#-the mom friend or the mean lesbian or both somehow just so they can pretend they arent ignoring them

[eyestrain-addict]

I feel like "many writers and creators side-line and under-develop female characters within their story and thus many people aren't interested in said characters" and "fandom often overlooks female characters and/or flanderizes them so they can more effectively side line them for preferred male characters" are two thoughts that can and should coexist.

[omegawolverine]

goth kid headcanons, gimmie. -Batz 🖤💜

cracking my knuckles and snickering gayly lets go

pete:

-ends up being the shortest goth by the time theyre all in high school (with the exception of firkle who is still in middle school, but he is also taller)

-hello trans dude. i see u. he/they/it + neos

-listens to evanescence more than he'd like to admit

-his favorite color is teal but it doesnt look good on him so he sticks with red and purple, both of which he likes and looks good in

-he is absolutely horrendous when it comes to dying his hair despite the fact that his hair is the hardest to dye and maintain out of all four of his friends. you'd assume he wouldve learned at some point after years of having it done but he is just Clueless. henrietta is the one who bleaches and dyes it red, michael helps with buying him stuff thatll maintain the color longer, firkle reminds him when he needs a touch up. his hair would be a mess without them.

-writes to fruitiest poems about michael but like. in the most gruesome ways possible? like they are very gorey but in a romantic way. michael finds them endearing. firkle would be lying if he said he wasnt a bit concerned.

-going off that ^ pete is a hopeless romantic and his love language is gift giving. he's always getting the homies shit they dont need but he knows they want and it's gotten to the point where they have to not say when they like things just so he stops spending money

-has a big sweet tooth (which is basically canon, have yall seen how much sugar he puts into his coffee?) but he pretends he doesnt

michael:

-is very bad with expressing himself verbally so he writes long ass essays when he is upset or needs help or whatever and gives them to the goths

-the groups resident slur sayer. stop calling ur boyfriend a faggot in public before u get ur shit rocked pls-

-is on honor roll and he is embarrassed by it just bc south park gives them like. t shirts and shit as a "reward"? it's weird as fuck.

-wants to be a piercer when he gets older, has given firkle and pete a couple piercings

-has a stick and poke of a cat on his ankle from craig. it was an odd experience but he still likes it.

-his favorite movie is donnie darko. he does not understand the plot At All.

-even tho giving (+ recieving) compliments makes him uncomfortable, he tries to give them to his friends bc he knows they all get shit from other people for various reasons and he doesnt want it to affect them. he hopes it balances out or smth

-him and henrietta have best friend necklaces made out of resin encased bugs

-has broken his nose at least twice in a moshpit

-really likes collecting rocks <3

henrietta:

-is the mom friend but like. an aggressively caring way.

-is naturally a blonde but she dyes her hair black. only her family and the goths really know

-also on honor roll but she is very proud of it <3

-she is tall!! like 5'11" ish!!!

-is the laziest when it comes to doing makeup out of the four of them. literally just puts on bottom eyeliner then Goes. meanwhile pete and firkle are out here doing a full face every morning and michael is color correcting his eyebags just to REAPPLY MAKEUP OVER THEM.

-wears rings on every single finger bc she likes the jingle jangle

-always writes personalized stories for each goth during the holiday season

-really good at math but hates doing it

-resident mean lesbian <3 just wants her boys to shut up so she can think about Girls

-does the whole groups nails every week for funsies

-her room has an oogie boogie shrine that freaks michael out. he is not a fan of the big bag man. thinks the movie mightve given him a lasting fear of Just oogie boogie.

-has somehow befriended kenny wendy and pip. they are her normie exceptions <3

-weirdly good at fps games considering she doesnt like them

firkle:

-threatens everyone. sometimes he means it. he is like the worlds shittiest chihuahua that just barks at everyone and you can never tell when he's gonna actually bite.

-trans dude no2. he/it. maims cis peo-

-listens to n unhealthy amount of metal music in his free time

-very into candles and incense, it drives pete crazy bc he has a sensitive nose

-the other goths have never seen his house bc firkle thinks his parents would be very weird about him having only older friends

-has a soft spot for shows like beyblade digimon and adventure time

-once watched all of switched at birth by himself just so he had something new to complain about everytime he met up with the goths. they offered to watch with him and he gave a very firm no.

-wants a pet opossum more than anything

-love language is being way too protective of ur friends who are way older than you and can handle themselves

-big dnd nerd

-in dire need of a regular sleep schedule but he also hates sleeping bc it feels like "wasted time"

-doesnt like asking for help but he tries to anyways bc he knows it makes the others happy

[itwoodbeprefect]

(different anon, but!) now i’m curious - how would you do an actual crossover between sga and h50?

gosh, crossovers are honestly very far out of my wheelhouse (in that i don't read them and i don't write them because i'm sure they can be very good!! but it's just always felt vaguely awkward to me), but i can definitely throw some thoughts at the wall!

okay, so, i assume that if we're talking crossovers that means we want the characters to meet while keeping both canon universes intact, which is fine, because there's not really anything in either of them that would contradict the other. a very easy out would be to put the stargate program on steve's resume as one of those very top secret missions that he drops into conversations just to watch danny be annoyed when the only answer to all of his questions is "classified". another take could be to - and it keeps coming back to this, for some reason - steal some plot beats from vegas, as in, a live wraith has somehow found its way to earth and has gone undetected, but the detectives on the case, which would now be steve and danny, can feel that something is up. those two starting points could also both work, of course: steve has that background (but has been out of the stargate program since he came to hawaii and probably doesn't know what a wraith is), so he can see there's something off about these bodies they keep finding with causes of death that fascinate and puzzle max and really frustrate danny, and he makes a call to sam, who alerts the right people, which is how eventually some experts get called in, which obviously need to come from atlantis, so that's john and rodney and definitely carson (there's dead bodies to be examined!) and maybe teyla and ronon too, because you need a tracker if you want to find that wraith.

or, alternately, and actually way more interesting on second thought: jeannie still drops out of the scientific community because she gets pregnant, but then she realizes that even though caleb is an incredibly sweet vegetarian english major and will definitely be involved in the raising of their child, she can't marry him because she's a lesbian. so. what i'm saying is. jeannie mckay/mary mcgarret, recently invented rarepair. jeannie marries mary instead, and when jeannie gets kidnapped obviously rodney, john and ronon still show up (plagiarizing miller's crossing this time - see! there's episodes of sga other than vegas!), BUT mary has already made a call to her big brother, like help, my wife is missing, and of course steve and danny have also sprung into action, and inevitably the two investigations end up running into each other. steve's like "we know about atlantis" (either because again, steve was part of the stargate program, or because jeannie told mary, like she did with caleb in canon, and now that jeannie is missing mary shared what she knew with steve and danny) and john's like "... what's an atlantis?" at the same time that rodney blurts "how?" because his SISTER is MISSING and he has no time to pretend he cares about secrecy when that's obviously a moot point anyway. at some point rodney is like, this is my SISTER we're talking about!, trying to make the point that he has more of a personal stake than anyone else, and steve's like, she's a sister to me too!, and they probably have a talk about growing up with bad parents (rodney feels a little better about his once he hears about steve's my-mom-pretended-to-be-dead-so-she-could-raise-my-arch-nemesis-who-then-killed-my-father issues) and about how that can lead to accidentally becoming estranged from your little sister, and about how to fix that. this leaves john and danny in each other’s unlikely company, so danny’s like, “... how’s living in another galaxy?” and john’s like “pretty cool. we have flying ships” and danny’s like “PLEASE don’t tell steve about those. he WILL crash them” and john’s like “noted. hey, i heard you guys have kids?” so danny gets out his phone to show him pictures of grace and charlie and doesn’t correct him on the part where he seems to think they’re steve’s kids too, because why bother. they of course save jeannie and bring her back home safe to mary and madison (and caleb). once everyone heads back home there’s probably a thing where john and rodney talk while on the deadalus and realize that if it can work between steve and danny, then why not between them, and meanwhile on some plane somewhere steve and danny are having the exact same conversation in reverse (because none of them were actually dating yet, but they both thought the others were). this works out well for everyone involved until jeannie and mary’s big tenth wedding anniversary party, at which the truth somehow comes out, but then all of the guys realize that in the grand story of their lives, with all of the strange things that have happened to them all, this really isn’t even that weird. (it is that weird to jeannie and mary, though. it’s the ONLY story they tell ANY of their friends for an entire year. madison grows up and writes a semi-autobiographical book about her family and the strange case of how her uncles ended up together and it’s a new york times bestseller but also gets called “sweet, but a little implausible”.)

[szivtalan]

character ask: kagami, momoi, alex and himuro 👀👀👀

!!! omg thank u Ceru! u might be one of my favorite mutuals <33 (putting this under a read more just so I can speak at lengths about each individual character)

Why I like Kagami: this is where I sarcastically ask “why DON’T i like him” but that’s literally the next question so; he’s everything i want to be and more. He has the determination and the willpower to make his own dreams come true, he’s gay as shit, he’s tall and buff and well-adjusted, mature enough to live on his own at an annoyingly young age, he’s funny and dumb and a total himbo as well as an excellent advisor bc of how grounded he is.

Why I don’t: I’m... not really good with explosive people. Violent men with loud voices especially scare me, and I’d think I’d flinch around him a lot and that would make me rlly anxious.

Favorite episode: it’s a toss-up between the Seirin fam visiting his place for the first time (is it where Kuroko confesses his love to him and then passes out in his arms? idk), and the onsen episode. I also loved all his plays against Kise and Aomine. AND the training camp w him running a lot in the sand.

Favorite season/movie: season 2 probably because he’s not a jerk anymore, but he’s still on his way to shed off any asshole behavior stuck to him. And I actually liked Last Game?

Favorite line: “There’s no such thing as useless effort.” and “This is our drama and we write the plot.” because he’s so ridiculous.

Favorite outfit: all of his casual fits... comfy but manly is my Jam

OTP: AoKaga....they’re truly soulmates, star-crossed lovers, canonically brought together by fate.

Brotp/otp no. 2: KagaKuro, I love them

Head Canon: I have several collections because I think too much about this boy, but here’s something I think about his family: he doesn’t know what happened to his mom. He never asked, because it wasn’t relevant, and he didn’t want to inconvenience his dad by questioning him. Occasionally, as a kid he felt like he was missing out on something (seeing other kids with their moms, feeling like they’re being treated with much more gentle care because they have moms), but as he grew older he realized that nurturing behavior shouldn’t have been limited to only a mother, and that he was just straight up neglected without any regards to missing a parent in his life.

Unpopular opinion: I never realized this was an unpopular opinion but I’m glad he went back to America at the end of Last Game. Obviously, it’s sad that he had to separate from the others, but I felt like Japanese basketball has always been just a stepping point to him, and now that he’d beat the best of them, it was time to move on. And it also warms my heart that him getting scouted in the US gave Aomine hope to aim big, too. I felt like both of them would’ve felt trapped in Japan with their skill sets.

A wish: I want him to be happy and gay and to confront Himuro and tell him how hurt he was by how he treated him and probably do the same to his dad too

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: ....whatever I’d say Shinsun has probably written it/will write it, but I don’t want him to forget about the GoM just because he becomes a world-famous athlete.

5 words to best describe them: sweet child with anger issues

My nickname for them: not mine (it’s Sypha’s) but “Kags”, Kagami, Tigerboy, Kagababe, Baby

Why I like Momoi: she is SO nurturing and sweet and she cares so much about her boys!! I’m sorry it always turns into “how they remind me of myself” but actually I get feeling like a background character and being the moral/emotional/physical support of those who are more talented or in any way better than you. I feel a strange kind of kinship with her and also,,, feminine girls make my heart stop, and it doesn’t get more feminine than Momoi. Added: Aomine aside, the Touou team wouldn’t worth shit without her skills tbh, and she’s not in any way less than the GoM. Also, I appreciate her being the one person to try to keep their friend group together.

Why I don’t: Analytical People Scare me like!! how do u know stuff people are Unknowable!! I usually am also irked by her pointing out Riko’s breast size but I can just pretend that’s in a gay way (maybe Momoi likes girls with small boobs and she’s just bad at flirting) (also I don’t exactly liked her calling Aomine a “ganguro” but I have too little knowledge on the use of this word to say exactly why)

Favorite episode (scene if movie): uh the one where Aomine made her cry? It really came through how much love she actually has for her friends at that one.

Favorite season/movie: she was great in all of them!!

Favorite line: I can’t remember the exact quote and Google isn’t really helpful either but the one where she made Kuroko promise they’ll always play together or something? Or that they’re gonna beat Aomine?? idk?

Favorite outfit: I like all of them but mostly I just appreciate her wearing so many hoodies, she looks so cute in them

OTP / Brotp: it’s both AoMomo. I feel like the have the most special and strongest bond in the entire series.

Head Canon: She’s never been shown to do, but I feel like she wears Aomine’s clothes a Lot. Also, they definitely have sleepovers To This Day.

Unpopular opinion: Momoi is good at basketball and she loves playing!!! But try being successful in it when ur opponents are Giants and Way More Buff than you are

A wish: I wish people appreciated her more!! Both in fandom and in canon. She’s an amazing person and she has her own skills and strengths that are rarely explored or even mentioned anywhere.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: her falling out with her boys ;-; I do not want that

5 words to best describe them: strawberry sweetheart to steal ur heart

My nickname for them: Satsuki :> I feel like it’s a little too much to call characters on their first names sometimes but hers is so cute I can’t

Why I like Alex: yet again another woman with an extensive skill set. I love her persistence and again I appreciate getting disillusioned and finding your way back to the thing you love. Also it’s just sweet that she did that by teaching (again, something I can relate to)

Why I don’t: the whole “kissing children” thing rubbed me the wrong way but again, just like Momoi’s obsession with comparing breast sizes, it’s just bad/sexist writing from Fujimaki probably

Favorite episode (scene if movie): adshg any and all where she expressed that Himuro and Kagami are equally important to her <33 that shit makes my heart burst

Favorite season/movie: she only appears towards the end of s2 and in s3 so... I guess s3?

Favorite line: its so Bad that u literally can’t find the iconic quotes of these iconic ladies anywhere but... her story on finding her passion again through teaching kids, and anytime she mentions her fondness of Kagami and Himuro.

Favorite outfit: her iconic olive green coat with the short red shorts... wtf was that I loved it.

OTP: she doesn’t really interact with people her age but I’ve heard she’s shipped with Masako Araki and I’ve seen some seriously good fanarts and like... Yes Good I’d Love To See It

Brotp: I feel like her and Himuro would be that sassy pair that Kagami tries and fails to contain and they get into all sorts of weird, absurd situations asdjs what I’m trying to say is Kagami has to bail them out of jail from time to time

Head Canon: fck me if I’m wrong but she’s the lesbian single mom of the two gay kids she reluctantly adopted from the streets

Unpopular opinion: it’s more like another headcanon, but she can dunk and she taught Kagami how to do it.

A wish: I’d love her to coach the Seirin fam more!! Pls let her be part of her children’s lives (she could also judge streetball games between the goms it would be fun)

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: anything about her being romantically involved with her pupils makes me.................no

5 words to best describe them: Beautiful Beach Blonde Basketball....goddess

My nickname for them: Alex!! sometimes An Icon

Why I like Himuro: em dash Asdgsdj I’m joking, I’m becoming more and more fond of the boy. Once I realized that he shouldn’t have been the “bigger person” in that situation and one year doesn’t really mean much when you’re that young and that hurt, I realized he’s actually a good and hard-working kid and I’m sorry for giving him so much shade. Also I really like his snark and sass, but that might not even be canon at this point tbh

Why I don’t: I’m still sort of irked by him beating down on Kagami because he was envious/mad, but I realized the aspect of that situation that Really got to me was how devoted Kagami still was to him after all that. That devotion was what felt toxic, nothing that Himuro actually did to him.

Favorite episode (scene if movie): the time they met up w Kagami just to exchange a dramatic socially distancing bro fist and a few encouraging words.... gays be Like That

Favorite season/movie: I really didn’t mind s3 Himuro

Favorite line: apparently he’s said some iconic stuff that I don’t remember (and my sources don’t seem really legit) but I’m gonna say “let’s see you become number 1, bro” because again, that’s just so ridiculous and endearing. On one hand he really went from loathing Kagami to rooting for him and wanting him to reach his full potential and on the other, honey ur  like 17 stop speaking like That

Favorite outfit: his knitted V-neck sweaters and the black coat with the white fur.... boy’s got all the fashion sense that’s missing from Kagami

OTP: can I say.....AoHimu asdfh I ship 3/4 of these characters with Aomine what does that say about me

Brotp: KagaHimu. They can be sweet, but I’ve only ever seen Jake write them really well

Head Canon: I’ve been entertaining the idea of....trans Himuro.....

Unpopular opinion: everyone thinks that Kagami is the violent kid and Himuro is the chill, sweet child who’s somehow wound up with this mess of a fiery tiger, but it’s actually Himuro who taught Kagami how to fight and Kagami learned quite a lot of aggression from him

A wish: I feel like Himuro should’ve gotten a separate episode to explore his thoughts, feelings and past. He had so much potential as a character Is2g

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: him quitting basketball would fucking destroy me. I’d be devastated for others too, but it would really pull on my heartstrings if he just dropped the only thing he’s been so passionate about.

