#it’s implied but I’m tagging that anyways LMAO
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lavander-galaxy · 3 months ago
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man what’s got him so flustered huh
@sonderfairy
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rosetheocto · 1 month ago
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i was told to post this
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raceydays-hopelesshaze · 2 years ago
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Just saw an Oppenheimer x reader fic hahah I am experiencing violent urges
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reenaria · 2 years ago
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currently having a queer identity crisis on this accursed holiday
#but actually. i’ve realized that like. 95% or more of my attraction to men has been comphet#i thought it wasn’t because i’ve been more or less identifying as bi since i was 11#so like. i figured if i didn’t like men at all i would’ve figured it out sooner?#it wasn’t until a couple years ago that i resolved to stop dating straight & masculine guys because i feel like i’m performing for them#and my current partner of 2.5 years is amab and socially perceived as a man but he’s bi and sees himself as ‘void of gender’#which is also the way i see him but not the way most people see him#he does get mistaken for a woman a fair ammount though. which brings us both a lot of joy lol#but anyway. my crisis is that i’ve been feeling more and more detached from the bi label because i feel like it implies attraction to men#and i’ve known for a little while now that i’m almost exclusively attracted to femininity and androgyny#and primarily attracted to women in general#like if i weren’t with my partner i would 100% be out there dating women and maybe? identifying as a lesbian#but i feel like i have no claim to that label especially with my current partner who is not a woman and is much more androgynous than fem#idk. do i keep calling myself bi? it feels like i’ve slipped away from it#i’ve been using queer a lot more lately because umbrella terms are the only thing that seem to make sense to me anymore#i know labels can be super complicated and unhelpful in some cases but i also want to know where my place is in the community ya know?#i feel so confused without a solid label and it’s causing me a lot more stress than it should#(also my partner is such a blessing and said he’d be supportive if i ever felt i needed to leave him to be with women)#(like he said ‘i’d be sad for a while but i’d still be your best friend) and i was just 🥺#this may be even longer than my last tag novel lmao i just hate the idea of putting this stuff in the body of the post#anyway if any pals/mutuals read all that and have any insight or advice i’d be curious to hear#reena.txt
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shinyphoenix · 1 day ago
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#I was going to make a whole tags post about how I’m not a proshipper because ships that generally fall under ‘problematic’#aren’t my wheelhouse#but I fully support people who do like ‘problematic’ ships#but that’s basically what being a proshipper is right?#and the reason I was going to make this post was because I saw a ‘proshippers dni’#so I was like ‘lol these people would never know I’m definitionally a proshipper’#and then I was thinking what would I be called#I want to say like anti-passing but that implies I might seem anti which I hope I don’t#what I’m saying is there should be a neutral option for this stupid ‘argument’#(I think being proship is the neutral because it’s minding your own business really but people are dumb)#like I’d say I’m pro proship but not actively a proshipper I guess#I guess???#I don’t want to interact with anyone who has proship dni anyway lol#all this being said. IF YOU’RE SIMPING FOR THE TV HEAD DOCTOR FROM POPPY PLAYTIME#WHO WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR ESSENTIALLY TORTURING/ MURDERING THOUSANDS OF CHILDREN AND ADULTS#AND WHO WAS GLAD TO DO IT AND SHOWED NO REMORSE#THEN WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING JUDGING PEOPLE FOR THEIR SHIPS???#ignore me#maybe to be deleted#I wasn’t sure I was going to actually make this ‘post’ but I have readings to do so I’m here instead#(for the record the stupid people are antis)#((you know now that I think about it this is kinda how I felt before I knew I was ace#like ‘I’m pretty sure I’m not gay but people who are are super cool and I don’t understand what straight people are talking about either#‘))#I’ve edited this post like 4 times girl NO ONE IS READING THIS (hi El maybe?)#I don’t know what I’m talking about anymore lmao#anyway let people ship whatever they want and don’t be a hypocrite#yeah that’s what this post was about
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kavehayati · 4 months ago
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I find it insane that some girl asked if I was gay when she’s the one who in my Islamic private school with only girls classes for the most part and wearing Muslim fitting uniforms (and btw I would make my clothes extra baggy btw so you don’t notice anything of my body to begin with 😭) told me I have a nice body LIKE WTF WAS I MEANT TO RESPOND TO THAT FIRST OF ALL ??? AND SECOND HOW ARE YOU ASKING IF IM THE GAY ONE WHEN YOURE COMMENTING ON MY BODY AS A GIRL 😭
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aro-laurance-zvahl · 2 years ago
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hey now, don't beat yourself up about "unfinished" work. sometimes the purpose of writing is to shake your emotions out, or to test a new style, or to write the one specific scene you've been daydreaming about. 500 words is still a lot (trust, I did nano and thinking "I still have 500 words.." is daunting). no love, however brief, is wasted.
for a prompt, you never said if you wanted it fandom specific? so I think it could be fun to try and write smth in second person. you could do it in a, outsiders perspective looking in to whatever fandom situation you want. also, don't feel pressured to post it. sometimes our writing is just for us (though of course if you want to, I'm not holding you back!) :]
It has been. A bit of a rough week. Which made these 500 words take longer than my usual, but they shall not be wasted. Since I first followed you back in your Sanders Sides days, I figured I might well cobble together something SaSi. It’s from this LAMP soulmate AU I have, inspired by a fic I read years ago but when I reread it it just didn’t scratch the itch. It’s a mess of an AU, so many branching paths and no consistent timeline and probably at least 10k words of mess scattered around my drafts and 1k of them are probably the same words pasted into different draft where the situation goes a different direction. I have fun with it though, and I really like it which felt appropriate for this ask as well.
So without further ado, enjoy 537 words of Remy’s inner turmoil.
You are fourteen years old, sitting with your best friend in his room. You’re pretending not to notice, but you can tell he’s looking at how the writing appears on your arm. You know he’s still mourning the fact his writing doesn’t appear on it anymore, and so are you.
Not that you don’t like your soulmate, he’s nice and his doodles are getting better, and you feel it in your bones you’ll love him when you see him, but you don’t think it’ll stop the weird grief you have about Virgil. He’s been your best friend since you were six, and for over two years he was your soulmate too. Until he wasn’t.
Looking back, maybe it was predictable. You two were kids, arms filled with possible soulmates that fate was still lining up perfectly. Nearly all of them would fade, and one day, for you, they did. You were left with one, like everyone figured would happen. You had already met your soulmate, you two would barely remember a day without that bond. Except the one wasn’t Virgil, and it could not have happened at a worse time.
You don’t think you could ever forgive fate for the shambles she left Virgil in, even if your soulmate is a god on earth. He lost so much that year because of stupid fate and you know he’s never been able to recover, so why should you love fate? You know she’s not kind, maybe she has been to you since that time but you’ve seen the cruel nature she harbors. You had to watch her break your best friend before either of you knew long division.
You take a deep breath. He just got back from the hospital, it’s not the time to go on one of your anger induced ramblings about fate. They make him sad anyway, and you’re supposed to be here to cheer him up. You try to focus back on the game in front of you, but your arm itches and you know it’s because fate is sinking her claws along the new markings, urging you to look and look and look.
You give in to her demands, sparing a quick glance down to relieve the hives like feeling dancing across your arm. It’s nothing important, just a few words asking you to remind him to ask for more stickers, you couldn’t even respond if you really needed to anyway. The itching fades as quickly as it began though, and you wonder how Virgil manages to never look at his own if you cave after moments? His soulmates are chatty too, from what you have gathered from the small things he says about them.
It’s most definitely not the time to ask though, so you once again adjust your grip on the controller in your hand and focus your vision back onto the game in front of you. It really sucks you have to finish the game for him, but he doesn’t want to wait the couple months for his cast to come off to see the end and you know he’d do it for you. You’ve been dying to talk about it with him anyway, and that is definitely a safe and happy subject.
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leclercsainzz · 1 year ago
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ILLICIT AFFAIRS PART 4
PAIRINGS: lando norris x ex!gf / tom blyth x reader
TYPE: social media au
WARNING: // cheating implied
part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - part 4 - part 5
yourusername
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liked by danielricciardo, hunterschafer, and 678,889 others
yourusername: more photo dumps of my favorite ppl (ft. me)
tagged: @tomblyth @hunterschafer @joshandresrivera
view 6,021 comments
user: MY FAVORITE CAST!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
user: bye, bc how did lucy gray leave a man like him???
↳ user: the way i would’ve believed EVERY word that came out his mouth and stayed with him, frrrr
↳ user: she’s a better woman than me 😭😭
user: the green jackets, hello?????
user: @landonorris
hunterschafer: love you, girlfriend 😘
user: hottest cast ever, idc
user: did tom and yn share the same jacket on set???
↳ user: literally my parents
joshandresrivera: ❤️❤️
user: soo are you and lando still together or???
user: yntom shipper >>>>
user: she looks so adorable in that second slide
tomblyth: ❤️❤️❤️❤️
tomblyth: you’re my favorite person ever
↳ user: my heart 😭😭😭😭😭
↳ user: this is too cute, wtf????
↳ user: if they don’t date, i’m gonna be so upset
user: sOMEONE GEt ME A TOM BLYTH, RIGh nOw!!!!!!!
user: babe, are you and dad (lando) still together???
↳ user: girllll, i’m pretty sure they’re done
user: tom’s the reason why my standard in man are high
songbirdandsnakes: our favs! ❤️
user: please, date!! 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
user: all i can think about is lando 🥺
user: you know damn well lando didn’t cheat on you
↳ user: how you gonna say that when there’s proof??
user: my favorites <3
user: where’s lando??
user: my comfort cast, i swear ❤️
user: yntom nation please rise
user: i wanna cry so bad bc i feel bad for lando 😭😭😭
↳ user: feel bad??? wdym?? he cheated???
↳ user: the only reason he might’ve cheated was because yn literally cheated on him first??????? hello???
user: if only coryo had been honest with her 😩
user: idc what anyone says, tom and yn are soulmates
user: this cast >>
user: her smile 🥺 she’s too cute
user: my babies
user: i can (not) accept the fact that lucy gray and coriolanus didn’t end together but i will NOT accept if yn and tom don’t end up together irl
user: who needs eminem when you’ve got paneminem
↳ yourusername: STEALING THIS, OMG!
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luisinhaoliveira99
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liked by kellypiquet, maxfewell and 431,028 others
luisinhaoliveira: weekend getaway 😙
view 2,846 comments
user: not her trying to soft launch 😭😭😭😭
user: more like weekend cheat-away
user: pretty girl ��
user: wait- so she’s actually with lando????
user: girl, he ain’t interested in you let’s bffr
user: he didn’t even like or comment 🤣
user: luuuuuuu 😍😍😍
user: how does it feel to have yn’s left overs??
user: is she aware that he’s just using her???
user: @landonorris @landonorris @yourusername @yourusername
user: lando couldn’t even handle yn and ya’ll believe he can handle this beautiful woman?? 😭😭😭
user: acting like that’s her man 💀
user: hate to break it to you but once a cheater always a cheater 🫢 so you best watch out, babes
user: YOU’RE the other woman, don’t get it twisted
user: ynlando >>
user: why are you soft launching as if no one knows?
↳ user: she really thought she ate 😂😂😂
user: you’re beautiful!!! 😩😩
user: is that lando or??
user: CRYING 😭😭😭 home girl thought she did something by “soft-launching” LMAOOOOOOOOO
user: ya’ll are so mean, omg 😭 it’s not her fault lando cheated
↳ user: she knew he was in a relationship and still got with him?????? hello??????
user: he ain’t even comment 💀💀💀💀
↳ user: let alone like 😭
user: @landonorris this your new girl???
user: this means i finally have a chance with THE yn ln!! 🥳
↳ user: hate to break it to you, but that’s tom’s girl now
user: ya’ll calling lando a cheater when it’s yn 😂😂😂
user: anyways
user: this drama’s sooo goood
user: u and lando are so cute 🥰🥰🥰
↳ user: they both belong in the street
oscarpiastri: lmao
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user: where’s lando?? waiting for a comment or like
user: ya’ll are so mean 😭😭😭
user: yntom >>>
user: yn’s better than me bc i would be DRAGGING both their asses on the internet right about now, idccc
↳ user: girl, frrrr
↳ user: it just shows how she’s being the bigger person in this whole bs, tbh
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yourusername
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liked by tomblyth, landonorris and 695,899 others
yourusername: thank you, next 💋
view 5,725 comments
user: not lando still being in her likes 😭
↳ user: mans is DESPERATE for her attention
isahernaez: eres realmente una belleza 😍
see translation: you’re truly a beauty
hunterschafer: WOW
hunterschafer: YOURE A GODDESS
hunterschafer: MY GODDDD 😍😍😍
oliviarodrigo: gorgeous gorgeous girl! 😩
↳ yourusername: right back at youuu, ml 💗
user: can’t believe lando let this gorgeous woman go
user: lando fucks shit up but yn comes and serves each time
↳ user: all she does is post and comes up with a caption and yet she remains unbothered and iconic!
↳ user: she shuts la*do up by posting, i swear
user: MOTHER ASF 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨
user: babes in her reputation era
lilymhe: absolute beauty right here! 😮‍💨
user: teach me your ways
tomblyth: okay, we get it, you’re incredibly gorgeous
↳ yourusername: oh stop, you’re making me blush
↳ user: ooohhh????
tomblyth: can i be your next?
↳ yourusername: you’d like wouldn’t you? 🤔
↳ tomblyth: i just want to show you off
↳ user: QUICK: someone check on lando
↳ user: ARE THEY FLIRTING OR?????
↳ user: i find it hard to believe they’re not a thing
user: tom and yn flirting??!???? 👀
user: “i just want to show you off” SIR????
↳ user: if your man ain’t show you off, he ain’t the one
user: i just know lando is crying right now
↳ user: as he should!
user: mother is serving, ohhh myyy 😍😍😍
user: TOM’s COMmENT????
user: if her and tom don’t get together ima have a mental breakdown, i swear
user: serving as always!!!
user: unbothered queen
user: YNTOM NATION RISE!!!!!!!!!!
carlossainz55: that’s my best friend!
user: lando liked 😭😭
↳ user: he’s craving yn’s attention, but then again i would too
user: screw tom … let ME be your next
user: i WANNA BE UR NEXT, BABE
user: 😍😍😍😍😍 WOW WOW WOW
user: mother is mothering
user: @landonorris apologies to mom so we can move on
↳ user: i NEED them together 😭😭😭
user: SLAYYYY
oscarpiastri: 🤩🤩🤩
imessage
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tomblyth
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liked by yourusername, carlossainz55 and 674,037 others
tomblyth: here’s to another epic outing w/ my favorite people!
tagged: @yourusername @joshandresrivera @hunterschafer
view 5,601 comments
user: yntom being each other’s favorite person >>> 🥰
user: hunter & yn singing “you belong with me” is a slayyyyy
user: josh’s message 🤣
user: the 5th pic OMGGG ❤️❤️❤️
joshandresrivera: i feel exposed 😔
joshandresrivera: art admiring art 😍
↳ yourusername: aw thank you! (he was looking at me btw)
↳ joshandresrivera: can you not?? 🙄
↳ tomblyth: can you blame me?
↳ user: IMA GO SHOWER WITH MY TOASTER BRB
user: i love them omg
user: yn better have dedicated “you belong with me” to tom
user: my parents, frrrr
user: 5th slide 😭😭😭
user: are they dating?? officially??
hunterschafer: same time next week?
hunterschafer: i love you alllll 😘
user: my yntom heart is giggling at the 5th slide
user: this cast has my heart, i swear!! ❤️❤️❤️
yourusername: my favorite boy everrrr <33
yourusername: 😘😘😘 ilyyyy
↳ user: @landonorris
↳ user: nahhhhh 😭😭
user: IF THEY DONT DATE WITHIN THE NEXT WEEK OR WHATEVER IM GONNA GO APESHIT, OMG
user: yn should’ve sang “london boy”
user: my yntom heart 😩😩😩
user: the 5th slide has me grinning ear to ear
user: THE HEAD LEAN 😭😭😭😭
user: she’s living her best life with him, i swear 🥰
↳ user: she’s definitely glowing!!
user: she deserves a guy like him … who will treat her right
user: i love this friendship 😩
user: them >>>>>
user: they’re in love, your honor
user: i hope they’re together ❤️
↳ user: i feel like they’re keeping it private
user: lando’s currently going apeshit
user: @landonorris
user: singing “you belong with me” SLAYYYYYYYYY
user: i love them 😭😭😭 together or not
user: soulmates frrr
user: mom and dad ❤️❤️
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yourusername
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liked by oliviarodrigo, tomblyth and 624,510 others
yourusername: 🍃
view 4,028 comments
user: IS THAT LANDO??????
↳ user: you really think that’s lando?? 🤣
↳ user: YES!
user: whatever tom’s doing is working bc she’s glowing
user: that’s definitely tom, OMG!!!!
user: her smile 😩😩
lilymhe: you’re unreal, i swear
↳ yourusername: says YOU 😩
user: yn post whatever la*do sent you, please!!!
user: is she soft launching or??
user: lando?
charlottesiine: you >>> 😍😍
user: she’s glowing 😍✨
↳ user: tom’s the one making her ✨ GLOW ✨ like this!!
user: wait is that lando??? or tom???
user: i find it funny how ppl think that’s lando 😭😭
hunterschafer: you’re sooo prettyyyyy
user: she’s literally glowing 😍😍😍😍
user: the last pic 😩 i LOVE THEM, OMGG
user: such a natural beauty, i swear
user: @tomblyth KEEP MAKING HER GLOW LIKE THIS!!!
user: yk damn well the relationship between her and lando was falling apart the moment she stopped glowing like this
user: she’s radiating so much energy ✨✨✨
user: it’s clear to see that she's in love, her face is radiating with joy and happiness …. you can see it in her beaming smile
↳ user: she’s glowing with love, and it’s a beautiful sight
user: your face is mesmerizing 😩😩😩
tomblyth: i’m enthralled by your beauty
↳ user: SOMEONE GET ME A MAN LIKE THIS, I SWEAR
↳ user: he’s sooo in love 😩
tomblyth: stunning views
↳ yourusername: don’t boost my ego like that 🙄 or else …
↳ tomblyth: can you just accept my compliment for once?
↳ user: you cannot tell me these two aren’t together bc they certainly are!!
zendaya: are you even real? 😍
↳ yourusername: coming from youu??? 😩😩
danielricciardo: who’s got you smiling like that??
↳ carlossainz55: ^^
↳ yourusername: wouldn’t ya’ll like to know
user: i can’t imagine being as beautiful as you
↳ yourusername: you’re a beautyyy <333
↳ user: i lOve you omg!!! ❤️❤️❤️
user: 😍😍😍😩😩😩😩😩
user: she’s smiling brighter than ever 🥰🥰🥰
user: gorggg
landonorris: 😍
comment has been deleted
user: MOTHER’S GLOWING!! AS SHE SHOULD!!
user: tHe last slide 😭😭😭😭
taglist:
@tomblyth-tsunoda @love4josh @dudde-44 @coconut-dreamz @newlifeforus @loxbbg @dakotali @f1footballluvverr @mountmaason19 @poppyflower-22 @magical-spit @nazm145 @nikolaros22 @sincerlymatakorama @36babyg @bucket-of-fanfiction @gyunheat @millyswife @onlyrealjoy @ocyeanicc @sarah-thatstings-ann @ushygushybaby @shrimpybbq @reyfolks @earth-to-lottie @smugrogerina @jenniferrvsesi @aleidag1rly @charlesswife @sheluvsf1 @omgsuperstarg @krispy-r @lwritesstuff @eutrizbea @psychiceaglepeach @theseerbetweenus
1K notes · View notes
btsugarush · 1 year ago
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GANGSTA | myg - 004
summary: rough sex, blood money, drugs, and gang related activity; four things you never predicted to experience in your simple life. not until you opened your mouth and caught his attention.
pairings: gang leader!yoongi x f!reader
warnings: smut, gunplay, drugs, drug addiction, dark!yoongi, drug lord!yoongi, strong language, gang violence, blood and gore, murder, manipulation, possessive/obsessive behavior, abuse, cheating, angst, fluff, dubcon, implied noncon (not from yoongi but within his gang with his knowledge), 18+, minors dni.
word count: 3.5K
authors note: yes, it is here. it only took me 76 years lmao. y’all best give me all the love since y’all wanted to be on my ass about this mf. anyway, enjoy the drama. also this was prewritren with the tags a long time ago so if you no longer wanted to be tagged or if you’re new and wanted to be tagged i’m sorry. the taglist got full but i try to switch out who i tag every chapter.
