#10 likes and ill clean this up
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I'm so glad people are talking about them again here's them as teens
#my art#text#gravity falls#mabel pines#dipper pines#pine twins#gf fanart#fanart#i went thru a long phase where i dressed exactly like both of these designs#the dipper one was longer and gayer i have proof you can't see#10 likes and ill clean this up
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music heads im reaching far and wide to pick songs to put in the valentines day playlist im making for work this year so drop suggestions pls
#dont worry about if its appropriate if its not and i cant find a clean version ill just not include it#last yrs playlist is almost 7 hours im hoping to bump it up to like 9 or 10 hours#and have broader appeal#im gonna pass around a sheet at work too#my manager already told me to put tate mcrae on the playlist but hes gonna be out of town so fuck him jdbgjkfgh
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had a roach attempt an escape today ☝
#not like. an american roach that invaded the vet room#they were pet roachez ^_^ hissing roachez!!#my little babiez <3 i love the roachez so much im literally the only mf who actually handlez them though#outta 24 ppl im the only one willing to which is SO SAD. theyre such sweet and cute little guyz#15 little roachez :3#one skittered under the tank when i waz cleaning it out... just scooped the little guy back up and put him in#he freaked the other techz out though#i looove love taking care of the roachez though. theyre so cuteeee UGH sorry i love them#i alwayz look forwardz to seeing them they literally get me thru the day lol#im excited to take care of the hornwormz/mothz... i do have a feeling ill end up stuck on roach duty for a few more monthz#just by way of No One being willing to get anywhere near them#also i just dont trust anyone to be gentle with the poor thingz... :[#we only have to handle them for a few minutez at a time to clean out the enclosure but i feel thatz already a few minutez too many#the other groupz before us usually went on for like. 15-20 minz if i remember the med files right. but ive managed to knock it down to 10#trying to figure out how to do it faster.. dont wanna freak the roachez out too badly when i clean the tank out#anyway i had a good day aside from the escape attempt lol that one worried me but dw !!! the little guy was ok and safely returned home :]#kitkat chitchat
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Was having so much fun replaying p3p that I forgot that this game is bad lol
#the klock keeps ticking#i gotta get my ranting gear on its happening again#just got to the part where its revealed that shadow experiments happened at the school 10 years prior#and yeah its as badly written as I remember lol#like first off it really is just kinda like ‘ah yes the kirijo group experimented on kids and created the dark hour and we’re being#recruited to clean up their mess’ and the only one who seems to care is yukari but then like#oooh she cant be mad after all cuz her dad was in on it or whatever#and my favorite fucking guy Ikutski is there with a smile like ah yes yes the fucked up shit ah well anyways lets keep fighting lol#and its like briefly mentioned so fucking casually that mitsurus family involved her in this shit and forced her to awaken to a persona#when she was like 8 and you know. now she has to act as a tool to clean up their mess#and it’s like hold up now. why arent we talking about this aaaaaaa just gonna drop that bomb and leave#my favorite fucking part though is like afterwards all the little scenes we get of the characters processing this information#none really seeming to care all that much about the fucked up part theyre just like ‘damn the dark hour is gonna end’#and we get some of that iconic p3 dialogue where characters just look into the camera and explain their trauma before walking away#akihiko just goes up to shinji to be like ‘hey lol remember that we’re both orphans and thats how we know each other and also my sister#anyway Keep Looking Forward™️ bye’ and then fuuka looks into the camera like#‘yes btw my parents have an inferiority complex and thats why they abuse me which is why i dont mind being manipulated’#like she just. says that its so funny this game was written by a toaster#its so frustrating cuz the conflict could be so interesting but they handle it soooo boring and ignore all the parts that shouldnt be#oh mitsuru dont worry ill write you a better game to be in#come to the fat lesbian party where we kill the kirijo group with hammers
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It took me, ugh, MONTHS (2), to get to cleaning the two shrimp tanks I have... I had IRL issues going on that would have made it extremely difficult to do a water change especially while injured, and I just had to keep putting it off. It's just shrimp, so it wasn't like, the worst situation, especially since I have established plants and the tanks are a couple years old. There was just a lot of algae build-up on the glass, and, well... Let me just say it was not contributing to my mental health and well-being while the tanks were in that state.
I tested the water before I started cleaning and the parameters were fine (like, I could have left the tanks even longer if I would be okay with selling my soul to the Algae Collective), and the plants and shrimp look fine, too (I mean, I've obviously been keeping an eye on the tanks bc I sit right next to them). Actually, I'd wager to say that the plants are looking really great (the lilies haven't died off [yet? This is the longest period of time I've seen them stay... foliage... fol... foliated? Idk.] and the cryptocoryne in the 10gal is fucking huge and needs to be rearranged, just not right now). That fucking algae was a motherfucker to get off the 10gal (it's a plastic tank and I think that makes the algae grip harder than the glass 5gal).
