#hopefully ive covered it all here

[profounddefendorcrusade-blog]

In Defense Of Ceroba

Even though I'm still probably the biggest Starlo apologist you've seen, I wanna talk about Ceroba today. Particularly, my initial and current thoughts on her (but also why she works as a deeply flawed and tragic character).

Anyway, here we go.

Ceroba wasn't a character I liked at first. It wasn't dislike or hatred I felt for her, but rather... not much, if anything. She simply didn't catch my attention like Starlo did, with his larger-than-life personality. Ceroba wasn't like that. She wasn't in the spotlight, she seemed calm and level-headed, sarcastic and easily annoyed with the Five's nonsense, but also kinda just.... there, in contrast to the more 'cartoonish' Starlo.

you can clearly see who the goofy one is

Heck, I was so focused on NOT wanting to get to know and understand Ceroba that I payed little to no attention to her, even in the Steamworks, which was her section as well as Axis'. I completely forgot about the talk option too, so I missed on a lot during my first playthrough. I didn't even laugh at her sarcastic comebacks (that I find funny now, as you can see in my post titled 'Ceroba's sarcasm is growing on me').

And when I found out Ceroba injected Kanako... let's just say she became my least favorite character. I didn't understand why she had done it. It seemed like a poor writing choice not to have Kanako get her paws on the serum and inject herself. Ceroba actively going against her husband's last wish and being the cause of her kid falling down left a bad taste in my mouth.

Only later did I finally put the pieces together.

Ceroba was depressed. Like, really REALLY depressed. So depressed, in fact, that she became blunt with her choice of words when it came to the Starlo situation and unaware of his troubles/the fact he was trying to help her out of the rut. Ceroba was clearly way harsher towards him than she used to be before all the tragedy struck (but said she was sorry)

Starlo describes her as compassionate and hard-working (and they've been friends for a long time, so he must know). Or at least, that was who she was before all the sadness turned her into a shell of her former self.

Now, Chujin... oh, Chujin.

Chujin meant a lot to Ceroba and that is very clear. From her blindly following his legacy even after his death, to accepting to kill Clover (someone she had grown to respect) with tears in her eyes.

If you ask me, it wasn't Ceroba's cold, sarcastic, gloomy heart that destroyed her. Quite the opposite. It was love. More specifically, her love for Chujin.

I would, without an ounce of doubt, call this fox romantic and emotional. Someone who loves hard and deep. Someone who trusted him, her love, so blindly that she never suspected Chujin was up to anything suspicious. And when he was stripped away from her, it hurt so much. She even blamed herself for not noticing. It's sad.

So... why inject Kanako, something Chujin didn't want her to do? Simple. Because of her major character flaw: stubbornness.

See, Ceroba had refused at first. But the line that got her to change her mind was this:

Ceroba, still in emotional distress and not thinking clearly (much like Starlo), trusted her heart and not her head. And her heart was telling her that Chujin, wherever his soul was, would be proud of her for fulfilling his dream. Making his legacy come true. Saving monsterkind was a bonus, but I believe the main, true motivation here was honoring Chujin and what he wanted to accomplish for monsterkind. And so, instead of focusing on remaining a good parent to her only child, Ceroba chose her husband. She chose something greater that he believed in.

Ceroba loves Kanako, don't get me wrong. She remembers how Kanako and Starlo would watch westerns together, how Kanako would play with brick toys when she was younger, she says how her love for her could be enough to shatter the barrier. She'd tuck her in every night. She promised she'd be safe during the extraction. The two hugged tight and said 'I love you.' All signs point towards Kanako receiving a lot of love from her mother. She even made a drawing of the three of them, and this picture on the right says it all:

Chujin, too, loved his daughter, and I believe this love for her was more prominent before the attack (he even gave her the chance to play video games in her room, how cool is that?). He, too, like Ceroba, prioritzed the wrong things. Instead of making sure Kanako was alright, he made Axis chase after the human and didn't stay to comfort her. He was so focused on the prejudice towards humans (he believed Integrity would have 'continued the crusade' and it hadn't just been fear or self-defense that made them attack) that he forgot that the safety of his child and helping Dalv was far more important.

But Chujin... Ceroba can't even look at her own daughter without being reminded of him:

Ceroba talks about Chujin a lot.

Even though Ceroba messed up badly by injecting Kanako, not paying more attention to what Chujin had been doing, manipulating Clover and the Feisty Five, wanting to kill Clover so she'd save Kanako and monsterkind (notice how she is so blinded that, even as she talks about Kanako, it seems like she sees her as a tool for finishing what Chujin wanted, ACCORDING TO CEROBA. In reality, the man just wanted Kanako to be happy and for her to stay out of all this),

and almost killing Starlo and Martlet, she acknowledged her situation and later admitted that she was wrong. The reason Clover hugged her and forgave her easily was because Clover is like that. Completely altruistic. Starlo and Martlet are sweethearts, too. All three have good hearts and lots of empathy and understanding. And, me, personally? Instead of it putting me off...

...I find it admirable.

[jeonginsleftcheek]

Dolly IV

~ part 4 of the Dolly series

pairing: lee know x afab!reader

genre: smut, fluff, horror/sci-fi

synopsis: the human body is the most fascinating thing and you know all about the intricate anatomy of it. ever so curious you purchase a human-looking doll and your life changes forever.

wc: 7.9k

warnings: death & dead bodies, reader is a mortician, mentions of needles and scalpels, sorry if there are any mistakes

nsfw warnings: multiple sex scenes, unprotected sex, blood play, knife play, creampies, spanking, oral (m)

~ divider by @bunnysrph

It's eerily quiet around you but that doesn't bother you. Not tonight, not ever. Sometimes the silence is comforting and helps you concentrate on the intricate work you do.

You've always been fascinated with death, ever since you were a child. You weren't scared of it, you welcomed it with your arms wide open and it was your father who exposed you to it since you were young.

It wasn't really on purpose, but having a funeral home inside your house and a curious child was not a good combination.

Your father was a good and warm man, offering a friendly tap on the shoulder and a few consoling words to grieving family members, the ones who sat in his office discussing details about funerals, their noses runny and eyes red from crying.

Not all of them were like that; some just sat there with a numb look on their face, a kind of silent sorrow etched inside their features while there were those that seemed completely emotionless.

You'd always lean behind the wall and listen to them discuss until your father would notice you and send you back to your room. The only room in the house that looked somewhat... alive.

Your father was pretty fascinated with death and any art that surrounded it, prints of Francisco Goya's black paintings adorned the walls in your house; Saturn Devouring his Son, Witches' Sabbath, Two Old Men, Judith and Holofernes, Two Old Ones Eating Soup, Atropos...

They captivated you in a way you couldn't put into words and sometimes they gave you torturous nightmares, but you weren't scared.

You welcomed the darkness into your heart completely; in fact you thrived off of it.

It was one quiet and calm evening when you tiptoed down to your basement. The moonlight cast a glow through the windows as your shadow passed by the paintings staring at you with their freakish eyes.

The door was ajar and you pushed it, the creaking sound cutting the silence of the dark night as your heart started beating in your ears.

There they were on the table. A person who had succumbed to Death itself.

Silently, you treaded towards the sheet-covered body but before your little hand could reach it, your father grabbed your wrist gently, scaring you out of your wits.

"What are you doing here, y/n? You know you shouldn't be here." he said, taking you away from your curiosities.

"I- I just wanted to see."

"I know, sweetheart but it's not the time yet. One day, hopefully, you will take over this business just like I took over from your grandfather. Now, go back to sleep."

"Okay." you nodded, albeit feeling a bit sullen that you didn't get to see the person under the sheet.

It's been years since that night, and now you were the one who offered consoling words and friendly pats on the shoulders of grieving family members.

Your father had succumbed to his illness, leaving you alone in this world, alone with all the darkness and death. Of course, you missed him dearly but he suffered so much in his last years that you were somewhat thankful to Death for taking him.

Wherever he was, you knew he was at peace and watching over you.

Taking over his business was the natural step for you, death was just a part of life, and preparing someone's loved one for their funeral felt honorable and you viewed the entire process as a kind of art. When you were old enough, your father started teaching you bits and pieces about preparation and the embalming process, and of course it was only natural for you to develop even more interest for it and get the needed education.

You worked as his assistant at first and when he got sick you became the caretaker and the mortician.

Of course, you couldn't be the one to prepare your father for his burial, it was too much as you watched him disappear more and more every day while he was sick and you wanted your last memory of him to be as peaceful as it can be.

It's been a few years since then, and you were now one of the most respected morticians in your small town. You kept to yourself mostly, only having one close friend since you were kids, Emily.

But you weren't lonely, you focused on your work and your hobbies, like reading, painting and writing poetry, all in the company of your fur baby, your cat named Shadow. You had rescued the elegant black cat off the street when she was just a small lost kitty and ever since then you became inseparable.

Though, even you weren't immune to the troubles of dating. Most of your partners were a bit put off by your work, to say the least, especially if they'd come around to your house which you had repainted black, the decoration was halloween all year around coupled with the creepy paintings on your walls and the fact that there are dead bodies in your basement wasn't really an aphrodisiac.

It was frustrating because you wished you could share your life with someone who'd be genuinely into the things that interest you.

That's why when you found yourself mindlessly scrolling through social media, an ad caught your eye.

Sex dolls.

You chuckled to yourself as you got more comfy under your blanket, Shadow cracking one eye open to look at you from where she was curled up.

You clicked on it.

One doll in particular pulled you in.

Minho, the dark dolly.

He was beautiful, his hair black and shaggy, falling over his eyes, his features were sharp and perfect, somewhat feline-like and his lips seemed sweet and plump.

You liked the outfit they chose for him, all black like you dressed 99% of the time completed with a choker around his neck.

He was perfect.

You scrolled around looking at the other dolls, they all seemed intriguing but Minho was the one you wanted the most.

Besides, some of them already sold so you decided not to wait and jumped on it, ordering yourself the dark dolly. And it didn't take long for him to be delivered to your house, in a big black box reminiscent of a casket. Shadow inspected the box immediately, sniffing and rubbing against it, she seemed to approve of it.

You opened it up eagerly, finally taking a look at your beautiful Minho and he was even more perfect in real life than all the pictures they had posted.

There was a letter inside the box and you opened it up.

Hello,

my name is Minho and I am your dark dolly.

I love cats, horror movies, yummy food and staying inside.

Please treat me with kindness, even though I like scary things, I have a soft soul so never forget to pat my head.

Hope you'll love me as much as I love you.

"I'm glad you love cats, otherwise I'd have to send you back." you joked, as Shadow put her paws on the box, sniffing around before meowing at you.

"You approve, I suppose?" you asked and your cat meowed once again so you were satisfied.

"I guess you do." you ripped off the rest of the bubble wrap, scaring your cat with your movements as she scurried away to her place on the sofa.

Your doll was dressed in a black button up shirt that was almost see-through, coupled with black leather pants and some fine shoes. He looked so alive, it would've been eerie if you weren't already used to looking at people lying down lifelessly before you.

You noticed a little note sticking out of his pocket so you pulled it out and opened it.

My kitten!

I got ready for our rendezvous.

I hope you like the outfit I chose and I hope you'll enjoy our first night together.

"Kitten, huh? Interesting." you smirked as you grabbed the manual, ready to read it from top to bottom but your curiosity got the better of you so you reached your hand to touch Minho.

"Oh." that definitely felt like human skin.

Something was wrong here and you felt it from the moment you laid eyes on his still body. But of course, you weren't afraid, in fact you were determined to find out the truth.

You read the entire manual carefully, going over it a few times, specifically the part where it said the doll can bruise.

How can the doll bruise if there's no blood inside its body?

"Hm." you threw the manual aside and finally lifted the doll out of its little casket, setting it down on the couch in the sitting position.

It took some time to adjust him but Shadow came to sniff Minho and rub against him, seemingly she liked him very much and you trusted your cat's intuition.

"Give me a moment." you said to the doll before running to get some stuff you needed from the basement.

"I'm sorry for this." you grimaced as you sat down next to Minho.

Just a little prick on the skin is what you needed so you grabbed his hand and brought it closer to you as you held the little needle in your other hand. Quickly, you pricked him and waited for a moment.

Nothing was happening so you sighed putting the needle on a tray you brought. You were just about to get up when you noticed it; a tiny droplet of blood oozing out of your doll's finger. With a gasp you stared at the red liquid.

Your mind was reeling and before you could stop yourself, you brought his finger to your lips, licking at the droplet, the metallic taste of blood was unmistakable. Your doll had real blood inside its body. Something about that frightened you, but that fear ignited a flame within you and you wrapped your lips around his finger, lightly sucking on it, the blood coming out slowly as you lapped at it.

"Oh. Looks like I'm not the only one enjoying this." Minho's eyes were shining and his pants were filling up, the button almost popping off.

He was big and usually you weren't this impatient but it's been some time. Your hand explored his muscular thigh, running up to cup his erection and you swore you could feel him twitch in your hand.

You scooted closer to him, hand tangling in his hair and it was surprisingly soft and it smelled of shampoo like he had just washed it. You leaned in to take a whiff before pressing kisses there all the way down to his cheeks. His soft skin under your lips felt heavenly and you were already getting addicted to him.

You pressed your lips into his softly, then pressed them again a bit harder as your hands roamed on his chest. He was muscle everywhere and you were fluttering on the inside, your arousal increasing the more you touched him.

A loud pop scared you as you jolted looking down to find the source. A small laugh escaped your lips when you realized that the button on his pants had actually popped off.

"Fine, you're eager." you chuckled, sliding his pants down, your eyes on his prominent bulge instantly. Your nimble fingers unbuttoned his shirt, revealing his broad shoulders and strong biceps that were visible in the tanktop he wore.

"Wait. I should undress too." you said and Shadow perked up from her spot before standing up and rushing out of the living room like she had understood what was about to happen.

You took your robe off, letting it fall on the floor, you were left only in the silky black nightgown so slowly you slid that off too, the material pooling around your feet.

Minho seemed to have some kind of reaction, at least his neck flushed a little and you were wondering how it does that. How is any of this real?

That didn't matter after you stripped him completely, your eyes admiring the work of art before you. Hands touching and lips exploring, you didn't care about how freaky all this was.

Somewhere along the way you lost your panties, so you straddled Minho's lap, your hands grabbing his face. He was absolutely stunning and your pussy clenched at the look in his eyes. It seemed like there was a fire inside them, a passion burning wild.

Your hand wrapped around his cock, big and heavy in your hand, making you whimper at the thought of it being inside you. You ran the throbbing tip against your wet folds before slowly sinking down on him.

The stretch was delicious as you took him in, wrapping your arms around his shoulders for support, your hands splayed on his muscular back. When you adjusted, you slowly started to move up and down on his length, the squelching sounds filling up the room as you dripped on him.

It seemed as if Minho was looking at you and you sped up, bouncing on him faster, your moans getting louder as you neared your high.

Your nails dug into his flesh as you exploded around him, your hand running down to cup his ass which made him cum too, the warm liquid filling you up and making your eyes roll back.

"Wow." you gasped. Only when you lifted up and circled the couch, you saw that his back had angry red scratch marks.

"Shit, I'm sorry." you leaned over to look at Minho's face.

He seemed to be smirking just a tiny bit?

"I hope it doesn't hurt." you said, not forgetting to pat and caress your dolly's head. You pressed a few small kisses on his cheek before leaving to get cleaned up.

When you came back, Minho was waiting for you in the same position so you cleaned him too and put some of his clothes back on, the pants definitely needed some mending.

"A sex doll?" Emily looked at you in disbelief, holding Shadow in her arms like a baby, moving the cat left and right.

"Yes, isn't he beautiful?" you smirked, patting Minho's head as he sat in your kitchen, company to you and your friend.

"I mean, he is. It's just a little creepy." she said and you gave her a pointed look which made her laugh. "But I shouldn't be surprised when it comes to you. He really looks human though." Emily added, coming closer to the doll as Shadow jumped out of her arms.

"Here's the thing. I pricked his finger the other day and he bled." you told her, adjusting on your chair as you picked up your cup of tea.

"He what? Now, that's creepy. Are you sure it was blood? Maybe it's some kind of trick?"

"Nope, it was definitely blood." you shook your head.

"Hm. Can you like open him up?" Emily asked, making you chuckle.

"Do you know how much I paid for him? I'm not about to cut him up, besides the manual said not to mutilate the doll."

"And why is that? Because they don't want you to know the doll's secrets? Just think about it." Emily shrugged. "Anyways, I have to go. Call me if you find anything out." she added, wiggling her brows.

You took a look at Minho, it hasn't even been a week since he was in your house, but he blended in perfectly with the rest of the decor, even when he was more than that. Shadow seemed to love him, always rubbing against his legs and sleeping on his lap. Animals had a sixth sense when it came to things like this so you trusted that you weren't in any danger. Still, you were so curious.

-

Come evening, you were in a mood.

There was music blasting from your speakers, the lights were all out except the dimmed moody ones and a few candles here and there. The tv was on too, a silent horror film playing on it. Outside, it was raining hard, almost drowning out any other sounds as big droplets kept hitting your window.

Shadow was tucked away in her room and you were wearing lingerie.

Minho was sat on your couch, you turned him to look directly at you as you downed a glass of wine before you started swinging your hips seductively.

The music took you over and you danced, forgetting about everything around you, including your companion Minho whose eyes were following every single movement, unbeknown to you.

"Oh!" you spun a little too fast, colliding with the side of the sofa and chuckling to yourself.

Your eyes fell to Minho, then the coffee table where you had left some cake and knife to cut it with. You bit on your lip as you made your way towards him slowly.

You picked up the knife, twirling the handle once, twice as you smirked at the dolly.

"Are you scared, doll?" you leaned towards him, your tits almost falling out of your skimpy bra as you pointed the knife at Minho.

He didn't seem to react at all.

"No? How about now?" you asked, leaning the knife on his cheek gently. "Or now?" you added, sliding it down his chest and abdomen slowly all the way towards the bulge that appeared in his boxers.

"Enjoying this? I'm glad." you smirked, putting the knife aside for a moment to unhook your bra and slide down your panties.

You undressed Minho too, spreading his legs a little and adjusting him before you turned your back to him.

"Like what you see?" you ran your hands up your hips to your waist as you looked back at him.

The reflection of the candlelight burned in his eyes as you slowly sat in his lap, his length filling your pussy up perfectly, your feet planted on the floor. A moan escaped your lips when you found purchase on his thighs, bracing yourself as you started to bounce on him. The sound of your ass slapping against his abdomen filled up the room and you threw your head back, enjoying the feeling of his tip brushing against your sweet spot.

"Ah! Fuck, Minho!" you moaned his name, feeling him twitch inside you instantly and you gasped as you came, lifting off of him and squirting all over his thighs. What a sweet mess.

"Oh." you moaned, taking him in once again as you sat down and started moving up and down, your thighs burning from exertion. You reached back to grab a handful of his ass, making the doll fill you up.

You leaned on him, your back flush against his chest as you grabbed his arms and wrapped them around you.

"I kinda wish you would come to life but at the same time I don't know if you'd like me. Right now, you have no choice. Isn't that kinda fucked up?" you looked up at Minho but there was no sign of reaction or movement. "Well, don't move. I'll be right back." you joked as you stood up.

You prepared a bath for the both of you, struggling a little to get him in but as soon as you did, you sat between his legs and relaxed in the warm water.

Shadow appeared in your bathroom, meowing at you.

"What is it?" you chuckled, leaning a little to the side to look at her.

Your cat's tail twitched a few times as she stared at Minho, releasing a few more meows before sitting down and continuing to stare at him. You looked back at your doll but he was chilling, looking straight ahead like he always does.

Eventually, Shadow gave up the staring and left the bathroom. Huh, that was weird, you thought but brushed it off as cat behavior.

After drying yourself and the dolly, you got dressed and tucked him in your bed. After years of sharing your bed only with your cat, it was nice to also have someone fill up the empty side of it. And Minho was warm and soft in a way, you had no idea how they made him like that but in the tired and lonely moments, you didn't care.

It's been almost a month since Minho entered your life and you shared almost every moment with him. He had watched you cook and clean, do your hobbies, play with your cat. But, you had yet to take him downstairs.

You weren't even sure if you wanted to. But you were dragging him around the house all the time like a kid drags their favorite teddy bear so you didn't see the harm in it.

Whenever a grieving family came to talk to you, Minho was tucked away in the safety of your room. Today, a particularly loud widow came in to cry to you about her husband who was now in your basement, waiting to be prepared for his funeral.

You reassured her he was in best hands and that you'll make him look as wonderful as you can, since the accident he passed away in had ruined his face.

You just needed to get some things from a few shops before starting, and as soon as the widow left you went to your room to see Minho.

"I'm going to town. I'll be back soon, honey." you chuckled, giving him a peck and a few pats on his soft hair.

You were done with shopping quickly and as the sun was setting you decided to walk across the main square and have a short stroll since you weren't carrying many things.

You saw a little crowd gathered there around someone so naturally curious, you made your way towards it.

An artist was sitting on a little stool, painting a portrait of one of the onlookers. You peered down to look at the canvas, hypnotized by the brush strokes and the movement of this person's hand.

Your eyes followed his arm to his face and your brows furrowed. He looked somewhat familiar. You were trying to think where you had seen him before but kept coming up blank.

"Do you want a portrait?" his voice broke you out of your thoughts.

"Ah, yes sure." you nodded and he started working on it immediately.

He was talented and quick and you kept observing him as he worked, still trying to think where he was familiar from.

"Here. Done." he smiled proudly and you chuckled.

"Thank you, it's really good." you took out your wallet. "Here." you gave him a 100, and his eyes widened slightly.

"Oh, thank you! T-this is a lot! Thank you so much!" he bowed a little as he took the bill from you.

"What's your name?" you asked.

"H-Hyunjin, miss." he looked a little panicked and you gave him a reassuring smile.

"Have I seen you somewhere?" you asked and he chuckled nervously, and you noticed a thin sheen of sweat on his forehead.

"Maybe you've seen me paint here." he said but you still weren't convinced.

"Maybe. You come here often?"

"I'm trying to make some money to buy a gift for my lover." Hyunjin smiled fondly and you smiled back.

"That's sweet."

"Thank you. Your portrait." he said as you stood up.

"Oh, thanks for that again. Bye, Hyunjin." you said as you grabbed it.

"Bye, miss." he yelled behind you as you walked away.

-

Finally, you took Minho down to your basement. You put him in safe distance from all the chemicals as you got ready to begin your work.

Minho sat in the corner, his eyes twitching a few times as he stared at your skilful hands. You worked almost on autopilot as you have done this a hundred times, rinse and repeat.

It took a few hours but the man finally looked at peace, you had reconstructed his face as much as you could for an open casket, the embalming process taking up most of the time after that.

After putting the body away and cleaning everything up, your eyes fell to Minho and you friend's words rang inside your mind.

Maybe you could take a little peak inside him? You stood there contemplating, remembering that he did in fact bleed when you pricked him, so if you cut him it might be even messier. You didn't want to hurt him but as always, you were too curious for your own good.

Minutes later, your dolly was shirtless on your table, a scalpel in your hand. Never has your hand trembled but as you brought the blade closer to his skin, your fingers twitched ever so slightly. Your heart sped up as you took a deep breath, pressing the scalpel softly against the doll's skin.

Suddenly, he lifted his hand and grabbed your wrist, his eyes moving to look at you as you screamed, trying to step back but he held on tightly, taking a deep breath that sounded somewhat painful.

"Don't hurt me." he pleaded, his voice raspy as he took in shallow breaths.

You snatched your hand away, the scalpel clattering on the floor as your wide eyes took in the sight before you. Your dolly was alive.

"I always had this irrational fear that some day one of the dead bodies I was working on would wake up." you chuckled.

"I wasn't dead." he sat up slowly and you rushed to him, seeing he was dizzy.

"I know. You bled when I pricked your finger."

"By the way, that hurt." he gave you a look and you shrugged with a smirk.

"What about the part that came after it?" you asked breathlessly as Minho's eyes softened.

"That was more fun." he smirked, making you chuckle. "Can we go upstairs? The fumes are making me nauseous."

You helped Minho up, taking him to the kitchen where he drank four glasses of water quickly while you heated up dinner.

"So, you were aware of everything the entire time?" you asked and he nodded, his cheeks becoming rosy. "I figured as much. Something was fishy ever since you came here. I knew you were alive."

Shadow appeared in the kitchen, jumping up on Minho's lap immediately and he wrapped his arms around the cat, caressing her. She meowed and started purring as she pushed her head into his hand.

"She approved of you from day one."

"I'm glad she did."

"Here, eat and then we can talk." you said, as if this was the most normal thing ever.

-

"It's so nice to be able to move and be outside in the fresh air." Minho noted as the two of you decided to take a walk in the woods behind your house.

The woods were comforting always and even more beautiful now with all the autumn colors painting the leaves. It was a bit chilly but you dressed well, the fresh air was helping you clear your mind.

"I bet it is. So, what do you remember before being here with me?"

"I remember a lab. Tables like the ones in your basement, I remember I didn't look like this from the beginning. I also remember I could walk and move and talk before they put something inside us. We were plugged to something and suspended in water tanks. There was eight of us."

"Oh, I saw the others on the site! Do you remember them?"

"Yes, I do. We all had our cells before they put us in the tanks. Chan was made first. Then there was me, Changbin, Hyunjin, Jisung, Felix, Seungmin and lastly Jeongin." Minho explained.

"Wait, Hyunjin?" you suddenly remembered the artist you ran into.

"Yes, he liked to paint."

"I saw him today!"

"You saw Hyunjin?" Minho's eyes widened. "Like this? Alive?"

"Yeah. Do you think the others are somewhere around here too?"

"Could be. I really miss them. We tried, y/n. We tried to fight the company but there were too many of them and we were kept in such a controlled enviroment. They kept injecting something with these big needles, it would make us sleepy."

"Do you remember anything before the lab?"

"As much as I dig around my mind, I only remember the lab."

"What do you mean, you didn't look like this the in the beginning?" you asked after a quiet moment of taking in everything Minho had told you.

"Well, I don't wanna gross you out with gory details." he said and you laughed.

"Honey, I'm a mortician."

"Right, you poke around dead people." he smiled teasingly.

"What a way to put it." you chuckled.

"Well. If you must know, they added skin later."

"Oh... Oh. So, I'm guessing maybe you're not human? Or at least, not entirely?" you said.

"I have no idea." Minho shrugged with a sigh.

Your hand brushed his as the leaves crunched under your feet.

You took hold of his hand, noticing his shy smile and rosy cheeks as your fingers entwined.

"We'll figure it out."

It's been about two weeks since Minho woke up and you had no idea your dolly would be so shy.

He avoided talking about what he was actually made for and never mentioned you using him for your pleasure multiple times. Minho enjoyed cooking for you and playing with your cat as much as he enjoyed watching you work and being the one to hold you during cold nights.

It was safe. It was comforting. You had found someone who was genuinely interested in what you do. Even when he was a little annoying, asking question after question like a curious child, his shiny eyes staring at you closely as he breathed in your personal space and kept asking stuff like 'What are you doing now?', 'What is that?', 'Why are you putting it there?'.

It was adorable as much as it was irritating, and you loved it.

Outside, it rained hard as you sat on your window bench, reading quietly while Minho sat on the sofa, cuddling with Shadow.

You gave him time to get used to everything, but you were feeling kind of impatient at the same time. Minho was observant, he learned all your little movements, the tone of your voice, what your sighs meant. He loved all the little details that made you you.

So, he stood up and made his way to you which got your attention, and you looked up from your book just in time as he stood in front of you.

"Yes?"

"Can I kiss you?" he asked and your eyes widened.

"Of course." you smiled then, your face heating up.

Minho sat down close to you, gently grabbing your book from your hands and putting it aside before he touched your face softly. He leaned in and you waited with bathed breath for his lips to collide with yours.

It wasn't what you expected, fireworks and passion, it was more gentle, more profound. He kissed you like you were the only thing that mattered in this world.

"I'm sorry I made you wait. It's just, I'm scared that somehow I will go back to how I was before. And I don't want that to be in that... prison anymore. Being able to see and hear it all but being unable to react, it was terrifying and I still have nightmares about it." Minho confessed as you ran your hands through his soft hair.

"That's not gonna happen, okay?"

"How are you so sure that it won't?" Minho asked.

"Because... I love you and I'm not gonna let anything happen to you." you said, Minho's lips trembled as he searched your eyes before a sweet smile spread on his lips.

"I love you too, my kitten." he smirked before leaning in, this time giving you a more passionate kiss.

It didn't take long for the kiss to escalate as Minho pushed his tongue into your mouth, tasting you. Your hands tangled in his hair as his roamed your body, exploring your curves and dips like he had always wanted to.

He kneeled between your legs, his knee pressed against your core and you whimpered into his mouth as he smirked against yours.

"My sweet kitten, I've always wanted to take care of you." he looked at you, eyes darkened with lust as you gripped onto his strong arms, your hips moving on their own as you rubbed your clothed pussy against his knee.

"M-Minho." you whined, throwing your head back and his lips attached to your neck and collarbone, traveling down between your breasts as he left hungry kisses everywhere. His hands gripped your waist before sliding down to grab your ass and lift you up.

You squealed as he turned your body towards the window; the view outside was breathtaking, all the leaves twirling in the wind, the rain dragging them down and washing them away just as the sky darkened.

"Here?" you gasped and he chuckled.

"Everywhere." he whispered in your ear before lifting your little nightgown and revealing your lacy panties.

"Very sweet." Minho grabbed handfuls of your ass and you moaned, nails scratching at the bench you were just sitting on. His fingers slid on your folds, your arousal soaking through the lace as he kept touching you, giving you a few spanks with his other hand.

You moaned his name, pushing back into him, your body craving for more; you were so touch starved that you lost your mind immediately, melting into Minho and giving him total control over you.

He wanted you as much as you wanted him so he slid your panties down just enough to have access to your wet pussy as he slid his pants and boxers down at the same time.

"I promise I'll take it slow later. I just need to have you right now." he breathed out as you felt the tip of his hard cock press and slide against your folds.

"Take me, Minho, please!" you pushed back again and he spanked you quickly, making you whimper.

"Stay still, kitten." he purred as he slowly pushed in and the stretch was perfect, your pussy taking him in easily until he filled you up completely.

"You feel perfect around me." he groaned as he started moving slowly, his hands splayed on your ass as you pressed your forehead into one of the decorative pillows on your window, little gasps and moans escaping your lips.

"Ah!" you moaned loudly when he hit your spot, biting down on the pillow as Minho's hand tangled in your hair, lifting your head up slowly.

"Let me hear you, kitten." he said, fucking into you harder, the sounds of skin slapping skin making your ears warm up in embarrassment. You caught a glimpse of your reflection in the window, seeing the expression on Minho's face sent shivers down your spine, your pussy clenching around his cock.

You let go and started moaning loudly, and the louder you got the faster he fucked into you.

"Just like that." he whined and you gasped, cumming around his length, making him more slippery and wet as he held onto you.

It only took a few more erratic thrusts before Minho exploded inside you, his warm cum filling you up deliciously and making you cum once more at the feeling of it.

