#240 characters is too much apparently

[patchdotexe]

doip. / 9.13.24: happy friday the 13th everybody

no this isn't two weeks overdue. i definitely did not have the world's most executive dysfunction about this and we definitely are not playing again Tomorrow. dont look at the date. dont

technically this is no longer doip. bc we have graduated from Dragon of Icespire Peak to Storm Lord's Wrath! but also doip. is iconic to me and slw doesn't have the same ring to it in a post title. snakes loving women

last time: Kepesk left the party to rejoin his old group, the Wilders, and the rest of the Skeleton Crew set out on a mission from Lord Neverember to head to the town of Leilon and help rebuild it! i spend the entirety of this session forgetting the second half of that sentence. this bodes well for me

today we're recording the session! and by we i mean nyx.

nyx: my computer go fast. leo: ..is that good? nyx: no.

(jorb wants a video record for archival reasons, im continuing notetaking bc its fun and more accessible for me than watching a ~2hr vod.)

oh nevermind, trying to record killed nyx on the spot. im recording now! i am also the only person that doesnt have spoilers on my character sheet apparently. jorb is doing a recap of the story so far! which is very appreciated because it has been several years. :,D

jorb: [..] big al calazorn-- leo: calzorne??? jorb: calazorn. leo: big al calzone vocaloid real??? jorb: no.

we're on the road to viridian ciiityyyyy there's a building at the triboar trail intersection! it's an inn / tavern. a tavinn, if you will. ah. people are trying to… break into the tavinn? something is Off about them. that's not good. theyve broken in! TIME FOR ALIDAAR TO SAVE THE DAY. oh shit, its zombies. good thing the skeleton crew is here!

dauble is curled up on alidaar like a scarf. perfect position to put him into a chokehold

im microwaving nyx.

arepo opens the fight with a spray of cards! and the half-elf lady in the tavinn is also good at dealing out damage. lets go! whoa. okay these guys might be capable on their own, actually. oh my god lmao. i was gonna say "nvm one of em has a nat1" but then it still hit. that owns. even random tavinn owners are ready to kick ass at any given moment

This Table Has A Hitpoint Bar

(there's a table being used as a barricade and the zombies are trying to break it down. jorb looked up how exactly that works and discovered that the table has a silly amount of hp. and then nyx asked him to put a hp bar on the table.)

jorb: are you happy?! nyx: i am. i am happy.

alidaar backhands a zombie to death.

(im screwing around in combat more and that includes doing things like "figuring out how to use unarmed strikes" and "getting silly with it". alidaar did, quite literally, backhand a zombie to kill it)

oh fuck theres wraiths too. thats not good. arepo gets so startled he vicious mockery's a wraith lmao OH THE TABLES HAVE TURNED. BADLY. WRAITHS SCARY :0 dauble has channel divinity + turn undead! dauble blasts everything with their fucking Aura

Alidaar Is So Fucking Annoyed these zombies do Not like staying down. alidaar does a cool slide under a table about it and climbs up on top to breath weapon! it does not achieve much. i hate it here i need to stop punching things bc then i lose track of my attacks. bc i have mainhand-offhand-mainhand and i got pretty used to the rhythm of it. but also im trying to vary up how i approach combat bc otherwise i feel like im doing the same thing over and over One Of The Wraiths Has Fucking Left

dauble and doorc are just chilling here. wait nevermind doorc is on the move. wait nevermind doorc is still just chilling hes just chilling somewhere else

(one of the npcs is an orc guarding the door. he is now forever the doorc to me.)

THIS FUCKING WRAITH IS 240 FEET AWAY FROM THE INN. ITS JUST GOING. IT CAN GO THROUGH WALLS. ITS STEALING RAVIOLI OOPS ALIDAAR'S MAX HP WENT DOWN. 59 -> 36! haha im in danger

nyx: how many times can i embarrass this wraith before it just gives up?

RED WRAITH DOWN! …blue wraith still on the loose. um. hm Ol' Pisspants Wraithy Will Come Back Eventually [dauble voice] Ol' Pisspants Wraithy ol' pisspants wraithy is fucking pissed

jorb: dauble, you're up! (leo: dauble!) nyx: im using turn undead. leo: NO,

dauble has used turn undead again. alidaar stares at dauble. crosses his arms. does nothing. arepo checks his pocketwatch. we wait Another Two Minutes for turn undead to wear off and this fucker to come back DAUBLE IS GETTING FUCKING OWNED dauble is down for the count! DONT GO INTO THE LIGHT alidaar does a sick flip, shoots the wraith with his crossbow, and then while arepo is getting ready to attack i remember i can still attack twice with this awful thing and miss. fantastic

doorc is the most competent person in this entire encounter.

dauble is rolling well on death saves at least :,D

nyx: [deadpan] you can tell by the joy in my voice. jason: you sound ecstatic. nyx: i am.

ALIDAAR IS SICK OF THIS WRAITH'S SHIT. IT IS NOW CONFETTI. GOODBYE

jorb: you know how trunks kills frieza? leo: yeah.

jorb: so dauble is dying,

alidaar pours a potion of healing on dauble. please do not cease to be dauble is okay! hooray! also we've saved martisha, teegar, and coorag. teegar and coorag are married and i mixed up who is who and thought there was lesbians. there isnt. sad. alidaar is carrying dauble around like a cat. he is Very unhappy that dauble ate shit and is bad at displaying it so there's a lot of Wiggling Dauble to make sure theyre ok hooray, we're heroes! somebody is paying for our lodging and teegar's paying for our drinks :D

arepo has ordered a diet dr pepper.

jorb: she gets you a nice frothy mug of diet dr. pepper.

arepo is socializing while i catch up on note-taking bc i was busy driving the bus diet dr pepper is the famous local brew. its a peppery version of diet doctor coorag has a trident necklace! arepo recognizes it as a symbol for water stuff. i have immediately forgotten jorb's phrasing. something something not faith just lifestyle we are two hexagons away from the ocean.

alidaar is making friends! and eating pork pie. and also shoving dauble's face into pork pie. DURNALD DEEPCRUST. LMFAO

(that's the name of the cook. he's a dwarf. also the return of the "cryovain is alidaar's dad" joke happened so alidaar (lovingly) bullied dauble over it)

alidaar is a wuss when it comes to spicy so he ends up having to use bardic inspiration and a tiny bit of frost breath to survive this pork pie. this is hilarious alidaar has unlocked a tastebud. just one. OH MY GOD MY MEMORY IS STRUGGLING SO BAD. hi. we're going to a place i forgot how to spell to help with repairs. one of the people alidaar's befriended, silla, is heading there to try and do fishing stuff and get a job. also she plays the harmonica :3 alidaar has successfully played the flute! and one of the other patrons is singing along about defending the inn and then getting owned by the spicy pies. this is adorable

dauble is taking everything so normally.

dauble: can we get the 3 bed rooms? alidaar: yeah sure :3 alidaar: [lies down] dauble: [gets in alidaar's bed] alidaar:

ah. hm. dauble has sneaked off to do something while alidaar and arepo are sleeping. that's.. fine. the third bed is for twigbias. dauble is tucking the terrarium in.

aaaand that's the session! \o/

(these are way more disorganized than usual. hoo boy. juggling "being the guy that initiates interactions", "making sure the recording functions properly", and "taking notes" means that some stuff got a bit unbalanced. this is still more thorough notes than i took for the first session of doip at least lmao)

[blackstarchanx3new]

Creations AU, But I obnoxiously over explain it PT 8

Holy crap how are there 8 parts.

211-240

Well it took 200 pages but he cracked like a damn egg in front of someone.

Sammy's a cool dude though.

Again we see characters treat Mike rather, differently because they know something about him we are assumed not to. or at least don't have full context too.

He's delicate and understanding towards a complete WTF situation.

Sammy's continues to be a delicate dude about Mike's horrible horrible ordeal.

Mike's memory is fuzzy atm.

Apparently they were gonna "Talk to a puppet"

Ya know that thing we saw as a plushie earlier on. Sammy seems to think that's weird.

and holy shit it's a corpse.

Haha don't yell in front of the traumatized man in shock at who he's looking at. Sammy quickly rights himself as soon as he notices that.

Sammy seems way more upset about Mike being put in danger than having to help him. X'D He's used to bullshit I suppose.

"Prank" our asses Michael you got impaled.

So the owners know about Mike's mental health struggles and an illness we aren't quite privy too. One that makes it hard for Mike to distinguish reality.

Thanks Michael.

Makes sense why William was so weird. (Still handled that poorly)

Sammy's handling it a bit better in the sense he isn't acting like Mike's unhinged or dangerous and he's clearly not scared to be in the same room as Mike, but is being delicate and soothing for Mike's sake.

Also: Michael has a history of doing "Crap" which is amusing. Wtf are you doing Michael. X'D

You can see why I like Sammy right? X'D

Specifically his line "DON'T APOLOGIZE TO ME APOLOGIZE TO HIM"

Dudes got his priorities are in place. He doesn't want Michael to kiss his ass he wants him to make shit right with Mike. Ya know, the person actually most affected by this shit.

We can see between the two Sammy is clearly the more responsible one and despite Michael's shit talking earlier Sammy is pretty level headed.

We can see why they don't get along though.

Also because heights/panel layouts are hard: Sammy is around the same height as Mike, aka he's short lmao but they're just shown at head level for convenience reasons.

Sammy is literally that one meme of the woman holding the guy pointing at the other woman angrily.

He continues to be responsible by NOT letting Michael take Mike home lmao. Let's be real I wouldn't trust Michael to do smth like that either. X'D

Haha Mike you still aren't okay are you?

Sammy's still trying to be nice.

Sammy that's a weird response...

Oh. He's nuts too!

Mike's response to Sammy's insane rambling about not being sure he's a real person is just

"...Yeah"

Lmao. Seems Sammy has had a colorful past with Freddy's himself. Makes sense he's one of the owner's son.

Which makes his relationship with William very...questionable from an age/how long they've known each other angle. If you were curious about why Michael was possessive over Mike earlier and called William a "Gross old man" now you now. William's having relations with his business' partner's son who's presumably older than Michael but stillllllll wtf Will. X'D. Healthy relationships isn't something this series thrives on if you haven't noticed.

Also: Silver eyes reference with the Spring Bonnie panel.

Fourth closet reference with "Fake Charlie".

The panel where Sammy's face is an endoskeleton is symbolism by the way, not directly "real".

The depths of Sammy's paranoia and anxieties he's not real is justified. How WOULD you know if you were a fake person? XD

What I like during this convo is Mike asking directly if Sammy thinks he's crazy and Sammy swiftly responding with "Not really no"

Ahh. So Mike for sure has an illness that makes him see things that "aren't there".

(It's never directly stated to be schizophrenia because I don't like writing illnesses I don't have 1 to 1, but what Mike's been experiencing LATELY Has not been apart of his illness, as he's medicated and as we've seen: Cody was very much real.)

And we hear it from Mike: He thinks everything he's seen with Cody so far has been a dream of some kind. Since again, he's on medication he shouldn't be hallucinating.

I forgot this was the case till going back and looking into FNAF stuff again: Mike's character trait of hallucinating was based on the player character "Mike Schmidt" having hallucinations/the "Rare screens" in FNAF 1.

Something I've hoped ya noticed: Mike's character arc is gaining friendships and relationships and getting over what happened at Freddy's.

Lol so you COULD see as this purely as Sammy being manipulative buuuut here's how it is to me:

He cares enough about Mike's health to let him have a break at all. He cares about the robots happiness because replacing nightguards is implied to be stressful for them.

He's a "Try to keep everyone happy" kind of person lmao.

Also new character yay.

Lmao. She's weird.

This is Mike's roommate! :D We knew he lived with someone and now this is just conformation.

She looks familiar....

Wonder if we've seen ANOTHER red head who's associated with green....Oh yeah. The ghost that spoke to Bonnie briefly.

Something brought up before: Sammy hired Mike so Sammy is technically Mike's boss.

This art style wise was when I decided: I just needed to get pages done and I didn't super care about the quality (Still feel that way)

the first arc isn't my favorite. FNAF 3 was fun because of our 2nd favorite local hoe behind Freddy himself, known as Andrew Sister Location was a SLOG It was LITERALLY just the game dialogue and occasionally I had fun with Josh, but it differed enough from the game that I NEEDED to do it bleh and FNAF 4 had it's moments again, everything original was fun.

Twisted ones and Pizza Sim are my favorite concept wise because that's when shit SUPER hits the fan. They aren't directly 1 to 1 with anything so I can go nuts.

The FNAF 1 arc mostly ESTABLISHES a lot so when we get to BATSHIT INSANITY nobody's confused who everyone is and what their relationships to each other are.

Anyway: Mike explains wtf they were doing at Freddy's to this woman, clearly SHE'S the person he's been conspiring against Freddy's with.

The Puppet is a fan favorite design in Creations and to this day I don't get it:

I gave the regular puppet HAIR. That's about it. X'D

Either way: Mike can't fully trust the info given during this because of Michael's "Prank".

Keep in mind: They went her presumably to discuss how to fix Freddy's. Which is what Michael and Mike were talking about before shit went wrong.

Sus things:

Michael knows about the "Putting people in robots" thing or at least is implied to know. How and why does he know that? Michael's friends/acquaintances with the girl who put his brother in the Golden Freddy costume. Does he KNOW Cody's fate? How does he feel about these things?

So Mike presumably waited 5 years to do anything about what was happening at Freddy's because he wasn't ready to confront this.

William was committing the "Main" murders that caught Mike's attention 5 years ago. They conformed there ARE more than Jeremy by mentioning "victims" but he came HERE after an incident at a sister location Fredbear's having children and the owner go missing.

Michael woke up from his accident 5 years ago.

Afton has dabbled in making robots that look and act human.

and the suspected main goal from this was to create robots that had human souls/remnant inside them.

HMMMMMM WONDER WHAT'S GOING ON LMFAO.

Lol oop-

Sooo question: Does Sammy know about his sister being in the puppet? X'D

If he does it'd make sense why he was confused Michael and Mike were talking to her lmfao.

Also if you're FNAF savvy you're probably wondering wtf is up with Fake Charlie and all that. Considering Charlie is APARENTLY STILL ALIVE. Huh.

I have a comic planned explaining all that BS with Sammy, Charlie and "Fake Charlie" and the puppet. Because it is left almost completely not answered in the main series lmfao.

Suffice to say: Mike's "WTF" attitude is pretty spot on.

The robot Sammy ran into that looked like his sister isn't the one currently walking around AS his sister, since they presumably dismantled it from his comment about it bleeding and the Puppet is his REAL sister.

And there's just something/someone walking around claiming to be Charlie.

OH.

SO JOSH IS MISSING NOT DEAD?~

SL readers again, know what happened But I'm being cheeky here until we review SL too.

So Michael seems to think Josh is "Dead". That's weird. Why would he think that exactly? With the specific detail of dying from machinery? Is this something his dad told him to keep quiet about?

Michael does seem to know a lot more than he SHOULD.

Lmao our new gal pal suggesting zombies is funny especially if you know what happened to Josh.

Dead people don't stay dead at Freddy's lmfao.

HAH HE RECORDED THAT CONVERSATION.

Haha wonder if that important thing has been staring you right in the face.

No the series is not subtle about who it is but it was never meant to be a "Twist". UNLIKE THE SILVER EYES SERIES

The evidence to who the robot is is made obvious from the start, it's not meant to be an ass pull. You're supposed to be in on it. You're waiting for everyone to notice the OBVIOUS but the OBVIOUS isn't relevant to completely see until later.

You know they're weird the second they appear on screen lmfao. The denial comes from the very idea a PERSON robot is a thing is hard to believe. So the CHARACTERS are in denial this person is a robot. BECAUSE WHY WOULD YOU ASSUME A NORMAL HUMAN IS A ROBOT!? X'D

Humans dismiss a LOT of shit until what they're looking at is undeniable. Mike's still in denial what he's thinking is the 100% fact because holy shit this entire situation is BONKERS.

Everyone in the building is BONKERS. Everything that goes down in there is BONKERS.

And even worse: Mike cannot trust his own eyes fully because of his hallucinations.

Like if someone you met had a few oddities with them your first thought wouldn't be "Oh they're a robot" it'd be "Oh that's weird" and it would build, and build and build until you're like "Oh..."

It's the fucking invader zim affect lmao. An alien being in your god damn class is so out of the realm of THINKABLITY you wouldn't even think that's a possibility.

Of course: Our characters are AT the point where "A human robot is a possibility" now all that's left is waiting for them to realize WHO it is and fully connect everything together.

Mike's still in denial. Poor dude is used to having to not fully trust what he sees/experiences. Which sucks.

HAHAHA YES TALK TO FREDDY. >:)

SHOW US THE BEAR MIKE!!!!

Haha his friend/roommate is a goof.

...I hope the cut to Michael is as funny to everyone else as it is to me considering wtf they were JUST talking about.

AND OKAY MICHAEL HOW COULD YOU HURT BONNIE'S FEELINGS LIKE THAT?!

He's playing on the Pikachu and Eevee switch which either conforms he has 3 switches or 3 sets of joycons at least lmao. Rich little shithead.

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #275

Today's letter is kinda early. Not as early as yesterday's for sure, but still. I'm feeling kinda empty today, for reasons I don't understand. Objectively, I had a pretty kickass day so far.

I went to my job at the bakery today. I went today instead of on Saturday because on Saturday, I gotta go to a bridal shower! I'm kinda excited about it, but also kinda nervous. I wonder how it'll play out.

Today at the bakery, I mostly just made cookies. Lots and lots of them. I put fancy paper on the baking trays, and then put all the cookies onto them in neat rows. And then I put them neatly into little boxes, and then put labels on those boxes. I'll show you some pictures of the steps, except for the labels; they obscure the view of the yumminess.

These ones are arranged in 4 rows of 6 cookies. There's candy-coated chocolate, sugar, oatmeal raisin, and chocolate chip. These racks represent 432 cookies:

I like best when I'm able to arrange them neatly enough that none of them touch each other by the time they're done baking; I did a pretty good, if somewhat imperfect job of that this time:

From there, I put them into boxes. They're supposed to be in two vertical stacks. Not knowing at the time when I packed up the candy-coated chocolate ones, I followed the pattern of the 30-count cookie packages, and put them in a single horizontal row; I'll try to do better next time:

I also arranged and baked a number of the 30-count cookies; these are arranged in 5 rows of 6 cookies, and are considerably smaller than the ones above. I made 8 total trays of these - candy-coated chocolate, oatmeal raisin, and chocolate chip, for a total of 240:

Then I put them in neat little boxes, too!

I decided to buy a package of the big chocolate chip cookies and a package of little chocolate chip cookies; J has been asking me to bring home something I made, and I wanted to see which of the kinds of chocolate chip cookies is better, so... yeah! I didn't notice much of a difference between them, but M and J seem to like the bigger ones a bit more than the little ones.

Today, I also put toppings on unbaked bagels and kaiser rolls for the first time:

Hey, Sephiroth? Do you like bagels? In my world, they come with all kinds of toppings, like poppy seeds, sesame seeds, onions roasted until crispy, garlic roasted until crispy, and "everything", which is basically poppy seeds, sesame seeds, crispy roasted garlic, and salt.

...I still want a seeded pumpernickel everything bagel one of these days. I have no idea why I've never seen any such bagel anywhere before. Its absence seems like it should be a crime.

...I embarrassed myself taking that last picture, though. You see, the person whose shoes are in the above picture was the really tall guy who got me my work shirts (I dunno if you remember me mentioning this). Well... apparently, he is the assistant manager of my whole store. And he came in asking which "service theme" of the day is. Today's is apparently "Thankful Thursday"; you're supposed to find reasons to thank the customer, I guess.

...But like... I already do that. Because the regular practice of gratitude is, at this point, part of my nature. When someone comes up to the counter to ask for something, I like to say what I am thinking, and what I'm thinking, in pretty much every interaction, is "Thank you for your patience!" and "Thank you for stopping by!"

...I feel like it's important to be grateful for little things, regardless of the day of the week it is. So I didn't memorize today's label. And so...

...First, I was focused on taking the picture of the bagels to show to you; we had done all the work for today, so there was literally nothing else to do, and I'm proud enough of what I do that I want to show it to you. And also, I know that I am not anybody important, and so I didn't expect to be spoken to. And also... the radio was on pretty loud, and the fans were buzzing in the background; between all these factors, I literally did not register the gentleman's words, or Ma's words because they were having a conversation that I didn't think I was supposed to be part of. Unless my name is spoken, I tend to assume other people's words are, in my mother's words, "none of [my] FUCKING business, nosy-ass!"

...In days past, accidentally overhearing adults speaking when I wasn't the one being spoken to was a punishable offense - yes, even when they're speaking loudly enough to be heard through the whole trailer or apartment or small car. But also, failure to intuitively know when I am the one being spoken to and failure to respond accordingly is also a punishable offense. Figure that one out. Oh wait - you CAN'T, because the only objective, really, was just to have an excuse to use me as a physical, verbal, or emotional punching bag no matter which fucking way I turn.

...I digress...

...In any case, not only did he have to repeat his question (Auditory Processing Delay is quite literally one of the more socially awkward brain glitches one can get born with, and I hate it...), but also... I didn't know the answer to his question, because... again, I don't restrict my gratitude practice to just one day out of the week. I'm gonna find reasons to thank the folks who come up to see us regardless of if it's Thursday or Saturday, or whatever other day of the week it might be.

...All the same... I'm sure I lost social face for this. I was probably perceived as an inattentive, uncaring, disrespectful, and irresponsible employee, despite the fact that nothing could be further from the truth; I might be clumsy, awkward, inexperienced, and a bit spacey, but I'm also diligent, conscientious, precise, and committed to improving.

