#-because someone promises that they could destroy the barrier for him if he plays their game

[astro-b-o-y-d]

It's a difficult balance to figure out whether or not Bill would actually think before he does something, because on the one hand he IS a trillion years old and is known for being a master manipulator, so I highly doubt he ALWAYS jumps into things before thinking. He has to possess SOME level of intelligence and patience if he was willing to try and make a plan work for, what? Millions of years at this point? When was Weirdmageddon prophesized? ...Okay a BILLION years ago. So I truly don't think that he just jumps headfirst into EVERYTHING without thinking about it first.

On the other hand, he's a fucking idiot with a hair-trigger temper and throws tantrums like he's still five years old so maybe he just has all the luck in the Multiverse that somehow allows him to just get through his immortal life by the seat of his pants. Also 'Looks like Mr. Brainiac finally got smart!'. Dude.

[profounddefendorcrusade-blog]

In Defense Of Ceroba

Even though I'm still probably the biggest Starlo apologist you've seen, I wanna talk about Ceroba today. Particularly, my initial and current thoughts on her (but also why she works as a deeply flawed and tragic character).

Anyway, here we go.

Ceroba wasn't a character I liked at first. It wasn't dislike or hatred I felt for her, but rather... not much, if anything. She simply didn't catch my attention like Starlo did, with his larger-than-life personality. Ceroba wasn't like that. She wasn't in the spotlight, she seemed calm and level-headed, sarcastic and easily annoyed with the Five's nonsense, but also kinda just.... there, in contrast to the more 'cartoonish' Starlo.

you can clearly see who the goofy one is

Heck, I was so focused on NOT wanting to get to know and understand Ceroba that I payed little to no attention to her, even in the Steamworks, which was her section as well as Axis'. I completely forgot about the talk option too, so I missed on a lot during my first playthrough. I didn't even laugh at her sarcastic comebacks (that I find funny now, as you can see in my post titled 'Ceroba's sarcasm is growing on me').

And when I found out Ceroba injected Kanako... let's just say she became my least favorite character. I didn't understand why she had done it. It seemed like a poor writing choice not to have Kanako get her paws on the serum and inject herself. Ceroba actively going against her husband's last wish and being the cause of her kid falling down left a bad taste in my mouth.

Only later did I finally put the pieces together.

Ceroba was depressed. Like, really REALLY depressed. So depressed, in fact, that she became blunt with her choice of words when it came to the Starlo situation and unaware of his troubles/the fact he was trying to help her out of the rut. Ceroba was clearly way harsher towards him than she used to be before all the tragedy struck (but said she was sorry)

Starlo describes her as compassionate and hard-working (and they've been friends for a long time, so he must know). Or at least, that was who she was before all the sadness turned her into a shell of her former self.

Now, Chujin... oh, Chujin.

Chujin meant a lot to Ceroba and that is very clear. From her blindly following his legacy even after his death, to accepting to kill Clover (someone she had grown to respect) with tears in her eyes.

If you ask me, it wasn't Ceroba's cold, sarcastic, gloomy heart that destroyed her. Quite the opposite. It was love. More specifically, her love for Chujin.

I would, without an ounce of doubt, call this fox romantic and emotional. Someone who loves hard and deep. Someone who trusted him, her love, so blindly that she never suspected Chujin was up to anything suspicious. And when he was stripped away from her, it hurt so much. She even blamed herself for not noticing. It's sad.

So... why inject Kanako, something Chujin didn't want her to do? Simple. Because of her major character flaw: stubbornness.

See, Ceroba had refused at first. But the line that got her to change her mind was this:

Ceroba, still in emotional distress and not thinking clearly (much like Starlo), trusted her heart and not her head. And her heart was telling her that Chujin, wherever his soul was, would be proud of her for fulfilling his dream. Making his legacy come true. Saving monsterkind was a bonus, but I believe the main, true motivation here was honoring Chujin and what he wanted to accomplish for monsterkind. And so, instead of focusing on remaining a good parent to her only child, Ceroba chose her husband. She chose something greater that he believed in.

Ceroba loves Kanako, don't get me wrong. She remembers how Kanako and Starlo would watch westerns together, how Kanako would play with brick toys when she was younger, she says how her love for her could be enough to shatter the barrier. She'd tuck her in every night. She promised she'd be safe during the extraction. The two hugged tight and said 'I love you.' All signs point towards Kanako receiving a lot of love from her mother. She even made a drawing of the three of them, and this picture on the right says it all:

Chujin, too, loved his daughter, and I believe this love for her was more prominent before the attack (he even gave her the chance to play video games in her room, how cool is that?). He, too, like Ceroba, prioritzed the wrong things. Instead of making sure Kanako was alright, he made Axis chase after the human and didn't stay to comfort her. He was so focused on the prejudice towards humans (he believed Integrity would have 'continued the crusade' and it hadn't just been fear or self-defense that made them attack) that he forgot that the safety of his child and helping Dalv was far more important.

But Chujin... Ceroba can't even look at her own daughter without being reminded of him:

Ceroba talks about Chujin a lot.

Even though Ceroba messed up badly by injecting Kanako, not paying more attention to what Chujin had been doing, manipulating Clover and the Feisty Five, wanting to kill Clover so she'd save Kanako and monsterkind (notice how she is so blinded that, even as she talks about Kanako, it seems like she sees her as a tool for finishing what Chujin wanted, ACCORDING TO CEROBA. In reality, the man just wanted Kanako to be happy and for her to stay out of all this),

and almost killing Starlo and Martlet, she acknowledged her situation and later admitted that she was wrong. The reason Clover hugged her and forgave her easily was because Clover is like that. Completely altruistic. Starlo and Martlet are sweethearts, too. All three have good hearts and lots of empathy and understanding. And, me, personally? Instead of it putting me off...

...I find it admirable.

[ecargmura]

Frieren: Beyond Journey's End Episode 21 Review - Clash Between Geriatrics

What’s a better way to end the first part of the exam than with an epic magic showdown between two geriatrics? Unfortunately for Denken, the geriatric woman much older than him defeats him. He did put up a good fight, though. And speaking of old people, we also get an introduction to Serie, Flamme’s elf master, meaning she’s an elf much smarter and much older than Frieren. This should be interesting.

The battle between Frieren and Denken was great. It shows off how strong these two are as mages, but even if Denken has been around for a long time, Frieren has been around longer. Despite that, these two may have been fighting as enemies, but it looks more like a rivalry as both are mages who enjoy the fun of searching and discovering magic rather than having it handed to them. Because Frieren and Fern’s spells are a bit basic, it’s finally nice to see a mage with some fancy spells. The way Denken used that fire magic was gorgeously animated. His sparkly light spell was great too. Despite that, Frieren shows why she’s stronger; in fact, that old trinket she carries around is proof that she is the last Great Mage. Yep, she’s basically Saitama in this universe. I also like the scene where Frieren breaks the barrier to give Kanne the advantage against Richter. I do like that she’s watching over her teammates like they’re her granddaughters and that she wanted to give Serie a big middle finger after she had recalled her encounter with her. The way it was animated was great.

The battle with Kanne and Lawine against Richter was also quite nice. It’s like watching an Earthbender against two water benders but one only uses ice while the other is lacking natural water and is just defending. Though, I do wonder why Kanne couldn’t just use her sweat. I do like that despite having the advantage, Richter’s main flaw was that he was looking down on his opponents. They were kids, so he was holding back in a way? Once Frieren broke the barrier, Kanne used a powerful water spell and destroyed Richter; no deaths here, by the way. Also, I’m sorry to all the Avatar: The Last Airbender fans because you guys do not deserve to have the magnificent show get butchered by Netflix.

Now that I’m done talking about the battles, I want to talk about two major characters. The first I’ll be talking about is Serie. She’s an elf who was Flamme’s master. Because of her long live, she has accumulated and learned practically every spell in existence. So, she can give spells to mages too. She’s like a mother computer of spells in a way. From her screen time here, she’s easily the opposite of Frieren in every aspect; she’s like an antithesis of her of sorts. Serie has stayed in one place, gathered knowledge and doesn’t seem to care about people outside of mages. Frieren was once like that, but meeting Himmel, Heiter and Eisen changed all that. Realizing how much of an impact Himmel had left on her, she seeks to collect magic but also make connections with people. That’s how she managed to be where she is now because of her desire to connect. Other than that, not much else is known about Serie. Her voice is very deep. She’s voiced by Mariya Ise, who you might know to be the voice of Killua from Hunter x Hunter and Ray from The Promised Neverland. Ise is excellent with voicing boys and girls; she has distinct voices she use for the characters she plays. The voice that she uses for Serie is normally the one she uses when voicing boys, but Serie is a girl. I was surprised to see her use her young boy voice for this character. I like it though. It gives the impression that she’s the opposite of Frieren who has a soft voice.

The next character and the last major thing I want to talk about for the review is Denken. He’s surprisingly an intriguing character. I never knew someone could write this guy so cleverly. Props to the authors. At first, he may seem like the typical old guy, but he shows off rationality, wisdom and logic in his scenes. I like him a lot now that he had a lot of screen time in this episode. He knows when to back down, but he knows when to charge in. I like how he grabbed Richter with his legs to save him from being washed away by Kanne’s magic. My favorite scene with him was when he decided to throw hands against a team that had a Stille but lost a teammate. He had run out of mana due to his fight with Frieren, but that didn’t mean he lacked options. I never expected the old man of all people to settle things with an old-fashioned beat down; he won too given that his team passed!

There’s also a scene with Stark at the very end where he’s sort of enjoying the days without Fern and Frieren, but he also kind of misses them. Stark feels like a husband who’s wife and mother-in-law went on a business trip, so he has to fend for himself for a few days. Maybe I just see it like that because I ship Fern and Stark together.

Now that the first day of the exam ended, what will the second day be about? I’m a bit excited as the next round, no one is teamed up anymore. They’re all on their own. Maybe we can see Lawine and Kanne fight? Frieren and Fern fight? If anything, I’d like to see a rematch between Wirbel and Ubel with them going all out now. What do you want to see in the next round?

[undertsums]

RoMAY PerfectKidRoman

This is of course still a heavy work in progress but I have ideas. SO MANY NEAT IDEAS.

But first BACKSTORY.

Everything is normal, Webdings makes Shadow to catch the other monsters, betrays him, makes Roman because she can't handle the soul/Shadow's taunting, Shadow befriending Roman and convincing her to let him take control of her.

BUT instead of Webdings being able to reach the machine that would cause Roman and Shadow to end up in the void, she is killed quickly. Shadow made a promise to Roman that after he gets his revenge she can have all the fun she wants.

So he gives full control to his sister, his power, everything. PerfectKidRoman heads to the barrier and breaks it. Of course Grassmor is very monster friendly, they great her with open arms and trusting souls. It was all so easy for PerfectKidRoman to take their traits, even when they tried to fight her, they couldn't.

She was a God…A literal God. She had soon gotten the soul traits of all the humans in Grassmor. So her games started, sometimes people would die if they tried to cheat, if they were lucky she would only injure them. The humans of Grassmor were powerless and had no choice but to play PerfectKidRoman's games.

Then something powerful was felt from across the ocean. PerfectKidRoman didn't like it…This energy felt powerful, it could stop her FUN. She can't have that. She made sure to tell her playthings that she will be back, of course she made sure they were surrounded by walls of purple magic. If they tried anything they would only hurt themselves.

So PerfectKidRoman made her way across the ocean. She arrived in Ebott and the humans there were less nice. It was still easy to take their traits. She kept her guard up for that energy she felt.

She FOUND it. A small child, she made it quick. She took their trait, and this red soul was…POWERFUL. It only made her stronger. Oh boy she couldn't wait for all the games!

Monsters tried to fight her, monsters didn't have traits. They were useless. She tried to kill them but a small skeleton got in the way.

Now he was a tough fight. Very much so. But Sans was nothing against a literal God. When he was killed the other monsters were shocked and stunned.

They tried to fight her, they LOST.

Soon PerfectKidRoman was finished in Ebott. and went back home to resume the fun games in Grassmor. The humans there were already well versed in her games and rules. She'll leave Ebott for later if she gets bored.

A few months passed by and her playthings became less in numbers. PerfectKidRoman was about to just end this game in Grassmor and move on. But a new human showed up. Someone she has never seen before. They looked super neat, pink hair, pink clothes. Pink everything! She learned the human's name was Joyce. But PerfectKidRoman wouldn't get to learn more about her new toy, the human escaped. SHE RUINED HER NEW GAME!

The world around her thundered and became darker. JOYCE LEFT, SHE RUINED THE FUN, THE GAME! SHE WANTED TO PLAY. Shadow rarely intervened but he was there to calm his sister. He would always be here to help her and make her happy.

Shadow told PerfectKidRoman that he WILL fix this, and using the purple magic formed a temporary body to use to build something that will track that human down.

Shadow would succeed, of course code is not something you can easily understand. Looking up Joyce would bring a ton of universes and timelines. Some where Joyce wasn't there but apparently there existed code of her having BEEN there.

PerfectKidRoman met many Roman's and Shadow's. They were a ton of fun to play with but she also hated them. Roman and Shadow should ALWAYS stay together. As ONE. So she destroyed them and moved on, PerfectKidRoman also found AU's where no Shadow would exist and she was quick to make sure that Roman felt no pain.

Then she found A Joyce. Not her Joyce. This one was less bright, less happy, she was a terrible copy. PerfectKidRoman wanted the REAL Joyce. She was prepared to just destroy this version of herself. But then this other Joyce pleaded her to stop, begged her to not hurt her friend. PerfectKidRoman didn't know why these words affected her so.

Instead of doing what she did to all the AU's before she decided to leave and just move on. Oh and on she travelled, each OTHER Joyce she found that wasn't the one SHE WANTED, all pleaded and begged for THEIR ROMAN.

Why?

But finally she found her, she was sure because this Joyce reacted to her in fear and shock. The others were confused and questioning. She didn't see another her, this was obviously a sign. This Joyce had no Roman, so she was MEANT for her.

Oh what FUN this will be!

"Roman?" That voice...

PerfectKidRoman would turn and spot Shadow. It wasn't her Shadow, she could feel him inside her but...This Shadow was closer to her own than any of the others she found. He stared at her with such sadness, like he hasn't seen her in so long.

No...No no no. Another her HAS to be here. "Where is she?" PerfectKidRoman demanded. Shadow still looked sad "I...I don't know, I lost her because I was a coward...I didn't want to follow her." "SHE'S YOUR SISTER, YOUR OTHER HALF!" PerfectKidRoman would yell.

Shadow would become transparent at her words, it was words that he heard over and over again. "Hey leave him alone!" A small timid voice yelled as a blue haired girl got between her and Shadow.

PerfectKidRoman HATED him. Oh she did. HE LEFT HER! HOW DARE HE LEAVE? THEY ARE SIBLINGS, HE PROMISED!

"Hey...Calm down" Shadow said pulling PerfectKidRoman's hands away from her head. "Focus on me...That's right" he said, his words gentle and calm. For a moment PerfectKidRoman didn't notice but then...She saw those eyes, still sad.

She pulled away from him "your not my brother, I don't NEED you." Shadow frowned "your brother doesn't exist" he told her, "What?" PerfectKidRoman asked confused.

Shadow sighed "Only you had the Perseverance to stay, I don't...I can only guess how this happened...But if I had succeeded in my revenge...Once I let Roman have full control I would no longer exist. I'd just become her..."

No.

PerfectKidRoman backed away, he lies...HE HAS TO BE! "Brother...Y-You're here r-right?" She asked, 'of course I am...' "See hehehe, he's here. Don't LIE!" She yelled.

Shadow shook his head "no...That's not me...It's just you. You can't accept the reality, otherwise...You'd go crazy" he said. PerfectKidRoman didn't want to play anymore "SHUT UP LIAR!" She yelled "I DON'T WANT TO PLAY WITH YOU!" She fled, she fled back to her own world. She can just start over. Play her games. Her and Shadow.

...

"Shadow?" 'Yes?' "I'm...I'm not crazy...Right?" 'No...You don't listen to him. You'll be okay' "Yes...Right okay..." 'It might be best to forget all of this.' "Really?" 'Yes...It wasn't fun for you.' "Yeah...I don't wanna remember this...I don't like it." 'Then let me deal with this.' "I'm tired...Why am I tired?" 'You've had a fun few months...Just sleep for a little while.' "Okay...You'll be here when I wake up...Right?" 'Right...We won't be going anywhere'

And that's it, I really love this AU the fact that YES Shadow basically doesn't exist. He becomes a part of Roman, because human souls are stronger than monsters. AKA think like when Flowey absorbed the human souls but he had no control over them really. However what if a human absorbed a monster soul (think about it we never DO get it answered). I like to think the monster becomes a part of the human, they no longer exist.

