#*points around* i cant control my obsessive thoughts

[sasoxichomoshi]

thinking a lot about goddess hunter and how it is somehow implied in the game, it's such an important concept for me you know

[spoilers ahead]

when fashioning this new look for hunter the things i kept in mind were silhouette, aesthetic and storytelling

silhouette

looking at the characters of the game all the humanoids, esp godslayer and hunter, have simple yet solid outlines, nothing wow but get the job done (godslayer is very strong in this point since he's always present with a high character/background contrast)

when doing this kind of study i just block the format of the character from different perspective poses, but for my surprise hunter already had one ingame and it has very helpful to see not how i could read hunter, but how the devs see her

she's basically boots, "skirt" and a long ponytail, pretty simple

aesthetics

this part is actually more intertwined with storytelling than i give credit for but i want to make storytelling about another more specific topic,in short the aesthetic is already established ingame

hunter is undoubtedly sided with the tall ones, so it would not be strange if her godly appearance resembled the many priests we see dead all over the island (hunter is in fact pretty much a priestess if you think about a bit, wears the spirit mask, communicates with the tall ones, is a spirit walker, and there's another aspect to it that i will discuss later)

some of them have a circular plate on the head with an eye in the center; they wear the spirit mask and have head and all face covered; they wear some kind of robe, baggy pants and simple shoes and have most part of the body covered as well with hands as exception, they also use jewellery near the mask/head and (im not sure if all of them or just some) wear a cape

(also idk if it is just a impression of mine, but the priests models feel big compared to let's say the working/simpler people, they feel >tall< which, if true, would highlight even more their proximity to the divine, the tall ones, and even explain why they are represented taller than other humans in murals)

this is where i start expanding the closet, it's a bit straight forward when thinking about what to adapt to hunter, the robe reads very similar to hunters silhouette and she also wears the spirit mask, another important aspect is that she also covers her face, the jewellery has also a nice touch

the eye plate on top of the head unfortunately dont read well nor i think speaks to hunter, the cape is no novelty and doesnt help hunter particularly (and i had a cooler idea for her hehe)

storytelling

i want hunter to reflect who she is and what she's part of, ofc most part of the aesthetic part already does this, but there's another essencial aspect, her color palette

it's has been the hardest topic so far for me cause hunter base colors dont reflect a lot? (probably i just didnt get what they mean just yet)

she is mainly black/red on what i think is a 45/45 perhaps too even proportion and white/blue on a 5/5 proportion

for my goddess hunter i take the idea of godslayer and hunter being parallels to each other very serious, so they partake in similar aspects almost all the time and "differences" occur because of correlative nature between the two (example: if godslayer has this orange accent, then hunter's should be blue (complementary))

another aspect that i consider is how divinity is seen in the island: if you give another look at the priests, you can see they are quite similar to godslayer, but plot wise what happens is the inverse

godslayer is the one that looks similar to the priests bc that's HIS (and the people of the island) reference of what is considered elevated, but he also is distinct because his divinity is distorted, just look at his head, it is twisted compared to the priests, probably based of his own view of what was godly

another little but interesting fact is the face covering, it's something that commoners dont do (not even godslayers "priests", probably because the only holy one was godslayer himself and no one else), the only ones that cover the face are the tall ones priests, godslayer... and hunter

(*cough cough* remember when i said she was implied to be a goddess? i told you)

objectively all of this represents godhood and so i wanted it to make it a big part when thinking about my hunter

eventually i reached this take (but it could have gone anywhere really): i made hunter very similar to godslayer, for a couple of reasons (ba dum tiss)

i will be totally honest to say that it was an easier approach to it cause most of the idea is already settled in an established character, so you can just take it and make small transformations, but i had other reasons too

most important, narrative parallels between godslayer and hunter, they are two characters that fundamentally are not that different, tho in the surface being almost opposite forces, and this is precious to me, so their appearances should reflect that

less relevant but also impactful is that, no matter what, this human godhood is portrayed as bad, even if it's a good person, in hunter's case; it's unnatural and should not happen (and when it happens it's an exceptional occurrence), by making hunter look like godslayer i also include a bit of this meaning too (and that in the end not even hunter is immune to corruption)

at last, all this rambling got me this result

there's still a lot of room for improvement but for early explorations i think they are enough

in short, i redistributed hunter color palette, making the black/red proportion around 15/80 and the other 5 are split between white and blue (just in the eye really) and her clothes are mostly based on the priests (bc after all she's the tall ones frend :D) and the rest is just godslayer 2.0 really

all of these fill the silhouette topic but the cherry on top came when i had the idea of using a piece of cloth to replace her long ponytail cause it's one of her main marks >:3

now i need to draw her with the moon bow to make the complete package

[gatorbites-imagines]

Ok so I know you said you have been unmotivated with smut lately, but you don't have to write this if you don't want to. But basically it's Scott summers x male reader where they are best friends, maybe they have some secret feelings that they have never confessed too. So male reader decided so bite the bullet and confess with out confessing, and is like " you know a few bounces on it never hurt a friendship", ( lol like the meme) and smut ensues.

Scott Summers x Mutant male reader

Headcanons

Readers got electrokinetic and magnetic powers, because I couldn’t think of anything original, and ice powers are already yoinked up by Bobby. So, ice cold head is gonna be saved for another day.

I feel like my Scott obsession shines through in this… enjoy some longer work

Feedback wasn’t the most original or coolest sounding name, but hey, it had been Scott’s idea, and you had a soft spot for him from the very beginning. So, Feedback it was. Seeing how Scott puffs up a little when you explain he came up with the name almost makes up for Logan picking on you for it.

Being great friends with Scott, makes most people assume you are a hardass like him. And yeah, you have your moments. You see how much Scott stressed about keeping everyone safe, as well as dealing with the US government and the likes, so yes, you take it seriously.

Your lightning powers lead you to also bond with Ororo, though you are not completely at her level. You cant control the weather, but you sure as hell can use electricity and lightning, and you’ve learned how useful it can be.

It took a lot of training, but who else can paralyze a person without it being lethal as easily as you can? Or fry most electronics or vehicles, even guns and other weapons? You are at least a little proud of your powers.

And maybe it has to do with the fact that Scott always seemed to preen, at least a little, with pride whenever you show how far you’ve come. You are the exact same with him, and your “broship” is kind of a thing in the X-men

To the point where the entire mansion, or island if its on Krakoa, get tense and start tiptoeing around when you two are fighting or arguing. Seeing you two not talking and avoiding each other is as uncomfortable as seeing Deadpool around, except its worse.

It always leads to some of the others, typically the younger mutants, trying to set up some kind of heist you get you two to get along again. Most of the times it fails, but the failure is what brings you together again, in a sense.

You also typically give Scott small zaps with your powers, to get his mind off whatever he’s too focused on. or the times where he lets you run light electricity through his muscles when they bunch up. Him groaning and huffing in relief is only an extra on top of the cake, since you already get to fondle his back.

Your feelings for Scott aren’t as much of a secret as you wish they were. Charles knew almost the very moment he met you. Apparently, you used to project your thoughts quite a lot, and he was growing tired of seeing your fantasies.

After that you got better at hiding. You especially worked hard to suppress and hide it when Scott got together with Jean. Yeah, it hurt your heart, but you never really thought you two would be more than bros.

But to show Jean some respect, you get less touchy and grabby with Scott. In the past you might have smacked his ass after training, or groped his pecs and arms, making some excuse about his gains. But with Scott in a relationship, it didn’t feel right.

Scott did the same thing with you, but… it was only because you did it first, right? So, its not like hed notice. Obviously, he does, Scott being so vigilant about the people around him means it takes him less than a month to be completely sure you’re avoiding him.

That doesn’t mean he says anything. Instead, he just kinda lets it stew. The relationship between you grows… tense in a way. Its not like you two are arguing, but you are trying to pull away enough to wash away whatever feelings you have, and Scott is sure you hate him for some reason, and he doesn’t know why.

In the end its actually Jean that confronts you about it, much to your embarrassment. She’s surprisingly kind about it, or you guessed it wasn’t surprising. Jeans an amazing woman, which was why it was no shock she swooped in and caught Scott’s heart.

Jean knows all about your feelings, but also Scotts. Scott loves her, very much so. But he loves you just as much, he just hasn’t realized it yet. Scott easily just pushes those feelings aside as platonic, or some deep loyalty to his best friend.

So, what if he sometimes has dreams about you holding him down and fucking him so hard he needs his visor, since his shades would be sent flying. Or his regular dream of you using small sparks of electricity to play with him.