...But of course, if I go up to him and try to explain, the only thing that'll happen is I'll be perceived as either needlessly anxious or as someone who makes excuses to dodge accountability; I've lived long enough to know how shit fucking works in my world. And I've lived long enough to understand that as an autistic person... there's really no way to win in any social scenario, ever.

...Sometimes I really resent neurotypicals and their bullshit social standards. I despise disingenuousness and insincere social courtesies. I can't fucking stand it. I don't like living my life wrapped up in a cocoon of "polite" white lies and contrived social rites. I don't like how quick neurotypicals are to pass their sanctimonious fucking judgment and to make weird fucking assumptions even when they don't have all the goddamn context or facts. And I don't like how their assumptions don't change, even when you DO give them the context and the facts; instead, they'll usually just assume you're trying to bullshit them, and they'll dig their goddamn heels into their initial assumption even further, and it's just... it's unfair and insufferable, is what it is. There's really no fucking candycoating it.

So today, my reputation as a "good" employee was probably irreparably tarnished in the eyes of someone higher up in the corporate hierarchy, just because I was caught off guard precisely ONE time, and because instead of practicing contrived gratitude specifically on Thursdays, I practice genuine gratitude every day. And it just... it seems kinda fucked up.

...But it is what it is. I'm gonna have to just deal with it.

...Or maybe I'll try writing a letter. Maybe that'll be better. Despite the words you see here, I can't really speak for shit, especially when I'm nervous; that's also part of the autism, I'm afraid.

Maybe I'll do that. Maybe I'll do that, and then I'll do some Dead Cells about it. It'll be here, when I'm all done:

...As always, thanks for listening. Or... reading, as it were.

I love you. And I'll write again to you tomorrow. So please stay safe out there, okay?

Your friend, Lumine

[glitterandmoondustofficial]

