#20 yr old me was cooking

[authenticcadence18]

I’ve been re-reading can’t help falling in love and AGHHHHH it really does make me happy🥺

[imsofreakingtired]

So i just thought of this. Age gap romance is hot and all but lets be fr, it aint long before the younger one is gonna watch their old lover slowly slip away as time pass by. Imagine reader is just there, holding sevika's hand (who's now old, like really old, basically in her death bed) slightly tearing up, knowing it aint long before she passes away.

Side note: Hi, I've been stalking your page for a while, so apologies if im sometimes blasting your notifications, I really love your incorrect quotes xD they always made my day.

pls dont apologize!! i love it when u pop up in my inbox or in the notes!! ...but you are gonna KILL me with this ask. i’m gonna fight tooth and nail to make this at least a little fluffy bc my mental stability is hanging on by a thread as it is

hcs: with her to the end

this was bittersweet to write…oh i pray i just want her to live a long and fulfilling and peaceful life :(( 

the age gap between you and sevika is roughly ~20 yrs (she is in her early 40s by the end of canon). when the two of you first start seeing each other, Sevika agonizes over this in silence. she knows she loves you, wants to commit to you as long as you’ll have her. but she doesn’t want to hold you back. doesn’t want to take you away from the prime of your life. she’s also half convinced you’ll leave her as soon as her age catches up. she’ll express these anxieties in jokes, but you see right through her.  like if she forgets something important and you tease her for it, she’ll crack a smile and say “yeah, I’m two more slips away from the nursing home, huh?”  and you look at her seriously and say “nice try. you’re not getting away that easy, woman—you’re stuck with me.” 

the streaks of grey in her hair will eventually cover her head and she decides to just get a buzzcut. you never miss a moment to tell her how beautiful she is. because she is. seated at her council seat, now a respected Zaunite representative, swathed in her cloaks of deep colors, her grey eyes as piercing as ever. the wrinkles in her face tell stories of unimaginable pain and endurance, they are markers of her survival. and the charming lines at the corners of her eyes show the joy she discovered when she met you.

as she ages she’ll become more irritable, her vision and hearing declines and she can’t move as easily as she used to. snaps at everyone who tries to help—the only person she is okay with taking care of her is you.

as her memory fades you sit by her for long, quiet hours, telling her stories of her own achievements. reminding her of the hopes she had for Zaun. quietly passing over the darkest memories. she never quite believes you when you tell her about all that she has done, how important she was to the revolution. “I did that? I rallied them together for the battle at Noxus?” “Yes, Vika. It was all you.”  

she falls in love with you like it’s the first time, over and over again. calls your name out in a troubled tone after a nap, thinking you’re gone. when you emerge in the doorway a relieved smile spreads over her face and she holds out her right hand to you. you wrap your hands over hers, her once-strong fingers now bent and spotted, and kiss her cheek. “I was just in the garden. I’m not going anywhere, love. Don’t worry.”

you fill the house with flowers and sunlight. you tend to the garden and bring in fresh flowers every morning. you wrap her in blankets when she gets too cold, cook her the foods she remembers from childhood, and read to her until she dozes off in her chair. when the doctors tell you she will not have much time left, you throw aside all your external duties to spend every minute of the day with her. you don’t want to think about a future without her, so you make the most of every moment you spend with her. even when long stretches of time pass where she looks at you and doesn’t recognize your face. when she calls you by another name, or forgets your name altogether.

when Sevika passes away, it will be quiet. it will be warm and peaceful and painless. you were sitting at the bedside, holding her hand, chatting to her in a low voice about little nothings. when she leans back and closes her eyes, as softly as if going to sleep, you know it is time. she has always slept with a scowl on her face, as if ready for danger even in sleep. but this time her brows are relaxed, a deep peace settling on her expression.

and there’ll be a great funeral ceremony for the Zaunite Councilor; the bridges will be decked in her colors and people from Zaun and Piltover alike crowd the streets to mourn her passing. she was one of the greatest leaders of the revolution the cities had ever known, and you take comfort in knowing her deeds will be remembered, her legacy cherished.

sometimes you walk through the rooms late at night, unable to sleep without the sound of her deep breathing, thinking of all the memories you shared with her. it feels sometimes that she has only gone away on one of her business trips and will come through the door at any moment, tall and strong, demanding in her low voice, “where’s my girl?” but you know she is at peace and that she passed knowing she was loved and valued. and you know it will not be too long before you will join her again, wherever she is now—far from the pain, but still close to you.

[chopstick-heartes]

Doing one of these because I need encouragement because I’m starting to get discouraged about life

If this gets:

10 notes: I’ll drink more water

20 notes: I’ll fix my bed

50 notes: I’ll give away the schoolbooks I’ve had for two years that are just sitting in my closet (Done!)