Anyway there are no more AU's to discuss, sooo I dunno what the plan is for the rest of RoMay. Maybe fanart? Roman fanart :3 Or Shadow fanart (technically his birthday too).

[sleeping-on-cracking-ice]

Hello! Can you write something with female Y/N and Chishiya? She helped him with something and is injured after that. She fell or burn her back or hit her head, but pretends that nothing happened since she think he doesn't care and the injury it's getting worst by days, Chishiya didn't notice at first and he just don't understand why Y/N is not talking with him but lets it go, then the day of game comes and they both have to play and Y/N faints few hours before registration. He is panicking suddenly aware of his own feelings towards her and he is SO worried and feels guilty. I hope you can add a lot of angst but fluffy end? I'm sorry if this is messy, english is not my first language 😭 Thank you!

Of course! And don’t worry your English is great 😊 I hope you enjoy! ❤️

Panicked Confession | Shuntaro Chishiya

{Alice In Borderland Masterlist}

Character(s): Chishiya (ft. Kuina, Usagi, Ann, Hatter)

Summary: You get badly burnt while saving Chishiya in a game, but made sure he knew nothing about it. Just before leaving for the next game, you pass out and Chishiya finds you, causing him to panic

Warning: swearing, burn injury, vomiting, fainting

Word Count: 4.9k

*reader is female

“Shit! Guys come on!”

You, Chishiya, Kuina and Usagi rushed through the bottom floor of the building. Flames were curling in the air around each side of you, quickly closing in to eat you alive.

All four of you had almost completed the game, being the only players left after the last puzzle of the building. It was a diamond game, a game of intelligence. You were lucky to have been with Chishiya, as Diamonds games were his specialty.

You were all sprinting across the room, together in a tight pack so the flames don’t manage to touch you. You were panting, feeling your lungs collapsing in on themselves, but you had to press on. Only a few more steps before you could jump through the glass window at the end of the room, which was quickly being engulfed.

Suddenly, you saw Chishiya, who was running next to you, trip on a loose bit of debris laying on the ground inconveniently. You looked back and saw him holding his ankle in pain.

Of course, just your luck.

You all stopped abruptly, skidding along the floor and looking back to Chishiya in fear. He saw you all, his eyes widening.

“What are you doing?! Go!” he called out, wincing in pain.

You looked towards Kuina and Usagi, watching as thoughts spiraled around their heads to figure out what to do. The flame was too close behind Chishiya for it to be safe, if someone was to help him, they would have to risk their life doing so.

Both Kuina and Usagi shook their heads and looked away. They turned away from Chishiya and began jogging towards the window again. You froze. There’s no way they would just leave him like that.

“Guys!” You called out to them. They turned to you with fearful expressions painted on their face. “What are you doing?!” You asked, fear and worry dripping from your words. You had to make up your mind soon or you would be burned to a crisp.

Kuina motioned for you to come to her. “Y/N, there’s no time! We have to go!” you could tell she felt awful about this decision, but you weren’t giving up just yet.

You looked back at Chishiya laying on the ground. He was staring at you with a worried expression, wanting you to hurry up and leave him. You couldn’t leave a friend that easy to die. You had to at least try.

You let out a big sigh and lifted your aching legs to race towards Chishiya. He began yelling at you the moment you started running. “No, no, no! Go Y/N! What are you doing?!”

You ignored his shouting and quickly knelt down beside him to lift his arm around your shoulders. You weren’t going to lose anyone else, you promised yourself that after your friends died in the first game you played after appearing in the Borderlands.

Chishiya kept arguing and shaking his head as you tried to lift his body. He was surprisingly heavy for someone his size. “Y/N, go! There’s no time! You can’t save me!” he at screamed you, becoming more desperate with every plea.

You continued to ignore him and began dragging him along towards the window, where Kuina and Usagi were already working on breaking the glass with debris from around them. “You’re not going to off yourself that easily Chishiya as long as I have a say in it,” you rasped out, struggling to keep upright with the extra weight on your shoulders.

As your heart pounded in your ears and you felt the fire become hotter and hotter around you, you suddenly felt an incredibly sharp pain across your spine. The sensation spread all through your body, from your head to your toe, making you cry out and almost collapse to the ground, but you stayed strong.

Chishiya had given up arguing with you, using his good leg to take a bit of his body weight off your pained shoulders. With his help, you managed to move much quicker, limping and staggering your way towards Kuina and Usagi, who had broken the window and were now waiting for you to come, yelling at you to hurry up.

You didn’t look back; you didn’t want to see how close the flames were. You knew it would do nothing but make the situation worse.

As you neared the window, you slowed down as Kuina ran out to help you lift Chishiya up and out of the window. You were relying completely on adrenaline at that point, having lost all of your strength through running and carrying Chishiya.

You managed to lift yourself through the cracked window, earning a few cuts from the leftover glass on the way, and collapsed onto the grass ground below you. A large barrier from inside the room (probably manufactured for the games) closed over the destroyed window as you fell, being lucky to be the last out of the four of you to escape. The flames were locked in, unable to harm you.

The four of you laid on the grass, panting and trying to regain your breath. As your adrenaline calmed down, the pain of your large burn mark set in. You covered your face with your hand and silently screamed against it, trying to drown out the searing pain somehow. You couldn’t worry the others, not after what just happened.

**************

The next couple of days was nothing but a struggle for you. As soon as you arrived back from the game, you stumbled your way to Ann’s medical room. She took a closer look at your burn wound, applying whatever she had to try and reduce the chance of it getting infected. But unfortunately, that didn’t reduce the pain.

After allowing Ann to wrap a bandage around your upper back to protect the wound, you slowly made your way back to your room on the upper floor. You didn’t want to rush yourself in case you made your wound worse, so you took your time in getting there.

Unfortunately, it was a bit too much time, as you managed to bump into Chishiya who popped out from around the corner. A small panic raised within you; you didn’t want Chishiya to see you like this! It’s embarrassing enough to like someone you had no chance with, but for them to see you stumbling and holding onto the wall because you can’t even keep yourself up? No, not today.

You stood more upright than before, giving Chishiya your best fake smile. “Hey Y/N,” he said, walking past you. You breathed a sigh of relief. Well, that wasn’t too bad.

You started to walk again before you heard Chishiya call out from behind you. “Oh, wait Y/N!”

You turned around, biting your tongue so you didn’t let out a yelp of pain as the skin on your back twisted with your movements. “Yeah?” you acknowledged him.

He gave you a half-hearted smile. “Thanks again, for earlier. I would’ve been a goner if you hadn’t risked your life like that for me,” he said, scratching the back of his head awkwardly. You’ve never seen him thank someone before, so you were shocked.

“Oh, it was no big deal! We should all help each other out, considering we haven’t really got anything else other than each other,” you said, smiling happily. You felt all giddy from him acknowledging the fact that you risked yourself for him.

“Yeah, but it was still pretty cool of you. Even Kuina and Usagi were willing to leave me there,” he chuckled as his own joke.

You laughed and shook your head at him. “I’m sure they were just doing what they thought was best for everyone else in the moment.”

Chishiya nodded and gave you a small wave. “I’ll see you tomorrow night then! Hatter let me know in the meeting this evening that you and I are together again. I’m glad though, because you seem to have the skill and brains to get through some tough games.”

You were flattered by his compliment. “Thanks, you too though! We would have burnt to a crisp if it weren’t for you during that diamond game tonight.”

The small talk was killing you. You just wanted to get back to your room and wallow in the silence that engulfed it. At least there, you could suffer from your burn wound a little louder than out in the public eye of The Beach.

Chishiya laughed at your statement. “No, I’m sure with you there it would’ve been fine,” he said back, making you smile wider.

“I’ll see you later then,” you exclaimed, waving a hand at him. He waved back with a grin on his attractive features before he turned around and continued down the hall with his hands tucked into their usual spot in his hoodie pockets.

You let out a big sigh of relief. That was close. You felt the pain seeping through your body the longer you stood there, hoping for Chishiya to just end the conversation. You felt guilty, it may have looked like you were trying to escape, since you were slowly backing towards the corner. Hopefully, he didn’t notice.

You stumbled the rest of the way towards your room, wincing and hissing in pain on the way. It felt like Ann didn’t do anything at all, but you couldn’t blame her. She had extremely limited resources and could only leave to search for more every few weeks.

When you finally made it to the door of your room, the familiar number engraved onto the middle of it, you gripped the handle and walked inside.

You collapsed onto your bed onto your stomach. There was no way you would be able to sleep on your back with this kind of pain, so you had to resort to either on your side or on your stomach.

Let’s just say, you had a restless sleep.

****************

You were hoping after a night’s sleep that the pain from your back would have disappeared at least a little bit. But you couldn’t have been more wrong. If anything, it had become worse. You probably managed to roll onto it a few times during the night, reopening any part of the wound that had sealed up over the time you’ve had it.

It took you far too long to get out of bed in the morning. You groaned and moaned in frustration as you crawled your way out of the duvet, almost collapsing off your bed. You felt rather pathetic, but who wouldn’t after not being able to do the simplest of tasks from a wound.

As you were walking to your closet to look for something to wear, you remembered you had to go see Ann again that morning. She had told you last night to return to her medical room the next morning so she could reapply a new bandage onto you, in case the other one gets bacteria or blood on it during the night somehow.

You quickly put on your usual swimmers to wear around the hotel and the black hoodie that you wore most of the time when you got cold. You didn’t want to risk anyone else seeing your wound. The gaping burn mark across your upper back was bound to attract unwanted attention.

You made your way down the hall to go see Ann again. There was nobody in the halls around the rooms due to it being close to noon. You slept in longer than you expected.

You slowly walked down the couple of flights of stairs, making your way to Ann’s medical room on the lower floor. The walk down to the lobby felt longer at that moment than it ever had.

You approached the door with the red cross along the front of it, indicating the medical room. You were about to lift your hand to turn the doorknob before you heard a loud voice yell from further down the corridor.

You shifted your eyes and saw none other than Chishiya striding down the hallway with his usual cocky smirk painted across his face. Of course, you had to run into him out of all people.

“Y/N! Wait!” he yelled as he jogged up to you.

You stayed silent, waiting to hear what he had to say. You wanted to ignore him and just walk into the medical room to see Ann to avoid any kind of questioning or suspicion from him, but you knew that would only make him more curious.

“Hey, you alright?” he frowned, questioning you. He reached out to place a gentle hand on your forearm, but you flinched away before he could touch you.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you answered, trying to sound normal. The piercing feeling that your wound brought you began to make its way around your body again, making you slightly shift and shake. ‘Of course, it just has its moment while I’m talking to the one person that I don’t want to look like a weakling in front of,’ you thought to yourself in your head.

Chishiya frowned at your flinch, but seemed to shake it off quickly, moving onto something else. “So anyway, where were you this morning?” he asked, leaning closer to you.

“I-I was in my room. I had a late sleep in,” you said, gripping the doorknob to the medical room.

“Oh, weird. Do you remember what we talked about yesterday?” he said with a smirk on his face.

‘Oh shit, he’s mocking my bad memory,” you thought, feeling embarrassed.

“Um… no? Should I?”

“You, Kuina, Alice, Usagi and I were going to meet up this morning to steal some food from the kitchen and take it to the rooftop. You didn’t show up near the pool where we said we were going to meet!” he exclaimed. He was laughing, obviously not caring too much about your forgetfulness.

You thought for a second. You did recall having that conversation. You guessed that you forgot about it because you were so focused on trying to reduce the pain from your burn. Even if you did remember, as if you would’ve been able to run away from the chefs in the kitchen after taking the food with this injury.

“Me and Kuina even knocked on your door. You must have been really knocked out if you didn’t wake up from Kuina’s loud yelling.”

He then raised his eyebrow and smirked. “Unless you were hiding from me?”

Your could tell he was obviously joking, but he wasn’t far off from being right. That has been your intention since last night, but trust Chishiya to figure you out quickly enough.

You heart rate picked up from his accurate accusation. “Uh, sorry Chishiya, but I really have to go,” you mumbled out, giving him a quick fake smile before walking into the medical room and closing the door behind you.

Chishiya’s mischievous smirk fell from his face. You didn’t even give him a chance to say goodbye, and you seemed oddly nervous from his accusation that you were avoiding him. He felt somewhat hurt. Were you trying to avoid him?

He shook off his suspicions and continued down the corridor to the lobby to find something to entertain him for the meantime. You wouldn’t try to avoid him, would you? Perhaps he’ll confront you about it later.

*************

You were laying in your room reading a book when you heard the usual ring of the bell that was Hatter’s signal for everyone to move down to the lobby to prepare for the night’s games.

“Shit! Is it that late already?” you asked no one, glancing over at the digital clock on your nightstand.

You panicked and saw it was the time that you would head out to games. You said to yourself earlier that you would give yourself an early mark so you could get down there at the right time, considering you would be slow due to your condition, but you got distracted by your book and lost track of time.

You rushed to your feet a little too quickly for your body’s liking, causing the pain of your wound to shoot across your back without mercy, making you yelp in pain and fall forwards.

You managed to catch yourself before you face planted into the ground. You let out a few deep breaths, trying to regain your strength while the piercing pain became worse from your insistence.

You pushed yourself off the ground, placing your foot underneath you and attempting to stand to your feet. You had to make it to the cars at least, you knew if anyone found you at The Beach during game time, they would mark you a coward, or worse: a traitor.

You cursed under your breath and let out pained sobs as you tried to get to your feet again. But unfortunately, your body just wasn’t on your side at that moment.

Your feet gave out underneath you and your head pounded, causing you to feel dizzy and suddenly nauseated. You leant forwards as you emptied the contents of your stomach out onto the floor, gagging on the taste of it in the back of your throat.

Your eyes began to feel heavy, not being able to take the pain and stress you were under. You managed to roll yourself to the side so you wouldn’t land in the pile of vomit and lay yourself across the floor safely before you face planted.

“Fuck,” you rasped out, feeling helpless at that moment.

You couldn’t do anything as your vision narrowed, passing out from pain on the floor of your own room, no one around to help you.

*************

“Hello again everyone! I would like to say a few words before we all get into our groups and drive to our games!”

Hatter’s usual booming voice thrusted across the crowd in front of him. Another night, another gathering. Just like every other day.

Chishiya stood at his usual spot in the back, leaning against the cement wall and rolling his eyes at Hatter’s words. He never seemed to have anything useful to say. Just some preachy words that created false hope.

‘How about for a change, he gave us some advice? It would probably spare some people a few headaches,’ Chishiya thought to himself.

He stood on his toes and tried to search the crowd for the top of your head. He was becoming anxious. You would usually be down in the lobby by now.

He was more nervous due to the way you’ve been acting all day. Usually, you two were joined at the hip twenty-four seven, but the only time he saw you that day was in the morning when you walked into the medical room.

He wondered why you were going in there. You never went to Ann unless it was for something drastic, but you seemed completely healthy and unharmed.

As the time ticked on, Chishiya became more and more worried. You would never skip out on a game; you were too afraid of being caught by the executives for that.

Hatter finished off his nightly speech with the list of groups and which number wristbands go where. Chishiya didn’t even care to pay attention as everyone began making their way towards the entrance of the hotel where they would pile into the cars and drive off to the games. He ran the opposite way, clambering up the flights of stairs to reach the level your room is on. If you had to be anywhere, it would be there.

He powered his legs into a sprint, having to brush his white locks out of his face once or twice due to them getting in the way. He eventually arrived at your room, stopping and panting to regain his breath.

He knocked on your door quietly at first, not knowing if you were asleep or something. “Y/N?” he called out through the door. “We need to head off to the games. Did you not hear the bell?”

When he received nothing but silence as an answer, he took it upon himself to walk in to see if you were there. He opened the door and peeked his head around the side, being careful in case you were indecent for some reason.

As he walked in further, his heart dropped as he saw you laying on the ground passed out.

“Y/N!” he exclaimed, rushing over to your body and kneeling beside you. He lifted your head onto his lap gently and immediately checked your neck for a pulse. A small feeling of relief flowed through him when he felt the beat of your heart on his fingers.

“Oh my god Y/N, what’s happened to you?” he stressed, tapping your cheek with his hand to see if you would wake. He was beginning to become more worried as time ticked on. He glanced over at the clock on your nightstand and saw that it was getting later. He had to wake you up before registration closed for all the games.

He lifted you up from under your arms, using all his strength to pull you into your small bathroom. He placed you gently on the tiled floor, stuffing a towel underneath your head for support. He quickly shifted your body around, trying to look for any source of injury that caused you to pass out. He froze when he noticed a few stains of blood on the back of your hoodie. He quickly lifted the hem of your shirt to see what was causing the stains.