5 words to best describe them: gender-non-conforming emo child

My nickname for them: Himu, Tatsuya, Tatsu

[wigwurq]

WIG REVIEW: THE HAPPIEST SEASON

You guys! I finally watched the lesbian holiday movie!! Though when I texted my mom to tell her I was finally watching this, she thought I was talking about The Prom and I laughed for a real long time about it (mainly because it will take me an even longer time to get around to hate watching that!) It already took about a month to get to this one. There is a lot to discuss here - and also one wig!

So this is the first (big budget) holiday lesbian movie, which I am very here for. However, most of the movie feels like a combination between My Best Friend’s Wedding, Meet the Parents, and The Family Stone but with lesbians. Those movies were made between 1997 and 2005 and this movie feels like it should exist somewhere in that time as well. The whole plot of the movie is basically that Kristen Stewart (Abby) has to pretend NOT to be Mackenzie Davis’s (Harper’s)  long-term girlfriend for the sake of Harper’s conservative family with local political aspirations while also spending 5 days with them during Christmas. It’s a conceit that exists solely in these brand of garbage holiday rom coms but definitely one that feels bizarrely antiquated as well. 

Anyway! There is only one wig in this movie which belongs to Davis, who had a vastly superior lesbian wig in that one episode of Black Mirror that made us all cry. We first see this under this hat where it should have hidden for the rest of the film! 

Sadly, the next scene involves the full emergence of this wig and truly: NO. This thing is dried out, bent, and disheveled in not a cool way (Stewart’s actual hair is disheveled in a cool way, though). The entire presence of this wig bothers me because: just have her have whatever hair she has? This is not a historical recreation (that I’m aware of?) and she is not playing a real person! This feels like when SNL cast members wear wigs in sketches for similarly non-existent reasons. However, SNL wigs are vastly superior to this mess!

So anyway, Harper invites Abby to have Christmas at her parents’ house in the heat of the moment during a very romantic (?) Pittsburgh Christmas lights tour which is apparently something that exists. Abby conveniently, and completely for the sake of this plot to work (?) does not like Christmas and also is an orphan, getting rid of any possible Christmas plan conflicts. And then literally on the way to visiting Harper’s family, she is all: by the way, they don’t know you’re my girlfriend or that I’m a lesbian and you have to go along with it for sake of this movie to exist even though this is absolutely a terrible thing to ask of anyone, periodt. But we are beginning to find out that Harper’s character is as full of garbage as her wig. 

So we meet the parents, who are Victor Garber, Mary Steenbergen, and also Mary Steenbergen’s iPad which vulture correctly identifies as the star of this movie AND IT IS. Especially during the end credits where we get to see all the pics the iPad takes! But I’m getting ahead of myself. The parents live in one of those cavernous houses that is definitely a mansion but tries to feel homey even though it probably has about 12 bedrooms and usually only exists in a Nancy Meyers movie. Despite its amount of bedrooms,  Abby has to sleep in a basement bunker which also doubles as a well organized rubbermaid storage unit. For the rest of the movie, Abby is treated like a subhuman trash person much in the way Ben Stiller is treated in Meet the Parents and Sarah Jessica Parker is treated in The Family Stone, except they don’t also have to pretend to not be in a relationship with the family member they arrived with. This conceit becomes so degrading that you honestly wonder why these people are still together!

Abby endures scene after scene of total nonsense and still looks better than the wig on her terrible girlfriend. Which starts actually looking better in a few of these scenes but still is very much a terrible and noticeable wig which is on par with Rachel McAdams’ wig in Mean Girls in that we are constantly told that these women are gorgeous and every single time I ask “YOU MEAN WITH THAT TERRIBLE WIG ON THEIR HEADS????” I suppose this wig was “necessary” because Harper’s two sisters also have long-ish brown hair so they were going for some sort of familial consistency except one daughter has a terrible wig and the other two have hair. Also one sister is Alison Brie, who plays a harpy so awful that she starts to make Harper look palatable and one sister is Mary Holland, who also cowrote the script, and definitely wrote herself the only character who I’d like to meet in real life. 

Along the way, we also meet Aubrey Plaza, who I usually hate because she is just one-note sullen, but here is actually great as Harper’s high school ex-girlfriend who Harper outted and allowed to be bullied and wow Harper - you have been terrible for decades!! Also compared to Harper, Aubrey has beautiful (real) hair, doesn’t lie to her entire family, and has actual chemistry with Abby. I very much wanted Abby to end up with Aubrey and I am not alone! Harper somehow avoids Abby for most of the time they are both staying in the same (albeit huge) house and there is even a dumb subplot about Abby being framed for shoplifting while trying to buy a gift for the parents’ very important white elephant gift exchange during their very important Christmas Eve party and I wonder if any of these people really knows what a white elephant gift is or how to exist in society? Meanwhile, as Harper reverts to being more falsely  heteronormative at her parents house, I started to wonder if her wig was trying to serve a larger purpose in showing how fake this character is but: no it’s just a bad wig. Also this movie really does the impossible: it makes me care about and feel bad for Kristen Stewart! 

Although I did find it highly questionable that though they are the stars of a romantic comedy, neither Kristen Stewart or Mackenzie Davis is funny AT ALL. Like not even a little! Which makes the “comedic” plight of Stewart all the more upsetting! All comedy is left to the one good daughter (Mary Holland) and also all gay men in the movie. This is mainly Abby’s bff and national (Canadian) treasure, Dan Levy and also Drag Race faves Jinxx Monsoon and Ben De-La-Creme in this one gay bar scene which is honestly truly inconceivable and except for further cementing the fact that Abby and Aubrey really should get together. 

In the end, Alison Brie finds out Harper’s TERRIBLE SECRET THAT NO ONE IN 2020 COULD POSSIBLY FATHOM (that she’s a lesbian) and they have a fight in the middle of the white elephant party which reveals that all the family has been competing for years for each other’s love which is really really messed up and now I kind of hate everyone in this family. And also Harper is outed to her entire terrible family and also Ana Gasteyer (and also a room full of other randos). And she denies her lesbian truth!  I recently watched Uncle Frank which is essentially everything Hillbilly Elegy wanted to be but is Shakespeare compared to that mess, and a similar scene occurs but that character bravely faces the truth - and in 1970s SOUTH CAROLINA!! I don’t know what time or space this movie thinks it exists in but it is baffling. Still, Dan Levy gives an emotional monologue about how no one can decide when anyone else is ready to come out of the closet so: FAIR. And then Harper does come out and the entire family kind gives absolutely no reaction to this until Victor Garber says it’s ok?? ABSOLUTELY AND TRULY BIZARRELY PATRIARCHAL. And then Harper and Abby get back together in the parking lot of a Love’s convenience store which is as cheesy and clunky as any garbage holiday rom com so I guess this is definitely a new holiday “classic” which I’ll probably watch 100 more times and hate Harper and her terrible wig each time about as much as I hate Laura Linney’s terrible life choices in Love, Actually. AS CONFOUNDING AS HARPER’S WIG OR THE CHOICE TO GIVE HER ONE AT ALL!

VERDICT: DOESN’T WURQ

[ambssssssssss]

Deanoru + Fake Dating

Prompt fill requested by anon

~/~

It’s a terrible plan. Possibly the worst plan Karolina has ever come up with, even worse than the time she snuck a bottle of vodka from a party and almost fell off the roof because she was sure she could fly. Worse than agreeing to go on one date with Vaughn so she could explain to him that she was very much a lesbian. The only thing that could possibly make this any worse was Nico agreeing to go along with this plan. 

Which she did. She didn’t even hesitate. 

“Wait, really?” Karolina was staring at the shorter girl, dumbfounded. 

“Of course,” Nico shrugged one dark clad shoulder like it was no big deal for her to save Karolina’s skin by doing this massive favor. “You’re my best friend, Karrie. I’d do anything for you.” 

“I know that, I guess I just thought ‘pretending to date me so my mom will quit trying to set me up’ wasn’t one of those things.” Karolina felt her lips pull into a smile as Nico laughed. 

“Well, you couldn’t exactly say that you’re dating Molly, she’s too young, or Gert since you don’t have enough time with her. You and me together is at least plausible if not possible,” Nico explained this, as she did everything else, in a completely rational manner that somehow made this horrible idea sound good. “So what do we need to do?” 

“There’s a retreat, next weekend. Gib stuff mostly but only in the mornings and evenings. We’ll have the rest of the time to do whatever we want,” Karolina made a conscious effort to keep her hands as still as possible as she explained. “We leave Friday morning and we’ll be back Sunday afternoon. All expenses paid.” 

“A spa weekend,” Nico said thoughtfully. Karolina felt herself nodding. 

“For you anyway,” Karolina suddenly realized that she’d been standing up the entire time she’d been in Nico’s room and that that was unusual for her so she plopped down on the bed beside Nico, laying back so she wouldn’t have to look at Nico’s face while she spoke. “As a non-believer, you’ll only have to come to the morning services which is mostly just yoga and a prayer anyway.” 

“And what about the times out of service?” Nico asked as she laid back as well. 

“We can do whatever we want, swim, eat, sleep, as long as we stay on the grounds of the place we’re staying at.” Still keeping her eyes firmly on the ceiling, Karolina continued, “it’s okay if you don’t want to come.”

“Well, I’d be a crappy girlfriend if I didn’t,” Nico laughed. “Especially since you already told your mom that we’re together and that I’m going.” 

“Yeah, well, something could come up last minute. Maybe Amy will come down for the weekend.” 

“Like Amy would ever leave Stanford. She didn’t even come home for Christmas,” Nico rolled her eyes. “It’s alright, Karrie. I don’t mind going. Besides, we haven’t had a weekend for just the two of us in a while. It’ll be fun.” 

“Even the pretending to be my girlfriend part?” Karolina risked a glance at Nico and caught her expression. She looked forlorn and excited at the same time, like her heart was breaking at the same time that it healed. 

“Yes, even that. You’re a catch. Tall, gorgeous, fun, I’d be lucky to have a girl like you.” Uncharacteristically, Nico blushed. “So what would this include anyway? Hand holding? Hugging?” 

Karolina nodded, “A few kisses on the cheek, and we’ll be sharing a room. One bed.” 

“Oh no, I have to share with a personal space heater, how will I ever cope?” Nico laughed as Karolina nudged her. “That’s not anything we haven’t done before. We’ll just play it up a little. What could go wrong?” 

Karolina forced herself not to think of all the things that could go wrong, especially Karolina’s very much not imaginary desire to date Nico for real being exposed and losing Nico as a friend forever. 

~/~

Leslia Dean looked almost surprised when Nico turned up Friday morning to load in the Gibb van with Karolina, wearing a white top with black pants instead of all black like she normally does. 

“Nico, how lovely of you to join us,” Leslie said as she gave the girl a brief hug. 

“Thank you for letting me come along,” Nico said politely, looking around for Karolina. 

“She’s over with Vaughn helping some older congregation members load up,” Leslie gestured over Nico’s shoulder and she turned to see Karolina and Vaughn offering kind smiles at the people dressed in white as they spoke to one another with teasing grins. Jealousy rose in Nico’s stomach at the sight but she stamped it down. Now was not the time to be jealous of her fake girlfriend’s real friend. “I’m sure she’d be happy to have you join her.” 

“I’ll do that. We’ll be riding in here?” Nico gestured to the van they stood beside. 

“Karolina’s bags are already in, I’m sure you know what they look like.” 

Nico nodded and leaned in to place her own bag next to Karolina’s on the back row of the van before nodding at Leslie and walking over to Karolina and Vaughn. 

“Nico,” Karolina called as she approached, smiling brightly. “I’m so glad you came.” 

“I promised I would,” Nico said, relaxing easily into the hug Karolina moved over to give her. Karolina left her arm wrapped around Nico’s shoulders when they parted so Nico left her’s around Karolina’s waist. 

“Vaughn, you remember my girlfriend Nico?” 

“I believe she was just a friend the last time we met,” Vaughn looked at the two of them curiously. “It is nice to see you again.” 

“You too,” Nico offered him a smile that she hoped seemed genuine. “And don’t worry about it, this is still fairly new to all of us.” 

“Right,” Nico had the feeling that Vaughn didn’t exactly believe them. “Well, we’re just about done here. I’ll let the two of you finish up.” Vaughn left without another word but did offer them a friendly wave. 

“It’s not too late to back out,” Karolina said, her nose bumping against Nico’s forehead. 

“Sorry Karrie, but you’re stuck with me,” Nico unconsciously squeezed Karolina around the waist and, on impulse, leaned up to kiss her cheek. “Let’s get to the van so we can pretend like we’re asleep and won’t have to talk to your mom.” 

Karolina laughed and led Nico back to their van, her cheeks tinged pink. 

The drive to the resort passed fairly quickly, Nico leaning her head against Karolina’s shoulder while they shared a pair of headphones, and soon enough they were hauling their bags up to the room they’d be sharing until Sunday morning. 

“Oh wow,” Nico’s voice was muffled by the pillows where she had planted herself on the bed. “This bed makes the whole trip worth it.” 

“Whatever you say,” Karolina said even as she climbed into the bed with Nico and laid beside her. Without thought, Nico drifted closer to her just as she always did when they cuddled up together. Karolina suddenly found herself laying on her side with Nico tucked into her chest. “Wanna take a nape before dinner?” 

Nico was already so close to sleep that she almost didn’t feel the way Karolina kissed her hair and held her just a little bit tighter than normal. Almost. 

~/~

The Saturday at the resort passed in a peaceful haze. Karolina and Nico were constantly together, linked at the hands or sharing the same lounge seat out by the pool. Nico didn’t even try to bother hiding her adoring looks at Karolina, telling herself that she was simply playing it up for the constant audience she and Karolina had in the form of Vaughn and Leslie. 

It wasn’t until Vaughn made a comment later, when Karolina had exited the pool, bent down slightly to kiss Nico’s temple and squeeze her hand and then scampered off to get drinks for both of them, that Nico realized how much she hadn’t been playing it up. 

“I almost didn’t believe it when I saw you two yesterday,” Vaughn said from his seat beside the one Nico and Karolina had been sharing on and off all day. “I knew you two were friends of course, but I didn’t see you being together like this. I’m happy I was wrong.” 

“What do you mean?” Nico asked curiously. 

“Karolina, she’s so much lighter around you. Brighter too, it’s like you light up something deep in her soul. And of course I don’t know you as well as I know her, but you seem different too. Like you can breathe a little easier when she’s beside you,” Vaughn shrugged slightly, bashful. “You can’t fake a love like that.” 

He was right, of course. Nico couldn’t fake the way she felt about Karolina. She’d never been faking, but she wasn’t ever sure if Karolina would return those feelings. Just because they both liked girls didn’t mean they both like each other. And maybe it was reckless and stupid of her to do, maybe it would destory everything when they got back home Sunday afternoon but Nico couldn’t let this opportunity pass. When Karolina returned to hand Nico her drink, Nico caught her wrist and gently pulled until Karolina leaned down so their faces were on the same level. Doing her best to make the action look as natural as possible, Nico placed a hand on Karolina’s swimsuit covered hip and pressed their lips together. 

Karolina made a small noise of surprise against her lips but there was no hesitance as she kissed her back. Vaughn made cooing sounds from beside them. Nico felt like she could fly, like she could live in that moment forever and never grow tired of it. 

“I’ll have to get you drinks more often if that’s the thanks I get,” Karolina teased when they parted. Nico rolled her eyes but settled easily into the curve of Karolina’s side as they lounged together, hoping the redness of her cheeks wouldn’t look like anything but a sunburn. 

~/~

“So, should we talk about what happened at the pool?” Karolina asked later that night, after the evening service which Nico had skipped in favor of having an existential crisis in their room. 

“If you want to,” Nico threw the towel she’d been using to dry her hair back into the bathroom and crawled into the bed, staying firmly on her own side. “I’m sorry if I overstepped.” 

“No,” Karolina’s answer came quicker than either of them expected. She cleared her throat. “I mean, no, I didn’t mind. I liked it, probably a little too much.” Karolina was sitting cross-legged on the bed, her gazing flickering between the covers on the bed and Nico’s face, lingering on her lips. “I just don’t want you to think you have to do that, y’know? My mom believes it, so does everyone else who’s told me how cute we look together. You don’t have to kiss me for show.” 

“I didn’t kiss you for show,” Nico admitted softly, so softly that for a moment Karolina wasn’t sure she’d heard her correctly. “I kissed you because I’ve wanted to do that since we were fifteen and I wasn’t sure I’d ever get another chance after this retreat.” 

“You’ve wanted that since we were fifteen?” Karolina was smiling, slow and teasing like Nico had just revealed a precious treasure. “I could’ve been kissing you for three years?” 

“It probably started before that but that’s the first time I remember wanting to-wait. You too?” Nico sat up in bed, dark eyes wide at the implications of Karolina’s words. “Why didn’t you say anything?” 

“I wasn’t sure if you felt the same! And I didn’t want to jeopardize our friendship if you didn’t feel the same. You’re my favorite person in the world Nico. I’d rather have you in my life as a friend than as not in my life at all.” Karolina was smiling again as she leaned forward slightly. “Why didn’t you say anything?” 

“At first, because I didn’t want to believe it. Compulsive heterosexuality and all that bullshit,” both girls cringed at the memory of Nico’s short lived relationship with Alex. “And then because I was scared to lose you.”

