#2023 is the year where i will learn fashion

[chronologiical]

merry holidays everyone! (o´▽`o)

[uyuforu]

Jungkook's Solar Return Chart 2024-2025

₊ ⊹ ALLEGEDLY FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY₊ ⊹

All pictures were found on Pinterest

Other posts you could like:

જ⁀➴ JK's Solar Return for 2023-2024

જ⁀➴ Jungkook's Fashion Style Evolution

જ⁀➴ When will Jungkook marry?

PRIVATE BOOKING OPEN

email adress: tarotjunoboda@gmail.com

Soft To You presentation and Q&A ᡣ𐭩 rules ᡣ𐭩 private readings reviews

astrology menu ᡣ𐭩 tarot menu ᡣ𐭩 special astrology & tarot readings

What is a Solar Return Chart?

A solar return chart is a chart that literally describes your year from your birthday of a year until the day before next year. For example, Jungkook's 2024-2025 Solar Return will starts on September 1st 2024 until August 31st 2025. It describes the year for you, what will mostly happens. It said as a solar return chart because your sun returns in its home sign (your natal sun).

How to check your Solar Return Chart?

Go to astro.com > Free Horoscopes > Horoscope Drawings and Data > Extended Chart Selection

Enter your birth day, month, year, time and location

Where it's written chart selection with "natal chart", scroll to Solar Return Chart

On the box down there you can add asteroids to see more details ("additional objects")

ᯓ★ Annual Profection Year: 4H

When one is turning 27 years old, they are in their 4H APY. A 4H APY can mean JK will be focused on stability this year, family, close relationships too. What does he want to settle for, and what does he want to invest in. This year will be filled with reflections about his future, and what kind of life he wants to live in. It's also a time to move, to think of children, future, and building a foundation, but what kind of foundation? What kind of future does he want to build.

ᯓ★ 2H Sun means this year for JK will be focused on Money and Possessions. JK can start to think differently about money, perhaps also be more responsible. He can also make more money this year, find other ways to make money, or just have a new source of income. He can also manifest more money in his life. Very ambitious this year, it can also mean taking risks with money because of his ambition and projects.

ᯓ★ Leo Rising is a time for extra popularity for JK! I know it's strange to say that considering he is already very famous lol. But JK will be more under the projectors the year. I think he can be talked about more and will be more "seen" by other people. Getting more attention. JK's appearance could again make a lot of success for people around him. JK Could also look more proud and confident this year. JK can also do some activities this year that will make him way more famous, just having more attention on his activity this year.

ᯓ★ Moon 12H can mean JK will be more sensitive this year, will feel everything more intensely too. Perhaps will need more sleep as well. Could feel lonely sometimes this year, or just will need more time alone.

ᯓ★ Leo Moon means JK will feel more popular this year, perhaps he will feel seen again, with Military in between. He could also have some spotlight again, and perhaps also feel seen for his talent. He could feel like his popularity will go higher. Though he can react in a more dramatic way this year, he could also have a lot of inspiration for his work coming from his emotions.

ᯓ★ Mercury 1H can be a sign of JK standing more for himself this year. JK can also be more confident about his opinions. He can discover a lot about himself too, and perhaps even learn something new about him.

ᯓ★ Leo Mercury can mean JK can speak in a more confident way this year, and can be more confident in his ideas, and what he believes in. He can speak louder too, or just be more proud and less shy about his voice. JK can also talk a lot about what inspire him this year.

ᯓ★ Moon conjunct Mercury can mean JK will speak more about his feelings and his emotions, how things make him feel. He can be more real with people such as ARMY on certain situations. He will say what he thinks and thinks what he says.

ᯓ★ Part of Fortune 2H can be another big sign of having money this year, being lucky with money. JK can def attract a lot of money. Could also mean a glow up, JK can take better care of himself and put more money in clothings for example.

ᯓ★ Sun conjunct POF can be a sign JK will be more lucky this year.

ᯓ★ Venus 2H can be a sign JK will make more money this year. I guess also strange in a way to say that about him, but I truly think he will make a deal that can make him have more money. He can attract more in general, and he can also buy more clothing, luxuries, etc. We could also see JK be more in touch with his feminine side, perhaps also doing photoshoots with more feminine vibe perhaps!

ᯓ★ Juno 3H is a sign of this year being the year he will meet or see his Future Spouse! Many people asked me this, I think they won't meet for sure this year. But I think with this placement JK will be introduced to his FS online. I think he will see her online, on social media, and won't totally be able to reach out.

ᯓ★ Briede 3H means something similar, but the fact that Briede and Juno conjunct each other is a great sign. I think JK will def encounter his FS online this year. This can also be a sign of getting to know your FS better, learning more infos about your FS, etc.

ᯓ★ Vertex 5H is a sign JK will live a transformative experience in his love life. Perhaps also Something significant will happen to him this year. It can also mean he will get a sudden good idea or inspiration.

ᯓ★ Pluto 6H is an indictor or losing or gaining weight! JK could gain weight this year, but it can be muscles since Pluto trine Mars. JK could also overwork himself this year, perhaps working so much he can get sick because of that.

ᯓ★ Saturn 8H can mean JK can feel stuck in his inner world, he could actually realize something needs to change in his life. He needs to face what needs to change and do some actions towards it. It can still be hard and confusing since Neptune is there too. Saturn also opposite Sun, which means this transformation JK will need to get this year will be hard on him.

ᯓ★ Neptune 8H can mean JK can be confused about his spirituality this year. He can have signs, and even be lead to be more open on this side of his life, but he can be confused about what to do. He can also be more into occult and esoteric researches.

╰┈➤ Get your own Solar Return Chart, from 15€ to 50€ ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪

ᯓ★ Chiron 9H can be a sign of JK learning a hard and painful lesson when it comes to spirituality this year. Can be about friendship, online presence, community, fandom, perhaps JK will realize something painful about his relationship to ARMY.

ᯓ★ MC Taurus can be a sign of JK having a pleasant reputation. JK can be seen as respectable, someone who is hard working and works well. Someone who has a lot of money too, someone people should respect. He can also be admired for his beauty. Because his Solar Return MC falls in his Natal 5H, he could also be seen as a true artist, someone who has a lot of imagination. JK can perhaps even touch to the movie making world this year more than before.

ᯓ★ Uranus 10H is something I wanted to talk about for sure here. This placement is gonna make some noise I think. So Uranus 10H is a sign of a major and perhaps sudden change in one's career. The thing is, Uranus is ruled by Aquarius, and JK has Aquarius 7H, which is the house of contract and partnership. Now, hear me out. I think JK will change his contract perhaps with HYBE this year. There is a major change, and since 10H Ruler in 2H is here, he can get a lot of money from this. Or actually be the winner in this change. Uranus 10H can also be a sign of being fired, but I don't see it particularly here. But the change will def give JK a lot of money, and also attention. JK will also perhaps be seen in a different light. He will want to change his reputation. JK can also do a project in his career that no one will be expecting, and it will make him get a lot of money.

ᯓ★ Jupiter 11H is a sign JK will achieve dreams, and goals he had. He could also meet new people or feel very blessed with people who are around him. JK will spend more time with people this year. He could also have new goals and will be very into achieving them. He could be veryyyy popular this year.

ᯓ★ Mars 11H means JK will have more popularity this year. He can find himself meeting new friends, but at least this means everyone will wanna be his friends. He can find himself being chased after people wanting to be close to him. JK can collab with a lot of different people, he will be approached mostly. He can also be seen more with friends.

ᯓ★ 1H Ruler in 2H can mean changing aesthetic, changing how you look. JK can change his style this year, his appearance, perhaps his hair, etc. He can also buy new clothings. JK can also happen to shop more this year, and be more interested in fashion. He can spend more money on himself too.

ᯓ★ 2H Ruler in 1H is very similar to the one I just said. Overall, spending a lot of money on himself and for himself. He can also make a lot of money because of him, his appearance. Perhaps he can get more modeling contracts.

ᯓ★ 3H Ruler in 2H can mean JK can post a lot about his new aesthetic online, or he can show more his outfits, or we will have more contents on jk's outfits lol. More people can talk about his fashion sense, and he can do it too.

ᯓ★ 4H Ruler in 6H can mean jk can find a new routine at home, or with family. He can also work with family members, or he can also move in or live often with a coworker. He can also live in his office lol, or his work can become a comfort place.

ᯓ★ 5H Ruler in 11H can mean he can become very inspired by his friends. But it can mean having a crush on someone online, on a friend, etc.

ᯓ★ 6H Ruler in 8H can mean JK's routine at work will change, transform this year. He can do new projects that will make him go out of his comfort zone he was used to in his career. Since JK will go out of Military in June 2025, this can also translate change in his career (Military to being a Singer again).

ᯓ★ 7H Ruler in 10H is a change in relationships! JK can have a sudden change in his relationships, but also this can mean he will change his contract with HYBE perhaps.

ᯓ★ 8H Ruler in 8H is a sign of having a deep transformation. JK can change a lot of things about himself this year, perhaps it's a year JK will change his appearance, his relationship with his fans, he can also change his career, goals. He will not be the same man. Though, this is part of the process. He can also discover more about himself this year.

ᯓ★ 9H Ruler in 11H can mean having long distance friendships, perhaps he can have friends who live abroad lol. Or he can also be away from his friends and mostly communicate online with them. He can learn a lot on social medias in general, if he wanna learn or study something, internet will be his best friend! He can also be truly inspired by his relationships and friends.

ᯓ★ 10H Ruler in 2H can mean making more money because of work. JK can happen to do a change in his career that will bring him more money for sure. He can change his aesthetic at work too.

ᯓ★ 11H Ruler in 1H can mean JK can be more present on social medias this year, or he can change his aesthetic online too. He can also be more talked about online.

ᯓ★ 12H Ruler in 12H means it can be a more spiritual year for JK. JK can be more spiritual. He can feel more alone, and desire to be more alone, on his own. He can also be more private about what he feels this year. This is also an indicator of sleeping more.

Thank you for reading!

back to index ; ask ; request ; rules

[absolutebl]

Could you recommend me 1-2 good "standard" bl from each of the main bl producing countries (China, Japan, Taiwan, Thailand and South Korea)? I'm interested in the differences in tropes and execution between bl from different countries, especially Taiwan and Thailand. I'm looking for bl that's highly rated because it's well-executed but doesn't stray from the expected formula for its region.

Great BLs that ALSO rep for their country's style

I really took the "represent" part seriously. Here are my (end of 2024) quick pulls, explanations etc in the linked posts at the bottom.

Japan

Seven Days (or I Cannot Reach You)

Old Fashion Cupcake

For the darker stuff: Tokyo in April is

Korea

Semantic Error

To My Star

For their new style of darker stuff: The 8th Sense or Love for Love's Sake

Thailand

These were absolutely the hardest to pick, so I couldn't stick to 2. There's just so much Thai BL.

My School President - best high school rep (heritage = Love of Siam, Love Sick, the true Thai BL beginnings)

Bad Buddy - best uni BL rep (heritage = 2gether, SOTUS, the beginning of Thai BL global dominance) alternative = Oxygen which is possibly the most classic Thai uni BL we have ever gotten (but Bad Buddy is better acted)

We Are - best GMMTV ensemble piece, heritage is actually also Love Sick, but in 2024 everyone is gay.

Lovely Writer - best meta

My Ride - best pulp

The Sign - best wild what-the-actual-fuck? ride (KinnPorshe also an option)

For an example of the few times Thailand got elevated: I Feel You Linger in the Air or A Tale of Thousand Stars. But these are atypical, we only get a few of them a year from Thailand.

Taiwan

These were the easiest to pick.

We Best Love

Be Loved In House: I Do

But actually: History 4: Make Our Day's Count will tell you everything you ever needed to know about Taiwanese BL in one mess of a show. It's just... not that great.

China

Addicted

Word of Honor

The Philippines

Gameboys

My Day

Vietnam

Mr Cinderella

My Lascivious Boss

But by most standards neither of these are actually very good.

Here's a 2022 post where I talk about the differences between country's styles and approaches.

If you want representative samples from a historical perspective than I do that here:

In that post, you'll need to decide what kind of representation you want to consume though, because some are very old, and others newer, since this is set up to learn about the evolution of the genre.

I also wrote a whole series on the history of the genre along with my top 10 picks at the time (2022). It's old now but still holds up for what you want. I would say pick any two from the top ten of each list, but please understand my personal taste leans toward the lighter fluffier fare. (Which means my top ten from places like Japan is very skewed. Also several countries have added new top 10, for me personally, in 2023 & 2024).

Here's a fun one on the tropes people love in the different countries

And a personal favorite, very silly and not helpful at all.

(source)

[mochinek0]

Daminette December 2023: 27-Be Positive

CONTINUATION OF 12-BETRAYAL

"Are you sure it's okay to have a watch party here at your place, Alya?" Lila questioned.

"Are you kidding me?" Alya cried out, "It's not every day we get to see your boyfriend, Damian Wayne, on TV!"

"Did you really invite the old class?" Lila asked.

"It's like a mini reunion!" Alya giggled, "We still don't know where Marinette is, so she won't be here, if that's what you are worried about."

Lila remained silent. Marinette hadn't gone to high school with the rest of them. The class had asked her parents, but they just said she transferred elsewhere. There wasn't any reason to bring the baker's daughter into the mix that day. No one had seen her in years and as far as they knew, she never went home.

"I'm so glad we can watch it togther." Lila smiled, "I would have been there, but I have to fly with my mother to Italy tomorrow so I couldn't go."

Soon, everyone arrived. They got snacks and drinks, ready to watch the Wayne Christmas Gala on the TV.

"The Wayne family is finally here!" the announcer declared, "It seems we have the whole family in attendance! Bruce Wayne and his fiancée, Selina Kyle. We have Dick Grayson and it seems his wife and daughter aren't here this time. It seems a miracle is upon us; Jason Todd is in attendance. We also have the Co-CEO of Wayne Enterprise tonight, Tim Drake."

"It seems Damian Wayne decided to join us tonight." the announcer continued.

"I can't wait for you to see him!" Lila cooed, "I wish he had more free time so he could come to Paris and meet you all! He's so handsome!"

Damian appeared on the screen.

"Oh, he is cute."

"Not really my type, but okay."

"He looks like this dad."

"Is it me or does he look pissed off?"

"Oh, it seems he brought his newly announced fiancée, Marinette Dupain-Cheng!" the announcer declared.

Lila's jaw dropped.

"Marinette!"

"Woah! She looks completely different."

"She grew her hair out! It's so long!"

"Remember whn she wore pigtails?"

Both Damian and Marinette stopped in front of the cameras for pictures.

"For those of you who don't kno the story behind Gotham's couple, it all started when Marinette Dupain-Cheng joined Wayne Enterprises at the age of eighteen." the announcer spoke, "At the age of twenty, she was running their fashion department and that is when Damian met her. Damian Wayne has stated in several interviews how he was , at first, determined to close down the department. That desire is wheat led him to meet her. We have learned that she did not cater to the Wayne ego and told him to leave her alone. Over time, Damian kept a watchful eye on her and even went as far as accusing her of seducing him. When he confronted her, months later, she punched him and quit. Bruce and Timothy Drake-Wayne begged her to stay, even attempting to raise her commission price to $200,000 for every design her completed."

The room was silent as they listened to the couple's tale.

"In the end, Marinette only desired Damian to apologize." the announcer laughed, "Our local Ice Prince then confessed he had found her attractive and distracting. It has been five years since that fated day when they started going out."

Across the screen showed pictures of the out on dates, walking in the park, eating at resturants; both cute and fancy.

"Just last month, Damian Wayne proposed." the announcer spoke, "Let's see if we can get a word in. Mr. Wayne, Miss Dupain-Cheng, there's a question viewers are dying to know."

"Maybe, we can answer." Marinette replied.

"Aside from her beauty, what drew you to dating Miss Dupain-Cheng?" they questioned.

Marinette covered her mouth, but the audio picked up a slight snort.

Damian blushed, "I was raised by my mother who taught me women were meant to be valued by thir strength, not their appearance. Marinette showed me how strong she was; that day I asked her out after she punched me in the face. Marinette is kind, smart, strong, a leader, and confident. I couldn't imagine anyone else by my side."

"Thank you for you answer, Mr. Wayne." the announced replied, shcoked, letting them walk off, "Well, there you have it folks. Out Ice Prince was dethawed by some heated words and a heated punch by Gotham's very own Sunshine!"

The TV cut to commercial and all hell broke loose.

"Lila, what the hell was that?"

"Didn't you say you were dating Damian Wayne?"

"Yeah!"

"Why is he with Marinette?"

"Why is he engaged to Marinette?"

"Are you 100% positive that you're dating Damian Wayne?"

"You think she's lying?"

"I just want to make sure before we blast Damian Wayne online as a cheater!"

"He cheated on Lila and deceived Marinette! The media is saying he's been with Mari for five years! Lila said they've been together for two years!"

"Do you have any pictures? We can use that as proof!"

"Knowing Marinette, she may just say that you're 'lying again'. She wouldn't believe you!"

Lila gulped, "I-I was lied to."

"Huh?" questioned Nino.

"The person I was dating said he was Damian Wayne, but he doesn't look like the guy on TV. I was too speechless when he came out on the screen to say anything. I'm sorry for the confusion." Lila admitted.

"Well, you better call him and tell him you just saw the Wayne Gala and know he isn't the real Damian Wayne!" shouted Alix.

"Wow! I can't believe that Marinette has been in Gotham!" spoke Nathaniel.

"Are your kidding? She's engaged to one of the world's billionares and is and is a fashion director for their company!" Kim exclaimed, "I wonder when she is coming back."

"Why would she come back here?" Adrien questioned, "Paris may be the fashion capital, but why would you lose a really good job like that?"

"Marinette's about to become Mrs. Wayne!" Rose cried out, excited.

Lila stood up, suddenly.

"Hey, are you okay?" Alya asked.

Lila had tears in her eyes, "I-I need to make a call."

"Do you need one of us to go with you?" Mylene asked out of concern.

Lila just shook her head.

Lila left the room, sobbing. After all she had done, Marinette had still won. Marinette had moved on. The baker's daughter had left the losers behind and rose the ranks to glory. She was on the verge of being fired from Gabriel. Adrien wasn't dating her, still, and was dating some other model from Shanghai. She was positive that Marinette hadn't thought of her in years. She had ruined her own life by turning Marinette against her. She had turned the person who would be the richest into her enemy and she knew she would never get a chance to have the life she desired.

TAGLIST: @maribat-calendar-events @animeweebgirl@a-star-with-a-human-name@meme991001@vixen-uchiha@abrx2002@alysrose-starchild@fandom-trapped-03@dood-space@moonlightstar64@saltymiraculer@marveldcedits20@09shell-sea09@icerosecrystal@animegirlweeb@insane-fangirl-of-everything@blueblossombliss@nickristus-dreamer@megawhitleycalderonpaganus@missmadwoman@meira-3919@princessdaisysolosyourfaves@blep-23@fangirlingfanatic@darkhinauniverse@ravenr22@im-a-satanic-ritual@ravennm84@bianca-hooks123@a-slytherinish-gryffindor@starling218

[sotwk]

Taken (Eomer x unnamed OC )

Part 1 of 3

Part 2 / Part 3

Love Confession feat. Eomer Eadig

Valentine 2023 Event by @sotwk

Summary: The lone shield-maiden in Eomer's Éored has been secretly in love with him for years, but has long accepted that that he can never share those feelings. At the feast of King Elessar's coronation, she is surprised to learn that there may yet be hope.

