#film reivew

[evilgoldphish]

Criminal Minds Point Key

My mummy dearest and I are big fans of criminal minds. Today we decided to rewatch the show and use our beautiful autistic nerd powers to create a somewhat logical point system to determine what are actually the best and worst episodes. 

Every episode starts with 100 points and either gains or loses points according to the following point key:

Jack appears physically in person. (+10)

Jack is heard or shown not in person. (+5)

Henry appears physically in person. (+9)

Henry is heard or shown not in person. (+4)

Victim actually does something smart or plays the long game. (+15)

Hotch/Morgan/Rossi isn't an asshole at all during the episode while being in it. (+20)

Reid’s interesting fun facts. (+5)

Awwwwwwwww that's so sweeeet (+5)

Okay, that actually made me laugh. (+5)

Hotch shows emotion. (+10)

Oooh they smexy. (+5)

Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. (+2) 

Actually wholesome. (+2)

*Jazz hands* (+10)

Someone picks up evidence using a glove without even wearing the damn glove in the first place. (-20)

There is a very obvious and easy way to do something that helps with the case but no one even mentions it. (-20)

“Why did you shoot him??? What was the point of that???” (-10)

“How in god's name are they still alive??? Are you immortal???” (-5)

Someone in the team going completely rogue. (-5)

Ruining an entire relationship with a single line of dialog. (-15)

✨Sexism✨ (-10)

✨Racism✨ (-10)

✨Homophobia✨ (-10)

That. Isnt. Possible. (-10)

A cognitive interview turning into blatant hypnosis. (-10)

Someone being immune from legal consequences. (-15)

Being insensitive to victims and/or survivors. (-15)

I understand… but still, WHERE IS YOUR WARRANT (-5)

Someone says something blatantly obvious. (-2)

This doesn't concern you! (-2)

What is that outfit??? (-1)

[the-celluloid-correspondent]

Shōgun: A Historical Masterpiece.

Set in Japan in the year 1600, Lord Yoshii Toranaga is fighting for his life as his enemies on the Council of Regents unite against him, when a mysterious European ship is found marooned in a nearby fishing village.

Based upon the acclaimed novel, Shōgun is a historical retelling of Lord Tokugawa Ieyasu's (Yoshi Toranaga) establishing the Tokugawa Shōgunate in early 17th Century Japan from the point of view of an English Pilot named, William Adams (John Blackthorn)Premiering on the small screen in 1980, the series received mass critical acclaim and earned an Emmy for Outstanding Limited Series. Four decades later, it returns, breathing new life into the television with its unparalleled storytelling. Breaking away from the mediocrity that often plagues the streaming industry, Shōgun stands as a monumental historical epic of a real-life struggle over the throne for Japan. 

Shōgun unfolds like a meticulously played game of Shogi, where every move, character, and line of dialogue is infused with purpose and significance. This captivating narrative takes viewers on a journey through a power struggle that shapes feudal Japan, weaving together political intrigue and human drama in a rich tapestry of storytelling. From the intricacies of Japanese society to the cunning maneuvers of rival warlords, Shōgun immerses audiences in a world where every scene serves a distinct purpose. Each twist and turn of the plot is carefully crafted, drawing viewers deeper into the heart of the conflict and revealing the complex web of alliances and betrayals that define the era. The dialogue and monologues in Shōgun are masterfully written, brimming with both context and subtext that add layers of depth to the narrative. Like beautiful lines of poetry, they flow seamlessly together, driving the story forward with precision and purpose. At its core, Shōgun captures the essence of one of the most pivotal moments in Japanese history, offering a compelling exploration of power, ambition, and the human spirit. As viewers are drawn into this world of political conspiracy and personal sacrifice, they are treated to a mesmerizing blend of drama, suspense, and historical authenticity that commands the screen from start to finish. 

Shōgun derives its true essence from its characters, each intricately woven with layers of complexity and depth, enriching the overarching drama. Among them, Cosmo Jarvis's portrayal of John Blackthorn emerges as a standout performance, deftly navigating the challenges of embodying a character whose natural loudness and clumsiness contrast sharply with the subtleties of his Japanese counterparts. While some may initially interpret Blackthorn's demeanor as a flaw in the performance, Jarvis's deliberate portrayal serves a greater purpose—to underscore the cultural abyss between him and the people of Japan. Through his portrayal, Jarvis adeptly captures the profound culture shock experienced by his character, allowing viewers to witness a compelling transformation from a brash and ambitious Englishman to a man deeply immersed in Japanese customs. It is in these quieter moments that Jarvis truly shines, infusing his character with depth and nuance.

Similarly, Anna Sawai's portrayal of Toda Mariko exemplifies the art of subtle acting. With a mere glance, Sawai effortlessly conveys a myriad of emotions, her thousand-yard stare speaking volumes about her character's inner turmoil and quiet resilience. Her performance is a testament to the power of restraint, as she deftly navigates Mariko's journey of suffering and hope, her emotions simmering beneath the surface until they erupt with raw intensity. Even in moments of despair, Sawai's portrayal radiates a glimmer of hope, underscoring the resilience of the human spirit.

The ensemble cast of "Shōgun" shines brilliantly, each member delivering performances that leave a lasting impact. From the charismatically charming yet brutal portrayal of Tadanobu Asano as Yabushige to the scheming and cunning rendition of Fumi Nikaido as Ruri, every actor breathes life into their character with skill and precision. Moeka Hoshi's portrayal of the broken yet resilient Fuji, and Takehiro Hira's power-hungry depiction of Ishido, further solidify the ensemble's strength, while Tokuma Nishioka's powerful and wise portrayal of Hiromatsu adds depth to the narrative.

However, it is Hiroyuki Sanada's performance as Yoshii Toranaga that truly stands out, marking a triumphant moment in his career. Despite being typecast and overlooked by Hollywood for years, Sanada seizes the opportunity to showcase his talents as both an actor and a producer in Shōgun. In his portrayal of the powerful and intimidating Toranaga, Sanada commands the screen with a commanding presence, embodying his character's intellect, ambition, and prowess with aplomb. What sets Sanada's performance apart is his ability to infuse Toranaga with an unpredictable nature, keeping viewers on the edge of their seats as they anticipate his next move. With each moment on screen, Sanada captivates audiences with his depth and nuance, delivering what can only be described as his finest performance to date. Finally given a role where he can truly shine, Sanada proves himself to be a force to be reckoned with, cementing his status as one of the industry's most talented actors.

Every aspect of this series is a visual feast. The cinematography is nothing short of breathtaking, capturing the stunning landscapes and rich cultural tapestry of Feudal Japan with remarkable skill. From the intricate costumes to the meticulously crafted production design, every detail is thoughtfully considered, drawing viewers deeper into the immersive world of Shōgun.

But Shōgun is more than just television—it's an immersive journey into one of the most pivotal moments in Japanese history. With its masterful storytelling and captivating characters, the series transcends the screen, offering viewers a profound exploration of the human experience against the backdrop of historical upheaval. In a landscape dominated by formulaic narratives, Shōgun stands as a shining example of the power of the historical epic, reminding us of the importance of stories that not only entertain but also enlighten and inspire.