“We’re quite the pair, aren’t we?” Karolina shook her head ruefully. “You didn’t say anything because you didn’t want to lose me, I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to lose you and the only thing we did lose is time that we could have spent together.” 

“Hindsight,” Nico shrugged. They shared a laugh and then fell silent again. “What do we do now that we’ve realized we’re both idiots?” 

“I say we make up for lost time,” Karolina leaned closer, slipping her fingers through Nico’s wet hair. “Afterall, we have three years worth of kisses to make up for.” 

Nico couldn’t think of a better idea and leaned in the rest of the way to kiss Karolina for the second time, slower, deeper than before. 

~/~

In the morning, they walked out of their room hand in hand, smiling contentedly, with plans to go out to dinner as soon as they returned home. 

It was time for a fake relationship to become real. 

(Finally)  

[explosionshark]

Hey! Big fan of your writing. :) For the writing prompts, could I request #3 for Chloe Price and Victoria Chase?

hi i’m so sorry it took me a month to do this! thank you for the prompt! i think this is my first chaseprice. originally this was going to be sad, but i didn’t feel like bumming anyone (including me) out tonight so instead it got, uhhh, vaguely smutty. 

3. “It’s three in the morning.”

“It’s August 17th. Grass is green. That sleeve is way more trailer trash than badass punk rocker.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, were we not just reciting a list of the obvious at each other?”

“Fuck, Victoria, just get in the car before I change my mind,” Chloe practically growls, leaning across the cab to throw the passenger side door open in invitation.

“Why would I do that?” Victoria asks, but doesn’t stop, forcing Chloe to keep creeping down the street in her truck with the door open, like some kind of stranger danger-ass creep.

“Because it’s three in the morning and you’re walking down the street alone at night by yourself, like an idiot,” Chloe barks. She’s trying to do the right thing, trying to be like… all conscientious and shit. It hardly feels worth it, when once again, Victoria Chase finds a way to make her feel like a totally useless idiot the moment she opens her mouth. “Why are you walking down the street alone at night by yourself like an idiot?”

“Why are you stalking me in your truck?” Victoria tosses back. “You know, you’re not doing much for all those awful stereotypes about predatory lesbians, Chloe. What’s next? Going to offer me some candy? What, are you a friend of my mom’s?”

“Your mom and I aren’t friends, she just eats me out when your dad’s not home,” Chloe says and the tension in her shoulders, the sharp sting of humiliation reddening the back of her neck eases when Victoria chokes out a laugh. “Now stop being a bitch and get in the fucking car. It’ll be faster. Put us both out of our misery.”

Victoria actually pauses this time, glancing around the street before eyeing Chloe’s truck with suspicion. 

“No one’s gonna see,” Chloe rolls her eyes and leans back into her seat. “Literally everyone smarter than you’s at home in bed right now. So, like, the whole town.”

With a huge sigh, Victoria hauls herself into the truck, slamming the door hard enough to rattle the whole cab. She smells like expensive perfume, peppermint schnapps and wood smoke. She kicks her towering heels off immediately, pulling her stockinged feet up onto the bench and tucking herself into the corner of the cab.

Stockings. She’s wearing stockings under that short skirt, riding up even shorter with the twist of her legs. Stockings, like some kind of sexy old-timey movie star fantasy run amok. Chloe wonders how Victoria Chase finds a way to be 18 and 81 at the same time. 

“Whose party?” Chloe asks once she drags her eyes away from Victoria’s legs, pretending she doesn’t see the smirk on Victoria’s face that means she absolutely noticed.

“The Vortex Club’s. Who else?” Victoria asks, running a hand through her hair. It’s shorter now than the last time Chloe saw her, a few months ago. It makes her look older, more mature. It leaves Chloe feeling even more like a stupid teenager, fumbling and uncouth, even though she’s technically older than Victoria.

“Yeah, stupid question,” Chloe mutters. It feels dangerous, just the two of them in Chloe’s truck like this. “Not like you hang out with anyone else.”

“It’s called having standards,” Victoria sniffs. “Maybe if you tried it sometime you wouldn’t be nearly twenty and still getting busted by the cops for smoking pot and blowing up GI Joes with firecrackers behind the Circle K.”

“You heard about that?” Chloe laughs. It’s a little embarrassing, and David had given her absolute hell over it once word got back to him from his little buddies in blue, but Christ, it had been funny. 

“About how somehow you’re an adult who has the life of a Toy Story villain and you’re, like, fine with it? Yeah, Chloe. I heard about it.”

“And you think my life would be, what, different? Better? If I just wanted it to be? If I had your standards?” Chloe asks, pulling into the darkest corner of the Blackwell student lot and killing the engine. The cab is dark but for the light streaming in through the back window from streetlamp a few rows over. The night is silent without the rattle of the truck’s old engine. Chloe slithers across the seat like she’s been wanting to do since Victoria got into the truck. Closer, she can read the expression Victoria’s face a bit better – a little expectant, a little disbelieving, like she always seems to be when they’re together like this.

Like she’s halfway between scared and excited and she likes it best right there, between the two.

“I think our lives are what we make them,” Victoria says, voice even and calm, despite the quickening of her breath. Her makeup’s gently faded from the night, except for the lipstick Chloe saw her touching up on the street before she pulled up alongside her. It’s bright red, applied just a little too thick, Victoria a little too drunk to make it perfect. “I think if you want to be successful and you work hard for it, it will happen.”

Chloe wants to lean in and mess it up. She wants to taste it herself, scrape it off Victoria’s bottom lip with her teeth, smear it messily down her chin, her cheek. She wants that lipstick staining the collar of her shirt tomorrow when she wakes up.

But she waits.

“So people who don’t succeed, it’s just their fault for not wanting it enough, huh? For not working hard enough,” Chloe says and it makes her mad, kind of. But it doesn’t make her want Victoria less. Victoria says nothing, just keeps watching Chloe from across the bench, leg still tucked up under her. “Pretty rich girl like you, you would think that. Mommy and Daddy sending you to a fancy private art school. You would think that.”

“I worked hard to be here,” Victoria says.

“Yeah,” Chloe nods. “You and your standards.”

She leans forward, one hand behind Victoria’s head flat on the glass of the window, the other grasping the inside of a thigh, just under her skirt, just over where the stockings end. She applies the gentlest pressure, feels Victoria turn for her, legs falling open for her, hears the breath catch in Victoria’s throat.

Chloe knows an invitation when she sees one. She slides her hand higher.

You wouldn’t know how she was being touched from that perfectly cool look on Victoria’s face. Smug, almost bored. Chloe kind of admires her for it, even though she wants nothing more than to ruin that poise. It’s the challenge, the vaguely adversarial nature of the sex that keeps these encounters, brief and few that though they’ve been, interesting. 

It doesn’t take long, really. Chloe’s good enough at this by now and Victoria’s drunk enough to not care that she’s being obvious. Within minutes she’s writhing against the door, shaking and swollen, dripping down Chloe’s wrist and begging to come.

So, of course Chloe pulls away.

Victoria keens, scrabbling desperately at Chloe’s retreating arm, panting and lipstick-smudged and nearly delirious. “Fuck. Fuck. Why’d you stop?”

“Well, I figured you wouldn’t want any handouts, right?” Chloe drawls, and reaches over her shoulder for a fistful of her tanktop. She yanks the shirt up and over her head, liking the sound her necklace makes when it falls against her bare skin. And yeah, technically, this is a tremendously bad idea because they’re in the Blackwell parking lot and there’s security wandering around out there somewhere but, well. Fuck it. Life’s a risk.

“Are you serious right now?” Victoria glares, looking very regal and pissed off for a girl with her skirt hiked up over her hips. All the incandescent rage in the world couldn’t disguise the way her eyes keep drifting down to Chloe’s exposed breasts, though, the way she has to fight to meet Chloe’s eyes when she speaks.

“Well, it wouldn’t have been very fair of me not to give you a chance to earn it,” Chloe shrugs. “But, y’know, most people don’t know this about me but I’ve actually got a pretty fuckin generous spirit and shit. So, like, if you were to ask me nicely, I’m sure I could…”

“Oh fuck this,” Victoria snarls and for a moment Chloe thinks she must have finally pushed too far, that Victoria’s going to fumble her way out of the cab and stalk back to her room.

But instead she launches herself across the cab, shoving Chloe up against the other door so hard and clumsy and fast her elbow bounces hard enough off the steering wheel to make her whole arm go numb. But before she has a chance to complain about that Victoria’s in her lap, grinding against Chloe’s bare stomach while her fingers tug insistently at the metal bars through Chloe’s nipples.

She’s rough and pissed off and neither of them is going to last like this but, well. Victoria’s kind of a perfectionist, control-freak weirdo, right? Chances are she’ll want a few more rounds, to make it perfect.

Chloe’s never been one to back down from a challenge.

dialogue prompts

[marvels-writings]

As Long As You Need (5)

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Request:  hi! Would you be willing to write a Carol x R imagine? Carol and R are close friends even though R is somewhat closed off. Carol really wants to date R and is curious why R doesn't date. She comes to R's house which she hasn't ever been to in order to talk to R for whatever reason and finds out that R has a young child.

A/N: So I was gonna finish off Phoenix and the Stars today too but I literally can’t, like i don’t have the emotional stability to finish two of my favorite series in one day, I’m finishing it later. 

Most people say relationships are stressful as hell, raising a kid is even worse. Somehow, Carol made both of them the easiest thing. You’d been together for about 8 months now, Brooke loved her and almost considered her as another aunt at this point, it melted your heart to see them get along this well. 

Carol loved you, she was almost scared to tell you, terrified you won’t feel the same, but she was coming over today to watch a few movies with Brooke until her grandparents picked her up, but your TV glitched out and refused to work, you suggested going out but Carol refused. 

So here you were now, playing UNO with the people you loved the most, Carol +4ed Brooke and she hated it, and instantly threw the nearest pillow at Carol, Carol feigned hurt and threw a pillow back, which accidentally hit you. Brooke backed up against Carol, scared. 

“How dare you?” You joked, picking up the pillow and hitting both of them at once, they grinned and started hitting you with pillows, teaming up on you while doing so. 

“However, will I live?!” You exclaimed, laughing before Brooke shoved a pillow in your face, the pillow didn’t taste that great. 

Carol and Brooke’s laughter warmed your heart, even if they were practically burying you with pillows, a knock finally made them stop, Brooke ran to the door instantly and opened it to find her grandparents on the other side. 

“This place is a mess.” M/n remarked, picking Brooke up and stepping over the spilled UNO cards and pillows while you smiled politely at her, getting off the couch, Carol following you sheepishly. 

“We were playing UNO.” You confessed, shrugging and going to Brooke’s room to get her things, a small smile on your face while you heard Carol talking to your parents and Brooke. 

“So are you two serious?” F/n asked, Carol’s eyes widened, the two of you had talked about it, Carol planned to stay with you as long as she could but didn’t know how long you wanted her to stay. 

“I think so, right babe?” Carol asked, turning to see you with a lovesick smile on your face while you carried Brooke’s bag to her. 

“You need to marry her already,” M/n said, taking the bag from you as you and Carol’s faces turned into tomatoes from blushing. 

“Great to see you mom.” You said awkwardly, your dad shrugged but before he could make another comment you practically pushed them out the door, leaning against it in exhaustion. 

“Sorry about that, they can be pushy sometimes.” You apologized, walking over and cleaning up the mess of UNO cards and pillows. 

“You still didn’t answer my question.” Carol muttered, moving to help you pick up the cards and making a small pile of cards in her hand. 

“You were right,” You said uncertainly and threw a pillow at the couch, it landed perfectly. “I think we are serious about this.”

The two of you cleaned up in a comfortable, yet still tense silence. You could see the tension in Carol’s body but you also didn’t know where this was heading. Carol had talked about moving in and maybe even marriage in the abstract, moving in seemed closer than ever but you had a lot in your house already, maybe Carol could help you out with that.

“I ordered pizza a while back so that should be coming soon” Carol said, plopping down on the couch after cleaning everything up. You put the cards on the dining table and joined her

“With-”

“With the smokey pepperoni and the olives and the thick crust.” Carol cut you off, smirking at you before putting something on the TV, satisfied with how well she knew you. 

You watched Sherlock for some time, snuggled into Carol’s shoulder with her warm arm draped across the back of the couch until the pizza arrived. Carol got up and paid for it without you even having to get up, you smiled and got up, the smell of your favorite pizza filling your senses. 

“Oh my god I love you.” You said, opening the pizza box as Carol took out the plates and a few cans of beer to drink, a large thud of the beer can hitting the floor brought you back to what you’d just said. 

“Do, you do mean, you mean that?” Carol stuttered, picking up the dropped can and putting it next to your hand to find you perfectly calm. 

“Of course I do.” You answered easily, opening both of the cans for her and handing one to her, a small smile on your face, she didn’t need to say it back. 

Carol knew you loved her without you having to say it, she saw it in the way you cared for her even though you had too much on your mind, she saw it in how you waited up late for her when she came back from stressful missions, she saw it in the way you put her first, before yourself and before your niece. 

“I love you too.” Carol said softly, meaning it, you smiled, knowing she didn’t have to say it. 

You saw how she loved you in the way she came back faster from missions to come back to you, you saw it in the way she flustered around you and the way she put most effort into getting along with the people you cared most about, you saw it in the way she helped you even though there were millions out there who needed her help. 

“Well we’re sappy.” You joked, heading over to the couch with your pizza and a can of your favorite beer, lounging against the cushions while you waited for Carol to join you, and she did as soon as she could. 

Throughout dinner, you saw her constantly trying to avoid her phone, when you asked her about it she put it away instantly, but you saw a flash of a text from Fury, he needed her on a mission but she was avoiding it. 

For you.

“Fury needs you.” You sighed, getting up and putting the dishes in the dishwasher and throwing the beer cans away. Carol’s eyes filled with guilt, she didn’t want to leave you. 

“It’s a week-long mission, he wants me to leave in two days.” She sighed, pausing the show and walking over to you, guilt filling her features as she flicked hair out of her face. 

��If he needs you, you should go.” You said, turning around to face her, trying to pretend her leaving had no consequence for you. 

“But I need you.” Carol confessed, looking down at her hands, you smiled softly and walked over to her, taking her face in your hands, heart breaking when you saw tears building up in her hazel eyes. 

“It’s okay,” You comforted, stroking her cheeks as tears fell, “Just come home to me Stargirl.”

Tears fell faster as she broke at the nickname, you said it so softly and she needed you, badly. You made her feel normal and loved, more than anyone could ever give her. You gave her everything you had and you were always ready to give her more, you loved her so much and she couldn’t give you the same. 

“What did I do wrong?” You asked, panicked when you saw Carol break even further, you wanted to help her as much as you could, this was the last thing you wanted. 

“Nothing,” Carol muttered, reaching one hand up to hold your hand to her face when she felt you start to pull away. 

“It’s just, you give me so much more than I can give you, you deserve more than me.” Carol confessed, her heart breaking more at the thought of you not being in her life anymore. 

“C’mere.” You said softly, using the same tone of voice you did whenever you were comforting Brooke, Carol recognized it instantly. 

You let go of her face and opened up your arms, Carol hesitated but hugged you almost instantly, you squirmed slightly in her tight grip but hugged her back, your shirt getting wet from the tears on your shirt. 

“I love you okay? And you’re more than I deserve, you’re everything I want and so much more.” You said softly. 

Carol couldn’t stop herself from hugging you tighter, she needed you more than anything, it broke her heart to leave. You gasped slightly, her grip becoming a bit too tight, you didn’t say anything, instead tapping her shoulder slightly to loosen up. 

She almost pulled away in shock that she had hurt you, but you pulled her back, hand coming up to cradle her head softly, hands running through her scalp to calm her. You stood like this for a few minutes until Carol had calmed down, she pulled away, her eyes red. 

“Feeling better?” You asked, hands falling to hold hers, you stroked her knuckles softly and felt the callouses on her hands you’d felt a thousand times before. 

“Definitely,” She sniffled, “Wanna continue watching Sherlock?” Carol asked, changing the topic. 

You smiled and nodded, letting her pull you to the TV and switch it on, but you stopped her from playing it, needing to ask her something. Carol looked at you, brow furrowed and nose crinkled in confusion. 

“How do you feel about moving in with me?” You asked, hand on top of hers as she held the remote, you looked right into her eyes, waiting for any sort of reaction. Thankfully, you got an amazing reaction.

“I’d love that.” Carol answered, grinning before leaning in to kiss you, remote long forgotten as she let herself get lost in the feeling of kissing you. 

She wanted this kind of feeling for the rest of her life, the feeling of being happy, loved, the feeling of being with you. Carol couldn’t wait to spend her life coming home to you, in a sense, she already was .

A/N: We all needed this in our lives, right? I'm not crying you’re crying

| Part 6 |

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[essaysfromthedeep]

Wash, rinse, repeat.

A little bit about being Southern, gay, and estranged.

CW: Suicide mention

Where I am now is exactly why I didn’t want to come out in the first place. I was terrified as a teenager that I would have to leave my family behind to be happy. It turned out to be true.

I figured out when I was 17 that I was attracted to girls. I had a boyfriend. It wasn’t going well. It wasn’t his fault, of course. I tried and tried to be okay with dating him, but I knew beyond the shadow of a doubt three months in that I didn’t feel the same way about him. I just didn’t know why for another few months. Or I didn’t want to admit why. I’m not sure the distinction matters at this point.

