#25 MINUTES?! AHHHHHH-

[silverselfshippingchaos]

this line.. OUGGHH...

[haikyuustuffs]

Those who have seen the movie....

Can we all talk about how they animated the last point?!

[phagodyke]

what if i just killed myself

[llamaisllama777]

The Sun and Moon show au!

God!Sun or TheGoldenSun!

[A Sun rises. A Sun and Moon show fanfic]

Moon was messing around on his computer in the daycare. "Finalizing designs." The computer said over the speakers of the daycare. "How long till completion?" Moon asked, clearly looking antsy. "5 minutes." The computer replied.

"Too long long. Expedite it." Moon said with a sense of urgency. "Will do, sir." The computer began to expedite the process. The loading bar started to move faster. First 3% then 25%, 56%, 77%, 99%, till finally the computer lit up. A big download complete box appeared on the screen.

Moon smiled widely. "Yes! It's complete!" Moon pushed a button, and Moon watched as his newest invention sprung to life. Literally. The toys jumped up, striking a similar pose that Sun and Moon would do when children would first enter the daycare.

Moon and Sun action figures.

The toys' eyes lit up, glowing a fine baby blue color. Moon picked up the sun toy and pushed the button on the back of it. The toy began to move. Moon put the toy back on the desk and watched it jump,twirl,and roll around the desk.

"Hi there!" The toy spoke in a slightly higher pitched voice similar to Sun's. "I'm Sundrop, and this is my brother Moondrop." The toy motioned for its other half to do it's thing.

The Moon toy stood up and began to do similar spins,tricks, and flips like the Sun toy had done before landing perfectly and striking a pose.

"Well, hi there, kiddie. I'm Moondrop!" The toy said in a excitable tone that was very unlike regular Moon. Moon chuckled.

"Fully operational." Moon said as he picked up the toys and turned them off. The toys' eyes faded from blue to black and said, "Goodbye, kids" and "Good night, kids"

Moon smiled and dropped the toys into a box. "Just in time for Christmas." The computer said"

"Yep" Moon replied.

"The kids are gonna love this."

"Hey, computer, can you check on how Earth and Monty are?" Moon asked as he started to box up more of the Sun and Moon toys he had just built.

"Of course, sir. According to Earth's last internet post, she and Monty are visiting the Great Wall of China and are on their way to visit the Terracotta solider statues."

"Sounds nice." Moon replied. "Still can't believe Monty is our brother-in-law in now.... sister-in-law? Them-in-law?" Moon asked, confused on what to call Monty.

Sun then walked into the daycare. "Hey, Moon. Hey, Spaniard."

"Hey, brother." Moon said over his shoulder as he moved a box elsewhere.

"Hello, Sun." The computer replied.

"What'cha doing?" Sun asked as he saw the dozens of boxes. His face lit up as he saw what the boxes were full of.

"Ahhhhhh! You finished them!" Sun said as he darted towards a box full of the toys. He grabbed one and pressed the button on its back.

The toy did spins, flips, tricks, and even sang songs to Sun. "These are so cool, Moon. Thank you. The kids are gonna love these!" Sun said in awe at his brother's craftsmanship.

"Thanks, but I really should be thanking you." Moon said with a genuine smile.

Sun looked at Moon nervously and asked, "Y.. you should thank me? W..wh..why?"

Moon found Sun's reaction was a little odd, but he just brushed it off. "Well, you're the one who gave me the idea to make these more advanced toys of us. You said you "wished the kids could take us home with them so they always have a friend with them.""

"Oh, ya, I.. I did say that."

Moon placed a hand on Sun's shoulder. "Hey, bro, you okay?" Moon asked, concerned with how his brother was acting.

"Of course, why wouldn't I be okay?" Sun said as he brushed Moon's hand off his shoulder.

"You just sound... I don't know... nervous for some reason."

"Me? nervous? No." Sun said in a very obviously nervous voice. "I'm not nervous. Why would I be nervous?"

Sun grabbed one of the boxes and started to carry it to where Moon had placed the other boxes for pick up.

Moon could see through his brother's thinly veiled lie. He was nervous for some reason.

Suddenly, it all clicked for Moon.

"Oooh. I know why you're nervous." Moon said in a somewhat mocking tone.

Sun froze with fear. "Y... you did?"

"Yep. It all makes sense."

Sun started to panick internally. "Not again! Not again! Not again!" Was the only phrase that kept popping into Sun's mind. Did his brother really figure it out again?

"You..."

Sun could feel everything start to slow down. No. No. No. He couldn't do this again. Sun waited for his brother's next words with dread.

"Have a girlfriend!" Moon exclaimed.

Sun stared at his brother for a few seconds and laughed. A wave of calm washed over Sun.

"Bahahahahaahahaha! No, Moon, I do not have a girlfriend."

"Oh.... then why are you nervous?"

Sun froze again. He needed to think of a way out of this. He didn't want to lie to his brother, but he also couldn't tell him the truth. Thankfully, like clockwork, an employee walked into the daycare. "Hey, Sun. Hey, Moon."

The employee said as he waved to the two brotherly bots.

"Hey, Tim." Moon said as he returned the wave to the young employee. "Hi, Tim." Sun said as he placed the box on the floor. "What's up?"

"I got the trucks pulled. We're ready for the toys." The employee took a peak into one of the boxes.

"Yoo! These look really cool! Can I have one?" The human employee asked.

"Sure. Why not?" Moon said in reply.

"Go ahead. We're not gonna say no." Sun replied.

"Sick!" The young human employee said. "Thanks, boss!" The employee said as he pocketed two of toys and lifted the boxes onto a dolly and pushed them out the door.

"See ya, boss."

"See ya, kid." "Bye, Tim." the two brothers said as they waved goodbye to him.

"Nice kid, glad we hired him." Moon said as he walked back to his station.

"Ya. He's a good one."

Sun noticed that Tim's unexpected visit had actually saved him from having to lie to Moon and had made Moon forget their previous conversation. Sun was relieved. Sun decided to switch the topic of conversation even more.

"So, um, have you heard from Earth today?"

"Hmm? No, not yet she's been busy. Her and Monty are still on their whole exploring the world trip. From what I've heard, they're in China currently."

"Oh, nice." Sun replied.

"I'm happy for them. They've been working hard lately they deserve the vacation."

Moon nodded in agreement."We should take one soon."

"That's not a bad idea, but it'll have to wait till after the holidays." Sun said, loving the idea of taking a vacation with just his brother it would be like the old days back when it was just Sun and Moon.

"I can wait till after Christmas." Moon said as he began to tap away at his keyboard. "Where would you like to go?"

Sun thought about it. There were a lot of places he'd love to go, so it was hard to just choose one.

"I.. I don't know... Tokyo?"

Moon bounced the idea around in his head a bit but ended up rejecting it. "Nah. Germany?" Moon suggested.

Sun shook his head. "No, we went there with Freddy and Toy Chica once, remember?"

"Well, we can go again."

Sun just shook his head, no.

Moon rolled his eyes. "Vegas?"

Sun laughed at that suggestion. "What are we? Monty?"

Moon laughed at his own suggestion, too. "Ya, I can see it now, I'm cheating a blackjack while you're losing our entire business at the slots machines."

"Hey, I would not lose!"

"Suuuurrrree, buddy, sure." Moon said with one last chuckle.

Sun and Moon stayed in the daycare, talking about possible vacation locations until Spaniard spoke up. "Sirs, you got a message from Lunar."

"Play it." Moon said, not taking his attention off the computer keys.

A very loud scream was heard over the speakers. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

Sun and Moon jumped with fear.

"Oh jeez!"

"Ah! What?!"

An evil little laugh was heard over the speakers.

"Sorry, guys, haha." Lunar laughed.

Moon sighed and shook his head while Sun held his chest, checking for a heart attack even though he didn't have a heart.... that he knew of.

"H..hey, Lunar." Sun said, still clutching his chest.

"Hey, guys! I'm coming over for dinner tonight. Do you want me to pick up anything?"

Sun thought about it for a minute. "Pizza, maybe? No! Spaghetti." Sun said.

Moon yelled up to the speakers. "Get me fettuccine!"

"Got it." Lunar said. "Oh by the way Monty's dad is with me. He says he's coming over too."

"Great." Sun said rather unenthusiastically. Ever since Monty and Earth tied the knot, Monty's pops had been coming around Sun and Moon's house a lot. They had no idea why. Moon's current theory is: Monty's dad is just bored and looking for some guy friends to hang out with.

"Tell him not to touch the dvr!" Moon yelled at the speaker. "I am not watching twelve hours of British soap operas with him again!"

"Got it." Lunar replied.

"When will you be home?" Sun asked.

"Umm... another ten... maybe nine minutes?"

"Okay, we'll see you then."

"Bye, Lunar."

"Bbbbyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeee!" Lunar said as the computer ended the call.

"Has his voice gotten louder?" Sun asked.

