#*calls you a disappointment but in a hot way* /j

[an-albino-pinetree]

can we get some jax doing a terrible job at flirting with tree? :>> (or a good job- WHO SAID THAT)

This ask is so old it’s grown an unidentifiable fungus

[outermaybanks]

mean jj! bsf reader. jj plays baseball and lost a game against their rival team. he takes his anger out on you and he’s super rough and mean, but you’re totally into it.

Homerun

a/n: them fucking baseball boys. CW!!! smut 18+, unprotected sex, oral m receiving, creampie, ROUGH & RUDE, spit, just to be safe im gonna say dubcon, but reader is def consenting moodboard | headcannon

You sat in the middle row of the metal bleachers, a red and white cap with #7, JJ’s number, kept the beating sun out of your eyes so you could keep them on JJ. At least the hot metal wasn’t burning your thighs anymore, as you had wore a skirt to try and combat the summer heat. This was the most important game of the season, the play-offs for state. You knew how important it was to your bestfriend, he hopes to get at least one state championship under his belt before you graduated, so he could get a scholarship.

Your hands were clasped together in a silent, but desperate prayer to no one god in particular. You wanted this for him more than anything. 

“And up next to bat, #7, JJ Maybank!” The announcer’s voice said over the speaker. “Wooo! Let’s go, JJ!” You shouted, hoping JJ could hear you over the other cheers.

“Strike one!” you heard the ump say, and you wished you could punch him. “Strike two!” your nails began to dig into the back of your hand you were so anxious. Then finally, he hit the last ball. “Foul!” The umpire shouted, and you felt your heart sink as you could only imagine how JJ felt. “Strike three, out!”

The team lost, 5-4. 

As soon as the game ended, you were trying to fight past the crowd to make it to the boy’s locker room. You had seen the entire team enter after the game was called, and they had to leave out that way. This was nothing new, you were JJ’s best friend, the whole team knew who you were, and they were used to seeing you wait outside the locker room for JJ after every game, so members of the team greeted you as they left.

But JJ didn’t come out. You smiled and waved to every member of the team, and JJ was the last one in there. You had a slight pout as you realized how long you had been standing there waiting, and the idea of JJ sitting in there all alone with the weight of the loss on his shoulders killed you. So you looked around before pulling up the door to the locker room.

“JJ?” you called out softly, also to give warning in case you had miscounted and someone else was still in here. “Go away, y/n,” JJ’s voice replied, you started following where it sounded it came from. “J, c’mon talk to me.” “Don’t wanna talk. I wanna be alone.”

You turned a corner, finding JJ sitting on a bench in only his pants and a wifebeater. “J…” “I said leave me the fuck alone, y/n! God, don’t you ever fucking listen?” JJ shouted. You had seen him angry, you had seen him disappointed, but it was never this bad; and it broke your heart. “JJ, I know you’re upset, but I’m not gonna leave you to feel shitty by yourself. What kind of a best friend would I be if I did?”

JJ stood up, his eyes dark and focused as he stepped towards you. “I don’t want to talk.” “We don’t have to talk,” you said softly, thinking you were finally getting somewhere with him. “You wanna make me feel better, y/n?” JJ was right in front of you now, you had to turn your head to look up at him, his eyes down on you. “More than anything.” “Get on your knees.”

At first you were confused, but then reality dawned on you of what he was really asking you. “J, I don’t know if that’s-” “You wanna make me feel better or not?”

You bit your lip, but nodded as you sunk down to your knees. JJ immediately unbuttoned his pants, and you could already make out the line of his hard dick in his boxers. “Open,” JJ commanded, and you obeyed. JJ’s hand took hold of your hair, pulling it back so you’d look up at him before he spat in your mouth. “Now swallow.” You did so without question, then stuck your tongue out to show him. “Good girl.”

With the hand that wasn’t tangled in your hair, he pulled his boxers down, allowing his cock to spring free, almost hitting you in the face. JJ gave you no time to prepare before he was sliding his tip past your lips, then the rest of his length down your throat, causing you immediately to gag, pulling off of him to cough.

“Thought you wanted to make me feel better, y/n?” JJ panted out. You looked up at him through blurry eyes, wiping the spit away from your mouth before you wrapped your hand around his dick, guiding him into your mouth. You kept your eyes on him as you worked your way down, easing him further down your throat with each bob of your head. JJ let out a sharp hiss, “Fuck, that’s it, y/n.” He was impatient, the second you managed to take all of him into your throat without gagging, he started moving his hips. Lewd noises filled the otherwise empty locker, the wet noises of your throat seemed so much louder.

When JJ suddenly unsheathed himself from your throat, you felt forward with a cough, your hands splayed on his thighs. “I need more. You gonna be a good girl f’me?” JJ asked, his words rushed as he pulled his pants down more. You didn’t know what he meant, but you nodded anyway, anything to make him feel better. “Bend over, put your hands on the locker.”

You were quick to do as you were told, and when you felt JJ’s tip rub you through your panties, a rush of adrenaline ran through you, long had you dreamed of the day you got to fuck JJ Maybank. You felt a wave of cool air hit you as JJ flipped the fabric of your skirt up. His thumb found the seam of your entrance with ease, petting you softly before pulling your panties to the side. “So wet, just from sucking my cock, y/n? Damn… didn’t know you were a freak like that…” You bit your lip to stop yourself from moaning at his words alone. “I’m gonna fuck this pretty pussy, then, if you’re good, I’m gonna take you home, fuck you some more, how’s that sound, princess?” “Please, JJ-” you whine, arching your back to push against him. A small chuckle fell from his lips, almost mocking you. “That’s my girl,” you barely heard him mumble before you felt his tip at your entrance, moving his head through your folds to collect the juices before he slid into you with one movement. 

“Fuck-” your hand immediately came up to cover your mouth, JJ gave you no time to adjust before he began thrusting. “No, nope. Wanna hear you. Wanna hear how good my cock makes you feel,” JJ said as he pulling your hand away, holding that arm behind your back. “God, you feel good,” you breathed out before a whine slipped from you. “Just me, no God here,” JJ grunted, the hand that wasn’t pinning your arm back came down to slap the flesh of your ass, his fingers digging into your skin for a better grip. You couldn’t manage words, only small whimpers as he started hitting your sweet spot. “So fucking tight… no one’s fucked you right, have they?” JJ asked, but it was taking everything in you just to keep standing. Another slap. “Have they?” “No, JJ!” you practically screamed just to satisfy him.

Suddenly, you were empty, and a frantic, needy whine left your throat. JJ used the arm pinned behind your back to push you onto the ground, your cheek pressed against the cold floor as he quickly slid back inside you. JJ pressed down on your mid back, hitting deeper inside you. “Should’ve fucked you sooner. Maybe we’d fix that attitude…” 

Your eyes threatened to close as pleasure overwhelmed your entire body, but another slap on your ass opened them. “Stupid… fucking… ump…” JJ said as he took all his frustrations out on your pussy, and you loved every second of it. You could feel yourself clench around him, desperate for more. “Stupid… fucking… pitcher.” “JJ…” you purred out. “Shut up and take it, y/n,” JJ hissed through gritted teeth, and his words made the coil in your stomach snap, as slurred attempts at words fell from you, the one you managed, “JJ… mmm-”

JJ grunted, his hips moving at a relentless pace, his grip on you would probably leave bruises tomorrow but you didn’t care when you heard his name fell from his lips as he came inside you. Panting, he stayed on top of you, finally releasing your arm from his grasp as he caged you in, both of you trying to catch your breaths.

“Thanks…” JJ finally spoke up. “I needed that.” You felt the weight lift off you as JJ sat up, moving to put himself back in his boxers. You were still out of breath. “No problem… Happy to help.”

JJ chuckled, pulling you towards him as he pressed a kiss to your head. He helped you to your feet, and stabled you when you wobbled, you clung to him for dear life. “Sorry if I was too rough.” “Don’t be, I liked it,” you confess, your face still pink. JJ smiled his million dollar smile that sent butterflies to your stomach, and to your- “C’mon. I’ll take you to get some icecream or something first.” Your eyebrows furrow, “First?” “Yeah, before we go back to my place,” JJ said like it was obvious, his smile turning a bit more cocky, “I got a promise to fulfill.”

©ᵒᵘᵗᵉʳᵐᵃʸᵇᵃⁿᵏˢ ²⁰²⁴

[tinydefector]

Hi Tiny! (First time I’ve asked to this blog, or any blog in general) Not really a request, feel free to not acknowledge this, these are simply some thoughts inspired by the Human effects series that I wanted to share with you!

For one, human doctors who are passionate about how the human body works finding cybertronian forums and trying to communicate info on how human bodies work like

- start of dialogue -

Ilovecatssupreme: no @/jewelsmoneygoldgalore(or whatever swindles username would be) that is NOT how the human body works!!

Don’t try (insert sex act here), you would KILL them!

And @/revuppowerup humans do NOT HAVE CLOACAS!! Guys please we aren’t birds we have two seperate holes

[insert fun fact about human anatomy that would probably scare the shit out of a cybertronian here]

- end of dialogue -

I just think it’d be hillarious to see a human doctor who is appalled going “guys, that’s not how that works!! It works like this-“ and proceeds to explain the human body and our parts

On a similar note, thought / scenario; a human doctor part of Y/n’s crew possibly being interested in learning more about cybertronian biology but not wanting to come off rude or overly personal with questions, especially with the cultural differences between the species they may not wanna ask things that come off weird or creepy, would possibly get along with brainstorm over wanting to know for research purposes!!

Another thought that comes to mind, cybertronians finding human forums with human monster fuckers goin: yeah sure I’d bang a cybertronian, some of their ambassadors are hot / Optimus prime kinda hot

It just seems funny, like I just imagine some people from different parts of the world like; “how do cybertronians flirt? I got this person who buys my supplies and i wanna get them to pay more” (swindle vs their supplier who can seduce who for more profit first/j I jest i jest)

But I think it’d be neat to see cybertronians figuring out that a portion of humanity is definitely interested and wants to know how to get with them safely(optional)

Also just me saying this, Nadia, mentioned on ‘Chaos on board’ is so far one of my favorite original(?) characters in the human effects series, I definitely wanna find out where her attempts at getting free drinks from swerve go

Either way loving the series so far! I can’t wait to see where it goes next, wether or not it continues considered,

Remember to take care of yourself, take breaks, the usual! <33

Oh the chaos that would insure. Both medical personnel from both sides having to sit down with their crew or people and go. " Please do not fuck/frag the cybertronian /human, we do not have the knowledge or resources to know if it's safe"

But also watching the scientists and medics working together to see what is actually possible and viable. Have to run fluid tests and samples to see if it's possible for a safe relationship between a human and cybertronian. But also the sheer shock when both sides find out that their 'equipment' is very similar.

And oh, the forums, there are so many. So are simple as just polls of 'would you frag a human?. Yes or no' then there's the secret polls shared between friends groups with a list of mech or human's to see who everyone seems to have a thing for.

It eventually leads to anonymous role play groups over fantasy, fanfiction sites, informational sites, and even rare hook up sites. Sharing information over their species. And God forbid when the hook up sites get around on both sides.

But can you imagine any medical staff getting a call for help and showing up to someone quarters to find a human and bot stuck together. Medics being baffled, shocked, impressed, horrified, and disappointed.

I'm planning on keeping human effects as the small series I've got going but if you guys want another spin off on it heading more in the horny direction I'm happy to make another. Probably call it Sites unknown or something like that.

Slowly working on the next part of human effects and I'm glad you guys like the crew had alot of fun writing them, and I might do a little spin off fic of Nadia and Swerve in the future in people really want it.

[vivalas-vega]

into you / jake ‘hangman’ seresin x reader

heyooooo -- this is a request I’m excited to finally get out! as always my requests are open and let me know what you think!

into you / jake ‘hangman’ seresin x reader

request: you can find that here!

word count: 2.3k

warnings: drinking, angst, miscommunication

You stood off to the side of the hangar after touching back down on the ground overlooking Jake and Phoenix as they laughed and talked about the training exercise, feeling your stomach twist in dread as you did. Phoenix looked ethereal, just as she always did, with the setting San Diego illuminating her profile and a smile bright enough to blind you… you couldn’t even be disappointed, of course the Navy’s two most beautiful pilots would just gravitate towards each other.

“Hey, what are you doing?” Rooster asked suddenly from beside you and you jumped as you placed a hand over your heart, looking around to try and see where the hell he might have come from.

“Can you like… announce yourself?” you asked, pulling yourself away from watching your heartbreak in real time to instead busy yourself with heading towards the locker rooms and of course Rooster was hot on your tail. 

