#. i really went into this thinking this was more complex than it was. but ah well i had fun LOL

[wolfieolfie]

cringetober day 3: complex fit!!!

see the og under cut 👍

psst if you see this my commissions r open. link in content source

[absolutebl]

10 BLs That Shook Me

@trribledelight asked for "BLs that made you think or learn smthg or shook you culturally? Eg the political considerations in Not Me..."

Let's get the rough ones out of the way first, shall we?

1 2gether

Green. One of the most egregious reps for punching down humor against femmes in BL (and there sure are a lot out there). Seriously GMMTV? Must you?

At the time we all watched this because there wasn't anything else to watch, and it's been a long time since I bothered with a rewatch, but Green is one of the reasons I just can't with this series.

I'm not knocking the actor, but the character and how the other characters behave around him, and the director with regard to this aspect of the plot and portrayal was rough going.

What shook me was how casually homophobic 2g was. It was just so odd to watch a gay romance gloss over and degrade queerness. I was like, wait, aren't they supposed to me on our side?

(Ah, the before times.)

2 Fish Upon the Sky

Shall we address the head wrap in the room? This BL has some of the most shockingly racist content I've seen in a long time. Also punching down humor. I fast forwarded through it and I still don't want to think about it. GMMTV should be throughly ashamed of themselves... Again. I was shook, but in a bad way.

Okay, now for the ones that shook me in a good way.

3 Until We Meet Again

I watched this early in my Thai BL journey (while it was airing) and I had no idea what to expect. Frankly, you could watch it now and still not know. It's just very unusual for a Thai BL.

The plot twist about how they each ended up reborn. Just so brilliant. I still can't get over it. So simple. SO CLEVER. So punishing for the families.

Fantastic!

4 Secret Crush On You

This one kinda shook me all along but that Daisy & Touch scene. It lives on in my head rent free forever. Just because it was so beautifully sweet and genuine and kindly towards a femme character.

I still don't like this BL.

But I love that scene in it.

5 My Beautiful Man

I went on a JOURNEY with this show. Mostly because I didn't think Japan had it in them to land something this complex. But they managed it beautifully by not shying away from the delicious messy ugliness of it all.

Possibly the greatest final episode in all BL.

And from Japan. Usually so bad at endings.

I remain gobsmacked.

6 Unknown

I shouldn't have been shooketh by this one but I really was.

The style of it while staying so down home and gritty.

How old school Chinese BL it felt yet it still managed to be very modern BL about it.

The execution and quality of the acting.

How it was aired (available in YouTube?! we NEVER get that from Taiwan!)

Also the pair branding. We haven't gotten this level of pair brand from the leads in a Taiwanese BL since SamYu.

I'm was absolutely riveted by everything about this show and its production.

I loved seeing it. I hope we get more BLs like this from Taiwan as a result.

But I ALSO hope they realize that a big factor in the popularity and the success of this show was in distribution.

It's what's for dinner.

Along with the stepbrother trope.

KOREA'S SUPRISES

I watch a lot of Kdramas as well as BL, and have done for a really long time. I'm riveted by Hallyu, from an entertainment industry perspective (what I wouldn't do to get my hands on some of their proprietary data). I also listen to a ton of Kpop.

Therefore, Korea dominates the P'ABL gets shooketh list because I had (and have) more expectations firmly in place around Korea's media product sfyle than anyone elses. Even before they started to make a big play into the BL scene.

My favorite BLs from Korea, like Semantic Error and Light on Me are EXACTLY what I expect from them, manufactured perfection. But I was also shook more times by Korea than other BL nations because I had such rigid expectations.

7 Color Rush

Yeah yeah. But it starred an idol. It started out pretty and stiff and everything I was expecting and then the concept hit me up side the head and I never recovered from the CLEVER of this show. I'm not used to my Kdramas or my BL being this high concept and SMART about their sanitized perfection.

8 Blueming

What with the 8th Sense and others since, Blueming seems to have been somewhat forgotten about. But at the time, I was shook by the down home grit of this show. By the actual pain from the characters. By the higher heat concept. By Korea actually going THERE.

And then these babies came along...

9 The 8th Sense

I just didn't think Korea had it in them. Yes, I realize now that it was a bit navel gazey, and we were weighted heavily towards the seme and his pain. I would have liked a better balance between the leads, but that's in retrospect.

At the time I couldn't believe it. A KBL dealing with mental health?

And can we talk about those sex scenes? How insanely comfortable the actors were with each other? How easy in each other's personal space? I've not seen anything else quite like that from Korea. It's super rare. I had assumed they, culturally, just didn't do casual intimacy, or if they did, it wasn't allowed on screen.

Of course now I know the CAN do it, I want more.

10 Love for Love's Sake

Okay, lots to unpack with this one. A genuine isakai BL, in the original sense of the term. The death twist didn't shake me up, but the execution, acting, open gayness, and a couple other things did. Enough to make me still think on this show with fond surprise and affection, despite its undercurrent of darkness.

I like to be shooketh.

(source)

[laurentdirosetti]

"Support character" [part 2]

{Idia Shroud x gn/MC}

Tags: playing videogames together, competitive, bet, smut...

Idia’s room was just like you imagined it would be, an otaku’s room —books scattered on the floor, open boxes in every corner, merchandising from different animes and games, posters on the walls… Also, the air in the room is really heavy, why is it so hot in here? Is it because of the computer or- 

MC: ARE YOU ALRIGHT? 

His hair was bright red, redder than when we were in the storage room, and not only the color was hot red, but the temperature too. 

Idia: so-sorry, this is the first time a girl has entered my room (anyone other than Ortho or me for that matter).

That was the issue, haha… now I’m nervous too. I should do something to break the ice in this situation, or rather cooler the temperature. I think I recognised one of his figurines on that shelf… 

MC: Isn’t that Ruri-chan from “The Magical Ruri Hana: Demon Girl”?

I was staring right at Ruri-chan when I asked him, so it was a surprise when I turned around to look at his face and saw his expression. For a few seconds the time stopped and he gave me a death stare. Why is he so scary all of a sudden? Did I mispronounce her name? Impossible, I’ve been watching that series since I came to this world, mostly because it was the only serotonin I could find after nearly dying over a kid’s tantrum. 

Idia: you know Ruri-chan?

Maybe because you were nearly as introverted as Idia or because you were nervous, the only answer you could find to his suddenly cold attitude was that this was the beginning of the typical “man interrogation over a common interest to prove your authenticity as a fan”. So before he could start making you questions about the show, you blow out all the lore of the series. 

Idia’s face was as rigid as a rock until you finished your monologue on Ruri-chan’s journey. You stopped talking to catch a breath when he grabbed you by the shoulders and suddenly snapped.

Idia:  ARE YOU TELLING ME THERE WAS ANOTHER OTAKU IN THE ACADEMY AND I DISCOVER IT NOW? Why did it take you so long to talk to me? How is it possible that I didn’t know about this before? I mean, I have control over all the technology and internet connection here. I should’ve been notified if a student was watching anime, how is it possible I didn’t know about you till now? What did you do? What kind of firewall did you use?

MC: I just watched it on Ramshackle’s TV…

Idia: ah… that explains everything, that TV probably doesn’t even have an HDMI port, let alone Internet… 

MC: Idia… my shoulders are starting to hurt.

He sure is strong, it's hard to tell by those baggy clothes he's always wearing. He instantly opened his hands to let me go as soon as he heard me. He looked troubled he might have hurted me. 

MC: don’t worry, I may not have “mana”, but my HP is full.

He couldn’t help but smile at my dumb -almost cringe- comparison. I think my “break the ice” mission was successful. Idia is very expressive, he snapped from nervous, to surprised, to confused, to happy in the the blink of an eye. I wish he stopped using that floating tablet of his to attend classes so I could see more of his expressions. 

As soon as he released me he went to pick something from his wardrobe, a pair of controls apparently. The controls in my world were less complex than this ones. Idia handed me one of them and I began to study the buttons. It would be a lie to tell I knew how to grab it, clown music is playing inside my head. I wanted to play videogames with him, but truth be told I don’t have money to fix Rammshackle’s sink let alone buy a videogame or a console. 

Idia saw my troubled grin and step towards me, shadowing my entire persona. 

Idia: Is there a problem? You don’t like the color or something? Is it the brand?

MC: well, you see, the thing is… 

This is gonna be so embarassing. First, I ran into problems trying to defend him against nothing, cause he wasn’t even hearing those jerks. Second, I made him hide with me in the storage room and now I have to tell him I wanted to play videogames with him but didn’t even think about the possibility of the controls being different from my world. Defeated, I lower my head to evade his soon to be inquisitive gaze. 

MC: …I don’t know how to use these controls, they are different from the ones in my world.

Silence was so loud I couldn’t take it anymore and looked up. He was trying so hard not to burst out laughing at me his cheeks were red and his jaw was so tense I could see his neck muscles contracting. Finally, he let out a little pfft and grabbed his mouth and chin with his hand, pressing his cheek with his index.

Idia: I’m sorry but, you went through all that trouble to play together and you don’t even know how? Cute.

Lucky for me I don’t have magical hair that turns red when I'm flustered, but I’m sure it’s not hard to guess just by looking at my face. 

Idia: don’t worry, guess I’ll have to teach you as I did with my little brother, come here.

He sat on a visible comfortable plush sofa, big enough for him to open his leg and ask me to sit between them. Funny, when we were in the storage room he was so nervous and now he openly asks me to sit on top of him, hasn’t he noticed?

Dumbfounded, I did as he requested and sat on the gap between his thighs, creating a space between us as a way to surpass the embarrassment. Unfazed, he glued his chest to my back and slipped his hands around my body. As if I was walking on thin ice, I slowly rested my arms on top of his. Then he moved his hands on top of mine on the controller, guiding my fingers on top of the buttons. My ears were bright red as I could feel his breathing chilling my neck, whispering a slow pace explanation on how to use the controller. His fingers moved mine slowly over the buttons, his hair fell as a cascade over my shoulders sliding between my legs. I don’t know what is happening and I would swear neither does he. He’s so focused on explaining the lore of the game and controls he hasn’t realized the hot mess he got cuddled beneath him.

Idia: Did you get that?

He asked, suddenly making me snap out of my cloud. Even though it was difficult, for many reasons, I caught a glimpse of his monologue while trying to survive my ocean of hormones. 

MC: Well… It seems quite complicated to be honest. Maybe I can understand it better once I play the game. 

Idia: Great, let’s play. I’ll connect the other controller so we can multi-play this. 

The controller was right next to us, already plunged, so he didn’t move an inch and his arm were still surrounding me. The soundtrack of the game started playing and far too late I realized he meant to play in this position, basically cuddling each other, with our arms tangled, his body temperature on me and his breathing on my neck. We haven’t even started, but I can tell I already lost. 

Unfortunately for him, after playing for nearly an hour, I tried my best to give him a hard time beating me. I lost all the matches anyway, but at least I could hear his groans all along, echoing in my ears. 

Idia: SO much for being a snob, you are tougher than you look. But rest assured, I would never let a newbie beat me at my favorite game. Ortho has tried many times and I should give him a pass -you know the whole “Idia let your little brother win once”- but as a weeb I have a reputation yk. 

That smirk on his face… he’s sure full of himself. I have almost grasped the dynamics of this game, maybe I could beat him. I’m a pretty competitive person and that arrogance only ignites something dark in me, something stupid. 

MC: I bet I can ruin that reputation of yours in our next round.

Idia: Are YOU implying YOU can win? LMFAO, if delulu was a sport you'd have a gold medal. If you beat me on this round I’ll be your chair or whatever -not that it’s even a possibility.

MC: Do you mean I can ask you anything if I win? It’s this one of those anime situations in which the winner can order the loser around the whole day? 

Idia: Yeah, that kind of shoujo stuff. Afraid?

MC: Mmn… Well, you’re already quite the comfortable chair.

That came out of nowhere, but I decided to keep my cool and rested my weight on his chest even more, looking up at his melted honey eyes now widening from sudden embarrassment. His peachy cheeks are so cute. Plan complete: this may be considered cheating but the only way to win is to distract him and by the discontrolled beating of his heart reverberating on my back I can tell it already worked. 

We began playing, in the game we were two characters fighting each other in a 2D horizontal landscape. I didn’t learn all the combos, but I mastered the parries and evasions, so it was nearly impossible for him to even scratch me. He was focused on attacking while I was determined on defending, a never ending match it seemed.  In real life it was the other way around, I continued non-stop “attacking” him while he tried his best to “defend” himself. Each time I evaded one of his attacks my butt moved against his lower body. From the corner of my eye I enjoyed his leg contraction at every “unintended” pound I gave him. After almost an hour of playing him, and the game, his breath was a mess, he was trembling all over and his dick was rock hard between my ass cheeks. My intention was to win the game, but I’m not quite disappointed with the actual development of the situation. I could take this as a win already.

Then I felt a thrust, his body rested on top of mine and I swear I can almost tell his longitude just by the pressure on my lower back. He snapped, his fingers were moving so fast on the buttons I had to make an effort to see them, he left me no chance to defend myself neither in the game or reality. As my character fell to the ground completely defeated, my head stumped on the floor as his hands pressed my shoulders to the ground.

Face to face, among the darkness of his room I could only differentiate two golden orbs and his face lightly illuminated by the gentle blue of his hair. 

Idia: I won.

My whole belly was on the palm of his hand as he slowly lifted my shirt all the way up, until he grabbed my neck under the clothes. 

MC: Wh-what are you doing?

Idia: I won, so the loser must do whatever the winner demands, right?

MC: Bu-but you haven’t say anything yet.

Idia: Oh, then I want the loser to fix my joystick. 

What? Oh…

As I stupidly tried to understand that I noticed his hard-on pressuring my lower belly, near to my intimacy. 

Idia: you see, a certain snob player broke it mid-play. Any idea on how to fix it?

He completely snapped, I almost can’t recognize him. Where is the shy boy I was messing with? The situation has escalated more than I would have imagined, but this doesn’t put me off in the slightest. Seeing Idia all hot and bothered surely is rare enough and I want to push that dominant side of him a bit more.

MC: maybe… It just needs some cleaning?

I questioned opening my mouth and letting out my tongue. His sigh was filled with excitement and anticipation, I could catch him bitting his lips for a moment.

He moved his knees to the sides of my head and lowered his zip and trousers. My eyes, now more used to the low illumination of the room, enjoyed the view of his thighs, pale as porcelain. He looks so fragile and slim, or that was my line of thinking until he uncovered his dick. Hard, veiny and leaking precum on top of my forehead; the length was the size of my face. This was going to hurt.

I accepted my destiny and kept my mouth open for him to enter mercilessly. But, that wasn’t the case. At a slow pace he started going down on my mouth, he filled my cavity with just the tip and almost the middle of his length. Then, he took my chin in his hand and caressed my cheek, pressing it on his dick and slowly massaging it from outside. I didn’t know what to do with my tongue so I tried to lick his dick and press it more against my cheek. His eyes glittered from a moment and he let out a soft chuckle. 

Idia: seems you’re really eager to clean it, babe. But this much won’t do I’m afraid, you need to get it all wet enough.

Instantly, he continued letting down his hips  until all his dick was in my mouth and throat. He was so deep in me my lower lip was touching his balls. Strange enough, this wasn’t as painful as I imagined it to be, I wonder how can my throat be twitching around him and I’m so calm? Maybe, his sweet expressions are keeping me from gagging. His mouth is a little open, from this angle I can only see his tongue moving above his pointy teeth. His eyes are locked in my throat, probably a bulge has formed, his fault after all. He’s been so long in this position I could possibly draw his dick by having it inside me. 

When I thought he would start moving, his balls twitched against my lip and his cum flooded my mouth non-stop. When he released everything in me he fastly got up, letting me catch a breath. He cumed so much there were lines of cum running down my cheeks to the ground. I coughed a little after drinking all.

When I sat on the floor and looked up I could feel his gaze contemplating my whole display, heavy breathing and a surprised expression.

MC: that was fast. 

Idia: I endured playing in hard mode, literally, a few minutes ago. Thank me I didn't finish by just seeing your ahegao face. Also …you didn’t need to drink that.

MC: I told you I would clean it. 

Idia: quite the awful job, It's all sticky and twitching, maybe you can clean it better down here…

To be continued...

Part 1

[loveinhawkins]

Steve heads outside at about 10pm, hoping that the frigid night air will wake him up a bit. He’s conscious of the fact that he’s hardly been in the party spirit, trying and failing to stifle a yawn behind the lone bottle of beer he’d sipped at before abandoning it on Robin’s kitchen counter.

It’s less a New Year’s Eve party, he thinks, and more a relieved exhale. An I’m glad we’re all here kind of party.

There’s a swing bench out on the porch, and once he sits down, he kicks the whole thing back with his feet, the movement sending more fresh air his way. It turns his forearms to gooseflesh but does little to banish the drowsiness, as if it’s somehow been waiting all year to be felt…

“Hey,” comes a voice, and Steve startles back to awareness; Eddie is suddenly sitting down beside him. “Thought you’d absconded, Harrington.”

Steve smiles at the word—“You talk like you’re in a book, dude,” he’d teased earlier that evening, when Eddie and Robin were taking exaggerated swills of boxed wine, pretending to be sommeliers. Eddie had adopted a plummy accent, went on about “heady aromas” and “full bodied complexity” until Robin snorted wine out of her nose.

“Ah, Steve, Steve, Steve,” Eddie had said in delight, “that’s part of the fun, darling.”

