#(you can NOT turn that hoe into a housewife)

[samaraxmorgan]

My best friends comin in town for my birthday tomorrow im so excited :)

[eeterlik-naine]

Wow I'm so glad I blocked him. I am not dealing with a man in his late 30s again. They are 100 times worse than men in their late 20s.

[bellamer]

Princess Tiana is the best princess solely because she turned a hoe into a housewife. Like I bet you once Naveen learns to do more than mince he’s gonna be the one welcoming her home from a hard day at the restaurant with some not so perfect but still tasty dish like “Welcome home my beloved ! I know you had a hard day, let me fix your plate and run you a bath”

Like he still helps her run the restaurant on some days when it’s really busy and plays live music on the weekends but I like to think that Naveen stays home and is the home maker. Like he goes grocery shopping, cleans the house, gossips with the neighborhood ladies, makes dinner, and he actually enjoys it. Like he likes keeping his hands busy. And Tiana tries to help him because he does so much now but he’s like “You’re in charge of the kitchen at the palace, I’m in charge of the kitchen at home, you’ve had a long day, please sit” because he’ll be damned if his wife lifts a finger after a hard day of work, especially when she’s been working her whole life

And his parents are in awe when they visit him because Naveen refused to even lift a finger and now he’s busying himself like

“I have to figure out dinner before Tiana comes home, I have to get arugula and- oh and blueberries for dessert ! She liked that blueberry tart we had on our anniversary maybe I can recreate it-“

And he’s wearing an apron and they’re just so impressed by how much he’s changed and how far he’s come.

[barbiesmuse]

WELCOME TO NEW YORK ₊✧⋆

;ֶָ 𓂃⊹ ִֶָjohn price + reader

summary: in which john finds a new column in the paper quite interesting, although he isn't the target audience he keeps coming back for more.

tags: perv!john, reader is somewhat slutty (but aren't we all?), talk of sex, reader and john masturbate, perv!john has a voice kink, john is also a hoe, reader is astute, john is painted in a more submissive way in reader's mind, when the true smut comes it won't be this way obv!! this is long as hell and i hate the way i wrote the end but i needed to get this out, reader being sexy as usual!!

HEAD BARBIE'S ANNOUNCEMENTS: hi gorgeous gorgeous people!! this is so silly and unexpected of me but with sex and the city being added to netflix we're going to celebrate!! i'm actually moving to NYC because this barbie has a boyfriend!! alright, now you may read. it's very long so beware!! also yes i did steal the name of carrie's blog i am not that creative i fear!! love you always, xoxo natty.

ps. y'alls little reblogs for better version headcanons & the fic were absolutely adorable i read them over and over!! your ideas and continuations were so so smart. i loved it soso much. if u ever have any thoughts send an ask!! thank you thank you thank you!! ₊✧⋆

Wednesday, October 20th.

John Price was a man who liked routine. If anything was even remotely out of order all hell would break loose. John saw it as a silly quirk, his past partners saw it as a deal breaker. Which is how he ended up here, watching his seventh girlfriend this year pack her things. He watched as she packed her belongings in a cluttered manner. He couldn't help but cringe at the sight. Her clothes overflowing as she stuffs them in the cardboard box. As she heads for the door, she and John make eye contact. John can't help but chuckle at her glare and wave her off, he told himself again and again that he was getting too damn old for this. As the girl walks out of his condo John can't help but sigh. It wasn't like he was attached to these women, they were just simple sleeves for his cock until he found a pretty little housewife. John runs a hand over his face, his beard hairs scratching against his palm. He lets out a low grunt before heading to bed, as he trudges up the stairs he spots the woman's red lace panties. He let out a quiet chuckle before picking them up and stuffing them inside his pocket. She'd left them on purpose. After all, John was a hard man to get over. He would worship you like you were a goddess, all to sneak out the next morning. Thursday, October 21st.

As John made his way into headquarters he picked up the newspaper, exchanged pleasantries with the secretaries, and even gave the nurse a nod. He was in a good mood, and when John was in a good mood all was right in the world. The sound of his heavy boots filled the halls as he made his way to the break room for his morning coffee. He threw the newspaper on the table before grabbing a mug, as Soap walks in he can't help but roll his eyes. He did not have the time for his childish banter. Not after he spent the whole night fisting himself with those red lace panties.

“Mornin' Cap, have a good weekend?” Soap says as he comes beside his Captain. He smelled of liquor and sex, his hair was disheveled, and his pants were unzipped. John let out a scoff before pouring the rest of the coffee into his mug. “No, but I can see you've had a good morning,” John says before licking the coffee that drips from the black pot. Soap lets out an embarrassed chuckle and takes a seat next to Price as he sits at a table.

Soap opens the newspaper and is met with the same column every time, written by a young female journalist. Soap would know because his wife practically lived off of it. He lets out an annoyed groan before turning to see any big news. There was none, the only interesting thing on the paper that morning was that damn fashion and gossip column. John quirked an eyebrow up at his exasperated expression, he didn't want to know, but the awkward silence in the room was slowly eating away at him.

“Sorry Cap, s' just this damn fashion column is what takes up the paper these days. S' all my wife talks about with her friends, I mean I get it. The journalist is a fuckin' babe. S' just annoyin', continue y'r coffee.” Soap rambles, although John doesn't really listen after the mention of Soap's wife. That woman had been eyeing him since Soap had joined the Task Force. John nods before speaking firmly, “We've got a briefing in less than twenty minutes, I suggest you fix yourself up now unless you have a kink for embarrassment.” Soap nods before scurrying out of the break room.

John grabs the newspaper and his eyes widen at the black and white picture of you. He could only imagine what you looked like in person, how fucking beautiful you were. You looked as if you belonged in the Louvre. His eyes trail down to your column, he can't help but chuckle at the name.

❝𝐒𝐞𝐱 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐂𝐢𝐭𝐲!❞ The guide to Vogue, sex, and cigarettes.