I remember which class I was sitting in the first time I wrote down “I think I like girls.” It was almost lunch time, I had no friends in there and no one was paying any attention to me. I put it in a journal I later burned. It was terrifying and imprinted itself on my memory. It was also a truth I couldn’t outrun any more.

I wasn’t expecting that coming out would be so similar to the stages of grief. I remember being so angry. I tried to kill myself. An expression of anger, fear, and disappointment.

I tried to kill myself on Valentine’s day because my boyfriend so desperately wanted to spend time with me, but I couldn’t stand the thought of it. I knew exactly where I’d rather be and why. I couldn’t take it any more.

I took, what I thought to be at the time, a lot of pills, and drank, what I thought to be at the time, a lot of alcohol. And laid down to go to sleep. I started feeling very ill and couldn’t fall asleep. I remember praying. “Okay God, if I survive this, it means you want me to be gay. And if I don’t well, I guess I’ll find out if you’re going to send me to hell for it.”

I threw up all night. The next day I felt like death warmed over, but I was alive. Now came the hard part, figuring out how to be gay. It took me 6 more years to come out in any kind of public way. I told my closest friends in high school, but that didn’t go so well. I came out as bisexual. Which, I am not. But I couldn’t be a full on lesbian yet.I wasn’t ready to give up.

I was still desperately hoping some boy would come along and fix me. Someone, anyone! That they would love me enough somehow and, even though I would never feel the same way about them, that it would be enough. It didn’t work out.

My first few years of being out to myself were full of this kind of bargaining. “I’ll just be alone forever and that will be fine. I don’t need a relationship.” I had resolved to stay in the small, rural town I had grown up in and just be the person my family wanted me to be. But the idea of being forced to be alone became unbearable. I had finally let go of some of my self hatred and honestly I wanted so badly to hit on women. Being a lesbian sounded amazing, if I could just figure out how to do it!

In college it still took awhile for me to come out, again.

I was technically bisexual at that point, so the assumption was this was a phase. I was so tired of the implication that I’d just eventually like a dude! I knew I wouldn’t. I kept pretending. Latching on to dudes left and right because I assumed (rightly) that there was more to lose when I let everyone know there would be no more men for me.

I tried to date exactly one guy in college. Attempting to be the person he wanted me to be was like cutting off parts of myself. I kept trying to make myself into something that I wasn’t to make men happy, when I was already pretty sure that I wasn’t at all interested in men or making them happy. I ‘broke up’ with him after four days.

I wish I could say that was the end of my misadventures with men, but it wasn’t. It was the last time I tried to date one. Everything else was just drunken mistakes in an attempt to try to make myself into a straight girl.

I finally gave it all up when I was 23. I had been fighting and fighting and fighting for years. I slept with one woman and it’s honestly laughable to me at this point that I ever thought I was straight.

That’s the only reason I decided to come out to my family at all.

After stumbling upon the (finally sober) realization, that I was decidedly uninterested in men, I realized that I would need to tell my family.

I didn’t want to, but I’m a terrible liar. And honestly, I was so tired of being afraid of them. To be clear though, when I came out I was still terrified of them. My timing could have probably been better, but that’s not how life is.

I decided to come out the weekend I graduated from college. I was sure, certain, in fact, that it would be alright. We would be riding the high from my accomplishment (2 degrees!) and they would love me regardless. I would tell them and then we would have a nice Christmas.

I have not been to a Christmas with my family since then.

I graduated right about the same time as all that Duck Dynasty nonsense where that guy said really homophobic stuff in GQ back in 2013. Well, my sister spent the entire weekend talking about it. Agreeing with him. Being angry because the show got dropped. “Gay people need to learn their place.” I could still direct you to the booth we were sitting at in Steak’n’Shake when she said that. There are some things that just stick with you. All gay people were going to hell anyway, why should it matter that he said it! And how dare A&E cancel them!

I left after that. Saying I was tired and didn’t want to go back to the mall. I had some friends to hang out with. Whatever excuses I could come up with. Really I went to my apartment and talked with my girlfriend for hours and hours about what I should do. I didn’t feel safe going home with them at that point. My family isn’t known for solving these kind of disagreements peacefully. And my family disagreed with my existence. What’s a girl to do? I ran away with my girlfriend for Christmas.

And this is where the Southern part of my story starts rearing its ugly head. My girlfriends parents were not sure about hosting me. I should be at home with my family. I didn’t know how to tell them, I didn’t feel safe with my family.

There’s this stigma about not being in touch with your family. Like it’s some kind of easy choice to cut them off. I already knew what my family thought of me, why am I required to open myself up to further abuse? Why am I required to submit myself to them for in-person derangement.

After the fact, when we were discussing it my mother said to me “Were you scared I was going to shoot you?” And yes. I was. That’s the thing. I know how my mother reacts. I react in similar fashions sometimes. A blind rage. You can’t see anything but your anger. I felt I was taking my life in my hands if I went home and came out. And who would know if they killed me and buried me in the back yard? Who would care? There are lots of pig farms in Arkansas. There are lots of places to hide a body.

Perhaps this is horrifying for me to say, but it was a natural conclusion for me. There are many people where I’m from who would have understood why my family did it. A jury of their peers wouldn’t convict them.

After that we tried for a few years, but the problem is I wanted it all.

I can read my parents like a book. They were so uncomfortable in my presence.

Growing up my father only referred to gay men as faggots. I had only ever heard gay used as a slur until I was in high school at least. It definitely wasn’t truly de-stigmatized for me until I was in college.

And about three years after I came out to my parents, I was tired of being tolerated. I didn’t want them to think I was disgusting. I wanted them to be able to look at me. I wanted them to be able to say the word gay and it not be a slur. And so I confronted them about it.

And my mom told me that she can only accept my relationships that are ‘biblical.’ She will never accept my marriage. And so I decided that I wasn’t going to live my life in pieces, and I told her to contact me when she could accept me for everything that I am, and that includes being a lesbian.

And now I don’t know what to do.

My family always made it very clear that if you didn’t talk to them in life, you shouldn’t show up at their funerals. I don’t know whether to grieve now, later, or both. I assume both makes the most sense.

This is excruciating, but it’s still better than sitting across the table from my mother and seeing the disgust in her eyes. The fear. Knowing that she thinks there’s something wrong with me.

My mother’s love is conditional. She loves in the hope that it will make me change. That I will repent and be born again, again. That it can save me. That she can make me straight.

After being the ‘sinner’ that’s been ‘loved’ for so many years, I have to say it feels less like love and more like coercion.

I feel like I’ve chosen the lesser of two evils. Trying to maintain contact with my family is destabilizing. So I’ll live with the guilt and the shame of not talking to the people who conceived me. I’m not sure what I continue to owe them though.

My mother left me a voicemail last week. She claims she doesn’t know what she’s done to “upset me.” She thinks I’m just punishing her because I’m mad. I’m not mad. I’m painfully aware of how little there is left of me for her to love. I won’t change. Why do I have to expose myself to her obvious disdain? What obligations do I owe her?

She brought me into this world, but the truth is she doesn’t want me. She wants whatever version she keeps of me in her head.

It’s much harder to love people as they are. And what I am now is so far removed from what she wants, I just don’t see why I have to keep trying. She isn’t going to meet me halfway, and I have to give up everything I am.

There’s no voice I can turn my mother to that teachers her to love me. The people my mother respects hate me. They teach I’m the reason why Jesus will soon return and wipe people like me from the face of the Earth and put us in hell where we belong.

I’ve heard “Blood is thicker than water” so often that I can’t help but feel like the asshole in this situation. Oh, what I’m doing to my poor mother! Have we considered what she’s done to me?

I’ve always been aware of how tenuous my relationship with my parents was. I knew there were parts of me they could never love. I’ve been keeping secrets since I was a child, hoping that I could be good enough one day that they’d like every piece of me. I’d settle for like, I think.

I grieve for my childhood. I wonder, often, what it’s like for kids who’s parents love them unconditionally. It’s difficult knowing that is something I will never experience.

I can’t blame my mother for it. I don’t think it was something she was ever capable of. It’s about as useful as being mad at the rain. There’s nothing I can do to change it.

I always want these kinds of things to have a lesson. I would like to wrap it up nice and tidy, but this is all messy ends and unfinished work.

The anger has run out of me and all that was left to do was this. Hollow myself out so the pain and sadness can’t grow and fester until they try to kill me again. You face them, you name them, you find a way to get up the next morning. You do things that make you happy. You wait for them to make you happy again. Wash, rinse, repeat.

[dreamonminecraft]

oh yes, tell me more about this beautiful lesbian slowburn. I’m a sucker for a good love story

Okay so to start off, My sexuality fluctuates greatly throughout this story, but as of now I identify as a Bisexual lithsexual lesbian, which means that I am attracted to lots of people but lose attraction when the feelings are reciprocated, and I'll only date girls.

The story starts off August of 2018. I was starting 6th grade (middle school) and didn't really have any friends aside from a few people that I had last talked to in 3rd grade.

It's important to know that I'm a GT kid and so I almost always have the same group of about 20 kids. This started when I changed to an all GT class for 4th grade.

While it's nice to have a comfortable learning environment, it also means that there's no escape from any drama, and you get to pick friends from the very small pool of kids that you'll spend the rest of your education with.

This is a pretty long story as well and I'm not sure I'll be able to accurately retell many of the things because dates get mixed up and stuff. Anyway, I'm gonna try my best to explain but these are really only the things from my point of view and I don't remember a lot of the things. (This is also gonna be written like a fanfic because that's all I know how to write, I apologise)

So start of sixth grade, I don't really have any friends, I'm kind of this awkward nerd, there's 2 people in my class (we switch classes like normal middle school, but I'm with the GT kids for most of the day so that's what I'll refer to them as) that I've known for years, a few I've met before, but mostly new people.

I sit by some old friends from volleyball at lunch for the first few days but begin to feel unwelcome. One day I decide to sit by these two people that I know are in GT but haven't talked to before. I don't say anything, but I sit and they don't mind.

The next day we get new seats in English. I'm behind a boy named Owen, Inara, who is one of the girls I sat with at lunch, is to my right, and in front of her is a girl named Emilyse.

Inara and I hit it off immediately.

It's kind of crazy because we're both crazy anxious introverts, but we gel nicely. I'm a boyband-obsessed 11 year old and she's a mature and mysterious 11 year old.

She's a lefty. I'm a righty. The way we've been placed makes us bump arms everytime we try to write anything.

We have every class together. Somehow, we sit next to each other in every class as well, even in the ones where we didn't pick our seating chart.

It's September. I cry over boybands. She watches curiously.

For the next couple of months we casually talk. She spends every lunch period in the library. We text occasionally.

I have another friend who takes priority. His name is Logan. We got introduced by his friend Lennox when she asked for my phone number to give to him.

Lennox and I don't talk. Logan and I text nonstop for months. We discuss possibly dating in the future. I identify as bisexual and biromantic at this point.

I've been in this position before. Having mainly guy friends growing up puts me in a lot of awkward friendship/relationship situations. They always end the same.

I have an issue with dating in middle school. You're not dating if you don't go on dates, hold hands, kiss, or cuddle. But you can feel like you are.

In December Logan starts being mean. We start a game where we step on each other's shoes at lunch or in the hallway. It's fun.

Eventually, he recruits his friends to do it to me, too. It's a joke a first, but eventually there are 10 middle school boys chasing me and trying to hurt me.

I get kicked in the hallway and fall. Someone steps on my arm and people laugh. Logan watches. I tell Inara and she steps on his shoe for me.

Logan and I stop talking. Inara and I hang out more. By early January, Inara has stopped going to the library at lunch. We hang out with Emilyse in the field instead.

I text Logan one day in mid January and ask why we fell out. He says that I told someone that I was going to punch him in the face.

The person he said I told, only talked to me at the bus stop, and he didn't ride my bus. I had never said it in the first place, but his logic made it even more frustrating.

I tell him I got scared because I had a crush on him and didn't want to make things weird. It was a lie.

In February I came out to someone for the first time. They asked if I was bi and I said yes.

By March I had accepted that coming out didn't really make a difference. Inara and I hung out at school but not really anywhere else.

My birthday's in April. I invite her, Emilyse, and Rebekah. We paint rocks and draw on a table cloth. Emilyse feels distant.

Emilyse is homophobic. We find out in English one day. I don't remember how. Inara and I look at each other. We know we're both queer but haven't come out to each other.

I ask Emilyse if she would hate someone in GT for coming out. She says yes. Inara and I stop talking to her.

By May I've become obsessed with Marvel. Inara's interested in it and I decide to be, too. We talk about the movies. It gets awkward. She's not as interested when I get in on it.

By June we're best friends. We hang out fairly regularly, have all our classes together, and text all the time. Logan is forgotten.

School lets out at the start of June. We keep texting regularly. We make plans to see the new spiderman movie in early July with one of our other friends.

I have a complicated relationship with said friend. They're non-binary, although I didn't know it yet, and I've known them since Kindergarten. Inara met them in an advisory this year. I get jealous easily.

The day of the movie I shop at Kohl's. I buy the two of us matching shirts. We meet at the movie theater and it's awkward. I pay for popcorn and sneak in snacks that we share. Our friend's dad is there, but Inara and I don't have parents present.

We sit next to each other during the movie. At a certain scene, I start to get anxious. My stomach hurts and I can't breathe, I start to get sweaty.

I get up and rush out of the theater. I get to the women's bathroom and sit down on the floor of the very last stall. I'm panicing, dry heaving into the toilet, and trying not to cry. I try to text my mom that I'm having a panic attack but don't have reception.

I go back into the theater room after a few minutes. I'm still anxious, but better. Our friend is highly concerned, Inara just glances at me worriedly.

It's my first panic attack, and it sucked.

We leave awkwardly after it ends, trying to avoid the obvious elephant in the room. My mom is concerned when she picks me up. We don't talk about it. My dad and brother are watching it illegally when I get home.

We don't see each other until August of 2019, but continue to text through the rest of the summer.

When 7th grade starts, I'm still into Marvel. I've seen all the movies at this point, but there haven't been any new ones (even now) since FFH. Inara's interested, but not fully.

In late August/Early September we take BuzzFeed quizzes for fun and text each other the results. I take one about soulmates. I get her initials. I send her the link. She gets mine.

We take more and they all point to us being soulmates. We propose by sending pictures of rings over text. The wedding date is set for September 28th, 2019.

The time comes. It's Saturday and my brother has a double football game. We've planned to pick her up and take her there. It's a Christian league, so the games are at a church.

We go to the garden. There's a small white bench in some rocks, surrounded by flowers. We joke that we've had our ceremony. We wander around for a while longer.

My dad suggests that we go to the taco bell across the parking lot. We do. When we're done, we walk back to my house. Its not far, but we're alone. I carry her halfway back.

When we get to my house we pick things from my garden. We're barefoot and I'm wearing overalls. I joke that we're gonna get a farm one day when we're older.

She picks things while I stand back and watch. The sun hits her dyed-red hair just right. I vividly remember smiling at thinking "holy fuck she's pretty" you would think I'd put together my crush by then.

October rolls around and she cancels plans to go trick-or-treating with me. I'm upset but understand.

We "work" on a school project at her house. We don't actually get anything done before cuddling up on her bed and falling asleep to black panther.

In November, it's Emilyse's birthday party. We've gotten distant but still talk occasionally. Inara and I both go to the party.

We're watching Spiderman Far From Home because that's what Emilyse wanted. I've seen in twice, Ianra has too.

We're given candy and popcorn and then curl up on the couch. Inara and I sit next to each other.

(I forgot to mention this but at some point she stayed the night at my house. She slept on the floor in her swimming suit even though I asked if she wanted to sleep on the bed. Swimming was fun though. We also go to an arcade. We mini-golf and play laser tag. We also danced in the rain together at some point that day.)

Once we're no more than 15 minutes into the movie, I'm cuddled into her chest. It's important to mention that at this point I'm 5'6 and she's no more than 5'0.

We cuddle the entire movie. We share candy and pretend no one else is there. It feels great.

We don't talk about that night for months. Nobody brings it up. I come out to Rebekah around this time, saying no more than that I like girls. I still haven't told Inara.

By December, I've brought her to church a few times. I don't enjoy going to church, but my parents always encouraged it.

(I'd like to say at this point as well that I have been raised Christian and identify with the faith despite the fact that I despise Church and disagree with many of the common teachings. If I ever had to choose for some reason, my sexuality matters more to me than my religion. Regardless, I respect your beliefs if they differ from mine :) )

Inara's birthday is in mid December. Her party consists of us making gay jokes with our enby friend despite not being technically out to each other.

My church youth group plans ice skating. I invite her and she accepts. I'm worried about it. It's essentially a date. Neither of our parents will be there.

We carpool with the youth leaders, who are actually pretty cute for a hetero couple. Inara and I share awkward glances the whole time.

When we get there I learn that Inara took ice skating lessons as a child. She's much more confident than I am, but pretends she doesn't know what she's doing. I skate about once or twice a season, but also rollerblade.

There's a wet, sloped, melty part of the rink. I get nervous and grab her hand. She holds it until we're out of the melted ice.

