#.... yeah definitely allez

[blues824]

Bonjour! Comment allez-vous aujourd'hui? May I request headcanons of Leona and Ruggie with a female bobcat s/o?

Uhhh… uhhhh… hola.

Disclaimer: Female reader.

Leona Kingscholar

It was a school crossover event… one that he was not particularly happy about. Sure, he respected women, and he was borderline terrified of them, but having a girl around would make some members of his dormitory a bit more rowdier than usual. Besides, he would have to attend the mirror ceremony.

However, it was an obligation that he would come to be grateful for, because the moment you stepped through, his senses went quiet. Everything went quiet, save for his increased heartrate. You looked so… gorgeous and badass. But you were quite friendly, actually, and rather quiet.

You were put into Savanaclaw for the time being, and Leona surprised everyone by volunteering to host you. As you got set up in his room, you both got to talking… and there was definitely a clear, mutual interest between the two of you. It didn’t take long for the two of you to start dating, which further surprised everyone.

Often, you both could be found cuddling in his room, either doom-scrolling through Magicam or just sleeping… or something else, if you know what I mean. Anyway, Leona also loved to spoil you, often just giving you his card to spend it on whatever you found online. You didn’t abuse his money, though, since you wanted to meet his family first so that they wouldn’t think you’re a gold-digger.

Speaking of, you absolutely loved Cheka, and the young lion cub loved you and called you his ‘Auntie’. Leona and you laid in his bed as Cheka laid between the both of you as he played a game you installed for him on your phone… and your boyfriend felt his heart pounding as you instructed the little one how to play. His instincts were telling him that he wanted a baby with you right here and now… but that’s for another day and a different blog.

Ruggie Bucchi

Now… he is also intimidated by women, which is probably why he went to this all-boys college. However, when he heard that there was a school crossover happening, he was very intrigued. After all, new victims to steal from. He went with Leona to see who was selected to stay at NRC… but was completely blown away.

You were standing there… as radiant as ever. The hyena could feel his heart pounding against his chest as you met his gaze and smiled. He felt like Mickey Mouse when Minnie pressed a kiss to his cheek. He felt like Thumper when his lovely lady, Ms. Bunny. 

From that point on, his attention focused on you. You needed any help on assignments? Done. You needed help with a creep not being nice to you? Well, that’s what his Unique Magic was for! You wanted to go on a date? Sure, he just needs… wait, what?! Yeah, when he asked you on a date, he was very surprised to see you nodding. You knew he wasn’t from the best of backgrounds, right?

However, he’d be damned if he let the opportunity just pass him by. He picked up more shifts from the jobs he works, and he was able to take you to the Mostro Lounge and pay for the entire bill. His grandmother always taught him not to be a scrub… and that being broke and being a scrub were two different things.

While he wishes he could spoil you more, you assured him time and time again that you just loved spending time with him, and that money was no big deal to you. Instead, you often spoiled him since you saw him working hard a lot. Many donuts and many head scritches from you were enough to make Ruggie think he was the King of the World.

[lz-didyounotice]

The girl with a thousand faces : Part 1

Hey guys! hum warning, this is my first fanfiction on Doctor Who. I wrote this one with the tenth doctor in mind. English is not my primary language, so please be indulgent. This fic will be in two or three parts depending on what the general reaction will be :0 So hum yeah. Also in the first chapter, you're given a certain name, but it will not be definitive.

Froggit-

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3

-------------------------

Your destiny wasn’t what you could call “normal”. For a human at least. 

Playing, studying, going to college, finding a job, having a family, and growing old, could be called a winning ticket. You, on the other hand, had to deal with something else for as long as you could remember. 

Remembering. Here was something you were good at, something you had done for dozens of years without even understanding why it was happening. All those faces, all those lives you had to leave behind you. A single heart that had to grow again and again, without knowing where it would end up next, what language it would speak, what future it would be. 

A miracle some would call it. To you, it was purely a curse. The process of dying, being conceived again, growing up, and remembering your past lives, was getting tiring as the years came by. But here you were once again. And this time, your death had been quite special. Never would you have imagined dying to free a city.

------------------------

Paris was beautiful, it was true. But too many people lived there for it to be breathable. Summer was a pain in the ass, having no air circulating between buildings, and the cramped space of the streets, making the temperature grow higher each passing day. It wasn’t bearable. Breathing wasn’t easy, and there was as much that water could solve. 

Today was one of those days. Waking up to windows covered in craft paper to reduce the heat coming in the house, the rod from your old shutters, still in a corner of your room waiting to be saved. A kitchen, a little too small for even one person, and a pan to heat the water. A simple life in a busy city.

The bus had taken its sweet time to arrive, making you late for work. As soon as you entered the small café, you were in for quite a lot.

“Oh! Louise te voilà enfin! t’as presque une demie heure de retard, Naeva te cherche partout. J’ai mis ton uniforme dans l’arrière boutique 

oh! Louise! here you are, you’re practically Half an hour late, Naeva was searching for you. I put your uniform in the back

-Ah! Merci beaucoup Fély! je ne sais pas ce que je ferais sans toi. Désolée pour le retard, mon bus a encore été dévié.

Ah! Thanks a lot, Fély! I don’t know what I would do without you! Sorry for being late, my bus took another route again.

-C’est pas à moi qui faut dire ça, allez dépêches toi, on ouvre dans 5 minutes.”

I’m not the one you should tell this, and hurry up, we open in 5 min.

With a big smile, you walked by the kitchen to finally get dressed in your work attire.

---------------------------

Working wasn’t a passion. Making drinks had become mechanical long before even entering this café. Made it more of a chore to keep a place to live. 

Even with the knowledge of a thousand years, you had stayed here, certain that something special would happen in this life. This “something special” came with the name of John Smith. A beautiful man in a striped suit, bearing a gorgeous smile. Never would you have guessed that this man could bring so much trouble with him. 

You were happy to have learned how to regain your memory faster. And practicing sports did wonders. But Running from potato-headed soldiers wasn’t how you imagined your Monday to go. Their guns secured in hand while they tried to shoot you and the man beside you. 

Somehow, you managed to get shot in the side. Sure it hurt like a bitch, but it wasn’t your first rodeo with this kind of injury.

Making a new turn, the two of you had entered a small building. As soon as the door was closed, you heard a weird vibrating sound and saw “John” hunched over the door lock.

“It should last us a bit before they can get us.

-Who the heck are you ?! You seem to know an awful lot about what those are.  

-I’m the Doctor.

-The Doctor? What kind of doctor runs from bald potato soldiers?

-I could ask you the same. And you were also shot. Do you think you can still help?

- I might die either way. Let me be useful….”

“ So… what is the plan? “

-----------------------

The Sontarans had tried to sneak a bomb on Earth. Similarly to a mine, someone had to walk on it for it to detonate. In this case, only a human could make it explode. The bomb was still on their ship, and the Doctor had found their teleporter. 

The safe was easy to find, but to take down the fleet, the bomb had to be activated. 

“Doctor, I know it’s not the best option, but I'm the only one here able to make the ship go down. I’m already injured so it wouldn't be a big loss. You'll probably find me again in another life anyway. You, on the other hand, I’m not entirely sure.

-What do you mean another life ?! You're not dying, not on my watch…!”

The brunette seemed stressed. You knew he was trying to hide it, but you had too much time in your life to know what was going on in his head.

“You know what? Can I promise you something?

-I don’t think I quite follow but go ahead.

-I promise you, I'll always come back. No matter what. Might take a few human years but I'll always be back. No matter the life. “

The doctor seemed surprised. Humans surely made shallow promises in the hope of making things better, and to make others less guilty. But the sincerity of your voice made him believe it, and it scared him.

“Who are you, Louise....?”

All you gave him was a small smile before picking yourself up, blood still spreading on your shirt despite having transformed your apron into a temporary bandage. Only three digits were necessary to open the door. Your hand on the lock, the door slides open, and the monstrosity you had before your eyes made you want to throw up. You knew of the pain that was going to go through you. It wasn’t your first death by a bomb, but the last blasted your brain in tranches below the surface.

The bomb looked like a normal sewer lid, it would have been easy for a citizen to mistake it for a normal one. Checking Behind you, you had hoped to see the face of the doctor one last time before taking a step.

His eyes held sorrow, convinced that he had to make something else work. In comparison yours held hope, knowing that it wouldn’t be your end. But as red lights came into existence, he had to run. His eyes turned as he ran away to get to safety.

Once you knew he was far enough, as your foot barely touched the bomb, you felt your skin burn like a thousand suns. It was almost welcoming.

Darkness took over, letting you sink into the unknown.

---------------------

Has you opened your eyes again, all you could see was the face of a beautiful woman. A halo was drawn on top of her head, as she whispered a sweet lullaby.

making gurgling noises, you finally reached for her nose, desperate to touch something again. And all you saw was her smile as she put her head against yours. Your name fell beautifully from her lips. 

“Welcome to the world… Y/N Noble…”

[utb-biephasic-terror]

Introduction And Warnings

Dead Dove Do Not Eat: It has what it says on the tin/ things are occasionally morally dubious without karma, instant karma, or obvious karma.

Specific Warnings:

Politics, gender identity issues, family abuse, swearing, suicide, depression, mental health issues, overarching themes of sex, drugs, alcohol, addiction, cosmic horror, fantasy "current events", and criminal violence.

---

This is a world meant to be explored through dialogue. You will know as much as you explore, and redundant questions will be accepted, especially questions on a character's opinion. Tastes and attitudes shift.

---

The past is unimportant. All that matters is the present and what you believe. Are you funny? Entertaining? Useful? What are your views on the recent Humanization trend-- have you tried it? Can we associate with you? Are you safe for us? Don't give us that look. Keep up. You have bills due by the end of this week. You can focus on your family later, what do you think the weekend's for? Keep your head down and clock in, you damn Scorpio.

Monsters and Humans. They might not have ever been apart. The Surface might exist, it might not-- everyone has their own thoughts on it. Hey, did you hear about the shooting down in the Winter District? I hear-- what, architecture? What about it? Oh yeah, there's pink and blue neon lights everywhere. Hm? Yeah, of course it's a city. Why wouldn't it be? Yeah, a big one. Nah, not everything, there's farmland outside of it. Most of them live in the city, though. No. No-- yeah, but there's a lot of money in the city. What was that? --Wait, I have another call coming in. Yeah, man, I'll talk to you later, bye.

*CLICK!*

---

You are allowed to ask any character, as long as you know their name. You are allowed to give gifts and physically interact with characters-- but the characters have the right to ignore, reject, and accept interactions at their own in-character discretion.

For asks with a combination of characters from different Worlds (example: Underfell Bright Sans and Underswap Beam Grillby), ask @undertalebrittle. It is the home of the Brittle Void.

