#...I hated it cause I only heard the stuff on the radio and had the false impression it all sounded like Lil Jon

[testure-1988]

[heevanly]

LATE NIGHT TALKS : LEE HEESEUNG (이희승)

𝐬yn. : being the host of a college late night radio talk show was a passion project since freshman year of college, but now as a senior, y/n hadn't expected the fame it brought to herself on campus... but maybe it was the recent string of murders that caused more tuning in than ever seen before.

𝐰arnings. / 𝐭ags. : (18+!). small series. gore. horror. college au. similar to a murder mystery au. swearing. mentions of wanting to vomit (no vomiting occurs). humor. mildly suggestive. no smut. main character death. side character death. heeseung and jay are manipulators. jay and heeseung have a small argument. enha members as main / side characters. lsf members as side characters. ive members as side characters. pet names used mockingly (baby, sweetheart, honey). more to be added as parts come out.

𝐧ote. : warnings are just overall, not everything mentioned is in this part in particular (like 98% is tho). also welcome to my first fully published work, i hope you guys like it. everything is also in lowercase, not sure why but that's just how things ended up happening haha.

𝐭aglist. : @livsateez @velvethana @ilyjxdz

© @heevanly 2024 | do NOT copy, plagiarize, reupload, or steal my works.

WC : 6.7k

Part Two. (TBD)

walking towards the music building on your campus was always the worst trek for you. it was the furthest building from your on-campus apartment and it was a combination of uphill walking, stairs, and loose gravel sidewalk that for some reason the school had yet to get fixed. you kick a loose rock and grumble incoherently, watching the rock hit the bottom stair leading up to the building. letting out a sigh you begin walking up the last of the stairs that leads towards the building. 

the night was serene at least, a bit chilly but it was still early spring, you’re just glad the hoodie you’re currently wearing is enough to block out the wind blowing past every so often. with the last bit of sunlight fading behind the horizon, you scan your fob into the building’s sensor, unlocking the doors.

a small noise crunches somewhere from behind you and your head immediately turns in the direction of the sound yet nothing is there. eyebrows furrowing, you rescan the fob and head inside the building shaking your head, “i hate walking at night, curse heeseung and his off-campus apartment, if only he’d pick me up.”

you head into the hallway that holds the elevators that lead into the basement. it’s never been the most ideal location to record, but it offered a few rooms that had equipment and space you needed to borrow.

after the trip down from the elevator you walk into the room the four of you have continuously used for the radio show. setting your bag down you start cleaning up the space, trashing old papers left behind, wiping the tables, doing simple tests on the mics to just make sure they work, overall just getting the place ready. you leave jay and jake's stuff mainly untouched, as they have their own way of setting up the lights, mic sensitivities, and what all else.

the door opens up behind you as you continue to do tasks around the rooms, not bothering to look at the door, you glance at the clock instead, “hey guys, you’re a bit earlier than when you normally get here.. we still got an hour.. but since you’re here could you,” your voice quiets down as you turn to address whoever was behind you directly, however no one is in the room.

“what the hell,” you mutter out scratching your head, “i swear i heard the door open.”

you quickly scan the room you’re in, checking under the table to see if one of the four decided to fool around a bit. seeing no one under there you move to the other room where jay and jake usually stay in, but no one is seen there either. a sense of unease begins to grow in your stomach but you decide to keep yourself busy by finishing up tasks in the room. printing out the schedule and loose script for the recording, you skim through, making sure you didn’t leave anything out and once satisfied you set the schedules and script in heeseung’s and your spot.

the clock reads 9:27 pm and you sit down on the couch, getting comfortable, getting ready for the other three to walk in at any moment. your phone rings and seeing jake’s contact pop up, you answer.

“hey jake, what’s up, did something happen?”

jake clears his throat on the other side, “y/n! glad you answered, couldn’t get a hold of heeseung, but i told jay already- wait is he there yet?”

“er, no.. well at least i don’t think so.” you scan the room once before playing with the charms on your nails.

“what..?” jake asks, confusion in his tone, “you don’t think so? y/nnie i hate to break it to ya but i think you’d know if someone was in the room with you.”

you let out a puff of air out through your noise in fake annoyance, “yes i’m well aware of that jake sim. but i heard the door open up behind me a little bit ago and i figured it was one of you guys stopping in a little early but no one was there so..”

“well.. i’m sure it’s just your pretty little mind playin tricks then, anyways jay should be there soon though, he left the flat a bit ago- oh right! since he isn’t there i guess i should tell you. i can’t make it tonight, forgot i overscheduled myself with my plans so i have somewhere else i need to be tonight.”

“what? jake why didn’t you say anything earlier today? i mean it’s fine, i got the room mainly all ready anyway but a warning other than being like five minutes before you get here would’ve been nice.” you click your tongue in annoyance to further drive the point in. frankly, you didn’t mind that much but teasing jake a little bit was something you couldn’t pass up.

you hear jake give a dejected sigh and stifle a laugh, “ok listen i know i know, i’ll make it up to you i promise but just this night i can’t make it alright?”

“yeah yeah, you have fun with your plans or whatever.”

jake chuckles, “oh i will, see ya y/n.”

the call ends just as jay walks in, he gives you a little wave and sets his stuff by yours, “here like always, before everyone else is.”

you drum your nails along the couch’s arm rest as you watch jay get situated in the room, “someone has to get everything ready, and it sure ain’t gonna be jake with the way he bailed on us tonight. and we’re lucky if heeseung shows up 10 minutes before we go on air.”

jay lets put a small laugh, “he told you he’d be gone? thought i was gonna have to be the one to tell you.”

“nah he told me, think he’s trying to get a hold of hee right now too.”

“eugh, good luck to him then.”

you raise your eyebrows in understanding, “yeah.. anyhow i printed out the schedules and cleaned everything up so..”

jay sits in his seat and turns to you, “you emailed me my schedule right?”

“yup, did it before i left my apartment.”

“perfect, alright you go get set up and i’ll test your mic and make sure feedback is clear.” upon hearing jay’s words you get up from the couch and move to sit down in your chair, jay gives you a thumbs up and you test your microphone, “test test test.”

jay fiddles around with a few notches and motions with his hand to try once again, “test test test.” you repeat into the microphone, which you receive a thumbs up and lean in your seat. all thats left was to wait for heeseung.

a few minutes later and he walks in, dragging his bag behind him, “woah dude you look like shit.” jay says, looking heeseung up and down.

“this assignment for prof kim is killing me,” heeseung groans out, exasperated, “i swear she wants me dead.”

your jaw drops slightly at the look of heeseung, “have you slept recently?”

heeseung drops his bag with everyone else’s, “just did, i was supposed to work on the assignment, fell asleep, woke up and sprinted over here.”

his hair was all tousled up and his shirt was slightly stained but his jacket managed to cover most of it up and his pants looked as if in some places dust or dirt got smeared onto it.

jay does one more look at heeseung before turning around in his seat, “alright well man, go get situated next, we’ll test your mic.”

heeseung simply nods before walking to his seat next, once jay gives him the go ahead he speaks up in the microphone, “test test.” jay gives the thumbs up to heeseung and you look up at the clock, 9:58 pm, almost time to go live.

you turn to heeseung, “you sure you’re alright? if you’re that tired i can handle doing a night alone.”

hee gives you a small smile, “promise im all good, that nap was like.. one of those ones where you wake up not knowing who you are or where you are kind, so i’m like.. oddly rejuvenated right now. think i could even fight off a werewolf and win.”

blinking once and then twice you look at him and slowly nod your head, “oohhhhhh kay mister tough guy.. whatever you say..”

“you not believing me is not very kind you know.” heeseung frowns, his lips forming a pout.

“i know, oh-! we’re going live.. 3.. 2..”

"welcome welcome welcome toooo SCU 101.85, you’re currently tuning in to the 10 o’clock pm talk show. i’m your host y/n and i’m here with my co-host..” you turn away from the microphone and glance at your co-host, lee heeseung.

“heeseung.” he speaks up into his microphone, shuffling a few of the papers around.

“and it’s currently a friday night, it’s 67 degrees out with a small breeze too so make sure you wear that jacket!” you chirp.

heeseung snorts and you pass him a look which he returns with a shrug, “you just sound chipper.. s’all.”

“ah.. well our ratings have been going up again.. it’s better than we’ve been seeing these past four months.. so.”

the past four months have been rather difficult for you and heeseung and the radio show. when you started this project sophomore year, it had just been you and your roommate kim chaewon, your ratings were steady in the beginning but had started declining after two months, which made your at the time co-host and roommate, quit. you don’t blame her, you nearly stopped too, which was before heeseung hit you up asking if you still needed another co-host.

accepting his help was the best thing you had done, his roommates jake and jay were all about the technical jargon behind running a radio show, which the reasoning was apparently the three had thoughts about starting a podcast but couldn’t get the timing right to actually get it started, so here they were willing to help you out.

production took off and the four of you found yourselves seeing steady viewers and got to even open a talk line, which was a segment that both you and heeseung took seriously, finding fun in chatting with anonymous students with various complaints they had of others, professors, relationships, or whatever else going on in their lives.

then, out of nowhere four months ago, the viewers started thinning out, causing your small team of four’s good feelings to falter. having been used to success it was shocking to be randomly met with a hard wall and seemingly, no way of getting out.

heeseung and your’s efforts were all in vain as you tried advertising the radio talk show, you had chaewon talk to her friends about spreading the show, heeseung talked to about it to his other friends and also had them spread the word. jake would mention it at his part time job, and jay even mentioned it at a small on-campus event, which he texted that he was never doing again out of sheer embarrassment.

heeseung hums, “well.. i could imagine people have been feeling a bit safer because of us, due to…” he trails off.

right, there's been a few recent deaths that have plagued not only your campus, but the town. you claim they’re very obviously murders while heeseung’s been claiming it’s been various unfortunate accidents. so far the death toll has hit only four, two on campus, one at a campus nearby, and one on the outskirts of town.

“the murders.” you finish his sentence off, gravelly.

heeseung rolls his eyes, but remembers that the listeners can’t actually see that, “you’re so obsessed with these being murders,” he teases.

“well.. it’s quite obvious, no?” you ask, tilting your head a little bit.

“ehh, i wouldn’t really say so, besides the two on campus cause they were ruled as a murder-suicide. regardless that was two months ago and the one at KTU was concluded to be an unfortunate accident.. shit what did they say about how she died again?” heeseung racks his brain, trying to remember how the girl from KTU died two weeks ago.

you scatter your papers around, “wasn’t it something about a lab issue..? their school got to close down because of it, that’s.. uh.. kind of all i remember about that.”

“oh you’re going to hell, haven’t you been following this whole thing since the murder-suicide on campus..?” heeseung laughs loudly and you slump in your chair, embarrassment flooding your system.

you sit back up and clear your throat, “in my defense..”

heeseung accusing points at you, “you! don’t have one.”

“pause, yes i do! rude…. my defense is that the fourth one’s been throwing me off with this whole thing, that i focused a little less on the third girl.” you huff out.

the fourth death was the weirdest in the whole thing so far, it happened a few days ago and it’s been the only one where the person involved wasn’t in the same age range and died supposedly.. well.. naturalistically. it had been a middle aged man, who was on his way home from work. apparently the report and the news claimed his tire gotten flat and when he had gotten out to check on it, he had been mauled by a pack of wolves wandering through. 

the police and how they concluded it just didn’t make sense to you, you stayed up for two days trying to determine it all. first, wolves hadn’t been sighted in that area for several months so a random pack coming through didn’t make sense. second, the blood inside the car, how did it even manage to get in there if the man was supposedly outside? the third rea-

heeseung snaps his fingers to try and get your attention back to the talk show, “hey, y/n, quit thinking about it, you’re just gonna make yourself paranoid.. or worse.. really obsessive over this.”

you sigh, biting at your lip as you mull over his words, “my bad, i just need to stay up on all this, our viewers need the information, they deserve the best after all.”

“and the best of the best is from two college seniors..?” heeseung raises an eyebrow.

“absolutely!” you respond, “we’re the only ones giving multiple sides to these events and ways to stay safe.”

“i’m sure the news have been doin all that too though.”

“pff, news schmooze,” you wave your hand at heeseung, “college students don’t care about tuning into the morning news before classes or turning the evening news on, we’re a source of entertainment AND murder mystery, and that’s what eats up.” 

“you’re greedy, y/n, soo greedy.” heeseung shoots a grin your way, a way to let you know he doesn’t mean it.

trying to stop a grin from making its way on your face, you roll your eyes, “oh suck my dick lee heeseung.” 

“gladlyyy..” he sings out, wiggling his eyebrows and chuckles into his microphone.

“you’re a freak..” you gather your papers back up and glance up at the clock, 10:26 pm, time to open up the first talk line segment of the night.

you give a small nod towards heeseung and he nods back and clears his throat, “well well well SCU you are listening on 101.85 and it’s rolling up to 10:30 pm, we got a two minute sponsor for y’all and when we come back live, our callers will be up discussin’ random whatever with us. give us a call at +82 70-5208-6001 and see if you’re lucky enough. again that is +82 70-5208-6001. see you soon.”

both you and heeseung give a thumbs up to the room in front of you and jay switches your sets off, rolling the sponsor. a few seconds pass and before you’re able to turn to heeseung to just casually chat, the switchboard for the phone calls light up, more so than you’ve ever seen before.

turning to heeseung you give him a look of wonder, his eyebrows are furrowed as if hes wondering the same thing you are, why are there so many callers tonight? jay clicks off the sponsor and puts on a jazzy song before stepping into the room, “what’s up with the callers tonight?”

heeseung looks up at jay, “not sure bro, we’re just as confused as you are. we haven’t seen anything like this before.”

the calls keep coming through, lighting up the board until nearly all have popped up, indicating that people are on the line waiting to chat.

jay takes a glance at his set up and back at the two of you and the board, “well you guys got about a minute before we go on air, can’t keep them waiting for too long so just…” he sighs and runs a hand through his hair, “just… i suppose keep their talking segments shorter..? man i wish jake was here right now he could help weed through the callers with me on my end.”

heeseung raises an eyebrow at jay, “he’s not here today at all? i thought he was just late?”

“nah, up and bailed last second, said somethin’ about a date but i think he’s lying.” jay rolls his eyes, “30 seconds, you’re both up soon.”

jay closes the door and you look over at heeseung, frowning “why the hell did he schedule a date during the same time he’s supposed to be here? he told me it was important, not that a date isn’t but i was thinking something with his parents or.. i don’t know..”

heeseung mulls it over for a few seconds, “i mean unless he was planning on bringin her home..”

“dude.”

“it’s jake we’re talking about, y/n.”

“okay, yeah you’re right, well you wanna go first with the calls then..?”

heeseung nods, the on air button lights up and he clicks on a random caller, “hey lucky number one, congratulations you’re on air with us on STU 101.85, what’s your name?”

“hey guys it’s yunjin!” yunjin’s voice is heard through the speaker.

you sit up in your seat a little bit, “oh my god, hey girl! thanks for calling, how you been tonight?” 

“same old same old, prof jeon is an asshole still and said my submitted designs lacks the ‘creative theme’ of what he asked for. the problem is, is that he gave us no theme, aside from it being wearable. so i based it off of 1960’s greek spring chic wear and now he’s denied my third design.”

heeseung nods his head, “we’ve heard from other fashion design majors that prof jeon is the worst, i guess this goes to show to any sophomores and juniors to not finish your semesters as a senior with prof jeon.”

yunjin scoffs, “you could say that again, i wish i took prof song’s class, apparently shes at least nicer with going about denying designs.”

“isn’t she tough to impress though..? i hear her students always come back with lower scores than those who take prof jeon?” you ask, “wouldn’t that be.. worse?”

“oh you’re right.. ugh just don’t be a fashion design major, worst choice ever.”

heeseung lets out a laugh, “alright well we’re gonna let you go and head to the next caller, good luck on the rest of your assignment.”

a hum is heard through the speaker, “yeah i should really get to finish on working with the fourth design, you guys have fun, i’ll still be tuned in too.”

the line clicks and heeseung switches to another caller, “and listeners that was miss yunjin, another senior here at STU, you may have seen her around workin tirelessly at the sewing machines in the fashion department, so send some luck her way for dealing with prof jeon. now we got our next caller with us, you’re on air!”

silence fills the studio and jay looks at you two through the window, mouthing a “the fuck?” and you two shrug, confusion on the both of your faces.

“uh.. dude? you there?” heeseung looks annoyed as he shuffles around in his seat.

more silence fills the room and now you can also feel annoyance creep into your body, “hey, listen if you’re not gonna talk we’ll move on. not sure if you stepped away from your phone at all or what kind of prank you’re trying to pull but you can cut it out, it’s not funny and it just holds us and everyone else up.”

“..01101000,” a gravelly, raw voice crackles through.

heeseung sits up, “okay i’m changing the caller, you’re a weirdo and can get off our line.”

 the voice continues, “..01100101.. 01101100–”

heeseung cuts the line, cutting the voice off too.

“freak.” you mutter, “what the hell was that?”

heeseung shrugs, “sounded like binary code, probably someone from comp sci deciding to pull a prank on us.”

“well they’re not funny, that was weird and kind of scary.” a shiver runs down your spine as you think about the voice that crackled through, whoever it was managed to perfectly replicate fear in their voice.

“oh don’t worry, i can protect you.” heeseung winks at you.

“i think my chances of survival lay better with jay, hee.” you look down to choose the next caller as heeseung makes a noise of offense, taking your words to heart.

“he would not-”

you connect to the caller, “and you’re the third caller of the night, thank you for spending your night here with us at STU 101.85, may we get your name?”

“uh, yeah hi it’s yang jungwon.. i’m a sports medicine major.”

your eyes lit up in recognition at the name and voice, “oh yeah! you’re on the journalism club right? i’ve seen you there frequently.”

“yeah, thanks for helping us out, y/n. uhm, you know i wasn’t positive that i’d get picked so i guess i’m unsure of how to say this.”

heeseung leans closer to his mic, “what do you mean, jungwon?”