Every lap around I grab her hand at that point. Eventually, we just keep holding hands for an entire lap.

By the end of the night, we've both fallen a few times but held hands the whole time. We drop her off and I say goodnight.

That night, I rant about the adventure to one of my (ex)friends, who excitedly listens to my talk about holding hands with a girl.

There's a GT Christmas party at Hannah's. Inara and I carpool there. It's an all together boring party with the exception of a few interesting truth-or-dare questions.

(side note, remember Owen? Well he's one of Inara and I's best friends and we were actually close enough that the three of us were basically cuddling on the couch during part of the party. Also the whole class knows about Inara and I's wedding and calls us wives.)

Paislie asks me if I wanted to "marry" Inara before we got "married". I mumble an answer that nobody hears. I don't repeat it. When it's time to leave, Inara and I have our legs intertwined on the couch. We don't mention that, either. We drop her off and I say goodnight.

January is good. There's a night, the 4th I believe, that we really connect. We officially come out to each other for the first time on that night, and it gets really real, really fast.

She says she's pan, I say I'm bi but confused.

In mid January she texts me that she's crying because one of her favorite YouTubers finally hit a million. She cries for hours but never tells me who. I pay it no mind.

A few days later, she mentions a YouTube channel called Unus Annus and tells me that it's super interesting. I text back but don't look it up.

A few more days pass and I'm randomly on the trending page for YouTube, which I never do. I see a video trending called "Mark and Ethan go casket shopping". The thumbnail is interesting enough that I check what the channel is. I notice it's the one Inara told me about.

I watch the video and subscribe within 5 minutes. I text Inara quotes from that video, Ethan Finally Becomes a Man, and the Lie Detector test videos, until she responds and is surprised that I found the channel.

I obsess quickly and depend on her to know the new video at 1pm everyday. She gets annoyed and we drift apart slowly.

In February things get rocky. We fight often. If I win a small argument she doesn't talk to me for hours. She gets pissed at refuses to tell me what the Unus Annus video is called if I ask too many times.

At some point I get fed up and confront her. I don't remember what about, but we stop talking all together.

Friends pick sides. I'm left alone. We don't talk for a month. She tells me that she pushed me away because she thought I'd react badly to her telling me she loves me.

I confess my crush. She tells me she feels the same.

We finally make up at about 8:30 on a Sunday night in March. It's not fixed but we plan to talk. And 9:00, the school district announces that it's shutting down until least after spring break.

We stopped trying to communicate, but eventually, slowly we started talking again. We text a few times a day now, mostly about UA and anxiety, the best combo.

We haven't seen each other since. We're probably going back to school in person in about a month, but I'm not sure. Nobody is.

I've called her my girlfriend on here before, simply because I don't know what we are. I joked the other day about how the youth leaders would react if I said I was texting my girlfriend.

Here's how that went:

So we're just jokingly married for now! It's a confusing pile of garbage but we both came out as lesbians the other day so that's a new development.

I don't know if any of that makes sense but I'll answer any questions anybody has :)

[weaselsmuses-aa]

hey human hcs again because fuck it its revamp time

Ft: My muses && Some others that i just happen to have hcs for.

My muses + oc’s in collab w friends.

Topaz!!

Age: 16

Grade: Sophomore

Born in South Korea

Became something of a musical sensation back home, and is famous for her music mixing.

Became independent at 15, moved to the states a year later with the desire to see what America was like, hollywood in particular.

Lives in an apartment with Saphir, her senior classmate and good friend.

Pastel vibes

Sassy vibes (Much more sassy than gem topaz :o)

MomTM friend. She mediates and keeps the peace. Also will give great life advice.

Judges silently, but says nothing if she has nothing nice to say. (But she’ll think it.)

Currently has a job as a DJ at a local skating rink where her friends hang out. Gets them free food and games..

Hoping to make it big in the US so she can stay after she graduates.

Parents living overseas and helping pay for her life and schooling in the states.

She spends summers in Korea where she visits her family and tours, records music.

Part of the art club and spends a lot of time in the music rooms. She isn’t in Choir, Band or Orchestra, but is in music theory and guitar. Has a LOT of friends in all those programs.

Swiss (birth name: Sage)

Age: 16-17

Grade: Sophomore.

Swiss was born in Switzerland, but has also lived in South Korea for 5 years (where she met Topaz), London for 2, and now the US where she started high school.

Lives with her Father who is from Switzerland, her mom who was born in the UK, and her baby sister Kyanite

Class goofball and classic slacker but somehow still passes and knows the material.

‘ Whoops, I forgot my homework again’ type

Dye’d her hair blue at 14, pierced both her nose, lips, and several places in her ear. 

Depressed and tired. Brings rockstar energy’s to class a lot.

Punk Rock vibes, but wears her uniform rather well. Her messenger bag is tricked out with a lot of music festival patches and pins though.

Her and Topaz both are those kids that have earbuds and beats headphones on all the time. She gets in trouble for listening to rock in class. Or talking.

Has a band, and is the main drummer and back up vocalist.  The band was her idea, but she gives her friends a lot of freedom. Since drumming is her passion she doesn’t mind not being the lead vocalist.

Crushing on / Dating the richest girl in the school (Aquamarine ‘Marie’)

Doesn’t have a job, but thinking about getting a part time one at the record shop near her house.

Oversleeps A LOT. IS late to class a lot. Usually her detentions are from tardiness (or saying some smart ass comment to be funny and getting in trouble for it)

Very protective of her little sister, and gets along well with her in private, despite pretending that she irritates her.

No after school activities for her thanks. That stuffs lame. (Though she does wander in and hang out with the game club sometimes)

Kyanite (Ky)

Age: 14-15

Grade: 8th

One of the pretty MeanTM girls in middle school. Rather high on the social pecking order due to being an upperclassmen and being a cutie with an attitude.

Fashion sense a mix between soft grunge, a touch of punk and more flowing feminine outfits, or neat and prim /professional outfits. Whatever she decides, she likes to look good.

Very talented at doing her make up and nails, tends to have a lot of requests from other girls her age for help in that dept.

Looks up to her sister a lot more than she lets on. Lowkey wants to be involved in a lot of what she does after school. (She even begged her parents to let her dye her hair blue as well right after Swiss did (She was 12 at the time))

Love’s shopping and collecting outfits and cute little butterfly themed things for her room.

While she’s in the ‘popular’ circle of girls in her grade, shes not particularly stuck up when it comes to other kids. She can be mean, but its usually to just as entitled kids. She’s rather tame and even friendly with less popular kids in her grade. She’s very comfortable around them and enjoys not being put on a pedestal all the time

Romance obsessed. (Duh)

Wishes she could get a piercing and a tattoo like her sissy, but her parents only let her pierce her ears. 

A’s in most of her classes, but struggles in History. It’s a snoozefest to her.

Currently in band and debate team. (She plays flute)

Takes FOR-E-VER to get ready to leave the house. (Hey, its not ALWAYS swiss’s fault shes’ late.)

Best friends in school are Livie and Bebe.

Spends a lot of time after school for Band practice, Debate team activities, or supporting her bestie Bebe in her cheer practice.

Really likes sneaking in the upperclassmen building. No one’s cute in her grade :/ (according to her)

Likes to fake being sick so she can go home early. way too often.

Bonus’es! 

ft some of my other... (albiet co-op) oc’s / and aquamarine cus i can

Bebe

Age: 14-15

Grade: 8th

Met Kyanite in 6th grade and they instantly hit it off well.

Bubble gum pink hair, and really likes fashion. Always obsessed with wearing the cutest combo of clothes she can come up with.

Really sweet and bubbly on the surface, but she isn’t called a bubblegum bitch for nothing. She knows shes popular and will often trick the vulnerable into believing they have social status only to humiliate them when she sees fit.

A little bit bitchier than Ky. Not that she wants to be mean actively, she just kind of ......is how we say.....spoiled brat.

As long as her best friend cares about someone she does too.

When she actually does accept you, shes a very sweet and almost loyal to the point of irritation.

Crushing on Kyanite, kissed her at a party and has kind of never got over it.

Serial dater. Literally she has a new sweetie every week. its tiring.

Junior Varsity Cheer Team and Drama club are her life.

When she’s not doing those things, she’s spending her time in her Juniors bowling team. They go to tourney during summer.

Parents aren’t filthy rich but they are not hurting for money in any shape or form. Shes always got whatever she wanted.

Loves getting gifts, and will almost try and bug people into sending her stuff to homeroom during holidays. Either because she wants STUFF or for her own popularity.

Might be kind of bitchy but really does feel bad and get upset if people point that out about her. I wouldn’t say she /wants/ to be a bad person. her parents never told her no and nor how to not be self centered.

Very talkative and upbeat. Wants to inspire her friends and lift them up.

On the other end, is a big gossip and bad about spreading rumors and stirring up drama with people she isn’t a fan of.

Show her a cute animal and she’ll sob. I mean the whole 9 yards.

 Marie  . (Aquamarine.)

Age: 17-18

Grade: 12th

Born and raised in London for the majority of her life.  She’s also lived in France for 3 years during an abroad program her parents sent her to where she met one of her closest friends (Astrid)

Her parents are filthy stinkin rich and own a foreign luxurious fashion company and a luxury car company.

Livie is her baby sister and she often tries to pretend like thats not the case. (She loves her guys i swear)

Stuck up, bratty, and just an overall bitch. She RELISHES in it. Marie KNOWS shes mean, popular and has power and she’s proud.

“you can’t sit with me, you can’t talk to me, you aren’t good enough to even know me.”

Her desire for power has her gunning for valedictorian (cue her and satoshit fighting to the death), and she’s currently the president of student government. Thats right. She’s deciding school functions and your future you little peasant fucks.

Will shove her riches and status down your THROAT oh my goooodddd

Throws HUGE parties when her parents are out of town, uses it as a tool to make the popular kids/upperclassmen love her even more and show the ‘losers’ where their place is.

Always has to look THE best in the school, and will probably murder anyone who threatens to take her places as prom queen (i kid i kid.........maybe)

Hangs out with Astrid and Mae when they’re in town.

Has a type that does not fall in line with her image (coughcough Swiss cough) and will do a LOT to keep in a secret. But....listen....she also can’t hide it well. Like...not even a little. She gay.

She’s always seen with her posse of popular girls and her two primary school friends the topazes. They’re just the schools huge UNITS of lesbian quarterbacks, their fists as big as your face, they wont squash you, promise. (look at marie wrong once bitch.)

Will die of embarrassment of her sister livie. Unfortunately is responsible for her in a lot of ways. Driving her back and forth from school, taking her to school functions and much more. (She loves her....double pinky swear) But she claims they aren’t related. (no one believes this hoe) That don’t mean she wont DESPERATELY try to pawn her off for the day. Babysitter? Butler? Anyone? SOMEONE?

Will absolutely use Livie as a means to hang out with Swiss via playdates. Oh yeah, she knows their baby sisters are besties. It’s free real estate.

Has expressed to Swiss that she wishes they could trade sisters. ( I swear marie loves livie deep down in this essay I will----)

In a wealth measuring contest with Satoshit 24/7

Is CONSTANTLY going on overseas trips. She will never stop bragging about it.

Consumed mostly by Student Government and Theatre.

[forkanna]

WARNING: I did tell you that Rise and Ai will have some views on gender and sexuality that I don't agree with. Well here they come in the next few chapters. Please take everything my characters say with a grain of salt; these are simply very realistic reactions and opinions, even if less than ideal.

[AO3] [WATTPAD]

-----------------------------------------------------

Why could she suddenly hear "Purity" playing in the background again?

"You… huh?" Rise finally managed. She had no idea how long it had taken her to say that much, even though it was practically nothing and she had already said that.

"Maybe… ugh. Now I'm embarrassed."

"What- now you're embarrassed?"

"Yes! Because clearly, it did something for me and it didn't do anything for you, so I'm all alone in caring about this, and I feel so stupid!"

Frantically waving her hands, Rise scooted a little closer as she hissed, "Wait, wait, slow down for a sec! I never said it didn't mean anything to me!"

"You did!" she sniffled, trying to recover from her emotional outburst.

"No, I said it wasn't the end of the world, and it's not that big a deal! But I… I'm not going to pretend I didn't feel anything at all. I did. You just seemed really upset about it, so I was… trying to let you know everything's okay."

Ai was glancing over at her occasionally now, clearly unsure of what she should do. Her mouth opened and closed a few times indecisively. "Ugh. I'm ridiculous. This is ridiculous, I don't know why we can't just be normal friends. What is wrong with me?"

"Um… can I ask you a question?"

"Might as well."

"Is this… Class S yuri, or… did you really…?"

They both looked at each other in shock for a moment. Rise was positive that they both were feeling the same thing, as well: the same sensation one gets standing at the edge of a deep precipice, fighting down vertigo and the unhealthy urge to throw oneself down. She couldn't help tracing the contours of Ai's stunningly beautiful face with her eyes, her proud chin and soft lips…

"O-of course it's just a Class S phase. I've never had a close friend, and everything got mixed up. It's probably similar for you, so we just… we have to work on not getting carried away. Right?"

"R-right! Yes, I…" Rise tried to get ahold of herself. This was too silly; they barely knew each other, all things considered. Brand new friends, fresh out of the shrinkwrap. So what was the use in going so crazy about them misreading signals and sending the wrong ones? They could sort this out.

"Great! Glad we settled that." Ai cleared her throat. "And I'm sorry for trying to blame you for everything."

"Oh, it's okay, we were both a little… y-yeah." Rise chanced a nervous giggle. "Sorry I smacked you."

"Hey, it's not like I didn't deserve it. You were right. Do… you want to…?"

When she didn't finish the thought, Rise prompted, "What?"

"Aiya? We, um, could stop by Aiya for a couple of beef bowls. O-or something." She grimaced. "I already feel like we wasted enough time fighting because I'm an oversensitive asshole."

Rise smiled and moved close enough to put her arm around her. "You're fine. And look; we're fine, too. Nobody's dying!"

"Yeah," Ai laughed very quietly. Rise could swear her cheeks were rosier, but that could easily have been from all the crying.

"I would love to go with you to Aiya. Like, we're friends! We should totally start hanging out like normal friends and stuff. Like, you could even come with me if I'm meeting up with Yuki-chan or Naoto-kun sometime."

For whatever reason, that made Ai stop smiling. But she cleared her throat and shook her head hard. "No. It's fine."

"Oh. Sorry, I didn't mean to… offend, I ju-"

"Wait, wait. I meant… it's fine for you to ask me. I should hang out with other friends besides just you. This is normal. I was… kind of…"

Why did she look so embarrassed? "Go ahead."

"I was talking to myself. Stupid. Trying to reassure myself that normal people hang out in large groups, and it's not you trying to ditch me. I'm sorry."

"Awwww, no need to be sorry." She cuddled her closer, and felt Ai stiffen briefly before letting out a sigh. She could hear it, her ear was so close… "We'll figure this crap out, buddy!"

"Buddy," she snorted. "Don't go too crazy, Risette."

"And you're not a fan." They both laughed and they embraced — really, truly embraced this time, no holding back, no letting the awkwardness hold them back. And it was good. Rise still felt her heart beating a little faster, but that was definitely the kind of thing that could be ignored. And she would — until such time as it went away. Even if it didn't, she could take it; she was tougher than she looked.

"Okay, let's go before I get grosser," Ai half-laughed, half-hiccuped as she drew back. Rise could see she had been crying again — and was already trying to wipe the tears away before she realised what she was doing. "Wh-what?"

"Just… trying to help." She pulled back and got a handkerchief out of her bag instead, handing it to her. "Sorry. Here, this is probably better."

Nodding, she started dabbing at her eyes with one hand while the other fished out her compact. The sound of lamentation as she saw her mascara was loud, but she still just nodded and put the compact away. "Well, I did promise myself I'm going to be less vain. Let's go to Aiya."

"You got it! And it's on me!"

"Wha- no way, I will fight you for that check!"

"BRING IT!"

                                                    ~ o ~

Everything was fine. Rise had been a little worried about how the evening would turn out, given how anxious they both were after their odd brush with lesbianism. No such issues. They were still just getting to know each other, and what better way to do that than over a steaming bowl of rice and beef?

Ai was a pretty interesting girl. She really didn't seem the type to like daifuku — Rise liked them, too, the sticky red bean paste and rice dough was so much fun to chew. But they were so very traditional, and Ai was a thoroughly modern girl who revelled in trends. Between that, her love of Korean dramas and old city pop, retro games, and hatred of aromatherapy, it was interesting how much they had in common even though a few things they definitely didn't. She loved uncovering this more well-rounded picture of the girl she wanted in her life more and more.

The week wore on, and Rise tried to track Ai down whenever she could to help cement their growing bond. They even hung out with the others a few times, and though Kanji and Yosuke kept getting nervous when she would snap at them for making some off-colour comment, generally everything went well. And by much the same token, Rise hung out with Ai's friends — or what passed for them. Kou and Daisuke had seemingly decided to give her another chance as manager. Yu had told her before that she basically just sat in the corner doing her nails, but she was doing much better at actually engaging with the team, by all accounts.

Thursday was different. Ai was gone again, and didn't respond to texts. Eventually, she did get a message back in the evening…

EBI: Sorry I just needed a day

RISE: What's wrong? RISE: Anything I can do? ;-;

EBI: No I'm…

RISE: Ai-chan?

