#*sighs and adds to list of songs for edits*

[scarlet-passion]

the way this fits all LIs, there's no way it doesn't. oh, i'm soft. gdi.

[saeist]

“set me up with rin”

you slammed your hands against the hard wood table. scaring the shit out of shidou and aiku

“jesus fuck!” shidou puts a hand on his chest

“feisty. i like it!” aiku reacts, doing a little finger gun

“you didn’t say the magic word” sae murmurs, completely unbothered by your whole ruckus. you could say he’s used to it at this point

your eyes widened hearing sae’s response. did he finally agree to help you out?

“pretty please” you bat your eyelashes at your best friend, who wasn’t even looking at you by the way. he was currently reading something off what seems to be the latest edition of a sports magazine

sae silently flips the magazine onto the next page before looking at you dead in the eye. you watch his mouth open, ready to hear a certain sentence you’ve been wanting to hear for the past few weeks

“no.” he says flatly before turning his attention back to the magazine

both shidou and aiku break into boisterous laughter. only to be silenced by the librarian

“shh!” the librarian shushes. “one more ruckus from your table and i’m kicking the four of you out!” she whisper-yells, typing away on her computer

you dramatically slide into the seat next to sae, leaning on his shoulder as you reach over to tug his hand

“sae c’mon! you know i like him! so do me a favor as your favorite friend and set me up with your cute little brother” you cried out, tugging on his hand again and again

sae clicks his tongue in annoyance and snatches his hand back

“that’s exactly why i won’t set you up with him” sae grimaces

“and that is?!”

“that you like my little brother” sae says casually. closing the damned magazine and tossing it to shidou who was busy laughing at something on his phone with aiku

“that’s barely a reason” you point out, “would it kill you to help your friend that's desperate for a lover?" you add, dramatically falling limp onto his lap

sae pinches the bridge of his nose in sheer annoyance. he's heard of this dramatic monologue of yours for a hot minute. ever since he introduced you to his brother, you have not shut up about him since.

it was a mistake on sae's end. he shouldn't have brought you, along with shidou and aiku along for dinner back at his place but it was his mom who pestered him into bringing you guys over for dinner as his mother wanted to meet who sae's friends at college were

"i didn't know y/n-chan was into younger men" shidou quips, poking your nose as you glared daggers at his face

"rin is just like a year younger than sae, let alone me" you retort

"point still stands, y/n-chan" aiku chimes in a sing-song voice, "why do you like him anyway and not the hotter, better and wiser older brother here?" he continues

you dreamily sigh, still on sae's lap as you think about rin

"well first of all, he's a cutie. second, he gives me tsundere vibes but then again, his brother right here is the same kind so i'm pretty sure it runs in the family and... i guess that's about it" you list off the nice things you can say about rin from the top of your head, "no offense sae, i think you're hot and all but just not my type" you poke your tongue at your best friend who only flicks your forehead in retaliation

"that's it?" shidou asks, feeling a little anti climactic about the whole thing. to him it sounded like you had a good reasons on why you were crushing hard on the other itoshi

"oh! and the fact that he's 6'1" you clasp your hands together, "and also that he's trying so hard to be the star player at our local college team and i find it really cute" you gush

"he obviously doesn't have a choice but to try and beat his hotter and better older brother. right, rin?" sae nudges someone beside him.

wait a second, did he just call out to rin?

you quickly scramble off sae's lap, bumping your head against the table in the process

both aiku and shidou let out an "oof, that's gotta hurt" making you more embarrassed than you already are. you glared at them for a brief second before turning your head to the side to see rin looking all confused and to be honest, a little weirded out

"hey rin. what brings you here?" you sweetly wave at the younger itoshi in front of you.

from the corner of your eye, you can see sae rolling his eyes and mumbling "dumbass" under his breath. before you can smack sae, rin speaks up

"my brother" rin nods his head towards sae who only gives him a look of annoyance before motioning him to spit out whatever he came for

"coach says there's been a change of plans regarding the away games and wants to have a team meeting later at the field" rin reports all stoic

sae huffs, "you couldn't just texted me this information or?"

"you blocked my number, remember?" rin rolls his eyes, gripping on his sling bag.

you let out a little gasp and smacked sae on his shoulder upon hearing the news that your best friend has blocked his little brother's number.

"sae! why would you block your brother?!" you nag, wagging your finger in front of sae's face. sae swats your hand away before he attempts to grab rin for pushing him under the bus like that when you're around

"anyway, that's all. also, mom wants you home for dinner. bye guys, bye y/n" rin shyly waves at you before he trudges away out of the library, away from his brother's impending wrath

as rin disappears from sight, suddenly an idea pops into your mind. it's just a simple favor. the next time you see him, you'll ask rin for his help, and maybe, just maybe, it will lead to something more.

"that little runt.. he's gonna get it from me" sae hisses, pulling out his phone to probably unblock rin now that you know that he got his brother blocked. sae looks over at your face in case you were about to yell his ear off but instead he was greeted with a little smile on your face

oh no. he knows that devious smile of yours

"my dearest beloved sae.. put in a good word for me to rin, would ya?" you wink

[gammasnippets]

[CHANNEL_9] fromis_9 '채널나인' EP58. Spotlighting🎬 Part.1

fromis_9 Lee Saerom, Song Hayoung, Jang Gyuri, Park Jiwon, Roh Jisun, Lee Seoyeon, Lee Chaeyoung, Lee Nagyung, Baek Jiheon

2,824 words (Unedited)

It’s the year 2027.

With the immense attention social media content garners these days, K-pop groups must put out a lot of various kinds of content for their fans to stay in their boat. And as of late, some artists are even resorting to a more risqué and sexual form of media just to stay in the game. The morality and ethics of it is something that shouldn’t be scoffed at, as it has sparked controversy around the industry. Others are in favor of it, while some are against it.

But as time goes by, this venture becomes harder and harder to resist as more and more fans are eating all forms of content… Until their perception of it all becomes grayed out.

Being one of the industry's most revered groups, the members of fromis_9 are just some of the artists who started partaking in more provocative and sensual concepts for their content to provide fans with a more sensual form of fanservice. Their agency has always been reluctant to do so, as they had their reputation to keep up. But with many groups competing for the top spot, these nine girls have to “exploit” what assets they have to push themselves higher in the industry.

As the group delved deeper into this sensual rabbit hole, they made a variety of content that fans will surely go crazy about. From music videos that show their bodies in tight, revealing clothes, and a bunch of photoshoots that would make you blush with the sheer sensuality of the outfits and poses that they had, fromis_9 has gone to the world that only the most daring of groups would dare venture in. And being a part of a group of editors tasked to produce content like this, you often find yourself getting a lot of material to jerk off to from these girls.

To commemorate the group’s 10th anniversary, the company has planned a series of special videos featuring the girls for their ever-loyal fans. And after several passes and editing by the other editors, the videos finally came in your email, waiting for a final review to be conducted by no other than you. The pressure is high, as this could very well be the most successful video project yet. As the last editor to get the content, it's all up to you to give it the final touches and make these videos—12 in total— as flawless as possible. With tissues and lotion just within arm's reach, you start reviewing the footage.

You press play on the first video on the list and the unforgettable intro for their variety series “Channel_9” starts.

The episode begins as the camera shows a large studio complex, almost like the ones they have in other countries where they create live-action films and such, panning through the many large structures and beautiful gardenscapes scattered around the area. It then transitions to a drone shot, where the girls can be seen walking through the complex. They pass by large water fountains and flower patches, all the while showing how nice and beautiful the place is. All of them gasped in awe at the sight of the complex.

“This place looks like a big hotel. They could be hiding the rides in those buildings,” says Hayoung.

Seoyeon chuckles. “You mean a theme park?”

“Ah… Right,” she answers.

You can hear all the girls laughing at that short yet funny conversation.

“Unnie,” says Chaeyoung. “We just visited one recently and you still can’t forget about it.”

“That place was fun, though,” she retorts.

“Yeah. You’re right,” Saerom and Chaeyoung answer, almost in unison.

“Wish we can return to that place,” Jiheon tells everyone.

"Maybe the crew's planning to take us to a theme park," Jiwon tells the group as she looks at the cameraman with a smug look on her face.

Everyone giggles at that.

Gyuri then sighs. "There she goes again."

"Watch it get jinxed," Nagyung adds.

Seoyeon laughs out loud at that. "Her plans never work out."

"Ya!" Jiwon protests, "It'll work out this time. Just watch!"

She looks back at the camera again, nodding as if persuading them to agree with her.

However… She got silence for an answer.

Jiwon playfully sulks, making everyone laugh.

They continue to walk through the complex until they've reached the center of a huge courtyard, where the rest of the filming crew is waiting for them. As they are all getting into their respective positions, you see the members getting excited to start shooting the first episode.

"This will be exciting, hmmm?" Hayoung asks them, looking eager.

"I sure hope so," Jisun replies, smiling.

"Oh, me too," says Saerom.

One of the staff members then began to speak up.

"Hello, everyone," the staff member began, greeting them.

The group greeted her back in unison, bowing their heads.

"Welcome to the country's biggest filming facility," the staff member continued.

"Oh! So this is what it is!" Jiheon gasps.

The camera then pans out in a drone camera, giving the viewers another good look of the entire complex.

"This is probably where they filmed that one train movie I just watched," Chaeyoung says in excitement, her eyes sparkling in awe.

Suddenly, Hayoung yells.

"Ahh! Ahh!"

Everyone looks at her, shocked.

"What is it?" asks Saerom.

Hayoung, still looking shocked, excitedly points somewhere far.

"I… I've seen that bench from my favorite drama show!"

"Really?" Gyuri asks.

Hayoung nods.

The camera then pans over to a familiar bench that looks identical to the one in the show.

"It really does look like that one," Seoyeon says.

"Wow, unnie," Nagyung says. "You do know your stuff."

Hayoung smiles and gives her a thumbs-up.

"Anyway… We have prepared a series of challenges for all of you," the staff member resumes.

Oohs and ahhs can be heard from the girls.

“We call these Spotlighting Challenges.”

Another wave of amazement envelops the group.

Hayoung then raises her hand. “Spotlighting Challenge?”

The staff member nods. “These challenges refer to a study about how people behave differently when they are being watched—be it on camera or in the spotlight.”

Everyone nods at the given explanation.

“Ooh. So that’s why there’s ‘spotlight’ in the name,” Chaeyoung remarks, nodding her head.

“Yeah,” Jisun hears her and agrees. “But we’re definitely used to it by now, right?”

Chaeyoung nods back, laughing. “Yeah. This should be easy for us!”

"Every single challenge has different goals and rules to achieve,” the staff member follows up. “All of you must do your best to complete each challenge."

"I see…" Nagyung replies, attentively listening.

"So where are these challenges located?" Saerom asks.

"Each challenge is located at different areas within the complex. There are nine challenges—one for each member."

Everyone is shocked at the announcement.

"Woah! Nine?" Jiheon exclaims.

"Yes, each member has a unique challenge."

"Unique challenge?" Jiwon asks, her eyes wide in shock. "So we'll be alone?"

"Yes," the staff member nods her head. "These challenges can only be completed individually."

A sudden silence fills the air as they process the information.

"Jeez… This is going to be nerve-wracking," Gyuri mumbles, scratching her head.

"I feel the same," Jiheon tells her, her body shaking in nervousness.

"We know you girls will worry about not having each other by your side," the staff member tells them reassuringly. "But we believe in each of your skills and strengths."

"Thank you," Jisun bows, accepting the encouragement.

"Are the challenges going to be difficult?" Chaeyoung asks, curiously.

The staff member shrugs her shoulders and replies in a soft tone.

“Kinda…”

Everyone then lets out sighs and grunts at the answer.

“Oh dear. We’re done for,” Nagyung frowns.

"But we made each challenge doable for any member," the staff member explains.

Everyone responds with a mixture of relief and determination.

"Well that's good news," she says with a smile.

"I know right?" Jiwon replies, also relieved.

"These challenges will require all of you to be creative. So do your best," the staff member adds.

Those words piqued the girls' curiosity. Some of them begin thinking of what they could mean.

"Be creative, huh?" Saerom asks them, her tone doubtful.

The staff member nods. She follows up with the instructions with a smirk forming on her face.

"And maybe some of your… Physical skills."

A mischievous glint suddenly sparkles in the girls' eyes as they exchange knowing looks.

"Hmmm… I wonder how physical these challenges can get?" Jiwon mischievously suggests with a playful tone.

Her teasing remark sends a wave of laughter through the group, instantly lightening the tense atmosphere.

"Oh, boy. Jiwon's at it again," Hayoung chuckles at Jiwon's suggestive remark.

The group can't help but blush at the playful insinuation.

"Surely it's nothing like that… Right?" Chaeyoung asks, looking dumbfounded at the revelation of their challenges.

The staff member smiles knowingly, making the girls even more intrigued

"Oh, dear…" Jiheon whispers under her breath, her cheeks slowly blushing. "This is going to be interesting."

"Are we really going to do it? Here?" Jisun murmurs, sounding both nervous and excited.

"I guess so," Gyuri responds with a sly grin.

The girls look at each other once again, giggling, as if they're sharing a naughty secret only they know.

"But what do we get if we win?" Nagyung then asks, diverting the topic to their goal.

"We have prepared something for all of you if you win," the staff member replies. "Since there are nine of you, the group will need five members to successfully complete the challenges."

Everyone is intrigued, their curiosity piqued by the promise of a reward.

"What's the prize? Can we get a hint?" Saerom asks, sounding mischievously.

"Yeah! Tell us!" Jiwon follows up, yelling in excitement.

"Jeez, unnie. Tone it down," Chaeyoung playfully berates her.

"Well… Is there anything you girls like?" the staff member asks the group.

Some of the members start thinking of an answer, but the others already have their minds made up.

"An all-you-can-eat buffet!"

"A trip to a theme park!"

"Rent a cinema, maybe?"

"Ooh! Let's go overseas!"

Those are some of the answers the girls excitedly shout out, their enthusiasm shooting through the roof.

The entire staff bursts into laughter at their liveliness and shared excitement.

"I guess we'll have to discuss that later," the staff member says with a smile.

"Alright!" Hayoung replies, pumping her fist in the air.

"I'm actually kinda excited now," Gyuri admits, a joyous look on her face.

"Me too," Jisun adds.

"So please do your best, everyone," the staff member encourages.

Saerom nods, looking determined. "Of course."

The other members nod, too.

The rest of the staff then carries, in front of them, a ballot box. Colorful envelopes can be seen inside the transparent box.

"Wow! So pretty," Jiheon exclaims, her eyes gleaming with excitement.

"That's cute," Nagyung agrees, a smile forming on her face.

"Everyone, please take turns drawing an envelope," the staff member instructs, gesturing towards the box.

The girls eagerly step towards the box one by one, reaching into the ballot box. They then head back to their original spots, envelopes in hand, excitement radiating from each of them. Some are careful in picking their envelopes, while some are swift and waste no time… And some play around with their selection.

All the members seem eager to open the envelopes and reveal the contents. But everyone is waiting for a signal, patiently, as their anticipation builds.

"Please remember that you shouldn't reveal the contents of your envelopes to anyone," the staff member reminds them.

Everyone responds in affirmation as they grip their envelopes tightly, excitement and curiosity swirling in their eyes.

"Okay. You can open your envelopes now."

The members rip open their envelopes, their eyes meticulously scanning the contents.

"Oh. So this is just instructions to where we should head for," Chaeyoung asks, raising an eyebrow in confusion.

The staff member nods. "Yes. You will be informed about the challenge once you reach your designated location."

She nods back in understanding. "I see…"

"I hope the missions are fun!" Saerom exclaims with a grin on her face.

"I'm more hoping that they're easy," Gyuri chuckles, crossing her fingers.

"That too!" Saerom adds, laughing along with her.

"Ugh! I'm getting nervous!" Seoyeon whines, hopping from foot to foot.

"Pretty sure you can do it," Hayoung reassures her, giving Seoyeon a comforting pat on the back.

"How cute," Nagyung murmurs, giggling at the two.

"So, is everyone ready?"

Everyone responds in unison, their voices filled with anticipation.

"We're ready!"

"Yes!"

"Let's go!"

"The Spotlight Challenge has started! Again do your best, everyone!" the staff member announces as she cheers them on.

"Thank you!" In response, the girls bowed to everyone in gratitude.

Each member then reviewed their instructions and began looking around, figuring out where to go.

"Hmmm… I guess I should be going here," Jisun muses to herself, reading the directions on her instructions sheet as she walks off.

"Hey, unnie!" Jiheon calls out to her. "Are you going?"

Jisun turns around and nods. "Ah! Uhmm... Yes."

"Wait! I'm coming with you!" Jiheon decides, running up to join Jisun on their journey.

On the other hand, the rest of the group continued to figure out their destinations.

"Well… I think I'm heading this way," Seoyeon says, pointing opposite to Jisun's direction.

"You're heading there, too?" Hayoung asks her curiously, glancing at her own instructions.

Seoyeon just nods with a sheepish smile.

"Yay! Let's go together!" she excitedly screams as she hugs her.

"Hey! I’m also heading there too!" Nagyung adds, joining in on the hug.

As the trio embraced each other tightly, the remaining members were still working out the instructions given to them.

"If this is here, then…" Gyuri mumbles. "Then this one is… Hmmm…"

"I guess I should be going… This way?" Chaeyoung says, scratching her head in confusion as she tries to decipher the instructions.

"Huh? Chaeyoung-ah," Gyuri calls out.

"Yes, unnie?"

"Are you leaving already?"

"Yeah, I think so," Chaeyoung responds, looking unsure.

"Okay. Do your best, then!" she encourages her, waving her hand at her.

"Will do! Thank you!" Chaeyoung replies cheerfully, waving back at Gyuri. "See you later!"

Suddenly, Jiwon appears behind her, as if peeking at her unnie's instructions. Gyuri quickly spots her and hides her envelope, giving Jiwon a playful glare.

"What are you doing?" the older girl asks, pretending to be annoyed.

"What?" Jiwon acts coy, smiling as if she's innocent. "I'm doing nothing?"

"You aren't supposed to peek at my directions," Gyuri scolds her, wagging her finger at Jiwon.

"No, I'm not," she continues her innocent act, blinking her eyes innocently at Gyuri.

But Gyuri sees through her act and playfully pinches Jiwon's cheek.

"Ow! Ow! Ow! Unnie!" Jiwon yelps as she feigns pain.

"Come on now, don't be sneaky," she says with a smirk.

"I'm not! Really!" Jiwon insists, rubbing her cheek dramatically.

Gyuri chuckles. "Alright. Where are you heading?"

"I'm heading that way," she points to the huge building behind the filming crew.

"Ooh. That looks big."

"I bet that's the main building."

"Seems like it. Yeah."

Suddenly, Saerom spots the two, approaches them, and joins in on the conversation.

"So, where are you going?" she asks.

Gyuri is the first to answer, pondering her options.

"I think I'll head to that building and ask around," she says, pointing to the same building Jiwon had mentioned earlier.

"Me too," Jiwon adds, nodding in agreement. "I think my challenge is somewhere in that building."

"I see…" Saerom replies, nodding at their answers.

"So where will you go?" asks Jiwon.

"Me?"

The two other girls nod expectantly.

"Same as you two. To that building," Saerom answers, confirming their choice.

"Oh. Then we all should go together," Gyuri suggests with a smile.

"Yes! Let's all go!" Jiwon exclaims excitedly, grabbing onto Gyuri and Saerom's arms.

Now with all the nine members of fromis_9 walking off in different directions, the view then shifts to a drone shot, showing the immense size of the complex, before showing a slo-mo view from each camera team that follows every member towards their respective destinations. Nervousness and excitement can be read on their faces, adding anticipation for the upcoming events.

All of a sudden, a brief montage teasing the future episodes plays. It showcases the members meeting new people, strategizing for their challenges, and lots of pure, unadulterated sex—the girls letting out screams and moans no one has probably heard. Your heart skips a beat as you process what you just saw. Doing sexy projects might not be new to them at this point, but nothing that's as bold and intense as this is.

You can't deny the creeping sense of unease that you're suddenly feeling. Yet, at the same time, it's an undeniable fact that you are getting excited and eager to see more.

Finally, the screen fades out, leaving you excited to review all of fromis_9's thrilling new series.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

Author’s Notes:

I'm back... I guess? 😅 I apologize for the sudden absence that took more than a year. I left everyone without saying a word. And with that, I would like to make up with a huge series starring all of fromis_9.

Yes. Including Gyuri. 🍊

As ambitious as this might be, and given the fact that I'm not the most creative writer with the most amount of creative juice there is, I'm gonna try and sprinkle a few other stories featuring other idols in between... Just to add variety, and to not bore myself (and everyone) with just one group.

And, yes. I know. I still have 6 more Girls' Generations to write a story about. We'll get there when we get there, okay? It'll happen... When it happens. 😂

A huge thanks to @braaan for the poster! You are too kind. 🫂

And with that, thank you very much for reading! 🙇

[call-me-rucy]

Hey Rucy, I know that you said gameplay stuff is fine in all forms. However, I'm also concerned about edits/memes and even musical remixes that use audio / voice lines. Because of point 8 in this list, it makes it seem like all of these are in danger of being taken down. And do you think "still images" means screenshots? And I guess guides of the answers to the puzzles are technically bad now too. [Regarding to their third main point in the guideline page.]

Going back to the remixes thing. Would making a remix of like, their songs/melodies, be bad because it's technically music of their games? [Point 8 of the prohibited items list that I'm most concerned about]

So sorry if I've asked anything inappropriate or is out of your comfort zone of answering. I've just been thinking about this ever since I heard about it and I'm trying to understand everything as well as I can.

Hi there, Ashe!

Don't worry, ask all you want! Just know, I'm the same, trying to understand it all through, so I only can answer with what I know at any given moment.

I do think that still images means screenshots, yes! And yes, indeed it seems like puzzle guides in form of videos and screenshots seem to be affected by point 3. Which is... all of guides, because how do you do a layton guide without screenshots. We have to take care and archive guides as well. If you know good guides, I reccomend using webarchive on them.

It makes me wonder, because the go-to guides for the spanish layton guides are hosted by Nintendo, officially. Surely they won't take that one down?

And about point 8...

About point 8.

I must thank you enormously for this ask, Ashe, because I'm only now realizing that the verb used in point 8 can have two meanings. I took it to mean listening, as in, don't edit the movies to extract the music to listen to it. But I just looked it up in the dictionary and it can indeed mean "watch" as well TT_TT

視聴 Noun, Suru verb, Transitive verb 1. looking and listening; (television) viewing; watching​

So I was assuming edits were only covered by point 3, but it seems point 8 of "Forbidden" refers to them specifically too... Sigh...

So about "Would making a remix of like, their songs/melodies, be bad because it's technically music of their games?", I'm not entirely sure.

We've established that cutscenes and the music edited together to be watched or listened to exactly as it is in gamemight be a no go. But then there is such things as transformative use.

You see, I got an ask right after yours that goes a bit deeper into the law stuff, saying that L-5 is trying to follow international copyright law, which is similar to US copyright law (I will publish it when I answer it in a bit).

And Wikipedia says: "In United States copyright law, transformative use or transformation is a type of fair use that builds on a copyrighted work in a different manner or for a different purpose from the original, and thus does not infringe its holder's copyright".

Fanfic is transformative work, that's why AO3 is legal. From my non-law eyes, I'd say maybe a remix and an edit could be a transformative work as well? LAW ANON, IF YOU'RE READING THIS, PLEASE HELP!

I think the problem would arise if you're trying to mimic the official experience of the game outside of the game. Like in cutscene compilations that tell you the whole story of the game.

With that in mind, my proposed approach is:

Do not panic

No need to remove old stuff unless you are specifically asked by the platform/level-5, or maybe it will automatically removed, idk how that's gonna work

If you get your stuff removed please share that info so we can know more exactly what it's being affected

For new stuff, follow the guidelines when you can (e.g. comment your gameplays, add banners or borders to your streams, warn for spoilers, crediting L-5 in videos)

Archive the old stuff you like. This is a bit of "Hope for the best, prepare for the worst". (It is a good practice as a general rule: you never know when some fav playlist maker will choose to delete old videos on a whim, and this is as good of a time to start saving as any other).