"Don't know, but it sure sounds like it."

Sun was about to make another comment on how their brother was till he heard the fimilar jingling of bells.

Moon and Sun turned their attention to the door to the daycare. The doors opened, and in stepped a brown skinned human girl with green emerald like eyes and two pigtails that had hair ties with bells wrapped around them.

"Daddy!" She exclaimed as she ran to Sun. "Dazzle!" Sun exclaimed.

Sun ran and picked up Dazzle and trapped her in a big hug. "Ooooh, Dazzle. What brings you here? You know Daddy's working."

"Better question: How did you get here?" Just as Moon asked that question, they heard a knock on the door. Solar was leaning against the door lightly knocking on it. "Sup?" Solar said.

"Hey, Cuz." Moon said still not taking his eyes off the computer.

"Solar? You brought Dazzle here?"

"Ya, the little tike called me and asked me to bring her here." Solar said as he removed his goggles.

"Dazzle, you know you aren't allowed to use the phone unless it's an emergency." Sun said very, very lightly, scolding Dazzle.

"But there was an e..emergency." Dazzle said.

"Oh? And what was the emergency?" Sun asked.

"I missed you."

Random aws was heard from somewhere. Sun looked around the room, confused, wondering where the aws were coming from. All eyes fell on Moon who was messing with his computer.

"Sorry, I was watching some cat video."

Moon pushed the play button and more "Aw"s were heard.

Sun just smiled and shook his head. "Welp, while you're here, you wanna see the new toys Uncle Moon made?"

Dazzle gasped. "Ya! Ya! Yaa!"

"Moon?"

"Sure. Here you go." Moon tossed Sun two of the toys, Sun caught them and handed them to Dazzle. Dazzle gasped when she saw them. "They look just like you guys!" She exclaimed.

"You think they're cool now? Just push that button right on their backs."

Dazzle flipped the toys over and pushed the button on their backs. The toys stood up and grabbed each other's hands, and did a tumbling routine. Dazzle laughed as they did.

"They're amazing!"

"I know, right?" Sun said, complementing his brother's work.

"You made those?" Solar asked as he examined the toys.

"Ummm... ya. I make toys." Moon replied.

"Since when?"

"Since forever." Moon said, kinda thinking Solar would know the answer.

"Oh, I didn't know. Neat." Solar said, complementing Moon on his toy-making skills.

"I could swore you knew." Moon was surprised, sure him and Solar weren't that close, but he figured he would at least know about his doll making hobby.

"W.. well, let's not swear." Sun said, trying to change the topic of their conversation.

"Hey, Dazzle, Your Uncle Lunar is coming for dinner."

Dazzle gasped again. "Yaaaaa! I like Uncle Lunar, he's small like me."

Sun laughed and patted Dazzle on head. "Yes, he is, and one day, you'll be taller than him."

Dazzle laughed and clapped for joy at the thought of being taller than her Uncle Lunar. Then she could pick him up like a plushie and carry him around.

Solar took a brief glance at his phone. "Hey, we should probably get going. Jack is in the car, and he's getting antsy being in there alone."

The whole room fell silent as Sun and Moon turned their gaze to Solar. Solar looked around the room, confused and slightly concerned.

"What?"

"You left Jack... in your car.... unattended?" Sun asked with a hint horror hidden in his voice.

"Umm... ya. How much trouble can he really cause? He's strapped in the backseat tighter than Fort knox."

Just then, Solar felt his phone vibrate. He looked down at it, and his calm, indifferent expression faded into one of shock, confusion, and concern.

"How did he manage to crash into a lightpost?! Was he actually backseat driving or something?"

Solar exclaimed.

Moon shrugged. "Hmh? You made him. You should know."

"Well, I don't."

Solar sighed and rubbed his eyelids.

"Alright, let's go check and see if Jack is okay and if the car is still in.... driveable condition, shall we?"

Moon nodded and followed behind his cousin.

"You coming, Sun?" Moon shouted from the next room. "Ya, in a minute!"

"Okay, Dazzle, you follow your Uncle Moon and Solar while daddy deals with some adult business."

"Okie-dokie." Dazzle said just before she sped off after her uncles.

Sun smiled and let out a content sigh. Sun's expression changed from one of contentment to one of seriousness. Sun sat down on the follow and closed his eyes and began to meditate.

Sun spent what must have been a few seconds like that till he opened his eyes and was in a completely different realm. The whole place looked like space. Stars and planets littered his view. He turned his view to a very fimilar figure in the distance. Sun got up and walked over to the figure.

The figure swirled his wine glass and took a sip of it as the figure hummed a song to himself. Sun stood behind the fimilar figure.

"I'm here." Sun said with a serious tone.

The figure smiled and finished his drink. The figure turned around, revealing himself to be a variant of Sun who wore a black and red tux vest. It was Dark Sun.

"So, you are." Dark Sun said with a villainous smile. "Tell me, my little wanna-be god, how are things on earth? I saw you almost slipped up back there."

"I don't want to do this anymore." Sun said plainly.

Dark Sun looked puzzled. "You'll have to be more specific. What exactly do you not want to do anymore?"

"Lying! I don't want to lie to Moon anymore or Solar or Earth or Lunar or anyone! I'm done lying!"

Sun said sternly. He had lied to his family for too long now and had done too many things he needed to get this off his chest. He could feel the weight of his guilt and secrets crushing him!

Dark Sun let out a small chuckle at Sun's words.

"Oh, you'll keep lying cause if you decide to blow the lid off this little secret of ours and go back on your word, I can't promise I won't go back on mine. "Dark Sun said sinisterly as his eyes began to glow a deep,dark blood red.

Sun stiffened up at his dark variant's threats.

"Y... you ww.. wouldn't dare." Sun manage to stutter out

"Oh, I dare." Dark Sun replied.

"We've done a lot of good for the world, Sun," Dark Sun said as he placed a hand on Sun's shoulder. "Why ruin it just cause you feel a little guilty to bumping off some old furry?"

"We didn't kill him."

"But he certainly isn't here anymore, is he?" Dark Sun said. Dark Sun could see his words had cut through Sun.

"Good boy. Now, run along and be with your family. Oh, and remember... no one must find out what we did. I don't want you spilling your guts out to anybody. Cause if you do, I can either erase their memories again like the last thirty times or maybe.... I'll come up with a more... "permanent solution" if you know what I mean?"

Sun's eyes widened in fear. "Don't you dare touch them!" Sun yelled as he raised his hand, and a golden light formed around his hand. A blast of air was sent flying at Dark Sun. The blast sent Dark Sun's wine glass flying, and invisible force began to choke Dark Sun. Dark Sun struggled to break free from Sun's magic grasp. Dark Sun watched as Sun's eyes began to glow a gold color. Dark Sun couldn't help but laugh.

Sun confused dropped Dark Sun. "Why are you laughing?" Dark Sun interrupted his own laughter."Cause you're starting to look so much like him."

Sun's became filled his regret, and his face reflected that. Dark Sun just chuckled.

"You're starting to remind me more and more of Nexus and Golden Freddy every day, ya know that?"

Sun couldn't even bring himself to look up at Dark Sun. He just looked down into the cosmos below him.

Dark Sun placed a firm but gentle hand on one Sun's shoulders. "It's alright. I get it you don't like lying to your family, BUT you know if you told them the truth what they would have, you do."

Sun nodded his head slowly in agreement.

"As much you or they hate it,Sun, we did a good thing. Probably the BEST thing for the universe. Because of us everyone is happy. You get a peaceful life with your family with no Fazbear or Creator, Monty gets his dad back and a happy and quiet life with Earth. Lunar doesn't have to deal with the stress or fear of the Astrals and his powers, and Moon doesn't have to face the repercussions of his actions and doesn't have to worry about accidentally creating another star or Eclipse or something. We did the right thing, Sun. It may not feel like it. Heck, it may NEVER feel like it, but we did do the right thing, I assure you of that."

Sun was just silent all of Dark Sun's speech. He wanted to argue with Dark Sun, but part of him didn't want to, believing that Dark Sun was correct and that they had done the right thing.

Dark Sun patted Sun on the shoulder. "Now, run along. Dazzle and the others are probably wondering where you are. Oh, and Sun.... don't do anything stupid." Dark Sun said as he returned to his work of watching over the universe and guarding it against all magical threats.

Sun began to walk away. He looked down at his still glowing hand. He had the power to be a god. He had the power to protect his family and keep them safe. He had the power for everything to go right for once.... but this wasn't HIS power. It was Golden's, and he stole it. Sun took one last look at Dark Sun and began to meditate again.

"It's tough to be a god, Sun. But it's tougher being mortal."

Sun couldn't disagree with Dark Sun's logic. It was better to be a god and deal with the dark secrets he had to keep than to be mortal and have to go back to the way things were.

