#1.7k words

[coiled-dragon]

GOD I really hope the ficwip word for Word Game Wednesday tomorrow will be a word in my Priest fic...

"But Willow, didnt you just post a Renfield priest fic?"

Yes, well, uh, about that, I have friends who are wonderful and terrible enablers who I get into my brainrot and then act surprise when they FUEL the brainrot and long story short there is aNOTHER ONE COMING and Its driving me insane and I wanna share it

[space-blue]

Collage by Merve Özaslan

A couple of scientists prepare themselves for a long sleep stasis, in hopes of living through the war that is destroying the world around them.

[aimbutmiss]

Mihawk was surprised when Crocodile came up to him with the idea of Cross Guild, which was surprising in itself, because it took a lot to get such reaction out of the stoic man. Mihawk's initial reaction was to assume Crocodile had finally gone mad after his fall from grace. But it didn't take him long to see the full picture. Buggy's debt and the sheer amount of men who adored him in his crew...he could be used easily and efficiently. But Mihawk didn't care about all that. He wasn't a businessman like Crocodile, he didn't care about money or power like him. But despite this, he still agreed. There were two main reasons why he did so:

1- He was bored. With Zoro and Perona gone, he was left on his own on his dreary island. (No offence to the humandrills, but they weren't exactly good company) At first he was quite happy about his situation, he did value his solidarity after all. However, that bliss didn't last very long. He quickly found his usual routine to be repetitive and dreadful, more and more as the days passed. Losing his warlord status right after triggered a fuse in his mind. He could do anything he wanted (not that the government ever got in the way of him doing as he pleased) but he realised that he didn't know what it was that he wanted. Crocodile's offer reminded him of the offhand conversations he used to have with Shanks at dirty bars, which brings us to the second point:

2- He was very intrigued by Buggy. Shanks babbled a lot after he had a bit too much to drink, more than usual at least. But he would still have some level of awareness no matter how drunk he was, never letting his guard completely down. This was not the case with Mihawk. They were close friends, something even more at some point, so Shanks felt comfortable enough to open the dam holding back his words around him. Mihawk appreciated this, not only because it was a huge show of trust, but also because of how entertaining his stories were. Stories about wars and victories, the Pirate King and Dark King Rayleigh... It was all so intriguing. But everything somehow always circled back around to one man: Buggy. Mihawk had never heard of him before, but if Shanks' words were to go by he must have been truly exceptional. Shanks used to have this lovesick look on his face whenever he talked about his old friend, sometimes even straight up sobbing in front of him. This man, who was on Gold Roger's crew and made Shanks fall head over heels in love, perplexed Mihawk. How could such a man exist, hiding his existence for so long? Oh, how he longed to meet him.

Unfortunately for Mihawk, their first meeting didn't go according to plan. Marineford was a mess. He wasn't very interested in the government's goals, he just wanted to see how far straw hat would go. That boy's potential shone so bright, it didn't surprise him one bit that red hair also saw it. What he didn't expect at all though, was to run into the Buggy from Shanks' stories, who was being used like a human shield by straw hat. So, it didn't phase Mihawk one bit when his sword cut straight through the man but he quickly put himself back together. The blue hair, the red nose, this couldn't possibly be anyone else. Mihawk had a certain image of Buggy in his mind, but that all shattered at one look at this man-baby in front of him. There was no way this was the man Shanks was praising left and right, right? Or perhaps, Shanks' stories were always tinted with rose coloured glasses and very far from the truth. How disappointing. But still, something didn't sit well in Mihawk's mind. There must have been some amount of truth to the words he heard. He wanted to see more, but unfortunately didn't have the opportunity to catch the clown again, with Shanks arriving and all. Yet here it was, two years later, Crocodile was handing him a second chance on a silver platter. He simply couldn't refuse.

And so, he agreed to playing house with Crocodile. It was obvious why the man had reached out to him instead of, literally anyone else. Mihawk was strong. He had a strong hold on the use of haki, which the other man lacked. He could easily protect them while Crocodile ran the business part of things. They would work well together, covering each other's weak points. The more obvious reason though, was the fact that Mihawk happened to be one of the very few people Crocodile got along with. That man had a habit of making enemies of everyone he came across, which was not surprising considering he wasn't very likable. But that never bothered Mihawk, he did like a challenge.

The more he got to know Buggy, the more he hated the man, which was not what he was going for at all. He tried his best to see any good traits in him, but repeatedly failed to do so. The man was like a soggy, wet mop, who cried at any chance. He was way too easy to push around, and Mihawk kept doing it because the damn clown was so annoying. His voice, his mannerisms all got on his nerves. This was it, giving up was the only choice. There was no way this clown had any redeemable quality. Shanks was just more insane than he initially thought, whatever. It was just wasted time, and he wouldn't waste any more of it.

Just as he had decided on his departure from Cross Guild and had mentally prepared himself to clash with Crocodile (which he really didn't want to do, he actually liked the man) fate decided this was not the end. All the stalking he did payed off as slowly, he started seeing the clown in a new light. It was the small things at first. The man clearly cared for his crew, and it was almost sweet. He'd always put aside time to train in acrobatics with Cabaji, and to groom Richie with Mohji. He and Alvida had tea time together, giving the woman her much needed gossip time. He was more silent with his closer confidants, he let them do the talking while he listened. He let Cabaji teach him new moves, to help him out when he struggled. He laughed at Mohji's horrible jokes. And it wasn't that boisterous clown laugh, oh no, it was much more...quiet. Yet somehow more vibrant. It was genuine. He let Alvida paint his nails, and let Richie lick his face even when it got red and irritated. He was usually known for his grand gestures as the "genius jester", but he showed his love much more subtly to his friends. It was almost refreshing to see the difference. Almost like the usual Buggy was a performance, a show. And Mihawk was finally seeing the backstage.

Then, one day, he ran into him in the library. He was in his colourful pyjamas, hair tied into a bun and no clown makeup to cover his face. No makeup. One look into his sea green eyes and Mihawk finally started to understand what Shanks must have been thinking. This man was beautiful. And he was holding one of his favourite books.

"D-do you want me to leave? Because I totally can! I'll be out of here in a jiffy-"

"No need. You may stay."

Mihawk didn't know what came over him, but he walked over to the other man. "I quite enjoyed that one. Which chapter are you on?"

And just like that, their unofficial book club started. Buggy was a lot more clever than he let on. Mihawk quite enjoyed listening to his opinions about the books they read. One day, it stopped just being books. They'd talk about anything and everything. Mihawk hated to admit it, but this was exactly what he was missing on Kuraigana: companionship. He felt comfortable with Buggy, and it felt way too easy to fall into a routine with him. Buggy was knowledgeable on a lot of things. He knew chemistry and physics, spending a lot of time in his workshop working on his bombs. He was also a stellar navigator. Clearly his apprenticeship under Roger hadn't been for nothing like it seemed. And when he spoke of old tales, he wouldn't smile like Shanks did. His eyes were carrying sadness and sorrow Mihawk couldn't comprehend. How fascinating, that the same experiences can bring completely different emotions to different people.

