#-> sorry I am insane. Do you still love me

[emmawithtwoms]

Potions Dungeon

@wolfstarmicrofic day 26 -831 words

Sirius Black had had many stupid ideas in his life: putting fairy dust in his mother’s tea, telling Snape about the secret passageway under the Whomping Willow, “accidentally” throwing a bludger at Slughorn during the last quidditch match… 

But choosing Remus Lupin as his potions partner during the lesson on Amortentia must have been the dumbest idea that had ever crossed his mind. 

To be fair, when they chose partners he did not know that they were going to brew love potions, but still, Morgana must have really hated him. 

All around him he could smell the scent of old books, earl grey tea, the Forbidden forest and fucking cinnamon. It was driving him insane. 

Padfoot could feel his palms sweating, his face blushing and his heart rushing, and why did nobody tell him of the arousing effect the vapors from Amortentia had? 

So he made a plan: he would not talk, think about or even look at Moony for the whole lesson. He would concentrate only on the potion, checking that the colour was right, that it was being turned the right amount of times, in the right direction and making sure that the right amount of ingredients was poured at the right moment and in the right way. Although it was Moony doing it, so it was hard ignoring his presence, his scent, and his hands… Merlin his hands, his beautiful, big, callous, scarred hands NO! He would not indulge in those thoughts. 

Sirius shook his head trying to remove everything regarding Remus and his hands from his head. Sadly, the other boy was not making it easy for Padfoot to ignore him. 

“Are you alright, Pads? You’ve been awfully quiet.” 

“Yeah, yeah, just… lost in my head a bit” 

Sirius kept pointedly not looking at Moony. The smell from all the Amortentia in the room was so strong and so enveloping that he was sure that if he had looked at Remus, he would have confessed eternal love. 

Remus placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder, trying to comfort him. 

“Is it because of your brother? If you need anything I am here, you know? Mulciber could “accidentally” drop a bit too much fairy dust and cause an explosion, accidentally ending the lesson earlier, you know?” 

Oh that beautiful, beautiful man, Sirius could melt because of him.

“No, I’m fine, really. I just can’t wait for this stupid lesson to be over. I fucking hate love potions.” 

“Oh. Yeah, I get it. And smelling this intensely the person you are in love with is very… distracting.”

Sirius finally lifted his gaze to look at Remus.

Right. The person you are in love with… he didn’t think about it, but surely Remus would smell someone too in the potion. Someone else. 

“Do you smell someone in particular, Moony?”

Please don’t, for the love of Merlin

“I… Yes I do.”

Those words stabbed Sirius right in the guts.

“Well, they must be very special to have you looking like that.”

Remus had a sad smile on his lips, like he resigned himself, like he felt hopeless. 

“Yes, he is.”

HE?

“I know he will never like me back, but I just can’t help it. He’s too important, too special. Even if he sometimes cannot see it, he is one of the best people I know.” 

“Don’t say that, Moons, everybody would be lucky to have you.” 

“Oh come on, you are my best friend, you have to say that.” 

“No, I’m serious, pun not intended. You are amazing Moony. You are kind, smart, brave, strong, funny and an evil mastermind. And honestly, you are rather beautiful, so if he can’t see it, sorry but he’s just not worth your time.” 

Remus stared at him in disbelief. The hand that was still on his shoulder tightened, his eyes glistened and he opened his mouth like he wanted to say something, and Sirius, just for a second, indulged in the fantasy of a heartwarming love confession. 

But they were rudely interrupted by Slughorn, who announced the end of the lesson, and all the students hurried to bring samples of their potions to his desk, including Moony. 

While leaving the potions dungeon to head to dinner, though, Remus called Sirius back, leaving them behind from the group. 

“Pads, thank you for what you said earlier, you… you are really special.” 

Remus was not looking at him in the eyes and picking at his cuticles. 

“Moons, that was just the truth. Stop doing that with your fingers, you’ll hurt your hands.”

And without thinking about it, he took Remus’ hand in his and smiled at him, and he just… didn’t let go. Not until they reached the Great Hall, and not while they were eating, still with their pinkies intertwined during dinner, and not while climbing the stairs back to their common room. 

They both knew that they should have talked about it, but for now, for now it was fine just like that. 

[monards]

I'm. not sure if people decided to just ignore it since having one primary villain very easily simplifies things., and i get it, but. I fear people forget that much of genshin often commentates on (<- although the commentary isn't. isn't always great) and reference real life historical events and principles.!!! taking JUST inazuma into account; the Sakoku Decree is based upon a real Japanese policy from just four hundred or-so years ago!! where relations and trade between Japan and other countries was acutely limited; and (nearly) all foreign nationals were barred from entering, and many common Japanese people weren't allowed to leave. ;; it is scary. yes. but genshin DOES reference real sources and events and its very important to take that into account when looking at anything.

