#.while valid

[sansloii]

META + family (Evan)

Oooof

so…Evan's whole "family" situation is a complicated matter. when his parents were alive, he never really had a good relationship with them… and, as an adult, he wishes they would've died sooner. At best, they acknowledged him in some way and made sure that he wasn't skipping school and getting trouble ( and on the off chance he was doing all that, they were very present for that ). At worst, they full-on neglected him and he was often left to his own devices. they were never physically abusive to him — never laid a hand on him. however, they were the type of parents that obviously did not wish to be parents. they didn't wish to be married either so… it's anyone's guess why they went through with having Evan and getting married afterwards.

Taking care of Evan — truly taking care of him — was near the bottom on the list of priorities that they had after he reached… 6 or 7 years old. and so, Evan was a lot more independent than others his age. He was still immature in many ways but he kinda… had to take care of himself or learn how to do that when he didn't know how.

going to the issues each parent had would take too long and I'm already planning a lengthy headcanon post about Evan's childhood that includes a more concrete timeline but i will say that Evan does have family that he does care for. I feel like a bit of a broken record in some regard with how much I mention or allude to Roderick and his now deceased wife being like… the positive influence in Evan's life. however, much of Evan's formative years were spent solely with his parents and he didn't properly meet Roderick and Magdelena until he was already 9 years old. Even then, Roderick and his older brother ( Evan's father ) began butting heads a little bit about how Evan was being raised, how he clearly was just left to do what he wanted when he wanted, and a bunch of other personal things that bubbled up as a result of those arguments. So Evan didn't see his Uncle as often as he would've liked ( and didn't get to stay over too often either, despite them living so close and in a better neighborhood comparatively ). Roderick also missed out on many crucial parts of Evan's life until he started pushing to be a more active part of it a couple years later.

what followed after this tug-of-war between the two brothers was his father's death… and then his mother's. He had a little high point being adopted by Roderick + Magdelena ( though this was already when he was 16-17 years old ) but it plunged into another low point when Magdalena succumbed to her illness. So it was just him and Roderick — who, to his credit, tried exceedingly hard to give Evan whatever support he could've asked for. However, at that point, Evan had spent so long being independent and just… doing his own thing, that he didn't really lean on Roderick too much emotionally. He was, and still is, very grateful for Roderick stepping up where his father didn't but… to this day, Evan doesn't see Roderick as a "father" in any light. That's what he is but Evan associates the word father with his physically present but deadbeat parent so strongly that he can't separate the two. He's perfectly content with Roderick remaining his Uncle because ascribing a "father" status to Roderick would kinda… group the man in with someone who didn't care about him, didn't care if he was safe, didn't care if he was truly healthy, and only cared about "school" so long as he didn't get calls about Evan skipping or causing trouble. the same could be said about his mom and Magdelena, in that she is his Aunt and not his mother for the same reasons.

He has a lot of love for his Aunt and Uncle but absolutely none for his Mother and Father. And that's how it'll always because he's glad the latter two are dead.

@lured-into-wonderland | send META + a word, name, or phrase for a headcanon

[clarisimart]

tfw you realize the mortal you where planning on using and discarding, is a little unhinged actually, and matches your freak so you scrap that plan and start planning to rule the universe together

AKA bill realizes Ford "is just like him fr"

The page in The book of Bill that started this nonesense

commission info here

Transcript of text from the page of TBOB under the cut

Text reads: "Unfased, F has been making hot cocoa and welding rivets while playing christmas songs on the radio. (These songs make no sense. Why did Rudolph forgive his tormentors for their mockery of his facial deformity? He should have used his red-hot nose to burn his oppressor's workshop to the ground. A lesson to all!)"

[chloesimaginationthings]

FNAF movie Mike and Michael meet their younger selves..

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[cassandragemini]

its so crazy that for the last 5 years a small but annoyingly vocal online group has been acting like mob movies of all things are pretentious and inaccessible cinema. yeah the godfather is kinda slow but these are movies about criminals who shoot people

[lotus-pear]

free will is drawing ur two favorite characters together and making them gay

[cup-o-stars]

The Scoliosis Brothers.

I have like two longer comics that will get done who knows when, but they aren't half as funny tbh. Corazon being unreasonably sensitive and petty about Doflamingo is my bread and butter I think.

[deliciousnecks]

The Immigrant Experience: Early 19th Century

[drenched-in-sunlight]

mom vs dad incantation class

(also no thought… just Marika with her little daughters)

[teamnick]

put this in the louvre

[kitotherianposting]

hello nonhuman ally / young uneducated nonhuman. you have a bomb strapped to your chest. to diffuse it, you must explain why alterhumans are valid without saying any of these phrases

- they still know they're human / it's not like they believe they're physically nonhuman

- well they're not delusional / mentally ill

- it's just a phase, don't bother them / let kids be kids / they're just exploring their identity

- well they're just [insert something that only describes otherpaws / furries]

you have 1 hour.

[tea-cat-arts]

Shen Yuan getting transported into pidw isn't "the system punishing him for being a lazy internet hater," but instead representative of "step 1 of the creative process: getting so mad at something you decide to go write your own fucking book" in this essay I will

[nikinikori]

“What is honor compared to a woman's love? What is duty against the feel of a newborn son in your arms, [...] We are only human, and the gods have fashioned us for love. That is our great glory, and our great tragedy.”

— Maester Aemon Targaryen: "Game of Thrones"

[slttygeto]

born to ride suguru, forced to ride the bus to university everyday.

[greywoe]

child ward in search of belonging indulges in juvenile fantasies as a coping mechanism. sad!

[heymacy]

IAN GALLAGHER + his journey with bipolar disorder

╰┈➤ “At times, being bipolar can be an all-consuming challenge, requiring a lot of stamina and even more courage, so if you’re living with this illness and functioning at all, it’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of." - Carrie Fisher