#*cue freddie mercury*

[vroomvroomwee]

As an aroace I always feel like an idiot for questioning my identity because it's always some bullshit cycle on the lines of:

Me: I think I want a relationship.

Brain: Oh, okay. So you might not be aroace then?

Me: I guess...

Brain: So you want to have sex with someone?

Me: Ew no? I want to hug someone.

Brain: Okay. So you want to be romantic with someone?

Me: No? Hug....

Brain: ...?

Me: Hug...

[pandapetals]

Shits and Giggles

You and Logan get drunk together and get caught by Xavier.

professor logan howlett x professor fem!reader - married couple, cute, fluff, teasing, no y/n used, no reader description, your an english professor, logan is a history professor - imagine days of future past logan with the white streaks in his hair

read on ao3 or find more parts for the series: here

divider credit: @enchanthings

“I’ve lost count of how many I’ve had,” you giggled, waving the half-empty beer bottle in your hand like it was some kind of trophy. The world felt a little off-kilter, the living room spinning just slightly as you leaned against Logan on the couch.

Logan, slouched back with his legs stretched out and another empty bottle at his feet, glanced over at you, his lips curling into a lopsided grin. “Sweetheart,” he slurred, his words tinged with a hiccup, “I think we both gave up on countin' somewhere between… hell, I don’t even know.”

You snorted, dissolving into another fit of laughter that made your shoulders shake. “Between 'hell' and 'I don’t even know,'” you echoed, the absurdity of it striking you as the funniest thing in the world. “That’s gotta be at least… five?”

Logan chuckled, shaking his head as he reached for another bottle on the coffee table, nearly knocking over a half-eaten bowl of pretzels in the process. “Five? Try ten,” he shot back, popping the cap off with a quick twist of his wrist. “You’re lightweight compared to me.” He took a swig, then glanced sideways at you, a mischievous twinkle in his eye. “Remember when you tried to out-drink me that one time?”

You burst into laughter again, nearly spilling your drink. “Oh my God, yes! I thought I could handle whiskey,” you said, still giggling as you shook your head. “And then I ended up singing 'Bohemian Rhapsody' on the pool table.”

Logan snorted, his deep laugh rumbling in his chest. “Yeah, you were ‘Galileo’-ing so hard, I thought you were gonna fall off.” He pointed at you with the neck of his beer bottle, his grin widening. “I’ve never seen anyone get that passionate about Freddie Mercury.”

“Well,” you said, trying to compose yourself but failing as another hiccup escaped, “Freddie Mercury is worth the passion.”

You both dissolved into another round of laughter, so loud that the quiet mansion seemed to echo with it, the kind of laughter that left your sides hurting and tears forming at the corners of your eyes. It felt like the whole world had shrunk down to just the two of you—your private little universe of bad jokes and too many drinks.

Logan wiped a tear from the corner of his eye, still chuckling. “We gotta be the loudest drunks in history,” he murmured, his voice low and amused. “Pretty sure we just woke up half the neighborhood.”

“Hey, it’s not our fault the living room has such good acoustics,” you said, hiccuping again, then letting out a laugh that quickly turned into a snort. “Plus, if the mansion was really soundproof like Xavier claims, we’d be fine.”

As if on cue, Xavier wheeled in, looking every bit the stern headmaster despite the lateness of the hour. His brows were raised in a mixture of amusement and disapproval. “And what, may I ask, is the cause of all this ruckus?” he said, his voice calm but carrying that unmistakable tone of authority.

You clapped a hand over your mouth, trying—and failing—to stifle your laughter. “Professor!” you said, eyes wide as you tried to sit up straighter. “Uh, we were just… um…”

“Studying the effects of… alcohol on… something,” Logan added, attempting to sound serious but breaking into a grin halfway through the sentence. “Purely scientific. For… education.”

Xavier sighed, shaking his head as he looked between the two of you. “At this hour? In the middle of the living room?” His lips quirked slightly like he was fighting the urge to smile. “You do realize there are other people in this mansion who require sleep?”

You bit your lip, trying to look contrite but still giggling. “Sorry, Professor,” you said, though your voice wobbled with barely contained laughter. “We’ll keep it down. Pinky promise.” You held up your little finger as if to seal the deal.

Logan glanced at you, then back at Xavier, and without missing a beat, extended his own pinky in a solemn gesture. “Swear on it,” he said, the grin still tugging at his lips.

Xavier shook his head again, a hint of a smile breaking through his stern expression. “I suppose I’ll let it slide this time,” he said, turning his chair toward the door. “But if I hear another rendition of 'Bohemian Rhapsody,' you’ll be on kitchen duty for the rest of the month.”

As soon as he left the room, you and Logan exchanged a look before breaking into laughter all over again, doubling over as you clinked your bottles together. “Kitchen duty,” you gasped, wiping tears from your eyes. “I can’t even make toast without setting off the smoke alarm.”

Logan’s deep laughter echoed through the room once more as he reached over to pull you closer, his arm slipping around your shoulders. “Guess that’s one more reason to behave,” he said, his voice still rough with amusement. “But I gotta admit, darlin’, there’s nobody I’d rather get scolded with.”

You leaned into him, resting your head on his shoulder as the laughter finally started to die down, leaving a warm, fuzzy contentment in its wake. “Likewise,” you murmured, your voice softened by the alcohol and the comfort of his warmth. “We really are a bad influence on each other, huh?”

Logan chuckled, his fingers gently brushing through your hair. “Maybe,” he said quietly, “but I’d say we’re a damn good time.”

[felassan]

David Gaider on Dorian, under a cut for length:

"Now this is a fun one. It's no big secret I have a lot of feelings about Dorian, not least of which because he was my first (and only) gay male companion. There's a lot more to him than that, of course (as there should be), and it was quite a trip. So let's go! Now, DAI is a story all its own, but I'm sticking to the characters. In this case, back at the beginning, the writers were going to try something new: we were going to let the artists take a more active role in the companion creation process. Why? Because not doing so had caused a lot of problems. See, here's the thing: writers and artists speak two different languages. When talking about characters, we talk about their story. Who they are. What they want. We'd write up these briefs, huge and full of information... but it was never the information the artists needed. They wanted visual cues. I don't mean describing their appearance. Sure, we'd usually provide that, especially if there was a story case to be made, but often the artists vetoed us on appearance stuff anyhow so meh. No, I mean they looked for visual language while we tended to only talk about who the characters *were*. What would happen is they'd hone in on something visual in our write-up not intended to be a focus. The first write-up for Anders in DA2, for instance, mentioned he was "haggard" after his journey... and the first concept we got was this pale, shriveled man. "What... is this?" "YOU SAID HAGGARD!" 😅"

"That was the other trick: sometimes when we DID try to be more descriptive, we had to be extra cautious because the words could be interpreted very differently. You encounter this recording VO, too. A VO note says "hysterical" and you *meant* "really upset" but the actor read "scream like a banshee" Thus this caused problems, like I said. The artists would struggle, sometimes conjuring details just to give the character *something* but which would change the character... and, to us, the character was created. Done. We were already invested, probably already writing them. Something had to give. So this time we wrote a bunch of character briefs - but short. One paragraph. We stuck to vibes and the *emotions* we wanted the concepts to evoke. And we didn't name them. They got titles like "Slick Con Man" or "Ice Queen", so we wouldn't get too attached. Then we handed these off to the artists. And it worked nicely. The ones that just weren't inspiring we'd discard, no problem. The others had juice... and the artists felt free to play and offer lots of variations because we weren't set on anything yet. A lot of times, what they produced ended up inspiring US. It was a neat back-and-forth."

"This is what led to Dorian, in fact. He came from a short write-up entitled "Rock Star Mage" and it really boiled down to "I'm cool and I know I'm cool, so take that you cretins". And just like that, the first sketches (by Casper Konefal, I think? I bet I'm wrong) were all amazing. Instant fire. Me: "He looks kind of like... Freddie Mercury?" Him: "Is that bad?" Me: "NO ARE YOU KIDDING THIS IS AMAZING" Plus there was a monkey. Sadly, we had to lose the monkey. There were iterations to come, but this was really where Dorian was born: Tevinter mage, noble, savant, and too cool for school."

"When did he become gay? Not right away. Like I said elsewhere, we didn't talk romance and sexuality until after the concepts were more in place. But as we were brainstorming about why this hot shot mage left Tevinter, the idea DID come up that maybe it was because he was gay. Not directly, however. Homophobia isn't really a thing in Thedas, after all, so at first blush I didn't think that could work. "Rich kid gets kicked out of the house for being gay" wasn't a trope I wanted to explore. But, then again, magister families in Tevinter are *obsessed* with the appearance of perfection, so...? Any deviation from the "norm" is considered scandal-worthy. It said weakness. It said you couldn't control your house. Now... THAT had real promise. The writing pit discussed it a lot. So I think it's fair to say that the gay fairy was already circling Dorian even before we got to the romance talk. I think it's also fair to say that the rest of the team realized I low-key wanted to write him, because when everyone started calling dibs, who was left standing for me? (I pick last, remember.) I gleefully snatched him up and got to work... ...about six months later. I was very busy at the time. 😅 That late start meant I had to design and write VERY quickly. And I did. Somehow, though, this one... it came easily. "Catty gay man" isn't digging very deep, no surprise to anyone who knows me, and it had an extra layer of being so fun because Dorian was confident. He sparred verbally. I loved it."

"There was more to it, however. The conflict between Dorian and his father... ugh, how do I say this? Let's be clear: Dorian's story is not MY story, but it's also not far off. I wrote the entire confrontation scene in one go. After I was done, I probably cried harder than I ever have in my life. 🫠 I was unsure whether it was any good, however. I just didn't feel objective. I passed it over to Cori May - my friend but also Dorian's editor - and asked her to please tell me and be honest. She read it. She walked into my office after, tears streaming down her face, and just nodded. "It's good." Here's the thing. Not everyone is going to agree with this, but: I don't think a writer NEEDS to be a minority in order to write a minority. Sometimes those characters should simply exist, and we want them to. But if that character's story is ABOUT their experience as a minority? That's different. Dorian's story didn't need to revolve around his sexuality - and, honestly, it only did so as a tangent to his family issue, but they're so bound together it's probably irrelevant to split them - but my writing him meant it could be. It allowed me to SAY something. That felt good. It felt right. Ramon Tikaram came on board after a lengthy casting process (so many British Indian accents, oh god). I sat in on a few recording sessions... the confrontation scene, though? Ramon: *says line* Me: (curled up on a nearby sofa in fetal position) *shaky thumbs up* Caroline: "Yep. Great work, Ramon!""

"Dorian's sexuality isn't all he's about, but that's certainly how some viewed it. When the character was announced in 2014, his being gay was mentioned as the last of a number of points, and the instant response from some gamers was to act as if we'd called a press conference just to say THAT. 🙄 It was annoying. Still is. Overall, however, the reaction to Dorian was very positive. The number of straight men who said they romanced him still pleases me. The number of fans who privately contacted me who'd been through conversion therapy, some who said Dorian helped them survive? Well. Gosh. 😭 I did write him for Trespasser - though I hear that a late scope cut meant every conversation had been chopped by 1/3rd or more, and that meant a lot of nuance lost. Which is sad, if true, because it sounds like the result of that left some Dorian romancers a bit cold. Such is how game dev rolls. 😔 If you need more proof of how it was hard for me to let go of him, a short story I wrote after Trespasser came out where Dorian has a bit of closure with his dead father: medium.com/@davidgaider... So yeah. He'll always be my boi. And I'll always be thankful Bio gave me this opportunity. ❤️"

[source thread]

User: "I'm not going to lie, it's hard to take my mind off Dorian almost having a monkey." David Gaider: "If by “almost” you mean there was a picture of a monkey that the concept artist put there as a whim, and which would almost certainly have taken more cinematics and modeling time to put in than we could ever afford… then yes. 😉" [source]

[greenthena]

Somebody to Love

Aziraphale does this little thing with his hand when Angel!Crowley starts gesturing all wildly like he does. It's like he thinks for a moment about reaching out to grab Angel!Crowley's hand. To make a connection. Or, I dunno, maybe, just for a second, he imagines Angel!Crowley is reaching out to him.

But Angel!Crowley is entirely preoccupied with the sheer joy of what he's made. He's really very self-absorbed. Not in a rotten way, but like a kid who is so pleased to have done something he finds wonderful and is hyperfocused on his creation. The way Angel!Crowley looks back to his nebula in the end of the gif above. He's made a connection, already. But he's connected to this thing he's made, not to another angel.

It's not until Aziraphale tells him that the word from upstairs is that Angel!Crowley's nebula is only going to last a few thousand years that Angel!Crowley finally really looks at him. And even then, Angel!Crowley still doesn't reach out to make any meaningful connection with Aziraphale. Instead, he shares his plan to go straight to the top and give the Almighty some suggestions for how to run things. Angel!Crowley has the confidence (in this case meaning a combination of optimism and naivete) that God will hear his questions because he has no concept of self-doubt. He is entirely confident in his own abilities and because of this, he's not looking for a peer to fulfill his needs, even his need for connection.

Fallen Crowley has to be self-sufficient because he can't trust anyone. Hated by Heaven, loathed by Hell. How will our hero cope? And, yes, he trusts Aziraphale more than he trusts anyone else, but that trust is fragile and we rarely see Crowley lean into it. We see how very new and delicate this trust is in 1941, after the bullet catch when Crowley says, "You said, 'trust me.'" And Aziraphale replies, almost in disbelief, "And you did."

Now hear me out. Angel!Crowley's brand of self-sufficiency is the precursor of Fallen Crowley's trust issues.

Angel!Crowley demands a bit of help from a passing angel, barely acknowledges the help provided, responds flippantly to Aziraphale's praise, and ignore's Aziraphale's advice to proceed with caution in his dealings with the higher ups. Angel!Crowley only engages in connection with Aziraphale (and I'm guessing other angels, as well) when he needs something. Unlike Aziraphale, Angel!Crowley's not a particularly social being (at least from what we're shown) except when social interactions create immediate, tangible benefit to him. (I say this with nothing but love for Angel!Crowley, myself an AuDHD adult who struggles to understand the function of many forms of social interactions.)

I think that in the Fall, Angel!Crowley's self-sufficiency shifted from a sort of confident, creative individualism to a withdrawn, mantled motivation for self-protection. Crowley's never been good at connecting with others. As an angel, this manifested in his demonstrated tendency to become fully absorbed in his work. As a demon, we can see this same trait evidenced in his trust issues.

But here's what I find fascinating. On the wall, when Crowley slithers up to Aziraphale, it's the demon who initiates the bid for connection.

As Angel!Crowley, his self-sufficiency had been buttressed (yes, I'm sticking to my word choice) by his innate connection to the Almighty. He didn't seek out connection with other angels, because he already felt naturally connected to his Creator. But Fallen Crowley has lost that connection. So now, he's torn between protecting what's left of his identity, shielding himself from additional suffering, and inching his way toward trying to find someone with whom he can connect.

And now, please cue Freddie Mercury.

[broken-clover]

One (Semi-obscure) Fact About Every Guilty Gear Character

I like trivia. And I like Guilty Gear. Being a series that’s been around for the better part of two decades, it’s only natural there’s some details that are less known about. So I wanted to make a silly little compilation about that, inspired by ‘One Obscure Fact About Every Total Drama Character’ by voiceunderthecovers on Youtube. 

As the title suggests, I also specifically did my best to pull out facts that may be less known even to fans of the series, so ideally there’s no ‘Sol is based on Freddie Mercury’-tier stuff here. I tried to find something interesting for everyone!

Characters are listed in order of their first playable games

Missing Link

Sol Badguy- Sol was originally meant to be voiced by actor Koichi Yamadera rather than developer Daisuke Ishiwatari, but given the developer's budget at the time, he would have been too expensive to afford

Ky Kiske- While Ky has been consistently voiced by Takeshi Kusao for the entire series' run in Japanese, he has been given a different voice actor for every dubbed game for both the English and Korean versions. This means that Ky has had seven official voice actors in total, making him among the highest of the cast alongside Testament

May- May is one of only a few characters in the series to have a tattoo, and only one of two where it is not implied or indicated to be magical in some way, alongside Potemkin's barcode

Potemkin- Several of Potemkin's moves across games reference Hinduism. Strive's 'Garuda Impact' is named after a birdlike demigod that acts as a mount for Vishnu, while Xrd SIGN's 'Trishula' is named for a divine trident-like weapon wielded by the god Shiva

Chipp Zanuff- According to prototype and side materials, Chipp is 22 years old as of Missing Link.

