#-specific detail as what i've coined in

[katyspersonal]

[anachronismstellar]

DOES SQH SLEEP WITH WITH A MONK PEAK LORD???

IT'S CALLED SQH GOTTA GET THEM ALL, MY FRIEND, OF COURSE HE DOES

Sorry it took me so long, had to do a bit of research that turned out to be a lot of research BUT HERE YOU GO

I got the name Gao Qinggao from the amazing 00janeblonde and their FAQ of their fic here

Heads up for me bullshiting a lot of things Airplane style lol

Also bondage and praise kink?

I hope y'all like it!

---------

Ku Xing Peak wasn't one of the most prestigious among its siblings, far from it. If one compared it to the beauty of Qing Jing, the forests of the Scholary Mountain would be greener than emeralds. Or if one searched for riches and luxury, they would have better luck going to Xian Shu Peak, Qi Qingqi sparing no coin to accommodate her disciples.

But if they were allowed to take pride in something, it would be their talismans. From the most basic trick like heating water to the most intricate barriers and bindings, their work had been a reference throughout the cultivation world. If there was a talisman, they would have been involved in either its creation or its improvement.

So imagine what a surprise it was to see the An Ding Peak Lord using talismans Gao Qinggao had never seen before.

First, he thought it was an artifact. Shang-Shixiong was close friends with higher peaks, thus being able to pull favors and acquire relics he would never dream to see. The problem with that theory is that he had seen his own surprised mirrored on Shen Qingqiu's and Zhangmen-Shixiong faces as Shang Qinghua took a folded paper from his sleeve and pressed it into the table. It grew in size until it occupied the entire top of it with a huge map, detailed descriptions of the regions, and topography showing next to the main locations. It would be difficult, and it would take a lot of effort, but this effect could be done with a mixture of talismans after modifying certain radicals.

What made him pause was that, during their talk Mu-Shixiong asked about a specific place and Shang-Shixiong just put his both hands over it, dragging them away from each other making the map focus more and more until they could see the vegetation and when they were finished Shang-Shixiong dragged his hands again but closer, making the map to go back to it's original level of detail.

That would be mixing two types of talismans that shouldn't work together, you can't have one without nullifying the other and-

Gao Qinggao was intrigued.

The technique was interesting, yes, but it wasn't his area of expertise. He had always been a more practical person, focusing his studies on suppression of energy and Qi restoration. Meaning, he could just brush it off and send one of his disciples to ask about it later.

But the fact that he could just ask and understand was a compelling argument.

"Shixiong used a very unique technique today at the meeting. I had never seen someone use talismans to make images show up like that," he approached the other when he had finally left Shen Qingqiu's side. "This one is very interested in learning how Shang-Shixiong did that."

"Oh er," Shang Qinghua blinked, fiddling with the folded paper on his hand before hiding it away. "This little thing? Uh. I don't know if- Uh, I don't know the technique, I just found it- yea! I found it in ah. Oh I don't remember but-"

"Oh?" He wouldn't deny he was a bit disappointed, but not surprised. "Do you mind if I borrow it for research? I've never seen talismans interacting like that, I know some disciples that would be delighted to see it as well."

Shang-Shixiong started to fidget, picking on his sleeve where the paper had been hidden, looking everywhere, but Gao Qinggao.

"I'd love to, really, but this is kinda vital for my peak? I'm afraid I can't lend it. It has got all the trading information and our suppliers, I can't risk it."

"I understand. Would Shixiong allow one of my disciples to go to An Ding to examine it then?"

"I'm afraid the information is too sensitive to be examined by someone outside Lord ranking and-"

Ah. He almost heard the sound of a coin dropping.

He was a bit younger than the others, coming to his position by an urgency of appointing someone to fill his master's place. Not to say he wasn't competent, far from it, but he was aware that his situation and age made the other peak lords underestimate him, or dismiss his opinion when the topic diverted from talismans.

Another disadvantage of his age: he hadn't had the time to mellow down; to reign his fury as expected from a monk. He was no Liu Qingge, of course, but with enough pressure...

"This one apologies for bothering Shang-Shixiong." He spit through clenched teeth, making a point of leaving without a bow, his breathing so labored that one could hear it all the way from the demon realm.

How dared Shang Qinghua hide this knowledge from him?! From his peak?! And what was the point of hiding it anyway? Wouldn't be wise to share it so they could improve it?

Maybe Shang Qinghua was using something forbidden. But there were layers upon layers of protective arrays in the meeting room. The smallest fizzle of demon energy would set off the alarms.

So there must be another reason for Shang-Shixiong to not let him at least look at the desing. Could it be- No.

Did Shang Qinghua think he couldn't learn it?

Ooooh, that just made him more furious.

It might be difficult, but now that Gao Qinggao knew it was possible, he would be able to replicate somehow. His Head disciple could handle the next weeks by themselves, he would grab all the books and parchments they had about redimensioning images, also the ones they had about crystal mirrors and how they were made.

Then he would rub it off Shang Qinghua's face. And maybe spend two weeks in inertia to balance all the spite and anger he was feeling.

---------

It didn't work.

Gao Qinggao laid on his private quarters with piles of papers around him, some crumbled up, others torn into pieces. Blessed be the Heavens that he had never minded being under inertia for long periods of time, because he couldn't remember the last time he ate.

Every single attempt he had made, failed.

Not for his lack of knowledge, he could see where the logic behind it, but it was if the structure kept dancing in front of him, fluttering away like a bird as soon as he reached to grasp it.

Where in all realms had Shang Qinghua found this technique?! Maybe in the Demon Realm? But none of the books that they collected from there had anything like it.

To put it mildly, he was furious.

He was starting to consider that Shang Qinghua was the one who wrote it, and his handwriting was so atrocious he created something without intention. The problem with this is that one, he hadn't seen the talisman close enough to see if it was Shang-Shixiong's handwriting. Second, it was impossible for him to have created it accidentally, the amount of contradictions and spells that had to be put on the paper, on top of using the right ink for it...

He just needed to look at it. Just to look to have a direction to where to start.

He put everything away and stood up, dusting his clothes, calling for a bath even though it was the middle of the night.

He was going to An Ding.

----

"You are a good person, and you will be an amazing Lord, Gao Qinggao," his old master said while passing the Peak Lord robes to him, the soft brown and gray so plain one wouldn't recognize him as a high cultivator outside the Peaks. "Just promise me you will work on your temper."

And he had promised, with heavy heart and aware that would be an ever losing task. He had done his best over the years and had made progress.

But not enough it seemed.

"I have all night, Shidi, and we know I'm more patient than you."

Gao Qinggao ignored the voice across the room, testing the bindings around his wrist as he controlled his breathing. When he had flew to An Ding and tried to sneak inside Shang-Shixiong's house, he wasn't exactly thinking. All he could remember was his blood boiling, eyes seeing red while his mind kept going on and on and on that he was doing this for the good of the Sect, that Shang-Shixiong was the one in the wrong for keeping secrets, that he was just going to look that's all.

He failed to consider that a man with secrets like Shang Qinghua wouldn't survive this long if he weren't good at keeping other people away.

"Shidi," Shang Qinghua gave him a tired sigh that Qinggao ignored to focus on more important things such as at least getting his hands free. "If Shidi doesn't talk to me, I have no way to help you."

He kept his mouth shut. To be honest he didn't even know what to say. He had no plan, he just wanted to take a look at the map! Frustration burned his face red, showing up in blotches that went all the way up his shaved head.

"Very well, Shidi. Let's do it your way then."

He glanced at Shang Qinghua, but a second later the other peak lord left his line of sight. There was the sound of a chair dragging through the floor, then callous fingers grabbed both of his wrists, the thumb pressing against his pulse.

It was as if Shang Qinghua had dropped snow water down his spine, the array drawn on the ground shinning for a second or two before the was released. He felt his body sag, his quick reflexes barely saving him from falling on his face.

"Now, Shidi, this is a very simple array, one that you know very well, I believe," Shang Qinghua dragged the chair again, this time sitting in front of Gao Qinggao, elbows on his thighs, the low light playing shadows on his face, turning his expression somber.

Gao Qinggao couldn't help but shiver, dread tickling down his neck and chest, realizing that he might have entered the tiger's den. And once more, he was hit with a mix of feelings towards the other man. He couldn't help the anger bubbling under his skin, forcing him to slam the barrier with his open hand, all in vain. But at the same time-

At the same time.

His mouth felt dryer than a desert. He exposed like an open wound as Shang Qinghua stared at him up and down and then up again, the usual bubbly and warm expression nowhere to be seen. No, that face he had seen only a handful of times, either when the Sect Leader was about to do something stupid to protect Shen Qingqiu, or when the peak lords were not behaving during peak meetings.

To be under the entire focus of it felt as if the rest of the world grew quieter, a little darker, the lights clinging to Shang Qinghua as if he were glowing with unreleased power.

"A simple truth array, but I bound you to it, so you may not leave." Shang Qinghua's low voice reverberated in the tiny room, their faces separated only by the shimmery wall. "As you have decided to be difficult, I have decided it was time for you to be a bit more truthful."

"How dare you demand truths when you are the one holding back secrets!" He couldn't help but shout, unable to hold back in face of such hypocrisy.

Like clouds parting after heavy rain, Shang Qinghua’s face relaxed, his whole posture softening up to his usual friendly self. He groaned, his deep sleepy voice waking up something in Gao Qinggao's belly, making him blush for another reason entirely.

"Oh Gao-shidi," he kept his voice down, followed by a chuckle. "Is this still about the map?"

His amusement only fanned the ember of his anger, making it burn brighter. How dare Shang Qinghua mock him? How dare he laugh at him like a cruel demon trapping Gao Qinggao and treating him like a play thing?

"Of course it is! You denied my single request for you while raining gifts to all the other lords! I'm tired of bland favoritism, my peak and I might live a frugal life, but aren't we also requested to share our precious knowledge?!"

He had been so worked up he didn't realize the moment Shang Qinghua shifted his feet, ready to pounce, releasing the array but grabbing Gao Qinggao hands once more, twisting his arms to bind them against his chest.

"You're a feisty one, I've forgotten that," he commented as he slowly lowered Qinggao on the floor, making him kneel, the sound of paper followed by the dry sensation of it on his legs making him flinch. He struggled for a few moments, giving up as soon as Shang Qinghua gave him another chuckle.

He was truly trapped.

"Tell me shidi, what is upsetting you? The fact that you were denied something you took for granted as yours or the fact that you haven't been praised for your contributions to the Sect?"

He was rendered speechless, the fire in his belly almost an inferno, his breath picking up but not in anger. He couldn't hold back a gasp, shame and desire clashed upon him as he felt stripped naked by how easily Shang-Shixiong had seen him.

"Is that it then? Praise?" Shang Qinghua started to walk around him, humming as he touched the back of his robes, fixing the sleeve that had slipped down his shoulder, inked fingers brushing over his clavicle. "Gao-shidi has been so good for us. So kind to share his talents."

