When I was 15, my friends and I wanted to jig class, so I decided it would be fun to attend a counselling session. I can recall sitting directly across my school counsellor as she asked me monotonous questions. The one that stood out to me the most was when she asked “can you tell me about your childhood?” I remember staring at the floor for what felt like 20 mins before finally realising that there wasn’t much I could recall. I knew the address of my childhood home. I knew the school that I attended. I knew the members of my family and where they all lived. I knew the basic details of my life, but I, for the life of me, could not fill in the blanks. I was shaken to my core when I left that room, and whether it was out of fear or denial, I decided that I wasn’t ready to face that part of me, and that I wouldn’t go back.
Sometimes I’m reminded of that moment whenever someone says “do you remember when…” before referring to a childhood memory that I may not recall, but I’ve slowly been able to piece them back together. There’s been a looooot of healing since that day, but it’s kind of like a game for me at this point. Moral of the story is: we can’t change the past, shiet we can’t change the future either, but we can make peace with it and ourselves (or turn it into a game lol) and make changes for the better.
“I thought you liked Smith. Enough that you almost threw Matt across the court when he accidentally elbowed the kid.” Wymack sounds exasperated and tired. “He’s alive?”
“He’s alive. We’re at the hospital.”
“Admit to nothing, I’m on my way.” Wymack hangs up with a click before Andrew can get Smith’s first name.
Andrew doesn’t quite like being on this end of that move if he’s going to be honest.
“I can’t believe we still don’t know what Smith’s first name is.” Neil’s face is buried in his hands as he and Andrew sit in the uncomfortable chairs of the reception area.
Fig: Hah! - Nobody ever expects an Archdevil rockstar to be nice.
Riz: … yeah. - 's just budget work tho. (the stuff I'm working on) - I've heard it's boring.
page 05
Fig: yeah, but you do it…
Riz: It keeps things going, right? - Nothing happens if nobody sits down and - does the thing.
Fig: That's right… - though. Yeah.
page 06
Fig: sometimes it's someone else who - doesn't want the same thing to happen.
Riz: … - mm.
page 07
Riz (off screen): …It took me a long time to get that not everyone likes doing what I do. - 's probably because you guys are so nice– - or. - kind.
Riz (off screen): to anyone too, not just. - the people you /love/.
page 08
Riz: that's not how it is elsewhere. - The world's– not. hostile. - but 's not like it's kind.
Riz: So I'm doing as much as I can now…
page 09
Fig: Hey.
Riz: ?
Fig: Go dig some dirt with me.
page 10
Riz: [blank speech bubble] - oh you meant like - actual dirt. (not incriminating information)
Fig: o yea.
Fig: there's clay in the backyard soil. - sometimes when I'm sun deficient or something I go touch dirt for a bit.
page 11
Fig: here u go
page 12
Riz: uh
Fig: now we make a thing! - 'm pretty good at freehanding a bowl.
Fig: I'll show u
page 13
Fig: just– yep, flatten that out as evenly as u can, then–! - actually ur nails'd be so good at cutting out the strip. [larger than usual space] wait. - wait. wait u can carve patterns with them! we HAVE to try
Riz: uh - What. do I carve?
Fig: anything!!!
page 14
Fig: and– yep just seal the inside uh. seam?
Fig: yep that works - okay time's up! all contestant hands up