But somehow Jean saves the situation. Being able to read minds is great, since it makes her feel safe and secure in her relationship, enough to know that you are both good men, and that you’d never act on your feelings with her in the picture.

This is how it continues for a while. Scotts with Jean, and you have some flings of your own. Over the years you kind of have a thing with Logan, then Warren, and a kind of “ill scratch your itch if you scratch mine��� with Remy when he and Anne Marie have their moments.

And yeah, maybe there’s a couple of others on that list that you don’t speak too much about it. Its not your fault Deadpool can be weirdly charming and handsome sometimes. And that one time with Magneto is not something you’ll ever mention, to anybody. You get a feeling Charles knows about it though. You have a feeling Magneto told him.

All in all, you never end up with a long lasting “official” relationship. Its kind of hard to give your heart to someone else when Scott still has his name printed across it in big letters. You’re not like Scott, whose heart is big enough to fit multiple people

What you have with other people is always just casual and never means anything. Well, you do get closer to Logan. Its… a weird situation. He still has a thing for Jean, and you have a thing for Scott, and you help each other out when times get tough.

You thought Scott was gonna kill you when he caught you chewing on a cigar. It’s not like you were gonna smoke it, but seeing him huffing and puffing about you chewing on one of Logans cigars made your pants a bit too tight for comfort.

It really doesn’t help that Scott bulks up over the years. Logan may still call him slim, but there’s nothing slim about him. So, there might be more grope to the smacks you give his ass sometimes, how can you not, it’s so… grabble.

And you are always too distracted by his just… soft and big he is back there, hes even got butt dimples man. It means you never notice how Scott might just arch his hips back a little, or the way his thighs twitch when the excess electricity runs from your fingers into his skin.

Sure, him for thinking about those fingers inside him, its normal. He thinks. Its not his fault you have really nice hands, and the way electricity crinkles around your fingers is way too hot sometimes.

You once licked the electricity off your fingers, the sparks jumping from your fingers to your tongue. Scott knows its just for fun, or be a dick, but god does his front and back twitch think about it.

How you confess can happy in many ways. But the main factor is that Scott and Jean are no more. Maybe shes died, like she does in some comics. Or maybe they just broke up since they grew apart.

But one way or another you just confess. Maybe its after one of your rolls in the hay with Logan, and Scott finally doesn’t have Jean to redirect his attention too and his jealousy boils over. It leads to an argument, with you just spilling that you slept about because you couldn’t have him.

It hurts, after the confession leaves you. You’ve kept it tight inside you for years at this point, and seeing Scott just freeze up makes you feel even worse. You just get your keys into your hands with a flick of magnetic energy, before Scotts upon you.

The floors really uncomfortable, and the air is knocked out of your chest, especially as he places his bulk on top of you, Scotts hands on either side of your head.

Even with the visor giving off its usual red glow, Scott couldn’t get more handsome. The quiver in his lip and how he keeps nipping at its insides. “Scott…” you breath out, hands twitching at your sides, wanting nothing more than to settle on his nice, plush with muscle, hips.

Kissing Scott was everything you had ever imagined, and more. He tasted like the coffee hed been drinking, the brand you always hated but still bought because it was Scott’s favorite. The one he would always brew too strong, and never add any sugar or creamer too.

And yet, as his tongue rolled against your own, you couldn’t think of anything more delicious. It felt more like you two were trying to eat each other, to see who could devour the other one first after being starved for so long.

Any other time you might have been embarrassed about how wet and slick your kissing was, and just how loud it was. It seemed to ring through the empty room, Scotts hands already pulling at your shirt as you allow yourself to truly grope and feel that plump ass of his.

Youd touched Scott many times before. Hell, you’d even touched him naked here and there. But those times had been for medical reasons, or that one time to keep hypothermia at bay. This felt so much more intimate, so much… more.

The lamps in the room flickered as Scott pushed himself up to get fully undressed, your irises lighting up as you finally got to just stare. He was so hard, and with him standing above you he felt like a god, in his own way. You must have said this out loud, since Scott blushed and dragged you up.

It felt like being a virgin again, tumbling into bed and kicking off what clothes you had left on, hands groping and exploring. When it came to men, you had a lot more experience. You honestly only had experience with men.

That didn’t mean you almost didn’t bust on the spot when Scott sat himself down in your lap again, nothing between him and your cock. You couldn’t see it, but you could feel how his ass just draped around you, the smirk on Scotts lips so cocky you almost wanted to smack him.

With that thought, your body seemed to respond. Youd never really shot electricity from your crotch before, but the loud high-pitched yelp from Scott told you just that had happened.

You immediately wanted to apologize, fearing you had ruined the mood. A violent shudder ran through Scotts body, a deeper more guttural groan leaving his body as he rocked against you, precum spilling from him like a faucet. That had felt better than hed ever imagined.

The world felt like it was shrinking more and more until all you could think of was Scott Summers, and how felt against you. How he felt around your fingers as you stretch him open, and the loud wails of want he lets out, when you let the smallest flickers of electricity zap from your fingers to his prostate.

Youd always had a code of sorts, that your partner at least had to finish once, preferably twice, before you would enter them, or let them enter you. And with Scott it was so easy to wring them out of him. You almost wanted to just keep milking him for all he was worth.

Recognizing the look in your eyes, at least somewhat, had Scott tapping his foot against your tip, which was enough to remind you of how hard you really were, and how sensitive.

It gave Scott enough time to flip you onto your back, and with a recklessness you wouldn’t see from him every day, he just sank down on you.

All that working out made it easy for Scott to ride you, his thighs and hips working in harmony, his fingers digging into your pecs as you both groan and huff, letting out noises neither of you had ever let out before.

Kissing Scott as he rode you was a pretty name for it. in reality it was more just your open mouths pressed together as you both panted and drooled, tongues just rubbing together every now and then.

Having edged yourself until now meant you didn’t last long. As Scott shoved you over the edge your vision went white, and you had a feeling the popping noises you heard were the lightbulbs around the room.

It felt like Scott was draining your very soul of your body through your dick, his behind was diabolical. Part of you wanted to joke about him doing some other kind of training without telling you, but your teeth still felt like they were made of static, so all you could do was groan and gasp.

The high-pitched noises from Scotts mouth still registered to your fuzzy hearing, and the splatters of white against your torso made something inside you settle, knowing he had finished too.

The air was knocked out of your chest again as Scott slumped against you like a puppet getting its strings cut. The only noise in the room was the sound of your shared panting and wheezing, as well as the faint buzz of the ruined lightbulbs.

“you’re paying for that…” Scott finally mumbles breathlessly against the side of your neck. A snort leaves you, head still feeling like a thunderstorm and tv-static as you work your arms shakily around him. “Fine… but I’m picking the brand” you reply, voice slurred and tongue floppy in ways you hadn’t experienced in years.

Scott clearly wanted to laugh at your state, but he wasn’t much better himself. He couldn’t feel his legs, and it wasn’t completely because of the zap of electricity you’d sent through his entire body, as much as it was just how good it had felt.

You both needed to cool down, and maybe a nap. And then a good, long, cold shower. Scott lazily mentally noted down that he needed new sheets and lightbulbs, but not much else happened. For once his head felt blissfully silent, in the way only you could make it.

[conswayo]

Hi, love your art so much!!! Do you wanna talk more about your traitors revival AU? If you have any more thoughts you want to share I am so interested 👀 👀 👀

YEA OF COURSE!!! i always have thoughts swirling around my head about these guys

the specific art is technically not really part of yhe au im making with the comic, but basically when evbo achieved godhood and gave his champion boots to emf, the two gradually started spending less time together(because of duties and responsibilities) and evbo started to crave emf. Like start to be infatuated with him because he cant have him the way he did when he was champion.

at one point it gets to intense that it becomes an obsession, thats when evbo revives seawatt from parkour afterlife to have him by his side. seawatt reminds evbo of emf in a variety of ways(golden grown, same smile, same purple hues) and as a result evbo starts having a situationship(?) with Seawatt. he showers seawatt with overwhelming affection when he wants to and then half the time hes staring off to the distance watching emf and yearning a lot💔💔 seawatt in the meantime has a sneaking suspicion that hes only here to replace the person evbo truly wants, but he keeps silent because his life is in evbos hands, if he rejects he could be sent back to the afterlife, and also seawatt has never experienced so much love before, Especially from a god, so hes also afraid of losing that.

also as time goes on, evbo slowly loses some of his humanity to his godhood(first his enthusiasm, then his passion, then his emotions etc etc) so he becomes more unfeeling and distant from even emf. Seawatt is worried for him not only because this isnt the evbo he met in the control room that day, but also because this means he could be killed again. So he begs the old evbo to come back, hence the “traitors revival” art :3

the title of the drawing could go both ways tbh!!! Seawatt obviously being the traitor towards parkour civilization, but also the traitor being evbo because hes rejected everything that made what human evbo was. Seawatt is saying “come back, you traitor. come back to the evbo i used to know. You are not him.”