John was more than intrigued he was captivated by you, even from words you had caught him by the balls. As he continued reading he couldn't help but start to wonder who you were. How did you get to be this mysterious woman who he craved to know more about? John grabbed the paper and left the break room, his coffee now cold and lonely. Hell, who needed it when you had given him just enough energy by showing the tiniest bit of cleavage! John walks into the briefing room as if he's in a hurry. He looks around at the men before mumbling, “Meetings canceled.” In ten minutes you had thrown John completely off of his game. Where was the order and routine he usually lived for? Had he thrown it all out the window for a pretty little minx such as yourself? Of course, because when John saw something he liked; he needed to have it. No matter what it took. John barges into his office and locks his door, he couldn't be seen reading some girly column in the paper. His eyes trailed down to your column, and he began reading his eyes squinting at the use of your tiny font.

❝𝐒𝐞𝐱 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐂𝐢𝐭𝐲!❞ The guide to Vogue, sex, and cigarettes.

Why do all men have to be so complicated? I swear we women deserve a raise for the constant bullshit we put up with. It's almost impossible to find a man who isn't trying to keep his penis hard! Although I degrade men usually, one of my closest friends just got engaged! He's one of the few who deserve a pat on the back. The engagement was out of a movie almost! Although it's nowhere near close to happening for me, I can live vicariously through my friends. As I sit here and right to you I can't help but wonder if there actually is a man out there for me? I'm not as scary as I sound, I just have a passion for women's rights! What's so scary about that? It's not as if I'm some lock-ness monster trying to lure people in, just a woman who knows her worth. On a happier note, I've found a new bar called the “Cafe Society.” They open at five o'clock every day! They have some of the best espresso martinis I've ever had, and I consider myself a connoisseur of espresso martinis! I go every Thursday, come see me! Although this month's column is short I'll be back and better than ever before you know it. Might just need a man to pick me up and show me a good time, until then you might not know where to find me most of the time; but you can always find me on the 21st. Lots of love.

On the twenty-first, your column was in the newspaper every month. Finally, something else to look forward to besides fucking brainless women. He usually didn't like women who put up a fight, but you, God, there was something about you. You were such a breath of fresh air, you had opinions. He could tell you were able to hold a conversation. You were a woman. Not a girl, a fucking woman. John looked at the date, Thursday. What a perfect little setup, almost as if you planned it just for him. At least, that's what John would like to think. The time was currently 12:35 pm, he could last until five, only for a pretty girl like you.

Thursday, October 21st. 5:00.

As John walks into Cafe Society the first thing he sees is you, setting your purse on the bar counter and making conversation with the bartenders. He figured they knew you well considering you were a regular. He walked over to the bar, exhaling slowly. He takes a seat on the stool next to you. His cologne gently clouded your nose. You look over at him, your gorgeous eyes meet his cold brown eyes and he swears he's in heaven. “Captain John Price, a pleasure to meet you,” he trails off, waiting to be told your name. After hearing your name he swears he's been struck by Cupid himself. He can hear the winged baby chanting your name in his ear. Had you cast a spell on him? As a soft smile paints your sweet face he knows he's struck gold. You turn away, not sparing him another glance for the rest of the night. John's palms are sweaty, had he not charmed you enough? You were an enigma to him, and he was determined to figure you out.

As you get up from your seat, slinging your mini purse around your shoulder John smirks. You were such a pretty sight, the way your curves filled your skirt made him spiral. You shoot him a tight-lipped smile before walking out, your heels clicking echoing in his mind. He quickly gets up, placing a hundred-dollar bill in the bar to pay for his drink before rushing to find you. There you were, looking around for a taxi, he assumed.

“Ending the night so early?” John says, a chuckle escaping his lips as he accidentally startles you. He places his large hand on your shoulder. You let out a soft giggle, looking up at him with those same fiery eyes. “Well, unfortunately, the man at the bar didn't speak to me. I assumed he was married.” You say, a grin resting on your face. You were witty, John didn't usually like that in a woman. He liked more submissive women. But you, you were different. You held your own, you would be just fine without a husband. At least that's what you kept telling yourself after the failed relationships.

“Quite far from married, darlin',” He begins, his hand trailing down to your lower back. You shiver at his touch and he hesitates. You give him a reassuring glance and begin to walk, you wait for him to follow before letting out a playful sigh. “You coming or what?” You say and smile as he quickly catches up. The two of you walk side by side, a comforting silence cast over the two of you. “So besides being a captain, what do you do in your free time?” You ask, a bashful smile painting your face as your pinkies touch briefly.

“Not much, work usually takes up a lot of my time. What about you? What do you do for a living?” He asks, you look up at him and as you pass a newspaper stand you pick up a paper and point to your face. “Journalist, Mr. Captain.” You say with a cheeky smile, almost as if you knew he knew. It hurt your ego he didn't know who you were, almost everyone did. “Ah, interesting,” He says calmly, his eyes trailing down to your breasts, fuck. They were even better in person. He couldn't help but mentally facepalm as he felt a hard-on begin to grow.

“Quite,” you say, pronouncing your “T.” sharply. The silence is now not-so-comforting. Before you can say anything John quickly speaks, a hint of panic in his voice. What had changed in the last twenty-one seconds? The size of his hard-on, that's what. “As much as I'd love to stay n' chat doll, I've got to get home. Th-the missus needs me.” He says before quickly walking to his car. The missus? Didn't he say he wasn't married?

Men, what a bunch of fucking assholes.

Thursday, October 21st. 11:00.

As you lie in bed, your computer resting to your side, glasses perched on your face. Legs spread, lip drawn between your teeth you search for everything there is to know about Captain John Price. How old is he, what he truly does for a living, and if he is married or not. Various pictures of random men come up, none of them the sexy captain you'd met only a few hours earlier. You sigh and let out a sexually frustrated moan, how could there be absolutely no pictures of him. Just as you're about to give up you spot a picture of him with a woman, they're kissing and they seem to be in a tropical setting.