He felt paralyzed, hands closed in a tight fist, desperate to cover his face, to hide his shame, unable to move. He was pinned down by burning brown eyes, the light reflecting on them, turning them into gold. It had been years, so many years since he had felt so stricken by desire. And to be hit full force with his sultry voice was- was unexpected, that's all!

"This Shixiong apologies for denying your request. You've been one of the most valuable resources for our Sect, you should be told how good you have been."

"W-What?"

"You're such a good craftsman, Gao-shidi, your talismans are without flaws. I can release you and show you a few of my own."

He didn't mean for the low soft "Please" to leave his mouth, not even sure anymore of what he was asking for. Yes he desperatly wanted to see the talismans, but he was also desperate to feel Shang-Shixiong touch him, somewhere, anywhere, just to do something, take responsibility for setting off this fire on him!

"... Unless you prefer to stay like that?" Shang Qinghua's asked as he touched Gao Qinggao's cheek, brushing his fingers along his jaw so he could tilt Qinggao's face up. "Bound by talismans you can't break?"

"Oh heavens-" he moaned, truly moaned as he closed his eyes, wishing for any Gods that might hear him to swallow him whole when he noticed the damp spot on his pants.

"It's okay shidi," Shang Qinghua's hands went down his neck, fingers brushing the sensitive skin of his shoulders, sliding under his robes. "We can work on your patience as we go."

------------------

do I feel slightly blasphemous for writing this? Yes

Do I believe that this is what Airplane would have wanted? Abso-fucking-lutely

And as we can see I'm upping my rating as we go fjsbskdnskfm not full explicit but maybe,,,,,,,,,,,, who knows

Thank you so much for the ask and for giving this a read!! :D

Here is the masterpost of this insane AU asdhfiusdh

6/12 peak lords, Wine Peak here I gooooo!

[gh0stsp1d3r]

- anon

https://www.tumblr.com/gh0stsp1d3r/756767107351543808/aemond-just-loves-to-pull-your-hair-an-were?source=share

just was doing my daily skim of tumblr and refreshed the "Aemond Targaryen x reader" tag and oh!! when i came across your little headcanons/drabble (please bare w/ me🙏 i forget what form of writing that's called) i immediately liked and came to request when you left that note at the end asking for request of his "fine ahh" so i've come up w/ an idea x

Aemond and his hands, specifically his fingers, how would he react to fem!reader having a fascination w/ them (after seeing him play w/ that coin, picking up the marble ball and coin!! moving his hair out of the way...)? like reader staring at and day-dreaming about his long, slim but just enough girth, fingers and her always wanting to hold onto his wrists or intertwine her fingers w/ his and compare the size of their hands?? maybe an oral fixation w/ how reader sucks at his fingers, swirling her tongue around as they lay heavy on the wet muscle?? dom!Aemond might be easier to write for (canon!character wise), but for this request if you're able to do switch!Aemond that'd be appreciated x

maybe some fingering, consensual!voyeurism (reader watching him masturbate as he drags his deft fingers up & down his length, forming an o shape with his hand as she controls when he's allowed to cum – edging and overstimulation?? – and he's letting out small, breathy gasps and slipping in and out of high-valyrian), just realised how slutty this is omg?? sorry!! i just prefer adding detail so writers like you have an easier time writing out requests because i understand how annoying writers block is x

ℋ𝒶𝓃𝒹𝓈

A/n: OH MY ANON YOU READ MY MIND BECAUSE THIS IS AMAZING AND I LOVE EVERH SECOND OF IT. I wanna kiss ur brain right now. His hands r so 😩 ily for this request.!

Warnings: hand kink, oral fixation, a lil bit ooc but whatever, switch!aemond, switch!reader, male masturbation, overstimulation, sub! aemond my love . Also im terrible at writing sub characters so pls forgive me !!

MASTERLIST

divs by plutism + strangergraphics

Your secret fascination with his hands had been going on for as long as you could possibly remember. No matter what he did, you found yourself staring at them.

As Layrs Strong sat with you and your husband, you found yourself positioned across from the man, and next to your husband. Aemond held a stone ball in his hand, the king's marker, as he leaned back in his seat, rolling the stone ball between his digits.

Your eyes were practically glued onto his hands, watching his fingers roll the ball around, the important discussion that they were having already tuned out in your mind.

And when he fidgeted with the coin, your gaze was fixed on his hands and fingers. It seemed like he couldn't stop fidgeting with the coin, constantly twisting and turning it, taking it wherever he went.

His gaze lifted, and a small smirk played on his lips. He had been feeding into your captivation, idly spinning the coin between his fingers, relishing in the way your eyes were glued to every subtle motion his hand had made.

Even when he did something as simple as moving his long hair out of his face, you found your gaze moving from his face to his veiny hands.

He noticed it, of course he did. He knew you like no other did at this point.

He first saw it when your own hands were always intertwined with his, always feeling the need to be close, you told him. But he suspected it was for another reason.

He saw it with your delicate touch on his wrist, your fingers lightly grazing his skin.

His suspicions were confirmed when you placed your hand on top of his, subtly comparing the difference in finger lengths without uttering a word about it. A faint smile appeared on his face as he interlocked his fingers with yours.

Now, he was just playing with your obsession. It was utterly adorable in his mind.

As he sat on the bed, his fingers flippjng to the next page of a book. Meanwhile, you had just got out from a bath, clad in a delicate nightgown draped over your body.

You walked over to the bed, he glanced over at you. He smiled softly, you gave him a small smile back, moving and going underneath the covers. Your gaze fell once again, onto his hands, turning the pages every once in a while. He noticed this, sly smile on his face as he shut the book with one hand.

He sighed, moving to sit up. You quirked an eyebrow at him, confused. He turned to you, looking at you with his head tilted to the side.

“I can see you’ve become rather fascinated with my hands,” he spoke, his words making your eyes widen and your mouth fall agape.

“What?” You questioned, and he couldn’t suppress the chuckle that came out of his mouth when he saw your eyes look around the room, nervously avoiding his question.

“Don’t play dumb, wife.” He spoke, his voice low, looking down at you. You swallowed, thinking for a response before his hand gripped your jaw gently, rough hands on your soft skin.

His thumb traced over your bottom lip, you looked up at him as you opened your mouth. He had a smug smirk on his face, putting his thumb that was on your bottom lip into your mouth. His hands suddenly left your jaw, and he replaced his thumb with his index and middle finger, your hands going to grip his wrist.

With a smile still on his face, he thrusted his fingers in and out of your mouth, enjoying the gagging he heard when he hit the reflex. His fingers stopped for a moment, and you swirled your tongue around his digits, him letting out a satisfied hum as he pulled them out of your mouth.

He tugged off his boxers, thankful that he always decided to sleep in nothing but them.

He looked up at you again, his fingers moving to his length, letting out a shaky exhale when his hands began to tug at his cock. You had a smile on your face now, putting your hands over his that tugged on his cock.

He let out a low moan, you running your fingers over his hand gently, as he jerked himself off. He leaned over to kiss you. His lips left yours, and he nuzzled his face in your neck, tracing his nose on your jaw.

He let out gasps, and his breathing was getting shallow. You knew he was about to cum, which is why you whispered to him.

“Stop.”

His eyebrows creased with confusion, and he released a noise that sounded like a whine. He looked up at you again, moving from his spot in your neck, his movements stopping, your hand still on the back of his hand, tracing every vein there was.

You looked back at him, and he exhaled through his nose, knowing what you wanted him to do.

“Y/n.” He muttered, voice sounding like a plead. “Please, Kostilus, my love.” He breathed out, his breath hot against your skin.

You smiled, satisfied with his words. You nodded, and he let out a sigh of relief, his hands moving up and down on his length again, kissing along your collarbones, your other hand on the back of his head, running a hand through his soft, silky hair.

“Kirimvose. Kirimvose, love.” He mumbled against your skin, his native language sounding so beautiful coming from his mouth.

You let go of his hands, watching his deft fingers move up and down his length, letting out low groans and grunts of pleasure every once in a while. His head tilted back, and you swear he’s never looked as beautiful as he does now.

His head turns back to you, mouth agape. He looks at you, and you already know what he wants.

You put your hands back on top of his, speeding up his pace. “Cum for me.” You muttered into his ear, that was all he needed. He came all over his stomach and abs, panting heavily and groaning, letting out quiet curses. His hand moved off, but yours did not.

He looked at you again, gently trying to push your hand away, as he was overstimulated from your touch. It had him crying out, the odd feeling.

He cried out your name, when he felt his cock hardening again, and the pressure already back.

Kostilus- please

Kirimvose- thank you.

[lexirosewrites]

Slick sunday!! How I've missed u! I haven't had a lot of inspiration for slick sunday recently bc I moved & have been getting adjusted

Anyway here goes nothing

Omega Steve is who writes a high fantasy book series tht is vaguely popular w a specific crowd of ppl, except it isn't abt the nobles who run the politics of the lands or the heroes tht travel the world he's built, no the main character of his books is the proprietor of a little known inn & tavern located along a little used road who has down on their luck travelers pay for food & bed w tales of their lives no matter how mundane

Alpha Eddie is the author of an extremely popular series of high fantasy books all about a group of adventurers & their efforts to save the world from the clutches of a greedy wizard seeking knowledge beyond mortal ken, its full of political intrigue & battles & magical beasts, his books r even made into an ambitious TV series

Well not everyone is thrilled by the show & it's dismal colors & even more dismal world tht constantly teeters on the brink of collapse & chaos, so then ppl discover Steve's books with its high fantasy setting tht promises just as much magic but with the low stakes of a humble innkeeper asking for stories instead of coin for payment & suddenly Steve's writing is skyrocketing in popularity as ppl grow tired of the gritty world of Eddie's books tht only serves to remind them of the gritty world around them, ppl want to escape their reality for awhile & Steve's books provide a cozy atmosphere w all the joys of fantasy wrapped up in a domestic ribbon

Eddie at first doesn't get it, who would want to read a book series all abt some innkeeper who never leaves their inn for the wider world of adventure? It goes against everything he learned of the heroes journey & what makes a compelling story. Then betrayal of all betrayals!! His best friend Felix (unnamed freak) begins reading the series & even recommended tht Eddie give it a chance. So he begrudgingly begins the first book... and finishes it within three days because he's so reluctant to put it down. He's able to admit tht the writing is good, the world around the innkeeper is detailed & rich in characters, the magic system is unique, & the main character often breaks the fourth wall in a way tht hints at there being more to them then the humble status as an innkeeper.