His eyes almost popped out of his head from the sight. He gasped at the huge burn wound on your back, stretching across from your shoulder blades to your waist. The bandage that Ann had wrapped around it had come loose, hanging off your abdomen carelessly. His heart filled with guilt as he examined it more closely. Why didn’t he look after you?

He immediately put two and two together and realized that you had probably passed out from the pain of the burn mark.

He stood up from his position on the floor and grabbed a small cloth from your towel rack, running it under the water from the tap. He knelt back down next to you and carefully placed the wet fabric against your wound. He was so afraid of hurting you, but he had to do what he could to make you better for the game.

“Oh, come on, please wake up Y/N,” he breathed out. Stress and anxiety filled his tone, making the air more tense.

“Please wake up, please be okay. I love you, please don’t die Y/N,” he suddenly felt small tears gathering in his eyes as he stood up quickly to refresh the cloth that he was using to clean the burn.

He felt his hidden feelings begin to pour out of his mouth. He couldn’t handle the strain seeing you like this was having on his emotions.

He brought the cloth back, but this time he turned you over slightly so he could place it on your face. Your eyes were still shut tightly, not showing any indication of opening.

Chishiya ran the fingers of his other hand along your cheek, tapping softly on your skin, hoping that you would wake up from the physical contact. He felt desperate. He has never felt this helpless before, not even in games.

He allowed his few tears to fall down his cheek, lifting your head and pressing his forehead against yours. “Please wake up, we have to go. Just wake up and I’ll take care of you,” he mumbled out with shaky breaths.

He didn’t know what else to do. He could do nothing but hope.

A few minutes passed with Chishiya just holding you and pressing the cold cloth onto your face, trying to make you open your eyes. And eventually you did.

Chishiya breathed in a huge sigh of relief when he saw your eyes flutter open slowly, dazed and confused. He smiled and kept the cloth pressed to your face, caressing your cheek with his thumb.

“Oh, thank god,” he breathed out, wrapping his arm around your shoulder and bringing you into his chest for a close hug. You groaned loudly at the contact as Chishiya accidentally placed his hand on your wound.

“Chishiya, be careful,” you rasped out against his chest. He flinched away immediately and apologized.

“Come on, let’s get you cleaned up,” he said, lifting you up under your arms again. You groaned, not being able to stand up on your own yet. Chishiya kept you close to his chest as you leant against him.

He managed to clean you up with you leaning most of your body weight on him. He helped you wash out your mouth and clean your teeth to get rid of the taste of vomit and reapplied the bandage that had fallen off your wound. He did it all with such care and concern, being afraid of hurting you or overwhelming you with anything.

“Aren’t you supposed to be at the games?” you asked after you had finished rinsing your face.

“I noticed you weren’t at the lobby when Hatter called everyone, so I ran to your room and found you,” he answered, fixing your hoodie on your back from when he had to lift it to clean your injury.

“So, everyone’s gone?” you asked with a worried expression. Chishiya nodded, leaning on the sink next to you to check your face to see if you were alright.

“But if they find us, they’ll mark us as traitors!” you exclaimed, fear filling your head.

Chishiya placed his index finger on your lips to shush you. “Shh, only if they can hear us. We can just stay in here and be quiet, and hopefully no one suspects that we’re missing,” he said, smiling to calm you down.

You searched his eyes for any uncertainty but chose to let it go and just listen to him. “Okay.”

You both sat side by side on the floor of your small bathroom, Chishiya running his hand up and down your arm to keep your anxiety away. After a while of comfortable silence, you spoke up.

“Thanks, Chishiya, for helping me. If it weren’t for you, I’d still be lying on the ground next to a pile of my own puke,” you laughed at yourself.

Chishiya giggled. “It’s okay. I care about you Y/N, I couldn’t just leave you there.”

You looked at him with sparkling eyes, being taken back by his statement. “Really?” you asked, not believing him.

He smiled lovingly and caressed your cheek with his fingers. “Of course, I’d do anything if it was to help you.”

You thought you would have a cute moment together, but that flew out the window when Chishiya slapped you lightly across the cheek. Not enough to hurt you, but enough to bring a shocked expression onto your face.

“But next time, tell me when you’re hurt instead of trying to hide it from me like an idiot! You really think you’d be able to hide something like this from me?” he scolded you like a mother, but you giggled at his reaction.

“Yeah, I’ll tell you next time. Why did I ever think I could keep something from someone with an intelligent mind like yours,” you teased, leaning closer to his face.

Chishiya raised his eyebrows. “Hm, thanks, I guess? Not sure if that was a compliment or if you’re poking fun at me.”

You chuckled. “Take it however you want,” you whispered. You finally closed to space between you, allowing your lips to clash against his. Chishiya let out a shocked sound, but quickly melted against you and accepted your kiss.

You both sat on the floor of your bathroom, moving your mouths together while Chishiya tried hard to place his hands on you without touching your burn mark. You appreciated his care, but he ended up having to awkwardly place them on your upper arms, rubbing up and down them slowly.

You pulled away first, making Chishiya chase your lips as you moved away, making you giggle. “There’s my thank you gift,” you said cheekily, leaning away from him and back into your seating position.

Chishiya pouted at you. “That’s it? That was barely a kiss!” he argued, trying to move closer to you, wanting more of your affection.

“Chishiya, your tongue was in my mouth. I think that clarifies as a kiss,” you stated, placing your hand on his mouth and pushing him away gently. “Maybe let down that tough guy persona more often and take care of me, maybe then you’ll get more kisses.”

Chishiya leaned back and frowned. “Fine, but don’t expect this to be the norm now. I’m not going to let you control my personality just for a bit of affection.”

Well, that was a lie.

Author’s Note: Every Chishiya fanfic I’ve written has had some sort of angsty moment in it 😂 this man is going through it

[yandere-wishes]

MONSTERS

👹 Yandere Ryomen Sukuna x Reader

👹Summary: Monsters aren’t born they're made, but Sukuna stumbles across the rare exception...

👹Warning: dehumanization, mention of gore, blood, slight dub-con mentioned in passing, death, past trauma, and abuse

👹 Edited: By the lovely @tealyjade-libran !

👹 Wordcount: 2,480

👹Alternative Tittle : If Roxanne ( from the Police song) lived in ancient Japan.

👹First Jujutsu kaisen fic! I hope you guys like it, please let me know your thoughts! Likes and reblogs appreciated!

Monsters were made. 

Slowly created as once blazing ideals, withered and died under harsh strokes of reality. Stitched together with broken promises and the ashes of rotting memories. 

Monsters were made

whisked into a role they once dreaded, once feared. Beaten into the role of the villain, the reprobate, the sinner. 

If anyone ever asked Sukuna when was the exact moment he turned his back on the laws of "good" and "evil", shedding his human skin to regrow a pelt of hate and destruction,

He would simply answer, "Never".

Because skin is skin no matter how much it decays. Even if the epidermis turns into a rotting orange shade, littered with eyeballs and teeth that shouldn't grow there.Even if the blood from all those he's slain has finally stained his dermis, tainting it in a permanent crimson that all the waters of Lake Biwa could never wash off. Even if his hypodermis is no longer made of fatty tissue but rather spiritual energy sucked from the atmosphere. It's still skin, the same old skin he was born with.

Sukuna had never shed his skin, he'd only perfected it, enhanced it, molded it into its perfect form, until he was no longer held back by foolish human limitations.

He'd never been "reborn" only recreated; only perfected. 

Spike, talon and teeth covered arms sprouting from oozing, bleeding scars, charred over by begriming infections that burned worse than the strikes he'd endured as a child. Knuckles and bones cracking over and over and over again until they grew as solid as the rocks that were thrown at him when he was all too little to understand the malice behind the insults and threats. Breaking until they could break no more, until they'd become strong enough to split a boulder with a mere flick.

There had come a time when he'd given up licking his wounds, leaving them to be kissed by the mold-covered worms who left an urticating sensation he'd soon come to associate with victory. Rotting flesh growing covered in thick layers of black tar tattoos that hid every cut he'd endured when he'd once been too weak. 

Monsters were created from quarter truths buried neck-deep in fables that snipped like red-eyed scorpions. 

Until the blood dancing through their veins was as black as the void they now called home. 

Sukuna knew the exact moment he realized he was a monster. The day he realized he liked the crunch of skulls beneath his feet, the pitiful spark in mortified eyes staring at the heavens for a scrap of mercy. Mangled mouths barely held together by fractured jaw bones, uttering prayers and pleas that died in the scorching air. 

Sukuna knew he was an abnormality, patched together by broken heirlooms and shattered family traditions. Sitting on a throne made from skulls of those who thought they could ever kill him. 

You can't kill a monster, for you can not kill that which was never born. 

You can't slay something made from good intentions with malevolent methods, something so vile that it might actually be pure. At the end of the day, no monster really admits that it is a monster, a nightmare that should have never existed. 

Yet...

Tattered hearts and cruel orbs are never quite enough. No monster is complete until they dive off that last edge, plummet into the sea of nothingness, and finally, finally break their souls on the spiked soil. Monsters, spirits, curses any malicious being that had been mended together like a half-done ragdoll was not complete until they truly let go. Until they erased all the former humanity that they had been born with. Until their eyes reflected nothing, no emotions, no malice, no want, no need. Just the absolute emptiness. 

The void in all its glory.

that was the symbol, the true markings of a real monstrosity. The void that took over their existence, that had replaced every inch of their former self. Only then could it be said that you were above all other beings, the true perfection of this world. 

There are worse things created than monsters, things that are made from nothing and everything. Things above "Yin" and "Yang". Things that have no scrap of humanity, monstrosity, or anything in them.

Things that are just empty.

So maybe -just maybe- that's why when Sukuna's rotting orange eyes landed on the epitome of emptiness, a...girl, whose face was sculpted to disreflect emotions and intents. Someone who was the void of darkness itself. The true personification of nothingness. 

His heart -for the first time in countless centuries- began to throb.

a truly dead face swarmed by a sea of buzzing ants, chasing their routine happiness. Smiles of delight and carelessness carved on their aging faces with sunlight knives and the melody of golden coins. The lust for life leaking from every pore of their bodies. 

With every face being a carbon copy of each other it was no wonder yours stood out.

There was a silver chain of attraction, dragging Sukuna towards the village girl. Not love, never love, the king of curses was beyond certain, that neither you nor he could feel such a honey-laced sensation. It was more like....something. Something paranormal, inexpiable. Some magnetic force outside of everything's control. 

It was easy enough to explain why he liked you. Why you stood out from the other insects of this middle-of-nowhere-village. 

You had dark matter for blood and dead seas for brains. 

Your eyes radiated an endless abyss. Making others shy away from your lifeless gaze. Scared to look into the void in fear that it may respond. 

You were a thrown away doll,

A living dead,

A dying star,

You were the daughter of the number zero,

The monster that had no maker nor mother. 

Something not born nor created. 

Just an entity that roamed the earth, with no desire nor hope, no wish nor dream. Not leaving, not dying, just existing in the space between today and tomorrow. 

There'd been no need for pleasantries, for hiding behind ghostly tree branches and frozen windows. There'd been no need to kill or ravage for you. No competition to eliminate, because no one ever came near you. Humans don't like what they can't explain, Sukuna knew that all too well. 

Sukuna watched from a close enough distance to almost touch. Lingering around like a phantom begging to be noticed. Orbs trailing over you, but never approaching. Until one day he'd just stood still. Waited for you to turn your head just a fraction to the left, just to see him in all his menacing terror. To finally notice the clawing, crawling sensation that had been creeping up your spine like a hoard of spiders. 

And when your dead eyes did finally land on him. Sukuna could swear that his breath hitched in his throat for the first time in his seemingly endless life.

You weren't human. Humans didn't have hollow faces or marbles for lips. 

You weren't a curse. Curses didn't lack venom dripping from their souls.

You were something better than a monster. You were the divinity of monstrosity, the void itself. Black holes for eyes, answerless paradoxes for hands, and an endless maze where your torso should have been. 

 Exploding suns danced around you, burning, burning, till they died out, leaving behind no trace that they once lit up the universe. 

The space after the end, that's what you were.

Perfect, to Sukuna you were perfect.

You hadn't run, hadn't screamed, hadn't even bothered to talk. You didn't care about him, couldn't care about him. That's what made him want you, made his mouth salivate with the thought of your flesh between his teeth. 

That night the world stood still, as Sukuna's claws penetrated your flesh like twirling needles. You were as light as a feather. You weighed nothing, were nothing. All so easy to pluck and throw about. You never made a noise when your body collided with the bamboo walls, just letting gravity and Sukuna play a twisted ball game with your lump of a body.

You hadn't protested when he violated you. As his lips bit every inch of your body raw. For some unearthly reason that even the gods couldn't understand, would never want to understand, you had found the Curse's violent actions rather...adoring. Taking every slap and slash with the earnest pride of a small child getting praised for a day of relentless chores. letting the dawn-tinted-haired monster adorn your body in blue and purple jewels. It felt right, in a  pathetically, nauseating, twisted way...it just felt right.

 It was disastrous, sure, but it was right. Like two universes crashing. Destroying each other with every kiss and every bruise. 

But...

For the first time in your meaningless life, you had truly understood what "happiness" felt like. 

For the first time in his endless life, Sukuna had truly understood what "intimacy" felt like.

///

Was it wrong to kiss you? For a fraction of a second Sukuna hesitated, blood tinged lips hovering millimeters away from your own stone-set ones. The moon's cursed rays acting like an unnoticed barrier, keeping two things out of each other's grasp. His lips curled back revealing two rows of knife-like teeth. The last resort, a final hope that you'd run away, that you'd act somewhat normal. The king of curses, the evil among men, didn't mind your lack of regularity. He didn't mind how you leaned into every bitter strike, every painful display of fading affection . He adored how you merely giggled as he slashed open your uncharged skin, creating slits for your blood to spill through, onto his waiting tongue. He admired your lifelessness, the way you radiated death. 

Oh, how you filled him with a startling aftershock every time he touched you. Every time his tongue lapped at your bleeding skin he'd feel the sort of electric shocks that came after the storms had passed. Your body had no shape, it molded to his touch, turning his favorite shades of red, with just a little pressure. 

But sometimes, in fleeting, endless seconds. He wished he had a name for what you two were. You weren't his per se, you could never be his. Being his would indicate that he cared about you, or heck even loved you and that could never be true. The king of curses did not love, nor care. He merely tolerated you; you fascinated him, that's all. 

It had been many moons since he first found you in that no-name village. Months upon months since you'd been by his side. You'd watched as he'd destroyed cities, helped him even. Eyes never shedding a single tear. Mouth never uttering a single protest. 

The two of you had become the best, the King of curses and the Queen of nothingness. With the dying speed of laboring bees, Sukuna had carved himself inside of you. Twisted emptiness into flower-covered destruction. Into molten gold lava. 

Leaving you with wounds that were stuck in a cycle of healing and opening. Until they began to harden like his. Until the need for spilled blood lingered on your tongue like the burn of boiled tea. Until under your nails were coated in a decaying crust of dried blood. Sukuna hadn't turned you into a monster, he'd simply showed you the powers that came with your apathy. With a heart as torn and cold as yours, it was a shame to let it go to waste. 

"You're not half bad," his tone is never approving. It's always laced with a strictness that keeps you nailed into place. His words are oxymorons sounding like praise, but once you peel back the lather layers they're just taunts in disguise. 

You don't answer, words die on your tongue as quickly as they are born. Sukuna can't even remember what your voice sounds like outside of small whispers in heat filled nights. 

 However, to the two of you, things like that didn't matter. Your lack of being even semi-alive and Sukuna's endless abuse had become a norm for the two of you. Where else were a two-faced monster and a lifeless girl going to find love anyway? 

Sukuna was all you had, all you ever had. You'd die for him, kill for him, turn into anything for him. Because he gave you life. 

A purpose to life, made out of raging fires and endless screams. A life fabricated from the pain and suffering of others. That was what the king of curses had given you, all wrapped in a human skin parchment. Maybe that's why all logic withered away the first night he kissed you, maybe from the first second that you sensed his presence you had finally gained a reason to be alive. 

///

Whoever said the end of the world was beautiful? Whoever said the final days would be bright and glowing and pure? 

It's just a blaze of stray flames and red crystal droplets that may or may not be your blood. Funny, Sukuna had always thought that your blood would be as black as the moonless sky, not a mundane red like everyone else's. He'd expected a grander death from you. Some sort of black hole opening to swallow the world whole. Not just another corpse motionless in a pool of their own blood. 

Although he's not one to talk. His own 'death' is lingering on the horizon. Sukuna's head tilts back looking for the flashing jujutsu sorcerers. 

"S-sukun-a..." 

