#....slightly less than two years
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i havent gone on a date with someone new in literally two years im so fucking nervous
#....slightly less than two years#my ex and i got together at the end of february 2023#and we broke up six months ago but the only two people ive seen since then are people i had flings with years ago#WHAT IF I SAY SOMETHING STUPID#WHAT IF HES NOT INTO ME#realistically i know im hot and interesting and reasonably funny#but godddddddd i cannot stop focusing on my flaws
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#pokemon#pokemon sv#pokemon scarlet and violet#grusha#cetitan#aquanutart#i was like oh the new ice gym leader has such a great design i hope i have a chance to draw her one day#*reads the wiki page* excuse me what. oh i accidentally drew him immediately#he has an adorable round snow whale thing friend what am i supposed to do#anyway thanks pokemon i feel slightly less upset about it being WINTER#I DON'T LIKE WINTER#i prefer water in a liquid not solid state#if it's not at least 70F/21C and sunny it's winter to me#anyway grusha and i would unfortunately live in different worlds because i cant hack these arctic temperatures (= less than aforementioned#IT GETS BELOW FREEZING HERE HELP ME I'M A FROG#i am fine don't worry about me. i am being dramatic. i have survived many winters i am a strong frog#TWO MORE MONTHS#HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!
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super fun trade with @charseraph !
#my art#monster art#illustration#looove this design thank you again for letting me tackle em!#this is a slightly different version than I sent you - some things were bothering me! let me know if you want the bigger file <:^)#1st art of 2023. starting off weird and pledging to stay weird. sometimes#currently redecorating my entire room which has been ugly and unchanged since moving in two and a half years ago. so less art yet again#sorry. big things to come though#also scrumpy (cat) is in his attack everything stage but i think he's a feminist because he likes me. so i forgive him#however my mom says he is misogynist because he only cares about me for my tiddies (for sleeping on) and not my personality#anyone want to chime in? i want to like him but i will cancel him if he's evil#i am once again apologising for using the notes function in this way btw. i have a lot of thoughts in my mind#and need to write them down. unfortunately
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🍓🍄🌿 (picked the last one to continue with the plant/natural world theme honestly)
🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction?
the need to have in hand the stories i’d been wanting to read my entire life finally hit critical mass and overturned the debilitating social anxiety/OCD magical thinking that told me i would be pelted with eggs and rotten fruit for daring to inflict my thoughts (and thots) upon other residents of the internet. only took 25 years, folks! prior to this i was simply trying to cram all of my nascent fanned fiction into the tags field of random posts on tumblr dot edu, which i’m sure was not annoying AT ALL for anyone making the posts that came under my fire.
now obviously i do not have that problem and i tag things normally.
🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings
eurydice hadestown is very handy with quick mental math and its applications, i.e. calculating tips, making change, emergency budgeting, guesstimating prices, etc. orpheus hadestown can subdivide ONLY in the context of musical time signatures and only ever passed a math class beyond algebra 2 because he has big sad eyes and his teachers felt bad that he was clearly trying really hard. this is perpetually baffling to eurydice, who is just like "if you tip 15% it’s 10% of the bill plus half of that, so you just move the decimal up a place and then divide that number by two and then add them and—" and orpheus is like no no that’s already too many steps. and she’s like well what do you just not tip your barista because it’s too many steps? asshole? and he’s like of course not! i always tip two dollars. and she’s like on a four dollar coffee? that’s a 50% tip?? and he’s like well no that one was $4.38, see, it’s just easier to not have to do the math. and she’s like [screams]
for orpheus’ part, he can diagram chord progressions to an extent that causes eurydice to lapse into a defensive coma, but of course that has no practical applications.
🌿 ⇢ give some advice on writer's block and low creativity
no, YOU give ME some advice on writer’s block and low creativity!!!
i dunno, man, all the stuff that works for me is stuff that’s been said more eloquently elsewhere. if you’ve written one sentence that’s a sentence that didn’t exist before and therefore you have increased the thing. the time will pass anyway so you may as well pass it making something. sometimes you just need to look at another project, another fandom, another creative hobby, a tree, instead of your current project. you’re allowed to just think about it if thinking about it is all you have the heart to do. it’s easy to mistake the plateau before leveling up for stagnation, and it’s easy to mistake the upward climb for rotting and crumbling into dust.
you’re always improving. every day you wake up and see with your eyes and hear with your ears and think about the world around you, you’re banking sense-impressions and test-running dialog and feeling emotions that might one day find their way into a project. and this too is writing, in its way.
