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uwumessenger · 4 years ago

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random headcanons i have for each om! character teehee

hi it's been a while since ive posted some hcs bc uni has been kicking my a$$! luckily i only have a few papers to tidy up and im done. here r some hcs for each obey me character that ive accumulated over the past few months wink wonk

most are random but some constants you'll find are what i think they smell like, languages they can speak (other than their native (demon/angel) and eng/jp), and music tastes !

lucifer

i have a strong feeling that he showers twice a day: in the morning after waking up and at night before going to bed

his cologne is probably the type that will last in an elevator for like a week after he uses it once. i dont think this mf ever smells like anything other than his cologne

has a secret folder on his phone of semi-nudes and other scandalous pics from when he felt sexy at the time omg

aside from demon language/eng/jp he can speak french and knows latin

listens to classical stuff yea but he also listens to diavolos mixtapes (re: diavolo's section)

not a fan of sweets but will eat sweet things when craving

really bland sense of humor...borderline cringey 😭✋🏻

mammon

has gone to google images and searched for "inspirational quotes tumblr" "gold aesthetic tumblr" & "relatable crush post tumblr" then reposts it onto his socials or just taps thru them and giggles bc he relates

his cologne doesnt last as long as lucifers and probably smells common. he has to reapply a lot but it's a people pleasing smell. it's cheaper hence the constant reapplying

he probably does have an expensive bottle but is the type to totally overspray...eek

he is canonically a car guy 🥲 and probably tells the one in his room good morning & good night + kisses the hood every once in a while. has tons of car magazines

he doesnt really speak other languages but has attempted to learn spanish before

listens to whatever is on the radio. doesnt rly stan anyone but he eventually will listen to mc's playlist and mc's playlist ONLY

levi

lurks on mc's socials ALL THE TIMEEEE like he will rewatch ur stories and scroll thru ur feed and overanalyze ur tweets/rts or blog posts. if ur mc isnt the type to use sns much he still googles ur name all the damn time just to find any sites u might be on fjdjdjdjskks

probably streams on whatever youtube or twitch devildom site equivalent there is, but only has like 40 or so followers. which he is okay with!

until he sees someone else who gets more attention than him. then the envy starts kicking in bad. especially if they suck 🧍🏻‍♀️

classic gamer boy smell. you know, sweat, tears, must, and (sometimes) axe deodorant. lucifer has to do a scent check before he goes out to any event & lets him use his cologne. how sweet!

kpop stan!! more girl groups than anything and his ults are probably GIRLS GENERATION, wonder girls, twice, loona, & red velvet

cried when ioi disbanded and refused to leave his room. the only thing u could hear was downpour on loop at full blast

can also speak korean & communicate in echolocation like dolphins 😏

satan

listens to country music you cant change my mind

smells like whatever environment he is in. he doesnt really have a designated smell just throws some deodorant on and goes about his day.

he's sooooo bad at driving...gets road rage way too often so his license has been REVOKED

but hes totally a backseat driver. needs to be sedated on long trips

do not let him watch finding nemo when luke asks to watch it. it's not worth it. he will cause mass destruction.

if he was a human or lived long term in the human world he totally has the ability to be a doctor

is studying as many languages as possible, but he mostly knows latin & french & german etc etc. wants to learn all the dead languages out of curiousity

asmo

dont think this mf has ever held down a relationship. ever

he doesnt compromise much & is not willing to change his lifestyle to fit an s/o into it. you keep up with how he lives or it just isnt meant to be (but dont worry! he'll eventually learn...maybe,,,,)

has the hardest time out of everyone when it comes to breaking bad habits

his smell varies bc he uses a variety of perfumes (whatever is the most popular at the time) but he probably sticks to floral and fresh scents. he never uses generic people pleaser scents like mammon

listens to electropop, mainstream pop, & some alternative rock

as for languages he too knows french, spanish, italian, etc. in general, if it's a romance language he knows it!

opposite of lucifer in the sense where he loves sweets and will refrain from eating too many bitter things

i think we all know that asmo is the biggest rockstar of the group! he's probably been in a boy band at least once, but now he makes his own music

has tried to teach mammon how to sing once. ended up in a broken piano and bleeding ears...

beel

i feel like he is SO SHY

like unless ur close to him he will not start conversations or anything

i think he listens to r&b a lot ! and jazz 😎 maybe rock as well

smells like ur typical athlete with undertones of wet wipes. he carries them around bc he likes to clean his hands before he eats & is prepared for when theres no sink nearby

he can drive and he drives really well. no rough turns, parallel parks perfectly, and never has problems with merging

driving with beel is probably really soothing. left hand is steering the other is gripping ur thigh 😫

dont think hes really fluent in any other language but hes probably semi fluent in korean because levi wanted beel to help him out

definitely know how to order food in practically every language tho HAHAHA

belphie

he reminds me of randall from monsters inc

smells kinda musty IM SORRY but not the way levi does hes more like the kind of musty u feel or smell when it's a shitty morning

but that's only because hes so lazy, when he cleans up hes like satan

has definitely murdered multiple people before. mc is not the first 😐✋🏻

with that being said belphie has been put into prison at least twice when visiting the human world, the mf had such a strong hatred for humans theres no way he never got into trouble before

lucifer probably broke him out and they used the pen thingies from men in black to erase everyones memory of that 🙄

dont think he listens to anything other than music that'll put him to sleep. really likes lazy song by bruno mars but thinks that bruno mars put too much effort into the song. should have been one acapella verse and then finish

similar to beel hes only semi fluent in one language, probably french bc of lucifer. doesnt remember much but knows a couple of lullabies and bedtime stories

the sandman used to be his bff until they drifted. they do, however, like and comment on each other's sns posts.

diavolo

once he found out who nicki minaj was he became her #1 stan

def an ariana grande stan too 😌

choreographs dances when hes stressed...idk just seems like a diavolo thing to do

also makes rly bad soundcloud rap music sometimes. turns to poetry when hes feeling emo but only lucifer knows this. barbatos is suspicious of him but doesnt have enough evidence to confirm.

his dad is like hudson abadeer from adventure time aka marceline's dad? something must have influenced him to want to unite the 3 realms + he would need the approval to do so, so his dad must be more chill than all the others before him 🧍🏻‍♀️ IDK ok anyway

currently going through his hamilton phase bc of mc. whether mc's intent was to get him hooked onto it or just to explain it bc of something he saw online, he tells everyone that he found out abt it bc of mc!

this man cannot drive his skills are only second to jumin han

not too fond of many languages but knows the widely spoken ones like spanish, mandarin, etc. if it's taught in high school he knows it

smells like a las vegas casino. not sure why but i feel like he does. but there's also an interesting & nice smell to him if he embraces you. it's a smell you cant quite identify. but it smells nostalgic, it's mysterious, and it's tempting.

barbatos

very calm demeanor but underneath hes WILD hes probably done everything at least once oof

he just has a lot of control and stability over himself (must be nice!)

on a more angsty note i feel like he might have had his heartbroken sO BAD IDK he is hurting and maybe that's why hes so willing to obey diavolo and not abuse his time lord power thingies bc he learned his lesson the hard way

mans is so smart he knows every language you could switch languages mid conversation with him and he wouldnt be thrown off. he'd probably start speaking it too.

BUT HE SPEAKS VIET P E R F E C T L Y

listens to the same stuff as lucifer but also likes eminem. likes the movie 8 mile but criticized it heavily

have you ever been to a chinese herb shop? naturally, he smells like that. his room probably smells like it too. he doesnt really have a significant smell like some of the others

when he bakes he smells like whatever hes baking tho

one of the few out of everyone listed to have been able to travel to literally everywhere

solomon

was probably on kitchen nightmares once, but only to get feedback from chef gordon ramsay. then he used his magic to prevent the episode from airing...

was in an orchestra, one of the best times of his life. played the violin. asmo watched him in the audience once, but didnt approach him until well after that performance.

he CANNOT sing. he can, however, rap.

doesnt listen to music. he listens to podcasts! but every now and then he turns on background music, but prefers it to be instrumental stuff

never wears sunglasses. also does not have a driver's license. cannot drive a regular car. could maybe fly an airplane.

due to his immortality he has learned almost every language to exist, but finds himself speaking mandarin the most. knows most dialects too

similar smell to barbatos but u can also smell some sunscreen on him too. like, generic beach day suncreen

he has a lot of pact marks, so he once had the idea to match foundation to his skin. it took him two weeks but he eventually perfected a combination. yes he will help u find ur perfect shade if u ask him to

simeon

another country music man. has also made a tiktok or two to that one song that goes "he cant even bait a hook." they are private tho

angel country music exists and simeon invented it

if he visits the human world and wears more causal clothing he probably tucks his shirt into his pants

wears a speedo at the beach i tell u, speedo at the beach

he can speak german...i can feel it

uses his pointer finger to type and holds the phone like 2 inches away from his face so sometimes his nose will push a key hence all his typos

has no signature smell. he simply smells like your favorite scent all the time. if multiple people are around him at once, everyone smells a different smell. it's pretty rad

"what does he smell like to himself?" u may be asking. hmm...a church? 💀

luke

his first pet was a goldfish and a few months before the exchange program happened, he was given a koi pond!

secretly likes hanging out with levi sometimes just to play with henry. makes him miss his pet fish back home

so his favorite movie is probably finding nemo and he threw a fit when nemo touched the butt

luke is probably learning german bc of simeon, though he'd like to learn more of the dead languages just for fun

i dont think he listens to music often or has any preferences, he just listens to whatever is playing on the radio

but he finds himself listening to the music mc listens to

smells like freshly baked goods all the time. or fresh laundry. but like, not combined. just depends on the day

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esperantoauthor · 3 years ago

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Senior year Klaine!!! Applying for colleges! (Or you could just put some headcanons of how that year would go).

Hi Jas! This ask is literally 7 months old but I have every confidence that you still remember sending it because that is kind of your thing. I finally got inspired to pick back up the scene I had written and finish this off. It was a joy to write in this universe again for a little bit; thank you for sending this in when I invited people to send in prompts for scenes from the Express Yourself Verse. Without further ado...

Title: Applying to College [bonus content for the Express Yourself Universe] Author: Esperanto Length: 1,404 words 📚 Read it on Ao3 or below 📚

“You and Kurt talk much about college?” Burt asked conversationally as he handed Blaine a tire iron.

Blaine grasped the handle of the tool. “Some. I, uh, uh, I —don’t want to influ—to effect his de-de-decision so I haven’t shared my list yet.”

“Oh.”

Mr. Hummel looked disappointed. This confused Blaine, whose own parents had given him stern lectures about not throwing away his dreams for some high school boyfriend who, statistically, wasn’t going to be his forever partner anyways. Yes, his father had research to back up his point, as always.

“It’s irresponsible to choose a college based on where your boyfriend is going,” his father had lectured him.

“But he’s the love of-of-of my life,” Blaine had countered.

“Then your relationship will be strong enough to survive a little separation.”

His mother, always with the softer touch, had added, “You are just so young, sweetie, that’s all. You don’t want to limit yourself. It’s the responsible choice.”

They had worn him down in the end. He didn’t always agree with his parents but he knew they had his best interests at heart and as much as he was loath to admit it, he was young. There was a lot he didn’t know about life. College was a big deal and he didn’t want to screw it up by making an irresponsible decision.

But now, it seemed that following his parents’ advice meant disappointing Mr. Hummel. Blaine felt like he couldn’t win.

“So, how many colleges are you applying to?”

“I’ve got, uh, five applications —submitted but I’m not d-done yet.”

Blaine hoped his answer was good enough for Mr. Hummel. What if Kurt has applied to way more? Do I seem behind? I haven’t missed any deadlines.

“Is that, uh, a lot to apply to or… what’s the usual number?” Kurt’s usually confident father looked at Blaine with uncertainty in his eyes.

“Oh, I mean it, uh, it depends but I think like —five to eight is good.”

