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nothingbutsweetwords · 4 months ago

Text

ɴᴏʙᴏᴅʏ'ꜱ ꜱᴏɴ, ɴᴏʙᴏᴅʏ'ꜱ ᴅᴀᴜɢʜᴛᴇʀ

ᴀᴇᴍᴏɴᴅ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ!ɴɪᴇᴄᴇ

"…ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ʟᴏᴛ ᴏꜰ ʀᴇɢʀᴇᴛꜱ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ."

Word count: 4,900.

Fandom: House of the Dragon.

Pairing: Aemond x Reader!Velaryon!Niece.

DISTANCE — 10. Him.

When she left King's Landing, it was as if a black shadow had settled over the entire city, a dark suffocating mist smothering any ray of light despite the sun's bright rays. The Red Keep became cold and hollow. It transformed into a labyrinth of echoes from shared memories, now faded in time, like a persistent lament that could be heard in every corner.

As the days passed, he sought refuge in a rigorous and emotionless routine. Breakfasts became occasions for his mother's presence, and lunches were spent with his sister, though the conversation lacked the vimness it once had.

It was a comfort, albeit a fragmented one. Alicent was always attentive, quick to notice every visible need. However, her affection manifested in an attempt to keep him safe, shielding him from any perceived dangers, but not from the stormy sea of his own emotions. She was aware of his pain, but they never spoke openly about what truly troubled him, fearing that stirring those deep waters might overflow them. Instead, she offered practical advice and an outward calm that barely touched the surface of his emotional distress.

Helaena, with her serene and enigmatic nature, was a peculiar source of comfort. Her visions and whispers, often cryptic, seemed to touch the chords of his deepest thoughts, as if she could see beyond the obvious. In her presence, he found fleeting moments of peace.

The loss of her usual brightness after her marriage to Aegon only accentuated the air of affliction in the castle, revealing a wound in her soul that resonated with his own. It was clear that neither of them had wanted that union, but it was she who had suffered a brutal clash between her ideals and a starkly different reality she faced.

Despite this, she often repeated to him that phrase he had heard for the first time so many years ago, accompanied by a small, wistful smile: "Our wait will be rewarded."

He found it increasingly difficult to hold onto trust in those words. They had become a thin fragile thread, turning his faith into a dull ache and keeping him anchored to a life that felt increasingly distant and unrecognizable.

Her absence left him with an overwhelming void, a sense of loss so profound that it seemed to consume every corner of his being—worse even than the loss of his eye, as if a part of his soul had departed with her, his best friend, his love.

He wrote to her many times, pouring into the pages a torrent of emotions he couldn't express aloud. Each one contained a silent plea for a response, a sign that she still thought of him. But her replies never came, and with each day of silence, his misery grew like a storm that besieged him without respite.

He immersed himself in a series of mental scenarios, imagining every possible reason for the lack of response. Had she heard about his indiscretions the night before she left? Or was she angry because he hadn't allowed her to visit when she needed him the most?

He tried to convince himself that she needed space, that time and distance would heal their wounds, but as the weeks turned into moons, the lack of words became an increasingly heavy burden, leading him to question and finally accept that, perhaps, he deserved the silence.

Sometimes, when fate offered a reprieve and luck favored him, he would see her in his dreams, even if they were tumultuous. In them, she would drift away whenever he tried to reach her, her expression distraught at his sullied touch. The pain of her absence mingled with the fleeting joy of seeing her face again, creating a cut that seemed impossible to heal.

There were moments when he nearly mounted Vhagar, to escape the place where his memories kept him imprisoned, and fly to her. But fear and insecurity held him back. His heart, wounded and fragile, couldn't bear the possibility of meeting a version of her who no longer wished to see him. The thought of facing that rejection was too devastating.

His connection with Vhagar was another of the few true comforts he had left. Flying with her offered a breath from his earthly troubles, a sense of freedom and power that he found nowhere else. However, even this source of relief was restricted. His mother feared the dragon, not just for her size and might, but for what she represented: an unbridled power and independence that she could not control. With maternal concern deeply rooted in her, she limited his opportunities to fly, fearing that something might go wrong.

He and his siblings were now only permitted to fly during royal journeys, which had drastically decreased over the years, along with the king's health.

These limitations felt like heavy chains pressing down on him more and more. His desire to fly, to feel the wind on his face and Vhagar's roar beneath him, was an essential part of his being—a way to feel free and leave his worries behind if only for a brief moment. Every time it was denied to him, the frustration and resentment grew, adding to the tangled web of conflictions that tormented him.

He threw himself into his studies with an almost obsessive intensity, as if each text and lesson could offer a distraction. This rigorous pursuit of knowledge was more than just a means to an end; it was a way to drown out the loneliness that gnawed at his insides. Instead of confronting his pain, he buried it under a façade of determination, finding in discipline another means of desertion.

Physical training became another outlet. Every sword strike, every grueling exercise, was a cathartic release, a way to channel his frustration and sadness into something tangible. He often pushed beyond the limits of prudence, driving his body to exhaustion.

The relentless ache became an inescapable companion, following him even in his busiest moments. Despite his efforts to keep his mind focused on other tasks, the image of her smile and the echo of her laughter lingered like ghosts that refused to be exorcized.

He found himself wondering, with a knot tightening in his chest, if she had forgotten him, if she had found a new life on the island and no longer thought of him. This uncertainty consumed him inside, like a flame that never went out.

The nights were especially cruel, filled with restless tossing and turning as his mind replayed memories and imagined scenarios. The fear of having lost her forever and the guilt for not having done more intertwined, creating an internal struggle that left him exhausted and unable to find sleep.

As the months stretched into years, he adapted to an existence where her absence was a constant. Yet, he never stopped missing her, nor did he stop yearning for the joy her presence had once brought into his life. It was a quiet, persistent longing that he learned to live with.

His kind sister continued to bring him fresh roses every week, a simple yet constant gesture that tried to fill some of the emptiness. Sometimes, in his frustration and pain, he rejected them, leaving them to wither untouched. Other times, in a fit of desperation, he would throw them away, as if by doing so he could uproot the feelings that consumed him. But there were moments when, with an almost reverent stillness, he would lean over them, breathing in their fragrance and letting the soft petals brush against his skin, searching for a trace of the connection they once shared.

On one particularly lonely night, he dusted off the gift she had given him, a tangible symbol of their bond. He wore it with pride, like a talisman against the encroaching sadness. Next to the cherished case, on his nightstand, he kept a piece of the sapphire. Each time he looked at it, he imagined her, and clinged to the memory of her with all the strength he could muster. It was a small comfort, a glimmer of the love and friendship that had once been his.

He was sitting at the table, engrossed in conversation with his mother. It was a quiet breakfast, one of those rare moments of peace they could enjoy together lately, as she had been increasingly occupied with court matters.

She was giving him news about Daeron and the impending arrival of some nobles for the festivities in his father's honor. Everything seemed routine, just a simple update on the day's affairs.

But then, almost as if it were of no consequence, she mentioned: "A raven has arrived from Dragonstone." Her tone was casual, almost offhand, as if she were talking about the weather or some other minor detail. However, the words fell like lead. "Rhaenyra and her family shall be joining us."

For a moment, time seemed to stand still. He stopped eating, his fork halted midway to his mouth, and he sat motionless. His mind went blank, struggling to process what he had just heard. She, the girl who had filled his thoughts and dreams for all those years, would be returning.

Alicent, keenly aware of her son's reaction, watched his face carefully. Despite her attempts to maintain an air of indifference, her eyes showed a flicker of concern. She knew the significance of the announcement for him, and though she tried to downplay it, she couldn't ignore the palpable tension that hung in the air.

He finally set the fork down, his mind swirling. He tried to maintain his composure, but the lump in his throat and the quickening of his beatings were hard to hide. "When, precisely?" he asked, his voice taut with barely suppressed anxiety.

"A few days before it begins, I suppose" she replied, not taking her eyes off him. "Nothing to be concerned about." But they both knew that was far from the truth. The news was anything but trivial. Her arrival was not just another court event; it was an emotional earthquake threatening to shatter the fragile calm he had painstakingly built over the years.

As the days crept closer to the celebrations, the nights grew longer and more sleepless. He found himself going over every possible encounter, every word he wanted to say to her. Anxiety gripped him, a gnawing fear that she had changed, that the woman he had loved and lost might no longer exist in the form he remembered. The thought that perhaps nothing remained of what they once shared was a weight he couldn't bear, leaving him on edge.

The days passed wrapped in a fog of anticipation. The news loomed over him inevitably and followed him wherever he went. The arrival of servants from Dragonstone only intensified this sense of imminence.

Among these newcomers was Lyra, the lady-in-waiting who, years ago, had wished him a happy birthday with genuine warmth. Now, however, her gaze was tinged with disapproval, her brows furrowed, and her expression hardened. He felt each of these gestures like a small sign of what was to come, amplifying his own discomfort.

He had set aside the books, as they no longer worked; the words blurred in his mind, and he was unable to concentrate. Instead, he spent those hours wielding the sword, until the skin of his palms became rough and calloused.

One day, waiting for his sister for lunch, he anxiously eyed the usual vase of roses, which already appeared wilted. Helaena arrived with a smile he hadn't seen in a long time, it was bright, contrasting with the gravity of his own thoughts; however, she did not bring new roses as she usually did.

She noticed his unease and, in a casual tone, remarked, "you shan’t need them for some time, I believe."

During lunch, she spoke with overflowing energy, filling the silence of the room. He, though less communicative, felt relieved by her presence and liveliness.

As they finished, he accompanied her to the door. She bid him farewell with contagious cheerfulness and went to her room, leaving him deep in thought. He lingered in the hallway, contemplating the change in her demeanor, wondering what she had meant.

Just then a roar from Vhagar echoed through the air, strong and clear. It was soon followed by another. The sound, different from usual, carried a tone of joy, almost of celebration. It caught his attention, pulling him from his reverie.

Nervous and conflicted, he closed the door and sank into a chair, burying his face in his hands. He didn't feel ready for what was coming; the feeling of losing control overwhelmed him, it was a sensation he despised more than any other.

After some period of introspection and as the commotion on the floor of the chambers died down, he decided to head to the yard. There, more crowded than usual, he found the usual scene: guards and nobles training fervently. Criston Cole waiting for him, stood ready, morningstar in hand.

"Are you ready, my prince?" Criston asked, his voice laced with challenge and a slight smile playing on his lips.

He nodded, taking a wooden shield and a sword from the armory table. They both faced each other, taking their positions. With every muscle tense and alert, he began to move his body, eager to release the pent-up nerves consuming him.

Criston was the first to attack, his movements swift and precise. He, instead, chose to maintain a defensive stance, blocking and dodging. He heard each clash, the impact of metal against wood and the crunch of the ground beneath their feet.

As the fight progressed, Cole increased his aggression, launching more powerful attacks. At one point, he managed to hit his shield, splintering and breaking the wood. He threw the remnants aside, adjusting his grip on the sword. Even without a defense, he kept his composure, with more calculated movements.

They moved in circles, gauging each other's reactions. It was then that he spotted his nephews among the spectators. The sight of him, whom he had not seen since the attack that cost him an eye, ignited a flare of anger within him. He bitterly remembered the injustice of that day, how Lucerys had emerged unscathed while he bore the scar, a permanent reminder.

Criston, sensing the shift in his energy, redoubled his efforts, but he, driven by a surge of emotion, held his ground. With precision, he found an opening in Cole's defense. With a quick and decisive maneuver, he ended the fight with the sword pressed against his opponent’s neck, securing a clear victory. The yard erupted in applause and murmurs.

Criston, breathing heavily, looked at him with a mix of respect and pride. "Well done, my prince. You’ll be winning tourneys in no time" he said, with a playful smile.

He had little interest in such spectacles. He viewed tournaments as mere displays, insufficient to measure a warrior's true worth.

Aemond, with heavy breathing, replied firmly with an icy tone: "I don’t give a shit about tourneys." Then, with his gaze fixed on his nephews, he addressed them "Nephews, have you come to train?" The question carried a sharp edge, a latent provocation that resonated with the unresolved hostility between them.

The young men remained silent, their expressions serious. Without waiting for a response, he turned back to the armory table and took another shield, determined to continue.

As he walked behind his mother, his gaze was fixed ahead with his siblings flanking him on either side, all heading towards the hall where breakfast would be served.

The night before, she had been absent from supper, and while he felt a temporary relief that the encounter had been postponed, it was mixed with the sadness of not having seen her.

As he entered the room, his heart skipped a beat. His gaze instinctively sought her among the others, and when he found her, it felt as though time had stopped. He tried to walk with apparent calm, though inside, a battle was raging.

She was watching him too, and in that brief moment their eyes met, he felt a jolt course through his body. None of the fantasies he had harbored about this moment could have prepared him for the reality. She was completely different, yet unmistakably the same, her essence unchanged.

She was more radiant than he had ever imagined. There was an air of dignity, confidence and grace in her bearing that left him breathless. There was a dignity in her presence, a poise that was almost otherworldly, captivating him beyond mere words. Her gaze, filled with a subtle strength, seemed to pierce through his defenses, making him feel as though he were standing on the precipice of an emotional abyss.