And it was still delivered in that stupid accent, all part of the game, but it didn’t stop Steve from feeling a glow in his chest that had little to do with the wine they ‘sampled.’

Now Eddie’s voice is back to normal, if a little softer than usual, like he doesn’t want to disturb the stillness out here. “Thought I was gonna have to look for a glass slipper or something,” he goes on, and it takes a moment for Steve, lulled by the gentle cadence of Eddie’s words, to get the reference.

When he does, he snorts. “Bit early for that. But at this rate…” And he yawns again as he speaks, aiming for a self-deprecating shrug. “At this rate, I’m sorta doubting I’ll make it ‘til midnight.”

He’s expecting Eddie to lean into the teasing, call him ancient. But instead he just looks over with a fond smile and says, “I’m not surprised, man.”

Steve scoffs. “It’s not like I’ve really done anything.”

Eddie raises an eyebrow. “Seriously?”

Steve gives another shrug. “It’s the holidays, dude, not exactly taxing.”

“Nah, that’s not…” Eddie shakes his head slightly. “You can’t see it, huh?”

“Can’t see what?”

There’s a moment where Eddie just considers him. “Steve Harrington,” he drawls, almost like it’s a little song, like Steve is the one who’s a character in a book. Like he’s someone admirable. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you, like, stop even once. And at first I thought…” He tilts a little closer on the swing, making it creak. “Like, ‘oh, that’s just how he is when the world’s ending’, right? But no. You’re like that all the damn time.”

Steve is far too tired to work out what ‘like that’ even means. He chuckles quietly, rubs at one of his eyes. “And, what, I can’t even keep going to see in the new year?”

“Eh, time’s a construct.”

“Oh, shut the fuck up,” Steve says with absolutely no bite to it. “Midnight countdown is the one time when it matters.”

“Well.” Eddie nods his head as if to say fair point. “We could time travel.”

Steve smirks. “Oh, yeah? You park the DeLorean somewhere?”

Eddie grins. “Nope. It’s—” He stops, smile fading just at the corners, like he’s suddenly a little shy. “Okay, it’s kinda stupid. Like a family thing, I guess.”

“Lucky for you that I like stupid,” Steve says lightly—doesn’t really know how to say that he secretly loves hearing about quirky family traditions, sometimes feels like he can live vicariously through them.

(The last New Year’s Eve he’d spent with his parents had been in New York, and when they were getting a cab back to the hotel, his mom had said that he couldn’t fall asleep because they were sharing the ride with some business partners; it would be embarrassing. He’d spent the journey pressing his forehead against the cold condensation on the car window, fighting sleep.)

“So,” Eddie says, “every year since I was, like,” he gestures with his hand comically low, nearly touching the ground, “Wayne always let me stay up for New Year’s, and it blew my tiny mind ‘cause I was never tired. At all. And then, I think I was, what, ten…? Something like that. And I figured it out.”

“What?”

Eddie leans forward conspiratorially. “Sneaky bastard wound all the clocks forward.”

Steve laughs and laughs. “I love your uncle.”

Eddie rolls his eyes but he’s smiling. “Yeah, yeah, he’s something else.” Then he softens. “We did it tonight, before I came here. Early midnight countdown.”

And there’s a weight to that, like Eddie can hardly believe that he got to be there, to see the tradition continue.

Then Eddie blinks, and the heaviness is gone. “How about it, Harrington?” He pushes back his shirt to reveal his wristwatch. “Wanna try it?”

Steve smiles. “Sure.”

And he watches as Eddie fiddles with the watch until it reads as being a minute before midnight; and it’s silly, he knows they're not really time travelling, but he can’t help feeling that there’s some magic involved anyway. Like there’s suddenly a little pocket of the world that’s just their own.

They count down from 10, and then Eddie does a hushed imitation of fireworks going off, which makes Steve laugh again.

“Hey, Eddie,” he says. “Happy New Year.”

And suddenly it sounds like more than that—sounds like we made it and we’re safe.

Maybe Eddie hears all that, too, because there’s a sheen to his eyes that can’t entirely be blamed on the Christmas lights. “Yeah. Happy New Year, Steve.”

They stay put in comfortable silence. Eddie starts to rock the swing slowly with one foot, back and forth, and Steve knows that he doesn’t even realise he’s doing it—probably is hearing a song in his head that he can’t help but follow the rhythm.

And at some point Steve finds that he’s catching himself on the brink of dozing, then pulling back. His eyelids keep…

The softest laugh, somewhere very close. “Oh, Steve,” Eddie sighs, and Steve can hear him smiling, can hear the fondness shining through. “There you go, big guy.”

And his head is tilting down, down onto Eddie’s warm shoulder.

“Glad you’re here,” Steve just about manages to say.

Through a dreamy haze, he feels a hand brush across his forehead; an arm around him, so he doesn’t fall. “Ah, sweetheart. So glad you’re here, too, you’ve got no idea.”

And then he’s melting into sleep, right through the gentlest turning of the page from one year into the next.

[oikoraart]

I might explode if I don't share this, so here goes an unhinged rant/theory that has to do with the Book of Bill. brace yourself!!

ALRIGHT SO background: yesterday I read a post talking about Silas Birchtree being one of the best iterations of "Bill using a human body as a flesh puppet" (agreed), and somewhere (I can't recall if it was op or a comment I'm sorry) there was this joke about Bill having a thing for people with tree surnames. and I was like haha funny yeah, and then moved on with my day.

but NOW IT HIT ME.

IT'S NOT SIMPLY TREES, OR LIKE, ANY KIND OF TREE.

HE FIRST WENT FOR A GUY WITH THE SURNAME BIRCHTREE. BIRCH. YOU KNOW, THAT WHITE TREE THAT LOOKS LIKE IT HAS EYES ALL OVER???

AND THEN, OH THEN HE WENT FOR PINES. A PRETTY TRIANGULAR-LOOKING TREE IF YOU ASK ME.

AND- OKAY I'M PROBABLY JUST REACHING HERE BUT HEAR ME OUT.

DOES HE,, DOES HE HAVE SOME SORT OF STRONGER INFLUENCE/PULL TOWARDS THINGS THAT SOMEWHAT RELATE TO HIM?? (not really sure why he'd go for trees* twice but- TRIANGLES, EYE(S), BILLS?, CIPHERS)

AND YOU MIGHT BE THINKING "nah he's just that badly egotistical, he picks like that on purpose" AND AT FIRST I WAS ALSO GOING TO JUST SIT WITH THAT CONCLUSION (and not write this post) BUT LIKE ACTUALLY NO THAT'S NOT IT.

BECAUSE alright let's say for the sake of argument that Bill could've had anyone else with a big brain and self-esteem issues construct his portal (debatable) and he just happened to choose Ford because "ehehe surname relating to me and birth defect too"...

BUT HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN SILAS???

THE GUY JUST RANDOMLY DIED. HE CHOKED ON A COIN THAT HE TOSSED AFTER FAILING TO MAKE BUSINESS IN THAT TOWN. JUST THEN DID BILL KICK HIS LITTLE CULT-FOR-PORTAL-CONSTRUCTION PLAN INTO MOTION, WHICH, NO MATTER HOW YOU LOOK AT IT, WAS DESTINED TO FAIL FROM THAT CHOICE ALONE.

HERE it is WAY harder to make the argument that he could've picked anyone from the town because, unless he was planning to fail on purpose, why would he choose a rotting body as a host?? it makes no sense: it puts a time limit to get it all done before the body is completely useless. it doesn't make any sense unless that was his only option. maybe he was already planning on entering the guy's dreams but then he just dropped dead and Bill went "ah shit. well, time to work with what we have, I guess!"

SO! in short, I believe that whoever Bill uses as his puppet/anchor to this world has to meet the requirement of somehow relating to him (his imagery and/or motifs), not just out of preference, but because it's a must, some sort of limitation or arbitrary rule that he has to follow, for him to be able to get to you.

...and personally I think that THAT'S SO COOL AND INTERESTING OMG MR. HIRSCH YOU ARE SUCH A BIG BRAINED MAN-

SO YEAH. I might be going a little insane. perhaps. cheers to that!!

now I have to figure out how/if this rule checks out with Alex Hirsch himself because (canonically? I think?) Bill has controlled him before and (iirc) is implied to still be tethered to him in some way

*the only explanation I can think of for trees would be the fact that [tree -> three -> triangle] but like idk that might be too far. or maybe that's precisely why he can only go for things related to specific trees, like [birch = tree + eyes] and then [pines = tree + triangular shape]. maybe the rule is even more complex than I first thought... hmmm

[skrrts]

Heart's Contradiction Series * Hongjoong (mature!)

✧ gn!reader x hongjoong ✧ reader is a human ; hongjoong is a demon ✧ feat. wooyoung & seonghwa ✧ genre: au, soulmates, villains, romance, angst, emotional, comfort, supernatural ✧ word count: 12,9k ✧ warnings: adult language, death (non graphic) & rebirth, losing something important to you, loneliness, sadness, bittersweet, mdni!

in a world where finding your soulmate is everyone's highest goal, there is more at stake than just finding love. your soulmate is meant to change your life forever, for better or worse. what will you do when, after searching for so long, you come to realize that your soulmate is seen as the villain in somebody else's story, maybe even your own? the legend about the demon who tears lovers apart is as old as the soulmate bond itself, those who cannot endure living without their other half any longer call for him and in exchange for half of their lifetime, are united with their one right away until the monster returns to collect his price. when you heard noises on the second floor of your apartment complex, you didn't really think it through. the moment you pushed the door open and your gazes met, it was over. you know it's him, not because of the red string only visible to you but because soulmates are made of one soul and for the first time, you are sure to meet a pair of eyes that match your loneliness. time is a strange thing, you waited for something for so long, but as always, it's slipping right through your fingers. again.

a/n: this was meant to be the closing piece of the series due to the topics it covers but it ended up working easier for me to write. joong is the villain in the story of soulmates who give in to their longing to find them for a price. please make sure to read the warnings. if you decide to give it a read, thanks a lot 🤎

You made a face when Wooyoung placed the cake in your hands so he could lighten the candles. The topping said ‘Happy You Day’, fitting for somebody who did not like to celebrate their own birthday and your friend respected it by not using that word to decorate it. After years, he figured out you’d accept the cake but not much more. Birthdays just never mattered to you, not only because no family was there to celebrate it with you but you failed to see why one should only celebrate life on one specific day. It was even worse if one believed that soulmates really used to be one soul split into two on that day, even if they only were separated to finally be reunited.

“Make a wish,” Wooyoung smiled and you sighed a little but closed your eyes. What should you wish for? Your life wasn’t too bad, really. You were used to being alone, doing everything by your own efforts but also interests. From your childhood up to this point, you simply got used to that. You had friends, especially Wooyoung, but when you went home after a long day, that was it.

Unlike the entire world, you weren’t looking for your soulmate. There was not one way that worked for each to find them, fate was the asshole to decide over it, so why should you freak out about it? You were tired of the daily acts of desperation in the news: people who commited crimes to be with their soulmates, those who lost all will to live because theirs died or scammers promising to find it for you.

For Wooyoung to always be happy! It seemed like a good wish! You blew out the candles and watched Wooyoung with his cute, little claps and smile. He really was a great friend and you felt bad for being all grumpy about it. “Thank you for the cake, they get prettier every year,” you winked and he rubbed a hand over the back of his neck.

“I am working on it! Ah, I am sorry I cannot stay around this year to eat it with you, and that we are doing this on the street literally,” he sighed, looking at the watch. 

“Nonsense! You will absolutely get the job, this is my birthday after all and with this, I shall give you the power to fullfil your dreams!” You insisted and he was looking at you with a small smile.

“You really are amazing, Y/N. You know, I won’t ever stop admiring you… Hey, let’s meet on Tuesday and we cook together, okay?” You nodded and Wooyoung turned around, waving before he finally went out of sight and you sighed, lifting the cake up a little higher: “Now, what do we do with you? I won’t ever be able to eat all of you by my own until you can’t even survive in the fridge anymore.”

With some skill, you managed to get the cake safely back into your small apartment, placing it in the fridge for later before kicking off your shoes and leaving your bag and jacket by the door. It was Friday, this was probably the best of all birthday gifts because like that you could dodge most of your co-workers with their unserious wishes. 

You grabbed an energy drink, deciding to make use of it and binge-watch a show all night when you fell onto the couch. Upon searching for the remote, you leaned over to see if it fell into one of the cardboard boxes. It had been a few months since you moved in but there just were some you had no reason to unbox, memories of a time gone, unsure why you kept them. 

As you pulled out the remote, your eyes fell on a silly book. You picked it up and brushed over the dusty cover. Humans always loved to scare their children from doing something naughty with stories. The book was about an evil monster, one that came and promised you to find your soulmate but for that, you’d lose something else important to you, so if you saw him, you were meant to rush out of the room, close the door and repeat for him to go away. 

“Tch, considering how soulmates exist, who can blame some for believing this exists too.” 

It was an old story, one ironically everyone knew. It said if you called out for a demon, he would find your soulmate for you but in return, you had to sell your soul to him and one day, he’d just come and claim it and then you died. 

You dropped the book on the table and started the first few episodes of the show but somehow, you didn’t really get into it at all. The cake came back to mind again and you forced yourself up, cutting out a single slice and shoved a fork in your mouth. You did have to give it to Wooyoung , while his decoration skills had room for improvement, the taste always was on point. 

“This is how you spent your twenty-sixth birthday,” you nodded to yourself before suddenly, there was a loud boom which led for you to drop the plate with the cake, it crashed on the floor, shattering.

“Fuck!” you cursed and looked around, grabbing something to start and pick up the shards, followed by a towel to try and clean up. When you sat up, you paused. Not only because there was the same sound again, although quieter this time but most of all you were staring at your wrist.

“Hell?” you were good with cursing today it seemed but as you pulled on the red string around it, the thing wouldn’t move. “What’s this?” you blinked and crossed your legs, grabbing a knife but it seemed as it was invisible to the sharp blade. The third shattering sound from the floor above yours finally let you look up. 

You swallowed thickly, standing up and pulling on your sneakers, together with your phone and your keys. You kept pulling on the string as you walked up, taking two stairs at once. Above you lived a guy in his fourties, a drunkard because his soulmate left him, likely for that. Ah, just because a soul was matching yours didn’t mean all of them received their happy ending, sometimes the human mind just didn’t live up to it.

You stood there, hesitant for a moment, your hand wasn’t shaking when you reached for the doorknob but to your surprise, the door was unlocked. It opened without a sound and you found yourself in the middle of a strange scene. The body of your neighbor was lying on the floor, but it didn’t seem as if he was breathing anymore, a shelf next to him, likely one sources of the noises, and then there was a handsome man around your age that was pulling on a string around his wrist. 

He was cursing and said something you did not understand but he didn’t notice you yet. His brown hair was dancing around delicate features with silver eyes starring at his wrist. His outfit was … a bit strange, maybe it reminded you a little of what you saw people wearing in deserts, oversized comfortable white gowns made of soft fabrics, hinting of the build underneath without showing too much, a satin scarf tied around his neck, ears adorned with a great number of earrings and piercings. They looked slightly pointed towards the end.

It was the moment he looked up that your gazes finally met and it was strange but it felt like looking in a mirror. Not because the two of you would look anything alike but there was something in his expression: you knew the gaze of eyes who had gotten adjusted to being alone because they looked back in form of your mirror’s reflection every morning for the past decade. 

He finally moved, fingers snapping as he seemed to rush to the bathroom.

“Hey! What happened here?” You finally found your voice and walked towards him but you stopped when you saw that the said bathroom door turned into something that seemed to be pitch black water. 

You were staring now and suddenly, pulled forward by your wrist. You stumbled over some pairs of shoes and made a soft sound, this was one time too many but as you tried to get up, the pull continued and before you knew it, your eyes remained on a red string. It looked like the one around your wrist but somehow it was going through the apartment now.

The stranger was busy trying to obviously walk through the water but it seemed, every time he tried, it turned into ice and very slowly, he turned around. 

“They can’t be serious, what’s this?!” For some reason, you were quite sure he was still speaking that strange language but now you understood it perfectly.

Your gaze finally completed the picture, following the red string from his wrist back to yours. As you slowly sat up, you gave it a strong pull and this time, it was him who fell, almost on top of you. He cursed and glared darkly at you.

“Stop doing this! No, this is not right!” he hissed and struggled back onto his feet but it was of no use, neither of you seemed to be able to remove that strange red string, if anything the more you tried the shorter it seemed to get. 

“No no, this can’t be no… oh no, what is this?” he started to walk up and down, and very slowly, you managed not to feel like you were going insane. Your eyes returned to your neighbor and you swallowed.

“Is he dead?”

The stranger shrugged as he bent his hair back: “What about it? His time was up. He got what he wanted, he should not have made such a fuss now that I had come to collect the payment.”

“Payment?” You were suddenly dragged to your feet and stared at him when you were so close. To your surprise, he was warm. It was silly, you figured maybe he was something like a grim reaper but he felt awfully alive like that.

“He sold his soul to me 25 years ago, half of his lifetime in exchange for his soulmate. The irony is, sometimes humans naturally shorten their lives by going for the bond. This outcomes is likely more pleasant than dying from a drunk liver.”

You shivered when he held your hand and when he tried to brush through the black water once again, it worked.  You could see how he swallowed and let go, snapping his fingers and it was just a door again. He was defeated, disappointed confused, scared?

