#-the mudblood incident lily still cared about snape

[lilithofpenandbook]

I like to think that even though they weren't friends and didn't hang out, Severus and Lily still cared about each other, but couldn't outwardly show it. Severus himself knew he was a threat to Lily, and Lily knew that while Severus wouldn't ever hurt her, his friends might, and they might even hurt him if he was friends with her. And although they could never ever be real friends, not with them walking enemy paths, they still loved each other.

Lily, when she finally got with James (who eventually did charm her, as he always did, and who realised he had to make some changes for someone he loved), the first thing she told him was please, just leave Severus alone. Leave Severus alone, I've had enough. James promised he would. It's not her fault James lied to her. (the only lie he told her mind you, for all his faults he at least did love her and did treat her well. Pity that love didn't win over his hate for Severus).

Severus did his best to protect Lily. Kept making excuses to his friends, found ways to keep her at least from being harmed as best as he could.

Lily would sometimes see Severus alone in the library, just there. She knew he was miserable, but she also knew he was part of a world she could not enter and she by principle would not even speak to someone from that group. Yet she also couldn't bear to see him so alone. So she would send a house elf to go give him some food, give him a warm drink, make sure he's had something in his stomach, knowing he doesn't eat like he should.

Severus would sometimes see Lily practicing magic alone. She was trying desperately to get stronger, so that she wouldn't be dependent on James for protection, so that she could protect them both. Severus wanted to help, but he didn't dare speak to her. So it just so happened a spell or two of his, written on a piece of paper, just fluttered to her. Nothing offensive, just defense, but good defense.

Lily would sometimes notice that Severus was sick, and she knew he would never go to Madam Pomfrey and tell her he needed medicine. Nor would he ever actually make himself a potion- he never would do anything for himself, and it wasn't as easy for him to access Slughorn's stuff. Lily, then, would go in, make him a medicinal potion all while muttering about "stupid stubborn boys" and leave it where she knew Severus would find it.

Severus would see Lily sometimes struggling in the library with revision for a test, and sometimes she'd just fall asleep trying to revise. So he'd sneak in, carefully adjust her and give her a blanket. And "accidentally" leave his own revision notes for her.

Lily would realise Severus wasn't in class, and she'd look to see if his friends weren't there too or was it just him. If it was just him, she'd subtly look for him. Just to make sure he was alive at least. Sometimes she'd find him asleep in hidden alcoves, or in the courtyard under a bunch. So she'd sneak over and sneak him somewhere safer to sleep, and leave him a blanket.

Severus knows Lily forgets to eat during test weeks, so she just happens to find fruit around her when not in her dorm.

Lily knows Severus doesn't drink enough water, so he finds glasses of water just appear when he's on his own.

Just small things they did for each other because they did love each other, they really truly did. It was unfortunate fate pitted them against one another.

[nightingale2004]

Severus Snape headcanon ideas

He has a journal that was gifted to him by his mother before he went to Hogwarts.

He writes everything in that journal. His thoughts, his feelings, ideas for potions, and spells, along with poetry. He even does little sketches in the journal (they're not half bad)

Ever since the marauders entered his life and his own house doesn't like him all that much, halfway through his first year at hogwarts, he casted a bunch of spells and runes on his journal so that way no one other than himself can open or see what is written inside the journal

The first page is titled "Property of the half-blood prince."

Severus never goes anywhere without it. He also casted a charm on it so that way whenever it's stolen or missing from his person, it will appear right next to him, in his bag, or in his hand

His journal also had dried plants and flowers from his journeys through the forbidden forest

The journal is very old and is held together by magic, pure determination, spite, and a dream (😂). Plus, he cherishes that journal

No one (I do mean NO ONE) has ever seen the inside of Severus's journal, including the marauders, his parents (his mother one time was granted access), his house mates, and even Lily

He once had an old walkman that he found in the streets and managed to fix it up from remembering, seeing how his father used to fix up machinery before the abuse

When he has a train compartment to himself, he immediately falls asleep (it's his only moment of peace!!!!!)

He secretly found the room of requirements that turns into a potions lab for him. He uses it for potion experiments

His experiments with potions have both literally and figuratively blown up in his face.

Would talk with the paintings of Hogwarts

Would find jewelry in the most random places and often wear some of them after he resizes them and cleans them

He loves dark and milk chocolate, along with raisins, and vanilla

Learned occlumency and legilimens very early in his Hogwarts years and has used it on more than one occasion

When he was a child, he couldn't dance to save his life, but McGonagall taught him everything she knew

He and McGonagall play wizards chess together

Before the bullying started, he secretly wanted to be James and Sirius's friend, but after they insulted his mother's house, that thought immediately vanished

Despite being very skinny, he throws an incredibly strong punch

If he did have an animagus form, it would either be a raven, crow, cat, or bat

He would brew health potions for the sick people in Cokeworth or those who couldn't afford decent medicine or medical attention. He became their young doctor and gets paid a bit on the side

Has done a lot of odd jobs in Cokeworth to help keep his home afloat

Whenever Tobias would kick him out, he would originally crash at the Evans home, but ever since the 'Mudblood' incident, he started crashing at some of the people he helped at Cokeworth's homes

He would wish he was born into the Evans family instead of the Snape family

Loves art and poetry

Has read chemistry books at the Muggle Library

He learned how to cook and bake when he was a kid

After the 'Prank' incident, he and Remus talked and have kinda sorta made amends, but there is still a wall (and rightfully so)

He loves science fiction, dark romance, romance, adventure, tragedy, poetry, fiction, horror, Gothic literature, action, and mystery, both films and books (mostly books)

Secretly loves the story of Hades and Persephone.

Will make Blancmange every Christmas at Hogwarts (hphm made this canon)

He has tried to deny rumors about him being in love with Lily and him being a vampire or a bat, but it came to a point where he was done and didn't care

His scent would be herbs, flowers, old books, and rain

[ruinofchimera]

People forget or are too young to remember that when Order of the Phoenix first came out, everyone thought Lily was exceptional because she was coming to the defence of some random slimy unpopular kid she didn’t know just because it was the right thing to do. Nobody theorized for a second back in 2003 that they were friends, let alone best friends, because they DIDN’T ACT LIKE IT. She pays no attention to him in that scene because she’s so dialled in to James even at his worst. People theorized that Snape had a distant crush. Obviously JKR wrote it that way in Book 5 to conceal the Snily connection because it needed to be a big mystery reveal in book 7, but that means she needed to make Lily’s behavior - the flicker of amusement and the bantering with James while her friend is assaulted - in the Book 5 scene work retrospectively from a characterization standpoint in The Prince’s Tale. And she makes it work by painting a picture of a shaky friendship that had turned toxic long before the Mudblood incident, and not just because of his Slytherin associations and the threat of the war. He doesn’t understand why she cares about her sister, she puts all the blame on him for them stealing Petunia’s letter. He minimizes the harm Mulciber does, she tells him that he’s supposed to show gratitude to his abuser for drawing the line at murder. We’re not meant to read it as this loving, warm, equal relationship that Snape fucked up in this one moment.

I won’t even bother to hide that your writing hooked me right away. I fervently crave insights from the time when the books were just coming out and people didn’t yet see the whole picture. I find red herring to be a rather delicious literary device, so it’s a pity that I can only imagine how the final twists of the series blew the minds of the audience. Unfortunately, I was still a child at the time, so my brain cells could not yet process the subtleties of the material. Therefore, my judgments were formed after multiple re-readings in adulthood, and by that time, I had been shamelessly robbed of the intrigue.

Many fanon trends take on deeper meaning after you lift the veil of how the material was initially perceived (being misled by the narrator until the very end and all). Taking this into account, it becomes clear where the claims of Lily’s heroism may have come from. Someone in a reblog of my previous post mentioned that even Harry, who held a grudge against Snape, didn’t find the display amusing in the slightest. On the contrary, he was terrified. So even if there was no evidence of Lily and Severus’s friendship to speak of at that time, Lily’s glorification is still dubious to me. But for some people that might be enough to plant the roots of her chivalrous nature.

I see it now. You explained incredibly well why people might have overlooked the red flags in Lily as a friend, given that they didn’t perceive her as more than a mere bystander during the incident. Unfortunately, though, I have very little faith that people still base their opinions on what they read many years ago. I mean, I reread the series just last winter, and I had already forgotten a lot of important details (for example, Lily trying to make Severus feel grateful that James had saved him). And some folk intervene in discussions about Harry Potter when the last time they touched the original material was more than a decade ago? Well, if they seriously rely on their—dare I say—ancient reading, it would be so absurd it would almost be funny. Why am I even surprised? Maybe I’m just jealous of their superior memory.

Whatever. Once again, your meta is a revelation to be reckoned with. I hadn't considered it from this angle before, my critical thinking is almost purring with an enjoyment.

[brandileigh2003]

@flashfictionfridayofficial

Feel free to give me kudos or comments on AO3 too

Fandom: marauders (harry potter). Characters: remus lupin, Lily Evans. Wc: 997

CW: (+ other things that would be in tags)

talk of injuries, mental illness. Remus is trans. Post-prank. Pre-wolfstar relationship. Lily & Remus friendship

***************

“Remus?” Lily whispered, shaking his shoulder lightly. 

Remus sat up with a gasp. “Hm?”

“Why aren’t you in your room? It’s close to… Your time of the month. You have to be hurting sleeping here,” Lily sat down beside him, eyes furrowed in concern. “Were you crying, love?” 

“Um. I just. I can’t be around him,” Remus replied. He tried to ignore the crying question as well as the one about pain. Because the truth was, Remus hurt so badly. Every single joint was like it was on fire, and his stomach hurt because not only did the universe see fit to have him be turned into a werewolf before his fifth birthday, it had him born into the wrong body, and lately his period seemed to want to line up with the moons. Remus wanted to scream, or punch something. Better yet, punch Lyall. He didn’t think that Remus fully understood what it meant to take testosterone potions and permanently change his body. 

Lily’s compassionate voice broke him down and he finally told her everything about the month prior, of Sirius betraying one of his biggest secrets. He was honestly surprised that Snape hadn’t told her yet, but he supposed since the mudblood incident, she hadn’t given him the time of day. Which; good for her. He had hated seeing her in pain watching her oldest friend get in deeper with the other dark Slytherins, and although he didn’t want her to be in pain, being close to him would only get worse as the war loomed closer. 

“That’s… Oh Merlin, Remus. I am so sorry,” she said, wrapping her arms around him and rubbing his back gently.

He was crying again, and he hated himself, more than ever. He felt tired and weak, physically, mentally, emotionally. Plus  any other way that one can just feel ready to just lay down and not really care if they ever got back up. 

He wiped his face but winced at the still tender wounds on his face. Which was yet another thing that he would always have to carry from that night. The wolf was more angry than ever when he thought that he would finally have prey, not be hungry for once, and took it out more than usual on Remus. His hip still wasn’t right, and his face now was bisected with what would certainly turn into scars. 

“I was going to finally tell him, Lily. How is that for life just not letting me have anything good,” Remus finally said. Lily was one of the only people that he had confided about his feelings for Sirius. And what made it all so much worse is that Remus had been nearly certain that Sirius also had feelings for him too. But Remus should have known that he shouldn’t hope for anything. Instead of what he thought might be a new relationship, he now felt further from Sirius than ever. 

“Want to know something even more fucked up?” he continued, laughing hollowly. “I still love him. I want to forgive him. I want to run to him and throw myself in his arms. I want to write off everything that he did as pressure because of… Well. Everything with his family. You have heard enough that I am sure that you can imagine.”