[dekusleftsock]

Don’t y’all love it when a popular tiktok creator is analyzing a character and interpreting it so, so wrong, and him and his dumb ass take is spreading.

Like it was one thing for you to be wrong

ITS ANOTHER THING FOR YOU TO BE WRONG AND MAKING OTHER PEOPLE MORE WRONG

If one more person says that Izuku is “underdeveloped” and that he’s “uninterested in all of his other relationships” and that he “has a power imbalance in his relationships with other characters bc they care more about him than he does them” STOP. PLEASE STOP.

A fundamental part of Izuku’s character: He is an UNRELIABLE NARRATOR. Most of his character is, therefore, told through SUBTEXT.

Izuku doesn’t say that he feels ashamed about his feelings for Katsuki.

But he does say that he thinks they’re gross.

Izuku doesn’t say that he thinks that Toga and her feelings aren’t human

But he does say that she is the “perfect counter to this quirk”.

THE LIST COULD GO ON.

Izuku is an unreliable narrator in a third person omniscient story (though sometimes mha acts more like a third person objective story? Anyway). That means that the way we do not understand the story is not through a retelling of what is happening to you, the viewer, unreliably—instead it is not telling you the full extent of his character and his thoughts.

To say “izuocha’s relationship is underdeveloped because it’s one sided” is NOT the same as saying “bkdk’s relationship is underdeveloped because it’s one sided”.

Izuku has always been obsessed with Katsuki. At some point the rhetoric being passed around was that it was Katsuki who was underdeveloped and uninterested in the dynamic. Now that rhetoric has been reversed since we’ve seen so much of Katsuki’s POV.

Ochako has always been obsessed with Izuku, NEVER THE OTHER WAY AROUND. In fact, Ochako’s arc even surrounded letting go of those feelings… as literally said in the text. Because that is a textual statement that she makes.

Izuku does not understand how or what Ochako loves in anybody, especially him. She loves a unique sense of personhood, which Izuku has always carried, and of which she saw in the entrance exam.

Izuku does not know how to view things he deems as “girly”, and Ochako very personally CANT be in a relationship with someone that she has realized is very repressed. Her friendships turn from friends to fascination very quickly, into her heroic form. (Think her few moments with Katsuki in that extra, or how disinterested she became of Izuku as she saw him run away from help, and not know how to respond to an apology. Or, hell, how much more interested she became when Himiko was honest with her feelings in their second real confrontation. She even says that she “admires how she can love so freely, and say it with her whole chest”)

LIKE ALL OF THESE THINGS. THIS IS WHY IZUOCHA ISNT DEVELOPED. That’s a purposeful choice in genius writing, at least in my opinion.

Bkdk is a result of Izuku being uninterested in acknowledging said feelings, and this is shown to be different because of the amount of times he has had that imply a deeper emotion or thought that we are not told. Think black whip, controlling your heart solely surrounding katsuki, “my feelings are gross”, the ear piercing scream when katsuki was kidnapped and the “this was a total loss” line, relaxing into katsuki’s arms after the apology, only coming home because of Katsuki, comparing romantic feelings toga had for him and admiration to ALLMIGHT and not katsuki who was “actually in his life”, I COULD GO ON FOR HOURS.

This is absolutely NOT underdeveloped, this is called SHOW NOT TELL. Horikoshi is so purposeful in what he shows vs what he tells. He tells you that ochako and toga are the same, he tells you that katsuki is worried about Izuku, he tells you that katsuki is there to step in when deku can’t handle it on his own, he tells you that ochako has a crush on Izuku, and he tells you that Katsuki is Izuku’s “closest person”.

But he also SHOWS YOU SO MUCH MORE. Unreliable narration is such a key part of Izuku and his character. Izuku doesn’t understand Izuku as much as the audience doesn’t understand him. It’s why I genuinely think most interpretations of his character are wrong, because you really can’t take him at his word. It’s the same reason no one understood katsuki for the longest time, he was in the same circumstances of a character who is only showed to you, not told.

I know i named so many god damn references so if anyone is curious as to what specifically I’m talking about with what, I’ll gladly show what scene I’m referring to. Apparently I can’t remember a damn thing but this manga anyway.

[judeswhore]

Ok imagine one of your friends being excessively over the top when around Jude, and your like not really paying attention to her but she just won’t quit, she keeps on trying flaunt herself around him, but Jude really doesn’t care lol. So y’all are at your house and so are your friends and it’s movie night and you and Jude are underneath a blanket while your friends share another, you can feel your friends eyes in your direction but don’t look back just watching the movie. But in your head your like ‘let’s give her something to watch’ so you move your hand up Jude’s thigh and just palm him, he knows where this is going but it’s hella dark in the room so he’s. All for it. Just getting him off during the movie and he’s whimpering into your neck and controlling your hand movements 🤭.

Thoughts?

this made my stomach do the thing🤭she’s like borderline obsessed w him to the point she flirts constantly even tho he always turns her away or ignores her, follows him around when ur all together, makes comments abt him when ur right there like she’s overall not the best person but she’s been in ur group for so long u don’t really know what to say. but you’ve been getting sick of it recently bc more than once you’ve caught her touching him and making comments abt u and ur just tired of her being so disrespectful towards ur relationship. so movie night comes around and u and jude are snuggled up together as usual, a blanket over ur laps while the rest of ur friends are scattered around the room and she’s sat where she can have the perfect view of jude just like always. so u decide to put on a little show since she wants to stare so much. starting by just making out w him a little and he’s more than happy abt that, laughing a little into ur mouth bc “they’re gna hate us” but he’s kissing u a little bit harder. rubbing his thigh under the blanket but not getting close to his dick and that kinda frustrates him so he’s grabbing ur wrist and guiding ur hand into his shorts all “i know ur trying to piss her off, so do it properly” bc he knows how mad u are at her for the way she’s acting. so jude’s just letting u get him off and it’s all slow and lazy, his fingers wrapped around urs so he can guide u bc he wants it to be slow :(( he’s kissing u before burying his face into ur neck when he cums, whimpering so softly into the skin bc he doesn’t wna get caught but the whole time ur friends watching and ur holding her gaze while jude literally shakes next to u🤭🤭and she’s fully glaring at u and all u can do it laugh a little, turning to jude and making a joke abt the mess he’s made and he’s all “shame u cant clean it up” and after that ur friend literally refuses to be near the two of u again

[diesvitae]

once you're finished the game could you share your elgarook Thoughts? as i fellow villain fucker i also want him but i cant think of a plot that makes sense for rook and him to get together in any way shape or form akdbsj

OH HI!!! In truth now that I'm done with the game I still have to rework some points in my Elgarook timeline. But in case of Nadir and Elgar'nan... (POSSIBLE SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT)

1) Their first (solo) meeting is an attempted assassination from my lil Rook, who was probably also kinda drunk, since he attacks with a normal dagger which is... kinda useless against a god. Elgar'nan in game seems pretty chill, offering "mercy" more than once so I doubt he would be pissed at Nadir for trying. 2) Words are exchanged, Nadir is trapped and probably panicking a bit once he understands the situation he got into, he's able to flee, but there is some sort of curiosity between the two: Elgar'nan can easily sense Nadir is a mage (and a powerful one) but my lil Rook never uses magic, especially the offensive one. That's a mystery he's curious about considering it makes no sense to him (one who's obsessed with power) Nadir refuses to use his natural gifts. And this fear to use magic makes him a perfect pawn to be manipulated and guided to become someone like him. Plus it would be a nice little revenge against Solas, to steal Rook away. Nadir, while looking like this cute smug creature, is pretty insecure, he hates using magic due to hurting people by mistake each time he tried to control it. He hates acting like a hero because he can't see himself as a good person, just a cursed one. But around Elgar'nan he doesn't have to pretend to be perfect, to be controlled. Elgar'nan is the enemy, who cares about his opinion after all? And somehow that lack of care becomes a sense of freedom. So for a while they seek each other out, to learn, to test boundaries, it's a little game neither give much importance. Elgar'nan needs a hobby beyond conquering the world and Nadir needs time away from responsibilities.

