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blog-o-meter · 1 month ago

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Pump It Up - Nicholas Alexander Chavez x fem!reader

summary: Rained in, (Y/N) decides to workout at home while Nicholas reads a script in the kitchen. Halfway through, though, she realizes that he wasn’t really reading anymore.

warnings: 18+, caught masturbating, needy!nicholas, established relationship, dom/sub undertones, voyeurism, exhibitionism, denial

required listening: n/a

word count: 4,123

a/n: here’s a quick little fic <3 im sorry my word counts are so long compared to others’ — my brain literally won’t let me write unless I drag scenes out to make them seem more realistic/plausible in my head, if that makes sense LOL

reblogs, likes, and replies are greatly appreciated and let me know if you’d like to see more!

The rain outside was relentless, its constant drum against the window and the occasional rumble of thunder enough to convince me to not leave the house. I’d driven through too many rain storms in this neighborhood to know that risking getting my car flooded from driving through the backed up water at the end of the road was not worth it. That’s horrible infrastructure for you.

I had plans of hitting the gym, maybe even treating myself to a little smoothie that I had been looking forward to all day. Just thinking about the tartness of a berry smoothie after a grueling workout was enough to make my mouth water, but it looked like the rain wasn’t going to let up. The worst part was I had already gotten dressed, and I had so much pent up energy ready to be exerted.

That’s when I thought — why not just do my workout here? The living room was spacious enough, and as long as I had my music, I think I could manage. Sure, I wouldn’t have access to any of the fancy machinery, but I could still do some sets without anything extra — planks, sit-ups, Russian twists, leg raises, etc.

Determined to use up my energy, I grabbed my phone and earbuds and walked out of the bedroom, making my way over to the open-concept living room to find Nicholas perched on the kitchen counter, his back to me. He had been tirelessly looking over a potential script his agent had given him earlier — writing notes, highlighting pieces of dialogue, the like.

I set down my things on the coffee table before coming up behind him, running my hand up his back and settling it on his shoulder, giving him a little massage as I looked over the booklet open in front of him. He let out a sigh, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me close.

“Nic, is it ok if I work out here?” I asked while I brushed away the single strand of hair flopped over his forehead.

“Yeah, of course,” he nodded his head.

I turned my attention to the script, bending over the counter a bit to reach for it. The half-scribbled nonsense caught my eye. I could barely make out any of the words he had written, but I guess the only person that had to understand it was Nicholas — and the guy knows his shit.

“Are you sure it won’t bother you while you’re looking over your script?” I asked as I flipped through the script casually.

Nicholas chuckled, leaning back slightly on the stool. His arm stayed wrapped around my waist, his thumb brushing idly against my side. “Don’t worry; I’ll tune it out.”

I smiled, thankful for his understanding. I planted a quick kiss on his temple, running my fingers through the back of his hair. “I’ll try to keep it quiet,” I said as I pulled away from his grasp and walked toward the open space between the coffee table and the tv in the living room.

Unfortunately, I didn’t have a yoga mat, so the laminate floor would have to do, whether I liked it or not. Maybe I’d get used to the stiff floor the more my workout progressed, and I would have already done my exercise for the day by then. Note to self: buy a yoga mat.

I grabbed my earbuds, deciding to only put one in just in case Nicholas told me to keep it down, and reached for my phone to press play on my workout playlist, which consisted of EBM and Acid House — no lyrics for maximum concentration. Plus, it helped me keep a steady rhythm.

I began with a series of deep stretches, my arms reaching high above my head before I bent forward, letting my fingertips brush the floor. A quiet groan escaped my lips as I felt the soreness from yesterday’s workout still lingering.

The music pumped softly in one ear, the beat steady and hypnotic as I transitioned through my warm-up. I shifted into a runner’s lunge, my knee grazing the cold laminate as I leaned into the stretch. A soft sigh slipped out, my muscles pulling deliciously.

Rolling up slowly, I shook out my legs and moved into a few standing side bends, my hands clasped over my head. My breathing grew deeper, the ache in my sides fading as I worked through it. A low hum escaped me as I twisted my torso, relishing the sensation of each vertebra popping gently back into alignment.

I stood straight then, shaking my arms as I prepared to start the real workout. “Okay,” I muttered to myself.

I dropped to the floor for my first set of planks, planting my hands firmly and aligning my body. The strain hit almost immediately, my core engaging as I held the position. My breathing grew audible, sharp exhales through pursed lips as I counted the seconds.

“One… two… three…” My voice was quiet but breathy, each number punctuated by a soft grunt.

The timer on my phone ticked down, and when I reached thirty seconds, I pushed myself into a series of shoulder taps. My palm slapped the floor softly with each shift of weight, my breaths turning into little gasps as the effort increased.

“Almost there,” I whispered to myself, my tone more encouraging than determined.

When I finally finished the set, I rolled onto my back, chest heaving and gasping while the music in my ear pulsed. I clocked Nicholas shift in the stool then, but I didn’t think much of it. He had been sitting there a few hours now; his back must’ve been stinging.

Next up were leg raises. Lying flat on my back, I slid my hands beneath my lower back for support and lifted my legs until they were perpendicular to the floor. Lowering them slowly, I felt the familiar burn in my lower abs. Those were killer.

“God,” I groaned softly, squeezing my eyes shut as I held the hover position just above the floor.

My voice came out in broken exhales as I finished the set, letting my legs drop to the floor with a thud. My head tilted back, and I let out an exaggerated sigh, the exertion starting to creep up on me.

After a moment of rest, I rolled back onto my knees and pushed myself into a standing position. I moved into a series of squats, setting my feet shoulder-width apart and sinking low with each rep. The burn in my thighs was immediate, but I leaned into it, pushing deeper with every squat.

“One… two…” My voice grew louder, the numbers mingled with quiet grunts as I tried to keep my form steady.

By the time I reached 20, a soft whimper escaped me. I straightened, pausing to catch my breath before diving into the second set. Midway through, I let out a particularly loud groan, the sound filling the quiet room. I glanced over my shoulder toward the kitchen, half-expecting Nicholas to say something, but he remained silent, his back still turned.

He shifted in the stool again then. I noticed it this time — the way Nicholas’s arm moved. It wasn’t just a casual shift in his posture or an adjustment of his script. His elbow dipped, his shoulder tensed, and there was a sort of rhythm to it.

I thought it weird, but I pushed through the rest of my squats, continuing my quiet counting. But from the corner of my eye I could see him continuing to move his arm ever so slightly, like he didn’t want me to see. And of course, curiosity got the best of me.

When I finished the set, I let out an audible sigh to signal that I had finished my squats. His back was still to me, and I could see past the outline of his other arm on the counter that the script was still open in front of him, but his movements were stiff.

I strolled toward the kitchen under the guise of grabbing something to drink, letting my footsteps fall heavy against the floor to make noise. As I neared, I noticed the faint tremor in his shoulders as he turned the slightest bit away from me as I rounded the counter and made my way toward the fridge, opening the door casually.

I pulled out one of the cold-pressed juices Nicholas liked to keep stocked to indulge in after coming home from the gym and closed the door. I turned around on my heels, glancing over to him. His jaw was clenched, and he didn’t flick his eyes up once to glance up at me. I also noticed his left arm was under the counter while his right arm was propping up his chin, his pointer finger curled against his lips.

“Hey, Nic,” I said, my voice light as I twisted the cap off the juice bottle with a crisp crack. “Is my workout bothering you?”

He stiffened, his body locking up as if I’d just caught him in the middle of something incriminating. “No,” he said quickly, his voice unusually tight. “It’s fine. Keep going.”

I raised an eyebrow, taking a long sip of the juice as I watched him. He still wasn’t looking at me, his focus seemingly glued to the script in front of him, but he didn’t even have a pencil in his hand anymore, the pencil laying flat some inches away as if forgotten.

“Are you sure?” I asked, the tiniest bit amused at his behavior.

“It’s fine,” he replied a little too fast, his voice clipped. He shifted on the stool, his left arm pulling slightly closer to his body.

I lingered for a moment longer, watching the subtle tremor in his shoulders and the way his right hand moved to grip the edge of the counter. It was obvious he didn’t want me to see what he was doing.

“Alright,” I said with a shrug, “Let me know if I’m being too loud.”

I rounded the counter again, noticing from the corner of my eye Nicholas shifting his body away from me another time as I passed by to make my way back to the living room.

I didn’t sit down right away, instead taking my time to stretch dramatically, letting out a long exhale as I reached for my toes, glancing periodically over to Nicholas. Now that he had shifted from his previous position, I could catch his reflection from the framed artwork hung on the wall perpendicular to him, and it gave me a full view of what he was doing.

Nicholas’s left arm was indeed beneath the counter, moving with a slow, deliberate rhythm that told me everything I needed to know.

He was helping himself.

His head was tilted slightly forward as if he were trying to focus on the script, his jaw tight, and his eyes were closed — completely lost in the moment. His right hand gripped the edge of the counter, his knuckles white, as though grounding himself in reality, and he was being very mindful of keeping his noises to himself.

I froze mid-stretch, my fingertips grazing my toes as I processed what I was seeing. Heat rushed to my face and neck, a mix of shock and complete amusement. He had no idea I could see him — no idea that his every movement was perfectly reflected in the glossy surface of the artwork.

The realization sent a jolt of excitement through me. The idea of Nicholas pleasuring himself while listening to me grunt and huff was like a spark to my flame, and I intended to add more fuel.

Straightening from my stretch, I took a moment to steady my breathing and hide the growing smirk tugging at the corners of my mouth. If Nicholas wanted to keep up his little secret act, I’d give him something to really work with.

Dropping back down to the floor, I positioned myself for a new set of planks, but this time, I exaggerated every movement, letting my body shift slowly as I adjusted my form. “Alright,” I muttered, just loud enough to carry over the sound of the rain outside.

As I held the plank, I let out a low groan, my voice breathy and drawn out. “God, that felt so good,” I said, my words broken by strained exhales.

From the corner of my eye, I could see his reflection in the artwork. Nicholas’s hand paused for the briefest moment before resuming its rhythm, a little quicker this time. His shoulders hunched slightly, his body shifting as if he were trying to control himself.

Biting back a grin, I moved into shoulder taps, each motion accompanied by a soft grunt. “One… two… three…” I counted aloud, my voice deliberately low and husky.

Nicholas’s head dipped lower, his jaw clenching tighter as his hand moved beneath the counter.

“Is my counting bothering you, Nic?” I called out between breaths, my tone innocent but teasing as I watched him through the reflection.

His head snapped up, and for a second, I thought he might stop altogether. But he quickly recovered, clearing his throat before replying, “No, I’m fine. Keep going.” His voice was rough, strained, and completely unconvincing.

I tilted my head, feigning innocence. “You sure?”

His jaw tightened, and he dropped his head back down, his eyes fluttering shut as he continued to stroke himself. “I’m sure,” he muttered. “Just… focus on your workout.”

“Ok,” I replied lightly, smiling to myself and dropping my hips to the floor as I transitioned into a set of cobra stretches. My back arched as I pushed up onto my hands, letting out a loud groan as I tilted my head back.

Nicholas’s breathing hitched audibly, and I couldn’t resist glancing at his reflection again. His movements had picked up just the tiniest bit of speed, as if he were afraid going any faster might have me catch on. His other hand, though, gripped the counter so tightly I thought it might leave marks.

Pushing back onto my knees, I transitioned into a child’s pose, my arms reaching out in front of me as I let my hips sink low, making sure I let out a soft moan. I tilted my head just enough to glance at the reflection, catching the way Nicholas’s head dipped even lower, his movements more frantic now.

My lips curled into a smirk as I pulled myself up from the floor and removed my earbud, tossing it onto the couch so it could land without making a sound. Keeping my steps light so as to not warn him, I slowly made my way over to Nicholas, inching my way closer and closer.

When I was close enough to feel the heat radiating from him, I paused, watching as Nicholas continued, completely unaware of my presence. His head was still bowed, his breathing shallow and uneven, his left hand continuing to stroke himself under the counter. I bit my lip, the smirk on my face growing as I leaned forward, positioning myself just behind him.

I stayed there for a moment, hovering, my own breath steady and quiet, while he was too lost in his own world to notice. Then, as quietly as possible, I leaned in until my lips were just inches from his ear, waiting a few beats before letting out a soft moan.

Nicholas froze, his entire body locking up as his hand stopped mid-motion. His head snapped up, his eyes wide with shock, and I could see the flush spreading rapidly up his neck and cheeks. He started to pull his hand away, stammering something incoherent, but I was faster.

I reached down, my hand sliding beneath the counter to replace his. His sharp inhale echoed in the quiet room, and I could feel the tension in his body as I wrapped my fingers around his hard length.

“Don’t stop on my account,” I murmured, my lips brushing against his ear as I began to move my hand in slow, deliberate strokes. With my free hand, I brushed my fingers through Nicholas’s hair, clutching it in a fist and lightly pulling his head back toward me.

Nicholas’s head fell back against my shoulder, letting out a low, guttural sound as his mouth fell open and his chest rose and fell with labored breaths. His hand, now free, gripped the edge of the counter again, his knuckles whitening as he held on for dear life.

