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writing-havoc · 2 years ago

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HEY! HOW ARE YOU? would you be willing to make a kaz brekker x reader? if possible a soulmate au? I'm obsessed with this trope! maybe name on the wrist or the one where with just a touch of skin you see the colors? I imagine one where r is not part of the dregs but is quite indifferent/receptive to the fact that kaz is the leader of a gang. r is a seamstress, using her skills to hide that she is a fabrikator, and she (can be gn if you want!) and kaz know they are soulmates, though they never talk about it. they can even be a 'thing' secretly, and it would be adorable if they were both childhood friends. maybe before the events of SoC kaz decided to make their relationship official (with a request for courtship alá brekker or even a marriage on paper) and after CK he is even more desperate for this, wanting to protect r at all costs. oh, it would be very interesting if r had a younger sister aged 8/9 who loves kaz and vice versa since she is very quiet and obedient and loves to listen to kaz's stories. even better if he secretly called her little crow. bonus if the girl's name is astra and she is also a hidden grisha, an inferni or another etherealki i would love to see this from your point of view and with her writing it would be amazing but feel free to decline if you don't want to. Did I already say that you write very well? well then know. YOU ARE INCREDIBLY TALENTED!!!!!!

Silent tears

♡ Summary: Before the events of the ice court, Kaz feels relatively content with his feelings and relationship with you. After? Not so much.

♡ Pairing: Kaz Brekker x fem!reader

♡ Fandom: Six of Crows, Grishaverse

♡ Warning(s): Mentions vomit a few times, Gun, Death, uses yn twice

♡ WC: 5.4k

Aaaa thank you sm for this request!! Loved all the little details I had to include. It was interesting writing for a reader that wasn't part of the dregs.

Thank you for your kind words <3

I made Astra a Squallor here. And it's up to your interpretation if the reader and Kaz are dating or otherwise before the ending.

As always, please excuse any grammar and spelling mistakes

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The sound of a sewing machine filled the small shop. It was loud, punching the table he knows it's rested on and creating a rumbling in the floor.

Gowns and suits and vests filled the racks around the store, some on display on fake bodices. They wore outfits, tantalizing window shoppers to enter and run their fingers along the fabrics.

The velveteen looked high quality, mixed with some sort of spandex fabric around the waist to hug its wearer. Pearls and lace flow across shoulders and down the side of gowns, some even including embroidery.

As he moved along, suits and gowns turns into vests and petticoats. The walls were decorated with hats of various function, most made for looks and flare rather than functionality. Behind the desk even existed a rack of long coats and various sweaters, more than likely just to fill up space than to be sold.

The sound ceased, and he rung the bell at the desk.

"Coming!" Called a voice. He stopped himself from smoothing out his own coat, in turn adjusting his gloves.

Heavy footsteps presented him with your kind figure, heels unconsciously stomping against the wood floor compared to the concrete of the backroom.

You smiled at him, picking off little strings of thread the fell into your lap and stuffing them into a pouch at your side.

"I've just finished your order." He felt just as much as he seen you change from business to something more lax, shoulders drooping and the lines between your brows disappearing. "Gimme one moment to put everything in the box- oh, would you turn the sign around, please?"

"A bit all over the place, are we?" He turned around, hearing you release a big sigh.

"Just about, it seems."

The people walking outside turned to look at the store, smiles on their faces. It was mildly amusing to watch them fall as he turned the sign, giving him a glare as he continued to stare them down. He didn't turn until they left, everyone else's eyes only flashing to the window for a moment before diverting elsewhere the second the closed sign came into view.

Window shopping is pointless when the building is closed.

"You wanted... two suits, one the shade of coal and the other a light purple, a wine red gown, a mask, and a pair of gloves?"

He turned his attention back to you, holding a rather large, yet flat, wooden crate. The inside was filled with the colors you just mentioned, a pair of leather gloves on top acting as paperweights for his order.

You set the crate down for him to look through. He removes the paper, taking the gloves into his hands and holding them out to examine.

And admire.

You aren't a leatherworker. You're a seamstress. And yet, you make the finest pair of leather gloves he has ever seen. Sometimes he'll even catch little designs marked into the gloves, the integrity of the material somehow unfazed.

"Make the slits bigger. Just two millimeters." He hands them to you.

You raise a brow, knowing that you made everything to his usual specifications.

But you take them back, entertaining him. You look at the locked door, and then raise your hand over the gloves.

Grisha power isnt super fascinating to him anymore. When he was little he would beg you to demonstrate your power, handing you pieces of worn fabric to do as you pleased with.

He would watch the thin threads thickened and the material became warped around the edges. Jordie would stand next to him, watching you solely because Kaz dragged him over every single time. You would hold out the newly mended piece of cloth, and he and his brother would clap ans rejoice.

But he still likes to watch you work. To see as your mouth opens and your tongue folds over your canines as you focused.

You give them back to him, and he inspects them once more.

"These will do." He ends up saying, appreciation left for the darker hours in the night.

You roll your eyes and rustle around with the paper held underneath your arm, fingers quickly calculating the math of the order.

Usually he doesn't do a batch of this size while he's still figuring out a job, but the way he sees it there's no way he can't have just about everybody present. Which these days is incredibly rare.

A pin is taken from the cushion on your wrist, planting itself into the red gown. But as you take out two pieces of paper, writing probably a total and your name, he can't help but stare at the ink peeking out from beneath it.

He knows what it says, just as well as he knows the name on his own.

He's seen it once as you pulled up your sleeve during the summer, the fine etching displaying his name, his old name, clear as day before you hurriedly slipped the pin cushion back onto it. He looked away that day, pretending he didn't see.

It feels so much harder to pretend now.

"This is your total. And I will need your signature on both of them, Mr. Brekker."

Your smile is playful, then. As he takes the pen from your outstretched hand.

"As I've told you before, yn, Kaz is fine."

"Oh, but how could I be so informal, Mr. Brekker?" You put your hand on your chest, face twisted into a poor impression of someone who has just been scandalized. "We are business partners, after all."

And just like in those books you always read, he feels his eyes soften, if only a bit as his brows and jaw relax. "Business partners doesn't cover the surface."

You take the confession and relax with it, rubbing the center of your chest. "You're right."

He thinks back to a time when you were both little, each staring at your blank wrist with solemn eyes. He would look at you as you rubbed the soft skin, fingertips and dirty nails gently tracing lines into it.

He would sit next to you, shoulders knocking together, and you would look up at him, expression changing as you grabbed his wrist and squeezed it.

At the time, he would never say it, the thought turning his ears pink and quickening his adolescent heart, but he would hope that your wrists would match, displaying the others name. He would hope that one day that sad and far off face would cease to exist, and instead would be full of complete and utter joy as you looked at him and exclaim that you knew it. Because you wanted him, too.

But now that he knows, he still wouldn't say anything. You never said anything, and he wasn't in any position or state of mind to say anything to you when he eventually saw his, ash sticky and cold flesh tainting the memory, your scream as you watched him swim to the harbor on Jordie's corpse, and his own as you went to grab him.

It stays locked away, with the rest of the things that feel too hard to touch.

He signs a fake name on both of them, taking one and handing the other to you for your personal records, and then takes out the kruge and hands it to you.

"Is Dirix out back to handle these or do you want a bag for them?"

He sighs. "Dirix is down at the Harbour. A bag will have to do."

"Can I pick the bag?" A new voice calls from the backroom.

He holds back a smile, but fails to stop the corner of his lips from turning up temporarily. He averts his eyes to the doorway where a little girl peeks around the corner, a wide smile on her face as she looks right at him.

"Of course, Astra." You say, and immediately she scurried up to the counter to take a look at the load she has to find a bag for.

Your younger sister, Astra, was moved up here a few years after you were, your parents having passed from the flu and grandparents too old to take on the task of raising a six year old. Much less a six year old who could summon the wind at any time she wants.

Thankfully, you had started your seamstress business a year before that, and had this store with your living space up above to take her in with.

Business was always booming here, your talent for fabrics and all things fashion put on display and loved by the masses. You spent pretty much your entire life studying the trends that wormed their way here, even getting ahead of the train numerous times and working into the darkest hours to make your profit.

Now you can afford the more pricey fabrics, and get the attention of the richer folk over in the Geldstraat.

He helps, of course, with his dirty work.

"I know the perfect one." Astra scurries away.

You chuckle, hearing a small "wow!" and a flurry of footsteps. "She's going to pick the most obnoxious bag, I hope you know."

He takes a breath then, and looks down at the gloves still in his hand. "I wouldn't expect anything less from her."

There's a moment of silence, watching you from his peripheral as you stare at the gloves too.

"I didnt like the last pair." You admit. "So I made the design more low-key. The last one was too flashy for your aesthetic."

He's wearing those gloves now, and they aren't even flashy. The design is just slightly more pronounced.

