#-insecurities and other issues have been
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gachagon · 13 days ago
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@ Your analysis about how the P:EG cast is full of hypocrites:
Another huge contrast I thought of between them and the casts of the Danganronpa games is that with the DR casts I could see certain scenarios where all of them make it out alive. But with the Eden's Garden gang it feels like a murder was bound to happen.
And a big part of that in my mind is because the majority of murders in Danganronpa are due to the characters being manipulated by Monokuma & the Masterminds. Even Korekiyo who didn't even kill for the Necronomicon motive was still manipulated by Team Danganronpa into being a serial killer.
With the first case of Eden's Garden though that isn't the case. The motive didn't even factor into the case other than Eva stealing the taser gun from Desmond's room. Yeah Eva was on a time crunch because of the Traitor Perk but she was already planning to commit murder beforehand due to being worried that someone will kill her. The perk just made her quicker to put her plan into motion.
Honestly if one of the students had tried to say that "the one to blame for Wolfgang and Eva's deaths is Tozu" like what's usually done after executions in Danganronpa I feel like Tozu would have an actual leg to stand on unlike Monokuma.
He didn't start anything, he was merely fanning the flames that the students started.
I agree with this too because even though the rest of the class didn't take Eva seriously, when she was ranting about how "Any of you would've done what I did!" I kind of believed her. They're already so distrusting of one another, and them pretending that everything's okay while holding onto this serious distrust amongst each other is just fueling the Killing Game. If Tozu had left the puzzle for Desmond and it was a bullseye or something, would Desmond had shown anyone as well? If it was some special law puzzle that only Wolfgang could decipher, would he have shared it with the rest of the class?
I truly don't think so. I also noticed they blamed Eva for a lot of Tozu's actions, like when Tozu introduced the motive, Grace said "So we're in this mess because of the math girl? Typical..." because Tozu said he became inspired by Eva's outburst in the pharmacy over the watches.
But it's NOT Eva's fault, she's not the mastermind after all, she's in the same boat as them. But they still put the blame on her instead of being mad at Tozu for spying on all of them. I think the motive itself not factoring into the murder is a good plot point in the story, because you at first think that someone will kill to keep their secret hidden. Or maybe someone has a terrible secret that they don't even want another person knowing about.
I remember hearing that this is the type of Danganronpa where only 2 survivors will make it out, and usually that's not the case but I can definitely see it happening with this group. They're not killing each other or hating each other over the motives the Headmaster gives, it's because of how they treat one another instead T_T
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iguessitsjustme · 7 months ago
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Something I find fascinating about Wandee Goodday is that no one has kissed yet (I know Ye and Cher have kissed but...) Like not a full on make out session despite having an established couple in the show that they could be using to show us kisses. But we get no kiss sex scenes from Yak and Dee and soft, somewhat chaste scenes from Ye and Cher. We all know both couples are fucking. But the lack of kisses where normally the show would have one couple more active in that department tells me how important kissing is to this story.
Dee has stated that it's silly but he doesn't want to kiss unless he loves that person and is serious with them. But the entire show is respecting the no kiss rule which tells me that it's not silly. The entire show is respecting Dee's boundary here. And yes, Yak and Dee have come so close to kissing so many times, but they haven't. Dee has always pushed him away and Yak has always respected it when he does.
It makes me wonder what's going to happen once the main couple does eventually lock lips. Will that open the floodgates? Will the audience get to see both couples kissing then? Or will it continue to withhold that specific moment of intimacy. There's something the show is saying about the expected parts of intimacy being taken for granted and also deserving of privacy and that's up to the people in the relationship.
Kissing can be an act of love and desire, but what the show is saying is that it is not a requirement for those things. I can be completely talking out of my ass here, but something about this is really sitting with me. Not only do we get Plakao as ace representation, someone who wants a partner to cherish and be cherished without sexual expectations, but we also get the show reinforcing the ideas that love comes in all forms with so many different acts and different people are comfortable with different things. And all of that is okay. And all of those boundaries are worthy of being respected. Regardless of societies expectations for what it means to be in a relationship and be physical, whatever is right for you is right and isn't that just beautiful?
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kyojuuros · 4 months ago
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knowing communication is vital to a healthy relationship but never knowing how to start a conversation or holding back because you don't want to burden them with your emotions or say/do something that will push them away and just generally being socially inadept is such a fun time! :)
#i was so content being single why did i sign up for this again?#i like this person so much and i'm already so attached#and they've reassured me that they want to be with me also#but things are going so fucking slow and i think right now they have to#because of their mental state and things they are just trying to figure out about themselves and what they want#and i just want to be there for them through it and help them sort things out#but i guess some of the issue is they are mourning a relationship that they wanted but that didn't get to happen#but that apparently after we basically established yeah let's be a thing the other person reached in hopes they could meet each other#which like they told me it's more an issue now of letting the other person down easy and let them know they found a person to be with#but i'm just not coping with this knowledge very well at all#despite the reassurance from them that i'm the one they wanna be with#and i think i'm struggling because i'm probably jealous because they are friends and have been for years#and i don't want to be jealous i just wanna be chill about it#like i'm not going to be the person who makes them feel like they can't maintain their long term friendships#i won't be that person#but it makes me feel insecure like i'm competing against someone i don't even know#and i worry they're going to realize i just fucking suck and decide that to leave me to try something with that person instead#but i don't know how to even start a conversation or convey these feelings to them without fearing it's going to start some bullshit#that i don't want tainting the relationship#even outside of that like#i wanna know so many things about them but i don't even know where to start or if i can just ask them questions#everything scares me relationships are scary#i'm so fucking scared of being hurt again#ugh#personal#sorry i just needed to dump this somewhere because i've been bottling it up for a fucking week now#it did not make me feel better but at least i got the words out
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skrunksthatwunk · 1 year ago
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you go to a lesbian blog and find it says women only!! no men allowed!!! and go oh! excuse me, um, what about other lesbians? plenty of lesbians are genderqueer... and they go well, okay, go fuck yourself tim chop off your sweaty dick and stop calling yourself a lesbian. you do not have a dick, actually. you think about that fact often, even though it does you no good. you do not tell this person that.