“Did the sounds I was making turn you on, huh?” I teased, my voice a soft purr in his ear as my hand continued its slow, torturous rhythm.

Nicholas groaned in response, his voice ragged and desperate. “Mm-hmm,” he muttered, nodding as his breathing grew heavier. His free hand slid up to cover his face, his embarrassment palpable even as his body betrayed his need. But I made sure to pull his hand away, wanting to see his beautiful face.

“Don’t hide from me,” I whispered, tightening my grip on his wrist to keep his hand away from his face. “You wanted me to catch you, didn’t you? Isn’t this what you wanted?” I teased, increasing the pressure of my hand just enough to make him gasp.

Nicholas let out a shaky breath as his body gave into my touch. His chest rose and fell erratically, and he whimpered softly at the teasing in my voice.

“Yes,” he finally admitted, his voice barely a whisper. His hips bucked slightly into my hand, and he let out a needy moan, his restraint crumbling. “Please… don’t stop,” he begged, his voice trembling.

Nicholas’s desperation was intoxicating, and I couldn’t help but savor the way he melted under my touch. His vulnerability was rare, and seeing him this undone because of me was exhilarating. I let out a quiet moan into his ear, mimicking the sounds I was making while working out.

“Such a good boy,” I murmured against his ear, letting my lips brush against the shell of it. My hand continued its slow, steady rhythm, deliberately teasing him. His hips jerked, seeking more friction, but I tightened my grip slightly, controlling the pace.

“Please,” he whispered again, his voice cracking with need. “I need…”

I chuckled softly, my breath warm against his skin. “Need more…?” I asked, my tone dripping with playful cruelty.

Nicholas whimpered, his hand clutching at the counter like it was the only thing keeping him grounded. “More of you,” he admitted, his voice breaking. “Please… I can’t… I need you.”

His admission sent a shiver down my spine. I kissed the sensitive spot just below his ear, drawing a shaky breath from him. “You sound so pretty when you beg,” I whispered, my hand picking up its pace ever so slightly.

His entire body shuddered, and he turned his head to try to capture my lips with his own, but I pulled back just enough to keep him from reaching me. “Uh-uh, you’ve been bad, Nic,” I teased, my voice a low purr.

Nicholas let out a frustrated groan, his head dropping back against my shoulder again. His chest rose and fell with each shallow breath, his desperation spilling over in the way his fingers gripped the counter.

“Please,” he murmured, his voice trembling and raw. “Please, I’ll be good. I just… I need you.”

I smirked, savoring the way he unraveled beneath me. “Oh, I know you’ll be good,” I replied, my voice laced with mock sweetness. My hand slowed its pace just slightly, enough to make him whimper in protest, his hips shifting to chase the friction. “Tell me how much you want it,” I demanded, tightening my grip ever so slightly. “I want to hear it, Nic.”

He let out a shaky breath, his head tilting back to rest on my shoulder as he turned to look at me, his eyes glassy and pleading. “I need you so fucking bad,” he admitted, his voice rough with vulnerability.

His words sent a jolt of satisfaction through me. I leaned down, pressing a slow, deliberate kiss to the corner of his mouth. “Good,” I murmured, pulling back just enough to see the way his lips parted, his eyes closing briefly as if savoring the moment.

“You’re so perfect like this,” I said softly, my free hand sliding up to brush through his hair again, tugging gently at the strands. “So needy. So honest.”

Nicholas let out a low moan, his body trembling under my touch. “I’ll do anything,” he whispered, his voice barely audible. “Anything you want. Just don’t stop.”

I chuckled, the sound low and teasing as I tilted his head back further, exposing the vulnerable line of his throat. “You’re mine,” I murmured, pressing my lips against his skin, my hand resuming its deliberate pace. “Aren’t you?”

“Yes,” he breathed, his voice cracking under the weight of his need. “All yours.”

Hearing those words fall from his lips made my heart race. I pressed a kiss just below his ear, my teeth grazing the sensitive skin. “Good boy,” I whispered, my tone both soft and commanding.

Nicholas let out a ragged moan, his body arching into the back of the stool as he surrendered completely to me. Every sound, every movement he made was for me, and I relished every second of it.

“I—” His voice cracked, his body trembling as he struggled to form coherent thoughts. “I need… I need to—please, just let me…”

I chuckled softly, tightening my grip for a moment to make him gasp. “You’re going to make a mess, aren’t you?” I teased, brushing my lips against his ear.

Nicholas let out a broken moan, his head falling back against my shoulder. “Yes,” he admitted, his voice trembling with need. “I can’t—please, I can’t hold it…”

I smirked, my hand picking up its pace just enough to push him closer to the edge. “Go ahead,” I whispered, my voice a low purr.

His entire body tensed, his hips jerking against my hand as he let out a strangled moan. His eyes squeezed shut, his breath hitching as he finally gave in. The tension in his body snapped, and a low, guttural sound escaped him as he spilled over, the warm evidence of his release landing on the script spread out on the counter.

For a moment, the only sound in the room was the steady rhythm of the rain against the windows and Nicholas’s ragged breathing as he slumped backward, his head resting against my shoulder as his lips parted.

I pressed a gentle kiss to his temple, letting my hand linger on his waist as my other hand reached to brush my fingertip against the white ropes that landed all over the counter. I held his gaze as I brought my fingertip to my lips, letting the taste linger on my tongue. A slow, deliberate smile spread across my face as I tilted my head slightly, savoring both the flavor and the effect it had on Nicholas.

Quickly brushing my fingers through his hair, I softly asked, “How about you clean up your mess while I finish my workout, hmm?”

Nicholas let out a weak laugh, his cheeks still flushed as he tilted his head to look at me. “You really know how to humble a man,” he murmured, his voice hoarse but laced with affection.

I leaned down, pressing a quick kiss to his lips, tasting the lingering warmth of his breath. “And you really know how to make a workout interesting,” I teased, pulling back.

Nicholas groaned softly, running a hand through his tousled hair as he sat up straighter on the stool. “I’ll clean it up,” he muttered, reaching for a nearby paper towel with a sheepish grin.

Nicholas moved with a quiet efficiency, his usual confidence tinged with an endearing embarrassment. As I settled back into my workout, I couldn’t help but steal glances at him from the corner of my eye. His shoulders were still a little tense, his cheeks still faintly pink as he wiped the counter clean with meticulous care. He avoided looking at me directly, though I could see the hint of a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.

When he finally finished cleaning up, Nicholas tossed the used paper towel into the trash with a dramatic sigh of relief. Turning to lean against the counter, he folded his arms over his chest, his eyes locking onto me with a playful intensity. “You know I’m going to get you back for this, right?”

As I settled into my next stretch, I smirked up at him, “I hope you do.”

#nicholas alexander chavez #nicholas alexander chavez x reader #nicholas chavez #nicholas chavez x fem!reader #father charlie mayhew #nicholas alexander chavez rpf #nicholas alexander chavez imagine #nicholas alexander chavez fanfic #nicholas alexander chavez fic #nicholas chavez smut #nicholas chavez x reader #fic-o-meter

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thealbatrovss · 2 months ago

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waiting // logan howlett x reader

summary: scott and jean get engaged. logan seems happy for them. but old insecurities start bubbling to the surface.

one shot: angstyyyyyy, insecure reader, happy ending of course, not proofread

word count: 1k+

authors note: getting back into writing so here’s a quick one for ya’ll. Enjoy!!!

masterlist

When he made his way towards her, with a big grin on his face, you had to get out of there.

You bumped past friends and colleagues, weaving through the bodies like a hedge maze. The room closed in. Your stomach was raging with alcohol and fire.

It was so childish. Running away from your friend's own engagement party. This night was about them, not you.

But, Logan wouldn't stop talking about how happy he was for them since they made the announcement. You were happy too. Of course you were. They were like family to you. But, was he really content with everything? Sometimes, thoughts that he was settling would cloud your mind.

You’d only been dating for little over a year now, and well, Jean was still Jean. The Jean he loves. Or loved. It was becoming too hard to tell, your head starting spinning.

The night air hit your face. It was cold, too cold to be out at a time like this. But at least there was space. Space to hold yourself on the mansion's steps and think about everything swirling in your mind.

You knew holding her up on this pedestal wasn’t fair to her, to Logan and especially yourself. But sometimes, wounds that were once sealed up and packed away, came around visiting again.

He spent years harboring feelings for her. You just stood there and watched it. Until one day, you were grabbing a late night snack from the kitchen and saw Logan sitting at the table.

And he was no longer sulking. No longer chasing after someone who was always going to pick someone else. He smiled, and told you to sit and have a beer with him.

It wasn’t an odd request. You too were friends after all. But, you ended up spending the entire night talking. You asked him about his past and he was completely honest. He asked you about yours, barely ever looking away from you as you rambled on. Logan had a soft smile on his face the entire time you talked.

The two of you moved closer together as the night progressed into the early morning. By the time students began pouring in for breakfast, your chairs and shoulders were touching. He walked you to your room that day, asked you out to dinner. You had your first date at a bar. Jalapeno poppers and chicken sandwiches. The waiter accidentally spilt his tray of drinks on Logan trying to squeeze through the aisle.

When Logan kissed you for the first time in his car, you could feel the sticky drinks stuck to his leather jacket and skin.

The door creaked open behind you. Footsteps stopped at the steps above. You could smell that familiar wood and cigar smoke. It has stuck to you ever since that night in his car. “Its fucking freezing out here.”

You brushed away a fresh well of tears, hoping they’d dry quickly so he couldn’t tell. “You’re right about that.” You sniffed. But it was your voice that gave it away.

“Whats going on?” He sat down next to you. “Could you look at me?” He moved your hair away from your face, fingers grazing the wet skin. He paused. “Can you please talk to me? Why are you crying?”

You tried brushing his hand away, making yourself smaller against the stone wall. You pushed the side of your face into the rock, like it would magically make you disappear.

“I can’t help you if I don’t know whats going on.”

“I’m just drunk.” You tried to play it off. Not good enough.

Logan shook his head. “No. That's bullshit. You’ve been acting weird all day.”

The air kept getting colder. You started shivering. Logan cursed underneath his breath, taking his jacket off and draped it over your shaking shoulders. The simple gesture made you feel even smaller. “Do you ever wish things could be different?”

Logan looked at you confused. “What kinds of things?”

You sat up, knees facing away from your boyfriend. “The people you let into your life.”

“No.” He answered quickly. “I only let in people who let in me. Like you.” He smiled at the memory of spilt beer and messy kisses in the parking lot. “So no. Why? Do you?”

You huffed. “I find that hard to believe and I hate myself for it.”

Logan sat there bewildered. You’d always been open and honest with him about everything. You even opened up to him about your insecurities surrounding his relationship with Jean the first few months into dating. The realization washed over him as he watched the party goers mingle inside. “You still think I have feelings for Jean.” It wasn’t a question. It was a statement.

The wind picked up, sending its sharp claws against your wet cheeks. “It’s stupid, I know.”

“No. I just don’t understand.” He sighed. “Why would you think that? I’m with you. I wouldn’t be if I didn’t want to be.”

The drinks settling in your stomach did the talking for you. “Well, if she wasn't with him things would be a lot different, wouldn’t they?” Your tone was as cold as the wind. You didn’t mean it to be.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

You gripped his jacket tight around you. Holding onto it like you did when you first kissed. “Sometimes, it’s hard to accept your love.”

He didn’t respond, just let you continue. His hand started rubbing circles on your back.

“I feel like I’m taking something that isn’t mine.” Maybe if you were sober you could explain it better, but you carried on. “Or, I’m just holding my breath. Waiting.”

“Waiting for what?”

You’d feel more embarrassed without the alcohol running through your veins. But you sat there as tall as you could. Letting the insecurities bubble out in circles of angry shades of red. It wasn’t pretty, but it was real. It was what you’ve been bottling up for years now. “Waiting for it to go to its true destination.”

Logan looked up at the night sky. The wind ruffled his short hair. He looked so handsome in that all black suit he wore. One that you picked out just for him. He chuckled to himself, his eyes finding yours with a piercing gaze. He faced those words, seeing past the surface.

“I loved Jean once. That's the truth. But I’ve loved people before her. I’ve been alive for a long time.” He moved strains of hair from your face, resting his hand on your cheek. “But here’s another truth. I love you. Can’t you see that? Right here and now?”

You could see the genuine look in his eyes. You could always see it.

“And that’s not something I just give away. It’s also taken from me. You’ve taken it from me. And I’ve never been happier for you to have it, like I have yours.”

You nodded, sniffling. “I’m sorry.”

He shook his head, pulling you against his chest. “Don’t be. Just maybe next time, talk to me about this instead of holding it all in.”

You buried your head into his chest. Voice muffled against the dark fabric. “Says Mr. Wall builder himself.”

Logan kissed your head, fighting back the wind and a fit of laughter. “You got me there.”