Side To Side

Chapter 240: An Ending of Sorts

Characters: Ruby Rating: Teen Warnings: Alcohol, language Notes: Well, here's the end of the Musnia adventure. I was originally going to make this two chapters, but it flowed better as one. What could be next? Could it even be Law? The One Piece character y'all are reading this for? 👀

~~~~~~

Ruby’s own loud snore woke her up.

She blinked and blinked, as if trying to determine if she was in the same plane of existence as her body. She sat up and yawned, still very tired. She collapsed back onto the bed and stared at the alarm clock. 9:00 AM. She sighed. Still time for breakfast.

She got out of bed and started to pull out clothes from her suitcases. The radio was a great background noise to help her concentrate on getting ready for the day. Ruby finished getting ready by applying eyeliner. She stared at herself in the mirror of the bathroom. She still looked fine. She didn’t look overly depressed, especially when she went through the effort of looking nice. Oh, and grooming herself. That definitely helped.

After she locked everything up she walked downstairs to eat breakfast. She sat at the bar and rested her chin in her hands.

“Elissa,” the bartender greeted her. “What are you having this morning? We’ve got pancakes with honey and cinnamon apples as the special today.”

“Oooh, that sounds great. I’ll have that with sausage and hash browns.”

He placed a glass of orange juice in front of her. “Coming right up.” 

Ruby smiled and sipped her orange juice. She watched as people started to file in for breakfast. The innkeeper greeted everyone. He caught her eye and started to make his way towards her. 

“Miss Elissa, how are you this morning?”

“I’m good, thank you.”

“Wonderful. You look much better than when you came in last night. A good night's rest will do wonders.”

Ruby grinned. She also probably looked better because she didn’t have blood, sweat, and grime on her. “You’re right. After I showered I immediately went to bed. I feel a lot better today.”

“Good, good. Oh, and did you hear? There’s going to be a video of the press conference today!”

“Press conference? No, I didn’t.”

“They announced it earlier on the radio. We’re going to show it here, so there will be a crowd. Make sure you stay in your seat so you don’t lose it!” He patted her arm and walked off to greet more patrons. 

The press conference is probably the official statement for what happened yesterday. She wondered what would end up happening, but she supposed a press conference to address the island would make the most sense, especially if there was visual d en den mushis on the island. 

She sighed. She hoped that Hanzi and Tas were doing better. She knew that Hanzi was probably insisting he was fine and that he could be out of bed. Tas was probably working and getting ready for the conference while he hobbled around in his crutches. She smiled tiredly. Idiots.

Ruby was brought back to reality when her breakfast was placed in front of her. A wide grin formed on her lips as she thanked the bartender and started to dig in. The food was divine, everything tasted amazing. Everything in the inn’s tavern had been so tasteful and delicious, she would miss it when she left.

Ruby blinked, suddenly aware of what she was thinking. “Miss?” She would miss this place? Had she already become attached to this inn and its people? She stared at the bartender, laughing with another patron. She looked over at the innkeeper, with his perfectly curled pink mustache, as he cheerily greeted the growing number of people. She sighed. She was far too soft and emotional for this type of thing, as she was coming to realize.

The crowd grew as the apparent conference time approached. The innkeeper set up the screen and den den mushi on the stage and turned it on, showing that the broadcast had already started. Ruby could see multiple reporters and a large crowd. There were also many officers stationed around the area.

Ruby sighed and finished her meal, pushing the plate away from her. The bartender took her plate and filled her orange juice glass. The crowd started to get loud due to the amount of people and chatter that was going on in the tavern. Ruby felt anxious over the amount of people in the room – claustrophobic. She stared at the screen and waited for something to happen as she sipped her orange juice.

Suddenly, someone walked to the podium. Everyone quieted down as the person began to speak. 

“As many of you are aware, there was an incident in the Old Forest last night. Members of the force were involved in the incident. Here to give the official statement is someone who was there, Captain Tas Simms.”

Ruby raised her brows as she watched Tas hobble up to the podium in his crutches. Ruby scanned the crowd and officers again, hoping that she would see Hanzi, but couldn’t find him. She sighed. That was probably for the best. These people weren’t monsters or famous marines or pirates. Getting shot was a big deal to them. 

Tas cleared his throat and Ruby turned her attention back to him. 

“Good morning,” he said nervously. Ruby smiled. “As our island is well aware, there have been continuous attacks from the Nine Lives over the past couple of decades. Last night that was brought to an end.” Multiple people gasped both in the crowd on screen and in the tavern. “A small group of officers, after a long and thorough investigation, raided the hideout of the Nine Lives yesterday and took the leaders into custody, saving many lives.” He cleared his throat. “Deputy Hanzi was injured in the fight last night and is currently at Tranquility Medical recovering.” Tas sighed, “Chief Lucian…Lucian…bravely…” Tas looked at the paper in his hands then to the side where someone nodded at him. Ruby sipped her orange juice. Here comes the cover up by the authorities. Poor Tas looked so uncomfortable with the conclusion. “Chief Lucian was…” he scoffed and crumpled up the papers. “Chief Lucian was the mastermind behind the attacks.”

Ruby felt like the entire island gasped at once. There was a loud burst of questions and chatter. The innkeeper tried to calm down the crowd, saying that they needed to quiet down so everyone could hear Tas. Ruby turned to the bartender. “Think you could make this a mimosa?” She grinned at him. He chuckled and walked to the sparkling wine to pour into her glass. As he was pouring the alcohol, Tas spoke up again.

“Lucian had been using his position of power and knowledge to lead the bandits to take the food, money, and supplies away from our people. As long as he got a cut from as many of those items as possible, he led the bandits behind the scenes, while the bandits themselves had free roam over our island. Last night, he foolishly thought he could kill me and Hanzi to bury the evidence we had gathered to take down the Nine Lives. He was arrested last night and is currently being held at the station, where he will remain until his trial to determine the full extent of his punishment.” Tas sighed. He looked into the camera with a sad expression.

“Captain,” someone shouted. “How would you arrest him if you and Deputy Hanzi were injured?!” 

Ruby drank her mimosa calmly.

“A pirate by the name of Ruby was the whole reason this operation happened.”

Her drink shot up her nose and Ruby coughed. She cleared her throat, tears were in her eyes as she tried not to choke. He just called her out like that? He didn’t cover it up? Based on the man shaking his head in the corner of the stage, it looked like Tas was supposed to.

“Ruby arrived to us a few days ago under the guise of Elissa.” Oh god, he spilled the beans. “She agreed to help us track down the bandits in an act of kindness.” She felt the bartender’s gaze on her and she saw the innkeeper turn to look at her. “Over the past few days she helped us track down the Nine Lives hideout and was with us during the raid. She was the one who took down the leader of the Nine Lives and Lucian. If it wasn’t for her, many people, including myself and Hanzi, would be dead.”

Ruby let out an anxious breath. She gulped down her mimosa and breathed out. She turned to the bartender who was just staring at her. She heard chatter around her. 

“Ruby? I think I’ve heard that name somewhere.”

“A pirate? Really? They let a pirate help out? She’s going to take all that money when they’re not looking!”

“I wonder if she’s hot!” Followed by a loud smack.

Ruby groaned with her head in her hand. 

The bartender chuckled. “Want more orange juice?”

Ruby looked at him relieved. “Please.”

At that point, Ruby couldn’t focus on the screen. It was all questions and answers that she already knew. Eventually, Tas walked away from the podium and the broadcast ended. The crowd in the tavern dispersed and it was quiet again. Ruby’s head was on the bar in stress. He really just fucked everything right up. The idea of getting off the island was definitely in the back of her mind. Stupid do gooders and their optimism. 

“Miss Elissa, er, Miss Sela,” the innkeeper called to her from beside her. 

Ruby lifted her head up. “If you need me to vacate-”

“Vacate? Nonsense! What kind of innkeeper would I be if I kicked out such a wonderful guest before their checkout time?” He patted her hand. “I just wanted to thank you and that I’ll keep your secret as long as you stay here.”

“Me too,” the bartender agreed.

Ruby smiled. “Thanks,” she sighed. “Oh! Where is that hospital? I want to visit Hanzi.”

The innkeeper gave her a map and pointed at where to go. She went to pay for her meal only for both the innkeeper and the bartender to refuse her money. Ruby sighed with a smile, thanking them before leaving the inn.

As Ruby walked throughout the town she noticed that things were very different. People were celebrating, there were sales, food was given out by the authorities, people were calling for a festival in the park tonight! Ruby giggled. The tension and heavy aura surrounding the island seemed to have disappeared completely.

Ruby adjusted her purse as she approached the average sized hospital. She walked into it, determined to find Hanzi. She walked to the information desk and waited in line. She barely paid attention to the conversations happening around her until she heard someone try to get info on a patient. They were denied because the family didn’t want visitors. 

Ah, shit. Ruby thought to herself. What if they don’t let me see him because I’m a stranger?

“Miss?” The front desk clerk called. “Can I help you?”

“Oh, um, I-I’m trying to see Deputy Hanzi.”

“I’m sorry, Miss, but-”

“She’s with me.” Someone said from behind her. Ruby turned and sighed in relief when she saw Tas. “Hopefully that’s okay?” He smiled handsomely at the front desk clerk.

“Oh, Captain Tas! Yes, of course that’s okay!”

Ruby and Tas walked away from the desk. Ruby sighed. “I didn’t even think that they wouldn’t let me see him. I guess it makes sense. I’m glad that you were here so I can.”

“Well, I figured this would be one of your first stops, so...” he shrugged. 

“You…waited for me?” She looked at him confused.

He blushed. “Don’t make it sound like that. All I meant is that I knew that they wouldn’t let you see him.”

“Ah. Right.”

They found themselves in front of Hanzi’s room. Tas opened the door.

“Hey! You should knock!” Ruby complained, her captain’s rules in her head.

“Oh, darling,” she heard Hanzi say. “It’s no big deal. I’m not doing anything unsavory.”

“That was not what I meant,” Ruby objected. “All I meant is that you deserve privacy.” She huffed. She looked at Hanzi, who looked like he was ready to be out of here. She knew all about that. 

“How are you feeling, Han?” Tas asked.

“Before your press conference I was feeling shitty, but after your conference,” he chortled. “That was great! You completely ignored what you were told to say and told everyone the truth! You even gave a shout out to Miss Sela over here!”

Tas sighed. “I only did what I thought was right. There’s no reason why Lucian should be given some “honorable death” when he’s the entire reason this island is suffering. Covering up shit like this? It doesn’t sit right with me.” Ruby and Hanzi looked at each other and grinned at each other. “What? Why do you two look like that?”

“Don’t worry about it, Tas,” Hanzi laughed. “Now, I hope you both know, I’m getting out of here today.”

“You are?” Ruby asked. “After being shot? They’re going to let you walk around?” Not that she had any room to talk. 

“They don’t have a choice! There’s that party tonight in the park! I’m going!” Ruby grimaced. “Don’t make such a face, darling, I’ve been shot before.”

“Well, me too, but usually I want to do nothing and lay around all day.”

“You’ve both been shot?” Tas exclaimed.

“Yeah.” They both responded. Tas groaned. 

“So, Ruby,” Hanzi grinned. “Are you coming tonight? To the party.”

“Oh, I…” she frowned. “I don’t know…my ship leaves in the morning and-”

“Darling, you’re the whole reason there is a party. You could at least show up for an hour or two, right?” He looked at Tas and gave him a look.

“I agree. You should be part of the celebration. It feels wrong accepting medals for something we all did and you don’t even get a drink.”

“Ohhh, you two are getting medals? Fancy.” She laughed. “I’ll consider it. No guarantees, though.”

“Good enough!” Hanzi laughed.

They dissolved into small talk and Ruby, without realizing it at first, gave medical tips for his wound. When she realized it, she laughed at herself. What had the Heart Pirates turned her into? Eventually, the doctor came in wanting to do a checkup and asked that her and Tas leave. 

They stood outside of the room and Ruby sighed. “I’m going to head out,” she told Tas.

“Already?” He frowned.

“Yeah. I need to get ready for tomorrow morning.” And eat. She thought to herself. 

Tas nodded. “Ruby, I hope you show up tonight. It won’t feel right celebrating without you.”

Ruby smiled. “I’ll try.”

Ruby left the hospital and made a beeline to downtown, where she could find a meal. She found a pizza restaurant by the smell. She got a personal sized pepperoni and black olive pizza with a drink and garlic knots. She almost bought a larger pizza, thinking that it would be good leftovers for dinner, but decided not to based on the idea she might actually show up to the celebration tonight.

She supposed it wouldn’t hurt. She did want to give an official goodbye to Tas and Hanzi. And the idea of festival food did sound appealing. Plus, almost no one knew who she actually was, so she’d probably be left alone as well.

Okay, she’d go to the party. What was the harm anyway?

After Ruby ate and paid for her lunch she went back to the inn. She greeted the innkeeper and walked to her room. She gathered everything up that wasn’t already in her suitcases and put them in, making sure not to leave anything behind. 

Especially her money.

She was starting to get worried she would run out based on the food she had consumed and how expensive it had been to eat here. It was good food! But it was definitely expensive on this island because of the whole bandit thing. She hoped that now they were gone it would be more affordable for the people of the island. 

She stretched and sat on the bed. She rolled her neck and yawned. All those carbs and the cheese from lunch made her tired. She knew that laying down after eating can cause heartburn, but she did take a walk after, maybe she’ll be fine.

She took a quick nap, making sure not to sleep too much when she had to wake up earlier than usual the next day. As she was waking up there was a knock on the door. She stared at the door for a moment before walking over and opening it. It was the innkeeper.

“Ah, Miss Elissa!” He said. “I just wanted to let you know that my staff and I will be at the party tonight! You’re welcome to stay in your room, of course, but if you were planning on dinner, we will not be here.”

Ruby smiled. “Of course, I was thinking about going to the party myself, anyway.”

“Wonderful!” He grinned. He looked from side to side. “You deserve it after all,” he whispered before giggling and walking away.

Ruby lightly sighed before closing her door. She walked to the window and opened the shutters. She never realized it, but this inn had a great view of the town. Had she not been so busy she would have enjoyed it more. She stared at all the people preparing for the party. There were food and game stalls, a stage for what looked like live entertainment, and she definitely saw fireworks. 

Ruby grinned. Perhaps she’ll enjoy herself on her lonely journey. 

She closed the shutters and walked into the bathroom. She undressed and got into the shower. She quickly washed her body and hair before getting out and drying her body. She was drying her hair as she walked naked into the bedroom again. She sighed as she looked at all of her luggage. Her whole life really was just in her bags.

She paused and shook her head.

No. Not her whole life. This wasn’t like before. She had a family waiting for her on the Polar Tang. She had a life to come home to. 

She stretched and wiggled her toes. She leaned over the dresser and looked into the mirror. She was getting dark circles under her eyes, no doubt a sign of her stress and anxiety. Her sleep hadn’t been the best lately, either, but she supposed it could be worse.

She ran her hand over her face before standing up straight. She tiredly stared her buff body, suddenly missing the softness she had started to gain after Law had told her she wasn’t allowed to fight unless necessary. When Law saw her starting to work out again he would make some…exaggerated attempts to make her smile again when he felt like she was being too hard on herself. 

He’d palm her hard stomach and caress her shapely thighs. He would kiss her wrists and nip at her jaw. He was always good with words when he tried.

She sighed.

She missed her love.

She groaned at herself and slapped her cheeks. Grow up! She had made her decision and she was going to see it through like an adult. She huffed and grabbed the sheer floral corset-like top and shorts she had left out for herself. She put it on and then slipped on some heels. She braided her hair and put on simple makeup.

She stared at her put together self in the mirror and sighed. She was pretty. She looked great. She knew she did. She cleared her throat and straightened her back. She put on her bedazzled sunglasses and grabbed her purse. She walked out of the room and locked the door on the way out.

She made her way downtown. She could already smell the food and hear the cheer from the crowd. She walked to the park and felt herself start to smile. It looked like a whole different island now. There was happiness and a liveliness. There were balloons and masks and those dumb carnival games that you had no way of winning. Food stalls, face paintings, live music! Everything was so exciting! Her Heart Pirates would have loved this.

She spent most of the afternoon eating festival food. The fried cheesecake was her favorite. She was also roped into playing one of those strength games by taunting men trying to take her money. She, of course, got the highest score and then gave her giant stuffed bear to the little girl in pigtails who was completely in awe of Ruby. The men were left dumbfounded and Ruby left with a toss of her hair. 

She sat on a bench eating elote without a care and watched the live band from a quiet distance. The sun was setting into beautiful colors of purple and pink. Ruby sipped her beer and sighed. This was nice. This could be a nice life. She wondered if Law ever thought about settling down when they were on islands like these. 

Probably not. He was too obsessed with his revenge. Ruby was too much of a fool to realize it at first. Or actually, it was more apt to say she was too willingly blind to it. She tried to pretend that she was enough for him, but that just simply wasn’t true. Ruby never wanted him to forget Corazón, not truly, but the selfish part of her wanted to be more important. She was the one in front of him now! Shouldn’t that matter? Shouldn’t the fact that she loved him so dearly now matter at all?!

“-by? Ruby. Are you even paying attention?”

Ruby blinked away her tears and stared up at Tas. She swallowed before taking a sip of her beer, washing down the bitterness in her throat. “What’s up?” She cleared her throat before eating more of her delicious corn. 

“Han and I have been looking for you. I guess we never really set up a meeting place.” He looked her up and down. “Why do you look sad? Well, more than usual.”

““More than usual?”” She questioned. She huffed, annoyed at herself. “I was just thinking about my captain is all.”

“Thinking about the Surgeon of Death makes you sad? Well, I guess that makes sense. He is kind of creepy. Uh, no offense.”

Ruby snorted. “None taken. He’s a weirdo,” she said quietly with a small smile. She leaned back on the bench.

Tas sat next to her. “Did he force you to come on this mission of yours?”

Ruby stared up at the darkening sky. She shook her head. “No. This was my idea and my choice. He…was actually against me doing this for him.” She sighed at herself, not sure why she was being so transparent. 

“So why’d you do this?” Ruby didn’t respond. A long silent pause grew between them. Ruby couldn’t admit that she loved Law like she loved the air in her lungs. That she’s going on this lonely and dangerous mission because she hoped it would bring her love peace. “Well, for whatever reason you did leave your crew,” Tas spoke up again. “I’m glad you were brought to us. If it wasn’t for you, Lucian would still be screwing this island over.” He placed a hand on her shoulder and Ruby looked at his face. He smiled at her and she felt herself smile back. 

“Thanks,” she said. She took her final bite of elote. She chewed. “This island seems pretty nice now that it’s not being fucked over.” She sipped her beer and cleared her throat. 

“Well, darling,” she heard Hanzi come up to them. “We’re flattered to hear that.”

Ruby eyed Hanzi nervously. “Are you sure you’re fine to be out of the hospital?”

“And miss this fun?!” Ruby smiled at him. 

“You know, Ruby,” Tas spoke up timidly. “There’s a lot this island offers.”

Hanzi’s lips twitched and Ruby looked at Tas. “I’m sure it’ll be nice for things to go back to a normal pace instead of the crap from before.”

“No, that’s not what I meant.”

“What did you mean?”

“We want you to stay, darling,” Hanzi chuckled. 

Ruby blinked and stared at them in shock. “Stay? Why?”

“Because we like you!” Hanzi laughed boisterously. “There’s plenty of apartments and houses available to live in and you could even get a job with us!” 

Ruby stopped herself from laughing at him and his idea of her becoming a cop. She sighed and finished her beer. “That’s sweet of you guys, but…” she trailed off. 

“This isn’t your home,” Tas said quietly.

Ruby looked at him and nodded. “Yeah. My home is the sea. It’s my nakama.” She tossed her beer bottle in the nearby trash can. “I still have to finish my mission and see my captain’s goals through.”

“Why not do something for you instead of him?”

Ruby blinked. She stared at the two of them in shock for a moment before frowning. “I…” she swallowed and then cleared her throat. “This is for me.” It was a half-lie. One that she had been telling herself. 

The two men were silent and looked between each other. Hanzi sighed dramatically. “Well, I can’t argue with a woman who’s made up her mind,” he grinned. “Why don’t we all get drinks and food and party for the rest of the night?”

“Oh, I-” Ruby started to protest for her wallet’s sake.

“It’s on me.”

“Let’s go!”

Hanzi chortled and they both grabbed the sullen looking Tas, dragging him along. Ruby ate everything she was offered. The fried cookie dough, the turkey leg, the nachos, and especially the fried potatoes with cheese and spicy peppers. She didn’t drink terribly much, never letting herself forget how she used to be, but she laughed as Hanzi and eventually Tas started to drink and drink. They even played the stupid carnival games, drunkenly failing at them and losing Hanzi’s money. 

Ruby noticed pretty girls staring at Tas nervously. She grinned evilly and dragged him over to them. He objected, of course, but he did end up nervously talking to them and even gaining one of the girl’s contact information. Naturally, Ruby and Hanzi cheered for him the whole time like they were some frat boys watching their buddy ask for a date.

They stopped when there was a fireworks show, Hanzi mentioning that they were usually reserved for the harvest festival. Ruby smiled as she chewed on her caramel apple. She watched the pretty colors in the sky in wonder, happy to just enjoy a moment of fun instead of letting loneliness swallow her whole. 

That was until Tas fell backwards, completely passed out from his alcohol intake.

Ruby and Hanzi stared at each other before laughing at Tas. 

“Darling, you’re hardly making me look like a gentleman,” Hanzi said as he led Ruby to Tas’s apartment.

“You’re injured. You shouldn’t have even been drinking, to be honest.” Ruby said as she carried Tas on her back. “Besides, he’s a skinny guy, barely weighs anything.” 

“Carrying a grown man while in stiletto heels is definitely something to be proud of. Is that why your captain asked you to join?”

“Eh, well, kind of. He knew I could take care of myself and saw an opportunity,” she said, not wanting to reveal Law’s middle name. “I’m really not supposed to be fighting much anymore, to be honest.”

“Right, there was some sort of accident? There were some rumors about that.”

“Yeah, I got hurt and Captain forbade me from fighting unless necessary.”

“Sounds pretty serious.”

“It was.” Ruby sighed.

“And the reason you’re fighting for him, despite his orders, is because you love him, right?”

Ruby’s eyes widened. She cleared her throat. “W-what makes you say that?”

“Oh, darling, I’ve been around a long time,” he chuckled. “You’re on a mission that you eagerly volunteered to do for him, that he objected to you doing. You’ve separated yourself from your crew, made yourself go on a lonely journey with no help or backup, all for the sake of your captain. Sounds like love to me.”

Ruby groaned. “We all love our captain, that’s part of who we are as Heart Pirates,” she mumbled.

Hanzi hummed with a grin. “Of course, darling.” Hanzi walked up to the building and opened the door for her. 

Ruby followed Hanzi to Tas’s apartment. When they took Tas’s key from his pocket and opened the door, they walked in and stood in the middle of the studio apartment. Ruby frowned.

“What’s with the pitiful look?” Hanzi asked with a smile.

“There’s just not much. Are you guys even paid well?”

Hanzi shrugged. “We’re paid enough, I guess. Tas just doesn’t have much outside of work.” Ruby’s frown deepened. “He does have family who he visits, but most of his social life is at the office.”

Ruby walked to the bed and laid him on it. Hanzi handed her her purse back. Ruby sighed. “Well, he did get that girl’s contact info. Maybe that will start something up. Now that the bandits are gone, he should be less stressed. Maybe. Hopefully.”

Hanzi chuckled. “One can only hope.” He gestured to her and she started to leave. “Do you want me to walk you home?” He asked with a smile.

Ruby chuckled. “No, I’m good. Are you headed home? Back to the party?”

“Naw, I think I’ll stay here and watch him just in case.”

“Are you sure? Don’t you need your meds?”

He reached into his deep pockets and pulled out two bottles of pills. “Got ‘em here. Don’t you worry about me.”

Ruby smiled. “I’ll head on to the inn then.” She turned to walk out of the door but paused. She stared at the door handle and sighed. She turned and looked at Hanzi. “It was good meeting you, Han. I hope you guys have a good life.”

Hanzi smiled softly at her. “You too, darling.”

Ruby walked out of the apartment and out towards the road. She yawned as she walked to the inn. She smiled. Her stomach was full, she had a fun night, and she would be going to bed soon. She walked into the inn and up the stairs to her room. She opened the door and kicked off her shoes. She washed her face, undressed, and then collapsed on the bed.

She sighed. She stayed up too late, she was going to regret that in the morning. She closed her eyes and fell asleep, luckily all the food from the fair had made her tired. She slipped into a quiet sleep, with a dream she couldn’t piece together the next morning.

She gathered her things as the sun slowly rose and left the room she had stayed in behind. She waved to the bartender who was taking the chairs off the tables and he waved back with a kind smile. She greeted the innkeeper with the curled, pink mustache who begged her to agree to come back one day.