So when Eddie is invited to speak on a panel at a con abt world building & writing fantasy he instantly advocates for Steve to b invited to speak as well since the convention is happening within the city tht Steve's author bio says is near his home, well Steve is reluctant but eventually agrees when his little red headed sister Max insists he go & bring her along so she can meet the author of her favorite character in her second favorite book series (her favorite is Steve's & she's always proudly telling her friends abt her big brothers books)

Well the panel begins & Steve is dismissed by the gross nerdy fans who barely understand how to shower regularly while they praise Eddie's books for being gritty & full of violence well tht sets Eddie off & he has an 8 minute long monologue abt how Steve's books r amazing & full of richly developed characters & a detailed world & Steve falls a little bit in love w him bc of this

Then the panel continues & the gross nerds r cowed & Steve's fans feel comfortable coming forward w their questions after Eddie's words & they ask all of these questions tht highlight the diverse stories tht Steve has built & one fan asks Steve if he'd ever consider a romance plot for the innkeeper bc there r multiple love stories throughout the series & the fan even cites a few quotes tht shows the main character is partial to love stories & happy to help fleeing lovers or runaway brides/grooms: to which Steve just gives a cryptic answer abt the innkeepers past involving a tragedy

Well the panel ends & Steve thanks Eddie for what he said & Eddie had fallen a little love w Steve too at this point so he asks Steve to dinner & Steve says yes as long as it was OK his kid sister came along as he is her legal guardian as well as brother & she's also a fan of Eddie's books especially the character Bejora who is a fierce spy & skilled mage

Well dinner goes amazing & they exchange numbers & go their separate ways but text almost non stop

Here's a secret no one knew abt Eddie, he'd been dealing with writers block ever since the latest book in his series had come out, lost about where to take the plot now tht his plans to wrap up the series were approaching, he knew how he wanted it to end but he found himself unsure abt how to get there, when one day he just finds himself writing a new character into the story: an unassuming scribe who has been traveling the land collecting oral knowledge of all kinds & writing it down for the first time, who teaches the common classes how to read, & has unwittingly collected a sacred item capable of locating a powerful artifact tht would b decisive of the outcome of the final battle against the evil wizard

Blah blah blah Eddie is obviously inspired by Steve & he begins courting him & this inspires Steve to write a new character into his books who is a weary hero tht is tired of the trials of adventure & wishes to find a new life's mission by working at the tavern by tending to the stable & garden so the hero & innkeeper slowly begin to fall in love culminating in a shy kiss under the stars at the end of the book

Eddie & Steve r mated by the time the same convention they met at asks them to return for a panel just 2 years later, this time abt the fantasy book they co-authored together & what it's like to world build w your spouse & it's at this panel tht they announce Steve is pregnant to loud applause & hearty congratulations from fans

something, something… omega steve showing eddie the beauty of the world and how it’s not all dark and dreary, which ends up affecting his world view and what he writes🥺💕

[jamiepaige]

Constant Companions Closeup #2: NOT QUITE THERE

(also on spotify!)

b-b-back once again

Round two of the Constant Companions Closeups - a series of in-depth dives into the songs off of my latest album, Constant Companions! Yesterday was track one, Dyad - today is track two, Not Quite There, featuring the incomparable telebasher!

This one's a bit of a dark horse relative to the rest of the album, but it may very well be my personal favorite song on the entire thing so dammit let's Yap

---

For the uninitiated, this song pulls heavily from a song off my previous album called Gummyworm, both in vibe and by very directly quoting its synth motif.

Both of these songs deal with two sides of the same emotional coin. I actually don't want to go into too much detail about it - I feel like the lyrics spell things out clearly enough - but I will say this:

When it's all you know, it's easy to believe that a love that isolates you, a love that doesn't respect you, a love that hurts is better than no love at all.

You deserve better. There are always people who genuinely want what's best for you, who want you to feel truly loved. It certainly isn't always easy - it's genuinely good if your interpersonal relationships have a little friction sometimes - but love should make your life brighter.

You deserve a love that's fair.

---

The original version of this song was actually intended to be on Bittersweet alongside Gummyworm. The original concept for that album had a whole heady concept involving duality, songs reflecting each other, the two halves basically being reprisals of each other... Ultimately, I'm glad I scrapped that idea, because it was waaaaaay too much for me to manage after a couple years of barely making music. Maybe I'll revisit it someday though?

The drums on this song are sampled from an Instagram post by Louis Cole, where he's doing this crazy one-handed hi-hat blast by holding a drumstick sideways. I'm a drummer and that shit genuinely scares me a little like i dont know how he does half the things he does its fucked BUT. I bring this up because he's one of my biggest inspirations as a musician! I'm really big on jazz in general, in case my love for spicy chords wasn't enough of an indication, but his specific brand of freaky hyperactive bullshit just does it for me.

Seriously, go watch his band KNOWER play their song Overtime. Absolutely insane performances across the board. also Clown Core

This whole song is really just my attempt at matching some of that hectic jazzy energy with my own style of music, so I figured it only made sense to make it another collab with another musician making delightfully frantic jazz bullshit - the legend herself, telebasher! I really am such a massive fan of her work, and I struggle to think of anyone who plays guitar quite like she does. We previously worked together on another Bittersweet track, Asemic Speech, and her guitar work is a major reason why that song is still one of my favorite I've ever released!! She's just built different like listen to this oh my god!!!!

Lastly, since this song was one of the first written for this entire project... it is admittedly a case of me shoehorning the album's leitmotif in after the fact. It's a little forced when it shows up in the backing vocals! But, the choir of vocal synths during the guitar solo served an additional purpose - my own voice doesn't show up on the album again for another four entire songs, and this would've otherwise been the only song on the entire album that didn't feature any vocal synths. Thus did I attempt to bridge the gap, as it were. Hopefully it makes the final product feel more natural!!

Either way, that's all for today's post.... i think.... which means that tomorrow.... we're gonna rot.... for clout

[sirshiba]

mlp x gf au q&a

hello all !! i'm working on a full informational post regarding specific characters' cutie marks in my au since a LOT of people have been asking about them, but in the meantime i'll answer some questions i've seen in replies/tags/asks! more detailed answers to cutie mark-related questions will be in the full post.

Q: when and how do starfall and little dipper get their cutie marks?

A: starfall gets her cutie mark during the pioneer day episode. little dipper gets his in dipper vs. manliness, which would revolve around his insecurity about being a blank flank instead of his masculinity.

Q: what about primadonna pearl? when does she get her cutie mark?

A: in northwest mansion mystery, most likely.

Q: what's eight ball's real cutie mark?

A: it's a tarot card with gold coins!

Q: wouldn't eight ball's cutie mark be the same as sixfold, because of the whole identity theft thing?

A: it wouldn't really be necessary. most of the townsfolk probably wouldn't recognize sixfold's cutie mark since he was so reclusive while he was at gravity falls. besides, the whole fake cutie mark is part of his whole mr. mystery act, and just sticking with one would ruin the intrigue. he'd probably only paint sixfold's mark over his own if he was visiting family.

Q: why are starfall and little dipper earth ponies while eight ball and sixfold are unicorns?

A: both sets of twins are half earth pony and half unicorn. in this au, hybrids between different pony types will be born as one parent's type (for instance, a child of a pegasus and a unicorn will be either a pegasus or a unicorn, not a mix of both). hybrids may inherit some traits from the other parent, though! that's why eight ball and sixfold are so big and bulky, despite unicorns typically being on the slimmer side.

Q: why did you name wendy windbreaker? doesn't that mean fart?

A: i genuinely wasn't aware of the implications at first. i named her after a type of jacket because her last name is corduroy, as well as "windbreaker" being a weather pun since pegasi control weather patterns. and then many people helpfully informed me that i named her fart. i won't be changing her name, though, so i'm just going to integrate it into her lore. she probably goes by a nickname (maybe windy?) because other ponies at school won't stop making jokes about her full name, and witnessing their bullying is one of the things that makes starfall anxious about growing up.

Q: what's bill's name in this au?

A: i thought about it and i might just call him bill cipher. it'd be funny if everyone else had special pony names and then bill was just... bill.

Q: what about (insert character here)?

A: i'll probably get to them eventually, just be patient!

[that-basic-simp]

Girl With The Wave Tattoo

Mizu X Fem!Reader CW: None WC: 1.5k+

"Hottie alert," my friend tapped me on the back of my arm.

My back was facing the customers as they were coming and going. I was doing my work while my friend was looking at the customers. I should be more specific. The attractive customers.

"If it's another athlete with the typical body, I am not turning around."

"No, it's your kind of hottie."

"If this is another prank I swear I am going to--" I immediately shut up as I was face to face with someone who was indeed my kind of hottie.

They were tall, tall for a woman. Or at least they appeared to be a woman. It was kind of hard to tell as they were wearing cargo joggers with high-top Converse and a white tank top. There was a long chain necklace with the sword as a pendant. Finally, to top off their appearance, they had orange tinted glasses covering their eyes and a bun on the top of their head. Running up both of their arms was a sleeve tattoo of what looked to be water in the traditional Japanese art style. Similar to that of the Great Wave.

"W-What can I get for you today?" I asked.

"What kind of tea do you have?" they asked, in a bit of a raspy voice.

"We have all kinds ranging from green, black, oolong. You name it, we probably have it."

"Do you by chance have any hot matcha green tea?"

"W-We do."

"Can I get that in a large?"

"Yes. Name for the order?"

"Mizu."

"Alright. That'll be about 500 yen."

Mizu handed me a small coin and I took it from them.

"It should be out soon."

"Thanks," they walked towards the counter and waited for me to make the drink.

"So, what do you think?" my friend leaned over and asked me, whispering in my ear.

"I don't know about this one."

"What do you mean?"

"Their appearance. I can't tell if they're, you know."

"Nondescript?"

"In a sense. The bun isn't helping, but their eyes," I turned to face them.

They were reading something on their phone. As I looked closely, which is an odd feature to stare at, their fingers were thin and slender to be a man's. I mean, depending on the man, they can be long and slender. But they looked oddly feminine for someone who is trying to be neither gender. Or maybe one more so than the other. It's hard to tell. But it didn't matter. They were attractive.

"Did you at least get their name?"

"Mizu," I whispered, not wanting to confuse them with thinking their order was ready.

"Interesting name."

"I think so. Unique."

I finished making the tea for Mizu and I set it on the counter.

"Mizu?" I called out their name.

Their head picked up and they walked over to me, grabbing the cup.

"Thanks," they said, placing a couple pieces of yen in the tip jar.

"Have a nice day."

They smiled before turning around, walking off towards the door. The chime of the bell rang as the door opened.

"Is this the first time you've seen them?"

"Here?"

"Yeah."

"I've seen them in this area. I think they work at a tattoo parlor just down the road."

"Huh, interesting."

"Thinking about giving them a visit?"

"Maybe not like instantly. I think I'll give it a bit and see if they come around again."

"If you want to know that answer, talk to Ise. She hears and sees everything that goes on here."

"She doesn't come in until three, doesn't she?"

"Yes, but if text her and say you need details on one customer, she'll be here in a flash."

"I kind of don't want to because I'd rather talk to her when she's scheduled to be here."

"Suit yourself. Oh, Mr. Watari is here again. Be careful."

"I'm heading into the pantry then."

"To do what?"

"Hide from him."

After waiting a few hours, Ise came in and that was when my friend dropped the bomb on her and she came rushing over to me, excited and happy as a clam. If she was a dog, her tail would be wagging so fast she could fly off into the clouds.