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“Now, are you sure you’re okay? I can personally file a report for you.” Mr. Kim asked for the 6th time. You roll your eyes, fed up with the badgering. You didn’t understand why he cared so much anyway. He was the one that refused to listen to you when you tried to explain why it wouldn’t be a great idea for you to deliver in Gongdan.
You didn’t go into detail about the assault, or even bother to mention Yoongi being the reason it didn’t escalate. You simply just stated to him that you were attacked and managed to slip free.
Luckily for you though, the old man’s guilt for the attack led him to giving you the rest of the day off and you snatched that offer up immediately. Not like he needed your assistance, seeing as the restaurant was practically dead with only about 4 customers. “I’m fine, Mr. Kim. I promise.” You assure him one last time. “Alright then. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“See you tomorrow.” You exit the shop, the door dinging as you do. You spot Mina’s car sitting in front of the restaurant, and she smiles cheerfully as you climb inside. “Hey. Thanks for picking me up so early.” You sigh, buckling your seatbelt. “No problem… But why am I picking you up so early? And…” she leans forward, peaking at your ripped shirt. “Why is your shirt ripped?”
You scratch your head, the thought of explaining the situation to Mina made your brain itch. “I had to deliver at the Devil’s playground again, and got attacked.” You kept it short and sweet. Mina’s eyes widened in shock. “What?! Was it that Yoongi guy again?!”
You shake your head. “It wasn’t him, it was this group of guys. Yoongi was actually the one that saved me…” you twiddle with your fingers as your mind wanders about the raven. Mina arches a brow at the gentleness in your voice. “He saved you?” You nod slowly in response. “My god, what does he expect from you now? Sexual favors?”
Of course Mina has to be the most dramatic and think the worst possible thought of everything. “No, he didn’t ask me for any favors. Which I guess is surprising for someone with his track record.” You admit, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth. Mina starts up the car, finally moving from the restaurant premises. “Please don’t tell me you’re buddy buddy with that thug now?”
You scoff, letting your eyes roll back. “Of course not! The guy is a criminal, and stalker. I’d never befriend him,” You argue, crossing your arms. Yoongi may have saved you, but you weren’t swayed by his heroic charm. “Anyway, enough about me and my shitty day, it’s too traumatic to talk about. Did you have a talk with Jin like I suggested?” You change the subject. Mina’s face drops at the mention of her boyfriend’s name. “Yeah, we talked for about 2 minutes before it all blew up. Now we’re not on speaking terms,” She sighs. “I think maybe I should break up with him…”
You frown. ‘There she goes being the most dramatic again…’
“Mina, don’t be so damn hasty all the time.” You try to reason with the blonde. “I’m not!” She defended herself. “I’m just tired, y/n. I’m tired of trying to figure him out. I’d rather break up with him before he breaks up with me.”
Mina had never been the girl to get her heart broken. In high school she was the one always doing the heart breaking, so you could tell that it genuinely killed her to love someone as much as she loved Jin, and not know where his head was at regarding their relationship. “I don’t know, Mina… I just know if I was in your shoes with Kookie, I’d try to work things out before I think of the worst possible outcome.”
Mina pouts, but she doesn’t continue to speak. Whether she wanted to admit it or not, you were right. She shouldn’t just jump the gun and break up with Jin. Although he was acting strangely and it was confusing the hell out of her. “You know… I’m jealous of your relationship with Kookie.” She suddenly blurts, causing you to turn to her with a raised brow. “Huh?”
“I’m jealous,” she repeats. “Of you and Jungkook.”
You tilt your head to the side, your eyebrows now scrunched in curiosity. “Why?”
Mina simply shrugs, sitting quietly for a couple of minutes before answering. “You two match, and have an unbeatable connection. You started off as best friends, which played in your favor. I met Jin in the hospital because he had a broken arm. We don’t have the history you and Jungkook have.”
You smile at the compliment towards your relationship, but quickly shake your head. “History isn’t everything. Some people marry their high school sweethearts and breakup. You and Seokjin just need to be mature– or you at least.” Mina whips her head in your direction, her brows furrowed. “What do you mean by ‘or you at least’?”
“I mean that sometimes you’re immature. You tend to freak out when things don’t go your way and storm off like a child.” Mina snarls. “I’m not immature.” She muttered to herself, practically proving your point. The car finally slows down in front of your apartment before coming to a complete stop. “Thanks for the ride again, Mina. I appreciate you.”
“Of course. I’m mature enough to pick up my best friend when she needs me.” She glares, your previous comment still not sitting well with her. You shake your head, paying no mind to her attitude. “Bye, Mina. I hope everything works out with Jin.” You pushed open the car door, climbing out.
“Yeah, you and me both.” She mutters her last words before she waits for you to close the car door, speeding off into the distance with you standing there to watch. You let out a sigh, shrugging. What was the point of her asking for your advice if she was always going to dislike what you had to say?
You turn on your heels, walking up the steps that lead to your building entrance. As you venture down the hall to your apartment, you spot a shaggy haired man placing a bouquet of flowers right in front of your front door. A smile forms your face as you see the one person you longed to see after such a horrendous experience. “Kookie?”
The brunette jumps slightly, your sudden appearance catching him off guard. Once he registers that it’s you, he smiles as well. “Well shit, I wanted to surprise you with something sweet when you got off. Guess that’s a fail.” He scratches the back of his neck, chuckling. You shake your head, instantly embracing him with a hug. “It’s not a fail. I’m so happy to see you.” Even though you pretty much talked on the phone with Jungkook everyday, it felt like you hadn’t seen him in weeks.
Jungkook’s tattooed arms wrap around your waist, returning your gentle embrace. “I’m happy to see you too, angel. What’re you doing home so early though? I thought you weren’t off till 8:00?”
You bit down on your bottom lip. You wanted to start crying right there just thinking about what almost happened to you today. You hadn’t told him about your trip to Gongdan yesterday because you didn’t want him to worry, but now you felt as though he deserved to know this time. “I got attacked today.” You take a step back, showing him your torn shirt. Jungkook looks down, dumbfounded at how he hadn’t clocked your ripped shirt when you first walked in.
“By who?!” He shouts. “If it was Yoongi and his gang I swear to god–”
You shush Jungkook, looking around to make sure none of your neighbors were in the hallway eavesdropping. “Let’s talk about this inside, okay?” The brunette is pissed, but he nods, awaiting for you to open your apartment door. He grabs the flowers from the floor as you dig through your purse for your key. ‘I really need to get a keychain for this thing," you thought, finally finding the piece of metal in your bag.
You open the door, and Jungkook wastes no time storming in. He places the flowers on your kitchen table, pulling out a chair for you to sit and explain yourself. Even though he was angry he still focused on your wellbeing. You close the door, unsure if you really wanted to recite the situation. Too late to change your mind now though.
You shuffle to the seat that Jungkook pulled out for you, plopping down. “So? Was it Yoongi’s doing?”
How do you even begin to explain all of this? Yes, but not really? While Yoongi was the reason you ended up in Gongdan, he isn’t the one that attacked you. But he has taken a weird interest in you ever since the Makoto showdown between you and his trusty stooge. If you told Jungkook that though, he'd just spend every moment trying to protect you and probably do something unnecessary to get himself hurt. You didn’t want that.
So, maybe it was best to embellish the truth a bit and leave Yoongi out of it.
“I had a delivery in Gongdan today. Jimin was out sick, and I was the only one that could deliver it. A group of guys attacked me on my way back to the restaurant.” Jungkook furrowed his eyebrows. “You had a delivery at the devil’s playground and you took it? What the hell were you thinking?”
“I was thinking that I had to do my job. I had no choice, Kookie. Mr. Kim wasn’t letting me out of it. Believe me, I tried.” The brunette scoffed, redirecting his anger to Mr. Kim. “I should go down there and kick that old man’s ass,” He muttered. Jungkook was never too fond of Mr. Kim. He thought the old man could be a bit misogynistic.
“Did they hurt you?” His voice is now more tender. You shook your head. “No. I’m fine,” You assure him. “The only thing that got hurt is my precious shirt.” You laugh a bit, trying to lighten the mood. “Did they just let you go? How’d you get free?” He pressed on.
“Umm…” you trail off, your thoughts once again wandering to the raven haired man.
“So Wonder Woman, you ready to accept that ride today?”
“They got scared off by someone that happened to be walking by. Lucky me, huh?”
Jungkook sighs smoothly, crouching down in front of your chair. He takes your hands in his, interlocking your fingers. “I’m glad you’re okay, y/n. I hate to know you experienced that and I wasn’t there.” He frowns, leering down at your hands. “Jungkook, you’re not gonna be able to be there for everything, and that’s okay. You’re here now, when I need you the most.”
Jungkook looks up at you. “And I’ll stay here.”
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“Please remind me to stop letting you pick out movies. You always pick the cheesiest ones.” Jungkook grimaced as you two reached the end of your movie. You wiped stray tears from your eyes, glaring over at your soon-to-be boyfriend. “The Princess Diaries is a classic. I love it.” Jungkook snorts, shaking his head. “Yeah, well next time I’m picking the movie. Your selection sucks.”
You gasp, taking a pillow from the other end of the couch. “Take that back.” You cock the pillow, ready to deliver a blow. “Okay, okay. I’m sorry… that you’re ass at picking movies.” You swing the pillow down on him, and his hands go up in self defense as he laughs, his back landing on the couch cushions to better protect his face. You take this advantage to straddle the brunette’s waist, continuing your attack until he ultimately surrenders. “Okay, I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” You finally toss the pillow back down to the end of the couch, a victory smirk plastered on your face. “I knew you’d see it my way.”
“Hard not to when I’m being attacked by a pillow.” He looks up at you, still straddling his waist. Jungkook’s hands slowly roam up your legs, stopping to grip your hips. “You’re so beautiful, you know that?” Your cheeks heated up with the compliment, and you felt a sudden wave of warmth between your legs that made you anxious. This was it. There was no better time than this to lose your virginity to Jungkook.
You lean forward, pressing your lips to his pierced ones, the metal was cold against you; Jungkook didn’t hold back, or hesitate the moment your lips were against his. Your mouths moved in sync, but sloppily at the same time as though you both wanted it real bad– and you did. Jungkook’s hands moved from your hips, reaching back to cup your ass in his hands, giving your cheeks a squeeze.
You moaned softly into his mouth, rolling your hips over the rough fabric of his jeans until you felt his cock harden underneath you. Jungkook made sure to assist you, his hands pressing you down harder against his confined length. Your panties were soaked, and your mind was in a daze. You were sure that you had dampened his jeans by now. “Fuck, Y/n…” he muttered in between kisses. “We have to stop before I can’t stop.”
“Then don’t stop, I want this.” You whine, rolling your hips faster. Jungkook moans, eyes squeezing shut. “Fuck, I can’t.” He grabs your hips, forcing you to stop. You take the hint, but you can’t help the pang in your chest. Was there something wrong with you? You didn’t get it. What was he waiting for? You climb off of him, taking your place back on the couch.
It’s silent as Jungkook sits up on the couch, running his fingers through his hair. “Y/n…”
“Save it,” You cut him short. “You don’t want to have sex with me, I get it.” Jungkook shakes his head. “That’s not true. I do.” He argued. You scoff, rolling your eyes. “So then what’s the problem? I’m always practically giving signals that I’m ready and you’re holding back. You have never done that with any girl you’ve dated before me.”
“You’re not any girl I’ve dated before you.”
“Right, I’m y/n, the girl that’s been your best friend for years and the truth is that’s probably all you see me as.” Jungkook says nothing, he doesn’t even bother to argue because that’s just something he hates doing with you. “I uh… I should go.”
“Then go.” You snapped. Jungkook nods, standing up from the couch. As he walks to the front door, he looks back at you. You don’t look his way, you just continue to stare forward. “You’re not any girl I’ve dated before you.” He repeats; those are his final words before he opens the door and leaves.
Your eyes brim with tears as you finally turn, looking towards the table where Jungkook’s bouquet of flowers sat.
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“Well well well, look who made a full recovery today.” You eye Jimin taking orders as you walk into Makoto. Jimin smiles at you, happy to see you in what felt like forever since you two worked together. “Y/n, it’s good to see you too.” He greets. You cross your arms, not in a greeting mood. “I have a bone to pick with you once you’re done here.” You say, walking back to the kitchen to clock in.
“Y/n, good afternoon. How are you feeling today?” Mr. Kim asks you as you grab an apron from the hook, tying the black fabric around your waist. “It’s a Monday, how am I supposed to be feeling?” You speak dreadfully. You barely got any sleep after what happened last night with Jungkook, and now you were at work. Jungkook hadn’t even called or texted you. Not that you wanted him to right now.
“Well, I meant everything that happened yesterday, how are you feeling today?” He reiterates. You grab a time card, swiping it through the clock. “I’m fine, Mr. Kim.” You walk past him, taking a notepad and pen from the cup holder. Jimin walks back into the kitchen, his face suddenly pale like he was ready to puke. Maybe he was sick.
“Hey, um, there’s someone out there at table three that’s requesting for you to take their order.” He says, scratching the back of his neck. You raise a skeptical brow. ‘Requesting me? Could it be Jungkook?’ You thought. Maybe he wanted to talk in person instead of over the phone. You didn’t see why he couldn’t have waited until your shift was over and come to your apartment, but you didn’t argue with the gesture.
“Okay…?” You walk out of the kitchen towards the dining area. As you scope out table three, you don’t see Jungkook, but in fact, Yoongi, Joon, and two other guys you don’t know. That’s why Jimin looked so sickly. You shake your head, sauntering over to their table. “What’re you doing here? Was yesterday not enough?” You snap at Yoongi.
“Nice to see you too,” the raven laughs, leaning back in his chair. “Yesterday is the reason I’m here in person, sweetheart. Wouldn’t want you getting your pretty self into any more trouble in my hood.” He smirked. “You remember my boy Joon, don’t you?”
“Wonder Woman, it’s good to see you again.” You glare at Joon, rolling your eyes. You didn’t have time for this. Yoongi was the last person you cared to see right now, and you definitely never wanted to see Nam-joon again. “So are you here to order something or are you here to be the bane of my existence?”
“Depends… are you on the menu?” He bites his bottom lip, looking you up and down. Joon, and Yoongi’s other two minions snicker and you’ve decided you’ve had enough of this pig fest. “Okay, goodbye.” You turn to head back to the kitchen, but Yoongi stops you by grabbing your wrist. “I’m just joking around, sweetheart. I’m here to ask you something.” You pull your wrist from his grip, turning back to face him. “Ask me what?”
“Well, I’m having this kickback at my place tonight. I want you to slide through.” You scrunch your eyebrows together in confusion. “What on earth would make you think I’d dare to step foot into Gongdan again? And what makes you think I’d go to your shifty ass warehouse?”
“Well, I just thought after my heroism the other day you would want to thank me more properly.” You scoffed. Mina was right. He was expecting some kind of sexual favor from you. “I knew it. You only helped because you thought you could use me later on. I should’ve expected that from someone like you.” You leave their table, making your way back towards the kitchen, but this time Yoongi stands up from his seat to follow you.
“Princess,” He stops you again, his hand grazing your waist, but he doesn’t fully touch you in a manner that came across as though he was trying to respect your boundaries–for once. He steps in front of you, blocking your way to the kitchen. “It’s not like that. I helped you because I wanted to.”
“Is that so? Because it truly didn’t seem like it just a second ago.” You snarled, crossing your arms. The raven makes a “tsk” sound before continuing on. “Sweetheart, if that’s all I wanted from you then I would’ve made you give it to me right there in the alleyway. Regardless of what happened,” His face was stone cold serious. He meant that. You stood silent, not knowing what to say next.
“Listen… sometimes I have these kickbacks, and they’re a vibe, but it would be better if I saw your pretty face there.” His voice is soft, so soft that you didn’t think someone like Yoongi could produce such a tone. “I don’t think it would be a good idea for me to take a bus through Gongdan at night.”
“So don’t. I’ll pick you up.”
You sigh, slowly feeling yourself ready to cave in and you didn’t know why. You literally could not stand this man. He was a stalker for fuck sakes. A criminal. And yet… here you were ready to accept his invitation because of one good gesture, and a sudden softness to his voice. Yoongi’s eyes search for yours until they lock, a smile forming his face. For a moment as you're looking into the raven’s eyes you begin to question is he really the monster he makes people believe? Or is that all for looks?
“Hey, can we get the check please?” A customer calls out. Your eyes snap away from Yoongi’s. You had almost forgotten you were at work. “Look, I have to get back to work. I’ll… I’ll let you know.” You take your notepad, writing down your phone number. As you rip the paper from the pad, you actually begin to question your sanity. You hand the paper to Yoongi, his lips tilting in a sly smirk as he takes it.
“I look forward to hearing from you, princess.”
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Taglist
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huskersbooze · 11 months ago
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Sick
Alastor x Reader
Summary : You get sick and Alastor keeps you company <3
Warnings : Swearing(lots of it)
Pairings : Alastor x F!Reader (M!Reader here)
Additional Tags : ALASTOR POV CUZ YES. Sick reader, implied relationship, h/c, fluff, comfort
Word count : 1.01k
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“Hey, you alright, kid?” Husk tilts his head to the side, wiping down the last glass of the day.
You don’t respond. Instead, you’re staring off into the distance, dozing off in your own world.
“Kid?”
“Huh? What?” You finally snap out of your thoughts.
“Geez, ya’ look like hell.” Husk acknowledges. “Are you sick?”
“I don’t know.” You shrug. “I don’t think so?”
“Go rest. I’ll work alone today.”
“What? No! I’m fine I swear-” Before you’re able to finish your sentence, Husk flips you off.
“Bullshit. Go find your radio boyfriend.”
“Don’t bullshit me-”
You try arguing but Husk only smirks when he catches a glimpse of Alastor who’s appeared right behind you.
“Well, I just did.” He says. “Now stop being so stubborn.”
“I’m not being stubborn I-” 
You feel a hand being put to your forehead and try to fight back, only to realise it was Alastor.
“High fever.” He lets go. “You’re being stubborn.”
“Oh, fuck you, Al.”
“We’ll fuck when you’re better, darling.”
You blush. Alastor grins. Husk tries to hold in a laugh but ultimately fails.
“You’re sick and you need rest, my dear. Come along.”
“I’m fine-”
Alastor can only sigh, picking you up as you yelp.
“This is completely, and utterly, your fault single-handedly.” He smiled as you pouted. “You're very much welcome, darling.”
“Whatever.”
-----
You managed to escape Alastor as he leaves to mess with Vox. (Ep2 lmao)
Upon returning to the bar, Husk was not pleased to see your ass out of bed, emphasising on how important sleep was to someone sick.
You couldn’t care less.
Though, after wiping down a few more bottles with him, your eyes doze off and your eyelids feel droopy.
“Kid?”
The world spins and fades away.