She walked towards the docks where she saw Jaal studiously directing people into the correct direction while Saban slept against his leg. Ruby nodded to him and he nodded back. Ruby walked towards The Sharke, lugging all of her bags behind her.

She stopped at the ramp and took a deep breath. She was moving on, she was finally leaving. She was one step closer to Dressrosa and one day closer to seeing Law and the crew again.

“Wait! Wait!” She heard someone shout from behind her. She turned around curiously and practically jumped in shock when she saw Hanzi, Tas, and some officers rushing towards her. 

Ruby gaped at them as Hanzi and Tas made it to her. 

“What are you guys doing here?” Ruby asked. “Shouldn’t you be at work? Or, hell, resting off your injuries?”

“Did you think we’d let you go without saying goodbye?” Hanzi laughed. He picked her up and hugged her tightly causing her to squeak. “Darling, you are always welcome here!”

“Th-thanks.” 

He set her down and she looked at Tas. He looked nervous for a moment before sighing. “Thank you, Ruby, for everything,” he said quietly. “Our lives will be much dimmer without you in it.”

Ruby blinked twice and then twice more, trying to stop herself from crying. “Don’t be so nice to me!” She swallowed the lump in her throat. They both chuckled at her.

“We hope that you can do what you were set out to do, Ruby, without getting hurt,” Tas continued. “And if you decide it’s too much, there’s a home waiting for you here.”

Ruby’s bottom lip wobbled and she sniffed. She would never leave her Heart Pirates but…this was good, too. This was another type of love. She had found friends on her journey and now she had to say goodbye to them. Her heart was starting to break in the bittersweet goodbye. She was far too much of a crybaby for this sort of thing. 

Both Hanzi and Tas hugged her. Ruby sniffed loudly. She didn’t want to promise that she would come back because she didn’t know if she would. She couldn’t promise anything, so she cried softly as she held onto her friends.

“Miss Elissa?” The man with the long black hair and round glasses walked up behind her. “We’re leaving soon, are you still boarding with us?”

Ruby sniffed and nodded. “Yes. I’m sorry. I’ll get on the boat.” She let go of her friends and grinned at them. “Look for me in the news.”

“You bet your ass we will!” Hanzi grinned. 

“Good luck, Ru- Elissa,” Tas said. “I hope you find peace.”

Ruby nodded and turned to walk up the ramp, ignoring her tears with a determined look in her eyes. The man with the long black hair and round glasses followed after her and started to give orders to the crew. 

The seagulls cried in the distance and the scent of the sea hit Ruby’s senses. She felt strength return to her heart and courage fill her veins. She walked to the railing and looked at Hanzi and Tas. She saw Duhni in the distance and waved at him. She looked back and her two friends and grinned at them. 

“I’ll miss you!” She shouted, hardly believing the words that came from her mouth. 

Hanzi laughed and Tas looked flattered. They both turned to the group of officers who were waving at Ruby. They started to give orders and they saluted them. They turned and started to walk away from the docks. Hanzi laughed and followed after them. Tas paused and looked back to Ruby. He stared at her seriously.

Ruby watched him, pushing her hair behind her ears. She knew what he was telling her without words.

Be careful.

She grinned at him, her own way of saying that she would try. Tas sighed and turned around, seemingly pleased with her answer, and started to walk away from the docks.

Ruby’s grin slowly faded as she watched her friends disappear from the docks. Her heart started to hurt again, part of her wishing that one day she would return to this island and settle down with her crew one day. She took an encouraging breath and smiled at the worker coming up to her to lead her to her room. She could do this. 

She was ready for her next adventure.

[hiccanna-tidbits]

I posted 1,287 times in 2022

That's 200 more posts than 2021!

46 posts created (4%)

1,241 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@gigilberry

@tugboatdaddywolf

@kirkwords

@ancientson

@everythingfeelslike-themovies

I tagged 1,246 of my posts in 2022

Only 3% of my posts had no tags

#rotbtd - 458 posts

#hiccup - 354 posts

#rotbtfd - 345 posts

#anna - 320 posts

#hiccanna - 266 posts

#rapunzel - 248 posts

#jack frost - 240 posts

#hiccup x anna - 224 posts

#anna x hiccup - 224 posts

#frozen - 184 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#the only person he zaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

YO HEY SO I ACTUALLY GOT OFF MY BUTT AND MADE THESE KIDS SOMETHING FOR VALENTINE’S DAY

So I’ve been wanting to make a Jackunzel Valentine’s-style aesthetic using that center pic for a while now (because it is just so absolutely Rapunzel, and who better to win her heart than our very own Jack Frost???), and I was like “well, it’s the February special anyways, so why not?” BUT then I couldn’t fit all the pictures I wanted to use into one moodboard, so y’all boutta get two more of these bad boys!!!

Decided to try a primarily blue-and-pink aesthetic again for this particular moodboard! Added in some gold-ish accents because I just think it looks neat :D Honestly I already knew that Jackunzel with a blue-and-pink color scheme absolutely hits, but I had no idea how much Jackunzel with a blue, pink, and gold color scheme would ALSO hit :O

My dumb cheesy headcanon that I will not let anyone take away is that that Rapunzel absolutely adores pink heart-shaped things, and for this reason is far too big a fan of Valentine’s day XD

Also yes!!! Those are glow-in-the-dark moon and star stickers! Just seems like the type of wacky little things Jack and Punz would be into :D

Pic credits available upon request!

25 notes - Posted February 17, 2022

#4

YO, so remember last year when I made that purple-themed Jackunzel aesthetic, because purple is lowkey their theme color??? (I mean...combine Jack’s blue color scheme with Rapunzel’s pink color scheme and that’s what you get, right?) I liked the purple aesthetic so much I was like...what if I made another??? What then???

Actually really happy with the way this one turned out!!! I might actually like it better than the other purple one I made, and that was already one of my favorites :O Just!!! The purple snowflake!!! The galaxy cupcakes!!! The lilacs!!! Literally the most gorgeous purple night sky pic I’ve ever stumbled upon!!! The ridiculously appropriate quotes!!! It’s like the stars aligned (no pun intended, heh heh) for me to make the ideal Jackunzel moodboard, apparently??? Wild.

Although I’ll have all of you know that I actually had to do quite a bit of editing and color-adjusting on the Rapunzel pic here because the girl was originally platinum blonde, and I had to make extra sure that no one thought this was a J/elsa moodboard XD

This isn’t directly related to the February Special prompts, I’ll admit, BUT it’s Jackunzel and I’m posting it in February, so I’ll go ahead and tag it Jackunzelfebruaryspecial anyhow XD

Pic credits available upon request!

27 notes - Posted February 8, 2022

#3

There once was a lass sent out to sea Ordered by the king to stay away from me A princess should not fall in love with a commoner and a thief. Ha! So I’ll sing a siren song In hopes one day she will come home With more than her weight in gold To take me father’s throne

***

So I accidentally ended up thinking up this big complicated AU for this post I saw a while back, AND I haven’t posted Moanida in a hot minute, so...it’s moodboard time!!!

Basically this is in an AU where Motunui is actually a fairly sizeable kingdom instead of a small island village...and Moana really is a princess here XD I imagine maybe the village grew larger and larger because Motunui was taking refugees from the other islands as the Great Darkness was consuming the land. There’s an ever-present sense of dread, and King Tui worries his kingdom’s days are numbered. He tries to proceed Business as Usual, though, not wanting to cause a mass panic among the people. Fortunately, the darkness and disease plaguing the seas has not yet reached Motunui, and food is plentiful. King Tui hopes they’ll be safe for a while yet.

Princess Moana’s whole life has been planned out for her--marry someone of high standing, produce an heir, someday take her father’s throne. She longs more than anything for adventure on the seas, and to save her kingdom from the encroaching darkness. She also finds herself yearning for meaningful connections outside her family, unsatisfied with the distant and formal relationship she has with the palace staff and her subjects. So many seem to other her due to her royal status, and she sometimes feels completely alone--even in a kingdom that reveres her. No one sees her as she is--not Princess Moana, daughter of King Tui, heir to Motunui, but merely Moana of Motunui.

As the darkness spreads, more refugees come in, and the kingdom grows. Fish aren’t as easy to come by as they once were, and resources grow tight as the mouths to feed increase.

Enter Merida.

It’s no surprise that as the kingdom grows, so does the criminal underbelly. When finery and jewelry from the palace begin to go missing, King Tui and Queen Sina wonder if the staff are in cahoots with someone unsavory. Upon searching the servants’ quarters, though, there is no evidence of any robbery or foul play.

When Moana starts seeing flashes of red out of the corner of her eye, and just out of reach around castle corridors, she thinks she’s imagining things. That is, until she walks into a drawing room and sees a scraggly redheaded girl in filthy street clothes attempting to climb out a 3rd-story window. In her scramble to escape, the intruder breaks the outside tree limb she was attempting to climb onto, and Moana hears a number of branches snapping and cursing in some strange, singsong accent. Both intrigued and amused, Moana runs to the floor below to make sure this poor unprepared thief doesn’t fall to her death.

Moana finds her hanging on a lower limb for dear life, tunic even more ripped and mouth spewing profanities that the princess is sure would make her blush--well, if she could understand any of them. Still laughing, she extends a hand to help the thief in through a lower window. The thief swats her arm away the first few attempts, but finally grabs her hand when the branch starts creaking a little too much.

Apparently this girl is so far into the criminal underworld that she has no idea who Moana is. The thief can tell she’s important--not everyone walks around in glimmering red-orange dresses and shiny shell and pearl-studded tiaras. She’s nobility of some kind for sure. But not a princess.

Regardless of her noble status, the thief girl has no interest in groveling, or begging Moana’s forgiveness. She’s quick to pull a weapon on the princess--a lethal-looking bow and arrow whose bad side Moana does not want to be on. The thief girl assures her that she’ll “shoot yeh right in yer pretty face if yeh even think about shoutin’!” Moana can’t hold back her laugh, and assures the thief she has no intention of shouting. Not when this is the most interesting thing that’s happened in months. Maybe even years--the castle has certainly never had thieves this brazen.

Moana takes the thief girl to her room to get her cleaned up; her parents are too busy managing the kingdom to pay much attention to what she’s doing, anyways. She puts her in cleaner servants’ clothes and finds a cloak to conceal her hair before sneaking her out a back door, extending an invitation to come visit sometime. The castle could do without a few pearls, Moana figures--that, and the thrill of abetting a criminal could make her princess life a little less dull.

Besides, meeting someone who has no idea who she is is a gift too precious to waste.

And so Moana takes to “accidentally” leaving many a palace window open, and many a door unlocked. Sure enough, the thief girl comes back--although she claims it’s only because Moana is “a wee soft little lamb who makes thievin’ far too easy!” Nonetheless, she’s quick to tell her story after little resistance.

Merida, Moana finds out her name is. She’s been on the run a long time--how long she won’t say, but from the rugged, toughened state of the girl, Moana imagines it’s plenty long enough for her to harden her edges and teach her how to take care of herself. She claims she doesn’t need anyone--and never has--but from the way she’s more than willing to have heart-to-hearts with a near stranger, Moana doubts that. It must be lonely in the thief world--always watching your back and never being sure someone won’t stab you in it. Moana gathers Merida has deemed her naïve enough to trust.

Moana is hardly naïve, but if that’s what it takes to believe she’s worth opening up to...so be it.

Merida, it turns out, is a runaway from a kingdom far, far away--oceans away, even. She never felt at home there. She always felt like she was being twisted into something she wasn’t--made to fit an image, with no one caring who she actually was. She took off, flitting from place to place. She pickpocketed enough to eat until Wanted posters of her adorned every wall in town--and only then would she vanish without a trace, off to change her name and her backstory for her next grand adventure.

Moana has a feeling that Merida isn’t making up the backstory this time, but she doesn’t say as much.

After a while, Moana admits her own malcontent. The kingdom only continues to grow as her parents do nothing about the encroaching darkness that leaves so many homeless in the first place. She tells of her strange connection with the ocean, and how sometimes the waves themselves would part for her as a child. She talks about how badly she wishes she could help, and how a strange green emblem from her late grandmother Queen Tala might be the key to everything.

Maybe it’s terrible to think, but Moana finds herself wanting to inherit the throne sooner. She really thinks she could do some good, and she’s determined to conquer the darkness and save the kingdom. Merida, she finds, could be a surprisingly big help--she’s tough, she can fight like no one’s business, and she’s lived among the downtrodden and destitute in the slums and knows firsthand the kind of life more and more will be condemned to if something is not done about the darkness. She’d make an excellent bodyguard, and could even help with law-making and battle strategy--she’s politically savvy in a way Moana didn’t expect.

Things shift between them after a while. There are more and more stolen touches during their meetings, more physical affection. Moana finds herself looking at Merida for longer than she means to. Merida brings her gifts and trinkets from the seedier markets royals don’t usually go to--tiny, pretty seashells, wildflowers from hidden crevices, knives that are usually considered “improper” for a young princess to use.

For the first time since Queen Tala--perhaps for the first time ever--Moana feels like someone sees her for who she truly is. Not a princess, not some otherworldly, ethereal authority to be worshipped, but just Moana.

And when Merida inevitably learns the truth of who her new luxuriously-clothed friend is, Moana is surprised to see she barely bats an eye. She shrugs, says “yeh, I figured you were someone important, from the way yeh dress like a fancypants. But yer not some self-righteous snob like the rest of them, so ah like yeh.”, and then moves on like nothing happened.

By the time Moana realizes she’s fallen in love, the palace staff have gathered there’s something suspicious about the princess sneaking out the back door as often as she does. Moana was just starting to be less cautious when King Tui walks in on her and Merida kissing.

The king is furious. No princess should grow feelings for a dirty peasant--and a criminal, at that. Although Merida is spared the noose, she is exiled from the island for good, given a ship and told to never return.

Before the thief is sent away, Moana is allowed one goodbye. Merida vows to come back one day--despite what Tui says--with her ship stuffed with treasure. She’s gotten a fruitful tip from the criminal underworld, and if all goes as planned, they should be able to buy the kingdom for themselves. Then, no one can stop them from being together--and, at last, conquering the creeping shadows.

In her absence, Moana writes Merida songs. Crude, scrawled haphazardly on palm paper, but full of heart. She shoves them into corked glass bottles before sneaking out and dropping them into the sea. Maybe they’ll never reach Merida...but then again, maybe they will.

The days without Merida drag, and Moana has never felt more alone. Nonetheless, she has faith that her love will return with riches, and the two of them will take the throne and save the land, just as they’ve always planned.

***

See the full post

35 notes - Posted April 18, 2022

#2

“When the daughter of the sun fell in love with the daughter of the moon, the cosmos let out a resigned sigh--this was going to cause problems, but sadly, there were very few ways it could have been avoided.”

No officer you don’t understand I HAD to make a Fem!Jack x Rapunzel Sun Gay and Moon Gay Aesthetic, I didn’t have a choice, it was required by law, someone simply might have chosen to press criminal charges if I didn’t--

Basic story here is that Jaina Frost and Rapunzel Corona are some kind of sun and moon princesses who rule over the night and the day, respectively. They only see each other briefly, at sunrise and sunset, but it’s enough time for them to talk, flirt, and fall for each other. Of course, them spending too much time together could mess up the earth’s day and night cycles, so their beleaguered heavenly body parents have to think of some way to manage their hormonal and lovestruck daughters so as not to throw off seasonal daylight changes and Daylight Saving’s Time and other such important things.

ALSO solar eclipses are Jaina and Punz smooching actually, I don’t make the rules.

I’ve had this bad boy saved in my Jackunzel aesthetics folder for a while now (yes, I have shipping aesthetics folders--I may have a sliiiiiight problem ^^;), but I didn’t submit it until this month because you really can’t get much more soulmate-y than Sun and Moon Lesbians! Something something they’re tied by cosmic fate, heavenly body motifs, and the Power of Gay

Okay listen I know Rapunzel and Cassandra also count as Sun and Moon Gay but Rapunzel and Fem!Jack were the OG Sun and Moon Gay and honestly I think they just Do It Better

Well anyways there was simply no way I could go an entire Jackunzel event without my girl Jaina Frost making an appearance!!! Genderbent Jack Frost my beloved ;_____; I’ve already kinda messed around with the idea of Lesbian Jackunzel here and here and here but you know what??? I am literally ALWAYS down for more actually!!!

Jack just got that Trans Girl Energy, sue me

I gotta say that I am absolutely THRILLED with the sun and moon dresses I found for this and I have been absolutely DYING to show them off, so this might well be the best day of my life :O Also I have searched far and wide and have not found many images that top that sunset, that night sky, and that moon-cycles-in-a-jar graphic, so y’all are truly #blessed to see them all in one sitting on this fine day XD

Pic credits available upon request!

39 notes - Posted February 28, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

WHAT UP @ohlooksheswriting HAVE AN INDIRECT CONTRIBUTION TO HICCUNZEL MONTH

SO I think my main reservation about shipping romantic Hiccunzel has always been the fact that I stan Hiccanna and Jackunzel so hard, like. I simply cannot look at Rapunzel x Hiccup and NOT go “but what of Jack and Anna??? Are they now fated to not find true love??? They’re gonna be so sad D:”

So the obvious solution all along was to have Hiccup and Rapunzel date Anna, Jack, AND each other, EZ

And HiJack and Annunzel are pretty solid gay ships, so like??? It kinda WORKS???

And thus the RotBTD discord came up with Hijannunzel, which might well be the most blursed ship in existence XD Legit poly ships are too powerful. Once you start shipping them, it’s like “oh, this solves SO many problems??? And also if they all got married and got a tax break they’d be OP as hell??? And having a 3-way support system of awesome people to kiss and cuddle and hang out with would be SICK???”

ANYWAYS! I decided to style this so that I put a thing I think each pair would bond over between their pictures because I think it’d be neat!!!

Rapunzel & Hiccup: Art!!! He sketches, she paints, and they definitely draw each other and nerd out over different art styles together!!! Catch them on an art museum date any day. They’ve also definitely made art of each other, and the rest of the polycule. Rapunzel & Jack: Outdoorsy winter fun!!! Like Rapunzel is literally ALWAYS down for a gigantic, Extra snowball fight and you can’t change my mind. Punz just really likes being outside (I mean, she was locked inside for years, can you blame her???) and appreciates all the seasons, but like...overappreciates winter because she figures it could use the love XD Anna & Jack: Sweets!!! I am 1000% convinced both these kids are sugar junkies. Anna has a preference for chocolate obviously, but Jack will devour anything with a sugar content Tooth would absolutely not approve of. They also both adore hot cocoa, and you can’t change my mind. Anna & Hiccup: Dragons/animals in general!!! Anna’s such an animal whisperer in Frozen 1, like. She gets three ducklings to jump into her hands, befriends Hans’ horse, vents to her own horse, and sees a guy talking to his reindeer like a buddy and just immediately starts doing the same thing. Ain’t no one convincing me Anna wouldn’t think dragons were the coolest shit ever, and she would try to (perhaps unwisely) befriend every single one.

Couldn’t include in this one, BUT ALSO:

Jack & Hiccup: Flying and thrill-seeking!!! Like they both seem to be hardcore adrenaline junkies, if Jack letting the wind blow him around every which way and Hiccup literally inventing a funky winged device so he can fly with Toothless is anything to go by. These two would really love flying and exploring together! The adventures AND the poor decisions would be unparalleled XD Rapunzel & Anna: Flower appreciation!!! They both dun got big springtime vibes, and would probably be constantly picking wildflower bouquets for each other. I feel like they’d get into gardening, and try to befriend all the pollinator bugs--even the scary ones XD Love that they both have floral motifs, and Anna’s is a sunflower while Rapunzel’s is...a literal sun flower XD Also love the idea of them bonding over girly stuff in general, and doing things like dress-shopping and meadow-frolicking together :D

Anyways, they all share an apartment and have movie and video game nights where they all get into a cuddle pile on the couch and it’s wholesome and fantastic. They also like to crash fancy parties paired off and then stage dramatic “reveals” where they get caught cheating on each other and make a whole production out of it, solely to be chaotic. Also to snack on fancy little cheese blocks on toothpicks and crostini. Have a great rest of your night.

Pic credits available upon request!

70 notes - Posted May 10, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

Aaaaaaand my top 10 tags being mostly Hiccanna-related surprised all of no one XD

...actually very pleased that five of my most bitchin' moodboards are my top 5 posts. The people of tumblr have good taste indeed.

*tosses candy and breadsticks to the crowd like a benevolent king*

ALSO I was absolutely NOT expecting my sapphic sun-gay-and-moon-gay fem!Jack x Rapunzel moodboard to be my second most popular post, but holy shit am I delighted??? Like that's legit one of my favorite things I've ever made and my god sapphic Jackunzel is so valid and I'm happy it's getting the love it deserves ;_____;

I'm even more emotional because my irl friend who is very Jack Frost-coded came out as a trans girl this year and just. FEM!JACK IS REALLLL SHE'S REAL GUYS and she is POPULAR ON TUMBLR <3

Incredibly fitting that my Hijannunzel post is the top one for the year. Like there truly is something here for everyone <3 Like!!! There is a good chance your ship is in here SOMEWHERE!!! All according to plan. This is how we ALL win :D

[krawlernyannyan]

HSR 1-11-24

3x Imaginary Cavern runs. Huohuo got to add "Aurumaton Gatekeeper" onto her kill list! I also got an incredible armband out of the first run, though sadly nothing else was on the same level.

At least I would say it's incredible but four of its five upgrades went into Break Effect instead of the good stats. It's marginally better than what I had on Welt before, at least, so I guess he can have it.

Also in Relic updates, moving Yukong over to the Penacony set since I'm planning on making her focus on the Mono-Imaginary comp I'm cooking up. The Relics are, alright, could definitely afford to grind for a better Rope for her. The bauble is ATK main stat, and the rope is Break Effect since it's the best option I had (I've got an Energy Regeneration booster that looked nice but the substats sank into Effect Hit Rate, and no thanks on that one).

Out of curiosity I looked at March's equipment and she was still on two purple Relics, so I swapped her over to gold ones (plus got her a new Rope since I'd apparently had an HP Rope on her instead of a DEF Rope).

6x Hunt Calyx rounds.

6x Nihility Calyx rounds.

And the last bit of character work for the night was getting Welt some Trace upgrades (Basic Attack 2 -> 3; Skill 4 -> 5)

Wrapped up the night with a Gold and Gears run. Erudition/Occurrence Die at D4 to try and clear some progress. I was hoping to make some work on my three missing Curios, but I didn't get the events I needed. I did get the last Erudition blessing though!

The run was ultimately successful but I thought I was gonna have to bow out halfway through. Early into the 2nd Plane the Cheating Code fight killed my Sampo and Guinaifen and I had to make do with a Huohuo and Bronya filling in so Kafka could try and solo. Thankfully they were able to take out Yanqing without too much trouble, and I got to revive everybody on the 3rd Plane and I had no issues after that.

Five-Star Fund: 185/240

[stillness-in-green]

I'm not really active in the MHA fandom or blog- but I agree a lot with your points on OH. To be fair though- I don't think weekly schedule in itself facilitate great writing imo b/c Mangaka's don't have the time to revise their drafts (they get usually max 6 hours of time to work on each page- everything from name to final touch ups- monthly authors get up to 2 days for each page), there's literally not enough time to think, reread or to adjust things. But I think Hori's reaching a point where it's not sustainable for him to keep at the pace he started MHA with. So he's cutting corners to move the plot faster- but compressed plotlines will come with executional pitfalls. That's just the limits of the medium when you don't have a dedicated writer/ don't have everything pre-planned. It's getting more apparant now, because we're in the final arc- and people are expecting pay offs to start happening. And in considering that the 'conversation' deku and OH had was supposed to be payoff on OH's character thread? It's a lotta waffling imo. I'm over it at this point- because If Hori is actually doing this because it's for his own health- then I'd rather he do that. regardless of whether I like his story or not- it's still his story- so the priority imo is so long as he's happy with his work- that's what should matter more. It doesn't mean it's above critque, or that we should all like it, not at all, ones reactions are one's own, and genuine in their emotions. There's nothing wrong with expressing such on ones own blog, and tagging it in the fanom. Critiques ultimately for those of us doing so, is moreso for ourselves, either those who want to work on creating our own IP, or just want some benchmarks to keep in mind in reading future stories and anticipating what actually appeals to one's own tastes. I just want to make a shoutout of all of that, cause I can tell some of the people reblogging your OH post don't get it at all and are too busy in the "I'm right, you're wrong mindset"- which is-realistically speaking nothing new when it comes to internet fandoms- but still missing the point of what you were saying. Unfortunatly- Tumblr's reply function is pretty much ass when it comes to anything of length on an actual post though. So hope you don't mind the rando tldr from a passer by.

