#2 star movie reviews

[dailyplanetmedia]

If Todd Phillips really is done with DC Universe after Joker 2... what a disappointment of a film. Where will this Joker character go from here? A cliffhanger like The Sopranos. That's it, you just sopranos joker. But shitier.

[starlene]

Wicked, as reviewed by Finland's leading newspaper

The musical, Finnish production, 2010: the music is bland, the politics are confusing and dumb, the moral of the story is muddled

The movie, part 1, 2024: the best thing about this movie is that they don't burst into song all the time

The movie, part 2, 2025 (my prediction): it's confusing how Glinda did bad things and Elphaba did good things, and also, all songs should have been replaced with wordless silence

[hannahwatcheshorror]

INSIDIOUS (2010) + REWATCH

An underwhelming horror movie that relies heavily on jumpscares and musical stings for its frights. What can I say? It’s just not for me. Sure it has a lot of good elements to it, spooky characters, good pacing, great actors, but this film just falls short of my standards. Above all else, it was boring. Nothing really memorable happened and that is why I think I have to stick with my guns and keep this at a 2 star rating.

⭐⭐

Hot dad from The Conjuring series is forced to go into the upside down when his loser kid goes into "not a coma." The reactions to the horrors are believable but the horrors themselves flip from demons to creepy old lady's to an old time-y horror picture show… For a movie with so much build up I was expecting something much more exceptional. The pace of the movie was pretty good, starting with spooks pretty much off the bat but… I'll watch the others in the series I just can't say that I'm excited to.

REWATCH REVIEW

A child of the house falls into what is certainly not a coma but is a very long sleep and the mom is very quick to blame ghosts which, I mean, good for her, but also, damn, she’s crazy. A psychic comes in to inform us that this little kid is a terrific astral projector so much so that he went into a different dimension of sorts (bring back Gabbie while you are there, why don’t ya) and left his body to be possessed by any number of demons… Seems wack. Because they buried the lead that the dad also is “a traveler” so his mom had to go through this same demon spiel with him when he was a kid. They do some automatic writing which I think is pretty neat but that makes more ghosties come. Finally it is decided that the dad has to astral project to save the boy (who didn’t see that coming?).

The astral projection is BORING. It is a black empty space, the two houses, or a dungeon. That is it. Nothing fresh, new or exciting. Nothing “Astral.” Anyway, hot dad gets his kid and makes it out, or does he? I don’t know that I believe a child is strong enough to fend off a demon that is basically Satan but a grown man isn’t able to beat an old woman. I get she was his nemesis or whatever but wow did they just throw that in at the very end. You would think Elise would notice sooner given that she is a psychic… She didn’t actually use her “abilities” she just was there and saw things everyone else who was a non-psychic could see. I guess she did talk to the son for them but that just invited more chaos into the home. Whatever, all's well that ends up setting us up for the sequel, I guess.

[theflixdiaryproject]

"I want to be a proper dragon like the dragons in all the story" - Firedrake

Firedrake, a young silver dragon (voiced by Thomas Brodie-Sangster), embarks on an adventurous journey to find the fabled Rim of Heaven to save his dragon clan. along the way, he teams up with a boy named Ben (Freddie Highmore) and a quirky forest brownie named Sorrel (Felicity Jones), facing both friends and foes on their quest.

read my review below (may contain spoilers):

watched Feb 11th, 2024 on netflix

I really wanted to love Dragon Rider (a.k.a Firedrake the Silver Dragon). dragons are one of my favourite mythical creatures, so I had high hopes for this movie. unfortunately, it falls short of being memorable. it isn’t bad, but it doesn’t blow me away either. the story is solid and ticks all the right boxes, but at the same time, it feels very basic. I find it predictable, and that makes it less exciting to watch. the animation is fine, but it’s not breathtaking. Firedrake himself looks cool, and I think his design is one of the highlights. however, the villainous dragon feels very disappointing. for something that is supposed to be evil and scary, it looks more funny and comical. I don't think my cat would even care much about it! it’s hard to take the villain seriously when it’s presented this way. the characters are decent, though none of them really stand out. Firedrake is likeable, and I enjoy some of the antics with his companions, Ben and Sorrel. they bring some energy to the movie, which keeps it from being completely boring. however, their personalities are nothing special. I’ve seen characters like them in many other movies, so they don’t leave a lasting impression.