“Remus, love. Nothing can excuse that betrayal. I know that things aren’t easy. And that Sirius struggles with mental health. But, he is supposed to be your best friend. His actions could have caused three deaths. Sev, James and you. Because they would either put you in a camp for dangerous creatures or execute you,” Lily said firmly but kindly. 

“I still feel guilty though. I should just let it go. It’s breaking James' heart every time he has to leave one of us to spend time with the other. Because I just can’t be around Sirius. Classes are hard enough. I go to the dorm as little as possible. I’m afraid I’ll just lose it. And any action would be something I regret. Yelling, forgiving him, kissing him. Nothing feels right. But if I just let it go back to normal, he won’t be so sad.” 

“This is about you though Remus, you can’t put everyone above yourself,” Lily said. 

“But if I don’t I will lose all three of them. James is his best friend, his brother, his soulmate, his… something. But. Eventually James will choose him. Or I will push James away so that he will be happy too. Because him and Sirius need each other. And Peter will do whatever James does.” Remus said. He had already spilled out everything else, so might as well get into his deepest fears too. 

Remus didn’t feel like arguing. “Everything hurts Lils. It all feels washed out. Dull. Food doesn’t taste good. I think I’ve forgotten how to smile. I can’t focus on homework, and I honestly don’t find myself caring either. I either can’t sleep or sleep too much. Even colors feel muted. I don’t even know how to explain it.” 

“Remus. You’re worrying me. This sounds like major depression,” Lily was playing with his fingers. 

“I’ll be okay, I promise. I am sorry, I shouldn’t be putting all of my problems on you. I was just…” Remus waved his other hand around uselessly. 

“Remus. I want you to always talk to me. I’m glad that you trust me. But. I think that you need help. Will you come and talk to Madam Pomfrey? Honestly, if you don’t, I am worried enough I will do it regardless,” Lily said, nervously. 

Remus didn’t have the strength to fight her, so just meekly followed her through the hallways and she sat with him while he tried to explain it all to the nurse. Pomfrey gave him a big hug and said that she had a few things that might help. 

Remus managed a small smile of thanks and could only hope she was right. 

**I do not agree with jkr nasty views. I love taking the characters and making them queer 🏳️‍🌈

[shostakobitchh]

Hello! On my millionth re-read of Aim and Ignite, and would love to know how you would have wrote/envisioned Snape’s reaction to the memory Lily left for Ariel and him. When Lily says that she “loves them both”, Ariel doesn’t linger too much on those words as she knew Lily loved her dearly, having read so in the letter/seen Lily’s love and sorrow for her in the Mirror etc. I can only imagine what Snape must have felt when he heard Lily say that she loved him, even though she couldn’t truly know that he was “on his way back”... I think it’s interesting that Snape doesn’t ever think about/reflect on that moment, is it just too painful? Is it locked away forever in his mind? I absolutely adore your story and would love to hear your thoughts!

so, I love this question for two reasons.

(1) this was the very first thing I wrote for aim & ignite - the story was actually meant to end on this moment - and it is my favorite thing i’ve written thus far.

(2) I kept a lot of what Snape felt here a mystery because you’re completely right! he has never reflected on the memory, has never really thought about it. I actually don’t think I’ve ever written him ever even having a passing thought about this moment and how it’s affected him - and there’s absolutely a reason for that!

Short answer: yes, Snape finds it almost unbearable that she loved him, and he cannot mentally handle that memory, so he keeps it under lockdown. Notice that he doesn’t say a single word after they emerge from the memory - Ariel even remarks that she can’t tell if the hand on her shoulder is to comfort her, or to keep himself upright. She sees him in a very, VERY vulnerable state. I believe he’s covering his face, too - my original intention was that he was trying not to cry, actually - I know, a rare one for Snape! But it’s open to interpretation honestly.

The one thing he took away and keeps at the forefront is that Lily asked Snape to care for Ariel. She asked him to do what he should have done from the beginning, and he does, which you see when he’s strolling through Little Whinging with Ariel after the events of Book 1. He’s actually trying.

Long answer (I just typed all this out a deleted it I’m going to kill myself)

At the time, Lily had no idea what she felt for Snape. It’s my own personal headcanon that Lily always loved him, in a way, had some sort of crush but didn’t understand it until the Mudblood incident. That’s why the inciting incident of Snape saving Lily during battle drives her crazy in the flashback in Chapter 11 (I think it’s Chapter 11, anyway).

Snape, in the meantime, has always loved her - never stopped, never will. The idea that he HAD Lily - he could have had her after that night in the inn - probably could have saved her life - is crushing him. And this is ON TOP of the prophecy (and The Other Thing, but we’re not there yet).

And, despite all of his mistakes - “you’re on your way back.” Lily still believes in him. He showed her enough that night that she knows, somehow, someway, he’ll come back and do the right thing. For Snape to know she had that much faith in him - at a time when he was still a loyal Death Eater - he just can’t handle it. He can’t forgive himself for fucking up so massively.

Snape knows he could have saved Lily, but even with what happened between them it changed nothing, so he doesn’t think his love was enough. Lily, however, loved him knowing he wouldn’t come back - not for a while, anyway - but she had to try something - anything - for Ariel.

I also think finally confronting that memory will directly tie into how Snape feels about Ariel. He’s admitted he cares about her - okay, great. What’s he going to do with that? Well, right now, he’s caring in his Snape-way, but he’s not exactly doing it well. And why is that?

Because he loves Ariel and doesn’t know it yet.

And once he admits he loves Ariel, he can begin to make his way back to Lily, and what she tried to give him in the Pensive.

[sleepeatread]

Lily was Mean Girled

If you have watched the move Mean Girls, I feel like you'll understand exactly what I mean.

In Snape's Worst Memory, we see Lily half-heartedly attempt to defend him, hold back a smile and then after the 'Mudblood' incident proceed to sneer and tease along with the Mauraders. However, from Sev's previous memories of when they were younger Lily seemed the way McGonagall and others saw her as; kind, caring, gentle, ect.

From before she leaves to Hogwarts with Sev she remains this way all up until she is sorted into Gryffindor. Because that is where the change begins.

A common negative Gryffindor trait, I've seen is that they often judge a book by its cover. This is displayed by many of the Gryffindor students, past and present: Harry (against Snape, Slytherin), Ron (Slytherin, against the Snape and arguably werewolves and house-elves at one point) Mr and Mrs Weasley (Slytherin, arguably the Malfoy's), Hermione (Divination, Slytherin) even McGonagall at times.

Lily instantly displayed this trait, when Sev used accidentally magic (key word accidental) and hurt Petunia. She jumpes to conclusions based on judgements, and believes herself to be right in the moment. (A further display of Gryffindor arrogance, another 'negative' Gryffindor trait)

Because we don't know exactly how they made up and became friends, I feel like Lily had realized her mistake or curiosity overwhelmed her to seek Sev out.

Another point to note, is Lily takes Petunia's insults rather close to heart. She is genuinely hurt her sister sees her this way, calls her a freak, rips up her letters. I bet Lily did everything she could to bridge this gap. Talked about things Petunia liked, dressed a certain way acted a certain way, ect.

Anyways, let's jump to Hogwarts: this is were the mean girls thing really plays in. Lily in this case, represents Cady, the main character from Mean Girls. Regina George and her clique, the Gryffindors, represent her roommates and Gryffindor friends and the eventually the Mauraders.

Now they like Lily, but they don't like that she hangs around with Sev and doesn't have the same values as them. So even though they are not explicitly mean or cruel, they make her feel like a outsider, something which Lily is not used to and doesn't like (Petunia had made her feel the same way, and to Lily. Outsider meant freak, not worthly, not good enough) So, over time (as everyone has tried to do at some point) she tries to fit in. It's starts of small, the way she talks, the ways she dresses, the way she does her hair, the way she acts with her Gryffindor friends, compared to Sev. (who represents Janis, to an extent)

Now, its worth to note, the same thing is happening to Sev. However with one key difference: he's used to being the outsider. He's has the mentality of 'me vs the world', which doesn't really change. He adapts, he learns, however he still remains Sev. He becomes used to it, the slurs, the blood purists, but it hasn't become part of him. He doesn't have to unlearn it, like Draco and arguably Ron does. He makes friends, other than Lily for once and (this is a time of ongoing war with a notorious Slytherin/dark wizard) this protects him and others from attacks. War undoubtedly entered school, soiling Slytherin's name and turning the rest of the houses against them. Slytherin's protect their own, in whatever way they can. (And you just know Slughorn was not helpful)

Being friends with a Muggleborn was dangerous for Sev. But he didn't stop, he didn't treat her any diffrent. Slytherin's protect their own. He was a true friend.

However, they both sense a change. They become more distant, they disagree more and Lily starts to see what her friends tell her to see. Slytherin's are dark wizards and death eaters and blood purists, ect. Slytherin's are bad. Lily begins to enter the clique, like Cady entered Regina George's.

Snapes Worst Memory was the straw that broke the camels back. It was the final tether. The smile Lily had tried to hide, when she watched then Mauraders was a betrayal in its own. Mudblood may have cut the final string, but Lily wasn't the one hanging onto it.

Lily has officially entered the clique. This is even seen when she teases him about washing his pants. Afterwards, Sev realizes that thier friendship, one that he'd held onto for so long has died. It's a stab in the back, when she defends the Mauraders actions.

It's over.

I feel like when Lily truly realizes this, it's a massive wake up call. Like Cady she realizes she doesn't like the person she's becoming. However, she doesn't reach out to Snape. She's too ashamed, to prideful and in her mind, too late. But she does her best to become who she really is. She matures and grows up, but she never forgets what made her do so.

This is the Lily, the Mauraders and McGonagall talk about, this is the Lily Severus Snape became friends with. This is the Lily that James Potter falls in love with. This is the Lily that sacrifices herself for her son.

[several-more-snakes]

I’m out here getting pressed for no good reason @ marauders stans

Okay it’s for a good reason their caption was literally just “snape slander” but it feels silly, cue some incoherent rambling below: (I am DEFINITELY about to start my period)

Their post went something like, “when you’re talking to a Harry Potter fan and they’re an ‘always’ fan and you’re a ‘moony’ fan”

Like cool whatever bestie stan Remus! I don’t care, he’s the least gross out of all the marauders!! Hell, I don’t even dislike him that much though my opinion on Remus isn’t really what matters here

But like

I know it’s easy to chalk Severus up to that creepy guy who joined up with the wizard nazis and was hopelessly in love with his childhood best friend, because I was totally in that same boat for a while though I only held those beliefs to impress my crush at the time LMAOOOO

That’s not important rn though

- He joined up with the “wizard nazis” because they were a cult and he was indoctrinated into said cult. He was groomed into feeling like he didn’t belong anywhere else. He may have done this in a misguided attempt to impress Lily as well, but that doesn’t negate the grooming, conditioning, and indoctrination. Those words are all a bit interchangeable, but my point still stands.

- Yes, Severus was canonically in love with Lily for years, but he was never gross or creepy towards her?

- There is the whole ‘mudblood’ incident, which was obviously out of pocket. The subtext there reads that Severus, in total fear for what James was going to do to Lily (I’ll come up with receipts later if need be, but James was literally blackmailing Lily into dating him there) was trying to push her away from him and make it seem to James that they weren’t friends and that he should leave her alone. This was once again very misguided, as is a common theme in Severus’ early life, and it resulted in the usage of a slur, but if you learn to read between the lines there were pure intentions there however nasty his words were. (For the record I don’t ship Snily)

- Also, technically speaking, Severus can reclaim that slur but uh, that’s not exactly my place to speak on (grammar is hard you know what I mean)

- Severus Snape is not a perfect angel who’s done no wrong. He’s killed and tortured in the name of a blood supremacy cult, for one. But he’s not fucking Voldemort either. Not only did he realize the error of his ways and change himself for the better (even if he was only holding up his end of a bargain for a while,) but he watched over and protected Harry very markedly. There’s obviously more but I’m not gonna talk about stuff I don’t have receipts for.