[steviewashere]

For the writers ask game - 🍓, 🕯, and 🦷!

Ooo these ones are super interesting questions, thank you for the ask <3

My answers are so long, forgive me.

🍓— How did you get into writing fanfiction?

I was pet sitting for a friend of mine and was listening to some music on my computer while cleaning up a bit. And I can't remember the exact song that I was listening to, but it inspired me to write some dialogue. I think the dialogue I began writing was something along the lines of having to do with a heart being like a rose bush or something??? I genuinely cannot remember. All I know is that it turned into this chunk of dialogue from my first fanfic, "Out of This Garden, You Are My Favorite Flower":

"That you can be beautiful. That you can hurt others. That they will try to remove these ugly parts of you. I think everybody needs the ugly parts of themselves. And, you know, your heart is the rose," Eddie placed his left hand over Steve's heart. It beat steadily. The shirt, subsequently the skin, under his palm was warm. "Your heart is a rose. It is the most pure part of yourself. And because it continues to beat, that shows your perseverance through every disgusting mess you've been involved in. All those fights, the Upside Down, your own head," Eddie smirked, but not teasingly. "A person can't blossom without acknowledging that. You've done that. Truly, I think you have."

I just remember reading back part of the original dialogue, which I believe is long gone (think I deleted it from my notes app??), and thinking, Oh, this sort of works for Steve/Eddie. So I squished the lines into something that made semi-sense. And the rest is history. Can definitely tell you, right now, that my dialogue has improved immensely.

🕯️— On a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you enjoy editing? Why is that?

I honestly think it might be a seven. I'm not—like—spectacular at editing, but there's a sort of rhythm to it that I enjoy. Now, the only reason it's not a full ten is because I get really mad at myself when I catch horrible spelling/grammatical errors...especially that cursed your/you're mistake. But in terms of what I like, I sort of enjoy the rigorous practice of figuring out what does and doesn't work. I enjoy expanding upon a sentence; you'll maybe notice that I do a lot of run-on list type sentences—like this one from "Hold Me Softly":

Steve sighs, not quite relieved, but easier. It’s still bright. And Eddie’s van smells a little bit like marijuana. And maybe Steve hasn’t smoked that in a little while because the scent is too intense and he never knows how to explain why the smell alone makes him want to scream, but it does and he knows part of that isn’t normal but he doesn’t know how to be normal and now he’s blown his cover all because of something petulant like music being too loud and now Eddie won’t want to date him because he’s being irritable and annoying and—

That one I had gone back and extended while in the editing process. Because I figured it would be easier to kind of show Steve's panic in the narrative, rather than have him say to Eddie that he's overwhelmed or hitting a wall or whatever. So, that part of editing I really enjoy. Or when I get to add in a little bit extra, usually a description or another line of dialogue. I kind of just enjoy the challenge that comes with editing. Because my brain is sort of on autopilot when I'm actually writing the piece, but revisiting it during editing is when the real work begins.

🦷— Share some personal wisdom or a life hack you swear on.

I fear that I don't have much in terms of personal wisdom or life hacks. But I'll try.

If you're somebody like me who gets really anxious when they're nauseous, find something to ground yourself. And that's easier said than done, so my favorite go-to things are typically a sour or hard candy. I've had good experiences with Jolly Ranchers, Cinnamon Discs, Butterscotch Discs, and my new favorite have been these Hongyuan Guava candies. Or chewing gum, usually mint...like a spearmint or even the polar ice flavor from Extra.

Personal wisdom, though. This one's maybe a little, not darker, but not super light either. I'm somebody that's struggled with my mental health/suicidal thoughts for most of my life. And when I mean most, I mean most. It's hard, I know, to find things or find a reason to keep going. And I find the stupidest piece of advice I've ever been given is, "Stay for yourself. Be here for you." If you don't like yourself or don't really know about yourself, that piece of advice is dog shit.

For me, I found reason through even the smallest of things that brought me pleasure. Things like...music. I remember, the lowest point in my life was back in November, 2022. This was two months after Djo's Decide released and I had already listened to it a few times all the way through. And at a time where I had been considering, y'know, it was music that drew me back in. I had this passing, yet very firm thought that, If you do this, you may never know if Djo puts out another album. If you do this, think of all the music you're going to miss. And music is such an important part of my life, I couldn't fathom leaving it behind. Sure, there was family I needed to think of and eventually myself, but at my lowest, it was music; it was art. I found myself thinking of other things, too. Like, at the time, I thought about possibly missing the end of Stranger Things—what would happen to my favorite characters, I wouldn't know. And then, Who's going to make the best damn apple pie for Christmas? Nobody else in my family bakes like I do.

And it just went on and on. None of it was really about me. It was all these small, almost unimportant things, that got bigger and bigger as I thought deeper and deeper. It was a lot of music and art and culture. It was food that I really enjoy. It was my cat's purr. And my siblings' laughter. My best friend, across state lines, who knows me better than I know myself, who still sends me memes about YouTubers we've watched since we were eleven years old.

So, if you're struggling like I at one point did, think of all the smaller things in your life that bring you joy. Even if other people think they're not as important as yourself, fuck them. If you like it, if that thing pleases you, hold onto it. It's a drop in the ocean to most people, but if you're floundering, like a fish, the ocean is the best place to be—yeah? You want all the water you can get. In the end, if pleasure is what saves you, then so be it. You don't have to stay for yourself, you can find other things to grapple onto. Because, yeah, if you go through with the plan, you may never know the other things in your life that'll bring you joy.

And, y'know, there's been a lot of online activity from the Djotime Instagram page. There's a third album coming and I would've never known that if I went through with my plan. And, at some point—though I can't pinpoint when—I found myself as a reason, my future, the things I want for myself. But it started with wondering about this upcoming album. It hasn't come out yet, it could completely suck (who knows), but even if it does...at least I got to hear it, right?

Seriously, it's the small things. I think (and sorry that got so deep) that's my personal wisdom.

Writer's Truth & Dare Ask Game

[hebuiltfive]

Irretrievable

Last night, I couldn't get this out of my head. So I wrote it. Thought I'd give Virgil a whirl this time and give Scooter a little break from emotional pain.

Bonus points to anyone who can guess which song inspired this one. It's not entirely subtle from the start.

Edit to add the AO3 link.

------------------------------------

"You're losing me, Vee."

That gut-wrenching pain that only came when hearts shattered into a million pieces tore through Virgil's entire being. This wasn't supposed to be how the night ended, it wasn't supposed to be how their story ended. He hated how he couldn't control it, how he had allowed it all to simmer under the surface and break apart this way.

"I don't understand..."

"I know you don't."

"Come on, Harper, let's just talk about this!" He would beg, he would plead, because he couldn't let it go. He couldn't let him go. The ache, the loss, the pain would tear him apart bit by bit. Virgil could already feel himself breaking.

Harper stood firm, retreating a few steps when Virgil tried to close the distance, trying to make it right. "I can't."

"Please don't just walk away. Whatever it is, I can fix it. We can fix it. You've just got to talk to me."

"Talking is all I ever try to do!" Harper snapped. The salty stream of tears continued to run but it was clear he'd turned his own heartbreak into rage. Maybe it would make it easier for him to deal with. Maybe it was truly how he felt.

Either way, Virgil felt baffled by it. Never had he seen Harper so enraged, and to think that it was his fault... if his heart hadn't already been shattered, it would have in that second.

"I always tried to talk." Harper continued, seemingly not caring for how Virgil would take his words. Apparently he was done trying to tip-toe around the subject. "You never listened. You were always busy."

That wasn't... entirely true, surely? Virgil would have defended that he was a brilliant listener. He was certainly the best out of his family, and he had worn that honour with pride. For Harper to claim he hadn't been listening to them.

"Do you know when we last had an actual proper conversation, Vee?"

The question very quickly had him stumped. Virgil attempted to answer but had to close his mouth quickly to avoid looking like a fish out of water — something he very much felt in this given situation — because the answer evaded him.

"Two weeks ago." Harper put him out of his misery with a scoff. "You don't even remember!"

"Hey, I've had a lot on my plate!" He didn't snap — Virgil never snapped — but he was beginning to get irrate. Harper accusing him of things Virgil would very much disagree with? It was ludicrous and borderline over-dramatic.

"With International Rescue? Yeah, I know."

Virgil bit back a retort as he watched Harper roll his eyes. That single action seemed hurt him more than any of his other accusations had thus far.

"When we first started seeing each other, you said you were fine with International Rescue."

"That was before I saw the truth!"

Virgil blinked. "What the hell does that mean?"

Harper, as though he was stating the obvious and Virgil was too dumb to catch onto his meaning, sighed. "You promised it wouldn't get in the eay. You promised you'd have time for me, for us. You lied."

"I didn't lie!"

"You lied, Virgil! Or, at the very least, you didn't keep those promises."

Harper was back to the heartbreaking crying now, the rage passing over like a dark storm cloud that was now content it had flooded a region.

"I didn't... It's not... International Rescue is important, you know that. It's important to my family, to the world, to me."

"You pushed me down the list." Harper accused sharply.

"There's never been any list! You're acting as though I've been cheating on you!"

"I guess it kind of feels that way."

"For fuck's sake, Harper, it's my job!"

"Well, maybe I don't think you should do that job anymore!"

The truth leaked out in Harper's yell, his arms perching on his hips. Virgil saw the pain in his partner's eyes, saw the raw, honest hurt that had clearly been pushed below the surface more than once to avoid such a confrontation.

Noticing it helped to dull the betrayal Virgil felt in his soul, but only by a fraction.

Harper didn't relent. "You'd cancel on me, go out on those ridiculous, death-defying missions and I wouldn't know if you'd ever be coming home. You'd say we'd rearrange our dinner, but I never knew if you'd ever make it back."

He took a deep breath, continuing in a whisper that was broken up by uneven sobbing. "You're killing me, Virgil. You're killing me and the worst part is you don't see that."

Harper had been wrong earlier. Virgil wasn't losing him. Harper was already lost, because Virgil didn't know how to fix it.

He wasn't going to give up International Rescue. He loved the job almost as much as he loved to paint. It was his last connection with his late-father and was a pillar of his family.

Above all else, he saved lives and gave hope to people when every other resort failed.

No, he wouldn't give any of that up.

Virgil knew that Harper already understood that. The conversation would have taken a different turn had his boyfriend thought their relationship was at all salvagable.

"I love you." Virgil said, knowing it would be for the last time. He'd spoken those three words to Harper on so many occasions over the last twenty months. Never had they stung so badly.

He hadn't expected Harper to respond in kind, but the lack of hearing the words "I love you too, Vee" had Virgil's heart disintergrating.

There was no love left.

Harper had left that night with all his items stuffed into a suitcase and a dufflebag. They hadn't exchanged anymore words. Virgil watched as Harper exited the penthouse suite for the last time, not even looking back to offer him one last glimpse of those hazel eyes that would now haunt him for the rest of his life.

Alone again.

Without love again.

Virgil didn't sleep that night, too caught up in his mind. How had he not seen the signs? How had he not caught this before it had become too late? Was he truly so absorbed in his work to have so blindly stumbled down this path instead of his happily ever after?

He had seen the same story play out time and time again with Scott. Virgil had promised himself he wouldn't end up like his older brother. Then again, according to Harper, he wasn't the best with promises so why was he surprised he wasn't able to keep this one?

Virgil eyed his communicator. He was too emotionally exhausted to work out the time zones but if he called Tracy Island, one of his brothers was sure to pick up. He allowed the call to ring for what seemed like an age, and was about to hang up when John appeared as a floating image in front of him.

"Thought you were supposed to be grabbing steak at that new restaurant?" He asked by way of greeting.

"Harper... he left."

John's face fell. "Did he have a call-out?"

Virgil shook his head, hanging it lowly to hide the new stream of tears from view.

It didn't matter. John clocked on fairly quickly. "Virgil, I'm so sorry."

Comforting words were said, reassurances and love expressed, but Virgil still felt that gaping hole inside him. Harper had gone and he had taken what felt like Virgil's very soul with him.

"Do you ever question the point of what we do?" He eventually asked John once he was tired of hearing his brother's attempts of cheering him up.

"Not really. Our work is important."

"What's the point in saving the world if we have no-one to come home to?"

John didn't have an answer to that. He could have been a wise-ass and noted how they still had each other, but he didn't. Virgil appreciated that.

The question haunted him for weeks, just as the memory of Harper failed to leave him. Over and over again, he'd ask himself what the point was. Over and over again, he'd force himself to ignore the ache in his chest when he couldn't find an answer.

He felt like he was dying. In killing Harper's love, Virgil was certain he'd killed part of himself. The days grew longer and more wearisome, but he kept pushing.

One day, the pain would heal. One day, he'd find someone who understood the workload. One day, his heart would beat again for someone new.

He just had to keep holding out until that day came, no matter how long it took.

[kobbers]

Joining in the Horizon Base Jams for the first prompt: a ship playlist for Feb 14th! except...

My Aloy ship is “none of the above”. So I decided to try a list for aroace!Aloy, instead. c:

in which I explain my choices (is this cheating?):

1) Would be the sole song if I had to condense the premise down to one. I just like how a lot of the lyrics work with Aloy crammed into the POV spot, especially in the context of the opening of Forbidden West.

2) Aloy’s burden: constantly deflecting advances when she’s just trying to... advance her mission. Sigh. Please go away.

3) Now we’re getting a little introspection, realization that she’s just not into these things people keep asking about. “Maybe one day, someday,” but... maybe not!

(edited to add)

4) From the perspective of her closest friends and allies, acknowledging the sheer weight on her shoulders, expressing admiration for her strength... but also almost begging her to allow herself to give, to crack, to accept the tiniest bit of support. She can rely on them, it’s okay, and they won’t think any less of her for it.

(/edit)

5) Starting to discover the connections that do matter to Aloy! While she's working on stopping a very real existential threat, it becomes equally important to her as a preservation of Elisabet’s legacy... and the work of the other “Ancestors” who made this current world possible.

6) Aloy is surprisingly empathetic to strangers from the outset of her journey, despite everything. But it’s one thing to help a stranger in need and move on, and another to provide (and receive) continued support to/from a friend. This might take a bit to get used to.

7) The admission: “I’m limited.” Relaxing her tight control on her... everything, and letting a precious few alter her path for the better.

8) The first song that came to my mind for a platonic playlist. Now we’re throwing around serious phrases like “best friend,” and maybe even admitting that pesky l-word without fear of misinterpretation.

[imaginatorcreates]

Part Of The One Percent

12 July 2023 — 12 July 2023

Summary: In which Jazz poses a question to Akemi.

Word Count: ~2.4k words

Author's Notes: Featuring my OCs in a D&D-esque world! They've been rotating in my brain for a while now. They're queerplatonic! Also, this was written with a burst of inspiration whilst I listened to various music. Also, not entirely edited because my brain is tired.

Love songs were surprisingly unrelatable, even now.

They always seemed to talk about beings getting physical, yearning, breaking up, and many other experiences that Jazz never really thought about. However, besides pop songs, they were always the most requested things whenever they asked for song requests to play on the radio within their school.

Actually, love pop songs were the most requested things. There was a specific distinction between the two. Pop songs were catchy and peppy, while love songs talked about the aforementioned things they just listed. Love pop songs were popular love songs.

Would someone call Jazz a hypocrite for still finding most love pop songs unrelatable? Would someone who had known them for long enough to hear them complain about “yet another love song” now scoff if they saw their current circumstances?

Oh, perhaps. But that was because the entire situation just looked so…romantically domestic.

It wasn’t. Promise.

It was domestic, yes. But not romantic.

“Okay, but you and the Bellamy girl are just so cute together,” one of their teammates commented offhandedly as she held a refined magical ore up to her eye to check it for imperfections. A single, incorrectly cut facet resulted in the frequencies not traveling correctly, which led to the entire radio receiving and sending nothing but static. “You two have at least kissed, right?”

Jazz cleared their throat as they fiddled with the wires on the upcoming radio prototype. A larger version, one with bigger speakers and improved bass pickup. “No, we haven’t. We’re content with what we have, and there’s no reason to do anything we aren’t comfortable with.”

She blew a raspberry. “Boo! So you two have been dating — ”

“Not exactly dating…”

“ — for what? A month now? And you two haven’t even kissed?” She groaned and waggled a finger at them. “It took my partner and I only a week and a half before we shared our first kiss under the sunset!” She sighed as she added, “It was so — ”

“Romantic, yeah yeah.” Jazz swiped the magical ore from her hand and gently placed it in its slot within the radio prototype. “I told you, we aren’t like that.”

She let out a huff. “You two are so confusing.”

“Thank you dear,” Jazz shot back. “I appreciate it.”

However, she didn’t seem satisfied with letting the topic go just yet. “Okay, but have you even thought about it?”

“Thought about what?”

“You know.” She pursed her lips together as she said, “Kissing her.”

Jaz hummed as they fiddled with the wires again, neither a direct yes or no. Truth be told — and they never shared this with anyone, not even behind their confident persona on the radio — they have thought about it. Fleeting thoughts with seemingly no pattern behind them.

Sometimes, they would be studying together into the early hours of morning, and when Akemi thought Jazz wasn’t looking (oh, but they were), she would nod off. “I’m just resting my eyes,” she would say every time. And every time, she would never wake up from resting her eyes. Jazz would restrain themself from reaching over, tucking her hair behind one of her pierced ears, and planting a quick kiss to her forehead.

Other times, they would be bouncing ideas off each other, with Akemi’s getting more and more extravagant and otherworldly. As she would wave her hands around, her voice getting more animated as she would add in a few sound effects for emphasis, Jazz would only watch her with a soft smile. Once or twice, they would think about reaching up to gently take one of her hands and bringing it up to — 

“Ah-ha!”

Jazz jumped a bit as they looked up from their work on the wires.

Their teammate’s face had a triumphant grin on it. “So you do think about kissing her sometimes! I knew you had some sort of romantic bone in you!”

“Rude assumption,” Jazz grumbled, turning their gaze back to the wires. “As if you can tell me that with such confidence.”

“But you do, don’t you?” She leaned over the table and tried to meet the other’s gaze. “Hey! I’ll drop the topic if you answer me!”

“You’ll accuse me of lying if I say no, so you’ll never settle for an answer other than ‘yes’.” Jazz closed up the prototype radio and stood up, doing their best to not let their face be noticed by their nosy teammate. “So I’ll leave it at that.”

They quickly left the room, but not before they heard their teammate shout, “I bet you do!”

What was wrong with the beings in this school?

------

“Hello — ! Oh!”

Jazz chuckled at Akemi’s surprised gasp as they dramatically draped themself on a free portion of her workbench. The blue-skinned being slowly sat up with a groan to properly look at Akemi. “Surprise,” they said with a dry tone.

“Hello!” Akemi giggled. “You wanna see me figure out some things for my next mecha?” She snapped her fingers as her green eyes lit up. “Oh! That rhymes! Kinda…”

“You’re a poet and you know it,” Jazz said back with a chuckle. “But I’d love to listen.”

Akemi grabbed some of her papers and rolled her chair closer to Jazz. She went on about her next idea, something about incorporating more stealth into the design. “Think ninja, yeah?” she said. “Except it’s gotta be durable. Sleek and functional of course. I can’t risk my poor baby being dented from everyday use either!”

Jazz let out a laugh. “Your baby?”

Akemi playfully stuck out her tongue. “Of course! They’re my children! I made them with hard work and my own two hands! Spells included.” She winked and shook a finger at them. “Don’t I have the right to call them my children? Isn’t it also an adorable nickname for them?”

You’re adorable.

Of course, Jazz didn’t say this aloud. “It’s a funny nickname, that’s all” was what they said instead.

Akemi laughed. “Okay Jazzy, whatever you say about my babies,” she said as she spun in her chair.

“Emi, don’t say it like that! Just go back to calling them children, dear gods.” Jazz’s face crinkled up in mirth as they stuck their foot out to catch it on the armrest of Akemi’s chair.

The chair stopped and Akemi looked at them with a playful expression. She raised one of her brows and she propped up her head with her hand. “C’mon Jazzy, what’s wrong? Can’t stand to see me go around the world that is my chair without you? Or maybe you're thinking too much about me calling my creations ‘my babies’?”

Jazz shrugged. “Can’t I want to look you in the eyes when we talk?”

“Ah, touche partner,” Akemi shifted her position in her chair as she said this. “It’s still weird calling you that.”

Jazz felt their face start to warm a bit. “Partner? Why so?”

“It’s like…I can say it to you playfully. Partners in crime, dear Jazz and I!” She raised her hands and said, “Pew! Like that, you know?”

Jaz placed a hand over their chest and gasped. “Ah! Straight for the heart! Emi, how could you?”

“You know me!” Akemi brought her hands up to her mouth and blew on her fingers. She dropped her hands down to her lap as her tone shifted back into a serious one. “But if I were to call you ‘partner’, like in a more serious sense, it feels…off. You know?” She shrugged and looked away for a bit. “It’s like…this established thing we have now, it’s not the right word.”

Jazz hummed a bit and shook their head from side to side. “I can see it.” Their teammate’s words surfaced in their mind, but they pushed them down for now. “Partner sometimes does sound a bit strong, for now at least.”

“Oh? You like being referred to as my partner?” Akemi stood up from her chair and raised her hands up. “If that’s so, then it sounds less weird!”

“Wait, what?” Jazz sputtered.

“Exactly! It only felt off to me because I was like ‘Is this coming on a bit strong? Should I go with something else? Something fluffier and lighter? Like cupie? Like the letters ‘q’ and ‘p’ except spelled out in a haphazardly phonetic way!’” Akemi spread her hands out as she said ‘cupie’. “It’s a cute alternative to ‘partner’!”

“You’re cute.” Jazz covered their mouth as soon as the words slipped out. They slowly let their hand down. “I said that out loud.”

Akemi laughed, a light blush dusting her pink skin. “You’re cute! Adorable too.” She moved closer to Jazz and sat on the counter of her workbench. “You have a great mind, I love that too. Your voice! Exquisite. You’re a soothing person to be around Jazz.”

Oh dear gods. Jazz’s face only heated up more at these compliments that Akemi was dishing out. Their orange eyes moved away from her own eyes and they cleared their throat. “Well! You’re cute. Sweet. I love how excited you can be over your ideas. I love your music, and your theories about aliens.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I also think that — ” The words died in their throat. The words from their teammate resurfaced.

“Think what?” Akemi asked them. “C’mon! Don’t leave me hanging!” She leaned back on her hands as she grinned at her blushing partner. “Take your time, but please tell me.”

Jazz pressed their lips shut and willed themself to not break. They could bend, but they couldn’t break. “It’s nothing.”

“I want to hear what ‘nothing’ is.” Akemi leaned in towards them as she added, “I think it’ll sound interesting when it’s you talking about it.”

Focus!

Jazz looked around Akemi’s workshop. What could be the substituted “nothing”? Her mecha plans? Her empty glass bottles that they knew were previously filled with a bubbly and sweet drink?

Nothing. Nothing, except for what their teammate said earlier.

“What’s your opinion on kisses?”

Akemi hummed. “Kisses? Like what romantic partners do?”

“Yeah.” Jazz forced themself to look at Akemi. “What’s your opinion on them?”

Akemi shifted in her spot. Her blush seemed to have grown a bit. “I think they’re okay. But when tongue gets involved, like in some books? Eugh, that’s gross.”

Jazz snickered. “Exactly.”

“Why do you ask?”

Oh gods. Now came the follow-up questions. “Because…I was thinking of it earlier. A teammate was talking about it.”

Akemi’s mouth pursed into an ‘oh’. “So you were thinking about kisses?”

“Yes. Um…” Jazz focused their gaze on Akemi’s shoulder. “I was thinking. And I was wondering. Um, what are your thoughts on kisses for you?”

“Where?” Akemi asked, suspiciously quickly.