The way you measure how flashy something is has a much smaller threshold than most. Even by his standards, it's very small, and he's far from the most colorful being in Ketterdam.

Astra comes back with, of course, a large bright pink fabric bag, twine tied in the shape of a flower tied around the handles.

"Good choice!" You praise, taking the clothes out of the crate and laying them neatly in the bag while she beams at him.

"Do you like the bag?"

And normally, he'd say something incredibly passive aggressive.

But he actually likes Astra, and knows how easy it is to stamp out a child's heart, that level of emotional regulation and individuality not yet found in them.

"Its wonderful, little crow."

"Alright, give this to him, like I showed you." You pushed her along, and she rounded the counter, holding the sides of the bag, leaving the handles free for him to grab.

He'd be lying if he said he wasn't just a little moved by that.

Astra wasn't allowed to help you until a few months ago, when she basically got on her hands and knees and begged to be of some help. You claim that you didn't give in right away, but he knows you better than that.

You have told her that he doesn't like to be touched, and it was a little hard for such a touch reliant girl to wrap her mind around that. After a few close calls, she got the general idea down.

"Pleasure doing business with you." He tips his hat, and watches as her little cheeks become pink as she curtsies.

"Ill be making stew like my mom made if you want to stop by later." You suggest.

Astra grins from ear to ear. "But not too later, if you can help it. I want to hear another story."

"At this rate I won't have any stories left to tell you."

She thinks about that for a moment, lips pursing and looking around the room. "Oh!" She shouts, face lighting up. "Can you tell me that one story again? About you and my sister getting lost in the woods down south?"

He pretends to think about it, looking around the room as if in search for the memory. "I think I can do that. You and your sister might have to fill in on some of the details, though."

She grins, pride welling up in her chest that she puffs out, holding out her hand. "The deal is the deal."

He takes her hand into his, giving it a firm shake. "The deal is the deal."

Kaz takes a moment to look back up at you, and his heart nearly leaps out his chest when he sees the way you're looking at him, a small smile he doesn't think he's seen before and eyes filled with so /much/ that he's surprised your whole eye isn't black. Your head rests into your fingers, arm wrapped around your waist. It's an expression he's seen rarely, but it always seems to catch him off guard.

It looks a lot like yearning, he thinks.

But he puts it away for later.

When you catch that he's looking, you take a deep breath, schooling your expression and wiping off imaginary dust from your clothes.

"Alright Astra, Kaz has important business to attend to."

Astra pouts from beside him, but gives him her goodbyes and walks into the backroom again.

He straightens. It's oddly difficult to keep eye contact with you, but he does anyway, flicking between the both of them.

"If I have time, I'll stop by." He gives in.

You're happy with that. "Ill even add extra broth for you."

"Sweetening the offer I see."

You put your hands on your hips, shrugging. "A girl's got to do what she's got to do."

The implications of that are hefty, too hefty with a cane in one hand and a bright pink bag of clothes in the other.

So he ignores it, and nods, taking his leave out the front door and back to the Slat.

-----

He stares at the plan before him in his mind, going over each and every way this can and probably will go sideways.

Breaking into the most secure prison in probably the whole world with nothing more than the scrapings of a plan, one of the essential persons in a different prison, and your presense completely plaguing his mind.

The third one isn't exactly new, but he can't help but think about you when his survival rate went from low on the daily average to basically zero with one handshake.

But thirty million kruge...

Thirty million kruge could go a long way. That's four million for him, most of which he could put towards the crow club and expanding his empire, taking down Pekka, and securing his place as one of the top bosses in Ketterdam.

He could secure his place in the food chain, and maybe, maybe then he...

Maybe.

He entertains the thought of a marriage certificate. Having something that ties you and him together both eternally and in the eyes of everyone else. Being able to hold that slip of paper when he can't hold your hand and feeling like it matters.

It's hard to keep the thought away, now that he's alone with a glass of kvas and death staring him in the eyes.

He doesn't plan on dying soon. Not for a long time. He has vengeance to exact and many more dinners to join you for.

But it's a very real possibility, and he must debate with himself going to you and telling you all this before he leaves.

If it was any other job, Kaz would send Inej to tell you that he would be gone for a few days and to not expect him. If it was literally any other job, he wouldn't even consider getting up from his chair, marching down those stairs and up yours, and discussing the undiscussable to at least satisfy the gnawing in his stomach.

Because he knows that if you find out he died and he knew that he was basically guaranteed to do so and he didn't bother to tell you himself, you would never forgive him.

Granted, he would be dead, so in theory it doesn't matter.

He picks up his cane and gloves, shoving them over his hands and throwing on his long coat. He doesn't even have to look at the coat rack to find his hat, putting it on and making his way out of the Slat and to your address without a word to anyone else.

The theories mean nothing, in the face of reality.

You're making stew with extra broth, he might die in a few days, and he doesn't want you to think ill of him when he can't look you in the eye and try to convince you to feel otherwise.

As the cold bites his nose, he thinks back to that look you were giving him when he made that deal with your sister.

It's nearly enough to make him turn around, muscles tingling and a shiver rolling down his back that's unrelated to the cold. He feels sick. Warm and a feeling in his stomach he only feels late in the night in the comfort of his own bed.

He can't do this.

He picks the lock on your door.

He can't tell you.

He opens the door, locking it behind him.

He can't think of you like that.

He walks up the stairs, the smell of stew just barely reaching his senses as he enters the kitchen.

He can't.

You're sitting at the table, two empty bowls on the table and fabric thrown over your legs, threading them together. Your finger is bleeding, and he wants to wipe it away.

"You're late." You smile, eyelids heavy.

He takes off his hat, putting it on the hook you installed when he started coming over. "Or I'm just in time."

You laugh quietly, sticking the needle in the fabric and pulling it off your lap. "Just in time about sums it up."

He's a monster.

You turn your back to him and enter your room, draping the project on your desk.

The pot is still steaming, and his throat feels clogged.

"Ill be gone for a while."

You turn around, and he can't watch you anymore. He takes off his coat and drapes it over the chair.

"How long?" Your voice is soft, approaching him.

"Few weeks."

He's a coward.

You hum, setting down a bowl of stew with extra broth in front of him. "Thats a long time, even for you."

He clenched his jaw, heart pounding in his ears. The light catches the stew, making rainbows in the broth. Chunks of lamb, potatoes, pieces of ham, carrots, and greens he can't see dance in the soup as he stirs it.

"Bigger reward for the troubles." Is all he says.

The troubles, he thinks, that he can't get past the lump in his throat. The trouble that you of all people deserve to know.

He glances up at you, and he recognizes the look on your face all too well.

You're very aware of his gang affiliation.

He actually attempted to cut ties with you after he got associated with the Dregs. You threw a crate at him and called him mad for suggesting as such. He only risked to bring it up one other time, and you had yelled at him and about cried when he turned to leave, throwing a rock at his freshly poorly healed leg.

He swiveled around at glared at you, but you didn't flinch in the face of Dirtyhands. Just glared at him, told him you're not going anywhere, and then left /him/ before he could protest.

It took him a week to figure out that, despite you not wanting to cut ties with him, you didn't completely agree either. You didn't bother trying to convince him to leave, but you have on numerous occasions begged him to be careful, adorning this exhausted look.

You don't say a lot anymore, but the expression has stayed relatively the same, if a bit rounder on the edges.

"How bad?" You asked.

He abhors the way his heart squeezes, like it has a mind of its own while his brain yells at him to keep you out of it.

He wants to throw up.

How does he tell you there's a greater chance than not he'll die, now matter how much he wants to make it back to you?

How does he tell you you might never get to see him again? Or see Jesper or Inej?

He swallowed some broth, licking his lips.

"Pretty bad."

He's such a fucking coward.

"Ynnn." He hears a hoarse voice call. He looks up, seeing Astra stroll in and rest her chin on the kitchen table. "You didnt tell me Kaz finally came."

When he looks at you to see your response, its to his absolute horror that he catches you wiping your eyes, then pull your little sister to your side.

"You were sleeping. I didn't want to wake you."

"M'you should've."

You glance up at him, and smile against Astra's hair.

"You're right. I should've."

-----

'Damn it all,' he thought in a panic. 'Damn everything. Go find them.'

It was a dangerous, recurring thought that he had when he went anywhere near the Zelver District, whenever he had to go through the canals that run along its edge and connect to nearly every other canal.

Even now as he puts everything in place to send Kuwei off on a fake bodyboat. It only half surprises him that the sight doesn't make him all that uncomfortable. He's exhausted, lovesick, and has had the experience of several lifetimes within just a few weeks.

He wanted to send word to you to stay put during the alarms. But Pekka's crew strolled through your storefront not a few days ago, asking about your wares and probing for information. Inej had seen as such when she finally had the opportunity to check on you.

There was no guarantee that this plan would work. Pekka would have been dealt with regardless but the auction with Kuwei could have gone differently. No matter the confidence with which he laid out facts or with Wylan's newfound acting skills, there were too many variables that relied heavily on the actions of people outside his control.