Heya anon, I definitely don't mind the passer-by message. You're right about Hori's ridiculous work schedule. I complained during the war arc about all the breaks, but now I definitely wish he would take a few more than he has been. Not just for the story's sake, but also for his own--it's been AGES since he had one, it seems like. And in fairness, I can hardly expect him to make the time to do a bunch of research on e.g. the detrimental psychological impact of solitary confinement on his schedule.

In truth, the rant was mostly to get it off my chest. Normally, I save my most annoyed complaining for Discord, but sometimes when it feels like no one else is saying the things I want to see said (about Deku's motivations there, about the PLF arrests, about the MLA's views on quirk supremacy, etc), my motivation overflows.

Ultimately, I've been making my peace with the idea of jettisoning canon pretty much since Chapter 240 dropped and featured a Re-Destro whose characterization I liked considerably less than Chapter 239's Re-Destro,* so the idea of writing off the canon after a certain point and just writing the fic I want to write is something I'm very prepared to do.

Still, it'd be nice to be happy with the canon itself, and I really am hoping to be! There's so much good and interesting stuff going on in the series, really challenging material, and like many others, I hope that this arc is about really pushing Hero Society and its defenders to the breaking point so that they can see that the system they have does have to change--just to pick the obvious example, I don't want to see Hawks proven right that a system that could produce him and Lady Nagant is worth salvaging just because Deku is a good person.

Thanks for the message, anon! I grew out of the phase of being bothered by people who willfully miss my point or read me in bad faith many, many fandoms ago, so I'm not too concerned with the people in the comments doing that--I've gotten some very thoughtful responses and much more traction than I'd been expecting, so I'm glad the rant reached some like-feeling people! Here's to hoping Horikoshi gets some rest, and we all can find satisfaction in the story he's working so hard to bring us.

(*Regarding 239 vs. 240's Re-Destro, while I have my problems with how the MLA is being treated in general, the canon has given me more good RD material. I will probably never be over him calling Shigaraki "savior and liberator" and getting indignant about Shigaraki's safety GOOD SHIT GOOD SHIT. Also Clone!RD talking about the relief of only having to present one face to the world and wistfully reflecting on his group's sought-after Liberation as he falls into nothing I am still shook.)

[jeannedarkterraguard]

Ok, after nearly 60 hours in the game we finally finished Pokemon Legends Arceus yesterday. Originally i wasn't going to talk about it but now that I've seen quite a few reviews on the internet i kinda wanna... rant talk about it anyway

First of all i want to say: Lisa and I really fucking loved the game and we'll probably play quite a bit more in the future but i saw a few points that are brought up all the time by people who apparently didn't like the game

(and to be clear here. It's totally fine if you didn't like the game. In fact there are a few things i wasn't a fan of either and I'll get into those at the end but some of these points are just stupid...) so let's get to it...

(Oh right... SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT)

"The open world is empty / boring" I feel like these are the same people who say that the world in skyrim or fallout is empty...

it isn't.

It's full of wild pokemon, resources to gather, interesting landmarks...

sure there aren't a lot of NPCs all over the map but that wouldn't make sense. The galaxy team has just gotten to hisui and most of them are just civilians who are probably afraid they would just get killed by wild pokemon and the two clans logically stay mostly in their settlements too. I would do the same if i was living in this world...

"The graphics / framerate / artstyle is just bad" Okay, let's ignore that the thing about the artstyle is completely subjective, I personally really liked it.

I get the argument about the graphics actually...

of course there are PC/Console games that look way better. And yes, Pokemon is one of the biggest franchises out there...

but the Switch isn't a PC the Switch is barely even a console...

The Switch is a handheld that you can connect to your TV...

Gamefreak couldn't make the graphics (much) better...

well... they could but that would be like the witcher 3 on switch... looks good at fist but becomes a completely unplayable slideshow as soon as more than two characters are on screen...

and... well...

okay I guess there's no way around it...

the framerate...

I just don't get that point...

no really. I don't understand why people care so much about that. 60 fps, 120 fps, 240 FPS!!! WHAT THE FUCK?!? I mean movies usually have 24 fps and no one complains about that... the average human eye can't even tell the difference once we go over 45 fps (sure there are people who can but we're talking about the average here)

I personally always limit framerate at 30 fps on PC and crank up the resolution instead... runs just as smoothly but looks way better... anyway I ranted enough about framerates in the last 10 years at least and I'm honestly tired of it... on to the next point

"The wild Pokemon just stand there" This one obviously comes from people who haven't actually played the game. Because if you have played it you would know that it's simply not true.

Pokemon don't just stand there. Every pokemon reacts to the player in different ways... some run away as soon as they spot you, some are suspicious and will watch you but keep their distance and others just straight up try to murder you...

"The story is boring / predictable / otherwise bad" I really don't get this argument... in my opinion the story is by far the best any pokemon game had up until now (note: I haven't played many of the spin-offs like XD, Colosseum or ranger) the only one that even comes close was Black & White.

I mean at least in this game the climax of the story actually comes... you know... at the end of the fucking story not about two thirds of the way and then you go back to just fighting gyms again.

Also there were quite a few twists that I didn't see coming. like Volo being the antagonist. And over all the story really went in a very different direction than I thought. For example I thought that eventually the two clans would end up fighting each other and you would have to choose a side. Or that it would be revealed that there is a third clan that has infiltrated the others (that was mainly because of the way Arezu was framed at the beginning and the fact that giratina exists).

The predictable thing would have been if Cylene, Arezu, Coin and some ancestor of Jupiter would have been the bad guys and you and Volo worked together to stop them.

"There is no voice acting" I mean... true... but do we really need voice acting? Can't you read? Do we really want to repeat BotW? (Okay, this may not apply to the English localization but the German voice acting in that game was horrible)

"There are no gyms / online-battles / breeding / insert other feature here" Again... true... but SuMo didn't have gyms either and everyone seemed to love that. Online-battles were in no spin-off as far as I know. Abilities weren't in Let's Go... Breeding isn't really useful if there are no Online-battles (and shinys are obtained way easier by other means)... and that's all the removed features I can think of right now...

"The game is too easy" So this is the same argument that pops up with every pokemon game since gen 5 (or at least that was the first time i heard it) and also probably the only common argument that i usually agree with.

However... not in this case.

Yes, BDSP was way too fucking easy but that is a topic for another time.

Legends Arceus was not too easy... it wasn't unbeatable but there were several points in the game where we genuinely had to stop the main story and grind up our pokemon to catch up with the enemies. Sure if you want you could try catching one of the overpowered alphas and just sweep through the game but that's like saying 'you could just transfer a lvl 100 pokemon from pokemon bank and sweep through ORAS'

technically that's true but that is a conscious decision to make it easier for yourself while in BDSP even if you only fought the battles you couldn't avoid you wouldn't end up too under-leveled and thanks to the affection system you would probably still not have many problems until you reach the elite four, or more specifically Cynthia. In this game we were regularly ten or more levels below the opposing pokemon...

Ok, i think that's enough... i could keep defending this game for... probably until the next pokemon game comes out (i mean I'm probably the only person alive still regularly defending both mass effect 3 and andromeda) but that's not the point of this post... and as i said there are things i didn't like about it so let's talk about those.

NPCs: Ok, I admit this point is probably very specific to me and no one else but it kinda bothered me how many NPCs were ancestors of existing characters from other games...

it wouldn't have been so bad if it had been only a few key-NPCs or if it was all of them but this way every time a NPC showed up and wasn't obviously connected to another character I literally paused the game to think about which characters they could be ancestors of...

so far the only NPCs I haven't found to be connected to other characters are Irida, Iscan, Melli, Palina and Laventon. (I would also put Adaman here but bulbapedia says he is the brother of Mai so that would mean he's connected to Marley)

Side note: it took me an embarrassing amount of time to figure out Volo was supposed to resemble Cynthia and not Volkner

Fast Travel: this is a simple one... I would have liked it if I could fast-travel from one area to another without having to go to jubilife first...

EVs & IVs: Listen...

I know I just defended a lot of missing features from earlier games not being in this one... and if this “Legends”-thing becomes it's own spin-off series that's fine...

but I've seen a lot of people who were actually happy that the EV & IV system isn't there anymore and...

I just don't get that...

yeah in earlier games the IVs were often a pain in the ass but since SuMo and especially since SwSh it is incredibly easy to get competitive pokemon:

you just catch a pokemon, pump it full of  vitamins, mints, EXP-candies, TMs/TRs and bottlecaps and you have a competitively viable pokemon (Ok you still might need to breed them for egg-moves or shinys but that's not the point) especially now that Hidden Power isn't dependent on specific IVs anymore you have no reason not to max them out...

Far away Pokemon: If I can see a Pokemon on my screen and hit them with a jet-ball I should be able to catch them with said jet-ball...

I have failed so many capture-attempts simply because the pokemon was hit but not caught

Lock-On: Lock-On should never require you to hold a button...

just let me tap the button and then keep the cursor locked to the pokemon...

I need both the L/R buttons to switch between items/pokemon but I can't use the L button if my finger has to hold the ZL button and if my satchel is full it takes way too long to completely circle through all my items using only R (this by the way is why I never used the stun-items)...

also it should work if I'm more than two meters away from the pokemon I want to catch...

Illusion of Choice: Look... If you want to tell a linear story that's great but please don't ask questions and then just repeat that question until I say yes... either give me the choice to say no or don't ask questions...

and that's all I can think of... like I said I overall liked the game and really hope that it turns into its own spin-off series but i'm not sure if I would want this to be the new direction for the main games... maybe that’s just me but i don’t like it when long runing franchises change their gameplay drastically...

that’s why i stopped playing metroid after fusion and only started again when dread came out...

i’m sure the prime games are great games but they are not metroid games... they are spin-offs...

and it’s the same with pokemon... i started playing pokemon with the blue edition... in fact that was the second video game i ever played (the first one was mario kart at a friends birthday) and the gameplay has stayed pretty much the same... that’s why i still like them

anyway this wasn't supposed to be such a long post I just really wanted to talk about the game.

regular posts will continue as soon as i find motivation...

[snickertoodles]

Adventures in Oblivion Modding

AKA I remembered all the silly screenshots I took in 2018-2019 and I’d like to save them somewhere.

When I was a kid with only my poor unmoddable copy of Oblivion on the Xbox 360, I would read all about Oblivion mods on the Oblivion Mod Wiki and wherever else. My favourite to read about was house mods. I always wanted to download a billion of those.

So, now that I’m an Adult with a copy of PC Oblivion, I decided to install 255 house mods and completely max out Oblivion’s mod capacity. (And if you don’t believe me here was my mod list, or at least my mod list at some point during this process since I was constantly deleting and installing new ones.) Boredom and nostalgia are extreme driving forces.

But as I was soon to learn, downloading hundreds of mods and activating them all at once is a very bad idea.

This is Valenwood, just off the coast of Anvil. You’re not supposed to even be able to go there. Easily fixable by turning off borders, but somehow three separate mod authors all decided to put their houses RIGHT HERE IN THIS SPOT.

(Mods: Reaper’s Dark Tower or Something, Akaviri Kojima Extended, and The Popular One That Adds a Bunch of New Towns. It’s been like two years okay, I don’t remember.)

This of course was a common sight when I or Wrye Bash installed mods incorrectly.

As were conflicts.

Although when I got to around 240 mods, this started happening. This is Skingrad. This should not be happening in Skingrad. My game would crash right after and the save would corrupt. When it got worse, just moving to a new “chunk” (whatever Oblivion calls it) would crash and corrupt too.

As it turned out I think I did cap out my mod list, since turning off any one mod would fix it. So no more mods for me.

Which may have been good, because the more mods I installed, the stranger things got.

https://i.imgur.com/OR3ZEVN.gifv

Tumblr hates gifs and won’t let me embed one so you’ll just have to click that.

Soon enough I had this VERY ODD panning animation, which persisted even when I disabled every single mod! It kinda freaked me out! I never figured out which mod was doing this but eventually when I started deleting them it stopped.

There was also the case of the haunted Dark Tree icon. This icon. WAS EVERYWHERE. I would be in random, vanilla dungeons or other modded houses and there was Dark Tree on the map.

And no, tcl-ing/noclipping over to it didn’t reveal a floating door or something. There was never anything there. Just a random Dark Tree icon floating off in space whenever I opened my map in an interior.

I started getting very strange weather with no apparent cause.

And encountered odd events like naked Imperial foresters chasing deer around and people attacking cows for no reason. And honestly, I can’t say if it’s the mods’ fault or not because that’s just how this game is.

I soon learned that many mod authors... are not very good at physics. (Mod: TreeHouse by pondereplay, Our Home)

...And also that many of them. Uh. Don’t know how to stop their mods from leaking. And so I had a brand new, separate from normal Imperials race at character creation solely for this Smoothe Smexy Imperial. (Courtesy of SpookyHouse Shadowvale Manor, an otherwise nice mod.)

I also really enjoyed the death house.

Many mods required me to install Cobl. I did not like it that much.

And last but not least enjoy these very horrible nightmare-inducing NPCs. I have NO IDEA why this was happening. Why are their eyes like that? Why are they so bloodshot?? What the fuck??? The world may never know!

[silverspleen]

I posted 1,001 times in 2021

147 posts created (15%)

854 posts reblogged (85%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 5.8 posts.

I added 689 tags in 2021

#art - 240 posts

#horror - 96 posts

#the dragoon diaries - 92 posts

#video - 62 posts

#life - 39 posts

#fantasy - 37 posts

#music - 37 posts

#warhammer 40k - 29 posts

#body horror - 29 posts

#body horror lite - 28 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#i just want to watch mc man earnestly trying to learn asl to woo women he loves while having fangs is this too much to ask?? apparently so.

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Cannot get over Kieran’s tits what a fucking A+ character design like “hey my name is Ryo Suzuri I’m a BL mangaka who really likes guro, psychological horror that is also romance, and drawing animals and I’m gonna give this man GIANT tits. Just HUGE boobs. Serious honkers. A real set of badonkers. Packin some dobonhonkeros. Massive dohoonkabhankoloos. Big old tonhongerekoogers.” and I’m like “yes perfect we should protect this bratty good punchboy.”

44 notes • Posted 2021-09-25 15:40:39 GMT

#4

Midnight Mass, very good, very spooky, like when the thing in the dark goes *eyeshine*

but also as someone raised Catholic that is currently an athiest it’s like being beaten with the stick of distanced childhood memories in my own home.

58 notes • Posted 2021-10-15 01:22:07 GMT

#3

ROMANTIC ARSON.

Be very happy I’m so respectful of my buddies who have not seen the movie yet b/c this blog is about five seconds away from becoming a shipping blog.

65 notes • Posted 2021-10-06 01:26:11 GMT

#2

Some Warhammer 40k lore appropriate pictures of my cosplay debut at Galaxycon! Was quite the trip but worth it. I finished the hat and gun mere days before the con but the Emperor provided.

It was a really fun cosplay to wear, I almost got hoarse from yelling ‘THE EMPEROR PROTECTS” at the faithful and scolding the heretics who dared show their faces. Biggest question was if I was local and if I played, which I had to answer no to... mwop mwop. It wasn’t a terrible drive but not something I’d make weekly, and I haven’t played since college! 

Cosplay itself was very comfy and easy to move in, with the exception of the inserts in my boots (which I have to adjust). I have a cooling vest on that lasted about four hours, but thankfully they kept the con floor cool enough that even six houses later I didn’t overheat!

And bonus!!

That feel when u meet a living saint at the con. 

(many blessings upon this cosplayer because I’m sure they were SUPER CONFUSED as to why I wanted this specific picture but were a very good sport about it)

71 notes • Posted 2021-08-08 03:14:05 GMT

#1

I am SUPER DUPER READY for cons to come back btw, here’s my (almost completed) Warhammer 40k Commissar cosplay!

I still need to decorate the hat (skull n laurel) and paint to PLA bolter I nabbed from etsy. I also need to wash the sash with some stuff, just to make sure the color stays bright and it doesn’t bleed on anything.

The sword is a spare ceremonial one my dad gave to me because he is a lovely, wonderful man who enables his daughter being like “hey remember those tiny, outrageously expensive plastic soldiers you used to buy my little brother and I well I wanna dress up as an officer and I need a SWORD.”

I won’t be able to bring the sword to cons (big long piece of metal BIG SECURITY NO NO) but when I inevitably finish the cosplay I can do a photoshoot with it. OwO

I also have to practice unhinged hateful screaming and loud, obnoxious prayers to Maximize Cosplay Character Depth if you try to run in the pitched heat of battle I will find you before the enemy does.

92 notes • Posted 2021-04-25 21:42:37 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[fauzhee10069]

The Rock-Women, extinct or exist? (JoJolion)

This post is related to these posts:

JJBA Youthful Moms

The Biology of Rock-Humans

With the rise of youthful looking moms in JJBA, has Araki lost his ability in drawing 'old people'?

Araki’s evolving art-style

First, let's review his art-style and art-revolution in previous parts:

Part 1: Phantom Blood

I don’t really remember any significant old people here, so I’ll give it a pass.

Part 2: Battle Tendency

There was grandma Erina and Speedwagon in their 70s, both really looked their age.

There were also Straizo in his 70s and a 50 years old Lisa Lisa, as hamon users, they appeared younger than their age. Initially, Straizo looked like in his 50s and then in his 20s after he turned into vampire. Lisa Lisa looked like in her 20s, her youthful look had a purpose in-story and also got in-world recognition.

Then, there was also Erina in her 50s when she was holding baby Joseph, she really looked her age.

Part 3: Stardust Crusaders

There was this villainous villain named Enya Geil and she really looked old.

Then, a 69 years old grandpa Joseph really looked a granpa, despite being a hamon user. Readers believe that he rarely practices because he was lazy, but there is also wholesome speculation that he wanted to age together with his wife.

And Joseph’s wife, Suzy Q who is also a grandma looked old according to her age.

There was DIO who should be +100 years old, but just like Lisa Lisa and Straizo, as a vampire, he looked much younger than his actual age. Therefore, his youthful look had a purpose in-story.

Part 4: Diamond is Unbreakable

In part 4, there was Josuke’s grandpa, Higashikata Ryohei at 55 years old. He did look like a grandpa.

Then, a 79 years old Joseph who looked very old and frail.

There were also Kira’s parents who were in their old age.

Part 5: Vento Aureo/Golden Wind

Just like in part 1, I don’t recall any significant old people in this story, but there was a Stand named 「The Grateful Dead」 with its terrifying ability to forcefully age people over a large area. Araki had drawn the aging too well.

Part 6: Stone Ocean

I don’t really remember significant old character but I know about the user of 「Dragon’s Dream」, a 78 years old elderly prisoner named Kenzo. He looked bizarrely old like Enya Geil. But I think this part could be the beginning of the aging problem for certain parent characters.

First, Jolyne's mom (whom sadly never named) didn't really look like a middle-aged woman. Although her age was never mentioned, I believe that she should be in her 40s or at least late 30s which should be her youngest estimated age.

Then there was Mrs. Bluemarine, left panel is when her son was still a baby then the right panel is around 15 years later when she confessed her sin. Not only her face remained unchanged (with no apparent aging), the hairstyle and dress are hilariously not changed.

And the meme of Jotaro ages backwards is not without reason.

Part 7: Steel Ball Run

This part also has a similar problem with the previous, the main villain of part 7, Funny Valentine (43/48) in his sexy form (late appearance) didn’t look much older than Johnny (19) and Diego (20), when he should have been more than twice their age, old enough to be their dads. Can you see their age difference on these panels?

But interestingly, Araki was also able to draw the differences in age and facial features of the two females (Lucy and Scarlet), as the former (the 14 years old girl) eventually had to impersonate the later. I also believe that the first lady Scarlet was in late 30s or in her 40s.

Then, there was also Stephen Steel who was around 51-53 years old and he looked his age.

Perhaps in this case, Araki just wanted to tell that Funny Valentine was older than he looked.

And now, we reached JoJolion (part 8) that likely suffers from the ‘youthful moms’ syndrome. So how did this begin?

The Middle-Aged Moms and their looks in JoJolion

Kira Holy Joestar

The first middle-aged woman to be introduced in JJL was Kira Holy Joestar, a 52 years old woman. Interestingly, she really looked her age, a middle-aged woman.

This early Holy also has similar facial feature with Scarlet Valentine

In fact, I think Araki did really well when he drew her as we can see the age difference between Holy (52) and Yasuho (19) clearly, a thing I highly praise because Araki did not rely using the frown lines on the sides of the mouth to illustrate the aging.

Hirose Suzuyo

Another woman that we can consider as a middle-aged woman is Yasuho’s mom, Hirose Suzuyo. Even though she is younger than Holy, being 44 years old can already be considered a middle-aged.

But together with Yasuho on the same panel, she doesn't look much older than her daughter. She basically looks like Yasuho’s older sister than her mom.

And if you prefer '43' to be the correct age of Funny Valentine, then it would make Suzuyo a year older than the president (in their respective timeline).

(Higashikata) Caato

Then this infamous gilf who rocked readers in her early debut and still being hyped by her supporters, (Higashikata) Caato:

Being 52 years old, she is the same age as Kira Holy Joestar, but her appearances and the fact that she already had a grandson makes the readers thought that her youthful look must have ‘a reason’:

Is she secretly a rock woman?

Is she a fusion of two people by Rokakaka fruit that caused her stop aging (an outdated theory from redditors due to her strange eyes)?

Will her attractive look signify that she will be the main villain (like Funny Valentine)?

Besides, during her family reunion, it seemed that Araki no longer bothered to make her distinguishable and significantly belong to different generation from her daughter Hato.

Though I think, there was a moment when Caato kinda look her age just like Holy in her early debut:

What is behind their youthful looks?

I think it is kinda unfair to think that only Caato who purposely looks youthful while disregarding the other moms’ look. Holy's first debut with her middle-aged look was in chapter 14, then Yasuho’s mom, Suzuyo even debuted earlier back in chapter 8 and she already looked attractive and youthful there. Only then did Caato made her debut in chapter 55.

Many readers also don't consider Holy's appearance during the Vitamin C arc, flashback where she met Josefumi and her son Yoshikage. The timeline at the time should be around 2010, because a chapter earlier (50), Yoshikage talked about Iwakiri, a baseball player who was taking a year off since 2009 due to an injury. Then Josefumi and Kira Yoshikage took action to steal Locacaca's branch until afterwards headed to a scene with Holy.

JJL chapter 51: Vitamin C and Killer Queen – part 2

In other words, a year ago (2010), Holy was already in her early 50s! And her face here definitely looks younger than her face when she debuted for the first time. We can argue that perhaps her older look in present time (her debut) was caused by her strange illness, as people who are sick often appear older than usual.

But in Holy's most recent appearance in chapter 92, she looks much younger than her age:

Her wiki page also agrees and has described her appearance that she still having her ‘youthful look’:

Holy Joestar-Kira’s wikia page

So, here is the breakdown:

Hirose Suzuyo (Yasuho’s mom)’s debut in chapter 8, aged 44, she is older than she looks.

Kira Holy Joestar’s debut in chapter 14, aged 52, she looked her age.

Kira Holy Joestar’s appearance in chapter 51, aged 51, she is older than she looks.

(Higashikata) Caato’s debut in chapter 55, aged 52, she is older than she looks.

Kira Holy Joestar’s recent appearance in chapter 92, aged 52, she is older than she looks.

The mystery is why Araki changed Holy's appearance from her initial debut? Why does she become younger than before? Did he do this on purpose or is this purely due to his evolving art?

The Hidden Rock Woman and The Red Herrings

What is ‘female rock-human’ in general?

They are indistinguishable from (carbon-based) female humans.

Their life span is ±240 years (just like the males).

They can be older than they look (just like the males).

They need to hibernate (just like the males).

Their gestation period is 6 months and give birth in the spring and summer.

They rarely (if ever) have affection for or a parental relationship with their children.

