#...more rambling incoming
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Points I took from Simon Barry's latest interview
the Tarask attack in season one was supposed to happen on a train???
Mother Superion was supposed to die in season two and Mary would replace her role as superior (and take vows as result)
Ava would come back evil in season 3 (not in a deliberate way) and act as Reya's weapon.
Beatrice has gone missing and the OCS needs to go out and search for her because she's the only one who can snap Ava out of her mindset.
"Beatrice would have to save her in an emotional/psychic/loving way..."
Ava wouldn't age (physically) on the other side.
Lilith killed her mother (in end of season two)
#warrior nun#ava silva#sister beatrice#simon barry#evil ava confirmed#obviously it was a lot that i didn't include buuut#can we talk about how he was planning for mary to take superions place#and the focal point in season three would be (their love) and how beatrice saves ava from self destruction#...more rambling incoming
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aside from my rice here’s a doodle dump of my timeskip johto kiddos all scribbled during classes! forgot to upload this some time ago but it's a mix of silly doodles, profile studies and outfit ideations 📝
#kagoodles#pokemon gsc#pokemon hgss#rival silver#trainer kris#trainer ethan#trainer lyra#tag wall incoming guys waHA#practicing with profiles is fun but keeping consistency at various angles? hoogh#alright time for more rambling abt these guys (specifically lyra and ethan) for a bit :D#I wanted lyra's champion dress to have a bit more inspo from filipiniana dresses but also retain parts from her sygna suit in pmex!#celebi inspired to honor her role as ilex's shrine protector when her grandparents pass that torch to her#not sure of a specific battle gimmick but it would involve hp recovery and defense/sp def buffing with a mix of lessening critical hits#and then she hits ya with the steel chair equivalent azumarill backed with huge power + belly drum!!!!!!!!! sweep em girl!!!!!!!!!!#silver and lyra would be the last guys you'd face for double battles at the battle tower but Watch Out#what else what else uhhh ETHAN#ethan's revolves around the pokeathlon so he's a bit more showy in competition compared to when he does photography work#he can jump between being a popular pokeathlete to intensely focused on taking wildlife pictures with like. several 'mons surrounding him#very dedicated to his research and study; his friends would find him in crazy phototaking positions just to take a pic of a heracross#i think it'd be funny that ethan and kris are rivals at the pokeathlon they would have some beef (they'd tally wins against each other)#I haven’t forgotten abt everyone else tho I have so much on the mind I wanna draw#maybe I’ll finish some of these doodles for when I feel like working on my neocities but website building is a whole beast in and of itself#but I’ll persevere if the results come out decent >:]
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i do a light chuckle once i remember hofmann and semmelweis are friends but then i remember semmelweis and marcus' suitcase interaction where they talk about her and i am once again inconsolable about this old woman's death
#reverse 1999#semmelweis#greta hofmann#certified storm moments#i miss hofmann so bad i know ill start sobbing when someone brings her up again in chapter 7#r1999 shitpost#i still think their canon ages are bullshit and theyre both older than canon in my head but yeah semmelweis is half hofmann's age (19 to 38#bluepoch i prommy you won't start profusely bleeding income if you make a character older than their mid twenties. i promise you that#nothing more but hofweis rambling after this you have been warned#anyways you mightve seen me here or there mention that i ship these two and. yes the age gap is a central theme to how i percieve them#semmelweis lived the dream (see how i say this in past tense) she bagged that old woman </3#the inherent angst of your partner being so much younger than you and close to death thanks to a terminal illness yet in the end#its actually you that dies first. and she ends up finding a cure to illness and ending up immortal. something something 'i will never see#how old age looks on you. you are breaking my heart.' and how it applies to both of their perspective towards the other#one went to vienna to (unknowingly) die and the other went there to live#koshka-sova said it best its a pair that dances round life and death. and can't forget about the inherent workplace yuri#also its funny thinking of marcus unwittingly finding out through either her arcane skill or some other method her mentor's coworker-friend#got it on with her. like i think the two start bonding because of hofmann but then one day marcus approaches her with haunted eyes and#shakily goes 'd...did you. did you and madam hofmann..? my arcane skill said. that you and. did you two......?'
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Thoughts on Different Types of Representation in Doctor Who (and how fandom responds to it)
So I watched Rogue last night and - okay first, oh my days, absolutely ADORED it, this is definitely my favourite episode of this season, it was just so much FUN and it hooked me right from the start. And then the queerness! I was actually thinking to myself whilst watching it how wonderful it was because it felt like a queer story in a way that wasn't like, showboating about how progressive it was? [editorial aside: this is not comparing it to anything in particular, just a general observation]. The characters were just queer, within this wild and wonderful sci-fi story, but also their queerness wasn't the Only Character Trait they had and their story didn't resolve around their queerness, but their queerness was crucial to the plot in a way that was just lovely to see - and as a writer myself, it's personally the way I love to see our stories being told.
But then I made the mistake of going into the tag - always a foolish thing to do, because for some reason everyone loves to praise this era by criticising the previous era (as if it hasn't been criticised enough...like we know most of y'all hate Chris Chibnall for committing no worse crimes than Moffat and RTD before him...we know). And I found a couple of folks talking about how this episode alone did more for queer representation than the entirety of thirteen's era, whiiiiich at first really Peeved Me Off - like didn't these people understand how important Yaz's arc (especially Eve of the Daleks) was to a LOT of people? But then I was like 'well actually this is interesting', right? Because I think there's two very different kinds of representation going on here - and they're both very important in different ways, but one tends to get lauded as brilliant rep and one always gets put down as not good enough, or even bad rep. And what's the main difference? Whether the characters have a gay kiss or not.