#logan howlett x reader #the wolverine x reader #wolverine x reader #logan howlett #the wolverine #ravens masterlist

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natalievoncatte · 4 months ago

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Lena knew her pulse was racing, but Kara was either pretending not to notice or too tired to care. They were curled together tightly under the blanket, Kara’s head resting on Lena’s chest, the pair of them curled into each other with a desperate intensity.

An outside observer would see no difference between the way that Nia was tucked and folded neatly into Brainy, his head lolling against hers as they slept on the other side of the couch. Nor would they see any discrepancy between the way Kelly and Alex were stuffed together in the armchair next to it, curled up in one another like a pair of cats tucked in against a cold night.

The outside observer would see three couples who’d begun with a game night and progressed to an unplanned movie marathon and started to crash out and fall asleep, full of wine and mirth and too tired to get home.

One couple wasn’t. One of these pairings was just friends, and the knowledge of it was like a ragged gaping hole in her chest, where something had crushed and torn through her and left a gap that would never be filled.

Lena was terrified.

Alex and Kelly were married now. Nia and Querl were getting very serious. They were going to start building lives.

Kara’s coming out had gone well. She was truly growing into herself in a way that frightened Lena as much as it warmed her heart. The Girl was growing to equal the Super, Kara becoming more and more herself even without the crutch that her suit provided. She was uninhibited, free.

In her secret heart, Lena hated it. In the end, Kara had been right, damn her. The Secret had meant something. They once had a space that was uniquely theirs, where Kara was a person only Lena knew, that not even Alex ever experienced. Yes, the Secret frequently intruded, but in those moments where it hadn’t, where their mutual pining to be normal met and they used it to build a space all their own, the real Kara came out.

That space had been shattered by their falling out but rebuilt stronger, its foundations laid the day that Kara came home from the hell outside the multiverse, the first brick laid when Kara had leaned in as Lena broke their hug and stared at Lena’s lips.

God damn me, Lena thought, why didn’t I make the move? Why didn’t I do it?

The moment was lost.

She looked down at Kara now, purring away on her chest. Kara had begun embracing her alien self, slowly stripping away all the ablative secrets that she’d layered onto herself to pass for human. Lena was delighted to discover that Kara could do that; that if she relaxed it would happen on its own. It made Lena contented and sleepy, especially when they were close in like this.

God, she was so beautiful. Lena had never laid eyes on Kara’s equal and never would, and when she walked tall and smiled and flashed her easy, invulnerable confidence, the sight of her was almost unbearable. Looking at Kara left marks on Lena’s heart the way that looking at the sun left burnt streaks in her vision.

Fear, cold and merciless, clenched in her chest. One day it would happen. Someone would succeed where James and William had failed and Mon-El had come so close. They’d snatch her away and Kara would throw herself into it with abandon and Lena would lose her.

Lena pressed her eyes shut to fight back tears. She willed herself not to mourn a loss before its time, to savor the soft weight propped on her chest and the tangy scent of Kara’s skin but she couldn’t help herself.

“Lena?” Kara whispered.

With all the guilt of a thief found red-handed, Lena froze, her mouth dry.

“What’s wrong?”

Lena glanced around the room. The others were all sleeping soundly, passed out in each others arms. Lena wondered what that was like, to sleep with the joyful comfort of assurance that they would not wake alone, that the others would stay.

“Nothing,” Lena lied.

Kara knew. In the dark, her blue eyes seemed to emit a faint light, another peculiarity of Kryptonian physiology that Lena honestly just hadn’t noticed before The Secret was revealed.

Kara turned slightly, shifted, and tucked the blanket in close, wrapped tightly round them. It was chilly in her loft and Kara was like a living furnace, warming Lena’s cold bones. When Kara slipped a hand free, her skin was fever hot on Lena’s cheek. She leaned into the touch, greedy for it.

“It’s okay,” Kara murmured. “Nobody’s gonna get you while I’m here.”

Lena smiled sadly. Kara knew about the night terrors, about her fears and how she sometimes hated the dark, because the barriers of their friendship, the walls that defined it, were so bent and strained that they’d never return to shape, even as they refused to yield.

“That’s not what I’m scared of. I’m scared of when someone gets you.”

Kara blinked.

“Sooner or later you won’t have as much time for your best friend. You’ll find someone else.”

“Why would I want someone else?” Kara said, almost too loud. “I want you.”

Oh God, that hurt so much. It made the frayed edges of that hole in her ache, at once raw and fresh and old and desiccated. She couldn’t go on like this. Why did Kara say things like that?”

“Were you going to kiss me the night we got you back?”

Kara flinched, and now she looked the thief.

They were both silent. Kara stared.

“I was scared to. We’d only just… I was afraid everything would break.”

Lena swallowed hard.

“Kara, what the hell are you waiting for?”

She blinked a few times more, a storm of emotions clouding her angelic features. She flushed, eyes wide, and was looking directly, openly at Lena’s lips.

She tasted like cherry lip balm and red wine. Kara’s kisses were like Kara herself, ardent and gentle in equal measure, the chaste softness of pressed lips smoldering with the same alien fire that burned under her lushly warm skin. Lena moaned softly, and that from little more than a soft peck on the lips.

She was an addict who’d just tasted the ambrosia of her dreams and her head was spinning. In an instant everything had changed, though Kara had barely moved. There was something new in the way Kara’s arms snaked around her. A slight shift and Kara touched her forehead to Lena’s before kissing her again, deeply this time. Lena let her eyes drift shut and savored it.

“I. Am not. Going. Anywhere.”

There was a heavy, almost oppressive silence. A sob of relief choked out of Lena and she hugged Kara fiercely, freely, joyfully free to crush herself against her unbreakable love.

“I mean,” Alex said, “you could move to the bedroom. I think we’d all prefer that.”

Lena almost jumped out of her skin. Kara let out an equally surprised yelp, as they both realized that everyone else was awake and watching them get lost in each other.

Lena cleared her throat. Kara sat up. She was beet red, and Lena was sure she was, too.

“Guys,” said Kara. “Get out.”

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cambion-companion · 1 year ago

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Baldur's Gate 3 Characters with Virgin Reader

18+ only obviously. Dirty headcanons under the cut. (these are all the "good" endings btw

Halsin would honestly be a little in awed shock when you tell him. He'd treat you tenderly, go slowly and save the more rough lovemaking once you're accustomed to his...girth.

There is a lot of emotional connection that goes into the intimate act and knowing its his partner's first time would mean a great deal to him, he takes the perceived responsibility seriously.

Yall would have to go slow though, to accomodate the guy's size. Has strength as his dump stat yet is built like a brick house.

He's all for the game of seduction, especially if he is still unsure of where he stands with you and your party.

When discovering you're a virgin he acts the part, flirting and using honeyed words to manipulate your heart.

However as the two of you grow closer his feelings also change and he feels anxious about knowing he has your utter consent before taking things further.

He knows what it feels like to be used and wants to avoid causing you the same hurt and feelings of doubt, because against all odds he has begun to care for you.

So much foreplay...SO much foreplay. And you can be in whatever position you want, it's all about your comfort when the time comes to be intimate.

yeah she'd tease you at first, all in good fun, but still she has to get those sharp words in somewhere.

Soon enough the teasing gives way to concerned questions, not probing too deep into your feelings, but enough to give her hints as to how comfortable you feel with her.

We all know Shadowheart is a slow burn romance, so expect a long buildup while your relationship blossoms.

Lots of sweet kisses and witty flirtations, respecting each other's space until the time feels right to take it to the next level.

perhaps it's after one of your many swimming lessons where you Shadowheart takes the reins and becomes the teacher of a different kind of lesson.

She'd be asking questions throughout, listening to your responses and making sure everything is perfect and you're not feeling rushed.

Oh she would be so sweet. You know how Karlach is usually quite boisterous and tends toward the goofy side.

She'd sober up right quick when you discuss something so personal with her and she'd be quite pleased you decided to share this with her.

She promises to take it easy on you, at least at first wink wink, and she has the idea to allow you full control to explore her body as much as you wish.

Feel her heart, or at least where her heart used to be, it blazes hotter under your touch.

She might pop the occasional sweet joke, but her eyes and her care is on you the whole time.

She will ask if now is okay, and make sure to gain your express verbal permission before touching your body herself.

She is gentle at first, as promised, but it becomes hard for her to contain her enthusiasm as your coupling progresses. Remind her if you deem it necessary.

Gale, he'd be surprised but I think pleased.

He would want you to feel comfortable with him, and thus would info dump about his Tressym and the many books he's read about magic and the weave.

It's all about words of affirmation and quality time with Gale, he wants to show you and tell you how much you truly mean to him and reaffirm it is you, not Mystra, with whom is explosive heart now lies.

When the night comes, because he does prefer the romance of a star filled sky, he would ask you if you wish to become one with him.

Maybe astral sex is too soon for the first night, but you can certainly accept when he no doubt extends that offer.

I think it's pretty much canon that she beats the shit out of you when yall have intimate time...that wouldn't change on account of your virginity.

You'd tell her you're a virgin and she might not even know what that means, I wouldn't be surprised. Either that or she truly does not understand why you think it's important to mention.

She would encourage you to take initiative and assume a more dominant role, prodding you (probably with a stick) if you got too shy.

Later on, in her storyline when she becomes more of an individual unto herself, she will understand the softer aspects of lovemaking.

Then she will be more willing to empathize with the feelings that must come with a first-time coupling, and act a little slower accordingly.

Still prepare yourself for the occasional impatient "tchuk".

are you kidding, he'd be the ultimate gentleman.

He'd definitely get you a picnic and take you somewhere that smells better than the party camp and that stew Gale attempted to make for supper.

I feel like he'd be more forward than Gale or Karlach, wanting to feel some semblance of peace that your body and your affection could offer.

He'd for sure be drawn to your inexperience, feeling a sense of protectiveness overcome him. (yes yes I understand this post is full of innuendo)

Might wax poetic about his many adventures but pull him in for another kiss and he'll quickly forget his train of thought.

yes, I made him wait in line, little shit

This cambion knows how to fuck, sit down and block me if you vehemently disagree.

He finds out you're a virgin, and interested in him? Game over.

He plays the long game in all his dealings, and won't be bothered if you choose to play hard to get....in fact he prefers it. Cat and mouse etc.

He's not gentle, nope, but when you're finally in his claws you hardly want him to be.

Doesn't have the bonus of Incubus spittle acting as an aphrodisiac but has had many bedmates and centuries to study how best to use another's body to pleasure his own.

Oh and bring you pleasure of course.

Go play DOS2

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from-izzy · 1 month ago

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skating with you | nct lee donghyuck | haechan

Haechan leans his forehead to yours as your icy noses brush against each other, “Eyes on me, bubs,” he whispers.

pairing » nct lee donghyuck (haechan) x gn!reader (lmk if i missed anything!)

trope/au » established relationship au!, holiday theme!

genre » fluffy fluff fluff!, cheeky and slightly flirty haechan, and slightly flustered reader...?, cutie boyfriend haechan, no. 1 supportive and caring haechan, reader doesn't really know how to skate and haechan helps you through it, it's all so very lovely (and i need someone to help me skate-)

word count; estimated reading time » 850; ~4 mins

warnings (lmk if i missed anything!) » none!

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 nct dream masterlist

is this my last upload of the year...? we shall see!!

“If I fall flat on my face, this will be your fault,” your threat only seems harmless to your boyfriend.

Haechan skates further away from you, lightly showing off his skills of skating backward gracefully, even adding light twirl patterns on the ice. Meanwhile, you’re left at the rink's perimeter, hands gripping for support and eyes squinting playfully at your delightful boyfriend. You have no idea why you thought it was a good idea to go skating when you have minimal experience and are the clumsiest person you know. But Haechan had to jut his lower lip, eyebrows shaped into mountains to your poor heart. How could you say no to that face?

But, your weakness in saying no to your boyfriend has led you here. In the public ice skating arena. Back leaning onto the wall for dear life.

It’s been thirty minutes yet you haven’t made much progress from the entrance of the rink. Maybe it’s your fear of falling or the fear of competent younger children snickering at you falling to your knees. Haechan has made a few rounds around, even entertaining others with little tricks. Watching him from afar made your heart warm as others realised how lovable your boyfriend is. Children reach for a high five, adults smiling at the small talk or encouragement he would send as he passes by.

“Wanna hold my hand now?” Haechan skates beside you.

You've rejected the last few offers, determined to do at least half of the oval rink by yourself; you and the wall beside you. But balancing yourself on a somewhat thin metal as your knees shake with tensed muscles is taking more energy than you expected.

You give in, slumping your back on the wall, elbows propped up as you lean. “I just need to rest first.”

Haechan chuckles at you, making a final push on the ice to skate to you. His arms cage you between his frame, closing significant space between you both. Your eyes widen at his bold action, cheeks and neck heating at the fond eyes he’s placing upon your orbs. His eyelashes flutter prettily upon your features, a soft smile forming its way into your boyfriend’s place. The rowdy noises of the kids, metal swishing and passing behind Haechan all blur when Haechan steadies your once-leaning figure to stand with his hands securely encasing your waist.