"I heard you want to know something about someone."

"Mizu. I was told they work at a tattoo parlor."

"Mizu is a woman. When she's out in public or when she's in the tattoo place, she binds her chest."

"Why's that?"

"Bad history with another work place where they would only hire her if she was more masculine."

"That's backwards."

"It was."

"Is there anything else you know about her?"

"Other than she can rock two arm sleeve tattoos and make it look attractive, no. That's really it."

"Alright," I sighed.

"Why? Are you interested in her?"

"I mean, I thought I was."

"Y/N, everyone here knows you prefer women over men."

"I guess I was just ready to open the door to Mizu if she was in fact a guy. I just didn't want to jump to conclusions when I wasn't able to tell."

"You wouldn't be the first. People here had issues with her."

"Why's that?"

"She was a regular here before you started working with us. That was when she was a bit more feminine presenting. But when she started changing into what we see her normally wear, she went into the bathroom one day. It was also before we changed it to be single stalls instead of multiple. She went in to use the restroom and a mother and her young child came out, screaming at us for allowing Mizu into the bathroom. The mother thought Mizu was a man, and when explaining it to her that she is biologically female, the mother did not believe her. You'll never believe what Mizu said to the woman."

"What?"

"'Want to check yourself?'"

I almost dropped over, both Ise and my friend laughing.

"The mother was so disgusted, saying that she was being assaulted now by what Mizu said. The police got involved and after some extensive and some invasive work on Mizu, they deemed she was in fact a woman. The mother still didn't believe it."

"I feel bad for Mizu," I said.

"We all did. So whenever she comes in here, which isn't as often as before, we give her a discount on her entire order. She doesn't know that and the other customers don't know it either."

"It's hard to believe that she doesn't know."

"I'm sure she does. But she hasn't said anything about it. Although, she does tip generously."

"I think she's making it up for the many times you discounted her order."

"We just all felt bad for her and what she had to go through. Oh! I know. You should do something for her."

"What?"

"Yeah. She's going to be coming here in a few days."

"How do you know that?"

"Ise is able to track people's schedules," my friend said.

"No, I just know that Mizu is going to be tattooing a friend of mine. She comes in here whenever she has to tattoo someone."

"So I take it she was tattooing someone today."

"Yes. This is my friend's first session," Ise said. "She'll be going back in a few days to do the second session."

"I see. What should I do for Mizu?"

"Chocolate can't go wrong," my friend said.

"But she does like tea," Ise said. "When my friend goes to get her tattoos done, Mizu is always drinking tea. Mostly hot tea."

I nodded my head, "I see."

A few days had gone by and when the day Mizu was going to be making another return, I was ready. I didn't want to come off as stalkerish, which was why I had to make this perfect. When the bell rang, I picked my head up and found Mizu walking to the counter.

"Same as before?" I asked.

"How do you know?" Mizu looked at me with suspicion.

"Your order stands out."

"Does it?"

"You're the only one who orders the hot matcha green tea," I said.

"Out of all the customers here?" she perked an eyebrow.

I nodded my head, "Most people here enjoy coffee. You're the only tea person."

"Huh. I see."

"And some people here thought it would be nice to give you this," I pulled out a small bag and placed it on the counter for her.

"What's this? Was this Ise's idea?" Mizu asked.

"You know Ise?"

"She came in to accompany her friend one time. I tattoo her friend and she is getting her second session today."

"What is she getting?"

"Something similar to what I have."

Mizu turned around and moved her tank top down slightly. I poked my head over the counter and found there was a large phoenix tattoo on her back.

"It's not exactly a phoenix. Hers is going to be a turtle."

"Oh, I see."

Mizu turned around, "Thank you," she gestured to the bag. "If it was Ise's idea, I assume it will be tea."

"It was actually mine. Ise gave me the idea to give you something."

"Why's that?" she asked.

"I'm sorry, but she told me what happened to you. About the mother and child here that caused you issues."

A small smile crawled on Mizu's lips, "It was a bit of an unfortunate situation, but it just showed me that people will think what they want to think no matter what."

"Even though I don't really know you, I think you're a great person. For persevering through all of that."

"Thank you," she said.

"I-I'll get your tea ready."

"What's your name?"

"Am I not wearing my name tag?" I looked down at my apron, noticing it was gone. "Shit, I'm not."

She chuckled.

"It's Y/N," I said.

"Nice to meet you, Y/N," she said. "I hope to see you around."

[lostwords-found]

Oh god. Okay. SO. The Protocol red string board is going places and I am chewing drywall.

Note: I've been working on this post for a few days and nothing in here involves episode 27--I don't talk about episodes before they're out for everyone, so no worries about patreon spoilers.

Quick recap of some suspicions about Protocolverse I've written about previously:

1. I think this universe runs on a kind of balance of good & bad luck (or suffering and happiness), and that it's possible--under certain circumstances--to pawn the bad stuff off on other people and keep the good that arises to balance it out. I suspect a big piece of Protocol's overarching plot is going to be about the different ways people go about trying to come out ahead in that bargain.

2. I think some alchemists figured out how to attach bad luck and/or other similarly abstract ills into physical form.

3. I think they were trying to use this to cast out bad luck to other worlds (including that of Archives) and get good luck back. I think this is how the Fears got to Archives in the first place.

4. I think the books and coin in the tomb from MAG 23 got there this way, probably with the involvement of Protocolverse Albertus Magnus. The year on the coin -- 1279 -- is the year before Albertus Magnus died.

We'll come back to that stuff in a bit.

There's an apparently minor detail that was nagging at me recently: in TMAGP 22 Hans Berger specifically mentions having switched to silver wires in his experiments, and this change enabling his breakthroughs. It's through these silver wires, implanted directly into Herr Schmidt's brain, that he later receives the desperate telegraph signals that appear to be from a previously unheard part of Schmidt's brain.

By itself, that wouldn't ping any alarms. Silver wires are in fact what Berger used in real life; silver's highly conductive so if you're trying to read electrical impulses from the brain, probably a good choice of material. But the writing is very deliberate about mentioning them, and coming only three episodes after another historical letter about a scientist also working with silver -- Newton's tree in TMAGP 19 was a fantastical variant of a Tree of Diana, dendritic silver -- Berger's wires start feeling like maybe they're not just there for accuracy.

If, as it appears from Newton's work, consuming silver in certain forms can cause a new kind of consciousness to arise--and also, uh, turn you into a tree--what might implanting silver wires in a human brain do? Is the silver contacting or awakening something that was already there, or is it putting something there? Was that desperate OUT OUT OUT message really from half of Herr Schmidt's mind--or from something in the wire itself that was trying to get out?

That would be weird though. I mean--what, Protocolverse silver's inherently evil or something? But then I got back to thinking about alchemists trying to transmute things into precious metals. Gold's the one we mostly think of, but silver was also of interest. Which in real life is where you got stuff like the tree of Diana--alchemists thought that was a precursor to the philosopher's stone.

So... then I start thinking, if I was right in my other post that alchemists were figuring out how to put evil / misfortune / suffering into a physical form that could be used to transfer it somewhere else, what if silver was involved in that? What if they were either turning misfortune into silver, or trapping it in silver that already existed?

What if they did that, meaning to send it away, and some of that silver made its way into use?

Then I started looking some stuff up.

Did you know silver used to be mined in the Black Forest, in Germany? One mine there had a name meaning "Blessing of God." That mine dates back to the 1200s--Albertus Magnus's lifetime.

Did you know that starting in the 1600s, the G strings on high quality violins were typically wrapped in silver wire?

Do you know why movies are called the silver screen? In the 1920s, literal silver was used to make cinema screens. This fell out of favor as other cheaper designs were worked out, BUT in the 2000s silver has come back into use a bit because it works well for 3D movies. I would not be surprised at all if the screen that Tom went to see Voyeur on had silver in it.

Did you know that in the early 90s there was a specific plant in the UK that manufactured CDs covered with a layer of silver? This later turned out to cause some problems as the silver reacted with sulfur (oh hai, another alchemically significant substance!) and slowly degraded the discs. In real life these CDs were manufactured up through 1993. Per TMAGP 10, Mr Bonzo made his debut in '96 (the interview is from 2021 and is the 25th anniversary of Mr Bonzo's first appearance). The two times Mr Bonzo has appeared in person he's been summoned by playing a CD of his theme song. I wonder where and when those CDs were manufactured...

Did you notice the caterer Lady Mowbray hired in TMAGP 15 mentions that his company did silver service events? Betcha that particular feast was served on literal silver platters.

...I'm starting to think it's a really good thing ink5oul didn't end up tattooing Gwen with that silver spoon.

Okay. This all seems like there's maybe a theme here, but let's take a step back. Some materials have just been used for a lot of things throughout history; it could be coincidence. IF the above is actually on the mark--IF these were all intentional majorly-plot-relevant inclusions of Things Wot Involve Silver--where else would we expect to see this cropping up in the story? Because the topic of silver has barely been raised directly at all; I'm extrapolating wildly here, mostly on the basis of a couple episodes.

Well, here's a thought: silver was used in everyday currency for a long, long time. If there was a bunch of Evil Silver floating around surely someone would have stuck it into some money at some point. "Ill fortune" in the most literal possible sense, or whole new meaning to the phrase "bad penny" -- there are various bad jokes there that more or less write themselves. Though whoever was doing this would have had to to mark the bad money somehow so that they could avoid it...

Hey, um, remember how the OIAR's offices are in the building that housed the Royal Mint for like 150 years?

Actually, while we're on that subject, here's a funny little tidbit: Before it moved to Royal Mint Court, the Royal Mint was in the Tower of London for several centuries--its first home after being centralized. Wanna guess what year the Royal Mint was established in the Tower of London? Go on. Guess.

1279.

The same. Fucking. Year. As was on that coin waaaaaay back in MAG 23. Which was a thing I had noticed a while back when looking at the Germany eps, but I hadn't been considering a "what if some metals can be Bad" angle at that point and had just written it off as an odd coincidence.

Which I mean, it's probably still just a weird coincidence, I'm building this entire elaborate framework out of assumptions on top of assumptions on top of -- hang the fuck on, let me look something up real quick, I've gotta be misremembering--

I'm not misremembering! Isaac Newton was the Master of the Royal Mint for the last 30 years of his life.

Cool. Okay. So that's--hm. I think I'm genuinely starting to convince myself none of this is a coincidence.

Then I start poking through Wikipedia, and you wanna know some other interesting things? One, Newton himself apparently saw his work in economics as a continuation of his alchemical work. And two, during his tenure at the Royal Mint, he put limits on how much gold people were allowed to exchange for silver, and this led to a silver shortage. Because apparently, when other countries imported goods to them, the British paid for those goods in silver coins. When they exported goods to other countries, though?

They would only take payment in gold.

And there it is--there's the exact outsourcing scheme I was looking for. Stick all your suffering and pain and misfortune into your money, use that money to pay other countries, and get only the good stuff back. That... sounds really believable for the British Empire, honestly.