“Fuck! Kid, ya’ alright?! Alastor!”
-----
[Alastor’s pov]
I heard a little groan as my eyes widened.
"Darling." I whispered, hoping not to startle her.
"Al..?" She breathed out.
"Good morning." I joked, though so grateful she was now awake.
"Wha.. What time is it?" She asked, struggling to get up.
"Be careful." I ushered, helping her sit. "I'm not so sure myself. It's very late at night."
"Where am I?" She asked, finally waking up as she stopped slurring through her words. 
"My room. ‘I’m not sick’ my arse." I replied.
"Oh. Well, I guess you and Husk were right. I just thought I was a little sick." She murmured. 
"You are sick." I replied. "Just worse than you expected."
"Real humorous, Al." She gave a small, yet weak, giggle.
Silence filled the air between us, and we didn't say anything else after that. That was, until she gave a small sneeze. I could tell she tried to suppress it, but seeing it was late at night and so quiet, it was hard not to notice.
"Are you cold?" I asked. I could barely make out the silhouette of her nodding lightly. Without hesitating, I took off my coat and handed it over to her. "Better?"
"A lot. Thanks, Al." She replied. After another few seconds of silence, she spoke up once more. "Why aren’t you asleep?"
"You do remember your dear partner does not need, nor does he enjoy, sleep?"
"Excuse, excuses." She joked, earning a chuckle from me.
"I can't really sleep now." She suddenly says out of nowhere. One thing I really like about this girl, she says the most random things in the most random situations. "Could we do something else?"
"Are you trying to get me killed?" I laughed. "You need to rest."
"I'm aware. That's the initial plan, anyways." She joked. At least, I hoped she was joking.
"You sneaky little deer."
"Yes. That's me. Hello." She replied, sitting on the edge of the bed with her legs crossed as she proceeded to look at me in the dark room. “Besides, it’s not like anyone here at the Hotel is actually powerful enough to kill you.”
"Very well, then. What do you have in mind?"
“Some jazz and cuddles would be nice.”
-----
She chokes on another cough.
"Are you sure you're alright? You should really rest in such vulnerable state."
"I'm," Another cough. "Fine. I swear."
"If you insist."
After a while, I turned to face her, worried she wasn't enjoying herself anymore, only to find her sound asleep, clinging lightly to my shirt. See? I told you were sleepy. You just refused to listen to me. I stopped and watched the girl, moving little by little, afraid of waking her up.
She looked so peaceful. Though, it wouldn't be the first time I find her sleeping in my presence. I tugged a small strand of hair behind her ear as she shifted a little. I immediately paused. Shit, had I woken her? Though she soon returned to her slumber and she curled up into a ball in front of me.
I suppose this would suffice.
"Goodnight, darling." I whispered softly, laying next to her in the bed. "See you in the morning."
-----
[2nd person]
You awoke early in the morning, feeling well rested. Your bed was awfully more comfortable than you had remembered. You sat up and rubbed your eyes, finally opening them for the first time, only to find that you weren't in your own room. It took you a while to let things simmer in.
That's when you heard snoring next to you.
You turned to find the Radio Demon cuddled into a ball next to you in bed sleeping oh so soundly. The poor man probably hadn't had sleep in days. Before you could process what was happening, you checked the time and realized you had to be back at the bar for work in 5 minutes. Not wanting to wake Alastor up, you left him a quick note to thank him and left.
----
The whole day passed and you never caught sight of Alastor. After closing the bar, you headed to Alastor’s room,hoping to find him there.
You stop at his door and break out a tiny laugh.
On the door, a rushed sign saying — Sick. Keep out.
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blackrocks-king · 3 months ago
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Hello . .? I would be afraid to freeze this device if I am going to use this ..
❄️❄️❄️
𝙒𝙚𝙡𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙩𝙤 ( 𝘾𝙧𝙪𝙚𝙡 ) 𝙆𝙞𝙣𝙜’𝙨 𝙖𝙨𝙠𝙗𝙡𝙤𝙜!
INFO ABOUT THE KING!
— His name is Aspen , but it’s best to refer him as Your Majesty. ( obviously . . )
— He is a Snow Owl! The only animalistic features are his wings and feathers around his body. ( Not shown due to the clothing , wings can be seen from time to time. )
— He has a sweet tooth. :P
— The King here has a bit of lore to him, maybe if you ask or talk to him about the right stuff .. he might reveal something. You’ll never know.
— ( Reference sheet coming soon idk when lol.. )
— Married to Mayor Thaniyel!
MAYOR THANIYEL CAN ANSWER ASKS NOW!
— You can refer to him as Mr/Sir!
— He enjoys indulging in desserts, especially pudding and ice cream.
— He doesn’t enjoy loud noises. Don’t scare him! ( Please. )
— His responses will be coloured green, rather than just the default colour like King.
— ( Reference sheet coming when I wanna lol sorry.. )
— Married to King Aspen! ( Or Cruel King. :)
/// PERSONAL INFO ///
— This is an askblog inspired by a good friend of mine. :)
— I don’t mind any suggestive asks. Just don’t go overboard. ( NSFW + Probs other stuff I won’t say and WONT accept. )
— I write ALOT in tags. Sometimes it’s just some personal comment , or actual context. Please keep an eye out!
— This blog contains the ship of Iced Tea ( Mayor Thaniyel x Cruel King ) and it’s pretty much implied ( or obvious… ) they’re together!
— Asks can take quite a bit. Either because of work or personal life in general. Update posts will be made at some point , but deleted afterwards.
— ↑ If your ask hasn’t been answered , it’s either cause of these reasons above or I have stuff planned for them! Please be patient .. I’m excited to do your asks. :] If they are still not answered, do not push me to answer them any further.
— Some replies/answers will either be in digital , or traditional. Don’t expect your ask to be replied with art!
— ↑ If you want your ask to be answered in a specific way, make sure to give out the details of what you want! ( Just a suggestion, but HIGHLY appreciated since I can’t always tell what you want <:] ) You can DM the mod OR say it in your ask in brackets.
DNI REQUIREMENTS
— EXTRA ( PLS READ ) —
@agenteighter is the owner of this blog. Refer to me as Agent!
‘\\\ [text]’ usually means OOC.
If YOU have any questions about the blog , PLEASE ask the person running this blog!!
ALL of the art done here is drawn by Agent. Either on a doodle board, my sketchbook, IbisPaintX or Procreate! This blog is handled by one person anyways .. Who else? Lmao ..
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vaporwavebeach-writes · 1 year ago
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Kinktober Day 9 (Stripping)
Soldier Boy x Reader (NSFW)
(945 Words)
Summary: you tell Soldier Boy about your mission before hopping in the shower
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Warnings/Tags: 18+, gender neutral reader, little bit of blood, typical canon violence (it’s the boys duh), alcohol consumption, making out, striptease, heavily implied shower sex at the end
Notes: this was a fun change in pace after yesterday’s prompt LMAO anyway I love soldier boy, enjoy the fic!!!
-
The door behind you closes with a slam as you catch your breath. You quickly walk over to the mirror in the corner, you take in your bloodied appearance, trying to process the completely batshit insanity that was your last mission. You feel yourself take shakily taking in deep breaths, still running high on adrenaline.
“Hey there.”
You whip your head around to see Ben, sitting on the couch, nursing a small bottle of bourbon. He looks at you, amused. Seeing you caked in blood and sweat seemed like this seemed just like a normal Tuesday for Ben, considering all his experiences way back in the day during his glory days as the legendary Soldier Boy, where he would be in the same position as you.
“Hi,” you reply, staring at him for a moment.
“What happened to you? You look like shit,” he grins.
“You-” you make your way over to him, slumping down on the couch beside him, not giving a shit about the dried up blood occupying your clothes. “…Have no idea.” you sigh. With a subtle nod, he passes you the bottle, where you swiftly gulp down a couple sips, feeling that delicious burn run down your throat. “Where’s?-”
“Butcher and the cum guzzler?” You nod at him witch a chuckle. “They’re out, doing god only knows what, which gives us…” he wraps an arm around your shoulder, pulling you in. “…The perfect opportunity to release some of that pent up adrenaline.” You meet his gaze, brilliantly hazel with flecks of green staring at you wolfishly.
“You know what?” You take his hand in yours, pulling him up, “I think I’d like that”
“There we go,” he chuckles. Once he gets up to his feet, Ben can’t keep his hands off you. His large hands are on your waist, gripping the small of your back.
You lean in to kiss him, and he tilts his head to yours, giving you access. The sensation of his tongue in your mouth sends shivers down your spine, letting out a soft groan. Ben lets out a perverted snicker, as his hands make their way to your ass, groping you firmly, keeping flush against his chest.
Your feverish make out session leads you two to the bathroom, messily slamming the door as you find yourself positioned sitting on the closed toilet.
“Easy there, Soldier Boy,” you chide, annunciating his hero name with a sensual drawl, biting his lip gently as you pull away from his kiss, maneuvering yourself on top of him. “As much as I’d love for you to completely wreck me,” you continue, getting up from straddling him, “I feel fucking disgusting.”
“That’s alright babe,” Ben says eagerly, “I don’t mind a little mess.” He winks.
“Oh, I know you don’t,” you voice flirtatiously, “I was hoping you could watch me take off these messy clothes,” you lean back toward the sink, “…And maybe join me in the shower?”
“Oh sweetheart,” Ben lets out a low, gravelly chuckle. You sense the heat in his voice and hearing it sends arousal shooting to your sex, which begins to ache in anticipation. “You make a very tempting offer, I’m in.”
You shoot him a sly look as you begin to undress yourself slowly. “You wanna know how I got all bloody?” You glance over to Ben, who lets out a noise of approval. “I was hunting a supe, nothing special, one of the D-listers.” The first item to go is your jacket, which you unzip slowly, giving Ben access to look at your chest, which prominent through the fabric of your shirt.
“He was on the run after getting himself in hot water with Vought.” The jacket hits the floor as you continue to speak. “Unfortunately for him, he ran into me before Vought could get to him.” Next, off come your pants. You turn around, giving Ben a decent view of your ass before teasing him with just enough, and turning back around. “He had some info I needed, and was too stupid to give it to me, so I figured it would be better to put him out of his misery before Vought got their claws in him and probably would’ve done something worse.”
You find yourself on top of Ben once again, pulling off your shirt, exposing your upper half to him. You can feel his length, hard and eager through his grey sweatpants. Coquettishly, you decide to have a little fun, grinding on him ever so slightly. A guttural moan erupts from Ben’s throat, you can’t tell if the wet patch is coming from you or Ben as you feel the arousal rip through you. Left in nothing but your underwear, you reach the peak of your story.
“He put up a fight- more of one than I thought, but it wasn’t so bad once I crushed his skull with my bare hands.” You get off him abruptly, not wanting to finish this before it even gets started. You flip open the shower curtain and turn on the faucet, hearing the shower pour down.
Slipping off your final piece of clothing, you are completely nude as you motion for Ben to take off his own clothes and meet you in the shower.
“Jesus,” he stares at you in awe, getting up and frantically removing his own clothes, haphazardly tossing his Giants jersey to the side and ripping off his sweatpants. “My god, you’re gonna be the death of me,” he grunts, before sliding his arm around you and pulling you into the shower with him.
You giggle before pulling him into a sloppy kiss, sliding the shower curtain closed behind you.
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spid3namy · 1 year ago
Text
— AUGUST
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pairing : e!42 miles x mixed!female reader
summary : rumors spread like wildfire around school, everyone knew everyone's business. who knew the only rumor about you and your boyfriend would be true...?
contains : angst, cheating, song inspired (obviously), they are mid to late teens, miles lowkey stupid asf, implied lying (kind of), might have some incorrect spanish, cussing, not proof read
divider creds : saradika
word count : 2031
notes : lowkey, i only wrote this cus i literally love this song and figured why not write angst. this is my way of being productive while also being lazy asf LMAO. i probably might start a taglist for people who wanna be tagged when i post new things but we’ll see. anyways, i hope you enjoy the story <3
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“Will you call when you're back at school...?”
Summer vacation.
For some, it was a great way to get away from school. To hang out with friends, to spend time with family. Others, it was nothing but a cruel and long three and a half months. 
For you, it was supposed to be a great three and a half months!
Until you found out that you were being shipped away to your grandparents house to spend time with them. Sure, you loved your grandparents but they were just.. so old. Summer was supposed to be the time when you hung out with your best friends!
And most importantly, your boyfriend! But no. 
Before you knew it, you had been packed up and sent on a flight all the way up to the shitty state of Washington. And that’s cruelly how you spent your summer vacation. Being around old people for a long three and a half months literally sucked.
September 18.
The day school started was a nightmare.
Rumors spread around like wild-fire at Visions Academy. Well, you knew that much. Especially with all the rumors that happened last year about the girl that had gotten pregnant. Of course, that rumor had been a lie. But everyone knew about it in the spam of like 20 minutes.
“Y/N! Have you heard yet?”
Your best friend, Juno, is the first one to come up to you the moment you walk through the doors. She was always so pretty when she came to school. If you all didn’t have to wear uniforms, she’d probably be the hottest girl in school with those fire ass fits you knew she owned.
“Heard what exactly?”
“Okay, so I’m guessing you haven’t heard then.”
You look at the girl and raise an eyebrow, brushing your braids behind your shoulder to flow down your back. What the hell was she on about now? Juno was your best friend, yes, but she was too into the gossip the school had going on. Most times, you couldn’t even believe the words she said. 
“Well, are ya gonna tell me?”
Juno stared at you for a few moments before she shrugged, figuring that if you really wanted to know then she would tell you. Even if she knew it was gonna hurt you, it was best if you found out from her and not some random stranger who probably would tell it in the worst way possible.
“Promise you won’t get mad?”
“Uh.. okay? I promise.”
Juno let out a breath and gripped the strap of her tote bag tightly before she spoke in a mess of jumbled up words. “Okay so basically, I heard from Dorothea who heard it from Suki who heard it from Rose who heard it from Verity who heard it from Betty who heard it from Venus, herself, that she and Miles had a little fling over the summer.”
You blink as you watch Juno suck in a huge intake of air. She was acting as though she had been waiting a long time to gain some type of air in her lungs. 
You soon burst out into laughter and shook your head, holding your stomach as you laughed. Juno watched you with confusion clear on your face; she clearly didn’t understand what the hell was funny. 
Once you had slowly started to calm down, you wiped an imaginary tear from your eye and shook your head, looking at the female. 
“Whew, thanks Jun, I really needed a laugh today.”
“I’m being serious, Y/N. I totally think it’s true too!”
“That’s ridiculous, Miles would never do anything like that. Me and he are locked in.”
Juno stares at you before she shrugged; the two of you started your descent down the hallway to where your shared first class was. 
“‘M just sayin’ what I heard. Only Miles would really know what happened. Just hope he doesn’t lie to you.”
You snort and roll your eyes playfully, nudging her with your shoulder and looking over at her. “He would never lie to me.”
“Whatever you say, Y/N. But just remember: men ain’t shit”
“Tha.. thank you for that, Juno. But you’re not really the greatest person to say that. Especially since you’re biased as hell.”
“What? I am not biased!” 
“Yes you are”
Juno rolled her eyes as the two of you walked into the classroom. Anatomy, the board read.
Great, seeing bodies and stuff at 8 in the morning was gonna be so fun. And it was a block class. How fun.
Lunch. Possibly the only good thing about being at this stupid school. You and Juno stand in line together, looking at all the options of food you can pick out. It’s not much. Pizza, nachos, salads, and hot dogs. Barf. 
You let out a sigh and grabbed a plate that had a pretty decent sized slice of pizza. Juno looks over at you and makes a face before she reaches over to grab a salad. The two of you quickly scan your school ids to pay for the food before you walk over to a table where Miles had been sitting. He had been there alone for a while now. 
He was fortunate enough to have his own food.
Juno sits in front of you two before she nudges her head over to the male who was too busy drawing in his stupid sketchbook to even notice that you were even there. You give a look before you sit down next to your boyfriend, peering over his shoulder a little to see what he was doing.
“Whatcha drawin’?”
“You.”
The answer was so flat, so blunt. It caused your cheeks to heat up when you realized that he was, in fact, drawing you. Miles had always been so good at drawing. It was one of his many talents. 
“You two make me sick.”
“You’re just jealous, Jun. It’s not our fault that your mystery girl doesn’t know you exist.”
Juno lets out a dramatic cry and puts her head down when you mention the girl she had a crush on since 8th grade. It was a little cute that she’s liked her for so long. Yet, she has never even attempted to make a move on her.
“I just wish Leni would notice me.”
“Just talk to her, it ain’t that hard.” That earned Miles a glare despite the fact that he didn’t even really see it. Not like he really cared. He was just speaking the truth.
“Not everyone is brave enough for that, Miles.”
“Jus’ quit being a fuckin’ pussy and talk to her.”
Juno glared at him more and started to stand up. You shake your head quickly to get her to sit down. You already knew where this was headed and you really didn’t want the two of them to get into a huge argument. Not again. Not this school year.
Juno lets out a noise of frustration before she sits back down, her hand gripping the fork in her hands tightly. 
“At least, I didn’t cheat on my girlfriend.”
That seemed to gain his attention. Miles looked up from his sketchbook and quickly put his pencil down, looking at her with a look that could only be described as anger.
“Where the hell did you hear that from?”
“Miles..”
“Callarse la boca”
You look offended by his words but you don’t have time to dwell on it before Miles speaks again, his voice clear with annoyance.
“Where did you hear that from, Juno? Huh?!”
“Dorothea told me.”
Miles takes a deep breath at that, his nostrils flaring slightly as he lets out a deep and heavy exhale. He was screwed because now you knew about it. And he knew how you were going to act now that you knew. 
“Why are you gettin’ so upset, babe? It’s not like it’s true, right?”
Miles looks over at you and sighs, his shoulders tensing up as he clears his throat awkwardly. Guess it was time to be honest now. 
“Mi vida, listen... it-”
You blink and stare at you, anger slowly starting to fill up your body. You don’t even let him get another word out before you raise your hand and slap him. The feeling caused his face to sting, his face turned to the side from the impact. He lets out a slow breath and nods to himself; he knew he deserved it. 
“Fuck you, Morales.”
And with those harsh words spat, you get up and walk away from him. Juno and Miles both watch as you leave before Juno looks over at him, shaking her head and letting out a sigh.
“You fucked up man.”
“No, really? Thanks for the news flash, sherlock.”
“Don’t get smart with me, boy.”
Miles glares at the girl as she gets up and goes after you. God, he was so fucking stupid!
It’s been a week since you last spoke to Miles. You have been avoiding him at school and even went as far as changing seats in the classes you shared with him. You did everything in your power to try and be as far away from him as possible. Miles didn’t seem to let that affect him.
Even if you were far away from him, he would still do his very hardest to talk to you. To explain what happened between him and Venus over the summer. But of course, you didn’t listen. Couldn’t listen to a word he said. It would be nothing but a lie.
Juno was right; men ain’t shit.
It was almost sickening to think that your once loyal and sweet boyfriend would turn out to be a dirty, rotten cheater! And to think it only took one summer for him to change. That was so fucked up man. You hated how easily you had allowed yourself to be betrayed. 
How could someone be so sweet one minute then betray you the first chance they got? It really made no sense to you. 
A knock on your bedroom door was enough to pull yourself from your thoughts. Your head snapped up just as the door opened to reveal Juno, a sheepish smile on her face as she practically jumped on you.
“What are you doin’ here, Jun?”
“I was summoned by your father.”
You let out a snort and roll your eyes, moving over slightly to give her more room to sit on the bed. It was sweet how she wanted to comfort you but you already knew it wasn’t going to work. You were too hurt to ever feel better after just a few visits but you appreciate the effort.