Prompt: "It's like you never really see me. I'm standing right in front of you and you don't see me!"

Requested by and Dedicated to: @writefortherain-blog Thank you for making this request and giving me the opportunity to write for Eomer!

Word count: 2.4k

Content: Romance, angst, mutual pining, oblivious to love, jealousy, forbidden relationship, class division, shield-maiden, King Eomer, post-RotK

Rating: T (Teens and up)

Warnings: Some sensuality

To Read on AO3: Link

Taken 

Third Age 3019 May 1

Minas Tirith

PART ONE

Downing that fourth cup of wine had been a mistake. Or was it the fifth? Sixth? The ridiculous dress with its rib-crushing bodice and neckline positioned nowhere near your neck, had also been a mistake, even though the local clother had insisted to you that it was in the "proper" Gondorian fashion. The entire evening and its inconveniences had all been for a failed end. 

You finally jostled your way out of the packed feasting hall and stumbled outside to the courtyard, your compressed lungs and flushed skin rejoicing at their contact with the cool night air. One hand rose to massage your throbbing temple, and the other clawed irritatedly at the boning that caged in your unacceptably unfeminine frame. 

"Never again," you seethed under your breath, as you crossed the white-stone pavement to move even farther away from the chaos you escaped. 

It had been a painful decision to ride out to Minas Tirith with the rest of your Éored and attend the coronation of the returned King of Gondor. You despised grand affairs, knowing well enough the requirements rules of court would impose on you, unwieldy formal attire being just one of them. These were at least tolerable within Rohan, where you could find some comfort amongst familiar faces and settings. But as the lone female who rode in the company of the Third Marshal, you refused to be excluded from any undertaking by your Éored, however dangerous or unpleasant. Whether it broke your arm or shattered your heart.

"I can just go," you thought, casting a quick glance back at the great hall, alive and alight with the merry cacophony of a thousand revelers that would surely last until dawn. The two hours you already spent mingling to the best of your limited ability had to suffice, and it was doubtful your presence would even be missed. 

But the call of a deep voice stalled your retreat, loud and commanding and instantly recognizable even across a distance as it shouted your name. The soldier in you succumbed to the instinct to obey your Marshal, to honor the oath you had sworn on your knees years ago. 

The flickering flames of nearby torchlights reflected against the carved silver panels of the breastplate he donned over his lavishly embroidered tunic. Famously handsome even when caked in blood and grime, Eomer was breathtakingly resplendent bearing the regalia that befitted his station. King Eomer now, you reminded yourself, as you dipped your head in a bow. 

“My lord.”

“Is something amiss? Why did you leave?” His narrowed eyes upon you were penetrating, his tone demanding rather than concerned. Lying to someone you had spent practically every single day of your adult life with was difficult, and even more so with an addled brain, so you knew you had to mince words carefully.  

Fortunately, you had years of practice doing exactly that. 

“I underestimated the potency of their vintage, and downed one cup too many.” You scrunched up your features in a grimace that just slightly exaggerated your pain. “I thought it best to excuse myself and retire for the night.”

“Perhaps if you rested a while and ate some food…” He rested a hand lightly on your shoulder. “It is much too early and the quarters would still be empty. I know you detest fraternizing, but just sit at the table with the rest of our men.”

You released a graceless guffaw and a puff of wine-tinged breath. “Half of them are already deeper in their cups than I, and getting sloppier by the second. I finally had to remind Héothain of his manners the second time he tried to sneak a hand down the front of my dress.”

“He did what?” Eomer’s sudden growl awakened you to your own carelessness and slip of the tongue. Smooth-cheeked Héothain was the youngest and newest addition to the Éored, and remained sorely lacking in experience with women. He should not be held accountable for his awkwardness amplified by insobriety. 

“It was a silly mistake that caused no harm,” you insisted, pulling back as Eomer attempted to lead you off by the elbow. “Two sprained fingers taught him a lesson he shall not soon forget.” 

Eomer glowered at you but remained silent for a pause, as he did whenever running through courses of action in his mind. “Then you can come sit by me at the King’s table.”

Your laugh in response to that suggestion was shrill and nervous, as he looked so serious making it. “I most certainly cannot… my lord.” You stated your defiance firmly, baring a toothless pertinacity against your leader, and underneath it a silent plea that the friend in him would understand. “There is no place for me amongst such esteemed company and truly, there is nothing in the world I would enjoy less at this moment.” 

You sighed and braced one hand below your rib area, massaging a spot where the corset dug into a still-tender battle injury. 

“Please. Let me go back to my room where I can be rid of these dreadful garments.”

“No.” The immediacy and sharpness of his refusal made you blink in surprise. “Not until you explain yourself to my satisfaction.”

“Pardon, my lord?”

“Hah, there! That is what I am speaking of.” 

“I’m afraid I don’t understand--”

“When did you cease to call me by my name in private conversation? Or last bother to converse with me at all?!” You took too long to answer, and he barreled on, hazel eyes flashing with the sudden rise of agitation. “Let me enlighten you, since I recall it well. It began after Theodred’s death, accompanied by a host of other changes in your behavior towards me that you think I have not noticed!”

You scrambled to concoct a rebuttal, another feint to keep him from uncovering your secrets. Alas, your dulled mind had frozen completely in the face of the horse-lord’s fury, which had never been directed at you in such a manner.

“You are misreading things, my lord, or else imagining them. I cannot say that I--”

“You cannot even look me in the eye these days of late!” Eomer snapped. “Nor can you stand to be in any room I am in for long.” He threw out his arm in the direction of the great hall. “Even now you rebuff any attempt I make to spend time with you.”

“I…I…” You stammered, rendered helpless before his unexpected wrath, cursing yourself for the poor timing of your inebriation. How could you put up your shields when your mind was struggling to pick out your own lies from the truth?

“If you are angry with me, I would have you admit to it now. I will no longer be played for a fool.”

Indignation pooled in your gut, crawling upward until it deepened the coloring of your already flushed face. “I confess to nothing! For what cause do I have to be angry?”

“Because you loved him!” Eomer erupted. As you gaped at his outburst, he gripped a fistful of his hair, and took in one sharp breath, steeling himself. “You loved Theodred,” he finally said, in a voice gone cold and quiet. “And you place blame on me for his death.”

The fire in your belly flared at the terrible accusation. “Theodred was murdered by Saruman, and only a traitor would fault you for that vile cur’s deed.” You shook a finger at him emphatically. “I am no traitor.”

“Did you love my cousin?”

“Of course I did,” you said stoutly. The prince’s demise plagued you still, for you had been the one to spot Theodred’s body amongst the corpses that littered the fords. And after he’d been borne away to Meduseld, you never saw him alive again, and all you could do was weep in the privacy of your quarters, which you did for weeks, mourning the loss of so much more than a dear friend and mentor. 

“No one has ever shown me greater kindness than Theodred.” You held a hand over your heart as a different ache rose in you. “He believed in me at a time when no one else would, not even you." 

Eomer had fallen silent, but you saw his cloaked shoulders rise and fall, broad chest heaving in the manner so familiar to you. It was the way he looked on the battlefield, where his blood ran hottest, and he was fighting to balance out the genteel lord and savage killer that both resided within him. He was so thoroughly upset with you. 

“If I have made you feel like your cousin’s fate was in any way your fault, I am truly sorry,” you said. "But what sort of questions are these, and why are you asking them now?"

His gaze flicked back in your direction, leaden with anguish. "You should know why."

“I am telling you I do not, my lord, and I must beg you to explain why you are speaking so cryptically."

“You wish for me to explain in words something I have been trying to show you for years now?!” He gave a strangled laugh and raised his eyes and hands to the night sky. "Bema…"

“It is as though you never really see me,” he muttered, almost as though speaking to himself. “Here I am, standing right in front of you, and you do not see me!"

But you did hear his mumbled complaints, and suddenly it was all too much. Your sickening weariness, your aches both physical and emotional, your befuddlement caused by the six drinks and this man's unhinged raging as he launched yet another ludicrous accusation at you.

"Not see you?" you repeated, and something about just saying it rammed open the gate behind which you had caged up every real thing you ever wanted to say to Eomer, Son of Eomund. 

"If such a thing were possible, I would wish it upon myself immediately!" you exclaimed. "But you are all I ever see, even when I do not wish to! Even when I flee from your presence, I can never escape a face that refuses to leave my thoughts!" 

Oh Valar, no. STOP. Panicked, you bit down on your lip to imprison the words fleeing your mouth, so hard you tasted blood. But Eomer suddenly moved forward, encroaching on the space you desperately fought to maintain for your own protection, and his hazel eyes locked into yours to wrench away the last of your defenses. 

"It hurts too much, can you not understand?!" you cried, managing one step back. "To remain in the presence of the one thing you most desire but will never have, to be taunted by a dream that will never be fulfilled, to watch as it falls into the possession of another while you can do absolutely nothing!"

He spoke your name, his voice oddly hoarse, and shame finally came crashing down inside you. Your hands flew up to hide your face and suddenly he grabbed your wrists, tugging your arms away only to replace your hands with his own, warming your cheeks with his calloused palms. 

“Then see me now,” he ordered. “And know I have always understood how that feels. What great fools we have both been all along to deny ourselves our true desires.”

“Eomer, what--” The stroke of his thumb over the corner of your mouth drove the rest of the words away, and the parting of your lips and flutter of your eyes gave him the approval he sought. 

His kiss tasted more glorious than they did in a thousand daydreams combined. It did not surprise you that he was completely unlike the other men you had kissed before. Whereas lesser men were greedy and sloppy in their hunger, the caress of Eomer’s mouth was deep and languid, almost worshipful in its exploration of your lips, as though he aimed to savor every small sensation and intended to carry on doing this with you forever. 

His one arm looped around your waist to hold you covetously against him; his broad left hand traveled from your cheek to cradle the back of your neck, his long fingers burying themselves into your hair, tips grazing your scalp. It fired up a new heat in you that you had never felt before, not with such raw intensity, and a tremulous whimper escaped your throat. 

But the sound of your own pleasure was your undoing, for it triggered an alarm in your head, one that caused you to break away from Eomer’s passion. You mumbled against his lips the words you had conditioned yourself for years to think around him. 

“My lord, I cannot…”

He paused, his eyes still dazed and unfocused, caught in a state of bliss--one that you caused, you realized with a shiver. “You cannot… what?” he said thickly. Without waiting for an answer, he dipped back in eagerly to trail his mouth up your jawline, his tongue skimming the tender pulse underneath your ear. 

You gave a small cry and pushed against his chest with more force, immediately waking his attention. His arm around your waist remained stubbornly secure however, and it took you physically prying the powerful limb off for you to slip free. Either due to shock or lingering delirium, Eomer did not resist. 

“I cannot…” Your voice broke even as you clung to your resolve. “I cannot have you.”

His heavy brows furrowed. “What?” Within seconds the confusion lifted to uncover his dismay, layered with anger. “You would speak lies and nonsense again, after everything I told you?”

“It is the truth, Eomer!” You started backing away already, stepping faster and faster as he began to move and reach out for you. “You can never be anything more than a dream to someone like me. I cannot have what is already taken.”

“Taken? What--wait! No!” He started to run, but you had already turned heel and were sprinting full-speed towards the Citadel Gate. You had always been faster on your feet; there was no hope of him catching up if you refused to heed his orders. “Stop!”

His shouts of your name faded quickly, drowned out by the noise of the milling crowd you plunged into and the thunder of your own frantic heartbeat. You slowed to a walk but kept a quick pace, weaving haphazardly through the throng and on and on until you’d descended at least two levels. Only then did you duck into a side street and survey your surroundings.

Your escape succeeded. Neither Eomer nor any Rohirrim were anywhere to be found, at least for the moment.

You collapsed upon the nearest doorstep, exhaustion and aches finally overcoming you. As the chaotic whirlwind within you settled, so too did the reality of what just occurred sink in. 

Eomer desired you, perhaps even loved you as you did him. But the King of Rohan’s love was not for you, a common soldier, to take. You had known that all along, and he did too. It was unkind of him to give you such false hope. 

Raising your fingers to your swollen lips, you felt the ghost of his perfect kisses on them, and finally burst into tears over yet another memory that will grieve you until your trampled heart could bear no more.

To be continued...

Tag list: @aduialel @fizzyxcustard @laneynoir @auttumnsayshi @achromaticerebus @friendofthefellowshipsnerdblog @blueberryrock @scyllas-revenge @glassgulls @ladyweaslette @heilith @absentmindeduniverse @lathalea @guardianofrivendell @quickslvxr @asianbutnotjapanese @heranintomyknife23times @entishramblings

For more of my stories, please see My Masterlist.

If you would like to be added to my tag list, please sign up here: Tag List Sign-Up.

[emkayewrites]

A snippet from my Lukola fanfiction: steamy edition! TW for smut~

13th July 2023 – London (UK)

Luke Newton: How far away are you?

A smile stretched across Nicola’s face as she typed out a reply on her mobile phone.

Nicola Coughlan: I’m sending you my live location.

The response was instant.

Luke Newton: It’s not as fun as you trying to tell me where you are and failing.

Nicola Coughlan: I’m doing my best!

Luke Newton: You’re nowhere near Canary Wharf.

Nicola Coughlan: My head barely reaches up to the window.

Nicola Coughlan: Did I mention I’m very small?

Luke Newton: Being short can’t be an excuse for everything.

Nicola giggled out loud at his response and then remembered where she was.  She looked self-consciously at the front seat of the car she was in.  The middle-aged taxi driver was staring straight ahead, his eyes bloodshot, and his face slightly weary.  He gave no indication that he had noticed her sudden giddiness. 

God, was she giddy.

Her life felt like it had never been better.

The last few weeks had allowed her to finally be in the same city as Luke and they had taken every opportunity possible to be together, usually at her apartment or his.  This had also been an incredibly busy time for both, and they had been pivotal cheerleaders for one another as they went through career milestones.  When Luke was invited to Wimbledon for the first time as a guest of GQ, he had responded in true Luke fashion: with joy at being acknowledged but also severe anxiety at the whole idea of being a fashion object of some sort.  She was fast learning how much he loved being an actor but how much he equally struggled with just being Luke at these events – being most comfortable when he could disappear into a role.  She had reminded him how only a year ago, he had teased her about her own Wimbledon appearances and now here he was – being a fashion icon at a top British sporting event.  She found the way he blushed in response to her praise endearing.   She loved how quick he was to remind her that she was invited to several Wimbledon events this year and was constantly being revered in the fashion pages for her style – she loved this not because she wanted him to admire her but because it demonstrated how humble he was.  He never wanted the spotlight for too long, and he was all too happy to cast it back on her. 

In their personal lives, they had not been shy about demonstrating their affections for each other around people they knew.  She attended the wrap party for The Shape of Things as his date; they had walked in together and then spent most of the night pressed up against the side of the bar, not-so-discreetly making out, much to everyone else’s amusement.  They had decided they did not want to nor feel the need to be more public, with both agreeing not to post anything on their respective social media accounts or to discuss their relationship in the press.  They knew that at some point, talking about each other would be inevitable but they were keen to keep as much of their relationship for themselves for as long as possible.

Nicola thought about how she had never felt so good in herself.  She was in the city of her dreams, with a burgeoning career, and with a boyfriend with his own successes, and they were both aligned in their core values.  They just seemed to fit.

How the hell does it get better than this?

Some days, she worried about whether she was peaking too soon – in both her career and love.  She dismissed these thoughts quickly, and usually on that kind of day, there was something consuming on her schedule that distracted her from the fears.

It was this kind of high that Nicola was riding as she sat in the back of the taxi, watching London landmarks whizz past her.  When she looked down at her outfit or caught a glance of her reflection in the wing mirror, she really wanted to pinch herself.

She was dressed in an outfit that she could only describe as being from her literal dreams.  The true credit had to go to Aimee, but Nicola could not help but to admit that she was the one who made the dress look damn good.  She was in a silver corseted gown that was covered all over with Swarovski glass crystals.  Off-setting the shimmering outfit were her freshly dyed red locks which were beautifully styled into soft curls that framed her face, and her make-up was doll-like but subtle, with soft pink lips and light pink contouring.  She felt good.

Only hours before, she had walked onto a bright pink carpet to flash bulbs, screaming fans and an endless litany of famous faces at the London premiere of Barbie.  It was a film that had hype - it was breaking records in the worldwide box office as well as shaping popular culture.  She had negotiated interviewers and photographers, and she had become keenly aware how much attention she was getting.  Even further validation had come in the form of messages from friends and family who were at home watching the photos of celebrities at the premiere come in on their social media feeds.  Luke was the most enthusiastic of them all, sending her screenshots of herself on the carpet a mere ten minutes after she had taken them with statements like: “How are you a real person?”

She would be lying to herself if she said that she was able to sit inside Cineworld in Leicester Square with A list stars and watch one of the most hotly anticipated films of the year that she herself was featured in and fully appreciate it.  Of course, she was excited to be there, and it was a special thing to be around such talented people and to celebrate a project like this.  However, there was a part of her that wished Luke was there by her side, not sat at home avidly scanning Instagram Live and Twitter feeds for scraps.  He could have been there as one of her guests and kept Grainne company in the family and friends seating, but they had both decided against it.  They reasoned that it did feel too exposing, and anyway, if they were not able to sit by each other’s side, it did not feel worth it.

It was in this spirit that she had found herself ending her night a little earlier than she usually would at an event like this.  She navigated her way into one of the free taxis provided by the press team and asked them not to take her to the afterparty, giving them Luke’s address instead.  She had texted her sister to let her know she would not be at said party, to which her sister had responded in her usual nonchalance:

Grainne Coughlan: Do I need you to get in?

Classic Grainne – straight to the point.

Nicola Coughlan: Not if you’ve got your premiere tickets

Grainne Coughlan: Alrighty

Nicola Coughlan: I won’t be there though

Grainne Coughlan: But Margot Robbie will

Grainne Coughlan: So I’ll live

Nicola Coughlan: Don’t do anything to tarnish the Coughlan name

Grainne Coughlan: I only want a SMALL lock of her hair

Nicola Coughlan: I know you’re joking but still, the fear of God resides in me

Grainne Coughlan: Tell Lukey I said hi ;)

Before she knew it, Nicola arrived at the large Victorian terrace and hastily attempted to tip the driver, but he politely refused, insisting that tips were also taken care of for the night.  No sooner had the taxi left then the front door flung open and there stood Luke, his hair slightly tousled, in a white t-shirt and dark sweatpants.

She felt her heart race as he drank in her appearance.  His eyes seemingly bulged out of his head.

“Fuck.” He finally said. “You look….”

She felt herself blush.

She never blushed.

Jesus, what was this boy doing to her?

“You look too good to be stood on this street at this time of night.” He finally concluded, reaching out to take her by the hands and pull her into the house.

The door had barely closed behind them before they were all over each other.

This had become one of their main communication methods lately: tongues.