So I really think I might have some decent guesses on the historical stuff at play here. That only goes just so far though, because these days, silver doesn't really get used in coinage much.

Know where it does get used? Circuits. Electronics.

Computers.

If I'm right, whatever machinery the Mint used to store the intangible evils of the world in physical coinage for exportation, I would guess the OIAR is now using to instill all of those evils into FR3-D1 instead. One all-containing artifact of misfortune.

What the endgame is there, what the government gets out of it, I'm still not 100% sure--but I can't help thinking about Jonah's line in MAG 160 that Jon is not the Archivist but the Archive. That he is the record of fear, the physical embodiment of it.

There's people wanting to outsource absolutely fucking everything to AI these days, I guess.

SO THAT'S BEEN MY WEEK this is what my brain does when I have to drive all the way across the US alone, apparently. How are you all?

[star-anise]

So I've been watching this series of videos where a research-focused psychologist goes through Jordan Peterson's work to see which of his ideas and arguments are based on solid empirical evidence. I love it, even though she does mistakenly say his background is in counselling psychology (my field) when he's actually a clinical psychologist.

Anyway, that's got me thinking about Jordan Peterson, and how his response to criticism is, "People have been after me for a long time because I’ve been speaking to disaffected young men — what a terrible thing to do, that is. [...] I thought the marginalized were supposed to have a voice.���

So, here's my theory: Young men of the 21st century have grown up in a culture that is specifically hostile and punitive towards them. However, I think that while girls and women can participate in this culture, it is as much or more the work of boys and men. And I think that the problem with Peterson is that he's not particularly good at helping his audience escape the maze they are trapped in--and he's absolutely opposed to any attempt to dismantle a maze that is actually of fairly recent manufacture.

Case in point: The metrosexual.

The word "metrosexual" was coined in 1994 by Mark Simpson, a gay writer whose settings seem to be perpetually fixed at "critique the shit out of it".

"Metrosexual" describes heterosexual men who might be mistaken as gay, because they are interested in things very common among gay men, including: Caring about whether they're attractive; caring about how their hair is cut and what products they use in it; caring about what clothes they wear; working out to make their bodies look better; frequenting nightclubs. To be "metrosexual" was, in some people's opinions, to be a "man-boy" searching for his "inner girl".

To be metrosexual was, in some ways, to be called someone who looked gay.

The term didn't really catch on until the early 2000s, when media became briefly obsessed with talking about which celebrities were "metrosexual" or not. In that era of hotly divided opinions over the acceptability of homosexuality and queerness, it was implicitly asking, "Who looks gay? Is he gay? Tell me, fellow broadcaster: How gay does this guy look to you?"

(They got to have their cake and eat it too. A liberal audience, desperate to gather as many LGBTQ+ people and allies as possible in their race for 50% acceptance of gay marriage, cherished any signs that people with social clout might be on their side. And a conservative one, watching the same discussion, would heartily enjoy seeing a rogues' gallery of degenerate Hollywood types paraded before them, their every effeminacy pointed out in loving detail.)

Which of course got us: The Retrosexual!

When everybody's helpfully compiling lists of all the things a man can do that look gay or unmanly, dudes who don't want to get the shit kicked out of them by homophobes know all the things not to do!

Therefore, being "manly" became strictly defined by what was off-limits. To be a Real Man meant you shouldn't care about whether you're attractive, or what soap you use, or how your hair is styled. You shouldn't enjoy dancing or get too enthusiastic about music. A Real Man cares about sports and beer and being on top! Dominant!! A WINNER!!!

And, so like, here's a secret: In Anglophone culture, we are very affected by the Puritan legacy that says pleasure is inherently sinful. Vanity and pride--caring about how you look and whether you're attractive--are literal gateways to the Devil. Gluttony, and therefore seeking pleasure at all, is another such. And in Puritan religious theology, women are inherently more sinful. Yes, it goes back to Adam and Eve, and how Eve was tempted into sin first. Long story short, things associated with women became associated with sinfulness, and sinfulness became associated with effeminacy. And for centuries, you haven't even needed to be religious to drink these attitudes from the groundwater.

Okay, that's not the secret, this is the secret: Pleasure is not inherently sinful.

And liking how you look and feeling attractive and paying attention to your sensuality and your emotional life and connecting with art in a real and vulnerable way can feel really good, if you're able to handle it well.

Being raised to be a Real Man in a world where masculinity is perceived to be actively under threat is so uniquely painful, I believe, because every attempt to define yourself as "not gay" means denying yourself one of life's pleasures, and telling yourself you never even wanted it in the first place.

And then those desperate to be Real Men found a way to take some of those things back in what is surely the most painful context possible: They are allowed strictly as tools of your heterosexuality and masculine need for dominance. You are allowed to care about grooming and dancing, etc, purely as a strategy in playing a game called "Getting Girls", where you either score or you don't, where not scoring means you're worthless and unlovable, and scoring is often... strangely unfulfilling and certainly not enough to fill the aching void inside of you.

The mistake both Peterson and his fanbase make is that they get to this point, and then think: The reason I feel so empty inside is... I just haven't gotten enough girls!

Maybe some guys get out of the maze by finding a woman who is allowed to care about things like affection and love and dancing and looking nice, and their connection with her lets them express all the other parts of their souls that didn't fit in the Real Man box, but can come out in roles like Boyfriend or Father.

But humans aren't telepathic, so relationships can only "fix" you so much as you're willing to do the work of nurturing your own soul in a safe environment, so for a lot of men the maze never ends, and sometimes they don't even get the fleeting joys of relationships or sex, since they're so fucked up about them!

At this point, I as a queer woman am like, "Solution's obvious! Dismantle the maze."

And Peterson, who has worked his whole life to achieve the status of Best Maze-Runner in All of Christendom, is clinging to it like, "NO! DOWN, YOU DARK CHAOTIC MOTHER! THIS MAZE GIVES MY LIFE MEANING! THIS MAZE CONNECTS ME TO MY FOREFATHERS! I CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT THIS MAZE!"

At which point, like... what can you do but just leave him there?

At least he's not in my area of specialization. The world would be too unkind if I had to deal with him in any professional capacity. I wish Clinical Psychology all their continued joy of him.

[shadowgast-recs-weekly]

Highly Specific Aus!

This week, we have eight highly specific AUs - Alternate Universes that move away from the common tropes we love - often towards things that the authors have put a lot of experience and thought into. Check them out beneath the cut, and as always - feel free to comment or kudos if you like them!

when the lights go out by 06151126 (27307, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: panic attacks, self destructive behavior

The formula one racecar AU

Reccer says: Perfect characterization and backstory in a completely different world - this is what AUs are all about

This sudden burst of sunlight, and me with my umbrella by Criticalpancake (63817, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

The Mighty Nein are orchid thieves. Essek is still a traitor

Reccer says: Orchid theives! It's fascinating and something I would have never thought of

I’ve been lost before (and I’m lost again, I guess) by toneofjoy (165080, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Essek ran away from his problems and settled in the seaside city of Nicodranas. When Caleb Widogast joins their team at the Tidepeak rock-climbing gym, everything changes. Caleb has plans to take down his old coaches, and Essek has secrets. (It’s the Shadowgast climbing AU.)

Reccer says: Its still the first fic I think of when I think of amazing fics built on an unexpected premise. Absolutely phenomenal writing

More Things in Heaven and Earth by kaeda (76998, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Caleb and Essek wake up and find themselves teleported into the alternate universe of the trashy smut novel, Tusk Love

Reccer says: Some of the best Crack Treated Seriously I've ever read 💜

Wishing Coin by Luckyowlsfoot (45913, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: Graphic Depictions of Violence

Magical Highschool/Academy where Caleb and Essek are secretly dragons

Reccer says: Interesting concept and fun Worldbuilding

the fire kept closest (burns most of all) by mousecookie (21822, Mature) Reccer's Content Notes: Major Character Death

Essek is a Volcanologist. Caleb used to be as well, but now he's something a bit different.

Reccer says: I absolutely adore this fic

resonance broadening by toneofjoy (51665, Mature) Reccer's Content Notes: None

It’s SG as labmates who hate each other: they’re tired, sassy, and secretly enamored.

Reccer says: Beautiful and Lovely with lots of sass between Caleb and Essek. Great if you ever went to grad school

some branch of stars we see by SongOfWizardry (4680, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes, WIP

A Mighty Nein and/or Shadowgast Teaching AU.

Reccer says: Teaching AUs aren't exactly rare, but the amount of detail put into this AU that is clearly based on the author's experience elevates it to highly specific

Aeor is for Lovers is an 18+ Shadowgast Discord server. The above fanfic recommendations were pulled from our community for this weekly event. All fics, unless otherwise specified, will primarily feature Shadowgast. Have any questions about what this is? Check out the FAQ! Next week, we’ll be back with Kink Negotation!

[mirai-e-jump]

Hero Vision Vol.37 (2010/Summer) ft. Kamen Rider OOO Cast Members Watanabe Shu & Miura Ryosuke Interviews (translations below)

Publication: September 7, 2010

Watanabe Shu (Eiji Hino)

"Playing the role of the main character Eiji Hino and Kamen Rider OOO in "Kamen Rider OOO," is Watanabe Shu-kun. He's always thought, "I've always wanted to become a Kamen Rider," and the passion he has for this production has only seemed to have intensified. Watanabe-kun has only just started to create the role, but what's the main appeal of OOO and Eiji? We present to you this hot interview."

-I'm going to become a Kamen Rider!-

Ever since my first year of elementary school, starting with "Kamen Rider Kuuga," I've watched all of the Heisei Kamen Rider series in real time. At first, seeing a Kamen Rider defeat a monster was just so cool, and I couldn't stop watching. Around the time of the third series, "Ryuki," and fourth series, "Faiz," I was able to better understand even the smallest of details, and I began to think, "I'm going to become a Kamen Rider!"

While I continued to think like this, the chance to audition for "Kamen Rider OOO" was presented to me. I was more determined than any of the other contestants to win the audition, and it's not an exaggeration to say that I was putting my life on the line. That's why when I was chosen, I was so happy that I burst into tears.

Out of all the Heisei Kamen Rider series, the one I like the most is Kamen Rider Faiz. When he transforms, this area (his face and the 5 sections of his body) beeps and lights up, and when he does a Rider Kick, there's a flash of red…..the transformation and battle scenes are really cool!

Not only Faiz, but I've been influenced by the previous works of my seniors in many ways. In particular, when the Producer told me that Eiji's character is similar to that of Ryuki's main character (Shinji Kido), I had a fresh new look on him.

However, I don't want to end up copying his character, rather, I want to make sure that Eiji's own character comes through. When I think, "The feeling of Eiji," it's…..that he doesn't sweat the small stuff, and that he doesn't care about looking cool. Still, he'll face anyone directly, and has a strong will to protect what he wants to protect at all costs. I think that Eiji's a very straightforward guy. I also think the fact that he carries around nothing but his underwear and some coins means that he doesn't worry about appearances. My personality is that I also don't sweat the small stuff (laughs), and I'm not shy, so I have many similarities with Eiji. I'd like to play the role of a reliable hero by incorporating the coolness of Eiji and OOO into my own personality.

