#*pulls out spray bottle*

[sneakypunmaster]

👏Don’t👏Lick👏Things👏You👏Don’t👏Recognise👏

Battery acid will make your tongue go numb and taste like metal and your fingertips will go tingly btw

[arrowheadedbitch]

Konner runs into Tim's room and starts yelling at him for committing atrocities and "how could you do this! What happened to your code! There were civilians there! I thought I knew you!" Yknow, the works. And Tim's like

What are you talking about

And Conner gets all angrier and he's yelling at tim and stuff

And then tim just kinda sighs and pulls a little whiteboard out of his desk that has "Days since an evil version of myself has fucked shit up" or something like that and he erases the number under and puts 0 and is just like "Okay, let's go" super unenthusiastically . He sounds so tired and done with it.

[thewastedpotential]

Put these 4 in a room together who would be the first one crying and who would be the last one in a room?

My opinion? The first one out? Duchess. The last one in the room? Ramona.

[napping-sapphic]

Ughhh hate when i see people i used to have a crush on and my brain immediately goes …👀?

[purplecatghostposts]

Doing a Wyll Origin Run and this dialogue in particular is so FUNNY to me. It’s a Human Dialogue Option but it happening between Gale and Wyll feels canon.

Gale trying to argue they should try to turn Raphael’s deal in their favor and playing the Human card, and Wyll, one of two embodiments in the party of why you shouldn’t trust devils, shutting him down immediately.

[Dialogue Written in case it’s hard to see + id reasons:

Wyll: I’ll remind you that when dealing with a devil, you always draw the short straw.

Gale: There’s no such thing as absolute certainty.

Gale: Let me play the devil’s advocate: the man is too eager. Do not dismiss his offer out of hand.

Gale: If there’s one such quality all the denizens in the Hells embody, it’s ambition. A quality they share with many humans, come to think of it…

Wyll: Speak for yourself, Gale.

Gale: Fine— but my reasoning is this.]

[i-like-books-and-women]

There's a spray bottle in the Saturday house that's not for the cats but for each other.

[crystal-grotto]

//Sturm, why are you feeling spicy?

[quietlyblooms]

i fear we’ve got a feral chiyo on our hands 😔

[i3utterflyeffect]

https://youtu.be/5Uh7BqePQFo?si=XFpSrlmwx_hLP7F1

Hey look this person seems to be doing a rain world animated thing with voice actors

i would volunteer but i can't fucking stand hearing my own voice :') it's one of my main dysphoria points

[mandiemegatron]

Bestie I hope you know I saw that "#no beta for this - we die like men" tag and my first thought was "#no beta we die like Ace" 😹

YOU ARE GROUNDED, ZUKA.

GROUNDED!

[compatiissante]

aggressively cleans her glasses. she's not thinking about the teeth. she's not. absolutely not.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

brilliant brilliant brilliant I say!!!

"why do we even have that lever" is made funnier by the fact there are only 2 levers to begin with (disguised as a pair of tusks on a statue)

i find the implications hilarious:

kronk only had to remember the location of one lever, and couldn't even manage that

but on the other hand, it's easy to get two identical unlabelled levers confused, this one's on yzma tbh

yzma only needed to make one lever to begin with, but she actively chose to turn the second tusk into a functioning trapdoor. she could have just...just not connected the second tusk to anything. it didn't need to have a function

upon reflection, this also answers the question itself: "why do we even HAVE that lever?" it's because yzma herself specifically designed it as a booby trap. "why do we have that lever?" because yzma had it built to keep people out of her secret lair! yzma made the very purposeful choice to put that lever there! and then both she and her inept henchman immediately forgot about her own booby trap! yzma that is YOUR LEVER!!!!!

[teaboot]

One time my mom took me to a hibachi grill with a bunch of her friends and if you've never been to a hibachi grill basically the draw is that theres a bunch of interactive performance stuff done by the cook who cooks for you at your table, and one of the tricks they did at this one was take a squeeze bottle full of liquor and shoot it into your mouth across the table (with permission)

And now at our table my mom explained this because it was my first time going, and she wanted to make sure to warn me it was liquor because she knows I don't drink- she just said "if he offers to shoot at your mouth, say no because it's alcohol".

And so the chef does his thing and it's all very impressive, but the time does come where he pulls out this squeeze bottle of booze and asks me if I wanna try

I of course say no, because I really don't do alcohol, so he moves on to someone else

And I watch, and slowly come to understand that this is some sort of game, because once someone is drinking from the continuous flow the chef starts counting "ONE! TWO! THREE!"

I realize that we're trying to see who can keep drinking the liquor from three feet away without choking or spilling, and its a bummer cause i kinda wanna try and I CAN'T

But he goes around the table with everyone there, and I think my mom makes it to three, one friend makes it to five, I think my brother got to three as well, and he comes back to me

And I'm REALLY bummed out now but I will not drink alcohol, so I sort of sadly repeat that I can't when he pulls out a SECOND BOTTLE and grins and goes "juice?"

And Im like FUCK YEAH LET'S GO and I'm a bit worried he's gonna spray it into my eye or something but he doesn't, it hits me right at the back of the throat, and I start drinking while the whole fucking table counts "ONE! TWO! THREE!"

And like

It just sorta

Kept going?

And Im looking at the chef and he starts freaking out by the time we get to six, and at around seven I kinda start looking around and my auntie is staring back in shock, my brother is laughing his ass off and my mom has her face in her hands

And then at like nine or ten it gets like. Super tense and quiet, and only the chef is still counting

And I guess it got too much for even him cause we're at eleven and I don't believe in quitting early and it is almost painful how awkward it's getting

So he cuts me off at twelve and raises his hands in the air and everyone else cheers and claps like a dumb movie

and I just sit back in my seat to look back at my mother staring at me surrounded by everyone she knows, bright fucking red in the face and choking with honest to god tears in her eyes and she puts her face back in her palms and starts chanting "I don't want to know. I don't want to know. I don't want to know"

So I give her the biggest, proudest grin and tell her, "I won."

So now every time something suggestive happens in a movie, or in conversation, or something shocking happens around us and she goes to jokingly cover my ears, I just ask her, "Remember when I won?" And she goes face-down and groans, because I know EXACTLY how she thinks I trained to develop that particular skill and she HATES knowing that about me

The truth is though, I'm a whole ass 28 year old virgin. I've never so much as kissed anyone in my life. I had no idea I could do that trick until that exact moment

But she doesn't know that, and I'm never gonna tell her

[fingertipsmp3]

Also I have managed to sunburn one arm and both knees 👍🏻

[sparklehoard]

Goes to a pet free crew house for work

Everything smells like dog

[delcat177]

I don't have huge issues getting medication since switching doctors, but once in a while I'll get behind in paperwork visits etc and the well will briefly run dry, and I'll get a few days to study myself outside of usual working parameters

Waiting on my one benzo and my brain is like. I'm over here in the corner going "okay time to do one thing, like, one singular thing, we put the phone down and get some sleep, you were all about this in the middle of the day"

And my brain takes that notion and goes

And I go God damn it brain and I try to think it out, because brains are cats, they have their reasons, and they're usually simple

Humans hate simple reasons, we think they're too obvious so they can't be right, so when I go "right, it has sleep phobia except when it's really really tired and even then" or "it really wants to play a new video game it heard about instead, because that's more fun than sleep and sleep phobia" or "endless distraction box" somehow seem...dumb, because how can you be that right and it not *fix* things?

Because brains are cats, they do not listen to logic, because your logic is "knowing a thing should solve the thing" and that logic sucks, actually

I was going somewhere and then my brain pushed that off the table too, sorry folks my refill's getting in soon