It’s too bad that the cold temperature has you bundled up in a few layers or else you could feel the relaxing motion of his thumb caressing your side.

Haechan leans his forehead to yours as your icy noses brush against each other, “Eyes on me, bubs,” he whispers.

As per his words, you lock your eyes with him, only closing them once or twice when you’re fully supported by him. Your forearm instinctively rests on top of his, occasionally pushing them down due to your nervousness, still afraid of slipping and toppling over Haechan, potentially hurting both of you in the process.

“Don’t worry,” he eases your mind, pressing a quick kiss on your colder lips. “You’re going to be alright,” pressing his lips to yours again, leaving them there for a bit longer. “I’m not going to let you fall,” perfectly stealing your lips once more after you hum an acknowledgement to his words. “If you fall, it’s only going to be in my arms.”

You should’ve known he would sneak in a cheesy line or two, and your laughter makes you forget your anxiousness about being on the ice. Slowly, Haechan skates backwards again, this time with you in his hold. Admittedly, this has been his plan from the very start: to have you close like this as you conquer your fear and challenge; you’re not going to complain about this either.

Haechan is a great skating teacher, pulling and guiding you out of your comfort ice. Both of you dance in the rink for an hour together. It starts with you facing him as he distracts you from paying too much attention to what your body is doing, instead prompting you to naturally let you relax into the situation. Then slowly, he takes his place next to you, his palm holding your forearm. Then, linking hands together for the final stage before he lets you go after you find the confidence to brave the environment once more.

You almost lost your balance for a while, hunching your back to hold your knee. “You can do it!” Your boyfriend hollers encouragement behind you. Soon those words become more familiar, your proud boyfriend behind you stealing everyone’s attention at your successful solo skating.

You did a full lap with no support from him or the wall. You leap into Haechan’s arm at the end line, Haechan littering kisses all over your face. The golden hour highlights his face, his smiling beaming further from the rays of the sun.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have been such a good teacher. And you shouldn’t be so talented either!” Your eyebrows raise at his words, unsure of where he’s going, “Now, you won’t need my help anymore…”

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 nct dream masterlist

tags: @k-films @kflixnet @starlit-network @kstrucknet @ncity-net

@haneul-and-clouds

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animeshotsh · 4 months ago

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Them as Husbands | HCS |

Summary: Dating + Getting married

Warnings: Mentions of Alastor tendecies, grammar mistakes.

☆ LUCIFER

Best Husband ever.

He gives off the husband of the year.

Will open doors for you, will get you gifts because of a very simple reason (ducks)

Never lets you go away alone, he knows no one would dare hurt the S/O of the king of hell but still...he prefers to be sure.

Will buy whatever you want, even if you were looking at something out of curiosity, its yours.

Is going to introduce you to Charlie and hope you two get along well. Probably Charlie already knows about you since her dad was worried she would see him trying to remplace her mother. But Charlie is actually happy to see her father moving on and being happier!! She is fully supportive.

proposed to you in a wold yet amazing way. This man is down bad for you. Will get the perfect place, music, set up, get on one knee and ask you to be by his side for the eternity.

☆ VOX

He never expected himself to be a husband...with how fast the world progress and how relationships seems well just a thing to past time, he was sure he was out of the game.

Then he meets you, and he glitches because now all these romantic dramas he sees at 1am make sense to him. How everything slows down when he sees you, how the sounds are muffled when talking to you.

He does so many virus and hacks checks on himself to be sure what he feels.

Then is a nervous tv head. This man knows how to flirt and sleep around, not date. Its going to be akward but sweet. He falls first and hard. No one could ever make him dream on getting married.

The ďay he finally proposes is away form cameras, he prefers privacy for this (and is afraid you will say not but he also does not want to social pressure you).

Oh and when you say yes...the news are all about it. He is so dam happy, no one has ever seen him this happier (well unless is Alastor losing).

As a husband he is a gentlemen. He makes your house/aparment all last generation, so you only have to worry over sleeping and doing your hobbies.

Has the best emergency and security in your home/aparment. He is away most of the day so he likes to be sure you are safe and ok.

Yes, will spy you using cameras.

☆ STOLAS

Baby Owl wants a S/O who will respect him and love him for who he is.

Its going to be very and i mean very wary of your intentions with him. He may sleep with you and kiss you but wont fall fast. He is too hurt for that.

Once he feels enough confidence he will ask you to date him directly, no fooling around, you and him.

Will introduce you to Octavia and will be in cloud nine once you two start to bond.

His proposal is well, in space itself. Will take you to your favorite planet, to see the born of a star (signaling the start of your marriage with him) and ask you getting on one knee.

As a husband he is very sweet and tender. Always making sure you are happy with him and with your life. He does not want it to fail so he gives his best. Will need your support on it. Its not shy to cry to you about his fears.

Wants to have another kid with you, by adopting or impregnating you. Its your choice.

☆ ALASTOR

He comes from a time of change but believes once two peopel are dating they must get married sooner or later.

Well, getting him to date you is hard. It takes a lot for the idea to even pass by his head and stay. But somehow you end dating him.

He is someone who prefers quiet dates, you two and thats it. Will take you out if you ask him.

Since he pretty much has the idea of marry you since he accepted you as his S/O he will prepare something more special. Probably a dinner and a sweet speech with jazz in the background.

Letting aside his tendecies and him being a murder he is another gentlemen with you. Opens doors for you, dances with you. If you are from his same period of time he may expect you to make him food, but dont worry if you dont want to he will understand.

Is protective. Knows he has enemies, thats why he has one shadow with you all the time.

#hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel x you #alastor x reader #lucifer x reader #vox x reader #stolas x reader

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bigtedbear · 6 months ago

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“ 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐮𝐥𝐭: 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝗼𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐯𝐞 “

𝐩𝐫𝗼𝗺𝐩𝐭: 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝗼𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐜𝗼𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞, 𝐲𝗼𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧’𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝗺 𝐭𝗼 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐲𝐚𝐧! 𝐝𝐚𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐧𝐠 𝗼𝐮𝐭 𝗼𝐟 𝐲𝗼𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝

content warning: 18+ NSFW, 𝐌𝐃𝐍𝐈, gay sex, anal penetration, monster anatomy (specifically dragon anatomy), unsafe sex (cover your stump before you hump), mutual pining, mutual obsession, yandere themes, male reader, amab reader, yandere reader, yandere character, talks of mating rituals, biting, just a wee bit of blood, codependency, obsessive behavior, a lot of concerning talk but if you look at it from afar it's actually not that bad they just match each other's freak really well, march 7th, himeko, and caelus as the best enabler wingmen ever

Part 1 here: " unexpected variable "

" welcome back caller @hikarisecret! connecting your line as we speak! "

"Would you happen to be interested in meeting up more often?"

He immediately stopped in place.

Nervously, you twiddled your thumbs from the doorway to your small office.

It'd been about a month since you'd help Dan Heng get through his early heat. You'd let contact drop for a couple weeks, something he'd known would probably happen but also something he'd desperately hoped wouldn't occur. He'd only really spoken to you for an extended period of time on a handful of occasions. Being one of the few researchers that followed a path aside from the endless pursuit of knowledge, he was curious.

So maybe he'd always had a little bit of a crush, but March always called you "eye candy" for when they stopped at the Space Station. It never progressed any further than a couple chats, some red cheeks, and a some pleasantries here and there.

Then the Antimatter League wormed its way into the station and there you were, at the forefront of the evacuation efforts. Instead of being an aloof, distant researcher with a mind that was roaming the stars, you were alert and concentrated. You were so quick to help, it seemed you hadn't really wrapped your head around the imminent danger right in front of you.

That was truly when his little crush turned into something a little bit more than he was prepared to handle.

He was asking for you around the station when he had the chance, after all he was too shy to approach someone randomly and start interrogating them on the whereabouts of their coworker. He also knew he was a little bit more intimidating and came off as cold to most.

His inquiries actually did the opposite of what he had hoped. Knowing he was looking around for you, he thought you might be inclined to make yourself more available to maybe slack off occasionally or just stick around and chat for a few minutes. Instead of that happening, it seemed the more people seemed to remember your existence, the more people tried to look for you.

It was never out of malice, of course, they just remembered they had a less than social coworker. They'd make the effort to say hello to you in the halls, stop in at your office to say hi and maybe bring a coffee every now and then. But it seemed you were less than eager to entertain anyone when you were constantly burying your head in your studies.

Eventually, when your coworkers would stop in at your office, they'd find you weren't there. You were constantly switching between different labs and areas to conduct tests and gather data to solidify your latest thesis. Instead of becoming more social, easier to find, it seemed you retreated even further into your shell and avoided coming into contact with anyone else all together. Trying to find you became akin to trying to hold sand in a sieve.

That was precisely why he was so surprised when you suddenly invited him for a meeting to discuss the Vidyadhara of the Xianzhou Alliance. As soon as they were back on the Astral Express, it seemed someone managed to whisper enough information into your ear to pique your interest in the species. As of now, he had his theories, but he couldn't figure out whether it was Caelus or March that let everything slip.

When you invited him back to your office after what happened to continue your little conversation, he briefly wondered if this was a little bit too good to be true. While yes, you were nothing if not a dedicated genealogy researcher, that didn't stop him from wondering if you might have different intentions.

The last time he'd been in your office, the two of you were stuck in bed for nearly a week for his heat period. Inviting him back to your office again seemed a little bit too much like an invitation after too little time to be considered a coincidence. Did you want to get him in your bed again? Did you plan on trying to get something out of him now that you knew he actively fantasized about you on his lonesome? Then again, he realized he didn't really care if the answer to either of those questions was yes.

Of course, none of his suspicions were confirmed to be true.

You were professional, almost disappointingly so. Everything you asked him was less than personal, all aimed towards furthering your understanding of the Xianzhou Alliance as a whole. You finished your round of questions about his biology, and then you moved on to culture and social etiquette.

When you offered to walk him back to the docking area, he felt a little bit hopeless. No more closeness in conversation, it seemed you severed all intimacy the moment he wasn't in heat anymore.

But now, you stood in front of him, nervous and asking if he wanted to see you again?

'Yes, yes, yes, yes,' He would love to see you again, especially if it was for something that wasn't work related.

He would take what he could get in general. If you asked him to be your lab assistant or something, he would be so much more than just happy to say yes. Whatever time you wanted to spend with him, he would make himself available.

But he was just as socially inept as you were; Dan Heng sat in a slack-jawed stupor as he tried to his best to piece together sentences with the little fragments of thoughts swirling around in a white flurry. His mouth opened; he tried to talk, but every time he tried to make any statements, he doubled back and retracted it in favor of trying to think of something better to say.

At his reaction, you waved it off disappointedly. "Forget it, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I just thought-" You cut yourself off again, biting the inside of your cheek.

It seemed the archivist finally managed to recompose himself, "No, I-" He paused, trying to put his feelings into words, "I'm just surprised you wanted to spend time together. I assumed that once you gathered the relevant information, we would go back to being acquaintances that didn't speak very often."

You shook your head, awkwardly trying to lighten the mood with a strained laugh, "I'll admit that's what I planned to do a month ago, but before we.." you trailed off, "...y'know, you mentioned that I only seemed to talk to you when I needed something from the astral express archives. I didn't really think it would be fair of me to keep exploiting your kindness like that."

He shook his head, "The archives are always open to whoever wishes to read them, I didn't mean to make it sound like you were taking advantage of anything."

You chewed on the inside of your lip this time, trying to think of a way to put it into words. "Well, it's not just that I realized I was benefitting from your kindness without putting any real effort back in, the thought occurred to me... I just don't speak to anyone outside of when I need to know something."

He remained quiet.

To thin out the building tension, you added on, "Arlan's told me before that it's really not healthy to live that way." You clasped your hands behind your back, "I thought since you mentioned being upset with the fact that we don't ever get to talk, maybe spending time together would be a good opportunity for me to start reintegrating into a more social scene?"

"Oh."

You nodded, "I apologize if it seems like I'm just trying to use you, I truly do want to become friends." You kicked at nothing in particular on the ground, averting eye contact. "I'm just afraid I don't know how to be friends with anyone anymore."

He let the silence take the place of the conversation. It wasn't that he was thinking about whether or not he wanted to take you up on your offer, it was how to do it elegantly without seeming desperate.

You bit the inside of your cheek, "You don't have to make the decision now, I just thought it would come off as insincere if I asked over text."

After another pause, he bobbed his head up and down slowly. "I don't know if I'm the right person to ask, but if you're asking me to be your friend, I won't say no."

"Mr. Yang, do you know what's wrong with Dan Heng?"

March played with the hem of her skirt, nerves clear and obvious to all three trailblazers in the room, "I was going to ask him if he wanted to go back to Belobog with me and Caelus, but his door's locked."

Welt hummed, "It could well be related to all that transpired on the Xianzhou. It may be best if you leave him to his thoughts."

March shook her head adamantly, "No, it can't be! He just made a trip to the Space Station a few days ago." She put her hands on her hips, "Besides, even when he's in a bad mood, he doesn't lock his door. He's always weirdly strict on insisting everyone has access to the archives."