Burt fell into a plastic lawn chair and made a frustrated grunt. “I knew it!”

“Uh, you kn-knew what?”

“That Kurt doesn’t know any more about this than I do. I thought they had guidance—that’s what they’re called, right?— counselors at that school of yours. Aren’t they supposed to tell him this kind of stuff?”

“Um, they-they-they do, b-but no one has to talk to them. I...what do you m-mean he doesn’t know any more than, uh, y-you do?” Blaine asked, feeling deeply confused. Mr. Hummel was an adult, of course he knew more than them.

“Never went.”

“I...I ne-never realized. Not-not-not that it m-matters, of course!” Blaine felt his cheeks start to flush with embarrassment. Way to assume, Blaine!

“Got a job right out of high school, did the certification course at the junior college, and then I got real lucky that my boss decided to retire and wanted to pass on the business to someone he trusted. Can you do me a favor, kiddo?”

“Of course,” Blaine replied earnestly.

“Talk to Kurt about all this college stuff. He needs your help.”

“Um, o-okay.”

“Good.”

—

Blaine wasn’t sure how to bring up the topic without being heavy-handed but an opportunity presented itself to him just a few days later.

Kurt and Rachel strode into the cafeteria with their arms linked and matching smirks of self-satisfacts plastered across their faces; it was times like these that Blaine thought they could be siblings.

Blaine leaned in to accept the cheek kiss Kurt offered and then raised an expectant eyebrow, knowing that neither Kurt nor Rachel needed much prompting to spill when they were this excited.

Tina was not as patient. “Well?”

Kurt and Rachel turned to face one another before saying in unison, “We found our college!”

“It’s called NYADA,” Kurt added, face glowing with excitement. He pressed a colorful brochure into Blaine’s hands. “Please tell me you’ll apply too, Blaine!”

“Oh, I, uh… l-let me take a… look but, I mean, I p-p-p-probably, sure.” Blaine felt a bit flustered at being asked such a big question on the spot. Kurt’s gaze softened, clearly realizing what was happening and he gave Blaine’s thigh a comforting squeeze under the table.

“The deadline isn’t for another six weeks, so there’s plenty of time. Here, you hang on to this; I have more copies.”

That night, Blaine dutifully read through the brochure and researched the school online. His boyfriend, as always, had impeccable taste; it was clearly a top notch performing arts college. But the more he read, the more worried he became

He needed to talk to Kurt.

—

“Kurt, can we, um, um, well, can we talk about… about NYADA?”

“Sure! Did you read the flyer? Isn’t it just perfection?” Kurt clapped his hands against his thighs and bit his lip in excitement. Blaine swallowed thickly, thinking about how to do this without completely taking the wind out of Kurt’s sails.

“—Totally. The list of-of-of famous alumni alone was enough to, uh, convince me. Kurt, I would—I would love to go there.”

Kurt threw his arms around Blaine’s neck and kissed his cheek. “We’re going to New York! This is going to be perfect!”

“I, uh, I hhhope so. But Kurt… did you see that-that-that they only, uh, only accept 20 st-st-st-students a year? I… I think it would be a good… a good idea to have a backup, uh, plan.”

“You don’t think I’m good enough?” Kurt sounded hurt.

Blaine quickly leaned forward, gathering Kurt’s hands in his and drawing his gaze.

“No, no, sweetie, no, of-of course I do. But… e-e-everyone gets rejected from a-a-a-at least one or-or t-two colleges, Kurt. My…my father went to Harvard Law but even he didn’t get in everywhere.”

Kurt’s nose wrinkled in concern. “He didn’t?”

“He didn’t,” Blaine confirmed. "He was re-re-re—he didn’t get in to-to Colum-Columbia. And he got a-a-a-a-a perfect score on the SAT. He’s the one who —told me how important it is to-to-to apply to several schools, including a few ssssafety choices.”

Kurt sat back in stunned silence. “I thought the hard part was choosing the school… I had no idea. How many schools have you applied to so far, Blaine?” Panic was starting to creep into Kurt’s voice.

“Um, five so far.”

“So far?” Kurt’s voice cracked on the second word and he ran his fingers through his hard, something he only did when he was highly stressed. Blaine felt a sympathetic pang in his chest. “Well, which ones? Is it too late for me to apply to them too?”

“N-no, I don’t—I don’t th-th-think the deadline has-has-has —passed for any of them yet. I, um, let me think. I… applied to CUNY, NYU, Cornell, Northwestern, and-and-and Ohio State.”

“You want to go to Ohio State?” Kurt looked mildly scandalized.

“N-n-no.”

“Then why did you apply?” Kurt asked in befuddlement.

“It’s a-a-a…it’s —called a safety, um, school. It’s just in—just in c-c-c-case I don’t, I don’t get in anywhere, um, else. I’d r-r-rather go there than-than n-nowhere, you know? —Besides, my father said you-you-you-you can al-al-al-al-always transfer after a year.”

“Oh. Well, I guess there’s no harm in that.”

Well, that could have gone a lot worse. Blaine let out a contented sigh. He had managed to talk to Kurt about this delicate topic without embarrassing him.

“I, um, I-I-I can help you with the, uh, uh, um, the, uh, the research if you want.”

“That would be amazing, actually. I’m suddenly feeling very overwhelmed by this whole thing.”

“Happy to help. It is our fu-fu-future, after all. That’s always worth p-p-p-putting in a bit of work for.”

Kurt’s worried expression melted into a fond smile.

“Th-th-th-there’s this one program, actually—“

Suddenly, Blaine was flat on his back, looking up into Kurt’s mischievous eyes.

“Tomorrow, Blaine. We can start tomorrow. Tonight, I have other plans.”

Kurt didn't have to tell him twice.

#this takes place between the last chapter of love yourself and the epilogue #love yourself #gorgxoxus #asked and answered #also I heard your birthday is coming up so HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY #love yourself extras #my fic #esperanto writes #This is me trying to write something short #also I read through this maybe twice so hopefully there aren't any glaring errors #should I post this on ao3?#express yourself extras #express yourself #express yourself extra scene

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hoeforpoeanddin · 4 years ago

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NSFW Alphabet: Poe Dameron

Poe Dameron x AFAB!Reader

Warnings: NSFW so begone underage peeps. Mention of breeding kink and pregnancy

AN: Happy May the 4th! May the force be with ya kids. NSFW under the cut! Also I curse a lot.

Masterlist

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Very cuddly when y’all are at the base. After cleaning you up, he cleans himself and you two cuddle in bed, if you two have the time to do so. Sweet words, so many kisses and lots of touches are incorporated.

If y’all just had a quickie and Poe has to bounce, he’d give you so many kisses and as he runs to the door, he’d tell you that he’d miss you and everything. If it’s you who’s gotta go, Poe would be giving you them puppy eyes, silently begging you not to leave.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He KNOWS that he’s got a nice bootay. Oh he does. But he’s proud of his arms too, especially when you put your hand on them.

On you, everything. But if he has to pick, he’d definitely go with your ass/hip/thighs area. Love how they feel pressed against his body, under his hands and with his lips. To kiss though, he loves your neck. If he could, he’d munch on it forever. nom nom eat up Poe Dameron

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Ideally, he would like to cum inside you. The intimacy of feeling his cum in you is addicting. Watching your hole filled with his release satisfies something primal in him and he could stare at it forever. At the same time, he doesn’t mind going down on you after he emptied his balls into you. Tasting the result of you and his lovemaking doesn’t gross him out.

After returning from a mission where he couldn’t really take care of himself, he’d cum thick and a lot. On those occasions, he’d love to cum on your face or chest to brand you, if you are into that.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Not so much a secret because it’s obvious and you’ve noticed it already, but he LOVES to stare at the part you two are connected. A visual reminder of the closeness of you two, how well you’re taking him and how wet you two are. He loves all of it and he’d tell you.

Also, he would love to fuck you in a meeting. But even the risk of getting caught is too high for this adrenaline loving flyboy, so he just fantasizes about it. Or settles with fingering you in one.

As a former spice runner, he knows what spices can do to you so he definitely wants to try some with you.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He knows that he’s doing and he does it well because of the past experiences he’d had, whether that be one night stances, FWB relationships, or past relationships.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Any position that he gets to see your face, cup your cheeks and kiss you, HE LOVES. Missionary, spread eagle, cowgirl and the list goes on. He would like to stare into your eyes and see how desperate you are. Whispering dirty things into your ears, leaving marks on your neck and collarbone, and just… feeling you, that’s important to him.

But there’s no point in denying that he doesn’t appreciate doggy. He loves you ass.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Very. Humorous. He’d tease you, kind of make a joke of you being cock dumb and stuff. Sometimes, he jokingly bites you, leaves a random mark on your stomach, and tickles you with his scruff, just to lighten up the mood. He is serious enough but not too serious during the moment.

Though when you two were separated for a certain period of time, there’s no time for him to be goofy. He’d be desperate for the first round, all serious and want to be physically and emotionally reunited, and in sync with you. After the first round, he’ll crack some jokes.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Manscaping may not be the most prioritized thing for Poe at the moment, but he tries to take care of it for you. He won’t be clean shaven though, that’s just too time consuming to maintain it and he likes some hair down there, especially when your nose nuzzles into it during a blowjob.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Being intimate and romantic is owned and copyrighted by Poe Dameron. He’d kiss you, worship you, praise you, touch every inch of your skin and try to convey all the emotions he has for you through sex. Physical proximity is a must for Poe. So he would be just talking, dirtily obviously, and touching and kissing you. Constantly. Only during sex, you two can forget about the galaxy and he wants to show that he’s 100% focused on you.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

When he’s away on a mission, yes. He jerks off. He may find some pornographic materials to help him or try to think of you. When you two are physically together? Hello mutual masturbation, Poe called and wants to book you for the weekend.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

As mentioned in E = Experience, he’s experienced. But he actually is not-too-crazily-kinky-but-experienced, so he may not whip out a handmade sex machine on you but he’s done the basics and some advanced shit.

He definitely has praise kink. This boy is a cocky hoe. He loves getting compliments and being reminded that he’s good to you. But let’s flip the table. He loves to praise the hell out of you, tell you how well you’re taking him and stuff. He just wants to be a good boi for ya.

Dry humping and rubbing too. He just likes to make sure that you know that he’s horny and how hard he is. For him, it’s not teasing, it’s a way of showing how needy he is but to you, it feels unfair. You want him inside you but you can’t deny the appeal of them.

He’s a verse, leaning more towards top but please, top him. He wants you to take control too. Loves it when you ride him and control his orgasm, telling him that he needs to be a good boy to get his reward and he’ll do his best to please you.

Once the war is over and your friends start to get married and have kids, he’d have a full-blown breeding kink. Creampie all the way. Would he get a plug? Yes. Would you slightly judge him for it? Yes. Would you still love him? Fuck yes. Would Poe use it on you? ABSOLUTELY.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Ooh. He loves thrills, adrenaline rushes and taking risks. So. In his X-Wing, the Falcon, a semi-secluded storage room, an empty room, anywhere that he gets to say “Be quiet baby, someone’s gonna see you getting fucked hard, you wouldn’t want that, do ya?” but really wants you to scream and let the whole base know that he’s fucking you that good, would be his favorite places.

But that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t appreciate loving you in your, his or you two’s quarters. It’s almost like a sanctuary to him, to forget about the world and the burdens you two carry for a moment and indulge in each other. But you two may be too loud, your neighbors might hate y’all and bang on the wall. Is that really private? Not sure. Does Poe care? He pretends to but actually he doesn’t. It just shows how good he is at making you feel good.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Not to be too cheesy and stuff, but anything you do. You flashed a smile at him when you saw him at the cantina? He wants to drag you into an empty room and rail you. You working hard and being serious? He wants to help you relax by eating you out.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Anything that accompanies excessive pain. Spanking may be okay but leaving you a scar, drawing some blood or straight up punching you, he can’t. He doesn’t want to hurt you.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Won’t complain when you’re offering, in fact he loves it when you go down on him. When you seem to enjoy stuffing your mouth with his dick, he’s ready to cum hard. BUT. Poe is a pleaser. He loves to see his partner going crazy with his tongue and mouth, so he’d like to stay between your thighs forever. If you don’t feel like receiving his enthusiastic oral, he’d be terrified that he’s done something wrong but once you explain that you’re just not up for it for whatever reasons, he’ll respect you and your body but will miss drinking you up.