you go to another lesbian blog and it says women only and you try again, and this time they change it to wlw + nblw only (non-men who love non-men :D). and you'll say hey i appreciate that but gender's not really that cut and dry for a lot of people. someone could be both a man and nonbinary, for instance. i just worry that you're looking at nonbinary as a generic third gender, or an extension of womanhood. i mean yeah you include nblw in your tags but all your posts are about pussy-havers exclusively. what's with that? and they say go fuck yourself you pervy man pretending to be a lesbian. you tried to sneak in but i won't let you.
so you go to a lesbian blog with a dozen or so posts about queer people needing to be more weird about it and you sigh in relief. but you still see the men dni. that's odd. hoping for the best, you say hey! i know you mean well but please maybe don't put men dni at the end of the lovely posts on your lesbian blog bc some lesbians are men. and they'll be like ok!! well you're allowed ;) and you say no that's not. no. some men are lesbians not just me. you think about your own dicklessness and wonder if that's why you were given entry. and you add that even if male lesbians are allowed, there's no indication of that. how would anyone know without asking? and they're like ohh gotcha gotcha well men dni + this is for sapphics only!! and you'll be like ok well that treats the concepts of men and sapphics as mutually exclusive identities and i just told you that's not true and you agreed with me so.. i don't think that solves our problem. and they're like. ok. fine. men dni but genderfluid and multigender people are allowed! and you're like no see that's. that's still the same thing.. you're saying the same thing just with different words. if you don't want men to interact but you're fine with multigender/genderfluid/etc ppl interacting then you either don't see them as Real Men (because they don't reach a standard of Full Manhood) or Complete Men (because they're only Part-Time Men), both of which suggest that they are, in some way, not men or less-than men, which is invalidating and defeats the point of the exception in the first place (accommodation) OR that you don't really mean the dni which is confusing and inconsistent and makes guydykes feel weird and uncomfortable and excluded from the lesbian space you're trying to cultivate. and they're like um. ok. so. cishet men dni? and you're like well i think that makes more sense, but what if someone identifies as both a cishet man and a sapphic? again, if we're trying to accommodate the genderfucky populace then that has to be a possibility that is considered. and they say god you people are never happy. what do you want me to do? what am i supposed to say to keep the right men out? and you pause. you empathize with the need for a space free from dudes trying to fuck you straight and feminine. dudes who watch lesbian porn and joke about what they'd do if they were allowed into girls locker rooms. who look at you like a piece of meat, and like someone who looks at women like pieces of meat in the same way he does. you get it. you know. you want a space where you can be sapphic, too. that's why you came to these blogs in the first place. you brace yourself and you say well i don't know that there are "right men" to keep out. i don't know that there's any single label that would accomplish whatever it is you're trying to accomplish. you could go for "sapphics only" or "queers only" and i think that might be the closest thing to what you want, but it's never going to be perfect. creating any exclusive space is going to shut out people you didn't account for, and the broader the label, the more people will be shut out that you didn't want to shut out. and what about people who don't know if they're allowed? what of questioning transbians, where are they supposed to go? and, frankly, i think i might rather my dykey posts get read and appreciated by a gay guy who sees me as a man than a woman who only sees me as a sacred womb, pure from male perversions or violence or whatever. i think community might just be more complex than a dni can handle. and they look at you and say i don't want to not have a dni. i think you're too permissive. you can't just "what about" or microlabel your way into everything. go fuck yourself, i bet you're not even a lesbian anyway. go find a real problem to get mad about.
you go to a lesbian blog. you ignore the men dni because you know you probably don't even count to them. or maybe you do count and, out of respect for your manhood, they'd shun you accordingly. you try to feel okay about that. you scroll past dozens of posts about mediocre men and gagging at straight friends' boyfriends and how gross and undeserving men are of the beautiful women they couple up with and how all women should be gay so they can get treated right and and and and and. you finally find a post about curling into someone you love and feeling at peace and try to lose yourself in it. you know that feeling is what unites you, what makes you belong. you try to focus on it. you think about carding your hands through a butch's hair or lacing fingers with a femme and feeling warm and loved and more yourself than you ever have before. like this is who you're meant to be. you read about lesboys and butch boytoys and genderfucky dykes and big hairy deep-voiced wonderful women (like you want to be someday, like you wish you could make yourself) and you try to ignore the men dni underneath each and every post. and you daydream about meeting someone kind and earnest at a lesbian bar even though you don't think any such bars exist within three states of you and you can't drink and don't want to drink because you need to be in control of yourself at all times so you don't fuck up like you're always about to and here in the nonexistent lesbian bar you feel wanted and safe and in good company. you picture your ideal, happiest self. it is a mistake. ideal-you has a goatee. not the mascara one you smear on and call drag even though you know it's not drag, not really, the beard you call drag because you think everyone would look at you sadly if you told them it was just to pretend you had something out of your reach. a beard that's soft and that you grew and that cannot be smudged away if you get too comfortable with it. the dream shatters. your people pull away from you, their scoffs mixing with the mind-numbing gay girl bedroom pop you learned to settle for just to have something that almost resembled you, they all pull away and turn their backs and do not look at you. you're too close to being a man now, even though you're the same amount of man as before. and they know you're not supposed to interact with men, not as you would with dykes, at least. and it sours. it's all your imagination, all in your head, but it sours.
you sigh. you think about how small you are. how short, how narrow, how feeble. how your voice pitches up when you talk to strangers because it's easier to speak quietly when it carries more, and because you're nervous. because it's a chore to talk, like everything is. you think about testosterone. you think about how your family would look at you, the questions they would ask, your answers they would only pretend to accept. the uncomfortable glances and whispered questions they'd try to hide from you. you think about how small you are, and how small you will always be. how you don't know of a way to fix it, but even if there was one, no one would want you anymore. you'd be the only one thinking it made you a cooler dyke. you think about how you don't even want a T-voice all the time, how you'll never be able to switch it at will, because you don't know how and can't bring yourself to figure it out. you think about how your throat closes around every hint of your own attraction. how wanting is perverse, how wanting is invasive, how wanting is embarrassing and too vulnerable so it must stay anonymous, as an online witness, and how you can barely manage to form or maintain friendships because your brain makes you pull away, always spinning out and struggling to recover from the simplest of interactions. how they'll all leave you and you won't chase after them at all and how that will hurt them. how stuck you get. how it looks like nothing's holding you back, how that frustrates everyone who thought you were going to be more than you were. the people you love who understand except when it comes to being ghosted, being shut out. how you don't want to hurt them. how you can't tell them that because you're stuck. how you turn to stone when touched, how you never reach out, how you lose your speech and can't look at people, how your autism is fun and sexy until it becomes real and you never see them anymore, how much you longed for someone who knew everything without you having to explain, and who loved you anyway. how unreasonable you know that is to expect of anyone. you think about that not-even-real lesbian bar. you think about how you still can't drive. how you can't leave your home on your own, without dragging somebody into helping you. how you can't leave your body. how you can't leave your manhood behind.