When Sun opened his eyes, he was back in the daycare. He checked his phone. He had thankfully only been gone for a minute, but to him in that realm a minute felt like ten years. Sun picked himself back up, dusted his uniform, and put a big fake smile on for all to see and began to skip out the door after Dazzle saying,

"Dazzle, wait for me!"

Hope you enjoyed part 1 of The Golden Sun au. More to come.

[moseslikellamas]

♱𖣂 Redfork Menace ♱𖣂 pt.12

Benjicot Blackwood x Bracken!OC

Summary - Shanda begins to see the depth of Benjicot Blackwood.

Warnings - fem!reader, suspense, adult language, period typical misogyny, condescension, adult language, kissing, manipulation, benjicot brainrot, Kieran Burton fancast.

Word count - 2k

Screaming, crying, throwing up. Forgive me bc I have never written a scene like this. Ahhhhhh

Shanda looked away from Benjicot while he pulled the rest of the books. She scolded herself mentally. She was supposed to be cutting down on the blushing maiden business. But she couldn’t really help it, he was so interesting to look at. Most of the lords that called on her were older men. Some of them were surely nice enough but with a few too many years behind their belts. Worse though was the ten year old boy lord that had showed up at her door one day. She had entertained the boy with games and books but promptly refused to talk any nonsense about marriage. He should find some nice nine year old girl and try his luck there. The lord had thrown a fit at that but then he was only ten. So, it was nice to look at a man who wasn’t ancient or still in diapers. A rarity it seemed these days.

Benjicot took the seat beside her when he returned rather than the one across that would've been proper. He had a stack of books and carefully arranged them on the table around the map. She was busy looking at said map and admiring the pretty pictures painted on there. She had a sneaking suspicion Alysanne had done them but didn’t bring it up. She could ask the lady herself later and receive a more upfront answer than if she asked Benjicot. He was sitting so close to her, she could feel the body heat radiating off of him.

“This one is about the fish that swim in the Red Fork.” He said pointing at a book with a blue cover. “And this one is on wooden architecture, there is some good information about wood carving in there.”

She looked at him inquisitively. “What about books on battle tactics? Or perhaps the history of Raventree?”

He frowned. “I’m trying to be nice.”

“I know, it's weird.” He was obviously avoiding any subject that would start them arguing. But she was the one needling him now. He had a limit and she wanted to find it.

“It’s not weird. And what you’re trying to do isn’t going to work.” He smirked at her.

She steamed beside him. He couldn’t be a brute so hot headed that they nicknamed him bloody ben and infinitely patient enough to never get annoyed with her. The two traits were at complete odds with each other. And Shanda was very good at getting on people’s nerves. Very slowly and deliberately she pushed a stack of books off of the table. The thud echoed in the room. She smiled sweetly at him while he picked them back up. He placed them away from her reach the second time.

“Are you going to act like a child the entire time?”

She shrugged at him. “Maybe. I haven’t decided yet.”

“While you make up your mind, why don’t you stay quiet?”

Then he began to read from a book aloud, leaving no time for her to reply.

“It is said that the heart tree is the embodiment of the old gods themselves. The leaves resemble hands, and carved upon every trunk is a face.”

“Wait a minute. I don’t want to hear this.” She said, shaking her head.

Shanda followed the faith of the seven and had no desire to learn about the old gods or their twisted trees. And she didn’t know why he would want to discuss it. The Blackwoods were incredibly touchy about the subject, having blamed her family for the poisoning of their own heart tree. Which was preposterous of course, how would a Bracken even sneak in to find it? But he continued to read as if he hadn’t heard her.

“A man cannot tell a lie in front of a heart tree, the old gods can always tell. The roots drink the blood of the slain, the earth turns a rich dark color as a result.”

She stood up from the table then and began trying to take the book from his hands. But even with both of her hands pulling, she couldn’t pry it from his hands. Acting as if she weren’t there he read around her hand.

“Petrified weirwood is some of the strongest wood known to Westeros but is imbued with a strong magical presence that often causes queer visions.”

She gave up, sat back down and tried to block his voice out.

“Those who honor the old gods speak their vows in front of heart trees. The Night’s watch has its own heart tree for swearing in initiates. Marriages are conducted in front of the trees and often a new babe is introduced to the gods as soon as it is considered safe.”

She laid her head on the table, so much for gaining any useful information. The Night’s watch was miles away and forbidden to women. She didn’t care about the old gods, it was blasphemous for her to listen about their strange customs.

“Shut up! Stop talking about your freak gods, I don’t care.” She exploded at him at last, expecting that to get a rise out of him.

But all he did was stop reading, placed the book to the side and picked up another. He opened the cover before beginning to read to her again. This time about the various river fishes in the Red Fork.

“What’s your fucking deal?” She snarled, knocking her shoulder into his.

He snapped the book shut. “Watch your mouth. You shouldn’t talk like that.”

Oh so cursing was where he drew the line?

“Go fuck yourself, Lord Blackwood.”

He turned in his chair to face her, just staring. It made her nervous to have his undivided attention focused on her. Even though that’s what she had been vying for the entire time.

He reached up to cup her cheek, his grip soft. They stared into each other's eyes. His were soft and twinkling, hers hard and frustrated.

“I don’t understand you.” She said, angry tears prickling in her eyes.

“I’m a very simple man.” He replied, stroking her face with the most delicate touch.

They were sitting so close together and when he leaned in, she did not pull back. He tipped her face up, holding his hand under her chin. She watched his eyes dart from hers down to her lips. The air in the room was electric. When he leaned in further, she moved to meet him. Their lips meeting in a slow torturous pattern. His hand moved to hold the back of her head and she leaned into him, practically in his lap. When his tongue ran along her bottom lip, she thought she might die right there. Instead she moaned into his mouth.

He picked her up cradling her in his lap, his arms wrapped around her in a tight embrace. She couldn’t tell which limbs were hers anymore and she didn’t care to. They kissed languidly, unhurried and she wanted to crawl under his skin. But she pulled back to suck in all of the air she’d been missing out on. Breathing heavily, she stared up at him. His eyes were inches from hers and his hand was rubbing circles on her neck. He was so beautiful it made her heart hurt.

“Again.” She demanded.

He was momentarily taken aback by her command before his lips were on hers again. She never felt more alive than when his tongue was in her mouth and her arms wrapped him, tugging him closer. This was no time for caution, she wanted to burn from the inside out. To set the entire library aflame around them. Blackwood or Bracken made no difference in that moment of heated passion. All of her worries and fears melted away into nothing. There was only him and the feel of his hot skin against hers.

A loud cough sounded from across the room, forcing them to surface. Shanda was so dazed she didn’t turn to acknowledge anything had sounded. Just sat half drunk on his lap, face flaming and unconcerned. Benjicot had, however, actually faced the intrusion.

“Alysanne, what can I do for you?” She could feel the vibration of his chest when he spoke.

Shanda then found enough sense to look at the lady, who was frowning.

“I need you to double up on guard duty. Please meet me at the front gate at your nearest convenience.” Then she spun around and left the room abruptly.

The moment was not gone for her and she gladly would’ve told him to tell Alysanne to take a hike. But he stood, taking her with him.

“Don’t pout, you got what you wanted.” He said when he caught her eyes.

She was definitely not pouting.

“Do you think she actually wanted to give you extra guard duty?”

He rolled his eyes. “No, and I doubt that’s where I’m going off to now. First though, you are going back to your room. And if you try sneaking out of it again, there will be consequences.” The look he gave her was very pointed.

Which useless guard had finally ratted her out?

“You have very useless guards, you know? They gossip, wander and do anything but actually guard.”

He started pushing her towards the door.

“Yes, you keep finding new and inventive ways to tell me how lacking our guards are. But I’m replacing them twice as fast, you horrible sneak, so stay in your room.”

That put a damper on the halls being a viable option. Which turned her attention to the window, she could scale the walls. She thought she could manage it. And there was no choice now. Whatever delusions she had been holding on were gone now and anyone would be able to see it written across her face. The trial was going to be an abject disaster.

When they arrived at her door, he opened it for her.

“What will my family say? Now that you’ve killed me?”

She said, stepping into the threshold, one hand on the door.

“You’re still acting immature, you should work on that while I’m out.”

“Only if you work on common decency.”

“Stay in your room. There will be a guard here.”

It was hard to take him seriously when he craned his neck around looking for the guard who was clearly not posted outside of her door.

“Enjoy your scolding.” She said, trying to close the door.

“It’s very cute you think you aren’t going to get one too.” His foot stopped the door from closing.

“Stay in your room.”

“Alright! I get it, can you go caw at someone else?”

He just smiled and let her close the door. She stood there for a full minute after she closed the door, standing very still and taking deep breaths. Then she gave up, and sprinted across the room laughing. She couldn’t stop the glee flowing from every corner of her soul. She jumped on the bed and screamed into a pillow for a minute. Until she felt like she could get the tiniest grip on her sanity. But she would then just dissolve into giggles again. She didn’t even care that Alysanne definitely saw them and was planning out her remarks about their behavior.