Intrigue takes over and you decide to click on her page, double-checking your incognito window before scrolling. You'd hit the jackpot. Several pictures of the woman and John flood your screen, some are more sensual others are simple selfies. Yet as you scroll you check for one thing, a ring and or wedding pictures. A small smile on your face as you find none. Gosh, he looks so damn sexy. It's shameful, truly. But you can't help but dip your hand down into your panties. Your pointer and middle finger rub gentle circles on your bud.

You can't help but slip a finger inside yourself at the thought of him touching you. He was just so perfect, you could only imagine how his rough beard would feel against your pussy as he laps at it. The burning feeling would feel good, you'd come right on his tongue. He'd be so needy for you, humping against the bed to get himself off while he pleasures you. He'd whimper against your clit, a chuckle escaping his lips as you whine from him blowing cold air on your pretty pussy.

Oh, you just know he'd touch you so well.

As John sits in his bed, his gray sheets crinkled as he fucks his fist at the sight of you. He'd searched the internet for you, needing to know everything about you. You made him crazy, you carried yourself in such a polite manner, he almost felt ashamed for wishing it was your hand wrapped around his veiny cock. You'd take him so well, he was sure of it. A sinister smirk painted his face as he clicked on an interview of you, it was recent and fuck you looked perfect. He couldn't help but imagine your plump lips wrapped around his cock, his tip repeatedly hitting the back of your throat as he face-fucked you.

Not to mention how well you'd take him, you were such a good girl. Your moans would be so pretty against his pillow, he'd fuck you from behind so well you'd be shaking when he was done with you. Your sweet sounds only making him come quicker, he was sure he wouldn't be able to last long. And your voice, your sweet voice. You might've been a little firecracker but your voice was the sweetest thing he'd ever heard. If only you'd moan his name, just for him. One day, you would and he was damn sure of it.

As you come down from your high you can't help but imagine the title for next month's column, “My shameful addiction to Mr. Captain.”

[porschesbabydaddy]

KinnPorsche and VegasPete are both proof that you can turn a hoe into a housewife

[autistpride]

Remus and Regulus learn to cross stitch together.

They learn as part of therapy or just a way to keep hands busy.

Then it becomes a competition on who can make the prettiest one with the most terrible obscure threat/quote.

Examples of their fine work:

once i defeat the chemical imbalance in my brain, it's over for you hoes.

don't be part of the problem, be the whole problem.

With enough caffeine and anger all things are possible.

death before decaf

I love the sound you make when you shut the fuck up

I was born to be wild but only until 9 pm or so

Turns out you CAN turn a hoe into a housewife

It's not hording if your shites cool

The best way to your lovers heart is through the intercoastal space between the 4th and the 5th ribs

You are exceeding the limitations of my medication

until your unsolvable murder do us part

the dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed

They gift them to people and hang them random places like their kitchen, the loo, in their cafe.

[shortpplfedup]

Only Friends Character Rankings Pre-Air

Jojo, Ninew, Ninepinta and Vivienne have now presented their stable of hoes to us, y'all have chosen your fighters, and I am gnawing on concrete in anticipation of August 12. Since I'm gonna be doing weekly character rankings, I wanted to set up a pre-air Clown Checkpoint so I can look back later and see how wrong I was. Until that YouTube premiere countdown hits zero, we know exactly nothing, but I'm ready to predict whose gay wrongs I will most support! Here we go!

1. Nick

I just want you to love only me!

Audience ranking: 6

Ever since Mark Pakin showed up in that pilot trailer scheming and sex-taping, Nick has been MY DUDE. I want him to be the most manclown character of all time. I want him to be DESPERATE AND PATHETIC for Boston's dick. ANSWER EVERY BOOTY CALL NICK, I BELIEVE IN YOU. HE WANTS YOU TO DO A THREESOME? NO PROBLEM, WHATEVER YOU WANT BABE. I want Nick to call his bestie (Sand?) crying because Boston came over at 3:02 a.m. and left at 4:37 a.m. and 15 minutes of that was him taking a post-coital shower. I want crying and begging and clinging and devious acts. Khun Pakin has the chops to make my dreams come alive, make it happen boo!

2. Mew

My type is pretty simple. I'm not a picky kind of guy.

Audience ranking: 4

Right up until time of posting I thought my #2 seed would be Boston, but something is telling me that when it comes to manipulation and making grown men cry, Mew will emerge the champion. Something in this butter-wouldn't-melt expression is telling me this man is the true demon from hell whereas Boston is merely a top-tier-yet-still-garden-variety slut. Him shit-kicking Boston into the pool and then jumping in himself to finish the job is the kinda deranged shit I respect immensely. Kill them all Mew. You deserve.

3. Boston

You should be glad to be my favourite.

Audience ranking: 5

I may have called this man a garden variety slut, but I love a good slut though! Especially one who will lend his toys to help out a friend. And then almost instantly regret it. And then cause chaos and problems for himself as a result. And then make it everybody else's chaos and problems. Basically, I expect Boston's job to be throwing hole around Bangkok and ruining lives, and I expect him to do it WELL, and I expect him to do it in the sluttiest rent boy outfits I've ever seen.

4. Ray

You think my life will be better with you? It's only fucking going down to hell.

Audience ranking: 3

Speaking of chaos and problems, OUR BI DISASTER IS HERE GUYS! Bisexual? Bipolar? Why not both? The trailer is letting us know from jump that Ray is A Mess With Money and happy to use that money to buy himself some company, but also not able to keep those lines from getting blurred. I’m expecting this character to make me fall in love with him but also want to strangle him, Teh Krittikorn Saetun-style, so expect this ranking to go up until he is somehow my fave.

5. Sand

Friends don't charge friends. Besides, you should save your money for a shrink.

Audience ranking: 2

First Kanaphan’s job at GMMTV is to rip our hearts out roughly twice a year, and he’s right on schedule. It seems like Sand never learned not to fall for poor little rich boys, so we will all have to suffer with him. Honestly his ranking is this low right now because I see these guitars and microphones and I want no part of them. There is a short list of GMMTV boys allowed to sing at me and as much as I love First he is not on it. Ditch the microphone and bring back the baseball bat bb, I’m ready to see you bust some heads, kneecaps, car windows, whatever in pursuit of your love.

