#....how am i supposed to do normal things today

[keferon]

Ok i said i would do itater, but this was done for my sister who got really hurt and wanted comfort out of my drabble, shout out to you @saltynsassy31 XD

This will probably be very OOC bc again, i am NOT too acquainted with these characters

So apologies in advance, but i think this will still be very entertaining for you :]

So yeah, here's part 2!

---

Jazz was tired, they haven't given him much time to rest since he came back. And even if they did, it's not like he could rest anyways, thinking about....about Prowl.

No way he could have just left him, right? After everything....it just didn't feel right, and the way they spoke to him about it too. Call him crazy but something in his gut told him they were hiding something from him. But it just never seemed enough to push him to look into it (oh how he would regret that for the rest of his life)

Today was supposed to be a normal routine check to the new mechas, with new recruits coming in for him to teach.

Jazz was given a new mecha suit, despite his protests to it (which surprised even him honestly, but it just didn't feel right). He hadn't gotten the chance to see it yet, today was the day they would present the new model, though it was said to be in its early stages still.

...

He doesn't know how it happened, how he'd gotten here, but all he knew was that he had seen red. When he gotten to see his new mech suit, it seemed oddly familiar in touch, in fact something about it made him feel sick to his stomach.

Small dents and scarring coated the plating around the panels that opened to the cockpit. He recognised that plating, from crawling on it with his magnets, sleeping on them comfortably despite being made of metal (there was something so warm about it, but that warmth was....lost. He wanted to puke). But what broke the string holding him together, a scar, a scar so familiar it sent him back to the exact moment he witnessed his partner getting it in the first place.

Jazz had weilded that shut himself, they had gotten in a bad scuffle a while back, and with worry he wanted to try and make sure Prowl wouldn't be in too much pain before they could get some proper help.

"Jazz?" Someone called out to him. That was the last thing he remembered.

Now? Now he stood by the halls in which they didn't allow the likes of him inside, the halls in which the scientists worked on. He made a fast dash to the last room, the room one of the scientists told him had the one he was looking for (though he wasn't proud to admit he had perhaps aggressively gotten that answer out of the poor guy). He had a weird unknown blaster weapon with him that he had ripped from the mech suit he was supposed to try out (deep down, he hoped that weapon didn't belong to Prowl. He hoped that he wasn't too late), using that, he blasted the door open hoping that would keep anyone from stopping him from getting inside.

As soon as Jazz layed his eyes on the scene before him; his partner hanging from wires holding him into place, chain keeping him from leaving, mutilated almost beyong recognition save his face, and with a small weak staticked cry from his partner, "Jazz?" the small bit of awarness he had gained back was gone again. All he could do in that moment was to yell, a desperate cry that came from the pits of his lungs.

"GET AWAY FROM MY PARTNER!"

And in another flurry of motions he didn’t have complete control over, he was beating the ever living hell out of the prick who decided it was a good idea to mess with HIS partner! He didn’t even know how long he had been at it until the twisted man he called a boss scratched his face, small bits of blood flowing out. In shock and pain, he grabbed the man by the neck of his shirt and threw him to the otherside of the room. Once he was certain that he wouldn't be getting up again, he turned to face Prowl once more, running and calling out to him as he ran to scoop up his beloved's face, blurting out a mess of an apology.

"I'm so sorry, i shouldn't have brought you here- we, we need to get you out-"

Oh did the guilt eat him up from the inside, he- he shouldn't have brought him here. Prowl probably hated him right now, but the sudden distant bell of an alarm down the halls had him scrambling to his feet to try and make things right.

Suddenly, as adrenaline slowly faded off, he realised how much damage he had actually taken throughout his rampage, a limp on his left leg catching up to him. Stinging pain on his face and limbs, but he needed to keep moving, they weren't safe yet.

"I have to get you to a safe place," he mumbled, mostly to himself, "and- and then maybe call for help. Oh but who could i even go to?" As he spoke, he started to set Prowl's limbs free from it's chains, gods they were so damaged, he could barely look at the missing parts. But as he worked his way through, he let out small sighs of relief to see that at least, he seemed to not be missing some vital parts. He could still maybe make a run for it, if only he could stall the facility long enough-

"You really shouldn't have...."

Jazz turned in shock, Prowl's voice snapping him out of his panicked haze.

"Prowl..." if he wasn’t crying already, now he certainly was. Gods he fucked up badly.

Not having the courage to face the other just yet, he turned back to the chained leg he had been working on. Prowl didn't seem to have wanted an answer either way, sitting up as he watched the organic do his work (Jazz tried to ignore the missing arm).

As he finished getting rid of the chain, he got up again, letting out a hiss of pain from his injuries (which did not go unnoticed by the mech). Clutching his left side as a bleeding cut let out a terrible stinging sensation which he doesn't think he'll ever get used to, he walked over to the final limb stuck under chains. As he walked over, he briefed over the quick plan he thought of

"Look, i- i know you might not trust me right now-" a huff, almost soundling like a disbeliefing chuckle, was heard from the mech, Jazz ignored it. "But there is a place you can go to and hide, hide- hide until maybe i can get help or- or find a way to send you back-"

"You wouldn't make it that far." Prowl spoke, matter of factly, which got a hit under Jazz's skin

"I know that! Which is why you will make a run for it. There's an exit by the other side of this room where you can leave-"

A sudden realisation hit Prowl. Jazz wasn't planning on coming with him.

And the human nodded, seeming to understand that Prowl finally got what he was saying. As he reached the last final screw to Prowl's chains, he finished off what he was trying to say "I'll keep them busy long enough for you to leave," before he could finish, as the final screw was let lose and Prowl was free to move, he felt himself be lift up from the ground and let out a startled yelp. "Wha- HEY!"

It took Jazz being shoved inside Prowl's cockpit for him to realise that he had been picked up by the mech (maybe a possible concussion he thought to himself). Jazz couldn't even try to jump out as, despite it missing the plating to shut him inside, Prowl placed his servo up to close to exit.

Desperately and confused, Jazz called out, "What are you doing?!"

To be entirely honest, Prowl wasn't sure himself, he was just as confused as the human to his actions, usually so full of logic. This one was acted apon pure emotion. Emotion of fear, anxiety, anger but most importantly

Desperation

Because somehow, this stupid human had his spark between his fingers, and he'd be dammed if he let him get himself killed just for him.

This isn't how he would want to say goodbye

---

Thanks again, to my sister who pushed me to write this, and also helped out in some parts!