the journey itself follows a very familiar formula. it’s a typical quest story with a beginning, middle, and end that you can predict from the start. I don’t mind if the idea is not fresh, but I wish they added something new or exciting to make it more engaging. my attention slips several times while watching, and honestly, I don’t fully focus until the climax. the movie just doesn’t grab my attention as much as I hoped it would. this movie is light and doesn’t require much brainpower, which is fine if that’s what you’re looking for. it feels more like a movie for kids, and I think they might enjoy it more than I do. if you need something simple to put on for children or while babysitting, this could work. but for older audiences or anyone expecting a deep or emotional story, it will feel lacking. in the end, Dragon Rider is a middle-of-the-road movie. it has its moments, but it’s not something I’ll remember for a long time. it’s not terrible, but it’s not great either.

final verdict: I have mixed feelings about it

maturity rating: 7+ genre: animation, adventure duration: 1h 31m (91 mins) countries of origin: Germany, Belgium, Spain, UK language: English screenplay: Cornelia Funke, Johnny Smith major cast: Thomas Brodie-Sangster, Felicity Jones, Freddie Highmore, Patrick Stewart

[vegan-nom-noms]

Movie Night Ideas

Star Wars Wookie Cookies and Baby Yoda Mini Donuts

Inside Out "Joy" Lemonade and "Sadness" Blue Raspberry Cheesecake

The Good Dinosaur Dinosaur Birthday Cake and Gluten Free Gingerbread Cookies

[the-halfling-prince]

I love letterboxd users. You'll get people who only leave funny reviews, people who will write an essay for a good movie and just say "idk it sucked" on a bad one, people who will destroy a bad movie with detailed reasoning and say "I think they were gay" on a good one, actors who leave reviews that are just "I had fun making this :)"

[vanilla-voyeur]

I'm absolutely obsessed with all the one star Nimona reviews that say it was a great movie except for one single scene that ruined it by shoving their politics down our throats

[horrorhodgepodge]

Arcadian [31 Days of Horror: Day 3]

🦇Summary Tonight, we’re diving into the harrowing depths of Arcadian, a chilling post-apocalyptic horror film that explores the fight for survival against unimaginable odds. 🌌 Starring Nicolas Cage as Paul, a desperate father navigating a world ravaged by a devastating pandemic, this tale unfolds as he and his twin sons face nightmarish creatures that hunt in the dark. 🏚️ 📚Themes & Topics:…

[panosatthemovies]

Dune: Part Two is an amazingly well-shot movie that transports you to another world and mesmerizes you with its sound and visuals. But the story just doesn't live up to the hype. Contrary to all the epic tales, this film wants to compare itself with, like Star Wars, Lawrence of Arabia, Avatar, or even The Man Who Would Be King, about men that were destined to rule a tribe living in the wilderness into rebellion, this film just isn't exciting enough while getting towards the goal, nor is it fulfilling in its third act. Simply put, we have no happy ending. In fact, we have no ending since Denis Villeneuve pulls another surprise at the very last moment, like he's done with Dune (later revealed to be "Part One" only on-screen and not in its marketing) and leaves audiences hanging for yet another two or three years, to find out if he'll get the next installment financed, and perhaps finally finish this story! By then, we'll all have forgotten the plot points of part two, as we did with part one. And all the hype about "the best sci-fi movie of all time" will also fade away. What will remain is an immensely crafted film with great visual storytelling and monumental work in cinematography, sound-design, editing, music, art direction, set decoration, costumes, and makeup. A feast for our eyes and ears for almost three hours but not much more. For most of the film, you'll find yourself amazed at the spectacle while trying to understand what's going on instead of being excited about where all this will lead. It's definitely worth a visit to the cinema, but don't expect much to stick, once the dust settles.