ask meme
#chatter#ask games#and it's like does orpheus have that money to burn? well not really. but he does have family/support that allows him to be less careful#while eurydice of course has to nickel and dime as a matter of survival.#orpheus is like well i'd rather be a schmuck with an empty wallet than be ungenerous. or do math in my head.#and this they say is why sopranos and tenors be fucking. because of inter-community solidarity.#<- this user is a soprano and compulsively tips two bucks on all coffees because it makes the math happy.#ETA: looking at my remarks on orpheus i'd like to revise slightly and say instead#that i don't know if he made it out of high school geometry with clean hands actually.#like algebra 1 was dicey but the main problem there was he forgot to turn in half his assignments. when he got them to the teacher#they were probably mid to fine if occasionally illegible. and then he was like ''math isn't so bad! and next year is geometry!#that's just shapes!!'' and oh buddy. ohooohohoooooo buddy. it was not just shapes.#and then of course hermes had to sing some songs at him about it as seen in the john mulaney comedy special.
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maybe you should doodle however many or few starcon/helix/damned characters as you like (in human or alien form) in cute halloween costumes! imagine... ZEX dressed up as Ariel thelittlemermaid...
Day 26 - "I hadn't realized humans also had aquatic subcultures!" "Oh, well, uhm..."
#My art#Requestober#SCII#Damned#DAX#ZEX#The Captain#You can't tempt me like this I'm too weak to it agh#I am sorely convinced that with a Slightly longer time frame to work on this I would've gone with my first idea#It was way overly-ambitious for a less-than-24-hour time limit but hhghhh I /do/ want to draw everyone in cute costumes!!!#Super doesn't help that I very broke my sleep schedule and like as soon as this came in I fell asleep for three hours lol#And was still tired!!! That's just not fair says I#But I still managed >:3c Because I limited my scope haha but that's important too!! And it still turned out cute!!!#I mean how couldn't it - ZEX as The Little Mermaid is just-#I'm enamoured it's so perfect for him..........what an excellent idea...........definitely not going to be thinking about this for A While#Funnily enough my immediate thought was actually angst haha - the mermaid has to give up her voice! What would ZEX give up?#That he hasn't already anyhow - and then thoughts of reviving Zelnick but selfishly I just hhghgh I love himm I love themmmm#For now the cutes tho!!!!#It tickles me so bad that a significant portion of Damned takes place in October hehe <3 ZEX arrived in November but still!#And then the Halloween event to get their canon outfits back fjdskalfjd ahhh!!!#I'm many many years too late lol but there's something very lovely about the theme continuing ahh <3 <3#Oh yeah and there's also two others in costume here lol - the Captain's was easy haha <3 Dashing prince! He suits it ♪#For DAX lol at first I considered Triton? But he's not quite That bad about ZEX's human infatuation#Not that he's as admissive or manipulative as Ursula either - at some point it might've just become ''I want to see him in it'' lol#He's so happy about it haha <3#Can you tell I had fun with ZEX's costume lol - sparklies!!! Had fun with the glitter on his shoes :D#I Will find a place to use my scale brush anywhere and everywhere and that's a threat#I wonder what ZEX would think of human animation haha - I only remember there being one movie night at the Institute!#Surely Disney would get the greenlight to be played in the Sun Room! ZEX having a transcendent ''seen'' experience aw <3
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Gael García Bernal in Letters to Juliet (2010, dir. Gary Winick)
(these gifs also feature Amanda Seyfried)
Gifs are all 540px wide so you can click to see larger.
[other gael filmography gifsets]
#gael garcía bernal#letters to juliet#ggb filmography gifs#gael garcia bernal#ugh#gael plays the fiance she dumps two-thirds of the way into the movie#although her eventual romantic interest is supposedly english#he is played by an australian#and it's not that his accent is BAD exactly#but it's in that uncanny valley of accents where it's just slightly off#and listening to it is like nails on a blackboard#this may have prejudiced me but i found that character dull and irritating#this was a film gael did shortly after the birth of his first child#when (he's subsequently said in interviews) he felt extra pressure to work and bring in money#and separately i've seen an interview with amanda seyfried where she says she made this movie because she wanted to buy a house#so basically everyone here was in it for the paycheck#i mean it's POSSIBLE vanessa redgrave thought it was the highlight of her artistic career i suppose but somehow i doubt it#plus points: the movie doesn't suggest there's anything WRONG with gael's character#just that the two of them aren't really compatible#which they certainly aren't if she's interested in bland blond guys#actually i'd be about 500% more interested in a hypothetical movie about gael's character than i am in the actual movie#i hope his restaurant is a success#less hypothetically también la lluvia (which is coming up next) was the same year as this and is several thousand percent more interesting#can you tell i didn't like this
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Tim & Bruce both had an unspoken countdown to when Tim turned, not fifteen, not sixteen, but fifteen and nine months.