“Should I beat his ass?”
“No.. it’s fine, Jun. I don’t really care, ya know? I already got over it!”
“Mhm. and is that why you’re still avoiding him?”
“Shut the fuck up.”
Juno lets out a chuckle and moves closer to you, wrapping an arm around your shoulder gently and pulling you closer for a side hug. It was the best thing she could think of doing right now. 
“Ya know.. He’s stupid for doing that to you. He don’t know what he’s missing.”
And that did it. Before you knew it, you had burst out into tears. Juno rubbed the side of your arm gently and allowed you to cry on her shoulder, soaking her shirt with your tears. She knew you probably needed this right now.
“I fuckin’ hate him, Jun.”
“I know, Y/N.”
“I wish I never met him!”
“I know, Y/N”
The two of you stay like that for an hour. Maybe longer. Who knew? It didn’t matter anyway. Juno was too busy trying to comfort you while you bawled your eyes out. It hurt so fucking much. 
All the trust that you had put into Miles was now gone. 
And it was all his fault. 
Seeing him everyday at school hurt worse than any pain imaginable. But at least you had Juno by your side, you knew she would never hurt you. She was your best friend. She was different than him.
You wish you had never fallen in love with Miles Morales.
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diorsluv · 1 year ago
Text
feather , part 19
“ you act like a bitch ”
series m. list previous chapter next chapter
( socialmedia!au )
missseraphina
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liked by lhughes_06 and 674 others
missseraphina not quite golden hour but you make it feel like it anyway 🌅
view all comments
username16 i’m gagging.
username47 fuck no lmaooo
username3 so cringe
username92 luke isn’t even commenting he’s only liking her posts 😭😭
→ username96 i knowww like this has got to be the most embarrassing thing i’ve ever seen
username77 miss girl is trying way too hard
username30 ignore the haters babe!
liked by missseraphina
username25 i honestly would off myself
username81 god please tell me this is all just a bad dream
username20 this is my 13th fucking reason. i need my dryshughes crumbs rn
yourusername super cute! golden hour is any hour when you’re with the one you love 🥰
→ missseraphina thanks i guess? lmao and yeah maybe that’s why he always tells me i’m glowing
username1 don’t fucking tell me she just implied that luke loves her in lil drizzy’s replies
username6 there’s no way luke didn’t comment but his ex girl did
→ username49 lmfaooo i don’t think she’s his ex
→ username37 at this point she might as well be
username42 stopp this is so adorable
username21 so happy for u!!
username69 someone gouge my eyes out i’m begging
lhughes_06
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liked by jackhughes, markestapa, yourusername, and 77,298 others
lhughes_06 throwback time? 🫣
tagged: yourusername
view all comments
trevorzegras kid u make me laugh LMAOOO
→ lhughes_06 glad i could be of service
→ _alexturcotte fr this is too funny
→ colecaufield who needs netflix when you have luke
username56 I CANTTT they all see it as a joke
→ username84 it is a joke bro 💀 like luke’s just fucking around w mississippi
yourusername were u just keeping these photos locked up for months 🙄🙄
→ lhughes_06 i mean they’re not even that old tbh
→ yourusername aw just wanted an excuse to post me huh?
→ lhughes_06 dont even need an excuse
username61 DRYSHUGHES IS MAKING A COMEBACK
→ username4 I AM GOBBLING THE DRYSHUGHES CRUMBS UPP
username73 i just bet my friend $30 they get together by the end of the hockey season
→ username50 ur investing a lot into a relationship that doesn’t even exist yet
→ username73 key word: yet
missseraphina oh but the retro days have been over, no need for a throwback 😁
dylanduke25 i vividly remember you got us kicked out of the restaurant as soon as you threw her over your shoulder
→ lhughes_06 no you got us kicked out bc u squirted ketchup all over mackie
→ mackie.samo you stained my favorite white shirt and i’m still waiting for you to replace it 😒
→ yourusername that was your doing dyl don’t even
→ markestapa i thought it was because eddy kept screaming
→ edwards.73 BECAUSE DUKER WAS HARASSING ME
→ dylanduke25 🙁🙁
_alexturcotte i left you on the curb for a minute so i could heat up the car and i came back to you snuggling
→ lhughes_06 we were tired
→ yourusername WE WERE NOT SNUGGLING
→ jackhughes i mean you did look pretty cozy
→ lhughes_06 i was pretty cozy
username75 luke’s just stirring it up and i’m here for it
→ username21 fr cuz that other girl was bein a bitch to MY girl 🙄
username98 lmfaooo mississauga doesn’t even realize he dont gaf abt her
next chapter notes ) mississippi be doin too much frfr, but its okay bc luke dont even want her 🥱
tags: @aliaology @hockeyboysarehot @absolutelyhugh3s @jackquinnswife @freds-slut @love4ldr @blueeyedbesson @43hughes @v1olentdelights @dancerbailey3 @random-human02
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yearninqheart · 7 months ago
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fine line
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We’ll be a fine line, we’ll be alright.
pairing: regulus black x reader
word count: 2.6k
tags: gender-neutral!reader, non-magic/muggle au, exes to lovers—technically, some angst, some fluff, reader is mentioned to be sick, sort of implies player!reg, trust fund kid!reg, potter!reader (the occupation, not the surname)
warnings: Walburga Black gets her own warning (briefly mentioned), mentions of eating, not proofread sorry. lmk if i missed anything please!
notes: let’s not talk about how i dipped after posting two sandman fics and a (now cancelled) series master for c!w*lbur i never even posted chapter one for. but anyways, heyy how’ve y’all been?? <3 if you follow my main this isn’t even the fic i’ve been talking about, technically. i have a longer reg fic in the works that i hope to finish one day atp lmao. let me know what you think of this fic in the meantime though, i’m apologize for my rusty writing this is more so a writing practice for me but i did have this prompt in my notes for a while so, here she is!
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"It took you long enough." Regulus said with a huff, hand still midair about to knock before you had swung the door open, which leads you to the situation you were now thrust into: your ex-boyfriend standing in your doorway with bags of groceries and takeout in hand.
"Regulus I'm really-" He barely lets you speak before easily letting himself in, setting the bags onto your countertops as he began preparing whatever it was he had bought. "Not in the mood right now..."
Seeing as he's already throwing ingredients into one of your pots, there would be no use in even trying to get him to leave so you shut the door behind you and decided to take a seat at the island, watching as he worked. However, the moment you even took a step forward he was setting down the knife and urging you to go to bed.
"You need to rest, I don't care how much sleep you say you got, you need more. Go. I'll leave some tea by your nightstand." Was all he said before guiding you back to your room and closing the door, barely letting you face him before the door closed, leaving you with too many thoughts when all your body wanted was to curl back into bed. And given that Regulus was seemingly going to be making dinner, there was really no reason to not listen to him. 
When you woke up again, who knows how many hours later, you found a cup of tea by your nightstand as promised, steam coming off the top of it as you took a sip. It briefly brought a small smile to your face before you remembered who exactly it was that put it there.
You felt much better as you got out of bed, taking a moment to stretch before walking towards the hallway where Regulus' voice was slightly muffled due to the soft music he had left on in the background. It was a song you had once loved and played whenever Regulus came over for dinner after work. It's been a while since he's last entered your home as your boyfriend, but he seems content to live in ignorance bliss whenever he comes over-oftentimes unannounced and/or invited —and the song just so happens to appear in the queue.
Your current relationship with Regulus was complicated. The two of you had broken up nearly five months ago, putting an end to a three year relationship that was going seemingly well. One would've thought such a sudden break would cause a rift between you two (it was what you were hoping for anyways) but it appears that Regulus doesn't seem to care. You're certain he's doing it out of spite, but another part of you hopes that there's more to his actions than simply 'spite". It wasn't easy choosing to end such a perfect relationship after all, much less your choice.
As you entered the kitchen, you were met with Regulus' back as he hunched over your countertop, focused on cutting the tomatoes just right even though he knows you hate them (he says it helps with the flavour and you agree, but that doesn't stop you from hating them). You watch as he finishes prepping the food, moving effortlessly around your kitchen to find the exact items he needs. Everything is still where they were when you kicked him out five months ago, and he knows you well enough that that'll never change.
"The salt's on the table."
Except for the salt and pepper, since you were too lazy to put it back after using them last night.
"Good Morning sunshine." He joked, enjoying the way your eyes rolled at the stupid nickname as you stepped towards him.
"Whatcha making?"
"Stew. It just needs to simmer a bit more so that the vegetables cook. Do you want to freshen up while I finish up here?"
You give him a nod, your body stiffening when the normalcy between you makes you forget that you're no longer dating and you catch yourself almost leaning forward to rest your chin on his shoulder. Too embarrassed to even look up at him, you quickly ran off to your bathroom before he could say another word.
By the time you were back, Regulus was just done setting up the dinner table. A part of you hated how you left his spot vacant even after all that's happened. You were in a new city starting anew, you didn’t need a second sea at your dinner table. However, the other part seemed to enjoy how naturally Regulus filled that spot, both the seat across from yours at the table and your home in general. Despite your numerous attempts of trying to push him out of your life he has simply refused and made it apparent he was staying in your life one way or another. Whether that be as your lover or a friend, he was there to stay.
"Dinners ready!" He hummed, catching your attention as he nodded towards your seat.
He was going to turn in the direction opposite of the table but upon noticing your silence, understood and added, "I'll join you in a sec, just going to put these dishes in the sink."
That seemed to be all you needed to hear as you took your seat at the small dinner table, waiting patiently as Regulus allowed the dishes to soak before wiping down the countertops then joining you at the table.
The meal, aside from simple requests of can you pass me some napkins and where's the salt, was silent. Music that you are now certain is playing from the playlist you made after he had moved into the apartment was still playing in the background and brought forth a wave of nostalgia you didn't think you'd get. The normalcy of it all was frustrating however, and you didn't mean to slam your spoon onto the table but he didn't even appear to be fazed by your sudden outburst. It was about time this happened. 
"Why do you keep doing this?" You asked, watching as he simply continues to finish his stew, refusing to look you in the eyes for once.
"Doing what?"
"This!" You gestured around you exaggeratedly. "Visiting me still, cooking for me, keeping me company. We broke up already, Regulus."
"I know." Came his response.
"So why do you keep showing up?" There was no malice to your question. No venom coated words or sharp tongue, only pure curiosity seeing as you've raked your mind for months wondering why he wasn't leaving you alone despite all your efforts.
For a moment, Regulus remained quiet. He didn't look up at you nor did he say a word, slowly finishing his stew and wiping his mouth before setting the plate aside to finally look at you.
"Why are you so persistent we distance ourselves?"
You almost scoffed at his question. For one, you two were now no longer dating, so why continue to see each-other as often as you did whilst dating. Secondly, neither of you will be able to properly heal and move on if the very person you've chosen to leave is still in your everyday life. And thirdly… his mother.
Walburga Black is the wife of a wealthy man in London. Wealthy enough that she was able to fund your entire move to Scotland where she had hoped would be far enough for Regulus to leave you alone and also powerful enough that she was able to even achieve that wish in the first place. The relocating part at least it seems. She had given you a generous job offering for a company she had connections to. It paid better than your job back home and allowed you some extra cash so that you wouldn’t be living paycheck to paycheck. All she asked of you was to ‘leave Regulus alone’. 
Obviously you had refused at first, but with a status like hers and the connections she had, it would not be worth going against her. A week after her initial offer, you had agreed to her deal with a sullen mood as she transferred an additional cheque to your account for ‘being so understanding’. You bit your tongue and simply thanked her before being escorted out of her office and to the car waiting outside. Regulus was currently on a trip to New York, so by the time he landed your cell would be deactivated and your apartment would be bare, leaving behind no traces of you or your relationship for him to hold. 
“This will be better for him.” Walburga had told you. “If there’s no traces of you ever being there, it’ll be easier for him to move on. We don’t need him clinging onto the past now do we?” 
You had agreed, because what else were you to do? 
Even you had assumed Regulus would stay in London. He had everything there, why throw it all away? But it appears that both you and his mother underestimated his dedication–although it is what continues to confuse you every time you see his face. 
"Why did you come all the way here?" Your voice was so soft he almost had to strain to hear you. "You had everything back home, why did you abandon it all just to come here? Don’t you miss your old lifestyle?"
The way he was looking at you made you feel like the answer was blatantly obvious. His brows were furrowed as he tilted his head sideways, appearing to be carefully choosing his next words before sitting up on his chair, letting his elbows rest on the table as the next song started to play from the speaker.
"I had everything back in London because I had you. What good is anything back there if you're suddenly on a train heading north?"
There it was, the confirmation you had both been dreading and waiting to hear since you stepped foot into your new apartment.
"But your mother-"
"Bought us a nice apartment to live in, I know. Such a sweet parting gift don't you think?"
You could almost laugh, had it not been for how hard your heart was pounding at the confirmation you had been waiting to hear for so long. Ironic how despite practicing how you would react when the time came you were now rendered frozen as you tried to come to terms with the fact that it finally happened.
"Regulus," You started but he cut you off by calling your name and for the first time in five months, he looked just like your Reg. He looked at you as if it hasn't been the most excruciating five months for you both, with such a tender and sweet expression you could almost melt.
You had expected the worst. Had practiced your defences for when the fight would occur but it never had the chance to bloom. Instead of getting upset, Regulus simply placed your hands in his, a thumb smoothing over the tops of your knuckles before speaking.
"Perhaps I did have everything," He began. "But I don't know why you subconsciously view me as the kind to even care if I inherit the company or not. They could give it all to the intern for all I care and I'd let them. They can take my name off their will, take back my cards and properties too and it wouldn’t even matter to me."
He saw you open your mouth to speak and cut you off before a sound could even pass your lips.
"I love you." He reminded you for the first time in five months. "I love you, even if it means I am no longer an heir to a multimillion company and my family hates me. Truly I don't care for them if the answer has always been you."
It was almost deafening how hard your heart was pounding, threatening to burst out of your chest any second now if you didn't calm down but how could you possibly do that? How could you even think to calm down when he’s just confessed his love for you at the expense of everything he’s ever known and had. 
Regulus did not say anything further, instead letting you take it all in as he hummed softly along to music while his thumb continued to run over the ridges of your knuckles.
After a moment, he brought your hands towards his face and pressed a kiss to it before clasping his other hand around your own. "I thought I was pretty forward to everyone about my affections towards you, was I not clear enough?" He mumbled quietly.
He was. Upon his first time meeting you, there was a visible shift in his attitude which all of his friends had quickly noticed. He'd decline offers of going out in favour for a quiet dinner at his penthouse with you, cancel on clubbing because you wanted to explore the waterfront when you couldn't sleep at night, he even took up pottery classes since you worked at a studio nearby his apartment and it would mean Regulus could be in your presence for longer, even if he would be bailing on a flight to Paris that his friends had invited him to.
(He thought they would get the hint that he no longer cared for partying but instead began inviting you to come along as well after he introduced you to them.
Regulus had quickly shut them down, though that didn't stop Mary from giving you her number so that you could make plans later.)
All to say that not once since you met him, did Regulus make it unknown or unclear that he was utterly in-love with you. So why did you doubt him when his mother sent you away?
His mother was the simple answer. But as he encouraged you to elaborate, Walburga turned out to only play a fraction of that fear. It was the thought of ripping him from the lifestyle he knew and was accustomed to, from the title and norms he's been raised to adhere to. Sure Walburga was also terrifying, but more so was the thought that Regulus would be throwing away all he ever knew just because of a little crush. 
Business meetings since he was a child, attending galas dressed to the nines with a flock of eligible girls hanging off his arm, fancy dinner parties in different cities every night–if not the most exclusive in the city for when he decides to stay home–was nowhere close to your everyday life. In all honesty, your paths were probably never meant to cross but somehow managed to intertwine at just the right moment, for the love of your life to be here with you now. Now you understand however, that despite the differences in your upbringing and previous lifestyle, this is what he now wants–a simple, easy lifestyle with his lover by his side. 
"I'm sorry." You apologized with a sigh, finally feeling the defeat of the act you've put up since Walburga got into your head about "tarnishing his image".
"Why are you apologizing, love?" A hand came up to hold your cheek, while the other drew comforting circles on top of your own.
"For listening to your mother?" You offered with a short laugh although it didn't quite reach your eyes. It never did whenever his mother was the topic. He couldn't blame you, but that was now in the past.
"Forget her, we'll be alright now."
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taglist, lmk if you want to be added/removed! @retvenkos @with-love-anu @screennamealreadyused @princekooks @jackys-stuff-blog
137 notes · View notes
cheonsarchive · 2 years ago
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Sunghoon | Unspoken
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Pairing: Sunghoon x Fem!Reader
Genre: College!AU, Best Friends to Lovers!AU, Angst, Fluff, Suggestive
Featuring: the rest of ENHYPEN, LE SSERAFIM, TXT, aespa
Warnings: Cursing, suggestive content, mentions of/implied sex (no explicit smut), reader is COMPLICATED (I'm sorry lmao), mentions of death
Summary: You expected your summer break to be all relaxed and cozy, that was until your best friend decided to confess to you out of the blue. Cue a chaotic summer full of complicated feelings, denial, miscommunication and even more pining for each other than before. Bonus: Jake giving decent advice for once!
Word Count: 18k (what)
Playlist: Ruelle - War of Hearts, Nick Jonas ft. Tove Lo - Close, Lana Del Rey - Born To Die, Lostboycrow - Powers, Chase Atlantic - Meddle About, Aquilo - Losing You, Harry Styles - Falling
Author's Note: I rose from the dead to bring you a long awaited Sunghoon oneshot! I'm not too happy with it actually, but I'm a perfectionist when it comes to Sunghoon and I feel like I can't reach his standard anyway, so whatever lol. The first confession scene was inspired by Little Women (recommendation!), because it was perfect and needed to be reproduced in an ENHYPEN context. I would appreciate any kind of feedback. ❤️
If you want to be tagged in future ENHYPEN scenarios, let me know!
Masterlist
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The ring of the bell that announced the end of the lesson made you slump in your seat in relief. You never anticipated the familiar buzzing noise more than today, the last class before the summer break being over making a wave of excitement rush through your body.
This semester had been absolute hell and you couldn’t wait for the break to start to be able to live with an empty head, at least for a couple of weeks, before you had to start studying again. You managed to hand in your last paper the day before, so you could officially call it a day once your last class was over and leave campus as fast as possible. Your friend Yunjin wasn’t as lucky, though.
“I’m so jealous of you, I really need to work on my time management.” Yunjin huffs in disappointment, still having to hand in two papers before she can start her summer break. You smiled apologetically at her.
“No need to be though, you’ll go to Italy soon and have the greatest time sipping Aperol Spritz in the sun while I will rot here without you,” you pointed out.
“Don’t say that, you will probably chill at Sunghoon’s pool every day anyway. Plus, we’re gonna have the road trip coming up at the end of the break, remember? That’s gonna be so much fun!” she chimed.
Ah yes, the road trip. Your friend group has decided to go to the countryside for a few days at the end of each summer break to detox once more from the city (and university) life before the next semester starts. It was Yunjin’s idea and ever since it was planned she kept talking about it nonstop.
“We’ll see about Sunghoon’s pool. If Yeji is being annoying again, we might have to move somewhere else. Sunghoon has been complaining about how she has recently become really obsessed with this one boy at school and wants to throw a pool party to invite him,” you laughed, reminiscing the phone call you had with Sunghoon the other day where he kept complaining for an hour straight how annoying it is to have a younger sibling going through puberty. When you had told him that he was like that as well once, he firmly denied it, being his usual stubborn self.
“She’s growing so fast! I wonder how protective Sunghoon will be once she actually starts dating.” Yunjin wiggles her eyebrows at you. You let out a dry chuckle in response, imagination running wild about how whiny he would be, pretending to be cold and scary when he was actually a soft, loving brother to Yeji.