---

Revealed Roster:

Frisk

A little girl who wanders wherever her instincts take her and makes both a great deal of friends and a great deal of trouble for her parents. Speaks in clown-nose-honk noises. Often talks to her dad, the only person who can accurately decipher her speech, about her best friend, Flowey the flower. Takes Flowey everywhere she goes and tries to feed him bits of what she's eating, even though he "can only feed off the cosmic energy of the infinite Multiverse and its complex fractal frequencies" …whatever that means. Frisk often has sleepovers with her friend, Asriel, and his spunky sister, Undyne. *excited clown nose honking sounds*

Flowey

Frisk's "imaginary" friend who guides her out of trouble. An eldritch abomination by definition. *silence*

Sans (Teer)

The oldest of the Terror Brothers-- works for a shady loan company. Doesn't enjoy the company of others. Presentable, but keeps people at arm's length and doesn't interact much outside of work. Hasn't used a vacation day in years. Mentally rejects the fact that the Brittle Void exists, even when he's standing in it. Afraid of cigarettes, but chain-smokes. "Thanks, but I don't want what you're selling. Have a good day."

Gaster (Phasicor)

The neurotic, forgotten middle brother who works at a convenience store. His body has oddly stretched out proportions-- his hands reach his calves, and he surpasses Vendetta's height. Frisk is his daughter, and Allez is his girlfriend. Afraid of cigarettes. Has a speech impediment, and avoids conflict. "I-- I-- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, I--"

Allez (Pierrot)

An "exotic dancer" Frisk's mother, and technically Gaster's girlfriend. Sees people as a way to get by, and has no trouble imposing if there's something she wants. Diabetic, and has a noticeably short temper with energetic, intense, or emotional folks. Unapologetically brings work home with her. "You almost sound like you love me."

Papyrus (Bie, pronounced "bee")

An unnervingly confident urologist who laughs at inappropriate times. The youngest of the Terror Brothers. Won't admit when he's in the wrong, but also doesn't acknowledge the faults of others. His SOUL is permanently under his chin (SOULs are referred to as THE HEART in the Brittleverse). He never takes off his glasses. Afraid of cigarettes. Knows things he "shouldn't", but doesn't know that he shouldn't know them. "YEAH HAH HAH HA--" *chokes on a fly* *gags* *dry heaves* *stands upright like nothing ever happened*

Muffet (Kitti)

An E-Girl streamer with a decent following. Has undergone various cosmetic procedures due to the new Humanization trend, including Arm Reduction, Eye Reduction, Eye Whitening, Chitin Softening, a full-bodied skin-colored tattoo, and the removal of her fangs. Wears a wig and contact lenses. Currently in a relationship with another influencer with a similar number of followers, but is looking to bump up her game with her boyfriend's brother, who manages a cosmetics line (or so he claims). Competitive. "Chat, he's cringe. Get his ass."

---

Undertale Brittle by @kyne-grotto

Underfell Brittle: Biephasic Terror by @kyne-grotto

(or Grotto-kay on DeviantArt, where most of the context already is.)

[salt-up-to-your-ankles]

fuck it im gonna list my favourite los campesinos songs because right now theyre my 2nd favourite band behind crywank and above franz ferdinand and i want to talk about them all the time LMAO and no these arent in a specific order or anything

• the sea is a good place to think of the future - this one isnt really a suprise since its what my usernames based off but i love the song and all the little details like the lyrics and how "perfect symmetry" is said in the exact middle of the song and its mmm i love depressing sad music and some of the themes really hit hard its the perfect mix of crywank-y lyrics but los camp! type songs

• alls well that ends in medias res - i love the original song too but this version specifically i love a bit more mostly because of the acousticness and the extra little lyrics its mgmmgm yeah

• we are beautiful we are doomed - this was one of the first lc! songs i listened to and its the song that got me into the band really and i love it so much dhhshs the intro bit kinda reminds me of video game soundtracks like undertale kinda and the lyrics are really good especially "i cannot emphasise enough that my body is a badly designed poorly put together vessel - i hope my heart goes first" and "you kiss my neck i whisper in your ear: this is my downfall" actually all the lyrics of this song are good

• avocado, baby - very good bassline(?) and the lyrics are great too and good to read into and i love the music video for it theres so much happening and the sound effects and the suit gareths wearing mfhdhshs and also A HEART OF STONE, RIND SO TOUGH ITS CRAZY, THATS WHY THEY CALL ME THE AVOCADO, BABY !!!!!

• miserabilia - oh my god the 2 different voices singing work so well and "shout at the world because the world doesnt love you, lower yourself because you know that youll have to" has to be one of my favourite lyrics ever, if i could learn and perform any song with my friends id definitely wanna do this one because its just so good, its one of my top songs

• my year in lists - funny horny lyrics 😁👍 im joking i love how upbeat the song is then the more calm parts at "i cherish the fondness the day (before) i met you" and also the 2 different singers again make it so good also also the repition of winters coat in this song and knee deep at atp is just hfhdusj 👍👍

• allez les blues - i havent listened to many songs from whole damn body yet but i love this song so much its just so happy and upbeat and the chorus is so catchy dhshss it would make such a good ringtone if i wasnt scared to have lyric songs as my ringtone fhshjss

• c is the heavenly option - okay i know this is a cover BUT i really like how for the "my boyfriend" parts theres a male singer and for the "my girlfriend" parts theres a female singer its really cool dhshshs also the "c c c c c c c is the heavenly option" part at the ends really nice with all the layers of vocals

• this is a flag. there is no wind - firstly the first line is amazing i mean who doesnt wanna start a song with CAN WE ALL PLEASE JUST CALM THE FUCK DOWN secondly the lyrics are really good and theyre good to overthink and read into thirdly the chorus is great fhjdjs

okay i could go on forever and in a lot more detail about more songs but ill end it here i hope you enjoyed LMAO

[jikookao3recs]

I'm sorry for being slow with asks and also for not posting much.. I have a lot of going on irl and also now that WC has started, I'll spend my time watching games, so yeah. If I read something in the meantime, I will definitely post it ☺️ untill then, Allez les Bleus 🇫🇷

[bourbon-ontherocks]

helloooooo! okay I didn't realize at first but you're right, karadec's call was defo a bootycall 🤣 &the handprint could be a Titanic ref, BUT it's also reminiscent of the case involving a handprint on a steamed-up mirror... nah? &kara's line too?! for a sec I was like guys. guysssss. it's 9pm you're supposed to keep it tame, &"c'est là que vous allez laisser une grooosse trace de mains" does NOT sound PG13 😶 interesting display of friendship in any case, this show's subtle as ever 😂

(Julia's adventures with the HPI anon)

Oh, it was absolutely a bootycall! 😂  Even more delicious is the fact that Karadec basically just tells Roxane “hey honey, I’m in your neighbourhood, wanna bang?”. Nothing about the fact that he was at Morgane’s, or that he helped her paint her walls (no pun intended LOL), while these are after all pretty innocent actions (I did not include the dancing to the list because that could indeed be viewed as a bit ambiguous). Which means, my dear Watson, that Karadec probably feels somewhat guilty, or at least he vaguely senses that he did something wrong here, because why would he hide this from Roxane if there was absolutely no ambiguity on his side whatsoever, huh?

Also I feel like the call to Roxane immediately after dancing with Morgane kiiiinda has a self-reassurance ring to it, like “it was nothing it was nothing it was nothing, you have a GIRLFRIEND ffs”. He was a mess after that scene, and it’s driving me insane 😱😱😱

Oh my gosh you’re right, the handprint thread is DEFINITELY reminiscent of the steamed mirror from the sex dreams episode!!! How could I miss that???? Well, that’s another proof that this moment was nothing but an allegory oozing with sexual implications...  🔥😈

And pahahaha, NOTHING about this dancing scene is PG13, come on!! 😂😂

First and foremost, Karadec's first line, like... "You'll create new memories here. And you know what let's just start RIGHT NOW *removes jacket*" Who says that without actually propositioning someone with sex??? The first time I watched it I literally thought for one second that he was going to kiss her there and then. And you can tell that Morgane is equally like wtf is happening when he invites her to dance.

And then the dancing part, if I may insert a bit of self-promoting, please check out this gif I made, or hell even the one I put below, and tell me these two dummies aren’t desperate to tumble each other in the hay... The closeness of their faces!!! The way he can’t keep his hands off of her!!! The blatant flirting!! (and don’t tell me it’s just the dancing, I’ve danced couples rock A LOT and you definitely don’t need to be this close or handsy to have a good time) 😱🔥 And yeah of course, the line about leaving a biiiiiig hand mark on the wall is definitely slutty as fuck (c’est le cas de le dire) 🤣🤣

No matter what they’d probably swear, this never was about friendship...

[meistoshim]

@picavecalyx​ sent  :     ∗ 58﹕ sender  is  found  collapsed  by  receiver .     ╱     100 nonverbal prompts.

it’s  belatedly  that  satoshi  realizes  his  new  travel  companions  aren’t  following  him  anymore.     he’s  trying  to  be  better  about  rushing  off  ahead,  but,  really,  he  couldn’t  help  himself  this  time !!     everything  in  this  region  is  so  new  to  him  :     obviously  the  landscape  is  new,  &  so  is  the  air,  but  especially  so  are  the  pokémon.     it  figures,  kalos  is  halfway  to  the  other  side  of  the  world  from  kanto  &  unova  both,  &  unova  is  on  the  other  side  of  the  world,   —   there’s  so  much  to  see  &  only  so  much  time  between  getting  badges  in  time  for  the  next  league  conference.

so,  yeah,  satoshi  caught  sight  of  something  he’d  never  seen,  too  fast  to  catch  with  his  pokédex,  &  shoveled  the  rest  of  lunch  in  quick  as  he  could  before  running  off  after  it,  the  sounds  of  citron,  eureka,  &  serena’s  alarmed  squaks  fading  even  as  he  heard  them  try  to  follow.

&  now  he’s  in  the  middle  of  the  wood,  scanning  around,  pikachu  on  his  shoulder  covering  his  blindspot.

“   pika !!   ”     there !!

quickly  but  quietly  as  to  not  potentially  disturb  a  pokémon,  he  moves  in  the  direction  pikachu  pointed  out  to  him ...     &  the  excitement  he  felt  slowly  shifts  into  confusion,  before  switching  to  concern.

he  doesn’t  recognize  what  the  mask  is  supposed  to  be,  but  that  is  definitely  a  person  lying  on  the  floor  of  the  forest.     ... just  his  luck  to  find  someone  probably  in  trouble  in  a  foreign  region  having  lost  the  only  people  fluent  in  the  local  language.     well,  serena  did  say  he  just  needs  to  speak  more  kalosian,  so ...

