#....said Pandora

[saelrum]

As a Re:Zero fan I'm so freaking happy rn

[corwnvus]

THE TWINS!

[justafandomgirly]

Pandora: Lily asked me for the time today so we’re basically married

Regulus: James glanced at me when I bumped into him so he’s definitely in love with me

Dorcas: I hate single people

[jakexneytiri]

eetu looks like young jake

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 274

You know what is fun? Baby Ghost Jason. You know what could be even more fun? Ghosts are Dragons. 

Jason? Aware of none of this. 

He was on comms, y’know listening and rolling his eyes at Dickwing, who used his real name, really Dick, he mocks. It’s just a stakeout, nothing new there, honestly boring when he could be blowing something up instead. It should have just been a stakeout. 

Yet there’s something suddenly there, something behind him. Something that causes his hair to stand on end and his comms to spark into static like some sort of horror movie. Something, something with clawed hands with corpse-pale skin tipped in black, stained or dead or something else, tilting his head up and up and up as he’s frozen. 

“A child, out here? Alone?” a voice crackles, hisses, hums, and purrs, somehow all at once, unnatural in its tone. He can’t move, he needs to move, he has to move, but it’s like the space around him has gone cold and dead, like he’s stuck in the Pits once more as claws hold his head and his vision blurs. “Sleep, child. Rest- we’ll be home soon.” 

[charbroiledchicken]

*leans casually and suavely against the doorway* good morning deer sir do you want to hear about gay wizards from the 1970s

[nattikay]

...hmm...just thinkin' about an Avatar "no angst" AU, y'know, like an AU where the characters who died in the first movie just...didn't? For example...

• Tsu'tey and Sylwanin are both alive and well. They officially tied the knot not long after the point when Sylwanin would've died in canon, and already have a child together by the time Jake arrives on Pandora.

• Eytukan also lives and therefore he and Mo'at are still leading the clan, though of course Tsu'tey and Sylwanin are next in line.

• Because the schoolhouse incident never happened in this AU, Grace was never kicked out of the village; her school is still running and she is on good terms with the Omatikaya.

• The RDA is overall less psychotic than they are in canon, and the Avatar Program has been largely successful in establishing diplomacy with the local clans. There is still some level of tension between the humans and the Na'vi of course, because the humans are ultimately still there to mine unobtainium and the Na'vi would prefer there was no mining at all, but in this AU the RDA is at least principled enough to not do things like bulldoze the Tree of Voices or bomb Hometree etc. (so, Hometree is still standing). Jake was never asked to spy on the Na'vi.

• Grace is actually the one to introduce Jake to Neytiri when she brings Jake and Norm along to the school one day. Neytiri is intrigued by the goofy non-scientist "warrior" dreamwalker and Jake finds himself equally intrigued by her; they begin spending more and more time together, and when Jake expresses curiosity about her way of life Neytiri just naturally kinda takes it upon herself to teach him the ways of the clan.

• Because Neytiri is neither tsakarem nor engaged to Tsu'tey in this AU, her romance with Jake is not quite as ~forbidden~ as it was in canon (and honestly they make zero effort to hide their feelings; the whole clan knows lol). The only remaining barrier is the fact that he's a dreamwalker and how that may affect things.

• Jake and Neytiri fall head over heels for each other about as fast as they do in canon; after three months Jake is already fully convinced that he wants remain with Neytiri and the clan for the rest of his life rather than ever go back to Earth, where there is nothing left for him. Even getting the spinal surgery to fix his legs no longer holds any interest for him, since of course his avatar body can walk just fine.

• By that point Neytiri begs Mo'at and Eytukan to let Jake do the coming-of-age ceremonies and become part of the clan so they can become mates. Mo'at and especially Eytukan are hesitant, but Mo'at consults Eywa and Eywa sends a sign of approval, so they allow it. Jake spends about an extra month preparing more specifically for Iknimaya and Uniltaron, and soon after completing those he and Neytiri actually get to have a proper mating ceremony. Jake does go through the permanent consciousness transfer at some point, though I haven't yet come up with the exact circumstances there...

• The Sully kids get to have more extended family! Grandpa Eytukan, Uncle Tsu'tey, and Aunt Sylwanin are all still around, along with a handful of cousins (Tsu'tey's and Sylwanin's kids).

• Quaritch never shot Grace in this AU, which means she never had to undergo the attempted consciousness transfer, which means Kiri wasn't conceived the way she was in canon. Buuuuuut I still want Kiri as part of the Sully family, so in this AU she is Jake and Neytiri's biological daughter and Neteyam's twin. She doesn't have the special Eywa powers that she has in canon, but does still have a spiritually-minded personality, and is a strong candidate for next tsakarem after Sylwanin. Grace still adores and dotes on her, especially when she shows interest in botany.

