#*mentally singing along to the soundtrack*

[jazhand]

what goes through y'all heads in the crimson badlands. im curious

[lambtotheslaughterr]

One Way Or Another

A Rafe Cameron Oneshot

[THIS STORY WILL CONTAIN THEMES OF NON-CON/DUB-CON, MENTAL-EMOTIONAL-PHYSICAL ABUSE, ETC. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. 18+. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT]

WC: 16.5k (just for a second, holy fuck. spent all day writing this. from 10 am to 8pm. i am feeling good & feel like i'm on a writer's high. thank you to all of you who made this happen: 62 pages of pure dark fiction)

Dividers provided by @firefly-graphics

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Summary: Reader's life couldn't be any better. She's working her dream job, living with her best friend, & may have met the one... but none of those things matter when her bestfriend/roommate begins seeing a volatile man from reader's past...

            It was Coyote Ugly night at your work, & you made sure to request the night off weeks in advance. There would be nothing to stop you from singing your heart out to the soundtrack of the movie as it played in the bar or dancing on the bar with your friends, not even having your coworkers & boss witnessing it all unfold. Ever since you were a little girl, you wanted to be a bartender all because of the film. It inspired your fashion choices, your music tastes, & most importantly, your attitude.

            As soon as you turned 21, you applied to every single bar in your area. And before that, you practiced your cocktail making, just enough to at least get hired. You knew without experience, it was difficult to land a job as a bartender. If you had to accept a position working at a hotel bar or fine dining bar, you’d take it, anything to get the experience, but your long-term goal was to find a bar with the same energy & vibes as your favorite movie. Your wish came true a year later.

            The Garage was just that. It was inside an old auto-shop with three large garage doors. During summer nights, those doors would be raised & they led out into the enclosed patio area where a stage had been built for nights when live music would be happening. The owner, as much as you wanted it to be a tough-as-nails woman like Lil in Coyote, was an older man in his 50’s named Rosie. Yes, Rosie. His full name Roosevelt but he had been going by Rosie since he entered the bar business. It was your first favorite thing about him.

            Rosie ran a tight-knit crew at The Garage. He was a no-bullshit haver but knew how to have a good time. It was him who trained you behind the bar, switching you up from making prissy, fancy shit & teaching you how to make a real drink, as he said. You loved him. And you loved your family there. Everyone accepted you & welcomed you with open arms & cold beer. It was all you could have ever dreamed for. And now, you were going to live out your ultimate fantasy.

            It thankfully didn’t take a whole lot of convincing on your part to get Rosie to agree to a Coyote Ugly night. You advocated for how it would bring in a good crowd, good money, & good times. Moreover, you promised to do all the leg work. You would take it upon yourself to work alongside the social media handler, Rosie’s daughter Angie who worked in the office alongside her father, to get word out & generate interest. A week before the event was supposed to happen, you had a guaranteed 100+ people wanting to attend. There was no RSVP, but just an event page on Facebook, & your work had paid off. The night was happening, & you would be at the center of it all.

            At your apartment that night, you got ready for the night. You admired your look in the mirror, scenes from the bar film playing through your mind. You smiled proudly at yourself. You look damn good.

            But your night would only be complete if you convinced your best friend, & roommate, to come with. As far as that morning, she was still on the fence. But the time was now. She was either coming or not, & if you had anything to say about it, she would be forced along.

            Leaving your room, you skipped down the hallway before turning a corner & entering the living room. Jules’ room was just off the living room, kitty corner from your room on the other side of the apartment. You were grateful for the distance, but only because you both were sexually active women & didn’t need to hear each other get your kicks in.

            Jules’ door was open & you swung around the frame, poking your head in.

            “Tell me you’re coming!” You hollered, noticing the door to her en suite bathroom was open & the light on, but she was out of sight.

            “Uhhh.” Jules laughed awkwardly, “No?”

            No? N O ?Well. You wouldn’t be having that.

            Entering her room, you marched up to her bathroom entryway, prepared to bribe her into coming, but before you could get a word out, you felt your jaw drop onto the floor.

            Jules stood in the center of her bathroom, posing with her hand on her hips & hiding her coy smile behind a lifted shoulder.

            “Wow.” You grinned, impressed, “You look fucking hot.”

            She was wearing a torn cropped lack crop top, the sleeves & hem shredded, & a mini, mini black leather skirt. To bring the whole look together, she wore a pair of black cowgirl boots & a black cowgirl hat. You giggled at the bolo tie around her neck.

            “Do I look like someone not to be fucked with?”

            “Hundred percent.”

            Jules scrunched her nose cutely, turning to look at herself in the mirror, “Good.”

            You joined her in the mirror, double checking your own look. You definitely didn’t look as man-eater as she did but you were still happy with what you wore. The two of you would undoubtedly be some of the hottest women there tonight.

            “Ready?” You questioned as you applied some of her lipstick to your mouth.

            Jules winked at herself in the mirror, “As I’ll ever be.”

            The night was in full swing as you danced among people. Dirrty by Christina Aguilera vibrated the room as you swung your hips & ran your hands along the length of your torso. Never before have you felt more like yourself than you did in that moment. Everywhere you looked there was women in backless tops, leather pants or denim skirts, a plethora of country rock fashion choices, & plenty of good-looking men. The only thing that would make this night better was bringing a stranger home for the night.

            Sweat coated your skin as you moved off the dance floor between songs. You had curated the playlist for the night. There was over 150 songs on the queue, all of which were either from the soundtrack or had a similar, fitting feel for the night. You knew that any moment Pour Some Sugar On Me by Def Leppard would come on & you were determined to drag Jules onto the bartop with you.

            Sliding between the sea of people, you eventually spotted Jules standing at a tall table near the patio entrance. She was facing you but hadn’t noticed you yet as she spoke flirtatiously with the man standing across from her. He had his back to you & was leaning over the table to hear what your roommate was saying. Jules laughed, smacking him gently on his arm. You knew that you wouldn’t be the only one bringing a man home tonight.

            As apologetic as you were to break up their conversation though, you had a goal in mind, & no potential suitor for your roommate was going to stop you.

            “Jules!” You greeted happily as you jumped towards her, “It’s almost time.”

            “Oh, hey, _____.” Jules smiled at you, “_____, this is Rafe.”

            But before she had even said his name, you were already looking him over & felt your world slow down at the familiar face standing before you.

            It had been a couple years since you last saw Rafe Cameron. You two were in the same grade in high school & attended a lot of the same parties, but you two never spoke to one another. He had a reputation in the halls as a cokehead & was known to snap at a moment’s notice & get into a brawl over the smallest of things. Definitely wasn’t the kind of person you wanted to hangout with. But you had to admit he knew how to throw good parties.

            “Rafe, this is my roommate _____.”

            Rafe smirked at you before offering his hand, “Nice to meet you.”

            You took his hand, ignoring the static shock you received when touching your palms together, “Likewise.”

            Jules was about to say more but the opening instrumentals to your most-anticipated song of the night began playing over the speakers.

            “Sorry, Rafe. I gotta steal her for a couple minutes.” Before Jules could resist, you began dragging her towards the bar.

            “Hey! I was talking to him!”

            “Talk to him later, this is way more important.”

            Jules then realized what was happening & started shaking her head knowingly, “You’re lucky I fucking adore you.”

            “The luckiest.” You smiled back.

            The two of you were quick to climb onto the bar where a few other women were already dancing to Pour Some Sugar On Me. Jules & you were naturals at dancing, having many dance nights in your living room. You danced sensually to the song as it blared over the speakers. Your cheeks hurt from smiling as hard as you were, enjoying the ooh’s & awe’s of men & women alike as they cheered all the women on. You spotted a few of your coworkers behind the bar filming you on their phones. You’d be sure to get those videos sent to you before the night was out.

            Jules slowly fell to her knees to whip her hair around her as she bumped & grinded the air to the music. You reached behind the bar to grab a pitcher of water & did the honors of pouring water on her as the first chorus blasted. Jules’ dancing & your pouring elicited an eruption of cheers. When the first chorus was over, Jules returned to her feet & the two of you danced seductively against one another. All eyes were on the two of you as you stole the show. Your lifelong dream of being a Coyote was coming true before your own eyes.

The song continued & by the time the final chorus came it was your turn to have everyone cheer for you. Jules’ was handed another pitcher of water & as the famous Pour Some Sugar On Me chorus began, you modeled yourself atop the bar. Your butt was down & your legs extended out the length of the bar. You were facing up, your arms holding you up behind your back, your legs bent at the knees. Then as the titular moment of the song happened, Jules poured the ice cold water over you.

A wave of cheers & enthusiasm erupted throughout the bar. When Jules finished pouring the water, you repositioned yourself to crawl along the length of the bar, catching eyes & stealing hearts. You spotted one man sitting at the bar, his eyes never leaving your own. He was cute, more than cute, he was Kevin O’Donnell cute. Your Coyote Ugly dreams were demanding you to end your performance in his lap.

The man grinned to himself as you swung your legs around to dangle off the bar on either side of him. He leaned back in his seat to stare up at you, a closed smirk across his handsome features. As the song closed, you slid off the bar & into his lap. With no introductions needed, you tangled your fingers in his hair at the nape of his neck & brought his mouth to yours, sealing the night with a kiss from a perfect stranger.

            His name was Jack. He was new to town. You were happy to be his welcoming committee.

            “What you did up there was…” He laughed, raising his brows in knowing.

            “I know.” You giggled, nursing your drink.

            After your kiss, Jack insisted on buying you a drink & you couldn’t say no. Jules’ hugged you once before returning to her object of desire. You were too distracted by your own man to question her own.

            “So, you work here?” Jack asked, looking around the place.

            You nodded proudly, taking in the environment, “It’s my second home.”

            “I like the energy. Seems fun.”

            “It is.” You confirmed, “Couldn’t have asked for a better place to work.”

            The two of you talked for a bit longer before you were interrupted. Jules slid in beside you at the table you & Jack were sat at, & her man for the night, the reputable bad boy from your high school, took the spot opposite her. You didn’t miss how his eyes lingered on your face for some time. You frowned internally but ultimately ignored it as you turned to your best friend.

            “Are you drunk?” You asked incredulously. It took a lot to get Jules drunk, she was a prime time heavy weight, & she was fine when you saw her only ten minutes ago.

            Jules pressed her lips together, smiling knowingly up at you, “Maybe.”

            “What the hell did you drink?” You chuckled as she rested her head on your shoulders.

            “We took a couple shots at the bar.” Rafe added to the conversation. You flashed your eyes towards him, taking in his appearance.

            “You look fine.” You pointed out, yet your heavy weight best friend was growing more drunk by the second.

            “I just hide it better.” Rafe smirked. His face was flushed. And after working in the bar industry for the last two years, you did know men’s bodies handled liquor better than women’s. So, you let it go.

            “Do you wanna head home?” You shook Jules.

            She shrugged but her eyes were fluttering closed.

            You felt disappointed but didn’t show it. The night was still young, you had yet to even partake in the karaoke aspect of the night, but Jules wasn’t going to last much longer, chugging water be damned.

            “Jack,” you glanced across to him, “I’m sorry, I’m gonna have to get her home.”

            “I understand.” He nodded, pulling out his phone, “Let me at least get your number. Maybe you can give me a tour of town.”

            You smiled at that, sharing your number to him out loud. Once he entered it into his phone, you told him you looked forward to his call & began to get out of your seat. But as you did, your world began to spin.

            “Whoa.” You mumbled, catching yourself on the table. You must’ve had more to drink than you thought.

            “You alright?” Jack asked, rising to his full height to help stabilize you.

            You nodded but you weren’t, “I’m a lightweight. Guess I drank more than I thought I had.”

            Jack grabbed your jacket, “Do I need to order you a Lyft?”

            You shook the offer away. But you couldn’t drive. Jules didn’t have a car so it was you who got the two of you there tonight. You glanced over your shoulder at the bar, wondering if maybe you could convince one of your coworkers to give you a ride but they were still slammed. The bar wouldn’t die down for a couple more hours.

            “I’m sorry, Jack. Would it be shitty of me to ask you to drive my drunk ass & my roommate’s drunk ass home?”

            Jack chuckled at that but ultimately shook his head no, “I don’t have a car. Don’t really need one here, ya know.”

            You nodded at that. It was true.

            “Fuck.” You moaned. Your head was growing dizzier by the second.

            Most times you would bite the bullet & cough up the money to pay for an expensive Lyft, but with rent due in two days, you didn’t have the funds. And you didn’t work tonight so no tips would help.

            “I can drive you.” A voice sounded from the other end of the table. Both you & Jack looked towards Rafe as he pulled out his keys.

            “I thought you had a lot to drink, too?” Jack questioned. You were relieved he wasn’t too trusting of Rafe immediately either.

            “Not really.” Rafe returned, his eyes on you though, “You want the ride or not? She looks like she’s gonna be sick any minute.”

            At that statement, you bent over to look at Jules. He was right. Her skin was looking ashen & she was frowning in her sleep. The last you wanted to worry about was her puking before you got her to her bed with a bowl on the floor.

            “Okay.” You nodded, accepting your jacket from Jack’s hands. “Thanks.”

            Jack helped you gather the rest of yours & Jules’ things. He attempted to help you carry her outside but your legs were beginning to grow weaker, your strength quickly dissipating.

            “I got it.” Jack reassured you as he lifted Jules into his arms cradle style.

            “Hey, uh.” Jack looked towards Rafe.

            “Rafe.” He shared his name. Jack nodded then gestured to where you stood leaning against the wall, “Wanna help her?”

            You raised your head at that. Rafe approached you, offering his hand.

            “I got it.” You faked, forcing yourself to stand up. Rafe made an unimpressed face but you ignored it. Just outside the door to the parking lot though you felt your knees buckle. Before you could hit the ground, you felt a strong & firm arm catch you around the waist.

            “Just lean on me. My truck’s right there.”

            As much as you didn’t want Rafe’s help, still unsure why you were feeling hostile towards him, you knew you needed to. Accepting his help, you leaned into his side as he kept you on your feet. A truck a few feet away beeped & the headlights flashed. Jack was ahead the two of you, waiting for Rafe to help him get Jules’ into the back seat.

            Rafe first brought you to the passenger side, helping you up into the cab. Your movements were slow & languid, like you were already half asleep. You shook your head, trying to clear your mind enough to fasten your belt, but before you could, Rafe reached across your front to secure the protective strap.

            “Thanks.” You mumbled, avoiding his eyes.

            “No problem.” He shut your door gently before joining Jack on the other side. You vaguely listened as the two men got Jules into the backseat before the door shut.

            By the time they finished, Rafe was quick to hop into the driver’s seat. You were holding your head in your hands, trying to keep your vision from swimming. Fuck, you really needed to keep better track of your drinking, but you were just having too much fun.

            The door to your side opened & Jack was there, “You gonna be okay?”

            You hummed in response, not trusting yourself to speak, worried that your speech would be slurred.

            “Okay. Text me when you make it home safely. I’ll text you right now.”

            All you could manage was to give him a thumbs up.

            “Alright.” Jack nodded then he looked towards Rafe, “Make sure they get home safe, man.”

            “Yup.” The engine roared to life as he pressed a button on the dashboard.

            “I’ll see you later, _____.”

            You wanted to return the parting but Jack closed the door. The truck jostled beneath you as Rafe drove through the gravel lot.

            “What’s your address?” Rafe asked.

            Pulling out your phone, you languidly types in your address into the maps app. You hit ‘start’ & handed your phone to Rafe.

            The ride was mostly silent until the final couple minutes of it.

            “I remember you, ya know.” Rafe commented. You forced your eyes open at that. It wasn’t that you thought he would remember you or not, but you didn’t want to have one of those walk-down-memory-lane conversations with someone you knew was problematic in high school. Times changed everyone, you supposed. You weren’t always the confident & extroverted woman you were today. Perhaps Rafe had changed, too.

            “Yeah?” You responded. Thankfully, you didn’t sound as drunk as you felt.

            “Yeah, you dated that Junior kid for a while.”

            “Mm.” You had forgotten about Junior. You weren’t one of those people that considered high school boyfriends as real relationships. After all, the two of you only dated for two months your senior year.

            “What I remember most is your guys’ dramatic breakup at Phil’s prom after-party.”

            You frowned at that. That whole night was a messy blur in your memory. You remembered prom fine but the after-party was another story. You had always been a lightweight, but as you thought on it, you vaguely remembered catching Junior dancing with another girl that night.

            The memory resulted in a light chuckle from you, “Oh, yeah. Well…he was an asshole.”

            Rafe shared in your chuckle, nodding in agreement, “Yeah, he was.”

            “So, Jack, huh?”

            His sudden change in conversation made you finally look at him in the dark. The streetlights you passed under were doing little to light his face.

            “Jack?”

            “Think he’ll be any better than Junior?” Rafe questioned.

            What did that even matter?

            Searching for the right words through your addled brain proved difficult, but you eventually found them, “I don’t know… not like I’m going to date him seriously.”

            “No?” Rafe flicked his eyes to yours, “Why not?”

            Okay, you were not going to have this conversation with Rafe of all people.

            Ignoring his question, you were relieved when Rafe pulled into the parking lot of your apartment complex. But the night wasn’t quite over. You knew you wouldn’t be able to get Jules upstairs & into your apartment on your own.

            But as if he was reading your mind, Rafe switched the truck off & unbuckled his belt. He hopped out & you watched through the windshield as he rounded to your side. When he opened the door, you moved to get out but was stopped by the belt you still wore. Oh, right.

            Rafe beat you to it though, reaching around your front for a second time to release the buckle. You felt a chill riddle up your spine when his thumb grazed against your front, just above the top of your shorts. Rafe then placed a hand on your hip & guided you out of the truck. Even though it wasn’t a lifted truck, it sure felt like it as Rafe helped you climb out & down.

            “Good?”

            You nodded in response, wanting to keep your words few & far between.

            Next, you followed him around to the other side of the truck. You noticed that you weren’t as drunk as you were when you left. Your head was still pounding & your vision was still swimming, but at least you could hold yourself up now.

            Rafe swung open the door to the back & began gently pulling out Jules. She mumbled in her drunken sleep as he slung her over his shoulder.

            “If you want to lead the way, I can carry her.”

            “Thanks.” You sighed, desperate to get inside & crash into your bed.

            Inside the secure building, you used your key fob to alert the elevator of your presence. When the three of you loaded on, you pressed the lit up button for 5.

            “Thank god for elevators, right.” Rafe joked as he shifted Jules to piggyback him. Fortunately, she hung on.

            Once you reached your floor, you sped walked ahead to your door & swung it open. Rafe passed you by.

            “Take a right at the corner & her bedroom is at the end, off the living room.”

            Rafe followed your directions in the dark. You turned on the lights behind him as he went, hoping he didn’t bump into anything or accidentally drop Jules because of it. He managed to swing her door open & enter her room, you were right behind them.

            Rafe turned to face you before bending his knees to lower Jules closer to the bed. Once she was close enough, Rafe let her go. Jules groaned again at the sudden drop, her eyes fluttering open briefly before closing again. You entered her bathroom to dampen one of her hand towels.

            When you re-entered her room, you paused, watching silently as Rafe tucked Jules’ legs under the covers of her bed. He glanced up, likely having feeling you watching him, & shrugged.

            “I can’t sleep without a blanket of some sort when I’m drunk.”

            You nodded, mustering a smile. Approaching Jules, Rafe moved out of the way. You placed the damp rag on her forehead, hoping it’d help her feel less sick if she did end up throwing up in the middle of the night.

            “Would you mind doing me a favor?” You asked Rafe, glancing at him over your shoulder.

            “Sure, what’s up?”

            “Above the fridge in the kitchen are big bowls. Can you bring one?”

            Rafe nodded & left the room. You listened intently until you heard him in the kitchen.

            “Grab a glass of water, too, please!” You hollered.

            The faucet began running in the distance, so you took the time to lift Jules’ sheets. You overlooked her body, ensuring that Rafe didn’t do any weird shit when you were in the bathroom. But nothing looked out of place. Even her cowgirl boots were still on. Chuckling lightly to yourself, you quickly removed them from her feet before tucking her legs back under the covers.

            It wasn’t that you were a man-hater, you loved men. But recalling all the rumors surrounding Rafe in high school, & how even despite that he was a stranger, you didn’t want to take any chances. So far he had been helpful & friendly enough so you didn’t want to be quick to stuff him into a box labeled ‘creep’, but you’d certainly keep your eye on him.

            You heard his footfalls coming nearer so you stood up. When he entered the room again, he carried a large bowl in one hand & a glass of water in the other.

            “Thank you.” You offered him a small smile when taking the objects from him.