He smirks, fangs sticking out at odd angles. Your voice is sweet, for the first time in forever he'd even dare say it held some semblance of emotion. 

What that emotion is, he doubts he knows or even really cares. He'd long since stopped trying to identify all those "feelings" and their associated names. 

His orange eyes lock with your fading orbs, one last time. No, not the last time, just the final time in this lifetime. He's sure he's going to see you again. In any other life, Sukuna knows he'll be able to recognize you despite whatever flesh suit you'd be wearing. 

"Shh little one," he's halfway gone before he finishes his sentence, leaving you to relish in his memory in your final moments. "We'll see each other once more, someday in another life..."

His four eyes lock on the approaching sorcerers. He finds it humorous how desperate they look. How alive and ready they seem, such a stark contrast to your ever lifeless face and dead eyes, it repulses him. 

"Or maybe in one of the circles of hell." 

The flames encircling his fingers remind him of the heat your body radiated in the dead of night. The crack from bones hum as they meet his knuckles, flash memories of your days wasted together doing nothing and everything. 

The two of you will meet once more, he's sure of it. After all...

Monsters never die. 

How could something that was never even born in the first place, ever die?

[eirikaanemo]

I was wondering is I could get a scenario where reader is actually a descendant of decarabian and is out to get revenge on barbatos and take back mondstat and barbatos’s gnosis so they can become the anemo archon. They are a spy in mondstat trying to gather information before they put their plan into full affect but end up falling in love with venti in the process and don’t know if they want to get revenge anymore so they tell venti everything.

Of course, I would be happy to! Thank you for being my first request! This is a little long, but I hope you like it!

Child of the Storm

Warnings: Some angst in the middle

Venti x GN!Reader

2.8k Words

Decarabian had many children. These children are known as storm sprites. Quite a few exist, though their numbers are greatly diminished now that he has fallen and Barbatos became the Anemo Archon. They’re mostly peaceful, but not all of them. Not you.

No, you want revenge. Barbatos took what was rightfully your father’s, the anemo gnosis and position as Archon. Decarabian had only been doing what he felt was right. He was protecting the people from the harsh and cruel colds of the outside world. And this was how he was rewarded?

It’s not like Barbatos is a good Archon anyway. He goes missing for centuries at a time, sleeping his time away. He doesn’t actively protect and guide his people. He is lazy and irresponsible. He does not deserve what is rightfully your father’s. And so, since your father cannot take the gnosis and rise to his rightful station, you will.

This is not something that is easily done. Even though he is the weakest of the Archons, Barbatos is still an Archon. There is an inherent power and ability that comes from simply holding a gnosis. So you must prepare.

To do so, you become a spy in Mondstadt. It takes a lot of power to create a human form. But using the remnants of your father’s power and what power you have in reserve, you manage it. You integrate yourself in the city by becoming a knight of favonius and making many friends. Kaeya in particular is rather fond of you.

Why a knight? You may as well protect your people in the meantime. Hypocrisy is not a good look on you. And having many friends will help you get more information and have a better cover. So your plan begins. You do not actively speak against Barbatos, but you do not speak or act in his favor either. Your friends come to know you as a sort of neutral party on religion.

It baffled you how everyone in the city seemed to love Barbatos. How could they love an absent Archon? How could they love someone who abandoned them and hate one who was always there for them? Nothing about it made sense.

Your plan works perfectly. It was slow at first, but you’ve started to get more and more information on the going ons of the city. Most of it is trustworthy, but don't sources, like gossiping with Kaeya, tend to have mixed results. Sometimes his information is factual and completely true. Sometimes it is something he seems to have made up off the top of his head.

One evening you were waiting for Kaeya to meet you at Angel’s Share for another one of your information sharing (read: gossiping) sessions. As you wait you take a moment to enjoy the music played by one of the many bards that play at the tavern. The music tonight is particularly good and played by a bard in green.

His teal tipped braids, dark hair, and flower in his cap compliment his fair complexion. The tips of his braids seem to almost glow in the dark. His slim fingers seem to dance across the strings of his lyre. It’s an enchanting sight and you may have just fallen a little in love. Just a little.

Vengeance is your whole purpose, you cannot allow something like a little infatuation to distract you from that. And yet you can’t help but return to the bar over and over just to see him play. You start to tip him anonymously with apples and wine. It’s not your fault, he’s just too good at what he does. This is just you giving him the reward he deserves.

He eventually catches on and finds out who’s leaving the tips, because Charles is a dirty traitor. But it would be easier to be mad if Venti wasn’t so grateful and happy to have figured out it’s you who’s leaving the tips. The two of you formally introduce yourselves to each other and strike up a good conversation. You end up spending a lot of time together with him after his performances. He seems to enjoy those nights as much as you do. And sometimes you catch him staring at you with a dreamy look out of the corner of your eye.

But you start noticing a couple odd things. He has an absolutely ridiculous alcohol tolerance with no sign of debilitating hangovers. While singing, he doesn’t seem to stop as often to breath as much as other bards. It could be passed off as him just being better a better bard, except for the fact that it’s by a superhuman margin.

When you spot him turning into a wind sprite to sleep in a small shelter in an alleyway, it explains a lot of things. However, some of your questions go unanswered until one night when you’re playing around as a storm sprite. You notice him sitting on the hands of the statue of Barbatos and get curious. He seems to be speaking, so you hide behind the statue and listen carefully to what he is saying.

“Oh, Himmel,” he sighs. “Am I doing the right thing? Everyone seems happy, but would they be happier if I was a better and more active Archon?” Your world stops. How is this possible? Why him? Why did it have to be him? Could you even do this anymore? What in the world would you do with yourself if not this? If you’re honest with yourself you have to admit that you have come to love him.

This is your life purpose! But you love him! How can you fulfill your purpose if it requires you to harm the one you have come to love? What would your father think? Nevermind, you know what your father would think. He would call you a weakling for not following through. But he’s dead. So does what he would say even matter anymore?

Your existential crisis lasts for a solid week. Venti notices how distant you’ve become and does ask about it, but leaves it be once he sees that you’re not ready to talk about it. One day it becomes too much. He deserves to know, you decide. It may be hard and may drive him away from you entirely.

But you can’t keep this from him. Doing so wouldn’t be right and he should know the truth before the two of you even consider having more of a relationship than you already have. So no matter how much it scares you and tears you up inside, you choose to tell him.

���Venti, could you meet me at Starsnatch cliff tomorrow?” You ask him, nervously. “I have something I need to tell you.” He seems surprised, but is agreeable to the idea. “Sure,” he replies. “I’ll see you then!” The smile he sends you kills you a little more inside.

“I need to go,” you tell him as you hurriedly got up, paid your bill, and left. “Was it something I said?” Venti wondered behind you. Shrugging, he takes another sip of his drink. “Well, I guess I can ask them tomorrow.”

Tomorrow comes too soon, after a sleepless night of tossing and turning in your bed. There is nothing you want to do less than go to Starsnatch cliff, but you promised. So you go. You take your time getting there before sitting down with your feet dangling off the edge of the cliff. The day is beautiful. Much too beautiful for a day that may just ruin your life forever.

Taking a deep breath, you notice some footsteps coming up behind you. “Hey there,” Venti says. “It took me a while to find you. Be a bit more specific next time, won’t you?” You nod absentmindedly and pat the ground next to you. After he sits down, you start.

“Once upon a time there was a storm sprite, a child of Decarabian. They were created near the end of his reign, too young to join in the effort to protect him and his cause: protecting the people of Mondstadt from the cold blizzards of the outside. This was before the snows were blown away, and blizzards were abundant. Decarabian had created a barrier to protect his people from almost certain death.

“Yet his people did not appreciate his protection. They rebelled against him and he fell before them. If Barbatos had not risen to power, the people would have faced almost certain death to the harsh winds of Boreas.

“But, in any case, there was only one storm sprite left in the area to hear his dying wish. He wished for vengeance, retribution for the injustice he received for fulfilling his duty to protect. And it became that storm sprite’s purpose for existence. Or so they thought.

“They spent many, many centuries plotting the downfall of Barbatos, growing in power slowly. Eventually they were able to create a human form and walk among the people of Mondstadt. And walk among the people they did, collecting information and preparing for the date they would finally find Barbatos and take back what was rightfully their father’s.”

You stop a moment for a chance to breathe and glance at him to see how he was taking the story. He looked thoughtful and he gazed out towards the horizon. So you take courage and continue.

“But then, something happened- something completely unplanned. The storm sprite fell in love. At first it was just infatuation but it grew and grew until it became something stronger and more pure. They truly loved, for the first time since their father had died. And there were signs that the one they loved might even feel the same.

“Then something happened. Something that made their whole world fall apart. They found out that the one they had grown to love was Lord Barbatos himself.” There was a moment of silence. You don’t dare look at him. You are absolutely terrified. After you take a deep breath to steady yourself, you keep talking.

“They didn’t know what to do. Their purpose was to destroy the man and everything he stood for. But their heart would never let them do it. Eventually they made a very difficult decision. They would tell him.

“This is my story, Venti. This is my life and my past. It’s not pretty and it’s not kind. You have every right to hate me, despise me. If you no longer want anything to do with me, I would understand. I just… like I said, I just felt that you deserve to know.”

There’s another moment of silence, slightly longer, heavier, and more awkward than the ones before. When you turned to look at him, drawing your knees up to your chest, you saw him looking at you, pensive. What did he see? You wonder. Does he see a monster who was plotting his demise? Does he see someone unforgivable and unwanted? Will he send me away from Mondstadt forever?

As you looked down at your shoes, a thousand more thoughts running through your mind, he finally spoke. “Well, I’ll admit that this is not what I thought you’d wanted to talk about today. I was expecting something more along the lines of a confession, honestly. And I suppose you did admit that you love me as part of your story, but part of me wishes that you had stopped there.”

If possible, your head drops lower as you press your forehead to your knees. “But,” he carried on. “I’m grateful that you told me this. It really would have messed things up more if you waited until we were in a relationship to tell me. For now, I’d say you should keep going on as you are. Live your life the best you can. I would really prefer if you found a new purpose, one that doesn’t end in my utter destruction, but you’re free to make that decision.

“I won’t chase you out, if that’s something you’re worried about. You’ve proven that you love Mondstadt and cherish it’s people. But I will ask for some space. It’s going to take some time for me to process all of this. I’m going to go now. I’ll approach you when I’m ready, please leave me be until then.”

“Okay,” you whisper loud enough for him to hear. Then he gets up and walks off. You cry until you can’t cry any more. You’re not sure why, you deserve this and were expecting this after all. But it still hurts. The close relationship the two of you had was gone. And you miss it already.

After some time you pull yourself together, clean yourself up best you can, and head back to Mondstadt. You follow his advice and keep going with your life. Your new purpose, you decide, is to serve and protect Mondstadt and all its people. Kaeya and your other friends notice something’s different and ask about it in concern.

Most lay off after you say you’re not ready to talk about it. But Kaeya, being the persuasive and stubborn guy he is, didn’t give up until you admitted that you’d done something that messed up your relationship with Venti. He knew how much Venti meant to you and made time to be with you more while Venti took his time deciding what he’d do about it.

Then Dvalin started attacking, a traveler came to visit, and fatui were more abundant. You would have loved to take action against all of these, but Venti was so closely entwined with all of these issues that you didn’t dare. Things seemed to be working out okay without you anyway.

But then you felt a disturbance. A fatui was approaching the cathedral. That was odd because while the fatui aren’t exactly subtle about not respecting Lord Barbatos, they were never as bold as to go near his cathedral. Something was wrong and you were determined to find out what.

You arrived just as La Signora tore his gnosis out. While you froze in shock for a moment, you burst into motion the minute she stopped for a moment to look at it. With the speed of a burst of lightning, you snatched the gnosis from her hand and disappeared. You only stopped when you reached Old Mondstadt, but you could still hear her scream of rage.

You stash the gnosis away, hidden in a satchel that you usually carry with you. As you’re heading home you run across Kaeya. After talking with him for a moment, you get an idea. “Kaeya, could you deliver a message to Venti for me?” You ask. “Sure,” he said, smirking a little. “Are you going to try and make it up to him?”

“In a way,” you respond. “Just tell him to meet me where we last spoke, okay?” After a moment of fake consideration and stroking his non-existent beard, he agreed and the two of you parted ways. He went on to Mondstadt and you headed to Starsnatch Cliff.

You didn’t wait long, a four pair of footsteps came quickly. From their pace you could tell that they’d run all the way there. Once they came to a stop you turn to greet them. They were guarded and wary, which was understandable, but it still hurt.

When you pull the gnosis out of your bag, you see looks of shock. “What?” You question. “Did you think I would claim it myself or something?” The traveler nodded, Diluc shrugged, Jean wobbled her head back and forth, while Venti looked a little ashamed of himself. You smile ruefully. “I guess I deserve that. But here,” you hand the gnosis over to Venti. “I believe this is yours.”

He looks at the gnosis, then at you, then the gnosis, and repeats the pattern a couple times, his eyes wide. Eventually his eyes settle on you as he absorbs the gnosis. When the shine of his transformation was still wearing off, you feel a pair of arms wrap around you and hug you to a chest.

“Thank you,” Venti murmurs in your ear. “I think you’ve more than proven yourself to me. I forgive you. How could I ever thank you for this?” You smile and hug him back. “Maybe you could consider joining me for lunch tomorrow?” You smile even wider when you feel him kiss your cheek. “I think I can do that,” he agrees.

When the two of you part, he un-transforms, and you both turn to look his companions. Diluc has one eyebrow raised. Jean seems to have gone into shock. Traveler’s face is bright red and Paimon is covering their eyes and glaring at you. You both laugh, making Paimon glare harder. Diluc actually cracks a smile. And Jean snaps out of her shock and laughs a little with you.

Your date the next day goes wonderfully, and neither of you can wait for the next one.

[urijihoons-blog]

Bokuto: Clarity

/ Kōtarō Bokuto x reader /

genre: angst to kind of fluff ish(?)

wc: 1507

summary: After you leave Bokuto in the hotel, crap hits the fan.

warnings: none.

a/n: thank you guys so much for your love!!!! :)) means the world to me!! pt1 can be found here :)

pt2

///

Where could she have gone? This is all my fault. Is she safe? I need to fix this. Am I strong enough to?

Bokuto took long strides back to the hotel room with the full intention of finding you and making sure you were at the very least safe. He made you this way, he made you upset and irrational.

You flinched under his touch. The memory still freshly burned into his mind, for a brand is something that cannot simply be erased.

He shakes the pain away, focusing on the task at hand, finding you. He swipes the room key and glides around the suite, finding warm clothes for his search in the night. He checks his phone every couple of seconds in between his clothing search. It’s made clear almost immediately that you’ve turned of your phone, sending him to voicemail and making him unable to see your location. Great.

When he’s completely ready to leave the room, he can’t find his rental car keys anywhere. He searches the bedside table, the dresser, the bathroom, and that’s when he finds it. On the bed sits the box containing his anniversary present from you.

He doesn’t even know when you laid it here, which is strange because he can remember every heart-wrenching second of you being in this room. He picks it up tenderly, and sits soundlessly on the edge of the bed. He can guess what it is, it’s not everyday you get a box shaped like this. His throat goes dry, vision already getting a slight blur around the edges.

The tiny box is covered in black silk, soft to the touch. He presses it open with a snap and his shoulders tighten. Inside is the wedding ring you had picked out for him. It is a thick band of pale silver, with an inscription on the inside of the bend. It read, ‘Forever, my love.’ Bokuto gingerly takes the ring from the box, and puts it on. It’s a perfect fit, and it looked just as he was sure you intended it to.

“I have destroyed my own happiness.” He whispers to himself, alone in his dark hotel suite.

His phone starts to buzz in his jacket pocket and he frantically tries to pull it out, not even noticing the stream of tears staining his shirt. Is it you? Are you okay? Where are you?

“Bokuto, you won’t believe what Tamra is saying to everyone in the bar right now! Did you really do that to Y/N? I-“

He cut Hinata off quickly, trying to clear his name, “I promise, it isn’t at all wha-“

“Uh, I’ve got to call you back.”

//

You have to recompose yourself again as you walk into a crowded building going straight for the noisy bar area when you hear a clear, familiar voice ring, “Uh, I’ve got to call you back.” You turn in that same direction where you see Hinata and a couple of the other guys out having drinks. Great. “Y/N?” You barely hear over the sounds of drinks clinking and people bustling.

“Shoyo, I-“ You start off, just trying to be alone right now.