Faust- Possibly to go along with his nature of being a doctor with the desire to treat anyone he comes across, Faust's blood type is O, the universal donor

Axl Low- Axl claims the specific date he desired to return to was May 14, 1998. This is the same date that Missing Link was released in Japan

Millia Rage- According to her Xrd SIGN story mode, Millia's favorite flower is the Easter Lily

Zato-1- Based on his abduction dialogue in Strive, Zato believes in aliens

Kliff Undersn- Despite being removed from the Wii version of XX Accent Core, along with Justice, both their names and endings remain in the game's code. They also both contain original art that had never been used up to that point

Testament- The twin demons that Testament summons in Strive are the same singular familiar they possessed in prior games, simply named ‘Succubus,’ possibly split into two entities similarly to Ramlethal's familiar Lucifero

Justice- In Missing Link, Justice was voiced by Arc System employee Takuya Morito, who also voiced Chipp

Baiken- Baiken was initially a difficult character to include in the series, as due to being an amputee, it brought up issues with compliance standards at the time

X

Anji Mito- one of his aliases, Hirasawa, was actually planned to be his name during the start of X's development

Venom- During the winpose where he spins his cue, it is able to interact with any remaining balls that are still set up nearby

Johnny- Johnny is implied to have a close history with Gig, the main antagonist of the DS spinoff game Guilty Gear Dust Strikers

Jam Kuradoberi- In Blazblue, Litchi Faye-Ling's theme 'Oriental Flower' is a remix of her X theme, 'Babel Nose'

Dizzy- In the Guilty Gear XX Burst Encyclopedia, full-bodied sketch concepts exist for her wing entities, Necro and Undine. It is unknown currently if the designs were ever meant to be implemented into the game or if they were simply unused concepts

XX

Bridget- Bridget’s usage of a yo-yo as a weapon was inspired by a world-class yo-yoer that Daisuke Ishiwatari knew during the development of XX

Slayer- In SIGN, Slayer is shown to be able to control his limbs even after being severed

Zappa- In his Accent Core character art, Zappa is drawn with six fingers on his right hand. This has never appeared before or since, and is likely just an error. However, in some circles, six fingered-hands are viewed as spiritually significant

I-no- Her main guitar weapon, 'Marlene,' closely resembles the real-life Starplayer TV model manufactured by German company Duesenberg. One of her design inspirations, Sheena Ringo, owned a similar guitar, which she referred to as 'Dietrich.' Collectively, both may be a reference to German actress Marlene Dietrich

Robo-Ky- In #Reload, Robo-Ky is unique in that he has two separate standard match themes, with a day version and a night version depending on what round is occurring

Overture

Sin Kiske- In all of his playable appearances, Sin has never been depicted wearing socks

Izuna- Despite often being assumed to be a kitsune due to his foxlike ears, it is implied through his story in the Overture Original Material Collection that Izuna is actually a tsukumogami made from a hairpin

Dr. Paradigm- Prior to Strive bringing back several actors from SIGN, Paradigm was the only character to have a consistent dub voice, retaining the same actor in SIGN that he did in Overture

Raven- The portraits used for his non-playable appearance in XX are traced from the illustrations used in the side novel Lightning the Argent

Xrd

Bedman- He shares his voice actor with the character Marth from the Fire Emblem series in both his original Japanese and English dub voices, Hikaru Midorikawa and Yuri Lowenthal respectively

Ramlethal Valentine- Ramlethal is the only Xrd Valentine to not be associated with a holiday

Elphelt Valentine- Elphelt is the only playable female character depicted wearing earrings. There are more playable men in Guilty Gear that wear them than women.

Leo Whitefang- The PS3 console version of Xrd SIGN contains unused prototype art for an alternative version of Leo's character portrait

Jack-O Valentine- Similarly to Elphelt and Ramlethal, Jack-O is mechanically unusual as a character, in her case due to her servant-summoning mechanic. It is often believed that this is a reference to the tower-defense style gameplay of Overture, where the original Valentine appeared.

Kum Haehyun- Haehyun only speaks with her own voice during her outro animation. All of her other dialogue is spoken through her mech

Answer- Possibly as a way of properly proportioning the third lens of his glasses, Answer's model contains a second nose above the first. This was left in place and simply made invisible rather than be removed in the final version

STRIVE

Nagoriyuki- Though he was teased in the very first trailer for Guilty Gear Strive at EVO 2019, he remained unnamed for almost a year until his official trailer was released along with Leo’s in July 2020

Giovanna- Despite it being her debut game, across the entire script of Strive's story mode, Giovanna only has 22 lines of spoken dialogue, totaling 157 words overall. For reference, Sol speaks more than that during his first 10 lines

Goldlewis Dickinson- Along with Bridget, Delilah, and the Valentines, Goldlewis is one of the few characters who canonically has a sibling

Happy Chaos- In Baiken's Strive DLC trailer, an error occurs near the beginning where during a brief pan along the character's name, a trait consistent along all of the Seaon 1 DLC trailers, it erroneously reads as 'Happy Chaos' rather than 'Baiken.' It is unknown how this mistake occurred or made it to the final version, though it was fixed by the next installment, as Testament's trailer lacks this error

Delilah- Her English voice actor, Jessica DiCicco, voiced another adolescent telekinetic, Franke Athens, in the cult classic game Psychonauts

That Man- With his full name being given as Asuka R. Kreutz, he is one of only two characters to be given a middle initial, alongside Bedman

[freddiemercurylegendabovelegends]

🔸In the mid-1970s, a Queen encore featured Fred throwing stems of red roses into the audience. The roses had to be de-thorned by an assistant; a laborious task, and Fred complained that there were never enough blooms. Inevitably, some small prickles would remain on the stems and Fred’s delicate hands would be punctured. To improve Fred’s flower distribution, keep to budget and avoid any further spillage of blood, the choice of flower was later changed to carnations, which I kept secreted in buckets of water under the piano. On cue, I would rush on with an armful for Fred, and, while he tossed stems to the sea of outstretched grasping hands, I’d take his microphone to the side of the stage and prepare the next bunch. When the carnations were all finished, he would sprint urgently towards the piano and I would rush to meet him halfway on stage with his mike. Nice bit of choreography… If he was in a particularly frisky mood, Fred would take the plastic buckets as well as the flowers, and throw them and the water over the audience, himself – or me!

- Peter Hince

Queen Unseen, book

Pic: Queen live! Freddie Mercury performing on stage throws carnations at fans - San Diego, CA, USA, San Diego Sports Arena, December 16, 1977, during 'News Of The World Tour'

📸 Credit photo © Colleen Bracken

[cherphadetseuk]

So I've been thinking about the latest Only Friends Episode. Yes, I'm watching it too, I just never talked about it in text form.

Anyway, I still haven't processed this episode because my heart is breaking in every episode when I see Sand's face. And that scene in the end was the icing on the cake and idk how to recover. When is it Sand happy hours, seriously. Every episode he gets dragged along and then pushed aside (sometimes literally *coughepisode6cough*).

Anyway, I've just been thinking about the preview of the next episode. Drama aside with the drugs and whatever happened to Mew there but I was thinking about the choice of dress up for that fancy dress party thing they attend.

First of all Mew and Ray. Mew with that shirt is clearly dressed up as Harley Quinn and after looking at the SandRay scene, Ray's outfit indicates the Joker if I'm correct. So they go as Joker and Harley, which in itself is already a doomed relationship. However, I don't know if the roles should have been reversed. Not because Mew is in his villain era (not that Harley isn't in theory also in a villain era at all times) but because Harley is the one who's always hung up by the Joker and follows him around at all times and tries to make him like her. So in theory Ray should have been Harley. But that's beside the point. What I was thinking is the choice. They chose a doomed relationship of two very f**ked up characters which kinda represents their current situation. Arguably I can understand Ray being the Joker given the origin story and his mental state. Mew is Harley Quinn because she isn't actually a villain but shit drove her the way she is and she's just gone crazy and with Mew starting his villain arc I feel like that fits perfectly.

Now Sand. As I realised after a second glance, and also not shocking, he's dressed as Freddie Mercury who we all know is a very troubled character if you know his life story. Freddie Mercury is a troubled soul who puts up this persona on stage for a little bit, to forget about the troubles in his life. Lady Gaga is the same kind of troubled character and so are a lot of musicians. Sand is also a musician with inner struggles who is a very different and happy person on stage. He smiles on stage and is genuinely carefree when he performs. As soon as he leaves the stage the troubles await. The only other times he smiles is when he's with his mum (who I absolutely ADORE) and his happy moments with Ray (before he gets kicked around and dragged through the mud). The fact that in the preview he is about to kiss another Freddie Mercury dress-up kinda plays on the "You should love yourself" line he said to Ray. I don't know if Sand actually fully loves himself. He doesn't indicate that he doesn't but I don't think he hates himself or the way he is. He is just broken hearted. We don't know all of his life story. We know his dad is not around but, as we found out in this episode as well, he doesn't care about that. His mum is nice and supportive and he has a dream to travel and see all the musicians and be a musician. He has been the most put together character so far in this show (aside of his multiple heartbreaks over Ray and his feud with Top over their ex (which I'm still curious about) and Boston's general assery).

I just find it interesting when you look at the characters they chose to dress up as and how it kinda correlates with their own person. I'm curious what the others are dressed up. I know Top is there but I forgot what he was wearing, if he was even at the party to begin with or just went there later because of drama.

I also find it interesting how Sand saw MewRay but didn't act on it (or at least I think he didn't because we don't know the aftereffect of that but given that he tells Ray he's no rebound and the multiple times he said that he didn't care...which he's lying about but that's why I said he's putting up that persona) but as soon as Sand even lays eyes on someone else (cue to next episodes preview) he gets all possessive and intervenes right away. Which, Ray, baby, I love you, but you're not very subtle about your crush on Sand. Also, the fact that he says, "I can love as many people as I want", yes, you can but don't string them all along. At least before you didn't act on your Mew crush but now you do while also stringing Sand along for your convenience on him being always there for you. They both have feelings, you can't just be selfish and think you can just have them both when you want it and not have one of them (or both) hurt in the process. Again, I love you but I wanna slap some sense into your brain so badly.

I don't know what the point was of this post but ah well.

[sabinesybill]

non penso di aver mai riso così tanto come a leggere "suo figlio non farà come il Trota" 😭😭😭

Ti prego continua con questo AU perchè tutto quello che dici è oro puro

Ahahahahah glad to hear it, questi sono i riferimenti culturali che ci piacciono. Ironicamente non ho più sentito parlare tanto di lui, Trota che fine hai fatto? Come sta andando con la laurea comprata con i punti del conad?

Sicuro continuerò!! Un'idea che avevo da tempo era che cantanti italiani ascoltano e mi sono soffermata sui Green kids però magari questa cosa la estenderò ai Blacks ✨

Allora:

Aemond ascolta de André dall'età di tredici anni e ne ha fatto la sua personalità, anche quando lo prendevano in giro o bullizzavano per questa cosa, lui si faceva grande e dava importanza dicendo "eh sì ma io so anche le canzoni in ligure". Per un periodo sapeva più il dialetto ligure che napoletano, cue altre prese in giro.

A 17 anni si è innamorato de "Il bombarolo" e ha passato una forte fase anarchica. "Valzer per un amore" lo fa diventare nostalgico per un tempo e una relazione mai passata, e anche "Canzone dell'amore perduto". "Inverno" lo fa piangere a singhiozzo così come "Preghiera in Gennaio".

Ha dedicato non ironicamente "Carlo Martello ritorna dalla guerra" ad Aegon (questo perché io costantemente penso a quali canzoni di de André associare ai personaggi e questa è la canzone di Aegon, nessuno può cambiare la mia mente).

La cosa più vicina alla religione che contempla è l'album la Buona Novella, Alicent è contenta così. A win is a win.

Helaena ovviamente è fan di Franco Battiato, suo padre spirituale e penso che lei avrebbe amato conversare con lui perché sarebbe stato uno dei pochi sulla sua lunghezza d'onda. I mean, secondo me sarebbe stato bellissimo parlare con una persona del genere su concetti come anima, universo e tutto il resto.

Helaena ha stampato un santino con la faccia di Battiato e l'ha nascosto in camera di Alicent, lei ancora non l'ha trovato. Urlerà molto quando succederà. Conosce le canzoni back to back, ritornelli inclusi e conosce tutte le reference che sembrano buttate a caso (monaci vestiti da bonzi alla corte degli imperatori a quanto pare è basato su fatti storici, io stupita dalla sua cultura!!)

E anche le cose che non hanno apparentemente spiegazione? Helaena annuisce e ha capito. Lei sa, basta.

Canzone preferita di de André: "Un matto". Non la ascolta spesso però perché la deprime. Ovviamente dopo tutto quel tempo a Bolo, Dalla è d'obbligo e sa di casa. Ama le luminarie con le sue canzoni ♥️

Aegon è un grandissimo eclettico, come anche i fratelli ma lui all'ennesima potenza. Ama Liberato ofc, dedica le canzoni alla povera sfortunata di turno. Però ai concerti la parte preferita è quando Liberato inizia "do re mi fa..." Alicent scandalizzata quando ha visto il video.

Gli piace anche Vasco e Zucchero - gli piace anche de André ma non lo ammetterà davanti ad Aemond. Ascolta anche i trapper del momento per darsi un tono con i suoi amici. Alicent scuote la testa perché non ha ascoltato musica classica di continuo durante la gravidanza per farlo uscire così.

Fannissimo dei Rolling Stones e dei Queen, grande desiderio viaggiare nel tempo e vedere Freddie Mercury dal vivo. (Lo comprendo.) E anche di Lady Gaga, ma non lo ammetterà mai ad Helaena che è stata la prima monster in casa.

Daeron,,, Daeron è complesso. Lui ha avuto un sacco di influenze dai fratelli ma è anche un grandissimo nerd e ama i Beatles, da piccolo lo ascoltava cantando in un falso inglese e saltando sul letto. Fa un'ottima imitazione di Massimo Ranieri. Ovviamente ascolta i Måneskin e ha modellato il suo look su di loro. Ha una crush per Mengoni. I suoi album preferiti di Taylor Swift sono Midnights e Lover.

[freddie-mercury-rising]

Day 26: Now I’m Here from Sheer Heart Attack

Now we’re onto the B side of Sheer Heart Attack. So, picture it’s the mid-1970s and you’re turning your vinyl over, placing the needle down and waiting for that crackly sound to start, followed by the notes of your favorite band. Life is good! 

Listening now, you can appreciate the stereo effects of this song, as Freddie sings delicately in your left ear: “Now I’m here,” and then your right: “Now I’m here.” This is such a pumped up song. Really, it has all the elements of a pure banger. No wonder they used this to start so many of their sets thereafter. And no wonder it was performed live at virtually every concert for the next decade. 

They made use of the stereo element even on stage, confusing the audience as to where Freddie was actually standing while singing “Now I’m here” into the darkness, before the whole stage lit up. From Wikipedia: On the Sheer Heart Attack Tour, Mercury would be seen singing the line "Now I'm here" on one side of the stage amidst the darkness and dry ice, and a few bars later, at "Now I'm there," he would "appear" on the other side of the stage, an illusion created by an identically-dressed stagehand. (Imagine being the sound guy being asked to wear a replica of one of his skin tight leotards and act as his body double. Some people have all the luck!)

This song builds up, and what a great way to start the second half of the album. 

“I’m just a…” (Cue the drums) “Just a new man….yes you made me live again!” 

Shit, I can’t count the times I’ve just belted that intro and then rocked out to the music that follows. 

I dig the way the song is written in the second-person (by none other than our boy B. May), speaking to some unknown person. It was written while Brian was hospitalized and supposedly recalls Queen’s humble beginnings supporting Mott the Hoople (hence the “down in the city just Hoople and me”). I love how Brian’s songwriting modes are: soft, folksy romance and angst OR hard, sexual, no-fucks-given rock and roll. 