“uh, well it’s just, that last caller and then the mysterious figure on campus is what i wanted to talk to you about."

that made you sit up straighter in your seat and from your glance at heeseung, his interest piqued as well.

“go ahead jungwon, we’re interested and i’m sure all the other listeners are too.” you give the green light for jungwon to essentially take over the whole talking segment.

jungwon takes a deep breath and you can hear some shuffling in the background as he gets ready to speak,“okay well, i’ve been staying late on campus for the last week because i work on the sports section of the campus news website right? and i’m not sure what’s been going on but i’ve noticed this shrouded figure walking late at night. they seem to be following any student late at night leaving the stem building.”

you look up at jay and then over to heeseung, the both of them listening to jungwon’s words intently you look back down at the board as jungwon continues, “i think it’s cause they often stay behind the latest right? i’m not sure, i felt it was better to be here and say it as a warning, in case the man was dangerous.”

heeseung speaks up, “you’re saying something now? didn’t you say it’s been the past week?”

jungwon is silent for a few seconds before breathing out, “okay yeah i figured someone would ask that, honestly i thought it was a prank at first, especially because it was a costume the person was wearing.”

“costume?” you ask, “what sort’ve costume?”

“it was that ghostface costume, you know like the scream movies one?”

“ghostface?” heeseung asks, skepticism in his tone, “you saw a dude in a ghostface costume? in spring?”

jungwon clicks his tongue, “that’s why i didn’t say anything, because it just sounds stupid. i really thought it was just a prank someone was pullin on a friend.”

you nervously pick at your nails as you think about jungwon’s words, “you’re saying something now though aren’t you? what made you change your mind?”

jungwon hesitates before saying anything, “the call.”

you raise an eyebrow, “what’s the call got anything to do with the ghostface random?”

“i.. got a weird call yesterday night, it was the same voice that just called you guys. honestly if i wasn’t seeing the costume dude on campus i wouldn’t have thought much of it or if i wasn’t tuned into the radio show tonight.” 

“why don’t you go to the police or campus security? dude like campus security should and would kick the guy off campus, even if what he’s doing is harmless, he’s being creepy.” heeseung sighs out and rubs his forehead a little.

“i did, they think i’m sleep deprived and seein shit, apparently they can’t find ‘any evidence’ that supports that someone's walking around being weird so they think i just need more sleep.”

“what about that phone call? isn’t it logged?” you’re honestly a bit worried for jungwon, something weird is happening, the murders, the calls, and the shrouded costume ghostface guy.

jungwon speaks a bit faster, trying to get all the information he can into the hands of however many people are listening, “thought it was, i re-called the number two days ago and it just immediately disconnects, then the number was gone from my phone yesterday. poof up and deleted from my call log.”

“oh what the hell..” you breathe out, heeseung looks pale as he listens to jungwon’s words.

“dude.. does that not remind you of the damn scream movies? like at least in some way?” heeseung shakingly asks, “it literally sounds like you’re being hunted jungwon.”

a clang is heard and a quiet “fuck” before some shuffling, “sorry dropped my phone, you kinda freaked me there with that heeseung.” jungwon lets out a sardonic laugh.

you turn to heeseung and lightly smack his arm, “no for real, why would you say some shit like that.”

heeseung splutters, “well.. like does it not? i don’t want to sound grave or mean about this right now but genuinely this shit sounds like jungwon is in danger.”

“not helping, dude.” jungwon speaks into his phone, voice low.

“no he’s got a point jungwon. with what hee’s talking about, you could really be in some serious danger. i mean a famous point of scream was the calls to the victims and if you’re really seeing someone run around in the ghostface costume..” you trail off unable to voice the rest of your concerns aloud.

“well thanks for helping me out you two,” the sarcasm in jungwon’s voice is clear and you flinch out of guilt. you didn’t mean to freak jungwon out a bit more, he really wanted to just warn people on campus who were out late. “regardless thanks for warning everyone on this, listeners tell your friends or if you know of any late night students, tell them they should be careful on campus now if they’re out late, just in case. jungwon this goes for you too you know?”

“yeah i know, i’m already off campus now so i should be fine.”

heeseung picks at his jacket’s sleeves, “still man, sounds like you gotta keep yourself safe anywhere.”

“i will, thanks for letting me stay for a while longer than you normally let your callers on.” from the background noise going on in jungwon’s call it sounds like someone coming in through his door, “i’ll go ahead and get going now, my roommate brought food and we’re gonna eat, thanks for having me guys!”

jungwon ends the call and you glance up at the clock which reads 11:07 pm, “alright we have time for one more caller, normally we’d have ended this by 11:00pm and done another segment at 11:30pm as you are all aware but i guess we’ll just have one long talk segment today. heeseung you wanna do the honors for the last lucky caller.”

heeseung nods and clicks on the next caller, “lucky number four, you are live with us at STU 101.85, you get to be the last call of the night with us, anything on your mind that you’d like to chat with us about?” heeseung and you are met with heavy breathing into the phone’s microphone. 

“hello..?” you call out tentatively and heeseung groans out beside you, “alright i’m really getting sick of the people who decide to prank us.”

the breathing stops abruptly at heeseung’s words and your breath hitches in the back of the throat. you’re unsure as to why the caller made you nervous, heeseung is right, prank calls have been weirdly often tonight, this was the second one of the night after all. heeseung’s hands reach to change the caller and that’s when a weird low static sounding voice filters through, “don’t hang me up, lee heeseung.”

heeseung stops his movement’s mid way and your head whips into his direction quickly, the voice continues, “why don’t you put your hand back down. we’re going to chat.” heeseung quickly obliges and fear has overtaken everyone in the room, jay from where he is, is even frozen from the voice.

“much better. thank you for having me on your lovely radio show. you know, i’m not exactly the happiest at having been the last caller, but i suppose only the best are chosen as the final right?” the voice takes a shaky breath before continuing, “y/n,” you freeze as your name comes out, “don’t you think being the final one is best too..?”

you don’t answer, unsure if that’s the best course of action, you just can’t bring yourself to say any words at this moment, but the mysterious caller decides he’ll make you answer, “answer me y/n. you get to choose the fate of someone very important tonight after all.”

your blood runs cold at his words, eyes shaking and tears even start to brim, you stutter out, “what.. what do you mean?”

“i’m so glad you asked honey, let’s bring out my special guest out.” the sounds of a muffled cry and cloth are heard before jake’s voice faint and hoarse comes out of the phone, “let us go man, just please let us go.”

you gasp loudly, heeseung slams his fist down at the table, and jay upon hearing jake’s voice runs into the room, a look you’ve never seen before on his face, either of their faces. jay looks like he may faint yet angry while heeseung looks as if he’s never experienced anger in the way he’s had before.

“i’m sure you know now who is with me.” the voice chuckles and you can hear some crying from a girl as well in the background, “i managed to get a two for one deal tonight for you all.”

“the fuck do you want with us?” heeseung grits out and the caller laughs.

“it’s not so what i want with your group, it’s what i want done with you, lee heeseung.”

heeseung’s bravado falters slightly, “what are you talking about? what could i offer you?”

“i wanna know why.. scratch that i think.. everyone here tonight deserves to know why actually, about the things you’ve done for your beloved radio show.”

you slowly turn your head to heeseung and he’s pale, hands slightly shaking, “hee? what is this guy talking about?”

heeseung looks up at you, pupils blown wide in fear and you feel your heart break at how scared he is, you know you’re not much better either, “i.. i don’t know, this doesn’t make any sense, i.. there’s.. i don’t know.” he’s panicking and you reach over to grab his hand to calm him down some. his hands are clammy but given the situation you understand, you squeeze and he squeezes back.

the voice scoffs, “oh please, get that fake shit out of my face. heeseung knows what he did sweetheart and if i were you i would think twice about holding his hands when all they know are acts of violence.”

jay speaks up before you have the choice to ask what they meant, “i’m calling the police, sick freak.”

“ah ah ah..” the caller tuts out, “if any of you three call the police, your beloved pal jake is getting gutted. i’ll even string out his body parts so prettily for you. send some lovely pictures, y/n you’d appreciate my art for you? right?”

you frankly feel like throwing up and you shake your head frantically, “no.. no..”

the caller lets out a cackle and speaks in a mocking tone, “aww… poor thing is so scared, heeseung why don’t you comfort your poor girl, after all you’ve done sooooo much for her.”

“fuck. off.” heeseung snarls out, hand not holding yours gripping the table and the strength behind it shocks you.

“no fun, either of you, jay’s always been a bit boring anyways, wanting the police involved in our fun so early. however i’m aware we are live.. so i guess we should speed things up. besides jake here i have someone important to jay here. say hello to jay.”

the sobbing girl is heard more clearly and the pit in your stomach is ever growing, the feeling of vomiting coming back tenfold, “why.. why are you doing this.. please i never did anything to you, please please please, let me go i won’t say anything. please j-”

a loud bang and a shriek is heard and jakes voice is screaming, “stop! stop just let her go, man. what is wrong with you?!”

some more shuffling and the caller is heard better, “what’s wrong with me? me..? you were the one who brought your dear friend’s ex out on a date.”

jay slams his hands on the table, leaning forward, “my EX? you were out with fucking yujin?”

more sobs from yujin, you suppose, comes through the phone, “i’m sorry, i’m so sorry, i wanted to make you jealous. i wanted you back, that was it i’m sorry i’m so sorry.”

rubbing his jaw, jay paces around the room, shouting out a “fuck” and slamming his fist against the wall, “jay! this isn’t the time! this asshole WANTS us to act like this, you’re playing into his hands!” heeseung calls out, standing up quickly, “he WANTS you to get angry, he’s enjoying this.”

“yeah?” jay spins around and lets out a shaky laugh, “really? and how do you know that heeseung? you know this guy or something? i wouldn’t be surprised considering you’ve got some fucking secrets of your own now.” jay jabs at heeseung’s chest and he stumbles back in surprise.

you put your head in your hands and yell, “stop! just stop you two! a sadistic killer has jake and yujin and you’re fighting?! what the fuck. just what the fuck?!”

“yeahh.. you two, what the fuck..?” the voice giggles, “you should be more like y/n and focus on the two that’s with me. maybe you can make y/n’s job easier and help her with her choice.”

your whip your head up, tears streaming down your face, “what the hell do you mean help you, you sick fuck?!”

“that’s not very kind now baby… and i mean helping me choose who i kill for everyone tonight of course.”

oh. oh no. no no no no no. absolutely not, you would not choose that, there’s no way you could bring yourself to do that. you shakingly look at the board and whimper out a “no” which the caller barks out a laugh in return, “i’m afraid it’s non negotiable. if you don’t.. i choose at random then and the other person lives with the information that they were saved because of me! or… i just kill both.”

the two men in the room with you freeze at the information they’re hearing, heeseung slowly walks to you, pushes your mic away and crouches down to your level, putting his hands around your body to help the tremors going through your body, he rubs your back soothingly and jay’s jaw clenches as he angrily blows air out of his nose.

heeseung lowly whispers into your ear, “it’s okay y/n.. you.. you gotta do it.. you can do this.. make the choice.. it’s easy right..? you don’t know yujin.. jake needs to be saved y/nnie. jay will understand.. yujin cheated on him anyways.”

you’re not sure why heeseung is calmly telling you this information, you’re not sure why jay won’t look at you directly, you’re not sure why it has to be you that makes this choice, but as heeseung whispers more into your ear about how you can do it and he believes you’d make the right choice you start thinking that doesn’t matter and heeseung’s right. jake needs to be saved. jake is your friend. you don’t know yujin. yujin was a bad girlfriend to jay. you don’t question heeseung’s whispers, you don’t question heeseung at all.

“jake..” you quietly mutter out.

“what was that? i couldn’t hear you..?” the killer sings out and you almost throw up for what feels like the thirteenth time that night.

“jake..!” you speak up a little louder and heeseung squeezes your body comfortingly, “i choose to save jake.”

yujin screams in anguish and you flinch in guilt. “excellent choice, y/n. saving your friends.. how heroic.” the killer praises and you put your head in the crook of heeseung’s neck, wishing this nightmare would just end, he just rubs your back, but you miss the grin he sends jay’s way.

the phone is set down and you can hear yujin plead for her life with the killer, “i just did what you wanted! you said.. you said j- no no stop don’t come any closer i swear i swear no one will know. let me go please. please. i’m sorry,” she cries louder and starts pleading to you all, “jay please.. convince her to save me. jay please we can be happy again. no. no. no! NO! JA–”

the wet sounds of a knife meeting flesh is loud, yujin’s cries become louder and you breakingly sob into heeseung’s shoulder, he grips your body stronger and continues to rub your back. the squelch noise of multiple stabs into yujins poor body ring in your ears. her choked back sobs and cries as her throat fills with her blood causes your sobs to bellow out even louder, heeseung whispers that everything’ll be alright, his constant whispering so soothing you try to focus on them instead of yujin’s dying noises.

it feels like an eternity later but the noises quiet down and all that’s left is silence in the room and the killer’s heavy breathing. “thank you, for allowing me the opportunity to give you and your listeners a show.”

more silence fills the room and you can hear jay’s footsteps in the background pacing once more but you don’t dare look up, an irrational fear that the killer is in the room with you playing in your mind.

heeseung’s eyes darken as he looks down at your shaking body, the small whimpers you let out ignites a fire in his body that he’s only ever gotten killing others and he has stop the smile from forming on his face as he thinks how quick you were to just trust him. his eyes flicker towards jay as he turns off the equipment in the radio show, jay nods once everything is off and they’re no longer live.

the voice speaks up once more and your body stills, having believed the killer dropped the call, “you’re always so sweet y/nnie. so so so kind. the best player for our games. sweet dreams.”

you slowly lift your head in confusion but a small pinch to your neck makes your head drop back down, your eyes blearing together as the only thing you can make out is heeseung’s necklace and white shirt, the feeling of his steady breathing and whatever just stung you luring you into the dark and away from the sick and twisted situation.

[jolalibrary]

keep you close.

simon 'ghost' riley x fem!reader summary: he's pretty sure he's in love with you. not that he'll admit it, acknowledge it. an: angst with fluff, mentions of injury, war-stuff, cheeky stabbings, just cod things. no smut. just feelings. cause I wanted flangst. word count: 3.6k

masterlist for ghost.

Ghost doesn’t think when his eyes land on you. 

He should. 

He knows he should. 

But he fires his gun all the same, not content with the sound each body makes when they fall to the floor. He wants them to fall harder, almost land and shatter. 

He wants them to hurt.

It’s all he thinks as he slides the metal edge along the throat of the last one. The one who is hissing at him in a language he doesn’t even care to translate. 

Ghost cares about one thing, and one thing only: getting that radio message out of his head. 

It’s an ambush. Do not proceed. Get out—

It has been on a loop since he heard it.

Your radio message. 

The one which made Soap shout, calling for you as the static and crackle came back. The sound which made his blood run cold. The one which made him charge across the base grab the person who confirmed the intel by the shoulder, and made them piss themselves. Accidentally, of course.

It had been Soap who suggested sweeping the place, but it hadn’t been far from his mind.

They found your radio stood on, crushed—likely by your own boot. You’d always been thorough—you also usually wiggled your way out of these situations, 

It’s how you’d earned the moniker Mouse to begin with. 

His eyes caught the dried blood, hoping it didn’t belong to you as his flashlight followed its path until his jaw locked, his muscles tensing. 

Your scrunchie. 

That ridiculous one you bought months ago. The one which you’d found hilarious, and he had found anything but. Black, with tiny ghosts on it, for Halloween. No other reason, you’d said with a smirk. Unless you want to borrow it, sir? 

It’s in his pocket now. 

Has been since he found it. 

As he lets the last man fall, he brushes the pocket with his hand before wiping the blood on his thigh, sheathing his knife.

Turning, nodding in the direction of the other men as they checked them as he moved across the room to you, sliding his gun behind his back, and dropping to his knees. 

We bring Mouse back. By any means necessary. 

He’s thankful you’re alive and breathing. Watching as your head tilts —trying to work out who it is. Cautiously, both for the fact he’s considering it and for the knowledge he could hurt you, his gloved hand slides up your cheek, watching you tense before he pulls down the blindfold with his fingers. 

One eye is swollen, horrid, and puffy. Something which makes him want to put extra holes in each of the men for it. But, he can’t take his eyes from the one of yours, which blinks, and stares at him, taking him in. 

“I’m undoin’ this cuff.” 

You swallow, nodding, trying to keep the eye fixed on him. The handcuff releases from your wrists as your arms drop weakly. 

It’s then he can see the bruises. 

The ones which have formed and the ones about too. 

How the colours vary in spots along your exposed arms, neck and cheeks. Dreading to think of how deep they go, how far they spread under your clothes. 

“Sir…” you whisper, his head moving closer. “You’re a piss poor listener.”

“Almost as bad as you, soldier.”

Cautiously, he moves closer, his knees hitting against your legs as his hand slowly brushes over your arm. 

He’s aware the others have their eyes trained on him, Soap giving orders, busying them. It doesn’t stop him from moving his arm around your shoulders, bringing you close until his chest is close to your side.

“Do you want me to close my eye, make it easier for you?” you cough—sounding like a deflated lung. “You seem the type to hate touching people.”

“Enough.” 

It comes out gruff, but he knows that you don’t take it that way. The side of your busted lip twitching as he pulls you over his lap. 

He’s pretty sure it’s the gentlest he’s ever been, even more so with someone. He doesn’t mean to press his forehead against the side of yours. But, he thought he’d lost you. 

The annoying girl who talked too much, who smiled and had no issues with personal space. Unless you were on the battlefield. Then, you were different—quiet, tactile, mouselike. You scurry, you don’t miss, with a gun, a knife or a computer. 

Ghost knew he was fucked before today. 

But, this confirms it. 

The sharp pang in his chest is a horrid, bitter reminder of how fucked he is—especially with how his heart skips a beat when your hand shakes as it brushes against his mask.

He should look away as he lifts you, breaking the stare he has with you, but you move closer, whispering for him—and him alone. “I knew-w you’d find me.” 