My Rating: A

[panosatthemovies]

Dune: Part Two is an amazingly well-shot movie that transports you to another world and mesmerizes you with its sound and visuals. But the story just doesn't live up to the hype. Contrary to all the epic tales, this film wants to compare itself with, like Star Wars, Lawrence of Arabia, Avatar, or even The Man Who Would Be King, about men that were destined to rule a tribe living in the wilderness into rebellion, this film just isn't exciting enough while getting towards the goal, nor is it fulfilling in its third act. Simply put, we have no happy ending. In fact, we have no ending since Denis Villeneuve pulls another surprise at the very last moment, like he's done with Dune (later revealed to be "Part One" only on-screen and not in its marketing) and leaves audiences hanging for yet another two or three years, to find out if he'll get the next installment financed, and perhaps finally finish this story! By then, we'll all have forgotten the plot points of part two, as we did with part one. And all the hype about "the best sci-fi movie of all time" will also fade away. What will remain is an immensely crafted film with great visual storytelling and monumental work in cinematography, sound-design, editing, music, art direction, set decoration, costumes, and makeup. A feast for our eyes and ears for almost three hours but not much more. For most of the film, you'll find yourself amazed at the spectacle while trying to understand what's going on instead of being excited about where all this will lead. It's definitely worth a visit to the cinema, but don't expect much to stick, once the dust settles.

B+

Trailer: https://youtu.be/_YUzQa_1RCE

[haute-lifestyle-com]

Asphalt City, from Vertical and Roadside Entertainment, presents an intense, attention-grabbing, day in the life drama as two New York Fire Department EMT confront every imaginable emergency and the obstacles to providing care to those in need

[rickchung]

Monkey Man (dir. Dev Patel) x SXSW 2024.

Patel makes a promising start behind the camera. Monkey Man's biggest flaw might easily be its over-ambition and relentlessness. There's so much bone-crunching, non-stop action that the otherwise spare film can hardly contain the visual scope of its bloody violence.

[hannahwatcheshorror]

KRISTY (2014) + REWATCH

😿Dog Dies💁‍♀️Strong Female Lead

Stars a Jennifer Lawrence looking motherf***er. Classic scheme of people murdering others and posting videos online (dark web). Awesome Hunter becomes the hunted scenes. You can tell the anguish of the protagonist throughout every event, even when she has the upper hand. The entire pool scene is absolutely amazing. The after credits scene was just stupid but hopefully enough people closed out before that. 

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

REWATCH REVIEW

I really enjoyed rewatching this, it is a lot of fun even if you remember some parts. I found myself looking forward to scenes and that movie held up well. This film is a lot of fun, I always love a “hunted becomes the hunter” story, especially with a strong female lead. Reminds me of You’re Next but with more Satan (so I guess Ready or Not?)

⭐⭐⭐⭐.5

Hard working college student, Justine, is targeted by a killer cult. After being pushed past the brink, the hunted turns hunter as this thrilling horror unfolds.

“Justine is dead. My name is Kristy.”

REWATCH REVIEW

All alone during Thanksgiving break, hard working college student, Justine, is mistaken by a killer cult as some blessed child of God when all she was trying to do was drown her loneliness in a pint of Ben & Jerry’s. The adults are extremely incapable in this movie (and one of them was Keith from Six Feet Under!) but I don’t fully know how or why, I get that they were surprised but, still, they are quickly and quietly disposed of and it is up to our Final Girl, Justine, to stop her would-be killers. 

What I love about this movie is that they appear to have blown all their budget on getting the empty college set so the bad guys had to wear homemade tinfoil masks which made me think this movie was low budget but it is a 6.9 million dollar movie. Wack. But seriously when I thought this was a low budget indie film I liked it a lot more than when I knew it was funded out the ass. This is a good movie but certainly not perfect. 

My understanding of why the cult nicknames their victims Kristy is because it is a shortening of Christ or like his chosen one or something, the name of their game is all to upset God and yes, it is a game to them. Justine assumes the role of Kristy and takes on her attackers after they kill her boyfriend and she shows very little mercy. This film isn’t really plot heavy it just kind of goes from location to location and kill to kill but it sure is a lot of fun. Each scene feels purposeful in our heroine's journey through the night. “Justine is dead. My name is Kristy.” Damn right, girl, you don’t just murder four (4) people and not change a little bit. A worthy film for the genre.

[spryfilm]

Film review: “Priscilla” (2023)

[ogradyfilm]

Japan Cuts Masterpost

Here's one convenient link to all of my Japan Cuts reviews—for 2023 and every other year that I've attended.

To highlight a few of my personal favorites:

Mondays

Single8

I Am What I Am

It's a Summer Film!

Mrs. Noisy

Extro

A Japanese Boy Who Draws

Wolf's Calling

[31stday]

24 - Men

Synopsis: Following the suicide of her estranged husband, Harper gets away to the countryside only to find that all the men are uncannily similar and completely unsettling.

Year/Country:  2022, UK

Subgenres: psychological horror

Reason for watching: While I've heard mostly negative takes on this film, it was sill one that I couldn't help but be interested in seeing.

Highlights: I have been watching a lot of visually stunning movies this year in terms of locales and cinematography - but I think this one might be my favorite. The location as character was done so well, what a beautiful house, lovely natural settings, and so stunningly caught on film.

Lowlights: This movie really felt quite redundant and I think it could have been tightened up a bit. I also couldn't help but wonder what this movie might have been had it been created by a group of women instead of men.

Rewatchabilty: No.

Overall review: Interesting premise. Beautiful cinematography. But I don't think I liked the execution of it. No specific spoilers, but the bonkers last half hour of it lacked any sort of real catharsis for me, a femme viewer of this film. I also don't think it captured the problem of misogyny and toxic masculinity for the male audience. Despite trying to be symbolic in an over-the-top grotesque way, I don't think any real depth was explored.

Who should watch it: Maybe film students?

[popculturebuffet]

The KaBlammiest KaBlam! Retrospective: Season 1 Review (Comission by Cory Bryant)

Assume the crash position, hold on tight, take a breath for a new kind of cartoon show review. It's The KaBlammiest KaBlam! Retrospective. And now to take you inside and turn the pages.. your host jake!

Thanks me. So for those less familiar, KaBlam was a mid 90's nickelodeon variety show. Framed as a cartoon comic book, hosts and 90's kids, the everyman henry and the michevious june, would get up to various shenanigans while introducing various shorts.

The show was unique in that unlike other variety cartoons like Tiny Toons or Animaniacs (both bangers I need to review more of), KaBlam's shorts were all from diffrent creators, pilots that had been shopped to the network and instead of picking them up for a full series, became their own series within this series. There were also various pilots that didn't get a full segment that still aired on the show along with music videos and for this season french experimental shorts. It was something unlike anything else before or since, and it was truly wonderful.

Speaking of wonderful this is also the first review comissioned by someone in my day to day life. One of my best friends since 8th grade, the guy I see most films with and one of the sweetest persons you'll ever meet, Cory Bryant. Cory asked out of the blue if I could review KaBlam, I said

And here we are, with him having already paid in advance for four seasons worth of content. As for why.. he just thought it was neat and would make a good reivew.. and he was right. Like I said, KaBlam really ISN'T like anything else i've covered: it's essentially 6 diffrent shows in one with a few one offs thrown in. So while iv'e done full season reviews before KaBlam! is going to take a diffrent approach, and has been a bit of a challenge. But it's a challenge i'm more than happy to have taken up, so keep your heiner in the recliner as I turn the page and introduce or reintroduce ya'll to one of nick's most creative, intresting and hilarious shows.

The Secret Origin of KaBlam!