It worked out, though. But now he has to worry about being unable to find you. It makes him nauseous. He actually feels his mouth begin to fill with saliva, but he keeps it down. Right now, he just has to get rid of Kuwei, and send off Colm, Nina, and Matthias to the boats that will take them to their respective countries.

A small part of his conscious nags at him. Of course he feels grief for his fallen Crow, incomparable to the grief Nina will have to face for the rest of her life.

But there's that much larger part of him that can't feel anything except the itching for your eyes on him.

Kaz makes a snarky comment about Kuwei's dead position, and leaves everyone to fill in the silence around him. There isn't much talking, aside from Jesper and his father, and then they're hugging and parting.

He hardly has it in him to stay while they leave, and eventually, before they even disappear from his eyesight, he's turning and marching up the Van Eck lawn towards the Zelver District.

He feels like he's going insane. Energy is surging through him like there's a heartrender pumping his system. When everything becomes familiar, that coffee shop you like with the Stroopwafel's coming into view, he can't help but break out into a run.

His leg feels like it may splinter.

But he's 4 million kruge richer, and he has something to ask you.

He's learned a lot, quite a bit of it against his will, since he left for Fjerda.

He will not let you become another life lesson.

Your door comes into view, and he nearly slams into it when his legs can't seem to stop and one of them is straining against his own body weight.

The lock picks nearly fell to the floor before he manages to unlock the store. He didn't even let the door close behind him before he rocketed up the stairs, taking them two at a time.

You were at the top, rifle in hand, pointing it at him with a fierceness in your eyes.

It all but crumbled when you seen who he was.

"Kaz?" You called, disbelief choking your words.

It takes a moment for him to catch his breath, most of his gasping done before he unlocked the door. But again, hes exhausted and lovesick, so air isnt really a luxury he seems to be able to afford. "The bruises don't make me that unrecognizable." He stands straighter, favoring his left leg.

You had half the mind to put the rifle on your kitchen table before you completely broke down in tears. Your arms hug your sides while your eyes boil over with tears and hot rage.

"You're such an asshole!" You yelled. "Getting put on the Stadwatch and the entire barrels shitlist? What the fuck kind of job did you take?"

He stepped forward, setting his cane next to your rifle and dropping into the chair next to you.

It still made his skin crawl. It still made his lungs burn with freezing cold water. It still made deadly blue hands grip at his legs and pull him under.

But he reached out, pulled you between his legs, and hugged your body to his, his cheek resting against your stomach.

You were warm. So very warm from working yourself up. And stiff. He could feel it under his arms as your thighs stuck together and the muscles surrounding your spine tightened into stone.

"Ka-Kaz?"

He ignored you in favor of ignoring his own body, tightening you into him as the waters punched his stomach and licked up his back.

You were warm, and as you relaxed, his face further sinking into your stomach, the water began to still. Still crushing against his organs, but not going any further.

Tears pushed on the back of his eyes. He squeezed them shut, taking in a shakey breath.

He was doing it. He was holding you, touching you, and it only made half his mind scream to be yanked away.

"I fought." He whispered. "I fought to come back." He swallows. "To you."

Tears thumped against the crown of his skull. He could hear your heart pounding despite its location.

"You left-" Your voice cut off in a squeak. Clearing your throat, he could feel, felt like a chore. "You left. And then you didn't come back. Your face was all over Ketterdam, and I didn't know what to do. I couldn't eat I couldn't sleep- I couldn't answer Astra's questions because I didn't know anything-"

"I was tricked." He gritted his teeth, loosening his grip on you just as you reached down and dragged your fingers over his shoulder, fixing a loose thread. "Deceived, and made a complete fool out of. I couldn't come back because they would have got you too."

Your fingers stopped. "Who did they get?"

A few tears leaked out the side of his eyes. The only tears, he decided, he was going to allow through. He was not a crier. And he had no intention of becoming one.

"Inej." You gasped, hand flying away from his head to cover your mouth, he would presume. "Which is why I couldn't get word to you. Why you had to remain in the dark."

He pulled back, looking up at your tear stained face. You wiped them away, sniffing up any snot that remained in your nose and cleared your throat.

For a while you didn't speak. You just stared at him. His hands had fallen to his knees, fingers barely touching your leg while your own held your elbows.

You were deep in thought. Occasionally a silent tear would work it's way down your cheek and tick against the floor. He remained still, watching as you worked your way through your thoughts.

Whatever you had to say, you were fighting for a better way to word it.

Eventually you reached out, swallowing as you searched for any indication he would retreat.

Instead he stared you head on, sweat building on brow. He was all touched out at the moment, but you wanted this. And he thinks it's the least you deserved after the complete emotional shipwreck he just put you through.

Your thumb brushed over his bruises, watching him wince when you accidentally pushed on them.

Scabs had begun to form over some of the wounds he refused to be healed. Two thin lines on his lips, one on his cheek, and one to his brow. You went over all of them, touching his lips last.

He thinks you meant to do that.

"If I had known this would be my fate when I saw my name on your wrist when we were children," you whispered, "I'd have slapped you stupid."

That makes his lips twitch. "And now?"

You swallow again, carefully brushing his hair away from his forehead so that your nails barely scratched the surface. "Now, I just want to look at you." You smiled, taking your hand back. "Somebody's already slapped you stupid for me."

"Believe me, there was no slapping."

The words make your smile disappear. He regrets saying them.

Somethings missing though, and he realizes it a lot later than he likes.

"Where's Astra?"

You smile, an airy breath escaping your nose. "She went down about half an hour before you stormed in here."

"You didn't send her off to your grandparents when the sirens went off?"

You scoffed. "And go where you couldn't find us?" You looked down, scuffing the floor with your sock covered feet. "You'd have lost your mind."

And that, you knowing him so intrinsically, is what he's going to use as an excuse for what he says next.

"Marry me."

It's so unlike him. He should have been less forward about it. Presented it to you like a business offer instead of demanding it of you.

Your head snaps up. Eyes wide as they stare at him.

"What?"

He scoots back, chair scraping across the floor as he stands.

"I do not present this to you lightly. After the events that have taken place, there will only be more people willing to tear me down. People who will want to use you to get to me."

The thought almost makes him want to back out. But if Kaz Brekker is anything, he is not someone who back tracks.

"It would be done in private. No one would know but the Dregs, or only the Crows, and your family. But if anybody does any digging and finds that certificate, you and Astra would be in danger."

You continue to stare, eyes still wide and mouth agape.

Sweat beads down his back, not helped by the long coat he neglected to take off. He also realizes that he's lost his hat somewhere on the way here, probably flown off in his rush to get here.

You close your mouth, clearing your throat. "I will marry you, Kaz, on one condition."

He shifts on his feet, leg still horribly sore. "That is?"

You cant help but smile. "I won't have to wear white."

And a giddy, childish sort of glee bubbles in his chest. There isn't anything, he thinks, that could have stopped the smile forming in his face, growing so wide as to show teeth. "You could wear the muckiest yellow the nation as to offer if you so wished."

Your nose scrunches, and one day he thinks he could kiss it.

"Astra will want to hear about your adventure." He could see your exhaustion from just thinking about that, your gaze averting once again to her door. "She'll be so excited to hear about your proposal too."

He follows your gaze, seeing the little drawing nailed to surface of her door.

One of them shows you and him with smiling faces, a little heart above your heads. You're holding hands, Kaz's gloves a distinct part of the portrait, with Astra above, clouds and a sun at the top of the page.

"Little crow will blow the entire building apart." He grimaces, thinking of a way to cover that up if the neighboring businesses hear it.

You sigh. "I have no idea what to do with her."

He turns back to you and leans forward, arms clasped behind his back as he presses his lips to your temple.

It didn't feel real, the way he could initiate touch despite his body screaming at him to stop. Your hair stuck to his lips as he pulled away, but it was worth it to see the way your face fell open, eyes boaring into his.

Silently, he tells you he'll get better. With time, a long time, he'll be able to hold your hand, kiss your lips, stand shoulder to shoulder and lay with you. He tells you that fleeting kisses and barriers will be a thing reserved for bad days only, and even on those bad days he'll still love you in other ways.

He thinks you understand.