He tightens his jaw, feeling a lump in his throat as he gives a curt nod. “Always.” 

“Always,” you repeat softly, eyelashes fluttering, desperate to close.

“Hey, eyes on me,” he says, and you do your best. You hope he knows that. “Good girl.” 

You hear someone shout for a medic, but it’s not him. 

He’s saying very little, just letting his breath dance across your neck and cheek as he holds you to him.

The next time he sees you, he's visiting you when you’re in recovery.

He’s heard from others you’re improving. Soap nudging him, ensuring he’s heard him—thinking he knows more than he does.

He does go, though. 

You’re smaller than him, but you look so much smaller in the bed. Your face finally regaining some colour, an expression not twisted up in pain. The bruises faded, eyes unswollen. 

It’s a welcomed sight after the last time he saw you.

He crosses the recovery room floor, the room slowly emptying around him. He was glad that the rest of the med bay was without patients. 

His chair squeaks with protest when he sits beside you, eyes glancing over your face, over your arms, checking and checking that everything is where it was supposed to be. 

You say nothing. 

He says nothing. 

He just sits, staring at you, letting his eyes roll over your face. You seem to let him, likely basking in the fact that you’re currently not being boiled alive by him. 

It’s nice. Quiet. 

It’s helping to drown out the whimpers and groans you’d been making all the way back here from your injury. 

Until the tension reaches such a height even if you can’t stomach it. 

“What you doing here, Lt?” 

“Ensuring you don’t act recklessly.” 

“I think I can behave for one night.”  

“Doubtful.” 

You play with the sheets on the bed, rolling them between your fingers as he watches you, knowing what’s coming before you’ve even opened your pretty little mouth. 

“I’d behave for you, if you asked.” 

Sometimes, your brashness even surprises him. 

“I have asked,” he says, stretching his leg out as he watches you smile. “You still disobey me.” 

You nuzzle down into your pillow, not taking your eyes off him. 

“Sleep, Mouse.” 

“With you watching me?” 

He clicks his tongue. “Sleep.” 

You smile softer, eyelashes looking heavy. “Okay.” 

Nodding, he interlocks his gloved fingers over his lap. 

You’d been silent. 

Too silent. 

He knew how you got your Codename. He’d read your file, after all. You sneaked through impossible holes figuratively and literally. Price had informed him how good you were with computers, he hadn’t known how good until he read it himself. 

You were good, capable, and able. 

He knew you could handle yourself, which is why it wasn’t that which concerned him. It’s the silence. 

You’ve been quieter overall since you came back—since he brought you back. Since he helped carry you back to the truck till he watched you get patched up. 

Something inside of you, that annoyingly cheerful part of you, had withered. He knew it, Soap knew it. 

“You following me?” 

“Could say the same to you.”

“Can someone even stalk a ghost?” 

You’d tried to hide it, more so from him than the others. Your body trying to twist from him, but his arm had stopped you.

“Something you need, Lt?” 

“No.”

You’d given him a curt smile. “Goodnight then, sir.” 

He didn’t miss the way you added the sir.

Not that he expects he’s supposed to. Shifting his jaw from side to side, having watched you walk down the corridor, not even bothering to turn to look back at him. 

That had been two days ago. 

Today, you had dark circles around your eyes. A tenseness in your shoulders as you were all briefed. 

He waited, seeing if you approached him, and asked him to stay behind—not entirely sure what his answer would be if you requested it. 

But you didn’t. 

It should have been a warning, your demeanour shifting, darkness descending down over you the closer they got to the location. 

“Mouse, you copy?” 

Silence. 

Even to Soap. 

Often, Ghost knew he warranted your anger. 

He was colder with you, more stern. Especially since he’d allowed himself a moment—when he’d been able to hold you, carry you. When he’d felt your heartbeat and watched your eyes fix on him—warming him. 

He had wanted distance and walls. Many of them, more so. 

Now, he wishes he hadn’t. 

Because with Soap, you were light, never ignorant. And maybe he’d have recognised how your anger and hurt had consumed you. That what happened between you being taken and being found had festered and eaten everything good inside of you.

He could relate. 

More than most. 

“Mouse,” Ghost radios, gruff voice and all. “Fuck.” 

He taps Soap, heading in your direction, almost charging. He knew it before he saw it before his foot kicked open the door and witnessed it with his own eyes. 

He even freezes for the briefest second. 

Half impressed with the number of bodies on the floor. 

But then he reacts, hooking an arm under your hips as he both lifts and moves you against the wall. The knife falling from your fingers, clattering against the stone, the only other sound is your panicked breaths and Soap exclaiming, “Steaming bloody Jesus…” as he enters the room. 

His forearm presses into the wall beside your head, caging you in as his other palm presses into the wall next to your hip. 

Because it was the mission to kill him—once they’d got the information. 

The information he couldn’t currently prove you had—but he’d hoped you did. Because otherwise, he wouldn’t be able to contain his anger, his fury. Right now, it simmered, being kept back by that vacant look in your eyes he doesn’t recognise. Not in you, at least. 

You’re not looking at him. Not meeting his eyes. 

Too busy staring at the body on the floor, the one which has scarlet seeping from each hole you’d inflicted with a knife. His knife. 

“Mouse.” 

You don’t move, staring as if transfixed in the knowledge he’s dead. 

So he whispers your name. 

Your real name. 

Your eyelashes flutter into a blink, head-turning, finally pulling from the man who kidnapped you on the floor. 

“Got the drive,” you say in a tone void of emotion. 

Ghost didn’t want to shout, he didn’t want to scream at you, but he did all the same. 

Both in anger that you disobeyed an order and in a panic because he couldn’t stop the way his mind unravelled when you didn’t respond. 

That it took him back to that moment all over again. Where you were taken from him. Where he lost you. Where he should have protected you. 

“You wanna explain what the fuck happened back there?” 

You don’t look at him, folding your arms over your chest, suddenly finding the floor interesting. Pressing the sole of your foot against the wall as you leant, seemingly unbothered.

“That’s an order, Soldier—“

“I collected the information, and I stabbed him. Mission complete. Sir.” 

Sir. 

Fucking sir. 

He hated how it made him hard. Little bitch. 

“You disobeyed a direct order—“

“—The mission—“

“—You were supposed to wait for backup.” 

“I couldn’t risk it.” 

He rounds on you, forehead pressing against yours. “You couldn’t risk it?” 

Your eyes don’t soften. They hold his gaze, full of fire, ash and destruction. “Well. We’ve both seen the evidence of bad intel, haven’t we?” 

He stills. 

Blinking, staring into your eyes, seeing the darkness still swirling. The anger has lessened but still remains. 

“You need to let it go.” 

“I need to… what?” You look hurt, more than he thought you could, and then it vanishes, swept away by anger. “…fuck you, Ghost.” 

Moving from him, turning your back on him 

“Fuck me? If you continue down this path—“

Then you turn, your eyes burying into him. “It’ll what? Keep me up at night? Consume me? Well, guess what, Simon, it already has.” Your chest rises and falls rapidly, a tremor to your outstretched arm before you snap it back to your side. “For days, they asked me who we were. They had ideas. They did… inklings. But, they… they knew my fucking name, Simon. They…told me what they’d do, and I had nothing, not a single thing to drown it out as they described all the ways they’d kill Johnny, how they’d break Gaz, how they’d hurt…” 

You. 

The unspoken word hanging in the room. 

“I got it before, I did,” you say, words shaky at your almost declaration, “but I understand why you wear that mask—why you keep people out…” 

Your eyes fill with tears, one’s he wishes he could wipe away before they even meet your cheeks. 

“People you know can hurt you the most… right? That's what you said.” 

His head reeling back an inch, but it feels like he’s been hit. And then you leave, storming out of the room, and he doesn’t stop you. 

Because he knows he shouldn’t. 

Because you’d called him Simon. 

Not Ghost. 

He hates that you’re not here. 

You’ve been avoiding him. Outside of briefings and necessity, you’re nowhere else to be found. 

The rest of them are around a table, beers in their hands. His mask lifted just enough to enjoy his—if it didn’t taste like nothingness. 

Because there were no kind eyes on him. No jesting coming from a soft, sweet voice. 

Especially right now, when it’s needed as they discuss who they’re currently fucking their fist over. He hears someone ask him, something he ignores. 

And then Soap speaks for him. “I think Ghost here has his eyes on—“

“That’ll do.”

The others snigger, mumbling about getting some air as he cracks his neck. Hoping if he ignores Soap enough, he’ll vanish too. 

“Talk to her.” 

Ghost rolls his head on his shoulders, meeting his sergeant's expecting face.

Soap slaps his hand on his back. “Trust me, Lt, talk to her.” He tries to think of something, anything, to respond with. He hasn’t got anything until he continues, “Didn’t think you had a heart.” 

“A cold one. I have a cold one.” 

Soap smirks. “I doubt it’ll remain that way.” 

It doesn’t take him long to find you, seeing you huddled over papers and a computer. 

He considers watching you, but he steps in before he’s caught, offering you a mug, one you stare at suspiciously before taking it. 

You prefer a milky tea, one sugar. 

A person after his own heart. 

Right now, he imagines you need something different, so he chose coffee.

“What’s this?” 

“A boost. You need it.”

“Thanks?” 

He doesn’t know what to say. 

Letting himself see how dark the bags under your eyes have gotten. 

“You’re not sleepin’.” 

“Can’t.” 

He taps the desk with two fingers, your eyes lifting up to face him. Slowly, he retracts his hand, holding your stare as he takes his glove from his hand. He knows his sleeve has risen, the ends of his tattoo showing as he offers you his hand.

“You made me a drink, and now you want me to what, leave it?” 

Slowly, he nods. 

Your huff sounds before you stand, slapping your hand into his. It isn’t until your fingers are in his does he watch your eyes flicker, realising that you're touching him—really touching him. 

“Ghost…” 

“C’mon. Now.” 

He doesn’t let go or lessen his hold, not even when you slide your fingers between his. Not when everything inside of him tells him to run, to tell you to run. 

His mouth doesn’t open, it remains shut as he brings you to his room, opening the door, letting it swing open before he lets his eyes meet yours. 

Letting your eyes take it in before he nudged you forward. 

“Ghost…” 

“Simon,” he says gruffly. “My name is Simon.”

He shuts the door slowly behind the two of you, releasing your hand, moving it to his neck. 

Your eyes follow him, the air thickening—he can feel it. The hairs on the back of his neck standing, the ones on his arms standing. He’s even sure time is ticking slowly. 

Especially when he begins to slide his mask up, slowly showing you his chin, his cheeks, and his nose. 

Your lips parting, mouth falling open as he pulls it off that last bit. Nothing hidden, not from you. 

Swallowing, you make a noise, a squeak as if you’re about to say something, before clamping your mouth shut. 

“Hi.” 

Your lips twitch. “Hi.” 

His fingers brush yours ever so slightly, forcing your eyes to dip before landing back on his with so much adoration—he’s not sure how he deserves it. Any of it.

“What does this mean?” 

“It means you go to sleep. Here.” 

You raise a brow, and he almost smirks. Almost.

“Not like that.” 

Shrugging, you smile. “Coulda fooled me.”

Sighing, he lets go of your fingers. “You can’t sleep because you’re alone. But, if I’m here—“

“You’ll keep the ghosts away?” 

He runs his tongue over the front of his teeth. 

“Anything else this… declaration means? 

“Means you can trust me.”

He watches your head tilt, a scrunch to your brows and your forehead as you look at him. “I trusted you anyway.”

“Then get in bed.” 

He wonders if your cheeks are warm if they’re full or blush. More so when your eyes land on the floor, and he turns his back, moving to his things, finding you a t-shirt. 

On you, it’ll bury you. 

Which makes it perfect, just as perfect as the sound of you undoing your belt is to him and the faint sound of your trousers hitting the floor. 

“Here,” he says, holding the T-shirt behind his back, not wanting to look. 

Not even when he feels your fingers slide down his forearm, over his ink. When he feels your index and middle slide along his pulse, over his wrist and palm before taking it. 

It’s not until he feels your hands on his sides does he turn, your eyes looking up at him—somewhat close to the eyes he knew, the ones which first had his heart pulsing furiously as it is now. 

“Do you snore?” 

“Don’t think so.” 

“Sleep naked?” 

“Not all the time.” 

“Good,” you comment, loosening your grip as he turns to face you. “Hate for you to have gone to all this effort to not let me get a wink of sleep.” 

The double meaning of your words isn’t lost on him. 

Especially when he sees the twinkle in your eye, the grin desperate to blossom over your lips. 

“Unless…”

“Another time,” he says, even if he hates himself for it just a bit. “Now, get in bed.” 

You nod, smiling, “Yes, Sir.” 

Fucking hell. “Less of that.” 

“Any reason?” 

He snorts, turning to watch you climb into his bed, slowly pulling his T-shirt over his head, hearing you inhale as if your mouth was next to his ear. 

“I’m tryin’ to be a gentleman.”

He flicks the light off, wondering if your heart is hammering as much as his. Each step towards you feels like a mile, but he’d do it again and again. Feeling for your hand and the sheets you’re offering him, sliding in beside you.

For a moment, he’s tense. 

Just as you are. 

Especially as his bare legs find yours, your back to his chest, hair tickling his nose. He waits, letting you make the first move for comfort, feeling you breathe heavily before shuffling against him. Fingers trying to keep your hair out of his way, pulling it, twisting it.

And he remembers sliding his hand under his pillow, pulling it out slowly, the fabric rolling between his thumb and finger before he finds your hand over the sheets. He feels you tense, likely recognising it instantly, slowly taking it from him as you move, turning to face him.

Even in the darkness, he makes out your features. 

His hand reaches up, touching his chin before fingers spread up your cheeks. His thumb rolls over your bottom lip, wanting to kiss you desperately. 

“You found it?” 

He says nothing.

“You kept it?” 

He breathes out. “I did.” 

You must feel his heart hammering. You have to. 

Your body slowly comes down, arms sliding around his chest before hands find themselves on the back of his neck. 

His head turns as you let hug him, as your body says everything without so much as speaking. And all he can think is he’s an inch away from your lips. 

He’s within reach. 

He could. He should. 

“Simon…” you whisper. 

His throat goes dry, and then you kiss him. 

Silencing his mind, silencing everything that doesn’t matter—doubt, worry and the sound of that radio message—as he runs his hands over his T-shirt that covers your body. 

Pulling you close. 

Keeping you close.

I’m with you : read part two

[magicxc]

Square Up

Pairings: Survey Corps x Reader - things they do that annoy you

Word Count: 1029

Warnings: none

A/N: You know what really grinds my gears? When people are cruising on the road at 8am. Bitch move over, I’m literally late for work 😭 

Lol that being said, here’s some everyday routines where I think the guys would be most annoying. 

Headcannons Masterlist

Eren - leaves the big pot to soak.

You’re thankful for the help you really are, but you’d be even more thankful if Eren didn’t half ass the job. Albeit some of those food stains are really stubborn and just refuse to move, but every time? Not even! One day you had put on a pot of water to bring some potatoes to a boil, eager to stuff your face with the fluffy goodness of your handmade garlic mashed potatoes. And sure enough when dinner was long gone there the pot sat atop the stove, unwashed, because it needed “to soak.” You get it, Eren hates doing the dishes but you might actually cry the day you walk into the kitchen and meet the sink empty. You've complained about it on occasion but truth be told it doesn't bother you as much as it used to. He's even gotten creative and started hiding the pots in the oven and you can't help but giggle, closing the door so as to keep his "secrets" hidden.

Levi - adds water to the empty soap bottle to make it last longer.

Levi lives a somewhat frugal lifestyle and it has everything to do with his upbringing. Thankfully he’s a lot less stingy than he used to be, but this habit in particular has been the hardest to kick; and you just about pull your hair out every time. It's not even like there's not enough soap to spare. It's mostly him getting the most use out of the lingering soapy particles as he can. Surely it no longer serves its protective purposes, no matter how sudsy the results are? You've  since learned to keep an extra bottle of personal soap in the cabinets for such a time, bringing it to the countertops once Levi has exhausted all efforts with the previous one. 

Erwin - loud eater.

It’s not even an Erwin thing to be honest, it’s a people thing. Slurpers, suckers, gulpers, they can all get it. Cause why? The only people who can actively change the way they eat are the open mouthers, so you don't even waste your time with the Commander. Some background noise on the tv or radio can help you through most meals, but it doesn't stop your skin from crawling at the idea or pause in noise volume. 

Connie - leaves a swig of juice left in the carton. 

This one blows literal steam out of your ears because what was even the point. If an 8 ounce glass of orange juice was just poured and there’s 2 ounces left, just finish the damn thing. You’ve heard excuses ranging from he didn’t want to because then he’d feel bad for not leaving you any to he simply wasn't thirsty enough the last gulp; but none of those ever make it better. Connie still does this but makes an extra effort to hide the carton in the deepest part of the fridge for when he’s ready to finish its contents. 

Jean - revs his engine loud as hell.

At first you thought it couldn't be helped until one day you had to borrow Jeans car to run a few errands. Then it all clicked. This mf wants to be seen. He wants people to know it's his engine with all that horsepower beneath the hood. He wants any chance he has to show off his sleek ride that he’s worked so hard for. Unfortunately it's all at the expense of your eardrums and now you only ride with Jean out of necessity. When you do ride with him, however, you make sure to roll all the windows up, not that it helps much.

Onyankopon - uses all the hot water after a shower. 

While it is annoying you don't mind this one so much during the summer time or the night time. But it just about drives you nuts in the morning and during the winter months because not only are you now running late for work waiting for some hot water to kick in but if it doesn't in time, now you have to suffer through a cold and uncomfortable shower. You've since started looking up the benefits of a cold shower but none of them has outweighed your comfort. So you've started showering before him, dashing into the bathroom as soon as you even think he's about to get in there.

Reiner - sets his alarm but never hears it. 

