#-> remembered my past issues with self esteem and maybe being really happy about my name might be a good thing actually

[sidereon-spaceace]

i might have to look into getting henna so I can plan out tattoo design/placement

[elysiumblue]

Pick a card - How you view yourself VS How others view you 😳

It's me with another pick a card general reading 😬 Decided to do a topic more that is more general to see what message will come through. The context of the reading is just as the topic. The spread I used is here.

This time, some message is really specific, so don't force it to fit your situation if it doesn't resonate at all. I may need to consider doing more piles next time to get more general messages 😭

👇🏻 Anyway, pick a color that you felt drawn to. 👇🏻

And find the corresponding reading for you below!

Pile 1

It seems that you have self esteem issues. You believe that you are less than others, but you are not working on bettering yourself. Instead, you are putting almost all your energy to comparing yourself to others, finding out how others are better than you. This puts yourself deeper in the problem. The lack of self esteem also makes it very difficult for you to make decisions, as you are always doubting yourself. You tend to wait for others to plan out your life.

Such problem may seems to be impossible to solve in your eyes, but others can see that such problem is not as worse as you think. They believe that it is more like an illusion, and you have the power to get out of it. You are not as doomed as you believe.

The negative mindset may be created as a coping mechanism for something happened in the past. It may be in your brain for years. However, it doesn't mean that you should let it define you. You need to search for the voices within you, instead of rejecting them. It is meaningless to make yourself suffer, and it is not helpful for your spiritual growth at all.

Taking yourself out of the equation is as bad as taking anyone else from the equation. You deserve to better, and the world is waiting for you to stand in your power. Try to make changes in your mindset. Put your happiness as a priority. It will guide you to remember who you truly are, and lead you to reach your highest potential. It may sounds difficult to do so now, but once you start working on it, you will find it very easy for you.

Pile 2

You probably just get out of some nasty stuff, maybe something like being deceived or betrayed. The energy of being hurt and questioning what was going on is still lingering. However, it seems that you have done a great job of withdrawing yourself from the situation! If you are looking at this reading to find confirmation on whether you have handled the situation properly, the answer is yes.

Instead of delving deeper into finding out why they did that to you, you took a leap of faith to get rid of the situation, or cut ties with those people who were sus. You recognize that thinking too much about the situation will only prolong the suffering from it, and that suffering is not that meaningful either. So, you accept the fact that sometimes bad things just happens.

Your decisiveness also grants you new perspectives on relationship in general, as you did not spend too much energy on what happened in the past. You try to earn something from this situation, by learning to recognize the red flags, heal from this kind of stuff, and even try to help others that are affected by similar situations with your experience.

It may be hard to believe, but others think that you're a badass in handing the situation! They believe that you are powerful, and they think that you know your worth. Even for those who may be hurt by your decision, they can't help but admire your boldness for a little bit. 😭 (Actually, I am impressed by your energy too when I am reading the cards 😬😭)

Pile 3

This pile probably has some unsupportive people surrounding you, especially unsupportive family members. If this is not what is happened to you, it may not be your pile, because I feel about this very strongly.

Due to the constant stress and negative feedback from your surroundings, you feel that you lack the ability to make good decisions, doubt everything you do, and some may even believe that you are set for failure. However, this is not true at all!

You are beautiful, admirable, and capable. You are unable to recognize it, but it is not your fault, as the negative mindset is what people feed into your brain. However, people failing you does not mean that you are a failure.

You have the quality to turn this around, and become the beautiful being you are supposed to be. All you lack is the mindset. You can start working on it by believing that you are worthy, and you deserve to receive blessings from the universe, or just good things in general.

Your haters are very nasty. They see your suffering, or know that what they are doing to you is hurtful, but they hope that you never get out of the pain. Some even believe that you don't deserve anything! I feel that they don't even want me to tell you that you're perfectly fine as I feel resistance in getting the message.

However, it is just their opinions, and we know that it is not what you truly are. Also, now you know where your negative mindset comes from. It's not from you! You can make a change, as you are not the problem. It sucks that your family is unsupportive, but their opinions are not the only opinion in the world. I can see that you will find a group that will celebrate you in the future, and receive the love and support that you deserve.

[angelicasdigitaldiary]

2024

Hi, whoever is reading this, I'm back after a huge, I don't even know what to call it, other than major depressive episode? coupled with severe anxiety, and physical issues that manifested due to stress. The end of 2023 and beginning of 2024 has been really rough for me. Many days feeling lifeless. Feeling like I don't want to be here anymore, in pain, heartbroken, and as though my life doesn’t matter.

It's April now, and although my physical and mental health has gotten better, I still struggle most days to believe in myself, or believing I'm worthy of my dreams because they're so -out there. Well, compared to my peers and family members. Or, even having any motivation at all, which is how I feel most of the time. Existing alone these days/months/year has felt exhausting. But here I am, and here we are.

Today, I've reflected, I am still not in a place where I want to be. And I feel like I can no longer go back to my old dreams/goals my younger self had once envisioned. Because they were made at a different time of my life. When my life felt, looked, and even I, was different.

I feel as though after everything, those goals no longer align with who and where I am today. So I made new goals for myself. Which I'll post/share here with you all for accountability, so here we go!

My new 2024 goals:

Be more active, and pick up a physical activity that I can stick to, that will help me tone up and get in shape. (going up the stairs and running even 3 mins is hard for me atm).

With that, I'd love, love, love to get back into dancing. I miss dancing dearly. In my earlier years, when my best friend was my dancing partner, and I had gotten past the shy phase, I would be able to be the first on the dance floor, center-stage, and I remember everything becoming a blur. It was just me, my body, the music, the feeling, and my friend of course. In those moments, nothing mattered. Just me, and I felt happy. Of course, being young, I did experience getting creeped on/inappropriately touched, so I have some fear getting back into it/getting out there in a way I'll feel safe? But maybe a start is to go out with friends I trust.

Pass my Leed v4 exam (due to mental/physical health, school and work it felt impossible). But, now that I'm on leave, and have gotten better, I want to get back to it!

Be more active on social media. Specifically, post more on here and Youtube. (I was posting on YouTube regularly a little more over a year ago, but stopped and deleted everything due to the depression/anxiety/low self-esteem and s. ideation.) Once I get my channel running again, I'll post/link my videos onto here.

Sing more on tik-tok. (Posted a few singing videos last summer and seemed to have gotten a good response on there, but have taken most down due to low self-esteem again) ready to give it a shot again despite still not feeling super confident. I don't want to think too much about what I post and just post for funsies!

Big goal of mine for this month and the next is securing a remote part-time job. (That I can hopefully sustain during college).

Last one, a bit shy to share this one, but move out. I'm 23 currently. Turning 24 in August. And before I turn 25, I'd like to be able to move out into my own space and finally experience living / growing on my own in my 20s. Currently, the situation here at home with family has gotten a little toxic, draining and suffocating. And in conclusion, I feel like moving out will help my life feel less stagnant, and more in my own hands and my own terms. It will be scary, as an only child raised by a single-mother, it will be difficult for us to part ways for a bit. But, I want to show myself and my mom I can do it. And I want her and me to be proud if I'm able to. make it on my own.

That's all for now :) Already feeling much better typing out those goals. Maybe, my last personal one, is to get sleep! These past months, sleep have been a huge issue for me, where too often, I'll go two days without sleeping, and often, crashing during the middle of the day. I know it's stress that's probably causing this. So, hope I can find a way to fix this soon.

Hope anyone who has read all the way here, is having a good day or will have a good day! Thank you truly for reading. And for being here.

Love,

Angelica

[oraclekleo]

Hello, how are you?

I am here for the feedback yayyy 🔥

Yes, working too much may really wear someone out sometimes. So please remember to take breaks every now and then. I know this is something we always tell people to do, but please maybe this is your reminder? Hahaha and honestly it can make us feel that taking a break is terrible.

Regarding your games, it goes without saying that they are incredibly original, which is why I adore them so much.

Also, would you mind if I actually sent an ask with a specific question about my career? Because this really was really an eye-opening and I keep feeling I might find the answers from your reading.

As for the feedback back:

The accuracy is just Wow, you did it one again 👏!

Recently, I keep seeing number 333, and other readings have confirmed this as well! To be honest, I've been pretty puzzled recently about my life; everything appears to be out of... Place? Possibly? I'm not sure why, but I've been thinking a lot about my professional life, and I can't seem to relax or unwind. About the three paths etc, I'm genuinely curious about their nature. I tried to pray and make certain changes in my life, but I always have the feeling that things might not work out the way you described. Whoa! Oh my! Indeed, I find myself thinking about my relationships with other people, or perhaps with a specific person, and telling myself that perhaps if we were both the people we are now, we wouldn't have hurt each other in the past with our actions. I feel sorry for us, so perhaps I should tell them that and apologize for my past mistakes so I can find some closure?

You hit the nail on the head when you said that I feel insecure about everything, especially my appearance. I do feel alone and insecure these days. Like, I make an effort to increase my confidence, but after a certain event, I have to start over from scratch.

Yes so spot on, I have been considering hanging out with my friends lately, maybe this is my sign? 👀

I know what I might say next is cliché, but I really appreciate the effort and energy you put in your readings, and grateful for you and for the other readers out there to give us some guidance with everything happening in their life...

Once again, thank you so much.

Hello dear!

Don't worry! I always put my well being a priority and I already know how far I can push myself before it becomes uncomfortable. I have rested enough and fully to my liking. 😉 I sometimes feel like I don't need a rest as such but more like focusing on a different issue. That's why I usualy have multiple projects running. When one of them drains me, I switch to the other. 😂 I admit, this is not at all doable for everyone but it works for me. 😊

To your feedback.

I'm really glad the reading resonates with you and feel free to come again and ask more detailed question when needed. The game is closed at the moment because I want to complete the requests first but it will be open again soon. 😁

If you know, you did a mistake in the past and that actually not saying sorry is keeping you stuck, then it might be time to apologize. The apology is not only to say sorry to the other person and acknowledging your mistakes, it's also for you to close the matter for yourself. Not saying sorry when you intuitively know you should say it will keep you stuck in the past. Apology helps you release any possible regret and allow you to move on. Being able to apologize is actually an act of strength, not weakness.

Feeling insecure about appearance is really a pandemic but feeling happy in your own skin is important for your life. It might take a while to actually build that kind of confidence and self-esteem and it's likely to be a never-ending process as people and media do everything they can to actually make you feel bad about yourself but don't give them the satisfaction of victory. Hang out with people who make you feel good about yourself and encourage you to grow further and support you not with those who will always focus on your imperfections. If there are things that really bother you about your appearance, you are free to work on them but only if you do it for yourself, not to satisfy others.

I'm really grateful for your feedback and appreciation. It always feels good when I know my work is noticed and makes some difference for someone, even if a very little one. 💖

I wish you all the best! Hopefully you can choose your path wisely. And even if you accidentally land on the incorrect one, it doesn't mean you have to stay there. The beautiful thing about life is that we always have a choice and the right to change mind about something. 😊

Thank you again for your beautiful feedback and be blessed! ✨

[zebrashork]

Ok so I'm cursed with the eepy due to heat exhaustion from yesterday but

Let's start off with a disclaimer that I, myself, am autistic and kin her a shit ton, so this is mostly based off of my experiences

Let's start off with her special interest in Vocaloid, specifically Hatsune Miku. She first saw a Miku video on her dad's tablet and has been obsessed ever since. Ask her a question about Vocaloid and she will give you a nice, extensive answer. You will walk away from that learning more than expected. This is a hella common autistic experience, I don't think I need to spend more time on this

Secondly, her early days. Do keep in mind I sadly haven't read all her events yet (I procrastinate. Way too much), but I have a pretty good idea of what this looked like. In elementary school, we hear that she was reckless, got into some fights with bullies to protect her friends, etc. At that age, if you have friends, you don't tend to run into as many issues with other folks (in my experience) because your peers are also trying to figure out communication, social cues, etc. The real issues come in when people pick up on how you’re different. Iirc, we don't know as much about her social status in middle school as we do Honami and Shiho, but I think we can infer based on how Ichika and Honami were badmouthed by Shiho's classmates and how Honami’s "friends" got Honami to ditch her AND how we meet Ichika at the beginning of the story utterly alone, I believe that she was also bullied by the other students. Also, the way she becomes more reserved, more cautious, reminds me of someone who has been bullied like I had been

Oh yeah, how about those abandonment issues, huh? Granted, she wasn't abandoned due to anything she did, but she didn't know that. If she was bullied for being "weird" or another thing, it would make sense for her to question if she did something "wrong" to drive her friends away, further causing her to become more cautious

Another thing I've been brainrotting about because of my own experiences: what is your true self? I know, this is more of Mafuyu's theme, but I notice it in Ichika. See, this pisses me off because people call Ichika "boring". She's not. She's genuine, her struggles both stated and not. As mentioned before, Ichika now is different from her younger self, and while that isn't a bad thing, it draws a question in my mind that reflects on my own experiences: what are we truly like? Those of us who had past personalities tamped down by external forces and come out completely different, is our "real" personality the old one when these issues were absent or the new one that's developed as we grew? Would that make one of them fake? If they're both the real one, how much do they mix? Are neither of them real?

Obviously the truth is that your sense of self is fluid and there's no right answer, but on some nights you kinda find yourself mourning what you've "lost"

While Ichika has made peace with how she's changed, she's also become more outgoing, and that makes me really happy for her :)

Another thing, this might have to do with a whole host of issues, but ever notice her low self esteem? Yeah. Idk why but to me I think she might have some imposter syndrome earlier on, and BOY HOWDY does that hit where it hurts

Also this one is just silly but yakisoba buns :) she's almost always eating them, reminds me of how I'm always eating this specific maccy cheese

Idk if I covered all the things I wanted to when I started this random blurb but if you're still not convinced, go read the lyrics to the WALL please. And listen to it. And again. And again. And maybe once more for good measure

WAIT HANGON I JUST REMEMBERED WHILST ADDING TAGS. Her communication issues. Autism. Ok have a nice day

is she autistic?

submit your own characters here to be featured!

[exodusin]

Hello! Could you please do a Michael x reader angst to fluff? Maybe where the reader is insecure about themselves and Michael comforts them or smth? P.S keep up the amazing work!! :)

(*ノз`*) BROKEN MIRRORS | M.AFTON.

Thank you for the compliment :D also sorry if this took long :(

art creds @/imsanlee on tiktok

#summary; you don't see the way Michael sees you. It's a masterpiece but his dad’s rude comments, made you think differently.

#note; none of the aftons are dead, no scooping, no bite of 83, no spring lock, this will take place in the early 90s.

#contains; William being a dick, self-esteem issues, negative talk, past parent issues.

#word count; 1648

#fnaf masterlist

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Michael proposed to you two weeks ago- you couldn't be any happier and eagerly said: "Yes, I want to marry you!". You were aware of Michael's father being inimical about your guys' relationship. But did that ever stop you from being with Mike?

Nope, but your emotions are saying otherwise.

The Aftons weren't aware of your marriage, so Michael most likely gave them some sort of news that they'll invite them for a dinner night at your guys' house for the news he was going to tell them.

Elizabeth was really happy knowing his older brother was going to devote himself to you, The red-haired girl loved you like family, "She's going to wear a really beautiful dress, I have to be the flower girl!"

Evan was a really shy kid but did have a soft reaction, "I'm happy for you both but Michael can be mean sometimes, just saying." which he earned a flick on the forehead by your fiance.

Mrs. Afton was super excited about knowing this surprise, heck she was supportive ever since Michael confessed you were his girlfriend, "I remember you two being young idiots in love and now adults truly embracing it. I'm so proud of you both!"

Although, William...

He is a brutally honest man and could care less what people think, not only did he make rude comments about you but when Michael was a teen and started dating you, William would say to Michael that he deserves someone better, saw you as a bad influence to his oldest son and youngest children, and...he wasn't surprised Michael chose you as a spouse because he was his least favorite son.

But the comments towards you did hurt you. The feeling of years ago when you lived with your toxic parents was now rising from the following comments—

"Just like any other tramp out there."

"Ever thought you were picked out of pity?"

"Are you're parents even attending to your important day?" That comment stung you.

You're parents. You haven't seen nor talked to them ever since you graduated high school. Always making you feel like the donkey carrying all the problems.

Blaming you for everything, nagging about your bad grades, the friends you've made, your personality, and your image.

But Michael was the only person to ever make your day the brightest, always making sure you were okay, reminding or making sure you were eating well and getting perfect sleep.

Yeah, he was the biggest bully in school but when it came to you, he's an absolute charm.

Always putting you first.

So why did you care so much about what William thinks? It's because he was right. That's what you thought, you were asked out as a joke many times when you were young, you'd be compared to other people from your parents and they wouldn't bother showing up to something you're deeply excited about.

But now you're starting to have second thoughts.