So I just thought I'd share some of my thoughts and feelings on this, and why I think both these kinds of rep are equally important! To be clear from the get-go though - this is definitely not me ragging on anyone who likes more about one than the other (in fact, I think everyone likes one more than the other). This is merely a personal essay about it and the frustrations that comes when people in general do lift one up over the other. I'm gonna put it under the cut though, because it might get a bit long!
So, back when Eve of the Daleks aired, I remember having a lot of conversations about the representation in that episode - in particular with a very good friend of mine, who is a lesbian. And we realised that when it came to rep, we both actually wanted pretty different things. I'm aroace and genderfluid, and so a lot of what I saw in how thirteen was written - especially in terms of her gender (or lack thereof), and also her apparent lack of attraction (at least, in how I read it) was just incredibly affirming to me. I've never EVER seen a character on screen that I could see myself in both in terms of sexuality and gender. Whereas my friend saw things quite differently - thirteen was a lesbian, and they wanted to see that kiss between these two characters, because for them too, it was so rare to see that, and, in their words, they wanted to have their cake and eat it too. And we both realised that the reason that queer representation can feel so intense and important is, simply, because there isn't enough of it. We're all desperately reaching for the same small portion - and none of it is ever going to please everyone, or resonate with everyone. The stakes are too high.
So then, when there wasn't this dramatic romantic ending to Yaz's story, when there was no queer kiss, I was very sad for my friend, who didn't get that representation, but so painfully relieved for myself - because I got mine. So then it sucked a lot to see a lot of people getting really angry that this wasn't queer representation, that this was even homophobic - I even had someone tell me that aromantic representation in this regard was always going to be homophobic, because no-one would ever write it to be aro rep, and would instead only ever write it to avoid writing a gay kiss. And the thing that got me the most was that, REGARDLESS of whether they kissed or not, regardless of how you read either of the characters, there was one thing that was certain:
Yaz was queer. In text. Her emotional plotline centred around her realising that she was attracted to the Doctor (who was presenting as a woman - although, again, I don't think she really identified as such). The fact that she and the Doctor didn't get together by the end does not erase that fact.
They didn't kiss - but so what? Are queer people only queer when they're kissing someone of the same gender, or having gay sex? Are queer people not queer in their day to day lives, when they're not doing any of those things? Are queer people not queer when they're not dating? Are queer people not queer when they're trans, when they're ace, when they're aro, when their queerness doesn't resolve around attraction to the same gender?
And, to be honest, I think a lot of my feelings around this stem from the sort of exclusionist rhetoric that we saw a LOT of towards the ace/aro community back in 2012 that we still see now, that we're seeing towards the trans community now, that we're still seeing towards bi people, for pete's sake. It's this in-community infighting, pushing each other down to try and get up to the top, to keep all the "resources" for "the people who really need it", and it causes a serious amount of harm - but the truth is (and to bring this back to doctor who) that it all comes back to what me and my friend were discussing. We're all scared, all desperate to be seen - and when we are seen, it's the most incredible experience and the idea of losing that (or having someone else undermine it) feels inexpressibly awful. Having the thirteenth doctor...I suddenly realised this is what all the straight cis white dudes get all the time. She was like me, and that was indescribable. And then losing her - and having RTD not even be able to have a man wear her clothes because he was too worried about what the tabloids would say to be able to show a gnc person on tv...and then constantly described her as The Woman Doctor for the next entire episode - that hurt. A lot.
I've spoken to other friends who felt so seen in the character of Yaz - those people who realised they were queer later in life, those who fall in love with people and it doesn't end up going anywhere, those who don't get the whirlwind queer romances that people often call 'good representation'. Myself and many of my aspec friends have felt so seen in thirteen's almost entirely romance-less arc, and myself and my trans/genderqueer friends felt very seen in the way that thirteen's character would have been exactly the same if she'd been a man - the only difference was how the other characters around her interacted with her. Gender was something that happened to her. And when I watch episodes like Rogue, even though I don't relate to that representation, I just feel overwhelmed with joy because I know how important it will be to others that I care about. I think my sadness then comes from the fact that the way Thirteen and Yaz were written are just as important to me and many people that I know, but because they didn't kiss, it's not considered queer enough. Am I not queer enough, then? Are my friends not queer enough?
We need more episodes like Rogue, like The Parting of Ways, like Praxeus, like The Doctor Falls, because they are unquestionably and unapologetically queer, in a way that can't be avoided. We also need more episodes like Eve of the Daleks, like The Haunting of the Villa Diodati, like the rest of thirteen's era where the representation is an undercurrent throughout the whole story - but also undeniable, in a way that Yaz's story arc is, even if it doesn't end in a kiss, even if it doesn't end neatly and happily. Personally, I definitely would love to see more stories focused on aromanticism and on transness (especially ones that are written by trans people for trans people, rather than by cis people for cis people), but that's probably going to be down to people like me and other writers that I know actually getting into the script writing industry - and that depends on the people who are already there letting us in. One thing that I've always appreciated about Chibnall is that, after leaving Doctor Who, he began a programme for training up new showrunners with ITV, because: "showrunners are the gatekeepers and too many of the gatekeepers look like me."