He quickly averted his eye, fearing that his emotions might overflow if he maintained contact any longer. He took his seat, and the ensuing silence was almost palpable, heavy with tension and unspoken feelings.

As breakfast progressed, he tried to maintain his composure, but his mind was in turmoil. Every gesture she made, every word she spoke, was a new wave crashing over him. Seeing her after so long was both a blessing and a torment. His hands clenched together on top of the table as he noticed her eyes following him, her gaze inscrutable.

She was even more enchanting than what he thought was possible. The maturity of her features only served to enhance her natural allure, making her beauty more profound. Her face, framed by the dark cascade of her curls, seemed to shine with an inner light.

Every detail, from the way her eyes sparkled with hidden depths to the delicate curve of her lips, revealed the woman she had become. Her attire, the deep black fabric draping elegantly over her, accentuated her striking features.

Each glance at her was a painful, bittersweet reminder of the time past and lost.

His mother’s words echoed in his mind: “Nothing to be concerned about.” Everything in him was concerned, everything in him was engaged.

The mere mention of Dragonstone seemed to light up her face; the joy in her expression and the smile he adored were unmistakable. At that moment, he knew her stay would be temporary. She had found a new home, a new life away from him, and the realization was like a dagger.

Upon learning that she had become a dragonrider, he felt a profound joy for her. He recalled the long nights they had spent talking about dragons, imagining what it would be like to fly. He wished he had been there to see her take flight for the first time.

When the king remarked, “The mount of the Good Queen Alysanne. It suits you well” and Helaena, by his side, nodded slightly, a dark fear settled in his chest. It was a gesture laden with foreboding that he was reluctant to explore.

A few hours later, he found himself having lunch with Helaena in her room. The soft afternoon light filtered through the windows, bathing the space in a warm golden glow. Despite the cozy atmosphere, he was lost in thought, his mind still dwelling on the events of that morrow and the memories they had stirred.

Helaena, ever perceptive, noticed his distraction. “Brother” she said softly, her voice filling the room with calmness. When he looked up, she was watching him with a tender expression. “Are you well?”

He hesitated, the words he had kept buried for so long finally emerging. “Will we be together?” he asked quietly, his uncertainty and longing for answers evident. He trusted that fate had its own path, but he needed to know if there was any possibility of a future for them.

She tilted her head slightly, her expression thoughtful as she chose her words carefully. “Some things will depend on you; others are already woven into the fabric of destiny. But I have found that after a long winter, summer is appreciated more” she replied with a wisdom that seemed to come from a deep place. His brows furrowed with a hint of concern. “But you must always keep the door open.”

He nodded, caught between optimism and resignation. He bid farewell to Helaena, each step he took feeling heavier under the weight of her words. As he opened the door, he found himself face to face with the person who had been occupying his thoughts. For a moment, he was caught off guard, stunned by the unexpected encounter.

“Niece” he greeted with a courteous gesture, inclining his head

“Uncle” she replied with a smile that didn’t reach her eyes, a barrier he recognized immediately. “I was looking for Helaena.”

“Of course” he said, stepping aside to let her pass and holding the door open for her. With another polite gesture, she moved past him, her presence filling the space of the room. Helaena gave him a small knowing smile as the princess entered.

He let out a long weary sigh as he closed the door, feeling a growing sense of unease.

That night, after a long bath, he once again found himself unable to sleep. Sitting at the edge of his window, he gazed out at the clear sky while idly spinning a sapphire between his fingers. The distant roar of Vhagar echoed, and the restless tides mirrored his own agitation.

With a long sigh and a sudden resolve, he adjusted his patch back in place, rose and walked toward the fire crackling in his room. Lighting a candle, he moved quietly towards the back door, leaving the sapphire behind.

It had been years since he last opened it; since that night, he had avoided the path, as if keeping it shut could keep that memory at bay. Now, driven by an unknown force, he opened it swiftly and stepped into the hallway.

A light from the other end caught his attention. It was her, holding a candle, walking toward him with a serious and determined face. Upon seeing him, her eyebrows rose slightly in surprise. They both stopped in their tracks, staring at each other. Words crowded in his throat, unable to be spoken.

“I wished to speak with you” she said softly, breaking the silence gently. He nodded, still silent, fearful that his voice would betray him. “Shall we go to your chambers?” she suggested, her tone firm but laden with silent expectation.

He nodded again, feeling foolish for having been paralyzed. He gestured towards the way, even though she knew it by memory. Stepping aside to let her pass, his heart pounded with a frantic, uncontrolled rhythm. She pushed open the door that had remained ajar and entered with the same familiarity of years past.

He closed the door behind them and approached cautiously. She moved to the window, where the moonlight bathed her in a silvery glow. He noticed then how she was dressed, wearing a robe over her nightgown and her curls disheveled, contrasting with the elegance of the breakfast, yet to him, she looked utterly divine.

She faced him. A pang of sorrow struck him at her expression. “Why?” she asked, showing a vulnerability that made him feel even more guilty.

“Why what?” he replied, dreading what was to come.

“Why did you never come to see me?” The question felt like a dagger, striking with precision. He looked at her, feeling a knot in his stomach.

He opened his mouth to respond, but the words escaped him. Finally, he found his voice, though weak. “I did not know if you wished for my presence” he murmured, his words sounding hollow even to himself.

She looked at him as if unable to believe what she was hearing. “Is this some jest? I asked you so many times” she said, her tone incredulous. He furrowed his brow. “Did my letters mean so little to you that you did not even take the time to read them?” she added, her bitterness palpable.

He felt as though the world was swaying beneath him. “What letters?” he asked, trying to process everything, his voice softer, trying not to alarm her further.

“The letters!” she said, her words laced with indignation and sadness. “The ones I sent you” she continued. “I thought we had something special. Did I imagine it?” Her tone trembled with emotion. “I waited for so long, I wrote to you so many times, like a fool.” Her voice broke, and she covered her face with her hands. “I hoped… I hoped for a response, a visit, something to let me know you hadn’t forgotten me.”

He took a step forward quickly, his heart pounding against his chest, feeling an urgency he could not ignore. “You wrote me?” he asked, incredulous.

She lowered her hands, her eyes burning with impotent fury. “Do not mock me” she said, turning away, looking out the window again.

He followed her, overwhelmed by a newly discovered helplessness and a fluttering hope of reconciliation. “I wrote to you as well, hundreds of times” he tried to meet her gaze, seeking some glimmer of understanding. “I swear this to you, by all the gods” he pleaded.

“I never received a single letter from you” she replied, finally looking at him with her beautiful eyes shining under the moonlight, her anger softening momentarily with disbelief.

"Nor did I. Not one. Had I received any, I would have come to you at once. You must believe me," he said, “I thought you did not want to hear from me” he whispered desperately, his deepest fears laid bare.

“Why would I not?” she asked, still with a hint of distrust in her eyes from the revelation. Everything seemed so absurd and cruel, yet he felt as though a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

She shook her head, her steps carrying her nervously back and forth in the room, her mind working frantically to understand. “It does not make any sense” her voice was a barely audible murmur, more to herself than to him. “Why?” She continued to mutter, her voice filled with a mixture of frustration and anguish, while he merely watched her.

Suddenly, she turned to face him, her eyes searching for an answer he did not have. “Are you not upset about this?” she asked, her voice rising slightly, annoyed.

He continued to watch her, feeling a strange sense of peace amid the chaos. "I cannot find it within myself to be angry at this moment," he replied, "not when you are here before me once more." His voice was filled with a sincerity that surprised even him.

There were so many emotions at play, so many unresolved things, but at that moment, all that mattered was that they were face to face once more.

“I never stopped thinking about you, wondering why I never heard from you, missing you.” He wanted to reach out, touch her, somehow close the distance that had formed between them, but he couldn’t. “I never wanted to lose you.”

“Is that true?” she asked, almost whispering. “Did you truly never stop thinking about me?” She looked at him, her eyes filled with unshed tears. For a moment, time seemed to stand still, and in that shared silence, he understood the magnitude of what they had lost and what they might still recover.

He took another step towards her, his expression sincere. “Never” he said firmly, hoping she could see the truth in his eyes. “Not for a single second.”

She looked at him, her expression softening, and bit her lip, struggling to hold back the flood of emotions.. But the pain and confusion were still present, like a shadow that refused to dissipate. “This is… too much” she murmured, shaking her head slightly.

He nodded, understanding the enormity of what they had just uncovered. “I understand” he said softly. “Take all the time you need.”

She turned, intending to leave the room, and he followed, prepared to escort her to her door. But just before they could move too far, she suddenly stopped and turned back to him. In an impulsive move, she threw herself at him with force, wrapping her arms around his waist in a desperate embrace. She pressed her face against his chest, her hands clasped tightly on his back, holding him with an intensity that suggested she feared losing him forever if she let go.

He, taken aback by the gesture and despite feeling he didn’t deserve her pure affection, couldn’t help but reciprocate the embrace. He wrapped his arms around her with a tenderness he rarely showed, letting himself be carried away by the moment. He rested his face on the crown of her head, breathing deeply, the sweetest and freshest scent of roses filling his senses, enveloping him in an intoxicating warmth.

It was a silent comfort. He realized how much he had longed for this contact, this closeness, more than he had even admitted to himself.

"I'm sorry" she murmured against his chest. "I'm sorry for everything." Tears began to fall, dampening his shirt. He could feel the rapid beat of her heart against his body.

She lifted her head, her eyes shimmering with something more. He found himself getting lost in that gaze. “What do we do now?”

With a gentle smile, he caressed her cheek with his thumb, wiping away a tear that had escaped. "I won’t let us be separated again" he promised, his voice firm yet tender. “If you will allow me, I wish to mend what has been broken.”

She nodded, and for a brief moment, the world seemed to shrink to the small space between them, where only the two of them existed.

@helaenaluvr @purplegardenwhispers @callsignwidow @squidscottjeans @scarletbedlam @fics-i-love-and-recommend @oh-you-mean-me @fossface @truly-abysmal

#aemond targaryen fluff #aemond one eye #aemond targaryen x female reader #house of the dragon #aemond x reader #aemond targaryen x reader #aemond targaryen #ewan mitchell #hotd aemond #hotd fanfic

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ghoulsbounty · 5 months ago

Note

Could I possibly ask for a second part to What Happens Tonight, where maybe he gets a little more vulnerable with the reader and we see some of those walls being broken down? (But not fully, I still LOVE the angst of him not wanting to give himself fully to someone and how the reader struggles with it)

What Happens Tonight pt 2

Cooper Howard (The Ghoul) x Ex-Vaultie!Reader (fem)

Summary: After the events during the radstorm, you confront the Ghoul about his true feelings.

Warnings: smut (18+), riding, a lot of grinding, fingering, the gloves stay ON, feeding Rad-X, mutual pining, emotionally stunted Cooper, slight soft!dom Cooper, miscommunication, angst.

Word Count: 3.1K

A/N: Thank you for all the love received on WHT part one, and thank you anon for specifically requesting a part two. I had a lot of fun with this one and delved more into the smut but still tried to make sure Cooper kept his boundaries. I’d love to know what you all think to this, and feel free to send me more requests 💌

👉 Read part one HERE 👈

It had been several weeks since you sought refuge in the vault, a period marked by the moment you surrendered yourself entirely to Cooper. The memory of that night left a persistent ache between your thighs, serving as a constant reminder of the intimacy you shared and the emptiness you now felt. Despite this, Cooper had not addressed the matter with you since then. Whenever you attempted to discuss what had come to be known as "the night of the radstorm," he would abruptly turn away, his body rigid and his gaze averted. The tension between you grew with each passing day, the unspoken words creating a chasm that seemed impossible to bridge.

By the time you both composed yourselves the next morning, the sinister weather had come and gone. While the storm had left a physical mess outside, the emotional turmoil between you had created an even greater one. An awkwardness had settled over your relationship, forming an invisible barrier that hadn't existed before. You longed for this tension to vanish as the storm had, but it persisted, clinging to your interactions like a second skin. This discomfort coloured every conversation, every glance, leaving you both trapped in a web of unspoken words and unresolved feelings.

You supposed this was the consequence of crossing that boundary, daring to entertain the notion that you and the Ghoul could be more than mere traveling companions. Your relationship had always been one of convenience, a mutual arrangement for survival. But that night had altered everything—at least for you.

Constantly, you replayed the moments in your mind: the intimacy you shared in that confined space, the way his hands moved over your body with a mix of urgency and reverence. You wondered if you had misread the signals, if the heat of the moment had clouded your judgment. The way he touched you, the way he held you—it all felt so real, so genuine. Yet now, it seemed like a fleeting dream, dissipating in the harsh light of reality. Each touch, each whisper of that night lingered in your thoughts, making you question the line between reality and illusion, and leaving you to ponder whether the connection you felt was ever truly mutual.