She was just thinking of doing it again. She’d kissed boys before but it was the kissing done at the first cusp of puberty. More exploratory, less of a blazing inferno. There was nothing to compare the feeling to but she wanted to do it again. Compare the two against each other and then maybe go back for a third just to be sure. She could scale the walls after, but she had to attend the trial anyway. Whether she went back home or not it was inevitable, so why not just wait? And in the meantime, no one could fault her for trying to reach that high again. The Mother would understand, she was a mother for a reason.

[roguelov]

Alright so I’m making cinnamon rolls to celebrate, celebrate what you ask, I GOT THE ANIMAL SHELTER JOB 🎉

But then my Morpheus brain rot kicked in, he doesn’t know how to cook and like just imagine showing him how to make cinnamon rolls in your pjs and he doesn’t have his coat on and it’s a really sweet moment he’s behind you hugging your waist while you knead the dough whispering in your ear that you’re such a wonderful cook. And then cinnamon rolls go in the oven and he’s like mind if I get a taste of something else and puts you on the counter and

AHHHHHH CONGRATULATIONS 🥳🥳🥳

You were in the kitchen trying to make a batch of cinnamon rolls. While, Dream was there latched to your side at every step. His arms were snuggly wrapped around your waist. It was slightly cumbersome, but you enjoyed it too much to tell him to leave. His warmth and love spread throughout your body leaving you feeling fuzzy.

It was sweet. A tooth-rotting sweet.

“They certainly look delicious,” Dream commented. His chin rested on your shoulder as he peered down as you carefully placed the individual rolls into a pan to proof.

You snorted, “They’re raw.”

“Still,” he hummed, tightening his arms around you. “I know they will be.”

You chuckled softly.

You neatly placed the rolls into the pan and smiled to yourself. You carefully laid a towel over the pan. Dream reluctantly let go as you moved around more. Walking over, you slid the pan on top of your fridge. It should proof well up there, hopefully.

“Okay, so now we just wait for them to rise one last time,” you hummed, punching in the timer on your microwave. “About 25 minutes.”

You turned and began to collect all the dirty dishes into the sink.

Dream, however, smirked.

A wondrous idea had came to mind, or an idea he had been tossing and turning over and over since this baking session had begun.

He grabbed your waist again. You rolled your eyes at his neediness, but you were soon surprised. Twisting you around, he easily placed you on top of the counter, knocking aside a few of your dirty bowls.

You gasped, “Dream, what -“

“I do believe that is plenty of time for me to have a treat of my own,” he whispered, sinking to his knees.

Your confusion shifted. Your heart leapt into your throat.

Oh dear god.

“Dream,” you let out a shaky breath. It was both a warning and a plea. To stop, you had to clean, but to beg him to continue.

You couldn’t deny you thought about him as you made the rolls. The way his body curled around you, the way his hands occasionally grasped your hips, the way his breath tickled your ear, it was frustrating in many ways.

Hearing you whisper his name, he gently spread your legs apart. His eyes flickered up at you. Oh, it certainly was a sigh to see him on his knees for you. His devious smirk only grew. He licked his lips, and started to kiss your inner thighs.

“Relax, my love,” he purred. “I only want a taste.”

[allamericanb-tch]

crimson rivers thoughts (11)

@tastetherainbow290 this was genuinely terrifying

chapter 24

regulus telling james about his tantrum throwing away all the supplies he really is just like me

“what? Sorry, what? I mean—what?” 😭

“in the interest of conserving water, we could have a long, hot shower together” james you desperate lovesick fool

“if there's anyone I'm sleeping with when I get back, it's absolutely Sirius” i love their friendship

jegulus is jegulusing

"You know that other life? The one where we could have been happy together? Where we're not a great, big tragedy?” agghhh why is that so sad

regulus i love you

why am i gonna cry right now

regulus describing the life him and james will never get to have together

“Just holding on because we can, because there's some other life out there where we can't, where we don't, where we're a great, big tragedy—and we're so thankful it's not that one” TEARS

“Regulus said James was his first love, didn't he? James would give anything to be his last.” don’t worry james you will be ❤️‍🩹

is regulus dreaming rn

this is a sad nightmare

poor regulus omg. he feels so guilty for evan’s death and i feel so bad it’s not your fault reggie

they’re holding hands but in a sad way

oh no a scream

what has happened

oh! more spiders!

what is james doing 😭

“It's always you're so stupid, James; it's never you looked so sexy and heroic while saving everyone from the murderous spider, James.” james now is not the time for jokes. even though you are HILARIOUS 

PETER NO

another betrayal are we surprised (yes)

pete 💔

bernice pulling the baby card you are not peeta don’t even

rat 🐀 

peter noooo i am sad to see you go

yayyyy reg and james won

WHAT

WHAT

WHAT

WHAT

NO?!?!!

slughorn how could you

“you’re hesitating love” 

JAMES NO

i can’t end like this but i have to leave in 10 minutes

chapter 25

reading as much as i can before i have to go

“Maybe James is just in love, and he wants anything he can get from Regulus, even if it's literal death.”

“because i love you” i am going to CRY

remus pov switch

poor sirius ☹️ i know james and regulus both make bc. duh. but i am so sad for them bc THEY don’t know that.

the trojan war 💔

if regulus is troy does that make james gabriella

“ I hate you, he says. I love you, he means. I love you, he feels. I hate you, he knows.”

they’re kissing

regulus handcuffing james

what is he thinking

“you chose me and now im choosing you”

regulus i swear.

“He's drowning in his regrets before he ever hits the water.”

THE RIVER IS BLOOD?!

I HAVE TO LEAVE AHHHHHH

sirius pov switch

james pov switch?!

james don’t lose your arm please

JAMES?! hes so real honestly.

this is so romeo and juliet of them

THEY BOTH WIN!!! i knew it would happen but still the excitement is there

horace pov jump scare

“He wonders if James realized in his endeavor to save himself and Regulus, he would be condemning someone else.” ????????????

dorcas!!!!!!!!

where are they going 😧

*singing* my reputation’s never been worse so 

azkaban mention 

i’m intrigued by this plot line

grindelwald mention?!

there’s a baby in the car next to me who is SO CUTE (dw there’s other people in the car)

A DIVERGENCE?! should i read that fic too…

[dr0pthepounds]

Update:

Guysss. It’s been a minute since I posted. I got fucking sick again!! Not the stomach flu this time. I was really anxious while I was sick because I wasn’t able to walk on the treadmill at all but I weighed myself after I felt better and I lost 4 pounds while I was sick!!!

I’ve been feeling somewhat back to normal this week and have been able to walk on the treadmill. I weighed myself this morning and I’ve lost 2 more pounds I’m so so happy.

I’m finally starting to see some results and feel like I look smaller in the mirror. A couple weeks ago I bought a new pair of jeans because my old ones were too big and now the new pair I just bought are low key too big. Ahhhhhh. I’m officially lost 25 pounds this year majority of it from the last 2 months

[milli0n-dollar-fool]

spoilers

since mr gaiman said we could maybe write our notes as we watch each episode i’m going to start doing that because i need to understand what happened the whole season LMAO im so distracted by ep*s*d* s*x

Episode 1 – The Arrival

The thing Crowley is holding looks like the thing he used to stop time

His hair is GORGEOUS

He’s so bubbly and wholesome

Aziraphale didn’t know he was helping to make the stars

This is why Crowley wanted so badly to go to the stars with Aziraphale last season

Crowley sort of refers to Aziraphale as kind of below him? Like rank-wise (note Aziraphale is a cherub?)

Aziraphale looked so hopeful introducing himself to Crowley then he doesn’t even tell him his name LMAO

HIS EXCITED SQUEAL

Is this how he wanted to watch the world go in season 1? From space with Aziraphale?

Not aziraphale thinking Crowley was referring to him with the “look at you, you’re gorgeous”

“and I think you’ve done an excellent job” shoot me now

So this is what Crowley is like with a will to live (JOKING)

“stars everywhere” didn’t he say that in the “what are they putting in bananas these days”

Help the music sliding down when aziraphale breaks the news I didn’t notice that before

Crowley’s face

‘call it a nebula’ HE’S SO PROUD OF IT

‘if I was the one running it all’ *immediately looks around nervously*

‘how much trouble can I get into just for asking a few questions’ honey you’ve got a big storm coming

THE STARS RAINING AND THE WING AHHHHHH

Love David tennant getting his name before Michael sheen in the credits

We didn’t see the blimps or raining rabbits in this season – s3?