KaBlam came about because future Nick President, Herb Scanell, naturally getting tons of cartoon shorts pitched for his cartoon channel, wanted to try live action shorts with a cartoon sensiblity. One of these was Action League NOW!, a short about action figure superheroes getting ran over or crushed a LOT, and it was picked up to be ran on All That!, saturday night live for cool kids. ALN creator Robert Mittenhall wanted to do more with the shorts. Mittenhall had worked at nick for a while now as a story editor for the adventures of Pete and Pete, creator of sitcom Welcome Freshman and Co-Creator of Double Dare, and with the help of Pete and Pete co creators Will McRobb and Chris Viscardi, pitched a variety show to Nick: Various animated or semi live action shorts all done by diffrent studios

The only thing left was a wraparound, something to link them together, and with the team not having animation experince, they tapped artist Mark Marek. Marek wa sa long time animation fan, having gone to school for it after being insipired by Peanuts and Johnny Quest as a kid, and having done animation for Cindi Lauper and They Might Be Giants.

So while pitching ideas, he got the call back from Nick and thus KaBlam was fully formed, with Marek creating hosts Henry and June. Marek also kept the show allive by posting it and all in all is pretty damn awesome.

So with our main show in place, I can get to this reviews format: while I COULD go episode by episode and the shorts within, I decided instead to look at each major segment one at a time, as each short is essentially it's own show within KaBlam! with it's own creator/showrunner, art style and what have you, the Henry and June wraparounds included. There will also be an extra segment for one off or less seen segments.

So with that we have our first cartoon

Henry and June our are hosts.. and also our wraparound. For season 1 at least i'ts mostly unconnected nonsense. There's an episode or two with an ovearching plot, but for the most part it's just funny skits between each cartoon following two great characters: straight man henry and mischievous june. The segments as a whole aren't bad, though they do run into a problem: repetttion. There area LOT of skits that are just "June torments henry for little to no reason". A LOT, i'ts something I hope goes down as the series goes on and didn't really remember from both the first time I watched the show as a kid and binge watching a chunk of it with my niece a few years back, so hopefully it goes down. At the very least it looks like the first episode of season 2 directly adresses it, and while that dosen't guarantee the problem's gone it at least shows the creators recognize they might of leand on this joke too much

Otherwise it's just some fun nonsense, gets really weird with it and has a lot of fun with the format: our heroes are ostensibly in a comic book so we get fights over who turns the page, hanging on to panels and in probably my faviorite joke of the season, June deciding that if she never turns the page, the show never ends.. only to find out they just turn the lights out if they go over time. It's a good wraparound and outside of the Henry Torture Porn never really got old, and even some of that's funny it just depends on the bit. It's more ther'es SO DAMN MUCH OF IT. And so you see what I mean as we go thorugh the henry and june segments for the season, i'l lhave a Henry Abuse Count. Also I won't be going into each bit in detail as there are a LOT. I will for the other shows, but there's just so much here and so much of the show to cover as is.

The following are the titles for the episodes themselves.. or at least what fans use, using the slogan on the back of the comic each episode. Honestly I don't mind it as it's better than NO titles, especially on a show this loose and freeform. The titles aren't exactly descriptie, but they at least allow us to tell them apart. It's better than say, adapting an acclaimed manga and not giving us any titles or even a chapter 1. You didsapoitned me pluto.

Your Real Best Friend: Our heroes explain waht kablam is, June lets henry nearly get eaten by a spider, chuckimation is explained.. another day at the office really.

Henry Abuse Count: 1. June leaves Henry to nearly get eaten by a spider.

It's Flavorific: I remembered almost none of these bits. Only june creating a superhero with no weaknesses that beats up henry and June outright beating up henry for tricking her.

Henry Abuse Count: 3

Comics for Tomorrow Today: June wants to be a superheroine, and tries to leverage turning her eyes out and such. Henry gets jealous when she gets more marketable powers and we get a nice bit of her playing up his page turning prowess. Also the count dosen't go up one iota, so that's nice

Not Just For People Anymore: June gets lost trying to interview sniz and fondue, tasers henry for reasons I honestly forgot but it does not suprise me in the slightest, and they have the classic your side my side nonsense. June invites henry to join a party she throws. It's a nice ending

Henry Abuse Count: 4

All Purpose KaBlam!: June invents an automatic page turner that goes bonkers, tries to drop a tank on henry, and tries to cost him a golf game.

Henry Abuse Count: 7

What The Astronauts Drink: A rare one where all the shorts have a theme. SPACCCCEEEEEE. It's a fun one as our heroes get ready to journey into space. We also get June soiling herself because Gross Out

But thankfully only shows up twice this season.

KaBlam Gets Results!: This episode sure did happen. The only memorable part of this one is June pulling down henry's pants revealing he has boxers of richard nixon. She does this for every suprising shorts we're only going to count it once.

Henry Abuse Count: 8

You've Tried the Rest! Now Try the Best: A really fun set of wraparounds: Henry throws June down a volcano to cure her laughter.

June drops stuff on Henry she borrowed and naturally broke, and June ends the episode erasing everything including Henry's head. Huh so that's the secret origin of the headless body of agnew. All in all one of the best of the season

Henry Abuse Count: 10 June Abuse Count: 1

Untitled or Why June Refuses to Turn the Page: Another banger, with the opening and closing bits being the standouts: June hosts diffrent things other than the show she's doing like talk shows or beauty pagents, a beatufiully dumb gag, and then refuses to turn the page and gets blacked out as a result. A straight up classic

Henry Abuse Count: 11. She throws him a side to go ahead with her plan.

A Little Dab Will Do Ya: These bits really hti their stride towards the end, something I didn't realize till I started typing this. This one's also a classic, ending on my second faviorite bit of the season: June rips out a page, makes it into an airplane and we get a ride like the wind refrence deliveried by a Sasquatch. Pure magic.

Henry Abuse Count: 14. June makes henry into abstract art, has mr foot beat him up, and then Mr foot beats him up for accidently unclogging him. Mr Foot is a big foot or sasquatch and he's great.

Built for Speed; Other than a bit about the two's stunt doubles, I honestly forgot this set.

Comics of Champions: Our third of four wraparounds that have an overarching story. Thunder Girl from action league now is vistiing, Henry has a crush on her and June is a dick about it, making him swell up with embarassment.

Henry Abuse Count: 17, as June abuses Henry's blushing to make his head swell three times.

Resistance is Futile: We end the season on a fun award show spoof as they elect the Kablammiest cartoon. It has a lot of great bits including an overwrought music number and the payoff in which the winner, Flesh and Melt Man of Action League Now win a new car.. that as per the series standard, runs them over. An all timer to go out on.

So with that we can move on to something more groovy. Though if you liked the idea of the Kablammy awards stay tuned as i'll be having my own version at the end of the review. For now though...

Sniz and Fondue was created by indie comics creator Mike R. Brandon, who created the comic Puppy Action. A copy got into the hands of at the time Nick Head Linda Smesky who loved it and asked Brandon to make a pilot. The resulting short "Psyched for Snuppa" was well loved, but ultimately lost out to the better toon, Rocko's Modern Life pilot "Sucker for the Suck-0-Matic", creating a weird alternate reality where Rocko never made it to series and might of ended up on KaBlam! instead. Still Sniz and Fondue was super well loved, so it got picked up for KaBlam! instead.

