#..well

[starsinthenigth]

★the urge to grab that energy drink out of my fridge and drink it is strong, yet I have already drank a monster energy drink yesterday. decisions decisions...★

[astrxlfinale]

[100,000 credits have successfully been transferred to account: [lulz.io] ]

[ Please wait 5 to 7 system hours for transaction to complete. If you believe this transfer was made by mistake, call [XXX-XXXX-XXXX]. ]

HONES IN ON ONE PARTICULAR DETAIL.

Oh. These bastards thought they were slick in trying to rile his hopes and dreams. As someone who finds themselves dumpster diving in the realms of Calyx, pulling forth countless riches required riches for appropriate upkeep!

The credits sink truly was endless, that universal of law was quick to be recognized. So why not go and make this mysterious number get some feedback?

Even if it was out of order right now.

Text: I know where you live.

Text: And I won't hesitate to turn it into some ground pancake all of your neighbors can laugh at.

Text: I am indeed, not making this a happy, fun haha type of game.

...

Why does he get this viscerally detailed over text??

[bugflies00]

no but they were so right he's so pookie bear in this image

[breadstickposting]

i am not living, laughing, or loving in these conditions

[razzafrazzle]

Just Checking In! (aka Something About Red Triangles)

[valtsv]

stuck between "psychological horror statement" and "objectively the funniest thing you could say to your real flesh and blood dad" in the father's day card aisle

[possessable]

[podcastwizard]

you know that post that's like "if thinking naruto would be proud of you for brushing your teeth gets you to brush your teeth go for it" well today i texted my friends and asked them to pretend to be wizards sending me on a grand quest to eat lunch and buy hand soap and it worked so well i put a load of laundry in and did the dishes too so. i don't know what the lesson is here but maybe give that a try

[jammboe]

Pangaea miku

[evidently-endless]

i think we should remind musicians they can absolutely make up little stories for their songs btw. it doesn’t have to be about them at all. you can invent a guy and put him in situations to music. time honoured tradition in fact.

[theboxfort]

Peace and love

[bonesandthebees]

one of the most infuriating things about becoming an adult is when you realize that it actually is 10x easier to solve problems by making a phone call vs literally any other communication method

[snakesinsocks2005]

Pin for survivors

[sadclowncentral]

my family is fucking addicted to macgyvering and it's becoming a problem. every time something in this house breaks, instead of doing the sensible thing of replacing it or calling someone qualified to fix it, we all group around the offending object with a manic look in our eyes and everyone gets a try at fixing it while being cheered on or ridiculed by the rest.

it's a beautiful bonding activity, but the "creative" fixes have turned our house into a quasihaunted escape room like contraption where everything works, but only in the wonkiest of ways. you need a huge block of iron to turn on the stove. the oven only works if a specific clock is plugged in. the bread machine has a huge wood block just stapled to it that has become foundational to its function. sometimes when you use the toaster the doorbell rings. and that's just the kitchen.

it's all fun and games until you have guests over and you have to lay out the rules of the house like it's a fucking board game. welcome to the beautiful guest room. don't pull out the couch yourself you need a screwdriver for that, and that metal rod makes the lamp work so don't move it. it also made me a terrifying roommate in college, because it makes me think i can fix anything with enough hubris and a drill. you want to call the landlord about a leaky faucet? as if. one time my dad made me install a new power socket because we ran our of extension cords

[thattripleabattery]

[sleepygaymerdisease]