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Tags:

@b3kk3r-by-br3kk3r @a-candle-maker

#ask #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x y/n #kaz brekker x you #kaz brekker fanfic #kaz brekker imagine #six of crows x reader #six of crows x y/n #six of crows x you #six of crows fanfic #fanfic #morrigan-crowmwell

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gooondocks · 11 days ago

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2024 fic roundup!

tagged by @happyhauntt (aka myself shhhh)

tagged myself in this from my other account because i wanted to keep my x reader fics separate from my ao3 fics! 2024 was a shitty year generally, and not great in terms of fic writing, but at the same time i found some really cool people and a community i love watching!! here's hoping the burnout gets better in 2025 💛

fics written: 12.

word count: 22500 approx.

february.

young gods -> the marauders, G, 1.2k. the gryffindors have a little tradition on the first night back at hogwarts. tooth-achingly fluffy.

march.

famous last words -> marauders era, james potter x reader, T, 2.1k. you and james are sworn enemies. you quite like it that way. fluff, banter, enemies that aren't really enemies. a writer & his muse -> marauders era, sirius black x reader, T, 1k. renowned mystery writer sirius black has a new muse, and it just so happens to be the homicide detective who hates him. (castle!au.) fluffy banter, mild threats of violence, just a fun time. haunted -> grishaverse, alina starkov x reader, G, 1.1k. alina starkov is dead, except she isn't, and the memory of her haunts you constantly. angst, hurt/no comfort. a grey day -> criminal minds, spencer reid x reader, G, 1.3k. spencer meets the newest member of the department. fluff, reader is autistic & a mom, spencer's iq gets slashed to sixty when he talks to pretty girls and it's my favourite thing. a lack of caffeine -> criminal minds, spencer reid x reader, G, 1.8k. caffeine makes the world go 'round. that's something you and spencer can agree on. fluff, reader is autistic & a mom, spencer's iq gets slashed to sixty when he talks to pretty girls and it's my favourite thing. bury these bones -> criminal minds, spencer reid x reader, T, 1.9k. spencer's day isn't anything more than average, but a surprise phone call and impromptu hospital visit have him rethinking his expectations. fluff, a little angst, reader is autistic & a mom, mild description of injuries (not serious).

april.

la vie en rose -> harry potter, sirius black x reader. G, 1.8k. it's just a regular tuesday in july until an escaped convict appears in your kitchen. oh, and he happens to be your ex. mentions of death (canon characters.) swearing. a touch of colour -> 9-1-1, eddie diaz x reader. G, 2.7k. eddie and chris' home is freakishly empty. you decide to redecorate a little. nothing but fluffy fluff. fight or flight -> star wars, poe dameron x reader. G, 1.6k. you and poe have never seen eye-to-eye. most days, you wonder if you ever will. lots of snarky banter. this was supposed to be flirty fluff but it turned into an angstfest. finn eavesdrops and chewie is sassy bastard.

july.

no one's ever had me (not like you) -> 9-1-1, evan buckley x reader. T, 2.1k. when buck meets his high school sweetheart at the ten-year reunion, he learns that their lives may be very different now, but the spark is still there. fluffy fluff.

december.

and if your heart wears thin -> 9-1-1, evan buckley x reader. T, 3.9k. after taking an unfortunate spill on the job, buck's fiancé decides that life is too short to wait any longer. angsty angst and then fluffy fluff. near death experience, descriptions of drowning and rescuscitation.

2025, may you be a better year for everything and everyone. thank you so much to everyone who took the time to comment, kudos, reblog etc. my fics this year!! i love and appreciate you very very much. sincerely, ollie.

tagging: whoever wants to do this <3

#* ollie rambles.#evan buckley x reader #eddie diaz x reader #spencer reid x reader #poe dameron x reader #sirius black x reader #fic writing #2024 fic roundup

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happyhauntt · 11 days ago

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2024 fic roundup!

tagged by the wonderful @mairaiscarrierofthepaperclips!

2024 was a shitty year generally, and not great in terms of fic writing, but at the same time i found some really cool people and a community i love watching!! here's hoping the burnout gets better in 2025 💛

fics written: 8.

word count: 107,492.

january.

in the light -> doctor who au, doctor / oc. T, 25.5k (so far). enemies-to-lovers, slow burn, angsty and witty. these characters are feral.

february

gold rush -> grishaverse, nikolai lantsov / oc. T, 16.3k (so far). enemies-to-friends-to-lovers, mutual pining, they're in love but it's complicated and they're both idiots.

july

hold me like we're going home -> 9-1-1, buddie. T, 38k (so far). girldads!buddie, found family, friends-to-coparents-to-lovers, emotional hurt/comfort, my catharsis fic tbh.

august

take this sinking boat (and point it home) -> 9-1-1, buddie. G, 3.3k. princess diaries 2 au, written for summer of buddie. basically the wedding scene from princess diaries 2 but make it buddie. god love's fucking embarrassing -> 9-1-1, buck & may. G, 4.8k. maybuck siblingism, may finds out buck went on a date with tommy instead of eddie and goes to talk some goddamn sense into him. written for summer of buddie.

september

when the crypt doors creak and tombstones quake -> 9-1-1, buddie. M, 14k (so far). haunted mansion au. eddie buys a haunted house and buck is the ghost hunter he calls for help. shenanigans galore. this is my absolute favourite fic of the year and it's not even finished yet and literally nobody cared about it lol.

are there edges of your soul i haven't seen yet? -> 9-1-1, buddie. G, 2.1k. eddie is a detective, buck is the new medical examiner, eddie is smitten. written for summer of buddie.

december

pluto is not a planet -> 9-1-1, buddie. G, 3.2k. buck character study where he relates to pluto and its relegated status as a planet. angsty as fuck. written for winter of buddie.

tagging: @gooondocks @saveyourblood @ohhsodebonair <3

#* ollie rambles.#buddie #911 buddie #2024 fic roundup #buck x eddie #911 abc #fic writing

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lunarthecorvus · 8 months ago

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Six Of Crows College/University Modern AU fanfiction recommendations part of Lunar's soc fanfiction rec series

-------------------------------✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧----------------------------------

Birds of a Feather by @sc11vb

Wordcount: 8.8k Chapters: 6/? (It's still being updated:)

Characters: Nina Zenik, Inej Ghafa, Kaz Brekker, Matthias Helvar, Jesper Fahey, Wylan Van Eck, Zoya Nazyalensky, Nikolai Lanstov, Tolya Yul-Bataar, Leoni Hilli, Alina Starkov, Maleyn Oretsev, Background & Cameo Characters

Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - College/University, Friendship/Love, Plot What Plot, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff without Plot

Author's summary/notes: “You know what they say, ‘trouble is my middle name’.” “Your middle name is Deirdre,” Inej said. “Don’t remind me,” Nina groaned. My summary/notes: In this fic we have a years worth of Kanej pining and currently there is some drama between those two, let's just say the angst is angsting. We have some other grishaverse characters featuring in the fic as well, there's established helnik and established wesper. I love Nina so much and in typical modern!au Nina fashion she comes up with a plan to stop the Kanej pining and it certainly is a plan... Nina and Inej's friendship very important in this fic (as it should be) and its written so well.

---------- ☾₊ ⊹

I Like You a Latte by sevenofcrows

Wordcount: 45k Chapters: 28/? (Hasn't been updated since Janurary but the last chapter works well and doesn't end on a cliffhanger)

Characters: Kaz Brekker, Inej Ghafa, Jesper Fahey, Wylan Van Eck, Nina Zenik

Tags: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shop & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - College/University, Kaz Brekker Needs a Hug, Kaz Brekker is Bad At Feelings, Texting, Fluff, Tooth-Rooting Fluff, rated explicit but the chapters are marked + not related to the plot, so the explicit parts can be ignored

Author's summary/notes: "Kaz Brekker was not your usual college student. He didn't leave assignments until the last day, he didn't stress over finals, he never left the house in sweatpants and a t-shirt. He was always put together, dressed in jeans and a properly ironed shirt, the answer keys to his next three exams hidden away in his computer and essays already written even before they were assigned. He didn't leave things to chance. If you asked any of his friends, they would call him a control freak. He liked to say he was born to be in charge. So, seeing him rush into a coffee shop with his hair messed up and shirt wrinkled was a once in a lifetime event." What happens when Kaz Brekker meets Inej Ghafa, a bright eyed barista who seems to read his mind when it comes to his drink orders? They fall in love, of course. This is the story of what happens in between. My summary/notes: You ever get that fic that you don't entirely remember whats it about because you haven't read it in a while but when you read the title the flush of serotonin and you just start to smile because you just remember that it was SO GOOD, this is one of those fics for me. Honestly the author's summary is just perfect, but heres some notes. The recipe thing is so cute, the kanej here is so adorable, Inej with the doodles is again so cute. The last thing I will say is they're both down so bad, especially Kaz.