They always greeted each other with a hunger but tonight was different.  She could feel it.  Tonight was the night.    

It was a strange thing but in the last few weeks, despite numerous sleepovers, they had not got there yet.  Luke had insisted that he was not in any rush when it came to sex, and she herself had a sneaking suspicion that the romantic in him would not allow them to just fall into having sex one random night, she knew he wanted it to be special.  He had still not completely recovered from the way his plan to confess his feelings to her had fallen apart; he often expressed that he felt she deserved better than a phone call – not that it mattered to her.  She made it clear she was low maintenance in that regard.   

As the days had passed, Nicola had realised that most of their nights started off with a lot of kissing and touching, but also a lot of talking.  So much talking that often, the sun was starting to come up just as they were drifting off to sleep.  Nicola realised this was the first time she had been in an intimate relationship with someone who had been one of her best friends, and because of that, there was always so much to talk about. 

Well, some might call it talking but the more accurate term was gossiping.

They gossiped about everything and everyone.  Their worlds had been so intertwined, and they had shared so many experiences that they never ran out of things to comb over.  It was an intoxicating experience to be able to make out with your best friend in one breath, and then in another, be able to share your deepest, darkest thoughts about yourself or about people you knew.  It was a level of intimacy that was deep and terrifying.  She could not imagine being so emotionally open with anyone other than him.  There was also a deep desire within her to know him inside and out.  She wanted to know his thoughts all the time, and he seemingly felt the same way. 

Yet tonight, Nicola could tell they were both thinking about the same thing, and it wasn’t talking.

They stopped kissing for a moment and Luke delicately placed his hands around her waist, being careful to not cause damage.

“Well, all I’ve thought about since seeing pictures of you tonight is tearing this dress off you…” He stated.

“Ugh, no.” Nicola let out a small, disapproving gasp in response and peeled his hands off her waist. “I shouldn’t even be here in this dress.  I’m meant to literally extract myself out of it without it touching any of my make-up and put it into an airtight bag.”

“I know, I know.” He gave her a knowing smile.

Nicola gave him a puzzled look.  She knew him well enough to know he was up to something.

They were stood in the semi-lit hallway that had two doorways along it; one door led to a kitchen and living space and the other led to a bathroom.  Right next to them was a carpeted staircase with a wooden banister that led up to two bedrooms. 

Luke led her into the living room.  An ornately engraved fireplace, high ceilings and wooden floorboards made up the period features of the space which were coupled with modern touches that included a dark leather sofa, a dark green island and kitchen cabinetry and a large bookshelf containing a mixture of DVDs and books.

The first thing she noticed was that the usually bright room was dimly lit because the only source was lighting was candles.  So many candles.  Candles everywhere.  On the kitchen island. Along the bookshelves. On the mantlepiece.  The light bounced off the crystals on her dress making her literally shimmer. 

She felt silly at how oddly emotional the sight made her feel. 

“You’re glowing.” Luke whispered in her ear from behind her, as if reading her mind.  She felt his arms wrap around her from behind, felt his chest press up against her back as he placed a kiss on her neck.

“This is… this took you some time, huh?” She managed to croak out.

He laughed in response. “You have no idea.”

“And the fire hazard alone…” Nicola joined in with his laughter. “This is enough to give your landlord a stroke.”

Luke’s hands started to move carefully across the bodice of her dress, and she started to help him. Together, they identified the zip, and she let Luke tug at it so that the dress started to slide down her spine.  She started to extricate herself from the tight-fitting arms of the dress, until she was stood there in just a nude thong and bra with the fabric at her feet.  Luke gave her a hand as she stepped out of the gown and then dutifully bent down and to lift it up carefully by the sleeves.  He held it up before them, unblemished and without a single piece of embellishment missing.

“She’s perfect.” Nicola remarked. “Nicely done, sir.”

“Nearly three years of watching you get in and out of impossible gowns pays off.” Luke shrugged.

He took great pains to gingerly lay the dress across the length of the sofa.  For not the first time, Nicola felt a warm feeling travel through her.  The way he cared about the things she cared about was everything to her.  It was so unbelievably sexy that she had to have him, right there and then.  She grabbed him by the neck of his shirt and pulled him in for a kiss and he responded eagerly.  Before she could process what was happening, she was hoisted up, her legs wrapped around his waist, his hands groping at her waist and naked buttocks as he carried her back through the hallway and into the bathroom.  She gave little thought to the change of location.  It was hard to care about anything when your entire body felt like it was on fire.  She found her back pushed against the wall of the bathroom as they continued to kiss, but she wanted more.  She pulled her face away from him as she tugged his t-shirt up over his torso and his head, but it was slightly stuck around his neck.  He tried to assist despite his face being covered by the shirt, his arms flailing hilariously to get it over his head. 

She took in his body, his glistening abs, his biceps which bulged as they supported her weight; she found herself tracing kisses along his shoulder and up his neck as he let out a moan, finally freed from the shirt.  She felt the hardness between his legs, she tightened the grip of her legs around his waist, pulled her own soft wetness against his member and felt the hot frustration build in her at the barrier of fabric between them.  She wanted him in her.

Those sweatpants needed to come off.

She found herself tugging at them when Luke gently pulled back.

It was only then that she took in the room around them.  The bathroom was spacious and lined with wooden floorboards.  A glass walled rain shower stood to one side and a claw-footed bathtub to the other.  The entire room was also decorated with lit candles.  The bathtub was filled with foamy bubbles and rose petals.  A small side table stood by the tub with a bottle of champagne, a box of chocolates and two crystal flutes.  A bouquet of roses lay to one side.

“Wow…” Nicola gasped for the second time that night.

“I know how much you like a nice bath and some bubbles, and I thought you’d need it more tonight than anything.” He smiled.

“Oh, Luke, this is…” She found herself blinking back tears.

How was she ever going to top a day as good as this one?

She started to slip out of her thong and bra, her sudden nakedness feeling more apparent to her as she padded her way across the room to the bathtub.  She felt his eyes on her, his expression was one of someone spellbound. 

“I can’t be the only naked one.” She teased as she started to slide into the water.

He grinned back at her and in one sweeping movement, he pulled down his bottoms and boxers so that he was fully exposed to her.

“That’s a move right out of Magic Mike.” She managed to joke as most of the breath left her body.

The sight of him like that was almost too unbearable.  She really wanted him.

There were parts she had seen before of course.  You don’t film sexually explicit scenes like the ones they had and not see something.  Yet, there were definitely parts she had never seen before.  His erect penis being one of them.

How could someone be so perfectly sculpted?  She thought.

“Get over here.” She managed to say, her tone demanding.  Her desperation seemed to please him, he smirked in a self-satisfied way but obliged, and walked towards her, and then crouched beside her as she lay in the tub.

“What are you doing?” She frowned, impatience affecting her. “I want you. Get in.”

“I want to take care of you first…” He responded. “We need to get that make-up off you.”

He was right.  She was covered in body make-up and glitter.  Some of it was bleeding into the bubbles and petals, turning the water slightly amber.

“You’re pretty dirty…” He continued.  His hand reached into the water and was between her legs before she could respond.

Jesus fucking Christ, she had never been this horny in her life.

He used the firmness of his fingers against her, pressing and rubbing at alternating intensities that were somehow just right.  She closed her eyes tight and let out one moan and then many moans as pleasure took over every part of her body.   

“But you’re dirty in all the right ways…” He sounded breathless as he spoke, as his hand worked on her.  She could feel him vibrating with desire as he watched her writhe before him.

She began pushing herself into him, her hands gripping the bottom of the tub as she forced her pelvis against him.  Her back arched and she felt her breasts leave the warmth of the soapy water as they were thrust into the air, and then she felt the wetness of his mouth on her nipple, his tongue working on it as hard as his fingers were down there.

“Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck…!” She found herself practically screaming as she came.  Electric jolts travelled through her body.  She convulsed as the sensitivity in every nerve in her body increased.

“Fuck…..!” She sighed, her head against the porcelain of the tub, a bead of sweat travelling down her forehead. 

Before she had time to really catch her breath, Luke was pulling her up so that they were both stood, naked, pressed against one another as they entered a passionate kiss.

“Bedroom, please.” She managed to beg.

She wanted him inside her so badly.

He pulled her up, slippery and naked, so that her legs were around him again.  They continued to lock lips as he carried her out of the bathroom. 

They made it as far as the stairs.

Nicola learnt something that day: a wooden banister provides great support for certain physical activities.

(Excerpt taken from my fanfiction 'Curtain Fall')

[fereldanwench]

I didn't want to completely sit out a year-in-review, but for reasons I'll explain at the end of this post and under a cut, doing the traditional pick-one-pic-from-each-month approach just wasn't going to work for me. So instead, here are 20 of my favorite shots (in no particular order) of Valerie from 2023!

(I'll share solo Goro shots and shippy/story shots in two other posts before the year ends.)

Some thoughts about this year (cw for anxiety and depression mentions):

So yeah. I actually hadn't planned on joining in on the virtual photography year-in-review fun in part because... Well, frankly, I wasn't sure if it would actually be fun for me.

Although I do have pictures for every month, the first third, maybe even half, of the year was a struggle on almost every conceivable level. A lot of it was shit that carried over from the end of 2022, which was also an incredibly difficult year for me. I don't really want to delve too deeply into why--Some of it was personal, some of it was professional, some of it was fandom, and if you know, you know.

The main obstacle I had here is that looking at a lot of the shots I took from about January to May (give or take a few weeks on either end) honestly reminded me of Bad Times™️. I've worked really hard to pull myself out of that depression/anxiety cycle and return to a healthier approach to fandom and online socialization in general, but I just didn't want to spend a lot of time in that mental space. There are a few shots from those months that made it to my favorites, and I hope one day I can look back on that stuff and just feel the good from it again. Alas, that day is still not here.

But I am happy to report that the other reason I wanted to approach the review differently is a lot more positive! It's also two-fold: 1) I spent the earlier part of this year exploring more of a technical side of virtual photography and 2) I was really prolific the last third or so of this year so trying to narrow faves from about August until now was just not possible.

One of the few good things about the end of 2022 was being able to upgrade my graphics card, which meant I then had a rig that could support ray-tracing and hot sampling. As a result, I started putting a lot more focus on lighting and getting acquainted with new tools. I also was trying to work with the new AMM posing system, which is very convenient in some ways (100s of poses without reloading the game!) and a complete pain in the ass in others (can't move characters without their poses breaking!). Custom photomode poses + Nibbles Replacer has been the game changer I've been waiting for.

Or to put it more succinctly, December 2022 through about April 2023 felt like a relearning/return to basics kind of creative period, which is essential, but also means I just don't really like a lot of what I did, lmao.

Then, shockingly (I'm not shocked at all), starting treatment for my anxiety and depression in the second half of this year suddenly made creating a lot easier and fun again! Crazy how that works.

Even bumping this little review up to 20 shots instead of 12, there are still pictures from the past few months that I had to cut as favorites. There was just no way I could condense the amount of fave shots I took from August to now in just 5 options.

I also owe quite a bit of this revival to modders for asking me if I wanted to take shots for them--Exploring more of a fashion photography approach to my shots I think did a lot to build on what I had learned earlier in the year and encouraged me to try something new. I don't want to tag anyone in this long-ass glorified diary entry, but if you invited me to take mod shots for you, just know that it really meant a lot. ♡

And that's where my head has been with a yearly review! Is filling out a little template with 12 pictures this serious? No, it definitely is not, lmao. But hey, overthinking shit is still something I'm working on. ✌️

[mmmleckerlecker]

Snack Number Fourteen

Happy vore day 2023! Please enjoy this EXTREMELY self indulgent fic that’s been cooking in my brain for quite awhile now…

Summary: The predator had always prided himself on his self-control. And he really does like to make things last. Just another night with him and his (fourteenth) favorite snack.

Contents: m/m, cruel pred, willing pred, unwilling prey, non-fatal, pre-vore, partial digestion, post-vore (aka the main focus), regurgitation, I imagined a size-difference while writing but it’s never really specified

Wordcount: 5,301

* * * * * * * * * *

The predator came home that evening feeling exhausted. And absolutely starving.

He wished he could say that his work had ended once he’d left the office just a half hour ago, but he’d be lying. He knew very well that there was an extensive pile of paperwork just waiting for him on his desk at home. It really was going to be a long night.

Ah, well, no rest for the wicked and all that.

The predator did, fortunately, have at least one thing to look forward to that night, and he was very much looking forward to it. He could barely contain his excitement, nearly bouncing on his toes in a very un-predator-like fashion. But it had been so, so long. He could forgive himself this once for his lack of self-control.

And so the predator bounced his way upstairs, right to the locked doorway at the end of the hall. He pulled out a tiny silver key, slid it into the lock, and turned.

“Good evening, my little snack,” he said with a grin, flicking on the light of the now unlocked room. “You’re looking exceptionally… recovered tonight.”

The boy— fresh out of college, still so strong and vibrant— let out a groan.

“Please,” he begged as he squeezed himself into the farthest corner. “Not again. Please… just a little longer.”

The predator entered the room and smiled in a way which he considered warm and affectionate. Unfortunately, he must not have gotten it quite right because the closer he got, the more the boy only shrank and shivered away.

“Now, now,” the predator chided, crouching down in front of the boy. “It’s been weeks since last time. We’re more than overdue.” He reached out, ignoring the way his snack flinched away, and ran his fingers over the boy’s cheek. The flesh was riddled with burn scars but otherwise healthy. “See? You’ve already healed up.”

The boy didn’t answer. The predator tried smiling again, making sure to show all his teeth.

The boy had been living in this room for months now, which was a good deal longer than many of his predecessors. The predator had no inkling of the boy’s name, all he knew was that he was Number Fourteen. He didn’t really have any desire to learn the boy’s name either. To the predator, he was just another snack. The fourteenth snack, to be precise.

You see, the predator was a master of control, and whenever he found something he really liked, he liked to drag it out for as long as possible. When he was a boy, he once bought a lollipop that he enjoyed so much, he made it last for seven and one-quarter years. Every night like clockwork, he would take precisely one lick of the candy. No more, no less. Just enough to indulge in its sugary sweet flavor. And then he would carefully wrap it and put it away for the next day. He’d prided himself on his patience and pacing, even then.

Years later and the only thing that had changed were his tastes. Now his snacks were a bit more… complex.

“You’ll need to eat first, of course,” the predator continued to his snack. “And drink. We can’t have you getting de-hydrated now, can we?”

The boy was already shaking his head, but the predator didn’t pay him any mind. He knew what was best for his snack, what measures to take to make them last the longest. He’d gone through many trials and errors.

“Come now.”

The boy didn’t resist when the predator hoisted him to his feet. He’d given up fighting long ago. The predator led his snack down the hall, down the stairs, and into the dining room, where he bade him sit at the table. The boy obeyed, his scarred face looking utterly despondent.

“What do you say?” the predator asked as he opened one of the kitchen cabinets. “Beef stew for dinner? That is one of your favorites, isn’t it?”

This, of course, was a little inside joke between the two of them. Beef stew was the only thing the boy ever got for dinner. For some reason though, he didn’t seem to find this joke very funny. The predator let out a wistful sigh. Snack Number Thirteen would have laughed. Or at least offered one of the witheringly sarcastic remarks that he so loved. Even after all these months, the predator missed their heated banter.

The predator didn’t wait for an answer from his current snack before pulling one of the many cans of beef stew off the shelf. He poured it into a bowl, then very kindly heated it up in the microwave. He put the bowl and a cup of ice water on the table before the boy. The ice water was actually a special treat for tonight. Usually he only got room temperature water.

“Go on then,” the predator urged as he took the seat across from his snack. “Eat up!”

Ever so painfully slowly, the boy began to eat. The predator watched with keen interest. Every bite of food, every sip of water, every contraction of those beautiful throat muscles, just made him all the more hungry. He drummed his fingers impatiently on the table. Snack Number Fourteen shifted the spoon in his hand and cleared his throat.

“You don’t have to watch me eat,” he mumbled, eyes firmly locked on his half-empty bowl.

“Oh, but I very much do,” the predator told him, resting his chin in his hand. “I need to make sure you eat everything. And I need to know exactly when you’re done and ready. And besides that… I do enjoy watching my snacks feed themselves.”

The boy’s fingers squeezed at the handle of his spoon before he took one more deliberate bite.

Number Six had been a slow eater too. Even slower than Number Fourteen, surprisingly. She seemed to think she could put off the inevitable if she ate at the pace of a turtle in slow motion. The predator had always found that amusing. He had the patience of a saint, and a bowl of stew could only be stretched out for so long.

The predator smiled lazily at the memory. This seemed to unnerve his snack who happened to glance up at that moment. With a small intake of breath, the boy began scooping his stew with a bit more purpose than before.

In a few more minutes, the only thing he had left were a few last swallows of water. The predator watched, nearly quivering with anticipation. The last drops of water rolled so, so slowly past the boy’s lips. He swallowed. He set his glass down.

The predator lunged, unable to wait any longer. In the blink of an eye, he had the boy by his shirt and was yanking him across the table. Silverware, cup, and bowl were knocked carelessly to the side. The chair toppled backward as the boy kicked his feet, struggling fruitlessly as he was dragged across the table.

Snack Number Fourteen only managed a small cry of surprise before he was cut off by his head being shoved unceremoniously into the predator’s mouth.

The predator’s eyes fluttered shut and he let out a little moan of contentment. The first taste was always the best part, in his opinion. He took his first swallow, felt the way his throat stretched, and then had second thoughts on that opinion. Actually, he thought, it was the first swallow that was the best part. His fingers curled into the boy’s shirt, clinging to him and pulling him in further.

Ignoring the way his snack groped blinding at his face, the predator took another swallow. The boy’s shoulders stretched his throat even more and gave the added bonus on impeding his snack’s assault.

The predator considered the possibility of the second swallow being the best part.

He continued this reassessment after each greedy gulp. The third one began stretching his ribs apart in a sickeningly satisfying way. The fourth one saw him halfway through, right at the boy’s hips. It was at this point, Snack Number Fourteen’s head finally entered the predator’s stomach and the predator let out an involuntary shiver. He was sure now that the fourth swallow had to be the best part. Nothing could surpass this feeling.

But then he took his fifth swallow and he was forced to scoot his chair backwards, away from the table, to make room for his now rapidly expanding middle. His sixth swallow had his stomach stretching so much, he really didn’t think it could get any better than this, but then he was only at his snack’s knees! A seventh swallow and only the boy’s toes remained out in the open.

The predator touched a delicate hand to his throat so he could feel the last of his snack sliding down. He took his eighth swallow and closed his mouth as Snack Number Fourteen disappeared fully behind his lips. The last of the boy went smoothly down his throat, and the predator winced as his belly was stretched to maximum capacity. He even winced as it pressed painfully into the table he’d so politely just pushed himself away from.

Somewhat annoyed, he took another difficult scoot backwards, freeing himself from the confines of the table edge. Once a safe distance from the table, he allowed himself to relax in his chair. His eyes fell shut and his hands wandered quite greedily to the now healthy curve of his belly. A deep contentment spread through him as his fingers searched out the shape of his snack.

The boy, for his part, was shifting and stretching within, most likely trying to find the closest approximation to a comfortable position. Somehow the predator doubted there were many such positions in there, but really that was none of his concern. For his part, he was in heaven. And there was only one thing that could make it better.