Why would Michael pick you out of all people?

present

You got out a cold shower, moisturized your body with lotion, and washed your face. You put on your underwear and an oversized (favorite color) shirt than a fluffy robe.

'One last check on the mirror...'

It became a habit nowadays, checking the mirror constantly before Michael came back home from work.

"Am I too annoying?"

"Do I talk too much?"

"Am I boring?"

"Does my face look creepy?"

"Am I really like any other?"

"Is my body not ideal?"

The questions running around your head you were paused when you heard that British voice yelled out your name.

"Have you fallen asleep yet? Don't sleep if you haven't eaten."

You made sure your robe was correctly adjusted and put on the usual happy mask to not worry Michael about your personal problems.

"Uhhh...no I'm still awake!" you shouted so he can hear you from downstairs. You heard footsteps get louder and louder meaning he was going to come into the room.

His blue eyes searched for you and there you were sitting on the bed, perhaps waiting for him. Once his eyes landed on you, he felt his eyes melt with adoration.

"Damn it I miss you..." he whispered then smashed his lips to yours, you kissed him back immediately hoping he wouldn't notice your slightly gloomy behavior.

"Did you just take a shower?"

You scoffed, "My hair is wetter than the ocean, what do you think? I just soaked it in a sewage pipe?" you say in a sarcastic playful manner.

He chuckled and pecked your check, "Heh, yea you took a nice shower, you smell nice, as always of course."

He parted away from you and rubbed your soaked hair, "Let me help you dry it and brush it, love." you felt butterflies in your stomach flutter at the nickname.

"Okay just don't brush it too hard..."

—

Your (hair texture) hair was now soft and dry thanks to your fiance.

"Thank you, Mikey."

The brunette smiled, "It's no problem."

You felt strong arms wrap around you and made you turn to face his beautiful pale face, his blue eyes gazing at yours with adoration, and that styled mullet brown hair that was messy.

'Fuck...'

Michael began rubbing your sides lovingly, then stuffing his face onto your fluffy robe which had your scent and warmth that hypnotizes him.

You felt your cheeks warmth at the feeling, for a return of affection you ran your fingers through his messy mullet which made him groan.

Michael's reaction to this was a muffled groan and glided his face down, his hands reached to grab your robe and move it out of the way to get better access to your thighs.

Just as he was about to treat them, a soft hand was placed on his shoulder which halted him. "Is there something wrong, Y/N?"

You faced the other direction to avoid his gaze which made him knit his brows together in confusion, "I-...I don't really feel like-"

"I understand." Those two words ease you but you still felt...gloomy.

"But don't think I didn't notice your behavior these days. Is something bothering you? Is it something I did?" he asked with concern.

You tried to hold back the tears but gulped and said a simple "no."

He tilted his head still looking at you waiting for a better answer, "Did someone say do something to you?"

'Say...'

"Sort of..." you mumbled with hesitation.

"Who? I'll beat the bastard or bitch."

You breathed in and asked, "Michael, can I ask you something?"

He already paid full attention to you "Yes, anything." and waited patiently for your question, your breath became a bit shaky, "Are...Are you sure you want to marry me?"

His pupils shrunk a bit and his brows furrowed, do you no longer want him? He tried to remain calm and respond to your question with composure, "What kind of question is that? I want to marry you. You're the one for me. Why? Do you...not love me?" the last part sounded like hesitation but you responded quickly-

"It's not that. I love you so much fucking much but...what do you see in me?" you asked, his face now becoming soft and sympathetic.

"Love, what made you think that. You're my everything, fuck if you told me to kill thousands of people I'll do it in a heartbeat." the comment seemed laughable but you still felt gloomy, "It's just that...your father doesn't seem to like me much and he's a brutally honest man...am I like any other...is my parents not even going to attend to my wedding day?"

Michael's Adam's apple bobbed in anger, not at you, but his beloved partner being depressed over the bastard of his father. Messing him was one thing, but messing with you is enough to impel him to break his father's teeth.

Instead of Michael responding verbally, he held you as if there is no tomorrow. He kissed your hair and all over your face, plummeting sweet things "No, don't think that way..." "I will never regret proposing to you or meeting you. Your beautiful, your mine. Y/N please. Don't think you're less because of a stupid 'opinion' my bastard of a father says..."

You tried to contain in the hiccups escaping your lips from the soft crying, "He's right though. My parents won't even attend my wedding they always thought less of me and spoke to me as if I was a piece of horse shit."

Michael sighed and yanked you closer to him and began smooching all over your face, "Please...don't say that...don't do it for me...do it for yourself..." he whispers sweetly.

"You don't understand how I see you. No one can see you the way I do," he says as he gently pulls down the sleeve of your shirt to get better access to your shoulder. "Your parents will make the biggest of their lives by not attending to it, your amazing." he then began kissing your shoulder.

You squeaked at the suddenness,

"You're beautiful."

"I love you."

"I'll do anything for you."

He then began nuzzling your neck, "You're mine. Your parents are the real shitfaces here, not you. Meeting you was the greatest thing that happened to me ever in my life. Our bond is unbreakable, no one can break it."

You began to sob and held him closer to you,

"...T-Thank y-you, Michael."

"No, it's the truth. You're the best thing I never knew I needed..."

[always-andromeda]

Happy 500 to youuuu!!! You deserve each and every one of them and more! Can’t wait for 1k, 2k, 5k…. 10k…. HEHEEEE IT WILL HAPPEN I KNOW THAT FOR A FACT!! You write the BEST fics, nsfw alphabets, headcanons and drabbles on this whole site and I love reading (and re-reading) every piece you put out! Cheers! :D <3<3

Can I request Hurricane (Johnnie's Theme) for Klitzy?? Maybe it’s extra angsty because of his self-esteem issues making him think he’s not worthy of you </3

Author's Note | thank you dearly, anon! I am overwhelmed at your kind words and I do hope that my work continues to impress!! thank you for the request (I hope you're okay with me making it equal parts angsty and a little bit...freaky).

Warnings | mentions of masturbation, nothing else I can think of!

Timothy Klitz spends an ungodly amount of time getting ready in the morning. Analyzing every part of himself in his bathroom mirror, he specifically avoids the sight of his bare chest. That pale, lanky expanse that really makes him cringe.

Today he's finally going to talk to you. And, for once, he's not going to overthink it.

It’s ridiculous being this worked up over a single, measly little person. But somehow, he managed to do it. That’s why his bathroom routine has extended from a leisurely ten minutes to a grueling hour. That’s why he made his mom splurge on soap this time around, opting for a musky cedar wood scent that he figured would drive you wild. He doesn’t actually know what you would like.

So of course he has to resign to Eli’s advice on girls.

Eli tells him that he’s got the face of a God; “You could do porn with that face, if you wanted.” Eli had once reasoned with him.

That sounds like the joke of the century. He's nothing special. And a girl hasn't complimented him on his looks since he was in the second grade. And even then, that was from his mom when she dressed him up for his elementary school's Christmas choir performance. He can still hear her coo, "Oh, you look so handsome, Timothy!"He hopes that if you ever call him that, it's in a more mature tone. Not like he's a baby.

But if he can't just suck it up and actually talk to you, he's never going to hear that.

All he knows is that he has to stop living his life through the Sims. That is another matter entirely.

Yes, he may have possibly made you into a Sim. And yes, he possibly also made himself a Sim. And sure, he pulled the strings to make the pixel people fall in love with each other and eventually move in together.

At least he doesn’t…he doesn’t…oh, fuck it. He can’t even pretend that he doesn’t like to watch them woohoo with each other.

He wants to feel ashamed of himself when he jerks off as if he was watching actual porn. But he isn’t. Weirdly, it feels like he’s cum harder just from fantasizing about what might go on underneath that silly sheet than from actual porn. Something about those happy little Simlish babbles he hears as little you and little him mess around under the covers in the digital realm gets him going.

If you were his, he’d make you make those sounds all the time. Now that’s something Eli would truly laugh at him about. Klitz might not be ugly. But he sure as hell is pathetic, gross, and a coward.

He’s an absolute wreck as he walks past you in school, hands shoved in his pockets, shirt untucked (because only nerds tuck in their shirts, reasoned Eli), and hair combed perfectly. 

And you looked at him first. Almost by accident really. But the second you caught his nervous little glance your way from behind those oval lenses, you couldn’t get over him. He was just...pretty. Almost bug eyed and innocent even though they only lingered for a few seconds.

You'd seen him around a little bit; vaguely remembering that he hung out with the teacher's pet and that one weird kid who's obsessed with porn. But he stands out from them, not only in height but in his quiet demeanor and little, side sweeping glances. Yeah, you decide, he's very pretty.

“Looking good today, Klitzy!” You call as he passes by.

And Klitz has to clench his hands in his pockets and stifle a barbaric yawp when he replies, “Oh, thanks. You too!”

But that doesn’t stop the smile that oozes onto his expression, growing so wide that he swears he feels his entire face caving in from how much his cheeks ache.

He’s never said a word to you before now. And yet you knew his name.

[missmonsters2]

today I feel awful... idk my insecurities are taking over me and I just want to curl into a ball and cry. maybe it's my hormones maybe the fact that I weighted myself and found out I gained weight (I can't fit into my jeans 😭) and the fact that I saw my sister in a tight skin dress looking perfect while I'm in my pj's just destroyed my confidence. I need something angsty to read to make me forget about my sad, miserable lffe right now. would you be down in writing sth angsty with nat maybe? you don't have to though. it's fine either way. I really appreciate all of your work and I keep reading on repeat whenever I'm feeling down. makes me cheer up. thank you, van ❤️

It's like we're the same person because I also went to visit my sister recently and my sister has gotten her life together and is living her best hot girl bod while I...let's not go there.

I just want you to know that you're hot as fuck and a body is just a body that we can change with time and effort. We're lit rally in this together. This time next year, we will be rocking the body that makes up happy and we'll be healthy!!! 💘💘

But I will still give you nat angst...but with a happy ending bc I said you deserve a HEA!!

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

The Withers of Springtime Bloom

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader

Summary: Spring is a time of blooming and when things come back to life. You can't help but notice things that may be causing your relationship with Natasha to wither.

Warnings: self-esteem issues, insecurities about body, relationship with working out and food, seasonal depression. angst with HEA.

Count: 2.1k~

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

You're not sure when things changed.

Things change so slowly after all.

Without you noticing, things change and change and change until one day, you do notice.

You notice that Natasha has become quieter, somber.

You notice the lack of date nights and affectionate touches.

You notice that you've let yourself go a little.

You're standing in front of the mirror, staring at your body with a frown. You've gained weight since dating Natasha, but relationship weight gain was normal, wasn't it?

But you remember how Natasha was just as fit as she was before she met you. Sure, she was a superhero, and you were a regular civilian; there was no reason for you to train long hours as Natasha did.

Still...

You turn to the side and peer at yourself in the mirror again.

You can't help but wonder...were you becoming less attractive to her?

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

It had been the beginning of fall when you met Natasha. You loved the season of change and when things turned into warm colors before withering away for winter to come.

Natasha had come like a blessing, and in the winter, she was just warm as the colors of fall. Instead of withering away, she bloomed and invested that warmth in your relationship with her.

Despite always being an early riser to work out, weekends were the days she stayed in bed with you just a little longer. There had been so many breakfasts, lunch, and dinner dates. You found yourself moving things around or neglecting to work around her busy schedule.

Perhaps that was when things began to change. Eating out so often and forgoing working out to spend time with Natasha was what led to this.

Spring has arrived, and things are coming back to life. Yet somehow, your relationship with Natasha was withering away.

"Hey," you greet her as you come home, shopping bags in hand. You bought some more clothes when things felt like they didn't fit comfortably anymore. The experience had been upsetting for you, and you didn't end up buying too much, telling yourself you didn't want to spend too much when you were going to lose the weight.

Natasha was working in her office, peering down over reports, and barely acknowledged you other than with a hum.

"Long day?" You ask her as you put your things away and walk over to her.

"Yeah," Natasha sighed. "Trying to get these reports done since Maria needs them tomorrow."

That had been Natasha's excuse for spending long hours in her office every night for the last two weeks.

You place your hand on Natasha's shoulder with a reassuring squeeze, but she leans to the side as if to readjust herself, but still away from your touch.

The sting immediately comes, but you try to push it down, so it doesn't hurt as bad.

"Right," you say hoarsely, but Natasha stares on at the reports. "I'm just going to get ready for bed. It's been a long day and all. Let me know if you need anything."

Natasha gives you a nod as you leave the room. You feel awkward as you lie in the bed you share with her. You wonder if you're taking up too much space.

There's a pang of something as you try to curl yourself to be smaller and only distantly realizing you've skipped dinner before you fall asleep.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

You fall back onto the mat, chest heaving and your lungs burning.

It's been a while since you've worked out, and now you're definitely paying for it with how unfit you are.

The gym is moderately empty with the hour it is. You hate going to a public gym because it always feels like someone is staring, but it's better for strangers to stare than working out at the Compound for people you know to stare at you.

The rational part of you knows that you should just talk to Natasha, but the emotional side of you whispers that you won't like what Natasha has to say, that she might even end it before you've had a chance to change yourself.

When weeks pass, and you weigh yourself again, you almost start crying because you've only lost a couple of pounds.

It's normal, you know it is. You're losing weight at a normal rate, but it's not enough. You know fast weight loss wouldn't make sense for your body but you also feel you don't have half a year to go back to your normal weight.

You sit on the bathroom floor for hours, debating what to do when you hear a quiet knock.

"Sweetheart, are you in there?" Natasha's muffled voice comes through.

You wipe at your eyes furiously as you stand up.

"Y-Yeah," you answer back. "I'm just in the tub soaking."

There's a moment of silence through the door before Natasha answers back, "Alright. Enjoy yourself. Did you want me to order anything specific for dinner?"

"No, it's okay," you tell her. "You order anything you want. I already ate on my way home." You think about the chicken salad you've been eating for the past two weeks and almost sigh.

Natasha answered that she just came back to see if you've eaten, but she actually had to head back to the Compound. You were Natasha shuffling around before leaving through the front door, and you let out the breath you were holding.

You actually take a long, hot shower before putting on sweats and a big hoodie.

The truth was, you were hungry. The chicken salad was okay on the way home, but it had been a couple of hours since.

You knew starving yourself wasn't the answer, so you went into the kitchen to see if you could find something healthy to hold you over until you could go to bed.

But you can't find anything in the fridge except for Natasha's leftovers from whatever she ordered the day before. You can't find anything except frozen pizzas and microwavable foods.

You check the calories on the back and let out a frustrated sigh. Checking your watch, you realize it's too late in the evening to go grocery shopping because, by the time you get there, stores will have closed.

You slump down on the floor, leaning against the cabinets as you let out a pathetic whimper while your eyes became hot with tears.

You miss Natasha. You want Natasha holding you and telling you it would be okay. But you couldn't have that until you were back to what you were when you met her.

The front door suddenly opens.

"Have you seen my—sweetheart?" Natasha started to call before she noticed you sitting on the floor. "What's wrong?"

You use your sleeve to wipe at your eyes as you sit up straight.

"Nothing," you sniffle before you start to stand. "I just stubbed my toe against the edge of the kitchen island. What were you looking for? USB? You left it next to the bedside."

Natasha stares at your back, hair still wet as she takes in your attire.

"It's a little hot to be wearing a hoodie and sweats, isn't it?" Natasha asks softly. "Doesn't seem like you turned on the aircon in here."

You keep walking, but Natasha starts to follow you.

"'m cold," you say quietly so she can't hear the tremble in your voice.

"Are you feeling sick?" Natasha asks with concern as you sit down on the couch, turning on the TV. You pull the blanket over you as if to make your point.

"No," you tell her because you don't want her to worry. "Just cold after a bath."

Natasha sets her things down before she takes a seat next to you. Even in the low lighting, she can see your eyes rimmed red and dampness of them.

You're refusing to look at her as you have your knees drawn up to your chest and stare stubbornly at the TV screen.

Then she hears it.

Your stomach grumbles.

"Are you hungry, sweetheart?" Natasha asks softly again. "We can just order food and stay in tonight."

Your cheeks grow hot. "Don't you have to be at the Compound?"

You don't mean to snap at her, but you can't help but feel embarrassed.

Natasha remains quiet for a moment, quickly thinking over the last few weeks before she feels guilt trickle in.

She doesn't remember the last time she ate with you—doesn't remember the last time she saw you eat.

"Sweetheart," she calls you gently again, and you bristle at the tone. "Is there something wrong?"

The fragile dam you've built to keep the weeks of compiling emotions at bay breaks, and you're hurtling down the stream over the waterfall.

"Are you not in love with me anymore?" You choke out as you begin to cry.

You can't even register to feel horrified at your breakdown because you just need to know.

"I know...I know my body has changed since we first met and I've gained weight but I really am trying to lose it. I just—I feel like you're avoiding me. At first, I thought things at work have been really stressful for you, and I wanted to give you space but you're gone all the time. You're gone even when you're here."