He nodded again, putting a contemplative hand on his chin. "That is true." He offered another idea, "Well, did the two of you think to ask him? Perhaps he'd answer if you sent him a text."

"March wanted to yell at him through the door, but we thought it might be better to see if anyone knew anything first," Caelus countered.

Mr. Yang nodded, "Have you consulted Himeko? She's a little bit closer to Dan Heng than I am, she might be able to offer more perspective on the situation."

March 7th nodded enthusiastically, "Thanks, Mr. Yang!"

He nodded, returning to staring at the expanse of stars just past his fingertips outside the glass windows of the express. "It's no problem, let me know if there's any serious updates on the situation."

As the two younger and less experienced nameless made their way towards Himeko's desk at the back of the express, March did her best to try and put together the pieces in her head. While it wasn't clear whether or not she was trying to start a dialogue with Caelus, the timeline went as such.

Dan Heng is revealed to be the Imbibitor Lunae while on the Xianzhou Alliance's ship.

He resolves the crisis with Phantylia resulting in the lifting of his banishment from the Xianzhou.

He sticks around on the Alliance to deal with matters relating to his past life's status as the High Elder of the Vidyadhara.

He makes a trip to Herta's Space Station for mysterious reasons that nobody knows.

He makes it back to the express, he locks himself in his room.

Before the two of them can realize the glaringly obvious hole in the timeline, they're stood in front of Himeko's desk. March, as always, is the one to officially start the questioning. "Himeko! Have you noticed anything weird about the way Dan Heng's been acting lately?"

After taking another drawn out sip of her coffee, she hummed... "I suppose I have, but he's also just come back from a place with what I can only assume is a lot of bad memories. I'm sure if he's given a little bit of space, he'll be back to the same old Dan Heng in no time."

March 7th pursed her lips, "I would agree with you if this wasn't so weird!" She crossed her arms, "He doesn't ever lock his door! Not when he's in a bad mood, not even when he's changing for crying out loud!"

Himeko nodded, bringing her mug back up to her lips silently. "I guess that is a little bit weird... do you two happen to have any idea what he's been up to lately?"

"Well, when we all boarded the Express again, he made a stop at the Herta Space Station. We could be looking at this all wrong." Caelus crossed his arms, "Maybe instead of something happening on the Xianzhou, something happened at the Space Station. He was there about a month ago and then again a few days ago. I think he stayed for around a week the first time."

The moment the words passed the newest addition to the astral express's lips, both women paused in their tracks.

"..."

Himeko was the first to break the silence, lowering her "lifeblood" back onto its coaster on her desk. "March, you don't think... do you?"

Immediately, after Himeko broke the silence, March 7th let a happy squeal and started waving her hands around, "Oh, my, aeons! Himeko, do you know what this means?!"

Caelus could only look between the two of them in complete and utter confusion. "Am I missing something?"

Before Himeko could answer any potential questions, March was already running back towards the archivist's locked door, yelling his name at the top of her lungs, "Dan Heng, you sly dog!"

Caelus could only look back at Himeko with a brow raised.

She cleared her throat, "Well, I guess now is a better time than never to find out."

"Find out?" He voice trailed up at the end, "Find out what?"

Himeko put her hands on her desk, "Well... Dan Heng, as you know, is not always the most approachable person." She drummed her nails on the desk, "But it happens even he isn't immune to his emotions."

The trailblazer paused, "So Dan Heng's acting like this cause he likes someone? And they work at the space station?"

Himeko nodded her head, gesturing towards the hallway. "I'd tell you more, but it seems March is pretty intent on getting those answers out of him for herself."

Caelus nodded, uncrossing his arms. "Well, can I ask you a question?"

Himeko nodded, turning back to her monitor and gripping her mug of coffee once again. "Sure, go ahead." She lifted it to her lips, taking in a long swig.

"Is it that one guy March started texting about Vidyadharas?"

Immediately, she let out a strangled noise into her drink.

Were you even the same person?

"Arlan? Arlan!"

You snapped your fingers in front of his face, "Earth to Arlan? Hello?"

He shook his head back and forth, trying to snap out of the mini daze he was in. "I- Yeah, sorry. You're just... different, is all."

You raised your brow, looking down at your uniform. You pulled at your collar, "Did Miss Asta's suggestions really do all that much? I don't think I look too different."

Arlan's brows creased at a point on his forehead. "I guess they did, work-life balance looks good on you."

Instead of the barely alive looking researcher he constantly found himself hanging out with, it looked as if you were glowing in the fluorescent light of the cafeteria.

You nodded, "You know, I feel a lot better than I usually do." You paused, poking at your well-portioned and prepared meal in front of you, "Sometimes I still feel guilty about how little work I get done in comparison to when I didn't focus on the little things."

Arlan was quick to agree, "Yeah, I understand the feeling." He picked at his own food, eating a mouthful of the fried-rice Lady Asta loved so much. "Still, if you're looking better and feeling better, you're doing better all around."

For the first time since you set foot on the station, you'd taken the week off under the guidance of Lead Researcher Asta. She always scolded your ear off for working your fingers to brittle bone, but it seemed when you actually took her recommendations to heart, something in you fundamentally shifted.

Instead of skipping sleep to observe DNA strands for a few extra hours near midnight? You were turning in at a specified time every night and waking up at the appropriate hour the next morning. It was the first time you'd really grown accustomed to the sound of your phone alarm. Usually, you didn't sleep for 48 hours and then you would crash for 16.

Instead of getting so absorbed in your research you were forgetting to eat, you set aside the new found time taken away from research to make yourself a healthy, nutritious meal for each sitting of the day. You made yourself a breakfast that would warm up well in the morning, made yourself a hearty lunch to make sure you had enough energy to get through the day, and then a light dinner to make sure your digestive system wouldn't have to go into overdrive while you slept.

Originally, when you read up on self-care, you weren't all too sure you could make all the changes without some kind of drastic shift in your schedule immediately. But you were determined, you wouldn't let your social life pass you by any longer!

Instead of shying away from the challenge, you started small. You'd implement times in your routine where you would regularly stop and eat based on timers on your phone. You set an alarm for yourself to remind yourself it was time to stop working and go home.

Then, when you finally were ready to make the big leap, you consulted Asta and managed to get her to pull a few strings to get you some time off.

You took your week off to strengthen all of your healthy habits and kill off all the bad ones. You didn't have the opportunity to neglect yourself when it really was the only thing you could do. You started working out again to pass the time, you even got Arlan to drop Peppy off to keep you company when he was getting to be a handful around the station.

Arlan took a moment to thoroughly chew his food and swallow it, "As happy as I am that you're finally seeing the light, what exactly prompted all this change?"

You paused, seemingly chewing your own food slower in response. "Well, I want to start trying to make more friends."

He raised a brow, "I guess it's usually easier to make friends if you're taking care of yourself."

You nodded, "I mean, yeah, but I didn't really feel the need to look or feel better because I was really focused on my work and stuff like that." You averted your eyes, "You have to promise not to laugh at me if I tell you this."

Arlan could only feel himself getting more suspicious by the second, "Okay... I won't laugh at you. But why would I laugh at you?"

"I'm a little pathetic," you laughed, awkwardly at best. "I-". You paused again, taking a deep breath, "I don't know, I set up to meet with this guy in Aurum Alley on the Xianzhou Alliance ship and I didn't want him to have to walk around with someone that looked like a walking corpse. You and Asta always joke that I'm the walking dead and I-"

Arlan held up his hand, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, that's a lot to unpack to start off with." You blinked at him, snapping your jaw shut immediately. "Me and Asta only joke about that because you treat yourself like you want to be walking corpse. You hardly take care of yourself."

You nodded, swallowing a glob of spit.

"Second of all," he picked up another spoonful of rice, "Who are you meeting? Why do you think you need to change yourself to be good enough to just walk around someplace with him?"

You sighed, "That's the problem, I don't really know." You poked at your food with your fork, "He's just really cool. He's got a lot of friends and he has a really exciting life but he kind of just chooses to try and hang out with me. I don't really think I'm worth that much effort and yet he goes out of his way to try and look for me? It just feels like I'm letting him down if I don't put in the same kind of effort."

Arlan's face scrunched up, "Are you talking about Dan Heng?"

You tilted your head, "How did you know?"

"Well, he kind of follows you around like a lost puppy dog." He took another bite of his food, "He's not gonna care whether or not your eyebags are darker or if you're a little bit on the thinner side. He's already long decided he wants to be around you even at you worst."

You bit your lip, considering it for a moment. "I don't know what it is, but I feel like if anything goes wrong in Aurum Alley it's going to be life-ruining."

"What do you mean by that?" He frowned, "That... sounds really ominous."

You held your head in your free hand, "I don't know, I just feel like if he thinks I'm weird or disgusting or anything like that I wouldn't be able to live with myself."

"Hey, let's back it up." Arlan set his spoon down on the table, "It's just a meet-up with a guy, nothing's going to happen if your date fails. If you have an awful date, there's always going to be the chance to make it up the next time. Besides, as long as you two are good spirited about it, there's no such thing as a bad date unless he like... I don't know, poisons you or something."

You chewed on the inside of your cheek, thinking it over.

For the first time during the entire conversation, you looked him directly in the eyes.

"...I just feel like letting go after getting in this close isn't an option anymore."

"March? Caelus?"

Said girl nervously laughed, shrinking behind the newspaper she was trying to hide her face in. “Uh oh…”

Next to her, Caelus shook his head, “Busted.”

Dan Heng stood, a little bit behind you, huffing through his nose. While he didn’t say anything momentarily, the nature of his expression indicated he was more than just cross with the other nameless tag-alongs. “What are the both of you doing in Aurum Alley? I thought you both said you were busy today.”

March quickly went to defend herself, folding the rather large newspaper shut. “We are busy! We… just happen to be busy here!”

Next to her, Caelus nodded his head intently.

His arms across his chest, the tail trailing from his lower back smacked against the ground in an annoyed fashion. He tapped his finger on his forearm a couple times, “What exactly are the two of you busy with? This is the one day I told the both of you I would be visiting the Xianzhou Alliance.”

While nobody outright accused each other of anything, the implication was clear. March 7th and Caelus were here because they knew Dan Heng would be on a date. They were only here because they knew he would be on a date. Instead of just checking in on him, they took it upon themselves to follow their fellow passenger and his unfortunate partner around. With all the tension that started to blot the air like little rain clouds, you took it upon yourself to try and cut through it. “Aren’t you in charge of commerce in Aurum Alley? I heard from one of my coworkers that his wife has started ordering from the Food Stand here.”

Automatically picking up on your out, Caelus nodded, “I was, but I handed it off to the Commerce Guild’s acting president. She, uh-” He sputtered over his words, “She asked for some help packing up a few Starskiffs and March didn’t have anything to do today, so… she tagged along?”

You nodded, a little bit shyly, “Speaking of which, have you tried any of the food from the stand? I’ve heard they recently upgraded their entertainment, but I haven’t heard much about the food quality.”

March excitedly added in her two cents, “Oh! Me and Caelus were about to head that way! He said that the Tall Auntie running the place usually has some freebies for him since he helped the store set-up their take-out ordering system!”

Your eyes glinted excitedly, “Really? I didn’t hear about that part.” You clasped your hands together, “You really live up to all the rumors I hear on the station. Didn’t you also set up the marketing campaign with the current High Elder of the Vidyadhara?”

Before he could answer, Dan Heng waved the pair off with a hand. “I’m sure we can continue this conversation some time later. They said they were busy, we wouldn’t want to make them late to anything.”

March was quick to interject, “Actually! We’re going on a lunch break real quick!” She turned to Caelus, putting a hand on his shoulder, “Right?”

He nodded again, “We should all go to Tall Aunty’s Food Stand.”

You opened your mouth to voice your agreement before your companion cut in, “No need, we planned on grabbing lunch later.”

You looked at him, blinking a couple times. Before you could say anything, March was already up in arms. “It wouldn’t hurt you guys to move up your lunch plans, besides, this is our only lunch break until we have to go back to work!”

Instead of confirming or denying March’s statement, the trailblazer stood back and simply listened to the argument. You chose to do the same.

Dan Heng, on the other hand, let more displeasure drip into his expression. “We didn’t plan on running into each other while we were out, your plans and our plans happen to be different. We can arrange another time for the four of us to get lunch at the food stall.”

March put her hands on her hips, “Well, you guys are just hanging out, right? It couldn’t hurt to just push back those plans to roam so you can spare some time to talk with friends.” When she didn’t get any response from Dan Heng, she clasped her hands together in front of her chest, “Please? Pretty please? It’s been so long since all of us have seen each other!”

“Hmph.”

The person you’d originally come to Aurum Alley with was unmoved by her earnest plea, but you were somewhat swayed. Your face twisted in sympathy. “...Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to just go out to lunch with them this once. Aurum Alley will still be here when we get done eating, I haven’t had the time to meet up with March lately or even get to know Caelus. It might be good for me to make more friends.”

He opened his mouth to protest, but he was cut off by March. She threw her arm over your shoulder, “See? He gets it!”