Anyway, I probably have more thoughts that I've forgotten, but that's generally the gist of it. I think the more we fight over whether rep is 'good' or 'bad', relating to whether we see ourselves in it or not (rather than 'is this genuinely harmful or unhelpful', which I think is a more crucial question) the more the waters get muddied. We have different needs and wants, and no single episode is going to represent every facet of our community. But each episode, each story like this is a step in the right direction - and even rep that isn't perfect (I have thoughts about The Star Beast, for example) is still extremely positive and important, and definitely something that should be celebrated, even as we keep looking to the future for what we would like to see done differently, done better. And some day, I hope, there'll be so much queer rep, it'll be so normal, that those stakes won't feel so high anymore. It won't feel like everything hangs on how a certain show or storyline or episode is written. We'll all be seen. And that will be absolutely fantastic.
#taka rambles#doctor who#fifteenth doctor#doctor who spoilers#dw rogue#ncuti gatwa#the doctor#fifteen#lgbt+#queer#so to be clear BOTH KINDS OF REP ARE IMPORTANT BOTH ARE GOOD#WE NEED BOTH#and some people will like one more than the other#the issue I have is when people act like one kind is lesser#anyway!!#really REALLY loved this episode#i also have a lot of thoughts about like...queer characters being mentioned in the background?#I think that's cool and important but it's frustrating when that's the only rep we get#half formed characters in the background who get mentioned once#i think fundamentally that the aro/ace/trans/genderqueer crowd (sweeping generalisation incoming)#need different things to the wlw/mlm crowd#which is not a bad thing until people start acting like one is more important than the other#they're both important!#and in fact there are people who fall into both categories so SKSKS
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it's time now. it's time to imagine the brightest future you can, and talk about it.
a future where people only work 8 hours a week and everyone's basic needs are met. a future where we are more connected to nature and eat seasonal, local produce. a future where you look out for your neighbours and they look out for you. a future where you actually know who your neighbours are. a future where everyone is just a lot more relaxed and able to do whatever they want to do - this 8 hour working week has given people their lives back and now they're able to make community events, work in community gardens, sing and dance and spend time with their kids, play whatever sport they want, travel, read, create art and music.
People are interacting with each other in good faith again because money as an ulterior motive has all but disappeared. Cus you see a few decades ago they made profits illegal. All money has to be put back into the company and CEOs can take home a salary only, no bonuses and it can't be more than 3x what the lowest paid employee makes. You can go to jail if your company is found to make profits, advertise on a large scale or pay its high ranking members more than what's allowed.
Jail still exists but mostly people go in for financial crimes (greed still exists); drugs are decriminalised and available to use safely. people are not as desperate now so there's been a massive reduction of violent and petty crime and most of the people who still do this are teenagers who get away with a slap on the wrist. police are not armed anymore and are heavily penalised if they abuse their power or hurt a civilian, and their role is more that of mediator, signposter (to community services, social services, and free and accessible healthcare including for mental health) and security. together with the former military they make up an "emergency task force" which are called upon in times of need and crisis, for floods, fires, other such disasters.
the stock market completely collapsed after profits were made illegal and people had to find other ways to figure out what a company was worth: such as how they treat their staff or how accessible their processes are. as a result of this, as well as more widespread disability thanks to Covid and an ageing population, accessibility is fucking incredible now. most places are accessible to the vast majority of disabled people even without them having to ask for a single thing. If they have to ask, accommodations are made quickly and without fuss and this is completely normal now. disabled people are more visible than ever in public life and this has led to a generally kinder, more tolerant public life.
Everything is slower now. Social media as we know it died decades ago and Internet 4.0 is efficient, will find you accurate answers and the websites you're looking for very easily and fast. there's monopoly laws restricting how large companies operate online. online ads are all but illegal - there's "phone book" esque pages where you can promote your business or service and that's allowed but not anywhere else. Lots of people are still annoying and some of them are still cruel but overall living together as humans has gotten so much more chill. We've tackled climate change and reversed much of it, now it's a global day of mourning whenever a species is found to be extinct through human intervention. these days used to happen much more frequently but it's very rare these days. Most everyone gets the day off and is encouraged to read about the lost species or hold themed funerals. Globally everything has gotten better - there's much more global equality now after a bunch of western/formerly colonising countries almost self destructed and then instead decided to own up for colonialism, pay reparations to a lot of countries in Africa Asia and Latin America, as well as indigenous nations of North America, Oceania, even in Europe. The USA doesn't exist anymore instead its a whole host of separate nations all managed by the native people whose land it is. The UK doesn't exist anymore. England is still sad about it but Wales, Scotland, Ireland and Cornwall are called Cymru, Alba, Eire and Kernow again and they've formed a Celtic Union for better collective bargaining power in the EU (which still exists, somehow. Its better now. England may still be out of the EU I'm not sure). Migration is common and foreigners are welcomed into any country with open arms.
I may try to write something about this. I have a vision for a future and it's so lovely. Here, on earth, with the starting point being now. We have a lot to work with and only a few changes could make such a difference. Demilitarisation, UBI and maximum working hours, greedy financial practices made illegal. Conservation and education on local plants and nature and food. Community building on every level. Giving people their lives back.