❛    — ētto ...     bonjour ... ??     excusez - moi ??    ❜          he  lets  pikachu  hop  down  to  sniff  around  the  mask,  gently  nudging  with  its  nose.     ❛     vous  allez  bien ??    ❜

[ialwaysknewyouwerepunk]

cherry - close reading

alright, this one’s different, for a bunch of reasons that i will be getting into after the lyrics. this might be the point where people who have very strong opinions on narratives surrounding stunts could get angry at me. that’s totally fine, as long as you keep it to yourself (hehe). i wanted these close readings to steer clear of that whole side of harry’s public persona, but i couldn’t write this post honestly doing so. i needed to get this off my chest and apparently i had a lot to say (i surprised myself, really). 

so, this is actually a WARNING: do not proceed if you are a firm believer in hamille. that’s all (and i won’t be replying to anons about this)

fine line, track 5

title: from French: “chérie”, darling

Don't you call him “baby”

lovers calling one another “baby” ～ to be so lonely

We're not talking lately

Don't you call him what you used to call me

common theme: jealousy

I, I confess I can tell that you are at your best

the other is thriving now the relationship is over

I'm selfish so I'm hating it

self-deprecating, honest, jealous

I noticed that there's a piece of you in how I dress

Take it as a compliment

the relationship has left its traces

no bad blood after the split, pretty blasé

I, I just miss

I just miss your accent and your friends

Did you know I still talk to them?

miss little things, more the atmosphere and context of the relationship, no strong yearning for the person

Does he take you walking 'round his parents' gallery?

again, jealousy

gallery: repeat of word in sunflower, vol. 6, but with (possible, likely) different meaning

[Outro: french girlie]

Coucou ! Tu dors ? Oh, j'suis désolée...

Bah non... Nan, c'est pas important...

Ouais, on était à la plage, et maintenant on—

Parfait ! Allez !

(translation: yoohoo (ish?), you’re sleeping? oh, i’m sorry… oh no, it’s not important… yeah, we were at the beach, and now we… perfect! (“allez” literally means “go” but it’s kinda like “let’s go” and more of a stop word. hard to translate)

this is not a voicemail. a voicemail gives you a monologue, a short message by the person directed at the owner of the phone number they’re calling. this is an overheard phone call: we hear one side of the call

SYNTHESIS

Right, okay. I have to be honest: from the lyrics themselves, there’s not a lot of deep shit I’m getting. This is a simple love song about a lost love, written about the period right after a breakup. It’s full of pettiness, simple jealousy. There’s no bad blood and the “I” even seems pretty okay with it. He misses the person, and the missing is expressed through the little things, like their accent or style. The relationship is definitely over, since the other has moved on already, and the “I” is not asking them to come back. There is no yearning, loneliness or miserable missing like Harry sometimes likes to express (～ Falling, To Be So Lonely, MMITH, From the Dining Table…). What the “I” seems to miss most is the other person’s attention, presence.

Now, we all know that this has been painted as the song dedicated to Camille Rowe. It's shoved down our throats: her voice is on the track (though can we be sure it’s actually her?), the title is a play on a french pet name, she supposedly dated someone involved in galleries after Harry (idk the details leave me alone). Naturally, I’m in no position to say whether they ever actually had a relationship or not. I’d be very surprised, since I’ve only ever seen and heard Harry’s love and praise for dick, but that's whatever. If it is about a real relationship (of an entire year), then all I can conclude is that the relationship remained pretty surface-level and they managed to move on easily, unless Harry suddenly changed his entire style for expressing love when writing this. (And No, the other love songs on the album are not about this relationship. Don’t fuck around.)

I’ll say that I think this song was written for a purpose, crafted to fit that narrative. I have avoided the personal aspect, or the who is this actually about shit in previous posts as much as possible, because I wanted to focus on the lyrics and artistry only. In this case, this song, however pretty and cute it is, stands out on the album, to me, because of its simplicity and the absence of attachment to the rest of the story. Golden, Adore You, Falling, To Be So Lonely, Sunflower, Vol. 6 and Canyon Moon tell parts of the same love story. There’s depth, connection, care, and - especially - a long-term love that’s persisted. In my later posts on Sunflower, Vol. 6 and Canyon Moon, especially, it will become clear how I read them as being about a long-term relationship. Even the simple line in To Be So Lonely, “i was just a little boy,” should be enough for everyone to know that song is not about that one relationship with a french model in recent history. 

Sure, Cherry can still be about something real; another relationship that took place during a break in Harry's long-term one. Again, I'd just be extremely surprised by our curly boy walking in a rainbow paradise in a strawberry lipstick state of mind. But even then, placing the song on the album like that, preceded and followed by songs about a love that's life-altering and successful, just feels off to me. The story would make a lot more sense to me if the song weren't there. That's of course my own experience of the album, and another interpretation is just as valid. Who knows, maybe I'm totally wrong - but there's no need to come tell me that 😇

Fine Line being branded during its publicity as an album about being sad/a breakup and having sex will always infuriate me, which I really shouldn't let happen, because I know Harry is just sitting there with that wide-ass grin on his face, safely hiding behind his wall of vague lies and half-truths. Literally only Watermelon Sugar is explicitly about sex and even Falling, arguably the most straightforwardly sad song, holds hope for their love to survive. Harry being that open about a relationship - naming her, putting her voice on the track (!!) - is also very out of character and simply reminds me of interviews during the 1d days, which is an extra reason for me to attach little or no truth to the entire narrative. He's still just as private about everything else in his life: he's offline, we only see photos of him when his team wants us to and when talking about any other song or inspiration he's as vague as can be. This is the only exception and it's a thorn in my eye. But, of course, the stunt worked perfectly and it was the perfect plan to distract the general public. “This is the narrative, this is what it's about, here you have all the answers, you can stop thinking now, no no no don't look at the other lyrics, it's fine shhhhhhh." Cherry is Harry's favorite song, his most vulnerable song, damn he really bares his soul in this one. And we definitely mustn't look into any other theme the album might be about, no no. Bad gp. And that the voicemail is not really a voicemail so the narrative of it being one Harry saved from their relationship doesn’t even hold up but we won’t get into that.

Alright, time for me to calm down. Let's just say there's one thing that will always always convince me that I've got it right: the Vogue interview, featuring its writer wondering if something went lost in translation when Harry invited him to a gay swimming pond, descriptions of Harry and Harry Lambert (his stylist) calling each other Sue and Susan, ending with Harry playing Cherry and Gemma saying, "he does his own stunts." No, this is not said about the kid bouncing on a trampoline for one of the shots. This is a reaction to his performance for the crew, and that's what the article decided to end with. Ok I’m calm once more

Typical that I wrote so much about a song that I initially thought was going to be a breeze, since I knew I wouldn’t be able to link it to the greater themes. Guess that’s what made me rant about it in the first place. This one was a muuuuuuch more stunty post than the others in this series, and that’s also because this song is not like the others. It doesn’t belong here and I treated it as such. Tune in tomorrow for our regular scheduled programming, with the one and only Falling.

Read my other lyric analyses here

[onlydreamofmysoul]

Magic

A little coops with a baby fic! More specifically, it’s mostly about Sirius with a daughter, originally inspired by this post by @fruitcoops that got me thinking about the whole coops with a daughter thing!

(It’s super rough but here we are!)

Characters and their world by @lumosinlove except for Cassie, she’s all mine!

“Are you sure?”

Sirius looked at Remus, big purple stains under his eyes, shoulders slumped in exhaustion and nodded. “Yeah Re, I’m sure. You have that meeting in the morning, go get some sleep, I’ve got her.”

Remus smiled gratefully and kissed both Sirius and the ‘her’ in question in the cheek before retreating upstairs. 

“Now then,” Sirius cooed to the squirming bundle in his arms, red faced from wailing her tearless cries, no amount of soothing or feeding or checking for dirty diapers would soothe her. “What are we going to do with you?”

The little bundle just blinked up at him, pausing her cries for a moment making Sirius think, very briefly, that she might be tired too, but she just hiccupped and started crying again. It broke his heart to see her cry, beautiful brown eyes all scrunched up. Only six weeks old and already Sirius couldn’t imagine how he had once lived without her, sleepless nights and all. 

“Allez, my little Cassiopeia, let’s go on a little walk, doesn’t that sound good?”

Cassie didn’t give any indication that she had either heard or understood him, so Sirius took that as a yes, holding her securely in her arms as he wandered through the downstairs of their house, being careful to keep away from the rooms beneath their bedroom so they wouldn’t wake Remus. 

“Shhh mon chou, Daddy’s sleeping,” Sirius murmured, stroking her back in slow, soothing motions. “What’s the matter baby? Why don’t you want to go to sleep?”

Cassie paused to hiccup again, but before long her bottom lip was trembling. Sirius tucked her fuzzy yellow blanket around her and rocked her gently as he took them both down to the basement. 

“Look where we are,” He whispered, narrating their descent. “Someday I’m gonna teach you how to skate right here.”

Cassie quietened a little and Sirius hummed, pleased. “I think you like it here, don’t you?” Cassie hiccupped and once again, Sirius took this as a yes, continuing their little nightly explorations. Sirius usually took this first shift of getting the baby to bed as Remus had an earlier start in the morning. He was doing extra work with a trainer before practice to rebuild the muscle mass he had naturally lost while not following the exercise regimen of a full time hockey player. They traded off turns feeding Cassie during the night, but it was Sirius who initially put her to bed. He climbed the stairs carefully, so conscious of the tiny person in his arms. Sirius hadn’t fallen on a set of stairs in at least ten years, but now he took each step more carefully than a ninety year old with a bad hip. 

Sirius fed her again and sat down himself, lying down on the couch, Cassie resting on his chest, still awake and watching the world around her. 

Sirius found himself unable to look away from her, and wondered with her head resting on his chest like that, if maybe she could hear his heart about to burst. 

“How can a person so, so little,” He mused aloud, “Make me feel so, so much love?” He stroked her head gently, dark hair soft on her delicate head and she clenched Sirius’ shirt in her tiny fist. 

“Go to sleep my little star,” Sirius whispered. “You’re safe here.”

------

“Papa!”

Sirius’ head jerked up instinctively at the distraught cry as a five year old Cassie ran across the playground over to him, her face stained with tears.

He lifted her onto his lap as she caught her breath, resting her head over his heart. “What happened baby?”

“I, I fell.” She stuttered, dark curls sticking to her damp face. “And I hit my head and it hurts.”

Remus was across the park, chatting to Lily as Harry swung overhead, showing off his skills on the monkey-bars. Remus gave a concerned look but Sirius waved him off, gesturing that she was fine. 

“You fell?” Sirius gasped, as if he hadn’t seen the whole thing happen. “Where did you hit your head?”

“Here.” Cassie sniffed, pointing to the right side and Sirius kissed it. 

“Ta da! Is it better?”