            Once you got Jules settled, you turned to face him, gesturing for the two of you to leave the room. You closed the door quietly behind you. In the living room, you eyed the kitchen on the opposite end of the space.

            “Did you want anything to drink? It’s the least I can do for helping.”

            Rafe sighed, contemplating your offer, “An energy drink if you got it. Feel like I’m gonna fall asleep behind the wheel if I keep going like this.”

            “I don’t have any of that, but I can make you a coffee?”

            “Yeah, sure, thanks.”

            You nodded, walking towards your kitchen. Rafe followed behind you, taking a seat at your small two person table in the corner. You felt him watching you as you pulled out the coffee grounds & began putting them into the coffee maker.

            “Thank you again.” You repeated, tossing him a look over your shoulder, “For helping.”

            “No problem.” He repeated, “Again.”

            You laughed quietly & softly at that. Once the coffee began brewing, you pulled out two mugs & left them by the pot. Then you turned back to face him.

            “How are you feeling?” He asked.

            You felt your brows crease, “What do you mean?”

            “Well, you couldn’t walk at the bar, but now you seem totally fine.”

            “Oh.” You straightened up that, also then realizing how much better you were beginning to feel, “Better, yeah. Must’ve just been a wave.”

            Rafe nodded at that but said nothing.

            “So.” you began, shrugging your shoulders. Small talk wasn’t your forte. It made you feel awkward.

            “So…” Rafe repeated.

            The two of you shared an uncomfortable laugh.

            “You looked really hot on the bar tonight.” His sudden & unsolicited comment surprised you. There was no hiding the shock on your face.

            “What?” You laughed, really believing you misheard him.

            “You heard me.” He smirked at you, his eyes trailing the length of you. You shifted under his gaze, shaking your head, “Thanks? I guess.”

            Fortunately, the coffee pot finished & you were able to distract yourself with pouring the two of you a mug of coffee. You brought Rafe’s his before returning to the fridge to pull out some French vanilla creamer.

            “Want some?” You shook the carton. Rafe waved his hand in dismissal.

            After flavoring your coffee, you joined him at the table.

            “So, what have you been up to since high school?” You finally asked, forcing yourself to partake in a dreaded topic of conversation.

            “Not a whole lot.” Rafe blew out air, “Working for my dad mostly.”

            “And what’s that?” You blew on your coffee before taking a sip.

            “Business. Real estate development. That sorta shit.”

            You nodded, “That’s good money though, right? You rolling in dough?”

            “Why? Want me to take you out on a date?”

            He was teasing but you still laughed uncomfortably, “Not exactly.”

            “No? Not the dating type?”

            Shrugging, you made a face that confirmed his suspicions, “Not really, no.”

            “Why’s that?”

            You sighed, leaning back in your chair, “No reason, really. Just haven’t met the right person, I guess.”

            “Having too much fun stealing & breaking hearts at the bar?” Rafe smirked.

            You rolled your eyes, “Something like that.”

            “You stole mine. Watching you up there…”

            The way he looked at you made your skin erupt with goosebumps. You bit your lip & Rafe’s eyes flicked to the movement. You shook your head, unable to hide your embarrassed smile, “You’ve always been a flirt, ya know?”

            Rafe’s eyes widened at that, “What does that mean?”

            You shook your finger at him, “We may not have talked in high school but you had a reputation. You were ‘the bad boy’. Breaking hearts and faces.”

            Rafe scoffed at that but chuckled nonetheless, “I won’t confirm nor deny.”

            A silly giggle left you but you immediately reeled it in the second you heard it. Were you…flirting with Rafe Cameron? Jesus. If someone had told you earlier that day that you’d end your night flirting with Rafe Cameron in your own apartment you’d say bullshit. It was funny though sometimes how the world brought people in & out of your life.

            “Oh, c’mon.” You shook your head, “All the girls wanted to date you & all the guys wanted to either be you or beat you.”

            Rafe laughed at that, nodding in agreement, “Maybe.”

            You lowered your eyes, memories of high school passing you by.

            “What about you?”

            You raised your eyes to meet his, “What about me, what?”

            “Did you want to date me?”

            There was no helping the sudden burst of laughter at his question. You bit your lip again, shaking your head, “Actually, no. If anything, I was scared of you.”

            Rafe’s eyes glinted playfully, leaning across the table, “That so?”

            “Mm.” You nodded, “I saw a few of your fights. You’re pretty hot-headed, ya know. All I wanted to do was not piss you off.”

            “You couldn’t even if you tried.” Rafe eyes lingered to your lips.

            A part of you was undeniably enjoying his apparent attraction to you. You didn’t care if it was the alcohol or whatever it was that was sexually charging the energy in the room. After all, you did want to take a man home tonight. Rafe isn’t who you had in mind, especially since he started out as Jules’, but Jules’ was lax. If you did end up sleeping with Rafe, she wouldn’t care. All she’d be interested in was how he was in bed. And now, you couldn’t help but wonder yourself.

            Inhaling sharply, you pushed your coffee to the side so you could place your elbows on the table, leaning forward so there was only a few inches between you.

            “But I’m sure I can make you happy.” You flirted suggestively.

            “I think you can, too.” Rafe stared at you through hooded eyes. Yeah. He wanted you, too.

            That being the only confirmation you needed, you rose from your seat, offering your hand to Rafe, “C’mon then. Let’s go to bed.”

            Rafe grinned up at you with that. Then he rose to his full height, but he ignored your hand. He towered over you, your head only reaching his shoulders. Before you could say or do anything, Rafe suddenly had his arms around your butt, lifting you until you were forced to wrap your legs around his middle.

            “Let’s.”

            A week passed before you saw Rafe again. And you honestly never expected to see him again. After the night you two spent together rolling around in your sheets, you passed out. When you woke the next morning, Rafe was gone. It wasn’t the first time, & likely wouldn’t be the last, that one of your hook-ups escaped into the night, but you’d be lying if you thought Rafe would be different since you two went to high school. But alas, Rafe only proved to be like most men. You weren’t miffed though. You moved on fast.

            As far Jules, her reaction to learning about you two hooking up wasn’t what you quite expected. She laughed it off at first but you could see that she felt something about it. You eventually got it out of her. She said that she actually liked Rafe. Unlike most of her conquests, she felt a natural draw to him & had thought that perhaps Rafe could be someone she’d date. It all surprised you.

            Jules, of course, didn’t blame you whatsoever since she had only met Rafe that night, & after you explained your history, or lack thereof, with him, she understood. But you could tell that she was disheartened to not get to know him more. But as the week passed, she got back into her usual good spirits.

            As for you, you heard from Jack a day after you met him. He started out giving you a hard time for not letting him know you made it back home safely that night, & you thought it best to lie & say that you passed out as soon as you got into bed rather than telling me the truth. The two of you texted for the whole day & before you knew it you had scheduled a date.

            The date itself was fun. You took Jack to some blacklight mini golf then the two of you had a couple beers at one of your favorite bars. The night ended with a hot make-out session in your car. After that, you two saw each other practically every day. Tonight would be no different. In fact, Jules was going out to the bars & you were staying in, wanting Jack to come spend the night with you. It wasn’t like you to wait to have sex with someone you were interested, so Jack was a rare case.

            But with Jules being out of the apartment for most of the night, you thought it an opportune time to have him over & you two could be as loud as you wanted.

            It was almost nine at night when Jules finally left. Jack was supposed to be there around that time, as well. But before she left, she poked her head into your room. You did a little spin for her as she tried to pick her jaw off the floor.

            “Damn, _____. Jack isn’t gonna know what hit him.”

            You smiled happily at that, admiring your lingerie in your full length mirror.

            “I hope so.” Jack was quickly becoming your Rafe. By that, you meant that you enjoyed his company beyond more than just the sexual tension. He made you laugh, carried a conversation, showed interest in your life but also wasn’t afraid to share details of his own. Plus, he was hot as fuck. The more you hung out with him the more he reminded you of a young James Franco. And Franco was always cute to you.

            “So, I wanted to talk to you about something really quick.” Jules revealed, stepping further into your room.

            You tossed her a confused but wary look, “…Okay. Everything alright?”

            “Yeah, at least, I hope so.” She laughed sheepishly, “I’m going to bars tonight, as you know, but…I’m not going alone.”

            You reeled back at that, but were smiling nonetheless, “Okay, babe, if it’s a date you know we trade info incase the guys are creeps.”

            “Yeah, I know.” She sighed, avoiding your eyes, “That’s kind of why I didn’t say anything to begin with. You already know him…”

            Done admiring yourself in the mirror, you sat on your bed, staring up at her in waiting.

            Jules moved forward to join you on your bed, “It’s with Rafe.”

            Oh.

            The revelation wasn’t what you expected but you nodded hesitantly, “Okay… that’s okay?”

            “I don’t know, is it? We’ve never really navigated these waters before.”

            You rolled your eyes at that, “Oh, my god, Jules, it’s okay! I have no claims to him. If you want to see him then see him.”

            She frowned at that, not entirely buying what you were selling, “Are you sure? I know we have a pretty lax friendship, but it’s not weird. I’ll admit, I did feel weird after you told me you guys hooked up last weekend.”

            A pang of guilt hit your chest, but you dismissed it with a forced smile. You had no interest in Rafe. He was a decent fuck, but that’s all he was. If Jules was serious about him, the last you wanted to do was have her thinking you were standing in her way.

            “God, I’m sorry. I’m such a slut sometimes.”

            Jules giggled at that but shook her head, “That’s not what I’m saying. I just want to make sure that you & I will be okay. And, obviously, if it gets weird or messy having Rafe around then I won’t mind kicking him to the curb.”

            You laughed at that, “It won’t come to that. Besides, I have my own man coming over tonight. Rafe…feels like it was ages ago at this point.”

            “Okay.” Jules grinned, her dimples appearing. You could tell she was really excited about this date. You only hoped that Rafe didn’t disappear in the middle of the night on her like he did you.

            “Okay!” You exclaimed, standing up. Jules stood with you. You hugged her, “Thank you for telling me. I’ll make sure Jack & I are all finished by the time you get home.”

            “No worries.” Jules pulled away, grinning at you, “If we do end up wanting to hook-up I’m going to try to get it done at his place, that way you two can be alone all night.”

            “Well, thanks, I appreciate it.” You smiled, letting her go, “But if you do go there, you know to text me where the address is.”

            “Yes, mom.” Jules rolled her eyes.

            With that, you exited your room & walked with her to the door. Jack would be there any minute & you still wanted light some incense & candles.

            You were unlatching the door & swinging it open, preparing to wave Jules off but a yelp escaped you at the tall, looming presence just on the other side.

            “Rafe!” Jules shrieked. The both of you were not expecting him on the other side, let alone anyone.

            Rafe’s eyes danced amusingly between the two of you as you both recovered from the jump scare but when his eyes stopped on you, staring at your chest, you glanced down. It was then that you realized you were still only wearing your lingerie.

            “Oh, fuck.” You muttered, quickly standing just behind the door out of sight as you tied the thigh length silk robe around your body. Jules realized what was happening by the time you finished & glanced up.

            “Sorry ‘bout that.” You laughed sheepishly as Jules stepped out.

            Rafe said nothing but was staring at you like he was trying not to respond.

            “Oh, jesus, let’s just get this over with.” Jules finally spit out, “You guys fucked. It’s nothing he hasn’t seen before. Right?” She looked at you to which you nodded quickly.

            “Right?” She focused on Rafe. He only mustered an awkward smirk.

            “Great. Now that that’s over with, _____...” Jules eyed you, “Have fun with Jack. I’ll see you either tonight or tomorrow.”

            At the mention of Jack’s name, you felt Rafe’s eyes flash to yours in curiosity. You blatantly ignored his wonderous gaze & waved at Jules, “Bye, have fuuun!”

            Then you hurriedly slammed the door. As much as you loved Jules for her direct nature, you sorely wished she hadn’t mentioned the two of you hooking up while you were standing there in practically nothing. But, fortunately the moment was over & you could focus on the task at hand: Jack.

            It was nearly three in the morning when you tip-toed into the kitchen to heat yourself up some leftovers. Jack had passed out. You had tired him out. You had always considered your endurance your best quality in the bedroom. It wasn’t often when a man could keep up with you. Jack was no exception, but he was fun, nonetheless. The sex was rushed at first. The second he saw you he couldn’t keep his hands off you. The after having sex that lasted for roughly fifteen minutes, you two relaxed & laughed about it.

            Then you ordered the two of you some food & while waiting for the food to come the two of you hung out on the couch watching an episode of The Boys. After eating & another episode, Jack gathered you in his arms & carried you into your room for second round. The second round was a lot more sensual. Now that the two of you had had sex in a hurry, you two were able to slow down & really learn each other’s bodies. You were winded by the time that session ended. You fell asleep as he scratched your back & when you woke up an hour later, he was still awake watching videos on his phone. You knocked his phone out of the way & straddled his lap. The third time was even more mind-blowing than the first two—being the perfect mixture of animalistic & intimate.

            After that, it was Jack’s turn to pass out. He had commented on your skills in bed & you kicked your feet about it. It wasn’t that you felt validated by hearing a man’s thoughts about what you could do but you also wouldn’t deny how good it still felt to hear.

            You tried sleeping yourself, getting only ten or so minutes when your stomach growled you awake. There would be no good night’s rest until you ate. So, that’s when you decided to go heat up some leftovers from yours & Jack’s order.

            Your apartment was quiet save for the metallic hum of the microwave. You stared at Jules’ closed bedroom door, & it was only then that you realized you hadn’t checked your phone whatsoever since Jack arrived. There was still a minute left on the microwave. You decided you’d go snatch your phone from your room really quickly then give Jules a call while you ate. But just as you entered the hallway, you heard the familiar sound of her keys in the door.

            As quietly as you possibly could, you backed up back into the living room then raced across the room to the kitchen, trying to look as natural as possible. But as you listened for Jules’ footsteps, you picked up on another.

            She wasn’t alone.

            You glanced down. You were in your robe but only your robe. Jack made quick work of discarding your matching bra & underwear. There was a throw blanket on the back of the couch. You made to move towards it, hoping to get it wrapped around you since the robe did little to really cover you, but just as you did, two figures appeared on the other end of the room.

            “Jules?” You frowned. She was slumped against Rafe.

            Your eyes flashed to his, your state of dress forgotten, “What the hell happened?”

            “Yeah, I don’t think she’s much of a heavyweight anymore. She was falling asleep at the bar.”

            Shaking your head, you approached the two of them. Rafe still held her up as you patted her cheeks, “Jules, babe, wake up.”

            But she only moaned & swatted your hand away, “Sleepy.”

            “Okay, okay.” You couldn’t help the glare you threw at Rafe. Whether or not it was his fault, she had only gotten this drunk in the last week while in his presence. You hoped it was just a coincidence but you wouldn’t settle on it quite yet.

            “Can you get some water, I got it from here.” You told Rafe before slipping her into your arms. Jules managed to use her feet to assist you in assisting her as you brought her back to her bed. Jules sighed happily at the sight of her bed before throwing herself down on it.

            You knelt beside the bed, tucking her hair behind her ear, “Did you drink a lot again?”

            “Mmm. Probably.”

            You sucked on your lip, “Jules, you can’t be drinking like that. You gotta be safe.”

            “Safe…very safe.” She mumbled, turning her head away from you as she curled into herself.

            The air in the room shifted as Rafe entered behind you. You stood up, taking the glass of water from him none-too-gently & putting it on her nightstand.

            “You can leave.” You told him without looking at him, “Thanks for getting her home.”

            Rafe scoffed behind you but said nothing. You listened as you heard his steps leave the room. Releasing a breath of air, you stared at your best friend as she slept soundlessly.

            “Jules…” You whispered to no one. Taking her shoes off, you threw one of her loose blankets over her & switched her light off. You’d be talking with her in the morning. You had to make sure that her getting so drunk was her doing & not Rafe’s.

            A muffled gasp escaped you as you closed her door, not expecting to see Rafe leaning against the wall just on the other side.

            You had your hand over your mouth to keep from waking Jules or Jack, but you glared hotly at Rafe over your hand.

            Closing Jules door, you stepped closer to him, hissing, “I told you to leave.”

            Rafe frowned, “Okay, sorry. I thought you just meant the room.”

            “You knew exactly what I meant.”

            You turned away from him, quietly stomping towards the kitchen. Rafe followed behind you.

            “What’s your problem? I thought you’d thank me.”

            “And I did.” You bit back. You were struggling to contain your anger. You had no proof that Rafe actually did anything, after all, he was helpful just last weekend & brought Jules back home tonight, but it still didn’t sit well with you. And your mom always taught you to trust your gut.

            “So why the hostile attitude? Did I do something wrong?”

            Inhaling sharply, you yanked open the microwave door. The food was steaming. But you had lost your appetite.

            “No.” You replied shortly, uncaring if you sounded convincing or not.

            You touched the plate but as you did, you hissed in pain. You were too caught up in your frustrations to remember to grab the plate of food with a hand towel.

            “You okay?” Rafe moved closer, peering down at you as you stuck your thumb in your mouth, sucking on it.

            You grunted in response. But Rafe just stared at you in disbelief.

            “If you run it under cold water it’ll help better.” He told you, his voice flat.

            “I know that.”

            Instead of approaching you, he backed up to the sink, flicking the faucet handle. Then he gestured to the sink, “Well.”

            Biting your lip in mild irritation, you neared the sink & stuck your thumb under the water. It wouldn’t burn, not visibly anyway, but it still hurt like a bitch. The cool water helped though.

            As the water cooled the sensation of your pulsing thumb, so did your anger. Shaking your head, you finally looked at Rafe over your shoulder, “I’m sorry. Thank you for helping her home.”

            “You’re welcome.” He returned, but the nicety has left his voice. He was as irritated as you had been.

            “It’s just, she doesn’t get drunk like this.” You told him, “I mean, she does! But it takes a lot. Like a lot, a lot. So, seeing her get this drunk twice in one week, just has me concerned.”

            “Well, I was there, & I’m telling you, she didn’t drink a lot. I don’t know, obviously, what her ‘a lot’ is, but it wasn’t a lot to me. A beer, three cocktails, & two shots.”

            You thought on it. That was still excessive, at least in your opinion. Jules could normally handle a bit more than that but perhaps Rafe was right. Maybe her tolerance was just changing for some reason all of a sudden.

            “Guess it makes sense.” You mumbled. Your thumb felt better at that point so you turned the faucet off.

            “So, what’s a lot to you?” You asked him, wanting to shift the negative energy between the two of you.

            Rafe glanced at you in momentary confusion before shrugging, “More than that.”

            “Guess that makes sense, too.” You chuckled softly, “You were a big partier in high school.”

            Finally, Rafe’s stone expression cracked as a smirk tugged on the corner of his lips, “Yeah, true.”

            The room was silent for a beat until your stomach growled. Your appetite had returned. Turning your back on Rafe, you went to the microwave & tapped the plate, testing the heat. It was grabbable now. You removed your food from the appliance then took your plate to the table. Rafe watched you silently before slowly approaching you.

            “So, you & Jack, huh?”

            “Hmm?” You flicked your eyes to his, before realizing what he had asked, “Oh, uh, yeah.”

            Rafe nodded, slowly dragging out the chair opposite you before sitting down.

            “And you & Jules.” You added, not wanting you or Jack to be the focus at that point in time.

            “Mhmm.” Rafe pursed his lips, cocking his head as he peered at you, “And you & me.”

            You scrunched your nose in discomfort, but offered an awkward smile nonetheless, “Yup.”

            “Does Jack know?” His question surprised you.

            You glanced away to cut into your enchilada, blowing on it, then placing it in your mouth. You chewed, staring back at Rafe. Then you shrugged.

            “I take that as a ‘no’.”

            “Well, it’s not like we’re together, him & I. He doesn’t need to know about my hook-ups. I don’t ask about his.”

            “But you want to date him.” It wasn’t a question but you still treated it as such.

            “Um, no? I don’t know. Why do you ask?” You took another bite, a lump forming in your throat at Rafe’s invasive questions.

            “Ah, well, Jules was saying that she thought you really liked this Jack guy, more than normal. Said you guys have been seeing each other pretty much everyday since last weekend.” For some odd reason, you felt like you were being interrogated, like a parent trying to get to know their teen daughter’s boyfriend before ultimately deciding that they weren’t good enough for her.

            You shrugged, “Yeah, I guess. But, same could be said about you & Jules.”

            Rafe raised his brows at that, “Yeah?”

            You nodded, “She almost lied to me tonight. Didn’t tell me who she was seeing. She’s never done that before. Plus, she admitted as much that she liked you more than just for hooking up.”

            “Hmm.” He looked away, deep in thought.