• Norm and Trudy are happy in a long-term relationship.

• There was no Battle at the Hallelujah Mountains, therefore Paz didn't die and was still around to raise Spider (undecided on how involved Quaritch was though).

• I like to imagine that in this AU Paz and Trudy are good friends, both being pilots and all. It's through Trudy that Paz and Spider become involved with folks from the Avatar program and Spider meets the Sully kids.

• Because she doesn't have the RDA-related traumas she has in canon, Neytiri is totally chill with Spider in this AU. She is mostly just curiously amused by the strange little human boy running around with his Na'vi friends.

• Spider is semi-trilingual English/Spanish/Na'vi. English is his go-to since everyone he knows can speak it, but he can also do some Spanish (Paz and maybe Trudy's influence) and quite a lot of Na'vi (Omatikaya influence, though Norm was thrilled to help when he caught wind that Spider was interested in learning). Sometimes he (subconsciously) mixes up a combination of any two or even all three and spews out mishmash sentences no one else understands immediately and has to stop and re-word.

• Because Quaritch is not the Big Bad Evil Guy the way he is in canon, Spider isn't really bothered by being called Miles. However, the nickname "Spider" somehow just stuck when he was very young so most people still call him that; it's mostly just Paz (and Quaritch) who call him Miles.

• Jake is not Toruk Makto in this AU, because with the RDA being more cooperative/less aggressive, he never needed to be. He and Neytiri are just normal (albeit well-liked/respected) hunters in the clan. Perhaps eventually a day will come when Toruk Makto is needed and Jake will have some reason to step up...but not yet. He's perfectly content being just a regular clan member.

• This has the side-effect of lessening Neteyam and Lo'ak's dramatic stunts as teenagers, because the legacy they're trying to live up to is simply "strong respectable hunter" rather than "legendary olo'eyktan Toruk Makto"

[marauders-quotes-bymyfriends]

The emeralds casually chatting about something incredibly unhinged

my friends had this conversation at lunch and I just-

Dorcas: *pretending to hold out a microphone* so do you take the 16 STDs or double it and give it to the next person?

Pandora: I take the 16 STDs!

Evan: nooo, I wanted 32 STDs....

Barty: *waggling his eyebrows suggestively* I'll give you 32 STDs-

Regulus: *hits barty over the head with his school bag*

[chernychnyi]

reposting some PH favorites

[odillisea]

I keep seeing people talking about how Dorcas was killed by Voldemort himself and completely misinterpreting it as “she was so strong and powerful that only he could kill her,” which might’ve been what happened, but I feel like probably wasn’t the case seeing as he’s killed plenty of random people throughout the series and she was only really mentioned that one time.

But there could’ve been some other reason as well, rather than “oh yeah she was just really really powerful.” What if the reason Voldemort targeted Dorcas was because she kept talking to her old friends from Slytherin and making them question their loyalties and whatnot, and had even managed to make a few death eaters drop out of the war? Sure, she was a dangerous enemy to have, but what if another layer of that danger for Voldemort’s side was her way with words?

Imagine Dorcas fighting in the war and seeing her old classmates that she quite literally lived with for seven years fighting against her. Imagine Pandora telling her the reason why she couldn’t bring herself to join the order, despite how much she wanted to help, was because she couldn’t make herself do anything to hurt Evan. Imagine her continuing to fight with all her strength, but then tracking down the death eaters she knew from school just to see if she could talk them out of it.

Evan and Barty stayed, of course. They were loyal to Voldemort till the end but they would always leave her, one of the order’s best duellists, completely unscathed. But others would listen to her, growing more uncertain and starting to hold back more or try to leave the death eaters completely. She was a Slytherin after all. She would’ve had both the ambition and drive to find these death eaters individually, and the cunning in her words to make them question their loyalties.

Maybe Voldemort went after her after Regulus died, because he thought she had something to do with him betraying him, and maybe she actually did. Maybe she had talked to him, even if it was Kreacher that was the turning point, and he had to kill her himself because she could genuinely make them lose the war if she kept doing what she was doing. Maybe the power she had that Voldemort feared so much was the power to turn his own forces on him. The power to destroy his forces without a single weapon or wand.