With a dreamy sigh, he gave in and let his stomach come to life with the beginnings of digestion.

A wave of pleasure crashed over the predator, easing away the stress of his work day and making all that paperwork seem like a distant memory. If he could live in one moment forever, it would be this one. Full, warm, carefree. Even his snack could barely keep still. Although, it was doubtful from any kind of pleasure. More likely it would be the discomfort that came from slowly being digested alive.

He’d be perfectly safe however. Maybe a little worse for wear, but he’d come back up in one piece when the predator was through with him. Probably. You see, this is where the predator’s superior self control came in handy. His snacks were just too good to finish off altogether, so he’d learned just how much to slow his digestion and just how long they could last under those conditions. The boy was his lollipop, and once the predator had indulged in his single taste, he’d put him back in his wrapper for next time.

After several minutes of lounging comfortably and gently kneading his stomach into submission, the predator decided he’d stalled long enough. There was a pile of paperwork with his name on it just waiting for him.

But as he sat upright, the chair squeaking in protest, he realized just how sleepy his snack had made him. And though he fought so very valiantly to convince himself that work was more important, the need for sleep won out. He deserved a little nap, didn’t he? He’d been working terribly hard lately. Of course he deserved it.

So with the resolution that it would only be a very short nap, the predator hefted himself to his feet and slowly made his way to the bedroom. The journey was made somewhat difficult by the suddenly very lively weight in his middle, scrambling for purchase with each step, but the predator fought through such tribulations with barely a moan of protest.

The softness of his bed called to him and he fell into it without hesitation. He felt his snack pushing back as it was unceremoniously pinned between his weight and the bed, but the sleep now overtaking the predator left him quite unbothered by his snack’s inconvenient location.

As his eyes fell shut, the predator double checked that he had his stomach under control and promised himself once more that this nap would only last a short while.

And then he knew no more.

* * * * * * * * * *

When the predator awoke, he found himself unusually groggy. He blinked and yawned in the half-light of his room, wondering why he didn’t feel his usual peppy self after a good, hearty nap. It wasn’t until he tried to sit up and found himself impeded by the weight in his middle that he remembered what was going on.

He checked the time and was aghast at how late it was. Internally, he scolded himself for being so careless. Where was his usual sense of self control? Not only that, but he was further worried by how unusually still the weight in his stomach was.

He grimaced as he looked down at the curve of his belly. He liked to pretend his snacks were lollipops that would last ages if he was careful enough— one little taste at a time, but sometimes they felt more like a piece of gum— chew it up and spit it out ad nauseam, but grow too careless and you could swallow it, make it gone for good after just one tiny mistake.

If he wanted to get technical, he could say that this was how he’d lost most, or rather all, his previous snacks. He’d get distracted just one time for a little too long and his stomach had its way with them. Tragic, really. So many snacks gone too soon when they still had so much to offer.

“Hello, in there?” the predator called as he poked at his engorged tummy. He felt some small hope in finding whatever was inside to still be relatively solid. “Are you still kicking in there, Number Fourteen?”

The predator jumped in surprise when he received what felt like a kick to his stomach walls.

“Oh!” he said as a second kick (for good measure, he assumed) struck another uncomfortable blow. “I thought I’d finished you off in my sleep!” he told his snack in excitement. “But you’re doing surprisingly well in there, it seems. I think you could last for another few hours at most!”

There was a pause in which the predator was sure his snack was processing this exciting new opportunity, and then Number Fourteen went absolutely feral, struggling with a ferocity he’d seemingly given up on after the first five or six times he’d been been swallowed down. The predator was impressed. His current snack was now rivaling the persistence of Snack Number Four. That one never seemed to grow exhausted or give up.

“Yes, yes,” the predator offered his assurances as he kneaded his snack back into submission, “I know you’re just as elated as I am to spend more time together.”

Another kick.

The predator gave his belly a firm squeeze, coaxing the contents within to cooperate. “But you’ll need to try to contain yourself. Or would you rather continue acting up? It does get rather difficult to control my stomach when you’re moving so deliciously about.”

His snack went deathly still.

“Thought so.”

With only a negligible amount of difficulty, the predator pushed himself out of bed and stumbled out of the room. His snack came back to life as the movement jostled it about. The predator clutched at his belly as it cramped up. He never did like walking on a full stomach.

Finally, he reached his desk. His office chair sat invitingly before a not-so-inviting looking stack of papers. He frowned, still fighting off the grogginess from his earlier nap. Even with the comfort of a full belly and a reinvigorating nap, doing paperwork felt about as desirable as pulling teeth. His own teeth, of course. The predator had never pulled someone else’s teeth, but he thought it would likely be more interesting than paperwork.

The predator turned his thoughts over and over in his head, looking for something, anything that could make the task at hand even just a tad bit more enticing.

The predator snapped his fingers as his thoughts clicked into place.

“That’s it!” he exclaimed before heading back to the kitchen, still clutching his belly to keep the both of them steady.

Yes, he’d had one snack, but why not a second snack? And not a special snack like Number Fourteen. But just a normal snack, something to munch on. Oh, he did love to munch, and his snacks absolutely loathed sharing space with actual food. They always got disgruntled and squirmy, just enough so that the predator got a pleasant internal massage out of it.

The predator threw open his pantry with relish and began digging through the shelves for something of interest. This proved to be a more difficult task than usual as the weight in his middle continually threatened to throw him off balance whenever he leaned down for a closer look. Thankfully, the predator was never one for quitting and he fought valiantly not to fall flat on his face (an effort he was sure his snack appreciated as well). After an arduous battle with the pantry shelves and his own stomach, the predator emerged victorious with his prize in hand. A somewhat simple bag of potato chips, never before opened. Now this was sure to motivate him to his paperwork.

The predator was halfway back to his desk before he fully considered the consequences of choosing such a salty snack. Of course he’d need a beverage to wash it down with, it was only sensible. He turned on his heel, then nearly turned into a topple as he forgot he was quite belly-heavy at the moment. His non-potato chip snack braced itself awkwardly against his stomach walls while the predator readjusted himself.

Next thing, in a series of events much like in the pantry, the predator was rifling through the refrigerator. When he finally stepped away, he was carrying a bottle of only the finest of cherry colas and glad to be upright and well-balanced again.

With a certainty that he was finally prepared for that hateful pile of paperwork, the predator returned to his desk. He pulled out his chair and fell into it with a grateful sigh. It was always terribly tiresome carrying around so much extra weight. It took some adjusting, lowering his seat so there was room for his belly beneath the desk, and spreading his knees so the weight of his snack didn’t cut off his circulation, but finally the predator could comfortably rest his elbows on the desk and start writing.

With a very satisfying burst of salty scents, he tore open the bag of chips. He took a bite and gave an agreeable hum. Of course Snack Number Fourteen was his favored thing to eat, but they just didn’t provide the pleasurable crunch of a good potato chip.

The predator couldn’t suppress a small smile when he swallowed and felt the consequent twitch of surprise from Number Fourteen.

“Sorry about that,” he said, patting his stomach and hoping he was hitting somewhere close to his snack’s back. He wasn’t actually sorry. In fact, he quite liked the idea of all his favorite foods in one place, but it didn’t seem very politic to say so aloud.

He apologized and patted his stomach/maybe-Number-Fourteen’s-back again when he took a swig of soda for the first time. Number Fourteen gave a jab of annoyance and a very unsuccessful shifting of positions, but other than that the predator didn’t get any further protests from his snack.

“Right then,” the predator mumbled as he leafed through his papers, “I guess the only thing left to do is get started.”

And so he did. The next few hours were nothing but the scratching of his pen and the munching of his chips. His snack was restless for a great deal of it, particularly when the predator swallowed down some soda, but nothing too distracting. It probably helped that the chips and cola barely lasted through the first hour.

When his one hand was free, the predator would rest it distractedly on his middle, appreciating the warmth his slow digestion provided. He could feel, and occasionally hear, his stomach working ever so slowly over the contents within. It was all the same to his stomach— chips, soda, another living being. It plodded along relentlessly with its one job, contracted and breaking down whatever was put into it. It brought a certain kind of awe to the predator, and he loved to help it along with the occasional doting rub.

The predator didn’t notice it happening, but all of a sudden the hour was very late. He stared at the time for a few moments, not quite comprehending how so much of it had already passed. Come to think of it, he thought as he straightened out his now completed pile of paperwork, he hadn’t felt any movement from his snack in quite awhile.

“You still hanging on in there?” the predator asked, pressing his fingers into the curve of his belly. He couldn’t help but cringe as it felt like the form of his snack was much softer than it previously had been.

“Oh dear,” he said softly. And he really had been doing so well with this one.

He was just about to give up and go to bed so his stomach could finish up the job, when he felt the weakest of movement come from deep within his middle.

“Ah, so you are still alive in there!”

As if to exacerbate his point, his snack gave another commendable effort at moving.

“Right, just one moment then,” the predator said, clumsily pushing himself away from his desk and hoisting himself upright again. “Don’t want to dirty up my office, you understand.”

Number Fourteen gave a terrible shudder as the predator began his somewhat uncomfortable walk to the bathroom. The predator cringed again with each step. The contents of his stomach felt somewhat less… solid than when he’d made his earlier trip to the kitchen. He’d really goofed up this time, hadn’t he?

He hesitated once he made it to the bathtub. There was a fine line between lightly simmered in stomach acids but still salvageable versus broken down beyond repair yet still somehow clinging to life. The last thing he wanted was to deal with a quickly expiring snack in his bathtub. He really didn’t think he could manage swallowing them down again after that. Maybe it would be better for everyone if he gave up and just went to bed, letting his stomach finish off Number Fourteen.

The predator frowned as he stroked his hand in circles over the now softened surface of his belly.

Oh, but finding a new snack was so difficult. And he really did enjoy Number Fourteen, even if the boy sorely lacked a sense of humor.

“I really hope you’re not too far gone,” he told his snack with a new sense of resolve.

With a practiced contracting of muscles, the predator began the awfully distasteful process of bringing his snack back up. While he enjoyed keeping his snacks around for as long as possible, he couldn’t say that he quite enjoyed this part of the process. If he could simply make his snack re-appear outside of his stomach, he’d lead a much happier life. But alas. Such are the sacrifices he makes to get what he wants.

After much heaving and gagging, Snack Number Fourteen pushed its way back up the predator’s throat to land in a sloppy heap on the bathtub floor.

The boy groaned as the predator leaned down to inspect him.

“I thought you weren’t gonna let me out this time.” Snack Number Fourteen’s voice was hoarse and he wheezed with each breath.

The predator cleared his throat to hide his embarrassment. The boy really was in the worst shape he’d ever seen.

“Well,” the predator started, looking for the right words, “sorry about that.”

The boy gave him a blood-shot look of pure loathing.

“I really didn’t mean to go this far,” the predator continued, unabated. “I simply got so caught up in my work that I… forgot about you. You know how it is.”

“I really don’t,” the boy replied, sounding much like what the predator imagined sandpaper would sound like if it could speak.

The predator decided the best thing to do in this situation would be to pretend he hadn’t heard his snack. So instead, he grabbed the shower head and reached for the faucet. “Why don’t we get you washed up then?”

The snack let out a startled cry as the cold water washed over his angry, red skin. The predator quietly apologized again, but it was no matter. A minute later and his snack lay motionless, eyes fallen shut with exhaustion as he let the predator clean off all the wayward stomach acid from his skin. The predator was quite adept at this— starting at the top, where the more sensitive skin was, and working his way down. There was something very satisfying about starting the process of restoring his snack all over again. But even after the predator had finished, the boy lay sprawled on the bathtub floor, eyes closed, chest rising and falling.

The predator kept silent. He did feel a little guilty. Not only that, but also a little frustrated. With his snack in this state, it would take weeks for him to be strong enough for another round in his stomach. Perhaps it was karma for the predator’s own hubris. He prided himself on his self-control, but a momentary lapse in focus had left him with his prized Number Fourteen in this horrific state. Maybe it would have been easier if he’d just accepted his loss and gone to bed. At least he could start off with a new snack right away.

The predator gave a mental shrug.

Ah well, no use crying over spilled milk and all that.

“Why don’t we get some aloe on you?” he suggested once he could no longer stand waiting for his snack to come out of whatever state he was in. Patience was a virtue, of course, but it was getting very late and the predator needed his beauty sleep just as much as anyone.

The boy’s eyes flicked open and slid to look at him.

“Fine,” was his only word.

The boy pulled himself out of the tub and took a careful seat on the edge of the closed toilet. The predator did a thorough job slathering him in aloe, something the boy seemed to appreciate.

After a failed attempt at getting the boy to walk back to his room on his own, the predator was forced to carry him there. He wondered if the boy really was so weak from his injuries that he couldn’t stand or if he was only feigning weakness as a sort of punishment for the predator’s neglectfulness. The predator supposed, in a way, this arrangement wasn’t much different than earlier, except now he held his snack in his arms, not his belly.

“Home sweet home,” the predator commented as he pushed his way into Number Fourteen’s room.

The boy began squirming at the sight of it. He made a little sound, like a cross between a groan and a growl.

“I know you’re ecstatic to see it again,” the predator told him. “Especially since you almost didn’t make it back this time.”

The boy stopped squirming. The predator deposited him on the cot at the far end of the room.

“Wait there for a moment, please,” he told the boy before heading out of the room. The boy didn’t respond, he just laid very still on his tiny bed, staring at the ceiling. The predator made sure he locked the door behind him.

He headed to the pantry and pulled out two large plastic bottles of water and another bottle of sports drink for good measure. He was about to make a beeline back to his snack when he stopped. After a night like this, the predator usually waited until the next day to give his snack anymore food, but he had nearly digested the poor boy alive this time. He didn’t want to ruin the perfectly good rapport they had developed over these special months together.

He scanned the pantry shelves for something he could give the boy as an apology. Something that really said, “Sorry I got distracted and nearly sent you on a one-way trip to my bowels.” Even the predator grimaced at such a thought.

He took some time considering all his options, until he settled on what seemed the best one. A halfway finished jar of cocktail peanuts. The jar was halfway empty because they were quite good, and the predator picked it up with a sense of satisfaction, certain he’d made the best choice to demonstrate his deepest condolences.

When he re-entered the room, he found that the boy hadn’t moved from his frankly despondent state on the bed. The predator approached, keeping the peanuts hidden from view, and set one of the water bottles and the sports drink on the wobbly bedside table.

“Get up,” he commanded the boy, prodding him with the other water bottle. “You need to drink. Being burned can leave you very badly dehydrated.” And then he stopped and re-considered. “Or at least sunburns can. I’m not too sure about stomach acid burns as, well, you know, I’ve never had the privilege of being partly digested.”

These words roused the boy. With hiss of pain, he pushed himself into a sitting position and gave the predator one his favorite looks to give— a venomous stare.

He still took the bottle and began chugging the water, stray dribbles running down his cheeks and over his exposed throat.

“I do have something extra for you,” the predator told him, unable to hide his delight. “Something special.”

The boy stopped drink immediately. “What is it?” he asked, sounding almost excited for once.

“Here!” The predator said, unable to wait any longer. He shoved the jar of peanuts toward his snack.

The boy looked down at it and blinked.

“It’s an apology of sorts,” the predator explained. “You know, since I went a little too far this time. I honestly feared you wouldn’t make the night if I let you out, and I almost gave up on you. But look at you now! I’m sure you’ll be ready for another round in no time!”

The boy’s face fell and his eyes went cold and empty. “Thanks,” he said, the word devoid of any of his earlier excitement.

“Of course, my snack,” the predator told him as jovial as ever. “Well, I’ll let you get back to it then.”

Snack Number Fourteen didn’t answer. Only gave him a look of searing hatred, his blood-shot eyes somehow burning brighter than before.

The predator only gave him a reassuring smile as he closed the door.

“Goodnight, my snack. Until next time.”

He locked the door tight behind him.

And in just a few minutes, the predator had fallen into bed, finally letting a real, deep sleep overcome him. Despite a few bumps in the road, tonight had been a very fulfilling night. The only thing left empty now was his stomach, which grumbled quietly, eagerly awaiting the next time it would get to spend a few hours working over Snack Number Fourteen.

[atiny-for-life]

Creative Spotlight #1: Kim Hongjoong

Masterlist

Intro: With so many new Atinys coming in, I figured now would be a good time to shed some light on all the boys' creative solo projects over the years, big and small.

Photography

Hongjoong's love for photography goes way back to his predebut days. In one of the first videos ever uploaded to their channel, you can already see him holding a camera on the set of Pirate King.

2 years ago, in 2022, he got to announce his first photo exhibition, FROM NOVEMBER 7, 1998, as a birthday present to himself, which took place from November 1st to 7th at gallery99 and was used to collect money for charity.

There was no entrance fee but spots had to be reserved online to ensure there'd be no dangerous crowding. During the exhibition, there was a little event planned for all attendees in which fans could collect points which were then converted to money that was later donated under Hongjoong and Atiny's name. The total donated amount was 10 million won!

In Logbook Episode 101, we got to see Hongjoong visit the exhibition himself and take a stroll through memory lane.

Due to the success of the 2022 exhibition, Hongjoong held another one last year which took place between November 3rd and 9th, 2023, and was titled A Walker - the event was accompanied by the release of an original song and led to the donation of 50 million won under Hongjoong's and Atiny's name to the Korea Childhood Leukemia Foundation.

BY. HONGJOONG

Back in 2018, Hongjoong shared during their stay in LA as KQ Fellaz, that he barely went to school since he already started producing music during his high school days. And yes, this is during the same tear jerking monologue where he calls Ateez his family for the first time and says he needs to hurry so he can see their sleeping faces before he goes to bed.

The first time we get to see Hongjoong fully in action as a producer is during his first 1-Day-Vlog in 2020 in which he's working on his Prince cover (more on that in a second).

But now to the main event: Hongjoong has an entire series going where he covers some of his all time favorite songs. Whenever he does, he likes to make the songs his own by recording his own instrumental track and typically adding an additional Korean rap verse with self-written lyrics highlighting his interpretation of the song's message.

Kicking things off with Space Oddity by David Bowie, a classic.

Side Note: As a lover of unisex clothing/androgyny, Hongjoong is likely not just inspired musically by Bowie, but also fashion wise. You can learn more about Bowie's influence on the climate surrounding gender and sexuality here.

Dressed in white, matching both his hair and the background, Hongjoong turned himself into a clean canvas on which he projected first footage of Bowie and later some floating orbs - it's very aesthetic.

Between the original verses and chorus, he placed a Korean rap verse in which he writes from Major Tom's perspective and laments his mental state while stuck alone in outer space, asking ground control to tell his mom he loves her while stating he still appreciates the beauty of space but feels lost and lonely all by himself.

Next up, we've got Purple Rain by Prince, another classic.

Side Note: Like Bowie, Prince too was famous for being androgynous in how he presented himself and toying with what society deemed masculine and feminine. He's famous to this day among the queer community for how persistently he defied gender norms and labels. Learn more about him here.

Instead of filming himself, we get a lyric video this time, fully kept in pastel lavender. Once again, Hongjoong added a rap verse of his own in which he speaks to a lost friend, talking about how he hopes that, even though they're apart now, his friend will still recall him as being sincere and that they can still think of each other fondly and remember the good times.