This is a. critical thing. to take into account when looking at almost all documentation done through books, and the general opinion of the average population in Teyvat; because, just asking. literally any person who likes history and knows about how powerful entities throughout civilization have worked;; they would tell you that a good chunk of their control, and power over people, is gained through the two great and grand sources of 1. Radicalizing opinions against their enemies, and 2. Suppression of knowledge

Rhinedottir is. painstakingly obviously. being sent up to be a GREAT example of how powerful entities and individuals in history (celestia, in this case) would (AND STILL DO!!!) censor and suppress knowledge specifically TO radicalize opinions and public belief.,, and. (im sorry to say it but.) that is exactly what makes text in game which is commonly taken as the law-of-the-land for her character highly un un-referenceable to start. not to mention highly questionable to use as her ONLY means of character.!!!!!

This is very, very important in understanding (let alone interpreting or analyzing,) Rhinedottir’s character because this is the exact concept most people end up falling victim to while trying to characterize her;; they fall victim to not remembering this!!

Most, if not all literary sources (which, just to note, are the most conveniently editable to push agenda, and bias; and are one of the number one tools that have been used to convey propaganda throughout history!!!) referencing her are in no way pleasant; taking just one line alone to note “The alchemist known as Gold was corrupted by their own greed and ambition, and created an army of shadowy monsters with their uncanny powers.” (Breeze Amidst the Forest, Vol.1) This is a prime example of both principles we see used in real life.

First of all, the way she’s explicitly dehumanized pushes a clear goal; The usage of both the name “Gold” and They/Them pronouns creates ambiguity, and ambiguity breeds distance from the people reading. This makes her impersonal to anyone who may read Breeze Amidst the Forest– because not only is she referred to using a mineral (because what normal person is gonna hear about an entity named feldspar and think "oh yeah! thats human!") , Gold, she’s further made out to be inhuman by the fact they don't clarify any other personal part of her identity, most especially her pronouns (using they/them in this case, while she/her is used by everyone close to her, clearly breeds distance by referring to her vaguely. There is no pronouns to try and inference an identity off of) ; By dehumanizing her in this aspect, they manage to strip away her individuality, and humanity– resulting in her being seen as nothing more than an some ‘entity’ rather than as a human with feelings, thoughts, background & motives to the reader.

This is very very important, because by losing these qualities in the eyes of the audience -- she loses any and all sympathizable or empathizable qualities.!!! To them, “they” are “Gold” someone who was “corrupted by their own greed and ambition, and created an army of shadowy monsters with their uncanny powers” ; by not only stripping away any semblance of identity - by refusing to use her name, and even refraining from using her proper pronouns- they attach only horrible adjectives and actions to her name.

This takes away not only the ability to research her name, and properly understand and gauge her background, possible motives, and traits outside of what was already stated (which would've allowed readers to sympathize with her) but all while also reducing her to only this one specific event. And,,, when someone's only known character traits are greed and ambition, and only known accomplishments being an army of shadowy monsters, that doesn’t exactly leave room for people to see her kindly; let alone sympathize with her.!!!!!

This is important to clarify first; because it very directly and in-your-face demonstrates control being exerted through, not only hidden and suppressed information, but by clear intent to radicalize people’s opinion.

From this, Rhinedottir’s identity is masked with her instead being referenced impersonally as “Gold” ; such characterization allows for her to be dehumanized by the audience. One of the major consequences of dehumanization, which is most prevalent in this specific example of it, is the fact that it simplifies complex issues into black-and-white thinking. By painting Rhinedottir as purely bad (think the “ corrupted by their own greed and ambition, and created an army of shadowy monsters with their uncanny powers” line) people feel a sense of moral righteousness in opposing her; after all, “they’re” not human, they're "gold;; “they’re” evil, and “they” have no good motive – to them, opposing Rhinedottir is the right course of action. Plus, through specifically dehumanizing her, it allows said opinions & perspectives to be far more polarized; if she were identifiable as human, and gifted traits outside of these, people would be capable of sympathizing and having more nuance in their opinions of her: “Oh, but this source says she was (insert trait), meaning that we can maybe understand why she took this course of action from a rational perspective” or “Well, I read that she experienced (insert event), which may mean she had a good motive which lead to this; meaning she maybe had a decent reason” – These conversations, and information, would ACTUALLY allow for people to have differing opinions as they could interpret her in many, many ways. However, readers aren't given this opportunity!!! ; as she’s instead portrayed only in this negative light, all while being treated as inhuman and a ‘distant’ entity from anyone who knows of her; and, when such a clear moral stance of a character is is given to someone- it’s impossible to argue against said character being bad; and hence impossible to not be wholly of the opinion that she’s horrible, and someone to be opposed. (<- remember. these are people who GENUINELY experienced the cataclysm and its after effects;; they wouldn't sympathize with her in a way we might, since to us she's fictional and it doesn't matter. to THEM that association alone would fuck her over reputation-wise)