I’m not trying to convince people not to hate him because at the end of the day that’s your call! He’s literally not real!! He’s just some ink on a page, pixels on a screen, or an image in your head. He doesn’t care if you hate him or not, he can’t. He’s not capable of that. I guess I’m just kind of defending him to this person I’ll never speak to.

Hormones man, they make you do things

[moonlightdancer26]

how would u fix Lily in the books? 🤔

Askin the hard questions 🫣

I don’t know, to be honest. In order to change her character, we’d have to change a lot in canon (Harry wouldn’t exist 💔).

I think the biggest thing that ruins Lily’s character is her marrying James. Even the whole Mudblood situation didn’t completely ruin her. I can understand why she ended her friendship with Severus, but I will never, ever understand why on Earth she would marry the devil reincarnated.

I don’t care if James changed in her eyes, the fact that he was bad enough to have done everything he did in SWM, not only to Lily’s best friend, but to Lily herself, is enough to make anyone run for the hills.

I don’t care if she and Snape weren’t friends anymore and that “she didn’t owe him anything” (I remember actually seeing some James stan on Quora saying this), he was still her best friend, there was still a point in her life where she loved him. If you’d ever get with someone who abused, sexually assaulted, and actively harassed your now-former best friend, then there’s a chance you never truly cared about said friend in the first place. Otherwise why the fuck would you get with that person after all the shit they pulled on your friend (that’s putting aside the fact that James harassed and blackmailed her too-)??

I don’t care about all that. You do NOT marry your former best friend’s bully, ever. Especially not when said former friend respected your decisions; something the guy who you somehow ended up marrying could never do.

Putting that aside, marrying James seemed to have greatly changed the image Rowling wanted us to see, I talked about this in one of my previous answers (I’ll just copy and paste it here):

She went from badass “feisty” woman with hair that goes 💃🕺 who was popular, hawwwwt, desired by many guys (including James), had her little Gryffindor friends, to some trophy wife with as much personality as an unsalted pretzel whose only friends were sexist guys who used to (🤫) bully her former best friend.

And I stand by what I said. What the hell happened to that strong, badass, popular woman who stood up (well if you wanna call it that) to the Marauders?

I honestly find it funny how Remadora and Romione haters always talk about Tonks and Hermione’s strong badass characters getting ruined because they got settled down with Remus and Ron, when it’s really Lily’s character (if you can even call her that) that got ruined when getting married.

So, I’d definitely have her not marry James, and no, I won’t make her marry Snape (I could never let him do that to himself), so she could either marry literally anyone else or just stay single. And preferably—if her and Snape’s friendship has to end—I’d have him do something more extreme or have done not-so-lovely things before the incident happened, so him calling her a Mudblood would be the final straw for Lily and it would be more understandable as to why she automatically dropped their friendship after that. It would be less of a “girl…” moment and I might actually still (emphasise on the still) have some respect left for her.

Askin the hard questions

Not exactly hard. All she had to do was not marry the abusive stalker and sexual assaulter who treated her and her best friend like shit, but apparently that was too much work for her.

I hope my answer was alright. Could you do me a favour and add to this (basically give your own answer to this question 😅)? I’d really love to hear your thoughts about this topic!

Have a nice day!

[scaryspears]

Fem Young Severus Snape - Let's discuss

So I'm working on a story on archive of our own where Severus Snape leaves Hogwarts, but it's a fem Snape and it's tagged as Snape/Sirius and James, which I'm still unsure about. I love stories where characters realise their self worth and the toxic people behind and having character growth. Fanfiction or not those stories are the best.

But I'm mostly wondering what people think young female Severus Snape would look and be like, ignoring my fanfic counterpart that I already wrote up. I will be switching between him and her for addressing canon and fanmade Snape.

Now before any Snape supporters or bashers get onto me, I'll just quickly reveal that I haven't read the books and have only watched at least 4 films, but did some research in my mid teens in curiosity. I've always been interested in the characters, their dynamics, and what if scenarios, but never the magic.

There's a lot of fanart where she's given the same hair style as her male counterpart, and honestly I believe her hair would be much longer. Long to the point where it's unusual and makes her look unhinged. Long to the point where it's too easy for someone to pull it. Most of the time using it to cover her face, unsuccessfully hiding herself from the marauders. I can imagine her eyes and face glaring creepily at anyone who disturbs her, with her nose sticking out through it. She would have a really ghostly appearance, and if you count the mudblood incident you would sense the distress, anger and sadness waving off of her. I'm also thinking of this fanart made by @iscawen.

For an obsessive personality I would take inspiration from Palm Siberia. Palm starts off as creepy but goes off to become someone we sympathise with. Not saying that you have to sympathise with Snape, but I think he's someone to pity at a logical standpoint. I'm also speaking as someone who could relate to certain parts of his character.

Her obsession with Lily has more to do with being her first and only true friend. I think Snape wants love, but that love needs to come in different forms other than romance. With the whole unpleasant parents thing, and people staying many feet away from her due to her unruly appearance, it's safe to say that Snape latches onto Lily for a reason. She wants to be appreciated, cared for, recognised for something good rather than the bad omen that the people she's stuck with think she is. And she doesn't want to be punished for being a bad omen. I guess the same could be said for canon young Snape.

I don't ship them together, and I cringe whenever I come across a fanfic that does. Not only is it fun to hate Lily, but the whole marrying your former friend's childhood bully even though he's changed is super suspicious.

With the leaving Hogwarts thing Snape would have to realise that Lily isn't the angel that her mind made her out to be, but I don't know if that's while she's at Hogwarts or after she leaves.

By this time Snape gets a makeover, none of that altering physical features stuff. Just giving her healthier hair and skin, I don't think she needs make up but I think something Goth related would suit her. The story is set in the 70s so it was more of a decade filled with punk fashion (not everywhere of course) which would suit Sirius. (Another note that isn't relevant, when the fandom gives Snape makeover stories they always change his nose to be smaller, you'll be some hating ass people). I bet Snape had a thing for formal attire so I think she'd wear something similar to Wednesday Addams. I can definitely picture her with a black pencil skirt and blouse.

Also the 70s where a different time when it comes to beauty standards compared to the ones of today, I genuinely think a lot of guys would be into her even though a lot of people in the fandom love making Snape out to be some hideous creature. I think she would resemble Shelly Duvall or Angelica Hudson.

Note: @iscawen sorry that I didn't use your permission before putting up the art, if you want I can edit this post and remove the picture. I really love it and wanted to use it as a reference as well as inspiration.

[halfblood-princes-crown]

Chapter 33: The Prince's Tale

Lily told Severus

"-- to call me Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?"

Isn’t that evidence that Severus used the word mudblood on others?

I come in peace🖖🏼 am not a marauders Stan. I promise

First of all, the emoji made me laugh waaayy too hard💀 I didn’t even know that existed😭

To answer your question:

Him calling muggleborns Mudbloods is not canon. How come nobody ever accuses him of prejudice, in real time or in retrospect, except Lily, who only finds his prejudice problematic when it’s directed at her, and who in fact, bothers to make excuses for him for years and is surprised that he sees something in Avery and Mulciber?

People say that “Snape didn't care about calling others Mudblood”.

Well then, neither did Lily…

They were best friends for 7 years. If he was so anti-muggle-born like everyone claims, why would she (a Muggle-born) stay friends with someone like that until year 5?

Lily contradicts herself. When Snape calls her a Mudblood in SWM ‘She blinks' - she is shocked when Snape said it, whatever she expected from him it was not that. We don’t see in this memory how well they know each other (we figure out later but still), but her surprise shows that it’s something that hasn’t happened before.

The betrayal causes enough of a change in her attitude that she calls him by the name the bullies use and makes her own sexually humiliating and classist observation.

She then says: [“You call everyone of my birth Mudblood, why should I be any different?”]

Then why be so shocked, Lily, if your friend calls everyone Mudblood?

If he really was throwing Mudblood around, why didn’t she end the friendship sooner? She doesn’t strike me as the type that would let him get away with using that word once, let alone for five years.

So either:

A) He didn't say it at all, and her besties fed her lies or rumors.

B) He did say it all the time, just like she claims, and… she's a bloody hypocrite and isn't as righteous as everyone thinks. She didn't care that he said it until it was made personal and was directed at her. Then she decided that Snape was in the wrong and she should cut ties.

C) Lily’s friends manipulated her as she was upset. We all know Lily’s friends didn’t like Snape, (“None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you.”) They could see this as the perfect opportunity to dig the knife and twist it. When Snape went to apologise some hours later (it was dark), it might have been after her friends got to tell her some things that weren’t quite true. “Yeah, he is ALWAYS calling ______ Mudblood, says it all the time.” And also, Lily was proved twice to be easily manipulated (the werewolf incident and James “ChAnGiNg” even though he was still hexing Severus), so it wouldn’t be shocking.

And also, even if he DID…he changed. One quote, “Do not use that word”—the reprimand he gave to the portrait when he called Hermione a Mudblood.

And now Snape stood again in the headmaster's study as Phineas Nigellus came hurrying into his portrait.

"Headmaster! They are camping in the Forest of Dean! The Mudblood- "

"Do not use that word!"

If he did use Mudblood, then this^ is more character development than all of the other Slytherins Marauder stans like combined. Cause last time I checked, Draco used Mudblood daily and he’s still a fan favorite…and Regulus Black was also blood prejudice…and apparently marauder stans like Evan Rosier, Mulciber, Bellatrix, BCJ, AND Tom Riddle…

Rowling tends to SHOW and tell things that are canon. Lily SAYING it doesn’t mean anything because we don’t SEE it. Nobody but her in canon accuses him of being prejudice, nobody in canon accuses him of believing in DE ideals, but PLENTY of evidence points AGAINST these things.

This is why I don’t really argue about the Mudblood thing, because even if he did, he changed. The whole fandom loves a “changed” character unless it’s Snape.

Another thing is, Snape is a half-blood…whether marauder stans want to admit it or not, he by definition IS a Mudblood himself…

Oh and btw, you asked your question very nicely so it wouldn’t matter if you were a Marauder stan! Kindness is valued

[blitheringmcgonagall]

My Gallant Lad - Part IV

So I got a wonderful anon telling me that this is their favourite Lily Rescues James fic, it’s part of my finished canon marauders fic We Can Be Heroes. But, because it works as a stand alone story, I posted it here in four parts. I hope you enjoy it! Set during the first wizarding war, Lily is very BAMF (but tbh so is James)

TW: angsty and violence

Part I here: After their worst row ever, Lily and James get captured by Voldemort...

Part II here: James tries to save Lily

Part III here: Lily tries to save James

PART IV

(PS this is not pro- Snape at all, quite the opposite, for this to make sense you’ll have to read the other parts, lol!)

Mulciber swallowed.

“Now help me lift Potter, and for fuck’s sake be careful, he’s perilously close to death as it is!” Snape said.

He was so angry his body was shaking in agitation.

Mulciber lifted James’ body as though it were made of glass.

                                       ***

“I’ll take it from here,” Snape ordered.