This one really does you in. You're not the lightest sleeper but you can definitely hear when an alarm is non stop ringing. You sometimes envy the deep sleep that Reiner manages to engulf himself in but then slowly remember that it's borderline dangerous. The only reason you don't throw a bitch fit is because y’all have similar work schedules, so the alarm also works in your favor. But he's definitely gotten the occasional pillow to the face or slap to the arm; not that he ever feels it.

Armin - gotta take a pic of every meal.

It's all about presentation with Armin. You can cook a pot of ramen noodles and he’d grab his camera if you fixed it up nice. Y'all are at dinner and the waiter brings the food by? Can't dig in until he has the perfect shot. Usually you don't mind, but his perfect shot takes at least four different angles and your stomach gets louder by the minute. You haven't found a way around this one just yet, so you instead endure the torture.

Floch - watches his tv with the volume level on ignorant. 

Why must the house sound like a surround sound movie theater you’ll never know. Action movies you understand. You'll even bite for thrillers. But anything else? It’s definitely up for debate. You can literally step outside on the curb of the street and still hear the entirety of the movie playing. You assume the loud noise is so he can submerge himself in the plot of the film but you’re running out of different ways to tell him to turn that shit down. The new rule now is nothing on the screens past 7pm if he can't watch it at regular volume.

Tags - @eveningatthemoviesnetwork

[mykneeshurt]

Hi Sweet ,

could I request any length piece you're down to do with Alex Keller x plus size f!reader (if body description isn't something you do you can leave it out).

I was thinking in the older brother's best friend trope, reader is probably mid 20's with Alex being early 30's. Throw in a dash of them balls deep in tension and a sprinkle of jealousy to get the feelings & devils tango rolling if you would kindly please?

Like they meet when readers brother comes home from being stationed with a new friend in tow.

Hear me out please, this man Alex Keller is a munch, if you're down to add that (please).

If you write this, if doesn't have to be any time soon and please change it as much as you want or are inspired to 🖤 thank you!

Hellooooo! Thank you for your request ❤️

I’ve tried to allude to a plus size reader, but I’m awful as describing plus size even though I am myself lmao so I hope it’s ok!

I used so many prompts from @glitterypirateduck Alex Keller list lmao

Prompts used - don’t look at me like that

I don’t care what they say

Is this what you wanted

Leave it on

Alex Keller x F! Plus size reader

Summer BBQ

Alex Keller. Your brothers oldest friend. Pain in the ass ever since you met him all those years ago. It was your 26th birthday and of course your brother had to invite him to the BBQ. He was older than you by a few years but that absolutely did not stop him from winding you up every opportunity he got.

He’d come over to help set up, put up balloons, banners, buntings, help with the food prep and of course help your dad with the BBQ. You’d never understand mans fascination with fire. Simple creatures.

You were busy preparing cocktails to put in the drink dispenser, humming a song you’d heard on the radio. It was a beautiful day, birds chirped in the trees, there was a gentle breeze and most importantly the sun was shining.

That was until a shadow blocked it, causing you to flash them a disgruntled look. ‘Don’t look at me like that’ Alex laughed, ‘came in to see if you wanted help. Your dad and brother have gone to the store.’

‘Your stupid muscles are in the way of the sun. Move.’ Your relationship with Alex was a strange one, love hate almost. He was handsome, funny and definitely flirty with you, but he was bold and too forward for your liking.

‘I’m not moving’ he smirked, crossing his arms which made his muscles only bulge further. ‘You’re being annoying’ you stated, keeping your focus on slicing fruit. ‘And you’re being so cute right now’ he cooed.

‘Ew Alex!’ You laughed, finally losing your tough exterior. ‘If you wanna help get the ice out of the freezer and put it in there’ you pointed to the glass drink dispenser.

He nodded and did as he was told, you made light conversation as you both worked. Filling each other in on how’d you’d been, what you’d been doing and of course your dating life. ‘Well I am seeing someone, he’s coming today so you’ll get to meet him’ you said cheerfully. ‘Hmm, I’ll be the judge of that. Gotta make sure he’s good enough for you’ he said, voice suddenly quite tense.

‘Good enough for me? You’re not my dad’ you laughed. ‘Maybe not, but I gotta make sure they’re good enough for you.’

‘And if they’re not?’ You smirked.

‘I’ll have to set them straight.’

He looked serious, there was no smiling, no joking, his body was tense. ‘Alex Keller, are you flirting or starting a fight? You jealous?’ You teased smacking his arm.

He took a few steps towards you, closing you into the kitchen counter. ‘You wanna see how jealous I really I am?’ His eyes were dark, body towering over yours. ‘What are you doing? Get out the way, we’ve got stuff to do’ You said, losing your breath.

You felt half curious, half … turned on.

‘Mmm I’m not moving’ he muttered, eyes dropping from your eyes to your lips. Slowly he placed his lips on yours, they were soft and gentle. The kiss wasn’t demanding, it felt slow and tender. He pulled back, the darkness still present in his eyes. You stood for a second, trying to figure out what this meant. What would your brother say? Was this wrong?

In what felt like forever you finally cupped his face as you leant in ‘do that again.’ He snaked his hands around your waist pulling you in, pressing your voluptuous body into his. He deepened the kiss, his tongue brushing against your teeth, your tongue, your lips. You wrapped your arms around his neck, arching your body into him further.

He lowered his lips to your neck, your collar bone, nipping the skin in intervals. You felt your panties becoming wetter and wetter. Returning to your lips the kiss was now desperate, sloppy, your saliva mixed together as your tongues danced over one another.

Pulling away he led you to the sofa, unable to keep his hands from exploring every part of your body. As you sat down you went to remove your summer dress but he quickly stopped you. ‘No leave it on’ he ordered. He guided you to sit down, spreading your thighs with his hands. An audible groan fell from his lips as his fingertips squeezed your thick thighs.

He kissed along your inner thigh whilst squeezing the other. You watched as he looked up at you with his baby blue eyes, pupils blown wide. His lips traced the apex of your thigh as he bit into the soft flesh. You hissed through your teeth as you embedded your fingers in his hair.

He smiled into your pussy, he placed a gentle kiss on your panties before removing them entirely. His breath fanned against your core which was now soaking with your arousal. With one long swipe of his tongue he parted your folds, groaning as he did so. ‘Fuck’ he muttered, ‘taste so much better than I imagined.’

Losing your breath almost instantly you gripped his scalp, ‘you’ve thought about this?’ He hummed into you, languid stokes of his tongue up and down your slit. ‘This what you wanted?’ You panted, losing yourself to him. He hummed again but this time sucking on your clit. Sliding his hands under your thighs he pulled you off the sofa slightly, so you were resting on his shoulders.

He ate your pussy like a man starved, savouring every morsel of you. Devouring your taste, your essence. He sucked, licked, and gently nipped at the sensitive skin. You rolled your hips into him, craving more contact, craving your release. ‘Fuck Alex!’ You whined, breath caught in your throat. ‘That’s right baby, sound so pretty moaning my name.’

You felt your arousal drip from you, this man could eat pussy. His breathed was heavy and laboured as he buried his face in your greedy little cunt. You kept moaning his name, like a mantra, something to focus on. Back arched on the sofa, toes pointed.

As you were coming close to your release you heard a car pull onto the drive. ‘Oh fuck! Fuck!’ You whined, he got to his feet laughing as he handed you your panties. ‘I knew this was a terrible idea’ you panted whilst trying not to laugh, ‘I was so fucking close too.’

Once you slid your panties back into place he placed a swift kiss on your lips. ‘Is this not what you wanted?’ He smirked as he grabbed your ass. ‘Fuck off, go wash your face, the fuck would they say if they caught us?’ you smiled.

‘I don’t care what they’d say’ he shrugged, a serious look on his face, ‘but I’ll tell you one thing.’

‘What?’

‘I will be fucking you later, need to finish what I started.’

[gumikpxp]

Never Gonna Happen - C.BG

Rocker AU

pairing: Radiohost!Gyu x (f)Rocker!Reader

Warning: Cursing, Bad Humor, Teasing, Slight bullying.

Synopsis: She's your modern day hannah montana. a goody too shoes to everyone who knows her, the perfect golden girl during the day. but when she's alone she's anything but allowing herself to let go of her perfect reputation. Then theirs beomgyu who's proudly part of the band txt and radio host of the schools most popular station. He hates her, but shes utterly enamored by him.

Chapter 2. interview?

Beomgyu dropped his bag on the cafeteria floor taking a seat off at the table with a huff.

"remind me what we are doing in here again?" Beomgyu spoke glaring at yeonjun who was currently filtering with a group of girls only a few feet away from them, even having the audacity to sign one of their phone cases. "And why is he always doing that?"

"Kai was hungry and they had pizza today. and Yeonjun just like to get his ego stroked." Taehyun answered as he looked over his math work. Kai hummed as he took a bite out of the abnormally large slice of pizza he was served and soobin was seemingly stared off in space in somewhat of a deep thought.

"so Gyu i was thinking for toxdo, we should try something new, our listeners are pretty good right now but a good way to bring in more audience is to talk about the new buzz." Soobin told him and beomgyu nodded.

Most ideas for the show went through beomgyu cause even though Soobin was the leader of the band, Beomgyu was in charge of organizing and being the main host for their show. Usually accompanied by only one or at most two of his members on the show depending on the day and everyone's schedule.

"okay.. what's the new buzz?" Beomgyu asked since he has been practically a zombie all day ignoring everyone around him.

"The Love Abusers, ever since the night at the club they're all people have been talking about. They're new and no one knows a thing about them. Not to mention no one has seen a single one of the members before and that's pretty rare. Our town isn't the biggest." Soobin spoke as he opened up their notebook for the show that had a list of ideas none of them quite hitting the spot in what they felt was needed.

"Wouldn't that make them out competition? why would we give them yet another platform?" Beomgyu asked not quite trashing the idea only questioning it.

"Not everything's a competition Gyu, remember we make music and host a show cause we like it and it's fun, not to be the best." Kai said wiping some of the marina sauce he got on his mouth with his sleeve.

"Kai gross you have a napkin." Taehyun grimaced. "Soobin what if they don't want an interview? i mean they did stay hidden for a reason. what makes you think they want to be known now of all times?" Taehyun added to the conversation and soobin seemed to be stumped with the question crossing the idea off of the paper.

"Because they finally performed. They brought the light on themselves when they went to the club and introduced their band to the world. Plus it never hurts to ask. I like the idea soob." Yeonjun commented the second he joined the conversation. How he heard it? their not sure but none of the boys would ever understand how yeonjun does half the stuff he does.

"Fine, we can ask. only because i am fully stumped and i really really didn't want to go with kai introducing all his plushies to the world." Beomgyu sighs in acceptance however it left kai a bit heartbroken as yeonjun comforted the youngest.

The boys entered the club that thursday on a mission. Everyone in the club was surprised to see them as they never came to the club when they didn't have a performance planned.

"Soobin! boys? what are you guys doing here?" Jisoo asked and soobin smiled at the owner of the club bashfully.

"Hey Jisoo, nothing much we just had no plans today thought we'd come and see the performance today. See what else the new group has up their sleeves." Soobin said and Jisoo rolled her eyes and the boys.

"so you staking the out the competition?" she asked.

"Told you they were our comp." Gyu mumbled and taehyun elbowed his ribs in response earning curses from the long haired boy.

"Well sorry to break it to you but your usual Table is taken by Kat and her group." Jisoo smiled motioning towards the table the boys were all confused until the noticed the familiar girl band sitting in their seats.

"This is really starting to feel like a competition." Yeonjun mumbled.

"Not really we can't expect the table to be free when we are expected to show up." Soobin told them and Jisoo nodded leaded the boys over to a booth a few tables away from the girls.

"Alright we'll get comfortable i gotta go introduce the group." Jisoo said as a waiter came up to the boys placing a tray with their usual drinks in the table.

"Alright everyone! It's the hour you've all been waiting for! They seem to have stolen the hearts of many and it's only their second show here at the bar. Let's welcome to the stage.. The Love Abusers!!."

The club erupted in cheers surprising the boys as the girls all left their booth and got to the stage situating theirselves with the instruments. However it seemed the lead singer ignored her guitar and situated herself behind a keyboard as their bassist grabbed the guitar.

"Hey guys.. it's great to be back, how's everyone night going?" the lead singer spoke again earning another cheer.

Beomgyu cleared his throat hearing the girls voice yet again. He definitely hates that feeling.

"It's been three full days since we performed and Cas here seems to have gotten herself in some relationship drama." The girl spoke looking over to their bassist as she rolled her eyes and approached her mic.

"Oh please Kat, you can't say it's all that surprising." Cas spoke ranting hollers from the crowd as it was their first time hearing her voice.

"Definitely not, you see guys Cas isn't much of a saint... and because of that i've written just the song for her." Kat spoke as the drums picked up behind her and Cas started strumming.

"I've been a bad bad girl..." Kat started her eyes drifting to the boys of txt as she smirked. The crowd cheered at the beginning of the song.

"I've been careless with a delicate maaann..." her eyes left the group and they all looked at eachother.

"that's a dirty trick." Yeonjun huffed slouching in his seat not strong enough to admit that he liked the song.

Beomgyu took in the melody of the song. He sighed as he tried to wrap his head around the fact that the song was written in about 3 days and already sounds this good.

"Well they have talent. Where have the been hiding?" Taehyun asked and they all shrugged.

"i guess we know what to ask when we interview them." Beomgyu said and they all looked at him.

"oh so now you're very into the idea of interviewing them." Kai mumbled as he drank his limonade.

Beomgyu shrugged. "They're interesting."

"He's definitely got a boner for the lead singer." Yeonjun scoffed.

"shut up!" Beomgyu groaned throwing a salt packet at the older.

"What i need is a good defense, cause i'm feeling like a criminal, and i need to be redeemed to the the one i sinned against because he's all i ever knew of love..." She finished the lyrics off as the song began closing.

the crowd erupted in cheers and they chuckled as cas spoke in the mic. "Look at us gaining popularity off of my commitment issues." Cas joked and the drummer laughed.

"Never tell Kat she can write a song about your love life because she'll drag you through the dirt." The drummer spoke.

"Awe JJ you know that's not true... okay maybe a bit." Kat smiled as the audience listened to their batter on stage.

"Speaking of JJ, didn't she write one for you too?" Cas asked and Kat put her hand in her hands.

"hm.. you know what your right she did, care to share it with the class Kat?" JJ asked with a smile and Kat nodded leaving the keyboard taking her guitar from Cas as Cas went to her Bass.

"my love i missed you." Kat spoke kissing her guitar.

"if that's not beomgyu i don't know what is." Taehyun teased and beomgyu rolled his eyes.



She sighed and began strumming. "Everyone this is Bite me." JJ announced.

"Don't act so innocent this was no accident, You planned this in the end and now it's over.."

"they seem so natural.." Soobin mumbled confused since they were suppose to be rookies.

"definitely they're very comfortable on the stage."

"Beomgyu ask!" Kai mumbled and he shook his head.

"What? me no it was soobin a idea!"

"Oh jeez move you losers..." Yeonjun mumbled. "Hey! Love Abusers... Come here!" Yeonjun waved the girls over and they smiled walking over.

"If it isn't TXT.. coming to see our set? how nice." Cas smiled at the boys.

"Ah so you know us?" Yeonjun smirked at the girl and she scoffed.

"It's not a very big town." She told him and taehyun nodded at that.

"And yet you guys stayed hidden quite well, you're very comfortable on stage you know that?" Taehyun said to the girls and they looked at him.

"we have a very nice garage." JJ retorted crossing her arms feeling a bit hostility from the shorter.

"We'd like to interview you guys, for our Radio show it's called toxdo have you heard of it?" Beomgyu asked wanting to end the conversation his eyes glancing towards kat who off stage seemed a bit timid and was the smallest of her group.

"like we said, small town word gets around. We've heard of it." JJ smiled and beomgyu nodded.

"Are you interested than?"

the girls looked at kat and she nodded.

"Sure, here's my number i'll text you later tonight about it, it's tomorrow right?" JJ asked giving her number to beomgyu and he nodded.

a ringing went through all their ears and Kats eyes widen checking her phone.

"We've gotta go. Like now." Kat said and the girls nodded.

"See you guys tomorrow!" The girls waved as they rushed out the club.

the boys looked at each other from the odd exchanged but shrugged. They got the interview.

songs of the chapter.

Criminal- Fiona Apple

Bite Me- Avril Lavigne

[thenightling]

*SPOILERS!* My review of The Witcher season 3 (first half) with mid-season finale spoilers

In general I actually loved The Witcher season 3 so far.

I like how the writers more or less fixed the harm to the character dynamic they caused with Yennefer's behavior in Season 2. I absolutely love the new music by Percival Schuttenbach. It really sets the mood. They should have called upon that Polish band that did the video game music sooner. They really know what they're doing. I love that they no longer tiptoed around Jaskier's sexuality and allowed him to have a romance (even if his lover probably should not be trusted.) I'm dreading the conclusion of the season (to be released July 29th) because I have a bad feeling Geralt might be replaced with an alternate universe version of himself to explain the change in actors. I don't like that. I imagine it going like "Well, since I'm stuck here, I might as well protect you, other Ciri." I hope I'm wrong. Having an alternate universe version of Quin take over the lead role in Sliders helped kill that series. I'd rather something happen to Geralt where his soul ends up in a new body or he's badly disfigured so a new body has to be made for him somehow. That I'd be okay with. I wish they wouldn't bother with an in-show explanation for the change of actors. A glamour spell was the explanation for the change in Robin Hood actor in Once Upon a Time and it was completely unnecessary. The change had happened years earlier. It didn't need a season 4 explanation. Anyway, most of The Witcher Season 3 has been excellent. The four main characters of Geralt of Rivia (the Witcher), Yennefer (The sorceress), Ciri (Geralt's adopted daughter), and Jaskier (The bard freedom fighter) have all had their chances to shine. My only disappointment really is the mid-season finale. There's a song sung at a ball. The performer is Valdo Marx, a rival bard to Jaskier. The song is catchy and bears a striking resemblance (in it's refrain and rhythm) to Queen's Radio Gaga. I heard the song out of context before I saw the episode and liked it but... The episode kind of ruined it for me. I read articles where people behind the scenes compared the episode to The Red Wedding from Game of Thrones so I expected a coup and some major character deaths. No. Instead I got a fifteen minute story played over, and over, and over again. Each time more details or hidden agendas revealed. And it would have been clever if the schemes weren't so obvious. But what made it worse is with each variation of the flashback there was a "Tok, tok, tok" sound (often used in modern video games) followed by The first verse of "All is not as it seems." By the time the episode was over I felt that I might hate the song. Imagine if Disney's Frozen replayed the crescendo of Let it Go thirteen times, back to back while other stuff happened in the foreground. That's how it felt. And just as annoying as you might think. "All is not" *clap clap* "as it seems! All is not" *clap clap" "as it seems!" SHUT UP ALREADY! Or at least get to the next verse! I need to use the actual Queen song Radio Gaga as brain bleach. Also I was kind of relieved that the so-called cliffhanger is just someone holding a knife to Geralt's throat. Ooooh, he totally can't get out of that. Oooh. But whose doing it? Does it matter? Pretty much everyone except Ciri, Yennefer, and Jaskier are his enemies. I wish they had just released the whole season all at once. There was really no need to break it up like this. I had also hoped to hear Jaskier's "Ride of The Witcher" in context but that probably won't be until the July season finale. Disclaimer for my Witcher season 3 part 1 review: I actually really like the song Let it go From Frozen. Just not played over and over and over again.

