#*flashbacks to the essays in school*

[itsahotminuteinbetween]

Me, writing the rough draft of a chapter: I dunno how to put shit into words, so I'll just leave a blank for it and figure it out when I edit :D

Me Editing: Why the fuck did I find five synonyms for the exact same thi-WHAT DOES THIS METAPHOR MEAAAN-oh god oh shit how do I explain thoughts-what kind of IDIOT JUST LEAVES THE DIALOGUE BLANK ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME-

[yrrtyrrtwhenihrrthrrt]

I just watched Metal Family S1 and I don't think I'll ever emotionally recover from this but if I can say 1 thing it's that I'm so glad that queer little boy got to grow up to be a hot girlboss's malewife. Truly the happy ending he deserved

[monochromatictoad]

Me: Ok! Brain is braining, so I'm going to try and at least do an outline of that Loss essay! But it's been nearly a decade since I wrote an essay- wait! One of my Mutuals on discord mentioned doing a Dissertation! I never wrote one of those before, but it can't be that much different from an Essay!

looks into how to write a dissertation, immediately gets overwhelmed

Me: oh.... That's a dissertation.... What did I get myself into?

[knightofleo]

Park Hye Jin | I Hope You Are OK

[withwritersblock]

Lover Boy-The One With The First Kiss

~Lover Boy by Phum Viphurit~

Author's Note: it's lukey being amazing. as always italics are flashbacks Summary: Luke and Y/N kiss for the first time Warnings: kissing ? Word Count: 2,277 Luke Hughes x Edwards sister!reader

Ethan was laying on his bed typing up his essay on his computer. Luke was sitting on the bean bag reading through his textbook and highlighting things that he thought were important. They were working on assignments for their shared history class. 

It was a class that practically had free will and attendance points. You could finish all of the assignments whenever you wanted to get it done, but you had to attend the lectures. They were listening to soft country music as they quietly worked. 

Luke lifted his gaze towards the door as it was knocked on four times in an inconsistent cadence. “Come in!” Ethan shouted. 

“You don’t know who it-” Luke let out panickedly, he stopped short when Y/N entered. She was wearing a UMich sweater and had a pair of dark wash jeans. Meeting Luke’s gaze she smiled towards him as she took a hold of the other bean bag on the floor and dragged it towards him. She dropped down beside him, bumping her leg against his on purpose.

She sat alone in the dining hall, taking small bites of the rice and dry chicken that was on her plate. She kept her gaze on her phone screen as she was watching the TikToks on her screen. Lifting her gaze at the sound of glass hitting the table, she saw Luke sitting down in front of her. She nervously met his gaze, taking an Airpod out of her ear.

“You looked lonely,” he muttered, a smirk toying to his lips.

“I was fine,” she said with a smile on her lips as she pushed some rice back and forth on her plate. She glanced towards his plate, noticing the exact same meal on his plate. “Sure, you weren’t the lonely one?” she asked, raising her eyebrows as a small smile formed to her lips.

He chuckled shyly, keeping his gaze on his plate as he brought a fork full of food to his mouth. “Never,” he said with a mouthful. She rolled her eyes dramatically. He swallowed his food before he spoke again, “Ethan saw you, he’s on his way over with a few of the other guys,” he mumbled as he met her gaze. 

His eyes softened as he continued admiring her features. It was hard to ignore how beautiful she was, especially since she was his teammate's sister. Utterly off limits. He knows the rules, but she was the most gorgeous girl he’s ever seen. 

Ethan sat down beside her, nudging her arm slightly, forcing her to move down further. 

She watched Luke subtly. He was kind and pretty. He was the definition of a pretty boy. His smile was always so genuine. But he was off limits, her brother’s teammate. It was a rule he had imposed back in middle school. He had found out she had a crush on his teammate and he had made the rule right then and there.

She never gave one of his teammates a second look, until Luke. 

“What are you doing?” Ethan asked as he watched her sit down beside Luke. She shrugged as she pulled her laptop out of the bag she brought and opened it.

“I kept getting distracted, I need to work with people,” she muttered, meeting Luke’s gaze. She felt her cheeks heat up before she looked back towards the blank Word document. Luke clenched his jaw as he pressed his lips together, keeping his gaze on the textbook in front of him. 

He wasn’t understanding a single word he was looking at, because his mind was preoccupied with Y/N. 

He’s never had a crush so intense before. He barely knows her but he can’t stop thinking about her or the fact that she smiles all the time when he’s around. He can’t tell if it’s him or if that’s who she is.

“Okay, well I have a date to get ready for in like thirty minutes so I have to kick you guys out then,” Ethan said with a long drawn out breath. Y/N eyes widened as she shifted her gaze towards Ethan who was laying on his bed with his computer close to his face.

“Date?” she asked excitedly.

“Not a big deal,” he mumbled. Y/N looked towards Luke, he was already staring towards him. “He doesn’t know anything, so don’t ask,” Ethan let out as he was typing on his computer quickly. 

She reluctantly let it go as she continued working on her assignment for her English class, quietly. Every few seconds she would look towards Luke, meeting his gaze as if they were having a secret conversation. She was unsure of what they were trying to say, but she was content with his presence beside her. 

The thirty minutes went by quickly and she managed to actually get work done. “Alright, I need you guys to head out,” Ethan let out as he dropped his computer beside him as he began climbing off of his bed.

Luke and Y/N quickly packed up their stuff, wishing Ethan luck on his date before they left the room. Ethan shut the door behind them, as they awkwardly stared towards one another. 

“My-uh-my-” she stumbled over her words as she smiled softly as she met his gaze, “My roommate is gone for the afternoon if you want to come over and finish working on stuff,” she offered as she scanned his features. His eyes widened slightly as he nodded. 

“That’d be great,” he mumbled as they walked towards the elevator.

Luke stared towards his phone at her profile. It wouldn’t be entirely weird if he requested to follow her account. They met twice in person, she knows him. They were going to be seeing each other a lot, especially with how close her and Ethan were. 

It would probably look like she was found in his mutals page, instead of him searching her up through Ethan’s page. 

He was ignoring the movie that was loudly barely beside him on his laptop, as he kept staring at the Instagram profile. Her picture was a photo of her tilting her head back as she was laughing, it was gorgeous. He pressed the follow button quickly as he dropped his phone beside him. She had to approve the following request. That was scary. 

He shifted his gaze to the laptop screen, only hearing the sound of his heart beating loudly in his ears as he clenched his jaw tightly. 

He checked his phone after a full minute to see if she accepted his follow request and she did. She accepted it so fast and she followed him back. He smiled widely as he began to scroll through her photos. There were only four and three of them were from two years ago.

The most recent picture was a photo collection of her first few weeks at college. Many of them were photos with her and Ethan as well as Nessa. The last photo she included was a selfie Ethan took of them at dinner three nights previous. Luke was in the background, smiling widely. 

She felt that the photo was so important she added it to the small six photo collection. He was overthinking it, but he was completely okay with it.

They stepped inside the elevator and stood in awkward silence. “I’ve got a question,” he let out as he clenched his jaw, he tilted his head to the side to look over her features. She nodded slightly as her gaze lowered towards his lips but they quickly shot back up towards his eyes. 

He continued to look over her features, admiring each and every inch of her face. His question completely slipped his mind as the elevator doors opened to their floor. They stepped off and began walking towards her room. 

“You had a question?” she offered as they continued down the hall towards her room, side by side. Their arms brushing against each other. He nodded as he rubbed his nose nervously with his hand.

“Right, uh-have you been close with Ethan’s teammates before? Like were you friends with any of them,” it wasn’t the question he originally had in mind but he was content with asking it.