Jazz’s eyes flickered up to meet Akemi’s gaze. “Forehead. Cheeks. Maybe hands. I’m not opposed to suggestions, if you’re not. I know you have different experiences and boundaries and I don’t want to cross any of them…” Their voice trailed off as they felt their entire face heat up, extending past their face into their pointed ears. They dropped their gaze down to their lap.

“Well!” Akemi exclaimed after a few moments of silence. “I’m okay with those!”

A breath Jazz didn’t know they were holding escaped.

“But!” Akemi continued, “I would say ‘no’ to 95 percent of people!” From the corner of their eye, they saw Akemi move a bit closer to them. “And an even larger percentage, 99 percent, would be locked off from this!”

Her hand cupped their chin to turn it towards her as she crashed her lips to their own.

The improvised and sudden kiss wasn’t like anything described in books. Most kisses were described to be soft and gentle. This was a surprise. Their noses hit each other and the two separated with groans of pain as teeth accidentally grazed lips from the force that was incorrectly calculated.

Jaz rubbed their mouth and murmured, “Gods…! Emi! What…?”

Akemi’s face was alight with a blush as she confidently said, “You’re in the one percent Jazz.” Her smile was lopsided and her lower lip was bleeding. She licked it and winced at the taste. “Oh. Oops. That wasn’t…oops.”

Jazz felt a bubble of laughter start to build up in them. It slowly made its way to their throat and popped. It was a quiet laugh at first, but then it escalated into a boisterous one.

“Jazz! This isn’t funny!” Akemi reached over and lightly shook them by the shoulders. Her tone betrayed her joking manner. “My lip is bleeding! Oh wait, it stopped.”

“Sorry, sorry! I just…” Jazz let out one more laugh. “That was a disaster!”

Akemi laughed. “That was impulsive of me, sorry! I was just thinking a bit about it too.” Her fingers lightly tapped her previously-bleeding lip as she added, “What I said was true though. You could kiss me.”

Jazz gave her a soft smile as they leaned in a bit. “Let’s try again? Less force, hopefully no blood this time?”

Akemi playfully stuck her tongue out before she responded, “Fine. But only because you’re so persuasive.”

“You love me.”

“With reckless abandon.”

“Like you do with everyone?”

“You’re special.”

This time, it was calculated. It was gentle. Slow. Soft. Jazz felt Akemi’s mouth curve upwards into a smile, and they chuckled as they pulled away and rested their forehead to her own. Their horns lightly clicked against each other as they stayed like that for a bit.

“I’m in your special one percent, hmm?” Jazz asked after what felt like forever. Their voice dipped a bit into their broadcasting one. “You’re going to have to tell me more.”

Akemi chuckled. “I’m making it up as I go. I’ll tell you as I think of it. How’s that, my radio star?”

“I’ll wait for your intergalactic message, my alien.”

The two eventually broke their forehead touch. The rest of the time slowly passed as they talked about whatever came to mind. But this time, it was littered with more small things. Shoulder touches, interlocked pinkies. Forehead kisses.  More forehead touches, and for longer.

Jazz wouldn’t be surprised if Akemi made a tune about this.

And they knew that she wouldn’t be surprised if they listened to it as much as they could.

[starlightswitch]

Worth the Argument

(for writer's month day five prompt movie set)

“Cut!”

Violet sighed. Loudly. One of the actors playing the main couple shot her a dirty look.

Not that Violet knew the whole plot of the movie—she didn’t need to—but from this scene it seemed like the female character who was getting proposed to was supposed to be sort of insecure and shy. Violet was learning quickly that Catalina, the actress, was none of those things.

“Okay, continue.”

The couple returned to their conversation, and Violet returned to playing the guitar.

She was playing herself, effectively, although she wouldn’t be in the credits that way because no one knew her name. But “musician at bar” was basically a description of her.

It was unusual playing the guitar as quietly as possible. They were going to edit the music in later, so it wouldn’t interfere with hearing the actors talking. They were going to have her record it after they had her record the scene. Apparently that was the usual way it went, in case she had to play it differently to go with how it looked.

She assumed she wouldn’t be in focus enough for it to be obvious if she played something differently, but she supposed they wanted to minimize the blooper list.

The guy came up to her with some money in his hand. “Hey,” he said, “we’ve got a special song. Could you play it?”

Apparently that wasn’t going to be audible in the movie either, but the director felt strongly about lines being spoken. In this case it was so the body language would be true to what they were saying.

Not that Violet was saying much. “Sure,” she said. “What is it?”

Which was not a thing she would ever say even if she was actually taking requests. She wouldn’t say “sure” to a request before even knowing what it was, in case it was something she didn’t know and didn’t feel able to figure out quickly. If she was feeling generous she could have said this was meant to show her character’s skill at figuring out songs on the fly, but she wasn’t sure her character was supposed to be a character at all.

Which was fine. She was here to promote her music, not to start an acting career. The frustrating part was that she didn’t really get to promote her music. The fact that it wasn’t live in the scene she could have lived with if she’d thought they’d just add a recording of her playing it, but that never happened. As soon as it was recorded there was this pressure to slap pitch correction on it.

In this case it might not even be pressure, it might be done without her getting a chance to argue.

And if there was an argument she knew how it would go, because she’d already been through it a million times. She would say she didn’t care if she sounded perfect, that she’d been at open mics and she’d been at showcases and she could say with confidence that basically nobody sounded perfect all the time. The answer would throw some of those same words back at her—the people who heard this recording wouldn’t be comparing it to live performances at an open mic or showcase, they’d be comparing it to other recordings, in other social media posts or on the radio or in this case elsewhere in the movie, and those would mostly be perfect because most other people cared about that.

“You’re the One for Me,” said the actor.

Violet nodded.

“Thanks.” He tossed the money in the tip jar.

Personally Violet hated it when someone waited to tip her until she agreed to play their request. It probably didn’t matter to this character who could apparently play anything anybody wanted.

She was definitely putting more thought into this character than whoever created her.

She waited until the actor was halfway back to the table and then started playing. The second wasn’t an original, which she didn’t mind, but she did mind that it sounded enough like a happy love song version of “You Were Meant for Me” that she suspected it had been intentionally written as one.

Her eyes were on the couple as they talked, as the man dropped to one knee. When the woman nodded and pulled him to his feet for a kiss, Violet stopped playing and got to her feet and applauded.

“Cut! Be more excited!” The director told Violet. “You were just part of a proposal! That’s probably never happened for you before!”

They did it again. “Cut!”

Violet took a deep breath and held it a second.

“You’re still getting to your feet like you’re not sure about it. I want you jumping to your feet and applauding!”

Well, for God’s sake. “I’m not going to just drop my guitar,” Violet told him.

“I’m not telling you to drop your guitar. Just stand up with it still around your shoulder.”

“That’s what I’m doing.”

“Quickly and excitedly!”

“I’m standing up as quickly as I can. I promise this is exactly how fast I would stand up if someone proposed in front of me.” That was not true. She probably wouldn’t even notice if someone proposed in front of her and she definitely wouldn’t be so excited she would stand up and applaud. But this was the fastest she was willing to stand up when she had been playing the guitar.

“You don’t look excited,” said the director.

Violet went to put a hand on her hip, caught herself, put it on her back and pretended she was just stretching. “If I was really excited I wouldn’t stand up. I’d just start clapping where I was.” That was reasonably close to true. “And then maybe I’d stand up and cheer, and then go back to clapping once I was standing.” That was back to ‘more realistic than jumping up without thinking about the guitar, but that wasn’t saying much’.

After a pause that felt very long the director said, “All right. We can try that.”

Violet had gone into this thinking it would be worth it if it got her ten new fans. The number just kept getting higher.

-

2020 day 5: Love, In Summary (soulmates)

2021 day 5: A Sparkly Secret (secret + Flash Fiction Friday #112��sunny delights)

2022 day 5: Another Lonely Heart (heart + Flash Fiction Friday #162 the letter)

2023 day 6: The Possibility of a Relationship (sun + poolside)

[chorusfm]

Liner Notes (March 24th, 2024)

This week, we try to catch up on two weeks of music and add a whole bunch of first impressions (Sum 41, The Early November, Strung Out, and more). The supporter Q&A post can be found here. If you’d like this newsletter delivered to your inbox each week (it’s free and available to everyone), you can sign up here. A Few Things * It’s been a few weeks since I last wrote a newsletter. Last Monday was my, audible sigh, forty-first birthday. So, the past few weekends have been tied up with quite a bit of family time on top of the usual errands, and I just ran out of hours to sit down and write. I don’t know how to put that idea of being 41 into words. Last year had me feeling things, and this year was a little more of the same. It went by faster. My hair is getting a little grayer. But I still have my family and health and consider myself extremely lucky. Most of my gifts were records or band hoodies (shocking), but Hannah got me some of the New Found Glory Coffee, and I was shockingly impressed with it. A lot of “band coffee” I’ve tried in the past has been over-roasted or very clearly not fresh. This was neither and had an excellent flavor to it. Would recommend. My mom gave me a few of these vinyl record containers, and they’re fantastic. Perfect for stacking, and I’m using them to store some of my overstocks that won’t fit on the shelves (I know, I know). I also had a pretty incredible steak dinner and added some albums to my collection, which I’ve wanted for a long time. The funny thing is, after just a couple of years of putting band merch on my wishlists and now multiple holidays and birthdays passing, my wardrobe has more band-related clothes in it than I ever did back in the AbsolutePunk heyday. And I’m not complaining; I’ve embraced becoming that guy. * I was enthralled with this article on the “two-handed bowler,” and I’ve never followed that sport at all. Fascinating stuff. And this podcast episode with Howard Benson talking about producing Hellow, Rockview and it being one of the first albums ever recorded using ProTools was great. In Case You Missed It * Lauren Mayberry – “Change Shapes” * Cyrus Bolooki on New Podcast * Interview: Jim Adkins of Jimmy Eat World * Review: Yellowcard / Hammock – A Hopeful Sign * Ben Folds Announces New Tour * New Interview With Green Day * Review: Blink-182 – One More Time… * Sharp Eyes – “Past Your Best” (Video Premiere) * Interview: Pete Wentz of Fall Out Boy * Albums in Stores – Mar 22nd, 2024 Music Thoughts * Interesting articles jumped to the top of the popularity list last week. What spiked those in particular? I’ll see if I see anything interesting in the referral stats. * OK, let’s start with music from two weeks ago. Kacey Musgraves released Deeper Well, and I think it’s a welcome return. I tried, I did, but I could not get into her previous album at all. This has a very lovely, breezy feel to it. Some of the lyrics don’t work for me (the gravity bong line pulls me out every time), but the whole album is like a warm spring evening. Comforting. Justin Timberlake’s new album is also better than his previous one, but not by much. It’s too long. Bloated. In massive need of restraint and editing. There are individual songs on it that I like, but as an album, I find it a bit of a slog to get through. * This week we have The Gaslight Anthem dropping History Books (Short Stories) and my word is it good. Produced by Butch Walker? A cover of “Ocean Eyes”? A reworked version of “Blue Jeans & White T-Shirts”? Like, come on. An embarrassment of riches here. The full thing is a win, top to bottom, and add me to the chorus of people hoping Butch will produce a full-length from these guys at some point. Ruston Kelly’s collection of b-sides, Weakness, etc., is just as impressive. I’ve been playing both of these back-to-back all weekend. * And now for a string of first impressions: Sasha Alex Sloan’s upcoming album, Me Again, reminds me a lot of Kacey’s new album. It has that… https://chorus.fm/features/articles/liner-notes-march-24th-2024/

[fanaticsnail]

AAAAAAAAA!!!

how dare you

How dare you seduce me with pining glances and sweet fluff and then twist a knife in my back with angst!!!

(/j I loved it)

Did you have a visual in mind for the dancing? (If so please share) I, personally, have a soft spot for the dance scene in Cinderella (2015). Though, if you're looking for a more upbeat dance (which I think is possibly more of a tango? Idk how to classify dances) the dance scene from Waltz for Ava Che is an honourable mention.

I'm sorry, it was meant to be cute and fluffy but it got very angsty very quickly! I honestly can't wait to write the rest.

I had a few reference videos that I was using for the dance. The list are as follows:

The Enchanted dance scene between the two leads was in the forefront of my mind. I also had to look for some ballroom references, and came across a few historical-type references. I also admit the Cinderella dance was also playing around in my mind: "they're all looking at you" being the quote that comes to mind from that; the smiles, the glances, the sighs - I love it.

I also absolutely adore the scene from one of my childhood favourites: Anastasia.

Honestly, the Indila song was being blasted from my tv and I was literally holding up a glass of Cab Sauv in my loungeroom; dancing a waltz by myself in my oversized Frog and Toad Pajama top and imagined how it was going to go (how pathetic, right? 😭🤣).

EDIT TO ADD: Damon and Elena from TVD was also heavily influenced in the pining aspect

Music seriously moves me, and I love thinking in detail about how scenes would play and attempting to relay them to the best of my abilities on paper.

I love a good pine; also a good wine 🍷👌

Masterlist here for the rest of the dance series.

[luvdsc]

mark lee sucks at technology.

tap the heart if you have a big, fat, embarrassing crush on your best friend!

pairing :: lee mark x reader genre :: fluff / best friend + social influencer au word count :: 5,883 words warnings :: none playlist :: dumb stuff (lany) ⋆ feeling (coin) ⋆ so far so good (gabrielle aplin) ⋆ electric love (børns) ⋆ love by mistake (bad suns) author’s note :: i was debating if i should post it on his bday instead, but i decided to drop it earlier, so uh, happy (approx. one week early) bday to mister absolutely fully capable (except when it comes to tech stuff) !!!! thank you for blessing us with your god tier raps ♡ ↳ part of the not clickbait series.

In your required upper division business course aptly titled “Essential Marketing Strategies,” you had learned about a concept called personal brands. A personal brand is explained as the first impression a person wishes to perceive based on their own experiences, qualifications, and achievements. Your professor had told you and your classmates to pick three words to define your own brand. For instance, you chose to label yourself as charismatic, fun, and creative.

Your best friend’s brand would be awkward, endearing, and technologically challenged. 

Okay, so that is definitely more than three words, but who’s counting? You might as well tack on “Y/N’s big fat crush” at this rate because everyone and their mother knows that you carry a torch—or more accurately, a blazing wildfire that can easily be spotted from Pluto—for your best friend.

Well, to be more precise, you should probably say everyone, except Mark, knows. And that’s not for lack of trying either. You completely dropped the art of delicate subtlety months ago already. Maybe you should add “hopelessly oblivious” instead.

The rolling end credits to the sixth Harry Potter film are playing on the screen in front of you, signaling the nearing end of your magical movie marathon. You’re seated on the worn down couch in Mark and Donghyuck’s shared apartment, watching the former make his drink with the fancy, gently used Keurig newly settled on the scratched countertop. Johnny dropped it off a few days ago because he had splurged on a better coffee machine (“It even makes Instagram worthy whipped frappuccinos!”) and didn’t want his old, but still perfectly functioning caffeine provider going to waste.

“What’s wrong with this thing?” Mark slaps the side of the machine, and it starts to emit a low whirring noise. “Oh, that’s good, right? That sound is good, you think?”

His question is immediately answered by the sad squirt of hot water speckled with coffee grinds falling into his mug for a few seconds before the machine shuts off.

“What the hell?” he mutters angrily, carding his hand through his hair in frustration, and you finally decide to take pity on your best friend. Getting up from the comfy spot you know you sadly won’t be able to recreate perfectly again later, you stride over to where your best friend stands and flip open the top of the Keurig.

“Hyuck didn’t take out his used coffee pod,” you say, pulling out the incriminating evidence of your best friend’s roommate and disposing it in the trash can next to the refrigerator. “Where’s the espresso one you’re gonna use? Why didn’t you put that in?”

His jaw slackens, and he sheepishly rubs the back of his neck, avoiding your gaze and mumbling, “I thought I’d just open it later and pour it into my hot water.”

“Mark,” you start, placing your hands on his shoulders firmly and staring into his eyes with a serious look on your face. “Please know that I’m saying this in the most loving way possible, but you are an absolute idiot.”

You release your grip on his shoulders and grab the espresso pod dangling from his fingertips before slotting it into the Keurig. You remove the mug he placed underneath the spout and wash out the accidental coffee water before placing it back in its original position and pressing the start button on the machine. With a sigh, you lean against the side of the counter, glancing at your friend who looks like a child being scolded for stealing from the cookie jar.

“If you pour the pod into your mug, are you just going to chug all the loose coffee grinds, too?”

“... I didn’t think that far ahead.” His lips start to unintentionally form a tiny pout, and your eyes (and your heart, too) soften.

You’re very relieved that Donghyuck is off filming with your friend because he definitely would be making fun of your heart eyes that frequently make an appearance around a certain Mark Lee. Which you always deny. Because you certainly do not have a gigantic crush on your technologically inept best friend.

You glance over at him again and have to physically fight yourself to resist the urge to kiss his cute pout away. Okay, so maybe you harbor a very respectable, medium sized crush. But it's no big deal. It’s completely under control. Unless you’re counting the fact that your best friend is still unaware, and you’re running out of ideas to try and see if he likes you back before you actually shoot your shot. Then it’s very much not under control because you’re losing sleep over it and you don’t know what to do to be any more obvious without stating the, well, obvious.

“Well, now you know. If you forget, you can FaceTime me and I’ll give you instructions on how it works.” You pat his shoulder reassuringly before pausing. “Wait, you do know how to FaceTime, right?”

“Yes!” he exclaims, sulking even more before confessing in a quieter, defeated tone, “Hyuck showed me last month.”

Mark grabs his finished drink and follows behind you, settling back onto the couch next to you. The streaming service already has Deathly Hallows Part 1 in the queue and ready to go, and your best friend is ready to click play until he notices your attention being focused on the smaller screen in your hands. He wonders if you’re about to post another one of your popular cooking videos on that app that shares a name with the most iconic song of the 2000s (hint: the name of the song’s singer is made up of four letters and a dollar sign).

“Are you uploading one of your videos?” he implores before taking a sip of his drink with a satisfied smile. Somehow, it always tastes better when you make it, and he can’t figure out why for the life of him. When he went to Johnny’s place, his older friend uses the exact same pod and water ratio for his espresso, and yet, it’s never as good as yours.

“Nah, I’m ordering my grocery delivery before I forget. Do you want anything?” You select the option to load your usual grocery items into your cart before debating on whether or not you should splurge on buying several packages of those seasonal Pillsbury sugar cookies that only come in stock during certain holidays. It seems like such an insult to the entire premise of your Tiktok account based on baking and cooking, but you’re an absolute sucker for those soft pastries.

“Yeah, can you get me a Shin Ramyun ten pack? Hyuck ate the last one two days ago and didn’t tell me.”

“You sure you don’t want ten boxes again?” You decide to get those Pillsbury sugary delights, happily adding three boxes to your cart. Everybody has a weakness, and yours just so happens to be a premade one way ticket to diabetes. You’re here for a good, delicious time, not a long time.

“No! That was an accident!” He objects, flailing his hands around, before falling back against the couch cushions in defeat. “But Hyuck does all the online grocery shopping now.”

“Thank god. You guys finally have quality toilet paper again.”

The past month of bathroom occurrences was plagued with scratchy tissue that felt more like goddamn sandpaper from the horrible depths of hell. To be honest, you probably would have rather used actual sandpaper, given the choice. You even made sure not to drink too much water any time you came over, but today, you decided to splurge on a venti passion fruit iced tea with sweetener from that very popular franchise sporting a mermaid logo and fiscally cosmic name. To your pleasant surprise, your trip to the toilet this time was wonderfully padded with Charmin Ultra Soft, not that absolutely awful off brand one with the gross texture of a dried pinecone from inferno.

“Hey, that toilet paper was a good steal! It was a three for one deal,” Mark protests, and you narrow your eyes at him.

“Wow, I wonder why it was priced so low.” You deadpan, and Mark blanches, recalling all those restroom incidents that were rather rough. Literally.

“Anyway, do you think my viewers wanna see me make chocolate crinkle cookies or mochi doughnuts?” You bring up the two recipes you managed to perfect and add your own spin to on your phone, eyes scanning the ingredient lists.

“Both. And tell me when you’re making them, so I can come over and eat them.” He gives you a wide grin, and you let out a snort at that. His smile only grows as he says happily, “I love your job.”

“You only love it because you can freeload off of me,” you jest, but nevertheless begin to start to add all the ingredients for both recipes to your shopping cart. You always film cooking videos on Tuesdays, edit on Wednesdays, keep Thursdays free for last minute touch ups and emergencies, and post one every week on Fridays with other various random videos uploaded whenever in between. With that in mind, you schedule your upcoming grocery delivery for Monday.

“Hey, you need me. I’m the best taste tester.” He puffs up his chest proudly before hastily tacking on a more genuine reason. “And because I’d starve without you. I can’t live off of instant ramen and frozen chicken nuggets forever. Gordon Ramsay already confirmed my shitty cooking skills. I need you to survive.”

“Oh my god, when I uploaded those pics of your scrambled eggs on Twitter, I lost like a hundred followers in less than a minute.” You confirm the delivery and place your phone on the coffee table, picking up the opened bag of Cheeto puffs before settling back in your seat. “My cooking credibility was completely shot. I had to explain to my fans that I didn’t make those.”

“Yeah, but now everyone calls me Eggy Boi online!” he whines, and you laugh. You have to admit, it’s quite a funny play on the whole “edgy boi” terminology. You wonder if Mark will find it amusing if he discovers his roommate is the culprit behind his new online persona (He probably won’t, and you reckon Donghyuck enjoys living in a safe space where he doesn’t have to sleep with one eye open, so you stay quiet about it. You’ll use it as leverage some other time).

“Okay, Eggy Boi, come by on Tuesday because I’ll be baking in the afternoon,” you say casually, grabbing the remote control from your best friend and pressing play. 

You very narrowly avoid a green gummy bear to the face. It lands somewhere behind the couch, lost forever to the dust bunnies and other snacks that missed its target. You know for a fact that it’ll stay there until the boys decide to move to a new apartment. Mark grumbles at the miss, biting off the head of a red cherry flavored gummy bear perhaps a little harder than necessary.

“I hate you. But I’m still coming over next week because I want a doughnut.”

“No cookie?”

“... and a cookie. Maybe two.”

Wednesday comes faster than you expected, and you’re currently holed up in your apartment’s second bedroom—which you had transformed into a snazzy office space—completing the edits to your second video on mochi doughnuts. You already finished polishing the one about the cookies earlier, thank goodness. If you had to stare at your computer screen for another three hours, you would rather eat those pastries Mark tried to make two months ago, but had mistaken salt for sugar. Adding a cup of salt to any baked good is an extremely effective way to make anyone who tasted your best friend’s brownies experience a trip to the beach. Because they essentially just swallowed a mouthful of sand and ocean water. Because it’s salty as heck. Just like Mark was when you told him.

Speaking of your best friend, he’s currently puttering around in your kitchen doing god knows what. He knows better than to try another recipe and possibly blow up your number one moneymaker—your prized oven—in the process. Your heart nearly drops when your ears pick up the faint chopping sounds of a knife against your wooden cutting board. Is he going to try to temper chocolate again? He nearly burned through your entire stock of dark, milk, and white chocolate last time.

After much contemplation and deciding that you deserve a good procrastination break and a fully intact kitchen, you’re about to go out and see what he’s up to when Mark timidly appears in your doorway, clutching onto a white bowl of watermelon cubes with a fork tucked neatly in it. He shuffles in, dropping the snack on your desk before turning to walk out without a word, not wanting to disturb your work mode. 

Your heart warms up at the sight, and you speak up, a small smile slipping into your face. “What’s this for?”

“Knowing you, you probably haven’t eaten anything since breakfast.” He pauses in the doorway and adds on sheepishly, “And I can't cook anything, so this is what you get.”

Your heart swells tenfold, and your smile widens even more as you spear a piece of fruit with the fork and quickly pop it into your mouth. “Thanks, Marky.”

His cheeks flush with a pretty shade of carmine, and he fails to suppress the little giddy smile that appears on his face at your nickname for him. He walks out of your office, reddened cheeks still rising up higher than ever. “Y-Yeah, of course. No problem.”