6. Top

When I take aim, I never miss.

Audience ranking: 7

Ah yes, the hoe-turned-seeming-housewife who’s actually still hoeing. The village bike. The community top. Boston basically turns him out and he’s not only fine with it, he falls for the john. Delicious. I desire his ruin like I’ve desired nothing before in media.

7. Everybody we don’t know nothing about yet (Yo, Nam/Syrup, Nes, Lesbian!Nonnie, A Wild Papang, various and assorted surprise guests I’m pretty sure we’re getting)

Friends don't do this to each other.

Audience ranking: 1 (combined score)

We await the tea on all the side characters, but the casting is superb, and I’m ready to see how high in the rankings they can climb.

LET THE MESS COMMENCE!

[bisexualr2d2]

you can't turn a hoe into a housewife but you can turn House into a hoe-wife.

[pumpumdemsugah]

I keep seeing videos about why conservative men go after liberal women and idk why we're acting like women behave even slightly principled when it comes with having a man

How many of us have been abandoned by close friends because she has a boyfriend? How many women have we watched act like having a bf is an accomplishment? Some women are demanding more but not much ( and it's too much for some men ). The fact is you can " turn a hoe into a housewife", we see it all the time. How many divorced women talk about how free their lives were before marriage but fell right in line with what her husband expected of her until humiliating herself became too much

We don't actually respect ourselves when it comes to the amount of humiliation is fine if it's from a man and as much abusers seek out their targets, the way a lot of women are encouraged to behave when they get a boyfriend, they've already done half the work for an abuser.

There's a steady stem of women that know better offering themselves up on a silver platter because they get to have a man, quality be damned. Didn't we just have young women blaming feminist for their shit 9 to 5s and not capitalism and they're dreaming of being a housewife? Women sometimes end up with shit men because he's a man and that's all she wanted and has been encouraged to prioritise. Even if she won't admit to that level of desperation and pressure, it's obvious that's what happened.

[bubble4u]

Please let me testify

@danni-k @festive @pupicunt

@aasouthteranoswife this was for the collab thingy from awhile back

Triggers: mentions of cheating, betrayal, drugs, mentions of guns, mentions of police, sex work shaming, organized crime

You sat in the poorly lit room, slight disheveled, dried tears, you've bitten your nails completely to the nub. The one door in the room could be heard being opened you made eye contact with a male who in hand had a thick file. He made his way to other side of the table "nice to meet mrs...." "haitani" he chuckled "yes, Mrs haitani sorry I knew that I'm detective Tachibana" he pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket gesturing towards you "care for a smoke?" You shook your head " I don't smoke thank you" the male snickered and shrugged"yeah i tried to quit but you know now Mrs haitani does your husband own a gun?" "No" you quickly replied fidgeting your fingers only giving the detective slight glances.

Naoto pulled out a ziploc bag with writing on it showing you the gun inside "you sure?" You looked down again your breathing becoming more heavier. Naoto placed two pictures each displaying a person "these are the two men your husband killed" you stared at the photos "my husband didn't kill anybody"

Naoto stood up facing away from you a split second sighing "see maybe I'm not too bright cause" he glanced back at you "we would've never caught your husband without an anonymous tip". You stayed silent thinking about the days you and ran would smile and laugh watching your two children play in the back yard, your voice started to break a bit " my husband is good man ok he's a good father, he's a good man and I don't know about any of this" Naoto shrugged "good man, good husband, good father, lot of coke lot of dead people and you".

Ran stared at the concrete ceiling he didn't think he'd return to a place like this again, it's been years since he's been back in a cell like this. Granted, he thought he'd be out already this is longest he's ever stayed since he's joined bonten. He wishes things didn't go south, he wished he treated you better, maybe this all his karma coming back on him. He thought back to all the nights you stayed up treating his wounds, how sanzu and his brother would laugh wondering how the great ran haitani would turn a hoe into a housewife, he should've been home more, instead nowadays he goes to deals and clubs he scoffed at his actions now especially since now this is where it got him.

Everyone knew how he was, ran only liked two things, and if it wasn't about money then a pretty woman better be near. You never knew, all you knew was his day in a VERY shortened summary. He wasn't about to have you leave he loved you too much, especially since you gave him two beautiful children.

Your heart was thumping more and more as you stepped towards the court house door, then within a second flashes and voices were heard all surrounding you pointing tape recorders towards your face "Mrs. Haitani a comment!!!" ... "Mrs. Haitani is your husband a killer?" you snapped " NO HE IS NOT" you pushed your way out of the crowd to enter. As you made your way passed security you felt your throat become tight, your stomach felt heavy and your chest was all of sudden felt like it was being pressed on, you entered the court room it seems like things were about to start. You noticed a seat that was behind ran and his lawyer you passed through a few people to get that seat and it seemed like ran could sense you cause he turned his head slightly and made eye contact with you. Your wry smile gave you away ran can see how this was effecting both you and him.

Half way through the trial you two couldnt connect eyes some light touches here and there but that was it.

The trial lasted for 3 days and each day became more and more painful, bonten lawyer tried everything from witness to witness you could tell this was looking bad. It was nearing the end and you saw ran slightly tense up as another witness made take the stand only this time it was a very well-dressed young woman, her hair was well kept, her nails freshly done and her outfit alone cost as much as your car and mortgage payment alone. "Please state your name" "Hana Haitani" ran peaked at you in his peripheral "Miss Haitani" the lady held up her hand "It'll be Missus soon so please address me as such" The other lawyer looked at ran shaking their head "Mrs. Haitani when did you and the plaintiff meet?" "2 years ago at a club I usually go to he was so handsome with his dark suit and slick back hair oh you should've seen it he saved my life that day too" the lawyer motioned her to go on. "It was a Saturday night, I had just arrived with one of my girlfriends who told me she knew a guy who could get us in VIP something about him working for some group I don't know. Anyways as the guy talking to the bouncer in VIP, he claims he doesn't know him and that everyone in the group was already there, well one thing lead to another and here comes my knight in shining armor he told the bouncer to kick the guy out and then Invited us upstairs and after that, we saw each almost regularly". Ran was tense this wasn't going well not only that but he finally saw your reaction to everything, your head was down, and he could see the wet spots of some tears falling and landing on your lap, you were betrayed and embarrassed who wouldn't be? After 10 years of marriage, you just got the news your husband is cheating and not only that but may have promised the girl a future as his wife.