you think about finding another lesbian blog and ignoring everything. about skimming it for the parts you can juice some meaning from. the parts men ignore and don't understand, and how typical of you it is to do so. or the parts where you're not welcome and you should accept that, because it's for lesbians only. how you are a lesbian anyway. how you're meant to choose lesbian or man, how each is a betrayal of some kind to yourself or your people, your family, your lovely strangers, your rare friendly acquaintances. about the parts that tell you you're not wanted, that you're ugly and lazy and gross and insert yourself everywhere without even asking. about the parts that tell you you are hated, and how lesbians are above it all by rejecting men. how lesbians are each blessed miracles. about the parts that say you should be ashamed of being whatever twisted confused freak you are, of everything, of looking and wanting or not looking or not wanting, of picking and choosing instead of taking it all in with a smile. after all, shouldn't you take it? or is your ego too fragile, as men's so often are? aren't you tired? good. we're not here for your consumption. and we sure as hell don't want your company or "community" or whatever. didn't you read the sign? no boys allowed. and if you want to come in you have to make up your mind. as if you haven't told them the only answer you have. you're both. you're both.
you know you broke the rule by interacting.
but it gets lonely sometimes. you wonder if they know.
#before i maybe get yelled at:#1) no i do not think ppl are evil for having men dnis no i do not think these are all equal transgressions even#though there is an overlap that should be examined that i think is based in a degree of lesbian separatism + exclusionism#2) yes there are lesbian blogs and people that are cool about genderfucky people. i'm not talking about them#3) this is a stylized vent post about trying to find lesbian content on tumblr that isn't like this. all these dnis/rules are ones i have#encountered. no i do not literally tell these people to change their dnis to suit me. the conversations are symbolic and ideological in#nature. if i find a blog with men dni i generally go somewhere else. it's about emotions. it's about my feelings on that it's not literally#about dming someone demanding they change things. it's not about demanding that You change things or else you're a bad person.#4) it is about the conflicts and hypocrisy and inconsistency of strict and exclusive sexuality labels persisting in gender-diverse spaces#and how it affects me as a lesbian who is a man who is a woman who is fucking whatever else. and yes it is about transphobia too.#5) it's about how lesbians feel the need to exclude men and how i think efforts to do so fail and hurt ppl and are often misguided#tht i think also comes up in like. bi lesbian/mspec lesbian/gaybian discourse. i'm not any of those myself but it seems like there's overla#6) if this post seems whiny and sad and insecure that's because it probably is. i have a right to be all of those things.#7) no i do not think all lesbians are man-hating assholes. i am a lesbian. i love lesbians. i love dykes and most of them are fantastic ppl#i just think the general bullshit of the world leads to this defensive thing that ends up hurting others in our community y'know?#8) i get that my perspective/experience is a bit unusual and many lovely ppl haven't considered it. that's part of why i'm sharing this#nyarla dni#<- sorry man it's too vulnerable. gonna keep this one to the internet-only folks#adding this wayy later but a crucial part of the experience i Almost talked about it this but never explicitly did was that like#the measures ppl take to 'defend against men' are often deeply transmisogynistic as well. obviously#and when i see that it hurts me too. not that it hits me the same way when strangers assume im a trans woman and hate me for it#but it doesn't feel good to see transphobia at all. i focused on how that relates to other kinds of transphobia#namely transandrophobia here but like. it's all connected. lesbain separatism + exclusionism relies on both and they aren't always#distinct experiences. ime. anyway trans ppl i love all of you forever#i just thought me writing “*turns to the camera* and trans women exp this too.' wouldve been too much even for this post#i figured the audience would like. know that. and so far it hasn't been an issue. i have not been yelled at thanks guys 🫶
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wanderingmind867 · 9 months ago
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Scott is is still lonely. He's still terrified to open up to people, which is relatable. I mean, I've got no friends besides my dad (and I'm dependent on him). I know loneliness (X-Men #32):
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mc-critical · 1 month ago
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Bonus:
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2.22 (46) / 2.24 (48) / 2.25 (49) / 2.35 (59) / 2.39 (63)
#like servant like sultana huh? but this time it's *Mahidevran* who apparently mirrors Gülşah as we see her rule later. both got these#positions so unexpectedly - it should've probably been someone else but it's them and they're *thrilled* as they can finally achieve what#they've always wanted through these promotions: to command power over these so despised people that have disrespected them; that they've#been embarrassed by; that have even taken their most cherished away; for Gülşah it's something more general/all-encompassing opposed by#many people while for Mahidevran it's something more specific opposed by a single person but both *feel* that same drive to seek#accountability and justice to the point of enacting revenge anyway. they both ultimately get carried away by that pull. they both operate#by letting people know they're in charge through pulling rank as an absolute lecturing that precise tradition and order that puts them#above brazenly issuing orders to discredit and/or outright punish those who've offended them: it's one person Mahi/Gülşah have a particular#beef with during their rules (Daye/Hürrem respectively) but Gülşah didn't show any resentment of Daye until that point thus Daye is more#the cumulative power Gülşah is starting to lord above while Hü is that exact hurt for Mahi bringing it all back to the general vs. personal#there're other notable differences here like in their speeches about order/tradition because quite a part of Mahi actually believes in#the good these traditions can bring and their necessity as much as she resents their restrictive ruthlessness but Gülşah doesn't believe in#any tradition really she just mirrors what she's seen and known her entire life using it just for her goals no more no less;#for Gülşah all will be okay only when they do what she says because she's so understandably insecure about her authority over *everyone*#while for Mahi all will be fine only when the order is kept in general including there being no unrest among the concubines#(hence peace; another pre-Manisa to post-Manisa transitional point perhaps?); they both want 2 certain ağas to “understand” but while they#say they do without much/any question for Mahi no matter how much they dislike it