This is all extremely possible. If it were up to me, very little in society would be left unchanged but it would all be people friendly changes. changes that aim to support the poorest and most marginalised, changes that aim to punish greed and exploitation. It's a work in progress of course. But I have a vision for a better world and dammit if I'm not going to share it with you.
#i need a tag for my own rambles#hopepunk#solarpunk#community building#decolonialism#demilitarize#ubi#universal basic income#defund the police#public healthcare#free healthcare#please feel free to add on#i need to expand on this more cus i have so many thoughts on this
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of all the star wars movies, which of them do y'all 1) enjoy the most 2) consider the best quality and 3) think you've rewatched the most. add your answers in the reblogs or replies, i'm genuinely curious how much of an overlap there is within everyone's three answers. mine don't overlap at all! they're revenge of the sith, empire strikes back, and the force awakens :^)
#len speaks#star wars#revenge of the sith#empire strikes back#the force awakens#not tagging more films than that bc i cant b bothered. incoming tag ramble ahead bc i have sw brainrot rn and im making it everyones prob❤️#i rlly struggled 2 remember if id watched tfa or aotc more. i went w/ tfa bc it was formative to me as a teen and ive seen it probably 6ish#times? whereas aotc was the first sw movie i remember (specifically the scene of obiwan serving c*nt in the bar lmao) but i've only seen it#for sure 4.5 and maybe 5.5 times. the .5 is from when i got bored after obi-wan's scene ended and ran off to go play in the mud or smthn 😭#i'm sure tfa will eventually get surpassed in number of rewatches by aotc and rots bc i don't fw the direction of the ST but that's my#current ballpark estimate of my total number of rewatches#as an adult tho if i just wanna watch a star war i'll go with aotc bc it's fun and ends semihappily and i can turn my brain off for the#spinny lightsabers. it's great background noise or for if you're sick or whatever. rots on the other hand? i won't talk through that unless#i'm quoting it with my brother and i am LOCKED IN 100% entirely entranced by it all#i almost picked rogue one for the best quality answer but i think the character writing is weaker and the facial cgi is creepy. esb beats#it by a hair imho bc of that. the vader hallway scene goes hard tho!!!#also i'm not covering shows or games or books or anything else in this post - simply the films. might ask abt shows later but that might#also give me hives bc so many of the shows suck ass and i don't rlly want ppl extolling the virtues of t.bb in my notes 💀#and yes i do think one's enjoyment and one's opinion of quality are two things that often overlap. but sometimes you just like something#bad and that's awesome. like rots is the best of the prequels by a large margin and i adore the opening and characters and many of the#scenes but that doesn't mean it's the best star wars has to offer ykwim? it's my specialest most favoritest sw movie but that doesn't blind#me to the dialogue lmfaooo
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man what’s got him so flustered huh
@sonderfairy
#definitely not arcade#nooooooo never what are you even talking about#they’re just besties trust#the moth prince#the moth prince fanart#fern tmp#fercade#it’s implied but I’m tagging that anyways LMAO#obligatory tag ramble incoming#so I binged the moth prince yesterday#and I fear it is taking over my mind#so I decided to sketch fern for my warmup today#as a treat for myself#he is so incredibly silly I couldn’t resist I am but a mere human#if you haven’t read the moth prince#DO IT DO IT NOW#I AM HYPNOTIZING YOU#it is v good and the art is hype as hell#anyways#I will be drawing fern more#and arcade probably#it’s easier to draw fern in my style so this is all I had the brain power to do for now LMAO#I love drawing fantasy characters smmmmm#ok ramble over READ THE MOTH PRINCE DO IT RN
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gave into the demons finally making the lethal company lu au
#linked universe#lu legend#lethal company#lethal universe? linked company?#tbd#i was gonna wait until i had more done but im lazy and didnt wanna draw the next guy on my list#will post multiple together next time though#rambles incoming#wanted to give legend his hat but didnt want to give him a hat so i kinda took fours hood#sorry four#is it safe to have your hair out on a inter dimensional hazardous moon? who knows#im imagining legend as kinda a jack of all trade yk. he can do everything but doesnt have a “specialty” per se#kilo art
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me @ Colin Bridgerton in s3
#Bridgerton#Bridgerton season 3#Colin Bridgerton#Polin#Colin x Penelope#Luke Newton#sir congratulations on your performance#it absolutely killed me#Vi rambles#more bridgerton thots incoming...
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hi!! I just wanna say I absolutely LOVE how you draw barnaby it’s so cute!!! also here’s a picture of my oc hehehee 🫐🌈🫐
hi! thank you! im quickly becoming Very attached to him! have a joke that i totally didn't look up!