[Also, fyi, depending on the tank's needs and stability, recommended water changes are a small one every week or every other week. My parameters don't seem to do anything dramatic, so I usually aim for a 20-30% water change every third week (just depends on how much vacuuming needs to be done and how cooperative the shrimp are with moving aside). So 2 months is still a lot. I still did the normal 30% ish amount, since doing more will risk the shrimp's well-being if there's a sudden change in everything, and my water parameters indicated a change was unnecessary - but I don't test for more than the minimum freshwater tests, so there could be a buildup of some mineral I'm not testing for, which is why the change IS actually necessary regardless of what my test kit says - because these tanks were evaporating a lot in summer, it condenses the minerals added with each water addition, even tho I usually top up with R.O. water.]
My back is fucking killing me lol. It has been killing me since spring when it 'went out' for the first time, and I'm not getting any relief, it sucks. But this had to be done.
The 5gal is looking pretty cloudy still, since the filter was super gunked up and I accidentally spilled gunk back in, so I may need to retest the 5gal parameters tomorrow just to make sure I don't have to do another water change, but it'll probably be fine, right? Shrimp love mulm and detritus. I did give both tanks a big ole algae tab for their trouble, tho. (I need a fuckening dish for the big tank. I really wanna clean off that white quartz rock again, but being white means it's an algae magnet, and it's just gonna go green again after a month or two.)
Anyway, shrimp tax:
I lov thees widdle oange bebies.
Wish I could take better pictures rn, but I am. Like. Dying. My recommendation: never live in an A-frame style room if you have the option. The wall above my tanks is slanted, and NOT fun for my back to bend underneath the wall for maintenance. (My only flat wall in the room is for my TV/PC.) Also, treat your back nicely, in general. I unfortunately have not had the option to treat my back nicely since spring (fall now), because 'when it rains it pours,' and heavy shit that needs to be moved will not move itself. Once I get a few more things in my room in order, I will hopefully be done with the IRL chaos, bc I have Halloween socks to knit, and I'm not putting that off for another year. (I'm still mad that I couldn't make the ones I planned last year. And I found more Halloween yarn I forgot I bought, so I'm gonna try to make multiple socks.) And I just really need to fucking chill and knit and stop having panic attacks and meltdowns.
#me earlier today: oh i should bleach my hair since i havent been able to shower for 2 days it wont damage it as much#me now: i dont know if i can even stand long enough to shower after this#anyway im gonna try to eat something and then shower and pass tf out.#maybe i shouldve taken a before picture to show how much i did...#...but i do Not want to remember 'that one time i didnt do a water change for 2 months' the algae was gross lol i couldnt even get it all#but honestly idc ab the back wall having algae as long as the front and most of the sides are clear#seriously the algae was textured like sandpaper tho. does algae do pearling? if it does then its calcium buildup too#edit while typing bc i looked it up. yes algae pearls. so the bubbles it was making were drying enough to cause calcium deposits#oH also lmao i found the tiniest pinch of hornwort left in the 10gal. idk why the hornwort doesnt like that tank but its hilarious that...#...that one little fingernail sized piece is still alive floating in there. i stuck it next to the lily but the shrimp will prob dislodge it#the hornwort in the 5gal is just freefloating i cant get that shit to stick#the shrimp love that stuff and they look like little birds in a pine tree#im in so much pain im procrastinating food lmao 'order pizza' crossed my mind but my jaw wont let me eat pizza so fml#anyway. just wanted to show an accomplishment even if its not a praise worthy one since i didnt go the extra 10 miles to water change sooner#awwww tho i love seeing them glide around the tank and now i can see them clearly its so chill#shrimp#aquariums#crustaceans#bugs#Cori.exe#Post.exe#Image.exe#also my therapist started cracking up this morning when i said like 'i can finally rest now tht i dont have a Saw trap bathroom to navigate'#seriously tho it was bad and then another issue in the bathroom came up 2 days ago but theyre both fixed now. my br is normal now.#im not normal tho (normal for myself i mean) and unfortunately thats not gonna be an easy fix but im trying#man can i ever make a post where i dont type a million words lmao. inability to focus and then i start typing more stuff#oh ab the hair bleach man my roots are so dark i just trimmed off the last of the bleach from last time so i got 2tone hair rn#idk when ill get to that. dependsnon my back. i already wasnt in a great state of being when i did the aquariums but i needed to clean them#ok i rly need to try n make food and shower before i start growing algae on myself
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Wow threats of violence and death woe is me. Bitch it's been like this for years if you hate me kill me already and if you don't plan to just shut that shit spitting asshole mouth of yours.