“And then, someone knocks on the door, and guess who it is?” A woman laughs obnoxiously, loud enough for the whole bar to cringe. That voice. “It’s his girlfriend! The look on her face when she saw me in just a towel-“

You walk over calmly to the table containing Bokuto’s teammates, all of them looking extremely uncomfortable by this story. When you come into complete view, the whole group stiffens. Hinata is trying to stop you, saying something you can’t quite hear. Everything is moving so fast in your mind, as if you’re not in control over yourself anymore, you’re simply along for the ride. You stroll right up to stand face-to-face with her, staring into this girl’s, Tamra’s, eyes. “I’m not a girlfriend,” You lift your left hand up while wiggling your ring finger, and put your right hand’s palm on the back of her head, slamming it onto the table. “I’m the fiancé.”

At the sudden sound of a crack of wood fills the room, the building goes completely silent. You jump back in surprise at your lack of control in this moment, equal parts horrified and satisfied. You walk briskly out of the building, hoping that you could escape before someone decided to call the cops on you for assault.

As you walk down the empty street, tugging your collar to hide your neck and cheeks from the frosty air, your barriers come down yet again. Your knees buckle and you have to steady yourself on the nearby wall of a building just to keep from completely collapsing to the ground. Your shoulders are heavy with the weight of today, and you just want to forget it all happened.

I don’t want to believe this, I can’t believe this, my Bo would never.

But he did.

You saw the evidence, you heard the story. The hands you gave your heart to keep safe tore it in two right in front of your eyes. It’s all right there, slapping you over and over again. Random flashes of the night start playing in your mind, reminding you of your fresh wounds. To escape the windy night, and your misery, you decide to try another bar.

After you enter, you realize it’s a pretty low-key place. It was dim, the bar area was almost completely empty, and they were playing calming orchestral music in the speakers. You found a chair to call your own for the night, felt someone claim the seat beside you, and after that everything’s a blur.

//

“Kuto, you are never going to guess who I just saw at the bar!” Hinata practically screams into the phone, right into Bokuto’s ear.

“Who-“

“Y/N!” He says excitedly, “She overheard Tamra and she-“

“Where is she? Please go grab her! She’s run off and turned off her cellphone!” Bokuto expresses his worry. “Better yet, where are you? I’m on my way.”

Bokuto stands from the bed immediately, finally finding the keys in his jacket pocket. He had them the whole time? Ugh. He stomps out of the hotel room, hastily walking to the elevator. “Oh, she left a little bit ago, we had to stop Tamra’s nose from bleeding.” Hinata let out a little giggle. “We thought she broke it.” Bokuto let out an internal sigh. Wait-

“What happened at the bar again?”

“Come to our usual hangout and I’ll explain everything when you get here.”

-

Bokuto arrives on the scene to a smily Hinata, a sea of angry stares from his teammates, and a pissed-off, red-faced Tamra. As he sat down at the table, no one made a sound. “Where’s your little slut?” Tamra broke the silence, managing a devilish smirk. She stepped towards Bokuto with ease.

“I don’t believe you have any grounds to call someone a slut, not today not ever.” Bokuto spat back, his eyes dark with resentment. Tamra stiffened immediately. “Get away from me, now.”

“That’s not what you were saying earlier,” her eyes narrowed, taking another daring step closer, trying to keep her seductive air about her. “you know, in your hotel room?”

“Oh yes, yes I did, you just don’t know how to listen.” Bokuto shot back, pushing off the table to tower over her. He looked down at her in disgust. “Now, get away from me.” Tamra flinched under his glare, and wordlessly walked into the crowd.

“What do you mean you told her to get away?” “Wait-“ “Does this mean-“

Bokuto looked over at his teammates, all of them sharing similar facial expressions of confusion. “What I’m trying to say is that I didn’t cheat on Y/N.” The table’s faces went from looks of confusion, to relief, and ended in gloom as Bokuto explained the entirety of his whole night. He finally sat back down after he finished, slamming his fist on the table in complete frustration. He mournfully looked down at his left hand, thinking of your sad eyes on the elevator. The woman he loved so much, turning away from him. “What am I going to do?”

“Tell her!” Hinata grabbed his hair in his hands, tugging on it with aggravation. “Freakin’ duh!”

“But,” Bokuto couldn’t lift his head to meet his team’s eyes, his shoulders slouched, “I’ve lost her trust.” He said just above a whisper. “She left the hotel and turned off her phone. I’ve left countless text messages, so many voicemails. She’s somewhere out in this city alone, and I’m afraid for her and her safety.” He closes his eyes, his eyelashes wet. “What if she doesn’t believe me? I wouldn’t blame her. Worse, what if she does believe me, and still chooses to leave?” He sniffles. I don’t think I could live with it. “What am I going to do?”

“That’s why you have us, Kuto.” Hinata places a hand on his tense shoulder. “We will help you find her.”

///

I really hope this lived up to pt1, and if you really enjoy it like/comment for a pt3!! :)))) again, thank you so much for the love and support, it means so much!!

Update: heres part 3 :)

[agentnico]

The Suicide Squad (2021) Review

This may be the better of the two, but the first Suicide Squad film will always hold the crown for managing to win an Oscar... somehow.

Plot: The government sends the most dangerous supervillains in the world -- Bloodsport, Peacemaker, King Shark, Harley Quinn and others -- to the remote, enemy-infused island of Corto Maltese. Armed with high-tech weapons, they trek through the dangerous jungle on a search-and-destroy mission, with only Col. Rick Flag on the ground to make them behave.

“So that’s it, huh? We’re some kind of suicide squad?” says Will Smith in the original first film, with the line in itself being a poor attempt at a fourth wall break, yet, that movie never reached that promise of being a true Suicide Squad film. Because hardly anyone died, and as a whole David Ayer’s film was a generic mess, regardless of studio interference or not. In comes James Gunn from Marvel, who seems to have cracked the code for how to bring this comic book series to live action in proper gratuitous form, with even the ‘The’ in the title symbolizing that this is the one!

I remember going to see the first Guardians of the Galaxy film at the cinema, and back then I was still only just getting acquainted with watching western media, and that included superhero films. Heck my first ever Marvel movie was Thor: The Dark World! I know, what a banger to start with.......NAAAWT!! Anyway, I went to see Guardians and it was one of the first superhero films I came out of feeling like I truly witnessed something special. It had action, comedy and a good heart to it, and wouldn’t you know, my good old pal James Gunn was behind that flick. I don’t know why I called him my good old pal, I don’t even know the fella. Except in my dreams, but we don’t talk about that. So, flashforward to Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, which I absolutely hated, and for that movie I’m pretty sure Marvel gave Mr Gunn mostly full reigns of creative freedom, as long as he kept it family friendly, and the result was a mess. Hence naturally now I was really sceptical when James Gunn ended up at Warner Bros. following the controversial moment when cancel culture decided to aim it’s slimy fingers at him, as he was given directing and writing duties for this new The Suicide Squad film, and also it was heavily insinuated that Warner Bros. basically told him he could do with the movie whatever the f*** he wanted, excuse my French. And we remember how it panned out last time when James Gunn was given a lot of creative freedom. 

Flashforward to present day; here I am wondering and scratching my head thinking what in the heavens has happened, as by golly I am happy to report that The Suicide Squad is a total winner and a blast with a capital B - Blast! Gosh goodness golly goblin, this movie is so much fun from beginning to end. Right from the opening sequence you know that this film isn’t holding back any punches. It’s going at a 447.19 km/h speed of a Koenigsegg Agera RS crashing through any barriers like it’s nothing. Speaking of the opening sequence, it establishes why the movie is called what it’s called from the get-go. You straight away are proven how not a single character is safe, minus the obvious one that we know who it is, as there ain’t no way Warner Bros. would have allowed James Gunn to kill off that one character. But besides that person, everyone else feels like they could die at any given moment. That’s really a big charm of it, as it is frustrating how in many superhero films, let alone any blockbuster action flicks, so many characters always feel so safe and unstoppable, no matter how many times they get shot or how many buildings crash down upon them. And yes, this movie features a certain CGI character that constantly gets that treatment and survives, although it’s very self aware in that regard and is purposefully humoristic. But overall the entire set of characters feel easily disposable, and so so many of them die in such gruesome fashion, so indeed don’t get attached, as they don’t. 

Speaking of which, this movie is hardcore gory! You see limbs and intestines flying round left and right, a guy gets ripped in half by a humanoid shark, another’s face gets teared off by a shotgun bullet and so on forth in all kinds of gruesome fashion. Visually this is one for the big screen, as here’s the thing: you’re either a mummy’s boy or you grow some cojones and go see a man’s heart get stabbed with a piece of debris glass in 4K high rate definition! Your choice! Oh, and it’s not just the violence, also the cinematography and the practical set pieces all look incredible. This is easily James Gunn’s best looking movie. The entire think LOOKS incredible!

We also have to talk about the cast, as they are all great! There literally isn’t a single weakling among them. Each one, no matter how big or small their role is, brings something to the table. I can’t talk about all of them, as we’d be here all day, so I’m simply going to mention a few of the stand-outs. Idris Elba comes in to replace Will Smith as a character called Bloodsport, who is in some ways a different character but evidently is a replacement of Smith’s. But that’s no bad thing, as with any ensemble movie you still need a main character to latch onto and have an emotional hook towards, and he is that character. In fact, I’d say he’s arguably better than Will Smith in the last movie, or at least he seems to be having more fun here. He works as a solid leading man, however what works even more is his banterous competitive genital-size-measuring back and forth with John Cena’s Peacemaker, who by the way is awesome as that character. He is not a good character, in fact he is as bad as a bad guy can get, especially cause he’s someone who believes that what he is doing is right, making him much more of a dangerous wild card. This is easily John Cena’s best role, with him adding to the comedy one-liners, but also delivering such an interesting character who I’m looking forward to seeing more of in his standalone spin-off show confirmed for next year. Oh, and he wears a toilet helmet on his head which he defines as “a beacon of freedom” which says it all. We also have returning characters from the last film Joel Kinnaman and Viola Davis as Rick Flag and Amanda Waller respectively, and both are given much more room to stretch their talents and spread their beautiful acting wings like the Hollywood angels that they are. Kinnaman’s Rick Flag is the moral compass of the group, as even though Elba is our main guy, he’s nonetheless a villain still, whilst Flag is a genuinely good guy and what is defined as a true American hero, to which Kinnaman fits the part well. And Viola Davis as Amanda Waller is on an absolutely different level. You can tell she’s an Academy Award winner through and through, as she plays such a serious character in an otherwise goofy movie, and so her presence is felt and it is felt BAD! She’s such a despicable yet intimidating personality and she gravitates all of the screen presence to herself. Margot Robbie returns as Harley Quinn, and she gets even more chance to develop this character that she’s played in multiple DCEU films now, and as per usual the Harley Quinn shtick works well for her, though I do kind of wish she didn’t always get all the attention. Look, I think she’s a fun character and Robbie plays her well, however she’s constantly used to overshadow others in these films which I don’t think is too fair, and its evident as ever in this film too. Anyway, the remainder of the cast including Jay Courtney as Captain Boomerang, David Dastmalchian as Polka-Dot Man, Michael Rooker as Savant, Nathan Fillion as TDK, Daniela Melchior as Ratcatcher 2 (who gave me strong A Plague Tale: Innocence vibes) and many more all play villains, but villains that don’t have particularly great superpowers. This is where the tragedy of Task Force X as a team plays a part, as many of these villains aren’t even good at being villains. They are useless, and the movie is really self aware of this and so treats all characters as they should be. Dare I also not forget to mention the CGI characters in this film, with both Weasel and King Shark being absolute scene stealers! 

The Suicide Squad is the type of wham-bam-thank-you-mam batshit crazy entertainment which exists for the pure reasons of fun. It doesn’t set out to be the best superhero film ever, nor does it need to be. It’s an exhilarating, shocking, funny and amusing ride from beginning to end, with the energy never stopping, and is easily the best time I’ve had with a comic-book film in a long while, and I’m even talking about before COVID! Do yourself a favour and watch this one as soon as you can, as I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again - The Suicide Squad is a BLAST!!

Overall score: 9/10

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

I got escape for the word generator, so can I get yandere trigger happy havoc boys with and s/o who's the ultimate escape artist?

Ooooo I haven’t written any yandere content in a hot minute *eyes emoji*

.............

Mondo

Not too knowledgeable on how to properly tie someone up himself.

His gang usually takes care of that with rope, chains, and bent metal pipes.

So it’s rather easy for his s/o to slip out of any restraint they’re put into.

Of course, Mondo will throw a massive temper tantrum every time to scare them into staying hidden.

But if any of the members tried to beat them up to get them to comply...

Well, let’s say they’re never seen again and Mondo’s gotta wash tons of pink off his hands.

Crazy Diamonds could disband for all he cares--they come second, his s/o is first.

His s/o feels bad for the gang, and wonders if Daiya would ever approve of this.

Taka

He’s madly in love with his s/o--finally being able to experience romance without studies or family matters hindering him.

But is it to the point where he’d try to restrict their free will so they couldn’t abandon him? No. 

The first time he tried to, he only managed to approach them with a chloroform rag....

Before giving up and crying into their arms, ashamed of his intentions.

His s/o is alarmed by his bizarre change in behavior, but comforts him and promises they won’t leave him.

He just becomes overly affectionate and clingy instead, trying to study all he can about romance to be the perfect lover.

Taka is the nicest type of yandere...if you could even call him that.

Kiyondo

If Taka’s soul-bond takes over, he pretty much acts like Mondo.

Minus the biker gang.

Though he’ll try barriers, zip ties--anything he can find to keep his s/o from leaving him.

But his work is often sloppily done, since part of him is still somewhat convinced his actions are wrong and immoral.

When they do get free, he just huffs and has a brief temper tantrum.

Though eventually he walks away to cool off.

Usually he’s back to normal sometime after that.

Leon

Doesn’t care about music, baseball, or even his own looks anymore.

But when he sees someone being a bit too “friendly” or rude to his s/o...

Suddenly he feels like practicing some swings with that baseball bat in his closet.

When that’s taken care of, he’d try to imprison them in a batting cage, using whatever kind of lock he can get his hands on...

...only to turn around and find his s/o outside of it, holding said lock with a bored expression.

“A common lock? That’s child’s play. You really need to step up your game, sugar.”

*insert the ghostly face Leon made when Makoto demanded he showed his toolkit to the class*.

Chihiro

With this seemingly sweet and innocent boy, it’s hard to believe he’d be a challenge for the Ultimate Escape Artist.

But you’d be wrong.

He learned how to program locks with complex codes and ciphers that are nearly unsolvable by anyone except him.

Keyword is “nearly”, because he does feel some guilt if he keeps his s/o confined for too long.

So he’ll scatter numbers and letters around the room, allowing them to piece together the code on their own.

Usually the keys are things of “importance” to him like their birthday, the day they met Chihiro, their anniversary date, etc.

Yasuhiro

Any type of restraint he tries only has a 30% chance of working.

Which is quite low, and so his s/o escapes quickly.

Though he did manage to put them into the Robo Justice suit (minus the helmet), having learned how it works and making sure he destroyed the blueprints.

For once they’re actually stuck for a bit, and he’s shocked but pleased with himself.

“Hiro, we can’t have dates or properly hug when I’m in this suit, y’know..”

“....really?? Awh man..”

He’s gullible as hell and decides to drop the whole yandere thing after they get free.

Hifumi

He’s thought of..interesting ways to trap his s/o.

But he’s too nervous to actually try anything, given how smart and skilled they are at escaping.

So he just writes fanfics about it instead.

Definitely calls himself “yandere” and looks into yandere-based animes.

But he’s fairly harmless.

So his s/o doesn’t have much to worry about.

It’s safe to say his love for them surpasses his love for 2-D.

Togami

He’s read about many escape artists and other criminals/delinquents in his spare time.

So he knows their tactics--their methods of escape.

He doesn’t see his s/o any differently from them.

But he still loves them dearly, so he makes the traps/restraints he utilizes like a game for both of them.

If they break free, he tries something else the next day. Something more difficult.

He just wants to see how long it takes before they quit and surrender.

But they’re stubborn, like him, so it’s entertaining.

Makoto

He won’t even try anything.

Although he worries about his s/o leaving him for being “average”, it’s not like he wants them to live a restricted life.

From time to time, he might corner them and ask them where they’ve been.

But he’s quick to drop the act and apologize.

Like Hifumi and Taka he won’t cause any problems whatsoever.

He only trusts that with his luck, they’ll stay with him.

[giorno-plays-piano]

The Spider's Bride Part 5

Pairing: spider!Bucky x Reader

Warnings: yandere, obsession, forced marriage, smut, breeding.

Words: 1835.

Summary: Whoever your stepmother sold you to, he wasn’t as honorable as she claimed.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

_____________

That night was the new beginning. Despite Bucky refusing to do anything except kissing you, you spent several hours talking and getting to know each other like lovers would, finally. You ceased to be afraid of him, the only one who had truly cared about you and ready to smother you with love and constant attention. In one week you tried watching Bucky regaining his true form, and, though it wasn't easy, you didn't feel repulsed or frightened to death. He was just different. Slowly, you came to terms with it.