"Oh." he gasped as he wrapped his arms around you, holding you tightly for a few moments. You finally turned around, grabbing his face and giving him a sloppy wet kiss.

"I love you." you smiled as he pulled you into a hug.

"I love you. I'm glad I came to you." he whispered.

"Me too."

The two of you were cuddled up with Shadow under a blanket, watching a horror movie per Minho's request when your doorbell rang.

"That must be Emily." you stood up quickly and Minho looked at you with a panicked look in his eyes.

"You sure she won't freak out?" he asked and you shook your head.

"No, she's literally seen everything with me." you chuckled as you went to open the door. Minho sat still on the couch, cuddling Shadow to calm his fast beating heart.

"Emily, I'd like you to meet someone." you pulled your best friend into the living room and she looked at Minho confusedly for a moment.

"Didn't we meet already?" she chuckled and Minho's lips fell open.

"She's not gonna faint is she?" he asked, making the both of you laugh.

"Not that I know of." Emily said with a shrug. "Look Minho, when you're friends with y/n for years, nothing really surprises you anymore. Plus, she told me in advance. Everything that happened and what you remember." she added as you served some tea for her.

"Minho sometimes has nightmares about the company." you added.

"Did you remember any more details?" Emily asked after taking a sip of tea.

"Not really. Just bits and pieces, it's more like feelings. Fear, dread, isolation. I especially hated when they experimented on us, the tables. I don't know what they did to us cause I couldn't move and look down but it hurt. The water tanks seemed to alleviate the pain though." Minho explained.

"Okay, now that is creepy." Emily said and you nodded.

"Did you manage to find anything on the site?" you asked her and she shook her head.

"I tried hacking it. It has top security on it, it's out of my skill range." Emily sighed. "I wish I could be of more help."

"Hey, you being here is enough for me." you grabbed her hand as she smiled.

"Oh, do you maybe know where the company is?" Emily suddenly remembered and Minho shut his eyes tightly, willing himself to think of the location.

"Ugh. I can't remember no matter how much I try. I don't remember traveling from there to your house." he looked at you.

"It's okay. We can try again another day." you said, caressing his back to calm him down.

It was all so suspicious and you were too interested in finding out more about where you dear dolly came from.

You were enjoying an afternoon nap when a loud clatter jolted you out of your dreams.

"What are you doing, Min?" you rubbed your eyes as you walked into the kitchen.

"Oh. I'm making dinner for us. It's been exactly five months since I came here so I wanted to do something special." he said, his cheeks rosy.

"Aw, you are so sweet." you melted instantly, making him chuckle shyly.

When you sat down to eat the delicious meal he prepared, you got to thinking.

You've never been so happy or felt so seen. Living with Minho, sharing the day and night with him came easy to you. Everything seemed more lively since he came into your life, even death became an afterthought when you spent time with Minho.

"Thank you for the wonderful dinner." you smiled.

"Of course." he stood up and you followed quickly, almost knocking your chair down.

"Wait here a sec." you told him before running off to your room. If he had made an effort with the main course, you were going to make effort with the dessert.

Minho decided to tidy up as he waited for you, his heart beating hard in anticipation. While you were sleeping, he saw the lacy set you had put out in your closet earlier and he was so excited to see you in it... or take it off of you.

"Min, come here!" you yelled from the room once you were ready and Minho all but tripped over his feet, the carpet and Shadow who was lounging in her spot before he came to you, looking as cool as a cucumber. He leaned on the wall and smirked at you.

"What do you think?" you asked, giving him a little twirl. The lingerie you wore left nothing to imagination.

"I think you look stunning." he said, somewhat breathlessly as his face heated up.

"You gonna do something about it?" you taunted and he made his way to you, his eyes filling up with lust.

His hands landed on your waist as he pulled you in, his lips pressing against yours. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders as you pressed your body as close as you could to his and his hands slid down to grab your ass.

You moaned into his mouth as he started massaging it, then giving it a few loving spanks.

"Fuck, let me take care of you, my love." you pushed him towards the night stand and Minho's eyes widened as you got down on your knees.

"Oh." he let out a quiet sound as you slid his pants and boxers down, not wanting to waste any more time. His cock was already hard and ready for you to play with and you were just too eager.

Your fingers wrapped around the base of his length as you leaned in closer, giving a few kitten licks to his tip, collecting the drops of pre cum on your tongue.

Minho breathed in sharply, his hands grabbing at the night stand behind him. You smirked, swirling your tongue around the tip, occasionally dipping it into his slit and trying to tease him as much as you could.

"Kitten." Minho moaned quietly, his hand tangling in your hair as you started sucking on the tip gently.

You were sure you couldn't take all of him but you were even more sure you were going to try anyways, so you slid down, taking more of his length in and trying to get used to it.

"You look so beautiful right now." Minho smirked, gripping your hair and holding you against him tightly. You moaned around him, sending vibrations through his body as you slid down more.

You bobbed your head up and down, wetting his cock with your spit and gagging around him multiple times and Minho couldn't help his desire as he slowly started to fuck into your warm mouth.

"Ah, y/n!" he groaned, accidentally pushing harder and making you gag. You slid off of him and he looked at you with panic in his eyes.

"Did I hurt you?" he asked, his palm gentle against your cheek.

"No, I'm fine." you said, biting on your lip. "Just very needy right now."

"For what?" he smirked and you whined.

"You."

"Get on the bed, kitten." he said and you stood up immediately, lying down on the bed.

Minho climbed in after you, kneeling between your legs as he pushed your panties aside.

"This what you need?" he smirked, sliding the tip of his cock against your wet folds.

"Mm, yes." you moaned, already arching your back at the slightest touch.

"Hmm, I'm not convinced." he smirked.

"Please!" you whined desperately, making Minho chuckle.

"Okay." he said but you saw the mischievous glint in his eyes and you knew he was going to tease you some more.

He pushed in just the tip, fucking you slowly with it.

"Ah, Min!" you whined as he kept smirking, giving you a minimal amount of stimulation.

Your eyes teared up in frustration as Minho kept fucking you only with the tip, your pussy clenching and begging for more.

"Please, please!" you cried.

"More?" he teased, pushing a bit more in and staying still.

"All of it."

"As you wish darling." he said before pushing all of his length in and fucking you slowly.

You moaned as you wrapped your arms and legs around him and Minho held you close as he kept rocking his hips into you.

You reached bliss together, wrapped up in each other, completely content.

"Wait." you giggled as Minho started getting up so he can get a cloth to clean you up.

"What?" he asked and you pulled him closer, patting his head gently.

"Oh." he giggled cutely before standing up and almost running off to the bathroom.

While you laid there waiting for him, your phone started ringing.

"Ugh." you groaned and rolled over to grab it.

"Hello?"

"Miss l/n?"

"Yes, this is she." you sat up, thinking it was someone calling for your funeral services.

"We are calling regarding our dolly collection. We understand you have purchased our dark doll, Minho." the cold voice on the other end said.

"Yes, I have."

"We regret to inform you that the collection will be pulled back from the public and we will be taking all the dolls back to our company due to a malfunction. You will get your refund of course. We will come pick the doll up tomorrow morning." they said right as Minho came in.

"Okay, thank you for calling." you said politely before finishing the call.

"Who was that?" Minho asked.

"It was your company, apparently they are taking all the dolls back to the lab due to a malfunction."

"What? Please, don't let them take me! I can't go back there!" Minho looked angry and scared instantly.

"Oh they can come here. But they won't find anything. I have a plan, my love." you smirked.

You were not about to let anyone take away your happiness.

The doorbell rang at 9am sharp and you took a deep breath before opening the door.

There were six men in black suits and emotionless faces standing there and looking at you.

"We've come to pick the doll up."

Suddenly, you hiccuped and started crying.

"He is gone! My dolly is gone! I woke up this morning and looked for him everywhere. But there is no trace of him. I-I put him in my bed like always but he disappeared!" you cried and the men exchanged a look.

"Mind if we take a look around?" one of them asked.

"Please, go ahead." you let them in and they started snooping around immediately. Shadow hissed at them, running away as soon as one of the men came anywhere near her.

They were definitely dangerous.

"W-what kind of malfunction happened to the dolls?" you asked, blowing your nose in a napkin.

"We aren't allowed to discuss that." they answered.

"What's downstairs?" one of them asked.

"My preparation room. This is a funeral home." you said and they gave you suspicious looks.

"Can we take a look there?"

"Of course." you nodded and opened the door.

Then men looked around as you followed them, still crying silently and hiccuping a few more times.

"Well, he is not here. Don't worry about it, miss. You will still get your refund and the doll will be found." they finally gave up after checking every nook and cranny, or so they thought.

"Okay, thank you for coming." you said as they left.

You waited for them to get into their van and drive away before you ran back downstairs.

"They left!" you quickly opened one of the caskets and Minho sat up, taking a deep breath in.

"Gosh, I almost suffocated. I could hear them walking around here, it was so scary." he said as you grabbed his face gently.

"But they didn't find you." you smiled.

"No, thanks to my genius lover." he smiled back at you as you leaned in to kiss him.

"What do we do now?" he asked when you parted.

"We wait to get the refund. And then we'll see what our next step will be."

"Are you sure they won't come looking for me here again?" Minho sighed.

"They can try. But I won't let them take you away from me. I promise."

Minho wrapped his arms around you tightly, putting all his trust into your hands.

You knew you were running a risk as long as you stayed here, but there were preparations needed to be done before you could get away.

And you wanted to make sure there was no trace left for the wrong people to find you.

taglist: @moonchild9350 @janepg @velvetmoonlght @hwanghyunjinismybae @jehhskz @porangporangmeong @laylasbunbunny @laughatdanger @jeonginslefthand @sapphirewaves @s3ungm1nxxl0ve @painterhyunjin @starlost-mochi-x @saintcosette @ooshyana @frehyun @scarlet789 @skzdust @schniti-is-in-the-house @eastjonowhere @sona1800 @channiesrightasscheek @justwonder113 @yvettemint @inaribu00 @httpdwaekki @possum-playground @ria-april @yn-x-them @mariahxrrera @0omillo0

[sirxaibs]

Can I ask for Sale Fisher x fem!reader that's popular? And could you PLS PLS PLS don't make her mean? Like, I want her to be popular becouse she's one of those poeple that just sthraight up go talk to anyone.

And maybe Sal's friend group thought that shes propably a bitch, but like.

'She sat at our table?.....and didn't make fun of us?.....in fact she gives compliments that don't feel backhandead?......wtf?'

⬆️just an example, you can do whatever with this.

Sorry for possibile grammer errors or speeling mistakes, english isn't my first lenguage. Thank you and I hope you'll have a nice day ♥️

Hey! I THOUGHT THIS COULD BE SO CUTE!! so Ive seen many fics on this and i wanted to take a different approach. I hope you enjoy it. I love Sal and I hope this isn’t too crazy. I wrote a version yesterday and made everyone a little too mean and I don’t believe any of them would be assholes. So! Hopefully this satiates y’all.

masterlist

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ Your legs ache from practice, the soles of your sneakers sticking a little to the hallway tile with each step. You smell faintly of sweat and cherry body spray, the cheer uniform still clinging to your skin like it’s part of you now tight pleats, school colors, and all. You could’ve changed, sure, but exhaustion said no. So here you are, hair in a high ponytail, shoes untied, carrying a stack of junk mail and a single envelope that doesn’t belong to you.

You look at it again under the flickering hallway light, flipping it over in your fingers like it’ll magically reroute to the correct mailbox on its own.

SAL FISHER

UNIT 402

You know the name. Everyone at school does. The kid with the face cover. You’ve never spoken to him he doesn’t really hang around the same kind of people you do but he’s always there. At lunch, in the halls, sometimes sitting out near the tree line when no one else is around. You didn’t peg him as the chatty type.

You stare at the letter like it might bite you. Then sigh. “Why not be a good neighbor,” you mutter, dragging your legs toward the elevator.

The ride to the fourth floor feels longer than it should. It shudders a little on the way up. You keep your eyes on the numbers. Three… four. The doors open with a ding that sounds half hearted.

You’ve never actually been up here.

The fourth floor feels… worse. Everything smells faintly of dust and something like mothballs and metal. You don’t know why, but the lights here feel dimmer. You walk slower, steps echoing.

You find the unit: 402. You raise your hand to knock. There was a pause for a few seconds.

A man stands in front of you, tall, a little disheveled, and definitely not Sal. His presence is immediate, like he fills the space just by being in it. You blink.

“Oh hi! Sorry,” you start, holding the envelope out, “I was just dropping this off”

“He’s in his room,” the man says before you finish.

You freeze. “Oh, no, I wasn’t trying to bother him, I just thought I’d–”

“Just go on in. Down the hall, last door on the left.”

You blink again. You’re not even sure he’s looking at you. Just staring somewhere past your head, like he’s already decided this conversation is over.

“I mean, I could just leave it here”

“Last door on the left.”

He steps aside, just enough for you to enter. You do, but not on purpose. Your legs just move. You step into the apartment, and it’s… weird. Not gonna lie, being in any strangers apartment never really felt cool. You walk toward the hallway, clutching the letter, mind screaming at you to stop being so polite.

“Damn old people,” you think, jaw tightening. “I just wanted to drop something off, not go all this way”

The hallway feels longer than it is. The floor creaks behind you, or maybe above you. You don’t look back. You keep walking. Last door on the left.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ You knock lightly once, twice then pull your hand back like the door might burn you. A pause. Then the knob turns. The door creaks open slowly, revealing a familiar figure just behind it. Blue pigtails. The mask.

Sal Fisher.

He stares at you. You stare back. Neither of you says a word. And because silence is somehow gnawing at your neck, you blurt, “Hi! Um, I think our mail got mixed up I swear I didn’t just barge in.”

You thrust the letter forward like it’s a peace offering. “This was in my mailbox. For you. I thought I’d, y’know, be neighborly and return it. I didn’t open it or toss it or anything. Your dad sent me over this way”

He takes the envelope slowly, his fingers brushing yours for the briefest moment. His gaze flicks down to it.

“Thanks,” he says. His voice is quieter than you expected. Almost gentle.

You nod. Then freeze. Then nod again. You’re still standing there, very much in his doorway, very much uninvited. His room is in full view behind him. Posters of metal bands you’ve only heard mentioned in passing. Skulls, red and black ink themes. A guitar in the corner. Tiny, vaguely creepy figurines lined up on a shelf.

“Your room’s so cool,” you say before your brain can stop you. You lean forward just a little, peering past him. “Seriously. This is like… Sid and Nancy level. How do you even find posters like that anymore? Oh my god is that an actual cassette player? That’s so sick.”

You wince as the words leave your mouth. “God, sorry, I’m not trying to be weird. I mean that in a good way. Promise.”

Your voice is speeding up. You’re spiraling. And you know it.

Sal just keeps watching you like he’s trying to figure out if this is real or a very strange dream. A cheerleader. In his doorway. Talking about cassette players. You finally cringe so hard your whole body folds in on itself.

“I’m gonna go,” you say, backing toward the hallway. “Sorry for the whole… I don’t know what that was. I was just trying to be a good neighbor and it turned into, like, a monologue of whatever the fuck.”

You turn halfway around to leave when you hear

“You wanna take a look around?”

You glance over your shoulder.

Sal is still standing there, holding the envelope like it might vanish. His posture is stiff, like he’s surprised the words came out of his mouth, too.

You blink. “I mean… sure?”

He nods. “If you’re into the posters, Do you dig that kind of music?.”

Your eyebrows shoot up. “Well I wouldn’t say it’s exactly my style but I’m a all things can be redeemable if you give it a try”

He jerks his head toward the room. “why not give it a try then”

You’re already stepping inside before he finishes, smiling wide. “You had me at ‘cool’ and sealed the deal with ‘band.’ Show me.”

The second you cross the threshold, it’s like entering another world. The bland apartment hallway behind you disappears into a mess of amps, guitars, wires, dark posters, and the faint scent of incense and old vinyl.

Sal gestures toward a small desk setup with beat up speakers and a laptop. He grabs a pair of headphones well worn, slightly cracked along the band and offers them to you.

“You don’t have to pretend it’s good,” he mutters. “Honest opinion’s fine.”

You shoot him a thumbs up and take the headphones like they might unlock the secrets of the universe.

He clicks play.

The drums hit first loud, fast. Then comes the guitar: raw, rich, angry. A distorted voice cuts through the noise melodic under the layers of whatever was happening, but clawing to be heard. Your eyes go wide. You start bobbing your head slowly. Then more. A grin creeps up your face, shoulders bouncing slightly as the music crashes through your ears. You grip the headphones tighter, fully in it like you’ve been dropped into a private punk rock concert in a dream.

When the song fades, you pull the headphones off with a breathless laugh. “That was… so good,” you say, eyes lit up. “Like, very loud but in the best way. I felt like I could punch God in the face. I loved it.”

Sal’s ears what little you can see of them turn just slightly pink. He shifts, crossing his arms. “Yeah?”

You grin. “What, because I’m in a cheer uniform, you think cheerleaders don’t have rage?”

He laughs softly. It’s warm. Unexpected.

You glance at the clock and groan. “Ugh. I should probably head back and pretend I’m responsible or whatever. Homework calls.”

You hand the headphones back, your fingers lingering a second before letting go.

“Thanks for showing me that,” you say. “Seriously. its super sick.”

Sal shrugs, casual, but he still won’t quite meet your eyes. In his head, he’s screaming. Because what the hell. A cheerleader just walked into his room, complimented his taste in music, vibed to Sanity Falls, and then thanked him like he did her a favor.

Respectfully and he does mean that. you’re hot. this whole thing feels like a glitch in the matrix. Like someone else’s life. He clears his throat. “Yeah. Uh. Anytime.”

You flash one last smile before turning to leave. Sal Fisher stands frozen in his room, A pretty girl was in his room.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ the clatter of trays, bursts of laughter, the shriek of a chair scraping too hard against the linoleum. Sal sat across from Larry, Ash, and Todd, picking at the edges of his sandwich more than actually eating it. His thoughts weren’t really on food. Not when they kept drifting back to the night before.

Cheerleader. In his room. Pretty girl. She liked his music.

“Hey,” he said finally, pushing his tray forward and folding his arms on the table. “Do you guys know that new girl who lives on the third floor now?”

Larry paused mid bite, sandwich halfway to his mouth. “Third floor?”

Ash glanced between them, already suspicious. “Wait. Are we talking about that new girl? Y/N something?”

“Yeah,” Sal said, tone casual like he wasn’t rehearsing the question all morning. “she dropped something off last night. Just wondering if you knew her.”

Larry barked a laugh. “The cheerleader? Yeah, she’s definitely one of those girls.”

Sal blinked. “Those?”

“You know,” Ash chimed in, leaning her chin on her hand. “Perfect hair. Always smells like a mall. Probably part of one of those fake bestie cliques that post about how much they loveee each other but secretly hate one another’s guts.”

Larry nodded, already back into his food. “Plastic. The kind that calls everyone ‘babe’ but doesn’t know your actual name.”

Todd, sipping from a thermos, finally looked up. “You guys don’t even know her.”

Ash raised an eyebrow. “And you do?”

“I’ve had class with her. She’s… quiet,” Todd said thoughtfully. “Pays attention. Says thank you when someone passes her a worksheet. She helped a freshman with their locker on the second day.”

“That’s your bar for decency?” Larry said, skeptical.

“I’m just saying, you’re judging her and like Sal was new too once,” Todd said. “You don’t know anything real about her.”

Ash groaned. “You don’t need to know someone to know someone, Todd. Some people just radiate mean girl energy. Trust me.”

Todd narrowed his eyes. “That’s a shallow assumption and you know it.”

Ash muttered something about “cheerleaders being a plague” under her breath, and Larry snorted.

Sal, who had gone unusually quiet, finally spoke again. “She’s not like that.”

All three of them turned to look at him.

Larry’s mouth slowly curved into a smirk. “Wait. Hold up. Why are you asking about her, dude?”

Sal looked down, then up, tone clipped. “I told you. She dropped off mail. That’s it.”

Ash crossed her arms. “why did she just come all the way up to your place to give you a letter?”

Sal shrugged. “Her mailbox got mine by accident. then stayed for a bit”

Larry leaned forward, grinning. “What, did she get lost on the way out?”

Sal blinked. “She liked my music.”

Ash scoffed. “What, like out loud?”

Sal nodded. “Yeah. She tried my headphones. Even headbanged a little.”

Todd smiled slightly. “That’s kind of cool.”

Larry shook his head like he was witnessing a miracle. “Okay, wait a minute. A cheerleader, listened to screamo music, and didn’t run screaming for the suburbs?”

Sal shrugged again. “She said it made her want to punch God.”

Ash froze, lips parting in a mix of confusion and, for the first time, mild interest. “Okay… that’s actually kind of hardcore.”

“She said my room was cool,” Sal mumbled, mostly to his tray.

Larry threw his hands up. “Okay, what the hell, Sal. Are you telling me you Sal ‘I sit by myself and listen to death metal’ Fisher just casually had a cheerleader in your bedroom?”

Sal didn’t reply, but his fingers drummed on the table a little too fast to be casual. Larry leaned in. “Dude. You got a cheerleader in your room. Are you sure this wasn’t a dream? Like a fever dream after one too many gas station burritos?”

Todd tilted his head. “Or maybe… maybe she’s just a person. Like the rest of us. Who happens to like punk and be good at flips.”

Ash scowled. “God, Todd, you sound like a teacher.”

He shrugged. “Just saying.”

Larry still wasn’t over it. “Next thing you know she’s gonna show up in all black with eyeliner and join a band.”

Sal didn’t say it out loud, but a flicker of a smile played under the edge of his mask at the idea. He kinda liked that you were so different. the juxtaposition of your looks and what you seemed interested was very cool to look at.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ You strolled through the crowd with your cheer squad flanking both sides laughing, gossiping, spinning their hair around fingers like it was a competitive sport. You listened absently as one of them launched into a dramatic retelling of how her ex “accidentally” liked her finsta post at 2 a.m.

You weren’t really paying attention. Not because you didn’t care, though the first time she talked about it had you engaged. but because your eyes had already locked onto something else across the cafeteria. A short blue haired guy sitting at a table near the back with a group of kids you’d only ever heard about through whispered rumors and cruel nicknames.

There he was. Sal Fisher. without really thinking without asking yourself anything at all you broke away from your group mid laugh. Just veered straight toward him like your legs had made the decision before your brain did.

“Wait, where are you going?” one of your friends asked behind you.

“BRB,” you called over your shoulder. “I want to bother someone.”

Across the cafeteria, at a table meant for the misfits, Sal was in the middle of pushing peas around his tray when a sudden blur of cheer uniform and bounce came into view. He looked up.

You stopped right beside him and sat down immediately grabbing his arm, breathless and grinning. “Okay, so, I’ve been thinking about that song you showed me all night. Like, literally, I couldn’t sleep. I need more. You got a playlist? A mixtape? A USB drive from hell? Gimme.”

For one perfect, cinematic second, the entire table was silent. Larry dropped his fork. Ash’s eyes nearly bugged out of her skull. Todd blinked like you had just walked through a wall.

Sal just stared. “You… what?”

You nodded eagerly, lowering your voice like it was sacred. “You ruined all my playlists. I need more of that noise in my life.”

He blinked again. “You sure?”

“You say that like you thought I wouldn’t.”

“I–” Sal started, then stopped, looking absolutely stunned.

You turned to the rest of the table, realizing they were still staring at you like you’d just sprouted devil horns and declared yourself prom queen of hell. You raised a hand sheepishly. “Hi. Sorry for interrupting. I’m Y/N. just moved this year.”

Ash looked like she was physically holding herself back from combusting. Larry was still open mouthed, and Todd was watching with the kind of intrigue usually reserved for alien encounters.

“If you’re anything like Sal,” you added, offering them a genuine smile, “then I’m sure you’re all cool as hell.”

Larry looked to Sal, eyes wide. “Yeah, he’s crazy cool. Though he did learn from the best” Larry awkwardly replied while pointing himself

Ash leaned toward Todd. “I think i’m on drugs, what’s happening” Todd just smiled quietly.

You turned back to Sal, who was very much glitching out in real time. “I’ll give you my number later,” you said with a wink. “Text me a playlist. Or this time I’m breaking into your room.”

Sal opened his mouth. Closed it. Nodded once like he was in shock. “Okay.” And then you were gone, skipping back to your friends, who were whispering furiously and shooting glances like you’d just fraternized with the enemy.

“what was that?” one of them hissed.

You smiled, tugging your ponytail higher.“you’re the one who told me to make friends here, thats all i’m doing.”

Back at the table, Sal stared down at his tray like it might give him answers.

Larry leaned in, whispering, “Bro. Are you a witch? Did you hex a cheerleader?”

Sal just shook his head.

“I think,” he said slowly, still stunned, “i think its jover for me.”

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ You weren’t quite sure how it happened. One second you were joking in the hallway with Sal about your shared hatred for lukewarm cafeteria pizza, and the next you were in his room, cross legged, spinning slowly on his desk chair while he nervously adjusted the volume on his old stereo system.

The room was quiet, save for the soft murmur of some obscure post punk band playing from the corner. You didn’t recognize the lyrics, but it felt like something you wanted to memorize.

“You know,” you said, glancing around, “I kinda expected more skulls. Or like… weird taxidermy?”

Sal laughed soft and surprised. “Yeah, you’re not the first to say that. I think Larry was disappointed when he first came over and didn’t find a Ouija board or something.”

You gave him a playful squint. “Wait, you don’t have one?”

Sal grinned slightly behind the mask. “Okay, I do. But it’s under my bed and mostly for decoration. Larry gets carried away.”

You hopped off the chair and crouched, peeking under the bed like you were on a mission. “You’re telling me there’s a haunted board game down here and you’re not showing me?”

“It’s not haunted,” he replied, clearly amused. “It’s just from a yard sale. Probably cursed with suburban angst at most.”

You laughed, brushing your fingers over a dusty shoebox. “Still cool. You’ve got good taste. I mean, look at this stuff.”

Posters of bands you’d never heard of were plastered across the walls, scribbled notebook pages taped in between like patchwork wallpaper. An old lava lamp flickered halfheartedly in the corner. There were stacks of CDs, cassette tapes, and one particularly weird clay sculpture that looked like it might’ve been made in a sleep deprived art class.

You plopped onto his bed and tilted your head. “This one’s my favorite,” you said, pointing at a crooked drawing of a girl with hollow eyes and messy hair. “She beautiful.”

Sal stepped closer, shoving his hands in his hoodie pocket. “That was… something I did when I was like, thirteen. Supposed to be a ghost from this dream I had. I kept seeing her for weeks after.”

You looked at him, expression soft. “You see ghosts a lot?”

He hesitated for a second, then nodded. “Sometimes. Not all the time. But yeah.”

“Damn. That’s metal.”

Sal let out another laugh, more comfortable now. “That’s what I told my therapist.”

You leaned back on your elbows, smiling at him from his own bed like you’d done it a hundred times. “So, what else are you hiding in here? Secret dungeon? Portal to hell?”

“Uh,” Sal said, eyes glinting with something playful. “Larry stole all the portals to hell. I’m more of a secret music archive guy.”

You shot up. “Prove it.”

He smirked and crossed the room to a cabinet by his desk, pulling open a drawer to reveal a mess of burned CDs, USBs, old MP3 players, and one tiny cassette player with a sticker that said “Play if you hate the world.”

You gasped like he’d opened the Holy Grail. “Sal. This is the coolest shit I’ve ever seen. You better send me everything.”

He knelt beside you, pulling out a CD with careful fingers. “This one’s the first mix I ever made. It’s super rough.”

You took it from him reverently. “I love rough.”

Sal’s ears went pink. “I, uh, that came out weird.”

“Yeah,” you teased. “but cant a girl say how she feels.”

You glanced at him, and he was already watching you, like he couldn’t believe you actually said that. Like you’d disappear if he blinked too long.

“Hey,” you said, quieter now. “You’re kinda talkative tonight.”

He shrugged, brushing some hair from his face. “You’re easy to talk to.”

That made something flicker warm in your chest.

“Same,” you murmured. Then you nudged him with your shoulder. “Do you like me here?”

Sal tilted his head, mock serious. “People probably that I’ve summoned a demon cheerleader to possess me.”

You grinned. “Yeah? Hope they’re right.”

And he laughed again. You liked that sound. You wanted to hear it more.

You and Sal stayed like that for a while, just talking. The kind of conversation that meandered and curved around strange facts and half finished thoughts. He told you about a ghost that used to knock on his closet door when he was little. You told him about the time you accidentally summoned a raccoon with a ritual you found on Tumblr. Somewhere between laughter and another CD recommendation, you spotted a small, beat up notebook tucked between the mattress and wall. It looked old, like something with secrets.

“Ooooh, what’s that?” you asked, already reclining across the bed to reach it.

Sal looked up, immediately alert. “Wait no, that’s!”

Too late. You stretched out, reaching over him as he sat back against the headboard. Your fingers brushed the edge of the notebook only for your balance to shift, the mattress dipping under your weight.

Thump.

You landed right on top of him. For a moment, neither of you moved. You were nose to nose, your chest pressed against his, hands awkwardly splayed on either side of his shoulders. His mask had tilted slightly, and you could see just a glimpse of the scar beneath it before he quickly adjusted it. His breath hitched so did yours.

Your eyes met.

Sal’s eyes were wide, pupils flicking between yours like he was scanning for some kind of signal. You suddenly became very aware of the warmth radiating off him. Of the way your knee was pressing slightly between his legs. The room, the music, the whole world had gone still.

“Uh,” he said softly, like he was trying not to spook you.

You blinked. “Sorry. Um. .”

“it’s okay,” he said, voice an octave higher than usual. “Totally. You’re all good trust. Yeah.”

You were about to say something maybe a joke, maybe not when the door slammed open with the force of someone who had never knocked in his entire life.

“Yo, Sal HOLY SHIT”

You scrambled off like you’d been hit with a taser, rolling off to the side and nearly falling off the bed. Sal sat bolt upright, stiff as a corpse.

Larry stood in the doorway, a soda can in one hand and a box of cookies in the other, blinking like he was trying to make sure what he was seeing wasn’t a hallucination.

“Dude,” he said, utterly stunned. “Did I interrupt something?”

Sal buried his face in both hands with a groan. “Larry.”

“No, because this is like… well im not going to say. You’re on the bed, she’s on top of you, the music’s playing do you guys want me to turn the lights down? Light a candle or something?”

You threw a pillow at him.

Larry dodged it “I can come back later. Like, waaay later.”

“You weren’t even supposed to come now,” Sal hissed, his voice muffled behind his hands.

Larry grinned. “I felt a disturbance in the force.”

You sat up and crossed your legs, trying to fix your hair and your dignity. “Hey Larry, how’s it going?.”

Larry raised his brows and backed toward the hallway with exaggerated steps. “I meet you once and you’re already over my man right here”

And then he was gone, disappearing down the hall with the sound of crinkling cookie packaging trailing behind him. Sal finally peeked up at you, his face still a little flushed. “…Im sorry about that.”

You smiled, brushing your hair back. “Im not too worried, He seems like a nice guy.”

Sal blinked, then laughed “I think I like having you around,” he murmured, almost too quiet to catch.