It was Bonten lawyer whose cross-examining her now, "miss Haitani" she scoffed "missus" Bonten lawyer made eye contact with ran and then you "Well legally ma'am you're not his wife" the woman giggled "Yet" Within that moment you stood up everyone stopped to look at you, you bowed and grabbed your things to leave. Ran reached out for your hand to stop you "Please.." "Order! Please remind your client to sit down he cannot be reaching out to people" Bonten's lawyer stepped to where you and ran were as if no one could hear "Ran sit down! Mrs Haitani i get your upset but please stay it'll show the jurors some sympathy maybe even work in our favor too" you glared at the man before you, finding everything in your power to not slap him in front of everyone. You sat back down arms crossed, and the lawyer sighed adjusting his suit jacket "I apologize your honor it won't happen again".

You felt sick to your stomach hearing every intimate detail your husband and this woman shared, outings, vacations, clothing everything this woman wanted she had. When everything was nearing the end for her storytelling she was devoted and she would never betray Ran that she didn't know anything about this anonymous tip, and that soulmates would never betray each other. You stayed calm waiting to see how he'd try not to show emotion for the woman's words but you knew your husband enough, he always had a look on his face when he would hear your words of devotion and gratitude it's the same one he's showing now. You waited for the judge to call for the end of the day and to return for ran sentencing tomorrow, you Immediately raised from your seat purse in hand ready to go "My love wait" You stopped in your tracks refusing you look at ran "I love you and whatever happens you'll stick by me.... right" your mind was running at a million miles but as if on autopilot you gave that loving smile he's seen plenty of times "of course ran together forever" you exited the courtroom, taking a minute to process yourself knowing what had come to light now the reporters outside will ask and want answers.

You sat in the same seat again, waiting for everyone to make their way inside before the trail could begin. You pulled out your compact hoping with what little makeup you wore would help make you look less restless. When the judge finally sat and the trial began Naoto was called to the stand as he swore in you were on edge, biting your bottom lip trying your best to not look nervous. "Well basically got an anonymous tip that Mr haitani might have been involved in these two deaths, and from that tip we found the gun in his home, we found 4 kilos of cocaine in his house that gave us a motive and intent for us it was a wrap that's about a strong of a case as we can get" you bubbled inside raising from your seat "STOP! That's not true!!" The judge banged his gavel "Mrs haitani sit down" "how can you sit there a take a father away from his children you're evil!" "Order I won't tell you again sit down Mrs haitani" one of the lawyers on rans side pulled you down consoling you as you held back tears "Another outburst and I will hold her in contempt" " yes we apologize your honor it won't happen again" ran lawyer looked back at you as to also tell you to not repeat what you just did.

As the court waited for the jury to return everyone was silent as the judge looked around he looked towards the jury "Has the jury reached a verdict" One man stood, you inhaled worried looked on your face "We have your honor" "and for the charge for gun possession" "guilty" "and the charge of first-degree murder" the juror looked to ran "guilty" the courtroom began to uproar people arguing some clapping, ran placed his face in hands, and you sat there shaking tears running down your face, your make up now smeared and running you looked down trying to process everything ran had gotten 75 years in prison with the possibility of parole. You brought your face up smirking taking off your wedding ring and placing it on pew in front of you, the other lawyers were confused about what was going on. You felt your phone buzz pulling it out you say with a text on the screen saying their out front, as you raised from your seat you grabbed your purse and headed out towards the exit you turned back and made eye contact with ran you smirked pulling out a cigarette confused but he then looked Naoto, you lit the cigarette heading out of the courtroom.

"I don't smoke thank you" "My husband didn't kill anyone" "Well Mrs haitani we would've never caught your husband without an anonymous tip" Naoto still stunned remembering everything how you looked so innocent how you spun your web and waited for the moment to reveal how you knew how this would all play out "all I know is that my husband is a good man" "good man, good husband, good father a lot of coke, a lot of dead people and you" Naoto ran out bumping into people hoping he could get to you in the courtroom ran was confused on what was going on until he noticed a familiar ring sitting on the pew behind him... where you sat

You made your way down the courthouse steps as a burly man in a suit opened your door as you slipped into the back seat of a blacked-out car driving off. You leaned your head at the person next to you "You did well I'm sorry for making you wait so long" you smiled looking to manjiro and kissing his cheek "I'm just happy it's over now he was getting too reckless anyways wasn't good for business"

[looks-golden]

another bunch of incorrect ducktales quotes

Gosalyn: I truly go into housewife mode when I'm someone's soulmate- like, I'll make you pancakes and bacon every morning.

Dewey: This is a lie.

Dewey: I'm literally dating them. This is a lie.

Dewey: THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK A PANCAKE, WHAT IS THIS.

=================================

Louie: Huey said its my turn with the brain cell.

Dewey: Square up.

=================================

Honkers: And what do I get out of this?

Gosalyn : I will give you a dollar.

Honkers: What do you think I am? A chump? I would never do it for a dollar!

Gosalyn : How bout two dollars?

Honkers: You got yourself a deal.

=================================

Gosalyn : I'm very scary.

Drake: You're about as scary as a wet kitten.

Gosalyn : Wet kittens are cute, at least I've got that going for me.

Drake: And small.

Gosalyn :

Gosalyn : ...Yeah, yeah. I guess.

=================================

Lena: I’m here for the cult stuff.

Honkers: How did you find us?

Lena: I saw your ad on craigslist.

=================================

May, gardening: Hey, can you bring me the hoe?

June: Yeah, sure. *A few minutes later*

June: Here you go.

May:

June:

Dewey: Why am I here?