            “How does that make you feel?” It was your turn to interrogate him.

            “Not a lot.” Rafe returned quickly. His cold response had your earlier anger become lightly reignited.

            “And that means…?”

            Rafe leaned forward, his elbows on his knees as he gazed at you, “She’s nice, hot, fun. But…she’s not you.”

            The sound of your fork clattering against the plate as it slipped from your fingers made you jump slightly. Your body felt tense at Rafe’s confession. But you had to play it off. Quickly snatching the fork back up, you brushed off his comment with a sheepish chuckle, “Funny.”

            But Rafe didn’t share in your amusement. His unwavering stare was only evidence of his seriousness.

            “What are you trying to say, Rafe?”

            He sighed, his eyes dropping to the opening of your robe. You glanced down & quickly snatched the fabric closer to your chest. He smirked at that.

            “I’m saying that I know you’re wearing nothing under that & I want to see what you’re trying to hide from me.”

            You sputtered in shock, staring at him wide-eyed, “Are you fucking serious?”

            Rafe raised his eyes to yours, “Deadly.”

            “Alright, okay.” You stood up, your half-eaten food forgotten on the table, “I don’t know what the hell you think—’

            But Rafe stood too, quickly invading your space as you stood there attempting to talk him down. He pressed his chest against you & you didn’t have time to create space before he gripped one of your hips. A surprised hiss escaped your lips at his abrupt manhandling.

            “I think that dumbass in there can’t please you like I can.” Rafe spoke lowly, his voice even but firm.

            You swallowed, putting your hands on his chest in an attempt to push yourself away from him, but Rafe was quick to snatch both your wrists in his other hand.

            “What are you doing?” Panic flooded you. If Rafe was fucking with you, you weren’t finding it very funny.

            “I told you.” Rafe then quickly yanked on the ties of your robe & your robe fell open.

            You gasped as cool air suddenly brushed over your exposed front. You instinctively made to cover yourself help but Rafe still held your wrists in his hand. You were breathing heavily, watching in a daze as Rafe’s eyes darkened, staring at your body.

            Then, just as quickly as it happened, Rafe looked back up at you & smirked. Then he let you go.

            “Have a good night.”

            Like whiplash, Rafe was there one second then gone the next. You stood there in the center of your kitchen staring into the direction of the hallway where Rafe disappeared to. The front door to your apartment closed in the distance & you finally released a breath of air you had been holding.

            Then everything that just occurred finally hit you.

            “What. The. Fuck.”

            The next couple months were weird, to say the least. After Rafe revealed yourself to him he was around way too much. He & Jules began spending a lot of time together & before you knew it, they were dating. DATING.

            You sat on what he had done for a couple days before you finally told her about it. Or least, a little bit about it.

            First, you started by asking her if she was really serious about Rafe, like had real feelings for him. When she admitted that she did, you felt torn on telling her the whole truth or just a version of the truth. You eventually settled on just telling her variation of it.

            What you ended up telling her was that he came onto you again but you had rejected him & then he left. That was basically what happened, but you didn’t mention him undoing your robe, & you weren’t sure why. Rafe was no friend to you so you had no need to protect him, but Jules was your friend, & you had never seen her hung up on someone the way she was about Rafe.

            You had seen Rafe multiple times in the window between his harassment of you in the kitchen to telling Jules about it, & in that time he never said or tried anything again. He hardly even looked at you. You reminded yourself that he was an asshole in high school & that he likely viewed what he did as just a humiliating prank. But it wasn’t. Had you not already hooked-up with him you likely would’ve told Jules the whole truth, but since Rafe had already seen you naked & was just pulling one of those idiotic Alpha moves on you in the kitchen, you figured as long as it never happened again you could deal with seeing him & Jules together all the time.

            But it still ate away at you. It bothered you that he had the audacity to not only do that but then move forward & decide to date your best friend. But Jules was happy, more so, she was drinking less. It was the least you could ask for in her questionable relationship with Rafe Cameron.

            On the bright side, Jules wasn’t the only one to enter into an official relationship. After a few weeks of hanging out with Jack & having some of the best sex of your life, you & Jack progressed into a relationship. It felt like ages since you last had a boyfriend, but it felt nice. He was quickly becoming one of your favorite people. Even better, he & Jules got along great. She’d often join you guys on the couch when you watched a movie or show or even help out in the kitchen as the two of you made dinner. They were all good times, but they were often soured by the presence of Rafe.

            Now that you & Jules were in relationships, there was an ungodly amount of times when all four of you would hangout. It was like double dating all the time. If Jules & Rafe wanted to go out to the bars, they’d always convinces Jack to convince you. And then on nights when you worked, Jack would sometimes come in to see you, & right behind him would be Jules & Rafe. Your apartment with Jules was quickly becoming a home to your respective boyfriends.

            Your relationship with Rafe was interesting, too. Though he never made comments or did anything like he did that night in the kitchen, he still always found a reason to talk to you. It was never about anything especially important or engaging, but always just enough to have you two at least carry a conversation for some time.

            Jack still never knew about you & Rafe hooking up the night you all met & you wanted to keep it that way. In fact, you made Jules promise that she would tell Rafe to keep his mouth shut because if ever said anything, even eluded to it, you would make sure he’d regret it. And so far, Rafe never peeped a word about it. The only downside to Jack never knowing about your tryst with Rafe was that they too became good friends.

            Oftentimes, you’d see them laughing loudly with one another, like slapping each other laughing, & always having each other’s back on nights out if for some reason they came across a belligerent asshole. A small part of you was relieved that everything was seemingly working out, but a majority of you knew everything was too good to be true. It’d only be so long before the other shoe dropped. And what kind of shoe it would be had you constantly on the edge…

            But that was the least of your worries as you rushed to get ready. That morning, your mom called you to remind of the charity gala that was being hosted in her name & how you promised to be there. The event had completely slipped your mind. So, all day you were frazzled with that now being your mission. You were forced to call Rosie & explain everything to him, apologizing that it slipped your mind & you would be able to come into work. Fortunately, Rosie said he’d take care of it & that he would see the following night.

            After that, you drove to the shopping district hoping you’d find a dress that would be appropriate enough for the gala. These gala’s your mom attended were high class. No ball gowns or anything extravagant like that (though some people did wear stuff like that), but it was definitely an excuse for those in attendance to show off some of the nicer items in their closet. You had none.

            You got lucky when you found a dress that you could keep & wear again. It was equally elegant as it was just the right amount of sex appeal. Unfortunately, due to the short notice, Jack would not be able to come with you. You learned early on in your relationship that Jack moved to town to open his own café. It had a rough start but once the warmer months came it became a huge hit so he was spending a lot of his time there to help out. And tonight they were having an open mic night for comedians, poets, musicians. It was their first one so he couldn’t miss it.

            You were going to ask Jules next if she wanted to be your date but when you went to her room earlier that day, you could hear her throwing up in the bathroom. She had come down with the flu. So, she was a no go. It bummed you out that you wouldn’t have a date but it was your own fault for completely forgetting about it.

            It was thirty minutes before the gala started & you had just finished getting ready. You still had to drive 20 minutes to the venue so you would be cutting it close but at least you’d be on time. Before you left, you sped-walk to Jules’ room to check on her. She was sound asleep in her bed, a humidifier next to her bed billowing warm, wet air. You quicky stepped into the room & kissed your fingers before placing them on her forehead. You couldn’t afford getting sick after bailing on Rosie tonight.

            Then, you were out the door.

            You recognized the address as being somewhere in the industrial district on the north side of town. That thought made you groan, you hoped they had valet parking.

Traffic was a bitch but you made it with two minutes to spare. Thank you, Valet.

            Once you were inside, you sought out your mom. You found her in the middle of greeting guests as they entered the building.

            “Oh, honey!” She exclaimed, “I’m so happy you could make it.”

            “Of course, Mom. Is there an open bar?” You asked once she pulled away.

            Your mom rolled her eyes knowingly, “So much of your father in you. Yes, yes. The venue is up those stairs there, the bar portion is in a separate room across from it.”           

            “Great, thank you.” You kissed her on the cheek, antsy to at least get a glass of wine in your system.

            She waved you off to continue welcoming guests while you went to go retrieve a drink. After you succeeded in getting your wine, you entered the gala. You nodded impressively. There were a few faces you recognized as close friends of your mom’s & forced yourself to make small talk as you mingled your way over to a table by the windows. Once you made it through, you took a moment to yourself to relax. Your whole day had felt rushed & chaotic so you were happy to finally be off your feet with some sort of alcohol before you to keep you going.

            The charity event started soon thereafter, & before you knew it, you were enjoying your drink, watching as a couple hundred middle aged rich folk raised their hands for the auction portion. Once the auction was through, the host announced that dinner was served & to help yourselves & to enjoy the night while it was still young. You checked the time on your phone, noting it was only 8 in the evening. Your mom begged you to stay at least until 9 that way she can finish making her rounds then she could focus her time on you. You begrudgingly promised you would.

            When she disappeared, you decided to get your glass refilled. You were snaking your way between bodies, aiming for the doors that would lead you to the bar when you abruptly ran into another person.

            “Sorry!” You exclaimed, feeling embarrassed for not watching where you were going. But when the person you ran into turned around, the apologetic expression on your face fell.

            “Well, well. Fancy seeing you here, huh?” Rafe grinned, clearly not expecting to see you either.

            “Fancy.” You deadpanned, turning away to continue on your way. What the hell was he doing there?

            Once you made it to the edge of the room though, you felt a slight tug on your elbow, deterring you from your destination. A curse died on your tongue as you glared at Rafe dragging you through a set of glass doors & onto a patio. You didn’t even know there was a patio. Had you, you would’ve hidden out there all night to avoid Rafe,

            “What are you doing here?” He asked, admiring your outfit.

            “You first.” You battled.

            Rafe chuckled but answered, “Networking.”

            “For?”

            Rafe rolled his eyes, sighing, “My dad’s business?”

            You pursed your lips. You supposed it made sense. But Jules hadn’t mentioned it.

            “Why isn’t Jules here then?” You knew well enough that she was sick & resting at home, but since she had never mentioned it, you wondered if Rafe had even bothered to mention it to her.

            “Because I didn’t ask her.” Rafe responded like it was the most obvious answer in the whole world. But you wouldn’t accept.

            “God, you are such an asshole. She’s crazy about you, ya know. And you treat her like crap.”

            Rafe bit his lip in though, narrowing his eyes at you, “You sure about that? Pretty sure I actually spoil her. More than she’s worth.”

            “Oh, you—” All the possible offensive terms you could think of threatened to spill out but this wasn’t the time or the place, “That’s it. When I get back home, I’m telling her everything.”

            You spun on your heel then, prepared to go find your mom & apologize but you had to leave early. You couldn’t stand to be here for a second longer knowing Rafe asshole Cameron was present.

            But when you left the patio & entered the hall, where there was conveniently no one was around, Rafe snagged you by the waist before shoving you into a bathroom.

            “Rafe, goddamnit!” But Rafe shook you to your core when he pressed your back against the wall & covered your mouth. His hand going to the handle on the door & locking it.

            “I’m gonna take my hand off now, think you can shut the fuck up for two seconds?”

            You glared at him but nodded once. Rafe removed his hand but only stared at you.

            You slapped your hands together, waiting for him to get it over with.

            “I don’t know what the fuck you want, _____. You’re so annoyingly confusing. More than most women.”

            You frowned at that. What was he talking about?

            “You come onto me the night we meet then you suddenly want nothing to do with me. I never asked you out on a date because you said you weren’t interested in dating. I was fine with that, though. I could live with just hooking up. But then come to find out you’re dating Jack, fucking him, too. So, now I look like an idiot because you told me you don’t date. And that’s a lie. So, when I found out & tried coming onto you again that night in your apartment, you rejected me. All for that dumbass in your bed. I mean, what is a guy supposed to think? I’ve been very patient, waiting for you & Jack to get through whatever it is you guys think you’re doing but nope, nope, Jack’s here to stay, Jack’s such a good guy, Jack’s the one.”

            All of his words were becoming jumbled together in your brain. You could do nothing but stare at him wide-eyed & in shock.

            Rafe was huffing, his lips in an upside down smile as he stared through you, “What do you have to say, huh? Because now, all this time, pretending to be into Jules, I’ve just been trying to get close to you. To show you that I’m who you want. That you regret rejecting me. And you can’t say I haven’t been good because I have been. I don’t touch you, flirt with you, make it obvious that I want to fuck your brains out, that I want to beat Jack to a pulp every single time I see him put his hands on you. It should be me, _____. You know that.”

            A surprised but unamused sigh left you. Everything you thought about Rafe was true, but just much worse. He was only dating Jules because of you. Only hanging around because of you. You needed to snuff this man out.

            “Rafe…” You licked your lips, struggling to find the words, “I don’t know where, at any point, you got into your head that we were something more than just a spontaneous, convenient hook-up but that’s all it was. Okay? That’s it. There was sexual tension & I acted on it. Simple as that. I mean, you were gone the next morning! We had nothing more than just casual, one-time sex.”

            Rafe’s eyes narrowed as you spoke.

            “And as far as Jack goes, that’s none of your damn business. I meant what I said when I told you I don’t date but things change, & I don’t care how fast they change, I don’t owe you anything. I’m not some fucking prize that you are competing against Jack for, & even if I was, let me tell you, he is by far a better man you will ever be. A real man doesn’t use a woman to get closer to her roommate, to try & make her roommate, I don’t know, fall for him? That’s some psycho sociopathic shit, right there. Okay?! So, what you’re gonna do now, is you’re gonna call Jules & you’re gonna break up with her. I don’t care how you do it, but you’re gonna get it done. I would love nothing more than to tell her myself about how much of a piece of shit you are, but she’s my friend. My best friend. And I don’t want to hurt her. So, the least you can do is soften the blow.”

            It looked as if he wasn’t listening anymore, his eyes glazing over, but you knew he was. He was hearing every single world.

            “Man up.” You stepped forward, “And give her what she deserves.”

            His eyes finally shifted back to yours, “Careful what you wish for.”

            The look in his eyes sparked a bout of fear within you.

            But then Rafe was unlocking the bathroom door & next thing you knew he was gone. Your heart was racing, the interaction an explosion of emotions. But with him gone, you were finally able to relax against the wall. You placed your hand on your chest, willing your heart to slow down. Jesus. This day just wouldn’t give you a break, would it?

            Unfortunately, your night never improved. When you got home later that night, you could hear Jules crying in her room. As relieved as you were that Rafe called her, you were still disheartened to hear her sobs from the front door. Stopping by your room first, you kicked off your heels & tossed your keys on the bed. Then you hesitantly walked towards her room. Her door was cracked open.

            You were about to enter her room but another’s voice stopped you.

            “I’m sorry, Jules.” Rafe.

            What the fuck was he doing here?!

            Not waiting to get answers from Jules, you slapped her door open, standing angrily in her doorway. Jules & Rafe were on her bed & Rafe was holding her as she cried into his chest.

            “What the hell’s going on here?”

            Jules looked up then but her solemn face quickly turned to one of anger as she set her eyes on you. She stood up, looking you directly in the eye, “I should be asking you that! I trusted you!”

            You stared at her in confusion before glancing at Rafe who sat smugly on the edge of her bed.

            “Jules, look, I don’t know what that fuck told you but he’s ly—”

            “Lying?!” Jules questioned, her voice growing louder, “Yeah, he said you’d say that. But he told me everything!”

            You crossed your arms over your chest, glaring at the unapologetic look on Rafe’s face, “And what was that?”

            “That you’ve been coming onto him for months!” Jules screeched, “I knew bringing him around was going to be weird but if you still had feelings for him then you should have told me! Now you’re telling him to break up with me so you can have him. I can’t believe you would do that!”

            “What?!” You raised your voice, “No, no, that is not what’s happening. He’s the asshole, the creep!”

            “Oh, shut up, _____!” Jules glared at you through her angry tears, “He has proof of you saying so!”

            You stumbled at that, “Proof? What? What proof, Jules?”

            She spun around, snatching a phone that wasn’t hers off the bed before raising it up between the two of you. She clacked on it & then turned the volume up. It was your voice that came out.

            So, what you’re gonna do now, is you’re gonna call Jules & you’re gonna break up with her. I don’t care how you do it, but you’re gonna get it done.

            “Motherfucker…” You whispered in disbelief. But then the recording stopped. Jules played it again.

            You shot your eyes between the two of them before settling on Jules, “That’s all he recorded? You don’t think that’s weird, Jules? There’s nothing before, nothing after, it’s all out of context. Yes, I told him to break up with you but so I could have him! He’s a fucking psycho!”

            Jules shook her head, chuckling darkly as she tossed the phone back on her bed, “I want you out of this apartment. Tonight. And then I never want to see you again.”

            “Jules! No, what? Wait!” But she was shoving you out of her room & before you could get another word out, she slammed her door in your face.

            “Rafe, you fucking asshole! Tell her the truth!” You beat against the door but all you could make out on the other side was Jules bitching about you before her room started blaring music.

            You couldn’t believe this was happening. Rafe had gotten to her. Turned your closest friend against you. Well. Fuck him. He wasn’t going to win. Not that easily. Jules wanted to never see you again, that’s too damn bad. Because you weren’t going anywhere, not as long as Rafe was in her ear feeding her lies.

            You walked into work angrily the following night. Your coworkers greeted you but you could only manage a grunt. Jules was far from happy to see you when you came out of your room that morning but you needed to show her that you weren’t going anywhere.

            “My name’s on the lease. I pay rent. I’m staying.” You told her to which she sneered at you before grabbing her coffee & disappearing in her room.

            Her door was closed but you told her through the door that you would never betray her like that. That the person who was lying to her was Rafe. She never responded, & you never saw her again before you left for work. But you wouldn’t give up.

            You threw on your outfit for your shift then left in poor spirits. Working helped you distract yourself from the bullshit of your disastrous home life & potential friend break-up. It was busy & your regulars listened to you as you told a few of them about few details of your dilemma. They all held hope for you & Jules to figure things out. That left you feeling slightly better. But around midnight, an unexpected guest appeared at the far end of the bar. You smiled for the first time in 24 hours but your smile quickly fell at the furious expression on Jack’s face.

            “Hey.” You said warily, flipping over a 16oz to pour his usual beer.

            “I’m not staying.” Jack told you, his voice hard.

            That wasn’t a good sign.

            “I just came to tell you that Jules told me everything. The recording, everything.”

            “Jack.” You sighed exhaustedly. After last night’s intense fallout, you didn’t think to call Jack & tell him what happened. But you never thought Jules would reach out to him herself.

            “Save it.” He held up his hand, “I just wanted to tell you in person.”

            Before you could try to defend yourself or even explain a little bit, Jack was out the door. You watched tiredly through the windows as he sped off.

            Jack didn’t understand either. He would, but not yet. First, you had to get Jules to know the truth, get Rafe out of the picture, then after all that, you & Jules would tell Jack the truth together. You just had to be strong.

            “You alright, kid?” Rosie’s voice sounded behind you.

            You pressed your lips together, feeling them shake. You felt like crying but you forced yourself not to. Rafe couldn’t get away with this.

            Turning around, your head hung low, you simply nodded to Rosie.

            “Why don’t you take a ten. I can man the bar, start closing duties.”

            You didn’t have the energy to debate it. You exited the bar & went to sit at the far end. Pulling out your phone, you hoped to see any messages from Jules but there was nothing. You tried calling her but your call went straight to voicemail. She likely blocked you. Good thing you lived down the hallway from her.

            Holding your head in your hands, you thought about how you got here. How the fuck did you get here? Everything was fine & then suddenly it wasn’t. You realized you should’ve told Jules about Rafe from the beginning. Told her about how he came onto you in the kitchen that night. If you had, Rafe wouldn’t be in the picture, you & Jules would still be friends, & Jack would be drinking a beer less than 10 feet from you.

            “Fucking Rafe…” You muttered out loud.

            Could this night get any worse?

            Unfortunately yes, yes it could.

            You kicked at the tire of your car, frustrated that it suddenly wouldn’t start. Rosie had already left. He closed up The Garage with you & walked with you to your vehicles. But while he started his up & pulled out of the parking lot, you sat behind your wheel staring mindlessly out the windshield. You so desperately just wanted to talk to Jules, to just tell her everything. It had only been 24 hours & all you wanted was your best friend back.

            So, when you finally broke out of your thoughts & went to start your car, it only added to your shitty night that the engine sputtered then died.

            “Fuuuuuuck!” You screamed, beating your hands against the dashboard. Your hands were throbbing afterwards but you could barely feel it. And if you thought it still couldn’t get any worse, pulling out your phone & finding it dead only proved you wrong.