When he wanted to try to see Buggy more from red hair's perspective, his goal wasn't falling in love. But that's exactly what happened. It happened all too quickly. He got back into his farming and cooking hobby, because now he felt he had a reason to settle down on Karai Bari. A lot of his cooking ended up on Buggy's plate. Unintentionally, at first, but it made the clown so happy that Mihawk didn't have it in himself to stop. If anything, he started to spend a lot more time in the kitchen. And the escalation of their relationship wasn't one sided, Buggy had also started feeling more comfortable around him. (Which definitely didn't make Mihawk fill with warmth) He started asking things of him like "Can you brush my hair?" "Can you watch me perform this trick?" and Mihawk found that he was losing his ability to say no at an alarming rate. He was falling for the man. He took that revelation with grace, he wasn't the type to deny his feelings, unlike a certain someone. (Crocodile's denial of his feelings for Buggy is a whole other story that was happening consecutively to all this) And as he watched Buggy polish Yoru with careful hands and focused eyes, he found it all too easy to understand Shanks. No wonder this man had an army of men following him, willing to do anything he said. Buggy the Clown was dangerous, and he just added Mihawk's name to his long list of victims.

Mihawk's mouth curved upwards as he took the shiny sword from a smiling Buggy. He found that just this once, he didn't mind being a victim at all.

[sycamorality]

i just think rain world is a beautiful game and i like doing it justice [as much as i can, anyway] when i write about it.

just consider how big the world is and how small you are as a slugcat. this world is not yours and yet it is. you've ended up here due to an incident during harsh rain. you're lost and you don't know what you're doing other than looking for home - and yet nothing is home. at least not in the same way as it was before. as the slugcat learns about this decaying world created by a now long-gone civilisation, one you can only learn about if you've seen the two biomechanical demigod constructs - and seen the city on top of one of them. the city you see as stargazer plays, just stinging you with a feeling of how alone and insignificant and small you are. the city in the distance looks so small, and yet it still looks and feels so much bigger than you and anything you've ever seen. and then you step out to the left, and then you see how vast the world is. there's so much more to it that you'll never see - so many more iterators standing there, in the far beyond, as the clouds slowly float by. if you pay attention you can see small green flashes underneath them behind the clouds. who are they? you don't know, and you never will, and you'll never know what's near them either, if there's more slugcats there, or even if there's creatures or even regions you'll see as familiar. the world is so vast and you are only so small in the grand scheme of.... everything.

and yet being there, in those moments, showing just how little you matter, and seeing them, are the only ways you'll ever be able to learn about that long-gone civilisation. you learn pebbles calls them the benefactors. he speaks of an older civilisation too, that he calls the ancients, that built temples beneath the ground and "danced their silly rituals". you will never know more about them, but you can learn small bits and pieces of what was once the benefactors. you even see the karma murals, as you go out of pebbles access shaft, showing just how important it was to the benefactors. you can find small little round shiny objects, that you can learn moon calls "memory construct pearls", through a single small line she'll say when you bring her nothing but a simple diamond sphere that's as useless as the carbon it's printed from. if you bring her pearls from the sunbaked lands with flora reaching beyond the clouds, you can learn once more about the other iterators. there's a conversation log between five pebbles, and seven red suns, someone we can assume he knows and is friends with. you learn he's angry. you learn he doesn't want to be a bug in a maze. you also learn nothing truly dies. there's another, that's just a small part of a larger conversation in a closed group called SliverOfOcean. you don't have the full context to this, but EP mentions someone called sliver of straw, and a triple affirmative. it sounds important, with how they're speaking about sliver, but you can't tell why. and then a third, giving you a little more context to the SliverOfOcean group - this time between five pebbles, chasing wind, big sis moon and no significant harassment. chasing wind mentions the pseudonym "Erratic Pulse" - if anything, it's more than clear this is the EP mentioning the triple affirmative and sliver of straw. you see how NSH jokes about gnawing through bedrock with their overseers, and you can see how moon worries about this. you learn there's something called sliverists, and someone that wants to "cross themself out". and then there's two more, one where moon says pebbles drastically increased his water intake - the iterators are behind the rains, it seems - and that he and moon share groundwater. it's dangerous for her. she has seniority privileges - further context other than forced communications is not anything you get. and she has no memory of writing this... and the last is her pleading for five pebbles to stop. he says she ruined everything. you don't get more context.

and then you're left wondering.... what was any of that about? you find a yellow pearl in the decaying body of moon, hidden in a little crevice, and you bring it to her for her to read. it's about sliver of straw. she's legendary among the iterators. a big problem, the triple affirmative... you're finally given context to the SliverOfOcean broadcast. "affirmative that a solution has been found, affirmative that the solution is portable, and affirmative that a technical implementation is possible and generally applicable"... whatever that may mean? sliver of straw is dead. it's extremely hard to kill an iterator. you learn more about how iterators split into factions regarding sliver of straw - and how moon thinks she should just be allowed to rest.

so you go searching for more pearls. none of them ever mention sliver of straw again, or the triple affirmative. but you learn about void fluid, the void sea, and how moon's creators' ancestors learned to use it to create energy, and that void fluid drills started a big technological leap. if you go down there, you don't return. then you find whats supposedly a small plate, which is a little text of spiritual guidance. there's a name tied to it. four cabinets, eleven hatchets... what an odd name. it's from before the void fluid revolution... does this relate to the big technological leap mentioned before, you wonder? regardless, it's how to starve yourself on herbal tea and gravel but disguised as a poem. you learn there were horror stories of leaving echoes behind when you jumped in a vat of void fluid, and how some would still starve and drink the bitter tea instead of taking the risk. you remember you saw one of these colored memory construct pearls on top of pebbles when you went there and saw the city in the background. it's still as breathtaking as it was the first time; you feel just as insignificant as you really are when you stand there. you bring the pearl to moon and you learn that five pebbles is "Gift of Charity from Us to The World (unable to reach Enlightenment by itself - being composed mostly of Rock, Gas, dull witted Bugs and Microbes - and towards which We thus have Obligations)".... whatever any of that means. enlightenment? odd. the slugcat doesn't really understand this, and neither do you, as the player.

... you saw a golden pearl on your way here when you got lost, you think. you go looking for it and bring it to moon, too, but not before getting bitten by a few lizards and hauled off by a few vultures, only just managing to kill the last vulture by pure luck as it tries to stop you in your tracks. it's illegal information, sent over pearl to avoid being overheard on broadcast... huh. it's something about circumventing the self-destruction taboo that iterators have, and how there's more, but the slugcat isn't told, and neither are you, but they're written into every cell of their organic parts. as she explains.... this feels like it relates to the breeding program mentioned a certain EP individual doing. hm.

you remember, a few times while being chased by leviathans and salamanders and nearly drowned by leeches, you've seen two pearls in shoreline and you go looking for them, bringing them to moon. the pink one has the genome for a purposed organism. you learn moon is one - but only a small fraction of one. you learn most of her is in the walls.... she is the walls? was it the same for pebbles? was that why he berated you for crashing through his memory conflux? most organisms barely even looked like creatures. she mentions primal fauna. what does she mean by that? you can guess she means creatures that weren't purposed. she mentions its highly likely you're a descendant of a purposed organism. then there's the purple pearl. you learn how water is vital to an iterator, otherwise slag will build up and they will painfully die. you learn that iterators haven't ever really seen a river, so the analogy of an iterator drinking a river is completely lost on them. water supply was important when placing iterators, until a great equalizer, the fact they breathe as much water out as they breathe in, where they could be placed almost freely. apparently building pebbles so close to moon was believed risky.... both of you can see that it was a good decision in hindsight, despite how little the slugcat, and you, know. hm. you remember a bright blue pearl somewhere in industrial complex and you go looking for it and bring it back to moon, but not after dying to lizards a few times. something about bone masks, and how they were used to abate the self, and then later used for self expression. something about radiating the material with holiness. this record of a mask factory is from Side House, on pebbles grounds. is that what industrial complex once was? the slugcat, and thus, you, the player too, will never really get an answer to this. but you can wonder. many old industrial-religious were reused and incorperated in iterator projects, so, it is possible...