Stopping in front of her door, she dug her keys out of her pocket, “Not really,” she said as she avoided his gaze, pushing her dorm room door open, “He tends to shut down any chance of me being friends with them fast. He doesn’t want any of his teammates to try and date me or whatever,” she mumbled, meeting his gaze as she walked backwards towards her bed. He nodded as he kept eye contact with her.

“Which ruins any chance of being friends with them because I usually am never interested in any of his teammates like that,” she said as she shyly looked away from Luke. She placed her backpack beside her side table as she climbed onto her bed. Luke smiles softly as he dropped his bag beside her before he sat down beside her. Purposely making their legs touch.

“You said, usually never interested,” he repeated as he swallowed hard. She turned her head to meet his gaze, his eyes were urgently scanning her features. Trying to find any sign of what he was thinking. “So are you interested now?” he questioned, his chest aching as his skin felt hot and tingly. 

She looked deeply into his eyes as her lips curled upward slightly, “I don’t know,” she let out before giving it another thought. He hummed as he nodded. “I could be,” she mumbled.

He thought about leaning towards her, kissing her, but Ethan’s voice rang in his head. Don’t even fucking think about it. Well, here he was thinking about it and mere inches away from making a move. Luke clenched his jaw as he very reluctantly pulled his head back. He cleared his throat as he leaned back on his hands slightly as he scanned her dejected frame. 

She tilted her head back, meeting his gaze. Her skin felt hot as her stomach was filled with butterflies. He looked at her in a way no man ever has. Like she was the only girl that mattered. 

“You know, my brother doesn’t have a say in who I can be interested in,” she mumbled as she took a hold of both their backpacks. She dropped his bag into his lap as she began unzipping her own, “If I want someone, he doesn’t get to put a stop to it before I even have a chance to explore it,” she explained, resting her laptop on her thighs. Luke hummed as he dropped his bag to the floor once more.

She lifted her gaze from her computer. He smiled a tight lip smile towards her as he took a hold of her computer. He shut it and delicately placed it onto the table beside her bed. “What are you-” she questioned but he interrupted by delicately kissing her. He took a careful hold of her chin, letting her create the pace that she wanted. 

She leaned into the kiss more, as the hesitation faded away. He slowly slid back on the bed, leaning his body against the wall as she climbed onto his lap. Straddling his body, she rested her hands on the base of his neck. Her eyes scanned his features, his eyes were intoxicating as he tilted his head back against the wall, looking towards her at an angle slightly.

His hands were slowly gliding up and down the backs of her thighs, careful on the placement to not scare her. She leaned towards him, kissing him with a little more urgency as their tongues moved together insync. 

His hands would tightend on her legs as she would run her fingers through the ends of his curly hair.

She pulled away as she ran a manicured thumb across his bottom lip, “You’re a good kisser,” she whispered as she met his gaze. He smiled shyly before he leaned his head back against the wall, clenching his jaw. “What’s wrong?” she asked as she ran her thumb across his jawline. 

“You’re brother’s gonna kill me,” he whispered before he leaned towards her, kissing her with the same sense of urgency. He began moving beneath her, delicately guiding her to lay on her back, on the bed. Their lips remained connected as he climbed on top of her, taking a hold of one of her thighs.

“Luke,” she let out as she ran her fingers through his hair, he hummed against her lips. “The door’s not locked,” she whispered against his lips. He pecked her lips a few times before he climbed off the bed walking towards the door of her dorm. He stared at the lock for a moment.

He turned the lock before he spun around, a smirk toying to his lips as he walked towards the bed, climbing on top of her. He scanned her features before he leaned down and kissed her once more. “Are you free tomorrow night?” he asked between kisses. She nodded as he pulled his head back slightly. “Good, we’re going on a date,” he mumbled before he pecked her lips.

“Oh, are we?” she asked as he nodded dramatically while scrunching his features together slightly. “What are we going to do?” she questioned as she rested her hand on the base of his neck.

“I am more focused on kissing you right now,” he mumbled, kissing her deeply before he pulled away again, “It’ll be fun, I can promise you that,” he expressed again before planting his lips on hers again.

[purpleheartskies]

I don't know what to think about all this and if the SA or anything else in Robby's story will be addressed.

Take Billy's interview. They act like Robby's side of the story doesn't matter. He is inconsequential. It's about Johnny and Miguel. In canon, Robby is framed as wrong and at fault for how Johnny treats him and for having trauma, even though Johnny is the parent and his behavior is immensely traumatic for Robby. Johnny has done nothing to make things right with/for Robby, while Robby is the one who was abused by Johnny while he prioritized his new family and Robby had to put all of his trauma aside to be a part of Johnny's new family, that narratively Robby's still not treated as completely part of.

Take the SA ig reel. They act like Robby's side of the story doesn't matter. He is inconsequential. It's about Tory and Zara. In canon, Robby is framed as the cheating boyfriend who got drunk and "made a mistake" because he "got played", although he was drunk and can't remember what happened while Zara intentionally targeted him, can remember, and doesn't care that he can't. Robby should be focused on as the one who can't catch a break, but he's not.

Take the apartment fight marketing posts calling it a "therapy session". They act like Robby's side of the story doesn't matter. In canon, they only show Miguel's flashbacks and have Robby take all fault too. The marketing was for Miguel's side of the story. (Tanner wasn't there for interviews for s5, but still no one brought up Robby's side.) They act like Robby's side of the story doesn't matter. He is inconsequential. It's about Miguel only, although the school fight was traumatic for Robby too. Robby does admit this in canon, but it was still in service of the apology to Miguel. Not to mention, the apartment fight itself was plain abuse on Robby by Johnny to force him to be friends with Miguel. This was abuse, not therapy.

Even the school fight was framed as if Miguel didn't do anything wrong, his "I'm sorry" instantly made him innocent, and Robby's the one at fault for it all because of the kick and accidental injury. Miguel had done so much to Robby in that fight, but Robby's side is inconsequential. It's all about Miguel. Robby was and is still scapegoated, that is still shown and hinted at (like in the college essay) but it remains unaddressed. I don't have any of the post s2 or post s3 marketing on hand, but no doubt the marketing would not have shown Robby's side of the story.

There's more to address in Robby's story, but you see...

In a way, how they handled the SA isn't isolated because they literally handle Robby's whole story this way. I mean, child abandonment and replacement are even more recognizable as traumas for the child, but people still are taking the parent's side and are happy he replaced his son, and the show has marketing material promoting it.

[kohakhearts]

goh parentified child syndrome. go(h)

my time is here at last. thank you for enabling me <3 apologies for taking months to finish writing this giant post!

welcome to my dissertation on this fucking Dynamic <3

ok! first thing, let's establish our criteria for Parentified Child Syndrome. this is obviously not like, an actual diagnostic Thing, but there are a million and one articles out there for us to look through. so i did the tough work of scouring those to find some Symptoms we can use as anchor points here. a lot of this is split into "emotional" (parents seeking comfort from their children, rather than comforting them) vs. "material" (parents assigning their children responsibilities that are not age-appropriate (e.g. grocery shopping, paying bills, etc.)) needs, but for simplicity i'll just merge them together - because realistically, they often go hand-in-hand. so the primary symptoms we'll work with here will be:

disruptive childhood behaviours (particularly at school)

stress and anxiety

reluctance to participate in play/age-appropriate activities with their peers

difficulty acknowledging and accepting one's feelings

insecure attachment styles

need to feel "in control"

distrustful of others/self-reliant to a fault

absenteeism and poor performance in school

passive communication style

the other obvious prerequesite here is the family dynamic. so let's dissect that one a bit!

goh's family situation isn't actually like...100% clear. but i have analyzed every episode where his family is even mentioned like it's my full-time job and i have no reason to believe his grandmother actually lives with him. so in the scope of this essay, i am assuming that she lives nearby, and most likely has a key to the apartment, but does not live with them.