[zeawesomebirdie]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you so much @unmaskedcardinal for the tag!!

How many works do you have on Ao3?

29 total, but I haven't spent the time crossposting my old ff.net fics yet

2. What's your total Ao3 word count?

198,683

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Like, actively? Cause uh, I'm the kind of person who needs to finish the fic before I can post it, and so I'm currently in the process of a whole bunch of fics that I haven't yet posted. Those are Gunsmoke (radio version), MASH, Star Wars: Legends + Star Wars: prequels, Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, and the DCU (but more like, specifically the all media types of Batman and Superman specifically)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Truth/Dare (revalink, college!AU, rated T)

Rainy-day Homework (ganlink, college!AU, rated G)

but when i'm alone on the longest nights, i think of you and your fairy lights (beedlink, mostly canon compliant, rated E)

Missing Memories (revalink, angst, rated T)

An Unexpected Picnic (revalink, pre-Calamity, rated G)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to! Recently I haven't been as good about keeping up with them because of my chronic illness stuff, but when I have a good day I try to get them done :) I think it's really fun to connect with people who have similar tastes as I do, and get to discuss headcanons or plot points or what have you!!

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't usually write things that end on angst, I usually aim for hurt/comfort or at least some form of hopeful ending. I've been told that Missing Memories is my angstiest fic, but I think that title is actually held by Pompeii (If You Close Your Eyes) (song fic)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I'd say if i were to save you, would you do the same (kylux). It's the whole surviving against all odds and then looking toward the future thing, you know?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not on Ao3, but I have on ff.net. It's been a few years since those days though!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do!! I just don't post it, for reasons related to I haven't finished the fics in question yet lol. I try to write it as a way for the characters to explore each other and connect on a different level beyond the usual grime and gore and horror of the worlds they live in.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

So. I don't have any posted yet oh no I've said this like five times by now ahh, however I have plot bunnies for a MASH/Star Wars: prequels crossover, and I just started plotting out a Gunsmoke/DCU crossover. I think the Gunsmoke/DCU one is crazier exclusively because it's a very tiny fandom for a radio/TV show from the 50's mixed with the whole Batman and Superman fandoms, which. Kind of a large set of fandoms there ngl

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I have no idea. Probably, but I haven't heard about it.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I did the 2021 Kylux Big Bang with @viraaja and the 2021 Obikin Big Bang with @skittlles !! I'd love to do more work with others at some point, genuinely wonderful experiences!

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Is it a cop out to say I just don't have one? I never really leave a fandom, even once I'm not actively writing for it, I just kind of cycle through them, so I cycle through my ships accordingly. Maybe PruCan (Hetalia), if only because they're my oldest otp??

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Well. Ideally none of them. I have every intention of eventually finishing everything I'm currently writing, hence why I refuse to post them until they're done. That said, I've been sitting on several mostly-finished fics for like three+ years without actively working on them so. We'll see.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I've been told my characterisation is really good, and I try to get as accurate a voice as I can for every character!!!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Repeating phrases and words without intending to. I used that exact word three times in like three paragraphs in a row, why am I like this!

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Two thoughts: if you know enough of the language to have proper grammar and etc sure go for it, but also, is it being used with or without translation? If no one else is supposed to understand (besides the reader), I think that's very fun and 10/10, but if the other characters are supposed to understand and it's a lengthy bit, I think there can be other more effective ways to get that across.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Phineas and Ferb, and honestly I regret deleting those fics so so much now! I have no records of my writing from back then, and yes I found them cringe as an older teenager but now I just wish I could go back and tell my 13 year old self how far we've come.

20. Favourite fic you've written?

Whatever is most recently finished. Right now that's but when i'm alone on the longest nights, i think of you and your fairy lights :)

No pressure tags:

@viraaja @steine-druff @aeriedwelling @someguywriting @astrophilic-soul and anyone else who wants to join!

[maguro13-2]

Miku.EXE Origin : The Revenge Pt.6 (1/2)

Jeff the Killer : [whistling] Ah, I can't wait to taste a mouth-watering steak when those two daughters of "Him" returns immediately . Can't say that I really wanted that awesome feeling from Doll. He's still with that egghead in his room for all these years since SEGA abandoned him in about 10 years before he became a creepypasta legend to get his revenge on the company. Hmm, haven't seen Slender Man while he's at work, I wonder if I had any calls from the guys? Maybe I best be going by now. (A person's hand pulls Jeff's ears what it appears to be Kuchisake-Onna) Ow! Ow! Ow! Hey that smarts!

Kuchisake-Onna : Didn't you forget someone, loud mouth?

[PigeonBlood OST : Funny-Funny]

Jeff the Killer : Oh, uhh, hey, Kuch'! When did you get here?

Kuchisake-Onna : I just got back from my vacation home in North Carolina, not to mention it, at least. Just wanted to drop by to seem my favorite ghost friend Hachishaku-sama.

Jeff the Killer : Can't a guy get at least have some privacy? I was going to have my favorite paper dolls created for my decorations!

Kuchisake-Onna : Oh? Is that the type you wanted to do things for you? Is it really necessary for you to talk it out? I was just hoping that you didn't look at my stuff using my pair of blood-covered scissors when I got back!

Jeff the Killer : What?! No! I was using my own pair of scissors, yours at the other room. [pulls Jeff's ears twice to cause him pain] Hey! Hey! Okay I didn't touch your stuff, okay! I just wanted to look around in your room to give me a nice pair a scissiors that are the clean ones, not the ones that are covered with blood and it has your name written on it! Please, I just wanted to borrow those pair so that next time I may have permission to use it for a while!

Kuchisake-Onna : Oh, seems fair. Okay, I may let you go off the hook. (Releases Jeff)

[scene flips]

Jeff the Killer : [with ears covered with bandages] Jeez, Kuch! Can't you be a little more aggressive, next time? You almost got my ears ripped off and I may go deaf in an instant. Anyway, what's the haps?

Kuchisake-Onna. : Oh nothing much, I was just listening some public radio about the incident that was spreading the rumors in the USA.

Jeff the Killer : What's so special about that? Didn't know about the incident in Nevada. Believe it or not, it's just those kids from a fictional town called Death City.

Kuchisake-Onna : When I heard that a Japanese girl named Tsugumi Harudori, a Shounen Protag from the Soul Eater franchise, has found a weird mysterious red ring and proclaimed that it could be a source of fortune and power, or probably it could be a use for jewelry. But when she picked it up, she was given these "strange" illusions that totally lost her mind, going nuts to a dangerous level of sanity! So after that her mental state was unable to control herself, she then...

Jeff the Killer : So...So then what?

Kuchisake-Onna : She then...She then decides to end her life of stopping her insanity by jumping off a building and immediately goes...SPLAT! She hit the ground and didn't even bounce. After that, Tsugumi Harudori was never seen again. Thus the Soul Eater franchise has officially met it's downfall. Except for Maka Albarn, the hero of that franchise, has disappeared shortly after calling quits.

[PigeonBloos OST : Night Morning]

Jeff the Killer : I heard about this. Maka Albarn haved hated her own author she reveals that the world of Soul Eater was a great big lie from the "Devil" himself, who he created DWMA leader Shinigami that proclaims to be son of the devil after witch detective Kimial Diehl showed everyone the truth. But all of that crazy stories of yours have starting to make me go hungry for a steak.

Sonic.EXE : Not the only one who got betrayed or abandoned as the "Fallen Idol".

Jeff the Killer : Ah, Mr.EXE! What a pleasant surprise for your return. How was the meeting with your friends?

Sonic.EXE : It was alright. It was one hellish meeting for a day. I had a discourd with the EXE group. So, it's not too borish and we had to discuss our family's terms. So everything's according to plan. We probably knows how this is going to be well, eventually, we heard that the Dry Bones and Mask Enemy, Phanto, has finally reclaimed the land of Nevada from the Devil's son and orders were issued with the Nevada State Government. So what brings this ever mounting crisis in the United States?

Jeff the Killer : I just got this from the daily newspaper in the state capitol Carson City. It looks like you're all slow news, you're about to be jealous from this state's front page. (Shows newspaper to the both of them)

Kuchisake-Onna : [Reading] "Former Hero of Soul World was quickly turned into a ferocious demon made of black blood called Black Beast." Are you telling me that a girl was a traitor to her own people? Like that's old news in 2011 or 2014. Well, this is the 2010s and we need to stay classy in our glory old days of legend. With Soul World manga loosing it's franchise and meeting it's end in total darkness, poor Maka Albarn has given up her life as a hero and became the demon made of black blood itself, Or I prefer the substance Ink in her body.

Jeff the Killer : You got that right. We are done with Soul Eater and never going to talk about it ever again. I'll stick to any other Japanese media franchise and I would highly recommend to the publicity of an otaku fan. Don't mention it that of course.

Kuchisake-Onna : I couldn't agree with you more of reading your silly Japanese comic books.

Sonic.EXE : Since this little conversation is a little over, I wonder how are my daughters doing fine so lately? More importantly, where are those two dear daughters of mine?...

[cuts outside to show the exterior of the Creepypasta House]

*SFX : RUMBLING*

Sonic.EXE : [yelling] ...WHAT DO YOU MEAN "THEY WENT OFF BY THEIR OWN"?!?

"Meanwhile..."

Tails.EXE : Comrade! The enemy knows that we are getting closer to where our next move might be. We commonly set up a barricade to each and one of the locations around the globe. With our strongest defense system we worked on, we can finally manage to capture our lord's faker Exeller the Hedgehog, the mysterious look-alike who seeks in the powers of "God".

Knuckles.EXE : Excellent work, my friend. But what about those two daughters of him? Zatsune and Miku.EXE?

Tails.EXE : I don't know how to put this, but according to the radar, we have confirmed that two of Master's daughters have wandered off into one of locations we barricaded. Zatsune and her sister have wandered off into the defense line, the location they're heading to was the forest!

Knuckles.EXE : What were those two thinking wandering off like that? We've got to warn master about this! But thankfully, rest assure that our dear friend Xeno is working another one from the same data that he traveled through cyberspace. Send in...Kaito.EXE.

~ LET THE WANDERING WILDNESS BEGINS ~

[babygirlbdubs]

hello, tis i: the one anon who was talking about the vote difference at my time. I heard music!!! So, i will present to you a lot of music from stuff i recently listened (most of them was pitbull cause nostalgia)

Jump in the line - Harry belefonte Fireball - Pitbull ft John Ryan Don't stop the party - Pitbull ft TJR Timber - Pitbull PRESSURE BOMB 3?!?! - Jhariah Candy Says - Anohni Found God in a Tomato - Psychedelic Prn Crumpets Wonderland - Aliceband This Year - the Mountain Goats bedroom community - glass beach hellbound - Dua Saleh Nobody - half alive i hate jurgen leitner (hit pop single) yes this is a remix of someone ranting about their most hated character pump shanty - The Mechanisms NOTHINGS NEW - rio romeo Breezy Slide - Louie Zong & BDG Sirens - The Mechanisms Monkey's Paw - Cami Cat (only on youtube i think) Work Out - Rainbow Kitten Suprise Así de grandes son las ideas - Calle 13 Inarticulation - rio romeo I am... All of Me - Crush 40 ( there are also cool covers of that by Noah McKnight & Penny Parker) Bad Romance - Halestorm (the coolest cover of one of lady gaga's song) Na Na NA - My Chemical Romance Atrevete-Te-Te - Calle 13 A Big Day For Grimley - AJJ Vamos' A Portanis Mal - Calle 13 It's Called: Freefall - Rainbow Kitten Suprise Jackrabbit San Fermin the album, its a beauty

HELLOOOO THAT'S SO MUCH MUSIC YEEESSS

i actually. yeah i know the pitbull songs for sure bc um. that was playing on the radio when i was a teen and we all knew em. there was one time when i had to clean the bathroom and so i put on the radio on my ipod nano and i stg every like. 10 minutes they played timber. i think i could still recite the lyrics. (this is not /neg it's just such a core memory it's so funny to me)

i couldn't find candy says by anohni? found one by the velvet underground but idk if that's the right one, so if u have a link to it i'll add it :]

big vouch for this year by the mountain goats. it's on my playlist for bad days bc it always makes me feel better

HALF ALIVE HALF ALIVE HALF ALIVE HALF ALIVE (goes insane) me, tuna, and laurie all sat in call and did a listening party when the new album came out and cried the whole way through. album very special to me <3

THAT SAN FERMIN ALBUM <33333 the woods makes me insANE

i've added a buuunch of these to the playlist omg tysm aaaaaAAAAA

[1d1195]

sam, sam, sammmmm. it’s been a hot minute. im still out of the country, wifi is terrible, i am even more so. HAHA. BUT I MISS GETTING ON HERE AND TALKING WITH YOUUU😭😭😭 but thank goodness because i finally got free time to binge read all the one shots and series you’ve posted (except Honey, it’s the only one left and i’m going to wake up tomorrow and start because i KNOW im going to eat that up) AND ITS BEEN SO MUCH FUN SO THANK YOU SO MUCH.

can i just say how absolutely awesome it is that you run this account and you share all this with us? honestly i don’t even read your summaries anymore because i genuinely know that if you wrote it, ill love it. not even kidding.

SAMANTHA I JUST READ MOST AND YOU WERE SO RIGHT😭😭😭 I WOULDVE DIED IF I HAD TO WAIT FOR THAT😭😭😭 BUT OMGGGG MY HEART LITERALLY HURT SOOOOO BAD READING THAT STORY BUT IT WAS SOOOO GOOD. i was worried cause i remembered all the lauren hate mail but HONESTLY??? I WAS EXPECTING WORSE. I WAS SOOOOO SCARED SHE WAS GOING GET WITH HARRY I WOULDVE THROWN MY PHONE. she was just a jealous bitch, whatever.

the traditional blurb? and then the EXTRA traditional blurb??? BAHSHJEUSHAUAS HOTTTTT. I LOVE THEM🥹

the “heaven is a place on earth” cover is SOOO good, better believe it’s going straight to the clean up playlist. I HAVE A FEW SONGS TO SHARE AS WELL !!! “tenenbaum” by the paper kites - “sweet heat lightning” by gregory alan isakov - “hope” james bay

life is soooo ughhh. there’s something wrong with me, i dunno. please tell me you’re faring better, how’s life ? what’s new ? tell me everything ! love you lots <3333

~🎶

AHHHHHH!!!!! HIIIIIIII!!!!!!! I've missed you so much! Bad wifi is the worst! I figured you were still traveling but it's so good to hear from you!!!! Probs for the best you saved Honey as well, you'll see 😭 I think I got 15 messages for one of the parts. I hope you enjoy 💕

YOU'RE SO SWEET I COULD CRY 😭 I love this blog more than anything tbh. It's so nice to be here and write stuff but it's even nicer that you (and others) enjoy it and let me know that you do 😭 thank God for one direction, am I right?

I hate Lauren (although not as much as some of you 🤭) I briefly toyed with Harry dating but I don't think I could make him date Lauren. Maybe someone else. But Lauren would have been too much I think I'm glad you loved the story overall even if your heart hurt!

Traditional is always a safe bet, I think. I'm glad you loved them too! 💕

Okay listening to Paper Kites but they sing that other song I mentioned to you before so I'm VERY ready to listen to this song 10000 times in a row. (I'm listening to it right now, and I'm loving it thus far). I'm always here for a Gregory Alan Isakov song as well. James Bay for me is about 50-50 but I'll give him a fighting chance (I def heard Let It Go one too many times on the radio back in the day so I'm biased--isn't it weird though? I'M allowed to play the song over and over but the RADIO should NEVER.)

There's nothing wrong with you. Life IS soooo ughh. I'm doing alright. I feel like my energy is off and I'm not sure why (probs $$ related). I feel less stressed than I have in years which is nice, but in a constant state of being busy. Work is good overall! Which is like a HUGE load off my back. Otherwise, just trying to enjoy the little things every day so I don't become filled with existential dread 🙃 I don't have too much new going on. I'm one of those people who shift their closet from spring/summer to fall/winter (and back) so I did that over this past weekend and basically I never need to go shopping ever again (but also I have coupons so what am I supposed to do? Not use FREE MONEY!?) I'm SO obsessed with coffee it's borderline unhealthy but Gilmore Girls says it's fine so it is what it is. I need to start reading again. I've been rereading the same scene of "who did this to you" from what of my books just to feel something and I cannot move on. I mentioned it in an ask to my 💜-anon, but I straight up have two book-boyfriends right now and I'm literally so in love with them it's probs unhealthy as the coffee addiction. I have a wedding to go to this month which I'm not really looking forward to. October is SO busy and I feel like I'm rushing through this message but I am trying my HARDEST to finish a one-shot update for Thursday 😭

Anyway.