they are almost forced to by Gülşah and they don't hide#not their dislike but *disregard*; even Gülşah's short rule is telling of her position: SS dismissing her is completely out of her control#she's removed before even doing all that much - another symbolic reminder of how little agency she has - while SS dismissed Mahi because#she truly screwed up a lot in spite of her being framed this is the one time she was given *all* the agency; they both encounter the person#they're replaced with but with Gülşah it happens immediately to highlight the out-of-reach suddenness while with Mahi it happens afterwards#as a result almost. I included the bonus parallels because while Mahi didn't rule the harem then it was almost a set-up for that with a S2B#bent to it while Gülşah as treasurer highlights that this is indeed a harem within the harem; it's Mustafa's harem now as a preparation for#Manisa while also being a culmination of Gülşah's own arc (I kind of like that in spite of their relations being brought back to normal#Gülşah still doesn't have that many scenes with Mahi or in general compared to S01; it adds to this little rule's culminative feel)#also Mahi looking carefully through the concubines to truly pick who she thinks is best while Gülşah is just ecstatic to make calls at all!#magnificent century#muhteşem yüzyıl#mahidevran sultan#gulsah hatun
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venusinsilk · 5 months ago
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One thing that my bestie pointed out to me tonight that disgusted me and made me immediately recoil- my behavior has been changing because of the Boy and whether or not he engages with me, and my mood is hinged on whether or not he gives me attention. 🤮 ewwwww!!! Cut that out right now!! Of course it's normal and fine but I don't need that! Especially right now, post breakup, my life is a mess. The sex was amazing but I need to start detaching myself from him because he changed SO MUCH in the past 4 weeks. He played a looooong game to get to me. Bought pastries from me twice in the past year, sent me messages every day, got his tattoos at a shop in my neighborhood, asked me out, and now he barely talks to me. Which is so bizarre. But maybe he believes he can kick back and stop trying because he thinks I've fallen to my knees for him? I really can't try to decipher his behavior nor do I want to. He is pretty immature (hence "the Boy") and if he wasn't so talented in bed I would've stopped engaging with him from the first time we hung out.
Due to my apartment ceiling caving in, I'm couch surfing. He knows this and offered to get us a hotel room this weekend. This is a final chance to see if he can do something an adult man would do, and follow through with a plan. If he doesn't, I'm going to tell him he disappointed me and I don't have space for that right now in my very busy, very stressful life. So he won't be coming back to my apartment after the ceiling is fixed.... and I guess I'll never be invited over to his place because he lives with his parents! Oops 😬 🤭
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seventh-district · 8 months ago
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not even gonna tag this properly bc i don't wanna get Involved but i do have some Thoughts i need to get out into the void so here we go
(aaa quick edit: CW for mention/discussion of Boothill leaks)
#today's gone Badly and i'm upset but instead of venting abt it i'm gonna channel that energy into doing a bit of tag rambling abt Boothill#well. less abt Him and more abt uh. self-analyzing my anxiety surrounding contributing to fandoms. he's just today's catalyst#like. i know it's mostly a me thing. i'm hypersensitive to criticism and very conflict avoidant + socially anxious + perfectionistic etc.#so I'm the one that keeps myself from posting more stuff out of fear of being criticized or called-out for what i've made#bc inevitably Someone's gonna see it and think its OOC or a problematic take or they'll misread my intent. etc etc what have you#but like. that's inevitable. there's no way to communicate every single thing with all of the nuance required to avoid misunderstandings#and other times it's not a misunderstanding it's just a difference of opinions and that's Fine!! there's no accounting for personal taste#there's no accounting for several things actually. taste‚ bias‚ lore-knowledge‚ differing levels of chronic-online-ness‚ etc#so this isn't me complaining abt the state of fandom culture (although i do think. sometimes. ppl take shit a bit too seriously)#but anyways all of this is mostly just anxiety-fueled. it's not like i very often actually even receive negative feedback or anything#if anything ppl tend to tell me that i'm overthinking it and killing my own fun and worried that my stuff is more OOC than it is#which like. yeah. Yeah u right :) but that's just the way that i am! always losing the idgaf war i suppose#anyways what's Boothill got to do w this ur wondering. well. i've been thinking abt the quickly emerging concept that he's illiterate.#and it just. has me feeling a lot of ways. and watching ppl disagree over it has me feeling some Bad ways. bc it's def a loaded topic!#if you'll pardon the pun there. and i don't rlly have anything new to add other than that i'm conflicted abt it.#like yeah i saw the leaks days ago. of him mentioning 'not hitting the books' much as a child when we ask him why he sends voice messages#or voice Transcriptions ig. ykwim. and like. *braces for impact* ...i liked it? like. it doesn't feel right to call it endearing#i'm not trying to infantilize him. ok that's not the right word either but ugh. you know? what i mean?? who am i kidding even i don't know#it's not quite right to say that it feels like Representation either. but it's something close i guess#as a southern person myself who didn't receive a 'complete' education due to factors that weren't to do with my intelligence#the concept of seeing him as a capable force to be reckoned with and respected who also happens to have not received much formal education#i like that. i do. but there's so many issues w it at the same time. like. as i said‚ being southern myself has me Wary of the way Hoyo is-#writing him. as well as of the way that the fandom is taking the bits of his lore and running away w them. and i'm Very aware of how ppl-#will see a southern character and be All Too Eager to agree that they're lacking intelligence based on our Redneck™ stereotype#sigh. and before we even go too far with this. it's not even confirmed that hes completely illiterate. which is a valid criticism i've seen#there's Multiple reasons that could make him prefer voice to text. but regardless. i'm just worried that ppl will misconstrue my intentions#like. example: that edit i made the other day of him saying 'no thanks i can't read'. wasn't me playing into the stereotype of-#'haha dumb country boy can't read!' it was. in my eyes. something he'd say as a joke to make light of a potential insecurity#like. i think there's far more depth to Boothill's character if ppl could look past the surface. and i dont wanna contribute to the problem#but sometimes ppl Will have stereotypical traits and i wish the same could apply to characters as long as it's done Thoughtfully.