The more open-minded you became, the easier it was to accept the reality you lived in now. You were lucky to have Bucky's sisters always encouraging you to get to know the world around you better: you could talk to them about things you were too embarrassed to ask your betrothed, and they had never even once refused you. At one point you started going out to the town, Bucky always close to you to protect you from anything you deemed scary. Though you were an outsider, someone who didn't even belong to the same kind as them, you were treated with respect and provided with support you needed so much. You even made a few friends, two female arachnids and a couple of elderly dark elves.

Then the day of the wedding had come. By this time you got accustomed to Bucky's spider form so much that being around many of his relatives - dear Lord, since he lived alone you could never guess he had such a big family - wasn't frightening at all. More than that, you really enjoyed being carried by your beloved on his spider-like body because the fancy wedding dress heavily embroidered with pearls and silver threads made it nearly impossible to move for you. Funny, just months ago you couldn't force yourself to look at those eight long legs with claws on the ends.

"Bucky, on your right!" Before the vicious lamia attacked the two of you, you had casted a barrier, protecting Bucky from a strong snake tail ready to strike.

Snapping out of his thoughts, your husband let out a strong silver rope that wrapped itself around creature's tail while Bucky charmed the monster, making it fall to the ground with a loud thud. You exhaled loudly above his ear, rubbing his chest and clinging closer to him.

"Dear, it's not the time to space out just yet." You said, dropping a kiss to the top of his head. "I don't want the kids to worry about their careless dad getting injured."

His cheeks grew warm at the mention of your kids, beautiful boy and girl you had given him a few years ago. There was nothing else that could bring Bucky more joy than watching you and them playing in the evening, his house filled with cheerful laugh and loud voices. He had never known he could ever give someone as much love as he gave his family, but Bucky didn't know someone could love him so strongly in return either. He had never felt happier in his entire life.

He adored graceful forms you had granted your children, their bodies looking even more human than his sisters', but when he talked about that, you always interrupted him saying that he doesn't look less beautiful to you just because he has more hair and his body is darker than theirs. It was unfair, you said and kept kissing him until he melted from your touch. One day you had to give him a big lecture upon judging the others based on their looks. Bucky couldn't possibly teach his own children they were better than others purely because they looked more crab-like rather than spider-like!

He smiled at you, eyeing him with concern. You were the best mother to their kids he could ever wish for.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart." He kissed the tip of your nose, making you giggle.

"Are you worrying about the children again?" You asked gently, knowing they were perfectly alright with Arabella and Miria. "Daddy?"

Oh, you loved watching him getting as red as tomato. What a little minx! You knew perfectly he got aroused when you called him that.

"Let's get out of here." He left a glowing charmed mark on the ground, showing where the lamia laid and surrounding it with a barrier. "I think we've done enough."

"If you refer to patrolling the forest, then yes." You smirked, and he felt warmth spreading in his chest as he remembered how eager you had been when he made love to you in whatever form. "You know, if not those damn creatures, I'd prefer riding on your back naked. It feels so good when I touch your lower body with my bare skin."

"Dear, I will fuck you against the tree right here if you don't stop." He growled, getting frustrated he couldn't touch you properly while you gigled in his long dark hair.

Bucky hurried further into the woods to the territory you two had already checked and cleared from any Hydra's monsters. Oh Lord, he desperately wanted to see you naked with your breasts and hips fully on display in front of him, calling him daddy when he fingered you, listening to your mewls and moans. It didn't help that you were already massaging his lower body, exactly the mound that covered his painfully hard cock.

"It's not even the mating season yet, but you're so eager." You laughed a little, and Bucky bit his lips.

"Look who's talking. I can feel you growing hot down there, little one."

You squeezed your thighs around his torso and started murming something that made him want to throw you to the ground and get on top of you immediately. Slowly stripping him of his leather jacket, you took off your own once your husband stopped, finding the right spot, and then you quickly slip off your pants.

"Come here, naughty girl." Bucky growled, helping you to come down and then lifting you up with his strong hands so you could lean to him. "You're too eager today. What happened?"

"I wanna mate, Gods, I wanna mate with you so bad." Your breath grew hotter as you felt his mound opening and his long, already leaking with precum cock touching your thigh. "Please. Today... isn't my safe day."

"Shit." He moaned, his instincts getting the better of him in an instant when you said you were ovulating. Damn it, he couldn't resist sliding inside your wet pussy, bottoming you out in one thrust. As you let out a hiss of pain and pleasure - he was damn big, and sometimes it wasn't easy to take him all - Bucky claimed your mouth with his, his grip on your body growing stronger. "You want me to knock you up again, honey? You want me to fill you with my seed? Because I fucking will."

You couldn't even answer him when Bucky rutted himself into you, drawing mewls and gasps from you as he fucked your relentlessly against the tree just as he promised, pressing the tip of his cock into your cervix. His mouth was on your neck, leaving little spots on your gentle skin, marking you his, claiming you just like the first time. Huh, you knew you needed to talk to him about having more kids when he wasn't aroused so much as your body was barely prepared for such intense session - he kept thrusting even after you cummed on top of his cock, screaming his name.

"Bucky, p-please, ah-"

"Little minx. You wanna grow heavy with my brood again, and you didn't tell me?" His dangerously low voice made your pussy throb around him, and you tried to find purchase in his shoulders, gripping them tighter. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Ahh, I'm s... s-sorry, daddy. I wanted t-to surprise you... ahh!" He inched you closer, holding your soft body against his, your lovely breasts pressing into Bucky's chest as he bottomed you out again, drawing a fucking scream from you.

Carefully sliding his hands down your body, he took you by the hips, and you crossed your legs behind his lower back, your toes curling. Your back arched of its own accord when you felt the coil starting to build up in your belly again, and you moaned louder, throwing your head back. The next second Bucky attached his lips to your neck, groaning at how tightly your walls were clenching him. The thought of you getting pregnant again made him burn with desire to fill you up to the brim.

"I'm gonna mate you till I'm sure I knocked you up." He whispered hotly in your ear, rolling his hips the way it made you see stars.

You were screaming his name as he picked up the pace, practucally pushing you into the tree, leaving a pair of scratches on your back, but you didn't care. The only one on your mind was the man who kissed and sucked and bit down on your skin, fucking you until you nearly passed out. As you squeezed him tighter, cumming again, you felt him finally stilling and releasing his hot sticky seed into your unprotected womb.

"I love you." He exhaled, his eyelashes trembling as he kissed you, grasping your ass as he filled you to the brim with his cum.

"I love you too." You muttered, touching his face with your lips. Mating with your lovely monster felt so fucking good.

You couldn't possibly imagine the depth of Bucky's gratitude for giving him a chance, for letting him love you, but he couldn't imagine how much you would grow to care about him either. Even after those years you two spent together, sometimes he was afraid you'd still flinch when he came to drop a kiss on your cheek or rub your back. However, the only thing you did was encouraging Bucky to continue, and then things often moved to your bedroom. The only reason why you didn't give him more children was because bearing an arachnid wasn't easy, and Bucky wanted to take care of your health, not destroy your gentle human body with constant pregnancies. But today... today you made him the happiest man in the world again.

Carefully lifting you up from his cock, Bucky took you in his arms like a bride, watching you breathing tiredly. He felt like he could explode from all the love gathered inside him.

"Oh, don't tell me I need to dress now." You pouted, and he chuckled, casting a spell - the very next second your body was fully dressed in your clothes again. Though you could feel his cum dripping out on your panties, it didn't bother you now. "You know, you have to teach me this thing if we will keep patrolling the forest."

Bucky got red when you winked at him and then laughed out loud, starting to walk back to the cave hidden deep into the woods.

THE END

______________

Tags: @finleyjayne @alexakeyloveloki    ​@helenaeisenhower  @villanellevi  @hurricanerin  ​@void-hoechlin  @abyssaint @navegandoaciegas  @chris-evans-indian-fanfic @ladyacrasia  @iheartsebastianstan  @what-is-your-wish  @princessofdarkwinter @mandiiblanche  @live—deliciously @heeeyitskay

[nonbinarychaoticstupid]

c or e (maybe both?) for the ask game

>:) (also he/they/she catra because i'm having too much fun with this hc)

this kinda fits the angst more than the fluff but i hope u like it nonetheless! (also. ending properly? who's that?)

Everything hurts.

Everything hurts, and he can't stop crying -

(Catra knows they're asleep, or dreaming, or dead, because there's no way any of this is real, there's no way Adora is real and Adora came back for her and there's no way Adora could possible be here right now and -)

"I'm going to take you home," she says, distantly, and if she could hear past the humming of the hive mind in her ears she might be able to -

Prime's voice howls in their ears, and it hurts, and Catra grits their teeth and forces out a choked whimper that somehow, somehow ends in "P-promise?" and oh, he's going to pay for fighting back like that, and the thought isn't their own - Adora -

"I promise," Adora says - no, sobs - and he wonders, somewhere in the closed-off portion of his mind Prime seems to have relinquished, if he'd be allowed to reach across the fragile space between them and fall into Adora's arms like he wants to, if the mind pressing hard against his own would allow him that small reprieve.

(They wonder if Adora would hold them back, if she'd let them sink into their arms like they've wanted to for years and never let go. They wonder if she'd - if she'd recoil at their touch - if -)

Something inside her lurches free of Prime's grip, that instinct that keeps her clutching at her arms and trembling and sobbing out here on this lonely platform jutting out into empty space, and Catra - stars, she just wants to be home again - Catra reaches out and chokes out a broken, soft, "Adora-" and -

It happens so quickly they barely have time to register it - pain lances up their body, they cry out, because it's - it's so much worse, it's so much more than when Prime drowned them in the pool, and then the world is white and blank and gone and they're floating in silence, in nothingness, devoid of thought and emotion and everything except vague, passive knowledge of the world trembling around them. And it's quiet, and Catra - and Catra -

When the world comes back to him, it's framed in harsh, blinding black-and-white-and-green light, in tears spilling from the eyes of the blue-eyed girl standing, frozen in terror, at the other end of the universe, in green-edged lightning and in the kind of pain he'd grown used to feeling almost every day of his life.

When the world comes back to Catra, they are screaming.

(And they could fill pages and pages of the notebooks they used to hide under Adora's mattress with every fragment of this pain, with every inch of their body being burned and turned into ash and electrified by the chip in the back of their neck. They could spend hours trying to pin down every heartbeat of it, magnified and so, so much more intense than what they grew up with.

But before Catra can form that thought properly, pushing at the barriers in her mind, before she can do anything except catch a fleeting glimpse of the cry pulling at Adora's lips through white-hot nothing, the brief flashes of the world she has been allowed to see vanish and she topples backward into nothing -

He topples backward into nothing, and he feels what fragile hold on consciousness he hand slip away, and he feels the breath rattle out of his lungs and thinks, desperately, echoing in the vast empty hollow of his mind Prime must have vacated, ADORA - )

-

Catra is dead.

She knows this with unbreakable certainty, knows this the heartbeat she pulls her broken, bleeding body against her and feels her breath stalling and shaking and shattering out of her body. And it tears something deep inside her apart.

She's trembling with the force of it, fumbling for the back of the head of the body in her arms, feeling the new ends of the hair she must have fought so hard to try and keep and the chip embedded in the back of her neck.

Catra is dead, and Adora is clinging to all that's left of her in the bottom of an impossibly vast spaceship, and in all her life she's never felt as alone, as - as desperately empty as she does right now, and -

And the pit of despair and the hole in her heart shatter wide open.

And Adora moulds that rage, that grief, into something - more.

-

It's beyond anything he's ever known. It's colder and brighter and darker and softer than anything he's ever known, and it's coursing through his veins and tugging at the fraying edges of his mind and -

Catra takes her first breath in what could have been forever and knows, instinctively, that she was dead.

She was dead, and the thing pulling at their mind and their soul and their body is what brought them back.

And said thing is holding them right now, cradling their head in her rough, familiar hands and - and crying -

Catra takes another breath, one that turns into something like a cough, and opens his eyes - and - and there she is, glowing and crying quietly and playing gently with the newly-cut ends of his hair , and it's been so long since they've been this close and smiled at each other like this and he opens his mouth and mumbles "H-hey, Adora," and she sobs and pulls them into her arms -

Stars.

They - they didn't think they'd ever be held like this again. They didn't think it was possible for someone to want to hold them like this. But Adora - Adora, who wasn't supposed to come for her, who saved her, who literally just brought her back from death - is pulling Catra against her like she's never held her before and she can't bring herself to do anything but wrap her arms around her and bury her face in her shoulder and let out a small, broken noise that turns into purring.

Purring.

Adora is holding them for the first time in years and crying into Prime's weird plastic-y shirt and Catra is purring.

You came back for me.

-

When Catra wakes up, Adora is in his bed. And his mind, for the first time in what feels like years, is completely and utterly silent. And - and there's a mess of scar tissue where the chip was, and he's warmer than he's been in a long time. (Not hot - warm, warm like falling asleep in a beam of sunlight, warm like being tangled up in Adora's arms again, warm like - warm like being home again.)

He opens an eye. Shuts it again, because Adora is staring directly at them. Mumbles, "You shouldn't have come for me, you know."

(And it's then that they realise that she's practically draped over them, head nestled in the curve of their collarbone, arms looped around their waist like they're 12 again and Adora is the centre of the world and she's holding Catra like she's her moon and -)

"I know."

She opens an eye again. It's dark in here, darker than she expected it to be, and Adora's expression is hopeful and stupid and she glows in the dark like she was when she healed her yesterday and oh-

"... Why did you?"

"Hm?"

Catra breathes out, long and slow, and shuts his eyes again. And just like that, the glow and Adora's weird bright expression and everything else is gone. And he can practically hear her thinking next to him, hand looping up to stroke his hair like they're kids again. "Why did you come back for me?"

"Oh." Adora pauses, swallows. "Well, I guess it's because I still -"

He laughs, feeling hollow. "Still care about me? After I, I don't know, tried to kill you multiple times? Almost destroyed reality?"

"Yes," she says, firmly, and rolls onto her back. Catra would mourn the loss of her warmth if their head wasn't spinning. "I told you. Yesterday. I never hated you. I never stopped caring about you."

She's lying. She's lying. She's-

"I know you think I'm lying," Adora murmurs. Catra tenses. "I know you think you're not worth being saved. I know you think I'd never come back for you, because you don't think you deserve it."

"I don't," he mumbles. "I hurt people. You aren't supposed to want me around. You - you weren't supposed to come back."

"But I did," she says, slowly, and takes his hand.

(Catra tenses again, and it strains muscles he didn't know could hurt like that, and he bites down hard on his lip and tries not to make a noise because - because then Adora would think of him as - as weak -)

"Does it hurt?"

The question - well, it sort of startles them into opening their eyes and glancing in Adora's direction, and then they have to squeeze them shut again, because she's staring at them with such a hopeful, wide-eyed expression that they -

"Huh?"

"Your neck, I mean." She lets go of their hand, hesitantly, and reaches up to the scars crawling up their shoulder blades. And, oddly, Catra doesn't flinch away when she touches them.

(Because - oh - it's been years since she was touched like that and she's almost forgotten what it felt like and -)

"Um. Kinda," she gets out, and Adora nods, like that makes sense. "Everything hurts, to be honest. Just - everything."

A moment passes, and then Adora lets out a small sigh and breathes, "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"I'm sorry you're in pain," she mumbles. "I'm sorry I can't do anything to fix it."

Well, there's no nice way they can respond to that.

Catra shifts onto their side, gritting their teeth as pain bites at the base of their tail. Adora is still watching them, eyes half-closed, lying on her back on the mattress and biting her lip like she's - nervous.

Hm. Shit.

It takes them a moment, but - but they -

"Adora?"

"Yeah?"

She breathes in. Out. "Can you - um -"

"Go?" she fills in gently. "Stay? Do you need me to - to get off the bed or get you some food or water? Do you -"

"Stars, Adora, I was just gonna ask if you could hold me. You know, like you were when we - when we fell asleep? I - I mean, it's okay if you don't want to, it's not like -"

He's cut off by a pair of strong arms wrapping around his waist, a head settling on his shoulder, and Adora's soft laughter against his collarbone.

Oh.

Okay.

A heartbeat, and then she whispers, "Is this okay?"

"Yeah. This is fine."

[escapethewonderland]

It could have been you

Pairing: JakexFem!MC (Nadia)

Word counts: 1.8k

A/N: Hi darlings, I got the itch for a bit of Jake angst over the last few days so here it is this little OS. Kindly inspired by a song that stuck in my head while writing, Muddy Waters by LP. Hope you like it! SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 7 ENDING, BE AWARE!