100 notes: I’ll work harder to earn more money to replace my headphones (they’re like 4 yrs old) (HAHAAAAAAA DONE)

150 notes: I’ll tell my parents how exhausting it makes me to perform certain basic activities (FJCKING DONE)

200 notes: I’ll talk to my parents about their dismissive attitude of my mental and physical difficulties (DONEEEEEEEEE)

300 notes: I’ll talk to my parents about allowing me to cook for myself (if I cook I have to cook for the whole family which seriously discourages me from doing it and now I won’t cook unless forced to)

400 notes: I’ll talk to my mom about her barging into my room without knocking first or waiting for me to say it’s okay

500 notes: I’ll do a full clean of my room

600 notes: I’ll ask my parents if I can open commissions to make myself some more money 

700 notes: I’ll try to get a cashapp 

800 notes: I’ll try to fix my sleep schedule

Doubt this is gonna make it past 20 notes but I can hope

[fruityumbrella]

your fav zosan hcs?

hi omg im so sorry i took so long to answer this 😔

honestly confused trying to answer this bc my hcs are so fixed and also i think common w others that they are canon to me 😭

taller sanji!!

theyre both so touch starved they dont know how to handle it. the way they Do handle it is...badly

they remind each other of home!! for zoro its someone who pushes him to be better and is not nice about it at all, giving him smth to strive for on a daily basis (different to his long term plan for mihawk); for sanji ofc the rough and tumble nature of their argumentative dynamic reminds him of the baratie and lets him show his affection in the manner that is most comfortable and familiar to him

are these hcs? i fear im losing the plot...

both of them being entirely inexperienced in romance and sex, and acting like theyre certified experts. sanji quickly discovering that half the things that he's daydreamed wistfully about for years and wanted so bad kind of suck? cuddling is. uncomfortable. too hot and sticky and confining and his arm is dead and his hair is messed up and zoro snores and ugh this is not romantic at all!! but the first time he tries to sleep alone after ages of being with zoro he cant fall asleep for hours

they dont like each other in spite of their weird gross traits but because of them. its not like sanji Tolerates or tries to Fix zoros annoying habits of being unwashed and rude and whatever, unfortunately he finds that shit very hot 😭 and zoro knows sanji is not always as clean and put together as he likes to project, and his favourite thing is how sanji shows him smth truer in ways he rarely does with others. they never have to try and be anything but exactly what they are with each other

cosigning @piratehunted on the modern au car choices: zoro w a beat up jeep that everyone suspects he lived in for an indeterminate period of time, and sanji with an old but impeccably well preserved and well loved classic car courtesy of zeff. yes it takes an insane amount of upkeep and he's considering stockpiling replacement parts bc they are probably 6 months away from being taken entirely out of production, but its zeffs baby and sanji will die before he lets her fall into disrepair

perhaps there should be some kind of mechanic au for this...i loathe making zoro do anything that isnt kendo but i could make an exception for this..

oh speaking of! my "college au" hc is actually never a college au and more just an "early 20s" au bc sanji would never go to college BE SERIOUS the guy dropped out of school at 8 yrs old. hes not even in culinary school hes working shitty line cook jobs and using leftover produce to try and create his own menu for when he has his own spot. zoro is an instructor/trainer to support his dream (i like to think its still kendo or another traditional martial art but go w god. as long as its NEVER american football)

they should have a cat. my fave hc is a lil tuxedo cat named onigiri (named in honour of a cat i met at a cat cafe) but ive seen a fic where theyve got a cat named miso which is SO cute. and the bestie @bobalegsanji has proposed tiramisu as well which is adorable and true

umm ok sorry this got kind of long i think i could shrimply yap about the beautiful fucked up dynamic they have in my mind foreverrrr

[your-favourite-yapper]

Biblically accurate Remus lupin hcs (sorta modern au)

Tall but w the weirdest ratio of legs to arms to torso

The worst ugliest handwriting EVER

Probably a minecraft kid (20 yrs old)

The weirdest facial expressions like his face DOES NOT match w what is coming out his month

Has been said alot by @mrstellmeafuckingsecret but is the biggest crybaby

Mama's boy

First time he was wo his mom was at uni and he cried himself to sleep for 3 weeks

Structures his sentences funny

Cannot tie a tie

Cannot cook

Cannot knit

Cannot crochet

(He still makes crocheted gifts for sirius)

Cannot REALLY pull off any style except the grandpa sweaters and like sweatpants

makes the funniest noises under his breath

Acc not that dumb but just, not good enough esp compared to his friends

However he is the biggest Dumbo in terms of street smarts

He gets scammed 5 times a week

And then he calls Sirius and cries 2 him abt it

Organizes his shelf by authors and not genre

Uses the most banged up iPhone 12

And when it was time to sell it

He cried

He got his first car at like 20 from his dad

Bc he was too scared to acc drive even tho he got his license the earliest

Ev it broke down completely

And he cried

A chocolate SNOB

Will not buy gas station schocolate

No no it's ALL name brands for him >:)

rlly wants to get suppeeer good grades to make his parents proud

Even tho they don't rlly cate that much abt stuff like grades

He blushes at his ears

Fingers constantly covered in pen ink bc he uses a burst pen

He bites the pen cover

The pickiest eater (me)

Will not eat food if there's a visible: onion, vegetable esp cabbages and spinach, mushroom, etc etc

Well he'll eat it but he WONT enjoy it

Enjoys watching cooking shows, cooking tiktoks but does not function in a kitchen

the SLOWWST reader ever

It takes him like 2 months to fin a small novel book

Not bc he's dumb or anything he LIVES for reading into the stuff, annotating etc etc

Hates coffee

Hates most sugary gums

Hates the smell of most colognes (excpet siriuss)

A BIG hit w older grandma type ladies

At a family function he's always surrounded by grandmas in their pink petticoats and gossiping