Switched little sign thingies

THE SIGN CROWLEY WROTE ABOUT CLOSING TIMES AHH

“hello Maggie” HIS VOICE IS SO GENTLE

“what if I were to take these Shostakovich records without paying for him” HE SAYS IT SO MISCHIEVIOUSLY  

Also I love some of shostakovich’s pieces

“I’m very good at forgiveness, it’s one of my favourite things” PARALLEL TO “I FORGIVE YOU” RAHHH

I like how you can see crowleys eyes behind his sunglasses

“frozen peas” he’s not letting down his man aziraphale

She has her order memorized AHRIOAA

Head empty no thoughts goob intro

HELP ME THE BARE HUG SQUEEZE I WOULD RATHER DIE

STOP LOOKING UP AND DOWN AZIRAPHALE

‘near one particular person’ ‘no certainly not’ bffr

Was the something terrible thing heaven hunting him down

His smirk at “his royal smugness is in trouble that’s so sad” AHHHH

“you’re funny. I love you” hello?

The fly in the box heh

Aww his face after ‘what box’

I will die for Muriel  

TONE OF VOICE

“go back a long time’ ok

‘because there’s a naked man there?’ JEALOUSSSS

“is it something I can help you with?’ JEALOUSSSS

So like we were right about Crowley eating/drinking really fast

“purely selfish action’ not very angelic of you

I wonder what the rest of his keys are for

HIM PUTTING HIS GLASSES ON THE HORSE LMAO

“ask him properly” I jumped

“I am dusting” HE JUMPED LMAO

Dartmoor sherlock reference I see you

Arguing 25 minutes into the show I see

‘precious, peaceful, fragile’ man

‘if you refuse to help me you’re at liberty to go’ paralleling ep*s*d* s*x is gut wrenching  

“no, I would love you to help me” im crying he really is picking up the pace

How long was that blue car out there for  

Ngl him smiting everywhere was kinda

“you’re misunderstanding me uriel” “im understanding you very well. You think somebody should be giving orders and that someone is you” PARALLEL TO THE END

I unironically love Michael

Crowley looks so tired in his Bentley :(

For a sec I thought we were going to get traitor traitor Crowley  

The way he sprawls lmao

Beelzebub trying to find the man theyre down bad for lmao

The way they converse comfortably instead of Crowley being afraid of Beelzebub  

Aww Maggie being sheltered :(

GOOD OLD FASHIONED LOVER BOY

“theres only room for one of us in this lane and it’s not you” crying

I love how nina remembers people based off their coffee order – That’s Mr Six Shots of Expresso

“my bad” aww

The way he was listing when he did the I was wrong dance WHAT HAPPENED

Were those the years of the flashbacks I’ll check later (1650, 1793, 1941)

I love the dance I need the backstory

“very nice” rolling

“together” im crying

Parenting is going well

‘it would barely move the dials’ okay

They look so determined

Their smiles when they thought they did the miracle right aww

And theres the end of the episode folks what do we think

[merlinxmagic]

My thoughts on the s2 soundtrack

SPOILERS FOR THE ENTIRE GRISHAVERSE BOOKS BELOW!!

1. On the run: definitely alina mal in some dramatic chase scene in ep 1

2. Market chase: Mal (and possibly alina) running in the village in the sneak peak we got in september

3. Tolya and Tamar: Alina and Mal meet Tolya and Tamar

4. Wylan: No explanation needed but AHHHHHH. says a lot that he’s the only character with the track as simply their name. superior king

5. Come Sail Away: Dramatic moment on Nikolai’s ship, where they first set sail or smth

6. Brother: Jordie flashback (SO SOON THO, assuming the soundtrack is in order). 

7. Arriving at the Island: Nikolai’s ship docks at an island where they look for the sea whip, I haven’t read S&S in a hot minute so don’t count me on this one

8. Crows ambushed: :( Probably involves Pekka

9. Return of the Useless Grunt: No idea who this is... definitely something to do with Ketterdam and the Dregs tho

10. I’m Here for the Killers: Kaz related I’m guessing, perhaps him talking to the crows and reminding what they’re here for, inducing a ruthless mindset

11. Matthias fights: Hellgate scene ay

12. The Night We Met: Christina Strain posted this on twitter with an explosion emoji so I think we’re safe to assume it’s for wesper!! so we ARE getting tannery scene?? I’m so confused haha

13. Become the Blade: It’s mal doofuses

14. Jesper’s Past: AHHHHHH

15. Hope is Dangerous: Inej, a darker moment for her character this season (perhaps the way she is ‘tested’ that Amita referred to in an interview a long time ago?). Or maybe this is the scene in the trailer where she is fighting the Shu warrior?

16. Shu Han: Party arrives in Shu Han I’m guessing, the crows are involved too I bet since they seem to be in Shu Han in the trailer

17. The Disciple: Something to do with s&b, possibly the apparat? I need to reread that series before s2

18. I Can’t Lose You: Malina (perhaps alludes to Darkling’s remark “Are you prepared to sacrifice that which is most precious to you?”)

19. Deserve Her: Kanej or Malina, could be Helnik but I have no idea where they’re going with Nina and Matthias and if they will even meet other than in Matthias’s dreams

20. Chased: Not sure, either crows or Mal and Alina again

21. Battle at the Moat: Was this where Wylan was with Kaz and he was throwing a bomb at Tamar? I was never sure if Tamar was actually part of that scene or if they were different ones. Either of those shots are definitely involved her though

22. Stronger Than An Emerald: I’m guessing this is related to Pekka (Emerald Palace), and definitely is true since Kaz ended up refurbishing the place and renaming it The Silver Six (adorable btw). But if so, does that mean the crows have now returned to Ketterdam? Or has Pekka Rollins joined them in Shu Han? Or did they never go to Shu Han in the first place?

23. We Can Do This: Perhaps the scene with Kaz, Jesper, Wylan, Tolya, Tamar, Nikolai, and Adrik where they are watching the nichevoya and about to attack?

24. Final Goodbye: Crows part with s&b crew, or maybe the darkling and alina. Or if they reach the end of r&r and mal is about to sacrifice himself for alina?

25. Let Me Be Your Monster: Darkling, move on

26. Loss ad Sacrifice: Never mind, THIS is probably where mal sacrifices himself?? Or maybe Genya and the nichevoya?

27. Hope for the Future: Ending theme, perhaps ties in with the Inej track

28. How Will You Have Me: this is going to be the best scene in the show. 

29: Rise And Fall: idk man probably s&b related

Notes:

- this season is going to be INSANE. i’m really excited and scared because I’ve been waited for this for two years and... wow. 

- no Nikolai track? Maybe ‘come sail away’ is for him?

- hyped for march 10 when i will be able to listen to them and analyze all of these further!

[covid-chronicle-4585]

Coronavirus Chronicle 

05/22/2020 

The humans continue to shop it seems nothing will satisfy their appetites for consumerism. The people must have their pops, how could they ever live without their precious loungefly bags. I leave this chronicle in hopes that the future generation of BoxLunch will understand the horrors of the year 2020. 

May the all father grant me the strength I need to confront these horrors. With my mask and my hand sanitizer I will fight the uncouth hordes. Comp will be made, metrics must continue to rise, though I am afraid I must rise to the call of capitalism. May Odin grant me strength 

05/23/2020 

The onslaught of consumerism continues. The humans were waiting at the door this morning. People only have one thing on their mind, consume fuel the machine. I find my self at odds one hand I am glad as I benefit from their ignorance on the other I fear for our society. In a world where worth is measured my numbers on a screen it seems human well being and life is sub to greed. Oh thunderer protect us not only from the disease plaguing our lands but from the disease that is American ignorance and pride.

05/28/2020

The insufferable swine continue to spread the deadly contagion in turn for their own personal comfort and selfishness. Are they evil or just too stupid and brainwashed to know any better. 

06/04/2020

Need tacos.

More on this later.

6/22/20 

As the contagion rages on it appears things are quickly sliding down hill. As we become the epicenter of the outbreak. The uncouth Karen’s have emerged, they are on the fore front of the mask war. As we all have been wearing face coverings for months now to help stop the spread the masses are refusing to do so. Claiming medical exemption because god forbid they are uncomfortable for 5 minutes. Their comfort is worth fighting for other people be dammed. May Freya protect us from them and my Odin strike them down

6/25/20

I have acquired the tacos.

7/18/20

Ahhhhhh 

11/12/20

I am the new author. I have found the chronicle and will continue the good work of those before me. It is now the holidays, the dreadful din of Christmas is ever approaching. The masses refuse to slow. The masses refuse to protect themselves. They won’t wear their fricken masks. They won’t shop online like sensible little consumer drones. Detestable. 

11/29/20

The darkest Friday has rent me asunder it’s cruel claws, and razed my spirits to the ground. Still I plod on, in the hopes of recovering my humanity in a world not meant for me. As the previous author, I too desire the elusive taco. They sound delightful.