In a far more elaborate production, we've got Black or White by Michael Jackson up next.

Using green screen and multiple outfits, we get a fun spectacle of a little passion project featuring multiple versions of Hongjoong, background collages, emojis, and more:

Despite being shorter than the other covers, we still get the signature rap verse preceded by his famous giggle and, this time, he's got quite a bit to say.

Diving into the lyrics, he talks about how we're all different colors. Colors which are meant to be mixed. Our roots don't define us. Throughout life, we'll all get mixed up with each other, as we should. He doesn't want to see us divided. To quote: "What's wrong with you, babe? Stop it. You've already experienced the 20th century. Blah blah by dividing groups."

The song ends with the rap verse before the video dives into the making of in which Hongjoong specifically addresses his intent to talk about social issues like Michael Jackson famously used to while he was alive (think: They Don't Really Care About Us).

So long time by Yoon Jong Shin comes next with a sepia-toned video featuring Hongjoong at a grand piano. It's a pretty ballad highlighting his vocals and the use of multiple camera angles allows us to watch him play.

Shortly before we hit the 2 minute mark, Hongjoong gets up and we transition from the shot of the piano to a cassette player while the audio shifts to the original for a moment before Hongjoong returns.

We've reached the rap verse where he mourns a lost love, speaking of memories he can't let go of, even as he pretends everything is okay. He's cold and lonely now, a little mad at himself for continuously getting lost in the memories, and calls himself a fool before we return to the cover-part of the song.

At 3:58, the song wraps up and we've reached the making of section of the video where he talks about how his cover stems from the idea of a time machine taking you through the song, with the first verse (playing the piano) being the past, the rap verse symbolizing the present, and the memories then taking back over as he gets lost in them, leading to the piano's return.

Next up, we've got Last Christmas by Wham! which opens to a short clip of Hongjoong's acting on a pretty Christmas film set before we transition to a simple white back drop.

This time, the signature rap verse comes in early at 50 seconds with a little giggle before he talks about leaving the past in the past and moving on, letting the snow settle over painful memories.

However, this time, we also get a second rap verse at 1:45, where it becomes clear he hasn't moved on at all, plus a Korean vocal section at 2:43 which carries through to the end. Here, he highlights even further that he hopes they'll reconnect next winter so they can leave the painful past behind and live out a shared future.

Hongjoong in his emo era. This is the first Ateez-related video I've ever seen because I was born in '96 and my emo phase never ended so of course this was recommended to me when it was first released.

Numb by Linkin Park got the full Hongjoong treatment and was even reported on by Rolling Stone, quote:

The cover began trending on social media and YouTube within hours of its release, but the true prize came a day later when it caught the attention of Linkin Park themselves. The rock band’s official Twitter account ‘liked’ the post on ATEEZ’s page, with co-founder and vocalist Mike Shinoda confirming on a livestream that he’d seen and enjoyed the cover. As of this writing, Hongjoong’s version of “Numb” has over half a million views on YouTube and has garnered tremendous praise from Linkin Park’s fans.

We get the black eye makeup and nail polish, the plaid half skirt, the dramatic music video with fake fog and red lighting. The rap verse comes in hard, talking about getting mentally weighed down by an abuser and finally breaking free, cutting the ties.

As a long time Linkin Park fan, I love how unique this cover is and Chester would've loved it too I'm sure. I wish he could've seen it.

Fools Garden's Lemon Tree is another classic and I come back to it on the regular because the video has such a unique vibe and the song is famous for getting stuck in your head.

The video features Hongjoong alone in a house surrounded by colorful toys and games, bored out of his mind and visibly seeking a distraction from life but failing to find something, no matter how out of pocket his thinking gets.

Shoutout to the license plate - it's the release date of the song, November 3rd, 1995.

At 1:33, Hongjoong sprints off to the basement which is doused in red and we get a warped version of his signature giggle before the rap verse kicks in. The camera work in this section reminds me a bit of his rap verse in Not Okay.

While down there, he gets more and more deranged, talking about being locked up day by day, imprisoned, losing track of time, but being unable to break out. Instead of trying to escape, he just attempts to distract himself, listening to sad songs on a loop until his pain disappears and his world switches back to yellow.

Busking Event

In 2021, Hongjoong decided to put together a busking event featuring live performances of some covers, plus acoustic versions of some of their songs. Accompanying him were both Ateez and Maddox. You can find the full playlist here:

Collaboration

3 months ago, Chungha made a return to the music scene after escaping her former label and chose Hongjoong as a collaboration partner for her new debut. Beyond his rap verse, she also incorporated a move from Crazy Form in the choreography (she's lovely):

[carriagelamp]

A few days late, but I'm lazy...

My favourite books that I read during 2023!

I got really lucky this year, I read some ridiculously good books, to the point that I had a really hard time narrowing them down. And I cheated on a few and bunched them up so I wouldn't have to choose 🙃

I did more detailed assessments of the books in my month reviews, but for anyone that's interested in something I read, here's a quick description:

Annie: An Old-Fashioned Story by Thomas Meehan -- A novelization of the Little Orphan Annie story, close related to the film musical including references to the songs. A charming read that captures the enjoyment of the film but adds a lot more details into the struggles and hardships Annie would have gone through during life on her own in the Depression.

Ballet Shoes by Noel Streatfeild -- Three girls from a poor family in London end up being welcomed to a ballet academy where they have the opportunity to learn not only how to dance, but to begin attending performances that let them earn money for their family. Follows the heart warming adventures of sisters with a nice balance of financial hardship and obligations during the Depression.

Camp Damascus by Chuck Tingle -- A possession horror based around religious trauma and sexual identity. Fantastic prose and genuinely chilling at points without ever feeling hopeless. Here the demons that start stalking people in this God-fearing Montana town are both metaphorical and literal.

A Christmas Story by Jean Shepherd -- A collection of radio stories that follow the childhood misadventures of Ralphie; these stories would go to make up the classic film A Christmas Story, and Shepherd's hilarious, clever prose makes it a very fun read whether you know the film or not.

Doctor Who: Scratchman by Tom Baker -- I actually read a number of pretty good Doctor Who novels this year (13 Doctors 13 Stories, Time Lord Fairytales, Silhouette) and even a Torchwood one (Skypoint) but Scratchman was probably my favourite of the lot. The Fourth Doctor, Sarah, and Harry find themselvese in a horror adventures as they try to defend a host of villagers against an invading force of evil, skeletal scarecrows that are attempting to infect the humans around them.

Dogsbody by Diana Wynne Jones -- The star Sirius is accused of killing another luminary and losing a powerful instrument called a Zoi. His sentence for this crime is to be stripped of his powers and cast down to earth, to spend one lifetime living in a humble, mortal form - that of a true dog. If he can survive and find the Zoi within that lifetime, he will be welcomed back to the cosmos.

Every Heart a Doorway by Seanan McGuire -- A novella that explores the rehabilitation of children who had been chosen, who found a doorway and stepped into another, strange world. Adventures done, they now need to acclimatize themselves to living in the rigid confines of the real world.

Grandpa's Great Escape by David Walliams -- A hilarious and surprisingly heart-warming story about a boy and his grandfather who was a flying ace during the war. With his mind beginning to fail him, the grandfather is sent to live at a sinister and definitely evil old folks' home. Only Jack can save him.

Hazel's Shadow by Nicole MacCarron -- Hazel has always been plagued by strange visions - the ability to see and speak to ghosts, as well as the knowledge of a strange, nameless horror living in her grandmother's house. Things come to a head though, when a sudden, zombie-like illness explodes through her town leaving only a few left alive, too many ghosts to count, enemies at every turn, and the shadow waiting for them.

Legends & Lattes by Travis Baldree -- (as well as it's sequel that came out later in the year, Bookshops & Bonedust). This was such a pleasant, low-stakes, domestic fantasy about Viv, an orcish ex-mercenary who has decided she's tired of fighting and would rather settle down and open a coffeeshop. One of the sticking points being, of course, that no one knows what coffee is.

Love Beyond Body, Space & Time by assorted authors, anthology -- An Indigenous queer sci-fi anthology with a really excellent collection of stories, including an author I already knew and loved! The stories explore a wide range of gender, sexuality, magic, machines, and ways of being, I highly recommend picking it up!

A Marvellous Light by Freya Marske -- Robin, a young baronet, thought he was being shunted into the most out of the way and miserable public servant position imaginable. He expected things to be tedious but necessary. He did not expect to suddenly learn that magic is real and to be tangled in its machinations in a potentially lethal way.

(MDZS) Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu -- Rejoice, because the feared Yiling Patriarch, the necromancer terror who slaughtered thousands, is dead! And has been dead the past decade. And is now very, very confused to wake up in a new body that isn't his, in a room he's never seen before, and to be thrust into the middle of a murder mystery where everyone would want him dead if they were to learn his real identity.

Moominland Midwinter by Tove Jansson -- Moomins hibernate through the winter, that's how it has always been for them. So when young Moomintroll wakes and finds the rest of his family still fast asleep, he's left feeling lost and isolated in this new, strange, snow covered world beyond his door.

A Psalm for the Wild-Built by Becky Chambers -- (and its sequel A Prayer for the Crown-Shy) A very gentle, compassionate sci-fi novel that explores a world humans have created post-climate-crisis. Life is different, the past distant, and a young tea monk never expected to run into an actual robot, who had so long ago left humanity to live their own secluded life in the wilds. Now they're both struggling to answer the question "What do humans need?"

The Radium Girls by Kate Moore -- (and Kate Moore's other book The Woman They Could Not Silence) The Radium Girls is a narrative non-fiction book that looks at the lives of the girls who were paid to paint luminous watch dials using radium paint. It explores the horror, exploitation, and suffering that came from work place negligence and the world's gradual learning about what exactly radium can do.

Red, White & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston -- Presidential son and British prince are forced together for the sake of publicity - to prove that they don't actual hate each other and aren't going to cause a diplomatic incident. They cause a whole new and exciting diplomatic incident by falling in love! Do not read this for the politics, but it did end up being way way better than I expected, this author creates quite compelling characters.

The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett -- Sour, spoiled, and ill Mary is sent to live with her distant uncle on the Yorkshire moors. Set to be as contrary and unhappy as possible, little by little Mary begins to come out of her shell as she experiences nature, play, and love for perhaps the first time in her life.

System Collapse by Martha Wells -- Newest Murderbot book!! Murderbot, ART's crew, and the humans from Preservation are doing their best to defend the colonists on a plant that's cursed with a strange, alien plague from being consumed by the more immediate threat of corporate slavery. Something, however, seems to be wrong with Murderbot and its worried that if it can't fix the problem soon, it may cost its humans their lives.

(TGCF) Heaven Official's Blessing by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu -- Xie Lian is a god. Was a good. He has ascended to godhood twice, and been banished back to earth twice. Once a favour among the gods, he is now a laughing stock, a scrap-collecting god who has been forgotten by almost everyone. So it is with some shock and exasperation to all involved when he ascends for a third time.

This Is How You Lose The Time War by Amal El-Mohtar & Max Gladstone -- A ridiculous poetic novella written through improbable letters that are written between two time travels on opposites sides of a time war. Seriously, this is probably the most beautiful book I read this year, go read it, the hype is justified.

Wave Me Goodbye by Jacqueline Wilson -- As World War Two rages, Shirley, like many children of the time, is sent from her home in London to be housed by a foster family in the country in order to avoid the Blitz. Put up with two boys in the strange, mostly empty Red House, Shirley has to find a new life for herself out in the country.

When The Angels Left The Old Country by Sacha Lamb -- Uriel the angel and Little Ash the demon find themselves drawn from their usual lives when a young girl from their shtetl goes missing after emigrating to America. Both with their own reasons for wanting to leave the old country, they set off on a sea voyage that will change everything for them.

Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Grahame -- The classic stories of Rat, Mole, and Toad. The story begins when Mole, venturing out of his little burrow, meets Rat and winds up living with him in his little home by the river rather than returning to his own, lonely, little hole. From there they have a variety of domestic adventures over the seasons, most notable being Toad's ill-fated obsession with motor cars.

[lordeemailarchive]

how I’ve been, revised

(20/09/2023) (Solar Institute Bulletin No. 22) (From London)

Aftershow quiet in Helsinki

Hey,

I just finished writing you a long letter, catching you up on how I’ve been. It ended neatly, tied with a little bow. I chose my words well, but I didn’t tell the truth. So I’m starting again, gonna type and not look back, and send what comes out.

I’m in London, have been since May. Things feel clear here. I haven’t seen many friends; mostly, I’m alone with my thoughts. I go swimming, I go to work, I walk home or take the train, I eat in my kitchen, I go to bed thinking about what I’m making. I’m starting to miss my friends and family, like a vitamin I’m deficient in. Soon I’ll be going back to New York, and then home.

I’m living with heartbreak again. It’s different but the same. I ache all the time, I forget why and then remember. I’m not trying to hide from the pain, I understand now that pain isn’t something to hide from, that there’s actually great beauty in moving with it. But sometimes I’m sick of being with myself. I eat chocolate to try and manipulate the endorphins, bring back the sweet happiness of Easter morning. I sit in the time machine and wait for it to move, but it hasn’t been invented yet.

My body is really inflamed, it’s trying to tell me something and I’m trying to support it but nothing seems to help and I get frustrated. My gut isn’t working properly, my skin is worse than ever, I’ve gotten sick half a dozen times. I realised earlier this year that listening to my body is hard for me, it’s something I never really learned how to do. I’ve been trying to teach myself that this year, but it’s been hard actually, pretty confronting, has made me fully aware of all the times I ignored it or didn’t give it what it needed, shamed it for a fight or flight response, took a handful of pills and pushed through. The little yellow pill I took every morning for thousands of mornings since I was 15, I stopped taking it 5 days ago. Gonna see how it goes.

I go online and look at everyone. Beautiful people sing to me. Everyone’s gotten really good at the same thing. I look at arched backs and wet flower mouths, the right bag, the right sunglasses. I wonder if it feels as good as it looks, it’s been so long since I chose the best picture from a hundred, lined it up like pulling an arrow taut in a bow, and let it go. Everyone looks very thin. Just thinking that makes me feel tired and far away. I’m not sure if it’s having an effect on anyone else. I keep spending money, wondering if what’s in the package will make me feel right, but I guess I buy the wrong things. I was gonna go to fashion week in Paris, had all these grand plans, but this week I txted my manager and pulled out. At the start of my career I promised myself I’d never be one of the people in the light smiling if it wasn’t real.

Earlier this year, I ate two handfuls of mushrooms, solid doses that tasted like green dirt. I got a lot of information about what my body had been through in our time so far, what it needed, where God was and where God wasn’t; I felt in my bones how destabilising it is to leave home and start a new life the way I did. I also saw that my body is completely magnificent, and that hating it is as futile as hating a tree; that I truly, truly love doing my job, and that my life is like a beautiful tapestry, and every inch of it is precious and has meaning.

It might seem funny or be easy to forget, but I make records because I need to. The songs are spells; a spell to let go of something, a spell to unlock a door. Every time I put something into words just as I see it, set it to the right music, a knot comes loose in me. But it hurts too, confronting the knots. I’ve made enough records to know that this feeling of my skin coming off is part of it. I know I’m gonna look back on this year with fondness and a bit of awe, knowing it was the year that locked everything into place, the year that transitioned me from my childhood working decade to the one that comes next — one that even through all this, I’m so excited for. It’s just hard when you’re in it.

So in this state, I went out on a short European festival tour. We built a cool new version of the show in a couple days. It was good to change gears and get out of my head. I put effort into the show, changing the setlist and arrangements, it was cool how you picked up on that, and it felt good dancing to the new versions with you, looking out at you, all sweaty with your friends, all on the same drugs. I felt the throb of history that’s under this music now, how each year makes these songs feel more like collectively written and sung pieces. I left my body and merged with yours and it was ecstasy. Then I went home to a business hotel and washed the glitter and smoke out of my hair.

Lauren took some beautiful pictures — sharing a few with you here.

Backstage in Portugal.

Cute Polaroid series of the 6pm, 8pm, and 10pm versions of me on a show day.

I’ve read some great books recently, including Drive Your Plow over the Bones of the Dead by Olga Tokarczuk, Speedboat by Renata Adler, Motherhood by Sheila Heti, Rough Translations by Molly Giles (brought into my life by sweet angel bookworm Chris Chang), Birds of America by Lorrie Moore; am waiting on my copies of ĀRIA by Jessica Hinerangi and Te Ana Ata: Menstruation In The Pre-Colonial Maori World by Ngāhuia Murphy. Was given Wawata - Moon Dreaming by Dr. Hinemoa Elder which I’m loving looking to as the Maramataka evolves.

It was Te Wiki o Te Reo Māori last week, I loved listening to this from London. This vid from Hemi showing the similarities between te reo Māori and ʻōlelo Hawaiʻi is so sick.

Been meaning to tell you about The Kindness Institute too, a mental health resource for Māori rangatahi that has recently lost government funding. Go check out the beautiful, necessary mahi they’re doing — I know the cost of living is cooked for Kiwis right now and pop stars asking people to donate sux, but if you work at a good sized company maybe you can wrangle a donation from your employers?! I’m gonna email my record company about it.

Other bits that have inspired lately:

Dieter Rams’ principle of “as little design as possible”. This fantastic interview with Thom Yorke. Maddie’s unbelievably beautiful Melo inspired tattoo.

Loving the beautiful new Troye songs and vids, Kelela’s Raven hitting right on the e-bike rides home, late to the magic of Frou Frou but glad I’m here, and the rest of my brain is M.T. Hadley, this great Te Whanganui-a-Tara based band Womb, and Talk Talk. And for those it concerns, have been pilled by parasocial big cousins Jason and Chris. My mum just sent me a Sylvia Plath poem that feels like it sums up the above, I’ll copy it here:

They thought death was worth it, but I Have a self to recover, a queen. Is she dead, is she sleeping? Where has she been, With her lion-red body, her wings of glass?

Now she is flying More terrible than she ever was, red Scar in the sky, red comet Over the engine that killed her— The mausoleum, the wax house.

Sylvia Plath, "Stings"

Hope you’re taking care of yourself. Don’t worry about me, I still laugh every day, it’s all moving, even when it goes slow. I’ve accepted the mission — I have a self to recover.

Speak soon, E X X X X X

(source: received this email)

[brucebocchi]

Ranking every new anime I watched in 2023, Pt. 2: #20-11

hey, i just started a ko-fi for my writing and possible other creative outlets. this post will also be available there, so please check it out and consider tipping/donating as i'm currently between jobs. the tumblr version of part 1 can be found here.

Let's get right into it.

20. Helck

I watched Helck’s first season for its entire half-year run, and I'm honestly still not sure how I feel about it. I’d heard amazing things from people who’d read the manga, and it had a hot start, but the pacing slowed to such a crawl after a while that it kind of felt like they stretched out the story just so they could make another season.