That being said, despite starting a literal affair with the enemy, my Rook is beyond loyal to the team, and makes it clear he won't divulge anything which could hurt his friends or help the evanuris. Another part of their dynamic is what they gain from each other. Nadir is quite the atheist, he recognizes Elgar'nan can be considered a god, but he doesn't feel the need to worship anything or anyone. Which makes him see Elgar as a person. He's close to him not to gain godly favor, power or whatever. He simply enjoys his company and the parts of Elgar'nan which can be considered... human (wrong word XD) A person who's built empires using only his power would end up with nothing if that power were to disappear. But Nadir? He would stay. So Elgar'nan gains what it feels to get real unconditional love. On the other hand Nadir gets to be free from his fears. He doesn't have to be scared about using magic around the evanuris because he literally can't hurt them, and even if he were to... it's enemies! Technically he would be doing good by hurting them XD Plus Elly is training him! He doesn't have to act like a hero amonst his enemies. He doesn't have to act like a leader since that's a role Elgar'nan won't leave to anyone. There is also the affection which builds over time which is always nice XD (and the fucks are real good too.) In the end I want them to be like two jigsaw puzzle pieces which lock with each other perfectly despite being completely different. (And yes, Nadir is still going to kill him at the end, in a tragic and painful scene.) As for you, it depends what kind of dynamic you want! You can have your rook act as a spy, joining his side to gather his secrets only to fall for him. Or you can have Rook kidnapped only to have Elgar'nan treating them courteously. Honestly it depends on your tastes!

[ttaibhse]

i need to start up running again i haven't been in ages and i feel shitty about it but i still just don't really want to. especially now it's getting colder lol i like running in cool weather but when it's actually cold not as much. i was getting so bored of it idrk why i guess because i was running out of new routes to do... i hate running along the road and the thought of adding more distance which basically would mean adding more time on the road or just mindless loops of the parks wasn't really motivating lol. and i felt like i stopped making progress. and then i got sick and the pain in my back/hips came back for a while. and to be honest i was/am just disappointed that i wasn't losing any weight at least not perceptibly and obviously i was lying when i said the goal of it wasn't to lose weight lol. like not the only goal i did/do also want to just be a fitter and more active person and not let my bones crumble into dust by middle age whatever but ultimately i want to lose weight and it just wasn't happening. even though i wasn't intentionally eating much more to make up for the extra activity but i probably was doing it without meaning to. like admittedly there were definitely times i would be like oh i can have a bit more i did a big run today. not all the time but enough i guess. i feel like shit i hate being this size & shape i miss being skinny and the more time passes with me not being skinny it gets harder to remember the negatives that came with it. like i look back now and i know i was always cold and exhausted and obsessed with food and my whole life revolved around it like i know all that but i looked so much better -_- my clothes looked nicer. if someone took a photo of me i only had to worry about hating my face not my body as well. or not as much at least lol i always hated it i guess. but omfg my face even looks worse now because its just doughy. i cant stand it. i cant believe how fucked up i look lol

i hate writing posts like this i sound so cookie cutter stereotypical ED girl. it's so so embarrassing i can't stop feeling like this at nearly 28. im 28 in like 10 days and the first time i remember consciously deciding to stop eating to lose weight i was 10 or 11. my mum still seems to have genuinely blocked out the memories of it like any of it even though we talked about it at several different points in time when i was a teenager and i said to her what was going on and she was so angry with me like furious with me. and then again when i was an adult and just said outright because i knew i had put on weight over lockdown and i knew she thought i had just lost control of myself because she said so to my sister

so i said to her like look i was only really thin in uni because i was in like a 1.5k calorie deficit every single day. there were days i would stand up at the end of a lecture and almost black out lol so i said all that maybe 3 or 4 years ago was the last time i brought it up icr but still if the topic of eating disorders or similar comes up she will say things like "i hope youve never felt that way" LMFAO like full sincerity i swear to fucking god i dont understand. but anyway its not a great feeling knowing she thinks im fat because i just dont take care of myself. even though it is true i suppose. and every time i see my granny she comments on my weight. so anyway all that to say that's how i know it's true and it's not just in my head

like i can acknowledge that back in the day when i was something like 55kg and still thought i was huge that was some kind of dysmorphia involved. but not any more and it's just kind of a blow because i had finally started accepting this idea that i wasn't as big as i thought and now i am it's like i don't know like going backwards. like a nightmare come true or something it's literally all the bad thoughts i would have about myself are true now. i am that fat or even worse because i think i've been deluding myself i think i'm actually now bigger than i think i am. and i am lazy and eat badly and it still feels like my options are total lack of control or the tightest rein possible. theres no good middle ground i dont know how people find a middle ground. how do you eat normally lol. ive only ever been thin when i was barely eating + walking miles and miles every day AND on testosterone. i tried to do eating normally and now im so huge and i dont know what to do like logically i know there are people out there who have got it right so why cant i get it right

[call-of-ishmael]

Canto V and Ishmael's suicidal ideation

When the trailer for Canto V came out the narration over it and the tone gave me a lot of vibes of themes of suicidal ideation.

It wasnt present in the way id expect, but it was there and id like to talk about it

1. Her days prior to the Pequod

Ishmaels life before being a sailor isnt talked about much in her Canto, what we see though is pretty interesting

She expresses how she has come to hate the expectations, you work your ass off studying, getting degrees, applying to offices, to net you the job and life everyone says you should have.

A very interesting point to make is how she talks about it. The dread she feels as she expresses that thinking ahead thinking how this is gonna be her whole life, makes her feel empty.

"I didnt know if i wanted to die or if i just wanted my life to be different" [paraphrasing here] is a line we hear in this scene, however its followed up by her saying if she had to die somewhere itd be at the sea. She is unsure if what she wanted was to die, but her actions and thoughts point us that way, she frames it as where she wants her final resting place to be

2. The Pequod

Ishmael is from Ucorps Nest, The Great Lake should not be uncommon knowledge to the residents, a place full of monsters, where its known sailors who cant take it anymore jump into the waves to be free. And this is the place she wished to go to. She makes a desicion to join a ship that would take just about anyone to hunt whales.

In that gesture we see more of the previously mentioned thinking, she says shes not sure she wants to die but jumped into one of the most dangerous jobs around pretty quickly

In the Pequod she also experiences more trauma that leads her downwards even more, a controlling figure, molding everyone there into who they want them to be, a constant fear of death, endless fights against monsters, and eventually the loss of who she loved.

But its also a moment where we are shown, once she found some support, once she and Queequeg started working together towards a life goal she became determined to survive, she had a clear idea of where to go, a compass to follow. Before it was taken away.

3. Limbus Company, and Canto V

During the events of Limbus Company prior to Canto V we see Ishmael as a pretty driven person, she doesnt wanna die, at first, shes kept alive by a singular goal to find Ahab

By 4.5 and V we see this is, again, a self destructive endeavor

Her unique status effect "Compulsion" during the chapter is a way to communicate shes hurting herself constantly during this Canto, her usual ability to keep calm to not be consumed by her fears, worries, obsessions and compulsions falls apart

Ishmael at many points doesnt seem like she wants to come back alive, she willingly enters into the body of the whale only knowing she has something that can delay pallidification, not having a good plan to escape. She constantly tosses herself into danger, not caring how she gets hurt.

One of the more interesting tidbits is entering the dungeon. The first EGO gift she gains, exclusively applying effects to her, is a noose.

Its a culmination of the message, shes been hurting herself this whole time, she charges ahead, to kill that bastard, to kill Ahab. If she dies, its fine by her

And then the turning point is on the CG used for this section, another blatant gesture of letting her own life go, letting the membrane form around her, letting herself be consumed.

When shes broken out out the membrane it mirrors queequeg saving her in the past, the person who made her think of the future for once, to WANT to have a future.

Its the moment she realizes the sinners have been there for her, she has blinded herself to not think of any of the good moments, not even the ones she had with Queequeg.

She realizes shes not alone anymore

And she wants to live, somehow, she might not know how, but that hasnt stopped her before

Her compass is curiosity after all, she will find her path.