Their babies have an average body length of 28 mm and weight of 15 grams.

They can procreate with human males.

As Araki has brought up about the existence of rock-human females in chapter 99, coupled with the possibility of reproduction with (carbon-based) human males, readers have created various theories about them.

(Higashikata) Caato

The most popular theory nowadays is about “Caato as the rock-woman”. Since the beginning, this female character is often hyped as the character who will play a major role, mostly in antagonist side, be it as the main villain and (now) as ‘the rock-woman’.

I think there are a lot of made-up theories and far-fetched reasons created by her supporters, problems regarding the theory of "Caato as the rock-woman" have been mostly explained in my previous post:

Is Caato a Rock-Woman?

Even so, I myself have not dared to confirm that Caato can’t be a rock-woman. However, my post there was more to show how forced, flawed and ridiculous the theories made by her supporters. I am worried that this would be 'the case of bad writing' so I also hope that Araki would not make it happen.

But if Araki is going to make Caato a female rock-human in the future, I hope that he can provide a nice explanation with a story that makes sense and is not forced. Still, I think to make Caato a rock-woman will be the most complicated choice.

We never saw the signs of Caato as a rock-human. In her flashback, she had already behaved very different from the rock-woman, she was shown as a doting mom, she really loves Jobin and took care of him, in contrast to rock-woman who abandoned her newborn baby. She didn’t want Jobin to get hurt, she almost cried (see the beginning scene when he climbed a tree), she was very worried about him. Unlike the rock-women, Caato certainly has affection to her children. 

Then we’ve also seen how her children grew up like any normal human in contrast to the bizarre growth of the rock-humans:

We still don’t know what happens to the baby born from reproduction between human males and rock-women? A human babies, rock-babies or crossbreeds?

Then with the four children of Norisuke IV and Caato, we also have to begin questioning again about what Jobin, Hato, Joshu and Daiya truly are? Are they half rock-humans, fully rock-humans or just regular humans? The problem is: we’ve been following their characters and there is absolutely no hint that these four were somewhat different from regular humans.

If the crossbreeds are somewhat different than the normal humans, then Araki will need to further develop not just one, but “four characters!” to show how they slightly differ from normal humans. Then if Jobin is a half rock-human with Mitsuba as regular human female, is it possible for Tsurugi to be born then? This will also be a problem that must be resolved in the story.

As rock-humans need to hibernate, how is he going to show that Caato need it too? Or perhaps she is fighting it off? A Caatofag has theorized that she uses Locacaca to be able to do that, as her son Jobin has access to the fruit, this kinda makes sense. However, there are many plotholes in this theory that need to be explored.

The fact that Caato became a model prisoner and was able to perform the penal hard labor for 15 years should be contradicting the idea of her as a rock-woman, but a Caatofag uses Locacaca as the reason of why she was able to do that, because in chapter 32, Yotsuyu was able to cure the dog Iwasuke of the rock-disease by feeding it a piece of a it. But what about Aishō? The member of Damokan Group did not use Locacaca to fight off his hibernation, he still needed to hibernate and that was the cause of his break up with his (then) girlfriend.

Besides, if Caato fights off her hibernation to hide her status as a rock-woman, she should have done it since her marriage to Norisuke IV, as her (then) husband just found out about the existence of rock-humans after the death of Yotsuyu.

This meant that Caato should have used Locacaca long before she was incarcerated. Then if she already used it during her marriage to Norisuke IV, it should include the flashback in chapter 64 as well, when she cured Jobin of the rock-disease using equivalent exchange on Higashikata’s land. Why did she use her late mother-in-law’s method instead of Locacaca (which allegedly in her possession)? Isn't Locacaca the fruit believed to be able to heal the rock-disease?

Then supposed that the rock-disease that has befallen the Higashikata family is the result of reproduction between human male and rock-woman, Caato as ‘a rock-woman’ can’t be the cause because the disease has already existed since several generations before and had afflicted the daughter of the first generation of Norisuke (I), Higashikata Rina.

We have seen how Caato handled the family curse in the past (chapter 64) and in that scene we did not see any hint of her as ‘a rock-human’ and her relation with the curse. It will be convoluted and redundant to have Caato reappears as a rock-human and involve her in Higashikata’s family curse once again. In short, Araki will need a lot of build-up to make Caato a rock-woman.

Kira Holy Joestar

Then, there is Kira Holy Joestar. If Caato becomes a candidate for secret rock-woman due to her youthful look (and various wild speculations), then Holy also deserved to be a candidate for the same reason.

Unlike Caato, in which her knowledge regarding Locacaca and her connection to the rock-humans are still pure speculations, Holy is already closer to both of these things (Locacaca & rock-humans). She has done scientific analysis on Locacaca and also knows about the rock-humans organization (Head Doctor gang and Damokan Group).

However, making Holy a rock-woman is probably more impossible than Caato because she is a descendant of Joestar family with very clear lineage too.

Johnny is clearly not a rock-human while Rina, she could be a descended from a rock-human (if that is the reason for the existence of the ‘rock-disease’). Holy can’t be a full blooded rock-human, but she can still be a crossbreed or a descendant of a rock-human.

By looking at Joestar family tree, it is still possible to make Johnny's son or grandson to marry a rock-woman. The rock-woman could be Elizabeth or Suzie Q, but I am more inclined to have Elizabeth as ‘the rock-woman’, she could be a little callback from Lisa Lisa in part 2 with her youthful look and how Lisa Lisa was made to abandon baby Joseph in the past. This can also be a nice parallelism to the rock-women's nature in abandoning their newborn baby.

In addition, Holy as a descendant of rock-human/crossbreed can be served as a nice reason of why the Head Doctor gang used Holy as their test subject.

Unfortunately, unlike the rock-woman, Holy also has affection to her children, even to other children whom she did not give birth to. However, if the speculation is only limited to "Holy as a descendant of rock-human", then this is still possible, because her traits might have been mixed with normal human’s traits.

Another problem is that Araki also has to build up Holy’s children, Yoshikage and Kyo, that they also have to descend from rock-human. However, they are still easier to build-up than Caato's children, as Yoshikage is already dead and Kyo rarely shows up.

If Kira Yoshikage is descended from rock-human, then Yoshikage who has turned into Josuke will make Josuke (the main protagonist) a part of rock-human as well. This can be an astonishing parallel if both Josuke and Tooru (as the main villain) are somewhat rock-humans (suppose that Tooru will be the main villain).

The next problem is about the existence of rock-disease that has befallen to the Higashikata family. If the crossbreeding between a human male and rock-woman was the cause of it, why didn't the curse fall on Johnny's descendants? It only ever struck his wife Rina in the past. Johnny's method in 1901 might have succeeded in protecting his descendants from the curse.

Holy's illness which was initially thought to be a part of family curse is apparently the product of illegal experiment. Therefore, will it be possible if Holy is a descendant of rock-human?

Hirose Suzuyo

Lastly, there is also Hirose Suzuyo who is still attractive at 44 years old, despite being several years younger than Holy and Caato, her youthful look should also be a consideration as well.

I think making Suzuyo the secret rock-woman would be the easiest choice compared to Caato and Holy. Out of the three characters, she has the least development and this instead becomes her advantage.

Caato and Norisuke IV have divorced and this is often used as an excuse by supporters that their failed relationship was caused by one of them (Caato) being a rock-human.

Caato is not the only person who has been divorced, Josefumi’s mother Kiyomi and Yasuho’s mom Suzuyo have also been divorced. Therefore, Suzuyo could have the excuse that her divorce from her husband could be the result of an incompatible relationship between a human and a rock-human.

JJL chapter 71: Hairclip of the Qing Dynasty

Chapter 46 told that “95% of rock-humans are Stand users”, Caato and (allegedly) Holy are Stand users, but what about Suzuyo?

Maybe yes maybe no, but the way she dressed when she debuted for the first time in chapter 8 could be a typical Stand user’s style:

Thanks to her limited appearance, it’s not difficult to suddenly turn her into a Stand user.

The only problem is that Araki (again) has to build-up Yasuho, the main female protagonist as a rock-human descent, but is it possible?

There is one particular incident in chapter 94, as Yasuho has snuck into Higashikata's house, Jobin caught her and flushed 「Paisley Park」 down the toilet, breaking both Yasuho and her Stand’s body in the process.

JJL chapter 94: The Wonder of You (Your Miraculous Love) – part 11

Seeing how her body was in the process of breaking apart, some readers pointed out that there is a resemblance to the rock-humans' body while breaking apart.

JJL chapter 32 & JJL chapter 42

Others simply assumed that Yasuho's breaking body is the effect of her breaking Stand as well.

I am also more inclined towards the second opinion, in which her body is breaking apart simply because of her breaking Stand. But the interpretation of this picture is still free, so it would be easy for Araki if he suddenly wants to decide that the reason of Yasuho's breaking body is due to her being a part of rock-human.

It is also fortunate that we have not seen normal humans and their Stands break apart like Yasuho and her 「Paisley Park」.

Perhaps, making Yasuho a part of rock-human could be the reason why Tooru dated her. I've always felt there must be something behind this. Tooru as the person behind HD gang can't possibly date Yasuho without reason.

Even though they had broken up, Tooru is still eager to to rekindle his relationship with Yasuho, but chapter 97 proves that his reason for that was not simply that he still loved her. There must be something that he wants from her and will take advantage of her.

But back to the issue of the origin of the Higashikata’s family curse, if the crossbreeding is the cause, why doesn't it befall to Yasuho too?

Once again, it is fortunate that we got the flashback of Higashikata Rina as the female affected by rock-disease. She became symptomatic as adult, in her late 20s. Yasuho is a female and she is still 19, it is possible if the rock-disease had not yet befallen her (suppose that she is a crossbreed).

The real problem is that Suzuyo has also shown that she cares to her daughter Yasuho, again, the opposite trait with the rock-women.

JJL chapter 24 & JJL chapter 71

Though she is not on Holy's level… or the level of Caato to Jobin, at least she is trying to show her love to Yasuho.

Then how about her job? Being a single mom should have demanded Suzuyo to have a job to support Yasuho and her life. We've never seen what kind of job Suzuyo has, we've only seen in her debut that she brought a man home from a club. Was this part of her job as a hostess or she simply had fun?

In her flashback of chapter 71, we have seen Suzuyo who was currently receiving a call, was the phone related to her job?

Suppose that it was related to her job, “Oh really? Sounds exciting, I’ll write that down”… an idea? Or was it a new job offer? Freelancing?

It is very fortunate that it is still very hard to determine of Suzuyo's actual career, Araki just has to give her a career that is suitable for rock-human if he wants to make her a rock-human.

Crossbreeding and developing affection in rock-women(?)

Apparently, these three women share the same problems, that they have affection for their children, the opposite trait of rock-women in chapter 99. The mother who had more of a similar nature to rock-women is (actually) Kujo Kiyomi, Josefumi’s mother. She almost left a drowning Josefumi, though the guilt overcame her in the end.

JJL chapter 52: Vitamin C and Killer Queen – part 3

Even so, Josefumi still felt that his mother had abandoned him. Could it be that she abandoned him again after the drowning event and that’s why Josefumi had a lot of respect for Holy as his mother figure? Or maybe it was only to that particular moment, but it was so engraved on Josefumi's memory that he hated his own mother?

And also remember that Kujo Kiyomi has been divorced. Too bad we never saw her again in her middle-aged, but I believe that if she will reappear, she will have that 'youthful look' like any others.

Regarding Caato and Suzuyo, suppose that they are rock-women, it is possible that they may develop affection for their children as a result of their copulation with human males.

To be honest, I think that Caato's role is more of a comparison to the other Higashikata mothers, so it would be too much if she is a rock-woman as I explained in my previous post.

However regarding Suzuyo, I think that her efforts to take care and love Yasuho are like a rock-woman learning to be a 'mother'.

JJL chapter 24: Paper Moon Deception – part 2

Perhaps it is just me, but Suzuyo’s response in that scene is a bit weird. She offered Yasuho to cook for her while playing video games, something that pretty normal in family dynamic. But then, Yasuho declined and said she was just going to go out again. Annoyed by her daughter response, she brought up Yasuho’s annoying attitude and likened her to her ex-husband (Yasuho’s father).

When Yasuho remarked that she was in a rush and didn’t have a time to be lectured her, Suzuyo out-of-nowhere brought up whether she wasn't motherly to Yasuho, something that I think was not quite related in a conflict. Because I have also experienced a similar conflict with my mother, but she wouldn't suddenly bring up of her being motherly and just straightly scolded me.

It was as if she said that “I’m trying to be a good mother for you, because I’m not like the other rock-women out there.”

JJL chapter 71: Hairclip of the Qing Dynasty

Her bad-mouthing her ex-husband (Yasuho’s dad) felt like she was trying to keep Yasuho away from her father. Besides, her words also indicate possessiveness towards her daughter.

Rock-humans in general have little to no relationship with their children, unlike (carbon-based) humans. So maybe Suzuyo is trying hard to get close to her daughter Yasuho while trying to keep her away from her father, because (perhaps) in her perspective, a close relationship between fellow humans will always be easier to achieve compared to the rock-humans.

Conclusion

At first I thought that ‘the youthful moms’ in JoJolion is just a deliberate artistic choice on behalf of Araki to make the characters more attractive, but what if it turns out to have a purpose?

Added with the recent chapter (99) which hinted the existence of rock-women, what if Araki wanted to make us wonder, is it true that currently there is a rock-woman among his characters? Which one?

I don't know why but I feel that possibility may lie in some middle-aged mother characters that look younger than their actual age. I also became suspicious, why Araki changed Holy’s appearance in chapter 92, that she significantly looks younger than when she debuted?

Especially with the reemergence of the theory about Caato as a rock-woman which becomes popular once again.

Of course I am more certain that a rock-woman will appear in the form of a flashback which will explain the origin of Higashikata’s family curse. It would also fit into the plausible theory of ‘reproduction’ that has been created by u/Mamezuku on reddit. But what if a rock-woman would appear in the present time as well? Who is she? Will it be Caato?

Of the three candidates I suspect, Caato will be the most difficult choice and requires a lot of build-up (and possibly retconing here and there). Holy highly unlikely will be a full blooded rock-woman, but it’s possible to make her a descendant of a rock-human and the build-up will be slightly easier. Suzuyo (Yasuho’s mom) will be an unexpected choice but she will be the easiest and least complicated to be built-up, the only big challenge is about the build-up of her daughter Yasuho as a crossbreed.

[mobius-prime]

240. Sonic the Hedgehog #172

Truth of the Heart

Writer: Ian Flynn Pencils: Tracey Yardley! Colors: Jason Jensen

This story is a great example of the visual appeal of Ian's storytelling. When it comes to comics, as far as I'm aware, it's the writer who sort of storyboards and lays out the general flow of the panels, almost like directing shots in a movie. Indeed, the flow of this story is very cinematic, with a lot of focus on movement and camera angles, and of course Tracy's excellent artwork only serves to bring the story to life. Boy, it's nice to be praising things for a change instead of constantly criticizing!

We open to find Amy viciously attempting to attack a confused Fiona with her hammer. Fiona seems genuinely baffled at first, but then Amy recounts how she had found Tails hanging out outside when looking for Sonic, and learned the thing that's been weighing so heavily on him ever since his encounter with Sleuth Dawg - Fiona has indeed been cheating on Sonic with Scourge. Wow, never saw that one coming!

This is why you avoid having these kinds of conversations out in the open, Fiona. Sonic gently dismisses Amy after thanking her for looking out for him, and while she's smitten by the look in his deep green eyes Sonic leads Fiona into the treeline to discuss things, unaware that Tails is circling overhead listening in. Fiona acts offended that Sonic would believe "a couple of kids" over her, but Sonic firmly states that he trusts them, and her recent disappearances have only served to make him more suspicious. She tries to point to the instances where she's helped the Freedom Fighters recently, but Sonic continues to insist that those don't negate what seems to be currently happening, and furthermore, he did notice that she only expressed attraction to him after Scourge originally flirted with her. Fiona evades his questions, saying she tried to stick to the "hero thing" for him and wanted to find some middle ground. Before he can ask her what she means, an all-too-familiar voice interrupts them.

Welp! Unfortunately, it seems that Fiona couldn't bring herself to give up her less-than-virtuous lifestyle after all, and has found something more exciting in Scourge. It's a shame, and I for one am torn on this. For one, I really liked the idea of having a character who explicitly had a shady background learning to become more heroic and let go of their old ways of thinking, but on the other, Fiona as a character was in danger of starting to become boring. She didn't have much else that defined her apart from her past, and if she fully gave all that up, she would end up as just another generic Freedom Fighter with eyes for Sonic, as though a high percentage of the female cast doesn't already. As it stands, I do actually support this decision to turn her into a bit of a villain, as she became much more interesting and fun as a character following this issue. Tails clearly doesn't agree though, because he suddenly dives in from the air to beg Fiona to reconsider.

Oh, boy, Fiona. You just did the one thing that Sonic will never, ever tolerate - you hurt one of his friends. Tails fights back his tears and simply tells Sonic to "just get 'em," and Sonic, needing no more encouragement, rushes at Fiona, who irritably tells Sonic that he's her prime example of not being able to rely on anyone - apparently, despite what she said before, she still isn't fully over his leaving her behind in prison so many years ago. However, Scourge intercepts Sonic before he can get to Fiona, and while they run and fight, he smugly explains that he's realized he's more into Fiona than he'd thought, since he likes that she chooses to be dark instead of being that way from the get-go. Furthermore, he believes he's figured out just why Sonic hates him so much, aside from his stealing of his girlfriend.

Ooh, struck a nerve there, Scourge? Fiona interrupts the moment of reflection with a swift kick to Sonic's midsection, and when Amy shows up to help in the fight, the two villains decide they've had enough for one day, and leave via warp ring, with Fiona blowing Sonic one last kiss. Sonic checks on Tails, who despite feeling awful, is still firm in his trust in Sonic and his other friends, something which Sonic is quick to reaffirm for him. As Tails heads off to get some comfort from his parents, Antoine arrives and is surprised at Sonic's revelation that Fiona betrayed them, and this seems to strike something aflame in his heart. Ranting about their enemies growing in numbers, he requests that Sonic and Amy follow him, as he's about to do something that he feels he should have done long ago…

Worth the Effort

Writer: Ian Flynn Pencils: Tania Del Rio Colors: Jason Jensen

Early one morning, Julie-Su wakes Amy up for a day of training, though Amy isn't quite so thrilled with the early hour. She sluggishly trails along behind Julie-Su as they head for an open space, and fails to look where she's going, resulting in a bit of a rude re-awakening.

I mean, I feel your pain, Amy. I don't like waking up early either. The two spend the day training together, with Julie-Su instructing Amy in battle techniques, and during a break, Julie-Su asks why Amy came to her for personal training in the first place. Of course, we know why, don't we?

Aw, I actually like the reference to the multiple scenes Julie-Su and Knuckles have had both alone and together on that specific dock. It's kind of been a setpiece in itself for their budding relationship, especially back during the KtE sister series. Julie-Su tries to convince Amy to focus on her training for herself first and foremost, but even though Amy agrees that she wants this for herself, somehow she still brings the conversation right back around to Sonic. Just then, the subject of her infatuation arrives along with Knuckles and Tails, inviting the two of them out to join in on a mission against Eggman. Amy of course happily accepts, and thinks to herself once again about how she'll show Sonic one day that she's good enough for him.

Though I'm sure a lot of readers are thoroughly sick of scores of female characters all trying to impress Sonic and throwing themselves at him by now - so much romance in what's supposed to be an action series! - I do like that this actually acknowledges Amy's reasons behind her crush. In basically all canons, she's not just interested in becoming Sonic's girlfriend for its own sake - she wants to actively impress him, and earn his respect. I see a lot of people try to characterize her as this stalkerish, borderline-yandere freak who'd just as soon kidnap Sonic as ask him on a date, but that's just not Amy. Before anything else, she wants Sonic to respect her and value her as more than just a love interest - she knows she has the potential to become a fighting force to be reckoned with in her own right, and also knows that that's exactly the kind of person Sonic tends to be attracted to. Really, as we'll see in future issues, the comics do Amy very right, and I really appreciate that, as I feel she's often severely misunderstood and wrongly characterized.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 243: Happy New Year

Previously on BnHA: The government was all “shit what are we going to do about Shigaraki Tomura and his Actual Fucking Army of villains, oh I know, why don’t we draft some child soldiers” and so they brought back internships and made them mandatory. Class 1-A had the Christmas party to end all Christmas parties, featuring 20 unique custom-tailored Santa costumes, enough chicken to feed Tomura’s entire Actual Fucking Army, and one (1) giant sword that somehow made its way into the hands of Eri, First of Her Name. Tidings of comfort and joy were had by all, and to cap things off, Shouto invited Bakugou (who by the way was having a lot of thoughts about how Best Jeanist asked him to reveal his new hero name the next time they met, because Horikoshi knows what kind of angst I like) and Deku to come intern with him at the motherfucking Endeavor Hero Agency and make everyone’s OT3 dreams come true.

Today on BnHA: Deku visits his mom on New Year’s Eve and the two of them ball out at the Make Me Cry Olympics. There is a whole plotline all about Hawks getting coffee, and I’m trying to figure out if it’s really just coffee or if THE ENTIRE SERIES SECRETLY HINGES ON THIS ONE SCENE omg. The next day at the Endeavor Hero Agency, Endeavor is all, “welcome! fuck you,” which may or may not be setting the tone for this whole arc. There’s a brief flashback to All Might congratulating his sons on their internship and saying foreshadowing things like “your new quirks probably won’t go fucking apeshit again” and “you’re a lot like Endeavor, this internship will be good for you!” Back in the present, Endeavor dramatically leaps over a railing and blasts off to go fight Monk Gyatso with the disaster trio hot on his heels. Hawks then shows up out of nowhere and the text is literally all, “WHAT’S HAWKS DOING HERE?” and seriously though. What are any of us even doing here. This arc has only just started and I already have no idea what’s going on and I fucking love it.

(All comments are my unspoiled reactions from my initial readthrough of the chapter. I did a quick edit for grammar and clarity immediately afterward, and added a few ETAs in the process, but aside from that there are no changes.)

loooool

is she going to be all right

-- also! WE’RE GOING TO SEE THE PARENTS AGAIN HOMG YES. HORIKOSHI YOU’RE ON FIRE WEEK AFTER WEEK YOU MAD DOG

(ETA: literally the only way he could end his streak was by going on fucking hiatus. son of a.)

oh shit I forgot that they had the cover and a color page this week! this is great

by the light (ba da dum ba da dum) of the silvery moon (ba da dum ba da dum) I want to spoon -- holy shit, what. do you ever look up the lyrics to a song you vaguely remember from your childhood twenty-five years later in order to make a bizarre joke in a manga recap and you’re like “!!?!?” lol what the fuck. this shit is from 1909. old timey pervs

anyways this may be my favorite Jump cover ever. colors are amazing, art is super cute, it’s the whole package. Aoyama and Iida are killing me. I need that Iida ball in real life, I would seriously pay real money

and now the color spread!

where can I buy that U.A. hoodie. I’m not kidding, I need it in my life. the U.A. logo is great because it doesn’t scream “LOOK AT ME I’M AN ANIME FAN” unless the other person also watches said anime, in which case that’s awesome because the two of you can become best friends and bond over how you’re both nerds with impeccable taste

Kacchan out here holding a fucking root beer like we don’t all know the truth. yeah tough guy you go to bed at eight-thirty and you’re third in your class at the top high school in Japan. but you keep on trying to preserve that image. also this kid is singlehandedly making wifebeaters high fashion I swear to god. it’s a talent

Kirishima looks so good in v-neck shirts yes you go Kiri!

Mina is here!! Mina is part of the main character squad now, everyone! that’s right!! Iida Tenya was booted out after he refused to partake in this photo shoot due to moral outrage over the fact that they’re shooting this at what appears to be a crime scene. a vacuum cleaner was murdered in cold blood omg

Ochako not smiling is such an unusual look for her (and Mina and Kirishima too for that matter) but holy shit. I like it

TODOROKI I’M TRYING TO REACH THROUGH THE COMPUTER SCREEN AND UNBUTTON YOUR TOP BUTTON. HOLY SHIT HOW CAN YOU EVEN BREATHE. RELAX