=================================

*The gang's thoughts on stabbing*

Boyd: Would never stab anyone.

May: Would stab someone in retaliation.

Dewey: Yells "I won't hesitate, bitch!" first.

Webby: Would stab without warning.

Gosalyn : Would stab as a warning.

=================================

Gosalyn : There are three ways to handle a difficult situation. The right way, the wrong way, and the Dewey way.

Honkers: Isn't that the wrong way?

Gosalyn : Yes, but it's faster.

=================================

Dewey: Are you reading fan fiction?

Honkers, reading an article about extremely rare diseases: Wh- No.

Dewey: Oh, is it on AO3?

Honkers: This is CNN.

=================================

Lena: What are you in the mood for?

Webby: World domination.

Lena: That's a bit ambitious.

Webby: You are my world.

Lena: Aww...

Webby:

Lena:

Webby:

Lena: OH.

=================================Violet: When you work at lush and a customer comes in and bites the soap because they think it’s cheese... this happens way more frequently than you think.

May: If you stopped literally presenting soap as deli food this wouldn't happen.

Violet: Who goes into a bath store and thinks something covered in glitter is cheese?

June: Who goes to the store and just takes a bite from the cheese?

=================================

Doofus: Count me in!

Violet: Who the hell are you?! Doofus: Oh, you know my sibling! They worked at Wendy's.

Violet: Oh yeah, Boyd! How are they doing?

Doofus: Oh yeah, not too good. They've been dead for the past month.

Dewey: What the hell, they didn't tell us!

=================================

Huey, rubbing their temples: I am not proud of what I am about to say, but someone get me a cigarrette.

June: But Huey, we don't smoke.

Huey: Cut the crap, June. I'm not an idiot. I know that one in five people smoke.

Huey: *points at Dewey* One! *points at Louie* Two! *points at Webby* Three! *points at Gosalyn * Four! *points at June* Five!

Huey: Now, I am going to close my eyes, and when I open them, there better be a cigarrette between these two fingers!

Gosalyn : *puts a cigarrette in Huey's hand*

Huey: Thank you. ...Light? The Squad: *all simultaneously pull out lighters*

=================================

Doofus: There are three chairs and five kids. What do you do?

Webby: Get two more chairs.

Dewey: Cut each chair in half to make six.

Violet: Make them FIGHT for their seats!

Gosalyn : I would never be near children.

Lena: Get rid of two kids.

=================================Webby: *yawns*

Lena: Yeah, being that pretty must be tiring.

Webby: Then you must be exhuasted.

May: Will you two shut up? Some of us are lonely.

=================================

Lena: You ever see something that changes your life and you're just like "huh.."

Webby: I saw you.

Lena: Honestly that's so cute and sweet but it kinda makes this awkward because I was gonna show you a picture of June in a turkey costume.

=================================

Lena: How is spring not everyone’s favorite season? The trees are PINK, guys!

Gosalyn : Allergies are also a problem, y'know.

Lena: But pink.

May: And it's hot.

Lena: PINK! =================================

Demon: Hey, I took your soul last month and-

Lena: No returns.

Demon: *sobbing* But it's making me sad... =================================

[royalsunshinehotel]

"The Wolf" NSFW Alphabet

A/N: I've only ever seen the movie... also this was co-written with @withoutajem

A= Aftercare The Wolf is definitely a cuddly. He's a softie a heart, and likes to clean you up, check in, etc.

B= Body Part He likes his hair, you love playing with it, and he likes the texture. He's a fan of the soft part of your thighs and biting them

C=Cum The Wolf has a massive breeding kink. If you have a uterus, you need to get on some kind of birth control asap. If not, he's still cumming inside.

D=Dirty Secret It's not so much a secret, he just doesn't really need it broadcasted that he likes you on all fours, in a collar. Is there a leash? Maybe, that's up to you.

E=Experience I'll die on the hill that The Wolf is a hoe. I'm thinking maybe, because his job is so stressful, he'd just have random hookups to let off steam. Was it a learning experience? Yes. Does history matter now? No.

F= Favorite Position Face down, ass up is his favorite, this is usually when he just gets back from a 'job', and it tends to turn into spoon fucking because he can get tired.

G=Goofy Not so much, he's more serious in the moment. This man only smiles once a year and he's not just gonna be giving them out. Or a joke either.

H=Hair He clearly keeps his hair in order, so as far as "the carpet matching the drapes" he keeps his shit cut back.

I=Intimacy Despite the obvious, he likes to be present and aware of you. Things can get kind of rough but it rarely gets to the point where you're displeased. He wouldn't want that.

J=Jack Off Used to be a hoe, as mentioned earlier, but now he truly has tunnel vision. If you're not available, or you're asleep or something, he'll just knock himself out.

K=Kink Breeding Kink/ Lactation Kink: If the two of you can get pregnant, you better watch it because he'll keep you knocked up. When you're pregnant, everyone knows what he's done to you, everyone knows who your with. It feels like your safe. You look so pretty, he lives for it. As for lactation, it walks hand in hand with the breeding kink. If your lactating, you've had his child, and he's into it for all the reasons above. He'll try and explain but he really just likes your breasts in his mouth. Biting Kink: He's a wolf, he'll stay biting you wherever he wants. Predator/Prey: Sometimes, sometimes, you get a 10 minute head start to run into the woods, and The Wolf has to come and catch you. Fucking outside? Yes. Bondage: It's less frequent, but you will be tied up. It's true. Gun/Knife play: If I'm being honest, I don't know too much about this. All I know is that between the two of you, he's the boss, and when you don't obey the boss, knives come out, clothes get torn, etc. Housewife kink: This one is straightforward. His attachment to the housewife stems from a childhood crush on Lucille Ball, because she''s hot don't play. The Wolf's mother passed when he was so young, he never thought he could have "normal family", and he's living his dream now, kinda.

L=Location He'll fuck you somewhat in public. Like if you're out at a bar, he'll snatch you up and get after it in the bathroom. He's also a fan of sex in the kitchen. It's not uncommon that you'll be working on something, turn around, and he'll be on his knees.