            “’Course.” Tossing your phone back into your bag, you glared at the bar across from you. There was chargers inside, but Rosie had the keys to get in & you had no phone to call him.

            Getting out, you locked up your car before rounding to the front. There was no point in checking under the hood, you would have no idea where to look first. You had always said that one day you’d learn car stuff for shit exactly like this, but you had yet to do it. It would be next on your agenda. After getting Jules back.

            You glared into the darkness of the road. The Garage was on a long stretch of a two-lane highway. During the day it was used regularly, but as soon as night came, the only reason people were on it was to come to your place of work. There would be no one. It was then that you decided you were going to be forced to walk back home. It was only a mile or so walk, most of it being spent on the highway, but you weren’t stoked about walking down a dark, desolate highway in the middle of the night.

            But what choice did you have?

            Facing your car once more, you kicked at her tire, “See you in the morning, princess.”

            You were only about ten minutes into your walk, your jacket wrapped securely around you as you stomped along the pavement, when you heard an engine in the distance. Now, you weren’t one of those girls who thought to yourself ‘oh, kidnapping wouldn’t happen to me, that’s only in the news’. So, you had no plans to put your thumb out & hitching a ride. Even if it was a nice elderly woman. You had seen too many true crime documentaries. It was better to be distrusting then it was to trust the wrong person.

            Unlike Jules, you thought bitterly. But it wasn’t her fault. It was all Rafe’s.

            When the engine grew closer, you moved off the highway. There were no streetlights on this stretch of the highway, so the driver wouldn’t spot you until they passed you. It also helped you were wearing darker clothes. Otherwise whoever it was might get some sort of idea. And if they did spot you whether before or after they passed you, you were mentally preparing yourself to launch yourself into the woods & make a run for it.

            You glanced over your shoulder as you walked, spotting two headlights in the distance. You hoped they would hurry & pass you by so you could walk freely again without worrying about getting snatched off the road. You already had enough stress on your plate.

            The engine grew closer but as it did you could hear begin to slow down.

            Great.

            Still walking, not wanting to let whoever it was get closer, you spun around expecting to see a middle-aged man giving you a toothy smile. But the lights were so bright you couldn’t make out anything. All you could see was the silhouette of someone sitting in the drivers seat. They didn’t move closer, they didn’t signal for you, they didn’t do anything. Just idled there in the middle of the highway.

            “Alright…” You could feel panic begin to grip you. “That’s not a red flag.”

            But it didn’t stop you. You just kept walking. And as you did, you heard the truck begin to roll closer. As it did, you moved further off the highway until you were forced to walk on the dirt along the tree line.

            You breathing fast at that point. As subtly as you could, you reached into your bag, looking for your taser. You had never had to use it before but you always kept it charged in the off chance you’d need to. And now seemed like it would potentially be that time.

            “_____.”

            The sound of your name horrified you, but more than that, it was the voice that carried it.

            You spun around on your heel, staring wide-eyed as Rafe hung an arm outside his window, his eyes dead set on you.

            “What the fuck do you want?”

            “Need a ride?” He asked, ignoring your question, but there was no sense of wanting to help you in his tone.

            “Fuck no.” You spit, glaring hotly at him, “I am walking home. Carry on.”

            “I’m heading there anyway.” Rafe smirked, “Booty call. You know how it goes.”

            You made a face of disgust. He still had the audacity to talk poorly about Jules even after convincing her that you were the bad guy. But were you surprised? No, no you weren’t.

            “Just fuck off, Rafe.” You dismissed him with a flick of your hand before marching ahead. Much to your chagrin, Rafe only followed alongside you in his truck. You made sure to keep a good distance between where you walked & where his door was. If he decided to jump you again like he had at the charity gala the previous night, you wanted a head start into the woods.

            “We can talk.” He stated, “Work something out. I can get Jules to forgive you.”

            You shook your head in disbelief, running your tongue along your teeth in annoyance. He was just egging you on, wanting to get a rise out of you. Like always.

            “C’mon, you know you’re tempted.” His voice grew lower.

            “The only thing I’m tempted to do is rip your fucking throat out & shove it up your ass so you can taste your own shit.”

            “Well,” Rafe chuckled darkly, “I’d need my throat to taste it, wouldn’t I?”

            Stamping your foot against the pavement, you finally stopped to face him again, “God, can you just leave me the fuck alone?! You got Jules, you won, she fucking hates my guts. I’m the bad guy in this story, I get it. Your narrative is working out great for you, Rafe. So if you’re done boasting, please! Leave. Me. Alone.”

            He peered at you through heavily hooded eyes, an unimpressed smirk appearing on his face, “I didn’t win, _____. Jules isn’t who I want. You know that.”

            His words chilled you to your core. It was then that you were reminded of where you were, or weren’t, which was pretty much in the middle of nowhere. Just you & Rafe.

            “I just want to walk home, okay?” You felt your voice shake with fear. Rafe smiled then. He heard it, too.

            “Ad I’m offering you a ride.”

            You felt your eyes begin to water as you stared past him into the cab. If you got in the cab, there was no saying what he would do to you. Your chances were better outside of the truck.

            “Rafe—”

            “I’m not gonna ask again. Get in the truck, or I’ll fucking make you get in the truck.”

            You shook your head, taking a step back. His eyes flashed to the movement before flickering back up to yours. His gaze hardened, “Fine. My way it is.”

            Before he could shift his truck into park, you were already diving into the trees & running at a full sprint. It wasn’t a second or two later when you heard Rafe’s door slam shut before the sound of foliage being crushed sounded behind you.

            “_____!” Rafe yelled, “Get back here!”

            His voice, full of anger & determination, bounced off the trees as you ran past them & further into the woods. You couldn’t see shit in the dark & you could feel your ankles stumbling & whining in discomfort as you tried to keep your feet ahead of you on the uneven earth. Scared tears coated your cheeks as you pumped your legs, begging to any god anywhere to please get you out of there. But no divine intervention intervened.

            It was the worst feeling you could imagine when you felt a hand grip the fabric of your jacket & yank you backwards. The wind was knocked out of you when Rafe threw you to the forest floor.

            “We coulda worked this out.” Rafe huffed as he stood over you.

            You rolled onto your side, desperate for your lungs to open so you could breathe. But Rafe circled around you like a vulture getting ready for the kill. You weren’t sure you’d even get another breath of air before he stole whatever you had left.

            “We coulda talked, came to some sort of agreement!” He yelled in frustration, “But you’re just so fucking stubborn, so fucking defiant. You like that with Jack?”

            Rafe laughed darkly to himself, “Something tells me you’re not. You’re probably the most perfect woman with him.”

            You gasped sharply, painfully, when your lungs finally opened. Then you were coughing. But as you were coughing, you were searching for your bag in the dark. The taser. If you got your hands on that, you may have a chance.

            “Looking for this.” Rafe questioned.

            In the dark, you peered over at him as he held your purse by a single finger. He shook his head knowingly before gathering it in the palm of his hand & chucking it into the forest. You heard it thud somewhere in the distance. Fresh tears escaped you as Rafe used his shoe to roll you over onto your back.

            “Please, Rafe, don’t. I’m sorry for running.” You weren’t, but it was survival now to kiss up to him.

            But Rafe just stared down at you, “It’s too late for your apologies.”

            He bent at the knees then before grabbing a fistful of your hair & forcing you upwards into a sitting position. A pained whimper parted your lips, forcing you to bite your lip to stifle them.

            “What do you want then?” You cried out, your hands clinging to the grip he held on your hair.

            “Same thing as before.” Rafe responded, his voice flat & emotionless. You stopped crying to stare at him. He only gazed at you unfeelingly.

            “No.” You shook in his hold. “No!”

            You screamed & thrashed, trying to kick at him but Rafe easily overpowered you, forcing you back on your back as he climbed on top of you.

            “No! No! No!” You screamed, cried, begged over & over again. But all of your fight was falling on deaf ears. You beat your fists against his chest & back as he wrestled with you to get your jeans off. The chill of the forest erupted your skin with goosebumps & you felt like your heart was going to burst outside of your chest.

            Rafe was quick to remove his own jeans, shoving them down his thighs. Once he did, he focused on your upper half, yanking your arms out the sleeves of your jacket before pulling the top of your tube top down. You were practically fully naked in the middle of nowhere with Rafe Cameron on top of you.

            But that didn’t matter. You never stopped resisting him, never stopped trying to get him off you or hurt him. Everything you did though, it was like it didn’t register to him. Like he didn’t feel any of it. You knew Rafe was scary but this was a new level. He was a fucking monster.

            His fingers hooked around the fabric of your underwear & tugged on it until you heard the seams snap & tear. You desperately reached for the back of his hand, grabbing two handfuls of his hair before yanking as hard as you could.

            It was the first reaction Rafe gave. He hissed in response, ripping his head out from under your grasp. It was a short-lived win before you saw him raise the back of his hand & whip it across your face. A sharp gasp left you at the assault, & you tasted blood on your tongue as your lower lip burned.

            “This is what you said, _____.” Rafe snarled as he finished tearing your underwear from your body, “’Man up & give her what she deserves’. Those are your words.”

            Sobs racked your body as he repeated back to you your own demand of him.

            “That’s exactly,” He snatched you by the throat & raised you up enough until his face was only an inch away from your own, “what I’m doing. I’m giving you exactly what you deserve. What I should’ve done from the beginning.”

            He released you, & your head smacked against the soft earth but it did little to comfort the blow.

            You whimpered like a beaten & abused dog as Rafe wrestled your legs apart to fit himself snugly in between them. You placed your hands on his chest, using all your strength to prevent him from crushing you with his body but your strength was nothing compared to his. He forced your elbows to bend as he lowered himself on top of you until your chest were pressed against one another.

            “Don’t cry.” He kissed you on the side of your mouth, forcing you to whip your face away from him, “It’s nothing we haven’t done already.”

            A sharp pain shot up your spine as Rafe forced himself inside you. He chuckled darkly to himself as one of his hands caught you by your chin, forcing you to look at him. You desperately searched for anywhere else to look that wasn’t him but he was all you could see. That smug & evil smirk, the glint & prideful glow in his eyes. It only grew worse when he began to groan as he snapped his hips against yours.

            Your fingers dug themselves into the earth as Rafe raped you on the forest floor. You were hyperventilating beneath him, unfeeling from the waist down, but it was a nightmare you couldn’t wake up from. You wished you could do what some women had reported happening when they were raped & how they were able to shut off their mind & go anywhere else, but yours wasn’t doing that. It was happening & you couldn’t stop it.

            Rafe tucked his face into your neck as he moaned loudly & freely, like a predator having caught his unwilling prey in the world of beasts. No one was coming. No one could hear your cries. This was Darwinism at it’s finest. Only the strong survived.

            Your tears had stopped but you were still panting, staring past Rafe’s head at the tops of the trees. You couldn’t make out the night sky beyond them. Everywhere you looked was pitch darkness, & you saw it most whenever Rafe forced you to look at him while he fucked you to his hearts content.

            It felt like hours before he finally came. He growled like the beast he was as he thrusted himself inside you as deep as he could go. You groaned in pain as your hips flared at the stretch of them. Your body shook beneath him as he stilled completely above you. But you could still feel his cock spitting his seed inside of you. The fact of that made bile rise in your throat.

            Rafe rolled off you a second later, hissing as his own body shook with the aftershocks of his orgasm. An ungodly burning & stinging pain originated from between your legs & you were terrified to see what he did to you.

            Then he started laughing. It wasn’t the loud, jovial kind you often heard in your bar, but the snarky, cocky kind that reminded you exactly of who he was in high school. You had heard it plenty of times.

            “God, that was good.” Rafe breathed out, “My imagination whenever I fuck Jules doesn’t even come close to that.”

            Jules’ face flashed through your mind & you rushed upwards. You turned to the side, holding your stomach as you bent over & vomited. Tears returned to your eyes, blurring your already dizzying vision as you emptied what little contents were in your stomach. As you continued to only throw up stomach acid & a few bites of food, you felt a hand on your back.

            A fit of fury came over you & you lashed out at Rafe as he attempting to comfort you. After he just raped you! It was a joke.

            But Rafe yowled as you swung your arm at him. This stole your attention & you peered through your dirtied hair as Rafe held his face. When he removed his hand to inspect his hand, you marveled at the three scratch marks going from his forehead down over his right eye & ending on his cheek.

            All you could do was start laughing. And then you couldn’t stop. You were laughing hysterically, pointing at Rafe like he was a kid on the playground who just got humiliated in front of everyone. He snarled at you, knocking your hand away & catching you by the throat.

            “You think that’s funny?” He sneered.

            You grinned, still laughing despite your air being restricted. Rafe growled before throwing you back to the forest floor.

            “I’ll tell you what’s funny, _____.” He yanked on your shoulder, turning you over to face him, “Here’s the deal. And its your only two options so I’d listen real fucking close.”

            You glared up at him, wanting nothing more than to finished what claws did & tear his skin completely from his face.

            “You’re gonna get in my fucking truck, we’re going to the apartment, & you’re going to go to your room. I’m going into Jules & I’m either going to A. break up with her & tell her we’re together or B. do to her what I just did to you. And I’ll do far worse to her.”

            The threat forced your panic riddled body to leap upwards, “Don’t!”

            “I won’t, unless you make me. That’s your choice, _____. I either stay with her & hurt her every fucking day, or I get you & I’ll never lay a finger on her.”

            You shook your head, staring up at him, “Please, Rafe, you got what you wanted. Just leave us alone.”

            He sighed, kneeling down to be eye level with you, “I want you. All of you. All the time. And for everyday I go without that, Jules will suffer.”

            Imagining Rafe doing to Jules what he just did to you forced fresh sobs from you. You covered your mouth to stifle the cries. You couldn’t let him do that to her. You didn’t care if it meant she’d hate you forever. You just couldn’t let him hurt her. No one deserved that. Not even you. But were strong. You may have been Rafe’s prey that night, but you were a survivor. But if you knew what Rafe was doing to Jules every day in & night out, you’d never be able to live with yourself. One way or another, someone was getting hurt. You knew it had to be you.

            “So?” Rafe tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear, “We have a deal?”

            You leaned away from his touch, but peered up at him through your wet lashed.

            Rafe saw the resolve in your eyes. He grinned devilishly.

            Only the strong survive, you repeated to yourself.

            Only the strong survive.

i'm fuckin' whipped, babes. like whhhhhiiiipped. i cannot believe i cranked this out in less than 12 hours but fuck. i. did. it.

this is 3/10 requests from my 500 followers celebration request opening!

as always, please share your thoughts w me via commenting, reblogging w reviews, or talking to me in the ask box. i'm super antsy to here what ya'll think of this ridiculously lengthy one shot.

thank you for reading! & thank you for the anon who requested, i hope they are happy!

oona<3

Read this post on why doing more than liking a tumblr writers work is essential to our content creation.

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[beomie3]

drive - choi yeonjun

pairing: best friend! yeonjun x reader

summary: life at home isn't the easiest, so one night you sneak out with your best friend yeonjun and he takes you on a late night drive.

content: best friends to lovers, late night drive & ocean vibe, fluff, some angst, mild cursing, tender embraces, sweetheart yeonjun <3

wc: 2.6k

♬ soundtrack:

otw - khalid

drive all night - joan

made in hollywood - lany

drive - glades

racetrack - carwash

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

your eyes: puffy, swollen, and red. cheeks tight from layers of dried tears as you stare up at the glow-in-the-dark star-speckled ceiling of your bedroom.

you hear your parents yell at one another from your bed and a small stream of fresh tears pave their way along the dried ones of your cheeks, turning up the volume of your music to drown out the racket.

it's 11 pm and it's all pouring out of you now. tears, stifled cries. you lay alone; the only being to comfort you is your dog, who tries to get up from her place on the floor when she hears your heavy breathing and sniffles you so direly try to keep down.

you feel that you can't get any of these emotions out to your parents because they'll make a big deal out of it — make you feel that feelings like yours don't and shouldn't exist within you. as if they are ones to talk.

each night you listen to them bicker and argue; feelings of despair only welling up inside you over the years.

trapped within your own home and emotions, having to deal with all of them on your own; having no real outlet except for your tear-stained pillow, some tissues, and your own voice in your head conversing with itself, practically screaming it wants you to get out of the house. get away from it all.

you feel like your life is complete shit, wallowing away in the nagging pit of loneliness caused by never opening up to anyone.

well, maybe not anyone.

and just like you summoned him, your phone dings. you found yourself with a sliver of hope that it might be someone instead of just another dumb instagram notification.

the name yeonjun🦊 on your phone screen brings that sliver of hope to your night. texting or talking to your best friend would surely distract you from the shit show happening in the room over.

🦊: attatchment: 1 video

you clicked the message open, finding a video of your dark-blue-haired boy dancing to his current favorite song as it had come on the radio as he was at a red light; a smile immediately spreading across your face like a wildfire.

you watched him lip-sync the words to otw by khalid perfectly, nodding his head energetically along with the beat. some part of you wished you were there. right there next to him singing along.

you: wish i was there xx

you lay back on your bed, phone face down on your chest as you sighed. contemplating whether or not you should dump all of these pent up emotions onto yeonjun, like you sometimes did because you knew he was always there to listen. he was the only one that you trusted with your deepest, darkest secrets and emotions, anyway.

a small smile crept onto your face at the memory of him in the video; he always helped cheer you up. your phone vibrated on your chest so you picked it up again.

🦊: attatchment: 1 photo

a photo of... your house??? you nearly tripped over a pile of laundry as you jumped out of your bed at lightning speed, peeking out of your blinds to find yeonjun's black mercedes parked right outside. you profusely typed on your phone screen, smile burning on your cheeks, heart racing.

you: yeonjun my parents will kill me!!

🦊: they don't have to know...

and with that, you muffled a laugh with the back of your hand. you literally would do anything to get out of your house right now. it was like he could read your mind. thank you, junie. you mentally thanked him as you quickly tied your shoes, pulling a sweatshirt on and locking your door.

you giggled, realizing that the prior video of him lip-syncing the lyrics i’ll be on the way was meant to be taken literally.

you quietly pushed open your window, gingerly sliding your body out of the little space that it allowed. once you landed on your feet and tip-toed over to the black car where he awaited, a burst of adrenaline kicked in.

you finally felt free.

~

the fresh scent of his car, his glistening smile in the passing street lamps, the comfort of his presence next to you alongside the leather seat you nestled in; you couldn't wipe the smile off your face even if you tried.

"you seriously rescued me, jun," you hugged his arm as a greeting, quickly securing your seatbelt before he drove off into the quiet neighborhood.

"yeah? how's everything going tonight?" he flicked his eyes over to you, half a smile on his lips. yeonjun knew all about your situation at home with your parents; he's known you since your family was once happy and that was years ago.

"i think i heard plates shatter again," you sighed, rolling the window down to trail your fingers through the wind.

"jesus, y/n. i'm so sorry," you felt his eyes upon you as you watched distant neighborhoods out the window grow smaller. although your home life did indeed suck, right now, it all melted away. it felt good to escape from it all.

you looked over at a worried-looking yeonjun, giving his leg a gentle pat. "i'll be okay," you smiled, and he looked back at you briefly; eyes holding yours gently.

through all the years, he couldn't fathom how you handled all of this and still kept that bright smile on your face. how you even mustered up the courage to say it'll all be okay. he slightly smiled, nodding at your reassurance. he promised himself to be here for you. always.

"enough about me, where we headed?" you leaned back in your seat, legs propped up, getting comfortable in the cool leather. it's like the seat had molded to your body with how much you sat in it.

"that's for me to know and for you to find out," he grinned, keeping focus on the road, slightly wincing when you lightly punched him on the arm. his laughter filled the car like music to your ears.

"fine. but we need some music," you cranked up the car volume, rocking your head with the beat, hand out the window to feel the soft air against your skin. drive all night by joan seemed to fit the scene perfectly as it reverberated through the car.

"now this is what i'm talking about." you began to feel your body melt into the seat as your shoulders relaxed, your breathing slow and rhythmic. you already felt happier, calmer; how you always felt with yeonjun.

he turned the volume up a bit more when another of your favorite songs came on -- knowing you'd always blast this song in your earbuds. he drove you through the dark city with the windows down, music blasting as you sing along with it and absolutely jam.

you couldn't help but glance over at him as he drove and sang to the song with his entire soul. driving with one hand, dark blue hair parting over his eyes mysteriously as his beautiful smile beamed like the moon high in the sky.

"i think a late night drive calls for..."