Bc he DOES gossip

Will feel VERY bad after

But he still does it

ONe thing he WONT do is confront/argue w someone to their face

He got into like 2?? Arguments ever and cried after each one

He'll be a bit rude or snarky if he's REALLY mad

But that's it

Does not have tiktok

Does not have snapchat

Does not have Twitter

Does not know how to use insta

I feel like he's chronically offline except for utube

But he still knows the most important brainrot terms

He's just a chill guy 🥺🥺

Triple checks EVRY text message b4 he sends to make sure no punctuation errors or spelling mistakes

HATES presentations

Litr puked after doing one once(or twice or three times)

Can not hold his liquor

But he's like immune to weed

Has no idea how to style his hair

He doesn't do ANYTHING to it

Has onky gotten one(1) haircut by his mum in high-school

And that's it

Can handle the most explicit smut (not that he activeky looks for it in a book)

But the moment 2 characters kiss in a movie he gasps like an old lady

Spent sm time w his mum and her crew of old grandma's so when he first met his friends he acted like an old lady

Said stuff like : "oh golly"and shit

And he swore too bc of his dad

So like it was "oh my fucking gosh" (bc saying god is blasphemy)

Can read social cues just doesn't kno what to do w them

Thinks: "Oh yeah shes obvi v mad bc she used her own perfume and not her bfs bc they got into an argument"

Says: "Hows ur bf ?"

Is acc very good at playing the recorder

Or another equally obscure instrument

Knows sm abt rocks and bugs

Has a rock collection he started when he was like 6 to this day

Terrifi3d of the dark

Gets new pj's once every year

Terrified of children

Terrified of scary music

Terrified of all his friends secretly hating him

When Sirius confessed his feelings Remus did NOT know what to day

Litr looked like 😮🫢😯

To this day feels like Sirius could do better

Looks v awkward in a suit

Has nvr entered a gym in his LIFE

but he's sorta?? In shape?? bc he takes silly little walks in the morning

Takes FOREVER to get out of bed

He wakes up b4 james at like 4am but is still sleepy and in the process of waking up at 10am

has a self-imposed bedtime of 10pm

Any longer than that and he's v angry

Has nvr pulled an all-nighter

In hs his mom would tell him to go sleep

And so when it was time for college he just didn't want to

Makes the worst dadjokes

His jokes are funny BECAUSE of his delivery

Esp when he's w his close friends

But w other ppl he ruins a bomb 10/10 joke w his terrible delivery

He likes to think that he's indie and listens to underground artists

But his faves are the same as every1 else in this world

Except for one artist w like 50 monthly listeners and their top song has 1k streams on spotify and they haven't released new music in 3yrs

His way of showing love is by acts of service

His way of receiving love is words of affirmation

But he legit doesn't kno what to do when he gets a compliment

Looks like this when u give him 1 🧍‍♂️

It's not bc he doesn't get any its just that he Gen doesn't kno what to say

Smiles weird

Stands weird

Walks weird

Eats weird

laughs weird

Terrified of ALL animals

Doesnt hate them tho

Just is v scared of them

Has planned the most evil pranks

The boy is NOT an angel

his fav shows are: children's show(and not in the an animated rilm that acc has good lessons and is like for kids 7-8 way, i mean he watches shit like "tayo the little bus" and "storybots"), a wild ripoff of a popular TV show, and a boring nature documentary

is probably a trs pet not in the way he likes the tr he just Gen can't say no to a figure of authority (not in that way tho)

LOVES his parents

Has the prettiest eyelashes ughhh

Has the prettiest ugly nose ever

Has the prettiest di

Is v aware of his body AT ALL TIMES

So bc of this when he tries to be "natural"

He's v much overthinking it

And he looks low-key robotic

His preferneces: fluff > smut > angst

My boy canNOT handle sad literature, paintings, songs, movies

He's also mine <3

Btw all this info is 100% acc bc he litr told me this in my dreams

[mjrtaurus]

Sometimes I remember at least 60% of social interaction Dragon has is with teenagers/20 yr olds

And I’m just thinking how they would affect his language cause sometimes I think instead of him being super cringe with it, he just integrates super naturally.

“Iva we are cooked.”

“It’s me I’m the weather boy and I ain’t telling you shit.”

“What do you think chat? Should we kill this pig?”

“I already knew I’m a beta cuck! I wrote beside my star sign!”

“Let me eat my girl dinner in peace.”

“I don’t wanna be the leader. Anymoreee I want to be a boyfailure and write bad pornnnnn”

“Why can’t thee do what the Roman’s do and bounce on it?”

“Break my hole not my heart.”

“Why couldn’t I be normal and disappoint my parents by becoming a stripper…”

“You know I’d be hot pool boy, I’d be some rich man’s side piece and he says he’s gonna leave his wife. And he buys me things but really he’s never gonna leave her and I’ll be gone in a year or so. But I haunt him for the rest of his life and he sleeps next to his wife knowing that he lost the person who was the love of his life. ”

“I’m going to start biting people if they aren’t nice to me.”

“I’m going to throw myself into the sun at the next inconvenience.”

“Hold on, I need to bleach my eyes for a second.”

“Oh, good. Manmade horrors beyond comprehension.”

“Boo, you whore.”

“I am in your walls.”

Man is an unassuming generational lingo chameleon. You just hear him talking without seeing his face and people just think he’s some dude faking a deep voice so people will fawn over him.