Natasha can barely understand anything you've said after hearing you say the first part. Her breath hitches painfully in the back of her throat, and she legitimately feels appalled at herself.

She starts to say something, but you keep going.

"I'm sorry, I don't want to make this about me because if you're going through something then I want to support and be there for you. But I can't help but feel like you're grossed out by me. I mean—I feel grossed out when I look at myself. I feel like I'm taking up so much space—"

Natasha cuts you off abruptly, pulling off the blanket as she pulls at you until you're in her lap.

"Nat—"

"You're not gross and this is not about the weight you have or have not gained. You hear me?" Natasha says forcefully as she holds you close to her, hand over your thigh to keep you against her.

"God, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry if I've been making you feel like you're not attractive me," Natasha's eyes well up as your tears wet her shoulder. "You're literally still the most gorgeous person I've ever met and you're always going to be that to me."

Natasha's hand at your waist dips underneath your hoodie, her fingers trailing up your back as she sighs at your warmth. "I should've told you, but the springtime is just really hard for me. It's odd because it's a time for things to come back to life but some of the worst things have happened to me during the spring and things blooming makes me think about things that aren't coming back. I think it's also just a little bit of seasonal depression too. I'm just the rare percentage that gets it in the spring."

The explanation makes your body sag with relief because while you feel so horrible that there is a reason Natasha doesn't like spring, she's not falling out of love with you.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize that I was hurting you," Natasha apologizes again. "I didn't mean to be so distant but I didn't want to bring your mood down as well, which is why I've been working so much to keep busy."

"It's okay," you muttered as your turn your head, forehead pressed against her neck. "I'm sorry spring is depressing for you."

Natasha merely hushes you as she kisses the side of your head.

You begin to feel awkward, thinking about how you must be heavy on her and try to move, but Natasha doesn't let you.

"Sweetheart, I don't know how to convince you that you're perfect to me," Natasha says so seriously as she forces you to look at her. "If you want to lose weight because that is what you want, then I support you. But I need you to understand that I love you no matter what. I don't care either way because you're so fucking lovely to me always. Do you understand?"

Timidly, you reply, "Okay. Thank you."

Natasha presses her lips against yours in a long kiss before she pulls back.

"Now, I'm going to ask again. Are you hungry? We can order in and watch that new show on Netflix I heard was pretty good from Wanda."

You feel lighter. You think you might still want to work out because that would make you happy, but you don't feel the rush like you did just a couple of hours ago.

"Yeah," you say shyly. "But maybe something not so heavy?"

Natasha nods as she presses another kiss into your cheek as she helps you settle onto the couch right beside her to grab her phone.

"Anything to make you bloom."

[aphrostarot]

The Emperor Pick a Pile

If you feel like you need to set better boundaries, protect your energy, and fully embrace your boss energy then this pick a pile is for you.

Please remember that this is a general reading and some things may not apply to you. Don't force it to fit. I offer paid readings on my page if you would like a personal reading. Prices are listed there. Please message me or email me if you are interested!

Pile One:

What things are currently out of control in your life?

Death:

To me, it seems as if you are constantly trying to control everything in your life. Additionally, I believe that you may fear change on top of the control issues. Intuitively, you may know when big changes are coming, which provides you with a chance to delay them, but you do not seem to have been able to do that recently. Change keeps coming your way no matter what you do, which has been making you pretty stressed out. However, you are unaware that these changes are helping you to become a better version of yourself.

Passion Ignited:

A new beginning within your soul passions is the theme of this card. This suggests that your passions have undergone some major shifts. Maybe you've lost your job recently, or maybe you've just realized that what you once loved isn't what you want anymore. There may be people in your life who are putting pressure on you, trying to make you do things that you do not want to do, which has further contributed to your stress. It seems you have been struggling lately trying to figure out how to pursue what you really want while also making the people around you happy, regardless of the situation. You need to know that your own happiness is all that you need to focus on, not anyone else’s.

Heart Chakra:

Given your current situation, it makes sense that your heart chakra is currently out of balance. It's difficult to have parts of your life out of your control, especially when it comes to your chakras. During this time, you can begin to regain balance within this chakra by practicing more self-care.

What do you have control over in your life?

Seven of Cups:

Right now, you are unaware that regaining control over your passions is within your reach. All you need to do is realize this and take the necessary steps to regain control. The first step is to do what makes you happy and stop trying to make everyone else happy.

Trapped in Fear:

It seems that an unnecessary amount of worry plagues you. Since you are filled with so much worry you are unaware that these worries are actually preventing you from taking the steps necessary to regain control over the things you have lost along the way. Get out of your own head, stop letting your fears drive your life, and take control of your life again. Get back in the driver's seat.

What is outside of your power?

Two of Pentacles:

Your finances may have suffered as a result of your struggles with your passions. It may have been a long time since you were financially stable. At this point, this does not need your attention. Right now, your financial security is beyond your control. What you have control over is how to regain balance in what you want to pursue, not how much money you will make. Money worries are not necessary right now. You are focusing too much on the future when you should really be focusing on the present.

Patience:

During this time, you need to be patient with yourself and your journey. By exercising patience, you will not only regain control over parts of your journey that have gone off track, but you will also feel balanced within yourself, which may eventually allow you to let go of some of your worries.

Solar Plexus Chakra:

This chakra is associated with your psychic abilities and inner feelings. As I mentioned before, you may have a strong intuition, and this card seems to confirm it. Currently, it appears that this part of yourself is out of balance. You may want to try yoga or breathwork to help you restore your balance. Also, keep a close eye out for other people and energies surrounding you.

What should you be saying no to in your life?

Page of Cups:

It is possible that you are an extremely sensitive person. This can cause you to live with your head in the clouds, seeing the best in everything and everyone. As a result, you are often taken advantage of. Some people in your life may only keep you around for you to fulfill their needs. It is time that you begin to say no to the people who take advantage of you and your energy. Now is the time for you to focus on yourself and your journey.

Sacral Chakra:

It seems that most of your chakras are out of balance. The Sacral Chakra focuses on your emotions, desires, sexuality, and creativity. Because you are surrounded by some energy sharks in your life you have not been able to fully express yourself. Now is the time for you to do this. Try dancing, or meditation to help you find balance in this area. Also, it is important that you remember that you matter, regardless of what others tell you!

What is something you should keep in your life that needs maintenance?

Six of Cups:

For some, you may be in a soulmate relationship right now and debating on if this person is truly meant for you or not. This is a sign that they are meant for you, but that your relationship just needs a bit of work to maintain. For others, I am getting that an ex has recently come back into your life and you don’t know if you should take them back or not. This is a sign that you should be taking them back but that once you do, you will need to go about the relationship differently than how you did in the past.

Knight of Cups:

This person is very romantic and cares deeply for you and your feelings. You can count on them to be loyal and dedicated to you. They want what is best for you and are willing to provide you with a fairytale romance. Considering you have an out-of-balance heart chakra right now, it would make sense that you may be having questions about this relationship. The maintenance here is you regaining balance in your heart chakra so you are more willing to accept the love this person offers.

Hope:

For some, it feels to me that you had been lacking hope in your life for some time before this person came into your life. Having them here makes you feel things that you have not felt for so long, and that makes you worry that it won't last. You've rediscovered freedom through hope and this leaves you feeling nervous about the outcome because you are frightened that things won't work out, leaving you heartbroken.

Temptation:

There is a substantial amount of sexual desire between the two of you. If this is your ex then maybe this was one of the reasons why the two of you ended up breaking up in the past, as you didn't take the time to get to know each other and only focused on sex instead of developing an emotional relationship. If that is the case, your guides are telling you that you need to make sure you don't get lost in lust in this relationship, as you did the last time.

What is something that brings you joy that you should keep safe at all times?

Eight of Swords:

At some point in your life, you may have struggled to maintain happiness. Perhaps it wouldn’t stick around once it came, or maybe you didn't know what made you happy. Because of this, you need to protect your happiness at all costs. As well as keeping your mental health safe. Particularly from yourself.

Six of Swords:

Progress in your life is what makes you happy. When you start to see all your hard work paying off in your life, especially on things you have been struggling with, it gives you an extreme sense of pride in yourself. You are being told that at all costs you need to keep that feeling. Don’t let what other people have to say about you and your journey make you lose your happiness. Make sure you are doing things that make you happy, not things that make others happy.

Triumph:

The meaning of this card is essentially the same as that of the Six of Swords or The Chariot in Tarot. Your guides are telling you that you must make sure that your progress is protected at all costs. Don't let others dictate your life. The only person who can control what you do in life is you, so take back control. Let yourself be happy.

Channeled Messages:

Library:

You can see from the picture of this layout that this card depicts a woman who is essentially a puppet. Your life is in the hands of others, and they have the power to control your emotions, your actions, and who you are. This card warns you of that. Now is the time to take control of your own narrative. Don't let other people tell you how to live your life. Live your life for yourself and no one else.

5461:

I encourage you to look up this angel number as it can have many different meanings. Search Google for "angel number 5461 meaning" and see what your guides have to say.

Pile Two:

What things are currently out of control in your life?

Nine of Swords (reversed):

You have been plagued with nightmares recently. Traumas from your past that you were putting off have come back with greater intensity. They have become such a problem that you don’t know where to begin when it comes to healing. The good thing is that you are willing to find a way out, it's just that your mental state has become so out of control that you are feeling overwhelmed.

Three of Cups:

Your current state makes it difficult for you to celebrate all you have accomplished in life. You have been in such a funk and dark place and have not really experienced a second of joy as of lately. You may even feel that joy seems far away and unattainable right now.

Solar Plexus Chakra:

Solar Plexus Chakra is the center of self-esteem and confidence. Yours seems to be out of balance right now, which means that you may be experiencing some major self-doubt right now. You can get this back into balance by doing yoga or breathwork. Additionally, be aware of the people and energies that surround you. Energy sharks are the last thing you need in your life.

What do you have control over in your life?

The Emperor:

Considering I am doing the Emperor's reading, it is interesting to have it come through as something you are in complete control of at this time. It appears that you do not realize how much control you really have over your life. You already have all the power you need, you just need to realize it. Currently, your current inner turmoil has been affecting your view of yourself, but your guides are letting you know that there's nothing to fear at this moment, you have everything you need inside yourself to conquer your demons.

Balance:

You have complete control over invoking balance in your life. I know that right now it may not seem like it but you truly do have the power to take back your control over your mindset. Your anxieties no longer have to control your daily life. Making an appointment with a therapist can help you regain balance in your life. Remember that asking for help is not a sign of weakness. If therapy is out of the picture then try yoga, or doing something that helps alleviate some of your stress like drawing, or going to an art exhibit.

What is outside of your power?

Nine of Wands:

Currently, you are experiencing a great deal of inner conflict. Because of this inner turmoil, you feel as though there is no way out, which makes your stress levels even higher. You have been trying to get out of this situation with all your might, but you are trying too hard and not taking the proper actions. As your guides tell you, the way you are going about getting out of this is not the best way. By stressing so much, trying to escape, you are actually making your situation more difficult. I feel that some of you think that being in darkness is a sign of weakness, which is why you try so hard to get out. Right now your guides are telling you that your lesson is to allow yourself to feel something other than positive emotions.

Queen of Cups:

The Queen of Cups is extremely empathetic, someone who puts others ahead of herself and never fails to show compassion and understanding. When it comes to other people, you are quite good at this, but not when it comes to yourself. It is time for you to show yourself compassion. According to your guides, right now getting out of this situation is out of your control, which tells me you're meant to go through it. For some, I believe that you are going through your dark night of the soul right now. This is a necessary step in your transformation and self-discovery, one that should not be rushed. The best thing for you right now is to show yourself the same compassion and understanding you so easily exhibit toward others.

Sacral Chakra:

Your Sacral Chakra is the center of your creativity and sexuality. Right now, this seems out of balance for you. It has affected not only your motivation and creativity but also your sexuality. In recent months, you may have found it difficult to fully express yourself. Your guides are telling you that this is just a part of your current journey, and you should not worry about it right now. Since you've been stressed out about so many things recently, this has actually made your current situation worse. You should relax and give yourself the opportunity to take a break from constantly worrying about how you haven't been acting as you did in the past. You are undergoing a transformation as part of which you are changing. You should not worry about how you are acting differently than you used to.

What should you be saying no to in your life?

Six of Pentacles:

You are a very caring and understanding person. Even when you are trying to deal with your own issues, you are constantly there for people in your life. You have been putting a strain on your mental health by sharing too much, and now is the time to say no to the energy sharks who call themselves your friends. It is unhealthy for you to be around people who know you are going through something and expect you to be there for them constantly. It's time to begin saying no to them, let them figure it out on their own, and if they get upset at the idea of you taking care of yourself then they aren't meant to be in your life.

Three of Swords:

As you are going through a big transformation in your life, you feel very heartbroken and lost, and by constantly being there for the people in your life, you ignore yourself and your needs, which has been making your recovery much harder. It's time to put yourself first, stop thinking about others before yourself.

Throat Chakra:

Your Throat Chakra has been blocked for quite some time, and now is the time to begin speaking up for yourself. It is quite literally speaking up when you have something to say that will help you unblock this chakra. Quit silencing yourself to avoid rocking the boat.

What is something you should keep in your life that needs maintenance?

Two of Cups:

You are currently in a soulmate relationship, whether it is romantic or platonic. This relationship that you have been questioning recently is meant to stay in your life. Recently there have been problems with its harmony, which may have caused you to question it. These problems are not a reason to end it, there is just some upkeep and maintenance to be done.

Four of Wands:

Currently, this relationship may be lacking stability, so your guides are telling you to find stability as soon as possible. If you live with this person, you may want to try redecorating or rearranging your furniture to make it more comfortable for both of you. You could also try having a date night with this person at home in a comfortable environment that will help you two regain some stability.

Power:

You have the inner strength and willpower to get through your current situation, especially when it comes to this person. Due to all of your worrying, you may not realize this. Right now, you must remember just how strong you are to help you overcome your problems.

What is something that brings you joy that you should keep safe at all times?

The Hermit:

You may like to be alone, preferring your alone time over hanging out with a bunch of people. Even if you are in a relationship, you still prefer to have some alone time. This is something you should not change about yourself, according to your guides. Do not let other people change or judge this aspect of yourself. This is a part of your identity that should be protected and not changed.

The Chariot:

You prefer to move around and travel rather than staying in one place for a long period of time. For some, I’m getting that you want to move out of your home town but there are people in your life who are pressuring you to stay. You are being told by your guides to keep your free spirit intact, do not let other people's pressure and judgment change you.

Wisdom:

Your desire to learn is constant. You always want to broaden your perspective and knowledge, and your guides are telling you to keep this part of yourself safe. Never stop learning, it is what makes you so unique.

Emotional Loss:

It is possible for you to move on and heal from any emotional loss, whether you are aware of it or not. You may not think that is the case right now because you have been in darkness for so long, but your guides are telling you that you have the power to heal yourself and move forward and you need to keep this part of yourself protected.

Channeled Messages:

Red:

Right now, your guides are telling you to forgive. You should forgive those who have let you down in your life, forgive yourself for not allowing yourself to feel pain, and forgive yourself for being upset with your guides for making you have to go through this pain. For some, I believe you have been extremely angry with your guides during this time, believing they have abandoned you or that they do not have your best interests at heart. Your anger is 100% valid and you need to forgive yourself for hating them.

1211:

I encourage you to look up this angel number as it can have many different meanings. Search Google for "angel number 1211 meaning" and see what your guides have to say.

Pile Three:

What things are currently out of control in your life?

Two of Wands:

You may have just entered a partnership recently. In most cases, the Two of Wands describes a business partnership but based on the energy I am getting from this pile, I feel this could pertain to a romantic relationship for some. When this card comes out, it shows how well you and your partner work together and that you will go far together.

Page of Wands:

This person is an extremely friendly individual. They are very adventurous and fun-loving. Their charm and ability to communicate enable them to make friends easily. If this is a business relationship this is what has helped or will help the two of you get far.

Trapped in Fear:

This person's friendliness has been eating away at you for a long time. You are scared that this person’s friendliness will not make them committed to you. That they will leave you for something or someone better. Your fear has taken control over you and this relationship and it has gotten so bad that it is so far out of your control now.

Light:

You have let your fear control your life and your relationship, which has affected your happiness, especially in this relationship. Previously, you could fake happiness around this person, but now it has gotten so bad that you are unable to fake it.

What do you have control over in your life?

Two of Pentacles:

You may have struggled to maintain balance in your life in the past, but lately, that is not something that you struggle with anymore. Your life seems to be getting back to normal now that you have recently started regaining balance in areas where it had been missing for some time.