---------- ☾₊ ⊹

honey, honey by halfahint

Wordcount: 21k Chapters: 3/3

Characters: Inej Ghafa, Kaz Brekker, Nina Zenik, Matthias Helvar, Wylan Van Eck, Jesper Fahey

Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - College/University, POV Inej Ghafa, Friends With Benefits (sort of), To explain the Friends With Benefits tag it basically means that they agree to work on healing their respective touch phobia together, Intimacy, (but also emotional intimacy, feelings are hard

Author's summary/notes: “Look,” Nina says. Inej has startled her badly enough that she’s made a mess of her eyeliner – the wing on her right eye careens wildly to one side. “I’m all for reclaiming your sexuality. Seriously. Two thumbs up from me. But, honestly, Inej, does it have to be with the most emotionally unavailable man you know?” “Well, who would you suggest?” Nina’s eyes bulge. “Oh, I don’t know, literally anyone with a pulse and a conscience?” “Kaz has – “We don’t know that,” Nina says sternly. My summary/notes: A story of healing as Kaz and Inej work on their touch phobia and while doing that they fall harder for eachother (they already knew eachother 2 years before the events of the fic). They have some cute moments. The crows dynamics in this fic are showed so perfect, it defintely reminds me of book!crows.

---------- ☾₊ ⊹

You'll Be With Me Wherever I Go by @rupturedhaven

Wordcount: 35k Chapters: 18/? (It's still being updated:)

Characters: Kaz Brekker, Inej Ghafa, Jesper Fahey, Wylan Van Eck, Nina Zenik, Matthias Helvar, Genya Safin, Maleyn Orestev, Nikolai Lanstov, Zoya Nazyalensky

Tags: Six Of Crows AU, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - College/University, Grishaverse, Texting, Drunk Texting, Chatting & Messaging, Fluff, Background Relationships, Background Characters Freeform, Slowburn, minimal angst

Author's summary/notes: It's their last year of university, and Jesper has insisted on starting a new group chat. There's chaos. There's bickering. There's friendship. There's love. Six of Crows texting fic. My summary/notes: Ok, ok, I love Rupturedhaven's fics, they write brilliantly so recommending this fic was a must. In this fic you get to see more of the Wylan and Matthias friendship dynamic. There is of course some Kanej pining after eachother and the latest chapter-. A TON of Wesper flirting and you get to see them go from friendship to lov- as well as going into some of Jesper's troubles. The Nina and Kaz dynamic in this fic is definitely siblingly and I adore it. Helnik also develops in this fic and we get to see them be as amazing as ever but also go through a couple problems but nothing can ever stop Helnik those two are so adorable in this fic. I was about to write about the amazing Nina and Inej friendship in this fic but I'm going to finish off by saying that all the friendships in this fic are just beautiful.

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theronanlynchshow · 6 months ago

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my overdue intro post

hiii!!!

I guess it's finally time to do an intro post lol. (leaving this here tho i've updated it like 20 times??? WTF IS WRONG WITH ME) I’m in high school, bisexual, she/her pronouns but idc. I’m a slytherin, aries, and intj. You can call me ava, ronan, or rose on here.

me & my gf broke up so i'm currently feeling very single 😭😭😭 * All the single ladies starts playing*

Check out my youtube channel!!!!

DNI if you are

homophobic, transphobic, racist, ableist

empty blog (i will block you if you look like a bot

an artist trying to sell me something (I DO NOT WANT TO BUY YOUR ART AND WILL BLOCK YOU)

MY DMS AND ASKS ARE OPEN, MY FANDOMS ARE

Harry Potter (Marauders)

Voltron

Shera

Hellaverse

Hamilton

The Dragon Prince

Avatar The Last Airbender & TLOK

Stranger Things

Star Wars

Arcane

Death Note

Spiderverse

Marvel

Nimona

Grishaverse

Zelda BOTW

The Raven Cycle (where my username’s from)

All For The Game

most horror movies

most musicals

most YA books also (too many to tag)

Agatha All Along

Music i like

Lorde

Zella Day

Halsey

Ado

VERITE

Chappell Roan

Sabrina Carpenter

Ariana Grande

Lady Gaga

PVRIS

KiNG MALA

Emlyn

Melina KB

Cloudy June

Allie X

Girl in red

UPSAHL

Marina

Dove Cameron

Lana del Rey

Tate McRae

Billie Eilish

Florence & the machine

Olivia Rodrigo

I do color guard, winter guard, and competitive speech & debate so expect rants about both lmao.

I beta read on Ao3 for fun, if you need a beta reader dm me.

Also check out my Hamilton HS AU on Ao3 (same username)

I mostly post funny shit from my life but sometimes fandom things also

this blog is rated PFG for pretty fucking gay 😝

100 followers event!!!!!!! (Adding this to my intro so it stays pinned)

send me an ask with one or more of these & i’ll answer!!!! ily guys <3

🏳️: what flag/rifle toss i think fits you best & why

🎬/📚: what character from one of the fandoms i’m in you remind me of

🗒️: i’ll assign you a random unhinged quote from my notes app

🎼: i’ll assign you a song or album that i think you’ll like

#100 followers#100 followers event#event#<3#love my moots <3#i love asks!

#About me #marching band #color guard #books and reading #horror movies #about my blog #winter guard #bisexual #beta reader #fandom #arcane #it #death note #grishaverse #hellaverse #marauders #harry potter #marvel #speech and debate

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rosietrace · 7 months ago

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「 Jewel 」

Central Character ; 『 Ellis Clawthorne 』 | 『 Davidson Novellion 』

Others ; Victoria Shard

Mentioned ; Sumeragi Yuuta | Chizuko Miyato

Pairing(s) ; Ellis & Davis

【 All Ocs belong to their respective owners and will be credited at the end. 】

AU: Grishaverse AU

Synopsis: “You with the dark curls, you with the watercolor eyes.”

Warning(s): Grishaverse AU, may or may not require knowledge of Leigh Bardugo’s series to make sense of some stuff so um sorry pookies, potentially ooc, Davis is his own warning, mentions of slavery (but not actually shown)

[ Apologies for any out of character moments ]

⊱────────────────────⊰

⊱────────────────────⊰

Every morning, and every cold, inglorious night— Ketterdam was an unforgiving place to call home. It was hardly believable that people in Kerch would actually consider it home. Let alone live there willingly.

But strangely, as she grew more and more used to the inconsistently dug out canals, the dastardly gorgeous facade of West Stave’s pleasure houses, and each and every tussle with another gang in the barrel; Ellis started to see Ketterdam as… well, a home.

An unhygienic and dangerous home, but home nevertheless. It was a little more dangerous for someone like Ellis, living and walking the streets and keeping her abilities — the gifts with which she'd been born — a secret.

Being a Grisha and wandering the streets of Ketterdam was about as risky as any of the meticulously complicated jobs Yuuta often assigned to Ellis and Chizuko.

Doing little in hiding her abilities as a Grisha would only get her in trouble with the Stadwatch, and she'd either be stuck in an indenture she wouldn't be able to pay— or worse, bound to a slaver ship, and even more horribly, a ship branded by Fjerdan ‘witch hunters’.

Although officially, they often referred to them as Drüskelle.

But all of that was the least of Ellis' worries at the moment.

A tussle with a member from another gang was one thing, but undergoing a chase with members of the Ravkan triumvirate was one whole other thing.

Saints, Ellis thought with a drawn breath, slipping past every passerby and tourist that came her way and meaninglessly destroying a food stall in her best efforts to escape the Grisha hunting her down.

Every so often she'd look from the corner of her eyes, and she could only swallow harder with each hard breath. Shadows. That could only mean one thing.

General Lucretius, her heartbeat quickened at the thought and not in a good, giddy, lovesick schoolgirl way.

She'd never seen the General of Ravka’s second army in person, but she's heard countless stories. From what Ellis could recall, it was likely he was taken in by the Lantsovs not too long after she made her retreat from the suffocating too-white walls of the Little Palace.

Cold, ruthless, all with a temper worse than the late king of Ravka himself. Ellis shuddered whenever she thought about it for too long— though, right now, it was probably the weather.

Damn it! With clenched teeth, Ellis shoved past everyone in her way to get every bit further from the shadows crawling up the grounds, walls, and possibly the skies like death had finally had enough of her cheating in its own game.

It was a shame she couldn't use her abilities as a Heartrender. It probably would've made a bigger difference in her escape. But the streets of East Stave were crawling with Stadwatch, and Ellis would prefer to avoid getting in trouble with them again— Yuuta's already mad as is after last time, thought Ellis as she spared a passing glance at the officers narrowly missing sight of her running like it was the last thing she'd ever do.

If things didn't turn out the way Ellis hoped, it probably would be.

Then her haphazard steps across the streets came to an unsteady halt. She thought it was her imagination, but she felt an arm snake around her waist and a hand — gloved with velvet — clasp over her mouth and nose.

“Shhh,” said the silent voice from behind her. How unfair it was, the soothing tone in their voice.

With added pressure, Ellis tried to wrangle free. The one behind her had been smart enough to clasp her wrists behind her back with… something. She couldn't make out the texture, but it felt so odd. So strange— so abnormal.

The last thing Ellis saw was the caution, the sheer terror in the eyes of Ketterdam’s citizens eyeing at her; or rather, eyeing at whoever had successfully kept her in check.

⊱───────────────⊰

Davis stared at the unconscious brunette limply sitting across from him, long and hard, dark circles under his amber eyes after a particularly petty argument between him and Victoria. It hadn't been pleasant.