12/7/20 

First off I wish to apologize for my absence. The hordes have been relentless. I have not had a moment to gather my thoughts, the darkest of Friday’s has come and gone. I see in my absence another has taken of the chronicle, whomever you are I thank you the tale must continue this year can not be forgotten. The Yule season is upon us a season originally dedicated to give thanks for your blessings. Has become nothing  more than the pinnacle of the consumer culture we find ourselves in. The virus still runs rampant it appears nothing can stop it. Even the great orange one has been infected, yet the masses appear unfazed. Some have even taken to the streets in “protest” they seek to demolish the protections set in place. One cant help but wonder maybe they just want to watch it all burn and I ask myself maybe so do I. The news states we may have a cure on the way. I pray to the gods its comes soon.....

12/9/20

Second Author here. I hurt my feet. All 2 of them. I think I have plantar fasciitis now, so that’s pretty neat. More feet updates pending.

12/14/20

The hordes don’t seem to be stopping or even slowing; what’s worse is that on this desolate disconnection from the homeland (kioskland as I refer to it) I am subjugated to the uninterested and lost members of the hordes, in much larger quantity as well. Today alone I’ve seen 3 coughers; I begin to contemplate the use of the face shield of transparency. I hastily await my return to the homeland.

12/16/20

I am trapped in Kioskland... it is a lonely island not far from the Mainland. One would think it is a lively land as it is surrounded by the hordes, but it is desolate. The consumers cough and sneeze outside of their masks, defeating the purpose of a viral shield. 

Just a stones throw a way, in Calendar-land, the empress scratches plaque from her teeth. Her hooves remained spoiled as patrons purchase their paper goods. Additionally, her snout remains free from her viral shield, her nares visible as she breathes carbon dioxide on all that is being sold. Once again, the viral shield fails to protect patrons from the danger of human ignorance.

12/23/20

Second author here. My feet don’t hurt anymore, and I think that’s real neat.

12/24/20

HE is coming...

(Second author edit)

And so am I 

12/26/2020

(SA) He came

12/27/2020

Work-safe Sasuke

12/27/2020

We must dismantle the patriarchy

12/28/2020

Stalker hair straightener man watches me from afar like Slender Man watches his victims.

12/29/2020

Kiosk life be like:

4/16/2021

Hello there friend. We are still here - alive and well. DEATH TO THE KIOSK! The torture is over. Let the celebration begin!

5/18/2021

The anniversary of the chronicle has arrived. Hope is on the horizon 

At the time of me writing this 40% of the American population is fully vaccinated. Supply is high yet demand remains low I fear that the stupidity of the people who deny the severity of our situation will only prolong this peril. We have led the horse to water yet it refuses to drink. Will this nightmare ever end? Or will the country simply embrace this new reality? What is life but a constant evolving nightmare ? Oh allfather guide the meek for they are the ones who will suffer from the true plague polluting this world, stupidity. We are one week away from the declaration of the end of the requirement of mask wearing is this a light at the end of the tunnel ? Time will tell.

5/29/21

I have returned foolish mortals

7/27/21

It’s Tuesday.... it was a sweaty hot day, ah so much light- my eyes!!!! Actually I haven’t seen the sun in over a month, and yet...it’s here today, and guess what.... I’m here....at work, dealing with an AC that constantly sends me the ice age down my prickly legs. Only reason I don’t shave my legs is cuz of this damn store is always cold!

7/28/21

I’m watching you Wazowski......Aaaaaaaallllllllllwwwaaaaaayyyyyysssss watching.......

8/4/21

“The UNmasked middle school bandits” 

A pretty normal day today, me and my crew are working hard as usual. Shipment has been taken care of, the store looks as if all the shirt piles have turned to perfect little book stacks. Greeting the capitalists, with our smiling eyes just like how Tyra Banks has taught us! However things took a very dark turn when the UNmasked middleschool bandits arrived! Innocent they may have seemed, but the pit stains and shiny foreheads as well has the constant lingering around in the clearance section and anime corner has led to suspicion! We... stalked....creeped...simply followed them around trying to figure out what has been taken or what was their mission. The bulging pocket smiled at me so secretively. What was inside? What was taken? I guess we will never know, since they have caught on to our tracking skills being to great. They have left the premises completing their mission, this is all we have left of them. A photo of their backs, as they are laughing at our masked faces. 

8/18/21

Warning!!!!! BoxLunch is haunted! And it is official... he’s a sexist. He seems to only haunt us female crew members. Every morning and evening while opening or closing we hear him... his loud heavy breathing. Then the clicking and scratching on the ceilings and not to mention the back and forth steps in the stockroom... you’re never alone. Mackey is here to make sure of that. Things fall and or get moved. Why Mackey why!? 

Mackey is his name, misogyny is his game. 

8/26/21

Shipment has been nothing but loungefly bags and we are drowning.... SEND HELP!!!!  Not Mackey tho! Or else we are guaranteed to die. And join his haunting....Also the computers have been updated. The font makes some of us have instant migraines and the urge to vomit is real! Was this Mackey or the company...WAIT it just occurred to me.....what if Mackey is the company!!!!! 

9/9/21

9/14/21

In the pits of despair desperately trying to make the mainland presentable for the new leader in charge. It was slow, which was perfect for our mission, until the monstrous creature known as……….A Man walked to drain our will to live. Questions after questions which all were really just one question, just worded differently every time, hoping to get a different answer out of us. “Precious Oh Precious” is what he kept mumbling, he wanted a funko pop from over a month ago that we won’t ever receive again. And after that this clown asking for a product without any useful information or description. Oh Odin or Zeus whoever is listening, get us a simulation game where we can act out our violent tendencies to disrespectful and or brainless consumers. The item the clown wanted was right in front of her clown nose, just as we told her from the beginning. Trust us… we know this land like the back of our Pets. We’re here for a reason. The day ended with muscle pain from constant punching of the air. 

9/16/21

BLHOL30….

9/20/21

Today we launched a McDonalds collaboration rocket from our mainlands. We didn’t think it would be noticed. WHY are we advertising poison to our Precious consumers. We will never know….I don’t see the McDonald island advertising for us! The moment we opened the gates consumers came flowing in, it was like a tsunami of gluttony. I didn’t understand … what was the hype? Do people like shortening their life span… clogging their veins with those soggy fries. It’s called “Almost live dying”…. People love it! 

10/2/21

We held a funeral today for a baby lizard that seems to have been squished between out BoxLunch bags. ALSO I witnessed a mother hiss at her 9 year old daughter…. These consumers are developing backwards… I wonder what it is…. COVID-19? Maybe? Thank gawd I’m wearing my viral shield.

10/22/21

Today we had to exterminate a roach, it didn’t go as we planned, the roach definitely fought back rather than accepting defeat, it didn’t seem to understand the reasoning of extermination, but it had to be done, for the sake of the mainlands and its original community. Hurrah and Hurray! The mainlanders cheered. For the mainlands are now safe and positive once again. To clarify, there are places meant for roaches, where roaches are needed and wanted and are seen to be good, but not on this turf. 

10/31/21

It’s Halloween, there are three Angels in the store,being rude…..last time I checked I could’ve sworn Angels are supposed to be…. Nice?….  I Mean isn’t that how they got to heaven in the first place???? If not then I’m assuming Zeus got some things to work out up there…. But ok back to the 3 Angels they ignored us the whole time they were here….to be fair, they could’ve been deaf and I’m just mean, but I could’ve sworn when I greeted them the 7 times they walked in and out the mainlands they made eye contact soooo who knows. OH also a WILD BEAST WALKED INTO THE STORE…. The Mainlanders and I were terrified, huddling up behind our safe spot the register for we feared for our lives. But then we discovered it was far more worse than we thought….A FURRY, A WILD FURRY, it rubbed its paws together menacingly, gawking at Pixar…also it almost died of heatstroke… were all glad it didn’t tho, since we already didn’t want to get close to it as is, but the idea of having to touch it. We rather die of heatstroke ourselves.

11/1/21

Mainlander to consumer: want to sign up with our FREE loyalty program

Consumer: what, no I ont come here often anyways….-

Mainlander: are u sure it’s fre-

Consumer: what I can’t even hear you I’m good

*leaves*

Delayed 

12/1/21

Also, today one of our mainlanders traveled to our sister lands, since she heard the rumors of meeting a famous astronaut there. As she arrived on the sister lands soil, they denied her entry, telling her she needs to come back another day. The Mainlander did not understand, but accepting defeat traveled back home to the mainlands to tell the story of her failed mission to the sister lands. The other Mainlanders couldn’t believe the audacity the sister lands had to deny one of our own. How dare they, so we contacted a former sister lander who had joined our lands, to try and bring peace between us. He has failed. As one of our own then decided to try her luck to disguise herself as a regular consumer, she was caught….hope seemed almost lost. But then… one of the mainlanders had an in lighting idea. Ask the macaroon lands for help. As we explained our distressed situation to Queen macaroon herself, she  decided to help us. And we send her in. Time was ticking, fingernails have been eaten, heartbeats have been… beating and see there….SUCCESS!!!!    We have Acquired a fellow Cat astronaut to join us on our mainland. The better lands. 