I have nothing to lose if he actually carried on with it, he'd do me a favour. It's funny to me he thinks he scares me and its even funnier he gets more angry when I laugh.
Bro I got used to your abusive shit, it's another day of you being an aggressive coward to me after I ignored you for months even if you wanted a reaction. I don't give a shit lmao
#misc#i cannot take him seriously#i remember i used to be scared back in 2019 lmao bruh hit me if you dare. ill make sure you never step foot in this house or out of a#jail cell for years#what's funnier is that i dont even talk to him he just attacks me like this because he hates me for no fucking reason other than jealousy.#because weve had the same shared trauma but he fucked himself up on purpose to be pitied and i held on and now im independent#and he hates that he cant have my attention anymore after all the years ive been the one TRYING SO HARD#homecooked meals and covering for his ass. cleaning his piss and puke and lending him money anf shit. listening to hi.#bro didn't even care to be nice the tiniest bit to me when i was on the floor after fainting or vomiting blood or when i needed rest because#i was going to work with a fever 10 hours a day to pay hospital and home bills.#lmfao abusive fuck#out of everyone ive left im glad he can see every day how good im having it since i stopped talking to him. thats why hes angry and follows#me around and stares and curses me out. im just quiet. neutral. no expressions no words. and it pisses him off. good eat your liver out#over it bitch#im leaving in 3 hours anyway lmao
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Which came first: bad fanon misinterpretation/misinformation of canon events on tumblr or wildly popular "official" youtube channels?
#is this where the bad fanon takes are coming from?#i had to abandon an hour long video essay less than 10 minutes in last night because there was that much misinfo#like these are easily disproven takes that arent even “up to interpretation” theyre just plain wrong#and its on those big “fandom/nerd/geek” channels that youd think would come with fact checking and people who#have actually read the comics#and yet everytime im disappointed#i just want to listen to my longform videos while i clean!!!#i guess ill add this to#anti batfanon
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de-adend -> de-adend-archived o7 so long!
#text#not art#dont worry abt me posting this in the early ams im studying for an exam this month and its ruined my sleep schedule okay aNYWAYS#tilts head side to side#did you know i made this side blog back in 2018 and it only has 123 posts#i mean my tablet got busted like at some point that year and i borrowed my friend's which was a whole adjustment period#but in 2019 i really hit a stride when i watched the hzbn pilot and very much enjoyed drawing fanart and ocs for it#and like yeah they werent very cleaned up and defo counted more as sketches but that year i did save like 240 as postable pngs#2020 was around 300 a brief lull in 2021 at like 100#2022 was about 300 and 2023 was around 200#i was mullin over these numbers for a bit a while ago when i did that whole new yearly contemplation of 'i wanna draw and post more!'#when like. ive posted about 10% of my art thruout the years [me!!! when i love validation more than god!!!]#and it got me thinking#blinks looks around i mean ill probably still like#post on my other blog bc art is my flesh blood and bones i cant escape it#just you kno maybe not like in the same mindset i unknowingly cultivated within myself here specifically#can u believe it wasnt any aiscare that did it!!! never let a machine take a humans job of feeling bad abt themselves this is home grown
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*through gritted teeth* don’t trust how you feel about your life after 9 pm or during your monthly hell, don’t trust how you feel about your life after 9 pm or during your-
#//vent#I feel so alone#whenever I’m jittery and excited and I gotta talk to somebody there’s never anybody there#usually because of time zones#everybody posted about how quarantine affected them but that’s just literally how I’ve lived my entire life#I want to get a shit job at Joanne’s I’m not kidding deadass I want to experience the mundane life everyone else but me has lived#I only go to town once every 4 months or so and I RELISH it. There’s a whole world out there. Look at all these people with lives as rich#and complex as my own. What I wouldn’t give to small talk with every single person in Fred’s and learn their passions and how they live#all I do is wake up feed clean and water animals that’s all I’ve ever done#I remember being in HS and loving lunch bc I could watch everybody laugh and eat and live#I never got to stay after school for activities bc my mom hated picking me up#I never got to go to parties past 10 yrs old bc my family was more important and they fucking hated me orbiting them#my family is all I’ve ever known and they don’t even realize how starved I am for contact#ANYTHING#ANYTHING AT ALL#ILL TAKE SOME OLD WHITE MAN HURLING SLURS AT ME I NEED TO FEEL ALIVE#I need to feel the bitter sting of life and live#and I don’t even have online friends to play with like yeah I occasionally talk to my besties on here#but I can’t bring myself to ask for anything more
