#-you build a true character

[katyspersonal]

Had kinda anxiety-inducing dreams tonight. A lot of themes of misfitting and caution. You know those dreams about meeting people you only know online in reality? Had one of those, but it was focusing on trying to befriend a person I don't even know much and only briefly interacted with for two times at most, before we became enemies against my will (and from what I could conclude he really hates me, to the point it'd effect how he feels towards other people).

Internet is just so fucking RICH for parasocial connections to exist. You can never really talk with someone but they'd still bother your mind sometimes, simply because it is impossible to 100% avoid something online. The dream was just too fucking unnerving. I knew who that person was, but he didn't know it was me, so I just kept asking questions about his interests or ideas, or being mindful if some help was needed (there was some sort of important activity going on that I wasn't a part of), but still kept the distance from fear. The dream also ended in a really strange way; a large centipede appeared from somewhere, but it had human intelligence and language. It judged me for not honestly confessing who I was despite knowing that person loathed me and saw me as a monster, maybe even wished me harm, and when I tried to object, it just said "You can go now" in that sorta.. dismissive manner, and I woke up. Like if it disconnected me from the dream.

I really don't know what the FUCK that dream meant, other than some sort of psychological twist on how I must be secretly hurting over not being able to be acquaintances under the waking mind layer of hostility. Makes me wonder how many of the people I hate I not actually hate, but just convince myself to hate out of fear. It is creepy sometimes, what internet can do to people. I think everyone I am close with had weird dreams about people they only saw in the internet at least a few times, so maybe it is more normal than I think. It is just.... this is strange.

A centipede is also a weird choice for manifestation of anxiety, fear and disgust with myself because I love centipedes, but it is what it is.... and, well, I've found strange kinship with Laurence recently anyways, heh. I want to say I wonder what the fuck happened to me to make me be so prideful and insufferable about my flaws but then think that a "positive" feeling such as wanting to maybe fucking NOT be enemies makes me a terrible person, but I know what, don't I. It is just a lot of mocking from normies, for years. That just tends to internalize, whether you want it or not. You just end up inflicting their insults and accusations on yourself even when no one is there.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Get Their Ass.

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[devilsskettle]

The X trilogy + "psycho-biddy" influences

[bumblingbabooshka]

It's impossible to write a TOS x Any other Series crossover [for me] without having to think about whose lens it's going to primarily be from because the vibe of TOS is so distinct and I think quite different from all series that follow it. The way the characters speak and are presented is so theatrical and of course steeped in the past that I find myself considering if this is, say, Janeway meeting Kirk (through a VOY perspective) or if I should write Janeway as she would appear if she stepped through a portal and was in TOS' universe.

[ganymedesclock]

Taylor has become very square since I initially designed them so I had to update their skeleton form to accommodate.

[itspileofgoodthings]

I don’t even fully know why but “what do I do when I miss you so much?” / “Just wait, and pray desperately” was a knife to my heart in the best way.

[blujayonthewing]

one problem with felix is that I keep going 'oh you know what would be a completely logical consequence of the life circumstances he's experienced which are completely different than mine' where the answer is something I almost immediately recognize as being devastatingly relatable to myself

[blood-starved-beast]

A lot of mariadeline fics have Adeline be the one to die first. Which yeah, makes sense that Maria would kill herself after major tether to this Earth perishes. But consider!! The tragedy of Maria killing herself before Adeline dies.

Lady Maria always prioritizes herself (and how own issues/faults) to the detriment to her understanding of others. I'd argue this is why she never notices Gehrman's mania despite it being pretty obvious (I doubt the Doll was the first time he pulled such an act.) I wouldn't be surprised, therefore, that she in her overwhelming guilt and shame over her own actions, she forgets the connections she does have on Earth and the people who would miss her when she's gone.

Idk, this was inspired by how in the Hunter's Nightmare, when you first encounter Saint Adeline she asks if you were Maria, but climbing the Clocktower Maria is currently dead (until she is Not). More likely, the fics are right but again, it's a fun tragic fanfic concept to explore.

[icewindandboringhorror]

More misc. daily life pictures and such

[jeremiahthefroge]

Every appearance of the red-haired menace that is early Laurence forces me to sit here and stew upon how I will fix his introduction in the rewrite. As a coping mechanism. Unfortunately since I can't remember the parts where his character isn't just harassment so I can't cook with the themes the way I'd like to. Like the way he calls Aph "my love" after she very explicitly in the text of the game tells him not to do that... bad vibes. I think I could rock with his character if he'd done the same sort of approach in hitting on Aphmau as heavily, but the moment she lays down an actual boundary, he backs way the hell off. I could even fuck with her trying to be subtle about the boundary and him not getting it and continuing to make her uncomfortable before she snaps at him and he apologizes, saying that he truly didn't mean anything by it, and he respects the boundary she lays like his life depends on it from then on out. It would create some immediate complexity in his need for explicit communication, and backs up the sort of deeper character hinting they seem to try to do when he's talking about Castor and Cadenza, this idea that he deeply cares, if being a bit pushy on accident. It would also make a good detail fueling the conflicts later on with the love triangle that can sort of prevent Laurence from looking like TOO much of a dickhead (him being unaware or misinterpreting situations, and the delicate nature of it making him uncomfortable asking questions, is a compelling reason to see somebody hurting his friends' feelings, and makes him significantly more sympathetic, opening him up for feelings of remorse and guilt).