[fandomfluffandfuck]

i havent seen the inside of your ask box for ages so let me just say i finished money magic and WOAH. leave some talent for the rest of us damn. also. im going to add ‘financial domination’ to my mental list of kinks and im doing it with a sly smirk on my face because id never heard of it before this fic and i certainly will be looking for more in the future.

i genuinely think im into it only because you write it so. fucking. well. i love this community youve built where so many people can discover new kinks through your writing and it makes me so happy being able to find out new things about myself from a piece of art like this. i just love fandom sometimes.

plus i think of your blog as a haven bc i can come here anytime i want and its like someone took all the things i love about fandom and put it through your brain then onto here. a true blessing.

ok onto the fic itself, i have a few things to say:

1) i will never get over the way you build up to the climax of the fic. like, from the beginning, its always so obvious that something big is going to happen and i just can never wait until the next update to find out. i dont think ive ever skim read one of your paragraphs because every word pulls me in a makes me want moreee.

2) the way you use imagery in your work is actually something i think should be studied because you do it SO WELL. an example from chapter one that i cant stop thinking about;

His mind whirls. He’s back to spinning out of control. It feels as though his head might come off his shoulders, twisted and twisted and twisted around, thinning his neck, and becoming too unsteady.

like hello???? i can picture every tiny little detail of this moment and its insane how you can just do that.

3) the chemistry between your characters never feels forced or awkward. ive noticed that you dont use dialogue too much when writing smut and i love that because it lets the reader really visualise whats going on. but when you do its absolutely perfect. the way you kept the power dynamics going steadily throughout and even when they were talking on the balcony, it just made me realise how much you really care about what you write and it made reading so much more enjoyable.

theres literally like a million other things i could say but im not gna ramble here. instead, take some snippets that i especially enjoyed that i will think about for a long, long time:

A shiver wracks Steve’s body, accompanied by a rough exhale that fills his bedroom—a confession of how much he’s enjoying this by its very nature.

-

Steve shivers so hard it might as well be a convulsion. Good. The way his words leave no room for argument, for thought, for anything but all this electric embarrassment to fill his veins and circulate throughout his body, polluting him tip to tail. Jesus. He commands all of Steve without being there. It’s heady. He can feel himself being pulled in like a sailor, lonely after months at sea, to a siren.

-

A moan comes tumbling out of his mouth, humiliated to the point that he feels dizzy. He couldn’t stand and walk straight if he tried, he’d stumble and fall onto his knees. He wants to stumble and fall and have Bucky push his heavy hands into his hair, he wants to feel the cold metal of his rings and the blunt sharpness of his fingernails against his scalp as he grabs and pulls and twists, making sure Steve feels his place.

-

Steve imagines this is what being a pinata feels like, struck hard enough that it's twirling around its point of suspension, unable to know what’s up or down, left or right, just focused on each hit and when the next one is going to come, then, ah!, all of the sudden spilling its bounty.

-

i could put the whole fic here but you know. that’d be too long. ill just have to hope what ive said here is enough.

bottom line is that im OBSESSED and i will be taking the pleasure of rereading this fic as soon as i can. thank you so much for sharing!!! lots of love 💗

"Money Magic"

YOU ARE SO SWEET, ARCHIE!

Thank you, lovely <3

I'm so glad to hear that you finished that fic, and, more importantly, that you enjoyed the read so much! You're too kind. Haha, I'm hitting you again with the kink discovery. I think if I can't find a job (a scarily real threat, lmao), I can make a job of that alone 💀💀 I, too, though, am going to be looking for more of it! I haven't found anything else with fin domming in stucky fics, but I would love to!

I'm honored that it's even a possibility that you'd just be into it because of the way I write it <3 Me too!! I love the absolute filth I can write and people not batting an eye, aside from horny reactions that I enjoy very much. Thank you. Plus, even better, so many people have come into my inbox to say depraved, kinky shit. Like. YES. Discover more kinks from me, tell me more about your kinks, and let's explore it all. Not you calling my porn writing art

(Like, absolutely, porn is art. Art inspires emotion, and horny is a valid emotion. I wholeheartedly believe that and would very readily call lots of other writers erotica art, but hearing that about my own? Wtf. Shits wild)

And calling my blog a haven?! Staaawp. You're too cute and nice, I can't take it

1) Ah! I'm so glad to hear that 'cause I plan out my fics EXTENSIVELY, lmao, and I try very hard to up myself consistently within my longer, chaptered fics.

2) You are so fucking sweet I am gonna scream. Oh my god!! I love how you pulled quotes from my text! What the hell??? That's so nice!

3) Thank you, thank you, thank you!! I feel like I use a lot of dialog 💀💀 That's probably because I think so hard about my dialog, though, lol. I do care, definitely. I care too much sometimes 😅 but, yeah, I try to always think, okay, but would the character actually ever say or behave like that? Both this AU character, but also the canon character because the AU is, of course, a canon extension/expansion.

Aww, I don't have words (which is saying something for me, haha)! Again, though, I love, love, love that you included snippets that stuck out to you!

YOU'RE SO SWEET!

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING AND THANK YOU FOR SUCH WONDERFUL COMMENTS ALONG THE WAY!

[baby-xemnas]

the weirdness and unconventionality of lawbepo are major charm points to me tbh!💕 i also really love how lawbepo elevates law’s character! it’s not that i didn’t like law before, but to be honest, i feel that a weakness of the character is that he is easily put into the “stoic badass with a tragic past and a secret heart of gold” stereotype. which is cool and fun, and it’s obviously a popular trope for a reason, but every anime/manga has this type of character tbh, and if nothing more is done with them, they can be kinda generic and one note. and it’s especially hard if the character is a side character, so it’s unlikely the creator will spend more time with them. unless it’s like for fanservice or something. so i like these types of characters but i don’t usually love them because of that.

that was how i used to feel about law, i liked him and thought his design was cool but that’s it. but everything is different now- like maybe it sounds insane to say, but considering “what if that bear is not just law’s vice captain, but also his first love from childhood? his babygirl? his ride-or-die wife?” has seriously like opened my third eye when it comes to law tbh lol, and i have you and your incredible art to thank for that! 🙏❤️‍🔥💕💯🔥✨

YOU PRETTY MUCH WENT THRU THE SAME JOURNEY AS MYSELF AND I LOVE THAT

yes so true all that....law by himself is only okay, yes hes sexy so ppl are crazy abt shipping him with whoever the fuck

but i really love when a sexy and intelligent character is WEIRD and its ignored by those around them cuz they are hot.

i like to bring him up cuz it was such a great discovery idk maybe someone will relate - i had that moment with akaashi haikyuu cuz i was like sure whatever, he is cute and bokuaka is FINE but when akaashis obsessive controlling calculative nature was revealed i had a real 💡!!! moment abt it and fell so hard for the character and the ship. like of you are pretty and WEIRD AF abt bokuto. gaslight gatekeepe girlboss. a dumbass' manipulative psycho boyfriend. perfect

and with Law honestly i cant commend japanese artists enough who saw Bepo day ONE and saw the potential of Law being very particular (pervert) about his bear - drawing dozens of comics of Law bleeding from the nose because Bepo is That cute. THEY REALLY HAD HIS NUMBER i meanwhile needed more convincing cuz im too canonfaggy to live off of Just the intro and the hug (all we had at the point where i got into op first) yes the hug was monumental and parially made up for the PH and DR lack of Bepo and having to tolerate the stupidity and insult of "law is gonna join SH/law is a honorary SH" no he wont, is not. die????

anyway yes it took me more fanservice to be like oh So we really ARE putting Law's softness for Bepo as one of the core characteristics? Not just a passing occasional thing like the hug was? Okay. BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

weird is great weird is enriching and its fucking phenomenal that it's Just bepo. Not just cute things even tho he does love them - Bepo being a whole Person that gets Law's cuteness dokis in a bunch is soooooo sus and charming

idk how other Law fans see it but i dont think Law loving cuteness and fluff like the Onigiri moment - would be enough, its too circumstantial. But Bepo.... Bepo is always there, making Law better by being his spoiled rotten softie baby angel

sorry if my train of thought is all over the place. Thank you so much for the ask you the real one ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[sunset-bridge]

I agree completely but i iwant you to elaborate anyeaha

-chai gay sex giy(ps i haveca migraine so that is why i cant typw)

MR CHAI GAY SEX in my askbox. no fucking way.....! ai generated. also i hope your migraine clears soon friend : (

anyways AHEM.

ok well. ocd... is the obsession disorder. i think you can already percieve some of this . what with how Obsession is such a theme with goro. Obsession with the Protagonist Obsession with Revenge Obsession with Perfection.

i think he could have pure O ocd. for anyone that doesnt know, pure O ocd is when you only have the obsessions but not physical compulsions. ex: i have an obsession about my house burning down but instead of doing any physical rituals like checking the stove or jumping up and down or pacing around etc. etc . i just. do mental obsessions, like repeating a phrase, counting to a number, arguing with my brain why my house WONT burn down for 4353 hours etc.

he could very well also have classic OCD but... frankly with how little time he would have to make any compulsions due to his frantic public life, im almost certain that 99% of them are mental.