EBI: Listen it's really dumb but my mom called. EBI: And I just needed a little time to get out of my head

RISE: Oh you ditched again? RISE: You're going to get in trouble you know…

EBI: Listen I know you're going to lecture me but just save it EBI: Oh too late you sent yours before I could send mine

RISE: I'm sorry, I just don't want you to fail and get held back

EBI: Yeah I know. EBI: Thanks. :heart:

RISE: You could have told me and I'd ditch with you

EBI: What? No. I wouldn't want you to miss class because of me

RISE: Are you ditching tomorrow?

EBI: …probably

RISE: Where are we going?

EBI: Come on I told you that's not necessary. This is my damage and my weird thing and I have to face it EBI: And sometimes I need to be alone.

RISE: OKAYYYY okay

EBI: Fine. I'm probably going into Shinjuku this time

RISE: I'm really sorry for pushing RISE: Wait what? RISE: ALL THE WAY TO SHINJUKU?!

EBI: Hey I said I needed space and Okina isn't cutting it EBI: And I promise I'll be fine

RISE: ...when and where? Straight to Yasoinaba Station?

EBI: Rise… EBI: Alright I guess I can't stop you

RISE: Really?

EBI: Pain in the ass EBI: Yeah fine… 8AM don't be late or I'll leave without you.

RISE: YAAAAAAAAAAY~ RISE: We're gonna have the best time just you wait!

EBI: Uh huh EBI: Lol you're amazing.

RISE: Huh? Why?

EBI: Nevermind EBI: See you tomorrow.

RISE: Can't wait Ebi-chaaaaaaaaaaan~

EBI: UGH

And that was that. The pop star curled up in her bed with her big plush Jack Frost, grinning into the stuffing as she contemplated what the next day could bring.

                                                    ~ o ~

"What the hell are you wearing?"

"SHH!" Rise hissed at her as she strolled up to Ai on the train platform. "I'm incognito!"

"Uh huh. Can you take those big sunglasses off? It makes you look like a cartoon character."

Rise pouted as she pulled her shades off. At least most of her hair was still stuffed up into an oversized cap; no trademark pigtails to tip off Shinjuku residents that a famous idol had gone truant for the day. "Don't make fun of me. I'm not used to skipping."

"Weak. But I guess it still looks okay, it's just very… Parisian?"

"Whatever. You look cute, though."

"Oh, this?" Ai said airily, swishing out her long bohemian skirt around her heeled boots. Also seemingly suited to colder weather, but her top was a light blue babydoll tee; somehow she pulled it off, even though it was so much less ornate. Her bag was also a little simpler than usual. "I just rolled out of bed and was this fabulous."

"Right," she giggled, bumping her with her hip. The formerly-grumpy girl finally cracked a smile. "This is cute, but you usually have super pricey Prada or Anello or whatever."

"Hm? Yeah, I like this kind of bag. It is Anello — well, Legato Largo. It's more functional."

"Totally." The train pulled in just then, and Rise stepped forward to board once the doors opened, following Ai's lead. "Where are we off to?"

"Shinjuku."

"Well, I know that," she laughed. "But I mean, did you have anything in particular in mind? I mean, it's kind of… a rough neighbourhood, a little."

"Not if you stay out of Kabukicho. And we will," she reassured Rise with a raised hand. "Believe me, I'm even less interested in being jumped than you are."

"Why do you think I'm 'interested' in being jumped?!"

Ai snorted as she held onto a strap and the train took off. "I didn't say you were! Just… because I'm- nevermind, I just meant I don't have a death wish."

It didn't take them long to get to the bustling streets of Tokyo, and switch train lines to run up to Shinjuku. The same way Rise had been relieved to get to Okina, she was even more full of life now that they were really in a thriving metropolis again. So many sights and sounds! Grinning, she turned and grabbed Ai's hands, dragging her forward.

"H-hey, slow down!"

"You're the one that wanted to come here!" she giggled. "So why so slow?"

"Okay, okay, GOD." Taking a deep breath, she brushed down the front of her clothes needlessly, even though they had barely been rumpled, if at all. "Wherever you want. But I do want to stop in somewhere eventually."

"Where?" No response. So instead of dwelling, Rise just sang out, "Okaaay, then let's goooo!"

                                                    ~ o ~

The day was everything she had secretly been hoping for. They dipped in and out of lots of shops, buying one or two things but mostly browsing. Took advantage of the big city to grab foods that weren't readily available in a small town like Inaba. Stopped to speak to some of the more colourful inhabitants. Rise knew vaguely that a lot of gay men hung out there, but she didn't expect to see so many in flamboyant colours, openly acting so, so… feminine. It was both bizarre and exciting. Were there really this many people in the world who bucked societal norms so openly?

All along the way, Ai was becoming more and more comfortable with her. She still sniped and snarked but there was a playfulness to it that surpassed her previous efforts. They further eroded their anxieties about the accidental lip-lock and started to hold hands and pull each other over to see something instead of being horribly shy all the while. Progress was progress.

Finally, a little after they had enjoyed steaming bowls of udon for lunch, Ai dragged her down an alley unexpectedly. Rise asked if this was where she was finally going to get them "jumped", but Ai only laughed that off.

"No, but seriously, where are we going?"

"You'll see… okay… here."

"'Crossroads'? Okay, cool. Is it a karaoke bar?"

"Not… quite. But I promise we won't be long."

The interior was dimly lit, and everything seemed tinted red. There was a sort of warm atmosphere, combined with a raciness because of the low mood lighting. Rise was fascinated; she had been to a few more upscale places because of her work, and some of the venues she had performed at had bars inside, but this was the first standalone public house she had entered. Mostly because she was a couple of years too young to really be doing that…

"Hey, sugar. You lose your way?"

While Rise was still goggling at how deep the voice was that had come out of the kimono-clad woman behind the bar, Ai was smiling and turning fully in her direction, hands clasped so politely in front of her. "Not yet. But you did help me find it once."

The woman squinted for a moment, then gasped and pressed a hand to her chest. "Little Ebi-chan? Is that you?!"

Rise half-expected them to run together like in a movie and embrace, but they didn't; Ai just smiled wider and plopped herself down on one of the bar stools. "It's me, Ai. In the flesh."

"Whooo! I see that, wow. Well heck, you got no business in here; you're no performer."

"No, definitely not," she admitted with a laugh. "And you helped me see that, Escargot-san."

"PFFFFF," she scoffed very loudly, waving one of those meaty hands. Rise couldn't help thinking that this bar definitely didn't need a bouncer because the hostess herself was so strong-looking! "You'll call me Lala or you'll get outta here. Now, I'm pretty sure I'm not gonna serve you two a drop, since your little friend there doesn't look any older than you. Want a lime-and-tonic?"

"Sure. One for both of us."

"Oh! I…" Rise cleared her throat. "Can I have a cherry, if you don't mind?"

"Sweetie, for you? Two cherries." Rise giggled a little, pleased at the concession. While she made the drinks, she asked, "What brings you back to the neighbourhood? Haven't seen you for a couple of years."

"Oh, I heard from Mother again." Even while Lala was sighing, she passed over Ai's drink, and she stared down into its sparkling depths. "Had to get out of my head. I tried bumming around Okina yesterday, but it's just too…"

"It's the sticks, honey. Of course that's not gonna be enough of a distraction. You need flashing lights, dancing, drinking- well… not drinking," she said firmly, pointing at her. "And I'd better not hear you started trying to sneak booze at any of the other places around here, neither. Everybody knows everybody in this neighb-"

"Okay, okay, wow," Ai cackled before taking a sip. "Mm. I promise not to try to scam drinks from other bartenders."

Lana nodded firmly, satisfied for the time being. Then she turned to Rise. "What's your story, sugar? In the same club as your gal pal?"

"Huh? Oh, I… no, I haven't joined her club; they already have a manager."

For some reason, Ai looked worried about this. Why? They both knew for certain that she had no interest in the basketball club — even just being their manager like Ai was. But her answer seemed to satisfy. "Really? Well hell, that's quite a performance you're putting on, queen! All that contouring, and those are fabulous!"

She had gestured to her chest. While Rise was blushing and looking down, Ai cleared her throat and hastily said, "N-no, Lala, she… don't you know her? This is Risette! You've probably, um, probably seen her v-videos, or heard her songs?"

"Oh, it's Risette, is it?" Lala chuckled, waggling her fingers like she were casting a magic spell or sprinkling glitter. "I used to have a thing for Cher — don't even say it, I know, I know. Walking cliché. But I'm sure you can guess how well that went over; I gave that up eventually, settled on this." She fluffed her violet-hued hair… which shifted. A wig?

"No, I mean she's really Risette. Rise Kujikawa? Like, we're going to school together." Nothing. "The Quelorie Magic ads?"

Now Lala was blinking and looking at her again. "Hmm, really? The hair's not right." Hoping to help clear this up and move things along, Rise took her cap off, letting her pigtails fall. They were messier, but she was still more comfortable with them that way than with her hair down. "Ahhh, there it is! Well I'll be- you two ain't kidding, are ya? This would be a pretty weird prank if you were."

"Nope, it's me," Rise laughed awkwardly. Still a little thrown off by some of their word choices — what contouring? What performance, and why were her boobs being complimented?!

"And no, we're not in the same clubs. In fact, I don't think she knows much about my club at all."

The way those words were emphasised threw Rise off even more. Conversely, Lala's eyebrows shot up, and she looked between them for a moment… before gasping. "OH! Ohhhh, well then, that's fine. Just found a famous friend when you moved to the boonies!"

"Y-yeah," she finally sighed in relief. If Rise didn't know any better, she would swear her friend was sweating now; maybe that shine on her temples was just a trick of the light. "It's pretty wild; I mean, she grew up there, but I don't think anybody expected her to go back after she made it big."

"Nope," Rise said distantly.

"Sorry," she whispered. "I, um… I probably shouldn't tell your whole life story."

"It's fine! So, um, Lala, you have a wonderful bar here. Crazy good atmosphere!"

The bartender was still smiling at her and chuckling as one of the curtains rustled that led to the restrooms, Rise assumed. She barely glanced over. "Well, thank you much. Real lovely soul for an idol; they usually end up kinda bitter." Then she did turn to the side properly. "Hey, you'd better stop stinking up my back room, gaijin."

"Whaaaaat?" called out the lively redhead in the yellow dress. Not that her bobbed hair could possibly have been that vivid shade of crimson naturally — though she was an American, so it was entirely possible. Rise had a hard time telling Westerners apart, but there was no way someone that gaudy couldn't be from the States. "Come on, Lala-san! I have to get on my perfume, where else will I?"

Her Japanese was just quirky enough, both in terms of word usage and her bizarre accent, that the others laughed. "You're a riot, sweetie. But congrats, I guess you're part of Ai's club for real now."

"YES!" The woman saluted, other hand on her hip. Then she laughed. "What club is that? The Love Club?"

"Close enough. Erica, this is… Ai-chan?" Ai nodded. That was funny; Rise could have sworn they were old friends of some kind, and she forgot her name? "Ai, this is Erica… An… Andeshi…"

"Anderson," she provided in her normal accent. "Boy, it's weird using English again after all that time Nihongo-ing!"

"Uhhhh, right," Ai laughed, clearly having no idea what she was hearing.

"Hey! I'm Risette, and I want to be the star of your heart!"

That single line made the woman's huge brown eyes shoot even wider. "Whoooaaaa! Holy Schnikes, your English is really good, like you sound like a Yankee and shit!"

Stammering, she managed, "Sorry! I do not… understand…" Then she switched back to her native tongue and hissed, "I just learned that part for a show and like, a handful of other phrases; I'm really sorry."

"Ohhhh, it's okay," she laughed with a huge grin. Something about this woman instantly set Rise at ease; like she was almost as used to doing that as Rise herself. "Why did you learn that?"

"You missed it, honey," Lala laughed. "Risette here's a big idol. And yes, I have seen you strutting your stuff on the news; you're killing it, girl."

"Oh, thanks," she laughed, having already forgotten about that thread of conversation. "But yeah, that was one of the phrases I had to learn for my New York City concert — even though that's the only one I performed overseas. I also learned, 'Everybody having fun tonight?' and 'I love you all!' and a few more."

Erica laughed and applauded, as if she were performing a particularly impressive trick. "Amazing! You might know only a small English but you sound very good!" As the others chuckled again, she turned back to Ai. "So what did she mean? Lala-chan. You and me in the Love Club."

"O-oh, um…" She glanced at Rise, who arched her eyebrows at her. "Ugh. Come on, I'll tell you back here."

While Rise blinked, Ai led the redhead over to a booth in the corner. They were both roughly the same height, though Erica was taller by a hair. Figuring there wasn't much point in watching them whisper to each other, she turned back to smile at the host of the bar.

"Ai-chan didn't tell you why she brought you here, did she?"

"Nope," Rise offered lightly as she tugged one of the cherries out of her glass. "Just that she wanted me to see this place. Maybe you were some kind of tutor? Helped her pass some class? I don't know."

Lala laughed heartily as she wiped down the bar. "Close enough. You know, I'm honestly kind of relieved."

"Huh?"

"Back when I knew this little squirt, she didn't know which way was up. And I could tell she was heading for a fall; she lucked out with her parents, but she was going to throw herself so hard into her new life that she would forget who she was. But it looks like that straightened out eventually."

"Uh… huh," she said dubiously, turning to look at Ebihara again. Now those two were hugging tightly. She would hug some complete stranger and not her? Though the longer she looked…

Erica's expression was taut and pained. It looked like a couple of things they had talked about were less than fun.

"You've got a pretty special friend, Risette. Just go easy on her."

"I will, Escargot-san," she said right away, turning back so she could bow properly.

"Woweeee, everybody's so formal today," she chuckled as she turned to head into the back. But just then, footsteps approached, so she paused in her action to wait and see what happened.

"…and don't you be worried," Erica was saying, her arm around Ai's shoulders. "I wish I could stay and help but I have to go back to Chicago. And I promise, it will get better. Look at me, over thirty years, and I am very happy! And strong, like a wrestler! And beautiful!"

"And humble," Ai laughed, and the others laughed with her. Then she reached up to rest a hand on Erica's upper arm. "But seriously, I could never thank you enough. It's so… nice knowing I'm not alone. Even if I would have to move to the USA to be less alone in a literal sense."

"Oh, you're alone. I'm in a class all by myself — Boss always says this. He even loves my feet because I am so special." When the others exchanged curious glances, she cleared her throat and said, "No! I mean, he takes care of them, with nice shoes! Sneakers?"

"Ohhhhh," Rise said, laughing a little too much to try to hide her confusion and discomfort. She felt like Yukiko. "I was about to say, that seems a little over the line if he's your boss!"

"Yes! Though I am sure he would love them if I gave him a chance. Look!" She slammed her leg up on the bar, and Lala was already rolling her eyes in mild exasperation. "See? Beautiful!"

While Rise was politely examining the pedicure shown off by Erica's strappy sandals, she caught sight of Ai out of the corner of her eye — and noticed she was blushing hard. So either she was a candidate to love Erica's feet instead of this Boss character, or she was being powerfully reminded of something embarrassing. Rise tried to recall a hazy memory, some story about Yukiko and Chie… she only wished she could remember what it was.

                                                    To Be Continued…

[szopenhauer]

About my gf - survey

How did you meet?

I was going to school with one of her best friends, we went to a concert together, we lost contact for 10 years and this April we started to talk all over again 

How did they ask you to be their?

it’s a complicated/long story

Your first kiss.

I kinda blacked out (been on strong meds) and kissed her while we were sitting on a coach in her apartment, holding hands, I put my face in her hair and told her I love her then... I tried to leave the apartment asap, immediately, run! XD but she said I was good and today I wasn’t that good - lame of me I forgot how to do that 

Favorite gift they gave you.

she gave me her photo, a cat necklace and a stuffed unicorn that is our daughter - she called it Tęcza/Rainbow

Nicknames for one another.

I call her - sunshine/słońce, mom, cat/kot/kocik, kochanie and by her name of course

she calls me using various versions of my first name, skarbie/skarbek, daddy, tatuśku, top, beeb

*I’m also her natural contraception

What do you think of their family? What does his/her family think of you?