otherwise, we are given enough context to assume that camille and walker have been busy with work goh's entire life (though i'd choose to believe for my own sanity that in his infancy his mother at least wasn't working...though given the type of job she has, that's actually...kinda hard to say for sure). we can also assume that they've at least been self-employed for the majority of his life. it's clear that they are fairly well-established in the city/in their field by jn, and since goh is supposed to be 10 at this point, it makes sense to me that they've been building that company up pretty much his whole life.

in terms of the work they do, goh tells ash, my dad is a system engineer and my mom is a programmer. they run a company together. granted, we don't see very much of their actual workplace, but what we do see is completely void of other people. as in, camille and walker do all this work BY THEMSELVES.

nothing in the anime otherwise disputes this! if anything, goh's explanations of his parents' lifestyle just reinforces it. he also suggests that during periods of harsh weather and heavy system use, his parents are busier than usual. this implies that they are most busy during holidays. this is actually further implied by the flashback in jn015 where they explicitly say to him that they're sorry for having to work through the holiday. his reaction, being completely unengaged, not even really even acknowledging it, tells us that this is the norm.

however!! he also shows off a special device to horace in jn032 that he says his parents made specifically for him, to help him learn more about mew. this suggests that they must have some amount of free time to dedicate to him...but they show their love for him through material gifts related to their line of work (his computer set-up, too; he tells scorbunny that his parents set it all up for him).

otherwise, we see camille and walker privately share their concerns about goh (a clear awareness that he doesn't have many friends, concern about him being lonely because of them, etc.) but never actually confront goh with their concerns or appear to go out of their ways to do anything about it. i wrote a bit about this and the symbolism of having him catch a cubone of all pokemon in the episode we're introduced to his family here but the tl;dr is that camille and walker demonstrate care for goh to each other but not to him - presumably to compensate for their physical absence, we get the impression he's given a lot of freedom and little to no discipline.

which brings me to the first criterion:

disruptive childhood behaviours (with a side of absenteeism, which presumably contributes to poor performance in school)

goh's school life is obviously inconvienent to the plot progression, so for narrative purposes the writers have him just not go to school. in jn049 we get the explanation that goh had made a promise to their teacher to show up to school for tests...but the weird thing about this scene is that chloe's surprised by it:

since in jn001 and jn002 we see that chloe is goh's only point of contact amongst his schoolmates and that she hand delivers schoolwork to him at her dad's lab, the only way this exchange really makes sense to me is if it's a new arrangement. even the fact that goh makes a point of saying "hey, i followed through, go me" to their teacher here gives that vibe.

so, we can extrapolate from that that...prior to whenever this agreement was made, goh just didn't go to school because he didn't want to. but given how schools operate, we can pretty safely assume his parents are aware of this. and i have strong reason to believe that they have at least been on the receiving end of phone calls from teachers or administrators, because of these lines from jn015:

all things considered, this is a weird assumption to make, especially about your hyper-independent introverted child...unless there's a history of disruptive or unfriendly behaviour to inform that assumption. and based on goh's behaviour in jn001 at professor oak's pokemon camp, i don't think it's so out there to say the pattern probably was there.

goh is actually a super sweet kid towards his parents and has a clear admiration for them both. even in flashbacks, his whole thing is kind of like...he doesn't want to bother them. they fall asleep on family vacation and don't spend time with him? well, that's fine! he'll just find something else to do! in that same episode in the flashback sequence, they pick him up on the side of the road alone in the pouring rain and he doesn't say a word to them. even though he was angry and upset before.

so, yeah. i think it would make a lot of sense if he were well-behaved at home and not so much so at school. but camille and walker, even when they learn about things that happen, don't seem to probe or discipline him. whether because of any combination of giving him leeway out of guilt or of not wanting to encourage him to act out at home, we don't know. but the disconnect obviously exists.

which then contributes to

stress and anxiety, difficulty acknowleding and accepting one's feelings, and passive communication style

goh is socially awkward, yes, and clearly very anxious socially especially early on in jn, but a lot of that seems to come from an inability to express his wants and needs. i think jn003 has some of the most succinct examples of this - ash having to realize he's struggling and to reach down to him when they're climbing the tower in order for him to even accept that he can get (and needs) help getting up, and then later one when he stumbles over his words trying to ask ash to be his friend.

i think another good example is in jn007, after he gets knocked out at the flute cup. passive communication relies a lot on shifts in body language and in, well, passive statements. when ash approaches him to tell him to cheer up, goh doesn't actually really...respond to that. he does this

and then runs off. which he does fairly often, actually, even as late as jn135. it's emotional avoidance 101. literally just run away from the thing that's bothering you. something else we see in jn135 is him backing out of admitting he wants to go on a journey - because he is concerned about ash's reaction (though i think it's a little more complex than that, but i'll circle back to that).

and of course there's jn062, which i wrote a lot about in this post. but the whole thesis of the episode is that goh has learned through his relationships up to this point that it's okay to not understand your feelings but you still have to feel them. and it's actually a really beautiful character development moment for him, but also reinforces the fact that he still doesn't know how to grapple with his own emotions. after finally finding drizzile and explaining how he knew he would find it there, he starts to cry and doesn't know why. but even aside from feeling vulnerable, it's kind of a culmination of this stress he's been carrying with him throughout the whole episode...and the sense of responsibility he feels for driving drizzile away. which is a great segue into

insecure attachment styles and need to feel "in control"

if there's one thing i feel like people sleep on regarding goh's character, it's how much of a mother hen he is. he's obviously very thorough and thoughtful when it comes to looking after his pokemon - as in jn062 where he spends all that time chasing down drizzile after it runs away, even to the point of telling ash and chloe that they should stay behind because it's getting late but that he's going to keep looking - but he's the same way with ash.

off the top of my head, things like buying extra scones because he knew ash would want them, making ash wash his hands after eating ice cream, chastising him about punctuality, you know...very parental kind of things. he actually does it with horace too, when they first meet, by bringing a lunch for them both when he goes back to the forest to meet him again.

anyway, being a Mom Friend is cute and all, but it also REEKS of parentified child. taking on responsibilities that aren't yours to fulfill? yeah. that's a need to feel in control. it's what he's used to! it offers him security!

the other side of this is...chloe. goh's first friend, who he refuses to consider a friend, or let consider him a friend. but, like, she obviously IS his friend. and yet our introduction to them gives us this exchange

goh and chloe have a pretty tense relationship at the beginning of jn, wherein she is clearly trying to help him (by you know. getting his homework for him and shit) and he blows her off in a text message, which she complains is a repeating behaviour. chloe is obviously very loyal to him, even though he doesn't seem to repay the favour. again, there's a big disconnect here.

insecure attachments generally stem from anxiety over potential rejection and/or poor self-esteem cultivated in childhood based on parents’ emotional availability (or lack thereof) to their children. by keeping chloe an arm's distance away, goh keeps himself safe from the dangers of vulnerability, taught to him through childhood encounters with emotionally unavailable parents.

i'm not here to armchair diagnose (ok, who am i kidding, yeah i am), but i think goh's attachment style is anxious-avoidant. his clear avoidance of making friends, the multiple times we see him break off his friendship with ash only to minutes later be like "me and the bestie"...yeah, that's avoidance. but he does crave intimacy, arguably even more than he fears it.

hence why even though he knows ash would want him to journey on his own...he still convinces himself that actually telling ash that would be, as he calls it, a "betrayal of [their] friendship." my theory is that he's not concerned that ash will be upset - he's concerned that ash won't be upset enough. which is why when then ash turns it around on him and says he's going on a journey, goh gets upset and pushes him away. he does the exact same thing with horace when they're younger. just a complete 180 - he wronged me once, so he's the worst and i can't forgive him, ever.