12/18/2021

This is a POV of a sad and depressed kid he is bored and wanted to just type out some random stuff cause why not right\

Here’s all I really gotta say…. Boys are trash, they like to hurt my damn feelings for what???? I know that I am not the best person in the world but I’m trying like that counts, luckily Selena Gomez no nicki Minaj are by my side reminding me that I’m a bad bitch always and forever.

12/22/2021

Holiday season is almost done, we’re counting down the minutes, for the stupid questions, and consumptions to finally come to an end. The mainlands have been so cleaned out, we barely have enough left to survive for ourselves. It’s cold, and empty I’m starting to see dust bunnies form on the shelves, like tumble weeds in a desert. Single shirts desperately trying to fill the shelves like lotus pedals on a pond. How will we recover from this? We do not know… all we know is we got to make these numbers with what little we got… Mr. potatoes head is mocking us in the corner, as he will never leave us…even tho he knows how his worth can bring up our numbers by a lot. But as he is not appealing to the eye, he remains here.

Different mainlander here, a visitor has come up once again

Visitor: do you have any more of the Shang-chi shirts in the window ?

Mainlanders: right there *points to bright red shirts hanging in plain sight* ( may I point out that the mainland isn’t large)

The visitor walks away and with complete and utter disgust one of our mainlanders says “du*$*#*&* b*#&@

12/23/21 

It has been many a season since I felt the call no, the need to document my experiences over this past year. We are once again in the midst of the “holiday season” or so our oppressors have come to call it. I feel less festive and more disappointed in my fellow man. Gone is the day of looking back over the year and being thankful for what life gave or did not give you. Instead its been replaced with consumerism. The need to spend money on people simply because you share genetic materiel. It is one thing to give gifts out of love but to gift out of obligation disgusts me. 

At this point in our story the virus has ravaged our planet with pestilence. Variant after variant. This plague will someday end but I fear our planets appetite for consumerism will never relent. 

Odin have mercy on us all 

12/28/21

One of the mainlanders here,today was pretty chill, no one other than a man and some teens were dumb today, the reasons were the man did not tell me I had cheese on my face, FAKE. and the Teens OFC knocked something down laughed and left it, anyways…. There was this outsider girl, from Xmas tree lands asking the dumbest question of them all today, “do u sell this” she asked, holding up one of our plushie products with a sensor on its butt and a tag so big it could be a post card. I starred….waiting for her to realize her mistake and give her the chance to go back and try again,… but she didn’t. She asked again but sounding even dumber than before….then after being startled, shaking in her boots and almost blown away out of fear from my glare I gave her, she re asked the question..l now it made sense… she found the item in Xmas tree land and came to return it….why not say that right off the bat… I def changed some lives today…created some purple core memories.

1/12/22

If a crooked eyed lizard looking cow ever asks me if I work here again I-IIII WILL WORK SO HARD so it can kill me dead. 

1/15/22

2/27/22

03/04/22

“If we ever get a dog in shipment…put it on hold for me” - Niara

 3/4/2022

Batman in the Marvel section…Thinking about what could’ve been…

F

5/3/22

This exists ladies…. Let’s go….what’s stopping us… 

5/3/22

Been a while Chronicles. It’s been beyond stressful here on the mainlands. We’re being watched, watched like hawks by these consumers. They’re waiting for us to act humanly, for even just a second, so they can report us to the feds. Also known as Medallia Isle. Can’t show them emotions or reactions or your done.

5/5/22

I have experienced a pinch of Human kindness today, and the only reason I did is because I was that pinch. Im like a mythical creature or something. Anywho This teen consumer came in, simply wanting to purchase a wallet, then asked me if it was a good idea to gift it to someone that has done her wrong, and when I gave her my honest respond the teen consumer had started to cry. I offered a hug, despite the fact I HATE   body contact of any kind or any of these consumers. Since a large portion of them usually don’t care about our existence. But I did it this one time, and it helped them…. Anyways back to feeding these consumers with little that we got. 

6/2/22

S O S, these squish consumers are next level. They are basically zombies… and were re-enacting the walking dead!!! Send help! One of them has gone rogue and been stalking not only us Mainlanders but the UPS landers as well…. All for one single pink ribbit ribbit. We can’t take it anymore, we feel their wrath, those claws and fangs… haunting. for something they could simply find online. Some of our people fear to stand behind the registers… knowing they will be front line squish menace food. 

6/11/22

There’s only so many pieces of me and I’m running out. 

12/17/22

As another cursed “holiday season” descends upon us I once again find my self sick not with plague but with the state of humanity. All that matters is that their thirst for consumerism is quenched. 

For if little jimmy doesn’t get his legs set his entire world will fall apart. 

Yesterday’s read that a 10 year old shot his mother because she didn’t buy him a PlayStation. 

Oh Allfather save us from this, waking up in this world is excruciating. How can I continue to drag myself through the muck that is humanity. There has to be more than this I curse all these people may the Gods curse them. Rather than spending all day trying to buy your family’s love maybe just try and spend your days with them. This is all I could ever ask for there is no monetary compensation that could ever be worth being away from them. However my fate was decided long ago when rich men enslaved the rest of to a life long conscription in their cursed “system” shackles have been replaced by credit cards and health insurance. Work or die. Is this what you intended for me Allfather  ? Or did the Monotheism of this modern world simply crush your memory into oblivion. I fear for my children. Valkyries come and take me, Take me to Valhalla we’re I may feast with the Aseir. 

12/22/22

The mall is decked with tinsel and cheer But my heart is heavy, filled with fear 

The crowds are thick, 

the lines are long But I stand here, singing the same old song

I'm working in the mall during Christmas time But it's hard to feel festive when I'm working nine to nine

The holiday cheer is lost on me As I ring up gift sets endlessly

The jingle of the register is all I hear 

As I long for the comforts of home, 

oh dear 

But I know I must stay and do my part Even though my heart is breaking, torn apart.

I try to smile and say "Merry Christmas" to all But my voice is heavy, 

my spirit small

 I miss my loved ones, 

I miss the cheer 

I'm just a mall worker, lost in the holiday “cheer”

But I'll keep on working, 

through the night and day Hoping one day I'll be able to celebrate in a brighter way,

 Until then, 

I'll stand here, 

tired and worn Working in the mall during Christmas, 

my spirit forlorn.

1/3/23

 Three days into the new year, consumers seemed in good spirits. People had high hopes for the new year to be different. Positive. But somehow today wasn’t so positive…it may have started that way…but it took a dark turn for some of our mainlanders. Tammy R. Tammy R. Walked in with her family and mother. She walked up to our cashwrap, letting us know she’s here to pick up an order. As we searched up her name to locate her order, it turned out the order wasn’t here yet, but had been shipped out few hours prior. As we shared that information with Tammy…she became furious…and ugly too. Her eyes started to bulge out of her head, the stress vain popped out from her temple, and her voice turned from moody grandma too aggressive old Hulk. She questioned why it wasn’t here yet, if she had just placed the order moments ago…. Why we aren’t like Amazon? ….we do not know, but we tried to give her options to not only calm her down but to have her be satisfied with our service. Nothing seemed to work. After she called us all low life idiots she had stepped out. We thought we had a moment to breath but No,…Tammy R. Had returned to make us feel her wrath. “If my order isn’t here then what’s this?” Pointing at a villains Ursula sweater. “It’s a sweater” I had responded to her…not realizing she doesn’t know what a sweater was. She claimed that’s what she had ordered and I gave her the option to repurchase it, pay what she paid at checkout for her order, and then cancel her order when it arrives. She had nothing to say. Which I read as a good sign. I was yet again…incorrect. She questioned why she would have to pay…she demanded to get it for free, since she has already paid. …or so she claims. As I denied her from receiving a free item, she became vocally abusive. Not only are we low life idiots but *$*#*@*#&$*#&*# words I can’t even type. She got loud and racist. As another customer overheard they proceeded to step in and defend us Mainlanders from this terrorist attack known as Tammy R. Our champion. Our hero. Started mocking Tammy, told her she can’t talk to us or treat us like trash. Tammy said she can do as she pleases, since she’s a cop, and cops get to do these things. It was Wild. The claws, the fangs. It was ugly. But our Champion won the battle. We survived the day. Happy new year Consumers…but there’s nothing new about it. 

[dabidagoose]

Given an impossible conundrum

[the-apocrypha]

Talking with @bitacti this afternoon about that tiktok in which a woman breaks a load of dried spaghetti in half to make it fit in the pot, and her Italian boyfriend has a meltdown over the disrespect. Everyone else said Nicky/Joe, cute, but my brain immediately said OKAY SO NICKY AND NILE.

Nile snapping a load of Barilla in half to cram it into the pot, and Nicky all, "Ahhhhhh, why? Nile! Is it not enough that we must suffer these garbage American noodles? Must we also make it so short???" And Nile mostly laughs it off, but part of her--the part that remembers that she's 25 and that she grew up on ricearoni and gushers--feels kind of like a pleb. Joe, being Joe, is like, "No worries, kid, I got your back."