...

just how much more is there, to this world...? this is nothing but a tiny piece of what is out there. and yet you feel like you've learned so much you'll never quite understand. and that's because the slugcat won't ever understand it, either, it's as clueless as you, the player, are. you're on the same line as it. you can guess and wonder as much as you want to, but you'll never learn about everything there once was. and that's the point. you'll never learn about everything and you can't because it's gone. you're not the main character to learn every little lore detail about this wonderous, new world, you're a slugcat doing it's best to survive in this unfamiliar ecosystem.

and i think that's rain world's beauty.

[some-pers0n]

Hey guys I rewrote the Arctic death scene again for like the fourth time. Wanna read it?

Two of the three moons were full that day, with the third, Oracle, but a sliver of light among a sea of stars. Their pale glow trickled down onto the stage where Darkstalker stood. While the shimmer of moonlight against his scales was notable, nothing could compare to the innate aura of fear and disgust radiating from the kneeling dragon before him.

Arctic hung his head. His talons were unmoving, bound by invisible shackles. His breath was laboured and anxious. 

Darkstalker grinned at the sight of his father cowering. It was enthralling beyond any sense of the word. To see him quivering like prey finally captured and waiting for the agony of death to come.

"How are you feeling, father?" he asked, a coy smirk still on his face.

Arctic's mouth tightened.

"Let's try that again." Darkstalker cleared his throat. "Tell me, father, how do you feel?" His voice was stern, commanding.

"Annoyed." The words spilled out of Arctic's mouth. "Bothered by how you have to make a big show."

"Oh, terribly sorry about that. Shame, really. You don't want to be forced into a position you never asked for? My, what a tragedy. I'm certain Foeslayer could relate to that had she been here."

"Darkstalker," Clearsight began, "I don't think you should bother him–"

"I don't see why I can't." He glanced back at her. "I was only asking how he was. Is that too much for a son to ask?"

"You're torturing him..."

"Torture?" He echoed. "That seems much. I'm trying to make one last conversation with him before the performance begins."

"You don't have to do this."

"But I must. You saw him! You saw what he did to Whiteout!" He gestured to his sister. "She would've been handed off to some low-life IceWing and erased of any personality. And for what? So he could see Foeslayer again? She hates him. Everyone hates him." His snout curled. "He's better off dead; I'm simply kind enough to let others join in on the fun of killing him."

Whiteout flinched. She moved closer to Clearsight, murmuring words that Darkstalker couldn't hear. Her mind was a swirling storm of muted grey-green with streaks of silver and ebony.

He sighed. "I understand that it seems barbaric, but I promise that this is necessary."

"Is it? Is it really?" Clearsight's voice was sharp.

His eyebrows furrowed. "Of course. You'll see soon enough, my beloved." He raised his talons to brush her snout, but she stepped away. Her eyes were wide. Her thoughts raced. She was afraid. Afraid of him.

Fine. She could be difficult. There will come a time when she realizes the error in her ways. How she was blinded by her belief that Arctic was still deserving of redemption and forgiveness. She never could truly understand the pain that dragon had put his family through. What Arctic had put him through.

He scoffed and turned back around. By the time he had his little conversation, a crowd had formed. The passing NightWing citizens stopped and stared. They were waiting for a performance to begin.

"My fellow NightWings," Darkstalker called out to the crowd. "Today, I bring forth a traitor to not only our own tribe, but his very own kingdom. Gather round, as I would not dare to look away. No, these next few moments will dictate the choices made thousands of years from now. Like a rock tossed into a river, the fate of this IceWing will ripple throughout history."

That got the attention of more dragons. Soon enough, the flow of shoppers stalled as more and more gathered around the stage.

"Isn't this exciting, Arctic?" he whispered. "Turns out there's more than a handful of dragons who care about you enough to watch you. More than I thought."

Arctic stayed silent.

"Be that way then." He hissed. He raised his head back to the crowd. "Lovely night, isn't it? Each and every one of you are a beautiful piece of this marvellous city. Come now, don't you agree? Look to your left, your right, up, down, all around! These are your peers. Friends, perhaps to some of you. A NightWing like yourself."

He paused. "Now, tell me, who is not a friend of a NightWing? A dragon that, despite potentially looking friendly and innocent, will do nothing to tear down both you and the kingdom we graciously live under."

He snickered. "One dragon I could say is this one right here." Darkstalker swept his tail at the talons of Arctic, knocking him down. "You might have seen him before. Arctic of the IceWings. the runaway prince. The reason why our tribe is locked in a vicious war against the IceWings. Because of his impulsive, rash, and selfish deeds, our NightWings are sent to battle—families broken because of him.

"We have tolerated his presence enough. Some of you might think he was reformed. I can't blame you. It's difficult to understand what happens behind closed doors. Though, tonight, he had betrayed the NightWings." He gestured to Arctic. "Why don't you tell us, IceWing?"

"Tell you what, exactly?"

"You know what you did."

"I did nothing! I was going home. I was not betraying my tribe– this isn't even my tribe!"

"Answer me!" Darkstalker roared. "Answer. Confess. What were you doing earlier this evening?"

Arctic's mouth contorted. "I was taking my daughter to Queen Diamond. A peace treaty. I would hand over my daughter's hand in marriage and reintroduce animus magic back into the tribe...and in return, I would be a prince again. I would live in the castle. I would eat, drink, and sleep like a normal dragon. I would find out if my love was still alive."

"She was never your love. You hated her and she hated you." Darkstalker snarled. "Besides, that was not all, wasn't it?"

His lips struggled to keep close, but the words poured out of him. "I planned to draw and hand over a detailed map of the Night Kingdom. It would be in exchange for Foeslayer's life had she survived. I would have given everything to see her okay again."

Mumbles from the crowd reached Darkstalker. Gasps and concerns, both about the performance and the confession. How could a dragon do such a thing? Why wasn't the IceWing flying away despite being unchained? What was going to happen next?

"I assure you, NightWings, that the traitor did not reach Queen Diamond before I had stopped him. They do not yet know our location. However, we are not fully safe until this stain on our glorious kingdom is dealt with." He spat.

"How could a dragon do such a thing?" he started. "He admitted that all as if it were nothing. As if the livelihoods of you, your friends and family, and this very kingdom were little more than a statistic. He even brainwashed one of our own, his very daughter, to comply with such a plan!" He shook his head. "This traitor is the worst dragon to ever live. Do you agree?"

A mixed response. Some argued and debated on the nature of his choice. Foolish. They couldn't understand the intricacies. Others questioned the nature of Darkstalker carrying this out. Should it be Queen Vigilance? Where is she?

But most agreed. Between nodded heads and shouts for death, they stood alongside Darkstalker. The NightWings had given this IceWing, one of the dragons whom they had been at war with for years, a home in their very own kingdom, and how does he repay? He lies. He backstabs. He cheats. He betrays.