Helck, an enormous and impossibly jolly human warrior, enters a tournament to decide the successor to the throne of the recently-slain Demon King. Demons and humans had been at war for some time, so Vermilio, an adorably fiery elite lord of the castle, is naturally wary of him. Helck is naturally powerful, talented, and affable, so he easily breezes his way through the tournament in hilarious fashion, despite Vermilio’s best efforts at sabotage. Before the finals can take place, though, an immortal army sent by the human forces arrive to attack the demon realm, and Helck and Vermilio are teleported to the far edge of the realm.

The season largely covers Helck and Vermilio’s trek back to the demon kingdom, as well as the demons’ struggles against the mysterious warriors as they attempt to figure out just what the hell the humans are plotting.  Vermilio remains leery of Helck, regardless of all he’s done for her, but it becomes further evident that Helck is harboring a very dark past, and eventually we get a lengthy arc where he sits down and explains it to Vermilio in flashback. There is, as you’d expect, plenty of tragedy there, and you’d like to see it resolved, but things just seem to keep getting worse.

There are powerful messages in there about toxic positivity and fighting the urge to shoulder one’s burdens alone, but they don’t become fully apparent until late in the season. Everything until then, at least after the teleportation, is… fine. I had higher hopes for this one, but it just feels like it’s missing something, and I can’t put my finger on what. It looks fine, the voice acting is good (the GOAT Katsuyuki Konishi is typically very good as Helck), the action is decent, it’s all… fine. The pacing just feels glacial at times, to the point where if I hadn’t been watching it weekly I might have bounced off of it.

Of course, the season ended with what appears to be the endgame on the horizon, so for all I know there’s still a lot more to come, but the story beats feel so familiar that I get the feeling it could be resolved with, like, a movie. I hope I’m wrong, because there are clearly some major emotional payoffs yet to come, and I’m still curious to see how it gets there. I may have to pick up the manga to find out if it’ll be worth any more of my time.

19. Urusei Yatsura (2022), second cour

Fresh off of Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure’s possible series finale, David Production’s modern take on Rumiko Takahashi’s legendary comedy manga hummed along nicely into 2023. The cast continues to expand as the new version introduces characters like Ten, Ryunosuke, and Tobimaro to further raise the level of shenanigans inherent to Urusei Yatsura.

Lum Invader has been a sex symbol for pretty much as long as anime has had sex symbols, but the reboot’s second cour focuses a bit more on the side of her personality that makes her so iconic, and which I consider essential to several of my favorite female anime characters: Lum’s kind of a psychotic asshole. Her schemes to wring more attention and affection out of Ataru border on sociopathic at times, and she’s honestly so real for that. Her mortal frenemy, Ran, was introduced close to the end of the first cour, and there is still no shortage of sabotage attempts in the second, but we quickly come to learn that Ran’s undying vendetta is mostly because Lum has been a selfish, lying piece of shit since they were kids. God bless her.

Ataru continues to not be much better, serial philanderer that he is, as he continues to be surrounded by other hot crazy ladies who aren’t his not-fiancee. Mendo’s younger sister, Ryoko, is a real highlight in the 2023 run as a result of her escalating penchant for Looney Tunes-esque slapstick violence. The settings of Ataru’s and Lum’s respective worlds take more focus as well, between Ataru’s high school hijinks and Ten’s galactic mail-order mishaps, and the two often collide in hilarious fashion.

I still adore the look of this one. Character models have been cleaned up and simplified to a sort of retro-modern look while still being instantly recognizable to anyone already familiar with them. Everything is awash in an eye-popping Day-Glo color palette. Backgrounds and pop-in gags are often adorned with Ben Day dots to maintain the retro comic look. This doesn’t quite look like the manga, nor does it resemble the original 80s anime, but this is unmistakably a Rumiko Takahashi product. It almost looks like it could have come out at any point in time.

I’m only holding this back in the rankings because it’s the weaker half of a season that straddled the end of 2022 and the start of 2023, but the season as a whole is excellent. It is an essential watch for fans of comedy anime, especially considering so many tried-and-true anime gags effectively originated with Urusei Yatsura (it’s worth mentioning that Lum is largely considered the first-ever tsundere in anime and manga). Season 2 is imminent and I cannot fucking wait. Maybe I’ll even read the manga.

18. Tomo-chan is a Girl!

This is basically Monthly Girls’ No-jock-i-kun. Very simple premise: Tomboyish high schooler gets the hots for her childhood friend who is dense as fuck and forgets most of the time that she’s even a girl. Hilarity ensues and romance progresses glacially.

The voice performances are what really carry this one. Rie Takahashi is golden as the titular Tomo Aizawa, and this was the first entry in an MVP-caliber resume for her in 2023 that was so stacked that I still haven’t gotten to her best role yet. Rina Hidaka nails the conniving, misanthropic nature of Misuzu Gundo in a far cry from her turn as Emul the bunny in Shangri-La Frontier later in the year. The American-born idol Sally Amaki is a revelation as the airheaded gaijin Carol Olston, whom she also voices in the English dub. Even Carol’s mom speaks broken Japanese with a noticeable American accent, which is one of my favorite gags in the whole show.

Outside of the voice acting, nothing is particularly special about this show. Which is fine! There's nothing wrong with a solid 7/10 romcom; junk food is still food. It’s cute, it’s funny, it hits all the right beats, but nothing particularly stands out. Misuzu and eventually Carol give Tomo advice to try to woo her bestie Jun, while Misuzu is usually also playing Jun against that same advice so that it usually works and backfires at the same time. It’s all a game, and she plays both sides so she can always come out on top.

If I have a complaint about this show, it’s that it just… ends. I went back and read the manga, and unfortunately that issue is not the anime’s fault. If anything, it did a phenomenal job of fitting eight volumes of a 4-koma into a single season, and that’s always how it was supposed to go. I watched and read a ton of slice-of-life romance anime and manga this year, as it turns out, and the ones that really hit for me are usually the ones that take their time with the central relationship once it actually starts, rather than treat that big event as the climax, or worse, the finale of the story. Stuff like Kaguya-sama, Horimiya, Sweat and Soap, and even Wotakoi (though I have my own problems with that one) treat their central relationships as a step, not the goal.  At the same time, for plenty of others, the fun is in the chase, and they just run out of time, and Tomo-chan is the latter. We got what we wanted, and we had fun getting there. Sometimes that’s all you need.

Also good god, Tomo’s mom. The second those genes kicked in for Tomo, Jun was doomed.

17. The Eminence in Shadow, second cour and season 2

The Eminence in Shadow is the smartest piece of stupid media I've seen in a minute. It so perfectly skewers dime-a-dozen chuunibyo isekai trash while still cannonballing into a McDuckian swimming pool of the stuff. It nearly overwhelms you with lore; the series abounds with rich backstories, centuries-old power struggles, palace intrigue, shadowy conspiracies, the artificially accelerated march of progress, long-simmering revenge plots, looming economic catastrophe, and love dodecahedrons. And the most compelling thing about all of it is that none of it fucking matters.

Cid Kagenou spent his teenage years in modern Japan trying to become the coolest badass dark antihero who ever lived, but he quickly reaches his limits in our boring normal world so he rides the isekai truck into a world with actual, like, magic and shit. He spends his new childhood leveling up and rescuing elf girls, all the while regaling them with his “wisdom” in the form of a bunch of horseshit he made up based on all the light novels he used to read. Turns out that he’s entirely too genre savvy; this new world is apparently so contrived that every single thing he told them ended up entirely true.

So now Cid’s a teenager by day and shadowy vigilante by night (under the apt moniker “Shadow”), with an underground legion of hot deadly babes at his disinterested beck and call. All he genuinely cares about is looking and acting like the coolest motherfucker a socially inept 12 year old boy can think of, and in his downtime actively trying to be a forgettable mob character. And I do mean that that is all he cares about; when I say none of the wheels within wheels happening in the background actually matter, I mean that Cid is completely and totally unaware of any of it. 

Anything he does or says to drive the plot is either incidental or accidental. He spouts off some nonsense he heard in a video game once, and his cadre of elf baddies and beastgirls takes it as gospel en route to exposing a millennium-old conspiracy. He parrots a really cool line he heard ten minutes ago and a beautiful woman he just saved takes it as inspiration to turn her life around. It’s kind of like in Mashle, funnily enough; where Mash will go “I don’t know what’s going on, but you were being mean to my friend so I’m gonna beat the shit out of you,” Cid is more like “No clue what this is about, but that’s a really badass looking villain, so I’m gonna say some epic shit and do a big explosion.” And then he fucks off to go eat a burger or something, not knowing or caring that he just unraveled a prophesied master plot to destroy the global power balance.

The episodes that aired in 2023 largely revolve around the lovely Princess Rose, smitten with both Cid and Shadow (not knowing they’re the same guy), pledging fealty to Shadow Garden after failing to foil a coup d’etat. At the same time as her training, Cid is busy with a vampire something-or-other and then tries to make some coin for himself by teaming up with an assassin hellbent on revenge to create a credit crisis. The conspiracy later drags Rose back into the palace, where Cid sees a new opportunity. Every single one of these things has very specific reasons for happening, and everyone involved has a rich backstory and clear motivations to carry out their parts of the ever-evolving plots.

But that’s not why you’re here. You’re here to watch a bunch of hot ladies and a guy in a black cloak with one glowing red eye do some sick action stunts to bad guys with silly names, and this show delivers that in spades. This feels like a throwback in the best and worst ways. The Eminence in Shadow is stupid, and it is brilliant.

16. Mushoku Tensei: Jobless Reincarnation, season 2

Mushoku Tensei is a tough anime to talk about. On one hand, it is one of the most gorgeous anime series ever put on television: Almost consistently movie-quality sakuga, lush background art, and a breathtaking score come together to form an immersive world unlike many I’ve seen in any medium. On the other, it forces some very unpleasant conversations about reincarnation in anime, particularly ones like this where a grown man is reincarnated as a child while retaining his mental age and is surrounded by potential love interests closer in age to his new body. What doesn’t help is that in his previous life in our world, the man who would reincarnate as Rudeus Greyrat was a socially isolated hentai addict, and much of his journey centers around him unlearning those proclivities in unfortunate and often damaging ways. If you can handle that, Mushoku Tensei is a rewarding watch, but if that’s beyond the pale to you, I don't blame you in the slightest.

However, even if you’ve been able to stomach all of the questionable shit in the first season, I'm sorry to say that the second season’s first cour doesn’t do much for the “bro I promise he gets better bro” crowd. The first cour covers the Quagmire and Academy arcs, which follow Rudeus’ struggle with being effectively abandoned by the only person to show him any physical affection in either life. The knock-on effect sees him retreating into an antisocial shell and developing, and I am deadly serious here, a seemingly incurable case of erectile dysfunction.

The first few episodes surround Rudeus growing into a young man, making a name for himself as a wandering adventurer in hopes that talk of his name will spread to his missing family and friends. At the urging of the god with a direct line to him (still unexplained), he enrolls in a magic university to investigate the calamity that flung his loved ones to the corners of the realm. There he finds an old friend in the figure-obsessed young prince who saved his life in the previous season, a girl from his previous world who seems to have also been transported to this one, and most crucially, his old childhood friend Sylphiette, hiding in plain sight with new hair and a sick pair of shades as a retainer to a scheming princess enrolled in the school.

Mushoku Tensei's initial season was at its best in its quieter moments, and those abound in season 2’s first cour. It's really lovely seeing him connect once again with Sylphie purely for who she is, even though for all Rudy knows he’s talking to a twinky dude named Fitz who makes him feel weird things. We get our amazing action animation early on, and things settle down quite a bit from there as Rudeus navigates all of these interpersonal relationships, old and (seemingly) new.

And while, yes, this version of Rudeus is a far cry from the drooling, grinning pervert he was in his first ten years of reincarnation, his improvement as a human being is not a straight line. He unfortunately takes more steps backwards than forward. The things he says in a drunken rage about his party member Sara (who inadvertently revealed his ED) are awful and undeserved, he literally ties up and gropes a pair of beast girls from his class (he has apparent reasons for both of those things, but come on), and he “frees” a young dwarven slave to take on as an apprentice. That last one seems admirable on its face, but uh. He went with the flow in a god damned slave market and still paid a slaver.  

I'm not excusing those things, nor absolving Rudeus as a character; I'm simply saying they happen this season. Mushoku Tensei, for better or for worse, depicts gnarly subject matter as it is while neither glorifying it nor moralizing about it. It trusts you to make your own judgments, and if your verdict is “I can’t watch this show,” that is perfectly valid. If you can stomach watching through its worst moments and compartmentalize the uncomfortable aspects of it, Mushoku Tensei remains one of the best-looking and -sounding pieces of animation out there, and the part of its second season that aired in 2023 has an exceptional emotional payoff. Otherwise, I'll be talking about Frieren much later.

15. Spy x Family, season 2

The most succinct praise I can give season 2 is also the most backhanded: Well, it’s more Spy x Family.

I want to be clear that there is no shade inherent to that comment; the first season of Spy x Family was excellent! It was a stylish, beautifully animated, appropriately hilarious adaptation of a fantastic manga that did it justice in almost every regard; the second season didn’t need to move heaven and earth to try to one-up it. It wasn’t broken, so Wit and CloverWorks didn’t fix it. It’s still the blend of domestic slice-of-life hijinks, tense cold-war intrigue, and heart-pounding action it’s always been. Even the production music is largely the same, and that’s not a complaint, because SxF’s production music fuckin' slaps.

A lot of anime-onlys rightfully complained that Yor’s plot relevance seemed to fall off a cliff in the back half of season 1, so they have been eating GOOD this time out, as season 2’s (ostensible) first cour puts her directly in the spotlight. The Yor Cour, if you will. The season opened on a hilariously spot-on adaptation of my favorite Yor-centric chapter of the manga (the “bullet in the ass” one) and quickly moved on to a nearly perfect interpretation of the cruise arc that sees her protecting a government asset from a legion of assassins. 

If you wanted to see more of Yor in her second life as the contract killer, Thorn Princess, this season was a meal and a half for you. Having her beset on all sides by an eccentric rogues’ gallery, with Anya fully aware and trying her damnedest to keep Loid from finding out what’s actually going on, is Spy x Family at its best. The tension constantly ramps up as the ship approaches its target, and Anya’s attempts at distracting Loid usually go sideways because, well, she’s Anya. Blood splatters, laughs are had, and Loid continues to struggle with both fatherhood and acting like his growing affection for his ragtag “fake” family is just “for the mission.” 

Outside of the cruise, season 2 maintains the series’ usual episodic pace, which can be a little jarring before and after the cruise arc, but that’s SxF for you. Shit can pop off at unexpected moments, and having read ahead in the manga, I’m excited to see the next time that happens. For now, though, things can feel kinda static from time to time, but the Forger family and the extended cast are always pleasant to just hang out with for a while.

And now to wait for the movie to come out in the west.

14. Undead Unluck

Up until this past Winter season, I primed myself on a lot of the more-hyped anime by reading the manga ahead of time. I knew that Undead Unluck is one of the bigger Shonen Jump manga out there, but this debut kind of crept up on me. I went in blind, got drawn in by the premise, and then got quickly overwhelmed with a wild amount of lore.

Fuuko, a young woman seemingly afflicted with a curse, is saddled with a brash, enormous man who cannot die after he foils her suicide attempt and is then himself grievously injured. Don’t worry, he got better. It turns out that he’s roughly 200 years old and has a completely cracked healing factor, while she brings terrible misfortune to anyone who touches her skin. They are both Negators, people with the ability to reverse or ignore the laws of nature: Fuuko’s ability is Unluck, causing tragedy for those close to her, while the man is Undead, exactly what it says on the tin. The man, who cannot remember his own name, believes their meeting to be kismet: If she can bring death to her loved ones, he vows to woo her so she can deliver the death he’s sought for so long. I promise this is a comedy.

Fuuko and Andy (whom she named as shorthand for the Japanese pronunciation of “undead”) foil a series of assassination attempts by other Negators, and take their spots as part of the Union eliminating threats to the universe. They team with an eclectic group, whom we’re still getting to know as of the end of the first cour, as they trot the globe to complete quests given to them by a mysterious (and seemingly nefarious) talking book lest the universe incur penalties for their failure.

The power system among Negators is one of the most inventive I've seen, with each one able to cancel out a specific element of the natural order of the world, and it’s a blast learning how each new one works. Andy in particular is wild; because he can regenerate himself so quickly, his weapon of specialty is his own body, never hesitating to use his own fingertips as bullets and his own gushing blood as a propulsion mechanism. He also has no compunction towards taking on the worst of Fuuko’s Unluck ability, often sacrificing himself to get hit by lightning or falling debris to deal damage to an enemy. Every new Negator power introduced adds a new wrinkle to the way this world works and the different shapes its action can take. Others can freeze matter into suspended animation, force people to act opposite their own intentions, or even subvert someone’s entire belief system. I cannot wait to see what else is in store.

The first cour’s pacing is a little off, and Andy's behavior towards Fuuko in the first couple episodes is nothing short of gross (I promise that eases up), but you can see the show finding its footing as it goes on. Shonen Jump series don’t last for nearly 200 chapters and counting by accident, and I'm excited to see where this goes.

13. NieR: Automata Ver. 1.1a

Those of us who played Yoko Taro’s 2017 masterpiece approached the announcement of an anime adaptation with some trepidation: So much of what made Nier Automata so outstanding and so beloved is that much of the delivery of its narrative is inherent to the fact that it’s a video game. How can a video game known for pushing against the fourth wall of the unique elements of its very medium be faithfully adapted as an anime?

The choice of studio was also concerning: Though A-1 has produced a ridiculous number of excellent series (and some aggressively mid ones that were nonetheless very successful), its track record with video game adaptations has been far less than stellar. The latter three films in the Persona 3 adaptations were solid if uneven, and the Valkyria Chronicles anime seems to have been well-received, but the same can’t be said of A-1’s takes on Ace Attorney, Persona 4 Golden, or Persona 5. Regardless, Yoko himself was heavily involved in the anime’s production, so if they could keep on budget and schedule, Nier Automata would have a fighting chance.

And while there indeed ended up being massive and likely unpredictable production delays, I'd say they’ve done almost as good of a job as they could have so far. While the first cour mainly covers Automata’s A and B routes, it does much more than just play that part of the story straight; it also takes the time to incorporate other elements of the Nier canon. A surprising amount of time is dedicated to the canon introduced in the YoRHa stage play (and by extension the Pearl Harbor Descent Record manga); Lily and the android resistance are woven directly into the narrative far beyond the vague overtures the game makes in their direction. Ver 1.1a also ties the history of the original Nier into the story at unexpected and intriguing (and in my case, tear inducing) moments. 

Unfortunately, it’s still too soon to assess this series in its entirety. While too many people who played Nier Automata stopped after route A or B, there is still much more of this story to come. There was some very sloppy CGI integration in the first episode when it aired, but far from enough to put me off the series. For now, it’s a treat for Nier fans, but I’m not sure whether I can recommend it yet to people who are unfamiliar with the source material.

Until the anime is completed, go play Nier Automata. It’s one of my favorite games of all time.

12. Kaguya-sama: Love is War -The First Kiss That Never Ends-

This was a late 2022 theatrical release, but it didn’t see western release until this year and was split into a four-episode mini-season for streaming, so I'm counting it for this year. You can deal with it.