Might have done more if i could, but it's super late rn lol (it's 4am and our mon will kills us for staying up this late).

Again sorry for any OOC moments, but i hope this was to your enjoyment! Maybe i can do a part 3 to this, but idk enough about how things work to do that, so i let anyone be free to mess around with this :]

Oh my... oh fuck I can't. I just keep thinking about Prowl pressing his palm on his chest even when other humans eventually get to him and start shooting. He's a mess, half of his armor is missing he's probably leaving an energon trail behind him. But he knows that while it would take a lot of bullets to take him down, it would take only one lucky bullet to kill Jazz. I'm. AUGh

[wutheringwisteria]

"...Are you listening?"

Curly snaps out of his trance, turning to meet Anya's gaze. He chuckled for a brief moment, but it was humorless. "Yeah, yeah, damn. I'm so sorry." His blue eyes flickered down to the table between them. "Couldn't sleep again," he admitted. He shakes his head and looks up at her again. "But I passed the psych eval?"

Anya pursed her lips together. "Well, you gave the same answers as last time," she stated, remembering the details of the captain's result. "I do wish you'd open up a little more, Captain. These evaluations aren't just about you."

"As long as I'm fit to fly in your eyes, Anya," Curly says smoothly, a smile coming to cross his face. His tone was teasing, and he felt a little lighter when Anya smiled back at him. Curly had noticed the medic being more... sluggish these past few days, so it was nice to see that she's still staying strong.

"Oh, stop it." Anya huffs. "Guess that means I only have one more eval left to do. Y/N is probably answering hers right now."

"Oh, speaking of Y/N..." Curly started, his expression turning a little more bashful. "How... how is she? Is she doing alright? It's been awhile since we've talked to each other."

Anya raises a brow but doesn't comment on Curly's evident worry. They always seemed so close, after all. "She's okay. She didn't lash out today, so I think that's a start on her anger management."

Curly nodded, feeling the tension within his body leave. "Ah, I'll take your word for it. And for the last guy... let me guess, Jimmy?"

Anya's smile falters at the mere mention of the man's name. She was silent for a moment before finally speaking. "He acts as if I do these things for fun. Then I have to make a report with things like... 'I have found myself sexually excited at the sight of cartoon horses'."

It's an unusual answer, and it made the medic very uncomfortable. But Curly laughs, finding the situation more lightly than it's supposed to be. "Hah! Well, I could take it off your hands," he offered.

Anya lit up. "Really?"

"I've known him a long time. He won't try any bullshit with me," the captain stated matter-of-factly.

"I suppose you are the captain," replied Anya, her voice still a little hesitant.

"I am the captain."

The smile returns to Anya's face once she realizes that she won't have to face Jimmy. "Thank you! What a relief. Oh, before I forget, Swansea asked me to give you this." She takes out a yellow piece of paper and hands it to Curly.

He accepts it and reads what was written. In Swansea's handwriting, it read, THEY CAN'T EXPECT ME TO PERFORM MIRACLES!!!

"Not sure what it means, but... sounds like fun!" Anya chirped, her demeanor returning to normal. "Good luck, Captain!"

Curly gives her one last smile before leaving the medical room.

🫧

Curly stops in his tracks for a moment; he swore he captured the smallest glimpse of H/C locks turning a corner. He stares a little longer at said corner, debating whether to catch up with you or talk to Swansea and Jimmy. As much as he would very much rather prefer the former, he was the captain and had responsibilities he needed to take.

Not that you weren't a part of his responsibility or anything; you were just as important as the rest. But why does his chest ache slightly whenever you look at him with nothing but disinterested eyes? You didn't gaze at him that way back then; what changed?

Quickly shaking that thought off, Curly continued advancing towards the utility room. He was a grown man; sure, he had a huge crush on you since high school and still do until today, but that doesn't mean he needs to act like a schoolboy over it.

Get it together, Curly. You're the captain, act like it!

He reaches the hallway and sees Jimmy standing right outside. The door to the utility room was open, and the sounds of Swansea's yelling ended up outside. "And Pony Express says they don't provide on-board entertainment." Jimmy chuckled, a hint of a smirk on his face.

"Feels like there's always something broken in that room," remarked Curly, briefly glancing inside before looking back. "Tulpar's starting to show her age."

"Passed inspection, right? Shouldn't be an issue," claimed Jimmy.

"Mhm. Plus, they added Daisuke last minute. Didn't account that there'd be six of us now." Curly brings up a hand to run it through his blond locks. "I really should've made a bigger stink about that."

Curly enters the utility room and walks towards Swansea and Daisuke, the latter currently being trapped by the ship's oddly hard foam. "Well, I can see the issue," he says, trying not to crack a smile.

"The kid was brought on just to make me suffer!" Swansea chastised, his face contorted into a scowl and had his arms crossed. "Intern my ass..."

Daisuke frowned. "I was just trying to fix the vent! How did that trigger the emergency foam?!"

Swansea turned to glare at him. "Because yer talented in all the wrong ways!" The older man looks back at Curly. "I woulda dealt with this, but only you can unlock the axe case. Every goddamn thing has to go through you."

Curly nodded. "I'll handle it. Hang in there, Daisuke," he reassured before turning around and walking towards the axe case. He finds his code scanner latched onto his belt and revealed the secret code. Curly proceeds to enter the exact numbers, successfully opening the case and taking out the axe.

He went back to the struggling Daisuke with the axe in his hands. Curly was careful not to accidentally strike the young man as he cleared off the hard foam. After a few seconds, Daisuke could finally move his legs and was freed from the emergency foam.

"Yeowch! Oof. Strong stuff, huh?" Daisuke joked, exuding a small grin and trying to lighten the mood of his mistake.

But Swansea was not amused. "Get it through your goddamn skull! That vent is strictly off limits! Fully fuckin' collapsed inside! You looking to get impaled, electrocuted, and cooked?!" He berated with a hint of exasperation.

Even though the senior member was displaying anger, he was worried. Curly can see it, but he knows Swansea would rather take a bullet to the head than to admit anything like that.

"You can't fit in there to fix it, right?" Daisuke suddenly said.

Cue awkward silence.

"So I can totally handle it-"

"Captain." Swansea looks directly into Curly's eyes. "Give me the axe."

"Swansea, this could've damaged the pods. You can't let something like this happen again." Curly sighed, still holding onto the axe in his hands.

"Yeah, yeah. I got it. Loud and clear."