TELL ME ALL ABOUT YOU AND YOUR TRIP. Tell me everything as well! What has you thinking life is so ughhh?

MISSED YOU SO MUCH!!! LOVE YOU 💕

xoxo

[medicinemane]

Jesus fucking christ, so I just watched the original Beetlejuice (which upon rewatch I still think is a really good movie) and then I went to watch the new one cause I kinda heard it wasn't great but it was more of the same and... ok, sure I could go for that

It's not, it sucks. I'm 14 minutes in and... it's just awful

The cinematography is shit, like something about the lighting or the camera or something is wrong and so much worse than the first one. It just looks worse, and in part it's probably how crisp it is but... it just feels bad

The writing hasn't been at all good so far. Like the writing wasn't very good to start with, and then they get to the otherside and somehow it got significantly worse

To compare pretty one to one, in the first movie they look at this room of tormented souls and a janitor character comes over and says those are spirits that have been exorcised (poor bastards) and it's best to keep moving

In this one a guy randomly falls down a manhole and dies, for some reason winds up in that same hall, asks the janitor in French where to go, is begrudgingly told, the janitor mutters how he hates foreigners, goes and drinks cleaning supplies drooling them down his chin, then goes and has his floor buffer explode on a puddle

Do you get the total tonal difference?

Plus, then it goes into a Bee Gees song while this woman staples herself back together and that feels so... modern movie (and the cgi is just... awful on it... oh, it's almost like the practical effects of the original looked really good cause the lady that's sawn in half is clearly two people poking out from a couch with cleaver prop work to make it look good)

Like the original had Harry Belafonte songs and original music and that was pretty much it, and all the songs were either on the radio or being used during possessions to make people sing them

This... they just have a fucking song playing as something happens, and again... it just feels like modern schlock, the same crap repackaged with a different ip

Not to mention that the afterlife stuff feels at total odds with the way it was in the first one

Again, 14 minutes in and I dislike it enough I have to come bitch, doubtful I'll like it more later. I expected a like... 60% movie that I'd be like "well... it wasn't great but it was neat to see more Michael Keaton being a weirdo"... like the new Independence Day wasn't very good but I kinda like it anyway, I expect that

This is just bad, and Winona Ryder is doing great at recapturing her character but as an adult... but she's like... a ghost hunter scammer with an estranged kid? Way to Naruto that shit, everyone loves seeing characters they like be washed up failures, no one complains about that trope (for being lazy more than anything else)

Over time I've come to the conclusion Tim Burton sucks and slaps his name on better people's work... and I was worried seeing his name on it, but honestly the opening credits were good so I had hope

The opening credits do the same thing as the original but a new version and it worked... Danny Elfman at least didn't screw up and managed to do a new take on the old theme... it's not better or anything, but it feels like a remix that upped the stakes just a tiny bit... him and Winona Ryder are the only two who seem to understand the assignment so far (the mother made a return, but... her writing was so bad and her scene so short I can't really tell yet if she's doing just as good a job as before... she probably is)

Boo... boo, this is ass. This is worse than I ever would have thought based off what I'd heard

Expect me to really start skipping but also to complain more

(Oh, and then staple lady sucked the life out of the janitor, something we've never seen before, and he crumpled like a soda can... which looked stupid... just get Michael Keaton on screen and let him be weird, that's what I watched Birdman for, that's the only parts of Homecoming I watch... he's entertaining at being odd and that's the only thing I could see being good in this movie)

[bisluthq]

https://www.tumblr.com/bisluthq/757777034966712320/my-swiftie-fandom-comes-in-like-a-waves-i-got?source=share

16-year-old anon from earlier, and yeah, same! If you'll allow me to rant for a minute (though I may have already done so in the past) here is MY experience as a Taylor Swift fan over the years:

First remember being aware of who she is around Red/1989. I think the first song I heard was IKYWT and it was on the radio. From that point I would find any Taylor-related content on YouTube. This included music videos, interviews, parodies, the occasional bit of gossip (the only tidbit I remember pre-rep was Calvin at the Massage place that gave happy endings😭), and of course, speed-up versions of her songs because this was pre her adding her catalogue BACK to streaming, not that I WAS streaming at age 7, but yk.

I had a vague knowledge of some of her boyfriends. I knew Harry (duh) and Calvin (also kind of duh) and Joe Jonas. I knew of the Jonas Brothers (mainly cause of the purity ring jokes, which if we're being fr is their main legacy) and I also knew he did Cake By The Ocean which was EVERYWHERE circa 2016. I don't think I knew he'd dated Taylor, though. I think I also only found out about Hiddles and that whole circus around Rep.

Around 2015ish i saw a 1989 CD at Target and asked my mum to buy it. I then got a Red CD soon after. Cut to 2016/2017, Taylor's music isn't being played on the radio, and my 9(?) year old self is sad and confused. I knew nothing of the #taylorswiftisoverparty. I just knew they weren't playing her music anymore. Cut to 2017 - i, alongside the rest of the world, sat and watched the LWYMMD music video. I also remember watching the lyric video and being scared by the snake😭

After this, I tried very hard to listen to rep in full, but had no idea where to find it. One night, I was a scrolling on YT and found Delicate (or Dress), and then came across Better Than Revenge. My 9/10 year old self was SCANDALISED and VERY confused, as I had never seen the Speak Now album cover in. my. life. and thought she had already put out an album. Anyway, sometime between the release of Rep & Lover, I stopped seeking stuff out. When the Lover singles came out I hated ALL of them. From memory, ME! felt like a personal violation (I was BIG into PAN!C at the time, and hated that the song was so ass - though, in retrospect, the stuff of theirs (later work. Very little early stuff) that I listened to was objectively worse), Lover (song) was boring, and You Need To Calm Down made me viscerally angry due to me starting to realise I was not straight and desperately trying to believe I was wrong. I did not seek out Lover the way I had done Rep and was, at this point, a genuine anti.

Then folklore came out and people RAVED about it, so I decided to check it out. I liked it, but didn't click with it in the way other people had. It did inspire me to check out her back catalogue + rep/Lover. By the time evermore dropped I was IN IT, and I became even more in it upon hearing evermore. I got very involved in fandom culture (also got very into Glee... you can imagine what the combination inspired in 13 year old me), until around 2022, when I began being frustrated with Taylor’s jets and perfomatitive activism. I once again went anti (I also got very into Stranger Things around this time, specifically Max... played by Sadie Sink... Taylor Swift is the only constant in this world). Then, she reeled me back in with the Midnights marketing campaign. Once again, I was there the second it dropped (as I have been for all of her releases since evermore). WCS broke my brain (as right where you left me had the year prior) and I had no choice but to go FULL swiftie. And since then I've maintained it pretty solidly.

That's about it. If you've read through to here, thank you🙏 hopefully you found it interesting/somewhat entertaining.

that’s fair! It’s okay to like stuff more at certain stages and super fucking normal of you xx

I will also say that some of the stuff I say on here is probably not super age appropriate for my younger anons lol but at the same time I do try to be cognizant of y’all and idk it’s real life so I also try not to encourage people to do stupid shit. *I* have done stupid shit but that doesn’t mean you guys should. I do sometimes worry I glamorize like unhealthy behaviors and I hope y’all have the sense not to do a lot of the shit that I’ve done 💀

[clean-bands-dirty-stories]

The Night We Met ~ P.P (2)

A/n: The second and final part! Hope you like, I added the tiniest bit of fluff right at the end because I’ma fucking SUCKER and struggle to not make things have at least semi happy endings lmao. Don’t know if I mentioned, but the song is “The Night We Met” by Lord Huron

WARNINGS: guilt, death (mentioned), PTSD from gwen’s death, violence, not really a happy ending tbh hella bittersweet

Word Count: 6100+

MASTERLIST

When the night was full of terrors and your eyes were filled with tears. When you had not touched me yet. Oh, take me back to the night we met.

“Hey, Peter.”

When he looked over, responding to the light greeting, he didn’t know who exactly he expected. He did not expect it to be one of Y/n’s friends though. They all hated Peter, and had only recently stopped glaring at him in the hallway. This person, who’s name he couldn’t remember because he had never spent much time with any of them, had been the one to give him the leats amount of shit, but all of them had avoided him at the ver least. They didn’t talk to him unless they wanted to cause a problem, and this person didn’t seem angry or anything like that. They seemed like they were actually trying to be extra nice, extra gentle. Maybe hiding something, or because they were anxious?

“Hi,” he answered slowly, unsure.

They smiled. “I’m Miley - I don’t know if you remember me?”

Ah, yes, he recalled. He remembered Y/n mentioning her the most. She was the nicest, the most gentle. Y/n’s best friend. “Enough, yeah. What’s up?”

The girl white knuckled the books she had in her grip, arms crossed over them as she pressed them tightly to her chest. “I don’t mean to bother you, I just have asked everyone else I can think of and I don’t know who else to turn to.”

What? “Uh… are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Miley dismissed. “I was actually wondering if you’d seen Y/n around? If they had come to you about anything… They had been talking about trying to talk to you, to try and get answers or just tell you that they’d forgiven you for everything that had happened. Apparently they ran into Spider-Man and had some kind of talk, after-” She suddenly cut off, swallowing thickly.

“After?” Peter pressed.

Miley looked up at him with wide, worried eyes. “Some guy tried to jump them. Spider-Man saved them. They came to my room to talk to me about it, really emotional and stuff. But then they insisted on going home, even though we had stayed up quite late. And I was tired, I didn’t think about it-”

Peter’s heart picked up. “What are you saying, Miley?”

She swallowed. “I went back to their dorm after they missed school yesterday. They weren’t there. They didn’t show up for work yesterday either. I spent the night - they didn’t come back. They didn’t come to school today either. The others are all away until this weekend, but I texted them and they haven't heard anything weird about Y/n. I was hoping they might have gone to your place and just… gotten caught up or something.”

Ah, she’d thought they’d had sex.

Had hoped.

Because if Y/n wasn’t with him…

“Have you gone to the police yet?”

“I’m going after school today. I don’t know if they can do much though - there’s not much to go off of. They’re just missing without a trace. I… I don’t know. I wish I could just talk to Spider-Man, you know? Ask what he told them. What got through to them so much.”

The irony of such a wish, as she spoke to Peter right now. “I know what you mean. Go to the cops, they’ll do what they can. Spider-Man usually has a knack with picking up on what they’re doing if it's really important. Maybe he’ll hear. Maybe he has an in, or a police radio or something.”

She nodded, taking a deep breath. Then she smiled at him. “Thank you, Peter.” He nodded and she turned away, heading to class. They only had one left in the day. He had been her last resort.

He wasn’t going to be waiting for the end of the day.

He left school, returning to his own room to change before swinging over to Y/n’s room. The windows were easy to wedge open as long as they were unlocked, and he knew for a fact that Y/n kept their window unlocked. They still did, which he was glad for as he eased himself through and into the room. He had to work fast. There weren't many good, working cameras on campus but if someone heard him in here he’d be caught. He wanted to get this done before class ended in an hour.

Which meant he had a good amount of time, but not forever.

Unfortunately, whatever he thought he would be able to find in that hour, he had been wrong. Miley had been right - there wasn’t anything odd or out of place. There didn’t seem to be a sign or a note or anything. It was like her room was waiting for her to come home any minute. He felt almost like Y/n would walk through the door and jump out of their skin when they saw Spider-man in their room and the window open in the background.

He didn’t move around a lot of things, not wanting it to seem like their place had been ransacked. He didn’t want to put evidence there that hadn’t been there. It wouldn’t help the investigation. Also, there was a part of him that wanted it to be all for nothing. That wanted Y/n to come home any minute, and for everything to be where they had left it. So they could unwind and relax and not have to worry about anything else.

When he heard kids in the hall, Peter sighed to himself before turning to the window again to leave.

That was when he saw it. It was a single letter, carved into the wood of the window sill. On the inside, where it had been blocked before when it had been closed. It looked fresh - which meant it hadn’t been put in by Y/n after Peter had stopped coming over. He knew for a fact that it hadn’t been here then - he would have noticed it. It was pretty large, the length of his entire pinky finger. Thin, but tall, and very familiar.

It was an F, with the place that connected the line downward to the top line across curved. He had seen it a hundred times on the Fisk Industries building.

Peter tried not to jump to conclusions. Y/n had never had anything that would have interested Fisk. They were far from any kind of felonies. They weren’t rich, they didn’t have any kind of connections. He tried to wrack his brain, and it just didn’t make sense. He even bit his lip before tip toeing very softly around the room, keeping an eye out this time for anything that connect Y/n to Fisk. There was nothing,

Well, that was until he ran his hand under Y/n’s pillow. There was a paper there. He had been looking for hidden letters or a diary or something, and instead pulled out a single piece of paper with two words on it.

For Spider-Man.

It could have easily been dismissed as a fan letter that Y/n had started. There was no other papers attached to it, and nothing else on the back. Just those two words. In fact, if he hadn’t seen the carving on the window sill he wouldn’t have even put together that the writing was one hundred percent one he had seen on every single one of William Fisks’ documents. It was his hand exactly, looping the letters exactly how Peter had seen the man’s signature done a hundred, if not a thousand or even a million, times.

He had absolutely no idea why, but Y/n had a note that Fisk had signed to Spider-Man. It wasn’t much, but it was a lead.

Peter checked all of Fisk’s known hiding place, and then checked all of the places Fisk Industries had touched. It took him half the day but he finally got a call from his friend in the police force - Officer Yuri Watanabe. She gave him a head’s up on a missing person’s case they’d just recieved, with all of the information he had dug up as well. The note, and nothing else. They did miss the carving ont he window sill, but he wasn’t surprised. If they didn’t open it - and there was no reason for anyone other than himself to - they wouldn’t have. They didn’t pin the handwriting, but assumed what he thought they would - that it was a fan letter. She thought he’d want to know that this fan of his was writing him a letter.

He knew better.

Yuri was able to help him a little bit though. They had questioned a few people and someone had said that they had seen Y/n the night they had gone missing. Someone had been with them, walking through the building and into their room. The person had dismissed it, even though they hadn’t recognized the person with Y/n, because they had been talking about Spider-Man. They had assumed Y/n had found a fellow fan or something.

Y/n’s friends seemed to think that made sense. They were apparently a huge fan of Spider-Man and talked about him often. When they annoyed their friends, they’d find other people who wanted to talk about him instead. They had even called into Jameson’s podcast to have a debate with him about Spider-Man and had done so well that they’d been hung up on because Jameson didn’t have any arguments for them and they were making him look bad.

How Peter had missed all of this, he had no idea, but it touched him deeply.

“I don’t know, they seem to have a lot of love for you. I know a lot of people have… stopped showing it if they do. I thought you’d want to know.”

Peter nodded, even though she couldn’t see him. “I did. Thank you, Yuri.”

“Of course. If you get any info you’ll call me, right? You haven’t been doing that recently and honestly - I didn’t even think you’d answer my call.” He could hear the edge to her voice. The worry, too. Even she could tell he had been struggling. Wonderful.

“I will.” He hesitated, landing on a roof across the next Fisk building he was going to check. “I found a carving on the window sill. Before you yell at me, yes I did get in there before you and look around and yes I already did know. I’ve been following a lead all day. There was a carved letter f in the window sill. It looks like the Fisk Industry f, and the handwriting on the notes matches the man himself. I don’t know if Y/n stole the letter, or if it was left behind for me, but somehow Fisk is connected to this. Have you seen any movement from him recently?”

Yuri took a beat. He heard her release a breath, and he realized that it was one of relief. “I can look into that. Give me a minute and I’ll call you back.”

“Yeah okay.” He ended the call and then checked that his phone was on silent. He always kept it on silent, but if he knew for a fact he was going to get a call then he definitely did not want it to be an opportunity for his cover to be blown.

It was easy to get into the building and then check around through the vents. It was something he had done a dozen times today, and a hundred times before that. Unfortunately, in this building, there was a room the vents didn’t lead into. At least, not vents he could find or fit into. Which means he had to check from any vantage point he could - from the outside. When he saw that the very same room that had only one entrance was also guarded by six very large men, he knew that something very important was going on in there. Even if it didn’t have to do with Y/n, there was no way that Fisk needed that many men for anything other than keeping Spider-Man out specifically. Which meant it was something he needed to stop.

It was a slow but easy process. Lure one of the guys away from the door, into the hall where no one could see them. Web the guy and pull him into the vent or rafter, web him up so he couldn’t make a sound but could still breathe, move on. It was reminiscent of the way he used to be. Recently he had been very aggressive and hadn’t done much sneaking. This… was nice.

Unfortunately, the quickly disappearing numbers had alerted the guards that someone was here. One of the guys said something into a  walkie talkie, and Peter hadn’t been able to stop him in time.

Fisk knew he was here.

He didn’t exactly know where he was though, so Peter tried to use that to his advantage.

When the last guys were dealt with, he dropped own in front of the door and pressed his ear against the wood. He strained his ear, but either the room was sound proofed or this door was just very thick - he couldn’t make much out other than what sounded like maybe one, maybe two voices. Maybe someone on the phone. One of them sounded a lot like Fisk, but Peter was surprised by that. If there was a second voice, it was even more muffled. The person could be gagged, or on a phone, or just talking a lot quieter. Peter sighed. He’d just have to get in there. He couldn’t tell where the people were, or what the layout of the room was. He’d just have to blast in there and act fast and then hope it worked out for him.

So that’s what he did.

The doors banged open, lighter than he thought they’d be. To be fair, his adrenaline was high and he wasn’t controlling his strength as much as he probably should have been. When they hit the wall, he was pretty sure they didn’t move again because the knobs imbedded into the walls. He didn’t have time to check though - he needed to pay very close attention to what was going on.

The room was empty. Well, almost. In the very center stood Fisk, facing the door, gun in hand. The barrel was pressed to the back of the head of someone in front of him, who sat on a chair - tied up and blind folded. Not gagged like he had thought, but looking rough around the edges. Like they had been hit a few times maybe, or just been treated roughly. The clothes they wore and the way their head sagged forward didn’t allow him to see much.