I got completely obsessed with Kaguya-sama early this year, and in record time. I binged the anime and the manga in the span of a couple weeks and irreversibly fell in love. I say with no reservation that it is the best romantic comedy, in any medium, of the 21st century. It nails both the romance and the comedy in equal measure; the characters are perfectly realized right down to the supporting cast, the dynamics between them are carefully considered and consistent with their personalities regardless of circumstance, and every emotional and comedic beat hits exactly as it’s meant to. There is a constant momentum moving the greater plot along, even in the smaller moments, and seismic shifts take over before you’ve even noticed they’re happening.

It’s rare for romcom manga adaptations to stay on the air long enough to actually reach the romantic payoff, and Kaguya-sama fucking nailed it in season 3. Well, we’re pretty sure it did; the central conceit of the psycho-romantic warfare between Kaguya Shinomiya and Miyuki Shirogane is that they’re both chronic overthinkers and won’t accept any romantic undertones or overtures in any form but an explicit confession. So while the finish to season 3 is everything we wanted as an audience, these two dorks still sense a margin for error. Regardless, that would have been a perfectly acceptable place to end the anime.

HOWEVER, the Ice Queen Kaguya arc that follows in the manga is iconic, and A-1 was absolutely right to adapt it. Although Shirogane is ready to move forward with the relationship that (he’s pretty sure) they’ve both wanted for a long time, Kaguya has a crisis of personality and inadvertently reverts to the dead-eyed, emotionally walled-off version of herself he’d initially met, well before either of them had realized they’d fallen in love with one another. The interstitial omake preceding this arc in the manga has Aka Akasaka warning the reader that in order to counteract the massive emotional payoff that just happened, the ensuing chapters would get very, very silly.

And of course, hijinks do indeed ensue; this is Kaguya-sama, after all. But before you realize it, the story is neck deep in Jungian psychology as self-doubt begins to plague Kaguya and Miyuki and they struggle with the faces they think they need to put on for the other and whether their “real” selves even deserve to be loved by the person they idolize. It gets heavy! I cried every time I watched it! And that first time was in a damn movie theater!

I’m much more comfortable appraising First Kiss as a mini-season than as a movie, because frankly, it doesn’t work as a movie. The animation, while maintaining the series’ standard of excellence, isn’t a single degree better than what aired on television, which can be disappointing upon a visit to the theater. The pacing is also off for a feature film; the common knock upon theatrical release was that it felt like four episodes stitched together (it even has the omake-style interludes between scenes, like the show). The arc also focuses very heavily on Kaguya and Miyuki specifically, so the ensemble cast I mentioned earlier does have to take a backseat. Splitting this up for streaming and televised release was the right move here.

Season 3 would have been a very good ending for this series if it never got picked up for the movie. If it doesn’t get picked up for a proper fourth season, this is the perfect place for it to end. The manga has now been adapted up to just past the halfway point, and the next best stopping point would have to wait until a possible, like, fifth season. And that arc in question, while it does have some iconic moments, is very uneven. If this is all we’re getting, we’ve gotten plenty already, and I am satisfied.

If you've watched the first three seasons of Kaguya-sama, you owe it to yourself to watch The First Kiss That Never Ends. It is nearly everything you could ask for. Also, read the manga if you haven’t already. It’s genuinely one of my favorite things I've ever read.

11. The Apothecary Diaries

This one is basically House M.D. set in the Ming Dynasty, and it fucks.

Maomao, an apothecary raised in a pleasure district near the palace of a fictional East Asian empire, is shanghaied (pun intended) into menial work in said palace. She hears tell of a supposed curse plaguing the emperor’s newborn children and the concubines that birthed them, quickly deduces that it may be poisoning, and discreetly leaves a message for the ailing new mothers. She’s found out by an impossibly beautiful young administrator named Jinshi, who quickly deduces that she’s one of the few literate peons in the rear palace, and he puts her to work in the pavilion of the concubine that heeded her advice.

With her knowledge of, resistance to, and slightly masochistic infatuation with various poisons, Maomao slots right in as an attendant and poison tester to one of the emperor’s embattled concubines. Often at Jinshi’s urging (even though she immediately gets the ick at his habitual flirting), Maomao finds herself investigating deaths, mysterious ailments, and strange behaviors, on top of the foreign world of palace politics. Though she’s a deeply jaded person who only seems to care for her special interests, Maomao is incredibly perceptive and often able to suss out the finer details others miss.

Surprisingly, this one is a really breezy watch, and much funnier than you might expect. For all its lush environs, slowly-mounting intrigue, and often stunning cinematography, The Apothecary Diaries isn’t afraid to get a little silly with it. The dialogue is snappy, quick gags abound in a familiar single-panel chibi style you wouldn’t expect in a setting like this, and Komi-esque cat ears spontaneously pop up from Maomao's head whenever her interest is piqued. Interactions between Maomao and Jinshi are always a hoot, and you can pretty quickly figure out where it’s going, although Maomao can’t because she’s still pretty sure Jinshi is a eunuch.

As she does in virtually every role in her dozen-plus years as a seiyuu, Aoi Yuuki crushes it in the starring role. She really nails the disaffected cynicism that animates most of Maomao’s internal monologue and sarcastic dialogue, as well as her hair-trigger glee when presented with her personal interests in food and drink, medicinal herbs, and of course, poison. Yuuki is an indispensable element in ensemble casts like One Punch Man, Persona 5, Nier Automata, Wotakoi, and the aforementioned KamiKatsu (as well as others I don’t plan on watching like My Hero Academia, Rent-a-Girlfriend, and The Seven Deadly Sins), so it’s especially nice to hear her in a spotlight role outside of the odd Madoka Magica, spider isekai, or Cyberpunk Edgerunners.

There are a handful of anime on this list that will be continuing or returning in January, and second only to my #1 anime this year, this is the one I’m most excited to see more of. At time of writing, the show appears to be shifting in a new direction, and I’m hoping to see it take less of an episodic pace.

Part 3 is on the way! I'm going to split my top ten into two more posts, because I ended up writing... a lot more than I'd expected.

[hamiltonfilms]

Can we get Max x MotoGP part 2? Where she meets someone new and shes glowing and getting on the podiums?

And leave this fucked up place behind

part 1 - "Used to stick together"

Pairing: Max Verstappen x female!reader, lewis hamilton x female!reader

Summary: after cheating and breaking up with max you start to get over it love yourself again and finally meet someone who lets you be yourself

Warnings: alcohol, cigarettes, loving yourself again, partying,

a/n: so I like it and thank you for your request and I look forward to more requests haha, English is not my first language, sorry for the mistakes

photo credits: Pinterest

yourusername added to their story

yourusername

liked by charlottesiine, lewishamilton,redbullmotorsports, and others

yourusername summer break and the beginning of the season vibe

view all 1008 comments

charlottesiine love your aesthetic now girl

yourusername it's not a new aesthetic, I just started taking care of myself Chéri

incidentguy who is the mystery man?

y/nlovverr y/n in her 'it girl' era

liked by yourusername

yourusername added to their story

kellypiquet aded to their story

yourusername added to their story

Paris fashion week 2023

Seeing Max and Kelly together for fashion week broke my heart completely. Have I come to terms with the loss, not so much? My love for Max has always known no bounds. We broke up after ten years. Yes, after 10 fucking years. But honestly, it's probably even fun. For these ten years, I have always been in Max's shadow, even though I am in motorsport myself, fans and others have always seen him. Unlike Lewis, whom I have known since childhood. Lewis was about 4 years older than me but he always treated me better than Max. Suddenly someone snapped me out of my trance.

"I wouldn't have expected you here! Y/n it's good to see you" I'd recognize that voice anywhere "Not that I haven't been coming here since I was little! Nice to finally see you Lewis" The sarcasm in my voice was audible to everyone.

We were sitting next to each other, but when I saw who would be sitting next to us, I was terrified. Seeing Max and Kelly cuddling like us just made my heart ache. As I sat down I saw that they were looking at me with surprised eyes I smiled softly and said 'hey'. Fortunately, everything passed quickly and I was hoping that tomorrow I would get another place and if not, I would ask someone to change it. Lewis apologized to me because he had gone with someone to say goodbye and I found that I would quickly escape from there and back to the hotel. Suddenly Kelly started talking to me, I had no problem with her, on the contrary, I used to love her a lot now, but somehow we don't talk too much. Even when I was younger, I had a crush on her. However, our conversation didn't last long because I was a bit tired so I said goodbye to who I had and went to the exit. As I was near the exit door, someone grabbed my arm. When I turned around, I saw that it was Max.

' We need to talk' he gripped my arm tighter. 'we don't have to and you know what I don't even feel like it right now '

"Please give me 5 minutes and let's talk" his expression wasn't very nice "five minutes and seconds no more"

'Thank you! What do you think you'll come here, you'll be nice!' his tone of voice suddenly jumped up which made me flinch 'Listen Max because you're acting like the center of the world after these 10 years I've learned to live in your shadow alley I'm done with it. I'm happy at last and I want it to stay that way"

'you won't find anyone better than me' I took a step further but his tone was getting higher and higher 'anyone who doesn't cheat on me a hundred times will always be better

' 'you little whore, listen to me-' I shuddered again but someone interrupted him 'you must be doing something wrong, buddy, you don't call women that way '

'Y/n are you okay?' that soft lewis voice made me cry. 'Shh, let's go somewhere quiet. Don't be afraid of me sweetheart'

I couldn't calm down, maybe Max was right, I won't find anyone better in my life. Too many negative thoughts ran through my mind. I was sitting in the passenger seat and Lewis tried to calm me down. He stopped at a small shop and went inside. He quickly left with some cheap French wine and quickly left without speaking and just smiling. He stopped at the Eiffel Tower and got out, and so did I. We sat on the ground.

"you know he didn't deserve you he was always just an asshole so secretly I never liked him" a small giggle escaped my lips "you know I don't deserve you"

"Not true! You are unique and will remain so forever."

Lewis opened the wine and drank from Gwent handed me the bottle so I did the same. We started joking and reminiscing about old times and mocking my French accent when I turned 4 and moved to the UK with my mum. I don't know how this time will pass but it was already somewhere after 4 and the sun was slowly starting to dawn so we decided that we would start to gather. He drove me to the apartment I was renting for the duration of my stay in Paris. We were right at the door when I opened it.

"Are you coming in a minute or are you in a hurry?" he just smiled and walked in

He started looking around, and by then I had managed to put the rest of the wine in the fridge.

"what is it? Do I look bad?" just smile "you look like a walking angel"

I felt my cheeks turn red. But he kept staring. I quickly ignored it and went to take off my makeup and change into something more comfortable. I came out of the bathroom and he looked at me

"What?" I said confused. "Red Bull everywhere. would be better in a Mercedes t-shirt, baby"

Maybe if I wasn't driving for Red Bull I would have agreed, but for as long as I can remember he's been at Mercedes and I've been at Red Bull and he's biting me. But it was always fun for him and me, our inside joke. A lot of people thought we were something of a couple, but to him, I'll probably always be like a little sister. We sat on the couch and watched French TV, looking at Lewis' face, he didn't quite understand what was going on. My heart began to sway as Lewis puts his arm around me and laughs at the looney tunes that were on the TV, but I often saw him glance at me out of the corner of his eye. My eyes started to slowly close, I felt safe, I don't even know why. I leaned my head against his chest and started to fall asleep, he started stroking my head which caused butterflies in my stomach. I won't lie that I've always had a crush on him, but I tried to ignore that feeling, but it didn't always work out. I didn't want to ruin our relationship because he treated me like a little sister. I don't know when and how but my phone rang, it was 11 noon God I slept for a while. Next to me he slept sitting up on the couch like me lewis. So it wasn't a dream. It was a pity to wake him up so I quickly turned off the wake up call calmly broke free from the hug got dressed and went for a run because I had to ventilate my mind to think clearly. On the way, I stopped at a cafe for something for breakfast and coffee because there was nothing in the fridge. I came back an hour later and he was still asleep. I didn't have the heart to wake him up, so I tried to be as quiet as possible, but she saw him get up.

"Coffee or breakfast?" I asked in a voice loud enough for him to hear me "you don't even know how much I need this"

All I did was smile and hand him a cup of coffee and a waffle. He looked like a small child enjoying his favorite food. I felt warmth in my heart.

"Y/n we need to talk about something" I don't even know how stressed I was I just hid it under a smile "What's the problem?"

"Because that's the thing. Y/n I've just been in love with you since I can remember and I know it's a shit time cause you just broke up with Max but know that I love you if you don't then I completely understand and let's forget it" I felt that moment was not real and probably just a dream but I always dreamed about it and now I don't know how to act "Lewis because I love you too forever but I was afraid to make a move because I was afraid for our awesome friendship"

"We're both fucked up now will you make this magical moment and be my girlfriend" all I could do was cry and a hesitant "yes" came out of my mouth

"I changed our seats anyway and we won't be sitting next to Max and Kelly baby" I hugged him and felt more tears in my eyes "thank you so much"

He just smiled and went back to eating his breakfast. I went to collect it because there was little time left. Lewis went to the hotel to get himself together and he was supposed to pick me up and he did. Time passed quickly and we were already waiting for a place to sit, but we didn't have to wait long. Luckily Max was out of my sight and I was able to enjoy the show.

yourusername

liked by lewishamilton, charlottesiine, pierregasly and 26,522 others

yourusername You haven't seen my man 🧡

view all 31k comments

charlottesiine girl 😳

yourusername Well, a lot has changed for me

y/nhateclub she's so annoying, yet she found another one to be popular again

inchidentguy y/n and who? Sir Lewis Hamilton?

leclerc16lover I don't think so but we can manifest

yukiswheelsss she said soft launch

yourusername added to their story

tagged: heidiberger_

lewishamilton

liked by mercedesamgf1, charles_leclerc, susie_wolff and others

tagged yourusername

lewishamilton "I mixed a lot of love with a lot of drugs, then I found you."

view all 6.282 comments

yourusername you idiot, that was supposed to be a soft launch, not a fucking hard launch

lewishamilton I love you too sweetheart

susie_wolff you both look lovely, welcome to the family y/n 🧡

^liked by lewishamilton and yourusername

y/nhateclub 🤮🤮🤮

formulalewis they fit together so well

redbullmotorsports

liked by charlottesiine, lewishamilton,maxverstappen1, and others

tagged yourusername, motogp

redbullmotorsports the real RBR monster just wake up

see all comments

yourusername 'Cause I'm a fucking legend

leclerc16lover also wants to have an era of rematch and self-love after a breakup like y/n

charlottesiine mon chéri toujours au top

^liked by yourusername

yukiswheelsss our fav female driver

lewishamilton 💙

yourusername

portugal

liked by f1wags, lewishamilton, charles_leclerc and others

tagged: lewishamilton, charlottesiine, redbullmotorsports

yourusername another day another slay

see all comments

charlottesiine always supports you, baby 💗

liked by yourusername

stargirllover shes in her taylor swift era

paddockgf she posting pictures of lewis 🥺💙

formulalewis they are so cute

yourusername added to their story

lewishamilton added to their story

yourusername

liked by lewishamilton, f1wags and others

yourusername Family holidays

comments on this post are limited

lewishamilton you're glowing darling

yourusername not as you

danielricciardo I'm telling you from Heidi that you look beautiful

yourusername tell her I'm not as beautiful as she is

>>>>>>>>>>>>

a/n: I hope you like it because I tried haha and I'm waiting for more requests

[mochinek0]

I Could be a Better Boyfriend (sing-fic)

This is for Maribat Pride June 2023. It was suppose to be posted yesterday. 

THEME: I have a thing for blondes

Marinette looked around the gala and sighed. It had been three year since she moved to Gotham and she still wasn't a fan of the galas in Gotham. Jagged Stone always gave her his tickets, anyways.

'Why turn them down when you live there, Cupcake? Show off you designs. Be proud!'

She knew he was just trying to help her out. Both him and Penny were trying to convince her to open up her deisgns and go public. After Paris, she didn’t want anyone trying to claim anything about her. She had been hurt too many times before. It didn't matter that everyone now knew the truth. She had been too damaged to go back. She preferred animosity; Jagged and Penny gave that to her.

Marinette sighed as she dropped onto her bed. She wasn't sure why she was so upset. She had seen Stephanie's boyfriend sneak out of the gala, several times over the last couple months. Sometimes, Stephanie would leave instead. Mari couldn’t help but wonder if their relationship wasn't as great as it appeared. Stephanie Brown would just smile when people asked where the CEO had gone and said he had to step out or something urgent came up.

It hurt to see her alone. She had spoken to her before about fashion and sweets. Marinette hoped one day she'd be able to call Steph a friend. They had spoken briefly a couple times before about fashion and sweets. She laughed when she learned she had a giant sweet tooth. She knew her parents would have loved her.

Marinette closed her eyes when an image of Luka came to her mind. It had been awhile since she thought of him, of Paris.

'Marinette, I know you don't want to say anything, but maybe you should at least write it down. You might not notice something right away, but you will be able to look back and see changes. Feelings change; it's normal. You might even notice something new or something you never even imagined possible.'

Marinette sipped her drink as she watched Stephanie and Tim Drake argue silently again. It seemed like the blonde was trying to get him to stop from leaving, but he broke free and left anyways. Marinette shook her head and turned at a compliment about her dress. She still wasn't ready for the world to know her identity. She would just smile and say her uncle's designer made it for her.

Once home, Marinette opened her notebook and began to write her feelings down. Many people had complimented her latest design. It was rewarding to hear so many compliments about her designs. What stuck out the most to her that night was Stephanie again. She hated feeling angry. I quick shower was the best way to wash away the anger.

Once she was out of the shower, she picked her notebook back up and read through it: I can't believe Stephanie is still dating Tim Drake. She doesn't seem like the kind to stay with someone for money. She should leave him! Stephanie deserves someone better than him. Who cares if he's a CEO?

Marinette frowned at her thoughts. She turned the pages back and began to read from the start. She had a year woth of notes. When Marinette had started this, she thought it would be a notebook full of abuse. She would show it to Steph and tell her how much better she was without Tim. That wasn't what she was reading.

Mari blushed as she read page after page, further cementing her thoughts. When she reached the page she had written that night, she turned the page and picked up a pen. Mari closed her eyes and quickly wrote down her feelings. She opened her eyes and saw it staring back at her.

'I haven't been upset. I've been jealous! Thanks, Luka.'

Marinette walked into the studio and looked around. She hoped to speak to Jagged about something.

"Hey, Cupcake." Jagged called out, "You usually don't show up in person, unless it's for a fitting. What's up?"

Marinette blushed and admitted, "I….I wrote a song."

"You did?" Jagged asked, standing up excited.

"It's probably not very good, but-" she began to say.

"Can I see it?" he questioned.

Marinette opened her bookbag and held out her notebook. Jagged looked over the lyrics, curiously and smiled.

"Think we can put a beat to it in the studio?" the rock star asked, "Would you be able to sing it?"

"Actually I wanted you to sing it." Marinette declared, blushing, "Not-It does not have to be released. I-I was thinking about giving it to someone."

"I have to hear you sing this." Jagged stated, "Please!"

I can't believe we're finally alone

I can't believe I almost went home

What are the chances? Everyone's dancing

And he's not with you

The universe must have divined this

What am I gonna do? Not grab your wrist?