So many rumors surround this song! Especially the allusion to “Down in the dungeon just Peaches and me”. Now, this is all speculation (or maybe not, don’t kill me) but supposedly The Dungeon was a bar in the French Quarter of New Orleans and Peaches was a gal that Brian met there and had a thing for (or a thing with). According to some Internet sources, that woman’s real name is Deborah Vidacovich. Anyway, that’s neither here nor there, but it’s very interesting nonetheless. 

I love the “Yeah!” right before the second verse. 

“Your matches still light up the sky…and many a tear lives on in my eyeee” (love how Freddie does his voice. This is such a reminiscing song. I feel like this is them just jaw-jacking about their early days in rock and finding themselves as a band. 

It’s great that it goes back to that “now I’m here” echoing before they rock out just one more time to finish the song out. 

OH, OH, OH, one of my favorite bits to this song is “Go, go, go little queenie!” Supposedly, it’s a nod to Chuck Berry. Anyway, I swear that’s such an iconic little addition to the end of a fabulous song. 

[nelson-riddle-me-this]

Any new favourites in music, movies etc. from the past year?

MUSIC

10 of my faves, in no particular order...

Ginger Root who I got into thanks to my friend @clownpsycho100

Count Basie's "Swing Shift"

"Secrets (Your Fire)" by Magdalena Bay [i listen to hip music too]

this disco recording Cab Calloway made of "Minnie The Moocher"

this rec. of "Something's Gotta Give" from Daddy Long Legs (1955) with 'slurping' saxes in the Billy May style [mighta been arr'd by him, I'm not sure]

this cue from Quincy Jones' score to The Slender Thread (1965) which has been my wakeup alarm for most of the year

Lizzo's "Coldplay"

"Again And Again" - The Bird And The Bee

"When You Love" - Sinead O'Connor

"C'est Si Bon" - Jane Morgan

MOVIES

Guillermo Del Toro's Pinocchio (2022) is really excellent [be prepared to cry]

Glass Onion (2022) is a blast, I've seen it twice now and I'm glad I caught it in theaters during its initial limited engagement.

Spielberg's The Fabelmans (2022) really got into my brain. I'm sure lots of people would find it tiresome, but the whole mid-century coming-of-age and passion for film thing is very up my alley.

saw The Slender Thread (1965) at the 2022 TCM classic film festival and really loved it

watched Athena (1954) for my birthday with @sailor-freddie-mercury - the movie was better than I expected and not bad as lesser MGM musicals go

VIDEO GAMES

Psychonauts 2 (2021)

Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic (2003)

Mafia III (2016)

Grim Fandango (1998)

the 2018 remake/remaster of Spyro The Dragon (1998)

[laurexlawnn]

I was once flying down a highway, middle of the night, no ambient light except for the clock above my cassette player and the moon, and a lightning storm descended.

Cue me with my windows down in the storm and my radio blasting (of course) when the radio switches to Bohemian Rhapsody.

I'm suddenly struck with such a sense of deja vu, and I guarantee some greater power was staring at me, in my black '97 Honda Prelude, screaming over the top of Freddie Mercury in the dead of the night pushing 90mph in that storm.

Stuck in traffic drinking black coffee. Just when I think "this is so good omens coded" Queen starts playing on the radio

[bijouxcarys]

𝐏𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐧' 𝐆𝐮𝐲 - 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐄𝐍

Masterlist

“𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐟𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐚 𝐤𝐞𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐮𝐩 𝐢𝐬 𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐤,” 𝐈 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐝, 𝐰𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐄𝐦𝐦𝐚 𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐚𝐭.

“It’s not, it’s good! You don’t have to eat it.”

“Yeah, but it’ll be near the chips, and that’s not democratically friendly,” I pouted.

“There’s a reason you failed in politics, Maria,” she shook her head, heading to get her ketchup.

This was the downside of being broke—we had to share chips for lunch. I’d pay one day, she would pay the next.

The chips that day were exceptionally crispy, and I remember because everything seemed to be going my way. The lecture was decent, meaning Professor Ross didn’t drone on about his favourite thinkers for an entire hour and a half. We also got the full scoop from Cameron about how things were going with Marcy. Apparently, they were going more than fine, which brought immense joy to Emma. She was quite the little matchmaker when she wasn’t desperate for a shag.

I had managed to push aside most of the Roger and Patty drama and gradually came to the realisation that Brian and Freddie were absolutely right about his inclinations. He just couldn’t help it. Besides, I saw how happy he made Emma, and that was all that mattered to me. If she didn’t know, she couldn’t get hurt.

As if on cue, guess who plonked down across the table from me? Yes, you guessed correctly. Roger, the blonde drummer, flashed me a grin before shifting his gaze to eye Emma from across the cafeteria.

“For someone who’s just dropped out of uni, you sure do spend a lot of time here,” I remarked, popping a chip into my mouth and feigning interest in my notebook.

“Well, when you have a bird, you have to be there with her when you can. It’s called loyalty, Maria,” Roger replied, his eyes still fixated on Emma. I couldn’t help but scoff under my breath—it wasn’t intentional, I swear. Roger looked slightly confused and mildly offended at my reaction. But before he could question me, Emma sat down between us, holding a small pot of ketchup in her hand.

“Hiya!” Emma squealed, falling into Roger’s arms. He responded by wrapping his arm around her, and before we knew it, they were caught up in a passionate kiss—way to intimate for the middle of the cafeteria. Feeling slightly awkward, I focused my attention on the notes in front of me.

“Honestly, darlings, get a room. The whole world doesn’t need to be subjected to… this,” Freddie remarked, gesturing to the scene ahead before joining the table across from me. He flashed me a knowing smile, clearly understanding my discomfort. “Hello, darling, how’s your day going?”

With a stifled giggle, I glanced at Emma and Roger. “Yeah, I’m great.” I emphasised the word ‘great’ and then turned my attention back to Freddie. “How about you, Fred?”

“I’ve spent the morning designing and coming up with ideas that nobody else has even been able to muster up. How do you think I am?” he replied with a playful tone.

“Oh!” I squealed in slight excitement, sliding over to sit right next to me. “Let me see!”

“Calm down, darling, I’m not the next Givenchy… yet.” Freddie chuckled, sliding his folder over in front of me.

Grinning, I eagerly flipped open the folder, allowing my eyes to soak up the masterpieces that were fragments of Freddie Mercury’s mind. My gaze stopped on an outfit he had sketched up, but Freddie swiftly tried to turn the page over. I caught his wrist, preventing him from hiding it.

“Why don’t you want me to look at that?” I asked, both of us trying to stop each other from doing what the other wanted. I held onto his wrist, attempting to keep it away from the folder as I leaned closer to get a better view.

“Maria, it’s just a silly idea—”

“Oh, shut up! When has any idea you’ve ever had been a bad one, Farrokh?” I retorted.

“Call me that again, and I’ll tell Brian about the sexy dreams you have about him.”

“Fuck—just let me look at the drawing, Fred!”

“Fine!”

He finally gave in, pulling away from the folder and allowing me to have a good look.

“Fred… this is so cool.” I brought the folder up closer to my face, inspecting the details. It wasn’t as polished as his other sketches that I had seen here and there throughout my time of knowing him, but it was clear enough to notice the unconventional sleeves that resembled a mix of a poncho and bird feathers. It was flamboyant, bold, and undeniably Freddie.

“It was just an idea I had when I finished everything… I thought it would make a great costume for onstage,” Freddie explained, his eyes gleaming with excitement.

“You thought right. It’s so cool. Don’t throw that away or anything. Keep it,” I said, beaming warmly at Freddie. It was rare to see him so hesitant about one of his ideas; he was usually calm and confident in his thoughts.

“Why, thank you, darling.” He flashed a toothy grin at me, slowly closing the folder, the smile still lingering on his face.

“Rog, you should thank Maria,” Emma chimed in, her lips now free from Roger’s. He seemed slightly lost for a moment for a moment but managed to tear his gaze away from Emma.

“Oh yeah, thanks,” he mumbled, turning back to Emma. However, she scooted away from him, folding her arms.

“Um, without Maria, you wouldn’t be getting a chance to record jack shit. So be nice and say thank you to her before I slap you round the face.”

“I quite like the sound of tha—”

“Roger Meadows Taylor, don’t push me.”

“Sorry, ma’am,” Roger pouted, making Emma roll her eyes. He then fully spun in his seat to face me and Freddie. “Thank you, Maria. It honestly means a lot.” It was the first genuine smile he had ever directed at me, filled with gratitude.

“You’re welcome,” I replied, attempting to sound polite but unintentionally mocking his Southern mannerisms. This earned me a raised eyebrow from Roger.

“I still don’t know how we’re going to pay for a fucking session in Trident, but you know…” Roger mumbled, his attention returning to Emma.

“Oh, we have a very simple solution for that, Blondie,” Freddie interjected, winking at me as I slid back to my original spot in front of my notes.

“Hm, what’s that?”

“Sell your car, lovie,” Freddie slapped Roger on the back.

I bit both of my lips in anticipation, my eyes darting over to Roger.

“Okay,” Roger replied nonchalantly.

Freddie’s jaw dropped, leaning closer to the drummer. “Excuse me?”

“I said okay…” Roger glanced over his shoulder. “Did I stutter?”

I looked at Freddie, shock evident in my widened eyes. “Roger, we’re asking you to sell your car.”

“And I said okay,” Roger reiterated, his eyebrows scrunched up as he looked at me this time.

I turned to Emma, expecting her to be taken aback by Roger’s agreement to give up his seemingly most prized possession—apart from her. However, she appeared completely unphased.

“I feel like I’m in an episode of the fucking Twilight Zone. What’s happening right now?” I exclaimed, glancing over at Freddie for some semblance of understanding.

“Who’s in an episode of the Twilight Zone?” a familiar voice chimed in from behind me. I instantly recognised Brian’s voice. His hand gently brushed against my shoulder as he took a seat beside me, placing his tray on the table next to my notes. I couldn’t help but glance at his lunch—a simple combination of cheese and lettuce sandwiched between two thick slices of brown bread.

“Roger has agreed to sell his car,” Freddie announced, leaning forward on the table.

Brian chuckled under his breath, taking a sip from his water bottle. “Looks like you’ve finally pulled your dick out of the exhaust pipe and decided to focus on what actually matters, hm?”

I widened my eyes in surprise at Brian’s response, turning my head to look at him. The other three seemed equally taken aback by his words. Brian quickly stole a glance at me, setting his bottle back on the table. My gaze followed the bottle’s descent, hitting the table with a soft thud.

“Does that mean it’s about time you take your dick out from between the star dust pages of your astronomy porn?” Roger fired back, tightening his grip around Emma.

“Ladies, please,” Freddie interjected, raising his teacup to his lips. “Let’s not kill each other before we even get the chance to do anything with my talents.” He winked at me, lightening the tense atmosphere.

“Yes, because we are the vehicle for your talents to ride on, right Fred?” Roger retorted, raising an eyebrow.

Brian sighed, picking up his sandwich as Roger and Freddie continued their bickering, sounding like an old married couple.

“What’s wrong?” I whispered to Brian, turning on the bench to face him directly.

Brian turned his head, resting on his hand as if trying to shield himself from the commotion happening across the table. I watched as he chewed on his sandwich, his jaw moving up and down. He placed it back o the tray and shook his head.

“I’m just… stressed,” he admitted, pressing his lips together tightly. “That’s all. You don’t need to worry.” He extended his free hand, placing it gently on top of mine, his thumb tracing soothing circles on the back of my hand.

I knew he could sense that my worry wouldn’t easily dissipate. I didn’t need to say anything for him to understand.

“Seriously, Maria. I’m fine. Same thing as this morning, it’s just… a lot right now,” he spoke softly, his voice barely audible over the chaos caused by Roger and Freddie. While I knew offering the same generic words of comfort wouldn’t make much of a difference in this chaotic environment, I simply nodded my head and smiled in response.

“You got much else left to do today?” I spoke softly, my gaze fixed on our intertwined hands.

“A lecture. And I have to attend it, before you try and convince me otherwise.” Brian flashed a mischievous grin, his pointed teeth peeking through.

I rolled my eyes playfully, nudging him with my arm. “Excuse me, I have a lecture too.” I pretended to look offended, pulling my hand away from his. He pouted and leaned closer, wrapping his arms around my waist. For a moment, I thought he was going to give me a comforting hug, but to my surprise, his fingers found their way to my sides, tickling me relentlessly.

Now, those who know me are well aware that I absolutely despise being tickled. It has always been that way. So, when Brian’s fingers dug into my most ticklish spots, a burst of uncontrollable laughter escaped my lips. Brian didn’t let up; he continued to tickle me, enjoying my adorable torture.

“Brian! Stop!” I gasped between fits of laughter, attempting to free myself from his relentless grip.

I glanced over at Freddie, hoping to catch his attention and signal for help, but he was too engrossed in his argument with Roger to notice my distress just inches away.

“You might want to watch that attitude, Blondie. I heard John Reid is in town,” Freddie told Roger as Brian’s fingers still danced over my sides.

What? John Reid?

“And if he sees us in Trident arguing like a pair of ladies, we’ll get nowhere,” Freddie continued, an amused glint in his eyes.

Fuck.

“Brian, stop!” I yelled, nearly attracting the attention of everyone in the cafeteria. I managed to wriggle out of his grasp, smacking my hand on the table in front of me to emphasise my plea. Finally, Freddie’s gaze tore away from his dispute with Roger, fixing upon me.

“Did you say John fucking Reid?!” I blurted out, unable to contain my excitement and surprise.

“Yes, darling, I did,” Freddie replied, a tinge of confusion in his voice. “You know of him?”

“Know of him? She’s been up his arse since September,” Emma chimed in, rolling her eyes. However, her casual remark failed to convey the depth of my admiration for John Reid. Realising this, she elaborated, “She’s been studying him for her second-year project, and she absolutely adores the man.”

Embarrassment flushed through my cheeks as their attention focused on me. I cast my eyes downward, my notes in front of me adorned with an array of facts and timelines about John Reid’s illustrious career.

“But I thought you didn’t particularly enjoy the subject. Yet, you seem so invested in it,” Roger interjected, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, yes, the course may not be exactly my favourite thing in the world, but John Reid is so fascinating. Besides, I love the industry, and—”

“Maria, my love, you don’t have to explain yourself,” Brian said, shooting a disapproving look at Roger. “Roger just needs to argue with someone 24/7.” He tore his gaze away from Roger and focused on me. “I think it’s wonderful that you’re so passionate about your work, especially if it aligns with what you’re supposed to be doing for your work experience…” He leaned in, his tone slightly threatening in a playful way. Why did I find that so enticing? Why did I enjoy his towering presence over me? Fuck…

I couldn’t help but let out a shaky breath, a smirk dancing on my lips. In that moment, I completely forgot that Roger, Freddie, and Emma were sitting just inches away from us. I was completely lost in Brian’s eyes.

My gaze dropped to his lips as he smiled softly, leaning closer and planting a teasingly gentle kiss on my lips before pulling away and redirecting his attention to the others.

I’m almost certain that Brian knew exactly what he was doing when he shifted his focus away from me—I was a mess. It always embarrassed me how easily Brian’s charm and good looks could leave me flustered. I was just so… inexperienced.

The remaining minutes of lunch slipped away, and throughout it all, Brian continued to play with my fingers, offering me comfort and a sense of being cherished—simple gestures like holding hands could send me into a whirlwind of gratitude for the affection I received. A feeling of closeness was the key to my heart.

He even gave me butterflies when he casually removed his ring from my index finger and slipped it onto his pinkie, the cool metal leaving a lingering sensation on my skin.

When it was time for Emma and me to head to our lecture, I stood behind Brian, wrapping my arms tightly around him in a lingering hug, as if I would never see him again. His fluffy hair tickled my face as he leaned into my embrace.

“I guess there’s no need for me to come over later now that you’ve reclaimed what’s yours,” I murmured, a playful hint in my voice. I heard Brian chuckle softly, tilting his head to the side and looking up at me.