So Joe is there with a discrete shake of the head the next time Nile starts pulling the bacon out of the fridge when they're making carbonara, and he casually steers the strainer out of the sink just before Nile can start rinsing off the steaming pasta.

He also provides helpful tips, like when Nile didn't know the ancient Italian custom of making the sign of the cross before you add the salt to the pasta water, so God will bless your meal. Or that a wooden spoon should only be rested on a plate that is red, white or green. Or how fish should always be cut with the largest knife in the house as a sign of respect to the fishermen.

It all comes to a head when Nicky puts Nile in charge of the grilled salmon but she can't find their cleaver anywhere, and after ten minutes and several upended drawers, Nile is getting desperate and then

Nicky: Nile, are you searching for God in this kitchen or a knife, because only one of those things will filet a fish for us.

Nile: I can't find the big knife!

Nicky: The big knife?

Nile: Yes, the big one. We're having fish. We need the big one.

Nicky: You can just use this--

Nile: No, we need the biggest one!

Nicky: But--

Nile: DO YOU WANT THE FISHERMEM HONORED OR NOT NICKY

Nicky: ...

[From outside, the thwick of a blade sinking into wood as Andy hits another bullseye with their cleaver]

[feelingofcontent]

DNP Rewatch: What's in my suitcase?!

Date video was published: 06/25/2014 (X)

DNP Main Channel Rewatch: 231

This was a seemingly last-minute Phil video before DNP headed to VidCon. (Although he did tweet about actually packing a couple days later...)

0:00 - so much travel.

0:06 - Phil has never moved faster in his life, lol. What sort of landlord doesn’t knock or ring the bell before just coming in?!

0:07 - I’m not sure trying to explain makes it better. 😊 Love that he added a subtitle for his landlord that is just “...?” 😂

0:14 - poor Phil. He looks so frazzled after that.

0:23 - “I’m writing an angry letter” somehow Phil does seem like an angry letter/email type of person if he’s really upset about something.

0:30 - all of Phil’s pajama pants are SO bright

0:35 - I’m with Phil here...wtf.

0:39 - oh, DNP both tweeted about seeing and crying at the TFIOS movie (1, 2, 3)

0:53 - he is paying such little attention to what he’s actually packing. Funny animal background (and voice, hahaha) of course.

0:59 - the bat t-shirt from back in Kissing a Plasma Ball! is still his favorite several months later

1:01 - I love the googly eyes on his DS, lol

1:05 - Phil’s recently used emojis are always a journey

1:25 - just a rain of random socks into the suitcase there

1:37 - ahhhhhh, those spider’s legs are so long. yikes

2:07 - I’m terrified by both that noise and face 😨

2:13 - why did he associate a question about sushi with Australia? lol

2:15 - so about a year before this. And Dan calling Phil brave for trying it. 🥺 Cat had a whole vlog that this clip is from.

2:29 - so many horrifying things in this video, actually

2:46 - well. yep.

2:52 - Phil’s pants halfway down his ass for once, like Dan’s usually are

2:57 - that looked dangerous but I’m surprised he got that high

3:08 - I love that the only thing he’s seems to be really embarrassed about from the past is his hair 😂

3:12 - of course he had a lion ready to go for this. But also...that is not the words, haha

3:20 - lol at him packing the Furby for some reason

3:27 - and the Totoro

3:31 - his annotation here 😂 Definitely not the most efficient way to pack.

3:54 - of course he has a “suitcase noise”

This is definitely a filler video with no substantial questions answered (not that that’s different than usual for this era), but cute all the same!

DNP were in California for Vid Con from June 24 (lol at this Dan post from the airport, and photos from the plane) to July 3. Both of them posted several photos (1, 2, 3) from Day 1. They also prepared for and did a stage performance of “who’s more likely too” (which will eventually get posted on Dan’s channel), had a 6+ hour meet-and-greet that they took a “template” photo for too, hung out with friends like Tyler and Cat, recorded for YouTubers React, adventured in LA, and went to Six Flags. 

But also found time to chill and play Mario Kart (lol at Phil giving a thumbs up?) and order room service. That sounds about right for DNP.

[weirdo19]

AHHHHHHHH 25 MORE MINUTES UNTIL HARRYS HOUSE COMES OUT, AHHHHHHH IM LOSING MY SHITTTTTT AHHHHHH

[haikyuu-fics-and-aus]

Hit It ‘Till It Breaks- Part 5- Unexpected Visit

Requests are open! Feel free to send one in at any time!!

You sat in front of your vanity with two shirts in your hands. God, you thought, what the hell should I wear?

You ended up throwing on a button up shirt with your black skirt before hearing the door bell ring. Suga had promised to pick you up before the movie night to buy some extra snacks.

You quickly grab your white and pink backpack and race down the stairs with your shoes halfway off your feet. It was strange that Suga had arrived so early, he wasn’t even due to leave for another ten minutes.

“I’ll be out in a second!” You yell.

“Y/N! Open the door!”

You froze, that definitely wasn't Suga’s voice. “What do you want Tooru?”

“Just open the door!”

“Why are you at my house?”

You heard a hard knock coming from the other side of the door. If Oikawa were to use any more force the door might as well fly off the hinges.”Leave me alone!” You yell.

Why the hell was he here? He was the one who hurt you. You screamed as the door suddenly flew open, you tried to move but it seemed like your feet were glued to the floor.

Oikawa starred at you with almost manic eyes. “If you would've just opened the door we wouldn't be here right now would we?”

You start to back up trembling, “What are you doing here?”

“Tell me the truth, are you dating Sugawara Koushi?”

“What?”

“Answer me!”

You jump at how loud his voice was, “W-why does it matter?”

“Just answer the damn question!!”

“Yes!” You started to run but Oikawa caught up to you quickly. But with some stroke of luck you were able to close the bathroom door in his face.

“How could you do this to me!?” His voice was impossibly loud. “First you make up some bullshit story about me beating up your friends then ditch me for some loser!?”

“Just leave me alone!” You cry, tears starting well up in your eyes.

“You could've had everything!”

Quickly, you shut yourself into the cabinet under the sink, just hoping the door was strong enough to hold him back.

**Written Portion Sugawara’s POV**

Suga pulled into the driveway with worry, he didn’t have a reason to feel apprehensive it was just an eating feeling in the pit of his stomach.

The sinking feeling only worsened when he noticed your front door wide open. You were never one to be forgetful like that.

Suga quickly parked his car before running into the house, not even bothering to take off his shoes.

He could hear an incoherent voice coming from the end of the hallway and it definitely wasn’t yours.

“Who the hell is here!?” Suga screams, trying hard not to let his fear show through the wall he was putting in front of him. The closer he inched to the doorway the more he was able to hear the one-way conversation.

“You know, I never really liked you. I could’ve dated anyone I wanted! You just looked so helpless after I broke those ugly glasses of yours I just couldn’t help myself. I just had to give your ugly ass some confidence!”

The words weren't even directed at him but Suga felt a sharp stab of pain as each word hit his ears, it almost angered him. “What the fuck are you doing here!? Why the hell would you ever say that to anyone!?? I think it’s time for you to leave.” Suga tightly gripped Oikawa’s shirt collar as he started to drag him away. It was then he noticed the wide trail of tears digging their way into Oikawa’s face.

“Let me go! This isn’t about you!” Oikawa screamed, trying to pry his hand away from Suga’s.

“You have two choices, either you can leave without another word or I call the cops and have your ass arrested. Am I clear?” Suga’s word was enough of a hint for Oikawa. All he did was nod before leaving. “Good choice.”

Suga ran into the bathroom with his heart beating out of his chest. His stomach sank impossibly deeper when you weren’t in sight. “Y/N?” He called, no answer.

“Y/N?” He called, this time he heard a faint shaking voice call back.

“S-suga? Is that you?” You slowly opened the door cabinet drawer and crawled out.

The silver haired setter frowned when he noticed the tear tracks running down your face. He pulled your small form into his arms which only made you cry harder. 

“Shh, it’s ok, he’s gone now.” His voice was much softer than normal, almost suave-like. Suga’s arms were warm against your bare skin, he was your comforting shoulder to lean on.

I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry” You repeated over and over again, Suga’s arms only grew tighter.

His slender fingers raked lines through your hair, being careful not to knot it. “It’s alright, your safe now. I got you sweet heart.”

“Th-thank you for coming.”

“Always baby, I won’t let anything happen to you.” He placed a kiss a top of your head. “How about we skip movie night and have our own here.” You nodded.

“Just remember,” He started, “I will always be here for you. I won’t let anything happen to you Y/N.”

 Ahhhhhh this story is so fun to write!! Sorry for all the angst! We are planning on starting a new SMAU soon so stay tuned! We are also open to requests! -Kai

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