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dewgongs · 2 months ago
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ughh why do i have to have njghtmares about them
#in it i was fighting w him over text and then hetm gangsd uep on me#sorry uemin so tired#i have been having a hard time being labelled a quote unquote cheater when i very strongly feel like thats not what happened#and it bothers me knowing that they get to justify their side and avoid responsibility by calling me that#when again. we were literally broken up when i sent that text to the wrong chat#and to be even more fair to me it was the lightest thing of all time it was playful kissies and lovings#like all of this is so wack. like to be labelled that while doing something so small while we werent even together#the drawing stuff is literally normal . ive done that with my kther friends before i even met sable. you are ridiculous#like it just aggrivates me because thats such a sticky smear to put on somebody especially when thats not even what happened#its so overblown and i think thats on purpose to have one last thing to justify your side#and ignore the fact that he was not the best partner to me and stressed me tf out all the time#like how am i a cheater when i played by your rules the whole time we were together#because of how insecure you are. uou let your insecurity become your reality#and i realized how much more taken care of i was with angelo and how naturally we flow together#its so natural to talk to him he is what i have needed. i would be foolish not to pick prince charming#over someone who i felt only fed me stress and anxiety and worry about everything including potential addiction issues#knowing theyre bipolar. knowing they have bpd. participating in dangerous behavior all the time#i feel like calling me a cheater when thats not what fuckin happened is just to handwave away wtf you did wrong the entire time#if i actually cheated id have been slobbering on angels meat the whole time like im sorry#id have been doing spins on it and gagging on it every night but the thing is i didnt#i stayed loyal to you while with you and confided in them as friends while you continuously demanded time from me#that wasnt organic and it was forced half of the time . god i hated playing shit with your stupid ass#so fucking monotone always wanting to do the same shit no variety and always getting upset and throwing tantrums over the smallest things#n then when that behavior once again gets put on me and i get more fucking stressed yeah i turn to my other friends#that arent anything like the other friendgroup because they dont do shit about anything and dont really gaf about snything#except for their own problems#and i confide in the other group because they actually show that they care about me. they relieve stress for me like friends are supposed 2
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gods-favorite-autistic · 3 months ago
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Hmmm I wonder why I cling to the fact that I’m smart and crave academic validation so much and immediately feel really good anytime someone reminds me that I am smart
*sibling had 4.8 gpa. sibling called me dumb a million times. sibling says I have no common sense every single time they’re yelling at me. sibling makes fun of me for not being smart any chance they get*
Oh
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quiexxxent · 8 months ago
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oversharing hour...
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alasy · 1 year ago
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advices are welcome because i ✨dont know anything anymore✨
#this friend of mine is the sweetest#we always got along even though we're very different#in the way that im a very closed off person i dont like social media and i will not reply to texts and its nothing personal its just me#he on the other hand is very talkative. loves showing affection and has like 3 different podcasts and he's friends with literally everyone#long story short he graduated and moved cities it's been 3 months#also i went through a very bad depressive episode and im still crawling out of it#he says im distant and its not because the lack of texts but because there isnt a way to communicate with me#i say im depressed and its disappearing is nothing new and he knows this. that all im asking is time#he says he's anxious and has abandonment issues and that his love language is words of affirmation#i say i was never a person that says much from the beginning and listed all other things ive done and sacrifice myself for him#he says he understands and he feels loved and cared for by me. still his love language is words of affirmation and he needs it#it feels like a demand even though he keeps saying it's not#he says there's nothing wrong with me being an overall absent person and that the problem is with him#his insecurities and words of affirmation is the way out of it#and i dont know what to do anymore#i want someone to tell me im in the wrong and that friends give in for each other#but everyone keeps saying this is not okay and i dont know i understand where he's coming from#i just .... im so tired#'ik you said you dont have energy but do you see where im coming from?' left a bad taste in my mouth#idk my heart is heavy im so exhausted and i wish he had read that damn text i sent him carefully and not rushed to replu#reply*#how can a person respect your boundaries and still cross them and then no it's actually you misunderstanding?#aita#personal
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doublesidedgemini · 1 year ago
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Tw scale mention
I also ate 2 packs of ramen yesterday so I’m scared to step on the scale today but I think I have to so I know how I’m starting 2024 and can come prepared to complete my transformation into a skinny legend this year
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todayisafridaynight · 2 years ago
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Firstly, thanks so much for your patience with my ramblings haha, it's always an absolute pleasure to read your responses even if I get more unhinged with each one of mine! Of course, I'll continue to do my best with the wiki! (Actually, I think it's because of you that I noticed Daigo's age(s) were a year off haha, so thank you for that as well.)
I think you hit the nail on the head, and I adore how his relationships were executed in Y7 as well! I was initially a little bit apprehensive when trailers for 7 were coming out since RGGJo (and Mine, of course) were my favorite antagonists, and Jo is by far the character who's changed the most between games, but I can safely say both… Joes… are right up there for me.
I think a strong early subversion/conversion/something is that RGGJo really does just go and shoot up a rival office for attacking Arakawa (even though Arakawa was fine?). With Y7Jo, even though he's covering for Masato, the fact that's still the story Ichi gets told and he doesn't question it sort of speaks to Y7Jo having a similarly "protective" streak even if it's not actually what happened in that instance. That's also demonstrated in The Eye Scene as you mention later.
Like, I think that story is fairly clearly something he and Arakawa discussed. Masato got in contact with Jo first, and the mess Ichi tries to clear up when he comes in the morning after is indicative of a very long, stressful conversation between two people. Given Masato absolutely should not be smoking, process of elimination would suggest it's Jo. And it's a story they would've aimed to make as believable as possible, so the fact it is believable (Ichi being a bit gullible notwithstanding) says something to me.
For two characters who hardly even speak to each other onscreen (criminal btw), there's a lot to dig into when it comes to Arakawa and Sawashiro's relationship. That aside, I'm super excited to see you analyse Jo's psyche, and I can't wait to read it! I've been reading Japanese psychology texts myself and noticing a number of concepts that apply to Mine, but may apply to the Arakawas as well. There's a great deal I want to share once I get my thoughts in order.