They don't talk about it. Not with each other, not with anyone else, but they are both very, very aware of when Tim has officially lived longer than Jason ever had the chance to.
#character death mention#child death in fiction#fifteen years eight months and slightly less than two weeks#Tim Drake#Bruce Wayne#DC#Batfam#I'm not sure if Dick and Alfred have the mental countdown too#I think it's more likely that they notice after it's passed and have some Feelings#which they also keep to themselves#Bruce talking to Cass about Jason not getting to see eighteen is actually progress for him#this is probably more in the realm of headcanon than meta analysis
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The "best" part of trying to clean a room that has all the collective possessions of two adults who do crafting and have an aversion to getting rid of shit, is that even when you spend multiple hours tidying, it only looks 2% better
#too much clothing!!! too many craft supplies!!! there is no space!!!!#i wish we had an apartment. so thered be places to put shit#other than Only our bedroom#i spent two and a half hours tidying and it doesnt look like i did anything st all#but i did!!! i reorganized desks and removed a lot of trash!!!#i finallg removed the tv tray that was just holding dnd books!!#there is less fabric piled on the project table!!#i made a space for our snacks so we can See them!#and yet. barely floor space. i cannot access the closet or clothing cabinet#weve had a portable ac just Sitting in here taking up space since last summer#and now! its spring! so might as well keep it there until summer!#maybe one day. roses brother will Actually put up the shelves weve had for like a year.#and then we can slightly declutter more#ramblings#sorry i am hungry and frustrated at the endless uphill battle
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.
#I do this thing where I keep comparing myself and my life to other people my age who live like ‘normal lives’ where they live with just#their partner and work decent-ish paying jobs#and don’t live near family/have large family obligations#like I make slightly more than minimum wage#my health stuff had been getting worse#my fiancé is disabled/chronically ill and working her ass off so she doesn’t have excess energy#which leaves a lot of house work on me#which is fine and I don’t mind#and our household is me my fiancé my 23 yo sister and we’ve all lived together for like 3 years now and my sister makes a lot more money &#helps with house stuff#/maintenance#but my younger sister and her 9 month old moved in at the beginning of summer because her baby daddy is a scum bag#and she’s 20 and really mentally unwell#so a lot of baby care falls on me & my fiancé#along with trying to help my sister with her mental health#which is like not normal levels of unwell it’s like serious shit and she’s completely unmedicated and going through a real hard time and not#adjusting to motherhood well cause she was 19 and shouldn’t have had a baby#and like she knows that but what’s done is done#she can’t move back in with my parents because her relationship with them is too fucked#and like there’s also complicated stuff safety and bad ppl in her life so that’s a stress inducing factor#she’s unemployed and I’m not sure will ever be able to work and can’t drive#not her fault just the reality we live in#also we’re the ppl who live closest to my grandmother who’s health has been rapidly declining so a lot of that has fallen on my other sister#and me to manage#I also have to pet sit a lot because I need the money#and when I come home I have to spend all my time getting the house back in order#also I’m about to be losing a days worth of pay starting September cause the kids I nanny are doing two half days a week of prek#which means less money & with these grocery bills and two more mouths to feed is gonna fuck me in the ass#so like yeah I don’t have the time or energy for hobbies I spend all my damn free time trying to keep the house clean or taking care of#The baby & like it’s just the way it is but it’s not comprable to how all the ppl I knew in highschool r living rn
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Two years later and I am OVER that guy I dated for a few weeks
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I gave in to a Craigslist ad that had been up for a couple weeks & met the person yesterday, to take 3 hermit crabs. I thought they were likely pretty small from the ad picture, but two are VERY small - 1/2" to 3/4" shell openings. The biggest is about 1" opening. And of course I JUST gave away all my smaller shells at Crab Con. 🤦 So I already placed a couple orders online, and I'm running to some craft stores after work today.
Despite not being prepared with shells like I should've, I am glad I have extra space and containers. The big baby is quite active and already changed shell once. However, the smallest just molted, and I set them up to finish eating their exo in their original tank. The other small baby has yet to move since I got them, which worries me. But I have 2 more small tanks available if I need to isolate them too! I'm anxious to get home and check on them today.