The blond captain smiled, nodding. "Keep the axe until all of this is clean, yeah?"

Curly turned and left the mechanic and intern to clean up the mess. As he walks, he gets stopped by Jimmy. He looked like he was watching the whole thing go down from the doorway.

"I take it Anya diagnosed you with being sane then?" asked Jimmy, looking gruff as always. Something's weighing him down, considering his rather unclean appearance.

"Just off center, but it's what keeps me on my toes." A playful grin appears on Curly's face. "I said I'd do yours. I want to hear all about those cartoon horses. Is that something you were born with or a recent develop-"

"Alright, alright. Shut up." Jimmy scoffs, his eyebrows furrowing. "Let's go to the cockpit." The man didn't wait for his friend to reply, as he's already storming down the hallway.

Curly rolls his eyes. "I gotta do something first; wait for me!" He yelled out. He turns his heel and jogs down the other way.

It didn't take long for him to find the small laundry room of the ship. Just as expected, you were in front of one of the washing machines, hands on your hips as you continuously kicked the poor machine. "Damn it. Piece of junk, work!" you grumbled out.

Curly clears his throat, leaning against the doorway. "Uh, hey," he was already cringing at himself at the tone he used.

You turn your head. The already tired expression you had seemingly hardened at the sight of Curly. "It's you," you said plainly. "What is it?"

Curly presses his lips together, forming a thin line. He notices the coldness in your voice right away. "I... I just wanted to talk. Y'know, since it's been some time."

You roll your eyes, crossing your arms, and look back down at the broken washing machine. "There's nothing to talk about."

Curly frowned, pulling himself away from the doorway. He takes one cautious step inside before taking a few more and ending up just a few meters away from you. "Look, he's a good guy—"

"Like hell he is. This isn't high school anymore, Curly. There's no detention or juvenile center to lock him up in," you finally face Curly, your expression serious. "Jimmy is a dangerous man. You of all people should know that. He can hurt us, and I won't be surprised if he does."

Curly flinches slightly at the blunt words directed towards his best friend. As much as he would like those words to be nothing more than false claims, he knew deep down that all of it was true.

"He's your friend too, Y/N. Have a little faith, he's getting better." Curly pressed on, giving you a wavering smile. "Jimmy promised to change for your sake, after all. You know he never breaks his promises."

"You don't know just how many he had broken in the past." You just shake your head. "Actions speak louder than words. I'll believe he's getting better when I see the progress. But I swear, if he's the reason we end up dead before we reach our destination, I won't forgive you."

Curly knew that there wasn't anything he could say to lower your guard down, even by just a little bit. So he nods his head in understanding. "...Okay, I'll get going now."

He turns, but before he leaves, he turns his head to look back at you. "Oh, and one last thing. Please... take care of yourself. Wouldn't want you passing out by overworking yourself with the ship's mess."

You blink, a little surprised, but quickly regain your stoic facade back. "...Fine."

With that said, Curly left. You turn back to the washing machine and groan when it still isn't working. "Damn it."

🫧

Some time later.

"For the last time, I'm not wearing that stupid party hat."

"C'moonnnn, Y/N. You gotta wear one, birthday rules and stuff!" Daisuke continues, practically shoving the colorful cardboard cone in your face. "It's the Captain's special day, and we gotta make it count!"

You grumbled a string of foreign profanities under your breath, glaring at the younger male. He was so smiling that it makes you physically recoil back. You tried to refuse once more, already turning your back to continue your job when Daisuke suddenly lunged at you.

Your back hits the floor, and you let out a groan. "What the hell?!"

"Sorry, Y/N, but this is the only way I can think of to get you to wear it!" claimed Daisuke. He had a determined look on his face as he forcibly put on the birthday hat on your head.

Anya and Swansea, who were both watching from the sides, couldn't help but smile at the sight. They found it quite amusing in their own way, and it was actually really nice to see you with anything but a scowl.

The cone was now securely on top of your head, Daisuke making sure to tie the knot extra tight so you wouldn't take it off when he pulls away. "There! Now you look a lot friendlier. I'm sure Captain will be swooning and having hearts in his eyes when he takes a look at you!" he joked, but you didn't laugh.

"Shut it! He doesn't like me that way," you scoffed, pushing him off lightly and standing up. You give a sharp glance towards the other two. "Why the hell are you two looking at me like that?"

"Hm? Nothin', nothin'," Swansea says, but even he couldn't suppress a slight chuckle.

"You look very... cute in that hat." Anya smiles, her gaze filled with both amusement and something else that you can't make out of.

"No? No, I don't. Shut up."

Anya finds your reaction even more endearing. "Sure you aren't."

"Alright, ladies. Stop flirtin'. Captain'll be here any second now, and we're just standing around like idiots," stated Swansea, sounding gruff as ever.

"What're you all doing?" Another voice joined in.

You all turned around to see Jimmy, who had just entered from the other doorway.

"We're planning a surprise birthday party for the Captain!" Exclaimed Daisuke, already bringing up another party cone. "You should totally join too, Jimmy!"

"Yeah, no," Jimny rejected bluntly.

Daisuke and Swansea exchange glances, the latter nodding his head. That same mischievous smirk on Daisuke's face returned as he faced Jimmy once more.

Jimmy senses that something is up. "Hold on, what are you doing? Why are you coming near me?" But it was too late; the intern had already lunged at him.

"AGH!"

🫧

Shit.

Was all that Curly is thinking about right now. He was already imagining the faces of the rest. Shock, anger, and disbelief. Hell, even if only he gets paid at the end, it didn't feel right taking the money.

Sighing, he gets out of the captain's seat and exits the cockpit. His footsteps echo in the metal corridors, each step weighing heavier than the last. He crumpled up the letter from Pony Express, stuffing it into his pocket.

He traverses through the hallways until he finally reaches the door to the main lobby. With another, heavier sigh, he lets his presence known as the automatic doors open.

Only to be left surprised when party horns started blaring as soon as he entered.

"Surprise!"

"Suuurpriiiise! Look at your face!"

"Heheh. Gotcha!"

"...Cheers."

"Surprise."

Curly blinks owlishly, taken aback for a moment. "Uh. Wow." A fuzzy feeling forms from within his chest, and he can't help but crack a smile. "...What"s the, uh, occasion?" He asked.

"We only get one communal birthday party per trip, right?" stated Anya. "So we can have it whenever."

Jimmy sighs. "Only one person can really be surprise birthday-ed per trip. We did Swansea last haul, remember?"