Darkstalker couldn't help but bask in the feeling of grandeur. A crowd of dragons all repeated back the thoughts he had all these years. Arctic was unforgivable. He was a coward. He was a traitor. There was no excuse for him to live.

These NightWings were all on his side. Was this truly what it was like to be king? To be worshipped and hailed? To bring justice and peace? It was an intoxicating feeling that surged through his veins.

He held up his talons. "Silence, NightWings!" he commanded. With that, the audience quieted themselves. "Thank you. Now, I believe it is time we dealt with this dragon."

He turned to Arctic. His face was a dark grimace. 

"Oh, come now. Have a little more of a cheery smile. It's your big day." He chuckled. "Now, admit that I am the greatest animus of all time."

"You are–"

"No, no. Not a whisper. Admit to the world!" Darkstalker raised his wing to the crowd. "Speak, IceWing. Say that I am the greatest animus of all time."

"You are the greatest animus of all time," he choked out.

"Now tell them that there is no dragon more powerful than me. No army that can best me. No queen that can kill me. Nothing."

Arctic winced as he spoke. "There is no dragon more powerful than you. No army that can best you. No queen that can kill you."

The crowd became more worried in tone. Hushed words of skepticism and worry. This was an animus on stage, ordering around and playing with the IceWing. Darkstalker couldn't care. He was having fun. Let their fear fuel his power.

"Now..." Darkstalker lowered himself to Arctic. "Say that you wish you were a better father."

A shocked snort burst from Arctic's mouth, one that grew into a bemused and mocking laugh. He looked dead into Darkstalker's eyes. "If I had been a better father, I would've strangled you the moment you hatched."

The night was still. The crowd was dead silent. Even the breeze of the ocean had been snuffed out. An unbearable quiet as Darkstalker stared into Arctic. Into his very soul.

Arctic ruined it. He couldn't stand to watch his father sit there any longer, smug and having had the last laugh. No. Darkstalker needed to win.

"Rip out your tongue." His words were frosted over with hatred and malice.

Arctic's eyes widened as his talons moved involuntarily. He could see them shake and twitch. He could sense the panic and restraint, and yet nothing could stop him from grabbing his tongue and, with one firm tug, ripping it out.

Horror emanated from the crowd. They too were afraid. They feared him. No longer did they feel the same murderous zeal and fervour as him, but rather disgust and terror.

It was like bringing wood to a burning house.

Darkstalker leaned closer to his father. His eyes were transfixed on the blue mass of flesh flopped gracelessly on the stage, cyan blood dripping down his mouth. "Had your fun?"

His silence was not out of defiance. Arctic could not form a sentence.

"Good. Now, tear out your heart. Show the world who you truly are on the inside. Pour your life onto the stage. For all to see."

[drachonia]

𝐜 𝐡 𝐚 𝐢 𝐧 𝐬 .

Nika Schwarz x OC (Sigrid)

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: JEALOUS. SMUT. that is all. inspired by candiedcoffeedrops' ring jealousy fic.

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: oc x canon, established relationship, jealousy smut, good grief someone stop drac from writing.

It wasn’t often Nika got the chance to go parties, unless Darius procured an invitation for a mission. Ring trotted alongside him, a tad less confident in stride but just as imposing if not more so. Two pairs of lake blue eyes scanned the room for familiar faces.

“Ah! There you are!” The elder of the twins felt his cheeks flush slightly as he saw their host’s familiar figure. Her eyes narrows happily as she approached, a teasing smile on painted lips, “How are my favorite boys?” She chuckled as Ring turned at least five different shades of red as he tried his best to smile. Nika put on a bright smile, “Looking lovely as ever tonight, rotkehlchen.” He gently lifted her hand and laced it with his, watching her expression shift into a playful smile as she gently withdrew her hand, opening her mouth to say something as a retort when the quintet and pianist started to play a gentle waltz, drawing the crowd’s attention. Before Nika could turn back and ask her to dance, the woman had gently grasped his brother’s hands.

“Ring, do you mind showing me your progress with the waltz? I heard you’ve been practicing.”

Nika’s chest constricted as Ring nodded tentatively, that slight flush of embarrassment still present on his cheeks. The younger twin followed her to the middle of the floor as the elder crossed his arms, eyes growing unusually intense as they flickered after the pair, watching for as long as the song played. He resisted the urge to simply weave through the crowd and nudge his Ring out of the way.

He wanted his hands off her hips. His eyes anywhere but hers. Thoughts anywhere but her, and that blush wiped straight off his face. Nika had felt mild resentment for his found family from time to time, but this was different. The itching anger that clawed at the back of his head wasn’t leaving right away. In fact it wasn’t until the song ended and the elder Schwartz twin strode briskly over to the pair, a ringed hand seizing his lover’s hip and making sure to give it a possessive squeeze, “Mind if I steal my lover for a bit, little brother?” He smiled, but his eyes were much more cold than Ring was used to, to the point the younger relented, sighing in relief as Nika looked at Sigrid and smiled despite her scowl.

“You’re being rude…N-Nika!” She growled as he steered her from the center of the ballroom floor, his grip still rough on her hip as it slid further down her side and behind her as he led her out of the hall, almost instantly pinning her to the wall, “You’re very insistent when it comes to me, but I bet you’d let Ring get away with murder…” his eyes were downcast as he stroked her hips, gently nudging a knee between her thighs through the fabric of her skirt, earning a startled gasp from her as she huffed up at him, frowning but pulling him down by his vest for a kiss. Her soft lips lingered on his as he deepened the embrace, fingers squeezing wherever he could, tugging her closer still as his tongue pushed into her mouth with no resistance, eyes drifting open slightly to peer at her as he pulled back.

“You’re lucky I love you.”

“Ja? And why is that, darling?”

“Because if anyone else did this to me, especially in the middle of a party, they’d get a swift kick to the groin.”

He chuckled, “Happy that my lover is so merciful, then.” Nika breathed against her lips, kissing her once more and letting her take over as he hoisted her up in his arms, feeling the coolness of her skin against his fingertips while he carried her to one of the guest rooms. Nudging the door shut Nika fumbled with the lock before striding over and gently laying Sig on the bed, tugging her lace apart rather roughly, at least by his standards.

He watched her breasts spill out as he yanked down her dress in front, squeezing one readily as the other hand shoved the rest of the layers down her hips with urgency, quickly ridding her of her clothing as he rendered her speechless with his hand and tongue on her chest.

“Now, I’m going to make sure my lover gets pampered tonight, but first I’m going to have to make sure you understand something very, very well…” he leaned into her as she caught her breath, likely tired not just from dancing but also from the heavy kisses he’d given her. His heart melted slightly, but he kept the teasing smirk on his face as he sat up to loosen his belt. The sound of metal clinking against the floor echoed in the quiet room, only covered by the muffled noise of music from the hall. Nika hummed as he stroked his thumb over the swell of her breast, rubbing it over one nipple as she stifled a whine, “That’s it.” He purred as he pressed against her side, gently rubbing his other thumb against her folds and urging a ringed index finger into her, relishing in the strangled cry of pleasure it earned him, “Mn, listen to that.” he purred in her ear, resting next to her as she reached down to run a hand over Nika’s hip to her side, wrapping around his shaft and making his breath hitch as he locked eyes with her.

“You’re evil.” He growled, kissing her lips lightly.

“No more evil than you, très chère.” She hummed, gently stroking him with a soft palm, “Now keep going if you’re taking the lead tonight or I just might steal the opportunity from you.”