#hermit crabs#land hermit crabs#purple pinchers#invertebrates#lord of the crabbies#fbw rambles#my pets#it's been a WHILE since I've had any this small#i was slightly panicky last night lol#I'm glad i have at least a month to figure shit out for them#bc my main tank is not baby proofed#and I'm not sure the two teenys can climb the pool ladders#I'm still rather emotional over them....#they're so small that they're almost certainly less than 5 years old#just babies :(#i hope they can recover okay
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I absolutely LOVE the Squirtle/Wartortle illustrations by kantaro in Pokemon 151!
The Squirtle jumping so joyfully from the rock into the ocean, the colors are STUNNING! I love the contrast of the Squirtle's aqua blue framed in the vivid orange sky, the soft bit of blue reflecting in its shell and its tail just catching the sun, how little and squishy its body looks as it launches itself towards the water with such tremendous excitement!
The lineless style of the background gives me the feel of a travel poster and I sense the tropical environment around it from the rocks and trees framing the corners, the waterfall splashing with as much energy as the Squirtle!
The layered blues on the surface of the water and the bubbles rising at the corner make me FEEL the liquid rising to meet the Squirtle--I can just feel how the next moment it's going to break through and be immersed in a cool island swim!
And the Wartortle running along the sunset beach, this is somehow everything I always imagined for Wartortle! I adore the way the rich purple melts into the warm red/orange sky, the matching purple clouds and shadows in the foreground, and how the dimming sunlight glows red on Wartortle's deep blues!
I love how the yellow and orange of the sky illuminate the lapping waves, I can just feel the gentle motion of the sea at dusk. The aqua color of the ocean matches Wartortle's ears and tail and sets off the red-orange sand, I just love how the colors are here!
Wartortle looks so round and squishy, I love its happiness as it goes frolicking through the shallows, chasing the bubbles caught in the setting sun! The shine and deep shadow on its shell give it an almost jewel texture like real tortoise shell; I love the silhouetted splash Wartortle leaves as it goes running across the shore. It's so full of energy and delight at the end of a gorgeous day! The colors in these are SO vivid and harmonized and the style is so cute and bursting with energy and joy. I just LOVE it (also Squirtle is my starter)
#pokemon#pokemon tcg#long post#i have deep affection for bulbasaur as well though and i also love the bulbasaur/ivysaur cards in this set#i SO wish we'd gotten art of the final evolutions in the same style as the pre-evos' standard cards!!#(yes i do love the full art ones but i also love the illustrations on the standard cards!)#from the way the settings in these two were going; i would have imagined blastoise to be set at night (??)#i LOVE pokemon cards. i can't keep up with every set but i started collecting again now and then a few years ago#and 151 has really got me wanting the full set the way i haven't since childhood. SO many beautiful illustrations (but there always are)#it's like having little pieces of art of my favorite characters and it's only.. slightly... less expensive than actually commissioning ....#i KNOW it's less expensive to buy the individuals online but it's so much less fun#part of the fun is having YOUR own pokemon journey ((going to the store)) and seeing what YOU encounter ((when you open the pack))#i do buy them online sometimes but i usually dont form as strong associations with them as when i open a pack in a certain setting or place#i tend to try to save them to open right before a significant event like starting something new or a holiday. so that i form associations#and it's like 'oh that's the galarian obstagoon from when my mom came home for christmas'#and 'that's the snorlax who reassured me when i was hurt'#i don't buy them too often so i've got to make it count#anyway i know i should wait for the prices on this one to come down because it's absolutely ridiculous#i didn't buy anything at release because i was like $6 for one booster pack??? but i couldn't take just sitting and watching them sell out#i really like the poster because i can look at so many beautiful pictures all together#i could say stuff like this about literally every pokemon illustration (if i had time to write it out) and sometimes i've wanted to#i just chose these two because these are a couple of my original favorite pokemon and i just couldn't keep it to myself. i LOVE these
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I FORGOT THEY MAKE SUGAR FREE ICED T E A
BEST MOST SPECIAL IMPORTANT TREAT OF THE DAY
#monster noises#did i get enough books to last me through at Least the rest of the year for less than 30 dollars? yes#did i find the second volume of the classic elric comics? yes!#and did i also find the first two volumes of Bloodstain? Yes!!!!!!#but the taste of my delicious and beautiful wife iced tea???#worth more to many than any of those#i haven't imbibed this sweet nectar in nearly f i v e m o n t h s#part of this journey has been me just.. forgetting that they make Sugar Free Things#and that even if it feels like Cheating and Dangerous to have them#it's not and i can Enjoy Things they just have to be Slightly to the left