“I said your name three times,” he pointed out and you rolled your eyes. “Seemed to be staring awfully intensely there… which one is it?”

“What are you talking about?” you tried to deflect, pushing the doors open and grabbing your civilian clothes from your locker as he leaned against the one beside yours. 

“I’ve been watching you watching them for a few weeks now but what I haven’t been able to observe is which one actually has your attention… unless it’s both?” he asked, genuinely curious as you let out a sigh.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Roo,” you said and he just smirked at you.

“Sure sure,” he finally decided after a moment of pondering his response, “you coming to the bar?”

“Yeah, I’ll meet you there,” you said with a soft smile as you unzipped your flight suit and Rooster took that as his cue to leave. You were terrified that he had been the one to pick up on it, you loved Rooster with your whole heart but you had never pegged him as the observant type, or one to even care enough to try and put the pieces together. Your only saving grace was that he hadn’t yet deduced who had captured your affections and you intended to keep it that way.

Jake had snuck up on you… when you all first got recalled you hadn’t thought much of him, other than he was a bit of an arrogant ass but the energy had shifted when he all but ran after Rooster and Maverick to save them from sudden death… when you learned you were going to be a permanent squad after Admiral Simpson had decided you all worked impeccably well together (after an adjustment period) it seemed his attitude change wasn’t just a phase. Sure, he was still a bit of an ass sometimes, but it was more endearing than it was before. You found yourself looking forward to his banter, and looking forward to the moments the two of you spent alone while everyone else was preoccupied at the bar. 

You’d started to learn more about him… his family, his upbringing, why he joined the Navy and he learned all the same about you. You’d call him a genuine friend, and one of your closest at that but somewhere along the way you found your stolen glances lingering, wanting to soak up as much of that smile or the way he commanded a room as you could and suddenly you were falling headfirst for Jake Seresin. Something you had never imagined you would do… but you had resorted to silent pining and longing stares because he seemed to focus his affection towards Phoenix. Over the past few weeks you’d noticed the two of them growing closer, something you were happy about considering other than Rooster those two had the most ground to make up, but you had this sinking feeling that it was more than mending fences. Each time you saw them laughing together or stealing looks across the ready room, clearly chuckling at some silent inside joke you couldn’t make any sense of you felt your heart ache in a way you’d never experienced before. 

“There she is! Kiddo, come rack ‘em!” Jake called out to you as you entered the Hard Deck and you couldn’t tell if his eyes raked down your form, clad in a sundress, or if you were simply going crazy and creating things that were never there. Your chest felt tight at the nickname he’d bestowed upon you… you knew it was a term of endearment, and that nothing negative was meant by it, you were simply just the youngest on the team but it made you feel rather juvenile every time he said it.

“Start without me, I need a drink,” you responded, waving him off as you approached Penny. 

“What’s the mood tonight? Beer or something stronger?” she asked and you gave her a smile.

“How about both?” you responded and she nodded, setting a shot in front of you as well as a fresh bottle of beer. You took the shot quickly and forgoed using the lime in favor of dropping it down the neck of your beer as you turned to walk towards the pool table, trying not to have a reaction to Phoenix and Jake going head to head. You decided to hang back, sitting in one of the stools beside Bob and giving him a mischievous smile when you reached your hand over to snag some of his peanuts. 

“Ma’am, that is theft,” he teased and you chuckled.

“Sharing is caring, Bobby,” you responded as you grabbed a few more and he didn’t put up a fight. You knew you were being more reserved than usual, you weren’t known for hanging off to the side or not forcing yourself into the limelight, and you knew everyone was picking up on it but you’d hoped no one would say anything. You made small talk with Bob and Fanboy, contributing the bare minimum to actually be considered a part of the conversation and you were doing everything in your power to avoid looking at the pool table. You had to get over this crush, it clearly wasn’t reciprocated and allowing yourself to give it anymore of your attention would only result in you feeling more hurt than you already did. It was time to nip it in the bud.

“You’re being more obvious now than you were before,” Rooster said, stepping into your bubble from behind and whispering in your ear, sending a shiver up your spine and you tried to ignore him as you let your dart fly towards the board, smirking when it landed dead center. 

“What do you mean?” you asked, lining up your second shot and being acutely aware of how close he still was.

“You couldn’t stop staring before, now you’ve barely spared them a second look… everyone knows you're off tonight and your avoidance is making the reason incredibly clear,” he replied and you shook your head as you threw your last dart. You turned your head slightly, taking a step forward when your face nearly collided with his to give him a questioning look before going to grab your darts from the board.

“Why are you so interested in this?” you asked as you wrote your score on the board and stepped aside to let Coyote take his turn. 

He shrugged, “things are slow, I like stirring the pot.”

“You’re insufferable,” you sighed, watching as Coyote secured his win against you and you begrudgingly gave him a high five. The dart board was where you were reigning champion, people gaining a victory over you was incredibly rare and you knew it was because your focus was elsewhere. 

“Incoming,” Rooster said suddenly, slipping away to get a fresh drink and you looked after him confused until suddenly your vision was clouded by Jake’s figure.

“Hey kiddo, what’s up?” he asked, slinging an arm over your shoulder as he pulled you over to the bar as well and you gave him a forced smile.

“Nothing new, you?” you replied and he gave you a strange look as he held up two fingers to Penny.

“That’s not what I meant, you seem different tonight.” 

“Just a long day, I guess,” you shrugged and he nodded but didn’t really buy it. 

“You sure that’s all it is?” he asked as he used his fingers to tilt your head towards him, forcing you to make eye contact and you gave a sharp nod.

“I’m fine, Jake,” you said, brushing off his contact, “I’m just going to go grab some air, thanks for the beer,” you said, grabbing the bottle and slipping through the crowd where you nearly stumbled out into the fresh air. You took in a deep breath, letting the smell of the ocean ground you as you chastised yourself for your behavior… he was just asking how you were, making sure you were okay, there was no reason to blow him off like that. You just couldn’t help it, you felt cornered and you were sure if he asked you again you were going to blurt out what you’d been trying so hard to tamp down.

“What is going on with you?” you heard from behind you and you jumped slightly as you turned to see Jake and you let out a sigh as you wiped a hand over your forehead. “Come on, kid, talk to me.”

“I’m not a kid,” you muttered and you felt embarrassed. You knew you were being indignant for no real reason. 

“You know that’s not what I- what’s wrong?” he asked, deciding to not let yourselves get sidetracked over something trivial.

“I told you, just a long day.” you tried but he was seeing right through you, he could tell just by looking at your eyes that there was something bothering you and he wanted to get to the bottom of it.

“Why have you been avoiding me?”

“I’m not,” you answered defensively, turning your attention back to the ocean as you leaned over the railing and he scoffed as he followed suit.

“I can’t help if you don’t tell me what’s going on. Did I do something?”

“I don’t need help, Jake.”

“I thought we were past this, since when do you not talk to me?” he pleaded and you did your best to avoid looking at him but you couldn’t help yourself and your resolve crumbled as soon as you met those green eyes. “What’s wrong?

“Since I-” you stopped for a moment, trying to come up with any plausible excuse or continuation of that sentence that wasn’t the truth but it just came flying out. “Everything’s wrong!” you nearly shouted and you didn’t miss the way he was taken aback. “Literally everything because I am so into you and you’re obviously into Phoenix which is great, but not so much for me at the moment. I’m handling it and I’m fine but I can’t really talk to you about that.”

“Wait what?” he asked, confusion clear on his face and you winced at the prospect of explaining yourself.

“I just… we don’t need to talk about it, Jake. I don’t want to talk about it,” you replied, turning your head back towards the water.

“No, I want to talk about it. Who the hell said I was into Phoenix?” he asked and this had your attention snapping back to him.

“You did, with your body language and the banter,” you said and you heard how stupid it was as it left your mouth and you watched him stifle a laugh. 

“Oh sweetheart,” he said and it came out rather patronizing, making your cheeks burn as you willed the tears to stay put until he was out of your sight. “Oh hey, no no no.” he said, noticing your eyes well up, “I didn’t mean it like that. I’m not into Phoenix.”

“You’re not?” you asked and he shook his head. 

“I’m into you,” he said, wrapping a hand around your forearm and pulling you away from the railing, closer to him. “I’ve been trying to tell you but I kept chickening out… Phoenix has actually been egging me on, telling me to just get it over with,” he said and your eyes widened. “I’ve liked you since the first day I met you but you’re too sweet, too good. I didn’t think you’d want anything to do with me,” he said with a shrug and you shook your head.

“I feel pretty stupid right now,” you chuckled. “I thought you wanted nothing to do with me because you always call me kid.”

“It’s easier to pretend I don’t want to kiss you every time I see you if I call you kid instead of sweetheart.” He yanked you closer, pressing your body against his as his hands settled on your waist and you wrapped your arms around his neck.

“Well, you don’t have to pretend anymore,” you said with a small smirk and his lips were on yours in an instant. You melted into him, letting him take the lead and you moaned softly when his tongue trailed along your bottom lip. You soaked up as much of this feeling as you could… his hands gripping your body, his tongue exploring your mouth, and the way your whole body tingles from head to toe before he pulled away to grin down at you.

“So, sweetheart… Can I take you on a date?” he asked hopefully and you nodded.

“Yeah, I would really like that… but I was also thinking you could take me home?” you asked with a suggestive raise of your eyebrows and he was quick to wrap his hand around yours and tug you to his car.

“I like the way you think.” 

taglist: @callsignspirit @thegodessc @failuretothrivesstuff @olliepig @cruelmissdior @underaveragefangirl @grxcieluvr @amatswimming @camilaricci​ (if your name is struck through it means I couldn’t tag you - sorry!)

[multifandomfix]

Cersei Lannister Smut Alphabet

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Don’t expect much from Cersei after sex besides a list of demands. The only aftercare she really cares about is her own.

B = Body part (favorite body part of their partner’s)

Your hands or your mouth, whichever happens to be bringing her pleasure at the time. And when you’re down between her legs, you’re blissfully quiet.

C = Collar (do they mark you as theirs in some way?)

Most definitely. She needs everyone to know that you are to be hers and no one else’s. It will most likely come in the form of a necklace that bears the House Lannister crest.

D = Dominant (who is in control? are they a top or bottom?)

Cersei, though often on the receiving end, is still the one who’s in charge. Even when you’re on top, you’re following her orders.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

She knows what she’s doing well enough and when she does decide to give, you can’t ever say you’ve been disappointed.

F = Fuck (do they prefer to fuck or make love?)

She prefers to fuck. Feelings only inhibit the act for her, and she’d prefer not to have to deal with them and just give herself over to the sensation of pleasure.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

She’s always stone cold serious during. It’s an exchange to her, not a bonding exercise.

H = Hot (what turns them on, gets them going)

You getting on your knees for her, telling her how much you desire her is usually a good staring point for her.

I = Insatiable (how do they act when they’re desperate to have you?)

Demanding, more so than usual. She can also become quite irritable if you aren’t there when the urge strikes her.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Why bother pleasing herself when she has you running to her beck and call whenever and wherever she needs you most.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Begging. She adores when you beg, whether it’s to let you finish, or if you’re begging to be allowed to touch her. Either way, it’s a huge turn on for her.

L = Location (favorite places to have sex)

Mostly her chambers, but anywhere she can pull you aside long enough to service her needs will work in a pinch.

M = Mood (what’s the foreplay like? how do you get them in the mood?)

Usually there isn’t a lot of foreplay with Cersei. She’s typically already in the mood when she calls on you, and you are left to get yourself on her level.

N = Naked (how do they undress? do they like to watch you undress?)

She doesn’t make a show of undressing herself, and is typically already naked when you arrive or simply hikes up her dress to allow you access. But she does love watching you undress for her while she gives you a mix of both praise and degradation. “Such a good whore for your queen,” is a favorite line of hers.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

She much prefers to receive, but has surprising skill in giving when you get lucky enough to be on the receiving end.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

If giving, she tends to be more fast and rough with her pace. But when receiving she does like you to take your time with her.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Quickies are just fine by her if the need is desperate enough to call for one. Sometimes she likes them in a more public location just to see if you can get away with it before being caught.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

She doesn’t take a lot of risks, nor does she experiment much, because she already knows what she likes and isn’t one to mix it up frequently.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

She typically likes anywhere from one to three rounds. Sometimes more if she has extra frustrations that she needs to work out.

T = Tryst (are they into casual sex or one night stands?)

Not really. She has a reputation to maintain and it’s much easier to have someone who knows her and what she likes to keep coming back when she needs it.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Cersei is a huge tease and really makes you earn your orgasm by edging you for hours.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Cersei isn’t super loud as a rule, but she isn’t shy about voicing her instructions to you or letting her moans come out at whatever volume they may.