The Hierophant:

While it may not apply to everyone, I am seeing that you may have been unsure about marriage for some time now, which may be due to your lack of balance, but as of now, I am seeing that you may want to get married in the near future. A marriage, you feel, will give you a solid foundation in your life. For those who are already married, you may have felt that your marriage was one of the things lacking stability in your life, but now that you have regained a sense of balance in your life, it seems to be doing well.

Firm Foundation:

Following a period where you were lacking stability in your life, your guides are expressing to you that now you can create a foundation that is firm and lasting in your life. Whether it's marriage or finding stability and balance in your relationships, this is something to look forward to.

What is outside of your power?

The World:

You have a lot of anxieties when it comes to endings in your life, especially endings in your relationships whether romantic or platonic. Your guides are telling you that these endings are beyond your control. You cannot always keep people in your life, and that is okay. It is not possible to force people to stay or to put off endings. You need to let go of your fears in these situations.

Stand your Ground:

You have been allowing your fears and anxieties control your life for quite some time now and your guides are telling you that now is the time you stood your ground. You need to learn to control your anxieties.

What should you be saying no to in your life?

Seven of Cups:

You are being presented with a variety of options in your life, and most of these options are tempting you to veer off course. You are being told not to steer off course by your guides. Currently, you are on the right track and you do not need to change direction anytime soon. Say no to the people or things that tempt you to change.

Temptation:

We have established that you are being tempted by people and things in your life that seem much more fun than your current path. Stay on course; don't let these temptations lead you to change your direction. All the signs you get are urging you to stay on track.

What is something you should keep in your life that needs maintenance?

Seven of Wands (reversed):

It feels as though you have fought tooth and nail to get to the point where you currently are, and you are tempted to change your course of action because nothing is going your way. You feel pretty defeated right now in some areas of your life.

Justice:

In this situation, you should know that justice will be served to you. Your efforts will pay off, all you need to do is start believing that you are worthy of winning. That's what needs maintenance, your mindset.

Spiritual Union:

What we have been discussing might be a soulmate connection, be it romantic or platonic. When it comes to this relationship, it may seem as though things are not going your way, but your guides are telling you that this is not the case, you will soon be facing justice.

What is something that brings you joy that you should keep safe at all times?

The Empress:

The Empress represents growth and feminine energy. You embody The Empress' qualities. You have a strong sense of self-worth and exude a calming and nurturing energy. Your guides are telling you to hold onto this side of you at all costs. Don't let someone or something make you lose this part of yourself.

Ace of Wands:

Starting new passions is something that brings you great joy. You are constantly moving onto new passions because you love the excitement they bring. Your guides are telling you to never let this side of you go, keep it safe at all costs.

Emotional Loss:

In the past, you may have experienced a major heartbreak that caused you to want to change aspects of yourself in order to get this person back or to make more people like you. Taking this step is not a good idea. You are being told here that changing yourself for someone else is not the right way to go about your life journey and you should not let other people's pressure to change your personality damage yours.

Channeled Messages:

Sword:

You have been considering making a change recently, whether it is cutting your hair or starting a new hobby, and your guides are telling you to go for it here.

5849:

I encourage you to look up this angel number as it can have many different meanings. Search Google for "angel number 5849 meaning" and see what your guides have to say.

Pile Four:

What things are currently out of control in your life?

Three of Cups:

All things fun are associated with the Three of Cups. Previously, you may have been the party animal, the one everyone turned to for fun and to plan all of the get-togethers. Now, you have changed and it seems that people in your life still expect you to be that person, but you are no longer that person. It has become a conflicted situation since you feel that you have to fulfill that role in order for the peace to continue.

Harmony:

You are trying to be an old version of yourself in order to maintain harmony in your relationships at the moment, which is why it seems that harmony is lacking in them at the moment. You’ll be unhappy because you have to pretend to be someplace you’re not, so the harmony can't be maintained. It's hard to pretend to be happy when you're not.

What do you have control over in your life?

Eight of Pentacles:

At this time in your life, you have control over your mind. You know that you are not that old version of yourself, and you know that you do not want to be that person. Because you think the people in your life won't enjoy this new version of you, you pretend that you are still that person. Your guides are telling you with this card that you are in control of who you are and you know who you are. It shouldn't be necessary for you to pretend to be someone you aren't. People who do not like you for who you are aren't meant to be in your life.

Sacral Chakra:

In your Sacral Chakra, you find all of your feelings, desire, creativity, and sexuality. You may not realize you are in control of these things in your life because you're trying so hard to be someone you're not. By pretending to be an old version of yourself, your guides are telling you that you are causing this chakra to get out of balance. Stop trying to be someone you're not. It's unhealthy.

What is outside of your power?

Nine of Wands:

You will experience small setbacks in your journey with the nine of wands. Therefore, I am not surprised that you are experiencing some stress in your life due to setbacks. Every time you think you are getting closer to the finish line, something comes up that sets you back a few steps. Your guides are telling you that there really is nothing you can do to stop this from happening. Sometimes you will face setbacks, that’s just how life is.

Financial and Material Changes:

Money changes may be involved in these setbacks. It is possible that you are spending more than you are earning, causing you to struggle financially. Alternatively, you may be in a career such as running your own business where money doesn’t come as often as you’d like which pushes you back a few steps in your path. There's not much you can do about this at the moment, according to your guides.

What should you be saying no to in your life?

The Hanged Man:

In order to keep the peace, you have been making sacrifices in your life for quite some time now. One of the main sacrifices is you feeling the need to change yourself to make your friends happy. Your guides are telling you now is the time to stop feeling the need to change yourself for others.

The Star:

There is a small part of you that wishes you could one day feel happy while doing this. Your guides, however, say this is not the case. It is pointless to hope that one-day things will go well for you while you pretend to be someone you aren't.

Balance:

There is a lack of balance in your life right now because you are not fully expressing yourself. In order for you to regain balance in your life, your guides are telling you to stop thinking you have to be someone you are not in order for others to like you.

What is something you should keep in your life that needs maintenance?

The Devil:

For quite some time now, you've been lacking fun and happiness in your life. This is because you believe pretending to be someone other than yourself will allow you to have fun. Having fun within your true self is what your guides are telling you to do. Make a point of finding new things that make you happy and things that you enjoy doing. You can have fun while being yourself.

The World:

You need a completion in your life right now. A completion in you thinking that in order for you to be liked you need to be someone else. It is now time to start showing your true self instead of hiding it.

Deception and Envy:

You may be jealous of the people in your life who are more confident than you are and do not fear expressing themselves. Your guides are telling you that expressing your true self will help you overcome this jealousy.

What is something that brings you joy that you should keep safe at all times?

Six of Cups:

A soulmate relationship in your life is something you need to protect at all costs. Though I do believe that it is a platonic relationship, it could be either romantic or platonic. Your guides are telling you that this person brings you great joy and you shouldn't let them go.

Firm Foundation:

Possibly this person has been in your life for quite some time now, and you have a solid relationship with them. You two get along really well together and are extremely comfortable in each other's company. In front of this person, you might even be able to express yourself fully. According to your guides, you should keep this relationship safe at all costs. You shouldn't let your current situation affect your relationship with this person.

Channeled Messages:

Potion:

During this time, your guides encourage you to practice self-care and self-love. Since you've been hiding your true self for so long, you've forgotten to take care of yourself. At this time, make sure that you are putting yourself first.

Lioness:

You have come a long way in your life and have experienced so many things that have left you physically and emotionally scarred. Here, the message is not to hide. As a result of your life experiences, you have accumulated some scars, but you should not be ashamed of them. The time has come for you to fully embrace everything that makes you who you are.

1332:

I encourage you to look up this angel number as it can have many different meanings. Search Google for "angel number 1332 meaning" and see what your guides have to say.

Though tips are not required, they are very much appreciated. Thank you!

Venmo: @ aphrostarot

Paypal: paypal/aphrostarot

[becomingbts]

Time heals (sometimes) - 1

Summary: 6 years ago, (Y/N) thought that she was finally taking her life into her hands, leaving behind a toxic and abusive relationship with a man who taught her she’d never be worthy of love. However, it became hard to ignore his words when she met her seven soulmates who rejected her without even giving her a chance to prove herself. It took (Y/N) 3 years to realize that it wouldn’t be her end. She would live on to prove them all wrong; she would become what they all thought she wasn’t: someone worthy of love. And as she stands proudly on the stage, under the  burning spotlights and the applause and  the cries of the delirious crowd, she feels alive. Alive, just like the bond she believed to be broken.

Pairings: Y/N x OT7

GENRE: Soulmate AU!, Idol Y/NAU!, semi social-media AU!, ANGST (mainly), fluff, romance, maybe smut in the series.

Ask or comment to be tagged!

1.5k

Warnings:  The series is going to be heavy with a lot of personal experiences  mixed into the fiction, so this is going to be kind of therapeutic for me. Please, consider not reading the series if you are not comfortable with: abandonment issues, anxiety, panic attacks, depression, self-harm (not descriptive and only part of MC’s past), suicide thoughts (in the past), toxic behavior, toxic and abusive relationship (in the past), depreciating self-talk and low self-esteem, a lot of curse, physical and mental pain, near death experience situation (in the past), and maybe smut scenes (happy ending though, but it will probably be quite the ride).

NOTE: So hello everyone, welcome to Time Heals (sometimes). Thank you so, so much for the warm welcoming, it has been my first time getting so many asks, I was honestly overjoyed. I still don’t really know what to call this part; is it a teaser? A note? A full chapter? I believe we’ll get some snapshot of memories like this one throughout the series because there is going to be a lot to unpack on both sides. I think it will be a chapter nevertheless because I have to establish some kind of order as to which parts should be read first, and I think this one is extremely important.

Thank you for reading,

-Dolly

Profiles #2 - here - part 2

Her scream pierced through the air while cries broke in the frenzied arena while a single blond-haired man froze, emptily staring at the stage. It felt like his senses heightened; his skin was shuddering, his eyes were frantically searching for one specific figure while his voice was lost in his throat. The screams resonating in the stadium would have been too loud for his voice to be heard anyway. 

Jimin knew he shouldn’t be there. 

Namjoon had told them more than once that none of them should try to go to one of (Y/N)’s events. It could be dangerous and they could be overwhelmed; anything could happen to them and they would still remain a nobody who fainted in the howling crowd. Would they want to take this risk? No.

So, Jimin would have had to admit that going to her very first concert in Seoul since the pandemic sounded like a very, very, very bad idea. And to be honest, it still didn’t seem to be a bright idea now that he was actually there. 

But he still went because he needed to see her for himself; to see how she was. He had so many things he dreamed about asking her. Are you okay? Are you sleeping well? Did you eat before coming to the arena? Are you nervous? Do you... remember me? 

Maybe he was torturing himself. He kept on watching her lives, following her on all social media, always made sure to leave a sweet comment, and never miss any of her new updates... Maybe he even had a folder of pictures of her on his phone but he’d never admit it to any of his mates. Taehyung would probably take his phone away from him and delete everything and Jimin couldn’t let that happen.

He felt like it was cheating. Don’t take him wrong though. When he thought that, he was not really thinking about the boys. They did collectively agree not to follow her activities as an artist but it was getting harder and harder with how popular she got anyway. Moon was everywhere. In commercials, on the radio, her songs were on the TV… Even if she was known for refusing most of the promotional contracts that were offered to her, her image was still constantly in the media despite her avoidance of it. Ironic, but the media were trying their best to find anything about her, be it positive or negative. One day she was seen on her bike, the next, she was in a coffee shop, and it kept on going on, overstepping on her privacy as if it was just a meaningless word. 

The lockdown had admittedly played a major part in Jimin’s obsession. Being in their apartment meant quickly running out of activities, and his job as a dance teacher was not really filling his free time (a lot of his classes were also canceled). It was also during that time that (Y/N) truly blew up as an independent artist. Advertisement on YouTube started being around her channel and her music, the recommendations he kept on seeing were about also her… Jimin’s resolve honestly broke easily. It was hard not to be curious about his lost soulmate even though he didn’t feel like he had the right to be hurting. 

Anyway, to come back to his main point, if Jimin felt like he was cheating; it was mostly for her. After all, (Y/N) had no means of letting the curiosity get the best of her, to know what they were doing; to simply see or contact them. He had, at first, not really thought about that. Watching her content seemed a very innocent thing to do in his opinion; billions of people were watching her content, why should he prevent himself from doing so? Yet, Jimin could still remember one of her live she did soon after that interview she had given on this damned radio show where she had revealed who her title track ‘TIME’ was about… She had gone live the next day-Jimin had jumped on his phone because of the notification-and one fan had asked her what would she do if she knew that her ‘ex-soulmates’ (and those words left a very sour taste in Jimin’s mind) were watching her. The question had silenced a previously restless Jimin, replacing his initial excitation with dread while a lump formed itself in his throat. He had not even noticed it; he was so focused on her live and her upcoming answer that Jimin had completely missed the sound of a glass breaking in the apartment. Jimin had been home alone, so even if had indeed heard it, he probably wouldn’t have bothered to check what had happened, thinking that the wind knocked it over or something. Jimin had been so absorbed by what he had been watching that he even got surprised a few hours later when Seokjin came home and yelled at him for breaking something when he had been clearly innocent, engrossed in (Y/N)’s live (not that he could tell his soulmates about that part, but yeah). (Y/N)’s live would always be more important than some random glass breaking again in their apartment. Every object was doomed with Namjoon living here anyway.

On her side of the screen though, (Y/N) had seemed taken aback as she had read the question and had gritted her teeth gently. She had seemed to be pondering about her answer even though a lot of people in her chat were telling her to forget about the question if it made her uncomfortable (a lot were even scolding the person who asked). Yet, sighing softly, she had looked up at the screen: 

“I’d appreciate it if you could refrain from asking questions on this topic. It’s not taboo but I’d rather not remember everything that comes with it. However, to answer this-hopefully-last question about it, I’d ask them to turn off my stream and to stop watching any of my content. It would only be fair after all. I’ve been denied access to their lives six years ago, why would they get a free pass into mine now?” She had not smiled nor had she seemed hurt by her own comment, yet Jimin’s heart had shattered in pieces, unable to press the cancel button. 

Her voice had slowly faded into background noise while her words had been stuck in his head. 

I’d ask them to turn off my stream and to stop watching any of my content. 

How could Jimin ever do that? He realized that he truly should. Namjoon would even agree with you, as ironic as it sounded for Jimin. Namjoon had been one of the most adamant ones about rejecting your bond, after all. Jimin was shaking with bitterness while ‘Moon’ continued her stream peacefully with music. Jimin could only try to gulp his anger down as he remembered her crumbling features on that fateful day. 

“You’re not our soulmates. This name on our arms means nothing to us. You are nothing to us if not a hindrance. Leave us alone.” 

If Jimin could go back in time, he’d prevent Taehyung from spatting those words at her. Yet, he couldn’t do anything. Playing the scene over and over in his mind wouldn’t change anything. It wouldn’t change that she probably hated them. It wouldn’t change the song she made about them. 

And worst of all, it wouldn’t change the fact that Jimin had let himself believe that their choice had been for the best, trying to console and reassure himself, even if he had already known that it was wrong. Tears were pooling up in his eyes even if none escaped as he finally caught a glimpse of her on the stage. Suddenly brought back to reality after his subconscious memory trip, Jimin finally connected back to the world, looking around while he was still frozen on his spot. People were still screaming around him and he wondered if he looked like an intruder. Because, after all, wasn’t that what he exactly was? She said it herself that she didn’t wish for them to watch her; so what was he doing here? 

Jimin couldn’t help but stare; she looked ethereal, dressed like a queen in the middle of a sold-out arena. People were screaming her name as she yelled her infamous ‘hi people’. It was an opening sentence that Jimin heard way too many times in her vlogs and suddenly hearing it in real life seemed surreal. 

Jimin could only watch in awe, entranced with her everything. 

Screw the boys and what they would think once he’d be back from her concert. 

He had been the one to find her six years ago anyway. He had been the one to bring her to their home six years ago, hoping for the boys to change their mind once they’d meet her.

Comments or Ask to be tagged!

Uploaded : 09/04/2021

Taglist: @sweetmoonlight9, @mickmoon, @dreamer95, @loveyoongles, @spicetouched , @jikooksgirl19, @summerevelyn , @springjade , @clevercoley, @prooteus, @sehun096rainbow, @ainsle-e, @ifyouareme, @sunshinee0-0, @fangirl125reader, @sea-nevermind-enthusiast, @atlantis-atlas, @thequeen-kat, @naajix, @skyys-universe , @sichajeon , @yukiehyukie, @amxranthinesworld , @bunzom, @potate-oh, @mawwnsterr​, @ celaenaelentiyavox, @dvoz-writes​ , @honeybaby-94​ ,

[fubukiswifenoimnotjoking]

One Punch Man ship reviews bc I’m bored

WARNING: BIG ONE PUNCH MAN WEBCOMIC AND MANGA SPOILERS

GenoSai: do I even have to say it?? They compliment each other so well and are already besties. They make me so happy and I love their love. Genos literally came into Saitama’s life and brought so much new life and excitement when Saitama thought he’d never get any. Genos gives him love and appreciation all the time and never abandons him. Saitama isn’t connected to his feelings, but he cares about Genos and would do just about anything for him, to keep him safe. Genos constantly teases Saitama and Saitama grumbles and takes it with some banter, Genos is super emotional and Saitama does his best to comfort him, they fucking love shopping together and just hanging out period, they talk about the dumbest shit and somehow they still understand each other with the one brain cell they both share. It takes Genos forever to realize his feelings are deeper and Saitama has to be TOLD by their friends that he should fucking realize his feelings already. Just...I could keep going but I’ll stop! 2718873737839439/10 (let’s not talk about the age gap btw, 6 years isn’t bad and Genos is a legal adult.)