You curled in on yourself from the sudden change in position, leaning to the side a bit so she could actually hook her forearm around your biceps. Caelus finally decided now would be the best time to contribute to the conversation, “I don’t think I’ve talked to [name] before, I’ve been curious about their work since Lady Asta, Herta, and Arlan seem to hold him in high regard as a researcher.”

You shook your head, putting your hands up. You were a little scrunched in the position, “Oh, please don’t misunderstand, I’m really nothing all that special.”

March shook her head, “Nonsense, you’re one of the best at the Space Station! I heard you used to help a lot of interns before you started focusing on Genealogy!”

You crumpled in on yourself, “Well, that’s usually the usual career path for researchers at the station in general. Before we find our specialized area of research, you generalize and if anyone asks you to train them, you train them.” Scratching your chin nervously, “Besides, I’ve kind of put work on the back burner in favor of trying to take better care of myself.”

“Oh! I’d been meaning to ask about that, your skin is glowing!” March added, “I remember Asta always used to call you some kind of zombie whenever you came up in conversation.”

Caelus tilted his head to the side, “Really?”

Your cheeks turned a soft shade of pink, “Yeah, everyone says I look really different now. I usually get a lot more comments about how there’s more color in my skin or something along those lines.”

The conversation went on for a little longer before Dan Heng sighed, he pressed a couple of his fingers to his temple. “I-” He closed his mouth, pinching the skin of his lip between his upper and lower set of teeth. “-I guess getting lunch together wouldn’t change our plans all that much.”

“Yes!” March threw a fist into the air, ecstatic at the sudden change in plans. She pointed a thumb over at the trailblazer, leaning in to talk behind her other hand. “Caelus has been wanting to meet you, Dan Heng mentions you a lot on the express.”

You felt your cheeks smolder at the suggestion, “He… does?”

Dan Heng cleared his throat, his own cheeks dusted a matching scarlet, “We should get going, we don’t want to get caught up in the middle of the lunch rush.”

March gave a cheeky smile, “Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, Dan Heng.”

"I'm not exactly sure what you mean by... a 'surprise'."

“A surprise is just something you don’t know about,” Caelus answered, rather monotone.

Dan Heng grimaced ever so slightly, “If that’s the case, can I be sure I want to be privy to this...surprise then?”

March 7th punched her gray-haired raccoon-in-crime in the shoulder. She shot him a stern look, as stern as she could look with her cutesy exterior. Turning her attention back to the man they were trying to convince to head out to the lobby of the Express, she did her best to plead her case, “You’ve been holed up in your room since last week! We just wanted to give you a little gift that might cheer you up a bit.”

He raised a brow quizzically, arms still crossed over his chest. “Can you guarantee this is a gift I’ll like? Or is it going to be something like being invited to you and Himeko’s girls’ night again.”

Caelus’s head snapped to March.

Said passenger cleared her throat, “This is something you’ll like-” She put a hand on her heart, the other balling into a fist resting on her hip, “I swear it on all my honor!”

Dan Heng looked over them again, gaze swapping between the two incredulously. In the meantime, both of them were sweating bullets. They didn’t know how long they had before “the surprise” would arrive at the station. After a drawn out pause, however, he shook his head, “Fine, but if it’s anything like your previous gifts, this is the last time I trust you.”

Marched pumped a fist into the air with a loud cheer, Caelus, on the other hand, put both hands on Dan Heng’s shoulders. He flipped his fellow trailblazer around to face towards the door to his room, all but pushing him. March followed after him excitedly. The one thought running through the guy usually dragged into all their shenanigans was an inner turmoil sparked by the dread swirling through his cranium.

The short walk to the door dividing the lobby and the residential areas of the train was punctuated by Caelus hurriedly covering his eyes. As such, said swirling dread started to elevate into alarm bells sweeping through his nervous system as well. This wasn’t a simple invite to an event or anything of the sort, it was tangible and you could see it.

“Is covering my eyes necessary?”

March confirmed this from behind him, “Yes, absolutely necessary!”

As the door to the lobby swung open when they got close enough, he could hear faint chatter from Pom-Pom, Welt, and Himeko through the door. The alarm bells dotting his body seemed to blare all the louder and cast off more red light when the talks quieted down immediately.

His hands balled up into fists at his side, flexing and unflexing as a result of his nerves. Before he could ask any more questions, the hands that were covering his eyes suddenly were retracted.

He blinked a few times, trying to figure out what exactly he was seeing. Okay so, the first elephant in the room. You were in the middle of the parlor car, in your street clothing rather than your uniform. One hand wrapped its fingers around the handle of a rolling suitcase. Your other arm was hanging limp at your side and your posture sort of crumpled in on itself. Even when you spoke, your voice was just a smidge shaky. "Surprise?"

Even though he hadn’t meant to be aggressive in the slightest, his voice was a little bit sharp when he questioned, “What are you doing here?”

In response, your own voice seemed to get stuck in your throat filter, “Well, I-” You started, making a circular motion with your free hand, “I thought it might be time for me to make some changes in life and I got an invitation from the astral express…” the sentence trailed off afterwards.

“So you’re saying…”

You shrugged, “I just thought it’d be rude since the astral express doesn’t ever really invite anyone to become a passenger and I was already a little bit bored on the Space Station-” You coughed into a fist, “Himeko was the one who reached out originally, stating there was a gap in the Express’s skill set. She said that since I was already a friend, the train would be happy to have me.”

Dan Heng waited for you to continue, but when you didn’t he added in his own little stamp of input. “When you said you were moving, you meant you were going to be… joining the express?”

Your hand finally left your suitcase, held up defensively alongside your free hand, “Well, March told me it’d be best to keep it a secret!” You nervously averted eye contact, “When I asked Lady Asta whether or not it'd be okay, she agreed it’d be a harmless little prank.”

Mr. Yang hummed thoughtfully, “It seems only you and I were kept in the dark. I only learned there would be a new addition to the crew yesterday.”

Himeko chortled next to him, crossing her legs in her seat, “Well, I guess it slipped my mind.”

You took a deep breath, “I was getting pretty tired of the same wake up, research all day, eat a few times, and then go back to bed. I was always a little bit jealous of all the stories you’d tell from your trailblazing expeditions as one of the nameless because I’ve only ever known my home planet and the Station.” You motioned to the navigator of the Astral Express, “Himeko said that there would always going to be new things you all haven’t encountered before, it would be useful to have someone learned in technology that could dissect any new contraptions we came across.” You sighed, “I might’ve jumped the gun a little bit, but can you blame me?”

When you gave him the chance to speak, he immediately asked about the only real concern he had, “But... your research, you always talked about how important it was to you.”

You nodded, “Oh, don’t get me wrong, it's more important to me than life itself. That's why I didn't quit my job, Arlan and Asta pleaded my case to Herta and I’m transitioning to remote work.” You kicked at the air with one foot, “It also helps that Lady Herta has been interested in expanding her areas of research so she can implement new things into the Simulated Universe.”

Dan Heng took a second to mull it over, “So you’re going to move onto the express, for good?”

You nodded excitedly, grabbing the handle of your luggage again.

“Yes, I’m becoming one of the nameless.”

"You asked to see me?"

Arlan glanced up from where he was sitting at his desk. Setting down the tablet he was reading a new report on, he pushed it to the side. “Sorry, I didn’t expect you to be here so soon.” He gestured to the seat in front of him, “Please, have a seat. I just had a couple things I wanted to talk about.”

The archivist nodded, pulling the chair out so he could properly settle in. “Of course.” Upon seating himself and getting comfortable, he broke the silence again, “What is it that you wanted to discuss?”

The head security officer bit at the inside of his cheek, trying to find the most sensitive way to broach the topic. He tapped his finger on the desk, before deciding to rip off the band-aid pretty quickly, “Have you noticed any changes in [name] as of late?”

Dan Heng blinked a couple times. “Not particularly, did you?”

“Well,” He swallowed, “I’m just a little worried about him. I don’t know how he’s been doing since he left for the express, but before he left he said some concerning things. I couldn’t tell if he meant them or not.”

In response, Dan Heng tried not to pry too hard. However, since it did concern you, he felt it also concerned him. “What kinds of things did he say?”

Arlan paused again, trying to really think things over before making an even bigger deal out of them, “I don’t know if you can call them weird on their own, but he just doesn’t… say things like that ever. It’s out of character for him and I’m afraid it’ll get worse now that me and Lady Asta won’t be there to keep him in check.”

“I can’t exactly help if I don’t know what he said,” Dan Heng reasoned, “The only real change I noticed was his relationship with his work. Since he’s been on the express, he’s been working a lot more. Aside from that, he seems to enjoy setting aside time to run around with March and Caelus. I find I have a lot more time alone because it seems they’ve started alternating between the two of us to rope into their schemes.”

Arlan nodded, “I guess that makes me feel a little bit better.”

The other man nodded back at him in response, “Still, what did he say that had you concerned? As one of his friends, I feel obligated to make sure he’s alright.”

“Well, I feel a little bit awkward saying it since it was originally about you.” To this, Arlan drummed his fingers on his desk, “It started a couple days before the two of you went out for the first time to Aurum Alley. He started talking about how he felt he wasn’t cool enough to be around you, that he needed to change somehow so he wouldn’t embarrass you.”

Dan Heng nodded, keeping his mouth shut.

The security officer’s frown deepened, “But it just got worse from there. I don’t want to scare you or anything, but he’s… weird about you-really weird.”

“...about me specifically?” Dan Heng’s head cautiously leaned to the side.

Arlan bobbed his head up and down quickly, “Yeah, just you.” He let his hands go limp on the table, “He’s been doing really good otherwise. It’s just like he took all his unhealthy habits and converted them into these weird thoughts and ideas about you.” He raised one of his hands to count out each of the changes on his fingers, “He’s started eating healthy, eating regularly, working out again, he actually sleeps on time, and he’s making friends, arguably he’s doing better than he has for a long time.” He leaned his face on his other hand, “But then he’ll start talking about you and it’s like a demon’s hiding under his tongue.”

The astral express passenger pursed his lips, trying to hide the audible drumming of his heart in his ears. “Well, what kinds of things does he say?”

Arlan paused, chewing on his lip, “He talks about you like this kind of unattainable goal.” He shifted to rest both his forearms on the table. “There’s just this weird far off look in his eyes and I can tell he’s only saying half the stuff on his mind. All these half-baked thoughts about how he doesn’t deserve to hang out with you, muttering about ways he can change himself to be more ‘worthy’ of your time or whatever. It’s scaring me.”

“...”

“...I don’t know.” Arlan sighed, “I want to be happy for how much progress he’s making but he isn’t making it for himself.”

“...he really said all those things about me?”

Arlan seemed a little taken aback, “Uh, yeah… he did.”

He swallowed a glob of spit down his throat, “And you’re saying all these changes for the better have been because he wants to impress me?”

Arlan took a moment to think before responding. Slowly, he nodded his head, “Yeah… it’s why I asked if you noticed any changes. He talks about you a lot and you guys seem to be hanging out more than ever.”

“That’s… a little bit concerning.”

Arlan didn’t answer back immediately. He could feel something was a little bit… off. “Yeah, that’s… kind of why I wanted to bring it up to you.”

Upon hearing the suspicion in the other man’s tone, Dan Heng did his best to try and clear the air, “Sorry, it’s… just a lot to take in at once. I didn’t expect that was what you wanted to talk about.”

Trying to shake off the unease, the head security officer shrugged, “I could only really imagine.” He sighed, “My main concern is whether or not he’s acting weird on the express. I tried to write it off as him being excited to make a new friend early-on, since I knew he only really had Lady Asta when he arrived on the Space Station. When he started making a lot more friends and he was still acting weird about you, I didn’t really have an excuse for him anymore.”

Dan Heng nodded, “I don’t really think you have to worry anymore.”

Arlan tried to ignore his stomach dropping through the floor. “...Oh.”

Dan Heng nodded, “I mean to say, he can’t hold me on a pedestal anymore because we are both nameless. He doesn’t have anything to look up to when we are both on equal footing.”

Your former best friend tried to agree, he really wanted to. He wanted to believe that Dan Heng was just innocently naive about the nature of your words and actions, but the archivist wasn’t stupid. He should’ve obviously known something was wrong. “...I guess I can see where you’re coming from. But can I just ask one thing of you?”

Arlan was right to be suspicious, because Dan Heng was only really telling a half-truth. As selfish as it sounded, the nameless was more than happy for this sudden change in circumstance.

The archivist hummed, "Of course."

"Be careful." Arlan paused before continuing, "I know you might think you'd be able to handle it if he gets out of control, but he's a lot stronger than he looks. He's been working out too and I'm scared he might... end up becoming dangerous."

Instead of further pushing the conversation, the express passenger acknowledged his worry. "I can see where you're coming from. But, I feel that he's starting to mellow out. He's not just spending time hanging around me or anyone on the express in particular. I promise that you don't need to keep worrying about him."

Even as he tried to convince Arlan that his intentions for encouraging him to trust in the express were pure, he knew that he was only making excuses. If the head security officer chose to peel back just a couple more of the layers to his act, he would find the man's true thoughts.

