#... actually fuck it danny is found by harley

[phantomskeep]

Editing to add (again): This is using the bastardized wendigo from popculture. It's not using the wendigo in the context of the spirit, more in the context of the Hannibal "Ravenstag" or even Antlers' wendigo. Check the Anon link near the end of the post for more information regarding my thoughts on the subject :) I didn't mention the deer-like qualities until the tags, which I understand some people don't fully read. That's my bad, so here I am with the full context ahead of time. This is not the Algonquian version of the wendigo spirit. i really want to write a DCxDP fic where Danny gets trapped in a different form (like either true form or just gets cursed, something like that) and can't get out of it. That form? A wendigo. Somehow he ends up in the DC universe - either through already living there or Ghost Zone shenanigans.

Being a wendigo, Danny feels the need to eat flesh. Preferably human, but even in his screwed-up state he knows that's wrong of him to do. So he takes to killing the bare minimum amount of wildlife he can to sustain himself. Eventually he realizes that "oh wait, what if I just raided a store?" So he stumbles out of the woods and into the nearest grocery store after they had closed. He ends up eating enough to settle his stomach before going off to hide to wait for this whatever to wear off.

However, this catches the attention of [insert local hero]. [Insert local hero] goes to the Justice League about this - maybe this creature is a new villain's scheme? Or just a new villain? Members of the JL + Justice League Dark then go out to [insert town Danny was spotted in] to do some investigating. Batman being one of these people, plus Robin because Damian would not let Bruce go without him. A wendigo could be like a shark after all, just a big ol' puppy.

They get to [insert town here] and start cracking down. They compare the old footage to the location, tracking where the wendigo went. Finally Batman, Robin and [insert characters here] are able to get to the wendigo's den... only to find out the wendigo is a lot more ghost-like than they thought it would be.

There's a big fight because Wendigo-Brain!Danny thought these random dudes were the GIW coming for his undead ass that ends with Danny taking off. Unknowingly to Danny, Damian has grabbed onto him and is basically riding his soon-to-be pet into the sunset.

... I just want to 1) see Danny suffer and being confused 2) Damian trying to get a new dangerous pet and 3) get Damian trying to tame a feral Wendigo!Danny like any normal person would try to befriend that feral orange cat living in the dumpster.

Adding this just to cover my own butt about this haha, here's a link that contains a post which covers the research I have done on the topic of the wendigo: Anon Ask Post Here. I am not trying to culturally appropriate, offend, or harm anyone with a prompt post about Danny taking the form of a wendigo. It's a cool concept to me as I believe it is a bit ironic. The wendigo, as seen in the culture it originates from, is a symbol of greed and a harsh winter and are often a sign of cannibalism. They have hearts of ice and an "unseasonable chill might precede its approach".

I think this is ironic because 1 - Danny is a sweet little bean and being stuck with cannibalistic cravings is a Hannibal Fic trope that will forever rot in my brain + Ghost King!Danny having to eat Pariah Dark's core is a headcanon I adore, 2 - the chill preceding a wendigo's approach reminds me of Danny's ghost sense, 3 - Danny is the LEAST greedy person I can think of in the entirety of DP (even if he does have his selfish moments at the worst times ever), and 4 - wendigos possess human beings. In Native legend a wendigo is a "malevolent spirit" which possesses humans - technically if you are going to stick with the general wendigo legends then it does not have antlers, horns, or is even a beast. It's just a giant human. Which, if using the correct/original version of a wendigo, makes this 10x funnier to me, because Damian that is clearly a giant person what the fUCK ARE YOU DOING--

Anyways, long story short if you have issues with me using a wendigo for a "haha funny" prompt please DM me with any sort of articles, legends, documentaries, ect. on why using a wendigo is a Bad Thing. Like I said in the linked post, I'm always willing to learn and adjust my behavior. I just want proof that the changes I'm going to make are the correct ones to be making, as my years on the internet have ALWAYS told me to fact check anything :)

[britcision]

Listen. Could Dead and Loving It be a fraction of the length and maybe finished by now if I only focused on Danny and Jason?

Possibly

Would it be a better story?

Probably, from several perspectives

But it absolutely would not be the same story, and nor would it be the story I want to tell

Because I am hopelessly addicted to ensemble casts, and I don’t want the boys to exist in a vacuum. I want Jason to run off with his siblings and with Danny’s friends, and I want Danny to fuck with the bats

I want them to touch all the parts of each others lives that existed before they met, and will still continue to exist after even if things change forever between them

I want all the background characters to interact with each other, have their own inner worlds and their own motivations, and yeah, this absolutely means this is not an efficient telling of a slow burn romance

Because the story isn’t the slow burn romance

The story is these two people, and the world they live in, the story is the way Duke and Cass both see Jason differently than Dick and Tim ever could and that matters, and that none of them are wrong

The story is Danny finally telling people who will listen about the Anti-Ecto Acts, and all the fucked up things the GIW do, and being able to ask for help and have that be okay

The story is messy and complicated and will have so many rises and falls, so many pivotal moments that are drama and combat and so many that are just two people talking to each other and finally seeing eye to eye

The story is the way that Jason’s relationships with his family can finally mend, now that he has someone who can get him the help he’s needed

The story is the way that Danny can come to terms with the responsibilities of being a king, the constant question of agency and power and what he’s worth if he’s only Danny and not the Ghost King

The story is Clockwork fucking with the pair of them because he specifically thinks it’s funny (he’s right)

And yeah, there’s a slow burn romance in there. There’s also a coming of age tale, and a story about healing and reconciling and moving forward knowing you cannot change the past, but you can do better

Unless fucking Clockwork decides you can change the past because yeah then it’s fine to just go do that I guess

I was kinda considering breaking the story out into multiple chunks because holy fuck is 100k an intimidating chunk of words, but I’m not gonna

It’s all one story, and you will be my hapless victims as we get to fucking 300k or wherever this beast ends because we are not here for efficient story telling and motion of the plot

We’re here for the connections, the characters, the meaningless bullshit that would absolutely be cut in anything anyone ever wanted to sell, cuz I am not selling this

Imma write every fucking scene I wish I got from books, TV, movies, podcasts, actual plays, every fucking time I scream at the characters to just fucking talk to each other because messy is good too

Messy is okay

Stories don’t need to be marketable to be worth telling, and this one’s gonna be too long and intimidating for some people and that’s okay

But I fuckin’ rolled in from Critical Role which averages around 500 hours of content per campaign and a cast of 7 plus Matt’s NPCs

And I STILL want more goddamn character moments from all of them so I haven’t found a size yet that I can’t manage

I love reading focused stories that I can get through fast, and fuck, look at the rest of my AO3; I will fucking never diss a one shot, or a short story, or a piece that really focuses in on one or two characters

Delicious, I love them, my bread and butter

It’s just not what this mess is gonna be, and that’s okay too

Gods be fucking willing we will not have another six chapters that take place over the course of three hours, but we’ll just have to see how that shakes out cuz I’m being possessed by a seemingly infinite number of plot bunnies and my own tendency for “hey it’d be funny if”

And oh boy has it been funny every time

[seronefada]

Harley found some kids.

Ivy looked up from her book and asked:"Harley, babe I love you. But, who's fucking kids are these, where did you get them?"

Harley: "I found them outside, I thought we could keep them. "

Said kids where actually Teenager's. The older sister with long red hair looked at her, while her younger brother was busy eating all the fruits from the bowl on the table, like some sort of starving bunny.

The older of the two said:" We're sorry miss. My little brother and I where just looking for a place to spent the night. And Dr. Harley offered us a room."

Ivy looked at the two, they looked hunted, chased, sleepless and burned out. The younger was definitely hurt.

Ivy:"curse my soft heart. You can stay. What are your names."

"I'm Jazz and this is my baby brother Danny."

Ivy asked:"what are you doing in Gotham, where are your parents?"

Jazz:" they are busy, we came here on our own."

Harley was at the oven making the kids some hot chocolate and said :" So runaways, why did you run."

Danny looked up and was lying really bad:" We, didn't want, to go to school anymore. So we run away, to open a, food truck."

Ivy:"kid next time just say you're gay. People will believe that way easier."

Jazz:"our parents are kinda mad, there scientists. But it got worse with the years. So I had to get Danny out of there."

Danny offered her an Apple, but he didn't say anything.

Harley came and gave the the hot chocolate:"after hot choco, a shower and some sleep. The world will look better already."

Both took the chocolate, but Ivy saw that Danny was just blowing one time in it and it was cold. Of course Harley had to find them a meta teen on the run.

After the two teens where gone to sleep Ivy looked at her girlfriend:"Harley what are your plans for the kids, should I contact Batman to get them?"

Harley was playing with her blond hair as she smiled charming at her loved:" I thought we could keep them."

Ivy looked at her:"you can't be serious. Danny is an ice meta. He could freeze my plants."

"yeah but what if we don't help them? Batman could make them to Robin's. And Jazz hair is red we just tell people they are your biological kids." explained Harley.

Ivy stared at her:" even if I would say yes, we don't know what would come at us.

The Question was answered halfway, as they where checking on the kids and Danny woke up alarmed with the words:" I'm not a Ghost."

Then he get back to sleep and flew around in the room.

Harley smiled :"Come on Pam you where also thinking about having kids."

Ivy just said:" fine, let's try this they can stay as long as they want. But I'm still not sure about this cover story. Why do they have to be my kids?"

[bluerosefox]

Joker Messed Around and Found Freaking Out.

Okay hear me out..

Class trip to Gotham, class gets held up by Joker who actually can scare the class cause they are still teens and they know Joker has a high kill rate, like yes they're used to ghosts and junk but none of them wanna die yet or at least die outside of Amity, if they die they wanna have a chance of coming back as a ghost at the very least.

Anyways, Danny feels pure dread when Joker takes Jazz hostage, who was elected to be a chaperone for Danny's class since her volunteering would look good on college recommendations, and finds her little mutters about his mental health reminding him of Harley before she left him. He even jokes about needing a new partner and wonders how long it'll take to break her like he did to Harley.

Danny is frozen in his spot but something snaps when he hears Jazz cry out after Joker backhands her. Before anyone, even the Bats, realize it Danny is on top of the Joker beating his face in, he only gets up once, takes Joker's discarded crowbar and slams it over his head, barely grazing the dazed man but it does destroy the flooring behind him, while screaming to never ever touch his sister. That he will destroy Joker if he even thinks about coming after her. That even in the afterlife he'll never be safe from him.

All this happens so fast that by the time the Jocks from Danny's school, Red Hood and Nightwing get Danny off, Joker is beaten badly. He's still feral screaming at Joker though, calling him everything under the sun, spouting off about how the dead are ready to rip him apart when Joker (or you can have Danny call him by his actual name if you wanna strike some "the fuck? How'd he know that?") Finally passes away, that even death will not save him from Danny's wrath. Danny is squirming hard in their holds, nearly breaks free a few times when he hears Joker groaning, but only stops when Jazz, after getting looked over by Red Robin comes running over and just..

Hugs Danny.

And like a kitten getting scuffed by the neck he goes limp. Just breathes heavily, eyes burning from anger, fear, tears, and relief, before he returns the hug. He starts crying and mutters low that he can't lose her, that he almost lost her again and "is this even a fraction how Dan felt when he lost you?"

And Jazz just shushes him and does what she can to comfort him...

[greenglowinspooks]

Alrighty fellas time for another one

(DPxDC) Batman Rogues ranked based on how good at parenting Danny (and co.) they would be

—

Would probably actually be able to step up and be (relatively) good parents: The Penguin, Mr. Freeze.

They would have EXTREMELY different dynamics with Danny, but I think they could figure it out.

The Penguin would definitely only take in Danny to improve his reputation, and probably so that he could monopolize the use of a new meta’s abilities. (And perhaps to study him)

However, I think that attitude would last for at the absolute most a month, probably closer to two weeks, before he genuinely bonded with him. He’s like the dad who says he doesn’t want a pet, and then in a week they’re inseparable.

He’s not a good person, but I think he could probably end up being an awesome fucking dad. Also, there’s no way in hell anyone would mess with Danny. Not even close. If he found out Danny was getting bullied he’d ruin the bully’s fucking life.

He wouldn’t directly throw hands with a child, sure, but that’s only because it would look bad. He would, however, completely destroy their family’s careers and force them to leave Gotham out of shame.

Mr. Freeze is only a rogue because of his wife. Like, that’s it. He only wants (or wanted, depending on the version) for his wife to be cured and to live happily with her again. All of this is for her, either to help her or to avenge her.

That’s to say that yeah, if Danny managed to weasel his way into his heart, he would have a place with him forever.

He’d probably only interact with him at first because of the ice powers, but if Danny did manage to get closer to him (that’s a pretty big if) I think he’d do fucking anything for him, just like his wife.

He would raze the GiW to the ground for his boy.

They’d do alright probably. Nothing special, but it’d work out ok: Scarecrow, Ivy & Harley, Two-Face, Killer Croc.

Scarecrow is, funnily enough, not that bad. Like, is he genuinely deranged? Yes. Is he murderous and cruel? Yes. Does he have a moral compass that would absolutely support taking care of a child? Yes.

He’s been shown multiple times to genuinely care for people, even if it’s in his own way. Like, yeah, maybe fear-gas-themed murder and torture is a bit far sometimes, but it’s what he knows how to do.

Like, would he know how to take care of a kid? Hell no. But he does have a pretty good list of what not to do, courtesy of his own childhood, so he’d have a pretty alright start.

Ivy and Harley aren’t rated higher because I just don’t think they’d really be responsible enough for a child. I don’t doubt that they’d be able to love Danny, nor that they love each other, but they’re not very stable, and they don’t have a very good grasp on normalcy.

Like, they’d be incredibly cool aunts, or family friends, or something. I just don’t think that they’d do well being the sole guardians of a child or teenager.

I can’t stress this enough, I think they would genuinely love having Danny with all their hearts. I just don’t think that love alone is enough.

Avoiding that genuinely depressing thought, I think Two-Face would similarly be an awesome uncle to have, but wouldn’t do well at the actual “parenting” thing.

Like, he could keep a kid alive no problem, and he’d probably be awesome to have as a legal guardian and stuff, but there’s no way in hell he’d be able to keep Danny in line, for the sole reason of not really seeing a reason to.

However, if he got put in Arkham, he’d 100% not be above guilt-tripping Bruce into taking Danny in, so he does have backup options.

Killer Croc would be an awesome friend to Danny, but that man is in no way capable of being a parent.

He’s got a pretty short temper, and Danny is a little shit. There’d definitely be fighting. A lot of fighting. Croc still gets some points though because he’s a decent guy and I don’t doubt that he’d be willing to get help from the other rogues or even Batman should he need it.

Shouldn’t be trusted to keep a gerbil alive, yet are somehow still better at this than Maddie and Jack: The Riddler, Solomon Grundy

The Riddler is a childish, egotistical asshole with a bit of a god complex and a truckload of emotional baggage.

That being said, he’d still do better than Danny’s actual parents.

Partly because the bar is so low.

Like yeah, there’d be a lot of arguing, but I don’t think that he’d actually ever fight fight with Danny, mostly because he’d feel like he was turning into his father.

For the most part he’d be at the same level as Scarecrow or Killer Croc, I just put him lower because I think he’d forget to feed Danny sometimes. Still not as bad as the food coming alive to attack him though.

Solomon Grundy is pretty similar to Killer Croc in terms of how I think he and Danny would get along, I just think he’d be much worse at getting the things Danny needs to live and be happy.

He’d be cool as a weird uncle, or a friend, but he’d be pretty awful at being an actual parent.

The house is on fire, god is dead: Mad Hatter, Ra’s Al Ghul

Mad Hatter would have UNIMAGINABLE levels of beef with Danny. He would unironically throw hands with a child.

That being said, I think he’d genuinely like Danny.

Wouldn’t make up for anything, but I do think he’d at least not hate him.

Ra’s would be funny as hell no matter what.

He’d ALSO have unimaginable beef with Danny, but for entirely different reasons. He would spend all his time trying to convince Danny to become a member of the LOA and also to turn him fully immortal. Danny would buy him a “world’s okayest dad” mug and “I’m not the dad who stepped up” shirt. They would try to beat each other to death over Damian.

Danny would still probably choose him over Vlad in a heartbeat.

Getting dissected would have unironically been a better option: Joker

Your homework today is to watch Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker.

Because I know you won’t, I’m just gonna tell you that Joker has done some MK Ultra shit to a child before in order to mold it into a mini version of himself, and he’d absolutely do it again.

One of them would absolutely end up dead, and considering their track records, I’m not so sure it would be Joker.

[batmanrogues-scenarios]

Any rogues

W a close friend who's kinda half dead/alive?

They were from another universe but somehow ended up in their universe making them half dead/alive cause they don't exist in the universe so they technically have yet to die in it (Their abilities are like Danny phantom's)

They can become alive or a ghost, also to make this more fun let's make the close friend someone from.... What about the pirate era?

They'll have a blast when they know what they missed out on! Woah, there's flying cars now? There's a weird guy who dresses like a bat and is one of the good guys in this universe? Holy fuck? TELL THEM MORE

Soaks up any information they got from rouge like a sponge, so so curious of the new era around them and imagine their surprise when there are modern pirates too! (When I found out about it I was pretty surprised, thought the pirates stuff was long gone now)

Despite their innocent curiosity side, they're quite the opponent! Never underestimate a pirate who had one of the largest bounties in history, the number isn't just for show

- SS

Harley Quinn

So cool! Can they go through her?

Loves the pirate stuff and learns as much as she teaches.

She's actually pretty good in explaining stuff, makes them learn pretty easy.

She's kinda a pirate too! She got free Photoshop!

Loves watching them fight, now that's amazing!

Wants to have bounty on herself too.

Mad Hatter

Ah, what a jolly fellow! Loves their clothes.

Honesty just accepts that they're from different universe, he often gets into rabbit holes too.

Finds their ghost powers so interesting, they can get so much stuff done.

Really likes their description of today's technology, it's very flowery. He can explain stuff the same way until it comes to his mind control devices, then he gets technical and confuses them.

Cheers them on while they fight.

BTAS! Clayface

Ah, he remembers when he played pirate. Good times. Wants to know how accurate was his portray.

Looks like he isn't only freak of nature now. Kinda comforting.

Not best at explaining, for it's so common and yet can't describe it. It's annoying.

Takes notes at their fighting style and later practices in front of the mirror.

[jackdaw-and-hattrick]

Family, they’ll drive you insane!

Pt. 1

Danny’s classmates were staring at him. Not anything new; he’d been bullied throughout his school career, so he tended to ignore the whispers and backward glances. What he couldn’t miss was when the girl he’d been calling French Braid since they first started Introductory Psych (Jazz’s orders) a few months back decided to snap a pic while she thought he was focusing on his notes. Like Danny had focused on anything not related to space or engineering in his half-life, he’d expected it to end up on a “secret” group chat, you know, the usual. He’d hear about it; of course, he would; there were no secrets kept from the dead and only some from the half-dead. What he hadn’t expected was to wake up at fuck all in the morning to his usual social media updates courtesy of Tucker (yes, memes are a love language, thank you very much) and, instead of the usual celebrity gossip and cat pics, was his very own dumb mug in all its glory. The tagline? New Wayne Just Dropped??? Secret Bruce Wayne/Harley Quinn love child??