so the new character book is out October 4, eh? I think we knew this already, but maybe this time the date will actually stick in my mind. anyways, so doing the math, that leaves Kacchan three more chapters (including this one) to reveal his hero name. boy you have a deadline get to work!

YESSSSSSSSSSS

MY NEW YEAR’S ARC MAY NOT BE HAPPENING, BUT AT LEAST WE STILL GET TO SEE THEM RING IN 2217 HOORAY

damn that’s a lot of narration in the first panel

“while accompanied by guards” oh shit. and yet, I get it. I like how they refer to it as “the chain of events that led us to move into the dorms” rather than “that time Bakugou got fucking kidnapped.” they are not letting that happen again. good

IZUMAMA YESSSS

at least he’s being open with her about it! come on Inko, push through this. he’s already got 240 other things he’s still not telling you, don’t give him any more reason to keep being secretive

oh my god now Deku is like “anyways do you remember Eri?” and he’s reaching into his pocket now, holy shit?? WHATEVER HE’S PULLING OUT IS GOING TO BE SO FUCKING CUTE, ISN’T IT

oH MY GOD!!!!!

THIS SON OF A BITCH IS JUST GONNA KEEP ON AMASSING A COLLECTION OF ADORABLE AND HILARIOUS LITTLE KID LETTERS, ISN’T HE. LISTEN HERE DEKU YOU MOTHERFUCKER!! THAT PIC OF “MISTER DEKU” IS -- I’M -- !!!!

“I was hardly able to do anything for her” ?? you SAVED HER LIFE?? you BODYSLAMMED OVERHAUL INTO THE GROUND?? YOU GOT US ALL OUT OF THAT ACCURSED BASEMENT? listen here you modest little shit you need to stop doing this. you even taught her the true meaning of quirks for crying out loud. you are the actual best

god the way he is staring at this letter is giving me too many feels for a Thursday afternoon. these are like Saturday night feels. this manga never goes easy on me

same Inko same

oh my god now Inko is launching into a speech about Deku’s sad childhood I can’t with this, MA’AM PLEASE

“covered in bruises” oh my problematic ship. oh this nuanced manga with its intricate layers of feels. this is the lasagna of mangas

hello page 3 is just one big assault on all my emotions and I would like to report this to someone help I am being besieged

oh my fucking god Midoriya family. I’m trying to process all of this and just!!

like. she’s known all this time how big his heart is and that he doesn’t care about himself and just wants to protect others. but for the longest time he was powerless to do it. but still he kept dreaming and she kept looking on waiting for that day he’d finally give up, ready for his heart to break, bracing herself. and then this miracle happened and he got a quirk and all his hopes came true and he got to go to his dream school, and now he’s training to become a hero just like he always wanted

and everything special she always saw about her boy is shining so brightly now, and everyone can see it, and he’s become so strong. but also he’s growing up so fast. he’s gone from being someone she had to protect to someone who’s strong enough to protect not only her, but everyone. strong enough to carry the world on his shoulders

just. can you even imagine. how much pride she must feel, in addition to the relief she’s expressing now. but also the loneliness of knowing she can’t hold on to her baby boy forever and he’s on the verge of going out into the world and leaving her. in fact he basically already has. anyways I came here today for some Three Musketeers antics and now I’m sitting her with Izumama empty nest feels, what is this

-- yo, what?? he’s starting the internship on New Year’s Fucking Day? U.A. doesn’t fuck around, goddamn

(ETA: seriously, no rest for the weary here. both Endeavor and Hawks are as busy as ever too. poor Hawks, who never wanted to be a hero to begin with, spent New Year’s Eve undercover trying to drown his sorrows in sugary coffee. of course, Jeanist is spending his New Year’s either in hiding or dead, so.)

anyways so he’s bidding his mom goodbye and getting onto a bus, and he’s all bundled up in a scarf but can’t be assed to wear a jacket, apparently. whatever Deku

AHHHH WHAT IS THIS NOW

AND OH MY GOD LOOK WHERE HE IS

THE LEAGUE OF PLIFF’S HEADQUARTERS AT THE OL’ OVERLOOK HOTEL. watch out for the elevators. Toga probably really likes them though

“where did you run off to number 2” um, he’s still a top ranked pro hero? what, do they just expect him to never do his job ever again? even if they think he’s on their side, they must realize that he needs to maintain his so-called cover

anyways, fucking Slidin’ Go is back, guys. when is someone going to punch this slippery bitch in the face

wow he’s seriously chewing Hawks out for flying off without permission. can someone please just deck this mouthbreather already

oh my god

this motherfucker really truly believes he is Hawks’s senpai. imagine having the same power as a fucking banana peel, and being so deluded you actually think you outrank a double agent of indispensable value, who also just so happens to be Dabi’s best friend, and oh yes, THE NUMBER TWO FUCKING HERO. I don’t even know where to begin with you, Slidin’ Go

oh snap but he’s immediately being called out on his BS lol this is great

twenty microdevices?? holy shit. that’s gonna make it really difficult for him to actually report back to the heroes

maybe if the PSC gives him twenty of their own little spy cams. then the only challenge is for him to try and remember which are which

lmao look at this little metaphorical drawing

isn’t this the Hyrule Castle level from Breath of the Wild

anyways don’t mind me, I’m just sitting here trying to figure out if there’s a double meaning to these two panels

is Skeptic just really bad at making small talk, or is there something here that I’m totally missing?? did he witness something during Hawks’s coffee run?

(ETA: this seriously reads to me as some kind of coded threat, but it makes no sense given the rest of the conversation. he goes on and on about how useful Hawks will be in helping them spy on the heroes, but then calls attention to him sneaking out to buy a single can of coffee. in conclusion I am probably overthinking this way too much, but it’s odd. maybe he really is just trying to be nice and coming off as weird and creepy.)

now we’re flashing back to Hawks’s last report to the PSC

if this is after he met up with Dabi then why does he still have the bag? WHEN WILL THIS STOP HAUNTING ME. I’M SO TIRED OF WAKING UP AT NIGHT IN A COLD SWEAT ONLY TO SEE HAWK’S BACKPACK STANDING THERE RIGHT NEXT TO MY BED, WATCHING

-- SDLKGHSLDKHFL

lmao this scared the shit out of me. Enji what the fuck

yesssss it’s mah boisssss

wow, he’s pretty weirdly enthused about the whole thing, huh? I expected him to bitch about it more. since Shouto basically offered his friends the gig all on his own without any consultation whatsoever. that’s called nepotism Shouto but it’s okay I forgive you

anyways. so are the Endeavor offices located in THE FUTURE. or what. is this Epcot

DKFJWELKFJL

LOL THAT’S MORE LIKE IT. FOR A MOMENT I THOUGHT WE HAD SLIPPED INTO SOME WEIRD ALTERNATE UNIVERSE

hahaha exactly

well I’m glad I’m not going crazy, at any rate. anyways though, Endeavor trying his best to be a good dad and caving in to his son’s ridiculous demands because he’s trying to make up for TWO DECADES OF BEING COMPLETE GARBAGE is pleasing to me as always. deal with it Endeav

HE SAID DEAL WITH IT!!

oh my god Katsuki is saying something holy shit, the next few panels will set the stage for what could be the sleeper hit character dynamic of the year. ghghkghhhhhh

( ⁰ o ⁰ )

oh my god

(ETA: Katsuki I have written whole essays about how perceptive you are and then you just. sob. now that he’s finally starting to ease up on the whole Angry Asshole thing, his inner dumbass is really shining through.)

YES HE IS AND THERE’S NOTHING YOU CAN DO, YOUR BOURGEOIS SON HAS FALLEN IN WITH THIS CHURLISH ROUGHNECK FROM THE HOOD, DIE MAD ABOUT IT!!

lmaooo

that mental image omfg. HE WILL PUT UP WITH THIS SUFFERING IN ORDER TO GET CLOSER TO HIS GOAL. what a sacrifice. the pros outweighed the cons. it’s logic. I can’t, I

and Endeavor being so fucking mad that Shouto picked this asshole to be his new best friend sob. YOU CAN’T STOP THEIR BROMANCE IT IS UNFOLDING BEFORE YOUR VERY EYES

anyways I love everything and I’m all set for the mentoring to begin. bring it onnnn

so now Deku is being surprisingly earnest and thanking Endeavor for accepting them into his agency

and we’re getting our first glimpse of Deku’s Upgraded Feelings About Endeavor oooooh juicy

Deku is so good at seeing into people’s hearts. and so forgiving. we already knew he was -- the inciting event that led to the whole fucking series wouldn’t have even happened if he wasn’t -- but I’m honestly still so impressed every time I see it

(ETA: and also, this means that he still went and told him off during the sports festival even though he was scared of him. kid is the fucking role model to end all role models.)

also I’m already sensing that this chapter (and indeed, this entire arc) is going to prompt more Discourse up in the ol’ fandom. that’s going to be fun. anyways, I’ve already essayed more than once regarding Endeavor’s redemption arc, so I’m not going to spend too much time hashing out the same old points. but basically my stance is I’m fine with it. I think it’s good to show that people can change no matter how far they’ve gone down the wrong path. it may not be easy, but if they’re genuinely remorseful, and if the desire is there, then why not? I’m not gonna get up in arms because someone is trying to become a better person. the alternative is that they stay terrible, and that doesn’t help anyone

anyway, so now we’re flashing back to what appears to be a conversation with All Might, and oh my god

but you guys. listen. Katsuki is there, again. they’re not even discussing OFA this time and he’s still there! elbowed his way into this mentorship like the determined little shit he is, and now he’s not leaving and you all just have to deal with it. oh my god it’s everything I ever wanted, someone please pinch me is this real??

lol and now they are discussing OFA, but that’s okay. it’s only natural that would also be on the agenda

really, All Might?

you consider that “just fine”? that bloop? just as planned?? I know you love your son, but maybe consider raising the bar for him just a little bit. he is capable of so much more, and now of all times is not the time to go easy on him

and he’s still talking about the SIXQUIRKS as though unlocking more of them right now would be a bad thing. I really think this is the wrong approach. maybe I just want to see Deku go buck wild and fucking lose it though, idk

Katsuki has no patience for this either

“I don’t doubt it.” please Deku we’re not worthy of you and your wholesomeness. and he’s so sincere, too?? how does Kacchan continuously absorb all of this shameless admiration and affection day after day, week after week. how is he not humbled by it

anyways time to shut up about that though because All Might is now mentoring Bakugou directly and this requires my full fucking attention

yessss let the character development commence! I’m so excited ddhkshl

and now we’re back in the present and the conversation is taking a very interesting turn!

YES! HE DID! DO YOU REMEMBER? YOU WEREN’T REALLY PAYING ATTENTION BEFORE BECAUSE YOU WERE STILL IN ASSHOLE MODE. what do you have to say about it now?

...

mysterious

what

(ETA: “is he always like this?”)

lol what

hahaha. this arc is off to a fucking hysterical start

oh snap y’all look at this

100% chance Deku is right fucking behind him lol. probably they all are

YEP

BITCH, WHO THE FUCK DID YOU THINK YOU WERE DEALING WITH. YOU THOUGHT THESE WERE JUST ANY OLD INTERNS?? FUCK YOU, THESE ARE PREMIUM, CLUB-LEVEL, OCEAN VIEW INTERNS, YOU UNAPPRECIATIVE LOUT. YOU INGRATE

lol but he’s not missing a beat though, and he’s ordering them to stay behind and watch him oh shit. what is even going on

now we’re cutting to some fucking yogi bobbing around town in a lotus position screaming about a divine revelation he received from fucking space. okay

AHHH WHAT

HAWKS IS ALREADY GETTING IN ON THE ACTION, JESUS CHRIST. DOES THIS FUCKER EVER PUT ON THE BRAKES?? THIS ARC IS LIKE TWELVE DIFFERENT PLOTLINES INTERSECTING ALL AT ONCE AND I CAN BARELY KEEP UP. THIS SHIT IS A TRAINWRECK WAITING TO HAPPEN AND I’M STANDING HERE MESMERIZED

BUT!!!

cue Celine Dion’s “All by Myself” while I fall down dramatically nooooo. the lord giveth and he taketh away. YOU OPENED A DOOR AND CLOSED THE WINDOW YOU BASTARD sob why

well shit. and that means that Katsuki has only one chapter left to reveal his hero name, too. (ETA: keeping track of the important things here lol.) and somehow I don’t see that happening unless the focus of the next chapter takes a very dramatic shift, since we seem to be launching into full plot mode before any of us even have our seatbelts on. not that I’m complaining about that because sdkljk

anyways. see y’all in two weeks I guess. the My Plots Academia arc sure is off to a crazy fucking start

[zaptap]

may have lost splatfest yesterday but at least i finally beat fire emblem echoes after over 3 years (although i still have some postgame apparently)

probably my favorite fire emblem game so far? the only other one i’ve played all the way through is awakening, and i can also compare it to shadow dragon since i watched a full playthrough of that

mainly the story that i liked more, and i really liked a lot of the characters, especially alm and celica (and the thing where you control two armies independently was kind of interesting too). there were several annoying gameplay things that probably came from trying to be faithful to gaiden (but also, no durability is nice), but generally story is what influences my opinions on games more

anyway, i still have to get back to three houses (im on chapter 6 of my first route) but i guess sometime next i’ll watch/play new mystery of the emblem. not sure how long thatll be tho

i originally skipped fates mainly because i didnt know which version to get (lmao) and now i think id pick birthright (tbh if i made myself make a decision back then i wouldve gone with it since it’s apparently the easier version anyway, i just wanted to base my decision more on the context of the story and corrin’s choice), but i’m not particularly interested in adding another huge game to my 3ds backlog--echoes took 80 hours, and based on the stats pages on gamefaqs it looks like each of fates’s paths would probably take me about that long too, so ~240 hours or more if i did all three. and if i take as much time getting that gameplay in? three years for each? 9 years total??? thats 2029. im not interested in playing it that long tbh, i might just watch a playthrough (though i guess the other option is to only play birthright and watch the other two, which is a little more reasonable. also might just ignore the game completely idk)

anyway once i knock out this postgame im going to look at xenoblade again and try to figure out if i can finally defeat wise gremory

[cinnamaldeide]

#Hannigraham Meet-Cute Challenge

There’s just barely enough air to breath lately, summer has finally hit us in full force and all that is left for us... is fun. Fun at the seaside, fun with our psycho friends, fun with our precious, scruffy partners, and @funwithtyler​ fun reading lovely stories. Some of us have to combat this torrid heat to approach one very hot computer to type their very beautiful fanfictions and creations, but luckily for us we get to reap the benefits!

#29: Welcome to Widdershins Close by @zigzag-wanderer #110: Fancy meeting you by @mazephoenix #74: Going My Way by @fragile-teacup #55: A Face Like Yours by @hannibalsimago (now with fanart by @bayobayo) #13: Admirable Deceit by @cinnamaldeide​ #248: The night shift customer by @niceven-silace​ #3: You don’t see enough, you see too much by @fhimechan​ #1: Nigel’s Books by @murderfriesandgayguys {fanart} #186: Hello Gorgeous, Love Your Left Hook by @ishxallxgood #230: the aesthetics of pleasure by @exarite​ #116: Speed Dating by @ishxallxgood​ and @stratumgermanitivum #50: Evening Wedding by @emergencytrap {gifset}

You see our list of contributions is growing steadily and inexorably, but in this update I have the pleasure of including not only an incredible cooperation between our unstoppable @ishxallxgood and @stratumgermanitivum, but also an entirely new form of art, which is @emergencytrap’s nsfw gifset where the film Evening meets After the wedding.

As we had announced months ago, despite the name of our challenge, we’re allowing both Hannibal and HEU character, which means EveningWedding and Spacedogs, like in the case of our gifset and fanart, but also RoyalInstincts, DogsDogs, LucAdam, Kaisergram, whatever crosses your mind.

I’ll seize the opportunity and remind you of the #RareMeat fest, mostly on Twitter by now, which is exactly about these pairings. If you’re eager to write something involving Overgård and Galahad, for example, but you don’t know how or where they meet, only that a lot of snow is involved, consider selecting one of the prompts you see here (ง ื▿ ื)ว

#22: A is having a quiet night at home – that is, until A’s apartment neighbour begins blasting music. Frustration levels rising, A goes to knock on the neighbour’s door to ask them to keep it down… at the same time B, the resident on the other side, is about to. Need more detail? Click on the post.

#32: A checks into a cozy inn while on a cross-country road trip, beyond tired and ready to collapse. When A gets to the assigned room, he or she is in for a surprise! Someone else, B, is already in the room. Uh-oh.

#117: A is a professional assassin hired to take out a client’s cheating husband. But the client also spoke to B, a close friend, who has made it his/her’s own mission to also kill the husband. Unfortunately, both A and B have chosen the same night to do so, and it just so happens that B is a bit clumsy… and keeps getting in A’s way.

#143: A’s blind date just left, mumbling some sort of excuse about leaving the stove on. Confused and feeling rejected, A sits orders another beer at the bar, wondering where s/he went wrong. B, who had witnessed the situation, goes over and says sympathetically, “I think I know what went wrong… there’s something in your teeth.”

#162: A is interviewing potential roommates and is having very little luck. When it comes to B, A says, “I’m so sorry, I don’t think this is going to work. I can’t live with someone that I’d like to ask out.”

#166: A is at a coffee shop and sits down at a table, only to find a book on the chair. Intrigued, A starts flipping through it, and realizes it’s actually someone’s journal that had been left behind! And it’s fascinating. Unfortunately, B, the journal’s author, rushes back to retrieve it… and is horrified to see A reading it. But A, having gotten a feel for this person through his/her writing, asks if they want to go out sometime.

#176: A works at a pet store and is utterly surprised when B bursts through the door in a hurry and walks up to the cash without looking around. Out of breath, A says, “Please don’t ask why, but what do capybaras eat?”

#180: There has been a series of recent break-ins in A’s neighbourhood. B, a cop, knocks on A’s door to recommend safety measures and to ask if A has noticed anything peculiar — A hasn’t really seen anything, but invites the cop and his/her charming smile inside for coffee and a bit of false information so s/he might stay a while.

#207: A meets B and falls immediately for them, but B clearly doesn’t feel the same. After being rejected, A calls on Anteros, the avenger of unrequited love, to exact vengeance on B.

#210: A is a writer struggling to find inspiration for their next book. The publishers are breathing down their neck and the pressure is almost more than A can take. When A comes across an old Greek book in a thrift store, A brings it home and flips through the pages…. only to come across an old chant that was supposed to bring inspiration to those who read it out loud. A gives it a shot and… oh dear. Oh, oh dear. Somehow that summoned B, one of the Muses, to A’s living room.

#215: A is brought in to the police station for questioning about a crime they know nothing about and is put in an interrogation room… with B, who is another suspect in this particular case.

#231: A is hanging out with a friend but ends up stopping to look at some lingerie in a shop window. A is still chatting away, thinking that their friend has stopped with them also, and turns to where they assume their friend is to jokingly ask: “Wouldn’t I look sexy in that?” But it turns out that the friend had kept walking and it was B, a total stranger, who A had spoken to.

#232: A is in a public place and temporarily leaves their things where they are seated so that they can use the bathroom. When A returns, A notices B, the person sitting at the next table, putting A’s phone back on the table. A demands to know what they were doing with their phone, and B tells them that the phone was ringing non-stop and it was bothering everyone. Also… “Your friend is drunk and I think they want to sleep with you.”

#239: A is sitting in a cafe trying to casually read their book, but is distracted by B’s loud phone conversation at the table over. B tells a joke over the phone, which makes A crack up unexpectedly – B looks over at A, annoyed that they were eavesdropping, but also appreciative that at least someone liked their joke! B hangs up and offers to tell A another.

#240: A stops at the pub near their house to pick up some food on the way home (they make the best fries in the neighbourhood) when A receives a phone call – and some terrible news. A starts crying and B, the bartender, asks A what’s wrong. As A opens up to them, B gives A a drink on the house, and helps talk them through it.

#246: A was fatally wounded in an accident and suddenly finds themself looking down at their own lifeless body in confusion. B is a reaper and offers A guidance… but A doesn’t want to do the whole follow the light bullshit. A wants to flirt with the cute reaper.

#252: A is in the public library and notices a strange book that looks like it doesn’t belong in this section. A moves along to another genre, but it seems that this book is in every section… almost like it’s following A. How peculiar! When A finally picks it up to see what exactly it is, B appears out of thin air, and simply says, “I’ve been waiting fifty years for you.”

You may have noticed the lack of line breaks in this post. Well, it’s not the only thing I cannot do anymore on this platform, and it would be a big leap to say I’m more or less leaving Tumblr because I can’t do anymore what I previosly did, but that’s exactly what I’m doing. And I’m not alone, apparently.

This challenge, as well as the Accidental Sex initiative, could go on only thanks to those who so kindly kept the word spread for @fhimechan​ and myself. This time, I really thank @zigzag-wanderer​, @mistikfir​, @diemetzgermeisterin​, @cassraven​, @ishxallxgood​, @tiggymalvern​, @crisisoninfintefandoms​, @dyggyd​, @evakkorotta​, @thatthreetoedsloth​, @hannibalsimago​, @xchrysaliswhispersx, @bonesandscales​, @fragile-teacup​, @psychoheu​ and @cinelitchick​, you’ve all helped us keeping this well into Tumblrgeddon, but I’m sad to say this platform is not helping anymore. We’ll have to close this challenge before we had planned and hope the next one will be more fruitful.

In short, hereby starts your last month to choose one of those fantastic prompts and fill it, in whatever capacity you like: fanfiction, fanart, gifset, smoke signals, Hannigraham or RareMeat, whatever crosses your mind. We’re here to reap and to include in our collection, we appreciate your commitment and hope you won’t be mad at us for letting go of this challenge before due time.

[weekendwarriorblog]

The Weekend Warrior Feb. 14, 2020 – SONIC THE HEDGEHOG, FANTASY ISLAND, THE PHOTOGRAPH, DOWNHILL, OLYMPIC DREAMS

It’s Valentine’s Day on Friday and President’s Day on Monday, which means that this weekend is going to be absolutely nuts in terms of getting four new wide releases.  Last week’s Birds of Prey did not do even remotely close to where I predicted/projected – almost half!! -- and here I thought all those raves reviews might help, but apparently not. It will still make money with its global release but it’s gonna fall short even of last year’s Shazam! and many have already started questioning whether an R-rating is the way to go with a movie semi-targeted towards younger women. (Warner Bros. has already sent out a mandate to theaters to change the title of the movie to Harley Quinn: Birds of Prey. I cannot believe that it took this long for them to figure out what a terrible title they had previously!)

With the four-day weekend, it’s very likely that Paramount Pictures’ SONIC THE HEDGEHOG, will prevail, as it brings the beloved SEGA video game character to the big screen with James Marsdenand Jim Carrey, the latter starring in one of his first big-screen appearances in a while. It should be an easy victor this weekend in a market that could desperately use another strong family film.

For those unfamiliar with SEGA’s flagship video game “mascot,” Sonic has appeared in all sorts of other media including animated series and comic books, so one can say that the character is almost but not quite as well known and popular as Nintendo’s Pokemon, which has had a much wider reach in terms of both games and cartoons.

Of course, it’s impossible not to look at Sonic the Hedgehog and completely ignore the relative success of last year’s Pokemon: Detective Pikachu, which had the added benefits of a popular A-list star in Ryan Reynoldsand a summer release. That opened with $54.4 million and made $144 million domestic and $429.7 million worldwide.

On the other hand, Sonic does have Jim Carrey, who hasn’t been in an American wide release since the 2014 sequel Dumb and Dumber To, which only made about $156 million worldwide. At one point, Carrey was one of the biggest box office stars with multiple $240 million plus domestic blockbusters. Maybe the kids won’t be as invested in Carrey’s Mr. Robotnik, but many parents who grew up with Carrey’s comedies will be happy to see him in such a perfect role.

The Presidents Day weekend allows one extra day for parents with kids needing something to do with them sans school. Even so, the biggest movies on the weekend have been superhero movies, including Black Panther, Deadpool and Fifty Shades of Grey, the latter two definitely not for kids. (Daredeviland Ghost Rider also fared well on the weekend.) In fifth place for the weekend is Warner Bros’ The LEGO Movie, which made $62.5 million over the four-day weekend, but that was in its SECOND WEEKEND! So yeah, lots of money to be had for a family movie even though the biggest opener was Christopher Columbus’ Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief (now on Broadway!), which opened with $38.7 million ten years ago.

I have to imagine that Sonic is more popular, and even with the tragic misstep of that first trailer last year which got such a negative reaction to Sonic’s appearance, Paramount delayed the movie and went back to the CG drawing board, there will be enough fans interested to see how he translates to the screen that $40 million over the weekend should be doable even with three other wide releases. I also don’t think reviews will be so bad, so it should be good for $100 million plus.

Mini-Review: For whatever reason, Sonic the Hedgehog is the kind of movie that lazy critics love to dump on, maybe because it’s a kids’ movie or because it’s a movie based on a video game they played as kids, or more likely, a character their kids know from popular cartoons and comic books. It doesn’t help that judgments were mostly cast when the first trailer hit last year and Sonic looked different than what people expected. Regardless, I went into the movie with very low expectations, maybe because I really had no passionate connection to the character despite being generally familiar with some of the games.

We meet Sonic as he’s being chased by robots, and we flash back to him as a kid on a planet where he’s able to zoom around freely, until he’s discovered by predators that are hunting him (it’s never explained why), so his mentor owl gives Sonic gold rings that can take him off-planet. Sonic ends up in a small town called Green Hills where he watches the townsfolk in hiding for years, including a local police officer (James Marsden) and his wife Maddie (Tika Sumpter). The former eventually discovers Sonic after he causes a major power outage that gets the attention of the government and its genius robotics scientist, Dr. Robotnik (Jim Carrey).