“Stop reading my emotions!” he cursed and you blushed, having been caught for doing something you did not even know you could do.

“I do not really get half of what you are talking about … you got his soul… like in the children’s book?”

The stranger was frowning at you now, confused about the fact that there was such a thing, or maybe, he had no idea what it was? Wait, if you could experience his emotions, did that mean he also… oh. 

“I guess, whatever that means. Do you live inside of this place? Let’s go there.” He started to walk again and you were dragged, hissing: “Could you maybe stop doing this?!” Almost as he was about to tease you, he tugged on the red string again. “The sooner you follow me, the earlier we can cut this off and be done. I have to go back to hell and I won’t go there with you.” 

There were two emotions you sensed: the first one was that this was a lie, the second was desperation, maybe more doubt.

You never heard that any pair of soulmates ever managed to cut their bond, surely some tried but it couldn’t be done. 

Hongjoong’s eyes scanned through the small apartment. He had been a deal maker for around four hundred years, he saw all kinds of homes and this one was not really out of the ordinary. He noticed the broken plate on the floor, splattered with cake. The demon was trying his best to keep his thoughts collected, the last he needed for you was to be able to sense the truth.

He had no idea what was going on. It was easy, every demon found its soulmate within one hundred years of birth, with no exceptions. Until Hongjoong was born and when everyone found theirs, there was none for him. Thus two centuries passed and he simply dropped it. What was the point of being sorrowful about it? If hell said there was no demon for him, good! This job was annoying enough. Humans were silly creatures.

Hongjoong wasn’t the only one but one who took many calls, likely due to not having a soul to share, no reason to desire more resting times. It was the human who called for a demon, not the other way around. It simply was practical, they were so willing to give and demons no longer needed to be violent to regain the energy needed to ensure the balance of the world remained. Not that humans would like to know that either.

He always told them very well what was to take place, the price of it but they never listened. When the time was up and he showed to collect their life time, they grew violent just for not wanting to finish a business they got rolling.

Now, several parts about this made it hard to stay calm: First, why the fuck was his soulmate a damn human, and how was it that he found you now? Souls who did not make foolish decisions usually went into a cycle of rebirth so … where have you been all this time?

No, he was not going to fall into this now! He needed to cut this off before it was too late. Hongjoong’s eyes wandered back to you as you tugged on the string, cursing him since he ignored how you complaint about how you did not clean up, not knowing you'd have visitors and how you ignored him.

Reading the other’s emotion and a string limiting distance was a demonic trait of soulmates, not one of humans. No, theirs never was as intense and sincere, much simpler. Then he only was able to pass through the portal to the gate with you by his side, in touch which meant.

“What? Do you think I am not hot enough to be your soulmate?” you puffed your cheeks. For a human, you were taking all of those new lessons well, really.

If you did not manage to cut off the bonds tho, your time as a human was running out. It seemed that your soul already started to accustomed to his demonic presence and with this, you likely would turn into one. Then, there was no way for you to stay here, your life would be over, and thinking how human souls always begged not to leave behind what they loved...

“What’s with those dirty old shoes inside of a home?” he pointed out, finally giving you some kind of answer. It was of no use, while there was no reason to put you into a spiral of panic for the moment, it would be easier to think if you stopped treating him like a puppy on a leash.

“Before you make a big scene, yes I am a demon and yes, we do have soulmates. Then, this one is a little different, you see when your soulmate is near, the string around the wrist appears and usually, it only leads you together, you follow it and then, each keeps the one on the wrist but that’s it. With us demons, that is different. We experience everything more intense, and because we benefit from our soulmate bonds, in exchange we always have to be together, our radius to be able to walk away is short so I guess, when we threaten to leave, the string reminds us of that.”

You turned your wrist around, looking at the red string and then back to him. At least, you were quick-witted and smart because you already took notice that the string, while there, was invisible to all around you. Clothes, and objects, they just went through it like it was made of air but you could not separate, it kept your souls together and with that, the bodies.

“Can I ask some stupid questions?” you asked and Hongjoong shook his head. “Can I ask for your name? C’mon, you just said we are soulmates, what’s with all of this hesitation?”

“I told you, not to read my emotions!” You were far too good at it. Hongjoong was trying his very best to keep it at bay, somehow it seemed rude to do just that and he wondered when he suddenly became shy around a human. “Hongjoong, that’s what my name means in your human tongue anyway.” 

Yours already adjusted to his though, another warning sign that things were progressing fast.

“Hongjoong, it’s cute! I am,” you suddenly stalked closer, whispering your name to him and he was naturally withdrawing. “What are you doing?”

Oh, how you judged him for this, not only the way how your head tilted and you looked at him: “What is it? What makes you so displeased about me being your soulmate? Is it the look? The name, or because I am human?”

He was glad you did not know that he was considered abnormal because you were gone for so long and he had given up that you existed. Urgh again, he agreed with himself he did not need a soulmate! No, he could not get emotionally attached to you now, not more than the string already forced onto the both of you.

“I do not need a soulmate, my life is busy. I work a lot and demons aren’t permitted to stay in the mortal realm for long. I just told you, demonic soulmates cannot separate and since I am one, this means we are in a hassle.” 

You were so much worse than he expected. Please, where was the terror, the screams, the begging not to be tied to a monster?

“So, just take me along then, problem solved. You said you cannot go without me and it seems easier for me to go with you, I just text my coworkers I found my soulmate and I am running off with him. They likely think I am desperate enough for it.”

You said that with such lightless that for the first time, Hongjoong allowed his emotions to go through, that sense of confusion but mostly, he was finally trying to read yours properly, going deeper than the bits of curiosity, and annoyance. 

Your words were so lighthearted proving you must be used to being like that because deep down, he found a familiar, radiant pain. No, you did not say it because you were reckless and curious, you seemed to believe there was nothing for you here.

Hongjoong forced not to look through your apartment again, now wondering where it was, those human affection everyone held and it was only now that he foolishly admitted he did not look at it from your perspective. Human lives were short, you couldn’t be older than your 20s but with that, you waited for quite some time. 

His silver eyes remained on the splattered cake and he walked over, opening that metal box you all used for food storage. The cake inside told him what he needed to know to put it together. It was your birthday. Humans always celebrate them with their families and friends. You were alone, eating cake. 

“You caught me, it’s my birthday! So in theory, you owe me because I was in the middle of a celebration when your noises scared the hell out of me… I probably should not use this word as a joke anymore huh?” This time, your voice wasn’t as convincing and you bit your lip because you also slowly got used to the fact that the two of you could sense the other’s emotions.

Hongjoong did not want a soulmate. He got used to being alone. It might be silly, foolish even but the demon’s greatest fear was simple: finding his soulmate only to lose them again. You never could truly miss what you did not know but losing it after you had it, oh having felt it, after watching his friends glow up and be with theirs.

The moment he’d give into the longing, there wouldn’t be a way for him to let you go again.

He didn’t want to push the burden of being with him onto you. It would be a lonely life for a former human to live in hell with its limitations just to be called to desperate souls, uniting them with their soulmate only to know the grief you’d push them through by the time when you returned to claim them. 

It didn’t change, Hongjoong had no idea how to cut it off because deep down, he knew that there was no way but it didn’t mean he couldn’t try to save your soul. 

He would.

“Well, let’s celebrate your birthday then.”

This was not what you expected him to say. For the past half an hour, your soulmate ignored you, broadening about your situation and now, he wanted to celebrate your birthday? 

His emotions were confusing because they seemed to change all few seconds, going through confusion, being upset, and sometimes, sorrow. That one hurt, it reminded you of whenever people told you that your loneliness would end the day your soulmate would come into your life.

Nobody ever said how to deal with that creeping fear. Everyone you loved was gone, what if finding your soulmate meant hope just to have it ripped from you again? How funny, you spent so much time cursing and asking simply for a soulmate that could not die, one that was instructable when you were a teenager. Then, there was no way to lose them, right?

Now, this had come true quite literally. 

“What do you mean?” you asked as you watched him carefully taking out the cake and placing it on the counter. There were so many questions you had, about him and hell since it seemed, the two of you would spend… however long you would be able to live with him together there.

“Humans care about birthdays, we do not do that. I mean, we have celebrations but we do not put up those,” Hongjoong explained. You loved to listen to his voice, it was calm and pretty. Ah, he looked like an elf, the longer you thought about it, the less it seemed like a monster. Then, maybe they were like angels in stories, taking a more human shape to please the souls and scare them less but would he have to even try when he came to claim a soul? 

“How do you put these on…” he asked pointing at the candles. There was no way to chuckle about it and he seemed to blush just a little.” Guess, it means you cannot spy fire or something.” Your fingers opened one of the drawers and took out a lighter. 

“Well, first thing you have to learn is that just like humans have countries and differ in appearance, so are demons. It really is just an umbrella term but no, as I told you, I’m a collector. We collect the life energy so I do not steal your soul before you ask about it. That doesn’t work since soulmates exists and you need to find yours again.”

You paused, surprised that he suddenly was sharing so willingly about it and it made you wonder if that was because he was upset your thoughts were so cliche or if it was sincere. “Wait, you are telling me that humans are really reborn and then you have the same soulmate in all of them?”

Hongjoong hesitated before shrugging: ”Something like that? I can’t really go into details.” Somehow, you could sense there was a ‘now’ he did not dare to speak and it just further added to your suspicion that he was trying to hide something from you. He certainly had reasons to dislike you, hell you even could see that somebody living for centuries was not too keen to suddenly have what must feel like half a teenager stuck by his side but was it really all?

“Here, we have those. You push that little wheel and then it makes fire,” you showed it to him, offering the lighter to him. Hongjoong seemed hesitant before he took it and you admired how soft his hands looked, hell must have a pretty impressive skin care. 

It was cute to watch him struggling just a little with it but eventually, all of the five candles were lighted again, minus the one you removed earlier when taking a slice from it.

Hongjoong was holding up the cake and for the first time, you noticed his pretty eyes had no reflection. There was a wave of hesitation all over him and it really was hard to figure out just what was going on in his mind. 

“Here,” he offered it to you and you blinked.

“Actually, I already… wait a second.” You decided against mentioning how you already made a wish because he put the effort in and you did not want to be ungrateful, rushing over to pick up two juice glasses and some mineral water, uncertain if demons consumed alcohol and you honestly did not have any at home anyway.

You poured two before sitting down, smiling, and closed your eyes, thinking how you wished, you could live a life with him from the start. It sounded stupid considering you just met him but maybe then, it would be possible, to be comfortable instead of awkward. 

As you blew out the candles, his expression shifted, suddenly it was strangely soft like he was looking at an old lover he had not seen for a long time and he was just admiring you before being caught and clearing his throat, gaze torn away to place the cake back on the table. 

“Okay then, let’s eat some of it,” he said and cut another piece off, placing it on a plate. You offered him a glass and smiled: “We have to do a toast too, that’s important. Let’s drink, uhm to be good soulmates. Next life, let’s be happy together!”

Hongjoong was making a face, it was as if he was about to say something but he just sighed and accepted the water glass, toasting with you before emptying it. 

“Now eat, you should enjoy the food. We do not really eat in hell;” he mumbled and forced the plate on your lap before looking away again. You mumbled something but took it, this time enjoying the flavor and for some reason, you got sad to think how now you never would be able to tell Wooyoung in person how tasty the cake was or to see how his decorative skills would improve.

You bit your cheek, reminding yourself that the demon by your side could sense it and he already seemed so against your idea to simply go with him. Your decision did not change, it just really made sense in your eyes, you had a few friends, especially Woo but that was about it. Their lives would improve once they found their soulmates and go on without you, nobody would grieve for you being gone for long, it was just how it was.

People were always torn away from you and you were forced to suffer alone but nobody ever seemed to feel like that about you. If they did not die, they just walked out never to return.

“I don’t look like that!” Hongjoong’s offended voice tore you out of your thought train and you looked up, seeing him holding up the children's book, finger pointing at the scary monster. “Sure, I am not the only collector but none of us looks like this! Also, what’s this with we steal your soul and will just disappear if you close the door and speak our name!”

You could not hold back the laugh because the demon was taking this so awfully seriously, you could feel how he was annoyed by the portrayal of the demons who helped humans find their soulmates in exchange for their lives.

“Well, it’s supposed to be a scary story. In the eyes of the people, your kin is somewhat of a villain, you know? Making use of the insecure humans who just want to find their missing piece and soulmate,” you explained and Hongjoong’s eyes glanced over it again before dropping it. 

“Tch, it’s them who calls us and we actually put the effort in to look good, so it is not scary at all.” You leaned in and for the first time, dared to come a little closer to him. “So you look different in hell?”

 Your soulmate was studying you carefully, before shrugging: “Not necessarily, let’s say our features are a little sharper, some of us do have like wings or horns but I’d not say… I have a hard time to assume if you find it scary, humans seem so easily terrified.” 

Interesting, then nobody really could blame them for being upset when angels always were portrayed so beautifully although their original descriptions were rather terrifying.

“What are you doing?” Hongjoong froze the moment you grew bold and your hands rested on both of his cheeks. His breath lowered and he looked down, to see how your fingers brushed along his sharp jawline.

“You are beautiful, you know? I mean it, you really are. I almost feel a little ashamed I am so… simple,” you whispered and to your surprise, he was now turning the tables. His movement was so quick and sharp, you did not see it coming how he grabbed your chin gently, lifting it a little as his white eyes looked over your face.

“I do not see it, you being simple. You are pretty, to me anyway. We are soulmates, you could look any shape or form and we are still meant to adore each other, you know? Now, what do I do with you? Not afraid, eager to move to hell, being so bold with a demon. You really want to come with me?”

You swallowed, throat went dry when his voice was husky at the end, almost a little threatening. Then, very slowly, you nodded. The red string around your wrists relaxed it wasn’t as tense anymore as it was in the past hour.

Hongjoong looked at you for a moment before withdrawing and standing up, when he acted, he always confused you because his emotions never seemed to match. There was this odd feeling of guilt that came over your connection but you had little time to think of it. When he asked you, the last you expected was the snap of the finger and how he simply carried you through the black water.

Somehow, you figured you would have some time to text your goodbyes before moving casually to hell. 

Hongjoong dropped you carefully, watching your expression as you looked around. Ah yes, humans had very specific ideas of what hell would look like and you were likely surprised to realize, that some parts of it did not look so much alike to your own world. The part where most of the collectors resided was not unlike an oasis in the middle of a desert, with elegant buildings craved out of sandstone, vast plants, and plays of water rushing through the city.

“This is different,” you breathed, looking around like you just ended up on vacation. It was hard to deal with your strong emotions, it seemed as time passed by, the bond increased and Hongjoong grew worried about how much time he would have to safe you before you’d turn into a demon. 

It was hard to tell why he was so adamant about it. Was it really only because once he grew accustomed to you losing you would be too painful or was it something else? He could not shake off this fear of how he somehow knew you’d not be able to endure the life of a collector, how every human begging you not to take their life often at their happiest…

His thoughts were interrupted when Seonghwa came around the corner, he was humming, his soul string relaxed. This guy somehow managed to cheat the soulmate bond, maybe because his soulmate was just as gentle and trusting but also cheeky as the older demon. 

It was when his gaze landed on the human that he froze: “You?”

You turned around and Hongjoong was quick to step by your side, forcing you to stand behind you. Not that Seonghwa would pose any threat to you or well, anyone else. Demons were quite strict when it came to soulmates, it was a big thing here, much more than up there for you humans. Hurting another's soulmates was considered the biggest crime.

“It’s complicated… but you need to help us to cut it somehow,” Hongjoong lifted his hand, pulling gently on the string. He was a little taken back to see his best friend all confused as he was looking at you strangely before finally, Hwa’s golden eyes focused on him.

“Okay, slow down there, Joongie. You just found your soulmate, let’s ignore it’s a human, and you want to cut it, now why would any sane soul do this?”

“I agree,” you announced and then just walked past him, causing a blush on his cheeks when you seemed so trusting with Seonghwa like you had known him forever. 

“Nice to meet you! This guy talks about cutting it off since we met, although I told him how I am okay to come here! I mean, my human life isn’t awful or anything but I have an easier time just coming here with him.”

Seonghwa’s features softened too much and Hongjoong was not sure why this somehow felt unsettling. He was trying to get himself together and rushed back to your side: “Why give up a life up there? I am perfectly fine on my own and humans, they have to stop thinking soulmate is the only option… there are plenty of people to pick.”

His best friend looked at him with a gentle smile before poking his forehead: “How about you slow down a little there, sir? You know that there is no known way to break that bond other than death. Not for us, we aren’t humans.” 

Hongjoong opened his mouth to say something but was silenced by Hwa’s strict demeanor. “Why don’t you go and get your soulmate something more comfortable to wear? Since one of the two of you is relaxed, it should be fine. Relax, that way the string will give you some space.” The taller gave his best friend a shove and sighed, only mumbling to himself and walking off.

Hongjoong brushed a strain of hair behind his ear, as he focused to listen to the conversation. Down here, his instincts and senses worked perfectly. Ah, he should have known Seonghwa just would be so open with you. His fingers suddenly felt a little shaky when he went through his room, starting to find something that would fit you.

“He’s really tense… I almost think he does not like me,” you whispered and Seonghwa leaned in, delicate fingers curling a strain of long dark hair around his finger. “It’s because we demons find our soulmates right at the start. You see… we only have this one life. If we fade, that’s it. Humans can be reborn, so I guess, he believes that in your next life, destiny will fix this for you. Hongjoong... tells himself he has long accepted to not have one but look at that.”