Well, that was new. Below were two more, one of a middle-aged man in a close-fit suit smiling broadly at the camera. Danny had to admit there was a striking similarity between him and the man (Bruce Wayne, he guessed. He’d never really cared about celebrities). His hair was black and shone in that off way that Sam said always reminded her of ravens (she claimed that’s the only reason she ever dated him) and ice blue eyes. He had a stronger jawline than Danny but the same high cheekbones and barely concealed eye bags. The other picture was of a woman, one he recognized, though they’d never met. It was Dr. Quinzell; he recognized her from the shrine in Jazz’s room. The Dr. was a different story than Mr. Wayne, but there were still some similarities. They had the same big eyes, a small button nose, and the same slightly lopsided smile that spread from ear to ear. Danny’s jawline matched her’s more closely than Bruce’s. All three had dimples Danny had spent his life ignoring. (You can only take being bullied ‘bout somethin’ so long before you get sensitive about it.) So yeah, if you were looking in from the outside, you’d see the resemblance. Too bad for them; Danny already knew who his parents were, not that they were on speaking terms just now.

Now, Danny had two options here. Either ignore it or lean right in. Arguing doesn’t work. Ever. So Danny did what he always did in these situations; he made everything worse. He made himself a TikTok account, specifically, and reacted to the original video with a solid fifteen seconds of (slightly maniacal) laughter, followed by a wink. There, given anyone found this, it should shake things right up.

(“Like an ant terrarium,” his brain so helpfully supplied, “Like a bag of goldfish”)

His chaotic task of the morning accomplished, Danny got back to getting ready for school, (and after absolutely not skipping breakfast, no sirree!), he headed out. Luckily, Chad (his roommate) hadn't slept in the apartment for about a week so that he could escape unscathed and un-annoyed. Poe, Danny’s favorite roommate, seemed to be out as well. Hopefully harassing a hungover Chad.

After everything with his parents, Danny, he’d got the Hell outta dodge (and Danny knew a thing or two about Hell). See, Danny had come out to his parents, and well, it could have gone better.

(At least they didn’t dissect me) he reminds himself, thinking of his parents (At least it could have been worse)

(It’s better when it’s worse, then you aren’t waiting for the other shoe to drop.)

Tuck forged his transcript, and Sam’d set him up with a weekly allowance of a few hundred dollars. Her allowance, actually, plus some whenever her grandma snuck her a little something extra. Rich people, right? Somehow, against all odds or reason, Danny had managed to land a full ride to Gotham U via the Wayne STEAM scholarship project. He hadn’t even known he’d applied. The whole thing was Jazz’s idea, but… It was Jazz; if she had a plan, it probably was gonna happen, one way or another. So she’d submitted some old blueprints of his. A battery, he thinks, or maybe his upgraded (functioning) version of the Fenton Phone. Wam, bam, thank you, ma’am. Now Danny was attending free of charge with a pension, housing, and a fast track to the Wayne Research and Development department. Minus the roommate (Chad, Poe was an angel), it was a good setup.

It was cold outside, at least, judging by the thick coats and “knit” hats. As far as Danny was concerned, it was just balmy, but then so long as the temp was above 0* K, there wasn't much chance he’d notice. (there was an idea, tomorrow, he was gonna have to try something a little new with his outfit). Classes, while better than high school, dragged on nonetheless. He got his usual goodie bag of sideways glances and snickers (seriously, what about him made people so pissed and condescending?). Then around noon, something shifted. People were staring, sure, more than ever, but now they seemed almost… Scared.

Danny knew scared. In fact, some would say he was kinda an expert in the field (fuck off, Scaredy Crow, the adults were talking). He tasted it every time a bomb threat came in, every time a call came through after a Joker attack. For him, fear was as tangible as the smell of rain in the air. Danny knew that people picked on him because they were afraid, even just a little, of the kid in their chem class who never could wash off the offputting smell of death and ozone, like the child of a smoker who never felt clean. Everyone just trying to get one up on the jerk who made them so uncomfortable just by existing. It got worse after he died and then escalated on his ascension.

This? This was different. This fear was more focused, more concentrated. A deep-seated uneasy which seemed to permeate the air for miles. It felt like when he was in his Phantom form. Like he was a palpable threat. Danny kept his head down; no point stirring the pot. Finally, his day classes finished (he had precisely two night classes, but fortunately, they were both online). He turned on his notifications. Sixty-seven missed calls, mainly from Tucker, but a shocking number from Jazz for this to be a non-emergency. None from Sam, so likely not the actual end of the world, but still not great. Finally, after grabbing empanadas from a food truck and a milkshake for strength, Danny called Tucker and Jazz.

“THERE YOU ARE!!!”

Ok, wow, that was Jazz. Calm, sane Jazz.

“HAVE YOU CHECKED YOUR TIKTOK?!?” Tucker yelled, equally excited.

“...Umm...” Danny said, shifting through his admittedly crowded home screen, “Just gimmie a second… Holy shade!”

There were an ungodly number of notifications on his literal one single reaction.

“Alright, that's... Weird. But why are you guys trying to combust my phone?”

That was an exaggeration. His addition of Fenton Phones pretty much never caught on fire without a source after getting too many notifications... These days.

(He was thinking of designing one that would combust after a randomly generated number of calls. You know, for funsies!)

“Hold on, gimme a second!” Tucker scrambled to send Danny a link to whatever nonsense was cutting into his free time. “Here we go!”

A video popped up on Danny’s screen. It was the video he’d reacted to earlier, but where he would have stood on screen was a very familiar doctor, mirroring his reaction. Fifteen seconds of laughter, followed by a wink. Down in the tags, a sentence; “#Hey kiddo!#Long time no see!”. A very familiar grin stretched across his face.

“I don't see the issue here.”

“There isn’t one!” Jazz said, still glowing like a rave and with far too sharp of teeth, “It's just... Dr. Quinzell!!! -Your video!!! -Called you kiddo!”

“Focus, Folk, I need sentences.”

Jazz took a couple of deep breaths, the screen dimming noticeably as she centered herself.

“Danny, Dr. Harleen Quinzell, my childhood hero, is not only being mistaken for your parent, my parent by association, but she’s reacting positively!”

“Easy, Ska,” Tuck said, “She’s reacting, not handing over adoption papers.”

Jazz hummed, rocking a bit and still glowing.

“Hey,” Danny admonished, “don't ruin her dreams!”

“So what are you gonna do with this?”

“Oh?” Danny smiled even wider, “I’ve got a few ideas.”

“Oh no, I know that look!” Tucker said, his grin betraying him thoroughly, “That's… Hmm… Gimme a second.”

Tucker pulled up two photos, a screenshot of Danny and the unmistakable Harley Quinn Grinn™️.

“A true family resemblance!”

Dying at this idea I just had: People become convinced Danny is the love child of Bruce Wayne (known manwhore) and Harley Quinn, because

-he looks just like a young Bruce, if (somehow) marginally paler, but with Harley’s button nose and big eyes.

-Then there’s his big, Harleyesque personality with Bruce’s faith in humanity and both’s proclivity for taking action against what they see as wrong.

-He’s a gymnastics champion like Harley with real intelligence buried deep under layers of plain silliness, though much more capable sobering up when situationally appropriate.

-Dangerous big animals love them and they have no answers why

-Both Danny and Bruce have BDE (Big Dad Energy)

-(also both Danny and Harley are high key metas but everyone just doesn’t mention that)

Both Harley and Danny do everything in their power to feed the rumors (without saying anything directly, that would be cheating), including Harley egging Bruce on camera while shouting “pay up bitch!” And Danny taking up wearing one of Harley’s jackets.

[hppjmxrgosg]

So please feel free to ignore this if you would prefer not to answer, but do you have any DP fics you would recommend? Just something we could check out while we patiently and lovingly wait for your next chapter release? Crossover or non crossover both are welcome.

Hey! Sorry this took me so long to get to! I don't have a lot of DP fic saved (i have a weirdo fic filing system its weird im weird dont worry about)

BUT!! i do have quite a collection. (and a few of them are dp so bonus!)

so here is a like. a fic rec list ig? just some of my faves. >:)

(i feel like these always reveal an uncomfortable amount about a person but fuck it we ball)

Completed Fics I Think Are Just 🤠

Salvage: Atla fic. Zuko centric. Very found family. Angst? heavy. Vibes? immaculate.

Deeper, Darker: Danny Phantom & Stranger Things. when i tell you this fic rocked my shit- its very long, very dark, very horror-core. excellent world building.

Sticks and Stones: Harry Potter & Naruto HEAR ME OUT ON THIS ONE OKAY JUST HOLD ON is there anything more pro trans rights than taking a funky lil guy, a traumatized lil assassin child soldier guy, and using him as a way to wreck the shit out of the Harry Potter Universe? Didn't think so, next question.

(Anbu kakashi gets sent to hogwarts to fuck shit up. he succeeds)

All The Leaves Are Brown (And the sky is gray): Marvel. Bucky Barnes & Tony Stark centric (but in absolutely not the way you think) i actually think this one is pretty funny. a good time if you're depressed 💅 yk what im saying?

Unmasked: Spider-Man: what it says on the tin. when i tell you this was a roller coaster to read on live updates- but shorty pulled through ✊😔 spider-man and Harley keener centric. quality shit if you asked me. i havent read the second part of this series but this one slapped so lmk.

Incomplete But Updating Fics That I Think Are Just 🫡

The File: Percy Jackson & The Avengers. when i tell you guys this is one of the greatest things i have ever read in my life- its so good. its actually a series. i have read every word. this is the fic that inspired me to write VC. I will never stop thinking about it. in my head completely rent free. not like the other PJxMarvel crossovers ✨

the first step of kintsugi: marvel, spider-man and the punisher. i just think it's neat. (i say as i am literally dying over this fic) so good. dynamic 9000.

This Boy's Too Young to Be Singing the Blues: Marvel, Spider-Man & DAREDEVIL this time (bc i am a sucker for spider man and a sucker for daredevil and 1+1=🤠 yk what im sayin?

Friendly neighborhood vigilante: DP x DC!! (what you came for lol) not danny centric. Jazz/Jason (power couple fr)

lex luthor's ascent from supervillainy to fatherhood: dp x dc . honestly? slay. a touch disjointed in the beginning but over all ✨quality✨ and (from what i can tell) semi frequent updates so double slay.

i have a few more but i hit the link limit so ill just name them and you should be able to track em down on ao3 with a lil searchy search ya feel?

Padfoot And Hound by SayItAll

Harry Potter & Naruto (i am so mentally ill what do you want from me)

i am sooooOo normal about this one guys. sooOoOoOo normal. guess when this was first published? 12/18/2020 i have been live reading this thing for the past two years. I love it so much.

The Victory Series by ewfte

Naruto & Boku No Hero Academia

its incomplete and discontinued so be warned but it is so good. SO good. just. I cannot even express.

and ofc The Ghost of Heroes by Enigmaris (DP x Marvel) and Ghost in the NYC by ASharksReadingGlasses (a fic inspired by comics by the-stove-is-on-fire) also DP x Marvel

these two i really think are kinda staples of the marvel x dp side of the phandom so vibes. if you haven't read them you're missing out on your culture.

this is a really long post but these are just some of my faves or what im reading right now. in any case, vibes.

[plut00nline]

Fuck it im doing it

My 2020 top 20 movie list

(Disclaimer that most of these weren't made in 2020 but I just watched them this year. These aren't also really in a very particular order but they are lowkey ranked) (i also had to be choosey with the images i out cause of the limit, but yeah dont mind that)

20. The perfection

The plot twist in this movie is *chefs kiss* there was no way for me to predict the ending, bug as far as thrillers goes, it is brilliant. And also, lesbians. It can be a pretty triggering movie for ab*se and general gore, but really I love the pacing and the thrill of it.

19. The shining

Ah yes, a classic horror, and though I may feel iffy about Stanley Kubrick, this movie was pretty good. But I am saying this as a person that didn't read the book. The blood rushing down the hallway was really my favourite visual on the movie. It was a movie that made me felt genuinely scared while watching it, like hiding behind my blanket but also sweating scared, the suspense was pretty thrilling though

18. Doctor Sleep

Man do I love Danny Torrance, and Abra, fuck I love them both. Again, I never read the book, but my ignorance keeps me in bliss. The visuals of this movie are also great, and the emotions this movie puts through? I'm just glad headcanons exist, but really I did enjoy this movie even if it wasn't what I was expecting.

17. Birds of prey

Harley deserved a movie, and the fact that it was directed by a woman makes me love it so much more because we just got to see harley doing the things that she fucking wanted. This movie is wlw solidarity, from Margot robbie to Mary Elizabeth Winstead, women with crossbows? Sign me the fuck up. And from all the DC films I've seen, it's so much brighter, in the visual sense, there's colour! There's character! And not everyone is just brooding in darkness, its the type of movie that would make me actually watch and enjoy DC films.

16. Charlie's angels

Firstly, lesbians. Thank you. But really, its a good action comedy and really I'll jump at the chance to see women kick ass.

15. My octopus teacher

I've never cried over an octopus before, so that was an experience. And even though this is technically not a movie, I still wanted to put it on here cause it was really just a great documentary, especially since it happened in my home country and im very oddly proud of that fact.

14. Knives out

Murder mystery and chris evans go so well together. I have made a longer post, but to sum it up, like most of the movies on this list. The colours and the pacing and just the atmosphere of the movie was spectacular, and even though I couldve guessed the ending, I was still on the edge of my seat for most of it

13. Ready or not

I love this new wave of eat the rich media. Samara weaving is a great actor and I am in love with her and this whole movie. It really was something that I hadn't actually seen before and the fact that the whole curse thing at the end was true was really just wow. Along with eat the rich, I love the feral female energy lately, and the whole white clothing slowly but surely being covered in blood.

12. Geralds game

The line "youre only made of moonlight" lives in my head rent free. This movie, was really an experience and for a movie with only two people in it for the majority, it is really well done. I'll always feel iffy about a man writing a woman's experience (specifically) but I do love the way this movie went, yeah I hated the "Hand" scene, but I still enjoyed the after math of it.

11. The old gaurd

Again, more lesbians, what more could I ask for? The concept for this movie is brilliant, immortal mercenaries is the only trope I want from now on, and found family.

10. Parasite

Again with the eat the rich. This movie was mindblowing, and just, the imagery!! And im glad they didn't dub it in English cause fuck that, I enjoyed it perfectly with subtitles.

9. song of the sea

This movie, this movie! Is so precious and I had that song stuck in my head for days.the name Saoirse is also so oddly pleasing to hear. This story is so beautiful, the music is amazing and it makes me want to be a fae.

8. Scott pilgrim vs the world

This movie really did pass what my expectations for what I thought it was gonna be, the music was amazing, the transitions and editing style was *chefs kiss* and even though I felt like I was in a fever dream the whole time, it'd be a fever dream I'd gladly rewatch.

7. The imitation game

Thank you Alan Turing. This movie recked me, like emotionally, I was a mess when I was done with it, but damn was it good, like I really just felt something while watching it, I mean most.of the movies on this list did, but this one just really hit me in some way.

6. Klaus

At least there are still good Christmas movies being made. Actually, I was a mess for this one too, the second that child got that sleigh thing it was over for my emotions. The whole sirge of turning Santa into this big macho dude really is working out and that's how Santa should always be depicted. I could gush about the animation style of this movie all fucking day, I love it so much (and the shadows!!! Ahh the shadows!) It really is just incredible.

5. I'm thinking of ending things

Hey man, I knew this was gonna fuck me up just by looking at the trailer, but there was absolitley no way to prepare for whatever was about to happen. Even after watching it, I have no idea what happened. But I still found it great, I love movies that give me an existential crisis.

4. Spirited away

All I wanted to do, was eat everything in that movie, even if it would turn me into a pig, holy hells this movie is good. There was just this satisfying appeal to it that I can't quite put into words. Its beautiful like everything studio ghibli movie ever.

3. The Willoughbys

I never knew I needed a found family movie with a bunch of kids that were already family. I've made a longer post about this movie, and I dont think I could really say more, this movie is so fucking touching and I love the direction it went in plot wise.

2. Howl's moving castle

Again, I may not have understood wtf was going on, but I'll be damned if I didn't love every second of it. There is no doubt that this movie is stunning, and I really am a suckered for early 2000's 2d animation, because!!! Look at it!!! Studio Ghibli films always just floor me with how good they look. I really wanna read the book, because I would absolutley love to see a feral Sophie giving howl shit for crying over hair.

1. Us

This movie will always be my no. 1 it is amazing and I love everything jordan peele has done with his movies. Especially for it to have a full black cast, and those black people have darker skin than what is normally shown in media. The feral but also calculated nature of each character is beautiful and nothing can ever make me hate this movie

I hope you enjoyed this incoherent "review" of my favourite movies I watched in 2020, its been a shit show and movies really have been a place of comfort for me. But stay safe and happy new year!

[everyothermouse]

Hmhm I love you I love the au u made I need the p l o t but I don’t want to bother you uhhh was yea ok <:)

ok!!! Basically there are 2 plots that converge, a silly lil camp in the woods and a fae love story! Let’s go under the cut for this cus I’m gonna be explaining them for a hot minute lol

I’m gonna make a breakdown of all the individual characters in a minute but for now here’s a chart I just finished so u know whos where in all this

(Eros not on here but he’s a forest folk) So I’ll give u an expo on both of the plots (feel free to come ask questions as ur reading or after ur done, I would Love to talk abt this au as much as possible)

The fae side: Eliana here’s from two of her townsfolk (the twins) that there are fae in the woods. All her fellow townspeople say they’re just being pranksters again (the amount of times they’ve tried to convince the town there’s totally a werewolf just outside of town is too many for them to be a trustworthy source- and as aspiring nightwalker hunters of course they’re trying to spot fae in every leaf and under every rock), but Eliana, curious, decides to sneak off one night to investigate. After all if there’s a fae out there, it’s her responsibility to ward it off from her town! what she finds though is not a silly lie from the twins or a terrifying manipulative monster- in A flower patch she sees her, the most beautiful charming looking fairy she’s every seen, all alone weaving a flower crown in the woods. He spots her, and although she’s scared at first and wards them with her axe, she can’t bear to attack him. they hit it off really quickly, and Shirley shows her the beauty of the hidden parts of the forest, lit up by the magic of the moon, as opposed to the normal sunlit forest Eliana is used to. She returns home at dawn with promises to come back the next day. Meanwhile Shirley goes home to his ghost husband like ‘omg I just met the prettiest lady evr, she’s coming back tomorrow can we keep her’ and Thomas is like ‘bro we already have jr‘ and Shirley is like ‘no but I want to kiss her 🥺 and hold hands 🥺🥺🥺 and trap her in the fae lands forever with me 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺’ and Thomas is obviously slightly jealous but he’s like ‘yeah whatever’ bcus he knows if Shirley does try and make out with some daywalker he’s prolly gonna kill her by accident anyways jdgfufndkc. so Eliana starts going out every night with the excuse that she’s choppin down wood, (ninas suspicious of this excuse but Michael tells her eliana wouldn’t lie,) and Shirley keeps trying to get her to stay forever and eat all their food and introduces her to Thomas and jr and stuff, and it’s nice and all but shirleys making her stay for longer and longer, and he can’t handle letting her go for even a second. Eliana doesn’t mind tho, she’s totally blind with love, and eventually she’s tells the town abt Shirley but that he’s totally not like other fae and definitely cool and there’s mixed feelings, some ‘awwww Eliana finally found a girlfriend, so sweet 🥰’s and some ‘they’re not different ur just being manipulated, we should go kill him’s and even some ‘huh, wasn’t that the name of the guy Harley was crying abt not being able to remember, lol crazy coincidence, Emerson let’s go bully harley’s.

yeah but Shirley has fucking crazy attachment issues and horrible death magic, so eventually one morning he does get REALLY upset abt his girlfriend leaving, like the whole tree (Thomas and Shirley live in a treehouse) is dying around him and Thomas is holding jr begging him to calm down, and Elianas finally like ‘hmm. Maybe this was a bad idea’ and that’s about where we are rn with that whole thing.