Cassie giggled, but shook her head. “No.” She admitted woefully. “It still hurts.”

“Hm,” Sirius said, pursing his lips in consideration as Cassie watched him carefully, dark eyes shining with tears now wide and alert, distracted from the pain. Sirius kissed her again before pulling away decisively. 

“Is it better now?”

Cassie smiled but shook her head. “No Papa, you can’t make it better.”

On a bench, in the middle of the playground, surrounded by little children and their parents, Sirius gasped dramatically, his hand over his heart. “That’s not true!” He leaned in close, lowering his voice to a whisper. “Do you want to know a secret?”

Cassie nodded quickly. “Ouais.”

“I have magic kisses, they can make anything better.”

Cassie looked sceptical, and Sirius was sure she would raise an eyebrow at him if she knew how. “Really?”

“Really.” He said seriously, “Will I show you?”

When she nodded, he peppered her with kisses until they were both laughing, her tears long since forgotten. 

“Did it work?” Sirius asked, “Does your head hurt?”

Cassie’s mouth made a perfect ‘o’ as she shook her head. “You have magic kisses.” She whispered. “I’ve gotta tell Daddy.”

Sirius chuckled to himself as she ran away, racing over to Remus’ side. 

That night after putting her to bed, Remus sat down next to Sirius on the couch, pulling a blanket over them both.

“Magic kisses, huh?” Remus teased. “Wouldn’t mind some of those myself.”

Sirius grinned, pulling Remus in by the waist. “Well, with her secret keeping, she’ll never be a spy.” He admitted, nuzzling their noses together. “But I think that’s okay.”

--------------------

“Dad?”

Sirius poked his head out of the kitchen at Cassie’s call. “He just went to get milk, can I help you with anything?”

Cassie sighed, but came into the kitchen with a textbook and a defeated look. “I have no idea what I’m doing. I don’t even know where to start, so I need Dad to help.”

Sirius set down his coffee and raised an eyebrow at his sixteen year old daughter. “I know I’m not as good at this stuff as Re, but I did go to school too you know. I can at least try to help.”

Twenty minutes and as many new grey hairs later, Remus found the two of them lying on the couch, Cassie lying on Sirius resting her head on his chest as they watched some mindless sitcom after the Algebra Incident that would go down in history. 

“Papa sucks at maths.” Cassie said in explanation before Remus could even say anything. “But he gives really good hugs.”

Sirius laughed, but pressed his lips to the crown of her head before extending a hand out to Remus. “You’re gonna have to help with the algebra homework, cause it defeated me.”

Remus smiled and kissed them both - Cassie on the cheek, Sirius on the lips and nodded. “I’m okay with that. But how about some hot chocolate first?”

The pair on the couch enthusiastically agreed as Remus walked away, grinning to himself. Sirius on the other hand, just made sure the blanket was covering Cassie properly as she absentmindedly tapped her finger to the rhythm of his heart. 

“Your kisses might not actually be magical,” Cassie mused, “But Dad’s hot chocolate definitely is.”

And, well, Sirius couldn’t argue with that. 

[fruitcoops]

hey, can u do prompt 68, maybe with remus and sirius? I really love your work❤

Thank you, lovely! To the five different people (or just a couple incredibly dedicated ones) who requested this prompt: I see you and your restraint kinks, and yes, I am still taking prompts from both lists. Most of these asks included other prompts, which I worked into this as well. Coops credit goes to @lumosinlove!

TW for restraint, smut

Prompt 68: “Just your wrists. If you don’t like it we can stop”

Prompt 73: “I want to watch you fall apart.”

Prompt 84: “I love how your body loses control when you come.”

“Baby,” Remus murmured as he worked his way along Sirius’ jaw, pressing open-mouthed kisses to every inch of skin he could reach. Sirius hummed, sliding his hands down to dip beneath the band of Remus’ boxers for a moment as he rolled his hips up. “I want to—hmm—to try something.”

“What?” Sirius’ lips trailed up his neck, soft and slightly swollen. With great effort, Remus sat up and leaned over to their nightstand, rummaging through the top drawer. “The lube is over here.”

“Not looking for that.” He felt Sirius twitch under his thigh and his grip tightened on his waist. Something silky brushed his hand and he pulled it out of the drawer, holding it up for Sirius to see.

“One of my ties?” Sirius raised an eyebrow. “If you’re suggesting we get dressed and go out, I going to politely say absolutely fucking not.”

Remus laughed and placed a kiss to his cheek. Sirius shuddered at the shift of his hips and he smiled, starting to slowly grind down. “I thought we could try that thing we were talking about last week,” he said.

“What thi—oh. Oh.”

“Do you want to? Just your wrists. If you don’t like it, we can stop.”

“Hell yes, let’s go.” Sirius ran his hands up Remus’ sides as interest lit in his eyes.

“Easy tiger.” Sirius whined and Remus grinned, lacing their fingers together and sliding them up onto the pillows; his back stretched at the movement and he sighed happily. “Safeword?”

“Red.”

“Love you.”

“Love you, too. Stop stalling.”

“I’m not stalling!” Remus protested, sitting back a bit despite Sirius’ very kissable pout. “Consent is sexy.”

“So is getting tied up by my incredibly hot fiancé!” Well, fuck, that sent a wave of tingles through every nerve in his body. A mischievous smile tugged at the corner of Sirius’ lips and he held his wrists out. “Oh, okay then. C’mon, Loops, tie me up.”

“You’re such a brat,” he said as he leaned down so his elbows rested on either side of Sirius’ head, perfectly in range to see his cocky smile up close and personal. Sirius opened his mouth, probably to fire back with something snarky, only to fall silent when Remus pinned his hands to the pillows. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

Sirius shifted beneath him and pushed their hips together; feeling the damp patch on the front of his boxers was doing nothing to support Remus’ attempt at keeping his brain from dissolving into mush. “Please, mon coeur?”

A small shiver ran down his spine at the nickname and he sat up again, fumbling with the tie as Sirius arched his back and kept his arms above his head. Okay, Lupin, you know how to do this. Remember the process. Two loops, twist, through, one more, and slide. Sirius closed his eyes as the tie slipped over his wrists and smiled lazily—Remus saw some the tension release from his shoulders immediately.

“Is that okay?” he asked, running his thumb along the smooth fabric. Sirius mumbled something and flexed his fingers. “Sorry, love, didn’t catch that.”

“Tighter.”

All the breath fled Remus’ lungs and he swallowed thickly as he obliged, wrapping the extra around his hand. A cut-off moan slipped through Sirius’ lips and his eyes flashed open, pupils dilated. “Better?”

“So good, so good, allez.”

“Tell me if it’s too tight,” Remus said as he began kissing his way down Sirius’ chest. “Baby, promise you’ll tell me.”

“I will,” Sirius panted. “Fuck, sweetheart, please.”

“What do you want?” Remus tugged one side of his underwear down and nipped lightly at the exposed skin, making him jolt.

His answer was little more than a whisper. “Anything.”

Remus slid his boxers down his strong legs, taking a moment to appreciate the cut of his thighs as they clenched under his touch. His dick was leaking steadily, and both his knees jerked upward when Remus closed his mouth around the head—Sirius keened as he gently guided them back down and laid on his stomach. “Easy, love, I’ve got you.”

“Not going to last.” Sirius’ voice broke. “I’m so fucking hard, Re, you can’t tease me right now.”

Remus pulled away and straddled him again, hovering less than an inch over his dick as he writhed. Sirius went still, chest heaving, when he planted his hands next to his head and tilted his chin just so. “I can and I will,” he said lowly, leaning down to suck a small hickey into the muscle of his shoulder. “I want to watch you fall apart.”

Judging by the ticking at the side of his jaw and his shaky exhale, Sirius was mere moments away from coming just from that. Good. Remus settled between his legs again and licked up his shaft, relishing in the salty taste of his precome as it dripped down. “I’m—I’m—”

“No.”

“Remus,” Sirius groaned, pulling at the tie around his wrists.

“This really gets you going, doesn’t it?” Remus reached up and tugged the central knot with one finger. “I don’t think I’ve seen you like this since you wore my jersey.”

A pretty flush spread up Sirius’ chest and he strained against the bindings once again; with a frustrated noise, he let his hands fall back down. “I want to touch you.”

“Do you want me to take it off?”

“Not really.”

“Then too bad,” Remus said with a smirk, tapping his chin until he leaned in for a slow, dirty kiss. He rolled Sirius’ lower lip between his teeth until it was red and slick, running one hand down his side to wrap around his dick and tug; he could practically taste Sirius’ gasp as their chests bumped together. “I bet I’ll barely have to do anything to get you off. You’re almost there already, aren’t you?”

Sirius’ vocabulary seemed to be reduced to low moans and half-finished pleas, interspersed with Remus’ name whenever he swiped his thumb over the top of his dick. He nodded, eyes glazed as he gripped the tie with white knuckles. Remus drew him in for another kiss and his shoulders shifted.

“What are you doing?” he asked against his mouth with a short laugh. Warm weight settled over his shoulders and Sirius sighed, pulling him down more. “Oh, no you don’t.”

It took some maneuvering to slide out from under Sirius’ arms, but he succeeded after a slight struggle and returned them to their previous position. “Re,” he grumbled, pouting. “Why not?”

“Because I said so.”

“Don’t be such a—ngh, do that again.” His back arched and Remus squeezed the base of his dick lightly, feeling smug pride spread through his limbs at the desperate noise he made in response.

“Come on, baby, you can do it,” he teased, jacking his hand up to gather more precome and smooth out the slide. “You can do it.”

“Not with you holding me like that!”

“Are you sure?” Remus grinned, lowering down just enough to tongue at his slit and make his knees knock against his biceps. “Ouch.”

“I’m sure, I’m sure, oh fuck.” Sirius was breathing hard and twisting the knot around as if he could get it undone by sheer force of will.

“Baby, don’t hurt yourself,” Remus said quietly, reaching up to untangle the coils. Sirius bucked his hips up, grinding his dick against Remus’ underwear, and Remus wrapped both his hands around his forearms, pushing them into the pillows firmly. “What was that?”

“Re, please I’m so close,” he babbled. “Feels so good, please.”

“You know what? Fine.” Sirius seemed rather surprised, but that quickly melted away as Remus began stroking him again in tight, short pulls that made his legs shake. “Go ahead, Sirius.”

“Why do I feel like this is a trap?” he panted, tilting his head back in pleasure.

“Why would it be a trap?”

“Because you never—oh—you never let me off easy.” He grinned at him from under those long, dark lashes and Remus felt a spike of heat in his stomach.

“I think you’re forgetting something.”

Sirius squeezed his eyes closed and let out a strained laugh that slid into a moan. “I’m forgetting a lot of things right now.”