This feeds into the idea of this being very horribly clear propaganda, and not at all reliable knowledge ;; because as is a clear, and has made a MAJOR!!!! THEME!!!!! in genshin's story as of far,, humans, although imperfect, aren’t confined to those flaws; people are more complex beyond just any one or dozen issue, or flaw, that they may have. And, that’s why we know this example of Rhinedottir is wholly unreliable– and pushing a bias.!!!!!!!!

Had this been a valid relaying of who she was; it would note more aspects of her. Who she was, where she was from, her traits outside of being just “greedy” and “ambitious” – all of these details would be essential in creating a genuine characterization of her because she is explicitly human to our knowledge; meaning although these flaws can be true in some capacity– she’s more than them. And, as we established that the array of information we’re given clearly follows the principles higher entities went with to retain power over people, through both suppressing information and radicalizing opinion; there’s no doubt that, as far as it goes, this is a completely biased source, and for that reason, unreliable; because it’s propaganda. Meaning, in simplest terms; This is not wholly Rhinedottir’s character,aaND I AM SOOOSICK OF PEOPLE TAKING IT THAT WAY OH MY FUCKING GOD DID HAHHLF OF THIS FANDOMEVERY TAKE A LITERACY COURSE IM DYING HERE.

I dont think I even need to explain WHY celestia would do this to Rhine specifically ;; because read. "Radicalizing opinions against their enemies". It's pretty self explanatory by a woman able to follow in the steps of one of the four shining shades (specifically the shade of life) through the human means of alchemy would be. A major issue for the gods. Who also include the four shining shades. And WHO or WHAT god would ever be cool with a human capable of doing what only *they* were supposed to be able to do....,,, her dehumanization is intended to make it so humanity *wont* know about such accomplishments, after all ;; who cares what she accomplished if she was a bad person??

ANYWAYS. TLDR;; does this mean she can be "bad person" still. yes. she is. what the fuck. did you see her crime list. she is incapable of NOT being bad. // but. does this also mean she has way more nuance than "evil scientist women". yes. ;; she CAN be bad. and she is!! BUT. i need to see people stop dumbing her down to that. because apparently proper interpretation of media is rapidly dropping and if i see one more person on tiktok try saying she was only ever a horrible person i will eat rocks on live video and post

hey guys not to be woke on here but when has it not been taught in any one English or history class has it been taught that you should. Not trust clearly biased sources in characterization of individuals

[nanihirunkits]

hi.

[moldy-flowers]

The interesting experience of being pro Sasuke, anti konoha, pro tobirama, anti Naruto ending, pro Sasusaku, anti Itachi, pro Sakura, anti SasuNaru, pro Tobirama×Izuna, anti Madara, pro karin, anti Orochimaru, pro Uchiha and anti Hashirama. And also as much as I hate the guy danzo was kind of hot when he was younger...

[beanghostprincess]

Okay you're making me obsessed with Sabosan- I'm in need to posts about them

Just an AU where they meet during childhood, like, Sabo and his parents go to Germa bc of some politic shit and he don't want to be there so he just walks around.

And be accident he finds Sanji outside the castle, crying, and he knows he is one of the princes since they were already presented to each other. But the boy is hurt and crying so much that Sabo can't not help him.

In the beggining Sanji is scared, but soon he notices the other blonde don't want to beat him like his brothers. They talk all the day and for the first time in Sanji's life, he feels like he made a friend.

When Sabo's family has to go back to Goa, both kids are sad but hope to meet again soon. After this, everything in Sanji's past happens (Sora's death, he being locked and running away).

Month's later, the nobles from Goa go again to Germa and Sabor receive the terrible news that Sanji is dead. This broke's his heart 'cause the boy was sweet and kind and even just being with each other during one day he was sure the prince was amazing.

Since Sanji were 8 and Sabo 9 during this, ge just meet Luffy one year later and all he can think sometimes is how much the two would love each other. But don't matter now, his friend is dead.