“He will be the absolute worst.” You shook your head in amusement. You knew Sunghoon like the back of your hand, so you knew that he would absolutely freak out if a boy dared to hurt his little sister. It was probably a natural response, one you wouldn’t know as you don’t have any siblings, but he was exaggerating a bit. Sometimes you wondered if he just wanted to fit into the overprotective big brother trope.
“Hello ladies! What are we talking about?” Heeseung greeted after suddenly walking next to you. You smiled back at him and could see a familiar relief in his eyes, one that was probably coating all of your faces. Next semester would be Heeseung’s last one in college, so the pressure was on.
“Just how Sunghoon is going be the worst big brother once his sister starts dating.” Yunjin shrugged and Heeseung broke out in a chuckle because he definitely agrees. You almost felt bad for shading Sunghoon like that, but you enjoyed teasing him about it.
“Do I even want to know how this topic came up? There is more than enough time to shit-talk Sunghoon later, we should be discussing how excited we are for the summer break instead!” Heeseung jumped up and down and you realized just how giddy he was because he rarely acts this hyper.
“We were! It’s not that exciting for me though, because I’m not going to travel like you two,” you defended, making both of them exchange glances and scoff in unison.
“Please, you wouldn’t survive without Sunghoon anyway. It’s not like you don’t enjoy spending every day with him during summer break.” Yunjin laughed and you glared it her.
It was true, though. Sunghoon and you were inseparable like pen and paper ever since you were in middle school. You spent the majority of time at each other’s homes, to the point where you wondered which place you should actually call your home, his or your own? But during exam season, you usually spend less time with each other because you’re too busy studying. So it has become your ritual to spend the beginning of summer break together to make up for the lost time. It was easy too because that was usually the time everyone else travelled anyway.
The fact that you never grew tired of each other really amazed everyone around you. Rumors started spreading quickly that you might be secretly dating, or at least crushing on each other. You’ve always confidently turned down such rumors, but especially Heeseung and Yunjin persisted that something was going on between you two and loved teasing you about it.
“If it’s about what I think it is, I don’t want to hear it.” You warned, seeing the suggestive look in their eyes. You grew tired of always having to defend your friendship with Sunghoon. Maybe because deep down, there was some truth to it.
Sunghoon and you fit each other like a glove. You always knew what the other one thinks without having to articulate it, you can talk about everything without feeling judged and you balance each other out with your skills and knowledge.
It already started in middle school. Sunghoon was more skilled in creative subjects whereas you were good in trickier ones like mathematics or chemistry. You started tutoring each other quickly, which helped both of you get through high school. He helped you with your art projects whereas you explained his math homework to him.
Sunghoon was there during many difficult times as well. He was there when you experienced your first heartbreak, and he comforted you when your grandpa died who you cherished so deeply. Even years later, when you confessed that you’re still struggling with his death, Sunghoon was quick to drop everything and come over to you to help you get through it.
And if that wasn’t enough, Sunghoon also grew incredibly handsome as time passed. Puberty really turned him into the best version of himself and it was no wonder many girls at university swooned over him. So really, wasn’t he perfect boyfriend material?
“No.” You turned to Yunjin with a surprised face, confusion written over your features. “You finally need to confront your feelings. Even a blind person can see that the connection you have is more than just friendship.”
You rolled your eyes. There was nothing to confront in your opinion, which made you really question why they couldn’t just drop the topic. Though you sometimes wondered if the longing gaze from Sunghoon held more than you thought.
“Yeah whatever. Call me when you’ve handed in your papers!” You announced your departure, hugging Yunjin extra tight since you probably won’t see her again before her trip overseas. You promised to keep in touch before you separated from your friends to get on the bus to Sunghoon’s house. He didn’t have classes today, so he slept in and waited at home, promising you to celebrate the beginning of summer break with fresh watermelon.
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“Lord have mercy.” You said with eyes as big as the watermelon in front of you. Sunghoon smiled cheekily, proudly presenting his purchase from the market. He posed like a model, and you slapped his arm playfully.
“That must have cost you a fortune.” You said feeling guilty, head dropping slightly. Sunghoon let out a tut at that.
“Don’t worry about it. Celebrating summer break is definitely worth it and much needed. I have to distract myself from wanting to curse at Professor Yoon.” Sunghoon exclaimed, the last part making you giggle quietly.
He expertly cut the watermelon in triangles and handed you a piece before sitting down opposite from you on the terrace. The sun had been cooking you and you wondered whether you will really survive a day at the pool. You really enjoyed spending time at Sunghoon’s house because of his big pool, but it stops being enjoyable once the temperatures hit a certain degree mark. The watermelon was not just needed as a way of celebrating, but also as a refreshment.
Once you took the first bite, you sighed in satisfaction, making Sunghoon suppress a laugh. You looked at him with a grim expression and cheeks stuffed like a squirrel.
“What?”
“Nothing, sounds like you really needed that one too. And you look cute with your mouth full.” He said, mimicking how your cheeks must have looked to him.
Yunjin and Heeseung might have classified that as flirting, but you knew Sunghoon was just bickering with you. He dropped comments like that from time to time, knowing you would always react with an annoyed expression.
“So, how is Yeji’s dating life going?” you taunted, trying to change the topic as you remembered the conversation you had with Yunjin and Heeseung earlier. Sunghoon’s smile dropped instantly and he groaned in annoyance.
“Don’t remind me. I told her to stay away from that prick but she is persistent.” He elaborated despite not wanting to have this conversation.
“You don’t even know him and call him a prick!” you laughed at your best friend being unreasonable, almost choking on your watermelon slice in the process. Sunghoon fixed you with a glare.
“I don’t have to know him to know he’s an idiot.” He defended but you could only raise a brow at him in response.
“Okay, you boy expert. You must know better.” You fake-praised but he brushed you off, taking another bite from his watermelon slice.
“I just want the best for my sister.” He said matter-of-factly, words almost unintelligible due to him chewing on his watermelon.
“I know, but you need to relax a little bit. Let her experience her first heartbreak if necessary and focus on your own miserable love life instead.” You joked, but Sunghoon grew tense upon hearing the second half of your sentence. He looked at you through his lashes, the way you acted completely unbothered by what you had just said irking him.
Once you finished eating you decided it would be too hot to stay outside, so you went to Sunghoon’s room to kill time. You plopped onto his bed while he was sorting some laundry, talking about everything and nothing. Unbeknownst to you, Sunghoon seemed stiff since earlier. You couldn’t pinpoint it, but you knew something was up with him today. It was like he was contemplating something.
For some reason, the topic of dating wouldn’t escape you today. Some time into the conversation, you drifted off to Yunjin’s boy escapades, laughing at the ridiculous stories she had told you.
You remembered Yunjin hooking up with that one guy from calculus, you guessed his name was Soobin, almost losing her virginity in a broom closet if it wasn’t for the janitor to catch them. She dropped him the moment she saw him drag another girl in said broom closet, able to imagine what was probably going on in there since she had first-hand experience. She never disclosed whether the janitor caught those two as well and you were oddly curious.
She started swiping on Tinder afterwards, meeting up with a guy whose name slipped from your memory, but you certainly remember the chaos that unfolded once she found out he was actually cheating on his girlfriend with her. For some reason, she was gravitating towards weird boys and she blamed it on them being Korean after a while.
So came Yunjin’s trip to Italy. It was honestly no surprise when she announced that she wants to start her “hot girl summer” experience with it. She started complaining about the lack of good-natured men around your campus and how she wants to try dating someone European. You started to question the intentions of her trip. Was it to relax and enjoy the Italian scenery, or was it to enjoy the Italian ‘scenery’?
“Maybe we should start our own hot girl and hot boy summer instead of being glued together all the time,” you fantasized absentmindedly, just the thought of it making you chuckle. You really weren’t the person to hit up strangers, and neither was he. Sunghoon tensed at your words, stopping in his tracks. His back was turned to you, but you could tell what you said stirred something in him. You patiently waited for his response, and he bit his lip, contemplating what to say.
“No, I don’t think that would be good.” he said quietly, but loud enough for you to hear. His breathing halted the moment you suggested getting to know other people.
“Why is that? I think you need to let go of the mysterious handsome guy image and finally get laid again.” you laughed, slightly confused by his changing demeanor.
“I don’t want to hook up with random girls.” He stated. At first, you didn’t think much of it. Sunghoon never seemed that interested in dating. He did have a short fling with a girl named Eunchae when he entered college, but it ended with a lot of tears and refusal to meet someone new. He tried to hook up here and there, but that stopped after a while too and you figured he might want to wait for a real girlfriend, not just some one-night stands with strangers.
It didn’t strike you how serious he was being about this. So, when he turned around to look at you, the atmosphere in the room shifted. His gaze held something you had never seen before. His gaze held so much, in fact, that it made you nervous. And like many times before, Sunghoon didn’t need to speak up for you to know what he meant. But unlike many times before, what he was thinking made your blood run cold.
“No.” you immediately blurted, eyes going wide in shock.
“Y/N, listen.” He rushed out once you started to get up from the bed.
“No, no. Sunghoon, please don’t.” you tried to shield from him, hoping it was all a misunderstanding. But things like misunderstandings weren’t in your code.
“Y/N it’s no use. We finally need to talk about this.”
“I think I’m going to be sick, I better go home,” you said, feeling the sudden urge to flee from the situation. You almost sprinted to the door and Sunghoon tried to block you from leaving his room, but you pushed him away in panic. As stubborn as he is, Sunghoon followed you suit, and you were glad that you two were alone at his house right now, because you wouldn’t want Yeji or his parents to overhear this conversation.
“Y/N please listen to me. I’ve started liking you a while ago already and I never said anything because I thought it wasn’t mutual. But sometimes I-… I just-… I got the feeling that we might have a chance as something more than friends. T-that you might want this too. I’ve waited so long for you to make a move and prove that I wasn’t imagining things and that you feel the same way for me. But it never happened, and I just can’t go on like this. I need you to know, okay?”
Sunghoon rambled so fast you almost couldn’t catch up with him, he blurted all that while you tried to get out of his house as quickly as possible. He kept going while you practically ran down the stairs, picking up your shoes and sliding into them. Before you turned the door knob of his front door, you turned around to look at him again. And it was a big mistake.
Sunghoon was wearing the most desperate expression you had ever witnessed. The fact that he just confessed to you made your stomach turn. You even noticed how his eyes turned glassy, was he crying? Disbelief was written over your face and all you could do was shake your head and say “No.” once more.
Something broke inside of Sunghoon when he became conscious of the fact that you were rejecting him at this moment. He mustered up the courage to tell you how he felt because everyone he had confined in told him you like him too and that he should finally tell you how he really feels. So, not only did he feel crushed by your rejection, but also by the backstab of his friends.
“Y/N I always thought we worked so well together, so I never understood why we couldn’t be more. Am I… Am I not good enough? I-is that the problem? If there is something I can change, let me know and I’ll-“
“Oh my God, Sunghoon, no. You’re literally perfect. I’m so grateful to have you by my side and I couldn’t be more thankful for all the times you comforted me and helped me to get out of trouble. You are honest and funny and- and you are committed, and I love you. But just not the way you want me to. I am sorry.” You interrupted him, feeling your eyes sting with tears, mirroring his. Sunghoon choked at your words. You realized at that moment that you haven’t seen him cry in ages. And to be the reason he was crying made you feel terrible.
“Please tell me why. I don’t understand.” He begged, sounding absolutely miserable while a tear managed to escape and run down his cheek slowly.
“I don’t know Sunghoon. I just don’t. We can’t ruin our friendship like this-”
“Who said this is ruining our friendship? Maybe we weren’t meant to be just friends in the first place!”
“Yes we were!” you snapped back at him, anger starting to bubble up inside of you, “Yes we were,” you repeated, more calmly this time, “don’t make this something it isn’t. Please.”
This was the moment you decided that you had to get out of there immediately. You couldn’t take the pressure anymore, the fact that he expected an answer from you. You were overwhelmed with the whole situation and couldn’t think straight, so your adrenaline rush decided for flight instead of fight. You quickly turned the door knob and rushed out of his home, leaving him behind.
“Y/N, wait!” was his last attempt to keep you by his side, but he was met with a door being slammed in his face instead. He stared at his front door in disbelief, trying to process what had just unfolded. How he ruined everything. Sunghoon wanted to hit himself for speaking up, he figured that he should have just stayed quiet instead. But it was eating at him how he was silently pining for you and you never reacted the way he wanted you to. It confused him how you always scoffed at him whenever he complimented you but enjoyed cuddling with him during your regular movie nights.
He always wondered if he was making everything up, if you weren’t giving him potential signs at all and he just interpreted them the wrong way. Yet, when he opened up to Jake about his crush for you Jake didn’t seem surprised and said that everyone knew you both liked each other. Emphasis on both. After some time passed, Jake reassured Sunghoon that it was no use pining like this and that he was sure you two were destined to be together. Sunghoon was still scared shitless because there was still the possibility of you rejecting him. And whatever happens, he can’t afford to lose you because of his stupid feelings.
Sunghoon can’t even remember when he started liking you. It randomly hit him one day when you were wiping some ketchup off his mouth after eating fries and his heart began to race uncontrollably. He started noticing how pretty your eyes and lips were, how well you carried yourself, how quick-witted you were and how you always seemed to be at ease when you were around him. He had an ability to calm you down that no one else had. And Sunghoon managed to mistake it for mutual interest.
Once you slammed the door in his face you stood in front of his house for a few minutes, trying to sort out your thoughts and get your feet to move. The gears in your head were turning at lightning speed and you couldn’t believe what had just happened. Wasn’t this what you always wanted?
You speculated if there was something more than friendship forming between you two from time to time. You started paying closer attention to Sunghoon’s small habits and the way he acts around you, appreciating the way he always puts your needs first and makes sure you’re always sorted first before he worries about himself. When your friends started asking about what you and Sunghoon were, you were quick to answer that you were just best friends, but you always questioned why they would ask that if you simply gave off friendship energy.
Sunghoon had everything you would look for in a partner. So why were you rejecting him? You never even calculated the possibility of him liking you back, and the sole idea of it made heat rush to your ears. For whatever reason it seemed so impossible to you that Sunghoon could hold similar feelings for you that you blatantly rejected any chance of you two getting into a relationship, pushing your feelings aside in the process. It annoyed you that your friends kept pushing you towards each other when it was clear as day to you that Sunghoon didn’t feel the same. For your own sanity, you couldn’t accept anything else.
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It's been over two weeks since Sunghoon confessed to you. And ever since then, you two didn’t talk to each other at all. It was the longest time you went without texting, calling and seeing each other. And you hated every bit of it. You missed Sunghoon like crazy, not talking to him felt like torture.
“You wouldn’t survive without Sunghoon.“
You hated how your friend was right. But you couldn’t bring yourself to text or call him, let alone appear at his house. He was probably hoping for you to reach out because he didn’t contact you either. To be fair, it was your turn after you ran away from him like that. But to put it simply, you had no clue how to address this situation.
You had spent the last couple of days rereading your text messages, smiling at all the fond memories you made and the stupid memes you constantly shared with each other. It made your heart ache for him even more and you started being angry at him for ruining a perfectly fine friendship. Things should have just stayed the way they were and the fact that everything was different now bothered you to no end.
Apart from missing Sunghoon, you also felt incredibly bored. With Yunjin and Heeseung being out of the country, your closest friends were all unavailable and all you did was lay in bed all day and reminiscence old times. You wondered how this shift in Sunghoon and your relationship would affect the whole friend group dynamic. Did you just doom more than one friendship?
Your boredom got to the point where you considered texting friends you rarely hang out with out of pure desperation. However, you didn’t manage to send out the text messages you had written and rewritten several times. You felt like you sounded too eager and decided to just continue decaying in your room, hoping that Sunghoon will find the courage to reach out to you first.
When you felt your phone vibrate next to you, you have never been so fast to check who messaged you, obviously hoping that your and Sunghoon’s telepathy had worked once again and he was the one to reach out. When you were met with a notification from Ningning, you were slightly disappointed, to say the least. Nevertheless, you opened her message.
Ningning~: Hey Y/N! I haven’t heard from you in a while so I wanted to reach out again. How is your summer break? Are you in town? I wanted to ask if you would like to join me tomorrow. There’s a party hosted by Yeonjun and I thought maybe you’d like to come too! Just let me know xx
You sighed. You really weren’t in the mood to party. But you were also dying of boredom, so should you just ignore the offer you got at being less lonely and having some fun? Maybe it can distract you from this whole Sunghoon situation. Alcohol was always a good way to drown your feelings, right? Wrong, but who cares.
You: Hey Ning, thanks for reaching out! I’d love to go! Just text me the details and I’ll be there x
You cringed. It didn’t sound like you at all. You hoped she wouldn’t notice and ask what’s wrong because you only wanted to talk to Yunjin about this at the moment. You considered calling her, but she already announced on the first day of her trip that the internet is really bad and she probably won’t be able to call or text much. Great.
To your surprise, Ningning didn’t notice your strange demeanor, texted you all the important information and before you knew it, you were standing in front of Choi Yeonjun’s apartment. You took the chance to actually style yourself for once, usually being too lazy to put in any effort to look good during the summer break. It did give you a boost of confidence, but you still weren’t sure if the party was a good idea.
And you realized it definitely wasn’t a good idea when you entered the apartment and the first thing you saw was Park Sunghoon standing at the other end of the hallway talking to a friend. As if he had a radar for you, he immediately locked eyes with you from across the hallway. You couldn’t read his expression but noticed how you stared at each other for a solid five seconds. Your skin burned under his gaze and you couldn’t hold eye contact any longer, quickly disappearing from his sight into another room. Ningning was quick to organize drinks for you and she did an amazing job at chatting you up, making you forget about your unplanned encounter with Sunghoon.
Of course, Sunghoon was at the party. What did you expect? He’s close with Yeonjun, and the fact that you couldn’t put two and two together before going to the party baffled you. But it was too late to run away now, and you decided to just try and ignore Sunghoon as much as possible. To your surprise, you really didn’t catch a glimpse of him for the rest of the evening. In fact, everything started to blur once Karina joined you and Ningning with a round of shots. Afterwards, you continued downing shots like no tomorrow and before you knew it, you were seriously drunk.
You did know your limit and you stopped once you noticed how close you were to feeling sick, but that didn’t change the fact that you developed some mobility problems. You decided to sit down in the living room, but the moment your body met the sofa you started dissociating. With no idea how much time had passed since you plopped yourself on Yeonjun’s sofa, you were only pulled out of your trance when you were met with four pairs of eyes in front of you. Your vision was blurry and when you tried your best to make out who it was, you regretted it.
“Y/N, are you okay?” Sunghoon asked, a worried expression painting his face. Ningning was next to him, she probably called him over because she didn’t know what to do. You blinked at him several times before you carefully picked your words, trying not to sound too drunk.
“Yeah, I’m great!” you yelled over the music with a smile, so loud that the people around you took notice of your state as well. Sunghoon sighed, he really wasn’t in the best state either, but he immediately sobered up a bit once Ningning asked for his help to get you home.
“Let me take you home, okay? Come on.” He reached out his hand for you and you had to focus really hard to be able to take it. Once you stood up you started swaying, noticing again just how much alcohol was in your system. Sunghoon detected your difficulty to simply stand straight as well, holding your lower arm to keep you from tipping over. He gently guided you to the door, mumbling something about how walking might be better for you to sober up.
The moment you went outside you took notice of the brisk air. It cooled down a lot and you were surprised how much it smelled like rain without actually having rained. You took a deep breath which helped you follow Sunghoon who kept a close eye on you. Whenever you were dangerously close to tripping, he would hold your arm to steady you and you quietly thanked him every time.