[bulletproofthroat]

i feel like a parrot just reiterating the amount of times ive had to tell people im fucking unwell and the fact my manic episodes are as volatile as an ipad kid getting their ipad taken off

yh ya girl tried to kill herself but instead did the next best thing and put some cuts in her arm, i cba being all soft im being cut throat w yall rn, ya dont like it then fuck off my page LOLL

anyway yeah, edgy scary painting because im mentally ill and im bipolar and im kanye west wowww omg😡😡😱😱

im js gonna vent yall dont gotta read shit im js tryina air ts out LOLL

so like im really fucking tired of people expecting me to do shit the way they wanna, like i deadass open up ab my vulnerable NPD to someone, and they then have the gall to say that theyre scared of me LOL and then theyll compare me to their ex or sm shit??? like sorry why?? i could go into it but id be sat here til 2am. secondly, this same retard has the cheek to tell me because i was manic, i was basically acting as an edgy 13 yr old when it came to me cutting myself, because believe it or not, i found it amusing, not in the sense im some corny tiktok cosplayer tryina be tough, but in the sense that im fucking cooked in the psyche. i think the added flavours of my trillion other disorders make my bipolar 8x worse because when im manic everything fluctuates, impulsivity, especially when my bpd comes into play, my mood switches rapidly, i have outbursts, im a reckless person i seek attention and gratitude off others, its a whole fuckin thing

yh, anyway, and what really pmo is that when im fuckin venting to someone they then have the gall, the hutzpah to be talking ab their own shit like sorry idgaf?? did i fuckin ask bro LOL like this is about me why are we skewing the conversation to you, if i wanted to talk about you then i would've mentioned you (which is highly unlikely) and the fact that theres people that love to fucking question my choices and act like im under the influence of drugs or pure stupidity, they can go fuck themselves icl bc yall js pmo.. ive been practically screaming at my doctor begging for a bipolar assessment because god forbid england ever gives 2 shits ab people with bipolar disorder. like how fucking hard is it to be medicated for bipolar??? and what pissed me off even more is that i was refused a psychosis diagnosis because my symptoms werent and i quote "psychotic enough" so youre telling me i still have prevailing psychotic symptoms but because theyre not fucking extreme i cant? i mean fine, but jesus christ its the constant back and fourth, and what im basically getting at is that im basically bipolar with psychotic symptoms.

and the fact im still fucking raw dogging life says enough. yeah ong icl idk if im gonna be living til 20 or sm shi, and i cba wassing any further ab it LMFAO

[polysucks]

I feel like I'm the only person interested in the idea of how it would have looked long term if Margaery had been able to keep playing Joffrey via his sadistic murder fetish. Like how would she have used that to control him and how would it have changed her, too? How would it have affected the way he ruled to have a supportive partner who he perceived liked (maybe even loved) him for the most twisted part of himself and helped him use that as an outlet for his sadism? Why are there no fanfics about this??? Why do I have to write one myself eventually?? I don't think I could do it justice but it's fucking fascinating and I can't stop thinking about it.

I have a few thoughts about margaery lemme get my notes and just ramble them off. My autism is really vibrating with this one.

Why is mace Tyrell so obsessed with getting marg on the throne? I mean there’s a complicated history there with mace Tyrell and Robert Baratheon. I’m also a little confused about how renly fits into this as well? The plan is giving Anastasia (1997)

Renly: *is a twink* oh no Mace how are we going to yeet my brother off the throne after he already yeeted that other guy for the throne?

Mace: man I got this hot daughter maybe we can distract Robert with my hot, hot, so fucking hot daughter and when he’s not looking we can take his chair out from under him.

Renly: *still a twink* yeah totally I mean Robert do be getting distracted by insanely hot, hot, hot women like all the time

Mace: bro tell me my incredibly sexy hot daughter looks just like ur brother’s dead gf that he has been unhealthily idolizing for the last 14 years

Renly: sure maybe idk I like cock but I’ll ask a guy who would know

Later

Renly: hey does my hot cockless (I checked) hot hot female sexy hot babe of a teenage wife look like ur dead sister or what

Ned:

Renly:

Ned: i remember when u used to wet the bed

Renly: so is that a no….?/

So like when robert dies, why does she stay saddled up to renly? Like is that the honest to god best political decision to be making? Renly is spindly and has not-zero pull in this pissing contest of a war, but not much more than that. So ?////??/? Was the plan to bide her time? And if so, why in the show was she so desperate to be the vessel for twinkboy’s heir? What was the move there? Was she proud of that one?

Yeah so when renly dies, send Littlefinger the Jeffrey Epstein of Westeros to claim the twink’s 14 yr old bride. That sounds like a great idea. But I digress.

Who approved the decision for this 14 year old girl to marry Actual Evil Villain Joffrey? Because *not on the phone w the fbi* I just wanna talk.

But like also? Maybe she can match his freak a lil. I mean in the show I couldn’t tell if she was like. Subtly encouraging joffrey’s fuck ass weird serial killer shit or if she was actually using her wits n tits to manipulate him into not being such a loser fucking demented freak? but I mean like either way babey werk queen house burn the boots down slayyy cunty arm chair yassssss 💅 mamaaaa

WHAT IS HER GAME?