Everything happens, and years later he remember everything and all he can think is how he forget them? How he let other person he loves die? The boy is broke bc he lose another person.

And he is going to meet Luffy's crew, hearing his young brother talk about them when he says about a guy named Sanji and- Sabor freezes, he ask about him and this boy is identical to his dead friend- but can't be him, right...? He can't have hope.

When they arrive in the ship, he's knowing everyone and then he go to the kitchen with Luffy to meet said boy and- it's Sanji, alive. Breathing, older and so much beautiful.

And Sanji is looking at him too and- both are in shock. Luffy is there, confused and looking at the two. "Luffy, can I talk for a moment with your friend?" Sabo asks intenting to not show how he is emotional.

"Uh? You know each other?" Luffy ask but go outside the kitchen anyway, they still are silent during some minutes. Sanji is read to say something when Sabo hugs him.

"I thought you were dead" is all he says and the blackleg hugs him back, feeling bad for making Sabo think this.

Both don't say much, but they are happy they're together again.

Agh, you all know I am extremely weak for childhood AUs!!!!! This is beautiful :(

I can't stop thinking about Sanji obviously getting forced to meet Sabo, but he doesn't really want to because he always hates it when important people come over. Yes, his father is more distracted with them, but that leaves them a free day from training, and sometimes those are even worse than regular days. Because even if his brothers already make fun of him and beat him up when they train, whenever they're not doing anything it's even worse because they take their time and it's a complete nightmare. Besides, introducing himself with the name Vinsmoke has always made him want to throw up, even from a very early age, and there's this uneasy feeling inside of him whenever Judge speaks about him normally instead of saying how much of a disappointment he is. He prefers that rather than him lying to strangers because he knows what he says isn't true. He doesn't consider him his son, and he doesn't see him as his father either. It's nauseating.

When Sabo and Sanji get introduced along with the other Vinsmoke siblings, Sanji doesn't want to look up. He has to, of course, but he doesn't feel like being there at all. But he's even more scared of what might happen if he doesn't do what Judge says. When he looks up, he can tell that the kid in front of him doesn't want to be here either. He's good at pretending, though. He smiles politely and shakes their hands and it's obvious that he's been trained to act that way, but he doesn't look at all like a noble. He has a missing tooth and scratches in his hands and face and it's quite obvious that he tries to cover it (not him, his parents) but it isn't working for Sanji. Besides, there's this rage in his eyes that Sanji can't quite place but he knows something is going on with him. That just scares him even more, because, even if it's not the same rage his brothers have in their eyes, it's still rage. If he was a simple kid like all the others that have come to their kingdom with their families, Sanji would not be that worried, but he isn't. And Sanji fears the worst because he can't figure him out.

On the other hand, Sabo wants to jump off a bridge. He would rather drown than be here. Get the kid out of there!!!!!!!! He didn't want to come at all but his parents wouldn't stop pressuring him and tbh it was easier to end this quickly so he could go home even quicker (home being Gray Terminal and next to Ace, thank you very much). So he's on his best behavior so he can just quickly go back home. He hates them. The kids, he means. Rich, spoiled brats that are modified to be that way. To be selfish. To kill. It's disgusting and he despises how the father talks with so much pride about it. But- But he never, not even once, mentions the blond. He talks praise about all of his kids except him, but he also doesn't even mention him. Sabo can tell his name is Sanji because his brothers won't stop teasing him about stuff Sabo can't understand, but he knows enough to get that something's off. Whatever. Not his fight. Not his siblings. Not his responsibility.

But his sense of responsibility and morals are already strong enough to make him overly sensitive to this stuff, so he watches the behavior of the kids carefully. Their parents tell them to go do whatever because they're talking about "grown-up stuff" and they need to form "royal bonds for future needs" or whatever bullshit they keep making up. And, uh, Sabo fucking hates it. The kids are scary as fuck. Like, creepy. Type of thing he wishes Ace were with him for because this is way worse than the things they've seen happening at Gray Terminal. The way they speak about the staff and human lives is just disgusting. With no emotion in their voices other than plain selfishness and cruelty. They show Sabo around the castle and- And Sanji isn't around anywhere? Apparently? When he asks where he might be, that's when his brothers start trash-talking him. Calling him a coward. A weakling. Worse things Sabo does not want to repeat but- But it's just extremely fucked up. But again, not his fight. He can keep an eye on them but not intervene because he really, really wants to go home soon. And he's pretty sure this is just the way siblings talk about each other. Rich, noble siblings, at least. Even if Sanji seemed different, he's still one of them.