W = Wait (how long do they wait before having sex with their partner for the first time?)

As soon as she could confirm that you were looking at her like you desired her is when she first ordered you to her bed.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Cersei has definitely earned her reputation as one of the most beautiful women in Westeros. She has a nice body and loves when you take the time to admire it.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

It depends on her mood and her stress level. Sometimes she’s practically insatiable, other times she won’t call on you for weeks.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Quite quickly. As soon as you’ve tended to her, given her whatever she desires afterwards, she’s usually asleep very shortly thereafter.

For anon

Cersei Lannister: @riveranddoctorsong123, @yreat, @hc-geralt-23, @floresferae, @geekyandgay98, @lady-darkswan3, @abitchnamedtia

[humanbug]

Inky Hearts pt.2

Modern!Ellie is a tattoo artist and you just became her lovely little muse.

a/n: whoaaa part 2!!! this one gets exciting!! i am not sure if ill make a part 3. i was gonna put abby in this but it just didn't feel like the right storyline. this is proofread but also written at like 4am soooo there might be mistakes. comments, and reblogs are appreciated!! my asks are open for requests or just to chat!! i hope you enjoy!!

| NSFW 18+ MDNI |

Songs mentioned: Down the Line by Beach Fossils, Spooky by Dusty Springfield, Left Hand Free by alt-J

warning(s): smoking/weed, y/n is used (only once), SMUT!!!, oral (r!receiving), sex while high (both parties consenting)

“God! C’mon don’t be such a baby and just ask her!” 

“Would you let it go! I’m not gonna do anything. We’re just friends.”, you say for what feels like the millionth time. “For now!”, she retorts. You lean back in your seat laughing as Bailey’s face twists at your stubbornness. Knowing she’s right but being way too stubborn to give her that satisfaction. 

You and her had decided to grab coffee, realizing it had been too long since you had spent time together. She had seen your most recent instagram post and texted you a string of texts including the words, ‘bitch’ ‘cutie’ ‘skank’ and ‘hottie’, which was pretty typical given that you had been friends since high school. 

It had been about three weeks since you got your tattoo and you and Ellie had been texting almost every single day. You had made up the ‘smooth’ excuse of "My ig dm notifs don’t come through :( can we text instead?”, hoping that the small fib worked. Luck was on your side because just like that you had her number and before you knew it you two were choosing to facetime instead of text. Neither of you had realized it, but you were both building up the courage to ask the other out. Although neither of you were successful, typing out the message and deleting them right after. 

You had told Bailey about the hottest tattoo artist you had ever had. How you had definitely been flirting during your appointment and how much Ellie undercharged you, still angry about that part. She immediately began trying to convince you to ask her out but you had said over and over again that you are just friends…for now. 

Putting her elbows on the table, “So anyway stubborn bitch! Did you hear who Sophia started dating!?”. You and her gossip and talk absolute filth about all the people you know, laughing and cringing at your bullying. 

–

“Oh my god! She is so lying! You have to call her out-”, Bailey starts, face quickly morphing into confusion as your cheeks flush and you mumble ‘oh my god!’. Looking down at your drink, trying to become invisible you whisper, “Bailey that’s her!”. 

Being the ever so subtle person she is, she whips her head over her left shoulder, looking back at you with her mouth in a big ‘O’ shape. “She’s SO hot! Oh my god! You absolutely have to ask her out. I’m definitely not taking no for an answer after seeing her in person.”, she exclaims, peering over her shoulder a few more times.

Given that it’s a rather loud coffee shop and you and Bailey are tucked into the corner, you try not to be disappointed that she hadn't seen you as she grabs a tray of four drinks and walks out. 

Twiddling with your rings you chew on your bottom lip, “You know what? Fuck it. I’m gonna ask her to hang out.”, you state, the authority in your voice is not the most convincing but fuckin’ fake it till’ you make it, right? 

–

Your thumbs hover over your keyboard. Taking a deep breath you hit send. Tossing your phone to the foot of your bed as if it’s a bomb and falling back against your pillows, arms covering your face. Closing your eyes, your mind wanders back to your tattoo appointment. The way her hands felt over your plush thighs, the way you had to pull your panties higher so she could access your skin and how, unknowingly to you, she had eyed the way it created a perfect outline of your cunt causing her mouth to water, the way her brows furrowed when she was in deep focus. Starting to imagine the way her strong hands would feel lowering down and-  

Shooting up at the feeling of your phone vibrating your hands dig through the sheets to find it. Sliding it open you pull the notification screen down, not wanting to open the text just yet. 

✯Ellie✯ : hey! ya i would like that, this week is super packed for…

‘Damn it! Okay, I have to open it.’

✯Ellie✯ : hey! ya i would like that, this week is super packed for me. i am booked up almost everyday butttt maybe you could come by the shop? if you don’t want too that’s totally cool

Biting back a smile at her rambling, excitement bubbles inside you as you respond. Typing out a message and deleting it several times, anxiety making your palms sweaty and heart race.

✿Y/N✿ : Yes! That would be perfect! Just let me know when you have a break! :) 

–

Bopping your head to Down the Line as you drive through the intersection just before the tattoo shop. Parking your car in the lot across the street you pull the mirror down checking over yourself. Grabbing your two bags and water bottle you head across the street to the shop. 

Opening the door and stepping inside you walk over the front desk. The girl with dark hair is there talking with another girl with black hair in a short choppy haircut and bangs. The girl you have never seen before sports several piercings. Walking up hesitantly, not wanting to interrupt their conversation, the girl with longer dark hair turns to you with a warm smile.

“Hi! How can we help you?”, she asks in a kind voice.

“I’m here for Ellie! I don’t uh- have an appointment but she should be expecting me!”, you say quietly not wanting to sound like a walk-in demanding to see Ellie. Feeling the girl with black eyeing you intensely, your cheeks flush. 

“For sure! She should be at her station, her client just left. You can just head back.”, giving her an appreciative smile, you walk through the curtained work stations, hearing the buzz of guns and low chatter.  

Peaking your head into her station you see her sitting on the rolling chair, sketching something on her iPad. She hasn’t noticed you just yet so you observe her in her element. Her hair is tied half up half down, the short choppy strands falling around her face. You wonder how someone can make black jeans and a loose t-shirt look so good. Clearing your throat and smiling as your eyes meet.

“Hey! Perfect timing! I’ve got like an hour and a half before my next client.”, swiveling around as she speaks. 

Holding up one of the two bags in your arms you take a step forward, “Um- I brought you lunch. I- I figured pasta was a safe option so I brought pesto pasta with sun-dried tomatoes!”

Ellie can feel the appreciation practically running through her veins, not remembering the last time someone made lunch for her. Her lips curve as she runs a hand over the back of her neck. 

“That- You are too sweet. I really wasn’t expecting you to bring me lunch. There’s a table out back, let’s eat out there?”, she says as she gets up, closing her iPad and pocketing her phone. 

Giving her a bright smile you nod your head. Following her out of the shop you admire her physique from behind.

‘Does this girl look good from every angle? Yes. Yes, she does.’

–

“Holy fuck! Did you make this!?”, she exclaims, savoring the pasta. 

“Well- uh- not exactly! It’s from Trader Joe's! But it’s my favorite pasta kind of ever. I’m really glad you like it!”, you giggle as you explain the pasta is unfortunately not homemade.

“Well Joe knows how to make some good fucking pasta.”, she says with a mouthful of noodles. Laughing at the green-eyed goofy girl in front of you as you take a bite of your pasta. 

‘Just ask! Don’t be a baby!’, your belly flips as you work up the courage.

Fiddling with your rings and glancing up, just to see her already looking at you, “So…what are you doing Saturday? My friend Bailey is having a small party at her place and I was uh- I was wondering if you wanted to come? With me, of course- or not of course. Just with me.”, you ramble out.

Giving a cocky smile at your nervousness, she tries her damndest to conceal her own racing heart and sweaty palms, “That sounds perfect. I’d love to go. With you, of course.”, her response taking a teasing tone. 

Giggling at your own embarrassing rambling you bite back a smile, “I will pick you up at five. It’s nothing fancy, just a casual thing. I am planning on bringing weed.”

“Just a casual thing, perfect.”, she hums with a smile.

–

Tying the laces of your docs you rush out of your apartment. Checking your phone and cursing at the time, it was four fifty and Ellie’s place was about fifteen minutes away. Rushing through the halls, your purse clutched in one hand, phone under your chin, and yanking your jacket on. 

–

Pulling up the address that Ellie had sent you, you send a voice memo that you are parked out front. You have Spooky playing low as you drum your fingers on the steering wheel. Glancing around you see Ellie rushing down the steps on the porch. Shamelessly running your hungry eyes over her. She wears a pair of light-wash black jeans, sitting perfectly on her legs, not too loose and not too baggy, a black hoodie, and black converse. 

You can’t help but grin as you realize you match. You had chosen an all black outfit too. Finding your favorite black skirt to show off all of the art on your legs, black tights to compensate for the chilly night air, a snug black cropped shirt that showed off a perfect amount of cleavage and your leather jacket. 

“Well don’t you clean up well!”, you tease as she slides into the car, sharing a smile as she chuckles. As she buckles up you hand her your phone, “Put whatever you want on! Bailey’s is like twenty minutes away.”

Ellie finally takes the chance to glance at you. Feeling desire pool in her belly as she sees what you’re wearing. How your hands maneuver the steering wheel, rings and manicured nails tapping along to Left Hand Free. How your skirt has ridden up your plush thighs sitting dangerously high. How the skirt hugs your soft belly and your top shows enough skin to see the glimpse of a tattoo and how it hugs your tits perfectly. Fucking hell, she know’s she ogeling but can’t find it in her to give a shit. She is torn from her trance when she realizes you're leaning dangerously close. Her freckled cheeks flush and she clears her throat when you reach in the back seat and lean back with your purse in hand. Oh. You arrived at the party, Ellie hadn’t even realized you parked. 

You step out of the car and shimmy your skirt back down and smooth your hair out. Ellie steps out and looks over at you, admiring you even more. Thank god it’s getting dark and you can’t see her beet red face. 

“You ready? We’re a tiny bit late so Bailey is probably gonna chew me out but she’s a sweetheart I promise.”, you assure her as you both walk up to the house. Stepping through the door the house is warm with bodies, liquor, and weed. It is not painfully packed but nonetheless you grasp Ellie’s hand in yours and make your way to the kitchen, saying ‘hi’ to most of the people you pass. 

“You’re late bitch! And because you’re late you owe me a shot!”Bailey's voice fills the kitchen, she clearly started partying a long time ago. Stepping over to her you give her a hug, her bright pink outfit a stark contrast against your black one. 

“Anything you want babe! But first, Bailey, this is Ellie. Ellie, this is Bailey, my best friend!”, you exclaim loud enough to be heard through the voices filling the space. 

–

“You’ve been quiet.”, you say as you and Ellie finally escape the kitchen. Finding your way to the room you knew would be a lot more chilled out. 

“Have I?”, she hums, walking behind you practically being your shadow. 

Finding exactly what you were looking for, you plop down onto the couch, toeing your heavy boots off, shifting to face where Ellie sits and draping your legs over hers. 

‘Oh boy, that shot worked quick!’

“Yeah, you have! Is everything okay?”, you ask, tilting your head. 

“Yeah, I’m good! I think I just get a little anxious at parties.”, she says quietly, almost seeming embarrassed. Your bottom lip pokes out and you grab her hand that was resting on your legs, thumb circling her knuckles.

“It’s okay! I get it. If you wanna head out just let me know! No shame, I swear. Or we can get some fresh air! Or just chill here!”, you get lost in your ramble a little, wanting to make sure she knows there’s no pressure for anything. 

Looking at you she chuckles, “You’re cute when you ramble, you know that?”, grinning when you blush and look down to fiddle with her fingers. 

You have the sudden realization you brought weed! 

“You wanna smoke?”, you ask, looking up at her with wide-eyes. 

“Now we’re talking. Yes. Yes, I do.”, she grins.

–

“And- and so- and then- she-”, you are laughing too hard to finish your own story, stomach cramping from how hard you’re laughing. 

Ellie’s head is thrown back in laughter finding your lack of composure funnier than the story you were telling. 

It seemed after every puff of the joint you two shared you would somehow end up closer. Now as the roach has been tossed onto the coffee table in front of you two, you are practically tangled together. 

Finally gaining some composure, you look at her, hands tangled together as you lean against her. 

“Okay! Okay! I’ve got a good one, what was your first time getting high like?”, you ask, face inching closer as the questions go by. 

She lets out a breathy laugh, remembering the painfully embarrassing memory.