Your curiosity was of no help, Hongjoong picked something that should look cute and pretty on you. Maybe it was not the worst idea while he figured out how to fix this mistake.

“If you only have one life… what becomes of your soulmate if you vanish?”

Your question was too bold, humans had no taste for when to be tender with questions as Seonghwa’s features indicated pain. Hongjoong knew there was somebody his best friend knew once who lost a soulmate and there was a rule which made it hard to deal with it.

“As we are immortal unless something causes our death and there is no rebirth for us... losing your soulmate is said to drive a demon insane,” Hongjoong started as he stepped by your side again. “Thus, there is a magic some may consider a curse or blessing. If your soulmate dies, unlike a human who keeps theirs, the string vanishes and the demon forgets about them. Other demons are forbidden to ever speak about it, so the pain will not resurface. It’s rare tho.”

Why were you so sad about this? It was not just the emotions coming over the string but also your features.

“But this seems so cruel? Not to be able to remember the person you spent your entire existence with. I understand it… the pain of loss, of having to go on but I always rather remember than be forced to believe I always was meant to be alone.”

Seonghwa was silent as you said it and Hongjoong stood there, a little lost before sighing: “Anyway. Here, we can get you something proper another time… it should fit you. As you see, we all somewhat wear similar styles, just with changes in detail. It’s always the heat of Summer down here, you will see why it’s more comfortable.”

You turned around smiling: “Thanks, I’ll go and change… uhm.” Hongjoong pointed towards the rooms he just came from: “That’s where I live, take your time.” 

He nodded and only glanced as you rushed off.

“Joong, do you really want to cut the bond?” Hwa’s voice was gentle and if he did not know it better, his best friend seemed almost mourning about it.

“It’s better, I do not think that my soulmate is fit for this life … I do not want to push a human soul through the pain of collecting life energy, I am not sure that …"

He did not need to finish it, Seonghwa understood and the two of them just stood there in silence. 

You suddenly felt yourself shivering, it was hard to explain and certainly hadn’t anything to do with your new clothes which were surprisingly light and comfortable. It seemed the fabrics of demons were woven differently from what you knew from the earth. Hands rubbed over your arms when Hongjoong walked to your side, sighing.

“How are we supposed to do this together? Look at you,” he frowned and you looked as innocently as possible: “What’s with that feeling? You feel it too but you do not seem to mind it at all.”

For a moment, Hongjoong was silent before he took your hand and started to walk with you through the city. It was a strange place, the buildings elegant and carved beautifully. The demons barely reminded you as such, even those who had less human traits than Hongjoong and his best friend.

“You know, Hell plays an important part in the balance of the world. Heaven, Earth, Hell. We are one big circle that supports each other, as odd as that sounds for a human. A part of hell deals with the souls of humans who need to be led back to a righteous part while also harboring … what you likely imagine when hearing demon. To ensure that all stays the way it is, we need energy, think of it like humans need the sun.”

It seemed he was leading you towards the tallest building in the center, for once you managed to stay silent, indicating you were listening and Hongjoong nodded as he continued:

“When humans started to reproduce in great numbers, the energy on earth became too much. Thus, we started to seek ways to slow it down, and as we need energy to keep this alive, humans gave us the answer themselves. When they started to summon demons in exchange for leading them to their soulmates, it was a natural decision. No harm would come to humanity, but help to balance the numbers of souls ever so eager to be reborn at once. You see, a soul isn’t directly reborn. It waits for the soulmate until a matching moment is found and only then do they come back. Ah, let’s not bore you with the detail.”

You wanted to disagree, just needing a moment to put his words into a larger picture as you walked passed a small crowd but nobody seemed to mind a human walked among them. 

You entered a room that looked surprisingly like a library just with files, Hongjoong seemed to naturally find the one he was looking for. He placed it on the table so you could have a look, a woman in her late 30s, made the pact at the young age of eighteen and you slowly understood, thinking of your neighbor.

“Because demons are so sensitive to soulmates, we can forcefully make the string appear and with that, find their soulmate. As I mentioned before, when they agree, the contract is written here but there is one thing humans often do not consider. Their lifetime can change, a reckless decision, an addiction. Somebody meant to reach the age of a hundred might live fifty years with their soulmate but shorten it to forty because of an addiction. That is not our problem tho. When their estimated time is up, you feel this shiver and you will know which one it is as you were the one to have made it.”

Before you could say anything, Hongjoong took your hand and this time, his grip was firm as he snapped his fingers and the water appeared. 

“I do not want to be cruel but I guess, the only way for you to see why you are not made for this is to see both by yourself. Soulmates work together, if you stay with me, every day, every call, you have to come with me, no exceptions.”

Suddenly, you stood in the middle of a fancy house, wide open doors showed a beautiful garden with a play of water and the humming sound of a woman who was watering her flowers. This was somebody wealthy but money could not give you a soulmate, right? “Do you know why she’d have died so early on?”

Hongjoong looked at you, nodding: “It is part of the note but sometimes, it is better not to know too much.” With that, he let go of your hand but the string soon forced you to follow as he stepped outside and the woman turned around. The moment she saw Hongjoong’s beautiful features, she grew pale.

“No,” she gasped, the water jug dropped to the ground, spilling clear water everywhere. “It is much too early! You cannot be here yet, it must be a mistake.” The average human life was anticipated to be around eighty to ninety, now many even reach their hundred. You were not surprised how she must be surprised to face death now, like that. Beautiful but sharp.  

“Your death date has been concluded and thus, I am here to collect the price in exchange for our deal made. It will be quick, you won’t feel a thing,” it was odd for Hongjoong, who usually spoke with so much impatience or worry, to lack any emotion. You swallowed as you reminded yourself how this had been his life from the beginning of his existence and based on his words, he must have lived for quite some time already.

“No listen, my daughter, she’s just done with high school! I just need a few more years!” the woman begged but the demon seemingly remained unaffected. 

"We have fulfilled our part of the deal, now it is time for you to do so as well.”

Her gaze was a mixture of hatred and desperation as she grabbed him, starting to shake your soulmate: “Is this all you monsters have to say?! You make use of poor humans in misery, longing for their other part, and then just treat us like objects! You truly are a monster. Bless god, my daughter already found hers, I will not have to worry she will lose her soul to such a monster like you.”

This was the moment her eyes fell on you, staring like she barely could make sense that a monster would have a soulmate and it made you wonder if it meant those affected by a pact could see the red string connecting your wrist.

“How can you?!” she did not get a chance to finish her sentence, Hongjoong snapped with his fingers and she simply fell to the ground like she just lost consciousness. You swallowed as you watched a ball made of radiant white and golden light seemingly leave the body, the golden one going up, while Hongjoong took the white into his hand and made it disappear.

“It’s a quick death, it just stops. She has not committed any crimes, her soul will remain in the good realms until her soulmate has passed as well and they can start over”, Hongjoong concluded and looked at you.

It was the moment the door opened and a man walked in. You noticed how his red string looked different from yours, it was clean like it was made of one piece rather than the cut-off ends that indicated the connection to another. 

The moment he saw his wife’s body, the sound of his voice, your heart cracked and Hongjoong could sense how you thought of him as cruel, for forcing you through experiencing all of it. He did not pull you away, offered no comfort and did not let you go back to hell because he wanted you to see what it meant to make a pact with the devil, the villain of the story of desperate soulmates.

You hated how tears dwelled at the edge of your eyes but you were not sure why, death stopped touching you such a long time ago.

When you received news of your mother's passing, it was first hard, by the time your grandmother left as well, did you really get used to it or did you barely alter yourself focusing on the memory of the calm face that looked at you in the mirror, asking if being alone wouldn’t be easier, kinder.

Finally, the familiar snap appeared and Hongjoong led you back to hell. 

“Do you want a blanket? I can get you one if you are cold,” Hongjoong’s voice was soft, worried. When you came back, you just curled up as a ball on his bed. The thought of this repeating tomorrow was hard, could you get used to it? You’d have to! Not only because you talked so boldly about being fine like this, but it was not as if you had an option.

Did you want an option?

It wasn’t your question but a wave of emotions formed into words coming from him. Hongjoong had tried to be soft, caring even and it was strange. Finally, he seemed to have enough of your lack of answers, he sat down at the edge of the bed and gently but forcefully turned you around.

Tears remained in your eyes and his fingers were so gentle, it almost broke you. For a moment, you imagined what it would have been like to meet Hongjoong as a human. Somehow, you thought how he would have been somebody gentle and kind, maybe a painter, focused to find beauty in the detail or a florist, creating art that made hearts bloom.

Why was he born a demon, forced to do this work alone?

Alone. No, he wasn’t alone anymore. You should get yourself together! Maybe there was a reason for it, maybe not but it was on you to make the most out of this bond.

“Stay with me,” you whispered and his arms curled around you, pulling you close. “Not like I can go anywhere,” he teased and you chuckled. “True.” 

You allowed your face to burry against his neck, only noticing now how he had this faint scent of wildflowers, maybe a herb your grandmother used for tea, it was hard to tell why but it was familiar, like you once were used to have it around you.

“Tell me about you,” you whispered after a while, no longer crying as his hand kept gently rubbing over your back, his chin resting against your hair so you could hide against his chest from the world. “What do you want to know?” he asked, thoughtful as his movements held for a moment. 

“Mh, anything? We can skip food, since you say you do not eat but what do you like to do? What are your hobbies? Placed to go, things to do? Let’s pretend there are no stupid rules or limitations.”

He chuckled again: “You always ask the big questions or too many at once but let’s see… I like to paint or I used to. For a while, I had the feeling like there was something important I forgot and it would help me remember but all I got together were places I saw but whose meaning seemed odd. Sometimes, on days when the hours I have up there are not spent on work, I like to walk the human world at night. The fake lights making your cities look so breathtaking from afar, fireworks, the scents of food. People just going by with their lives with so little worry about their futures. I also like the beach, we do not have oceans here, not ones made of water.”

It was fascinating to imagine Hongjoong, just walking along those places, eyes bright and shining like the ones of a child.  “We should go and do that then, you know? I can show you a few, we eat food, explore the beach and look at the fireworks. It is Summer now, a good time.” Hongjoong fell silent for some time, you could feel the heavy sorrow like he just was reminded of something.

Maybe he just made a decision.

“I would like that.”

The next two days felt like a familiar fever dream. Waking up holding you in his arms, the way you smiled at him so easily like he was not the one who stole your life, your careless curiosity, the way you enjoyed exploring the city, endless stories to share which made him wonder why you spent your birthday alone.

For a moment, Hongjoong was weak. Suddenly, he enjoyed it, the idea of having you by his side, how it could be like if you remained with him, the life shared together but the day he woke up and started to note the little changes to your features, the way how your ears were a little more pointed.

He realized time was ticking. Soon, he would have to make a decision or there wouldn’t be a way around it. Little did he know how he would find his answer when the call was sudden, a harsh painful cry for a demon to appear. 

You dropped a plate of colors as you felt it, wincing and Hongjoong was quick to be by your side, cupping your cheek: “Don’t worry, it is okay. It is rare for summons to be so sharp, they usually are a little more … desperate.”

It was hard to tell if fate was just cruel tho, to force this one on the two of you after a few peaceful days without interruption. “Are you ready to go?” he asked and you looked at him, hesitant but nodding, taking his hand and giving it a squeeze: “Let’s go.”

The apartment you stepped in was a mess. Books and papers laid around, clothes, a black cat plushie and the smell of freshly baked goods. Nothing he hadn’t seen before. 

It was your reaction that made him pause, the sharp gasp when you inhaled, the shiver that run through your body but before Hongjoong even had time to ask, tears rushed down your cheeks, and the one who called stepped out of the bathroom. 

It was a handsome man around your age, long black waves falling into his face, a jacket clinging to the shoulders. His eyes were wet, the vibe a mixture of desperation and pain. Finally, Hongjoong’s eyes stuck on a photograph. A graduation scene, him and you, posing together with your degrees.

“You are the demon that can find my soulmate?” he asked voice husky, indicating he must have cried for some time.

“Wooyoung?” as you called out his name, the man looked at you. It was hard to tell if it was a curse or a blessing at this point, because you came with the demon and the progress of change started, he did not recognize you anymore.

“You have a soulmate?” he swallowed, his gaze was on you for a moment. Zhe hard gasp leaving your lips were hard to endure. When you moved, Hongjoong just froze. “No, Wooyoung listen! You do not need to do this! Your soulmate will come to you in time, do not give up your life time for this!”

Finally, the demon acted and pulled you back. There was a simple rule, if a demon answered a call, no going back. If the humans wished for the pact, it would happen. The way you tried to free your wrist was hard to take but Hongjoong was firm.

The human seemed confused as he watched the scene, not understanding why the demons meant to help him would suddenly tell him not to.

“I want to do it. I just lost another person … I can’t go on and wait to be alone. I rather die young being loved than be alone most of my life. Do it.”

He was talking about you, both of you knew it and somehow, it finally gave you the rest. You sunk to your knees and cried, the air full of tension. Hongjoong tried his best to deal with the emotions through your bond and it was hard, he felt dizzy and overrun by your grief and sorrow but eventually, he managed. The red string appeared but it was made of a single piece, with no ends for a string.

Wooyoung looked at it before Hongjoong found his voice: “I must reject it. There is nothing I can do for you.”

Confusion radiated from both of the humans and Wooyoung made a step towards the demons.  “What do you mean by that?!” Hongjoong paused. There was one, rare occasion, where even the willingness of a human was pointless: if the soulmate already passed away. It happened often, it was fo those who waited all thei life, thinking how they never found this one person. 

“Your soulmate already passed over for the next life. In this one, go and find a love that your heart longs for, not so much your soul. It does not have to be any less fulfilling just because it is not made of a string.”

This time, Hongjoong spared you the reaction of your best friend, he dragged you through the water before any of you could witness it.

As you dropped on the floor of his home, you cried, you would not stop at all but Hongjoong did not have the cruelty to go down and try to soothe you. Somehow, he knew you would reject it.

“He won’t remember this, the moment we leave, he just will have this realization that he knows his soulmate will not find him but as I already told you… there will be a next life.”

Of course, it offered you no comfort. The tears would not stop. Finally, Hongjoong swallowed and he went on his knees, he was terrified for you to push him away because hewas about to steal the life of likely the one human you did care for, the one that baked you the cake and he did not even hesitate.

To his surprise, you allowed him to pull you closer, burying your face against his shoulder.

And as he held you, experienced every one of your emotions, he knew. You were not meant for this life and now, the answer was simple.

When he first waited to find you, he always said he’d do anything for his soulmate, once they would be together, make them happy. In a time before he told himself he was better off alone.

He would protect your soul now too, which would wither like a flower if you stayed.

There was no way to cut the string of souls.

Except one.

“You look different…” you looked at him. Seeing Hongjoong in streetwear, he was almost looking human, just a little prettier than any you encountered. “Blue hair would suit you well, you know? Goes with your white eyes.”

Hongjoong blushed, this was the first time he was doing it so obviously but it made you giggle. “What about it? I do not get why you guys like those jeans so much… the tank top is okay but why do you wear it when you need a jacket on top? Wouldn’t it be easier simply to wear a long sleeve to begin with?”

You still were surprised when he took you to a mall earlier, asking you to pick an outfit for him and then, one for yourself. It took your hours but he insisted on taking your time. Of course, you guessed he wanted to distract you from what happened yesterday, something you tried your hardest to push aside, forget but Wooyoung’s face still haunted you in your dreams. 

Maybe this was a good idea, getting out for a little, spending time with your soulmate. You could not just let Hongjoong down, could not tell him this was too much for you, not after all you forced him through, promises you made so carelessly.

“It’s because if it gets hot, you just take off the jacket and won’t sweat but if a wind is coming up, feel warm and snuggly. You also can give it to your partner, you know? That way, they can show it off, it’s like a more comfortable way of soulmate string.”

Hongjoong just looked confused but you liked it, your arms curled around him as he snapped his fingers and opened a portal. It must be late afternoon, the smell of the ocean was quite strong, and there were many voices, giggles of couples, and laughs of families alike.

A festival? Ah, that was right, there was one around a week after your birthday. Had only such a little time past by since you met Hongjoong? Just one week? 

“I was thinking, you could get us some food, we do… whatever humans do here and then, enjoy the fireworks.” Hongjoong seemed almost shy, forcing his gaze away as he asked you to go for that. It was almost like a date and the thought excited you! “Leave it to me, we can do all of the things. Ah, is it okay to be like this?”

You gently tugged on his arm and his gaze met you, it was soft and loving as he nodded: “I do not mind it. Humans can see us since we came here on our own accord but they should not spend any special notice of us, since my magic shelters us just enough.” 

You thought again of just how warm he was, the way his skin was soft and he smelt so nice, like a memory. “Noted, I promise it will be fun and then we can go back in no time.” Hongjoong shook his head: “Don’t worry… about that. Just let’s have fun okay? Like there is no tomorrow.” 

Ah, he was always so dramatic but then, this surely was his first time here, so you wanted to make the most out of it. 

You did not waste time, you dragged him over to all kinds of stalls, all the times you watched others do this with their lovers. There were silly games where you had to catch rubber ducks, the owner was sure Hongjoong was cheating just because he was too good at it.