B+

Trailer: https://youtu.be/_YUzQa_1RCE

[sinnermannn]

[jayjay55655]

Me after watching Dune: part two

[filmforager]

The Super Mario Bros. Movie: Review

It's-a meh

With the riotous fun of Dungeons and Dragons: Honour of Thieves and HBO’s compelling Last of Us series, it’s easy to forget just how bumpy the history of video game adaptations has been. In many ways, 1993’s Super Mario Bros. set the example for what not to do, stripping the game of its colour and carefree tone. Three decades later, The Super Mario Bros. Movie goes in the opposite direction, but ends up prioritizing fan service over a decent story.

For better or for worse, the plot feels stripped straight from the Mario games - which aren’t known for being plot-heavy to begin with. Mario (Chris Pratt) and hapless brother Luigi (Charlie Day) are two Brooklyn-based plumbers whose attempts to strike out with their own business haven’t quite gone to plan. Trying to make a name for themselves, they randomly find themselves pulled into a colourful alternative universe through the Brooklyn pipe system. But while Mario lands on his feet in the cheery Mushroom Kingdom, Luigi falls into the clutches of lonely villain Bowser (Jack Black), who has sinister plans to marry Princess Peach (Anya Taylor-Joy).

As Mario sets off on an unlikely quest to free his brother, we follow a familiar story about an average joe who is somehow destined for great things. Set in a beautifully realized world, children will lap up the colourful visuals and stunning animation, while Mario fans will be delighted with the sheer attention to detail here. Pretty much every aspect of the games is lovingly accounted for, from the cool question mark power-ups to the irritatingly cutesy side character Toad (Keegan-Michael Key).

If only as much love was lavished on its story and characters. Written by Matthew Fogel, who had a hand in Minions: The Rise of Gru and Lego Movie 2: The Second Part, the film struggles to make you care for any of its characters, least of all Pratt’s Mario, who feels a bit bland. Instead, it feels more concerned with shoe-horning aspects of the game in a way that doesn’t feel natural - right down to Mario’s signature catchphrases. 

In place of an interesting plot, what you get is an episodic trip through some of the game’s biggest highlights. Want to see some Mario Kart scenes? Here’s a convenient racing sequence on a rainbowed road. Want some platforming action? Here’s a random scene where Mario has to prove his capabilities seconds after meeting Princess Peach, here presented as a fearless warrior with little or no backstory. While The Lego Movie (also starring Pratt) was able to pay tribute to its properties in a refreshing way, this feels like a soulless exercise in tick-boxing.

This is directed by Aaron Horvath and Michael Jelenic, the brains behind the brilliant Teen Titans Go! To the Movies, but there’s little of that irreverent humour on display here. Though it has all the ingredients for a fun Mario film - the Mario Karts, fan-favourite characters, and side-view pipe action all make an appearance - the set pieces feel weirdly tame, while there’s only a handful of truly funny moments. Even Seth Rogen, virtually playing himself as Donkey Kong, fails to inject more than a laugh or two.

Thank the mushroom gods then, for Jack Black, whose big bad carries the film on the back of his signature spiky shell. Whether he’s terrifying his boney goons or penning a hilarious song dedicated to Peach (complete with cheesy music video flourishes), Black has a ball playing Bowser as a rockstar, stealing pretty much every scene he’s in. If the rest of the film had as much fun, this might’ve been a game adaptation worth pressing start for.

Powered up by an unshackled Jack Black performance, The Super Mario Bros. Movie slips on the banana skin of its weak story and lack of creative ideas.

★★

[hannahwatcheshorror]

LA LLORONA (2019)

Not to be confused with The Curse of La Llorona which came out the same year, La Llorona or The Weeping Woman is a Guatemalan horror film. This is a very slow paced political drama that also happens to be a horror movie on the side. I usually enjoy foreign films and the eerie feeling they give off but I mostly just found this to be more sad than scary (as the name would imply it isn’t a happy film, but still). 