You grinned, nudging his knee with yours. “Then send me that damn playlist before I tackle you again.”

“…Not the worst threat I’ve heard,” he replied.

And the music played on.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆You sat criss cross on the grass with your cheerleader friends, your lunch mostly forgotten as you braided strands of your best friend’s hair while another girl animatedly recounted some drama from first period.

“…and then he said, ‘It’s not cheating if we were on a break!’” she shrieked, clutching her phone like it was sacred.

Everyone groaned, gasped, or fake fainted in synchronized horror.

You laughed, tossing a piece of grass in her direction. “He used the Friends defense? God, we need to start handing out red flags on flashcards.”

You were comfortable here. It was loud, messy, dramatic but it was yours. And they loved you because you weren’t just part of the cheer squad, or the new girl, but because you talked to the theater kids, the band nerds, the weird guy in the dinosaur hoodie. You didn’t care about cliques. You liked people. People were weird and interesting.

Eventually the bell rang and everyone stood, gathering their things in a flurry of hair and perfume.

“I’ll see you after school!” someone called. You waved, backing away toward the building with your backpack swinging behind you.

And that’s when you heard it. “Pick it up, you little freak. Or do you need your mommy to do it for you?”

You rounded the corner and froze. A smaller kid, maybe a freshman, was scrambling to pick up their books, hands shaking as a taller guy stood over him. Shaggy hair,, fists clenched like he wanted someone to look. A few papers blew past your feet. You didn’t step in. You knew better. You weren’t built like that couldn’t throw a punch or bark louder than a threat. And you knew the look of someone who’d use that.

But still… once the kid grabbed his stuff and scurried off like a spooked rabbit, you found your voice.

“Hey.”

The guy turned to you, annoyance etched into every line of his face. “What?”

You took a slow breath and tilted your head. “What’s your problem?”

He blinked, like you’d just asked him the square root of an existential crisis. “You wanna go?” he said, stepping toward you with all the bravado of someone who’d been fighting shadows his whole life.

You didn’t flinch. Just crossed your arms and stared. “You seriously pick fights with kids who can’t fight back? What, did your cereal bully you this morning?”

That got him. Just a flicker but it was there. A crack in the tough guy mask. He scoffed. “Don’t act like you know me.”

“I don’t,” you said honestly. “But I know whatever that was back there? Thats fucked, stop being a dick and maybe your mommy would do something about it.” His jaw flexed like he was holding back a hundred things he didn’t know how to say. “I’m not scared of you,” you added softly. “But you being a dick is pointless.”

He stared at you for a long time. Long enough that it should’ve felt uncomfortable. But instead, it felt… tense. Not dangerous. Just tight. Like something holding its breath.

Then, just before turning, he muttered, “Tch. Whatever.”

You watched him go, the anger in his steps still there but dulled, somehow. Like your words had wedged into the gears of whatever rage machine he operated on. You found out later from someone in gym class that his name was Travis. Just Travis. No one knew his last name, just that he was trouble, had a rep, and probably didn’t have many people who called him anything else.

Ash had seen it.

She’d been leaning against the side of the vending machines, chewing on the straw of her empty smoothie cup, eyes darting around the quad like they always did. She wasn’t looking for drama, not really, but if it stumbled into her path, she sure as hell wasn’t going to ignore it.

She watched the whole thing Travis towering, spitting venom, and you standing there, not brave enough to throw hands, but bold enough to ask why. Not backing down. Not even flinching.

When he walked off, still pissed but quieter somehow, she tossed her smoothie into the bin and strolled over like she wasn’t deliberately inserting herself.

“What was that?” she asked, casually, like she’d just seen you pet a lion.

You turned, slinging your backpack higher on your shoulder. “What was what?”

Ash raised a brow. “With Travis. You said something. He didn’t hit you. That’s basically a miracle.”

You shrugged, still feeling the adrenaline buzz in your ribs. “I don’t know. Just… couldn’t walk past it.”

Ash snorted. “People walk past him all the time. He’s an ass. A racist, sexist, homophobic caveman with fists for brains. Trust me, most people are glad to stay out of his way.”

You chewed your lip. “Yeah. I guess. I just. I don’t know. People who are assholes need someone to speak up.”

She tilted her head, considering that for a beat. “You ever get into fights?”

“God, no,” you said quickly. “I’d die.”

Ash smirked. “That checks out. Still, you didn’t run. Didn’t go fake sweet or start crying to a teacher. You just… confronted him. That was kind of bold of you new girl.”

“Thanks?” you offered, unsure.

She walked with you now, matching your steps as you made your way down the hall. It was quiet, the rush between lunch and next period tapering off.

Ash glanced sideways at you. “Y’know, I pegged you as another one of them.”

You didn’t need to ask who them was. You’d seen the way she looked at your cheer friends. Glitter and high ponies didn’t mix with combat boots and smudged eyeliner.

You smiled softly, still looking ahead. “Yeah. I get that a lot.”

She didn’t say anything for a second. Then: “Turns out you’ve got more bite than you let on.”

You turned to her, surprised. “You saying that like it’s a good thing.”

Ash shrugged. “Might be.”

That was it. No over explanation. No emotional dive into friendship territory. Just the Ashley Campbell version of a peace offering. She didn’t invite you to hang out or trade numbers. She didn’t ask personal questions or gush. But the next time she saw you in the hall, she nodded at you instead of looking through you.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ The bell had just rung, and the hallways were alive people yelling across rows of lockers, someone dropping a textbook with a dramatic slam, and the smell of cafeteria pizza already creeping in. You scanned the crowd like a bloodhound on a mission.

Sal Fisher. Quietly standing near the usual corner with Larry, Todd, and Ash. He had his hands in his pockets, head tilted as Todd went off about some new theory, probably ghosts or government tech. Ash was chewing on a straw and nodding vaguely, while Larry interrupted every other word with “Nah, but listen what if?”

You didn’t even think twice.

“Hey!” you called, bounding over like a cartoon character with too much energy and absolutely no sense of personal space. “There you are, Blue.”

Sal looked up right as you reached him. “Blue?”

“You’re wearing blue,” you said, pointing at him. “And your hair’s blue. You’re very committed to the aesthetic.”

He tilted his head. “I wear black more than anything.”

“Technicalities,” you said, grabbing his sleeve. “Come on. We’re doing something.”

Larry raised a brow. “Is this a kidnapping?”

“Definitely,” Ash answered flatly.

“Wait, what are we doing?” Sal asked, laughing under his breath as you pulled him gently away from the group. “Do I get a say in this?”

“You get to walk or be dragged, your call.”

“That doesn’t feel like much of a choice,” he muttered, but he let you lead him anyway.

“Where are you taking him this time?” Todd called out with actual concern.

“To the moon,” you replied without turning around. “Or maybe just the vending machines. We’ll see.”

Ash cupped her hands around her mouth. “Bring him back in one piece!”

Larry shouted after, “AND IF HE COMES BACK MARRIED IM ATTACKING YOU FOR NOT LETTING ME BE BEST MAN!”

You groaned and shot them a look over your shoulder. “Y’all are so dramatic.”

“We’re dramatic?” Ash asked, gesturing wildly. “You swooped in like a caffeinated falcon and stole our boy mid convo!”

Sal laughed beside you, his eyes squinting just slightly with amusement behind the mask. “You kinda did.”

“Okay, but be honest,” you said, bumping your shoulder into his. “You weren’t even really paying attention to Larry’s alien rant.”

“…It was about space cats this time.”

“See? I’m rescuing you.”

He chuckled again, a little softer this time. “Then thanks, I guess. You know, I’ve started looking forward to these.”

You slowed your pace, peeking at him from the side. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he nodded, a bit bashful now. “You’re crazy and I am definitely living for it.”

Your smile tugged wider, warmth blooming in your chest. “That might be the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.”

“You need better friends,” he teased.

“I have you,” you shot back.

And that quiet moment hung between you both for just a second comfortable, kind of sweet, a little electric.

Back at the hallway corner, the trio watched you both disappear down the hall. Ash crossed her arms, a curious look on her face. “Im glad to have found out she’s not just some glitter clone.”

“Nope,” Larry agreed. “She’s cool. Like, actually so cool.”

Todd smiled faintly. “And Sal likes her. That much is obvious.”

Ash gave a small nod, the corner of her mouth twitching up. “Yeah. He really does.” for once, none of them said anything snarky.

[socksual-innuendos]

What are ghouls?

we just don't know....

Some ghoul biology headcanons and some review of the two different ghoulification methods (as supported and not by canon)

This was initially sparked by how I hate the implication of all ghouls being obligate addicts to prevent going feral (as seen from the show). However, given what we know of the themes of Fallout and some confirmations in both FO: Prime and FO4, I've decided there might be some interesting implications here, along with further looks into what makes ghoul go ghoul.

Please let me know what you think, I love this sort of meta talk.

Edit Log:

Edit 1 (4/25) - Spelling, phrasing, and additional Glowing One information made to "Biological Quirks" section in Radiation

So what are ghouls?

Well, a short description from what we see from the wiki/games/canon is that ghouls are those exposed to radiation that don't die of radiation poisoning and instead mutate. Exposure means vary from accidental exposure from the bombs/irradiated areas to outright deliberate exposures via experimentation, hopes for immortality, or simply listed as....."serum/drug".

The games have shown us that the process of ghouling isn't just novel to humans, nor is it just novel to humanoid shapes (see; Harold). However I am going to specifically cover humans and how they ghoulify.

There isn't a set reason on what exactly predisposes someone to ghouling vs dying, nor is there parameters on what makes them go feral. Risk factors, yes, but nothing set in absolute stone (aside from that inhalant withdrawal) This leaves room for the fun, and boy did I have fun writing this.

So lets start with the obvious;

There are two subsets of ghouls,

This is actually implied by canon and outright stated in the meta material. One set is directly radiation induced. These are the ones we are most familiar with.

The other is biochemically created, induced by drugs. These we have a few examples of, however with little to no explanation of....why is there a ghoul drug. More specifically, no direct reason is given for "Drug that turns you ghoul". I however have some ideas on how this came about.

In this post I will cover a few topics relating to ghoul qualities and how they vary between the two sub-types. These will be;

I. Modes of Creation: How We Go Ghoul and What This Implies II. Biological Quirks III. Ferals. What Are They, What Causes Them, And Why Aren't They Attacking Each Other IV. The Rotting vs Chem-Heads: Interpersonal Politics Within Non-Feral Ghoul Populations

I. Modes of Creation: How We Go Ghoul and What This Implies

Ghouls Created by Radiation Exposure:

So you've just survived the nuclear holocaust. What's next? Well, if the onset of radiation sickness is anything to go by, then not much....

Unless you're one of the lucky few who ghoulify.

But what causes one to ghoulify and another to succumb to the radiation? What exactly in the genes make one turn while another simply dies. The exact answer does not seem to exist, however we are shown in several cases that Pre-War was not afraid to experiment with radiation.

While in some instances these experimentation involved medications or chemicals (see: next section), there is mention of controlled exposures to radiation being something studied.

This experimentation can be seen through Vault-Tec Vaults (Vault 12) and implied in a few pre-war medical buildings/holotapes (Robco Buildings, the accounts of Control Subject Peters) and with outright accounts, such as Eddie Winters and Desmond Lockhart.

In short, while we don't precisely know if Pre-War knew that ghouls from radiation exposure were truly and properly immortal, or even considered them as a "successful" rabbit hole to pursue for immortality, we know that experiments to study the effects of radiation sickness were performed. In some cases, the exposure was to test for serums and medications that would hopefully prevent/reverse radiation sickness (And likely how we got Rad-X/RadAway. See: FO4s Control Patient Peter's Logs).

We do however see that irradiation is likely the most common mode for many of the ghouls of the wastelands. Pre-War ghouls that were not part of radiation exposure experiments were often times implied to be those not from areas directly in blast range and rather came into radiation exposure after they crawled out through the falled-out, baby (kill me). However, those directly in the blast that weren't vaporized are often implied to immediately be turned feral (Camp Searchlight, and other similarly directly hit areas), though sections such as Lonesome Road and certain in-game ghouls prove that some do not immediately turn feral.

These ghouls are described as experiencing radiation sickness that never got around to killing them before...it almost seeming to get better. They experience the GI upset, hemorrhaging, "illness" (fever), confusion, sloughing of necrotic tissues, and so on, before stabilizing into what we call ghouls. It is assumed that they eventually hit the "regenerative" stage of ghoulification after their bodies succumb to these symptoms. This may be evident due to radiation exposed ghouls having the intense healing potentials as ghouls, but never "gaining back" normal, non rotting appearance.

Ghouls Created by Biochemical Means:

We know through Hancock that there is an "experimental radiation drug" that can ghoulify people. We see something similar in FO:Prime, with Thaddeus taking a "healing serum" from the Chicken Fucker and how it looks (both in color and method of using) similar to that of the chem that The Ghoul uses/depends on. We are given both The Ghoul and one of his acquaintances (Ass Jerky) as direct examples of being dependent on this chem to prevent going feral.

According to the wiki, there are implications of two different types of chems that can cause a person to ghoul, directly quoted with "This does depend on the type of the drug"

While I am not too certain that these drugs differ all that much in how they cause ghouification, I have a theory about why the wiki needed to state multiple types of chems that ghoulify an individual.

Firstly that there is mention of experiments for immortality. I believe that this may be an "all roads", a converging of methods to one end, type scenario. Multiple drug types, one outcome. One or more of the major corporations was trying to unlock the secrets to immortality, however in this world that usually comes to the end of "ghoulifying" in some manner. I believe this is the drug-type that those like Hancock had found and used. This is the rarest of these types of drugs (as supported by canon) and also does not cause dependency of its users.

Secondly, I believe there are other handful of instances where some tried to create failed (or even prototype) Rad-X like medications (or even some kind of advanced form of Stimpaks) prior to the war as a "Keep this in your prep-kit" first-aid. This would be the direct medication (and in long post-war scenarios "Copy Cat" medication) that those like The Ghoul and ghouls in Fallout: Prime are dependent on. This would easily explain how some people, pre-war (such as Cooper Howard, as we know his personality pre-war) who may seem resistant to the idea of experimental or even promised immortality, would accidentally become a ghoul who is obligatorily stuck taking this medication. This being an assumed Rad-X/Immediate big wound healing-like drug would also allow for easy accidental (or deliberate) manufacturing post-war selling of it. Home brewed variations of a radiation resistant/Stimpak-like medication can sometimes have opposite effects, and this may be how some people "accidentally" become biochemically created ghouls.

We can however see that there is a market created for biochemical ghouls and their stabilizing medications as both F76 and FO: Prime show that these drugs are manufactured post-war and specifically for ghouls.

The wiki mentions that biochemically created ghouls retain their appearances longer than radiation created ghouls, however ultimately they begin their own process of becoming what we know more traditionally as ghouls. We can see this illustrated with Thaddeus from the show.

Now let's move on to how they differ as ghouls;

II. Biological Quirks

Ghouls are defined by a few qualities;

Extended lifespan (functionally immortal), enhanced healing factors, immunity to disease, radiation perks, nourishment requirements, and issues with sterility/reproduction.

We will dive into each of these topics and discuss that while both ghouls may share these qualities, there may be some variance into the extent or modes of how these qualities present.

Extended Lifespan:

We have come to understand and observe that ghouls will live, functionally, forever, unless killed. This point is fairly straight forward, however going feral is an ever present fear amongst both irradiated ghouls and biochemical ghouls. While we will explore ferals later on in this post, we will note that this can be seen as its own form of "death" within certain ghoul communities.

Enhanced Healing Factors:

We are both shown and told that ghouls have incredible healing abilities. While they cannot regrow limbs, it is shown that they can reattach missing body parts so long as one is available to graft.

We will get into nourishment needs in its own section, however I believe that the healing factors also extend here. Ghouls can sustain themselves longer without food or water due to some work of their healing factors, however this creates a strain on the body that makes injury recuperation dampen slightly.

However, while ghouls tend to be able to regenerate from bodily injury with ease, we can see some examples of preexisting conditions not being healed (a directly given example is Hugo Stolz in F76, who remains blind even after ghoulification). This may be explained with the same reason as to why ghoul skin is necrotic and does not seem to heal itself. My personal justification is that anything that happens prior to a ghoul "stabilizing" is almost always permanent.

Another thing to note is how this regeneration is an imperfect process. This may be best illustrated with how biochemical ghouls have a slower "ghouling" of their appearance. It is mentioned that "accumulating damage will change the ghoul's appearance over time". This implies that sometimes healing from an injury is not done perfectly or appropriately. This could also explain why some ghouls have different disfigurements or gain degenerative conditions such as arthritis, loss of vision, or hearing.

Immunity To Disease:

We know that ghouls have an amazing ability to regenerate, however it is not gone into detail about how they are "unaffected by most common diseases". I personally believe there is some nuance to this between irradiated ghouls and biochemical ghouls.

Irradiated ghouls no longer have an immune system. This was something destroyed and not gotten back (much like how areas of skin will slough off and not regen). However, due to their body's base radiation retention there are very few ailments that can actually infect an irradiated ghoul to being symptomatic. Their bodies are generally inhospitable to outside invading organisms.

Biochemical ghouls on the other hand retain some of their immune system and have a lesser resistance to disease than an irradiated ghoul. However they have a better resistance than an unmutated human to diseases.

Both ghoul types rely on their bolstered resistance to disease and their healing factors to protect against diseases as most medications do not work on them, or at least have a lessened overall efficacy. Again this goes off the logic from the wikia that a ghoul's healing factors provide some dampening effects to chems. Also through this logic, poisons tend to also need to be administered in much higher doses for a ghoul to even feel the effects of it.

While most medications do not tend to effect ghouls or only work at higher dosages, there is a special interaction they have with Rad-X and RadAway. We will explore this in the next section.

Radiation; Resistance To And Effects Of:

Ghouls are especially known for their resistance to radiation. This is a quality that is as associated with them as the potential of going feral is. However, I believer there are some key differences between the ghoul types and their interactions with radiation.

Irradiated ghouls stand to gain the most from radiation, for obvious reasons. While traveling through the warm glowing fields of areas still emitting high levels of radiation is a perk in and of itself, they also stand to gain some physical benefits from this as well.

With the example of the Marked Men, it is shown that ghouls can subsist off radiation alone. I also believe this bolsters their base healing factors. Toss a bag of meat pulped ghoul into a nuclear waste spill and he'll join you for dinner in a few hours. They may also experience boosts in mood and endurance.

Irradiated ghouls are canonically mentioned to also hold onto their radiation exposure, where some even become glowing ones. I do think that a ghoul must have moments of "recharge" to remain glowing ones, as over time radiation decays off the body. While the short term doesn't seem to be effected by this, for beings who can live hundreds of years, some can see fluctuations of internal radiation retention.

There is also mentioned for glowing ones being somewhat eccentric. With this idea I say continued radiation exposure and retention can produce almost a high or destortive effect to cognitive function if left unchecked.

Almost comically, while ghouls have no direct use for RadAway, they can use it to drop this retained radiation. This however is dangerous for Irradiated ghouls...

There is however mentions that radiation exposure can be a risk factor of feralization. We will go into further detail later on, however I will slightly touch on this now.

Concentrated blasts of radiation can be dangerous for both ghoul types, however high radiation exposure over time is more a risk factor for biochemical ghouls going feral than irradiated ghouls. On the other hand, irradiated ghouls using RadAway would put them at a higher risk for going feral. Thankfully this later issue is not something most irradiated ghouls need to consider. Most documented RadAway use in ghouls is for retained radiation regulation for those choosing to stay within human colonies.

Nourishment Requirements:

The wiki seems to be pretty inconsistent with this, so I take this as an invite to shoehorn my theories in. The wiki says that ghouls do need to feed and water themselves to stay alive, however we are given a few instances where this is heavily not the case.

Outright, we are given exceptions to the rule with Coffin Willy, Woody, Billy Peabody (fridge kid), and The Ghoul, all of whom had scenarios of being deprived of food and water and survived for extended periods (and most egregiously is Billy, who was trapped in a fridge starving and thirsty for over 200 years).

This is justified however by them being in "a hibernation like state", however other examples are also the Marked Men, who are said to be sustained off radiation alone. These ghouls are shown to be in an active and alert state. Raul Tejada himself mentions baking in the sun for several days, and while unmoving, had to trek three days back to civilization afterwards. We may see other examples of this through dialogue implications where ghouls may be deprived of food and water needs for durations that would kill a regular human.

I believe however that this can be dangerous for ghouls, especially given our next discussion of feralization.

It is worth noting that the wikia says ghouls have lost their sense of taste. While this may be a common phenomenon, we see it may not necessarily hold true for all ghouls due to comments from ghoul companions regarding flavor preferences. (See: Raul's sweet tooth)

Sterility/Reproduction:

While it is broadly understood that ghouls cannot reproduce, the wiki does not dive into much more detail here. I, however, propose that while radiation as a whole is detrimental to the reproductive system, coupled with the regenerative effects of ghouls, there are some...unfortunate outliers within this topic.

In regards to spermatogenesis, sperm count is at a constant low. Assuming there is anything produced, it is almost always malformed in someway.

In regards to ovum, almost all remaining eggs within the ovaries are considered mutated and non-viable. While menstruation is not unheard of in ghouls, it is more likely to occur in biochemical ghouls. However, all cycles are highly abnormal with next to no regularity. Ghouls will eventually hit a 'menopause' and 'post menopausal' state, however this is not conventional in timeline as with humans.

While viability of either gamete is near non-existent, this doesn't prove absence of fertilization. Most common cases of fertilization is that between human egg cells and ghoul sperm cells. While this often ends with miscarriage in the blastocyst stage, implantation has happened in even rarer cases. Intervention is usually needed as this often is ectopic or produces continual hemorrhage. In even rarer cases, these can produce teratoma type "pregnancies".

Very rarely does a ghoul egg cell get fertilized. It is almost undocumented and it is believed this is due to every instance of fertilization is miscarried before or soon after implantation.

Within the realm of sexual disease, there is few directly infectious agents to worry about between ghouls. However, for ghouls with human partners it is encouraged to use barrier-type protection or other means to limit radiation exposure. Necrotic tissue is also a concern, especially when exposed to mucosa membranes. Exposure of irradiated semen to these membranes is also another large concern for human partners. Condoms are highly encouraged, with rad-checks and use of RadAway being another measure to facilitate healthy measures for these relations.

III. Ferals. What Are They, What Causes Them, And Why Aren't They Attacking Each Other

So let's talk ferals. Aside from the rotting flesh smell and appearance, the threat of going feral is among one of the biggest factors that non mutants use for ostracizing ghouls, and one of the biggest internal threats that ghouls face.

While we understand what causes feralization and know risk factors, what precisely triggers one to turn feral while another doesn't is about as well understood as what makes some go ghoul in the first place.

Feralization is described as a degenerative process of the mind and, in late stages, the body.

In this section we will cover a few things;

1.) Risk factors and how they fluctuate between ghoul sub-types. 2.) Behaviors of ferals 3.) Inter-community treatment of ferals

Risk Factors: What Are They And How They Differ Between Ghoul Subtypes:

We are of the understanding that ghouls can turn feral when experiencing certain physical or mental stressors. These stressors are reported as follows;

Social Isolation Poor Mental State/Intense Emotional Stressors Exposure to Intense Radiation Genetic Factors

While the above are wiki provided risk factors, I have included some of my own accepted risk factors below;

Intense Physical Stressors Extended Periods of Fasting/Dehydration Sudden Decrease in Retained Radiation Substance Withdrawal

First we will address the risk factors that effect both sub-types and discuss how these can pose higher or lower threats based upon the specific biology of said ghouls.

Social isolation, poor mental state/intense emotional stressors, genetic factors, substance withdrawal, intense physical stressors, and extended periods of dehydration/starvation are all things that can trigger feralization in ghouls, however the threshold for such will vary among the individuals.

For irradiated ghouls, exposure to intense radiation is unlikely to be a trigger for feralization unless it is a direct, concentrated blast of radiation. However if there is a sudden decrease in their retained radiation, such as if RadAway is used in high enough doses, then feralization is a much higher concern.

Irradiated ghouls have somewhat of an advantage against starvation/dehydration, as being in areas with a higher ambient radiation can mitigate the ill effects of not eating/drinking.

Biochemical ghouls, however, struggle more with going longer periods of time without sustenance. They are also more vulnerable to continued exposure to high doses of radiation. While it is unfair to include their serum under substance withdrawal, it is also their main means to prevent feralization. However both ghoul types are vulnerable to withdrawal causing them to turn.

Behaviors of Ferals:

It is well known that feral ghouls are a dangerous type, however it is also well known that they do not seem to attack each other nor other ghouls.

If feralization is a degradation of higher cognitive function, how is it then that most feral ghouls know when they are in like company? This is not so well understood, however it has been observed that appearance does play a role but is not a sure fire way to pass through a horde of feral ghouls. One theory I have is that ferals are drawn to radiation and by extension can feel it off other ghoulified beings. This keeps them in a calmer, more contented state. Surprisingly, super mutants seem to also bypass the ire of feral ghouls. The precise reason for this is less understood, however FEV may have some play here. It is known that ferals have heightened senses, perhaps even FEV created mutants have a specific smell that does not trigger a hunt response in feral populations.

In regards to their dangerous behaviors, ferals seem to be driven by hyper aggression and hunger. I will take liberties and a page from the lobotomite handbook, as well as reference how some extensive cognitive degeneration causes hyper sexuality/aggression in some.

However, the less observed side to ferals is one more human. While they never truly seem to know what they are doing, some ghoul colonies that tend their feral population note domestic-like behaviors such as; attempting to clean, cook, perform yard work, tend dolls, or perform duties and adhere to schedules relating to those they had prior to turning feral. Some have even reported that certain ferals "remember" actions such as smoking and will perform this in rudimentary fashion.

Inter-Community Treatment of Ferals:

So now that we know more about feral ghouls, how do they fit into the world? While most of us know them as residing in city ruins, content to stay hidden away from the harshness of the burning sun and light, some have found home amongst ghoul societies.

While non-feral ghouls within mixed colonies may hold less compassionate views of their feral brethren, certain ghoul societies dedicate care and inclusion of ferals into their society. Their exclusion may even be seen as betrayal, and they are as valued and protected as much as any non-feral member.

IV. The Rotting vs Chem-Heads: Interpersonal Politics Within Non-Feral Ghoul Populations

While most people view ghouls as ghouls, and acceptance of them can vary from being seen as equals, to indifference, to outright hostility, the nuance between irradiated ghouls and biochemical ghouls is almost entirely understood exclusively within ghoul populations (or with those that study them).

Unsurprisingly, this has caused some conflicts. While feralization is something that is an assumed inevitable end for all ghouls, the more immediate threat of turning plagues most biochemical ghouls near constantly. This has given some irradiated ghouls a complex that biochemical ghouls are the poster child for why most non-mutant societies fear unprompted feralization.

On the other end, biochemical ghouls will often criticize their irradiated brethren for their appearance and smell being a determining factor for why most people do not welcome ghouls into most spaces.

There is also the discussion of who has suffered more, with irradiated ghouls often citing their endurance of radiation sickness and often continued effects while biochemical ghouls often quote their substance dependency as a constant struggle.

V. In Conclusion:

So surely with all that we have learned so far we understand that there is much more complexity to ghouls than initially thought. I hope you enjoyed my compilation of ideas and stuff I got off the wiki/from gameplay as much as I enjoyed writing it.

If you have any ideas or compilations for ghouls, feel free to drop them in the replies! I look forward to reading them and perhaps even working on another post regarding ghoul social and cultural structures!

[elliesbelle]

nobody compares to you

chapter 14

pairing: ellie x reader

synopsis: you're in your junior year of college and at a party, you run into the girl who broke your heart: ellie williams. despite the time it took to reset your life, will you risk a broken heart again for her?

content warnings: modern college au, cursing, angst, dealer!ellie, some setting is in a hospital, mentions of catheters and needles, descriptions and talk of anaphylaxis, mentions of financial difficulties, mentions of alcohol, mentions of toxic parents, mentions of death and suicide, minors do not interact

word count: 7.9k

chapters: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen

series masterlist

my masterlist

i have a ko-if if you like my work so much that you feel compelled to tip me ♡︎

the "nobody compares to you" spotify playlist

palestine will be free

The first thing you feel is something plastic poking the inside of your nose. It smelled of chilly, medicinal air conditioning. 

The next thing you feel is a massive, unpleasant weight on your chest. Then at the crown of your head. Then some weird pressure squeezing your calves every few seconds. Then an entirely full bladder. 

“I need to fucking pee.” You mutter, voice dry and raspy. 

“I think you can just go, dude.” A familiar voice replies. 

You fight against the crustiness of your eyes but immediately regret it. All you can see through the slits of your eyelids is a harsh, white light. 

“Am I… Am I fucking blind?” You whine. 

“I’m pretty sure that your eyeballs are still inside your head. So hopefully not.” You hear the voice chuckle. 

You fight against the unforgiving glare from above, forcing your eyes open. It takes a few moments to gain control of your body, but you’re eventually able to crane your neck towards where the voice had previously echoed from. 

“J-Jesse?” You croak. 

“Yeah. I’m here, bud.” Your raven-haired friend smiles. 

You spot him to your left, sitting in, what appears to be, an uncomfortable armchair. He wore a blue disposable mask over his nose and mouth, his hair looking unkempt and unshowered, and you notice how his clothes look wrinkled and slept in. 

“What happened? Are you alright? What’s going on?” You groggily inquire. 

“You’re the one all strapped to a hospital bed, but you’re asking me if I’m okay?” 

Jesse takes your hand and squeezes it appreciatively. He flashes you a soft, warm smile. 

“How are you feeling?” He asks. 

“I-I’m not sure…” You admit. “What… what the hell happened?” 

“Well,” Jesse starts slowly. “You went on a date with Anderson to Orchards yesterday. At the end of it, you were being a total dummy and made out with her after she ate a whole plate of shrimp.” 

“N-no, no,” You interrupt, scrunching your face up as you try to recall the previous day’s events. “She ate this whole soup thing for dinner. Some weird French dish with some weird-sounding name.” 

“Bouillabaisse,” Jesse clarifies. “It’s a fish soup. It doesn’t always have shellfish in it, but hers apparently did.” 

You groan. 

“Oh, I am such a dumbass.” 

“Please explain to me exactly how you were being a dumbass in this situation.” 

“You literally just said that I was a dummy!” 

“That was Jesse of the past. I’m a much more mature man now in my old age.” 

You attempt to smack his arm, but he’s saved by the many coils of IVs attached to you, pulling your hand back. 

As he playfully rebukes you for attempted physical abuse, another person enters the room. A kind-looking nurse walks in with a clipboard in hand. Wearing dark blue scrubs, a low ponytail, and a surgical mask, she greets you with a friendly wave. She approaches your bedside opposite Jesse, and her glasses-covered eyes indicate a friendly smile. 

“Hi there,” She nods. “My name is Yoojin. I’m your nurse today. I’m so sorry for not being here when you woke up. I had to step out for a few seconds, but your brother here assured me that you were in capable hands.” 

You turn to Jesse and mouth in amusement, “Brother?” 

He suppresses a laugh. 

“Later.” He whispers through his mask. 