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Jesus christ just realized I haven't like turned on my computer since Thursday, it's just been one of those weeks man
#shut up max#shit idk if im even gonna be in the mood to hop on anything today#i prolly should at least boot it up#but man ive just been so busy. which is both a blessing and a curse#on Friday i hung out with a friend and had dinner with him and that was a blast#<- biggest understatement of my life#and then i worked Saturday morning then went to go see that same friend's dad's band play at a bar afterwards#and then Sunday i worked a sexy 10 hour shift that made me looooooose my mind and also i was just like in a pissed off mood#and then Monday i had a corporate meeting in the afternoon and didn't get home till almost 6pm#but i hung out with a different friend for a few hours that night so that was fun to just like vent about work frustrations and shit#and now im typing up this post at work and i still have almost two hours to go#but i think im just gonna like clean the kitchen when i get home. the table is just fully covered in things and i neeeeeed to organize it#or else ill explode#but i also havent like. had a time to just sit to myself. ive either been working or going to meetings or hanging with friends#which dont get me wrong. Friday was sooooo fun and id take every opportunity to hang out with him if i could#but maaaaan ive been non stop doin somethin for almost a week now. not a single moment to sit and chill#unless im like showering or about to go to sleep
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I've been having soooooo many warden feelings recently again...
#i need to draw her more... i need to draw the polycule#i have started so many random pieces that i haven't finished maybe i shouldn't start another BUT#i honestly dont really have any full art of the three i only have sketches of them#and traditional ones at that so it's not really something I'll clean up and colour since taking pics of traditional art is super unfun#neri stfu#maybe ill write something coherent about them some day#for now ill just keep rambling to my bestie about her like I have been for the past 10 years or whatever 😌👍
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exciting day so far
#264 (the couple who pays extra to have their bed made every day (which is crazy)) knocked over a CLOCK in their room#the wife did it on accident luckily she was ok.but i had 2 hunt down maintenance to fix da clock and i thought i found a guy but apparently#he wasnt actually a maintenance guy So i might kms. but he said hed find a maintenance guy for me so..#bc my boss was like ok ryan (head of maintenance (wnd housekeeping but hes a maintenance guy. my boss is the real head of housekeeping lol)#might be in the maintenance shop. and i was like okie went in and he wasnt 💀💀💀 so i just saw a guybwearing black which i thinkk is#maintenance color and i was like halp me ! and he was like erm yeah ill find a maintenance guy for you ^-^#it was so awk tho. my job on weekdays (except tuesdays bc thats the day they get cleaned) is 2 make the bed and its usually umm#shes usually in da shower with her caretaker. not like eith but. ykwim. and the husband is usually asleep on da couch#but i got there like 10 minutes early so they were both up and also yhe husband was like Are you a guy can you help and i was like erm no#and i misunderstood i thought he was having like#a medical or#something else issue. yk. but then i overheard him talking to the wifes caretaker and realized he said CLOCK. and i was like ohhh ok..#but i finished the bed and said okie ill find a maintenance guy t come help asap :]#and he was like thanks 👍 hes very sweet idk if we had spoken b4. well probably but idr much of it#i think ive mainly spoken to da wife b4. shes very sweet shes had a stroke so its a bit difficult to understand her sometimes but shes very#nice.. i ws sooo worried thenfirst day bc allegedly we got there early (aka the time they usually went to do the bed) so now k do it at 9#which is mildly inconvenient but not too bad. ideally id be making the bed b4 i starty rooms 4 the day bc i have like an hour anf a half to#do my morning work. so i could just slot ir in real easy.. but its all good jo worries. but ya so she was kind of irritated the first day#and also it was my first time speaking to someone who had had a stroke. so i didnt realize thats just like. how she ralks and thought she#was just super duper mad. and i was like eep! but its ok.
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.