[stardestroyer81]

So, guess who's Steven Universe trash now?

After being convinced by my fellow Starfighters to give the series a shot, I've since fallen in love with it only fifteen or so episodes in, and I just had to whip up a design for what my Gemsona would look like! MASSIVE shout-out to @stephysalcido and @minxxikuo for collaborating with me on her design— it wouldn't have been possible without them! 💚✨

[mymarifae]

aHA! i have finally figured out why i never jived with the kanade tenma hc. like you know me. THE found family guy. even if i don’t hc it myself i can still have fun watching other people have fun. but this one was always just 1. confusing and 2. not fun for me to see and i could never articulate why but i’ve got it now

the entire problem with Kanade Tenma is as a whole the fandom has a tendency to treat kanade like an orphan. like she has no family, no support system, like she’s all alone and needs to be taken in by the... tenmas... for some reason... (still not sure why the fandom decided she needs to be a tenma like she’s never even met tsukasa or saki. how is she getting over there. if she’s getting taken in by anybody it should be like... the mochizukis) and it’s like... guys. you do realize she’s not an orphan, right? she has family. she has good family. idr all the reasons why her grandma doesn’t live with her, but i’m assuming it’s along the lines of her being too old and frail to properly take care of a child at this point in her life - which is why she set kanade up with that caretaker/housekeeper system. it’s not perfect, but at least she isn’t being left to fend for herself

her dad is alive. just because he had a stroke and is now experiencing vascular dementia doesn’t mean he’s basically dead or that kanade is basically fatherless or something awful like that. (i’m genuinely still not sure what the fuck the game thinks it wrote irt what put kanade’s dad in the hospital but like. it wrote a stroke followed by vascular dementia. that’s what it did. “burnout” my fucking ass) i know at the end of the day kanade tenma is ultimately just a harmless headcanon, but like... please take a moment to think about the message even your most harmless headcanons might send. “if your parent is suffering from dementia and no longer recognizes you... well you don’t have a parent anymore. you need a new one. sorry.” obviously no one intends to say such a horrible thing, but remember that intent <<<<<<< final impression left on your outside audience.

having a family member that you love so much forget about you is a story that needs to be told. the prsk fandom needs to take a step back and just let this be told As It Is. kanade’s family is so, so fucking important to her. she’s only the person she is today because of her parents and all the gratitude and love she feels for them both. like, literally her most recent focus was her realizing how loved she was in light of mafuyu’s mother’s coldness. she knows that she experienced true unconditional love - something that mafuyu’s mom seems incapable of giving her daughter - and she still carries that love and warmth in her heart now. it’s what defines her as a person. it’s what gives her the courage to continue living. it’s why she believes she can save mafuyu and so many other people. she has that memory of what real genuine honest to god unconditional love is, and she’s so fucking determined to share it with the world.

kanade doesn’t... need a “new” family. her family may have suffered multiple tragedies, and it may be fragmented and a little broken, but... it’s hers. i don’t think it’s in good taste to take that away from her and try to “fix” her by placing her in a “better” family. it’s completely unnecessary.

[modperseus]

jax so stupid and mean i love him. don't let the haters stop you king💪

[br1ghtestlight]

this is so funny to me actually bcuz this is 100% how i talk abt my characters ages. i know what YEAR they were born and i know what rheir ages are supposed to be at the start of the story but i dont actually know when it takes place?? im really bad at math. There was a moment where rainbow was supposed to be 23 and i somehow accidentally made her 17 lmfao

[sun-marie]

It's been a while since I last thought seriously about Dr*gon A*e (even prior to falling in love with BG3) and I think a big part of that is I'm not as big a fan of the setting and the worldbuilding as I used to be. Like to me it really does feel like BW looked at typical fantasy settings and went "hmm okay but what if there was Catholic-enforced racism and abelism". And like. Cool thought experiment bro. Do we really need three games made by primarily white guys about that.

[etrangeres]

if you were to ask me to be critical about detco i def could, but i stumbled onto some true doom posting about modern (post scarlet showdown, largely) detco and i just think at that point you should stop reading actually