#hes very Soft to scribble.... and slightly irritating since his proportions are wild but yk i like a challenge#also your oc is cute <3#scribble salad#rambles from the bog#also - barnaby ramble incoming -#he has a lot of potential i think as a character#i cant wait to see the intricacies of Him and how he unfolds#i have a feeling he's going to be deeply miserable! and/or tragic!#comic relief characters are always the saddest motherfuckers around#or at least comedy-based characters yk yk#bro is covering Somethin with those jokes....#with every day the Update looms closer#the closer it gets the more nauseous i feel. in an overly excited Oh God Its Happening way#also im scared lmfao
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the price of recognition
#flele art#fanart#2024#project moon#limbus company#hong lu#hong lu lcb#rodion lcb#rodya lcb#this is actually kind of old but i never had the courage to post it until now since it was self indulgent#ok long ramble on the tags incoming#i hope to GOD rodya goes apeshit in canto 8#but also like. yknow how hong lu is special because of the jade eye#i think it'd be fucked up if she like. saw how he was treated specially. with such preferential treatment from granny jia#but also sees how... the jia family also treats hong lu like ABSOLUTE ass#like yeah he's special. but ultimately... he doesn't actually have much freedom#treated less like a person and more like a doll you put up for ornamental purposes.#a jewel. a piece of decoration.#recognized sure! but at what cost. would it really be worth it?#anyway i hope rodya mercs one of the jias
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hhau rescue rambles - part II
>> part I here // hhau masterpost here <<
The hermits are here to take Scar home but Grian is gone and Scar can’t leave without him, even if the others would promise to look for him. (They won’t find him, they won’t, they won’t. Scar knows how vast these forests are. He knows how many hiding spots there are tucked away if one knows where to look.) (They don’t know where to look.)
They’re not listening to him. He’s half-feral and panicked and desperate, barely making any sense. He keeps saying he needs to find Grian, but he looks half-crazed, clothes stained by a huge amount of blood and—
If it looks, a little bit, like he’s just in frenzied denial of some grief? That maybe something happened and Grian isn’t here anymore? The world is permadeath, after all. The rescue party isn’t sure what to think.
Of course they promise to look for Grian. Of course they’ll try. But first, let’s get you somewhere safe, Scar.
Scar panics and backs away and says he isn’t going anywhere until they find Grian. He’s so so afraid they’ll take him away and he’ll never find him. (He keeps imagining that wretched scream he heard that very first day he found Grian, a year ago. How close of a call that was.) (He thinks of finding him after the mimic incident, barely surviving. Wounded and bloodied and ready to collapse.) (He thinks of Grian sobbing as he begs Scar to never leave him again.)
He can’t leave him behind. He can’t.
He won’t.
He’s done everything he can up to this point and if this is his last fight? Then damn it, he’s going to go out swinging. He is going to find Grian. Even if he has to fight his saviours. (They’re enemies if they’re trying to separate him and Grian—)
He growls and lashes out and his vex magic comes through. The hermits are stunned and a little bit afraid and a whole lot confused. They’ve never seen him like this, hair white and claws ready to tear. (Cub, especially, is terrified of this development. Knowing that if Scar pushes himself too far in his vex form, he could die.)
They try to placate him, calm him down, reassure him. They try to get the damn teleportation bracelet on him. They keep telling him they can take him home, it’s okay, Scar, it’s okay.
It’s not okay.
He isn’t leaving without Grian, and he isn’t trusting anyone else with this.
So he runs.
He runs from his friends—from people he loves with all his heart; people he thought he’ll never see again. Runs from the promise of home and safety and this hell being finally over.
He runs, because he can’t take the salvation if he can’t share it with Grian.
Everything’s a bit of a blur as he rushes through the forest, looking for something to tell him where Grian is. He’s fully in his vex form, senses sharp and heart panicked, calling out, desperate for Grian to reply.
There’s no answer.
Scar sees it, then: a handful of ripped-out feathers and blood.
His heart jumps into his throat, but he laser-focuses and starts following the trail. The world feels askew around him, his steps urgent, his breaths hovering near growls that want to threaten the whole forest if anything dares to hurt Grian more. (He hopes Grian’s still out there.) (He has to be. He has to be—) (Why is he not replying to Scar’s calls, then?)
Scar’s aware that if he can follow the trail of blood, so can others. He needs to be better than them. Faster. (He needs to be a better hunter than them.) He knows that if he’s following the trail now, maybe someone already followed it. (He tries not to let that thought in. That he might be too late.)
He’s trailed by the hermit rescue party. They scramble in his wake, trying not to lose him. They lag behind, losing sight of him, but Cub staggers to follow his vex bond with Scar, like a tether, trying to hold down the swell of warning anxiety at the fact that Scar is in his vex form. Scar looks feral, he lashed out and ran from them, clothes stained by blood and hair white—
Them following just makes Scar feel hunted. His instincts go haywire and put him more on edge.
He keeps going.
He keeps calling out, too. Uncaring that he’s attracting every hunter in the vicinity. He can take them. He will happily attract them to himself if that means they won’t go after Grian instead. (The fact that he’s searching for Grian gets a bit tangled up in him. The fact that if he succeeds, he’ll just be bringing the hunters to Grian fails to quite register. He’s not thinking very straight.)
Hermits hear those wails, echoing through the forest. He sounds like a wandering spirit.
Inhuman.
Lost.
--
Grian is hurt. Hand pressed against the spot on his side that bleeds, he sits curled up, pressing himself into some bushes for a moment of reprieve—just a moment, just a little bit, please, please.
He hears Scar’s calls from far away. He hears them, and his heart tears itself to pieces.
He is terrified and hurting, and it feels dangerously close to a despair-filled memory.
He tries to shield himself from it. There’s a reason he ran. There’s a reason why Scar should stay away from him. He can’t— He shouldn’t— He—
Scar draws closer. Grian can hear his sobbing and heaving. His pleading, so heartrendingly desperate. “Grian please. Grian answer me.”