Remus loosened his grip slightly, but didn’t slow his pace as he leaned up so they were eye-to-eye. “I like seeing you like this just as much as you like being tied up.”

There were few sights more beautiful than Sirius Black coming, and Remus was glad he had sole ownership of that knowledge. His silver eyes went wide, then screwed up tightly as his elbows bent down on reflex and one of his legs hitched up around Remus’ hip. Remus stroked him through it, making soft shushing sounds as come coated his hand and the aftershocks rippled through him.

“There you are,” he said with a smile as Sirius blinked up at him after a moment. He was achingly hard, but he placed a kiss to his forehead all the same and rested his chin on his folded forearms. “Hey. I love how your body loses control when you come.”

“Huh.”

“That’s a good sign,” he laughed, sitting up to undo the tie. Sirius’ arms were limp and pliant as the fabric slipped off; even when it was gone, his hands remained there until Remus pulled them down and rubbed small circles into the reddened skin. “How are you feeling? It wasn’t too tight, was it?”

“Non. Tout bon.”

“Good.” Remus slid his arms under Sirius’ back and snuggled into his chest, feeling his hands come up to clumsily settle between his shoulder blades. “We should definitely do that again sometime.”

“Mhmm.” Sirius kissed the top of his head. “I can feel how hard you are, you know.”

“Shocking. Who would’ve thought.”

“I promise to do something about that, but give me, like, two minutes. My bones are still coming back.”

Remus grinned. “Yeah, they are.”

“Shut up,” Sirius laughed, flicking him lightly on the shoulder. “One of these days we’re going to make it through without you making fun of me.”

“It comes from a place of love.” He propped his chin up and smiled as Sirius kissed his nose.

“I know. I love it.”

“Love you, too.”

[kumoriyami-xiuzhen]

Hakuoki Yuugiroku 2 - Sanosuke Sakura Epilogue

hrm... im debating looking at buying some of the Shinkai Reimeiroku drama cds when they come out... but if I do that, it’ll push back when my BD order of Souma-hen arrives (i refuse to pay for shipping twice when their release dates are so close together)... and i know i’m a bit interested in kazama being in a reimeiroku drama because of the timeline tho id definitely choose to do that in a heartbeat if there was a drama with both Serizawa and Kazama on it. lol. decisions, decisions.

anyway, this is my 2nd translation from this game this month and this is the Sanosuke version of the 『 恋染めし日』 story which im fairly certain happens before his last Edo Blossoms chapter... images used in this post were snips from my vita capture vids.

Hakuoki Yuugiroku 2 - Sanosuke Sakura Epilogue

Translation by KumoriYami

The sakura were no longer in full bloom, and would now vividly scatter as they were carried away by the wind. 

The light red petals [tl i have is for red] from the above branches spread across/formed a thin layer on the ground.......

We were admiring this blanket of sakura that had scattered about.

Chizuru: Sanosuke-san, the sakura season will soon be over/is coming to its end.

Harada: That’s right. From the looks of it/At this rate, in about two or three days/in a few days, these sakura will begin to sprout leaves.

Ever since the snow melted, and when/once we could feel the warmth of spring from the sun/sunlight/shine, we've been visiting here everyday.

We found the first buds today. 

Today we saw a perched cuckoo.

These buds are starting to bloom/about to bloom..

The first flower finally blossomed——.

Each/Every time we came here, Sanosuke-san and I would talk about these subjects, and it was just the other day/a few days ago when the sakura finally bloomed.

Harada: We waited so long for them to blossom, but they don't stay in bloom for long.

Chizuru: Yes/That’s true......

As I gently touched a (nearby)/the (nearby) trunk, I could feel the slight heat from where the tree had been exposed to the sunlight.

Then, as if to ascertain my thoughts/grab my attention /check on me, Sanosuke-san's hand was holding mine.

Harada: Is something wrong/What’s wrong, Chizuru?

Chizuru: No. When Sanosuke-san and I came here today, earlier you said...... That you were thinking about how the beauty of sakura has remained unchanged even though we’ve left our homeland and had come to this foreign country [i give up rewording this so that its more condensed for now]. 

Harada: That’s right....... but, I feel that I've profited quite a bit. 

Chizuru: Profited?

Harada: Yeah. The sakura blooming season would have already ended in Kyo or Edo/Edo by now....... So don't you think it's great that we're able to see sakura at this time, even while this far north/even while we're this far up north?

Chizuru: Fufu. 

Hearing Sanosuke-san's childish words, I couldn't but help but smile.

Unlike Japan, sakura are not seen everywhere in this northern land.

While I felt a sense of nostalgia as I looked towards the southern skies, Sanosuke-san suddenly got down onto the ground.

Harada: Hei...... yo [basically allez-oop, mais, je ne peux pas penser à un équivalent]. 

(he lies down)

Chizuru: Sa-Sanosuke-san? What are you doing?

Harada: Ah, this is more comfortable than I thought. You should try lying down too. 

Chizuru: Ex-Excuse me then......

As I boldly lay on the on the ground that was covered in sakura, I could see how the petals accumulated as they fluttered together. 

After lying down like Sanosuke-san said, I looked up towards the sky, and couldn't help but exclaim/marvel at this beautiful view.

Chizuru: Wow...... Look, Sanosuke-san. It's like a rain of sakura......

Harada: Although we come here to see the sakura whenever we have time these days... It’s quite refreshing to see them from a different perspective/angle. You get to see what you normally wouldn’t see.

The were sakura that had fallen onto the ground around me, and there were sakura dancing in the sky.

The petals falling from the sky made the sakura feel like snow as they began piling up over me......

The moment I was buried/covered in this snow of sakura, just as I was about to close my eyes, a shadow suddenly fell over me.

Chizuru:!?

(he kisses Chizuru. i think. i clipped the pics for this when vlc was muted on account of recording sound)

Harada: You're too/so defenseless, Chizuru.

Chizuru:......Surprise attacks are unfair. 

I hadn’t even realized when he had gotten up. 

Sanosuke-san, who was supposed to be lying down next to me, showed a proud expression, as I protested with my stolen lips. 

Harada: Didn't I tell you before that I would kiss you if I ever caught you off-guard?

Chizuru: Did you ever say that......?

I tried to remember those words, but I didn't think it mattered anymore.

Sanosuke-san smiled and continued to speak. 

Harada: "Well, it's because you look like that, that I want to kiss you/you're showing such an expression makes me want to kiss you. If you don't want that, shouldn't you not be showing me such an adorable expression/shouldn't you stop showing such an adorable expression to me?

Seeing how Sanosuke-san had a childish/mischievous expression, I whispered softly.

Chizuru:......I can't do that/That's impossible.

Harada:......?

Chizuru: Because I want Sanosuke-san to love me even more/more and more.

Ever since I started living with Sanosuke-san, I have probably become more selfish/willful.

As if to embrace the sky and sakura, I laid down and spread my arms.

Harada: If you say something like that, how can I not cherish you even more?

While taking Sanosuke-san into my outstretched arms, I sighed happily.

continued chatting

bring this to an end <-

——A moment later.

After getting off the blanket of sakura, we faced one another again beneath the sakura. [reword later? i can’t figure out to make this less wordy].

Harada: So, what now? Do you want to continue talking/chatting here?

Chizuru: N-No, let's go home now!

I spoke quickly as I desperately tried to hide the redness of my face.

Although I would have loved to continue watching the sakura, I was/felt too embarrassed to now......

While I didn't expect anyone to come here, if someone really did, I wouldn’t be able to go outside/wouldn't dare to leave the house ever again.

Harada: Then, let's/we'll continue this next time.

Chizuru: When will that next time be?

Harada: Hm? If you want, it can be tomorrow or the day after tomorrow.

Chizuru: Yes. Let’s come again before the sakura have completely scattered.

In the days to come, how many times will be able to talk beneath the sakura trees before the sakura fall/scatter...

As I pondered this question, we left this place.

---End---

[writingsilly]

A broken heart and a half

Description: Taehyung learns a little more about unrequited love.

Word length: 1.1k

Trigger warnings (!!!): angst, underage drinking, swearing, broken hearts.

Pairing: Taehyung x reader.

[Masterlist]

It was down that same old rabbit hole again. We didn’t have any big problems, they just seemed huge from our perspective. It was that kind of issue that everybody knew it wouldn’t matter in a few months, or maybe in a few years, but the wound was too fresh, too new for the both of us, that it just seemed like it would bleed forever and there was nothing we could do about it. There was no way to make it stop.

A broken heart, as embarrassing as it was to admit it out loud, was new for her. And for all she knew, for me too. However, I’m familiar with the feeling; the empty chest, as if your heart had dropped all the way down to your stomach… I was way too young to understand it, but I had had my heart broken since I was ten years old. It didn’t seem like it was going to heal anytime soon either, not if she continued to be in my life.

“I, uh, don’t get it?” she said after drying the corners of her lips with her sleeve.

“You’re an awful drinker…”

“Wha- Well, it’s my first time drinking! I’m not a... what was the word? The French one.”

“How would I know?” I chuckled.

“Because you’re the expert!”

“Fine, what’s the word in English?”

“Expert!”

“Professionnelle,” I slurred.

“You stink.”

“Yeah, well, you too,” I replied.

She started giggling, as if I had told the funniest joke in the whole world. Laughter was bubbling from her throat, from her chest, her whole body leaning so close to mine… Maybe it was the heat from that summer night, but my side had never felt warmer than right then and there. 

She reeked. We had been drinking long enough for the alcohol stench to clutch her clothes and her hair.

I put the bottle down, carefully setting it on the tray along with the snacks. The stars above us had stopped resembling stars a long time ago (maybe, four, or five gulps ago), now they looked like a bunch of holes spread out across a dark blue sheet of paper when you held it in front of the sun.

There was a silence between us, nothing like we had ever experienced before. Something was towering over her, a dark cloud over her head.

“It didn’t go well?” I asked.

“It didn’t,” she confirmed. “I’m not his type, apparently. So, yeah…”

There was so much alcohol in my system, I was surprised I held back a chuckle right then. It just amazed me how could someone know her, see her, hear her, and decide she was not their type. Yet, there was something else bubbling up my chest, a weight had been lifted, my inability to breathe since she had told me about her crush; I was relieved. I was thankful he hadn’t accepted her feelings if he didn’t really like her the same way.

I had to say something. I wasn’t sure what. Was I supposed to say “I’m sorry”? Should’ve I hugged her, waited for her to cry it all out?

But, then again, she never cried. Not even when she fell on her face that day after school. That only told me one thing: I didn’t know if I would be able to deal with her crying. My hands itched to hold her so close to me until she forgot all about it. The reason why she was so sad, I knew it too well, I was too familiar with it, but I would rather not tell her about it. Because she looked so fragile when it came to heart matters.