the difference with chloe is that she actually takes care of him more than he takes care of her - which changes the dynamic from "i have to do everything to keep this person in my life, including suppressing my emotions for their sake" to "i cannot express to this person that i have needs and desires because they'll think i'm too much and they won't stick around if i do." which is primarily avoidant, but insecure attachment nonetheless.

this is extrapolation, but i think his relationship with chloe is so different because we are supposed to get the sense that they have a more familial dynamic. so, she's the one person he can't push away from him - but as he learned in his actual family dynamic, he also can't be too close to her. he doesn't want to be smothered; he doesn't want her to feel smothered by him. so they maintain a degree of separation that only begins to go away after her father begins literally housing and feeding him, thus integrating him and ash into their family in some honorary way.

which brings me to the last point, i guess, which is

reluctance to participate in age-appropriate activities with peers and self-reliant to a fault

these are, i think, the traits that jn is most blatantly attempting to better in goh throughout his arc. so i won't spend too long hashing it out, because i think these are things we all know he struggled with!

in flashbacks, we see him alone at school; during the first episode, at professor oak's camp, he is always physically distanced from the other kids and chloe even points out that he's basically doing professor oak's job at one point! he's not on the same level as the other kids and it's clear he doesn't want to be. when he meets horace, we see that it takes him some time to get comfortable enough with him to go explore the forest together and become friends.

he doesn't go to school, but that doesn't mean he isn't learning things - he becomes a very self-directed learner early on, from what he see. he's not just like...rotting in his room playing video games. he's studying and researching. the only times aside from with horace that we see him in a flashback doing something that isn't solitary is with pokemon - and even then, he's like...reciting their pokedex entries. his abra story at the end of jn is precipitated by him saying he was going through his dad's old pokedex (which is a whole other thing - this implies walker used to be a trainer, but neither of goh's parents seem to have pokemon...perhaps they're too busy with work to look after them? a theory for another time, i suppose, but it has undeniably being gnawing at my brain since that episode aired lol).

and of course, there's the fact that in jn062 he tells drizzile he was never comfortable with confiding in his parents or his grandmother...suggesting that he never confided in anyone, because we don't really get the sense from the whole "i don't NEED friends" exchange in jn001 that he considers chloe a reliable confidant, either.

the other place we see his flawed sense of self-reliance, aside from like...everywhere in the first 10 or so episodes, lol (something that is reflected pretty beautifully and symbolically in scorbunny's story, too!), is in project mew. he has to learn how to work in a team - and he clearly hates it. at this point he's found one person to rely on, but that already feels like too much. the raid battle with articuno is the most obvious example of this. he isn't good at being a leader, but he also isn't good at being a follower. because he's only ever been responsible for himself, and he doesn't trust anyone else to know how to direct him, but he also has no clue how to work within the parameters of a team.

i also want to say, as a final note, that i actually think this is all extremely intentional writing. obviously in the west we have a strong capitalism culture too, but the work culture in japan is very toxic (just google "japan work culture" and you can see right away how intense it is lol) and i'm not actually surprised at all that pokemon would make such a direct commentary on that - a lot of japanese kids could probably relate to goh and his emotionally absent, work-obsessed parents! they are clearly pretty well-off, but their dedication to work supercedes matters of home and family, because that's how it's supposed to be. as a result, goh admires them a lot for this dedication - but his arc is primarily about letting go of the "work" part of interacting with pokemon and learning how to have fun and make the most of his experiences. and i think that's a really lovely message for modern pokemon to be sending to kids :')

[redxx95]

Is Kurosawa really not Adachi's "type"?

Surprise, this essay is Adachi-focused for once 😂

In my last essay (which you can find here) I mentioned how Kurosawa thinks Adachi has a type (as in, certain traits he finds attractive) which he believes he does not fall under. In this essay I'm not only going to prove him wrong but also really examine what Adachi's "type" even really is, because I think Kurosawa is somewhat of an unreliable narrator in this.

Kurosawa's assumption

First let's take a closer look at the traits Kurosawa names when he talks about Adachi's type. In Japanese, those are 青春系 (youthful-like, which got translated as "pure and innocent vibe") 清掃 (clean, translated as "delicate") and 優しい (kind) (panels are from ch 5.5 and 18.5)

Does Kurosawa fit those traits? Well. Kinda. There's this one panel where Adachi sees him as "pure" and there's many instances where Kurosawa acts kind of childlike which one could describe as youthful/innocent, but it's not the most solid proof.

"Clean" is an easier descriptor to prove though, since Adachi calls him that multiple times, albeit not exactly the same word in Japanese. (He uses 清潔 which translates to "clean" and, funnily enough, "pure" but in the sense of perfection rather than innocence.)

And so is "kind", which is a core trait Adachi values about Kurosawa and even mentions it first when asked. (This is not super relevant but I also want to point out that the first character in Kurosawa's first name (優) is literally the kanji for "kind".)

But if you actually check whether or not Adachi ever uses these words to describe Fujisaki himself, you'll find that the only one he uses at least once is "kind", and I could only find that in the japanese version. More on that later though.

What he never calls her though is pure, youthful, innocent or delicate.

Exploring Adachi's type

So now that we established that Kurosawa's assumption is kind of shaky, let's try to figure out what traits Adachi is actually attracted to, and whether or not those can be applied to Kurosawa. Our candidates who he has shown to be interested in are as follows:

The middle school girl and the black haired woman from his nightmare/flashback, and Fujisaki.

That is… not a whole lot. Since we can basically immediately exclude the middle school girl, because we have only one panel to go off of, we're left with only two people to examine, but examine we shall nonetheless!

Let's start with the flashback woman. She does visually resemble Fujisaki quite a bit, but I believe the actual reason Adachi even considers her is because of this.

She seems (at least initially) open-minded and is the only one putting a somewhat positive spin on men with no relationship experience. She's probably displayed this trait before and that might have been why Adachi got interested in the first place. And guess who else does that, who we know Adachi is definitely interested in.

The way this is the whole reason he even realizes his feelings for Kurosawa is also very telling. I think that for him looks take a backseat in favor of personality. He's pointed out the conventional attractiveness of the women in Toyokawa before but he never shows any actual interest in them.

Here he also points out their prettiness but is immediately scared off when he learns of their thoughts about him. The only one we see him actually interested in is Fujisaki, whose looks are more on the average side but whose thoughts never get nasty and insulting like the ones he hears from the pretty women. … which is also a thing he values about Kurosawa, and he even tells him that directly in ch 34 when they have their heart-to-heart pre-first time. And it's funny because in the beginning he does expect him to have a "nasty personality", probably because he's so used to good looking people being like that.

In conclusion: The reason he likes the flashback woman is not because she has pretty long black hair but because she is not mean about other people's shortcomings, which can be applied to Kurosawa as well.

Now let's look at Fujisaki and all of her interactions with Adachi and see if we can find some more of those Parallels that we love so much on this blog.

Adachi mentions that Fujisaki is cute quite often.

… which he also thinks of Kurosawa very often. There were honestly so many instances where Adachi finds him cute that I would reach the image limit on this post very quickly so have this one panel instead:

Bonus: he also very much enjoys Kurosawa's smell.

And since we're on the topic of "cute", I think a big reason why he finds her so cute is also that Fujisaki often asks Adachi for help, and as I mentioned in this essay, Adachi likes to feel needed.

Which, again, very much applies to Kurosawa, too.

Adachi also seems to appreciate that Fujisaki is a hard worker. (He doesn't know she's reading yaoi on company time though.)

And once again, he states this to be something he likes about Kurosawa as well.

Another descriptor he likes to use for her is "good". This often means "kind" in the japanese version, which I already elaborated on above. (For example in the panel below "nice" is "kind" in the original.) But there's also plenty of times he calls Kurosawa a "good guy" (i.e. "kind")

I know I said before that visuals don't matter as much to him but these parallels are just too funny not to include. Flower backgrounds for the pretty people 💐

Bonus Mari in here because I think it's cute how he blushes at her. Both Kurosawas are simply too much for this bisexual disaster man.