Daisuke turned to Jimmy, shock written all over his face. "No way! I can't believe I missed that!"

But the man ignores him. "You were next on the list. So, congratulations," Jimmy continued. He brings up a hand to scratch his neck. "Hate to say it though, your duties have to extend to your own birthday party."

"You're the only one with the clearance to make the cake," chimed in Anya. "The recipe is there by the machine. Hop to it, Captain!"

With that, the group dispersed throughout the main lobby, all smiling and completely unaware of the devastating news that was kept in Curly's pocket. The Captain decides not to reveal it yet, wanting to enjoy the moment.

His eyes landed on you, and a smile crossed his face. "Hey," he greeted. "How'd you manage to get roped into this? I was genuinely thinking that you'd hide in your quarters until this celebration died down like last time."

You can't help but roll your eyes once more, not making any effort to hide your annoyance. "That's because we didn't have Daisuke last time. Trust me, I would've locked myself in my quarters if not for that damn ray of sunshine."

Curly chuckled at the accurate depiction of their new intern. "Yeah, kid's livelier than a puppy. Say, you wanna help me bake this cake?"

You think about the offer for a moment before shrugging and then nodding. "Sure."

With your acceptance, the both of you made your way towards the kitchen on the side. Curly uses his code scanner, and you two begin making the cake, with you standing by the food dispenser and Curly using the mixing thing.

From the sidelines, Jimmy watches you both. He could feel the smallest bit of envy from inside him. He was already in a bad mood earlier, and getting dragged into this birthday surprise was the last thing he wanted to do. But now seeing you with Curly and actually looking like you were enjoying yourself a little, it made his blood boil.

After awhile, the group settles down on the table in the middle of the room. A small and simple tune of the happy birthday song plays after the final cake is made.

Curly brings it over to the table and sets it down before you and him take your spots.

Everyone now looks at Curly, with Daisuke being the first one to speak. "You gotta make a speech!"

"Can't argue with that," said Jimmy, who conceals his displeasure well.

"Speech! Speech! Speech!" Chanted Daisuke.

"Go on!" Added Anya, joining in.

Curly hesitated, his smile faltering. "I..."

Jimmy narrows his eyes. "...Hey. What's wrong?"

You also begin to notice something with Curly. "You got that look that tells me something's up. What is it?"

The blond man took a deep breath and began revealing the news to all of you.

...

...

...

"That's all it said on the report from management," Curly concluded, pressing his lips together and forming a thin line. He can already feel the atmosphere change significantly after the revelation.

Pony Express was going under, and no one would get paid except for him. "We will receive the paycheck for this delivery. I don't know any more than that."

"Pony Express finally kicking the bucket, huh." Swansea's words were laced with unfiltered disdain. "What a joke. And we're the punchline."

Anya's mood had changed drastically, panic and worry consuming her eyes. "I don't have any savings," she says. "T-They can't just do this, right...?"

Swansea turns his head towards her. "Pony Express was one of the last manned crew freighter companies. The writing's been on the wall for a long time."

"When did they tell you?" Jimmy asked, his voice cutting through the air.

"Earlier this week," Curly says. "I was instructed to wait until we're closer to the haul destination," he felt the guilt starting to consume him, even though he couldn't control any of this. "But I can't keep something like this from you all."

You clicked your tongue, your hand going up to massage your temple. "You're too damn nice for your own good, Curly. It's hard to tell if you're really Captain or not when you do shit like this."

But before Curly could even respond, Jimmy spoke first. His voice held the same amount of disappointment as yours, tinged with a hint of anger. "So I guess you got what you wanted. Without the guilt."

"Jim..." A heavy sigh escapes from the captain's mouth. "If I had known..."

But the man doesn't let him continue. "I can go back to my, how'd you put it? Struggle of a life?"

"Anya never got into medical school because she's... well, let's be real. And how many employment years Swansea got left in him? Daisuke will be fine; mommy and daddy have him covered. So there's that at least. But you."

Jimmy scoffed. "Headed for bigger and better, right?"

"I'm just... I'm just working on my life being a place I don't have to fucking escape!" Curly snapped. "That's what I was trying to tell you, nothing mor-"

Jimmy slams his hand on the table and yells, "We're the ones you're trying to escape!"

"Leave the dirt behind now that your boots are clean," he continued.

"That's not what I meant," replied Curly.

"It is what you meant," Jimmy sneered. "You just couldn't frame it to yourself in a way that kept you as a hero. Abandon the crew but remain the model captain."

Regrettably, Curly didn't have anything to say. He was conflicted.

"Unbelievable." Huffed Swansea.

Anya buries her face in the palm of her hands. "What... what am I supposed to do?"

Daisuke held his tongue, remaining silent. He didn't know what exactly was going on, but it was clear that this wasn't turning into a happy occasion.

You glared at Curly, who in turn flinched upon immediately noticing it. "I don't even know what to say."

Jimmy leaned back against his seat, crossing his arms. "Let's have some fucking cake, hmm? Props to the twilight crew of Tulpar. Props to our Captain and his new prospects." The words were mocking and venomous.

Curly didn't say any more, his hands moving almost robotically as he reached for the knife. He could feel everyone's eyes on him, making his skin crawl. Slowly, the blade reaches the cream and moves down.

The cake cutting was odd. Instead of making pieces, he cuts it in half. Literally. The awkward silence suffocated everyone.

Happy Birthday, Captain.

[yuikomorii]

Well, the truth is I've never been a fan of Ayato, nor do I feel particularly attracted to his design no matter how visual it is, I think it's normal that he draws attention being a vampire compared to the rest of mortals or that he fits the Japanese standard since Satoi makes it visual. I don't know, I never liked him when he expressed himself ugly about Yui calling her a chichinasi or when he made derogatory comments about her physique, I know it may sound silly or funny because this is DL and Yui is told and done worse things than that simple nickname, lol XD I say it because I know that Shu tells her worse things in a CD, I don't think he's a bad character, I think that to a certain point he is funny, but meh, I understand those who hate him or don't like him or don't find him attractive, sometimes it's not the appearance but how the character makes you feel, although the game is for masochists I suppose I am too because I also see the game. LOL I love your page <3

// I mean, I understand that every person experiences attraction differently, but by that logic, none of the characters are attractive to you? Since literally everyone insults Yui, and a lot of them even more than Ayato. On top of that, Ayato is more than his insults, and he’s basically the Diaboy who used the 綺麗 (beautiful) word on her the most. xD

I personally dislike Karl’s personality and I’m not attracted to him either, but he’s definitely a very fine man and I can’t deny it.