By the time you finish adding the final few touches to your edited video, the bowl of watermelon has been picked clean. You save your video and transfer both of your completed projects to your phone, making a mental note to schedule their uploads and add them to your account’s posting queue later. Shoving your phone in the pocket of your sweats after ensuring the successful transfer of your videos, you pick up the empty dish and walk out towards the kitchen, the silver fork clinking against the side of the bowl with every step.

As you wash the dish and utensil, Mark wanders over from his spot on the couch, leaning forward and casually placing his chin on your shoulder. Almost instantaneously, you feel the heat rising to your cheeks as you briefly fantasize about your best friend wrapping his arms around your waist and how domestic and sweet the two of you would look, like one of those cheesy couples the two of you always made fun of.

“What’s up?” you ask, making a conscious effort to hold your voice steady and not waver over the fact that Mark is basically draped over you. After you place the dish on the drying rack, you turn around to face your best friend, sorely miscalculating the distance as mere inches separate your face from his now.

“I—” Puberty decides to make an ugly appearance in the form of an ill timed voice crack, and he internally curses as he takes a step back, willing the incoming blush to go away. Letting out a small cough, he tries again, scratching the back of his neck nervously.

“I, um, Jisung sent me some kind of dance video. He said it’s a challenge? I kinda don’t know what to do with it? Like do I make a new dance, record myself, and send it back? Actually, isn't it easier to just do a dance battle face to face?”

“Can I see the video?” You already have a good idea on what the video will be, but you want to confirm it. Mark fumbles with his phone, pulling up the video in his text messages. He angles the phone towards you for you to see, and you grab his hand, bringing the device a little closer to you for a better look and clicking play.

“Oh, it’s a Tiktok challenge! He’s doing the Say So dance!” you exclaim, recognizing the song almost immediately as your eyes follow the fluid dance moves, completely enthralled. “So a challenge isn’t going up against someone, like a battle. It’s just some kind of trend or concept that you try to copy yourself. You’re supposed to learn the same dance and record yourself for this one. I can show you some other challenges and help you practice and record this one tomorrow if you wanna drop by after work!”

“O-Oh, okay, sounds good.” Mark stumbles over his words, attempting to focus on what you’re saying and the dance Jisung is doing, but all he can think about is the way your body is pressed against his side, hand comfortably wrapped around his. He freezes up as the tips of his ears grow redder and redder with every passing second, and his face sports a similar color. He silently prays for the telltale crimson to go away by the time the dance is over.

When the video ends, you once again realize the close proximity between you and your best friend. Your face burns at this revelation, and you awkwardly take a step back. Clearing your throat, you hastily release Mark’s hand (He inaudibly lets out the breath he’s been holding in this entire time, yet he also already misses the way your hand felt grasping his).

“Uh, anyway, I’m gonna make a latte. Do you want a drink, too?” You walk towards the other side of your kitchen with Mark trailing behind you. You take out a floral, peachy colored mug from your cupboards before pausing and looking at your best friend. “Wait, do you remember how to use a Keurig?”

“Yes!” He says, slightly exasperated as he picks out his own cup from your cabinet. He always uses the same one—a cerulean blue mug with squiggles all over it—and all of your friends and guests know not to use it because it’s unofficially officially Mark’s mug (And perhaps, you did indeed buy it from that overpriced kitschy tableware shop down the street two years ago with your best friend in mind).

“Really?” You select the latte option and press start after you had already positioned the mug beneath the spout and inserted a green tea matcha pod. He finally relents, shoulders sagging and a defeated expression on his face.

“... No.”

You chuckle, taking the mug from him and carefully putting it on the counter. You grab the espresso pod you know he likes from the drawer below and place it next to the cup. “It’s okay, I’ll teach you again.”

Mark tries. He really does. He tries very hard to concentrate on memorizing the simple process, but he keeps getting distracted. His eyes are focused on the correct button to push before they start to trail up to your fingertips. And then, they go from your hand to your arm, then up to the elegant curve of your neck, and finally, to the way your lashes frame your pretty eyes and how the tip of your tongue sticks out slightly as you concentrate until all he can focus on is you, you, you.

Suddenly, in what feels like a blink of an eye, you’re done and handing him his finished drink, complete with a perfectly whipped milk foam on top. You ask him if he knows how to make it now, and all he can do is lie and nod with a barely convincing smile.

After all, how can Mark tell his best friend that the reason he never remembers is because you’re the biggest distraction?

Mark should be here in five minutes, according to his most recent text message. And in the text message below that, your friend had sent you a challenge. More specifically, it’s the one she completed with Donghyuck a few weeks ago. When you said you wanted bold suggestions on how to figure out if your best friend feels the same way about you as you do about him, you didn’t want one this bold. 

Yet, the video link to your friend’s “today I kissed my best friend” challenge along with a winky face from her is staring mockingly at you. While you aren’t one to back down from a challenge, the mere thought of kissing your best friend causes vast colonies of butterflies to erupt in your stomach and your ears to feel as if they have caught on fire. You’re already tongue tied with your head in the clouds, and he isn’t even here yet. How utterly fantastic.

However, your mother definitely did not raise a quitter, so you spring into action when you hear the faint jingling of a key being inserted into your apartment’s door (You had given Mark a copy of your key almost immediately after you had moved in). You move the pretty indoor fern given to you by Jaemin as a housewarming gift last year closer to the edge of your towering bookcase, leaning your phone against it. You quickly position the device to capture a good view of the couch area in your living room and press the record button, arranging a few of the leaves to hide as much of your phone as you possibly can without obstructing the lens.

You run full speed to your bedroom, letting out a sigh of relief when you’re safely inside and hear Mark finally unlocking the door successfully and shuffling in. When he calls out to you, you try to even out your breathing, walking out of your room with your tripod and laptop in hand.

“Hey,” you greet him in the most casual tone you can muster. You place the tripod down and sit before opening your laptop and setting it on the coffee table. “I thought we could watch a few challenges for fun before trying the Say So one. Have you watched Jisung’s videos before?”

“Um, well, no, not really,” he confesses sheepishly, taking a seat next to you on the couch, leg pressing against yours. He squints at the YouTube video you pulled up earlier before he had arrived, reading the title before clicking the space button to start it. “Savage Tiktok dance compilation part two?”

“Wait, hold up.” You pause the video and then turn to face him with an incredulous expression on your face. “You’ve never watched any of Jisung’s dance Tiktoks?”

“No… I don’t even have an account.” His cheeks are dusted with the lightest shade of pink as he quietly admits, “I watch all of yours though.”

Your eyes widen at his confession, face heating up as you stammer out, “O-Oh, well, I can help you make an account later to upload your video.”

“Sounds good.” There’s a few seconds of silence as you mull over his previous words before he speaks up again awkwardly, “Should I, uh, play the video?”

“Oh! Yes, right! Of course, hit play,” you laugh nervously, twisting and playing with the hair tie around your wrist. He starts the video again, and the two of you watch the compilation, slowly relaxing once more as you tap your fingers to the rhythm of the song and he bobs his head to the beat.

“Do I have to change outfits like that?” he questions a few minutes later, eyes growing round as he sees the girl on the screen switch between four different outfits throughout the dance. His closet basically consists of the same five black shirts that he stole from Jaehyun. Even if he did do an outfit swap, there would literally be no difference at all.

“You don’t have to,” you assure him, clicking the enter key to play the next video that’s recommended: another Tiktok dance challenge compilation. “All you have to do is copy the dance.”

Mark nods, taking a glance at the laptop screen before his hand shoots out and he pauses the video, leaning forward to take a closer look at the little recommended video title banner at the top. “Wait! What’s that one?”

He clicks on it, the new video now loading up. The two of you wait patiently for it to begin, waiting for the spinning disc to stop. But it doesn’t. In fact, the whole chrome page goes blank and then, the little pixelated Google Chrome dinosaur pops up on your monitor, announcing that you have no internet connection. Furrowing your eyebrows, you try to reload the page before trying to re-establish your laptop connection to your wifi. Unfortunately, you cannot find your appropriately named “drop it like it’s hotspot” wifi anywhere to connect to.

And that’s when it hits you. Your landlord had sent out a notice to the entire apartment complex last week about the electricity being powered down today from 4 to 6 p.m. for a maintenance check, and a quick glance at the digital clock on your laptop shows that it’s a little past four.

You groan, closing your laptop and flopping back against the couch cushions dramatically. Mark cocks his head, slightly confused, before he pokes you in the arm. “What’s wrong?”

“I completely forgot about the scheduled electricity shutdown for the entire building. We won’t have any wifi for the next two hours.” You pout, your bottom lip jutting out in the slightest, and Mark doesn’t think it’s fair that you get to be this cute and have this much of an effect on his racing heart rate.

“That’s okay, we can… play some board games?” he suggests offhandedly, pushing away the embarrassing thought and nudging your leg with his, and you smile before a sudden idea occurs to you. 

“Or we can still do some Tiktok challenges! What was the challenge you clicked on?” You quickly sit upright, turning to face your best friend, eyes sparkling in excitement. “I memorized a few of the dance ones already! Was it Renegade? I can teach you that one. Jisung showed me how to do it.”

“Um,” he starts, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. His eyes dart everywhere, except you, as he lets out a feigned cough. “It wasn’t a dance one. It was about, uh, going up to your boyfriend… and um, hugging him... when he’s playing video games.”

“Oh.” You answer lamely, not knowing what to say. You unsuccessfully try to push away the image of you attempting that challenge with your best friend. “Those are really cute.”

“Really?” He says doubtfully, wrinkling his eyebrows and fiddling with the frayed sleeve of his sweater. “Wouldn’t the dude get mad?”

You don’t know what suddenly possessed you to do this (you’ll have to ask Renjun and his paranormal loving ass later), but you thank whatever demon did for that split second because you find yourself gently grabbing Mark’s arm and slipping your head underneath it. You swing one leg over his lap and settle down until you’re securely sitting in his lap, bent legs on either side of his hips, hands curled around the soft fabric of his sweater on both sides and resting on top of your thighs. His arms instinctively go around your waist, wrapping around you securely.

You tilt your head to the side slightly, studying the flustered boy in front of you with a teasing, albeit a little anxious, smile on your lips. “Are you feeling mad?”

Splotches of red litter his cheeks and decorate the tips of his ears, but your best friend furiously shakes his head at your question, bashfully ducking his head afterwards and muttering a soft “No.”

You swallow hard, heart pounding erratically in your chest as you timidly ask, “Would you be mad if I do this?”

Mark looks up at that, confusion written all over his face. His arms start to loosen around your figure, hands now resting on your waist. “If you do what?”

You take a deep breath. “This.”

You lean in and gently press your lips against his. Mark freezes in shock, and you quickly retreat soon after, gnawing at the inside of your cheek as you wait anxiously for his reaction. Your heart feels like it’s about to fall out of your chest and be buried six feet under.

A tiny noise of surprise belatedly escapes from him and crimson spreads across his cheeks like wildfire. His doe eyes are wide and sparkling, staring at you in bewilderment. Your best friend lets out a small laugh of disbelief before a full blown smile breaks out across his face. He gazes at you adoringly, breathing out softly, “I’m not mad at that.”

You perk up at that, draping your arms around his neck as you lean forward, beaming. “Really? You’re not?”

“Definitely not.”

This time, Mark meets you halfway, his lips slotting against yours perfectly and making you feel tingles up and down your spine. Your eyes are closed, and you are so hyper aware of the way his hands grip your hips, how he tugs you closer, and how his lips chase after yours. The number of butterflies from earlier multiply in your stomach, and you have ascended past cloud nine by now.

When the two of you break apart, your eyes flutter open, and you nudge your nose against his affectionately. The brightest grin blooms on his face once again, and he buries his face in the crook of your neck, muffling his little giggles and hiding the awfully vibrant cerise that rapidly blossoms on his face.

“Is this a good time to tell you congrats for completing your first challenge?” you say, resting your cheek against the crown of his head. You pull away when he lifts his head up, surprised.

“I wasn’t playing video games though,” he says slowly, processing your words and thinking back to the challenge that started this all.

“It was a different challenge. It’s the one that Hyuck did a few weeks ago,” you confess, and realization dawns on him, his face lighting up for a split second before a look of horror takes over.

“Oh, no. Is that why you had your phone recording on the bookshelf?” Mark asks, dread beginning to cloud his mind.

“Yes…” you say slowly, a little perplexed. “Why? What’s wrong?”

“Oh my god, I ruined your video,” he moans, dropping his forehead onto your shoulder. “I saw your phone when I walked in and thought you were filming earlier and forgot to turn it off, so I turned it off for you.”

When the words finally register in your mind, you can’t stop the laughter from bubbling out of your throat, and he raises his head up to look at you with wide doe eyes at the pretty sound. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to!”

You can’t stop laughing at the situation, and he looks at you worriedly, gnawing on his bottom lip slightly. You force yourself to calm down, a soft chuckle leaving your lips before you beam at him, leaning in and placing the softest kiss on the tip of his nose. “It’s okay, Mark. I’m not mad. That video wasn’t important anyway.”

“But still,” he whines before letting out a groan and slapping his hand against his forehead when the realization sinks in even further. “I’m such an idiot.”

“But you’re my idiot now, right?” you say teasingly, albeit a little shyly as well, as you reach over to tug his hand away from his face and lace your fingers with his.

“I mean, I kinda thought I was always your idiot,” Mark laughs softly and a little embarrassedly, eyes averted and cheeks turning pinker than ever. The largest grin spreads across your face at that, and you turn away slightly to hide it. You didn’t think your best friend can possibly be any more endearing, but he manages to prove you wrong every time.

“Well, then now you can add ‘Y/N’s boyfriend’ to your resume,” you say, and he fails to suppress the pleased smile appearing on his face at your remark, his rosy cheeks rising even taller than skyscrapers.

“So, uh, what sort of job description does that have?” He gazes at your intertwined hands in wonder, still completely giddy at the reality of you being his best friend and something more.

“Sharing hoodies, giving me attention, kissing, holding my hand, going on dates, you know, the basics,” you answer, squeezing his hand tenderly, and his doe eyes instantly light up. Mark feels a little bolder than before, and it shows when he grins widely and says:

“Can we do number three again?”

“Yes, we can, Eggy Boi.”

He wrinkles his nose at the name, disgruntled and unimpressed, as he crosses his arms over his chest, sulking. You let out a laugh before leaning in and crashing your lips against his. He immediately relents at that, enthusiastically responding and hugging you closer to him, and you can’t help but smile into the kiss as you feel his own smile appear as well.

At that moment, you decide that you want to change Mark’s personal brand. Because his should be “absolutely wonderful, positively amazing, a cute kisser, your boyfriend, and your bestest friend.” And yes, that is most definitely more than the allotted three words, but again, who’s really counting?

Certainly not you when you’re too preoccupied with kissing your best friend. Correction: best friend and new boyfriend.

One new notification: donutkillmyvibe uploaded a new video!

moominjun commented:

so you’re saying the reason why we didn’t get the highly anticipated best friend challenge video is because @ marklyrawr turned the camera off?

donutkillmyvibe replied: yes 😔 I’m sorry to disappoint everyone 🤧

nanaislove replied: omg no bby it’s ok 🥺🥺💞💓💓💝💗 you didn’t have to make an apology video for that 🥺💗💓💘💖

goofys.chuckle replied: yeah it’s mark’s fault. he’s the disappointment here 🥴

morklyrawr replied: hahahahaha stfu hyuck

tytrack commented:

mark is going through puberty. I apologize

dobunny replied: @.@

goofys.chuckle commented:

are we getting whip(ped)lash pt 2 by eggy boi?

morklyrawr replied: YOU’RE THE ONE WHO STARTED THAT NAME?????

goofys.chuckle replied: uh gotta blast 🚀

showmethemonet replied: @ goofys.chuckle does this mean you’re staying over again?

goofys.chuckle replied: @ showmethemonet yes if you want your super cute, mega talented, very handsome boyfriend to still be alive 🥺

showmethemonet replied: @ goofys.chuckle oh my god I didn’t know I was dating bts jin???

moominjun replied: LMFAOOOOO

goofys.chuckle replied: heart 💔 been broke 📉 so many times ⏰ i don’t know 🤔 what to believe 💯 mama 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 said 🗣 it’s my fault 😢 it’s my fault 🤦🏻‍♂️i wear my heart ❤️ on my sleeve 💪 i think it’s best 👍🏻 I put my heart ❤️ on ice 🧊

jenojam commented:

why am I not surprised……

itsmebetch replied: just mark thingz 🍉

suhprisemf commented:

mark your head looks flat af

jungjaeprince replied: 😂😂😂

10vely replied: @ jungjaeprince be quiet don’t cry

letswonwon commented:

whoop whoop

junguwu commented:

OMG CONGRATS ON YOUR RELATIONSHIP SWEETIE 😍😍

takoyaki_prince commented:

MARK!!!!! you look handsome !! 😘

jisungpwark commented:

rip to @ donutkillmyvibe ’s future videos that mark will ruin. press f in the chat to pay respects 🙏🏻

bigheadking replied: F ✊🏻😔

peachyangel replied: f 🥺🥺

yoitslucas replied: F 🤪🤪🤪 but glad you’re happy, man ❤️

donutkillmyvibe replied: F 💔

morklyrawr replied: @ donutkillmyvibe wtf babe????

officialgordonramsay commented:

didn’t i tell you to get back on tinder ?

apado_god commented:

nice 😎👍🏻

[izumi-fanclub]

A3! Translation Chikage SR Card “SUNNY SPRING” [Harugumi Fanservice Study Group ~Chikage Edition~]

Aren’t you curious?

Citron

Live music is the best~! It is so exciting and hyping dayo!

Izumi

Citron-kun, you went to an anime song singer’s concert the other day, right?

Citron

Yes! It was a very hot live concert! Coke & Lemon Pawns were also fun!

Masumi

Call & response.

Citron

That is it!

Itaru

Cool, I was really itching to go too. You could just drop by on weekdays any time you like, talk about unbeatable……

Chikage

If you wanted to go so much, you could’ve just taken a paid leave.

Itaru

That’s like, trying to casually pull out a legendary sword out of a stone.

Sakuya

The venue was built by MIZUNO Enterprises in the next town over.

Citron

That is right. It is newly built, and the audience seats were very comfortable!

Tsuzuru

We were on stage at the opening of that venue, right? *

Even though we had the power of Mizuno on our side, I still can’t believe it.

Itaru

That stage really was different from our usual one. It’s pretty refreshing.

Izumi

The re-viewing performance we did before and the White Day Live were both very received……

We often get requests for live performances.

Maybe we’ll have another chance to hold another live together, maybe.

Citron

Yes! I also want to do it!

Sakuya

If that happens, I’ll have to work on my singing again!

Tsuzuru

It also helps when you’re onstage in a musical.

And as an actor, there’s nothing better than being able to sing.

Citron

Of course, singing is important, but that is not all there is to it!

Masumi

More than just the song?

Citron

The fanservice, of course!

I went to the concert as a spectator, I felt the importance of fan support again.

Chikage

Sakyo-san would always tell us to say things like “I would like to thank my fans at….” to thank them for their support.

Citron

Yes! That is why we need to study more about fanservice.

Tsuzuru

You got a point there.

Sakuya

I want to convey how I feel to my fans through various fanservice!

Citron

Like the singer I saw at the concert, you will be more popular if you do stuff in a way that suits your personality while doing fanservice!

Itaru

I get what you mean, the princely type, the energetic type, the cool type and the list goes on.

Citron

Our company members all have different weapons! I am going to start researching on fanservice to take advantage of them!

Sakuya

Chikage-san also puts on a wonderful smile in front of the fans.

Citron

A mature and gentlemanly smile dayo!

Itaru

But, senpai’s also pretty bland.

Chikage

Oi, don’t give such a petty response.

Itaru

How do we add more oomph......

Ah, I got it.

Tsuzuru

I think I’ve got an idea on what it is.

Chikage

I got a bad feeling about this.

Part 2

Itaru

This is why I called you over. This is Producer Sakisaka.

Muku

N-nice to meet you!

Citron

I see, we will be under Muku Productions!

Itaru

Thanks for coming, Muku. We’re researching bout fanservice right now, we plan on using each spring troupe member’s personality to our advantage.

Muku

Wow, each one with a unique fanservice style...... that’s so cool!

Itaru

So, Muku, we wanted to ask for your help in producing a new kind of fanservice that would take advantage of senpai’s sadism.

Muku

If I can be of any help, of course I’ll help you in anything!

A handsome man who is very sadistic... I got it! Please wait a moment!

Masumi

I think he went to get something.

Tsuzuru

Muku knows a lot about shoujo manga, handsome guys and heartbreaking lines, maybe he went to get a book about it to help us.

Izumi

(Chikage-san's fanservice produced by Muku-kun, I wonder that’ll be like.)

Muku

Sorry for the wait!

How about we refer to my shoujo manga!

It’s shoujo manga that’s very popular these days, and it features a really sadistic, handsome guy from the underworld!

Izumi

Oh, I know about it!

There’s even a movie adaptation.

Muku

That’s right.

I’ve always thought that the sadistic hero Byakuran-san is a lot like Chikage-san!*

Tsuzuru

I agree, the vibe is pretty similar.

Sakuya

You’re right!

Chikage

Well, I don’t know, I’m not sure myself.

Citron

This cool bare is awesome!

Masumi

It’s glare, not bare.

Muku

And this line on page 38 of volume 5 has a buzzing great quote in it......! It’s really popular!

How about practicing this line as reference for fanservice?

Chikage

No, I.......

Itaru

If you give it a shot, you might even get some ideas for new fanservice.

Muku

This line is really cool.

I think it’ll definitely suit you, Chikage-san! Please do it...!

Tsuzuru

…... Muku, your eyes are shining.

Chikage

Sigh...... if you look at me like that, how can I not? There’s no way around this, so I’ll give it a try.

Muku

Wow, thank you!

Chikage

Is it the line on this page?

Sakuya

Do your best, Chikage-san!

Itaru

Your move, senpai.

Chikage

“Fuu...... You’re the one who made me get all serious. No matter how much you cry or whine, it won’t reach anyone.”

Chikage

“I’ll chase you to the ends of the earth. Don’t you ever think you can escape me.”

Muku

Wow......!! A heartthrob!

Sakuya

That was so cool......!

Citron

As expected of Chikage! Sadistic lines are perfect for him!

Tsuzuru

No, it’s cool, but......

Izumi

The lines hit and the vibe was perfect, but......

Itaru

Somehow, when senpai’s the one saying the line, there’s like this bloody fear for some reason.

Masumi

It’s not like shoujo manga or a live fanfic.

Itaru

Yup.

Tsuzuru

This is production is a no-go......

Story Clear!

—————T/Ns:—————-

May be referencing Mankai Company doing a live show there at the opening day (A3! White Day event story “Sing Big Thanks!”)

This might be a reference to the character ‘Byakuran’ from the Reborn! Manga/Anime series, if you read his personality section in their fan wiki, you’ll definitely get what Muku means

[hangovercurse]

Studio Nights

You and Kells spend time in the studio together.

Part ii of Losing a Friend

Colson x Reader

Warnings: cursing

A/N: the first few parts are a lot of fluff, building relationships and such but soon we’ll get into the real angst 😊 

Word Count: 1501

i < ii < iii

September 2016

You had hoped that after 3 months of hanging around the guys, you would have gotten used to their constant energy. But sitting in the studio, you realized you might never get used to it.

Lazily you spun yourself around in the rolling chair at the monitor, Kells sitting next to you with his back to the desk. “Dawg, I’m telling you, you were wasted as fuck,” his loud voice rang through your ears, making the headache you were nurturing even worse.

The boys were having a conversation about something that had gone on in the club the other night with Rook, who was arguing that it wasn’t as big of a deal as Kells was making it out to be. To be fair, Rook was that drunk, but it really wasn’t all that funny.

You tuned them out as best as possible, turning back to the computer and looking at the track again, sighing at the thought of hearing it blare through the headphones. As Slim, Baze, and Rook continued arguing, Kells turned to you.