Sabo eventually gets bored of them, and also they're disgusting to be around. So he just disappears and hopes they don't give a fuck about him to look for him. That's when he finds Sanji crying outside of the castle. He really knows he shouldn't intervene. He never does when he goes to these meetings. But Sanji seems different. He's crying. These kids, in theory, should not be able to feel like this, right? There's just something so human about him, from the first second they saw each other, that Sabo can't help but want to protect him. He's not much older than him, but still. Sanji looks way weaker and shorter in comparison, and,, And in need of someone. Like he's always asking for help.

And so they talk. Sabo approaches him and the first thing Sanji does is flinching. He thinks Sabo is going to hit him, apparently? What the fuck. Sabo instantly kneels beside him to tell him that he is definitely not here for this, and why the hell would he even think that?? Sanji doesn't reply, of course, he just hugs his knees closer to his chest and looks away, hoping for Sabo to not ask more questions. But Sabo notices this glint of hope in his eyes that he doesn't want to show. Like begging for him to get him out of there. Sabo just sits beside him in a very nonchalant and very not noble way and starts talking. He tells Sanji how he doesn't want to be here either, and trash-talks his family and nobility and starts saying all of these things he only tells Ace about. He usually doesn't trust people so easily, and Ace would kill him for this, but Sanji needs this. And apparently, it doesn't bother him at all to give him this. Sanji starts opening up little by little, hope in his eyes and excitement starting to come out of his voice when they change subjects. Sanji, apparently, isn't like his siblings. In any way. And he likes cooking and sea creatures too! Sabo has a lot of stories to tell about those! And they keep talking and talking and hours pass and suddenly Sabo doesn't want to go home. It's not only fun to be here, but scary to leave if it means never seeing Sanji again and leaving him here. Especially when he tells him about everything his family does to him (because they end up talking about that) and he has to hold Sabo back from yelling because he has never been angrier in his entire fucking life. What the hell does this family think they are? Sanji doesn't deserve this. He's nice. Cute, too. Smart. Extremely sweet and empathetic. Selfless. Kindness itself.

But time moves quickly and they have to return to their ship. He hates leaving Sanji. He really does. But they promise to see each other again! He even gives Sanji his white handkerchief. The one he likes. The one that's all ripped and worn out. Because it's the one he uses the most. The one he uses when he's with Ace! And it has his initials engraved there, but the S is the only thing that can be seen, so it's okay! Sanji keeps it like a reminder of freedom and the fact that they'll for sure see each other again!

But they don't.

Because the news of Sanji dying reach Sabo and he's devastated. It's so unfair. And it's true. He knows he's dead and he can't do anything about it. But he also knows his family had something to do with it because he's not stupid. He has to move on past the rage, though, even if it's extremely infuriating and frustrating. He has to move on. Sanji, on the other hand, doesn't let go of the handkerchief and Sabo's words, even if he has lost all hope. Yadda, yadda, yadda, you know how the story goes. So Reiju helps Sanji escape and he knows he'll probably never see him again, but he still hopes. Sabo thinks, meanwhile, when he meets Luffy, that he'd love Sanji. With how much he keeps talking about food and dreams! And Sanji would love being here too. Well, not really, because Gray Terminal doesn't seem at all like something Sanji would enjoy, but it for sure would be better than Germa. And Sabo would be able to protect him too. It doesn't matter now, though.

Time-skip moment. Sabo remembers his childhood and his brothers and Sanji. And Ace just died. So great. It seems that the world is always against him. He doesn't have much time to think about Sanji because right now the only thing he has in mind is Ace, his fruit, and finding Luffy. But Sanji's image, for some reason, keeps appearing in his mind. He isn't sure why, but it's still engraved there. He tries to forget him, but now that he truly wants to forget, he doesn't. Fuck it. Well. Dressrosa happens. Yay! He got a brother back and Ace's fruit. Yadda yadda. We know how it goes.

He doesn't actually get to meet Sanji in Dressrosa because I'm trying to be loyal to the timeline, so let's say that this is post-wano and pre-egghead (and Sabo is fine and he isn't in the huge mess he's in right now). Sabo goes "oh, I want to pay an actual visit to my brother's crew. I didn't get to meet everyone properly" and that's when the cool stuff happens.

You know, he tells Robin first about it and she informs the crew and stuff. When Sabo gets there, the only one on deck is Luffy, so of course he gets all excited and jumps to hug him and keeps talking about his crew and how much he's gonna love everyone! Like Nami because she's super smart like him!!! And Usopp because he has the coolest inventions!! And Sanji because he is the best cook-

Wait, Sanji?