Moreover, I believe there’s a difference between attractiveness and actual good looks. I know that some people view beauty as something subjective, but it became a social construct in today’s society, which means that there will always be features seen as universally more desirable, and that’s exactly where Ayato fits in. He is made to fit the EA standards the most, yet even in the West he’d undoubtedly be viewed as good-looking by most people. His features strike a perfect balance between youthful charm and elegance, making him appealing not just to those who favor cute guys but also to those drawn to handsome ones.

I find it immature when people start hating on fictional characters, since they don’t even exist, so it’s just a waste of energy. That said, it’s perfectly normal if Ayato, or any other character, isn’t someone’s cup of tea. You can dislike a character while still acknowledging that they’re stunning. That’s why I can’t believe anyone would genuinely think Ayato is ugly. His visuals are practically flawless, and I can’t even imagine how Japanese fans would react if they saw someone calling him unattractive, when these are just FEW of their reactions.

As I mentioned earlier, if you’re not drawn to his design or personality, that’s alright, no problem at all. What really matters is avoiding spreading hate and not trying to convince others that he’s unattractive. As long as you don’t do that, you’re good.

Thank you for enjoying my page though!

[sharpsuite]

I always feel terrible asking for thing but...if anyone had some spare time to send in some prompts or soft unprompted things, that would...genuinely very much be appreciated right now.

[barghest-land]

the concept of dating scares me, what do u mean u met somewhere other than in the server of the dinosaur survival game

[james-spooky]

this is a test

[mars-ipan]

GODDD.

[carcarrot]

oh its so over for me

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[cappurrccino]

google, how do I not be so so so so so scared of taking new medications that I make my whole situation worse before I even pick them up from the pharmacy

[niuxita21]

When you’re so committed to the bit that you don’t stop holding hands even when focusing on a completely unrelated problem A++ for effort ladies

[mrfoox]

except that im mentally dead, i’m good

[schadenfreudich]

Wonderful, no one in this system was normal today in the slighest. We're all fucking weirdos

[lxnarphase]

𓇼 FUCK HER, FLIP HER, BEND HER BACKWARDS !

❤︎₊‧⁺...synopsis : the church always says sex for pleasure is a sin, and nanami kento is a man of the lord. but fuck, if his wife isn't worth sinning for. wc: 4.3k

❤₊‧⁺...cw : n. kento x fem!reader, religious themes, traditionalist views on sex and marriage, loss of virginity, missionary to mating press, breeding kink, overstimulation, unprotected sex, nanami loses himself in your pussy, slight cum play, dirty talk

❤₊‧⁺...lunar's note : am i unintentionally coping with religious trauma? possibly but it is fun :33 anyways based of this! forgive me if my writing is a bit rusty, it's been a while but enjoy !!

the two of you have spoken about eventually having children many times, but knowing the steps it took...it kept you both pushing it back, knowing eventually you'd both be ready.

after speaking with doctors, asking for advice from the church, and having you grumble about the neighbors who welcomed a cute baby girl, the two of you figured it was time.

you did your best to act normal all dayl, trying not to seem to nervous or too excited as you went about your chores for the day.

it may just be an act to procreate, but...it's still your first time with nanami. you want it to at least feel special.

there was nothing in the bible that went against that, right?

well, you have plenty of time to overthink since it seems that your dear husband will be at work late. to pass the time, you wait upstairs in your shared bedroom, the TV on as a distraction.

you're so stuck in your own world that you don't even notice him in the doorway before he clears his throat, leaning in the doorway. "oh! hi, honey, welcome home!" you go to stand up, but he holds up a hand, making you stop before you can get up from the bed.

it's silent, aside from the noise from the TV, and you can feel your stomach flip in anticipation.

has...has he always looked that handsome?

he continues to stand by the door, still not making eye contact. "you said it...starts today, correct," nanami questions, focused on undoing the straps of his watch. it shouldn't be attractive, it's such a simple task...yet it has your stomach doing flips as you nod.

"mhm, my, uh...ovulation starts today." it's such a weird thing to say, it just makes everything feel so...clinical. but that's how it's supposed to be, right? those who use sex for pleasure instead of procreation are sinners, or whatever the reverend at the church says.

"mm."

slowly pulling it off, he sets the watch on the dresser before shutting the bedroom door

"good."

dear god in heaven, you think to yourself, struggling to swallow the saliva pooling inside your mouth as he starts to undress. please forgive me for such inappropriate thoughts about my husband.

he removes his suit jacket—black today, it seems—placing it carefully on his desk chair, followed by his cufflinks and tie. his shirt is next, each button popping to reveal his strong, well-maintained physique.

you have to stop yourself from pumping your fist in the air for getting so lucky with such an attractive man as your husband. too busy ogling him like a horny teenager, you miss him undoing his belt before tugging them down and stepping out of his boxers.

once you do realize he's fully undress, you blush hard once he approaches the end of the bed—it took everything out of you not to stare at that...monster hanging between his legs, dear lord—and climbs onto it, making his way to hover over you.

his eyes roam up and down your body, taking in the pretty silky night dress you had on. It’s a soft blue with lacy white trim with little intricate flower designs.

modest, yet sensual.

"this is new," he comments, voice low and sultry. you can't help but wonder if he meant to sound so...so...

you don't find the correct word for it, but this new tone lights a fire in your stomach that has your r thighs squeezing together just a little bit.

"well, i figured it was an important night...you know, finally popping our cherries a-and starting a family?"

it's a weak attempt at humor, your voice clearly giving away your nervousness. you just pray that he ignores it.

a soft hum leaves him, his fingers playing with the intricately designed lace trim. the idea that you want to make this whole ordeal special, that you want to give yourself to him wholly, and that you want to swell with his child...

it pleases him greatly, a small smile touching his lips.

"well, aren't you sweet, my dearest?"

such simple words, yet they relieve so much tension from your shoulders. you can't help but smile back before a little gasp falls from your lips when his hands start to lift the dress up. his hands, they're so big, so hot on your skin.