‘You don’t need to worry about him, because feeling like that is normal, isn’t it? I feel the same way.’

"Oh, the group already headed out for the Festival. Did you plan on telling them something before they left?"

You stood near Himeko’s coffee maker, cradling one of the many mugs you’d brought with you to the express. Judging by the steam wafting off the top of the coffee, you’d just freshly brewed yourself a drink and were getting ready to retreat back into your hastily thrown together room to continue working on some kind of research project.

Dan Heng, on the other hand, hadn’t been doing anything in particular before the conversation. Fresh out of his room, he'd opted to leave his heavy coat hung up. “No, not in particular.”

You tilted your head, eyes still focusing on your hot beverage, “Alright, is there any particular reason why you asked if they were gone yet?”

“Well, the two of us are alone on the entire express. The residential compartment is completely cleared out…”. He trailed off his sentence, crossing his arms across his chest.

You raised your brow curiously, setting your drink down on the counter to go about swapping the coffee filter. “Yeah…? I guess we are.”

Dan Heng chewed on the inside of his cheek, “Well, if we were going to do anything that might necessitate being alone, now would be the best time since everyone else is at the Charmony Festival.”

Your cheeks flushed pink, “I guess, but I can't really think of anything that the two of us would do, that is unless you’re going into another heat?” You murmured to nobody in particular, “Most reptilian species only have a mating period during a certain season though.”

“Do you…” he paused, considering his words carefully, “Do you think that would be the only time I'd be interested in doing something like that?”

You could feel a tingly warmth creep up your neck, “W-Well,” you dropped the used filter in the trash can. “That was the last time we did anything like that and I just thought, y’know…”

Dan Heng’s lips pulled into a tight line, “If I wasn't going into heat? If I just wanted to sleep together?”

You faced away from him, rummaging through the cabinets for the coffee grounds. “I-” You fumbled with the satchel, grasping a new filter with your other hand,

“I wouldn't say no…?”

"Ahn~ Right there, right there, right thererightthere-"

His fingers dug into the spots of your headboard right next to your skull, chest pushed forward and hips angled backward to form a beautifully lewd arch.

You gave another pointed jolt of your hips, positively radiant when Dan Heng exploded into shudders of ecstasy. Thighs shaking, he did his best to try and encourage them to lift a little. When he reached as high as he knew he could get, he dropped his hips back down onto yours rather unceremoniously with a pornographic mewl.

Despite the drool leaking down his chin, you leaned in to give him a peck on the lips. The moment your mouth was on his, it seemed almost like a silent invitation. Even with the lack of any real stimulation, he hands transferred from the cracked and scarred wood to your shoulders. He groaned into your mouth tracing his left hand’s pointer finger over your exposed collarbone.

Even with the building fatigue burning through his lower half, he did his best to pick himself up again. Your hands slithered from squeezing his love handles to gripping the curve of his ass. Supporting his hips, your arm strength added to the diminishing strength in his legs, dragging his insides up your length before slamming him back down to meet your pelvis forcefully.

“Oh~” he let out an airy moan, expertly swiping his finger along the dip in your skin from your collarbone up to the side of the neck. Instead of focusing on further chasing his release again, he leaned down to plant a sloppy, wet kiss on the side of your neck just underneath where the pads of his fingers rested on your pulse point.

You squirmed from the foreign sensation of the drool trailing down the sensitive skin, unexpectedly squeezing his ass in response. He smiled against your neck, shameless while he trailed a forked tongue over the artery hidden beneath your skin.

You weren't used to the sudden spark of confidence, shying away from his excessive touch with a quiet, nervous embarrassment. Your hands trailed back towards his waistline, pulling him up by the tempting dip in his figure, only to slam him back down again. When you were rewarded with a breathless, blissed call of your name, you didn't hesitate to do it again.

Before long, it seemed the two of you didn't have any thoughts running through your head but the desires of the flesh.

Firmly planting your feet on the mattress, the two of you seemed to get lost in the sudden plowing of your cock even deeper into his ass. The combined force of his weight, gravity, and your own aggressive rhythm contributing to the growing bulge of your tip just below the center of his abs, you felt lost to the sensations. Even in your sex-drunk haze, you didn't fail to realize the heightened nature of his vocals, it seemed his voice box was all but tearing itself apart with each of the punched out shrieks he pushed out right into your ear.

Even stranger, instead of moving his hips in tandem with yours, he seemed extremely fixated on the specific, certain spot of your neck he’d laid claim to just a few short moments earlier. With each drawn out groan forced out of his mouth, he lavished his affections on the same spot. Kissing the same point over and over in a silent worship.

The tips of your ears burning a stark red vermillion, you let a shaky roll of your hips smack into his insides especially sharp, “Shihittt~” In your attempt to combat the sensation, your face burned a deeper crimson when he moaned directly into your ear.

Even after a particularly harsh thrust, it seemed he was still dead set on focusing on that one specific point on your neck. With all the kisses suctioned to that specific square of flesh, the skin bruised a shy pink hue, and it only seemed to further encourage him.

In response, you gripped one of the horns on the crown of his head to finally get him to put his lips elsewhere. Peppering shy, messy, saliva-soaked kisses to an eager and hungry mouth you could feel your pace speed up as you crept up higher and higher towards your peak. His face contorted in the shape of each electric current of ecstasy wrapping itself like a cord up his spinal column. Even if he wanted to let out more pathetic whimpers and sobs, he couldn't find the strength to pull away from equally addictive kisses.

Shyly, you pried open his lips with your tongue. He reciprocated with a tantalizing whine, further welcoming you into his mouth. Without any delay, you dragged your tongue over the roof of his mouth, swirling your spit with his right on top of his Jacobson organ.

He shook in blissed out euphoria, brain flashing a blinding white before he pulled away from the kiss specifically to shriek your name. Pushing his chest up against yours, his arms bent awkwardly from where they were positioned on your upper body. Again he dipped his head into the crook of your neck, nipping at the same patch of wet, pinkening skin with the tips of his fangs.

You grunted, only further confused as he moved from just barely scraping fangs over your jugular to starting to suck a hickey into the raw redness.

In the haze of sex, the overloading of the nerves in just one spot only seemed to further stack on top of eachother in a salacious torture. It felt so good, it was starting to burn. Instead of trying to coax him off the spot, the flexing and twitching of his own neck muscles only seemed to become more and more inviting.

Ultimately, you tried licking a stripe up the same artery in Dan Heng's neck, rewarded with a delicious squeak. His teeth caught on your skin, only further amplifying the dizzying haze and spin that seemed to capture the rest of the world.

A few short seconds later, he pulled his mouth off your neck just a few sparingly merciful breaths away, “Clohhsseeee, cuhlossseee-” He seized up in another mewl, lower back arching to push himself even closer to your pelvis. “Plehease~ Can I, can I, can I-” With another press of the tip of your dick straight into his prostate, he threw his head back with a scream. Still, determined for some kind of permission, he opened his mouth to keep babbling impossibly loud, “can I, can I, canicanican-”

Eyes shut as you sped up to chase your own orgasm, you finally nodded your head in the crook of his neck. “Yes, yes, yes-”

He keened at the go ahead, once again rushing to bury his nose against the abused, purpled, and irritated skin on the side of your neck. Instead of continuing to suck more and more hickies into the canvas laid before him, he opened his mouth wide before injecting his extremely long, needle-like fangs deep into the side of your neck, just barely missing one of the most crucial arteries in your body. The taste of your blood hitting his tongue caused another loud squeal to spill from his lips before he got impossibly tighter and creamed all over both of your stomachs.

You seized up, hips stuttering from the sudden all-consuming pain stemming from your injury before unloading into his awaiting body. In your shock, you couldn't even think about how to ask him what just happened. Even then, you weren't sure you wanted to know.

As the two of you laid there, sweaty and spent, he continued to nurse the wound with the gentle ticklish touch of his forked tongue. Two large, heavily bleeding openings in your neck, he nuzzled up against like they were all he had left.

What your knowledge failed to encompass, Dan Heng’s instincts didn't fail to fawn over. Something the two of you hadn't covered in your research were the mating rituals of the Vidyadhara. Three things were of specific relevance.

One, Vidyadharas mate for life, and the span of multiple lives should time and memory allow it.

Two, mating must be done with permission.

Three, mating is officiated with a mark in a visible area, popularly the neck.

He ran his fingers over the dripping red pouring from the side of your neck. A happy trill resounded from the back of his throat as he lapped it up with his tongue again, drinking in the groan of discomfort and the explosive shivers that wracked your body.

...

...Perhaps it would also be important to mention, mating marks were permanent.

There's a note on the side of the phone booth, read it?

" every time I say I'm going to update the same day, I end up either procrastinating or rewriting the same scene 7 times because I can't figure out what I want to happen specifically "

THIS IS A REPOSTED WORK FROM MY ORIGINAL ACCOUNT BEFORE IT CRAPPED AND DIED ON ME

I USED TO BE FOUND AT @steadybear

I FEAR YOU WILL HAVE TO DEAL WITH SEEING @bigtedbear INSTEAD FROM NOW ON

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maybefalsefacts · 20 days ago

Text

First Kiss

Logan doesn't like parties. It's too many people he doesn't know in too small of a space.

That said, he can't say no to Wade. And Wade wanted to invite his family over for New Years.

In hindsight, it's probably good there are other people in the apartment to distract him from the revelry outside. Distant cheers often sound like screams.

So, here he is, squished between Laura and Wade on the couch. Two party hats have been put on his head, one on either cowlick to give him more prominent 'kitty ears'. (The things he does for Wade 🙄)

He's been cutting back on the alcohol a lot recently. Both because he doesn't have a lot of money, and because he doesn't really feel the need to be black-out drunk 24/7 to deal with the curse of existence.

In other words, this is only his 5th glass of (awful tasting) champagne. Still, he drinks it like soda as the night progresses, focusing on Wade to distract him from the call of the good whiskey on top of the fridge.

And before Logan even realizes it, it's 23:59. Everyone has gathered around the TV and are counting down. Logan can hear people out on the street echoing them.

Wade turns to him and starts batting his eyelashes. "Will you be my New Year's kiss?"

It's a joke. Logan knows that. So, rolling his eyes, he answers with just as much seriousness, "Sure, Bub."

Wade gives an exaggerated gasp and puts a hand to his heart. "Really, Wolvie? You mean it!?"

Wade puckers his lips right on time.

And Logan leans in.

He's not really sure why. He doesn't really expect to make it all the way. Its just a joke.

Right?

But then their lips do touch.

And Wade gives the tiniest of gasps.

Their eyes lock, a million questions passing between them. Logan watches as Wade's eyes dilate. Hears Wade's heartbeat quicken. Smells the excitement and anticipation rolling off of him.

And, as if by some sort of signal, both of them close their eyes. Both of them lean in.

And when their lips touch again, there are fireworks.

Logan brings his free hand up to cup Wade's cheek, cradling him gently. And Wade's hand closes on Logan's wrist, keeping him from pulling away.

And Logan can't hear anything over the blood rushing in his ears.

Can't smell anything other than Wade's perfume and body wash.

Can't taste anything other than Wade and the champagne they've been drinking.

Can't feel anything other than Wade. Wade's shoulder leaning on his. Wade's leg pressed to his. Wade's lips on his. Wade's tongue dancing with his.

Logan is so completely consumed by Wade.

And, honestly, he can't think of a better place to be.

Fin.

#poolverine #logan howlett #deadpool and wolverine #deadclaws #wade wilson #deadpool #wolverine #wade x logan #worst wolverine #maybe false facts

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technoarcanist · 4 months ago

Text

WAR NEVER CHANGES. BUT,

WARFARE NEVER STOPS CHANGING

"I've seen countless reasons why most mech pilots don't make the cut, but one of the largest hurdles are the physical alterations. The implants and modifications done to the fleshware is so extreme that it's enough to push most would-be pilots away from day 1.

Back in the day, when mech tech was still in its wild west years, when the technology was still in its infancy, things were different. Levers, joysticks, switches, a chair, most of the first models were something between the cockpit of a construction vehicle and a fighter ship.

Pilots in those days still consisted largely of the usual suspects. Test pilots, army jocks, space force veterans looking for something new, the occasional crazy who lucked their way up the ranks. All you needed back then was to be fit enough to work complex machinery. 'Handler's wouldn't be a coined phrase for nearly a decade. I still remember being a kid and seeing repurposed older models in the mech fighting streams.

Everything changed with the Bidirectional Cerebellum Computer Interface. To say nothing of how it changed civilian life, it was a military marvel. The BiCCI saw the creation of Mechs as we understand them today. The first generation were just retrofits, older models with a pilot's chair, and even manual controls to use in an emergency, but even then we knew that was only temporary. Before long, sleek frames of sharp angles, railguns and plasma cannons were rolling off the factory floor.

Like many things, it began small, optimising first for cockpit space by removing the manual controls. Before long, my then-supervisors thought, "Why have this glass? Why not hook the pilot's eyesight right into the advanced multi-spectral camera system? Before long, cockpits were but soft harnesses made to house a living body, their very soul wired into the machinery. Obviously, for security reasons, I cannot tell you everything about how our latest cockpits work, but suffice to say we've been further blurring the line between pilot and frame ever since.