CAMP TIME: so as shown from chart above, there’s some ppl living in a lil forest camp together :) emi and graci moved there because they wanna learn how to hunt nightwalkers >:) there was a reason for it a couple years ago but they kind of forgot what it was (cough Shirley disappearing cough) but they’re still dead set on it! And lucky dink, as they’re moving to camp big Harley comes home to visit his brothers and ends up joining the camp for a bit since all 3 of his brothers are there! Camp Side of the story doesn’t have a ton of plot, mostly Harley low key having a crisis abt how busy his life at his actual home is and how everything feels so horribly off here even though hypothetically things haven’t changed much since he left and the twins fucking around and causing trouble around camp. Hallow thinks it’s funny that the stupid kids wanna hunt night walkers cus he is one, so he gives them the tip that theres a vampire in camp and they become dead set on it being Jane. All the kids like playing with Ben like he’s a whole ass jungle gym, he thinks it’s cute. kibi gets dragged around by emi and graci while they try to find the werewoof at the edge of town (sadly they only find Andy, darn, but he plays them some songs so not a total waste. also yes Andy is obviously the werewolf the twins are just stupid GDSHDSJD.) charlotte sits around crying and the other kids and counselors like to play a game where they all take turns trying to make her laugh (the first time the twins came to camp Emerson made her giggle, belle and Ben were so happy they were just sitting there sobbing bcus their girl finally smiled again, so Charlie quietly suggested they make it a new daily game because he hadn’t seen Ben and belle that hopeful in years :,) ). jr and Maria go around biting peoples ankles and collecting sticks. After hearing emi and graci talk abt town, Jane decided she wants to go visit town, Danny‘s super hesitant but the other 3 camp counselors all agree that since she’s 16 now she’s definitely old enough to go where she wants. While shes there she goes to a festival and meets Andy (17) and it’s nice :) also hallow has ero Boyf who visits sometimes and Danny’s got husb Sébastien who he and Jane visit a lot.

ya that’s pretty much all the plot stuff for now! there’s some more backstory stuff abt thomas dying with Charlotte watching and Shirley going missing and what not but yea that’s pretty much it :D

[phantomskeep]

okay so yet ANOTHER big brain move with the queer moms meet lil danny phantom. Because I can't help myself I simply love the idea of this.

fair warning, this contains spoilers for the harley quinn show seasons 1-3 (which btw my fellow dp fans who kind of know a little bit about the dc universe via fanfiction/fan content and are able to watch a show with lots of blood, gore, and adult human: watch the show. its so good. a 10/10 for me). Because while I personally haven't finished it I have an idea on what's going on.

So, we have established that danny's found in an alley near the dead mall by ivy and harley doing some uhhh adult fun. but let's change it up a bit, shall we?

The Soon-To-Be moms just got back to gotham from Edin. but like when ivy takes a walk before coming up with the Big Bad Plan to takeover the world/terraform it into basically the prehistoric age. she ends up finding danny in an alley near the mall on her way back from like a park nearby. she's a bit confused on WHY a barely-teenaged kid was near a known supervillian hide-out so late at night. especially when ivy and harley's return to gotham was via public transport. and when the kid sees her and doesn't immediately start screaming/running in the other direction she's a bit confused. when she notices the kid has a bunch of dried blood all over him and torn up clothes she's now both confused AND worried. why? because in the show poison ivy actually really does care about people its kind of sweet. lady really just wants to chill in a garden and live her best life.

BUT danny and ivy meet like that. she very awkwardly questions wtf danny was doing out and about when injured. he kind of off-handly jokes that its because his parents want to rip him apart molecule by molecule so he's just trying to find a nice dumpster to nap in. this causes ivy to go ham into protective mode, since in the show her entire backstory is her dad being a piece of shit and beating her. so she kind of kidnaps danny like "dude i live in an abandoned mall with my girlfriend and squad come join us" and danny's a lil sus but eventually decides that well, if all else fails he can legit dip the hell out of there at any time. ivy and danny go back to the mall and ivy sets him up in one of the spare rooms/shops (maybe dr psycho's old room?) and then runs down to tell about/show the squad danny. they're all kind of freaking out over this lil boy, asking him a bunch of questions as they do, cue bane walking in for his pasta maker. because this show is on five different types of cocaine.

danny, ofc, is watching this whole thing freaking out a little bit. he's getting ready to run away so he can throw down with bane. but then bane's all like "you didn't get married give me my pasta maker back" and the squad all eating their pasta not-so-gently telling him fuck no then he leaves. so while this is going on danny's trying to put the pieces of this puzzling universe together. Green lady, funky clown lady, lump of clay, talking plant, talking shark, and some super buff dude that would put dash to shame wearing a weird full-body suit? and for all the "revenge" he talked about not even doing anything about it? just walking away? it's not looking good for danny's idea of what "normal" is for the DC universe.

BUT he hears that they're planning on breaking into a museum to steal a Jurassic Park style mosquito to take over the world. that's not realllyyy his style but harley's kinda up in his face excitably asking him if he wants to join them! because it would be so fun! so danny's like "uhhh yeah maybe I guess" while planning on sabotaging them. cause he's a hero doing hero stuff. yeehaw.

the plan in action, however? goes to shit. ivy ends up ditching the squad + danny when the guards start shooting, the squad + danny manages to catch up to ivy, then they escape but barely because ivy tends to panic under pressure.

which is a mood.

ivy makes the eden serum using the mosquito in order to resurrect the dead plant matter in the earth. if anyone else has watched the show; you KNOW that shit looked like some dp ectoplasm. the plant comes to live, walks around a little bit, then turns into a horrifying ecto-monster. it's speaking in jumbled ghost speak/plant speak asking anyone to just kill it already because its in pain and it hates whoever brought it to life so danny smacks it with an ecto-blast, causing the ghost-plant to fall into the barrel of toxic waste. in ghost speak, the plant tells danny thank you and dies. again?

ofc the squad freaks out a little bit about danny's powers but ivy runs out and harley follows, leaving danny with the rest of the squad.

aaannnddd that's all the ideas i have right now but mmmmm im loving writing this. im not gonna say its a fic because i SWEAR i can write better than this. better grammar, capitalization, less random lil notes scattered around - the whole nine yards.

but this is fun and I love the idea of ivy and harley adopting danny with king shark, clayface, and frank being his weird uncles and catwoman being his fun wine aunt.

ALSO I've heard rumors about a danny phantom fan discord? anyone have information on how I can join it? ;)

[britcision]

Hey guys

I have present for you

Not sure if there will be a WIP Wednesday this week since I’m con crunching and we leave on Thursday, soooo… this will tide you over I’m sure! The completed chapter 15!

Previous Chapter:

First chapter and AO3 link:

————-

I’ll Take The Highway

Time was almost slipping away too quickly in the milkshake bar, and Danny wished he didn’t have to keep an eye on it.

(Well. Seriously hoped. Even in the privacy of his head, he couldn’t make it a wish.)

He had to get Tucker back to MIT though, and back to Gotham in a reasonable time frame to get to bed before class tomorrow.

If he got to bed before midnight, there might be a chance for he and Jason to run to the Far Frozen in the morning. Or after, Danny’s classes didn’t run late. Or…

He was missing out on the fun today, trying to plan tomorrow. Much as Jazz would love him being more organised, he pushed it to the back of his mind.

They’d visit Frostbite soon. And find out how Jason’s core was, though Danny was beginning to think he knew. Here, when Jason was happy and relaxed? Not tensed, shut down, or angry?

Danny could definitely feel something he hadn’t before. Not exactly the same as another ghost, or any of the other halfas, not yet.

But it was almost like Box Lunch’s fresh core seen through a house of mirrors.

Maybe that was what had him so close to the edge today? It was taking some pretty serious effort not to react to even the mention of an old threat to Jason.

Jason, the sweet baby ghost.

And if his smile was a little sappy at that thought, well, that was no one’s business but his own. At least he had something to sit on for when his rogues started embarrassing baby stories.

Finally he couldn’t put it off anymore. Too much to do, friends to fly across country, and he still hadn’t found a good way to ask Waylon his question. He just… well.

He’d given Jason all the server info, the stuff about who his rogues were, how he beat them, the things they’d learned about the Infinite Realms. They’d even shared some stories around different bits.

That didn’t exactly explain what he wanted to ask Waylon about. And it really wasn’t something he was comfortable sharing just yet, even if he already knew it was dumb.

Jason was a good guy. Who hung out with Batman, who was apparently an asshole. He wouldn’t judge Danny for having some dark and fucked up stories in all the zany ones.

Fuck, maybe Waylon could tell him how Jason would react. It was gonna come up, it’d have to, and Danny really would feel better having someone else’s opinion.

He was reluctant to interrupt their good time, another story devolving into laughter, but it was getting into the afternoon and… well, he also had no idea how long this would take.

“Hey, uh, by the way. I’ve gotta head out in a bit, dropping Tuck back off in Massachusetts, I just wanted to talk to Waylon for a minute first? In private?” Because if Danny had learned one thing?

Direct worked best.

It worked now, Harley nodding along and hopping up, cartwheeling her way along the table and out of the booth.

“Say no more, Danno! C’mon, Jayjay, I wanted ta catch up with you on somethin’ too, so this works perfectly!” She declared cheerfully, giving Jason a fond tug to his fluffy white streak of hair.

Jason shot Danny a look that was half commiserating, half curious as he slid out of the both after her, but Danny was too busy staring into an imagined hellscape where Harley met Jack Fenton.

Fuck Dan, the world couldn’t handle that.

By the time he came back to himself, he and Waylon were alone in the booth, the big man watching him curiously.

“So, what’s on yer mind, kid?” He asked in a low voice, folding his arms on the edge of the table and leaning in.

Secret villain hideaway or not, this wasn’t something Danny wanted just anyone overhearing, so he beckoned Waylon closer to his end of the booth first, tucked into the wall.

The big guy slid his way surprisingly delicately down the seat, then leaned in again, watching Danny expectantly.

Which was when Danny realised he shoulda probably thought about a good way to put this.

Blunt it was gonna have to be.

“So… you… Harley said people called you Killer Croc before you ever hurt anyone?” He said in a rush, flinching at how bad it actually sounded said aloud.

Waylon… did not have eyebrows to raise, and it was really fucking weird that he was noticing that now, but it was definitely what he’d been doing, and Danny was distracting himself again.

“They did,” Waylon agreed a moment later, his voice low and even. Guard up, but not defensive. Not closing the topic off.

Danny huffed out a sigh, and found he couldn’t quite meet the man’s eyes. Found himself intently examining the diamond pattern on the formica tables. His own hands, twisting in front of him over that pattern.

“You… you became what they said you were. A monster.” The words caught in his throat, hard to spit out and shit he thought he was past this.

It had been years.

A scaled green hand covered his, and Danny found himself surprised by how smooth the scales were. Far from soft, but not rough. Almost smoother than the table.

“Who called you a monster, kid?” Waylon asked softly, his voice gruff with something too close to understanding.

Danny’s head snapped up and he shook it quickly, sucking in a deep breath.

“Oh, no one. Not for like, a really long time now. And they said sorry and everything, it’s not that. It’s… you gave into it. Let them make you something wrong and dangerous, and you stopped. How did you stop?” He asked quietly, finally finding it easier to look at Waylon’s face.

He looked surprised.

**

Finding Jason had been harder than usual. He’d never turned his phone back on after last night, and Bruce was still wrestling with one of his least favourite (and most common) side effect of a concussion; light sensitive headaches.

Even with the screen brightness all the way down, it was hard to even look at the batcomputer while he waited for Constantine to arrive.

None of his usual tricks were helping, spikes of pain jabbing behind his eyes every time he tried to scan the cameras for Jason’s presence.

It was Babs who found him in the end, taking her lunch at the library late to help him out. She had whole programs to scan the security cameras of Gotham for her, trained to recognise any bat or rogue from any angle.

False positives happened, but usually didn’t take more than a look to confirm or deny. They were extremely accurate.

Bruce would know.

He had copies of the same programs.

They just weren’t running properly.

He was probably still tired. He’d been pushing himself while injured, as usual, and as usual Alfred would be eager to tell him he’d been overtaxing himself too hard to work efficiently.

And then Constantine was late.

By the time the magician arrived, Bruce was regretting having taken a break to sleep at all. He should have sorted this out last night, before ever calling Jason.

They could have picked a time to meet, and while Bruce was fully aware Jason might have just told him to fuck off, he might not have. Especially if Bruce had promised to leave him alone.

He knew better than to ask Jason to introduce Danny to Constantine.

Barbara had generously kept an eye on Jason in the interim, and by the time Batman and Constantine were ready to go he seemed to have settled in Freeze’s place.

The Frozen Fields. Named for his wife, who Bruce’s top scientists still wouldn’t be able to save.

Along with Harley, Waylon Jones, and Danny.

Of course he was with Danny.

Half the city seemed to be intent on frustrating him today. They’d taken the Batmobile, and while he tended to only drive it in emergencies (and after dark), it still barely sped the journey through the city traffic.

It always felt wrong, sitting and waiting with the rest of the cars in the Batmobile. Didn’t match the “lurking justice in the shadows”. Which Constantine was quick to remind him.

Bruce just gripped the steering wheel tighter, sucked in a deep breath, and nearly bit his tongue when they finally edged up to an intersection only for the light to turn red.

**

Waylon sat back in his seat, back scraping against the wall of the booth as he surveyed the kid in front of him.

Little squirt was tougher ‘n he looked, that much was definitely true. Harley had given him the short run down on their way to the milkshake bar, all the powers she knew he had.

And that he’d been hunted by his folks for a while. Waylon knew how that kinda shit could mess ya up.

He appreciated the heads up too, cuz this kinda shit coming up outta nowhere? Also pretty damn rough. He’d wondered if the kid just wanted to come along for another fight.

If he just wanted another chance to say he’d looked Killer Croc in the eye.

But there was no real bravado there, not even when he challenged Waylon to a rematch. Shit, the kid treated him more normal than most of his henchmen had ever managed to.

Made sense, knowing he was part a ghost an’ fought ghost rogues, but it left Waylon wondering. Apparently he was getting his answer.

Same damn question he’d asked himself a thousand times, ‘specially around the kind of young vigilantes who’d taken a turn to the bad.

Didn’t mean he had a good answer.

He regarded the kid for a long minute, watching the fidgeting, the sudden shyness from a boy who’d literally tackled him from behind on a whim.

This wasn’t just an idle question. Something made him sure of that, and he’d never been involved in all that much of the really weird shit. You heard stories, especially in Arkham.

So he decided to give the kid the best answer he had.

“Cuz I was the worst version of myself. I let myself be the monster they thought I was, got pretty good at it. But it never made me happy.” He paused, mulling it over.

Chuckled softly and looked down into his half drunk milkshake. It was kinda funny how obvious it seemed, in hindsight.

“Shit, there was never even anythin’ I wanted. Not like Penguin, Freeze, or the others. People treated me like a monster so I tried to be one, cuz why the hell not? Couldn’t be worse, could it?”

His gaze shifted back to Danny’s face, watching the kid’s expression. No judgement, which was nice. But he did look confused.

“So you just… got sick of it?” Danny asked, his brows furrowed as he played with his fingers.

Waylon chuckled and shook his head.

“Kinda. Spent a while thinkin’ if people couldn’t treat me with respect, fear’d do. But it ain’t the same. An’ I never had the drive or creative cruelty to stand out in Gotham.”

Danny looked a little incredulous at that, eyebrows rising, but he caught himself before commenting. Snickered and shook his head.

“Yeah, I guess being in a city that’s used to people like Scarecrow and the Joker puts “big and green” into perspective,” he agreed dryly, and Waylon laughed.

It felt good to laugh.

“Oh yeah. City’s got more than its share of low level thugs anyway. I spent a while as extra muscle for the big boys, but I ain’t the takin’ orders sort,” he explained with a modest shrug.

Danny grinned, folding his arms on the table and leaning forward.

“What, a shy and retiring guy like you?” He asked, clearly teasing, and Waylon waved a hand dismissively.

“I’m lucky it was Gotham,” he added after a moment, reflection sobering his mood. “Got sent t’ Arkham. Met Harley. An’ the Bat’s not all that bad. He tried gettin’ me outta the life a couple times.”

Danny cocked his head, a slight frown returning to his face. Following Waylon’s lead.

“How did Batman try and get you out?” There was a little too much intensity for it to be a casual question, and Waylon noted it. Not that he’d figure it out on his own.

Just tryin’ to make sure he didn’t damage the kid.

“Oh, there were a couple ways. Got me moved down to Florida once. Out in the green, away from people. I figured bein’ a wild animal might be more my speed, but it wasn’t. An’ it got messy when I left. Like that whatever he tried, really. There’s lines you can’t uncross.”

Lines like being a cannibal.

Not that he was sobbin’ on a preacher’s shoulder about it. Most of the people he’d eaten were assholes who’d deserved it, and it’d been a preference, not a need.

For all people loved to go on about him eatin’ kids and babies, he’d never actually done it. A guy had to have standards.

Made it easy to stop, once he was in a better head space. He and Harley had talked a lotta old shit out.

Kid didn’t need to know those grisly details though, at least not from his own mouth. Watching Danny a moment longer, Waylon came to a decision.

“Look, kid. There’s a lotta reasons people go bad. Some of ‘em can’t be helped. But if they’re not gettin’ anything out of it, if there’s no goal? The appeal runs out. And sometimes all it takes is someone willin’ to reach down an’ haul yer back up to the light.”