It's a struggle to remember that this is for the purpose of producing offspring and nothing else, but you try, you try so hard.

but when you hear the hitch in his breath at the realization you didn't have anything else underneath the dress after he pulls it over your head, it's hard to remember.

the thought just about completely leaves your mind at the way nanami, your usually put-together husband, looks so hungrily down at you, a look you've never seen before in those pretty hazel eyes.

his gaze lingers on your body for a moment, mouth opening before shutting instantly, preventing himself from saying something he'd likely regret.

calm down, kento, he reminds himself, taking a second to clear his mind. this is for the purpose of family, not sinful and carnal desires.

even so, he's drinking in the sight of you, unable to stop his hands from rubbing up and down your sides, the soft skin of you, his wife, warming his palms. all his.

"gorgeous," he mumbles, unaware he even said it.

the moment you feel his leaking cock brush against your leg, a thought occurs to you.

neither one of you has a single idea of how to do this.

sure, you both know enough about putting it inside and moving, but that was about it. is there something else you should do? things you should say, places you should touch to aid in the process?

they never explained the actual process of sex in church, and lord knows your mother and father would've keeled over and died instantly if you were to ask them.

'it comes naturally when god deems it your time' the reverend stated once during a sermon. you fight back a frown, realizing that man probably had even less of an idea of how to do it.

however, the feeling of his tip nudging against your slit rips a gasp out of you, bringing you back into the present.

"are you alright? you left me for a bit there," nanami asks, his brow furrowed in worry. if you weren't ready, he was willing to back off. he may want to fulfill this important aspect of marriage, but...not if you don't want it.

"n-no, i'm okay! just...wondering how all of this is going to work out," you softly reassure, giving a weak giggle.

he can't blame you, he isn't very sure either. but as the man of the house and as your husband, he didn't plan on letting you worry. he would do all the work, you just needed to lay there looking so pretty, so soft, so...he realizes he's doing it again, letting his mind wander to places it shouldn't.

"just...j-just relax, we will figure it out as we go along."

with your silent nod, nanami starts to push his hips forward, hissing silently when he realizes the wetness that greets him.

you were this aroused just from...talking?

the thought of scolding you for letting your mind wander crossed his own, but...it would be hypocritical when his cockhead is dribbling precum all over your soft mound.

you choke out a noise of pain when his cock finally notches onto you and starts to push inside. sure, your wetness helped get the tip and the few inches after it inside, but just that is already too much for you, and you're expected to take all of it?!

you do your best not to move, not really sure what you should be doing. you'd be a good wife and bear with the pain if you had to, your nails digging into the pillow under your head as you braced yourself for the rest of his cock.

but this is absolutely unbearable, how do other women bear with this and have 6 or more children?!

a flicker of concern flashes through nanami's eyes at the sound you made, and he stops moving forward. he may be a bit mean sometimes, but he wasn't cruel.

if you both are going to go through with this, he is not going to make you suffer and nor is he going to force you to endure a painful experience.

no true man of god would do such a thing.

"breathe, don't hold it in," he instructs, his voice somehow calm and collected. one of his hands laces with yours, hoping to provide some sort of comfort as his lips brush against your forehead. "i've got you, darling, the pain will pass, just...tell me to stop if it gets too bad. don't hold it in."

giving a soft nod, you try to match his breathing, your body relaxing and making it easier for nanami to slip the rest of himself inside, a near silent sigh escaping him. the tightness and initial resistance that greeted him nearly made him moan, his cock twitching violently inside of you.

something about the physical feeling and knowledge that you saved yourself for him like you promised years before you both got married sent a surge of possession and pride, knowing he has such a loving and faithful wife who is so willing to give herself up to him like this...he can only hope you feel the same knowing he saved himself for you and only you.

so, as a 'reward'—and totally not because he fears you'll strangle his cock off with how tight you are—he's so gracious to you, not moving to let you get used to the stretch and feel of him inside, the room silent except for your matching breathing.

a few moments go by, and you should feel embarrassed when you feel slick drip out of you and down your ass. the realization that your dearest husband, one of the most faithful men of the church, is letting his cock soak inside of your hot cunt makes you whine a little, slick walls fluttering around him.

he's so fucked.

"a-ah...i'm going to move now," he warns, taking your sudden noise as a good sign. nanami shifts his legs just a bit before giving an experimental thrust, his brow furrowing as he slowly finds a rhythm.

the feeling of your hot and gummy walls is absolutely intoxicating, divine, nothing he's ever felt before.

this is what it felt like?

this is what he waited for?

fuck, it felt...it felt so good.

too good.

for you, the pain completely melts away, and you silently thank god and the angels above for giving you a merciful husband who is so kind as to wait for you to loosen up around him.

little do you know, he would rather kill himself than start moving when you're still adjusting to the pain and stretch.

his gentle movements make you all but melt under him, your eyes fluttering at the unbelievable pleasure coursing through your veins.

no wonder your parents preached about saving yourself until marriage, and thank the heavens you listened.

the very thought of feeling this way with anyone but your kento puts a bad taste in your mouth.

meanwhile, nanami chants prayers in his head over and over again as he tries his best to focus on the 'true' purpose for this.

the sticky, wet, and gooey sensation of your plump cunt sucking him, practically weeping each time he pulls out is just unfair.

the poor man, he's fighting so hard to maintain his composure, to not succumb to the base instincts that those soft moans of yours are beginning to stir within him.

"s-shush, darling," he grits out, hips still following his slow, deep pace. "don't...don't make such noises," he all but pleads, voice tinged with a huskiness that betrayed his growing need for you.

“i-i’m sorry! just, it...feels good, y-you feel good, feels s-so good,” you whisper, hands coming up to cover your mouth and stifle those sickeningly sweet noises.

but of course, that isn’t enough because each push and pull of his cock stirs your drooling cunt, filling the room with wet, filthy squelching sounds.

nothing about this is holy, nanami thinks as he grits his teeth, hands fisting in the sheets next to your head.

look at her.

those soft, muffled noises are truly music to his ears, his pace morphing from the slow, deep grind into a faster pace as your soft body gives into the pleasure.

so wet, so damn tight around my cock., like she never wants to let me pull out.

"k-kento, y-you're goin' too deep, i-i can't be quiet, s'too much!"

messy little pussy, 's beggin' for cum, needs it, needs to feel my tip kissin' her cervix as i pump load after load into her womb.

he knows what that little voice is, and no matter how much he wants to claim that it’s the sound of demons pouring their sinful words into his mind, he knows that it's his thoughts, fueled by those dirty little noises that she can't hold back.

how pitiful, how sinful, doesn't she know she's going against all the teachings they've heard preached every weekend in their church?

doesn't she know she's giving into lust?

doesn't she know her pretty sounds are making his dick throb, painting her insides with his hot, gooey precum?