But weren't you the one who assured him it would mean nothing? And yet, here you were, longing for him every night as you lay on your bedroll, the void he left behind more palpable than his presence ever was. You couldn't help but feel the emptiness, the way his absence seemed to echo within you.

You found yourself watching him when he wasn't looking, searching for any sign that he felt the same way, that he missed you too. But he remained closed off, his walls higher than ever. Each glance in his direction was met with an unyielding façade, leaving you to wonder if he had already moved on or if he, too, was silently grappling with the same confusion and longing that plagued your thoughts.

You tried to focus on the tasks at hand, to distract yourself with the daily challenges of survival. Yet, every silence between you, every avoided glance, only deepened the chasm that had formed. The tension was a constant reminder of what had changed, making it difficult to concentrate on anything else.

You found yourself wishing for another storm, another night where you could both let down your guards and be vulnerable with each other again. But you knew better than to rely on such whims. Reality rarely afforded such convenient opportunities. You had to face the growing divide head-on, even if it meant confronting the possibility that the connection you craved might never be rekindled.

One evening, as the sun dipped below the horizon and cast long shadows across the wasteland, you found yourself alone with Cooper once more. The silence between you was heavy, almost suffocating, and you knew that you couldn't go on like this. You needed to address the elephant in the room, to find some way to mend the rift that had formed.

"Cooper," you began hesitantly, your voice barely above a whisper. "We need to talk about what happened that night."

He stiffened at your words, his eyes flickering briefly to yours before he looked away. "There's nothing to talk about," he replied, his tone clipped and guarded.

You took a deep breath, gathering your courage. "You know that's not true," you countered, looking down at him from where you stood. The warm glow from the crackling fire highlighted his features as he leaned back against the wall from his position on his bedroll.

Cooper's eyes flickered with a mix of emotions, but he remained silent, staring into the flames as if searching for answers. You stepped closer, the soft crunch of your boots on the gritty floor the only sound in the otherwise quiet room.

"That night," you continued, your voice steady despite the fluttering in your chest, "I said whatever happened wouldn't matter but... I was wrong. It meant something, and I need to know what it meant to you."

He sighed deeply, running a hand over his bald head before meeting your gaze. "You talk too much," he said in a biting tone, eyes downcast as he kicked his boot out in frustration.

"And you don't talk enough," you said defiantly, lightly kicking at his boot when he still refused to meet your gaze despite the scoff that escaped his lips. "You can't just ignore me, or pretend it didn't happen. If you regret it... well, I can handle it. I'm a big girl, Cooper."

"We'd be stupid not to regret it," he admitted, his hands occupied with reloading bullets into the bandolier on his lap. "Doesn't mean I didn't like it," he added quietly, almost to himself.

His words left you feeling conflicted. On one hand, you were relieved to hear that he had found pleasure with you, perhaps as much as you did with him. But the admission of regret lingered, casting a shadow over the memory. He wanted you to feel the same remorse, but you couldn't bring yourself to do so.

"I don't regret it," you declared, your voice firm. "I wanted you then, and I still want you now. Whatever it is that's holding you back, that's between you and your own conscience. But here I am, with you, and I want you."

His eyes snapped to you then, dark and swirling with emotion as he glared up at you. "Have you been taking those pills?"

You looked at him, confused, searching your memory for what he meant until the Rad-X pills surfaced in your mind. You remembered taking one that night after he'd left them on the bed, then discarding them into the recesses of your bag and not thinking about them since.

"What do the pills have to do with anything?" you asked, still bewildered.

Cooper's jaw clenched, frustration etched across his features as he averted his gaze once more. "Supposed to take 'em before exposure," he muttered, "but you were going wild, locking those thighs 'round me so damn hard. I might not seem like it, sweetheart, but I'm just a man," he added, his voice carrying both irritation and a hint of amusement.

Your cheeks flushed at his words, recalling the intensity of the moment when you ground down on his cock as he attempted to pry you off him, moments before he relented and filled you with his hot load.

"If you've been taking them regularly," he continued, meeting your eyes with a meaningful glance, "you'd likely have developed a fair resistance by now."

Accepting the Rad-X felt like a symbolic gesture, a token of protection offered in the aftermath of that intimate moment, meant to erase any lingering traces of radiation from him. You appreciated his small attempt at aftercare, yet couldn't shake the feeling that it was tinged with regret for his own actions. Now, as he sat before you, finally meeting your gaze after what felt like an eternity, a realization dawned upon you: his offering wasn't just a momentary solution, but a precaution for the future. It hinted at a desire for something more.

Your heart swelled with the realization, a mixture of relief and hope before reality dawned on you. "I haven't been taking them," you admitted, your voice soft but steady. "I didn't know that you wanted me to."

He rolled his eyes at the whine that cracked your voice, discarded his bandolier on the ground beside him before lifting his hand towards you with a curled finger in a beckoning gesture. Almost instinctively, you found yourself drawn towards him until you were standing above him, your legs positioned on either side of his as he gazed up at you. His gloved hands traced up the sides of your legs, pausing at your hips before firmly grasping them and tugging you down to your knees, so that you straddled him. A gasp escaped you, a blend of surprise and anticipation echoing in the air.

"Don't get it, do you?" he murmured, his voice a rough whisper against your ear as he pulled you closer. "I wanted to get you ready for me."

You shivered at his words, the intensity of his gaze boring into yours as you leant back to look at him. "Cooper, I—"

"Shh," he interrupted, his hands tightening on your hips, grounding you. "You're still talking too much."

His lips captured yours in a bruising kiss, his tongue pushing for dominance over yours as he held you tight against him. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders for balance, feeling the rough fabric of his coat beneath your fingertips as he dragged your clothed cunt against the growing erection straining his dirty pinstripe pants. The friction sent sparks of pleasure through your body, your hips moving instinctively to grind against him, seeking more.

Cooper's grip on your hips tightened, his fingers digging into your flesh as he guided your movements, his kiss growing more demanding. You moaned into his mouth, the sound swallowed by his insistent lips. Every drag of your body against his made you wetter, your desire pooling between your thighs and soaking through the fabric of your underwear.

With a swift motion, he tugged your shirt over your head, tossing it aside before leaning in to capture one of your nipples between his teeth through the thin fabric of your bra. You gasped, your back arching as his hands worked to unclasp the garment and free your breasts. The cool air hit your skin briefly before his mouth was on you again, sucking and nipping at your sensitive flesh.

Your hands fumbled with the lapels of his coat, desperate to feel more of him, to erase the barriers between your bodies. He helped you, shrugging out of the heavy garment and discarding it with a careless flick of his wrist. You were pleasantly surprised when he let you undo the buttons of his waistcoat, shrugging it off before he stopped your fingers at their decent on his shirt.

"It stays on," he told you gruffly, a hint of vulnerability in his voice that urged you to accept his decision without a second thought. You nodded, your hands running over the fabric of his shirt and across his chest, down his abdomen, feeling the hard muscle beneath the material, the scars that told stories of his past. He groaned at your touch, his hips grinding up against you as his hands slid down to the waistband of your pants, deftly undoing the button and zipper.

"Lift up," he commanded, and you complied, rising just enough for him to peel the garment down your legs, your underwear following shortly after. You were completely exposed to him now, the cool air of the room making you shiver as he gazed at you with a hunger that made your pulse race.

"What a sight," he said, his voice rough with need as he pulled you back down onto his lap, your bare cunt pressing against his clothed erection

You whimpered, the heat of him so close yet so far driving you crazy. "Please, Cooper," you whispered, rocking your hips against him. "I need you."

"I know," he replied with a wicked grin, his hands gripping your ass and guiding your movements, the friction of his pants against your clit making you see stars. "Been needing you for a long time now. Long before that night."

You nibbled on your lip, the waves of pleasure cresting within you almost overwhelming as you surrendered to the sensation of him beneath you. "What kept you so long?" you gasped, your hand instinctively caressing the nape of his neck, your thumb tracing the contours of the thick muscles there.

He chuckled, leaning into your touch, his gaze lingering thoughtfully on your face. "Just honing my patience," he replied with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

You huffed in exasperation at his calm demeanour, your hands moving to undo the buckle of his belt and the buttons of his pants. As you attempted to reach for him, your hand was swatted away, and you tried again, only to be met with the same resistance. "Hey, cut it out," you scolded him, a mix of frustration and desire evident in your tone.

"You'll get it, don't you doubt," he teased, his voice low and playful. With a swift movement, one gloved hand slid between your bodies, his fingers finding their way into your wet heat. A gasp escaped your lips as he penetrated you, his touch igniting a fire within you. Another finger joined the first, and he expertly curled them upwards, hitting that sweet spot inside you that had you burying your face in the crook of his neck with a muffled cry. "Oh, there she is," he declared proudly, a smirk evident in his voice.

You mewled softly against his salty skin, your lips pressing eagerly against the muscle as he slid his leather-clad fingers in and out of you with a delicious rhythm. Each movement sent waves of pleasure coursing through your body, and you couldn't help but rock your hips into his palm, seeking out the friction that made your nerves sing.

You trailed hot kisses along the skin of his neck, feeling his pulse quicken beneath your lips, and then, unable to resist, you bared your teeth and bit down gently. His response was immediate—a deep, guttural groan—as he grabbed at your ass with his free hand, urging you on, encouraging you to ride his fingers with abandon.

Your mind swirled with the sensations of being wrapped around him once more, your movements growing increasingly erratic as you chased the elusive peak of pleasure. He smiled against your bare shoulder, his hand releasing it's hold on your behind to fumble inside your bag that rested beside him as he anticipated your impending climax.

Seconds later, he pushed you back slightly, holding a small brown bottle in his hand. You whined in protest as his fingers slowed to a taunting pace inside you, desperate to regain the momentum you had lost. Your hips bucked instinctively, urging him to quicken the pace once more.

He tapped your cheek lightly with two fingers from the hand that held the bottle, meeting your gaze with a serious expression. "One more move like that, and I'll take them out," he warned, his tone firm but tinged with amusement.

You frowned at the threat but nodded in compliance. Your eyes followed his movements as he deftly unscrewed the cap of the bottle with his teeth, retrieving one of the red pills with his fingers before setting the bottle aside. He held the pill out to you, his gaze fixated on your mouth as he spoke. "Let me see it."

You hesitated for a moment, then complied, slowly opening your mouth and extending your tongue for him. He delicately placed the pill on your tongue, prompting you to close your mouth with another tap on your cheek. As you did, he captured your lips in another passionate kiss, his tongue dancing with yours as he gently manipulated the pill inside your mouth. Finally, he pulled away, leaving a trail of saliva between your lips as he watched you swallow the pill with a satisfied smile.

Your body vibrated at the intimacy, eyes blown as you felt his thick thumb begin to circle your clit, his earlier ministrations continuing as he fucked you hard with his fingers, bouncing you on the palm of his hand. His free hand slid back over the curve of your ass, squeezing firmly as he intensified his movements.

"C-Cooper, please," you began, your voice trembling with need as the heat between your legs intensified, the sound of your wetness filling the quiet room. You dug your nails into his shoulders, anchoring yourself in the overwhelming sensation as he pressed his thumb against your clit, sending waves of pleasure coursing through your body.

"Almost," he murmured, pushing against the spongy spot inside you that had you hurtling towards the edge. Your eyes rolled back as you gushed into his palm, hot liquid streaming down your thighs as you screamed his name. He smirked, his fingers never ceasing their relentless pace as he stroked you through your orgasm. Wrapping his arm around your waist, he rocked you against him, grounding you in the midst of your intense pleasure. His breath was hot against your ear as he whispered, "That's it, let it all out."

When the last surge of your climax had left your body, you slumped against his chest, head nestled in the crook of his neck as you caught your breath. You kissed his neck, running your lips up his strong jaw until you met his cracked lips. He hummed into you, grabbing your wrist tightly when you began to trail it down to the bulge in his pants.

"Easy there," he muttered, his breath hot against your ear. His grip on your wrist was firm, almost possessive, and he held you close. "What's the hurry, sweetheart?"

You regarded him with incredulity, your gaze searching his eyes for any sign of understanding as you boldly voiced your desire. "I took the pill," you stated firmly, your words weighted with intent. "I want you to fuck me."

He chuckled, his gaze briefly dropping before meeting yours once more. "Oh, I know you do," he said, withdrawing his fingers from your sopping core. A whimper escaped your lips as your walls clenched around nothing, longing for the sensation he had just provided. He brought his glistening gloved fingers to his lips, licking at them with a low groan of approval. Then, he pressed the tips of his digits against your parted lips, hooking them inside your lower teeth while holding his thumb beneath your chin.

"Let this be your lesson to take the fuckin' pills," he admonished, his voice carrying a mixture of gratification and warning.

His hands fell away, and you frowned at the sudden absence of his touch. He placed the previously discarded pill bottle in your palm, closing your fingers around it gently before guiding you off his lap and onto your bedroll beside him with a soft thud. Stretching his arms above him, he folded them behind his head, settling further back against the wall as he gazed out at the crackling fire.

"Until then," he murmured, his voice carrying a hint of resignation, "we'll both be practicing a little patience."