Food was a whole different thing, demons were not required to eat, but they could if they wanted to although, Hongjoong noted how their flavor wasn’t as developed as the one of a human. Still, you ended up buying some chocolate strawberries and feeding them to him slowly. The way his face flushed when he dropped the first, nervous when he was chewing the second, and deciding how he liked it. Everything was new to him and his curiosity was quite obvious shared over your bond.

It was good because it helped you to relax and forget about the worries for a little. The sun was sinking deeper when there was a cliche moment, of somebody playing music and couples watching, some dancing and enjoying the play of the violin with an acoustic guitar. 

“I always wanted to learn how to play one of those but then I just skipped it, didn’t have the patience,” you admitted, pointing at the violin. Hongjoon hesitated, lurking over to a human couple before he placed himself right behind you, arms curled around your waist as he rested his chin on your hair.

This time, it was you who blushed but you relaxed into the hug, allowed to enjoy his presence, the way how your heart was beating louder now. “Learn it, you never are too old to learn, you know? Even if it takes a long time, do what your heart calls for, remember that the only limits are the ones given by yourself and social expectations. You are not too old to learn, and you can be happy without your soulmate, love will be there if you want it.”

His words touched you and you looked up, trying to get a glimpse of his face but he did not move. “Well, I have a soulmate so I do not have to worry about that.”

You chuckled and for a moment, you were sure to catch his smile before he let go of you, squeezing your hand as he nodded towards the beach. “It will get dark soon. We should head to the beach, for the fireworks. I’d like a spot alone for us.”

Was it already this late? “Ah sure, let’s go!”

Hongjoong helped you to get over some rocks which were intended to keep people away but it did not seem to bother the demon. He held you gently as he led you down a path and found just the perfect spot in the sand. As you sat down, he noticed your shiver and obviously, remembered something. Hongjoong stripped out of his jacket and placed it over your shoulder.

It was the moment when your gazes met and if you did not know better, it seemed his heart was breaking. Thre was a brief moment of sadness but it was washed away by happiness so quickly.

“You know, I lived a long life, and I think, considering all, it was a happy one. I look at it and I think, I received everything a demon could hope for.”

His hands cupped your face once more and you blinked: “What’s with all of this past tense?” You wanted to sound casual but somehow there was a hint of worry, like you should be alarmed but your thoughts were interrupted once more as you kissed.

You gasped because the kiss was far too familiar to be a first one like the body remembered something the mind did not. Slowly, your eyes shut and you gave yourself into it, it was sweet and tender, longing for one another. Your arm curled around his neck and for some time, you simply remained just like that, only interrupted by the cracking explosion of fireworks over the sea, the sun now gone for good. 

Hongjoong gently broke the kiss, his fingertips brushing your hair away as he smiled, this was the happiest smile you had seen from him.

“Let’s enjoy the firework”, he whispered and pulled you closer, his arm curled around your shoulder. You snuggled against him and only slowly, forced your gaze to look at the colorful lights painting a picture over the ocean. You had seen many fireworks before but this one felt more breathtaking.

“Y/N…” Hongjoong mumbled.

“Hm?” 

“You should always celebrate your birthday, you know? Make it big, go and wish for whatever you want. Eat cake at the busiest places.”

“Mh, we can do that together,” you nodded.

“I’d have liked to celebrate more birthdays with you cause I hate the thought of you doing it alone,” he whispered.

Finally, the fear set in with you as you turned around and noticed how soft white light was radiating from Hongjoong’s body, something you saw before, a soul passing.

“Why would you say that?” you whispered. Oh no, no no.

Hongjoong smiled: “Live a happy and silly long life, okay? You got still good sixty years ahead of you, do all those things you want to.”

He was disappearing. Seonghwa said the only way for a demon to die was when something harmed them or they spent too much time in the human world. But you weren’t here for longer than maybe four hours… but it was based on a week, not a day. The shopping trip. Oh no.

“Don’t leave me,” you whispered but he tightened his embrace again. 

“You aren’t alone, silly. People are here for you, maybe not the way you think of them but here, for birthday cakes and text messages. To love you. Just trust it.”

Hongjoong looked at you and smiled, his hand placed on top of your head, ruffling your hair.

“But I want to be with you! Hongjoong!” you called out but the sad smile already told you that it was both, too late and him having made up his mind.

“I am sorry, Y/N. I need you to live a long and happy human life, okay? I won’t ever forget you.”

He leaned in, his lips closed as he slowly seemed to vanish. “Close your eyes,” he pleaded. As you looked at him, you regreted how little time you spent with him, how you did not just sit down, admiring his beauty for hours and... and you tried your best to close your eyes when the tears would not stop following.

Please, not again, not again. Please, do not take him away from me.

You begged to somebody, anybody but just as all the times before, they would not answer you.

As you kissed you, the sob ran through. 

“Thank you, Y/N, for finding me,” he breathed. He did not need to say it, you felt it. Once and for all, as clear as the sky above your head.

Hongjoong loved you. It was such a strong feeling, overwhelming but comforting, you wanted to whisper it back but it was stuck. Yet, somehow you felt he was smiling like he was telling you he knew you felt the same. As he leaned back, you felt his breath tickling your face, his hand on top of your head.

“Count to ten,” he whispered. You forced your eyes to remain shut, counting. Yet his picture in your mind clear as the day.

The confusion when you first met, the little annoyance, the blush, the look in the morning and his smile earlier.

10…9 … 8…. 7 …. 6

“Next time,” he whispered.

5… 4… 3…

“I’ll find you,” you promised.

…2

"Please wait for me."

….1.

The last firework exploded over your head and you opened your eyes. You blinked, confused and looked up. “Uh, what the fuck? Why am I crying over some fireworks?” Fingers stopped as you tugged on a jacket that was far too big for you but you liked the scent, wildflowers, something familiar.

As you carefully made your way up to the road again, you still did not manage to stop crying, just what was it? Some threw glances at you as you must seem like you just had the worst week of your life. Why was your heart so full of sorrow?

“Y/N? Hey, there you are, I was looking for you the entire week and then your location was very vague! Are you okay?”

Wooyoung’s face showed up and you blinked, his slender hands reached for your face and he scanned over you to see if you were injured, maybe hurt somehow. “How did you find me?” you asked, just to say anything but your friend seemed confused about the question. 

“You sent a text?” he pulled out his phone. “I admitted it didn’t sound like you but then, you did not show up at work for a week. I guessed something must have happened.”

A week huh? You looked at the text, coming from your number and this was the first time you noticed that little heart next to your name, making your cheeks heat up. 

text: firework, today, pick me up after. thanks.

Why was that? Then suddenly, it hit you like a realization and you looked up to Wooyoung. Ah, this was why it was hurting so much.

“I figured out that my soulmate is already… gone. I guess, as much as I always said it’d be fine without one… learning there really isn’t one was a bit much., especially if you never really met... or well, I am not sure how to describe the feeling”

Wooyoung seemed to be surprised before understanding: ”It’s probably insane but…same?” For a moment, the two of you just stood there, people passing by who went on their way home after the firework was done and the festival shut for the day. 

“Do you want me to drive you home?” his voice was soft, and there was some colors on his cheek. For a moment you looked at him and realized, Wooyoung had been part of your life for so long, always putting effort in but you had been so busy with your loneliness that you overlooked it.

Now you saw him clearly.

“I’d like that.”

Seonghwa relaxed against the small food stall, the owner ever so busy preparing more snacks. His soulmate joined him, a sweet smile on her lips as she followed his gaze. 

You and Wooyoung were chasing one another along the sandbank before he would catch you and pull you into his arm, soft kisses given to one another. The two humans seemed relaxed and happy, with each of them having a red string attached to their wrist, made of one piece, indicating their soulmate already moved on from this life, waiting in the next.

“I admit, I did not believe it was possible,” Seonghwa sighed but he was smiling. “Demons aren’t reborn but then, maybe they are? I am not sure if these two demons just have been so excellently stubborn that they managed to define our nature.”

His long arm curled around his soulmate, placing a kiss on top of her hair. 

He remembered the day like it was yesterday, the way how your past life looked at him so confidently, you never lacked confidence once you made your mind. When you knew you could not live for eternity like that, collect souls because you knew, Hongjoong would not be able to withstand it forever. He just was telling himself it was what he would do. How he dreamt of all those human things, caught in a life of pain. So when you left a century ago to set it into motion, so he could able to be free with you one day, you did so thinking he’d follow you no matter what.

Seonghwa's gaze lingered on your wrist. A demon’s string disappeared when they died, it made sense why yours was gone until you met Hongjoong. You weren't a demon anymore but human, his fading when you died the first time but returned once reunited. Fate never changed its mind once picking soulmates for one another.

Seonghwea sighed, looking up: “I bet, my best friend is somewhere vibing right out there, grinning like an idiot because he really managed to be reborn as a human, forever together with his beloved.”

He laughed: “Good! I do not expect anything but many happy lives from now on, Joongie.”

A life or so later …

“Y/N, you need to bring a date,” Wooyoung wined on the other line of the phone. It was hard to ignore your best friend even while being in the middle of a painting class. “It is my wedding, just bring anyone, really! I get it, you are super old-fashioned waiting around for Mister Soulmate, whom I feel sorry for based on your expectations: handsome, warm, smelling like flowers. Not easy to fulfil all of that”

You rolled your eyes as you dropped the brush and looked at your piece of art. “Well, being a professional violinist and having a needy best friend already keeps me busy, so I am good. If you care, I will bring somebody for the wedding. Now go, you do not want to miss your final suit fitting.” Wooyoung muttered but ended the call.

“Mh, this is familiar,” Jongho suddenly appeared next to you, making you jump. “How are you so quiet?” You asked but your fellow art lesson classmate grinned at you: “Secret, but I mean it. I think, there was a similar painting. Ah, wait a moment.”

He returned with a flyer from the art class: “Here, it’s one of the examples. It was painted by a former instructor a few years ago, Oasis in the desert. I mean, it isn’t exactly the same but it’s the same place? You said you just painted it out of your imagination?”

You could not deny how striking similar they were, just that you were by far not as talented as this person, barely an amateur painter as a small escape from your busy life as a violinist. ”Not at all… maybe it was a photo I once saw.”

Jongho frowned a little: “If you say so… You could just ask him tho? He’s a famous painter these days but I heard, he was giving a lecture today, on the other side of the building.”

You made a face, wanting to say if that would not be a bit strange but decided to keep the thought for yourself. “Anyway, I have to go. Need to get a wedding gift, I see you for the next class.” You waved, taking your bag and making your way to the exit.

It was the noises of falling shelves making you jump. You looked around until you noticed an open door of one of the art rooms. As you took out your phone, just in case it was an emergency, you paused.

“Hell?”

You blinked, looking at a red string around your wrist. For a moment you paused, in awe that it showed. You heard about it but you were about to give up. The noise again, a gentle hiss and you finally forced yourself to move.

A head of blue hair caught your attention first as you entered the scene of a few dozen empty canvases having fallen over and likely in an attempt to pick them up, led to more fall down, just that the man now was busy tugging on a string on his wrist.

There it was so clear, the red string, it remained visible just for your gazes to meet before all that was left were the strings, indicating that they had another end it belonged to.

“Are you okay?” you asked, unable to hide that little grin as your soulmate’s cheeks flushed and he managed to get himself up.

“Uhm, yes! I was trying to prepare an art lesson! Well, it seemed the art disagreed with me there,” he blinked and you could not deny how pretty he was. The blue hair seemed a little strong against his pale skin and features that almost felt a little unnatural for a person, too many piercings decorating his ear, an oversized jacket clinging to his shoulder like it was meant for somebody else.

“Need some help?” you asked and closed the door. He looked at you, almost lost when you stepped to him.

“That would be nice,” he whispered and blinked, pressing a hand against his eyes. “Uh… I swear I usually do not cry when I am meeting people.” Yet there he was, crying and somehow, you almost felt as if you could feel it.

“No worries, I get that,” you replied and closed the distance, suddenly hugging him.

He smelt like somebody familiar and before you know it, his arms curled around you. “Took you long enough, I was waiting forever,” you whispered, not sure why you said it.

It felt right and somehow, he knew exactly what you meant.”

Hongjoong sighed: “Sorry for being late.”

closing note: if you read up till here, thanks a lot. it was meant to end with hwa's pov but you know.

[chanswhxre]

Extra Boost

✩ masterlist ✩ requests ✩ kofi ✩ add to taglist

♡ Pairing : felix x reader

♡ Genre : smut , idol! felix, makeup artist! reader

♡ Word count : 3.8k+

♡ Warnings : 18+ NSFW, explicit sexual content, swearing, fingering, handjob, oral sex (m. & f. receiving), unprotected sex (istg dont be careless) creampie, breast play, nipple sucking, use of sex enhancement pills, felix is a horny baby

❗️minors, ageless, and blank blogs that will interact with me or my work will be BLOCKED.

It was 2 o'clock in the morning, and Felix, Minho, Jeongin, and Seungmin were busy getting ready for today's live show. They did the usuals, take a shower, eat a little something to energize themselves, brush their teeth, and blow dry their hair, it's been their routine for almost a month since they have been practicing for their performance and made a new choreography for Christmas EveL.

"Hyung, where did you put the vitamins?" Felix asked as he searched the cupboards. Minho finally had the time yesterday to rearrange the kitchen since it didn't have a system which was taking them more time to roam around than be done in a minute.

"In the cupboard above the coffee maker. Hurry up, the van is here!" Minho answered from the living room.

Felix quickly went to the cupboard and popped 2 pills in his mouth, one for vitamin C and one is B-complex..or that's what he thought it was. He didn't bother to look at the bottles because the caplet looked so much like their B-complex caplet and what could go wrong if he drank the wrong one anyways? Felix was too sleepy to care and all the bottles they put in the kitchen were only food supplements and vitamins so it wasn't really a big deal, he could've popped in Seungmin's ginseng supplement or the multivitamins that Jeongin was taking. All the medicine was separated into the bathroom's first aid kit so it's safe.

"Yongbok-ah! Let's go!" He heard Minho yell from the door.

"Coming!" Felix said and just left the bottle on the kitchen counter, he'll just put it back after work, he thought to himself.

They arrived at the venue and everyone was busy preparing for the show. You were assigned to do Felix's makeup and assist with his costume for today. Felix sits down on the makeup chair all sleepy.

"Good morning, Mr. Sleepyhead." You chuckled as you proceeded to comb his hair.

"Oh, hey. Good morning y/n. I thought you were doing Hyunjin's today." He replied as he looked at himself in the mirror.

"Yerin and I were swapped last minute. She's on training with Ms. Cha and she's doing Hyunjin's makeup today." You explained and Felix nodded. His hair was still damp so you plugged in the hair dryer and dried his hair.

"Sorry, I woke up kind of late so I didn't have time to blow dry properly." He apologized and yawned.

"No worries, cutie." You smiled reassuringly knowing that Felix was very tired from yesterday's rehearsals and now, they'll be having one final rehearsal before the actual show.

You have been the boys' hair and makeup artist for 2 years already and you have shared many wonderful memories with the team and them. You were close to all the members, especially Changbin, Hyunjin, and Felix to the point where you even got invited to have coffee with them or go out with them on some days off and still kept that professional line but as the days went by, you hung out a lot with Felix the most considering your mutual obsession with games and baking. You got to know him better to the point that you consider each other close friends with nicknames on eachother's contacts, going grocery shopping, walking down parks, baking whatever you guys think of at your place, playing games late at night on discord, and have heart to heart talks.

When you finished drying Felix's hair, you received a text message from Junsuk, the stylist that was assigned to Felix, that he's had an emergency and cannot come in for the day but thankfully, he told you he left all of Felix's undergarments and accessories in one suitcase and the costume inside a blue clothes bag. You explained it to Felix and thankfully, he understood.

"Alright, I need you dressed up first." You said as you handed him the hanger with his costume. He was going to wear a black leather jacket, white inner shirt, and red & black checkered pants today and you would be lying if you weren't excited to see him in that outfit again the same as yesterday's rehearsals, especially when he'd wear that heart choker.

You set up your station and laid all the makeup, brushes, and everything important on the table for easy access while waiting for Felix to get dressed. A few moments later, he went back to you and quickly sat on the chair, with a hint of discomfort on his face.

"You okay? Are the pants too tight?" You asked him as he was squirming a little bit, adjusting the hem and belt of his pants. "Did you successfully put on that complicated belt?"

"No, it's good and yes, I managed to secure the belt." He said and settled down so you could style his hair. Felix was playing a game on his phone while you styled his hair, dry rehearsals were moved to a later time due to unforeseen circumstances so everyone had time to chill in the dressing room. Other members who were done with costumes and hair were either eating, napping, or playing games. Makeup would be put on later at least 1-2 hours before the show.

"Hey uh, y/n? Is my hair done already?" Felix asked and you notice him squeeze his thighs a bit.

"Yes. All done." You answered and put down the hair spray and put a clip on the middle part of his bangs to make sure his hair will be well parted. You went in front of Felix to do his skincare before putting on makeup. "Let me just prep your skin and then you can go rest for a bit."

Felix nodded. You leveled your face to his and saw that his face was turning into a light shade of pink and he was sweating a little even though the AC was on full blast.

"Woah, are you okay? You feeling sick?" You asked him with a worried tone and felt his forehead. He wasn't having a fever even though his cheeks were now completely flushed. Felix shook his head.

"Can I..can I go change my pants while I..rest?" Felix sighed. You thought maybe the pants were really that tight and he was just pretending earlier so you checked it only to see a full-on erection. Felix scratched the armrest, and you could see he was uncomfortable and that must be painful.