⭐⭐

(Trigger Warning Rape Mention, Children Dying, Guerilla Warfare)

A native woman lays out in excruciating detail what the guerillas did to her and her people (to the children and women especially), it was a heartbreaking scene, honestly. It felt very real (because in some places it is real) so it was very sobering. After being found guilty of genocide the grandfather fakes a medical incident but then in the hospital can be seen smoking and getting poured a drink from a flask so clearly it isn’t that serious. You feel no sympathy for his character so you don’t care that he is being haunted or hunted or having all those protesters outside his door.

Nothing creepy starts happening until over 30 minutes in and even then it isn’t haunted behavior. (I guess the weeping at the top of the film was a bit suspicious but it was so quiet I needed to watch the scene again to pick up on it) You basically watch a slow paced political drama for a half hour and then the weird maid comes in and even then she isn’t that weird, just a little spooky. 45 minutes in and the creepiest thing we see is grandpa boner. One hour in and still no big scares, no big villain (other than the grandfather). I am BORED.

This is just a movie about one old man's terrible choices and how they are coming back to bite him in the ass slowly but surely. His wife has a nightmare where she is one of his victims, she just doesn’t know it yet. I feel very little sympathy for his family members except his granddaughter who is clearly innocent in all this, but the maid is protecting her like she couldn’t protect her own children, so I don’t feel like the granddaughter is under any threat.

The wrap up is basically this: asshole grandpa leads his people in Guerilla warfare and genocide and he thinks there will be no consequences. Turns out, the ghost of a woman whose kids he drowned has come back to haunt him and his family but mostly just him. She pranks him a bit before getting his own wife to murder him by letting her see the vision of what he had done to the natives. Very underwhelming, and I was actually anticipating some good creeps but just having a lady with long hair that’s wet standing around isn’t that scary. It was basically a sobering political documentary that I never intended to watch. I suppose with a title like “The Weeping Woman” I should have assumed there would be some sadness but good grief was this a somber ride. Grandpa War-machine deserved death and worse, our movie ends with the ghosts having moved on to the next in the pecking order for their revenge, they won’t be satiated until all the scumbags who murdered their children in cold blood are dead.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

"Ed Iskandar talked with God. Then it was Lucifer’s turn. Now he was addressing Adam and Eve.

[...]

Right now, Iskandar was rehearsing the plays from Act I, including Madeleine George’s 10-minute piece about the Fall of Man, which she gives the elaborate title,  “A Worm Walks Into A Garden or The Fall of Man, an experiment in motive and comedy.”  In it, Lucifer tells dumb jokes to Adam and Eve, as a way of seducing them. Adam finds them funny. Eve doesn’t.

“You’re missing a crucial part of your anatomy,” Lucifer says to Eve. “The funnybone.”

Lucifer is being played by Asia Kate Dillon.

[...]

Dillon was writhing and entwining themself around Eve.  Suddenly Chase Brock, the show’s choreographer, got down on the floor and started to writhe on the floor along with Lucifer. Brock had researched the earthworm, and showed some pictures of earthworms to Dillon on his laptop to suggest other moves they could make."

"50 different plays by almost as many different playwrights is a massive undertaking in which each vignette varies in tone from the one before it.  The actors playing the characters do not change from play to play; this forces the performers to be as comfortable and convincing with farce as they are playing tragedy.  It is also fascinating to contemplate the mental and emotional gymnastics that each performer of The Bats (the resident acting company of The Flea) must have undergone to ensure that each character maintains the same internal psychological throughline when they appear in different plays by very different authors.

The first act deals with the Old Testament books and the Nativity.  In playwright Dale Orlandersmith’s Song of the Trimorph, the angels in Heaven mindlessly worship God (a deliciously petty, yet shrewdly authoritative Matthew Jeffers), who takes it as His due until Lucifer (Asia Kate Dillon) starts to question whether love without choice means anything.