This drew a very different crowd. Out were the army jocks and powerlifters. The only ones who even dared to have the interface hardware installed into their brainstem and spinal cord were the dispossessed, the misanthropes, those who sought not to control their new body, but to be controlled by it. No AI can work a mech properly on its own, but our pilots are never really in full control either anymore. Those who do try to go against the symbiosis get a nosebleed at best, and vegetative seizures at worst.

And that was that. The only people left who pilots these things are those who had already been broken, those who sougt a permenant reprive from being anything resembling human. A lot of my department quit around this time. I've lost a few friends over it, I'm not shy to say. Did we knew we'd be bringing in the more vulnerable people? Of course we did. But, the wheels of progress must turn, as they say, and it wasn't like we were shy of volunteers.

In our latest models, we have refined an even more advanced frame. Again, security detail prevents me from divulging too much, but one breakthrough we've made is decreasing action latency by approximately 0.02s by amputating the limbs from our pilots and replacing them with neural interface pads.

Using the pads where the limbs once were, pilots are screwed directly into the cockpit, which itself can now be 30% smaller thanks to the saved space. And, of course, we provide basic humanoid cybernetics as part of their employment contract while they are with us. Not that most of them are ever voluntarily out of their cockpits long enough to make use of them. Even removing the tubes from their orifices for routine cleaning incurs a large level of resistence.

And, yes, some of them scream, some of them break, some become so catatonic that they might as well be a peripheral processor for their mech's AI. But not a single one, not even one pilot, in all the dolls i've ever trained, have ever accepted the holidays we offer, the retirement packages, the stipends.

As you say, there are those who like to call me a monster for my work. I can see why. After all, they don't see the way my pilots' crotches dribble when I tell them I'll be cutting away their limbs, or the little moans they try to hide when we first meet and I explain that they'd forever be on the same resource level as a machine hereafter.

Those who call me a monster don't realise that, even after going public with how we operate our pilots, even after ramping up mech frame production, we still have more than twice as many volunteers as frames.

Those who call me a monster cannot accept that my pilots are far happier as a piece of meat in a machine of death than as the shell of a human they once were.

Those who call me a monster never consider the world my pilots grew up in to make them suitable candidates in the first place."

-Dr Francine Heathwich EngD

Dept. Cybernetic Technologies @ Dynaframe Industries

[In response to human rights violations accusations levied by the Pilot Rehabilitation Foundation]

#mechagirlposting #mechposting #mecha #empty spaces #techno arcanist stories #mechanophilia #horror #short story #creative writing #writing #writing on tumblr #mech pilot #dollposting

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yesimwriting · 10 months ago

Note

ELLE IM HERE FOR JEALOUS FELIX IDEA WE WERE DISCUSSINF …

olive i made felix extra unhinged here just for you <3

----

“So…” The word is as small as it is hollow. You squeeze your hands together, attention settling on the way your skin strains against the tendons. So implies that the person speaking has somewhere to go, something to say.

Felix stalls, halfway between his dorm’s entryway and his bed. A beat passes before he finally turns around. “So.” His feels a lot more definite.

The nail of your left thumb presses into the cuticle of your right. “I uh–” The world is too hazy for this. If you had known the night wouldn’t end in its usual way, with you and Felix giggly and content in that drowsy way, you would have turned down that last shot. “If you’re upset, we can talk about it.”

He continues forward, steps casual as he reaches the bed. Felix sits down with a soft sigh, the sound tired but not exactly irritated. “Upset?” He repeats gently, body shifting back to rest against a pillow. “Why would I be upset?”

The genuineness of the question throws you. Felix didn’t seem to need someone to explain why he would be upset when he practically pulled you out of the bar. Felix didn’t seem confused when he barely gave you a second to say goodbye to a girl you met through your roommate. He didn’t stop to think about why he might be upset when he left without saying anything to any of his friends.

All of this felt so worth mentioning when you were walking next to Felix on an empty sidewalk, eyes focused on making out cracks in the pavement to keep yourself from staring at him. “Because we got separated at the party, and–”

You blink. You’re sorry–you know you’re sorry that Felix’s feelings were bruised, and you know that you could have been a little more intentional in the way you treated him after you started drinking. Felix always takes you into consideration, it doesn’t matter who he’s with or what state he’s in. You know there are things you feel bad about, and you remember the moment that you realized that Felix wasn’t by your side, but the details, the bulk of the night, are all blurred beyond distinction.

Early on into the night, you recognized Dina, a girl from your roommate’s friend group. Then, she introduced you to Nick. He bought you and Dina drinks, and then dancing…the three of you, and then eventually just you and Nick. After that, all you have is brief snapshots, each murkier than the last. Asking for a glass of water at the bar, Nick progressively moving closer, a girl complimenting your outfit, more drinks, Nick and the warmth of his breath against your ear.

You take a step forward. “And I wasn’t the nicest.” You force your arms to relax. Felix veering towards unexplainable tranquility is strange, but it isn’t worse than his anger. At the very least, it’s disorientating enough to feel better than straight forward anger. “We went out together and I didn’t–you’re always so good to me.” You frown, guilt prodding at your chest. “You–you check in on me, and you get me water, and you sit with me…” The words cram in on themselves, wedging themselves in your throat. Great, you’re trying to apologize and now you’re going to start crying, “Even when everyone wants to sit with you.”

“Lovie,” he whispers the nickname so calmly it briefly throws you. For a beat, you’re too confused to be upset. Felix takes advantage of the lapse, lifting a hand to pat the available space next to him.

You take a tentative step forward, and then another, again and again until you’re within reach of his bed. Before you can try to sit, Felix extends an arm, hand moving to rest against your hip. The sudden contact makes you still. His thumb shifts, brushing against the sliver of exposed skin between your skirt and top.

Your general uncertainty is catching up with your whiplash from all the directions you’ve been pulled in tonight. He’s touching you so carefully. How can this be the same guy that grabbed your shoulder and barely thought to mutter a tense we’re going before walking away.

Without thinking, you lift your hand, pressing your palm against the back of his so that his hand has to lie flat against you. “I’m sorry.”

Felix tilts his head back slightly, eyes finding yours. You’re not sure what he’s looking for, but he’s far from shy about it, taking in every detail of your expression openly. “I know.” It’s not exactly the proclamation of understanding and forgiveness you wanted, but it’s not a bad start. You take a partial step to the side, ready to sit down. Felix squeezes your hip, forcing you to still. “Sit with me?”

The phrasing is familiar enough for you to understand exactly what he’s asking. You nod once. Taking that as all the conformation he needs, Felix pulls back to give you the space needed to sit on his lap.

As soon as you’re settled, Felix’s hand finds your knee. There’s an affection in the way that his nails drag against your skin that has you easing. You’re still not completely sure on where you stand. Felix’s mood shifted so quickly, and you’ve yet to talk about what happened tonight, but this, his care and affection, is something you can trust.

“I didn’t…” His voice is quiet, soft. That doesn’t mean they don’t feel startling. You lean into him, turning your head to watch him openly. “I didn’t like feeling away from you.”

“I know,” the admission is quick, as if accepting the guilt fast enough will warp time and space and erase his hurt from existence. You place a hand on his shoulder. “I don’t know what happened–I–I was really drunk and then I looked over and you–you weren’t there, and I couldn’t remember how long it had been since you were.” The explanation is awkward and wordy, but it’s the only way you can think to articulate anything, a testament to the alcohol still in your system. “You know I’d never do anything to hurt your feelings on purpose, right?”

Felix pulls your hand off his shoulder. You frown until you feel his fingers find their place between yours. “Yeah,” he says, “I do know that.”

That’s something. You squeeze his hand, glad for the assurance of the contact. Your thumb brushes against his knuckles. Felix’s hand is now firmly settled against the space right above your knee. You’re on his lap. You’re not far from him. All of it should feel okay, should feel like enough.

Slowly, you lift your other hand, setting your forearm against his shoulder as your fingers find his scalp. The softness of Felix’s hair is always a pleasant surprise. There’s a silkiness to the strands that feels enhanced. It feels like it should be a result of expensive product, but Felix is so naturally lovely you wouldn’t be surprised if it was genetic.

He angles his head a fraction of an inch upwards to make it easier to look at you. He’s watching you with slightly parted lips. The little distance that’s left becomes a weight you’re incapable of supporting with no warning. You lean forward without thinking, lips meeting his.

Felix reacts immediately, hand inching up your thigh. His teeth graze against your bottom lip with more pressure than you’re used to. With no warning, he shifts, lips brushing against the corner of your mouth. Felix continues at a pace that’s dizzying, a series of fluttery kisses against your cheek, your jaw, the start of your neck.

“Lex…” The shakiness of your voice makes the heat crawling up your chest burn a little warmer.

He briefly stills, forehead resting against your neck. “Lovie?” The only response you can manage is a distracted hum. Felix releases your hand in order to rest his palm near your shoulder. His thumb smooths circles against the base of your neck. “Have you ever had a hickey?”

The question is so absentminded and breathless you’re almost not sure if you’re meant to respond. Not that you’d know how to answer the question regardless. It’s not like you never went out before meeting Felix. You’ve had experiences, have kissed other guys, but you’re usually the type to push them off before drunken affection goes too far.

Even though you’re alone with Felix, and you’re completely aware that he’d never actually judge you for the discrepancies between your levels of experience, it’s not an easy thing to admit. Especially when you think of all the times you’ve seen the start of maroon tinted marks peeking out from beneath the collar of his shirts.

“Can give you one, if you want.” The offer is whispered so innocently, for a moment you think you must have misheard him. He presses another kiss against your skin. “So y’can see what it’s like.”

When you don’t react fast enough, Felix places a chaste kiss against your collarbone. You force yourself to hold onto reality. “Lex,” you try again, voice doing its best to remain even. There should be a definite answer. You’re not sure what’s gotten into him tonight, and you know what the objectively correct answer is. This might be extremely casual to Felix, but you’re not as used to this kind of thing, and you’d never forgive yourself if you let something ruin your friendship. You’re trying to form the words, but you can’t get the rejection out.

“If you want,” Felix starts again, leaving another kiss against your skin, “You can give me one after.” Another kiss. “That seems fair, yeah?”

The offer catches your attention more than it should. You’ve seen marks littered all over his skin…and you’ve thought about them more than you would ever admit. Some concentrated, small, dark patches left there by teeth. Others more like a blend of ink blots, crawling up his skin, the edges a red that could just as easily be lipstick. Other people leaving evidence of their existence, of their closeness to Felix–your Felix.

Would it be such a bad thing to be that person just this once?

You nod. “Yeah.” You’re still nodding when you feel his teeth graze against his skin. Your eyes shut on instinct. “Okay. That sounds–” You’re forced to cut yourself off with a sigh. “That sounds fair.”

Felix grins against your skin. He’s more about it now, open mouthed kisses growing more urgent by the second. With each scrape of teeth against the sensitive spot at the base of your neck, there’s a soothing drag of his tongue against the irritated skin. The more time he spends on you, the harder it is to focus on anything that isn’t Felix.

With a final trail of kisses down to your collarbone, Felix straightens. The loss of contact makes you pout. The reaction makes Felix grin as his fingers move to unbutton the top of his shirt. He leans forward, pressing a quick kiss against your lips.

He releases his shirt, leaning back to give you more access. You lean forward before you can think, mouth brushing against the edge of his jaw. Felix’s hand finds the back of your head, holding you to him. You work your way down to the start of his neck, embracing everything that is him. His warmth; the smell of cologne, cigarettes, sweat, and something else that’s distinctly Felix; and the taste of skin.

Your teeth press into his neck testingly. Felix sighs, the sound heavy and needy. His hold on you tightens, encouraging you to use your teeth more steadily. You give in, taking care to smooth your tongue against his skin after. You start the process over, repeating your ministrations over again and again until it’s hard to breathe right.

You take your time pulling away, lips dragging against his skin before you finally rest your forehead against his shoulder. Felix’s hand drifts away from the back of your head, settling on your shoulder warmly. “That’s my girl.” The praise makes you grin. “You did so good, I’m almost jealous.”

His good humor seems to constrict around that last part. You don’t fully get it, but you’re too content to question it. You lift your head enough to look him in the eye. “You know I only have eyes for you, darling.”

It’s an attempt at returning the joke, but the way his eyebrows pinch together make it feel like something else. That lingering angst seems to pass him by, because he leans forward, his lips brushing against your forehead. “Me, too, sweetheart.”

You smile, letting your temple fall against his arm, completely content.

----

taglist; @vader-is-hot @spiritofbuddha @getosangie @freyafriggafrey @ilovehyperfixating @aryiannarae @willowpains @ker0senebunny @lilyrachelcassidy @khxna @imbabycowboy

#saltburn x reader #felix catton x reader #felix catton #jacob elordi #jacob elordi x reader #bestfriend!felix x reader #bestfriend!felix

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