They were standing underneath the main door of the castle, which led into the courtyard.

“I thought we were bringing Potter and his vile mudblood to the Dark Lord?” Mulciber said, frowning suspiciously.

“Change of plan, Mulciber,” Snape said matter-of-factly. “I want to try and get Evans to talk, that way if Potter snuffs it, we won’t risk being beheaded by him.”

“What do you mean?” Mulciber looked at him in bewilderment. “If you attack Evans and manage to injure her also, we’re doubly fucked!”

“I won’t fuck it up, unlike you dithering idiots I actually know what I’m doing!” Snape says angrily.

Mulciber stared hard at him.

“Are you sure you’re Snape?” he said, narrowing his eyes and reaching for his wand. “You’re acting strangely and I-“

“He’s Snape all right, but under the Imperius Curse,” Lily interjected. “Expelliarmus!”

Mulciber’s wand flew into Lily’s outstretched hand.

“You?” Mulciber seethed. “How in Morgana’s hell did you manage to Imperio him? Last I heard you were wailing painfully awful songs from your cell, giving us all a headache! I thought you’d given up!”

“The great Gaels of Ireland are the men that God made mad, for all their wars are merry, and all their songs are sad,” Lily shrugged. “You just hadn’t experienced the merry part yet!”

“You’re not a man,” Mulciber sneered.

“Ha!” Lily’s face broke into a harsh smile. “What Chesterton didn’t say about Irish women is that when they’re angry, all their wars are won!”

Mulciber stared at her sullenly.

“Not my fault that you consistently underestimate me, Mulciber!” Lily shot back. “You think you’d have learnt by now!”

Mulciber’s face looked like curdled milk.

“Too late,” Lily said. “Obliviate!”

Mulciber’s expression changed slowly to one of utter confusion as he looked between Lily, James and Snape. He hadn’t even seen the spell hit him.

“What happened to him?” he said, scratching behind his ear and staring at James’ body. “Where’s your Head Girl badge? Your uniform?”

“Quidditch injury,” Lily said flatly. “Vicious Slytherin tactics. One hundred points from your House, now back to your common room before I have you expelled!”

“Whaat?” Mulciber said, looking utterly bewildered.

“I’m counting till ten. Ten… nine… eight…” Lily said.

Mulciber stumbled and turned immediately, muttering incoherent protests.

“Not bad, Lily Evans,” Snape whispered with a vicious grin. “Not bad at all.”

                                                  ***

“Outside! Now!” Snape ordered.

Lily Evans remained silent as she walked outside at a steady pace, Snape following her and dragging James Potter’s body along the ancient flagstones.

“Now, it seems that nothing will persuade Dumbledore’s man to reveal what has happened to the Dark Lord’s precious treasure, a book Dumbledore’s men stole! Potter nearly died refusing to tell us. I’m ordering you to tell me, or I’ll make you kill your own husband!” he called out.

“No, I won’t tell you anything,” Lily said with effort.

“Wow! That’s dope!” Villiers whispered loudly to Wilkes.

The two men were sitting on the battlements having a smoke and peering down with interest at the scene unfolding below them.

“Look what Snape is up to! I never thought he was into that shit!” Wilkes replied. “He usually lets us handle that kind of stuff, says it’s boring!”

They looked at each other and grinned.

“Massive!” Villiers giggled, bumping fists with Wilkes.

Snape picked up his wand.

“Last chance, Miss. Evans,” he said, dragging James closer to the middle of the courtyard.

He was holding two other wands in his hand.

“What is going on here?”

Snape whirled around.

Voldemort was standing at the castle gate, and with him Evan Rosier. Voldemort’s wand was pointed at him.

“I am quite simply trying to establish the whereabouts of your missing book, my Lord,” Snape said. “I thought this might work.”

“Rosier here tells me you have been acting exceedingly strange,” Voldemort’s voice was icy. “He thinks you may be under the Imperius Curse.”

“Rosier is neither observant nor intelligent, my Lord,” Snape said stiffly.

“Be that as it may, Severus, you are not yourself, you would not usually dare speak to me with this much courage,” Voldemort replied, stepping forwards.

“My Lord?” Severus replied.

“Let us see what happens, shall we?” Voldemort said, whirling around at the last minute and pointing his wand at Lily.

“Stupefy!” Voldemort said with a lazy swish of his wand.

Lily Evans crumpled to the ground. Snape stood motionless, as though unsure what to do.

“Ah, the spell fades, I see. I had hoped you would not be so easily overcome by it. You disappoint me, Severus, I thought you were stronger than that. I thought you knew the mudblood well enough to watch out for any tricks she might play? Or were you too enticed by her beauty to focus on doing your job properly?” Voldemort spat out. “You shall pay for this mistake! And the object of your affections will most definitely pay.”

“I’m afraid I underestimated the mudblood,” Snape said, with a condescending smirk at the Dark Lord. “I don’t know her as well as I thought I did. She should perhaps have been sorted into Slytherin. It appears that Lily Evans is a devious little bitch!”

Startling emerald eyes glared at Voldemort from Snape’s face. As the wheels in Voldemort’s mind whirled, Snape removed a leather bracelet from his wrist and tapped it, revealing a large glittering brass key.

“Póg mo thóin, Riddle!” he said, flicking the V at Voldemort (who looked momentarily stunned) as he grabbed hold of James’ arm and apparated into thin air.

“I don’t get it,” Rosier said, looking at Voldemort and rubbing his forehead as though in pain. “Was that Snape? No, hang on.. what was..?”

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” roared Voldemort, raising his head as his blood-curdling screams carried over the courtyard and into the surrounding forest.

He kicked out viciously at Rosier’s leg sending him hopping around in circles howling with pain. A family of carrion crows, disturbed by the commotion, flapped and squawked upwards from the turrets and battlements.

“Which one of you is the imbecile who allowed Lily Evans to escape?” he screamed at Rosier. “Why did none of you stop her?”

Villiers and Wilkes ducked down behind the walls of the battlements, grimacing.

A splash of white bird dropping landed on Voldemort’s nose. Rosier stared at him.

“You have some…” he said, pointing to Voldemort’s face. “Just there?”

Voldemort looked ready to kill him.

“If you don’t permanently dispose of this group of crows by Salazar’s soul, I will feed you to them myself!” he shouted wildly, waving his wand at Rosier, and rubbing his face furiously with the back of his sleeve.

“A murder of crows, not a group, but whatever,” Rosier muttered to himself, looking peeved, as he aimed Avada Kedavras at the screeching birds.

Voldemort walked over to the body of Lily Evans and stared at the darkening hair and sallower skin, Snape’s eyes looking up at him.

“Legilimens!” he intoned.

The memory was tampered with, powerfully, so that he was unable to see some of the earlier incidents, but he could see the conversation between “Snape” and Avery, Fuck Voldemort, I hate that bastard! Avery running off to hide from him. Seething with rage, he grabbed Rosier’s arm and touched his dark mark.

He watched as all his followers apparated around him, all except Snape who lay half-stunned on the ground, and Hugo Avery.

“Find Avery, bring him to me, now, or you all die!” he hissed, the red veins in his sclera protruding menacingly. “Nooooowwwww!!!!”

                                                  ***

 “I don’t know what happened,” Frank said, his croaky voice difficult to understand in between coughing fits.

“He needs to come with me to the Infirmatory,” Poppy interrupted, looking at Dumbledore and pointing towards the door.

Frank continued coughing and shook his head forcefully.

“We were ambushed… they were waiting for us… they wanted to get Black and Lupin,” he wheezed. “They got Lily and James… I wanted to create a diversion but before I could move, one of them released noxious fumes, no doubt to catch any other Order members, I was knocked out cold… I fell backwards and the thicket hid me from sight… woke up freezing cold a short while ago… I couldn’t find any trace of them whatsoever. I only got back just as Lily apparated here with James, he looks bad.”

The ancient double door burst open as he spoke, and Sirius Black stormed inside, his black jeans soaking wet, his leather jacket still in his hands, closely followed by a haggard-looking Remus Lupin.

“We came as soon as we got your owl. Where are they?” he roared, going straight up to Frank and grabbing hold of his collar urgently. “Where the fuck are they? Tell me!”

Remus found himself unable to utter a single word.

                                                     ***

The door of the Infirmary flew open, Sirius breathless as though he had just sprinted up five flights of stairs (which he had). He looked at Lily and seeing the pain and fear in her eyes, he forced himself to look at James lying unconscious in the bed behind her - it didn’t look like his brother, the bruised and battered body covered in what he immediately recognised as myriad curses, his usually tanned skin a deathly pale colour. He looked already dead. He looked back at Lily, the darkness under her eyes, her quivering lips.

“Lily,” he tried to say her name but no words came out, caught in his throat.

“I know, sweetie,” Lily’s voice a hoarse whisper.

Then they flung their arms around each other, gripping on for dear life. Sirius felt her chest heave and held her even closer as her quiet sobs filled the silent room, shattering his heart.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered back, his breath still caught inside his chest, trapped.

What could he say, hearing her heartbroken sounds?

“We won’t... we shan’t let him die,” he managed to say eventually, shutting his eyes tightly to stop himself breaking down. He moved to take both her hands in his own, looking down at her with tears in his eyes.

He didn’t even know was he trying to comfort her or was he trying to comfort himself.

“I… I used an Unforgivable, Sirius,” Lily said eventually, keeping her head down.

“I would have sprained my wrist throwing Unforgivables at the bastards!” Sirius said. “I wish I could have done it for you.”

He had badness in him already, let him hold it for all of them.

It should have been him. He should have been there instead of James, instead of Lily.

“I’m glad you didn’t,” Lily’s voice shook. “I did it to save James… it felt wrong, Sirius, it is wrong and disgusting, but I know I’d do it again to save him. Am I a bad person, Sirius? I.. I saw what they did to him, I wanted them all dead… I thought about it... I wanted to. I don’t want to become like them, Sirius, but I wanted to kill them, so badly!”

“Lily, you didn’t kill them. You could have tried to, but you didn’t. You saved James. Merlin, you saved my brother, the only brother I have left, I can never thank you enough,” Sirius’ voice broke.

He wondered what he would have done in her place.

“It was Snape, he wanted to save me, but I had to find James, I couldn’t… he hurt James, I hate him for it,” Lily said desperately, squeezing Sirius’ arms.

“Fuck that creepy bastard!” Sirius said.

“What if Voldemort kills him? What if he dies? It will be my fault!” Lily whispered. “I hate him so much, but I don’t want to get him killed. I wouldn’t care if he died in battle, not now, not after everything he’s done to James! But being tortured and killed for trying to save me? I don’t want that, am I mad?”

“You had to,“ Sirius said, gripping her tightly. “You had to try to save James. You couldn’t leave with Snape, you know that would have been wrong! You are not to blame for anything Voldemort does!”

“I need James too, Sirius, he doesn’t see that, he thought I could manage without him, he’s so stupid, such a stupid, darling, beautiful man,” Lily stopped, her hand over her mouth.

“He can’t die, Poppy won’t let him die,” Sirius whispered back.

Lily nodded, still crying. He saw her sway and grabbed hold of her shoulders.

“Merlin Lily,” he said anxiously. “Sit down immediately! Are you alright? Are you hurt? Do you need Poppy? Will I get-“

“ No, please, Sirius, I didn’t get hurt, James-“ she stopped, unable to continue, and bringing her hand up to her mouth again.

He didn’t think he could handle hearing what had happened.

“Hush, Lily, you’re both safe now,” he heard himself say.