“Don’t you want to spend time with your boyfriend?” He raised an eyebrow, knowing full well that I loved it when he playfully referred to himself as my boyfriend, no matter how juvenile it sounded. But deep down, I could sense that he took my teasing to heart in the sweetest way possible—bless him.

“Bri, I’m just messing. I’m still going to come over. If you still want me to, that is…” I playfully said, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Of course, I want you to, silly. I’ve been looking forward to it all day,” he replied, giving me those irresistible puppy dog eyes that made my heart melt even more.

I couldn’t help but giggle and shake my head, leaning in closer to him. “You’re just too cute.” I pressed my lips against his in a longer, more lingering kiss before finally pulling away. As I turned to leave, I couldn’t help but notice the mischievous smirks on the faces of the other three—they were eagerly waiting for the moment Brian and I would finally get together and become that couple we always talked about.

“Come on, Emma. You’ll see Roger later,” I sighed, nudging her gently as they seemed completely absorbed in each other yet again. She gave Roger an affectionate hug before leaving with me.

“Isn’t Roger just the sweetest?” Emma chirped as we turned the corner, out of sight from the bustling cafeteria.

I couldn’t bring myself to lie, but I couldn’t reveal the truth either. All I could do was giggle and shake my head, a mix of conflicting emotions swirling within me. Little did she know that when I shook my head, it was because I genuinely didn’t know how to answer.

I felt a twinge of guilt. A nagging sense that I should set things right. But everything felt so great in that moment, and I didn’t want to spoil it. Sometimes, you get caught up in the whirlwind of emotions, and decisions are made without thinking of the consequences.

Things just happen, I thought to myself, hoping that everything would somehow work out for the best.

“I always thought that Roger would be the less educated one,” I murmured to Brian. He smirked, glancing over at the doorway to the living room where Freddie and Roger were engrossed in a game of Scrabble. Normally, Brian would join them, but since he had me as his company, he chose to be the true gentleman he was and stay by my side.

“They’re always at each other’s throats over that game. It’s a rare occasion when only one of us is the reigning champion. I tend to come up with some very long words,” he grinned, turning to put the kettle on the stove. “They’re just lucky I’m not playing.”

“I used to play Scrabble with my brother when we were younger,” I began, watching as Brian expertly prepared my coffee and his tea. “It was a bit challenging, to be honest.”

Brian raised an eyebrow. “It’s not that difficult of a game, Maria.”

“It was only difficult because my dog ate the O’s and the Y’s,” I laughed. “The number of times I got scolded for using the world ‘count’ without the O…”

Brian laughed, shaking his head. “I didn’t know you had a dog.”

“I don’t… We had to put her down. She had some nasty wounds from the neighbour’s dog when he attacked her,” I shrugged. The truth was, I didn’t recall much from that time. I was sixteen then, and by that point, I didn’t pay much attention to what was happening around me. Things had just started to go downhill, and I wasn’t accustomed to such a drastic change.

Leaning against the counter, Brian looked thoughtful, and the kettle started to rattle slightly. “Well, I’m sorry to hear that… That’s the thing about pets. They don’t live forever,” he frowned.

“I guess they don’t. But at least you still have pictures and memories,” I replied.

Brian smiled softly, his gaze fixed on me. “You’re so optimistic… sometimes.”

I chuckled, playfully nudging his arm. “I’m probably one of the most pessimistic people you’ll ever meet. You’re the optimist out of the two of us! You work so hard all the time and still manage to be nice to everyone around you. That’s talent.”

“Talent!” I heard a voice from the living room. “Damn it, I didn’t mean to say it out loud!”

I turned my head to find Roger banging his head on his hands, while Freddie wore a smug expression, clearly having spelled out the word ‘talent’ on the Scrabble board.

When I looked back at Brian, he was pouring the boiling water into the mugs. “Do you want to go upstairs? It might be quieter,” he suggested softly, picking up both mugs. I nodded in agreement, reaching out for the coffee mug, but Brian playfully pulled it away from my grasp. “I’ve got it,” he insisted, gesturing for me to walk ahead of me.

“I am perfectly capable of carrying a mug of coffee myself,” I protested, making my way through the living room where Freddie and Roger served as a comical obstacle course.

“Yes, but I don’t want you to spill it and burn yourself,” Brian stated matter-of-factly. I huffed, trudging into the hallway.

“I’m not a child,” I sulked, stepping aside to let Brian go upstairs first.

“Care to explain that look on your face then?” he smirked at me, shimmying past me and making his way up the stairs. I glanced over at Roger and Freddie, who were snickering to themselves, probably amused by the playful banger between Brian and me.

Brian’s room was a comfortable blend of normality—neither too extravagant nor too minimalistic. Poster adorned the walls featuring icons like The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, Little Richard, Jimi Hendrix, Conway Twitty. Books lay scattered around, their pages undoubtedly filled with astrophysics and other subjects beyond my intellectual reach.

I found myself standing awkwardly in the middle of Brian’s room, my hands fidgeting nervously. He placed the two mugs on the desk in the corner, turning around to meet my gaze. He folded his arms and looked away, the air thick with unease. The distant sound of Roger and Freddie’s bickering downstairs was the only noise breaking the silence.

“Um… Do you want me to close the door?” I managed to say, my mouth suddenly dry.

“Yeah… Yeah, that’d be good,” he replied with an awkward smile, observing me as I made my way to his bedroom door. Gently, I closed it, shutting out the noise from downstairs as it faded into the background.

When I turned around, Brian had settled on his bed, casually leaning back on his hands. He smiled at me, assuring me it was alright to join him. So, I gingerly sat down, letting myself sink into the comfort of the mattress. Brian handed me my coffee, which had cooled down enough to drink. As I took a sip, I noticed him shaking his head out of the corner of my eye.

I glanced at him, scrunching my eyebrows. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know how you can drink that all the time. I’ve never seen you drink anything other than pure black coffee,” he said, leaning back against the headrest.

“It’s nice, and it keeps me awake and alert,” I defended myself, smiling as I took another sip.

“You’re right. I must be a pretty boring person to be around if you need caffeine to stay awake,” he replied with a hint of self-deprecation.

I furrowed my brows, looking directly at the curly-haired guitarist sitting just a metre away from me. “Shut up, Brian, you’re not boring. Not to me, anyway.”

“I’m not?” He raised an eyebrow, tilting his head to the side.

“No,” I laughed, shuffling closer to him. “And who cares what other people think about you? All that matters is that you have strong people around you who remind you that you’re not boring and that you’re an incredible person. And if they’re not doing that, then they can just fuck off,” I shrugged, getting up to place the now half-full mug back on Brian’s desk.

He didn’t directly respond to what I had just said. Instead, he blushed, his cheeks practically glowing with embarrassment, a reaction I had become accustomed to whenever someone complimented him. As I walked back to the bed, I contemplated whether to sit closer to him. But I didn’t have to contemplate for long, as his long arms wrapped around me, pulling me down into the bed right next to him.

“You’re lucky I didn’t have that mug in my hand,” I chuckled, shuffling onto my back to get comfortable, my arm brushing against Brian’s.

We lay on our backs, gazing up at the plain, boring, white ceiling. In those moments, time seemed to slow down, and I allowed myself to sink into deep thoughts about my life. Despite the lack of money and a stable income, I realised how incredibly fortunate I was. I had remarkable people surrounding me, and I felt safe and secure. It was a feeling I had never experienced back home. And above all, Brian cared for me. I knew that without a doubt. He would do anything to make me happy, and he never failed to remind me of that.

The radio filled the almost silent room with a soft static noise as Brian turned it on. The background noise provided a sense of comfort. His hand sought mine, intertwining our fingers. “Maria?” he hummed, his voice gentle.

I squeezed his hand, giving him my full attention. “Yeah?”

“It’s entirely fine if you don’t want to talk about it, but… Why do you… do that to yourself?” Brian stumbled over his words, his thumb caressing my skin. I understood what he was referring to, and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to open about it, to be so vulnerable.

But then I thought about the preciousness of the moment, the rare opportunity to be truly alone with Brian. I took a deep breath and turned my head to face him, taking in the beautiful contours of his profile.

“I wasn’t very happy growing up,” I began, my voice carrying the weight of my past. “It all started with my dad. We never had the kind of relationship I longed for. He was absent most of the time, and we never saw eye to eye on anything. We were complete opposites. My mum was the one working while my dad stayed home. So, I didn’t get to spend much time with her either. I don’t blame her, though. She had to provide for the family because my dad was too lazy to do anything.” A faint chuckle escaped Brian’s lips as he listened intently. “But eventually, my dad did manage to invest in some properties in Leeds, and now he owns most of the farmlands.” I shrugged.

“School was supposed to be my escape, but it wasn’t much better. I was constantly bullied for my weight, and the fact that I liked different things to everyone else. I felt completely alone as a child, and I couldn’t understand why it was happening, or why I couldn’t seem to form friendships with anyone. I had no one to be angry at,” I trailed off, my gaze returning to the ceiling.

“And so, I turned that anger inward… And I took it out on myself,” I whispered, feeling tears welling up in my eyes. “Things didn’t improve much after that. I was, like, fourteen, I think. It’s only gotten worse since then. I hardly have a relationship with my parents now. They want me to be a successful, fashionable businesswoman, but… I don’t want to do something just because someone else expects it of me.” I glanced at Brian, who was staring blankly at the ceiling.

“I’m rambling, right?” I whispered.

“No. Not at all,” he whispered back. “I was the one who asked, and I was genuinely curious. You’re a strong and brave woman,” he said, turning onto his side to face me, his upper body sightly leaning over mine. “And I adore that about you.”

A blush crept up my cheeks, a mix of vulnerability and power surging through me in his presence. This man had an incredible effect on me, and he wasn’t even aware of it.

I let out a contented sigh, my gaze fixed on his captivating hazel eyes. The world around us faded away as we shared an intimate connection, my heart pulsating with a profound sense of tranquillity. It was truly a beautiful moment.

However, the enchantment was momentarily shattered when the opening notes of a different song, “Let’s Spend the Night Together” by The Rolling Stones, began to play through the radio speakers. The softness in our eyes transformed into amusement, and we both erupted into laughter at the perfect timing. I cackled, trying to catch my breath as Brian buried his head in the pillow beside me, his body wriggling with laughter.

“You absolutely did that on purpose,” I managed to gasp out, clutching my stomach.

“How? I’m all the way over here!” Brian protested, his voice slightly muffled by the pillow. He lifted his head and rested it next to mine, his warm breath brushing against my cheek.

After a few seconds of the song playing, Brian pressed his lips to my ear and began to sing in a deep, melodramatic voice, clearly aiming to be funny.

“Don’t you worry ‘bout what’s on your mind…”

I giggled, the sensation of his breath tickling my ear and his hair gently grazing my skin.

“I’m in no hurry, I can take my time…” he continued, deepening his voice even more, his intent to bring humour into the moment. But unexpectedly, my stomach flipped as he hit an uncharacteristically low bass note. My laughter subsided, and I swallowed hard.

“Brian…” I attempted to dismiss it as a joke. “You’re lying on my hair…” I whined, rolling onto my side, my back turned to Brian’s chest. If he couldn’t see that every little thing that he did affected me, then I would pretend that it didn’t.

However, my wish for the awkwardness to dissipate went unanswered as I felt Brian’s chest press against my back, his arm reaching over to find my hand next to my face. His fingertips lightly stroked the back of my hand, tracing a path down my arm. The sensation was comforting, sending countless sparks cascading down my spine.

Before I could fully grasp the situation, his lips returned to my ear. This time, he sang in his usual soothing tone, devoid of any humorous intentions.

“I’m going red, and my tongue’s getting tied…”

I remained perfectly still as he planted feather-light kisses on my ear, his head nestled close to mine, enveloping me in his embrace. I sighed with contentment as Brian began to sway us gently back and forth.

“Can I ask you something, love?” he murmured.

“You can ask me anything,” I breathed out.

“You’ve… never done anything before, have you?” he speculated.

“Wow, straight to the point…” I joked. “If you’re trying to ask me if I’m a virgin, then… y-yeah, I am.” I admitted, an embarrassed flush rushing to my cheeks, my tone treating back to the shyness I had when I first met the boys.

Instead of responding, Brian leaned down and pressed a sweet and innocent kiss to my cheek, his lips lingering against my skin. “I wish I could truly show you how much you mean to me.”

I furrowed my eyebrows, stealing a glance at him. “I thought you already do that?”

He chuckled, sending shivers down my spine. “I do… But I want to show you in a way that will make you feel good and… loved.”

Oh, I knew exactly where he was heading, that charming space boy.

“Oh?” I managed to stutter out, feeling his lips trail down my cheek and to my jaw.

“We don’t have to do anything, love. I’m perfectly content with just cuddling,” Brian reassured me, looking up into my eyes.

“I want to, Brian… I really do. I’m just a bit scared,” I whispered, studying his face intently. “I don’t want it to hurt…” I started. “A-and… I don’t want you to be put off by me once you see… everything.” I turned my eyes away sheepishly.

His gaze softened, and he gently guided me onto my back, his form now fully hovering over me. “Maria Brennan, I think you are a breathtakingly beautiful person, inside and out. And all I want is to share the overwhelming feelings I have every time I see you enter a room, hear you laugh, or listen to your voice,” he whispered, his lips grazing over my nose. “As for it hurting… I can’t promise you it won’t. But I can promise that it won’t all the time. I’m here with you. And if you can’t handle it, and you need me to stop, I will. I won’t let anything hurt you, my darling.”

With those words, he dipped down and captured my lips in a passionate kiss, igniting sparks that danced all over my body. I lifted my hand and entwined my fingers in his hair, pulling him closer to me to let him know I did want this and that I was willing to try. He deepened the kiss in response, allowing his tongue to explore my mouth.

Brian continued to kiss me as I adjusted to this new level of intimacy, his tongue exploring new sensations that drove me wild. His hand journeyed from my cheek to my shoulder, his fingertips tracing patterns on my skin. Goosebumps erupted across my body as his hand purposefully grazed over my chest. I closed my eyes as Brian’s kisses trailed down from my lips to my neck, savouring the gentleness of his touch. He sighed against my skin, seemingly relishing the closeness between us. I bit down on my lower lip when I felt his teeth graze the sensitive flesh of my neck, his suction growing progressively stronger. A shaky breath escaped me as he did this, the sensation unlike anything I had ever experienced. I almost felt a tinge of embarrassment at how much I enjoyed the feeling of him marking me as his own, even though he had barely done anything, yet I could already be a quivering mess beneath him. So, I restrained myself, biting down on my lips to regain composure. However, Brian must have noticed because he pulled back from my neck, his voice a soft whisper against my skin.

“If something feels good, don’t hesitate to let me know,” he whispered, a smile evident in his voice, before shifting his head to the other side of my neck, repeating the same tantalising motions.

He lifted his head completely, gazing down at the marks he had left on my skin, a satisfied smile playing on his lips. Slowly, he leaned back, rising up and sitting on his feet. His eyes roamed over my figure, sprawled before him. Locking his gaze with mine, he placed his hands on my knees, parting them to settle himself between them. It felt strange yet exhilarating to have someone so close, his groin pressing against my most sensitive area.

Moistening my dry lips, I peered up at Brian, his eyes now filled with a burning desire. He pulled me up, so I was sitting, my legs still wrapped around him. His hands slid down to the collar of my denim jacket, holding onto it.

“Can I…?” he began, seeking my approval. I nodded, allowing him to push the jacket off my shoulders, letting it drop to the floor beside the bed.

“Brian?” I glanced down at his attire, admiring how snug his shirt fit him. “My mum is… very domineering and… protective. What should I tell her if she asks what I’ve been doing?” I naïvely asked.

A smile graced his lips as his calloused fingers came up to cradle my face. I leaned into his touch.

“You’re twenty-two years old, Maria. Your mother has no right to know what you’ve been doing,” he said, smirking slightly as he leaned closer. “Or who you’ve been doing.” The playful remark lightened the mood, causing me to giggle. “Just forget about her, my love.”