I could be a better boyfriend than him

I could do the shit that he never did

Up all night, I won't quit

Thinking I'm gonna steal you from him

I could be such a gentleman

Plus all my clothes would fit

"You sound wonderful, Cupcake!" the rock star announced.

"So, you'll sing it?" Marinette questioned, happily.

"No." he answered.

"What?" his designer asked.

"This is your song." Jagged declared, "You have to sing it."

"But I can't!" Mari replied, "I-"

Jagged pressed a button and let Marinette's voice flow over them.

"Cupcake, I can't give this song the emotions youre singing." he stated, calmly.

Marinette sat as she listened to her own voice.

"It could be a single?" Jagged spoke.

"But it's personal." she whispered.

"Most songs are. Musicians write about what inspires us. It's not always happy feelings, either. We write and sing so that people know they're not alone. Why else would there be so many break up songs?" the rock star spoke, "I'm sure there are other people who are feeling the way you are right now. No one has to know it's you. We can think of a rock and roll name. Anytime you think of songs and you decide to sing it, we can put it under that name."

Marinette tilted her head as she thought about her options. Jagged refused to sing it for her, but gave her the option to record it. Instead of personally handing her the song, it could be something they talked about in passing. She would never know it was her voice she was listening to. Animosity wasn't something new to her. No one knew she was Jagged Stone's personal designer. Besides, she usually only sang in the shower. No one hear her singing in passing.

"Okay." Mari sighed, "On two conditions. We create another alias; not my designer name."

"Not a problem." Jagged smiled, "What's the second?"

"No one but the recording studio knows who I am. Not even Luka or Juleka." she declared.

"What?" he asked, shocked, "But-"

"Not a word." Marinette pleaded, "I don't wanna be up on stage or end up doing duets. Nothing like that."

"Deal." he smiled.

It had been almost six months since the last gala when she walked back through those double doors. Almost instantly, she was able to spot Stephanie. She was alone again. Marinette took a deep breath and made her way over.

I could be a better boyfriend

I don't need to tell you twice

All the ways he can't suffice

If I could give you some advice

I would leave with me tonight

The universe must have divined this, mmm, mmm

Ladies first, baby, I insist

Marinette quickly noticed that Stephanie seemed shocked by her presence.

'Oh, God. Maybe she didn't want to talk to me. Maybe she was avoiding me. I look fine, right?'

She had worn a sweetheart, strapless lavender dress with a cape. Marinette had worked her hair into a bun and curled the loose hairs. Before Marinette could ask the blonde if she was okay, Tim appeared in front of them with a smile. The designer smiled back, but Tim and Steph quickly recognized it as the fake 'Brucie' smile.

Tim cleared his throat, "I don't think we've ever met before." and held out his hand.

Marinette kept her hand at her sides.

"No." she responded, "You usually run off, at some point in the middle of these things, over the last few years."

Tim paled. He never expected someone to notice him leaving to change into Red Robin.

I could be a better boyfriend than him

I could do the shit that he never did

Up all night, I won't quit

Thinking I'm gonna steal you from him

I could be such a gentleman

Plus all my clothes would fit

I could be a better boyfriend than him

I could be a better boyfriend

"Ha-Have you met Steph before?" Tim questioned, nervously.

Stephanie smiles, "A few times, actually, but you know how these things are. We barely get to say hi or hear a speech before anyone can introduce themselves."

Tim nodded, "So, are you learning the ropes to take over the family business?"

"I left the family business a long time ago." Marinette stated, "I'm here for my own business."

"You're own business?" Stephanie asked.

"Yes." The designer answered.

Tim began to panic. He couldn't remember inviting someone influential around his age. Obviously, she was because she had been here multiple times.

'Who is she?'

Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed his blonde counterpart bobbing her head.

"Are you to that song again?" He asked.

"What song?" Mari questioned.

The blonde looked around and popped an earbud out from behind her ear. She handed it to the designer. Marinette placed it in her ear.

'It's my song!'

I never would have left you alone

Here on your own glued to your phone

Never would have left you alone

For someone else to take you home

I could be a better boyfriend than him

I could do the shit that he never did

Up all night, I won't quit

I'm gonna steal you from him

I could be such a gentleman

Plus you know my clothes would fit

Marinette blushed as she watched Stephanie smile.

"Steph is obsessed with the song." Tim commented.

"It's amazing!" Stephanie declared, "I probably would have broken up him sooner if any girl had walked up to me and told me this."

Tim rolled his eyes, "It was a mutual break up."

"You-You're not together?" Marinette questioned.

"Nope." the blonde answered, "We're exes."

"Who are weirdly….adopted siblings or I guess you could say we fit better as siblings?" Tim tried to explain better, "Bruce has weird adoption habits."

Steph smirked and asked jokingly, "You wouldn't happen to have a tragic past or were possibly orphaned, were you?"

"Oh!" Marinette replied, shocked, "Um, bullied and emancipated. My parents bought my bullies bullshit."

Tim and Stephanie froze, before the side-eyed each other.

'Blue eyes. Black hair. Tragic past. She fits the Wayne bill, alright.'

Marinette giggled, "Don't worry. I've already been unofficially adopted by someone else. I'd like to see Bruce Wayne fight him, though."

"Fight who?" Bruce questioned, emerging from nowhere.

"Bruce!" his kids called him, shocked.

'They seem on edge.'

Bruce looked to the girl across from them. He had seen her at a couple galas, but could never place her.

'What did she do?'

"There ya are, Cupcake!" a voice cried.

"Jagged Stone!" Stephanie and Tim shouted.

"Uncle Jagged!" the girl cried as she hugged the rock legend.

"Bruce, this is my designer and neice." Jagged stated, "I've been giving her my tickets for the last couple ears since she lives in the city. M is an amazing bundle of talent and full of surprises."

"Wait!" Tim spoke, "You're a designer?"

Mari nodded.

Steph gasped, "Are you MDC?"

Marinette blushed and nodded.

"Can you design for me?" Tim asked.

"No, me!" Stephanie exclaimed.

"I asked her first!" Tim growled.

"She knows me better!" Steph declared.

Off to the side, Bruce and Marinette hid their embarrassment, while Jagged just laughed.

"Sorry, Stephanie, but you need to learn how to treat a lady." Tim spoke, putting his arm around Marinette's waist.

Marinette quickly grabbed Tim's arm, rotated it and threw him to the ground.

"I find it's better to keep a man on his toes." the designer declared.

Tim wavered under her glare. Bruce looked between them.

'Okay. Something definetly happened between these two. Is she one of Tim's exes?'

Mari shifted her attention back to the blonde, "I'd love to create something for you."

Stephanie quickly hugged her. Marinette quickly pushed her away and backed up towards Jagged Stone.

"Oh, um-" arinette began to mumble.

Jagged placed his hands on her shoulders, "Why don't you both go to the dance floor? Inspire yourselves."

Marinette slowly held out her hand for the blonde female to take. Stephanie smiled and took her hand, leading them both to the dance floor.

"Jagged?" Bruce questioned.

"Sorry about that, Mate." the musician spoke, "She isn't use to physical contact anymore. Cupcake can take care of herself, as your son found out."

Tim dusted off his clothes, as he looked at the girls questionably. He still knew nothing about MDC. He still didn’t have a name. Jagged called her Cupcake or M. He knew she was emancipated so her name could be completely different from what it once was, for all he knew.

Stephanie cautiously grabbed Marinette's waist as the reached the dance floor. Marinette tensed slightly, but forced herself to relax. Marinette took a step forward and began the dance.

"You know, I thought you and Tim were still dating." Marinette admitted.

Stephanie smiled, "We broke up about a year ago."

"Oh." Mari spoke, "It was…mutual; I think he said?"

"Yeah." the blonde stated, "We sorta mutually decided we wanted to explore the same sex, with out each other."

"Huh?" the designer asked, not understanding.

Steph giggled, "I was checking out girls and he was checking out guys."

"Oh!" Marinette spoke.

"Tim's dating a red head, who thinks one of his older brothers is secretly Nightwing because of the whole 'The Butts Match' theory." Stephanie explained.

Marinette laughed, "Oh, no!"

"We can see Tim loves him." the blonde smiled.

"That's sweet." Mari smiled, softly.

"I hope that doesn't make this weird?" Steph suddenly questioned.

"Weird?" the designer asked, "What is weird?"

"Us dancing." Stephanie whispered.

"N-No!" Marinette blushed, "I-I'm actually in the same boat…..actually."

"Really?" Stephanie asked in shock.

"It was a recent discovery." Mari admitted, "I know I've had crushes on guys in the past and-"

"You realized you might not be into just guys?" Steph finished.

Marinette nodded in embarrassment, "It took me months to realize how I felt."

The two left the unspoken words hang in the air as they continued to sway to the music. Stephanie recognized the familiar tune to her new favorite song, as the tune began to play in the Raycons. Before she could hum along, she heard the song louder than ever. The blonde looked up to see her dance partner's lips repeat the lyrics.

I could be a better boyfriend than him

I could do the shit that he never did

Up all night, I won't quit

Thinking I'm gonna steal you from him

I could be such a gentleman

Plus all my clothes would fit

Stephanie moved on auto-pilot, but she could feel her cheeks were burning hot.

'The cute girl who kept talking to me- I can't believe it; she's the singer to my favorite song! I wonder if I can convince her to meet up and have lunch with me. She looks adorable tonight! She's even wearing my favorite color! She likes girls, too. I might have a chance…if only I knew her name!'

Marinette pulled away from Stephanie when someone cleared their throat loudly. She turned and glared, only to spot Jagged looking sheepish.

"Penny has an issue with Fang." he spoke.

Marinette sighed, "He got into the closet again, didn't he?"

"F-Fang?" Steph questioned, still reeling over Marinette's identity.

"Uncle Jagged's pet crocodile." Mari answered.

"Sorry, Cupcake." Jagged apologized.

"It was nice to see you again, Stephanie." Marinette declared and handed her back her Raycon, "I'm sure I'll see you at another gala. I…have to go wrangle a crocodile and save what is left of my deisgns."

Stephanie stood on the middle of the dance floor. She watched as people quickly stepped out of her way with Jagged Stone, apologizing. She didn't even notice Tim approach her.

"What's got you all twisted?" he asked, causing her to break contact.

"New crush on the designer." she whispered, looking back to where she had left.

"Already?" Tim questioned.

Stephanie nodded.

"Well, that should stop Bruce from adopting her." he chuckled.

"Sooooo?" Jagged teased, as Marinette looked over her design book, "You have a thing for blondes?"

Marinette could feel her cheeks heat up, but kept her eyes focused on her sketches.

"I don't know, yet." she replied.

"Does she have green eyes?" he questioned.

"Blue." Mari answered.

"The song was for her, wasn't it?" Jagged asked.

Marinette merely nodded.

"Think you have a chance with this one?" he prodded.

"Yes." Marinette answered with a smile, "She liked my song."

Jagged merely smiled as his designer continued to focus on her designs.

TAG LIST: @animeweebgirl @a-star-with-a-human-name @meme991001 @vixen-uchiha @abrx2002 @alysrose-starchild @fandom-trapped-03 @dood-space @moonlightstar64 @saltymiraculer @marveldcedits20 @09shell-sea09 @icerosecrystal @animegirlweeb @insane-fangirl-of-everything @blueblossombliss @nickristus-dreamer @megawhitleycalderonpaganus @missmadwoman @meira-3919  @princessdaisysolosyourfaves @blep-23 @fangirlingfanatic @darkhinauniverse @ravenr22 @im-a-satanic-ritual @ravennm84  @bianca-hooks123 @a-slytherinish-gryffindor @starling218 @maribat-calendar-events​

[essential-randomness]

Ms Boba’s Quarterly Extravaganza Part 2: Where is The BobaVerse™ at?

[from the start] [blog version] [$upport me (and get this in your inbox)]

(or better said, “where was the BobaVerse at in July 2023, when this was written?“)

While a vision like this poses a lot of questions, the most important one is also simple: can this all be set up for success before I run out of money and have to go back to sell my OP programming/marketing skills to some VC-backed company?

The process of getting to sustainably build things is a treacherous and complex one, one that must account for the (unfortunately inevitable) failures along the way. Learning is a fundamental part of the building process!

We fail, we learn, we get up, we go back to trying!

Wins & Losses

In more practical fashion, the first half of this year (back in July) saw quite a few wins under our belt! The highlight is @fujowebdev, our successfully Kickstarted guide to Git and GitHub that will help us clear the highest hurdle to collaboration: teaching Version Control.

We also had a few Ls, which we don’t shy away from! For one, the Kickstarter was an immense amount of effort (but worth it); I’m incredibly far from covering my rent (so I can keep at this); and life just Keep Happening™ to both me and volunteers, which makes collaboration hard!

How to Help

So how can you help? Well, we did have some requests, and we did get help with a bunch of them! Right now (for how uncomfortable that is to say) the main thing we need is recurring income. Our runway is getting shorter, and every little bit helps us focus on building and not fundraising!

The most impactful way is to support me directly, either on Patreon or on my website. If you can’t give yourself, consider pitching it to friend(s) that want to help build a better web!

If you’d rather give one time, we’re running a 2023 holidays fundraiser with exciting discounts! It won’t give you early Town Hall access (unlike patron support), but you can get sleek Yaoi cheese paddles or Ship Ownership certificates for you or a friend!

See you all in edition #2!

Next

Read this all as a blog post

Back to Part 0 – Intro

Back to Part 1 – What is The BobaVerse™?

$upport all this

[flightfoot]

ML Fanfic Recs for 2023: 80K - 125K Words

So I’ve been going through and adding particularly good fics I’ve read throughout the year. Only Complete fics, of course. Enjoy!

---

Tell Me Why You Love Me by @linnieluna

“Anyway, that piece of paper contains the name of this texting app. It’s completely anonymous, so you can download it, make your account with no attachments to your personal life, and communicate with me outside our suits. I included my username on the paper, too, so you can add me once you’re done."

Her partner skimmed through the words on the paper and nodded his head. “Brilliant as always, M’lady. I’m surprised we didn’t figure this out sooner within our superhero careers.”

“Yeah, it would’ve been nice to have this before, but hey, better late than never. Make sure not to have your phone screen on the messages if you’re going to leave it somewhere. We don’t want anyone reading our texts. Also, this is for emergencies only. No jokes or puns. I can only deal with you for so long.”

“I don’t know if I can agree to that last one,” he said.

Now 22 and working full-time, Marinette and Adrien seem to be getting busier and busier, which means fewer opportunities to keep track of akumas and show up on time. With the idea of using a messaging app to communicate with each other without revealing their identities, their lives immediately grew to be easier... until it wasn't.

This starts off as a mostly slice-of-life fluff fic, but about halfway through things turn dramatic when Monarch learns some things he really shouldn’t and takes action. I had a lot of fun with it as it was coming out, it’s worth a read.

---

Kwami Magi Homura Magica by Crossoverpairinglover

After eighty-four loops in time, Homura Akemi takes a new path to Paris to save her friends.

The sixty-third loop after that, Homura arrived at the Agreste Mansion.

After clash after clash with the heroes of Paris and its greatest menace, events have reached a tipping point.

Ladybug faces someone verging on a second wish, a wish that endangers space and time to save a friend.

This was an absolutely AMAZING story that crossoverpairinglover dropped out of NOWHERE. Seriously, if you like Puella Magi Madoka Magica and Miraculous Ladybug, this is a real treat - but be prepared to sit down and binge, because it’s over 100,000 words and only has three chapters. 

Anyway, I adore the care that’s taken with going through Homura’s mindset here, she gets a lot of character focus. And the lore! There’s some good explanations here for the history behind kwamis and Incubators’ interactions, and the Order of the Guardians normally treats Magical Girls, and why the Incubators are wrong in their assessment of the universe needing more energy to stave off entropy (hint: it involves Plagg), and just... there was a lot of love put into this.

And the action! Most Miraculous fics don’t have much in the way of fight scenes, and what they do have is mostly just functional. This is one of the rare exceptions. There’s some really long, detailed fight scenes in this (roughly the entire second half of the second chapter has one between Ladybug and Homura), which are a treat to read! 

We also get some glimpses into a variety of other universes here, other timelines, alternate ways things could have gone down - I’m especially partial to the rather detailed view we get of one where Homura sent a message asking for help to the Ladyblog on her third time loop, and how things progressed from there. 

The ending I also thought was really good, a happy ending that generally made sense and dealt with the issue of the Incubators. 

If you can’t tell I’m really happy with this fic, it was incredible and unexpected. The length of the individual chapters can be daunting, but if you’re up for the task, I highly recommend giving it a shot!

---

If I Let Myself Love You by @uptoolateart

It’s hard to be a normal girl with a normal life when your mother has terminal cancer. And when fashion model Adrien Agreste moves back to Paris and wants to be Marinette’s friend – or maybe even more – her life is turned upside down again.

How can she risk opening her heart to love when her whole world is falling apart? Especially when Adrien is hiding a dark secret of his own….

- COMPLETE FIC – updates on Sundays

*** No kwamis AU - 100% Adrinette. About half of it is fluffy and half heavy. Please read tags for trigger warnings. ***

This fic can be rough, definitely pay attention to the tags. There’s no villains in this story, it mostly centers around themes of dealing with illness - both being sick and having a loved one who’s terminally ill - and death, grieving someone who’s lost, and how difficult that can be. It can get pretty gut-wrenching at times, especially as you slowly discover more layers of what’s really going on, what both Adrien and Marinette are hiding, both from others and from themselves in order to help cope with their circumstances. But they still move forwards together, regardless.

---

Eventually by @lucid-ao3

Adrien’s life has been dictated by rules, monitored, and controlled for years. He has learned to compartmentalize. It’s not that bad. It always gets better, eventually. Doesn’t it?

Recovery can be an unexpected obstacle when you didn’t realize you were being hurt in the first place.

OR: How Adrien lives and copes with the emotional abuse inflicted on him over the years, and how he ultimately could overcome it.

If you want a good “Adrien doesn’t realize how abusive his father is but slowly buckles more and more under his tyranny, until things come to a head, and he actually gets the HELP HE NEEDS” fic, this is a good one!

---

Between the Heavens and the Embers by @readersmoon

Everyone in Paris remembers the fateful night of January 16, when the city was attacked by the most powerful and destructive akuma ever created. The assault, which lasted for hours, resulted in the death of 439 people.

Marinette Dupain-Cheng was among the casualties.

Years later, Adrien hasn't been able to move on, haunted by the memories of her broken body. So, when the opportunity to leave Paris for a while presents itself, he doesn't hesitate. But this trip might end up giving him more than he ever dreamt of.

This is a fantastic fic, though a serious and a dark one - make sure to mind the tags, and it’s M-rated for a reason. Vee - or rather, Marinette - is going through a horror story here. Imagine finding out that your life is a lie, that everyone you thought you could trust was manipulating you, that you were just being continually gaslit for years. 

As for Adrien, Alya, and Nino... well, none of them took Marinette’s “death” all that well, especially Adrien. Finding out that she’s been alive all this time, in these horrible circumstances, and they had no clue... it’s hard on them as well.

I love how this fic goes into how much trauma everyone has even after the immediate danger’s dealt with, you don’t just walk off this kind of experience, especially with how many years this lasted.