As if that affected his decision, Nika nuzzled her shoulder and pulled her closer, working his finger into her wet folds gradually, enjoying the way she moaned much louder than when he took off the accessories that adorned his long fingers. It wasn’t something Sigrid mentioned much when he touched her, but the fact she had kept him from removing them by holding his hands silently had given the hint plenty.

“Hm, you’re awfully wet, aren’t you? I can’t wait to find more wonderfully naughty things with you.” His voice came out rough and gravelly with arousal as her hand continued to twist and pump him while he urged a second finger in, curling them both as he hit that delightful spot that made her curl her toes, soak his rings and squeal his name when he hit it with the tips of his fingers.

“N-Nika…! Merde! Y-You ass…” she groaned as his fingers moved in and out with a loud, wet, almost clicking sound. He hummed and kissed her ear, pulling his fingers out rather suddenly as her chest heaved from the stimulation, glaring weakly at him, “What the hell has gotten into you today?” His eyes darkened at the question, crawling over her and grasping the base of his shaft as he sat up, “I was kind enough to get you ready for me, and you still can’t think of it? Well, I can’t have you thinking of him during it.”

Sigrid’s eyes widened in recognition as she grasped the meaning of what he said, “Are you jealous o—!!” Her voice was muffled by lips on hers as he sheathed himself inside her warmth, breathing hard and kissing her breathless as he started a rough but intense pace, pulling back to look at her once he knew she was done trying to bring it up. Her fingers gripped the pillow behind her head, her soft curves bouncing with each move of his hips as hands squeezed her chest and moved her along the length of him, “Mmf, it’s like silk.” He whispered in her ear, skin hitting skin rather loudly as her low moans grew louder, hands starting to fist in the sheets over her pillow as she tilted her head back, “I love how I fuck you.” His voice came out like a hungry snarl, diving back down to kiss her before giving a few more harsh thrusts inside and gasping when her legs locked around his back at the base of his spine, “I-Inside.” She choked out, sending him over the edge with that word as he filled her with warmth, clutching her body to his as she followed, her body slightly warm with sweat as he held her up against him in bed.

Flopping on his side with her gently as he pulled out, Nika felt the embarrassment and guilt start to creep in. Usually it wasn’t an issue for him but…

“Penny for your thoughts?”

“Was?”

“It means ‘do you mind sharing your thoughts with me?’” Sigrid reached up and tucked the long lock of hair on one side of his wavy fringe behind his ear, careful and tender, “You usually aren’t this rough with me. Not that I mind, it’s quite cute.” She hummed, smiling gently at him, “But I want to know, was it because I danced with Ring?”

He sighed in frustration, “It’s childish isn’t it? I’m angry about not getting to have a first with you.” Nika closed his eyes with a bitter laugh, resting on one arm, “Pathetic, isn’t it?”

Just then, bright lake blues flicked back open at a light flick on his forehead, looking down to see his lover pouting at him, “Nika Schwartz. Nothing could make me think less of you. If anything could, I wouldn’t be here, foolish man.” She sighed, “As I said, I’d let no one else remotely near me the same way you’ve been. Do you hear me?” She cupped his cheeks with both hands, Nika’s eyes still adorably wide.

“Oh.” His voice grew quiet as his cheeks started to flush a soft pink, resting his head on her shoulder and pulling her closer as he nuzzled happily into her neck.

“Hey! Quit hiding!”

Nika ignored her complaint for now, tugging a warm blanket over their bodies until their stamina recovered a bit to get dressed and make the trek to find Ring and go home.

Until then, he’d enjoy the quiet warmth of knowing that her love was only his.

lace headers by saradika.

[lavenoon]

Kindled Spirits AU

Soulmate AU revamped with a Y/N <3

Basics: Soulmate bonds are 1) not necessarily romantic, 2) not a given and not always between just 2 people, 3) not necessarily reciprocal (rare, but happens) Basically soulmates are bonded via dreams - meeting within dreams, or dreaming of each other’s memories, anything in dreams is fair game Plays a year after the pizzaplex fire and given that I had the idea a good while ago none of the dlc is included in the premise, also bc this is based on an old self insert fic Y/N is extremely audhd because that I refuse to take out

Y/N has spent most of their life assuming they don’t have a soulmate, which is a relief because they’re plagued by nightmares/ stress dreams a lot. They got used to those, and when some other hazy dreams crop up later in life they don’t think much of it.

Then one night they dream of burning. An indoor playground, they stand in the middle of it, filled with hopelessness and self hatred they cant explain (the irony of Sun burning to death). They don’t feel alone though, and though they can’t see anyone else, they know someone else is there. It's both a comfort as well as agonizing, and the care for that other person is evident, despite the whole emotional cocktail. They go through the entire dream incapable of changing anything, and then wake up still feeling hot but also cold and clammy, phantom flames still licking at their skin. All while they cope with the idea that maybe they did have a soulmate, and that is now past tense.

For an entire year they go around thinking they witnessed their soulmate(s?) burning to death via dream, not telling anyone about it but carrying that guilt.

They move, and find a new job - the Pizzaplex is hiring! No one wants to be a security guard anymore after all that weird shit a year ago, so even though Y/N lacks the qualifications, they get hired. Rotating shifts, day (morning/ afternoon) and night. The first time they walk past the daycare, it flashes into flame - but no, that’s just coincidence. It’s the first indoor playground they’ve seen since then, it’s hazy dream memories worsened by guilt, it’s not the same.

Y/N befriends the daycare attendant, and the naptime attendant - they talk to Sun sometimes through the slide, and Moon usually bothers them on their security rounds. They do meet Sun first, after trying to be helpful throwing down some stray ballpit balls down the slide, and a curious Sun crawls up just to get a ball to the face. Y/N feels very bad about that, and given their lack of scripts for how to interact with animatronics, they just fall back on the scripts they already have. Sun doesn't seem to mind, so it's all good! Then one night they shout a belated "Good night!" down the slide, after the lights in the daycare have turned off, and barely avoid falling when suddenly Moon stands behind them, asking them just what they're doing. He makes his dislike of their flashlight promptly known, and then they have a menace of a shadow for their rounds.

That goes on for a couple weeks, until Sun asks them inside of the daycare to address a few concerns they could please relay to management?

And then the perspective is just undeniable. Y/N gets caught in the flashback, seeing it all burn again, and Sun startles them out of it. They don’t tell him. They can’t. But they realize that he’s been forced to work in a direct replica of the place where he burned to (temporary) death.

After that they keep trying to broach the topic of soulmates in general, but Sun and Moon are very much convinced that as animatronics they are not people, and they can’t dream anyway, so how would they have a soulmate? So silly!

Dreams and personhood are very connected in this AU - with dreams linking souls society just assumes that anyone without dreams is not a person. (Is this a societal issue for other humans who don't dream? Sure! People are people and will exclude others for any reason!)

Meanwhile Y/N starts having more dreams - they assume because now they live closer, actually met their soulmates, there’s less of a barrier to only have the super traumatic stuff make it into their dreams. In fact, they are kind of relieved that their usual nightmares are exchanged for extremely mundane “watching kids play in the daycare” or watching themself being bothered by Moon from his POV.