I totally agree Mine's influence on RGGJo was the strongest of the three! I mean, y'know, that's why I acquired brainworms for RGGJo/Mine specifically. (Still 1000% going to commission you by the way when I've got my refs together + am not in danger of being unable to afford Gaiden and 8 lol). Sort of like with Masato and Daigo, I think characters who are clearly based on each other work quite well together even if it's seen as crack. You can come up with pretty compelling ideas trying to rationalize those similarities from a Watsonian perspective.
The devotion is absolutely the strongest point (having the exact same relationship tag for Arakawa and Daigo respectively + similar wording for it in the 15th anniversary book is a nice touch), but for me it's also what's done with it in terms of presentation. For both Mine and RGGJo you're supposed to believe they're actively working against Daigo and Arakawa's interests for most of the story.
And they probably kind of are, but they're convinced the pros outweigh the cons (as with the resort gambit, which you're remembering correctly!) Though it may not have the same effect nowadays for various reasons (spoilers, plot points becoming predictable on account of other games, etc), the devotion was originally supposed to be a twist.
There are other things, of course; they're both the "treasurers" of their respective organizations, they're both third-in-command of the Tojo and Omi, they're both talented people who possess overwhelming strength and influence and are regarded as geniuses (despite scenes to the contrary). If I wanted to reach design-wise, they've got mirrored ahoges, and Mine's "Legend" costume is probably based on characters like RGGJo and Nishiki. Their first cards were even officially stated to have synergy on account of their very similar skillset.
You end up noticing a lot of things like that if you're clinically insane like I am, but the one thing that's really stuck with me is that the render used for RGGJo's office is specifically a new render the Hakuho Clan office. It's missing the stuff that's supposed to be missing, the stuff Kanda broke, but only that. Mine's art collection, which is very personal to him as is also revealed in RGGO, is preserved in full.
There are a number of newly-rendered locations in RGGO and they could've just done that, or they could've picked any location that's not (imo) one of the most iconic, but I don't know why they didn't. And I don't know whether it was just convenience, whether it's simply meant to be reflective of them having similar tastes without being the same office, or whether it's just honest to God the same office. I mean, it's not like there's any reason to acknowledge it in-game.
But I think, in a weird way, that this is one of the things that carried over to Y7Jo alongside the devotion and The Eye Scene. A lot of people don't notice because there's so much going on in Y7's finale, but the Arakawa Family office the finale takes place in is specifically Y7Jo's office. And if you examine the Hakuho Clan office and the Arakawa Family office as spaces Mine and Y7Jo have created for themselves, there are very few aesthetic similarities other than being pretty tasteful two-storey offices, but both are, in their own ways, designed for companionship.
There is the obvious fully-stocked bar and main seating area in both, but that's sort of whatever, that's entertainment and hospitality. What really catches my eye, at least on the first floor, is that every piece of gym equipment in Mine's office comes in pairs; similarly, there's the pair of armchairs that are just by themselves behind Y7Jo's desk.
The second floor of Mine's office basically consists of only a TV, a table, and a set of couches, but I think the second floor of of 7Jo's is the more telling of the two. You walk upstairs from this very snazzy, richly decorated first floor (btw, like Mine's gym equipment and art, I would like to think the fact it's decked from top to bottom with books isn't just for show) to a second floor that consists of… absolutely nothing.
Nothing except another pair of armchairs, echoing those on the first floor, facing out into this gorgeous (RGGJou would--and has--said "romantic") view of Kamurocho. Maybe it's just to have this dramatic, spacious arena for the very last fight, but I just think that visual is potentially such a strong bit of storytelling via set dressing.
I also think with RGGJo being split into Y7Jo and Masato, some of the Mine influence kind of ended up with Masato too, specifically as Aoki. At least insofar as all the catastrophizing about not truly being cared-for despite evidence to the contrary, and I kind of felt like the moment where he shoots at and narrowly misses Ichi's head, then throws his gun away for a good ol' fistfight was Something.
Completely agree on your assessment of the link to Nishiki as well! There's the surface level design similarities with young RGGJo back when he had long hair and accessorized less, but yeah, no notes. I definitely think Y7Arakawa's line applies perfectly to the dynamic they were going for, too.
I thought the implication was that Masato wouldn't have survived at all in RGGO on account of Arakawa being unable to open the locker, but it's super interesting to think about how things might've turned out otherwise! A Masato who's Just A Guy and treated sort of like RGGO Mitsu's offscreen wife and kid is such a concept.
I really do hope there's a continuation to the story; as it stands, it literally ends with Jo in a coma lol. But I'm grateful RGGO is still accessible and actively updated, in comparison to the previous mobile titles, which also had original stories that are all gone now.
Jo was actually in a very recent event, even. The event spent its whole runtime talking about how cats are sensitive to smell, and evidently, according to the ending, Jo is incredibly sensitive to smell himself. I'm not sure which Jo it was even supposed to be since he was offscreen, but uh, catboy confirmed? Nyawashiro…? It's fun trivia.
Mentioning Arakawa's "sons" line in such close proximity to talking about Tsutsumi reminds me! There was this Y7 interview with all three actors (that has since been privated and that I kick myself every day for archiving) where Nakai and Tsutsumi were talking about how they usually play father and son.
So there's this very, very long history of them co-starring (as I'm sure you're aware lol), like from way back when Tsutsumi's voice was actually higher. And I think the casting choices absolutely are informed by the history and context there, both as individuals and as co-stars, both in terms of filmography as you say and not.
One particular anecdote that just Gets Me is that this was Tsutsumi's first time voice-acting, and he honestly wasn't even sure he'd take the role, but he accepted once he heard Nakai was on board. And he went on to actually enjoy it so much he read the rest of the (gargantuan) script, far beyond his own dialogue, and ended up forgetting the lines to the play he was doing at the time.
He also went on to voice-act a second time in The Deer King, where he plays… another iintimidating man with a violent reputation and a "soft"/deeper side (who is of course a reluctant father), actually. I actually have seen most of his other roles, and Jo really is almost one-of-a-kind. Though it's hard to find any one character he's "like," I can absolutely see what you mean with regard to Oda Nobunaga and Kanda.