TW: swearing, angst, mention of blood

Nadia was sitting on the edge of her bed, watching her closet intently like she was trying to find an answer to the incredible mess that her life had become over the last month. The doors were hanging open, patiently waiting for the girl to start gathering the clothes she needed for the trip to Duskwood.

She felt like her head was on the verge of exploding. Rabid thoughts were chasing each others around unbounded, hammering against her temples and begging to set them free.

She squeezed her hands together, quivering nervously while trying to release that ugly tension off her body. Seeing Richy bloody, slowing fading away on that hellish forest’s ground was the last straw for Nadia: someone got severely hurt and, all of a sudden, the game her and Jake were playing got extremely real.

Nadia couldn’t afford anymore to wait on the sidelines, protected by the distance and her hacker because sooner or later, they would come knocking on her doors. Although the strong gut feeling of running far away in the opposite direction, Nadia couldn’t deny the inescapable bond that was calling her to Duskwood. Even more now that both the girl and Jake may had the blood of an innocent guy dripping from their hands.

The young woman closed her eyes against that cruel image, breathing slowly from her nose, flexing her fingers.

Richy was going to make it; he had to.

He might survive. Those were the feeble words of hope that the doctors had said and the whole group hold on to them with ferocity: the idea of losing Richy was unacceptable.

A notification from the phone distracted the young woman, making her wince: she couldn’t recall how long she had been standing still in front of the wardrobe.

  Nadia…I just read your texts. Is it true? Is Richy…?

The girl let an unsteady breath slip out between her lips, fighting back the tears.

Yes Jake, he’s fighting for his life on an operating table.

She got up from her bed, walking aimlessly around the small apartment in an agitated frenzy. Jake’s answer came right away.

I’m so, so sorry. I…I wasn’t expecting that. I…I’m at loss for words.

“No shit” Nadia snorted viciously under her breath, wiping away a traitorous tear that slowly crept down her cheek. Her breath was now ragged, but she still tried to keep her cool and not hyperventilate. Panic wouldn’t get her nowhere, she needed to be sharp right now.

Holding her phone in a tight grip, Nadia walked back to her bedroom; mind settled.

I don’t know what to say too, Jake, but I know what I have to do.

She threw the mobile on her bed with more vehemence than what was necessary. With few, swift strides, she found herself back in her room, standing in front of her closet to retrieve an old backpack from the tallest shelf. She scrutinized the clothes with a clinic eyes, opting for something practical, taking only the bare minimum she needed for a week or so.

Nadia didn’t bother to check her phone when Jake’s first reply came. Nor the next one or the other after that.

She was on autopilot, a ghost wandering around and haunting her own house.

Nadia spared a look at her reflection in the mirror while collecting the stuff she needed from the bathroom: her face was strained with harsh lines, eyes wide with messy makeup and even messier hair.

She brought her things to the other room, dumping them merciless inside the backpack and only then looked at her phone.

There were several messages from Jake but it was the last one that caught the girl’s attention.

Are you packing, Nadia? Please, answer me.

The phone slipped from her fingers after reading that words. A hint of paranoia emerged in her chest and she scanned her bedroom with meticulous care, calming down again only when she had checked twice every possible hiding place. No one seemed to be lurking in her room and the curtains were closed shut, a few sun shines peeking through them. She was still safe, it was still her home, no danger lurking in the shadows.

With trembling hands, Nadia retrieved the phone from the carpet.

She frowned, slightly afraid to look at the camera, before a wave of scolding hot anger filled her bones. Mouth set in a straight, harsh line, she started typing to Jake.

Are you fucking spying on me through my phone, Jake?

No answer. The girl felt like boiling with everything she’d been trying to repress since the first time Thomas texted her.

Are you fucking serious, Jake? Are you fucking with me or have you lost your mind along the way? Do you think that you can just go around spying people through their phone whenever it sooths you, whenever it’s convenient for your agenda?

Jake. I fucking trusted you! YOU…

The girl stopped there, unable to type anymore given the trembling that took control of her hands.

Nadia brought the back of her hand against her lips, suppressing a sob that would inevitably destroy the already fragile dam that was barely holding back all of her destructive emotions.

She fought it with all of her might, eventually falling on her knees because even standing felt crushing in that moment.

Nadia felt like she was going crazy, slowly loosing herself in something that was so much bigger than her.

Her phone started vibrating in her hand, signalling an incoming call from an unknown number.

Nadia stood there for a moment, debating if accepting the call or not. Could it be…?

“Hello?” she answered with a shaky voice.

Nadia heard a sight and a male voice greeted her, no distortion this time.

“Please, don’t go” pleaded who she assumed was Jake on the other side of the line.

Nadia let out a wet sob, almost chocking on the longing and sadness that built up in her chest at hearing Jake’s voice for the first time. His voice sounded so warm and comforting like a soothing balm, but it was all ruined by the ill-timing of the call.

“How much have I longed for this moment… you have no idea, Jake, you have no idea. I can’t believe it, it’s actually you” she mumbled under her breath, almost too quiet to be heard.

Another sight greeted her words, but Jake didn’t say anything.

“I would have loved to hear your voice for the first time under different circumstances” she continued, tears rolling freely down her grieving face.

“But the situation is pretty fucked up, Jake. I can’t afford to wait on the side-lines any longer”

“You can’t go, Nadia, please. You can’t really be thinking of going to Duskwood” replied Jake fast, almost eating up the words like he was in a hurry to get them out, to keep her safely where she was.

“But I am going, Jake. It was all my fault: Jessy’s attack, Cleo’s letters and now Richy… if I didn’t get involved, if I stayed out of it, nothing would have happened to them. It’s only fair I stand by their side to help them, actually help them” Nadia said with deep-rooted sadness in her voice, slowly getting up from the carpet. Her knees felt weak but her mind was strong.

There was a loud thud on the other side of the line, like a fist being slammed against a wooden table.

“No, no, no! Nadia, please! Duskwood is even more dangerous than before right now and you could put yourself into bigger troubles!”

She snorted without humour in her voice, now fully standing, sliding a hand through her hair.

“Well Jake, it’s not like you can stop me, can you? Because you’re not here… You’re not fucking here with me. What would you have me rather do, uh? Don’t you think I’m scared!? I’M TERRIFIED BUT WHY DON’T YOU…”

“IT COULD HAVE BEEN YOU, DAMMIT!” Jake almost screamed into her ear, panting like he had just ran a marathon.

Nadia closed her eyes while more tears carved their path through her reddened cheeks, biting hard on her lower lip. Her heart clenched painfully at his words cause only now she realized how much she’d been craving to feel his barriers coming down.

“It could have been you, bleeding out in that nightmarish forest, for fuck’s sake. And only the thought of you being hurt or worse, of losing you…it’s enough to drive me insane” he confessed softly, his silky voice like sweet honey in the Nadia’s ear, a tempting offer of haven.

“But it wasn’t me” she replied hesitantly, not trusting her voice not to break “it still could have been Lilly. It could have been Hannah”

That was a low blow, Nadia knew that but his sisters were the only family he had left and if he couldn’t be on the front line to save them, she would step up to be in his place and protect them.

“I don’t wanna lose you, not you too” Jake whispered, voice heavy with despair, so close to the mic that for a moment she had the faint illusion of having him right by her side.

“And you won’t, Jake, I promise you. You won’t lose any of us, we will see each other at the end of this. We’ll all be together and make up for all the time we spent apart.”

She almost smiled at that idyllic picture taking shape into her mind.

“But I have to go” Nadia simply stated, softly as to not hurt him, even though she was already doing that.

She closed the call before she lost all of the courage she had mustered up, Jake’s no’s haunting her while she turned off her phone. She exhaled deeply, before hitting her wardrobe’s door with her open palm, muffling a scream against her folded t-shirts.

It took Nadia five whole minutes to regain her composure and fight back fat tears of sorrow, but when she finally looked back up, there were flames in her eyes.

She set her body into motion, retrieving an object from the drawer under her desk: the older phone used to be her main phone, but Nadia was sure she was going to need a backup since everyone in Duskwood already had her info. No one knew her new number though, so she hoped it could turn out to be a secret advantage. Only Lilly was aware of it, she was the one to help her out to settle everything and she was the only soul that knew she was coming to Duskwood and they both preferred that way.

She braced herself, backpack on her shoulder and keys in her hands: even though she was filled with much uncertainty, Nadia knew she was on the right path.

[stanknotstark]

Astral Pt. 13 (Loki x Reader)

I’m introducing ANOTHER character :D Morgan is very interesting and her powers are like Kang’s I’m very curious as to who would win in a fight tbh i wish i could’ve written an action scene because she can mind control and OH the drama that I could have played with! You guys are lucky cuz i had something worse written >:D

You and Loki are eating breakfast together in silence. When you finish your plate Loki tells you to grab a book from his quarters, while he finishes, so he can help you research Asgard. Then meet him in the common area since no one is there right now. 

Loki likes to teach you and watch your curiosity flare as you read up on Asgard, its customs, how healers work, how royalty works, instead of telling you. It’s the least he can do since you’ll never actually see Asgard in person. He’s a fantastic storyteller but you know he has a weakness, that weakness being that when you truly concentrate on something sometimes you stick your tongue out a bit and narrow your eyes. Other times you look at the book with guileless fascination. Plus, Loki knows there’s more satisfaction from learning on your own. He’s always there to answer your questions and debate with you though.

You walk back into the common area after grabbing the book, Loki looks at you, then a cloud of dark green appears between you both. Before you can react accordingly feminine arms are yanking you into the cloud of magic and you’re in someone’s arms definitely not at the tower anymore. You can only imagine what Loki is thinking. The last thing he probably saw was the book fall when you dropped it. Now he’s probably thinking the worst is going to happen, that you’re going to die, and honestly you don’t know what’s going on. For all you know you might actually be about to die. 

You try to wave off the nausea and dizziness following the teleportation you endured and assess your surroundings but someone is roughly pulling you somewhere. Just as you get your wits back there is a tight rope constricting your hands behind your back and around your ankles. You’re shoved into a rocky wall, twisting, back first causing you to let out a breathless grunt and slide into a sitting position on the ground.

Looking up you see a beautiful woman. She stands tall, her chin out in confidence. Her pale, petite face is framed by pitch black hair, the long tendrils held in braids resting on her chest and trailing to her hips they’re so long. She wears a green and black corset that flows into thigh armor that is engraved. No not engraved, made of actual scales, you shiver at the thought of what could have scales that big, nothing from Earth that’s sure. To end her amazing outfit, her green with black lace boots are thigh highs. You can faintly smell leather and something sweet you’ve never smelled before. You’re pretty sure this woman could be a really good dominatrix if she wanted to.

“That was much easier than expected. If the Avengers are Earth’s best defenders I’m disappointed, to say the least.” The woman tells you looking at her nails in boredom. You pick out her British accent.

You realize you’re not in immediate danger and say, “While I don’t mind getting kidnapped by beautiful women I usually like to know their names first, maybe take me on a date before you bring me back to your place.”

The woman chuckles. “My name is Morgan Le Fay of Britain, the world’s strongest sorceress, Morgana. That is until you came along.”

You frown. “That’s a mouthful.” 

Morgana shakes her head with a small smile. “Cute.”

“Look I’m not that powerful, I think you have the wrong person, most of the magic I use I can’t use for long because it gives me migraines.” You say while shifting around to get more comfortable. 

You finally take in your surroundings. All you can assess is that you’re in a cave, no telling how far from New York City, home. You know Loki could track you down if you could astral project but you don’t trust Morgana enough to take your eyes off of her. Maybe Tony is tracking your cell phone which you feel sitting in your back pocket. 

“Such a shame you’ll never discover your true potential. I’m here to kill you, child, but I had to get a taste of what runs through your blood before I do.” Morgana says kneeling in front of you. 

Morgana brings a hand to your head and when she touches you she gasps and closes her eyes. You simply watch from under her hand as she shivers. When she pulls her hand away her eyes are bright with curiosity but far away in thought. 

“Why would your mother want to kill someone so powerful, I would think having you on her side would be more preferable.” Morgana says under her breath. You only hear her because she’s so close to you. 

“My mother sent you?” You say trying to stall now that you know her intentions. 

Morgana hums. 

“I know my mother doesn’t love me but I never thought she’d send a glorified assassin after me. I’m honored, honestly.” You say your fingers playing with the rope around your wrists seeing if you could escape somehow. “How does my mother know you anyways, she doesn’t have any powers why would she know a sorceress?” 

Morgana frowns at you, “I like your humor in the face of death.” She quips with a hint of annoyance at your nonchalance of the situation, “When a celestial tells me to do something I tend to not question it.” You look at Morgana like she’s crazy then you watch as realization dawns on her face. 

“My child...You truly do not know?” 

You stop fiddling with the rope and look at Morgana with a raised eyebrow. “Know what? And I’m not a child.”

“Your true birth mother, celestial Madonna.” Morgana says ignoring your plea to be respected.

At this you freeze and lose all the breath in your lungs. 

Thor was right, you’re adopted.

“It was prophesied that celestial Madonna would give birth to the most powerful being in the universe. Kang wanted to be father to such child and hunted her down. He impregnated her, held her captive until she birthed you. She fled when she had the chance but couldn’t take you with her.” Morgana explains while standing and pacing the cave’s floor. “Kang, who was being chased by the Avengers, planted you in an alternate universe and time. No one has known where you were until a few years ago when you used magic for the first time.” Morgana finishes, stopping and looking down at you.

She gives you a look of pity as you process everything. It all made sense now. Kang wants you to be his weapon of destruction. Why your parents have always hated you and treated you like shit. 

“My mother wants me dead and sent you to do her dirty work...Meaning she’s alive somewhere?” You ask trying to not panic with the influx of information.

“She’s here on Earth until she knows you’re dead. Said you’re more of a liability than anything. I’m being paid handsomely for your head.” Morgana says. She then brings a hand up and flicks it. Dark green magic flows and through the smokey magic you see a quin jet then see flashes of Loki, Steve, Natasha, Tony, and Thor talking, concerned and frightened looks on their faces but hear nothing. 

“Your friends are near.” Is all Morgana says like it’s an afterthought. She makes the magic disappear and looks at you with determination. “I have a proposition for you, child.”

You’re not really in the position to argue so you nod at her.

“Promise me you’ll hunt down Kang and right before you deliver the last strike on his miserable life you call on me and let me do it. While I love your mother dearly I have a penchant for revenge.”

“Fine.” You say. At this Morgana looks at you, sizing you up, but decides you’re harmless enough and makes the rope around your wrists and ankles disappear. When you stand she magics a gold ring with a square emerald on it and gives it to you. 

“When the time comes throw this on the ground and stomp on it with your foot then stand back, I shall appear where the ring is.”

You nod and slip the ring onto your right ring finger finding that it fits perfectly. 

“Do not use it for anything else, it is a one time use. If you use it for something trivial I will kill you without hesitation, our deal will be void.” Morgana says, she frowns and without asking places a hand on your head again. This time you feel her magic search your mind and gasp when she does something that makes you feel energetic and calm.

When Morgana pulls her hand away she explains, “Your powers were behind a barrier, I simply destroyed it. You should be able to wield magic without headaches now but you’re going to use your full power unless you learn how to tame it. Do not kill yourself or I’ll bring you back to life just to kill you again.”

You look at Morgana in disbelief and annoyance because she keeps threatening your life.

 She gives you a sympathetic look. “I’m truly sorry such a fate has fallen on you, child.” And then she’s gone and you’re left in a dark cave. 

You hadn’t even realized Morgana had used magic to light up the space you both inhabited until you’re left standing in pitch black. Without hesitation you light up both fists with fire and start to make your way out of the cave. You plan to contact Loki when you truly know where you are. However, when you reach the entrance you see the quin jet landing in an open field not that far from the cave’s entrance on the side of a mountain. The first person out of the ship is Loki and he is sprinting towards you, Thor not far behind with Steve and Nat pulling the flank. 

When Loki reaches you you open your mouth to tell him you’re ok but he pulls you into his chest hard and squeezes you till you’re breathless. Then he holds you at arms length and looks over your face first, then body.

“Are you hurt, did she use any magic on you?” He asks urgently.

“I’m fine, Loki, we just talked, she’s not a danger to us.” You say with a small smile that you’re sure doesn’t reach your eyes because Loki doesn’t lose the concerned look on his face. He doesn’t push it either though. Thor stays suspiciously silent when he reaches you both. He touches you as if to check that you’re real but drops his hand and claps Loki on the back more for calming him instead of camaraderie.