It’s a struggle trying to convince their soulmates that they are in fact people, while wondering if the bond is reciprocated because how would they tell? Sun and Moon can’t dream, there’s no confirmation that Y/N is their soulmate too! Lots of fear of rejection that’s holding them back here

But also some shenanigans at this time, like Y/N knowing that Moon follows them on their routes, and calling him out on it when he tries to stay hidden. He asks how they knew, and they bluntly reply “it came to me in a dream”. Moon laughs, then asks for the truth that they don’t know how to give after he rejects it so easily. They end up deflecting and he goes back to being a menace.

Also Y/N being somewhat anxious once they realize that Sun uses "friend" for many people (whenever they do see him interact with adults, which isn't often) and awkwardly ask for confirmation because oh no what if he's just being polite and they read too much into it? They almost regret it when he proves that Moon isn't the only menace and makes sure they know he considers them their friend after! Moon continues being a cat in his affections, so when Y/N asks him the same he ends up positively surprised, somewhat guilty (due to the secrets he keeps, and the danger he still believes he poses), but mostly ramps up the friendly annoying to the max

And then Y/N ends up impulsively telling Moon. He wants them to be joking - asks them to, even, to take it all back. When they refuse he reacts more in anger and accuses them of deluding themself, suggesting they need medical attention. They get angry then, too, because is he really telling them to go to a doctor after they confess something like this? It ends badly, with Y/N fleeing the scene and then avoiding both Moon and Sun for a good while.

Until Sun requests their presence about a “security issue” in the closed daycare, and Y/N goes even knowing he’ll want to talk. He’s concerned more than angry, but disbelieving all the same. Y/N’s patience is running thin when Sun, desperately, asks them just what they were dreaming about to be so convinced - what made them think they're linked to an animatronic like that? - so they tell him about the fire. They also tell him that they were telling the truth that one time with Moon. Sun (and Moon) get their own flashback, and Y/N ends up frantic, apologizing for bringing it up like that, while the boys are just terrified that

1) Y/N had to see that, experience it via dream

and 2) just what else could they have seen?

Moon in particular is terrified - he approaches them a bit later, asking about other dreams they might’ve had. Even says “they would have been nightmares”. He assumes that Y/N must have witnessed the virus induced murders and has no idea how to assure them that he’s not that, after he reacted in so much anger at their initial confession. His concern doesn’t really lessen, and more shifts upon being told that “I wouldn’t know, all my dreams are nightmares anyway”.

Mostly themed around growing closer after that, and working around “we don’t need to dream of you to know we like you, and we do!” as well as uncovering the past trauma Sun and Moon have gone through (and are going through, still trapped in the same building in a replica of where they burned).

Also Sun and Moon struggling to accept their personhood because if they’re people, then they are traumatized and were (and are being) mistreated for a long time, and that’s also hard to come to terms with. Some thoughts towards animatronic emancipation though I never got that far in the fic, so mostly comfort and slice of life as they work around the little bump in the road of their soulmate bond. Y/N opening up about their own dreams, and why it's so difficult to say they had any nightmares based on Sun and Moon's experience before the literal death experience not just breaking the ice but rather melting it at record speed

Would remain platonic/ ambiguous because it was very important to me that soulmates aren't necessarily romantic, and they all have bigger fish to fry than whether or not they'd like to go on dates - given that that's hardly an option while Sun and Moon cannot leave the Plex. The reassurance and relationship beyond the bond actually is the most important part, with Y/N admitting to both Sun and Moon and also themself that they enjoy having them as soulmates, of course! But they'd be friends with or without those dreams, given that Y/N initially approached them both before they even realized. Which is also a relief, because Sun and Moon do feel bad over not being able to confirm that it's reciprocated - they feel like it is, they want it to be (and isn't that the most important part?)! But they don't know. And that's okay - because they found each other, dreams or not, and they won't lose that <3

This is as much as I have right now, and as much as it'll stay for the time being! Enjoy <3

[anderscim]

✦ another (even wilder) theory with bagel

similar to my teruko theory, this one also has a lot of room for rebuttal. to be honest, a lot of the evidence i have for this is quite flimsy (_ _;)

this theory is mainly about mai akasaki’s connection to the cast, and how it relates to the killing game in general.

take this with a grain of salt as always

//spoilers for up to chapter 2 part 1 of drdt

//additional spoilers for bonus content, such as the bonus episodes and the new “literature girl insane” MV

there shouldn’t be any tally5 spoilers if i’m not wrong ( ・∇・)

here’s one question i have for you all: how many members in the cast, right now, actually know mai akasaki?

it’s definitely implied in the bonus episodes and the quotes on her character page that she’s connected with everyone in the current cast, but there was a paradox i noticed—if it even is one, that is (-.-;)—that led me to think that this question…may actually be a lot more complicated than it seems.

let’s bring up the bonus episodes first. min’s bonus episode is definitely during their time at hope’s peak. they’re literally at the school, studying about it, discussing min’s “role” as an ultimate compared to the other students, etc. basically, many details point to min and “unnamed classmate” (who is presumably mai, based on the flowers in the dialogue box of the bonus episodes matching up with those on mai’s tattoo) being students of hope’s peak academy in the united states. though there’s no physical evidence or exact basis for this, i would personally like to think that xander’s bonus episode is placed during spring break at the academy. he is talking to his “classmate,” after all—and in that case, it would also chronologically line up with min’s (whose bonus episode takes place a week before spring break).

presumably, the other bonus episodes will follow a similar pattern, and we will see mai/UC talking to other members of the DRDT cast to get to know them more. i will assume this means that the whole cast, not just min and xander, have been to hope’s peak before—and attended class as students there. after all, it would be the only way the bonus episodes would make sense.

however, the dialogue from the first few episodes of the series suggests something else.

as implied from the dialogue, all of the students believe they are only entering the entrance ceremony of hope’s peak as freshmen, and had no previous affiliation with the school. including xander.

obviously, this means that at the very least, their memories have been tampered with to remove anything regarding their experience at hope’s peak academy.

— sorry, very quick side tangent (*'▽'*) going by this theory, if the drdt cast genuinely went to hope’s peak, it’s very likely that they had to do a bunch of paperwork and submit a lot of information for their enrollment—which probably includes medical information and any accommodations that were necessary for their well-being. additionally, if we assume that the cast attended hope’s peak for a year or a few years, it’s likely that whoever the mastermind is, they had the time to know the rest of their classmates well enough to be able to identify their preferences either way, this would actually be a pretty strong explanation as to why many components of their environment seem to be extremely fine-tuned to their preferences and necessities, despite no recollection of sharing that information with anyone involved in the killing game. though i bet this was already obvious, i felt like it was something i probably should bring up.

—

in that case, however—how would it affect their memories with mai?

as i can’t exactly speculate for the other students, i’m going to trace back to what i know. at the very least, it seems to be implied that min only met mai after being admitted into hope’s peak academy. min essentially drove her entire life around schoolwork, and studying for the “ultimate contest for eminent students,” the test that allowed min to receive her title—it’s likely that before then, she never surrounded herself with friends nor had any time for herself to explore her own hobbies. which probably means that she wasn’t acquainted with mai before enrolling into hope’s peak.

her backstory is really sad, by the way. i really wish she lived longer ( ´△｀)

as for when it comes to the other characters, i would like to remind you that hope’s peak scouts across the country for their students—so it’s more logical to assume that many of them resided in hometowns that were very far away from each other. so unless mai’s talent was the ultimate traveler or something, i think it would be very improbable for her to know everyone in the cast before their admittance into hope’s peak.

taking this into account, and assuming that the cast’s memories of hope’s peak were completely erased, there’s a possibility that the cast doesn’t remember mai akasaki, despite her connections with them. the only exception would be teruko, who clearly remembers mai—and seems to have been helped by her when enrolling into the academy in the first place, pointed out by this theory here by @laly-481.