#cooper howard x reader #the ghoul x reader #cooper howard x you #the ghoul x you #fallout #cooper howard smut #the ghoul smut #fallout prime #fallout fanfiction #cooper howard #the ghoul #fallout x reader #fic request #fallout smut

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amica-aenigmata-naboo · 9 months ago

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Hypersexual

Astarion x Y/N - drabble - 1K WC

Masterlist

Warnings: reference to SA if you squint?, Astarion being soft, reader being defensive af, persistent Astarion, happy ending because I'm weak

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It was one of the first things Astarion noticed about you. Your bed was rarely empty. The Grove, the Goblin Camp, the Underdark, Moonrise Towers, etc. Everywhere you went you seemed to have a warm body beside you by the end of the night. Himself included. He pined for your attention. Feeding from you daily brought you close, sleeping with you brought you closer, opening up bit by bit brought you even closer. And yet, he could still find the occasional rando leaving your tent at first light. If he listened closely enough, he could almost always hear sniffles coming from your tent every time someone left. He typically ignored it, opting to not care so he didn’t get attached. Unfortunately for him, he was attached. He had been for a while and seeing people leave your tent was like a knife to the chest every time. He wanted to confront you eventually, so that's what he did.

He walked over to your tent, hearing the sniffles intensify the closer he got. When he peered inside he saw your naked form, balled up tight, sobbing quietly. He saw the hickies and claw marks the tiefling from last night had left on you. “Y/N?” he whispered.

You swiftly wiped your tears away as you moved to cover yourself up. “Astarion, darling. It’s so early, is everything alright?” You threw on the best smile you could manage while willing yourself to shed no more tears.

“Why are you crying?” he asked as he moved into your tent fully.

“Tears of pleasure.” you waved him off, doing your best to sound lustful.

“You’re a terrible liar, my sweet.” he said as he sat opposite from you but still giving you space.

You sighed, rolling your eyes, “Why do you care anyways?” you cringed internally, that sounded harsher than you intended.

Astarion’s eyes softened a bit, “Because I care for you.” he said honestly.

“Because I’m your blood bag,” you scoffed. “Worry not, I’m well enough for you to feed so… get on with it I guess.” you said as you tucked your hair behind your ear, leaning in for him to chomp down on your pulse point.

Yet you felt nothing but the cold night air. Your eyes found his after a moment of hesitation. “What?” you said.

“You are so much more than food.” he said, a guilty look on his face. Is that all you thought of him? Somebody using you? “Why do you sleep with them?” he asked suddenly, trying to connect the dots in his head.

Your eyes widened, “It’s none of your business.” you said, your voice wavering. “I like sex, so why not?” your eyes avoided his, afraid he would see the truth in them.

“Terrible liar.” he whispered, his foot tapping against your knee trying to get your attention.

“Because it makes it all hurt a little less!” you yelled, his consistent questioning pushing you over the edge. “Because it fills the fucking void somebody put inside me. They used me, they hurt me. So if I can be desired, even for a moment, I will.” you felt tears stream down your cheeks as Astarion watched you, his mouth slightly agape. “This horrible feeling sits inside me like tar. Black and oozing and there is nothing I can do to fix it. I sleep with them because I want to know I can still be desired if I cannot be loved.”

“Who said you cannot be loved?” he said, leaning forward to wipe a tear from your face with his thumb.

“I… I just can’t… nobody can love me after what they did to me. Taking my body, playing with it while I just laid there… frozen. I thought they loved me…” you mumbled, memories from your past flooding you.

“I love you.” he said simply.

Your head whipped up to gaze at him, “You don’t even know what love is Astarion.” you turned away from him so he couldn’t see you cry.

“On the contrary… I have seen lust. I did it for 200 years. But this ache I have inside me, the longing I have for you and only you. That, I believe, is love. And… I like to imagine you feel the same way.” Astarion put a hand on your shoulder, moving slowly when you initially flinched away.

“How can you love me? Aren’t you disgusted?” you whimpered. You wanted to believe him so badly, but how could you? You were made to be used.

Astarion shifted so he could see you as he tilted your quivering chin upwards. “For sleeping with others? Darling I have bedded thousands.” he rubbed your cheek reassuringly.

“That’s different. You didn’t have a choice.” you said, your voice coming out strained.

“I would argue that you didn’t either. When someone violates you like that… I’ve seen it go two ways. You overindulge, or you isolate. Both are natural reactions. Yours was to try and find solace, penance in others. None of it is shameful… it’s just… how things are I suppose.” he said, struggling a bit to find the right words but you felt the connection he was trying to make.

“Each of them took a little piece of my soul… I’m not sure how much is left of me to give.” you shuddered in a breath, trying to calm yourself.

“I don’t want your soul… All I ask is your heart, in exchange for mine.” he smiled at you, moving to hold your hand while he cupped your cheek. You had never seen eyes with so much sincerity and kindness.

“I… I’d like that.” you whisper, leaning your forehead against his for a moment before your eyes opened once again with worry. “Do we have to…” you motioned between the two of you and the bedroll.

“Not until you want to. Completely, freely.” he nodded at you.

“And if I never want to?” you asked cautiously.

“Then I will love you all the same.” he leaned in slightly. He could feel your breath on his lips but waited for you to close the gap.

You kissed him softly. He could feel the fear and apprehension in your kiss. While you felt the patience and adoration in his.

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Naboo's Note:

Hello lovelies! Hope ya'll like this one as well. Two in one night? What a deal lol I really like this one. Is it a bit of a trauma dump? Yes but writing is how I get it out and Astarion would 10000% comfort me through any of it. We love a supportive king. What a guy. Anyways! - be safe everyone, see ya'll soon!

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donascozylivingroom · 11 months ago

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AFFIRM ONE WORD FOR ALL UR DESIRES

I think I found a new way of manifesting that involves robotic affirming, the list method and code words.

I thought like a week ago, could we just create one word affirmations? Because our subconscious knows what we are referring to anyways? Like instead of 'i am beautiful" to affirm something like "beautiful", if u know what it means to u.

So yesterday I saw a post someone made about this subject, affirming just one word, so it was a big confirmation, and I thought like why don't I make a list of all my desires and write down the new assumption that every time I think this new code word (any word u decide on, like strawberry, blueberry, anything), it means/I assume my entire list is my now reality.

I wrote my list in affirmation format so I added that every time I think/repeat the code, all affirmations in 'my list' repeat 10.000 times in my subconscious mind.

So imagine saying it super fast while lying in bed for 10 mins? Pretty sure u can get 1000 repetitions in but u shouldn't force urself to, it is already repeating 10k times when u say it once.

Idk I put everything on my list from weight loss to dream life, money, clothes, Pinterest desires etc.

I also put affirmations for my family and like "everything works out in my favor" and they've been bothering me much less in those 24 hrs I've been affirming.

Also lost weight visibly.

I'm a big persistence gal so I am ready to get everything on my list, will update.

I saw here on Tumblr (I'm new to it) about putting the void off the pedestal, well I included affirmations about all my desires being off the pedestal.

I also added happiness, health and most importantly, safety.

But a lot was about my selfish material desires teehe

I won't say my code word, cause it's personal, but if u wanna do this choose something short that resonates and lights u up, that u can easilly link to the list.

The way I did my list is I wrote all my desires in affirmation format but left space at the top to write something along the lines of "every time I affirm this code in my mind it means that all the affs in the following list are already my reality" u can add "no matter how long the list is"

Of course u can affirm "all my wishes come true" and skip the list method but for me it was fun and I like being a bit more in control of what manifests.

#loa #loassumption #law of assumption #the list method #manifesting #manifesation #affirmations #affirm and persist #affirmdaily #persistence #affirmyourreality #robotic affirming #material possessions

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weevil-wallflower · 7 months ago

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Inquisitive Experiments

Cal Kestis x Reader

Summary: Cal's gaze lingered on You, his heart pounding with a mixture of nerves and anticipation as he contemplated the possibilities swirling in his mind. "You know," he began when You didn’t address him first, his voice barely above a whisper, "I've been thinking… We could try something different in the bedroom. Spice things up a bit."

Warnings/Tags: NSFW 18+, f!reader but no pronouns used, no use of Y/N, unprotected sex, rough rex, dom!Cal, aftercare, during/post-Jedi: Survivor, no spoilers for Jedi: Survivor.

A.N.: I began story writing once more after a long time and while my writing has been greatly improved due to studies, English is still not my first language so I'm pretty nervous. Edited it like four times... Also my very first nsfw story so might not be super good. Aaaand this was written on a whim because inspiration struck after I played the game ^_^ Gif by me!

Word Count: ~4,201

Also on AO3!

The Mantis drifted through the depths of space, its metal hull humming softly in the void. It was a quiet night— or day? Time seemed to lose its grip as the ship travelled through deep space, the clock in the kitchen the only thing that provided a schedule.

For Cal, the silence of the ship often felt suffocating, a stagnant calm that seeped into every corner. With no external stimuli to break the monotony, the hours stretched on endlessly. Despite the ever-present hum of the engines and occasional beeps of the consoles, the silence weighed heavy on the redhead’s shoulders.

In moments like these, Cal couldn't help but feel a sense of restlessness growing inside him. Always a man of action, the absence of excitement or activity left him yearning for something more, anything to disrupt the monotonous rhythm of ship life. To him, the quietness of the Mantis wasn't just peaceful—it was downright boring. The extreme restlessness he felt only worsened upon seeing You relaxed on the sofa, looking content as You were absorbed in a holobook.

Meanwhile, in the quiet of the ship's charging station, BD-1 lay idle. Only Cal and You remained aboard, while the rest of the crew was scattered across different planets. The original plan to meet an informant on Zeffo was quickly abandoned when the seemingly shifty Twi'lek changed course, opting for Felucia instead. This unexpected detour promised to stretch their journey twofold, a deviation that typically wouldn't faze Cal, seasoned as he was in flying the Mantis solo for nearly half a decade. However, this only made him feel more tense, his mind working in overdrive to think of all the possible ways their informant may be scheming to lead them astray or worse.

You on the other hand, felt excitement surge within You as Cal's gaze bore into You from behind, even without relying on the Force to confirm it. Standing next to the ship's kitchen counter, his intense gaze, hidden beneath the cascade of his fiery hair that he'd allowed to grow past his ears, was undeniably fixed on your form. It sparked a flutter of anticipation, prompting a subtle shift in your posture as You switched to a new page, pretending to be absorbed in your holobook.

As the stillness persisted, Cal's restlessness reached its peak. Meditation crossed his mind momentarily but he decided he would rather spend time with You. You were right there, ripe for the taking. Hence, with measured steps, he walked closer to where You sat on the curved sofa, lost in the pages of your holobook. Towering over You, his presence loomed large, casting a shadow that seemed to swallow the dim light of the small lounge area.

Cal's gaze lingered on You, his heart pounding with a mixture of nerves and anticipation as he contemplated the possibilities swirling in his mind. "You know," he began when You didn’t address him first, his voice barely above a whisper, "I've been thinking... We could try something different in the bedroom. Spice things up a bit."

You glanced up from your holobook, your eyes widening in surprise at Cal's unexpected proposal. "Something new... in the bedroom?" You echoed, the words hanging in the air between you both, laden with both curiosity and budding excitement.

Cal nodded, a slight flush coloring his cheeks with excitement as he ventured further into uncharted territory. "You know, like roleplay or maybe even some light bondage," he suggested, feeling a shiver of anticipation run down his spine at the mere thought of it. So far, the two of you have only been engaging in activities that can be considered… vanilla, so to speak. Not that Cal disliked it— Anything with You involved got his blood pumping. But he was craving something new.

"Cal...!" You giggled, unable to contain your surprise at his bold suggestion. "This is so unlike you! What's the special occasion?" Your voice laced with amusement and intrigue, wondering what had sparked this sudden desire for experimentation by the usually reserved Jedi.

"Just felt like doing something different," Cal said, taking a seat next to You. "And besides, I've seen how you respond to certain things... I can tell it turns you on." His calloused hand reached out to caress your cheek gently, his green eyes full of desire.

"Oh, yeah?" You breathed out, leaning into his warm touch, savouring the sensation. "What kind of things do I respond to?" You asked, your voice tinged with curiosity, eager to hear his answer.

"Powerful gestures," Cal whispered, his other hand slowly sliding down to your waist, his touch sending a shiver down your spine. "The way you moan when I take control," he continued, his voice low and husky with desire. Leaning in closer, his lips brushed against your earlobe, sending a thrill coursing through You. "I want to hear more of those sounds," he murmured, his breath hot against your skin, igniting a fire within You.

Unable to believe how the typically kind and shy Jedi had suddenly become so assertive, You couldn't help but giggle nervously, your laughter betraying a mix of excitement. You rested your hands on his shoulders, feeling the firmness of his muscles beneath your touch as You pressed your soft breasts against his chest, the closeness between you both heightening the tension in the air.

Cal's heart raced at the sensation of your breasts pressing against him, a surge of gratitude flooding through him for having someone like You in his life. "I want to make love to you," he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper, filled with a raw intensity that mirrored the passion igniting between them.