And apparently he's also just really into very shiny people.

So now that I've really hammered my point home that Kurosawa is just as much Adachi's type as any of his other interests, let's think about why there's even such a discrepancy between what Kurosawa assumes and what actually is. I think it's because his only point of reference for Adachi's interest in romantic partners is Fujisaki. What he doesn't consider, however, is that Fujisaki never tried to put up a perfect front around Adachi the way he did. Adachi has had the chance to see Fujisaki fail and find that immediately endearing, whereas with Kurosawa he had to first get magic mind reading powers to get to that same point. At least they got there eventually 🫶

Ok I'm finally done rambling, this thing got way too long again 😩

Are YOU Adachi's type? 🫵 Tell me about it in the comments!

[cookietastic]

do you think in the Cobra Kai universe there's some hobby drama video essay youtuber doing like 3 hour long analysis videos on "The Karate Cults Of The Valley" ? and like millions of people watch that shit and turn it into memes on twitter?? some poor girl has to put karate on her blacklist because she has genuine war flashbacks to the karate gang wars........

This is reminding of season 3 when they had to ban karate in the Valley and it made the news cause of the Karate high-school war

Like I refuse to believe no one made a YouTube essay after that- where’s the subreddits talking about this like

“AMITA for telling a bunch of kids doing karate in the water park to leave?”

“NTA op didn’t you say before they like destroyed a school???yeah man you’re like saving lives.”

“YTA they had beef they needed to hash it out and you didn’t let them. Also would have been funny.”

[tarareindeer]

Uneven Paths

{reader x claggor enemies to lovers?}

chap 1

So, it all started back in the day, elementary school—where the rivalry between you and Claggor kicked off. Dude was like a walking calculator with a charm setting permanently stuck on "golden boy." Meanwhile, you were out here grinding, juggling homework and life, trying not to drown in the chaos. Honestly, you were killing it, but it still felt like Claggor’s life was one big cheat code.

Fast forward a bit, and Claggor’s life stayed blessed. Stable family, decent house, and a fridge always stocked with snacks (jealous much?). You, though? You had to hustle—working part-time gigs, cramming for exams at midnight, and dreaming of the day you’d finally level up. Every time he nailed something effortlessly, it felt like the universe was trolling you.

Then came high school, and the scholarship showdown. This was the scholarship, the kind that could teleport you out of Small Town, USA, and into the big leagues. You busted your butt—late nights, essays polished to perfection—only for Claggor to waltz in and snag it. The audacity. He celebrated while you stewed, convinced life had dealt you the "hard mode" card.

Years passed, and you went full grind mode. College was a slog, with you piecing together scholarships, part-time jobs, and sheer willpower. Meanwhile, Claggor was out here living his LinkedIn dream—graduating on top and landing a corporate gig like it was nothing. The bitterness? Yeah, it lingered.

Cut to the present: you’re hyped about your new job. Big office vibes, real career moves. Then, BAM—you walk in and see him. Claggor. Your boss. Life really said, “Plot twist!”

You lock eyes, and it’s like a high school flashback, complete with all the unresolved drama.

“Welcome to the team,” he says, all polished and professional. But there’s a glint in his eyes, like even he’s thinking, “Well, this is awkward.”

“Thanks,” you manage, keeping it cool even though your brain’s screaming, what is my life right now?!

Working under Claggor is...a ride. He’s as extra as you remember—demanding, sharp, and annoyingly good at his job. But then he starts backing you up, hyping your ideas, and being, like, low-key supportive? It’s weird, and it’s messing with your whole “I can’t stand him” vibe.

Meanwhile, he’s noticing you too. The hustle, the ideas, the way you’ve got solutions for days. Turns out, he’s not just some golden boy coasting through life—he actually respects your grind. Wild, right?

One late night at the office, it’s just you two. Silence hangs until Claggor finally speaks up.

(to be continued...)

[redgoldsparks]

December Reading and Reviews

I post my reviews throughout the month on Storygraph and Goodreads, and do roundups here and on patreon. Reviews below the cut.

I’m Laughing Because I’m Crying written and read by Youngmi Mayer

I was only vaguely aware of Youngmi Mayer from tiktok before picking up the audiobook of this blunt and honest memoir, read by the author. I think experiencing it as an audiobook greatly enhanced my experience- the sections in which the author's voice shook with emotion when describing, in particular, the hardships her family experienced during the Japanese occupation of Korea, meant the memories hit much harder than they might have if I was reading in print. Overall I was very impressed by Mayer's insights on her multi-cultural mixed-race childhood, how her parents' traumas impacted their ability to be present for their kids, and how that damage played out in her teens and early twenties. This book tackles a lot of heavy subjects including colonial violence, bullying, fat-shaming, eating disorders, drug use, suicide, and depression. The tone, which is almost aggressively matter-of-fact, with flashes of piercing insight and occasional jokes, kept me riveted. I do wish a late chapter on a brief queer relationship had been more thoughtful; that was one section that felt kind of half-baked and unnecessarily gender-binary. But overall I'd still recommend this memoir, especially for those looking for critical takes on the fault lines of both Korean and American culture.

Blue Period vol 1 by Tsubasa Yamaguchi 

This manga follows a high school boy who's good at school, has a pack of friends, but no specific ambitions in life. A few comments by a charismatic art teacher challenge him to try and honestly express himself through art. A competitive streak pushes him to join the art club and begin actually applying himself. Along the way, the teacher and his fellow art club members explain many concrete basics of drawing from life, and how to apply to art colleges in Japan. These aspects of the story reminded me of the real-life manga creation information included in Bakuman. I like the idea of a manga series focused on fine art and the challenges and rewards of pursuing it. I did struggle with the fact that the drawing in this book is only okay. Some of the figure drawing of characters is downright bad, with bizarre pose choices. There are also some kind of confusing interactions between the characters early on- one member of the art club is either a cross-dresser or trans femme, and the way this character and the main character talked it felt like they were supposed to be childhood friends? I kept expecting a flashback to their earlier relationship that never came. So, we'll see if I end up reading more. Great concept, mid-level execution.

She Loves to Cook and She Loves to Eat vol 1 by Sakaomi Yuzaki translated by Caleb Cook 

This slow-burn lesbian comic is as cute as everyone has been saying. A woman who loves cooking elaborate meals, but lives alone, notices a female neighbor in the apartment complex carrying a huge amount of takeout food home. Impulsively, she invites her neighbor in for dinner. This begins a gentle routine of joint shopping, cooking, and meal planning together. Will this food-based friendship develop into something more? I will have to keep reading to find out!

Trick Mirror: Reflections on Self-Delusion written and read by Jia Tolentino 

This book was written in 2017-2018, and I still often hear essays from it quoted, especially the opening piece "The I in the Internet". Some of the essays in here already feel a bit passed their sell-by date, but several of the ones I read after the most recent election still have teeth, especially "The Story of a Generation in Seven Scams", which made me furious, and "We Come from Old Virginia", examining rape culture on college campuses. I also enjoyed two two of the more personal/autobiographical pieces, "Reality TV Me" and "Ecstasy" quite a lot. Your mileage will vary with this book depending on what type of topics you care about, but I'm glad I finally picked up this collection.