M=Motivation Truly believe this man is jealous. It's not like he doesn't trust you, he doesn't trust the other people in the world. He likes when other people covet what's his, it helps him enjoy you all the more. Also, he's motivated by your goodness, your kindness, your innocence. Your sweet and good and he gets off on thinking he's corrupting you. This being said, when you give him attitude ever, that works too.

N=NO! The Wolf would never agree to share you. He also hates edging/over stimulation. It's just how he is, he wants control.

O=Oral The Wolf will eat you all night, we know this. You'll be howling and crying when he's done with you, and that's great. The issue is sometimes he gets a bit lost unto himself, and you have to smack the back of his head to let him know it's time for the Actual Sex now.

P=Pace He's not 'fast and rough' or 'slow and sensual', the best I can describe him is "not chill". Whatever the two of you are doing it usually feels intense and has your head spinning.

Q=Quickie Absolutely! Anywhere! Watch yourself! He'll snatch you up!

R=Risk Yeah, he's down to experiment, if you ask nicely. It's not something he actively seeks out.

S=Stamina He's got stupidly high stamina, and on the rare occasions where he's burnt out, he'll make sure you get off at least twice.

T=Toy He likes toys, he likes using toys on you when you've been 'bad', but as for himself? No.

U=Unfair Lots of teasing! He's literally mean. He'll edge and overstimulate you because he's an asshole.

X= X-Ray Grower, a pleasant surprise

Y=Yearning It's pretty high. Before, as a hoe, he was just messing around, but having someone to come back to really has changed his life.

Z=ZZZ It naturally takes him a minute to wind down after sex, he likes his aftercare.

[overandoutthere]

the degree to which i have been domesticated....nic out here proving you can absolutely turn a hoe into a housewife.

[howdoyousleep3]

hi mama k! For the emoji game:

❌ What's a trope you will never write?

🏆 What's your most popular fic?

🤲 Would you please share a snippet of a wip?

hope you and fam are feeling okay 🫶🏼

Hi babycakes! 😚 We're feeling better, thank goodness. I hope you're feeling lovely. 💕

❌ What's a trope you will never write?

Hmm, tough tough. I can't think of a specific trope but I really don't dig anything that's sad or angsty or just...cloaked in negativity? Nothing is coming to mind right away, but I dig most tropes!

🏆 What's your most popular fic?

According to Ao3, it's actually like it's the only thing i'll ever do, which is both surprising and unsurprising to me, aha. It never fails to surprise me that Omegaverse AU gets the most attention because for good reason, but I personally don't think that's my most popular fic. I wish I could go back and rewrite it honestly but...the hoes (lovingly) love it! 😍

🤲 Would you please share a snippet of a wip?

Hell yeah, I love snippets. Take two!

Mommy Kink...

“Did you have a good day?”  Not a question of why he’s here or what led to him being on the receiving end of such physical violence that then resulted in the marks on his face. It’s a simple inquiry, but you aren’t surprised by the venom in his tone.  “What the fuck do you care?”  “I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t care, you know this.” Your tone is gentle, soft, as you reach for the zipper of your skirt and try again. “Did you have a good day?”  His eyes are on your body as your skirt drops to the floor. They feel like a physical touch, a heavy one. Even broken and furious he still manages to fill this space with intensely sexual energy and your body, fragile from your own long day, reacts immediately. You ignore said reaction as best you can, but you’re sure your hardened nipples are visible through your shirt as you bend to reach for your skirt.  “I didn’t come here to talk about my day,” he tells you, tone sharp and mocking.  “Oh? And why did you come here?”  He doesn’t miss a beat. “I came here to fuck you.”  You in turn do not miss a beat either. “Oh, sugar— that’s not quite the truth, is it?”

Annnnnd...Housewife Roleplay

He reaches forward on his tippy-toes, places a kiss onto Steve’s bearded cheek. When he pulls back Steve continues to fill the air with silence. Bucky chooses to reach for Steve’s shoulder bag, taking it from his body and placing it in its designated spot on its hook a few steps away. His heart hammers against his chest when he makes his way back towards Steve. 

It batters overtime against his ribcage when the senator startles him with a burly arm wrapped tightly around his waist, with a tug and a squeeze that results in his entire front being pressed deliciously to the older man’s own. 

“Smells delicious,” he purrs against Bucky’s mouth, hand quickly wandering down to his ass draped in silky material. Bucky’s heart soars elatedly, his mouth parting to make way for his breathing picking up. When Steve’s big fingers dig into the meat of his ass, kneading, Bucky can’t help but gasp. He feels smaller like this, in this roleplay and dressed more femininely. He’s tempted to drop to his knees right here and call the whole thing off to suck Steve off, but he worked too hard for this. He has to stay focused.

fanfic writer emoji

[spaceytingz]

Critical review high road japanese deluxe by Kesha 🍜🐪

High Road really defined the pre-pandemic January and February for me, it's such a great album. Some people say it's a combination of the party Ke$ha and the vulnerable Kesha of Rainbow but.... The Harold Song, Blind, Hungover, Last Goodbye, Boogie Feet, Let 'Em Talk and many other songs show that she has been able to do it all along. I think what makes this album truly special is the fact that more or less, it's the first time she has been allowed to truly let loose in her music. Sure, she's had a lot of her whimsical moments in her first three albums (which I adore) but she's either had something to prove or had to answer to him.

High Road is an absolute mess in the best way. Tonight is a stellar opening track, and a stellar song in general. My Own Dance is a bit weak and I'd relegate it to a deluxe track but I do appreciate what it stands for. Raising Hell was panned by fans upon release and I never got why, it's literally so good, taking Hymn (a song that changed my life)'s theme and tackling it with a delightful devil-may-care attitude that really works for me. Also the MV is AMAZING.

The title track is one of her best songs ever, easily. Truly the best possible representation of the album and her in general: self-indulgent, messy, loud, in your face, fiercely individualistic, more willing to flip you off and drive away than fight. I really relate to it.