It was a long walk, and you didn’t exchange a word. However, it seemed to be a comfortable silence. You could feel tension between you two, but you knew that you weren’t in the right mind to discuss the depths of your relationship now. Yet, you wanted to test the water and whether there was bad blood between you two.
You decided to purposefully bump into him and when he looked at you in confusion, you just smiled playfully at him. It didn’t take him 2 seconds to reciprocate your smile and bump into you as a form of revenge. To his surprise, you still lost your balance faster than expected and almost landed face first on the ground. Sunghoon was quick to catch you and couldn’t help but chuckle.
“Oh God, sorry!” he let out a breathy laugh and you couldn’t help but laugh with him, shaking your head to signal him it’s okay.
With a more lighthearted atmosphere you continued your descent to your home. It didn’t take you long to feel the cold air biting at your skin and with goosebumps grazing your body you confessed to Sunghoon that you felt cold. Unfortunately, Sunghoon didn’t bring a jacket with him either. Because his house was closer to Yeonjun’s apartment than yours, he offered to take you in for the night. Considering the tension between you, you were caught off guard by his offer, but accepted it nevertheless.
Once you made it to his house you rushed inside quickly. Sunghoon was home alone for the week because his parents and sister went to a holiday camp Sunghoon didn’t bother to join. You instantly felt home and realized how much you missed not only being by his side but also at his house.
“Is it okay if I shower?” you said, slightly sobered up but still a bit wobbly on your legs.
“Promise me you won’t drown?” Sunghoon asked sarcastically, there was a seriousness in his glance that told you he was only half-joking. You nodded in response and rushed to the bathroom.
When you got out of the shower you felt really hot suddenly, so Sunghoon offered to sit on the balcony for a bit. You sat down right at the edge, letting your feet dangle over it. Sunghoon joined you, not sparing you a glance but rather focusing on the clear sky above you.
You didn’t speak for a while, and you questioned whether it was a comfortable silence or not. You gulped nervously before you scraped together all the courage you had left.
“I’m sorry that I stormed out of your house the other day.”
You hoped your words didn’t sound too slurred and Sunghoon would understand it as a sincere apology and when you glanced at him you noticed how he smiled slightly, still not looking at you.
“It’s okay.”
A small smile crept up on your lips as you kept your eyes on him, examining his features. You never noticed until now just how pretty his moles are, they are a perfect addition to his face. You didn’t know if it was the alcohol in your system, but you were suddenly craving to be near him.
Even though there were unspoken words between you, you decided to shuffle closer to him and lay your head on his shoulder. He jumped slightly for a second, not expecting the sudden affection, but he relaxed under you quickly, keeping his eyes on the sky. You didn’t know how much his heart was racing, but yours was uncontrollably beating out of your chest as well. You never felt this nervous around him before and you blamed it on the alcohol and the overall tension. Your heart was beating so fast because you were scared to lose him, right?
After a while, you noticed him shifting beneath you, turning his head towards you. You did the same and only noticed then just how close your faces were to each other’s. You could feel his breath on your face and figured that it would only take a few millimeters to close the distance between you two. Suddenly you were hyper aware of his every move, noticing how his eyes flickered between your own and your lips. You ended up doing the same, taking notice of the way his lips slightly parted, letting out a nervous huff.
The tension between you felt insufferable and you didn’t know where the sudden urge to kiss him came from. Sunghoon was slowly closing the distance between you two, giving you enough time to pull away. When he noticed that you weren’t going to, he finally captured his lips with yours. The kiss was slow and cautious, as if he was afraid you would still change your mind. His soft lips grazed yours and you needed more, becoming intoxicated by his scent. When your hand went up to his neck, he took that as a sign to deepen the kiss.
You don’t know how long you’ve kissed, but you only separated to gasp for air quickly before connecting your lips once again. You never felt a bliss like this before and started exploring his mouth as if you’d have to remember it because he could disappear from your grasp at any moment. Soon enough, your hands were all over each other and you figured that the balcony wasn’t comfortable, so you moved to Sunghoon’s bed to continue your makeout session.
You situated yourself on his lap and his hands wandered to your hips straight away, keeping you in place. You felt like you weren’t close enough, so you moved forwards, brushing your clothed core against his, eliciting a small gasp from him. When you noticed how a bulge was forming underneath you, you moved again, feeling Sunghoon’s hands on your hips tightening and guiding you on his crotch. The room filled with heavy breathing and before you knew it, you were dry humping him, feeling his erection grow beneath you.
Sunghoon quickly decided to attack your jaw and kiss down your neck, moving on to your shoulder while pushing the strap of your bra and top to the side to gain better access. You whimpered slightly, feeling overwhelmed by his ministrations. His hands were exploring every curve on your body and left behind a burning sensation on every part of bare skin he touched. When he reached the hem of your shirt again, he pulled away to look at you, pushing a strand of your hair out of your face.
“Do you really want to do this?” he whispered, searching for any sign of discomfort in your eyes. Your pupils were probably as blown as his, telling him all he needed to know, but he only continued once you nodded eagerly. You never expected Sunghoon to make you feel like this, and you couldn’t stop yourself no matter how hard you tried. So with your shirt gone, the rest of your clothes was soon to follow.
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The next morning, you woke up with a pounding headache, wincing slightly once you gained consciousness again. You did drink a lot, but you were still surprised how strong your hangover was. Taking notice of Sunghoon’s posters on the wall you didn’t think much, recalling how he brought you to his place because you were cold. However, when you noticed an arm around your waist, you froze. You slowly turned around to face Sunghoon, who was still dozing off next to you. Suddenly, you remembered what had happened last night. Images of you touching, exploring, feeling each other flooded your memory and your eyes almost popped out of your skull.
What did you do?! This wasn’t planned at all. You wanted to talk it out with him when the time was right and you both were sober again, not take it to the next level like this. Your breathing became uneven, and you noticed how a shiver ran down your spine.
As if on cue, Sunghoon stirred slightly, opening his eyes. When he looked at you still half-asleep, it was like he was staring at his most prized possession, and it overwhelmed you immediately.
“Good morning” he croaked out, voice still laced with sleep and a small smile playing on his lips. He closed his eyes again to stretch his body a bit, and when he finally opened his eyes fully to look at you, his expression dropped instantly. You just stared at him in shock and he felt his breath getting caught in his throat. He did not like that look at all.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, totally dreading your answer.
“What happened last night?” you asked, a question that was totally useless to ask since you already knew.
“You don’t remember?” Sunghoon questioned, noticing how his blood started running cold.
“I do, I just-“ you couldn’t find the words to express your thoughts right now. The whole situation stressed you out again, and you felt like you took advantage of Sunghoon when you both weren’t stone-cold sober.
“You didn’t enjoy it?” The moment he asked that question, you felt his touch on your skin again, the way he was holding you so carefully as if you were made out of porcelain. No matter how you twisted and turned it, you couldn’t say that you didn’t enjoy it. You did, very much in fact. But you still didn’t want it to happen, not like this.
“I- I did. It’s just… I felt like it was a mistake.” You said as you were slowly getting up, his arm that was around your side flopping down on the bed.
Hearing that sentence felt like being shot right in the chest, and Sunghoon slowly got up as well, looking at you in disbelief.
“Why would you say that?” he prompted carefully, trying to keep calm while noticing how you were collecting your jeans from the floor and squeezing yourself into them. This scene looked oddly familiar and Sunghoon started panicking.
“It shouldn’t have happened. Not like this. I’m sorry, I think I should go,” you managed to choke out, feeling like your airflow was cut off because you were so conflicted.
“Don’t do this to me. Not again.” He said, his voice becoming strict, a tone he had never used on you before.
You really didn’t want to do this to him. Not again. But something in you told you that this was a slip up, that you shouldn’t stay there, that you made a wrong decision under the influence. You didn’t know why you were so eager to get out of there, because deep down you knew this was exactly what you wanted. You craved him, now more than ever, but you manipulated yourself into thinking this wasn’t right. In your mind, you were ruining a perfectly fine friendship by hooking up with your best friend after a few shots of alcohol. You completely ignored the fact that he made the move on you again.
Ignoring his advances, you kept getting dressed, ready to leave until you were stopped by your best friend.
“Y/N, stop.” Sunghoon warned, once again using the tone you only heard him use on Yeji when she was being naughty. You gulped anxiously, turning around to face him. He stood in front of you in only his sweatpants, his milky skin glowing in the morning sun. He looked ethereal, and you hated it.
“I don’t get it. You apologized to me, craved being near me and I had the feeling you were just as into it as I was last night. And now you want to run from me again. What is going on?” he demanded an answer, and you could hear how frustrated he was. He ran a hand through his hair waiting for your response and all you could do was sigh.
“I don’t know, Sunghoon. I need time to think, okay?!” you were getting agitated because you realized you had no argument against it. Yes, you wanted this, yes you enjoyed it. And yet, you were terrified of the consequences. Of how quickly this escalated. Of how easily you managed to turn your friendship upside down.
“So I was good enough for a fuck and now you’re gonna dump me again? Is that it?” Sunghoon spat, and you were shocked at how petty he was getting. You had never witnessed him that angry before, not even with Yeji. He did rage from time to time, but never like this. And the fact that his anger was directed at you made your skin crawl.
“God, no! Don’t make conclusions like that. I just don’t want us to ruin our friendship, is it that hard to understand?!” your frustration was reflected in your raising volume, making Sunghoon flinch slightly. When you waited for Sunghoon’s reaction, you were stunned to see that he was laughing. A small chuckle escaped his lips before he clenched his jaw, looking at you with a gaze so cold it sent a shiver down your spine.
“Well, sorry to break it to you, Y/N. We already did.”
You gulped again, your shoulders that you had unconsciously raised in the heat of the argument relaxing when you smiled bitterly at him and nodded, tears blurring your vision.
“That’s too bad then.” You said in an unexpectedly calm voice before turning around and slamming the door of his room, leaving him behind just the way you did two weeks ago.
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When Yunjin rang on your doorbell, she couldn’t wait to recite her trip in every detail. Apart from the beautiful cities she visited, the boys she got to know in Italy were also something to talk about. There was so much to unpack from that trip that she announced a meeting of minimum 3 hours and told you to prepare snacks and drinks.
You were happy that Yunjin was finally back, especially after everything that happened between you and Sunghoon. There has been complete radio silence once again, since you were 100% sure he was incredibly mad at you and called your friendship quits after this. At first you were weirdly okay with the situation until it hit you a few days later that you guys had ruined your year-long friendship with some drunk sex. You were still in denial about him confessing to you and you reciprocating his feelings, instead you blamed the night you two kissed and jumped to base four right after for the end of your friendship.
The worst part for you was that you felt like you couldn’t go back. Even if you admitted that this was what you craved, even if you apologized for the ways you pushed him away even though you didn’t mean it, the way the recent events unfolded made it impossible to start a healthy relationship. Everything turned so messy so quickly that you felt like you lost control of the situation and now that you might be able to regain it, it’s too late. Sunghoon looked at you with a sense of disappointment you will never forget. It haunted you at night.
So, you were glad that Yunjin was finally back because you needed a shoulder to cry on. You missed her like crazy and you hoped she had a better summer break than you did so far to distract you from your misery. But with the way she proclaimed her return, you were sure she had a lot of funny stories to share.
What Yunjin didn’t expect when you opened your apartment door was how awful you looked. Hair disheveled, eyes glassy, the bags under your eyes looking alarmingly dark. Nevertheless, she couldn’t hide her excitement.
“Girl!” she screeched, embracing you before you could take a good look at her. The hugs she gave were always extreme, but they were especially tight when you haven’t seen each other in a while. Once she separated from you and took another look at you, she knew something was wrong.
“You look terrible, what is going on?” she questioned, fixing the strands of hair that were in the wrong place. The deep sigh you let out was more than worrying to her and you could tell she was on edge immediately.
“It’s a long story, tell me about your holiday first!” you tried to chime but the exhaustion in your voice was evident. You took the bag she brought with her out of her hand and went to the living room, settling on the sofa where she joined you.
“No, my recap can wait. What’s wrong?” she was quick to clarify. Another sigh from your side. Where to begin?
“I slept with Sunghoon.” Wow. That was the worst part to begin with. Congratulations. The way Yunjin’s mouth dropped and her eyes went wide didn’t help at all.
“WHAT???” she asked in disbelief. When she realized that you weren’t joking, she threw her arms in the air.
“Fucking finally! I told you, you two were meant to be together! How was it? Is he a good kisser? How did this even happen? Oh my God I’m so excited Y/N I need to know all the details! This is so good!!” Yunjin squealed and her excitement scared the shit out of you. How were you going to explain to her that this was nothing like she wished for?
She looked at you expectantly, but you only stared at her with an apologetic look. Her excitement died down soon and she mirrored your expression, a pout forming on her lips.
“Wait, it is not good?” It was a rhetorical question, really. If it was a good thing, you wouldn’t look this miserable and instead be glowing or something. You could tell the gears in her head were turning. Suddenly her eyes were widening again and she put her hands over her mouth in shock.
“Oh my God, are you pregnant?” This actually made you chuckle. Now she was thinking way too far.
“Don’t be ridiculous. I’m not pregnant.” You clarified, unable to hide your smile because you couldn’t believe how dramatic she was being.
“Then what is it?” she asked impatiently and you decided it might be best to start from the beginning. You recalled your last two encounters with Sunghoon, and you felt like Yunjin has never listened to you with such interest. A girl was invested.
When you finished Yunjin sighed heavily, her face dropping the more the story progressed. You had a pleading look in your eyes, begging for her advice.
“Girl, why did you make everything so complicated?” she finally asked and you were a bit appalled that she was attacking you.
“What do you mean, I did? Sunghoon started this.” You clarified, slightly offended.
“No honey, Sunghoon came clean about the feelings he’s been harboring for you for quite some time, something you’re still in denial about.” Yunjin pointed out and rightfully so. Sunghoon did what you couldn’t do: admit your feelings for him.
“But he shouldn’t have. We were totally fine and he had to make it awkward. The fact that we drunkenly slept with each other didn’t help at all.” You dropped your head in your hands. “I feel like we overstepped a line by having sex.” Yunjin was quick to shake her head.
“Y/N, you already overstepped a line when you started catching feelings for each other. I just don’t understand why you push him away like that when you like him too.” She reasoned, articulating your thoughts.
“I’m not sure if I really want this. We’ve been friends for so long, I need him by my side no matter what.” You replied, chewing on your lip nervously.
“So you’re scared that your relationship might not work out and you’ll lose him as a friend?”
“I think so. I just don’t want our friendship to be ruined over a stupid slipup. Maybe we mistake our feelings for platonic love and wouldn’t work out as a couple at all. And then we binned a totally fine friendship for no reason.” You noticed how verbalizing your worries really helped you deal with the whole situation. You debated this way too much on your own already, it was high time for another opinion.
“I get where you’re coming from. But you must view it from this perspective: You have the most important basis for a good relationship. Trust and good communication. Well, the latter until fairly recently at least. You hang out a lot and don’t get tired of each other. You can openly talk to him about everything. He’s always on your mind. There’s pretty much only the physical part missing. Which is why I need to ask if you didn’t enjoy it now that you got physically closer to him as well?”
It was like Yunjin was stating the obvious, but she helped you realize that there was not much to be afraid of. You felt safe around him and he felt safe around you and that was the most important thing. But you still were so hesitant, why?
“No, I definitely enjoyed it.” In fact, you’ve been thinking about nothing else but how soft his skin felt on yours and how pretty his lips are. And you felt like this made everything even more difficult, because there was still something keeping you from committing to him fully when there were so many indicators that you’re meant to be.
“Well then, you’re standing in your own way. I know you’re terrified that this might go wrong, but it will certainly go wrong if you don’t fix this. You both deserve to be happy. And personally, I think you’re happy if you’re together. Look what being apart from him does to you.” Yunjin pointed out, looking you up and down. You scoffed but knew she was right.
“I just don’t know how to fix it. I feel like it’s too late. He already waited too long and probably gave up on us.”
“Oh, I don’t think so. You can’t just drop someone that quickly. He’s probably struggling just as much as you.”
“You did what?!” Jake asked in shock, similar to Yunjin’s reaction.
“I confessed, and she rejected me. Twice.” Sunghoon repeated, kind of embarrassed.
“Dude, I can’t believe this. I always thought she liked you back.” Jake furrowed his brows, pondering whether he had also misinterpreted your behavior. To him, it was clear as day that you both shared a mutual romantic interest in each other but were too shy to address it. So, when Sunghoon revealed what he had done, he initially got excited.
“Yeah well, I thought so too, especially since we had sex that one night after a party and-“
“You guys had sex???”
“Jake… ugh. Yes, we did. We were both a bit drunk though.” Sunghoon reasoned but the sparkle in Jake’s eyes told him it was to no avail.
“I’m impressed, not gonna lie. You confessed and then jumped straight to base four. Did you learn from me?” Jake couldn’t help but laugh, he found that situation way too amusing for Sunghoon’s liking.
“Man, what even is base four… anyway. The point is, she said she wanted this and also admitted she enjoyed it, but she basically fled the scene the next morning and hasn’t been reaching out since. I just don’t fucking know anymore.” Sunghoon ruffled his hair in frustration and let out a deep groan. Just the thought of you leaving him behind in his room shattered his heart into a million pieces.
He just didn’t understand it. He was on cloud nine when you nodded that you wanted this too, pupils blown wide and breathing uneven. He could feel your heart pounding like crazy, similar to his own. The way you were holding him gave him all the cues he needed to claim you as his. And yet, you slipped from his embrace hours later. What could there possibly be that kept you from being with him? All the signs were there that you felt the same. Or so he thought.
“Maybe she’s scared. You’ve been friends for quite some time, I wouldn’t want to throw that away lightheartedly either just because I was horny and drunk one night.”
“But I don’t see why this wouldn’t work. We worked perfectly fine the last couple of years as friends. We literally complete each other. What more could you want?”
“It’s still commitment, Hoon. Friendships are easier to keep and end than relationships. I think Y/N wants to protect herself from possible heartbreak by keeping you in the friendzone.” Jake reasoned, and Sunghoon wondered when he became so intelligent.
“So, we’re ignoring the fact that she is breaking my heart in the process?”
“Of course not. And it’s on you how much time you give her to make a decision. Do what’s best for you. If you feel like this drains you more than you could get out of it, it’s best to cut ties. You guys overstepped the line now anyway.” Sunghoon was surprised by Jake’s reply, it felt like the wisest advice he had ever given. When he told Jake about his feelings the very first time, his friend was less helpful.
Sunghoon felt like the world was caving in on him and he finally needed to break out of his shell, finally confide in someone what has been bothering him lately. Whenever you guys planned a meeting, he was more excited than usual to see you. And when he did, he felt butterflies in his stomach whenever you laughed. When you hugged or cuddled on the couch, he noticed how he always wanted it to last longer, for him to be even closer to you. Whenever you made a stupid joke and bickered with him, he couldn’t help but laugh, enjoying every second of being with you.
He didn’t know what was happening to him. It scared him that somehow, he wanted more from you than before. More attention, more laughter, more contact. You were on his mind 24/7. He started noticing the smallest things about you. How you changed your clothing style over time. How you did your hair a little differently, playing around with various simple but pretty hairstyles. He noticed overall how good you looked.
Sunghoon paid attention to details he never cared about before. He started complimenting you more because he felt like he needed to point out that he noticed whenever you changed something about yourself or put in that extra effort to get ready. And he was the proudest when you smiled at him and thanked him for the compliment. Though, you soon stopped taking it seriously and figured it was probably just part of your bickering.