What is the end goal here? So let’s look at both sides leading up to joffrey’s death. Maybe she’s just neutral good? The Tyrells are so sweet. Generally mild mannered, and in court no one truly has much negative to say about them. Willas is a sweetie, Olenna is doted upon, Loras is a hoot n a half, marg is a super hot 14 year old, and also Mace is there. And like the vibes aren’t totally cooked in king’s landing for mace either even tho he put his entire cock inside robert’s 20 yer old bussy at the battle of ashford during the rebellion bc when robert usurped the king mace was still like “bro sure u can borrow 20$ and never pay me back it’s cool bro.”

Maybe marg is here to genuinely keep a lid on the boiling pot which is kings landing under joffrey (Cersei’s) rule. Maybe marg genuinely uses joffrey’s violence, abhorrent personality and his weak fucking will,, to be the true ruler of the realm? The woman behind the man, the hand within the puppet, if you will.

What could she accomplish with that?

She could free Sansa, assist with safe passage to the north, and save the territory of the North by giving House Stark the right to their rein. If marg plays her cards right, and if she truly wanted to go this route, she could possibly end the entirety of the war simply by appeasing Robb King in the North. But that’s so insanely unlikely Robb wouldn’t easily be persuaded by marg in any capacity, even pre-jeyne westerling, because the only thing that could possibly be wielded against Robb in an honest to god strategic move would be her sense of honor and duty—and Robb would have a legitimate leg to stand on considering what sort of honor and duty might be held at high regard for a woman so willing to look past joffrey’s affronts to mankind simply to oversee his rule.

She wouldn’t cure king’s landing of its sycophant infestation, but I would like to think she could quell the treachery for some periods of time. Like I wonder if with joffrey’s urges controlled by marg exactly how much would this fuckin reign accomplish? What could joffrey do differently, or positively for his kingdom? His wife tells him she wants to feed the orphans. He goes “yeah sure whatever” and then what happens? She feeds the orphans? Or will Cersei use her magic decent-human-detecting pussy to some insane fucking convoluted manipulation to not let marg throw apples at children w dead parents? Either way wtf this can go on for as long as any of them live. It’s a real Waterboy type dynamic and marg is Fairuza Balk.

But what if this bitch was actually Ramsay Bolton evil? (Personal fave) what if she can really match joffrey’s freak? What if she likes carving up pregnant cats, too? What if marg got that dog in her (Targaryen blood. Bc she do. She got that Hightower shit from her mom’s side) and she’s as batshit as they come? What if she likes watching joffrey brutalize baelish’s girls? 👀 (heyyyy fic writers that one’s for free. hmu, u got my number. what’s good bb)

What can she do with this?

Kill Cersei. Eat her. Ya gotta get slutty Mrs. Voorhees out of the equation.

Fmk, five kings version quick don’t think about it just say it out loud girl. just fuck n kill them all? Oh word good luck w stannis he hates pussy and he’s bald.

Have joffrey’s cat-carving children, begin the next line of targaryens bc there’s gonna be some whack dynamic where the kids’ punnet squares will be labeled “Evil,” “stupid,” “intelligent,” and “kind-hearted.” Also a lot of weird incest and sister-fucking. And twins. Twins EVERYWHERE. Imagine that fuckin bleak period of Westerosi reigning power histories. What would the Lannister version of Fire & blood read like? Fucking clown shoes is what that would look like.

Aye any of you fic writers got some political science degrees? I have some questions.

[number1greedlingfan]

Guys Peep This

ok so theres this high school au that me and a friend are cooking...

Almost all the characters are either faculty or students. Like Envy is a student right because then we can have them fight Ed crazy style in the middle of the cafeteria, but Wrath is the dean so we can say "mr the furious" are you seeing the vision?

Mustang is the academic decathlon proctor and also the AP chemisty and trig teacher. Hawkeye is the AP english teacher that everyone is afraid of. Havoc is the french teacher (but his ass is NOT teaching!! he just plays the french dub of shrek in class). Fuery is the new 20 yr old English 1 teacher who cant get thru a single class session without going to the bathroom and crying because his 14 yr old students keep bullying him. Olivier Armstrong is the PE teacher and she runs that shit like the fucking Navy. Their shitass poorly funded high school is in the top percentile of the presidential fitness exam because of her (at least one anemic child has died).

Ed gets blackmailed by Mustang into joining academic decathlon (he used his sadass dead mom backstory ONCE to get out of a test just to see if he could and Mustang has not let that go since he realized). Al is on the team because he likes it :)

Selim Bradley is a normal child here but hes like one of those insufferable gifted children that move up to high school way too fast. Hes on Eds team (debate champ) but Ed has insane beef with him because "there can only be one child prodigy" but Ed is. Not One. He is 15 and a sophomore, he is a normal age. I mean hes like taking too many AP courses but that doesnt make him special??? Attention seeking whoer

Ling and Lan fan are students from the prep school down the street that Ed's school has ancient beef with. Ling also has a guy in hisn head btw ("he's not crazy or anything he just has a guy that sometimes takes over his body and takes him on crazy benders" - how he describes his real medical disorder).