…or at least, that’s what i thought at first—until someone decided to kick in the door while holding a new music video.

i guess in that case, the biggest question i should answer is this—why does david remember mai?

getting into very, very wild theory territory here. take what i’m about to say with a grain of salt assuming that the music video is really a reflection of david’s worldview and thought process, please ignore the fact that i’m acting like the antithesis of occam’s razor right now, then there’s no reason for mai akasaki to be featured in the video—much less have a photo of her placed in a wooden frame—if he didn’t remember her.

yet, there she is, on the right:

she even has a little description about how she was “someone dearly loved,” which fits perfectly with her character and the secret quotes on her profile page.

this is indicative of the fact that david remembers mai—and knows her well enough to even make an accurate statement about her. but, how?

obviously there’s the simpler explanation of “david knew mai before they went to hope’s peak,” which is of course a totally valid explanation—however, some details about the new music video made me consider a possible, different theory.

a grain of salt? more like, a mountain of salt from here on out

when i was watching the “literature girl insane” music video earlier, i noticed something interesting about this frame: 

here, xander doesn’t have his eyepatch. though i’m not throwing away the possibility that this was just a technical error on the artist’s side—personally, this could be a indication that david knew xander before the killing game. 

seeing as all of the cast are connected by the unnamed “classmate,” after all, it’s a likely possibility that the current participants of the killing game were originally in the same class at hope’s peak academy. which means, they all probably knew each other before this whole killing game went down. 

in an earlier theory, i talked about how xander may have been the person in the opening prologue cutscene, and how he probably had his eye injured at that time. given that the person speaking during that scene is aware of the killing game (and is expressing their desire to end it), this event likely happened right before the killing game started—otherwise, it would be pretty imprudent for the mastermind to announce it and then wait for an entire month to set up everything, then make everyone fall unconscious, then remove their memories, etc. 

what i’m trying to get here is that the cast, had they still retained their memories from hope’s peak, would definitely remember xander with both eyes. however, we know this to not be the case—from his introduction, we all see that xander had already lost his right eye from the beginning of the killing game. therefore, for david to remember xander from before he got his eye injury, he must’ve had at least some partial memory of hope’s peak—otherwise, it would be highly unlikely. this would give a possible explanation as to why the frame of xander without his eyepatch appears in the “literature girl insane” music video. and maybe give a possible explanation as to why david cared about xander despite only knowing him for ~three days. and defended him passionately during the first trial even after a lot of evidence pointed to him attacking teruko.

this also would explain why david remembers mai—assuming they were in the same class, since mai likely had incredibly close connections with the cast (including david), it’s more than likely that david cared about mai and possibly (vaguely) remembered her even after having his memories tampered with.

well, the “no-eyepatch” deduction completely hinges on the assumption that xander didn’t like, take off his eyepatch in front of david like he did with teruko, so i may be completely wrong about this. however, it is interesting that such a small detail was included in the mv.

so is this one:

i don’t know how it is for you guys, but that fork seems suspiciously similar to the fork in the prologue (which i theorized to be the item that caused the injury to xander’s right eye). additionally, the fork literally stabbing the “face” of the clock is… quite symbolic. it may be just me. i’m not sure. (-_-;) though, it could suggest that david remembers that scene—and perhaps knows about the “possible escape” of killing teruko? i highly doubt he was the one who wrote the note (rather i think that was xander himself), but it may account for that 2nd vote for teruko in the first trial.

my personal (unhinged) theory (with really no way to back it up) is that david may have retained partial memories of his experience at hope’s peak—but probably only a little, definitely not all of them. this may explain why he remembers mai and seems to recall xander before his eye injury (despite xander seemingly not remembering that they’ve met before)—but hasn’t called out the true mastermind nor seems to remember an escape yet. also, though his current behavior in the 2nd trial may imply that he’s trying to end the killing game early via wrong vote, i personally think he’s just breaking down and acting suicidal without that objective in mind, based on his actions.

little side note at the end: it would be absolutely amazing (and ironic) if the two people with the most distant character relationships with the rest of the cast (as of now) happened to remember the single person that had the closest relationships to all of them.

minor clarification/add-on: i just realized that i never said this, really sorry about that. m(_ _)m but basically, i don’t think david has any sort of clear memories regarding xander and mai at hope’s peak—rather, when i say “partial memories” i meant more along the lines of “vague nostalgia you can’t quite place.” he might somewhat recognize their faces at most, but likely not any clear sequences of events. and honestly, what i wanted to talk about more in regards to this theory is more about the fact that only teruko (and maybe david) remember mai in the first place—the rest of the cast probably can’t, with the way their memories were wiped.

uh, this was quite the ride. i truly felt like the antithesis of occam’s razor as i was writing this

however—this theory likely has a lot of points that can be argued against, as well as many other possibilities i didn’t consider. please, don’t be afraid to drop them in your reblogs or comments, i would love to read them!

and as always, take this with a (larger than usual) grain of salt

[syn4k]

having a really normal evening in q's chapter draft can you tell

[kyouka-supremacy]

that happened to me 😭 had like fifteen bullet points i was gonna expand on, then when it hit 2k, i just answered with "sskk is the focus"

RIGHT????? LIKE, SAME.

Reasons why I like Beast: the compelling alternative universe concept, the intriguing story, the fantastic characters writing, the siblings relationships, the beautiful designs and gorgeus manga art style, the thought stimulating subjects,

Equally real and valid reasons why I like Beast: it's a sskk story.

[alectoperdita]

1.7k words later, Jou is finally starting to blow Seto

[pitconfirm]

iwill finish editing this scenetoday iwill finsihish editing thisscene today i will finisheditiing this scenet oday

[gojuo]

Are you the strongest because you are gojo satoru or are you gojo saturo because you are the strongest? I never understood why geto said that to gojo, can you explain to me? Did he want to give gojo a reality check?

Actually, he wanted to give Gojo an identity crisis lmao. In other words, what Geto's saying is that: Are you you? ("Are you the strongest because you are Gojo Satoru?") Or are you letting your strength define your sense of self? ("Are you Gojo Satoru because you are the strongest?").

In that moment, Geto was completely defeated/resigned/pessimistic (I can't find the right word arghggg) because he realized that what he wanted to achieve, he never could. But Gojo totally could because in the year between Riko's death and that moment, he had surpassed anyone and everything, and had become — for a lack of a better term — an untouchable god (Infinity automatically on at all times; RCT & RCT: Red; Hollow Purple; Domain Expansion mastered; in the process of mastering brain healing 24/7; etc.).

What Toji did to Gojo was turn him from The Strongest to Stronger Than The Strongest (omgggg romance <3 Tojigo agenda never ends). Essentially, Gojo had become far stronger than Geto, a fellow Special Grade and part of "The Strongest Duo", was and had risen up to be in a league completely on his own. This event in his life + Geto going rogue gave way to the worsening of Gojo's identity crisis.

That identity crisis I'm talking about is Gojo's lifelong status as "The Strongest" and his role in Jujutsu Society from the second he was born.