Grian finds himself cautiously standing up, every muscle taut. His heart is rabbity fast, fear clogging his throat.
He doesn’t mean to answer. He really, really doesn’t mean to. (He needs to keep Scar away.) Yet a distressed chirp slips through anyway, like a terrified call, begging for Scar.
The sound of it pitches something in Scar. His sobbing changes to panic and dwindling hopefulness. “Grian…?”
There’s a tinier chirp then. Scared. Still involuntary.
Grian is so so afraid and he should know better, but a part of him is desperate for Scar.
The moment he sees Scar, though, the futility rips through him. No. He isn’t meant to— Scar shouldn’t be near him. Because Grian’s been gone so shortly and yet the hunters have already found him. He’s already gotten hurt. He is a beacon.
He can’t stay near Scar. It’ll get Scar hurt.
It’ll get Scar killed.
(Everything good that stays near Grian dies—)
He needs to get away from him.
He backs away. Tells Scar, in a wobbly voice, not to approach.
Scar doesn’t care. He needs to get to Grian. He needs to get to him, they can go home, this can all be over.
Running on some faulty reasoning, Grian tries to get away. It’s useless, he is in no state to outrun Scar—he can’t bring himself to fly and he’s bleeding, dizzy on panic—but he feels like he needs to try, anyway.
His feet feel heavy beneath him, the world unsteady. Scar is behind him and Grian’s heart begs him to stop, turn around, and burrow into his arms. (He can’t he can’t he can’t—)
It takes only a couple of steps for Grian to trip over some roots, the world as cruel to him as ever, sending him plummeting harshly down in a rough tumble of leaves and limbs and feathers. A pained, fearful yelp gets punched out of him on impact.
Scar’s next to him in an instant, kneeling down and gathering him in his arms. Crying as he buries Grian in a hug, terrified he might try to run again. Frantically telling him, “Grian, it’s over, it’s over, we can go home— Please—”
Grian’s sobbing against him, held in place, unable to understand what Scar is saying. He just wants Scar to get away from him and stay safe. (Grian can’t be safe. He’s been doomed from the start. He’s been doomed this whole time.) (He’ll end up like that bird. Dead, with wings ripped off—)
The words “it’s over” mean nothing to him. All he manages to choke out is, “There is no— There’s no home anymore.” They’ve had their safety ripped away from them over and over again. They’ve been showed that they can’t have a home anymore; this world will not allow it. Nowhere is safe. Nowhere is safe, as long as Grian’s wings are bright violet and attached to his spine.
Scar insists, a series of reassurances, words tripping over each other as he tries to keep his hold on his voice. He says they’ll be okay. He says they don’t have to run anymore. Please, Grian, we can go home.
But it’s not a concept that exists anymore for Grian; it refuses to register in his mind, words sliding right off him, incoherent.
What he knows is this: he failed to protect Scar, and they don’t have a home to go back to, and Grian is sure the hunters are about to show up, any second. He’s so tired and terrified, and he needs Scar to be shielded from this fate. He needs him to be safe.
Scar isn’t letting go of him. His grip is firm as he continues to plead with Grian. He doesn’t want to be rough, he’s never been forceful with Grian, but he can’t let go now. Even as Grian paws at him and tries to push him away.
Grian’s crying so hard; his efforts to get free are all frantic and urgent, yet half-hearted. (He wants to give in and bury himself in the protectiveness of Scar’s arms.) (He wants all of Scar’s promises to be true.)
And yet something tips askew.
Because Scar’s never been forceful with Grian.
He was always so gentle. He’d never grab him like this, with so much force. So much insistence.
Grian is hit with a dizzying, nauseating thought. Is this a trap? Is this a mimic?
Grian starts chirping. More of those distressed, scared noises as he can't get free of Scar's grip.
It’s the first time ever that Scar won’t heed Grian’s requests to be let go. Not even if Grian says it hurts. He won’t let go he won’t he won’t. He’ll drag him home if he has to.
Grian’s scared and confused, all his thoughts are jumbled, running on rampant trauma responses and unadulterated panic. He can’t deal with any of this. He keeps trying to wrangle free and push Scar away (is it even Scar???), begging him to let go, but it’s so horribly weak. It’s almost nothing. He just chokes on sobs and hyperventilates. (He feels caught.) (He feels like Scar will get killed because of him.) (He doesn’t know what’s happening.)
It’s awful. It’s wrong. It’s— It’s not what it’s meant to be.
This should be easy. This should be the best day ever! They can go home!
Instead, it’s like a panicked final showdown and Scar feels like it’s him against everyone. The hermits weren’t listening to him (Grian needs him, he needs him, he needs him), and now Grian isn’t listening to him either. (He can’t comprehend what Scar’s saying at all, and isn’t that so heartbreaking?) (Scar is desperate to get through to him. To calm him down enough so that this could be anything more than Scar forcefully holding him as Grian chokes on panic.) (The kind of panic he should never feel in Scar’s arms—)
Voice breaking, Scar pleads, over and over again. Please, Grian. Please. It’s okay. It’s okay, we can go home, we’ll be alright. It’s me. It’s me, I got you, we’re gonna be safe.