The way his feelings for you changed confused him and after a while of dealing with it himself, he finally needed another opinion. When he called Jake to ask if he could come over because he needed help, the latter was surprised, to say the least. Sunghoon rarely talked about his worries, and when he did, he talked about them with you and not Jake. So, what could it possibly be that made him choose Jake over you?
Oh yeah, well, that. Once Sunghoon laid out to Jake how he certainly noticed something shifted whenever he is with you he could only but chuckle, leaving Sunghoon with a perplexed stare.
“Nice bro, you finally noticed? You’re pretty much the last one to do so.”
“What do you mean?” Sunghoon asked, confusion written all over his face. Jake couldn’t help but giggle and shake his head at his oblivious friend.
Basically everyone had noticed how you two got a lot closer suddenly, which caused rumors to start spreading that you secretly started dating. Jake and Jay even had a bet going who asked the other out first and he couldn’t wait for Sunghoon to confess that he was in fact dating you.
Everyone had noticed. Everyone but you two.
“You got to be kidding me. You so obviously like her, it wasn’t necessarily hard to spot.” Jake pointed out, which made Sunghoon’s eyes grow big. He gulped nervously, unconsciously playing with the hem of his shirt.
“Do you think she knows too?” Sunghoon asked, his brows knit together. What if you knew and chose to ignore it? Talking to Jake made Sunghoon realize that the shift in his behavior around you correlated with a shift in his feelings for you. He liked you. And he knew he was screwed before Jake could answer.
“Nah dude. She probably is just as oblivious as you.” Jake clicked his tongue nonchalantly. That somehow made Sunghoon release a breath of relief.
“What do you reckon I should do?” Sunghoon questioned. He couldn’t believe he was asking Jake, a retired but previously notorious player, for dating advice. Only Chaewon was able to get him interested in the actual dating life, but he proved miserable at that. Chaewon could handle it, fortunately, but Jake wasn’t the best person to talk about feelings. He didn’t do those until fairly recently.
“I don’t know, just wait and see what happens.” Yeah, Jake was really useless in that field.
“You’re not helping.” Sunghoon rolled his eyes in annoyance, making Jake raise his hands in defense.
“Bro, what do you want me to say? Confess and run into a disaster because chances are she doesn’t like you back? I personally think it’s mutual by the way she behaves, but who am I to judge.” He reasoned and Sunghoon nodded understandingly.
He had no choice but to observe your behavior from now on to find any clue whether you like him too. Jake was absolute garbage at giving advice, but Sunghoon decided to cut him some slack this time since it actually seemed the right thing to do. Damn, what has Chaewon done to him?
Sunghoon answered the same back then as he did now.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
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16 new messages in squaaaaad
Chaewonie ❤️: Guys, we haven’t had a cinema night in ages and they switched up the screening offer at our trusted cinema! How about dinner together with a cinema night as a squad now that we’ve all returned?
Hee Hee (seung): only if you promise not to make out with Jake three minutes into the movie
Ikeu: rude???
Ikeu: anyway, I’m in!
Meme Queen 😎: of course you are.
Ikeu: what’s with the disrespect today
Jjongsaeng: count me in too! dinner at our usual ahjumma? <3
Chaewonie ❤️: Obviously, I’ve been craving her Jjamppong the last few days!
DDEONU: I’m in too! so dinner’s on chaewon then?
Chaewonie ❤️: Dream about it Sunoo
Zuhaaa: count me in too
DDEONU: just checked the screenings, let’s go watch the new barbie movie!!
Hee Hee (seung): I changed my mind I won’t go
DDEONU: 😒
Meme Queen 😎: I’m in too by the way and I’m not a whiny little bitch like Heeseung so Barbie is fine
Hee Hee (seung) left the group chat
Meme Queen 😎: exactly what I’m talking ‘bout
You couldn’t help but chuckle at your stupid friends. Yunjin, who had her head in your lap, was similarly laughing at the text messages, especially when she added Heeseung back to the group chat and he started whining even more.
“Aren’t you going to write anything?” Yunjin prompted without looking at you.
“I don’t know if I’m going.” You admitted shyly, biting your lip. That made Yunjin turn her head to look at you with a raised eyebrow.
“Girl, don’t even think about cancelling.” She warned. You exhaled, throwing your phone away and running both hands over your face.
“Look, I just don’t want to make it awkward if Sunghoon is there.” You tried to explain, but Yunjin wasn’t buying it at all.
“Nah babe, we’re not doing that. Don’t destroy our friendship group because of something like that. Plus, it could be an opportunity to talk things out with Sunghoon.”
“If he joins.” You said absentmindedly. Yunjin clicked her tongue.
“And if he doesn’t then that’s on him and we’re going to have fun without him. But don’t ruin fun for yourself because he might be there. I know you want to go.” Ugh, you hated that Yunjin was (almost) always right.
“Fine.” You groaned.
Meme Queen 😎: I’m dragging Y/N along too
You cringed at the way Yunjin put it, but she wasn’t completely wrong. You weren’t too excited to go, because you had a bad feeling this could turn ugly if Sunghoon was to show up as well. Yes, it was a squad meeting, but you still had no idea how to act around him, let alone how he would act around you. Additionally, not everyone knew what went down. Yunjin had briefly updated Heeseung without too many details and you guessed Sunghoon might have told Jake, but other than that, no one was aware of the recent events. How awkward would that get?
Quite awkward. Sunghoon had announced that he would be coming as well, and since Yunjin already told everyone that you would be there too you had no way to back out of it. You persisted that you would show up together with Heeseung, too afraid that you might be the first to arrive and Sunghoon being second or the other way around.
To your surprise, Sunghoon was one of the last to arrive, very unlike him since he was always over-punctual. When you exchanged glances, a shiver ran down your spine. You tried to decipher his look but couldn’t, it held an emotion you had never seen before. You couldn’t hold his gaze either, quickly looking at Jake to greet him.
When Kazuha arrived at last, you went inside the restaurant to finally grab a bite. You only noticed then that you were starving, instantly plopping down on the first spot you saw. Yunjin sat down to your left and Jay aimed at joining you on your right, only to retreat while mumbling something about how Sunghoon is going to sit there anyway. It wasn’t intentional, Sunghoon and you always claimed to sit next to each other and sent grim looks to everyone who tried to get in your way. But this time was different.
Sunghoon and you exchanged shaky glances, still that undecipherable look in his eyes and with a small gulp, he situates himself on the other side of the table instead of next to you. This move earned confused glances from half the group, and you simply nodded with a sad expression coating your face. So that’s what we’re doing now, you thought. Great.
Thankfully, no one commented Sunghoon’s odd move and everyone sat down instead, Jay reclaiming the spot next to you. You could feel the tension at the table, something was in the air and everyone noticed. But no one dared to speak up. Those who knew just exchanged worried glances and those who didn’t simply looked confused. There was an unusual silence at the table before Chaewon finally managed to break the silence by asking what everyone wants to eat.
You released a breath you didn’t know you were holding and the whole situation drained you from the get-go. How were you going to survive the rest of the evening after such a bumpy start? You tried not to stare at Sunghoon too much and whenever you caught a glimpse of him looking at you, you panicked and looked away instantly. Sunghoon wasn’t any better, acting quite absentminded until Jake bumped him under the table. With a demanding glance Sunghoon knew immediately what he was trying to tell him. Jake, similar to Yunjin, made it clear that no fun was cut from the evening just because of your miserable situation. Sunghoon tried his best to join the conversation, but everyone could tell that something was weird.
After a rather awkward meal you made your way to the cinema, Yunjin linking arms with you as you tried to calm your nerves. This wasn’t going to be easy. The fact that everyone noticed the tension between you and Sunghoon made you incredibly nervous and you figured that you had to talk about it sooner or later tonight.
When you reached the cinema and the mood was still off, your body acted faster than your mind. Without hesitation, you grabbed Sunghoon’s arm, who looked at you quite alarmed. With a gaze that conveyed “Can we talk?” Sunghoon quickly nodded and followed you behind the cinema. Yunjin and Jake quickly exchanged knowing yet uneasy glances when they saw you disappear behind the building.
Once you reached the backside of the cinema, you stopped in your tracks. Not noticing how you still held onto Sunghoon’s arm, only his verbal reminder brought you back to reality.
“You can let go now.” It scared you how cold he sounded. You didn’t know if it was the unusually chilly night or if his voice really lacked the warmth you were so used to. You realized that you had to face him sooner or later, back still turned to him. You knew that turning around and looking at him will most likely break you and you were right.
When you made eye contact, you kept seeing a look in his eyes that you couldn’t decode. You usually could guess his opinion on things or his overall mood by how he looked at you or others, but this was different. This was a look he had never worn before, and it scared you.
And you made another dreadful realization. Shit. You hadn’t prepared this conversation at all. You had brought him here and were now at a loss of words. He looked at you expectantly, obviously waiting for you to talk first since you were the one who dragged him there in the first place. Your brain was short-circuiting, so you blurted the first thing to pop up in your mind.
“Hi.” Mentally facepalming yourself, you closed your eyes and shook your head. Sunghoon didn’t react to that at all either, waiting for you to actually articulate what you want to tell him.
“Look, we need to talk.” Is all you could choke out in nervousness, your voice betraying you by breaking in the middle of the sentence.
“We do?” Sunghoon’s question caught you off-guard and you looked at him generally confused.
“Yes, don’t you think so?” you prompted in disbelief. Sunghoon shrugged.
“Oh I did, but you don’t strike me as the person who wants to talk about this anymore after last time.” He admitted and you cringed at his words. You realized at that moment that you did know that tone of his. He used that exact tone when breaking up with Eunchae, a conversation you overheard as he wanted you nearby when it happened. It’s the voice he uses when he’s built a barrier to protect himself.
He's built a barrier. The fact that he felt like he needs to protect himself from you emotionally ripped your heart out, but then again you couldn’t blame him. Everything you did made this a justifiable response. And you were to make it worse.
“Sunghoon.” You called out to him weakly and his gaze softened for a split second upon hearing you call his name in such desperation. “I didn’t want this to happen. Not like this, believe me,” you said while taking a step towards him.
He didn’t back off, and you took that as a sign to continue.
“I never wanted to lose you as a friend, the thought of it makes me sick, and I panicked when you suddenly confessed. I didn’t know how to act so I chose to run away.” You tried to explain your point of view and he patiently waited for you to continue, as if he waited for a specific sentence.
Tell him it was a mistake to run from him. Tell him you like him too. Tell him you want this too. For some reason, you just couldn’t articulate those feelings. For some sick, twisted reason, you still weren’t sure if this is what you really felt. You still didn’t come clear about your emotions, about whether your feelings for him are platonically or romantically coded. You felt like you still needed to find out.
With one more step forward, you closed the gap between Sunghoon and yourself. Without thinking this through you took his face into your hands, connecting your lips in a swift motion. Sunghoon seemed slightly taken aback by your action but responded to the kiss nevertheless, his arms immediately wandering to your waist. However, he was quick to break the kiss, tightening his grip on your waist to put some distance between you.
“What are you doing?” he questioned in a serious, slightly disappointed tone, his brows furrowed. You looked at him with big eyes.
“I’m trying to make things right.” You said weakly, feeling extremely small under his strong gaze.
“No, you’re testing the waters.” He said and gave your hips a small push to create more distance between you. Your arms fell to your side lifelessly, tears threatening to escape.
“No.” you tried to defend but Sunghoon was able to shut you down quickly.
“Yes, Y/N. I can tell you’re still not sure about this. So stop bullshitting me.” He said it calmly but it felt like he spat those words in your face.
“I don’t-“ you tried again but he interrupted straight away.
“Listen to me. If you can’t come clean about how you feel for me then that’s on you. But stop playing with my feelings in the process. For the sake of our year-long friendship, I think we should have at least that much respect for each other.”
You were absolutely speechless. The way he delivered those words to you, you felt like he wasn’t feeling any emotion at all. It scared you that Sunghoon, who was usually very vocal and expressive, could articulate something so dryly. Only then did you realized just how much you have fucked up.
You have hurt Sunghoon so much with your indecisiveness that he completely shut you out. Backed off emotionally from you. For him to say those things so easily, it made your heart ache. You opened your mouth to speak, to protest, but there was nothing to protest about.
He was right, you played with his heart. He was nothing but honest with you and you rejected him not once, but twice. And now you thought a weak excuse and a kiss could fix it? Oh, how naïve you were.
Sunghoon saw you open your mouth to speak but he quickly shook his head.
“This conversation is over.” He announced, turning on his heels and walking away to the rest of your friends. This time, he left you behind and you started to understand how shitty it must have felt when you did it to him.
You stood there motionlessly, unable to move while trying to process what just happened. You were sure you deserved it for how you acted previously but you still didn’t know how to handle this situation. You tried your best to keep your tears in and collect yourself so you can get back to the group, but tears kept rolling down your cheeks and you sobbed quietly, hoping not to catch the attention of your friends.
In the meantime, Sunghoon made it back to the group alone, earning confused glances from the rest of your friends.
“Where’s Y/N?” Sunoo asked, brows furrowed because something was definitely off but he didn’t want to insist.
“Oh, she’s coming soon. Don’t worry.” Sunghoon said nonchalantly, but Yunjin and Heeseung exchanged concerned glances. Yunjin debated checking on you, sensing that whatever went down behind the cinema didn’t end well. She examined Sunghoon’s look, and he gazed back at her, as if challenging her. What is wrong with him? He never acted like this before.
Deep down, Sunghoon was sweating. He tried his best to act normal, to not let it get to him how absolutely gutted he left you there. But he couldn’t help himself. All the pain he experienced the last couple of days made him become petty. With Jake telling him to be careful not to hurt himself too much while waiting for you he decided it might be best to push his feelings to the back of his head.
The full ordeal was swallowing him whole. He wanted nothing but to hold you, talk to you, be with you, hear your beautiful voice through the phone, see your little frown whenever you complained about something. He missed you like crazy but he didn’t push any further after being rejected twice already.
On the one hand, Sunghoon believed he did everything right. He couldn’t go on pretending you were just friends when he has been falling for you harder the more time passed. Being honest to himself and to you was what you had unofficially promised each other and he wanted to keep that promise no matter what.
On the other hand, Sunghoon believed he did everything wrong. He caused this trouble by being selfish and pushing you towards a relationship you might not even want. You worked out fine, and one should never change a running system, right?
Wrong. He knew your friendship was doomed the first time he caught his heart skipping a beat upon seeing you, the first time he imagined what your lips would feel like on his own, the first time he hugged you for a second longer than usual because he didn’t want to let go just yet. But he hoped it wouldn’t end the way it did just now. He was pretty certain that this was it.
Even if you decided you felt the same, you probably wouldn’t come back to him after he delivered such a terrible line in the coldest tone he had ever used on anybody. He was scared of himself that he managed to treat you like this. That the harshest words he had ever spoken were directed to you
A few minutes later, you mustered up the courage to join the rest, having successfully dried your tears and calmed down enough for others to see you. When you turned the corner, you heard Sunoo scream for you in excitement, making Yunjin’s head snap towards you.
“Y/N! There you are, finally. Come on guys, let’s go or we’ll miss the first few minutes!”
You were quick to shoot him a smile, trying your best to hide the fact you just finished crying and had to control yourself not to burst out in tears again. Yunjin was immediately able to uncover your mask and shot Sunghoon another look, trying to piece together what might have happened back there.
“Are you okay?” she asked quietly enough for only you to hear, and you were fast to brush her off by nodding, but she didn’t buy it. You shot her a look that she shouldn’t persist and she got the memo, following you inside without prompting another question.
When Sunoo finished buying all the tickets and wanted to hand them out in seat order, he hesitated for a moment, not knowing whether he should put Sunghoon and you next to each other after he already refused to sit next to you during dinner. Noticing the stiff air between you (which really wasn’t hard to do), he decided against it and instead sat you next to Kazuha and Heeseung.
By now, no one in your friend group was unaware of the fact that Sunghoon and you were fighting, but no one dared to ask and interfere. Nevertheless, every time someone looked at you, they shot you apologetic glances and you swore you needed to get out of there. You really weren’t in the mood to watch a movie now, especially not a bubbly one like Barbie.
When you plopped down in your seat, you didn’t even bother shooting Sunghoon a glance as he passed you to sit further down the row. Heeseung sat next to you, whispering something about that you can leave if you feel uncomfortable, but you just ignored him. At the moment, your mind was blank and you just wanted the evening to end. You prayed to the gods that the movie will make you forget at least for a short while how heartbroken you are.
It seemed to work for the first half, however as the movie progressed you noticed how you replayed the conversation between Sunghoon and you in your mind endlessly. You couldn’t help but let one tear after another roll down your cheek, trying your best not to gain attention by sobbing. You sniffed as silently as you could but Heeseung noticed nevertheless.
And so did Sunghoon. When he looked over to you and saw you crying, he felt a sting in his heart. He really tried not to cry alongside with you, but the view he had of you not being able to control your tears ruined him. He tried hard to focus on the movie, noticing how Jake was studying his behavior next to him. Sunghoon chose to ignore it for his own sake. Just like you, he wanted to go home as quickly as possible.
Once the credits started rolling, you practically jolted from your seat to get out of the situation you were in. Of course the rest of your friend group took an eternity to get up, collect their stuff and leave the cinema. As soon as the warm summer air hit your nose, you turned around to everyone, announcing that you didn’t feel well and will leave early. Without bothering to wait for a response you turned on your heels, practically running away from the group, leaving a worried Yunjin and Heeseung behind.
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“Are you sure we shouldn’t just postpone the road trip until you figure things out?” Yunjin asked warily, wanting to make sure you really meant what you just told her.
“No way. Y’all waited so long for this! It’s our ritual as well. Please go, I just won’t join.” You clarified. You figured that after the cinema disaster, Sunghoon and you shouldn’t be in the same room for a while, not only for your own sakes, but also because it made the whole atmosphere awkward.
It was never your intention to affect your whole friend group with your problems, but here you were. You decided it was best for everyone if you were left out. You couldn’t see it since you were on the phone, but Yunjin shook her head firmly.
“And it’s also a ritual that we all go together. All of us. You included.”
“I get it, but I just don’t know how to act around Sunghoon and how he’ll act around me. I don’t want to ruin the trip for everyone.”
“Trust me, you will ruin it if you don’t come. Remember when Heeseung and Kazuha had a quick fling? The friend group didn’t break because of that either. Just act normal around him and you’ll be fine. You’re adults after all. I know you were so excited for the road trip, please don’t let that ruin the fun.” Yunjin tried to argue.
She felt slightly bad because it sounded like she was forcing you, but she knew that the squad road trip was your favorite part of the summer break. She was certain that this might be therapeutic for both you and Sunghoon. No way in hell would she let it happen that one of you left the friend group. She saw it as an opportunity to at least act civil around each other when in group settings.
“I know, I’m just scared to face him. What if I break out crying?” you played the worst scenarios in your head on how everyone would be annoyed by your whiny heartbroken ass.
“Then everyone will understand. The situation isn’t easy. And it’s okay to cry.” Yunjin reasoned. After the cinema night, everyone asked each other what happened between Sunghoon and you and the story spread like wildfire. When the first pitiful message from Chaewon arrived, you knew you were done for. You felt terrible for worrying everyone and you were afraid people were going to pick sides. To your relief, no one mentioned anything and left it to you two to solve the issue.
Yunjin noticed your hesitation and she could practically hear the way you wear nervously chewing your lip, so she sighed.
“Alright, listen. If you really don’t want to go, then don’t. We’ll understand. But I personally think it wouldn’t change anything if you stayed away. Unless you want to drown in your sorrows and don’t want me there to catch your tears. If you regret your decision it’s not my fault, just saying!”