And it can't be, because his Sanji is dead. His Sanji can't be Luffy's Sanji, right? Impossible. He guesses it might be just a coincidence and tries to move on from Luffy's words. But then he starts meeting everyone and Sanji gets out of the kitchen to greet him and- Oh. Okay. Yeah. That's definitely him. He has not forgotten those eyebrows and blue eyes and bangs. He could tell it's him from a mile away. Sabo thinks it's his memory playing with him, but then he remembers Sanji's sudden death without any explanation and blames his young self for not realizing sooner what truly happened. What's funny is that Sanji had the same reaction, because when Luffy talks about Sabo for the first time, he freezes at the name. But he guesses it can't really be him, and Luffy doesn't talk enough about him for Sanji to make the correlation.

But no, yeah, it's definitely him.

As you said, they both freeze. And it's actually kind of weird because everybody is looking at them, but they're only focusing on each other so it's also extremely romantic. Sabo tries to act calm and collected when he asks Luffy if he can speak to Sanji in private, and Luffy instantly says:

Luffy: It's to ask for extra food, right?! I am not going to steal yours like when we were kids! I don't do that anymore! Usopp: He still does that. Luffy: But Sabo can have whatever he wants! Sanji will make it! But not more than me. I'm sure you're gonna do it just to piss me of- Sabo: Luffy, you can have all of my food if you want to. Just let me talk to him for a second. Luffy: ?? But why?! It's been so long. I want to be with you! Sabo: Because- Sanji: If you let us talk in private I'll give you two desserts. And more meat. We'll have whatever you want tonight. Luffy: OH! AWESOME! Nami: What is this about again? Franky: Yeah... It looks like you two know each other. Sanji: Who says we don't? Luffy: YOU TWO KNOW EACH OTHER? Sabo: No. Not- Luffy. Give us a moment. *They go into the kitchen together* Zoro: First he's a prince and now he's fucking Luffy's brother. Are we sure Curly doesn't have anything else to tell us? Luffy: He's not- Nami: Shut up!! I can't listen to their conversation through the door if you keep talking!

(She doesn't hear them at all, actually, because the others keep talking and Sabo and Sanji are pretty quiet and she gets bored of trying to spy on them).

They don't really know what to do except to stare at each other. Sanji is about to make some joke or something to make things lighter, but Sabo goes and instantly hugs him tight. Sanji feels he's about to start crying. Especially when Sabo says "I thought you were dead" / "Well, I am not" / "I can see that" / "I- I'm sorry. I truly hoped we could meet but- Things have been a little- Fuck. Just. I'm sorry. Judge- My-" / "Yes. I know. I mean. I don't know, but it's obvious you don't want to talk about it now and I know it's your shitty father's fault. Don't worry about it" / "... Alright" / "Is it weird if I don't want to let go of you?" / "Shut up. You're the one making it weird" / "You grew up. Quite a lot. Remembered you so tiny and cute" / "Oh, fuck you, I am not-" / "Still cute, though" / "You were nicer to me back then" / "You were less sarcastic" / "Touche" / "Hey! So you finally got to be a cook! And for the future king of the pirates! How does that feel?" / "Tiring. Exhausting. Frustrating... A dream come true" / "....... You look happier" / "I am.... Hey? Can you keep like- Holding me for a while? Because-" / "It's okay. Yes. If I let go of you I might start sobbing. This is fine. As long as we don't move, we're fine" / "Great". (Also have in mind that this is post-wano so Sanji is extremely sensitive and wants to kind of sort of die. This is probably the best thing that has happened to him lately. Or ever)

And this is getting reaaaally long already so to end this just say that they definitely end up kissing at some point and dating and then uh, things™ happen. But just think about them having a happy ending. I- I want to write a fanfic now. You can't do that to me. Ughhh. What if I did- What if I did write this fic- Thinking thoughts.

[flugame-mp3]

what do you fucking mean that's how charlie dies. THAT'S HOW CHARLIE DIES??? i mean i know the show has a penchant for killing off every character who's not a winchester brother or an angel of thursday but good god. what the fuck. charlie was such a good and enjoyable recurring character, and she had such a fandom impact that i've seen, and she's only around for THREE SEASONS?? (sidebar: it's amazing she has the presence she does for only being around for a couple episodes in the long run!) but: was this necessary? and she just dies offscreen after her skills are utilized to progress the plot of decoding the book of the damned?? oh my god. what in the actual fuck. i'm finding myself getting genuinely very upset at her death. she did not fucking deserve that. and i can absolutely see why the fan response to her death is what it is now. completely fucking unjustified and throwaway and useless.