You turn to Yoojin with a small grin. 

“No worries. I only just woke up now.” You assure. 

She gives you, what you assume, is another smile under her mask. 

“So how are you feeling?” 

Jesse remained by your side the entire time, only leaving briefly when he needed to use the bathroom or take a call. He sympathized with your gripes about being bedridden, making lighthearted jokes about your catheter, messing around with the IPC devices off your legs over and over until a nurse came in and kindly asked him to stop. 

The TV in your room wasn’t working, so he kept you entertained, cracking his usual dad jokes and telling some old stories of Jackson you hadn’t heard yet. You pretended not to notice that the anecdotes he’d recall always excluded an essential person in his childhood, and you tried your best not to remark on it. 

After a couple of hours, Dina finally came around to visit. She walks in as you’re berating Jesse for stealing a fruit cup you knew you weren’t going to eat. The sight of her immediately warms your heart. 

“Dina!” You exclaim. “Oh, I missed you.” 

Dina sets her bag down next to Jesse, lowers her face mask for a moment to give him a quick peck on the cheek, and pulls up a chair next to him. She takes your hand and beams at you graciously. You notice that her eyes are slightly glassy. 

“Oh, babe,” She sighs. “I missed you too. Sorry that I’m just getting here. Had to deal with a few things before I came over.” 

“Don’t apologize, D. I’m just glad to see you.” 

She squeezes your hand softly. 

“I’m so glad you’re awake,” She gulps. “You worried us so much.” 

“Sorry about that,” You grin sheepishly. “I was being a bit of a dummy.” 

Dina blinks for a moment before giving Jesse a smack on the back of his head at this. 

“Oy vey. You asshole.” She chides knowingly. 

“Hey! No need to abuse me! I’m delicate.” 

He caresses the spot where she hit him as you laugh heartily. 

The couple recounts the events of last night for you, explaining in detail as much as they know. You listen without interruption until they reach the topic of your EpiPen. 

“But how’d you guys get to my EpiPen so quickly? Did you pass by my apartment?” You ask them curiously. “I don’t mind if you guys did! It’s just not that close to the restaurant. Wouldn’t have made much sense to book it back to my apartment, honestly.” 

Dina and Jesse share a look you don’t understand. Your eyebrows furrow, confused by their hesitation. Eventually, Dina responds. 

“Uh, well…” She begins slowly. “Jesse actually happened to have a spare EpiPen at his place. Thank god, right?” 

“You did?” You turn your head towards Jesse. “I didn’t even know you had one, Jesse.” 

“Y-yeah,” Dina continues cautiously as you notice Jesse’s expression shift to a poker face. “He used to have an, uh, egg allergy growing up.” 

“What?” You ask incredulously. 

“Yup,” Jesse chimes in. “I grew out of it when I was in high school. But my mom still insists that I have an EpiPen on me. Just in case.” 

You continue to look completely discombobulated. You don’t fully buy their story, especially since neither were looking you directly in the face. But you’ve always trusted Dina as a sister and Jesse like a brother, so you half-heartedly accept the tale they’ve decided to present you with. 

“Oh, okay,” You say, slightly unconvinced. “Well, thank god for that, I guess. Is it okay that you used it on me, though? What if you suddenly need it again?” 

“No worries,” Jesse assures you. “I’ll call my mom and ask her to send me a new one.” 

His poker face improves, so you concede for now. 

The couple continue to recount the previous day’s events until they eventually catch up to the present. 

“Only family is technically allowed to visit you in the ICU,” Dina confesses at one point. “Jesse had to say he’s your brother to get past the nurses' station. The nurse manning the desk at the time could definitely tell we were lying, but she was really nice and allowed it anyway.” 

“Oh, gotcha,” You say. “Well, you’re basically my brother, anyway.” 

“You should feel so lucky to share the same genes as me.” He boasts, stealthily avoiding yet another smack from Dina. 

“What about you, D?” You ask, turning towards her. “What did you say you were? My sister?” 

“Nah, I didn’t wanna be siblings with Jesse, even just as pretend.” She grimaces. 

“Okay, yeah, didn’t think of that,” You realize, scrunching up your nose in total disgust at the thought. “Gross.” 

“Wouldn’t be able to get that image out of my head.” Dina shudders. “Anyway, I told them that I’m your life partner.” 

“My what?” You giggle. 

“Hey, it counts!” Dina defends. “Well, kind of. The nurse had to list me as your ‘spouse’ instead, which feels like a hate crime.” 

“Oh, shut up.” You laugh as Jesse chuckles. 

“What? You don’t wanna be married to me?” Dina asks in mocking shock and offense. 

“I am absolutely honoured to be married to you,” You assure her. “I’m just worried about poor Jesse. How in the world are we supposed to break it to him that we’ve actually been married for over ten years?” 

“Oh, please, Jesse’s known from the start that he’s always just been a side piece.” 

“Hey!” Jesse interjects in indignance. “I’m right here.” 

“Be quiet, side piece. The wife and I are speaking.” Dina waves him off. 

You burst out into laughter at Jesse’s playfully hurt expression. 

The three of you discuss what the doctors have told you, and you eventually bring up the conditions required of you to be discharged. 

“I know that the doctors and nurses saved my life and whatever. And of course, I’m very grateful. And I truly do not mean any disrespect,” You say. “But I want to get the fuck out of here, uhh, right fucking now.” 

Dina smiles and Jesse chuckles. 

“I know, babe.” Dina sympathizes. 

“You’ll be out sooner than you know, bud,” Jesse adds. “Don’t stress over it. We’ll get you out as soon as possible.” 

“Oh!” Dina suddenly pipes up and reaches into her bag. “I can’t believe I forgot. I brought your phone. I was able to grab your purse for you before the paramedics took you away. I turned it off and charged it at home, so it should have some juice.” 

She places your phone in your hand, and you flash her a grateful smile. 

“D, you need to be canonized for your good deeds, I swear. With a statue and everything.” 

“Oh, I know,” Dina smirks. “Brought your wallet too. Not sure if you wanna keep it here or bring it back to your apartment, though.” 

“I’ll ask them if I can keep it here with me.” 

A thought suddenly hits you. 

“I’ll… I’ll have to figure out how to pay for all this when I get out.” You sigh. 

“Oh, babe,” Dina says reassuringly. “Don’t worry about any of that right now. Just focus on resting, okay?” 

“Your insurance will hopefully take care of a huge chunk of it,” Jesse contemplates. “It’s through your dad, right?” 

“That’s what I’m worried about,” You say as your hands begin to fidget anxiously. “Something as big as this, they’ll probably contact my parents. I… I can’t let them know I’m in here. I know it’ll start shit and… I just know it won’t be good.” 

The couple give you identical, concerned looks. 

“D-do they know? Th-that I’m in here?” You ask timidly. 

“Not that we know,” Jesse replies. “Neither of them is on your emergency contact list. And you know that Dina and I would never speak to either of them. Unless it’s to tell them to shove a stick up their respective asses.” 

You and Dina giggle. 

“Speaking of which,” Dina adds. “You can ask your uncle. I called him yesterday while you were still out. I hope that’s alright.” 

“Oh, that was so thoughtful of you,” You say gratefully. “What did he say? I hope he didn’t worry too much.” 

“Honey, you almost died. Of course, he’s worried. He loves you.” She checks the time on her phone. “He should be arriving sometime later today, actually.” 

“Shit,” You groan. “He didn’t have to do that. He gets so busy with work during this time of the year. This must have been so inconvenient—” 

Jesse suddenly takes his thumb and middle finger and flicks you on the forehead. 

“What the fuck!” You exclaim in indignance, rubbing the spot you were hit, as Dina gives him another hard smack on the head. Jesse ignores you both. 

“You are more important than any goddamn job that exists in the world, in the whole motherfucking galaxy. Your uncle loves you, just as we do. So no more complaining about it, dumbass.” 

You give him a pouty look, but his words fill your heart. 

Your best friends stay the rest of the time until your uncle arrives around midday. Relief and affection overwhelm you when he enters the room. You squeeze him with the tightest embrace you can possibly give for someone essentially strapped to their hospital bed. You ignore the loud beeping resulting from the tangling of your many IV wires. 

After your friends help you unravel all the cords, they gather their things and get up from their chairs. 

“We’ll let you guys talk.” Jesse says, offering his seat to your uncle. 

“Oh, you don’t have to leave.” Your uncle graciously assures them. 

“It’s alright; have some family time,” Jesse insists kindly. “I’m pretty sure she can only have two visitors at a time, anyway.” 

The couple make their way towards the sliding glass door. 

“I cannot express how grateful I am for you two,” Your uncle says before they exit. “Thank you for saving her life. And thank you for keeping me in the loop.” 

“Please, no need to thank us, really.” Dina nods kindly. “She’s family. We would do absolutely anything for her.” 

“That means you’re both family to me too.” Your uncle concludes. “Thank you.” 

You hold back tears of vast emotion from three of the most important people in your life exchanging such caring sentiments. You’ve never felt luckier. 

“We’ll be in the waiting room,” Jesse promises. “Let us know if either of you needs anything, okay?” 

Jesse and Dina take their leave, and your uncle subsequently takes a seat next to you. 

“Oh, Uncle,” You start before he can speak. “I’m so, so sorry. You shouldn’t have flown all this way. I can’t believe I was so stupid to have—” 

“Hey, hey,” Your uncle interjects. “None of that. You have no reason to be sorry. You needed me, so I’m here. I’m not mad, and this is not your fault.” 

Tears form in the corners of your eyes. 

“I just feel like I’ve inconvenienced so many people. If I could have just paid attention…” You lament. “And now I’ve totally made you drop everything to be here. I know you’ve still got work—” 

“You are a thousand times more important than my job, sweetheart.” He shakes his head and squeezes your hand, echoing Jesse’s previous words. 

“But…” 

“You are my family. Nothing is more important than that.” 

You smile at his adamancy. 

“And especially since losing Rafael,” He continues. “I think of you as my own.” 

“I know, Uncle.” 

You squeeze his hand back in affection. 

“D-did…” You suddenly say. “Did you tell—” 

“No, your mother and father don’t know a thing about this.” He answers insightfully. 

“Thank god.” 

“Did you want me to tell them?” 

You grimace. Your uncle chuckles. 

“I figured as much.” He surmises. 

“I just don’t know how to keep this from them forever, though,” You continue. “They’ll see it through the insurance company. I…” 

“Don’t worry about that. I can talk to the nurses later today before I leave, see if I can pay it in full myself without needing to use your father’s insurance.” 

“Uncle, please. Please don’t do that. This is going to be so costly, and you’ve still got your mortgage and Raf’s leftover student debt—” 

“I just want you to focus on getting better, alright? I don’t want anything else on your plate right now.” 

“Uncle, promise me. Please. Please promise me. Do not spend a single cent on this. I want to do this on my own. I’ll figure it out. Please promise me.” 

He gives you nothing more than a smile in response. 

Your friends and uncle take turns rotating as your company for the rest of the day. They’d only leave your side when the doctors and nurses needed to conduct extensive tests to ensure that you were still stable. You were never on your own for more than a few seconds, your loved ones determined that you not feel alone. 

You’d turned your phone on almost immediately after Dina’d handed it to you. But as a small, gracious gesture of appreciation, you had set it aside to give your visitors your undivided attention for the rest of the day. 

It wasn’t until the evening, when your friends and uncle waved you goodbye as visiting hours ended, that you allowed yourself to finally glance at your notifications. 

Anxiously picking your phone up, the first thought you have is to call Abby. Jesse and Dina had mentioned she was with them in the waiting room the night before. But, like your friends, she was informed that she wasn’t permitted to see you in the ICU as she wasn’t family. Dina and Jesse sent her home with the promise to let her know as soon as possible when you finally woke up and that you were alright. 

You notice that she’d messaged you earlier in the day. But much too embarrassed to face her just yet, you decide instead to first call your old freshman roommate. 

Tara picks up after only two rings, almost as if she’d been waiting by the phone for your call. She greets you with a happy shriek of your full name, an amused giggle escaping your lips as a response to her sudden enthusiasm. 

“Thank fucking god!!! I’ve been waiting all fucking day to hear the sound of your voice!” 

“Umm, I have no idea what you’re talking about,” You reply, smirking. “This is actually Satan, here to leave a message. I’m calling to let you know that I will be collecting your mortal soul sometime during the next 24 hours.” 

“Oh nooooo,” Tara plays along. “What on earth have I done to warrant eternal damnation, Miss Satan?” 

“Not sure if you know, but homosexuality is actually a cardinal sin. And unfortunately, you seem to be a notorious, flaming homosexual. I know, I know; it’s quite disappointing. But alas, I do not make the rules.”  

“But Miss Satan, are you not a homosexual too?” 

“Well, that’s exactly how I know it’s a sin.” 

The two of you crackle at each other’s banter, and you make plans in your head to spend more time with Tara and the rest of the girls after you’re released from the hospital. 

You and Tara chat for a little while about the most mundane things, like her classes the day before and her plans for the weekend. She apologizes for not having more to say and for “being so boring,” but you’re genuinely happy to just hear her prattle off about anything. 

At some point, she hands her phone over to Astrid, who greets you with a similarly delighted shriek that her girlfriend had received you with prior. She gushes over you with love and concern, insisting that she and all the Wilson girls come to visit you as soon as you’re out and adjusted. 

“Tara just about broke down when I told her about it.” She reveals. “She was about to leave for her shift at Ruston’s when Dina called, and I’m pretty sure the whole dorm could hear her sobbing.” 

“What?! I did not!” You hear Tara shout from a short distance. 

“You had so much snot running down from your nose that I just about hosed your face down before you left!” Astrid yells back. 

“Stop telling her that! She doesn’t need to hear all that!!” 

You giggle at the couple’s repartee. 

“Anyway,” Astrid continues. “Kris, Sid, and I tried to come down for a visit, but they apparently only let family in. Jesse and Dina seemed to have monopolized the fake roles of being your family already.” 

“Yeah, sorry about that, Addy.” 

“Oh, don’t be sorry,” She brushes off. “I’m just glad that you haven’t been alone there. Those two really care about you, you know.” 

“Yeah, I know.” 

“Dina started to make a whole fuss when they wouldn’t let us past,” Astrid continues. “Threatened to sue the nurses, all the doctors, the entire hospital. The receptionist nurse didn’t even get a chance to kick her out ‘cause Jesse himself forced her to go leave and take a walk to calm down. I don’t think she came back until a couple of hours later.” 

“Yeah, that sounds like our Dina.” You snort. 

The two of you discuss what you’d like to do whenever you finally get released, Astrid swearing to get you out of your apartment nearly every day after your discharge. 

“I don’t think I have all the stamina for all that, babe.” You chuckle. 

“Then you better get yourself to the gym with Jesse, and build that stamina the fuck up! I want your sexy self at parties and clubs, living your best 20s life with us!” 

You chuckle warily at this, simultaneously pushing away the reminder of who Jesse’s daily workout partner is. 

After saying your goodbyes to Tara and Astrid, you make brief calls to the rest of the girls of the Wilson Crew. They all answer your calls with an assortment of jubilant greetings, each girl expressing their elation and gratefulness that you’re finally awake and safe. 

You send individual texts of love to Dina, Jesse, and your uncle, thanking them extensively for coming to your aid and expressing your excitement to see them again very soon. 

Having done your rounds of gratitude, you finally acknowledge that you can no longer ignore the unread texts of the blonde-braided woman you’d had your near-fatal dinner with. You open up your message thread with Abby to see that she’d sent you only three texts earlier in the day. 

You stare at her text. 

Oh. Huh. 

No part of you blamed Abby for the incident; in fact, you’d been feeling a tremendous amount of remorse for putting her through such a traumatizing and jarring ordeal. It had been plaguing you so much since you woke up that you were far too embarrassed to ask Jesse and Dina more about her. 

But something about her texts bothers you. There was very little warmth and familiarity in her messages. Her words didn’t seem that of the woman who had been walking you to your classes every day, who showed you off to her friends at the Bow and the Arrow, who treated you to a lavish restaurant on a fancy date. Who kissed you with so much passion on the sidewalk of that same restaurant the evening before. 

Is… Is she angry with me? 

You continue to stare at her strange messages for several more minutes, unable to process the situation you’re somehow in now. You can’t think of an appropriate response that would lead to something honest, so you decide to put your response off. 

A-at least until after they release me… At least until I get home… 

The doctors only began to discuss the possibility of your discharge early Sunday morning. Though it hadn’t even been a full two days since your admittance, it took everything in you not to practically beg them to let you go. You’d been insisting to anyone who’d listen that you were completely fine, that you’d walk right out yourself if you weren’t strapped to your bed with a million wires. 

It wasn’t until midday, as you were mercilessly beating Jesse’s Shy Guy as Pink Gold Peach in Mario Kart, that Yoojin walked into your room with good news. You don’t notice her at first, too busy taunting Jesse for landing in 7th place while you scored 1st. 

“You only won because I got Lakitu’d in the second lap! Fuckin’ Isabelle was sending red shells at me nonstop…” Jesse gripes. 

“Sucks. Sounds like a personal problem, man.” You shrug. 

“Alright, I want a rematch, but on the Egg course this time.” 

“You’re such a sore fucking loser!” 

“There’s a shortcut on Yoshi’s circuit close to where the finish line is, by the way,” Yoojin interjects, eyes smiling. “If you use a mushroom and drift to the hidden waterfall on the right, it’ll get you pretty far ahead.” 

You and Jesse look up, a bit sheepish at her witnessing your juvenile behaviour. The nurse looks completely unbothered by it, however, and she approaches your bed as you place your controller down. 

“Aww, come on, Yoojin,” You whine. “Don’t tell him that! I’m on a winning streak!” 

“Shh,” Jesse shushes you, attempting to cover your face with one hand. “Don’t listen to her, Yoojin. She’s delirious from all the drugs you’ve been pumping her with. I must know all your secrets, ‘cause I swear, this one is cheating.” 

“Maybe later,” Yoojin laughs as you flick Jesse’s forehead. “Because you might want to hear what your doctor just told me.” 

Your ears perk up at this. 

“I can go home?” 

“Your most recent labs just came back, and everything looks good.” Yoojin nods. “And your vitals have been stable for the last 24 hours. So unless you plan on wolfing down ten pounds of shrimp sometime before leaving, we can get started on getting you released sometime later today.” 

Your face breaks out in a huge smile, and you turn to grasp Jesse’s arm. 

“Dude! I can go home!” You exclaim. 

“Yes, I heard,” Jesse says. You can feel his smirk through his face mask. “Finally.” 

You turn back to Yoojin. 

“I can go right now?” You ask. 

“It’ll take a couple of hours to make sure everything’s set for your discharge,” Yoojin says, chuckling at your eagerness. “But just hang tight, and you’ll be out of here in no time.” 

“Why don’t you guys settle things here while I go tell your uncle?” Jesse offers. 

Your uncle had stepped out to get some lunch at the hospital’s food court not too long ago. He and Jesse had arrived on the dot when visiting hours began earlier in the day. Dina had accompanied them but left shortly after to take care of other obligations, promising to be right back the second she was done. 

“Oh, that’d be great,” You say. “Thanks, Jess.” 

“No worries, bud. I’ll be right back.” 

He gives you a pat on the head before leaving you alone with the nurse. 

“So before you leave, we’ll go over a few things to make sure you don’t suddenly relapse during the next few days,” Yoojin begins. “And we’ll make sure you go home with a couple of new, unexpired EpiPens, just in case.” 

You nod as she goes on to explain the plans for your discharge. You listen attentively, determined not to end up back in the hospital like this again. As Yoojin wraps up, you work yourself up to ask her a question that’s been at the tip of your tongue since the beginning of the conversation. 

“Hey, umm, before you go,” You mutter nervously. “I wanted to ask about how much all of this will cost me. I-I know it’ll be pricey and all, especially with two brand new EpiPens, so I just want to be prepared.” 

“That’s not really something I can help you with,” Yoojin replies apologetically. “That’s the jurisdiction of the hospital’s billing department. But I’m sure you can get it all settled with your insurance after you’ve been released. Depending on what you have, they should cover most of it.” 

You give her a tentative smile as you wring your blanket between your fingers. 

“A-alright then.” You sigh defeatedly. 

It takes about two hours for you to finally be released from all your restraints and another hour until you’re finally walking out of the hospital and into the sunny parking lot. Yoojin allowed you a quick embrace before you left, insisting that you promise to be much more careful from here on out. 

You lean against your uncle and Jesse for support as you exit the hospital’s automatic sliding doors, legs still a little shaky after being bedridden for so long. Dina pulls up next to you in her car and gets out to open the passenger door. 

“M’lady.” She says with a bow, gesturing to the seat. 

“Shut up, D.” You laugh, rolling your eyes. 

“You sure you’ve got everything?” Your uncle inquires. 

“I think so,” You reply. “Didn’t really bring anything with me.” 

“Alright, well, I’ll head to my hotel room first so I can take care of a few things. I’ll meet the three of you at your apartment sometime later today. Sound good?” 

You, Jesse, and Dina all nod in unison. Before he walks away, you wrap your arms around him in a tight hug. 

“Thank you so much, Uncle,” You murmur. “It means so much to me that you came.” 

“Anything for you, sweetheart. Anything at all.” 

He gives you a quick squeeze before releasing you, promising he won’t take very long before walking away towards his rental car. 

“So,” Dina chimes. “Wanna grab some gross, greasy non-hospital food on the way home?” 

 When you finally cross the threshold of your apartment, you’d already wolfed down the majority of your fries along with half a chocolate milkshake. You collapse onto your couch with a relieved sigh, your best friends falling next to you on either side. You lean your head onto Dina’s shoulder as you take her hand between both of yours. 

“I think I’m about to go into the world’s longest food coma.” You decree. 

“I’m right alongside you, dude.” Jesse agrees, having devoured one and a half burgers himself on the way. 

“No comas, please, or we’re gonna have to turn right back around and readmit you into that hospital.” Dina says. 

“Never again, please,” You beg. “If I have to hear the nonstop beeping of a heart monitor for one more second, I’m going into straight-up fight-or-flight mode.” 

Your friends chuckle. 

“Alright,” Jesse eventually says as he sits up straighter. “Now that you’ve been freed, what do you want to do first?” 

You hum as you ponder his question. 

“Get so blackout drunk that I totally forget this entire experience ever even happened in the first place?” You offer. 

“Right, well, perhaps we can do something that isn’t completely stupid and detrimental to your health. Especially after you were just in the hospital after almost dying.” Dina retorts. 

You boo her as Jesse chuckles. 

“Well,” You continue. “I guess I should tell the girls I’m finally out. I promised them I would. Or did you guys say anything to them already?” 

“Not yet,” Dina says. “They’ll probably want to hear it from you.” 

You groan. 

“You’re right. Ugh. I don’t think I can handle the sheer amount of screaming and excitement that’ll come with it, though. Kris sounded like she was going to smother me with so much love that I’d suffocate from it.” 

“You can always put it off, at least until tomorrow.” Jesse counters. 

“I guess so. You think they’ll be mad?” 

“Babe,” Dina says, squeezing your hands and rolling her eyes. “You almost died. I think they’ll survive a day.” 

“Alright, alright,” You giggle. “I probably should focus on getting work done before class tomorrow, anyway.” 

“Ma’am, I know you are not thinking of going to your classes right after you were just in the hospital all weekend.” Jesse scolds sternly. 

“I’m fine!” 

“Dear lord.” Jesse sighs, exasperated. 

“Like I said,” Dina repeats. “You almost died. School is not a priority right now. You need to be resting, not writing essays and doing homework.” 

“I don’t want to fall behind!” 

“Didn’t your doctor give you a school note before we left earlier? She said you can give it to your professors to excuse you from your classes this week.” 

“Yeah, but it’s not mandatory or anything. I’m fully recovered now, so it just seems totally unnecessary.” 

“Like hell it is!” Dina bellows before releasing your hands to stand up from the couch. You fall flat on your face onto her spot when her shoulder disappears from under your head, and you muffle irritated curses into the couch cushion. You look up to see she’s disappeared momentarily into your bedroom. 

“D… What are you doing?” 

Dina reemerges after a few seconds, your laptop in her hands. 

“Babe. What’d you get that for?” You ask suspiciously. 

“I’m emailing all of your professors myself to tell them that you will not be attending any of your classes this week. Especially since it seems that you want to be such a stubborn dumbass about it…” Dina says matter-of-factly, shoving your head away from her spot on the couch to sit beside you once more. 

“Never should have given you my password.” You grumble as Dina opens up your laptop and easily bypasses your lockscreen. 

“Alright, who are all your professors again?” She asks, opening up your browser to access your email. 

“I’m not telling you!” You reply stubbornly, crossing your arms. 

“Hmm… I know she’s got Olinick’s double class on Tuesdays and Thursdays, Mulligan at least on Mondays—” Jesse lists, counting your professors on one hand. 

“No, no, no, I don’t!” You turn towards him, shoving your hands in his face. 

“—I think Joslin from the English department too, but I can’t remember if that was last year or this year.” 

“Jesse!” 

By the time your uncle arrives at your apartment, you’d conceded to your best friends and allowed them to draft an excuse email to all of your professors. Dina opens the door for him after he knocks while you make final edits to your letters, and he settles into the ratty, secondhand armchair right next to the couch. 

Your uncle chuckles at the scene before him: you with a focused look on your face typing rapidly on your laptop, Jesse leaning back into the couch while gently patting the top of your head as he continued to make suggestions to your email, and DIna taking her seat right back next to you before kicking her feet onto your lap as you lift and place your laptop on top of her legs. It had been a while since your uncle had seen you so relaxed around other people, the last time being right before your freshman year of college. His fondness for your best friends quickly grows by the second. 

You look up from your work for a moment to smile warmly at your uncle, and he returns it with one of his own. 

“Hi, Uncle! Sorry, I’m just finishing up this email to my professors.” 

“No need to apologize, sweetheart. You telling them you won’t be attending any classes this week?” 

“Yup,” Jesse answers for you. “Took a lot of bullying on our part to convince her not to overwork herself with school right now.” 

“This dummy wanted to go back to classes right away as if nothing happened.” Dina rolls her eyes as she extracts a foot from underneath your laptop to kick you softly, earning her a stern “Hey, hey, hey!” from you. 

“Well, thank goodness she has you two to set her straight.” Your uncle chuckles. 

“Oh, she’s absolutely lost without us.” Jesse says, continuing to pat the top of your head. 

Your uncle smiles. He can tell that Jesse’s joking around, but he knows that the couple have both been selflessly keeping you alive for the past few years. 

“So how are you feeling?” Your uncle continues with concern etched on his face. 

“Not so bad,” You admit. “Just so glad to be among civilians once again.” 

You feel Jesse rub your upper back kindly. 

“I’m sure,” Your uncle smiles kindly. “How about we talk about what you’re going to do now that you’re out?” 

The four of you discuss what the next, post-hospital visit steps would be. They remind you of the check-up appointment you have later in the week, caution you once more about what foods you need to constantly be looking out for, and double-check that you have your new EpiPens handy and within constant reach. 

“I still have my current EpiPen in the bathroom,” You say. “It hasn’t lapsed yet. So maybe I can give you each of the ones they sent me home with, if that isn’t too much of an inconvenience to either of you guys?” 

You turn towards Dina then Jesse. 

“You sure?” Jesse asks. 

“Yeah, I mean, I obviously don’t want something like this to happen again. But if, by some hideous trick of fate, I end up in a repeat situation, it might be smart to just have one in multiple places. Just to cover my bases, I guess.” 

“I don’t mind at all,” Dina nods. “As long as you have easy access to one at all times.” 

“Yeah, that was my thinking too,” You agree. “Plus, I don’t want to have to use one of yours again, Jess.” 

“Mm, I guess.” Jesse hums. 

Your eyes meet his and you once again recognize his poker face. 

“That sounds like a good plan,” Your uncle agrees. “Let’s try not to rely on just luck next time around.” 

You give him an apologetic smile. 

The sun had been set for at least an hour when Dina and Jesse finally took their leave. Both offer to stay the night, in case you suddenly need either of them, but you assure them that you’ll survive one night alone just fine. You embrace each of them tightly, putting every ounce of gratitude you have into your hugs. 

You settle back onto the couch after you see them both out the door, and you turn towards your uncle still sitting in the armchair. 

“I know I’ve said this probably a hundred times the past day or so,” You begin. “But thank you for coming, Uncle.” 

“I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if I didn’t come,” He replies. “Neither would Raf if he was still around.” 

You both share a sad smile. 

“I miss him, Uncle…” You whisper suddenly. 

“I know. I do too.” 

You sigh before continuing. 

“I wish he was still here. I feel… I feel so incomplete without him around. Like this has all been an awful nightmare that I have yet to wake up from.” 

“I know just what you mean,” Your uncle laments. “But our lives still go on, sweetheart. I think it’d make him sad to see us grieving him for the rest of our lives.” 

“But… it just feels so wrong. It feels so wrong to stop grieving for him, to move on from him.” 

“It’s not exactly moving on from him,” Your uncle ponders. “It’s more like… We make a place for him in our hearts. It’s sort of like he becomes a part of us. He’ll always be in everything we do.” 

Your eyes well up as a childhood memory floods your thoughts. 

When you were eleven years old, you had your first anaphylactic experience. You and Rafael were hanging out at his house, your uncle at work all day. You were making a mess in the kitchen, developing concoctions with half the contents of the pantry. As you were dumping a bag of marshmallows into a blender full of graham crackers and banana slices, Rafael fished an old bag of chips out of one of the cabinets. 

The writing on the bag was all in a language you couldn’t understand, but the superheroes on the front seemed to be enjoying the crunchy snack. Raf was tearing the bag open before your greasy fingers started grabbing at its contents. 

It didn’t even take two minutes until Rafael realized something was wrong. You were annoyed and taken aback when he slapped the chips out of your hand. It wasn’t until he was hauling you to the garage and strapping you into the passenger seat that you began to feel dizzy. By the time Rafael had driven to the emergency room, your skin had broken out into hives and your throat felt completely swollen. The last thing that you remembered before blacking out was your faithful cousin scooping you up and sprinting to the emergency room’s entrance. 

You didn’t hear the end of it from your parents when you’d woken up from being unconscious after a couple of hours. Your mother spared no shame in relentlessly admonishing you, regardless of who was in the room, for your “stupidity.” The doctors and nurses offered you continuous looks of pity as they had to witness your many verbal lashings, though none stepped in to interfere. You were blamed for inconveniencing the family, for forgetting your EpiPen at home, for “forcing” Rafael to drive a car when he didn’t have his driver’s license yet, for obligating your parents to pay for your medical bills. 

From that day on, your fear of your parents’ wrath was far greater than the fear of possibly falling prey to your fatal allergy. 

All that gave you hope was your uncle and cousin coming to your defense. Unlike your parents, they showered you with care and love, especially Rafael who felt guilty and responsible for your admission. They nursed you back to health after you were released, Rafael promising you that he’d never let it happen to you again. 

 “Can I tell you something, Uncle?” You ask. “I didn’t even tell Jesse or Dina this. And I don’t think I ever could.”  

“You never even have to ask, sweetheart. You know you can tell me anything.” 