He seemed to look right through you, taking in the bags under your eyes and the slight frown on your face. “Hey,” he spoke quietly, “you okay?”

You gave him a small nod, placing the headphones over your ears with a fake smile. His hand reached out and tugged them gently off your head. “Seriously, you look like shit.”

Rolling your eyes, you gave a monotone answer, “thanks, Kells. You sure know how to treat a lady.” You let out a dry chuckle as he continued to stare at you, a teasing pout on his face, “I’m fine, I just have a headache, it’s nothing.”

He swiveled his chair so that his front was facing your side, reaching out and turning your chair so you could be face to face. His knees bumped up against your own lightly, “we can take a break if you want, pick back up tomorrow.”

You shook your head, “I’m fine, there’s just a lot of noise right now, but it’s nothing. I just want to finish this song; we’ve been working on it for way too long now.” You tried to play off the throbbing in your brain as Slim and Baze laughed obnoxiously a few feet away from you.

He rolled his eyes, “You are the one that keeps editing it.” His tone was teasing, but you couldn’t help but agree. There was something about the track that just wasn’t right yet. “But it can wait another day, go home. Or I’ll send these fuckers home.”

You chuckled, “aren’t you guys technically at home?” He sent you an unamused look, making you pout, “look, I can’t figure out what it is, but something needs to be fixed.”

He let out a breath through his nose, imitating laughter, “I know, you keep saying that. And I trust you, but you’re not going to figure it out if you’re in a mood.”

A glare came over your features, directed at him, “I am not in a mood.” You shoved him playfully, his chair spinning slightly, “I’m just in pain. My head feels like it’s eating itself.”

“That’d make a good lyric,” he commented with a smirk, shoving you back. “Go home.”

You smacked his hand away lightly, “don’t tell me what to do. Now let me work.” You tried to turn back to the computer while placing the headphones back over your ears, but Kells just spun you back towards him.

“How about you let me listen to it for once,” his tone was playful, but you couldn’t help but gape at the audacity.

You handed him the headphones, “I have been trying to get you to do that for the past 3 hours!” He chuckled, placing the speakers over his ears, and pressing play. “Is this what it takes to get you to work? My pain?” you teased halfheartedly.

Truthfully, Kells had a way of distracting you from whatever happened to be bothering you, including your headache. It was one of the many reasons you liked being around him so much.

He nodded his head to what you assumed was the beat, making you giggle lightly. He paused the song midway, taking off the headphones and frowning. “What if we tried carrying the initial guitar riff through at that little middle part.”

You raised an eyebrow, turning to the computer and fidgeting with the track to add the raw guitar into the space. You didn’t notice, but you and Kells were very closely huddled around the computer.

The other guys in the room, however, did take notice. Slim elbowed Rook, pointing over in your direction as you and Kells cracked lighthearted jokes and worked on the song together.

Rook let out a chuckle that was lost on your ears as Baze quietly teased, “I give it two months, max.”

The younger boy shook his head, “hell naw, you think Kells is gonna wait that long?”

Baze flicked Rook in the head, “that’s why I said max, dumbass.”

Rook shoved the older one, starting a small war between the two of them. Slim rolled his eyes, speaking over the two’s fighting, “she’s way too smart for that, it’ll take way longer for her to come around to that.”

After another 15 minutes of you and Kells working intensely on fixing the music and the guys teasing you about how cute you were behind your backs, you could listen to a rough sample of your new and improved track.

“This is fucking fire, dude,” Kells said loudly as he listened with the headphones. You laughed at the volume, feeling better than before and giddy at the thought of having fixed the track.

Once he had finished, he placed the headphones over your ears and played the song in its entirety, your voices flowing together naturally over the music. When the revised part came, you were shocked at how much better it sounded, even if it was still just a rough edit.

You took the headphones off, beaming at him, “you are a genius.”

He teased, “so I’ve been told.” You rolled your eyes, knocking his knee with yours playfully. He shoved your shoulder softly, voice lowering, “you should go home. We can polish this part tomorrow and get it ready for a release.”

You shook your head, volume matching his “I’m fine, Kells. It’s just a headache and we’re almost finished, I can manage.”

“I’m not touching another button today and you are going home, end of story.” You whined but gave no real protest, reaching for your purse and keys. He patted you on the head mockingly, “good girl.”

You glared up at him, “call me that again, and I will hurt you.” He chuckled, standing up with you, and walking you to the door.

He called to the guys, “thanks for all the work today guys, really helpful.” His words dripped with sarcasm, making you giggle.

Slim shrugged, “looked like you two had it handled, we weren’t gonna interrupt.” Rook and Baze snickered, making you roll your eyes.

“Well, I’m out. See you guys tomorrow.” You threw up a peace sign to the men.

Baze checked his phone, “are you sure you want to drive this late? It’s almost 3 am.”

You sighed, realizing he was right. A pout fell on your face as you muttered, “it’s fine, I’ll be okay.” You turned to head out the door, throwing a smile at the boys. Kells followed you out to the main area of the house, grabbing your wrist gently in the living room to stop you from leaving.

“You can stay here tonight if you want. It’d probably be better anyways if you still feel bad.”

His gentle touch on your arm seemed to send a soft feeling throughout your body, something unfamiliar to you. You shook it off, giving him a small smile. As much as you knew you probably should stay, you needed to get out of this house before any other unexplained feelings arose. “Thanks, Kells, but I’ll be fine. I live all of 10 minutes away.”

He shrugged, acting nonchalant, “fine, just text us when you get home.”

You rolled your eyes, walking to the front door, “okay, Dad.”

He chuckled, “shut up, loser.” You flicked him off playfully as you left, the door closing behind you.

Mere moments after you left he heard three laughs from behind him, “oh Y/N! Please stay the night with us.” Rook mocked an overly dramatic Kells impression.

Baze continued with a “I’ll do anything for you Y/N, I’m just so in love with you!”

Slim shook his head, walking over and clapping his best friend on the back, “ignore them.” He said, “we all know you’ll confess to her in your own time.”

Kells scoffed, an eyebrow raised, “I am not in love with Y/N. She’s just a friend. A better one than you three.”

The boys laughed and rolled their eyes, “okay,” Rook said, unconvinced.

tag list: 

@bakerkells​ @elviablo​​ @iambashfulperson​ @sunflowerbebe107​ @crystalbaby12​ @stormrider505​ @ticketstomydaydreams​ @mvrylee​ @daddyavesxx​​ @pettyvxbes​ @prettydreamboy​

[bbugyu]

if you wanted to go to the moon, he would take you there.

plot twist | crash zoom | happy ending

16.1k (lol) | joshua x afab enby!reader, fluff, humor, suggestive, reader is ace lol, youtuber au, chef au, swearing, drinking, detailed descriptions of meals, mentions of past trauma including sexual assault, i swear it's not that deep, lots of implied sex but none on screen (yet), watching movies and playing video games, yes i am trying to set up all my friends, would anyone get it if i said r&r

welcome to part two of classic!! please enjoy this tooth rotting relationship garbo in which i basically announce to the world that i have a disgusting crush on joshua. posting this later than intended but i started working five tens so i'm 😅 a little tired lol. but joshua makes it ok <3

when you mentioned offhandedly that you had never had bibimbap in jeonju, joshua practically dropped the groceries he was helping you bring up the elevator.

"how long have you been in korea?" he asked.

you looked at him, wide eyed. "four years?"

he squinted at you, jutting his jaw out. "and you've never gone to jeonju? it's, like, the food hub of korea. how the hell?"

"i…" you laughed, exiting the elevator when the doors opened. "i don't know? it's never been top priority, i guess?"

"okay, well it is now," he stated plainly, following you to your door while you adjusted your bags in your hands to punch in the code. as soon as the groceries were safely on your counter, he pulled out his phone. "friday to sunday?"

you looked up from the vegetables in your hands. "what?"

he looked at you. "we're going. this weekend? i need to reserve the ktx tickets."

you laughed. "this weekend? joshua, it's wednesday."

"okay, next weekend?"

you stared at him a second, purely because you were in disbelief. "no, i have a demonstration next saturday."

he exhaled, looking at the calendar on his phone. "okay, and jamie's birthday party is the weekend after, so," he paused, looking at you through his lashes. "this weekend?"

you pushed your hands onto the counter and sighed heavily. "when would we leave?"

he grinned, knowing that meant he had won you over. "after i get off work? i can be here by 3:30."

"how long is the train?"

"uhh," he quickly searched for the tickets. "two hours. less than. we can buy snacks for the ride and have dinner when we get there."

you chewed your lip. "i have to edit on sunday, so we can't stay all day."

he nodded, inspecting the time table for tickets. "stay two nights, leave after breakfast?"

you considered that for a second. "i could bring my laptop and export footage on the train."

a smile crept across his face when you puffed out your cheeks in thought. "is that a yes?"

your cheeks deflated as you exhaled. "fine."

"yeah?" joshua grinned at you, wrapping his arms around your shoulders and tugging you into his chest. "jeonju this weekend?"

you exhaled again, your arms reluctantly winding around his torso. "yeah. jeonju this weekend."

"you're gonna love it," he said, pressing his lips against your temple. "i helped on an article about hole in the wall finds there years ago, so i know all the good spots."

you giggled, pulling away to look at him with a quirked eyebrow. "you used to write for the magazine?"

he shook his head at you. "when i was interning."

"aw," you poked at his cheek. "intern joshie?"

he rolled his eyes, separating himself from you as you giggled, and he looked at you slyly from the corner of his eye. "joshie?"

you grinned, reaching out to pinch his cheeks. "joshie!"

he laughed and batted away your hands. "joshie?"

you: i think i'm finally packed

joshie: i don't understand why it was so difficult when we're going for Two Days.

you: 😡

joshie: 😘

as promised, he arrived at your apartment in a cab and stubbornly took your roller suitcase despite your insistence that you could handle it. joshua was always doing things like this - for you, you imagined, he would probably even lay down his jacket in a puddle so you wouldn't have to walk through it. but at the same time, he wouldn't fault you for kicking his jacket aside and purposefully jumping in it instead. he would probably join you, even.

he had joked with you that this would be like a work trip for you, but only because he was the one that suggested you film - plus, he reminded you, filming a full video this weekend meant that you didn't have to film next week. and to be perfectly frank, you wanted the break. if you could have a weekend getaway with joshua and then a week long break to have a normal routine without a camera, it was a win-win.

equipped with coffee and cafe sandwiches, you casually kicked your feet and happily sipped at your americano as you edited a picture of it for your instagram story. joshua sat beside you, also doing something on his phone, and you watched him with no intention as he pulled his airpods out of his coat jacket and offered one to you. you looked at him, smiling when he gestured with the open case again.

"i made a playlist," he said quietly as you put the airpod into your ear. he took the one you left and did the same, tapping on his phone.

the thought of joshua hearing a song and thinking of you making your chest flutter to life, the heat rising through you until you were left in a comfortable glow, smiling softly at him as a melody started in your ear. he looked back at you, double taking slightly when he realized you were looking at him.

"what's that look for?" he asked, a sideways grin breaking his face in half.

you shook your head, unable to change your face. "that's, just... really nice."

"making a playlist?" he hummed, settling back in his seat as you stuck your straw between your lips. "i didn't consciously do it. i just started a list of songs to show you because i thought you would like them, and this ended up being a good time to share it."

you sighed dramatically, falling back against the window of the train. "that's even nicer, you dickhead!" he laughed, shushing you and looking around, worried someone might have understood your slightly-above-inside-voice exclamation. "i know for a fact i didn't do anything to deserve the sweetest, handsomest, loveliest boyfriend on the planet, so what's the catch, mr. hong?"

his eyes went to the ceiling as he thought, kneading his lips once before saying, "i think you forgot funniest, too."

"ah," you said, a dry chuckle following the realization. "that's the catch."

"hey!" he laughed, eyes big as he pretended to be offended. "i know i'm funny!"

you giggled with him, mentally noting that you liked the song that he was playing. that he must have somehow picked up on why you liked the music you did. you thought about how you had the same thought, sometimes, when you were listening to music alone in your room and a song popped up on your discovery that sounded like something he would listen to. how you would immediately text them to him, knowing you would forget if you didn't send it right away, and he would react with some assortment of positive emojis. how he must have been doing the same thing, but wanted to be there when you heard them, and didn't have the same flighty memory as you. you brought your straw to your lips again, staring after him as he adjusted something in his bag, taking too long to refocus your attention to story you had been trying to post.

he later nudged you, getting your attention as you responded to an email on your phone, gesturing his finger with the melody, and you gave him a childlike look of awe, as if to tell him that yes, you agreed, this was exactly the kind of run you really enjoyed. he pounded a fist against his knee at the beats, pointing up at the key change, and you exploded into a stifled laugh, your palm covering your mouth. he laughed with you before he showed you the now playing page on his phone, holding it open dutifully as you quickly searched for it to add to your own library.

as promised, joshua provided great insight for the food tour the two of you set out on. travel day, he had told you, meant that you would have something easy - bibimbap and makgeolli at two of the best places he knew, apparently. by the time you made it back to the hotel room you had checked into before headed to the bar, you just about collapsed onto the queen bed.

"i'm so full," you exhaled, eyes dancing across the ceiling. "i'm never gonna move again."

joshua just laughed at you, toeing both of your shoes aside at the door before shuffling into slippers. "we have a full day of eating tomorrow, so you better move."

you let our a breathy laugh, rolling your head to watch as he flopped onto the bed beside you. "i'm glad you also plan trips around the meals."

he gave you a puzzled look. "is there another way to plan a trip?"

you rolled onto your side, tucking your arm under your head to look at him. "some people like sightseeing. or activities."

his brows were still ruffled in confusion as he looked away from you. "i like looking at food. and the activity of eating food."

you giggled, and his face finally broke to reveal the bewilderment had been a bit all along, his smiling laugh meeting yours.

you walked a lot the next day, and you were grateful for the light exercise to help your digestion a bit between meals. the local famous kalguksu for breakfast, a visit to a cafe for coffee before walking down a historical street together. you filmed with a smile on your face, shaking your americano for camera with a colorful background, just for you to pull down the drink and let the beautiful buildings and trees take the focus.

joshua could watch you forever, he was pretty sure. watching you conceptualise what you wanted this out of the ordinary video to look like, seeing the way you managed to be present with him, joking and giggling on your scenic walk, but squeezed his hand in warning before letting go, telling him quietly you wanted to get a shot. he had seen the way you filmed food, and how you filmed your kitchen, which was incredible in its own right, but this was the first time he got to see your process on the fly. when you went to work, as it were, taking in your scenery and deciding the way you wanted to portray it - more thought went into this than filming at the same barbeque restaurant for the fifth time, but joshua saw the similarities in the way your eyes twinkled when you saw something through your camera lens for the first time, even if only the first time that day. the way you would review the footage quickly, smiling at the way it turned out, but announcing that you were taking a second shot for safety.

then, he took you to another restaurant.

you barely noticed the passage of time, but when he conveniently "happened" upon the next stop on your food tour, you were pretty sure your stomach growled at the thought of eating an insane amount of dumplings, and you smiled at him in a way that made him want to cause it constantly.

if having your pick at dumplings was enough to make you giddy like a child, the night market was life altering. the food stalls were set up like they always were friday and saturday nights, joshua told you, and that meant you got to experience korean street food in a way you hadn't yet. you found the best pad thai you had ever eaten, succumbed to the tempting smell of grilled squid when passing a busy stall, and you even got served alcohol practically in passing, the specialty liquor being offered in a way that was hard for either of you to say no to. after a few too many, you had to stop joshua before he dragged you to a choco pie stall.

"we should eat more first," you said, gesturing to a woman making hashbrowns on a griddle. "while we have free hands. loop back around for dessert and buy some for the road."

joshua tapped his nose, then wagged his finger at you. "smart and hot."

you laughed, pulling him towards the hashbrown stall.

that night, you laid in bed beside each other, talking like you hadn't just spent literally the entire day together. recalling highlights of the day, sharing related anecdotes with assorted friends and family. you didn't even want to sleep - your body did, sure, clearly, by the way it kept interrupting your conversation with yawns. joshua would laugh, then yawn in response, and tell you that you should sleep. you would shake your head, a pout on your lips, and he would just smile and keep talking about whatever the yawn had interrupted.

being in bed with joshua wasn't demanding, nor was it uncomfortable, and you were pretty sure that meant something good.

you were making curry. he had mentioned that it looked good while you were watching some show the week prior and you couldn't get it out of your head. so, even though it was midsummer and far too warm for something as hearty as japanese curry, you decided you needed to make it anyway, if only for your own peace of mind. you invited joshua over to cook dinner for him, and he asked where your camera was when he arrived with your requested potatoes (you had some, except they were older than you thought and started sprouting), but you told him you weren't filming tonight.

"this ones for us," you said matter of factly, giggling when he looked shocked. "i don't film every meal, y'know. sometimes i cook things just for me."

he watched you dump the potatoes into the sink to wash. "what if it ends up being really pretty?"

"josh," you said, looking at him. "i don't make things that aren't pretty."

he asked if you needed help with anything, but you just shook your head and told him to relax. that you had made this a million times, and that you could do it with your eyes closed. he asked again if you were sure, and you laughed, scrubbing potatoes and using your shoulder to get your hair out of your face.

"actually," you said, raising the wrist on which you kept a hair tie. "do you know how? my hands are wet."

joshua smiled and nodded, coming over and pulling the tie off your wrist, careful to not get it too wet on your hand. "how high?"

"ariana," you said, making him laugh as you giggled. "as high as you can manage, but i don't really care."

he just smiled, taking your hair in his hands as you washed the potatoes one by one, and you tried to ignore the way you heart skipped a beat when you felt his touch drift across the back of your neck. he gently gathered it all in one palm at the crown of your skull, brushing through it with his fingers. "here?"

"perfect," you said, chewing your cheek and smiling. he pulled the band over your hair, tying it off tightly and pulled at the hair gently to keep it in place.

his hands glided over your waist, leading his arms to wrap around you as his chin landed on your shoulder. "not too tight?"

you shook your head, smiling. "you're multi talented."

"i have a sister," he reminded you, then put a kiss on your cheek.

you managed to convince him to sit at the counter, and he smiled and laughed with you as you conversed about anything that came to mind. he talked about his latest work antics, and you told him about a café you found the day before that you really enjoyed. he watched you skillfully chop vegetables and prepare chicken, flitting around your kitchen with a familiarity that could only be fostered by time. he glanced at the time on his phone, then looked at the door behind him that led to a bedroom.

"is karol here?" he asked. she normally would have emerged to say hi by now.

you looked at him before going back to pan frying the chicken. "no, she's in busan this weekend with some friends. she'll be back sunday night."

an alarm went off in joshua's head, and he tried not to think too deeply about the fact that you had invited him over while your roommate was away. sex hadn't even been a discussion on the table yet, but not because joshua didn't want it - because, frankly, he wanted it - he was just more concerned about you and your wants. for most things, he felt as though he had learned your thoughts and opinions naturally over the last few months, but outside of a few passing jokes, you hadn't ever mentioned how you felt about sex in general, much less sex with him.

so he stared at you, suddenly unable to ignore the fact that you were wearing shorts because of the weather, but they were hidden under the hem of the neutral toned apron he saw in your videos every week. or the way you smiled at him as you talked, your eyes glinting with mischief when you made a joke at his expense, but only made him laugh and want you more. he stood and came around the island, standing with his hip against the counter as the two of you continued conversing and you added the roux cubes to the pot.

his eyes never left you or your actions, and you noticed the way he inched towards you as your cooking became less involved and began to wrap up. you didn't argue when he put his arms around you again, watching you stir the curry with his cheek against your ear. he wasn't in your way, not even when you reached over to pull a spoon out of a drawer to give it a taste and make sure the seasonings were right, so you instead just enjoyed his presence.

you hummed, licking your lips briefly as you appraised the flavor. "not bad," you said, using the ladle you had been cooking with to pour more into the spoon you had just used to taste. you blew on it, then displayed it for joshua, who looked at you in his peripherals before accepting the bite.

"oh, wow," he said, making you giggle as you put the spoon aside. "that's better than a restaurant."

"thanks," you said, tapping the ladle on the side of pot to get the excess back in the pot, a spot of sauce landing on the back of your hand. you put it on the spoon rest next to your stovetop and replaced the lid on the pot of curry, quickly turning the burner to low. "now we just wait for the rice to pop," you said, spinning in his grip and licking the spot off the back of your hand.

joshua stared at you, desperately wishing in that moment that he wasn't such a damn man, because it was clear in your eyes that it was a completely innocent action. you got some of the delicious sauce on your hand, so why would you wipe it off when a towel wouldn't appreciate it like your tongue would? you wouldn't, obviously. he wouldn't have, either, if it had been his hand. but here he was, gaze fixed on your mouth as you pulled your hand away from it, and one of your eyebrows raised when you noticed.

"can i help you?" you asked, glancing down at his lips when he involuntarily leaned into you.

"i-" he swallowed. "sorry, i'm just-"

in that moment, you registered what his gaze meant. and while you were fairly oblivious to most things, you were far from innocent, so you put your arms over his shoulders and knit your fingers in his hair. "you're just?" you prompted.

there was a chuckle on his lips as he backed you against the counter, and he shook his head lightly. "i just think it's insane how into you i am."

joshua had this way of kissing you that made you think his life depended on it. he kissed you like you were in the final scene of an apocalyptic movie and he had come to terms with the fact that this was the end. like he knew that if your lips left his, he would magically disappear before he could tell you how much you meant to him. like he could stop time as long as he had you pressed against him with his hand on your jaw, but the sun was setting and he wasn’t ready to say good night.

when he finally pulled away from you, you were trying to catch your breath as his hands ran down your waist, and you stared into his eyes. his lips were parted, and his fingers gripped at your hips in a way that you knew meant he wished there were less layers between your skin.

your mind raced, thinking quickly back to how long the two of you had been seeing each other. how long you had known that you were interested in keeping joshua around for the long term. you wracked your brain, thinking about when people normally took the next step at your age, finding a discrepancy in the timing. you had made him wait for so long, but this was the first time you had noticed him trying to bed you - though, this was hardly subtle, so perhaps you had missed signs earlier? hell, the two of you had even shared a bed at this point, but you were pretty sure he hadn't tried anything then, either. you considered the fact that this relationship had gone for over two months without so much as a hint to take the next logical step, and you decided that joshua was definitely the only guy you had met in years that you would be willing to allow under your covers.

"the curry can sit for," you started, blinking rapidly as your mouth caught up to your mind. you swallowed once. "well, until tomorrow, technically, but-"

joshua's lip quirked upward. "did you invite me over to have me stay the night?"

"not-" you exhaled. his tone was slightly accusatory, but only playfully, and you found yourself more flustered by the question than you would have liked. "not consciously, but…" your eyes studied his face. "do you want to?"

"are you kidding?" he asked, making you breathe out a laugh, his forehead landing on yours. "did you not hear me when i said i was insanely into you?"

the rice cooker beeped, drawing both of your attention as it sang out a small tune to alert you it was finished. you looked at joshua. "are you hungry?"

he looked back at you, a smile sneaking on his lips. "i mean, working up an appetite wouldn't hurt, right?"

he let you lead him to your bedroom, which he had only been in once, briefly, when he had helped you put some lights away. the two of you admittedly spent most of your time in kitchens or restaurants, the remainder of your alone time being split between joshua's car and a couch to watch a movie, but joshua thought your taste suited his as he glanced around again, and that he would happily lose time in bedrooms with you. you kissed him again, and he was quick to pull you against his body, leaning into you, making you giggle as you bent backwards at the hips. "josh."

"what?" he asked, giving you a half lidded smile as his hand found your jaw, pulling you back into him. "stop leaning back and i'll stop chasing you."

"i'm-" you giggled into the kiss he interrupted you with. "i'm not leaning back, you're pushing me."

joshua made you feel like you were out of your depth, but in a way that was more exciting than scary. it had been ages since someone had been able to surprise you, or had helped you surprise yourself, but today he was doing both. the last time you had let a man into your heart, it had been less than perfect, especially towards the end, but joshua felt like home. cozy. he made you feel safe. like he wouldn't let you fall backwards unless your mattress was waiting for you.

and when you fell, he crawled over you, connecting your lips again with a hand against your jaw, the other holding himself above you, and you tried to restrain a whine.