It was always, “don’t do this” and, “don’t do that” with that snake of a woman. No matter his authority and power over her, Victoria acted like the attitude she had to him — and by extension, the Lantsovs, whom he'd spent the better part of several years to win the favor of — had no consequences.

“Are you not going to wake her up?” Entered, Victoria, the woman of the hour, and another Heartrender Davis couldn't be bothered to remember the name of.

“She can do it herself,” Davis spat, crossing his arms and resting his legs atop the table that kept him and the girl across him at a respectable distance.

“She is currently lying unconscious.” There was a subtle narrowness in her eyes as she added, “assuming you didn't somehow kill her.”

“I'm not stupid.”

“You make that hard to believe.”

“You think it's a good idea to question your superior?”

“Do you think acting so constipated and childish is doing anything to improve my opinion of her.” Damn her.

With a roll of his eyes and a scoff leaving his lips, Davis was more than ready to say something in reply until the girl just barely managed to stir awake.

“... Where… am I?”

Davis smirked, lowering his legs from the table and crossing them beneath it. “Ellis Clawthorne?” He questioned.

Just seeing the subtle — if you could even call it that — reaction to the name told Davis everything he needed to know. But he treaded carefully, needing to make sure that she truly was the missing Grisha they'd been looking for the better part of a couple years.

Again, he asked, “That's your name, I'm guessing?”

The girl's nose wrinkled. “No.”

He needed to test that theory. Looking over her shoulder, Davis' smirk widened. A Heartrender at the ready, waiting for her to lie through her teeth and catch her in the act.

“Then,” Davis leaned a tad bit closer against the dark wood of the table. “What is your real name, sweet, pretty thing?”

“I'm not a thing,” she spat, “and I don't trust you enough to tell you my name.”

“What's not to trust about a face like this?” He motioned to his painfully porcelain skin, whiter than snow from the Fjerdan north.

“Everything.”

“That's not a good answer, little jewel.”

“I'm not one for good answers.” She shrugged whilst acting far too casually for a girl being interrogated. Then her eyes narrowed to give him a look. “And my name isn't ‘little jewel’.”

“Then what am I to call you if it isn't?” Davis knew that Victoria knew; when it came to dodging questions, it wasn't usually him being on the receiving end of the responses.

“... Maude Ivory on some days. Other days, I’m Lucy Gray, and on rarer ones, I'm Eva Jacks.”

One hard look to the girl, he redirected it to the Heartrender behind her. Steadily, they shook their head. A lie.

“Tell me the truth, sweetheart,” pleaded Davis in his most condescending. “There's much good to come if you're punctual enough to be honest. Especially if you're trying so hard at being cryptic.”

She didn't say anything about that. She looked like she wanted to strangle him, maybe even shoot back a remark she's been itching to say to get on his last nerve— it was probably both.

Sighing dramatically, Davis held out a hand to Victoria standing behind him. He didn't need to turn his head to know that Grisha Squaller rolled her eyes while she bequeathed a velvet pouch full of coins to him.

Briefly, the girl eyed it. Davis took that as an obvious assumption that she could probably spit out whatever he wanted her to spit out for just the right price.

Surely 100,000 kruge was enough. If not, he'd be in a bit of tizzy.

He leisurely tossed the pouch to her from across the table, a gesture more threat than promise.

“Should you cooperate with us, you'll be given a hefty some of Kerch cash.” said Davis, his head cocking to one side. “We'll even take care of revoking your contract to whoever you're indentured to.”

“That won't be necessary,” said the girl. “I'm not an indentured Grisha. You might be mistaking me for someone else.”

Painfully, that ended up being her answer to every question Davis could throw at her. He had a hunch that she was lying, but the lack of hints from the Heartrender was starting to itch at him tirelessly.

Davis very nearly threw his hands up in frustration. Is she bluffing, or does this girl have a few screws loose?!

“You're a Heartrender.”

“I'm not.”

“My sources claim that there's been word in the barrel that a Heartrender’s taking up residence in one of the gangs.”

“It could be anyone,” said this girl, whom he was more than sure was Ellis Clawthorne. “It could be a Harley's Pointer, a Black Tip, maybe even a Dime Lion, or a member of the Dregs.”

“All I know is that as far as I'm aware, there's no Grisha lurking about in the Midas Touch.”

“That's a lie, and you know that.” Davis insisted. He wasn't going to let this fly, not until he got his confirmation.

But she was ever, ever ruthless in making sure he didn't get the answers demanded of her. “You can't have your cake and eat it too, sir. Maybe you need a moment to tuck yourself in bed and pay someone to burn your kruge to keep the furnace warm.”

Davis' hands slammed on the table. Whatever hiss Davis tried to suppress from the sting didn't show up.

“Now listen here, you—”

“Davis.”

His head whipped, eyes locked on Victoria. Her black hair, for once, lying down instead of her usual updos. Sometimes, in battle, her hair looked purple.

But that was the least of Davis' worries, right now. Not when Victoria placed a hand on his shoulder and expected him to react calmly to that when he was already in a sour mood.

“Now is not the time for—”

She cut him off with a quick shush, her eyes subtly trailing downwards and urging for Davis to see what she was looking at.

He did. He couldn't have felt prouder when he did, because now it all became clear, then and there— the girl sitting across them was Ellis Clawthorne, lost Corporalnik among many in Grisha’s second army, alleged enforcer for Sumeragi Yuuta.

And the most migraine-inducing trickster in all of the continents. Saints, Davis wanted to rip his hair out.

He rounded the corner in seconds, grabbing for her wrists while she was in the middle of steadying her heartbeat; a crude, but all-in-all effective way for Corporalniks to evade lie detection from their captors— especially if said captors had indentured Grisha.

But Davis was no Ghezen-worshipping merch, and he was no King of Ravka. Yet he was the general of the second army, and even through his silliest, most humiliating moments, he always finds a way to get the upper hand.

“What are you—”

“What's your name?”

Ellis — he was sure if it, more sure than ever — stared at him with wide eyes and a disgruntled face as she tried to break free. “I told you already, it's—”

“Maude Ivory? Lucy Gray, what's next, Aurora Borealis? I'm not stupid, sweet thing.”

She hissed when his grip tightened to a point it became full-on painful.

Davis said nothing to her while she tried to break free. If he had to give her any credit, it would be thinking she had a chance of getting past him.

He cast a glance at Victoria, still standing from the doorway, elegant as ever. “Prepare the ship. And tell the Council of Tides in advance that we're departing from Ketterdam.” He ordered.

With a huff and a more exasperated look than usual, Victoria stepped out of the room, closing the door so Davis could get his ‘precious’ silence and privacy.

Now it was the Heartrender behind Ellis' turn to get that long and hard gaze from General Lucretius. Not a pleasant experience in the slightest, but it was an effective method of making others do what you expected them to do.

“Tell me.” Davis said. His voice devoid of feeling, and wanting nothing more than an honest answer out of her. “Tell me, honestly, or I'll make sure you won't come back to your little barrel thugs with a tongue in your mouth.”

Ellis kept silent, her body stiff and waiting in anticipation for what he had to say. He could see the gears turning in her head, and it didn't take a genius to know her heartbeat quickened at both the proximity and the threat that came upon his lips.

Yet all Davis asked was, “Are you Ellis Clawthorne?”

It was a simple enough question. And the only question that truly mattered to Davis— more so than any of the others, at least.

If she said yes, all would be well, she'd be taken back to Ravka with an easy heart and 100,000 kruge lining her pockets. If she answered with no, however…

“I am.”

A simple and straightforward answer for a question of that same variety. That was all he needed; and she knew that was all it took for his suspicions confirmed.

He was surprisingly gentle as he let go of the hold he had on her wrists, and even stranger, he was a gentleman among other things as he helped her to her feet and escorted her out of the room.

What wasn't gentle, Ellis seemed to realize, was his voice. And more so than that, the way he stared down at her like she was the one thing he couldn't stand to look at for too long.

“You have exactly two days time to prepare before we take you back to Ravka, miss Clawthorne.”

Ellis' eyes widened. “Wait, what do you—”

Davis shushed her, lifting a finger. He didn't want to deal with another word out of her mouth.

As he sauntered out of the room with the other Heartrender, leaving Ellis standing there in her lonesome to process what exactly he'd said.

She supposed that Ketterdam wouldn't be ‘home’ any moment longer.