“I…” You gulp. “There was a point… while I was in the ICU that I was a little lucid for a few moments…” 

You wring your fingers together in uneasiness as you stare down at your lap, unable to meet your uncle’s eyes. 

“I… I didn’t know what was happening to me. I didn’t know I was going through anaphylaxis again. But I just knew… I felt that something was wrong with me.” 

Your uncle listens to you intently, his chin on his hands folded as if he were praying. 

“Something inside me… Somehow, I knew that I was dying,” You continue. “Or I knew that at that moment, I could die. I could keep going… or I could choose to let my body give out completely.” 

You finally meet your uncle’s gaze. 

“And I wanted to. I wanted to just… go,” You confess. “Not in a s-suicidal way. Not exactly, at least.” 

Your eyes fill with thick tears. 

“But… I wanted to be with him again. I knew that if I gave in, if I succumbed to whatever was killing me, I would see him again.” 

Your bottom lip shakes as you continue. 

“I miss him so f-fucking much, Uncle. I don’t know how to go on without him around. I’m so l-lost and confused, and all I want to do is talk to h-him about it. But I can’t. There’s n-nobody else in this world that I’ve ever felt as close to as him. Maybe except—” 

You break off before you can finish, shaking off the memory of ocean green eyes and a constellation of freckles. The look on your uncle’s face tells you that he already knows how your sentence was going to end, but he says nothing. 

“He told me he’d never let anything happen to me. He was always supposed to be here with me,” You sob. “I know that’s selfish. I know that his life didn’t revolve around me. But so much of mine did. I planned… I built my life to always include him. Now what the hell am I supposed to do?” 

Your uncle’s sad eyes watch as you roughly wipe your cheeks of the tears uncontrollably streaming down. 

“Sweetheart…” Your uncle begins as he stands up from the armchair to sit next to you on the couch. “You are not selfish. I know how much he meant to you. How much he still means to you.” 

He takes your hands between his. 

“I just…” You sniffle. “It’s been years. I thought I’d healed from it already. I thought I’d moved past all the pain.” 

“It’s not a continuous thing, dealing with your grief.” Your uncle smiles softly. “You’ll have moments, hard ones where it’ll all feel raw and fresh again. It doesn’t mean you’re weak or selfish. You just have your own way of handling your sadness.” 

You nod in acknowledgement of his words. 

“But I think we both owe it to Raf to live our lives, to be happy without him around,” He continues. “His gift to us was time. Time with him and great memories. Even if he’s no longer with us, we’ll continue to carry that gift with us wherever we go.” 

Your uncle smiles and you return it, though wistfully. 

“I’m very grateful that you trusted me to share this with me,” Your uncle begins. “But don’t be afraid to talk about this with your friends. Especially those two.” 

“Jesse and Dina?” 

He nods. 

“I see just how much they love you,” Your uncle says. “They seem like they would do absolutely anything for you. And I am so grateful that you have people like that in your life.” 

“Yeah, they… mean so much to me.” 

“I’m glad. So, please. If I’m not around, don’t be afraid to confide in those two. I’m sure if the roles were reversed, you’d do the same for them.” 

“I’d do absolutely anything for them.” 

“Exactly. So don’t be afraid to embrace the love in your life. You deserve that. And that’s exactly what Rafael would want for you.” 

You throw your arms around your uncle and sob into his shoulder. 

You and your uncle continue to talk for a while until you realize that it’s nearly midnight. Like your friends, he offers to stay the night in case you need him. But you know his flight home was only in a few short hours, so you insist that he go back to his hotel to get a bit of sleep before he needs to leave for the airport. 

It took everything in you not to beg him to stay, but you couldn’t bear troubling him further. And you longed to finally have some time to yourself, so you put on a brave face.  

After your many assurances that you would take care of yourself better, you walk him to your front door. When you open it up, you both notice a simple brown box with a thin bow placed on top of your doormat. You pick it up, noticing how light it feels in your hands. 

“What is this?” You mutter. 

“You got a package?” Your uncle asks, looking at the box. 

“No… I didn’t order anything.” 

“Strange. Maybe your friends Dina and Jesse left it for you.” He offers. 

“I… I guess,” You frown. “Although, I don’t really know why they wouldn’t just give it to me when they were here earlier.” 

“Hmm, that’s true,” He hums, squinting his eyes at it. “A secret admirer, perhaps?” 

“Ha ha, Uncle. Very funny.” 

You give him an amused grimace before untying the bow and removing the lid. You gasp as you recognize what it contains. 

“Oh…” 

You drop the box and embrace its previous contents. 

“My Barbie Bear…” 

author's notes:

thank y'all so much for you patience waiting for this new chapter to come out. i literally wrote like, half of this while in the psych ward, and that was all the way in decemeber sldkfjlsdk

tbh i meant this chapter to be a lot shorter than it turned out to be but lskdjfs more content for y'all ig!

reader's first words after waking up is inspired by me saying, "i need to poop so bad" when the doctors were busy working on me in the emergency room lmaoooo

silver lining of me being in the icu back in december is being able to describe it in detail in this chapter hehe. being in the icu suuuuucked but mostly cause it was boring and cold and i wasn't allowed to get up to pee!!!

the nurse yoojin is named after one of my nurses while i was in the hospital. i loveddddd her, she was such a sweetheart and it made me so happy whenever she was assigned to me. i was rewatching arcane while i was in the hospital, and she saw and asked me about it, and then we gabbed about the show and league of legends (cause she religiously plays the game but hasn't watched arcane yet), and i eventually convinced her to actually watch the show heeeheee

reader’s uncle saying he sees reader as his own is what uncle iroh says to zuko in atla, fun little easter egg heehee (you know me and my love for easter eggs)

reader greeting tara on the phone as satan was how i first greeted my best friend when i was finally able to call her through the public phone in the psych ward (hi rhi LOL)

pink gold peach is my main in mario kart lol

reader's professors mentioned are all named after old professors from my former college's theatre department (rip dennis, miss you always ❤️)

reader’s uncle telling her “we make a place for him in our hearts” in regards to rafael is what tara in buffy the vampire slayer says to dawn when their mom dies (can you tell i love btvs)

working on the next chapter asap, lmk what you think of this chapter in the meantime!

also i made an ao3, so if you wanna read on there too, check it out!

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Part of their Family (Slender mansion x Reader Chapter 1)

something something... finally getting into writing that interactive longfic ive been wanting to do for a few months! not every chapter, but hopefully a lot of chances at the end of a chapter for you guys to determine what the reader does next! this will be crossposted on ao3 as well, so readers there will also have an influence on what choices the reader makes! you guys only get one shot, not going to bother with creating a whole tree network to do several routes... so make your choice count! notes: gn human reader, youre kind of going through it, youve only been here a week and you dont really wanna stay, THIS CHAPTER HAS A CHOICE TO BE MADE AT THE END, mostly an introduction chapter... STATE YOUR CHOICE IN THE COMMENTS! Word count: 4.7k CWs: general expected topics, blood and death even if its not as intense as itll be later one

This was wrong in every sense of the word. 

Not only should you not be alive right now, but you shouldn’t be lying here in a bed that wasn’t yours last week. The mattress was still covered in basic bedding- black with grey accented comforters. Pillows that were too soft- unused- and covered in plain black cases. The room barely looked lived in. Except… that wasn’t entirely true. Tiny holes where nails and thumbtacks once held postered and pictures showed a vague past of someone living here before you. Where they had gone, however… 

Your hands feel uncomfortably warm as they drag over your face in an attempt to force the dizziness from your eyes as your blurred gaze tries to map out the texture of the ceiling in an attempt to self soothe. It did nothing for you. 

The transition of running with screaming sirens and blasting lights tailing you into the woods- to the tense but otherwise calmer atmosphere that took place just downstairs… it all blurred together- and if you hadn’t just seen the residents of this place nearly everyday for the past week you’d have thought they were all a twisted concoction crafted by your brain as it melted in its stew of adrenaline and stress. You couldn’t even recall what you managed to say to not get jumped by everyone in the living room. Only the Lord knew that- knives and claws still hung in the back of your mind. The hours following were a blur.

You were shown up to your “new room”, and given names to tack onto faces… names you still struggled to recall. 

A place where killers- human and monster- found shelter. It wasn’t a home. The pieces of information you managed to snag onto on your hundredth attempt to backtrack offered you that much. 

People came. People left. Some stayed long term, some making it their permanent home- some mansion in the middle of the woods. How it hadn’t been discovered by outsiders wasn’t brushed on as far as you could recall. The odds of you finding it while stumbling around in the dark were still greater than the odds of you bullshitting your way into making them believe you were just like them.

The limp hand by your head still had dried blood stuck under your nails. You hadn’t had the will to pick the flakes out. Just looking at the brownish red buildup made your skin crawl. 

You were just like them, even if for just a moment. 

Finally with a strangled huff you shove yourself up off of the bed and trudged to the bathroom connected to your- no, not your room- the room. Inside was just as plain as the bedroom was. There was no personalization, and only the bare minimum was there. Hygiene products and towels- no brands were visible. In fact there were zero labels on any of the bottles… and you’ve yet to take the time to figure out what was what. You had cornered yourself in the room for the past seven days to go over what your next plan was. The only time you left was to briefly scope out the mansion’s layout- doing your best to avoid being spotted by its residents. 

The water is turned all the way to the left to heat it- steam fogging the mirror in front of you. Maybe that was for the best- you didn’t look like yourself. Your eyes were sunken and held dark circles under them, and you were in desperate need for a shower. Food was the last thing on your mind, and sitting down at the table with… everyone… didn’t sit right with you. The heat of the water doesn’t fully register as you tuck your fingers under the faucet- what was hopefully soap squeezed onto your hand… It felt very much like lotion instead. The lack of lather and bubbles confirmed that. Not that you fully noticed.

The mix up was the least of your worries as you worked your nails under each other to pick the blood out- scraping them against the inside of your palm to at least try to work the not-soap underneath. 

You couldn’t stay here, but you couldn’t leave either. The moment you stepped into town you’d be caught. The surrounding towns probably weren’t safe, either… not to mention in the heat of everything you left everything behind. Not just your life, but your possessions as well. You silently cursed your town for not having a proper bus system. At least then you could have put some quick distance between here and literally anywhere else. 

The scratching of your nails against your palm intensified near to tearing through your skin- you probably would have ripped your hand right open if it weren’t for the sudden sharp knock on the bedroom’s door. 

Two quick knocks… a pause, and then a third knock. 

Whatever was put on your hands was rinsed away under the water. A quick survey of your nails revealed that you only got a little more than half the gunk out from under them. 

That’s all it was now- gunk. Your hands nearly froze against the cooler air as you shook the remaining droplets off of you. With still damp hands you run them through your hair to at least try to make it… neater. 

Initially convincing everyone in this house that you were a killer on the loose like them was one thing. It was the truth, afterall.

But convincing them that it was something you wanted and aimed for was a totally different thing. Most weren’t nosy enough to ask for the details. But a particular pair of men seemed to want all the details. A burned man, and a clown- their names currently escaping you. 

Their eagerness was enough to instantly turn you away. No effort was made on your end to run into them- despite the clown’s continuous efforts to stop you by the door to interrogate you on your favorite candies. 

The pile of which still sat untouched at a small desk set up in the corner. 

Another quick series of knocks pulls you out of your current stream of thoughts.

Your hand moves forward to the knob- dampened skin sticking slightly to the curve of it. The grip shifts and the sound of flesh pulling away a split second later… only slightly drowned out against the dull settling of the building. Someone was moving on the other side of the door judging by the soft creak of the wooden floor. With clenching teeth you draw in a slow breath- and a halfhearted attempt to relax your jaw that failed- and pull the door open. 

The burned man stood on the other side- and even with a face that struggled to convey intended emotions… he looked irritated. The fact he didn’t pound on your door like he had the other morning when he was sent to fetch you for breakfast was a surprise that slipped right past you. Unlike you, he looked like he had just woken up. The gashes in his cheek showed his jaw was just as tense as yours as his teeth grinded together. 

“‘Bout fuckin time,” He hissed- nearly clicking his teeth together as he side stepped. His sunken eyes darted across your weary frame. “You look like shit.” 

The distorted nostrils that stretched across his face flexed. “You smell like shit.” He muttered as he shoved his hands into the pockets of his black sweats. 

You grit your teeth and force a smile. Even though he was probably right, there was something in the way he looked at you that irked you. 

“Morning to you too-” You trail off. What was his name again?

It started with a J- at least… you think it did. There were multiple people with names that start with J.

James? Jay? John? 

“-Jim,” You spit out before the pause dragged out for too long. The man’s teeth clicked again to form a scoff as his face scrunched as best as it could. 

“You think you’re fuckin funny huh?” He hissed as he turned on his heel and began to sulk off to the stairs down the hall. “It’s Jeff,” He added- nearly barking over his shoulder. He wasn’t going to wait for you to follow. It seemed that he had already just about done what he was sent to do. He mutters something under his breath- before speaking up again. “Food’s downstairs.” 

Jeff.

Right. 

Jeff stomps down the stairs. 

You shift the awkward lump around in your throat- and hope that following after an already angry killer wouldn’t draw attention to you. 

It did. 

At least, your presence itself drew attention. You hadn’t actually come downstairs to the table to eat with everyone else yet. If you could you would skip this meal just to stay away but hunger can push people to do things they wouldn’t normally do… maybe a meal could cure the brain fog currently plaguing your mind- and as soon as you were recovered you could come up with a plan. A real plan. 

The chatter at the table dies for a moment before slowly picking back up. 

Thirteen people sat at the table. Fourteen plates were set across it. There were two empty spaces. 

An empty seat roughly in the middle between the massive clown- who’s plate was overflowing with candy- and Jeff already glaring down into his food as he made work on his breakfast. Sitting across was…

Helen you believed. The name in particular sticking thanks to it being, at least in your mind, nontraditional for a man. His plate caught your eye. Almost arranged in the same way as food influencers on your phone’s feed set their meals. 

In an odd way you missed endlessly scrolling the internet and watching the world turn to shit. You missed seeing people cook eggs for their ramen and arrange the bowl nicely for the camera. You never got the chance to do that despite saving countless videos on a phone that was now God knows where. 

The other spare seat was towards the lower end- at the very end actually. Your neighbors would have been a masked woman who didn’t partake in any of the table’s conversation… and a tall lanky creature in a polka dotted suit; who was currently cutting up pancakes for the little girl who would be sitting across from you. 

Sally. You remembered her name too. It was hard to forget her after she nearly hounded you- running as fast as her short legs could carry her- the second she saw you leave your room one evening to map out the mansions layout. She wanted to play a game- and was more than a little disappointed when you rejected her.

You almost felt… bad. Staring at the back of her cracked head made your guts twist in a sad sort of way. Killer or not, she had to have been here for a reason. 

“EJ’s not coming down again?” Someone piped up- her face carried scars nearly identical to Jeffs. Her singular visible eye fixed right on you- a quick smile was flashed your way- before her gaze darted around you. 

“Said he’s not hungry.” Jeff grumbled through a mouthful of egg. No further questioning on the missing party. 

The creature cutting Sally’s pancakes turned to you- a quiet thank you from the girl reminding you that his name was Splendor. 

“Why don’t you sit next to me this morning, Dear?”

Splendor’s voice was warm and carried a sort of softness to it. A stark contrast to the growl Jeff had served you with just a minute ago…and you’d rather sit next to the eight foot tall cryptid than him at the moment. Splendor’s mouth widened as you took a half step towards him- followed by another. Delaying your short journey to the table would only draw attention. 

“I’m glad you’ve decided to join us this morning, you must be starving,” He commented as you pulled your chair close to the table.

Everyone else had already served themselves. Most had regular morning meals consisting of eggs and a meat side of some sort. Potatoes and berries. Cereal and milk were set on the table as well as slices of toast and various spreads. Juices and water were available as well. 

You couldn’t help it. You were taken aback from the sheer variety in front of you. How and where they got the food couldn’t even begin to be fathomed. Everything looked so fresh- and just like the bottles in the bathroom, the items that were still in packaging had no real labels or brands slapped onto them. It looked almost too cartoonishly generic- like it had just spawned in. 

The sudden sickly churn of your stomach demanded that you finally put something in it. 

“Slenderman didn’t know how you liked your eggs so you get scrambled like me!” Sally suddenly piped up as Splendor presented a small bowl of said eggs to you. 

Your eyes dart to the faceless man seated at the head of the table. He had no plate set in front of him. Even just looking at him made your head feel fuzzy. Your eyes are torn back to the eggs. 

“If they don’t like eggs I can always spare ‘em some candy,” The clown snickered between sharp teeth. 

“I don’t know how you can stand eating so much sugar… I know that’s like your thing Jack, but,” A goggle wearing man cut in. Nina plucked a purple wrapped candy from Jack’s plate. The goggled man made a face. 

You silently take the eggs from Splendor to rid him of the burden of hovering the bowl in the air in front of you. The chatter is tuned out as you build a plate for yourself. Eggs. Some fruit. Water, of course. Your tongue stuck uncomfortably to the walls of your mouth. Splendor was more than eager to fetch whatever you had eyed for more than a few seconds. A word of thanks clunkily fell from your lips as he served you. 

All things considered, as long as you ignored the odd appearances of everyone at the table… the moment felt normal. Groggy small talk of those who had just woken up floats lazily through the air as plans for the day are made. Silverware clinks against glass plates and cups clack to the table- save for the light plastic one that Sally held. 

“You didn’t bring Ben down?” The goggled man asked Jeff. 

Toby. That’s what his name was… maybe… Just Toby. Jeff adjusted his grip around the fork in his hand… and got a little too annoyed when the piece of egg hanging on fell back onto his plate. “Nah, he’s sulking that I beat him last night. Not that he can eat so. Whatever.” He grunted as he stabbed the fork back into his egg. Toby hummed slightly before shifting around the shredded hashbrowns on his plate… drowned in syrup. 

“Well if he’s feeling d-down to it later I can do a round with him later,” He paused as he slapped the back of his fork to the potatoes. “Think he’d throw a tantrum if I win?”

A snort comes from Jeff. 

The food was… nice. You had to admit it, even if you weren’t currently biting back your hunger induced nausea. Everything tasted as fresh as it looked. The water felt refreshing as it slid down your dry cracked throat. 

“Maybe we can play a-after I come back from…” Toby flicked his eyes to Slenderman. The air felt like it thickened for a second. Both the creature and Toby stayed still for a second. “It’s just a walk through to make sure no one’s m-messing around, shouldn’t take too long,” He added after a few seconds. The two masked men next to him shifted slightly. 

One in white, and the other in black. Both having not said a word as far as your eavesdropping could tell. “What game were you thinking?” Jeff pushed his plate an inch forward as he decided fighting with his food while he was already pissy wasn’t worth it. 

The sliding of the glass was covered by the sudden excited gasp of Sally. Her tiny hands patted the table as she stretched forward towards you, fingers spread out as her giant bright green eyes fixed right onto you. 

“You said we’d play another day-!” Her eyes widened in an attempt to give you her best puppy dog eyes. “And it’s another day now-”

“Sally,” Splendor scolded gently. “They’re still adjusting,” 

You open your mouth slightly before closing it. Several eyes flick to you and suddenly felt like you’d be an asshole if you rejected the little girl in front of everyone. The fork is gripped tighter in your tensing fingers as you force your eyes down to your partially eaten meal. 

For a room full of killers, everything was far more casual than you’d thought it’d be. So much more… domestic and normal. Your insides suddenly felt like they were squirming against your outsides. It was all so familiar already that it felt wrong. 

“Maybe I’ll think about it after I take a shower,” You mumbled as you stuff a strawberry through your tense jaws. Its bright sweetness only forced the tension in your mouth further before the taste of it died back. Sally’s hands returned to their light tapping as she bounced slightly in her seat in excitement at the prospect of having a brand new playmate. 

“You look like you really need that shower,” Jack snickered as he crunched his sharp teeth against the hard candy- shattering the pieces of sugar with ease. “Might need a whole new wardrobe too,”

He…

Actually had a point. You’d been given a spare outfit or two from one of the other residents. A loose t-shirt and some pants. Nothing special, and whoever the owner was was probably waiting for you to return the items to them. The clothing you had arrived to the mansion in were already returned to you after being thoroughly washed by Splendor. 

“I tried my best to get the worse stains out, my brother is better at mending clothes than I am,” He had sheepishly admitted through a soft half hearted chuckle a few nights after you arrived. 

Your leg bounced under the table. Clothing shouldn’t be an issue- you had no reason to stay here for as long as possible… unless…

Would you have to stay and lay low for a while? The fork is twirled in your fingers before you put it to the plate and shifted the food around. 

“Don’t worry about that for now, if you plan on staying I can always write to my brother to come over and whip something up for you,” Splendor lightly tapped his finger against the table in thought. The movement of his black claw brought the lack of his plate to your attention- just like Slender. Your eyes flicked to the faceless thing. 

Were they… related? 

You can’t bring yourself to stare for more than a few seconds. Back to staring at your plate for you. 

The conversation around you continued without your input. 

“We can paint together after breakfast, Sally,” Helen spoke up as he too pushed his plate in front of him. In an instant the little girl ripped her lingering stare off of you and faced the man as he pulled his mask back over his mouth. “After you finish your food of course,” He added. 

Toby was the first to stand up from the table with his plate in hand. “Welp,” 

The two masked men at his side also stood up mimicking his actions. Both still remain silent… but the feel of one of them staring at you burns right through your body even as you try to keep your eyes on your half eaten toast. 

“May as well go- go out and pick out anyone who decided to camp out here last night,” Toby’s eyes landed on you. “You got our work cut out for us,” He teased.

The man in the white mask made a soft barely noticeable noise… almost like an agreement. “Loads of people have been coming in trying to find you- must’ve really did something messy to draw so much attention,” He snickered. 

“You still owe me a story on that…” Jack leaned your way. His silver spiraled eyes piercing right through you. His smile looked… friendly, or at least it tried to be against the intensity of it and the teeth. “I’ll give you more candy if it’ll sweeten you up to me,” He added with a snicker.

He seemed to constantly be on the verge of bursting into laughter. 

“You’re already spoiling them Jack,” One of the men at the table finally broke his silence. He too also did not have a plate in front of him. His eyes and mouth glowed a faint gold… and even with the dead grey of his skin something about him seemed so deeply off… despite being otherwise human looking. He almost looked wooden. You swear you saw grooves between the joints of his fingers as they drummed against the table. His grin matches the clown’s. 

“You’re just jealous you ain’t gonna be getting any of my stash once you leave,” Jack shot back. 

“I’m a man with plans,” The fingers cease their movements for a moment. “But I’ll be back,” 

“Well. I’ll be sure you get some candy for the road!” Jack pushed himself up from the table quickly- nearly knocking his chair to the floor. He lowered from his tiptoes and scooped the rest of his candy from his plate and set it in front of the other. “There! I’ll be back with more,” 

The girl who had asked about an EJ piped up. “I’ll take the sour ones if you don’t want ‘em Pup,” 

She glanced at you. “You like sour ones too?” 

You don’t even get the chance to process that she was talking to you before Toby and the two masked men leave the room. “We’re headin o-out,” 

Toby’s eyes landed on you again. “If you want, you c-can join me and Jeff when I come back-”

You glanced to Jeff… at least now that he was more awake and partly fed he didn’t seem as angry with the world. “Nina you coming with?” 

Nina- the girl who had asked you the question- leaned back in her chair and rocked it. “Maybe… think I’ll go on a snack run… I’m running low on my stash… speaking of- who wants anything? Jane?” She leaned towards the woman sitting next to you.

“I’ll pass.” She muttered as she stood up and brought her plate to the sink and started to clean it. 

You tune out Splendor insisting she didn’t need to clean up and turn your attention to Nina as she demands it again. “I could bring you with me- I mean you’ve been like… cooped up all week. You’re worse than EJ I think… I don’t mind waiting for you to shower first,” She offered. 

“Show you around outside too?” She added. 

Jack snorted. “Like there’s any point in that anyway,” He commented. Nina only rolled her eyes at the clown. 

“Could bring some snacks to Sally’s little playdate, too,” Nina added under her breath as she jerked her head slightly to the little girl as she practically dragged Helen out of the room. Splendor quietly excused himself to join the pair… at some point “Pup” had also left the room- leaving just you, Nina, Jeff, Jack and Slender. 

Your plate was still somewhat filled with food but you couldn’t bring yourself to continue to eat. The weight of your current position settles itself into your gut. The brief sense of normalcy rapidly escaping you as the air around your head suddenly feels thicker- heavier. 

Slenderman’s faceless head had shifted to angle itself towards you. If he was trying to speak, no words broke through the air. At least… not the air itself. 

It was like a rolling buzz ringing throughout your skull. The voice was smooth as it weaved right through you from somewhere. 

The sensation felt so foreign your body tensed up in an immediate response of fear against the simple words spoken. 

“You look tired,” 

That’s all he said for a few seconds. Before he pressed on.

“Leave your plate, I will handle it.” 

Your face scrunched. Even with the mention of Slender being the one who made breakfast the offer to clean up after you felt strange coming from something that only slightly looked human. Your feet shift against the wooden floor as you rise to your feet. The remains of your hunger were killed and the feel of the clothing you were borrowing sticking to your body became all too obvious at once. You must have smelled awful and for a fleeting moment you felt bad for those around you. 

A glance is spared for Nina as she awaits your answer. The edges of your vision blurred against whatever hold Slenderman had on you… even as it rapidly slipped from you. 

“I’ll… think about it while I’m cleaning myself up…” You mumbled through teeth that suddenly felt dirty. You faintly recall seeing a toothbrush neatly set aside for you in the bathroom when you were cleaning your nails. 

Nina’s mouth pulled into a large smile. 

“I’ll try to wait then… at least for a bit! Might leave around noon if you decide not to come with… just come to my door before then- hard to miss, on the same floor as your room,” She brushed a hand through her hair as she stood to her feet. “Lemme just,” She pulled your plate away from you- only hesitating until you gave her a nod of approval. “I’ll just take this,” 

“By the by if you need anything like- soap or stuff I can grab something for you while I’m out if you don’t wanna come with- anything you prefer? Scents ‘n stuff?” 

You only shrug. “Anything works,” 

You shift your weight between your feet before turning to the doorway. “See you later, maybe,” You added awkwardly as you made your way out of the kitchen. A quick glance showed that Jack and Pup had made themselves comfortable on the couch in the living room. The former offered you a wide wave that you half heartedly returned as you slinked upstairs. 

The moment the door to the bedroom closed you ran a hand across your tired face for the second time today. 

Whether you liked it or not this was going to be your home for a while. At least until you were able to find something else to do. Getting caught by the law wasn’t a favorable option, but neither was staying in the murder house. The floorboards creak softly under you as you pace for a few seconds. 

The best option you had was to bide your time- and the residents likely weren’t going to let you keep to yourself for much longer. 

The door to the wooden wardrobe in your room was opened… next to nothing inside save for the clothing Splendor had cleaned for you, and the second borrowed outfit. Your hand goes for your own clothing first… and tossed half haphazardly to the bed. It's not long after that you’ve ushered yourself into the shower and fiddle around with the bottles to determine what was what. 

Conditioner, Shampoo, and body wash in three different bottles. 

As you work through the knots in your hair under the water you weigh your options for the day.

Nina had offered to take you out to town… but going out could be risky. 

You had made a half promise to Sally to play with her later- but maybe you could get out of it if Splendor and Helen were entertaining her. 

Toby had also offered you to hang out with Jeff and.. Ben… who you haven’t had the chance to meet yet. 

But of course, you could simply stick in your room for the day… or perhaps simply make a break for it and throw all caution to the wind. If you got caught by the police, then that’d be that. 

Those were your only real options. The question was: what would you decide to do?

[congratufuckyoulations]

i LOVE my 2 boyfriends~🤍

SORRY FOR GRAMMAR ERRORS

Sanji x reader, zoro x reader, zosan duh. Zosan x reader idek if thats a things tbh but like thats basically accurate so idek. Sanji is lowkey a switch? , Zoro! Top as always,but lowkey he soft, the reader is a switch idk lowkey. kinda slow start srry

a/n: I was scrolling on TikTok and saw these pics. It makes perfect sense honestly. You can see the watermark on the pics too so yeah. Anyway love u TikTok, thank u for this random idea lol. writing this in my notes rn I honestly only know how I’m gonna start this. Praying for an ending to appear at the end of this. hopefully i post this. I also only know how to write decently long fanfics sorry bout that.....Also kinda took inspo from challengers. With zendaya making the two guys kiss in the movie. It was so real, so iconic. The scene was deadass great thank yewwww and I will be putting a scene like that IN HERE 😮‍💨😏😇

Warning- HEAVY SMUT??! , girl idk it gets freaky??! PORN WITH PLOT BASICALLY . deadass don’t know what people consider SUSSY help. Just read with an open mind!?? ANAL!!! sanji and reader. yeah ik sounds crazy. Just be very open minded i know anal isnt taken lightly💔 not that ive done it. Thats me having an open mind

THEY ARE BOYFRIENDS. 

Zosan truther🙌👏

-ofc I gotta add sum with the outfits, so here it is. I know the shoes are impractical. But let’s just look at Namis and Robin's shoes. Right ,okay , so yeah enjoy. The heels are just too cute. they are like a more stable heel too i love them. im broke.

  You sway along in the breeze of the evening. Your feet dragging against the stone path. Feeling every small rock you step on with your heels.  Some even cause you to lose balance here and there. But never enough to fall over, only losing balance for a quick second. The people of the town your crew saved dance into the next day. You never knew so many people could keep up the fun for so long. I mean a party longer than a day let alone going on the second one already.

Forgetting about all your responsibilities for a second. You smile feeling great with all the new memories being created. Forgetting about the unstable path for a second feeling a strong breeze pick up. Making you realize this little brown cover-up wasn't gonna cut it. This trip back to the boat needs to go by faster. You thought to yourself as you picked up the pace. The cool breeze nipping at your exposed legs. Your heels click against the stone path. Echoing through the empty spaces between the townhouses you pass by. You can see the silhouette of the sunny as the sunsets past the horizon out of sight. As you hurry away from all the loud music and laughter. The sunny growing bigger the closer you get.

Previously this morning when waking up and changing into shorts and the halter top. It never passed your mind how easily the weather would drop as the sunset.

"I should've asked Nami about the weather today" you grumble to yourself. Nami was great not only being an excellent friend. But overall she was a girl with a strong head on top of her shoulders. The weather never made much sense to you. Thunderstorms didn't scare you into a panic, but it was a little unsettling at the loud strikes of thunder. Weather never passed your mind as much of an interest. When Nami talked about it though you could listen for hours. It was all second nature to Nami. (Nami x reader??) Soon gaining a pep in your step at the thought of your ginger friend who you loved dearly. Your mind wanders off easily making the trip back to the boat seem more quick than you remember

Walking back to the sunny letting your body take control. Only a few feet away from the ramp leading to the sunny. Putting full trust in your body to get you onto the boat.  Going to the sunny not only meant changing into warmer clothes to party with through the rest of the night, but you knew two particular guys would be there too. Or at least you hoped that was the case.