“Fuck…okay so me and my friend Dina decided to get high together for the first time-”

“Is that the girl who works the front desk at the shop!”, you interrupt cluelessly high.

She chuckles and gently grasps your chin, tilting your head to look at her with red rimmed eyes, “Yes it is but are you gonna let me finish my story, hm?”, she teases you in a gentle tone but nonetheless it makes you rub your thighs together. Ellie’s eyes flicker down at the motion, quickly darting back up.

Nodding your head with a quiet hum you zip your lips and give her your full attention. She chuckles and releases your chin, her hand going back into your tangle of fingers. 

“So we decided to get high together for the first time and we were idiots who thought’ Let's do an edible for our first time getting high!’, but we ate…the whole fucking thing”, she chuckles at the ‘uh oh’ face you make at her.

“Yeah, so it went about as bad as you can imagine. We had no clue just how fucking strong edibles are especially when you eat the whole god damn brownie! Dina ended up sitting in the tub the whole time because she insisted it was the only place she was safe. On the other hand I thought I was fucking dying but was too nervous to tell my Dad what we had done…so we just waited it out and to this day it felt like I was high for seventy-two hours straight.”, she finishes laughing and shaking her head at how stupid they were.

A laugh spills out of you and you fall into Ellie’s chest in laughter, “That is terrible! You poor poor stupid kids!”. As your laughter fades you find yourself melting into her chest and laying your head against her.

Loving the feeling of your body pressed flush against hers she brings her left arm up and around your body keeping you close to her. Feeling a calm confidence from the weed floating through your body you tilt your head up, faces so close you can feel her breath. Leaning forward you place your lips on hers, sighing when her hand that was around you wraps in your hair and pulls in. Your tongues meet each other is a match for desperation, her hands wandering and resting at the edge of your skirt. Your hips unconsciously shift toward her hand and your lips begin to travel to her jaw and her neck, switching between kisses and love bites that make Ellie shudder and grip your body.

Kissing up to her ear you gently nip at it, whisper, “Take me to the bathroom.”. Smirking when your whispering causes her to shiver.

–

As soon as the door is shut you are back on each other. Kissing in a frenzy. You nip at her bottom lip with a smile. Her lips meet your neck with kisses and bites, pulling moans and whines from you. She grabs your waist and you jump onto the counter behind you. You shiver as her kisses and bites move toward your chest as she leaves even more marks on you. 

“You’re so fucking beautiful.”, she mumbles against your skin, singing praises into your body. Lust floods your lower belly and you can feel the embarrassing puddle forming in your panties. A gasp escapes you at the feeling of her ripping your tights, fingers finding your weeping cunt. 

“Fuck baby. All this for me? Fuck you’re makin’ such a mess already.”, she speaks against your skin. The feeling of her lips on your skin, her words making you shiver, and her fingers teasing you over your panties is too much but not enough. 

“Ellie please.”, you whine out, feeling desperate. She chuckles at your state, feeling proud at how fucked out you look and she hadn’t even taken off your panties. 

“What baby? Tell me what you want.”, she mumbles against your lips, holding eye contact.

“Please touch me!”, you whimper, feeling shameless at the admission. 

“Such a good fucking girl.”, she praises as she pulls your panties aside and teases your sensitive clit with her thumb. Pulling at your tights she mumbles, “Take these off.”

You wiggle your tights off kicking them away and lift your butt as Ellie pulls your panties off, tossing them with your tights. A loud whine comes from you as Ellie drops to her knees and lets her tongue find your swollen clit. Hands needing to hold something you let one find her hair and the other palms your tits through your shirt.

“Fuck you taste so fucking good baby.”, she says in a raspy voice. 

Her hands wrap around your thighs, fingers pressing into the soft flesh, as she pulls you to the very edge of the counter giving her even more space to devour you. The band in your lower belly stretches more and more. 

Your eyes are hooded and cloudy as you look down and the band stretches even more when you see Ellie already looking at you. Tears blur your vision as the eye contact seems to spur her even more. Low moans of satisfaction escaping her throat.

“F-fuck! Oh my god-”, you moan and realize how loud you’re getting so you cover your mouth with your hand, only letting quiet whimpers and whines escape you. 

Ellie flattening her tongue and holding the same perfect motion against your clit causes the band to finally snap. Your cunt clenches around nothing and your vision blurs as you throw your head back, thighs shaking and cramping. 

Ellie is relentless with her tongue causing your whole body to tremble from overstimulation. Your hands roughly thread through her hair trying to pull her back as pathetic whines escape you.

“S’too much! Ellie- ple- please! Too sensitive!”, you whine and whimper, practically in tears. 

She pulls back, chuckling at your fucked out state. Breathing heavily you look down as she stands, her lips and chin shiny from your slick. She looks like a fucking god the way she is smirking at you while covered in you. Reaching out you run your thumb over her chin and bring it to your mouth, holding eye contact. 

“Fuckin’ hell baby.”, she mumbles.

Grabbing handfuls of her hoodie you yank her into a deep kiss, tasting yourself on her tongue. Your hands fumble down to her jeans, undoing the button when a hand grabs your wrists earning a whine from you.

“Please Els. Wanna touch you.”, you whimper, giving your best puppy eyes. She chuckles, leaning down and kissing your neck, wrists still bound in her hands.

“Lemme take care of you tonight baby. I promise there’ll be time for me later.”, she mumbles, lips ghosting your ear. You pout but give a reluctant nod.

Gently pulling you off the counter and laughing at your dizzy head and wobbly legs. She tosses your torn tights in the trash and pockets your panties with a smirk. You give her wide eyes and stretch your hand out.

“Give those back! This skirt is too short for no panties!”, you say shimmying it down the best you can.

“Good thing we’re heading out then, huh? No one out there gets to see your pretty cunt but me baby don’t worry.”, she says and guides you out hand in hand.

taglist:

@ucannotcompare

[love-and-greta]

Bubble Bath

The newest addition to my collection of Josh fluff. Enjoy :)

Warnings: mainly fluff, some nudity (18+ please and thank you)

____________________________________________

For the fourth time this week, you sat alone at the dining table eating dinner for one, staring at the empty place setting across from you. You knew it wasn’t Josh’s fault that he had to stay late working in the studio recently, but knowing that didn’t help to cure the loneliness you’d been feeling.

One more week of this, and the album should be done. You thought to yourself. You can do this. Just one more week.

You glanced at the door one last time before deciding to clean up, and headed to bed.

The next week dragged on and your decision to work some overtime to help pass the time only made you more exhausted and mentally drained. Once again, you were dreading your evening alone at home, so you decided tonight you would do a little self care to try to pep up some.

You were just finishing making dinner when you heard your phone ring. Knowing Josh would most likely get stuck working late in the studio again, you assumed he was calling to tell you he wouldn’t make it home to eat with you.

“There’s my sweet girl,” Josh sighed as you answered the phone. “How are you doing today babe?”

“Honestly? Shitty. I’m feeling pretty worn out. I’m gonna take a bath after dinner and go straight to bed.” Normally you opted for optimism when talking to Josh, knowing he struggled with the separation as well, but you didn’t try to hide the exhaustion in your voice now.

There was a small pause before Josh spoke again. “I know this has been a long couple of weeks. But I’ll make it up to you, I promise.” The disappointment in his voice was palpable, making you feel slightly guilty for feeling the way you did.

“Please don’t worry about me J. I know it’s not your fault,” you spoke softly. “I’m just very ready for you to home with me. I miss my cuddle buddy…”

“I miss you too Birdie,” Josh replied quietly. “Listen, I have to go, but I’ll see you soon, okay?”

“Okay, see you soon…”

“I love you y/n.”

“I love you too J…” You put down your phone, turned your attention back to your food, and slowly ate your meal, eyes glued to the plate, not once glancing across the table to the empty chair.

You moved around the kitchen in a daze after eating, cleaning up the mess you had made while cooking. As you finished up at the kitchen sink, you were pulled from your exhausted state by the sound of running water. You glanced at the faucet questioning whether you had actually turned it off or not, when you realized it was coming from down the hall. You hesitantly peered down the hall from the safety of the archway leading into the kitchen and saw white rose petals making a path into your bedroom. Your favorite flower.

Josh.

How on earth did he get in without you hearing him, you thought to yourself. Despite your confusion, you couldn’t help but run into your bedroom to see if he was really there. You froze, taking in the scene before you. The room was cast in a soft glow by candles that had been scattered all around and rose petals were strewn across the bed. Music was playing softly from the record player in the corner. Josh must have come straight home after our phone call and snuck in without me seeing, you guessed. You couldn’t help the tears that formed in your eyes from discovering this surprise. Your heart swelled at the thought of Josh doing this for you, despite him having a ton of work to do in the studio. You heard the floor board creak and quickly spun around.

“Hey Birdie.” Josh stood in the bathroom doorway with a bouquet of flowers, a small smile spreading across his face, crinkling the corners of his eyes.

“Josh, what are you doing here?” You asked breathlessly, taking a few steps towards him.

“I miss you, you miss me,” he replied, his smile widening. “Plus I would be stupid to miss an opportunity to take a hot bath with my incredibly sexy girlfriend.”

“Yeah that would be pretty stupid of you,” you giggled, grabbing onto Josh’s shirt and pulling him towards you. You peeked over his shoulder into the bathroom to see a similar setting as your bedroom. Again, candles were glowing from every possible surface and rose petals were floating amongst the many bubbles in the bathtub.

“You did all of this for me?”, you wondered aloud.

Josh pushed your body back slightly to look into your eyes. “Of course I did Birdie. I know it’s hard sometimes when I’m away, so I wanted to do something nice for you, to show you how much I appreciate all your support. You deserve it babe.” Josh kissed your lips softly and laced his fingers into yours.

“Now let’s get into that tub while it’s still hot,” Josh smiled and pulled you into the bathroom.

He placed you in front of the mirror and stood behind you, placing a soft kiss on the exposed bit of skin just between your neck and shoulder. He began to slowly unbutton the front of your blouse, pulling it open to reveal your lace bralette.

“God, you’re so beautiful,” Josh muttered softly, slowly skimming his fingers across your stomach. “You deserve the world y/n.”

You leaned your head back against his chest, sighing at the gentle touch. Josh peppered kisses along your now bare shoulders and reached down to unbutton your trousers. The slow seductive pace in which he pulled your trousers and lace underwear down sent shivers throughout your whole body. You watched Josh’s now hooded eyes drinking you in through the mirror, as he slowly ran his hands up from your outer thighs to the back of your bra.

“May I?”, Josh asked, grabbing onto the clasp to unfasten it.

You nodded you head slowly, not wanting to disturb the intimate energy in the room. You could tell Josh needed this just as much as you did. His need to touch you, to feel your soft skin on his fingertips, was very evident by the look of pure lust and adoration in his eyes.

Once Josh had you completely undressed, you turned to face him, wrapping your arms around his neck to return the favor. You began by taking off his long beaded necklace, placing it on the counter behind you. Josh lifted his arms to help you take his crewneck off and watched you as you unlatched his belt buckle. You placed a soft kiss on his navel before pulling down his pants and boxer briefs. Josh pulled you up, immediately cupping both sides of your face, touching his forehead to yours.

“I’ve missed this so much,” Josh whispered against your lips.

Not being able to hold back any longer, you crushed your lips against his, kissing him deeply. Josh moaned quietly, pulling you in even closer, moving his lips to the sensitive spot just below your ear.

“Let’s get into the bath now, yeah?”, you managed to mutter. You could feel Josh’s lips pull into a smile as he gave you one last kiss.

“Okay, okay.” Josh stepped into the tub, and pulled you into a seated position right between his legs. You leaned back onto his chest, sighing at the feeling of the warm water on your skin. The stress of the previous few weeks slowly began to melt away as you relaxed into Josh’s body. You closed your eyes, soaking in the feeling of Josh’s fingertips making slow trails up and down your arms.

“I could spend a lifetime here in this bath with you Birdie,” Josh hummed against your cheek.

“And what’s stopping you?”, you answered softly.

Josh ran his fingers down your left arm, slowly lacing his fingers into yours. He brought your hand up to his mouth, brushing your ring finger against his lips.

“Absolutely nothing mama…”

[jhilsara]

I Can See You

Pt. 1/ Pt. 2/ Pt. 3/ Pt. 4/ Pt. 5/pt. 6/Pt. 7/Pt. 8/Pt. 9/ Pt. 10/

Pt. 11/ Pt.12/Pt.13/Pt. 14/Pt.15/Pt.16/Pt.17/END

Mariana Jimenez-Watson or MJ works in a normal pub living life paycheck to paycheck. Nothing exciting happens to her except the occasional drunk getting thrown out. She’s 24 working away and finds a wrench thrown into her very boring life. His name is Hobie and she thinks maybe, a little excitement isn’t awful. In fact she might start to crave some change for once.