Ling is also the prep schools acadeca team's math guy (directly competing with Edward who is his team's math guy) and he thinks this just gives them more of a reason to be friends. He's obsessed with Ed the way that a child is obsessed with a wild animal. Sometimes Ling invites him to go dumpster diving and Ed has to watch in horror as he jumps fully into a dumpster and comes out with a half-eaten comically large turkey leg and devours it right in front of him. At one point Ed wakes up at 3AM to a text that just says "I want you." Ling tells him point blank that it wasn't him; Ed thinks he's just some kinda fruit in denial. (Greed sent it in an attempt to get Ed to stop hanging out with Ling because he thinks Ed is lame as shit).

is this anything

[thelowincomelife]

Laundry

A little bit about laundry. As I said before, I opted for a very small portable washer which I can hook up to the kitchen tap thereby saving me about $900/yr in laundromat fees. I then just hang these small, almost-daily, loads out on the little porch, or in the winter I hang them in the house on a drying rack which brings much needed moisture to the dry winter air. When you do laundry this way, you need to know how to iron. Laundry that is not tumbled dry tends to have wrinkles, but I have always enjoyed the "zen" of ironing. I put on some music, or a YouTube video, or a podcast, and I do my thing. Tumble drying is very hard on your clothes and wears out the fabric a lot quicker than hanging them to dry, and ironing lets me inspect my clothing for tears, loose buttons, or whatever it might be so I can mend them in a timely fashion. I am not a purchaser of "fast fashions" and will buy a good basic quality item new or even used, but only as I actually need them. Last year I bought one pair of cords and one pair of winter pyjama pants. That's it. Those were my clothing purchases for a year. I can have clothing for a VERY long time. I bought my good winter parka 40 years ago. I have had my spring jacket for 30 years along with a thick winter cardigan about the same amount of time. I have had my leather travel wallet for 45 years. They don't look old or out of fashion because I tend not to buy fashionable items, but more classic items of clothing. I also take very good care of those clothes. Anybody can do this. It is not rocket science. I don't have a degree in living poor, lol. You can look up how to cook, iron, and mend on the internet. It is not difficult and you will find step-by-step video instructions. That old winter cardigan was getting frayed around the cuffs and I had forgotten how to do a blanket stitch. I just phoned around until I found darning wool (and combined the trip with a visit to my daughter out in the same direction), then researched blanket stitching on the internet, and voila. It will probably last me another 20 years. It was a very well made wool cardigan which was a gift to me years and years ago. I noticed the blanket stitch on my son's blanket was coming apart, so that is my next little project. He has had that blanket for 20 years, but I intend to make it last another 20 if I can. That's how I roll! And think of all the money I have saved and been able to use for things I actually do need.

[academicallyinsufferable]

INTRO [that no one asked for] :

Hey! Hi I am Hana well you can call me anything welcome to my studyblr crib here's a little about me:

Hana ,20 yrs old (she/her).

Neet aspirant .

ENFP

My major includes : chemistry, physics, biology

Here I try to be accountable 😭 because ik I am an overly anxious person who because of fear to failure will procrastinate till the end of day if not kept an eye on so this is me and you keep an eye on me (you know what one thing about me is that I don't make sense a lot of time so try to play along .

Other things about me :

You will usually find me grumbling about how hectic stu-dying is

Well my hobbies are skateboarding 🛹, badminton and sleeping I love to eat but hate to cook because ik I'll burn everything I love to take pretty pictures of sky and nature hmmm. I love to watch anime and I am moved my tha main character of the "whisper of the heart " Shizuku Tsukishima

So yeah welcome 🤗

[b00giebabee]

Hi! Welcome to my page:

DNI:

-Under 16 (I will only dm over 17)

-If NSFW/MAP/MIK

-If anti agere or petre

-A dumbass

Byf:

-I do not want a cg. But sibbies are welcome.

-I do not claim to have a system or anything similar. I just know my little sides, pet sides, and caregiver sides all seem like they have their own personalities and they have the ability to communicate. Idk what it is, but I'm not labeled.

Now meet them!

Littles 🧸:

-Bug: 1 yr old, she/her, likes cuddles and MLP. Doesn't like worms and fights puppies for a living.

-Daisy: 6-8 yrs old, she/her, likes botany and foraging. Hates the cold.

-Isla: 3 yrs old, she/her, likes video games, food and horror. Dislikes leaving, she's a couch potato.

-Little One: 7 yrs old, she/her, likes baking, gardening, and the farmers market. Dislikes seeing people sad or angry.

-Lovey: 5 yrs old, she/her, likes reading, studying, the hobbit. Wants to be a historian. Dislikes being alone.

-Moon: 4-5 months old, she/her, likes duplo blocks, mac n cheese, apple juice and monster high. Dislikes barbie.

-Princess: 4 yrs old, she/her, likes shopping, tea parties, and the color pink. Hates being dirty.

-Worm: 2 yrs old, she/her, likes outdoors, fishing, bugs and foraging. Dislikes being inside.

Middles🎮:

-Ashton: 10-14 yrs old, he/him, likes minecraft, monster energy and EDM music.

-Jewel: 14 yrs old, she/her, likes tumblr, nightcore, and youtube. Dislikes being made fun of.

-Rapunzel: 9 yrs old, she/her, likes caesar salad, anything DIY, and tangled. Dislikes not having anything to do.

Pets🐾:

-Kaida: Dragon, she/her, likes hoarding anything that smells like our CG. Dislikes people staring at her.