“He... I couldn’t... I tried...” she said. She closed her eyes and swayed again, sitting down suddenly and placing her head between her knees.

“I need some water, and something to eat,” she said, sounding suddenly anxious as her almond shaped clear eyes searched Sirius’ for reassurance.

“I... Merlin, yes of course, Darling, let me get that for you!” Sirius said, relief blossoming at some small task he could do to help. “Do you want a firewhisky instead?”

“No! I can’t drink now I’m ... I’m a bit dehydrated Sirius, I better stick to the water,” Lily said, placing her hand over her lower abdomen in a protective gesture.

“Yes of course,” Sirius said feverishly, throwing his leather jacket on.

“I’ll get it,” Dearborn was standing in the doorway looking at Lily uncomfortably.

“Lily, I know you already had a debriefing with Professor Dumbledore, but he was wondering if you wouldn’t mind answering a few more-“ he continued.

“No!”

Both Lily and Sirius spoke at once.

“Not now, my husband needs me here, Dumbledore can wait,” Lily said, staring at Dearborn with a hostile expression as she swiped at her red eyes furiously.

“Tell him to go fuck himself,” Sirius growled.

Dearborn nodded, recognising defeat.

“You get some food and water for Lily, Caradoc, I’ll tell Dumbledore,” Remus said. Remus stood quietly behind Dearborn, a grim look, no obvious emotions displayed on his tired face.

“Righto,” Dearborn nodded reluctantly.

“Hurry up,” Remus ordered. “We don’t want Poppy to end up with another patient.”

“Righto,” Dearborn said, looking relieved to have an excuse to leave.

                                                      *** “You wanted to speak with me, Mr. Lupin?” Dumbledore said, gesturing vaguely towards the chair in front of him.

Remus sat down. The silence made him nervous.

“You feel guilty for swapping your week on call with the Potters. You want to make sure that your friends are protected from danger as much as possible from now on?”

Remus felt his cheeks flush. He nodded, feeling even worse.

“Good,” Dumbledore said. “I can see why you’d think that way.”

Remus swallowed. Dumbledore blamed him too? He wanted to crawl under the floorboards never to re-emerge.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly, looking down, unable to meet the Professor’s gaze. “I should have stayed…”

“That’s quite alright, Remus, these things happen, and we have to learn from them,” Dumbledore said.

Remus felt himself slide further down the chair. He wanted to cry. It reminded him of The Prank at the end of Fifth Year. It should have been him. He should have insisted Sirius go with someone else. He felt personally responsible for what had happened, and if James died because of him… if James died…

“What can I do, Sir?” Remus whispered hoarsely. “Tell me there is something I can do to help!”

He looked up and caught Dumbledore looking at him keenly, with an astute gaze.

“Of course there is something you can do to help, Remus,” Dumbledore said, steepling his hands together. “It will be dangerous though, the most dangerous mission I have ever given any member of the Order.”

Remus nodded dumbly.

“It is also top secret. You must not discuss this information with a single soul,” Dumbledore said, his blue eyes assessing Remus coolly. “Not the Marauders, not Lily Potter, especially not Sirius Black. Understood?”

“Yes, Sir,” Remus said, sitting up straighter. “You can trust me.”

“I hope so, Remus,” Dumbledore said. “Most people wouldn’t.”

Remus froze, taken aback.

“I…” he stuttered.

“Luckily for you, I am not most people, Mr. Lupin,” Dumbledore smiled pleasantly. “Lemon sherbet?”

Somewhere in the back of Remus’ mind the words you bastard and what the fuck presented themselves as appropriate responses.

He declined politely.

“I have a singularly important and quite unusual mission, and it seems to me that you are the perfect candidate to volunteer for it,” Dumbledore said, sucking loudly on the muggle sweet and leaning back into his chair.

Somehow the wizard’s eyes seemed beadier in this light. Remus waited.

“I will of course understand if you turn down this opportunity, Remus, that you may be too frightened to go,” Dumbledore said. “Other Order members may be more-“

Remus’ jaw tightened. The words you bastard and what the fuck once more presented themselves as appropriate responses.

“Other Order members have no idea how little I fear most things,” Remus said, his eyes narrowing.

“Yes, of course, Remus, I am well aware that compared to most-“ Dumbledore said, with a placating raise of his palms.

“What mission?” Remus asked.

“A mission to infiltrate Fenrir Greyback’s werewolf pack. I am aware you have already made his acquaintance,” Dumbledore said. “To see if they can be persuaded to abandon their leader and join our side in the war. And to spy on them, at any rate.”

Remus felt a cold shiver of dread run down his spine. His old Headmaster couldn’t be serious, surely. That was a hopeless mission, a pointless waste of life, a …

Greyback…

An ear-splitting scream of terror, his own. Rabid eyes. Massive yellow canines lunging towards him, saliva dripping off them. Laughter and howling.

“Tell your Daddy I said hello!”

A tearing sensation as huge teeth sank into his hip. Another ear-splitting scream, this time of pain…

He felt his hands tremble and gripped the edges of the armchair in agitation.

“If you’d rather not, I am sure I can persuade another member of the Order to pretend to be a werewolf. With some clever Transfiguration spells, which many of our members are particularly gifted at, especially your own friends-“ Dumbledore said.

“No!” Remus said, standing up suddenly and staring hard at the other man, his breathing erratic. “Merlin no! You have no idea…”

His voice trailed off again, his heart hammering wildly against his ribcage.

“So, Mr. Lupin, you don’t feel you can bring yourself to-“ Dumbledore said.

“No!” Remus practically shouted. “I’ll do it! Don’t even think about asking anyone else… I’ll do it, alright?”

“I see,” Dumbledore smiled kindly again. “My deepest apologies Remus, how very brave of you. I should never have doubted you.”

Remus bit the side of his lip. This was akin to agreeing to a suicide mission. Any sane individual would have refused to accept the offer. But surely Dumbledore had guessed he would never allow any of his friends or colleagues to go instead of him, to risk being turned? The bastard must have known all along. Yet he owed so much to this old man, this powerful wizard, the one they were all relying on to beat Voldemort and to win this war. The one who had given him a chance. Who had risked his reputation by allowing him into Hogwarts. Who had not expelled him after the disastrous Prank in Fifth Year. Maybe he was being unkind and unfair to the man. Perhaps this mission was genuinely important?

“No need to apologise, Sir,” Remus said with a small smile, extending his hand out.

“Thank you, Remus,” Dumbledore said, shaking his hand warmly. “I do appreciate your help in this war. I shall contact you shortly with more information about this entire affair. Please remember to keep this top secret.”

“Yes, Sir,” said Remus.

                                           ***

He opened the door quietly. The room was dimly lit by the fire and the large candles on either side of the infirmary bed. James looked the same, somewhere between life and death. Lily was sitting on a chair, her head lying on the bed beside him, still fully clothed, the dark shadows under her eyes more pronounced in this light. She was holding James’ hand. Sirius was nowhere to be seen, but at the foot of the bed, on top of the carefully folded blankets lay Padfoot. He was whimpering in his sleep. The shaggy dog opened his eyes briefly, fixing Remus with his mournful grey eyes.

“Sleep, Padfoot,” Remus said quietly. “I’ll stay up. I’ll call Poppy if there’s any change. There’s nothing more we can do.”

Padfoot yelped quietly, turning to look at Lily and James and then looked back at Remus and whined. He was looking at Remus accusingly. Where had he disappeared off to, why hadn’t he comforted Lily? Did he not care?

“I’m sorry,” Remus said.

It sounded curt. Inadequate.

What more could he say?

Padfoot whined once again, dropping his head into his paws, looking dejected. Remus sat on the ground, his head in his hands. He could go over, talk to Sirius, but his boyfriend always knew if he was hiding anything from him, and he was too tired to make up an excuse for what had just happened. Too tired, too traumatised, too selfish…

He stayed where he was.

Padfoot slept fitfully, beset by nightmares. Remus did not sleep a wink. He did not allow himself to sleep. The fear of nightmares kept him awake, as though he were four years old again. Besides, he did not deserve to sleep.

                                          ***

PS Póg mo thóin - kiss my ass in Irish

PS To find out if James is okay, and if Lily is in fact pregnant and if yes, what happens next etc, I’m afraid you’ll have to keep reading  We Can Be Heroes. If you just want to read on, it’s from Chapter 45.

 If you want, I can post more stand alones (Harry’s birth? the Jily engagement? Jily Wedding? Wolfstar first kiss etc??or the next part but it just leads into more stuff!)

[bi-snape]

Get you the moon by Kina - Sad Snape

I came out here to have a good time and I'm honestly feeling so attacked rn. Ya got me crying in the club (minus the club). Still here you go my friend, some nice sad headcanons about our favorite snake boi.

Ava by Famy

Get you the moon by Kina

Good old fashion lover boy by Queen

After the werewolf incident Severus starts to get depressed and more paranoid.

He and Lily seem to become a bit distant after an argument between the two about the marauders.

One day during an incident between the marauders and Severus, he calls his only friend a mudblood in a fit of anger and embarassment.

He makes an attemp to apology but sadly it does nothing and their long-time friendship comes to an end which worsens his depression.

He no longer goes to the dining hall, unless he absolutely has too. Like in the beginning of the new year in order to about seeing Lily.

He no longer speaks unless he has to, like to answer a question in class.

Severus keeps himself busy with his studies in hopes of distracting himself from Lily.

It seems to work up until he finds out that Lily is now dating James and his heart seems to shatter.

He spends all his time either in his room or in the potions classroom to avoid seeing Lily with James.

During the summer he stays with the Malfoy's but keeps himself locked in his room.

It takes a lot of convincing from Lucius and Narcissa for Severus to come out and actually eat something.

Once Severus graduates from Hogwarts, he no longer speaks and hides away in his room in his home in Spinner's End.

After a few weeks of no response does Lucius go and check on Severus.

He finds Severus malnourished and passed out in his room.

Lucius quickly takes him to the hospital.

After Severus is let out, he is forced to move into Malfoy Manor.

Narcissa does what she can to take care of him.

Somehow Severus finds out that Lily and James got married and his mind seems to shut down and his heart no longer hurts.

Severus seems to start running on autopilot.

Lucius and Narcissa are worried about him but atleast he's eating again and sleeping.

During one night Lucius checks on Severus and what he sees breaks his heart.

He walks over to Severus who's asleep on the floor in front of the window, with a picture clutched in his hand, and tear stains on his face.

He picks up Severus and carries him back to the bed, he takes the picture from Sev and tears start to form in his eyes.

The picture is a muggled picture of Severus and Lily both smiling, Lily is giving Severus bunny ears and Severus does the same.

He turns the picture over to see some writing. 'Together forever' 'Always'

There was a date written as well and Lucius broke down cause the date written on the picture was before Severus grew depressed.

Lucius knew that that picture held the last moment Severus will ever smile.

[martelldoran]

i have too grieved a heart (redux)

Fandom: HP Characters: Lily/Narcissa, Snape, James, Mary, Dorcas 

NSFW: no

Summary: After the incident at the lake, Lily realises that more than just her relationship with Severus Snape is doomed. She now must say goodbye to Narcissa.

Read on AO3

May 1976

Lily Evans was many things. She was a witch first and foremost, and currently – though not for very much longer – in her 5th year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. She was a proud Gryffindor. She was muggleborn, the first witch in her family. She was a talented potion maker, often spending her free time down in the dungeons mixing her brews and revelling in the multicoloured fumes. She was a dab hand at her charm work and liked to summon little sparkling lights to brighten up her study spaces. She was a passionate friend. She was bright, loved nothing more than spending her afternoons listening to records in the sun, and adored being outdoors surrounded by nature. Yes, Lily Evans was many things.