It’s the kiss he presses to Grian’s hair that tips the scales a little, just enough for Grian’s chirps to mute, his sobbing drifting off into softer cries. He goes limp under the affection, still terrified, still trembling and choking on air, but now he’s pressing himself against Scar instead of trying to get free.
“G, do you understand what I’m saying?” Scar begs in a wavering voice, unbecoming of his feral appearance. He holds onto the magic prickling along his skin, alert for any sort of danger, anything that so much as tries to approach and hurt Grian. His hands are still clawed. His hair is still white. His veins are still stuffed with unending desperation.
Nothing is over yet.
It should be. It should be, but it isn’t.
Not yet, not yet.
The hunters find them before the hermits do.
-- part III here
#ange rambles#ange writes#hhau#yes this was just an emotional mess wasn't it#grian is so lost amidst all the trauma rn#he's not processing anything right#had really fun with throwing in the “what if mimic” panic bit#they deserve that after their experiences#also. just something about cub seeing scar go vex mode#scar's never done that on hc#it's incredibly dangerous#they think he lost it#they think maybe grian's already dead#how heartbreaking is it that the rescue should be a Good thing?#that it should feel like relief#and yet it's just this panic-stricken mess?#anyway yeah please stay worried folks#more messy things incoming#<3#also no#grian did not expect to survive on his own#one way or another#it was going to end today
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One thing I love about ikesen is that without it I would have never heard what the sengoku period was. Im so glad I’ve come across this game and come to b aware of this time period.
(Currently learning bout (irl) hideyoshi’s failed invasions of Korea- very interesting stuff!)
#im turning into a history nerd like sasukeee#just my thoughts#INCOMING HISTORIC RAMBLE#hideyoshi toyotomi#what was hideyoshi thinking lmao 😭#admiral yi is a GOAT absolutely crazy i dont think I’ve ever felt so impressed by a historical figure till now#very few instances in history where Japan Korean and China are all involved?#anyways as someone who is Chinese and is interested/fond of Korea and Japan this is very very interesting#also I think the catastrophic failure of the invasion lead to most daimyo to support Ieyasu Tokugawa instead in sekigahara?#understandable cause bro so many ppl died for no reason#but why oh why didnt hideyoshi just enter China from (modern day) Shanghai?#wouldn’t it b so much easier than to having to go thru Korea first or am I missing something?#speaking of sekigahara I read (some of it at least) kanetsugu naoe’s letter the other day#I really really wish there was more English sources of information on the sengoku period#ikemen sengoku#ikesen
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GUESS WHAAAAATTTTT ‼️‼️‼️
#WOOOOOO MARKERRSSSS WOOOOO#IM SO EXCITEDDD#more keri coloured art incoming????? hopefully!!!!!#keri rambles
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slasher iii & slasher iv
oh geez oh boy oh god here it is. i had to strangle this thing out of my brain and she came out kicking and screaming. unedited, just some fun slasher iii & slasher iv content on this saturday evening. this is... something
there's a good bit of triggers in here, please proceed with caution.
1.15k words
The two of them are just hardcore horror fans, right? They've seen all the classics a million times but as they're getting older it's just not enough. III is the first one to suggest it as he turns off the television after watching the newest horror box office flop. At first, IV thought it was a joke. An outlandish suggestion to throw him off his game. That was the kind of jokester that III was. But there was no humor in his voice when he said in a sinisterly quiet voice.
"We could just do that shit ourselves."
The thought caused excitement to pulse through IV's veins as III laid out the details of his fantasy. It was almost too perfect, he thought. Their calculus professor was a piece of shit who was always too hard on the class, so he made an obvious target. He had no family, which further eased IV's conscience. They'd be doing the world a favor.
It was an experience unlike anything he'd ever experienced before, the thrill of watching the light wink out of his horrified eyes as he clawed at the masks covering their faces, watching the fight leave his body as he fell limp to the floor. He found he didn't quite mind the feeling of his blood soaked jeans clinging to his legs.
III had done most of the dirty work, but who was IV to deprive him of the joy he received from plunging the knife into his victim's stomach? They tidied. up after themselves enough to erase their presence, and waited for someone to find him.
The discovery of the beloved professor’s body the next day came as a shock to the whole community, leaving the town a worried mess. Things only got worse as III and IV selected their next target. She was a young woman, engaged to be married, known for babysitting just about every kid in town– the two of them included. IV’s stomach soured at the thought, but the grin on III’s face stirred his excitement enough to quell his conscience.
“Don’t worry mate, she’ll be perfect.” He clapped his friend on the shoulder and pulled him into his pickup truck, the bed loaded with enough hunting knives to butcher a stampede.
And perfect she was. They managed to slip into the garage undetected, slinking through the darkened hallways towards the illumination and chatter of the television in the living room. She had nodded off on the couch, her head tilted back and nestled into the corner, surrounded by blankets and pillows. III gave him a silent nod and IV walked around behind her, wrapping an arm around her neck and clamping his hand over her mouth. Her eyes shot open in fear, panic overtaking her body as her eyes raked down every intimidating inch of III as he knelt in front of her, sliding a knife out of his boot.
IV could feel her gnashing at the flesh of his palm, and simply pressed the crook of his elbow further into her jugular. He could feel her resolve dwindling as she thrashed against his hold, trying to shove III’s towering figure away from her. But III only laughed and swatted away her comparatively small hands as he began tracing the tip of his blade up her pajama clad leg, the twinkle in his eye indicated to IV that he was thoroughly enjoying the muffled whimpers coming from behind IV’s hand, relishing in the way that her body lurched away from him.