"Sure," you said and you handed him his sweatpants. "Um..sorry I can't help but notice but can you stand?" You whispered to him. He looked at you with puppy dog eyes, afraid and embarrassed with his situation of having a full visible erection this early in the morning with no triggers. Felix didn't know what was happening to his body, all he feels is that he is hot, horny, and aching for release as soon as possible.

"I'm s-sorry. I don't know what's happening to me." Felix apologized and tried to cover his hard on with the sweatpants you handed him.

"It's okay. Probably just a delayed morning wood, yeah?" You said trying to reassure him it wasn't making you uncomfortable. He nodded and you helped him stand up. He winced when he did, the tight restraints of the pants probably squeezing him painfully tight. You didn't want to think of it as hot that you can finally see the outline of Felix's dick, but you couldn't help it. With the time you spent with Felix, you couldn't help but get a little crush on this remarkable man.

Hyunjin approached Felix with the skz-talker camera but then quickly shut it off when he noticed something wasn't right. "You okay, Lix?" Hyunjin asked as he saw you escorting Felix who can barely walk.

"He has a stomachache. Just tell them he went to the bathroom when someone asks okay?" You answered for Felix since you noticed he couldn't form words anymore. Hyunjin nodded.

"I'll ask someone to fetch medicine for you, okay Lixie-ah?" Hyunjin said.

You assisted him to the PWD bathroom so he could have his privacy and he went inside. You promised you'd wait for him outside with a small towel and wet wipes in your bag to clean up with. A few minutes in, Felix peeked his head out and called you.

"I'm sorry to ask you but I can't seem to unbuckle this stupid belt." Felix shyly asked. He had a complicated belt on, easy to put on but difficult to remove and you didn't know why Junsuk insisted on this. You looked down the hallway to see if anyone was around and good thing it was empty and the restroom was at the far end of the hallway.

You went inside and locked the door just in case. Felix held himself on the rails, panting and biting his lip. You proceeded to unbuckle his complex belt, removing first that weird out-of-place lock then the three buttons that were holding the excess so it won't dangle while dancing. You accidentally brushed on his dick which made him quiver. He was so needy and desperate for touch and your heart couldn't handle him suffering like that, you wanted to offer a helping hand. You mustered your courage when you finally removed the belt and hung it on the rail.

"D-do you want some help with uh, with this?" You asked him.

His eyes quickly dart to you with a flustered look. He blinked and nodded, too horny to say no but still a little shy to say yes.

"Umm...If it's okay with you." He said, avoiding your gaze.

"Yeah, it's okay with me." You gave him a reassuring smile and proceeded to unbutton his pants. He wiggled from the tight restraints and his cock sprung free, all flushed and leaking with precum.

"Fuck." Felix whimpered when you wrapped your hand around his thick member. You've only imagined this as one of your guilty pleasures but now you finally got to see it in all its glory. You stroked him a little before you spit on his cock. You clearly saw it twitch and his eyes were glued on you, watching you stroke his wet cock deliciously.

Felix tightened his grip on the rails, your hand just felt so good stroking his cock that he involuntary bucked his hips to meet with your strokes. Your face was close to Felix's and you swear you could feel your wetness pooling between your thighs.

"Feel good?" You asked him and he nodded fervently.

"Yes, fuck yes!" Felix moaned. You didn't expect him to be loud, of course you liked hearing him moan it was music to your ears but someone else might hear.

"Sshh..someone might hear you." You whisper in his ear and Felix felt shivers down his spine when you grazed his earlobe. You cover his mouth and stared at him while you quickened the pace. Up, down, up, down, oh how dumbed down he was watching your hand move on his dick and hearing lewd sounds coming from it. He wondered what it would feel with your pretty mouth wrapped around it but he'll take what he can get right now. His cock twitched imagining things and you knew he was close. As much as you wanted to stay like this with him and deny him his release until he begs for it, you had a schedule to keep. Maybe you'll get another opportunity.

Squelching, muffled moans, and shaky breaths were all you could hear in the restroom. Felix was bucking his hips to meet your strokes. His whimpers and moans became louder and you could feel him drooling over your hand without thought, you removed your hand from his mouth to hear him, not caring about anything anymore but him. You just stared at him in awe of having this gorgeous man a slave to your touch.

"Gonna cum!" He huffed.

"Alright, cum for me now. That's it.." You encouraged him and that sent him over the edge. Felix let out the deepest, sexiest groan you have ever heard as his muscles tightened, eyes screwed shut, dick twitching, and spilling his cum all over your hand and on the floor. You wrapped your free arm around his waist to hold him up as his knees weakened. You guided him on a plastic chair inside the bathroom before you went to clean yourself up then the floor. There was so much cum, he probably hadn't released for weeks.

"T-thanks y/n.." Felix said when he finally catches his breath.

"Anytime, Lix." You winked, got the small towel and wipes from your bag, and handed it to him. "Now, go get cleaned up and I'll wait for you in the dressing room okay?" You said and Felix nodded.

"This isn't going to change anything between us, right?" Felix asked, worried that these events would change the relationship you two had.

"It would or it won't." You answered which made Felix more worried but you reassured him instead, saying what really was going through your mind without shame. "What I mean is, we could do this again sometimes or we could just pretend it didn't happen." You shrugged acting all cool about it when you really want Felix to say he wanted to do this again too.

"I would..love to do this again..with you." He shyly said and that made your heart flutter.

"Then things between us are going to change. For the better though." You giggled and kissed his cheek.

You went back to the dressing room and waited for Felix there. Hyunjin handed you the medicine he got for Felix. He was worried but you told him that Felix will be alright and he sighed in relief. You loved how the members worry and care for each other.

Felix came back to the dressing room and approached you immediately telling you a slight little problem.

"It's back." Felix whispered. He was already wearing loose sweatpants so it wasn't showing but you could feel that he was uncomfortable.

"Again? But you just.." You trailed off.

"I don't know what's happening to me..I'm not even thinking of something lewd." Felix said, a little panicked.

"Well, your dry rehearsals start in an hour. We don't have the time.." You said, already rushing him to sit down on the chair to do his skin prep and makeup.

"It's fine. It doesn't hurt the way it did earlier. I can manage but the..bulge." He said. He was going to wear those skinny pants back and he was worried it would be visible for the whole world to see.

You thought of an idea to alter his costume at the last minute. You called your colleague to fetch the skirt that Hyunjin rejected to wear and made Felix wear it instead to cover what he needs to be covered.

"Let's just deal with it after the show, yeah?" You winked and that made Felix bite his lip in anticipation.

After the show ended, you found yourself pinned to the wall of your apartment by Felix, kissing you hungrily like a starved wolf. No more boundaries, he said. You kept on kissing and groping each other, discarding your clothes one by one as you made your way to your bedroom with only your underwear now. You both fell onto the bed and you were above him when he quickly flipped the two of you so that he was on top. His hard cock pressed onto your thighs as his hand ripped the thin fabric covering your core.

"I'll buy you lots of new ones tomorrow," Felix growled and bit your neck.

The needy and whiny Felix earlier was gone. His eyes were darker than usual. Your lips were now swollen from the kissing and biting since the elevator but you didn't mind at all, you were both craving each other. His fingers dipped into your soaking wet core and rubbed your clit in circles.

"Fuck yes!" You moaned and tangled your fingers in his hair.

"Already so wet for me. Shit." He moaned. "Gonna take good care of you tonight."

He kissed you one last time before he latched his lips on your nipple. He circled his tongue around it until it was hard then proceeded to the other one. He trailed kisses down to your stomach until he reached your core. He held the back of your thighs, pushed them up, and aggressively sucked your sensitive clit which made you arch your back. He licked and sucked on every good spot, his saliva running down his chin, so messy, so hot. He inserted a finger as he flicked your clit with his tongue. It felt so good that you felt that familiar knot in your stomach already. 

"Gonna..cum," you moaned as you grabbed his hair.

"Gonna cum for me, yeah?" Felix cooed as he quickened his pace in finger fucking you and sucking your clit which was driving you insane. You arched your back as you dissolved into pleasure, your walls spasming and contracting on Felix's finger. After you came down from your high, you pulled Felix up to see the mess you'd made on his face and God was it such a luscious sight. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand before you pushed him down the bed, straddled and kissed him, tasting yourself on his mouth. You trailed kisses down his neck, to his chest, and abs, then down to the hem of his boxers.

"I've been dying to put this cock in my mouth earlier." You groaned and removed his boxers.

"And I've been dying to know what that pretty little mouth feels like." Felix bit his lip as your lips hovered over the tip of his already leaking cock.

He hissed when you licked the tip, small, kitten licks enough to make him go insane. He threw his head back and closed his eyes as he felt your warm mouth envelope his cock. So warm, so wet, oh it felt better than what he had imagined. You hollowed your cheeks and took all of him in your mouth. Giving him occasional deep throats that made you gag with how big he is. You swirled your tongue as you moved your head up and down his thick cock and that was it for him, he moaned loudly and unconsciously bucked his hips. You popped his dick out of your mouth to stare at his blissful face.

"Good?" You asked him with a smirk.

"Fuck, it's better than what I've imagined." He smiled. "C'mere."

He pulled you up to kiss him, and you positioned your aching, dripping cunt over the tip of his cock and slowly sank down on his cock. He filled you up nice and good. You moved slowly, adjusting to his girth.

"What got you so riled up today, hm?" You asked him as you slowly moved up and down his cock, his hands squeezing your waist and his lips parted.

"I really don't know, and you being all pretty and sexy earlier was not helping me at all." He said as he looked at you with pure lust. He planted his feet on the bed and started pounding into you hard and deep hitting that one delightful spot inside of you which made you clench around his cock.

"Yes, Felix, right there! Oh god!" You moaned.

"So tight.." Felix huffed before he flipped you over, your back now pressed on the soft mattress, his hands holding himself up as he pounded into you with a brutal pace, chasing his release. He ran his thumb over your lips and pushed it into your mouth which you lewdly sucked on to, covering it with spit then ran his wet thumb over your clit and rubbed it fast.

"fuck 'm cumming again.." You let out a breathy moan as your walls tightened around his cock when you were reaching your peak and it all came crashing down, feeling every bit of pleasure radiate on your entire body as you came hard for the second time.

"Gonna cum too.." Felix groaned.

"Go on, fill me up, nice and good," you purred and reached for his face to kiss him and that was enough to send Felix over the edge, and with one last powerful thrust, he came, spilling his hot cum inside you.

After a few minutes or so, Felix asked for another round, then another until you both finally tapped out. Lying on the bed, all sweaty, messy, and out of breath.

"Wow." He sighed.

"How many years of pent-up frustration was that?" You laughed.

"I have no fucking idea." He chuckled, not believing in the slightest he has that kind of stamina in bed. His phone rang and it was Minho.

"Hyung, what's up?" Felix answered.

Did you take my sex enhancement pills?

"Excuse me, what enhancement?! I only took my vitamin c and b-complex. Why do you have sex enhancement pills?!"

None of your business and Seungmin and Innie didn't take them either and I found the bottle on the kitchen counter.

"Oh, I left it on the--oh shit"

You took one, didn't you? Good thing no side effects happened. Please read the label next time, Yongbok-ah. I don't want you to get sick or get in trouble.

"Sorry hyung, I'll be careful next time."

Minho ended the call and Felix explained everything to you and that made you understand why Felix was horny all day and had so much energy for a few rounds in bed.

"I should ask Minho where he buys them, you know, for research purposes." Felix smiled.

all of this is because of christmas evel felix & cosmopolitan felix

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[g4yforethan]

favorite

pairing: danny brackett x male!reader

summary: reader moves in across from danny and after a movie, cute things happen!

warnings: smut, cursing

a/n: i don’t know who or what to write about :( my inbox is open for suggestions !

you had just moved in to your new apartment. you were in new york for college and needed a place to stay. you have found a good deal on a new apartment and went for it. after settling in, it was getting late and you decided to go to get some pizza. you walked out to the entrance of the apartment complex when you bumped into a guy on the way out. “ah damn sorry bout that man.” “oh no it’s all good don’t worry bout it.” he was cute. really cute and he thought the same about you. “you just moved in?” “yeah today was move in day. i’m apartment 2-C” “no fucking way dude. you’re right across from me.” you gave a poker face not wanting him to know you were extremely excited you lived right across from him.

“oh really. that’s so cool. well i’m going to get some pizza right now so i’ll be back. it was nice meeting tho you. i’m y/n by the way.” “well y/n i’m danny. i’ll let you do your thing. if you need anything, i’m right across.” you give him a handshake but he goes in for a hug unexpectedly. a few weeks pass and the two of you got closer. one night, danny was over for pizza and a movie. you chose horror so that if you got scared, you could get close to him and it worked. anytime there was a jumpscare, you grabbed onto his arm and he always laughed and held you tight. by the time the movie ended, danny asked if he could stay the night. it was almost 2 in the morning so you figured why not? "here i'll go get you some blankets and a pillows so you can sleep on the couch." "woah woah. i wasn't planning on sleeping on the couch tonight?" you're confused.

"then where else silly?" "i was thinking with you. but if not it's cool." he looked like he was wishing you would say yes and you did. he took his shirt and got into bed with you. you were shy. 1 because you had never had a guy in your bed before and 2 because your crush was in bed with you! "you know i think you're pretty cute y/n. something about you just gets me going." you blushed harder than ever. "well thank you danny. i mean i've kinda had a crush on you ever since we met." "me too i ain't gon lie. but right now what i really want is this." he pulls you onto his lap and starts to kiss your neck as you do his shoulders. he takes off your shirt and starts to unbuckle your pants.

you were rushed with the feeling of adrenaline and craved danny and his body more and more. you went down and gave small kisses on his belly and unbuckled his pants, revealing his big and pretty dick. you started to bobble your head up and down as danny grabbed your hair. "fuck yeah baby just like that. you're so good at this shit." his raspy, masculine voice turned you on even more and just like that, danny was ready."fuck bae i think i'm gonna-" you stick your tounge out trying to catch every last bit of what danny released. you get up and give him another kiss. "damn, i think ima have to stay over every night then." you laughed and kissed him, resting your head on his chest as you and him talked the rest of the night.

[gofancyninjaworld]

No one is born knowing how to communicate

A: And that's okay...

Dr Kuseno made it look so easy. He just swanned into Saitama's apartment, proferred him a gift of beef and the hero's hostility melted away.

Fubuki felt positively foolish, and yet encouraged.

Since then, however, she's found that the only thing meat bribes pull in are dogs. Literal dogs:

And even dogs need more than meat to be loyal.

What gives? Well, it's obvious that Fubuki mistook Dr Kuseno's gift for a bribe: more on that later. Probably. And yeah, it's funny, but it's more interesting than that.

Learning how to communicate is complex. There are a ludicrous number of unspoken conventions and rules in every human society, so much so that we don't fully learn how to smile socially until we're in our forties. Dr Kuseno carefully judged his gift: he had a legitimate reason to offer Saitama a gift in the first place, out of gratitude for Saitama going out of his way to mentor Genos. Then he chose a gift Saitama would be sure to appreciate and presented it at a time when Saitama would be thinking about dinner. The worst that could have happened is that Saitama took the gift but insisted on the doctor going home (and taking Genos with him) -- it would still have left the desired positive impression. And things went really well. Kuseno made it look effortless.

Fubuki is only in her early twenties and her experience to date has been far from typical. She's learned that either she can intimidate people or she can flatter them into doing what she wants. With Saitama (and later Bang, Bomb, and Kuseno), she has to learn how to talk to more powerful people whom she cannot overpower, over whom she has no leverage, and who are unimpressed by her looks, simpering, or flattery.

Fortunately, Fubuki is nothing if not astute. She's worked out that she needs to develop complementary skills if she's to make herself useful to the S-Class heroes she wants to hang with. How to talk to them to get the help and cooperation she desires? Ah, that's a work in progress.

B: ...Unless it's not

Let's move onto another miscommunication.

Something that I hadn't before was that, unlike the webcomic version where Saitama only thinks to himself that Genos seems depressed, in the manga, Saitama out and out asks him if this is the case. He wants to know.

It mirrors King asking Saitama that very same question and getting Saitama to open up and be vulnerable for the first time (ever, in any version of the story). So it is very appropriate to see Saitama trying to do the same for Genos, particularly as he is openly fond of the guy.

However, it goes wrong. Saitama feels himself under pressure to say something wise to make it better. So he puts on his best 'confident' face and inadvertently makes everything much worse. Oh dear. What makes this particularly painful in the manga is that Saitama is much more invested in trying to reach Genos, and it's made Genos think that Saitama saying that he doesn't see what he's doing must mean that earlier times when he's praised him must have been just Saitama being nice. For sure, Genos could have pushed back and made Saitama clarify what he meant, but he's even worse at communicating: and Saitama's glib remark about being bright struck him square in the insecurities.

I'm going to come to something that I only realised once I started typing this up. Even though I've pointed out their abilities to communicate, neither King nor Kuseno have the perfect words to say. Kuseno started out by first committing a faux pas in bringing his great big outside boots into Saitama's flat, then nearly boring Saitama to death with a long-winded explanation. King started out by trying to guess what was bothering Saitama. Both, however, did the most important thing about effective communication: they picked up on their going wrong and changed tack.

It's not about saying the right thing: it's about responding to the person you're talking to.