Small moments of Hobie meeting his world’s MJ. AKA I made an MJ variant and I think she’s neat.

Chapter 17

It’s been a full month since the Goblin incident. Mariana’s been home, cast on her broken leg and a scowl on her face as she stares down at her phone.

Hobie’s pulled a disappearing act, like she was afraid of. He’s been texting her, but it’s always short. He’s mostly checking in, to see if she needs anything. Which she finds hysterical since he hasn’t stepped foot in her flat since before she was in the hospital.

She growls to herself and slams her phone down pulling her laptop onto her lap.

Back to job hunting, it’s somehow less stressful that waiting for Hobie to text her.

The pub exploded. Her home for the past four years…just gone overnight. Luckily no one died, but a good amount of people were in the A&E that night.

The owner of the pub called her, alongside her coworkers, he’s just taking the insurance money. He won’t reopen. It leaves a hole in her heart…alongside the sinking pit in her stomach, feeling guilt over being the reason the pub was attacked to begin with. It’s her fault.

She can’t think about it for longer than necessary, or she’ll cry.

She’s been pouring herself into job hunting. Not much else she could do with her broken leg. She hasn’t ever bothered looking for jobs in her field, she picked up the pub job while she was in university and just…never left. Her degree in journalism just sat untouched. She once upon a time was invested in reporting and getting good stories. Turns out people who frequent pubs are filled with good stories.

Now, she wonders if she should use her degree.

She’s been staring at the job listing for a staff reporter for the Daily Bugle. The pay is surprisingly okay, but she did her internship there and she remembers J. Jonah Jameson and he was, to put it politely, a colorful character. To be precise, he was a dick.

She sighs and bites her tongue before just applying. Worst case scenario she keeps looking. Best case she has income again. That’s all she really needs.

She’ll just have to wait and see.

Her phone buzzes and she grabs it quickly, her heart pounding.

It’s just Andy. She sighs in slight disappointment before grabbing her phone and texting her friend back.

Hobie’s fighting a losing battle in his own head. He’s been avoiding Mariana, and he knows he shouldn’t. He knows what he promised her. That doesn’t stop the anger bubbling under the surface.

He hates himself for putting her in danger. She could have died and it would have been his fault.

He’s blowing steam off by working. He hasn’t stopped patrolling for days. He maybe crashed for a nap on top of a building at two in the morning but for the most part he’s been catching criminals.

Mostly petty crimes. Did the guy hot wiring someone’s car need a black eye? Probably not. Hobie doesn’t care though. He strings the guy up and moves onto the next. Using random criminal after criminal as a punching bag for his own self-loathing.

Definitely not his finest moment. He just doesn’t care.

The image of MJ rolling into the back of the emergency room, screaming for him with a broken leg, bruised and covered in soot and blood had made him snap in some way.

He didn’t waste any time, the anger and rage filling his body. He swings back to where the Gobin had fallen. Where the explosion had sent the villain flying to.

Hobie paces the ground, looking for anything left. He would make sure if the explosion didn’t kill the Goblin than he would. He wasn’t taking chances on them coming back again.

He’d do anything to keep Mariana safe.

Hobie finds what he’s looking for. Some abandoned parking lot with debris everywhere. The Goblin's form crashed down into a car, broken glass and blood pooling on the ground.

He walks over to the car to check for any sign of a pulse from the villain. The Goblin’s body is mangled. One of the arms is twisted in such a way it looks like it’s been ripped out of its socket and bent backwards. Their legs are gone completely, the explosive impact hitting them immediately. The Goblin’s definitely dead. If not from the fall, from blood loss.

He curls his hands into fists, his nails biting into his palms as he looks down at the villain. Hobie’s anger doesn’t fade with the knowledge that the monster is dead. It festers inside of him. Boiling over and begging to escape.

Hobie finds something to swing and uses his strength to break open the exposed gas tank of the car. He rips it out, pouring the old leftover gas onto the corpse of the Goblin. Hobie doesn’t think twice before pulling out a match and lighting the scene on fire.

He watches the fire burn, bright and intense, it doesn’t settle what brews deep in his chest. The burning he feels in the back of his throat.

That was a month ago.

He’s been avoiding MJ. He’s texted her, checking in on her. He avoids her questions though. He hasn’t seen her face to face, not while she’s awake anyway.

He doesn’t think he can bring himself to. All he’s done for her is bring her into his dangerous world as Spider-Man. It’s selfish if he wants her to stay.

 He’s not helping his own heart though when he visits her in the early hours of morning, hiding in the darkness of her room. He just needs to know she’s alive, breathing. It settles the unrest he has in his chest.

He’s put her in so many dangerous positions and he almost didn’t save her this last time. It makes his anxiety spike at just that idea. His brows furrow as he pushes her hair out of her peaceful sleeping face.

He physically can’t think about her dying. He doesn’t think he could recover from that. He needs her to be safe, he refuses to put her at risk anymore.

Hobie has to end this. He won’t put her in harms way and he won’t be the reason she dies. He refuses.

Mariana is hobbling around her home, already tired of being on crutches. It’s the middle of the night and she’s spent all day working on applying to jobs. She’s just spent. She just wants to heat up something to eat and go to bed.

She jumps when she hears knocking and she whips her head to look at her balcony. There on her balcony stood Hobie, and she doesn’t know if she’s ever seen him look worse.

She moves to the door, opening it for him. He slides in past her, unusually quiet as she assesses him. His eyes are dull and he has deep dark circles. He looks like he hasn’t been sleeping much if at all. His cheeks are hollower than ever and he looks worn. His

It enough to make her brace herself. The energy rolling off of him isn’t his usual and she hasn’t seen him in a month, she’s more than a little pissed herself.

The two stand in front of each other as the awkward silence fills the room. She wraps her arms around herself, almost to act like a shield.

Hobie takes a deep breath, and looks at her, “I can’t be with you. This,” he points between the two of them, “we can’t keep it up.” His voice is hard. His eyes avoiding her.

She bristles at his words, her face forming a scowl. “Excuse me?” she laughs in disbelief.

She barely notices it, but he flinches at her words. He sighs and looks in her eyes. “Mariana, please, don’t make me say it again.” His voice is low, and it shakes.

“No, no, you don’t get to come in here and demand for me to make this easy on you!” she shouts at him. Her face crumbling in hurt.

“You promised me Hobie. You promised you wouldn’t disappear on me again, you promised you wouldn’t!” She says, her voice raising with her hurt.

“I know what I promised and I can’t keep it!” He glares at the floor, burning holes into with how intense his gaze is. His eyes lift up to look at her.

“I only care about keepin’ ya safe MJ, and… if that means I’m not in your life…” His fists tighten, and he takes a step back. 

She steps forward after him, “Well I don’t care about that!” she tells him with a firm voice. “It’s my life Hobie!”

“And that’s the problem!” He says coldly.

She pauses at his words. “Ya don’t care about yourself,” He steps closer to her and grabs her arms, “Your safety, your life… it isn’t disposable to me Mariana.” He whispers pressing his forehead to her shoulder. His arms shaking.

She relaxes under his touch, feeling guilt wash over her. She reaches up to rub her hand reassuringly on his back.

“I can’t lose you Mariana… I- fuck- I love you.” He confesses his voice shaking as he uses her for support.

MJ gasps at his soft confession. Her head is spinning. She pulls back to make him look at her.

“I, Hobie…” She takes a deep breath. “I don’t have to think when it comes to helping you… it’s just intuitive. I put myself in the situation with the Goblin, I know that, and I’m sorry.” She tells him, stressing her words. She goes to move his hands, holding them tightly in hers.

Her throats tight as she looks up at him, and how he’s obviously worried himself sick the past month. His dark eyes have bags and his face is slimmer. His knuckles are raw and scared with fresh scabs. He’s torturing himself.

“I know that you don’t think I’m careful, and I’m not.” She’s taking fast and stumbling over her words. She gives a breathy laugh that’s hollow, “I don’t think about me when it involves you because, Hobie,” she takes a shaky breath trying to find her words. “you’re the most important person in my life.” She squeezes his hands, she brings one of her hands up to cup his face.

She feels the churning in her stomach, the fear and dread of doubt ebbing its head in. She pushes it aside. She has to be honest.

“I love you, Hobie, more than anything so please, please don’t shut me out.” She whispers to him. 

He doesn’t pause to let her words sink in, he doesn’t gasp, he just surges forward. He cups her face pulling her to meet him. His mouth finding hers in a rushed and needy kiss.

It’s not like any of the few times he’s kissed her before. It’s desperate in a way she’s never experienced from him. His mouth moves against hers, pressing into her, coaxing open her mouth.

Her arms move up to wrap around his shoulders. She pulls him tightly against her, meeting his force with a wave of her own. Her tongue meets his, as they press together.

Hobie’s hands start moving from holding her face to traveling down her body. He moves to grasp her thighs lifting them to wrap around him. He carries her over to the couch, pushing them both down.

He presses his hips into hers, pinning her into the couch as they both rake their hands over the other. Her hands move to caress down his chest. Gripping onto his shirt.

Hobie finally pulls back, the need for oxygen winning, as he looks down at her. His pupils blown, and his eyes almost looking black.

Her eyes are just as wild, her maroon hair fanning out around her. Framing her almost like a halo.

She takes a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. She needs him in a way that she’s only fantasized about.

His eyes bore into her and his hands tighten on her hips. He takes a breath, and he moves to press a kiss into her neck. She grips the back of his neck, gasping for air. His mouth moves against her neck, licking and nipping, moving his mouth back up to her lips.

He kisses her just as fiercely as before, one hand moving up to hold her jaw, pulling her closer.

She arches her back to slot herself against him, trying to get herself impossibly closer to him.

When Hobie pulls back this time, he presses a few more kisses to her cheeks then her jaw. He holds himself up, hovering above her, looking down softly. His chest heaving as he tries to regulate his breaths.

Mariana lays under him, hands still tightly gripping his shirt. She’s looking up at him, out of breath through half lidded eyes. She uncurls one of her hands to caress his face tenderly. A small smile taking over her lips.

He lets out an easy chuckle as he looks at her, eyes filled with adoration.

“Why do you have to make everything so difficult?” he whispers leaning into the soft touch of her hand.

She scoffs but keeps her smile. Her gaze just as loving as his. “I think you like that I’m difficult… keeps you on your toes.” She teases him, her voice quiet.

He shakes his head, brows furrowed, “What am I going to do with you?” He replies back, half serious half playful.

She moves her hands to cradle his face, her face looking the most vulnerable he’s ever seen her as she replies, “Love me.”

Her voice is timid, but she believes the words she’s saying as she looks up at him expectantly.

He gives her a wide smile, “That’s an easy answer.” He says leaning down to kiss her again, this time much softer.

They still had things to talk about. Hobie’s worry for her safety wasn’t going to disappear overnight, neither was their own self loathing they feel into in the darkest hours.

All of it could wait, at least until after tonight.

Tonight, they were in love. Wholly, fully, and honestly, they could admit the love they’ve desperately been avoiding since they saw each other in the pub.

Warmth filled Mariana’s heart as she reached up to wrap her arms tightly around Hobie. Like a moth to a bright burning flame she’s been pulled into him, body and soul. She clings to his warmth as her heart beats rapidly trying to escape her chest.

She’s never felt this intensely about someone before and while it should scare her, she’s never been happier. She doesn’t want this feeling to end.

Tag List: @missshelleyduvall

Message if you would like to be added to the tag list!

[critter-rarepair-reccs]

Happy Wednesday, friends! Hope you're all well. This week, we have seven recommendations for fics that are still being published! As always, you can find them below the cut and if you check any of them out, I encourage you to leave kudoes and comments to spread the rarepair love 💕

Three Card Spread by NephriteKnight (13,298 words, Explicit) Pairings: Mollymauk Tealeaf/Essek Thelyss (Shadowmauk), Mollymauk Tealeaf/Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast (Shadowidomauk) Warnings: Accidental Voyeurism

Caleb is in romantic relationships with both Molly and Essek, though the two of *them* aren’t together. Essek is certainly interested, but tries to keep his distance, unsure of if Molly feels the same. That is, until one night while Caleb’s away…

Reccer Says: It’s very sweet!!! Domestic Shadowidomauk is so cute and so is Essek pining over Molly!

Cut Her Out in Little Stars by EchoingArias (7,956 words, Teen) Pairing: Keyleth/Vex'ahlia (Vexleth) Warnings: Anti Half-Elf Racism

While the twins are still living in Syngorn, a summit for leaders from across Tal’Dorei is held. Among the guests is the leader of the Air Ashari and his daughter, Keyleth. Vex is immediately smitten.