The redhead then closed his eyes, taking a moment to savour the moment as he took a deep breath, allowing himself to become enveloped in the sensation of your body pressed against his. "Let me show you how much you mean to me," he murmured, his voice filled with tenderness and longing. With gentle strength, he lifted You up into his arms, cradling You close. He wanted to do so much more than that. But he was at a loss for words, unable to bear the thought of overwhelming You. Fortunately for him, the two of you often worked on one wavelength. Hence, he did not have to voice his desires again as You did it for him.

"I think I'm up for a little roleplay..." You whispered, your voice laced with anticipation, as he carried You towards the bedroom at the back of the Mantis.

Cal's eyes widened with surprise and excitement at your words. "Roleplay?" he echoed, his voice tinged with anticipation. With careful yet eager movements, he carried You into the bedroom and gently set You down on the bed, a mischievous grin spreading across his face as he prepared to indulge in whatever playful fantasy you both would come up with.

You couldn't help but laugh at his excitement, your eyes gazing up at him with adoration. "Do you... still have that Inquisitor uniform from our mission last time? When we infiltrated that Imperial base?" You asked, your voice tinged with a hint of shyness, the memory of that daring mission adding an extra layer of excitement to the scenario You had in mind.

"Yes, I do," The Jedi replied, his voice hitching slightly with anticipation. "You want me to wear it?" There was a moment of hesitation in his tone, uncertain of how You would react. But seeing the desire in your eyes, he knew he had to try.

"Mhm..." You eagerly nodded before quickly justifying yourself, your nerves causing You to ramble. "Not a big fan of Inquisitors, of course, since they're ruthless workers of the Empire and all that, but I do love to see you in dark armour or uniform...!" Your cheeks flushed slightly as You stumbled over your words, hoping he understood your preference despite the conflicting emotions tied to the attire.

His worries eased, Cal offered You a reassuring smile. "Don't worry, I understand," he said softly before leaving the room to retrieve the uniform. He felt a mix of excitement and nervousness himself as he sought out the outfit. Upon his return, he was clad in the dark suit, its distinctive black cape billowing behind him and sleek torso armour gleaming in the dim light of the room.

"S-so... we should get in character, right...?" You whispered, your wide eyes appreciatively trailing over the redhead's figure in the Inquisitor uniform. Despite the intimidating aura associated with Inquisitors, seeing Cal dressed as one only fueled your desire for him.

"How about I play the Jedi, and you play the Inquisitor hunting me down?"

Cal nodded, a wicked grin stretching across his features. "Yes, precisely," he affirmed. Stepping closer to You, his voice deepened, assuming the persona of the Inquisitor. "I've been tracking you for weeks, little Jedi."

You barely stopped yourself from letting out an excited squeal as the redhead fully embraced his role. Instead, You quickly stood up from the bed, your expression a mix of shock and fear. "How did you find me?!" You exclaimed, playing along with the scenario as your heart raced with anticipation.

"My training has prepared me well for situations like this, Jedi," the Inquisitor replied, his voice dripping with ominous authority. With purposeful strides, he advanced towards You, each step echoing in the small room. "Your hiding place was not so well-guarded after all," he added, his tone implying a sense of superiority and triumph.

You backed away as his menacing form advanced upon You, your eyes frantically scanning the room to calculate an escape route.

Cal stopped a few feet away from You, close enough to see the fear in your eyes but not close enough to make You feel trapped. "You're strong for a Jedi, little one," he said softly, his voice barely above a whisper. "But you're also alone." He let his gaze drift down your body before meeting your eyes again. "You should've stayed hidden," he said with a sigh, reaching to his side for his lightsaber hilt.

Taking advantage of his brief distraction, You swiftly sidestepped him and dashed towards the workbench where your own lightsaber lay.

Cal swiftly spun around, his hand gripping his lightsaber tightly as he faced You. "You think you can outsmart an Inquisitor, Jedi?" he asked, his voice dripping with darkness and menace. Yet, he hadn't even bothered to ignite his lightsaber, so confident in his ability to detain You without the use of a weapon.

Gripping your lightsaber in terror, its blade not yet ignited either, You glared up at the Inquisitor. "Leave now, if you know what's good for you," You attempted to sound threatening, but your voice shook with fear too much to be convincing.

Cal chuckled darkly. "You really think that will stop me?" he asked, taking another step closer to You. "I have hunted Jedi like you for years. You're nothing special." With a menacing grin, he reached out with the Force, attempting to pull your lightsaber from your grip, causing You to grunt and hold your weapon tightly. Your arm outstretched as it was almost pulled away, forcing You to plant your feet firmly on the ground in resistance.

The Inquisitor could sense your strength through the Force as you both struggled against each other. Finally, with a surge of effort, he succeeded in dislodging the lightsaber from your grip, causing it to fly into his outstretched hand.

Gasping as You were rendered defenseless, You realised You had no other choice but to flee. Quickly, You rushed over to the door, desperation urging You forward.

Unfortunately for You, the Inquisitor proved quicker, pushing You roughly against the wall. He pressed his body flush against yours, pinning You there as he looked into your eyes. "I can offer you another choice, little Jedi," he whispered, his voice laced with a sinister undertone.

"W-What other choice...?" You stammered, your voice trembling with uncertainty and apprehension.

His lips brushed against yours, his lips cold but his heart pounding in his chest as he slowly, gently claimed your mouth in a kiss. You softly returned the kiss, standing on your tip toes to meet him halfway, almost breaking character before glaring up at him after he broke it off a few moments later, his eyes gleaming with desire. "You could give yourself up," he said silkily.

"And become a slave to the Empire? Like you? No, thanks..."

Cal smiled darkly. "Unfortunate," he murmured, gripping your chin roughly to make You meet his gaze. "You're not as clever as you believe, Jedi. You have nowhere to run." His hand tightened around your chin, forcing You to hold his gaze. "You'll eventually be locked in a cell, but I can give you one last chance," he growled, his tone laced with lethal intent.

"You could give in... to me." He continued, pressing closer as he leaned down to whisper in your ear. "Or I'll have no choice but to make you mine by force."

"I-I'll never give in..." Your voice shook as your thighs pressed together, attempting to relieve some of the ache You felt in your core. You wondered what Cal would do if You chose the harder route.

In response, Cal's eyes flashed with a mix of lust and anger. "Then you leave me no choice," he growled, forcefully pushing You against the wall, eliminating any space between your bodies. His mouth descended upon yours in a brutal kiss, his tongue invading your mouth as he took what he desired, causing You to gasp and softly moan into the kiss, your hands clutching his broad shoulders in response.

Cal's grip on You tightened, his tongue dancing with yours as he claimed your mouth completely. His other hand slipped down to grope at your ass, squeezing the firm flesh through the clothes. He broke the kiss only to growl against your neck, "You'll submit to me, Jedi. And you'll enjoy it." He grabbed your arms, holding them above your head with one hand before leaning in to nip at your exposed neck, his teeth leaving marks as he continued to grope at your butt with his other hand.

The hand that had been holding your arms captive slowly trailed down to your chest, roughly squeezing your breasts through your clothes, grinning menacingly against your neck. "You desire this," he growled, seizing a handful of your hair, causing You to wince as he pulled your head back, his lips grazing against your throat.

The redhead momentarily paused, whispering in your ear, his hot breath sending goosebumps rising on your skin. "Are you comfortable with this? Because I can go as far as you want," he murmured. He nipped at your earlobe, his other hand continuing to squeeze your breast through your clothes.

His question elicited a soft smile from You, your heart fluttering as Cal broke character to ask for your permission, demonstrating his deep care for You by being unwilling to hurt you, even unintentionally.

"I'm okay... I'm actually enjoying this so far," You shyly whispered, reassuring him. "Please, don't hold back. Be as mean to me as you want... I know I can always use the safe word if things feel too much."

Cal's smile returned as he slipped back into character. His eyes flashed with lust and power as he smiled cruelly, releasing your hair but maintaining his grip on your breasts. "You want me to be cruel? To take you against your will?" he questioned, his voice laced with dominance and desire.

"Please, Inquisitor... don't do this!" You whined, your tone almost playful as your soft folds moistened with arousal.

Cal chuckled darkly as he moved his hand to cup your sex through your pants, asserting his dominance. "Oh, but I will," he growled, his hand feeling how wet You were even through your clothes. His free hand reached up to undo his pants, pulling out his thick cock with a harsh grunt.

Your eyes widened at the sight of him. "I-I don't think it'll fit..." You whispered, aware that you both knew it was partially true. You just wanted to say it to boost the redhead’s confidence.

Cal smirked, taking it as a challenge. "Watch me," he growled, pushing your pants down and panties to the side. He positioned himself at your entrance, his thick cockhead pressing against You slowly. "Are you sure you don't want me to go easy on you?"

Your lips curled into a soft smile as your hands tenderly brushed against his cheeks, feeling the roughness of his stubble. You were so grateful for his concern and love for You.

"Yes, Cal... Don't hold back," You whispered, giving him permission to fully immerse himself in the moment.

Cal's heart skipped a beat at your words, feeling a surge of desire course through him. He pushed forward, slowly penetrating your tight folds. It was a struggle to get all of his girth inside You, but he managed it with a grunt. "Kriff..."

The intense pressure caused your back to arch off of the wall, pushing your breasts against the chest plating of his dark uniform, feeling his girth fill You to the brim.

The Inquisitor gritted his teeth, determined to fulfill your desires. He began to thrust slowly but powerfully, feeling his cock sinking deep inside You with every push. His free hand moved up under your shirt to cup one of your breasts roughly, pinching your nipple between his fingers.

"Oh... Oh, please, Inquisitor... It hurts..." You playfully whined, though your facial expressions conveyed anything but pain.

Cal chuckled darkly, the sound reverberating against your sensitive skin. "That's it, my little whore," he growled into your neck, his pace quickening as he took You roughly against the wall.

You squeaked and threw your head back, the unexpected derogatory word causing your inner walls to clench hard around him, eliciting a groan of pleasure from Cal. "You like that, don't you? Being called a whore?" he demanded, grabbing You by the hair and forcefully pulling your head back to make You meet his gaze.

Softly moaning, You gave him a little smirk, replying, "N-No, Inquisitor. Whatever gave you that idea?"

Cal laughed, his thrusts becoming even harder and faster. "Liar," he snarled, slamming into You with brutal force. His other hand slid down to your aching clit, teasing it roughly as he continued to pound into You.

The intense pleasure wiped the smirk off your face as You arched your back, closing your eyes in ecstasy. Your hands clutched Cal's shoulders tightly, one moving up to run your fingers through his fiery hair. You loved how he had allowed his hair to grow past their usual style.

Cal growled, feeling the pleasure coursing through him as he took You roughly against the wall. Sensing his climax approaching, he slammed his hips into yours with a feral intensity. "You enjoy being taken like this, don't you?"

"O-Only by you!" You gasped out, your legs wrapped tightly around his hips as he pounded into You, a grin spreading across his face as he felt his climax building rapidly. Leaning down, he captured your lips in a rough, passionate kiss as he continued to thrust into You, feeling your walls clenching around him tighter and tighter.

You moaned into the kiss, feeling Cal's tongue intertwining with yours as your walls tightened, signaling your impending climax. Cal's thrusts became more erratic as he neared his climax as well, the pleasure coursing through him reaching new heights. He felt your walls convulse around him as your release synchronised with his, and with a final roar of pleasure, he released himself inside You, filling You with his seed.

Cal panted heavily, his body shuddering as he leaned his head against yours, still buried inside You. He looked down at You, both your eyes locking in a moment of shared satisfaction. "That was... intense," he said with a chuckle, slowly pulling out of You.

"Mhm..." You hummed, feeling blissed out as You rested between Cal and the wall with your eyes closed, your legs feeling like jelly when the redhead gently placed You back on your feet. Letting out a satisfied sigh, Cal planted a gentle kiss on your forehead before he pulled You into a warm embrace, feeling a stirring of affection for You. "You're quite something, aren't you?"

"So are you..." You giggled, wrapping your arms around his neck. "Thank you for doing this with me..."

Cal smiled, his heart warming at your words. "No need to thank me," he said softly, nuzzling his face into your neck. "I enjoyed it just as much as you did."

"You enjoyed being bad to me...?" You teasingly whispered, unable to resist, pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth, causing his cheeks to flush at your words. But he couldn't suppress the smirk that spread across his face. "Well... perhaps just a bit," he admitted, brushing his lips against yours playfully. "But only because it made you feel good."

Your smirk softened into a loving smile at his words, overwhelmed by the sweetness of the man and the fact that he was yours. However, You were pulled from your thoughts when Cal's eyes widened as he noticed the bruises on your hips and thighs from where he had gripped You too hard. "Oh no, my love..." he said worriedly, tracing his fingers over the marks gently. "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have been so rough."

"Don't be!" You softly held his hands in yours, stopping him from fretting over You. "I wanted this, remember. And besides, it's a good kind of hurt."