I think our dads are ok with us, her mom is dead now but she didn’t like me I guess? and my mom just found out - not sure what she’s thinking 

Inside joke?

many - I might list them sometime unless she wants to

Ten things you like about them.

she knows me so well like she looked into my soul or smth which is weird because she doesn’t know me that long and yet she understands me more than most of the people in my entire life ever did and she seem to accept me for who I am and even actually love me for my crappy self - both body and personality, I’m very ill and could hurt her - she still sticks with me through and through! she even written a story about me and didn’t forget me for ages and it feels like we actually didn’t skip those last 10 years but been there somewhere in each other’s lives because she’s like one of those old friends who were and are always there, you know? she remembers what I like and what I said, she always finds time for me, I just don’t know what she sees in me... 

her jokes, I love to laugh with her, time flies when I’m with her, makes me smile, she’s a lot of fun but not the kind of fun I prefer to avoid hahaha

apparently her touch, her touching me which is something new, a whole new experience because I don’t like to touch or be touched by anybody but I crave her somehow even tho I like my space/time alone, she was my first kiss, she doesn’t seem to bother me or tire me much, I think about her almost at all times (especially when I feel worse), she’s patient with me and I try to be the same towards her

similar opinions, some interests that we share

we complete each other, we’re not too different but not too identical, we’re just a pretty good match, we care for each other, worry about each other, help each other, support each other, she keeps me alive

we don’t argue, we talk, we explain, our primary love language is words of affirmation and I feel like I can open up to her, I can trust her with most things and I hope she can say the same thing about me ha! she’s being herself, she’s not pretending to be someone else, she’s bold, honest, imperfect which makes her more human/real and that makes me comfy to be around

those weird coincidences that happen often like signs that we should be together - I mean - maybe it’s not part of her but part of the universe but it's definitely ABOUT her

her hair

her butt

she’s cute XD

Your song. t.a.t.u. - All the things she said

How often do you see each other?

as for covid and her working and me being an introvert? often lol

What about her friends? What do they have to say about you?

ask THEM

Things you both have in common.

our parents have the same names (our fathers are from the same town), we were born the same year, we like 80s music, we have similar humor, we finish each other sentences/often have similar idea at the same time, we both lost a sibling and both have one older sibling that is still alive and we’re both black sheeps of our families lmfao, we both have health problems, we both had similar experiences when it comes to finding/accepting our sexual orientation

Biggest differences between you two.

she’s more an optimist while I’m a pessimist, she wears black clothes all the time tho and I am colorful and childish when it comes to my outfits, she hates yellow and green which are my fav colors, she’s a cat person and I’m a dog person, she’s an extravert and I’m an introvert, she works and I’m unemployed, she prefers boobs while I prefer butts, she’s tall and I’m short, she has long hair and I have short, she wears glasses and I don’t, she likes food I hate/am allergic to, she drinks and I don’t, she’s a musician and knows lots about technology

What you imagine your future with him/her to be. I’m fine with what we have now, we’ll see

A movie that is special to your relationship. some movies and shows remind me of her if that counts

What you two do together? mostly chat, joke, flirt, touch, walk around...

How long have you been together?

not long

Describe meeting his/her family. I thought her mom poisoned me so...

How well do I know her:

Their birthday - March *checks fb* 25th :x

Their astrological sign - Aries

Their middle name - they don’t have a middle name

The names of their parents - same as mine XD

The names of their sibling(s), if they have any - crap I forgot her brother’s name... ok now I checked, sorry lol

The names of their current pet(s), if they have any - *crickets, brain fog*

their name is Cat/Kot and I can’t believe I mixed it with cats of her grandma

*facepalm*

Their all-time favorite animated movie - I know she likes Minions and Shrek

The last TV show they binge-watched - some sort of anime for sure

Their biggest celebrity crush - no idea, I know she likes some korean guys but... she’s a lesbian so...

Their favorite swear word - chuj

Their go-to karaoke song - Evanescence - Bring me to life

[lesbianfreyja]

Can you please fill me a bit in whats happening with shameless? I stopped watching it last season, just couldnt handle the soap opera of it all

i only watched the ianmickey scenes so i dont know too much abt the others but here’s what i’ve gleaned from the bits of scenes i catch bookending the gay stuff:

debbie: began offering bjs for money as a distraction (?????) when people began to question the clothing scheme she was running. possibly trying to send her kid to foster care, difficult to tell when lip’s gf takes care of the baby most of the time. more of her in a minute though. frank ruined debbie’s scheme and now somehow she’s sleeping with a high schooler AND her mom, the mom gives debbie money to be a trophy wife basically. not sure how that happened. debbie’s bi now and just began sleeping with mickey’s lesbian cousin

lip: BORINGGGG. lip is boring now. he works at a mechanic’s and lives in an RV behind the house (?) with his hot baby mama. they raise their kid and do boring house stuff and are working toward like being normal

carl: ??? failed out of west point or something, i think he’s undercover doing weird shit to get into a gang or something. lost interest in him after the huge racist arc in s7 tbh. had to watch him have car sex, 0/10

fiona: moved out, left debbie 50 grand. not sure where all that went. i’m pretty sure she moved out in the same coat she almost ran away w/ jimmy in at the end of s1, which would be cool except maybe she just only owns one jacket

frank: who knows. i keep scrolling past his naked body when trying to fast forward though >:(

liam: kinda unsure except he talks now and is hanging out, independently, with what appears to be a high school basketball team. i think he just realized his dream (?)

ianmickey: HEEERES the juice gays. okay so ian and mickey were cellmates in prison except they were fighting bc they were in close quarters way too much and every little thing annoyed them so ian got manipulated by a guy who didn’t want to be parolled into stabbing the guy so that ian would go to solitary and the guy would stay in jail except then mickey took separating for a bit to mean a breakup so he tried to break up with ian first by stabbing the guy so they both stabbed him except they had a nice CO who just escorted them back to their cage POST-STABBING and mickey was still mad because ian was fucking him with mayo every morning except then ian got paroled and mick asked him to stay in jail since apparently he WENT to jail just to BE with ian (which apparently viewers already knew like that wasn’t a revelation) and then ian said he’d do it if mickey wanted him to so he went to stab someone else to throw his parole but mickey stopped him last minute with his gang and told ian it was wrong to ask him to stay and also ian had a gay friend group in prison (who were murderers) and mickey went to his dad’s nazi friends for boy advice (who gave it to him) and then ian got out and then thru circumstances i don’t understand mickey snuck out? was paroled? and ended up on a bus where his PO found him but just sorta escorted him home so mickey goes home to ian who now has a PO that is blackmailing him into running an insurance scam and the PO “always wanted a milkovich” so she bribes mickey’s PO to transfer mickey to her but she sucks and so she gets thrown out of a window shortly thereafter and ian thinks that mickey did it and mickey thinks that ian did it so he goes to his dad and his lesbian cousin and it turns out mickey’s helping them restore & move guns or whatever and mickey’s dad knows he’s gay because mickey goes to him for advice on what to do about ian and terry is almost just regular-homophobic for a second about the whole concept of mickey caring for ian because they’re together but once someone brings up marriage he calls mickey some slurs and threatens to kill him and gets real specific with what genitals mickey’s partners need to have and at the same time as this is all going on, ian is separately getting advice to marry mickey so they get engaged to abuse spousal privilege (because they both think the other one killed their PO) except when theyre at the courthouse they see that the PO’s blackmailed lesbian lover did the crime so they get in a fight about the “real” reason they got engaged and even though he’s upset mickey signs the marriage cert anyway but ian doesn’t because he’s too self-loathing to think he deserves love so they break up and mickey starts fucking a “glittery twink” (his dyke cousin’s words, or maybe ian’s?) that he obviously hates and also he’s pretending that he’s vers now so they make a bunch of homophobic jokes about the boyfriend (that mickey’s moved in with, and he drives a moped) and as revenge ian gets a grindr date to where mickey’s going that night and he meets them there with his extremely flamboyant date so they make a bunch of homophobic jokes about him and then the glittery twink says something mean about mickey so ian beats the shit out of him and then mickey knocks ian’s date out cold for saying he’d sit on ian’s dick later and ian proposes to mickey even though earlier at the courthouse mickey pushed him down the stairs and broke his leg but regardless mickey says yes so they get engaged and terry comes back the next morning with a gun and calls mickey slurs outside the house and they pull a gun on each other and more homophobic things are said and mickey begins getting really really into wedding planning “as revenge” to make it the most nauseating thing his dad’s ever seen but he very obviously actually deeply cares and wants all of this because mickey has been turned into a caricature of himself whose only traits are violence and honed, homophobic stereotypes of domesticity

and that’s what you missed on shameless.

[iatasbcl]

Can’t Help Falling In Love

Pairing: Gavin Reed x RK900 (Richard/Nines)

A/N: Tina Chen is my fav lesbian. Also, guess I ship reed900 now,,,

Summary: It’s Tina’s wedding and Gavin has Richard as his date.

Word count:2170

“Ladies and gentlemen give it up for our newlyweds, Nora, and Tina Chen!”

Gavin cheered when he saw his long-time friend finally enter with her bride, both danced to the music that played and had the world’s shiniest smile on their faces. Happiness practically radiated off them.

He felt himself smile unwillingly. “You look positively cheerful, detective.” It was the same cool voice he grew used to, albeit a bit more empathetic now. Gavin’s grin grew wider, “Damn right I am, my girl made it.”

He turned to Nin- Richard and saw him smile back at him, “Yes, I suppose Officer Chen has ‘made it’. Her Dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin levels are off the charts.” Gavin let out an amused scoff and knitted his brows together, still grinning.

“You can drop the formalities ya know? We are at a wedding.” He muttered and Richard’s LED turned yellow at the statement. The android gave him a blank stare then nodded slowly. They looked back to the women of the hour. They giggled together and stood by each other as another song started to play, Gavin immediately recognized it.

“The newlyweds will now have their first dance.” The man announced, Tina and Nora faced each other and got into position.

Wise men say, only fools rush in

The first verse began and with it, they moved, they twirled and danced while looking into each other’s eye with what he could assume was unconditional love. Now Gavin wouldn’t consider himself to be a sappy man, nope, no fucking way.

But, this. This was somehow so touching and soul-stirring for him. Seeing one so devoted to another that they probably the rest of the world exists, fuck. He wanted that, he wanted to be an absolute fool that got pampered with love and adoration. He would never admit it though

“Gavin. You zoned out, are you alright?” This brought him out of his little bubble, the song had ended, and Richard looked at him with worry. Richard. He was his date for the night, just his companion, his coworker that agreed to be his ‘date’. It was sad, it was pathetic, but it beat being alone on your best friend’s wedding. Or so he thought.

“Yeah, yeah-” He froze when he realized it. Had he just called him by his name? “Gavin?”

There he went again. Gavin shook his thoughts off, he asked him to be casual, why the hell did that make his mind foggy? It didn’t matter. “Yeah, uh, I’m good.” He shrugged.

It was time for him to give his man of honor speech, and saying he was a wreck was an understatement. The wedding had been so wholesome so far, he didn’t want to ruin Tina’s perfect vision. He sighed as he listened to Nora’s maid of honor’s speech, it was quite emotional, as in he could see the women tearing up. He felt slightly bad for finding it a bit funny.

“Are you anxious, Gavin?” was Richard’s sudden, quiet question.

“No. Why?” He wasn’t going to confide in him.

“Well, your heartbeat keeps increasing as your turn nears. Your palms are slightly shaking and a bit sweaty. It seems as if you are afraid.” He said it in his usual monotone voice like he was stating simple facts.

Gavin snorted, “Huh, me? Scared? No fucking way.”

“You do realize I am an advanced model that can detect lies, right?” Richard said with a smirk, an actual fucking smirk. He felt his heart skip a beat, but he quickly regained his composure. What the fuck was that.

“Your heartbeat does not have a usual beat either, it seems like your terrible caffeine addiction is taking its toll. You should seek medical attention.” The man with steel-eyes said and went back to looking around. The bridesmaid had finally finished her speech. Gavin got up slowly and looked around, everyone was here.

Hank, tin c- Connor, Chris, hell, even the captain was here, and other friends from work. Not that he cared, this was cool, cool, cool, cool-

“Gavin.” Again, the man snapped him out of it, this time it was different though. His soft hand touched his rough one. “Breath. I am sure Tina will appreciate what you have to say.”

His words were simple, and his touch was gentle. It was weird, they had been partners for a while and while he kinda liked him before, he never really let him get this close. Now that he did, he couldn’t help but wish he could stay like this and shit, he didn’t like where his mind was going.

He snatched his hand and just went to where the microphone was, not responding to what Richard said at all. He pulled out his speech and sighed.

“Hey uh, Good evening everyone.” He started, “Hope everyone’s having a good time,” He heard someone woo in the back of the room. “Well for those of you that know me from work, I am shit-bag Gavin.” He heard someone chuckling, probably agreeing with him, Tina smiled.

“Well, I am also Tina’s friend. I’ve known her for over 10 years now and I… couldn’t be happier for her. I remember eating shitty ramen and watching her get ready for her big date, freaking out over how her shoe looked or how her hair wasn’t good. I remember her coming back and looking like she had the time of her life.”

He went on and told some other stories of their relationship and him being their favorite third wheel. How Nora turned out to be allergic to cats and had to be rushed to the hospital the moment she set foot into their apartment. How Nora popped a Champaign bottle and the cork flew directly into Tina's face, hitting her eye. She wore a black eyepatch for a while.

Tina looked at her wife and held her hand, kissing it softly. “I think what makes those two goofballs perfect is how they came through for each other. Always supported one another. Some things are meant to be, and those are definitely one of them.” He paused and looked at the couple, “I wish the best for the both of you, you deserve it.”

“I am glad I got to be a part of your special day, it’s uh- an honor.” Fuck, he didn’t mean to stutter. Wait what was he going to say? He looked back to his paper, but he couldn’t focus, shit, shit, shit.

“Uh,” he gulped and looked around, everyone was still looking at him. Richard did too, he smiled at him and gave him a thumps-up. He closed his eyes for one second, collecting his thoughts. He opened them again, picked up the glass next to him and raised it.

“Let’s all raise a glass to our newlyweds.” And they did, some clapped and wooed. He gave the couple a quick hug and went back to his seat, his heart was finally slowing down.

“You were great.” Said, Richard. He felt his cheeks heat up a bit, “Yeah, I know.” He tried to shrug it off. “hmm, of course, you do.” Came Richard’s sarcastic remark.

Time passed and couples were dancing to the slow song that played. Gavin and Richard were still sitting in their place, the prior man was observing everyone; they seemed to have fun. Even Connor was out there on the dance floor.

“Wouldn’t you like to dance, Gavin?” Richard finally said as he fixed his tux. Gavin rolled his eyes, “You don’t have to fucking pity me okay? I don’t want any of that.”

The android raised his eyebrow, almost offended. “Pity you?” he questioned.

“Yes, stop it. I know you agreed to come with me but ya don’t have to pretend to like me.” He hissed, “Perhaps you should consider asking before making such assumptions, Gavin.” He hissed back.

“I came here with you because I wanted to, and I am asking you to dance because it’s what I would like to do. I would not be here if it was to simply throw you a pity party.” His LED was yellow, again.

“You wanted to come to the wedding, as my date?” He asked in disbelief, “Of course, why else would I be here?”

Oh. Shit, he did not expect this, at all. Richard got up and extended his hand to him, “Now, would you like to dance?”

He cursed internally when he froze again. He wasn’t some dumb teenager deep in love, it was just a dance, just a dance with someone that wanted to be his date. Holy shit.

He took his hand carefully, making sure he wouldn’t change his mind suddenly. Richard pulled him up and towards the dance floor. This felt ridiculous, why did he feel like he could give his whole life to this android?

“Do you even know how to dance?”

“Yes, I learned how to when you asked me to be your date.” He answered like it was the most obvious shit in the world. He held Gavin’s hand while the other rested on his shoulder, Gavin was getting a heart attack today.

Richard slowly leaned in as they swayed together and whispered, “Relax.” Was he some weird hypnotizer? why the hell did his words have this effect on him? “Some things are meant to be.”

“Huh?”

“As a river flows,” He continued, not breaking eye contact, “surely into the sea,” he moved closer, “Darling, so it goes,”

Being on fire would be accurate enough to describe how Gavin felt, this was wrong, this felt like a sin to him, why did he feel so much for an android?

“Somethings are meant to be.” He finished the chorus, “It was a part of your speech.” Oh, right. “I didn’t think you would enjoy this kind of music, Gavin.”

Gavin could feel disappointment wash over him, but he smirked nonetheless, “Well, I am full surprises.” They continued to dance, “It’s my pop’s and mom’s favorite song.” He confessed.

“I see.” They looked into each other’s eyes and Gavin wondered if this what it felt like to utterly defeated by love. To be so lost in someone you forget anyone else exists. If so, he wanted this to last for eternity.

He couldn’t help it, he thought. He can’t help this feeling that straight up invaded his heart, this fondness, this adoration, love, whatever they call it. He couldn’t help falling in love with an aloof andr- man.

They got closer now, he looked up at him and Richard did the same. Time froze and it was just him and this man that he’s fallen for. Something in him pushed him to be even closer and he instinctively put his arms around the taller man’s neck.

Neither of them said anything, just reveling in each other’s presence. But he wanted to say it, he wanted to let it out, but he just couldn’t.

“Is there something you want to say?” he probably analyzed him. “Well, uh, yes.”

“Can we go somewhere else? Somewhere private.” He pleaded and luckily Richard immediately complied, leading him to a surprisingly empty room.

He stood there, trying to collect his thoughts for a minute. The other man just stared at him, his LED still a dim yellow.

“You know how I am me and well, shit.” This was harder than what he thought, “I- uh. I think I care about you, no wait scrap that, I know it.”

He wished the ground would tear open and swallow him whole, Richard didn’t even react to what he said, at all.

“Shit, just, forget what I said. I’m gonna go outside for a while.” He rushed to leave he was pulled back, “I care about you too.”

It was simple. The words slipped out of his mouth with the same monotony. But one look could tell him his voice didn’t match how he felt. His LED was switching between red and yellow; his usual straight posture was now slightly bent.

“You, uh- sure?” He stuttered and Richard nodded, holding his hand. “You are ‘trash’.” Wow, how romantic. “You can’t control your temper and you can be as stubborn as a toddler, but.” He paused, “You are also kind, supportive and a good detective. Today proves it. I enjoy your company, no matter how ‘trashy it is. I love it.”