When IV felt his hand dampening from her tears, he audibly groaned, looking down to see her beautiful eyes squeezed shut, tears running down her cheeks. If his mask wasn’t covering his mouth he would have leaned down and licked those tears off of her perfect skin himself. But instead, he managed to catch III’s attention, nodding down to her streaming tears and III laughed evilly.
He leaned over her, wiping her tears away with his thumbs, gently caressing her cheeks as he did so, despite IV’s hands covering most of her face.
“Hey, no use for that,” III cooed. “No point of doing that at all, love.”
Her eyes opened, a bone-chilling fear shooting through her body as she saw the murderous glint in III’s eyes. The tears flowed faster, and as she tried again to break free III restrained her arms with ease, resting his body weight on top of her as he brought his knife up to her line of sight again.
“We’re going to have a lovely time, the three of us.”
She screamed from behind IV’s hand, making one last attempt to bite at him and managed to find purchase on the meat of his palm, causing him to yelp. She sank her teeth in until she could taste his blood on her tongue, but she found his grip only tightened. When she dared a glance above her, she could see his eyes shut, breathing labored, but when he looked down at her, she realized what a mistake she had made.
A mixture of her tears and IV’s blood dripped from her chin, and the sight sent a shockwave of excitement through III’s body. He was ecstatic to have a partner in all this, to get to experience his wildest fantasies with his best friend. To share this new side of him with his best friend.
“Now for the fun part.” He whispered, more to IV than to her, but the words caused her heart to sink, she felt the resolve fly from her body– there was no salvation for her. The coppery tang of his blood on her tongue that had once tasted like victory now tasted of defeat. Not only would she die at their hands, she would die with their repulsive presence invading her every sense.
III felt the familiar rush of euphoria as the blade pierced through her belly, her muffled scream like a favorite song heard on the radio. He didn’t miss the way IV’s hip pressed slightly into the couch, spreading a wide grin across his lips.
This would be the fun part, indeed.
Hours later, III laid down in his bed, resting an arm behind his head as he replayed the events of the day, that same grin still plastered on his face. He felt his eyes drifting closed, sleep ready to take his body when he heard the sound of his phone vibrating on his nightstand. His heart leaped at the sight of your name, and your sweet message.
i guess you turned in early tonight. sweet dreams, i love you <3
As he laid back down, his eyes falling shut one more time, his mind conjured up the most beautiful plan for you.
A special surprise.
#also. fair warning: i was pretty stoned when i wrote this so please forgive any errors i may have made it's the only way i could do this#my brain could have gone some insane places here but alas we have reached the limits of em's writing comfort levels.#warning: long tag rambling incoming ->#my brain has not stopped thinking about slasher iii and slasher iv being like billy and stu from scream. UNABLE to stop thinking about it#i could possibly (maybe. MAYBE) write more of this if ppl are rocking with it because FUCK!!!#thinking about the end of scream???? but with them???? i kept starting that and then starting it over until i landed here#but i could give it a whirl if it's what the People Want#but anyways! feedback is appreciated and deeply forever cherished#i like to know what people think of my ideas/writing!!!!#but on the other hand if anyone ever just wants to talk about slasher token know that i am HERE#i struggle to really write much for it just bc we're dancing around the things i'm comfortable writing but good gravy#it's everything. it's all i've thought about since iii showed himself in that new mask back in december#like SHIT!!!!#anyways rambling over here's this 🤲🏼🔪✨#sleep token iii#iii sleep token#sleep token fanfiction#slasher iii#slasher iv#slasher token#em's stcu
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FINISHED WORK?? on MY page??? it's far less likely than you'd think. and yet, somehow, here we are. :D
(well, finished enough to post and call "done", i should say. i may yet meddle with some details when i inevitably notice ten more flaws immediately after posting :D)
good old moss knight, such a devout follower of big slug. surely no wandering knight would ever end such a noble creature's life before he had the chance to speak with a certain fellow at a nearby bench! :D
this was essentially just me testing the waters with digital after some time avoiding it, and especially colours/lighting. it's been a while since i actually tried to make something fully fleshed out like this. i don't know, i feel like it could have come out worse :)
#inktober#inktober 2023#art#artists on tumblr#my art#digital art#krita#hollow knight#moss knight#greenpath#lake of unn#stuff i'm actually somewhat proud of#!! incoherent jumble of words incoming !!#this took entirely too long to finish. i am officially burnt out for the time being and will be returning to a slower rate of production :)#so yeah. gonna be likely stopping inktober here for the year D:#seriously each day was just getting more and more stressful. and i have not been happy with the last few days. so today's the finale! :D#and i can no longer allocate 1-2 hours per day to come up with something different while balancing everything else going on right now :/#it sucks to have to say that but i'm still glad i made it most of the way. this was my first inktober and i definitely was not ready.#but i had a ton of fun with it!! just need to slow down a bit. for my own sake :)#thus concludes my lengthy tags rambling. i put a lot into this project! (even though i know it's not great) i hope you like it :)#thank you for indulging my scattered and incoherent stream of consciousness. now i'm done rambling for good this time :D
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