Cal sighed, still grappling with a mix of emotions, both guilt and satisfaction, as he remembered the passionate encounter. He then scooped You up into his arms and carried You towards the refresher, setting You down gently on the edge of the tub, his mind set on making you feel better. "Perhaps we can take it easy and ensure you're feeling alright?"

"Oh yeah, what do you have in mind?"

With his eye green eyes full of love, Cal replied, "How about a nice bath together?" He began running the water, adjusting the temperature until it was warm and inviting. "We can sit back, relax, and just... enjoy each other's company."

"That sounds amazing..." You sighed in delight before smirking up at the redhead. "You might want to lose all that armor..." You gestured to the inquisitor uniform he still wore, prompting a soft chuckle and nod from him. "Good idea." He proceeded to unfasten the various straps and buckles of his armor, unveiling his toned physique underneath.

You observed his body with without shame, admiring the abundant freckles that dotted his skin like stars, the scars and muscles revealing his experience as a seasoned Jedi, etching the image into your mind. "As much as I enjoy seeing you in uniform, the downside is not being able to admire you in all your naked glory..."

Cal grinned at your comment. "Well, now's your chance." He stepped out of the armor entirely, standing fully naked before You. His anticipation palpable, his cock twitched slightly as he eased into the tub. But despite his returning excitement, he reminded himself that your comfort was of greater importance at that moment. Hence, with gentle hands, he guided You in, mindful of your still-unsteady legs after your intense session earlier. Your skin brushed softly against each other as you both tried to find a comfortable position.

Once You were settled in, You sighed contentedly and closed your eyes, feeling your body immediately relax as You nestled between his legs, leaning back against his strong chest. The warmth of the bath melted away both your sweat and any lingering tension from the encounter. In that moment, You couldn't help but reflect on how safe Cal always made You feel, more than anyone else has ever been able to.

Meanwhile, the Jedi leaned his head against yours, breathing deeply as he relaxed into the moment. Holding You close, he gently stroked your hair while you both shared the bath. The silence enveloped you, comfortable and serene, allowing the two of you to simply enjoy each other's company without words. Cal placed a tender kiss on the top of your head, feeling content in that fleeting moment of peace.

After some time, he began to softly massage your shoulders and back, his strong hands working out the knots of tension that had built up there. He continued down your spine, slowly working his way towards your hips and thighs.

As the redhead's soothing touches eased your tension, You couldn't help but emit soft, appreciative sounds, allowing your body to sink deeper into his embrace, raising one hand to gently caress his stubbled cheek. "You're so sweet to me..."

Cal's gaze softened as he leaned closer, his eyes fixed on yours. "You deserve all the sweetness in the galaxy, my love." He couldn't resist pressing his lips to yours, your lips meeting in a gentle but passionate embrace. In that moment, he poured all his love into that kiss, relishing the taste of You.

#cal kestis #cal kestis x reader #cal kestis x you #jedi fallen order #star wars jedi fallen order #jedi survivor #star wars jedi survivor #inquisitor cal kestis #star wars #cal kestis smut #smut #established relationship #minors dni #star wars fanfiction #fanfiction #my writing #🥀 wallflower writes

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psychics4unet · 2 months ago

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The Secrets of the Void: Entering the Ultimate Psychic State

Introduction: The Void is a profound state of consciousness where the mind transcends ordinary reality, offering deep psychic insights and spiritual experiences. Tapping into the Void can amplify your intuitive abilities and connect you with higher realms.

How to Enter the Void:

Prepare your space by choosing a quiet, comfortable location where you won’t be disturbed. Start by meditating deeply, focusing on your breath, and slowly clearing your mind of all thoughts. Visualize yourself floating in a vast, dark space, where nothing exists but you. Surrender fully to the emptiness, letting go of all expectations and concerns.

Practice deep, slow breathing to calm your nervous system and help you enter a state of deep relaxation. Light candles or incense to create a serene atmosphere, enhancing your focus on entering the Void. Use calming music or binaural beats designed to help reach altered states of consciousness. Try grounding yourself first by imagining roots growing from your body into the Earth, anchoring you in the present moment.

Adopt a comfortable posture, either sitting or lying down, that allows you to remain still for an extended period. Keep your eyes closed to reduce external stimuli and enhance your inward focus. Set a clear intention before you begin, asking for guidance or clarity during your journey into the Void. Practice mindfulness, bringing your awareness fully into the present moment, letting go of past and future thoughts.

Repeat a mantra or affirmation that helps you detach from your everyday thoughts and enter a deeper state. Focus on the space between your thoughts, allowing the silence to expand. Imagine yourself dissolving into the darkness, becoming one with the Void. Let go of the need to control your experience, allowing whatever arises to do so naturally.

Use visualization techniques to see the Void as a gateway to deeper understanding and insight. Imagine a doorway or portal in your mind’s eye that leads directly into the Void. Focus on your third eye, the center of your forehead, as a way to enhance your psychic awareness. Release all tension in your body, letting it melt away as you sink deeper into relaxation.

Practice yoga or gentle stretching beforehand to prepare your body for stillness. Keep a journal nearby to record any insights or experiences that come to you after your session. Set a timer to avoid checking the time, allowing you to fully immerse yourself in the experience. Consider fasting or eating lightly before your session to enhance mental clarity.

Focus on your breath, counting each inhale and exhale to help quiet the mind. Use crystals like amethyst or clear quartz to enhance your connection to the Void. Practice regularly, as entering the Void becomes easier with time and experience. Start with short sessions, gradually increasing the time spent in meditation.

Visualize yourself surrounded by a protective light, ensuring your journey into the Void is safe. Allow yourself to drift off if you feel sleepy; sometimes, the Void can be accessed in the space between wakefulness and sleep. Use essential oils like lavender or sandalwood to help calm the mind and body. Focus on the feeling of weightlessness, as if you’re floating in the vastness of space.

Clear your mind of all distractions, both internal and external, before you begin. Listen to your intuition, following any guidance or impressions you receive during your journey. Stay patient and persistent, as entering the Void can take practice and dedication. Consider using a guided meditation specifically designed to help you reach the Void.

Trust the process, even if your experience is subtle or different from what you expected. Be open to whatever messages or insights come to you, even if they seem unrelated at first. Allow yourself to feel the vastness and silence of the Void, embracing the stillness. Reflect on your experience afterward, noting any shifts in your awareness or understanding.

Practice detachment, letting go of any need for a specific outcome or experience. Keep your mind open, allowing the Void to reveal itself to you in its own time. Approach each session with a sense of curiosity and wonder, exploring the unknown depths of your consciousness.

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inbabylontheywept · 1 year ago

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Like Sharks

Scip was a brilliant engineer, a visionary, but even he struggled to comprehend the scale of the wreckage in front of him.

A single human ship. One. It had taken three of their eight super carriers and an amazing amount of luck to take it down.

Tip to tail, it was more than fifteen kilometers long. The crew space barely held five pilots.

The rest was just engine.

He’d been given as much background as the council itself had. He’d seen the battle footage. This abomination was bigger than their largest station, but it had still danced around the battlefield with all the grace of dust in the wind. If its weapon systems were fully operational, there would be no one left to speak of it. The fact that it had done all of this with nothing but short range PDC was terrifying. In ship on ship combat, it was like chasing down a sniper just to gut him with a knife.

Then repeating it, three times in a row.

Intellectually, he knew the ship was dead. People had already scoured the main cabin, pulled all of the frozen corpses out. He knew that. But deep down, he couldn’t truly believe it. There was a persistent hum that he could still hear emanating out from the craft, the muffled roar of the gravitational anomaly trapped in the engine. He’d been told that he’d be able to hear it the entire time he was within seven light seconds of the wreck, even in pure vacuum. It wasn’t air making the hum, it was space time itself, rippling as the caged beast pluck, pluck, plucked away from inside its gaol. He shuddered, imagining those ripples traveling out to pluck, pluck, pluck away at his ear.

“That’s how they’ve been doing it, you know.”

He turned around to look at the man who’d spoken. Elj? He was one of the few survivors of the battle. Everyone in the carriers was dead, and fewer than half of the people left stranded in their fighters made it long enough for the rescue craft to arrive.

Scip raised an eyebrow. Doing what?

“Getting around our lines. We’ve been blocking off all the hyperspace lanes between wormholes. Patrolling the infrastructure. We thought they were sneaking around us somehow.”

Elf nodded towards the wreck.

“No sneaking. Just… moving. They don’t rip their way through the void like we do. They swim in it.”

Scip shrugged mutely. He knew. That much had already been given to him. The knowledge was changing the upper brasses tactics, but not by much. It just wasn’t possible to guard choke points anymore. There weren’t any. The humans had designed their ships so that they could attack at any time, in any place, and leave without anyone knowing where they went. They’d built their ships like sharks, and even looking at it, even having it in front of him, he didn’t think he’d be able to figure out how to defend against them.

He spoke abruptly, clearing thick silence from the air.

"You know we're fucked, right?"

Elj laughed, and laughed, and laughed. When the mirth subsided, he put a warm hand on Scip's shoulder.

"Aye. But it's good to hear it from you too."

#hfy #humanity fuck yeah #humans are space orcs #humans are space oddities #scifi #humans are amazing #the prompt was "humans are the only species to develop true FTL #and not just use wormholes #science fiction #creative writing #reddit exodus #Babylon-HFY

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nepentheisms · 1 year ago

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You ever find yourself down and out, going through a real dark night of the soul? Well if your name's Vash, then fortunately for you, you've got a Meryl Stryfe on your side.

She came in clutch, and I'm proud of her. Nightow even conveys the moment Meryl's words of resolve reach Vash as a burst of light in the dark. After Vash kills Legato, we see his soul teetering on the brink. He feels truly lost, boxed inside an all-black space, wondering what reason he has to go on living, "What's there left to see?"

And as if in answer to prayer, sparks of light begin to appear around him. As our eyes follow the flow of panels down to the lower left, we're then hit with the impact of the space around Vash brightening dramatically as he hears Meryl's words. Her faith calls him out of the void, and he gets the answer to his question: Here are the people fighting to realize your dream. Here's the woman who declares that she's among those who will share your burden because it doesn't matter if you broke the vow that defined you for so long - you're still worth believing in. And here, right in front of you is a fragment of your sisters' memories - the key to finally bridging the gap between them and humanity. There's so much left to see.

I love how in every version of Trigun, it's the sheer persistence of Meryl's faith that pulls Vash out of his lowest points (I know Stampede hasn't reached this climax in Vash's emotional journey yet, but I think what we've seen with Meryl helping him break Knives' control is a foretaste of bigger things to come). That tenacity and refusal to give up are so central to her character. Once her convictions are set, she's incredibly steadfast in them, and it's this steadfastness that makes the Mary Magdalene comparisons even more fitting.

In Thomas Aquinas' reflection on Mary Magdalene, he calls her devotion "constant," and says "it deserves praise" as a quality that "made her fit to see the angels." Aquinas remarks that while the other disciples left when Jesus was buried, Mary Magdalene stayed because of her "stronger and more burning affection." Thus, she is privileged among the saints as the chosen witness and messenger:

"Notice the three privileges given to Mary Magdalene. First, she had the privilege of being a prophet because she was worthy enough to see the angels, for a prophet is an intermediary between angels and the people. Secondly, she had the dignity or rank of an angel insofar as she looked upon Christ, on whom the angels desire to look. Thirdly, she had the office of an apostle; indeed, she was an apostle to the apostles insofar as it was her task to announce our Lord's resurrection to the disciples."

So how fitting is it that Meryl ends the story as a news reporter and thereby having even more power to tell Vash's story? She has witnessed the most hidden aspects of him (a fact that makes a great point of comparison to the characterization of Mary Magdalene in the extracanonical Gnostic Gospels), and there's so much she could say to help the rest of the world learn to understand him. She now has the resources to share his message on a much greater scale, and in those last few pages we see that the people Vash met in his travels, people like Lina and her grandmother and Badwick's family, are among those watching the broadcast. Meryl gets the word out to others who came to know him directly: He is risen.

"Mary answered and said, What is hidden from you I will proclaim to you. And she began to speak to them these words: I, she said, I saw the Lord in a vision and I said to Him, Lord I saw you today in a vision. He answered and said to me, Blessed are you that you did not waver at the sight of Me. For where the mind is there is the treasure." -Gospel of Mary (extracanonical)

#trigun #trigun maximum #trigunbookclub #meryl stryfe #christianity mention #religion mention #Guns&God meta

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loreleismusings99 · 24 days ago

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Late Night Repairs

In which the quiet becomes a bit too much for Mark to handle.

Hi folks, I'm back for a little bit because I really wanted to participate in #spookyseasoninthebarrens2024 by @jmathesonandsiblings so I wrote this quick little thing for my baby girl, Mark! :3

This is for prompt 6: Haunted House

Happy Halloween, y'all 👻

Warnings: isolation, auditory/visual/tactile hallucinations, grief, fear/anxiety, hopelessness, brief discussion of sleep deprivation, description of someone suffering/dying from suffocation/asphyxia, discussion of death, eye horror, blood, missing loved ones, angst (technically). Please, please, please let me know if I missed anything that should be added to this list.