Autoboyography by Christina Lauren read by Deacon Lee and Kyle Mason 

Set in Provo, Utah, this queer teen romance centers a bisexual, Jewish high school senior, Tanner, who is closeted at school despite being out to his supporting family. Tanner and his best friend Autumn decide to sign up for a notoriously difficult class in their last semester- a seminar in which the students try to write the complete first draft of a novel. Their TA for the class is a college freshman from BYU, Sebastian, who took the seminar the year before and produced a novel that actually had legs. He signed a book deal and has his first fantasy novel due out in the following summer. Also, he's tall, handsome, kind, generous, and very very Mormon. Tanner falls for him immediately. I found the first 1/3 of this book very rushed; the insta-love didn't really work for me. But when I got deeper into the novel I realized the authors had speed-run a meet cute because what they actually wanted to write was an established relationship. Tanner and Sebastian go through multiple ups and downs, breakups and makeups, book releases, college acceptances, family and friendship conflicts. Despite the pacing issues, it's an affirming story of queer acceptance in the end which I did enjoy on audio.

Off Stage Love Side by Kamome Oshima

A Japanese idol has been crushing on a man he met in a gay bar five years ago for his entire career. Then that man is assigned as his new bodyguard. Shocking twist! Fairly cute, but I honestly wished it had been a 5 book slow-burn instead of a single volume that ended with them getting together.

She Loves to Cook and She Loves to Eat vol 2 by Sakaomi Yuzaki translated by Caleb Cook 

This series is already getting more cute and more gay in book 2! Neighbors Nomoto and Kasuga continue to plan meals, shopping trips, and holidays together but now they are also beginning to share deeper feelings and memories from their lives. And also... Nomoto has her first lesbian crisis googling session. I'm rooting for these foodies! I hope they Uhaul in book 3.

Moomin Builds a House by Tove Jansson 

A short sweet arc from the early days of the Moomin comic strips, which show how Little My ended up living with the Moomin family. When she takes over his room, Moomin decides to build a whole new house. This is harder than he anticipated!

The Wood At Midwinter by Susanna Clarke

A very brief piece of winter magic.

[slamdunktheories]

hi! i hope u are doing well. i would just like to ask for your thoughts or insights maybe assumption or analysis on how sakuragi survives life, if he doesnt have his dad around anymore? I often wonder how he is able to afford meal? clothes or basic needs.

This is a great question! I'd been lowkey wondering about it myself for years! Thanks for nudging me to finally look into this more. Disclaimer: life is insanely busy now but I did want to get one more post out before year end. What follows won't be a polished essay but a bullet list of things I turned up during research/thoughts. Let's get straight into it!

We can assume that Sakuragi's dad is indeed dead since this is strongly inferred in the manga.

We can also assume that Sakuragi's mother doesn't live with him.

A few signs of this: he often wears crumpled clothes and isn't even usually depicted wearing socks.

Japanese fans have also pointed out that in the "father heart attack" flashback, you can quite clearly see that there's no women's shoes/slippers at the genkan of Sakuragi's home; just two pairs of men's shoes, the implication being that it's just Sakuragi and his dad living there. Manga panel here

So the question now is: what happened to Sakuragi's mother? Is she dead or alive?

It's nigh impossible for her to be dead, because that would make Sakuragi an orphan and that can't be, because as one long-time resident of Japan explains here, "In Japan, unfortunately it's very likely for orphans to be sent to institutions; foster/adoption rates are lower than in other developed countries. It is also not so likely that he lives alone "under the radar". Apart from the obvious issue of money, as a student in the public school system, his status would be obvious to teachers. There is legal obligation for teachers to report unusual circumstances for children to the authorities, so he would not be able to function as an "independent" orphaned 15-year-old for long." (Credit: u/FntnDstrct on Reddit)

Which means... he's not an orphan and his mother's alive. Just not with him. So where is she?

Sidenote: I suspect that wherever she is, she has been out of Sakuragi's life for a long time. Reason: early in the manga series, there was a scene where Sakuragi's walking on the street and he's happily singing a song about mothers. Not something a kid who actively misses his mother would do. If she's gone, she's been gone for a long time.

Now if the mother's alive then why isn't she living with Sakuragi? One possibility is that she'd divorced Sakuragi's dad long ago, remarried (possibly in another town) and formed another family.

This could explain why, when Sakuragi's father died, it wasn't convenient for him to move in with her "new" family, and so she is on paper his legal guardian but they don't live together.

This Japanese article mulls over the technicality of this sort of arrangement in more detail, and talks about a scene in the IH Arc of the manga and how that could indicate that Sakuragi lives on his own.

But to answer your original question of how Sakuragi is able to afford his meals and cover daily expenses/necessities, the money may be coming from either i) his dad's life insurance, or ii) just 仕送り(shiokuri) from his mother directly (ie. allowance/financial support straight from his mother).

This explains why he seems to have a bit of money and doesn't absolutely need to take on a part-time job but money always seems tight at the same time.

As a final bit of food for thought, u/FntnDstrct further speculates that "Mito Yohei's family are fostering him informally, which increases tolerance for the system allowing [Sakuragi] to continue schooling in the same town away from his mother. What evidence do we have for this? In the manga and anime, there are some scenes where Yohei seems to know when Sakuragi was up all night worrying, connoting that he stays over often."

[blackcrystalball]

A five minute, 300 word essay. Brennan is a villain. He is a bad guy omg, I can't believe this, I literally screamed when I read the prompt.

I wonder if this is giving nightmarish flashbacks to school.

[youreyeson1y]

SIX— I BREATHED

cw — swearing, typos, ignore timestamps

STEAL THE SHOW. a kim seungmin smau

PREVIOUS < MASTERLIST > NEXT

MI’S NOTES — [17/10/2024] wow a lot has happened, GOLD is finally out and goddamn u better know im bangin my head to that choreo lol. im obsessed esp with bad girls r us and ofc vay!!! (changbin ate I’m afraid) (short rant coming up lolz — lovely runner & general update) and imaginary friend???? what. was that?!?! top #3 itzy songs im not even kidding I HOPE IT BLOWS UP BECAUSE DBASHDBH

also like small life update heh, when I first started w this, I was making these chs almost daily as I had a week off from school and nothing better to do (was surprised by my own consistency) but then just I had the biggest writer’s block after ch5 so i decided to take a break and I watched lovely runner these past two days !! (usually it takes a lot for me to finish a kdrama, but lr was the first time I binged watched a drama)

I was SIMPING UGH but could never be a bigger simp that sun jae (but I’ll be lying if I said that i didn’t have the biggest crush on the musician-playboy-bestie lolz like the seojun effect finally got me LIKE HES SUCH A CUTIE AND HIS SMILE?? AND THE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT??? GOSH 😭😭😭) WHERE DO I FIND MEN LIKE SUN JAE OHMYGOD THEY DON’T MAKE THEM LIKE HIM ANYMORE IM AFRAID 🥲 both the men fr got me giggling and kicking my feet and shit, but the only difference is while musician-bestie guy would be like cocky and proud of himself for getting that reaction out of me, ik sunjae would be kicking his feet with me ohmygod he’s such a simp I’m getting flashbacks and falling in love w them all over again 😭😭 i’m so down bad (but could never compete w sunjae tho he set the standard for pining 🥲) i could really write an essay lol but I’ll stop for yalls sake 😮‍💨😍

and also this break gave me more confidence in my decision in getting a headstart by already making the first few chapters for this smau first before publishing it because I knew my ass could never enjoy a day-off without worrying about the next update and that’s how I wouldn’ve just felt obligated to update and lost my love for the story and feel burnt out and yeah… (can u guess I’ve given up on too many projects 😭)

anyway so that was me, sorry for the long ass a/n but just wanted to vent for a bit 🥲 past mimi signing off xx

SYNOPSIS — kang y/n’s focus was divided between the looming competition and the obnoxious and infuriating kim seungmin. his mocking and sarcastic online jabs sparked her retaliation, entertaining the university with their petty banter. but as their online repartee became routine, curiosity supplanted irritation, threatening her priorities and composure.