"hush, 'm not going to t-tell you again, you...you need to be quiet," he growls, the command lacking its earlier authority.

nanami also knows lying is a sin, and he's doing a damned lot of it right now as he tries to convince himself that you need to stay silent. after all, this—this is just a process of giving you both a child, just like you wanted, and nothing else.

but he's lying to himself.

he needs you to be quiet or else he'll lose it.

the poor man is barely holding onto his restraint, and these sweet noises pouring from your mouth aren't helping at all.

"y-you make this so difficult sometimes, my dear..." his voice is rough with need and desire, a stark contrast to his usual composed demeanor. "but, by god, you're...you're. absolutely. exquisite."

he punctuates his words with a particularly hard thrust, grinding his hips into you in a way that has the coarse hair on his crotch to rub against your clit. the pleasure it gives you is electric, your legs coming up to squeeze his hips as you try to grind with him.

his words, his simple praise only makes you hiccup his name, crying out louder as your watery eyes roll back as your needy cunt squeezed down on his fat cock.

you're such a sweet thing, trying oh-so hard to mute your sounds. each snap of his hips is all but driving you insane.

“i-i can’t, ken, y-you don’t understand, i-it feels so good, i-i’m so full! you’re pressing against all the good spots, kentoo, i-i love you s' much, b-but i can't!”

be a good fucking husband and do what you were made to, nanami kento.

his teeth dig into his bottom lip, trying to hard to ignore that temptation purring in the back of his mind.

the voice is so much louder now, echoing throughout his mind and muting any prayers or pleads to be mindful of the sanctity of this whole process.

fuck her. give her what she needs, what she deserves.

but it's too fucking hard, he can't his hips are speeding up, his strong hands moving to grip your thighs, unaware of how they start to anchor behind your knees.

breed your pretty little wife and give her a baby like she deserves.

with a deep groan, nanami finally loses all control, fingers digging into your supple thighs to push them to your chest and practically folding you in half.

this new angle has him openly moaning like a dirty whore, allowing him to plunge even deeper into your tight, gummy walls, the head of his cock kissing your cervix with each and every deep thrust.

"k-ken, kenny, k-ken," you sob, tears catching onto your lashes as your entire being is assaulted by the endless pleasure your husband is giving you. he doesn't even look like your kento anymore, his pupils blown so wide that you can barely see the ring of greens and brown of his iris.

"f-fuck. 's all your fault, you know that," he hisses, eyes narrowing as he weakly glares down at you. but you can see the hearts in his eyes as he gives in to the pleasure.

his dark eyes bore down into yours, the wet plap plap plap plap of his hips slamming into yours almost overpowering his voice. "if y-you just stayed quiet like i asked, w-we wouldn't be here."

a little spurt of wet gushes out of you, making his fall forward into the juncture of your neck with a groan at the dirty noise it makes,

"god, i-i can feel it, y'know? can feel this sticky pussy—such a dirty little pussy—makin' such a mess. saved it jus' for me, didn't you, baby? mmhm—fuckin' hell, 's tight—thank you god f' giving me such an angel of a wife." nanami is huffing nonsense against your neck, pounding into you with a force that has the bed creaking loudly.

if you weren't being fucked stupid, you would be worried he was about to break the bed.

"you can keep that pretty mouth of yours shut, b-but you jus' had to have the noisiest little cunt."

he's so mean, but it only serves to make you gush even more, the way juices pour out of you and only make the already filthy noises even nastier.

"she's talkin' to me, baby, y'hear it? i'm...i-i'm gonna breed you," he manages to whine into your ear, pulling away to press his sweaty forehead against yours.

his tongue, so pink and pretty—you want it in your mouth, want to taste it want to feel it against yours—runs over his top lip as he watches drool drip down the corner of your mouth while you nod brainlessly.

nanami's never felt so dirty, so unhinged, but it feels so right, feels so fucking good. he never wants to leave your pussy, never wants to pull out, this is where he belongs, buried deep inside you as his cock pumps load after load right into your tummy, giving you what you need, what you deserve.

"yeah? you want that? i'll give it to you, baby, promise, 'm gonna be a good husband a-and knock you up, gonna make you a mommy."

that has you keening, tears pouring down your cheeks at the pleasure it shoots up your spine. you know you're close, but it's different.

it feels different, feels too much, there's pressure you've never felt before from the few times you'd cave in and play with your puffy, swollen clit in the shower when you waited for nanami to get home from work to kiss you to sleep.

no, you feel like you are about to fucking explode. "ken, i-i can't, 'm gonna—s-something's coming," you try to warn, your hands fisting in his hair as you tug and tug and tug.

the pull of his hair makes him moan like a slut, it sounds so fucking good. his eyes are rolling back before he rushes to comfort you, pressing soft little open-mouthed kisses against your lips.

you don't need to fight it, you just need to give it to him, give him what he needs.

"shh, shh, don' cry, y' look t'pretty, honey. l-let it happen, cum for me, i've got you, angel, cum for me s-so i can fill you up," he coos, his hips growing erratic as he feels your silky walls starting to fluttering around him, feeling you teeter on the edge of release.

he shifts, just barely, just enough to better position himself to fuck deeper into you. but that slight movement has his cock smushing against something soft and spongy that makes you sob, growing softer and more pliant under him, and you know you are done for as all you can do is wail his name.

"please, pretty girl, cum for me, show me how good 'm making you feel, soak my cock, c'mon, you can do it."

with a loud mewl that nearly has nanami soaking your walls in cum, you dig your nails into his biceps as you finally, finally cum. and you're right, it is different, your cute pussy squirting and creaming all over his dick.

the poor man is choking back a whine, eyes wide in shock as your cunt just gushes slick everywhere, clenching around him like a vice as you cum.

your juices are soaking his cock and balls, splattering against his lower abdomen obscenely. the thought of making you do that again crosses his mind for a split moment before the need to fill you up for being so good overpowers any other thought.

not giving you a break, he continues his unforgiving fucking, ignoring your cries and pleads for him to slow down.

"nonono, shh, shh, shush, you can take it," he coos against your lips, no longer caring if this was sinning or not. all he could think about was the constant squeezing and spasming of your poor overstimulated slit that was milking him toward his orgasm.

you try to squirm away, but the way he has you folded in half has you unable to do anything but accept his stupidly deep thrusts that make you swear you can taste his cock in the back of your throat.