The first season's animation was done at PitchiPoi animatoin.. which brandon hated for often being off model, and they switched companies for season 2. Me I think the animation looks good and if it looks this crisp off model, I can't wait to see how season 2 looks when we get there. Brandon also wanted to voice Fondue and have his best friend voice Snizz, but got vetoed on the latter and on the former at the time creators voicing things in their own tunes which execs were HEAVILY against it saying "you don't want to be that close to your own show"

Somehow they did, and while Brandon has nothing against the voice actors who played Sniz and Fondue, their simply not what he wanted. It's very clear both from a reddit ama I found with brandon (I was so happy to find something besides wikis and hopefully can find more as this goes on. ) It's very clear while he loves the project, kids animation just wasn't for him and despite being offered a full series order, left, with Spongebob Taking the spot he was offered. If I had a Nickle for every time Sniz and Fondue didn't become a recurring series so a key part of cartoons as a whole could, i'd have two nickles. Which isn't a lot but it's WEIRD it happened twice.

Sniz and Fondue follows Sniz, a hyperactive ferret with the accent of a 50's greaser and the impulse control of a hyperactive ferret and his best friend and roommate Fondue a mild tight ass who likes building models and wears a chefs hat because it looks neat. Their voiced by Rick Gomez, aka "endless' mike from Pete and Pete and Oscar Riba. The only two other recurring characters are Snuppa, played by John Andrew Walsh, a videographer and the chill dude in the apartment and the slightly more uptight Bianca, played by Monica Lee Bashforth, who gets annoyed at the two more often but is just as likely to enjoy the chaos.

The show is your pretty standard "Two guys hang out and get into shenanigans' sitcom, one of the first and certainly one of the first in animation, coming off as a 90s era regular show. Snuppa and Bianca show up as needed and from what i've read eventually get phased out as Brandon and crew realized they didn't really need them, though I think their fine.

What helps Sniz and Fondue work is while the two are oppisities to a point, Sniz being hyperactive and fairly stupid and Fondue being calmer and actually thinking things through, the show gets how to make a duo like this work: Fondue isn't immune to hyjinks and in seperate episodes becomes a fashion magnate or gets creepily obessed with the ventrioquist dummy Sniz made for him. There's never any of the real cliche conflcits you'd expect from the two, their just slightly diffrent, have enough intrests to bond them, enough diffrences to bring the laughs, and are on the same page more than not.

Sniz and Fondue is really charming and fun, while also, like most KaBlam! shorts being incredibly weird. It was one of my faviorites and kicks off the show more often than not, getting it started on the right track

Sniz and Fondue Season 1 episodes

A Toxic Tail: The first short and one of the weaker ones. This one is more on the usual end of this sort of squabble: Sniz keeps breaking into Fondue's room to jump on the bed, so Fondue buys a deadly scorpion to keep him out.

Yet while the plot is pretty bog standard there were hints at what i'd later love about these shorts: there's the weird Exotic Pets guy who sells Fondue the murder scorpion and the resolution: once the scorpion is scooped, Fondue decides to simply charge Sniz for jumping on his bed, complete with a velvet rope queue, and Sniz happily accepts. IT's one of the best things about these shorts: most endings are pretty positive and usually the two reconcile by the end, but in a way that's uniquely them.

Stuntbike Sniz: the short that sold me on these. Sniz buys a motorcycle and Fondue is against it as he dosen't want his best friend to get messed up. The short is mostly sniz doing hilaroiusly half assed ramp stunts that aren't much of a challenge but still result in him getting mildly injured, and Fondue shaking his head at it. Fondue would be grating.. if he wasn't trying to keep his best friend from horribly mangling himsef. That and even getting mangled, Sniz is happy with the attention. Also this has Sniz wax lyrical, saying the lyrics to "Your the inspiration".. and turns out this , to my delight wasn't a one off thing. This is still my faviorite of them but we get a LOT of random little musical refrence moments I love.

Mod Stylin: This one works for me in part because it's surprisingly down to earth: Sniz needs a LOT of hair gel to keep his mohawk up, so Snupa, to save money, buys him the cheap stuff instead. Problem is overdoing it makes his hair fall out. We also get a lot of fun stuff as Fondue tries to restore Sniz' hair, which itself is fun as it's the first time Fondue really gets to do weird shit and i'm here for it. My favorite hair restoration attempt is Fondue planting a flower on sniz's head and the seasons passing as we wait for it to grow. I love long time skip gags, so it's a personal thing. The ending, which has Fondue have his head sympathy shaved, is just adorable.

Fashionably Fondue: I love this one simply for taking a very common plot and making it feel unique. In this one Fondue decides to become a fashion mogul because most jeans can't fit sniz's tiny butt and stature, promising to make jeans that actually fit for him if he gets famous. Your probably expecting as I did that the episode would either have Fondue get self absorbed, go back on the promise but then fufill it in the end or fufilling it would end his career.

While it does go with option B, how it does it is neat. As is how Fondue becomes a fashion mogul in the first place as he throws one of his drawings in frustration, and it ping pongs hilariously via slapstick and bee gee's refrences till a fashion person gets it. Not only that but Fondue.. just does what he promised immeditely and rather than get laughed at or something for it, he fails.. but only because Sniz is GENUINELY the only customer.. and rather than be too bummed Fondue is happy Sniz has jeans that make his butt look good. You know, I try not to ship EVERYTHING that comes across my brain but the more I write on this series the more awesomely homoerotic it comes out, and i'm just fine with that.

Second Hand Sniz: This one honestly feels like a regular show script that got lost in time and wound up in 1996, toned down a bit as I could see this exact scenario happening with rigby. Sniz refuses to learn how to tell time, and so his roomates, fed up with his crap and him relying on them for the time (This was BEFORE everyone had 80 devices in their house that have a clock as a bonus feature, so you kinda had to back then). Does it make no sense they have no digital clocks in the mid 90's?

Even with a bunch of 20 somethings not having a lot of money they could still get one cheap.. or would just to shut Sniz up. But the antics that ensue from them writing "do not tell me the time" on his head, to Sniz deciding rather than learn to tell time to JUMP to the hot air balloon their in, ending up on a giant clock and learning the skill through trauma.. it's great. One of the best of season 1

Mr. Sniz's Wild Ride: Some aliens decide to take Sniz in as their mascot, and after some deliberation he accepts.. then regrets it when their annoyed they got exactly the hyperactive ferret they asked for. This one is okay but I do love the resolution that the aliens just shoot them out of the ship, as well as Fondue sneaking aboard to help Sniz. One of the weakest eps of season 1, but it's not TERRIBLE. It's just beige. Very beige.

Sneaky Clean: This is one of those episodes about GERMS kids shows did... and I GENUINELY had to check and make sure it wasn't just Hey Arnold that did this as that's the only one that came to mind, but it is a thing.

This one has a neat take as while it has the standard setup of "Character finds out germs are everywhere and takes it about as well as I took the cancelation of Close Enough", which is to say

Here Fondue just straight up builds a plastic germ free biosphere to live in. And spends it in his underwear because why not at this point. I haven't brought it up but under the characters skirts is tighty whiteys we see frequently because they did the research and kids think underwear is funny. Eventually Fondue realizes he's missing stuff, it's a heartwarming mostly naked ending.

The Borrowers: This one is okay but I do like the setup: Fondue borrows a quarter from what turns out to be a loan shark and our heroes try to escape the guy then try paying it off. I love how the loan sharks compound intrest is 300% a minute and how what sets off the plot, a call in radio contest, ends up solving it. I also like a bit abotu Fondue getting annoyed Sniz is stealing hotel towels. All in all it sure was average.

Dark Vator: At the Captain Sharpiro, the boys faviorite sci fi show, convention Sniz and Fondue get stuck in an elevator due to Sniz's hubris and Sniz of course thinks the best person to bring for help is the actor who plays captain sharpiro. You've seen this plot too. While Sniz and Fondue is fun, I didn't realize till reading it out how some plots are just.. things you've seen before. And would see again on Hey Arnold and done better because Hey Arnold is the best. Really gotta cover that show sometime. But i've still got a lot of kablam to cover so...