Now that your thinking about it throughout today's party events the two were nowhere to be seen. The excuse of going back to the sunny to change into warmer clothes was an opportunity to break away from Luffy which wasn't hard at all, not when meat was involved. You felt bad leaving Luffy, but knowing the boy he was bound to make a new friend in seconds. But now you could go and confirm your suspicions. Knowing the two probably snuck off to enjoy time with each other. And the FOMO was real. 

Since the three of you had some weird alliance. You were all comfortable with each other and cared for each other a little more deeply than most crewmates. Mostly because most crewmates don't sleep around with each other….. was it a relationship? or a situationship? None of you knew the answer.

 It started with just you and Sanji making out here and there. After the first exchange, you both covered up this “fling” as both adults using each other for pleasure and nothing more. You both agreed that the two of you were just pirates who often spent many days at sea. Who needs some stress relief during those times? Both the others type. Not because you like each other or anything. And it was consensual, so who was it harming? Soon Zoro found out the situation between you two. Coincidentally catching the two of you in the act of the heated exchange.

Flashback onto a random day 

 One day when Sanji was stressed out over how he was gonna portion out servings with such a low food supply. (Due to Luffy…) you decided to be there to support him. Somehow that ended up in an intense make-out session in the kitchen where you were consoling him. If this even is consider consoling. Soon the kissing takes a turn for the better.  With Sanji lifting you on the counter. Your Back to the door.

With Sanji between your legs. His body spreads them further apart. His left hand is on your hip. Rubbing his hand back and forth in a soothing motion. You don’t realize the key detail in the heat of the moment. But your body shows Sanji a reaction you're unaware of when his hands rub against you. Your lips always curled up whenever his hands grabbed your hips or waist. Your body always seems to relax into putty at this action.

 Sanjis hand traveled up your torso, to your neck. Soon finding its way to cup your cheek. As his hand traveled into your hair pulling you deeper into the kiss. Teeth clashing. Tongues deep in the other's mouth. Trying to savor every drop of each other's salvia. It had been around a month since the last session. Both never being able to catch a moment alone. Now finally getting a quick chance together. On the kitchen counter. Not the ideal spot but it was better than going even longer without something.

Your hands explore the cook's body as well. Your hands find his chest and glide them down his dark blue suit. Your arms grasping at the waist trying to pull him closer. Your legs soon follow suit. Lifting them to wrap around the blonde's waist. Feeling like he couldn't get any closer. You both need this. Both of you relentlessly grinding on one another. Your arms come back up to wrap around his neck. You felt so desperate for a release.

God Sanji's cock felt so good against your shorts. You couldn't help but glance down between the two of your bodies. Your chests rise up and down as you pant from the small workout. Admiring the bulge rutting against you. Stomach filled with warmth at how great Sanji looked as his pants grew tighter. Your mouth salivated at the outline of the bulge and the way Sanji slide perfectly against your clothed clit. Causing your body to jolt and tighten your thighs around Sanji.

“Mon amour, you feel so great I cannot get enough~” Sanji coos down into your ear. 

“G-god Sanji, just keep doing that~” You whine back. Feeling like an amateur who just found out about dry humping for the first time. Chasing the amazing feeling of the fabric between you. Rubbing together against your most sensitive areas. The two of you rutting against each other trying to get as much friction as possible. Sanji softly laughs before leaning back in to capture your lips in another passionate kiss.

He loved how you often told him what to do. Your simple and small demands he could so easily fulfill. Knowing at the end he would be rewarded with the sight of your face with pure bliss. How your skin becomes damp and how your cheeks puff out from every orgasm. You often were very serious and liked taking control when with Sanji. But you had to admit he does know how to make a girl feel good. And you couldn’t complain about that.

As the kiss deepens and the room grows hotter. You hear the fridge door open from the left of you. The way Sanji freezes mid-kiss lets you know he also heard the fridge door opening. Both your bodies coming to a complete halt.

Both your heads snap to see Zoro leaning over halfway looking into the fridge, grabbing something from inside. Soon standing up straight. His hand swung the fridge door shut. A cold sake bottle in hand. Staring blankly at the two of you. Taking in the sight of you on the counter with Sanji between your legs. A full display of the cook's erection. Both of your hair messy from letting your hands roam freely. Your top pushed up showing your stomach slightly. With Sanjis suit jacket on the floor. You're pretty sure you pushed that off in the heat of the moment.

“You forgot to lock the door”

Zoro speak up. His face never changing, looking completely serious while you and Sanji stare back in total terror. You could see Sanji's face turn red with anger and you knew a handful of insults were about to come from the blonde's mouth.

“IDIOT YOU THINK I DON’T KNOW THAT NOW!” Sanji yells at Zoro who is already walking back to the kitchen door. Getting ready to take his leave. Looking back to the two of you

“Next time I’ll show the shitty cook how to treat you,” Zoro says as he walks out the door. Leaving you with a grumpy sanji grumbling about how that "moss head is the last person to know how to any girl." Especially you, out of all people.

Let's just say there did end up being a next time only a day later. And ever since the three of y’all used each other to fulfill any sexual desires. There was supposed to be “no feeling involved” but deep down you all knew you did. You all did have feelings for each other but you all had yet to figure something out.

Back to the present

Now as you reached the top of the ramp, slowly steeping onto the deck of the sunny. You notice how the sunny seems so much more calm without your crazy captain running around. Or a skeleton bugging you about your panties. You frown missing your crew members already. Even though you know they aren’t too far away throwing another one of their super parties. 

This trip to the boat to change would be over soon and you would be back with your group. But your stomach brewed with warmth at the sight of light peeping through the bottom of the door leading to the kitchen. If both guys weren’t here. You at least knew one of the guys was. And that was Sanji. You could always rely on Sanji when you wanted somebody who would listen to what you say right away. Sanji listened to you.

Zoro not so much both of you often butting heads and getting into small little arguments. Both of you have very dominating personalities humor and love-wise. Even though you and Zoro were both dominant. The two of you learned to open up with each other throughout this whole situation. It was most common for you and Zoro to overpower the chef. It was like good cop and bad cop. You treated Sanji the way he deserved making sure to pamper to his every need. While Zoro played the bad cop. Often being rougher with Sanji and throwing insults around casually.

The combination was overwhelming for Sanji. Getting controlled by a beautiful lady and a decent swordsman. The three of y’all experimented in many different ways. Sometimes the two boys team up to pleasure you as much as possible. Making sure you feel appreciated. You especially liked it when both of the boys just wanted to be taken care of by you. Letting you do whatever you want to them. The trio using up their free will as much as possible to discover new things

Your feet move on their own at the thought of the two guys passing through your mind. Your legs pick up speed as you approach the door turning the knob. Letting your body be greeted by the warmth of the kitchen. (erm why are we always in the kitchen) As the door swings out of the way. You see two familiar figures to your left. You knew them all too well. Of course, this is where they would be. Seeing the two in a very scandalous position leads your smile to grow as you turn to lock the kitchen door.

Seeing Zoro pressing into Sanji as he was sat on the counter. This position was all too familiar to you. Having been caught in the same one with Sanji the day Zoro decided to join this...…situation. Except Sanji saw as you entered with Zoros back to you. Sanjis right leg wrapped around the swordsman's waist. While the other was in between Zoro's legs.

The scene itself sent heat straight from your face down to your core. The two guys using each other to get off. Zoros hands tightly on the blonde's waist. Sanjis's face is flushed red. It was amusing seeing Sanji in the position you once were in. Only a couple of counters away from where the two of you were caught by Zoro.

Sanjis hips slowing down against his was enough to catch Zoro's attention. Following the cook's eye line he turns his head behind him to see you standing there with your cheeks flushed. You begin to walk closer, making your way to the right of Zoro. As you approach the pair your hand slides along Zoro's back. Feeling the muscles underneath your fingertip through his green kimono. Letting your hip rest against the counter. Now with your body facing them. Both boys turn their heads to look at you.

"I think you forgot to lock the door~" you tease the two guys.

"You can blame Moss Head for that this time" Sanji replies. His voice shaking a little at the actions that took place not long ago

"oh shut it cook. Y/N are you gonna join or not" Zoro mutters looking back to the boy in front of him.

As Zoro looked away, you watched as he began picking his pace back up. Zoro continued to grind up against the cook in a desperate chase of relief. His cheeks were well flushed. His eyes started dropping making him look delicious. Sweat forming on his neck. You could eat him up right now if he let you. Your hands coming up to cup his face. Turning his head to you as he leaned down to kiss you.

Your hand finds its way into his green hair. The other finds his neck resting around it. Nothing intense though, just a light hold on his neck not wanting to hurt the swordsman. Not like you really could hurt the brute of a man.

While making out with Zoro he held onto Sanji keeping up his thrust against their clothed bulges. Sanji felt so good already and the sight of the two of you making out right in front of him. It was enough for him to almost come undone right there. He could feel his orgasm creeping closer. As you and Zoro pull away. A string of salvia connects the two of you. Zoro and your lips curved into a slight smiles at the lewd sight

Sanji was entranced with how well you and Zoro looked together. He might’ve said he hated the swordsman. But he couldn't deny the guy's good looks. The two of you together looked amazing. It was a dream for Sanji. Sanji was broken out of his trance as you and Zoro turned your heads to look at the blonde. As he sat on the counter with Zoro's pace slowing down against him.

You spoke up

“Sanji has been working extra hard lately. Don't you agree, Marimo?”

“You think so, huh? If you’re so sure then you must be correct~” zoro replies

“I think that deserves a reward~” you coo

You and Zoro glance at one another quickly before locking back onto Sanji

“How does that sound sanji~” you purr

As your right hand travels up his arm, going up to the nape of his neck. Your fingers twisting his blonde hair at the back of his neck

“My love that sounds more than delightful~” Sanji whisper out.

That’s all you and Zoro needed before beginning to work the cook. Zoro began undressing himself between the cook's legs. As you and Sanji leaned in sharing a kiss. It was slow and loving. Zoro watched intensely watching how you and Sanji worked each other's mouths.

Your body leans down a bit to meet the cook halfway. You slightly overpowered the cook. One of Sanjis's hands holding your waist while the other is placed behind him to keep him upright. After a while of being consumed by the sight of you two.

Zoro begins helping the chef out of his shirt. Then turning his attention to you. Leaning over slightly to kiss your neck from behind. His hands traveled up the small of your back to your shoulders pulling off the small brown cover-up you wore.

Throwing it off somewhere. His hands travel down your back. Once halfway down your back, you felt his bigger hands wrap around your front side. His hand finds the button of the shorts. His fingers worked to undo the button of the small shorts you wore. Allowing you and Sanji to continue your turn making out

Zoro was dominant, yes but he still cared. Even though his introvert personality made him always seem grumpy. The guy was a complete idiot and often cracked small jokes here and there. It would be a shock to many to see how the man cared for Sanji and you.

With the small act of helping you two out of your clothes. Zoro always enjoyed watching even though he wouldn't admit it. Zoro felt himself grow even more hard at the sight of the pair growing more relaxed. As they let Zoro take control of them. Allowing him to undress the two of you.

You smile into the kiss feeling Zoro's rough hands against your legs as he slides your shorts down. Feeling his hand travel up the back of your legs, tracing your body from your thighs, up the spine of your back coming back up to your shoulders. His fingers quickly undo the top tied around your neck. Pulling away from Sanji feeling the support from your shirt disappear. You glance down and then right back up to Sanji.

His face flushed. A lazy smile across his face. His eyes were glazed over with lust. Looking back down getting ready to remove to the top yourself. You felt both the boy's hands at the bottom of your halter top. Pulling the shirt up and over your head. The two doing all the work for you.

You giggle as you lean up kissing Zoro. Before pulling away and turning your head to make out with Sanji. It wasn't too long before you pulled your head away from Sanji. Your left hand finds the back of Zoros's neck and your right hand finds its way to Sanjis as well. The three of your faces burning up. You slowly pull away, leaving only the boys face-to-face. The two caught the message. Your hand only rested on their necks as they leaned in to kiss each other. You would be lying if you said this didn't make you hot.

As your eyes dropped lower you realized the two men were both only in their boxers now. Looking at yourself you stand only in your underwear and well your heels. Looking down at your shorts now pooled around your heels. Stepping out of your heels leaving them in between the shorts. Pushing the pile of clothes to the side with your foot.

As you looked up from moving your shoes and shorts out of the way. You caught the eyes of Zoro and Sanji looking at you. While undressing yourself the two at one point realized you were no longer touching them. Or even paying attention to them.

"Oi, I thought you were joining in?" Zoro says with a smirk

"Does it not look like it" You reply, as you give him an, Are you serious? Look. you stood there naked. It was obvious the two of you were just joking around. Zoro may have a bad sense of direction, but that didn't mean the man was stupid

Zoro reaches his arm out to grab you. Pulling you closer to the pair you've grown very fond of. Sanjis hand reaches out hooking his finger around the side of your underwear

"My sweet these might get in the way" Sanji coos in your right ear

"The cooks right, I thought I removed those with the shorts" Zoro agrees, his smirk growing. His hands find their way to the sides of your body. Pulling your underwear down letting them fall onto the floor. While Zoro helped you out of your underwear, Sanji was quick to get rid of his boxers. The two of you are now completely naked in the kitchen. Thankfully you locked the door and there was a huge party going on at the moment. Otherwise none of this would be able to get past the crew.

Zoro had stepped out a little from between Sanjis legs. His hands guide you to stand in his spot. With Sanjis sitting on the counter leaning back on his right hand. His head tilts back due to the pleasure his other hand is giving him. You were right in front of Sanjis exposed legs, his hardened cock on display. Lewd moans flow out from between the cook's lips as his gaze settles on you.

"You get top," Zoro says in your ear, as he lifts you by the waist helping you onto the blonde's lap. Sanji arms stretched invitingly. His arms pulling you close as you settle down.

You never liked dominant guys, but Zoro was so different. He was soft when it came to intercourse. His demands come out softly never raising his voice at you. He was firm with what he wanted. The gesture of him easily lifting you was impressive. Lifting you on the counter to straddle the cook sitting on it. Zoro casually shows off his natural strength to you and Sanji.

As you are now straddling Sanji on the counter with Zoro behind you. You get a little shy with your bare back end exposed to somebody. But you remind yourself that these are the guys you've seen naked a couple of times already. The feeling of Sanjis's hard cock on your clit helps you easily get distracted

The two of you locking lips again as you slowly start to rock on his cock. Feeling his length slide easily between your lips. Your slick provides a natural lubricant allowing you to slide back and forth easier. You pull away looking down admiring the way his cock glides perfectly against your clit.

"Sanji, my love, I can feel how hard you are with no clothes between us," you say

"M-Mon Amour, keep moving like that" Sanji whines, as you grind down harder onto the blonde. It was way too hot for you and Sanji to handle. Your minds are both fuzzy at the sight of his hardened cock almost entering you. Only to hump into your folds with the tip of his cock hitting your sensitive clit perfectly

Behind you, zoro watches for a while enjoying the show once again. His cock throbbing brought him back to reality as his hand pumped up and down his shaft. His hardened cock grew in size at the sight of you grinding slowly against the chef's cock.

Not allowing him to enter you just yet. Zoro opened his mouth allowing himself to spit down onto his hardened cock. Feeling a quick cooling sensation on his cock from the spit before it disappeared. As he rubbed the spit onto his aching cock. Zoros's left-hand finds its way to your thigh from behind. The sight of you grinding on Sanji from behind made the swordsman go crazy.

His left hand moved to your ass grabbing some in his hand before moving over to your wet folds. Inserting one finger slowly pumping it in and out before adding a second in. Seeing the way your back arched at the feeling of his fingers inside you. Your chest going forward as you arch, pressing against Sanji. Whose hands came up, happily cupping your breast. Immediately massaging them while peppering kissing along your chest and up

"God Y/N your dripping all over the place" Zoro says from beind you.

Turning your head over your shoulder. Pulling your attention away from Sanji who is kissing all over your neck. Glancing back at Zoro raising an eyebrow at him.

There he was in all his glory. His tan looked great in this lighting. With his green hair messed up. Pieces of his hair sticking up in the air here and there. Zoro was a sight for sore eyes truly. And here he was behind you stroking himself in one hand, while the other fingers in and out of you. You back arching trying to take more of the swordsman. Fingers were not gonna be enough, you thought to yourself as you moved back and forth on his fingers.

"Could y-you blame me?" you say looking straight back at Zoro. Turning your head back to face Sanji. The cook holding you up in his lap. His arms wrap around your back. Your right tit in his mouth. The blonde hugging you closer to his naked frame. Soon feeling Zoros fingers leave you. Disappointment washes over you but knowing you're about to have way more fun.

You began to rock your hips against Sanji again teasing him as his cock slides past your entrance. Both let moans fall from your lips. Until Sanji lets out a louder moan as he whines "IDIOT, at least tell me when your gonna put a finger in!"

"You knew this would end up happening you idiot!" Zoro fires back

You glance back to see Zoro inserting his fingers into Sanji's hole. Pumping his fingers very slowly in and out. Noticing he using the same finger he used for you. You felt yourself dripping even more against Sanji at the thought of your slick being used as lube for Sanji.

Your perverted mind grows hazy as you keep rocking against his bare cock. Watching him lean back. His shoulders hit the wall as he was slouched on the counter. You leaned further down taking Sanjis left nipple in your mouth sucking on the area. Your right-hand finds the other one, pinching and teasing the nub

Sanji was in pure bliss having you grind against him coating you with his slick. Getting pampered all over by you and Zoro. Now with Zoros two fingers dipping in and out of him. Moans flowing from the three of your mouths.

Zoro soon entered himself into Sanji who took some time to get adjusted to the feeling of Zoros hardened cock inside of him. You helped the cook by comforting him with kisses all over and you whispered how good he was. Mentioning how good boys get good rewards. Which was him being allowed inside of you. You never held it above Sanji's head though. Since you had a big soft spot for the chef and often gave in. Always wanting to be able to pleasure the hard-working blonde.

When Sanji got comfortable, he felt your hand grab the base of his cock slowly aligning yourself right above it.

"Enjoy your reward for being so hard-working, chef~" you coo into his ear as you lower yourself onto his hardened length. Letting out a moan adjusting to the size of Sanji. Your hands wrapping around his neck trying to find comfort from the passing pain. Sanjis's hands lift to cup your face as he kisses you slowly. Like he's trying to distract you from the pain like you did for him

You can feel zoros large hands on your thighs drawing small circles with his thumbs hoping to comfort you. While kissing Sanji you felt one of his hands drop settling on your hip. Helping you sink further down onto him. Feeling your warmth spread open around him. Feeling the shape of his length inside of you. You moan as Sanjis's body begins rocking back and forth due to Zoro starting to thrust into the chef. The movement of Sanji's body caused you to also move back and forth on Sanji.

"Oh f-fuck you both feel amazing" sanji moans from underneath you.

You could hear Zoro let out a soft chuckle. And in this moment it was one of the sexiest things Zoro could've done at a time like this. Everything was a turn-on to you. Your pace begins to pick up as you ride Sanji. Using what strength you have to lift yourself up and down. Your hands planted on Sanji's waist dragging them up his stomach to plant on his chest. Your nails slightly dug into his skin as you use his chest to stabilize yourself and you lazily bounced on his dripping cock.

From behind you feel Zoros arms wrap around you. As he plunges in and out of Sanji's aching hole. He needed something to ground him as well. And you were perfect as his hands wrapped around your torso. Zoro lets you lean back onto him not needing to dig into Sanji's chest no more. Zoros hands at your waist lifting you up and down. Doing all the work for you. Allowing you to gain your energy back slowly. Zoro lifted you up and down on Sanji as he fucked into the blonde on his own.

From Zoro's point of view, he got a clear view of you bouncing up and down onto the cook's cock. Your moans grow loud, mixing in with Sanji's whines and the sounds of your juices mixing. It reeked of sex in the kitchen. As the three of you hump against one another. Your sex crazed minds are taking over completely forgetting about everything.

Zoro's hands leave your waist allowing you to slowly grind back and forth on Sanji's cock. Zoro watches his hand travel up across your body to your right breast As his other hand dips down between your legs. Coming in contact with your wet folds His two fingers find the bundles of nerves. Drawing slow circles. Zoro gaze slowly lifts to look at Sanji who’s watching intensely.

“S-shit guys I'm getting close~” Sanji whimpers out slouching further back into the counter. Sanjis body couldn’t concentrate with Zoro filling him up and you wrapped around him

“You’re doing so good for us, Sanji” you praise as you watch from above

“Zoro, why don’t you tell Sanji how good he’s being” You turn your head to your left. Zoros's head was right above your shoulder. Being very close due to his arms wrapping around your body.

“Yeah cook, I think you’ve been real good. Working hard to pleasure our princess~”

Zoro says in that dam teasing tone of his. The one that drove both you and Sanji to the edge. Zoros' voice was affecting you two. And as you feel Sanji's cock pulse inside you. You were sure about your previous statement

“You like being praised, right? f-fuck you just got so tight~” Zoro hisses into your ear at Sanji. Not knowing you had the same reaction to his tone of voice as you clenched around Sanji's cock hearing it

“O-oh im getting close Sanji” you whine to the guy below you. Sanji was on cloud 9. The view of you bouncing on his length looking down at him. Your head falling back onto Zoro's shoulder as you feel your orgasm coming closer. Zoro is behind you with his fingers picking up speed on your clit. His hand moves away from your breast. The hand grabs your face. Turning it to the left, making you look directly at him as he was quick to take your lips.

As you lean back onto Zoro your head turned to the side making out with the male that was behind you. You can feel zoros pace pick up from behind as he pumps into Sanji. His chest knocks into your back as you lean onto him. Your hips thrusting upwards taking full advantage of the support you were getting from Zoro's frame.

You and Zoro pulled away from the kiss turning your gaze down to the guy beneath both of them. Sanji felt like prey under you eyes. The two of you had hunger written all over your faces. As you both fucked Sanji relentlessly. One of Sanji's arms came up to cover his eyes. Avoiding the gaze of the two who were running him like nothing.

“Sanji, my love, don’t hide~” you pur

Your hand moves his arm away from his eyes as you lean over him. Your hand on his left cheek as you kiss along his jaw on the right side. Leaning back slightly to look him in the eyes

“I want you to see how good you make us feel~” you coo as you sit back up leaning up against Zoro again. The two of you taking full control of the cook. Sanjis whines were loud. Zoros groans about getting close. You moaned praises to the two boys as you reached your high

“Y-Y/N im nngh cumming~” Sanji whines loudly as his hands on your waist tighten. Releasing his load inside of you. His head tilts back with his mouth wide open. Thrusting up trying to ride through his high His legs try to close together but are blocked by Zoros's body.

“You two are doing so well, I’m g-gonna cum too” you moaned, feeling your walls clench around his length. as your head flies back onto Zoro's shoulder. Your body shudders from the high of the orgasm. Soon slowly leaning forward onto Sanji. Leaning in to kiss him. Giving him comfort as he settles down from his first orgasm. Knowing Zoro is close and with the way Sanji was moaning you knew he was too.

You smile as Sanji moans into your mouth while you make out. Your right hand slowly slides down his torso testing to see if he's not too sensitive. As you touch his length gently. His hips thrusting up into your hand and a head nod from Sanji as you kiss was more than enough confirmation to continue.

As your hand wraps around Sanji's hardening length you pump your hand up and down his cock. Drawing more moans out of him as you pick up the pace. The blonde's lips find their way to your breast alternating between the two. Moaning between him sucking and kissing all over you.

"S-shit Im gonna cum a-again-" Sanji was cut off by his orgasm. Head falling back again as he reaches his second high as you pump his member and Zoro soon releasing his load not too long after.

"S-hit i'm c-close" Zoro groans out as he reaches his high

His body leans forward onto yours as you lean on Sanji. You sandwiched between the two. The three of you panting in silence. Trying to catch your breath

“This counter is gonna need some intense cleaning” you speak up in the middle of silence. Pushing your body up signaling to Zoro to get off you. He stands up straight now feeling whole after the intense orgasm.

You sit up slowly pulling yourself off Sanji. Standing back on the floor in front of the counter. Standing between Sanji's legs like earlier. You smile as you pat the cook's thigh

“Come on there's a party to attend,” you say to Sanji turning around to walk away but Zoro was standing in your way.

"I think we have time for one more don't you think, curly brows?" Zoros eyes looking behind you meeting with Sanjis

"I think you might finally be right about something, moss head" Sanji chimes from behind you. Zoro leans down to capture your lips. His hand goes into your hair, finding the back of your neck. Deeping the kiss his hands lifted you once more but now instead of straddling his Sanjis lap. Your back is towards him. Sanji lined himself up with your back entrance slowly inserting himself. You wince adjusting to his size. As Zoro pulls away from the kiss, you both look down as he inserts himself into you. Watching his hardened cock disappear back and forth into you.

"i-I don't think I'm gonna l-last long this round" you whine out, which soon turns to loud moans mixed with curses being thrown around. Shit, fuck, you name it.

The three are completely captivated by the feeling of another orgasm forming. The two guys thrusting up into you. As you now lean back onto Sanji who holds your waist with one hand the other teasing your clit. Your legs spread wide open in the air. Zoros arms are hooked at your knees. Your hands clawed at Zoros's body trying to find something to hold with how intense this orgasm was already feeling.

One after the other you, Zoro, and Sanji ended up finishing around the same time. This time taking an even longer break before standing up. Feeling extra worn out this time. The 3 of you slowly gather yourself and get dressed. You all take turns washing your hands, Sanji even getting a cup out of the cabinet for some water. The first to break the silence was Zoro

"Does the party still have booze?" he questions

"uhm. Well earlier they seemed to still be serving drinks so I don't see why not" you reply looking up at the moss head while drying off your hands

"yeah i might take a nap before i go to the party" zoro mentions

"I could go for a nap right now, what about you sanji?" you say, as you turn your head to look at the cook.

"With you, my love? of course" Sanji coos while smiling down at you

"Don't try to cuddle with me you pervert cook" Zoro teases while making his way out of the kitchen. Most likely leading you three to the men's quarters for the nap. Which might just turn into a whole night's rest, to be honest

"AS IF YOU IDIOT" Sanji yells chasing Zoro out the door to argue over something silly. The arguing often turns to normal conversations after time. You follow behind the two watching the way they walk down the stairs.

You stand at the top as they descend watching Sanji leaning over while walking holding his stomach. Zoros's head shakes from side to side, his shoulders going up and down. Watching the two reach the bottom of the step as they laughed about some joke you didn't catch. You never knew what you were with the two.

Eventually, you wanted to figure it out. All you knew was that at this moment, this was the closest thing to happiness. Seeing two of your favorite people laughing together. Joking through it all as if they don't argue constantly.

Picking up your pace you feel your body bloom with warmth at night tucked together with Sanji and Zoro

The end. Sorry i write a lot. I cant just end my stories short or without detail. THANK U SO MUCH FOR THE LIKES. I only posted because i thought maybe one or two people would like my idea. But so far 30 of you liked it. I knew yall were freaky (i forget tumblr people lowkey freaky.. me asff) While writing this i found out i cant write smut lowkey ermm. this was stressful but im glad i found out about tumblr drafts this shit handy.

me rn-

[reticulating-splines]

WIP - West 70th

1880s-1910s row of Upper West Side townhomes.

Been working on this row of late 19th c. brownstones on and off for the past year now, so needless to say when I heard about For Rent I was hype.

Download Here

This initially started because I was homesick for NYC during the pandemic. Specifically for the area of the upper west side my dorm was in while I was a student. I mainly blame this experience for my obsession with historical architecture - walking along central park west past the Dakota on the way to the subway, smoking on the stoops of the brownstones late at night, going to classes in the wedding cake that is the Ansonia - it was just everywhere, and so, so beautiful to look at.

Except a lot of it is faded glory - buildings subdivided, details chipped or covered in the thickest coats of grime or paint. So I wanted to replicate some of the old New York from around the turn of the century. The one I read about in the Luxe series and saw in the Samantha movie lol.

The basement or garden level of each four-story brownstone will be dedicated to the original purpose as the main workplace of the service staff. Unfortunately no room for the actual garden, so laundry lines and planters are on the roof. There are bedrooms and bathrooms for a cook and a housekeeper/butler, along with the staff dining and the kitchen. The butler's pantry is directly upstairs from the kitchen, and the top floor is almost exclusively made up of staff bedrooms and washrooms.

I usually do the service areas first because they're the most interesting, and there was nothing more interesting than a full edwardian brownstone kitchen. Lots of exposed piping, beadboard, subway tile, and shelves of clutter. Has a separate scullery, pantry, and stairs down to a basement storeroom to keep your best champs-le-sims nectar in. There's also a servant's bellboard in the kitchen and the staff dining room. It along with the "boiler" system are made with tool and CC-free.

The main entrance and parlor are doing their best to continue the gothic revival theme of the exterior. The library and dining room follow in the enfilade starting in the parlor. Since this first house is a corner lot, it has a bit more width and space than a true brownstone. The only actual brownstone I've been inside of is Lady Mendl's, so ofc I had to have an extensive tea setup. Def took a lot of inspo from these two pics alone for these rooms.

The main stairwell and picture gallery lead to three large bedrooms on the second floor, and then up to the children's room and nanny's bedroom on the third floor. I really like skylights. I learned the importance of decent lightwells in staving off depression one semester when my window looked out onto a brick wall

The master bedroom and the children's room above it both have their own private sitting rooms and bathrooms. All rooms have either fireplaces or cast iron radiators.

There's no way this is going to be finished by the time For Rent comes out, so im just going to release it in whatever state it's in when it does come out. The exteriors and interior room layout for all the townhomes will (hopefully) most likely be set by then anyway.

Now available for download!

Also the anniversary of Chez Cromwell is coming up! Ive been gone for the better part of the year due to starting a new job, but I havent been idle. C.Cromwell has been updated for infants and ceilings, which led to me redoing the exterior and almost every room, so a rerelease is coming v soon! Sneak peek below. Happy Thanksgiving!

[alexa-yukiyu]

Demonic Catch (Jinbe x f!teen!reader)

A/N HI OMG HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN GUYS , listen writers block got me bad, I thank God for @hannahbarberra162 😭 helped me with this fiv and pulled me out of this block (hopefully) she is an amazing writer and her pieces brought me inspiration so go check her out. Right now 🔪

Reader here is replaced by Dokucha which stands for reader in japanese

Dividers by @/drinkthesky and @/fireflygraphics

“Man, that last island had nothing to eat,” the girl muttered, looking through her latest gains as she leisurely flew along.

“They did have pretty things, at least,” she grinned, pulling out jewelry from the bag. 

“Hmm?” the teen paused, her sights set on a traveling vessel below her.

“This one looks like it could have a lot of things, But I’m already tired from the last raid,” she huffed out.

“I could use some food…” she mulled out, thinking over her options. However, this was halted as she felt something wrap around her body and Suddenly, the decision to board the ship was made for her, and the last thing to reach her ears was a feminine but shrill scream.

“You idiot, that’s not a bird!”

-

“Ugh, My head is fucking killing me; what the hell happened” Dokucha muttered, lifting herself up from what appeared to be a small hospital bed.

“Ah! You’re awake! How are you feeling?” A squeaky voice piped in

Dokucha glanced at the owner of the voice, blinking owlishly at the small creature.