⊱────────────────────⊰

【 Taglist / Credits 】

↳ In order of OC appearances/mentions

Ellis Clawthorne — @starry-night-rose

↳ Enforcer for the Midas Touch, Heartrender (Corporalki, order of the living and the dead)

Sumeragi Yuuta — Me 😈

↳ Barrel boss for the Midas Touch, Durast (Materialki, order of Fabrikators)

Chizuko Miyato — @sakuramidnight15

↳ “Spider” for the Midas Touch

Davidson Novellion — Also Me 😈

Victoria Shard — Also (x2) Me 😈

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safely-in-vhagars-belly · 1 year ago

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The Doomed Jaessa

Aemond x reader (Slight Avatar au inspired)

Tags: Fantasy, au, avatar au, powers, fantasy,

Cool devider credits: firefly graphics

🔷Summary: You are a witch hunter, looking for the witches that killed your family all those years ago. Those people are called Heyks or Summoners.

🔷Author's note: Based on the Grishaverse stories, based on Avatar the last airbender, based on The Last Kingdom, based on a lot of different influnces from all these combined. I say based on avatar but this story is a lot darker and more graphic.

🔷Wordcount :3230

🔷Warnings: Murder, violence, war crimes and propaganda. Description of violence and brief racism to reader (though she deals with that by nearly drowing the brat) ((and aemond wont be racist to her ever) blood)

There have been stories for as long as humankind has been alive, and stories that will remain long after humankind has gone.

Stories and legends, told in the light of campfires, in the open skies with only the stars and the moon to witness. The stories of elements, the story of powerful humans, blessed by the gods with abilities beyond our understanding. They claim these people are called ‘’Summoners’’ and can control the elements, bend them to their will, and create chaos and misfortune for whoever may cross them.

It is why kingdoms have been divided, lands have been uprooted and people have fled their native lands. And it’s why your mother was killed, and your father was sacrificed. And it is why you swore to destroy these vile creators until none would be left.

—--------------

It is a wintry day in the village of Winter Town. You and your people prepare for another beautiful day full of hunting, preparing sacrifices and cooking food and making fires to survive the cold winter.

One of your commanders of the wolf army, named Sterk, calls for attention by blowing on a big horn. You and all the other villagers pay attention to what your leader is about to tell you. ‘’My good people! Today marks a wonderful victory. We have received word, and the final tribe of heyksen has finally left these lands!’’ You feel your smirk increase as you let out a whoop, together with others.

Your best friend Kef smirks, leaning in closer to you. ‘’Looks like when they can’t attack harmless children or women, these monsters don’t like sticking around.’’

‘’They will pay for what they did to us in blood.’’ You murmur, looking at the single finger bone you carry around your neck. ‘’As long as any Heyks is alive, they will keep breeding, they will keep spreading.’’ You murmur.

Sterk does not hear the two of you over the cheering of the other members. ‘’The Water-heyksen are cowering together with the Fire and Earth and Air heyksen in what they call the upper lands of this cursed infidel country!’’ He shouts so that even the gods can hear them. ‘’But we won’t give them rest or peace there. They tell stories, stories of an almighty heyks who will rise one day, an almighty heyks who will doom us all. Their armies, their kings are looking for this heyks.’’

Two boys close to you start talking in hushed tones, excitement getting the better of them. ‘’What do you know of the powerful heyks?’’ One of them asks you. You shoot him a glare. ‘’They said you met a Heyks.’’ He rudely points at your scar, by your chin. You cover it with your scarf, annoyed.

How dare he bring up that day. You were just a child, so was your brother. They ripped you from your mother’s warm embrace, slaughtered her like cattle and dragged you and your brother to the place where they worshiped their seven gods. ‘’Just that he can likely bend blood and revive the death.’’ You lie, absently.

For a moment you are back in Yi Ti, your whole life ahead of you and your heart pure, unaltered by hatred. ‘’Can he really?’’ The little boy asks, gasping.

You shrug. ‘’I don’t know, I never met him.’’ You reply, dryly and uninterested. ‘’Do you two mind shutting up, I want to hear what Sterk has to say.’’ You push them aside and sit closer to Sterk giving him a smirk. When the Waterheyksen still remained here, he was one of the first to slit their throats, setting fire to their villages. The original heyksen were burned alive in their castle, the castle they named ‘’Winterfell.’’ The Heyksen seem to learn from their environment. Most Heyksen you caught and killed here were water heyksen. They drowned your people.

And now you will return the favor. Stark comes close to the bridge of his speech. ‘’We shall never bow under the terror of these freaks! We shall never surrender!’’ You applaud as people around you break into cheers, hug each other and drink to his words, honoring the gods.

You approach Sterk, a cheeky grin on your lips. ‘’Excellent speech. But I found it a little predictable.’’ You say, keeping your walls up around him. Sterk pushes his soft blond locks behind his ears, grinning madly at you. ‘’I thank you.’’ He nods to the two little boys. ‘’Did they give you trouble?’’

You turn your head and notice a tall girl staring at you, her green eyes mirroring anger and hatred. You wave at her, smirking. ‘’Not like Nax has.’’ You say. From the very start, Nax has told you to ‘’return’’ to your lands, and called you a ‘’Monkey-tail.’’ You kindly shoved her into the river for that comment, and someone had to save her before she drowned. Yi Ti was once your home, but now the Heyksen have taken it from you. You left when you were a child, and you doubt you will ever return.

Stark glares at Nax as she pretends to be busy studying her nails. ‘’Nax can go fuck herself, another won’t do it.’’ He means himself as he pulls you closer with a wink. ‘’She is just jealous of you. You are brave, strong, and gorgeous. All things she lacks.’’ He tells you. Yet you remain uncertain. You have the feeling too many don’t want you here. Too many don’t trust you and too many don’t like you. Sterk reads you easily, holding you by your wrists. ‘’I told you before, I don’t care where my fighters are from. From Yi Ti to the Dothraki sea, fuck, even the Crown Lands…We all have our reasons to want these Heyksen dead.’’ You nod, touched, as he caresses your face.

Even Nax has her reasons.

You remain by the fire, creating traps by binding ropes together and cutting wood with your favorite ax.

A horse approaches out of the wastelands, carrying a scout of the hunters. ‘’Nik. What news do you bring?’’ Sterk asks the moment Nik has jumped off his horse.

Nik looks around the campfire. ‘’Good and bad. The Crownlands have sent a patrol party our way. They are here likely to spy on our numbers, to count our people before they send the full army. There are perhaps ten of them.’’ That is bad news. They must not know you and another part of the army split up. The majority remains in the North, while the other, a small portion sails around Westeros, to attack via Dorne, once Dorne has been weakened.

Sterk briefly twirls his dagger, likely recalling the moment these monsters invaded his home and kidnapped his sister. ‘’Let them come. I’m hungry for them.’’ he grins at Nik. Nik nods.

Sterk runs back to the stone he uses to preach, before climbing on top of it. He shouts and his voice carries miles. ‘’The moment we waited for has arrived! The Goddess has granted us more Heyksen to slaughter! More innocent souls to liberate and more territory for us to grow grain, to grow old and to grow strong! Are you with me?!’’ He yells at his people and you hide a proud smile. You could not be any prouder of your friend.

People respond by raising their swords, daggers and other weapons in the air. You join in, raising your ax sky high. ‘’Then what are we waiting for?! They will learn that their reign of terror is over!’’ Sterk jumps off the rock before marching the crowd towards the horses. Men and women climb the horses, while children remain in the village. Elderly people watch over them, when chanting blessings over the weapons of the departing warriors.

You follow Sterk. ‘’Can I ride with you?’’ He grins. You hop onto his horse, holding onto his waist.

But he does remind you of your duties. ‘’One day you must learn how to ride horses.’’ He tells you. ‘’One day, you must take the saddle and ride. It might save your life one day.’’

You scoff. ‘’I don’t trust horses. They are like people. You never know what they are up to.’’ You tell him as the two of you ride towards the smoke on the horizon. The horse picks up speed as you hold on for dear life, your ax in your left hand ready to wield it at whoever comes at you two.

You finally notice a ship that is docked to the side of the cold waters, and people in red and black colored armor enter and leave. The horses of your troops have the ship surrounded, with the woods giving clear you all an advantage of the shelter and hiding.

‘’Are you with me? 'For Freedom!’’ Sterk cries and charges with his sword swung at the soldiers leaving the ship.

A different, much bigger war cry is answered by the enemy as they attack from behind the horses, behind trees, and storm from the ship to the place you gathered. You are pushed off the horse by Sterk and watch as two fireballs hit him at once, burning the flesh of his face, as he cries out in pain and horror. You scream, clutching your legs as you crawl to him.

All around you, friends and family are murdered within two seconds, blasted and fried on the spot as chickens trapped in a fiery coop. Two soldiers hold a girl and melt her armor into her skin, when making comments about what they will do later to her. You weakly lift your ax, your whole body hurting. You release a war cry before rushing at one of them, placing the ax right at his head and you just chop.

His head breaks free with a satisfying crush, rolling on the floor as his body shatters.

His friend is furious, heartbroken, and upset. He fires a series of fireballs at you, and while you dive out of the way, some of them end up hitting you, burning your hair and blackening your face slightly with ash and smoke. The goddess protects you, as you fall to the ground and manage to avoid most of it.