#i lost my temper last night lol#very lowkey but still. over the dumbest thing#im very sensitive about people thinking i have nothing to do or that im not doing anything when i actually am overwhelmed with things i not#just want but NEED to do and i also have what feels like a#lively lecture hall thats just ended if you understand#people discussing the lecture people discussing their upcoming plans people trying to rush out people lined up to talk to the#lecturer/presenter people rushedly working on assignments for the next class etc . anyway#it wasn't about me at all loool but that someone suggested that 'we' dont do anything and that all 'we' do all day is think about what to#buy next and how to decorate the house#thats IT. THATS ALL#and still i was like maybe YEEEEEWWW DONT DO ANYTHING ELSE but think of things to buy#granted. that also annoys me. as if i have disposable income to buy things i want to vs scrounging and innovating to buy things i NEED#or getting annoyed at the suggestion that older/not so pretty furniture being sold for $10 to anyone instead of saved bc ME. EYE NEED IT.#i dont know when or where ill move to but i WILL NOT have extra money to throw around to redecorate all new. EYE need the old bookcase. EYE#need the ugly metal bedframe and mattress#EYE need the ugly old-fashioned desk and ancient office chairs#and then the few things that are mine are like. suggested someone else have them. or they dont care not to GET PERIOD BLOOD all over#the seat#im so.#its like just because you got me this as a gift doesn't make it YOURS to give away or ruin#i didnt make or ask you to buy this. but you did. its mine now. please at the very least NOT BLEED ON IT THEN NOT EVEN CLEAN IT FOR WEEKS#maybe even MONTHS!!!!!!
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man
#i want to cry to someone everything sucks#normally it's fine that im never happy just living studying but kt gets so hard when im on my period#idk if it's real or if im making it up but i genuinely feel like crying for no reason#if i was at home i would lay down on my couch and eat a lot of unhealthy favorite food and my mom would talk to me about#some soap opera and i would only half listen and it would be okay#but here toh fr i feel like ill start crying in front of my dad if he keeps ignoring me to work or look at his phone#i don't even know what i used to do to make myself happy and god that's scary. i don't want to sink into sadness again#i know i should talk to my friend but why am i so scared. like every night i think ill do it tonight but then i just chicken out and go to#sleep. it's crazy whenever i do talk to her aftera lot of time i feel instantly better and i berate myself for not having done it sooner#but like. aah. im scared it's a lose lose like what if i do talk to her and it doesn't make anything better and then i don't even#have that last sliver of hope left. on the other hand#what if i do talk to her and it makes everything better and then i start relying on her and then she's not there when i need her again?#i hate being dependent on people it's so scary and you can never count on them to be there#i miss being a kid that clean happiness untouched by any other sad emotion and entirely independent#now it's like even if im happy im terrified of losing it and no thing is really enough#i wish i could just. not have emotions for s year. just till exams. i can't focus like this i keep spacing out between#lectures randomly tearing up for no reason#i don't know i don't know#oh it's day 2 of periods hopefully it'll all go away on its own it usually does#i hate this pcod bs so much cause like i get depressed twice once when my period is due but then it doesn't come but im still dep#and once when it actually does come like 10 days later#like bitch tf let me live
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boom yippee if this gets x amt of notes post fun lovely rejoice
10 notes -> i’ll clean my room more routinely
50 notes -> i’ll try to read more
100 notes -> i’ll go outside more
200 notes -> i’ll try to see my friends in person more often
400 notes -> i’ll put my vent blog in my pinned post
600 notes -> i’ll try to be more accepting of being seen as vulnerable or weak idk
800 notes -> i’ll try to eat more consistently
900 notes -> i’ll try to stop worrying about being constantly skinny
1000 notes -> i’ll try to stop feeling guilty about eating
2000 notes -> i’ll start opening up to close friends about stuff ig
3000 notes -> i’ll try the butterfly project
5000 notes -> i’ll talk to my guidance counselor about having unhealthy coping mechanisms
7000 notes -> i’ll stop keeping sharp things in my room at night
8000 notes -> i’ll talk to my parents about possible in person therapy
9000 notes -> i’ll get rid of the razorblade in my room for good its not really a razorblade but wtv
10000 notes -> i’ll try to make it to this summer
edit - no spamming u can comment a few times or reblog a few times but like 8 is max 💗
edit -> 10000 notes is no longer that ill tell my parents about relapsing because im a loser scaredycat :((
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i long for dry air and slightly inconvenient summers so dearly. how much until i can Literally just get out of here
#ill pull up my money spreadsheet again T_T im extra woozy right now though#ive been so worried about the humidity i feel like everything is going to grow Mold#i can identify at least three different brands of Needs to be cleaned really hard asap OR ELSE#i still didnt get to corners in my room . its scary when everything feels infestable.#reminds me of the week after i found out what a maggot was when i was like 9? 10? I thought my house was gonna get eaten scary style#they have what i think is a myth about brazilian houses and the structure being appropriate for water based cleaning. Do not believe this.#well maybe do believe it if you dont live in the Wretched Coast but i dont know. i think just pouring water on the floor and washing it is#crazy. its scary to even leave things outside to dry sometimes. because the air is Wet.#sorry for the pre fainting behavior in this post. Very Dizzy. i was sick yesterday due to evils and it always kind of nerfs me for the next#day or so#yeah#.txt
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