"icecreammm!" you completed his sentence and he could almost feel your smile radiating from next to him. he knew ice cream would cheer you up because it always did.

and so he drove you, fuzzy socks up on the dash as you leaned back in the seat, occasionally looking over at yeonjun as he eyed you when your favorite song blasted through the speakers, both singing it so loudly.

something about him; the way he sits so confidently and focuses on the road, effortlessly and also multitasking; driving with one hand while holding an imaginary microphone in the other and singing so beautifully into it.

you felt a weird sensation in your chest, something you hadn't felt in such a long time; a sparkle that spread into your stomach and made your cheeks grow warm. butterflies.

~

yeonjun had driven you to the beach, the most popular beach in the city known for its ice cream shop that stayed open extra late. it was one of your favorite places.

the ocean at night was rather eerie you admitted, but something about it; pitch black and mysterious, only making itself known through the sound of water folding and crashing together. it made your heart race. similar to the giddy boy next to you.

"so you'll eat half of my ice cream but won't let me taste yours??" yeonjun laughed, eyes nearly closed from smiling, pearly white teeth on full display. you swear your cheeks hurt with how much you smiled, almost as if he was healing something within you that hadn't seen light in years.

the light of his smile. it cured you.

you turned your back to him in a faux pout, waiting for him to wrestle his ice cream cone out of your hand. and boy did he ever, wrapping his arms around you from behind so that the warmth of his skin through the thin fabric of his button up engulfed you, nearly picking you up off the ground.

you freed yourself from his grasp and began running, both barefoot through the sand, shoes and socks long abandoned by the dock.

the sea spray was chilly at this hour, subtly misting your skin after each crash at the shore, cold water barely skimming your feet.

"yaaaaa!" he yelled after you, his pretty laugh ringing through the air as he ran as fast as he could behind you, arms out and yearning to grasp at your shirt.

at last he grabbed a hold of you, causing the two of you to topple to the soft sand, sending his ice cream cone flying out of your grasp and it was too late to be saved. but right now, it was the least of your worries when yeonjun landed right on top of you, tension suddenly rising as his nose was only inches from yours.

it felt like an eternity passed as he just hovered over you, eyes flicking to each of your eyes. your breath hitched in your throat, pupils dilated and not daring to look any place other than the depths of his brown eyes.

it wasn't until his eyes flicked down to your lips that you felt the butterflies in your stomach multiply by a thousand, face growing hot at the sheer tension.

you couldn't help but travel your gaze down to admire his plush lips, knowing that this wasn't the first time you looked at them and wondered what they would feel like on yours.

his finger gently tucked away a strand of stray hair from of your face, thumb sweeping over the plush of your bottom lip and you knew what you wanted in this moment. what you've wanted since you stepped foot into his car and realized there wasn't anyone who understood you like this beautiful boy.

lifting your head from the sand, you crashed your lips to his and nearly had mistaken them for a velvet pillow, the way they immediately engulfed yours without surprise like his lips were made for yours and yours only.

he subtly pulled away, gazing into your eyes with a certain tenderness, not one hint of uncertainty in his eyes. you smiled and the corners of his mouth tugged upward, the prettiest smile you’d seen making itself present.

the sound of waves crashing beside you, moonlight illuminating the beautiful man above you, his warmth pressed to your chest and engulfing you entirely.

he lowered himself fully onto you, a hand in your hair as he pressed his lips to yours again, the kisses pure and passionate, exploring one another’s hair and face with gentle touches.

in this moment, you realized you didn't want to kiss anyone ever again. just him, eternally.

~

"junie, see that star?" you both lay on the soft sand, tousling yeonjun's silky hair as he lay his head on your stomach, both looking up at the speckled night sky.

after hours of deep talks, a few kisses and long embraces in between, this moment felt surreal; like you and him were always meant to share more than just a friendly relationship. this just felt so right.

that said, you were also clueless as to what time it even was. it could be 1am or it could be 4am. right now, it was the least of your worries.

"which one? there's so many..." he squinted his eyes in search of this mystery star you so wanted him to see. you couldn't help but laugh, realizing he probably isn't looking at the same star as you, lightly ruffling his hair at his cuteness.

"i wish i could just live with you," you sighed, absolutely hating the thought of having to go back home in several hours so that your parents wouldn't discover you missing.

he looks up at you, a subtle pout on his lips. he didn't want to leave you just as much, knowing that his heart will break a little when you get out of his car and trudge back into your room just to face the depressing reality of your home life.

the time you spent together was always an escape, a safe place, a time you got to truly unwind and be yourselves. he looked over at you, knowing that one day he'll make the time you spend in this safe place together permanent.

"one day." he reaches up to grab your hand that rested atop his head, interlacing your fingers with his. the sound of that, you and your best friend one day getting to live under the same roof; it gave you the hope that you needed to get through each day leading up to it.

finally checking his phone at 4am and deciding he wanted to take you one last place before driving you back home, the two of you were on the road again.

he took the long route, passing by large mountains and cliffs that overlooked the ocean, watching the orange glow bleed into the sky as the sun was beginning to rise.

yeonjun pulled over at the top of the highest cliff by the ocean, taking your hand and pulling you so that your feet were nearly at it's edge.

looking over the edge took your breath away; this altitude, knowing that if you took another step you'd be dead. but knowing that if you stayed right where you are, you'd stay in the warm embrace of your comfort boy.

the wind blew gently across the ocean, creating subtle ripples and waves, the rising sun reflecting off of the water like a mirror. you both just stood there in awe of the sea, listening to its lull from where you stood and melting into his tender embrace of you from behind.

"this beautiful view. this is what it feels like to be with you," yeonjun's voice rung out softly behind your ear, just loud enough for you to hear. you felt his eyes on you even though you couldn't see him, both smiling as the wind blew your hair softly.

slightly turning your head to look at him over your shoulder, your eyes met his, lost in their dark brown depths. you pulled him in, kissing his lips like it was the last.

in this moment, you felt what it meant to be alive.

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

a/n: as always i appreciate you so much for reading :)) and thank you, with my ENTIRE heart, for 400 followers!!!! u all literally mean so much to me 🫶

[whenthegoldrays]

TOP TEN EUNEUN MOMENTS (according to me)

10. Festival scene

The perfection of this scene, Eun Gyeol at his down-baddest and Eun Yoo putting on a brave face while literally going through some of the most distressing moments of her life, and their being kept apart by the (very understandable) misunderstanding and just. wanting to reach out and be comforted but staying behind those barriers. Chef’s kiss.

9. “Tears in Heaven”

The significance of his singing to her, singing this song specifically because it’s part of the connection they share and don’t realize yet, plus the lyrics being so peculiarly perfect for their situation. And the tenderness in his eyes! (This scene is also enhanced by Eun Gyeol’s later conversation with Mr. Choi.)

8. “You’ll be born just fine”

A tiny moment but so perfect because not only does it show off Eun Yoo’s slightly unhinged sense of humor, it’s also a perfect establishment that they are, in fact, on the same page now. And their facial expressions absolutely sell it.

7. “Under one condition”

This is technically a moment between Eun Gyeol and Yichan, but the fact that Eun Gyeol told Eun Yoo he hated her all of three minutes ago and is now publicly declaring his love for her in front of the whole school (and exposing himself to everyone’s anger in response) is simply too iconic and hilarious and to me, wraps up the essence of the show’s character dynamics flawlessly.

6. “Ajumma???”

Their delivery lives rent free in my head, and they just. hate each other so much right here. Kind of a delight.

5. Once more around the block

Am I overly attached to this scene because of the soundtrack playing over it? Maybe. But the way he cares!!! They’ve had the most emotionally and physically exhausting day and then they get this moment to calm down, for Eun Yoo to lie her head on his shoulder and for him to let her rest undisturbed for a few extra minutes. And!! she goes along with it, because she likes his nearness.

4. “You have three seconds”

The layers and layers to this scene. Both of them pushing their own agenda, both of them wary of the other, both of them YAPPING. The way Eun Gyeol goes from oblivious to apologetic to scared for his life to flustered to baffled in the span of like 45 seconds. And the chemistry is chemistry-ing.

3. “That’s the real me!”

My deep and abiding love for this exchange. Eun Yoo calling back to the pool scene and possibly expecting another fake answer, and Eun Gyeol answering her immediately. He doesn’t have to think up an answer anymore, he knows when he started liking her, he knows why and how, and the truth — that he likes her for her, not for her assumed identity — is so blindingly beautiful to her that she can only shout for joy.

2. “I’ll take my time figuring it out”

Obsessed with everything about this scene, from the callback to the last lightning storm, to Eun Gyeol’s promise to both help Eun Yoo get home and also make sure to draw out their time together as long as possible, to the tension. The longing. And the way the scene is structured around what you’d expect to be the most important part — but instead it draws a curtain of privacy around that moment and leaves the emphasis on his promise and how important and heart-fluttering it is to her. Add to that the beautiful OST and Eun Gyeol dancing down the street in joy and you’ve got a perfect scene to feed my mental illness.

1. “Let’s just stay together”

You knew it was coming. I love few things in this world more than a romantic rain scene, and this one deserves the world for so many reasons. The bigness of their emotions leading up to this moment — her whole plan and perception of her past has been shattered, and she runs away in distress, and he runs after her! He runs through the airport in desperation, he can’t lose her. They’ve been yelling and fighting and sobbing and everything feels like so much, but when he finds her everything slows down, everything can be still and he can just speak honestly. He wants to stay with her. The objections don’t matter. What matters is he wants to be by her side. He wants to shield her from the storm. And she takes his hand and stands up again and suddenly everything is a little less bleak, a little bit warmer. Plus Master watching them in satisfaction that they’ve found their helper? CHILLS.

[pixeljade]

Dungeon Meshi characters and the music I think they'd listen to:

Laios - No real genre cohesion, but loves anything that he can imagine monsters to. He has extensive mental music videos of monsters doing cool things that he will set to songs which he plays on repeat. Probably has more movie and video game soundtracks than actual mainstream music.

Marcille - Florence and the Machine and Hozier are amongst her favorite artists, and she has a soft spot for ALL dramatic and romantic songs, especially with female vocalists. She guards her tastes very carefully, afraid of what others might think, but will gush to Falin about her interpretations of lyrics, and make her playlists all day long

Chilchuck - dad rock and certain folk punk tracks. He's been found in a puddle of tears listening to mountain goats songs about breakups, but he never mentions that when he lists his favorite artists because he wants you to THINK he's not fucked up over it. Will also listen to classic blues.

Senshi - A jazz lover if I ever saw one. He doesnt really listen to it except in the background while cooking or working, but he likes it because it reminds him of the improvisational side of cooking, and how it keeps him moving while he works.

Falin - I think Falin likes a lot of pop but has a particular soft spot for vocaloid, j-pop, k-pop and chiptune. She's just deeply autistic about the artists she likes, doesnt particularly "stan" anyone because she doesnt approach it like that, but she does try to get Marcille into it all (with mixed success)

Izutsumi - the meow mix jingle (breakcore remix) [10 hours]

Kabru - The widest range listener, because he'll gladly listen to and learn about any of the artists people around him listen to. He specifically keeps up with top 40 entirely so he can have an idea whats in the zeitgeist. If you ask him to put on something and he doesnt know your tastes he'll default to a "safe option" like chillhop beats to study/relax to

Thistle - This one I'm not super sure but Linkin Park for sure is a regular listen for him. Will cry-sing along with it. Probably also delves into other teenage angst music ranging from pop punk to emo. Would write his favorite lyrics in sharpie on his ragged converse

Shuro - All classical. He was raised to have extremely refined tastes and can play several instruments himself, but he doesnt have much interest in music really.

Namari - I dont know why but I feel like she'd have an eclectic mix of classic hip-hop artists like Missy Elliot, riot girl music, and old school heavy metal. Also probably has a soft spot for certain pop songs but refuses to admit it.

Mithrun - I want to say he'd be into Shoegaze but like, obviously does not seek out music, so he literally only listens to whatever those around him put on.

Fleki - Psych rock, psy-trance, trip-hop. Do i even have to explain

Lycion - All Hardcore. Loves the energy and will actively mosh.

Pattadol - An absolute Swiftie.

Cithis - The sort to listen to indie pop and then EVISCERATE you for your opinions on music online. Hates Swifties.

Otta - Loves mainstream hip-hop/pop music. I feel like she'd really love Doja Cat.

I think thats every main character. If you disagree with my thoughts dont be mean! We're all just trying to have fun here

[eddie4bat-president]

Thinking about Steve and Eddie who somehow became friends in '84 - I want to say it starts when Steve buys weed but it doesn't really matter. What does matter is that when they hang out sometimes they just drive around, open windows, wind in their hair, listening to each other's music, laughing, singing along.

Which leads to the mental image I need to paint you with words: Eddie Munson, alone in his room, laying on his back on the bed, listening to music.

He's staring at the ceiling with a giddy look on his face, giggling to himself, playing with a strand of his hair, pulling it to his mouth.

He's listening to He's A Dream from the Flashdance Soundtrack. No one can ever know about this.

[blankvort]

you've probably answered something like this but favourite songs from the stage show and i want details, GO‼️

pezberrywhoreee i cannot even begin to describe the dearth of times i have answered anything related to mean girls and the amount of times i have internally cried and screamed wanting to interrupt a conversation to talk about mean girls. i say that god is dead but you are doing his work right here. putting this under a read more because you said details and this became a study of why every song in the stage show is better than opioids and thin mints combined <333 no articulacy here just 8000+ words of vibes and ranting

first of all if cady sings a single line i am violently shoving every note of the song into a mental folder called faves in such eldritch fonts that my brain computer is halfway to summoning cthulhu whenever it loads the soundtrack. she is described as the heart of the story on the backstage casting call page for a reason and that reason is her absolutely incredible range as she struts from the plucky guitar gyrations and membranophone-focused percussion of it roars into the candid, confiding, crescendoing (and other c words you can probably guess based on the verbiage i use in dms) keys of stupid with love and then climb the vocal volcano that is apex predator and akfjskhfidbdihgshejfhiajw i love her and i love her songs and i need to shut up now i’m sorry

second (but not really because i’m still going on and on about cady i’m sorry) i’m upset abt most other productions burying cady’s fourth-wall breaks and kind of making the segue into revenge party less. i don’t know riled up?? because 1) where did my girl janis’s influence go it is so much more impactful when cady’s main reason for going along with the revenge plot and pushing it further is hearing about janis being outed from janis herself! when her main motivator becomes aaron, who she likes super superficially by the time more is better rolls around, you think wow! what a bitch! for even longer! like you don’t even have to cut the “your hair looks sexy pushed back”/”are his eyes gray or green” conversation that prods her into sending gretchen over the edge this isn’t a time issue 2) where did cady’s brain go bring me a whole box of profound regret and impulsive decisions let the people in the back hear the hows and whys of her descent into plastichood and moreover i would like her to sing more and most of all i love it when characters break the fourth wall. by that i mean i want the “sounds kind of bad right to spy on someone but they’re the first friends i’ve had and i don’t want to have none” things back because the narrative nudity and the way it follows the melody of the verses in fearless is a+++

now. my legitimate favorite songs from the stage show in chronological order

a cautionary tale: the repartee the art freaks have is elite and so are their riffs. The lyrics are 3am notes app poetry lines and that’s an amazing thing for mean girls. It’s not the typical broadway opening number but it’s rough and brash and brilliant. To me the cast of mean girls strikes the perfect balance between caricature and lived-in character and the insouciance of this song towards seriousness reflects that wonderfully. Janis assuming the worst of everyone by saying that the temptation to be popular and hot is far too great and saying that you can’t buy integrity at the mall is some nice, if blatant, foreshadowing regarding cady losing her integrity as she gets caught up in the perilous biome of shopping centers with such dangerous patrons as build-dat-bear. The last line of the chorus abruptly changing the amount of beats in the measure adds an extra kick layout fosse quality that i love too. The ending is the apotheosis of mezzo-soprano/tenor harmonization. Need both janis and damian to step on me but for different reasons. No i will not elaborate

it roars: i have a soft spot for wild life but it roars is superior in every way to me because it introduces cady, the show’s sense of humor, the cast’s incredible skill when it comes to singing and dancing (seriously i had never seen an ensemble that made me want to be ensemble before mean girls), and the perfect transition from a cautionary tale will always get me hyped. i have many thoughts about the many changes the mg script and score have gone through throughout the years but oh my god my jaw dropped at the breathtaking belting of “i have danced with the maasai, i have climbed kilimanjaro” when i first heard it mashed up with it roars and the callback the verse gets in fearless 2.0(?) totally dislocated it. Also i know that it’s a pairing so unpopular it’s basically nonexistent but hear me out when i say that it roars is just a more optimistic, afrobeat inspired version of what’s wrong with me. Cady never seems to think that it’s the student body that needs to change, she thinks she needs to fight and win to belong just as gretchen thinks she needs to serve the most powerful person in school to be deserving of… idk anything?? Of course you cannot trust me on this because i will ship cady with anyone if you give me the chance. Writing cady/the marymount girl fanfic as we speak

it roars is the first indicator that musical cady is pretty different from movie cady in that she earnestly wants to go to the us, wants to have more/better friends, wants to try high school and skateboards and rapping and starbucks venti chai. which makes sense because you know you gotta have that sick i want song so characters feel less tossed about and more thrusting into. there’s a better way to word that but i don’t have the skull size to summon a less immature dictionary right now. a curious thing about it roars, though, is that kenya, being a country and all, has high school and skateboards and rapping. no starbucks because apparently rwanda was an easier location to settle into but that’s a good thing actually nobody should support starbucks. either way you can really see that cady’s been sheltered from the realities of any society past the stone age and idolizes this incredibly abstract view of friends and people. she’s equal parts desperate and determined, artless and acute. it’s ironic, i feel that at first her speech patterns (lions and birds and stuff) seem at odds with her sub-saharan surroundings as though she’s already trying to integrate herself with this slangy teenage culture she knows nothing about and then when she finally finds herself in slangy teenage culture she compares everything to the survival-based rules of the savannah. i know this is probably for streamlining purposes but it’s also so interesting to me that her immediate reaction to her parents’ funding being cut is wow adventure wow possibilities. she knows that everybody wants connection but she doesn’t yet know why connection has to be culled by all these arbitrary rules like fashion or acting cool. like i don’t remember where i read this but some novel said that the only thing worse than being smart is being smart and sensitive because then neither the logical nor emotional explanations for any event can make sense. i swear i will find that book someday to take a photo but today i am bedridden because i walked the five or so inches from home to the grocery store

back to it roars. i hate the grammar in the line “none of my closest friends even has hands” but i love everything else about the song. the beat is so bouncy and the ostinati of the wind and brass sections are top tier. the comedic beats are underscored by cutting the music and then the vocals come back in soaring alongside the strongest bass since george perry and i could die happy if hospitals changed the flatline noise to any cady singing “so exhilarating”.