Ride his face. Sit on his face. He’d hold onto your thighs and will lap whatever you give him till you beg him to stop. He might cum if you stay on his face long enough.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Fast and sensual is his thing. Busy schedule is a prerequisite of being a pilot. So he may have to be quick but will make it heartfelt and sexy for you too.

But when you two have some time to indulge, HE WOULD GO SO DAMN SLOW YOU WILL BE BEGGING FOR A RELEASE. He likes to take time to show you how much he appreciates and cares about you.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Look outside. There’s a war going on. Quickies are a part of your sex life. Neither of you mind them but Poe would say “Maker, I wish I could just be in bed with you, fucking you till morning right now.” that kind of stuff. He just wants to be with you. But hey, whenever he hoisted you up against the wall or a door, he seems to be living the moment.

Post-war quickies are rare but Poe loves the thrill and adrenaline of them, he’d definitely squeeze a quick fuck before you or him go into a meeting or mission.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

YES, HE LIVES FOR TAKING RISKS. I’ve been saying and I hate redundancy. Anyways, he wouldn’t hesitate trying something out that he heard or read about. When you bring up something you’d like to try, he’d be VERY pleased and eager to test it out immediately.

Please refer to L = Location as for risky locations that Poe is into.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Two rounds in a row, with a break, he can go a couple more. He can last long enough to make you cum with his dick.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He had a couple in the past but when he joined the Resistance, he gave up on them. Now he’s with you, when he goes on a mission and sees some toys being sold, he’d definitely grab one or two. Obviously to use them on you but he wouldn’t mind you using them on him either!

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Does he love to tease? Does he love to be unfair? A simple “yes” to those questions would be the biggest understatement of the year. Edging, teasing you, playfully denying orgasms, making you cum on his mouth for so many times yet refuses to fuck you with his dick, he’s creative with coming up with ways to tease you. When you’re whiny and begging, he goes crazy. He loves to see you being vocal and honest.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Vocal af. Grunting and moaning A LOT. Once he learns that you like it when he talks dirty, he will not SHUT THE FUCK UP. He’d definitely get turned on by how loud he is and how you’re enjoying it.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Before you two became a thing, he accidentally saw your underwear because your pants hung too low and he jerked off to the image MULTIPLE TIMES. Also he loves to see you wearing his clothes. Remember that tunic thingy he only wore once in TFA? Borrow it. He’d snuggle into you and won’t leave your side. The shirt he rocked in TROS? Wear it. He’d tell you how hard he is and show you.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Above average but not too crazy. Thicker than the average for sure. It’s a pretty cock and he knows it. Also his balls are big. Not pendulous, but big and fit in your hands nicely.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Not as high as his younger self, but still high. Also he values sex not just as physical but also emotional and psychological act, so his desire to have you is pretty high. He wants to feel your pulses, body moving, breathing on his body and the warmth. He craves that. He wants a physical reminder that you’re with him, alive and well.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

After making sure that you’re cleaned up and nice and cozy, you two would cuddle and he’d doze off fairly quickly. He wants to stay awake and see you fall asleep, but he’s tired. Let that boy sleep. He won’t fall asleep without you in his arms though. Or check Sleep with Poe Dameron Headcanons to read more about Poe sleeping with you. Shameless self-plug is my middle name.

#poe dameron #Poe Dameron x you #Poe Dameron x reader #Star Wars fanfiction #Star Wars reader insert #star wars #Oscar isaac #Poe Dameron fanfic #Poe Dameron reader insert

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george-mackay-macfine · 5 years ago

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Dean NSFW! Alphabet

A/N I’m so sorry this is so quick, I’ve been flat out recently. I wanted to post something but didn’t want to half-ass a request.

Request

Synopsis: Dean NSFW alphabet.

Word count: 1,015

A= Aftercare

Dean always likes pushing you to the maximum you can go. So even when you think it’s done it may not be, he’ll be pushing his fingers inside your tight, oversensitive pussy and praying for you to come once more.

However, once he’s sure you’ve given all you can he turns into the sweetest man you know, pulling you close, getting you a cloth and cleaning you up. Kissing and loving you as much as he can.

B= Boner

When you and Dean are out in public and he gets a stiff one he doesn’t want to just readjust and pretend it doesn’t happen, he makes sure he presses against you however he can, against the side of your leg, resting it between you bum cheeks.

He wants you to know that he wants you and if you’re willing to sneak off to that supply closest… Even better.

C=Cum

You, when you cum, is the hottest visual Dean has ever seen. He’ll never forget the way your lip pulls between your teeth as you let go all because of him, and he’ll never forget the taste of you on his tongue.

D= Dirty Secret

Dean has a stash of videos of the two of you. His favourite to watch while he’s away filming is when you’re deep throating him, gagging around his cock. He’ll watch it whenever he can on set, and he’ll be sure he’s got privacy because he knows ones he sees the tears in your eyes from trying to take all of him he’ll need a release.

E= Experience (How much do they have?)

Dean used to be a fuckboy. In the height of G.O.T he could get any girl he wanted. So he’s well versed on how to make a woman feel good. How hard to thrust to keep her coming, how if he wiggles his tongue gently enough on your clit while his fingers are buried inside of you it’ll cause you to squirt all over him.

F= Favorite Position

Dean loves to see you ride him. Watch your tits bounce while your head falls back in pleasure. He loves to watch you use him as your own personal fuck toy because he knows the second round he’s going to bend you over the side of the bed and not take it easy on you.

G= Gagging

Dean thinks there’s nothing prettier than you gagging on his cock, especially in the back of the limo where you know you have to be quiet and not make a sound.

H= Hair

He’s bald, he wants you to lick wherever you want without worrying about hair.

I=Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect)

Dean’s always leaving kisses on your neck that to strangers seem sweet and romantic, but to you, you know it means he’s horny and he wants you to meet him int he car in 5 minutes.

J=Jerking off

He’s not a fan unless he’s doing it to you fucking yourself with your toys, or he’s away on set and he’s no other option.

K=Kink

He loves seeing you full. Often you’ll find yourself with a small vibrating dildo in your arse, a gag in your mouth and Dean going hard on your pussy. He’s also used these times to take photos of you as your coming unable to make a scream.

L=Location

He loves to fuck you in the shower. When you’re all wet and sudsy from your body wash. Makes slipping in even easier.

M=Motivation

When you’re playing with your lips at the dinner table, looking him up and down with those bedroom eyes, that’s all the motivation he needs to take you home.

N=No (Something they won’t do, turn-offs)

He refuses to degrade you.

O=Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He loves to see you going down on him, nearly as much as he loves to go down on you.

P=Pace

He changes it up each time, you never know what Dean you’ll get.

Q=Quickie

He’s not a fan, he’d rather take his time and worship your body, even if your in public.

R= Rubbers

As soon as you and Dean got into a serious committed relationship, the pair of you decided you didn’t want to have a barrier between you and you made the decision on your own to get on the pill. Dean’s first time inside you, without a condom on was nearly enough to blow his brains out.

S=Stamina

He can normally last two rounds, but he makes you come at least three times before he’s finished.

T=Toys

He loves toys, he thinks they add to the fun. He loves taking you to dinner with a vibrator, or some Ben Wa Balls inside of you, He finds it especially fun when you have the Ben Wa Balls in your pussy and a little vibrator in your ass. He loves to hold the remote and turn it on when you’re eating, and watch as you give all the men around a little show.

U=Unfair teasing

He loves it when you tease him, take control and show skin on your nights out together, teasing him infant of his friends, because he knows when you get home he’ll be fucking you well into the early morning.

V=Volume

Dean likes to let you know when you’re pleasing him, and in return loves to know when he’s pleasing you. He always makes sure he tells you to tell him how good he’s making you feel.

W= Wild Card

He loves it when you dominate him, and hold him down between your legs, and use his cock like a toy.

X=X-Ray

The boy is long in length and soooo thick…

Y=Yearning

He fucks you at least once a day, ending in at least two orgasms minimal.

Z=ZZZ…

You’ll snuggle till you fall asleep, more than once you’ve fall asleep with him inside you, laid on his chest unable to move from the pleasure he dealt you.

#dean charles chapman #Dean Charles Chapman x reader #Dean Charles Chapman Imagine #Dean Charles Chapman Fanfic #Dean Charles Chapman Smut #Dean Charles Champan request

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hyperionswrath--archived · 4 years ago

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Also! If anyone is up to some really dark shit, check out my “The Bitter Taste” Verse. I’m thinking about expanding the info on it and I am...kinda itching to play this super dark take on Seifer? If anyone’s up for it.

#.the B I T T E R taste verse #.it's really dark shit so be advised #mun #.mun #.ooc

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illuminatcd-arch · 4 years ago

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* 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐧 𝐰𝐞𝐛𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫 / 𝑶𝑽𝑬𝑹𝑽𝑰𝑬𝑾

all things london &&. interactions visage &&. musings graphic ©

B A S I C

NAME: london mary webster. NICKNAMES: just london is fine. FACE CLAIM: amber stevens west. AGE RANGE: twenty six (26) to thirty six (36). BIRTHDAY: 17 october. SPECIES: human. GENDER: cis woman. PRONOUNS: she/her. HOME FANDOM: unaffiliated oc. AVAILABILITY: open for plotting. more below, subject to change depending on verse.

F A M I L Y

MOTHER: jennifer duffy. FATHER: paul webster. FAMILY: family is the only rock i know. SIBLINGS: unknown half sister.

P H Y S I C A L A T T R I B U T E S

RACE/ETHNICITY: african american, norwegian, german, english, dutch, distant scots-irish/northern irish, remote welsh. NATIONALITY: american. HEIGHT: 5 feet and nine inches (5′9) WEIGHT: irrelevant. BUILD: slim. HAIR: usually down, medium length. HAIR COLOR: brown. EYE COLOR: brown. DOMINANT HAND: ambidextrous. ANOMALIES: none. SCENT: whatever is new and on trend. ACCENT: american. PHYSICAL DISABILITIES: none. LEARNING DISABILITIES: none. ALLERGIES: eggs, soy. DISORDERS: undiagnosed anxiety. FASHION: is always on trend. NERVOUS TICS: clicks pens until they break.

L I F E S T Y L E

HOME ADDRESS: varies, verse dependent. RESIDES: varies, verse dependent. BORN: memphis, tennessee. RAISED: memphis, tennessee. VEHICLE: 2019 mini cooper. PHONE: one so big it could be an ipad. LAPTOP/COMPUTER: mac desktop, but also has an ipad mini for when she’s on the go. PETS: cannot be trusted with pets.

HIGH SCHOOL EDUCATION: graduated. COLLEGE EDUCATION: attended cornell, new york. CAREER: lifestyle blogger, varies, verse dependent. EMPLOYER: herself, varies, verse dependent.

POLITICAL AFFILIATION: has no interest in politics, asks her father who to vote for. RELIGION: raised going to church every sunday, will go for important events but not regularly. BELIEFS: in a higher power. MISDEMEANORS: none. FELONIES: none. TICKETS AND/OR VIOLATIONS: none. DRUGS: panics when she has to take antibiotics. SMOKES: never. ALCOHOL: not often, but does enjoy a fruity cocktail. DIET: varies depending on what projects she’s working on, usually pretty good.

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: undetermined. SEXUAL ORIENTATION: undetermined. MARTIAL STATUS: varies, verse dependent. CHILDREN: varies, verse dependent. AVAILABILITY: varies, verse dependent. LOOKING FOR: varies, verse dependent.