But at that precise moment, on a sunny afternoon in May after having just sat her Defence Against the Dark Arts O.W.L, she was absolutely fucking furious.

“Evans!”

It was the bellowing voice of James Potter. He had not stayed to try and remove Severus’s underpants as he had said, instead choosing to charge after her. Reaching the steps to the main door with her breath rushing and chest tight, she didn’t pause.

But then a hand closed around her wrist.

She wrenched herself away. Her wand was lifted and a spell teetered on the edge of her snarling lips as she spun round.

“Do not touch me!”

The boy staggered back onto the grass, hands lifted with the palms facing her. His mouth was a small ‘o’ shape and his hazel eyes were wide.

“Okay, I won’t.”

Her wand did not lower and neither did his hands. White knuckle fury still beat through her.

“I’m sorry, Evans. I went too far. I always go too far,” he said, his voice was tight, restrained as he measured each word. “Not that it’ll make a difference but I’ll apologise to Snape too, though I think I burned that bridge a long time ago.”

This last part he added as an afterthought, saying it more to himself than her. He shifted from foot to foot before slowly lowering his hands. The normally perfectly tousled black hair had fallen flat and was falling into his eyes but he didn’t try to fix it. Instead he continued looking right at her. It made him look like a little boy again.

“I am sorry. Truly. I hope you can see that, Lily. If not now, then later.”

He had said his piece. With a stiff, defeated nod of the head, he turned and made his way back to the lake. The fury had lessened somewhat. She watched his retreating back for just a moment before beginning her ascent up the stairs once again.

Half way across the Entrance Hall he made himself known to her, calling her name. Somehow having detangled himself from the clutches of Sirius Black, he must have skulked in a bush until he’d seen James leaving. Severus Snape’s normally pale, sallow face was flushed and his eyes darted around the hall, never resting on her face for long.

It was as if she was seeing him for the first time. And she was repulsed.

“Lily,” he began, taking a step towards her.

She retreated and raised her wand once more.

“Stay away from me,” she growled, in no mood to hear his excuses.

She knew what he’d say. She was a vengeful, wrathful god, ready to smite down those who had wronged her. She was Artemis condemning Actaeon to die by the jaws of his own dogs.

“Lily, please, I’m sorry,” he pleaded. He had his hands up like James but he took another step towards her. “I didn’t mean it. It just slipped out.”

“And is that supposed to make me feel better?” she snapped, wand trained on his face. “How many times have I heard you say you’re not like them, Mulciber and Avery? Then heard you defend them in the same breath? You agree with what’s being said, don’t you, by the one they call the ‘Dark Lord’. Maybe not all of it but there’s something in there isn’t there, that calls to you.”

Severus, inching forward, shook his head vigorously, lank hair dancing on either side of his face.

“No!” he wailed. “I don’t, I don’t think that, Lily. You’re my friend.”

She wavered. He was her oldest friend. He’d introduced her to magic, told her she was special, been there for every rant and every time her sister rejected her. Emboldened by her indecision, he took yet another step towards her.

A warning shower of red sparks streamed from her wand and crackled at the boy’s feet. He yelped and jumped away.

“I told you. Stay. Back. I don’t want you anywhere near me.” Her voice rose, ringing in the empty Entrance Hall. It was deserted, everybody had surrendered themselves to the sunshine. She hardened herself. “I see it now Severus, you’re one of them or if you’re not, you want to be. You and that fucking chip on your shoulder.”

She gave a humourless laugh, staring him dead in the eye. Her rage had not cooled but she was steady, held up by steel and smouldering fire.

“You’ve made it clear where your loyalties lie. And let me tell you now, if we come across one another out there” -- she gestured vaguely around the Entrance Hall – “I will not hesitate to cut you down.”

At this, he lurched forward, a cry on his lips. He tried to reach for her.

‘Petrificus Totalus!’

The spell screamed within her mind hit him square in the face, freezing the boy’s pained expression to stone. He tumbled to the floor, landing frozen on his side. She was Medusa victorious

“I warned you. Come near me again and I won’t be so lenient.” In that moment with fire coursing through her veins, she meant every word of her threat.

Turning on her heel, Lily tore up the staircase. All in a rush, she could feel the weight of everything that had just happened come crashing down around her. Hot tears bulged in her eyes and a golf ball sized lump in her throat threatened to choke her. A bathroom, a bathroom was what she needed, somewhere nobody would disturb her. Without thinking she turned her course to the girls’ toilet on the second floor.

Bursting through the door with a loud, resonating bang, a painful, heavy sob wracked her body. She stumbled towards the nearest stall and locked herself in. Animalistic wails tore from her mouth and echoed off the tiled walls. It was like her grief had manifested into a physical form and was joining her for a macabre duet.

Hugging herself, she crumpled to the floor. With her back to the door, she leaned her head back against the wood and let the grief she felt come in waves. How had it come to this? All she’d wanted to do was help her friend and now here she was.

Lily had been called a Mudblood before. More times than she truly cared to count. But never had she imagined, even in her wildest dreams, that she’d hear that word come from the mouth of someone she considered her friend, let alone said with such venom.

Tears slid in a continuous stream down her flushed cheeks. They hung off the end of her chin and pooled in the hollows of her neck and collarbones. Slowly, a damp patch grew down the front of her robes but she paid it no mind. Lily was a raw, gaping wound and nothing else mattered but her pain. Her mind was a jumble. The scene by the lake replayed in a hideous loop. Then it was the argument in the Entrance Hall. Severus’s pained expression was seared onto the back of her eyelids and her words echoed in her ears.

How long did she sit there sobbing? She cried and she cried and then, when it seemed like she had no more tears left, she cried once again. Time had no meaning in that cramped toilet stall. It could have been seconds, it could have been days, she didn’t care. Noone would come in here and disturb her anyway. They would hear her howls, assume it was Moaning Myrtle off in one of her moods and steer well clear.

Eventually, however, she stilled and the tears dried up. There was a certain calmness to her now. With a dull realisation, she was unsurprised about Severus. Some dark part of her already knew that he was lost. He wanted to be the best, he always had. And if following this man got him what he wanted then so be it. He would do it.

Ever since they were children, there had been this urge to prove himself and to rise above everyone else. It came out when they raced across fields and threw stones into a lake. It came out during exams and every time there was a potion or poison to be brewed. Glory would be his one way or another.

“Lily? Lily, are you in here?” Dorcas Meadowes’s husky, mellow voice cut across her reverie. She hadn’t even heard the door open.

“Yeah, I’m here.” Her voice was thick and raspy with disuse.

“Will you come out? We’re worried about you.” She was closer now, right outside the door.

“I can’t. I never want to come out,” she moaned. Her face hurt. There was no need to look in a mirror to see how awful she looked, she could feel the swelling around her eyes and cheeks.

“Don’t say that, come on, open the door,” Dorcas reasoned, giving the handle a gentle shake.

When no answer came, there was a weary sigh and she murmured, “Alohamora.”

Lily shifted her weight off the door just enough so that she wouldn’t keel over when her friend opened it. Dorcas knelt next to her and put an arm around her shoulders. The redhead leaned in, the familiar scent of wood smoke and amber in her nose. Dorcas’ shirt was open at the collar - her blue Ravenclaw tie undone and hanging loose around her shoulders – exposing the dark skin of her throat.

“Let’s go.”

Not wasting any time, Dorcas pulled Lily up by her armpits and observed the damage. Her glittering black eyes skated over her from top to bottom. She pursed her full lips together and tsked loudly.

“Oh dear. You truly look awful, you know that,” she said, a sad but understanding smile on her face.

A sniffle and a half-hearted quirk of the lips was all the answer she received. With a sigh, Dorcas propelled her from the bathroom. Quick steps and a firm hand on the small of her back guided her through the corridors. They didn’t meet a soul, the castle was almost deserted. Through the fog clouding her brain, Lily registered this and was thankful. The last thing she wanted was for anyone to see her, a Prefect, like this.

“Oh, good heavens! Is everything alright Miss Evans?” It was the deep, plumy voice of the Fat Lady. She ignored the portrait’s question.

“Pygmy Puff,” she mumbled. Somehow, from somewhere, a new wave of tears rushed up and threatened to spill down her cheeks.

The portrait swung open but Lily didn’t move.

“Marlene is waiting for you, honey. Go on in,” murmured Dorcas, giving her a gentle push.

Silently, she climbed through the portrait hole, leaving Dorcas to make her way back to the Ravenclaw common room, and was immediately met by Marlene. She appeared in a whirlwind of blonde hair, ready to ferry Lily up to their dormitory. The common room was full, that much she knew, and she could tell that every single pair of eyes were trained on her as a heavy silence fell. But she was too tired to care. She wanted to go to bed.

“Is Remus here?” she rasped.

Marlene nodded and pointed to the cluster of armchairs by the fire where all four of the Marauders were staring at her. All but Peter Pettigrew were unnaturally still, caught in the spell of Lily’s dishevelled appearance. Peter couldn’t seem to stop himself from twitching, fidgeting with anything he could lay his chubby hands on.

In a daze, she approached the four boys. Although she could feel James’ eyes boring into her, taking in every single red blotch and the puffiness of her face, she refused to look at him. If she did then there was no way to stop the tears that were once more lingering right beneath the surface.

“Remus, I can’t do my rounds tonight. Can you cover?” Her voice was dead, a thick monotone that didn’t sound like her.

“Uh, yeah, yeah of course I can. Whatever you need.”

There was a slight pause before he asked, “What will I tell Cissa?”

But she had already turned away, Marlene her golden shadow.

“Whatever you want. I don’t care,” she sighed.

In that moment, she didn’t. She couldn’t bear to think of Narcissa, with her star bright eyes, gleaming hair and the purest of pureblood status. It hurt too much.

Never before had the walk up to her dorm seemed so long. Every step was an effort. It was like her bones had been replaced with lead and added weights had been strapped to her ankles and wrists for good measure.

The quiet of the dorm was a blessing. Not bothering to undress, Lily kicked off her shoes and collapsed into bed. Marlene perched on the edge. Her blue-grey eyes were stormy. Words pressed up against her lips, clamouring to be released but she kept her mouth shut tight. She simply stroked Lily’s hair, placed a gentle kiss on her forehead head, told her to get some sleep and bade her goodnight. With a flick of her wand the curtains to her four-poster shut, enclosing her in blessed darkness.

It didn’t take long for sleep to claim her.

When she awoke, the grey light of the pre-dawn leaked between the curtains of her bed and the familiar snuffles and even breathing of her roommates cradled her sleep addled mind. She was still in her robes from the day before, rumpled and creased. Her sleep though deep had clearly been plagued by ceaseless tossing and turning. Mouth dry and tasting stale, Lily sat up and pawed at her still puffy face. The damage of the day before a cruel mask she would have to wear for a few more hours yet.

Lily slid from bed as silently as she could, gathered her wash bag and towel, and slipped into the stone stairwell. Before the cold could seep from the flagstone through her socks to chill her feet, she flited upstairs to the wash room. Peeling off her soiled robes, she shivered as the cool air met slid over her bare skin.

The shower’s warm water was bliss. It beat the last of sleep’s cobwebs away, leaving her mind clear and focussed. Of course, all she could think about was the previous day’s events. If it hadn’t been clear to her before, it was now. For some witches and wizards, it didn’t matter what she did or who she became. It wouldn’t matter if she was the most powerful witch or the most talented. For those few people, she would be a Muggleborn before all else, a parasite siphoning off magic from those who they deemed needed, no, deserved it more.