TAGLIST — open! (send in an ask to be added 🤍)

@babrieeee @starlostastronaut @charlieg1rl @queen-in-the-shadows @estella-novella @chocolateislife @saintcosette @yaniiiiism @gnabnahcbby @seungzmin @puppy-minnie @jeonginnieswifey @bookswillfindyouaway @keiizzx @hanniemylovelyquokka @jeonginplsholdmyhand

[tokiro07]

Toki Reads Shonen Jump 2024, Issue #52

HxH: Morena's card game begins, and she exposits that she was conceived in a state-sanctioned non-consensual orgy; Borksen learns that thanks to Nen restrictions, she actually does have actually does have an escape route. The implications of Morena's backstory are certainly staggering, but also lost on me

Yozakura: Taiyo has an "I know you're in there" fight with himself, ending with him expelling Asa by shooting himself in the heart. Taiyo's willingness to damage his own body to make it uninhabitable to Asa doesn't seem ideal, but definitely preferable to being possessed

Undead Unluck: Soul tries to force Andy and Victor's souls back together, but Rip cuts them apart permanently with Unrepair. This is Rip's capstone, where he finally uses Unrepair for someone else's happiness instead of ruining his own with it

Roboco: Roboco writes more shameless ripoff manga, but finally learns that her own original material is a lot better. I have no faith that this lesson will stick

Sakamoto: Atari's luck has literally run out; she reveals to Tenkyu that his friendship w/ Uzuki is irreparable; Shin resolves to kill Tenkyu, even if it means severing ties with Sakamoto. Both Tenkyu and Shin are losing their friends because they're killing in their name against their wishes; Atari's an idiot for using such an obscene amount of luck last chapter just to fire ONE bullet

EluSam: Tokiyuki and realKojiro gush over Kojiro as he fights Nagao; the scene cuts away to Mima getting into architecture and interior design. This seems to have an affect on enemy morale, but I feel like it's not worth ignoring what seems to be Kojiro's most important fight

Witch Watch: The flashback gang discusses the legacy of Familiars and their prejudice towards humanity; Kuon warms up to the team, and Taiga raises more death flags. The idea of magic fading away as a sign of peaceful times is a topic I've been thinking about a lot lately because I've been revisiting Medaka Box; this may inform a future essay

Blue Box: Taiki endears himself to Chinatsu's dad with his earnest, if a bit overbearing, nature. I'm glad we're not drawing out the tension too much, it makes the dad more relatable

Akane: Despite Miroku's refusal to let them perform, Shiguma and Issho learn enough rakugo for Kiroku to give them a slot; Miroku offers to grant Kiroku his name and rank if he will use it to expel the pair. This is clearly the event that led to the founding of the Arakawa School, but even with a foregone conclusion, it's a nailbiter

Kill Blue: Juzo and Shin use assassin techniques to advertise the bakery; Yoichiro wagers his staff's bonuses to whichever club can beat their challenges. Clearly he's plotting something, but I can't quite see yet how this furthers his plans

Nue: Rido spontaneously achieves his Bankai Spirit Armor and promptly passes out. It looks cool, but I'm already so unclear on this power system's rules that such an upgrade only serves to confuse me further

Kagurabachi: In a side story, we revisit everyone's favorite guy, Sojo, trying desperately to enjoy a bath despite his routine being ruined at every turn. Looking back, I'm sad that Sojo died; I hope he continues to haunt the narrative

Chojo: Keinain's new assistant, Makami, finds everything about the Chinjuku station to be lewd; this is not because she's a prude, but an extremely repressed pervert. Would

Astro Royale: Himuro reveals he became a cop to stop the Yotsurugi family from interfering with his dad's business, but only found out later that they were supporting him through hard times; the damage he caused this business relationship resulted in his father's suicide; he eats the Daybreak Ore and becomes a mutated mass. Himuro's motivations now reflect Kinpa's, but just like he hurt his dad by targeting the Yotsurugi's, his rage is misdirected and self-destructive

Kiyoshi: Asuta's time runs out and he gets away, cementing the sacrifices made to summon him; as he leaves, he calls Kiyoshi his soulmate in a perverse twist on Kiyoshi's own desire for friendship. Axe-deniers when the lead fails and lets 100 innocent people die - 🎉🍾🥳🎊🥂; throw the yaoi girlies in there too since there's about to be a huge boost in sales

Hima-Ten: Tenichi takes up the rear on the class hike; Himari fakes an injury to keep him company. Very cute, but how the hell does this moron not realize she's in love???

Ichi: Just before the contest begins, Ichi sees a mysterious figure; the Kindake Magik vows to kill everyone who doesn't worship his mushrooms, then escapes into his mushroom forest. So much for not being a human-hater; Togeice's poor sense of direction will certainly make this challenge much harder on her

Shinobi: Yodaka sabotages Hachikuma's strings and turns them against him. Though heavy-handed, Yodaka straightening and braiding Hachikuma's discarded, tangled strings as a symbol of the value of putting effort into maintaining relationships is sweet

Hakutaku: The mechanics of the AR game are explained, but Hikuma sleeps through people actually enjoying it. Maybe it's cus I don't like mobile games, but I do not see the appeal of this game, which is probably the most damning indictment of a game design manga

Syd Craft: Elio is revealed to be Levie Olyn, Syd's favorite romance author, who became his assistant after he cleared her name in a case; she writes her books to vent her DEFINITELY NOT ROMANTIC feelings for Syd. That's a great dynamic, I love girls who pine, I'm super endeared to this idiot

My top 3 manga for the week are:

Undead Unluck, unsurprisingly, for its fantastic color page, multiple great spreads, and at least two of what will undoubtedly become the most iconic moments in the entire series; congrats on netting the final cover of the year!

Syd Craft for continuing to expand upon its concept in a way that really appeals to me; let it be known I never said Tsutsui was a bad author, I just said he was a coward

Kiyoshi for dodging the axe, establishing an interesting dynamic between Kiyoshi and Asuta, and the bravery to leave it on such a bleak cliffhanger

Runners up include Astro Royale and Shinobi Undercover, both for giving me some interesting symbolism to chew on, as well as Hima-Ten and Chojo for women in denial that fall short of Elio

Edit: I want to correct something I said last week - it does not seem like Bug Ego is joining Weekly Jump after all, I think someone I follow on twitter either got a bad tip or I misunderstood what they said. Bug Ego was added to the Shonen Jump app, not Shonen Jump itself. Apologies for any confusion!

[withwritersblock]

Caffeine

~Caffeine by Jack Kays~

Author's Note: Fun fact I saw Jack Kays in concert and he played this song for the first time at my concert before it was released. Almost sobbed when I heard it. As always italics are flashbacks Summary: Luke Hughes proposes to Y/N Warnings: idk? Word Count: 2,038 Luke Hughes x fm!reader

The ring has been in his pocket for nine weeks. He’s taken it with him on away games and carried it with him wherever he went in case he wanted to ask. Despite having a specific plan to ask her at his lake house. It wasn’t because it was a special place in his heart, it was because of how gorgeous the place looked during sunsets and sunrises.

When she’s visiting with them in Michigan it was one of their favorite activities to sit on the roof and watch the sun rise. They never really got a lot of sleep while they were there, so they’d watch the sunset while on the boat with his family and friends. 

Tonight was no different as they were all on the boat together watching the orange light up the sky and blend into the beautiful lake. Quinn and Jack were cracking jokes as Y/N was laying in Luke’s lap as he ran his fingers through her hair. The ring box was back in his room in the lake house. It wasn’t the right time, except right now, there was no right time. Nothing felt perfect. 

Leaning his head down, he brought his lips close to her ear, “Hey,” he whispered. She tilted her head back, meeting his gaze. “Are you tired?” he asked as he brushed a few pieces of hair away from her face. She hummed as a reply as she tucked her head back against his chest.

“Take a nap,” he mumbled as he pressed his lips to the top of her head. She took a deep breath as he continued running his fingers through her hair soothingly. 