I wished I could’ve taught her what I knew, but as blind as she was when it came to this, I wasn’t really that cultured either. What I could’ve only taught her was what she already knew. There was nothing to be done about it. No use to throw fits, or to drop tears. Nothing would change, no matter our reaction to it.

I just hoped she would find a way to heal faster, maybe show me how someday.

“I thought he liked me. I shouldn’t have confessed at all.”

“At least he knows, and now you can move on.”

Where we even talking about her anymore?

When I faced her, her eyes had no shimmer in them, totally turned off. I could’ve blamed it on the alcohol, but I knew she had the tendency to zoom out every now and then. I often wondered what would be in her mind about when that happened. Was she deep in thought? Or maybe there was nothing in her mind. Either way, the silence between us, even when we just now exchanged some words, was too heavy to ignore, so I decided to make her snap out of it.

“Comment allez-vous–”

“Okay, asshole, we get it, you know French even when you’re drunk.”

I laughed. “How are you going to walk home?”

“I don’t know… Walking?”

Somehow I doubted she could walk straight, even just cross the street.

“We’re stupid.”

“What?”

“I mean, I confessed to my crush and got fucking rejected, and you… You thought it would be a good idea to drink on a Thursday.”

She was already slurring, pouring her words so slowly I had a hard time understanding her.

“It’s Friday, dude.”

“What?”

“Friday the third…”

“How are you, like, not hammered? I–I don’t even know what day it is.”

“I’ve told you already; you’re a shit drinker.”

“I’m not a prof- pror?” she sighed out of frustration, “I’m not a pro!”

I set the tray aside and gave her the snacks, something to soak up the alcohol. She pushed them away, but after a few tries, she finally accepted them with a roll of her eyes.

“How many broken hearts do I need to be a pro drinker?”

Even in her state, positively and heavily wasted, anyone would’ve been able to tell that her tears were not the result of that cheap vodka I had been saving for a day chirpier than this one, that was for sure. When I had bought it, I thought about her, yes, but not like this.

I had that image in my head for a long time after getting that bottle. She would be twirling, laughing, an explosion of confetti right above her while a shower of shimmery paper landed all over her hair. A smile on her face while looking at me. Because she always smiled whenever she was dancing. A face full of that shiny makeup she liked so much, as if it was New Year’s, an occasion that just demanded for some kind of celebration, music. Something that felt eternal rather than this coming-of-age mess.

There was nothing festive about a broken heart. No remedy. No cure besides time... But, for how long?

In movies, something that seemed to help was getting somebody new. Someone who could help with the pain, make you forget about the one who hurt you in the first place. But I wasn’t ready. I was definitely not ready to see her go to someone else’s arms right after this.

I figured I could be selfish just this one time.

“Tae,” she called, “how many?”

A promise of a smile right on her lips, not even reaching her eyes, made me realise she was joking, or at least trying to do so.

“Just one and a half.”

[Masterlist]

[vgckwb]

ML: Isolation Chapter 4: Masks

By lunch that day, word about this mysterious figure heading into the bakery and buying something had spread like wildfire. Adrien checked online to see what people were saying. He smiled, reading that a lot of people were going to check out the place visited by this figure.

Adrien decided to look through an article posted about this. “‘Honestly, he just came in and ordered someone’ said Sabine Cheng, who along with her husband, Tom Dupain, runs the bakery. ‘Business has been booming since then. People have been asking why this mysterious figure came here, and I tell them we have no idea either. They’re usually kind enough to buy something afterward.’”

Adrien smiled. He then heard Alya exclaim “Pleeeeeeeease!” He turned around and saw Alya talking to Lila. “I've gotta know for myself. I promise I won’t even buy anything.”

Adrien looked at Lila. She looked stern. Not like someone who was about to break down because of a traumatic experience, but more like someone who lost a vital chess piece. She smiled for a second, sighed, and said “Oh, alright Alya. I know how passionate you are about this kind of thing.”

“Yes!” Alya said. She hugged Lila. “Thank you!” Lila looked at Adrien. He put on a silly grin and waived.  Lila waived back. He turned back around.

Lila’s definitely up to something. She relented quite easily for someone who thinks even going to her parent’s bakery is traumatic. Now that it’s become the talk of the town, she has no choice but to let it go. At least somewhat. Still, I better play it safe. No one seems to know that it’s me, but I can’t let anyone figure that out.

After school, Adrien headed to the lockers. He changed into his fencing gear and met up in the courtyard. He walked up to Mr. D’Argencourt. “Ah, Adrien! I’m so glad you could join us.”

“My pleasure” Adrien responded.

“Alright, listen up!” he said, talking to everyone else in the class. “This is Adrien Agreste. He is one of my star pupils. From here on, he is joining us for class today.”

All of the other students clapped. All except one. “HEY!” shouted a student wearing a red fencing uniform. “If he’s one of your star pupils, let’s see how he holds up!” They pointed at Adrien. “I challenge you!”

“Part le fer!” Mr. D’Argencourt said.

“It’s OK Mr. D'Argencourt,” Adrien said. He turned to this mysterious combatant. “On my honor, I accept your challenge!”

Everyone was shocked. “Adrien, you don’t have to do this,” Mr. D’Argencourt said.

“It’s OK,” Adrien said again. “I get it. They want to see if I’m worth being called your pupil. Don’t worry, I won’t let you down.”

Mr. D’Argencourt smiled and nodded. “Very well. Positions!” Adrien and this red challenger got ready and faced off. “En Guard! Pret...Allez!” Adrien and this person clashed. From the instant their sabres met, Adrien could tell they meant business. Of course, so did Adrien.

The duel continued. It appeared they were evenly matched at every turn. Adrien had never heard a referee call “Abstention!” so many times. He thought it was funny.

He was also very captivated by this mystery combatant. Adrien could tell their skill was finely honed. Still, Adrien had no intention of letting them win. He pushed on.

Eventually, both of them were running low on breath. “So, ready to call it?” Adrien asked. The red-suited student just yelled and went in for one last attempt. Adrien focused. He then went in as well. Attack! Perry! Riposte! Counterattack! Adrin demonstrated his skill, and Mr. D’Argencourt called the match in his favor.

The rest of the class surrounded him and cheered him on. Adrien felt good. He’d proven his worth. He then spotted his opponent. They seemed frustrated with themselves. He broke free of the crowd and chased them down. “Hey” he said, getting their attention. “Good match. You're an excellent fencer.”

The other fencer gripped their sabre tightly. “You’re in Lila’s class, right?”

“Um, yeah?” Adrien said.

“...What do you think of her?”

Adrien wasn’t sure how to answer. Did they want the truth? Or did they want the answer that Lila would like. He didn’t want to overplay his hand just yet, so he just said “I’ve only just met her. But she seems alright.”

The fencer scoffed. “You’re just as bad as the rest of them,” they said, walking off.

That may have been the wrong move.

While all of this was happening, Alya set foot in the Dupain-Cheng Bakery for the first time in a long time. “Alya!” Sabine said. “It’s been such a long time!”

Alya stood still for a minute. It felt weird for her to be here. She looked at the faces of people she thought she detested and saw nothing but smiles. “Hi.” she said awkwardly.

“What brings you here?” Sabine asked.

Alya had to remain focused. She took a deep breath, and said “I’m here because I want to investigate that mysterious figure.”

“Oh right,” Sabine said. “I remember you had an affinity for this kind of thing.”

Alya got out her notepad. “Tell me everything!”

“Well, he just came in here and ordered a croissant,” Sabine said. “There’s not much to it. Sorry to disappoint you.”

Alya continued to be flustered by their kindness. Still, she maintained her composure. “What did he sound like?”

“I don’t know,” Sabine said. “He just gave use a note.”

Alya was now intrigued. “A note? May I see it?”

“Certainly dear,” Sabine said. She showed the note to Alya.

Alya didn’t find anything new with the note, since it was typed out. “What did he look like.”

“Well, you’ve seen the pictures,” Sabine said.

“Yeah, but you got to meet him up close!” Alya said. “Did you notice anything?”

“Um, well, not really…” Sabine said. “I was just so surprised that they showed up at all. Everything happened so fast.”

“I see,” Alya said. “Thanks anyway. Later!”

“Wait!” Tom said. Alya turned around. “Here. Have a brownie. Your favorite!”

Alya was completely caught off guard. “Oh no, I can't,” she said nervously. “I promised I wouldn’t buy anything...”

“It’s on the house,” Tom said. “You haven’t been here in so long. I want you to have it.”

Alya looked them over. Why were they being so kind to her after she showed them nothing but contempt? Still, between the free food and the smiling faces, Alya couldn’t say no. She took the brownie and said “Thanks.”

“No problem!” Tom said.

“Have a good day!” Sabine said.

Alya left. She took a bite of her brownie. She was in awe. She had forgotten how good they had tasted and why they were her favorite. He then went to the park to gather her thoughts.

Adrien was leaving school after fencing. He spotted Alya in the park and decided to meet up with her. “Hey Alya,” he said.

Alya looked up surprised. “Oh. Hey Adrien. What are you doing here?”

“I just got done with fencing,” Adrien said. “What about you?”

“Oh.I just got back from my investigation at the bakery,” Alya said. She took another bite of her brownie.

Adrien was puzzled. “I thought you promised Lila you wouldn’t buy anything.”

“Yeah… They kind of gave it to me for free” Alya said. “Don’t tell Lila.”

Adrien sat down next to her. “Wouldn’t dream of it. So, what did you find?”

Alya looked at her notes. “Not much,” she said. “However, this mysterious figure used a note to order their croissant.”

“Huh” Adrien said. “I wonder why.”

“My guess is that they thought the owners would recognize them if they said anything,” Alya said.

“I see,” Adrien said. “But if they thought they would be recognized, why go at all?”

“Well, maybe they were hungry,” Alya said. “I mean, wouldn’t you go there if you were close by?”

“Well, no…” Adrien said, nervously. “I was told that I shouldn’t be doing that.”

Alya looked at him like she got a realization. “You’re right!” she exclaimed, standing up. “The figure did look to be around our age! Maybe it’s someone who wanted to go there, but didn’t want to disrespect Lila!”

Whoa! Alya’s really perceptive. I need to slow her down before she figures it out. “But, if that’s the case, why go at all? If they wanted to hide themselves because they knew about Lila and Marinette’s history, they knew it would be disrespectful to go in regardless.”

Alya thought about that. “Oh yeah” she sat back down. “I thought I had something for a second.” She smiled. “Still, there must be a reason. And I will figure it out!”

“You sound really excited,” Adrien noted.

“Are you not?” Alya asked. “Paris could have its very own hero! How awesome is that?!”

“Right. You like heroes” Adrien said. “May I ask why you’re so enthusiastic about them?”