Names flashed in her mind: Rodolphus Lestrange, Evan Rosier, and, of course, Bellatrix Black. Narcissa’s sister. Her sweet, darling Narcissa who she loved so dearly. Bellatrix’s name appeared in The Daily Prophet almost daily now. The young witch made no attempt to hide her name or her loyalties. The more chaos and misery she sowed the better. It was reported just yesterday that she was single-handedly responsible for over 80 muggle deaths and had seriously injured several muggleborn witches and wizards over the last few months. Details on the way she conducted her business were scant but gruesome. Torture was her art and her greatest pleasure. After all, what information could a muggle possibly give her? No, it was all a game.

As she pondered these thoughts, Lily scrubbed herself clean with care and precision. She dragged the sponge across her skin until she was pink and raw. A growing sense of dread grew in the pit of her stomach and settled there, rock hard and heavy. There was something she knew she had to do.

She couldn’t shake the feeling of dread for the rest of the morning. It was there while she dressed, and crowded her while she ate a solitary breakfast in the Great Hall. Her owl, Artemis, somehow knew she was there and brought her that morning’s copy of the Daily Prophet but she couldn’t bear to open it. She didn’t need to know about the latest terrors and growing anti-muggle sentiment that was growing in certain wizarding circles. Any other morning it wouldn’t be an issue, but after the previous afternoon’s excitement, she could live without it.

Th first of her friends to make their way to the Great Hall that morning was Mary MacDonald. Mary had not changed much in the five years she had known her. She was still small and slight and still wore her hair in a blunt bob with a heavy fringe that hung into her eyes. When she rose to meet her, the Hufflepuff embraced Lily without a word. They stood like that, intertwined, for several minutes.

“Yesterday was a bit shite, wasn’t it,” said Mary, stepping back from their hug.

Lily chuckled.

“That’s something of an understatement.”

Mary inclined her head and shrugged one shoulder.

“Look, I know that Severus has been your friend for a long time, but maybe it’ll do the two of you some good to have some distance? Let the dust settle. He can maybe get his priorities in order,” she offered.

Lily wasn’t so sure but she nodded anyway.

“I meant to ask,” she said, with the most unsubtle change of subject known to witchkind. “How did Dorcas find me?”

“Oh, well, we looked for a while but couldn’t find you so we asked Remus, who asked Sirius, who asked James and for some reason, he knew that you were in the bathrooms,” Mary explained. “I don’t know how he knew. He disappeared up into his dormitory and when he came back, he knew where you were.”

“Curiouser and curiouser,” Lily murmured, unable to work out how on earth James Potter could have worked out where she’d been hiding.

After a few more minutes, Lily left Mary in the Great Hall and hurried up to the owlery. She scratched out a quick note and sent Artemis out to find the addressee.

As she watched her owl swoop through the sky, she felt a tremor of trepidation through her body.

A rap on the door alerted Lily to her presence. She swept into the spare classroom with a flourish, her long, white blonde hair swishing as she twirled. Star bright eyes twinkled at her and a broad smile adorned her face. She was as brilliant as a winter’s day and just as beautiful. Lily’s heart wrenched and she longed to fall into her embrace, to lose herself to a thousand kisses.

Narcissa pulled her close before she could say a word. She cupped her face, one hand slipping through her hair, and kissed her deeply. Lily could feel her resolve weakening with every second. All too soon, Cissa pulled away with a coy smile.

“Hello darling.” Her voice was warm, an undercurrent of excitement running through her words.

Her head was cocked to the side and she ever so gently pushed a stray strand of hair away from Lily’s face. The redhead shifted out of the embrace needing to put space between them. If she felt her touch again then she knew any remaining resolve would leave her.

“We, uh, we need to talk,” Lily mumbled.

“Uh oh, that sounds ominous!” she laughed, her smile hadn’t faltered for even a second.

“This has to end.”

The words were out like a bullet train.

Narcissa let out a cold, humourless laugh.

“No. Don’t be ridiculous. This isn’t ending. Lily, come on, this is us,” she insisted, reaching to take her hands. But Lily avoided her touch.

Hurt flashed across Narcissa’s face. It was only for a second then a mask of cool collectedness covered it.

“Is this because of what happened at the lake?” she asked, very matter of fact. “Snape is an idiot. Mulciber and Avery are rubbing off on him.”

She was being dismissive. Of course she was. It was her go to defence mechanism.

“Well, yes. They are. That’s part of the problem. What he said, there are others who think that as well.”

“And they’re wrong.”

“Even when it’s the likes of your family saying it, Cissa?”

There was a beat where neither of them said anything.

“Oh, come on, Lily! Just because my family runs their mouths about Muggleborns and blood purity doesn’t mean I believe that nonsense.”

Lily wanted to stop this. She wanted forget about the lake, the war, and the man hellbent on securing pure blood supremacy but there was no turning back now. Even if she wished it with all her heart, she couldn’t go back to how it was before. If there had been such a thing as before.

“Bellatrix isn’t just running her mouth though is she. She’s killing people Cis. She’d kill me too.” The words faltered in her mouth, turning to ash.

She couldn’t keep looking at Narcissa. She shone too brightly.

The blonde shifted, stiffened.

“I wouldn’t let that happen.”

“Maybe. Maybe not. But you told me yourself what she did to Dromeda. Why wouldn’t she do the same to you?” Lily reasoned in a quiet voice. Her eyes were trained on the hem of her robes. “I don’t want to be the reason you get hurt. . . And I don’t want to get hurt.”

The pause was bloated, filling with unsaid words, waiting to burst open like a sore.

“That’s bullshit Lily and you know it. We could run away. I could protect you.”

“I know that you would try but your loyalty is to them, not to me, and I wouldn’t ask you to choose. But, I can’t be with you like this. Your family would never accept me, never accept us. It was always a fool’s game to think otherwise.”

“You know what, Lily, you could have been a Slytherin with that attitude,” Cissa snapped, lips pursed and jaw jutting.

“Yeah, well we both know why that didn’t happen.”

“There are Muggleborns in Slytherin!”

“Oh, and Elijah Robertson’s head just magically cracked itself open on the flagstone did it?”

Narcissa drew up short, whatever she was about to say died in her mouth. And whatever it was must have left a sour taste judging by the way her face twisted.

“N-nobody knows who did that.” She faltered, voice meek and unsure. It was an unsettling role to see her play.

“Yeah. Sure. But it’s an open secret. Everyone knows that it was Dolohov and his goons,” Lily scoffed. She could feel her ire beginning to rise, heart racing. Before she could argue any further, she added, “I’ve made up my mind. I can’t be with you anymore.”

With a huff, Narcissa slumped against a desk.

“I don’t want this to end.”

It was a whispered admission. Tears glimmered at the edges of her star-bright eyes and there was an almost imperceptible wobble to her bottom lip.

“I know. But it has to.”

Lily hated seeing her like this, hated the fact that it was her fault. She shifted, twisting her hands together. They sat in silence once more. There had been a seismic shift between them and now they stood on opposing sides of an endless ravine. There was nothing either of them could say that would bring the other back.

“So, that’s it,” murmured Narcissa. Her tears remained unshed and her light had dimmed. Their eyes met and Lily thought she saw the faint ghost of a smirk pulling at the corners of her mouth. “I don’t suppose I get one last kiss?”

There was no question. Pushing off the desk she had been leaning against, Lily closed the gap between them in two strides. The pull was as magnetic as it had always been. With gentle hands at her waist, she pulled the blonde girl into a standing position. The rich silk of her robes was slippery under her fingers; its familiarity calmed the fluttering of her pulse. The expensive perfume Narcissa so loved to wear tickled her nose as they drew closer.

Their lips brushed together like a sweet whisper. Again and again and again. They were all featherlight touches.

Until they weren’t.

They were a thunder storm breaking through a summer drought. Mouths hot and bruising, they drank each other up. Hands tangled in hair and grabbed at clothes; all Lily wanted to do was lose herself in this last fevered embrace. She gripped the girl tight, crushing her against her as if they might sink together and never be apart. Heart pounding and blood rushing in her ears, her mind was a tumultuous sea of everything Narcissa.

But, with time, as with all things, they slowed. Foreheads pressed together, still breathing each other, their eyes locked together. A pink flush had crept into the blonde’s cheeks and her lips were cherry red. They stayed that way until their breathing stilled and became even once more.

It was Narcissa that pulled away first, smoothing her hair and straightening her clothes. She now avoided Lily’s gaze, trying to compose herself.

Lily said nothing. What more could she say? Anything else would be an insult.

Cissa brushed and brushed and brushed down her robes but the wrinkles in the silvery silk would not disappear so easily. She paused, head bowed, and sighed. When she raised her chin once more her jaw was set and eyes tight, but that practised mask of cool collectedness was full of cracks.

“I will see you around, darling,” she said, squaring off her shoulders and drawing herself up to her full height.

With a flash of a smile and an airy wave of the hand, she spun on her heel and left. It was only as the door snicked shut that Lily allowed her tears to come. From some unknown reserve, the tears came and fell silently onto her cheeks. She had never felt more alone.

[evanslilym]

Full Name: Lily Marie Evans

Name Origin:  Lily-English, meaning “pure,” “passion,” and “rebirth;” Marie-French, meaning “star of the sea”

Nicknames: Lil

Age: 19

Birthday: 30 January, 1960

Sexuality: Straight

Relationship Status: Engaged to James Potter 

Patronus: Doe

Boggart: The Dark Mark rising up above her family’s home in Cokeworth

Wand Type:  10¼", Willow, swishy, Phoenix feather core

Occupation: Healer-in-training

Affiliation:  Order of the Phoenix

Key information / Biography: 

Lily’s childhood was a happy one. Mr. and Mrs. Evans adored both of their girls, different as they were, and although they weren’t drowning in money, they made enough to get by. Growing up in Cokeworth in the midlands of England, Lily was a bright and outgoing child, always known to be the first to introduce herself and show around a new student or to help others with their homework. Her most treasured memories include day trips with her parents and sister to the beach, where she and Petunia would spend hours searching for seashells, heedless of the freezing water or their aching feet. 

 Lily can’t actually remember the first time she did any magic. After she got her Hogwarts letter, her parents would tell her stories about flowers blooming in the middle of winter, cookies flying out of the jar before dinner, and snow falling indoors, but for a long time, her family just accepted that strange things happened around Lily. She does remember turning Louise Ellington’s hair green for picking on her older sister Petunia and being so scared afterward that she cried. As she grew older, these ‘odd little happenings’ as her mother used to call them that occurred around Lily began to scare her more and more. That was why her first meeting with Severus Snape impacted her so greatly.

 Severus explained to her that there was nothing really wrong with her at all, that she wasn’t strange or abnormal, but a witch, one among thousands in Great Britain alone. Severus took away her fear about herself, and from that day on they became the best of friends. Lily didn’t care that he lived in Spinner’s End, the poorest part of town, or that they could never go to his house to play because his father wouldn’t allow it. She was simply content to have found someone like her, someone who understood.

 As she and Severus grew closer, her relationship with Petunia became more and more distant. Petunia felt left out and overlooked, and when the time came for Lily to attend Hogwarts, and Petunia received a letter form Dumbledore explaining that she would not be allowed to go with, the sisters’ relationship had deteriorated beyond repair. Petunia told anyone who would listen that Lily was a freak and that she wanted nothing to do with her. Lily was heartbroken, but she soon consoled herself with the wonder of Hogwarts and all the magic that it had to offer. 