He wouldn’t ask if that was the case with whoever the kid wanted to help. Everyone heard stories, ‘specially about heroes meeting their evil selves.

The fear looked personal, but the asking coulda been for anyone. Waylon was in no rush to judge.

Danny mulled over his words for a while, lips moving soundlessly as he frowned down at the table. This time when he looked up, there was a peace in his eyes.

He’d come to a decision. Good for him.

“Thanks, Waylon. You seem like a pretty great guy to me,” he said simply, and Waylon definitely did not feel a lump in his throat.

“This is after years o’ Harley workin’ on me,” he grumbled gruffly. Shaking his head, he slurped down the last of his milkshake quickly.

Nothing like brain freeze to explain being a little misty eyed.

**

Jason didn’t exactly object to being led out of the bar by Harley; Danny wanted to talk to Waylon in private.

Jason had figured Danny had something to ask the guy about. He hadn’t exactly expected not to be part of the conversation, but that was fine.

He’d know if Danny got into trouble. Fuck, Danny could handle any trouble Gotham could dish out, probably. And the rogues had some basic manners; not starting shit in Freeze’s place was one of them.

Penguin might put the squeeze on and make your life uncomfortable if you lit up the Iceberg Lounge. Dr Freeze’s cold shoulder was a lot more literal, and he didn’t do “proportional response”.

So yeah, he could be cool and give Danny some space.

It wasn’t exactly a surprise that Harley wanted to talk to him either, although he still didn’t see the point. But he let her guide him around the side of the building to a back alley anyway.

“Still fine, Harley,” he said before she could get started, both hands raised in front of him.

She gave him an all too knowing look and hopped up to sit on the dumpster. Put her about a head taller than him. Not that he cared.

“Sure, kid. You’ve been goin’ through a lot though, so I gotta ask; is there anythin’ ya wanna talk to Auntie Harley about?” She asked in her sweetest voice, interlacing her fingers under her chin and batting her lashes.

Jason snickered and leaned against the other side of the alley.

Shit, he wasn’t even annoyed with her play acting. The pit was a happy little puddle in his chest, all sunshine and roses.

A week ago he’d have walked away. Been pissed at wasting his time, getting in his way. How much of that had been because of the Lazarus pits, the problems with the ectoplasm he’d apparently been supposed to be solving?

Was that why nothing had ever been enough? Why he always had to keep pushing? Carve himself a patch of Gotham, keep going. Cut the crime out of Crime Alley, not enough.

Take up with the Outsiders, keep himself busy, rushed off his feet so that when he fell into bed for a couple hours a day he didn’t even dream?

When was the last time he’d taken a breath and just… relaxed? It all felt so long ago, but it had barely been a week.

It just. His whole life had unclenched, like it was a muscle he’d finally stopped using.

Fuck, maybe he should talk to Harley about it.

He got the feeling she knew though, those eagle eyes tracking his every move. They’d never really hung out, but he was uncomfortably aware of how well she’d known him.

How much of him was still the boy she’d known?

She was waiting for an answer, and all of a sudden Jason wasn’t sure what he’d say. Knew that if anyone in the world understood, it just might be Dr Harleen Quinzel.

He sighed and rubbed at the back of his neck, unable to meet her eyes. Fuck, he was getting as bad as Bruce.

And if that thought didn’t kick him up the ass…

“You ever wake up one day and realise your whole life’s been going wrong?” He finally asked, glancing up from the corner of his eye.

She’d dropped the cutesy act, leaning forward with her arms braced on the edge of the dumpster, her face professionally calm. Open. Sympathetic.

“Think I might know just a lil about what that’s like,” she agreed softly, and Jason snorted.

“Yeah. Well. Turns out ever since I came back from the dead I’ve been haunted. Literally. And no one ever noticed.”

He hadn’t even come all the way back, but he couldn’t say that. Not yet. But maybe he could share some of the rest.

Harley nodded slowly, giving him her full attention. Just waiting for him to go on.

It kinda felt like being under a microscope, but not in the cold, analytical way Bruce did that always pissed him off. Like she really cared, and was looking for all his broken parts so she could help him fit them back together.

Fuck, if his kid self had ever known he’d one day trust Harley Quinn over the whole Justice League…

Shit, he didn’t even know how much she already knew.

“The pit rage… it’s a psychosis people get, coming out of the Lazarus pit. Makes you angry, violent, stronger, like a blind rage. For most people it goes away. Mine didn’t.”

He almost wanted to laugh, bitter and sharp.

“Because it wasn’t just the psychosis. I’m not fucking weak, I’m not fucking broken, there’s something else living inside me and it made me so fucking angry all the time…”

The frustration was building again, but this time it was his. All his, not a bubble, not a stir, and part of Jason thrilled with it. He could feel however he wanted, just him.

He cut it off though, forcing himself to relax before Danny could notice. Could worry about whatever he was projecting in his aura.

He could kinda still feel Danny’s, which was new. Not brushing against his, not touching like they were close, but he was aware in a way he hadn’t been before.

Like if he shut his eyes he could point in exactly the direction Danny was standing.

“Danny’s the only one who noticed. Well, really, he’s the only one who could. It’s a ghost thing, and he… he got me help. I feel like myself for the first time since… since I came back.”

He hadn’t even noticed how much the background rage burnt through him until it stopped. Until he could look at his family and see their prodding for what it was; concern.

It was still surprising him, and maybe would for a while. Kinda hoped not though. It wasn’t the most cheerful train of thought.

Seeing that he’d run out of words, Harley gave him a moment to find more, then reached over and ruffled his hair. It was barely a strain in the cramped alley.

“Kid, anyone with two eyeballs t’ rub together can see Danny’s real good for ya. So why’s Bruce tryin’ so hard to keep ya apart?” She asked gently, and Jason snorted.

Rolled his eyes and folded his arms, caught himself doing it, and forced them back to his sides.

“Not rubbing his eyeballs together?” He asked dryly. Harley just snickered.

“Please, if we could get ‘im ta stop overanalysing everything that’d be the miracle. So what’s got ‘im on edge?”

Jason hesitated for a long moment, thinking about it. Finally he shrugged; as always, Bruce was a mystery to him. The man who’d taught him all the tricks to pick apart any mystery. Except himself.

“No idea. We played a prank on him and the Mansons at the gala like we told you last night?” He offered, already aware it wasn’t likely to be the answer.

Harley shook her head in agreement, which almost threw him off.

“Nah, you’re right. The whole making-out-in-a-closet shtick is classic, even if he didn’t see through it yet he’s never cared about you boys smoochin’ before,” she agreed, then sighed and tugged him in to press a kiss to his forehead.

“Whatever his problem is though, it is his problem Jason, an’ what he pulled at the gala has nothin’ t’ do with you or Danny. I already told ‘im off about not talkin’ to ya and I’m gonna do it again when I catch him. Right now I just wanna hear you say you know it ain’t your fault,” she told him firmly, cheeks held between both hands.

Jason fought the urge to roll his eyes. And the rising lump in his throat.

“I know Bruce’s bullshit isn’t my fault, Harley,” he grumbled through smushed lips. Harley squeezed his cheeks a little tighter.

“Then say it anyway. It ain’t your fault Brucie has a bug in his ass, and ya ain’t done anything wrong to deserve it.” She was firm as the wall behind him, utterly unrelenting.

And she could go on for hours, if memory served. Long enough for Danny to come out and see. That was why Jason told himself he gave in.

Nothing at all to do with the way her words ached and bled a gentle warmth into the icy void in his gut where the anger still roiled.

“It’s not my fault B’s got the emotional capacity of a wet newspaper. I don’t deserve his helicopter bullshit any more than anyone else,” he told her obediently, doing his best not to be too sarcastic.

Harley placed a kiss on his nose and released him.

“That’s my good boy. Now, more about this haunted thing. You boys got a plan?” She asked sharply, head cocked as she watched his face.

Cheeks red, Jason leaned back against his wall and pretended it made him out of reach.

“We do,” he said curtly, looking down at the trash strewn ground. Trying to explain it now would take too long, Danny would be out soon.

Of course Harley noticed, nodding thoughtfully and leaning back, kicking her legs.

“Well, if ya ever want to tell me more, you’ve got my number. An’ I’ll get Brucie off ya back for a while, even if I’ve gotta call in the Boy Scout. Whatever you aren’t tellin’ ‘im, don’t let ‘im rush ya,” she told him firmly. Jason had to smile.

“Aren’t you the one always telling us to communicate?” He asked half rhetorically. Harley grinned and hopped off her dumpster, making her way to the front of the alley.

“It only works if ya wait til you’re ready. Pushin’ an’ rushin’ only makes it worse,” she explained airily, stepping out into the street.

Turning, and freezing like a hound on a scent. Eyes narrowed, she patted Jason on the chest as he stepped out after her, not turning her head.

“Jason darlin’, be a dear an’ run get Auntie Harley her bat. The bike’s parked ‘round the back,” she said ever so sweetly, and that tone combined with the narrow eyed glare meant Jason knew exactly who she was looking at before he turned.

He did it anyway, eyes widening as he caught sight of Batman, in full gear, coming down the street towards them. Accompanied by John Fucking Constantine.

Had he seriously come to chase him away from Danny in person? In fucking costume?

The anger surged, his and the pit’s, held back only by the small woman in front of him. The dainty hand on her chest, that’d turn into an iron bar if he pushed it.

Sure, she couldn’t actually hold him back, but she didn’t need to. Whatever Jason wanted to say or do to Bruce, Harley could do a whole lot worse.

Anger melding into a vicious satisfaction, he turned straight back down the alley with a spring in his step.

**

Bruce was a little relieved to arrive outside the bar and see Jason already there. Batman walking in wouldn’t have been out of the question, but he’d rather avoid the theatrics.

Danny not being in sight didn’t come into the decision one bit.

But then Harley said something to Jason and he turned away, leaving immediately. Bruce sped up, planning to follow Jason down the alley-

“Hold ya horses, Batsy,” Harley snapped, stepping directly into his path. He could have gone around her, certainly, but he stopped.

If there was even a chance he could get her on side, that would help immensely.

“I just need to talk to Jason,” he said in Batman’s low growl. Constantine had stopped too, well back of whatever was going to happen.

At least he wasn’t a complete fool.

Harley folded her arms, giving him her very least impressed look.

“An’ if the words you’re sayin’ ain’t “I’m so sorry please forgive me I’ll never do it again”, ya don’t actually need to. Ya need ta speak to me.”

Bruce almost frowned at her words. Why now? They’d spoken before, but she’d seemed satisfied. What had changed between now and their last conversation?

Batman’s face remained impassive as ever.

“Harley. It’s important.”

“He wants me to give the kid a magic checkup,” Constantine put in from behind him, still well back. He waved at Harley when she glanced his way.

Harley’s eyes narrowed for a moment and then Jason was jogging back down the alley, holding her bat.

What the hell had changed since their last conversation?

Pinning Constantine with a piercing glare, she held it for a minute before turning her attention back to Bruce. Snapping her fingers in front of his mask before he could even open his mouth.

“Uh uh! Johnny needs ta talk to him fer that, not you. YOU need to come talk ta me. Now.” She held out her other hand without looking, and Jason slipped the bat into it.

Had he really upset Jason that much at the gala? He’d thought he understood about the public apology, but this felt… well, worse than he’d expected.

More urgent. More vehement. She was more angry than she had been.

He’d gone wrong again, some time between now and then, and he had a Justice League meeting in an hour. Less, counting in the travel time back to the nearest zeta terminal.

Did he have time for this?

Jason was glaring at him, flat and unfriendly, but with a decided undercurrent of anticipation. Bruce’s presence would only make Constantine’s job harder.

Ignoring the part of him that thought the magician deserved to have it a lot harder, he nodded and refocused his attention on Harley.

“Fine. Here?” Better to get this over with. He could put aside all of his personal thoughts and feelings for the meeting, but at least he’d have answers.

Harley gave the surrounding street another sharp look, then shook her head, crooked her fingers, and led him into the alleyway.

“We’ll go ‘round the back. You’re bad for business,” she told him archly, and Bruce followed without a word.

He didn’t tell Jason to stay and speak to Constantine; he was self aware enough to know that would have the opposite effect. The magician would just have to sort himself out.

Part of him almost hoped she would actually use the bat this time. It served its purpose as a visual symbol, but everything made much more sense when people just wanted to beat him up.

Navigating their emotions and separate interior lives and expectations was… messy.

**

Constantine and Jason stared at each other for a long moment after Harley and the Bat disappeared down the alley.

Then Constantine sighed and nodded after them.

“If they’re goin’ round back, we can take this off the main street. If you don’t mind?” Not that the boy had much choice.

They’d caught him unmasked, which raised again the fuckin’ question of why Batt-o was so intent on being masked up for this one.

Maybe he just didn’t want to change. It looked like a lot of kohl on under that mask. Probably took a while to switch in and out.

Jason narrowed his eyes back for a moment, then shrugged. His whole posture still screamed annoyance and aggression, but moved back into the side alley anyway.

“Whatever. Not too far though. I need to hear if my friends leave.” There was something about the agreement that didn’t quite sit right for John.

Too easy. He didn’t have much (any) experience with the kid, never having willingly gotten near a revenant, but… well, this? This was weirdly passive.

When he’d seen the kid coming back with a weapon, that had made sense. He’d half expected Jason to take a swing personally; the dead-or-dead-aligned tended to have a different understanding of acceptable violence.

Handing it off to Harley was basically trading a gun for a nuke, but he didn’t seem at all upset that it hadn’t been used. Hadn’t gone for Batman’s throat, no matter how much Harley seemed to think he’d be justified.

What the hell did the Bat do now?

Something was off with Jason, something that made Constantine almost rethink his earlier guess.

Kid dies, shows back up a couple years later in a storm of blood and violence, demanding revenge? Yeah, that was classic revenant. Physical body, jacked beyond anything the kid shoulda grown into? Ditto.

Even the rage the Leaguers reported checked the boxes, but a revenant shouldn’t be this calm. Not in the face of any kind of threat.

Good news, really; he probably wouldn’t go for Constantine’s throat. John was more than happy with that, though he did regret getting the Bat all worked up.

Not that there was another version of the story Batman might take better, mind. Whatever the hell Jason Todd was, the kid wasn’t human anymore, and for ol’ Batsy the rest of the details didn’t much matter.

They got out of sight of the main thoroughfare, Jason leaning back against a wall with his arms folded and a smirk on his face that was just all challenge.

Constantine didn’t rise to it, brows furrowing as he raised a hand and murmured the beginnings of a spell.

Felt it instantly crash around him, smacked down by a power so titanic he’d have fallen if the side of a dumpster hadn’t caught him. A power so old, so wrought with death, so fucking familiar that it blacked out every sense.

No way in fucking hell any kind of fucking revenant, wraith, zombie, ghost, anything could leave that taste in his mouth. No, that? That was a personal signature.

And not something that could be done lightly either. A power like that… no, this power, Constantine knew exactly whose it was.

This kind of power, reacting this strongly? This instantly, even here on Earth? That was the full force of the Infinite Realms, which had to mean…

Eyes wide and shaken, John scrabbled at the lid for support, staring at Jason. Who actually looked more than a little surprised himself.

It took him a moment to find the words, longer to steady the shake in his voice.

“You… you… holy fucking hells, Jason, do you have any idea what you’ve done? You’ve bound your fuckin’ soul to-”

“The same guy you sold yours to?” Jason drawled, raising an eyebrow.

And alright, fair, that was a pretty good fuckin’ point, but Constantine was well aware he was a dire warning, not a good example.

Damn hard to argue that to a smugly reclining something-or-other that had bound himself so tightly to that same king that John couldn’t even do a gentle magical probe.

He’d been planning on being polite and everything. Noninvasive, Jason wouldn’t even feel it.

Shit, had he felt the spell shut down too? Constantine was about to ask, but Jason wasn’t done talking. Or smirking, looking distinctly amused that he’d shut the mouthy magician up.

“Did you know he owns your soul eleven times by now? That seems a little low to me, surely you’re down to hocking scraps,” Jason noted with a dry chuckle.

Constantine shrugged defensively, well aware that his battered soul was nothing to write home about. Still mostly trying to work out what the fuck was going on.

What use would the Ghost King have for a bat? A use important enough to fold Jason, who’d only be risen six years, into the high court?

Sure, the kid was good, he’d proved that in Gotham’s underworld, but to the Realms? He was barely an infant, and cuttin’ off heads would not impress there.

“No one buys just a piece of a soul. Every deal’s for the whole thing, which is why they keep me alive rather’n letting me kick it and tearin’ up the bits,” he explained distractedly, giving Jason another slow once over.

The good news was, nothing about the guy smelled like a revenant. There was power there, sure, a hint of a magical signature just on the borders of recognizable, but he couldn’t quite pin it down.

Jason hummed in acknowledgement, or maybe interest, but Constantine needed him to keep talking. Needed more clues to work out what the fuck this guy was.

“Pretty sure I haven’t had anyone make the same deal eleven times though,” he commented cautiously, trying to appear as casual as Jason while watching him closely, wishing he’d accepted some bat-training, “most people only make that mistake once.”

“Yeah, I asked about that,” Jason agreed with a dry chuckle, and the bottom fell out of Constantine’s stomach.

A position that let him backtalk the king of the Infinite Realms? Triple not good, not least because that lot were volatile and fuckin’ possessive, but not more so than goddamn Batman.

“Apparently people handed you over for some kind of tax season. You’re a low value trading card over there at this point.”

And that knocked every other thought out of Constantine’s head as he straightened, unreasonably affronted.

It’d be fucking nice to be low value. People might ignore him.

And since when did the Infinite Realms collect taxes?

“Low value? Princes of Hell are fightin’ over my damn soul, it’s the only thing keeping me kickin’,” he protested, and Jason snickered.

Gave John a smug, superior smile.

“And ten entities gave your soul up for tax breaks. Let’s face it, it’s not like you have rarity on your side,” he pointed out smugly.

“It’s still only one soul,” Constantine pouted idly, his mind suddenly spinning mile a minute with the implications.

The kid couldn’t have had this much presence last night, whatever else was true. John would have noticed.

It might just have been now that he knew to look for it, but Jason practically glowed with the essence of the Realms. He’d also somehow not just gotten himself bound to the Ghost King, he had a position where he could question them.

And have his questions answered, if not hugely coherently. Maybe that was just the translation through Jason, though.

That could be a good thing. A good sign at least, for the temperament of the new king. Pariah Dark never listened to questions by all accounts; people never got the opportunity to ask. He just conquered.

Of course, John knew enough magical entities to know that “willing to talk” did not mean, friendly, helpful, safe, or even “not prone to constant and complex lies”.

Thing was, he could handle liars. Tricksters. Anything of the sort, usually, cuz if nothing else? Being willing to talk before shooting meant Constantine had a chance to confuse them.

He was bloody good at that, all else notwithstanding. Almost his most useful talent.