FubuSai: the stereotypical straight ship ppl gravitate to. Eh. I can see it, but at the same time I feel like they don’t completely compliment each other. Are they a hot couple? Duh. But I feel like their pride and communication issues would get in the way. 4/10

TatsuSai: hnghhhh. Someone mentioned this before, can’t remember who, but Saitama literally thinks she’s a child in canon. So that just....makes it gross. Same problems as FubuSai but worse. I’d rather see them as hesitant friends w a weird bond. 0/10

SonSai/SonicSai/idk the ship name: eh, toxic. Cant see them getting past communication issues and pride, again. Plus Sonic wants to kill his ass. Also, I just feel no romantic tension?? Even in fanfic it just falls flat for me. 3/10

MumenSai: a favorite!! Wish I saw it more, it’s very cute. Mumen is so kind and would absolutely be there to help him w self esteem and just help him be a better person period. And Saitama would have a cute little kind guy to tease and open up to. I could maybe see Mumen’s kindness getting on Saitama’s nerves when he’s in a bad mood bc Mumen almost never snaps and Saitama feels shittier, or maybe Mumen being mad at Saitama for being kinda lazy at home while Mumen is working his ass off and he’s like babe I just got home, please stop playing the fucking game and pay attention to me I have a concussion again. Prob too nitpicky on this one, heh, but 8.4/10

Genos x Sonic: wtf? As a crack ship, sure. That’s hilarious. But as a serious ship, 1.3/10 bc I could MAYBE see them bond over their love of my chemical romance or sum.

Anyone x Puri: -128382839287473828739219833468282/10. Fuck Puri.

TatsuKing: eh. Indifferent on this one too. I can see them getting along and Tatsu being the mean but supportive gf in public, but a sweet gf in private. King could be like her calm oasis of video games and sweet blonde shy bf. I sway more towards ace/aro King and queer non binary Tatsu, but this is still good. 6/10

FubuPsy/Fubuki x Psykos/idk: hell yeah!! This series NEEDS more wlw ships, both for me to project onto and to cry over. Prob my fav Fubuki ship, cuz they’ve known each other since they were young and had a tenuous friendship. I didn’t use to ship it until I saw that scene in the wc after the MA arc (u know the one) but here we are. They’re big personalities so any interaction is bound to be chaotic at first, but I really think they’d work. Pride put to the side, Psykos could be someone for Fubuki to finally rely on other than the Blizzard Bunch, someone to confide in, a badass partner to fight monsters with, talk about nothing for hours with, be a super fashionable #girlboss couple with, and someone who would really see her for who she is-especially w Psykos knowledge of her from the past. Hell, Psykos might even know her better than Tatsumaki. Fubuki could be an anchor to her like she currently is in the wc, providing a quiet comfort and making her open up little by little. Would prob be toxic at first bc of the MA arc and their desire for power, but is a very good ship I think. 9/10

Speedal/Sonic x Mumen: an old fav! Sonic would have a hard time not hating Mumen at first bc he’s the picture definition of a hero, sum he hates. But hanging out with him would show him Mumen is a GOOD guy genuinely and he’d be like ohhhh shit I’m in love w this man. Mumen would thoroughly appreciate someone to make him live a little, break some rules and stand up to ppl when they talk over him. He’d DEFINITELY be upset when finding out Sonic is an assassin, but would prob be conflicted bc he knows Sonic is a good person despite that. Would prob make Sonic give up on killing for them to be together. Sucks bc of the assassin thing and bc they haven’t met in canon! So we’re not sure how they’d interact with each other, sigh. 7.4/10

Okamaitachi x Bushidrill: a very underrated ship! To be clear, I headcanon Kama as a trans woman and so does most of the fandom. Anyway, very sweet and already built as a friendship bc of their partnership under Atomic Samurai. I can’t remember who writes fic and makes art of them on tumblr but AAAAA it’s so good! Very sweet. Basically depicted Bushi as a nervous himbo who’s honest about his feelings but scared to say them and Kama as a sweet lady who’s crazy about Bushi. Very sweet. Want more of them!! 6.1/10

OneZon/Zombieman x One Shotter: never even thought of the ship till I saw @megidolan art work! Very wholesome, and from what little we know of Shotter we know he’s a sort of nervous yet strong willed guy, and Zombieman would totally help him calm down bc he’s so chill. I could see them sharing cigarettes and talking shit on heroes while cuddling u know? 7/10 only because I don’t see enough of it but very good concept.

Mumarou/Mumen x Garou: a lot of ppl are gonna hate me for this but....I don’t like it. I’ve tried! I just—idk. I’ve read so many good fics about them that make me like it a bit, but the concept is just eh. I think their relationship is, in most reps, really cliche angsty stuff. I wish I could elaborate I just...gah! Basically, there’s better ships for the both of them imo. Sorry!! 4.3/10

Sonic x Flashy/SonFlash: yes!! Prob my fav Sonic ship. They have soooo much tension, it’s almost worse than Genos’ tension w Saitama. Flashy LITERALLY poisoned Sonic so that he wouldn’t be forced to kill him at the ninja graduation. He cares. They’ll never say it out loud, but they care. They have someone who understands what they went through in each other and someone they’re both so similar to, yet so different from. Sonic is more vocal about his expressions and let’s people know it while Flashy often keeps things to himself, they could really influence the other to be more this or that. I could see a lot of comfort with these two, and not much is needed for relationship development; they already have so much unspoken between them after meeting for the first time in years. Love it. Wish I saw it more! 10/11

KingSai: wonderful! Out of the few ppl Saitama is close to, def my second fav pick for a ship for him. There’s a post saying how Saitama doesn’t cut King off when he’s going on rants about games and stuff bc he’s talking TO Saitama, not at him like Genos tends to do on accident. They’re already great buddies! Saitama could find a shy gamer man who he can talk to about manga and stuff and also a passionate bf who could break out of his shell w Saitama and be himself with no lies. King can have someone to protect him, duh, someone who finally understands his weird sense of humor, and someone to shower him in the love and kindness he deserves when Saitama is in the mood to be all out like that w his affections. Plus he’s Saitama’s anchor and brings him back down when he’s super anxious and depressed and tells him what’s up that he needs to fix without sugarcoating it. Would def have a bunch of inside jokes and go on dates that are just staying inside playing video games all night. Domestic af. 10/10

Fubuki x Mizuki: my first wlw Fubuki ship! Hard to find but very good. Mizuki is this big ball of kindness, energy, and raw power that would make Fubuki go ‘Ohhhhhhh, big pretty lady make brain go brrr.’ I could see Mizuki grounding Fubuki when she’s in over her head, giving her random gifts bc she saw sum and thought of her, doing a marathon run and wildly waving at Fubuki in the crowd, and all around being a dependable woman confident in herself and in love with a mysterious esper. Prob a little shy when it comes to anything physical bc she loves Fubuki so much and is overwhelmed by the realness of being w her. Fubuki gives Mizuki advice on ‘acting like a proper hero’ or whatever and though Mizuki thinks she doesn’t need it, Fubuki still helps her a lot w her career and being taken more seriously by others. Would give Mizuki someone who loves her for who she is and would go wild on her in private when she can be open about her affection, would be someone Mizuki could exercise with and listen intently to Mizuki’s physical knowledge, and would absolutely bandage her when she’s all banged up. Hnghh love this ship. It’s only behind the FubuPsy ship juuuuust a little bc they haven’t met in canon so we can’t be sure about their interactions and stuff. 8.8/10, I love WOMEN

Batarou: how could I go this far without mentioning them?! They have SOOOO much tension in the centichoro fight, like come on. Both snarky assholes who are huge softies one the inside, Badd being the more logical one (still a himbo, tho) and Garou being the more chaotic one. Probably take forever to admit their feelings bc they’re so prideful and stupid <3 flirt through constant wrestling matches and it takes Genos saying ‘they should kiss already, they’re getting on his nerves’ for them to finally realize what’s up. (@rayadraws has a great au where Garou Genos and Badd are a chaotic friend squad and Genos is the only brain of the group, haha. Very good au y’all check it out!) Would constantly pick on each other affectionately and switch into concerned SO when the other is hurt like the big teddy bears they are. Raise Zenko together for sure. Garou would fumble being romantic and Badd would find it both hilarious and cute. 11/12

Zombie mask/Amai x Zombieman:

So. I don’t like Amai Mask and I used to hate him, BUT the webcomic and fic have really helped me calm down on him (he’s still a dick tho), so it’s easier to want to ship him and stuff. Bc of Amai’s anger issues and controlling behavior, I could see this relationship being super toxic and icky—but I think they have some form of understanding that pulls Amai back from being a complete dick, you know? Start off as fuck buddies and slowly form something else from spending companionable time together other than screwing. Zombieman pulls Amai back from his angry fits and soothes him over with his logic. Talk maaaaaad shit about heroes, but only when they’re alone because Zombieman knows Amai will talk loud af about the heroes they’re roasting and Zombie doesn’t wanna stop a fight from happening. Zombieman loves making Amai flustered and has a secret check list in his head of all the things that get Amai red faced. Loves to listen to Amai rant about things for hours and loves to watch his face go through almost cartoon like expressions as he talks. He won’t admit it, but Zombie loves to be spoiled by Amai’s shit tons of cash and often takes rides in Amai’s limos when he wants to smoke and think to himself. Amai has a hard time realizing how his feelings have changed, but gets hit hard with it when he wakes up to Zombie making them breakfast one morning while wearing Amai’s underwear. Amai also loves to spoil Zombie and takes him out to restaurants and buys him cool new weapons on the weekends. @batneko has pretty much gotten me into this ship and I strongly suggest looking at their works! 7.9/10

DemonKnight/Genos x Zero/Drive Knight: I’m pretty sure this used to be a crack ship before the past like 10 manga chapters—and now here we are! Not a fav bc 1. ZERO LEFT GENOS TO SELF DESTRUCT AFTER THEY COMBINED TO FORM THE FUCKING JET HE WAS JUST LIKE lol bye SO LIKE if he left him to die that’s super hard for me to forgive and ship grrr 2. Disregarding the manga’s canon and looking at the wc, while I love the little trip they went on where Zero demonstrated his abilities and helped Genos kill monsters, it’s super sus. He knew alllll of this info on Metal Knight and was super supportive and understanding when Genos said he needed time to think. Like,,,what are his intentions? We know so little about him—is he trying to trick Genos or was he being sincere? THAT STUFF ASIDE, they’re a really fun ship. They’re both huge fucking nerds and can keep up with their talk on robotics for hours, they’re both cyborgs so they understand each other’s pain, and they’re both super cool and angsty. I think they could really settle into a deep bond that can go platonic or romantic, just depends. Genos needs more ppl in his life so hell yeah! Plus, he can really let go with Zero bc they don’t have that teacher/student relationship and Zero, if he’s really a sincere and kind guy like in the wc, can be there for Genos and listen to him. Don’t have much to say on this ship other than @wellthisisembarrassing makes GORGEOUS art of them! 6.3/10

Webuiko/Suiko x Webigaza: YEAH I KNOW THEY HAVENT INTERACTED IN CANON AND WE DONT KNOW MUCH ABOUT THEM BUT HEAR ME OUT. Webigaza—cool af determined cyborg idol who’s surprisingly down to earth when talking with Child Emperor. Suiko—sassy and honest fighter who doesn’t take shit and is very passionate. Suiko would go to talk to Web then immediately freak out bc aaaa she’s way prettier than she thought, she can’t do this! Web would have to gently encourage Suiko to talk and at first is like ‘ah man, must be an adoring fan, ugh I’m so tired. At least she’s hot’ but when Suiko snaps out of her shyness Web is like oh! She’s super cool wtf. Always bump into each other during fights and help each other get fixed up, Suiko using her muscle power to lift Web’s pieces (and give Web a great view of Suiko’s muscles holy SHIT) and Web would patch Suiko up. Not to be stereotypical, but they’re def a masc/femme couple. I love the idea of this ship soooo much and I really hope they interact! 6.6/10 only bc they haven’t met 😭😭😭 look them up on here! There’s some great art of them by a few blogs

Dr. Kuseno x Bang: pretty sure @baldyborg came up with this one! Super cute. Just two old dudes finding a nice friendship in each other, maybe after Bang helps carry Genos to Kuseno’s after a day of fighting. Bang would find Kuseno to be a very cute little nerd man and would be sooo impressed by Kuseno’s mad scientist skills. Kuseno would be super impressed when seeing Bang in action too. They’d prob talk as soon as they meet each other and Genos would be in the background like you guys it’s been an hour, please fix me I’m on the verge of death 🧍🏻Bang would give Kuseno advice on training techniques to teach Genos and advice on making his bodies more martial arts ready or sum, meanwhile Kuseno would give his take on how to be kinder to Garou so that Bang would learn to repair the relationship with a gentleness he’s seemingly lacking (yes I’m talking about the chapter where he and Garou start fighting and Bang is just not doing enough to reach out to Garou, he’s being a callous old man! So yeah I’m still mad about that). Genos and Saitama would prob be out on a date and Saitama would be like oh theres Bang, wonder what he’s doing? Then Kuseno would walk up and kiss Bang and Genos and Sai would be shocked like SIRS 👬 Genos would tell Bang he doesn’t need another adoptive dad and Bang would be like....ok.... I see them retiring in a cottage together and Bang would become a huge softie. Yes I’m actively ignoring chapter 141 of the wc, shut up. 7.6/10

TankTop master x Mumen: they have a nice friendship going on in the manga right now! Just bros supporting bros. Tank is the picture definition of a muscly himbo and Mumen is his cute passionate bf. Also workout buddies af!! Don’t have much to say other than pretty good ship, just not a fav. 5.2/10

To sum it up—

GenoSai: 2718873737839439/10, Batarou: 11/12, SonFlash: 10/11, KingSai: 10/10, FubuPsy: 9/10, Fubuki x Mizuki: 8.8/10, MumenSai: 8.4/10, ZombieMask: 7.9/10, Dr. Kuseno x Bang: 7.6/10, Speedal: 7.4/10, OneZon: 7/10, Webuiko: 6.6/10, DemonKnight: 6.3/10, Okamaitachi x Bushidrill: 6.1/10, TatsuKing: 6/10, TankTop Master x Mumen: 5.2/10, Mumarou: 4.3/10, FubuSai: 4/10, SonSai: 3/10, Genos x Sonic: 1.3/10, TatsuSai: 0/10, anyone x Puri: -1283828319833468282/10

If there’s any ships I left out, it’s bc I don’t know them, don’t wanna talk about them, or just don’t have an opinion strong enough. Also, I know there are some poly ships like Genos x Saitama x Fubuki, but I’ve read only one fic about that (it was pretty good, here’s the link https://archiveofourown.org/works/5406992 ) so I don’t feel like talking about it. Hope no ones offended! All my opinion here :)

[studiobeebo]

aaaand part 2 featuring gojō! thank ya again for the request :) @alibrick1

find part one ft. megumi here!

A - Asking You Out

Satoru Gojō x Fem! Reader

as always if y’all enjoy this please remember that reblogs are greatly appreciated :D

Gojō is convinced that he is god’s gift to humanity and there is nothing that could convince him otherwise.

That being said, even since he was young, there weren’t really many people that tried to convince him otherwise, he was often pandered to either for his power, his looks, or both so while he may not entirely be a narcissist, he certainly doesn’t have any self esteem issues.

Of course along with the general praise he got, as he got older, he began to gain significantly more romantic and/or sexual attention from others and there was hardly a place he could go without feeling eyes on him, hell he could have had a record breaking collection of phone numbers that had been slipped to him over the years if he had actually bothered to keep any of them, yet very few of them ever caught his eye.

If they did, it was more out of a sense of him needing, to put it plainly, a quick fuck for some stress relief or fun and not someone he had much intention of keeping in contact with. He didn’t have time for stuff like that anyways and he figured if he did find someone worth his while, he would make time.

Well, now he was making time.

Fortunately, or maybe unfortunately for you, you had peaked his interest almost from the moment he met you, though he didn’t start really considering the idea of being with you until much more recently. When he did though, he made it very clear.