And with that, his lips were once again on mine. And I did just as he said – I let thoughts of my mum slip from my mind as Brian’s hands moved lower, fumbling with the buttons on my flares. I arched my hips upward, making it easier for him to remove the fabric, which joined my jacket on the floor. The absence of my trouser allowed my shirt to hang loosely, now untucked. His eyes never wavered from mine as he reached down and unbuttoned his own trousers. He discarded his shirt, revealing his upper body; the slimness of his frame, clothed or not, remained captivating—his partially exposed ribcage hinted at his fitness. Brian gently guided me back, laying me down. His hands descended to my hips, pulling me toward him before he lowered himself on top of me, our groins meeting in perfect alignment.

I bit down on my lip, the rush of heat spreading across my cheeks. Brian leaned in, his lips meeting mine in a passionate and longing kiss, wasting no time in igniting the passion between us. A soft groan escaped his lips, merging with mine, as I instinctively bucked my hips into his. The realisation that he, too, was affected comforted me—I could let out those sounds too. My hands travelled down his back, feeling the warmth of his bare skin for the first time. I smiled into the kiss, releasing a shaky breath when Brian’s hand slid down my leg, lifting it and holding it in place. Taking this as a cue, he pressed his body against mine, grinding gently at first to ensure my comfort. But when I emitted a small moan, he continued with a heightened sensuality. His own breathing faltered as he broke the kiss, emitting another groan. Halting his movements, he peppered kisses along my chin instead of my lips. His lips ventured lower, using his nimble fingers to unbutton my shirt and reveal my bra. Licking his lips, his gaze traced over my exposed form, before he began placing soft kisses along my chest, leaving marks that only I, and now he, would see.

“You alright?” Brian finally spoke after a prolonged silence, his lips now gliding down my stomach. I was a bit puzzled about his intentions, but seeing the comfort in his eyes reassured me. I nodded, meeting his gaze, which had a soothing effect on me.

“Tell me if it’s too much, okay? I don’t want to pressure you into anything you’re not ready for,” he added, accompanied by a gentle smile. I took a deep breath, diverting my gaze to the ceiling as Brian continued moving lower down my body, instantly evoking memories of a recent dream. This was like that dream, unfolding in real-time. It was happening, and it felt remarkably real.

Brian laid on his stomach, the mattress beneath us, showing his tenderness and placing gentle kisses on my thighs. His arm wrapped around my hips, keeping me settled. With his free hand, he traced the fabric of my underwear, bringing his face closer to my heated centre. As his touch made contact, my hips instinctively bucked upwards again, the fabric growing damp with each passing second. I watched his eyes flicker upward, gauging my response to this newfound intimacy. He wanted me to enjoy myself, never feeling obligated to engage in this with him.

“Can I take them off?” Brian whispered, his breath sending shivers across my soft skin. I looked up at him, my reaction evident. I nodded, my eyes closing. I could sense my nervousness, but he called me gently, capturing my attention. I opened my eyes and lowered my head to meet his gaze.

“Use your words, please,” he said. “Maria, darling.”

“Sorry… Yeah, take them off,” I nervously laughed, my cheeks flushing deeper with colour. Brian smiled at me, flashing a look in his eyes that reassured me of my safety. As my hips lifted, he effortlessly removed my underwear, casually dropping them beside the bed. His eyes hungrily feasted on the sight before him. This was the first time he saw me in my most vulnerable state, and I felt no reservations.

My heart raced as I took in the sight of Brian, the intensity of his gaze making my mouth go dry, leaving me speechless. I could sense my breathing becoming irregular, my body reacting to the desire flowing between us. Brian moved closer, rising onto his knees and crawling towards me, his eyes locked with mine. The emotions flickering in his gaze made it difficult to decipher what he truly felt.

“How are you feeling?” he asked, settling beside me and propping himself up on his elbow, his gaze fixed on my exposed body. I expected to stumble over my words, or offer a hesitant response, but something within me shifted.

“Please… Just touch me, Brian,” I whimpered, my eyebrows furrowing with longing. A mixture of vulnerability and desire surged through me, and my plea seemed to ignite a hunger within him. I watched as his eyebrows lifted, a smile forming on his lips, capturing the electricity in the air.

A shiver coursed through my body as the cool air kissed the delicate space between my legs, a stark contrast to the intense heat and wetness that consumed me. Brian’s gaze bore into my soul, his finger gliding along the slickness, eliciting an involuntary buck of my hips. I watched as his bit his lip, his eyes fixed on the glistening evidence of my arousal.

“You’re so wet…” he murmured, his finger delving between my folds and teasingly grazing over my throbbing clit, which yearned for more. A strangled moan escaped my lips as he circled his finger over the sensitive bud. His eyes locked with mine, his lips close to my ear, his finger quickening its movements, occasionally dipping lower to gather more of my essence.

“Does that feel good, angel?” he whispered against my ear, his words sending waves of pleasure through me. I parted my lips, intending to respond, but all that emerged was another prolonged moan as he added a second finger, doubling the intensity of pleasure. My eyelids fluttered shut, surrendering to the exquisite sensations washing over me.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” he chuckled, his lips trailing along my jawline. “I’m going to put one inside, okay?”

I smiled inwardly, touched by his consideration and attentiveness. As his middle finger descended toward my entrance, he paused, maintaining a gentle pressure. At first, it was a mere sensation of fullness, but swiftly it transformed into a stinging pain as he pushed his finger past my resistance, reaching up to the first knuckle. I clamped down on my lower lip, biting down to stifle any sign of discomfort, not wanting to worry Brian. Yet, it seemed as though he sensed my struggle, as he pressed closer, his lips tenderly kissing my cheek and any reachable spot. Meanwhile, his thumb resumed its seductive dance over my clit, mingling pleasure with the temporary ache.

He remained still for a moment, maintaining that position. The initial pain gradually subsided, intermittently returning as he moved his finger, but the soft whispers and tender touches made it bearable. The room was filled with the sounds of his breath mingling with the raw friction of his finger and my wetness colliding. As promised, the pain transformed into an exquisite pleasure—a fucking sweet pleasure, to put it bluntly.

Before long, my own strained moans erupted from my lips, my head sinking into the plushness of Brian’s pillows. By now, he had inserted his finger almost completely, and I became a cacophony of moans, a tumultuous blend of discomfort and pleasure. It was the knowledge that Brian was the first person I ever let touch me in this way that intensified the experience, amplifying the pleasure to new heights.

“Wow,” he breathed out, his voice thick with desire. “You’re so fucking tight.” He chuckled, burying his face in the crook of my neck, a wicked smile gracing his lips.

An airy laugh escaped me, my heart rate momentarily skyrocketing. “S-sorry… I’m not used… Fuck… people saying stuff like that to me.”

He lifted his head, aligning it with mine, his forehead pressing against mine. “It’s okay,” he began, his gaze fixed on my lips. “I’m not used to saying stuff like that to such beautiful women.” Before I could respond, his lips crashed onto mine, delivering a feverish kiss. A moan and a whimper escaped me simultaneously as he slipped another finger inside, stretching me further. Brian pressed his lips harder against mine, muffling my loud cries and diverting my attention. My back arched as he quickened the pace of digits, a fiery ball of pleasure building within the depths of my stomach.

He finally pulled away, resuming the position with his forehead against mine. “I need to make you cum before… we move on,” he smirked, biting his lip as he observed me.

I would have found his remark incredibly dominant and laughed it off under different circumstances. However, I was consumed by the growing tingles pulsating in my abdomen. My vision blurred as a surge of something overwhelming approached. Now, I’m not foolish—I knew what an orgasm was. But the only times I had experienced it were when I pleasured myself, and even then, it was a rarity, occurring no more than three times in total. Yet this was different. This orgasm was building from within, Brian’s fingers reaching places my own could never reach.

“B-Brian…” I whimpered, gazing into his eyes. My breath became rapid as he continued his ministrations inside me.

“It’s okay, love. I’ve got you,” he assured me, plunging me into oblivion. And with that, my hips thrust into his hand, an intense wave of pleasure washing over my entire being, causing goosebumps to erupt all over my skin. To control my involuntary spasms, Brian pressed his forehead harder against mine, keeping my head anchored. He let out a strained breath as he endeavoured to sustain his movements until I rode out the exhilarating high. My hand instinctively gripped his arm, his muscles contracting forcefully as he matched the rhythm of his actions.

After the initial shock subsided, I gently pushed Brian’s arm away, my breathing gradually returning to a more steady rhythm. I closed my eyes, feeling a slight clenching in my lower muscles as he withdrew his fingers, leaving me with an inexplicable longing. Opening my eyes, I glanced over at Brian, observing as he sensually sucked off the remnants of our passion from his fingers.

My attention was quickly captured when he raised an eyebrow at me in a seductive manner. Perhaps it was his way of calming my nerves after witnessing him begin to wriggle out of his trousers, a tent forming in his underwear. My breath caught in my throat, still recovering from the erratic pattern it had taken before.

“You look completely worn out, love,” he laughed, clearly amused by my exhausted state. “That was just a preview.” He winked, a blush still lingering on his own cheeks.

“Well, I am exhausted!” I exclaimed, wiping my forehead. “I’ve never done that before, so…” I sat up slightly, keeping my gaze fixed on him as he slipped out of his underwear. My stomach tightened with anticipation as I caught sight of what he had concealed from me, springing up and brushing against his stomach.

“As much as I enjoy your admiration, I’d prefer it if you helped me with this,” Brian said shyly, pushing himself back against the headboard. It seemed he had become caught up in his arousal, momentarily forgetting my limited experience. “Oh!” He blushed deeply. “I’m sorry, love… Um… Have you ever…?” he trailed off.

“Um…” I murmured, swallowing hard. “No, I haven’t.” I laughed awkwardly, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear and positioning myself in front of Brian. “I mean, I obviously know what it is and more or less how to do it, but I’ve just never had a chance to do it before.”

Brian grinned, taking my hand and caressing the back of it. “It’s okay, Maria. I can always guide you.”

“Okay.”

For the next fifteen minutes, Brian became my mentor, teaching me the nuances of what he enjoyed and how to prolong the pleasure during oral sex. Needless to say, I found great pleasure in wrapping my lips around his substantial length, savouring the taste of his salty skin.

So there I was, kneeling over Brian’s lap, my mouth filled with him. Brian brought his hand up to my face, sweeping my hair over my shoulder to better see my expression as I took him into my mouth. I looked up at him, batting my eyelashes a little, eliciting a groan from him as he collected the hair in his fist.

“God, yeah, just like that,” he grunted, gazing down at me with his mouth slightly agape. I relished in the praise he bestowed upon me, feeling electric sensations travel down to my core, which was now reawakening with desire, clenching eagerly in anticipation.

A muffled moan escaped my lips as I swirled my tongue around the tip of his cock, my hand tightly gripping the base. The taste of his pre-cum lingered on my tongue, salty and arousing.

Suddenly, I was pulled away from his throbbing member and drawn up to his face. He pressed his lips forcefully against mine, immediately invading my mouth with his tongue. I clutched onto his hair with one hand and grasped his shaft with the other, revelling in the sensations that consumed me.

“Lay down,” he mumbled, his command prompting me to comply. I shifted to his side and lay on my back, anticipation building within me.

“I’ve held this in for so long, Maria,” he confessed, rising onto his knees in front of me and gripping my hips, pulling me closer as my legs bent to accommodate him. I could feel his hardness pressing against my wetness, driving me to the brink of delirium. “To show you how much you mean to me. And how beautiful you are.” His voice lowered to a whisper as he reached over to the beside table, retrieving a drawer positioned just below it. He opened it and extracted a condom.

“And were you expecting this to happen, Mr. Astrophysicist?” I asked playfully, a hint of amusement in my voice.

“No… But you can never been too prepared. There’s always a chance of bringing back an otherworldly Goddess, even if it’s a rarity,” he remarked before resuming his dominant stance. With expert precision, he rolled the condom onto his shaft and returned to his position between my legs. One of his hands ventured downward, holding himself and rubbing his tip against my sensitive area, eliciting a restrained moan from deep within me.

“Please tell me if you want me to stop,” he whispered, receiving a nod of reassurance from me. That was all he needed as he slowly pushed himself inside me, stopping when just the tip was nestled within. I hissed through my teeth, holding my breath in response to the pain inflicted by his generous size.

“I’m sorry, darling,” he uttered in a low voice, nuzzling against me. He understood that there was little he could do to alleviate the pain until he was fully inside, but he could provide comfort as I embarked on the rollercoaster ride of my first time. Planting soothing kisses along my neck, he gradually eased himself deeper, stretching me so exquisitely that my grip on Brian’s skin left marked imprints from the intensity.

Relief washed over me when he was finally fully sheathed inside me. I took a moment to adjust to the sensation as best as I could, and Brian tried to grant me as much time as possible. Yet, his impatience grew, and the need to move became undeniable—for both of us.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart, but I need to move,” he uttered with a mix of humour and an airy moan as he withdrew completely before plunging back into me. “I know it hurts, but the more I move, the less painful it’ll be.” He smiled down at me, placing a tender kiss on my nose, his actions laced with love and concern. “But please… Make sure you tell me if it gets too much.”

Brian’s gentleness towards me contrasted with the palpable desperation that had built up within him. It took an annoyingly long time for me to adjust, allowing him to truly let loose. I knew I would be sore the next day, but that was a small price to pay for the pleasure unfolding before me.

“Shit, Brian,” I exclaimed, torn from my distractions as pain seamlessly transformed into pure ecstasy. Brian’s smile, filled with pride, revealed his teeth as his thrusts transitioned from delicate and careful to ambitiously fervent. The sensation of his long, powerful member pumping in and out of me threatened to send my heart into overdrive, but I felt more alive than ever as his own moans harmonised with mine.

“Wow, you feel fucking amazing,” Brian grunted, supporting himself on his hands placed next to my head. “You’re so tight. I’m so proud of you for taking me so well, love.” He bit his lip, moaning louder. His gaze shifted, drinking in the sight of my body as I whimpered beneath him, my head falling back. Brian secured a hold on my legs, pushing them up slightly. Reaching for a pillow, he slid it under my hips, granting him deeper access. The new position brought him a sense of relief, and I eagerly embraced the heightened sensations that accompanied it.

Rather than simply thrusting into me, his hips snapped with a new intensity, striking a previously unexplored spot within me. The pleasure surged to another level entirely. The raw sounds of our flesh colliding, mingling with the symphony of moans and whimpers escaping our lips, filled the room, becoming the sole audible soundtrack. I silently prayed that Roger and Freddie were preoccupied elsewhere and wouldn’t burst through the door.

“Bri…” I whined once more, my desires vaguely articulated. Did I crave more contact? Brian’s response came in the form of a deep groan as he leaned forward, resting his forehead against mine, locking his gaze with mine.

“What do you want, baby? Tell me,” he entreated, his voice filled with a mix of tenderness and need.

“I… I don’t know,” I stammered, my breath growing irregular. “Fuck, I don’t know, Bri!” My back arched, an instinctive plea for more. I needed more of him.

“You want me to go faster?” he inquired, his voice growing higher in pitch. “Hm? Or do you want me to remind you how gorgeous you look while taking me so well? What is it, Maria?” His sweet voice rendered his explicit words easy to embrace, but it was the praise—the praise that made me writhe in ecstatic bliss.

And Brian, oh, he noticed.

“Ah, that’s it, huh?” he chuckled, planting a sweet kiss on my lips. “You enjoy it when I tell you that you’re the most perfect creature to have ever graced this Earth?” Thrust after thrust, his breathy compliments enveloped me, driving me to the edge of pleasure’s precipice.

I nodded, a whimper of confirmation escaping my lips. Brian’s thrusts quickened with each word that spilled from his intoxicating mouth, his desire to fill me evident in his every movement.

“I’ve wanted to fill you up since our first kiss, you little tease,” he playfully remarked, his pace accelerating. “And right now, all I want is to make you come undone and feel incredible. You deserve it so much… Do you think you can cum for me one more time, angel?”

My legs trembled under the relentless stimulation, and I knew it wouldn’t be long before I surrendered to the impending release.

“Just one more time,” he insisted, lowering his head and burying it in my neck. His thrusts now possessed an animalistic fervour. “Fuck, yes… Shit, Maria, I don’t know how much longer I can hold on.”

“Brian…” I mumbled, my breathing escalating rapidly. “Holy shit, Bri, please don’t stop…” I transformed into a moaning mess, the fiery sensation reigniting in my core, sending electric waves between my thighs.