It might be worth trying to find a little more about the Ghost King. Doubly if Jason was willing to help, but that’d have to be careful. No way to know what the kid had accidentally sworn to on that soul bond.

Hell, how was he gonna work out what the kid even was with magic off the table? It’d be back to the fuckin’ books and Undead 101.

At least he was still in his own body. That put a limit on the possibilities, but there were still a lot of options. Bats was going to be unbearable.

Because worse yet… the one thing John did know, with absolute certainty, was that the kid was getting stronger. If he hadn’t manifested any powers yet, it was just a matter of time.

Whatever Jason was, whatever deal he’d managed to pull, the damn halfa wasn’t even the tip of the iceberg. Something was feeding the power in him, whatever had yanked him back to the land of the living to start with.

Plus side? Batty could get off his ass about the kids hanging out. Jason had already taken a fuckin’ jet across whatever influence hanging out with a ghost could do, and pushed right the way to the other side.

He might as well be fuckin’ drinking ectoplasm at this point. Kid could carry Danny around on his back and not make a lick of difference.

Course, if it was the halfa who got the kid to make his deal… well, Batman would have another reason to worry about them hangin’ out together, but the damage was already done.

It wasn’t a soul buy, not to John’s experienced eye. Not a leash around the kid’s neck, not a claim stamped into his being. If anything, this was worse.

Somehow Jason had gotten himself so tightly wrapped to the Ghost King that the other’s power all but flowed in his veins. Even from here, far from the Realms, Constantine didn’t even finish the spell before it was smacked down.

That… that was new. Nothing he’d ever seen before, and he was well used to possessive metaphysical assholes who didn’t like anyone else touchin’ their shit.

Fuck, did Jason even know?

Constantine sucked in a breath and gave damn near instantly on even trying to form a tactful question a bat would understand. Kid was playing in his kiddy pool now, like it or not, and John had to know how deep he’d gone.

“So what deal did you make?” He asked bluntly. Not that Jason apparently minded in the least, still smirking as he gave the magician a cool once over.

“Y’know, I’m pretty sure it’s rude to ask. Not discussing paychecks and all that,” he drawled casually, eyes still dark with that barely covered aggression.

Constantine rolled his eyes.

“I had three princes of Hell gettin’ a little too cozy and a cursed rock lookin’ to turn the world to pink tourmaline. The Ghost King was big enough to shut ‘em up and let me push the rock to a different dimension where it’s never gonna be our problem again. Now quit bein’ an ass, I know a lot more about this kinda shit and I can tell ya if they hid any clauses.”

That did shut Jason up, the kid’s eyes widening for a moment like he hadn’t expected Constantine to share.

Tough titties for him, John already knew Batman was gonna be a bitch about this so doing the due diligence early? Pretty much their only hope.

He considered it longer than John thought was justified, since it was inarguable. John Constantine, soul selling expert. He should have business cards made.

Finally the kid shrugged. He still looked prickly, defensive, but he was listening.

“Well I didn’t sell him my fucking soul.” Which.

John stared at him, mouth agape. Snapped shut and narrowed his eyes.

“Kid, you could not be more marked if you wore a neon sign. You signed something over, the Ghost King ain’t the sort to give prizes for free.”

A Ghost King Jason seemed to think was a he, so that was a useful little piece of intel. He’d definitely know better than John if they were already on ask-questions stage.

Jason scowled and shrugged, arms still crossed.

“Lucky me. Protection from big scary human wizards, for the low low price of my service. And some help with my Lazarus problem,” he added, as if the last was the only part he though worth mentioning.

Constantine sagged back against the wall, sinking down to sit on the alley floor. Bracing his elbows on his knees he ran both hands through his hair, holding his head up.

“Great… just fucking great,” he muttered, voice muffled by his new position. Part of him wanted to laugh, but he was pretty sure it’d come out a sob.

Hysteria beckoned.

Jason made another noise that might almost have been concern, and Constantine forced himself to suck in a breath. To keep it together.

Forced his head up so he could glare at the kid who now looked just way too confused.

“You get that that’s worse, right?” He snapped, eyes narrowing. “You get that selling yourself into service is fucking worse?”

Jason glared back down at him, drawing himself up like size and muscle was gonna impress a magician.

(It might have if Jason was a decade or two older, but not the way the kid intended.)

“What the fuck d’you think will happen when he takes your soul?” He snapped back, aggression rising fast enough that Constantine forced himself to stop again.

Deep breath in. Hold. Out.

One more in. Hold. Out.

He got to ten, the kid watching him with visible confusion, deflating the longer John went without pushing back. Yippee for him.

When he thought he had his voice under control again, John forced himself to his feet.

“I sell my soul, and if anyone ever actually claims the damn thing they can do whatever they want to it for eternity. It’ll fuckin’ suck, kid, but the one thing they can’t do, no matter who it is?”

He just sounded tired now, which only wrong footed Jason even more. Why had he even gotten out of bed at all?

Maybe if he left now he could just go back. Tuck himself up in the House of Mystery, feed his League communicator to something pandimensional, and just hide for a while.

The Bat would probably come after him.

Taking another bolstering breath, John did his best to sound calm. Not patronising. Because the kid damn near definitely had no idea.

Which was why people should leave magic to the fuckin’ professionals.

Catching Jason’s eye, he held it, hoping to impress the seriousness of what he was about to say into the kid’s soul.

“They cannot compel me to action. They can try all sorts of force, all sorts of fucked up shit, but I get the last say. They say jump, I say fuck off, no jump. But selling service?”

Jason’s eyes had widened now, and John could just see all those little wheels turning. Well, set the little fuckers spinnin’ faster.

“They say jump, you’re on the way up before you can ask “how high?”. I dunno what you think you signed up for, kid, I dunno what deals with the new king are like cuz I didn’t fuckin’ ask. But you get a copy of the damn contract and bring it back to me. I’ll see if there’s anything we can do about it.”

It was the only logical option, especially with an entity this powerful. Constantine was betting the kid’s hatred of being used, being controlled, would make him agree even if he hated it.

He probably could have been nicer, though.

Jason’s eyes flashed, actually flashed a bright, ecto green as he shot John a glare that promised bloody dismemberment.

There was something else too, something that definitely wasn’t there a second ago but filled the alley now. Something hot and angry and powerfully vicious, something that wanted his blood.

If there were space to back up, he would have. As it was, he let his hand slip behind his back, ready to teleport. He had no doubt that any kind of binding would meet exactly the same fate his inquiry had.

Even in civvies, Jason Todd cut a menacing figure as he stalked the two steps across the alley to put himself directly in Constantine’s face.

“For fuck’s sake, I am not a fucking child! I don’t need you to hold my hand, I don’t need your fucking help, and I don’t need your fucking permission to live my fucking life!”

Constantine actually leaned back, his head brushing the wall behind him as Jason shoved a finger into his face, his every muscle taut with barely restrained violence.

“Like you just fucking said, you don’t know shit! So maybe, just fucking once, the whole fucking lot of you sit the fuck down, shut the fuck up, and stay out of my fucking way!”

This close, Constantine could feel Jason’s hot breath on his face. This close… something clicked.

He could feel Jason’s anger, projecting out of him in a way that definitely wasn’t human. Choking and visceral and absolutely nothing like the pulsating bloody rage that forced itself down his throat.

There was something fucking else inside Jason. Something that tasted of the Infinite Realms and wanted his head on a stick.

Something that wasn’t the Ghost King. Didn’t carry the touch of his claim.

John was about to teleport away, fuck Batman and all of Gotham, when Jason turned around sharply and marched out of the alley. Almost like the kid was running.

Slumping back against the wall, John Constantine closed his eyes and breathed in the city smogs, only happy that none of it actively wanted his blood.

**

Harley let Batman precede her around the milkshake bar to the parking lot at the back, a quick glance confirming that they were alone.

For the best, really; anyone present might get entirely the wrong idea.

Taking a casual roll of the wrist for added momentum, Harley took a quick shot at the back of Batty’s knee, stepping up quickly beside him to use the return swing to catch him in the gut.

Caught off guard, he crumpled, landing on one knee and glaring up at her.

“Harley…” he growled, and her eyes narrowed.

She’d done this the nice way last night. He hadn’t listened, so now they were doing it his way.

“Batsy,” she shot back, cutting him off quick and direct. Tapped her bedazzled bat gently off her other hand. “We had us a talk already this week.”

No specific times; not in an unsecured location. He’d know anyway.

From his silence, he wasn’t quite ready to admit it. But he didn’t try to rise. Conflicted, then.

Like that was new.

Harley pressed the bat gently under his chin, tipping his head up to face her.

“And yet somehow, despite you assurin’ me you’d listened real close, a mister Jason Todd is out here tellin’ me you tried to ban him from hangin’ out with his new boyfriend?” She asked sugar-sweet, her expression all danger.

She could just about see the moment it sank into his head. Even with his actual eyes covered, that cowl was still plenty expressive.

Kinda freakishly expressive. Not ideal for the crime fighting to her mind, but what would she know? She much preferred committing the crimes.

He tried to argue, frown so deep he’d have wrinkles within the day.

“This has nothing to do with that, the Fenton boy is dangerous to his condition-”

Harley cut him off by poking the end of her bat almost into his mouth, her eyes narrowed. And sure, she was bein’ delicate with his head outta concern for that concussion, but there were limits.

“An’ what d’you think ya know about Jason’s condition that a half dead kid don’t?” She asked sceptically.

Batman hesitated. If he pushed the bat away, they’d have an actual fight on their hands. One he might let her win, if he just needed the tussle.

She’d never known a man so eager to have someone put him on his ass, and so incapable of ever lettin’ it actually happen. Well, other than Jason.

Musta run in the family.

Bruce sagged back, sat on the cracked asphalt of the parking lot.

“Constantine believes that Danny’s energy may strengthen something inside Jason. Something dangerous,” he explained, still in Batman’s rough growl.

She was gonna get him a vocoder. Just for shits and giggles.

Fuck, was that why Jason wore the whole helmet for Hoody? Now that she thought of it, there was a voice changer in there.

Two cranky little peas in matching muscly pods.

She dropped to sit cross legged on the ground across from him, bat laying in front of her. Talkin’ again, take two. Time to make it stick.

“Have you actually talked to Jason about this?” She asked sceptically.

The eye slits in the cowl narrowed. Harley was not impressed.

“Have you talked to him at all, since he an’ Danny have been hangin’ out?”

Bruce glared at her for a moment longer. Did not fold his arms or pout, but she could tell he wanted to.

“I spoke with him last night. He’s irrational, angry, unwilling to listen to reason…”

“He’s sick of ya tellin’ him you know what’s best and not listenin’ ta what’s wrong,” Harley corrected flatly.

Watched his shoulders sink just a little. As much as he could deflate in the suit. Even his growl lost most of its sandpaper.

“He said Danny was taking him to a doctor. More exposure to the realms could make things worse. Kill him, or give the pit another chance to take over. I can’t…” he cut himself off, voice tight and garbled around the forced gravel.

Harley watched him for a long moment.

He’d come out in the suit. It had to be for a reason.

She couldn’t ask the questions that would break him apart in the suit. Couldn’t guide him through the revelations and the grief. Not if there was somethin’ else he had ta be doing.

Another damn time then. She’d get ‘im here again.

“Batsy.” Her voice was gentler this time, and drew his face back to hers. She made sure to catch his eye. “He already died. Seems ta me somethin’ in there never really let him go.”

She didn’t know much about the Infinite Realms… or anything at all, really. All this magic and mayhem and ghosts was fun an’ all, and she always liked to play, but it wasn’t her wheelhouse.

Didn’t have ta be. She knew how to listen to the professionals.

Bruce had stiffened, the mask of Batman pulling back, and she cut him off with a raised hand.

“An’ you only have ta look at Danny ta know that whatever all that is? Jason ain’t the first. Won’t be the last. Someone’s gonna know what went wrong, and Jason believes they’re helping him. You need to believe Jason.”

“But he could be wrong.” It was barely more than a whisper. Low and grinding and completely devoid of Batman growl, like it’d been pulled right out of his soul.

Harley gave him a gentle bop on the head with her bat.

“Then we deal with that then. But all ya doin’ by bossin’ him around an’ not listenin’ is pissing him off and makin’ him more likely ta run right off to these Realms. He’s not the sweet kid followin’ ya shadow anymore, Batsy. He’s a man, and he gets to make choices. And mistakes.”

This sure as hell wasn’t one of ‘em, but Bruce had never been good at taking that on faith. He had to be shown, and he’d never stop waiting for the tables to turn.

Which was how he usually made things worse. But he did at least know that.

He still looked mutinous, scowling across at her, so she gave him a slightly harder bop on the shoulder.

“Batman, listen ta me. I know you mean well, but Danny makes him happy. All Jason’s seein’ right now is that he’s happy, an’ you wanna take it away.”

That hit harder than any of her blows, though she wouldn’t have noticed if she hadn’t known him so long. His whole body stiffened, sudden hesitation in even his breathing.

Harley stared him down through it, then nodded in satisfaction as his shoulders lowered, just a fraction.

“I can’t lose him again, Harley,” he whispered, barely audible even less than a foot away.

She gave him an even harder bop on the other shoulder.

“Then stop driving him away. You ain’t even said sorry for the other night yet an’ now you owe him another apology. There’s always that things might go wrong; he might get hit by a car crossing the street. The only sure thing is that if you keep treating him like this?”

She leaned forwards, grabbing his chin and forcing him to face her. To look at her, and see how serious she was.

He was reluctant to meet her eyes, but even under the white outs Harley knew when she had someone’s attention. Good. He probably knew what came next.

“You will lose him, Batsy. And it’ll be no one’s fault but your own.”

**

Danny couldn’t have missed Constantine making his way up the street blindfolded and with his ears plugged. It might have been the whole “owned his soul” thing.

It also might have been the vortex of swirling magical attention that followed him like a cloud. The guy clearly wasn’t trying to advertise his presence, but to something like Danny…

Well, trying to hide that hard always caught his attention. A magical “nothing to see here” tasted like liquorice in the back of his throat.

Maybe the trench coat was actually cursed, in more than just the unfortunate fashion sense.

Part of him wondered if this had anything to do with them. The rest, well aware what his luck was like, wondered if he’d come barging into the restaurant.

It wasn’t like he shouldn’t be getting ready to go anyway, but he just… well, he was having a surprising amount of fun just hanging out with Waylon.

The guy was old enough to be his dad, but he was a great listener. Really encouraging, and he’d told Danny another couple of stories too, some from his darker times but all with happy endings.

He was probably trying to make Danny feel better after their talk, and it was definitely working. It just… well, he didn’t even really like thinking about Dan.

He’d asked Nocturn to put him to sleep not long after becoming king, to give the guy something to do other than stew in a thermos and plot vengeance.

Part of him still kinda expected that to bite him in the ass, but even if Dan broke out of Nocturn’s dreams, he couldn’t break out of Soup Time. For whatever reason he’d never learned Danny’s portal trick.

All the people who kept souping Danny were dead in Dan’s timeline.

Danny had almost been ready to wrap things up with Waylon (as little as he wanted to; they’d already exchanged numbers) when he felt Jason’s rage bubble.

He didn’t realise he’d blanked out until Waylon tapped the table in front of him with a claw, concern on his scaly face.

“Somethin’ th’ matter, kid?” He asked in a low growl.

Danny shook his head, staring down at the mostly empty milkshake and chugging the rest.

“Probably nothing… just got a bad feeling about Jason,” he explained with a shrug.

Reached out just a little, extending his senses but not aura. If Jason was already mad, that might send him over the edge.

Just as he reached out a sudden flare of fury made his hand clench, the glass he was still grasping shattering. Great, he had a hand full of milkshake and shards.

Shaking both free, Danny shoved his way out of the booth at the same time as Waylon, the big man going from concerned to battle ready in an instant.

For the first time, he almost looked dangerous. Danny was glad to have him at his back for the visual component at least; anyone who didn’t think twice about pissing off a tank like Jason wouldn’t even blink at Danny.

Killer Croc though? He got that name on his looks alone, long before he earned it.

They didn’t even make it across the bar, wait staff scattering to what were clearly well established positions in case trouble came in.

Trouble didn’t; barely.

Jason Todd did, all but vibrating with rage and steaming green with Pitty’s contribution.

Wait; steaming? Jason had mentioned the Lazarus pits did that, but Danny had never seen ectoplasm steam before. Could everyone see it?

Whether Waylon could or not, it didn’t stop him from hurrying forward, attention fully focused behind Jason for anyone following.

It was maybe the teeniest bit cute that even so angry he had a personal heat haze, Jason didn’t even think Waylon was going for him. His attention was fixed somewhere else; somewhere internal and probably bloody.

Instinct pulled Danny forward, Jason slipping easily into his aura and for a moment Danny felt like he’d drown in Jason’s rage. Answered it himself a moment later, stroking across the anger with worry-protect-safe now.

Jason twitched just a little as the aura washed around him, looking around on automatic until he faced Danny.

The rage softened just a little as he caught Danny’s eye, shoulders sagging. His jaw unclenched enough to talk; visibly enough that it must have been painful.

“Just fucking B again, treating me like a fucking child,” he spat, fists still clenched tight at his sides.

The effort it was clearly taking not to go out and start swinging kept Danny on edge, even as Waylon relaxed.

“Yer a long way from that, kid,” the big guy agreed with a low chuckle, still between Jason and the door, and rested a large hand lightly on Jason’s shoulder. “Want me to go have a word?”

Jason shook his head sharply, the smallest of smiles flicking across his face before the anger replaced it. Yeah, definitely cute.

“No thanks. You’ve only just got out, you don’t need bat trouble again already,” he said through gritted teeth, then nodded to Danny. “I just wanna get out of here.”

Danny nodded immediately, going from maybe-fight to flight. Which was kinda literally an option. Ghosts knew how to make an exit.

“Do you wanna take your bike or just disappear?” He asked simply.

Jason gave him a tight smile, barely layered over anger he was still struggling to control. Fuck, if this was what he’d been dealing with every day before Danny came along…

“Harley’s out back with Batman. I just want to fucking go,” he growled, shaking his head.

Danny nodded again, turning and crouching a little for Jason to hop onto his back.

“Phantom Express it is then.”

And yeah, he knew it looked stupid without Waylon’s confirming snort of laughter.

So did Jason, and the tinge of mirth that coloured his rage-burning-break in his head was more than worth looking silly.

Seemed like Jason was finally starting to trust his strength too as he hopped up without question, Danny not reacting in the slightest to his added weight.

And definitely not the way Jason now towered over him, or having those thighs wrapped around his waist. Nope. No horny in the aura today.

Giving a last nod to Waylon, he turned them both invisible and flew up through the roof, intangibility phasing them through at the last second.

Once they were high enough to be beyond any eavesdropping, he slowed to a stop, not quite looking back at his passenger.

“So, where do you wanna go?”

As Danny had kinda hoped, the sudden exhilaration of flight had tamped Jason’s anger back down until it was less a physical presence. It still seethed and boiled inside him, but it was losing steam.