"The curses' increasing strength... At that moment, I understood the reason why! It's because of him! It's because of Satoru Gojo!! It's like when a seemingly unbeatable track-and-field record gets broken! Or when figure skaters suddenly have to add more spins to their jumps due to a single athlete's prowess!! When Satoru Gojo was born... the balance of the world was altered!"

From the second Gojo was born, he was not allowed to be Gojo Satoru (himself; "Are you the strongest because you are Gojo Satoru?"). He was pushed into a role by his birth family, his clan, other clans, and the entirety of Jujutsu society. Gojo was never just Satoru, the child, or Satoru, the person. From birth on, he was the Six Eyes, the Limitless ("Are you Gojo Satoru because you are the strongest?"). The bounty on his head was already over a hundred thousand before he turned 10 years old.

When Satoru Gojo was born, the balance of the world was altered.

This meant that he was raised as The Strongest, a role not only pushed onto him by the society and family he was born into, but by fate itself (the Tengen affair — remember that the Six Eyes is connected to Tengen and the Star Plasma Vessels through fate. A fate broken by the only one who lives outside of it: Toji Zen'in the man with absolutely no cursed energy at all. TOJIGO AGENDA NEVER ENDS GRAAAAAAAHHH)

Being raised as a thing instead of a person would lead any child to an identity crisis. He says it himself in ch. 236

He feels like nobody truly understands him, because there is nobody on his level of being. Nobody can stand beside him because of the disparity in strength between him and everybody else. He feels like he can't ever let anybody inside. He feels this way because Gojo defines his own sense of self — his identity and his own existence — through the strength he holds ("Are you Gojo Satoru because you are the strongest?"). Because he was raised to think like that. Because he was pushed into the role of "The Strongest" by fate, his family, all of society before he was able to define himself as just himself.

Gojo going to Jujutsu High in his teens would have been the first time he actually spent meaningful time with people who live outside of rigid clan society and culture. Geto, Shoko, Nanami and Haibara, none of them are from clans, so none of them would have treated him as if he were the Six Eyes and the Limitless first, human second. They would have treated him as just Gojo Satoru, their classmate in high school. Like a normal person. His belief system would have been challenged for the first time since his identity wouldn't be characterized by how strong he is, by his role as The Strongest in Jujutsu society. He'd just be another kid to his classmates.

Now that doesn't mean that his issues with his identity and Jujutsu society's dogma he was force-fed since birth were all fixed and everything was dandy, it just means that that line from Geto and his betrayal worsened what was already there and continuously reinforced and reaffirmed by Jujutsu society's penchant in making him a pariah (Nanami participated in this after Haibara's death btw, "Can't we just leave everything to him from now on?").

Are you the strongest because you're Gojo Satoru? Or are you Gojo Satoru because you're the strongest?

Geto asked this because he was angry at the world, defeated by it, and hurt by what Gojo had just said to him.

Because the thing is... Gojo is totally capable of killing all of humanity and creating a world only made up of only sorcerers. Gojo is The Strongest. Far stronger than Geto is. In the year between Riko's death and this moment, Gojo had far surpassed Geto in strength. The Strongest Duo — something that was a double-edged sword since it reaffirmed Gojo's belief that the measure of one's strength and prowess defines one's sense of identity BECAUSE there is now another Special Grade that is as strong as him, on the same level as him, therefore feeding into his confirmation bias — was no more. Gojo achieved enlightenment, Geto did not. Therefore, he was upset by Gojo saying that Geto wanting to create a world with only sorcerers was meaningless and impossible. And so Geto hit him where it hurt: Are you Gojo Satoru? Or are you just the role assigned to you?

Are you the strongest because you're Gojo Satoru? Are you your own person?

Or are you Gojo Satoru because you're the strongest? Or are you just a thing? A thing called The Strongest?

The second Gojo was born, he was dehumanized. Not just by his family, not just by Jujutsu society, but by the world itself. He was born into a world that adjudged him to be a thing — in his own words: an adored flower standing far above humanity and therefore untouchable in every sense of the way — not a person, an actual human being with his own identity. His time in high school, where he lived and existed outside of the confines of clan culture for a short period of time, was probably the first time in his life where he felt human. There were kids his age who weren't raised in clans, who weren't fed Jujutsu dogma from the second they started breathing, who didn't know him as The Strongest. He was just a fellow kid. And there was Geto, who was a Special Grade just like him, someone that Gojo would have categorized to be the same as him and who he would have projected his uncertainty about his own identity onto as well (because of his confirmation bias).

And then Toji comes along and changes his life forever. It's so ironic (and also the biggest reason why I love this ship so much), the one and only person who lives outside of the confines of fate (zero cursed energy) destroys and redefines the one person who came into existence precisely because of said fate (the Six Eyes is born because fate calls for them to be born in order to help Tengen with the merger). Gojo dies and comes back to life enlightened. All because "a monkey who couldn't even use Jujutsu" killed him. The poetry of it all, my god....

Okay anyways I'm getting distracted (Tojigo agenda never ends) what I'm trying to say is that Geto went through a complete different experience than Gojo did, and got left behind basically. While Gojo grew stronger and stronger (not necessarily a good thing for him), Geto went off the deep end and stayed stagnant on the powerscale.

This happening to Geto leads to his betrayal + him asking that question which in turn led to the worsening of Gojo's identity crisis. Because Gojo chose to define himself through the strength he holds and not through being his own person. And that belief only got reaffirmed more and more because Gojo truly became untouchable, truly reached enlightenment and lived on a plane not a single person could reach, not even the other person who was also called "The Strongest". So when Geto asked him, "Are you the strongest because you're Gojo Satoru? Or are you Gojo Satoru because you're the strongest?" he's asking, who are you really? Are you a person who happens to be the Strongest also? Or are you The Strongest, and nothing else?

Gojo, throughout his entire life up until that point, was raised to be and treated by everyone as the latter. During high school and his time together with another "The Strongest" around, he found a taste of humanity within his own self. Geto then goes rogue and asks this question, and Gojo decides that yes indeed, he is the latter. He validates his own dehumanization through making that choice.

And what's awful about this is that, he didn't need to do allat. He didn't need to isolate himself, he didn't need to decide that no one would or could understand him, nor did he need to resign himself to the role of "adored flower" that was pushed onto him since birth. Why? Well, Shoko says it best here in ch. 220:

Gojo made the choice to let his sense of self be defined by his status as The Strongest ("Or are you Gojo Satoru because you're the strongest?"), when that shit wasn't needed at all. But as a child, when all the people that surround you, the people who gave birth to you, the people who raised you all parrot the same shitty idea that he is The Strongest The Strongest the strongest the strongestthestrongestthestrongestthestrongestthestrongest, and then that kid escapes to high school where he has a few years of being allowed to be a normal teenager and then his BFF decides to become Jujutsu Hitler and throw that The Strongest crap back into his face right where it hurts? Well, what did anyone expect? It's just fucking sad.

And that's also the reason why I hated his death and the conclusion to his character, because Gojo dying without ever getting over being "The Strongest" while he was alive means that his character stayed stagnant throughout the entire story. And I cannot explain to you enough how much I hate that. But that's a topic for another time, so I'm ending this analysis that got way longer than I intended here. I hope this helped you understand that scene better ♥

[spoondrifts]

starting to get really frustrated with this writer's block bullshit

[sunshineneedsaplacetokeephernsfw]

I don't know if I can finish the Halloween special fic on time...

[invinciblerodent]

oh no

oh no this is so bloody adorable