You Dummy: This one is just wholesome, then weird, then wholesome again: Fondue does some action figure theater for the roomies, and admits he wants to be a vintrioquist but dosen't have the bones for a puppet. Sniz makes him one in his unseen till now and possibly again workshop.

Then .. Fondue becomes obsessed with his puppet, despite being VERY bad at actually being a ventriloquist, Sniz feels bad and helps, and this causes fondue to spiral and Sniz to get jealous and nearly take a saw to the puppet. I do like how the climax is he just.. chips it slightly. And this still somehow makes it unusable. Once again I think of a show who did a similar plot slightly better, but for once i'ts not hey arnold but king of the hill. Granted in that one's case it both tapped into the hank bobby relationship well and had Dale Gribble obessed with murdering a dummy and put said dummy into a wood chipper while blindfolding it and mixing it in with two chairs and a tabogan before clorforming himself, so it's hard to compete. Still a great episode.

Making of a Supermodel: Okay THIS one is the weakest of season 1. It's the old "character wants to open toy, other character wants it mint in box, character opens thing anyway" thing. You've seen it before, they don't really do anything new or intresting with it here, and while Hey Arnold didn't do it better this time, Hey Arnold had higher standards than to do it at all.

Rage Against the Vending Machine: This one has a bit of a story. So for a good chunk of season 1, I used youtube since about a third of the season is missing from Parmount+ due to rights issues. I'll explain why later. So the thumbnail for this episode of KaBLam.. was what LOOKED like a naked Bianaca wearing a crown. So I was distracted not by the possibly naked woman, as while I am into many things the characters of this show aren't one of them, but more.. what the fuck was this episode about.

Turns out that wasn't bianca but a tiny naked man who makes novelties the guys go to complain to after not getting a plastic spider from one of those cool capsule things. Turns out, unsuprisingly, the very naked man is scamming people by not putting the spiders in and our heroes have to stop him from melting them all. THey also get bribed with their own vending machines full of nothing but spiders. Hopefullyt hey both took the bribe AND hauled his ass before the ftc. This one is fun though both for it's relatablity of wanting just ONE thing from one of those capusle machines and not getting it and the weird naked man. They just never adress that he's both tiny and naked and it makes it funny as a result.

War of the Super Geeks: Our finale and a really fun one. Sniz and Fondue fight over a prize inside a cereal box. Snuppa decides to turn this to his advantage by making them do a gauntlet that's doing chorse for him and bianca, making them brownies then doing their laundry, followed by a fight for their sick amusment. I not only like Snuppa turning this very stupid argument to his advantage, but also the fun of them: we have Fondue sabotaging snizz who has to scramble to buy store bought, Snizz and Fondue both giggling over Bianca's undies like the 12 year olds they are and the two deciding to share the toy and turn the whole mock trial thing Snuppa did to start this mess on the couple for their bs. A fun episode to close out a pretty solid season.

Action League Now! is probably the most famous of the KaBlam! shorts: It started on all that before here, got a burger king kids meal toy before eventually being repacakaged as it's own show after KaBlam! ended. If your not thinking of Henry and June when KaBlam! comes to mind, it's likely these guys. It's clear while Nick was Meh on KaBLam! after a while and kinda just.. gave up on it after the first season despite giving it three more, they LOVED Action League Now!

Action League Now! has a great setup: the characters are all action figures, whose world is integrated into ours: their soccer/football stadium is a game of fooseball, the couch is a canyon, and cars frequently run over our heroes as one of the most literal running gags i've ever seen. Action League Now! has a lot of clever world building and set design, using every part of the house and every household object possible to create it's world.. and mutilate it's characters.

Yeah Action League's other big hook is taking the hammer to it's main character.. and ceiling fan, rotating fan, waffle iron, lots of dropped objects, the same car over and over, and whatever else they can think up. How funny it is varies: when the show is being creative and using everything they can to attack our heroes, it's hilarious, comedy gold and great slapstick. But the show doe sfall back on "dropping things on them" or "running the characters over" at times , the same way. It just dosen't have the thrill of say, having Stinky Diver get eaten by a dog or melt man melted into a waffle. It's when the show puts some elbow grease into the slapstick and the world it's built that it's at it's best.

As for the in universe premise the setup is simple: The Action League are superheroes made up of random generic toys that a kid might have: The Flesh, a super strong, super naked and super dumb guy whose basically a stripped he man figure, Stinky Diver, an obnoxious asshole , diving expert and gi joe. Thunder Girl, she flies like thunder and is clearly a repurposed barbie style doll, and Meltman , a melted gi joe whose obnoxious as he is useless, and as a result gets most of the slapstick, which fills my heart with such joy. Suffer, suffer tiny melted man.

Helping them are the Chief, their boss and Bill, their lab guy. Well the Chief really just tells them to do stuff and berates them for being a cavelcade of Fuckups but someone has to.

The action leagues days are mostly spent opposing their arch enemy, the mayor, who has a unique weird raspy voice, kinda halfway to nixon, and is a delight as he comes up with various plans to kill our heroes and somehow hasn't been indicted.

Action League Now is not half bad. The animation style is unique, the cast, all from the radio show WDVE in Pittsburg is really dang good, my only real complaint is character wise the characters are mostly one gimmick. Stinky is an asshole who smells like one, The Flesh is stupid, Thunder Girl is constantly and rightfully shooting down melt man, and Melt Man sucks suprising no one. The show's creativity helps it along though ,as while most of the plots are stock, the sheer novelty keeps the show a humming and hopefully as we go we can see it evolve and really play with the brilliant setup it has here.

Road to Ruin: The Mayor drives around like an asshole and litters, fufilling his campaign promises but putting the world in jeapordy I guess Our heroes have to stop him and get hit by , run over by and generally futzed with by a car a lot. It was okay.

No Fly Zone: The Mayor squirts white Goo on thunder girl

This robs her of her powers just as the Mayor kidnaps some children to a bird house. This one was a lot of fun, from Thunder Girl trying to use ballons with Stinky naturally ruining it by harpooning her ballons, and the kids the mayor kidnaps because he has a quota of being an asshole to fufill by friday or his ass is on the line end up turning the tables.

The Wrath of Spotzilla: A two part adventure, and apparently the only two part short in Kablam! history. Granted every Action League Now! short is presented in two parts, but it's in the same episode. This is two diffrent shorts. Anyways an ancient moster, aka a cute doggo, is unleahsed and our heroes fail as usual. NOrmally if something has a dog in it it's automatically better and while Spotzilla dosen't hurt the episode they really dont 'do anything new in the "household animal is a threat to smaller creatures" concept. Or disaster movie parody. You wasted a dog Action League Now! Foreshame! Foreshame! Fore...

Nightmare on Memory Lane: This is a fun one: Meltman gets amnesia after he falls out a window, and needing a formula he stole from the mayor, the Action League tries to jog his memory.. by dropping things on top of him repeatedly while he reacts more bored than anything. IN other words this segment is pure comedy gold. Maybe it's the same reaction, maybe it's the carnage, maybe it's that I love to see meltman suffer.... we'll never know.

....

All of those things, it's all of those things.

Dog Day Afterschool: the mayor tries to shoot the Chiefs dog up into space.