The soft beeps of the CO2 scrubber’s emergency alarm are deceptively loud and make Mark jump as it cuts through the impossibly still silence that comes with the night. One thing he still hasn’t gotten used to after being here for 23 days is how dead nighttime is on Mars. The increased thermal energy that comes with the sun usually yields soft winds that lightly rustle the HAB canvas and make small clouds of sand hit the airlock door, making it sound like he’s inside a rain stick. Once the sun sets though, an eerie silence creeps in with the sunset’s cold, blue, Mie-scattered light.

Maybe he’s just really missing having his crewmates with him, but he’s quickly started to hate the stillness that comes with living on a dead planet by himself. The more unsavory side effects of his isolation are much more unbearable--there’s something about not knowing when his solitude will end that makes the emptiness of his surroundings so much worse than the isolation training module he went through back on Earth. For the past few nights, every other corner he turns has an extra shadow he didn’t account for; the occasional puff of wind feels just a little too much like a hand and the whirring of the water reclaimer and heating unit running sounds devastatingly like a murmur. It was easier to ignore the first couple of nights--filling the silence as best as he could with episodes of Happy Days and Commander Lewis’s disco. Sometimes though--when he needs to charge his iPad or when he hyper-focuses on his work and forgets to turn something on to fill the space with more than the sounds of his breathing and the rustling of tools--his mind fills the void for him. Sometimes it’s a persistent ringing in his ears, others it’s a convincing recreation of Martinez’s laugh muffled by the walls of the HAB and his memory, making him tear through the HAB trying to find his friend only to be met with nothing but his loneliness.

He finishes typing out his log for the day, outlining the maintenance tasks he completed to keep his tragically high-tech tomb operational (if he’s gonna die here, he might as well do so warm and breathing clean air), and stands up out of his chair with a strained groan. Scratching at the stubble growing on his cheek, Mark walks across the main room of the HAB bubble to the complaining machine and takes off the white panel hiding the ducts, intake valves, and pumps of the robust Four Bed CO2 scrubber. The mechanical engineer takes some time listening to the motors and pressure-driven sounds of the machine, trying to locate a clue as to what part of the damn thing is blocked up this time. A soft whistle coming from the interface between the pre-cooler and a pipe connecting it to bed A-2 catches Mark’s attention, and he sees a small chunk of ice growing around the collar keeping the pipe in place at the valve.

“Well there’s your problem,” Mark utters under his breath as he turns the apparatus off using a panel immediately to the right of the box containing it and slips on a pair of cryo-gloves before touching the parts surrounding the cooling element, lightly dusting off the collection of ice crystals surrounding the collar before carefully removing it and cleaning the ice clogging the mouth of the duct. He re-mates the duct and the valve, torquing it back to a satisfying tension, and turns the machine back on, the pumps chugging away happily now that the blockage is gone.

Mark nods and puts the cover back onto the front of the scrubber’s casing before turning around to append a record of the repair to the end of his log. Or, he would if he wasn’t frozen in place staring out the porthole in the airlock door across the room from him. The scene outside is dark and barely perceivable due to the small diameter of the window and the contrast of the bright LED lights, but your piercing stare is something he’s profoundly accustomed to seeing--just… not outside the HAB’s airlock. He tries to move but the muscles in his legs merely twitch uselessly with the idea of walking towards the glass of the porthole. He tries to blink, but an impending sense of doom prevents him from attempting to break the unexpected eye contact. His heart clenches agonizingly in his chest, and he can feel the beginnings of a sob bubble up from his chest. Logically he knows this is a hallucination--likely made worse by stress and sleep deprivation--but that doesn’t stop him from calling out to you in a horse, pitiful squeak. His knees buckle slightly before the lights above him flicker and shut off, plunging him and the phantom image of you into near-full darkness.

Your face is now only dimly illuminated by a light that didn’t go out at the center of the room, but it’s enough for Mark to see angry red petechiae begin to bloom across your face, lips, and the delicate skin surrounding your now blood-shot eyes. The warmth drains from your face and his ears begin to ring as he watches you open your mouth, frothy and bloody fluid pouring beyond your lips. He’s shaking now as he watches you scream silently at him through the fluid pouring down your chin, pins and needles accosting his hands and feet as he finally musters the strength to turn away from your dying, angry visage and squeeze his eyes shut.

“This--this isn’t real, there’s no one there…” he mutters to himself, tears streaming down his cheeks as he tries to calm his breathing down. He opens his eyes again to discover that the lights either turned back on or were never off in the first place and he starts to lower his hackles, the muscles in his neck and shoulders beginning to relax. Slowly, Mark turns back around and looks through the porthole to find nothing staring back at him. Mark lets out a relieved, shaky breath before running a hand down his face and walking back to his chair to update his log. Typing the details of his repair with shaking hands he begins to properly sob and has to pause, scooting the chair back and winding an arm around his middle, the other raised to clasp his hand over his mouth to try to stop himself from screaming in grief and fear at both what his brain just conjured up and the very real possibility of never seeing you again and leaving you behind to mourn him. The force of his anguish makes him fold in on himself and he continues to sit there, trying to calm himself down at least for long enough to finish his log and get to bed.

After a bit, he feels the temperature drop and a shiver shoots down his spine. He goes rigid and his sobs stop abruptly and a soft, high-pitched, and short-lived whistle coming from somewhere else in the HAB commands his attention. The same feeling of dread oozes back into his chest as he listens to faint taps sound from behind him, getting louder as whatever is creating them gets closer to his chair and stops, letting emptiness fill the soundscape of the main lab space. In the silence, Mark can hear the blood rushing in his ears and his shaky breathing. With his eyes closed it almost begins to feel like he’s in his space EVA suit back on the Hermes. The sound of his breathing tapers off as he quiets enough to hold his breath and try to listen for either the sounds of the HAB or anything that would alert him to the presence of… something, anything behind him. He’s about to let out his held breath when he feels shockingly cold fingers lightly wrap around the back of his neck, causing a terrified wail to rip out of his lungs as he stands up out of his chair and sees… nothing behind him.

Mark continues to stand and stare silently at the false wall behind him, raising a hand to touch the warm skin of the back of his neck and feeling goosebumps bloom across it. He basks in the violently loud silence before the tension is broken by the sound of the HAB’s temperature control unit letting out a shrill, piercing tone alerting him to a new malfunction in its system.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thanks for reading!

works referenced:

4 Bed CO2 scrubber

The Martian Fan-Made Timeline

Wind on Mars

Sunsets on Mars -> Mie Scattering experiment!

Pathology of Asphyxial Death MAJOR CW: death, and suffocation both described in text and shown in images.

#the martian #mark watney #andy weir #the martian(2015)#mark watney x reader #technically #spookyseasoninthebarrens2024 #writing event #horror #angst

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milkytheholy1 · 4 days ago

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Shadow Generations: Part 2

Part 1. Sonic Masterlist.

Awaking in a blank world, Shadow fluttered his eyes open, taking in the vast nothingness. Rubbing his head, he stood on shaky legs, "What happened? Where am I?"

As though everything was happening all at once, the expansive emptiness Shadow resided in burst to life, well, somewhat. Large, white structures burst through the ground, erupting rocks and dirt into the air. Everything seemed to carry a sense of familiarity about it, something that Shadow couldn't quite put into words.

Looking over to the closet monument, the ebony hedgehog decided that was the best place to look for answers. Once he was close enough, Shadow could vaguely make out the rough edges and twisted metal pieces of the ARK. But it somehow felt empty, like there was no life to it, even if it was just a hunk of floating metal.

I was just on the ARK, how can it appear like this? As a matter of fact, this whole world is one big mystery. Am I the only one here? If so, how do I get out? Perhaps this is the anomaly G.U.N was looking for, I have to find a way back out. No matter what.

As Shadow rushed through each level, he soon realised what this world was: his memories.

The Space Colony: ARK, Speed Highway, his fight with Metal Sonic. Everything that was happening was something from his past. But who could have done all this? That was his only lingering question. Shadow remembered the radio that he had on him, perhaps the signal was still connected to Rouge.

'Hello, Rouge, incoming, Rouge can you hear me?" it was only static coming through, but he persisted, "Hello, Rouge do you hear-"

"AHHHH, HELP ME! SOMEONE HELP ME! PLEASE!" cried out a voice from the distance. Shadow stared at the direction from which it came, huffing, he put away his radio and dashed towards the commotion. There was no point in continuing to contact Rouge, it clearly wasn't working.

As the screaming got louder and louder Shadow picked up his pace, eventually spotting some creatures he recognised chasing someone. He quickly lept into action, kicking Doom's henchmen down within seconds.

Of course, Black Doom is behind this, I should have known. But I could have sworn I had defeated him, so how did he come back?

"Thank you for saving me-" The voice said, it was sweet and delicate, "-Shadow."

The brooding hedgehog looked up, his mind going blank and his mouth wide open. He couldn't believe this, he didn't believe this. It had to be another trick by Doom, she was gone, he saw it happen, there was no way she could be standing here in front of him right now.

"M-Maria?" he nearly whispered out, he was in complete disbelief. Maria's smile widened, she went to approach him until a hand grasped her shoulder, "Be careful, Maria, we don't know if this is truly him or another one of Doom's illusions."

"Professor?" Shadow was truly at a loss for words, if this wasn't real it would be a really sick joke to play on the poor hedgehog. All he ever dreamt of, ever thought about, was seeing them again; his family.

And now here they were in arms reach, yet he couldn't do it, he couldn't push himself to take those extra steps to be beside them again. Knowing they were just here now hurt him tremendously, but perhaps...

"Professor, do you have any theories on how we ended up in this world?" he soon pressed, he tried to appear calm for Maria's sake. Gerald rubbed his chin, deep in thought, his eyes scanned around the void, "I'd say it's a temporal anomaly. Someone or something has trapped us out of time, but that is just my working theory, of course."

Shadow thought about that for a moment, if Black Doom was behind this then maybe that could explain how he came back. Shadow took a glance at Maria and Gerald, "They must be from before the accident on the ARK," he said lowly to himself, "Perhaps I can change their fate if I defeat Black Doom. I will make him pay dearly for everything that I-"

A light presence graced Shadow's shoulder, a pasty white hand gently held him, but the warmth that radiated from it could rival the sun, "Shadow, you've become awfully angry since I last saw you; it's not like you."

"I promise you, Maria, I'm fine. I'll protect you both from what's to come, but you need to trust me."

"Of course, I trust you, Shadow." Maria offered him an ear-to-ear grin, and Gerlald only hummed in agreement, "It begs to assume that if we are here, perhaps other could be around too?"

Maria seemed excited by the idea, "Oh yes, I would love to meet new people, do you think there are more humans like us?"

Shadow could only laugh at that, prompting Maria to look confused, "The only other person I can think of being here is an annoying blue faker." he mumbled, Maria couldn't hear him that well. With a small sigh, Shadow had to drag himself away from the only people he could call family, "Stay safe and stay hidden, I will return to you when I can."

"Shadow, wait!" Maria cried out, he turned to her with wide eyes, "Be careful, please?" Shadow smirked and simply nodded his head, skating off into the distance to find and eliminate Doom.

#shadow the hedgehog #shadow the hedgehog x reader #fan #fandom #fanfiction #fanfic #reader #shadow #sonic x shadow generations #shadow and maria

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hell-drabbles · 1 month ago

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Lights flash and glare almost unbearably in your vision if you weren’t already used to the party life of Hell after spending a year down here,a numb ache that you don’t care to decipher sinks in your guts like a persistent hunger or black hole that eats away at your insides, especially with the fact this party was the one year anniversary of Ra-on’s arrival in Hell, only Ra-on’s not yours,yet the star of the show wasn’t even here, disappeared and dragged off by the Kings.

Something warm jostles your arm and your attention is captured back to the warm sleepy demon behind you, Belphie’s body heaves as he shifts, in the cat loafing position he is in to press closer to your back,his wool like hair tickles your skin as a low rumbling noise vibrates through Belphie’s ribcage,could demons purr?

The question is for another day you think as you watch the gentle movements of the apparently sleeping demon,the scent of overripe and sweet cherries drips off the demon like heady pheromones due to the cherry wine he drank earlier on Amary’s insistence and to Mephidine’s disdain,Belphie shuffles around a bit more before one eye cracks open,he yawns,his tongue flitting over his fangs before his teeth snap shut and he looks at you.

“Are you okay?”

Figures,he would immediately awake at the briefest touch of negativity from you,you don’t quite know how to answer as the gnawing feeling inside you continues,Belphie takes your silence as a answer and starts to peel himself away from you, as you being in a weird mood again and wanting your own space,your hand reaches out to grab Belphie by the horn, tugging him back down, stopping the big demon from moving,this elicits a interesting sound from Belphie,a sound thats both startled and similar to a chuff from a lion,just how many noises can this demon make?,Belphie looks worried of sorts at you.

“Did...did I do something wrong?”