“Of course” Alya said. “It’s because they fight for justice. They fight bad guys and win, showing that good will triumph over evil! I like it because it doesn’t always seem to be the case in the real world.”

“I see,” Adrien said. He thought about that last part. Marinette’s current situation seemed to attest to that fact.

“They present an ideal!” Alya continued. “One I want to live up to! I want to be on the side of justice, and expose those who would hurt people for their own personal gain!”

“Well, it is a lovely ideal,” Adrien said, “and I do want to live up to it as well, but you have to remember, no one’s perfect.”

Alya looked at him. “Right. I know that.” She sighed. “Today has been really weird.”

“How come?” Adrien said.

Alya put her hands on her chin. “Well, when I went over to the bakery, Mr. Dupain and Mrs. Cheng were very nice to me. I expected them to be more upset with me. They insist Marinette did nothing wrong, and I’ve treated them as bad people, yet they smiled and remained polite. They were even nice to me. I just don’t get it.”

Adrien smiled. “Well, that gets into something I like about heroes” he said Alya looked at him. “A hero fights for justice, yes, but a hero also understands kindness. To me, a hero is someone who shows kindness, even to those that have wronged them.”

Alya smiled. “You’re right Adrien. I guess they were being heroic in their own way.” Her face turned grim. But that doesn’t excuse how Marinette treated Lila.”

Adrien’s face grew serious. “I know.” Whatever happened must have been pretty big if Marinette is being treated like this.

Alya relaxed a little. “I’m sorry. It’s been fun talking with you. But I’ve gotta go! I’ve gotta go make a fansite for Cat Noir!”

Adrien blinked. “Cat Noir?”

Alya chuckled. “That’s what I’m going to call this mysterious figure! He wears all black and has that cat mask. So I figured Cat Noir would suit him. Later!” She ran off.

Adrien stood up as well and contacted his bodyguard. He then smiled and said “‘Cat Noir’, huh? I kind of like that.”

At home, Adrien went to his computer. He checked his email and saw Marinette had sent him an email. “Today has been crazy at the bakery! People have come from all over Paris to see the place visited by the mysterious figure! We’ve gotten more customers in a day than we have all month! All this to say, sorry that mysterious figure beat you to the punch. I’m sure your idea would have helped the store too.”

Adrien giggles to himself. He got out his mask, put it on, took a photo and sent it with the caption “I dunno. I think my plan was a huge success.”

Marinette responded. “That was YOU?! You’re that mysterious figure going around?!”

“Yup. Sorry I had to paint over your mask.”

“Wait, was that the mask from the failed glam rock thing painted black? You kept it?”

“I keep all your designs that aren’t used. I still like them, and I think they’re good. They just don’t always match...me.”

“Yeah. I had wanted to use it for an actual band, but it didn’t seem to match up with any artist I could contact.”

“You know, the reason I was dressed up like that was to send you that initial note and not get caught. Who knows what would have happened if that passer-by saw famous model Adrien Agreste walking around at night without his parent’s permission?”

“You came to see me without your parent’s permission?! Why?!”

“I wanted to meet Ladybug. Simple as that. And since I know your secret identity, I think it’s only fair you know mine.”

“I didn’t know you could be such a dork sometimes. But thanks. I’ve...actually enjoyed talking to you.”

“Well, that’s understandable. You’ve been held up in your room for quite some time. Any interaction would be good.”

“You say that, but I’d rather be alone than with the people who cast me away. Which at this point feels like the whole world. Except for my parents. And you.”

Adrien looked at that response. He couldn’t imagine how she feels. It seemed almost nightmarish. To rather be alone than with people? Adrien lived alone for a long time. He didn’t want anyone to feel that alone.

He responded. “Well, it might not just be us. I had fencing today, and it seemed like there was this other person in it who didn’t like Lila.”

“Oh. You mean Kagami. She and Lila argue all the time. But I think it’s kind of a status thing more than anything. See, Kagami comes from a prestigious family of world-class fencers, and Lila is the daughter of a diplomat. Their rivalry seems to be about who has more connections and stuff like that.”

Adrien thought about it. That didn’t sit right with him. Kagami’s apparent disdain for Lila didn’t seem to stem from this status argument. After all, Adrien didn’t know of her apparent status until just now.

Adrien typed back “Well, I’ll try and talk to her. Maybe we can expose Lila’s lies and you can come out of hiding.”

“That’s sweet, but I’m fine here. And I do go out. Just in disguise.”

“Wait! You go out?”

“I don’t talk to people all that much, but yes. I mostly go out to get inspiration. It doesn’t always just walk in front of your bedroom window, you know.”

Adrien was stunned.”Well, if that’s the case, I’d like to meet up with you some time.”

Adrien waited for a reply for minutes. Once he got it, it was clear Marinette was flustered. “I’ll think about it.”

“You do that. Meanwhile, I’ll think about a way to get you out. I know you say you’re fine being alone, but I’ve been alone most of my life. Trust me, it’s not fun.”

“Alright. It seems like I can’t stop you on this. But I‘m fine. Really. I’ll let you know if we can meet when I go out next. I’ll talk with you later. Good night.”

“Good night.” Adrien sat back a little. Everything was set. He knew Lila was lying. He knew someone on the outside who could help, provided he could win them over. And he knew he had to break Marinette free. “I’m sure what she went through was painful, but being essentially alone will end up being a lot worse. So I’ll try to help in any way I can. I must. For her.”

[coffeeandyoongi]

A Broken Heart and a Half (one-shot)

Genre: angst/fluff.

Word count: 1.1k

Trigger warnings: drinking, some swearing, a little angst (not so much).

Synopsis: Taehyung learns a little more about unrequited love.

It was down that same old rabbit hole again. We didn’t have big problems, they just seemed huge from our perspective. It was that kind of issue that everybody knew it wouldn’t matter in a few months, but the wound was too fresh, too new for both of us, that it just seemed like it would ache forever and there was nothing we could do about it. 

A broken heart, as embarrassing as it was to admit it out loud, was new for her. And for all she knew, for me too. However, I’m familiar with the feeling; the empty chest, as if your heart had dropped all the way down to your stomach… I was way too young to understand it, but I had had my heart broken since I was ten years old. It didn’t seem like it was going to heal anytime soon either, not if she continued to be in my life. 

“I, uh, don’t get it?” she said after drying the corners of her lips with her sleeve.

“You’re an awful drinker…”

“Wha- Well, it’s my first time drinking! I’m not a...  what was the word? The French one.”

“How would I know?” I chuckled.

“Because you’re the expert!”

“Fine, what’s the word in English?”

“Expert!”

“Professionnelle,” I slurred. 

“You stink.”

“Yeah, well, you too,” I replied.

She started giggling, as if I had said the funniest thing in the whole world. Laughter was bubbling from her throat, from her chest, her whole body leaning so close to mine… Maybe it was the heat from that summer night, but my side had never felt warmer than right then and there. She reeked. We had been drinking long enough for the alcohol stench to clutch her clothes and her hair. 

I put the bottle down, carefully setting it on the tray along with the snacks. The stars above us stopped being stars a long time ago (maybe, four, or five gulps ago), now they resembled a bunch of holes on a dark blue sheet of paper when you held it in front of the light. 

There was a silence between us, nothing like we had ever experienced before. Something was towering over her, a dark cloud over her head. 

“It didn’t go well?” I asked.

“It didn’t,” she confirmed. “I’m not his type, apparently. So, yeah…”

There was so much alcohol in my system, I was surprised I held back a chuckle. It just amazed me how could someone know her, see her, hear her, and decide she was not their type. Yet, there was something else bubbling up my chest, a weight had been lifted, my inability to breathe since she told me about her crush; I was relieved. I was thankful he hadn’t accepted her feelings if he didn’t really like her the same way. 

I had to say something. I wasn’t sure what. Was I supposed to say “I’m sorry”? Should I hug her, wait for her to cry it all out? 

But, then again, she never cried. Not even when she fell on her face that day after school. That only told me one thing; I didn’t know if I was able to deal with her crying. My hands itched to hold her so close to me until she forgot all about it. The reason why she was so sad, I knew it too well, I was too familiar with it, but I would rather not tell her about it. Because she looked so fragile when it came to heart matters.

I wish I could teach her what I know, but I was just as blind as her. What I could only teach her was what she already knew. There was nothing to be done about it. No use to throw fits, or to drop tears. 

I just hoped she would find a way to heal, maybe show me how someday. 

“I thought he liked me, shouldn’t have confessed at all.”

“At least he knows, and you can move on.”

Where we even talking about her anymore?

When I faced her, her eyes had no shimmer in them, totally turned off. I could’ve blamed it on the alcohol, but I knew she would zoom out every now and then. I often wondered what she thought about when that happened. Was she deep in thought? Or maybe there was nothing in her mind. Either way, the silence between us, even when we just now exchanged some words, was too heavy to ignore, so I decided to make her snap out of it. 

“Comment allez-vous rentrer à pied?”

“Okay, asshole, we get it, you know French even when you’re drunk.”

I laughed. “How are you going to walk home?”

“I don’t know… Walking?”

Somehow I doubted she could walk straight, even just across the street. 

“We’re stupid.”

“What?” 

“I mean, I confessed to my crush and got fucking rejected, and you… You thought it would be a good idea to drink on a Thursday.”

She was already slurring, pouring her words so slowly I had a hard time understanding her.

“It’s Friday, dude.”

“What?”

“Friday the third…”

“How are you, like, not hammered? I- I don’t even know what day it is.”

“I’ve told you already; you’re a shit drinker.”

“I’m not a prof- pror?” she sighed out of frustration, “I’m not a pro!”

I set the tray aside and gave her the snacks, something to soak up the alcohol. She pushed them away, but after a few tries, she finally accepted them with a roll of her eyes. 

“How many broken hearts do I need to be a pro drinker?” 

Even in her state, positively and heavily wasted, anyone would’ve been able to tell that her tears were not the result of that cheap vodka I had been saving for a day chirpier than this one, that was for sure. When I bought it, I thought about her, yes, but not like this. 

I had that image in my head for a long time after buying that bottle. She would be twirling, laughing, an explosion of confetti right above her so a shower of shimmery paper would rest all over her hair. A smile on her face while looking at me. Because she always smiled whenever she was dancing. A face full of that shiny makeup she liked so much, as if it was New Year’s, an occasion that just demanded some kind of celebration, music. Something that felt eternal rather than this coming-to-age mess.

There was nothing festive about a broken heart. No remedy. No cure. 

In movies, something that seemed to help was getting somebody new. Someone who could help with the pain, make you forget about the one who hurt you in the first place. But I wasn’t ready. I was definitely not ready to see her go to someone else’s arms right after this. 

I figured I could be selfish just this one time. 

“Tae,” she called, “how many?”

A promise of a smile right on her lips, not even reaching her eyes, made me realise she was joking, or at least trying to do so.