Shadow is a fine song, the message is nice but I do think it's a bit of a waste of a track. Could be a bonus track.

Honey was my fave on my first listens and is still in my top 3. I don't think I can say anything that can do it justice so i'll just say GOOGLE ME BITCH!

Cowboy Blues is her ending Taylor Swift at her own game on her first try. DID I FUCK MY WHOOOOOLE LIFEEE UP

Resentment is a gorgeous song, Little Bit Of Love is so euphoric, I really love belting it, especially liking the whole.... delivery, her being drunk/sad in the verses and then BELTING the chorus, LOVE IT.

Kinky is amazing although the intro is a biiit unnecessary KINDA SWEET STUFF KINDA FREAKY BITTY SHIT YOU CAN TRUST ME I CAN BE A KINKY BITCH SAY YOU CAN'T TURN A HOE INTO A HOUSEWIFE WELL WHO WANTS A HOUSEWIFE WHO AIN'T A HOE SOMETIMES? I LIKE IT KINDA SLOW AND SWEET SOMETIMES I LIKE IT WHEN YOU'RE BEGGING ON YOUR KNEES SOMETIMES ON YOUR BED IN THE CAR AT YOUR BEST FRIEND'S PARTY BABY YOU-

changed lives.

Potato Song (Cuz I Want To) is her Store. It's such a fun song that I feel really describes her (and me) as a person and she just.....doesn't care if you like it, fuck you if you don't like it. Amazing.

BFF is amazing, Father Daughter Dance is devastating, Chasing Thunder makes me feel free and Summer is just euphoric.

Haven't listened to Big Bad Wolf much, it's reminding me of something that would be on Cannibal, it's nice but it really is a bonus track.

Amazing if a little flawed, High Road is probably my album of the year along with Dedicated Side B and Manic.

[alyjojo]

Love Reading 🤤- October 2023 - Aquarius

Singles:

Overall energy: 3 Wands

How you will meet: Judgement rev

How they will treat you: Queen of Cups

Long-term Potential: Death, The Hanged Man rev & 10 Cups

Oracle: Om Sweet Om

PHOENIX 🔥

- New Phase & Rekindle

- Renew & Growth

- Changed Mind

- Rise From Ashes

This is like…turning a hoe into a housewife kind of energy 😆 Not literally, maybe. The passion was on point way before love came into the picture, in fact it’s after you swear off this person forever, that they realize they caught feels. There is time & emotion invested into this, a transformative “Phoenix” energy about this person. They didn’t realize how special you were until you had enough of their bs, or this casual fling, and anyone else that’s non-committal or has options, fk that. You won’t give any more of your energy to that. And they’re like…I can change 😫 Hahahaha. Maybe not immediately, maybe so, either way. Wheel of Fortune here is a lesson, probably karmic, and they’re learning it, because with Queen of Cups, they’re in love with you. You make them feel all of the things they should be, and they didn’t even realize it.

Messages -

Their side:

- I love the way you look at me.

- In love with you 💚

Your side:

- New Perspective

- You hurt me first.

Signs you may be dealing with:

Scorpio, Pisces, Cancer & Sagittarius

Couples:

Overall energy: 4 Wands rev

Current: 10 Wands rev

Challenge: The Star rev, 6 Wands & 2 Wands

How they feel about you: 8 Pentacles

How you feel about them: 4 Swords

Outcome: Temperance

The relationship between you seems solid, but there’s some external thing going on in the family, probably with you and your sibling/s, family, friends, or they’re involved somehow. There is a celebration mentioned, a reunion, or that was the goal, and I don’t see that playing out how you’d hoped. It’s something you have to give up on, something that’s a heavy weight on your shoulders, and one you’re probably carrying quietly, because you’re person is off doing their own thing for the most part. It’s causing unrest in a normally stable home. There is disappointment and sadness surrounding disconnection, or being alone. You’re in your head over it, how you wish things could’ve been different.

The challenge is pessimism, you don’t have any hope that this can get better, things can move forward. Something has happened that was a betrayal, feeling stabbed in the back, this could’ve happened quite suddenly, and you were shocked. It could’ve changed everything, Towers usually do. Or at least your perception of how things were vs. how they really are, that’s a repeated message. You’re needing to gain clarity and see the truth of what’s really going on with some of the people around you.

Your person is pretty black & white in their feelings. Their focus is mostly related to work, and avoiding any drama. If they are involved in any way, it’s attempting to keep the peace, putting effort into just being nice & avoiding topics that may set others off. They could see how much effort you’ve put into attempting to heal relationships that are troubled & bring drama to you life, to no avail. You feel like you’re just done, you need clarity, need to heal, need to take a break from the stress this puts on your shoulders, like it’s not even your job. Relating to your person, they could be encouraging you to give up on this painful dynamic in the family, because it only hurts you. You’re guarded about the family, your person is guarded about you, you’re aware this all just needs to be released because you can’t deal with the pressure. It’s too much. You definitely feel betrayed.

Outcome for mid Nov is trying to get back to a place of peace in yourself, cutting through the bs and realizing the truth of a situation that’s maybe fooled you for some time. You could be dealing with a liar or manipulator, and are seeing the light (good for you). Or you just saw this differently, more positively, and you’re “seeing the light”, even if that’s deeply disappointing for you. It seems like most of you are releasing yourself from this situation entirely, for your own peace of mind. Others of you, it’s possible this person is trying to reunite with you, and you’re going to be realizing how manipulative they really are. If they’re lying, you’ll see it eventually 💯 The challenge is not being able to unsee it, and everything changes.

Messages -

Their side:

- Sibling Drama

- I am happy where I am

Your side:

- Yearns for your love.

- Quietly observing

Oracles - You are a child of the universe 🪐

Their side:

THE BUTTERFLY 🦋

- Evolving & Growth

- Next Phase

- Healing Inner Child

- Releasing the Past

Your side:

LOVE CALL 📱

- Expressing Love

- Messages of Love

- Thinking of You

- Informing You

Signs you may be dealing with:

Aries, Cancer, Gemini, Scorpio, Sagittarius & Virgo