"t-tha's it." he's panting, slurring his words, his fingers digging into the fat of your thighs. it’s so wet, so messy now, but he can't find it in himself to care.

no, all he can think about as he looks down at you is how you'll have that angelic glow as you grow round with his baby, and everyone will know you're his, that he knocked you up, he pumped you full of his cum, that you're his you're his you're all fucking his—

"f-fuck, honey, i-i can't..." his hips stutter as he does his best to maintain his rhythm, but his own release is barreling down on him. his heavy balls are drawing up tight as they slap against your ass, your juices still pouring out and soaking all of him.

"'m gonna fill you up, 'm gonna pump this—this sinful little cunt f-full of m'cum, angel, gonna knock you up, gonna have you drippin' with me, g-gonna give you a fuckin' baby, shit—"

with a deep, guttural groan, nanami hisses your name as he buries himself as deep as possible, his hot tip kissing your cervix as thick, hot ropes of his potent cum pour right into your womb, hips grinding into you and giving little thrusts as you milk his cock weakly despite your overstimulation.

it's—it's so much, he's still cumming, how was all of this inside of him? you can practically feel it sloshing around inside of you, and you whimper when you feel it gush out around his now softening cock, dripping down your ass onto the bed.

a moment or two passes, and he sits up, pushing his sweaty hair out of his face and looking down at you.

oh.

you sweet thing, you're an absolute mess. you have tear streaks down your cheeks, your lips swollen from him unknowingly biting them between the little kisses he was giving you, a pretty sheen of sweat on you, and...

his eyes trail lower to where his dick is still nestled inside of you, and it takes everything in him to not accidentally thrust his hips a little bit.

it's a creamy, sticky mess, a mixture of his and your cum seeping out your poor, abused pussy.

"o-oh. sorry, my love. i'm...not quiet sure what happened there. i apologize for such...foul language," he mumurs, his hand stroking your hip. "'s okay," you softly coo back to him, your eyes fluttering shut as you try to catch your breath. "i-i liked it..."

but you quickly learn you've married both a man of god and a curious, insatiable bastard who can't help but drag his cum all over your pussy, quickly finding your clit. and the reaction you give him is one he decides he likes, your hips canting up as your soft, oversensitive walls squeeze around his cock again.

"k-kento, that's nasty!"

all you get in response is a grumbling noise in his chest as it takes you weakly slapping your hands against his chest to get his eyes to snap away from your gooey, creamy pussy.

clearing his throat, he looks down at you, that heated look slowly creeping back onto his face. "perhaps we...we should try once more. just to ensure it takes," he states, doing his best to show some semblance of dominance.

but it's impossible when his hair is sticking to his sweaty forehead, his pupils blown as he gazes down at your panting form like he's about to devour you whole.

"after all, a...a big family is what god wants from man and woman, right? so we...shouldn't delay and keep trying." his hand trails up your side before finding its way to your breast, squeezing the soft flesh.

his thumb experimentally rolled your nipple, and the way your body reacted, a soft gasp of his name...how is he supposed to explain the feeling he's getting in the confessional booth?

"y-yeah," he gulps, leaning his head down. you can feel his hot breath against your tit, and you swear you feel drool drip onto your breast. "w-we'll keep trying. jus' to make sure w-we do what the scripture asks."

may god forgive him for being such a fucking liar and a damned bad one at that.

all rights reserved © lxnarphase | do not repost, copy, translate, or alter my work

[macabrevampire]

chat i might be mentally ill ( ↖ guy that's suffered tremendously his entire life and is only getting worse)

[systlin]

So, to explain my little adventure I just got back from, it is necessary to set the scene by explaining a few things.

My dog is a Great Pyraneese. She weighs 90 Pounds. It is mostly muscle.

My neighbors a quarter mile down the road have chickens. They like to let them free range.

Now, this is not a problem at all, EXCEPT for the fact that whenever Tyr sees them something deep in her little livestock guardian breed brain goes "Oh, I am supposed to be Responsible for this Livestock." She will attempt to plonk her 90 pound furry ass down as far towards their yard as her leash will permit and want to sit there and simply stare at the chickens. She is not aggressive towards them, she simply wants to lie down and Keep An Eye On Things, the way a good livestock guardian dog is supposed to. It is the same reason she would love to fight the foxes that live under the falling down farmhouse down the street to the death and is very upset that I will not let her.

The PROBLEM is, well

3. My neighbors also have a miniature poodle. She is convinced, in every cell of her 15 pound body, that No Other Dogs Should Come Anywhere Near Her Fucking Yard. She has no concept that Tyr outweighs her by 75 pounds and is absolutely convinced that she could win this fight.

Normally if she's outside she is out in the fenced backyard and this isn't a problem. I also don't let Tyr wander into other yards, because it's rude to let your dog pee on the neighbor's grass unless they've said they're fine with it and also I live in Fuckass Nowhere. There's plenty of county owned grass on the roadside for Tyr to pee on. Still, even if I'm coaxing her along past the chickens, she will want to slow down and drift over to that side of the road to look at them.

TODAY, however, the mini poodle was NOT in the backyard. She was in the unfenced front yard, and as soon as we walked past she saw another dog not ON her yard, but heading TOWARDS her yard, and she hurled herself into battle with no thought for her own safety.

Now, Tyr is not aggressive towards other dogs. There is an exception to this, though, and it is 'unless an off leash dog comes running full speed in the general direction of one of Her People while snarling and barking'. If this happens, I suddenly have 90 pounds of Great Pyr ready for mortal combat on the end of the leash.

This brings us to item 4

4. I broke my left arm in April and while it is healing and good for light use now, 'Light Use' does not include 'restraining 90 pounds of furious livestock guardian dog convinced her person is about to be attacked by a reactive dog'

This means that I looped up the leash short and controlled her one armed. I did not think about this twice particularly. I know I can do it and just. Did it. I wouldn't walk her if I couldn't control her, after all. Once she figured out that no, the poodle was NOT going to attack me, she calmed down, but was still growling.

But I did this as a panicked neighbor dude came running out to try and get his dog, convinced that his kids were about to watch their beloved pet get turned into Great Pyr chow.

Oh and

5. I did this while wearing a Wonder Woman tshirt

So, long story short, his 4 year old daughter is convinced now that I actually AM Wonder Woman, because "She's Strong Like Wonder Woman!" and my neighbor learned that his poodle dug out from under the fence, how's everyone else's days going.

(All dogs unhurt)