LANGUAGES: english, some italian.

PHOBIAS: disappointing others. HOBBIES: enjoys painting. TRAITS: idealistic, sweet, generous, codependent, hesitate, gossip. SOCIAL MEDIA: it is literally her day job.

F A V O U R I T E

LOCATION: her old sorority house, for the memories. SPORTS TEAM: sports doesn’t exist in london’s world. GAME: jigsaw puzzles to relax. MUSIC: varies, she has a wide taste. SHOWS: medical dramas. MOVIES: all the disney classics. FOOD: pancakes. BEVERAGE: flavoured water. COLOR: teal.

C H A R A C T E R

MORAL ALIGNMENT: true neutral. MBTI: estj. ENNEAGRAM: type 4 - the individualist. TEMPERAMENT: sanguine. WESTERN ZODIAC: libra. SONG: countdown - beyonce.

IDEOLOGIES: if you put your mind to it, you can do just about anything.

#&&. london webster.#&&. london webster & musings.#&&. london webster & threads.#&&. london webster & visage.#&&. stats.

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ff-imagines · 5 years ago

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NSFW Alphabet: whiskey

Y’all really seemed to like my last whiskey headcanons and I have a lot of love for this stinky man. Here we go!

Listen while reading:

A- Aftercare (what are they like after?)

He’s not very versed to considering what other people want or need, so being put in a situation where that’s exactly what he needs to be in tune with? He’s gonna struggle for a while. You’ll need to tell him what you need for him to really do anything. You’ll always get cuddles though, he won’t outright leave you alone that night.

“What? You need some water? I.... well, alright. Stay here, get under the covers. I won’t be long.”

B- Body part (favorite body part of yours and their own)

His favorite body part of his own is his hands. He’s a very touch oriented person, likes to feel you, how you shiver or how you lean into him. He loves exploring you via touch.

“Do you like the way I touch you? How about... here...? Hmm.... that got a pleasant reaction....”

His favorite part of your body would most likely be your neck. He really likes to mark your neck, harshly. He lives for the way you squeak and squirm every time his teeth bite down on your skin. I predict turtlenecks and scarves in your future.

C- Cum (where do they like to cum & how much do they cum?)

If you let him, cumming inside of you is his dream. It feels so much more intimate in his mind, the little whines you give out as you feel the warmth filling you... he’s completely lost in it.

“I... I can’t..... hold on..... I.... God’s.... you take me so well.... here... have me... have every last drop of my love...”

If you prefer not to have him cum inside, he’d love to cum over your thighs. He’s a total leg guy, so having his cum drop from your thighs? He’s done for.

D- Dirty Secret (whats a dirty secret of theirs?)

He secretly kinda wants you to top him. He’d never want to give up his dominance, but if you were to offer... or rather... demand it.... he wouldn’t say no....

E- Experience (how much experience do they have?)

Honestly? Extremely little. He’s had small encounters here and there, but they always felt.... off. Wrong. They happened because he was curious on what it would be like, and it didn’t do much for him. He’s definitely got some learning to do.

“I’ve been waiting for the right person to share myself with.... I’ve been waiting for you.”

F- Favorite Position (self explainitory lmao)

He’s not picky, but he needs to see your face. Doggy isn’t out of the question, but there needs to be a mirror nearby where he can see your face. He prefers positions that give him control.

“Here, here... no no... don’t hide your face from me, I want to see you come undone...”

G- Goofy (how goofy are they during?)

Nope. Not at all. He’s not really goofy in general, and when he is his humor is.... very dark.

“A joke? Dearest, is this really the time?”

H- Hair (how groomed are they?)

Trimmed and proper. Hates it any other way, he feels less clean. He won’t force you to do anything, but he’ll express his wish that you do the same.

I- Intimacy (how intimate are they during?)

He might not be goofy, but damn if he doesn’t try his best to make it intimate. He’s been waiting so goddamn long for you to come into his life again, he’s gonna make sure his image is pressed into your mind as well as your body.

J- Jack Off (self ex.)

A rare occurrence. Maybe twice a month. He’s not the most sex driven person, and he’d rather spend his time with you rather than alone.

However.... he’s never touched himself so much as the days leading up to the day you help up that glowing vile of ink... you both could feel the tension, and that ink sealed your fate.

“Love.... do you have any clue how long I’ve wanted this? How many times I’ve touched myself thinking of this moment...?”

K- Kink

Honestly? If you praise him in anyway? He’ll make you see another planet.

“What...? What was that? Can you say that again? No, say that again.” “........” “..... again........ again... again...”

Big thing for biting and scratching. I mean, have you seen this mans nails?

“It hurts you say? Hehe.... well... it’s supposed to!”

Nothing too heavy, but he’s definitely interested in bondage. He’s especially interested in handcuffs.

“Not to tight right? Hm, funny, the more I bind you, the more fidgety you become....”

L- Location (where do they like to do it?)

Does not like the idea of being caught, you are for him to see and him alone. Somewhere safe, cushy, and where both of you know you won’t be interrupted.

“No no, wait. Lock the door. I don’t want anyone else seeing you. They don’t deserve too.”

M- Motivation (what gets them in the mood?)

Honestly? Just asking. Is that kinda un-sexy? Yeah. But he likes the honestly when he’s so used to nothing but lies.

“Dearest! You’re back! I just read the m—...... what? Well... I... well.... hehe.... alright. Come here.”

N- No (what will they never do?)

Besides letting anyone else in the room, he doesn’t like it when he draws blood. If he bites down or scratches and draws blood, he knows he went a little too far.

“Damn... your skin is weaker than I thought it would be... no no, it’s ok, it’s my fault. Come on, let’s get you some water. It won’t happen again.”

He also has a biiig problem with non-con role play. Also, role play in general seems silly to him, but non-con stuff is really crossing the line.

“What? People are into that? And I thought the ‘playing pretend’ thing was as low as people could get. Why would I trouble you with something you don’t want?”

O- Oral (self ex.)

Hates giving. He feels like it’s unclean, can’t stand the taste. He loves receiving however. He prefers you to spit, he feels bad when you swallow something that tastes so vile.

“Dearest, no. You don’t have too-.... oh, you did anyway. I wouldn’t be offended if you didn’t...”

P- Pace (how fast/hard do they like it?)

Super dependent on how you acted towards him that day.

Being a brat? Fast and hard.

“Today you’ve been much more... talkative. I don’t like the backtalk. Perhaps you’d like me to prove to you who is in control here?”

If you’re being sweet and cuddly? Soft and sensual.

“Come here.... you’ve been so good to me today.... maybe you’d like me to give you a reward? It’s only fair...”

He’s not a one trick pony.

Q- Quickie (how do they feel about quick rounds?)

No. He likes to take his time.

“Wha- here? Now? Dearest, no. Let’s wait till tonight and have a proper time.”

R- Risk (would they enjoy maybe being caught in the act?)

N o. 不要. N o n. N e i n. A b s o l u t e l y not.

“Your other souls have been lurking around you lately. I don’t appreciate it.” “What?” “Of course I care about him coming to close to you! What if he ruins all I’ve made for you?” “.... don’t concern yourself with meanings...”

S- Stamina (how long do they last?)

At most, two or three rounds. He prefers one drawn out round where your absolutely spent and sore by the end of it, though.

“Hmm? Again? Well... alright. Give me a minute. Come here. Let me hold you until I’m ready.”

T- Toy (would they use toys?)

Sorta? He’d definitely use handcuffs and blindfold and the like, but not so much vibrators or dildos. He doesn’t want a piece of plastic doing his job for him.

“I’m not sure. I don’t see the point in buying what I already give you.”

U- Unfair (do they tease and deny you a lot?)

Yes. You’ll be crying begging for him and he still won’t give you what you want.

“You need to ask politely!” “I can’t hear you....” “hehe.... you weren’t loud enough that first time... maybe another twenty minutes is required to make you completely obedient....”

V- Volume (how loud are they?)

Not at all. Small grunts, and a lot of sighing. He does talk a lot, though.

“mmm... you’re so warm... I can feel the way you squeeze down on me... should I go deeper?” “Hmhm.. I’ll take that as a yes....”

W- Wild Card (random head canon)

He likes to have low lighting. Even when you’re not having sex, he likes to work by candle light.

“It’s easier on the eyes, don’t you think?”

X- X-Ray (what’s going on down there?)

Around 5.9 ish. Not small by any means, but it’s not going to kill you.

Y- Yearning (how high is their libido?)

Not exactly high, nor really low though, either. A happy medium. He is firm on when he’s not in the mood. He respects when you say no, he expects the same amount of respect.

“Dearest, We’ve already had our fun thrice the last days already, I have things to catch up on.”

Z- ZZZ... (how fast do they fall asleep after?)

.... does whiskey ever sleep? He does like how cute and exhausted you look, however.

“Hmm, asleep already? Hehe... that’s okay. You’re so cute.... I like seeing you so peaceful, so vulnerable....”

#red #Headcanon #whiskey

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glorywaited · 5 years ago

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☽ / @solhcir ( plotted: pirate verse )

NORMALLY PEOPLE KNEW BETTER THAN TO MESS WITH CASSANDRA’S CREW -- though the tiny hands of a child didn’t seem to know better or listen to wanted posters or reputations being thrown around. she should know -- it’s so similar to how she got her start && yet this child was younger than she’d been. oh, she has a bitter taste for orphanages && parents that simply discard children as if they’re so much trash -- so yet again that hidden softness of hers behind the curtains of a stoic, terrifying && notorious pirate churns up inside her again.

&& she raises a hand in silent order to her crew member -- telling him to stand down once he’d caught the child by her hand, seeking to take back what she’d tried to steal from him. && the captain kneels to her level, handing her a loaf of bread.

❝ what’s your name, kid ? you’ve got to be brave, stealing from a big, nasty pirate like that -- or just desperate && hungry. so...which is it ? ❞

#solhcir #「 🌙 ◜ verse: pirate ◞ jump on board && cut them to pieces 」#「 🌙 ◜ in character ◞ you'll find me waiting in the wings 」#[ me: wow i cant write laterly / ava coming back: WOW I SUDDENLY CAN ]#[ i am HYPED AAAAAAAA !! i hope this okay tho ???? hdbsam ]

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broadwaycantdie · 5 years ago

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Drag Race! - Newsies (Pride) Month . Day 13

( buttons ) + ( drag queens )

a/n: i had this idea a while ago but i didn’t know how to do it so let’s see how it goes // also FUCK i love drag race

warnings: none

background: A few of the newsies LOVE Rupaul’s Drag Race. They’ve seen every season and rewatch old seasons when waiting for new episodes. Buttons has never seen the show despite his friends asking him to. He finally sits down with them to watch a previous season of their choice and begins to learn what it’s all about. The boys realize something they never have before and decide to run with it.

( this story only really works if you picture Damon J. Gillespie’s version of Buttons btw )

——————————————————————————

“Buttons! We’re gonna rewatch a season. You wanna watch finally? This one’s a good one, trust me.”

“Hmm...okay why not. But if it’s not good you owe me.”

“And if you like it, you owe us.”

Race slid over and made room for Buttons on the already full couch.

“I didn’t know all you guys liked Drag Race”, Buttons asked semi-shocked.

“Of course! You’ve never seen a competition like this, B, trust me. It’s got it all! Drama, beauty, friendship, iconic quotes, fights...man you don’t know what you’re missing!” Mush called out from the armchair.

“Well stop telling me and put it on so I can see for myself!” Buttons replied, ready to see what all the hype was about.

Race turned on the TV and opened up his purchased shows. He bought every season, no matter what.

“This is the best All Stars season”, he said, hovering the section over All Stars 3.

“Uh? Race?” Davey called out from the opposite armchair of Mush.

“Yeah?”

“Don’t you mean All Stars 2 is the best?”

“No? What are you on, Dave? Crack!?”