two paragraphs and we’re still going strong dead god help me. personally i feel like the best delivery of the ensemble lines have to be as obnoxious and deafening as humanly possible but i get people who feel differently. it’s just really great to me when cady is polite and confused and very presumptuous and sonja aquino’s actively going through act two of the exorcist in real time. i think that’s why danielle wade is my cady of choice too. love it when autism: the song is put through the epiglottic funnel of anxiety. also i’m wiping tears right now about the fact cady refers to phones as little screens in her first act one song and in the act two opener she’s glued to her phone because she wants attention so badly and still doesn’t feel like she has enough even though she talks about how america and the plastics are so much more than what she’s used to. Also very interesting that cady views inclusion as a game that needs to be won (and eventually comes to view baleful adoration as winning) even though she later exhibits a sort of survival of the fittest mentality that shows up as early as her mention of baboons attacking those that go near their pack. Fun fact i think her takeover of the plastics mirrors dispersal in male baboons wherein mature male baboons leave the pack they were born into to find another troop to temporarily stay in and usually if they end up replacing the alpha male of that non-natal troop they commit infanticide because then he can reproduce with the alpha male’s old mate/s. That’s not super fun but it is a fact to me. but i’ll talk about the strange views musical cady heron seems to hold about winning more in my do this thing essay which i am definitely going to write despite my best efforts to make this post under five thousand words

gonna slide the it roars reprise in here too because it’s not on the soundtrack but it still makes me feel things. “i’m sixteen just like everyone here but not like everyone here” and what if i said mean girls is the best dissection of the torturous dichotomy between being desperate to belong and being desperate to be unique. There’s a thing called theatrical exaggeration but for mental health purposes i choose to believe that north shore class of x immediately clocked cady as a weirdo utterly undeserving of trust or respect when they saw her wear socks and sandals. I know i just complained about people calling every iteration of cady boring but i feel like i haven’t seen actual hate for musical cady (at least not as much slander as i’ve seen sent to og movie and especially movie musical cady) because you can better bear witness to her most vulnerable moments when she’s singing directly at you instead of saying things in a soundproof recording studio. She’s not quitting she’s regrouping! Which is a fascinating choice of words to me because regrouping in math is basically carrying over values because they’re too much. She gets sucked into this idea that more is better even though she has to compartmentalize the information she’s learned from hostile classmates and teachers and draw connections to her experience with animals because more is not better without proper management. Also this bitch is gonna get e coli if the janitors don’t care enough to clean the slut-shaming graffiti on the wall they are not wiping down those cubicle doors

where do you belong: i love gay people. “so what if all the ducklings think you’re ugly it’s because they’ve never seen a swan” is ted talk worthy material. never getting over the fact that damian knew this girl for all of maybe one introductory french class’s worth of interaction, accused her of doing drugs, and then built her confidence back up from the seventh circle of hell. the “your mother called you baby girl?” “singing!” exchange is peak best friend banter and showcases the art freaks’ dynamic of frank, funny jerk with a tarnished heart of gold and budding broadway babe with a shocking amount of wisdom obscured by hilarity and hypocrisy. the debate team rejected damian because he was too fabulous to be deigned to one oregon-oxford role i’ve decided. i love unreliable narrators and damian shooing cady away from the mathletes as soon as she shows the barest interest in them is an entertaining way of showing that nobody in this story is free from social norms. the lunch tray percussion is something all marching bands should adopt and so are the lighting cues. janis’s reactions to damian killing his dance breaks are the best. rachel hamilton is my fave ensemble student i don’t care if she gets maybe two or three lines total.  she was giving bombastic side eyes before anyone knew the word bombastic. i desperately need to know if she knew what cady was actually saying or if she thought cady was just a lion king stan asking to be canceled. damian painting everyone but his two-person clique as problematic is also peak teenage behavior. everything at that age is just finding the lesser of two evils and figuring out whether or not you want to meet the bigger evil anyways. janis deriding “the geeks and the freaks” despite being labeled as an art freak by every mg promo is also amusing and barrett and mary-kate’s deliveries of “christian believers” could send me to heaven any day they want. the ending is so satisfying to listen to and even more satisfying to watch. also i do mean it when i say that cady was adopted by the local gays in this number. are janis and damian aware that having their own table in a school that makes juniors and seniors have lunch at the same time makes them more powerful than all the politicians of the globe combined

stupid with love: ALSKAJLDJASLDAJLLKJ. stupid with love is the best musical representation of how a crush driven by hormones and being treated with the barest sense of humor and dignity can devour a person taylor swift eat your heart out. the music really sweeps you up into this story like you’re a close friend privy to even her most embarrassing thoughts and the way her love life flashing before her eyes just shuts out whatever aaron was going to say about lebron james is the funniest thing because yeah! you can be convinced you’re totally in love with someone when you’re that age while ignoring everything that makes them a well-rounded human being! the way cady’s clearly grown up in a caring household that’s so chock full of trust that her parents can’t fathom that she’d do anything remotely dangerous while having the whole house to herself for more than one hour BUT also feels like she doesn’t “get” love is super interesting to me to like most sixteen-year-olds have the idea that their parents don’t understand them sure but has she come to the conclusion that familial love isn’t enough? that she doesn’t get enough familial love anyways? that love is unknowable? does she wholeheartedly believe that she fell in love at age five? stupid with love is a song of so many possibilities and it’s as giddy and delusional as you’d expect, every emotion heightened by cady’s new brand of eloquence. fetch may never happen but calculust absolutely should. the little snippets of dialogue in between are so endearing on both cady and aaron’s ends to the point where i can forgive ms norbury clearly not knowing how to conduct a class. who’s gonna tell cady to raise her hand before she answers. i’m kidding she can do whatever she wants, even ignore the existence of multiplication. multiplication is a bitch cady i get it

we once again see that cady is determined almost to the point of self-destruction and that she’s desperate to live a ‘normal’ life by getting together with the normalest boy of all time and the song so perfectly sets up why we should care about cady and aaron as a couple–he’s the only person thus far to not even suggest what she should think/do, encouraging her in a teasing way to be herself (ie smart) instead of telling her to be dumber so he can feel better about himself. cadaaron is the only straight ship ever argue with the wall. also the instrumental on its own is literally such a bop?? i’d drop a grand piano on myself daily if the keys could just perpetually play the song. quoth my own blog my heart belongs to every video out there of a cady opting up on the last “i learned math so i can learn love” it just fits so well thematically and makes the song even more satisfying because it makes you think yes!! summon that girlfailure swag and learn love. also this song is so next to me from twihard: a new musical coded with the pencils and/or feet providing the musical pulse. this is me very subtly begging you to listen to twihard: a new musical as put on by the esoteric ensemble productions and uploaded like a full decade ago starring danielle wade 

apex predator: i love women. i love bon jovi. i love zoology. this song was made for me tina fey told me herself. i can even forgive whoever made halls rhyme with dolls because of the regina furry confirmation. the first few chords kind of give me jaws theme vibes. it’s grinding and warning and doused in grit. you get the brightness of cady’s other songs cut with the flinty, darker strings of janis’s numbers. the heavy drum sort of sounds like a heartbeat, quickening as cady realizes the might of the pride and considers how regina’s help compares to janis’s in an almost clinical manner. shout out to erika henningsen’s “exotic pet” obviously. that line should be studied by every ivy league with a literary program because regina and cady considering the other an exotic pet instead of a real friend but still seeking each other’s approval……. maybe the narrative foils are really reflections of my tin foil hat but hear me out. it’s so interesting that they refer to regina as an apex predator because apex predators are animals without natural enemies but almost every single friend or admirer of regina’s exhibits an envious kind of awe when it comes to regina. regina’s so magnetic that you can’t be her enemy but close enough to pseudo-celebrity that you can’t exactly be her friend either. also the harmony at the end combined with the epic percussion deserves its own award. no longer does egot mean anything. One must be an egota (emmy grammy oscar tony apex predator singer) to be considered showbiz royalty

stupid with love (reprise): cady is so so smart and so so stupid. aaron getting confused at a genuine compliment not solely based on his looks is adorable but i also love it when the line delivery gets changed to be more like “wow i already know i’m cool but it’s nice to hear it from the cute possibly murderous girl who sits behind me”. same goes for cady’s “shit” right after aaron swears off dating–it’s funny as hell whether she’s smiling through the pain or so disappointed in herself she looks like she’s experiencing medical shock. her making love into a function is similarly messed up but funny as hell. i literally have a google drive folder full of audio clips of the “i just don’t get it–i’ll never get it–i just don’t get it–somehow…” part it’s so serious

sexy: this is modern feminism talking i expect to run the world in shoes i cannot walk in - the greatest mind of our generation karen smith. if the national emergency alarm was changed to the ending riff i would become an arsonist just to hear it over and over again. a youtube commenter said that she sings every line like she’s waiting to be shown the script and redo it and whenever acting and singing can waltz along in magnificence together i sob in joy even if that waltz is set to trashy pop. literally every costume shown is worthy of fashion week and then some. the sex doctor bit is beyond saturday night live. sexy rosa parks deserves the world. modern feminism is a mess but at least it built the last verse of this incredible song.

someone gets hurt: regina pretending to cry and aaron being confused again and then being manipulated into a makeout session is so so funny. so terrible but so funny. the incredible blare of noise after that first “until someone gets hurt” feels like being pushed off a cliff and into a sea of warning sirens which feels fitting. if any song from the stage show were to be played by a chamber orchestra i would want it to be someone gets hurt because everything about it is almost four seasons by vivaldi to me. as i said do not expect sensible comparisons from this review. it’s really dark and intense like all of regina’s numbers but this time her style of seduction is on full display, highlighted by some heavy timpani work and a male ensemble that’s carrying more than just regina on their backs holy cow. squidward would worship regina with how she made the bass clarinet sultry despite hitting something in the high fs during each “hurt” and holding that “go” for like five seconds. the ending is giving celine dion’s villain arc. it’s also maybe the first time the audience sees aaron through the eyes of anyone other than cady who’s so starstruck she might as well be blind and we see a guy who’s still susceptible to regina’s yknow reginaness. she guilt trips him about his potential infatuation with his body and then gets extremely touchy with him while wearing a playboy bunny costume. she asks if she was a game he wanted to play despite (maybe devoid of remorse) playing him just to get back at cady. she’s making so much shit up because peeling away too many layers of her perfection would be dangerous but so would losing aaron to cady’s actual openness. first she says “fine” to mean that she’ll be fine without aaron in the reverse psychology sense, then they say “fine” to mean that they’re both hot af, then he says “fine” to agree to get back with regina and possibly to convince himself that his interest in cady can and should be pushed aside because being with regina is better for them both. love this song. hate being unable to sing a single note of it.

revenge party: my overall fave song of the obc album, the stage show, and the movie musical. words alone cannot describe the excitement that electrocutes my nerves when i hear “now you know, caddy—” because everything from that line onwards is going to be stuck in my head for at least a week. some people can’t function until their first cup of coffee in the morning, i can’t function until my first listen of revenge party. in slight relation to that gretchen’s squawking will make me spit out any drink; such has been scientifically proven over the course of several years. i actually have a line-by-line analysis of revenge party drafted so i won’t go into detail right now because i need viewer retention but i mean it when i say art freak harmonization is the best kind.

whose house is this: if kevin g has one fan it is me. let the man rap even if half his lyrics don’t make sense. i have heard the big fun from heathers comparisons. i have heard the halloween from be more chill comparisons. all of them are so incorrect i could set several houses ablaze with the rage i feel at the very suggestion that whose house is this isn’t a masterpiece. no joke this is the first song on my workout playlist. the way nobody even cares about cady in this number is hilarious and so is kevin refusing to swear. gretchen deserves all the thank yous and so does the horns section. karen’s actions are just. Absurd as they always should be. the mario kart ass instrumentals during that “turn the freaking music up” segment make me pleasantly stressed. there are traces of jungle techno but little to no traces of cady’s signature sound and the usually lax but articulate and expressive rhyme scheme of her songs switching to frenzied verses full of immaturity and inconsideration makes me feel things that should not be felt while listening to a rave number with flatulent bass.

more is better: the only romantic duet to ever exist if you ask me. the fact that cady switches from the more sincerity-charged love to like most likely because the plastics’ philosophy is to be cool about things makes me want to bite the bars of alcatraz prisons. the way cady’s signature sound only really returns after aaron chooses to leave her because she’s become regina 2.0 without even acknowledging it is the stuff of emotionally resonant legend. as i said in my aaron review post the only thing that bothers me about this number is aaron kissing cady while she’s clearly drunk and he isn’t but cady kind of gets him back after do this thing so. yay equality. aaron’s so tired of being manipulated and told to shut up i feel so bad for him. cady’s so in denial about missing her old home in any capacity and being uncomfortable with the skin she’s tried to grow into for aaron’s sake and i feel so bad for her. the shimmering sound that comes with cady singing “stars” makes me feel better though. 11/10 would be sad again. say no to excessive air conditioning and light pollution

someone gets hurt (reprise): i like it when gays have bad breakups without even dating. what more do you want. but actually i am obsessed with the way this is blocked out because the way the chaos of cady’s house gradates into the dark street where there’s nothing but her and her crumbling friendships. the link between janis and regina is really reinforced by this song and it makes me feel insane.

world burn: the only way regina can redeem herself for wearing a black turtleneck and black pants is by slaying so hard you forget she’s just printing shit and polluting the corridors and she does it in world burn. her having a recurring set of notes to follow until she absolutely loses it is iconic. i learned so much about hernia formation through this song so i think it’s also an educational heritage site. the contrast of her 1984-esque lyrics and beats with lines like “trang pak is a grotsky byotch” is beyond hilarious but in the context of the show it makes my timbers shiver. she is both manipulated and the master manipulator. renee rapp’s opt up for the ending is golden but every regina brings their own flair and intensity to it. something that really interests me is how different actresses interpret the lines “this is what i get for helping / helping someone lame fit in” because to generalize regina either thinks she was actually helping cady or is trying to convince herself/the audience that her primary motivator was controlling cady’s every action before she got too hot to ignore or because she saw her hanging around janis and damian or because regina can’t ask a girl out like a normal person. idk it’s very fun and very satisfying to listen to and ramps up the ante for all antagonistic songs ever!

i’d rather be me: did you mean the feminist anthem of the twenty-first century? i’d rather be me is pure janis in her sort of jumpy, edgy, eleven o’clock exasperated glory tuned to this effusive fusion of pop and rock. the energy this has is soooo good because every girl in school is tired of being treated like shit because of the expectations placed on them by society and the idea that by i’d rather be me the female student body of north shore is so exhausted of the plastics’ bs that they parade janis around despite shunning her for years is amazing. most criticisms of this are abt how wordy it is or how it’s not worded right but hello janis is a teenager her inner and outer monologue is not going to be as mature as fucking grizabella the glamor cat and it can include words that anyone would study for the sats like sycophant. sycophant is not that fancy a word i learned the word sycophant from a star wars fanfiction i read when i was seven how could you not know the word sycophant at age seven squared after making a living out of reviewing shows written by wordsmiths like sondheim. sorry that was mean i’m just tired of people either going “they wouldn’t talk like that they’re teenagers” or “they shouldn’t talk like that they’re part of a theatrical production worth millions of dollars!” lmao

ok so i think that janis was losing herself just as much as cady over the course of the revenge plot taking place because okay she’s ruined regina but she’s barely changed anything about herself and if her plan had worked without hitches wtf was she going to do. was she going to keep hanging out with cady. was she going to fill the power vacuum left by the plastics herself. was she going to run regina over with a bus herself. i’d rather be me is the culmination of the crushing pillars of her revenge plot and the full realization that revenge wasn’t what she wanted–she wanted to change the way the world works, change it into a place where people can just do and be without being ostracized. to me the instrumentals and the mockery in the lyrics are almost stinging?? someone with even could describe this better than me but the strings during the instrumental section between verses remind me of a mosquito bite because they’re high and sharp and put against the heavy drums and cymbal crashes they really paint this picture of a dam of anger breaking and giving way to a new wash of awareness. 

also i cannot stand it when ppl say this song is the show giving endorsement to janis being a hypocrite there is a reason why all the lyrics are in future tense. she is wrapping her mind around the notion that there is no pleasing everyone, that there is no true gratification gained by holding grudges and letting them control your every thought, that if you don’t let yourself have the liberty of lashing out you’re only going to manifest your maliciousness in worse ways with longer-lasting effects. that being said let girls be haters

also the obc album should’ve let janis swear. every public performance of i’d rather be me should let janis swear. let her have a line with bite before her throat turns into a cavern where vowels go to melt into a singular solution

also janis’s costumes over the course of the whole show are amazing but her look in i’d rather be me goes so hard. if i had any of janis’s jackets i think i’d curl into it like a cocoon and wait until the heat death of the universe for metamorphosis into coolness

do this thing: no joke this is the second song on my workout playlist. i hate the title so much but i love also the audience reaction when ms norbury starts singing as if she didn’t just slay the what’s wrong with me reprise gets me every time. truly the actresses in the adult women track are so underappreciated and so are the adult women in general. kevin g’s unabashed doing of the thing regardless of the haters is iconic. the return of the heavy percussion is so enjoyable and so are the mathletes’ lines lining up with the steaming kettle sound somehow behind each buzzer even though i hate buzzers because in real life mathletes nobody wants to answer on beat. ms norbury best matchmaker ever i LOVED the detail of aaron being present for the mathletes’ win but cady clearly focusing on the competition above all else. i’m pretty sure the mathletes are also the only characters to drop an f-bomb in a song which is just fantastic + the gretchen/regina parallel between kevin and marwan regarding schquillz is phenomenal. “the limit does not exist” being both the answer to the question that signifies cady’s return to her old self with more self-assurance and the theme of the musical in terms of not limiting other people is a level of genius i will never reach.

i see stars: i’m sorry they gave cady a big finale where she calls everyone beautiful and bright and holds hands with the other girls she’s hurt and you expect me to not love it?? this one had to grow on me though because i was so bothered about the stars imagery coming up maybe like five songs before when we’d been following animals and math for the whole show. as we all know characters can only have one or two interests before they become completely incoherent. but now i know more about light pollution and have played the video of this song with the pride chorus more times than i’ve blinked so i get it. shane oman also breaking his crown during the escalation of the instrumentals from a very optimistic but singular combo of strings and cymbals into the violins and heavier drums and whatever else is such a good detail. i still get goosebumps with that “you stars” there is just so much emotion packed into this finale and the rest of the ensemble joining in is as effective as onions being cut directly into my eyes when it comes to crying. obviously my fave version of this is the one with cady and janis’s mini duet during the rhinestones don’t shine part but guaranteed this one will make me cry no matter what

now. for the songs that didn’t make it onto my absolute fave list they are still my children just bastard ones and i will go into detail about them too because there is no point in writing this post if it does not crash the tumblr dashboard for you

a cautionary tale (reprise): akin to its origins, the reprise of a cautionary tale kicking off act two is there to introduce the act, but unlike its first iteration, the reprise is literally just there. no jokes no nothing. would love to see it reworked into something that reminds the audience they’re north shore freshmen being told this story by janis and damian because i forget about that framing device until the dialogue break in i see stars every time lmao but other than that it’s serviceable and any song that involves art freak harmonization is a solid song

meet the plastics: maybe i don’t love women as much as i claim to. I don’t know why i don’t like this song more truly. Maybe i just need to listen to it more lmao because the lyrics are great, the tempo changing with each introduction is great, and gretch waiting until regina’s out of earshot to try and convert cady into a fetch truther is great. Maybe it’s the “humps my leg like a chihuahua” line that turned me off from it because nell benjamin i do not care that you wrote legally blonde i do not think regina george would bring up animal humping imagery considering what her mother puts her through unless she was hopped up on pain meds. All that being said i would die for the polyphony at the end and karen playing with cady’s hair near the end is so cute

what’s wrong with me: gretchen it’s not you it’s me and i like songs with a specific sort of climax and what’s wrong with me really does feel like a music box piece played by some dusty not-quite-antique you find in the attic that makes you feel a particular, peculiar strain of melancholy because it’s so cyclical and fragile. which is the point, probably! It just sounds really different from the rest of the show and i feel like the lyrics don’t quite fit the language we’ve heard gretch using so far but maybe that’s also part of the point. That being said the line “see that you see what’s wrong with me” makes me go mad because there are so many ways to interpret it. Is she telling the audience that they should be able to see what’s wrong with her? Is she saying that the audience sees something good in regina that she can’t see anymore because of her constant mistreatment? Is she once again asking what’s wrong with her or has she finally had a breakthrough about her dismal self-esteem?

fearless: oh my god a cady song and act ender that i’m not totally into sound the sirens. but really fearless without the revisitation of the it roars/wild life passage that tells the audience what makes her fearless aside from wanting to move to america (which might make her more fearless than i thought now i sound that out but still) isn’t my favorite songs despite it having some of my favorite moments like karen’s ribbon dance, gretchen’s very cool dance, cady mirroring regina’s pose on top of the cafeteria table at the start of meet the plastics at the end, the mini someone gets hurt reprise at the end, it isn’t my favorite to listen to because the lyrics are just all over the place. Cady why are you saying that she’ll go cry to mama do you think mrs george is sober enough for that. Cady why are you spouting live love laugh merchandise ass quotes. Cady why are you quoting dwayne the rock johnson “imagine stronger, better, bolder” are you going to play a lacrosse game against regina. Why does karen not wear more vests after this number

You know what made me care about fearless?? The fearless reprise. Oh my god the fearless reprise. I need to make a separate post about the fearless reprise but i can’t listen to it more than once a day or i’ll end up crying for hours on end.  

stop: is it homophobic of me to put three damian songs on this list? probably but i make up for it by filling that broadway cares bucket every time i can. and it’s not that i even really dislike stop!! I have so many thoughts about stop!! i just don’t like it when compared to the other songs that can hold up inside and outside the context of the show!! i just feel like it has to be experienced live to understand its award-losing enormity unlike where do you belong and even then it sounds noticeably different from the rest of the show + essentially pauses the narrative to talk about a whole other story that never gets resolved outside of damian being ghosted (i thought theater was supposed to provide escapism 😔) and then frays a bunch of threads out from the ensemble in a way that doesn’t feel quite as well sewn in as the worship we see during apex predator or after rockin’ around the pole because like. it’s funny sure but just the act before we saw that things can be funny while also moving the story along past attempting to hammer in the message “stop ignoring your real friends” in cady’s thickened-by-makeup head. 