Reccer Says: The balance between the sweetness of the twins interactions and Vex’s crush on Keyleth and how awful Syldor and the other elves are is so good and perfectly heartaching.

between earth and sky by floralprintshark (2,536 words, Teen) Pairing: Ashton Greymoore/Dorian Storm (Greystorm) Warnings: None

An AU in which Ashton is earth genasi royalty and is arranged to marry Dorian, the youngest son of the Wyvernwind Clan.

Reccer Says: This fic just started but I’m already very sold on it. The worldbuilding has intrigued me, the character voices for Ashton and the Krook House folks are super on point, and I’m very excited to see Dorian’s POV on the whole situation.

The Peacock’s Palace by WhoGroovesOn (59,145 words, Explicit) Pairings: Mollymauk Tealeaf/Essek Thelyss (Shadowmauk), Mollymauk Tealeaf/Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast (Shadowidomauk) Warnings: Discussions of Caleb’s backstory

Essek owns a burlesque club in Nicodranas, which Molly performs at. They’re perfectly happy and in love, though one night they want to try something a little different. Enter one Bren Aldric Ermendrud.

Reccer Says: It’s very very hot and very fun. The angst is a delicious side dish to the rest and the plot that’s been building is intriguing!

against all my sins and the candlelight by Solanaceae (13,813 words, Teen) Pairing: Astrid Beck/Jenna Iresor Warnings: None

Jenna Iresor (the Cerberus Assembly member who is secretly a doppelganger) takes an interest in Astrid. Scheming and wizard-speak ensue.

Reccer Says: Probably the definition of a rarepair, and SO good! Astrid’s characterization is on point and the political intrigue is so well thought out and interesting.

Can I See You Again? by lespetitesmorts (5,796 words, Teen) Pairing: Keyleth/Vex'ahlia (Vexleth) Warnings: None

Scanlan drags Keyleth with him to go see a show. Before it starts, Keyleth meets Vex, who happens to be the lead singer and bassist for the band in question. And they both may just fall a little bit in love in that moment.

Reccer Says: It is so cute! Keyleth is perfectly awkward and you can really feel just how hot Vex is lol. And Vex's strategy for finding Keyleth again is fun!

Something Happened On The Way To Heaven by SweetSilentSteps (24,014 words, Explicit) Pairing: Orym/Dorian Storm/Will (Dorymwill) Warnings: Kidnapping

A Dorymwill Ladyhawke AU! Dorian is captured by the Paragon's Call, escapes, and meets a mysterious (and handsome) half-elf with an odd raven companion on the road to Jrusar.

Reccer Says: I've never personally watched Ladyhawke but I am very familiar with the concept and love an AU based on it and this does not disappoint. The drama, the intrigue, the dynamics!!! It's so good. Updates monthly and its 4th chapter just went up so now's as good a time as any to catch up to follow along!

Thank you for joining us this week’s recc list! All the love to everyone who submitted a fic 💕 All enclosed recommendations were submitted by the community via our submissions form, which you can find here. All fic information is as it was provided by the reccer, so it may not be accurate to the author’s intent or the precise contents of the fic itself. Please assume good intent from all parties 💕

Submissions for next week’s list are already open! We’ll be featuring Angst. If you have any you’d like to highlight, you can send them in here. The week after that, the theme is Spring and the weeks after that we’re taking recommendations for Jester Rarepairs and Alternate Universes! Submissions for all of these themes are currently open.

If you want more rarepair fic, check out @cr-summer-wildflowers and their event collections on ao3! If you want some friendship after all this romance, take a look at @critter-genfic-events and their recc lists! And if you’re interested in everyone’s favorite wizards, you can’t go wrong with the lists at @aeor-is-for-reccing !

Thanks all and have a lovely day/night/timezone! 💕

[zoetheneko]

Mortal kombat: Heartful mayhem

Prologue

A/N: I knew a prologue is not really necessary on a Tumblr fanfiction, but i did it anyway since i want to write a novel level one (this is my first time writing a fanfic for the internet but idc).

It's a quiet afternoon. Jacqueline Briggs is sitting alone in the room full of computers, apparently in front of one of them, looking very focused. She looks through the files that had been entering the S.F.'s database for a few days now.

Those files in question are reports coming from squads that were sent one after the other to patrol and scavenge a specific area of Outworld, which is somewhere in the desert.

The investigation of these strange occurences of this location was placed into Jacqui's care by Cassandra Cage, her Commander, her best friend.

Jaqueline has been investing for at least five days now. It all started when odd fires were occuring in the already hot desert of Outworld.

The soldier reads the files of the most recent squad that retreated from the desert yesterday in the evening.

Suddenly, the door opens. Jacqui looks at it with surprise.

"Hey Jacqui. You found anything?" It's Cassandra, coming with a freshly made cup of coffee in one hand, checking on her friend.

Jacqui looks back at the screen. "No. Still nothing moved since yesterday." She sighted, slightly disappointed.

Commander Cage looks at a chair and rolls it towards her.

"Dawn. Nothing?." She asks as she takes a seat and approaches Jacqui's desk.

"That's odd. I thought the thermal signatures would have moved right now."

"They're isn't though". Jacqui said back.

"It hasn't been moving for hours now. The source of the fire probably went dormant on our radars."

Cassie takes a sip of coffee, looks down upon her chair and sights. "And we sent all these troops for four days. Jeez... if i knew that it would be a pain in the ass to identify the source of that fire, i would've speared the skin of these men." Some soldiers came back with first degree burns, others were heavily bruised. A few are still recovering at the nursery.

Jacqui glimpses worrysomely at her friend, then remembers something. "You know? I've got something interesting that caught my eye earlier."

Cage looks back at Briggs dragging the mouse around the screen and clicks on a picture icon in the report.

"Look." She says as she points at the blurry photo.

Cassie examines it closely. "Huh... all i see is some pink fire." She keep looking it in silence. "Hang on! What the hell is that?" Cassie points an odd shape that seems humanoid.

"I know." Jacqui responds "I also believe it's this thing that was firing up at our troops and injure them. It seem to be resisting our forces."

Cassie thinks longly about the matter.

"What is it commander?" Jacqui asked.

"We need to send people who are more skilled for this." Cassie responds. "If we continue sending our normal troops, they're will be more casualities. We literally can't risk it anymore."

Jacqui looks away briefly from Cassie, then questions "Well, who do you think we should call to go back there?"

"Come on... you know who." Cassie smirks.

"Oh." Jacqui realises who she is talking about.

Cassie storms out of the room, on her way to give a call or two for tommorow's preparations. Meanwhile, Jacqui is inserting names into the investigation's team file.

There were only two names added. But they knew how important they were for the case, and knew they won't fail it...

John J. Rambo & Kurtis Stryker.

@theelderhazelnut @darialovesstuff @geeky-trash01 @scentedcandleibex @mitsuko-saito @jaydraw209 @krysta-cross @huepazu @berryliciousjam @nameispai @asweetlovesong @loverofthewindgod @roselyn-writing @licoricelump @malewifefirestar @mungayatotale-blog @takiisieju-moved @hi-thisiszira @subsmoke-love @bloody-arty-myths

[queen-paladin]

My Books and other Media: April 2024 Wrap up!!!

Here is what I thought of these! As well as some video essays I LOVED because I eat those up!

The Time I Got Drunk and Saved A Demon by Lemming:

A hilarious romantasy adventure romp! Our Heroine, Cin, has to team up with a demon to go on an adventure when they find out that their goddess possesses demons to attack people and the only way to stop her is to destroy her sacred items. It's laugh-out-loud funny one minute and sweet, romantic, and very spicy the next. I would highly recommend it! 5/5

The Death of Jane Lawrence by Starling

In a Victorian AU world, Jane doesn't want to be stuck as a spinster figure of pity with her adopted family, so she agrees to be in a marriage of convenience with a surgeon named Augustine Lawrence. Things seem to be going great until on her wedding night, she is dropped off at the manor house he lives in...at the haunted manor house he lives in. Since Crimson Peak is one of my favorite movies and this book was inspired by it, I had to pick it up and I was not disappointed! Very much had the same vibes but is distinctly its own thing! I liked Jane and her practicality and I loved Augustine and how much of a pathetic meow meow and simping malewife he was for her. There is plenty of scary, gruesome imagery and I kept being so nervous, thinking "how is Jane gonna deal with this?" Plus there was a pretty darn good twist in the last third and I was genuinely surprised by the ending, without giving anything away The only thing is that sometimes the prose is so poetic that it becomes vague, especially one section right before the very end. But I loved it! 4/5

Bride

Okay, so in a nutshell, this is an arranged marriage story between the vampire Misery and the werewolf Lowe, since the vampires, werewolves, and humans have been in constant conflict. For what I liked, the book was really funny. I enjoyed Misery's sarcasm, snark, and badassery and the romance felt developed and real. This is infamous for the omegaverse elements in the smut, but it wasn't overwhelming for someone who hasn't read a lot and I heard it's TAME compared to fanfiction. I especially liked Misery's friend Serena and I ADORED her relationship with Lowe's kid sister, Ana, who is so adorable and funny. My only qualms are that the romance felt slow to start, there were a lot of bland, forgettable side characters to keep track of, and the climax felt rushed and unclear. 4/5.

Emily Wilde's Encyclopedia of Faeries by Fawcett

My favorite book of the month! This tells of socially awkward, incredibly intelligent professor Emily Wilde in the early 1900's. She is a professor of Fairy studies and is off in a tiny Scandinavian village to study the fairies there. Who else should show up but her charming, rakish rival in academia, Wendell Bambleby. They realize how much the fairies have messed up the local villagers and plan to take action. Okay, I LOVE that the fairies and the fae feel so much like the fairy tales and folklore of yore. The author did her homework! These aren't the hot people with wings and six-packs of Sarah J Maas. They are inhuman, immensely powerful, and can bless you or curse you in a minute's notice if you take the wrong step. I adored Emily and she seemed very much coded as neurodivergent with her passion for fairies her fear of offending others by saying the wrong thing and her lack of reading into social cues. And WENDELL BAMBLEBY! My BambleBook Boyfriend. He is a mix of Prince Hal from The Henriad and Howl from Howl's Moving Castle. He is slutty, constantly inviting his Bambleby Booty Calls, and lazy, having his students do all the work, but he begins to genuinely fall for Emily and is as charming and sweet beneath it all as he can be with a subtle element of "touch her, and you die!" It's dryly hilarious and the third act was incredible. The characters were well-developed and flawed, but still compelling, relatable, and likable. I adored this to death and would HIGHLY recommend it! 5/5

Twisted Love by Huang

In a nutshell, this is a brother's friend and grumpy/sunshine romance. What I love about Ana Huang is that she always knows how to pace and develop a romance between two characters AND her spice is top tier. There are a few funny moments, as well as genuinely sweet ones. However, there are all sorts of elements that veneer into the silly to where I don't take it 100 percent seriously. Like, how our main girl just HAPPENS to be friends with a princess of another country at some public university. And that our main guy is 27 yet a billionaire CEO of a whole company...and he just hangs out with college kids! Like?!?!?!!? I say a good 4/5 just because I always like her.

My Throat an Open Grave by Bovalino

What I expected:

What I got:

Ok, so this teenage girl, Leah, is miserable living in her tiny, religious, conservative town. One night, she is sick of babysitting her baby brother and offers him accidentally to the Lord of the Wood and wouldn't you know it! The Lord of the Wood takes him! So the town tells her she has got to go and get him back, though no girl who runs to the forest for that ever returns. So she gets there and...it's this nice, open minded, cottagecore normal ass village. Other than the premise at the beginning, this isn't Labyrinth but a wholesome Midsomar for kids. Though I do like the middle finger to conservative, small town purity culture, it kind of dragged and wasn't that scary and the stakes weren't high. I expected a scary, folk horror journey, but just got kind of "eh, here's a nice cult that doesn't judge you. You know kid, are you sick of your tiny, repressive town? Here's the answer: join a cult!" There is a really good twist, a scene that got kind of spicy and pushed it for a YA book, and I appreciate that the Jareth in this is around her age instead of some grown ass man offering himself to a minor (sorry, but I am in the minority of Labyrinth who thinks Sarah was right. She made the right choice at the end), it felt like it wasn't the heroes journey I expected and got kind of bland. 3/5

Bonus, My Favorite Video Essays:

The Dark Romance Community is Mad at Me: Okay, this girl, A Model Who Reads, posted a TikTok showing her surprise that the publishing company she works for was releasing a book marked as a Serial Killer Sexual Assault Romance, the dark romance community ATTACKED her in the comments. Here, she explains the problems with it why she isnt' sorry, and her issues with dark romance in full. Insightful, and incredible, and she finally addresses the issue concerning this angry, self-righteous, and unempathetic culture that has emerged recently concerning trigger warnings in media.