"josh," you said suddenly, pushing on his chest lightly, processing fully what was about to happen and a shot of anxiety running through your chest. "c-can i tell you something first?"

joshua paused his motions, studying your eyes, his expression skewing scared. "oh, shit, are you a virgin?"

"what?" your eyebrows creased, a laugh on your lips. "no, what the fuck, josh? i'm in my mid-twenties."

he blinked at you. "there would be nothing wrong with you if you were a virgin in your mid-twenties."

"i'm not a virgin, joshua."

"right," he shook his head slightly. "sorry, i don't know. what were you saying?"

you chewed at your cheek nervously. "i just. i haven't… been with a guy in a really long time."

his eyes examined your face, looking for a hint at what you meant, because if it was only what you were saying, he didn't understand why you were so worried. "okay?"

"like, really long," you reiterated.

"baby, i promise," he said, forehead against yours. "i promise you, i don't care."

you exhaled sharply, wishing you could just enjoy things normal people did. that you knew what people wanted out of these encounters innately, instead of having to overthink them. "like, i don't want to… i don't know. disappoint you."

"disappoint me?" his head bobbed backwards in shock. "how the hell could i ever be disappointed when you're you?"

your eyes shut, grateful that he could still make you smile when you felt so out of your league. "i just mean that i-" you paused, trying to figure out how much you were willing to say, and how much you could without ruining whatever mood had been fostered here. "i just don't really do this. like, i feel like i don't know how."

"baby," he said, pressing his lips to yours briefly. "honey, sweetie, darling," he continued, punctuating each name with quick pecks. "you could starfish and i would have the time of my life."

you laughed, a hand landing on his shoulder sharply as he smiled at you. "okay, i'm not that bad, jesus."

"i'm telling you," he assured. "i don't care. i don't care if it's been months or years or forever, i don't care." he paused, appraising your expression. "we don't have to do anything. i'd be happy to just kiss you for an hour and a half if you're not ready."

"no," you whined, crinkling your nose. "it's not that, i just…" you took a breath. "i might just need you to take it a little slow."

"well, baby, you're in luck," he said, giving you a teasing smirk as his lips closed in on yours again. "slow and steady is exactly how i want you."

karol had said you hated men. she hadn't been wrong. you hated a lot of men, and how they made you feel like a prisoner in your own body. you hated the men you had encountered in your past, who made you feel small and weak. ugly and only wanted for one purpose, disrespecting your boundaries, your presentation, and your being. you hated those men, and nothing would ever redeem them for you.

joshua was different, though. he wasn't like them, because even though you didn't say explicitly why you needed a little extra care, he was more than prepared to give it to you. without even needing specific direction, he paid special attention to your reactions. to your body. he waited until you were ready, and asking him for more. and even when he sheepishly admitted that he'd started carrying a condom in his wallet the month prior, you could only giggle and silently be overwhelmingly thankful that he was truly nothing like any man you had ever been with before.

you swore you had made the same recipe you always did, but your curry tasted sweeter than you remembered. maybe it was just that you were eating it in your underwear with a man that made you feel comfortable in your skin for the first time in forever, a home improvement show remaining unwatched on your tv as the two of you joked together.

joshua woke the next morning in your empty bed, and was only confused for a second as he looked around your white walls. he stretched once, then sat up, eyes meandering over your orange patterned rug (one he remembered describing as "groovy" when he had first seen it, which had made you laugh in that way he adored), then noticed your laptop had been turned on. it was saturday, he realized, and you were likely going to edit today so you wouldn't have to tomorrow. he decidedly did not peek, though he wanted to, and peeked out your bedroom door instead.

you were easy to find, standing in your kitchen with an oversized shirt on and your hair pulled out of your face as you formed rice balls. you looked up from your work, smiling when you saw him, placing the triangle of rice you had just made on the cutting board. "good morning!"

it was, he thought. it was a really good morning.

you teased him for hugging you in your kitchen while he was only wearing underwear, saying that he seemed to have made himself comfortable quickly. he just playfully ran his hands under your shirt, saying, well, what about you, then? making breakfast with no pants on?

"i live here," you said, giggling and using your hip to bump him away. "i pay rent. what do you do?"

his eyes darted away from yours as he thought. "sit still, look pretty?"

that made you laugh. "you are very pretty."

he grinned, taking the opportunity to pull you into his chest again. "you, too."

he looked at what you had made, noticing the pot on the stove for the first time.

"soybean paste soup," you said, reacting to his gaze, then pointed at the neat triangles of brown tinted rice in front of you. "mushroom riceballs, and i'm making tamagoyaki next."

joshua blinked at you after processing everything. "do you do this every morning?"

"not every morning," you giggled. "but i wanted to today."

weeks later, you were biting your pinky nail to oblivion as you scrolled through comments on the video you had posted earlier that morning. you were sitting on the couch in joshua's living room, your laptop perched on the arm and your boyfriend fixing something to eat before the two of you sat to watch a movie. you had made a risky move in your video - one you thought would have been fine, but clearly people read more into it than you expected. joshua came over for dinner earlier in the week, when you had made pasta with all the delicious fresh seafood the two of you had found at a market the day before, accompanied by a simple salad and white wine. karol was working late, so you had set some aside for her, but that meant it was just you and joshua in frame when you filmed your usual table setting shot.

people were speculating.

you knew it was inevitable, and a few comments had pointed out the man that had eaten sushi with you in the vlog that included your first date, but at this point, the comments were flooded with questions and hypotheses on who the mystery man could be. most assumed boyfriend - which, while true, made you feel slightly annoyed - and a few wondered if he was your brother, or close friend, but they all noticed that his hands and voice had become regular guest stars on your channel. that, while you still got meals with krys and karol, this nameless, faceless man sat opposite you more often than anyone else.

the jeonju vlog is what sparked the most comments. people suspected some amount of intimacy when they realized this guy was travelling with you, too, and you probably would have thought the same if it had been someone you watched regularly. you had been careful with the editing, only including clips with food and the scenery shots that didn't star him (while you had filmed a lot that did, those were just for your own personal record), but you supposed it was in peoples' nature to try and find a romantic plotline in your slice of life.

"josh?" you said suddenly, pulling your pinky from between your teeth. you heard his vague noise of acknowledgment and spun around on the couch to watch as he cocked his head at you from the kitchen. "should we go public?"

"uh," he paused, looking at the scallion pancake he was cooking, quickly grabbing the panhandle to flip it. "give me, like, two minutes and we can discuss? i'm almost done in here."

you puffed your cheeks out and nodded, turning back towards your computer. "okay, baby."

when joshua came into the living room, the spread he had quickly put together across a tray you had bought for him (because you wanted it, mostly, but karol would kill you if you brought more home), he put it on the coffee table and sat next to you, quickly addressing the subject again.

"people keep," you paused. his eyebrows raised, prompting you, but he only chewed on his bottom lip to let you take your time as you hugged your knees to your chest. "people keep assuming you're my boyfriend anyways, so i'm just thinking-" you exhaled sharply. "should we just say fuck it? just confirm that we're a couple?"

joshua studied you. "you've always been pretty private."

you chewed your cheek, putting your lips against your knees. "that's on purpose."

"you don't have to say anything you don't want to," he reminded you, rubbing a hand against your back. you put your chin on your knees and gave him your biggest doe eyes, making him smile. "they can speculate all they want, but you don't owe them an explanation."

you nodded lightly as you hugged your legs and looked around, briefly studying the tray joshua had brought over. he had quickly stirfried some vegetables, grilled the frozen pork belly slices he always kept on hand, and even cooked your favorite premade scallion pancakes, the spread complete with several side dishes you had made together earlier in the week and two bowls of rice. your brows knit together, fingers itching to film how neatly he had put together a light meal for the two of you because you had said you wanted to show him your favorite movie without interruption, and he knew you would be hungry soon.

"would you-" you cleared your throat, looking up from the food and finding his eyes. "what do you think i should do?"

he let out a breathy laugh. "does it matter? you'll do what you want anyways."

you whined, pushing his shoulder as your feet dropped from the couch. "i'm serious, your opinion matters here. would you be okay with being public?"

"you're joking, right?" he laughed, adjusting his posture, and grabbing your hand to folding it between his. "baby, you know i care about you, right?"

your lips pursed as you nodded, looking between his eyes shyly.

"and you know i would never try to say that i, like, own you, right? like, i don't claim ownership over you as a person."

you let out a short laugh. "right."

he held your hand tighter. "i want to tell every viewer of every single one of your videos that you are mine."

your cheek puffed out as you smiled. "really?"

"especially the reply guys, oh my gosh," he rolled his eyes, making you laugh. "there's a place i think you'd like! i could take you, smiley face. yeah, get lost, creep. move along."

your palm landed on your cheek as you laughed. "shut up, are you serious?"

"you don't see those?" his eyes wide when you shook your head. "baby, there's so many people trying to take you out in the comments. so many."

you giggled, pressing your lips together. "well, there's only one guy that gets to."

"that's right," joshua said, a proud look on his face. "the ultimate reply guy fanboy."

you pushed his chest, laughing again. "shut up."

you decided an faq would do, but in the style of your regular videos. you definitely didn't want to just sit down in front of your camera and talk through questions and answers - that wasn't your style, and would feel wrong uploading. so instead, you spent a few hours compiling questions you had been asked often and organized them in a way that made sense, planning on showing your daily life. questions like what camera you used, what your go-to quick breakfast is, where you bought the clothes you liked - it was easy to plan them out to create a vague storyline of your standard day. you woke up on a wednesday (a day you went to the studio, because many of your questions were about what goes on there), excited to film but slightly nervous. as you set up your camera for breakfast, your phone buzzed on the counter.

joshie: good morning, baby! you got this! can't wait to see you tonight 🥰

you: 🥺🥺🥺 thank you!

the day went well, filming your planned clips on the subway and at the studio, and when your coworker asked what all the questions you were filming for were, you sighed.

"normal stuff," you said quickly, taking off your apron after several hours of cooking and shooting. "favorite recipes, what equipment i use… y'know."

yunhyeong nodded at you, his eyes squinting slightly. "is that all?"

he knew you. he knew how you reacted when you were nervous. how you could practically hide it from anyone, but that certain subjects would always make your eyes look slightly panicked and your speech speed up. the worst part is that you knew he knew, and your facade was almost immediately broken.

"and if i have a boyfriend."

he stared at you for a second before he laughed in disbelief. it took him over a week of bugging you about the guy in your videos before you admitted you were seeing someone, and even then, you only did because joshua had started picking you up from the studio and - against your wishes - introduced himself to your coworkers. yunhyeong thought about how protective you were of your privacy, and how you had never revealed something as personal as a relationship online before - partly because none of the people you had gone on two or three dates with had been serious enough to reveal, but he mostly thought about how you barely even showed your own face. that you stayed mostly silent when you filmed, and if you had to speak, it was a voice that was only adjacent to your usual cadence, as if you were trying to create another barrier between you and your online persona. how you had mourned your grandfather's passing and uploaded your vlog like normal two days later, but called out of work for the week following.

"and you're telling the truth?"

you exhaled, wiping down the stove top now that it had cooled. "yeah, shua and i discussed it. people are speculating, anyways, and it's not like he's going anywhere any time soon."

yunhyeong nodded again, organizing the spices as he put them away. "i'm happy for you."

you looked at him. "what do you mean?"

"it's a big step," he said, purposefully keeping his eyes from you so you didn't get self conscious. "you haven't been this serious about someone the entire time i've known you. i think it's really great that you found someone you care about."

you watched him spin bottles to be label out as you considered his words. "thanks."

he peeked at you, smiling. "of course."

yunhyeong's words rattled in your mind as you walked to the restaurant joshua had agreed to meet you at, filming your feet as you went with the intention of answering a few random questions with on-screen text in the edit. someone you care about.

you thought about how joshua had said the same thing about you when you had asked if going public was something he would be comfortable with. the way it has made your heart flutter. you wondered, briefly, if perhaps this was something more than just caring.

when you were editing the video that saturday, you procrastinated on the last question as long as you could, and when it was the only thing left to do, you escaped to the kitchen to make lunch in favor of finishing the part that was haunting you. your bagel sandwich was delicious, but you could barely enjoy it, mind clouded by the task that made your anxiety peak for seemingly no good reason.

it took you too long to finish it.

when you showed it to joshua, wanting his blessing before you uploaded, he couldn't hide his giddy reaction.

"it's okay?" you confirmed, studying his face.

he nodded at you, lips pushed together into a lopsided smile. "it's really cute."

"cute?" you asked, clicking through the video. "that's good, right?"

"yes," he laughed, squeezing your shoulder to put a kiss on your head. "it's great. post it."

so you did. and while you had gotten a tiny bump when krys excitedly dragged the two of you onto her stream that afternoon, you had no way of predicting the way the rest of the internet picked it up a few weeks later.

"r/relationshipgoals," jeonghan read off his phone, leaning against your kitchen island along with several of your friends that had come over when they saw the two of you on their newsfeeds unprompted. "'cross post from r/cutecouples, the most heartwarming boyfriend reveal you'll see this year.'"

"twitter, too," karol announced looking up from her own phone, seated in a barstool beside him. "you're a twitter moment. people found the clip from krys' stream, even."

you were on the counter opposite them, kicking your feet nervously to the beat in your head as you chewed your lip. you sighed and covered your face. "how long is this gonna last?"

"a while, hopefully," krys said, turning your laptop screen towards you. "your subcounts are insane right now."

you whined into your hands, making joshua appear at your side to put a hand on your spine. you took a breath at the touch, relaxing your tensed thighs on the counter. "it's okay to be nervous," he muttered at you. "but it's also kinda exciting, right?"

you exhaled deeply, letting your hands fall and your eyes trail to his before a smile broke on your face. "kinda."

so after you calmed yourself down, you managed to go through some of the posts about you, and you surprised yourself by letting them put a smile on your face. even the idea of having a public relationship had scared you shitless less than a month prior, but this… this wasn't so bad. seeing twitter repost the same video of you filming your feet as you walked into a restaurant, panning the camera up to reveal joshua sitting at a table and waving excitedly at you. the cuts you made to show clips that had landed on the cutting room floor of past videos - the footage you had taken of him pointing out the new wok you had started using a few weeks prior in a kitchen specialty store, and the goofy face he revealed after holding it in front of himself as he brought it back to you. the video of joshua grasping your hand, panning up to his playfully serious face as he dragged you down a boardwalk in jeonju, gesturing to the sunset. the unedited audio from your first date, when you had said something about it looking really good, and he had said something along the lines of how it would have been a waste if you hadn't recorded, and the two of you giggled together in a way that nervous new couples did. short bits of you swinging your camera around to reveal a laughing joshua as you tried to film quiet shots. a clip of him wearing a triangular menu on his head like a hat, acting as though it was completely normal.

you had a hard time believing anything you ever did would be viral-worthy, but even you had to admit, this was a pretty understandable thing for you to go viral for.

besides, it felt like it made sense for this to be the one thing about your personal life that ended up getting attention. it felt like he was an innate part of you at this point, and that you wouldn't be honest if you hid him.

it was august when he broke your heart.

"how could you?" you asked him, staring in disbelief. "you haven't seen lord of the rings?"

"okay, i lied," joshua said, still washing the dishes. "i saw them when i was a kid, but i don't remember them really."

"well, we're fixing that."

he looked at where you were sitting on his kitchen island - a well known habit of yours at this point. "today?"

"not today," you said, poking your toe at his hip. "this weekend, maybe? if we start now, we'll be watching til you go to work tomorrow morning."

he shut off the faucet and gingerly placed the pan he had just washed on the drying rack. "how many movies is it? i thought it was just three."

"it is," you said, laughing at his shocked look. "the extended editions are around four hours each."

joshua exhaled, leaning against the counter as he used a cloth to dry his hands. "you're lucky i like wasting hours with you."

you grinned, hopping down from your seat. "you're lucky i let you."

and that weekend, the two of you did just that - waste time, ordering delivery food for two meals as you camped out on the couch in various positions as the two of you got comfortable repeatedly. you couldn't help but recite specific lines, mouthing along with every word gandalf said like you had thought of the words yourself. you pointed out behind the scenes facts along the way, even, excitedly saying viggo broke two toes when he kicked that helmet, or how faramir's flames were a mirror trick. joshua watched you, because while he knew it was your favorite movie and he really should pay attention, he couldn't help but get distracted by his own favorite movie, and it starred you getting excited about something you loved.

you slept later than joshua that sunday, and when you emerged from the bedroom, you spotted krys sitting at the island with a plate of waffles in front of her, then found joshua leaned against the counter with a cup of coffee. he smiled when he saw you.

"i made breakfast," he said, gesturing to the counter.

you looked around at the spread as you walked over to him. waffles, fruit, bacon, and the promise of a fried egg upon request - a spread worthy of your own brunching standards. "what about second breakfast?" you asked quietly, in accented english.

joshua laughed, his arm wrapping around your midsection as you came over to kiss him good morning. "elevensies?" he shot back, in the same vague accent.

you broke your serious face to giggle. "luncheon?"

"alright," krys said, voice raised in annoyance when the two of you looked over at her. "i get it, y'all are in love or whatever, but can you have some respect for those of us who are lonely?"

you rolled your eyes, laughing at the fact that she had absolutely brought this upon herself by forcing the two of you together every chance she got, but joshua went cold when he heard her say the thing he had been thinking for a while, but was too scared to say out loud. the thing he felt when you grabbed his arm and told him that if he wouldn't let you carry the ring, then you could at least carry him with all the same dramatics as one samwise gamgee did. when you cried as frodo and bilbo sailed into the sunset for good, even though you had seen it a million times over. the sneaking thought that he was in love with you, but didn't know how to say so. he swallowed down the thought, shaking his head when you raised a questioning brow at him as you dished up a plate of waffles and fruit.

it didn't take you long to trust joshua enough to give him your door code so he could let himself in, but it took him a while to actually use it. he said something about not wanting to intrude, but you told him it was more intrusive to make you come to the door when you could possibly be doing important things and he was completely capable of getting in on his own.

"babe?"

you hissed. you had the thought right before you started this boss battle, that he would arrive before you finished and you would be trapped at your computer. you were right. "in here! gimme like two minutes!"

you heard him enter your room, and his bubbly laugh when he spotted your back at your desk desperately clicking your mouse and striking your keyboard. "wow, is this what you meant by important things?"

"please, please, please," you whined, intermittently squealing as you reacted to the enemy attacks. "i'll get off in a second i just need one more cleansing heart to ascend xin- fuck! not the stupid birds!"

he laughed again, his hand finding the back of your shoulder, thumbs pressing into the constantly sore flesh. you winced as he kneaded his fingers into your shoulder but exhaled, making him laugh lightly when you got knocked over by a boar. "hey, there's a boar there."

"yes, thank you, joshua." you quickly cracked a knuckle as soon as you had down time, sticking your neck out as he continued to massage your shoulders. "i think i have two more waves."

"waves? because it's a water level?"

you groaned into a reluctant laugh. "no shitty jokes right now, i'm trying to focus. normally krys and i co-op this one but she was busy."

he hummed, moving to stand next to you with his hand resting at the base of your neck. "wonder what she was doing."

"don't you live with her?" you teasingly asked, glancing up at him for the first time while sprinting across the platform, your game camera spinning uncontrollably when you suddenly pulled both hands to your mouth and gasped. "what the fuck, joshua?"

he stifled a grin, but it was completely obvious in his eyes as you stared up at him, blonde hair curled lightly to stay out of his face. "what's up?"

you stood from your chair, inspecting his head. "what the fuck?"

he laughed, wrapping his arms around you when you ran your fingers through his bleached locks hesitantly. "do you hate it?"

"i-" you blinked at him repeatedly. "what? no, i don't hate- what the fuck, joshua?"

"what?" he whined, eyebrows tenting at you even though his lips were still smiling. "does it not suit me?"

you held his head and squinted at him. "josh, you're hot. you look hot. but what the fuck?"

he laughed, finally planting his hello kiss on your lips. he watched the gears turn behind your eyes, puckered lips becoming a pout.

"did you go to a salon?"

he grinned. "krys did it."

you made a fist at him, scrunching your face for a second as you exhaled, looking down at the screen right as your last team member died, respawning at a statue. "that's why she used so many smiley faces when she said she was busy."

he put his lips to your cheek, smiling into your skin. "not bad though, right? you got a pretty handsome boyfriend."

and while you would have loved to roll your eyes and tease him, you were overtaken by a giggle as you turned your head towards him again, the tip of his nose gliding across your cheek. "yeah, i do."

his eyebrows went up. "wow, wasn't expecting you to admit it so readily."

you laughed, a light, carefree laugh, your palms on his jaw as you kissed him. "i have eyes, joshua." he just smiled against your lips, lacing his fingers together behind your tailbone, and you pulled away slightly to look up at his hair again. your hands went to his nape, fingertips against his scalp. "how long did it take? you have thick hair."

"we did three sessions," he said. "enjoy it while you can, it might fall out."

you laughed with him, brushing your fingers gently in his bangs again. "it feels fine, though?"

"yeah, i made this incredible discovery that i'm almost positive i'm the first to hear about it. it's called a hair treatment."

you batted at his chest, giggling. "shut up."

"make me," he said, the sweet smile on his lips making the phrase more playful than suggestive.

"i can't believe you surprised me with bleached hair," you said, plopping into your seat and exiting the game. "you know i hate surprises, right?"

"that's too bad," he said, his hand returning to rub against your neck. "i like surprises a lot. get used to them."

you puffed out your cheeks, sighing slowly. "usually people compromise."

"not on this," he stated. "i'm a gift giver."

"yeah, i figured that out when you got flowers sent to the studio on our one month anniversary, then again on our second, then here on our third…"

he was just smiling smugly at you when you stood again, maneuvering around him. "and you love getting them?"

you rolled your eyes, not even commenting when he playfully patted your butt as you went by. "they're always tasteful and it's nice to have some seasonal flowers for the counter."

"so you love them," he repeated. "because it sounds to me like you love them."

you laughed, reaching out to catch his hand in yours and pull him along with you as you exited to the main living area. "and what if i do? so what, joshua hong, if it makes my heart beat a little fast when we suddenly get flowers delivered and i realize it's the fourteenth? are you gonna call me a hypocrite because i vocally advocate that traditional chivalry is bullshit?"

he just listened to your playful accusation, more proving that you were self aware rather than egging him on. "no way," he said plainly. "you can still think traditional chivalry is bullshit, it won't stop me from trying to make you smile."

you felt your face heating up, your jaw dropping slightly to let out an annoyed huff. "cheesy, joshua. i'm offended."

"want me to make it worse?" he asked, wrapping his arms around your waist.

your hands landed on his chest as you squinted at his grin. "i'm scared."

he gave you a crooked grin. "happy one hundred days. i brought sushi."

your head whipped over to the counter, spotting the paper bag with a familiar logo. "from nori table?"

"of course, from nori table."

joshua had promised jeonghan that you would make an appearance as a couple at a party he was throwing the next day, and you found yourself almost nervous. you got on with jeonghan famously - almost enough to drive joshua insane - and you even warmed up to seokmin pretty quickly, but from what you had been told, jeonghan enjoyed partying, and you didn't really like getting drunk.

"you made it!" seokmin grinned big, spreading his arms to signal for you to let him wrap you in a hug. you laughed and greeted him, enjoying the friendly comfort, then watching him hug joshua after he let you go. "and you're blonde! life's good?"

"yeah," joshua said, making eye contact with you briefly as his fingers tangled with yours. "life's good. you?"

seokmin blinked before he said "yeah, good!" and your brow knit slightly before you consciously adjusted your face to hide the analysis of his hesitation happening behind your eyes. "this is your first time here, right?"

you nodded, smiling and following him as he led you into the crowded apartment. "yeah, it's been busy lately. but i finally made it to one!"

"well, you need to meet my friends," he said, continuously looking back at you even as he walked ahead, towards a corner of the living room. "you're gonna love them."