[a-murmur-of-a-prayer]

So all of a sudden I may be moving out of state in ten days

[cherry-treelane]

everytime i feel bad and stressed about my life i remember that i might be in a troubling situation and having a bad time but im not season 4 fiona gallagher in the clink after leaving crack on the counter which my 3 year old baby brother happened to ingest resulting in a fatal near-death experience thats wracked me with never-ending guilt and forever altered my life

[daz4i]

i can't tell which option i like more when it comes to ratio in the future of the story tbh

he's gonna become super important, we're gonna find out more about him, somehow he will affect things in a large way

he's gonna do what he's done so far - show up, be autistic, leave. maybe every other arc. he's just chilling doing his own things and they simply happen to be vaguely related to what the trailblazer has going on

bc like. listen. he is a bit of an anomaly in the cast isn't he. i mean there's obvious stuff like how he was a free 5* but also. we know less about him than most (if not all? i haven't read everyone's stories to say yet) 5*s in the game. he seems to have fingers in many pies but doesn't make any significant dents in them. when he shows up he doesn't talk much about himself. his character story is told in a unique format compared to others', and the information there is not subjective, nor does it say anything about his past or background due to its outsider's pov.

so the question is. is he so different on a meta level bc he's important. or bc he is basically a joke character. either way i am on my knees begging hoyo to put him in future storylines please please please please please please please

[itspileofgoodthings]

you know what I’ve realized lately? that’s really helped? the axiom: it just doesn’t really make that much of a difference. Or at least it doesn’t when you’re talking about good things and not, like, doing good vs. doing evil. Big choices, little choices, decisions, decisions —it’s not just that they don’t matter in the grand scheme of things—because they do! —but just. It won’t make that big of a difference. Life will continue to be wonderful AND difficult, fascinating AND hopelessly mundane, full of roses AND thorns and all the other cliches whether you walk down one road or another. And you’ll get used to the joys and sick of the sorrows whatever they are, and you’ll be ungrateful and bored and dissatisfied in some measure some of the time and you’ll have to work on all the things you have to work on anyways and just. Yeah! It doesn’t make that big of a difference! Even the biggest things!

[phoenixfiiire]

Tentatively maybe returning tomorrow, maybe... friday? Depends on vibes and what me and Sera are doing.

There is going to be a rule change for my own comfort. This sounds ominous and for all I know it is but I don't have the energy to really write it out eloquently so I'm just going to ramble in tags for now.

[brown-little-robin]

hi robin :] very random but im watching craft videos while i eat dinner and it got me thinking about ur ceramics. giving u permission to ramble about the ceramics process (or literally anything abt ceramics), if you want to <3 idk anything abt ceramics like not a clue but im very curious and every time u talk abt them i stare at u w sparkly eyes (also i've recently developed a HUGE respect for all 3d arts bc holy shit making it look right at all angles ?????literally how)

👀✨‼️

Hi thank you so much!! staring at you with the same sparkly eyes,,, watching craft videos while you eat that's so cool,,, Also, weirdly enough, I have the same "how???" thoughts about doing 2d art. I have trouble conceptualizing making something look right from only 1 angle; that seems like a lot of pressure. with a sculpture, if something doesn't look right from one angle, I know there's probably some structural problem, and I turn the sculpture around a little bit and usually figure out that the problem is deeper than what I thought. I'm thinking of ears, specifically—how, often, my problem with the outlines of my ears (seen from the front) is that the back of the ear isn't full enough, I need to add clay, and just nudging the clay to fix the outline wouldn't Work. and I wouldn't have known if I couldn't turn the sculpture around. the respect and awe goes both ways

longgg ramble about the ceramics process below the cut :]

okay SO. the ceramics process, huh? Well, I mean, I'm really in love with the sculpting part, where you take wet clay and make it into an Animal with Bones And Muscles. I just love the animal form—I think in a similar way to how you love the human form and the way clothing folds. I do wheel-throwing too (I make cups, bowls, that sort of thing), but I've been sculpting since I was like 8 years old and I'm way better at sculpture. it's one of a few things in my life that I take genuine pride in. I love teaching people about sculpting, too!! nothing better than seeing someone instantly grasp the insight I spent years developing <333 ANYWAY

one thing that often surprises people about clay is that it's very... flexible, water-content-wise. clay is basically made of a bunch of small "plates" of dry material with water in between. the water makes the entire structure flexible, which is why clay shrinks and goes brittle when it dries. and clay is always drying out. small sculptures like the ones I make, especially ones with thin limbs (more surface area for the air to leech moisture out of) dry out within half an hour. I have to add water to the thin parts every so often the whole time I'm sculpting. but of course the clay has to be firm enough to hold the creature's overall shape, so it's a balance. it's always a race against time. it's super exciting. To Me, anyway

it takes a day or two for a sculpture to dry. After the sculpture dries out, that's when I paint it with my special pigments. (pigments that survive 2,000+ degrees of heat!!) Like this:

these are the same sculpture. the first picture was from right after I sculpted the wet clay; the second picture is after it got painted.