So our heroes have to rescue him. As usual they fail kinda hard but he lands in the mayor's kitty pool hot tub so it's all good.. excep tfor the two women who were with him. I'm pretty sure they died as we never see them after the crash. People the Action League Have Murdered Somehow Count: 2

RoboFlesh: This is one of my faviorites of season 1, tied with one we'll get to soon. The Mayor decides to pull the old "evil clone" scheme, locking the flesh in a lunchbox with a deviled egg lure and debuting RoboFlesh... just as naked but with more bolts sticking out of his body, so .. sexier. And really RoboFlesh's deisgn is a major part of why I love this episode: jamming a bunch of screws into an action figure to make him an evil robot seems like something a kid would do, and as an added bonus NO ONE CAN TELL THEM APART. It's a classic evil twin joke sure, one is obvious.. but by making it THIS obvious, as well as having Robo Flesh have a robotic tin to his voice and you know, throw a cinderblock at the action league, it just ratchets it up. How they solve the dillema is also great.

Stinky Diver: I got this one. Hey stupid! The Flesh: Yes? Stinky Diver: That's him alright (Harpoons RoboFlesh into a blender)

IN the Belly of The Beast: The Mayor uses a vacum. This one dosen't suck, but it just may blow... it's average is what i'm saying. Good setup it just really doesn't use. It's also meltman centric. Though the rest of the team does mock him for trying ot be interim leader, so it at least has that.

Where Pidgeons Dare: My faviorite of the season, the premise is simple: the league has to guard the heirs to the queen of pidgeons. Instead of the mayor though the threat is our heroes are morons and the eggs keep getting destroyed. Also two kids steal one to throw it on the sidewalk while meltman tries to perform cpr. This one just has a LOT of good black comedy, and the ending twist, that they were somehow at the wrong nest, is great. As is meltman getting eaten by a snake.

Stink or Swim: Stinky has ptsd after his brother apparently drowned in a toilet. Everyone is a dick about him having ptsd. He manages to save everyone in the end. This one is alright.

Thunder and Lightning: The mayor dresses up as a new superheroine, lightning lady and upstages thunder girl. This one's okay, I do like how lightning lady uses various barbque related things to take out the boys, and how she smacks thunder girl with shrimp, but I have almost nothing else to say about this one. YOu've seen this plot before. Teen Titans did it better a decade later. Next.

Sinkhole of Doom; One of ALN's many pilots, Thundergirl has to rescue the mayor's hot son from a garbage disposal. Stinky Diver is a jealous douche. Thundergirl naturally chooses the mayor's son as unlike Meltman, his face is mangled but he still has a personality. And you know isn't meltman. A lot of great gags in this one, with both the use of the garbage disposal and most of our heroes getting caught on a ceiling fan.

Testimony of Terror: Another banger of a season finale, an obnoxious kid who was witness to the Mayor's crimes needs to be protected. Which crimes we don't know. Unfortunatley for our heroes the kid's abit of a monster and does creatively fucked up things from them, from putting stinky in a vcr which puts Stinky in the tv because science, to thunder girl getting bodied by a rotating fan, and of course my faviorite, meltman getting turned into a waffle. Naturally the kid also easily takes care of the mayor.. and then drops more shit on our heroes. Sounds like someone could easily win the recall election , eh kid. I mean it's clear the people of action league town lean right. Sociopathy is big in the party right now. not sure about 1993 but I like his chances. I don't really have a segue so...

Life With Loopy comes to us from Stephen Holman. Holman is an intensely weird and deeply fascinating man. Seriously I don't know what I was expecting on his KaBlam! wiki entry (Which by the by has been an invulable resource), but I wasn't expecting a performing artist who made short films, added live theater to them, and performed in venus across new york.

This does explain life with Loopy's unique style and blend of whatever styles holman could thrown in: Life with Loopy uses top motion puppets, but with flat magnetic heads to make expressions easier ot swap out. There's also live action charaters, hand puppets, and a general loose yet intreicatley built style I love about these shorts. They clearly took a lot of effort and Holman has my utter respect.

Life with Loopy came about because Holman pitched a diffrent short, meet the shrimpkins, to play between shows and during commericals, ala the adventures of pete and pete and ironically how Life with Loopy would be used later on Nicktoons. Nick wanted an animated segment with it and while Meet the Shrimpkins didn't go forward they loved said segment so much, Life with Loopy was added to KaBlam! and the rest is history.

Life With Loopy has a great setup: Larry, an 11 year old down to earth boy, relates the various misadventures of his sister Loopy, an energetic 7 year old. Each episode takes a problem a kid would have like not wanting to take a bath, loosing a goldfish or trying to get something from under the couch cushions and esclates it in glorious fashion: Loopy dosen't bathe for so long she grows a forest on her and becomes a national park, hearing the toilet leads to goldfish heaven leads to loopy traveling there, and the couch cushions lead to an underground world where various junk is smelted to power the earth's core. It's all insane, it's all insanely creative, and it's all wonderful. I dickered on if this was my faviorite or not.. but yeah, Life with Loopy is easily my favorite of the recurring segments, though Snizz and Fondue and the Off Beats both come close. But you just can't match this one for i'ts creatvitiy, unqiue style and heart. Loopy is endearing and relatable all at once and you can't help but root for her in whatever she's gotten into.

Hi-Fi Frankenstein: Larry is busy with a punk phase, calling people goobers while singing Beef Steak, great band name and as a nice touch the poster for Beefsteak is in the background of larry's room for the rest of the shorts, so Loopy does what any kid would do: she builds a robot out of an old stero. Robo-Larry is fine at first, but turns out to have gone all Ultron on the poor girl and wants to conquer the world for appliances. It's a great start for these shorts (not THE start but we'll get to that), a fun premise, and a sweet ending with Larry realizing how lonely his sister was and assuring her she's got him.

Trouble with Inflation: This one has another relatable premise: Loopy and Larry's easing going dad only gets mad at one thing. BILLS. BILLS BILLS BILLS. So Loopy wants to stop the mailman from delivering them. She tries being nice to the guy to stop delivering bills, then decides to just turn the house into a balloon. And in her defense while most mail carriers are just people trying to do thier job, this guy is a stone faced dick who just HAS to announce Loopy's dad got bills and creates a fucking sky bicycle.. which while impressive is still a dick move just to deliver a man bills.

The resolution is deeply sweet though: Loopy can't stop the bills, a fairly mature resolution.. so she just sends her dad a letter encouraging him and telling her she loves him instead.

Egghead: This one I remembered simply for it's unique puppet: Loopy is told, jokingly, that if she eats too many eggs, she'll become one. And sure enough this actually comes true and Larry, left babysitting loopy, has to keep a giant chicken from trying to hatch her. This one would be great enough for the egg puppet and utterly weird, even for this show, premise, but we also have a delightfully off exteriminator guy who can't help because there's a man sized giant mantis in his office he has to deal with.

Back To Nature: This one seemed pretty inocious for this show: Loopy refuses to bathe because "i'll just get dirty again" and in a rarity for this show her parents DO still try to get her to shower. Normally they just roll with whatever she's doing this week, which is adorable. They don't care if they end up in the sky, their daughter means well dang it. Her dad telling her she has to bathe as long as she's under his roof lead sto her camping outside and being declared a national park, easily my faviorite joke of this season of shorts. I had to pause for a moment because it's just.. so dang weird. And the fact THAT'S what gets her to bathe as the idea of tourists around her terrifies her? *chef's kiss*

Lunar Loopy: Another favorite of mine. Loopy wants to meet the man in the moon. We also get the first hint Larry has a scientific bent as he feels one isn't there due to science. Naturally he dosen't realize what show he's on and Loopy lassos luna to earth to prove her point. WE also get an utterly adorable moon dance party with the two. We also do have a man in the moon making shadowpuppets, a very weird man played byu the guy from the egghead short, now as an astronaut who got left behind by nasa and is greatful he can get off the moon, which loopy thankfully puts back before the earth is destroyed. A charming, wonderfully mellow short.