"aye, josh!"

you looked to the source of the call, spotting the guy pulling himself to his feet from his seat on the couch, arms wide in greeting to your boyfriend.

"hey, hosh," joshua said, a sideways grin on and his brows tented as he gave him a quick handshake into a hug. quickly, he put a hand on your opposite shoulder, pulling you towards him and quickly introducing you.

soonyoung initially went in for a hug after your introduction, but immediately noticed the way your eyes widened slightly and instantly pulled his arms down, leaving a hand extended for you to shake. you laughed, taking it, and apologized for not being a hugger.

"no worries," soonyoung laughed, and you wondered if he was always this pink in the face or if he had already started drinking. "seokmin will hug me, right?"

"everyone!" seokmin ignored him, pulling you towards the people gathered on and around the couch. he announced you to his friends then quickly went down the line - soonyoung, seungkwan, jihoon, dongmin, yugyeom - you repeated the names back to him like you would remember all of them, even though you knew you wouldn't unless they became regulars in your life, too.

jeonghan flitted by and expressed his greetings to you both some time later, intending to abscond with joshua for drinks and conversation elsewhere, but he stopped jeonghan from pulling him away before he put a hand on your elbow, looking at you meaningfully.

"i'll be okay," you told him, smiling. "go ahead."

he squinted at you. "you sure?"

"seokmin's here," you reminded him, nodding your head at the boy you had practically adopted as your own brother. "real quick, about soonyoung-"

he quirked an eyebrow at you. "what about him?"

you chewed your lip, smiling. "karol's been a little too focused on work lately, right?"

his eyes widened, thinking about your roommate. his eyes went to the man you had referenced, who was currently chanting something into seungkwan's face as he rolled his eyes. "karol?"

"what do you think?" you asked, looking back at soonyoung.

he blinked. "i think he'll drive her insane."

your eyes shone at him. "i think she'll love it."

he laughed incredulously, registering that you had asked his opinion instead of just doing whatever pleased you, and he wondered if that meant you trusted him. "you're right," he said finally. "try it."

"of course i'm right," you said, giggling against the quick peck he put on your lips. "remove him, jeonghan."

"finally," an impatient host shot back, rolling his eyes in a way that landed in a sly smile at you. "for what it's worth, i think your plan will work."

"didn't need your approval, but i'll take it," you said, smiling smugly at him. "i'll update you later."

the update you gave the next time you saw him, weeks later, was that karol had left the apartment every week since to go be with soonyoung somewhere fun and exciting, and you waved her off with a shiteating grin every week, culminating in the two of them arriving to krys' birthday party hand in hand.

jeonghan laughed, stealing a carrot stick from your cutting board as you arranged them into a rainbow themed charcuterie platter. "knew it. soonyoung loves women stronger than him."

you looked at him as he took a bite. "and karol loves someone she can take care of."

"look at us," he said, waving the half eaten carrot between the two of you with a lopsided grin on his face. "what a duo. we should hang out more. fuck joshua."

you laughed at him, then at the offended look on your boyfriend's face as he walked past. "now?" you asked eyebrows raised as you looked at him expectantly, and he laughed when he realized what the last words out of jeonghan's mouth were seconds before.

"please, this is a child's birthday party," he reminded you, and you laughed at the overexaggerated look he gave you to sell the joke.

you looked over to where krys was laughing with seokmin, soonyoung, and karol, then back down to your work as you nudged around quartered figs with a vague smile on. "seems like the kids are having a nice time."

jeonghan sighed, falling dramatically against the counter. "oh, to be young and in love."

joshua laughed. "karol's our age."

his cheek was planted in his palm, elbow on the counter as he gazed after the group. "i'm talking about seokmin and krys."

"what?" joshua asked, voice nearly cracking, and you let out an explosive laugh. "seokmin and who?"

"stop acting stupid," jeonghan waved ahand at him, then popping his eyes up to catch your look of solidarity. he pointed at you. "see? we're on the same page, which means we're right."

joshua looked at you and you raised your hands in surrender. "are you serious?" he asked. "my sister and-"

you landed a hand on his face, effectively shutting him up as you giggled. "shush, josh. just leave it, okay?"

"good idea," jeonghan sighed, straightening and picking up the platter you had finished. "dining table?"

"please," you responded, looking back and giggling when joshua looked just as dumbfounded as he had before you looked away. "she's an adult. seokmin's a good guy. let it happen."

he closed his mouth, stealing a glance at his sister. "he is a kindergarten teacher."

"and both your best friend and your partner love him," you reminded him. "she could do worse."

he gave you a look. "she has done worse."

"shut up," you said, pushing his shoulder in your friend's defense. "you've done pretty bad, too."

his eyes went to the ceiling, remembering the accidental altercation you had been forced to have with one of his more regrettable exes. "how many times do i have to apologize-"

"you don't," you laughed, putting your hands on his cheeks and focusing his eyes on yours. "but krys is an adult. she's allowed to judge her own partners, and even if she ends up being wrong, she's old enough to make her own mistakes."

joshua huffed, knowing you were right but not wanting to admit it. "sorry i'm trying to protect my one and only baby sister."

"yes, and you're adorable," you assured him. "best big brother ever. but it's her birthday, and if you don't start getting drunk soon, she'll be very upset."

drinking with joshua was fun. because he wasn't much different than yourself - he didn't get crazy, he didn't get loud. he just got loose. he let stupider jokes out, and he was more willing to join in on krys' performative comedy bits throughout the night. you found yourself falling onto a couch with him, giggling as he caught his breath after a particularly involved musical number.

the most fun you had drinking with joshua was in itaewon, long past midnight but still what you considered halloween. you had been dragging karol with you for years, but now you had a boyfriend, and she had a boyfriend, and you both had a new joint best friend, so it only made sense for you to get them all take the train ride out to your favorite part of seoul.

ratatouille. that was the only way you could get joshua to go with you. he wanted a couples costume and he wanted you to be the rat.

"this feels backhanded," you told him.

"do you want to be linguine?" he asked. "i can be sexy remy. i can find grey hot pants, but you have to be the one to attach the the tail because i have no idea what my butt looks like."

you laughed, resigning to your fate and buying the outfit online, then looked at him suddenly. "liar. i know you check yourself out at the gym."

"okay," he said, eyes on the ceiling as he herded a giggling you into his arms. "then… i want it to be accurate, so you need to attach it directly at my tailbone." he cocked his head at you after you settled into the hug. "i have to be wearing them, obviously."

"obviously," you said. "but unfortunately, i already ordered the body suit."

josh pressed his lips together and made a quick fist in victory. "awesome. i-i mean! aww, well, that's fine, i suppose." he sighed dramatically, convincing absolutely no one that he hadn't wanted this outcome all along. "i'll be linguine."

"i don't feel like fighting a bunch of gays in itaewon for your affection anyways," you said, making him laugh and kiss your cheek quickly before pulling away.

"grilled cheese?"

"is that even a question?"

it wasn't a question when you were weaving through throngs of bunnies and angels, either, holding hands with both him and his sister to not lose them in the crowd, karol and soonyoung trailing behind krys, all five of you on a mission to get carbs in you after starting the night off nearly too strong.

halloween in itaewon was different. it was special, you thought. you usually didn't like crowds, but this one felt good. halloween wasn't a celebrated holiday in korea, but with internet, influencers, and immigrants, the culture found its way into the new age scene. you loved an excuse to celebrate your favorite characters by paying them homage, and joshua had thought that was a noble enough reason for him to justify staying up too late and drinking too much.

you had just left the diner themed bar that you devoured griddle top sandwiches from, as well as another drink, and you spotted a familiar angel making a beeline for you.

well, not you.

"how many times have i tried to get you to come to itaewon with me?" jeonghan asked, pushing joshua's shoulder as soon as he could reach it.

joshua laughed, looking shocked by the sudden appearance of his friend. "you never agreed to be remy!"

jeonghan looked at you, and burst into laughter, making your jaw drop in indignance and whacking your fist against both their arms. "at least we're original. way to put in the effort, han."

he shrugged bringing a straw to his mouth, and you eyed the pink liquid that had clearly been funnelled into a water bottle. "i look better than all these clowns and you know it."

"there you are!"

jeonghan spun, the straw still in his mouth. "shit, i haven't lost you?"

seokmin gave him a sarcastic laugh, adjusting the shoulder of his soccer jersey as he walked up behind him, quickly adding to your small circle as he greeted you and joshua. you stepped aside suddenly, revealing the members of your party that had been lagging behind. "o-oh! it's all of you!"

you made brief eye contact with joshua, who was trying to not laugh at your less than subtle attempt. "you match!" you said quickly, pointing out that krys was dressed as a baseball player. "baseball, soccer," you trailed off, looking around for help.

"sports couple," jeonghan said loudly, slipping you a quick look. "cute."

soonyoung had to put his entire palm over his mouth to stop himself from exploding into giggles when seokmin went red in the ears and krys tried to change the subject as kindly as she could manage.

when you finally made it back into joshua's room, it was far too late (early? you could think about it more, but you preferred resigning to the fact that the passage of time was beyond you and moving on), the sun already starting to light the sky as it prepared to break the horizon. when you stole his toque of his head, he put his hand on your waist, backing you up against the closet door and gently working his lips onto yours.

you giggled, your arms landing on his shoulders. "aren't you tired?

"yeah, but," his eyes fluttering over your face. "i just really like you."

you were smiling when he pressed his lips to yours again. "i really like you, too, but we've been at a sweaty block party all night and we need to shower."

"together?" he asked, a spot of childish hope in his voice. "singular shower?"

you sighed on his lips, playfully threading your fingers against his nape. "if you want?"

the hot water felt especially good after trekking home in the cold without a jacket. and even though it was just meant to be a shower, he kept kissing you like it was something more, pressing you against the tiled wall and running his hands all over your shape. you couldn't stop giggling. pushing his hands away, saying you need to wash up, but giving him looks like you wanted him to keep going. you were running your hands over his chest, rinsing away suds, when joshua couldn't help but put a hand at the base of your neck, tipping your head slightly to deepen an already heated kiss.

"cut it out," you muttered against his lips, feeling them curve despite your eyes staying shut.

"cut what out?"

you looked at him, barely processing anything other than how incredibly handsome he was, even with his lashes stuck together with moisture and his hair slicked back against his head. "trying to fuck me in a shower stall."

he laughed teasingly, leaning into you again. "then why'd you agree to come in here with me?"

your back hit the tile again, and you giggled. "to save water."

and then he's kissing you again, a hand steady on your nape as he worked you open, tongue lapping against yours with a desperation that could only mean one thing. you whimpered dumbly, the squeaky whine escaping you with no difficulty as your hands ran up his chest, your grip longing for any amount of him you could get.

his lips leave you abruptly, asking if this was too much. if you wanted to stop. but you shook your head at him, hands eager to feel more of his shoulders, his neck, his scalp, despite your legs starting to give out. steam drifted between you when you told him your legs felt like jello from your full shift of partying, and if he didn't want to hold you up, you should probably take this to bed.

you were giggling as you frantically dried each other off, stealing kisses that were far too deep to be so short and longing touches that could have been interpreted as purposeful drying if you squinted hard enough, but felt much more like careful teasing. his hands felt right running up your body, and your hair was still damp, but that didn't bother either of you when you fell into bed together.

"i cant believe you want to fuck me when i was dressed like a literal rat," you teased.

he laughed, tugging your thigh up on his hip as his nose nuzzled against yours. "a sexy rat."

you giggled, lips parting when he kissed you. "a rat from a pixar movie."

he didn't miss a beat. "a sexy rat from a pixar movie."

you roll your damn eyes at him, and he just laughs, knowing that it mattered very little what you were wearing before, because now you were bare, clean, and safe in his bed, which was exactly where he wanted you for the rest of forever.

the sun was past its peak when you woke, stretching your sore spine and legs with joshua's arm draped over you. his hand seemed to wake before he did, finding your hip and squeezing gently as he took in his signature first breath of the day.

"g'morning." you smiled at his soft voice as he squinted at you, and you rolled into him to plant a kiss on his lips.

"it's almost two," you said finally.

he groaned, burying his face in the pillow. "too early." his grip around you tightened, making you giggle. "nap time."

you whined. "i wanna make coffee before it gets too late."

"i said nap time," he muttered, face still against the pillow.

"baby, i have a headache."

his head popped up, squinting at the bedside. "there's water."

you laughed incredulously. "i need caffeine."

he just pulled you tighter. "i need you here."

"wow," you said, wrapping your arms around him as he snuggled into your chest. "would rather i suffer from a caffeine headache for your own selfish need to cuddle than let me escape for two minutes to make a coffee and come back?"

he smiled, rubbing his cheek against your sternum. "mhmm."

you giggled, carding your fingers through his hair and resigning to a few more precious moments of uninterrupted snuggling before you could relieve the vague aching in your temples.

he did eventually let you slip out of his grasp, and you asked if he wanted a coffee, too, to which he just blearily blinked at you and nodded once. you laughed, finding a shirt in a drawer and pulling it over your head before exiting to the kitchen.

you hit the kettle first, having a craving for a hot cup of coffee rather than the usual iced, grabbing a mug and glass from a cabinet. the espresso machine sat on the long counter against the windowed outer wall, and your eyes danced across the outside world as you made the two coffees. when you returned to the bedroom, joshua was on his phone, and when you cleared your throat, he dropped his phone on the pillow and pretended to be asleep, complete with a loud snore.

you giggled, sitting on the edge of the bed and nudging him carefully. "get up or i'll put the glass on your neck."

he winced at the idea. "evil," he stated plainly, flopping around to comfortably sit up and taking the iced coffee from you.

you sipped your coffee and put it on the bedside table to swing your feet back under the covers. you shoved at the pillows to support your back as you sat, grabbing your coffee and phone to begin your weekend morning routine of checking the news as you sipped at an americano. "i brought you coffee in bed at two pm. i think i'm pretty saintly."

he gave you a fake laugh, making you giggle and push your foot against his leg under the covers in a half hearted kick. "is that why you said 'oh, god' so much last night?"

you groaned. "gross, joshua. and for the record," you said, eyeing him slyly as a smile broke out on your lips. "that was this morning."

"time is an illusion," he declared, taking a gulp from his coffee and setting it down to get more comfortable beside you as you began to read an article. "are we doing anything today?"

you shook your head, eyes still focused on your screen. "nada."

"nothin'?" joshua fished.

"zilch," you concluded.

"rad," he decided, a light tone in his voice as he grabbed his phone to resume whatever he had been doing before you returned. "do you wanna order breakfast?"

you let out a breath, your head falling back as you looked at him. "yes, oh my god."

he laughed, and his eyes ran over your face in a way you recognized well at this point. to you, it was him just smiling back at you, and you liked that it reached his eyes. but to him, it was the way he looked at you when he was memorizing all the little reasons he adored you, and it was getting harder for him to pretend it wasn't more than just simple adoration.

"question," he started, eyes darting away from yours as he licked his suddenly dry lips and swallowed quickly.

"pasta," you said immediately, pulling your phone to your chest as you gave him your biggest, most convincing eyes before a finger came up to demonstrate a point. "and before you say that's not a breakfast food, i would like to remind you that it is 2pm and i had to sit through a hundred of your italian food puns yesterday despite ratatouille being set in france."

he laughed, and you gave him a confused look. "we can get pasta, but that wasn't the question."

your eyebrow quirked. "what other question could you possibly ask me right now?"

unknowingly, joshua let his face settle into the same look he was giving you less than a minute earlier. "would you want to move in?"

your eyes ran over his face repeatedly, trying to register how serious he was as you considered the idea of staying in this comforting bed and presence for the indefinite future, and even you couldn't hide how nice that sounded. the only thing stopping you was that you couldn't bear to leave karol alone. you had been living together for over four years now, she had been your first roommate in korea, your best friend for years, and an inexplicable source of quiet but understanding comfort for you.

"i understand," joshua assured you, placing his hand over yours after you expressed your hesitation. "i don't know what i'll do with myself when krys decides to move out."

you nodded, studying his face but mind wandering to other things. "krys," you hummed, and he eyed you.

"what genius plan is that brain brewing?"

you shook your head, brushing the thought out of your mind - the thought that krys had said something about needing to find a new place soon. the thought that she had said she was never gonna properly grow up when josh was taking care of her, whether she wanted him to or not. "nothing."

but it wasn't nothing. it was a compromise - you and krys would swap leases.

"are you sure?" you asked her, elbows on the island as krys ate the donuts you had anxiously made that morning. you had brought up the idea to her days before, and she excitedly agreed, but something about it felt too easy to you.

"yes," she assured you, wiping her bottom lip clear of powdered sugar. "i swear, i'm sure. how many times do i have to say it?"

you chewed your cheek. "i don't want you to feel like i'm kicking you out."

"you're not kicking me out," she said matter of factly. "i'm moving out. it just happens to be the same day as you're moving in."

you pouted. "and you're moving into my apartment."

"yeah," she said, nodding. "i get to pay lower rent and have south facing windows in my room. i should feel bad about kicking you out."

it took almost a month to organize everything, but by early december you were just waiting for the date. you purposefully scheduled for a weekend, in order to not disrupt krys' streaming schedule and your video uploads, since you had planned to do a separate moving vlog about safely packing tableware. the weekend before, krys came over to her soon-to-be home for your usual monthly brunch.

flipping pancakes that day felt a little somber, knowing it was the last time you'd be cooking brunch while living with karol. you had been with her for four years, and it felt surreal that you were finally parting ways like this. not only that, but you were moving in with a guy. the idea itself scared the shit out of you - cohabitating with someone other than karol. you'd be sharing a room. sharing a kitchen. sharing all of your space - normally, that would scare you away from agreeing, but something about joshua made you feel safe. he made you feel like you would never try to get back the distance you generally held so dear.

months ago, the idea of sharing space like that while trying to decompress would be unimaginable, but recently, you found alone time with joshua just as healing as alone time with yourself, so the idea of being able to snuggle into his side every night actually put a warm feeling in your stomach. you looked at your friends, who were laughing and drinking bloody marys as you tried to keep up with their conversation. your brain swirled, and you looked back down at the strawberries you were cutting, suddenly realizing you had never felt that way about a boy before.

"woah, you okay, babe?" krys bobbed her head downwards to check your face. "are you crying? i thought only onions did that to you."

you threw your head back, sniffling noisily trying to force the tears back under your ducts. karol stood. "oh, my god, what's wrong?" she frantically put down her drink and rushed around the counter to your side.

"wait, yeah-" krys shook her head rapidly, then reached over to take the knife out of your hand, her face creasing into a worried pout. "what's going on?"

you gathered yourself, embarrassed at how quickly you had cried so hard over such a stupid realization. you almost laughed, realizing what a scene you were making. you never cried. you weren't even sure either of them had seen it before now, yet you were ugly sobbing over something that they all probably already knew.

you swallowed harshly, clearing your throat. "i think i'm in love with josh."

krys and karol always knew you didn't truly care about the gender of your hypothetical partner, but that you had avoided men for a reason other than your attraction to them. they knew you gravitated towards women for practically your entire friendships with either of them, they knew that you never liked to get genuinely drunk and instead took care of the rest of them, and they knew you had never been very interested in sex. these were all known facts about you, and your friends understood that you kept the reasons for these facts close to your chest. they respected that.

but you finally wanted to share why. and the why was your ex.

when you had imagined telling your closest friends about your trauma, this certainly wasn't the situation you expected - crowded around the kitchen counter as your pancakes went cold, and only because you had burst into tears. it wasn't the right place, you thought, for you to talk about how he got you drunk. how you were practically asleep. how you tried to push him away but your body was weak with intoxication and you were powerless against him. someone you trusted. someone you loved.

you had always been the type to fight your own battles. you could stand up for yourself without difficulty, yet he made you scared of men. of what they could do to you. he reminded you that despite your effort to air on the androgynous, you had a body that some people might enjoy against your will. he made you want to hide everything about you and your body, wearing baggy shirts and oversized hoodies every chance you got, avoiding the unwanted gaze of men.

but recently, you've been wearing shorts more. you cropped some old shirts you never got use out of anymore to wear to your weekly yoga class. you had even bought a schoolgirl outfit for exactly one purpose, which had been entirely out of your comfort zone until roughly two months prior, but you had happily worn to please a man.

but in your defense, joshua hong was not like most men.

his appreciation of your body never felt predatory, and it always felt like it was bested by his appreciation of your mind. he didn't treat you like a prize, or like you were his for the taking. he appreciated your body as yours. while you may have found yourself the subject of his desire, you were never an object, and it had been a long time since you had felt comfortable wearing the clothes you liked in favor of opting for whatever would hide the most skin.

krys was crying. karol was too, but she was more focused on hugging you tight as you wiped off the tears that had trailed down your face. krys rounded the counter, loudly vocalising how much she loved you and everything about you, and you laughed out loud as she let out an exaggerated wail.

"actually, though," she said, pulling away slightly and sniffling. "drop the address. we're rolling up on this guy tomorrow."

you laughed again, wiping at your face when your arms were free. "wouldn't even know where to find him now."

"good!" karol declared. "fuck that guy! cut him out! you're a bad bitch!"

krys pouted. "i'm really happy josh helped you heal."

you stared at her for a second, registering that she must have been right. you eyes swam over the counter, thinking about all the times he had helped you feel more comfortable with yourself. with everything. enough to let someone in. enough to love. "i guess that's what this is, huh?"

karol cleared her throat. "so, you love him."

a grin broke out on krys' face, and your eyes immediately rolled. "you love him."

"you love him so bad."

"you wanna marry him and make adorable little hong babies."

"oh my god," you said, pressing the backs of your hands into your eye sockets, annoyed laughter on your lips as they bounced off each other. "you guys suck."

joshua started acting… odd. that was the only way you could describe it. there was nothing specific you could name - maybe the way his eyes were moving slightly too quickly from side to side? or maybe it was the way he inhaled a little extra when you asked him what was up, only for him to push his lips into an exaggerated pout and insist that nothing was. whatever it was, it made you watch him a little bit longer, your eyes squinting slightly more than usual.

you called him the day before, asking if you could bring some stuff over in hopes of making the next day as easy as possible, but his response was quick and surprising.

"what do you mean, no?" you laughed, putting down the wooden tray you were deciding the fate of. "do you have a girl over?"

you could hear him faltering on the other end. "and what if i did?"

"good luck getting her to make you breakfast."

he laughed. "i'm kidding. i have a guy over."

"oh?" you asked. "jeonghan?"

"shut up," he chuckled out. "i'm having something installed, but it was supposed to be a surprise."

"joshua," you reminded him, thinking of what the hell he could have meant by something. "i don't do surprises."

"you do now."

you groaned, a palm landing on your counter. "what is it?"

"a sex swing," he said plainly, as though that were the most obvious fact that you could have questioned, and you practically choked on your laughter, not even letting him confirm that he was joking before you were folded over your counter. and quite frankly, you could not wait another day to let him make you laugh like that as a routine.

you finally seceded, but you were glad when joshua arrived - the suv he rented loaded with krys' things - because it was a signifier that the distance between you and said surprise was shrinking quickly. soonyoung had become a surprisingly helpful voice of reason as you went through your piles of tablewares, telling you which ones to leave behind and which ones to take with you. seokmin had even arrived not long after the suv in his own car, a few brightly colored belongings in his backseat. you and karol exchanged a look when you realized he had volunteered to help krys move, but said nothing out loud, knowing she would do nothing but deny the obvious.

after yours and krys' affects were swapped in the car, you looked around one last time before telling josh you thought that was it.

"wait!" krys faltered, realizing she didn't have a good reason to stop you. "i- uh,"

"they know there's a surprise waiting for them," he said, digging the rental keys out of his jacket pocket.

karol looked to you. "do you know what it is?"

"of course not," joshua stated proudly before you could respond. "i'm like a steel trap."

you laughed. "that's definitely not how that phrase is meant to be used."

he raised a brow at you. "that doesn't change the fact that you could never get that info out of me."

"they absolutely could," karol said.

"for sure," krys agreed.

"i just wanted to let you have this," you admitted.

joshua looked between the three of you with his jaw slightly dropped, and seokmin put a hand over his mouth while crossing his arms to disguise the almost laugh on his lips.