His flirting was almost constant whenever you were around and actually, he asked you out on quite a few dates because asking was never the problem. He was a simple man, if he wanted something, he would go for it, so he was never nervous or hesitant about his intentions. You, on the other hand, weren’t quite the same.

The handful of times you had turned him down weren’t because you didn’t like him, in fact you did like him, too much for your own good in your eyes. You didn’t misinterpret his intentions or think he was lying, if he only wanted to get into your pants then he would have said so, so you believed he genuinely wanted to get to know you better, but that wasn’t really the problem.

The problem was that you couldn’t grasp Gojō and the reality was that you would never be able to do so. What he saw and knew of the world was so beyond anything you could even begin to comprehend, he saw and understood things that no one else could. He was leagues away from you in that sense and for some reason, you really hated that idea. You would always be beneath him in a sense, your naivety may have even been endearing to him for all you knew, so you put your foot down and told him ‘no’ many times, convinced that it would be better not to risk anything or even try.

He had an idea of your thought process, but surprisingly enough, that was something he didn’t quite know how to navigate. He was the best, after all, and being the best was often lonely. He would never expect you to be able to understand everything he did, in fact he really couldn’t care less about that difference between the two of you. He liked you and you were someone who made his time on earth worth enjoying, it was that simple for him, but he didn’t know where he could begin to convince you of the same, to just let go of inhibitions and trust that he just wanted to enjoy his time with someone he had developed feelings for.

Because of this, for a long time things stayed the same between the two of you, both of you knowing about the others feelings, yet nothing really coming of it. He’d ask you out, you’d say no, then back to business as usual. It got to a point where he was actually getting a bit frustrated because he knew you felt the same for him and yet he couldn’t get past whatever wall you had built up to keep him out. It frustrated him enough that he began complaining to Nanami about it, something he did painfully often much to Nanami’s dismay, but despite being younger than Gojō, he had to admit that he had some solid advice.

He suggested that he stop asking you out on dates, which at first just made Gojō groan in annoyance, but Nanami was quick to explain that what he meant was that he should stop putting the idea in a romantic context and instead make it seem like nothing more than two colleagues hanging out. Gojō thought about it for a second, which was much longer than he usually thought things like this through, before giving a thankful pat on the shoulder and going off on his way.

He didn’t intend to waste time and as far as he knew, you were probably making dinner for the first years, something you usually did on Friday evenings to give them time to relax after a week’s worth of training and missions. So that’s where he went, paying little mind to his students who sat around in the commons area arguing over this or that as they usually did and instead making a beeline for the kitchen.

“Yo, (Y/N).~”

You immediately jumped, your mind having been preoccupied with cutting up some vegetables for curry before turning around to glare at the man who had so kindly interrupted your daydreaming.

“I could have sliced my finger off you know.” “Yeah? You’d really do anything to get my attention, hm?”

You simply rolled your eyes and stifled a laugh, returning your focus to what you were doing, but he couldn’t help but smile as he watched you from his place leaning against the doorframe.

“Can I help you or do you intend to stare all evening?” You questioned, turning your back to gently pour your vegetables into the hot skillet you had waiting on the stovetop.

“Was going to ask you to go out for drinks with me once you’re done coddling my students.”

You stopped for a moment, letting out a sigh as you fiddled around with the now sizzling veggies.

“Are we really going to keep going through this or-“ “Ahh, don’t be like that, I’m not asking you out on a date. Just wanted to hang out, that’s all. As friends.” He replied, raising his hands defensively as you turned to face him with your hands on your hips.

That caused you to raise an eyebrow skeptically as you searched his face, trying to figure out what he was doing. Of course you were just about to nag him about knocking it off with the faux romancing, but you didn’t expect him to actually do so.

“As friends?” You replied flatly.

“What, is that too generous? Fine then, as ‘coworkers-that-are-on-good-terms’.”

You laughed, knowing he knew damn well that wasn’t what you meant and he couldn’t help but smile, it always made him a little giddy when he could coax that cute laughter out of you without you holding back.

“Alright, alright. Yeah, I’ll go with you.” You hummed, turning back around to focus on the task at hand. If he was ready to cut his losses and settle for the weird in between thing that the two of you had going on, you were more than happy to oblige. Oh, if only you knew that there was no way in hell your resilience would last, but that’s a different thought for a later time.

“Great!” He said with a clap of his hands. “Then as a friend I’m obligated to tell you that I have no intention of paying for any of your drinks. Or a cab if you get wasted. Since, yknow, it’s not like we’re together. That would be gross. See ya.~”

With that he was gone, a grin on his face that he wasn’t even going to bother trying to hide as his pride was bolstered almost instantly and his excitement over the simple prospect of getting drinks with you had him feeling like a teenager again. To be honest, you were feeling much the same as you blamed the heat that fanned your cheeks on the steaminess of the kitchen. You couldn’t, however, blame the smile that spread across your face on anything of the sort, but for now you were fine with chalking it up to the fact that you were just excited to be going out for once and definitely not thrilled to spend time with someone who was nothing more than a ‘friend’. Maybe a small part of you knew this would happen one day and your resolve to deny him would falter, but like you had thought before, that was simply another problem for another time.

[cottoncandyjester]

Yandere ocs

So I figured I should show them off..and make stories for them cause this idea won't escape my mind no matter what. Please be gentle on them

All artwork is made on picrew I don't own any of it

As far as they go I'm accepting request, questions for the characters to answer and just questions about them and if you just wanna talk to them you can via ask

Warning: contains both sfw and nsfw headcanons..also these boys are yanderes so they are kinda toxic

➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖

Theodore,21

Gentle giant

I'm not kidding he's 6'3"

Half japanese half american

Is a college student studying to be a doctor

Just the sweetest sweetheart

He comes across as ditzy though

He is the mom of any friend group

Will spoil his darling with affection and love

Best hubby vibes for sure

Works himself to death to provide for you both

Will give you all the headpats

"you're so sweet, a perfect angel"

Got his scar from his childhood

Loves sweets

Likes to make you lunch shaped as animals

Wholesome boy

Will never hurt you

Can be strict about self care

But completely forgets about his own self-care

Works so hard to please you

Makes sure you are never sad or anything

As far as his yandere side

He isn't the type to get violent but is definitely the emotional manipulation type

Will make his darling seem absolutely insane

"sweetie, you shouldn't leave be logical here"

He will make his darling question their own decision making

In his eyes you are too fragile for the outside world

Listen to him, he is only trying to protect you

Doesn't like it when you fight him

Prefers a sweet darling but if you are a hothead he'll love you just as much...though your fighting and struggling will be a challenge

Will drug you if that's what it takes to keep you calm

"Just listen to me, okay? Why would you ever need to think or make your own choices when you have me?"

Definitely has a low sex drive more of a cuddler

But when he wants it he's such a gentleman about it

Will seduce you with a nice meal first before asking to make love

He will never force you to though cause he knows what that feels like

Can spend hours kissing you

Definitely has a kink for purity

If you act super innocent he just can't help but pull you into his lap and love up on you

Doesn't do any feral sex unless you've pushed him past his breaking point.

Is a switch so if you want to top him he'll allow it but he is far more comfortable being the dom

Hikaru, 21

Young and famous model

Full japanese

Comes from a family full of actors

Flamboyant as hell will actually crossdress if he wants to cause fuck gender roles

Monster Dick energy

He comes across as loud and hyper

Seems super sweet and bubbly

Loves to dress up his darling in cute clothes and spoil them when they are well behaved

"look at my adorable baby! Oh you're such a cutie!"

Is a strawberry milk boba drinker(*cough* like me *cough*)

Will take you on shopping dates if you are good

Is the type to flaunt his credit cards

Is actually a degrading king

He isn't the nicest yandere

Will kill an entire army if he has to

Will degrade the absolute hell out of his darling to break your self esteem and self worth

"baby, who else will want you? Honestly darling do you think anyone else actually cares about someone as worthless as you?"

Kinky as fuck

Has a bad temper

Don't piss him off or he will hurt you

"why would you ever need to leave! The only one who cares about you is me! Everyone else will just use you and throw you away!"

Is the type to try and make his darling as clingy as possible

Wants a housewife type darling no matter the gender

Wants to come home to an obedient lover ready to give him a kiss, dinner, and a BJ

Always wants to love up on you and have you in his arms

Will be grouchy if he sees you getting too confident in your looks

He fears that if you have too much self confidence you're going to leave him

"what are you wearing? It's absolutely hideous. Hmm? I bought that? Huh you must have looked cute in it then but right now you kinda look like a pig"

All in all he's a brat

If you try and dom him he will absolutely fight back and it will lead to some feral sex

Axis, 18

100% blind

full japanese

Despite not being able to see he doesn't need a cane or anything

Though he likes it when you offer to hold his hand in public

Works at home as an artist

Is really good at it and had some of his work in museums

Like spicy foods

Dumbass

Like super dumb

"hey, babe is tomato sauce a smoothie? Or maybe it's like jelly..but made out of like tomatoes"

Is basically a puppy

Can't keep his hands off you

Is always kissing and loving you

Praise giving king

Has hightened senses so he definitely remembers your smell and how you walk

Always has to be with you

Never leave

Never

He can't handle it

Is the exact opposite of hikaru

Makes it seem like he will actually die without you

"don't leave! Please! I'm helpless without you! [Y/n]! Don't leave me by myself!"

Will make you quit your job

Will make you move in with him

Acts pathetic when you even mention leaving

Hugs your leg and sobs hard

Has fake fallen many times to get you to think he truly is helpless without you

Will have a screaming tantrum if you walk out the door

Just painful screams and sobs while he claws his own face and body out of absolute insanity

Will keep doing that until you come back to him

"s-see, I'm helpless without you. I'll die without you, I need you so please..stay with me forever"

As far as sex..

He is definitely cries during it

Loves you so much that he is just sobbing while fucking you cause you feel so good and he loves you and-

Is like a dog in heat

Loves just feeling all over your body

Sex with him usually lasts many rounds and involves him humping you to death while he sobs and drools all over you

Will sub for you if you want him to

Will honestly do anything you want as long as you are touching him

Prince, 24

Horny 24/7

Full Korean but moved to Japan shortly after birth

Gained his name out of a magazine..thanks mom and dad

Works as a bartender

Usually a one night stand kind of guy but with you it's different

Loves sloppy kisses and cuddles

Bad boy

Aka he pretends to be a bad boy but is actually a softie who loves dogs and long walks on the beach

Goofy as hell

Loves to make you laugh

He isn't used to having a real relationship so be easy on him

Doesn't like restricting you and lets you do basically anything you want

Of course you belong to him though so no doing crazy things

Like to take you to work with him and gives you free drinks

Definitely has a fan girl club

The word sex escapes his mouth every three seconds

Sex with him is usually amazing

He's knows exactly what he's doing

As long as you love him it's all good

The moment you try to break up with him or distance yourself he loses it

"huh? Huh huh huh huh?! You're kidding yeah?! Stop joking around"

Gets hella paranoid and locks you in his house while pacing around not sure what to do

Will kill for you like absolutely will slaughter someone if they get too close to you

He changes so dramatically it's hard to see him as the same laid back flirty guy

He gets tense and panicked

"you can't leave okay?! Don't even try to ask!"

Will start to calm down if he sees you are accepting your fate

Thinks sex will solve his problems

"you just need to see how much of a man I am yeah?! Then you'll stay right?! Of course you will!"

Spirals out of control

You belong to him in his eyes so you can't ever leave

Clearly has abandonment issues

Will try to do whatever he can to make you happy though

Want it and he will get it

just stay with him and he will be okay

Will try and do whatever he can to make you just as obsessed with him as he is for you

Clearly doesn't have experience in loving someone

He's not used to wanting someone to stay with him so he takes drastic measures to assure you never leave

Even tries getting you pregnant or making you disabled to make you make no choice but to stay

Yuki, 21

Not picking favorites buuut-

Sleepy boy

Oddly enough is super athletic and strong..despite not working out

Half japanese half american

Responds with sounds or very few words

Forked tongue- not given to him by choice

Owns a tattoo and piercing shop

Despite this he doesn't own any tattoos

Loves to put his head on your lap or stomach

Prefers chubbier lovers but honestly will love you regardless

Will sleep the entire day without eating if you let him

Doesn't like speaking but if he has to he will

Hates any sort of loud noise, has sensitive senses

Is pretty lazy but if he has to do it he will.. though he will make random grunts and grumbles the entire time while pouting

More of a cat than a person

Quite moody

Only you're allowed to touch him

Anyone else who does he'll glare at and act cold towards

Likes to hug you from behind and lean against you no matter your height

If you're shorter than him expect him to put his chin on your head

If you are taller he's nuzzling his face in your back and taking in your smell

Can't cook to save his life

Almost burnt the house down cause he fell asleep while cooking

It's fine cause he eats microwave dinners and snacks from the convience store

Low sex drive

The king of sleepy sex

Usually all sex with him is slow,teasing and just filled with sleepy praise and compliments

Unless he's jealous or stressed then it's just rough fucking

Doesn't really act like a yandere at all.. buuut-

Honestly thought you two were dating this whole time

What do you mean you two aren't a couple

No no sweetheart you two were dating the moment he laid eyes on you

If you try to break this fantasy he will shut it down

"we're dating."

Try and say no and he will not be able to handle it

All his delusions keep him from breaking down but if you absolutely say that you two aren't dating he will snap

"stop talking, we are dating. So stop lying"

Doesn't like the thought of kidnapping but he will do it if he must

Will even work from home if he has to

He isn't really a violent type so he won't kill for you but he will absolutely spread lies and use blackmail to get what he wants

All your friends and family think that you eloped with him and never want to see them again

It's better for you both if you just play along with his games

Will definitely tattoo his name on you

He won't ever gag you cause he likes to hear your voice but if you try to scream he honestly won't know what to do

The loudness makes him tear up and he just covers your mouth with your hands begging you to stop

"It hurt. Too Loud. Please."

He just wants to love you he doesn't see what he's doing wrong

He just wants to be with you forever so be good and don't fight him

Is definitely the stalker and stealing clothes type

Will make a nest of all your things that smell like you and he'll just lay in it being in absolute peace

Has scared any and all potential lovers away

Mostly through blackmail

He is easily jealous but pretends not to be

As soon as you walk into the house he is there to smell you to see if you smell different

If you do you are taking a shower with him immediately

If not then yay cool cuddles and kisses

[supercorp-hosie]

My thoughts for Legacies 314:

1) Clarke!!! I like his air of cockiness when he do all this things, and especially when Hope break this air😂😂😂 I think since the show is constantly letting him show up like this, maybe at some point he will eventually turn up or be brought back by my Sowanby team? Oh my Holarke heart! I just love their dynamic like how I’m entertained by Lizdon dynamics🤣🤣

2) I still see that artifact that was broken because of Landon unnecessary move, why? I thought the arc was over? It’s just hilarious when Clark tried so hard to break it, even using explosives, but Landon just break it by throwing it to the monster😂 these brothers, I can’t 😂 (I know it’s because of the presence of Cleo, but still, funny!)

3) Okay, the way Hope just ended up with Wade, doing a drama about undying teenage love, I can’t imagine 🤣🤣 sorry Hope, but Wade can be a good teammate. And Wade has a last name - Rivers! Congrats! Poor Jed, another person that’s appear later than him and got a last name.

4) I just inevitably thought about the other witch Gaby, and relates back to Penelope😆. What if Penelope comes back and starts a war with Finch, that would be fun🤣 I can imagine they somehow would have to work together to protect Josie if something happens to her. They can look past that because they both care for Josie so much. Penelope/Josie/Finch anyone? (I’m secretly shipping Penelope and Finch too in my head, OMG can you imagine the volcano erupting? Enemies to lovers trope??)

5) Finally SBS has a teacher other than Alaric now.

6) I do think that the compelling works. Anyway, considering what’s going to happen, I’m certain that somehow Ethan is going to remember what happened with MG. If he’s going to be a supernatural, I’m rooting for vampire. We are really lacking vampires here.

7) I love Hope’s magical surges♥️ and how other students is taking that like it’s a normal thing around them. Unlike the school tour.

8) I love Hope needn’t to turn around to know that it’s Josie right away♥️ and Josie do catch up things around Hope when she’s not around after she returns.

9) Josie lied to Hope that Lizzie needs help(even though it turns out to be true doesn’t mean she didn’t lie), to help Hope with her mental state. Is this toxic or supportive?? Maybe I should just count it separately?

10) The twins clothes!! Contrast colours, love them!

11) I wonder who drove there....Hope didn’t have a dl in s1 (but two years has past now?) while in 307, Josie apparently walked to Mystic Grill to find Finch(but Lizzie did drive before in s2)....so? I bet it’s Hope...but how the hell did they even have time for driving education?