OCPD (Obsessive Compulsive PERSONALITY disorder) is also a candidate for an additional disorder. for anyone that isnt familiar, this disorder is what most people would think as being a "perfectionist" or a "control freak". but to a degree where its obsessive and damaging to your quality of life. its common for it to couple with classic OCD (haha me...) and the combo is quite... devastating.

anyways. i just think the way he doubts his own convictions after meeting the protag is very ocd like.. he tries so hard to not recognize them and to convince himself hes right. he cant be wrong. he CANT AFFORD TO BE WRONG. not about his whole self! nnot about everything he stands for! it would hurt so deeply to be told you been doing it wrong your whole life.. that your core of thinking is wrong..resonates with me.. although for him specifically it would also be real event ocd (when a thing ACTUALLY happened in the past and your obsessions are about this thing etc and any implications. repeating events in your head and analyzing them ad nauseum etc) . i also think the sunk cost thing applied at some point absolutely 100% like. you dedicated your life to this plan. and you want to stop now??? no way. you already put so much into it. got to see it through. you're right. everyone else is wrong. they have to be.everything is hinging on this. no no. its just an intrusive thought. you're right. you have to be. if not, then what the hell was everything for!!

AND ALSO. how he is so. obsessive over maintaning his public image. ofc its for his plan but the feeling still applies. he Needs to be aware of everything always Everything must go according to plan Every detail must be perfect . I need to know what you Expect so i can perform correctly. You will never catch me off guard. I will be in control I need to Be the ONE in control of my life. etc. and so forth

also just the way his life is fleeting away being obsessed with his whole revenge spiral while he kinda gets more fucked up in his brain inside his skull day by day without saying anything to anyone. none of these people know etc...

very ocd core of his part. reminds me of my lowest moments where it felt like i was gonna die in the corner of my room but everything was happening in my brain. i felt like someone was stabbing me with a knife and twisting it inside. but no one else could see (this is not me being dramatic it really just Feels like That. very frustrating. a lot of people with ocd and other anxiety disorders can agree that they cause physical symptoms..)

and yeah his catharsis moment at shidos palace ... yeah...the raw emotion and the cruelty of reality hitting you in the face... everything you lived for and all of your ideals were wrong. this is my worst nightmare. i dont think i could be as strong.

thank you for listening to me! i shall go to sleep.

EDIT ALSO. r/ocdmemes moment

case closed

[1d1195]

So I finally got around to reading protection and I thought it would be funny if I wrote down all my favorite parts bc I always wanna point them out, but I FORGET. It’s late and these are actually my live reactions bc im writing them in my notes as I read This will be long, this will probs be verryyy dumb (so if you don’t want to, pllsss don’t feel obligated to answer it, let it rot in your inbox😭)

The part where she’s like “hey niall! :D” and then switches up and yells at the supervisor 😭😭 AND NIALL IS JUST SHOOK BAHAHAHHA

Protocol. 

'He knew that she ended a lot of her doodles with little hearts'. As someone who always draws hearts every time I get my hand on a pen, I ADORE this little fact (there’s a statistic that says 56% of Americans write their first name when testing out a new pen, and I always say ‘well what’s the percentage of people who draw a heart cause it cant just be me’)

 Left covered in glitter and with a printed card that said Happy Holidays, but the L was a middle finger emoji. Funniest thing you’ve ever written actually. 

The whole codename talk OF COOURSE

protocol.

If he were my boyfriend this would be so controlling, I would be out of there in two seconds flat. Why am I liking all this? bc its harry duh, that man could throw me in the back of his trunk, leave me there for days, and I’d still be obsessed w him

It was next to impossible. She invaded his every thought. Like a little flower, a wildflower, poking through the cracks of his brain and growing where it shouldn’t.

Even if it was beautiful and lovely where it grew.

“I don’t care if y’don’t like me,” Harry knew that was a lie. He wanted her to like him so badly. unbelievably real, I get like this too harry dw

“Hate ‘em,” he nodded. She liked them. So, there was that; the olive theory would apply to them. THE OLIVE THEORY AWWWWWW

I was super psyched about the part where she cut her hand bc that literally happened to me today and ive got a huge gash & the napkins taped on me to prove it😭 (no harry to cheer me up tho smh🙄)

If I drank enough water, I would be too much for the world. She told him. I’d be unstoppable. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

he pressed his lips to her ear. “Is that why y’tense all the time? Just need t’come?” I SCREAMED

THE WHOLE SCENE AFTER THAT HELLO ???? DID YOU THINK THAT WAS OKAY ??? // tell everyone my cause of death was this: “Gonna listen t’me?” He asked. She nodded, gasping for air that didn't smell like Harry but enjoying that it did. “Say it,” he murmured. “For all the times y’didn’t.”

protocol !!!!!

Literally nothing abt chapter 7 because where the fuck would I even begin

Everything about chapter 8 was PERFECT I have no clue what you were worried about because girl I was HOOKED it was just PLOT PLOT PLOT the writing was AMAZING, the twists were AMAZING, her planning (or yours ig) AMAZINGGGGG, THE SHOOTING HER AS A DISTRACTION ????? HOLY FUCK

I will say tho, L harry cause I really wanted him to kill the dude😞

“Feel like this’ll be more paperwork for you. Just shoulda died,” ROLLING OVER IN MY GRAVE SHE’S SOOO FUCKING FUNNY HAHAHAHAHAH

cant believe u almost killing her was not enough for you LMFAOOOO

It wasn’t the time, but it was quite hot the way he held her trapped against her bed. She’s literally just a girl🎀

“What’s your favorite song?” She asked so innocently Harry could have cried. Your honor I LOVE her

I cannot believe that she literally got kidnapped AGAIN ???? BY HER FATHER ???? THIS POOR POOR GIRL

It was quite a humble moment for her. All those years of torturing agents and creating mountains of paperwork, building walls up so she didn’t even need protection...now they would probably let her die as the opportunity had presented itself. OUCH OUCH OUCHHHHHHHHHH

Harry’s gonna go gray before I finish this chapter

 He was strongly considering (and hoping) asking her if they could just put a chip in her. HAHAHAHAH as if. I will deadass settle for like a 200 hundred blurb JUST of that conversation between them

Diving into the chilly winter water, he hoped it wasn’t too late to save her again. This might be your most committed couple yet omg (no pun intended)

Ive never been happier to have not read a fic as you posted it because Samantha I SWEAR TO GOD this woulda drove me insane😭 IT DID DRIVE ME INSANE AND I WAS BINGE READING (I would’ve turned gray faster than harry)

“The hell is that?” He mumbled trying to make sense of the monstrosity on her lap. PFFTTTTTT love that crocheting is a styles’ family thing in this bc yes absolutely. im just picturing lil harry staying up late watching videos online to try to learn so he could be better than Gemma

im ADORING his constant worrying abt her getting a headache😭 its the sweetest thing ever

It was a crochet kit: a beginner's book, a set of hooks, and three different colored yarns. SHUT UPPPPP ITS AN INITIATION AHHHHH

“We’re gonna have to cope the way we need to. I will be my usual, hilarious self. And you can be mopey.” She’s literally me thank uuuu

The whole scene?? Youre my whole heart, completely exposed to the world ???? RIP me, rest in peace me, I. Died. Dead. 

“Wildflower, definitely wildflower.” 10 dead. 29 injured. ahhHHHHHHHH

Girl I am soooo sorry and like I said you absolutely don’t have to reply I just thought this would be fun and it might make you smile, also u deserve to know just how greatly appreciated your writing is, every bit of it <3

~🎶

So I truly enjoy everything I write (except Love and Dryer Sheets). I know inherently that Traditional is more popular but I think if I had to pick a favorite, Protection is by far my favorite story. I guess if I had to qualify maybe my favorite of 2023 at least. Idk what it was about it, I just loved writing every moment of it, I enjoyed my weird little dialogues and the silly little inside jokes. I thought the MC was really strong and wonderful--I aspire to be like her, ya know? Writing Harry's parts is always fun too but I think Protection Harry is the mushiest but shyest of them (probs because of his job) so getting him to open up to her was really fun to write too. idk.