Goop on the Loose: Larry tries to figure out just the right goop for his hair while a can of mystery goop in the cabin turns into a gremlin. Loopy tries hunting it.. onlyf or the thing to abscond with her dad's wart. Also we get way too many shots of that wart. I do like the reveal the gremlin is made of wart remover.. and they got married in vegas. Good for them.

Goldfish Heaven: This one is the series actual pilot, with a slightly rougher style but I saw this one a lot as kid and love it dearly. So Loopy's goldfish dies and is flushe down the toilet. Being told this is goldfish heaven, she decides to travel there for closure, building an adorable goldfish suit. While a goldfish friend of her goldfish is a prick about it, her goldfish is fine with giving her closure and it's all very sweet. Also the design of goldfish heaven, essentially a giant fish tank is amazing as are the goldfish puppets. Great stuff.

Mother-Nature Bowl Off: Loopy's mom makes the mistake of telling her summer rain is just mother nature bowling, so Loopy goes ten rounds with her. I like the resolution: We know from the wraparound i'ts still raining so we assume Loopy looses.. but no she dosen't. Mother nature is just a sore looser. She's also kinda obnoxious making this my least favorite short of this batch, but it's still charming as usual. A meh life with loopy short is STILL a life with loopy short.

Mom's Mystery Casserole: Another faviorite of mine. Mom makes a weird cassarole every friday and after refusing to tell her kids what's in it, which I'm certain is against the Geneva Convention but whateves, Loopy sneaks into her moms cabinet and finds out it's fish sauce.. complete with a neat looking fish king inside. How she wins is also fun as the cans try to can her, only for Loopy to point out the fish sauce is terrible, the cans realize they have a bad rep and silence him

Revolutions Loopy Has Caused Count: 1

20,000 Leagues Under the Sofa: Larry looses his baseball in the cushions, and it turns out weird, cool looking molemen are smelting various things to power the earth's core. I just.. love the concept here.. as well as Loopy understandably shoving the ball in his face after he complains it's singed given she BARELY got it out from an incenerator. A solid end to a magical season

Promethus and Bob comes to us from Cote Zellers, who has a background in commericals, which tracks given P and B's short run times and simple premise: an alien came to earth in caveman times to teach a caveman how to do things from our modern society and presumibly his advaned one. He usually fails, often thanks to an asshole bastard butt monkey that's around. This is apparently his job.

Zellers pitched the idea to nick, though the original pitch was apparently much darker and involved Bob killing and eating promethus...

Yeah I didn't want to know that either but we're both stuck with that knoweldge. Nick liked the basic concept but asked him to tone it down.

Animation wise P and B is gorgeous, having beautiful claymation models with the two leads having just the best designs, Promethus having an emaciated, skinny look that feels utterly ailen while bob is more chonky and relatable. Like me. Monkey.. is a monkey.

P and B was amixed bag for me as the early shorts got pretty repettitive with only wheel standing out. However as I wrote this I found the later shorts.. are really damn funny. I enjoyed them at the time and it's clear Zellers realized they were getting sdamey and thus starts finding creative new ways to do the joke, with the presentation matching. This short went from a part of the episode I dreaded to a fun addition as anything else, and I look forward to seeing what these two doofuses have next.

Bowling: Okay admitely while i'm lukewarm on these shorts... even i'm not so stonehearted as to not love an alien teaching a caveman bowling. I'm not made of stone. I don't really remember this one but it gets a pass on the concept.

Wheel: This is a fun one as Prometheus instructs bob on the wheel and he naturally goofs on it. Clothes: Bob wears a vest.... it looks good on him and it's fun to see bob in a vest. That's all I got.

Music: Prometheus tries to teach Bob Music. This sure did happen.

Fishing: Prometheus teaches bob to fish. He eats for zero days.

Bridge: this is a fun one as it's less about "oh stupid caveman can't do people things", and more Prometheus simply mangles the lesson. He tries to teach Bob how to cross a bridge.. but uses a log, which isn't ideal for it and is less convent than bob just jumping to the other side. We also get a really fun bit of the two rolling on the long. Good stuff and what the series can be at it's best.

Shelter: This is another fun one as Promethus tries to teach bob to use a tent, wtih Bob trying to use shelter. Maybe I like these more than I thought. I love how both end up blowing away. The show really seems to work better when it's more character based, which yes both of them are silent but the puppets convey such energy and character.

Cooking: My second faviorite, Promethus tries to teach bob to cook.. and eventually gives up and just goofs around till his superior shows up and is an asshole about it. It's nice to both see WHY Prometheus is so uptight, he has to do this for work, and see him just.. have fun with bob instead of trying to force feed a lesson he's clearly not getting.

Kite: They fly a kite. That's about it.

Say it with me now They nervous, they nebbish, they small, and the Populars don't like 'em at all. But that's ok, life is sweet. They cool. They the Off-Beats...

The Off-Beats comes from Mo Willems who , out of the creators of these shorts is easily the most prollefic. He always loved animation, having drawn a cartoon a day while traveling the world, and making a successful name for himself on Seasame Street before making the Off-Beats for Nickelodeons. Starting out as "the Misfits" before the name was changed for legal reason, the Off-beats was originally a between commericals segment , something I remember as a kid, before becoming part of Ka-Blam!. Willems would go on to Cartoon Network making the short lived Sheep in the Big city, which I barely remember but do remember liking as a kid, and , to my shock, being the showrunner for Kids Next door's first four seasons. So yeah Mo was responsible for making one of my faviorite shows what it was, and then went on to do childrens books because he's a neat dude.

The Off Beats is essentially the early charlie brown specials mixed with some psychedelic minimalist backgrounds and some hope. It's not to say Peanuts lacks hope. As a huge fan of it, there's plenty of nice moments of kindness, camaraderie and snoopy's awkward teenage nephew

But the 60's era stuff Off-beats takes from had a nice heaping helping of

Charles Schultz did not pull punches at how cruel life, and especially kids would be: Charlie Brown rarely won, Linus was mocked for believing in the great pumpkin and patting birds on the head, Lucy once threw linus out for a period in the 70s, Peppermint Patty is deeply insecure. Even into the 90's there's a whole arc about Marcy's parents overly pressuring her. These kids went through it.

WIth the Off Beats while their still bullied by the populars, they have each other and have less brutal honesty with one another than the peanuts gang. Their just four pretty wholesome kids who happen to be kinda weird. WE have Betty Anne Bongo, a beatnik born thirty years too late (Played by Mischa Barton of all people), Tommy, a pretty mellow charlie brown looking kid who will snap at you at the drop of a hat. And he has a pretty sweet hat. Repunzil who has long hair, and the duo of August and September. August is a nerdy inventor kid who makes wacky inventions, and September is his dog, who replaces snoopy's whimsy and lack of awarness for anything going on with a dry wit and a desire to be left the hell alone, but a willigness to help in a pinch.