12) Hope, looking at Josie: like I said, trap. 😂😂but she just doesn’t even get mad at Josie?? Exactly how many times did she let Josie escape like that?? Poor Landon got grilled when he lied😂

13) We don’t worry about dick here🤣🤣🤣🤣

14) I love Finch just confidently stand up for herself, challenging Jed. But no, I don’t like Jed being thrown down by a new wolf again. But having female alpha is appealing too, I love to see that when Finch challenge the old system, then get to improve the abusive hierarchy towards the omega/new wolf in the pack. I was conflicted. I love how they resolved the issue in the end! It’s win-win situation and I love how Jed and Finch bond! Brotp/Sistp! And I love that from Finch perspective, we can see that the wolves let Jed win because they love Jed as much because they know Jed cares about them a lot and just willing to let him win. Not because Jed was oppressing them.

15) Btw, I can’t believe they are using pool/billiards/snooker to decide who becomes the alpha. Really I just don’t like how it works, like leading a pack is a game. But some wolves are born alpha. In real life, a pack’s alpha is always the one to lead hunting, be vigilant of any threat that can harm the pack, they really care for their packs, like Jed. Whilst there’s this beta position in the pack, they recognise the alpha’s leadership, help the alpha keeping others in line, help take care of other members too. Just like what I’d imagined, Finch can fit the beta position very well, for the time being, because of their dynamics. I’m not saying that Finch doesn’t fit as alpha, I think that beta always has the potential to be the alpha of a pack. I just love that now the dynamics in the pack somehow really resembles how the social hierarchy of a pack of wolves in real life.

16) appreciation to Finch being badass at pool/snooker/billiards

17) when Andy just called Hope’s name, why don’t the trio be surprised? It’s not like they even meet before?

18) when MG showed up, I just immediately believe in him. Love that Alaric defended him. I understand Dorian though, he’s always sensitive of rippers as his family was butchered by one. Please don’t blame him too much. MG living in a cave breaks my heart, I just recalled that Hope was homeless when she’s out of Malivore too! Double heart breaks.

19) MG diaries! I’m so proud of him, even Alaric validates his effort and his kind heart! I just rewatched 106 last night to do some fact checking for my hosie interactions 2.0 and twins relationships 1.0. MG has always wanted to be a superhero that saves lives. He has grown so much, from first fighting zombies, to super squad fighting monster, until now, saving normal people lives. I bet now Penelope can’t laugh at him when he first pitched his feelings to Penelope. Good job!

20) I’ve talked about the Finsie sitting together, so I only want to talk about how the relationship between Finsie is healthy for one another (for now, and at least they are not cringy for these two episode).They function independently and Finch doesn’t need to constantly worry about Josie all the time, like what Penelope fear of. Ofc it may also because that the twins have grown healthier.

21) even though Hosie were mind controlled, I just love how they have unspoken understanding between each other😂 Josie doesn’t need to tell Hope to make Lizzie stay with them to have Hope “as sonnum” Lizzie. Then only Josie said “stay with us”.

22) Hizzie hugs, and HOPE ANDREA MIKAELSON 🤣

23) I just love how Lizzie knows what to say to break Josie’s peace, while Josie knows how to break Hope’s peace. I see another spoken parallel from 308 about blindspot😂 Lizzie -> Josie -> Hope.

24) so if the drug sometimes doesn’t work on Lizzie, that means that there are times that Lizzie is really blue! Really at peace! I’m so proud and happy for her! Go Lizzie!

25) “ALL I WANTED FOR YOU IS YOUR HAPPINESS” this is so powerful! My Hosie heart! And really the last painful sentence, is fact. I’m sad for Hope because she’s so into that relationship until she can’t bring herself to do it and only leads to Landon leaving, but it’s also classic Mikaelsons(I feel), never giving up for their love ones. Appreciation to Landon, but still it’s strike three for leaving, please don’t let them be together again. It’s derogatory to Hope’s self-esteem.

26) I love badass Hope so much!! All the bodies she left! If I’m not already gay, she would have bent me into a mosquito coil by that scene, (so bent that I can’t be straight anymore). I love how Josie just let Hope outing her anger on these witches, freeze Andy, waited patiently for Lizzie and Hope to deal with Andy together.

27) I died laughing at these Pandemonium 🤣🤣🤣🤣 the badass trio in panda suit😂😂😂😂 I can’t! They’re so cute! And the height difference🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

28) How Hope tries to focus and dead serious in dealing with the upcoming monster but fails inevitably and miserably at Josie’s antics! All Josie does is laughing cutely at Hope and poking(?) her.

29) I love the trio so much!

30) haven’t watched any Star Wars, so I really thought that the one in the mask was Clarke until the Star Wars theme song started😫 too bad that Landon must have missed it.

31) Lizzie kissing Ethan is the last thing ever to have crossed my mind, so again, what the fuck?(sorry, language)

32) when I first thought about team building, I was thinking about finch + MG + Jed + Kaleb, but pack bonding, I’m satisfied too.

[jenomark]

➔Pairing: Taeyong x Reader ➔Other Members/ Characters: Ten | Johnny  ➔Genre: Smut (w/ plot!) ➔Warnings: Weight is mentioned a lot | Self-esteem & Self-worth issues | Could be triggering for people with weight issues | Fingering | Vaginal sex | Oral (M) ➔Word count: 4,321

➔Summary: For many reasons, you haven’t had sex in a long time. Though you love yourself and your bigger body, you’re always aware that other people might not. After a bad night with someone who didn’t want to be seen in public with you, your best friend Ten offers to set you up with his friend Taeyong. 

*This is very body positive, but it does deal with a lot of negative things that are very close to reality for most people. I tried to portray things as accurately as I can, given my own experiences. I know not everyone’s experience is like mine. It’s a very honest outlook on having a one-night-stand or FWB relationship while being a bigger girl. 

  Mr. No Name. He hit all the right notes and strokes. He was attractive and mildly interesting. More importantly, he said he didn’t care what you looked like, or that it had been awhile since you’d had sex. His clothes flew off mid-air, and you watched them land here and there. Mistakes never landed in one spot, you thought. They peppered your life like seasoning, and even so, life had been tasteless, as of late. You still found yourself craving the morsel that would poison you.

“Can you give me a moment?” you asked.

  Nameless stretched across your bed like a God, his arms draped out in what he must have pretended was satin. IKEA might have felt honored. When he spoke, he told you to hurry back quickly. He said he didn’t have that much time, but you suspected he was the type to fuck and leave. 

  “Okay.” you said.

  You left your bedroom, not really thinking that you’d just left a stranger to rummage through your personal belongings. You went into the bathroom and turned off all the lights. You didn’t want to look at your body stuffed into the lingerie you carefully picked out for the occasion. You didn’t want to know what he saw when he looked at you. You hated that you were that girl, but old habits die hard, or rather, they come back from the dead and pick you apart until you’re just bone.

  Sex. It never mattered much to you. You would consume it when it came, just a notch above feeling grateful that someone would stick themselves inside of you. You didn’t know if it didn’t matter because it didn’t, or because you couldn’t fathom caring so much about someone that didn’t care for you back. It was easier to skip the hurt altogether and go straight for the parts where you ate the ice cream without the excuse.

“Get a grip.” you told yourself in the darkness.

  It had been awhile since you’d had sex because, despite being happy in your own skin, you were still terrified of someone seeing you naked. It was hell to explain how fulfilled you felt as your own person until a man looked at you and diminished your worth by calling you the most unfuckable person in the room. It was so easy for someone to tear down years of hard work and self-reflection for a two second shame fest by a stranger in a passing car, yelling about your weight, or what you should and shouldn’t be eating. And, yes, you hated that you cared what people thought of you, even after all this time.

 Enter: Mr. No Name. You called him that because he gave you an alias to call him by, and the fake name didn’t sit well with you. You wanted to ask him why he didn’t want you to know him, but deep down, you already knew. No one wants to be seen with the fat girl. You knew you were completely right when you asked him for coffee, and he looked as if you���d asked him to march around town with a parade float tied to his leg. Not everyone would look at the straight-sized man and the plus-sized girl and think negatively, but there would always be people who were still looking. Maybe you didn’t want to be seen as much as he didn’t want to be seen. Maybe you were also the problem.

 Still, you were horny and touch starved. After all, all you wanted from him was sex. That was the agreement. And you loathed yourself for briefly wanting more, for looking at him and his desire for you, and thinking that it could extend beyond the bedroom. Silly you for wanting what some people had. You had to forgive your own poor self-esteem and hope that others would, too.

 When you went back to your bedroom, he had passed out on your pillow. He was hugging the other one, his naked body smooth against the fabric. In his sleep, the prospect of him didn’t seem as scary as you thought. You wouldn’t hold it against him. You woke him and told him to put his clothes back on. 

“So what?” he said. “Things don’t work out. It wasn’t meant to be.”

  You looked over at Ten and felt that he was completely missing the point. It was your fault. You were never honest about how you felt because you didn’t want to bring attention to it. He knew your lingering insecurities as well as anyone, but there were things he could never truly understand. Last thing you wanted was for someone to pity you, or worse, think you’re just making it all up in your head. 

“I want sex,” you said. “I think I’m drying up down there.”

“Dating apps.” Ten said, as if his genius idea would save you. 

“Absolutely not.”

“You have to start somewhere.”

“I’m not a fetish,” you said. “Dating apps make me realize why I don’t date in the first place.”

“If you wait for things to happen organically, you might miss out,” Ten said. “Do people still do newspaper ads?”

“Are newspapers even a thing?” you asked.

  You and Ten looked at each other and shrugged. There were so many things you understood about each other. You sat down and wiped sweat from your forehead. You were supposed to be cleaning your apartment. There was something about deep cleaning that soothed you. And Ten was supposed to be helping, but he was sipping his hot tea and playing around on his phone.

“Can I be honest with you?” you asked.

  It felt like now or never. He didn’t need to know everything, just a little bit where you were coming from. There were sirens going off in your head telling you not to say anything to him. Your big mouth couldn’t stop once you were dead set on something.

“Always,” he said, putting his phone down. “Is this about the date?”

You nodded. “It’s about me, too. I’m..I don’t love the body I’m in..sometimes..other times, I love her. She gets me from point A to B. She makes me feel sexy. Forget what makes you healthy and what doesn’t. I don’t listen to anyone else but my doctor. All I know is that I love myself, from my ridiculous long second toe, to my double chin. All of it. And I think that scares people away, and I think I let them scare me away, too.”

“Was he that bad?” he asked.

“He didn’t want to be seen with me. Before we entered my apartment, he asked if anyone knew he was there,” you said. “ I would have cried if I was any other person. You know, I’m not even mad that he was like that. At this point, I expect that more than I don’t. I’m mad that, for one moment in time, I really expected him to be different. He kept saying how much he loved my body, and I didn’t get fetish feelings from him. I thought, “Wow, he could really be the one. He could be the fuck buddy of a lifetime.” Despite fucking it up in so many other ways, he made me feel like a person. I felt wanted.”

“He sounds like a dick.” Ten said.

Slowly, you nodded in agreement. At the same time, you and Ten sipped your drinks, lost in thought. 

Then, as if he remembered something important, Ten tilted his head and said, “I know a man.”

“That’s great,” you said, dryly. “I know a lot of men, too.”

‘“No,” he said, slapping the table. “I have a friend.”

  You raised your eyebrows. You thought about being sarcastic, but Ten wasn’t paying attention. It was no fun if he didn’t play back. He was excited by his own thought process, the wheels in his head spinning. 

“You just want sex!” he said.

“Correct.”

“With someone who will be seen with you in public,” he continued. “So they don’t kill your lady boner. I know a friend who will do that for you.”

“No.” you said, flatly.

“Why not?”

“I’m not a charity case,” you said. “I don’t want a man to fuck me just because he feels bad.”

“This guy isn’t like that.”

  You wanted to say that all guys were like that, but that way of thinking didn’t help anyone. It wasn’t true. You knew there were men out there who were what you wanted, you just didn’t know why they were halfway around the world. You thought of Ten’s friends, which were also your friends, by default.

“Which friend?” you asked. “All of them are with someone. Besides, I wouldn’t have sex with any of them. It would be too weird.”

“You don’t know him.”

“But I know all of your friends.”

“Not this one,” Ten said. “He’s in my art class. You’ll love him. Come to Saturday’s class. I’ll introduce you.”

  They say fat girls shouldn’t wear overalls. You looked at your tummy in the reflection of a car and pressed your hands against it. Your thighs looked like they were bulging in the little shorts. You shook your head to rid yourself of the thought demons that tried to make you think you were anything less than sexy. Whenever it came to the opinion of men, unfortunately, they liked to show up and rear their ugly heads. You looked adorable in your overalls, and you’d look smokin’ hot out of them.

 You weren’t good at art, so you didn’t know how to dress up, or how to behave. You showed up and stood by a bunch of people smoking cigarettes and gossiping. You thought the atmosphere would be more like the movies, and you thanked yourself you didn’t show up in some ridiculous scarf and a beret. 

“You’re earlier than I am,” Ten said, hugging you from behind. “That’s not something I can get used to. You look like an art ho.”

“What is an art ho?” you asked.

  Self-consciously, your eyes started going towards your reflection. Ten took your arm and led you inside, past the smokers, and right through a door into a cool and brightly lit studio. Ten came every week, and you could see why. The place had a cheery vibe, and everyone around you was smiling and sitting down at an easel. There was food in the corner of the room and all of these prints on the wall that you could look at for hours.

“So,” you said, sitting down. “We just...paint things?”

“Yes, “Ten said. “We get a theme for the day. No rules. No stress or worries. It doesn’t matter what it looks like. All that matters is that you have fun.”

“That’s easy for you to say, you’re a great artist.” 

Ten blushed. “I try my best.”

  Taking your place and watching everyone slowly trickle into the class, you noticed how attractive everyone was. You didn’t know what Ten’s friend looked like. You didn’t even know his name. You imagined him in your head, building him up like a clay figure. He had eyes and a nose, he was tall and resembled a beautiful marble statue. You looked around the room and realized there were mostly couples, their eyes finding each other wherever they went. Your eyes kept swimming around the room, too, even as the class began. And that’s when you saw him.

“Whoa.” you said underneath your breath.

  He was beautiful. He was tall, like you imagined. So much of his broad shouldered body peeked out from behind his easel. He had black hair, which he swept back from his forehead. He had a smile permanently fixed to his face, and the warmest brown eyes you had ever seen. You physically gulped before nudging Ten.

“Who is that?” you asked. 

Ten smirked. “That’s Johnny. All the girls love him.”

  You were all the girls. You couldn’t stop staring at him. You wondered if painting him would be too creepy. As class began, you tried focusing on the project at hand, but your eyes kept going back to him.

“I need to get laid, “ you whispered. “I need to get laid so badly.”

“Will you relax,” Ten whispered back. “I don’t need you climaxing in front of my class. I think that’s frowned upon.”

  You forgot about Johnny as best as you could and painted the sexiest fruit bowl of your life. You were proud, tired, and most of all, itching at the chance to talk to Johnny. You were thankful for Ten in that moment, so thankful that you could have kissed him. But, your attention was not on Ten. You were thinking about Johnny’s big body slamming you down onto your bed and fucking the still life out of you.

“I want you to meet him now.” Ten said. 

  You stood fast, your knee knocking into the easel. Several people looked your way because of the loud noise. You waved and tried to shake off the embarrassment. Johnny stood too, his face a model of perfection. He was so happy that it was infectious.

“He’s a little too attractive.” you said. 

“Johnny?” Ten asked. “I guess so.”

  Ten ushered you forward. As you were getting ready to extend your hand out to Johnny, Ten kept pushing until you were in front of the easel at the end. A man stood up and wiped his hands on his jeans.

“Hello, “ he said. “I’m Taeyong.”

  You were speechless. You cursed yourself for automatically thinking it was Johnny. The look on your face must have said it all, because Ten needed to cover for you. He told Taeyong your name after fixing you with the longest side-eye in human history.

“Taeyong,” you said. “Right. I’m sorry. I’m just...so..in love with your painting.”

  You looked at his painting. It was chaotic. The fruit were different colors and they were all smashed, the seeds ripped out, and the juices flowing. He had more paint on his hands and arms than what was on the canvas. 

“This?” he asked. “Thank you. Painting gives me energy.”

  Ten put his hand on your shoulder and said he was going to clean up his station. You couldn’t recover from the initial embarrassment, so you offered to go help him.

“It’s okay if you don’t like what you see,” Taeyong said. “I understand.”

  Ten gave you one last “I will fuck you up if you ruin this for yourself” glance before disappearing. Everything in you felt apologetic towards Taeyong. It wasn’t even about him. 

“It’s not you.” you said.

Taeyong laughed. “That’s usually how the saying goes.”

“No!” you said. “Really, it’s not you. You’re wonderful.”