About half of what he could feel from Jason now was just tired, and honestly? Couldn’t blame him.

Danny had been told how bad his pit rages had been, a visceral wrath that almost possessed Jason and made him lash out in all directions. And by all accounts? He still hadn’t seen the half of it.

It made his core ache just thinking about living with that much rage stuck inside. Feeling like that all the time… Danny had always respected Jason, but this? This demanded a whole new level.

And a little bit made him want to put Jason in a nice ectoplasm hamster ball so he could roll around the streets and nothing would ever hurt him again.

Gonna have to keep that under wraps too, since apparently Danny was losing his fucking mind all up in Gotham.

(Not that he’d never hamster balled anyone before. It was just usually a punishment for Tucker, or Wes if they were being assholes. Derogatory hamster balls were totally fine and not evidence of losing anything at all.)

The man himself was quiet for a long moment, struggling with just everything that was going on inside him.

Danny waited, turning them both intangible again just in case Jason could still be affected by the cold. At this height, it wasn’t exactly pleasant.

Made him side eye all those pictures of witches in dresses and long socks on broomsticks. Good way for the living to get pneumonia, in Danny’s opinion.

Jason didn’t even seem to notice, letting out a frustrated huff of air.

“We’ve gotta get Tucker home. If B is off being an asshole we can at least go to the manor,” he grumbled.

Danny paused for a long moment himself, considering another solution. After all, for ghosts it was simply unthinkable that they hadn’t even had an introductory brawl yet.

Whenever he got that pissed, getting the shit kicked out of him had always helped burn off the energy. But maybe Jason’s was different.

Danny was pretty sure he’d never been that pissed, not even at Pariah. Not even at Agent K.

Danny wouldn’t judge. For now, he nodded, turning to head towards the manor.

“We can go to Frostbite after we’ve dropped Tuck off. It’s been long enough, and you definitely feel stronger?” He offered, kinda hoping it might help Jason feel better.

The grunt he got in return didn’t sound convinced, but Jason also didn’t argue.

Neither of them were expecting to run into traffic in the Gotham airways though, at least not below airline level. Or to be interrupted.

With a sudden loud gust of wind, another black haired young man in a black leather jacket pulled up in front of them, looking around with a frown.

“Hey, I heard someone up here? Jason? Where are you?” He asked loudly, brows furrowing like he was still listening.

Danny’s confusion was better than words as Jason gave his shoulder a quick squeeze.

“Superboy the first. Tim’s boyfriend,” he explained quietly, and Kon’s head whipped around to follow the sound.

“Okay Jason, I know you’re up here, what the fuck?” He asked impatiently, which was when Danny remembered.

Still invisible. Hiding from the Bat and also concerned citizens. He popped them back into visibility with a sheepish grin, waving at… Connor? Or Con? No, kinda sharper. Kon.

It might have been a secret third level of alias, but Danny was pretty sure the bats had called him by a couple names over the various stories.

“Hey… sorry, forgot we were invisible,” he explained, trying not to laugh. Mostly at himself, but best not give the wrong impression.

Superboy’s eyes locked on them for a moment, narrowed briefly, and then his face broke into a grin.

“So, I’m gonna guess you’re Danny, Tucker’s friend that Tim has been gushing about?” He asked eagerly, reclining comfortably in the air. Then paused. “Well, gushing about Tucker. You were mentioned, though.”

That sounded about right.

Danny snickered and nodded, giving Jason a careful reshuffle. If they weren’t gonna be travelling for the moment, they could get a little more comfortable.

Thick thighs tightened around his hips and Danny very specifically did not melt into a puddle of goo. Not even a little bit.

“Yeah, we were just gonna go get Tucker and head out. Are you coming to see Tim?” He asked, kinda half wanting to wait around long enough and see what Tucker and Connor made of each other.

Kon if he was here in official capacity? But he wasn’t exactly wearing a super uniform, or logo. But Jason hadn’t mentioned a name, because Jason wasn’t a helper.

There was one easy way around that though. Bouncing Jason just a little more roughly than strictly necessary, Danny stuck out his hand.

“Danny Fenton, by the way. Since we haven’t been fully introduced.” He gave his best cheerful-but-totally-human grin. No point unnerving the first official alien he met, even if he was only half alien.

The boy reached out easily, giving him a firm handshake back.

“Kon El. Connor when we’re on street level. And yeah, I was just heading the same way when I heard you guys. Tim asked if I’d bring Tucker home though, he wasn’t sure what you guys’ plans were so if you had anything else to do?” He glanced from one to the other, so clearly not asking that he might as well have.

Could Kryptonians see the heat haze of Jason’s anger too? Or did he just know the family well enough, know Jason well enough, to know the signs?

Danny hesitated, glancing over his shoulder at the other halfa. He could almost taste Jason’s indecision, holding each other this close. Bitter and tight in the back of his throat.

How much did he want to deal with his family, with that rage still burning inside him? Hell, they hadn’t even worked out what Jason would do while Danny took Tucker home.

Danny kept quiet though, leaving the choice up to Jason.

It didn’t take long.

Sucking in a deep breath, Jason let out a heavy sigh, a wave of pure relief washing over him.

The anger was still there, a hot little coal right between the dual cores, but it couldn’t drown out the gratitude-sorry-safe. Barely tempered it anymore.

His voice was still gruff when he spoke, still stiff with emotion, but Kon seemed to understand.

“Yeah, that’d be great. Thanks Kon.”

The younger man tipped them both a sarcastic salute, straightening in the air and turning towards Wayne manor.

“You’ve probably got like, a text from Tim about the change of plan, if he even bothered to mention it, but I’ll let him know I saw you. Seems like you’re sticking around, so I’ll probably run into you again, Danny.” He gave them both a cheery nod and flew away.

A tiny part of Danny was sorry that they wouldn’t be around to watch Tucker spiral when confronted with Tim’s boyfriend.

Tim Drake Wayne was a hottie, no point denying it, and he was easily Tucker’s second biggest tech crush beside the mysterious Oracle. With all that hero worship though?

Tucker probably hadn’t actually noticed he was also hot yet. He’d have been in love with him if he’d looked like a snail.

Kon El though? Kon El had exactly the kind of leather jacket, too cool for school, sculpted good looks that Tucker fell head over heels for on any gender.

(Danny absolutely was not a hypocrite, he’d be the very first to admit that he and Tucker had very similar taste in partners, at least as far as appearances. Tucker just preferred a little more “step on me” energy.)

In all the reminders that Tim had a boyfriend, no one had said his boyfriend was hot.

Danny didn’t mention it. It wasn’t like he’d have been able to fully enjoy things anyway; the night before had proved that, and Jason’s mood had been rosy by comparison.

He did offer just one comment though, watching Kon fly away thoughtfully.

“Should we have warned him that Tucker is going to spontaneously combust if Kon tells him to ride him?” He asked mostly hypothetically, fading them out of visibility and tangibility again.

It startled Jason into letting out a snort of laughter which became a cough with his last rasp of thinner air.

“You just did, with Kon’s hearing,” he managed once he could talk normally again, and Danny considered feeling bad about it.

That sizzling coal of rage was almost buried under amused-anticipation-relief.

Nah. No matter what form Tucker’s next wave of vengeance took, this was worth it.

“So, where to next?” He asked, again… kinda hypothetically. From Jason’s sigh the older man was just as aware of what the answer had to be.

“Let’s just fucking go see Frostbite. If I keep looking at the city something’s gonna piss me off again.” He sounded reluctant, resigned, but a slow creeping glow of amazement spread through his aura.

About to pop open another portal, Danny tipped his head up as far as he could and made them visible again, looking for his face.

“What’s up?” He asked, willing to put dimensional travel on hold if there was anything they might be able to do to actually help.

Jason shook his head to focus himself, glancing down at Danny and quickly looking away. Was Danny imagining that sweet pink blush in his cheeks?

“It’s nothing.”

Danny waited, secure in the actual empathic sensation of Jason warring with himself on his back. Finally he won (and also lost, as all civil wars end) and sighed.

“Just. I’ve never come out of the pit rage this fast before,” he admitted gruffly, glaring down at the sparkling lights of the city below. Like this wasn’t something to celebrate.

Danny let them fade back to invisibility, since Jason pretty clearly didn’t want to be looked at.

“Hey, that’s great news! We’ll just have to short circuit Tucker’s gay ass every time you need a boost,” he chirped brightly, and popped the portal open to Jason’s laughter.

**

In his heart of hearts, Bruce knew why Harley was taking him to the parking lot.

If there was any chance of witnesses, any possibility of being overheard, he couldn’t listen to her. Not in the suit. Couldn’t show what any of his rogues (who hadn’t met Harley) might misconstrue as weakness.

If there was a single place in the city which could be trusted to be unsurveiled, it was the parking lots to his rogues’ side businesses. They had their own professional courtesies.

He appreciated it, in his own way. The closest thing to privacy they could have outside the Batmobile at the moment (and even then his children could listen in).

The baseball bat had been… well, not a total surprise, she’d had Jason fetch it in front of him and it wasn’t likely to be an empty prop twice in a row.

Still, he wasn’t as prepared as he could have been, and the first two blows hurt. His fold to the ground was mostly genuine, though part of him was definitely leaning in.

Concussion be damned, he’d been taking an emotional beating this week. At least exterior bruises would show him when they were healing.

But he hadn’t had time after her warning to do anything but head to the meeting.

Had he?

All he remembered was the seriousness of her face, the weight of absolute certainty in her words.

He would lose Jason, because he himself had pushed him away. Because Jason didn’t think Bruce trusted him. Thought Bruce would take away his chance at happiness.

Maybe Danny had been right. Maybe Jason didn’t even know Bruce loved him.

Things were so much worse than he’d made himself believe.

He knew he’d risen when his alarm went off, giving him ten minutes to head to the zeta tubes. Found Constantine again in the alley, since the man was with him now.

Couldn’t remember talking to him. But that wasn’t unlike himself anyway.

There was a hidden zeta tube downtown, only just far enough to justify the Batmobile, but Bruce would rather not leave it to drive home from Freeze’s place anyway.

He set it to return to the cave as he climbed out, at the end of another dark alley. The sun was already beginning to sink, painting the city in yellow and gold.

Constantine tapped carefully on the hood of the Batmobile between them, then jumped back as the car drove itself away, swearing. By the time he finished dusting himself off, Bruce was watching him again.

“Are yer back in there?” The magician asked cautiously, his own voice rough.

Bruce took a moment to assess his colleague. Never exactly tidy, Constantine looked more dishevelled than he had before Bruce and Harley left him.

Jason’s checkup likely hadn’t gone well.

Of course it hadn’t. Not if Jason felt the way Harley said… no. The way he’d told Harley he felt. Because Harley asked.

Something deep and weary in him tried to pull his shoulders down to sag, but he ignored it with the aid of long practice. Just gave Constantine a stiff jerk of the head.

“Hn.”

The man rolled his eyes, turning and heading for the defunct phone booth disguising the zeta tube.

“Great, monosyllables. Well, since yer back, listen up.”

The results of his examination, if Jason even let him perform it. Still, maybe the man would have something? It wasn’t like he couldn’t have cast a few spells without Jason knowing.

“First of all, yer boy ain’t a revenant.”

That jerked Bruce to a stop, his brows furrowing as he turned to face Constantine head on again. The magician had pulled a cigarette from somewhere, likely because they were heading for the Watchtower.

Bruce didn’t bother trying to stop him. He was too busy trying to process.

Constantine didn’t look happy either, so this probably wasn’t actually good news?

“What do you mean?” He growled, stepping closer and lowering his voice to avoid eavesdroppers.

Constantine rolled his eyes, waved his free hand, and the smoke from his cigarette crackled briefly in the air.

“None o’ that cloak and dagger shit, Bats. No one’s gonna hear us. But the kid, Jason? He’s not a revenant. Not sure what he is, actually, an’ not too keen on lookin’ deeper.”

It might have been the longest Bruce had heard him speak without saying “fuck” since the Amity Park question came up. The fact that he looked distinctly uneasy made that less reassuring.

“Why not?” Bruce growled, a little grateful to be able to step back and away from the smoke. Harley had left his head be for the most part, but it was already pounding again.

Constantine fixed him with a slow, speculative look.

“See, here’s my issue,” he began, raising a hand to cut off a growled protest and pointing directly at Bruce. “You? You’re Mr Worst Case Scenario. Can’t stop pokin’ at shit til it gives you an answer, or bites yer head off.”

That was certainly true. It was something that Alfred… Selina… Clark… Dick… Diana… almost everyone close to him had complained of.

Bruce wasn’t convinced it was a shortcoming, but he knew it about himself. It had been an underlying theme this whole investigation; Constantine telling him things because otherwise he’d go poking.

So what changed?

“You’re not gonna like whatever I tell you. An’ I could try an’ temper that by lyin’, or I could treat you like a fuckin’ adult on yer promise the you don’t go punchin’ inter shit yer don’t understand.”

Constantine stared expectantly at him, taking another long drag on his cigarette.

Ah. Waiting for Bruce to choose an option. As if there was any doubt?

“I swore your oath,” Bruce reminded him gruffly, and Constantine rolled his eyes again.

“An’ I’m fully aware you’re a tricky piece of shit that’ll try and work around it the second it comes up. That’s why it’s generic. You hear about the Ghost King, you back the fuck off, shut the fuck up, and run. That’ll include any of yer precious reports.”

He took another slow drag of his cigarette, watching Bruce the whole while. Bruce stared back, unsure what he was looking for but determined that he’d find nothing.

Shit. So much for having Red Robin and Oracle prod around for him. Though he had been planning to warn them to be delicate.

It barely occurred to him that showing nothing might tell Constantine more than anything else before the magician sighed and shook his head.

“Listen, B. The shit you need to know? Actually, really need to know? Jason’s… safe. There’s not a damn thing in the Infinite Realms that can hurt him now, whatever he is. I’d even put money on him bein’ demon proof, with the wards on him now.”

And wouldn’t it be so, so nice to believe that Constantine had put those wards on him? Bruce could feel the wish for it, a flight of fancy he rarely allowed himself.

Bruce let himself indulge in the want to believe for about the same length of time as that ominous pause.

“What wards?” He asked flatly, the low rumble not exactly hiding how he felt about the situation, but since he’d almost rather yell, he considered it fair.

Constantine, again, was not impressed. He folded his arms and prodded at Bruce with his still smoking cigarette.

“See, there’s that prodding. I’m trying to do this the nice way, B. Give you answers instead of just shutting you down, but you aren’t gonna know everything without a couple decades of practice, and you need to get over that.”

The magician took another drag, closing his eyes tightly for a second. When he opened them again, he looked entirely uncompromising.

The stern professional Bruce had only seen previously in life and death situations, and ones getting worse at that. Was this situation that dire?

“I could speak a word and make you forget this whole damn thing. Four more, and you’d have no choice about droppin’ it,” Constantine growled, clearly bitterly regretting not choosing that option. Bruce’s eyes narrowed in response.

He’d clearly ruled it out, but he hadn’t wanted to. Whatever he didn’t want to tell Bruce, Constantine expected him to have a powerful response.

Which meant that is was very bad, but also that Bruce’s natural response would make things worse. He could work around that.

He chose not to address the remark at all, just waiting for Constantine to continue. The man stayed silent just long enough that Bruce wondered if he was changing his mind on trying to make him forget.

This was why he hated magic. But he’d broken through it before. No spell could stand up to intense, detailed scrutiny, and he would surely have plenty of clues to remind himself when the problem was with his own son.

Finally Constantine sighed, flicked the butt of his cigarette to the ground, and crushed it under one heel. He seemed to have come to a decision, new purpose under the fear he’d been hiding since he first arrived.

“Let’s just get this over with,” he sighed, heading for the zeta tube. There was just a little more spring in his step.

Bruce frowned and moved to block him.

“The wards,” he pressed, a hint of irritation creeping into his voice. This conversation was important.

Constantine looked surprisingly chipper actually, raising his chin to give Bruce a sudden and almost startling smirk.

“Oh no, big guy. You had your chance to promise to behave like an adult, so we’re going with option three.”

He’d noticed Bruce’s lack of comment. Obviously, but Bruce hadn’t really thought he’d need to say anything.

Investigating was what Batman did. He knew how to do it tactfully, and without stepping on toes. He just wouldn’t promise not to do it.

None of which explained Constantine’s suddenly improved mood. It was almost the same satisfaction he’d show when he’d worked out how to pawn an unpleasant job off on someone else.

“And that is?” Bruce asked warily, suspecting he wouldn’t like whatever made this not Constantine’s problem. Constantine waggled a finger at him, like he was nothing more than a naughty child.

“I let you ask questions, after Wonder Woman promises to keep yer in line.” He said it with the finality of a lead weight, and it dropped through Bruce’s chest like one.

Shit.

Diana… Diana knew him far too well. If Constantine convinced her of whatever gave him this level of caution, she would camp in the bat cave to stop him if necessary.

Diana didn’t tolerate what she considered risk. If Bruce could convince her he was right instead… she could be a very useful ally. And she had always liked Jason.

Jason adored her. Wonder Woman had always been his favourite hero, even as a child. If Diana asked him, he might even agree to a consultation.

Bruce still didn’t know what had happened with today’s consultation, and apparently he wouldn’t even find out until they spoke to Wonder Woman.

He could extrapolate from that alone, frankly, even if Constantine wasn’t visibly rattled.

Bruce stepped aside somewhat reluctantly, letting Constantine step into the zeta tube first. They could technically fit in together, but he wasn’t exactly in the mood to play sardines.

The magician’s vehemence was troubling him, as was his conviction that Wonder Woman would be the answer. It was possible that Bruce had miscalculated the scale of the threat they were facing.

Whatever had warded Jason must be touchy enough to dislike any form of questions, and powerful enough to have its displeasure matter. And if it would be able to detect the questions being asked…

Contrary to popular opinions, Bruce did know how to temper his investigative instincts when called for. People only had to ask.

And.

Impress on him. A few times. That they meant it.

Honestly if they just told him why and what to expect, set some limitations and boundaries, it wasn’t like he was unreasonable. He just liked to verify data through his own sources.

Justice League Dark were a perfectly reputable source when he had to involve himself with magic. He could cross reference things between other members if he needed to check Constantine’s intel.

The unfortunate fact of the matter seemed to be that however little Bruce liked it, he did now need to learn more about magic. He’d been content to leave it to the experts for as long as he could, but…

But it now concerned one of his children. His second son, the one he’d lost.

At the very least, he needed to understand enough about the Infinite Realms to know how to keep Jason safe. What he would need, if there was anything they should be doing for him.

Not that the JL Dark had bothered to let him know when they thought Jason was a revenant. That might have been nice, even if apparently he wasn’t.

He’d already planned to start with Constantine’s attached reading on the Infinite Realms, and the Ghost King in particular for his new researches.