The Off Beats is a lot of fun. Granted as a peanuts fan, this is like catnip to me as it's a well done pastiche that gets what Schultz was going for but still makes it it's own, so i'm biased, but it's a well animated, charming mellow little piece unlike everything else. While the rest of the KaBlam! shorts are good, all of them have that manic 90's energy to them in some level. The Off-Beats is very much it's own weird thing and I wish it'd gotten it's own series, it's that good. it did get a valentine's special to add to my jumbly collection of KaBlam odds and ends I need to look at at some point after this retrosepctive, so that's nice.

The Robodog: September takes a day off so August decides to make hi m jealous with a robot dog that plays 4 ever. You can see where this is going

Okay not THAT far, but the dog does want to play and play an dplay, with August learning his lesson and September making the robot a ro-boy to play with. A charming if bizzare choice of start as it dosen't really.. introduce any other cast members of feature them.

Too Much Attention for September: This is a wholesome, fun little short. September just ants to take off a nap and blows off August to hang out in his flying machine. This ends up going badly as every other off beat gets getting in his face in teh way a kid would: betty anne wants him to "take it", Repunzil won't stop petting him and Tommy yells at him for not going bow wow. Thankfully his owner has a flying machine so we get a nice ending of September and August taking off into the sky.

Betty Anne's Glasses: The first one actually involving the populars. They cameo in Robodog but dont' really do anything there. Here their leader steals Betty Anne's glasses so we get hyjinks as they half assedly hide them. August also makes a device to find them but as it points out, is too chicken to actually confront the populars. Thankfully they all dress up like the president, easily my faviorite bit of the short as all September (making up the head) has to do is say he's from washington for them to buy it. The best of the best.

Surprising Shorts is any non main segment on KaBlam for season 1. I don't know if this holds for season 2 onward, but i'll likely be keeping the suprising shorts titlecard. These are the odds and ends, mostly pilots for shows. It's also one of the main reasons KaBlam is in copyright hell: see at least two shorts got picked up, one set, lava, was only leased out temproarily, and in general if an episode is missing from Paramount+ , it's usually due to one of these. Why they can't just edit the episode to remove the coming up things featuring them, I don't know.

Lava: A series of abstract shorts from french animator Fredrico Vitali. I.. don't have much to say about these. Their well animated but their also only 30 seconds and while this review has proven I love weird shit.. this is a bit much even for me with one short having a cat fly through space and then into the unvierse inside a dog's anus

Not bad, just not for me

Anemia and Iodine: My faviorite of these, it's a pilot for a story about two best friends: The chalky faced cat anemia and her.. whatever she is best friend iodine who along with Anemia's brother Dropsy go to an old house to find a cat ghost. Ther'es a really nice adam's family style quality with Anemia I love. The short oozes spooky charm, is fun and the twist ending of the cat they find being the ghost is all kinds of neat. The only thing I really don't like is Dropsy, who gets VERY grating despite the shorts runtime. Why Nick didn't pick this up, I really don't know.

Angela Anaconda: yes THAT angela anconda. This series getting picked up by Fox Kids is one of the main reasons you don't see it here. For those less familiar, Angela Anaconda is a slice of life sitcom using yearbook photos and clipart to tell the tales of her, angela and not nanette nanoir, Angela's smug arch enemy. I thought the series was fine as a kid, but these shorts ar ekinda rough> The art style isn't quite polished yet so it just looks offputting and it's mostly just Angela's habit of elaborate revnege fantasies on her enemies, from murdering nanette for getting her barred from the class picnic to fore marrying nanette to johnny abotti after Johnny picks nanette over her and gives her the valentine Angela made and okay maybe that last one's justifable homicide. Bobs Burgers would do this exact same plot better, but it's still not a bad pilot and gets the series across. Glad this one go tpicked up, not so glad nick apparently REALLY can't learn how to just edit these shorts out the way they did lava.

The Louie and Louie Show: This one has great leads, a chameleon named Louie (played by Jim Belushi) and Louie the hamster played by Billy West, who was nick's best boy at the time. It's a aweird duo but it works. the problem is the short.. just dosen't really work for me as the whole premise is the two want to be loved. That's it. The dog gets love but the family present just seems to neglect them and gets mad when , shockity shock, two neglected pets escape because they want attention. It's just way too mean spirited for me. Creator Gary Baseman WOULD go on to make Teachers Pet at least.. and also has a whole abstract art career so there's that.

So with that we've finally worked through the mountain of shorts for this season. But rather than leave it there i've decided in the spirit of the season finale for this season that for each of these reviews i'm proud to present

The Kablammy Awards

For these I'm picking the best short from each recurrnig series, the best of the various startling shorts, and the best short overall from the winners. It's just me.. which already makes it more reliable than the oscars. let's begin

Best Sniz and Fondue Short: Stuntbike Sniz. Second Hand Sniz was close, but this one just has so much goofy charm to it and that your the inspiration gag is an all timer.

Best Action League Now! Short: Testiomony of Terror just inches out Where Pidgeons dare. While I like WPD a lot.. Testimony of Terror just has so much clever carnage, a neat premise and a fun ending.

Best Life with Loopy Short: This was a hard one, with the Front Runners being Lunar Loopy, Mom's Mystery Cassarole and 20,000 Leagues under the sofa. But in the end I have to give it to Lunar Loopy for it's fun take on the " man in the moon, gorgeous visuals and wonderful little dance scene.

Prometheus and Bob: It's log , it's log it's big it's heavy it's wood. It's Log, it's Log it's better than bad it's good.

The Off-Beats: Betty-Ann's Glasses. All hail presdient September

Startling Shorts: Anemia and Iodine. It's not even close. None of the other shorts are horrible but none have this one's unique art style or charm.

Kablamiest Overall Short: It was down to Anemia and Iodine, Lunar Loopy and Betty Anne's glasses for this one but the winner issssss

Betty Anne's Glasses! Congrats. The president bit, as wellas how obviously bad the Populars are at hiding said glasses, wins this one the prize. Congrats off beats.

For now it's time to sign off kablmoids. There will be a look at season 2 next month, same kablam time, same kablam blog. Until next time, thanks for reading.

[scarevalue]

Rita review

A bleak yet fantastical take on real world horrors.

Coming to Shudder this Friday

[willywaldo]

Firebrand is now streaming. My latest reivew for film-forward.com: an uneven period drama about the Tudor monarch’s final spouse that plays fast and loose with the historical record.

[chonacas]

Burning Man My Sister is Alive and on Her Way Home We are the Ripple Effect

Hello my loyal listener!

My sister goes to burning man every year with a camp, this year was certainly a scare, thankfully she is on her way home now!  Also we are the ripple effect, I share about my new journey as a doc film maker.

Other updates, I am releasing my 3rd book :)

Thanks for tuning in, please leave a 5 star reivew, subscribe and connect with me more on social media. https://www.chonacas.com/

Check out this episode streaming now in over 100 countries

[scary-hoe]

Hey Slasher Sisters! Another movie review is coming in hot this Friday! This week I tuned into some Italian horror (aka, the horror of my people ❤) with this Giallo cult classic by Lucio Fulci -- Zombie. This film had a lot of positives to it, but wait until you hear about the moment that it absolutely blew my mind! Read below to find out what scene made me drop my jaw 👻

[rickchung]

Drive-Away Dolls (dirs. Ethan Coen & Tricia Cooke).

[Its] audacious screwball nature never totally jives with the A-list cast and contrasting styles of performances. [Margaret] Qualley and [Geraldine] Viswanathan are lively, but their slapdash together, somewhat reluctant friendship turned cheesy romance feels insubstantial with so much wild setup needed to get them on the road, into trouble, and onto plenty of steamy same-sex detours.