-A carefully crafted transformation scene-

It's been about 3 weeks since filming began (this interview takes place in early July), but the scale of the show's production was beyond my imagination. From the number of people involved, the methods used for filming, and everything else was massive. I get really excited when I think about being in such a production. I'll never forget the excitement I felt when I filmed the transformation scene for the first time! In Kamen Rider W's film (Kamen Rider W Forever), there's a scene where OOO appears, and by saying, "Henshin!," I realized just how hard I'd been working to get here……and I almost started to cry without thinking.

OOO's transformation is so cool! There's lots of attention to detail, like with the 3 medals in the belt and the elaborate moves. The Action Director, (Tsuyoshi) Miyazaki, came up with the basics, and we worked together on the detailed hand movements and positions. I suggested that since my left hand was facing the camera, my palm should be facing towards it, and also thought up ways of saying, "Henshin!" It's an important scene throughout the show, and I want to create the image of Eiji and the hero that I envisioned, so I was very specific about it. In W's film, Eiji is supposed to have experienced transforming many times before, so I made sure he looked confident. But, the transformation in the first episode of our main story is Eiji's first transformation, so it gives off a fresh feeling. I hope you enjoy both!

On days where I was taught how to pose, I'd practice by myself at home until midnight. In my mind, I created the image of becoming OOO as if I were in CG (laughs). I can't wait to see it, as the end result will be even better than that. I definitely have to go to the preview screenings! (laughs).

Eiji's a guy who's on the move alot, so I'm looking forward to seeing more action scenes. We shot alot in episodes 1 and 2, with me being grabbed by the monsters, being thrown around, being blown up, and rolling around. I'm still abit awkward at it, but with the help of Director Miyazaki and Suit Actor (Seiji) Takaiwa-san, I hope that in the end, I'll be able to jump off a building.

Ah, I mean, I want to improve that badly, but whether I can really do it or not is another story! (laughs). My dream is to punch and kick the monsters untransformed, so I'd like to make that happen too. If I keep talking about it like this, it'll come true someday, right? (laughs).

-Teamwork is the best!-

Things are so much fun on set. Ankh's actor, (Miura) Ryosuke-kun, is currently 5 years older me, and Shintaro Goto's actor, (Asaya) Kimijima-kun is 3 years older, but once I started talking to them, we quickly became friends. Miura-kun is the person I interact with the most in my role, so we're often together on set, and we talk about things other than acting, like my favorite manga (laughs). You get to know Miura-kun as he performs during filming. When the cameras aren't rolling, we talk about different topics, and I'd to get to know Miura-kun better when we're not acting.

As for Kimijima-kun….I was already a fan (laughs). When I was in middle school, I saw Kimijima-kun as a model in a fashion magazine, and it made me happy. Both of them are like kind older brothers, so I think it'll be alot of fun for the 3 of us to be in the same dressing room together.

We're off to a good start, and I have a feeling that the teamwork on set will keep getting better. We'll create an interesting show together, so please look forward to it!

-Watanabe Shu's Body-

Head: I'm a super positive person, so I just get through everything with the attitude of, "Well, I'll just figure it out." Who do I take after…..maybe it's a mutation? (laughs).

Ear: I've been told that I have "Hell Ears," because I carefully listen and remember the various things people say (laughs). I don't have any piercings…..making a hole looks like it'd hurt.

Eyes: I used to play sports, so my eyesight is well developed. I can even dodge punches, which I think will help me with action scenes!

Nose: I'm sensitive to the smell of food, and can guess what kind of food it is without looking. By the way, I love the smell of meat. I'm like a cave man (laughs).

Hand: I like to draw, and got the highest scores in art. But, I was more involved with sports, so now I'm abit rusty. Women probably prefer slimmer fingers anyway (laughs).

Mouth: I'm not shy at all, so even if I just met someone, I'll talk to them as much as I can. In other words, I'm annoying (laughs).

Foot: I'm fast! I used to run short distance and hurdle races, but I'm especially good at 400 meters races, and once took 3rd place in a prefectural competition with a time of 51.24 seconds!

Mind: I don't get upset about things too much. Maybe it's because a girl called me "insensitive" when I was in elementary school. Now that I think about it, that word seems to carry a serious meaning (laughs).

OOO: The theme of OOO is "Desire," and my "Desire" was to become a Kamen Rider. I think it's because I kept that in mind that I was able to encounter this production. Now, OOO is "Desire" itself. _

Miura Ryosuke (Ankh)

"Playing the double role of Shingo Izumi, a detective, and Ankh, the monster who possesses him in "Kamen Rider OOO," is Miura Ryosuke-kun. With the aim of, "Playing a beloved monster," he seems to be exploring for new ways to express himself everyday."

-Aiming to become a beloved monster-

I met with the Producer and Director through an interview, where I was given the opportunity to be apart of this production. The day before the interview, I was so nervous because my mind was racing (bitter smile). But, in order for people to understand you, you have to enjoy yourself, so that's what I did, and from the beginning, everyone talked to me in such a friendly manner…..I immediately felt relaxed and at ease.

When I was chosen for the role of Ankh, I thought to myself, "I'm grateful." I've been an actor for about 9 years now, and I was afraid that I'd only be doing on the spot performances. But, I now feel that it's because of my previous experience that I was able to get a role that'll last as long as a year. That's why I'm "grateful."

After filming began, the separation of the roles for Shingo Izumi and Ankh become a major point for me. Director (Ryuta) Tasaki, who shot episodes 1 and 2, asked me to, "Make some differences," for my tone of voice, facial expressions, and movements. Looking at the script, it's obviously different. But, when I tried playing the role, it was very difficult. Shingo becomes possessed by Ankh in the first episode, so we don't know much about his personality. His younger sister (Hina Izumi, played by Riho Takada-chan) is worried about him, so we know he's a good older brother, but, I think he's actually more of a troublesome brother, which is why his sister is so strong (laugh). I'm looking forward to finding out what kind of person Shingo is through Hina.

I'm still struggling with Ankh. The only thing I've clearly decided on, is to make him a "beloved monster." This was also brought up by Director Tasaki. Ankh's ideas and actions are pretty mischievous. One example is in episode 2, when he ate some popsicles, saying the reason was he wanted to, "Get some nourishment" (laughs). I'm sure that if I play the role without hesitating, my character will be loved by everyone. I wonder if Ankh will become more like a human by being with Eiji, or if a monster will always stay a monster…..I can't wait to see how things turn out.

Before we started filming, we had 2 rehearsals, but for the first one, time went by and I wasn't really grasping anything……I was certain that everyone was worried and wondering, "Is this guy gonna be okay?" I was so frustrated, that I would watch anime that reminded me of Ankh, I just couldn't stop thinking about him. I began to think that there was more to him than just being a right hand, and that there was a "heart" to him. Then, at the second rehearsal, I was able to get into being Ankh. The Director actually told me, "You're overdoing it" (laughs), but, those words helped me to get rid of any doubts, and I began to understand the "balance" of being Ankh.

-Creating Ankh together-

I'd like to draw your attention to the craftsmanship of Ankh's arm. It's been finely crafted down to the smallest details, and is very beautiful. It made me wonder how great it'd be to design the whole body. I can't tell you what material it's made of, as it's a trade secret (laughs), but, it's so light that I no longer feel uncomfortable wearing it. The index and middle fingers are my own fingers sticking through, so I can make detailed movements.

I've learned alot from Eitoku-san (Suit Actor), who moves Ankh's arm. Even though only his arm is shown in the show, he uses his whole body to express himself to the fullest. Just when I was thinking that I didn't want to be outdone, I had a very happy experience. The scene in the first episode where Ankh possesses Shingo was expressed through my own arm…..When I performed the moment when Ankh enters his arm and takes over, the camera man called Eitoku-san over and said, "Eitoku, this is how the acting should be done." The person who was filming was able to understand my performance. It made me incredibly happy. It made me think, "I can really do it as Ankh!" Through Eitoku-san and Ankh, I'm learning the importance of expressing my thoughts and feelings from the tips of my fingers, toes, and head.

The Director, makeup artists, costume designers, lighting crew……all of their hard work has been positive, and has helped me with becoming Ankh. I'd like to express myself as much as I can so that you can see it in a better way.

As of now, many of the actors are younger than me, but in the past, I'm often the youngest on set. I'd like to view this from the perspective of an older brother…….I want to, but it's abit difficult (laughs). The teen cast members are all so strong, that they often end up helping me out.

I think that (Watanabe) Shu is "free" in a good way. He says things like, "I want to express it in this way," without hesitation. In this world, people tend to hold back by saying, "I can't do this," or, "I can only do this much," but Shu doesn't have such an attitude. That's why I feel good and at ease when we're together. His presence in my life has grown so much, that I feel like we've already been together for a year. The only thing I wish he'd stop talking about, is his favorite manga. Every day when he comes to the set, he asks me, "Miura-kun, have you read this one?" I'm not really into reading manga, so one of my favorite things to say right now is, "Will I last a year….?" (laughs).

I'm grateful for being on such a set where we can have such innocent conversations. I'd like to build a relationship with Shu and all the cast members, so that we can motivate and support each other even during the hardest shoots. I'd like to work with everyone to grow not only within the work, but myself over the next year.

-Miura Ryosuke's Body-

Head: I'm someone that wants to have "fun." I want to take things in a fun direction, and for people to think, "He's smart." I don't want to show my efforts behind the scenes.

Eyes: I may have a hard time looking at people and other things. But, the feeling of taking in everything is always there. Because by doing so, I'll encounter something that'll move my heart.

Mouth: I like talking, but I'm not good at it. I'm often asked, "What was that last part?," because I tend to get carried away and say things too quickly…..

Nose: Like laundry fresh out of the dryer, I like scents that give off a warm feeling (laughs). Sleeping on them is ideal. Floral fabric softeners are the best.

Mind: I've always been stubborn, and I'm very consistent when it comes to my way of thinking. In order for people to understand that, I have to be firm with myself first.

Foot: I'm not slow, but I don't think I'm fast either. I do like to exercise and dance, and I like to just move my body. I'd be happy if I can make use of that in my action scenes.

Ear: I have really good ears. Even when I'm talking to someone, I can hear the conversations of those next to me, and I'll get angry and say, "What'd you say?!" (laughs).

OOO: This is the "start" for me. I'm confident that what I learn here will remain with me for the rest of my life, so I want to make this an important first step for me.

[luxenvulpies]

[Missing-Link] CBT1 Info

Since the closed beta began, there has been a lot of activity with testers posting images, videos, and details (and some streaming). I've compiled some for easier browsing:

Character customization

Body types A and B

Character creation

Earring (whose?)