Mr. Burns: A Post Electric Video Essay My man, Kyle Kallgren, has done it again! Here, he breaks down Anne Washburn's play Mr Burns, a Post Electric Play, a play that portrays a post-apocalyptic story of a group of survivors recalling a Simpsons episode which then said episode transforms to a staged play to an epic sung through morality opera by the group at the end. He discusses post-apocalyptic media, the evolution of humor, and how humanity always triumphs over adversity. It's funny, deeply human, and chilling and incredibly well researched, in the Kyle KAllgren fashion. Highly recommend it, his channel and all his videos!

[miniherodesktales]

Note: Abandoned One-Shot for Smegtober. It's not finished so please excuse the gaps in the story. Set in an AU. I felt like writing about about a nicer Rimmer. It changes the story a lot.

Day 6: Stranded In The Best and Worst Day Of My Life

Once upon a time, many, many years ago now, I found myself stealing myself a ride home on a derelict mining ship called the Red Dwarf. I went from pushing shopping trolleys around a parking lot to travelling the Solar System, I flew among the stars. I got bored, drunk, I made a best friend, I studied, I fell in love. I hated that I loved my life in the JMC.

But things went strange on the best and worst day of my life. It was my birthday; I was promoted; Krissy said "yes"; and my best friend died. That ion storm we're stranded in isn't just an ion storm and I found myself living the same day over and over again.

Can anyone out there tell me why? Can anyone hear me?

***

Lister blinked back the drunken tears of joy, although it wasn't just the alcohol enhancing his mood - he really was overwhelmed by happiness.

He had only joined the JMC so he could get a ride back to Earth, but life on the Red Dwarf had given him everything he had ever needed to be happy. It had given him the love and friendship he had never experienced before.

It was his 25th birthday and a not-so-surprise party was being held in the Parrot Bar in his honour. OK, so maybe the party itself had been a poorly kept secret ('Parrot Bar, eight PM sharp, wear the Hawaiian shirt I've laid out for you and a surprised grateful look, you jammy git!' Rimmer's note had informed him), but seeing his girlfriend and his best friend tap dancing on the bar had Lister whooping and cheering along with everyone else.

The dance came to abrupt halt when Krissy attempted to do a particularly ambitious high-kick. Thankfully Rimmer caught her and jumped down to the floor with Krissy still in his arms. He deposited her straight into a gaggle of her closest friends and made his way back to Lister's table and fell into a chair.

Lister slapped his shoulder. 'Arnie, you never told me you could tap dance.'

'Badly!' Rimmer grinned. 'I've never told you I could tap dance badly. And you'll never see it again!'

'Booo! When did you learn? Oh, wait, I know -'

'Boarding school!' the two man said in unison and burst into giggles.

Arnold J Rimmer was a long term resident of the Dwarf and immediately liked by all who met him. He was also considered to be something of a mystery and that made him "hot stuff" according to Krissy and her girlfriends. He had spent his childhood being moved from one terrible boarding school to another and took great pleasure in telling tall stories to anyone who would listen about his time spent in them. They ranged from the secret midnight raids on the kitchen to raising a crocodile in the attic, to being beaten for snoring. He had three brothers, all of whom had been killed in service to the Space Corp and no intention of doing the same himself. He claimed to be happy enough being a disappointment to his awful parents as a third class engineer and spending his free time creating works of art, which in his own words were: "Too hideous to see the light of day so must be immediately blasted out of the airlock." Lister strongly disagreed with him on that, but there was no arguing with Rimmer when he was in a creative dark mood.

When Lister had first joined the Dwarf, Rimmer had taken him under his wing, nagged him endlessly to "pull your socks up and apply yourself, you bum, or I'll write to your terrifying grandma!" and they had quickly become close friends. After two years bunking together Lister looked to Rimmer as the "posh, overly privileged brother I've never asked for, but I love to bits."

'Krissy's great, isn't she?' Lister asked.

Rimmer blew out his lips and tipped his head back.

'You're always asking me that. You just want to hear me drone on about how wonderful your girlfriend is!'

'Yeah, I do.'

'Very well, Krissy K is amazing, beautiful, sexy, talented, and you should hurry up and propose to her tonight.'

'Hey, how do you know about that?'

'Because it's just the kind of sappy thing you would do. I suppose I have no choice but to be your Best Man?'

'You don't have to make it sound like a chore!'

'If you mean organising you, your stag party, looking after the ring, getting you to the church on time, holding your little hand, and preventing you from getting stains on your suit? I'll deserve a medal.'

Krissy bounded over to their table, beaming her famous pinball smile.

'Arnie, we make a stylish team!'

'Right on, sister!' Rimmer smiled back, but it quickly disappeared after a drunken roar filled the bar. He winced, hands instinctively covering his ears, and stood up. 'I'm going to bed,' he announced. 'I hate you all,' he said as a way of goodbye.

'Is he OK?' Krissy asked.

'He's fine,' Lister reassured her. 'He just doesn't like the noise,' he said, gesturing to his own ear. 'And being stuck in this ion storm isn't helping his mood. It always puts him on edge.'

'Maybe you should go after him. Make sure he gets home safe.'

'Are you asking me to leave?'

Krissy pushed her face close to his. 'I'll be waiting for you here, but I think you should be a good mate to your best mate. Give Arnie this goodnight kiss from me,' she said and kissed him on the lips.

'I might keep it for myself,' Lister smirked. He snatched up his hat. 'Back soon!'

***

'Dave, stay on your bunk, we need the space! Quick, get him on the floor - he's cold!'

'Peterson's bringing the defibrator,' Holly said blandly. 'I'll talk you through CPR until he gets here. Frank, two rescue breaths, then thirty chest compressions. One and two and three and four - good, keep going - six and seven -Rachel, get ready to take over; Peterson's almost here - ten and eleven -'

Dave held his head in hands, rocking back and forth on his bunk. He dared not jump down in case he got in the way, disrupted the rhythm of the CPR that might just keep Rimmer going until Peterson arrived. But, he had no real hope. It was same each 24 hours. Arnold J Rimmer dies in the early hours of each morning....then the clock spun back. The storm was still ongoing...it was his birthday...he passed his entry level engineering exam...there was a not so surprised party....

'All life signs have stopped,' he heard Holly announce. 'You can stop CPR now. Time of death for Arnold J Rimmer: 3.21 AM.'

'But I have the defibrator' Peterson said thickly. Always late.

'He's gone,' Todhunter answered quietly. And never being one to miss out on an opportunity to explain something added, 'Defibrators they're not actually designed to -'

'He's dead!' Lister interrupted. He always interrupted now, unable to bear hearing Todhunter explaining how defibrillators worked on hearts in arrhythmia but not ones that had completely shut down and stopped.

***

'I'm not going to let you die, Arnie,' Lister growled. He snatched up a baseball bat. 'Not again anyway.'

'What's your plan? You can't you just whack death on the head for me and say, "Sorry, not today, matey!" If it's my time, it's my time.'

Lister shook his head.

'If Death comes anywhere near you, I'm going to rip his balls out. No more messing around with time loops! This ends today. We're breaking out this ion storm and going home. I can't see you die again.'

Krissy nodded. 'Worth a try, Arn. I'd say lets go with the ripping Death's balls out plan. It's gotta be more fun than dying.'

Rimmer pouted. 'But I die so well!'

Lister gently prodded him with the baseball bat.

'Not today you don't. Time to fight back.'

***

My name is Dave Lister and I found myself stranded in the best and worst day of my life. It was my birthday; I was promoted; Krissy said "yes"; and my best friend died.

We fought back and won. We broke the time loop and Rimmer survived. We escaped the ion storm, but it came at a price.

We found ourselves stranded in another dimension with no hope of finding our way home, but we keep moving forward.

We travel the stars; we battle Gelfs, Simulants, and anyone else who gets in our way.

But we live, we survive, over and over again.

[coldbam]

For the leaving some love fanfic asks! :)

6. Something I remember vividly from reading one of your fics--

Nicole, I will never, ever, EVER forget this lines from "want you in my room" -

I’m sorry, Buck mouths back. “I’ll be out in 2 minutes! Can you get all the ingredients ready?” he says, while carefully, horribly, pulling out of Eddie, and gets off the bed.

Eddie's left alone, feeling cold, empty, and frustrated with everything that lead to this moment. He hears Christopher make his way to the kitchen, victorious.

and this -

“First of all, never pull out of me before we’re done again.” He waits for Buck to give a sheepish nod. “Second, never pull out of me before we’re done again.”

This is just. Comedic gold. Eddie SO DISAPPOINTED and them him practically ordering Buck to never leave him hanging like that again was very hot. It sticks with me. It's amazing. Incredible. A+ the whole fic is hysterical.

12. A fic of yours that i've re-read

"wanna do a bad thing twice" and "by any other name" are very similar but I love them both an obsessive amount and i reread both of them like, once every few weeks at least. You write insane unhinged obtusely jealous Buck like no one I have EVER seen and it is just, it makes me kind of feral tbh. It's so visceral and intense and also hilarious and so, SO crazy. I love it very much.

16. BONUS compliments

I made it up cause that's not on the list. I've seen you mention this a few times so I wanted to say. As much as you seem to be :/ about writing fics with the same premise a lot, for every time you think that (and probably more often), there is someone out there (like me) that goes "OH MY GOD SHE POSTED ANOTHER ONE". My favourite part of fandom and reading fic is that I get to find a setting/idea that I love, and then read about it a gazillion times and it never ever gets old, so please know that people LOVE your fics and they are amazing. Have a good day, I am only a little bit sorry for being embarrassing and rambling at you so much!

🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 i forever love want you in my room, my favourite early fic i wrote when j still wasn’t quite sure what i was doing!!

i’m soooo !!! that you called out those 2 specifically in my jealous buck trilogy bc i feel like the other one really got the most notice, and i love them all ❤️❤️❤️ i really did feel like kgjfjgjfj worried i just kept writing the same thing over and over but i just had so much fun with that concept to the point that i even thought of another idea after i finished them all but ALSO i just needed a break and by the time i might be over with that, ill probably get new ideas for something else.

thank you thank youuuu for always being so supportive 🥹🥹🥹

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #121

Sephiroth!!!! SephirothSephirothSephirothSephiroth!!!! Guess what!!!! Guesswhatguesswhatguesswhat!!!!!

Ahahahaha, you'll never guess!!! So I'm gonna tell ya!!!!

Okay!!! So for context!!! I've been trying to find a way to consistently cook eggs with intact, runny, delicious yolks for a while now. Years and years, in fact! Soft boiling them is a pretty good method, but then comes the part where you gotta peel 'em, and while making sure the eggs are older and putting a little baking soda in the water while boiling them, and then peeling them under cold running water (this is TORTURE for me, but I do it anyway for the nomzzz) can help a little, the fact of the matter is that the egg whites are gonna do their bestest to stick to the shells, and the result is, often enough, kind of a mangled egg. This becomes even more of a problem if you wanna make ajitama (which I gotta show you how to do one of these days because they are SERIOUSLY. THE BEST. OH MY GOODNESS.).

Most of the time, I try to cook eggs out of the shell. And you can do this in an aluminum pan like my wok, but eggs like to stick to EVERYTHING (oh my GOD!). It's really very terrible. So then, you crack them into the hot pan and they get all sizzly and nice, but then you go to flip them, and the egg is sticking to the bottom of the pan, and in order to get it off the bottom of the pan, you basically gotta rip it up off of the pan, and by then the yolk sac is all busted up and dripping everywhere, and then you end up with an egg with cooked yolks instead of runny yolks, which is VERY disappointing when it's not what you were intending, goodness me.

So I had resigned myself to the notion that if I wanna make over-easy eggs with golden, delicious, intact yolks, I'm gonna hafta break out my teflon griddle every single stinkin' time, which is a pain right in the toosh because the thing is big and unwieldy and difficult to clean. But it's teflon, and basically nothing sticks to teflon (seriously, it's got like a CRAZY LOW coefficient of friction), so it's great to cook eggs on. But the problem is that teflon is easily scratched, and not only does that ruin its capacity for non-stickiness, but also you get exposed to these chemicals called PFOA or PFAS, and a single scratch releases ALL KINDS of crazy nanoparticles, which then get into your food and can really screw up your body if you eat them.

I dunno if you've got teflon in your world, but if you do, you MUST remember to NEVER, EVER use metal tools on teflon cooking surfaces!! It's VERY BAD NEWS!!