The confused or disgruntled look he has elicits something other then the void in you, something warm that bubbles like liquor in your gut

“No,just..stay”

Belphie obliges, laying back down on the couch again, pressing right up against your back,his warmth seeping into you.

“Do you.....do you want anything?”

You don’t respond,your hand combs through Belphie’s hair,scratching his scalp like you would a cat, Belphie’s body relaxes and he falls into the silent familiar routine you guys agreed on,you feel the familiar warmness falls over you like a weighted blanket as the hazy feeling seeps into your mind,Belphie lays down,eyes shutting again as you lean back into the comfy mass of soft hair, sinking into it like velvet moss and close your eyes,before you completely drift off you can hear the energetic voice of Amary’s fawning over you and the concerned voice of Mephidine’s worry as two warm weights rest at your feet and more sounds of movement follow as more warmth curls around the couch

No idea what to write

I don't think I managed to put I imaged into words well enough

But I figured a fluffy piece was good enough

This was inspired by your Anniversary Companion idea

-Dante Anon

(Hahaha, this is so sweet. I wanted to reply sooner but boy does it take a few days to motivate myself into writing. Snuggling is such a nice activity, and damn do I sometimes crave it.)

Sleep is nice. Sleep reset everything that's going on inside your head, at least for a little while. It's a small window, but at least you can pretend that there's nothing in the world that can bother you. That all your worries and grudges don't exist.

All you could focus on was the light of dawn, and the multiple devils sleeping around you.

Caught in the wake of hopefully gentle dreams, the devils slept soundly. Some were sprawled out, fully taking in the first rays of dawn, while other curled up tighter into themselves, pulling at whatever fabric is closest to cover their eyes.

Ha. Reminds you of all those parties you, Minhyeok and Ra-on used to have back in college. Where a party would last way, way too long, and the festivities would peter out rather than having any clear cutoff. All of you were too eager back then, bathing in the euphoria that was finally becoming an adult. Well, you were all adults before then, at least for a little while, but getting into college was still a milestone into that process. It was a new, fun phase, and who doesn't want to celebrate such things?

Stray wine glasses, empty glass bottles, crushed cans and stray plates with bits of half-eaten snacks still sitting there. A mess, but the kind of mess that usually comes with campers that just want away from the hustle and bustle. A mess that doesn't spoil whatever good/neutral mood you found yourself in.

There was in itch in your fingers, an urge to climb out and do…well anything really.

You adjusted yourself a bit in Belphie's hair, and stretched out as much as you're able to without waking the snuggling devil up. Though, for all your subtly, you're not match for the senses of a devil such as him.

He woke up anyway, though it did take a minute for full awareness to return to him.

"Hey," you greeted with a sigh, sitting up because there's no point in trying to do it quietly anymore. "Didn't mean to wake you. Go back to sleep."

Perhaps because you're the only one awake, or perhaps he had too good a rest to actually fall back asleep, Belphie sat up as well, pushing his hair back into place. "No…I'm good."

The haze of sleep was still there, Belphie's yawn stretching his jaw so wide you heard a faint click.

You pulled out your phone. Barely past seven in the morning. Lot of the early morning devils are probably getting ready to start their day by now. Minhyeok would be out, getting his morning run in while you and Ra-on were still asleep. You always took the night shift at your job, so being awake this early was weird.

And not feeling groggy was even weirder. With all this time suddenly in your hands, what are you going to do with it?

"Hmm. Hey, Belphie?" You pulled the blanket off your legs, feeling around for your shoes.

"Hmm?" Belphie said through a yawn, smacking his mouth as though to get the foul morning taste out of it.

"You wanna dance for a bit?" You have music in your phone, and it had a pretty decent speaker. And you're bored. You want to do something a little fun now that you're no longer feeling weird and sour.

Belphie perked up when you held out your hand. Instead of replying, he smiled and laid his palm on yours.

You'll both get something to eat later. Right now, it's time to move your bodies.

#admin #writer: dante.anon #what in “hell” is bad #what in hell is bad #whb #drabble #reader insert #embittered companion au #oc.belphie(dante.anon)#dante.anon

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nausicaamusiclover20 · 13 days ago

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I saw you do requests for Jason? So I had an idea? You know how he left Metallica in 2000, cause he wanted to keep up with music and they were getting married, kids etc and he’s know to state that he doesn’t want children? So maybe his fiancé finds out that she’s pregnant but knowing he’s not into that she comes up with some stupid excuse to break up? So he’s mad at her, but when he finds out she broke it off cause of pregnancy? And although the child wasn’t on the plan, he is happy snd he will do his best to be a good father so they reconcile and they still get married later?

Omg, I loved this request so much. I hope you like it!❤

The reason I stay

Y/n stood at the kitchen counter, her heart racing as she stared at the small red lines on the pregnancy test. The realization hit her like a thunderclap, echoing in her mind. She was pregnant.

It was a truth she never expected to face, especially now. She had been so caught up in her relationship with Jason, a man whose passion for music was matched only by his fierce independence. He had always been clear about his feelings toward children—he didn’t want them. The thought of revealing her pregnancy was daunting, but the pain of their recent breakup gnawed at her just as much.

After days of agonizing over what to do, Y/n made the hardest decision of her life. She told Jason she needed space, hoping it would protect him from the life-changing news that she had to bear alone. It felt like stepping off a cliff, the void beneath her unfathomable and terrifying.

“Jason, I just think… maybe it’s better if we take a break,” I said, my voice trembling as I tried to steady myself. I couldn't meet his gaze, fearing the disappointment I might see reflected back at her.

“What? You can’t be serious!” He looked at me, disbelief etched across his face. “What do you mean ‘take a break’? We’ve been through so much together. Why would you want to leave now?”

“Because I love you!” I exclaimed, her voice cracking. “I love you too much to drag you into this. You have your career, your music. I can’t let this… ruin everything for you.”

Jason’s expression shifted, anger flaring in his eyes. “You think leaving me is going to fix anything? You think I can just move on like this? I thought we were a team!”

“It’s not about that!” I shouted back, feeling the weight of her decision crash over me. “It’s about giving you a chance to live your life the way you want, without me getting in the way. I can’t be the reason you miss out on everything you’ve worked for!”

“Y/n, stop. You’re not a burden to me. You’re the woman I love,” he said, his voice dropping to a pained whisper. “Why can’t you see that?”

“Because I do see it!” I cried, tears spilling down her cheeks. “But I can’t be selfish. I have to think about what’s best for you. Maybe… maybe it’s time we both moved on.”

“Moved on?” Jason’s voice trembled with emotion. “Is that really what you want? To just throw everything we’ve built away?”

“I don’t want to lose you, Jason. But I don’t want to be the one who ruins your life,” I said, her heart breaking at the thought of what she was saying.

“Y/n, don’t do this. Please,” he pleaded, desperation creeping into his voice. “We can figure this out together. I can’t just let you walk away.”

But Y/n took a deep breath, steeling herself. “I have to. For both of us.”

-----

The knock cut through the silence of her tiny apartment, sharp and persistent. She sat frozen on the couch, her heart drumming wildly. She hadn’t expected anyone—hadn’t wanted to, really. Moving here was supposed to be a fresh start, but she knew deep down that you can’t move away from your own heartache.

When the knock came again, more insistent, she forced herself up, wrapping her sweater tightly around herself. Her hand shook as she opened the door, already knowing who it would be.

Jason stood there in the dim light of the hallway, his face a mix of disbelief, frustration, and something else she couldn’t quite read. His hand was clenched around a small plastic stick—her heart dropped. The pregnancy test.

“You’re pregnant.” His voice was low, rough, as if he’d been running on nothing but adrenaline to get here. His gaze held hers, intense, raw, filled with questions she’d been too afraid to answer even for herself. “And you weren’t going to tell me?”

Her stomach churned. She’d pictured this moment a hundred times, and every time, she’d told herself she was doing the right thing. But now, with him standing right in front of her, the reality of her choice settled like a weight on her chest. “Jason, I… I didn’t think you’d want to know. I thought it would just—”

“Make things worse?” he interrupted, incredulity flashing in his eyes. “Did you seriously think keeping this a secret would be easier for me? You left me, without a single word. I spent weeks trying to figure out what I did wrong, why you suddenly didn’t want us anymore. And now, this?” He held up the test between them, his voice laced with hurt.

The weight of his words crashed over her. She took a step back, feeling the wall behind her as she struggled to keep her emotions in check. “Jason… I thought I was doing what was best for you,” she whispered, her voice wavering. “You’ve always made it clear you didn’t want kids. I didn’t want to hold you back from everything you’ve worked so hard for. I thought… I thought you’d hate me if you found out.”

His face softened slightly, but frustration still colored his features. “You don’t get to make that decision for me,” he said, his voice raw. “Maybe I never planned for this—hell, I’ve spent years convincing myself I didn’t want it. But you’re a part of my life now, more than anything else has ever been. How could you think I wouldn’t want to be here, for you?”

Her lip trembled, and she looked away, trying to blink back the tears. “Jason, you’re finally getting to do everything you dreamed of. I didn’t want to be the one who… who ruined it all.”

He let out a shaky breath, running a hand through his hair, eyes glistening as he looked at her. “Ruin it? You think a family with you would ruin my life?” His voice dropped, gentler now. “Maybe I don’t know the first thing about being a dad, but I know that losing you, not being there for you… that would ruin everything.”

A tear slipped down her cheek, and she bit her lip, shaking her head. “I was just trying to protect you. I thought you’d feel trapped, and that’s the last thing I wanted.”

His hand reached out, brushing her cheek gently, wiping away the tear with his thumb. The touch sent a shiver through her, and she closed her eyes, leaning into his palm despite herself. “Maybe I don’t know what I’m doing, but I know I love you. And I can’t lose you—not like this. Not over something we could have faced together.”

Her chest ached with relief, the tension of weeks melting under the warmth of his touch. She could barely see him now through her tears, and she felt herself crumbling, her defenses breaking down completely.

“Are you sure?” she whispered, her voice barely audible. “I mean, really sure? Because this… this isn’t just about us anymore. It’s about a future we can’t take back.”

His hand slipped into her hair, his fingers threading gently through it as he pulled her closer, his gaze softening as he looked down at her. “I’m terrified. But the thought of you going through this alone? That’s worse. I want to be here, every step. Even if I have no clue what I’m doing, I’m not going anywhere. You’re stuck with me.”

A sob escaped her lips, and she collapsed into his arms, clinging to him as her tears finally broke free. He wrapped her up, holding her tightly, one arm around her waist while his other hand continued to stroke her hair, comforting her in that steady, grounding way only he could.

His chin rested atop her head, and she felt the gentle rhythm of his breathing, steady and sure. His fingers moved slowly through her hair, easing her back to calm with each gentle stroke. “We’ll figure this out,” he murmured, his voice low, soothing. “You don’t have to be afraid anymore. I’m right here, okay?”

She nodded into his chest, taking in the comforting scent of him, feeling the warmth radiate from his embrace. And in that moment, with his arms around her and his fingers tracing gentle circles in her hair, she felt, for the first time, the weight of her fears begin to lift.

When she pulled back slightly, he looked down at her, wiping the last of her tears from her cheeks. “We’re in this together,” he said softly, a hint of a smile breaking through. “You and me… and the little one. No matter what.”

A tear slipped down her cheek again, but this time, it was different. She managed a small, tentative smile, reaching up to brush her fingers along his jaw. “I don’t deserve you, you know.”

He shook his head, resting his forehead gently against hers. “We deserve each other,” he whispered, his hand finding hers and lacing their fingers together.

And as he held her close, the ache in her chest softened, replaced by something new and fragile but beautiful—a sense of hope, and the promise of a future they’d face together, no matter how uncertain it might be.

---

Months later, under the soft glow of the evening sun, she stood beside him, feeling the warm brush of a late spring breeze across her shoulders. Their small circle of family and friends looked on as they exchanged vows, tears shining in her eyes as she gazed into his eyes, unable to keep the smile from her face.

Jason reached out to take her hands, his thumb brushing over her knuckles, and gave her that same determined look she’d seen the day he’d shown up at her door. He took a steadying breath before saying, “I promise to be here for you and… for us. Whatever comes our way, I want this with you.”

Her heart swelled, and the love she felt radiated through every fiber of her being. As they leaned in to seal their vows with a kiss, he gently cupped her face, brushing his thumb across her cheek before their lips met in a tender, lingering kiss. She felt herself melt into his touch, the world around them fading into warmth and peace.

They pulled back, and he wrapped her in his arms, leaning down to whisper, “Forever, okay?”

A few tears slipped down her cheeks, and she nodded, her fingers tracing the collar of his shirt. “Forever.”

In the crowd, someone cheered, and the laughter bubbled up between them. With one last gentle kiss to her forehead, he wrapped his arms around her, holding her close as their family and friends showered them with petals. For the first time, they weren’t just two people in love but a family. And as she leaned into his embrace, she knew that together, they’d be ready for whatever came next.

#metallica #metallica oneshot #metallica fanfiction #metallica fluff #metallica angst #jason newsted fluff #jason newsted x reader #jason newsted #jason newsted angst #angst with a happy ending

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