Some customization

Maku's drip

More drip

FFXIV Black Mage but green

FFXVI Jill Warrick

Purchasable outfits named after Final Fantasy jobs (each cost 2k jewels you know the ones)

UI

Equipment menu

Vertical and horizontal resolution with seamless transition

Gameplay

Dive to the Heart tutorial (stained glass may be a spoiler)

More Dive to the Heart

Meeting other players in the hub area

Timed battles (apparently may not be all fights)

Timed battle footage (not enough info on who or what is the opponent)

Buzz Lightyear and Sulley piece usage

Charged attacks

Ranged Keyblade

Grand Chests that contains a piece

GPS and walking on buildings with no care in the world

Losing all health & reviving

Raid battle completion

Raid battle completion screens

Piece enhancement screens :worry:

Donald piece screen (JP)

Prince Phillip piece screen (JP)

Mickey piece screen (JP)

Sora piece screen (JP)

Defeating area bosses grant coins to exchange for accessories. Accessories are enhanced with a chance of failure. Using enhancement records will increase stats.

Ireland

Auto gameplay result screen (JP): AP gained, defeated enemies, times activated(?), recovery spots used, treasure chests obtained, pieces obtained

Elemental wheel (no, this was not stolen from another game, so stop that nonsense)

Gacha

Winnie the Pooh

Some pull rates (subject to change!)

2 banners

Sora, Riku, Kairi Pieces

Story (spoilers!!)

JP intro (not sure if the English version is dubbed No dub, yet anyway)

Scala ad Caelum logo appearing (not really a spoiler)

Posting any text here will spoil it - just click the link

Other

Scala ad Caelum logo

Beta data size (~1.9GB)

Guide Moogle (Cute, kupo!)

Astral Plane battle music

AimmsBear's experience thread

Key_Cast's thread on game mechanics and some lore

Summary of Nomura's visit to the Artnia Cafe in Japan with reports from those who attended (via lottery)

Streamers/Video Archives

[leeadamsmusic3630] Multiple videos with specific features

[Dive Hearts] Game records/growth log, UI editor

Our Stuff

Post on spreadsheets with data from the closed beta

---

[dragonwysper]

Just finished Mouthwashing, after hearing all sorts of snippets of fandom drama about it. I'd stayed away from all that because I didn't have the context, but now I do! So I'm blasting you all with my thoughts.

Long post. Be prepared. Spoilers for Mouthwashing and CW for in-depth discussion of SA below.

So the biggest aspect of the drama side of the fandom that I've been seeing is how the game handled Anya's rape. Some people think it was devastating and properly showed the awfulness of Jimmy, and feel Anya's trauma was portrayed accurately and handled well. Others think Anya was somewhat one-dimensional; she was given a stereotypically female-specific trauma to match the different pain/traumas of the other crew members, and feel the subject wasn't given enough weight and respect.

After having played the game (while also going into it with the knowledge and expectation that it would be about SA), I can see both sides. Though I think my thoughts on everything come from some core details.

Firstly, the core theme of the game is not SA. It's karma. Jimmy is a terrible person who doesn't care about the pain he inflicts on others, as long as he gains something from it. The game follows him as he destroys the people around him, and treats them like fodder to fuel his own goals. We see all of this catch up to him in the end, and he's sortof divinely punished, or overcome with guilt, or whatever it is, because of it. Each person's harm is unique and everybody has their own micro-themes, but the core theme of the game is overwhelmingly karma.

Essentially, this is not a game about SA. This is a game about a terrible person getting what's coming to him.

Secondly, rape as shock content is a common gripe regarding mostly horror movies. It's a quick and easy way to create motivation, so much so that it's turned into its own subgenre of 'rape and revenge' plots. Think I Spit On Your Grave style movies. The other side of the same coin is objectifying the victim, which creates an exploitative feel. The act of the rape itself, and furthermore the shock of it, is more important than the victim and their feelings and trauma. Rape is detached from the lasting harm it causes, and is more something to justify getting up in arms about something/someone rather than a trauma.

And while we do see some of Anya's trauma from SA, Mouthwashing by and large is not meant to be a commentary on SA specifically. Again, it's about how terrible of a person Jimmy is, which makes the SA, at least in part, a tool to make the player hate him.

Ultimately, if Mouthwashing was changed to where Anya faced a different form of harm from Jimmy, instead of SA, it would still be just about the same game. You could still make a convincing game with karma and bad people getting their comeuppance as the core theme. And that I think is the most important realization to have about the subject.

Anya's SA was the first trauma, and the details of the aftermath are what kickstarted the plot, but it was, intentionally or not, a tool to make you hate Jimmy. Because the game isn't about Anya and her trauma. It's about Jimmy and his karma.

I think Mouthwashing is fascinating, and that theme of karma is not something I see done well very often. I think the style of the plot and all the little details that expound upon the micro-themes of the game are extremely well done. And I think it did handle its themes of SA better than a lot of content that discusses it. But it's not perfect, and it falls short of really digging into the true weight of it. It's not a game that makes any real progress on the portrayal of sexual trauma in media. It's cleaner and less graphic than 'rape and revenge' stories, but it ultimately still relies on exploiting the shock of rape to serve a 'bigger' plot.

It's late, I'm tired, and I'm struggling to properly word what I'm feeling, but hopefully my interpretation of nuance comes through.

[silverview]

below the cut is a long and overthinky post about in9, mostly

i need to start by talking about sitcom finales, which fortunately is a straightforward place to start. i've probably written this exact bit before, so i'll recap it as briefly as i can

when creators are knowingly bringing a sitcom to its end, they use the final episode(s) to ask and (usually) answer the question: are we getting out of this situation? since the characters aren’t going to be onscreen anymore, they don’t need to be funny anymore, so they have the option of ‘graduating’ out of whatever sit(uation) has been keeping them hilariously unfulfilled. (the sit might be a literal location or simply a social circle, pattern of behaviour etc.) they have the opportunity to be happy, offscreen, after the show ends

characters can graduate by changing their circumstances: for the worse e.g. death (blackadder) or for the better (cabin pressure). if they don't graduate, they're doomed to remain in the sit indefinitely (peep show). or they might realise that the sit has become a place where they feel fulfilled, and they have no need to graduate (spaced). how to classify any specific show can be up for debate & i won't go into detail justifying these examples, but broadly speaking and for the sake of argument, these are the categories

you can mix and match these endings for different characters within the same show, so that some graduate and others don’t (community). this will often be the case when there is a ‘striver’ character who has consistently shown greater ambition/potential to escape than the others. this is going to be bittersweet, in fact all graduations are going to be bittersweet, because – no matter how awful the sit and no matter how nice the graduation – the audience has come to know and love the sit, and the characters/relationships within it, and we’re sad to see that come to an end. the characters left behind will inevitably have strong feelings about a split ending, one way or another – either supporting or attempting to sabotage the striver's graduation

so i’ve been thinking about plodding on as a sitcom finale. as you can tell, it's clearly using this framework. it takes the emergent meta-characters of 'steve' and 'reece,' largely implied presences up to this point, and puts them up onscreen for a very traditional sitcom finale. the show itself is the sit, and we get all the classic struggles to escape, all the ensuing clashes brought on by guilt/resentment/the pain of separation. through this lens, the ending is... well, either a peep show or a spaced ending, depending on how optimistically you read it. but those are just two sides of the same coin – the 'nobody graduates' coin. 'the adventure continues indefinitely.' they move on to a new show, but their circumstances are effectively unchanged, for better or worse. the audience are invited to enjoy the cosy feeling that this is for the best. they know we love the sit, that's only natural, and we don't want it to end. so they very kindly wrote an ending that keeps it alive forever, even if that leaves their characters somewhat unresolved/unfulfilled in some respects

tlog apocalypse is also a sitcom finale, in a sense. it uses a curiously similar formula – manifesting the meta-characters 'steve,' 'reece' and 'mark' onscreen for the first time, and making tlog itself the thing from which they want to escape. like plodding on it even shows us a fictional 'next' project to represent their escape attempt. the difference is that they are not the protagonists; the residents of royston vasey are, represented by lipp & geoff & briss. those guys get their own unique graduation arcs, which all fit the traditional sitcom model to a greater or lesser extent. some are aborted and some are fulfilled, but overall, we get a similar ending to in9: the town goes on, the sit goes on, the adventure continues indefinitely. ('it was all a dream' ambiguity notwithstanding.) because that's basically what the audience really wants.

in both these cases, what we're really rooting for is The Show; The Work Itself. i've said this before, but one of in9's favourite themes is the danger and difficulty of creative work/entertaining people, the damaging effects on the body and soul. but in the end, despite all that, it comes down in favour.

if psychoville had run its course, would the r&s meta-characters eventually have made an appearance? i suspect not, for two reasons. 1) unlike tlog & in9, psychoville has a substantial recurring cast of other actors, so the r&s meta-characters are not such a ubiquitous implied presence. 2) maureen & david are (or ... were) a prominent stable unit that can easily stand in for the creators, i.e. represent their respective aggregate presences on the show. (tubbs & edward can fill this role for tlog; they just didn't in the movie. in9 doesn't have a version of this, or it didn't until the finale.)

i'm talking about meta-characters all the time. i linked to my original post about it above, but i want to try & expand on it. r&s, the implied actors/writers. they're a sort of thin layer between the explicit fiction of the show and the reality of the actual guys. they're emergent, unscripted, unseen, unheard, and largely unknowable. they're made up of the viewer's conscious & unconscious impressions as she watches the show. the easiest way i've found to think about it is this: they're the same as the actor characters on the show that goes wrong – recognisable characters who are actors, themselves playing a variety of characters – the only difference is that 'reece' and 'steve' don't ever break onscreen. we always know they're there; we always know we're watching 'reece' & 'steve' playing tommy & len; we are never just watching tommy & len. we build up a familiarity with 'reece' and 'steve' just by watching them act, and that inevitably shapes our perceptions of the individual explicitly fictional characters

the meta-characters are who the audience is tuning in for week to week, to see what they do next. not the explicitly fictional characters who change every week (although once we know & love them, we return to see them again of course<3). not the real human men, because those are too far removed for audiences to develop an impression of them from the show alone. there is a fictional construct of a man which is never intentionally written or acted, but which nonetheless accretes organically in the viewer's head, until she has a vague sense of a character behind the characters. that's the meta-character.

many such cases, when actors repeatedly work within the same circumstances/ensembles. very similar effect in the carry on films, for example. hancock's half hour features an odd version of the same phenomenon. sketch shows like mitchell & webb look and jfsp repeatedly bring their meta-characters onscreen, and in fact both explicitly acknowledge what they're doing by having the meta-characters point out that their lines are scripted. especially in jfsp, this creates ANOTHER layer of fiction – there's the fully fictional character simon kane is playing, there's the 'simon kane' who has scripted lines in a fourth-wall-breaking sketch, there's the meta-character 'simon kane' who is implied to be reading those lines, and finally there's the flesh & blood human man. this is all getting a bit much

anyway, imagine if in9 had included more ‘backstage’ scenes/episodes throughout its run. imagine how plodding on would hit if you’d been seeing those guys interact onscreen for the whole ten years, sloooowly building their meta-story to its finale

[spectrumgarden]

how do you know if you have medium support needs?