He held me close as I soared to my second peak of the evening, my muscles spasming uncontrollably while Brian continued to drive into me. He sustained his rhythm to help me ride out the waves of pleasure, but his own purpose was abruptly halted as his body convulsed above me.

A wild groan escaped his lips as he sank his teeth into the flesh of my neck, freezing his thrust deep inside me. His grip on my hip tightened to the point of leaving bruises that would bloom on my skin the following day.

We lay there in a state of blissful exhaustion, our hearts thumping against each other’s ribcages.

I heard Brian chuckle softly, lifting his head to gaze down at me. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?” He smiled tenderly, gently tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. I peered up at him, stray curls clinging to his damp forehead, his skin glistening with the sheen of exertion.

I could only shake my head slowly, raising my hand to caress his face as he leaned into my touch.

“Although I do think I’ll be a bit sore tomorrow,” I remarked, taking a deep breath. He rolled his eyes playfully before leaning in to kiss me with tender affection.

“Either way… I’ll be here to take care of you…” He whispered. “I’m glad we just did that. I’ve been boiling up inside for far too long, my love.”

I bit my lip, flickering my eyes up at the man I gave my innocence to, before sighing, “Me too.”

[seemeunseelie]

Brian & Freddie in the One Vision video

[pjisskullourful]

𝑩𝒊𝒓𝒕𝒉𝒅𝒂𝒚 𝑮𝒊𝒓𝒍

👑Ethan × reader

NSFW🔥 birthday sex, its the best (nastiest, smuttastic, kinky) day of the year girl!

° Ethan Torchio & female reader insert

°  your boyfriend promises that your birthday will be a day of spoiling you rotten. & Ethan always follows through with his promises.

wordcount::: 8,961

° commissioned by my wonderful sister beth (@bethanysnow) 💋 thankyou for your patience, all of the inspirations, letting me share songs with you  [requests are open. but commissions are priority! there is currently 1 commission in cue]

[ITA]: micetta: kitten - amore: love

“Did you buy her anything other than books? Her boyfriend is gonna think she’s a nerd.” Your little sister’s voice came through the speaker of your phone.

Your mother had a quick response to this. “No, her boyfriend thinks she’s a princess. We already talked about the tiara.”

The peridot-encrusted accessory sat atop your head, despite the fact that your hair was still a rumpled mess. You hadn’t yet brushed it since waking up, nor had you changed out of your nightgown. This morning had seen you staying in bed, with all needed things brought to you by your boyfriend because he had promised that your birthday would be a day of spoiling you rotten.

And Ethan always followed through with his promises.

You had woken up to your bedroom filled with balloons and a bouquet box of roses on your bedside table. Unlike past partners where sometimes you received a nice card, but that wasn’t a guarantee - Ethan had spent time preparing for this day. He had made sure his work schedule wouldn’t clash with this day, all so that he could be with you to ensure you felt inescapably special.

You had opened carefully wrapped packages to reveal things that bore designer labels. Then you had received breakfast in bed, waffles made from scratch.

While he was cleaning up from breakfast, you had moved over to the desk with your phone in hand. The small stack of gifts had been sitting on the tabletop for the past few days - delivered by your mum earlier in the week, specifically to be opened during this video call. You wouldn’t be seeing your family in person for this birthday.

“This book looks amazing, thank you Mum.” You said of the Freddie Mercury biography that you currently held. “And I’ve been dating him for a year and a half, Ethan already knows that I’m a nerd.”

“Oh, that’s one of mine.” Marcella said, she had recognised the wrapping paper on the package you had just picked up.

The parcel moved out of your family’s viewing frame when you placed it on the desk in front of you. You ripped the paper away, getting to a piece of cloth. You pulled this out, unfolding it and revealing the design printed on the dish towel.

It was your chocolate brown sausage dog, a fancy banner bore his name, Edward. You recognised the photo of him sitting with his head on a tilt, Marcella had taken it while staying one weekend with you and Ethan. Your sister had added her own drawings to the picture, giving your dachshund a cartoon crown and some love hearts surrounded him.

“My baby.” You said, your excitement bringing a little squeak into your voice. “I’m in love with this, oh my God. How did you do this?”

Your sister shrugged bashfully. “It was just some website I found that lets you put your prints on a bunch of stuff.”

“It’s so perfect, this is the only dish cloth we’re keeping in the kitchen from now on, I swear.” You said, before turning your head in the direction of the open door and you raised your voice. “Hun, come up here, you gotta see this.”

“‘Kay.” Your boyfriend called back from the lower floor of your apartment.

“He’s gonna love it.” You told them with full certainty.

Ethan’s approach was accompanied by the tapping of Edward’s nails on the floorboards, your dog was moving at a quick trot. He arrived into the bedroom, hair pulled back to keep out of his face as he cleaned up for you. He came over to where you continued to hold the small towel up.

“Oh wow. When did Eddie launch his home decor line?” He asked, taking the present from you for a closer look.

“Marcie made it for us.”

“It’s so cool. It’s a kitchen towel, right?” He asked and you nodded. “I love it, I can’t wait to hang it up. But I- it’s kinda too cute to use. I don’t wanna get it all grubby.”

“That very much defeats the purpose of giving you a dish towel.” Your mum pointed out.

“Oh, right.” He said sheepishly, he handed the cloth back to you, bending down to show your family a smile. “Shoot, I didn’t realise the bed was in view, it’s such a mess.”

“I promise we’re not judging you.” Your mum said as he moved into the space behind you, going over to the bed.

“Yeah, it’s not like she has an allowance that Mum is gonna dock ‘cause her bed isn’t made.” Marcella said.

But he had already started on the task. There were a few presents from him still lying on the disorganised sheets (these were to be opened later, he had instructed), he picked them up, along with your iPad, the TV remote and anything else he found that didn’t belong on your bed. He placed all of these on the desk, next to what gifts remained to be unwrapped from your family.

Your small dog had lots of energy to burn, running around Ethan’s feet as he straightened the top sheet out. You hadn’t paused to consider how your messy bed was in frame, you didn’t have the same eye for detail as him. He took pride in staying tidy, viewing it as a sign of respect to present the best version of yourself (and by association, your living space) to someone.

“So where are you going for your brunch?” Your mum asked.

You started to tell them about the café, which was your absolute favourite, after discovering it on your fifth date with Ethan. He had made reservations for the two of you to enjoy an indulgent high tea. Marcella didn’t understand what was involved in a high tea, so, with the consistent scrape and click of Edward’s quick steps in the background, you gave her an overview of what you knew.

Until Edward’s light brown body zipping about in your peripheral vision got to be too distracting. You swivelled the chair around in time to see him launching his little body into the air, his head raised as he aimed for the ties hanging from a cluster of helium balloons.

“Eddie, uh-uh.” You ordered. “That’s not a toy.”

Ethan moved over, scooping the dog up in one hand before this could escalate. “Okay bud, I’m gonna have to ask you to wait outside.” He crossed the floor, going to the open doorway.

“You’ve still got at least one of my gifts to open.” Marcella said.

You reached out in the general direction that you had been pulling from during this video call. Ethan shut the door, with Edward on the other side and you swivelled your chair around, facing the camera again.

“Where’d you get that fancy wrapping paper from?” Your mum asked Marcella as you brought this new gift forward.

Marcella had been looking down, only glancing up once the package was on the desk and out of view. “Huh?”

Behind you, Ethan was organising the pillows at the head of the bed while you pulled the paper back from this square box. You found a plain black cardboard box underneath.

You pulled the lid back, immediately greeted by the sight of something very fuzzy. You couldn’t tell what this round object was at first, but you went with it, this second surprise from Marcella.

You wrapped your hand around the baby pink item, finding that it had a noticeable weight as you pulled it free. This furry ball revealed a metal disc on one side - you assumed this was a stand that would allow you to display it.

But the metal disc came before a small bulb. Your eyes widened and you longed to sink down, disappearing into the floorboards because you recognised the taper of this bulb.

“Oh.” Your cheeks were aflame as you lowered the anal plug, holding it under the desk. You didn’t think they had seen the kinky tail, just as they hadn’t seen any of the other presents until you purposefully held them at camera-level. But you felt flustered all the same.

And you had to act like you weren’t.

“Oh, oh okay. Nope, ahem, that’s not a Marcie gift.” You said, resting the toy in your lap as you subtly reached for its box with one hand. “That’s from Ethan, and um…” He quickly turned around as you were shoving the toy back into its box. “That’s part of a bigger gift, which is, um, an inside joke…” He rushed over, kneeling down beside you and grabbing the box. Without a word, he kept it low to the ground and all that your family saw was you adjusting your glasses. “It’d take a while to explain it.”

He sat up a bit higher, some of his head moving into view for your family. But everything below the jawline was kept hidden, kept secret. “And honestly, it’s not even that funny. Whenever we’ve tried to explain it, we never get a laugh.”

“None whatsoever.” You added to his lie before moving things along by grabbing a new gift. You could tell that it was one from your family, the wrapping paper wasn’t as high-gloss as all of those that had come from Ethan. He grabbed and removed the second stack of items that he had created on the desk, which had included the plug.

You held the parcel up to the camera as you put a smile on your face. “I think this is a Marcie gift.”

“Yep, that’s my wrapping paper.” She said.

As Ethan carefully took himself out of frame, you started unwrapping the present. You found another cardboard box, but this one had a logo printed on it, along with some bullet points about selfie-improving features. You opened it, getting to the plastic donut inside.

“It’s a mini-ring light.” She said as you held it up. “You clip it onto your phone and it has, like, three different settings.”

“That’s cool.” Ethan commented from the ground.

“I figured you guys could get a lot of use out of it when you’re on the tours and stuff, ‘cause you’re always saying how inconsistent the lighting is from one hotel to the next.”

“Thanks heaps, Marcie.” You said. “I don’t mean to cut you guys off, and I know I’ve still got a couple more to open. But I am dying to use the bathroom and then we should start getting ready for brunch. All that makeup takes time.” Your laugh sounded nervous to your ears.

But your family didn’t pick up on anything strange. Instead of asking any questions, they let you say goodbye. He stood back up and waved to them as they wished you a happy birthday.

In the same second that the call ended, you were letting out a loud groan. You didn’t resist the cringe anymore, pushing your glasses aside to bury your face in your hands, fully feeling how hot your cheeks were now.

“I’m so sorry, micetta. I didn’t realise that got put there. I guess I wasn’t paying attention after I put Eddie out.” He said, stroking your back. “But there’s no way that they saw it, not with how you had your phone set up.”

“Thank God for that.” You murmured.

“I’m sure they’ve already totally forgotten about that weird little moment.”

You took a deep breath, fixing the position of your glasses. You somewhat composed yourself as you looked up at him. “You got me a tail?”

He started to smile, his excitement keeping it from looking anything like bashfulness. “Of course I did, my sweet bunny deserves a tail as adorable as her.” Now you were blushing for a very different reason. “Do you wanna see it again?”

You nodded eagerly, quickly leaving any sense of embarrassment behind. You wanted to see and know more about this sex toy at once. You got up, going over to the corner he had shifted everything over to. He grabbed the unwrapped box, placing it in your hands.

You allowed yourself a far more in-depth look, your mind wandering now. The plug was smooth and sturdy, not bigger than anything you had taken before. The tail was made of the softest fur, it glided beneath your fingers as you imagined how this would look poking out of your butt. What would it make your dominant boyfriend want to do to you?

“It’s really cute.” You said and looking up from it, you found that he was very carefully watching how you interacted with it, a pleased smile on his face.

“Yeah, you like it? Is it the right colour and everything?”

You moved in closer to him, placing your hand on his chest before putting your lips to his. He tasted of the sweet syrup that had covered the waffles. He placed his arm around your waist and you kissed a trail across his cheek, moving over to his ear.

“I love it, but I’m gonna love it more when you put it in me, sir.” You whispered, feeling how his arm tightened around you in response.

“But that’s for later.” He said gently. “I really didn’t mean for you to see it now.”

You grinned. “Oh, are you so worried that I won’t be able to concentrate on brunch now?”

“Maybe a bit.” He said. “But I had planned out for you to open that, and the couple of things that kinda go with it…” You looked at the stack of remaining presents, getting a rush to just think of what possibilities were currently hidden from sight. “...later. That’s all part of the later. ‘Cause in my mind, I’ve got this day in two parts, right now is when you get the sparkle- the tiara, the jewellery, the glittery makeup, all that. But then later, the only sparkles you’re gonna have are the stars you’ll be seeing when I fuck you into that headboard.”

You had started to hold your breath a little as you listened to him speak, clear images blooming into your mind. Your heart was beating harder. “That’s not- ahem, why would that distract me?”

He laughed, moving his hands down to grab a handful of ass with both hands. He gave your cheeks a playful squeeze, which made you smile wider. “Come on, you’ve gotta pick the dress you’re gonna wear to our brunch.”

“I’ve already picked.” You said as he let go of you. “I’m gonna wear the pink one.”

He had gifted you three garments, but there was something about the fuchsia dress that made it feel like the perfect thing to wear.

“Oh yeah, I think that’s the right choice.” He told you.

“Wearing a tea length dress to high tea, it just makes sense.” You said of the jacquard dress.

His eyes narrowed as he looked at you now. “Tea length, is that something you just made up?”

“No sweetheart, that’s what it’s called when the hem is a few inches below the knee.” You said.

He nodded, his face relaxing again. “Okay, well I didn’t know that. To me, this one is the right choice because it’s gonna show off all of this sexy area right here.” He applied his fingertips to your exposed shoulders, lightly drawing patterns across your skin.

You smiled, feeling even better about your choice now. You didn’t have many dresses in your closet that were off the shoulder. Certain trends didn’t make it into plus-size garments, creating some internal second-guessing when clothes shopping - should you be ashamed of your shoulders and untoned arms?

But these were some of Ethan’s favourite parts of your body. He loved to leave hickeys on your shoulders, routinely nipping at this area when you were having sex. He initiated hugs by picking your arms up, wrapping them around himself because he loved to be held by you. He disliked it whenever you covered yourself up, strongly opposed to the idea that you had something to hide.

“What should I wear?” He asked. “Do you want me to be matching you? ‘Cause I didn’t have anything specific in mind.”

You smirked. “You know that when you ask me what you should wear, I tell you that you just shouldn’t wear anything.”

He was walking over to your wardrobe. “And how well would I fit in at a high tea like that? Maybe if it were my birthday, I could try to get away with that. I could make a joke of wearing my birthday suit on my birthday. But that’s just not the case, so if you could please help me select some clothes.”

“Okay, I’ve got an idea.” You said, joining him in front of the opened doors. You didn’t have to hesitate, you knew exactly where the shirt you wanted would be hanging, because you had the superior eye for detail when it came to your clothing. You may not have noticed a dusty shelf that needed cleaning, but you always kept track of clothes.

You grabbed the navy blue button-up from amongst his other hanging items. “How about that? We don’t have to be matching to have the same vibe. So you can be there in your royal blue and my dress- well, royal pink isn’t actually a shade. But if it was, it would be that dress.” You held the shirt out to him. “Or is it too much royal stuff? Royal blue, royal-ish pink and my tiara. Unless you wanted me to leave that at home…”

He pecked you on the cheek as he took the shirt from you. “Absolutely not, I wouldn’t dream of telling you to take that off. I bought it for you ‘cause that’s the uniform of a princess, which is what you are to me. So you get to wear that whenever and wherever you like ‘cause you make the rules, especially today.”

There was a warm feeling swelling in your chest, totally undeterred by any dread, or other dark restrictions. Because as more time passed, it got clearer to you that this was the best birthday you had ever had. It was all making you feel very lucky and a little giddy.

Last year, Ethan had been away on tour. The birthdays before that had a moment or two worth remembering, but were ultimately disappointing memories to reflect back on. Your friends didn’t take on the responsibility of planning anything for you, sometimes forgetting the day altogether. You could remember getting only one thing from your childhood wishlists and if you did get a party (it was not a guarantee from one year to the next) it was never as big as what the kids at school hosted, due to the restrictions your single mum’s income placed on your whole life.

But today felt distinctively different. It was like you were finally getting a birthday right, after those missteps.