(Just the thought sent a shiver down his spine, and Bruce stepped into the zeta tube a little faster than necessary. Was that his oath? On just the thought?)

He could get information on these specific wards too. Cross reference with Zatanna when she was available. Perhaps contact Dr Fate.

The Justice League Dark had their own sections of both reference materials and secured artefacts in various bases around the world.

Studying those should be a sufficient compromise; he wouldn’t reach out to the Infinite Realms directly, not until the Anti-Ecto Acts had been dealt with.

Then they could get in touch with Jason’s mysterious doctor, provided he was willing. Have the dismantling of the acts as a show of good faith.

He’d have to ask Constantine about a sufficient apology too. And mention the acts themselves; somehow there just hadn’t been time today.

Stepping out into the Watchtower, Bruce was maybe just possibly anticipating the magician’s reaction, in a dark way. Let someone else have a bad day for a change.

The poor man had been so upset with the idea that Bruce might ask questions about the realms. The fact that the United States had declared a kill order on all its occupants was not going to go over well.

And all that sass and defensive aggression could be pointed at someone other than Bruce for a while.

Actually? He should wait until Constantine was sitting down. He could add it to his meeting notes, bring it up to the whole League at once.

There would be someone on site if the magician actually fainted.

Or if Bruce’s head actually exploded.

Bruce made a mental note to check their medical supplies and defences, in case there were any unpredictable reactions. He could swing by the infirmary before they got started.

Giving Constantine a quick parting nod, he turned away from the hall and walked quickly towards the infirmary. Just to check in.

Today’s meeting was just the Justice League, with Constantine as the sole representative of JL Dark; Dark’s members all seemed to know about the Infinite Realms and Amity Park already. They didn’t need the briefing.

They’d have to read Bruce’s meeting notes now though. The same ones he was fully aware most members of the League just ignored, considered wasteful paperwork.

They expected to be told directly if something was important. As if he had all the time in the world, and they had no personal responsibility.

The lights thrummed softly as he walked, all the little noises of the satellite’s systems ticking over in perfect order helping Bruce settle into his purpose.

Jason’s report had been thorough, and though Bruce could easily see the bias around his son’s words… in this case it was more than justified.

The wording used to describe Jason and others like him in the acts contained less expletives, but were no better. The veneer of detachment only made the disdain shine through more clearly.

As if his son were beneath contempt. If Jason were to be believed (and Bruce would confirm with Constantine and Shazam) then most of his family were ecto-contaminated.

It was almost nice to have a tangible problem to solve. An enemy he could face and defeat in simple, easy manoeuvres. It was unlikely to be a physical fight, but that hardly mattered.

The delicate machinations of politics were better left to Wonder Woman, Aquaman, damn near anyone but Batman. No, Bruce Wayne was far more influential in that arena.

A little money in the right places, press coverage, a big “himbo with a heart of gold” performance. They weren’t his preferred weapons, but he knew they were effective.

And for Jason, there was nothing at all he wouldn’t do.

Purpose and the time limit combined hastened his step, his cloak billowing around him as he stalked the halls of the Watchtower. The infirmary was empty; always good.

Their stocks were full, and there were three nurses on duty that Bruce had personally selected. He trusted all of them, and none looked worried at his visit.

Batman was well known for overpreparing. It always came in useful.

He was just making his way back towards the meeting hall, feeling markedly better himself with a firm goal in mind, when Superman rounded the corner ahead of him.

The man of steel was heading his way, worry writ large on his face. If he’d heard Bruce’s talk with Harley… actually, if he’d been able to overhear Constantine’s talk with Jason, that would be very useful.

Bruce prepared a few brief words to reassure his friend as succinctly as possible, and get them both moving back towards the meeting. They could actually talk afterwards.

He never got to say them. Superman ignored his little nod of greeting and hurried up to him, standing close enough that they couldn’t be overheard. Blocking Bruce’s path.

A thrum of dread wormed its way back into Bruce’s heart as he looked up into his friend’s earnest, deep blue eyes.

Clark kept his voice low, urgent and concerned as he whispered five words that shattered the world.

“Bruce? I can’t hear Jason’s heart.”

—————————

😈

Now quick, for extra bonus points, who can name what was supposed to happen at some point in the last two chapters and didn’t? This is your chance for a treat from the beginning of the next chapter

Tag List: @welcometosasakiworld @kyrianclawraith @someonebored0100 @stealingyourbones @starkcravingmad @frostedthroughghost @akikkobara @rainbowbunny0159 @littlefeather345 @violet-catsarelife @serasvictoria02 2 @wolfjackle @blacksea21090 @secretdestinywerewolf @anime-hipster-the-amazing @undead-essence @skitscratched @blackroserelina @snoodly-boop @trickerdi @mayoota-blog @xysidhe @idkmrpianoman @little-apricot-the-writer er @chaoticmistake @the-legal-shipper @bun-fish @aroranorth-west @demon-cat-goes-woof @perfectwastelandcreation n @onyxlightdragon @larks-and-katydids @peachesandcreamfemboy @jesus-camp-the-sequel @may-rbi @mothman-the-mothman87 @viyatrix @stargirl1331 @idfk-man10 @thedepressedrobin @skulld3mort-1fan @rootsmudge @ravenshadow17 @cankoking @phantom-dc @mentalcarebear @magic-pincushion @redamancyardor @lyra689 @itsparadoxlacuna a @alcorbearson @asphyxia778 @why-must-i-be-like-this @tkiesai @greenpyrowolf @frivolous-pastel @honeysuckletook

Next chapter!

[writingsbychlo]

you and mitch attending a halloween party, and mitch leaves you alone for one minute and some creepy dude starts hitting on you

You sent this in so long ago but I mean, Mitchtober? Halloween? it had to be saved. this has been in the queue since April.

matching costumes? I think yes. it was Mitch’s idea, too. He knows he locked himself away after everything that happened, and you’ve always been so patient with him. He knew you were different from the second he met you, though, because the small smile he gave you when he politely shook your hand when Stan introduced you was the first one he gave out that wasn’t fake.

After that, it had taken a full year of him coming to terms with the fact that he not only deeply admired you as an agent, but also deeply admired you as a person, (and also that he wanted to fuck you senseless) until he was finally ready to make a move. One that you had been long anticipating, apparently, if that wicked smirk he’d come to know well over the last year was any indication. A year later, Mitch felt like a new man. He smiled, and he laughed, and he loved, when he was with you.

So, when he’d found out that you loved Halloween and were planning to go to a costume party, he’d agreed to go. He was actually thrilled with your costume choice, because it meant he could match you, without having to go all out, and he could surprise you.

He knew the second you both got home that it was going to be a wild night, because when you stepped out into the bedroom after spending an absurd amount of time in front of the bathroom mirror, he throat felt almost as tight as your leather pants must’ve been, and he feigned surprise. “You’re going as ‘Sandy’?”

“Tell me about, stud.” You shot him a wink, pouting your pretty red lips at him and pushing a strip of pink bubblegum between them as you looked over him, not that he had much time to notice because he was checking out the way your ass looked in leather and he was not disappointed. “What did you do to your hair?”

He tilted his head at you, grinning as you still hadn’t caught on, the white t-shirt and black jeans he was wearing doing nothing to give it away, and he could imagine how odd his slicked back hair must look without the final piece. Making his way to the closet, he slipped your pink jacket from its hanger, sneaking the custom made leather one he’d been hiding for two weeks with it, and pulling it over his shoulders as he handed you the final piece for your costume. “Couldn’t exactly let my Sandy go without a Danny, now could I?”

He spun around, finally revealing the ‘T-Birds’ insignia stitched into the fabric carefully, and you gasped happily. “You’re going in costume with me?!”

“Of course. Anything for you, kitten.” He grinned, your arms lacing around his neck as he scooped you up, winking as your legs wrapped around his hips and he swung then from side to side a little as he awkwardly danced around your bedroom. “We’re good at this already.”

The party itself was actually quite fun, he had to admit to that. He’d done three Jell-O shots from syringes, and you had done the same. He had danced with you once, before freeing you up to go and find your friends, all of whom were wearing similar pink jackets, apparently, this had been coordinated.

When you’d eventually migrated your way back to him, your hair had fallen from the tight ringlet curls you’d put it in and were now loose waves, your skin was slightly shiny with a thin layer of sweat from the warmth of the room and your cheeks were flushed from all your dancing. His arms wrapped around your waist, leaning back against the wall as you leant into his chest, humming happily and brushing stray stands of hair from his face as they fell from their slicked position when he looked down at you.

“You kinda’ look like you do when we just finish fucking. Except for your lipstick, I haven’t messed that up yet.” He grinned, pressing a quick peck to your lips as not to smudge it, and you grinned, bumping your nose with his.

“You wanna’ leave? You look lonely over here.”

“No, I’m having some fun. How about, we have another drink and then we go, hm?” You nodded at his offer, and he told you to stay put before he slipped away to make you both a fresh drink.

When he returned, his smile was gone.

There you were, happily waiting for him as you glanced around, politely trying to dismiss the sleazy Batman that had a hand on the wall next to your head and was pressing in closer and closer to you with each step back you took.

He knew you could take care of yourself, and that he had nothing to worry about, but you couldn’t exactly go all CIA superstar on him here, and he should be the only one close enough to you to smell the bubblegum still lingering on your breath.

“Hey, buddy! Thanks for keeping my girl company while I was gone. I think I can take it from here.” He flashed him a menacing smile, tilting his head as he stepped up beside you and the Batman had the audacity to look him up and down.

“Your girl? And what exactly are you supposed to be?” He sneered, Mitch’s face dropping as you giggled, taking a solo cup from his hands and sipping it to stifle your laughs.

“Dude, have you never watched ‘Grease’? It’s really not hard to tell we’re Danny and Sandy.”

His eyes seemed to widen for a second, and Mitch could see the red lining them, and he was sure if he took a sniff, he’d be able to smell the funky scent of bud smoke on him. “I thought you were Harley Quinn!”

“She’s wearing pink and black, Harley Quinn wears red and blue? And booty shorts? What?”

“I don’t know, the red lips and the jacket style! Maybe her ass isn’t good enough for the shorts!” Mitch’s entertainment in the guy’s stupidity slipped away the second he insulted you, and his gaze narrowed as he glared at the man before him.

“Leave. Now.” The Batman raised his hands in surrender, looking around for another woman to talk to as he left, and Mitch turned to you, the arm around your waist sliding down until it was sitting on your ass, fingers tucked into the back pocket as he squeezed lightly. “Your ass is fucking fantastic, for the record. You could absolutely pull of Harley Quinn.”

“Those tiny shorts that look like underwear? Not my thing. If I wore those, that means I’d have to let you walk around wearing a coat and no shirt, and we both know I get way too jealous for that.” He chuckled, sipping his drink and nodding as he pressed a kiss to your temple.

“I’m the only one that gets to see you in your panties, because I like to rip them off of you a second later. I don’t think I could spend a whole night not being able to.” You grinned, your arms looping around his neck as you tossed your emptied cup away and onto the floor.

“You know, these leather pants are really tight. Too tight for panties to be worn underneath.” Mitch groaned, looking down at you as his gaze darkened.

“How about we go home and I rip these off of you instead, then?” He teased, trailing kisses along your jaw before pulling back and finishing his own drink.

“Sounds like a plan.”

[deniigi]

Hey go off about the ships, I'm all here for it. Also thanks for the response!

[readies my baseball bat at a whole line of beehives]

I’m putting it under the cut so that folks don’t have to deal with my very right controversial opinions on their dashboards.

Ships I don’t get and/or make me want to scream and/or triggers my fight or flight instincts:

Stark/Loki (I learned of this this morning and I hate it already)

Coulson/Barton (Just??? Why???? Is this an order/chaos thing?)

St*rker (do NAUGHT interact)

Peter B./Miles (Truly, just fucking unfollow me now.)

Bucky/Stark/Steve  (No. Bucky and Tony would strangle each other with only their wristwatches if left in a room unattended)

Steve/Stark (I literally just had this convo, but I’ll say it again: Tony is way too old for Steve.)

Peter/Harry Osborn (I kind of start to get it, then I think about it and go ‘nevermind.’)

Nat/Bruce (fuck your romance plot. They’re both too awkward.)

Sam/Rhodey (Rhodey is too old and straight-laced for Sam.)

Matt/Karen (I’m sorry. I have tried. But Karen deserves better *cough*cough* mike *cough*cough*)

Darcy/Anyone (I just don’t get Darcy full stop)

Bruce/Tony -- (I see them as friends who you suspect have fucked at least once, but who aren’t actually fucking. Kinda see Bruce as grayace???)

Gwen/Miles (I get it, but to me Gwen is a baby lesbian, so I don’t really see it)

Clint/Kate Bishop (No.)

Matt/Sam Chung (NO. stop pairing mentors with mentees they don’t have to be romantic to have strong relationships CHRIST)

Luke/Danny (see note about Bruce and Tony)

Jessica/Danny (wh??? America, explain.)

Luke/Matt (I am not hostile to this ship, I just don’t see the connection)

IronStrange (I don’t like either of these two as characters so it’s actually really convenient when people put them together for filtering purposes.)

Peter/Harley Keener (Is that how you spell his name??? I don’t know this kid? So I don’t understand how he and Peter have a connection?)

Okay that was a lot of negativity, so I’m going to balance this out with ships I do like!

Spideytorch

Stucky

Steve/Sam/Bucky (and all variants tbh)

Spideypool (but only over 18, y’all pedophiles DONT INTERACT IM SCREAMING)

MattFoggy ❤😎

Matt/Natasha

Matt/Frank (I’m iffy on this, but if pushed I could see it. Mostly sexual, not romantic)

Mike/Karen ❤👏✨🌈

Mike/Foggy (one sided. GET IT, MICHAEL. Try your best, hon)

Matt/Foggy/Karen (you know what? Yes.)

Matt/Kirsten/Foggy (Hello, have you read anything I’ve ever written?)

Kirsten/Karen

Kirsten/Matt/Jennifer Walters

Peter B. Parker/MJ

Peter/Michelle Jones

Wade/Cable (Cablepool thoughts ONLY today friends)

Wade/Vanessa

Tony/Pepper

Rhodey/a peaceful life

Brett/Foggy (hello teen romance, No-Homo’d away 👀)

Shuri/Peter

Bucky/Steve/Peggy

Kate Bishop/America Chavez

Matt/Clint

Peter/Ned/MJ

Peter/Sam Chung

Matt/Elektra

Jessica Jones/Luke Cage

Yeah, I think that’s it for now. But I will also say, anon, that I don’t generally read or consume media for romance. When I’m looking for a fic to read, I want a plot. A ship is okay and I’ll def filter for tags that I don’t really love, but reading fics just for the ship isn’t really something that I often do.

I’m hunting for originality (like a shark, tbh. Once I’ve found a trope I like, I’m putting all three rows of my teeth in it and I’m reading all of those fics until I’ve found the 1-2 that satisfy the bloodlust most effectively.)

I just find that the ships that I don’t like often result in characterizations that I don’t agree with and so I avoid them as part and parcel of that ❤

Hope this helps with the curiosity!

[chekovs-fuckup]

100 Homestuck Headcanons Of Mine

Both Meulin and Nepeta say “hewwo” unironically. They can also replicate the OwO and UwU faces near perfectly.

Roxy loves Five Nights At Freddie’s, Undertale, and Minecraft.

The Striders and Lalondes have a group Minecraft server.

One time Roxy convinced Rose to play Halo with her, Dirk, and Dave. That was when they found out Rose was surprisingly good at it, and Fortnite.

The trolls all love Animal Crossing

Actually, everyone loves Animal Crossing.

The Mayor is the only one who had Raymond. That is because Dave gave him Raymond.

Everyone else wants Raymond.

Vriska stabbed someone for Raymond. She didn’t get Raymond.

The Harley-English-Egbert-Crocker family have a group Minecraft server, and that’s it.

They tend to spend their free time seeing what whacky things they can alchemize.

At one point they managed to alchemize Captain America’s shield. No one is sure how, but it works.

Roxy and Dirk can both eat whole ghost peppers. Rose and Dave both hate spicy food.

Jane doesn’t mind spicy things but prefers sweet stuff instead. John and Jake are fine with a little spice but not as much as Roxy and Dirk. Jade can’t have anything spicy or she will get extremely sick.

Spicy peppers, and peppers in general, are lethal to trolls, due to the capsicum in them. The first time Karkat and Kanaya saw Dirk and Roxy eating peppers they freaked out.

Dirk and Roxy have occasional competitions to see who can eat the most peppers in a minute. It’s hilarious.

Karkat learned the Alternia equivalent of an Earth ukulele before the game. He remembers one song from it and occasionally borrows Jake’s ukulele to play it when he’s sad.

Jake, Jade, Jane, and John have every musical instrument you could name, and some you couldn’t.

Jake can play the ukulele and bagpipes. Jane can play piano and keytar. Alongside bass, Jade can play the trumpet and otamatone. John can play guitar and saxophone.

Dirk can play the otamatone. That’s it.

Roxy keeps requesting that Jade alchemize cats. She has about 30 by now.

Roxy gave Dave a cat. He named him Skittles, and claims it’s completely ironic.

Dirk also has a cat, named Twilight Sparkle

Rose has a cat named Cthulhu.

Jake has a parrot named Indiana Jones

Jade now has a corgi named Thor.

John managed to get Jade to help him alchemize a dragon. It’s name is Fluffernutter.

Jane is a master at anything kitchen-y. Jake and John both burn water. Jade can cook stuff but prefers take out.

Roxy knows how to make grilled cheese and soup really well, and Dirk is good with a grill but that’s it.

Rose makes the best hot chocolate, tea, and coffee. Any drink you want, she can make. She can’t cook anything though.

Alternatively, Kanaya is an excellent cook but thinks that mixing Dr. Pepper, Sprite, and Faygo together is good.

Kanaya has mixed every soda the kids could find together before. Dirk paid John $30 to drink it. John did.

“If you open a banana from the bottom you are a disgrace to the world and we all know you’re a top who can’t find a bottom.”- Rose, Kanaya, Jade, Vriska

“Opening a banana from the bottom lets you have the most banana without eating the weird thing at the end of it”- Dirk, John, Jane, Karkat

“Why bother peeling bananas when you can just eat them whole?”- Jake, Dave, Terezi

One time John used the Mayor’s cuteness to get Jane to bake him a cake. Dave found out and was pissed.

Dave convinced Rose to knit the mayor a sweater.

The mayor loves Doritos. He always gets the last one in the bag.

Kanaya loves mixing different types of one kind of food or drink. She has mixed all the candy in the house, much to the delight of most everyone, has mixed all the soda (it now lives in the back of the fridge for when they play truth or dare) and has mixed all the cereal in the house, much to the irritation of Roxy and Rose.

Dave ate a handful of Kanaya’s cereal mix because Dirk said he wouldn’t.