Gonna go on a bit of a long winded support needs rant here.

Frankly theres no hard lines between the terms low medium and high support needs. Medium support needs specifically is a community term, meaning it was made by autistic people instead of medical professionals. There are also many people who consider themselves right between two categories, so they'll say they are low-medium or medium-high, which honestly turns it into more of a 5 options system than 3 if you're being pedantic. And then theres also the option of describing the category further, for example like saying you are on the high end of low support needs, or the low end of medium support needs.

( slight tangent: depending on where you live there might be actual legal categories with strict definitions, based on how much support someone needs, seperate from the specific terms of LSN MSN and HSN. In germany where I live there are Pflegegrade, translating to "care degree", which has 5 levels. I am right under the point cut off for level 3, so I'm a high level 2, described as "substantial limitation of indepence and skill". (Which I think also fits well with me considering myself on the low end of MSN.) This care level translates to funding for my care by my insurance and (alongside my disability ID score and markers) is often used in services for disabled people to "prove" that I need them to begin with before the question of funding even comes up. )

When it comes to assessing these support needs, whether legally defined or community coined, you can not really get around ADLs, activities of daily living. There are bADLs and iADLs, and most lists online will be fairly similar in what they include. ADLs are used in assessing disabled peoples need for care no matter their type of disability. It's what was used for my grandmother with alzheimers the same way it's used for me or my neighbor with mobility issues.

Since there are no strict "you need to hit exactly these many of the bADLs and these many of the iADLs that you need help with in this way" rules to qualify for, anything past this point will be my subjective opinion that I formed after looking at tons of peoples self reported and caregiver reported support needs label and what they need help with, and in what capacity. Others might define this (slightly) differently.

Support basically starts at reminders and ends in someone else completely doing it for you (sometimes done as hand over hand to hopefully build motor memory so you might be able to start doing them a bit more independently in the future). Theres also the detail of "how do you define needing care" and in general disability circles, not necessarily autism specific circles, I've often seen the phrase "can you do it reliably and safely" to assess if you need help with something. So if you can only get yourself to shower once a month for example even with reminders, that would still count as requiring care of some level for it to be done reliably. Or if you can use an oven to heat up / make food but you sometimes get burns that go beyond regular "clumsiness" that also means you probably need additional support to use it safely.

From what I've seen in the community over the last few years I honestly consider bADLs to be a large deciding factor for your support needs. If I did not need help with bADLs beyond reminders I could for example probably get away with only having a few hours of support a week for things like assisted grocery shopping or driving me to a doctor's appointment or helping me write an email or make a phone call or helping me deep clean the bathroom or kitchen, while spending my day to day completely by myself. I would still have to accommodate myself the rest of the time, such as mostly relying on instant and generally low effort food, my apartment would probably never be super tidy (but also like. Majority of peoples apartments get messy on the regular, I should know from my friends that are all 100% abled), and relying on a schedule, for example an app or physical list on the wall, for bathing, dressing and grooming.

But because I need prompting for my bADLs to be done reliably in any way or form I suddenly need a lot more care, so this small detail made it go from 1-2 days a week to daily.

with bADLs (and similarly iADLs but that's not the focus right now) it starts with people who need no help with them, then people directly below me who need reminders for (some) of them, people like me who need prompting and on bad days hands on help with some. And over that are people who need prompting for most if not all of them, and ending in people who need hands on help for all of them. And if you crammed that entire experience all into high support needs and left low to medium support needs open for people who only need help with iADLs it would be way too much for the HSN category alone I think. But if you extended it into low support needs it would also make low support needs basically useless as a term. Which to me means it makes the most sense to consider needing some help with bADLs beyond reminders the thing that sort of starts the category of medium support needs applying. Because frankly speaking reminders dont take up a lot of time, often can be done virtually or without the need for another person via reminders and checklists etc. Which is a stark contrast to someone who needs to be walked through a task from beginning to end by someone by their side at all times. So you can need help with most/all of your iADLs, which means you still need a relatively high amount of care if you look at it from an abled perspective ( i.e. someone to control your finances for you, and organize your transportation, and help you keep your environment clean, ...) and maybe rely on a phone app that reminds you to brush your teeth and shower, and still be low support needs, because you're putting it in the perspective of the large variety that is disabled experiences.

Lastly I do think the ADLs are not perfect, for example at least older definitions usually do not include things like if you can engage in fun activities by yourself such as watching media or reading or drawing, whatever you enjoy, or how effectively you can communicate in daily life even though that is in itself important to your quality of life and will affect how much time needs to be spend on your care. However they are the best we have currently and make a lot of sense.

[16woodsequ]

Sunday Steve - Day 13.5: What Did a Tenement Look Like?

As a follow up to my tenement building post, I've done my best to find a collection of photos to show what apartments Steve lived in could have looked like. As I mentioned in my earlier Sunday Steve post, a lot of tenement pictures were taken specifically because of the poor conditions, so I tried to find pictures that would show a side of tenements we might not usually see.

Tenement playground, circa 1900-1937 (Link)

Contemporary photos

Interior stairwell, 1937. (Link)

Look at the wallpaper! Also I can just imagine children playing in that nook there, using it like a fort or something.

Interior between 1900 and 1910. (Link)

Look at all the pictures on the walls, the patterned and no doubt colourful table cloth and the decorative elements of the stove! This apartment looks like it has a gas stove and lights.

(part of me does wonder if this photo was staged to some extent, perhaps to advertise the new laws going in (?), but that's only a theory.)

Kitchen interior with sink and icebox, 1935. (Link)

You can see the draped curtains, the mirror above the sink and the cloth on top of the fridge. The shelf with all the jars has been recovered with a decorative trim and the floor is patterned linoleum.

Family at kitchen table in a dumb-bell tenement, circa 1935. Note the angled kitchen window by the stove looking into an air shaft. (Link)

(The Barnes family anyone?) Again, patterned, clean floors, a gas stove, what may be a folded up bed in the left-hand upper corner. Five toothbrushes above the sink, a mirror above the shelf, the trim on the shelf itself. I think the dark thing next to the boxes in the lower right-hand corner might be a toy pram.

Interior view of dressing table and toilet, 1936. (Link)

Typical small toilet, probably built after the New Law required them. Note the pretty framed photo of religious figures on top of the dressing table, what I think is an electric curling iron next to it, and the sculpting details of the wall pillar.

Reconstruction

But black and white photos don't give us a full idea of what things would be like. Luckily, there is Tenement Museum in Manhattan that has 1910 and 1930 Old Law restored tenement apartments.

Outside of museum and stairs leading up. (Link)

This tenement is 5 floors, which is standard for Old Law. New Law tenements were often higher. The tenement, like many tenements, had a store front on the street level.

If you look carefully you can see the tin-plated ceilings. Note how you can see a painting on the wall across from the stairs. In the tour they discuss how these were people's homes and they decorated them and were proud of them too.

Images of a 1910 style apartment. (Link) (Link)

These tenements are 3 rooms, bedroom, kitchen and parlour. Note the bed in the kitchen where Steve could've slept. This could also be a place for a crib for a baby. These apartments have shared toilets in the halls that were for two families.

Also look at the green and red walls! So much colour! And the pictures hung on the walls! There's a rug on the floor, doilies and a cushion on the couch, a patterned curtain behind the door... I wanted to highlight the homeyness.

Kitchen of 1930s style apartment. (Link) (Link)

With these photos you can see the three rooms of this tenement. A small bedroom by the front door, a kitchen and a living room past it. The apartments for this building were electrified in 1924, so they have lights, and a radio and an electric fan in the living room.

The apartment had coin operated gas, which could be the black box on the wall by the front door. The gas also connects to a water heater for this apartment which can't really be seen, but it is connected to the stove.

The built in shelves by the table was custom built by the father of the family living here. Residents often painted or wallpapered their space when moving in to make it their own. According to the Tenement Museum, linoleum flooring was really common, and you can see how this apartment has linoleum designed to look like a rug.

Living room and bedroom of the same 1930 apartment. (Link) (Link)

The living room isn't very staged, I'm not sure why since I haven't taken the tour. There is a disassembled bed frame against the left wall, so it's possible a bed is usually set up in this room for the parents. Also the former resident of the apartment said it was sparsely furnished, so they may be trying to recreate that.

The ice box for this family is kept on the fire escape, which is not shown.

In the window of the living room you can see green plants. These are morning glories the father planted in re-purposed cheese boxes. According to the former resident, they got the cheese through welfare aid, and cheese always seemed to be in surplus from that program. The apartment has electricity and there is an electric fan on on the dresser with the mirror.

The second photo shows the bedroom, which is that angled room next to the front door in the kitchen. The red cloth covered thing in is a bed that was shared by two siblings and folded up and covered every day.

Look at all the colour! The patterned linoleum floors! The climbing flowers in the living room window! The radio in the nook by the kitchen table! These places were not dreary and brown just because they were old or cheap.

Recollections from the previous resident:

Rosaria [her mother] decorated the apartment by draping fabrics everywhere: lacy curtains at the windows, coverlets in the beds, skirts across the shelving that Adolfo [her father] built into the walls. The family kept birds as pets. They cultivated flowers; morning glories twined at the window. The radio played, day and night, as they laughed with Amos and Andy, hummed along with Fred Waring and his Pennsylvanians, and followed the puzzling, upper-middle-class lives of One Man's Family. (Link)

Also, when the previous resident came back to see the tenement museum of her childhood apartment, she noted that the place was messier than her mother ever kept it, so they fixed that. Tenements could be very clean and well kept, especially since cleanliness and health were something people judged.

I really wanted to show that while small and cheap, Steve’s apartments would have still been full of life and colour.

Tenement Museum hall toilet, circa 1904-1935 (Link)

I don't know what time period the museum has this toilet as, but you can see how small it was, and also that it has bright yellow walls!

This toilet has a leaflet of papers on the back wall, probably for toilet paper. As my toilet paper post discussed, toilet paper became more common with indoor plumbing due to clogged pipes and such, so I imagine this is early 1900s. I'm fairly certain Steve would be used to using toilet paper!

What's with all the indoor windows?

A lot of Old Law tenements have windows leading from one room to another. These are for airflow and light. They are also a sneaky way the landlords tried to get around the law that every room had to have a window. The New Law later required the windows to actually have access outside.

These windows are also known as tuberculosis windows. While they may have been a cop-out by landlords, they were still intended to improve airflow and light in narrow tenements which would otherwise have only one outward facing window.

I hope this overview gave you a broader understanding of what tenements could look like and some appreciation of the ways people brightened up their homes.

Many more tenement pictures found here:

This link has a lot more interior shots, but also some with homicide victims (!), so approach at your own risk.

This link has more images of the Tenement Museum, showing other bedrooms from different eras and different tenement rooms. While some are styled as late 1890s era apartments, they still reflect what rooms and life would and could have looked like.

Sunday Steve Masterpost