also how does damian even know about her word vomit. cady barely even word vomits in the stage show. it’s all just word coughing fits of confusion and unintentional comedy under peer pressure. whenever she says something embarrassing she either gets cut off or turns it into a whole song. i’m sorry damian i love you and your stupid straw hat but we just saw the whole show we don’t need a recap of everything that happened in the last hour with almost zero internal rhymes and without the frantic pacing of ya got trouble from the music man. cmon.

onto things i love about stop tho which are a) the gaiety (and gay-ty) b) the dancing and c) the staging. i love it when gay characters just get to be silly goofy instead of singing themselves to their graves and even if damian was built off the dramatic thespian homostereotype he gives me the impression of a silly goofy teen trying to balance the interests of his best friends with his sanity through the medium he’s most comfortable in which happens to be literally show-stopping song-and-dance number. also we get cadnis content in the background and the choreo i’ve seen for how janis plays keep away with cady’s phone only gets better (which of course is a synonym for gayer. let the babies hold hands before they yell at each other in the street and see a 15-second death they’re both sort of kind of responsible for). the dancing of course is wonderful. i mean does it make sense in-story for damian to somehow be popular enough with the ladies to rally them into a giant dance break after asking them to divulge their biggest, darkest secrets like an hour after being kicked out of the girls’ bathroom and calling one of them danny devito? probably not. is it really enjoyable when you aren’t itching to get back to the main story? yes. it also makes north shore feel more authentic in a sense?? obviously there’s so much about the social hierarchy exaggerated for comedic effect but yeah public high school is that crazy one day you’ll hear that a classmate got into a drunk driving accident and the next you’ll hear that the same classmate scored an audition for the x factor. and the transition from the art classroom, which is one of my fave sets in the whole show because aghhhh i want to pause everything and analyze art whenever it comes up in a tv show or movie or video game or musical because it’s almost never just art present for the sake of filling the set! there’s a reason why the set designers put that there or downloaded that asset or whatever! based on the official yt video in stop we see a sort of cubist portrait of janis ian, a few monochrome figure studies, and some more abstract pieces and i so want to know what this number would’ve looked like in-universe. did cady legit just run out of class to confront damian and get swept into a gay tea spilling session until the end of the day. be glad you got suspended girl

so. while i cannot begin to fathom the stamina it takes for damian to go from that gorgeous dance break into the grand vocal ending—philip doesnt know what he’s missing out on for sure—stop is not something i play on purpose but if the obc album shuffles to it i won’t complain!

what’s wrong with me (reprise): is it homophobic of me to put every gretchen song sans whose house is this on this list? probably but again it’s just not something i can put on repeat/a number i think depends on the production to arouse much entertainment value. it’s fucking hilarious though i’ll give it that. like it might be in the top three of mg songs when it comes to unadulterated comedy. my heart breaks when gretchen realises she’s stuck in this cycle of servitude and is still being hurt by the people she most desires the approval of and her work is still going unappreciated and then i get a heart attack from laughing because regina’s reign of terror is so absolute even her own mother has feared her from the age of three onwards?? in addition to that what’s wrong with me reprise is why i cannot stand for mrs george hate she’s just a girl too. a toxic girl who never emotionally developed past high school but like. what do you want her to do. she has never had a heartfelt conversation with her daughter ever. also “why couldn’t it just be drugs” is so funny to me because yknow. reggie gets hit by a bus and spends the rest of the show so high she forgets her love languages are acts of slanderous service, passive-aggressive gifts, weaponized physical touch, quality time spent playing hard to get, and words of refutation. taylor louderman deserved a tony for pulling the kalteen bar scream off every night too i think it’s night queen aria levels of difficulty.

the funniest part of this song to me is probably the way it starts and ends so abruptly. usually you can tell when a song’s about to start in a musical but gretchen nearly breaking down into sobs as soon as cady turns her non-self-tanned back without missing a beat is both relatable and hysterical. my girl is clinging to les mis motifs and middle school herd mentality in a world meant for fosse tributes. the spotlight is only on her when she talks about how dim her light feels in comparison to other characters. then mrs george joins in and you get the first female/female duet to rival defying gravity since idk. everything in fun home. i take cash and credit not criticism.

but really the gretchen/mrs george connection is so interesting because they tether themselves to regina in a style that’s irreconcilable with happiness on either end and they know that but possibly for a mix of selfish and sympathetic reasons don’t want to leave in any capacity. the way they’re separated on stage by little more than a change in colored lighting is interesting too and raises the question of whether or not they’re aware that regina’s sun is burning those closest to her in general.

also. can plastic cady snap and yell at me i want to feel something

in conclusion i love you pezberrywhoreee thank you for asking this. i think i said the words “also” and “but” more times than i said the word “gay” and that’s a real hurdle to fly over. i think i expect many random things in your inbox hereafter as retribution/reward depending on how you see it

[bmcblr-remake]

AUDITIONS INFO

if you want to be like mentally prepared on whats to be expected or something idk

---- all auditions here ----

actors/auditions FAQs

----

what you will be doing:

if you get a conducting video: you will be asked to sing along to a video of someone conducting. we are using conducting videos to make sure everyone is in sync, and i need to be sure you can follow conducting. it shouldnt be hard its sort of like a metronome you just need to be able to keep tempo, and understand when to start singing after a pause. there will be an example video (conducting along to the og soundtrack) and the actual backing track (conducting along to instrumental). please be sure the backing track is playing in the background and audible

if you do not get a conducting video: there will just be a backing track. if you dont get a conducting video dont stress about starting at the right time after a pause, just be sure you can keep tempo. we will still be using conducting videos for the actual remake, you'll just have to learn along the way if you get cast. please be sure the backing track is playing in the background and audible

----

what im mainly looking for:

your own portrayals of your character. im giving you complete creative freedom. say your line a different way, or faster or slower if you want. take a breath in the middle of the verse. make reaction noises. pitch your notes higher or lower if you have to go the troy iwata rich route. pretend youre actually doing the show live, some minor changes can be made here and there

you can keep tempo. of course if we have conducting videos it would be easier but if we dont, try your best and dont stress about starting at the right time after a pause. just be sure you can keep tempo while youre singing

not mic quality lmao. you dont need a professional mic or anything as long as whatever youre using is decent quality it should be fine. BUT please use whatever you will be using if you get cast. phone mic, singing recorder app, voice notes app, whatever

----

what you will need to submit:

MAJOR CHARACTER

REQUIRED:

an approximately 1 - 1:30 minute audio clip of a song from bmc. the required song for each character will be listed below

an approximately 1 minute audio clip of spoken lines of choice, recommended from bmc. i know there arent a lot of continuous spoken lines so you can just say your lines and pause when the other character is speaking if you pick a scene like that

OPTIONAL:

any song that makes you look good! give me anything you did best in, it can be from bmc but it doesnt have to. can be as long as you want. please be sure the video is fairly recent i need to see what you can do now, not what you could do 6 months ago

(edit we most likely will not be adding lgw)

-- REMEMBER I WILL BE ALLOWING A COUPLE MONTHS OF WIGGLE ROOM FOR AGES. you will just have to specify in the audition form

jeremy: required song: more than survive/voices in my head. take your pick age limit: at least 16 and up

squip: required song: the pitiful children age limit: at least 16 and up

christine: required song: i love play rehearsal age limit: at least 15 and up

michael: required song: michael in the bathroom age limit: at least 15 and up

rich: required song: the squip song. will NOT be required to screlt please dont kill your voice age limit: at least 15 and up

jake: required song: halloween. specifically his solo age limit: at least 15 and up

chloe: required song: do you wanna hang age limit: at least 16 and up

brooke: required song: do you wanna ride age limit: at least 15 and up

jenna: required song: the smartphone hour. will not be required to hit her high ass notes age limit: at least 15 and up

--

MINOR CHARACTERS:

REQUIRED:

a 30 seconds - 1:30 minute audio clip of a song from bmc. the required song for each character will be listed below

a 30 seconds - 1 minute audio clip of spoken lines of choice from bmc. recommended spoken lines for each character will be listed below

-- you guys are a little more relaxed lmao you wont have to do 1 minute clips. a little shorter is fine

mr heere: required song: the pants song. 1 - 1:30 minutes long recommended spoken lines: your choice but i recommend the argument with jeremy

creepy stock guy: required song: "it's from japan..." literally the only bit he sings. not sure if backing track will be provided yet recommended spoken lines: again literally the only bit he says

mr reyes: recommended spoken lines: idk anything he says take your pick. i dont think he sings

note: it is very highly recommended you are close to the og range of your character, so the sheet music writers dont have to transpose stuff and do more work. dont worry if you cant hit every single note! remember im being very lax with creative choices. this is from the concord records website so im assuming its accurate

you will be emailing your auditions files to bmcblr.remake@gmail.com and then filling out a form to verify your age.

JEREMY AUDITIONS: opens 29th may

EVERYONE ELSE: opens LATEST 10th june

----

IMPORTANT:

i WILL be asking for your age unfortunately. please dont lie about it, some actors are uncomfortable with certain ages and we have to respect that. also ill be able to tell when you start singing i promise you i wont share or remember it afterwards and i promise you i dont care lmao

speaking of remember there ARE age limits to all major characters. i might allow 2-3 months of wiggle room, 4 if we're pushing it, but you'll have to specify in the actual audition and ill have to check if your potential co-stars (wow CO-STARS we're getting serious huh) are comfortable with that

feminine and masculine voices wont matter! if you have a fem voice and want to audition for michael go ahead. if you have a masc voice and want to audition for brooke im not stopping you. as long as you can hit the notes well you should be good. if anything this makes bmc more gay and thats very on track with tumblr

there is a chance i will do callbacks and you might be casted as another character if i (or future casting crew) think you fit! but that being said please dont try to cheat the auditions and audition for one with the other in mind

there will be a "main" actor and an understudy who will also act as the characters squip in the play. the squip might have a main and then two additional others for the robot effect instead of just three mains, cause of different portrayals and whatnot. i might open additional auditions if there arent enough people interested in a character like jake and chloe, but AFTER the others are casted for the sake of fairness and all. if i dont, then the two other voices from the squip will step in

EDIT: we're not doing any of that lol

most importantly have fun with it! remember this is not a serious project we are just making our silly little remake

auditions will open a couple weeks later depending on the conducting videos cause lemme tell you end of school year is not the best time to do this

(this post will be edited if needed)

[shvoowsh]

me three weeks ago: hey so i have adhd. which you know. and i get hyperfixations, which you also know

my stepdad: yup

me: alright so i can tell that my twisters interest is going to be a longer hyperfixation. this is a natural thing for me and a overall a good sign for my mental health

my stepdad: why are you telling me this. i don’t care

me, yesterday: yeah i want to watch the original twister!

my stepdad: this is getting a little worrying

me:

i took the time to tell him! this is normal for me, and it barely impacts him at all!! sometimes he hears me sing along to the soundtrack but i stop when he’s around anyway. yesterday is the first time inna bit i’ve like, tried to do an Activity around my interests and include him. i don’t talk about it around my family often because i know it irritates them,, but what the fuck! i’m not killing anybody, i’m just. quietly enjoying my interests.

[magicalrocketships]

Tagged by @boxboxlewis!

Musical tag game. Rules: shuffle your ‘on repeat’ playlist and list the first ten songs, then tag some people.

Full disclosure, these are all from my You Are The One Thing In My Way playlist, which has a 100 songs only limit (one in, one out) and I listened to so much when I was working that we are currently On A Break because my Spotify Unwrapped for 2+ years was just this playlist in a different order, and because I couldn't pick a song I was tired of to keep it at 100. So, we're a little old, don't think there's anything newly added on it from the last year, lollllll. They've all got a 'sing along while remote working' vibe. I'll link them at the end.

Nice To Meet You - Niall Horan - not my favourite Niall song but a singalong banger on this particular playlist, good opener for this list

Marchin' On - OneRepublic - this was the soundtrack to a fanvid a million years ago, and as such, imprinted upon my soul attached to very specific fandom clips. Absolutely not the only fanvid soundtrack on this playlist.

Night Changes - One Direction - like, this is a VERY SPECIFIC kind of One Direction singalong song. I'd say you have to be in a particular mood but I listened to bits of this playlist nearly every day for years so that particular mood was very much my life, WHAT DOES THAT SAY, let's not think about it too hard

Vossi Bop - Stormzy - Fuck the government and fuck Boris (YEAH).

Dynamite - Taio Cruz - I DARE you not to sing along, imagine managing a database with this on the go (I can't not imagine it, it's indelibly linked in my brain, this is why me and this playlist are On A Break)

Take Me To Church - Hozier - are you having a bad day? Are you having a GOOD DAY? (I am the first one today) Anyway it DOES NOT MATTER, belt out this chorus, things will be IMMEDIATELY BETTER (i'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife)

Wake Me Up - Avicii - look, I keep a work notebook and every day I write the song I'm listening to as I'm building my work to-do list, and this has been on that list so many times, it's seen me through more than I care to mention

Girl From Mars - Ash - this was my favourite song aged 14, and I kind of think that any song that is your favourite song aged 14 is part of the foundational building blocks of your life and that's how these things go. I still have a friend who texts me every time she hears it because it reminds her of me.

Nobody To Love - Sigma - this reminds me of Nick Grimshaw and the Breakfast Show. It's also on my I Had Rather Hear My Dog Bark At A Crow writing playlist so quite frankly I've listened to it a MILLION times. Also, I had a total mental block on the end of the quote (love you, brain fog, bestest pal) so I just googled it, and it's fucking SHAKESPEARE, and on the front page of google next to this Shakespeare quote is the fanlore page for MY FIC. It used to be the actual fic so this is better, but, like, soz students studying Much Ado About Nothing, here's a second foundational text, how do you feel about watersports as a topic

Closer - Tegan and Sara - SPEAKING OF FIC. Two things, this is the second fanvid soundtrack song on this list, this being a Nick/Harry fanvid from about... 2013 and it is FOUNDATIONAL to my being. Also this (and a line from it) is the title of the fic I'm currently writing so we're transcending fandoms with this one, baby. HERE COME THE DREAMS OF YOU AND ME.

BONUS TRACK: Parce Mihi Domine, which is a classical track I heard on the radio one night when I couldn't sleep and had SUCH a huge fucking visceral reaction to because I KNEW it accompanied a scene on TV that I'd seen once, but had absolutely ZERO idea what it was. I had to find the PLAYLIST for the radio station, and figure out what the song was by listening to everything from the time it went out to figure out what it was, and then I had to google the piece to find out what it was used as a soundtrack for, and it TURNS OUT it's the end of series one of Queer as Folk US, for that whole bit after Justin is hurt and Brian is in the hospital wearing that fucking blood-covered scarf and fucking CRYING so yes, let's close with THAT FUCKER.

All these 10 (11) songs are on this playlist btw. Oh good, now it's skipped to Fireproof, a song I love so much I have it tattooed, this is fine, let's move on

Tagging @junkshop-disco (because their playlists are always the best), @stolemyhheart, and @imaginarygiraffe

[lol-jackles]

Hey, Aamir Khan fan. I was wondering if you enjoyed the movies I recommended. If you liked them and Aamir's acting I have more movies for you to see!

Watched Dhoom3 and holy gamole guilty pleasure galore! Aamir Khan is a movie star of the bygone Hollywood golden era but still well and alive in Bollywood. That Dhoom3 took place in "exotic locale" Chicago was not lost on me.

Aamir Khan is a force of nature as the antagonist, and the movie only pretends to try to resist Aamir's gravitational pull as he's on an obsessive revenge mission to destroy a bank whom he blames for the death of his father. By day he's a brazen bank robber, by night he's the star cirque du solei performer.

I'm unfamiliar with the Dhoom franchise but I get the sense that #3 essentially turned the antagonist into the protagonist and side lined the heroic Mumbai cop Jai Dixit and his goofy sidekick Ali Akbar. It's only in the 3rd act that Jai finally has an arc that involves cat-and-mouse chase of switch-a-roo magicians and why cops and thieves could never be friends not just because they are on opposite side of the law (in the U.S it's not unheard of for felons to marry police wo/men).

There's high-octane actions and crazy stunts with motorcycles that makes me wish there is a crossover with Fast & Furious just to see motorcycles vs cars war. Dhoom 3 fully embraces the insane, the zany, the complete disregard for logic, and slo-mo action scenes that extends the movie's running from 2 1/2 to nearly 3 hours. But what makes this movie stand out among action movies is the highly emotional storyline of Aamir’s character, which requires spoilers ahead.

[spoilers]

While I saw the twist coming during the glitzy cirque du solei scene, the reveal that Aamir's Sahir has a twin name Samar was very satisfying, helped by the soundtrack that is unapologetically bombastic throughout the movie, providing vital emotional hook for scenes that otherwise would have fallen flat.

I feel that Aamir borrowed from Dustin Hoffman's Rainman to portray the autistic math savant Samar who is hidden from the world and only brought out to take over second half of Sahir's role in bank heists and circus performances. Nobody outside their late father knew that there are two men instead of one.

Due to isolation and his mental disorder, Aamir plays Samar as a slouching wide-eyed innocent with complete trust in the perfectly postured Sahir, whose scowl reflects his relentless ambition and revenge mission that has prevented him from romantic pursuits in the lovely Aaliya, the cirque du solei lead female performer. Even though Sahir is the public face of the circus and has many interactions with his cast and the police men on the case to catch him, he is just as isolated and insular as Samar.

Before the twin reveal, Aamir tries to drop hints to the audience when he is playing Samar, mainly by showing his puppy love for Aaliya during the cirque du solei performance from their switch-a-roo act, contrasted with Sahir's indifference towards her when the curtain drops and the show ends. It is this reason why Aaliya was able to avoid the Lois Lane trap and figured out she has been singing and dancing with two different men.

Then the movie throws another twist when Jai meets with Samar to convince him to help turn in Sahir, only to turn out to be Sahir in another satisfying reveal that I didn't see coming. One of my favorite acting scenes is the flashback of Sahir taking Samar's place by switching clothes and when he starts walking, he morphs into Samar's physicality on his way to meet Jai, who is sympathetic toward the brothers but the law is the law. Jai wants to help the brothers by having turn themselves in and plea for mercy. Sahir eventually agrees after failing to kill Jai by rollarcoaster (trust me, just go along with it) and makes a deal by taking the full blame and leaving Samar free and to be with Aaliya.

But in the final twist, the faithful Samar refuses to follow Sahir's plan and instead choose to follow Sahir to his death. I admit I wasn't sure if they would go this route because it would be too heartbreaking, and yet I was still surprised that the dual deaths happened even when it makes narrative sense. The brothers lived as one person all their lives would die together in the end, clutching hands. It's also a genius call back to the movie's first scene of Sahir running down the side of the bank he just robbed.

Score: 8.5 out of 10. Very entertaining high-octane movie with very strong emotional heart. I think if the story didn't take place in Chicago, a city I'm very familiar with, I might have rated the movie higher.

[ollieofthebeholder]

to find promise of peace (and the solace of rest): a TMA fanfic

Read from the beginning on Tumblr || AO3 || My Website There's a soundtrack to this one if you're interested

Chapter 105: March 2001

Gerry gets back into town with exactly two hours to spare. It isn’t exactly optimal, but at least he’s able to grab a shower before rushing off. He has to double back when he almost forgets something important, and his mother tries to waylay him, but he manages to get away from her and catch the train just before it closes its doors.

Still, he’s a bit later than he’d like, and he just hopes Melanie is being optimistic.

The auditorium is crowded with families, from babes in arms to elderly folks, and it takes Gerry a good bit of scanning before he spots who he’s looking for. He distractedly thanks the student usher who hands him the folded bits of paper that constitutes a program and makes his way down the aisle to some seats on the left side of the theater, about three rows back. He’s in luck—there’s a seat next to Melanie that’s empty except for a bouquet of roses. From the fact that they’re mixed red and yellow, he guesses she’s the one that brought them.

“Does this mean you’re saving a seat for me?” he asks.

“Gerry!” Melanie’s face lights up, and she leaps to her feet and hugs him tightly. “Jesus, I thought you were still in Switzerland!”

“Luxembourg. Got back a couple hours ago.” Gerry leans over to shake Uncle Roger’s hand, then picks up the bouquet. “So, can I sit with you?”

“Duh.” Melanie plops back down into her seat and bends over to retrieve her program. Gerry notices she’s wearing the stole Alastair gave her for her ninth birthday, thrown over her jumper and jeans, but doesn’t say anything about it.

Instead, he opens his own program and skims it. There are two choirs that are more or less open—the Junior Choir and the Senior Choir—plus a Young Men’s Chorus and Women’s Ensemble, both by audition only, made up of students eligible for the Senior Choir but with a better grasp of things like pitch, musicality, and not bobbing your head violently along with the beat. This is Martin’s last year in the Junior Choir, and Gerry knows he’s planning to try out for the Young Men’s Chorus when they open up again…or has he already?