 Lily was fascinated by every aspect of magic, even the ones that others seemed to consider boring, like History of Magic. She quickly rose to the top of her class and became known for being one of the school’s best tutors, always taking time to help out the younger years and anyone else who needed her help. She also     became known for her kindness, being the first to offer a warm smile in the corridor or to help another pick up dropped books. Furthermore, she was known for her fiery temper when crossed, especially when she caught others being bullied or harassed.

 Her relationship with Severus grew strained as the years went on and he became more and more interested in the Dark Arts and started hanging around with the blood purists who despised her. Tensions came to a head by the end of their Fifth Year, when Severus called her a mudblood in front of everyone by the Black Lake. That was the final straw, and their friendship ended.

Sixth Year saw the start of her changing relationship with the Marauders, and in particular with James Potter. After having a heart-to-heart about the Black Lake incident, she and James grew a lot closer, to the point that by the end of the year, they were nearly inseparable. Lily finally asked him out the first Hogsmeade weekend of their Seventh Year, and the rest was history. 

They got engaged at graduation, and both were approached by Dumbledore while still in school to join up with the Order of the Phoenix. Lily knew she would fight, and was unsurprised when James insisted he would as well. 

[chaoswillfallrpg]

SEVERUS SNAPE is TWENTY-TWO YEARS OLD and a POTIONEER in KNOCKTURN ALLEY at MR MULPEPPER’S APOTHECARY. He looks remarkably like VIVEIK KALRA and considers himself aligned with THE DEATH EATERS. He is currently TAKEN. 

→ OVERVIEW:

Bitter and arrogant, Severus Snape always thought of himself as the smartest person in the room. The only child born to Muggle, TOBIAS SNAPE and Witch, EILEEN PRINCE, he grew up in Spinner's End which was located at the poor end of Cokeworth. A curious boy, his thirst for information could not be quenched by the neighbouring children, but instead by the books piled high in every crevice of his small terraced house. Severus grew up alone, not because he was an only child but because that was the way he liked it. Thankful that he didn't have an annoying sibling following him around, he thrived by himself in his room. His mother pestered him constantly to go out and play with the children outside, but to her dismay he stayed put with his abnormally large nose in a book. Eventually she left him to it, much easier to allow the boy to stay in his room than to be under the feet of his father. Tobias Snape was a cold man, not one fit for fatherhood. What little time he spent at Spinner’s End was wasted in his armchair by the fire, taking no notice of his son and only acknowledging his wife when she did something worthy of a scolding. Severus grew to hate his father but was never bold enough to say it out loud. He kept it to himself, identifying further and further with the Prince side of his family rather than the Muggle side he grew to loathe year upon year. 

His father forced him to develop a growing disdain for Muggles and what he thought they represented. If they could be this cold and cruel towards their own kin, then what must they be like towards others? Severus enjoyed his sheltered life, not even realising what he was missing. Happy in his home-made solitude he spent his days in his room drinking in as much information as he could. To Severus, knowledge was power and he who yielded it correctly could do just about anything. His solitude ended however on the day he met LILY EVANS. Walking down the street on one unusually hot September afternoon, he spotted her walking home from the Muggle school just round the corner. Meeting Lily opened up his life to an entire world he had been missing, and he opened hers in turn. A Muggle-Born witch, Lily had no understanding of the Wizarding World, and Severus was more than happy to tell her all about it. Usually one to shy away from others, not having a high attention span for other people's lack of intelligence, Severus found Lily strangely enticing. Teaching her about the magical world and all it contained was the happiest he could be, as she sat in awe. Ever since that September afternoon the pair were inseparable, Severus would spend his days no longer in his room, but reading by the lake near Lily’s house while she was at school. They discussed magical creatures, wizarding politics and most of all Hogwarts. September 1st came around quickly and Severus boarded the train with his second-hand trunk filled with his second-hand books. 

Sorted into Slytherin, he watched from his table as Lily made her way towards her new house, Gryffindor. He sulked as he saw her make new friends who would become his biggest enemies in the years to follow. Dreams of the pair spending their Hogwarts years together quickly dwindling, Severus made friends or rather acquaintances with some fellow snakes he was to be sharing a dorm with. JASPER AVERY and LARKIN MULCIBER were friends from before Hogwarts, but were happy to welcome him into the fold if he matched their Pure-Blood ideals that had been handed down to them from their fathers. Taking this new chapter in his stride, he became close to the pair and got involved in their more light-hearted jesting of the other students. Only able to take them in small doses however he often found himself alone. He got a reprieve from the loneliness the following year when REGULUS BLACK joined Hogwarts and was sorted into Slytherin alongside him. A quiet and sullen boy much like himself, the pair got on exceptionally well, often reading in silence and discussing more intellectual subjects than Avery and Mulciber were seemingly capable of. What little time Severus wasn't spending with his nose in a book he would spend staring across to the Gryffindor table. He watched throughout the years as Lily made friends with the Marauders. JAMES POTTER, SIRIUS BLACK, REMUS LUPIN and PETER PETTIGREW slowly became famous at Hogwarts, shining in the foreground of Lily’s life while Severus felt himself slowly fade away from her life. 

What started as small glances here and there became an obsession with the boys who occupied Lily’s day and bitterly disliked him as he took up whatever little time she had left. James, the ringleader of the group despised Severus and encouraged his little minions to join him in the torment. James’ dislike for Severus however was nothing in comparison to the Slytherins' dislike of James; his arrogant egocentric personality made him an easy target for Severus’ disdain. Severus truly despised the boy due to his total and complete ability to capture the attention of Lily, who whenever he would glance over to the Gryffindor table almost seemed to be softening towards the scruffy-haired boys clear attention-seeking antics. His friendship with Lily had become strained over the years, both tried to keep it alive and thriving but the influences of their different friendship groups led to tension between the pair. Severus spent most of his free time investigating the group of misfit Gryffindors that were stealing his friend away, adamant they were hiding something, their cruel taunts, ‘Snivellus’ jokes and their closeness to a certain redhead only adding fuel to his fire. It all came to a head when a prank gone wrong masterminded by Sirius ended up with Severus owing a life debt to the one he despised the most, James Potter. He had followed the group one evening with a personal invite to do so by Black to find Lupin turning into a werewolf in front of his very eyes, a stag jumped between the pair and led the beast away. 

Severus later found out in PROFESSOR DUMBLEDORE’s office that the stag was none other than James in his animagus form when the headmaster was swearing him to secrecy about the matter. After the incident Severus tried to keep away from the Marauders and Lily consequently. The time he used to spend watching them he would now spend in a foggy potions room working on elixirs that were far beyond the capabilities of a normal Hogwarts student. He thrived in the subject, along with DADA and when it came to revising he would seek out Reg rather than Lily more and more. The last thread keeping their friendship alive was cut the day James Potter decided to use one of his own spells against him. Severus had a knack for inventing new spells, and the Levicorpus spell had taken Hogwarts by storm, not knowing he was the creator of the charm, James used it to humiliate Severus in front of Lily and his friends. On this occasion, like so many others, Lily defended the boy, still under the illusion he was her best friend even though they hardly spoke these days. Severus was not a boy who wanted to appear weak, he didn't like the idea of people thinking he couldn't defend himself, and so he took his annoyance out on the only person he truly cared for and before he could think the words ‘filthy mudblood’ were out of his mouth. The next thing he knew he was hanging upside down by his ankles from a tree and watched as Lily walked away from him and their friendship. After that Severus fell further into the crowd of Slytherins, following the path his housemates pathed for him, he and his friends would use the word ‘mudblood’ with much more frequency, so much so that it drew the attention of Larkin’s older brother who had a proposition for the trio. 

The three boys were introduced to THE DARK LORD, a man who had ideas about blood purity and what to do with mudbloods, fueled by his annoyance of the Marauders and Lily, and the fact it would seem Regulus was already part of the fold, Severus signed himself up to the cause. Severus finished Hogwarts with exceptional grades, the best potioneer PROFESSOR SLUGHORN had seen in all his years of teaching and fell in to working at Mr Mulpepper’s Apothecary as a potioneer. When not working at the shop, Severus is usually at The Death Eater headquaters meeting with his mentor of sorts LUCIUS MALFOY, a man he had heard of but never met before, Lucius guides and informs him of the needs of their leader. Through his job Severus was also reintroduced to a woman he knew from school, several years his senior, PATRICIA RAKEPICK was a curse breaker for Gringotts and had a specific interest in the subtle art of potions and so would frequent the shop several times a week. He had found the girl annoying and gaudy at school but had found his feelings about her confused since. His love/hate feelings for her intrigued him greatly and with each visit she made to the shop he became more aware of the spark between them. Scared that his interest had everything to do with the girls flaming red hair and fiery personality Severus was at a loss for how to proceed, especially in a world where he has to worry about his supposed unwavering loyalty to a cause and a man he does not quite know if he supports.

→ ADDITIONAL INFORMATION:

Blood Status → Half-Blood

Pronouns → He/Him

Identification → Cis Male 

Sexuality  → Greysexual

Relationship Status → Single

Previous Education →  Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry (Slytherin)

Family → N/A

Connections  → Lily Evans (object of affection), Patricia Rakepick (potential love interest), Regulus Black (close friend), Jasper Avery (close friend), Larkin Mulciber (close friend), Lucius Malfoy (mentor), Clarence Mullpepper (boss), James Potter (adversary), Sirius Black (adversary), Remus Lupin (adversary), Peter Pettigrew (adversary)

Future Information → Traitor to The Death Eaters, Eventual Member of The Order of the Phoenix

SEVERUS SNAPE IS A LEVEL 7 WIZARD.

[everybodylikesgayshit]

people who think Snape was a good person listen to this please (part 1)

So I read this post about how Sirius fans support and love Sirius after"the prank" and how blind were we cause we hate Snape "just" cause he called mudblood Lily.

And I have to talk about this shit cause aaaaaaag.

Frist; It's not just because he call Lily mudblood. It's because he was obsessed, he abused child until Neville longbottom worst fear was his potion teacher , he didn't care about a baby's life or even how mentally damaged will probably Lily will be if she stayed alive, he just care about his own fucking ass. He is not a hero. He is a teacher that makes his own students cry, feel stupid, stressed and useless. And I don't care about the "the mauraders bullied him" Because I suffer bullying and I moved on and not make everybody responsible about what happened.

Second; we are not saying that Sirius was perfect. He has a lot of problems and pressures, he was a narcissist boy probably. And his own insecurities probably consumed him. He was abused to, but I don't see him making Hermione uncomfortable around him, I don't see him making someone changing their appearance because he make they feel uncomfortable. He was living in the house he was abused and still being more rational than Snape.

Third; You are forgetting about Remus and Lily personalities.

Lily will probably feel offended about that, but she will give him a second chance, she was the kind of person that saw the good in everyone, she will give him a second chance. So we have two options.

He didn't regret or that one time was his second chance.

Now think about Remus, he was a very closed person, a person who his trust must be Deserved, I don't see a teen Remus a "second opportunity" guy, more with his little furry problem. But he forgives Sirius.

Imagine how hard Sirius was working on being his friend (cofcoflovercofcof) again. Imagine how hard must be for both of them.

Fourthly: Sirius didn't expect Snape take seriously the werewolf think, it was not his intention to hurt anyone.

Snape hated everything in the muggle world, except Lily. He would not even regret if the muggle born he called mudblood was another student.

I will say it one time and one time only Snape didn't grow up after the mudblood incident, he became a Death Eather. Sirius grow up after the prank.