“A mink?”

“I’m a reindeer!”

“Oh...er, my head feels like a boulder smashed it; what happened, and who the hell are you?” she dazedly answered.

“I’m Chopper! I’m a doctor! Our captain thought you were a bird and tried reeling you in, and it caused you to crash against our ship.”

His words sank in and pulled her out of her previous stupor as she jumped off the bed, pulling off the IV that the Doctor had put in her.

“Ah, You shouldn’t move yet! You had a head injury, so you should be on bed rest!” he exclaimed immediately.

She ignored his pleas as she tumbled her way outside the infirmary into what appeared to be the ship’s dining room. Two men came into her field of view, mirroring her surprised expression.

The blond one was the first one to react to her sudden entrance.

“Little Miss, I think you should listen to the Doc; you shouldn’t be running around in that state,” he called warily, approaching the girl.

“Tch,” she sidestepped the men and made a quick dash out of the dining room, covering her eyes at the sudden introduction of light as she made her way into the ship’s deck and all its sights. However, she did not have time to take it in as the voices of the men she left behind called after her, prompting her to keep running, which took her into her current situation.

It turned out that past the green deck of the ship was the men’s quarters, and below it the ship’s storage room. She took to hiding in a corner, pulling her legs close to her chest as she tried to make herself as small as she could and take in her current situation.

“How the hell am I going to get out of here... My wing got injured in the crash, so flying is out of the question. I can try swimming, but I don’t know how far I am from the coast. My only option is finding their lifeboat.” she muttered, taking a look at her bandaged wings, anger and fear filling her.

“Those bastards probably patched me up so I could be kept as a hostage,” she growled.

“I won’t let them,” she stated, determined as she stood up slowly, taking hold of an axe from the array of weapons stored in the room.

“I would be careful with that,” A deep voice rumbled behind her as she scrambled into a corner, once again holding the axe in front of her.

“Don’t come any closer, you asshole!”

The Fishman hummed, a frown on his face as he took in her words.

Eventually, he sighed, and much to the teen’s surprise, he plopped himself down, crossing his arms and closing his eyes as he sat in front of her.

“W-What are you doing?” she gasped out.

“I am simply sitting down.”

She stared at him incredulously, not lowering the weapon in her arms.

“You are Dokucha, are you not?”

“How do you know that?”

“I have seen your wanted posters.”

“So I was right. You just want me alive so you can cash me in.” She sneered

“No. Neither me nor my crew have any wish to do that.”

“As if I would believe that, why else would you help me?”

“I can understand your weariness of us after being hunted down for so long but you have my word that we have no ulterior motive for tending to your wounds, Chopper is a Doctor at heart and would never leave someone injured If he could help it.”

She stared at him a while longer, slowly lowering the axe but not releasing the tight grip on it

The two sat there for a while, no words being exchanged between the two as the tension on the young girl slowly ebbed away

“Will you allow my friend to treat your injuries?” he spoke up after a while, and to your surprise, you agreed.

Here’s to hoping this is the end of the writer’s block

Taglist:

@Imaginarydreams

@amethystviolin

@h0n3y-l3m0n05

[bradleycoopersgirl]

Come on, nurse

You were putting his iv in. He smiled a bit. “Has anyone ever told you how absolutely gorgeous you are?” he asked. “Shut up before i purposely pop a vein.” you said. Stu laughed. “Can all of you shut up for a moment so i don’t accidentally hurt him from getting distracted?” you said. “Aww. She doesnt wanna hurt me. Were getting somewhere.” he said. you slapped his vein. sticking the iv in it. “Ow! That hurt honey.” he said. “Dont call me honey. I have a name.” you said. “and what might be that beautiful name?” he asked. “Nurse Y/N.” You said. “Now if youll excuse me i have to go see if your bloodwork is done.” you walked out. “I think shes into me.” phil said. “She was basically eye fucking you.” stu said. You walked back in and they shut up. “Its not back yet.” you said. checking his iv and making sure its working. he grabbed your waist. “Mr Wenneck—“ he cut you off “Come on, nurse..” he said. caressing your waist. your cheeks lit up and you tried to push him away. stu, alan, and doug walked out and closed the blinds and door so you could have privacy. “Dont you want to just a little bit?” he asked. “Mr Wenneck i could get fired for this.” you said. “Nobody has to find out baby.” he said. pulling you into his lap. you whimpered. “awww.. you sound so cute.” he said, taking your scrubs off, revealing your pink lingerie. “Your so beautiful.” he said, unclasping your bra. “phil..” you whimpered. “Good girl..” he said. taking your panties off. he took his hospital gown off. you ran your hands down his abs. he helped you position yourself over his cock. you sunk down onto him and moaned slightly. he covered your mouth. “As much as id like to hear those beautiful moans, you need to be quiet baby.” he said. “mm.. so tight..” he said. you bounced up and down on it. trying so hard to hold your moans back. you bounced up and down faster. he held your waist with one hand while the other was behind his head. “So.. Good.. Gonna.. Cum..” you said. “Cum for me baby.. Show me how good i make you feel.” he said. you came at the same time. “Fuck.. we should’ve used protection..” you said. “Fuck that. Im glad i got to feel you.” he said. you took him out of you and tried to get up but he stopped you. “Five more minutes?” he said. “Fine.” you replied. he pulled you close, your head resting on his chest. he pulled the blanket over you both. Five minutes later he was asleep. you got off of him and put your scrubs back on. you put your number in his jeans pocket. ————————————————————————— it had been 24 hours since you saw phil. you tried to forget about him. him and his friends ended up leaving a little after you left. you were looking at your charts when suddenly phil walked up to you. “Excuse me Ma’am— Were looking for a few answers.” He said. “I- Uhm- I-“ you said. stuttering. “You okay?” he asked. “Mhm.. Uhm. What do you need.” you said, flustered. he furrowed his brows. “Was i here last night?” he asked. oh god. he doesn’t remember. You almost frowned. “Uh.. Yeah. You were.” you said. “And who was here with me?” he asked. “Just you three. Definitely no baby. And one other guy.” you said. “Thats our friend doug— Hes missing. Uh. So what was i here for?” he asked. “Broken ribs and some head trauma. you were wasted aswell.” You said. “Your bloodwork came back today. Lots of alcohol and Rohypnol.” you said. “Whats Rohypnol?” he asked. “Roofies. the date rape drug.” you said. “Are you saying i was raped?” he asked. “No you werent.” you said. looking into those gorgeous eyes. “Well did something happen between you and i? Cause i found your number in my pocket.” He asked. Tears formed in your eyes. he got concerned. “No.” you said. walking away. he grabbed your arm. “Hey.. Wait.. What happened?” He asked. “I just.. Thought you liked me..” you said. “Im sorry.. I cant remember much. But im so sure that i did. Because your so beautiful. And when i look at you i feel a warm fuzzy feeling.” He said. “I have to get going but.. Hopefully ill see you later.” he said. kissing your cheek. ————————————————————————

its been a few days since you saw phil. you missed him. but you pushed those feelings away. you were in the middle of a conversation with a colleagues when phil tapped your shoulder. you turned around. he was holding flowers. “im leaving today. sadly. and.. i cant stop thinking about you.” he said. “i know this is very sudden but.. would you go back to LA with me?” he said. you were gonna protest but he stopped you. “whats holding you back honey?” he said. “my job phil..” you said. “think of it as a vacation. Just come with me. please.” he said. “i.. alright. let me grab a few things” you walked away and grabbed some of your things. “Ill have to go home and grab some clothes—“ he cut you off. “alright.” he wrapped his arm around your shoulder snd brought you to the car. you sat in the front while doug and alan and stu sat in the back. “I take it you found doug?” you said. “yeah.” he said smiling. he brought you to your house and you grabbed a bag full of your clothes and stuff. he helped you put it in the trunk. ———————————————————————— after the wedding ceremony everyone was slow dancing. he grabbed your hand and kissed it. “May i have this dance?” he asked. “you may..” you replied. he smiled and slow danced with you. spinning you gently. “I wanna get to know you. Cause i think im already falling for you.” he said. you stopped. “you are..?” you asked. “Mhm. how couldn’t i? your perfection.” he said. “i think im falling for you too phil..” you said. he smiled and dipped you to the end of the song. you gasped a bit and smiled. he brought you back up.

———————————————————————— after the dancing and everything else. he brought you to his house. he grabbed your bag and put it upstairs. he came back down and he poured two glasses of wine. you sat down on his couch. looking at the pictures of him and his son. “you have a son?” you asked. “Mhm. Thats my boy. Eli.” he said. “Wheres the mother?” you asked. seeing the wedding picture turned over. “Im recently divorced.” he said. “Oh.. Im sorry.” you said. “Its fine babe. She was a bitch anyway.” he said. sitting down and handing you a glass of wine. you took a sip. he smiled as he watched you. you sat the glass down on the table. he moved some hair out of your face. “Your so beautiful.” he said. you smiled. “I love you Y/N.” he said. “i— i love you too phil..” you replied. he smiled and kissed your lips. he tasted like heaven. his lips were soft and gentle. he broke the kiss after a minute. you smiled. after a few minutes of cuddling and drinking wine while learning about eachother, you were in bed together. he was in absolutely nothing but his boxers. you were wearing a silky nightgown. he cuddled up to you. kissing your neck gently. his hard on pressing against you. you turned around and kissed his lips. palming him through his boxers. he groaned. “baby.. p-please.. i need you.. i need to know how you feel..” he said. “this time i wanna remember..” he said. you nodded. he got on top of you. taking your nightgown off. you weren’t wearing anything underneath. he gasped at the sight of you. “jesus christ honey..” he said. you smiled. taking his boxers off. you had forgotten how big his cock was. your mouth watered. he positioned himself at your entrance before sliding in. you moaned. his eyes rolled back and he groaned loudly. he thrusted. “god.. your so tight.. so warm..” he moaned. beginning to pound into you. you moaned his name with every thrust. “goddamn im so close..” you moaned. “i am too babygirl.. cum with me.” he said. you both came. “fuck.. i haven’t cum that fast in years..” he said. pulling out. laying next to you and pulling you close. “i love you baby.” he said. “i love you too.” you said. you fell asleep in his arms after a few minutes. “how did i get so lucky..” he whispered to himself before closing his eyes and going to sleep.

[caramelt4me]

Secret. - Part II

(Yandere Idol X Kidnapped Reader)

‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊

Prologue Part I Part II Part III Part IV Part V

𝕋he sound of chirping sparrows woke you up, as your eyes fluttered open. The rays of the late morning sun had illuminated the bedroom as you blinked lazily - watching the bickering feathery duo outside the window. You groggily let out a small sigh as you shifted under the covers, inhaling his lingering, comforting scent—until you realized something was wrong.

Your eyes shot open, and your hand instinctively reached for the other side of the bed – it was cold, neatly tucked in.

He was gone.

A pang of disappointment and confusion gripped you.

Had he really been here?

You threw off the blanket, your hair tangled and pyjamas askew, as you rushed to the bathroom.

But the shower was dry, untouched.

You swallowed hard, the ache of loneliness resurfacing as you wondered if you had imagined him – that your desperation had conjured him from memory.

Really?

Just two weeks without him.

Is that all it took for you to lose your mind?

When you were about to give up and sink back into the bed, the smell of fresh pancakes drifted into the room.

You froze, the delicious scent pulling you out of your spiralling thoughts.

You followed it, cautiously hopeful, as the soft clinking of cutlery led you to the kitchen – unsure, if your mind was at it again or perhaps, this time it was real.

And then you saw him—standing at the counter, his broad back to you, focused on plating fluffy pancakes. His dark bangs fell over his forehead as he sprinkles powdered sugar over the golden stack, arranging frozen berries with care. There was a small, satisfied smile on his lips as he admired his work, a sight so genuine it made your heart swell.

Without hesitation, you wrapped your arms around him from behind, your hold tight as relief flooded over you.

So you weren’t going insane after all, you sighed – burying your face against his back, as you breathed him in. He let out a surprised but happy sound, gently taking one of your hands and guiding it to rest over his heart, letting you feel and hear his pounding heart – that was beating just for you.

A minute passed in comfortable silence before you finally released him, letting out a ragged exhale to murmur in spite. “I hate you.”

Thump.

You could almost hear his heart skip a beat as he turned around to face you in a heartbeat – your eyes fixated on a flour stain on his apron, as you waited for him to react; hopefully upset.

A part of you was puzzled by your own behaviour. Why were you so intent on pushing his buttons?

Yet, a deeper, more wounded part of you demanded that he suffer, even if only a little – the torment he had brought upon you.

But instead, you felt his warm big hands cup your face.

His soft lips captured yours tenderly.

You could taste the lingering flavour of the frozen berries, perhaps he had tasted some while making breakfast for you. You felt a sense of warmth bloom inside your chest, as his one hand pulled you into an embrace – the other one caressing your flushed cheek, before he deepened the kiss.

Your eyes momentarily met his intoxicating blue ones, peering through his dark bangs- as they begged to be the one to melt away all your pain and frustration.

A dark sense of pleasure washed over you as you accepted his desperate, lovesick plea. In that moment, you basked in the warmth of his fervent devotion – utterly consumed by the addictive taste of his lips.

Then suddenly, a silly thought interrupted the moment.

You hadn’t brushed your teeth yet.

Embarrassed, you quickly pulled away from the kiss to confess.

“I-I haven’t brushed yet,” You stammered, pursing your lips in, as you refused to look him in the eye.

You wanted to disappear or atleast rewind time.

You hadn't even brushed your teeth, let alone showered, while he was all spruced up, making your favourite breakfast.

How could you not keep up with the personal hygiene? you thought. You were meeting each other after a fortnight for God’s sake!

But instead of mutually going along with the dealbreaker, Asher seemed to have a different opinion on that matter.

“So?” He chuckled, unfazed. His blue eyes gazing at you with a playful smirk, his thumb tracing the curve of your withdrawn lip. “Is that supposed to be a problem, baby?”

“Y-Yeah, it’s just… I’m, um, filthy right now. I haven’t even showered or brushed, so how can I –”

“So am I.” He gave a little grin, gesturing to his apron covered in flour and powdered sugar. “Don’t worry, we can take a shower together after breakfast if you want.” He chuckled, licking a bit of sugar from his finger.

“N-No, you don’t understand. I…” You struggled to continue, flushed red as you did not want to admit that you hadn’t showered in a while.

You hardly remembered what day it was.

You couldn’t help but realize how matted your hair must have gotten in that joke of a messy bun that was probably not washed for days and your pyjamas were…well, wrinkled and indecent to say the least.

The more you noticed, the more were you disgusted by the self-neglect. So, you took a step back from him. “We can’t do this right now. I’m too dirty for it. I’m sorry.”

But your apology was brushed aside as he stepped forward, gently pulling you into his arms again as his azure eyes studied your face like a true Siren. “Why not? I said I’m dirty too, didn’t I?”

“I-It’s not the same—”

“Says who,” His low voice whispered into your ear as his hot breath fanned your neck – his dark bangs brushing against your skin – sending shivers down your spine as you exhaled sharply.

You heard him chuckle to your cute reaction, but then your eyes widened as you felt him begin to smooch down your neck.

“Asher!—S-Stop it—I’m serious, I haven’t showered in days--”

“Mm-hm,” he hummed politely in between his wet kisses, as his one hand possessively locked you in place by your waist while the other had its tantalizing thumb on your parted lips – consciously trying to lull you to silence.

Utterly flustered, you are barely able to protest any longer as his lips worked magic on your skin—igniting and extinguishing the flame in a vicious cycle that kept you wanting more of him.

Shame seemed unable to linger too long in the way, when you both were together. He had made sure it had become so, as you feverishly bit his thumb when you had enough of his teasing.

Almost immediately, his lips stopped serving your flustered wet neck.

Finally, you had the upper hand.

…Or did you?

He leaned back, His blue eyes looked deep and lustful as his face came into your view. A soft blush spread across his cheeks to match yours, as he smiled – his lips lusciously swollen from all that hardwork. He leaned in to kiss you again, this time with a hungry, unrestrained passion, as though he couldn’t bear another moment without you.

His mouth moved with yours, tongues intertwining in a rhythm as natural as breathing – before his organ begged to be dominated by yours, gently poking the roof of your mouth as a sign.  You fulfilled his request – wrapping your tongue around his, in a constricting embrace that you had come to learn from your lover himself.

He moaned—shamelessly, giving you the butterflies in your stomach in an instant. You were basically choking him, but it only seemed to further arouse him– his azure eyes hazy with lustful ecstasy as they reflected only you in them.  

You weren’t out of breath yet, but you could see that his face had grown pale from the lack of oxygen – still, he showed no signs of pulling away. His arms wrapped around your waist seem to lose their strength, but refused let go.

You were quite literally sucking the lifeforce out of him, yet he was completely, utterly bewitched by you.

It was dangerous yet thrilling to know the power you held over this man. 

You knew he wouldn’t even hesitate to rip out his own heart for you if you asked.

And so, before it was too late, you cupped his pale face and pulled away – blood rushing to his head in an instant.

He gasped, his azure eyes dizzy from the impact before they focused back on you as he continued to pant to catch his breath – his chest rose and fell rapidly as he looked at you in daze. Your eyes flickered to his wet luscious lips as your hand reached up to wipe the drool off its corner.

He nuzzled his face into your palm, letting you know how touch-starved he still was for you – his Siren eyes trying to draw you in for another round. Clearly, the two weeks apart had been difficult for him too.

However, as you felt your stomach rumble – although not an embarrassingly loud growl, it did successfully kill the mood.

“We should eat. The pancakes must be cold by now. I’ll go freshen up and come.”

The sound of clinking silverware cut through the silence as you finished the last few bites of your pancakes. You absently tugged a stray strand of your freshly shampooed hair behind your ear, your eyes drifting over to Asher from time to time.

Much to his reluctance, your lover had excused himself to take a call. You could tell it was important, the way he had hurriedly stepped away, knowing that he would usually ignore any call or silence his phone if it weren’t pressing.

He paced on the balcony, his voice muffled as he spoke, and even from a distance, you could see the tension in his posture. His shoulders were tight, his brow furrowed in concentration, and he made an effort to avoid showing how upset he was. But when his icy blue eyes flickered to meet yours – they softened, and he rolled his eyes playfully before pointing at the phone as if to say, Can you believe this?

You smiled back at him, the small gesture briefly distracting you from the quiet discomfort that you couldn’t quite place. You glanced down at his plate—empty except for a few dull remnants of sweet potato and chicken breast, unseasoned and uninspiring. It was in moments like these that you were reminded of the stark contrast between your life and his.

Despite you being the anomaly in his world, Asher’s life was one of precision, order, and discipline. Even on his days off, his routine was regimented. He stuck to his strict diet, his multi-step skincare regimen, and hours in the gym—an unyielding schedule that was hard for anyone to follow, let alone someone who had never been in the same kind of shape.

Your own routine couldn’t have been more different. You spent most of your days tucked in bed, listening to podcasts, snacking on junk food, and occasionally picking up new hobbies, like art or crocheting, though you were already beginning to grow bored of them.

Were you born this useless? Surely, you would have done something redeeming or noteworthy in the past, you huffed in self-annoyance – but didn’t try to pry through your dense mental fog for any answers.

It was hard not to feel inferior next to him. After all, he was a K-pop idol—handsome, admired, constantly managing his weight and appearance. Yet, Asher never pressured you to adopt his extreme habits.

In fact, when you’d expressed curiosity about his meals, he refused to let you try them, even though his meals were a far cry from the comfort food you enjoyed. Instead, he would stock the pantry with a variety of fresh, tasty meals for you to choose from every day.

You did skip meals sometimes, and Asher had intervened in the beginning – but he soon realized it wasn’t a pattern. Some days you ate more than others, sometimes you ate late, and it made sense to skip a meal the next time. Your lifestyle was more sedentary, with the only exercise being short walks around the cabin, so once he realized that, he stopped worrying about your food intake.

As for skincare, he had offered to walk you through his meticulous routine, but he never pushed it beyond simple steps—just a cleanser and moisturizer for you. Though, whenever he was around, he was always eager to pamper you, practically jumping at the opportunity to give you the “princess treatment” and carry out the full regimen himself.

He really just wanted an excuse to be handsy, didn’t he? You chuckled to yourself.

But as the sound of the balcony door sliding closed snapped you out of your thoughts, you looked up to see Asher walking back inside. His smile was warm as he made his way to the table, sitting next to you.

“Did you like the pancakes, baby?” he asked, his voice casual, though there was a hint of eagerness beneath. “I used a new maple syrup—imported from Canada. One of my fans recommended it. If you like it, I’ll keep using it.”

You couldn’t help but watch as he picked at the leftover berries on your plate. Normally, he wouldn’t touch something so sweet, but when it was your leftovers, he couldn’t resist. It was a little game between the two of you—leaving just enough so he could indulge that secret sweet tooth of his.

But this time, your mind wasn’t entirely present. The mention of his fans triggered something in you, a strange feeling that made you pause.

Right. The fans.

You hadn’t thought about that part of his life in a while—how thousands of people admired him, constantly vying for his attention, hoping for a chance to be close to him. Had you ever been one of his Moonbeams? Was that how you met him? Through a fan-meet, maybe?

No… You had never been his fan.

In fact, it felt like you had come into his life from a different place, one you couldn’t quite remember. A vague sense of something long lost pushed at the edges of your consciousness – something buried deep, but it slipped away as quickly as it appeared.

The pressure in your head mounted, memories teetering on the brink of surfacing, but they couldn’t quite reach you. A sharp pain sliced through your thoughts, and you clutched your temples, vision blurring as sudden darkness took over.

When you opened your eyes again, you found yourself lying in bed, cradled in Asher’s arms. His face was buried against your shoulder, his body trembling with the weight of an unspoken fear. You could feel the dampness on his skin from the silent tears he had shed while you were unconscious.

For how long though?

You glanced at the digital clock on the wall and realized it was the next day – evening to be precise.

As you stirred further, he woke, his blue eyes wide with concern as he cupped your face gently. “Are you feeling okay, baby? Does your head still hurt?”

You nodded, your voice quiet as you reassured him. The puffiness under his eyes and the redness hinted at the sleepless night he must have had.

And of course, you had made him cry again.

You hated that.

Hated making him worry like this.

It made you want to surrender completely to the comfort of his presence, to forget about everything that didn’t matter anymore. After all, you were his—and he was yours. That was all that should matter, right?

But there was that gnawing feeling, the white noise buzzing in the background, refusing to settle.

“Did you forget to take your weekly medicine?” he asked, his expression turning serious. “The last time was over two weeks ago, wasn’t it?”

The mention of the medicine made you falter. It was the one thing that helped keep the fog in your mind at bay, the one thing that calmed the racing, fragmented thoughts.

But you hadn’t taken it recently, had you?

It wasn’t intentional, but it made sense why you were feeling more scattered, more lost in your thoughts.

His voice was soft, but insistent. “Baby?”

You nodded hesitantly, watching as he left your side to fetch the medicine box. But instead of the usual tablet strips, he returned with a small vial and a sealed syringe.

A chill ran down your spine.

Needles.

You didn’t like them—though you couldn’t remember why, there was something about them that unsettled you. The memory of that unease, however faint, lingered just out of reach.

Before you could protest, Asher had already prepared the syringe, his hands steady and precise as he slid the needle into your vein.

The warmth of the liquid spread quickly, a dizzying sensation settling over you as the drug took effect. The familiar fog rolled in, dulling your mind, erasing the sharp edges of your memories.

Asher carefully disposed of the syringe, his eyes never leaving you as he returned to your side. He tucked the blanket around you, his fingers brushing gently through your hair, a tender touch that spoke of his love and concern.

“You’ll feel better soon,” he murmured, his voice soft and soothing, a lullaby to your drugged mind. He kissed your forehead, lingering for a moment longer than necessary, as if to ground you in his presence.

“Just relax, baby. I’m here.”

His words, like the medicine, blanketed your mind, pushing away all doubts and lingering questions. You closed your eyes, feeling the overwhelming calm wash over you.

All that mattered was him.

All that mattered was now.

And as the dizziness deepened and your thoughts faded, you felt yourself slipping back into unconsciousness – wrapped in his warmth and the hazy, comforting fog that took over.

‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊

@shadowytravelerlover

[ftwdb]

Don't Say Go

Chapter 19

Summary: Soulmates find each other through what is known as The Pull. A sense within a persons body that their soulmate is within reach that guides them to find them. You find yourself following this Pull, guided by vague dreams of a man you can't quite see, until you collapse in the wild and are found by Troy, your soulmate, who has been following the same feeling toward you for days.

Once connected soulmates are able to share emotions through their bond, as well as being able to sense where the other is. But how this force works is very much a mystery still, it can vary from soulmate to soulmate, and just sometimes a connection too deep can lead twist a bond from something beautiful to, well...

Warnings: Dark themes, sexual content, violence, non-graphic description/implications of SA, child abuse and domestic violence. References to addiction. Unhealthy love/obsession/relationships. Soulmate AU. Eventual smut. Love triangle.

You made it back to the ranch undetected and spent the rest of the night curled up beside Troy in the med tent. You didn’t sleep, constantly listening for noise. Voices or gunfire, the truck’s engines. But nothing came. You were just about fading into sleep as the sun began to rise when Troy made a sound, his eyes flickering open.

“Troy?” you say, hopefully.

His blue eyes find you and his lips twitch in a smile.

“I’ll get Jake—“

His hand grabs yours, he must have used all his strength to keep you beside him.

“No. Not yet. Stay.”

You hesitated, scared that something could go wrong. But as his eyes focused on yours you couldn’t resist, sensing his need for you. You lay back down beside him, looking him in the eye and speaking gently.

“What were you thinking huh?”

Troy doesn’t need to ask what you mean.

“Kept you safe…” he says weakly.

You shake your head.

“Not like that. Please. Never like that again.”

Troy looks confused, his brow furrowing before he winces with the pain in causes in his head.

“Have to. Do anything…”

You sigh, understanding the feeling. Remembering your own rage and desperation when you’d seen him brought in covered in blood and unmoving.

You gently run a hand through his curls, avoiding the parts that were clumped with his blood. You sigh.

“I know. I know.”

He closes his eyes, his lips turning up as he makes a low sound in his throat. Then he says something so quiet you’re sure you hadn’t heard him right and lean closer, your heart pounding.

“What… what did you say?”

His eyes open slowly, foggy but focused on your face.

“Marry me.”

It wasn’t a question. Your heart pounds. It was an inevitability. You stare.

“Marry… you?”

Troy smirks.

“You gonna say no?”

You shake your head.

“Of course not… but… you’re injured and probably concussed and it’s the end of the world anyway, who gets married in the apocalypse? Does marriage even mean anything anymore? Does it matter what denomination we are or can we just make up whatever we want—“

Somehow Troy had found the strength to lift his head and kiss you, until he fell back against the pillow looking green.

“Bad idea. Gonna puke.”

“Shit,” you grab a bowl and prepare to help him. “Well, if that wasn’t the most romantic proposal ever…”

You watch as Troy sucks in a deep breath, steeling himself against the urge to vomit. His hand presses to his bandaged head and the IV in his arm tugs awkwardly. He grunts and pulls it out in frustration.

“Don’t-“ You try and stop him but he’s already groaning again. “I’m getting Jake—“

“Already here.” Jake’s voice is cutting as you turn and see him striding over, rolling up his sleeves. You feel his eyes chastise you for not fetching him sooner.

“He just woke up.”

Jake ignores you and immediately checks Troy’s vitals. Even though he looks like crap Troy smirks at his big brother.

“Did I have you worried?”

Jake’s expression is grim, “You always have me worried, little brother.”

“That I do Jakey. That I do.”

You watch as Jake does his work, moving off the bed even when Troy looks at you longingly. Jake grumbles under his breath, you can’t hear him but Troy chuckles at whatever he says.

“Can I do anything?”

Jake gives you a dark look.

“You can stay right there, so I know where you are.”

Your heart drops. Did he know where you'd gone last night?

You look down at your feet hoping Troy wasn’t able to pick up on the tension, but of course he could sense your anxiety growing by the second.

“What is it?” He asks, gently at first. When you don’t answer he turns to Jake, practically barking at him. “What happened?”

Jake shakes his head.

“Doesn’t matter. You’re on leave from your duties until further notice.”

Troy somehow manages to go an even paler shade of pale.

“What? The hell I am—!”

“Dad’s orders.” Jake snaps back.

You watch the brothers argue, shifting awkwardly on the spot with nothing to do or distract you until you speak up uncertainly.

“It’s just until he heals, right?”

Jake’s expression says it all and Troy’s eyes go dark. “Where is he? Where’s Dad? I can talk to him—“

Jake pressed a hand to Troy’s shoulder and pushes him back on the bed when Troy tries to get up. You move forward to put a reassuring hand on Troy’s arm as you look at Jake in confusion.

“Why would Jeremiah do that?”

Jake’s eyes snap to yours and you can see what he is thinking, can see his surprise that you’d even need to ask after Troy had gone off on a group of survivors who hadn't provoked them. You look away, ashamed slightly. You’d forgotten that what you and Troy might see as necessities for survival - no matter how brutal - still crossed the line for some people.

Thankfully Troy seemed too agitated to sense your feelings about the situation as he was trying to get off the bed again, knocking everything askew as his limbs flailed with an uncharacteristic lack of coordination.

“Troy! Please, settle down!” You handle him much more gently than Jake who looks like he is tempted to knock Troy unconscious again.

“He can’t do this!” Troy snaps. “The Militia is mine! He can’t take it away from me!”

Jake curses and slams Troy back on the bed. You jump back, surprised by Jake’s aggression as he gets in Troy’s face. “Of course he can! After what you pulled! Do you have any idea what you’ve done?”

You stare at Jake, realising you were missing something here. Troy merely stares at his big brother for a moment before his mouth curls in a snarl.

“There he is. Jeremiah Junior. You’re more like dad than you want people to see.”

You frown at that, sensing the tension building between them. Feeling something in Troy… something mixed in with his anger and resentment.

Sadness?

Pain?

You press a hand on Jake’s shoulder, your eyes set.

“Let me see to Troy. Go get some air.”

You knew he didn’t have to obey you. You had no authority and you were just a scrap of a thing yourself, barely recovered from almost dying of malnutrition and exposure. But Jake scoffed and stormed away, the flap to the tent whipping out dramatically around him. You look down at Troy.

“You wanna tell me what that was about.”

Troy grunts and relaxes slightly, his body still exuding tension.

“Just… brother stuff.”

“You can’t lie to me,” you sit down beside him again and gently boop his nose. “I can feel it.”

Troy raises an eyebrow, calling your bluff.

“Ok so maybe not exactly. But I can tell there’s something you’re hiding…”

Troy looks away from you, his expression difficult to read and his emotions even more so. It was like trying to grab hold of something in a wind tunnel, one feeling after the other flying around you. You couldn’t get a grip on what was going on. And yet all that betrayed his inner turmoil was the tension of his mouth and the narrowing of his eyes. You lean down and kiss his cheek, gently.

“Let me go and get a fresh bandage for your head. Then we can talk.”

Troy’s hand snaps out an grabs your own. Your left hand. His eyes travel up your arm and to your face as his thumb gently strokes your ring finger.