He could, however, tell it was Y/n.

Peter froze, unprepared for such a set up. He had nothing to throw at Fisk, and wouldn’t be able to web Y/n away before Fisk pulled the trigger. All Peter could do was glare at the large man. Not that Fisk could see that.

Despite not being able to see Peter’s reaction to the situation, a smile grew on Fisk’s face like he knew exactly what situation he had put Peter in. “Hello, Spider-Man. Why don’t we have a little chat?”

I had all and then most of you, some and now none of you. Take me back to the night we met. I don't know what I'm supposed to do, haunted by the ghost of you…

Peter couldn’t breathe.

He had tried very, VERY hard to keep Y/n away from any kind of situation like this. He had tried to keep himself from going through this again too. Because now, all he could see was Harry and Gwen, and he was having a hard time focusing on what Fisk was saying.

“I’m so glad you found my little bread crumbs. I wasn’t quite sure if you’d be able. We don’t know exactly how smart you are, you see. How observant, or if you’d have even been able to get in the room. I thought you might out of costume, but if you went in and looked around that way then you wouldn’t have had to take the window, so you would have missed my very important clue.”

Peter took deep breaths. “Why would I be in their room out of costume?”

Fisk shrugs. “You know, I don’t know. I don’t even know if you two know each other, so don’t stress yourself out too much.” Peter tried not to make his relief too obvious. If Fisk had known who Peter was, it would have been a much, much worse situation. “But one of my men a while back ran into them, and was thinking of getting some money.” he rolled his eyes. “New guys, am I right? Good thing for me though, because he tells me that you got very protective of this one. Almost killed him for them. Big thing, since you don’t kill.”

Peter shrugged. “I’ve been grumpy recently.”

Fisk’s smile grew. “He banters again!”

Peter kept waiting for an opportune moment. For Fisks’s grip to relax, or for Y/n to move in a way that made it just safe enough. Every time Y/n moved, Fisk followed though, and his grip stayed steely. Peter had thought the talking might distract him, but it only seemed to work in Fisks’ favor. He wasn’t even remotely off focus, and Peter was beginning to stress more and more ever so slowly. “What, missed me?”

That made Fisk snort in amusement. “Actually, I wish I would see less of you. So here’s what I was thinking. I can kill your little friend here, who so obviously means a lot to you - especially after that cute little heart to heart you two had, whether or not you know each other out of the mask - or!” Y/n didn’t react at all to what Fisk had just said and Peter wondered if they were unconscious. “Or, you can turn yourself in. Take the mask off and let me kill you instead. I won’t hurt whoever else you might care about - you’re my problem, and you’ll be nice and handled, so I won’t need to care about your identity. And anyway, once you’re dead I can take it off anyway. So there’s really no point in arguing.”

Peter wasn’t exactly gearing up to fight him, but Fisk being so dismissive and blazé did take it out of him. He tried to think of a way out fo this, his head swimming with how he would just go missing. Or maybe Fisk would tell everyone who he was. He thought of Y/n knowing that the man they loved had died in front of them, and they had been unconscious and helpless. Even worse - that he had died for them. He thought of Otto never seeing his intern again. Jameson - as much of a nuisance as he was when Peter was Spider-Man, losing an employee he had been quite kind to when it mattered. Finding out that employee was someone he had dragged time and time again, misunderstood and betrayed. He wondered if Jameson’s mind would change when Peter was dead, or if he wouldn’t care. He thought of people he hadn’t thought of in a very long time, like Flash Thompson, finding out that the guy he had bullied was his hero. Thought of all of Y/n’s friends, who hated Peter, who might now understand why he had done what he had done. He wondered what Miley would think, finding out she had been talking to Spider-Man when she had told Peter what was going on, and that it had lead to his death.

He thought about Aunt May.

Oh, god.

Hadn’t she been through enough?

Just as Peter was truly beginning to mourn, suddenly Y/n jolted to action. They slipped away from Fisk, rolling to the side and planting their heels where his dick was. Fisk was bent double, dropping the gun in shock as he caught himself from falling to his knees by gripping the chair. The ropes had been cut and Y/n was gripping a piece of glass. They rolled again, grabbing for the gun. Peter panicked and webbed it to the wall. Seeing that was no longer an option, Y/n didn’t miss a beat to turn instead to the chair, ripping it out from under Fisk who fell hard on the ground. They raised the chair high, bringing it down on the very large, very sturdy man they now stood underneath.

Peter was astounded.

He struggled to fight Fisk and he had super strength and agility. He had an ability that allowed for long range attacks and mobility. Even then, he had almost died fighting the man several times. And yet, here was this person without a lick of extra power, going full send with a kick to the balls followed by slamming him with a chair.

They weren’t pulling punches either. It was like they knew what Fisk was capable of, and were trying to knock him unconscious before he could get to his feet and start being a problem. Peter wouldn’t have been surprised if they had known Fisk was a lot more durable than most people were… but still. They hit with a ferocity he had never seen from them. There was anger, but fear too. It clicked that they had been awake the whole time. That even as Fisk stopped moving, Y/n didn’t stop hitting him as hard as they could with the chair. That they were slamming the legs of the chair into his head over and over again.

It hit him like a train to realize they were trying to kill Fisk.

Peter rushed forward, grabbing the top of the chair to try and stop them. “Whoa, whoa whoa.” They looked up at him, and he realized they were crying. “Hey… it’s okay. It’s okay.” He tugged lightly on the chair and their death grip loosened immediately. He threw the bent thing to the side, pulling them into his arms. They broke down, beginning to sob hysterically. “You’re okay, it’s okay. You did so well, Y/n. Thank you. I’m so sorry you had to do that.” He spoke to them gently, his voice coming out strained and airy. He couldn’t catch his breath. “You’re safe now.”

“Are you safe?”

The question took him off guard, and he fell quiet for a few beats. “Yeah,” he finally responded. “I’m safe. We both are.” He swallowed the lump in his throat. Or, tried to. It didn’t move. “We’d be safer if I webbed him up though. Would that be okay?” They nodded, leaning away from him. They turned their back to him, wiping their eyes and composing themself as Peter webbed Fisk up and called Yuri. When he finished the call and turned back around, Y/n was facing him.

“The police are coming?” Peter nodded in answer to their question. “So you have to leave. Since, technically, you’re a vigilante and therefore not the police’s favorite person.”

“They’d have to arrest me, yeah,” Peter confirmed.

Y/n mulled over that for only a few seconds. “Let me come with you.” He went to argue but they interrupted him. “I know they probably need my statement or whatever, but I’m in shock and you’re the closest person I have who feels like. Actually safe and just-” They closed their eyes. “I have friends, but they’re not the same. Even Miley… they don’t get it. They don’t understand what’s going in our world. What you do for us. I’m safer with you, and I really need someone who gets it, who I can also feel safe with.”

Peter pursed his lips. “I’m not safe, Y/n. You were in this situation because of me.” In all his nightmares he had never imagined Y/n would be the one to save the day. If anything, he was safer with them. If not for their fast acting, this situation would have gone very differently. Peter had given up too easily, too muddled to think of anything other than the fact that Y/n was in danger. How could they have gone through all of that and still want to be around him?

Then again, Gwen had made the same decision, hadn’t she?

Y/n moved closer to Peter, just a few steps. “I… You’re not dangerous. You’re a hero. You’re my hero. You’re amazing.” They crossed their arms over their chest. “You have dangerous enemies, because you actively put yourself in harm’s way for the benefit of everyone else. I couldn’t have done what I just did without you. I just did what you always do. You… deserve to know that you’re good, Spider-Man. You’re safe. You’re wonderful.”

Peter felt torn.

His decision was made when he heard the sirens. Knowing they’d be up here soon and he was out fo time, he didn’t have time to think. He only had time to feel. And he knew what he wanted, if he put all logic aside.

“Okay, but we have to go out the window. Hold on tight, alright?” They nodded, moving around to grip his back. For good measure, he webbed the palms of their hands to the front of his suit. He had some solvent in his pocket - he would unstick them later. For now, they were much safer this way. Then he waited for them to wrap their legs around his waist before he moved to grab the chair and move out of the room, to the lobby where there was a window. He threw the chair through the window to break it, preventing any glass from having to fall near Y/n if he had just jumped out like he usually did. They wouldn’t have been protected by his suit like he was.

Yuri entered with her force as Peter was readying himself to jump out the window.

“What the hell?”

Y/n and Peter looked over. Y/n giggled in Peter’s ear and, despite himself, he found himself unable to fight just the smallest of smiles as well. “I’ll come and give my statement later - I promise!” Then Peter took off running, jumping out the window.

Take me back to the night we met.

Y/n screamed behind him, voice almost lost in the wind as they hooted and hollered. He was thrilled to realize it was shouts of joy instead of fear. They pressed their head into his neck as he reached out to shoot a web, preparing for the jolt as they transitioned from falling to swinging. Fortunately, it was a lot smoother than they were predicting so there really wasn’t a jolt at all. He was impressed they thought of that though, and took that precaution.

Swinging with someone else was a little weird, but also amazing. He could share the things he loved about being up here with someone else. Show the sights, and feel the feelings. The entire time, with Y/n pressed into his back enjoying every single second of it.

He instinctively took them to the top of the Empire State Building. It had always been his favorite place, and he had spent a lot of time there recently. So when he pulled to a stop, Y/n at his side, it was almost routine to plop down on the edge and take in the view.

What was not routine was having Y/n sit down right next to him, as if this was just another Monday. They had one leg over their edge, unlike Peter’s two legs, and a smile on their face. “God, that’s fucking amazing, isn’t it?”

Peter smiled, closing his eyes. The heaviness and darkness that he had been feeling had faded. The hole that had been in his existence, where Y/n had been, was filled again. And maybe he was still a little hopped up on the adrenaline of the previous situation and how he thought he was going to die but is now alive. Maybe that had something to do with it too. “Yeah, it is.”

They were quiet for a while. The usual city noises of New York had gone very quiet from this height, muted into background white noise. The lights were nice, but not overwhelming. It all looked lighter and easier up here. It felt that way too.He could take a breath, relax. Let his muscles untense, and his mind clear. He leaned back on his hands, looking up at the sky. It was sunset now, and from where he was sitting he could see the whole sky as it light up and exploded with color from every direction.

After a long time of just enjoying the moment to collect their thoughts, and letting all the feeling sink in and all of the shock wear off, Y/n finally spoke again. They spoke first on purpose - Peter waited for them to initiate when they were ready, in case they needed to cry again.

They didn’t cry. They just whispered, very quietly and weakly, “Thank you.”

“I really didn’t do anything other than show up,” he reminded them gently.

Y/n nodded. “Not everyone does.” They looked up at him. “But that’s not what I meant. I meant, about stopping me. Thank you. I would have killed him, if I could have.”

Peter nodded. He had noticed. “Call us even. You stopped me a few days ago.”

That seemed to be acceptable for Y/n. They turned to look at the city, crossing their arms and leaning against their knee - the one they had propped up - to overlook the city. “Is it always like that? Fighting bad guys, I mean.”

He shrugged. “Honestly I don’t know what it was like for you. I think fighting is different for everyone, and you were untrained and in a very stressful situation. A lot of luck went into that. And some planning too. It was equally both actually, which is usually not the case in most fights. After a while you get the vibes of each person you go up against. You don’t need luck as much - you can plan for a lot more; people are predictable like that.”

“I see.” They seemed eased by that answer, and Peter wondered if they had been worried about him again.

God, he hated this. There was so much he wanted to say. So much he wanted to do. This interaction didn’t feel fair. Y/n looked up to him, after he hurt them and lied to them. But if he told them, he might ruin the image of him they had. Would that be a terrible thing to do? Should he be honest or should he let them dream?

It just felt… wrong. To lie. To let them keep looking up to him and admiring him. Worrying about him. Thanking him. He had done wrong to them. They deserved to know who they were having this moment with.

Peter sighed. “I have to tell you something.” They looked over as he reached up, yanking off his mask. Their eyes went wide and they froze. “Um. So. Yeah. Hi.” He swallowed, feeling the safety he had been feeling a moment ago slip away. The first person who had known since Gwen… since her father…

Fuck.

To his surprise, Y/n smiled. “Of course. The two men I love most in the whole world are one and the same. It’s only right.” They reached up, going to stroke his face.

He leaned away from the touch. “Y/n, I hurt you.”

“You did,” Y/n agreed. Their hand dropped and they sighed. “But you did it to protect me. And realizing that - and that all this time, all the missed study sessions were you being a hero? That just makes me love you even more.” They flinched and then looked away. “Sorry, I didn’t mean-”

This time, he couldn’t stop himself. “I love you too.” They looked back at him in a mix of surprise, but also like they had almost been expecting him to say that. Like they had known how he felt, but didn’t expect him to know it too. And, honestly, that tracked. “How are you taking all of this in stride?”

Y/n smiled a little, eyes drifting to look back at the city. “Honestly, it makes so much sense. It just made me… get it. Like I finally had the piece of the puzzle that I was missing. That, maybe I knew, but I didn’t really know. Like I knew it subconsciously. That’s why I didn’t mind when you kissed me, or when it was so easy to be honest and intimate with you. How I felt that I loved you, from the very second you saved me in that alleyway and stopped when I touched you like that’s all you needed to make all that aggression and rage melt away. Like I soothed you. And… you soothed me too. It makes sense now why I wanted to be around you more than anyone else. It’s been you, Peter. For so long.”

Peter looked at his hands in his lap. “This is such a mess.”

Y/n actually laughed at that. “Yeah, it really is.”

It was quiet for a while again. “So what now?” He asked.

Once again, Y/n sighed, this time letting the air come out long and slow through their nose.”Are you going to put your hero complex down and let us have any kind of relationship, or…?”

That made Peter think about all of the things that had been kicking the shit out of him recently. He frowned. “I don’t know if I can. I… I haven’t been completely honest about how Gwen died. I couldn’t be.”

Y/n’s eyes widened. “Did one of your nemesis kill her?”

Peter nodded. “Goblin. He was… my best friend at the time. Some things happened to him. It’s a long story.”

“Holy shit,” Y/n whispered.

“Yeah,” Peter agreed. He felt suddenly exhausted. He was tired of being alone and being sad and being haunted. He was tired of being lost and full of guilt and self hate. He was tired of being angry and bitter. He was tired of flashbacks and nightmares and ruining his relationships with friends and romantic possibilities both. He was tired of this. Of all of it.

Peter felt Y/n take his hand, interlacing their fingers. “Honestly, Peter, you really did hurt me. You left me. I… Even if you were ready for another relationship, I don’t think I would be. What if we just… stayed friends? You can have a confidante, who knows the truth. Someone you can go to for help. For advice. For patching up. And we can just keep a relationship. That’s all I want, honestly. I want you in my life. I miss my tutor, and my friend. And it would be super awesome to be friends with Spider-Man.”

They were trying to joke, but Peter rose an eyebrow. “You couldn’t tell anyone.”

They shrugged. “I don’t care. I just admire you and what you do and who you are. You help me. You saved my life, and I saved yours. I want to keep doing that with you. Every hero needs a guy in the chair, right?”

Peter hesitated, but a very very small smile worked its way onto his face anyway. “We’d have to take it slow. I’m not used to having people around. Not since Gwen and Harry. I told Gwen’s dad too and he also died. I sort of have a reputation.”

Y/n nodded immediately. “I get it. If you need some space or time, take it. Fresh start, just friends. I’m having to get to know you all over again anyway. And I have to learn how to trust you again. Might as well just pretend this is the first time we’ve met. Well, not completely, but you get what I mean.”

Peter nodded. “Yeah, I do.”

They smiled, holding up their hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Peter Parker. Spider-Man. Science genius. I’m Y/n. Wanna be friends?”

He took their hand, and that broken, dark, ugly little thing inside of him finally became a little bit more bearable. A little bit better, even. “It’s an honor. I can’t wait to get to know you better.”

Y/n dropped his hand, then leaned their forehead against his shoulder. “Likewise.”

They fell quiet again, watching the sunset, and as the day ended it seemed something else had ended too.

Only time would tell what would begin again when the sun eventually rose in the morning as it always did. Hopefully, the darkness that had consumed Peter would be lit up with Y/n’s sun, and that night would end too.

They’d have to wait and see. He didn’t mind though. He got to wait with someone this time.

[wearywinchester]

Back Again

Mechanic!Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: When it’s time to say goodbye after a date, Dean finds that it’s a little harder than it looks to do just that.

Requested by @halietigges: “Hello! Can I please request a oneshot where Dean is driving the reader (gender neutral) home after a date and the two share a goodbye kiss before the reader leaves the car and returns back into their home?”

Word Count: 2.7k

Warnings: none—fluff, kissing

You sigh as you smile, content as ever as you walked to the car. Dean’s hand enveloped yours, keeping you close as you made your way along the well worn path. It was quiet, save for the growing breeze and the birds chirping before sundown, save for the two sets of footfalls over gravel. The clouds were rapidly becoming abundant as the breeze continued on, but even the impending storm couldn’t dampen your mood, couldn’t dissolve the happiness simmering in your stomach.

You felt a bit of relief when you caught sight of the Impala, the raindrops falling against your skin having been sparse but you knew it was only a matter of time before they’d pick up their pace. You quickened your step as you pulled Dean along, hearing his chuckle behind you.

“Easy there, sweetheart. The car’s not going anywhere,” he says, teasing in his tone as he wraps his hand around the door handle, opening the passenger’s side for you.

You spun on your heel as you looked at him over the door, his amused gaze catching yours as he began to walk around the front end to get to the other side. He stops in his tracks at the mere smile on your face, his lip between his teeth as he awaits your next words.

“You know,” you start, your smile widening even more as you look at him, “you keep sayin’ that, and maybe one of these time Baby just might prove you wrong, Winchester.”

He rolls his eyes at that as you duck into the car, closing your door as he opens his. You don’t fail to see the smile tugging on the corner of his mouth or the shake of his head, or the laugh that leaves his lips softly. His hand hovered over the key that sat in the ignition, his words on the very tip of his tongue as your words replayed in his mind. That’s when he turned to you.