ALL OF THIS TO SAY this is quite possibly the sweetest and nicest thing anyone has done for one of my stories. I love this so so so so so much. There are so many parts you pointed out that I cared SO deeply for that didn't necessarily get pointed out when I originally wrote it. It was so sweet to read them again from someone else's perspective. I probs won't catch everything but please know that I got this from you at 5 in the morning yesterday and I have read it no less than 100 times because I'm so honored that you enjoyed it enough to take notes 😭😭 and every single one made me SO happy and smiley.

I just read about the statistic about writing your name when handed a pen in a book I was reading! I bet the heart thing is a pretty cool stat too (whatever it is!).

PUTTING ME IN A TRUNK SAME.

nothing about part 7 I'm screaming 😂

I've mentioned it in another ask but when I write suspenseful things I already know where the suspense is leading so I just get super in my head about it because I think it's obvious about where it's leading?

You have ignited a new extra regarding putting a tracking chip in her 🤭

she is really funny tbh hehehehehe I like to believe I'm funny too because I like to think that's how I would react to a lot of these scenarios.

she IS just a girl (and she really just wants to get railed by Harry quite frankly. I think she deserves it lol she's been through a lot)

Almost killing her was the main part the kidnapping was extra because I was like "Aw crap, I forgot to tie up the daddy issues line" whoops hahahahahahaha

Idk if they crochet, I hope they do. I just needed something that siblings could argue over. I would kill to know what the sibling dynamic is between Harry and Gemma. It's gotta be hilarious.

I think Harry is going to worry about her the rest of his life and you're so right, he would go gray because of her hehehehehe

SAMANTHA hahahahahahaha I was thinking you would have hated to read this as I was writing it lol

10 dead 29 injured 😭💕 - I think most endings of my stories suck but again, I love this story so much, I humbly think I did a better job on this one 💕

in general the bullets where you quoted some of what I wrote was really sweet too. The part about not getting help because of how she treated them, the olive theory, the part about water, harry wanting her to like him, etc. etc. That really means so much to me that it seemed worth pointing out again 😭 thank you thank you thank you.

If there was anything I didn't reply to, it wasn't intentional, I just know this is the longest ask ever and I love it so much but I feel like it's going to continue forever if I don't stop 😭💕💕

YOU ARE THE BEST THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS! IT'S SO WONDERFUL 💕

xoxo

[hushafoe]

It's currently 1:30 in the morning and I can't sleep, so I'm gonna write about what's been going on in my life. I have a lot of internet friends on here and it's tough when you go thru something traumatic and you don't wanna be like hey internet friend! Something bad happened to me and just launch into it. So. Idk. I am on mobile and cant for the life of me figure out a readmore so please heed my tws!

Tw domestic violence and mental illness

My mom and dad have never had a healthy relationship. My dad controlled all the finances, and withered away my moms social circle. Just super possessive and controlling. He never has been violent, just verbally and emotionally. But throughout the years, he'd slip into these states where he would be so obsessively angry about a miscommunication 30 years ago, when they were freshly engaged. And last week, he slipped into that rage. Except, it didn't go away. From Wednesday to Sunday, he was constantly starting fights and demanding apologies. I was so scared. I got in contact with the non emergency line, arranged womens shelter resources for my mom. By the time Sunday rolled around, I cracked, abd called the mental health authorities. It was ugly. He was yelling at yhe cops, to the point they took him away in cuffs. He told us as they escorted him out the door that he would never forget this. Great. Just like he wasn't forgetting what happened 30 years ago.

We went and stayed the night at my SIL's apartment, only for me to be woken at 2 AM by a call from the hospital that my dad was being discharged. My brother flew in from Vancouver to support my mom, thank God, cause I have nothing to offer. He got in contact with the responding worker, who filled him in that all signs point to narcissistic personality disorder, maybe a manic episode thrown in too.

With him experiencing "narcissistic injury" it isn't safe for any of us to go home. I don't want to be selfish, but I'm struggling. I miss my own bed. I miss my own room. In the panic of leaving, I left my laptop, so I cabt chat as easily with my friends or even escape into Netflix. I can't write as easily either. I miss being able to change my shirt without a thought. We're staying with my uncle now anf his house is so cold-- I would give almost anything to have my house tobe.We left our cat, and all I can hope is he's been feeding her. My mom was too afraid to get an EPO, and he is refusing to leave, and the RCMP is useless and won't accompany us or get him out without some court order.

Some good at least is all my friends have been so lovely. The outpouring of love and support has made me so grateful and happy to be alive and share my world with them. And of course, we're all safe, even if a bit uncomfortable. My hours at work are becoming more consistent, so hopefully I cab squirrel money away abd get an apartment of my own soon.

Anyway. Things could be so much worse. I just wish that were better.

[e17omm]

I understand I am a few days late so please forgive me. Firstly thank you for defending my opinion even if it came across as aggressive. I did not try to convince you to hate Elysia I just felt like bringing up something that I felt was the biggest factor of Hoyoverse's decline in story telling ability. Unfortunately, it turns out I have a very passionate hatred for Elysia and I let that slip out. I do agree with you about her being very interesting in the first few chapters of Elysian Realm, and I thought she had a lot of potential to be a good antagonist but in chapter 3 she started to get a bit overbearing and then Elysium Everlasting ending up retconning the entire lore of Honkai Impact 3rd from a story about how fate is not real and everybody has control over their lives, a message that really resonated with me, into 'pretty pink lesbian jesus invents fate to save everyone but herself because she is so selfless uwu' and then she refused to die and came back in chapter 34 for literally no reason. Then when hope has returned she gets a counterpart in Honkai Star Rail. Despite this: I do enjoy partaking in healthy conversation about Elysia with people who have different opinions about her because there is something I find really fascinating about her to the point of obsession. How could they make such an interesting character yet fuck her up so badly, yet she is still worshipped by the fandom as a flawless work of fiction? I hate her but genuinely cannot stop thinking about her because I easily could have loved her. Also it is nice how you brought up how people on the opposite side because I cannot even tell you how many times I got death threats for 'elyphobia' and 'disrespecting our goddess' when I was the one who was asked first.

Hey dont worry about it, and thanks for writing such a long as explaining how you feel all in one.

For me, I just consider her as two different characters:

I like ER Elysia. I dont like EE Elysia.

I do also find it incredible not just how they fucked up with EE Elysia's character, but also how she managed to bring down other characters. Like Kevin. For this emotionless wall of a character, seeing his one tear in the manga after learning that his girlfriend/wife died is incredibly powerful. But EE Elysia can ask him to cry on demand. It feels like everyone is warped around listening to EE Elysia and dancing to her whims.

ER Elysia may have not known what personal space is, but at least she had more dynamic with the others with some of them not liking her that much. I just wish her being a "traitor" was actually, you know, real. The fact that not everyone was worshipping her, called her a traitor, yet let her stay? There's a reason I made her being called a traitor in my Snippets AU to be completely justified.

And yeah if you got death threats for disliking her, that's completely unhinged.

THERE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A READ MORE HERE BUT IT DIDNT WORK

Again, talking more about Elysia in my Snippets AU. I didn't know where else to put it and again, I hate hijacking asks to talk about my works but I just cant stop myself. I did try to fix/change things I didn't like about her in that AU. I wont claim I've made her a totally different character anyone that hates Elysia can now enjoy, but I did my best to remove what I didn't like about her and change things to make her more interesting.

So in Snippets AU, Elysia doesn't actually have the power to just change fate/the Will whenever she wants. That's not how the Herrscher of Origin works in my AU. Her play as "I'm the last Herrscher before the Final Herrscher! Come defeat me!" to unite the Previous Era kinda worked, but that had nothing to do with the next era being able to have Herrschers retain their humanity - that was simply her last desperate act to do something good in the end.

In fact, not only is she not lesbian jesus. She had parents in the PE but they died while she was really young so she can still end up at the orphanage and I dont need to change her story any more. But not only that, but the Current Era has already had its 'Herrscher of Origin'.

As for her being called a traitor, I dont want to just say why, since I love reading the reaction of my readers when they figure things out, but it is VERY understandable why the survivors would call her a traitor.