-Kali: Black panther, she/her, also protector (she is always itching to fight.) Likes breaking stuff and is a cuddle bug. Dislikes people being a$$holes. Has an RBF.

-Marie: Turkish angoran cat, she/her, likes naps and being the center of attention. Dislikes being outside or being ignored.

-Mudpie: Piglet, she/her. Don't know anything about this person yet.

-Pearl: Bunny, she/her, likes doing hair, makeup, and dressing up. Dislikes pants and tennis shoes.

-Pixie: Highland cow, she/her, likes giving gifts. Dislikes being manipulated.

-Roe: White tailed deer, she/her, also a caregiver likes to cook, is a green witch. Dislikes loud noises. Is very skittish.

-Spots: Dalmation puppy, she/her, likes cuddles, naps and going on walks. Dislikes storms.

-Tank: Blue nosed *pit*, she/her, likes walks, playing, belly scratches and learning new tricks. Scared of cats, 1 yr olds, and being alone.

-Wynter: Arctic fox, she/her, protector and caregiver. She's not as quick to fight as Kali is but her words cut deep. Likes no one but our CG. She is a secret softie though.

Caregivers🍺:

-Bek: Late 20's, she/her/they/them, likes gaming and reading. Dislikes rules being broken. Is very calm, rarely ever shows actual emotions. In charge of all financial choices.

-Eyra: Unsure, she/her, is a holistic kitchen witch that likes to cook and bake and can make anything from scratch. She always cooks for us and her favorite drink is sun tea with cinnamon.

-Max: Mid 20's, she/her, is the rule enforcer. Smokes and drinks sometimes and struggles to express emotions.

-Paris: 21, she/her, Y2K. Likes fashion, Tara Yummy, Paris Hilton, and models. Dislikes not being dressed up in public.

-Rebekah: 22, she/her, ME! Likes a little bit of everything. I am in charge of everything and everyone. The main one.

-Sasha: Early-Mid 20's , she/her, likes psychology and wants to/could be a profiler. Is very obsessive and clingy, dislikes sharing. We labeled her a yandere, she's working on the negative parts of herself.

-Serafina: Mid-late 20's, she/her, organizes everything for us. Cleans a lot. Is a soft cg and very gentle. Never angry.

Pictures of them on my instagram!!

[weezeryuri]

is there anything ur beloved mutuals can do to help u with ur shitty living situation?

uuuhhhh nothing realistic honestly. my mom basically has it so she is my only source of transportation and i’ve got no other family to reach out to. NOT trying to sound defeatist my mom just has had me in a weird neglect loop my entire life and i never learned how to do anything except take care of myself while home alone (cooking laundry petcare etc etc)

she isn’t even mean about the neglect she’ll just promise to do things and then procrastinate (for example tried to join many extracurriculars as a kid that my mom just never bothered to sign me up for) wish it was easier to explain the specific situation i’m stuck but it’s basically

disabled + cannot work + cannot drive + no transportation + severe agoraphobia that my mom regularly enables + no irl friends or family to reach out to + very unwalkable town = well fuck

idk i still haven’t slept and the shit going on w my grandpa and money has me physically and emotionally comatose.

but tldr: i’d need to be completely dependent on another person and there is no one in my life who would be willing + able to support a disabled 20 yr old they probably barely know

[posttexasstressdisorder]

"The best revenge..."

...is living and eating WELL while (and in spite of) living in poverty.

I actually had the gumption to try and have a cafe 30 or so years ago, and I live with a guy who had his own bakery: a Danish-trained Chef currently working as a Sous Chef at a big hotel in The City, and his 21 yr old son (who has literally been an assistant sous chef to his dad his whole life).

We're all barely afloat, his son is looking for his first real job-job "out there", and getting discouraged. Y'all hear regularly about my poverty status, and my roomie chef is doin' as much as he can, and we're all three freakin' broke.

Fuck it. We may be broke, but we are are gonna Eat as best we can with what we got. So to the current example.

Yes, I know how to cook Mexican Food like any native ex-south-texan worth his salt and lime. Yes I learned how mama/grandma did it, either mine or someone else's.

Roomie and I are carnivores, son is veg. We all agree that Mexican Food is good, so I'm always looking for how to spend my "old-fuck-on-food-stamps EBT the best way.

Behold, Example 1: 20 lb. bag of dried pinto beans.

20 lbs for $17. And lookee there: it's Fiesta, no stranger to this former Austinite. And anyone who knows knows that this boy knows how to make a pot o'pintos, with/without carnivorousness. Keep 'em on the stove long enough you got Refrieds.

Somebody at Groce-Out is from Texas, gotta be: They have Velveeta and Rotel (for QUESO!) at near-normal prices! I laughed today. Velveeta was 6.99 at Groce-Out, and I shit you not, $14.95 at Lucky.

Got that along with a couple 2-lb bags of their "Hollis Street" whole bean French Roast (Dark) for $11.95 ea. This is surprisingly good coffee beanage, freshly roasted right up the road in Emeryville, evidently. So good coffee for cheap. A similar brand at the 'non discount' grocery store I go to is $21 for a 2lb bag.

While they aren't the winner in the coffee bean competition, Lucky (the non-discount store) is great for meat, especially mid-week, when they have lots of specials. Their "megapaks" of chicken thighs (10/pkg) were buy one get one free. So for ten bucks, I got 20 thighs (over 7lbs), which, when roasted with lots of salt and pepper, and cooled and shredded and deboned become something like 4 pounds of Chicken Enchilada Meat. For ten bucks.