"well, i want to see your reaction," krys decided. "so i'm coming."

"wait," soonyoung asked, putting down the retro boombox he had been investigating, among the other things that had been brought from the loft. "like, the surprise?"

"does everyone know about this but me?" you asked, hands hitting your sides in exasperation.

seokmin looked at you with wide, confused eyes. "i don't."

you lifted your hands in a vague prayer towards him. "thank you for your solidarity."

"i wanna see your face, too!" soonyoung said, ignoring you both. "you're gonna freak."

"joshua," you started, turning to him with a look of dread on your face. "what the fuck did you get?"

"i told you!" he exclaimed. "a sex swing!"

there was an excruciatingly long second of silence, making your palm land directly on your face - just above your eye - before seokmin let out a surprised, "a what?"

"he's kidding," you announced, much to the teacher's relief. "and if he's not we're breaking up."

it was decided that the entire party would move to the loft for the surprise reveal, and you watched your friends pile into seokmin's car with your palms sweating slightly and your molars gently gnawing at the fleshy party of your cheek. because, truly, you didn't handle receiving gifts well when you knew what they were, but you didn't have a single clue as to what could be waiting for you in your new home, and that made you a little nervous to have an audience for your possibly piss poor reaction.

joshua's hand found yours on the drive to the apartment. "you okay?"

you blinked and looked over at him, his eyes catching yours between glances at the road. "i don't do surprises."

"so you've said," he nodded. his fingers squeezed at yours lightly and you exhaled. "do you want to know before we go in? you can just act surprised."

your felt your face soften, registering what he was offering you. "joshua, you don't have to do that-"

"i know," he said. "but if it makes you more comfortable, then…"

"no way," you said. "i'll just stop being a baby. you set up a surprise, the least i can do is participate the way you want me to."

he eyed you, then the way you laced your fingers with his. "but you are a baby."

you rolled your eyes. "shut up, no i'm not."

"my baby," he clarified, and you let out an involuntary giggle.

he was guiding you into the kitchen, his large hands placed over your eyes and covering most of your face by proxy, and you didn't quit your playful complaints for the crowd of your closest friends that had gathered around, their presence obvious despite your vision being impaired.

"ready?" joshua asked.

"josh, i literally hate surprises, do we have to do all this?"

"yes," he said frankly. "because i'm doing something nice for us and you're going to love it so can you shut up and let me do this the way i want to like you told me you wanted me to?"

you paused, hearing the way your friends stifled their laughter as you took in a deep breath.

"ready?" he repeated.

"yeah, i guess," you sighed.

the light was harsh when his hands left your face, and you blinked repeatedly at the kitchen that you spent countless hours in, registering what was different. then, it suddenly clicked, the stovetop joshua had always had was replaced by the blue vintage styled range of your dreams.

"joshua!" you gasped, hands going to your face as you spun to look at him, then back at the range. "you bought me a lacanche?!"

he grinned, hands snaking around your waist from behind as you stood frozen in place. "i bought us a lacanche."

seokmin leaned over to krys. "what's a le conch?"

she reached up and put a finger over his mouth, eyes fixed on you. "shh, they're communicating."

you rushed over to the range, joshua following behind you as you ran your hands over the polished chrome handles that you had stared at on the website for years. "and it's all hooked up?"

he nodded, eyes on you with a smile on his face. "tested it last night."

"without me?" you asked, incredulous.

he laughed. "i didn't want to ruin the surprise by burning the loft down directly after."

your finger fidgeted on the handle, looking over to joshua. he gestured for you to go ahead, and you pushed and spun the knob, lighting a burner and squealing. you shut it off again before launching yourself into a hug.

"joshua!" you wailed, arms wrapped around his neck as he laughed, putting his around your waist. "i love it so much ican'tbelieveyouboughtusafucking lacanche range in portuguese blue for no goddamn reason!"

"there was a reason!" he laughed, letting you pull away slightly to study his face. "it's a housewarming gift. i want you to know this place is yours, too, now."

you did your best to suck the tears back into the ducts they belonged in, trying to not show just how much the gesture meant to you in that way, but you were sure one escaped down your cheek when your hands went to the base of his skull, pulling him into a kiss. you forgot the context of the move. you forgot about your friends that had been excitedly crowded in your new kitchen, anticipating your over the top reaction to what they saw as just a new stove. you, however, were overwhelmed by the specifics - the fact that he had picked the color you chose most often when building your hypothetical dream stove on the website you frequented more often than you would ever admit. the fact that it matched the details on the tile of his kitchen backsplash, a detail you hadn't even noticed when you were looking at them online. the chrome vintage knobs, the layout of the burners - everything was exact to what he had seen you dream about, and you couldn't help but feel overwhelmed by the love and care that expressed, hoping you could tell him just how much it meant by working your lips against his.

"ok, gross," krys announced, looking away when the two of you didn't pull apart. "i'm saying goodbye to my wallpaper and we're leaving. would anyone else like to pay their respects?"

seokmin raised his hand, his eyes on the ceiling, and krys grabbed his arm and retreated towards the hall, karol telling them to hurry as soonyoung put up a hand to obstruct his view of you and joshua. when you finally pulled away, it wasn't for their reprieve, though they reacted as though it was. it was so you could look into joshua's eyes, creased with the grin on his face as you gave him a similar one, and you couldn't wait to cook with him, on your, plural, portuguese blue lacanche range, with chrome classique handles, four gas burners, a griddle, and a warming drawer. and it would be your best brunch yet.

[olivemac]

1300 miles | chapter four | b.b.

Summary | Bucky Barnes is adjusting to civilian life, living in Brooklyn, visiting Sam in Delacroix when he can, and trying to figure out what he wants. When he meets Jo Landry, the tattooed lead singer of a New Orleans-based band, he thinks he might have found the answer. Too bad they live 1300 miles apart.

Time Frame | post-TFATWS

Pairing | Bucky Barnes x fem!oc

Rating | explicit

Warnings | mentions of combat-related injuries, alcohol use, tattoos/body piercings, coarse language, gay male character, bisexual female character, recreational/medicinal drug use (weed), pet names (doll, pretty girl, Sarge), smut [f/m, mutual masturbation, fingering, oral sex (f receiving), PIV, slight dom!Bucky, praise kink, very slight somnophilia], minor angst, and all the romance tropes/fluff because I'm a sucker for it; more warnings to come; 18+ ONLY, minors DNI

Tags | @mrs--barnes

Citation | Vernon, Justin, Dessner, Aaron, Mitchell, Anaïs. “Latter Days.” How Long Do You Think It’s Gonna Last? Jagjaguwar/37do3d, 2021.

A/N | This only took 800 years to finish. Sorry for the wait. Hope it’s worth it. Xoxo

A/N, pt. 2 | Made some very minor edits to the previous chapters – nothing that changes storyline, etc.

series master list | AO3 link | full master list

🎶 1300 miles playlist 🎶

_____

previous chapter

_____

After breakfast, Bucky returns the borrowed motorcycle to Sam and grabs his backpack from Sarah's house. Sam only badgers him about if for a few minutes.

"So, you're abandoning us for Jo?" he asks Bucky teasingly.

Bucky grunts in reply. "It's not like that," he says.

“I get it,” Sam shrugs. “After eighty years, you’re finally getting some.” Bucky glares at him. “Just remember, bros before hoes,” Sam concludes, laughing and clapping Bucky on the back. Then he adds, "Don't tell Jo I said that."

Bucky's been debating how much he should reveal when he finally says, "I really like her, Sam."

Sam smiles. "Good," he says. "You deserve someone who makes you happy."

Bucky returns the smile.

"Come on," Sam says, "I've got errands to run in town. I'll drop you back at Jo's place." Bucky tosses his backpack into the bed of Sam's truck as Sam tells him, "Just remember, we promised AJ and Cass we'd take 'em out on the boat on Saturday morning."

"I'll be there," Bucky says.

_____

Bucky stays with Jo for the next two days, wearing sweats during the day while he lounges in her apartment – something he isn't used to, just lounging – and sitting alone at the end of the bar at night, watching her serve drinks with Danny.

They're inseparable for those 48 hours. There's an impending deadline – a sense that they need to fit everything they can into the next few days before Bucky returns to New York.

He slips out of her bedroom Thursday morning, still smiling from the night before, to find her practicing yoga in her living room. Bucky stops and leans against the wall to watch Jo move from one pose to the next, his eyes lingering on her hips and backside. When she moves into downward dog, she spots him from between her legs.

“Morning,” Jo says, sinking deeper into the pose and working to keep her feet flat against the mat. She notices the smirk on Bucky’s face. “Enjoying the view?” she asks.

His smirk only grows. "I am."

She walks her hands across the mat to meet her feet and stands. Before she can turn around, Bucky is behind her, his front pressed against her back and his hands on her hips.

"Best part of the twenty-first century," he says, "is skimpier clothing." His thumbs rub upward across the soft skin of her exposed belly until they're moving beneath the band of her sports bra.

Jo laughs and turns in his arms. "Not the medical or technological advancements?"

"Nope," Bucky says, "definitely this." He pops the band of her sports bra with his thumbs, then pulls her even closer, one hand sliding down her back.

"Breakfast?" she asks.

Bucky hums. "I'd rather eat something else," he says with a smirk, leaning down to press a kiss against her neck.

Jo laughs loudly. "No," she exclaims, "you can't expect sex after you say something so cringeworthy."

Regardless, she lets Bucky lower her to her yoga mat and hover over her prone body.

"You were saying?" he smirks against her lips before kissing her.

Jo hums and snakes her arms around Bucky's neck, pulling him closer. His lips move across her jaw and collarbone down to the tops of her breasts. Bucky pushes her sports bra up carefully to reveal her breasts before taking a nipple between his teeth. Jo scratches her short nails across his scalp and holds him to her chest. He worries his tongue over the hard peak and around the barbell ends on each side of her nipple.

“Bucky,” Jo sighs, arching her back.

Bucky smiles against the skin of her stomach as he kisses lower. He likes hearing his name on her lips. After not having control of himself for so long, he likes that he has this small amount of power over someone else, this ability to make Jo fall apart so easily.

He peels her leggings and underwear down and off before lowering his face between her thighs. He blows warm air across her cunt, making her tremble.

"Open your legs a little more," Bucky says, pressing his large hands against the inside of her thighs. "Good girl," he praises as her legs fall further apart. Jo sighs again as Bucky looks up at her. "You're beautiful like this, doll," he says. Then he licks a thick stripe across her folds.

Jo keens and her back arches off the mat. His tongue meets her clit as his hands grip her thighs, holding her open. Jo reaches down and cords her fingers through his thick hair, pulling slightly. Bucky moans against her cunt and continues to circle his tongue across her clit before sucking it between his lips. Jo rocks her hips against Bucky's face, and he reaches up to take her hips in his hands and guide her movements. She pulls his hair again, harder this time, and Bucky grunts. He alternates his movements against her clit until she's coming hard against his face.

"Bucky," Jo moans, her mouth falling open.

Bucky pulls back and slides up her body. When he kisses her, she can taste herself on his lips. She snakes her hand into his hair and holds him close against her mouth, kissing him deeper.

"Favorite meal," Bucky smirks when they finally break apart.

"That's it," Jo says, laughing and pushing at his shoulders, "leave. Get out. Go." She points to the door.

Bucky laughs. "You wouldn't," he says, with mock hurt in his voice, as his fingers tickle against her sides.

Jo squeals and squirms against his onslaught. "Fine, fine," she shrieks, laughing, "you can stay! But no more of that!"

"What? No more of this?" Bucky laughs. He rolls onto his back, pulling Jo on top of him to straddle his face, and rips another two orgasms from her before he finally releases her, helps her redress, and follows her to the kitchen to start breakfast.

_____

In the late afternoon, before the bar is set to open, Jo takes her guitar out onto the balcony to practice. After a while, Bucky sets down the book he was reading and joins her. He watches cars and pedestrians pass below them on the street while Jo plays a song with a sleepy pace and melancholy lyrics on lost innocence. Bucky thinks it sounds pretty in Jo's soft tone.

Stacked yourself against the odds

Talking back to an act of God

You and your clever mouth

You were laughing when the lights went out

When Jo finishes and sets her guitar aside, Bucky pulls her chair closer to his and leans in to kiss her, cupping both her cheeks softly in his hands.

"What was that for?" she asks, smiling.

Bucky shakes his head, then says, "Sam said you had a record deal."

"So, you and Sam were talking about me, were you?" she teases.

Bucky looks sheepish, but Jo just smiles.

“Yeah, I had a record deal. Years ago. In Nashville. Then Danny got hurt, and we didn’t know for a while if he was going to make it or have long-term complications or what. So, I came home. He got better. We bought the bar. I still get to do what I love, and I get to be with the people I love,” she shrugs.

Bucky can sense a "but" coming.

“But…Danny blames himself for me not following my dreams. When the truth is, even if he hadn’t gotten hurt, I would have come home. I had an ex tell me once that I'm only happy when I'm failing." She rolls her eyes.

"And now?" Bucky asks.

“I’m just waiting to fuck this up,” she whispers.

Bucky snorts. "If anyone is going to fuck this up, it'll be me, doll," he replies. "I'm a 107-year-old ex-assassin who can barely use a smart phone and hasn't dated in eighty years."

Jo cocks her head to the side and says, "We could fuck this up to together?"

Bucky smiles. "Deal." Then he kisses her, his hand cupping the back of her head and his tongue sweeping into her mouth.

_____

When things are slow at the bar on Thursday night, Jo grabs her guitar and plays an acoustic set for the small crowd of regulars. Bucky watches from his seat at the end of the bar top, nursing his beer. The thought that this is somehow all too good to be true, that he doesn't deserve Jo or any of this, creeps back into his mind. He takes another sip of beer and clenches his vibranium fist, willing the thought away. By the time Jo's eyes sweep the bar to meet his, the thought is gone.

He follows her up to her apartment after closing time, and when the door is locked behind them, he pushes her up against it, his arms on either side of her head, caging her in. He takes a moment to admire her, her green eyes shining with a mixture of amusement and lust. He leans down and nudges his nose against hers, his breath soft against her lips.

“You gonna be good for me, doll?” he whispers.

Jo nods.

“Say it,” Bucky says, his voice dark.

“Gonna be so good for you, Buck,” Jo whispers.

Bucky smashes his lips against hers, rough and demanding. Jo moans into Bucky's mouth. His kiss is all teeth and tongue, and his hands wander to her hips and down to her thighs to lift her into his arms. He doesn't stop kissing her until he has her on her bed.

Bucky presses hot kisses against Jo's neck, then tugs her faded Nirvana t-shirt up and over her head. The rest of their clothes follow quicky until they're both naked. Bucky kisses between the valley of her breasts and licks at the tattoo beneath her sternum before taking one nipple into his mouth. His flesh hand comes up to pluck at the other nipple, and Jo cries out. Bucky pulls his mouth from her breast with an obscene pop and scratches the stubble of his cheek across her tender flesh.

Jo's hands thread through Bucky's hair, and she tugs him back up to her mouth for a kiss.

"Thought you were gonna be good," Bucky mumbles against her mouth. Jo whines. She can feel him smirking.

His hand comes up to graze against her cheek, and he kisses her softly, taking his time now. He's demanding, but gentle, and Jo feels as if every inch of her heated skin is on fire. But she wants more.

"You can be rough with me, Sarge," she whispers.

"Yeah? You like it rough?" Bucky flips Jo over onto her stomach. "On your knees," he growls, pulling her hips up.

When she's on her knees in front of him, he uses his flesh hand to push her chest further into the mattress. His vibranium hand holds her hips in place as he slides into her without warning. Jo gasps and shudders.

“You look so good taking my cock like this,” Bucky praises. His grip on her hip tightens as he guides her back and forth over his cock before holding her still and slamming into her, setting a swift pace. Jo keens and her walls flutter around him.

"Harder," she gasps.

"What do you say?" Bucky warns through gritted teeth. His right hand moves upward to tangle into her hair, wrenching her head backwards.

Jo whines, "Please."

When he pulls himself almost completely from her body, then slams back in, Jo's eyes roll to the back of her head, and she sobs. She's consumed by the feel of him.

Bucky leans across Jo's back and whispers in her ear, “You’re doing so good, pretty girl.” His right hand slips down beneath her body to toy with her clit. "Fuck, you're so wet."

Jo cries out, and her body shakes. Bucky feels the way she tightens around him.

“I got you," he whispers against her ear, "I got you.” His soft tone clashes with his rough movements and makes Jo’s head spin.

Jo comes with a cry of his name, and it sends Bucky over the edge. His vibranium hand whirs as it clenches her hip, holding her still as he spills inside her with a low groan. He falls onto his side, pulling Jo with him and holding her tightly.

“I didn’t hurt you, did I?” he asks, his voice soft.

“Not at all,” Jo replies, squeezing his hand.

He presses gentle kisses against her shoulder until she slides from the bed to clean up. Then he slips into a dreamless sleep.

_____

Jo wakes Bucky up Friday morning with soft kisses across his jaw.

"Hmph," Bucky grunts, not ready to open his eyes.

"Danny and I are going for a run," Jo says. "Do you want to join us?"

Bucky cracks one eye open to look at her. "Why?"

"Because I like you, and I like spending time with you," she says, rolling her eyes.

The corner of Bucky's lip pulls up and he opens his other eye. "No," he says, "why are you going for a run?"

"Not everyone has the metabolism and stamina of a super soldier, Sarge," she says, poking him in the ribs. “Some of us need the exercise.”

"What's in it for me?" he asks.

Jo rolls her eyes again before answering. "You can run behind me and stare at my ass in tight leggings."

Bucky hums and slides his vibranium hand down Jo's back to cup her left buttock.

“How long do we have until this run?” he asks, letting his other hand trail up and down Jo’s right side.

“Half an hour,” she answers.

“Good,” Bucky says, rolling her onto her back and hovering over her as Jo laughs.

They end up being a few minutes late to meet Danny.

When they finally emerge from Jo’s apartment, Danny is standing at the bottom of the stairs with Greta. Jo reaches out and scratches the dog behind the ears.

“Morning,” Jo greets Danny.

Danny yawns before responding, “It is indeed.”

“Late night?” Jo asks.

Bucky doesn’t hear Danny’s response. He’s too caught up watching Greta sniff his vibranium hand. When she seems satisfied with her inspection, Bucky strokes the top of her head. There was a dog at the small farm where he stayed in Wakanda, and it was nice to have the company at night when his brain wouldn’t shut off and he kept reliving everything he had done as the Winter Soldier. He wonders if maybe he should get a dog. Or maybe a cat.

“Hey,” he hears Jo say from beside him.

He turns his head to find her watching him curiously.

“Where’d you go?” she asks. “Looked like you were stuck in your head.”

Bucky shakes his head and give her a reassuring smile. “I’m here,” he replies.

“Good,” Danny says, turning toward the door, “Because we’re not gonna take it easy on you on this run, Barnes.”

Bucky sees Jo roll her eyes and smirk behind Danny’s back.

“Oh yeah?” Bucky says. “How far are we running?”

Danny’s smirk mirrors Jo’s. “On Fridays, we run until we're hungry, and then we stop for beignets,” he says.

And that’s just what they do. They run three miles in the park before heading to a local cafe. Jo grabs a table for them on the patio while Danny pops inside to order after insisting on paying; Bucky joins him to help him carry their orders. Outside, Greta laps water from the cafe’s outdoor dog bowl, then curls up at Jo’s feet and waits for Danny to come back.

When Bucky and Danny join Jo at the table, their arms laden with plates of beignets and fruit and coffees in to-go cups, Bucky sits as close to Jo as he can. She's wearing an olive-colored sports bra and matching leggings, and she shivers in the cool early morning air. Bucky hesitates before shrugging out of his hoodie and handing it to her. Jo's smile and the sight of her dwarfed by his sweatshirt is worth exposing his arm in public.

Bucky's phone vibrates from the pocket of the hoodie Jo is now wearing. She pulls it out and hands it to him. It's a text from Sam: "Don't forget about Saturday morning."

Bucky responds, assuring Sam he'll be there, and sets his phone on the table next to his plate. Jo glances down and snorts.

"Why is Sam your phone background?" she laughs.

Bucky purses his lips. "He thought it was funny. And I haven't gotten around to changing it. I'm good with tech when it comes to covert missions, not," he holds the phone up, "this."

Jo laughs again and takes the phone from his hand. She holds it in front of his face to activate the facial recognition, and then opens the camera app and takes a picture of the two of them.

Danny reaches across the table for the phone. "Here," he says, and their breakfast shifts into a photoshoot that leaves them all in stitches from laughing so hard at their own antics. Even Greta gets pulled into some photos. At one point, Jo pulls a piece of hair from her ponytail across her upper lip like a mustache, and, for some unknown reason, Bucky suddenly thinks it's the funniest thing he's ever seen.

He probably has a hundred photos on his phone now, just from breakfast. He watches as Jo scrolls through them, and when he sees one of her laughing with her head thrown back, he says, "That one." Jo smiles and shows him how to set it as his background. Bucky takes his phone from her and looks at the picture again. It's perfect.

They're almost done with breakfast, and Bucky has forgotten about his bare arm when a teenage boy approaches their table.

"Hey man," the boy says to Bucky, "You're Sergeant Barnes, right? You work with Captain America? That's so cool, man," he says, barely taking a breath. His excited energy reminds Bucky of Peter Parker. "That shit with the Flag Smashers in New York," the kid continues, "that was crazy. You're, like, a real hero, man."

He moves closer to Bucky to snap a selfie, then holds his fist out, and Bucky knocks his own fist against it, hesitantly.

"Thanks," Bucky mumbles, not used to the praise.

"Tell Captain America it's cool he looks like me," the boy says, pointing to his skin, before heading inside the cafe.

Jo just smiles at Bucky, watching the blush creep down his neck, but Danny says, "You should start charging for pictures." Jo rolls her eyes, and Danny laughs. Bucky can see the similarities between the two of them, and for a moment, he misses his own sister.

"Ready to head out?" Danny asks, breaking Bucky from his thoughts.

"Yeah," Bucky says, standing, "yeah."

When they're two blocks from the bar, Jo slows down.

“My legs are sore. Carry me?” she pleads jokingly, and before she can argue that she was only kidding, Bucky's bending down in front of her and pulling her onto his back, guiding her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck. Jo laughs.

"You're going to spoil her," Danny says, but Bucky just smiles.

Inside her apartment, Jo pulls off Bucky's hoodie and returns it to him.

"Looked better on you," he says and kisses her gently. "I need to head back to Sarah's," Bucky continues. "Sam and I promised AJ and Cass we'd take them out on the boat tomorrow morning, bright and early."

"I'll drive you," Jo responds, and she's grabbing her keys before he can protest.

_____

Bucky returns to the bar on Saturday night with Sam in tow. Jo's band is playing, and the smile she gives him from the stage when he enters the bar makes up for Sam's constant teasing throughout the day. He likes watching her like this. She’s free, uninhibited, beautiful. Too good for me, he thinks. The thought has been creeping in more and more lately.

Later that night, after Sam has left and the bar has closed, Bucky lets Jo lead him up the stairs to her apartment and into her bedroom.

"Let me take care of you," she whispers, running her fingers beneath his t-shirt. Bucky nods and allows her to strip his clothes off before he helps her out of her own. Jo maps each scar on his body with her fingers and her mouth, and Bucky's heart swells at her tenderness.

She pushes him backward onto the bed and tries to take his cock in her mouth, but Bucky stops her. He's not ready to give up that control just yet, worried he won't be able to stop himself from being too rough with her. When she straddles his hips and sinks down on his cock, he holds her hips with his hands and guides her movements. He guides her own fingers to her clit and watches as she falls apart above him before flipping her onto her back and driving back into her. When he comes, it's with a shout of Jo's name, and he drops his head against her shoulder, panting.

As he holds her while she sleeps, the thought he's been having – that he doesn't deserve this – returns, and Bucky lays awake brooding.

When Jo wakes on Sunday morning, Bucky is gone.

_____

next chapter - coming soon