The thing that King did that Saitama was trying to do for Genos was to ask Saitama open questions, and shut up in the interim, letting Saitama talk to fill in the silence. He'd only speak to ask more open questions when Saitama ran out of things to say, and through that, gently started to challenge Saitama's thinking.

But doing so means being comfortable with several seconds of silence. And that is excruciating. It is almost irresistible to jump in and say something, anything. And it would have been a longish wait, for Genos to slowly sit down and decide to start speaking, which might well have started being about something only tangentially related to his worry. King did that for Saitama: Saitama started out talking about what was bothering him on the surface -- being too strong -- before eventually coming to what was really bothering him, feeling lonely and profoundly isolated from everyone around him. Saitama does not yet know how to wait a person out.

It's a problem in this case because it's introduced a big barrier between those two, not an insurmountable one for sure, but one that could easily compound later.

Ah well, no one is born a communicator. We just have to wait and see if they work out a way to open up and be honest with each other. So it goes! There's more ways to introduce conflicts than to have a monster trample Tokyo, after all!

And so help me, the struggle to learn how to communicate is 1000% worthwhile.

[bnha-more-like-bnh-gay]

Izuku having a day off, just to relax and class was not informed. Entire class freaks out thinking izuku went on another vigilante arc and run around like like headless chickens looking for him.

Izuku was found at an animal shelter were he was petting a therapy kitten

Izuku now is required to have a tracker at all times.

SORRY I TOOK FOREVER TO REPLY

But bestie, you are so correct 😭😭😭

Izuku is convinced by his mother and/or all might to take a day off

He doesn’t think much about having to tell anyone where he’s going or what he’s doing, but he wants to take a walk!

Well, tragedy strikes when someone asks if he wants to train or study with them. He’s Not In His Room.

He isn’t in his room????

Why isn’t Midoriya problem child izuku not in his room or anywhere to be found on campus right after a vigilante stunt?

Things devolve from there.

No notes this time, but is that a good or bad sign? Who’s to say?

Aizawa is so tired. He is loath to admit that he cares for his problem child, but he is still his to protect and where the fuck did that little shit run off to now?

Why can’t this small child with a literal hero complex just talk to him for once in his all too young life?

All might, despite being one of the ones to encourage izuku to take a day off, is very much freaking out

Where is his boy?

Where is he???

Class A is. So stressed. Aizawa doesn’t want them to help search for him, because he tries to remind them that it could just be nothing, maybe he went home to see his mother! That sounds like him!

But after a call to Inko, he is even more tired. Midoriya is not there. Inko is now worried as well.

He tells the class not to go searching for him, but nobody listens.

I like to think that inko is the most calm in this situation. She’s like, oh, he’s probably just going for a run or walking around! Yeah, he likes to be outside! He’s such an energetic kid! I’m so proud of him! And class A and the teachers are just in shambles

Eventually, they pass an inconspicuous little pet store on their search for the green bean

Someone sees a fluffy green head of hair and all but sprints into the shop with little explanation other than, “THERE!”

Izuku is none the wiser about the hectic day his friends and mentors have been having.

He had turned his phone off :(

He didn’t want to frighten the kittens if he got a call :(

They’re so soft, guys and they just want love and affection :(

Aizawa stalks up to the store in all his angsty ways like the grim reaper and tells izuku that UA is going to implement a system where leaving the campus requires a staff member to be told beforehand and to accompany the student. No exceptions.

It’s a shame no one had talked to nezu really. He had been watching the whole time. Ah, love and learn. Maybe next time

I love this prompt so much, dude 😭😭 thank you so much! I hope you enjoyed!!!!! Have a good and safe day/night/evening/etc!!!!

[srovtl]

(Warmth that Flows Through His Hands) Figaro SSR Card Story Translation

The feelings we put into the weave - Episode 1

That day, we were all investigating a mansion where something strange might have happened due to the calamity.

Akira: It's really impressive... There are all kinds of stuff on the shelves and walls. Are all of these good luck charms?

Figaro: It seems like the owner of this place was a person who really believed in good luck. Well, leaving aside their effectiveness, I think most of the things here are good luck charms.

Figaro: Now then, looks like there's nothing suspicious in this room, so let's go to the next room.

Akira: Yes.

Figaro and I moved to the next room, where we found Bradley inspecting the items on the shelves.

Akira: Bradley. Did you find anything suspicious?

Bradley: Don't know if it's suspicious or not, but this room has some pretty expensive stuff in it.

Bradley: Look, this thing is made from pretty high quality thread.

Figaro: Huh? That's…

With a grin on his face, Bradley showed me what appeared to be a hand-knitted coaster.

It was a beautiful item, carefully woven with complex patterns and made with a variety of expensive-looking threads, like silk.

Akira: ...Um, Bradley. Just to confirm, what are you planning to do with it?

Bradley: Come on, Sage. That's a rude question.

Bradley: You do know what a thief's job is, right?

Akira: (W-Well yeah I do but...!)

Figaro: You know, That might be my good luck charm.

Bradley: What?

Akira: Figaro's… Does that mean it's something Figaro had before?

Figaro: No, I granted it to a human.

Akira: That's amazing…!

Bradley: eww

Figaro: To be precise, it's something that I taught to people who came to seek wisdom to pray for the safety of their families who went to work away from home. I told them that it would be good to make a good luck charm like this.

Figaro: It seems to be made in a very similar way, so I think that's probably it.

Bradley: This is the worst… It's not a good luck charm, it's a cursed item.

With a dejected look on his face, Bradley threw the good luck charm at Figaro.

Figaro: Oh, you don't want it?

Figaro: It's made from such fine thread though.

Bradley: Do you think I want it after hearing what you just said?

Figaro coolly brushes off the words and gently picks up the amulet. Now that it's in his hands, the pattern looks clearer than before.

Akira: (Amazing... Looking closer, it's more intricately woven than I thought it would be.)

Figaro: Well, I'll admit, this one suits you better than this one.

As he says this, Figaro points to a hanging ornament with a light blue base and white marbled stones set into it.

The feelings we put into the weave - Episode 2

Bradley: The stone this one has... is a weather vane stone.

Bradley: Then, it's a charm for luck in games. It certainly suits me.

Figaro: Right?

Akira: You knew what kind of charm it was just by looking at the stone?

Bradley: Well, the stone itself has a meaning.

Figaro: It's said that if you wear a weather vane stone, you'll be stronger in crucial games.

Akira: (I wonder if it's something like power stones in my world? Different stones have different meanings...)

Akira: I see... I learned something. You two are very knowledgeable.

Bradley: Well, I didn't see so many treasures just to have nothing to show for it.

Bradley: If you're interested, I'll explain it to you in a way that's easier to understand than asking this guy.

Bradley seemed a little pleased, so I decided to be honest and ask him.

Akira: So, I was wondering, what kind of charm is this wooden ornament?

Bradley: I've never seen this before.

Bradley: The carving and painting are sloppy, and it looks like it's going to be expensive...

The moment Bradley picked up the wooden ornament, dust flew around him.

Everyone: Oh.

Bradley: …………A, ah, achooo!

Akira: Bradley!

Akira: W-What should we do? It's the injury from the calamity. What If he got sent to some weird place….

Arthur: Whoa, Bradley!? I was surprised when you suddenly appeared!

Figaro, Akira: .........

Figaro: Haha. It looks like he was just sent to another room in this mansion.

Akira: It seems so.... Ah, thank goodness.

Akira: But what was that wooden ornament supposed to be for? Bradley took it away...

Figaro: Oh, that? It's a lucky charm for household safety, you often see it in southern countries.

Figaro: It's for the health of the family, of course, but also to keep thieves from breaking into the house.

Akira: ...Oh, boss…

Figaro laughed and put the knitted charm back on the shelf. Then he muttered with deep emotion.

Figaro: But that woodcarving was surprisingly effective. It was trying to drive the leader of the Death Thieves out of here.

Figaro: I thought it was just some sort of placebo like this one.

Akira: What? Placebo...?

Figaro: See, that hanging charm from earlier had a "weather vane stone" that was supposed to increase luck in games, right?

Figaro: But there's no evidence that this charm contains any luck effect nor does it have any ancient legend behind it.

The feelings we put into the weave - Episode 3

Figaro's long fingers gently stroke the intricately woven pattern of the amulet as he puts it back on the shelf.

Figaro: What I taught them was that it doesn't matter what kind of thread you use, but make it with your own hands, carefully, over time, and with love.

Figaro: That way, the person setting off on a journey will feel the hearts of their family waiting for them at home, and will unconsciously be careful to ensure their safe return for their sake...

Figaro: And for those who are leaving, the act of making a hand-made amulet itself will be more comforting than just praying without doing anything. That's what I thought.

I think I understand the meaning behind the complex, not so easy to weave pattern.

The person who knits it can see the feelings they put into the finished product...

The person who receives it will remember every time they see it that someone knitted something just for them.

Akira: (Although Figaro said it was just a placebo...)

Akira: I think it's a charm that really resonates with you. I always thought of charms as things that change your environment, relationships, or the things around you...

Akira: But maybe they can also give you peace of mind, hope, or have a wonderful effect on people's hearts in that way.

Figaro: That's a nice thing to say. If that's how the sage thinks, then my charm had a purpose other than just a placebo effect.

Figaro: Anyway, originally, it was meant to be something that anyone who wanted it could make...

Figaro: As it was passed down, I guess people started to pay more attention to the ingredients.

Seeing the expensive-looking finished product, Figaro gave a bitter smile.

Akira: Maybe someone thought that using better ingredients would definitely make it more effective.

Figaro: Well, that's true. it's not like I can't understand that feeling.

Figaro: I mean, if I was going to give it to the Sage, I'd be excited and gather the best materials too.

Figaro said with a joking tone and a wink. It was the look he often made when he praised me and teased me.

But when I imagined that "what if" scenario, my heart warmed.

Akira: ...No matter what materials Figaro used, if he took the time and effort to make a lucky charm like that, I'd be happy about that.

Figaro: Hahaha... I can't compete with the sage's straightforwardness. I wanted to make you feel excited, but I ended up being the one who got excited.

Figaro: I'm not joking, if the time comes I'll put my heart into each and every strand.

Figaro's eyes closed softly. He had that gentle gaze as if he was holding the memory of that someday in his heart.

Figaro: No matter where you go, I hope you can return to the magic house...

Figaro: And when you've completed your role, I hope you can return safely to your world.

Card Episode - What can stained glass ward off?

Akira: The mansion I visited the other day had a lot of lucky charms, but is there any charm that you've come across that has left a particular impression on you?

Figaro: Hmm... I guess the charm that wards off the northern wizards is one that left an impression on me.

Akira: Oh, so there's something like that!

Figaro: Do you know that Lord Snow and Lord White give stained glass that they make to the people they protect?

Akira: Yes. I've seen it stuck in a window in the ice town.

Akira: If I remember right,  in the north, if there's a work by the two of them in a window, other wizards don't do anything bad to it because they assume it's Snow and White's territory.

Figaro: That's right. But someone saw it and misunderstood, and made a stained glass charm for themselves.

Akira: So... he assumed stained glass itself is something that northern wizards don't like? So the charm doesn't have any particular effect...

Figaro: It doesn't have much, does it? Because it's just stained glass made by humans, and not even based on the two's work.

Figaro: There's no magic in it, and if you know the characteristics of their works, you definitely won't be fooled.

Akira: I see... Then Figaro can see through it right away.

Figaro: Haha, that's right. Well, I don't need to be able to tell if the charm that wards off the northern wizards is real or not.

Figaro: Because I'm a good and kind southern wizard.

homescreen voice line

Even if you want to help someone, not many people are able to take action. I mean, basically, everyone values and cherishes themselves more than others. That's a natural way of thinking for those who don't have much power to survive. So I think the Sage is a bit strange. Of course, I mean that in a good way.

[anonzentimes]

hiya zen ! i'm sorry if this has been asked before but it just seemed like such a fun concept to explore.

on to the question, which of the seven deadly sins do you think fits nagito best ? honestly, he's so complex and putting him into a small box is already difficult enough as it is, but combined with the fact that... pretty much none of them are accurate to his character, it's pretty difficult to tell.

i've seen people (on r/danganronpa, so not too surprising) say he's wrath, which feels ,,, iffy to me. that doesn't feel like it fits him at all. his desire of wanting the very best for others seems to contrast with wrath. honestly, willing to bet those people just went "oh evil person who does bad things bc it's fun ok must be wrath then".

one i have mixed feelings about is envy, which... fits hajime better than nagito imo. sure, his entire worldview is kind of based around talent, but it doesn't feel like jealousy to me. the core of his character is that: due to trauma and the talent-obsessed society around him, he starts to hate himself... and instead of trying to desperately give everything away to change that like hajime , he just... accepts it. he accepts it as a part of himself, or hell, as the entirety of himself, as if that was all there was to him. hell, he even states *twice* that he doesn't envy the ultimates. once in the beginning of chapter 2 during his monologue, where he states that:

"Ah, just so you know, what I feel is different from admiration."

"Admiration is... wishing you could be like the object of your admiration."

"But, what I feel is more... pure. More like a selfless love that wants nothing in return."

And, once at... the beginning of the OVA i think ??? it's been a long time since i rewatched it so I don't really remember but he says something about how... the star of the show is such a demanding role, and how he'd rather remain as he is or something ???

pride is crossed off for obvious reasons LMFAO.

greed isn't accurate to him either. his only motivations are for others, not for himself. and even then, he wishes for an " absolute hope that can overcome any despair " . he doesn't even wish for an material possessions, if that makes sense. can hope be found through those material possessions ? i mean , probably. but like... what he wishes for is.. not only selfless , but also... so abstract ? i don't think he'd be a big fan of the idea that you could achieve pure hope through something material. he views it as absolute good, an absolute good like that would usually be found in other things than just something so limiting as material possessions. I'm pretty unsure about this part though.

lust is... eh. lust is almost always interpreted in a sexual sense, but it can also work in other contexts, though i'm not sure what definition would be in that case. i guess he's lustful for wanting the best for people LOL ??? that sounds so weird.

the people who say nagito is horny all the time would argue nagito is lustful in the sexual sense, and i mean , maybe but not really ? we know he compares hope to sex in one of the songs written by megumi ogata (which i'll consider canon), but he we also know that he absolutely isn't a sex freak by any means and in the games and anime, is actually pretty chaste. he also views sex as something intimate to share with a person he loves. something to share with a person who loves him enough to be intimate with him as well, and pretty much just... mutual expression of trust and intimacy ? i'd interpret lust to be like.. sex obsessed, pretty much. which, of course, kind of contradicts nagito.

anyway, i briefly considered sloth for him, in the sense that he doesn't want to put in effort to achieve something great for himself. it's all for others. he's never going to put in effort for something if it is self-serving, and... even though he ends up significantly influencing other people's lives, he plays a much more passive role in his own life if that makes any sense ????? oh, and it could also be telling of his luck in a way, in the sense that he's kind of... bound to it and can't escape it ? i have no idea 😭 to be honest, this one is atleast slightly understandable, unlike all the others which are just blatantly inaccurate to his character LMFAO.

i don't know, those are just my thoughts. what do you think ?

I just need you to know what I was giggling and kicking my feet over how much of a Nagito understander you are,,, this is such an interesting question it absolutely has not been asked before!!!

That being said, I’m honestly on the same page as you are. I’m a little stumped since none of them really describe Nagito properly? Sloth is the closest one that you could twist into a way of it fitting him, but otherwise most of the others are blatantly inaccurate to important aspects of his character??? I know that isn’t really helpful, but man is it hard to assign him one when he’s so unique. Nagito and Hajime are different sides of the same coin, and I don’t think Nagito’s selfless love, “envy,” or “admiration,” fits into any of the boxes that are provided. The end result feels like he doesn’t fit any of them, but the goal here is to assign him at least one of them right? So I guess Sloth in this situation is the best option, supposedly reflecting specific aspects of him and how he basically never does anything self serving. I mean, at the end of the day I’d like to have slightly understandable over blatant mischaracterization LMAO. So yeah, I think I would agree with Sloth over the others.

Thank you for your ask, this was so interesting to think about!! It made me so happy to read how thoroughly you thought about this, and how much you understand his character <3

[meimi-haneoka]

Musings

I was scrolling through my TL this morning and I stumbled again on a certain scene from volume 8 of xxxHolic.

I went "...ah" and shook my head, smiling.

Then I started writing a thread with my musings, but it became so long that I decided to pour them here instead.

The scene in question was this one. The Spider Lady and Watanuki.

Kimihiro Watanuki and Yuna D. Kaito. Two boys who have initially no idea what they're doing on this earth, what their life is worth for, growing up alone, quick to throw their life away to make others happy. Although in personality Watanuki and Kaito are very different, this one complex aspect brings them closer.

I couldn't help being reminded how CLAMP love to portray this particular theme in several of their stories, almost as if they were tormented by it.

Clear Card Arc introduced the theme of self-sacrifice, with all its devastating effects, in a series where it hadn't been explored deeply yet. First in a milder way with Syaoran, but I think we all agree that the character who brought that message home the most is indeed Kaito.

Yet, I really appreciate how this doesn't turn everytime into the "same reheated soup", as we say in italian, because each series' approach is different from the get go.

Holic addresses several thematics straightforwardly, without sugarcoating them. All the volumes are brimming with life lessons and impactful lines that corner you and force you to think about life and your relationship with others. Sometimes those truths are hard, like a slap in your face. It's no wonder that the entire "Phrase" area of the CLAMP exhibition was all dedicated to Holic. Its portrayal of the thematic of self-sacrifice follows the same pattern, and one example is the criticism from the Spider Lady directed at Watanuki in the aforementioned volume. He will leave that encounter having learned something very important from those words.