“You didn’t answer.” Troy says quietly.

You hesitate.

“I didn’t know if you meant it…”

Troy’s eyes fix on you and you feel your chest expand with emotion, all consuming, needy, desperate and wanting…

Troy’s feelings.

“I never say something I don’t mean.”

He tells you this as he tugs you closer. You lean over him, confused by his sudden change in mood. He’d gone from angrily cursing his father to… this. Looking at you like you were the last sip of water in the desert.

“I… Troy, is it something you really want?”

His eyes are glued on yours and you can tell he is also picking through your emotions. You chew your lip, hoping he won’t be offended by your reluctance. Your doubts. Because they weren’t about him. Not at all…

“What are you afraid of?” Troy asks as he tucks your hair behind your ear.

You take a long breath as you try and figure out how to answer.

“I just never thought marriage really mattered… especially with a soulmate. I’m already yours, right? And you’re mine?” You try not to think about Nick. About the confusing feeling in your heart and gut that you were desperately trying to suppress.

Troy regards you curiously for a moment and you focus on your feelings for him. The sense of safety and belonging he gives you. He seems to relax.

“You are. And I am.”

You smile.

“I’m not saying no… just… it doesn’t mean more to me than just being with you as we are. But if marriage is something you want, that you need… then I’ll say yes. Always yes, Troy.”

His face breaks into a smile you’d never seen on him before.

“You will?”

You could laugh at the sudden boyishness about him.

“Yes Troy. I will… or I do. Whatever it is people say now.”

You’re pulled down to kiss him, trying not to fall against him in his injured state but Troy doesn’t seem to care. He’s all wild tongue and teeth and hands in your hair, holding on tight as you try to keep from passing out from lack of air. Eventually he relents and you’re able to sit up, head spinning slightly.

“Whoa…”

He sniggers at your reaction.

“Still got it, even half-dead.”

You slap his chest playfully.

“You’re crazy, you know that?”

“So I’ve been told.” Troy’s expression softens as he looks at you, all flustered and pink cheeked now. “You’re beautiful, have I told you that before?”

You feel your cheeks colour, “You're concussed.”

Troy’s lips are a wonky smile.

"Yeah, but I'm right."

You shake your head and sigh.

"I am not arguing with an invalid."

Troy makes a face.

"Don't call me that. You might as well say I'm impotent."

You feel your cheeks flush, knowing he just doesn't like being injured and feeling like he wasn't useful. Troy seems to catch your embarrassment and his lips twitch.

"Something on your mind?"

You make sure to keep your expression blank when you reply.

"Of course not. Not at all. Why?"

"No reason. Except I can feel what your thinking."

You curse the bond you share for a moment before you remember what you had learned about your connection through The Pull.

"Troy... you know that this thing we share isn't... normal. Right?"

Troy watches you for a moment before shrugging.

"So?"

You look at him with surprise as he settled himself more comfortably on the bed, looking tired again.

"You knew?"

"I think we should talk about this later. Not here. Not now."

You nod.

"Okay..." You watch as Troy closes his eyes. "Are you in pain? Shall I get you something?"

He nods slowly, a hand reaching out for you. When you take it he tugs you toward him gently.

"Just... stay with me for a while."

You settle on the edge of the bed beside him as he lays with his eyes closed. After a few moments you start to softly run your hands through the curls on his head, pausing when he makes a noise in his throat. One eye opens and he smirks.

"Don't stop."

You smile back.

"Only because you're hurt. Don't expect me to be so nice all the time."

Troy chuckles as he tilts he head toward you more.

"Noted. I'll milk this moment for all its worth then. Do I get a sponge bath too?"

You're glad his eyes are closed as you feel your cheeks heat up. You tug his hair slightly harder as a warning for him not to get too cheeky. Troy grins.

"I like that."

Oh Jesus.

"Just.. get some rest."

"Yes, ma'am."

You sigh and continue to run your fingers through his hair until you're sure he's asleep. When he's breathing deeply you pause, looking around and listening for approaching footsteps. When you hear nothing you lean forward and rest your cheek on his chest, closing your own eyes and listening to the steady beat of his heart. The sound brings you comfort, a sense of calm. You close your eyes. This was where you belonged, no matter what was going on with Nick and The Pull. It must have been a fluke. A rare mistake somehow.

Troy was your soulmate.

This was home.

Right?

[scribbledghost]

The Visitor - Part VII

Pairing: Vessel x Fem!Reader (Vessel the character, not the real man behind the mask)

Rating: G

Word count: 1,813

Summary: The vessels convene to discuss a certain someone.

Notes: 3rd person POV, use of she/her pronouns for reader. Hi I'm back for more :) Part six can be found here. || Part eight can be found here.

You are doing so well, my vessel.

The words hang thickly in Vessel’s skull, a sick sense of unease taking root in his chest.

She trusts you, Sleep says. She will heed your words when the time comes.

He turns to his visitor as the two of them wander through the domain, hand-in-hand. The visions have been light lately, surely a ploy on Sleep’s part to make the woman associate Vessel with an ease in her pain. To add to it, Sleep has not called Vessel away in some time, which in the past would have been most unusual.

It appears Sleep has decided that Vessel has more important business to attend to; namely, manipulating the woman next to him.

However, as Sleep seems to be in a jovial mood at present, Vessel decides to play his luck.

I wish to commune with the others, he says. Privately, should you see fit.

Sleep becomes apprehensive.

I am certain I will need their aid to convince her to convert, he explains. I would like to discuss… strategies.

And is there a reason why you must do so in private?

Merely to lessen the chance of her overhearing. She would not be able to follow us into the red forest.

Sleep is skeptical, of that much Vessel is certain. At first, he is worried it will refuse, that it will force him to convene with the others and discuss how to manipulate the woman in the open.

But just this once, fate seems to smile upon him.

Your request is granted, Sleep says. Leave her at the entrance. No harm will come to her while you gather.

You have my eternal thanks, Vessel grovels.

With that, he senses Sleep sending out a signal to the others, instructing them to meet Vessel. He leads his visitor to an opening in the world, framed by red moss that leads to a tunnel. Beyond it is a forest, full of red trees like the one he plucked the white ribbon around her wrist from.

It is the one place in existence in which Sleep cannot hear nor see what transpires. If he is to bring the others into his fold, it will have to be done here.

“I will not be long,” Vessel assures her, pressing a gentle kiss to her lips. “All you must do is wait here. Sleep has assured me that you will be safe.”

“And you… trust Sleep?” she asks, clearly unsure.

“I do,” Vessel replies, using every bit of power he has to seem convincing.

This seems to placate her, and he makes his way through the tunnel and into the forest.

He climbs over moss-covered rocks, through red branches, and towards the heart of the foliage. He wishes to hold this meeting in the deepest parts of the woods, hopefully as far away from Sleep’s prying eyes as he can manage. He waits for a moment, sitting alone with his thoughts until he hears footsteps come to join him.

“This is about the woman, isn’t it?” III says as he emerges through the trees.

“It is.”

“Sleep wants her for itself,” II interjects, following close behind. IV is the last to arrive, though not much later.

“So I take it we’re here to discuss how to get her to convert?” IV asks.

Vessel remains silent for a beat.

“No.”

Three sets of eyes turn to him. More silence falls, this time an uncomfortable one.

Slowly, Vessel begins to explain the situation to them. He explains how Sleep does want him to ensure she converts, but he is determined to see her home. The others share looks of uncertainty and concern, but make no move to stop Vessel as he explains his desires.

“Ves…” II says slowly when he finishes. “Do you really think you can overcome Sleep itself?”

“With aid, yes,” Vessel says. “I know it is only a matter of time before Sleep summons her to offer her a place here. And I am sure we will all be in attendance when it does so. If we unite on this front and protect her, surely she will refuse to convert. If she refuses, then Sleep will have no choice but to return her to her own time and place.”

“Do you not worry for her safety?” II asks.

“It cannot harm her the way it can harm me,” Vessel replies. “As she is mortal, Sleep has less power over her. It can use her to harm me, it can mimic her screams, but in the end, it cannot physically harm her.”

“And what about us?” IV asks. “Surely Sleep will destroy us along with you if we interfere.”

Vessel pauses.

“I wish to… discuss something with all of you. A very important fact that, over the many eons I have resided her as a vessel for Sleep, I had forgotten.”

The others patiently wait for him to continue.

“Sleep cannot exist without a vessel.”

A look is sent around the group.

“Should we all relinquish its grasp at the same time, it will have no power over us. If each of us rebel at the same time, perhaps we can overcome it.”

“And if it’s not enough?” III asks.

“...I am not saying it is without risk,” Vessel says. “But I trust each of you implicitly, and if it does succeed… we may all be able to be free of Sleep’s control.”

More silence falls as the others contemplate their decisions. It is a momentous decision to make, one that is fraught with danger and uncertainty. The stakes are enormous, and the price of failure is steeper than any of them can imagine. No creature in living memory has ever attempted to fight against Sleep at all, let alone attempt to overcome it altogether. There is no precedent for this, and Vessel knows this well.

“I need time to consider,” II says.

Vessel nods.

“Of course. I cannot stay here much longer, I must return. But each of you are free to make your decision. When you have done so, bring me a ribbon. White for yes, black for no. I will ask no questions. And no matter your decision, I will bear no ill will.”

“Simple enough,” III says.

With that, the group adjourns, and Vessel leaves them to discuss his proposition among themselves. He has no need to stay and attempt to persuade them one way or another; there is little he could say to sway them in either direction. Added to the fact that he has long since made up his mind, and it results in him simply not needing to be present.

As he makes his way back towards the mossy tunnel, however, Vessel falters.

What if any of them decline? What if any one of them offer him a black ribbon in the coming days? He is all but certain his plan will fail without all of them on one united front.

No, he mustn't allow himself to doubt them. He knows all of them are just as eager to be free of Sleep’s grip as he is – surely they will join him.

They must. Or all of this will be for naught.

He returns his thoughts to more neutral ground as he exits the tunnel, relieved to find his visitor patiently waiting where he had left her. She smiles brightly at him.

“Where are the others?” she asks as she stands.

“They remained behind,” Vessel says, placing a hand on her lower back to guide her away from the red moss. “There were some things they needed to discuss.”

Thankfully she accepts this answer, and allows him to lead her through the hues of gray that surrounds them. He brings her back to the red ribbon tree, bringing her to sit with him beneath its branches. She curls into his side as if she has made a home there, and Vessel softly kisses the crown of her head as she rests against him.

They fall into pleasant conversation, Vessel telling her the stories of the realm’s various creatures and talking of the upcoming musical ritual that she is to attend. In turn, she regales him with stories of her life outside of the domain, causing Vessel’s chest to ache. The way she speaks indicates she has much to life for – many things and people and places she longs to return to.

She is very different from how Vessel was when he had first arrived in Sleep’s realm, alone and resigned and defeated. Sleep tends to prey on the most vulnerable. So why had it chosen someone who had anything worth returning for?

The break is sweeter when it is fought for, my vessel.

He could vomit.

The woman next to him senses the shift in his demeanor, for she falls quiet as she turns to look at him.

“You okay?”

He returns her gaze, his features softening as he leans in to kiss her.

“I am fine, beloved,” he says softly. “Simply thinking, that is all.”

“About what?”

“Many things. Things you need not be concerned about.”

“You seem awfully concerned about them,” she teases.

“Ah, feeling mischievous, are we?” he says with a smile, reaching over to poke at her sides. “Even a bit nosy, perhaps?”

He continues to poke at her, basking in the glow of her giggles and laughter a he does so. He hopes his actions will be enough to steer her mind away from what plagues him.

Time passes and the two of them end up entwined beneath the ribbon tree, both of them laughing softly as they enjoy each other’s presence. They shift slowly down, from sitting positions to laying as Vessel wraps her in his arms. His lips find hers, his hand resting against her cheek as his thumb gently caresses the skin there.

Vessel is unsure of how much time passes in this moment; it could be minutes, or it could be hours. Either way, when he finally pulls away just far enough to rest his forehead against hers, he hears footsteps approach from behind the tree.

Slowly extracting himself from her, he sits up, following the sound until II appears from around the gargantuan trunk. He approaches silently, both fists closed, and stops in front of Vessel. By this time, the woman has sat up beside him, curiously looking between the two of them.

After a moment’s silence, II reaches a hand out, offering Vessel something. When Vessel raises an open palm, II opens his own hand and places it upon Vessel’s. When he retracts it, he closes Vessel’s hand into a fist.

He says no words, instead opting to simply nod before making his way into the monotone ether.

The woman beside him gives him a questioning look as he brings his hand down and opens it.

There in his palm lay a white ribbon.

[horangboosadan]

PRETTY U | LEE JIHOON [2]

pairing: lee jihoon x gender neutral!reader

genre: one shot smau, established relationship, fluff, 5+1

summary: five times woozi isn't avaliable in person, and one time he is. a sequel to PRETTY U (can be read as a standalone) - requested by @winterwallacehenderson

warnings: very vague haikyu!! manga spoilers (it doesn't say anything about what happens, but mentions arcs in the manga, technically not spoilers, but im warning anyways to cover all my bases)

main masterlist

boo talks

this was so much fun to write. i love woozi and i loved writing pretty u so much that when i got asked to write a somewhat sequel to it, i couldn't stop myself. i hope you like this, @/winterwallacehenderson and that you enjoy reading it as much as i did writing it! also the haikyu!! rant is specifically for @secondcupforyou because i couldn't help myself and we've already ranted together about this. i do want to state that the fullmetal alchemist we talk about here is brotherhood (and that i did pick that anime bc its my own fav i own all volumes of the manga and have seen the show more than a few times, but i also decided to pick animes ive watched and this isnt all of them but they were on my mind). anyways, im rambling.

im trying to get to all the requests because they're a lot of fun, but they take longer than i expect them too. hope it's worth the wait! and thank you all for the attention to the seungkwan smau, im so excited to start posting whenever that will be, but all your excitement gives me so much motivation to finish it that it hopefully wont be that long!

fill out this form if you want to be added to the taglist

[joemothersfavoritechild]

“across the street” pt. 2

-3k-ish words

-mike schmidt x fem!reader

-no trauma au

an: thanks for all the love on my last post!! i took some inspiration from a few joel miller fics for this one. also, referring to the ending, gotta let it marinate or sum. and if you get the orange reference, marry me.

summary: you have a late night phone call with yk who, and build furniture in the morning.

part one is here!

————————————————————————————

You plopped down in your chair, sighing while rubbing hand sanitizer over your hands. Your shift had been busy as hell, this being the first break you had all day, and it was only halfway over. You wiped your now clean hands over your eyes, trying to rub the tired soreness out of them. At least the pay is good, you thought.

Your coworker calling your name pulled you away from your thoughts.

“25 wants you again.” They said.

“Why me?” You whined.

“I don’t know, I think she prefers women.” They answered your rhetorical, giving you a sympathetic smile.

“Fuck me, I’m going to have to take my lunch after this. I’m never working another Sunday.” You said, standing up on your practically creaking legs.

This was how the rest of your afternoon went, running in all directions like a chicken with its head cut off. “23 wants an ice cream,” “25 pulled out her IV again,” “Call security on 26, he’s trying to leave.” It was an absolute shit show, you hardly had a chance to see the time on your phone, let alone check for a text that you were desperate to receive.

Your drive home was quiet, soft music playing to hopefully decompress you. It always seemed to help. You pulled into your driveway, noticing the lights on at a certain someone’s house across the street, his old Accord telling you that he was home. You turned your car off, trying to stop looking at it from your rearview.

Walking into your house wasn’t as satisfying as you’d hoped, boxes still covering the floor. You took your shoes off as you set your work bag on the ground. You looked at your bed frame again in the dark, not bothering to turn a light on. Was a day too early to expect a message? Was that considered desperate? Probably, you thought. But fuck, you were so desperate. He checked all the boxes,

cute? : check

siblings? : check

caring? : check

a little mean? : check

dorky as hell? : check

abandonment issues? : probably check!

You forced yourself to pull your eyes off the box. As the saying goes, a watched fish doesn’t get caught.

That’s not right, you think. Your tired brain can’t decipher what you were trying to go for, but you knew it would’ve worked.

Anyways, constantly thinking about someone texting you doesn’t help anything. You plugged your phone into the charger near the couch, purposefully ignoring staring at it for too long.

Your eyes fell back to the boxes surrounding you. You passed them all, going straight to your bathroom to shower.

The shower was the right call, you decided. Scorching water loosened your muscles and kept your mind in the present. Washing the outside world off your skin was the highlight of your day.

You got out of the shower, eventually. The warm water didn’t last as long as you had hoped, though it did try. Your nearly hour-long shower would overwhelm any water heater on the market. You quickly dried yourself off, taking the time to brush your teeth and apply your skincare before wrapping your towel around yourself and stepping into your bedroom. You threw on some pajamas from your suitcase that moved with you; pajama pants and an old shirt.

You balled up your work clothes into your towel and put them all in the laundry basket in the corner of your room, already beginning to overflow. You reminded yourself to start the laundry sometime tomorrow as you walked back to your temporary bed, the large green couch in your living room.

You pulled back the covers on the couch, piling into it. You had completely decked it out; two blankets, a comforter, two pillows (one for your head, one for between your legs), and the fan dialed up. You closed your eyes, listening to the white noise of the fan above you.

You were interrupted by the shrill noise of your phone ringing behind you. You groaned, folding your blankets over so you could get off the couch and walk to the charger. You ripped your phone off the charger, taking it with you as you laid back into your bed. You re-adjusted your blankets before pulling the phone under your ear and swiping to accept the call.

“Hello?” You said groggily.

“Hey.” A voice responded. It took you a moment, but eventually, you recognized it. You were suddenly awake with nervousness.

“Hey, Mike.”

“Hi. Um, I texted you,” He said, sounding more like a question than a comment. “A few times, not a big deal. I just wanted to make sure you were alive.” He joked.

You paused, trying to quickly check your messages.

“You there?” He asked.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m here. Sorry, I’ve been working all day. It was super busy, so I didn’t have time to check my phone, and when I got home all I was thinking about was sleep.” You described.

“No need to be sorry, I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You’re okay?”

“I’m okay.” You responded.

“Good, good,” He pauses. “So, um, how was your day?”

“Pretty shitty.” You summarize, hearing him laugh in the background.

“Tell me about it.”

So, you did. You proceeded to tell him all the gritty details about your job. What your coworkers are like, the patients that you had to deal with, the frequent fliers, all of it. He asked a lot of questions, making you feel more comfortable rambling on to him.

“What’d you have for lunch?” He asked.

“I had leftover wingstop, I barely have any food at the house.”

“What’s your order?”

“Eight-piece boneless, classic hot. With fries, ranch, and a huge coke. It was amazing,” You said, practically salivating remembering it. “What about you and Abs?” You asked.

“It was very fancy, I don’t know if you’re prepared to hear me talk about it, you might be jealous,” He said sarcastically. “I made cheese quesadillas.”

You laughed a little too long at that, surprised. He was funny, another check.

You talked on the phone for a while, so long that you were talking about the most boring stuff. Like how Abby was a picky eater, and it annoyed Mike because all he wanted to do was eat a good burger now and again. It was sickly sweet and felt like being a teenager again. Whispering as to not wake your parents up, hoping that they wouldn’t catch you up past your bedtime.

You’re not sure when it happened, but you fell asleep on the phone. Mike was talking about something, maybe about the tv show he had been watching. You’re not exactly positive, but you know that you passed out cold.

Your eyes fluttered open, the phone still pressed up against your cheek, warm from the contact. You blinked rapidly, trying to keep your dream in your mind. You had to think hard, as it was delicate. If you let it go, you’d never remember what it was.

It was a good dream, as most of yours tended to be. You didn’t remember a lot, only pieces of it. But you knew Mike was there. You knew that he had led you to your bed, pulling you under the covers with him. You talked, cuddling close to him. God, it had felt so real. You could practically see the lines under his eyes and the pores on his nose. You smiled, but this felt a little creepy at this point. Borderline delusional, your mind added. You barely knew him and you were already dreaming about him.

You grabbed the phone from under your face, groaning as it got unstuck from your skin. Thankfully, it wasn’t dead. You unlocked it, taking the opportunity to look at the texts that you had gotten the night before.

Yesterday, 12:36 pm: hey, this is mike. i’ll need you on the weekends from 8 am-4 pm. and idc that you said not to pay you, i’m building your bed too.

Yesterday, 2:49 pm: you okay?

Yesterday, 5:03 pm: not to be creepy, but i think i’m going to call you. you’re worrying me a little lol

Today, 1:45 am: i think you fell asleep, i’ll talk to you in the morning :)

You smiled, making a contact for him. “mike <3” was now typing. Three little dots popped up on your screen and you quickly swiped out in nervousness. You opened it again when you got a notification.

Today, 10:23 am: i dropped abby off for school and slept in a little, is it okay if i come over to build that bed frame for you?

You smiled again, quickly replying to make up for last night.

Today, 10:24 am: yeah, ofc. give me a few minutes to wake up lol, i need to brush my teeth and clean up for a second.

He replied immediately.

Today, 10:24 am: lmk when you’re ready

You willed yourself to stop smiling, god it had been too long. You hardly knew how to act with a potential date.

“Oh, god.” You muttered to yourself, realizing you had to talk to him. Why did you have to talk to a man to get a boyfriend? Why couldn’t it just happen telepathically?

You sighed, rolling off the couch. You plugged your phone back into the charger, making your way to the bathroom. You completed your morning routine and ran to your bedroom to pick something out to wear for the day. You decided to go for casual, grey sweatpants and a green hoodie. Didn’t want to seem too desperate. You pulled your socks up your feet, laughing at yourself.

You grabbed a quick breakfast from your kitchen, consisting of leftover cookies and a slice of cold pizza. You tried your best to tidy your place up, moving boxes to the corner of the living room. Running down the hallway to your bedroom with your boxed bed frame in hand, you placed it on the floor, taking the other boxes and moving them to the hallway. You scrubbed your toilet and sink, turning on the air fresheners you had placed around the house.

You washed your hands, drying them before returning to the living room. You texted Mike, letting him know that you were ready. He liked the text message, and in less than two minutes he was knocking on your door.

You eyed the door at the noise. Jesus, he was not playing around. You took another deep breath, opening the door to see him standing there with a small smile. He went for casual too, you noted. He wore a black t-shirt and a pair of grey sweats. He held a bag, which you assumed was full of tools.

You smiled at him as a greeting and opened the door wider to allow him to walk into your house.

“Hey.” He said as you walked past you.

“Hi, thanks for coming so quickly.” You responded. “You didn’t have to, the payment feels premature.” You joked, shutting the front door. He looked a you for a second while taking his shoes off at the entryway.

“Shut up, you can’t sleep on the couch for a week”

“I totally can.” You bite back.

“You won’t, where’s your bedroom?” He finished, looking at you again.

You were shocked into silence, feeling your cheeks warm up. The comment made your head spin. Fuck, could he tell that you liked that?

You said nothing, ignoring his little smirk as you walked him to your bedroom. He followed behind you, dropping the bag on the floor with a small thump.

“Do you need any help or something?” You asked finally, breaking the tense silence.

“No, I’m good. I’ve done a lot of stuff like this,” He answered, shrugging. “You could put on some background music?” He suggested.

“That, I can do.”

You nodded, pulling your phone out of your pocket. You hesitated, before choosing a slower playlist of yours. Something calm, that you didn’t have to focus on. He nodded in enjoyment, then began to open the box that held your bed frame. He spilled the contents onto the floor, then kneeled on the ground. He started pulling stuff out of his bag. You guessed correctly, it was full of tools.

You just watched, sitting down against the wall of your room. It was attractive, him expertly putting your bed frame together. He was good with his hands, you wondered what else he was good at. He looked at you after a moment.

“You just gonna watch?”

“If that’s okay.” You shrugged, he nodded at your sort of question. He tried to hide his smile.

He was going to town, drilling, piecing parts together, all while completely ignoring the instructions. He didn’t need them.

After a while, you could tell he was getting hot. His black shirt was sticking to his skin. You hated to admit that it did something to you. You felt a warmth settle in your stomach and tried your best to will it away. Your eyes settled on his back, looking up to his neck when he turned towards you.

“Why’re looking at me like that?” He asked, eyes narrowed out of curiosity.

You made eye contact with him like a deer in headlights. Smiling at you, he laughed a little. Your words were stuck in your throat, embarrassed about being caught.

“Um, do you want some water?” You settled on.

“Sure.” He answered, chuckling at your suddenly shy demeanor.

You stood up off the floor and walked out of your room, closing the door behind you. What the fuck was that? You scolded yourself, internally. Now he was going to think that you were a horny weirdo. I mean, you were, but he didn’t need to know that yet.

You shook your head at yourself as you poured him a glass. This was ridiculous, you needed to chill out.

You came back into the bedroom and handed him the glass. He took it from you gratefully, fingers brushing over yours as he grabbed it. Telling you a small “thank you,” he brought the glass to his lips and began to drink greedily. You watched him as he downed the glass, some dripping down his chin.

When he was finished, he wiped a hand over his stubble. He looked over to you, a smile pulling at the corners of his lips. He held the glass out to you and you took it, quickly walking out of the room.

You placed the glass in the sink, blinking to try and bring yourself back to life. How did someone make drinking water look so good? How was that even possible? And god, the look he gave you.

You needed to get it together before you blew it. Talk to him, say something, anything other than just fucking staring at him.

You walked back into the room with a mission, you were going to talk to him. Taking your spot on the floor, you cleared your throat.

“So, what’s your favorite food?” You decided on.

He barely paused before answering, “Definitely pasta, like a good chicken alfredo.”

“Shit, that’s a good answer. I’m really into sushi right now. Can’t afford it, but into it.” You said, smiling at his willingness to answer.

The stupid questions continued for a few minutes. The two of you got to know the smallest details of your likes and dislikes. Turns out, Mike can’t stand the color yellow but loves orange. He’s not much of a drinker, mainly because he can’t afford it, but he does occasionally smoke weed. He’s a cat person but would get a dog if Abby asked for one. It killed you when he talked about his sister because it was so obvious how much he loved her.

Eventually, he finished your bed frame. The gentleman that he is forced him to carry your mattress in from the laundry room, helping you set that up too. Mike may have been on the shorter side, but he was strong as hell. The two of you put on your sheets, blankets, pillows, and finally your comforter. It was almost too domestic, too real.

When you were finished, you didn’t want him to leave. You think he felt the same. This was confirmed when he saw the tv sitting in your closet.

“Do you want me to mount that for you?” He asked.

I want you to mount me, you fought against saying.

“That would be great.” You agreed.

Mike probably spent three hours helping you put your bedroom together, setting up shelves, arranging your cabinets, and helping you put your pictures and posters up while you talked his ear off.

Even though you told him a million times that he didn’t need to, he hung your clothes up in your closet while you folded the rest to go in your new dresser. Finally, your room was fully decorated and unpacked.

He rubbed his hands together, settling on the end of your bed. You sat next to him.

“Thank you, seriously. I was dreading doing all of that by myself.”

“Don’t worry about it.” He said.

You both looked at each other for a second too long, the tension between the two of you becoming thick. You took breaks from looking at his eyes by moving down to his lips. You took a deep breath, noticing him moving closer to you.

He hesitated, pushing a stray hair behind your ear instead. His hand lingered on your face, eventually moving down your arm to put your hand in his. He interlocked your fingers together, pulling it close to him and pressing a soft kiss on your knuckles. He held you there, hand resting on his chin. This was almost more intimate than a kiss, you thought.

“Do you not-” You started, getting interrupted.

“I want to, believe me.”

You looked at him, willing him to continue.

“I don’t want you to think that’s all this is.” He explained, you nodded. You know that this was him being respectful, but it made you want to tear his clothes off even more. Forbidden fruit, if you will.

“Let me take you on a date, tomorrow on my lunch break. I know a place you’d like.” He continued.

“Okay.” You said, smiling.

————————————————————————————

**i do not give anyone permission to use my work as your own, respectfully

this belongs to @joemothersfavoritechild **

[ravenssunshine]

avemygo wakaremichi day one review partly as an american solo traveler 20 year old woman (who speaks japanese) and partly as a fucking lesbian

i’ve lived in japan for 4 months now (leaving next month :( ) and knowing japanese was absolutely essential to navigating the venue and directions. typically people try and speak to me in english as i am very white but this did not happen here, presumably because the venue was PACKED. completely sold out show. this was perfectly fine for me but if you don’t speak japanese be aware!

the venue was run very efficiently for how packed it was. merch pickup was scheduled ahead of time so i got to buy my stuff online (not good, spent too much) and picked it up at a designated hour. the show was also dismissed by row which was very funny to me. it was like elementary school

as i expected, most attendees were men in their 30s. sort of an uncomfortable experience for me as a 20 year old woman but i didn’t have any weird experiences we were all just there for avemygo :). however there was 0 line for the women’s bathroom which was awesome because i have never experienced that at a concert before (my previous shows have been fall out boy and taylor swift (both x2, both in the us) )

to my surprise however i came across quite a few visibly queer people! a couple of trans women, including the person sitting next to me. she let me use one of her light sticks which was awesome ❤️ so bandori IS still for the lgbts in japan. just also the straight men

you are NOT allowed to take photos or videos. no one attempted it. kind of loved living in the moment though

people don’t really sing along? i did though i couldn’t help it 💀 i tried to keep it quiet hopefully i didn’t bother the people next to me

they played clips from the anime throughout the set and this specific show followed the trajectory of the ave mujica anime. it was really cool i lost my shit watching akane yonezawa rip the masks off of each ave mujica member. my lesbian commentary is i am fully in love with her

onto my own personal experiences:

sumimi was SO cute live. love love love them im so happy they were included

mygo played the first set after sumimi and to my surprise i burst into tears as soon as the first vote was played. full on sobbing. i’ve freaked out over every avemygo related thing ive come across in japan over the also four months so i guess i shouldn’t be THAT surprised? but oh my god. i was desperately choking back tears

the sets alternated between mygo and ave mujica, four songs at a time

crychic performed in the middle in their middle school uniforms and i cried a bit then as well

then mygo performed their version of haruhikage and the difference in tomori’s voice during the crychic set and the mygo set was so cool. youchan i love you

after the mygo set they played the audio from the post haruhikage crashout but didn’t actually include the “why did you play haruhikage?!” line so someone in the audience shouted it. it was funny

back to youchan. i’ve talked about how i think sasaki rico currently has the strongest vocals in bandori but oh my god youmiya hina live is an incredible contender. she sustained some high notes for a LONG time and it was awesome. maybe it’s experience performing live over the last few years but those early mygo videos on the bandori youtube channel do NOT give her justice. oh my god. MY GOD.

as previously established i am in love with akane yonezawa. every time they showed her on the drums i lost my shit. that woman is an incredible drummer and a fantastic performer. she might just be nyamu irl

my one disappointment is that they didn’t play any covers but with a combined live and a mission to retell the anime i’m not Too surprised. maybe they will tonight? idk i’m not going i did not get tickets for both days

the girls broke character at the end for the thank you segment and they are so cute irl as well. loved it. losing my mind

ok that’s all i think thanks for reading it you did but also this was kind of just for me. here are my daughters outside and at the venue