  And you meant it. Though he was different from Johnny and different from what you expected, Taeyong was very handsome. In your mind, you didn’t judge the way he looked because you didn’t want him to do the same to you. You knew how it felt too well, which is why it hurt you that he was feeling that way.

“Can I be honest?” you said. “I think I fucked this up. Ten didn’t tell me anything about you, and I thought you were someone else.”

“Ahh,” Taeyong said. “Imagine the disappointment.”

  You could feel yourself growing dizzy.  You took a seat in the chair next to Taeyong. When you stood, you were a little taller than him. When you sat, your body felt massive in front of his smaller frame. You looked into his face, into his eyes which didn’t look as upset as they should have been.

“I’m an idiot,” you said. “All these years wanting people to censor themselves for me, and I end up doing it to someone else. Can we start over?”

Taeyong sat. He placed his hands between his thighs and nodded. The way he moved was so cute that you couldn’t help but smile.

“Taeyong,” you said. “Would you like to come home with me?”

“Y-e-eesss.” he said, drawing the world out cutely.

  You found yourself back in your bedroom, in a role that seemed too familiar. You were starting to feel scared that Taeyong only came back because of some fat fetish. He had been seen with you in public, had even reached for your hand on the walk back to your apartment, but fear had a way of resurfacing in intimate spaces. 

“This is nice,” Taeyong said, gesturing up at the painting above your bed. “I draw on my walls, but this is much more sophisticated.”

  You couldn’t seem to talk. Your mouth was dry. You asked him if he wanted a drink so that you could have one to loosen up. He said he didn’t drink much because his neck got all splotchy and red. You skipped the drink and disappeared into the bathroom, like a coward.

“We’re here again,” you said to yourself. “Just fuck him al-”

  There was a knock at the bathroom door. You turned on the lights and opened it slowly to see Taeyong standing there. 

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“I’m good.”

“It’s just that,” he said. “You’re talking to yourself. I talk to myself sometimes, too. Do you want to do this another time?”

  He looked so sweet that something in you just toppled over the edge. You didn’t say no. You didn’t say yes. You crossed the threshold and kissed him, grabbing the back of his head. The kiss itself was so soft and tame that you kept trying to make it more aggressive. Taeyong released his lips from yours and rubbed his mouth. He laughed nervously and looked down at the floor. His lips were red and swollen, his eyes more lustful than before when he finally looked back up at you. He stepped forward and kissed you, pressing his body up against yours. Normally, feeling someone's tummy against yours would make you retreat, but you were so lost in the moment that you didn’t notice. 

“Bedroom?” Taeyong asked.

“Yes.”

  It was Taeyong who guided you to your own bedroom. Your eyes went straight to the painting above your bed. There was a new appreciation for it. When you looked back to Taeyong, he was looking at you like he was looking at art: admiring, questioning.

“You’re nervous,” he asked. “Why?”

“It’s been a long time since I’ve been with someone.” you said.

  You and Taeyong sat on the edge of your bed. You were itching to kiss him, but you felt that the questions on the tip of his tongue would get in the way.

“Being nervous is okay,” he said. “But I want you to know that I’ll take my time and make it enjoyable for you.”

  He leaned in to kiss you, his hand pushing your hair out of the way so that he could rest it on your cheek. Your hand was on his thigh. Things started escalating, like you were both trying to one-up the other. Taeyong’s hand was on your breast, trying to figure out the machinations of the overalls. You were rubbing his leg a little too much. He had to ask you to stop or he'd explode. You laid back on the bed and let him hover above your body. Your thighs felt extra jiggly when his hands caressed you. You felt yourself clamming up, and Taeyong sensed it and stopped.

“I’m not entirely comfortable with my body sometimes.” you admitted. 

“Do you want to stop?” Taeyong asked. “We can watch movies or play board games?”

“Board games?” you asked.

He shrugged. “I like games.”

 You wanted to laugh. Taeyong was much different from Mr. No Name. Being with him felt less like a performance. It was like you were being intimate with a friend, only intimacy looked a lot like awkwardness. 

“I don’t want to stop,” you said. “Do you?”

“No.” Taeyong said.

  He sloped down to kiss you. His hand continued moving up your thigh and into your shorts. Having someone's fingers inside of you after not having anything for so long felt like an epiphany. You moaned and stopped kissing Taeyong. Not because you wanted to stop exploring his mouth, but because you couldn’t contain your excitement. You opened your legs and let him finger you, his skinny and long fingers jerking in and out of you with zeal. 

“Don’t stop,” you moaned. “Don’t stop.”

  You came around his fingers quickly, your hand reaching out to grab his wrist. He delicately kissed the side of your neck, double chin and all. You took a minute to catch your breath, but Taeyong was all over you. He unhooked your overalls. He lifted up your shirt to reveal your stomach. Checking to see if it was okay with you first, he kissed your soft flesh. You moved further up the bed so that his face was down below. He helped you remove the outfit, and you finished it off, sitting up on your bed naked and fighting the urge to cover yourself.

“Don’t tell me I’m beautiful,” you said. “Don’t say anything at all about my body. Tell me about yours.”

  Taeyong smiled in understanding. He yanked his shirt over his head and pointed at his scar. The pink jagged line was shiny. You yearned to place your lips against it. 

“A scar,” he said. He brought his hands up his body, his ribs noticeable. Seductively, he brought his hand back down until his fingers caught on his zipper. It didn’t take much for Taeyong’s baggy pants to fall to the ground. He slipped off his briefs to reveal his soft cock. “Can I show you my body?”

“Yes.”

  He was going to come to you, but you scooted to the edge of the bed. You didn’t love the way your body looked while you were sitting, but your attention was saved by Taeyong’s cock. You took over, working him in your hands, and watching as he came to life. You leaned down to suck him, enjoying how he whimpered from the warmth of your mouth. You stopped momentarily to kiss his scar before you were back at it, drawing him closer and closer. Before he could spill, you let him go and climbed back onto the bed on all fours, your ass facing him. The position was easiest for you. You didn’t have to look at men when they fucked you, your fat moving rabidly, and your mind wondering how distracted they were by your body. You waited for him to come to you and thrust his cock into you from behind, but Taeyong didn’t. 

“I want you on top,” he said. “I want to see you.”

  You watched Taeyong lay on your bed, his body just below the painting. He was relaxing in a bunch of pillows, and he was smiling. If you went on top of him, his small frame seemed like it would disappear underneath you. The thought of your thick thighs rubbing against him made you queasy. Yet, there was something so sexy about him wanting you that carried you forward. It was an interesting situation. 

“Are you sure?” you asked.

Taeyong lifted his arms behind his head. “Ride me.”

  You gripped his thighs and climbed on top of him. You were hyper aware of your body touching his. You lifted your ass up and tried to situate yourself. As you did, Taeyong’s hands were all over you. He poked and prodded you, smoothing his fingers over your skin and exploring everything there was to see and not see. At first, you froze in place. You had never had anyone feel your body like that, like a painter painting a canvas. You could feel his brush strokes as you closed your eyes, his fingers moving over your nipples, and the way he touched you when he went between your legs. 

  Lowering yourself down onto his cock, you had to slowly let him in. Every inch was felt, moving inside of you so intensely that every time you moved back up just a little, you wanted to lurch forward in pleasure. Taeyong held your waist and kept his hands there as you rocked over him slowly. 

“I forgot how good this felt.” you said.

  You hadn’t ridden someone since university. It was the second time ever, and the first time with someone you could actually see yourself liking. You tried pushing the L-word thoughts out of your head. You and Taeyong were only having sex, not dating. 

“Faster.” Taeyong said, the words coming out of his mouth surprising him.

  You rode him faster, trying not to think too hard about the way your body bounced, or how it looked. He touched you as you fucked him, his hands getting increasingly more desperate. The way he looked up at you made you feel bold. You pressed down on his chest and started fucking yourself on his cock with a new pace, your body slamming down on him hard. The sounds of your bodies slapping together was loud, and at one point, you slowed down because you were scared you were hurting him.

“No,” he moaned. “Keep going.”

  You fucked him until you came, throwing your head back and riding the wave. Taeyong watched you with awe, even when you didn’t stop moving. You wanted him to come, wanted to finish him off the way he deserved.

“Give it to me,” you said, fucking him. “I want it, Taeyong. Come for me.”

  You pushed your breasts against his chest and kissed him. The moan that broke free from his lips was loud and whiny. You kissed his neck and kept taking his cock until he came, his body stiffening before relaxing. You let him stay inside of you long after he had come, his fingertips drawing love hearts on your skin.

“I was thinking,” Taeyong said. “Tomorrow we should get that drink.”

[natblda]

tw ;; rp abuse

reivcn

@alaskaslayer 

 @kennedybtvs 

 @tylerlockwoof 

 @sunnydalescoobies

i wasn’t going to do this. but i’m doing this. the next time you tell someone i was in love with you and talk shit about me or my muses in any fandom...check yourself. because i still have EVERY SINGLE MESSAGE, EVERY CHAT, EVERY GODDAMN THING BACKED UP AND DOZENS UPON DOZENS OF PEOPLE WHO HAVE LEARNED STRAIGHT FROM YOU HOW TOXIC AND ABUSIVE YOU ARE...ALL ON THEIR OWN WITHOUT THE HELP FROM ME I ASSURE YOU. YOU ARE INTERACTING WITH PEOPLE YOU TALKED SHIT ABOUT, I have all of that documented too, and you are interacting with them under a different alias. the number of messages i have received unprompted from people coming to me about the LIES YOU SPEW OUT, IS A MORE ABSURD NUMBER THAN YOU ARE A PERSON. 

YOU are the reason you have NOTHING but your delusions, and NOTHING is keeping me from putting every single message i have on a google document because you are literally a predator to this community. i wasn’t going to do this, i really wasn’t. because the fact of the matter is...for someone who’s so ‘in love with you right’....you mean nothing to me. you DID THAT. not only did you abuse and gaslight me for YEARS, you abused my muse, you slut shamed her for having other verses, you called her a cheater for seeing other people, you threw in my face and her face nearly every goddamn time that luna interacted with anyone else ...that I QUOTE “RAVEN DOESN’T NEED OTHER VERSES JUST LUNA, WHY DOES LUNA NEED MORE THAN RAVEN, WHY IS RAVEN NOT ENOUGH, LUNA IS ENOUGH FOR RAVEN. WHERE IS RAVEN IN THIS REPLY? TELL THE OTHER MUSE RAVEN IS THERE SO THAT THEY KNOW LUNA IS TAKEN.” 

like NO. how many times i said...get raven out there, let her explore, let her meet other people? it’s GOOD FOR HER? IT’S GREAT FOR MUSES? and you flipped at ME with that same gaslighting again. RAVEN ONLY WANTS LUNA. IT’S LUNA WHO CLEARLY NEEDS MORE. like honestly. the emotional abuse that you put me through and my muse through, to the point where i almost quit writing her? to the point where luna couldn’t even look at your raven without seeing YOUR NASTY BEHAVIOR BEHIND HER VOICE. and you would say...i cant interact with others bc no one in this fandom likes my raven, they all blocked me. BECAUSE OF YOU. BECAUSE OF YOUR SHIT, AND DON’T WORRY, I HAVE YOUR MESSAGES SAYING THAT IT WAS YOUR FAULT AS A MEANS TO MAKE ME GO ‘awe poor you, you’re just misunderstood. they just know you like i do’. but the truth is? THEY DON’T KNOW YOU THE WAY I DO AND THE WAY EVERY PERSON WHO BLOCKED YOU DOES. POOR ANYONE WHO COMES INTO CONTACT WITH YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE A PREDATOR AND A LEECH IN THE RPC.

I DO NOT BELIEVE IN CALL OUT POSTS. BUT I DO BELIEVE IN SAYING MY PIECE WHEN I HAVE BEEN ISOLATED AND SUBJECTED TO YOU FOR YEARS UPON YEARS. and you have the audacity to talk shit about me saying that I WAS THE ONE WHO DID ALL THE ABOVE MENTIONED THINGS TO YOU? yeah that sounds familiar, bc everyone in the world abuses you, you are a victim of everything. literally everything. the number of times i heard you say “not to be racist but...” and then proceeded to spit something racist out of your white mouth.  the number of times you were transphobic, hell...i don’t have to mention that, most people saw that on the dash because you outed yourself with ‘in 2012 people like me could use any fc we wanted with any gender orientation and it was fine so i can still do that!” like..no. i let slide so much that i should NEVER HAVE ALLOWED. I BIT MY TONGUE BC I THOUGHT...maybe she just...needs to be educated on these things, maybe she doesn’t know what she’s saying, maybe it’s just not registering how to be an honest and genuine person. like i get it, people bicker, they have misunderstandings, but at least have the goddamn audacity to be straight forward with it. 

i learned today from a few people...that you accused ME of doing these things instantly upon meeting these people, not even knowing them, and you so readily spilled lies about me. and i figured out why...because you don’t have control of me anymore, you don’t control my muse anymore, because i cut the strings and i cut you out and i kept moving forward, i kept going on, happy...without you. interacting with raven’s who ARE RAVEN, NOT YOU and your narrative behind her face and name. 

the hours i devoted to you, the hours, days, weeks, months, stating over and over again how I WAS YOUR FRIEND AND NOTHING MORE THAN THAT, AND YOU TRIED COUNTLESS TIMES TO BAIT ME. let’s see if you remember this. 

“i told my friends you’re my girlfriend i hope that’s okay.” 

and me...going, i mean we’re friends, i am not in the country, but assuming it was an issue with your self-esteem i said...i guess that’s fine but we’re friends, we probably hang out as much as gfs do but we ARE NOT. and then you turned around with...now you’re giving me mixed signals are we girlfriends? LIKE YOU LIED TO YOUR FRIENDS, YOU STRAIGHT UP KNOW WE WEREN’T , hence the ‘i told my friends you’re my girlfriends’ like you KNEW WE WEREN’T, SO YOU ALREADY KNEW THE GODDAMN ANSWER WAS NO, BUT YOUR DELUSIONS LITERALLY DONT GET IT AND SO YOU ATTEMPT TO BAIT. i’m sorry that after 4+ years sitting on skype every day i can not imagine being with someone i watched eat more out of their nose than of actual food. that was just the tip of the iceberg because then we’re going right back into all of the toxic nightmare you put me through, all the shaming you put luna through., and that carried into threads most of the time, luna having to look at raven and feel like a cheater. like you know what, like i said i wasn’t going to do this, but having just met some amazing rpers i am so blessed to be able to write with and hearing the kind of lies you spilled about me and this whole situation.

i’m going to go to the time when luna was single verse, single shipped with your raven, and when she would interact with FRIENDS, she was slapped for it, i was slapped for it. the time when you tried to pimp raven out in the IMs of one of our mutuals and then that mutual came to me and went...look, im not comfortable, my muse isn’t interested, i’m trying to respect the fact that you guys are single shipped but basically rowan is trying to get my muse to have sex with her. and i went...news to me, i thought we were single shipped, but from this day on...it’s best that we are not. because you know what, considering how many times luna had already been shamed for having friends at that point, to find out that you were ACTUALLY DOING what you were shaming luna for doing, when luna wasn’t doing it? pissed me off and completely broke my rp partner trust in you. and you were only pissed because you got caught, bc someone else was a genuine and respectful person enough to tell me about it. after all the shaming you threw at luna and it was YOU breaking the single ship status. NOT ME. and from that day forth i guess you know what they say...faithlessness breeds a guilty conscience.

i DO NOT HAVE TO PROTECT YOU. YOU DO NOT DESERVE PROTECTION FROM ME. A PREDATOR DOES NOT GET TO SIT BY AND SAY...I’M BEING BULLIED. and i know that’s what you’re going to say, i know because you’re a victim of everything and you depend on my silence and me protecting you bc i cared about the muses. BUT I DO NOT HAVE TO PROTECT YOU. YOU DO NOT DESERVE MY SILENCE. I WILL NOT BE SILENT TO PROTECT YOU. I WILL PROTECT MYSELF AND MY FRIENDS AND EVERYONE WHO HAS EVER BEEN SUBJECTED TO YOU, EVERYONE WHO WILL EVER HAVE THE MISFORTUNE OF BEING SUBJECTED TO YOU, AND WHILE I DO THAT, I WILL BE MAKING THAT GOOGLE DOC.  

SO...ROWAN, HIDING UNDER THE ALIAS OF CASS, [ an alias that she used in the past to make it seem like she had backup during an episode of her toxic behavior. yes. she created the alias and a clarke blog and conversed back and forth with herself on the dash so that it looked like she had someone backing her up when she was being passive aggressive on the dash ] she will likely find a dozen other alias to go by. i haven’t had to change mine, i haven’t had to hide, or move blogs, or switch anything just to get people to NOT KNOW WHO I AM, to trick people into interacting with me so that they think i’m someone else. she relied on my silence, she depended on me caring about the ship too much to speak up and defend myself or others, but i am done being silent.