I think that actually really works with regard to audiences having an idea of what to expect from his character and to an extent from Y7 if you look Jo as more of a culmination of Tsutsumi's career up to that point. In addition to what you've mentioned already, I also detect a lot of Koda (Good Luck!!) and Ogata (SP)'s themes with regret and making amends and vengeance in particular.
There's a little bit of Appare (Kagerou Touge) and Shibata (Keiho) too, I think, in terms of presenting yourself as worse than you actually are. And I think Tsutsumi's own struggles with mental health lend a lot of gravitas to characters like Ishigami (Suspect X) and Jo, who you can't really argue Isn't Depressed, especially at present.
And of course, y'know, he's played yakuza (to great effect), he's played dads (to great effect; btw, I would say the worst fathers/father figures he's played are probably in Fable II and My Blood & Bones in a Flowing Galaxy, Jo somehow doesn't even compare lol). Also, pretty much every Tsutsumi character either ends up dead or in jail, being a villain in an RGG game notwithstanding. There are often very strong critiques of police and politics present in his work as well, Y7 being no exception.
It's similar with Nakai, maybe to an even greater extent than with Tsutsumi, since Y7 borrows more heavily from his works and his personal life aligns surprisingly well with Arakawa's. They're both actors who are sons of actors, lost their fathers at a young age, were raised by abusive mothers, and ended up with a sort of unlikely father figure in adulthood. So I think it's sweet that Nakai ended up enjoying Arakawa as much as Tsutsumi did Jo. It's kind of funny being more or less typecast as a dad without actually having any children (unlike Tsutsumi), though.
I touched on it a tiny bit before but that's a really insightful take on RGGJo's splintering, as well! And you're most welcome. I've always found it fascinating just how closely their backgrounds tie in to who they end up being. I completely agree having his dad around did a lot for Arakawa in terms of having the confidence to stick to his guns.
But yeah, you know, it's just tragic. I think it's also one of the less talked-about ways abuse can perpetuate itself. Because Jo treating Ichi the way his father may have treated him is sort of the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the topic, but Jo's learned avoidance also goes on to make Arakawa a scapegoat for Aoki's abuse.
I'm always a fan of your takes and insights, so I don't mind the wait: thank you so much for writing as much as you have, it's really wonderful being able to discuss Jo and RGGO v. Y7 as a whole! (I have to be embarrassed about the Daigo's-Age bit though: I'm glad I was able to help point it out, but I remember being so sassy and rude in the post where I mentioned it 😭)
It's great that despite their differences, both Jo's are still incredibly enjoyable; the roles each Jo fulfills, although different, are still executed in ways that keep the character in a close beat with each other, but of course effectively fill out their new purposes in new interesting ways!
As a bit of an aside, I've always been curious and nosy about the full details about New Years Day, 2001 and what happened after that. Anything I can say about the night tiptoes more into theory territory than anything solid, but if we're to go off the notion Masato really did head straight home afterwards, then it is fair to assume Jo had to have met with Arakawa that same night not long after the call in order for Arakawa to be ready to talk to Ichi the same morning (it must have been the biggest shock afterwards for Masato to hear he's gotta run to America if the three of them didn't talk about it together- which I'm assuming is what happened since, as you said, Masato shouldn't be anywhere near cigarettes, and the ash tray is definitely indicative of a stressful discussion). BUT Jo's preexisting devotion to Arakawa (plus the nod to/rework of RGGJo actually attacking a rival gang) nonetheless definitely helped in making their story digestible to the people they had to tell.
The fact Jo and Arakawa interact so little on screen really is unfortunate, even if it's understandable as to why. At the very least, I'm grateful there's so many bits of context clues through the game/s that can at least offer a peak into their dynamic! Segwaying away from that though, I can't lie I was already thinking of some bullet points regarding Jo's brain as I was falling asleep, so it's definitely something I want to put to paper when I get to: I'm glad to hear I have your interest on it when I write it! In that same vein, I'd be more than happy as well to hear about these notes you've seen that can apply not only to Mine, but to the Arakawa family. As you note later on, Mine and Aoki share similar philosophies, so I'd love to see your full take on that if you get to it!
About Mine though, it was really hard for me not to joke about the two being similar whenever the chance arose: I mean, two men who lose their fathers (admittedly, Jo chose to leave his dad but Dad Lost is still a bullet point on the venn diagram... that now I actually feel like taking the time to make later...) turn out to become their respective clan's most trusted asset (and handler of assets) who are volatile when it comes to the ones they care about (I don't have to clarify Mine, but as for Jo, aside from The Eye Scene and even the book wording, he definitely overreacts to Ichi having Masato's money. Of course, part of his anger could be due to his belief in the honor of being a yakuza, but I wouldn't say it's a reach to also assume that the idea of Ichi pestering Masato- if not assuming the worst for whatever reason from Ichiban of all people- might have irked him) and ironically act out in ways that would go against what the ones they care about want (more so strictly about RGGJo, of course)- it's hard not to see the notes borrowed from Mine to make Jo. In that, I do really enjoy their devotions being twists; even if that twist might not work nowadays as efficiently, I'll still enjoy it for what it's able to provide and how it can deepen a character.
To continue on to visual similarities, I actually did notice RGGJo's office being the same as Mine's (I stopped reading for a bit just to make a mini thread about it on my private Twitter)! Whether it was intentional or a simple reuse of assets, it's a great nod to Mine's influence on his character.
As for Y7Jo's office in comparison to Mine's- if I may accidentally go on a bit of an analytical rant- it's a little funny how different they are despite being tangential in wanting a space for companionship (like you mentioned for Jo's case, it might have been for dramatic purposes, but it wouldn't hurt to try and examine the room at face value for a second).