God, this was cheesy, like those romcoms he always made fun of. But damn if this didn’t mess him up in the best way possible. He laughed, earning an unamused look from his love. “Did I do it wrong? My research suggested I should be hones-”

Gavin waved his hand and got closer to him, “No, you dumbass. It was perfect.”

“Oh.” After that he tightly wrapped his hands around Gavin, slightly bending to put his head on his neck. The heat came back to his cheeks, but he returned the gesture anyway, loving every second of it.

Some things were really meant to be. Maybe this was it.

[prongsmydeer]

Ayesha Liveblogs One Tree Hill S1

No matter how many times I watch the pilot I consistently forget that Nathan and Peyton used to date

“Don’t bother showering tonight” is that really your come-on Peyton I will never understand sports

Lmao @ Nathan and Peyton “OTP: Distracted Driving”

“You’re despicable, you know that,” said Dan, a literal future murderer

I’m always so thrown when ppl in shows start drinking at their workplaces like what kind of bold behaviour Whitey you work at a high school

“What are you wasting your time at now?” Nathan ur a terrible boyfriend

“I say that the people who pray here are wasting their time. God doesn’t watch sports” I know Lucas is pretentious as all hell but this is my favourite line in any sports show ever

Karen is such a good mom ahhhhh like she just wants Lucas to be happy and she knows he’ll put other people’s happiness first 

Dan calling Lucas ‘this kid’ like he’s not his wholeass son what a dick

It’s not lost on me that Keith telling Lucas stories about his father means that it’s Lucas’s grandfather Keith Scott is truly the only dad in this show who matters

“So why’d you just tell me all that” because he loves to monologue

“If I could [change the fact that Lucas exists], I would” Dan answer your door I need to send you a very rude telegram

I am in love with Moira Kelly and also I want Karen to punch Dan

The music of this show is really.... transcendent 

Djhfkjhfkjh since Lucas is implied to have like, five friends.... is that crowd of supporters hugging him just a bunch of people who think Nathan is a dick

I admire Lucas for deciding he was gonna put up with all this bullshit to do something he loves

Omg I forgot that Brooke wasn’t in the pilot she’s such a major character

“Nice hands” “Nice legs” Emo flirting in a jock setting lmaooooo

My inner 2007 angst awakens every time I hear Gavin Degraw. He is THAT bitch

“You ever think I might want to talk” Peyton and Nathan’s relationship is truly nothing but blind horniness they have nothing in common at all in this juncture of their lives

“I didn’t invite you to come in, I just asked if you wanted to” Peyton is so weird but I kind of want to marry her. Is this what Lucas feels like

Lucas’s economic status is really part of Brooke’s romance criteria at the age of 17 they teach the bourgeois early huh

Oh my god I cannot BELIEVE Jake recommended Atlas Shrugged to Lucas jhjhgjhgjh the undertones of this basketball show really are about capitalism

HAHAHAH Nathan’s word being “revenge” calm down Sasuke Uchiha

I haven’t said so yet but Haley is so very endearing she’s great

God. Lucas turning around to reveal to Dan that he’s cast away his name. HE is that bitch

Ghjkghjkgh Keith hissing at the rude Boosters mum. Love of my life

“Maybe he’s gay” “No, I think he’s just nice” who writes this dumbass show

“Do you even care that it’s slipping away” maybe it’s because I went away for university but the idea that someone is this deeply invested in their kid’s high school basketball career is. A lot

Nathan simultaneously trying to bother Lucas and pass English while about to fall in love: I can multitask!!!

Update: He also managed to trash Lucas’s favourite basketball court somehow in all his business. He really can multitask!

“If it makes you feel any better I called some woman a bitch the other day” [giggle] I love Karen and Lucas’s relationship

Haley is such a good friend to Lucas and hoo boy Nathan when do you grow a conscience

“You’re both so broody. You could brood together” that’s it, that’s Peyton and Lucas

These emails and VCR references are really dating this show

Nathan is a straight up sociopath in these early eps my god he humiliates Lucas publicly twice at this party and just pops over to Haley like “Hey cutie :) Idk why Lucas is so mad :) I’m rlly nice :)”

Nathan really taking his girlfriend’s car to hit on another woman how much of a crapbag

As soon as I said this he (drunk?) drove her car into a streetlight my god 

Deb and Karen having a nice lesbian coffee shop AU would be a pleasant turn in this show instead of literally anything that happens in either of their narratives

“Why would you even go there” “Because I loved getting dumped on” That is... accurate

“I’ll call you when you’re not so PMS” said Nathan, when his (ex) girlfriend rightfully lambasted him for crashing her car

I take it back Peyton and Nathan do have one thing in common it’s their disregard for traffic laws

HELL YEAH Keith IS your dad Lucas <3 <3 <3 <3 

Whitey talks a lot of shit for someone who advised Dan to abandon Luke 

I had been wondering why Lucas had the Scott name when Dan is such an ephemeral piece of shit and I guess there’s my answer thanks Karen 

Does Haley ever find out about the shit Nathan pulled at the party I feel like these are relevant details in her budding affection

“Dad send you to spy on me? Poison my drink?” This is the second time in two episodes Deb has been accused of being Dan’s spy I wonder if she still considers that a red flag 17 years into marriage

“One of the boys doesn’t have a father” BUUUUURN Dan

Rhkgjhgjkh the last moment of this scene:

Keith: There is enough room in my heart for each of my brother’s mistreated sons even the rude ones Nathan

Nathan, experiencing a split second of paternal love: :O

Ghkjghkjgh the Scott bonding in hatred of Dan continues with Lucas asking Nathan if he too would like to spite Dan:

Lucas: You will be receiving your “I Hate Dan Scott” Club invitation in the mail shortly Nathan, mom, Uncle Keith and I hold meetings biweekly

Nathan: Biweekly as in every two weeks or twice a week 

Lucas: Both! See you on Tuesday

“Does this mean we’re dating” yes it does the mixed CD is emo code

“Good luck with your game” “yeah, you too, Ma” hehehehe

Someone revoke this college medic’s license hoo boy

Ghjghkgh Lucas keeping his money tucked into his boxers what a doofus

I can’t believe Nathan and Lucas’s second big bonding moment is threatening dudes while in their boxers after beating on each other what a brotherly bond lmao

Okay but highkey if ur a lady and ur friends are gonna leave you alone and vulnerable at night get new friends

“I can live without my shirt” Nathan is thirteen shades of petty lmaooo

Dan is such a bad (abusive) father that Nathan literally would prefer to have none at all my god 

“Can I tell you a secret? I pretended too” just get marrrried 

“Thanks for cutting Lucas some slack” talk about accepting the bare minimum Haley kjhgkjhgkj

Brooke is really unbearable in this episode is it any wonder her, Lucas and Peyton’s relationship is as dysfunctional as it will soon become 

Hoo boy the one (1) time Nathan doesn’t do something douchey and he gets blamed for it 

LMAO @ Lucas approaching the one girl at this school with commitment issues with a bold “I wanna be here [in your heart]” hahaha

“Yeah, they can have their world,” said Lucas to Haley, about the two people they would literally go on to marry

The fact that Peyton doesn’t turn off her webcam and just covers it also really speaks to the era

This Gabe dude is really ready to assault a minor like he’s not just a r*pist he’s also a predator double KO 

It is not lost upon me that it looks like one pill has been popped out before so he is also a serial r*pist big fucking yikes

“What, you got a cellphone too, dawg? Things sure have changed” also quite dated hahahaha

They really went out of the way to redeem Brooke not only did she give Nathan and Haley a very very cute date she also saved her friend from being assaulted

“So you don’t have any brothers, do you” jhgkhgkhg Brooke please 

“Why are you only nice to me when we’re alone” a very legitimate question Haley

Nathan’s dating methodology: There’s nothing in life that can’t be solved with make-outs

Deb is really so nice but every time I look at her I think of her drinking a lot and sleeping with Nathan’s friends lmao

Haha that North Carolina sign explains the mild Southern accents 

Aieeeeeeeeeee you kiss that man and follow your dreams Karen

Even if Nathan is still A Lot this season him and Haley are so cute:

Haley, smiling: We can’t do this here right now

Nathan, giggling: We just did

Lucas says more to Dan by constantly leaving with a look of disgust than any words ever could

“My heart’s racing too. That’s what happens when I’m around you. (And on drugs. I’m very unstable Haley.)”

Lucas and Nathan’s very intentional “pressure from your dad” and “you don’t know anything about my dad” bc Lucas will not acknowledge that Senor Crabag Sr. is anything resembling a father bless 

Drunk tattoos with crush’s bff Lucas has decided to make all mistakes at once and I respect it

Poor Keith he is trying his best but Lucas just chose this week to hit his rebellious phase

YESSSSSSSSSS DEB KICK THAT ASS OUT OF THIS HOUSE

“Do you really think that Nathan would choose you over me” uh???? Are you not aware you are... the worst father in town

Brooke you were fully aware of Peyton and Lucas’s vibing and actively pursued him/interfered so you have no moral high ground to be like “:) I’d never choose a boy over my friendship”

Skillz and Mouth accurate “hoo boy don’t look” when ur friends start PDA

“Mom doesn’t want things to get back to normal, she wants them to be better” hell yeah Nathan gaining emotional intelligence

Lucas quit projecting your childhood issues onto Jake he too is a child let him decide how he wants to live Jenny’s 6 months old not like she’s gonna remember lmao

Damn Nathan LET LOOSE on Dan fuck that dude

JGFHJGFJGFJH I forgot Gavin Degraw had a cameo hahahahah

Did Luke.......... break into Jake’s house. His parents work at night how was he able to get into Jake’s coffee table

“You do not have to feel like a third wheel” The pure dumbass energy.... Peyton is literally CRYING do u really think her issue is “third wheel” you KNOW she and Lucas had a thing Brooke???????

Me watching this team form a brotherly bond over their mutual love of basketball: Mayhaps sports are... good 

Hahahaha Lucas threatening Peyton’s dad with a rake is weirdly endearing

“Hey you.” “Hey you, and you,” is a good summary of this seasons Brooke/Lucas/Peyton dynamic lmao

Why is Dan’s head... shaped that away. It is like a bar of soap

“I don’t mind you playing ‘Daddy’ to one of my offspring, but leave the good one alone, will you?” Dan. Meet me in the Denny’s parking lot at midnight and we’ll have words

“The whole Nice Guy thing is wearing kind of thin” foreshadowing for all the dick moves Lucas is about to pull lmao

“He’s got you skipping school now?” “Lucas talk to me when you get your tattoo removed”

Lucas:

Lucas is such a meddler lmao how many family dynamics is he going to alter

I don’t trust Dan being nice for a minute all he wants is the upper hand with Deb in the inevitable custody battle over Nathan

Props to Nathan and Haley for somehow, some way, being the only normal couple on this show despite their incredibly dubious origins lmao

Scott family dinners are bananas I count four (4) major revelations and they haven’t even revealed that Deb and Dan are separated

Lucas and Peyton are really hitting every fictional couple trope in this ep - road trip, bed sharing, hurt/comfort, truly the YA bases 

“The truth? In this house?” Props to Deb for drama lmao 

Brooke saying ‘I love you’ you’ve been dating for like two episodes but okay kjhgkjhg

I can’t say I understand Nathan’s logic lmao but I guess they have to bring him back to basketball sometime

Wow Lucas zero hesitation on that second kiss lmao u r a mess

This scene is the definition of “that escalated quickly” they go straight to undressing 

HAHAHAH NATHAN BEING SHIRTLESS IN HALEY’S DREAM FOR NO REASON 10/10 TEENAGE ACCURACY

“How do you explain being with me and not her?” “Because with you, I saw a future” that’s Dan code for ‘I’m a gold digger’

You’re literally macking on Peyton in the middle of the hallway while you’re dating the other most popular girl in school Lucas how are you this ridiculous and bold BREAK UP WITH BROOKE U DUMBASS

“So what are we going to do” I’ll tell you what you should do BREAK UP WITH BROOKE

Keith it is still daylight out stop bringing alcohol into this high school you have a drinking problem

“Can’t control love, you know?” THAT’S NOT ADVICE LUCAS BREAK UP WITH BROOKE

I really can’t handle watching Keith and Lucas self-destruct this episode how is Nathan the only Scott in a happy, healthy relationship

“You know that this is... wrong, so that makes it feel... deeper?” Lucas asks, as if he were not entirely in the wrong by carrying on with Peyton (who is not in a relationship) while dating Brooke

“I don’t want to hurt Brooke,” he said, about to start his third secret cheating makeout session of the week

“But then again our spouses aren’t here are they” [Deb opens door] COMEDIC TIMING

Gjjhgkjhg Nathan revealing his messed up intentions with Haley entirely by accident Scotts have no self-control whatsoever it’s their kekkei genkai

Lucas evading responsibility for his romance crimes by literally dying

Hahahah Karen’s confused vibes at Brooke are kind of the highlight of this episode 

How funny would it be if Lucas woke up to Karen scolding him about his tattoo

Hahahaha for such dysfunctional partners Nathan and Peyton are excellent exes 

AHHHHHHHHH LUCAS WAKING UP TO HIS BROTHER... MY HEART

Keith rlly was gonna propose after zero (0) days of dating I’m telling you no self-control is truly the Scott clan kekkei genkai

Ahhhh bless Karen’s compassion 

Dan is literally blackmailing his son into staying in his custody he is in Deb’s words an “abusive son of a bitch”

Fucking finally Lucas ends this sham of a relationship with Brooke

It’s wild that Nathan is the only Scott with a happy and healthy romantic relationship 

Nathan divorcing his parents is a real power move 

I’m glad Haley announced Sheryl Crow’s name because let me tell you I would not have recognized her on sight

“How’s my daughter” Lucas really chooses exclusively to hook up with people who have devastating emotional consequences for his immediate friend group huh

“Funny I didn’t know you were forgiving at all” Lmao Peyton is that really the position you’re going to take after cheating with your best friend’s boyfriend 

All the deodorant product placement lmao ‘this ep sponsored by Secret’ 

All things considered I think Lucas is handling Haley’s constant ditching p well 

Bfhkghghjg Keith buying a new shirt just to go to dinner with Karen stop

OH MY GOD THE EP REALLY WAS SPONSORED BY SECRET IT’S GOT SECRET ON THE CHEER COMPETITION BANNERS AND A LITTLE GIFT BAG RANDOMLY IN ALL THE CHEERLEADER CONFRONTATIONS JKGHKJGH

The comedic timing of “hungover idiots” panning to Karen and Larry kills me

“She used to be this totally original.... Haley” what does this mean????

I don’t think Nathan and Haley are being entirely fair to Lucas bc he was only a dick once she ditched him twice (or thrice?) in one weekend 

This boy toy auction as a concept is so inappropriate on so many levels

“I get Nathan for free” Fhjkfhkfjh Haley pls

God I was so very concerned about whether or not Nathan and Peyton were gonna kiss 

“You’re not a mess, you’re just in love” [Ole Del Paso Girl voice] Why not both?

“She’s nine months old, just in case you forgot” to be fair I assume Nikki gave birth so she would remember that you can’t hold that one over her 

It must take Lucas some mental disconnect to assume Peyton and Nathan are cheating when he also kissed Haley

Fhjfhkjfhjfh Keith fulfilling my fave trope of ‘we are not even dating but how about we get married bc we’ve been repressed in love for years’

“You know I asked your mom to get an abortion,” said Dan, to his literal son

I really can’t figure where this pregnancy storyline is going bc I know Brooke doesn’t have a baby

Nathan and Haley really need to consider oral or smth there’s a middle ground between making out and having vaginal sex

“It all hurts just the same” Brooke really out here trying to say that cheating is in any way equivalent to faking a pregnancy (even if only for a week)

Peyton and Brooke are way more invested in each other than Lucas 

“I got you a high five” Hahahhaa I love Peyton 

Gary like: Wow Nathan it’s humanizing that your father is an abusive dick

“Maybe this is the one that changed him” Lucas joining Dan as the second and only non-Dan member of the Dan Scott Apologism Club

It’s wholly unreasonable that Haley expects her boyfriend not to look at p*rn lmao

I love all this Lucas and Nathan bonding but I hate that it comes at the cost of Dan being near them at all u stay away from those boys u manipulative fuck

Ah the foreshadowing about Peyton changing in front of her webcam finally pays off

I’m no legal expert but I don’t think that taking your daughter out of state will help you in the custody battle in the long term Jake - nor will dropping out of high school

“What do I get out of it” r u 4 real Keith u dont get payment for loving your family

“I’m leaving because I can’t look at you anymore without my heart breaking” I like you Keith but that sounds like a You Problem

This is a fun way to shoot this episode One Tree Hill has such good directing tbh

Nathan discarding the Scott name from his jersey just like Lucas did in ep 2: 

Haley: Having sex will solve all of my problems Nathan what are you talking about

I remembered that at some point Deb and Keith have sex and I’m glad they fuck things up early bc I could not deal if it was later on

“I’ll miss you too, little brother” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

KJKGHKJHGJHKJHGKJHKJ I CAN’T BELIEVE NATHAN AND HALEY GOT MARRIED JUST TO HAVE SEX THIS IS WHY THEY DON’T LET PEOPLE YOUNGER THAN 18 VOTE