Then once a sculpture is made, it sits and dries, right? the water leaves the clay. but not ALL the water. that's why you "fire" the sculpture: you put it in a kiln and heat it up to ~1800°F. EIGHTEEN HUNDRED DEGREES. at that point, all the water boils out and the clay CHEMICALLY CHANGES. the "plates" begin to bond to each other. But they don't bond all the way in the first firing, because you want the clay to still be porous / hydrophilic. you want it to SUCK IN WATER. this is because you want GLAZE to attach to the clay.

Glaze—at least the kind of glaze that I use—is basically DIY glass. It's a lot of very fine silica (sand) with other stuff (like powdered metals) in it to give color. The sand-metal-powder is suspended in water to make it usable, and I stir up the glaze in its liquid form and dip my sculpture in it, and the super dry clay goes YAY WATERRR I'M SO THIRSTY and GRABS the glaze, and the powdery part is left on the surface of the sculpture while the water goes into the clay. it feels funny on your skin when you hold a sculpture in the glaze; you can actually feel the dry clay accepting the water. it feels like... have you ever dropped water on a bone-dry wooden board and seen the water spread out in the direction of the wood's grain? it feels like that.

the sculpture is left looking white and powdery and generally not very attractive. unfired glaze is just... thick white chalk.

THEN I fire the clay a SECOND time. The heat varies, but I always fire to at least 2,244° F. >:D >:D >:D and the sandy glaze actually MELTS INTO GLASS. and I open the kiln, which has the products of about a year or two of work in it, and I WEEP IN JOY because everything has COMPLETELY TRANSFORMED. firing is always risky. some of the sculptures always fail somehow—they break in firing for various reasons, or the glaze runs onto the shelf, or the glaze color turns out different than I thought. but some of them always come out BETTER than I imagined. and it's always a process of discovery, slowly unloading the kiln, layer by layer... the objects still warm from the heat of their firey transformation... hot enough to burn, if you're unloading before they've cooled enough, which I usually do because it's just so exciting...

and my glaze shrinks slightly more than the clay does. imagine that: a thin layer of glass shrinking more than it can take. you can actually hear it breaking. little quiet "plink! plink! plink!" as the glass shatters just a little under the stress. we call it "crazing" and it leaves little cracks in the glaze, like so:

you can also see tiny bubbles in the glaze on the rabbit's inner ear!

I just. (physically shaking) I just love ceramics so much. The sculpting part feels almost like meditation. it's almost a form of worship, for me, it's religious, it's a little version of creation, a way to look at bodies and try to express how they work. For the simple sculpture, I just make them from memory, but I work from references for my difficult sculptures—for instance, here's the little pile of images I collected to make my recent tiger:

the painting part is just plain fun, putting cool designs and stuff on a 3-d object in a low-pressure way. and then the two firings are pure magic. pure delayed gratification. it's incredible. you're telling me this thing I shaped with my mortal human fingers survives TWO THOUSAND DEGREES OF HEAT? you're telling me I get to MAKE COLORED GLASS? out of SAND and METAL? you're telling me after all that, I get to open up the kiln which has put these things through immense heat and see these beautiful objects and go I made those?????

YEAH. SCREAMS.

thanks for reading, I hope you had fun <333

[carcarrot]

listening to audio from that night's concert and that old man singing the way he always does is a temptress

[tigergendermoved2tigergender]

Remembering the toxic hellscape that was 2015-2019ish SU fandom and just how much hate the show got is really insane when you rewatch the show after it's been a while. Like the show is good what the hell were any of these people talking about

[widevibratobitch]

so what that i slept in for the exam. my voice teacher just called to talk about yesterdays concert and said some truly insane shit that made me cry again (but like. in a good way lol) so who even gives a shit lol

[pbnmj]

actually you know what the mcu was absolutely evil for introducing spider-man and immediately making him follow iron man around and then ALSO using him as a prop to make iron man look cooler meanwhile peter barely gets a faithful story of his own IN HIS OWN MOVIES