Mine's office is comparatively brighter and more apparently inviting, and it's not just due to the nighttime setting of Jo's office as his office's walls are painted black- but at the same time, the contrast almost feels intentional. Mine's apartment, even if spacious, has the social pieces close to each other, especially in relation to his personal desk. On the flip side, Jo's desk is considerably isolated away from the grand table in the side of the room. In these differences, I think it does lead to a great representation of their relationships with people and what they wanted out of life: with Mine, despite wanting people to be close to him and in his proximity, he's ultimately alone and by himself. On the contrary, Jo appears satisfied with- at least- only having Masato in his life, the second chair undoubtedly being honorary to Arakawa in a similar vein. He isn't too concerned with getting close to anyone else, thus no need for his table set to be so nearby. I could just be talking about nothing though- yet I think these differences is a great way to show how despite inspiration from Mine, they divide off into different characters still (honestly I might steal from this ask and make a separate post about this because now I've gotten myself invested in set design- it can go in the same post as my venn diagram I guess lmao).
Nevertheless, RGGJo and Mine borrowing from each other design wise is also another fun bit- it's as if Yokoyama's grabbing people by the shoulders and practically begging us to realize Jo's influenced by him (don't worry Mr. Yokoyama, I see you). Ergo, Y7Jo and Masato being split from RGGJo is such an interesting take of the two characters: it not only helps highlight Jo's traits it really also heightens Mine's extended influence on Masato (their inability to shoot people standing still is probably going to be a new favorite comparison I hadn't noticed before LMAO).
Moving on though, that lost interview with Nakai and Tsutsumi's going to haunt me now: I'd love to be able to see it, I love actor interviews, especially when the actors featured are already so familiar with each other! It's so sweet how connected the two are- it's what makes it a little more unfortunate that we didn't get to see Jo and Arakawa on screen together more. On that note though, I actually had a similar conclusion that Jo was a solid representation of Tsutsumi's career thus far: his ability to play deep and sentimental characters that have a rough exterior while also possessing some action to the role that he initially sought after in his career really encapsulates his ability as an actor! All in all, I'm glad that Nakai and Tsutsumi were able to have strong connections to their characters in Y7- and I can't really argue against Nakai's dad-typecast: there's just something about him that screams 'father' to me even if, ironically as you said, he isn't a father to any kids.
#long post#fave#snap chats#i have more notes down here hi LMAO#honestly i do wonder what Just A Guy masato wouldve been like.. tho tbf before The Murder masato /was/ kind of Just A Guy#an insecure guy with issues sure but i doubt he wouldve gone on to do anything criminal/abhorrent had it not been for That Night#ah but speaking of That Night and arakawa and jo having to talk about it if always wanted to go into that on my own time#i guess more appropriately put it as portray how i imagine that scene went down but thats somethin i can think of another time#and that reminds me ! absolutely no pressure about the commission btw take all the time you need !#im excited to get to it when you are ready though i wont lie but again it's no pressure! im not going anywhere :)#honestly ill be real somehow with all of the films and movies ive seen i didnt get to catch nakai and tsutsumi together on other projects#i know they starred in Musashi together but i didnt realize their co-starship went deeper!#trying to watch japanese medias so hard sometimes because while most of it i can find easy#trying to find movies like 47 Ronin in Debt was arduous and others like Fly Daddy Fly are just impossible 😷#oh well- that just means i have to be extra grateful for the films i have access to#speaking of tsutsumi's characters' mortalities tho ngl one of my favorite roles he plays is toru from Pure (1996)#and him Spoilers dying via metal pipes still guts me it makes me laugh more than it should ☠️☠️#then there's the 'fakeout' deaths from Meishi Game and Why Don't You Play In Hell#or. at least i /think/ the latter was a fake out.... im p sure hirata's just so delusional he's imagining everyones alive#unimportant tho Again im just prattling down here LMAO#one more thing i wanna ramble on is about how jo and arakawa handle aoki's abuse- and its going back into personal anecdotes oopsie#more specifically on how arakawa becomes the main subject of aoki's anger because jo is considerably more docile#at the very least it reminds me of whenever one of my sisters would be in trouble so they'd dodge home leaving my to get yelled at LMAO#rip RGGJo hes stuck in a coma PLEAAASE truly in nature with a tsutsumi character to just. Die ☠️#and lest i neglect catboy canon sawashiro please im howling. that just reminds me of the post bout the sad and old catboy#do i sound insane i think it was the one where theyre sitting at a bar and after drinking they just knock their glass off the table#anyway poor sensitive nose jo cant take him anywhere- allergies are probably going to act up or something lmao#but im running out of tags at this point. thank you for allowing me to talk so long- and im always happy to hear from you !
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karlrose · 1 year ago
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I have a bingeing problem.
If I like something, I will binge on it.
I like a show, I will binge that show.
I like a food, I will eat nothing but that food until It makes me sick.
I like a drink, I will drink nothing else ever again (Dr. Pepper. I have a Dr. Pepper problem. I would replace my blood with it if it wouldn't immediately result in my death)
I like a song, I will binge all their music.
I like your art, I will binge that art.
I like your blog, I will binge scroll until I reach the bottom.
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buysomecheese · 2 years ago
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Crying and sobbing why does style have so much angst potential. Bro they could be so sad I fucking love “childhood friends that keep no secrets except This one from each other and so they each are in love with the other but convinced it’s unrequited because they said they’d always tell each other everything so obviously if it hasn’t been said then it doesn’t exist.
And then just the mutual pining that goes nowhere. And then they each move away after growing up and growing apart but still loving the other so much. And they don’t see each other until so many years later and maybe one or both of them have a family and maybe their partner is either suspiciously similar or the exact opposite of their old best friend, their first love they never got to pursue or accept or lose or grieve properly. And maybe one of them gets drunk after seeing the other for the first time in years, stumbles over to his house/hotel/wherever he’s staying for this reunion or convenient plot device, and the sober one lets him in and makes him some tea and toast. Makes him lie down, the drunk one is tearing up and cries and the sober one, despite always insisting otherwise, is so very sensitive, especially when it’s his Stan who’s crying, so now Kyle is crying as well, wondering what’s up with Stan in the first place. Before drunkenly passing out, Stan is barely able to get out a small “I’ve never not loved you”, leaving Kyle to bring him up to the bed and tuck him in. Leaving Kyle confused, conflicted; he has his family back home, he knows his relationship with his husband started out as a “lookalike” type of deal, but it’s not anymore, is it? Well whatever, all he can do now is clean himself up. Wash his face, set some water out for when Stan inevitably wakes up hungover and thirsty. Hold Stan like he did when they were kids, without any ulterior motive, just to be close and comforted.
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