For CCS, on the other hand, CLAMP have always chosen a different approach, fitting for its genre and demographic.

Although there are several nourishing lessons we can get from it as well, the messages are usually always passed without judgement. It seems CLAMP prefer letting the characters go through things, make their own decisions, their own mistakes, learn and grow firsthand from them. The thing we hear the most in the entire series is "Look in your heart, find the answer in yourself".

And despite how often Momo gets angry at Kaito, as an impartial magical beast she's prevented from doing a speech similar to that of the Spider Lady. While many might think that would've worked best, the world view and narrative structure of CCS is different from that.

In the same way, CLAMP leave the readers free to perceive and take the message home as they want, guided by the characters' actions rather than their explicit thoughts and spelled out words of wisdom.

While in Holic it's clearer what their stance on a certain topic or thematic is, in CCS things are more blurred and nuanced. The events are presented as they are, resting on a delicate balance, as if asking you "This is what happened. Everything considered, what do you think?", making an effort to not pass a judgement along so you can make your own idea of it.

We never get anyone lecturing Kaito for what he did, nor looking down upon him, because that's not CCS' language and there's no need for it. The characters understand the sentiment that moved Kaito, even though that's not treated as a justification for the path he chose. The message will be conveyed eloquently enough by facts - Akiho's tears full of anger in chapter 78. Rather than choosing to make a character lecture him harshly, CLAMP "left" Kaito dealing directly with the consequences of his actions, in order for him to look into his heart and learn a lesson from it. More than the act of deciding her happiness on her behalf, Akiho is furious because Kaito crumpled his life and threw it away in the trash in the attempt of saving her and giving her a happy life.

This approach is totally in line with CCS' compassionate world view. A world view that tries to cause changes in the world guided by kindness, refraining from applying prejudices and dispensing judgement upon others.

But beware, comparing the two approaches to the same thematic doesn't mean that one is better than the other: depending on the situation, sometimes we need the frankness of Holic, sometimes the sensitivity of CCS.

It is in my opinion pretty wonderful how the same theme can be communicated in different ways, choosing different paths, approaches, just like in these two examples here.

Two different approaches for the theme, but same conclusion: once we form connections with others, we don't belong to ourselves alone anymore. We're not free to dispose of our life without affecting other people who share that bond with us.

We may think we're not important, that we can come second or third or last behind everyone else as long as they're happy, but that's not true. Seeing us suffering, or missing our presence will ultimately make other people cry. Even people we didn't really think they could ever love us.

So cherish your life, always. Today you're doing it for your loved ones, tomorrow you'll learn to do it for yourself, too. ❤️

[canarysage]

…make reply icons?

reply icons (or as i call em, replycons) are a weird kind of edit. they’re in the same genre as rentry or carrd graphics—i.e., that you can do whatever you want with no real rules. that said, these are some guidelines i follow

i. make your canvas much wider than it is tall

there’s no exact measurement for this. my reply icons for this blog are 600x150, but they’re fairly uniquely small. the general consensus at least amongst my peers is about a 4:1 or 3:1 ratio will work best.

the reason why your replycons should be wider than longer is because it keeps them from taking up a lot of space. here’s mine as an example:

enough space to be visible, but not so much as to be obnoxious. that should generally be your goal.

ii. collect a wide variety of expressions

this’ll be limited depending on your characters, but it’s best to have a good variety of expressions. i also save my files with whatever the expression is to me for easier searching but you don’t have to do that LOL

also, i feel obligated to mention it, but you don’t have to stick with just one character. you can use a whole group, either an in-game group (i.e. leo/need) or a visual group (i.e. blonde characters.) they don’t even really need to match, though it’ll look better if they do. with this blog and my old ones, i used a variety of characters with the same color palette so i could get the expressions i wanted.

iii. just make the damn thing

ah, the worst part of all editing—actually editing. god fucking damn it. now that you’ve got your canvas and your character(s) it’s time to grit your teeth and make some replycons

first thing i usually do is narrow down a theme. this can be as simple as a color or as complex as something like “cybercore” or whatever -core scratches your brain. for these replycons, my theme is just attempting to match the rest of my blog layout. god fucking speed.

it can sometimes help to make a thumbnail like this ^ but that’s 100% optional. i like to do it for tutorial purposes and it helps me to get my thoughts from my brain and into photopea. your thumbnail need not make sense nor be cohesive. it’s just for you to know

a good way to start is to make a shape and make it interesting—i usually make a shape and give it a border and some fun lines, rp style, but you don’t have to do that. all of those things can be done with just the shape tool. you can also find existing icon masks on tumblr or resource rentries (make sure you credit properly!!) and you can find some templates, like mine!

once you’ve got a theme and a base, start adding shit.

^ pretty easy base. i pixelated the lines around her eyes and added eyes, and added a stroke and drop shadow to the shape to make it easier to see! if you’d like, you can stop there. but i think it needs a background and some details so i’m going to keep going

background complete! for this i just used a color fill and went rasterize > filter > noise > add noise but you can add whatever you like—patterns, wallpapers, solid colors, etc. it’s up to you! i also added a small stroke around my character png so as to distinguish her from the background a little further :)

this one is a little blank on the left side so i’m gonna add some text and details!!

there we are. i added the cd png to break up the monotony of my base, added text because it’s my personal preference, and added a chibi so the text is distinguished! if you do add text, make sure it’ll be readable in any modes—light and dark. i typically add both a black and white stroke for this, and a drop shadow can help a lot, too!

an important thing to note here is any extraneous images of the character you add can’t be too distracting to the main image. if i had, for example, done this:

the new png is obviously too distracting, right? it takes up too much space and completely draws the eye away. this is even more true when the base and the png have conflicting expressions, like so:

because now i can’t tell what emotion you’re conveying—is the replycon happy or sad? what part do i focus on??

so it’s best to keep any extraneous decals pretty simple, for the sake of clarity. it’s also best to remember that english-speakers read from left to right, and native speakers are conditioned to interpret most things that way. you’ll want to draw the eye in that direction as you work, and not the other way around. hope that makes sense lmfao

iv. save as a psd

once you’ve got all your layers and details situated, make sure that you save your replycon as a psd. this is imperative, because it enables you to make new reply icons as the occasion arises, or you can recycle the basic components for a new theme!

if you’re unsure on how to save as a psd, click file in the upper left-hand corner and then ‘save as a psd.’ i recommend labeling it so you can file it more easily; i’m naming this file cobaltpegasi replycons, which is an easy template—just stick your url in instead.

once you’ve done that, keep adding expressions until you have a suitable amount of replycons! i usually made about five to ten to start with and then add new expressions as i see fit, but you can do whatever works best for you.

also, when saving your replycons, it helps to sort them by what emotion you think they convey. for example, my canarysage replycons are sorted by character and then by emotion—so this one is labeled “len smug” because that’s how it seems to me

you don’t have to do that, but i find it helps a lot when trying to find specific ones, especially if you have a lot.

v. go forth and use them

now that you’ve got your replycons done, you can use them! go forth and clear out those week old requests in your inbox (🤨) or whatever it is you want to do with them. that is all. canarysage signing off <3

…so that’s how you do it.

[wonjinburger]

writing prompt #03

you and a hot stranger get trapped in an elevator ; yang jungwon

태양보다 찬란한

. . . 그게 바로 나

INFO : : yang jungwon x reader / hurt comfort

wc : <1300

you know, going to work after getting my heartbroken just a few hours ago isn't the most ideal morning i had in mind.

my boyfriend, well, now ex-boyfriend had apparently been cheating on me for months now. to think we almost lasted 2 years together, and to think i thought he was as perfect as one could get, guess i was completely wrong. he didn't even pretend to hide it, he was all cocky about it, fucking douchebag.

i had just finished getting ready and i looked like a mess. the bags under my eyes are as dark as ever, my eyes are red and puffy too, i can't believe i spent the whole night crying over that asshole.

i left my house and waited for the elevator to reach my floor. someone appeared next to me a few minutes later. i would've taken a quick peak if i wasn't on the verge of tearing up again. the elevator door opened and we both got in.

the person that got in with me stood closer to the control panel, and i stood in a far corner. "are you going to the ground floor?" i looked at the person and it was a guy who looked pretty attractive. he had these pretty brown eyes that sort of resembled a cat?

"oh uh.. yeah" he nodded and pressed on the ground floor button, which i assume is where he was headed as well. i thanked him as the elevator slowly went down from the 17th floor. now that i think about it, i don't think i've ever seen this guy around here, even more so on my floor.

i was debating whether or not to start up a quick conversation with him when he suddenly spoke. "so.. you live on the 17th floor too?" "uh.. yeah. we kind of got on the elevator on the same floor.." "right right.." he nodded awkwardly before turning away from me.

'that was awkward'

"did you just move here?" i asked him. he looked back and answered with a quick nod. "ah, welcome to the neighborhood, i'm lee y/n, and i assume we're neighbors?" i bowed slightly to welcome him around here and he did the same. "thank you. i'm yang jungwon."

'that's a cute name'

we went silent again, but this time it was more comfortable than it was before.

suddenly the elevator lights flickered and the elevator shook a little. and after a while the shaking and flickering stopped, but so did the elevator itself.

"ah.. i can't believe we're stuck here" jungwon said as he pressed the emergency button.

knowing the apartment complex, it would probably take half an hour for someone to get us out. so might as well start conversing to pass some time.

"it's gonna take the management a while to get here" he looked back at me, a hint of confusion could be seen from his eyes. "does this happen a lot?" "not really? i was just unfortunate to have this happen last year as well. not to mention it was the first day of my new job that day" i laughed it off and jungwon seemed to be a bit taken aback. "did you get into trouble for it?" "not really. i explained the situation to my boss and she totally understood me" he nodded in, i assume relief, that i wasn't in trouble.

i suddenly received a text message and just as i saw the contact name i wanted to throw my phone out of the elevator, unfortunately for me, the door was stuck so that was a no go. i hesitantly opened the chat and it read 'im sorry, i didn't mean any of it, i was just drunk and out of it, please give me another chance'. now i wanted to throw myself out of the elevator and off a building. how does he have the nerve to say that when he acted like the biggest asshole last night.

i couldn't help but choke out a few sobs. seems like jungwon noticed, because the next thing i know, he was next to me offering me tissues to wipe my tears. "sorry you have to see this" i apologized as i wiped away my tears with the tissues he offered. "it's nothing, don't worry about it y/n".

i calmed down after a short while and let out a deep sigh. "if it helps you at all, i'm here to listen if you want to share" i looked at him with my tear filled eyes and smiled a little. "it's kind of embarassing.." "i'm sure it isn't" i was mentally debaitng if i should tell him, since he was you know, a stranger, but maybe him being a stranger was a good thing too? i won't really ever have to see him unless we just so happen to bump into each other at the apartment complex.

"i found out my boyfriend of 2 years has been cheating on me for months last night"

i felt a hand on my back patting in a slow but steady motion. "i'm so sorry you had to go through that, i'm sure he just lost the best person to ever exist in his life" what he said made me chuckle a little. "he just asked me if we could have another go at our relationship, but he acted so nonchalant about it last night when i confronted him too" i slowly sat down on the elevator floor, feelings starting to overwhelm me.

jungwon sat down as well but said nothing. he just sat there and comforted me, allowing me to let my feelings out.

after a little while of crying again he asked if i was feeling a bit better now. "yeah, thanks for your company, i honestly needed this."

and i don't know what was going on in my head. maybe it was all the emotions i was feeling, or the dim lights and quiet atmosphere, but as i was looking at his gorgeous brown eyes, something about the way he looked at me made me want to do something i never thought i'd do.

he stared at me as i stared back, our faces were slowly inching closer to one another. as we were centimeters apart, he stopped. "i don't think this is good for you.. it's like i'm taking advantage of you.. we should stop." he started to move away, but i held his hands and he looked back at me with those eyes again.

"i don't think this is good for neither of us too.. but if i'm gonna be honest, i want to do this.. and i may be wrong, but you want it too don't you?"

he took one last look at me before we both inched closer and connected our lips together.

this was probably an impulsive thing to do, and i would probably come to regret it once we get out of here, but right now, all i could focus on was him and how comfortable i felt around him.

i moved back and broke the contact we had, both of us now catching our breaths while still looking into each other's eyes.

"is this gonna be a one time thing y/n?"

was it? i didn't think about that. maybe i'll start regretting making out with a stranger in an elevator even before we get out of said elevator.

he looked at me with such hope and confusion, it made me want to stay in that moment forever.

"i don't know jungwon.. but i hope it isn't as well.."

[wildflowerdoeeyed]

𝑀𝑜𝓁𝓁𝓎 𝒪’𝓈𝒽𝑒𝒶

the character overlook part 2!!

this is going to be shorter but i still want my yap (spoilers it’s not im passionate about this), spoiler heavy for chapter 4-6

i’m not really proof reading any of this so sorry if anything’s wrong please tell me

🪞before i say anything i want to point out a bit of dialogue between sean and molly

m - i dont have much opinion on you

s - ah but you don’t like me, i can see it in your eyes

m- i don’t know what you’re talking about mr macguire

s - but you look down your pretty little stuck up nose at me

m - i guess i didn’t come to america to meet boys who crawled out of the local bog. when i could have paid them to sweep my chimneys at home

s - i knew it. you’re a snotty nosed little west briton

m - i am no such thing

s - ‘course you are, i see it now. you probably have a family with a big farmhouse and titles

💋 i want to bring this up for a few reasons

1. sean is one of the only characters in camp proud of his heritage, molly is quite superficial and she doesn’t talk much about it, kieran doesn’t know much about his heritage and doesn’t know how to pronounce colm even though kieran was with the o’driscolls

2. he calls her a “little west briton” which usually means an irish person who greatly admires England or Britain, thinking them superior to Ireland

3. i said in my last post that i assumed molly became well off from. a family business in agriculture

🩰𓈒⋆⑅˚₊୨୧

💋now i don’t have much to say about her outfits here because of the fact that they stay the same so i’ll talk more about her and dutch

💋from shady bell onwards molly really starts to loose it and there’s more and more arguments between the two of them at one point she screams that he ruined her life

💋molly starts getting really paranoid, she sits at one of the docks by herself and karen even tries to comfort her in her own drunken way even when molly approaches her and confronts karen about talking about her (i’m not entirely sure if she actually did) molly smacks karen, karen hits her back harder and molly storms off to behind the house

💋i feel molly starts to realise she is the fool that everyone calls her for falling for dutch, and there’s a held sentiment that dutch probably never loved anyone more than annabelle and molly was more of a distraction with a pretty face

💋walking around shady belle, molly is usually found sulking in the corners of the house on her knees with her head down, i’d also like to put out there that in their room one one side of the bed is disturbed

��i think kieran’s death was a way to put into perspective how the gang was falling apart molly asking arthur how this is allowed to happen

🩰𓈒⋆⑅˚₊୨୧

💋molly is absent at the end of chapter 5 and i’m not entirely sure that people really questioned it at all (i was obviously trying and failing to find my wife)

🩰𓈒⋆⑅˚₊୨୧

💋now let’s get into the deep shit of the start of beaver hollow

💋molly is clearly drunk back in her casual outfit with her blue shirt, which i think personally is how she felt more comfortable in

💋she curses out dutch and says that she told milton about the saint denis robbery

💋i think she went through the realisation when she was away of dutch’s complex about himself, calling him “your majesty” or “master” when she makes fun of him

💋dutch talks a lot about loyalty and having faith and him and miss grimshaw carry the sentiment that she broke the rules

💋miss grimshaw shoots molly, and i think, though i love molly, she is my wife, it was the last nail on the coffin that when molly died she sees dutch, the only person she thought liked, even loved her, looking disappointed in her

💋she also didn’t get a proper burial and got burned

🩰𓈒⋆⑅˚₊୨୧

(only doing positive ones bc that’s what my baby deserves)

💋 karen’s the most aggressive after mollys death as she holds a grudge to miss grimshaw, calling her a filthy murderer and saying that she probably liked doing it, karen had seen (imo) that molly just wanted dutch’s attention and she was blinded by love

💋 i personally hold a grudge too but she seemed remorseful that she did it because she had to

💋 abigail feels guilty but they’re still under the pretence that she ratted on them

💋 charles says he feels bad even though he didn’t know her well

💋 strauss, though i think he probably did not gaf he actually includes molly in him saying the camps falling apart

💋 marybeth just feels guilty about her, saying that she doesn’t believe it, she probably said that in the way of she couldn’t believe that mollys dead but i’d like to think she also didn’t think that molly did it

💋 swanson says she’ll be in his prayers

💋though i’d like to add dutch’s reaction to yknow the supposed lover of him saying that he shoulda cut her off ages ago

🩰𓈒⋆⑅˚₊୨୧

💋i feel like people forget that milton tells arthur they couldn’t get anything out of molly , if you know micah is the rat you have to know molly isn’t

💋 off topic but i want to say i also saw someone say mary (linton) was one of the rats, i feel like people forget that mary knew arthur was never going to change for her, her missions never affects the plot, she’s always going to send the infamous letter at the start or beaver hollow, she never changed the ending you can not help her and never talk to her again and there’s still the same ending it’s all micah

@lovearthur since you got tagged in the last one 🫶🏼