“Did Martin ever do that audition?” he asks Melanie, who would be the first to know.

“It’s not until next term, I don’t think,” Melanie answers. “It starts in the fall, after all. Anyway, he hasn’t said anything to me about it.”

Gerry hums as he skims the list of songs the Junior Choir will be singing. Unsurprisingly for the Easter term, there are a couple of songs that look to be religious, or at least trending in that direction—he knows “Because He Lives” is definitely an Easter song, and “One Song (A Song of Peace)” is probably similar—plus a couple generic spring songs, some songs that seem to just be for fun, and a single song in a foreign language, French this term. Gerry mentally braces himself for the typical childish hacking through the language.

“I haven’t heard Martin practicing any of these,” Melanie murmurs, also looking over the list.

“Well, you know, your mother isn’t well,” Uncle Roger says absently. “Martin doesn’t practice in the house so much, so he doesn’t disturb her.”

“There is that,” Melanie admits. She glances at the opposite page. “Ooh, the Young Men’s Chorus is doing ‘Diu Diu Deng’!”

Gerry is about to ask her what that means when the lights in the auditorium dim and everybody—for the most part—quiets down. It’s not like a professional performance where people understand what they’re supposed to do; it’s an amateur production, quality notwithstanding, and some people don’t seem to care how loud the crowd noise is as long as it’s not their child on the stage.

The Junior Choir, all neatly dressed in black slacks or skirts and white tops, file onto the stage in ordered rows, filling the risers as they do so, to enthusiastic applause and a few good-natured cheers. Gerry scans the group coming in; Martin, as both one of the older and one of the taller boys in the choir, is usually one of the first ones out so he can climb up and get to his spot, and he wants to get a good look at him before all he can see is eyes and hair over the row of faces going from plump to angular as they begin to change from child to teen.

But there’s no sign of him.

Gerry blinks, and looks harder—like Martin would be difficult to miss. But no, it’s only girls filing out now and climbing the risers. Martin is nowhere to be found. As the last child takes her position, the director, a man Gerry knows well by now, comes out and bows to the audience, then turns to the choir, waiting for the applause to    die down so they can begin.

For his part, Gerry is having something akin to a mental breakdown. Could Martin have dropped out of chorus without telling them…or worse, been removed against his will? It’s likely he wouldn’t say anything; he wouldn’t want them to worry. But would he let it get this far—let them think he was going to be in the concert, knowing he’ll be found out? That’s not Martin’s style at all. He’s not the kind of person to put people out, and for them to show up expecting to cheer him on would be (at least in Martin’s mind) a huge inconvenience. He surely knows by now that they will come to all his concerts; Gerry might go out of town more often than he likes, but Melanie and Uncle Roger never miss.

So it must be something else. Something must have happened to him…but what? Surely he rode in with Uncle Roger and Melanie rather than walking himself, so something must have happened to him since they arrived, but—

Melanie slaps his arm urgently, not hard, just a frantic patting to silently get his attention. Gerry turns to face her as the choir begins a slightly clumsy but overall decent (to his ear at least, not that he’s paying a whole lot of attention) rendition of their first spring song. The question dies on his lips as she stabs her finger repeatedly at the back of the program. With the lights down, Gerry can’t read it from there, so he picks up his own program and turns it to the back, then holds it closer to his face. The back of the program is where all the members of the various choruses are listed, and his first reaction is to breathe a silent sigh of relief when he sees MARTIN BLACKWOOD right there on the page, immediately above ANDREW CARTWRIGHT.

It’s awfully low down on the page, though. The Junior Choir is usually right at the top…

Gerry’s eyes flick up, just a little, and he sees the word TENOR, which is also unusual, since the Junior Choir is only two parts as far as he knows—he remembers Martin saying once they don’t start really breaking them up until Senior Choir. Then his eyes widen as he realizes that Martin’s name is on the far right of the page…and the column is actually headed TENOR 1.

He looks again, and there it is—Martin’s name listed under the Young Men’s Chorus.

Gerry—there’s no other word for it—goggles. He knows you’re supposed to be thirteen to get into that group; Martin won’t be thirteen until August. Then there’s the fact that, according to Melanie, he’s not supposed to start in it until the fall. But yet…here he is.

During the applause for the latest song, Gerry leans over and whispers to Melanie, “He wasn’t in the Young Men’s Chorus at Christmas, was he?”

“No!” Melanie hisses back. “The most complicated piece they did was ‘Dona Nobis Pacem’, remember?”

Gerry does, but he’s been wondering if he misremembered. Still, Melanie wouldn’t have said Martin was still planning to audition if he had already been in.

He can hardly concentrate through the first half of the concert, barely manages to applaud at the appropriate times, but when the Senior Choir sits down and the director announces the Young Men’s Chorus, he leans forward, anxious and eager.

Bit odd to call them ‘men’ when they’re thirteen to sixteen, isn’t it? whispers a voice in the back of his mind, sounding amused, and Gerry has to admit that it is a bit odd even if they did append young to the front, but he supposes that if they’re referring to the Women’s Ensemble they can’t very well call it a Boys’ Chorus. His eyes flick back and forth along the line of boys, young men, whatever, as they file in. There are only about a dozen of them all together, and—ah, there he is. Third from the end, he’s the taller of the two Tenor Ones on the front row. Even from where he sits, Gerry can see that he’s visibly pale and nervous, only not fidgeting in his tuxedo jacket and bow tie because he’s too much the professional to do so. But as soon as Martin’s eyes lock on the director, a whole new demeanor takes its place. He’s still pale, but he’s calm and focused. Nothing will exist for him from here on out but the music.

And what music it is! Even Gerry, who really knows very little about music overall, is impressed. For such a small group—now that they’re all out, he can count sixteen, four to each part—they fill the space, and they sound wonderful. Maybe he’s a little biased because Martin is part of it, but he never felt this way about the Junior Choir, only that Martin was one of the few good parts of it, so they must actually be good.

They sing a classic song with a lot of “hallelujahs” in it, another song that invokes the stars, and a song that has Melanie sitting bolt upright and smiling from the very beginning. Gerry surmises this is the one she mentioned before the concert. It’s obviously a Chinese song, and just as obviously about a train—Gerry doesn’t speak it, but he gets that much—and from the bright look on all the boys’ faces, not just Martin’s, they’re obviously enjoying it. It gets the loudest round of applause of the evening so far.

Once the auditorium is quiet again, there’s a single note on the piano that dies away quickly. The director waves a few beats, and then the boys begin singing a slow, sonorous song that thrums in Gerry’s chest. “Brightly beams our Father’s mercy…from His lighthouse evermore…”

Gerry lets his eyes drift shut as he listens. The song is poignant and solemn, but somehow feels…important. It’s almost as though the song itself is a beacon calling to them; in fact, it gives him almost the same sensation as that song Melanie sang a couple years back to find Martin in the park, an incident he still shies away from thinking about too hard or often. It’s a song of hope, of steadfast faith, of assuring someone that you’ll be there for them, no matter what.

And then a single clear, pure voice rings out over the room. “Throw out the lifeline, throw out the lifeline, someone is drifting away…”

At that, Gerry’s eyes pop open wide, because he knows that voice. His lips part in shock as he stares at the stage. Martin, his eyes shining green all the way from out here as they fix on the director’s baton, sings the verses to the second half of what’s obviously a medley, alone and unaccompanied and unafraid. Martin, who is always nervous and afraid of putting himself out there, who stammers any time he’s put on the spot, sings with a confidence that’s no different than when it’s just the three of them in a park or on the river bank or on top of a hill, with the unfettered pleasure of someone doing what he’s always meant to do.

And Gerry, who has heard Martin sing a thousand times, who knows his voice is like this, is utterly entranced.

There’s a beat of silence when the whole choir finishes a reprise of the chorus of the first song, and then the audience nearly takes the roof off the auditorium with their applause. Martin’s cheeks turn faintly pink as the director gestures to him, but he doesn’t duck his head or back away, which is…honestly progress.

The boys do a fast, peppy song about putting bones together and taking them apart again, and then they end with an absolutely gorgeous song Gerry’s never heard before, but he recognizes the lyrics as being one of Martin’s favorite Byron poems, “She Walks In Beauty”. Gerry’s pretty sure he’s not the only one that tears up a little.

The Women’s Ensemble goes next, and in Gerry’s totally unbiased opinion, they should have gone before the Young Men’s Chorus, because they can’t hold up. The director calls everyone out for the final song, which they do at virtually every single concert, and then it’s over.

Melanie is beaming ear to ear as she turns to Gerry. “That’s the best one ever.”

Gerry can’t help but laugh at her. “You’re just saying that because Martin got a solo.”

“No, I’m saying it because it was amazing.” Melanie shifts the bouquet to one hand and punches Gerry with the other. “Come on. Let’s go find him so we can yell at him for not telling us.”

The lobby and halls are crowded with people finding and congratulating their respective students. Melanie greets and congratulates a couple of girls she evidently knows at least in passing—as usual, they act polite but not particularly enthusiastic—but it takes Gerry a bit before he spots Martin trying to edge his way around the crowd. He nudges Melanie and points. “Look, there he is!”

Melanie shoves the bouquet at Uncle Roger and immediately starts threading her way through the crowd. She’s always had a talent for this sort of thing, and she slides through the gaps like water sliding through cupped hands. Gerry glances over his shoulder at Uncle Roger, unable to hide his amusement. “Well, she’s going to get there first. Shall we?”

Uncle Roger gestures. “Lead the way.”

Gerry is not particularly large or intimidating, so he can’t exactly shove people out of his way, and he’s not as agile as Melanie. He squeezes through whatever gaps he can, Uncle Roger’s polite “excuse me”s following him, and makes it to Martin’s side well after Melanie has attacked him in a tight hug.

“You’re an absolute ass,” she says, the delight in her voice belying her words. “Why didn’t you tell us you’d got into the Young Men’s Chorus already?”

“It—it was a last-minute thing,” Martin says, his cheeks turning bright pink. The blush gets even deeper when he notices Gerry. “When—wh-when did you get back?”

“Just in time.” Gerry comes over and hugs Martin, too. “What do you mean, last-minute thing? That’s not something you can just learn at the last minute.”

“No, I—I mean, not—” Martin swallows nervously. “It, um, over the break at half-term, Joseph White had to have his tonsils taken out, and something went wrong, so he couldn’t sing anymore. He told Dr. Clayton to run the auditions early and pick someone to replace him, and…well, I-I guess I was the only person to audition who could hit Tenor One parts who did well enough to start now?”

Gerry doubts that, actually, but he’s not going to say as much. Instead, he says, “But then you got the solo?”

“Not originally. It was supposed to be Kent Phillips, but he missed his cue one day and I just, I kind of jumped in out of habit, and Dr. Clayton asked me to take over.” Martin ducks his head, obviously embarrassed. “I know I shouldn’t have, but…”

“Yeah, well, obviously Dr. Clayton doesn’t think so,” Melanie points out.

Uncle Roger finally makes it over to them, smiling broadly. He presents Martin with the bouquet. “Well done, son. It’s a shame your mother couldn’t make it, but if you’d told us you had a solo, I know she would have been here.”

Yeah, right, whispers that voice in Gerry’s head. Gerry grunts his agreement without thinking. Melanie scowls momentarily, but says nothing. Martin, for his part, manages a tentative smile that at least looks convincing as he accepts the bouquet, even though he doesn’t actually agree with his stepfather’s assessment. “Thanks, Dad. I’m glad you could make it, anyway.”

“Wouldn’t have missed this for the world.” Uncle Roger rumples Martin’s hair affectionately. “Come on. After that, I think you deserve ice cream. Gerard, care to join us?”

“I’d love to. Thanks, Uncle Roger.” Gerry smiles up at the man and throws an arm around Martin’s shoulders. “He’s right. Let’s go celebrate, yeah? Even if you think it was an accident, that was a damned good performance and you deserve to celebrate.”

Melanie slides her arm around Martin’s waist from the other side. Obviously unable to protest, he lets them drag him outside, Uncle Roger leading the way.

Okay, the voice in the back of Gerry’s head whispers. Why this? Why tonight?

Why not? Gerry asks the voice.

Sorry, Ger. Not talking to you right now, just trying to work some stuff out. We’ll talk later.

Gerry feels something inside him warm, for reasons he can’t explain. But since his brain has just informed him they’re not going to be on speaking terms for the rest of the night, apparently—he swears he can hear someone laughing at him all of a sudden—he decides that’s a problem for later. For now, he’s going to concentrate on his siblings, and on his Uncle Roger, and on ice cream.

He can worry later.

[spookyserenades]

TIPSY HOURS ASK !! but I gotta keep on the water unfortunately 🥲

BUUUT I had this idea that I would like to share, I was listening to some music while studying and it came up Season of the Witch and I Put A Spell On You ! Immediately my thoughts went to Y/N and my little brain started to create this little scenario,

like, imagine if those songs came up one day at the house, would the boys also think the same as me? Probably IG 🤷

Hobi gonna start whistling along, Jungkook gonna roll his eyes at the cheekiness of it, Jimin would probably know these songs and tap his finger at the rhythm or Jin point at her on the chorus of Season of the Witch

Idk just thinking about the boys being playful at our little witch and sorry for all this brain storming and word vomiting

dfsalfjda HELLOOOO It might not be tipsy ask hours rn but I've been meaning to answer a lot of you guys I miss you all 🥺

OOOF I love those two songs! i listened to them a lot during my baby witch days years ago and they still hit. The soundtrack to Practical Magic is also very vibey and anything by Fleetwood Mac too hehe.

Oh 100000% they'd immediately think of her! I'm sure Hoseok would put those songs on as a joke, definitely whistling along to tease her (resident skeptic lmao) Jimin strikes me as the classic rock enjoyer in the house, that's probably what he listened to in his past on the ranch, so he'd probably make the connection between Y/N and Fleetwood Mac 🥺 Goober Jinnie STOP that's an adorable mental image, I think with a few drinks involved he'd sing with Hoseok to make Y/N giggle.

Other than that I can see Jeongguk recommending a lot of metal songs surrounding witchcraft or the occult. Namjoon's into folk, so he'd also associate certain songs with her. How cute 🥰😭

[swiftpascal]

hii 🫶🏼 4, 8 and 14 for the asks x

hi, babe!!! Thank you for ask!!! Ps: I would never in a million years think you liked Tay.

4. A song you’d put on a playlist for a character you love:

I think that, I would put Behind Blue Eyes by the Who for Joel Miller, the song suits his story, I think.

8. A song from a soundtrack:

I love Summer Nights from Grease, does it also count as a soundtrack?

14. A song you love to sing along to:

I'm horrible at being heard singing, but mentally, I sing old Brazilian songs that, I've known practically, since I was born, from rock to bossa nova, and international songs like Shakira, if I remember the lyrics correctly, I was singing Estoy Aquí, these days ago, as I remember.

[glambots]

This is for our favorites daycare attendants, Freddy and Chica.

'Do you want to build a snow maaaaan!? Or anything else, I was thinking sneaking out for my break if you want to come along. :)

(Said their favorite security night guard)

'Do you want to build a snow maaaaan!? Or anything else, I was thinking of sneaking out for my break if you want to come along. :)

(Said their favorite night security guard)

🎩Glamrock Freddy + "Do You Wanna Build a Snowman?:"🎩

Ah! That song! They played the soundtrack for a while during the winter holidays. And for a while afterwards. But if you are asking him if he would really like to build a snowman with you--he must decline. His body was not made to handle such harsh conditions. Besides! The Pizzaplex has pre-made "Fazbear and Friends"-themed snowmen already on display! Made out of fake snow, of course. They are very festive and much less...cold. And melty.

🍕Glamrock Chica + "Do You Wanna Build a Snowman?:"🍕

Chica was 100% the one out of the group who infected the others with the Classic Frozen Earworms of Yore. The second you start singing, she's singing along with you, and nearly gets through the whole song before she realizes you were asking her a serious question. Oh! Well, she's not really "supposed" to go outside. But, it couldn't really hurt, right? Besides, she's always wanted to make a real snowman! Hey--is it true that snow tastes like ice-cream?

☀️Sunnydrop + "Do You Wanna Build a Snowman?:"☀️

For a moment, you've given him horrific, PTSD-like flashbacks. If he ever finds the devil who allowed "Frozen" to rear it's ugly head, he'll--(he's so focused on throttling this mental phantom that he almost forgets you asked him a question). Oh! He wishes he could, but he's not allowed to leave the building! Besides--it's cold out there! Why not stay inside with him? You can still make snowmen! Paper-plate snowmen! They're much more fun, and--they don't melt!! Which means no nasty messes to clean up!!!

🌙Moondrop + "Do You Wanna Build a Snowman?:"🌙

Silly. Aren't you a bit old for sing-alongs? Or for snowmen? It's not that he doesn't considering indulging the idea, he just. Wouldn't make it very far. Too cold for his system. Too dangerous. It's better to stay inside, for the both of you. Maybe you could find something...less messy to do. You might not be able to make snowmen, but you could always make paper snowflakes. Much prettier, don't you agree?

[bardofspades]

Wrecked

Read on AO3 Jack wakes up in a strange apartment, but some things are a little too familiar. Soundtrack: Wrecked - Imagine Dragons ----

Jack breathes in the crisp air as the morning sun fills the bedroom. That breath gets held, however, when Jack realizes that something is off. This is not his bed. Opening his eyes, he realizes that this is not room. Well, sort of. The bed and furniture is all rearranged, but it is definitely shaped like his room. Maybe he wandered off and fell asleep in someone's apartment in the same complex.

Jack thought he had broken the habit of waking up in strange bedrooms. This will be difficult to explain later, but alibis can wait. Right now, it's time to make it like a hockey player and leaf.

Jack pulls up the sheets and... naked. Great. Jack scan his surroundings to see a clean bedroom and nothing resembling his clothes anywhere on the floor, walls, or ceiling. Either this possible one night stand is very tidy, or he walked into this room with his whole Zimmboni out on display (mental note: blame Shitty).

Jack slips over to the closet, desperate for anything to cover himself before making a quiet exit. Menswear. Really nice brands, too. Whoever this is has money. Some Falconer's merch? Must be a fan or... shit, a teammate? This could be bad. Real bad. Jack snags a Falcs t-shirt and throws it on. Way too tight. Who on the team wears a Medium? One look at the pants and Jack immediately knew that a size 32 is not gonna do the job.

He tries the dresser next. Underwear. Socks. Underwear. More Underwear (why?!). Sweatpants! Good enough! Jack squeezes them on and makes his way to a stealthy escape.

A quick glance out the window says that's not an option. Eighth floor, and the fire escape is on the other... That's the Providence River, and this view looks almost exactly like the view back home..

Jack quietly unlatches the door. Stepping into the hallway, he could hear the sound of bacon and eggs sizzling on a pan. He would have to cross the kitchen to get to the front door, but staying low behind the half-wall might be enough to get out unnoticed. Luckily, Jack already knew the apartment's floor plan, somehow.

Crouched behind the wall, Jack scuddles his way towards the front door. The tenant of this fine establishment is currently preoccupied with preparing breakfast, humming along to some music and bravely frying bacon in just a pair of boxers. One more stride and Jack could be out of here without any witnesses.

Jack just about gets his hand on the doorknob when the sound of singing stops him cold. Slowly, Jack gets up off his knees, turns around, and glances into the kitchen to see if he could match a familiar voice to a familiar face.

"Kenny?"

Kent snaps around and let out a scream. The frying pan slams onto the floor, its contents scattering across the tile. Kent stares at the mess for a full moment before darting over to the counter.

"Shit shit shit." Kent reaches for the roll of paper towels and starts gathering the mess. Jack leans down and helps pile up some of the lost bacon. Jack's hand brushes up against Kent's, and Kent freezes stiff. The two look up from the floor and their eyes make contact.

"HOLY JESUS FUCK!" Kent shoots backwards against the kitchen wall. "JACK?!"

Jack's jaw hangs loose as he tries not to make any sudden movements that might turn the situation worse.

"Oh god oh god oh god." Kent covers his face with his hands as he struggles to take control of his breathing. "Fuck, Jordon's gonna have a field day with this one."

"Jordon?" Jack asks, tilting his head.

"Jordon's my... you know what, nevermind." Kent let out a sigh and looks up. "Jack, why are you here? How are you..." Kent reaches out and touches Jack with edge of his fingers. "How are you real?"

"Real? Kenn... Kent. What happened?"

"Jack," Kent squeezes his eyes shut, taking in a deep, shuttered breath.

"You died."