“Are you? Clearly All Stars 2 is the best!”

Buttons could see how serious the boys were about their show.

“Okay, okay, okay. Let’s settle this”, Davey said, getting up from his chair, “Raise your hand if you think All Stars 2 is the best.”

Davey, Jack, Mush, Kid Blink, Albert, Specs, Tommy Boy, and Jojo all raised their hands.

“Guys!” Race yelled, distressed.

“Alright hold up. Now raise your hand for season 3.”

Race’s hand shot up, along with Kenny, Smalls, Romeo, Elmer, and Henry.

“Thank you guys! At least I know a few of you have taste.”

“Crutchie, why didn’t you raise your hand?” Davey asked.

“Cause I like All Stars 1”, he replied.

Both Davey and Race stopped to look at him and couldn’t help but laugh.

“Who likes season 1?” Race joked.

“I do! I love Jujubee okay! She was robbed!”, he retorted defensively.

“You think everyone was robbed”, Jack butted in.

Buttons just sat and listened, more confused than ever.

There was a pause and then Race couldn’t help but speak back up.

“But like, tell me, how, HOW is season 2 better than season 3?” Race argued.

“Do you want it in a list or a paragraph cause we’re gonna be here for a while”, Albert quickly snapped back.

“List them off, let’s see what you got, Dasilva!”

“Bet! Hmm, where to start...” Albert began sarcastically, “Oh yeah! KATYA! ALASKA! ALYSSA! PHI PHI! ADORE! Must I continue?”

“Be my guest.”

“The entirety of ‘Read U Wrote U’—“

“Even Roxxy’s verse?” Race butted in.

“We don’t talk about that one and you know that”, Albert said very quickly and even more defensive than before.

“Alright, alright! Well based off majority, All Stars season 2 is the best”, Davey spoke up, trying to regain order.

“Well based off who bought every season, All Stars 3 is the best and that’s what we’re watching so sit down or don’t”, Race ended, pouting like a child having a tantrum.

“So are we watching the best one or Race’s favorite?” Buttons spoke up, still confused on what just happened.

At the same time Race said “the best” and Albert said “Race’s favorite”.

They looked at each other with angry eyebrows and continued on.

“Sorry I asked”, Buttons replied, trying to stop the tension.

“Look what you guys did! Buttons is scared and probably doesn’t even want to watch anymore!” Elmer called out.

They all looked at Buttons who wouldn’t admit it, but was a bit more nervous than before.

“Am I gonna get this heated when I watch?” He asked.

“Honestly...yeah. But it gets less scary when you know what to argue with and when it’s a valid argument”, Jack answered.

“Can we just put it on! Damn guys”, Mush yelled, hushing everyone up.

Race was still lowkey mad but continued on—for Buttons’ sake.

He started the first episode up and they all paid attention, watching like they haven’t seen it before. Acting like if they rewatch it they’ll be a different winner or someone won’t go home as early this time around.

They watched as the queens entered the workroom.

Until they got to the one, the only...

Kennedy Davenport.

She announced herself and Buttons’ eyes went wide.

“Davenport?”

This was the first time he spoke up since the episode started.

“Yeah! Most drag queens are part of a larger drag family and they have a drag mom. So Kennedy is in the house of Davenport and—“ Race started.

“How do they get that last name?” Buttons interrupted.

“Well it just depends, some people got it from just being friends with other drag queens but now usually it’s whoever ‘adopts’ you and kinda take you under their wing in the drag community. Your drag mom helps you out and usually has a family resemblance or a similar style yanno. Like any family!” Race explained.

“But the last name? And resemblance?” Buttons insisted.

“Geez Buttons, you’re admit aren’t you? At least you wanna learn.”

“No. Race...what’s my last name?”

“Uh?”

Race thought for a moment but couldn’t come up with anything.

“Wow. What a friend you are?” Buttons said, semi-sarcastically.

“Davenport”, Albert spoke up.

All eyes turned to Buttons.

Race’s eyes widened and you could practically see the light bulb pop over his head.

“Oh my god, B. You know what we have to do, right?”

“Uh...continue with the episode and act like nothing happened?”

“Nope! We have to put you in drag!”

“I was hoping you’d say anything besides that.”

“Oh come on, B! You’ll be perfect! You already have the Davenport resemblance—“

“—That’s racist.”

“Not racist. Anyway, your family is from Texas, and you have a gorgeous face. You’ll be a perfect Davenport!”

Something inside Buttons made him want to do it. Maybe it was seeing how excited his friends were. Maybe it was the fact that after only watching the first 2 minutes of the show he could already tell it was special. Maybe it was his own curiosity. But he couldn’t say no, his heart wasn’t letting him.

He was quite. Thinking real hard. But he just couldn’t make out the word ‘no’.

“So? What do you say, B?” Race asked, flashing his most persuasive puppy dog eyes.

Buttons let out a heavy breath.

“I mean...what‘s the worst that could happen? Right?”

Race’s face lit up and he immediately jumped out of his seat. He squealed with joy like a little girl.

“Okay Davey, call Sarah and have her bring over all her makeup and some of her nicest dresses, I’m sure they’ll be around the same size, B’s pretty thin and feminine—“

“—Hey!” Buttons butted in.

Race ignored him and kept going.

“Say it’s an emergency. I have heels he can wear so just get the rest, asap. In the meantime, B, you need to come up with your drag name.”

Davey followed instructions while everyone else got to work trying to find a good name for Buttons.

“Guys why don’t—“

“Hold on, B. I’m thinking.”

Buttons kept trying to butt in but with everyone “thinking” they wouldn’t listen.

Finally he just shouted it out.

“Guys! I already have a nickname! Can’t I just keep ‘Buttons’?”

Everyone looked at each other dumbfounded.

Why didn’t they think of that?

After all the chaos of name picking, Sarah arrived with everything Davey asked for. So they immediately got to work.

Buttons had 4 people working on his face almost at the same time. One person would start and then another would pick up where they left off; using their strengths.

After what felt like the longest and most painful thing to happen to his face, he was done...with that part.

Buttons wasn’t allowed to look in a mirror until they were all done. Race wanted something of a “big reveal”.

Race went into a room with Buttons and helped him finish getting ready.

“I don’t have any padding so we’re just gonna have to work with what you got...which ain’t a lot—“

“Hey!”

“I’m being honest! You ain’t got the proportions but we’ll just try to emph up your silhouette.”

He picked out the best dress Sarah brought—and the only one he thought would fit Buttons. It was long, gold, and fully sparkly from the neck to the floor.

“Hmm. How familiar are you with tucking?” Race asked.

“Uh?”

“I forgot this was your first time watching drag race. Uh, okay so what you do is...”

While Race explained the process of tucking, Buttons’ eyes grew wide and concerned. All Race had to do was look at the expression on Buttons’ face to know it wasn’t gonna happen.

“Alright, no tucking...got it. Okay so just put the dress on and I’ll get the heels and the wig.”

“Why do you just have a wig?”

“Why don’t you?”

Race left the room and returned—heels and wig in hand—to see a very confused Buttons trying to zip up the back of the dress.

Race couldn’t help but laugh and walked over to help him. He pulled the dress down, walking circles around his friend fixing everything into place.

He squeezed all Buttons’ curly hair under a wig cap and placed the new hair on just right. Race styled it to perfection—big, blonde, and beautiful—fit for any Davenport. Buttons had never smelt—or tasted—that much hairspray in his life.

“Step into these heels and come out when you’re ready. Give us a little runaway walk. The biggest thing about being a drag queen is confidence!”

Race left the room and went out to the living room with everyone else. They all waited anxiously to see the newest daughter in the Davenport family.

Coming out the door, Buttons was a whole new person. He switched from being the shy, nervous, and quiet Buttons all his friends knew, to a confident, flirtatious, and gorgeous drag queen that they want to know. He had his own drag persona and she was gonna live in this moment.

“Look at her though!” Race called out.

Buttons walked through the living room like she was on the main stage of Rupaul’s Drag Race.

Jack put on some runway music and Buttons owned the room.

She swayed her hips, gave some turns, and smiled her gorgeous smile. She looked like a whole pageant queen and the boys were living for it.

She was giving them body. She was giving them smile. She was giving them personality. She was giving them everything they didn’t know she had in her.

Everyone clapped, snapped, laughed, and shouted.

“You’re beautiful! You’re perfect! You look like Linda Evangelista!” Mush called out.

“You’re a model!” Jack continued.

“Buttons! Your smile is gorgeous!” Kid Blink finished.

“She’s a woman!” Kenny yelled.

“She is what?” Specs started.

“Sickening!” Romeo finished.

“Yas gawd!” Elmer called out.

“Shantay you stay, sweetheart!” Davey laughed.

Buttons finished her little walk around and couldn’t help but smile her widest smile. She still hadn’t seen what she looked like but damn she was feeling herself.

“Someone call the Davenports, they’ve got a new family member!” Albert joked.

Buttons finally looked in the mirror and couldn’t even recognize herself. She looked like a whole woman.

“You guys really went all out...I look gorgeous, henny!”

Everyone laughed.

“Am I doing this right?” Buttons asked, trying to pick up drag language and culture by just what the boys have been saying.

They all took pictures and let Buttons feel herself a little longer.

“Okay, I don’t know how much longer I can wear all this. How do they do it for so long? It’s only been 15 minutes and I’m dying!” Buttons said.

“Alright, sweetheart. Let’s bring you back down to Earth”, Race joker, walking Buttons back to the room.

While helping Buttons de-drag, Race couldn’t help but have a heart full of joy.

“Hey, B?”

“Yeah, Race?”

“Thanks for agreeing to do all this. I know it’s not really your thing but it meant a lot to us. And you looked absolutely stunning! I couldn’t believe it!”

“You know, I’m not ugly, Race”, Buttons joked.

“I know, I know. But still...thanks.”

“It was fun. I had a good time. Maybe we can do it again at some point? Maybe next time we’ll put you in drag along with me.”

“You don’t even know how long I’ve wanted to do that, B. You got yourself a deal.”

“Next time.”

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anodyne-sunflower · 6 years ago

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Smutty ABC’s for Newt Scamander (Req.)

A/N: As promised, the sexual alphabet for Newt. Again, these won’t be overly done. If you want more detail, you’ll have to request a letter for them. Enjoy! I can’t link the Headcanon game, but I reblogged it a day or so ago, so feel free to go find it. :)

***

A (Aftercare)- He’s affectionate in his own way, that semi-awkward, oddly charming behavior you come to love. There is a silence a bit after intimacy with him, but not an uncomfortable one. Just a soft silence, barely cut by the sounds of your breaths returning to normal. Newt often observes your body, gently letting his fingertips trace the curves and any fine details his curious eyes take in. He likes these moments, because nothing is more satisfying than mapping out every fine point about you.

B (Body Part)- Newt doesn’t particularly have a favorite body part of his own on him. He doesn’t much pay close attention to himself, but to you, he does. If asked what he likes physically about you, it’s everything. There is none he likes more than the other, he simply finds beauty in every part of you.

C (Cum)- There is one thing he tends to have a bit of a fondness for, and while he can’t bring himself to outright ever say it, it can be obvious to you. It’s those times he goes down on you, tongue and lips pleasuring you in so many ways you easily cave to the affections. Your cum sticks to his lips, sometimes his chin and cheeks whenever you squirm too much or can’t take it anymore. He pulls away after, laying a soft, tender kiss on your inner thigh before trailing up and hesitating above your lips. He has that spark in his green eyes, trying to compose himself but then he does it, kissing you gently and letting you taste yourself.

D (Dirty Secret)- Love marks. Newt may not always bluntly say every fetish he holds, but who needs words when there were actions. It made him smile looking at you, knowing underneath your clothes there was evidence of your lovemaking. Every small mark showing where his lips had been, sometimes on the juncture of your neck and shoulder, hidden just barely under your blouse. Or, right on your thigh, covered by the layers of your dress. You weren’t aware of his fervent gaze, but that made him smile all the more.