Has read Twilight: Rose, Roxy

Hasn’t read Twilight: Jade, Jane, John

Doesn’t know what Twilight is: Mayor, Calliope, Karkat, Jake

Hates Twilight: Dave

Vocally anti-twilight but secretly wrote and published a 100k fanfic: Dirk

Can swim: Rose, Roxy, Dirk, Jake, Jade

Can’t swim: John, Calliope, Jane

Hates bodies of water: Dave

Trolls don’t have grey skin, they have grey fur.

Said fur poofs up when the trolls are scared as a defense mechanism, like a cat. But instead of being fluffy, it’s spiky and sharp. Trying to punch a fluffed up troll ends badly.

If you mix Faygo and sopor slime you get the troll equivalent of weed.

Calliope found archery and axe-throwing, and is wonderful at both.

Dave convinced Rose to knit a sweater for the Mayor.

Cereal before milk: Rose, Roxy, Jane

Milk before cereal: Jake, John, Jade

“Just eat the cereal dry, cowards”: Dave, Dirk

Dave had a popular Vine account

Karkat does not understand the term Yeet.

Instead of saying “Yeet” Rose says “defenestrate”

Roxy has a Tumblr account filled with things their group has said.

Kanaya has designed outfits based around pride flags for everyone.

Dave likes Mindless Self Indulgence and My Chemical Romance

Calliope likes Fall Out Boy

John listens to twenty one pilots a lot

Dave also likes cavetown

Kanaya loves girl in red

The beta trolls ancestors can change their size.

The Grand Highblood and the Condesce shifted to a larger size permanently to intimidate other trolls.

Some don’t use it as much, or at all, like the Dolorosa, the Signless, or Neophyte Redglare.

Dualscar uses it to ease travel or to win fights, and will grow to extreme sizes so he can get through the water faster. It’s also ten times easier to sink ships.

The Psiionic couldn’t use the power once he became the Helmsman.

Darkleer uses it to grow smaller, so he can work on the small, delicate parts of his inventions.

Carapacians grow weed as a crop. For them, it’s their main source of food. For humans, it’s weed. It’s poisonous to trolls.

Sea dwellers’ lusii die more frequently (possibly due to the eldritch being at the bottom of the ocean), so they started letting older sea dwellers adopt sea dwellers that aren’t really old enough to survive without a lusus.

How many sweeps a troll is can be equated to human years, but when compared to other blood castes it becomes very skewed. A sweep equals roughly two human years, but different blood castes view this differently. Rust bloods, bronze bloods, and gold bloods all live fairly short lives, so 7 sweeps is roughly half their life span. Lime bloods and jade bloods all view 7 sweeps as being a bit like their early twenties. Teal and cerulean bloods would consider 7 sweeps to be roughly 13 or 14. Cobalt and purple bloods would see 7 sweeps as maybe being 6 or 7. Violet and fuschia bloods live for thousands of years, so legally and when comparing life experience to other fuschia/violet bloods, 7 sweeps is basically a very young toddler. This is just how each caste views age internally, given that they have different lifespans. 7 sweeps is roughly 13 or 14 in human years. This is explained badly but it’s also an alien concept put into English.

Teal and cerulean bloods have the closest lifespan to humans.

Dealing with eldritch beings shortens your lifespan because of the toll it takes on your body. This means that if Rose never reached godtier she would have died earlier than she was supposed to. This also means that if Eridan wasn’t chainsawed in half he probably would have had the lifespan of a purple blood or blueblood.

An ahab crosshairs or whatever can be really deadly in certain situations, but outside of that it’s basically useless.

The one time Dave met Kankri, he decided to put all of Mindless Self Indulgence’s songs on shuffle and play whatever came on first to Kankri. It was ‘Stupid MF’. Kankri flipped his shit and Dave is no longer allowed near him.

Meenah turned it into a game to see who could get the loudest reaction from Kankri by playing an MSI song. So far the winners have been 1. Vriska with ‘Faggot’, 2. Cronus with ‘Bitches’, and 3. Meenah with “Fuck Machine’. Honorable mentions include ‘Get It Up’, ‘Big Poppa’, and ‘Dickface’.

The honorable mentions change constantly

The game is ridiculously easy to win, given that most MSI songs are A) about sex, B) have slurs in them, C) are just really offensive in general, or D) all of the above.

To win the game you record Kankri’s reaction to the song and upload it to a forum on pesterchum.

Kankri is unaware there is a game.

Cronus repeatedly hits on everyone he meets. There are two people who he’s stopped flirting with, though.

The first one is Vriska. The first time he flirted with her she kicked him in the balls. The next time she stabbed him. He stopped trying after that.

The other one is John. He kept comparing Cronus to people from late 20th century movies with greasers in them.

Roxy loves riot grrrl bands.

Roxy, Sollux, John, and Karkat started a coding club. Roxy and Sollux help Karkat and John get better at coding, and also challenge each other to break into more and more ridiculous places.

At one point, using the codes that let Roxy and Dirk talk to Jake and Jane, Roxy and Sollux were able to hack into different government websites in different universes.

This includes the Pentagon, the FBI, and the CIA. They figured out how to get news live from the other universes, so occasionally they invite their friends over and watch a different world panic.

They end up doing internet troll stuff once in the websites. They’ll leave things equating to “aliens from another universe were here” and shit. They’ll make it so every time the website is open the screen turns pink or red and blue.

One time they left a picture of a message in Alternian. When the feds decoded the message, it just said “2ollux and Roxy were here. 2ucker2.”

One time they replaced all the photos of people with badly photoshopped versions of the photos where all the faces had been replaced by either Nic Cage’s face or Danny Devito’s face.

When they aren’t breaking into government websites, Roxy and Sollux will set up firewalls for the other to try and get past.

Aradia and Federico bleached Eridan’s hair while he slept, and cut it short. They also put pink bows on his horns. Just because.

Because Sollux can hear voices of the imminently deceased/is basically half dead, and Aradia has a strong connection to death, they were able to manipulate this so they could communicate telepathically. It takes focus, but they can do it.

Dirk knows Japanese, and can understand Damara. He is the only one who can.

They have inside jokes about everyone they know

Vriska found 5 or 6 doomed versions of herself and brought them back to life. They live in a shared hive and use the fact that they are all various Vriskas to prank people to an extreme. The only one who know whats happening outside of them is Terezi, because A) seer, and B) the one who gave John the list of things to do was brought back as well and told her.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #237

just a warning beforehand this survey has some probably tmi stuff.

Which is better: good 'ole southern food or sea food? Despite coming from and still living in, I legitimately enjoy almost NO southern food. Absolute garbage. I don't enjoy much sea food either though, save for shrimp, so I guess that. Have you ever had a very strong spiritual experience? I dunno. What do you think you want to major in at college? I'm an Art & Design major right now. Minor in? English is my minor currently. What song do you have on repeat lately? Quite a lot, actually. What’s something important you could be doing now? I could be working on finishing the draft to my Writing paper and this week's Art History chapter, but... yeah. I procrastinate all to hell, but I "justify" it with me having SO much extra time in the library while Mom takes her classes that I have a great deal of time to just do everything in there. How do you feel about Circuit City going out of business? I have zero clue what that is. About how often do you go on cleaning sprees? LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL what're those? What’s the best story you’ve gone over in an English class? The Outsiders. Is your house haunted? Don't think so. What kind of tissues do you prefer? At least thicker as a single sheet of wet paper and soft. But ultimately it's nota a big deal. What face wash do you use? I prefer the Biore charcoal scrub, but I've been out of that for like... ever, and it's pricey, so we haven't bought any more. So now I use this peach scrub stuff Mom gets. I don't like it much because it's kinda abrasive, so probably bad for my skin, but it at least makes it feel cleaner. Do you reject Satan? I don't even know if a head demonic entity exists. Got no opinion on him. Are you violent? Far from it. Do you use google search or yahoo? Google. Was your step mother terrible? Her political views are fucking trash, but she herself is a wonderful person. Do you know anyone who doesn’t care about anything but themselves? HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM Are you single? If no who are you dating and for how long? I'm single for now. I don't believe prayer or "good vibes" have any power, but nevertheless, I almost DO pray Sara and I will come back together once she figures herself out and one of us is brave enough to move. Do you enjoy going for walks? Nowadays, no, but only because I'm still recovering from muscle atrophy in my legs, so it hurts quiiite a bit. But in a way, yes, I do enjoy walking as I know it's good for my legs, but it's still painful - but improving immensely. Before it started to get real bad, I fucking loved going on walks down the path by Sara's. When it wasn't cOLD AND WINDY AS A MOTHERFUCKER What are your favorite accessories? Do piercings count? If yes, totally those. And spiked chokers are fucking hot. I'll wear mine again someday, just fkn watch me. Do you wear makeup on a regular basics? Not at all. I am asking for *genuinely* black eye shadow and also quality black lipstick for Christmas, though, for when I do wear makeup. Ours suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. When was the last time you really established your favorite TV show? Oh, idk. It's been years. Write one lyric that really explains the way your life is going as of now? HAHA I'm actually listening to NSP's "Danny Don't You Know" right now and if "you're just going through an awkward phase from 12 to 29" aIN'T ME- Do you ever have any fantasies that involve certain celebrities? Who? Yes. Take an. idk. Wild guess. You can read like one or two of my surveys and already be absolutely sure lmao What is your favorite brand of shoe? Where can you buy these shoes? Converse, and... multiple places?? Does anyone ever judge you for something you naturally cannot help? Oh, I'm sure. Do you support homosexuality in general? Why do you or why don't you? Of fucking course I do. It's natural, and especially after realizing I was bi and experiencing a genuinely loving female-female relationship, I've only grown more ferocious in standing for gay rights. Fuckin try to tell me I can't love her without some sky demon firing me into Hell for it. I'll bring sunscreen. If you had your own personal dance crew, what would you name it and why? I dunno??? Has anyone ever called you an exact replica of one of your parents? Agree? No. Have you ever claimed to be in love when you knew you really weren’t? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I don't joke around with that shit. If you had the chance to meet an annoying celebrity, would you still do it? No?????? Why would I want that??????????? Do you ever lie in the grass during summer or are you afraid of ticks? 1.) That sounds boring and too hot and 2.) I'm fucking terrified of all parasites, so ticks are zero exception. Does it bother you when you see slutty girls getting all the cute guys? *chaotic eye twitching* In winter, would you rather wear jacket or hoodies? Why is this? HOODIES! Mega cozy. Would you consider yourself a good singer or are you tone deaf? Depends on the song, but generally, I don't think I'm real good. My voice isn't stable. Do you think regrets are better left unspoken or should they be out loud? Y'know, a real good question for once. I think maybe... it depends, I guess? Some things are just better unsaid, sometimes vice-versa. I suppose it depends on who you're telling, too. What color is your remote? Does it have any special/interesting features? Uh I know it's black, but that's it. I never use the TV. Name a time when you cried the most: The night of the breakup when Mom drove out to get me (I was walking to his house to talk bc she wouldn't take me), and she had to physically hold me down when we got in the house because I dashed and she knew I was about to do something stupid. I just fucking collapsed. That night is so blurry, but I'll never forget the crying. Fucking NOBODY deserves to go through that goddamn night. What color is your keyboard? It's black, though the keys are rimmed with red light. Have you ever thought about suicide? Too many times. Please please please please seek help if you have even a moment's consideration about it. How do you feel about Obama? I don't know much about him politically, but he was funny as fuck, I do know that. Seems like a chill dude. What was the last lie you told? I dunno, something little. Name 3 things in your purse (or wallet): My Harley Quinn wallet, hand sanitizer, aaaaand my keys. What time does your favorite TV show come on? *shrug* Where is the scariest place you’ve ever been? I haven't been to many seriously "scary" places, honestly... so idk, really. Do you like string cheese? NO. What color was the coolest insect you’ve seen? No clue. Probably some butterfly or moth. Do you own any pink clothing? ... How do I not know this. How do you usually style your hair? It's directed to the right with no part through it and swoops over/close to my right eye. Do you use anything to whiten your teeth? I'm also asking for whitening strips for Christmas. .-. Ah, how gift desires change as you grow. I took awful care of my teeth during the worst of my depression, so yeah, I need them. I'm honestly stunned they're in a decent condition now. Have you ever collaborated with anyone on a project (not for school)? Hmm, don't believe so. What is (going to be) your career? I refuse to drop my career aspiration of a photographer. Not giving up on that no matter what. What is the difference between an alligator and a crocodile? Crocodiles' teeth protrude both upwards and downwards over their lips while alligators' only show downwards; crocs have a more tapering snout, alligators' are more rounded; and crocs are generally bigger. I didn't obsessively watch Animal Planet for nothing, y'all. :^) Were you breastfed as a baby? Yeah. That woman had five goddamn kids with no epidural or anything. She ain't afraid of no pain, and she's also like, MEGA into child health, safety, etc., and while formula-feeding is completely fine and valid, it's factual breast milk is a lot healthier for babies. What does your favorite shirt look like? Man, that's hard to pick. My most comfortable and well-fitting one is a Metallica "King Nothing"-inspired design, which is black and just has some gnarly skull designs 'n shit on it. HA HA WAIT, found it! This is it. Just a few days ago though, my mom's coworker went to the NSP 10th anniversary show in Chicago AND SHE GOT ME A FUCKING SHIRT BC SHE KNOWS I LOVE THEM AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH I SQUEALED SO LOUD AND SMILED MY FACE IN HALF. What is the cutest breed of puppy in your opinion? Do not EVEN with this, omfg I couldn't even try. What is the cutest baby animal in general? Have you, like, SEEN baby meerkats????????????? They're not the cutest for the first, like, two weeks (BUT still cute!!), but once they're outside the burrow? Jesus fuckin CHRIST they are the cutest creatures known to the galaxy and beyond. If we're talkin' like, cutest from birth, maybe cats. I adore kittens. Do you have some sort of odd fascination with anything? Perhaps my "strangest" is what's referred to as "vulture culture," which is essentially using naturally-deceased (usually wild) animals for art, such as those popular crystal-covered skulls, necklaces, creative use of wet specimens, stuff like that. I find some odd beauty and respect in creating art of the dead - it's like... making death beautiful and honoring the creature by immortalizing it in an art form. I personally photograph roadkill (that shit's confused the fuck outta drivers lmao) with the goal of forcing the brutality of it onto viewers and just make you think "okay yeah I need to drive more carefully." I don't know if that technically qualifies as vulture culture as I don't really... use the corpses, but nevertheless, I really enjoy doing it. I do kinda question the morality of it, like you can't ask an animal "hey do you wanna be art when ur dead?", so you're left to decide for it, but I think I lean ever so slightly more towards it being respectful, showing the beauty of its life. I WANT TO SAY HOWEVER, I DO FUCKING NOT support hunting trophies. I even question taxidermy outside of being from hunting considering you're not really making art, something new, some sort of message, out of it. There's no creative purpose other than to show "hey look at this dead animal!!", and besides that, it kinda creeps me out. Wow sorry for the ramble, I'm just into this stuff. Who was the last person to text you? Sara. What did they say? Paraphrased, that life has been a serious cunt to her lately. Which is true. have you ever broken someones heart? He fuckin acted like it after two goddamn weeks. I suppose maybe Jason, though I can't really tell you that since he fucked off after the breakup, so it's not like I was around him. I'll admit his health and general demeanor was withering as time led up to it (I knew something was wrong, he'd just never tell me), so he was obviously suffering. I feel awful for that shit, seeing I was apparently that goddamn stress-inducing. Had yours broken? LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO I think the whole Internet knows, oops. Do you consider past relationships a waste of time? No. Well, maybe just one. I kinda wanna say Tyler was, but then again, as I was healing, it showed exactly what I would not tolerate. So I guess it had a silver lining. Do you think you’ll be around to see the world end? I wanna say no, but I wouldn't be surprised. It's gonna be climate change (reason #1 for me), the super volcano finally blowing, or nuclear war. Scientifically, we are far, far, far from overdue for another mass extinction anyway. Do you believe in second chances? Yeah, sometimes. Depends. Do you swear? Way more than needed. Swearing a lot just became part of my normal vernacular through exposure to Jason and his family lmao. I was just about always there, and whew does his mom swear like a sailor. Italian New Yorker to the core. To me, "swear words" are just normal vocabulary. What is the nearest photo to you of? A family of meerkats on my wall. Are you good at being quiet? Sure? Who has your heart? I'm guessing you mean romantically? Two people are tearing at it, then. One that's fuckin stupid and needs to stop. Do you like it that way? No. No. Sara is, realistically, the best match for me and a very healthy partner for me. But now that for whatever goddamn reason Jason sneaked back into the picture (metaphorically; he hasn't reached out or anything), hints of obsession/addiction are coming back. I know it's fucking creepy, but I was legitimately obsessed with him. I sent him a perfectly polite and genuine email of ME apologizing to HIM, and I guess that just shot my feelings back up. God, typing this makes me realize to a fuller degree that this is an awful idea. Where is this person? Sara's probably at home; hell if I know where the other is. When was the last time you saw them? I saw Sara this past February. Jason, not since February of '17. Do you prefer desktops or laptops? Laptops because of portability. Sunrise, or sunset? I think maybe sunrise, considering the colors tend to be more pastel. But both are gorgeous. What kind of mood are you in? A confused as hell one. The Jason thing is driving me insane, and TMI WARNING I've been dealing with a fucking ginormous libido that I'm guessing sprouts from my new birth control, and it led me to doing to thing I said I'd never ever do because I only want to share that experience with my partner. Y'know, the "m" word. Saying it feels too weird and dirty. That's the problem: it's so instilled in my head that masturbation is lustful and just "wrong" that my brain is still trying to process that it's okay and natural and, as I found, relieving. I had to look it up and everything to convince my shameful ass I wasn't being "dirty." Hey, on that note: Planned Parenthood offers way goddamn more than abortion, friends. I swear it's beyond wild what I used to believe. But yeah ANYWAY, I'm just feeling weird and still kinda "tail between my legs" today. Do you like fans that blow directly on you or oscillate? Depends on how hot I am. What is one thing you worry about most in long-term goals? "not having enough money to get there.." <<<< YUP this. Right before you fall asleep, what is your usual position? It's hard to tell considering you're falling into unconsciousness... but I THINK on my left side, hugging an edge of the blanket to me. When you have sex, do you keep your eyes closed or open when finishing? I wouldn't know; I've only ever been on the brim before freaking out and we stopped because I was literally scared of how overwhelming the feeling was. That and my family was home and I was having trouble staying quiet lmao. When you have mail do you open the biggest one first, or doesn’t matter? Uhhhh. I honestly don't get mail enough to answer this. I'd probably go for the smallest? When you wake up what is the first thing you usually look for? My phone. Think of the last habit/addiction you quit. What replaced it? Hm. I really don't know. Your phone rings but you don’t know the number, would you answer it? No sir-ree. Do you always take a shower after you have sex? I didn't always back then. Do you let your girl/boyfriend drive, or do you prefer to? 1.) I don't drive and 2.) I'm single. The last time you had sex was it in the morning, afternoon or night? Hell if I remember.