It was only mid-morning, but already you were certain this entire birthday would be worth remembering.

… … …

You waited for the waitress to finish clearing the empty plates from your table before you spoke - no one else could be in earshot for this. As she walked away, you looked across the table to Ethan, he was lifting his cup of tea to his lips.

“I can’t believe how close we got to my mum seeing my buttplug.”

You couldn’t keep it to yourself any longer. The two of you hadn’t properly spoken about that moment yet, going straight from the video call to getting ready for your date. Once you had arrived at the café all of the fresh pastries and gourmet sandwiches had distracted you further. You had been talking about other things. You had gotten preoccupied with an impromptu photo session, taking pictures of one another in your fancy outfits amongst the ornate, high-class décor - getting a handful of photos together thanks to a friendly patron.

But you found your mind drifting back to that fluffy pink ball of trouble once the sandwiches and scones were gone, filling your tummy nicely. He had remarked that while you waited for your pieces of cake was the perfect time for you to open more of your gifts. Instantly, you were thinking of the presents that he had left at home, they weren’t to be shown in public.

He froze with the cup suspended, held in the air below his chin. “You can’t believe it? From the shock and the stress of that, I think I can literally feel my first grey hairs coming in.”

You shook your head a little. “I’m sure that we’re years away from that yet. But I think that when those greys start to come in, they’re really gonna suit you.”

He decided against having a sip of his rooibos tea, setting the cup back onto its saucer. He was smiling as he folded his arms on the tabletop and leaned forward a bit. “Do you wanna know what I think is really gonna suit you, princess?” You nodded, licking your lips. “Your new tail.

“And what’s in here…” He had brought four parcels to the café, the presents resting on an empty chair, until he picked up one and put it in front of you.

You grinned, grabbing it up immediately. He was smiling as he watched you tearing at the paper.

You got to a box that bore the Dior logo and you drew in an excited gasp as you started to open it. Wrapped in decorated tissue paper was a small, clutch-style bag, complete with the ‘CD’ in gold on the side. You pulled the black bag out, already thinking of all the outfits it would improve.

“Do you like it?” He asked.

“Are you kidding?” You responded half-laughing. “It’s a classic. It’s…” You trailed off after opening the bag and finding there were already items inside. “Oh my God.”

“What? Is there something in there?” He asked, his tone immediately cheeky, he wasn’t expecting to be believed.

One-by-one, you pulled out the four tubes of lipstick, which were similarly branded Dior. You had never owned any designer brand makeup. It was something that you would often test when visiting Sephora, but you never seriously considered owning it, because you couldn’t justify the price point.

Now these were yours to play with. You looked them over, checking out the rich colours. You swatched them, creating a line of each colour on the back of your hand.

“I was kinda tempted to give that to you first, so that you could wear one for this.” He said. “But what you’re wearing is really pretty.”

“Yeah, it’s pretty. But it’s not designer fuh-... thank you so much.” You quickly switched your tone of voice, swallowing the rest of the swear, when the waitress returned. You smiled as she set down a generous slice of red velvet cake for each of you.

“Did you wanna open more gifts now?” He asked, but you already had the provided fork in hand. “Or is it cake time?”

“It’s time for me to try to recover from designer lipstick.” You said, before gesturing to the dessert. “Also, cake time.”

You weren’t used to the feeling that you were worthy of the finer things. It was something you had always craved, but it had never seemed like an inevitability for you.

You were the girl that made the best of what you had - keeping your fantasies in a box neatly separated from reality.

But Ethan treated you as if you were the prize, to be decorated and celebrated in extravagant ways. He viewed you in high regard and let you enjoy things that you had thought were beyond your grasp, because in his eyes you deserved it all. He saw you differently to how anyone had and you were getting better at leaving behind that habit of saying ‘you shouldn’t have’ in response to the wonderful things he lavished upon you.

The Dior bag and makeup weren’t the last of your designer gifts. Once the cake was gone, you had three more items to unwrap - Gucci perfume in a vintage-style green bottle, a silk Yves Saint Laurent scarf and a large pair of Prada sunglasses.

“These are amazing.” You said of the cat-eyed shaped sunglasses.

“Do you like them, like really?” He asked with a seemingly increased amount of interest. “‘Cause I won’t be offended if they aren’t actually to your tastes.”

“No, I genuinely love them.” You said, giving him a confused look.

“Okay good, ‘cause I already had your prescription put in them. That’d make them a bit different to exchange, or re-gift.” He said.

You were thrilled, his thoughtfulness allowing you to enjoy your new accessory straight away. You swiftly removed your glasses, replacing them with the shades. You didn’t have to try to squint your way to clarity, everything remained in focus - including the pleased smile growing on his face.

“Gorgeous.” He said.

“Yeah, I know you are.” You quickly responded.

“Is it time for more gifts, amore?” He asked.

You cocked your head to the side. “More, didn’t you just bring these four with us?”

“Yep.” He said and you started to grin, your thoughts guided back to the buttplug.

You seemed to be shifting to the part of the day that he had only referred to as later. There were only a few presents left to open and you were keen to find out what he thought needed to accompany the new toy.

You started to gather your things together, on your feet and ready to leave the café within the next ten minutes.

… … …

There were three presents from your boyfriend to be opened, with Ethan organising them into a specific order, which was currently a mystery to you.

You opened the package he had placed closest to you - a tube of lubricant, something that required absolutely no explanation. You started to laugh when you noticed the flavour of this lube - birthday cake.

He showed you a bemused smile. “What? Have you had too much cake already today?”

“No, it’s never a case of too much cake.” You said, unscrewing the plastic cap so you could sample the scent. “Whoa, this literally does smell like a piece of cake. Like a fun-fetti cake or something.”

He leaned in closer. “Wow, it really does.” He was still smiling as you screwed the lid back into place. “Oh boy, I sure hope that doesn’t get me feeling hungry.”

You were sitting opposite to him on your bed, legs crossed in an unladylike fashion that didn’t match with your new dress. But he wasn’t casting any judgements, just enjoying watching you get to the end of this spaced-out style of gift giving.

The next parcel was a thin box, opened to reveal a headband decorated with a pair of fuzzy rabbit ears. They were decorated with fur the exact same shade as your new tail. Picking them up, you discovered they were just as soft.

This time, just smiling at you wasn’t good enough for him - so he moved in, kissing you on the lips as soon as you looked up. “Happy birthday, sexy bunny.”

You initiated another kiss as you felt your heart beginning to flutter a little. It didn’t matter how many times he called you by this pet name, you never tired of hearing it. You never tired of being compared to something as adorable and small as a bunny rabbit.

But you didn’t rush to replace your tiara with the ears just yet. Instead you placed the headband aside and picked up your final gift. Tearing back the paper, you first saw a string of pearls, then you saw red lace.

You got the delicate items free, seeing that you had three pieces of a complete set. There was a bra, which definitely wouldn’t have offered any support for a person with a chest bigger than yours - there weren’t any cups to be seen, instead just a curved strip of red fabric to sit at the underbust. The floral lace design would cover your nipples and not much else. The flowers matched to what decorated either side of the g-string’s waistband. There was a string of pearls, which was designed to hang vertically down the front of your body, it was attached to a thin choker and a large elastic strap that would be wrapped around your middle.

“Oh, wow.” You breathed as you admired the lingerie.

He had moved in closer again, kissing you on the cheek as his hand travelled down your back. “Do you like it? ‘Cause I saw it and, straight away, I just couldn’t get out of my mind how gorgeous you would look in it, princess.”

“I love it.” You said, looking up and seeing a sparkle in his eyes. “It’s the sexiest underwear I’ve ever owned.”

“My original plan was for you to unwrap the tail last. ‘Cause then it’s a clear escalation, right? It was meant to be the big finish.” He said.

You ran your fingertips along his jaw. “What if the big finish is me putting all of this stuff on right now?”

He reached up, pulling the tiara off of the top of your head and picking up the fuzzy headband. “If you’re ready for that, if you’re ready to be my personal Playboy bunny.”

You smiled and put your new ears into place. “Yep, I am ready.” But you hesitated from kissing him. “Actually, could you kick Eddie out and make sure his bowl still has water in it?”

“But I- you’re about to get naked.”

You laughed, giving his shoulder a little shove. “I’m changing my underwear, and we both know that you being in here is gonna make it very difficult for me to put the new underwear on my body.”

He relented, getting to his feet with a sigh. He called to Edward, getting the dachshund to wake up, immediately moving out of his bed in the corner of your bedroom. “C’mon buddy, the lady needs her privacy.” He followed Ethan out of the room, tail wagging.

Ethan shut the door, leaving you alone as he went downstairs with your dog. You unzipped and removed your dress, smiling a little at the sight of it as you returned it to its clothing hanger. It was a beautiful garment, one that you thought could easily top the list as your absolute favourite. And it filled you with warmth to know that this dress had gotten a date as memorable, elegant and pretty as it was.

You took your underwear off, pulling on the new pair of panties first. There wasn’t anything covering your buttcheeks, but there was enough of the thin fabric to cover your vagina and the distinct curve that sat above your pubic bone.

There wasn’t any practicality in the bra, it was all purely for decoration because your boyfriend wanted to highlight parts of your body, parts that he wanted an excuse to stare at. You secured the clasp for the pearl attachment, completing this ensemble that you would never have the courage to buy for yourself. This set wasn’t anything you would have felt comfortable wearing before becoming Ethan’s girlfriend, but you happily pushed your bunny ears into place. You knew that he would make it worth your while to step out of your comfort zone - he always did.

You had just sprayed on some of your new perfume when the bedroom door opened and he stepped back in. He shut the door behind himself, eliminating any distractions from this grand finale of your day.

“Fuck…” He breathed and the way that he was looking at you made your heart race. “Bunny, you look absolutely incredible.”

You grinned, standing up straighter, letting your arms fall to your sides, no longer trying to conceal your stomach. “Is this what you were imagining when you bought this for me?”

“No, it’s even better.” He said as he walked over to you.

You held onto his biceps as he kissed you. “The contradiction right now between what each of us is wearing- it’s a whole lot of Sir-energy coming from you.”

His open palm struck your exposed ass. “And it’s a whole lot of dumb bunny-energy coming from you.” He put his hands on your hips, guiding you in the direction of your bed. He placed you on the mattress and moved his hands to the buckle of his belt. It was tempting to help with this task that was happening directly in front of your eyes. But you had been trained in this dynamic to wait for his instructions to follow.

“And once you’re naked, we can get to doing it like bunnies.” You said.

A thoughtful expression had come onto his face as he finally took off his dress slacks. “Actually, that’s kinda a myth about rabbits. It isn’t that they’re these super virile little animals, it’s just that their gestation period is short, literally one month.”

“Oh, I didn’t know that…” You said, watching as one at a time he removed the cufflinks that were decorated with pink stones, chosen to match your dress.

“Yeah and they can have more than ten babies per litter, so it’s a lot, but not because they’re supernatural breeding machines. The whole turn of phrase ‘fucking like rabbits’ didn’t come about until the 20th century, once Playboy and their bunnies become a pop culture staple. They came first.” He said.

“I thought it was the other way around.” You said. “Thank God I’ve got you to set me straight.”

He had undressed down to his hot pink briefs, his hands now free to be placed onto your face, cradling your round cheeks. His thumbs stroked across your skin as he leaned in closer. “What would my dumb bunny be without me?”

You had been anticipating kisses from him, licking your lips and wondering how he would taste. Instead you were repositioned, moved away slightly, his hands controlling you until you were laid down on the bed, your head resting upon the pillow.

He didn’t lie down with you, sitting next to your body as his eyes continued to eagerly take in the sight of you in your new lingerie. Your breathing was coming in shallower as his hands started to glide across your body, touching what was holding his focus.

“Being treated like a spoiled princess all day long really suits you.” He said, one hand moving across the curve of your belly, while the other laid on top of your breast.

You smiled as a few cheeky things to say came into your mind. But you kept them to yourself, content to just watch as he moved down lower. His fingers trailed along the stretch marks on the side of your belly.

“How are you feeling, nice and comfortable?” He asked and you nodded your head. “That’s good, ‘cause this pretty new lingerie isn’t coming off anytime soon. You see, with it looking even better than I imagined, I wanna enjoy it properly.

“I’ve gotta get my fill of how incredible you look.” He said as his fingers moved down, to the crease where your thighs met. “I’m just gonna push these sexy panties to the side…”

He picked up the fabric and pushed it to one side of your crotch, uncovering your cunt. Your smile widened and you let your knees fall apart.

He moved into this available space, sitting between your parted legs and beginning to lean down. His eyes left your face, now going to your exposed cunt. You reached your hands out, caressing the sides of his face as the anticipation built up inside of you, almost like a physical presence hanging in the air.

You saw him licking his lips, until he moved down so low that the curve of your belly covered most of his face. You could have repositioned if you wanted to watch him, sitting up would have allowed you an unobstructed view.

But there was no chance of you moving your body once he started to lick, immediately making you feel weak. It was a slow lick, beginning by your entrance before gliding up and coating that space between your labia majora with his saliva. Your hands slid up, into his hair, which was still secured into his pristine-looking bun. More long licks were lavished upon your cunt as you laid back, your legs spreading further.

He placed his fingers to your labia, gently parting them to provide greater access to your clit. He started to move his tongue a little faster, your heart racing as each lick left you feeling more sensitive. He avoided penetration, the tip of his tongue briefly close to your entrance before being swept up, gliding up to your clit. He finished each of these strokes with a flourish, wiggling his tongue against the hood of your clit.

You were out of breath when he eased back from this tight bundle of nerves, moving to place lingering kisses on your folds. You ran your hands over his smooth hair as his lips caressed your pussy with slow and sweet kisses. He switched from one side to the other, working to his own rhythm, which had lovely tingles steadily rising up inside of you.

The intensity suddenly increased, leaving you weaker than before as he pointed his tongue to apply to your clitoris. He moved quicker, dating his tongue in a consistent up-down motion, which reduced you to a whimpering mess. You tilted your pelvis as the scorching heat of your arousal rose from your gut, so powerful. Your body shuddered and you were certain that this pacing could ruin you.

He got quicker when he started to move his tongue in circles. Your excitement made it so that you could no longer hold your hips still, beginning to jolt, giving yourself more delicious pressure. Your fingers clenched, wrapping around some of the strands of his hair, beginning to pull them loose.

You were so lost in ecstasy, mouth hanging slack, that you didn’t notice what he was doing with his hands. You didn’t realise that he was picking up the tube of lube, you had forgotten about the present until you were smelling its sweet scent.

He lifted his mouth from your clit and, in the same second, he took one slicked finger, filling your pussy with it. You gave a little cry as he pushed his finger in deeper. He rested his head down, his nose pressing into the squishy area above your pussy, unbothered by the short hairs that brushed against his face. He nuzzled against your skin, as that finger started to curl inside of you.

“Is that good for my dumb bunny?” He asked.

“Uh-huh, so fucking good.” You strained to say, your body writhing.

With absolutely no warning, his finger was pulled out of you so that he could use both hands to flip your body, your chest now pressed to the mattress.

“Ass up.” He said, slapping his hands against your rear. “This ass needs to be up.”

Your glasses had slid down the bridge of your nose, but you didn’t waste your time fixing this as you repositioned yourself. You planted your knees, keeping them apart, onto the mattress and lifted your ass into the air. You arched your back, hoping to achieve the posture he desired.

As you were trying to find the most comfortable way to hold your arms, you heard some slurping sounds from behind you, with him cleaning his finger.

“That lube tastes just like a cake too.” He said. “I wonder how great it will taste when I eat it right out of your pussy.”

You could feel how extra slippery his fingers were when he returned them to your cunt. You felt the smooth lubricant being applied all over, the thick liquid coating your clitoral hood before he pushed his finger inside of you with a squelch that made you feel a little bashful. More wet sounds accompanied his finger pulling free.

Then his tongue glided in, making you cry out as he pushed it in so deep. You were soon hearing his happy moans as he started to move his tongue around, exploring the textured skin of your inner-walls. It seemed that he wanted to leave no part of your pussy untasted, his tongue working over every inch until you were sweating.

He pulled back. “God, that tastes amazing.”

“Is that good cake for you, sir?” You asked with a little waver in your voice.