E (Experienced)- Newt was never the type to sleep around exactly, but that didn’t make him inexperienced. He was well versed in the anatomy of humans, just as he was creatures. He understood the complexities of it all, and even found it rather intriguing. To say he knew his way around your body, would be an understatement.

F (Favorite position)- Doggy style. While he loved watching you be pleasures beneath him, every facial expression on display, there was something far more tantalizing about viewing you from behind. He could tangle his fingers through your hair, his lips could travel down your spine and feel the delightful chills it caused. He could figure out what made you tick without having your pleasured face to go off on, and that made it entirely exciting for him.

G (Goofy)- Newt isn’t purposely goofy in bed, but it can happen. There are moments he manages to make humorous by just being himself. Being intimate in his work space was the number one cause of that. You couldn’t count all the times you’d be in the beginnings of passion only to roll over onto a Zouwu toy. Or have your jewelry stolen by a Niffler, or even your blouse, with all its shiny buttons, being dragged away.

H (Hair)- Newt doesn’t exactly take the time to always shave every part of himself. But, that’s what you believed suited him. He was well groomed enough, and there was always some delight in seeing that patch of hair as you unbuttoned his pants.

I (Intimacy)- He’s very affectionate. Whenever you or him initiate sex, there’s much foreplay. And it need not be overtly sexual at the start. Sometimes it’s brief touches, just delicate enough it’s like a soft breeze that causes a sigh of comfort. Or a few kisses here and there, trailing across heated skin and to more private areas. He undresses you slowly, sometimes looking to you for approval, or simply to watch your expression change from anticipation to full blown arousal.

J (Jack off)- Newt doesn’t really do this often, as he finds himself far too busy to worry over such matters. He’s well happy just spending those pleasurable moments with you involved. But, when he does find himself in need, and too far from home, he’ll do it in the confines of his bed or shower. He doesn’t take his time, he just envisions you and that’s all he ever needs. His strokes are rushed, somewhat sloppy on himself, but he imagines you’re there and before he cums, he bites down, fighting the groan that is begging to be released.

K (Kink)- He couldn’t recount when it started, but it was like some precious habit he had come to eagerly await. Every time you came home to him, he’d be there, nearly running up the steps of his hidden basement to the kitchen where you always placed your keys and belongings. Sometimes you’d find him out of breath, barely having made it up the steps and to you on time. He had a flustered look, but one of arousal all the same until you smiled at him. “I’m back.” You’d say, before teasingly walking up to him and barely curving a finger around one suspender and tugging him down for a kiss. You’d pull away, letting him go and giggling as he just smiled and looked away in happiness.

L (location)- Newt isn’t picky on places to have you. It could be your bed, shower, office or even in his own work space. If the moment is right, you’ll both have each other.

M (Motivation)- There are so many things that causes Newt to be in the mood, but most of all it’s just you in close proximity. It’s as if his sense kick into overdrive, and everything is slow and perfect and he feels this overwhelming need to have you. He can smell your perfume, reminding him of how well it mixed with your own scent as you made love. Or just the heat of your body near him, so warm and inviting. It would be your touch that ended him, though. No matter how innocent or meaningless, it could simply be a pat on his back congratulating him on this or that and he’d find himself gripping your wrist and silently begging you not to go just yet. Not until he could love you properly.

N (No)- Newt wouldn’t be into anything overly kinky. He wouldn’t mind introducing new toys or positions into the bedroom, but overly rough play wouldn’t be one of them. Not if it actually caused you pain, he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

O (Oral)- Newt highly prefers to pleasure you. He isn’t opposed to blow jobs, but he finds watching you in throes of passion to be a far more blissful time. He’s quite good at it as well, knowing exactly how to use his tongue and lips in unison. It doesn’t take much to bring you to the edge, almost as if he studied just the proper techniques it took to get you off. He always starts slow, tasting you, noting the movements and patterns that cause a particularly loud moan to come from you. He looks up on occasion, eyes beaming when he can see just how much you’re enjoying it.

P (Pace)- Newt starts off slow, always giving you both time to enjoy the session and build up to that high. But, as it goes on his pace becomes more desperate, sloppy, eager to reach that peak.

Q (Quickie)- Newt does not mind a quickie one bit. He likely encourages them, and finds it amusing when you come down to the basement and drag him off somewhere before you leave for the day or before bed.

R (Risk)- Newt has no issue experimenting, he is a researcher after all. It’s in his nature to take risks. If it’s something that excites you, it’ll easily capture his attention.

S (Stamina)- He’s got an average stamina, but he can go a few rounds so long as there is rest between. That being said, he’s happy to keep you entertained between sessions. Your his main concern, after all, and he’ll often pleasure you with his fingers or tongue if you’re still awaiting more.

T (Toy)- Newt doesn’t exactly own toys for you both. He wouldn’t actively seek them out either. He’s content with what you’re naturally equipped with, but he wouldn’t be opposed to them being introduced if you wanted to try it.

U (Unfair)-Newt is a tease, even if he won’t outwardly admit it. There’s something wonderful about watching you squirm and try to hold onto whatever control you have before you must beg him. He never takes it too far, but just enough to see you moan and whimper in bed.

V (Volume)- Newt isn’t very loud in the bedroom. Most of his moans and groans are bit back or muffled by him nuzzling into your neck. He’d much rather listen and hear you call out his name or some mangled form of it while in ecstasy.

W (Wild card)- Newt has this thing, where he doesn’t mind watching you bathe or shower. It’s only when you invite him to join you, but he’ll find himself standing back and intently noting every action of yours. There’s something beautiful about it, the way the water and soap slip down your skin, curving patterns that perfectly envelope your figure. He has to fight back bothering you, because he simply wants to catch the water droplets and follow their trail along the dip of your back and bottom.

X (X-ray)- Newt is of average size, and just above his cock there’s a patch of hair that leads the trail to it. It’s tempting to look at, and even better when he’s aroused.

Y (Yearning)- Newt has a pretty stable sex drive, and it doesn’t take too much to arouse him. It wouldn’t be unfair to say that if you both are around one another, he is always eager to be intimate with you.

Z (Zzz)- He doesn’t fall asleep easily at all, you often do before he does. He spends the time watching you, smiling softly as you remain peaceful besides him. He touches you gently, just enough to allow you your sleep, and runs his finger up your side. He merely wishes to admire you.

***

A/N: Damn, what a journey lol Pretty sure I wasn’t taught the alphabet as a kid just to grow up and write smut about it...but, here I am.

#eddie redmayne #newt scamander #newt fanfiction #newt scamander x reader #newt scamander fanfic #newt scamander x you #newt x you #newt x reader #newt scamander imagine

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mrs-storm-andrews · 6 years ago

Note

In reply to the "Get to know the blogger" thing! What are your favorite books of all time??

There are a few I would to regard to be among the best books of all goddamn time:

First of all, The Idiot by Fyodor Dostoewsky. I’ve read this a billion years ago at the ago of 16 and it captivated me in a way I can hardly explain. It’s the depth of the characters and the psychological finesse that really makes it worth reading.

Another book with a very special place in my heart is The Thief Lord by Cornelia Funke. It’s a children’s novel that I’ve read for the first time back in 2000 when it was released. It was the first time that I really got sucked into a fictional story. And it made me fall in love with Venice. In 2017, I eventually travelled to Venice, book in tow, to experience this place of actual magic on my own.

What surely needs to be mentioned in this list is The Lord Of The Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien. Girl, I was so obsessed with it back in the days, when the movies came out. So freaking obsessed. I’ve once build Helm’s Deep from cookie dough and wrote a poem about the books’ plot with nothing less than 96 verses. I’m not even kidding. But the obsession has never really faded. Two years ago I got a Tolkien quote and the White Tree of Gondor tattooed onto my chest. I think, Tolkien’s world is the fictional world I cherish the most.

When I was a teen, my grandfather (may he rest in peace) used to gift me with random books he regarded worth reading. All of them where amazing, but the one I enjoyed the most was And Never Said A Word by Heinrich Böll. It’s dealing with a poverty-stroken German couple after World War II. It’s bleak and it’s quite, but the atmosphere is almost palpable.

A book I’ve just recently read is Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë. When my grandma died last summer, we went to clear out her room. On her bedside table there was her copy of Wuthering Heights and I felt like reading it would bring me closer to my grandma one last time, since it apparently was the last book she has ever read. She had a great taste in literature and this book definitely proofs it. I will hold a special place in my heart forever.

G e t t o k n o w t h e b l o g g e r - Keep on asking, if you like!

#kittensoft39 #storm replies #literatur #booklover #book recommendations #ask meme #thank you for asking!!!#have a nice day

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iloveoda-san · 6 years ago

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NSFW Alphabet Meme ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Tagged by: @fourthchairman

Tagging: @mewgagotoku {{For Oda lol}}, @mmajimagoro

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

He's not that much into aftercare for himself. He feels as though he brought the pain and everything to himself he doesn't deserve the loving moments afterwards. Though if he's the one on top he'll give his partner the best aftercare he possibly can.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

For his partner its their chest. He adores muscular, large chests.

C= Cum (Anything to do with cum basically…)

He loves giving oral, and would loves to have his partner cum on his face. He likes the feeling of being filled up and the warm cum leaking out of the hole.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

If you wanted to tie him up, and whip him he wouldn't say no.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Depends on verse.

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying.)

For him to be the bottom he likes doggy or missionary. If he's the top he wants to see his lover so he prefers for them to ride him, but of not doggy style.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

He is serious, Tachibana isn't a the type of man to make jokes.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

He's very well groomed, and he likes to make sure he has little to no hair on his body. So his balls are hairless and the hair around his cock is short.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Despite his cold, emotionless outside Tachibana is in fact a romantic idiot, during the moment he will be as reassuring and doing everything he can to show and tell that he is enjoying it.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

He only masturbates when he doesn't get what he wants. Which isn't very often.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

He's a sadomasochist

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

The bed, at the window in the penthouse, the shower. Anywhere in his house or office to be quite frank.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Making out, uh to really get Tachibana going he likes to be manhandled.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)

No age play, he simply cannot stand that. No mentions of rape. No poop, or piss play.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

He likes both giving and receiving he like the feeling of the cum on his face. But he also enjoys the salty taste of it. For receiving he likes the sensation of teeth.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Depends on who the partner is and what they prefer.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He enjoys both.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

He is willing to experiment with only certain things. Nothing too crazy.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

If he's being fucked he can last for multiple rounds, if he's the top because of his low stamina and all he can only go two rounds.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He owns quite a bit of toys. He's into BDSM so he likes to punish his partner whenever the situation calls for it.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He doesn't mean to tease, but its a natural thing to him. So he's a big tease without actually trying.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

It varies on how rough or soft it is.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon…)

He's touch deprived so even placing your hand upon his knee could get him horny, though he won't admit to it.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Well, I'm not really sure about a length but I feel Tachibana's size is more than average.

Z = ZZZ (how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

Not fast at all. He stays awake to ensure that his lover is satisfied with their bout of fun.

#{{nsfw}}#{{relevant:tachibana}}

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deadcactuswalking · 3 years ago

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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 22/05/2021 (Olivia Rodrigo, J. Cole’s ‘The Off-Season’, Nicki Minaj)

Yeah, it’s a big week, given the impact of J. Cole, Jorja Smith, Olivia Rodrigo (more on that next week) and the remaining impact of the BRIT Awards. There’s a lot of nonsense on this chart, a busy as hell one at that, but this surprisingly did not affect the #1, as the remix to “Body” by Russ Millions and Tion Wayne spends a third week at the top. Let’s just attack this head on. Welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS.