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he's gonna go into the rift for 70 years isn't he. that's why he didn't tell bill his plan. you cannot keep doing this sir
#slightly less self sacrificial than ten but he still jumps at any chance to sacrifice a year or two hundred#dw#the eaters of light#jamie catches up#jamie.txt
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one thing about getting sick for me is that before covid (the first time) my colds and flus and whatnot all went in a very specific pattern: i would get a sore throat for a day or two, then violently congested for three or four days, then a runny nose/drainage for three or four days after that, and finally a cough, which was my favorite part of the cold (if a person can be said to have a favorite part of a cold) because it meant it was almost over AND that the problem was largely not in my face and neck anymore. but any illness i've had since that first covid has been all over the map - either i don't get the sore throat at all, just straight into the congestion, or the sore throat happens at a different time, or longer, or worse, or i have to spit a lot because otherwise i get so nauseous from sinus drainage that i throw up, or the congestion and the runny nose happen concurrently with not just each other but ALSO the sore throat (which is what's happening right now and i hate it) and like. because it doesn't follow the pattern i spent twenty-six years of my life getting used to, i'm always freaked out. which i would be anyway because ever since i had the first covid getting sick freaks me out. and it should freak more people out if im being honest. but this is a weird one bc like. i dont know how it did that but it disrupted MY trusty sick pattern
#i say 'first covid' because even though both rapid tests were negative yesterday there's a high likelihood they were false negatives#the most likely explanation is 'my brother brought covid to christmas and three days later i also got covid'#a perfectly reasonable chain of logic that my family refuses to entertain because it would make it His Fault#and nobody wants to blame mister perfect#he's my brother and i mostly love him. but the thing with him and me is that he's two years younger than me but has always had an energy of#i dont know. maturity? know-it-all-ness which comes off as maturity? emotional stoicism? < thats it probably right there#i was always a very emotional child. and undiagnosedly autistic. so he is in some ways the eldest child. and i resent it#like. we all know he's NOT the eldest. but he takes charge of things like he thinks he is. and when i take charge of things i am...#not authoritative#anyway he's the engineer and emotionally stoic and can 'beat' any problem by simply glaring at it hard enough (he thinks) and he's like#the oldest son. and i think somewhere back in the family hindbrain where they'd never recognize or admit it . that holds weight#oldest son holds just SLIGHTLY more weight than oldest daughter#although. had i been born a boy and been exactly the same personality-wise as i am already. he would still be like this#and we would still have this uncomfortable dynamic#anyway mister special can't get anybody sick and it's probably not his fault because i come into contact with people all the time!#sure. at my much more secure workplace where i spend less than five minutes with most patrons. and a lot more people mask#versus . him a foot away from me at the dinner table sniffling into his ham. hmmmmmm. you're an engineer. you do the math
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The sequin fabric for my I-am-determined-to-make-this-happen cosplay arrived the other day, and since I am still up to my eyeballs in handsewing for my Rhaenyra dress, all I did was open the plastic bag the fabric shipped in so I could check the red color against a few other pieces of the costume. Didn’t even take it out of the bag, just unfolded it a tiny bit so I could see the front of the fabric.
And yet somehow there are already sequins all over my house.
#sequin fabric#sewing#my sewing#my cosplay#Harley Quinn Swiftie cosplay#I last sewed with sequins in 2011 I think?#and every now and then I still find one that managed to get wedged under the baseboard for the last 12 years#and those were much larger dangle sequins#this time around it's itty bitty like 2mm or 3mm round sequins#they're going to get eeeevvvveeeerrrryyyywwwhhhheeerrrreeee#sigh#all the more reason to completely finish up the RRD cosplay and pack it up before I start sewing that other one lol#I am getting SO CLOSE to done with all the ridiculously tedious narrow trim handsewing that I've been at for the last several weeks#it hasn't felt worthwhile to post about it when the pictures look basically the same but I am definitely making progress#on something like 30 or 35 YARDS of itty bitty fiddly stitches#less than 2 yards left to go and this time it's already basted in place so slightly less fiddly#and I've started figuring out the wide neckline trim as well#I'm going to go put on a movie and finish up the narrow trim and maybe start in on the wide trim#pics of that in the next day or two I expect#tagtalking#RRD cosplay#Dragon Con#Dragon Con 2023#Dragon Con prep
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