You chuckled at her words. She was right, if you stayed home you would probably miss all of them and regret missing out on the fun. You promised yourself that you would try your best to act as normally as possible around Sunghoon. Still, the fact that you had to see him again scared you shitless.
Reflecting over the past few days made you come to the conclusion that you were incredibly stupid to deny him like that. You were angry at yourself that you couldn’t just admit that you liked him as much as he liked you. And even when you had another chance at making things right, you were still insecure whether it would be the right decision.
And now that you’re clear about your intentions, it was too late. Sunghoon ended the last conversation and you felt like it was final. There was no fixing now and no going back. So, you had to live with the fact that you ruined a potential relationship with your best friend who you had caught feelings for months ago. And no matter how you put it, it was a hard pill to swallow.
Little did you know that Sunghoon also regretted his decision. He came to realize that he might have been too harsh to you, that he reacted out of emotion and not reason. Sunghoon had never felt this strongly for anyone and it scared him, so he naturally thought he had to protect himself from potential heartbreak just like you tried prior. Guess you two were more similar than expected.
The more he thought about it, the more he understood where you were coming from. It was incredibly unfair how you treated him, but he started relating to it as he was going through a similar process now. Both of you made mistakes and both of you could have done better. What mattered now is how to fix it. And to say Sunghoon was terrified about his next steps was an understatement.
A couple of days later, you were all set and ready to go on the long-awaited road trip. You went over some requests with Yunjin, for example that you’d rather drive in a different car than Sunghoon so you won’t be stuck with him in a close space for hours. If you were in different cars, it would most likely be more comfortable for everyone involved, and Yunjin agreed.
You managed to squeeze yourself in the same car as Jay, who was driving, Heeseung, Kazuha and Chaewon. You were glad that you managed to get in Jay’s car because you believed him to be a better driver than Jake. Plus, Heeseung’s road trip playlist almost hit different, so you were in for a fun (and loud) ride.
Four hours passed by in a flash and you only realized that you arrived when Jay turned into the parking lot. Fortunately, the atmosphere in the car was lighthearted and you thanked yourself for making the decision to put yourself and Sunghoon in separate cars.
You also told Yunjin that you weren’t going to sleep in the same cabin as well, since that’s awkward. She respected that, assigning the cabins by gender anyway which earned groans from Chaewon and Jake who wanted to share one.
“You’re kidding right? The cabin is meant for 3 to 4 people, ain’t no way you’re going to do any nasty shit in there.” Yunjin scolded, earning a chuckle from the rest of the group.
“We were just going to cuddle, calm down.” Chaewon defended with a glare and Yunjin scoffed.
“Yeah sure, like last year?” Yunjin laughed and both Chaewon and Jake turned red, exchanging guilty looks. You couldn’t help but snort, catching everyone’s attention including Sunghoon’s. It was the first time you exchanged glances that day and you instantly felt goosebumps rise up your skin.
Was he always that handsome? You had a feeling Sunghoon looked even better than usual, or you were imagining things because you had been idolizing him the past couple of days. The more you contemplated your friendship, the more you realized how perfect he was. Seeing him now just confirmed your theories. You had been absolutely blind the last couple of months.
You gulped and quickly looked away, unable to catch the small smile that was playing on Sunghoon’s lips. He loved seeing you have fun and hearing you chuckle made his heart swell. Sunghoon realized he’s been so stupidly in love with you that there was no way he wasn’t trying to fix whatever you had ruined. He just didn’t know how he was to do that.
Once you dropped your stuff inside the cabin, half of your group went straight to the beach. Yunjin caught up with you and bumped your shoulder playfully, making you laugh. Even though you still felt down because of the whole situation with your best friend, you were really excited and relieved that you decided to go on the road trip. The beach and the scent of salt water instantly gave you serotonin and the karaoke session you had in the car raised your mood as well.
“How was the car ride? Ours was pretty boring, everyone slept half of the time and I don’t think Sunghoon has said a single thing the entire ride.” Yunjin recited and hearing his name made your heart skip a beat. As if on cue, Sunghoon was running past you to catch up with Jake, sparing you a quick glance. You didn’t know how to react, so you simply turned to Yunjin furrowing your brows in question.
Sunghoon always claimed himself to be an introvert, but you knew that especially in your friend group, he was glowing and more talkative than ever. The fact that he was quiet, even today, worried you. Yunjin could tell by the way you bit your lip that you were contemplating something.
“Will you try and talk to him?”
“I don’t know yet.”
Your attention quickly shifted towards Heeseung who was picking up Chaewon like it was nothing, running with her to the sea and throwing her into the water despite her obvious protests. She screeched in panic and when she got out of the water, she scowled at him.
“Oh, you wanna get fucked up.” She announced, fixing him with a challenging look and you could see Heeseung’s eyes turning wide before she lounges herself at him. He was quick to dodge her attack, running away as fast as he can despite the water inevitably slowing him down. When he locked eyes with you, it was like he locked in a new target.
The glint in Heeseung’s eyes scared you and the moment he approached you, you felt your heart sink into your stomach. Before you could object he was next to you, grabbing you by the hip and throwing you over his shoulder.
“You’re next.” He giggled and ignored the way you slapped his back and screamed for him to let you go. Unable to prepare yourself in time, you were suddenly being met with the cold ocean water engulfing your body. When you broke through the surface, you couldn’t help but burst out in laughter, a sound Sunghoon missed so dearly that when he took notice, his heart fluttered.
Even more laughter erupted from you when Chaewon kept her promise and surprised Heeseung from behind, pushing him underwater as well. The antics continued until you rescued yourself to the shore, Yunjin promptly throwing a towel your way. Jake was quick to catch Sunghoon’s longing gaze for you but decided not to blurt a stupid comment, instead smiling at the pining of his friend.
Once you settled down on the beach you stripped out of the shirt that you initially planned to keep dry, but Heeseung destroyed those plans. While wringing out the access water from the shirt, you observed how Sunghoon and Jake stripped out of their shirts as well, ready to join your other friends in the water. Upon seeing Sunghoon’s toned abdomen, you were instantly reminded of the night you shared together. It made your stomach twist knowing you could have had all this to yourself and let it slip from your grasp.
“Okay, now you’re just blatantly staring.” Yunjin commented with a click of her tongue and a chuckle, following your gaze. You were glad that the temperatures made your face blush already so Yunjin couldn’t detect the heat climbing up your cheeks.
When Jake noticed your fixated gaze on Sunghoon, he quickly whispered something to the latter, making him turn around in an instant to lock eyes with you. Your eyes widened immediately and you tried to be nonchalant about it, looking away quickly. Both guys smirked at that, making Jake lean into Sunghoon once more.
“What is that? You guys are acting like two teenagers going through puberty who are obviously crushing on each other but too shy to strike up conversation.” He pointed out and Sunghoon let out a deep, long sigh. If only it was that easy, he thought.
After you tired yourselves out in the water, you decided for a cliché bonfire to end the night. Sunghoon plopped himself down at the other end of the bonfire opposite from you, the flames almost swallowing your view on him. You didn’t know if he did that on purpose, but you couldn’t help and steal glances from each other whenever you were roasting marshmallows. This didn’t go unnoticed by anyone and Sunoo ended up judging you hard for constantly shooting heart eyes at each other from afar.
You actually hadn’t talked all day, it was silent pining from both sides and it made your friends go absolutely crazy. Could you finally get it over with?
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Unfortunately, the pining continued the next couple of days, neither of you ready to approach the other. It was frustrating you, to say the least. You figured that it was his turn to come to you after he ended the conversation the last time. Additionally, you didn’t want to embarrass yourself again like you did at the cinema.
You couldn’t pinpoint the atmosphere between you two, it seemed somewhat stiff yet not as terrible as it was during the cinema night. Anyone could tell that you both reflected on your behaviors and had a different mindset from before, so it was just as frustrating for your friends to notice your constant pining. Sunoo judged even harder than usual.
Yunjin tried to talk some sense into you, but you swiftly refused to make the first step. She ruffled her hair in frustration while washing her face to get ready for bed.
“Y/N please. Put your pride aside for once, this isn’t going anywhere.” She nagged in a way that reminded you of a typical Korean ahjumma.
“Y/N I have to agree with Yunjin for once. This is absolutely nerve-wrecking for all sides.” Chaewon added, turning around in her chair and interrupting her skincare routine.
You groaned. Couldn’t they let you deal with that alone? The situation was hard enough as is, it didn’t help that eight people kept track of your every move on top of it.
In the cabin next to yours, the boys were similarly pushy towards Sunghoon, earning annoyed glances from him. Like you, it annoyed him how everyone was observing and waiting for one of you to make a move. He wanted to figure this out with you alone, not while a whole group of people was watching.
That night, the constant nagging from your friends made you spiral into overthinking everything again. You dissected your conversations with Sunghoon once more, not able to get a wink of sleep or even feel tired. The whole ordeal stressed you out to the point where you needed to let go a bit. Not wanting to bother your cabinmates, you snuck outside, making your way to the pier to sit down and watch the moon a bit. The warm breeze that tickled your nose made you inhale deeply.
Such a beautiful vacation that is troubled by Sunghoon and my relationship, you thought. You really made it difficult for yourselves. This could have been so easy and yet you chose to do it the hard way. You still wondered why your head blocked you from telling Sunghoon what your heart wanted all this time. Why it took you so long to let those feelings take over. Why it was met with so much denial from your end in the first place.
You were now more sure than ever that you wanted to have Sunghoon by your side. The thought of having to continue life without him scared you to bits and you hoped you would never have to experience the reality of it, even though there was still a possibility he wouldn’t let you in anymore.
The more you thought about it, the more overwhelmed you became. A single tear ran down your cheek, quickly followed by another until you were silently sobbing into nothingness, the vision of the moon in front of you becoming blurry.
The sound of footsteps approaching snapped you out of your daze and you quickly wiped your tears, thinking it was one of the lifeguards scolding you for being on the pier so late. You were about to utter a half-assed apology when you turned around only to be met with Sunghoon standing a few feet away from you on the pier.
Sunghoon couldn’t doze off either, staring at the ceiling when he picked up a shuffling sound outside. He silently got up, making sure not to wake the others, and went over to the window only to see you emerge on a journey to the pier. He didn’t know what came over him, but his feet moved on their own and before he knew it, he was at the pier too.
It felt like everything froze for a moment when you locked eyes, a concern shading his gaze that made you shiver. You didn’t know what to say, your heartbeat picking up from his mere presence. You never noticed the effect he had on you until this trip.
“I’ve never liked to see you cry.” He said softly, almost as if he was pitying you, but you knew how he meant it. You sniffed in response, turning around since you suddenly felt hyperaware about how ugly you must have looked right at that moment.
The wood creaked underneath Sunghoon when he approached you, slow and cautious as if he was afraid you would freak out otherwise. When he stood right behind you, he contemplated his next move, biting his lip nervously. Just like you, he hadn’t thought this through. Suddenly standing in front of you overwhelmed him, and he needed a moment to calculate his next move.
“May I?” he suddenly asked, pointing at the spot next to you. You didn’t dare look at him now that he was so close, so you simply nodded. From the corner of your eye you could make out how he was sitting down. Scared to make eye contact you focused intently on the clouds forming above you.
Silence engulfed you and the only sound you could make out is that of the waves crashing at the poles of the pier. You didn’t know how to strike conversation and he seemed similarly in thought of how to carry on. Suddenly you wondered if he wasn’t saying much because he was still mad at you, and the thought alone made you anxious. You sighed heavily, being overly curious all of a sudden.
“Will you ever not be mad at me anymore?” you spoke up carefully, afraid that this question alone will make him snap. He turned out to be very calm, though. You didn’t know if that soothed your nerves or freaked you out even more. Sunghoon had the faintest of smiles playing on his lips.
“I’m not mad at you. I was disappointed and confused because I couldn’t figure you out.” He explained, making you scoff.
“I couldn’t even figure myself out, how were you supposed to?” you turned to him with curved eyebrows, and it was the first time on the trip that you saw him this close. The look in his eyes held something you couldn’t quite pin down again, but this time, it was much softer. It calmed you down, sending an exciting shiver down your spine.
His smile grew upon your rhetorical question and you swore he never looked better. You loved seeing him smile, seeing those dimples forming. You couldn’t help but mirror his expression, silently exchanging words you didn’t dare to speak out loud. You noticed how this situation calmed you down and made you incredibly nervous at the same time. You didn’t know where this was going.
Your smile dropped suddenly, and so did Sunghoon’s. He furrowed his brows softly, and you wished to flatten the crease forming between his eyebrows. Anxiety glossed over your eyes and you decided to be honest with him.
“I’m scared, Sunghoon.” He nodded understandingly and it looked like relief washed over him. For a moment he got terrified, thinking that you might turn him down once more. It wouldn’t make sense, but nothing made sense to him anymore anyway.
“I’m scared too.” He admitted, looking down at this hands that he was fidgeting agitatedly. You couldn’t describe it, but he looked tense and relaxed at the same time. Tensed because he was fearing ultimate rejection, relaxed because no matter what, your presence eased his mind.
Your mind suddenly threw you back to everything you two had been through. Several tragic exam seasons, friends of yours moving away, petty fights in the group chat over something completely stupid and reconciliations joined by tears and hugs, heartbreaks on both ends and comfort when each other’s grandparents died. You had survived so many tragedies together, so there was logically speaking no way you could not overcome this one.
Realization hit you that it was now or never. You had to tell him how you feel, honestly this time. No hiding, no beating around the bush. You forced yourself to say the words you were scared of for so long.
“I like you.”
It took Sunghoon’s head only a millisecond to snap towards you, as if he had to make sure what he heard was really what you had said. You locked eyes again and the way his gaze changed almost made your heart jump through your chest. He looked like he had finally heard the words he wanted to hear from you for such a long time. The only thing he ever wanted to hear from you.
Sunghoon was malfunctioning because now that you had finally confessed to him, he didn’t know what to do. As stupid as it sounds, because he had more than enough time, he didn’t prepare for this scenario. Not even in his daydreams did he play this scene out in his head. He had always skipped the awkward confession and jumped right into the domestic relationship stuff.
Sunghoon gulped and took a deep breath to calm his nerves. There was only one right answer, and he knew it.
“I like you too.”  
The sparkle in your eyes didn’t go unnoticed by Sunghoon when he uttered those words again, the words that had left a bitter taste in your mouth when he rushed them out for the first time. But now all your stomach could do is hurt from all the butterflies, the look in your eyes finally reciprocating those of the boy in front of you.
You sit there for a moment, basking in each other’s presence and slowly coming to terms with the fact that you were on the same page about this after all. You were scared that Sunghoon will never want to speak to you again, and right now you couldn’t be happier that he decided to approach you one more time, giving you the chance to rebuild your relationship on a different level.
After a while of staring at each other and taking in each other’s confession, you couldn’t help but burst out into laughter together. This whole ordeal was so stupidly romantic despite the bumpy start and you had a hard time trying to contain your amusement.
“We should have done this the first time already.” You admitted, shaking your head at the painful memory of Sunghoon scaring you away with his revelation. Sunghoon couldn’t help but raise his brows at you in disbelief.
“Yeah? Well, whose fault was that?” he challenged and guilt glossed over your face, your lips forming a pout. The boyish grin he was wearing only grew wider.
“Stop blaming me, I know I fucked up.” You acknowledged, dropping your head in shame. Sunghoon was quick to shoot a hand under your chin, making you look up at him again.
“We both did. It’s fine.” He reassured with a smile, and you could only do so much as copy it. Silence took over once again, his hand slowly dropping from under your chin, landing on your own. You noticed that Sunghoon was pondering over something, and the mischievous smirk that was forming didn’t help.
You threw your head back in agony. He was getting playful again and you hated loved it.
“Oh boy, what is it now?” you were careful to ask, not sure if you really wanted to know what was on his mind right now. Sunghoon cleared his throat.
“You know, I just think it’s funny that you told me to get laid and then turned out to be the person to do it shortly after.”
Yep, you didn’t want to know what was on his mind. He chuckled and your face ran pale upon hearing him. You groaned in frustration, hiding your face in your hands in embarrassment. Your shy reaction made Sunghoon laugh even harder, throwing his head back in his usual manner and he couldn’t help but tease you a bit since he hadn’t done it in a while. Seeing your agitated look was enough to satisfy him.
You were so immersed that you didn’t notice the wind picking up speed and the clouds thickening. Only when an especially strong breeze almost swept you from the pier did you realize that a storm was coming.
“I think we should go.” Sunghoon nodded in agreement and the moment you got up, you felt the first drop of rain hit your face.
It wasn’t the last one for sure and before you knew it, it was pouring. You quickly came to the conclusion that running to the cabins would be too far, so you opted for the little lifeguard hut near the beach instead. The cold rain hitting you made your legs carry you to the hut even faster, unconsciously intertwining Sunghoon’s hand with yours.
You yelped a little when he pushed you forward, motioning you to hurry up since the rain was hitting you at high speed now. Whatever you expected from tonight, it was not going to bed soaking wet. But it also wasn’t Sunghoon and you to reconcile. You win some, you lose some.
After what felt like an eternity, you finally reached the small veranda in front of the hut. Thankful that the porch had a canopy, you breathed heavily and relaxed against the walls of the house. You glanced at Sunghoon and noticed that he was completely drenched from head to toe. Much to your dismay, you realized that you were just as soaked. But the moment you caught each other’s eyes, you couldn’t help but giggle again.
The hopeless romantic in you couldn’t be happier right now. You watched as the rain only poured harder, so you had no choice but to stay under the canopy for a while.
You noticed Sunghoon was struggling with his hair, one strand always falling into his eyes no matter how many times he tried to push it back. You couldn’t help yourself, your hand shooting up towards his face to fix it.
“Here, let me.” You said, fully turning to him while he did the same. Instead of fixing it, you ruffled his hair even more, causing several strands to drop in front of his eyes. Despite the hair covering his eyes, you could feel the unimpressed look he probably gave you. You snickered and proceeded to actually fix his hair this time.
Once you finished tugging his hair back, you noticed how much he was staring at you. You slowly retracted your hand from his hair, trying to decipher his look. Nothing but love, you concluded, and it was confirmed once he opened his mouth to speak.
“I really want to kiss you right now.”
Your heart hammered in your chest at his words. The longing in his eyes almost made you faint and without a second thought, you pushed yourself forward to connect your lips. It took you only a second to melt into him, lips moving like they had always belonged together. Sunghoon’s hands were quick to find your waist again while yours wandered around his neck.
“Closer.” He whispered against your lips, pulling you towards him by your waist, close not being close enough as his lips worked wonders against your own. You were trying to lean back to catch your breath, but Sunghoon didn’t let you, chasing after your lips relentlessly as if he had to make up for something. Your back was arched and Sunghoon towered over you, making you feel even smaller.
You couldn’t help but let your hand wander into his hair, scratching his scalp slightly, which elicited a small gasp from him. Taking the opportunity, you let your tongue slowly dance against his own and he was quick to follow along.
Sunghoon only broke apart from you when he felt like suffocating, pressing his forehead against yours to catch his breath. You opened your eyes slowly, instantly being met with his own. You had never felt so cherished before, so adored. The moment you caught him staring at you with the most loving gaze, you couldn’t help but break out into a smile which he quickly mirrored.
Time seemed to stand still, the rain only a faint background noise as you basked in each other’s presence once again. The kiss and your gazes held so much emotion, so much you two wanted to share with each other earlier but couldn’t. But no matter how chaotic things got at the beginning of the summer, you wouldn’t want to be anywhere else at that moment.
“Do you really think we need to take pictures?” A hushed whisper could be heard from one of the cabins.
“Of course! The others wouldn’t believe us if we just told them.” Another voice responded, almost drowned out completely by the rain.
“We’re going to tease them about this to no end, are we?”
“Oh, absolutely.”
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