Rundown

First of all, let’s get this nonsense out of the way: what happened to songs already on the UK Top 75 chart, which is what I cover? Well, a fair few of them dropped out. Any song that spent five or more weeks in the chart or peaked in the top 40 is considered a notable drop-out, and this week, they include “Wants and Needs” by Drake featuring Lil Baby off of the return last week, “Track Star” by Mooski, “Heat” by Paul Woolford and Amber Mark, “6 for 6” by Central Cee, “Patience” by KSI featuring YUNGBLUD and Polo G, “Hold On” by Justin Bieber, “We’re Good” by Dua Lipa, “Commitment Issues” by Central Cee (Gosh, didn’t think J. Cole would take a chunk out of this guy’s audience specifically), “Up” by Cardi B, “Streets” by Doja Cat and finally, “Get Out My Head” by Shane Codd, but also interestingly “i n t e r l u d e” by J. Cole dropping out off of the top 40 debut despite the album boost. This doesn’t mean it didn’t perform well but rather this is demonstrating this silly chart rule where in the top 100, one artist can only have three songs, preventing album bombs that you see on the US Billboard Hot 100. It makes the chart less accurate but arguably more diverse and hence fun for me to talk about.

There are also a few returning entries to add some fuel to this chart fire, one that has already combusted in the US this week, as “Slumber Party” by Ashnikko featuring Princess Nokia is back at #70 thanks to the video, “All You Ever Wanted” by Rag’n’Bone Man is back at #51 thanks to a delayed album boost, and the same can be said for “Addicted” by Jorja Smith at #49.

Then we have our notable losses, songs that fell at least five spots down the chart this week, including “WITHOUT YOU” by the Kid LAROI at #18, “Higher Power” by Coldplay falling big off of the debut at #25, “Your Power” by Billie Eilish at #26, “Didn’t Know” by Tom Zanetti at #28, “Heat Waves” by Glass Animals at #30, “Leave the Door Open” by Silk Sonic at #31, “Don’t You Worry About Me” by Bad Boy Chiller Crew at #39, “Latest Trends” by A1 x J1 at #46, “Last Time” by Becky Hill at #52, “All I Know So Far” by P!nk at #55 off of the debut, “My Head & My Heart” by Ava Max at #57, “Martin & Gina” by Polo G at #58, “Miss the Rage” by Trippie Redd featuring Playboi Carti dropping hard off of the debut at #60 (Really, what was expected here?), Travis Scott’s remix of HVME’s remix of Travis Scott’s “Goosebumps” at #61, “Cover Me in Sunshine” by P!nk and Willow Sage Heart at #63, “Don’t Play” by Anne-Marie, KSI and Digital Farm Animals at #65, “Sunshine (The Light)” by Fat Joe, DJ Khaled and Amorphous at #66, “Tonight” by Ghost Killer Track featuring D-Block Europe and Oboy at #71, and finally, “Calling My Phone” by Lil Tjay and 6LACK at #73.

That’s not to say there weren’t any notable gains however as we do have some interesting remnants of BRITs excitement and some other reasons for our gains this week, which include “One Day” by Lovejoy (more on them later) at #54, “It’s a sin” by Elton John and Years & Years at #47, “Way Too Long” by Nathan Dawe, Anne-Marie and MoStack at #43, “drivers license” by Olivia Rodrigo at #35 off of the success of “good 4 u” (again, more on that later), “Black Hole” by Griff at #23 thanks to the BRITs, and finally, “deja vu” by Olivia Rodrigo at #11. Really, all of this is just me stalling because this is a massive week – I’m writing this early – let’s just get through this... starting with—oh, for God’s sake.

NEW ARRIVALS

#75 – “Taunt” – Lovejoy

Produced by Cameron Nesbitt

Two weeks in a row, ladies and gentlemen: Minecraft YouTuber-core. How this happens I have no idea but regardless, the people of the UK seem to enjoy this Wilbur Soot guy’s new band. Is the new single better than the last one that charted from this EP, at least? Well, yeah, it is, mostly because at least this one’s an actual pop rock tune that, whilst derivative again, has more hooks than “One Day”, especially those stop-and-start-again verses that give me mathcore flashbacks, just with less of a catharsis to come from it other than that infectious, trumpet-laden chorus. The content is pretty gross if anything, seemingly focusing in on this past relationship from secondary school in which Wilbur tears into a girl for being insecure despite her privileges... for seemingly no reason. I mean, surely, you’ve moved on, right? Thankfully, Wilbur does get his comeuppance by the end of the song as the girl throws his drink at him, but it does leave the rest of the song with a pretty spiteful taste in my mouth that can’t be avoided by some pretty, 2000s indie rock-esque instrumentals. It doesn’t help that Wilbur Soot is such a non-presence as well, which I can see improving as the band goes on to record more material but the problem is with this early stage is that for now, it’s all rather primitive... yet it’s still charting. Oh, and if any people happen to find this that are fans of this guy, I am terrified of you so I’ll clarify that I don’t dislike this band at all, I’m just not a fan of what I’ve heard. I just wanted to put that out there because I value my personal information.

#74 – “Crocodile Teeth” – Skillibeng

Produced by Adde Instrumentals and Johnny Wonder

So last week, Nicki Minaj re-released her classic 2009 mixtape Beam Me Up Scotty onto official streaming services for the first time, with a remastered mix of some of her classic remixes as well as some new tracks or fan-favourite loosies sprinkled in. Why do I say this in reference to some random unrelated track, you ask? Well, we’ll get back to Nicki later but this song was actually remixed by Nicki and appears on that mixtape, despite baring no resemblance or relation to that mixtape at all, given this was released in 2020. The UK Singles Chart is particularly inconsistent is crediting remixes however, so we have the original here and, for what it’s worth, I quite like this. Skillibeng isn’t the most interesting presence but does his job in being vaguely menacing and violent over this cheap piano-led Afroswing instrumental with some questionable bass mastering. The song is in Patois but you can get the gist that it’s gunplay and flexing, typically stuff you’d hear in any UK drill track and it’s generic for sure but catchy enough to ignore. This version of the song is completely passable but I do think it is elevated by Nicki’s short introductory verse on the remix. I’d obviously have preferred there be more interplay but the remix was probably only known to Skillibeng when Nicki’s lawyers reached out anyway.

#72 – “Straightenin” – Migos

Produced by DJ Durel, Atake, Sluzyyy, OSIRIS, Nuki and Slime Castro

So Migos are finally preparing to release their highly-anticipated record Culture III as the boys are back together after some time apart, in which they have had varying levels of success, with Offset probably delivering the best solo material because he has both the best qualities of Takeoff and Quavo and always delivers on guest verses... I’m sorry, what about this needed six producers? This beat is not bad by any stretch with some vague flute loop eerily played under a rote trap beat, of which the bounced 808s are probably of most interest, but I do not understand how one person, let alone just an AI, couldn’t have made this alone. Regardless, the beat is good enough to make Quavo sound like he finally cares, even if he’s just going to talk about how he just saw Tenet – a bit late to the party – and how he turned a pandemic to a “band-emic”. Yeah, okay, so we’re going to ignore Mr. Quavious and move onto Takeoff and Offset who... at least have some good flows, albeit just the same triplet deliveries they’ve had for years. I think the most interesting part about this whole song is the slippery backing vocal that follows Quavo in the later choruses, which shows an attention to detail I missed from these guys. There’s only so much I can hear Quavo say “don’t nothin’ get straight ‘bout straightenin’” before I lose my mind, though, especially by the time we get to that awkward outro, so I can’t call myself a fan of this. If we’re speaking trap-rap from acts on hiatus, I really would have preferred “Lay wit Ya” by Isaiah Rashad and Duke Deuce to chart but I guess these guys will do.

#64 – “Independence Day Freestyle” – Fredo

Produced by Handz

By the end of this episode, I will never want to hear skittering hi-hats ever again. For now, however, we’ve got the same genre, different country as we go home to Fredo, a British rapper who’s pretty consistently good to be fair to him and did release an album I liked earlier this year. This is just a random freestyle he dropped last week because he felt like it, and here it is on the chart. Okay, well, it isn’t an actual freestyle because nothing that’s called a freestyle actually is in 2021, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be a trap banger in itself and it’s got the foundation for it. I love the eerie chipmunk vocal sample that adds a touch of soul to the menacing keys before they get drowned out by trap percussion and Fredo going through his typical rags-to-riches commentary and memories of gang violence in one massive verse that somehow keeps my interest throughout the entire three minutes. The flow is about as smooth as it gets with UK rap, typically a lot stiffer, especially in drill, and the mixing’s fine, so yeah, I can’t really complain. I’d have preferred a chorus, obviously, and there are extended freestyles we’ll talk about later that do this a lot better, but for now, I can dig this, especially considering it’s pretty damn quotable for what it is. “If I fell off, I must have fell off the stairs into some elevators” is a bar, as is when he says he’s got more foreign cars than an Asian wedding or when he calls himself “Lord of the Bling”... okay, maybe that one’s not as impressive.

#62 – “The Great Escape” – Blanco and Central Cee

Produced by LiTek and WhyJay

Central Cee is a more familiar name but you may not know Blanco who, despite the collaboration with Cee making it ripe for comparison and comedy, is not a French white rapper. Rather, he’s from pioneering drill group Harlem Spartans and this is actually his first solo charting song thanks to Cee’s appearance. As you’d expect, this has some loud drill production and vague acoustic guitar loop as well as some stuttering vocal production peppered with dark 808s (that do bang here in all honesty) and pointless alarm sounds. Whilst drill is so standardised now, I do actually like this beat because it’s what I want to hear Cee on; sure, it’s got the guitar and the flutes but it’s also got a sax riff, which is what made “Loading” so fun. Blanco himself is also a more charming presence than Cee and their two energies bounce off of each other pretty well, even if the most witty their punchlines get are just referencing Powerpuff Girls characters... and when they’re not basic, they’re borderline incoherent but whatever, this is a fun slice of misogyny and violence that you’d expect from the genre with at least some care put into it. Not bad at all.

#56 – “Bussdown” – Jorja Smith featuring Shaybo

Produced by Riccardo Damian, Jeff “Gitty” Gitelman and Kal Banx

This is the break-out single from the most recent “project” from Jorja Smith, going the Drake route of not bothering to name it an album, mixtape or EP, and this one features London rapper Shaybo in a track about materialism but not as much embracing it as becoming increasingly alienated by it as whilst wealth may bring you luxury and connections, it detaches you from reality, which is the point in Shaybo’s verses about being Miss Naive, someone who is increasingly aggressive as a result because, well, she always gets what she wants, right? This is not a project I listened to but the content is promising... until I actually hear the song, with its awkward, clattering percussion showered in overwhelming vocal mixing that fails in whatever intimacy it attempts to present, and that’s before the decidedly unsubtle air horns and guitar licks. The song is minimal enough for the content to kind of fall flat as well, as a song like this feels like it deserves more than a slick bass groove, rather some kind of maximalist yet subtlety eerie production. I’m thinking Shaybo would actually make more sense there than she would here as well as her awkward, pathetic-sounding flow is delivered in the most dead-pan cadence, so much so that it drifts off fully into background “vibe” music but even then, it feels too distracting in the mix to work as that. I did want to like this but it just ends up as a really disappointing track from Jorja Smith, once again.