[armandposting]

if you are caught up in what ships are "endgame" in the vampire chronicles or related media you are missing the whole point of anne rice vampires which is that they function like the worst most drama-filled queer community group you've ever heard of while being immortal and having unlimited resources. one of the last books in the series is about drama in lestats polycule because this guy that he pissed off ages ago kidnapped two of his boyfriends and his mom (who he is in love with as well don't worry about it) therefore provoking the ire of several of his other boyfriends because they were also dating those guys so they set aside their differences of opinion on whether or not they should farm the alien species that lives among them for easy blood in order to go steal back the cule members which lestat accomplishes by tearing the kidnapper's eyes out and eating them (which he didn't do before because the kidnapper was hot and so lestat was holding out hope that he would also join the polycule eventually). a side plot to this is lestat meeting a vampire he hasn't met before and bringing him home so the new guy and louis can read tolstoy together because as soon as lestat met this vampire he was like omg I need to bring this guy home for boyfriend enrichment. you cannot BEGIN to comprehend the complexity of vampire sucking and fucking in the anne rice universe

[reguluskeys]

please god find a new name for besides “slytherin skittles” how am i supposed to take them seriously while calling them SKITTLES.

[dreamer0903]

James: I want to be with you for the rest of my life.

Regulus: Damn, that sounds like a marriage proposal.

James , getting down on one knee: That's 'cause it is.

(now imagine Sirius, Remus, Barty, Evan, Pandora and Dorcas all coming out of the bushes they were hiding in, congratulating them, and Regulus scowling bc he didn't understand the proposal at first and now they are all making fun of him for it)

[duusheen]

💕

[justafandomgirly]

Regulus: You are making my life a personal hell. I’m leaving, I love you guys but not this much

Dorcas: It’s fucking monopoly sit ur ass down and pay the fuck up

Pandora: You rolled doubles so you have to go again

Regulus: *Rolls and lands on boardwalk* Motherfu-

Barty: *Cackles*

Evan: *Holds out hand smirking* I believe you owe me some money

Regulus: *flips board*

[mezsygfs]

Marauders as things my friends have said pt 2

had a deep dive in our discord dms for this shit. @al1xre as promised. love you tater tot 😽🩷 which friend should I target next.. nani or cece.... I got A LOT on both them mfs

other parts

Sirius: BRO. YOU CAN FIGURE THIS OUT URSELF

James: BUT PADS??? YOURE MY EMOTIONAL SUPPORT PERSON?? YOURE SUPPOSED TO HELP??

Dorcas: DUDE. IM NOT GOING TO REPEAT MYSELF.

Barty: YOURE NOT MY MOTHER. but fine.

James: STOP BEING GOOFY AND CONFESS

James: THIS IS STRESSING ME OUT

Sirius: YOU??? MF IM THE ONE IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS?

James: DAWG IM SHITTING BRICKS. WE'RE BASICALLY THE SAME PERSON SO

Peter: BRO JUST LEAVE ME ALONE IF YOU WONT LISTEN

Marlene: NO BUT THAT IS SCARY HUH

Lily: I DONT GIVE A FUCK. SAY IT.

Marlene: I'm telling Pandora you're being mean

Lily: I DONT GIVE FLYING FUCKS IM TRYING TO HELP YOU

Barty: shape one into a dick

Evan: bro there's children around

Dorcas: well she told me her name and I told her mine??

Barty: ... Congratulations?

Evan: hit the jackpot fr

Dorcas: I'm gonna stop talking to you both

Regulus: I love being the unproblematic bystander

Lily: ew I feel like a mother

Marlene: mommy lily

Lily: no pls I hate that

Mary: what about mother Lily?

Peter: I need help with the personality

James: uhmm.. harsh at first? Smoker definitely

Sirius: has a penis

Remus: HAS A PENIS? 😭

James: everythings possible

Dorcas: lesbians liking men

James: oh yeah. That's not possible.

Sirius: why don't you just fall for a friend?

James: eh idk.. most of em are taken

Sirius: wow ok I'm offended

James: don't you like Remus?

Sirius: still.. thought that counts..

Barty: potter doesn't think I'm scary, right?

Regulus: of course not! He thinks you're terrifying!

Remus: my coffee tastes like sad bean water :((

Sirius: put creamer in it

Remus: oh right I forgot

James: I appreciate you sm I love you

Sirius: I love you more??

James: impossible. I love you more.

Sirius: possible. I love you most.

James: I love you mostest.

Sirius: I love you more than mostest.

James: I love you more than more than mostest.

Sirius: that makes no sense what and you're wrong like its not possible

(Remus and Regulus side eyeing the fuck out of them both)

Evan: oh my gosh we both have siblings.. soulmates fr.

Regulus: i wanna be on your level of delusion

Sirius: how bout Remus turns around and looks at ME like that

James: id look at you like that

Sirius: THAT CAUGHT ME OFF GAURD.

Sirius: my life is so boring I need real drama

Peter: id create drama but being involved takes a lot of effort