You look at Steve and Nat with a small wave and embarrassed grimace when Loki, Thor, and you reach them as you all walk towards the quin jet. After you’ve told them multiple times that you’re fine they all relax a bit but not by much. You mostly feel embarrassed you were taken so easily. You didn’t even put up a fight.

You’re sitting in the quin jet quiet other than to answer their questions without going into details because you’re still trying to unravel what you’ve been told. 

“Why did she take you?” Steve asks, standing in front of you, arms crossed, with Nat next to him while Loki sits at your side, holding your hand. You know he has questions because his fingers keep playing with the new ring on your hand and he gives you looks you can’t decipher. Thor is speaking with Tony in the cockpit so you’re free of their questions until later thankfully.

“She wants me to find Kang so she may kill him.” You say.

Thankfully Loki and Thor had told the group of superheroes who Kang was after the incident with the Growing Man. They told them what they knew of the man which honestly wasn’t much. 

At your words you feel Loki stop playing with the ring. He understands its purpose now. He must have used his magic to look over the ring and see if it was a danger to anyone but especially you, sensing it had magic dwelling in it.

“That doesn’t explain why she took you specifically. She could have told all of us. She didn’t have to kidnap you.” Natasha says knowing you enough to know you’re hiding valuable information. 

You frown and look at your feet. “I-”

You go quiet and everyone stays quiet too, you listen to the engine of the quin jet and Thor and Tony bickering in the background. You think about how Loki’s hand fits perfectly in yours and is soft but has rough patches of callouses from his use of daggers. You take a deep breath in through your nose, closing your eyes, and smell leather, sweat, and that smell the quin jet emits like a new car. 

When you open your eyes you look up at Steve and Natasha and ask, “How did you find me?” 

Natasha frowns at your very obvious deflection. Steve answers. “Tony tracked your cell phone but it’s thanks to Loki we found you so fast. He used his magic to track your magic or something.” Steve says uncrossing his arms and shrugging while glancing at Loki.

You look at Loki who raises a brow at you. “Our bond.” Is all he says at your inquisitive look. You nod in understanding. 

“Where are we, exactly?” You ask them.

“The border of New York and Pennsylvania.” Steve says. That explains why they were able to reach you so quick. If Morgana teleported you so close that means your stalling is the only reason you’re alive. She planned to make you a quick death.

When Nat opens her mouth to ask you another question you shake your head at her. “I’m exhausted can I take a nap before I tell you everything?” You ask, realizing you’ve got at least 45 minutes of free time since the jet isn’t going full speed.

Nat looks a little apologetic and Steve nods and says, “We’re happy you’re ok.” and then they both make their way to the opposite side of the quin jet. 

You and Loki settle into the quin jet’s seats as comfortably as you can. He stays suspiciously quiet about everything but brings an arm up and around your shoulders and lets you lay your head on his shoulder where it meets his neck. When you’re settled he keeps holding your hand but his free hand around your shoulder comes up to stroke your hair. It doesn’t take long to fall asleep. 

Pt. 12.1/Pt. 13/?

Tage list: @justfangirlthingies​ @emelieh99​ @high-functioning-lokipath​ @loveableasshole​ 

[notyetbulletproof]

I do think there is a greater conversation to be had in regards to Kaz about forgiveness (of himself) and allowing himself to get the softer, lovelier, kinder things in life. I do think guilt plagues his life and has been a fixture since he survived and was “reborn” (let’s face it a large part of him had to die for him to come back) in that saintsforsaken Harbour. I think he never really confronted his grief — 1) he had no time, 2) was completely abandoned and left to die by a system where the only value one had was monetary and one’s ability to make more and 3) how could he?

Grief masquerades as many things before we admit to ourselves what it is. Anger. Vengeance. Fear. Those 3 things? They’re often way more motivating. They add purpose and give us something to work towards.

He had to build up his life brick by brick on the promise to himself and Jordie that he would destroy those who destroyed him and his. No distractions from the goal. That he doesn’t notice when love slips through the cracks - Inej, Jesper, Nina, Wylan, Matthias. He doesn’t realise until he lets himself realise. Kaz is honourable. The deal is the deal. He protects his own. Yes. But it’s the fact that these people become incredibly important to him so much so that he names his victories (emerald palace becoming silver six) after them. A monument to who they were and who they’ll always be—- his crows.

"Crows remember human faces. They remember the people who feed them, who are kind to them. And the people who wrong them too. They don't forget. They tell each other who to look after and who to watch out for." — CK

Then, we have Inej. The girl he loves. The one person that is able to slip under his amour. More importantly, the one person he’s willing to try to disarm for. The one person the softer emotions become more obvious around. He wants her. He needs her. She’s essential to him. The one person he admits he’d drop every plan for revenge (legit his purpose for YEARS) he ever had if it meant she was safe. Then it’s the conversation of —- Can Kaz let himself be loved? Can he let himself find joy amidst the grief? Will he allow himself solace and reprieve? Will he allow himself to have what he desires or will his past keep dragging him back?

I keep thinking about these quotes:

“ We can endure all kinds of pain. It’s shame that eats men whole.”- CK

“And that’s what destroyed you in the end, the longing for something you could never have” — SOC

"I've taken knives, bullets, and too many punches to count, all for a little piece of this town. This is the city I bled for. And if Ketterdam has taught me anything, it's that you can always bleed a little more." — CK

"Suffering is like anything else. Live with it long enough, you learn to like the taste."— CK

Don’t get me wrong— I am very clear that Kaz’s touch aversion and phobias exist because of the terrible traumatic event he experienced at 9 (wtf!) years old. I am just saying that I do think it’s the psychological torture and barriers he’s put up that plays a part too. When he talks about psychologically torturing Pekka being a way better outcome —- the boy would know. How long has he done that to himself?? When Kaz is in a fight, a violent bloody, lots of people touching and kicking and just ALOT—- violence seems to help (he’s said as much). It gives him something to focus on and the pain dulls the fact that people are touching him. Being hurt, having touch be followed by pain and grief is something he is accustomed to. A learned coping strategy. Not necessarily effective but hey— it’s worked.

And then Inej. Someone, I think we can all agree kaz is so much softer for. His tell. His one weakness. And he tries to reconcile that with his harder coping strategies by rejecting any reality where it could happen for them but they keep coming back to each other. He can’t maintain the ruse with her. He can’t be Dirtyhands all the time around her. She deserves more than that.

Then it’s their desire for intimacy. For physical touch. He wants to be physically intimate with Inej. Maybe not all the way right away, let’s be fair to them both, that’s not happening yet. But he wants to touch her (if she wants that and she does). He wants to hold her and know she’s alive and present and here with him. We know that physical contact triggers the trauma response. Yep. However his want to best it to be better than this “weakness” (it’s not weakness sweets but okay) motivates him to keep trying. To be what they both want. And while Inej might not know everything about his pain, she has her own issues with touch and when he says that if she can be brave to speak those words aloud, he can be brave and move past the fear—- it’s monumental. It’s acknowledging that it’s difficult for them both but they want this and they’ll try try try.

Let’s also think about when he thinks about Inej. Beyond all that. When he talks about himself being broken and “bad” but knowing he could pull himself into a semblance of a man for her. Feeling broken and less than and then by CK knowing that he could do right by her and showing more than telling just how much he loves her.

And most of all (because this was the point I am thinking about)—- starting to really consider forgiveness. For Jordie. For himself. Starting to really review what it is he’s truly broken about. What ending Pekka will not solve. It will give him a reprieve but he needs to make the effort to break down his walls. Him holding Inej’s hand signifying a promise to her, to himself, to them, to a new future.

A promise to try. To break down the amour and to forgive himself for not “knowing better, for being a child and trusting in the kindness of people (that line always fucked me up). To break down the barriers that keep him from happiness. That keep him from letting himself be loved. From keeping everyone at a distance because even when you do that? You still lose people and in the words of other characters in other books in the universe — “you’ll mourn (us) them anyway”. Or in Kaz’s own words “And if Ketterdam has taught me anything, it's that you can always bleed a little more." — CK

All this to say that I feel that as much as Kaz Brekker’s amour exists as a response to the horrors of his past. Exists as a shield to the world. Exists to protect him and his from the horrors that currently persist. I do think it also exists to prevent him from dealing with his grief. From forgiving himself and Jordie. For forgiving himself because in doing so he would have to confront certain things about his experiences that he couldn’t focus on before.

If he’s all about destruction then he doesn’t have to feel the other things that come with all he has experienced. (Honestly him thinking about Jordie and what he says to him about Jordie’s decisions leading up to their terrible loss— I was a mess).

“Was there never another dream?”—- CK.

Is the amour protection from that? What happens when vengeance is achieved?

Build something. Watch it burn?

Make a promise to support a new purpose?

Is forgiveness a huge part of taking off his amour? Yes. I believe so. And it starts with him (forgiving himself).

You were both kids. You were all kids.

[sweetness47]

Fixing His Regret

Pairing Dean x Reader

Word Count: 1731

Warnings: not many, sex scene, mentions of losing a loved one, being widowed while pregnant, pining, I think there might be one or two swear words? Rated 18+ just in case

This is for @idreamofplaid and her They Belong To Us Now challenge

Prompt #30: “Stay here tonight.” (paired with) Time travel/fix it

Also for SPN Fluff Bingo 2021 square: Childhood sweethearts

And for SPN Kink Bingo 2021 square: Saran Wrap

📷

Dean smiled down from heaven as he watched Sam have a family and enjoy life. It was what he always wanted for his brother. Truth be told, it was what he’d always wished for himself, but the one person he’d wanted for that role was the one person he’d run from long ago.

YN had been one of his friends growing up. Even with all the shit that had stormed through his life, she was the one thing that always kept him going. When his dad would drag them all over, he always wrote to her, and she would write back. When they were close enough to visit in person, she would often keep him company while he was watching Sam.

He'd run because she’d confessed to having feelings for him one night. They were 16. Instead of coming clean and confessing he was in love with her, he’d turned and run away. He stopped communicating with her. Stopped writing to her. All because he was afraid of his feelings. He was afraid that he would make her a widow from hunting. That was no life for someone as amazing as YN. She deserved better. She deserved stability. Marriage to a hunter wouldn’t give her that. She was better off without him. Or at least that’s what he told himself.

But he always thought about her. About the hurt look on her face when he’d walked away from her confession. He could clearly remember the tears pooling in her eyes, and for one second his resolve nearly crumbled. But he maintained that he was doing the right thing, and shut the door on that part of his life forever.

That time he’d tried playing house with Lisa, when Sam had died, it was ok. He filled the emptiness that Sam’s death had left in his chest, but often he wished he’d been able to find YN, beg for her forgiveness, praying that she wasn’t married to someone else.

But he never pursued her. He’d hurt her. He hated himself for destroying her heart like that.

“What are you thinking about Dean?”

Jack’s voice startled Dean. He jumped, then relaxed when he saw Jack approach. “A girl I once knew. She was amazing. Smart, funny, talented, and one of the few friends I had growing up.”

Jack was intrigued. “What happened to her?”

Dean hung his head in shame. “I walked away from her confession of love. I didn’t want her wrapped up in the life of a hunter.”

“Did you tell her that? Did you even ask her if that was a deal breaker? Or did you just assume she was better off.”

Jack’s words stopped Dean in his thoughts. He really hadn’t asked YN how she felt. She knew what his dad did, she’d always known since the first day. But she was too good for this life. She deserved better, didn’t she? He’d done the right thing when he’d walked away, right?

Jack shook his head. “You didn’t ask her. Do you want that chance back? I can give you a second chance Dean. If you want it.”

Dean’s jaw dropped at Jack’s offer. “Seriously?”

Jack nodded.

Dean thought about it. How many times had he wished for a second chance? How many times had he wished he could go back and change that moment? Too many to count, that’s for certain.

“Do it.” Dean turned to Jack, who nodded again, and snapped his fingers.

**

Dean blinked, and as his eyesight adjusted, he found himself at a local diner he frequented a lot as a teenager, especially with YN, who happened to be sitting across from him. He remembered this day. It was the day before her confession to him.

He promised himself that this time, no matter what, he was not walking away. He was determined to stay, to keep her close, to cherish every moment he had with YN. She had been his world, and he would be an idiot to let her go a second time.

So the next evening, when she confessed she had feelings for him, he took her in his arms and admitted, “I love you too YN. A lot more than I ever thought possible.”

That was the moment they shared their first kiss. They became near inseparable after that night. When Dean dropped out of high school to keep his focus on Sam, he made sure to keep YN a part of their lives. She asked him to prom, stating there was no one else she’d rather spend the night with, and he happily said yes.

The first time they spent the night together, it was new for both of them, both physically, and mentally. Their relationship hit new heights. Dean never pushed YN, always the perfect gentleman. It was she who made the suggestion for him to stay.

The night of prom, after the dancing and celebrating were done, Dean had taken her home, like he always did after a date. She invited him in, and he accepted. Her dad was out for the weekend, having accompanied Dean’s dad on a hunt, so it was just the two of them. They cuddled and kissed, till the wee hours of the morning.

When Dean suggested he call it a night, and stood to leave, she caught his arm. “Dean? Don’t go. Stay here tonight. With me.”

Dean swallowed hard. “You sure?” he rasped.

YN nodded. “Definitely.”

Not another word was spoken as she took his hand and lead him to her bedroom. The frilly pink décor hardly occupied his thoughts. Instead, he moved to undress her, his hands shaking, mouth suddenly dry. YN was mirroring his movements, her own nerves showing as she fumbled with his clothes. When they finally free of the offending garments, he let out a low whistle.

“Beautiful.” He whispered.

YN blushed. “Back at ya.” She countered.

Dean leaned down to kiss her then, the passion burning through them as they slowly began to explore each other. Dean’s hand travelled to the sweet junction between her legs, and growled at the wetness he found. YN got a similar reaction when her hand brushed up against his rock solid erection.

Tumbling on to the bed, Dean began stroking YN’s core. She bucked and moaned as his fingers worked her sensitive nub, then slipped inside her tight channel. Her cries echoed off the walls as her walls clamped down on his fingers, her juices spilling free, coating the bed and his hand.

He moved over her. That’s when they both wondered the same thing. Protection.

“Do you have a condom?” she asked.

Dean shook his head. Shit!

YN’s face lit up suddenly. “Wait here. I have an idea.”

She raced out of the room, only to return moments later with a roll of Saran Wrap from the kitchen. Dean chuckled. “Nice.”

She tore off a piece and brazenly took initiative, wrapping his thick cock in the plastic. Then she was back on the bed, and Dean brought her legs up to wrap around his waist. She felt the blunt head as it pushed and stretched at her slick channel, past the virgin barrier, filling her. He kissed away her tears that silently fell, then he stilled, letting her get used to the feeling of him being inside.

When he moved again, she gasped as she came hard, the sensations overwhelming her. Dean thrust in and out, consuming and owning every part of her, body and soul, vowing that from this moment on, she was his, and only his.

The night and most of the next morning, Dean and YN explored their newfound status, making good use of the plastic wrap. They both giggled at the half gone roll as they finally placed it back into the kitchen pantry.

The following week, they spent near every moment together they could find, mostly because they couldn’t get enough of each other. For a graduation present, Dean managed to acquire the most stunning engagement ring, and presented it to her during the grad dinner. People cheered and clapped for the couple, but most importantly, YN’s father and Dean’s dad approved.

They married the following year. YN hunted with the boys, lived with them (obviously), sharing in their triumphs and their sorrows.

Their third year of marriage, YN presented Dean with a gift, their first child, a revelation she’d made known on Father’s day. It was the only child they chose to bring into the world before it was righted again by the brothers, and Jack.

Shortly after that day, YN found herself with child again. Her son was 12 now, and she was thrilled with the idea of surprising him again.

But that day never came.

YN was found herself widowed, and pregnant, after losing the love of her life in what should have been an easy outing for the boys. Sam and YN hugged and cried, as did John, Dean’s son, and made sure to give him a proper funeral fitting for a hunter.

Sam filled in as a male role model for John, while also finding love for himself. YN’s children, and Sam’s, were good friends as well as cousins.

Sam outlived YN by two years. He was there to keep her company when her son and daughter couldn’t. But the entire family were present when YN took her final breath. Both her son and daughter told her it was ok, that she could go and finally be with Dean.

When Dean saw his YN standing on the bridge, he ran to her and picked her up into his arms, swinging her around and showering her with kisses and tears. He praised her over and over about how well she’d done raising John and Mary, but more important, he let her know how happy he was to have her to hold again.

When Dean saw Jack standing there, looking at the two embracing, Dean smiled and hugged Jack, thanking him for giving him his heart back.

Jack just smiled and faded away, leaving the lovebirds to do some serious catching up.

@idreamofplaid @akshi8278 @drkcnry67 @lyarr24