Anyway, so J sent me a video of this awesome Egyptian guy (who is apparently called the Egyptian Magician in the kitchen? seems about right to me, given what I saw!) who covered the bottom of his aluminum pan with salt, and then he poured some oil with a high smoke point in the pan! The idea is that you turn on the heat high enough to let the oil in the pan get smoky while the salt is in it, and the salt then gets kinda brownish, and then you dump out the oil and salt and scrub any excess oil away with a paper towel, and voila, your aluminum pan is non-stick and you can cook eggs in it without it sticking to the bottom!

I TRIED IT TODAY. AND IT WORKS!!! I will show you!!!

So here's the part where I dumped the salt and oil in the pan. I know it's hard to see, but there's a lot of salt in there - enough so you don't see the bottom of the pan anymore.

From there, you turn the heat on. For my stove, putting it on 5 and letting it sit for a while is plenty. The highest heat is 9, and I only ever use that for boiling water. Anything higher than 5 for any other purpose is definitely overkill:

Oh. It's not 3:43pm in this photo. It's the kitchen timer. I was brewing tea; I'll show you how that turned out later!

Anyway, after several minutes of the oil in the pan getting all smoky, I dumped out the hot oil, waited for the pan to cool down, and then wiped out whatever was leftover with a paper towel. Here was the result:

I know you have no basis for comparison, because I didn't think to take a before picture; sorry about that. But! Please believe me when I say that the light is reflecting VERY differently from the bottom of my pan, compared to how it usually does.

So then I cooked some eggs! I used the farm fresh ones that Br brought over not too long ago! These ones are about a week or so old, which means that it'll be harder with these to keep an intact yolk. So I figured that they'd be as good as any to test this out with; if it can work well with these, then fresher ones will be a piece of cake!

...Chicken eggs that aren't from factory farms come in all kinds of pretty colors. I hope we can snag some more soon! Or maybe even sometime we can get some duck eggs; they're SO GOOD, oh my gosh!!

So here's how the first side of this egg turned out in the pan:

...And here's how it looked after it was flipped over:

DO YOU SEE HOW BEAUTIFUL THAT IS!!! I have NEVER been able to do this in an aluminum pan!!! Ordinarily, the bottom of the egg is VERY firmly adhered to the pan!! But NOT THIS TIME!! WOW!!!

I think, though, that I might have used a bit too high a temperature for it this time, because I did have just a little bit of sticking; I'll have to try cooking it on 2 instead of on 3 next time around:

But this? This is NOTHING compared to what normally happens if you try to cook eggs in an aluminum pan. Normally, you're left with a MESS of EPIC PROPORTIONS, good grief!! And I was SUPER PLEASED to find that all it took to get this off the bottom of the pan was to put a little salt in the pan and and use my handy-dandy spatula to scrape it around; salt makes a GREAT abrasive:

I was able to cook all five of these eggs like this, with practically zero problems! Look how beautifully these turned out:

I could not be more thrilled!!! I could NOT be more thrilled!! 🤩🤩🤩

...Well. Unless you were here so you could eat eggs with us. And then I'd DEFINITELY be a LOT more thrilled. But that's impossible, so... ya know. 😞😔

But anyways... yeah!!! If you come to my house, I will make you some eggs!! And they will be ~AWESOME~!!! Unless of course you don't like eggs, in which case I will make you SOMETHING ELSE, which will be JUST AS AWESOME! 😄🥰😁

Oh right!!! I made tea today, and I told you I'd show you how it turned out! So here; today's was toast-and-jam flavored tea!

I can't share the tea with you. But I can send you pictures and hope that you'll remember how beautiful life can be, no matter how badly you were broken down in the past. A mind that can find love, joy, and magic in simple, ordinary things is a mind that is unstoppable. It is a mind that cannot be broken in a way that matters, because it is resilient and strong.

Sephiroth. If you really are "the strongest there is", as the writers of your story say, then please show me that strength. Because breaking everything is not strength - it is weakness:

...I hope somehow you can hear me...

Well anyway. I know that today's letter is early, but I am going to end this here; there's even more stuff I wanna do! Maybe I'll tell you about it tomorrow, if any of it is interesting!

I love you. Please stay safe, 'cuz you gotta read tomorrow's letter, okay?

Your friend, Lumine

[castlebyersafterdark]

It’s so intriguing how Joseph Quinn entered ST for one season and already has a burgeoning career way stronger than any of the actors who’ve been here for a decade (he’s in a quiet place, the fantastic four, gladiator II, a major alex garland A24 war film, a major elevated horror film, and more to come). It’s like damn, where’s this energy for any of the other cast members? agents, please step up 😤

especially noah’s agent. noah should’ve landed roles post ST2 just like finn did early on

Oh gosh I forgot about that man but yeah, he seems to be popping OFF with big roles. Marvel lead???? Wild. I never could have predicted that one but good for him. I know that Stranger Things has really long filming demands but others have managed to do big roles as well. Not gonna pretend I know that much about the intricacies of all their filming decisions, but it's certainly interesting. I really don't know why Noah wasn't in more (better) stuff in conjunction with ST but maybe it's what his family decided?

now this is all interesting because i agree with vinny about noah's post-ST career. ST is something of a bubble; did you see that parody where it was called 'the worlds favourite TV show every three years' ? basically, most people - the industry peeps who make things happen and the viewing public - forget about the show until a new season comes out. its a cultural phenomenon rather than a stalwart, and i think it's going to continue to generate a loyal fanbase for decades to come, much like nerd classics like star trek. i can totally see this cast coming back again and again for reunion cons but not necessarily having varied, successful careers.

i think they are great actors in ST, but something about the ensemble cast and the magic of the show is what works for me. everything i've seen anyone do outside of ST has been disappointing tbh. i thought finn had quiet beauty in Saving the World, but if I saw that and didnt know who he was, I probably wouldnt think he was a giant star or follow his career. The youngest actors especially, in s1 and s2 they threw so much of themselves into the roles that I believe these characters now belong to them, are part of them. (Imagine: it's 2050, and Stranger Things is being rebooted. I can see Finn and Noah coming back for cameo roles, Mr Clarke or something, and old fans going wild.)

But I don't feel that way with B characters like Eddie/Joe Quinn. You have to consider that he was hella charismatic and is considered a good actor, period, not just within the show: he's a seasoned british theatre actor with roots in the biz. he's sort of like what jonathan bailey is to bridgerton, getting all the roles despite his castmates being super talented too. it speaks volumes about the kind of characters that the general public want to see + that the industry is willing to write. we've seen the steddie fandom here: joe has one hell of a demographic lapping up his stuff, and he's riding a fame wave of hot white twenty-something male, similar to Paul Mescal... and considering how fast pop culture/hollywood moves these days, I wouldnt be surprised if he too fades away after a few years of great success (like J. Law). He could also fuck it up with one wrong comment and get cancelled within the year lol. It's just so hard to predict.

but vinny was probably right on with noah being young - child stars rarely expand beyond one franchise/film while theyre that small due to legal filming limits and school commitments etc, and because theres so few child roles in hollywood. so comparing a young noah's talent and career with joe quinn's, who was an adult when he joined ST, doesnt really make sense.

+ this isnt really on topic but i personally would prefer them to fade and be happy and healthy than grind away and become jaded by the industry or have many flops. i already think finn worked too hard as a teen and has basically developmentally lived his twenties before his teen years, and is now sort of going back to that teen mindset and experimenting with music and chilling and doing things a teen should. when he said he had abandoned his career goals to focus on personal ones like 'being comfortable in my own skin', i rejoiced and also cursed the whole fame thing for just being so fucked up. his goal is to be 'a happy and healthy older person' - i mean, that made me cry dude. the implications and subtext of that statement! and people are out here thinking they should all be happy and fine cos theyre rich and have fancy cars and all these fans. like, tell me you don't know anything about what it means to be human. 🙄

Excellent points and discussions, all very real. Agreed. Thank you !! ❤️❤️

[aaronburrdaily]

November 8, 1809

Rochild.,¹ November 8, 1809. The ancient, not, however, the most ancient, residence of the Kings of Denmark. Though I left Madame Tutine's et le belle Prussienne² at 8 last evening much against my will and theirs, and without any known or assignable reason, I did nothing all the evening; was somehow out of order and as I thought unfit for society; some people thought otherwise. Got tea a ma facon.³ Wrote postscript to my letter to Lüning. At 9 came in the dom. of Madame de Wederkop to apologize for the disappointment of last evening and begging to see me in the morning. The apology was something singular. At 12 went to work on the Coest.⁴ and wrought well but more and more out of humor with my brusque manner of quitting la Prus.⁵ At 9 sor. to Madame Wederkop; gave her in charge my letter to Liming and received from her two for Sleswick.⁶ To A.B. Rothe, with whom 1/2 hour about committees, councils, &c. A very prompt, intelligent, communicative man about 46. He is to address to me at Hamburg his reply to my queries. To Olsen's; Blecker O. had left town; H.G.O. exceedingly civil; mortified that I will leave town; offers to devote himself; assures me of all sorts of respectful attentions. Why, then, do I not stay? Because I had resolved to go, had announced it, &c, though I do admit that I have had much to encounter to get out. From Olsen's to J. de Coningk's, where 1/2 hour and thence home. Found H. and R. ready and waiting. I had ordered horses at 11. At 11 I got home and the horses were at the door; not a thing packed up, bills to settle, servants to pay, quelle embarras!⁷ We went to work all hands and at 1 were ready and embarked. The mode of traveling is in a long wagon, the body wickerwork; no springs; but the seats with cushions and backs, hung on leather. The road is paved with pebbles, like the streets in our towns.

Note: At the moment of packing up Mr. Hellfried came in to make a visit; rather late. The promise of three marks above the customary fee to the driver brought us on very briskly. With four fine, large black horses, we performed this stage in three hours; the distance four Danish miles, about twenty-one English.

After rising and descending the hill on which is the palace of Fredericksberg, the whole is almost a plain. Many village churches; all low, and with a square tower at one end, interspersed with those little hills which are called barrows — places of interment at a period beyond tradition or record. At one time I counted thirteen in view. These, and those I have seen in Sweden, resemble those which we have seen on the Ohio, the Mississippi, and the Missouri.

We dined at Taastrup⁸ (half way). Goose, excellent; corned pork (ditto), with bread, butter and very fine cheese. Our drink was a kind of light ale. This repast for us three, including drink for our coachman, cost 3 dollars 1 mark, about 1 dollar United States money.

Very soon after leaving Taastrup we had in view the turrets of the ancient Cathedral of Rochild.⁹ We are lodged in a neat, comfortable inn. A widow lady, two smiling maids, so like Sweden that we cannot believe they are Danes. On my arrival called on Professor Gamberg, and showed him Olsen's note. He returned with me to the inn. He has apprised the wachmeister¹⁰ or the sexton to be ready to show us the Cathedral at 8 in the morning.

This is the object of my staying here to-night; I must see the tomb and bust of Marguerite, called the Semiramis¹¹ of the North, and of ———, but you shall know. That you may judge of the expense of traveling — we paid for our wagon and four horses 7 1/2 dollars, and 1 dollar to the coachman; in the whole about 12 shillings sterling.

Having dined plentifully, we took tea for supper in the evening; a bottle of very fine claret, and for my part, with hot water and sugar. The picture has come on my lap. I could not bear to see you bouncing about at the bottom of the wagon, but I shall not open it again till Hamburg. My companions are asleep and now, at 11, having had my bed warmed, much the mode here, I am also going to make up the arrears of the last two nights, having ordered breakfast at 7 and the pretty maid to wake me at 6. Let me see, how are you now employed? Probably at breakfast, with Gampy asking you an hundred of questions about — God knows!

1 For Röskilde. Burr pays no attention whatever to the correct spelling of geographical names. Röskilde was an ancient ecclesiastical center. It had at one time a population of 100,000 and was the capital of Denmark till 1443. 2 Le for la. And the handsome Prussian lady. 3 For à ma façon. In my style. 4 See Glossary. 5 For la Prussienne. 6 For Schleswig. 7 For quel embarras ! What perplexity! 8 For Höjetaastrup. 9 For Röskilde. There are many interesting tombs at Röskilde, including those of several Kings and Queens of Denmark. The Cathedral, built in the middle of the thirteenth century in the Transition style, is with three exceptions the finest medieval church in Scandinavia. It is 280 feet long; the tower is 246 feet high. 10 For Danish vagtmester. Doorkeeper, porter. 11 The legendary wife of Ninus, the founder of Nineveh. She reigned after his death and conquered all Asia except India; built the city of Babylon, with its hanging gardens, etc. She was said to be endowed with surpassing beauty and wisdom. The Greeks ascribed to this superlative Queen everything marvelous in the Orient.