[multimediamac]

100%ed the sexy brutale

So i saw this game mentioned and had to try it out based purely on 2 combos, time travel, murder mystery, 2 of my favourite genres combined, along with some puzzles, while they're not the best, quite linear and on rails for my full liking, they where entertaining enough as to be a nice gameplay aid, they where fun and intuitive, not having to look up any solution with the sole exception of one of the invitations, as un initiative, it is the only puzzle;e in the game that requires you use an item previously used, something i didn't consider as i thought if the game set that president then it wouldn't break it, so i found that particularity sour as it was the last thing i needed to 100% the game

As mentioned i found it too on rails, i wish there was some more freedom in the game as it felt at times the game was trying to have its cake, this fun mystery you have to figure out by exploring a mansion, and eating it too, having a set order things have to be done in, in a free roam setting i would've much rather had some level of freedom, unfortunately this game doesn't provide that, having only very linear thinking and pathing, at one point i got stuck on a puzzle as i tried to employ a creative solution, see the game does this thing where, if an item can be picked up, it can be used, during one of these, you can pick up a record, but the record is never used, so i was stuck trying many things with the record, when it in fact did nothing, i feel like the game is very mixed in design with this aspect, punishing thinking genuinely outside the box and not the so called box the game wants you in, i dunno, im not too big a fan of puzzle games, i often get stuck, but id at least like it a little more... feeling like im actually solving something rather then finding a block to go into the block shaped hole in the way of the door, the power-up masks are also do nothing devices, they're never used, okay they are used but what i mean is they're never *used* see the way the game works is the masks give you special abilities to do things you where unable to do before, but instead of letting you play around with these abilities at all in any way it just means sometimes a prompt will appear to use it like the worst quick time event of the xbox 360 era

What the game lacks in the inquisitiveness of a 10 year old it absolutely makes up for in style, its minor but another thing is the controls are... how do i put it, finicky, your character will stare at a door as you press the "open door button" and just stand there even though the "open door" button is there, oh what you have to do is actually press it then wait 5 seconds oh and you cant be too close to the door or it doesn't work at all, but its hard to consecrate on being frustrated at that when the game blows you away with its style its flavour its absolute understanding of gothic Victorian style, its just oozing with fancy and im lovin every moment of it, soundtrack included, fantastic visuals, id like to say i wish it was a movie, i do think it being a video game elevates it in many aspects, yeah id still rather it just be a movie as the video game aspect more so feels like a telle tale game cross bread with the sims and had a early unexpected birth because there was no "give birth" button

all in all i had a swell time playing the sexy brutale but its the type of game i wouldn't return to, at least to play again, maybe just to read the extensive descriptions it has, that's another point in its favour, though you can get that off a wiki or something, but it is in the games favour at least, on the story i don't want to spoil anything but i would say it was, above average, not something id haplessly obsess over such as zero escape but not something ill forget nore regret experiencing, overall i really do feel the style of the game caries it though, so take that for what you will, overall i would recommend it if you enjoy the look of the game and dont mind being treated like a toddler reviving his new plah-doh set and there being a "put the green play-doh in the green pot" button, and as long as the "time travel murder mystery" premise also appeals to you

Overall though i cant help but feel like it had wasted potential, yet i had fun so it wasn't fully wasted more just, milk that was left out overnight with some stale cheerios served in the most beautiful bowl you've ever seen and instead of you using a spoon yourself there's a button in front of you that very awkwardly moves the spoon towards your mouth, wow what a round about way to say the game spoon feeds you!

anyhow back to balatro 100%ing, i dread finishing that and having to write a big essay on why the black deck sucks and how good the game is

[nintendont2502]

@the-meat-machine in a maths lab rn so this isnt going to be coherent *at all* but god. yeah.you fucking get it.

[ID under cut:]

[ID: image 1 - a screenshot of a series of tumblr tags, reading: #i have Thoughts about this#some of which will be revealed in time#but yeah anyway this is a fantastic point and i think ult dirk has GREAT potential#there is a lot of tragic irony in what he thinks he's trying to do vs how the fandom is perceiving him#and how even in the 'canon' of post-canon it's not the original author writing him anymore#he is being filtered through the fandom's lens even in 'official' works now#who is the 'real' dirk strider? is he still there at all? was he ever? what does it mean for (a) dirk to be 'real'?#is epilogues dirk 'real'? is pesterquest dirk 'real'? is hs^2 dirk 'real'? are any of the many and various dirks in fanfic 'real'?#all of these are to an extent inauthentic if you only accept the original author's depiction as the One True Dirk#and yet. and yet! it's only ever been in readers' minds where dirk truly exists at all#he exists to the extent to which fans think about him and dream about him and write about him and draw him#it's impossible for a fictional character to maintain complete conceptual purity while also continuing to exist in the collective conscious#(hi i just realized i'm writing an essay in the tags. it's fine.)#anyway. these are the contradictions that drive ult dirk's existence#i wonder if they keep him up at night?#in my mind perhaps they do. in your mind perhaps not.#so which is 'true'?#neither. both. who can say?]

[ID: image 2: a screenshot of a series of discord messages, reading: one man obssessed with being the 'pure' version of himself and yet being written through how many different voices? sure theres 'canon' dirks but which one of them is real? none of them are being written by the original author and none of them are being written by the same author - how do you decide which one is 'real'? which voice deserves to be heard above the rest? if they're all real, then what difference is there between them and the countless dirks that exist in fanfic? is it just the vagueness of them being in 'canon' material? how the hell do you determine that? what if that content is explicitly post canon - what does that say about him? is ult dirk less real than homestuck dirk? is any dirk written by hussie (his original voice) realer than a dirk written by anyone else? how must he feel knowing that he can only ever speak by being puppeted by someone else?

a character obsessed with having complete control and yet that control only allows him to realise just how little control he actually has. he ascends to finally gain control over himself only to learn that he isnt controlling himself and he never has been. the further he gets to total control the more he realises just how far he'll forever be from it

hes a walking contradiction hes a character replacing the author except he can never replace the author when hes nothing more than a character. how do you ascend from the narrative when you textually are the narrative? hes such a fun contradiction to john where john is homestuck but isnt aware of it, shaping the narrative around him through freedom and detatchment while having no clue what hes doing, while ult dirk is the narrative and knows it, knows just how trapped and limited he truly is and god that must fucking kill him

hes defined by living in the space between narrative and reality, far too aware of whats on the other side and yet never being able to cross that gap because of what he is and what he will always be. how can he go back to living in the story now that he knows what lies on the other side? how can he escape to reality when he's still inherently tied to the narrative?

cant ascend your way out of being a fictional character dumbass

hes so fucking. everything about him is a contradiction. hes too 'real' to exist in the narrative and yet inherently fictional and can never exist in reality. hes a character defined by total control and yet he can only be controlled by others. his entire existence is the unification (and synchronisation. lmao) of every aspect of his being and yet he's never been more divided in his life. how many different voices are speaking through him? how many are 'real?' you cant even say the 'canon' authors are real because he exists in the grey space between canon and fanon (if you take post canon's word for it anyway), and what does that say about him? /end ID]

I think. there's so much potential with Ult Dirk and fanworks- specifically their meta nature

Like. Idk fanworks are usually created to try and 'fix' a perceived problem in canon (even if that problem is 'character x not getting enough screen time' or 'x and y not fucking' yk). Ult dirks whole thing is trying to fix canon and trying to maintain relevancy (there's a whole interesting side tangent there about ult dirk - a character focused on maintaining narrative relevancy as a source of power - being trapped in Homestuck's post canon, which not only isn't narratively relevant to the source but also isn't relevant to the fandom (and is in fact widely hated) and wasn't even finished - I'd love to believe that was done on purpose but that's just me trying to squeeze any scrap of meaning out of post canon I think)

ANYWAY fanworks are a pretty good way to gain relevancy methinks - unpopular characters/characters screwed over or ignored by the narrative usually flourish in fanworks, right? *But* there's the inherent trade off there - sure, you're gaining narrative relevancy, but it's in a narrative you have no control over. You as a character are being filtered through someone else's voice at best, and at worse there's a whole new version of yourself out there. And just. Fuck how do you think ult dirk - the ultimate version of the guy who had a crisis about different versions of himself outside of his control - would feel, knowing that after he finally united all splinters of himself into one, that's there's God knows how many versions of that version of himself - none of them under his control

If you want to make it really meta, I could almost imagine a version of Ult Dirk, realising he's trapped in a comic that - let's be real here - is never going to get finished, and that no one cares about (and new fans are explicitly discouraged from reading) and getting so desperate for narrative relevancy again that he embraces those fanon versions of himself, allowing himself to become watered down and diluted by the countless different interpretations of him written by the fans in order to maintain his power (or even his existence)