“You’re ridiculous, you know that, sweetheart?” He says, gaze fond as ever as he looks at you.

“You bet I do.”

His tongue swipes over his lips as he shakes his head once more, starting the car as his smile still lingers as he pulls out and looks at the road ahead. He turned on the radio, halfway through a song that he’d been quick to hum along to as he sped down the road.

It was the end of another date night amongst many, this one just as good as the last and the others before that. It was one that left you smiling to yourself as you looked out of the window at the trees and street lights passing by.

You’d gone to that diner in town, the one with those fries you swear are your favorite you’ve ever had. He knows that and it’s why he brings you there whenever he gets the chance, because that smile you’ve got on your face every time you get them makes it all worth it to him. That diner’s got that bacon cheeseburger he orders every single time without fail because nobody makes them quite like they do there. You know that and that’s why you pick that place every single time.

Your thoughtful reasons were unbeknownst to each other but still very much there each and every time.

He’d picked you up after he closed up at the garage for the day, having taken you straight to dinner the moment he found it in himself to stop looking at you like the lovestruck guy he knew he was. He’d never in a million years admit it though, no matter how much Bobby picks on him for it, no matter how much Sam teases him for it even for the years that built up to him finally asking you out on that very first date.

You were his best friend, the one he fell in love with and it took him a lot of stubbornness and a lot of Sam talking Dean out of backing out of making that move. He was glad he did and he wouldn’t admit that to Sam either.

He’d shown up on your doorstep with that famous Dean Winchester smile, the one that’d always seemed to be reserved just for you despite you being unaware of that fact. But just about everyone that knew the two of you were very much aware of it, it was hard not to be. You had your usual meal at that special diner you’ve alway found yourselves in one way or another for a number of years. You sat in your usual booth with all the contentment in the world as you sat there across from one another.

He’d snagged the last two slices of apple pie when it was nearing sundown, taking them to go and heading off to the one place you always went to. It was a quiet spot, nestled with trees standing tall all around the lake they framed. There was a wooden dock on the water’s edge, one you sat on together more times than you can count ever since you were teens who were too oblivious for their own good.

Now you were a couple of twenty-five year olds who’d finally worked up the nerve to be more than fools who’d pined for each other in secret, still oblivious to just how much you’d cared for one another.

You sat on the edge of that dock with your pie, a couple teasing jests shared amongst yourselves and bites stolen from the other’s slice. It was just the two of you there and you wouldn’t want it any other way than just that. It was your spot.

Dean Winchester wasn’t a man for fancy, best of the best restaurants, or the suits and ties and pristine fashion that come along with attending such a place. He wasn’t a man for wine and five course meals that cost way more than they’re worth. He loved greasy diner food and beer and the coziness that comes with eating in a place like that; it felt like home and it was comfortable. In fact, he’s still got some grease stains smudged across his cheek and under his nails from work. Still smudged on his t-shirt and the flannel he wore over top of it, his knuckles scraped up and busted from a car he can’t quite remember had been the cause.

He wasn’t one for expensive gifts, didn’t have the means for it despite the way he wanted to give you everything you deserve. It was one of the reasons he’d been so stubborn on talking himself out of taking you out on a date some time ago because he felt you deserved better than him, more than him, but that was something he’d push down forever because he’s quite sure that feeling wouldn’t ever go away.

Because despite that, he couldn’t keep himself from you, regardless of that nagging feeling he shoved down, he’d never be able to keep himself from anything that’s you.

But he wasn’t one for all that stuff in the movies and you couldn’t care less. You’ve got everything you need and there wasn’t a single thing you’d change about any of the dates he’d taken you on. You could do the same thing with him for forever and a day and not a single time would you find yourself growing tired of it so long as you did it with him.

You turned your head and looked at him, his gaze on the road as his elbow rested atop the ledge of the door as his hand draped loosely over the wheel. It didn’t take him very long to feel your gaze, his suspicions confirmed when he looks to his right and finds you smiling that smile at him, the one that makes him weak in the knees every single time.

He bites the inside of his cheek as he looks forward once more, and you know that look anywhere.

“You know, sweetheart,” he starts, throat clearing as the corner of his mouth quirks up a little more. “I heard if you take a picture, it might last longer.”

There it is.

You roll your eyes at his words, head shaking as you bite back your smile.

“You should maybe consider taking your own advice some time too, Winchester,” you say, your smile widening all the more at the look on his face, at the faux frown tugging at the corners of his mouth before his lips purse.

But that look didn’t last long, not at all as a quiet laugh fell from his lips.

You grinned as you looked down at your hands, at the small bouquet you held bunched in your loosened fist. It was a cluster of an assortment of flowers that didn’t match, picked spontaneously from the patches of wildflowers by the lake. It was something sweet that he thought of the moment he saw them, but it was something that made him make a mental note to get you a real bouquet next time.

But the small bunch of flowers grasped in your hand was more than enough for you, the look on his face when he’d plucked them from the ground and given them to you would be something stuck on your mind for a good long while and you were more than content with the idea of that.

The drizzling rain was steady as he pulled onto your street, the clouds having covered what was left of the sunset in favor of a looming gray, a contrast to the weather when he’d first picked you up. It didn’t seem like it would be stopping any time soon, heavy droplets pelting against the windshield and ricocheting off the hood of the Impala.

But that seemed to be the least of your concerns the very moment he pulled up in front of your house, parking along the curb.

You ran your tongue across your lips as you sigh, gaze looking out at the rain until it inevitably landed on green eyes as he’d done the same. He’d since turn the heat on low on your way home, seemingly a comfortable comparison to the chilly and gloomy evening weather just outside of the car. But when you met his gaze, just about everything else seemed to melt away and slip to the very back of your mind.

“I’m really starting to hate the idea of kissing you goodbye every time we go out on a date, you know,” he says, the corner of his mouth quirking up.

“So, you hate kissing me goodbye?” You jest, head tilted as you try your hardest to bite back your smile.

His lips purse only momentarily as his eyes roll, tugging you all the more closer as his hand settles on your cheek. Your cheeks burn with a light heat as the warmth of his breath sweeps over your lips, his smile very much there.

“Sweetheart, you know what I meant,” he murmurs softly, lips pressing to yours in a kiss almost feather light, lingering there for a moment or two. “It’s the goodbyes I’m worried about.”

Your laughter is quick to simmer against his lips and dissolve into a hum just as quickly as it sounded, his lips warm against your own as the pad of his thumb brushes along your cheek. The tip of his freckled nose bumps against yours as he tilts his head, his own smile pressing into his kiss.

In not so perfect timing, a crack of thunder sounded, drawing your attention away from him and to the more than obvious fact that it might be in your best interest to head inside before the weather worsens.

Your gaze flickers from the windshield to Dean, his lips kiss swollen and pink as he swipes his thumb over his bottom lip with a sigh, his head tipping back momentarily. But he finds he can’t keep his eyes from you that long, the fondness of the look he’s got on his face mixed with the dread of parting ways for the night melding together in his expression.

He had his hand on the door handle, ready to get out and hurry you to your door in the rain before you stopped him.

“De, there’s no use in having you get rained on too,” you say, your brow raising when his lips purse. You knew he couldn’t care less about that but he also knew you wouldn’t budge. “Goodnight, Dean.”

“Night, sweetheart,” he says quietly in the close proximity as you lean over the bench seat, kissing him once more.

You braced yourself as you stepped out into the rain, rounding the front end of the car before hurrying up the walkway to your front porch, the rain having dampened you being less than ideal. But he waited, he waited until you got up to your porch, waited until you got your keys after fumbling for them, waited until you opened your door and got inside safely before he even thought about pulling away. He always did that and he always would.

It wasn’t until you closed your door that you sighed, back pressed to the wood surface as a sigh left your lips, breathless from your rain dampened jog up to your house and breathless with utter content as your eyes fell closed for just a moment. Your smile still lingered just as it had done almost the entirety of the last few hours, sitting on your lips as you set your flowers down, set your keys on the table by the door.

You had to admit, goodbyes were the worst part of every date, of every bit of time spent with the older Winchester. The thought of it always had dread pooling in the pit of your stomach and it’d felt that way for as long as you could remember, but the both of you were far too stubborn to admit just how much you hated it.

But you didn’t have much time to think about it with the knock that sounded against your door.

You spun on your heel and twisted the door knob, opening it a crack before the smile tugged at your lips in an instant. When you opened it fully, green eyes stood on the other side of it under the covered porch, a half smirk on his lips as your flannel sat grasped in his hand. The one you kept in there for safekeeping should you find yourself running cold.

You take your lip between your teeth as you look up at him, your amusement more than evident in your expression.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re making excuses just to see me, Dean,” you say, matter of factly as your hand remains pressed on the edge of the door.

“What do I look like, some sappy rom-com guy?” He asks, trying his hardest to sound offended in the slightest bit.

“Do you really want me to answer that?”

You watched those dimples appear by the corners of his mouth despite his ever present grin, his tongue wetting his lips as he looked away for a moment. Watched as droplets of water drip from the ends of his hair and roll down the bridge of his freckled nose to the very tip of it, dripping down to the ground.

You shake your head at his antics as you let go of the door, stepping out onto the porch.

“You really are something, Winchester,” you say.

You lean on your toes and settle your hands on his cheeks, lips brushing over his and your flannel drops from his hand in favor of wrapping around you his smile pressing into yours.

Goodbyes were what he’d dreaded most, even if he’d see you the very next day. It didn’t matter. You knew it’d be a matter of time before he’d shown up on your doorstep once more that night with a more than foolish excuse—he always did.

And you were fine with that.

—

Tags: @flamencodiva @stixnstripesworld @elegantbutedgy @humanmistakes @agalliasi @campingmonkey @deandaydreaming @lanea-1 @akshi8278 @kidd3ath @taikawho

[castiel-left-his-mark-on-me]

Hi, Ary, very inactive ex-mutual(i think???) here. Good to see you thriving! ♥ It's been a while since I've dipped my head into cockles stuff. Could I perchance maybe ask uuuuum tf is going on??? lol I see Mish apparently confirmed he used to stay over at Jensen's in Van, and heard newbs were apparently freaking out about it and getting a bit messy, which I get that, business as usual. But I'm also seeing shit about spin-offs? And Jared getting in a twitter fight with Jensen, causing/resulting in stans to going feral and sending hate?? I know you're not as big a fan of Jar, but that's part of why I figured I'd ask you, you usually have a really level head about this kinda stuff. If you don't wanna answer publically, or at all, that's totally chill!

Hey, Rhi! We're still mutuals! Of course we're still mutuals! When I saw the notification of your ask, I was like "Hey! I haven't seen you in a while!" and my husband was like "???" and I said "Tumblr" and he said "Oh."

It was a wild time haha.

In any case, welcome back to the dumpster fire! We are obviously still a mess. So to catch you up, I guess I will start by summarizing both before and after the finale (not sure where you left off so this might be redundant for you) ... basically, it became obvious as the end of the show neared that Jensen was not on board with the plan for the finale; although Jared never stopped singing its praises.

We got confirmation of this during a zoom interview where Jensen said that he actually went into the writers room as well as called Kripke to basically voice how he didn't agree with the direction the final season was going, but he was shot down on all fronts. In another interview, he was asked "What would you tell your younger self going into this career?" And Jensen responded with: "I would tell myself to just keep your head down and do the work" meaning, "Don't try to change things because you can't." I also think that this whole situation is what he wrote "Let Me Be" about for his first Radio Company album, but that is just my own speculation. All of his reluctance, even though he always followed it up with "But I eventually saw the value in the script" or "I came around in the end" (which never sounded sincere, and I don't think he was really trying to sound sincere) made us all very nervous about what was to come for 15x20; and of course, when the last two episodes aired, we saw just how badly they fucked it up.

After the awful finale, the entire fandom became aware of the CW's heavy handed role in the thing, basically squeezing all the life out of SPN to shape it into a ramp from which Walker could launch itself. They not only erased all the love and joy and representation that Cas's love confession gave us, they also tore apart the things that made sense about the bond between Sam and Dean, making it really just about Sam-- and therefore Jared, which of course, Jared seemed to be fine with ... even though no one else was. Misha barely said anything during the finale, and a few of the other actors talked about the show ending in various posts, but Jared tweeted up a storm ... and Jensen? Jensen just sat in sexy-silent resentment of the whole thing. He didn't tweet, he didn't post, he didn't say a word once he no longer had to, and I think that's because he was already going full-steam-ahead on his plans for redemption.

Which brings us to Chaos Machine-- Jensen and Danneel's new production company that is being run by a queer creative director and has a mantra of inclusivity and representation woven throughout it's fabric; and apparently, the first story that Jensen wanted to tell through this new platform is the origin story of Sam and Dean's parents; so last week (?) he announced the upcoming production of "The Winchesters" -- the untold love story of John and Mary. Obviously, John is not the most likable character from the show, so the idea was met with a lot of resentment when it was first announced, but Jensen has gone on to say that he is excited to take on the task of telling the "true" story behind these characters-- the one that makes sense with the pre-established canon and doesn't reject it. So, given that, the idea is being mulled over with a bit more optimism from the fandom.

Who isn't being optimistic though?

Jared Padalecki.

When Jensen made this announcement on Twitter, many of his friends and coworkers congratulated him, but not Jared. Jared responded with a passive aggressive: "I'm happy for you, man, but I wish I didn't hear about it through Twitter." This of course, sent all the die-hard Jared fans into a tizzy and they immediately began asking him if he was serious (hoping it was just a joke-- we all hoped it was because there would be fallout no matter what one's opinion on Jared is). Instead of leaving it there though or just deleting that tweet, Jared went on to tweet some more, saying that he was being serious that he didn't know about the plans for the prequel, and that he was "gutted" that Sam apparenlty wouldn't be included (mind you, this a prequel to SPN... meaning BEFORE Sam and Dean were even born, so how could Sam be included? But Dean is apparently narrating this story so maybe Jared thought Sam should be helping to narrate it? I don't know). But Jared being Jared couldn't just leave that there, he then went on to tweet at Robbie Thompson who was announced as a writer for "The Winchesters" so then Jared went off on him too, calling him "Brutus" and a "coward" acting like Robbie betrayed him (speculation is-- Robbie refused to write for Walker, so Jared is pissed that he essentially chose Jensen over him). He did fairly quickly, remove that tweet attacking Robbie, but of course the damage was done at that point. And it truly only took his first tweet calling out Jensen for some people to be like "Jared-- that sucks if you didn't know but why are you saying any of this publicly?"

As you might know, Jared has had issues in the past with posting hurtful things on social media, and has even used it as a tool for attack before-- calling out customer service agents and public workers that he felt have wronged him, which is bad enough ... but for him to then do the same thing to his best friend of well over a decade? Many people who had once liked him or at least gave him the benefit of the doubt (I used to ...) stopped after this latest twitter tantrum.

However, some people have suspected for some time that J2 had a falling out either shortly before the finale or just after. Their public/social media interactions have seemed awkward, stilted or even non-existent in moments that they normally wouldn't be. In the past year, when Walker premiered, Jensen didn't say much about his friend's new venture other than a "Congrats. buddy" here and there. Later, we learned that Jensen refused to work on the show ... Jared said he make him do it, drag Jensen to the set "kicking and screaming" which made many fans quirk up an eyebrow because, why would Jensen put up a fight unless the two weren't as close as they used to be? And then Jensen moved his family to Colorado (either permanently or for an extended period at least) which is notable considering how he moved to Texas seemingly to be closer to Jared, even buying a house that was near his. All this was just speculation though; but it wasn't until Jared's tweet complaining about not knowing about the prequel that the theories behind them falling out, became less theory and more fact.

The day after his twitter tantrum, Jared tweeted again-- not retracting his statements or apologizing, but instead saying that he and Jensen "talked" and were "all good". Jensen then tweeted too, parroting this statement to some degree, which only made the whole thing even more sour in the mouths of the fans. The fact that Jared didn't apologize for his outburst and throwing his friend under the bus, and also the fact that Jensen-- Mr. Sexy Silence, Mr. Never Tweets, Mr. Tech-Ignorant-and-Proud, actually had to POST SOMETHING saying that he and Jared made up, it just screamed OPTICS. It was obviously the work of agents and PR firms and lots of people going "Look, if you two keep beefing, that will mean the death of both of your projects. Even more people will stop watching Walker, and this SPN prequel will never get picked up due to the scandal." So, the two "made nice" publicly to quell the chaos, but in my opinion, it's all too little too late. Jared started a storm that he can't contain now with a little tweet, and it seems like he knows that too because before he talked about him and Jensen making up, he asked that people "not send threats". He could have just as easily said that he shouldn't have made this a public issue and that he's sorry, but instead, he continued to play the victim and stoke the flames by alerting us all to the damage he's done.

Now, like I said before-- I used to give him the benefit of the doubt. I don't think he's an awful human or that he deserves to be attacked or anything, but he is an adult man with very poor judgment and an obvious selfish-streak a mile wide. He should know better, and he should have more respect for his so-called "friends" and "brothers" than to make them targets to public ridicule. I have a hard time believing that Jensen still sees Jared the way he used to, and I wouldn't blame him a bit for wanting to pull away-- especially when he's moving on to so many new and exciting things. Jared certainly deserves happiness just as much as anyone else, but he went on twitter and basically asked for a scandal, and he got one.

The question is now-- was there a motive behind it? Was just looking for a reason to bring his and Jensen's falling out to light-- while making himself looking like the victim in the process? Or did he genuinely not know about the prequel and just decided to go about "not knowing" in the most toxic and hurtful way he could manage?

In any case, that is the drama ... that is the J2 insanity in a rather lengthy nutshell ... that is the tea ... and I hope it all makes sense.

But the good news out of all of this is, Cockles is thriving-- they are happy and in love and Jensen calls Misha "Babe" and Misha misses waking up to see Jensen in the morning, and they are just as cute and wonderful as can be.

So, I will end that there. I am so glad to see you back, and I hope I answered all your questions in a way that made sense ... I tried anyway!

💖💖💖