The girl that was attacked has turned around and lifted her sword before decapitating her tormentor, before falling to her knees and going into shock.

You look around at the corpses of your friends and loved ones, and realize that Nik was wrong about the amount of people. They never stood a chance. You climb on a horse, trying to get it to listen to you. The horse is terrified and bucks you off him before rushing off to the place of the camp. You end up in a worse shape than before, likely with your hips or legs broken.

A man with silver long hair emerges from the beach area, carrying a golden edition of the normal red and black armor. ‘’Status?”’ He barks at a nearby soldier following him closely.

‘’24 out of 28 killed.’’ The man informs him.

This must be an officer. ‘’Excellent.’’ He says, simply, looking around the blackened corpses gleefully. He takes in the remaining survivors. His soldiers kick and spit at the burned remains of your family, but he does nothing to stop them. ‘’The gods will eat well tonight. 24 witch-hunters. That is a victory, your Highness.’’ The man tells the officer.

So he’s a prince. A royal. Perhaps a good hostage. If only you could get to him.. ‘’This is pathetic. Burn their remains.’’ The prince comments.

He is stopped before he can. The girl you saved jumps in front of him, blocking his path. ‘’No! They should be buried.’’ She demands justice for him. ‘’Their remains will find the skies.’’ She believes they will find peace. They murdered and pillaged. The goddess has no mercy for that, even you know that.

The prince pretends to think, but you can read his body language and see how furious he is. ‘’You know what? You’re right. Bury this one alive.’’ He tells the officer, pointing to the girl. The officer nods as two other soldiers grab the girl and start digging a grave.

One of them grins as they throw her in it. ‘’Yes, Prince Aemond.’’ You remain frozen, praying that your luck won’t wear out. But once his blue eyes have found yours, you know you are done for and they won’t let you go ever again. ‘’And what do we have here?’’ He mocked. ‘’You’re far from home.’’

You grin, smiling despite your pain, putting up a brave face.

‘’We come from hell itself to kill your kind.’’ You stand on your injured legs. You see he misses an eye.

Prince Aemond rolls his good remaining eye. You wait for him to be distracted. And that distraction comes. Sterk fights himself free, standing up and swings his ax at Aemond. ‘’Let her be!’ He cries, but an arrow hits his heart before he can kill Aemond, and he drops dead in front of you.

‘’Sterk! No!’’ You weakly crawl to his body, ripping the arrow out of his heart. You hear someone scream in the distance as you cradle his soft blond hairs and whisper him goodbye. ‘’I'll see you soon.’’ You mutter.

Nik runs out to the fields and instead of being fried, he is welcomed by prince Aemond. ‘’Cregan Stark. Good to see you.’’

You hear something snap inside your brain. You don’t hear anything as you rise from your injured legs, that seem to have healed. You pass the water that boils, as your eyes have become a glowing bright yellow.

This man has lied to you.

This man has slaughtered you all.

He is a heyks. He is Cregan Stark, his family is Heyks, he is Heyks. A water Heyks The earth around you starts to shake as the prince is escorted to safety, quickly pulled away by Cregan. Water pours down from the skies, creating massive waves you control, but you don’t at the same time. Something takes hold of you as you bend the waves around the forest clearing, putting out fires and throwing soldiers into the sea. They drown because of their heavy armor, and the waves you keep splashing over them. Fire is thrown at you again, by new soldiers that have come out to defend their prince. You simply raise your feet with precision before slamming it back down, creating an earthquake that destabilizes most of them, before you bring your hands together, and separate them, digging a grave. The bodies are stacked up inside the grave and you hear the men scream as you throw the earth on them, burying them alive. Your fingers work next and with the tip of your tiny finger, you can lift a man into the air before smashing his head open against a stone, smearing the blood everywhere. You are no longer there. What remains is this ancient source, this ancient slumbering power that has been awakened. A power that was always there.

The air is sucked from lungs as they choke, and finally it is time for fire. You turn your head to a terrified Cregan Stark, before lifting the traitor into the air. You bend your index and middle finger down, and finally bow your hand as if retrieving something from him. He falls to the floor, screaming and crying as blood pours from his eyes, ears, and mouth. You bend the blood in his veins, twisting the veins until Cregan becomes a wailing crying mess. And the worst part is you like the fear you are seeing. You should be feared.

Men are crushed like bugs under stones you control, tortured by waves until they beg their gods for death and their eyeballs receive so much pressure that they pop.

That is until someone rushes up from behind you, grabbing you by your throat, and pushes a necklace around your neck, collaring you. You gasp briefly for air as you crash back down on earth, your power fizzling out. You try to recall what has happened but nothing makes sense. Your healed legs, the man you drowned and burned and buried. None of it makes sense. Your brain repeats one word over and over again.

Heyks.

You are one of them.

‘’No!” You scream as the necklace touches your skin. The prince holds you by your throat, his wet hair revealing you almost had him too.

‘’O, yes. You’ve killed enough.’’ He grits out, choking you for a brief moment as well.

You weakly gawk. ‘’Hurts doesn’t it? Your kind uses it on people like me. It blocks your summoning abilities.’’ He is right. It burns Heysk. And now, it burns you.

‘’You mean your witchcraft? I-I’m not a witch. I’m not evil.’’ You mutter disoriented and afraid. Afraid of him, perhaps. Afraid of yourself? For certain.

‘’From what I just witnessed, I’m not sure of that.’’ Aemond comments before chaining your hands together. ‘’I will bring you to my father. To the capital. You will be dealt with.’’ The bodies of the remaining men are collected and even dug up. You buried them deeply and they need the rest of the day and a small part of the night to find all those who you buried. Only a few have survived.

They are escorted back to the ship. One of them glares at you. You lift your chained hands at him, spitting in his direction and yelling a made up phrase. He and the other soldiers take off running as you cackle. ‘’Idiots, where did you find these idiots?’’ You wonder to the prince who remains at your side as his men are collected, and finally wrapped in black with red cloth. ‘’Do you plan to give them to someone?’’ You joke.

The prince has folded his hands on his back, ignoring you.

‘’I do. To their mothers, to their fathers, to their loved ones.’’ You become silent, as you realize what you have done. But they tried to kill you first.

‘’You were planning to kill us first.’’ You tell him indifferent to it all.

He nods. ‘’I agree, that much was true. Cregan and I set the trap much earlier.’’ You watch as bodies are dragged from the sea and put on the ship.

‘’We lost eighty-seven men, my prince.’’ The officer tells Aemond as you remain his captive.

Aemond shrugs. He does not care. You are worried for your safety.‘’We gained a weapon. A powerful weapon.’’ He looks at you, and you spit in his direction. He simply tugs the chain so you are choked. ‘’The last of her kind, the last Jaesa.’’

‘’I thought they were all killed centuries ago. Jaesa are dangerous.’’ The officer says as if you are not with them.

Aemond nods, recalling what you had heard as well. ‘’Hm. When Valyria met her doom, they assumed all Jaesa killed. But this is no ordinary Jaesa. This one can control all four elements. This girl will be our salvation….And the doom of our enemies. She will gives us Dorne, she will give us the North, she will give us the known damn world.’’ He adds when painfully grabbing your chin. ‘’And she will bring an end to her kind.’’

world building and notes

Worldbuilding.

The terms of summoners are from Valyrian words for the elements.

Fire=Dracary

Earth=Tegonry

Air=Jedary

Water=Nykeerdary

Jaes=God/goddess

Certain families and bloodlines have the elements born into them for example the targaryens. We dont see him use it, but Aemond is a very good Dracary. Certain places are also more likely to have more people who can summon a certain element than others. The North is said to have a lot of Nykeerdaryies because of their huge amount of snow/ice. At least before our story starts, because the witch hunter have killed them.

The word Heyks is literally a play on the dutch word Heks, meaning witch. Sterk means literally strong, another dutch word i used.

The racism our mc deals with: The racism, im white as f so i dont know what poc experience or go through, at all, and i cant relate to your pain at all, but i tried keeping it still fun for people to read, but at the same time it felt important to be there. to be present. Mc feels alone there, mc feels like her fighting doesnt matter, but sterk tells her to believe in herself.

Another reason why i kept it: Because that happens to people, sadly and we must continue to talk about it to avoid it, to stop it. there is nothing so fucked up as hating someone for something they cant control and just for being who they are.. I went with the classic ‘’go back to your own land’’ because It shows the stupidity of the bully, she does not understand, our mc cant return and doesnt want to return. this is her land now, she will fight for it. and i went with the monkeytail insult because apparently according to the wiki, merchants from yi ti wear them.

Yeah, obviously the necklace aemond captures oc with is a very zukatara moment excuse me for that.

The au is more a war between the witch-hunters and the summoners. Some part of the known world have fallen into summoners and into witch hunters. I really hope to show you guys that you got assholes on both teams.

I think we cleared the most important parts out.

Thank you for reading.

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