During his study hall, students in his high school were allowed to roam the school. They had a little freedom on where they wanted to do their assignments. Luke’s favorite spot was the auditorium where the theater performances were held. 

It was always extra quiet, dark, and he was always alone. Until one random Tuesday his sophomore year of high school where he was sitting on the floor all the way in the back.

He was typing up his essay about The Great Gatsby when he heard a voice singing. He lifted his gaze up to see the gorgeous girl pacing the stage and singing a song he didn’t know. It was a song from a musical, he concluded by the way her voice hit the notes. 

She wasn’t trying, he could tell but the way her voice was so effortlessly beautiful had his heart beating fast. He delicately placed his computer beside him as he slowly stood up. He didn’t recognize her, he knew everyone in the school. Or so he thought because he’s never seen her before.

She continued to sing as she was walking off of the stage until she lifted her gaze from the floor to see Luke.  She screamed as she slammed her hand against her chest. “Oh my god! What the hell are you doing!?” she shouted as her heart began racing fast.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry, oh my-I’m sorry I didn’t mean to scare you!” he let out panickedly as her scream nearly made him collapse. “I didn’t know you were in here,” he mumbled. 

“What the hell were you doing sitting on the floor!?” she shouted as she brushed her hair away from her face. She took a deep breath.

“I spend my study hall here! No one is normally in here. I’m sorry,” he let out as he met her gaze, it was dark but her eyes were shining brightly.

She took a hesitant breath as she dropped her hand from her chest, “I spend my study hall in here too, I didn’t know someone else was in here,” she mumbled. He furrowed his eyebrows as he tilted his head to the side.

“Wait, so you’ve been in here all year?” Luke questioned and she nodded slowly. “Well this is awkward,” he mumbled.

“I rehearse here all of the time, how did you not know I was here?” she asked suspiciously. 

“I normally wear my headphones at full blast but I forgot them in my brother’s car this morning,” he mumbled as he smiled softly.

Luke was standing in his room, staring at the ring box in his hand. He spent every day staring at the ring trying to picture it on her hand. He always went back and forth if the ring was the right one.

Ellen knocked on his door, he quickly shoved the ring box into his pocket as she pushed the door open. “Hi honey,” she mumbled as she stepped inside, Luke took in a sharp breath as he pulled the box back out of his pocket. 

He flipped the box open again to stare at it. He slowly sat down on the bed as she sat down beside him. “It’s beautiful, Luke, stop overthinking it,” she mumbled as she stared towards his features. He pulled his lips between his teeth as he met his mother’s gaze.

“What if she says no?” he asked barely above a whisper. 

Ellen pulled her head back as she shook her head, “She won’t,”

“You don’t know that, there’s always a chance she will say no,” he countered as he looked back towards the ring.

“She loves you,” she mumbled as she wrapped her arm around his back pulling her youngest son into a side hug. “And you love her, all you have to do is ask.”

“That’s easier said than done,” he let out with a chuckle. After a few moments of silence he asks, “Do you think we’re too young? Like, is it too early to ask?” 

Ellen paused for a few moments as she took a deep breath, “You’ve been together for over five years, that’s long enough to know if you want to marry someone. Just because you are twenty years old doesn’t mean you don’t know what love means. You’ve spent five years loving the same girl, that shows that you are mature enough to want to ask the question.” 

He smiled as he met his mom’s gaze as he nodded slightly, “I knew I wanted to marry her the first time I met her,” he let out as he pressed his lips together, “I don’t think I ever told you that,” he mumbled.

“No, no you didn’t,” she let out as she rested her head on his shoulder, “I’m proud of you,” she mumbled. He smiled softly as he took a deep breath in.

She was standing at her locker, swapping out her textbooks when Luke came up behind her and leaned against the locket beside her. She jumped as she placed her hand against her chest, “Why do you always feel the need to scare me?” she asked while laughing, she slammed the locker shut as they began walking towards the theater together.

She rehearses for her choir and musical performances while he sits and studies for his exams. He shrugged his shoulders as he tightened his backpack. He bit his bottom lip as he fought off the smile on his lips. “What are you thinking, Luke?” she asked as she licked her lips nervously. 

“There’s that ice cream place a few streets away from school, I was wondering if you wanted to go after school,” he asked shyly. She squinted her eyes towards him and smiled widely.

“Are you asking me out?” she questioned, already knowing the answer based on the redness of his cheeks.

“Yeah, to ice cream,” he mumbled as he pushed the door open to the theater, letting her walk in first. “Where some people may consider it a date,” he muttered. 

“Oh and are you considered some people because I’m some people,” she teased as she leaned her body against the brick wall beside them. He smirked as he glanced towards her lips. 

“Oh I’m definitely some people,” he said as he took a step towards her, his gaze lingering on her lips. He thought about kissing her like he’s wanted to since the first time he met her. 

She leaned towards him kissing him urgently, it was her first kiss ever. He quickly reciprocated the kiss, pushing her against the wall. He pulled away as he rested his forehead against hers, “Wow,” he mumbled as his heart was racing. His mind was in shambles as she was only an inch away from him.

It was six in the morning, the sky was slowly becoming more blue as the hues of orange were still vibrant in the sky. It was cold enough for them to wear hoodies, an easy way for him to hide the ring in his pocket. 

The words were circulating his mind as if he was running seven miles on six hundred miligrams of caffeine. His heart slapping hard against his chest, his head aching as his hands were shaking. He was terrified she would say no. But he knew she had absolutely no reason to. She wouldn’t have been with him for as long as she was if she didn’t want to marry him. He knew that.

Her head rested on his chest as he was tightening his grip around the little box in his pocket. He tilted his head to the side pressing his lips to the top of her head. She hummed against his chest as she ran her hand along his chest. 

“I love the city but nothing beats this,” she mumbled as her gaze admired the ripples in the water as the orange casted a gorgeous view against the water. He took a deep breath as he slowly forced her to sit up with him. 

She furrowed her eyebrows as she brushed her hair away from her face as she looked towards Luke. He put both of his hands into his pocket, fiddling with the box as he looked deeply into her sleepy eyes

“Did I ever tell you that the second I heard your voice, I knew you were going to be the love of my life?” he asked. 

Her lips curled upward slightly as she titled her head to the side. “No you haven’t,” she mumbled.

He took another deep breath as he dropped his gaze towards his lap, “I’ve tried finding the right words and how to perfectly say this but I don’t think there is a perfect way,” he paused. 

“I know we’re young and can’t even legally drink yet,” he chuckled, “I mean you moved to Jersey with me without giving it a second thought. That made me realize how all in you were with me. I’ve spent five years in love with you,” he met her gaze and saw the tears forming in her eyes, her smile was wide, “I know we’re young and people are going to have their opinions but-” he pulled the box from his pocket, opened it and showed it to her, “Will you marry me?”

“Yes, yes-” she let out excitedly as she lunged towards him wrapping him in a hug, he collapsed on his back. He laughed as he shut the box, securing the ring, as he tightly wrapped his arms around the center of her back. He squeezed her tightly to his chest. “I’m so in love with you,” she whispered in his ear before she leaned towards him, kissing him softly. 

“I was worried you were going to say no,” he mumbled as she pulled away, she shook her head dramatically. 

“There is not a single part of me that doesn’t want to marry you,” she let out before she kissed him again. He delicately placed the ring box into his pocket before he rested his hands onto her hips. “Put the ring on my finger,” she mumbled as she sat up, straddling his body. 

He excitedly reached into his pocket again to pull the box out. He pulled the ring from the holder and took a hold of her left hand. He slowly slid the ring on and it fit perfectly. She stared at it and started tearing up again. “It’s so beautiful,” she mumbled. He hummed as he stared towards her admiring her frame as the sunrise was behind her, illimuting her already gorgeous frame.