Dillon’s beautifully delicate, white-haired devil is one of the show’s most complex figures. Watching them evolve from nuanced philosopher to diabolical heavy to world-weary cynic, depending on the vignette, is fascinating.  The narrative speeds its way through the Bible. Highlights include Madeleine George’s surprisingly feminist take on the Adam and Eve story; Hwang’s marvelously urgent Cain and Abel tale, which posits the first murder as a story of vengeance against a capricious God; and Mallery Avidon’s whimsically horrifying tale of Noah’s Flood, which also entails the deaths of everyone who didn’t make it aboard the Ark.

[...]

The show’s second section deals with the Life of Jesus, with Colin Waitt’s astonishingly variegated boy-next-door Jesus shifting from an idealistic dreamer as he travels with Mary and Joseph to a forceful, almost angry philosopher when he argues with Lucifer about the nature of love to a bratty dolt when he confronts Gabriel about his inevitable fate.  The fact that the playwrights clearly have a different idea of Jesus’s personality sets Wiatt a complex task:  He has to make his Christ the same in all situations; whether he’s being comic or tragic, Wiatt is convincing and moving in a performance of stunning versatility.

Indeed, his likable turns in Gabriel Jason Dean’s beautiful Christ Enters Jerusalem makes his ferocious agonies in Qui Nguyen’s Christ Before Herod and his subsequent crucifixion all the more heartrending. The third act deals with Christ’s resurrection and humanity’s fate at the Day of Judgment, and includes a series of plays set in modern times, as well as God’s final words to Lucifer, Jesus, and to us.  The show’s final Day of Judgment coda by Jose Rivera is an essay of forgiveness and unexpected love."

"Overall, the point of view of The Mysteries leans toward deism, the Enlightenment philosophy that presents God as a kind of clockmaker who created the universe, then left it alone to run according to its own laws. We see God squabbling with, then abandoning, Lucifer, setting in motion the events of the Bible, but even in Eden he is surprisingly enigmatic.

[...]

And, as one of the thieves killed with Jesus prophesies, it may all be for naught; he conjures up a future in which "the religion founded -- haha --upon your existence will be held up to justify the slaughter of millions over hundreds and thousands of years, for the brutal sins of domination and exploitation, the lynchings, the massacres and genocide, the relentless militarism. Everything you stood for will be erased."

[...]

In any case, the company is an almost constant joy. Among the more striking performances, [...] Asia Kate Dillon is a compelling presence as Lucifer."

"Four dozen playwrights take four dozen spiritual positions, which allows bubbles of radical reimagining to emerge only to sink again beneath the waves. For instance, our very first playwright, Dael Orlandersmith, paints Lucifer (Asia Kate Dillon) as a sweetheart Cordelia type refusing to curry favor with an insecure God (Matthew Jeffers). The fallen Light bringer keeps popping up throughout, and yet while Lucifer makes a number of solid points—many vigorously antichurch—they're still costumed as a blood-smeared reptile. Does evil exist? Or does it only exist when it can dress super cool?"

"It begins with a scene in heaven where we meet the lavish Angel Chorus that will be with us for the duration of the play, and witness Lucifer’s expulsion from heaven, something like in Milton’s Paradise Lost.

[...]

We also meet the rebellious Lucifer in that first scene in heaven, played with dazzling cynicism by Asia Kate Dillon, and at the same time the angel Gabriel, played by Alice Allemano, who, obedient to God, in contrast to Lucifer, struggles valiantly trying to make sense out of God’s commands and following through on them.  These two, Lucifer and Gabriel, played by tall, striking people, fine actors who resemble one another, hold the vast array together like bookends.

The scenes in the Garden of Eden are delightful, played, appropriately in the nude, by Jaspal Binning as Adam and Alesandra Nahodil as Eve.  Throughout the play, Biblical episodes are interpreted by the many playwrights in non-canonical ways and the first of these is brilliant:  the knowledge the first couple gain through their disobedient eating of the apple is — how to tell a good joke and how to enjoy one!"