“Just one and a half.”

[callioope]

2019 Favorites

Rules: Time to love ourselves! Choose 5 favorite works you created in the past year (fics, arts, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2019. Tag as many creators as you want to spread the love!

tagged by the awesome @theputterer​! thank you!

HA, well, TBH I saw this meme going around and I was like oh no if someone tags me I’m not going to have anything to list!

It’s true I barely published anything in 2019 -- only one thing on AO3 -- but I did work on a few unpublished projects. So after some serious scrounging, I thought why not share some sneak peeks at what I’ve got cooking in addition to the few items I did publish!

First, what I actually published:

"I hope my love was someone else’s solid ground”

Firelight flickers across the faces around the campsite and the shadows press a little closer. She’s trying not to stare (to make her staring obvious), but as her gaze sweeps over friends it always settles on him. She keeps measuring the distance, counting the steps past Bodhi and Kay or the other way ‘round, past Baze and Chirrut, to the opposite, furthest corner of tonight’s makeshift home. Always when she finds his eyes, they fall a little farther from her.

She sighs and gets up. Waiting never suited her.

I don’t think an album has ever resonated with me as much as Sara Bareilles’ Amidst the Chaos, or a song as much as “Orpheus.” It’s just perfection. The moment I heard it, I thought of Jyn and Cassian, but this song also feels special to me personally as I’ve struggled with OCD and anxiety and have (finally) been going to therapy for it. It felt cathartic to tell a story about healing through Jyn and Cassian, and I just really loved the prose in this one. I haven’t posted it to AO3 yet because I was thinking about expanding it a little first, and then I never got around to it.

Learning Curve  - Chapter 4: Scarif

“You know,” she says, sliding onto his lap, “there are better ways to show your surrender. If you want me to stop talking about work…” She leans down and demonstrates, and kriff, he tastes like the sunlight dancing on his lips, warm and sweet and happy.

“I love listening to you,” he murmurs when she finally pulls away.

She’s just sitting, safe in his arms, but when he looks at her like that, everything just falls out beneath her, and she closes her eyes and grips his shirt and burrows her head against the crook of his neck and shoulder.

Months ago, when she first stepped foot on the tarmac outside the temple, she’d thought she’d spend a semester and go back to Rudrig, that her life would continue on at its boring, lonely pace, that work would perpetually consume her. She’d never suspected she’d run into Cassian (and thank the Force for that; if she’d known he’d be here, she might not have signed up in the first place, might have preferred to avoid the risk of running into him and facing the embarrassment she’d created all those years ago—and she never would have had the chance to move past it).

She’d had no idea what kind of happiness awaited her, how close a call it had been, how she might never have known the joy of eliciting Cassian’s hard-won smile, the anticipation of an imminent kiss, or the simple satisfaction of quiet companionship and unassuming acceptance.

This took entirely longer than it should have, but I was very glad to finally finish it. It was definitely a lot of fun to imagine a galaxy with no Empire, where Palpatine was defeated before he could enact any of his crueler schemes, and to see what this meant for Jyn and Cassian as well as Lyra and Galen. It was also a challenge -- lots of moving chess pieces to account for -- so thank you to my beta and brainstormer @allatariel​!

I do have a couple regrets: namely, that I didn’t split chapter 4 into two parts (it’s just so long! I suppose I could still split it...) and that I hadn’t watched Rebels yet, so I didn’t get a chance to imagine what kind of life the Ghost crew would have had. Maybe someday? 

The Stakes of Star Wars: whatever else anything is, it ought to begin by being personal

As a writer, I frequently struggle with plot. Is it believable? Is it surprising? Is it exciting? Sometimes, it feels like plot is supposed to be what makes a story interesting. What makes for a cool adventure? The prevailing mindset seems to be: how high can you raise the stakes?

But I think over the last few years of writing, I’ve learned something important about the kinds of stories I want to read, and therefore write.

The stakes are important, but only for what they mean to the character.

It has to be personal.

It’s no secret that I hated TLJ. I wasn’t impressed with TROS, either. I think it’s easy (and, admittedly, cathartic) to point blame at one or the other and to write a laundry list of “things didn’t work for me” (which I did for TLJ -- though I only finished and published part of it). When it came to the final installment, I thought it was more fruitful for me to analyze the core of what didn’t work for me overall. I won’t deny there are things I did love about the sequel trilogy, but as a whole, trilogy-spanning story it really fails for me, and this is my attempt at finding out why.

Now, onto the unpublished projects!!!

Untitled “You’ve Got Mail” AU

Somewhere in a far corner of the Outer Rim, off the far reaches of the Perlemian Trade Route, past Felucia, near the Tion Hegemony, a small planet spins on its axis, and a new day starts.

As the sun rises, it conveys a whole palette of colors: rich reds bleeding into the purple and indigo of the fading night, gold light gleaming over the flat fields of blue-green grass spreading out in all directions.

Nothing stirs but a gentle breeze, racing along the grass like a wave; to the naked eye, this area of the planet remains entirely uninhabited.

And that is the point.

To a careful observer, someone with an eye for it, the grassy flatlands and the gentle rolling hills of Skuhl hide something valuable and just as beautiful as its surface. Such an observer could find it: the narrow crack in the ground; the cramped ten-meter vertical descent into the jagged earth; the winding, sloped passage that eventually blooms into a split-level cavern that might fit a squadron of X-Wing fighters—if they had a way in.

As it is, that cavern houses something else: the Skuhl rebel cell.

And in a little area partitioned off by a series of columns, stalactites, and stalagmites on one side and a makeshift counter, sink, and shelving on the others, Jyn Erso wakes to the sound of the caf machine whirring.

Groaning, she lifts her head from the table and blinks in the soft light of a lantern hanging off the shelf behind her.

“Good morning,” Hadder says, from next to the raucous caf machine. “You’ve got a message.”

AHHH I forgot how much I love this AU. I haven’t opened this in a few months. YEAH, I’ve got some purple prose going there, but I was really trying to imitate the opening of You’ve Got Mail, how it pans down into NYC and such. I got really stuck on this trying to write Jyn and Cassian’s correspondence (the whole point TBH, smh). Otherwise, this is all plotted out (again, thanks to the amazing @allatariel​‘s help) and I just need to write it. Currently has 4,294 words.

Fencing AU (Working title is probably “En Garde”)

Jyn holds a blade for the first time when she is eight years old. It’s shiny and makes a fun clang when she smacks Bodhi’s sword. She’s been watching him from the corner, while she waits for Bodhi’s lesson to finish and for Mama and Papa to pick them up from the YMCA. Saw doesn’t teach children, he already explained. Saw wants serious students. 

So Jyn watches Bodhi stand in front of the mirror covering the far wall and watches him hold his blade in different positions (four, six, seven, eight — she heard Saw name each one). She watches him flick his wrist and smack Saw’s blade (beat, she repeats in her head) and watches him turn his wrist and push Saw’s blade away when he attacks first (parry).

She watches this go on for an hour, and afterwards, when Saw looks away to talk to some of the parents, she knicks a spare blade and a spare mask and dares Bodhi to fight her. 

It doesn’t take long for one of the parents to point her out (adults can never be trusted). But she doesn’t see it at first, too busy stabbing Bodhi, or trying to — she’s sure she’s hit him plenty on his arm, because she’s reenacted that laser sword fight from Space Clash enough times to know how it’s done.

“Jyn,” Saw says behind her, “What are you doing?”

She whirls around, staring up at Saw through the grated black mesh of the mask. He’s looking down at her, arms crossed, and he sounds mad. But she doesn’t look away or back down, even though he’s really tall and sometimes the other kids get scared when he’s angry. (She doesn’t. She’s not scared of anything.)

“Fencing,” she says. 

Saw stares back at her for forever, and she gives back an eternity because she plays this game all the time. She can win.

What she doesn’t know then, but Saw does, is that she will win.

He shakes his head. “Not like that,” Saw says.

“But I can fence,” Jyn says, “I can be serious.”

“Serious fencers,” Saw says, “aim for the heart.”

That stops her next words. She glances at Bodhi for a second, who shrugs, and then back at Saw. 

“Ready?” he says, gesturing for them to continue. “Allez!”

Oh, if I had all the time to write, I would finish this before the Olympics... I guess I still have half a year. Maybe it can still happen!! As it is, I don’t actually have much more of this written (just plotted). I fenced for five years at the local YMCA, plus just a little in college (sadly my university didn’t have a team, so I could only fence when I was able to get back home). I miss it dreadfully. Every now and then I dabble in researching clubs down here to fence, but it is so expensive and time consuming. So much to do! So little time! So I thought I’d just write about it to scratch that itch. Basically the gist is that Jyn is an Olympic fencer, and she fences foil (because that was my weapon and I’m incredibly biased) while Cassian fences epee. Aaaand look at that, now I’m rambling on about fencing. (I’d give y’all lessons if I could, do not get me started) On to the next! 

Nat Geo AU

“You seem quiet,” Cassian says quietly, still reading what she’d refer to as a tentative draft of their piece.

She shrugs.

His eyes flick up to her face just briefly and he misreads the regret on her face. “Do you miss it? Your time with Saw?”

She’s startled into a laugh. “You mean war correspondence?”

His nod is almost imperceivable, but he knows she pays close attention.

“No,” she says, perplexed.

“Not as much action out here.”

He’s worried she’s bored. As if she could be, at his side. “I almost had to wrestle a crocodile for your life yesterday.”

He grants her just the tiniest crook of a smile. “I was safe in the boat.”

“That croc was sizing you up,” she says, thinking of a large crocodile that they’d thought had been resting serenely on the river bank, before it suddenly splashed into the water right next to their boat, towards Cassian’s perch at the railing. “I saw the glint in its eye. I know the look.”

“I’m sure you do.” He snorts. Then he gestures towards her pad, where he’s highlighted a phrase. “This one — for the headline.”

She takes it and reads what he’s chosen. “You know it depends on what Kay likes.”

“He’ll like that one.”

The premise is that Jyn and Cassian work for National Geographic (or rather, Rogue Geographic) and are assigned to cover a conservation project headed by Ezra Bridger and the crew aboard the Ghost. I’ve only managed to write an intro scene about Jyn and Cassian finishing up their previous project (entirely, entirely self-indulgent and based on my honeymoon). I was hoping to finish and publish this in January, buuuut I got way distracted by an epic post-war fic that @allatariel​ and I are working on, which I think we may have started plotting in 2019, though I’m not sure -- and at any rate, the NatGeo brings us to six so you’ll just have to wait for the next word on that ;) 

 WELP THAT’S IT. 

Thanks for reading! 

TAGGING: Anyone who reads this and wants to do it. Yeah, you. You who were hoping you got tagged? I’m tagging you. You’re it!