Tomorrow I go to another discount store closeby roomie told me about that has the best commercial Hatch Chile in a jar I have ever found. Tastes like mine, when we would get a case at a time at Central Market, get 'em roasted in the parking lot, and take 'em home and shuck most of the the skins/seeds, and saute onion and garlic and add. In. A. Fucking. Jar.

So you see where this is heading.

We will be having a TexMex Enchilada/taco Feast that can be repeated at will until we've eaten/given enough away. Freezer. Vacuum sealer. Oooooooom.

And yeah, we got the dessert thing covered. I buy flour, the three sugars, butter, real cream, good organic milk, good brown eggs. I bake everything from fucking scratch. I buy berries and grapes as my main fruit. I don't buy a lot of processed ANYTHING. I buy ingredients. And bread/tortillas, obvs. And I'm happy I have the "card" that gives me my eeked-out apportionment of "food funds".

So that old adage of "The Best Revenge" being "living well" means we may be fucking poor, but goddammit, we are gonna Eat, with a capital E if I have anything to say about it.

All three of us are pretty much clinging to the same leaky life-raft, this accursed but oh-so-necessary apartment, not much overlap in our lives/diets/schedules, but every once in awhile I get to go back into "restaurant mode" and do up a Massive Feed. Share with the neighbors and stock the freezer.

And a pot of beans on the stove in perpetuity.

[heartfucksmouth]

just crying silently while holding a finally-sleeping baby (20 lbs and 2.5 feet tall baby) who refused to nap longer than 30 mins today and has emotional tantrums like a 2 yr old, complete with throwing their bodies backwards and biting lolol this poor kiddo just wants to be a big people

I think I'm just crying bc I'm so tired and feeling a lot of conflicting emotions about literally everything in life. like why does the world continue to spiral out in flames and I feel like I'm in survival mode when all I've wanted to do for 4 years is actually LIVE and THRIVE and, now, raise my child to be a good human but everything is isolating and a fucking battle to get done and I feel lonely and I can't even spend time with my partner or focus on myself I feel like time is constantly running out, money is running out, kindness is running out, and my brain cells can't even function anymore.

like. being a mom and being ill is really fucking hard. as if that's a surprise, but I'm so overwhelmed anticipating the next 3 months bc I've got 10 more appointments this month alone, plus an endoscopy and my pre-op is in MAY and I'm gonna have fucking hip surgery while I have a 1 year old who will probably definitely be walking lmao

also the world is on fire, did I say that? myles hours got cut at ups bc they're greedy fucks and we simultaneously lost our food stamps bc he made too much money during holiday season and I've been waiting over a month for my new application to get filed and I'm basically living on coffee smoothies electrolytes and whatever his mom cooks for dinner. at least I can kind of feed my kid tho even tho he wants solid food already bc on the inside he's a 30 yr old and WIC only pays for formula + purees.

day by day. hour by hour. it's all I can do. I'm so. fuvking. sick of burning out 2 days after I finally recover. I have so much more to say but no energy to form words anymore.

parenting is so fucking triggering it's wild. today wasn't even all that bad, either, but everything reminds me of my past right now. and I continue having to mask and play nice with a literal energy vampire that we live with sooooo

editing to add that I am still extremely obsessed with my son , he's beautiful and his laughter is like a drug I've never experienced and he looks like a literal cherub when he sleeps but holy shit let's start being honest about parenting too. this world doesn't make ANYTHING easy for most people...

[lottiecrabie]

i’m sorry if this makes no sense at all i just must get this off my chest - feel free to ignore ❤️

i’ve never wanted to be linecook reader so bad.

20 yr old country club waitress here! in love with 33 year old linecook😁😁 god help me

preface: idk him super well just very hot and hot personality (also tattoos, big beefy arms LOL, mildly cunty but kinda shy at first yktv!) but he has asked me to smoke a couple times just the kitchen usually gets to head out before front of the house does so i never did (im also grossly self conscious Haha).

okay! so a group of us were drinking after working a wedding (still on the clock oops) and one of the guys my age was talking about girl problems and Mr Love of my Life is giving him weird pointers and they’re talking about sex and being graphic idk i was Not sober but i know i looked like a tomato listening to them. boy my age says his type is “big booty latinas” ok thank u true. but sir we didn’t ask❤️ and then my man (😁) is like “nah nah i like [insert my weight/body type, eye color, hair color]” also - i am Not skinny (i gained a lot of weight the past two years after having an ED in high school blah blah blah as well as the fact that every girl i work with is skinny, like flat stomach skinny and i’m not being dramatic) so him describing me quite literally made me giddy which is so stupid, to be shocked that a hot man (that every girl thinks is hot) would find a chubby girl attractive but here i am. i could say so much more but this is embarrassingly long!

i’m delulu right ? or does he want me LOL

thanks for listening bestie love u!

ohhh this is so exciting for you Yay!!! i mean you are at the very least clearly his type. i think it would be very easy for you to get with him considering Men and considering Linecooks especially, you’d probably only have to Offer lol. now it might be just sex and nothing more serious and it might break your heart so You Know i must legally reiterate the title of my fic; don’t fuck the line cooks. that being said i would go for it🤭🤭 get good sex!!