"Act I – The Fall begins with Creation and Lucifer’s fall from grace with God. Lucifer is played by a steady, radiant Asia Kate Dillon who reappears frequently to mix things up with earthlings and the rival angel, Gabriel, played by Alice Allemano makes goodness alluring. God is played by an extremely patient and multi-dimensional Matthew Jeffers whose sense of humor humanizes the Lord."

"As starting points, Dael Orlandersmith’s “Song of the Trimorph (Lucifer’s Lament)” and Liz Duffy Adams’s “Falling for You” are somewhat too abstract, particularly “Falling for You,” which has Lucifer wonder, “How can there be love in the absence of being?”"

"Starting with the Fall, we are introduced to the Angel Gabriel and the fallen angel Lucifer, played by two equally lissome and brilliant young actors, Alice Allemano and Asia Kate Dillon. They compete for God’s affections by using a chorus of singing punk angels."

"Asia Dillon as Lucifer brought the precise mixture of demonic delight and fragility necessary for such an adaptation: watching their performance was like looking at a raw cut in the bowels of the earth, brimming with fire and unimaginable sadness."

(no relevant quotes, but throwing in a brief pdf of a grantee project report that focuses on Engagement)

[theflixdiaryproject]

"there's only one thing I love almost as much as I love you, and that's being a cop. and you know what? this thing does not love me" - Tom Nichols

a real estate agent, is found murdered in a house she was selling. the case lands on Detective Tom Nichols (Benicio del Toro), a sharp investigator with a troubled past. the evidence points toward several suspects, including the ex-husband, Sam Gifford (Karl Glusman), but nothing is as simple as it seems. as Tom digs deeper, layers of deception and corruption start to unravel.

read my review below (may contains spoilers):

watched June 24, 2024 on netflix

I came across Reptile expecting an intense creature feature. from the title, I imagined snakes or monstrous creatures as villains, but to my surprise, there were no reptiles. I kept wondering about the title. who or what is the "reptile" here? the only clue was that one scene with a piece of snake skin. this is not the kind of movie you should watch after a long day. I made that mistake. I was tired and started watching this moody, slow-burn thriller late at night. by the halfway point, my focus was gone. I was half-asleep, my mind wandering in a dream-like trance. the dark and brooding atmosphere didn’t help either; it made me feel like the movie was dragging on forever. at over two hours long, it felt like six. I have to admit, I didn’t fully grasp what was going on in the movie. the plot is layered with twists, red herrings, and subplots. you need to be fully alert to catch all the details. but at the same time, the slow pace makes it hard to stay engaged. so I paused and resumed it later in the next morning.

that’s not to say the movie is bad. it has its moments of brilliance, especially in the way it creates a dark, suspenseful atmosphere. the neo-noir style is captivating, and the storyline has potential. it’s just that the execution feels too drawn out, and the mystery gets buried under the weight of its own complexity. I like movies that make me think, but this one made me overthink to the point of frustration and exhaustion. if you’re expecting a fast-paced thriller, this isn’t it. but if you enjoy slow-burn mysteries with a lot of moody silence, this might be for you. I can see why some people would appreciate its style and depth. it just didn’t click with me. the lack of closure left me unsatisfied. I finished the movie wide awake, but I don’t even remember how it ends.

final verdict: I have mixed feelings about it

maturity rating: R-rated genre: thriller, neo-noir duration: 2h 16m (134 mins) country of origin: USA screenplay: Grant Singer, Benjamin Brewer, Benicio del Toro major cast: Benicio del Toro, Justin Timberlake, Alicia Silverstone, Eric Bogosian, Karl Glusman, Michael Pitt

[emgot]

unofficial review of juror #2 (2024)

a movie like this should not have an ending like that

good premise but lacked emotional depth

very little internal conflict for a film that is about internal conflict

Nicholas Hoult is an amazing actor

the only black characters were portrayed stereotypically