#42 – “Seeing Green” – Nicki Minaj, Drake and Lil Wayne

Produced by GOVI and Kid Masterpiece

We’re half-way through our batch of new arrivals and what better way to celebrate than a posse cut by three rappers long past their prime by now without a chorus that pushes six minutes? Normally, that would be sarcastic, but in this case it is absolutely not as this is awesome. I love 2000s hip-hop and a chipmunk soul-inflected beat blended with early 2010s era proto-trap production is obviously going to appeal to me as that type of contrast is what I love about more lyrical hip-hop, hell, I wouldn’t have been surprised if it was said this was a Kanye beat or more accurately perhaps one by Harry Fraud. It helps that over that gorgeous soul sample we have all three rappers proving they still have it as performers, with some detailed verses from the classic Young Money crew that if nothing else provide a perfect nostalgia button for their era of dominance in hip-hop, not that it’s ever stopped since. I also just love hearing Lil Wayne hungry again, because I am a pretty big fan of his voice, delivery and even some of his wordplay and one-liners, all of which he expresses perfectly in his high-energy verse that switches through flaws as if it were all some off-the-top freestyle, and knowing Wayne, it might as well could have been. I love how he starts his verse off by shooting a guy and then saying it was his bad for doing it because he was a “good cat” and somehow it gets more off the rails afterwards, as he calls his girl a vacuum and says he’s peeing lean, before this self-proclaimed “badonkadonk bikini fiend” reminisces about his bisexual ex from Atlanta in a pretty clever use of repetition in rap. This is all with his sludged drawl of a delivery, which becomes especially important when he calls us all back to 2010 as when Wayne was in prison at his career peak, Drake always said “Free Weezy” and now 10 years later, Wayne’s saying “Free Drizzy” because Drake’s locked up in Canada because of the COVID-19 pandemic... because of course. I know it just seems like I’m itching out tiny little details in the verse but that’s what’s so great about repeated listens to detailed and great rap verses. That’s not to say Wayne is the only stand-out here either as Nicki Minaj impresses with that confident delivery she’s known for as she clarifies her beef with Cardi B being less about her “copying her homework” as it was about her up-hill battle with the industry, she recites how bitches are infamously her sons and delivers some pretty clever and quotable lines of her own, like “brand new Vanilla Maserati, I’ve been Haagen-Daszin’”... which again sounds like a bar straight out of 2010. I think the best verse here might actually be from Drake as much as I hate to say it, with bravado out of the gate that seems pretty deserved for someone with as immense success as he’s had. Not only is he referencing back to 2010 and even his Degrassi days, comparing it to the run-up to his upcoming album since he’s back on two crutches, but he’s also delivering some of his most interesting and quotable lines in years, and it all runs off so effortlessly and smoothly, but with a constant hunger and conviction reminding me of some of his deeper cuts like “Dreams Money Can Buy”. I won’t go further than I already have with this song – even though I could gladly quote practically the entirety of Drake’s verse, even when he aspires to be Vladimir Putin (I guess it’s better than accidentally comparing himself to Hitler) – but I’ve rambled on enough about this wonderful track. Triumphant lyrical rapping over soulful vocal loops will never be a thing I stop having a fondness for; these are some of my nostalgia biases creeping in – especially since these aren’t close to being the best verses any of the trio have delivered – but it’s so great hearing all three back on form together. Check this out if you haven’t as it’s absolutely a highlight off of the mixtape’s re-release.

#37 – “Build a Bitch” – Bella Poarch

Produced by Sub Urban and Elle Rizk

Bella Poarch is a name I had to search up and it turns out she is another one of these TikTok stars turned pop singers and all power to them for starting their career through such a useful and culturally important platform, honestly, and realistically, anyone regardless of their career background could make a song I enjoy, so there’s no use in dismissing them as a result, especially if I actually enjoy the concept of this song. The writing tends to be a bit childish as expected – again, more on that later – particularly when she sings lines like “Bob the Builder broke my heart and told me it needs fixing”, but the song’s theme of embracing young women for how they really are instead of Photoshopped, unrealistic beauty expectations is a message I like being expressed to her audience of teenage girls; I see it as necessary in the social media age. I do think that this message could be expressed with more tact than a Build-a-Bear parody but it never goes the slut-shaming route and is more critical of the men demanding or expecting perfection from their female partners, or on a wider scale the expectation for successful women to follow fashion and beauty trends, especially by men in their industries and fields. Poarch herself is a light-hearted vocalist kind of reminding me a bit too much of a self-serious Ashnikko but the melody in the chorus is infectious enough for me to ignore how void a personality she is. It’s harder however to ignore the stiff 808s that drown out clattering, awkward future-bass production and that drop just being really gross, kind of ruining the song in how it’s clearly a lean towards hyper-pop without fully drawing itself within that lane. Either way, this is fine, and at barely two minutes it struggles to find itself as a finished song let alone anything I can be offended by. This is remarkably okay, and that’s more than I expected.

#16 – “a m a r i” – J. Cole

Produced by T-Minus, J. Cole, Sucuki and Timbaland

These songs don’t even show up when you search them on Spotify and to be honest, I was hoping that would lead to limited success but of course, it didn’t. J. Cole’s latest album The Off-Season is yet another mediocre instalment in a dull catalogue full of rambling verses from a guy who thinks he has much more to say than he actually ends up saying, and it’s exhausting to listen let alone discuss the man’s art out of a sheer lack of personality or wit that follows his every move. His Dreamville label is filled to the brim with people more consistent, skilful and interesting than Cole has ever been so it’s just frustrating to see the label boss get all of the recognition. Regardless, I’ve never liked Cole as an artist – especially not a conscious one given the ableism, homophobia and tone-deaf exchange with Noname just last year – so I’m almost glad he’s stripped off half of the pretence of making a woke, important album. He’s just rapping on this record, which gives me the excuse to run through the rest of these consecutive bores from Cole as quickly as possible. First of all, we have “a m a r i”, a barely sufferable dud from the album scored by a blend of acoustic guitars and squelching trap percussion that fails to platform Cole’s Auto-Tuned moaning, oftentimes just aggravating and barely listenable, and sometimes disguising some pretty weak, topic-less verses for a man who claims to be focused. “Want smoke? I’m a whole nicotine company” is not the silliest bar on the album, but I’m almost convinced the song ends as abruptly as it does because Timbaland’s embarrassed that he helped produce such an underwhelming beat and not even someone praised as a modern great can save it from being worthless.

#15 – “p r i d e . i s . t h e . d e v i l” – J. Cole and Lil Baby

Produced by T-Minus

One of my favourite hip-hop releases of last year was Aminé’s Limbo, a diverse selection of tracks that ranged from conscious hip-hop about his ambitions and fears about growing up and raising children in a modern world as well as typical trap-rap flexing and R&B crooners about girl problems. All of this is smoothly stirred into a pot of personality that actually attempts to bridge a gap between older and newer generations of rappers rather than just claiming to. “Can’t Decide” is not one of my favourite tracks from that record – “Compensating” with Young Thug executes its ideas just that little bit better for me – but it’s still a fun, R&B-adjacent tune with insanely catchy hooks about Aminé’s relationships. So why did we need a J. Cole remix? This guy sucks the fun out of beats like a vacuum in a bouncy castle, as he sloppily whines in an almost emo-rap cadence over a cheaper West Coast slide he just can’t convincingly sell. Lyrically, Cole focuses on the idea of pride and how it corrupts someone’s morals, criticising the flashing of money and social isolation from the family... both of which seem like Cole’s M.O. at this point, right? Success amidst independence? Platinum without features? This time around, there is a feature however from Lil Baby, who much like Cole claims to be focused in this very focused whilst pick-and-choosing between random trains of thought in his typical frog-throat delivery. Hey, at least Lil Baby flows with less strain and unwarranted, desperate effort that Cole does, and ends up out-shining the primary artist entirely, even if he’s going to “pay silly bands to have sex on the jet”. ..What?

#13 – “m y . l i f e” – J. Cole, 21 Savage and Morray

Produced by WU10, J. Cole and Jake One

The first lines of this song are “Spiralling up just like a rich person’s staircase; no fly zone, please stay out of my airspace”. Cole, I thought pride was the devil! I understand that one can still acknowledge the flaws in their worldview whilst embracing it and engaging themselves in it – that’s really a lot of the point of rags-to-riches rap – but some subtlety or at least some explanation from someone who wants you to see him as focused, woke, hungry and a master of his craft, would have been nice, right? This is Morray’s first charting hit in the UK and I’m glad he’s here as he’s basically what differentiates this from the duo’s prior collaboration “a lot”, a song that not only banged harder but felt smoother and Hell, just more coherent, especially with some soulful production that this new collaboration glaringly rips off. Morray’s biggest hit is “Quicksand” but his mixtape Street Sermons is full of soulful and honest trap-rap that I’d absolutely recommend for gospel flavour on the surface and the lyrical detail behind the bravado being extensive and confidently delivered, especially standing out on his own with no features to speak of. He has the chorus on here and I’m surprised DaBaby doesn’t have the second verse so this could be a North Carolina anthem but we do have 21 Savage, who delivers his typical brand of cold-hearted (or rather no-hearted), stoic paranoia bars but at least that’s a personality. 21 Savage delivers a slick flow over this sample and spits the pretty simple yet profound bar of “I pray that my past ain’t ahead of me”, leading to probably the most enjoyable verse on the whole album. If you couldn’t tell, the new guys outshine the old guard so obviously with so little effort it’s kind of impressive on Cole’s part even. I’m glad this is the biggest hit from this album so far as not only is this one of the best tracks out of a slim selection but it’s big for both 21 and especially Morray, who I’m really rooting for against, say, a Rod Wave or Kevin Gates in terms of southern rap with a lot more soul and grit. Oh, and Cole, “know it’s on sight when I see you like I’m working at Squarespace”? Really? Again, it’s not the dumbest bar on the album.

#2 – “good 4 u” – Olivia Rodrigo

Produced by Alexander 23 and Dan Nigro

It’s pretty fitting to book-end a batch of new arrivals mostly consisting of hardcore gritty trap with two up-beat alternative rock tracks, and I’ll say I prefer this to Lovejoy mostly because, well, like I said with “Seeing Green”, my biases will always be on full and honest display, and as someone who’s a sucker for pop-punk of all eras, especially if it’s a female-fronted band with some youthful, raspy vocals, this will obviously hit for me. Throughout Sour, I found it hard to buy into the teenage melodrama due to Dan Nigro’s production often sounding too clean for its own sake, never allowing the guitars to really crash into some lo-fi, distorted noise like they seem to want to do on tracks like this, “deja vu” and especially the opener, “traitor”. Sadly, that cuts the chances of radio airplay by a ton more than it should, so we end up with mixing that slides off Rodrigo’s reverb-drenched vocals too smoothly, creating a rather formulaic album, unfortunate for its sheer excess of promise. With that said, this is one of my favourite tracks off of the album, if only for that funky bassline and some of Nigro’s most interesting stylistic and production choices, particularly in the drumming, which sounds as organic as possible for something that was programmed by him and Alexander 23. The sarcasm-laced post-break-up kiss-off is already not unfamiliar territory for Olivia Rodrigo and neither was it for Avril Lavigne, which this track tends to sound almost like an imitation of, down to the inconsistently PG-13 image as “screw you” is delivered with as much conviction as the actual F-bomb in the same verse. Regardless of how much it wants to consistently kill its own momentum, this janky songwriting actually reminds me of early Paramore, much of which holds a special place in my heart, so whilst Hayley Williams has been off doing her solo work – and Paramore seem to have moved on from this kind of bitter, petty pop rock anyway – this quenches that thirst pretty effectively.

Conclusion

Olivia Rodrigo bags the Honourable Mention for “good 4 u” as well as it’s one of two songs debuting this week I think are pretty damn special, the other one being “Seeing Green” by Nicki Minaj, Lil Wayne and Drake as it grabs Best of the Week. For the worst, I mean, pick your J. Cole-flavoured poison but personally I’d say “a m a r i” can be crowned Worst of the Week with a Dishonourable Mention to... great, I don’t want to seem like I hate J. Cole but nothing else here is even as bad as his Lil Baby collaboration “p r i d e . i s . t h e . d e v i l”. Here’s this week’s top 10:

Expect two more of those spaces filled up by Olivia Rodrigo next week as whilst we may not get any new entries from her the album will have an impact regardless on the chart. Otherwise, I guess we’ll have to wait and see with how a Queen-sampling BTS song wrecks the chart – probably will give both Olivia and “Body” some #1 competition – as well as new songs from Little Mix, Lana Del Rey, Polo G and Lil Nas X popping up not too far behind it. It should be just as busy next week, folks, so strap in, I suppose. Thanks for reading and I’ll see you then!

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