He laid some kisses upon your clitoral hood. “Mn, fuck.” You were left shaking as he kissed all over your pussy. “So delicious, it tastes better than the cake we had at the café today. It’s so fucking sweet, it’s better than any cake I’ve ever eaten in my whole life.” You smiled as the needy throb in your cunt only grew more noticeable with each kiss he placed on your skin.

“I’m not done enjoying my second dessert of the day.” He said. “I’m gonna need so much more lube…”

He grabbed the thin strap of material that had been resting between your buttcheeks and moved it aside. He pulled it over to the side that the underwear was bunched at.

This time the lube hit your skin directly from the applicator, the thick dollop sliding down the crack of your butt. Your breathing fluttered as he returned his mouth to your cunt, licking in the opposite direction to his earlier movements, beginning at your clit, then dragging along, finishing at your asshole. Then he lifted his tongue to return to the sensitive starting point.

He repeated this motion a few times, with his fingers beginning to follow this path. The digit was just as wet as his tongue, rubbing you into a higher state of passion wherein your muscles were tensing, wanting to get to that release.

“Look at that adorable butthole glisten.” He said, running two of his fingertips along the crack of your butt, spreading the lube further.

“Fuck, oh…” You breathed when you felt the tip of his finger gradually sinking inside of your butt.

Your jaw fell slack as he started to lick at your entrance. His tongue worked in quick flits around this wet area, leaving you to curl your hands into fists around your pillow.

“My perfect bunny girl needs her perfect tail, doesn’t she?” He asked and you could only moan wordlessly in response. “I’m gonna get it nice and lubed up for you, okay? But I think that before I do that, I’m gonna need you to get your face right into that pillow. Put your whole head down…” He put his hand to the back of your head, pushing it down and shifting your body weight forward.

Your face was forced against the pillowcase, with you anticipating that marks from your makeup would be left behind. While he silently prepared the plug, you removed your glasses and placed them on the safety of the bedside table. You laid your cheek on the pillow, waiting.

“Get that ass up higher.” He ordered. “And I don’t wanna see these legs moving at all. In fact…” He reached an arm across the backs of your calves, pressing to keep your legs in this bent position. “That’s good. Now I’m gonna need you to spread that ass for me…”

You reached up, placing a hand on each cheek to separate them for him. He applied another pump of lubricant directly onto your skin, allowing it to slide along this crease.

His voice was more gentle when he spoke next. “I’m gonna go really, really slow. And if it starts to hurt, or you just don’t like how it feels, you say the safe word and we stop straight away, okay?”

You nodded your head. “Yes, honey.”

Using the tapered end of the plug, he started to work your hole open. You could feel the tension building up inside of you as you kept your hands on your ass. Gradually more of the slippery metal was sunk inside of you, prompting moans from you as you felt fuller-and-fuller. A sweat broke out on your forehead as you wondered if you were approaching the threshold of just how much you could take.

“Almost there, almost there.” He encouraged. “Yeah, this spoiled princess wants all of her presents, hm?”

“Mm-hmm.” You whimpered.

“Okay, there we go, there we go.” He said and you felt the pressure in your ass shift when he took his hand off of your temporary tail. “You did it.” You grinned, a triumphant feeling blooming in your chest, chasing away any of the earlier straining in your body. “You got it all in. And wow, it looks insanely sexy.” You giggled, wiggling your ass a little as you began to adjust to the plug. “So fucking sexy.”

You were giddy from all of the lust coursing through your veins. “Does it make you feel like you wanna breed me?” You took your hands off of your butt, prepared to use them to help brace yourself.

“Yeah, I could consider that.” He said and, despite your mostly blurry vision, you could distinguish the familiar motion of him removing his pink briefs. “But first, I would need for you to ask me properly. Or has my dumb bunny forgotten her manners?”

You put on the sweetest voice that you could manage. “Please breed me, please. I need it.” You felt the mattress shifting with his weight as he moved around behind you. “Please, don’t you want to?” You felt him gently lay his hands onto your hips. “Please, breed me. Oh please, please, please, please.”

He started to line his tip up with your cunt and you could feel so much heat spreading under your skin, beyond where your bodies made contact. Your patience was dwindling and you were willing to do far more begging.

But that wasn’t necessary. Instead, the next noise that you were making was a whimper as he buried his cock into your pussy.

“You better be comfortable like this, because I’m keeping you in this position. Because I’ve gotta be looking at my dumb bunny’s tail as I pound her.” He said.

Once he had sunk his entire length into you, he put his hands onto your hips, holding them with a secure grip. Then he rocked his body weight into you, allowing his tip to drive deeper between your clenching walls.

He wasn’t dedicating any of his time to warming you up - maybe he was feeling just as needy as you. He started to snap his hips into your butt, experimenting with his range of movements. It all felt so good, your sensitive body reacting in so many ways to how he was working you over.

“God, having that plug in your ass has made you…” He started to time his movements to his words. “...so goddamn…” Your laboured breaths filled the gaps between his words. “...tight…” You had to bite your lip, not wanting your louder noises to interrupt him. “...I can hardly…” He worked his hips into you, beginning to find a promising momentum. “...move…” Working your thigh muscles, you could keep up with him, building the friction together. “But I’m gonna…” Your ass slapped into his thighs again-and-again. “Not gonna stop…” His trimmed nails were starting to dig into your skin. “...’til you’re fuh-...” He groaned. “...fucking full.”

“Yes, fill me sir, please fill me.” You sobbed into the pillow as you matched his rhythm.

The only sound in your bedroom became the collision of skin slapping on skin at the end of every thrust. These were coming in faster, bringing bigger reactions from you. From the spasming of your inner-walls, to the sweat beading on your face - it was all beyond your control. Your body was possessed by pleasure, no longer your own as you were rocked by powerful stimulations coming at you from seemingly every angle.

You could only whimper when he started to pump faster. He took up an unrelenting speed, which left you daunted, feeling as if your nervous system was changed with electricity. His tip repeatedly rubbed against the roof of your vagina, massaging you into a state of ecstasy.

You drove yourself back into him, along his slicked shaft and you arched your back, crying out when you found that perfect angle. You had him at your g-spot, your hands curled into fists as you slipped deeper into that pleasure. He grabbed a handful of your loose hair, tugging on these strands.

“Yes.” You were breathless, your mind going blissfully blank as he continued to fuck into your g-spot. “Oh, Daddy, Daddy, Dad-dee.”

The bunny ears were dislodged from the top of your head as you were bounced forward by his frantic pacing. So much of your body had tensed: your throat, your hole around the plug, the muscles in your hands, your pussy, your chest. All of you was waiting to be set free, throbbing with need.

But then that throbbing became an explosion as the head of his cock hit into your g-spot and you started to disappear into your release. Your cunt excitedly spasmed around him as the rest of your body weakened.

Your sensitivities continued to radiate throughout your system as he persisted with his hungry pacing. You grinded back into him, moaning as his hot cum started to shoot between your tender walls.

“Take it, dumb bunny.” He grunted, his voice was low and strained as he got up to his own edge. “Oh bunny, bunny…” He convulsed forward, sinking deeper into you as he laid his chest down on your back. You felt his teeth bite into your skin as his cum began to flood into your already dripping cunt. “Fuck.” He gasped in a large breath. “Oh, fuck.”

Then there was silence and he remained on top of you, arms wrapping around you. He rested his cheek against your shoulder, both of you trying to catch your breath. You smiled, you didn’t have any words to share with him right now, just enjoying the gradual process of coming back from that dazzling height.

Even as he pulled out, it felt like your body was still aglow. He murmured praises to you as he removed the tail. He collapsed onto the bed alongside you, so much of his hair had come loose from the elastic, with a lot of it stuck to the sweat on his face. You gazed at him without a single care in the world, just taking in all of the details that you had the luxury of enjoying, for as long as you liked.

“Your ears fell off.” He pointed out.

You reached around your immediate surroundings, able to find the headband still on the bed. “‘Course they did, you weren’t exactly gentle.”

He smiled, on the verge of looking smug because he was clearly very satisfied with how everything had just unfolded. “Well you’re my bunny, sometimes you’re my baby bunny. But then there’s other times when you’re my Playboy bunny and I need to make sure you feel that and you know that, down to the core of your being.”

You pushed the headband back into place, then propped yourself up, leaning in closer to him. “I do know it.” You kissed him. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” He said. “I need to clean this plug. And I should get you some juice. Did you want anything else from the kitchen?”

“Did we have any of those bagels left?” You asked, sitting up. “I’ll check, you can just concentrate on doing the clean-”

He was up and out of the bed in an instant. “You will do no such thing. I’m taking care of it all, that’s my job. And your job as birthday princess is to stay exactly where you are. I mean, obviously you’re allowed to use the bathroom and get changed, if you wanna. But I’m not done pampering you yet. I was thinking that we could cuddle and check if there’s new episodes of our podcast to listen to together.”

“Okay sweetheart, I’ll look into that.” You said.

He opened the door and Edward was bounding back into the room within seconds. You put your glasses back on before getting to your feet.

While Ethan was in the main bathroom, washing the buttplug, you used the ensuite. Your makeup had become smudged and smeared, giving you the appearance of someone who had experienced a long night out. As you washed your face, he progressed down the stairs and into the kitchen.

By the time he returned to the bedroom, you were relaxing on the bed, your sexy lingerie replaced with a set of soft pyjamas. Edward had settled down next to you, happy to lay with you as you looked through apps on your phone.

“How are you feeling?” Ethan asked, offering you a glass of juice and a heated bagel.

“I’m good, no pain.” You said, aware of the things he was purposefully not saying. “And there’s lots of episodes of Off Menu for us to catch up on. They’ve got one where Richard Ayoade is the guest.”

His interest in the British podcast was secured. “Oh, the guy with the glasses from The IT Crowd? I love that show.”

“Yeah, it should be a good one. Are you ready for me to start it?”

“Mm-hmm.” He said, joining you on the bed. As the opening tune played, he removed the bunny ears from your head. Before you could comment about this, he was settling the sparkling tiara upon your head, wearing a smile as he did so. “Happy birthday, micetta.”

»»————-　♡　————-««

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[anakinsafterlife]

I was thinking about this issue a lot recently. Not specifically House, but how you can't actually ever be sure with older people (or anyone, but it's more likely to be an older person in the global West) if they fall somewhere under the rainbow. For example, I was recently re-watching Dallas Buyers Club, which was based on the life of Ron Woodroof, an AIDS patient who sold unapproved, but relatively effective, medications to other patients, which allowed them to extend their lives for years longer than their doctors were predicting. The movie shows him as initially homophobic (while changing his mind later) and as having caught HIV from having a lot of unprotected sex with female prostitutes. It's definitely possible, especially if menstrual blood is present, viral load is high, or another STI is present, but it's still very low compared to the risk present in anal intercourse.

His Wikipedia article, however, says that while he lived an outwardly straight life, at least some of his contemporaries claim that he was bisexual. In fact, we'll never know what the truth was, because he didn't live long enough to see a time of greater tolerance, which might have permitted him to be more open about his sexuality, if in fact he was bisexual.

This is just one example. When I started getting back into the band Queen again, I made the mistake of reading Quora, and almost every day you see someone asking about whether Freddie Mercury was gay or bi. I think it's fairly clear that he was gay, but the debate rages on precisely because he lived in a time when being forthright about exactly how queer you were could destroy your career. Elton John came out as bisexual in the 70s and saw sufficient backlash that he went fully back into the closet in the 1980s. He married sound engineer Renate Blauel. They were married for four years, but Elton was still struggling with his sexuality. I remember reading somewhere that the marriage was never consummated, which I find difficult to believe, especially since his one of his motivations for marrying was apparently a desire to start a family, but I can certainly see sex being a problem. Now imagine if he had died at that time. Plane crash or overdose. Whatever. The point is that we would still not know the truth of his sexual identity, although EJ and gay are pretty much synonymous these days.

Even people much younger than these men struggle greatly with their sexuality, especially in relation to society and their families. Which brings us back to House. This is a show that debuted in 2004. The first country in the world to approve marriage equality is the Netherlands, just four years previously, in 2000. This was still very new and controversial, and homosexuality as an acceptable practice had a much more tenuous position in the minds of society than it does now.

I remember when Thirteen came out as bi on House, and my aunt stopped watching the show because she was so disgusted. In fact, I remember reading a biography of David Bowie around the same time, and another aunt disparaging it because she remembered that he was bisexual. This aunt today has no problem with bisexual or gay people, because most people take their cues on political issues from society, and society's take on LGBTQ issues has changed drastically in even the last twenty years. I am aware that there are areas in North America and Europe where the community is currently experiencing violent backlash, but that backlash is happening precisely because gay and bisexual relationships have been normalized.

Now think again about the time in which House was produced. It would have been impossible to have a hit primetime television show, which is precisely what House was, with a gay or bisexual lead, much less two. There is absolutely no way that it would have run for eight seasons if the showrunners had dared. Yes, the writers teased us, queer baited us, if you will, but only because they recognized the romantic potential of the relationship but could not give it to us forthrightly without sabotaging the entire production. House was one of the top earning shows on television at that time, so certainly no executive was going to approve that.

OK, so imagine now that House and Wilson are real people rather than television characters. Born in the sixties. Liberal and comfortable enough to make gay jokes and publically enjoy a very close friendship. But still old enough to be afraid. Not want to risk the public humiliation of upending their social standing. Of risking their few other close personal associations. Of having their fitness as medical professionals questioned, which would probably happen to Wilson, since he worked closely with children. Of questioning their own masculinity. Of risking the contempt of their parents (I know one guy around their age who is obviously gay but got married and had kids to please his mother, who also knows that he is gay but was unable to handle it). The likelihood of staying in the closet, of not taking the risk, even for the love of your life, is high. *Very* high.

Even today, in this supposed age of gay tolerance, there are people of all ages who remain deeply closeted for a variety of reasons. To please their families or avoid religious persecution or stalling their careers, and so many other reasons.

Viewed in this light, it's impossible to say who is gay or bi and who isn't, and even more impossible to say who would be out if conditions were more favorable. In fact, there would probably be far more people willing to question their supposed straightness and take a chance on loving the people that they are forced to view strictly as friends, due to cultural forces beyond their control.

I do think that House and Wilson were in love, canonically. I don't think they ever consumated it, or even admitted it to one another. In so many ways, their love story was a tragedy.

[welcomewithmetonight-thechaos]

Eddie Munson’s Guide to Metal

Eddie knows Steve listens to Wham! and other such mainstream stuff and has written him off as music-tasteless...

BUT then he hears him listening to Another One Bites the Dust by Queen (’Steve walks warily down the street...’) and thinks that maybe there hope.

Cue, Eddie Munson’s Guide to Metal, a seven step plan to convince Steve of the genre (because he dismissed it as noise when Eddie told him he’d played Master of Puppets to distract the bat, something along the lines of “Yeah no wonder that attracted the bloodsucking monsters”).

Eddie Munson’s Guide to Metal

Let Steve listen to more Queen, gradually turn up to the more guitar-heavy and hard rock leaning songs

a mixtape of songs from Dio, Black Sabbath, Ozzy Osborne that are just a bit closer to the pop genre

the Rocky Horror Picture Show (just to check out if Steve can stomach more... freaky (fruity) stuff, because if he can’t there’s no use in proceeding (this is an essential step to the plan and totally not a plot to gather intelligence on Steve’s sexuality)

Make him learn about the absolute brilliancy of some artists (’do you see how fast he moves his fingers on the guitar, Steve? He’s better then some of the classical guitarists’ and ‘you know this man can sing four octaves, Steve, four octaves. he can make sounds heretofore unknown to man, Steve’)

Convince him to come to band practice to demonstrate the brilliancy of the genre live (totally not to show off to, shut up Gareth)

METALLICA

Stealing all the car cassettes in his car, except for the one with Master of Puppets on it, until he caves

Meanwhile Steve just started listening to Queen because he saw Freddie Mercury in a leather skirt and he has already seen Rocky Horror Picture Show with Robin, to help (or absolutely worsen) his sexuality confusion (which was totally not prompted by Eddie, shut up, Robin). He still has no clue about Metal at step 7 though, he was too busy staring at Eddie all the time.