Despite not having much previous connection to Sonic, it’s hard for me not to appreciate this character, because I’ve been known to zip around myself. I also enjoyed Sonic’s haste since who knows when we might see that movie based on one of my favorite comic characters, The Flash. Sonic does a good job capturing the intensity and yes, speed, of having speed powers in quite a masterful way compared to previous attempts, giving me hope that a Flash movie is possible. (Granted, they do rip-off the fun thing Quicksilver does in the recent X-movies by slowing everything around Sonic down to a halt, but it’s still amusing.)

Probably the most genius idea by Sonic’s filmmakers was to convince Jim Carrey to return to the big screen as Dr. Robotnik. He quickly reminds us how hilarious he can be when going as fully into a character as he does this one, and it’s prime Carey vs. the semi-lazy Carrey that made movies in the early ‘00s. Robotnik is a super-genius with no patience for anyone on a lower level of intellect (aka everyone), and Carrey takes that idea to the utmost extreme. (It’s hard not to compare what he’s doing in this movie to what Ewan McGregor does in Birds of Prey and see how Carey does it effortlessly whereas McGregor was clearly trying too hard.)

That’s not to take away from Marsden and Sumpter, Sonic’s other prominent human co-stars, who bring such a warmth and humanity to those characters that you rarely even think that you’re watching them interact with a fully CG-character. (Kudos to Ben Schwartz and what he brings to Sonic as his voice.)

Sure, the plot can be a bit predictable with certain parts clearly geared to kids, but there’s also slew of pop references that display some real talent in the writing of the movie so that it can be watched and enjoyed by people of all ages.

Is it possible that Sonic the Hedgehog is the first thoroughly entertaining movie of the year? Yes, indeedy. (Definitely stay through the first bunch of credits if you are a Sonic fan!)

Rating: 8/10

One of the more interesting releases of the weekend is BLUMHOUSE’S FANTASY ISLAND (Sony Pictures Releasing), which as you can guess is a PG-13 horror version of the popular ‘80s show, starring Michael Peña as Mr. Rouke, the head of a program in which people can pay lots of money to achieve their greatest wishes… with a catch! Since this is Blumhouse, you probably know that the catch involves some sort of horror/thriller premise, and if you’ve seen the trailer, you might get some idea how it works… or not. (I wish I can say more but I’m under embargo!)

The rest of the cast is decent including Maggie Q (from Mission: Impossible 3), Lucy Hale, Portia Doubleday, Michael Rooker, Ryan Hansen, Jimmy O . Yang and more, plus it’s directed by Jeff Wadlow, who last did Blumhouse’s Truth Or Dare (a very bad movie!) and then Kick Ass 2 before that. (He was supposed to direct Sony’s upcoming Bloodshot movie but he left that to do other things, like this.)

Unfortunately, Sony Pictures Releasing (another specialized imprint from the parent company?) seems to have taken a cue from Screen Gems by deciding not to screen the movie for critics until Thursday afternoon (just like with The Grudge!), plus there won’t be ANY Thursday previews for this. It’s a shame since… well, I can’t really tell you if I liked the movie or not since I’m under embargo until Friday. J

Either way, it seems like a strong enough counter to Sonic and Birds of Prey that it should be good for $15 million plus over the four days. Personally, I think it would have opened even bigger if Sony and Blumhouse had shown some balls and screened it for critics in advance, but what do I know? I’ve only written about this stuff for ALMOST TWENTY FUCKING YEARS! (Not sure I’m gonna review the movie but we’ll see.)

I know far less about Universal’s Valentine’s Day offering THE PHOTOGRAPH (Universal), which I guess is a romantic drama that’s targeting African-Americans looking for something to see on the biggest date nights of the year. In fact, we’ve seen some interesting hits on this weekend just by putting “Date” in the movie title, as was the case with Adam Sandler-Drew Barrymore’s 50 First Dates ($45.1 million four-day opening) and even Date Movie ($21.8 million), which satirized romantic movies. But the real winner has to be a movie that went all out for Valentine’s Day by actually going with the title Valentine’s Day, which helped it open with $63 million over the four-day weekend ten years ago. ($23.4 million of that was on Valentine’s Day alone!)

Since I won’t see The Photograph until Weds. night, I can only talk about the little bit of marketing I’ve seen and what’s out there. Apparently, this is more in the vein of Valentine’s Day in that it’s a series of intertwined romantic stories, but it has an impressive cast of African-American actors who are on the verge of breaking out such as the great LaKeith Stanfield and amazing Kelvin Harrison Jr., as well as Rob Morgan (from “Daredevil” and Mudbound) and Courtney B. Vance. I’d be neglect if I didn’t mention any of the women involved and having Issa Raefrom the TV show “Insecure” as the primary female lead is something that shouldn’t be ignored. Stanfield isn’t the only connection to Jordan Peele, though, asLil Rel Howery from Get Outis also in this movie as is Peele’s actual wife, Chelsea Peretti!

I actually had to double check to make sure Peele wasn’t one of the film’s producers, but no, this is from Will Packer, a producer who is responsible for so many huge hits among African-Americans that one of these days I won’t underestimate his drawing power, even though all three of his 2019 movies underdelivered, including the comedy Little (co-starring Rae), although did well compared to their lower budgets.

In that sense, The Photograph could be compared to Packer’s Screen Gems comedy About Last Night, which opened with $27.8 million in just over 2,200 theaters in 2014, but that also had the power of proven box office draw Kevin Hartto bring in audiences. I certainly don’t want to be accused of underestimating Packer again, but with such a generic title and premise (and next to no marketing?), I’m just not sure the movie will deliver despite being decent counter-programming for AA audiences. With that in mind, I think the movie will probably make somewhere between $12 and 14 million.

Then there’s DOWNHILL (Searchlight Studios), the new movie from The Way, Way Back directors Nat Faxon and Jim Rash (who also won the Oscar for cowriting Alexander Payne’s The Descendants), this one being a direct remake of Swedish filmmaker Ruben Östlund’s 2014 film Force Majeure.

In this version, Will Ferrell and Julia Louis-Dreyfus play a squabbling couple who travel to the alps with their kids, but after barely escaping an avalanche – one in which he runs away leaving his family behind – they start questioning their lives. The film also stars Zach Woods (also from “Veep”), Miranda Otto and Zoe Chao, and though it premiered at the Sundance Film Festival (just like the duo’s previous movie), it did not receive great reviews, as it currently sits at 48% on Rotten Tomatoes.

I don’t think that will matter since like Carey above, Ferrell hasn’t been oversaturating the market with movies in the past couple year, maybe because his last movie, Holmes & Watson, reteaming him with John C. Reilly from Step Brothers bombed with $41 million worldwide after horrifying reviews. Fortunately, Louis-Dreyfus is far more loved thanks to her run on “Seinfeld” and her Emmy-winning run on HBO’s “Veep,” and that should help get people into theaters despite all the competition aboe and below.

Searchlight (no more Fox!!) will be releasing the movie into roughly 1,500 theaters, a moderate release to see how it fares, and the extended holiday weekend (plus the chance of it attracting older moviegoers on Valentine’s Day) should help it make $5 million plus over the extended weekend.

Mini-Review: If you’re reading this review hoping for a play-by-play of how Downhill differs from Ruben Ostlund’s Force Majeure, then you’re bound to be disappointed, because a.) I don’t really remember it, b.) I wasn’t as big a fan of the movie as so many others, and c.) I’m going to assume that a lot of people never got around to seeing it.

In this version, it’s Ferrell and Louis-Dreyfus as Peter and Billie Stanton, and there’s much more focus on their roles as parents and the responsibility that goes with that. Once again, Peter runs off when a controlled avalanche comes their way, but they don’t really talk about it so much even as it hangs over their heads.

Nat Faxon and Jim Rash once again find a manageable way of making “dramedy” out of a situation, making sure not to go for constant visual laughs or the zaniness Ferrell usually goes for. (Granted, we can totally believe him as a careless father/husband who does dumb things.) In fact, Ferrell plays his role fairly toned down, which allows Louis-Dreyfus to shine in what’s, oddly, a quite rare movie appearance. How they deal with the aftermath of the avalanche comes to a head when Pete’s work-buddy Zack (Zach Woods) arrives with a ladyfriend (Zoe Chao) allows the two to go at each other. It doesn’t get quite as intense as Marriage Story, but it’s obvious that they both have reached the point in their marriage where they need a separation.

It is kind of amusing that Miranda Otto almost steals her scenes with the two leads because she’s so funny as a hot-to-trot European guest they keep running into and who sets Billie up with a hot Italian ski trainer. There’s a few other funny characters but it mostly stays on Ferrell and Louis-Dreyfus either alone or together, and that’ll be enough for most people.

Faxon and Rash find interesting ways to play with the basic premise, although Downhill is very much comedy with a lower-case “c,” and like the original movie, it should lead to some interesting conversations.

Rating: 7/10

This week’s Top 10 should look something like this… (bearing in mind that the below are all four-day projections). It’ll be interesting to see if the name change for “Birds of Prey” will make a difference, but look for NEON’s Parasite to make its first foray into the top 10 this weekend after 19 (!!!) weeks in theaters, thanks to its Best Picture win last Sunday.

1. Sonic the Hedgehog (Paramount) - $44 million N/A (up $1.5 million)* 2. Harley Quinn: Birds of Prey  (Warner Bros) - $20 million -39% (down $1.5 million)* 3. Blumhouse’s Fantasy Island (Sony) - $15.8 million N/A (up $.3 million)* 4. The Photograph (Universal) - $13.5 million N/A 5. Bad Boys for Life (Sony) - $8 million -35% (up .2 million)* 6. 1917 (Universal) - $7 million -23% 7. Downhill (Searchlight) - $5.6 million N/A (up .2 million)* 8. Parasite (NEON) - $5 million +300% (up .4 million and one place) 9. Dolittle  (Universal) - $4.5 million -30% (down .4 million and one place) 10. Jumanji: The Next Level  (Sony) - $4.2 million -24%

*UPDATE: A few minor updates based on actual theater counts with Parasite being expanded into 2,000 theaters, the widest its been so far. I feel like most of the new movies will do well, including Downhill (which will be in 2,301 theaters vs. the 1,500 estimated earlier in the week). Anyway, it should be a fairly hearty and robust weekend at the box office.

LIMITED RELEASES

Before we get to the regular limited releases opening Friday, I want to mention two special releases for Weds. night, Trafalgar Releasing is giving a one-night screening of The Doors: Break on Thru - A Celebration of Ray Manzarek, which I haven’t seen but I’m definitely interested in as a fan of the ‘60s group (and Manzarek’s keyboard work). You can get tickets for that here. Also, Kino Lorber is giving one-night release of Emily Taguchi & Jake Lefferman’s doc After Parkland to commemorate the second anniversary of the shootings at the Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida that killed 17 people and began a nationwide student movement for gun control. It’s a fairly sobering and emotional doc, as you can imagine, especially since so little has been done to prevent incidents like this even two years later.

My favorite movie of the weekend is Jeremy Teicher’s OLYMPIC DREAMS ( IFC Films), opening at the IFC Center Friday. It stars Nick Kroll (who you’ll know from “The League,” “Oh, Hello” and other things) and (actual Olympian distance runner) Alexi Pappas, who you may or may not be as familiar with. Pappas plays Penelope, an American competitor in the 2018 Winter Olympics in South Korea, who is feeling lonely and unable to connect with others until she meets Kroll’s volunteer dentist, Ezra. While at first, it wouldn’t seem like they would have anything in common, they spend a night hanging out and while some might be expecting something romantic, since this is opening on Valentine’s Day, well I won’t ruin what does or doesn’t happen, k?  Either way, it’s a wonderful film co-written by Teichter, Pappas and Kroll, and if that sounds like a familiar formula, then it is indeed the one Richard Linklater used for his sequels to Before Sunrise with Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy. Olympic Dreams isn’t nearly as deep and philosophical (or wordy), but the two actors are so wonderful together, and they actually filmed this in the Athletes Village at the Olympics (the first film to do so) which adds some authenticity to the sweet little movie. (There will be a sneak preview Weds night at the IFC Center with Teicher, Kroll and Pappas all in attendance!)

Danish filmmaker Lone Scherfig returns with THE KINDNESS OF STRANGERS (Vertical), a star-studded ensemble piece starring Zoe Kazan, Andrea Riseborough, Caleb Landry Jones, Jay Baruchel and Bill Nighy (who appeared in Lone’s previous film Their Finest). This is a New York City story about six strangers whose lives intersect and mingle while trying to find help, hope and love. I know it sounds like the Crash-style movie we’ve seen far too many times before, but I have faith in Ms. Scherfig and hopefully I’ll have a chance to watch it in the next day or two.

I also still haven’t gotten around to watching Kenji Tanagaki’s action-comedy ENTER THE FAT DRAGON (Go WELL USA), starring the always-amazing Donnie Yen as police officer Zhu, who is sent to Japan on a routine police escort of a suspect… who mysteriously dies, forcing Zhu to call upon a former undercover inspector to help solve the murder. I’m assuming the latter is the “Fat Dragon” and Yen didn’t gain 200 lbs. for the part.

Opening at the Quad Cinemaon Friday and in L.A. on Feb. 21 is Dimitri de Clercq’sFrench/Belgian film You Go to My Head (First Run Features) about an architect who finds a young woman lost, alone and in a fog in the Sahara after a mysterious accident, but when he takes her to the hospital, he claims to be her husband. As she gets better, he creates an elaborate life to fill in the life they shared which she can no longer remember. It also sounds perfect for Valentine’s Day, so you have plenty of options!

I didn’t have too much to say about Céline Sciamma’s PORTRAIT OF A LADY ON FIRE (NEON), because I think I wrote about it last year, and I haven’t seen the movie since the New York Film Festival. Set in the 18thCentury, it’s about a woman painter who travels to a remote island where she’s commissioned to do a painting of a grieving widow, who she ends up falling in love with. I probably should see the movie again as it didn’t really connect with me the first time, but I can totally understand why others love it so much. (Unfortunately, the 7:10 screening on Friday night at the Angelika with a QnA moderated by my pal, Valerie Complex, is already sold out!)

The second documentary in the last year about a man named “Cunningham” (a different one this time) is Mark Bozek’s The Times of Bill Cunningham (Greenwich) about the famed photographer who died in 2016… and whom I know even less about than I did dancer/choreographer Merce Cunningham. Apparently, he was a New York Timesphotographer for four decades and had a long relationship with First Lady Jackie Kennedy, and this doc is even narrated by Sarah Jessica Parker! It also opens at the Angelika and City Cinemas 1, 2 & 3, and maybe L.A.?

Due to the usual conflicts and circumstances, I wasn’t able to see Lisa Barros D'Sa and Glenn Leyburn’s Ordinary Love (Bleecker Street) as planned, but it’s an appropriately-timed romantic drama starring Liam Neeson and Lesley Manville as a middle-aged couple who must deal with her beast cancer diagnosis. I actually am interested in seeing this, especially to see Neeson back in serious drama mode (it’s been a while), so hopefully I’ll have a chance to see this down the road.

Also opening Friday is Tanya Wexler’s Buffaloed (Magnolia), starring Zoey Deutch as Peg Dahl, a young woman living in Buffalo, the debt collection capital of America but hopes to get out of town and into an Ivy League university. When she’s accepted to her top choice but can’t afford the tuition, she gets pulled into the rope of debt collection.  Also starring Judy Greer, Germaine Fowler, Noah Reid and Jai Courtney, it will open at New York’s Quad Cinema, the Loz Feliz 3 in L.A., Buffalo’s North Park Theater and more theaters.

Opening at the Quad Cinemaon Friday and in L.A. on Feb. 21 is Dimitri de Clercq’sFrench/Belgian film You Go to My Head (First Run Features) about an architect who finds a young woman lost, alone and in a fog in the Sahara after a mysterious accident, but when he takes her to the hospital, he claims to be her husband. As she gets better, he creates an elaborate life to fill in the life they shared which she can no longer remember. It also sounds perfect for Valentine’s Day, so you have plenty of options!

Another SXSW 2019 movie is Richard Wong’s Come As You Are (Samuel Goldwyn), starring Gabourey Sidibe, Grant Rosenmeyer, Ravi Patel, Hayden Szeto and Janeane Garofolo. The three guys in the middle play men with disabilities who go on a road trip to a Montreal brothel to get away from their suffocating parents. Sidibe (from Precious) plays their travelling nurse who drives them across the border to help them lose their virginity. This is an English remake of the Belgian Film Hasta La Vista about the real-life adventure of Asta Philpot.

Sara Zandieh’s indie rom-com A Simple Wedding (Blue Fox Entertainment) also opens in theaters and On Demand on Valentine’s Day, this one following an Iranian-American named Nousha (Tara Grammy) whose hopes for a Persian wedding are dashed when she falls for a bisexual artist/DJ named Alex (Christopher O’Shea). She has to make sure her parents don’t realize they’re living together before marriage. The film also stars Shohreh Aghdashloo, Rita Wilson, Maz Jobrani, Peter McKenzie and James Eckhouse.

LOCAL FESTIVALS

Some cool festivals and series in New York are happening this weekend to offer competition for all the choices above.

Let’s begin with the “Winter Showcase” for one of my favorite annual film festivals, the New York Asian Film Festivalsubtitled “Love at First Bite,” since they’re including a special Valentine’s Day screening of the Korean hit Extreme Job followed by a reception including delicious Korean food. The rest of the line-up is probably more appropriate for the rep section as it will including Asian classics like Stephen Chow’s God of Cookery (1996), Ang Lee’s Eat Drink Man Woman (1994),Tampopo (1985) on Saturday, as well as Ritesh Batra’s amazing The Lunchbox and more on Sunday.

Up at Film at Lincoln Center, there’s the annual “Neighboring Scenes,” the annual celebration of “New Latin American Cinema,” opening Friday with Joanna Reposi Garibaldi’s Lemebel, a documentary about writer/visual artist Pedro Lemebel and his controversial performances amidst Chilean upheaval. Of course, I’m most interested in the Brazilian offerings, but sadly, there just isn’t enough time in the day/week to see as many of the films in this series I’m curious about including the New York premiere of Ema from Chile’s Pablo Larrain (Neruda, Jackie). Click on the link above and check out that line-up.

Further North (in terms of global geography) but South (in terms of New York City geography) is this year’s “Canada Now” series, taking place at the IFC Center from Thursday through Sunday. It will kick off with Guest of Honor, the new film from Canada’s Atom Egoyan, starring David Thewlis and Laysla De Oliveira as father and music school teacher daughter whose lives become complicated when she’s put in prison for earlier crimes. There are seven other movies in this series, most of them getting their U.S. debuts, so that’s another alternative for what could be a busy movie-going weekend.

STREAMING AND CABLE

Lots of stuff premiering on streaming services this weekend including the British animated sequel A Shaun the Sheep: Farmageddon on Netflix, as well as the rom-com sequel To All the Boys: PS I Still Love You, which will premiere on Weds and may end up being the “Netflix and chill” choice for many young people on V-Day. (I honestly never got around to seeing the first movies of either of those yet!)

Over on Hulu, they’re premiering the gender-swapped series loosely based on Nick Horny’s High Fidelity, this one starring Zoe Kravitz, the daughter of Lisa Bonet, who appeared opposite John Cusack in Stephen Frears’ adaptation of Hornby’s book from 2000 that was one of my favorite movies that year! Wait a second, even though Kravitz plays a character named Rob, just like Cusack, is she meant to be the daughter of Cusack and Bonet’s characters in that movie? That would be intense! (But probably not. I’m sure I’ll check it out.)

REPERTORY

METROGRAPH (NYC):

The Metrograph’s Valentine’s Dayweekend offerings include Casablanca (1942), Howard Hawks’ 1944 film To Have and  Have Not, the 1932 film Trouble in Paradise, Douglas Sirk’s Written on the Wind (1956) and another screening of Makoto Shinkai’s animated Your Name. The “To Hong Kong with Love” series continues through the end of February, this weekend screening Yellowing (2016), which I haven’t seen.This weekend, the  Welcome To Metrograph: Reduxwill offer two more screenings of Edward Yang’s 4-hour 1991 film A Brighter Summer Day, while Late Nites at Metrograph  will screen Nagisa Oshima’s 1978 film Empire of Passion, also which I have never seen! Rounding out the weekend’s Asian offering is the Playtime: Family Matineesoffering of Yoshifumi Kondo’s 1995 animated film Whisper of the Heart, which guess what? I haven’t seen that either! Clearly, I need to try to get to one of the four movies, right?  

ALAMO DRAFTHOUSE BROOKLYN (NYC)

Tonight’s “Weird Wednesday” is the Susan Sarandon-James Spader romantic drama White Palace (1990). Oddly, the Alamo is CLOSED on Valentine’s Day.. is this true?!? On Sunday is a special “Drew Believers: Drew Barrymore Movie Marathon” with four of Barrymore’s movies in 35mm! (As of this writing, there are a few seats available near the front.) Monday’s “Fist City” is Sam Raimi’s The Quick and The Dead from 1995 and that’s quickly selling out as well. The “Terror Tuesday” is James Gunn’s hilarious Slither and then next week’s “Weird Wednesday” is the 1987 Ken Russell film Gothic.

THE NEW BEVERLY (L.A.):

Wednesday’s “Afternoon Classic” is the 1961 Oscar-winning musical West Side Story. Weds and Thursday night’s double feature is Robert Altman’s 1971 film McCabe & Mrs. Miller and Sydney Pollack’s 1972 film Jeremiah Johnson, starring Robert Redford. This week’s “Freaky Friday” offering is the classic The Bride of Frankenstein (1935, while Friday’s midnight movie is True Romanceand Saturday’s midnight is 1978’s Mean Dog Blues in 16mm! This weekend continues the “Kiddee Matinee” run with the Alfonso Cuaron-directed Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Monday’s matinee of David Lynch’s Wild at Heart is already sold out but that night is a Robert Clouse double feature of The Pack(1977) and Darker than Amber (1970). Tuesday’s Grindhouse double feature is 1976’s Sky Riders and 1981’s Force: Five.  

EGYPTIAN THEATRE (LA):

Thursday is a “Black Voices” double feature of Car Wash (1976) and Cooley High (1975) with guest including Bill Duke in person. John Sayles and Joe Dante will be on hand Friday night for a “John Sayles: Independent” double feature of Piranha (1978) and The Howling (1981). This weekend is the “HFPA Restoration Summit” including a Saturday afternoon presentation called “Serge Bromberg Presents from the Silent Era” with the Lobster Films founder, while the one and only Jane Fonda will be on-hand Saturday evening to present a 4k restoration of the 1972 film F.T.A., which she produced with Donald Sutherland. Saturday night is a screening of The Black Vampire, the 1953 Argentine adaptation of Fritz Lang’s M, and there’s more classic cinema on Sunday as part of the series.

AERO  (LA):

Thursday’s “Antiwar Cinema” matinee is Richard Attenborough’s Oh! What a Lovely War from 1969 with an all-star cast, while that night is a Eugene Levy/Christopher Guest double feature of A Might Windand For Your Consideration. The AERO is ALSO showing Casablancaon Valentine’s Day and then Saturday is another Levy/Guest double feature of Best in Show (2000)and Waiting for Guffman  (1996) with Levy doing a discussion between films. John Sayles and Frances McDormand will appear in person for a Sunday afternoon double feature of 1996’s Lone Star and 1999’s Limbo.

MUSEUM OF THE MOVING IMAGE (NYC):

MOMI is going a bit crazy with its Valentine’s offering but it’s a good one…Jane Fonda in 1968’s Barbarella as part of its new 2001-inspired series “See It Big! Outer Space”! (If MOMI wasn’t all the way in Astoria, I’d totally go.)  It will play again Sunday with Tarkovsky’s Solaris (1972) playing on Friday and Saturday and 1979’s Star Trek: The Motion Pictureon Sunday. Sunday will also be a repeat of Kubrick’s 1969 film 2001: A Space Odyssey in 70mm with a discussion before the movie between Doug Trumbull and Piers Bizony. There’s also the usual DCP screening of 2001on Saturday afternoon, as part of the exhibition. On Saturday, they’ll screen Marjane Satrapi’s excellent Persepolis(2007) as part of its “World of Animation.”

FILM FORUM (NYC):

Starting Friday, the Forum will be screening a DCP restoration of Luchino Visconti’s L’Innocente (1976), starring Giancarlo Giannini. This weekend’s “Film Forum Jr.” is Guys and Dolls from 1955, starring Marlon Brando, Jean Simmons and Frank Sinatra. (If you read this on Wednesday, you can catch Joseph Strick’s 1963 film The Balcony, starring Shelley Winters, Peter Falk and Lee Grant, in 35mm.

QUAD CINEMA (NYC):

The Quad’s run of Pandora and the Flying Dutchman continues through the weekend, and there will be Valentine’s Day screenings of Alex Cox’s Sid and Nancy on Thursday and Friday night. (How romantic!)

ANTHOLOGY FILM ARCHIVES (NYC):

The Anthology’s great “The Devil Probably: A Century of Satanic Panic” continues this weekend with screenings of Robert Eggers’ The Witch, Alan Parker’s Angel Heart, another screening of Rosemary’s Baby, as well as screenings of Race with the Devil on Weds. and Thursday night. I missed it last week but they’ve been showing Mark Rappaport’s 1975 film Mozart in Love the past week, as well.

ROXY CINEMA (NYC)

The Cage-athon continues Weds. with Neil Labute’s The Wicker Man (2006) and 2009’s Knowing on Thursday. Valentine’s Day sees screening of Baz Lurhmann’s Romeo + Juliet, starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Claire Danes, as well as the 1987 Nicolas Cage movie Moonstruck, co-starring Cher. Spike Jonez and Charlie Kaufman’s Adaptation (2003), starring Cage, repeats on Saturday.

NITEHAWK CINEMA  (NYC):

Williamsburg‘s “Uncaged” series continues Friday with last year’s Mandy at midnight and 1983’s Valley Girl on Saturday morning. Casabalanca is also playing at the Prospect Park on Thursday, and unrelated but Back to the Future will play there on Monday night. Billy Wilder’s 1954 film Sabrina, starring Bogart, Hepburn and Holden will play on Saturay morning.

IFC CENTER (NYC)

Weekend Classics: Luis Buñuel is back with Belle de Jour from 1967, starring Catherine Deneuve.  Waverly Midnights: Hindsight is 2020 will screen the animated Ghost in the Shell, while Late Night Favorites: Winter 2020 will also go with an Anime film, Paprika.

MOMA  (NYC):

Modern Matinees: Jack Lemmon is off Weds. and Thursday but will return Friday with Billy Wilder’s Irma La Douce (1963).

BAM CINEMATEK (NYC):

BAM will continue to show Horace Jenkins’ 1982 film Cane River through the weekend.

Next week, the second to last week of February (man, it flew right by!) will include Fox’s The Call of the Wild, starring Harrison Ford, and the horror sequel, Brahms: The Boy II.