#(without actually having any idea on how to obtain said things)

[fuitygummy]

recently got back into neopets after 10+ years and the neopets brainrot has firmly settled

[honnelander]

surprises

WOW OK i can't believe i did this!! i needed a small break from my writer's block with Sanji and wanted to try my hand at another opla character that i find really interesting! and cute i'm sorry this was a lot of fun to write and i enjoyed the change of pace so i hope you enjoy! if you want to be tagged in any of my work, please read this

gif credit @zsuo

WARNINGS: none

word count: 2k

pairing: opla!buggy x reader

summary: reader is on 'clown duty' on the Going Merry while the crew searches for Nami, but the more you talk with Buggy, the more you realize you like him.

masterlist

taglist: @yarnnerdally @miloonmetis @fa1rybubbl3z @feelinmatcha @buggy0827 @uncomfortableshoelace @notasgard @deserticwren @shadydeanmuffin @ohsilk @antrenna @laviiv

Ok, you’ll admit it, you’ll finally admit it. You were finally going to admit to yourself the tiny, stupid, and annoying thought that has been plaguing the back of your mind for days now: 

You thought the clown was hot. 

Even saying that small, little sentence to yourself in your mind made you cringe and want to smack yourself into next week. 

You thought the clown was attractive? Buggy the freaking clown? Buggy, the flashy fool? Buggy, the... what, something-something jester? The guy that constantly wore that silly circus make up all the time, so you didn’t really know what his face even looked like exactly? The person who rivaled Usopp in always having the most shit to say? It was ridiculous.  

What was even worse, was the fact that he was just a head at this point, he wasn’t even a full person with a body. You had no idea what the rest of him looked like and you hated the fact that you were just so god damn curious to find out. It was embarrassing- you were attracted to a literal talking head! 

Apparently though, the rest of the crew had said, sans Sanji since you both had joined Luffy’s crew at the same time, that this Buggy guy was bad news. Why exactly? You didn’t really know, but it had something to do with Buggy attempting to drown Luffy to obtain the map to the Grand Line and decimating a town a couple of weeks ago. 

But it looked like that warning of ‘Buggy is dangerous’ had turned into ‘Buggy is just annoying’ since all he was now, at this point in time, was just a talking head that never seemed to shut up. That talking head, however, was your crew’s only ticket to find a rogue Nami so you all had no choice but to put up with his antics. 

“Can’t you just tell us where Arlong is?” you asked the clown head offhandedly one morning out on deck as you sharpened your daggers. “Without, you know, all the theatrics?”  

“God,” Buggy groaned, rolling his eyes to the heavens. “Are you deaf or are you just stupid?” he asked exasperatedly as his head hopped around and turned to face you. “For the millionth time- I can’t just tell you where Arlong is. My powers don’t work like that. I’m not a compass or a map.” 

“Well, actually, you kind of are, aren’t you?” you asked curiously with an eyebrow raised, not put off by his rude tone. “I mean, think about it,” you started, pointing the tip of your dagger to look at him. “You could like, ‘leave’ a toe or something anywhere you wanted to remember a certain thing or place, and you could then just... sense where to go to get it back. Exactly like a map.” You were silent for a minute as you went back to sharpening the blade. “But I guess you already did that, right? Since that’s how you found Luffy at the Baratie?” you asked with a thoughtful hum. 

“Wow,” Buggy laughed condescendingly. “You’re a real sharpshooter, aren’t you? Thanks for that master analysis, captain obvious. What do you think I’m doing right now?” 

The corner of your mouth twitched upwards. “Acting like a map to get your body back,” you answered without hesitation and a twinge of smugness. “Maybe you should be called ‘Buggy the Map’ instead. It has a nice ring to it.” 

The clown’s patronizing smile dropped, his expression deadpanning. “Haha, very funny,” Buggy said in a humorless voice. “And here I thought you weren’t anything more than just a pretty face.” 

Your eyes darted to him, quickly scanning over his expression to see if he was seriously calling you pretty or if he was just joking. When you saw no hint of sincerity in his green eyes (wow they were pretty), you cleared your throat and refocused your attention back onto your blade.  

“Yeah, well, I’m full of surprises actually,” you said matter-of-factly without thinking, your mouth having a mind of its own. Your eyes widened slightly, your line of sight not budging from your dagger as your hand running along the blade stilled for a second.  

Were you flirting with Buggy?

Were you insane? 

Buggy’s attention was already wandering but at your choice of words, his eyes snapped right back to your face. For once in his life, he was at a loss for words. “Uh... ok?” He blinked. “Like what?” 

You felt your cheeks flush slightly, running your sharpening stone along the blade at a quicker pace. “Wouldn’t you like to know.” 

The clown furrowed his eyebrows, scrunching up his face in confusion as he looked at you. He felt like he had entered the Twilight zone or something.  

“Uh, yeah. You’re the one who brought it up, sweet cheeks,” he said as he watched you intently focus on your task at hand. Buggy then quirked an eyebrow as he added in snooty tone, “Well, whatever ‘surprise skills’ you have can’t possibly be knife sharpening because you’ve been working on that same blade all morning.” 

Shit. He was right, you realized. You had been out here longer than you initially thought and had been working on the same dagger ever since you sat down with him.  

In a quick attempt to hide your embarrassment at being called out, you swiftly sat up and stabbed the tip of your small blade into the wooden barrel next to where his head was. “Watch your mouth clown!” 

But Buggy didn’t even flinch. “Pfft, nice try sweetheart,” he scoffed. “But blades don’t scare me. I’m immune to cuts, remember? I’m literally just a head right now.” 

Crap. He got you. Again. You leaned back in your seat, pulling out your other blade to sharpen.  

“Oooo, another dagger, huh?” he asked with feigned interest, catching your gaze. “I guess you really are ‘full of surprises’,” he teased with an overly flirtatious tone and an exaggerated wink. 

At that, your face reddened. You knew he was just joking, but the combination of you admitting to yourself that you found him attractive coupled with his flirty teasing and that wink... it was causing your heart rate to accelerate like you had a schoolgirl crush.  

And crushing on Buggy? The talking clown head? It was just all too ridiculous. 

You resumed your blade sharpening ritual, trying to pretend like he wasn’t affecting you. “Well, I did tell you that, didn’t I?” you asked, trying to turn the tables back on him. 

Buggy was silent for a beat as his eyes regarded you. HIs voice dropped an octave lower, intentionally or not, you weren’t sure, as he said in a more earnest tone, “Yeah... but I didn’t think it was true.” 

Your eyebrows shot up at hearing his admission, his tone surprising you as you quickly turned your head towards him. When you saw the look in his eyes, the way that he was still staring at you, it caused your heart to skip a beat. It was like he was seeing you for the first time, really seeing you. 

‘Being more than a pretty face’ wasn’t something you took lightly; it was something you lived by. It had become your mantra of some sort. Your whole life, you were underestimated, rarely ever being taken seriously because you ‘had a pretty face’ that you could ‘coast by’ on. People (men) always assumed you were too dumb to understand things or be smart and have talents because you were pretty, and it absolutely infuriated you.  

You shook your head, clearing up those thoughts. You didn’t feel like delving into that right now and especially not with Buggy of all people, so instead of biting back, you said with a curt, humorless laugh as you went back to your blade, “There’s always more to people than meets the eye, you know.” 

Buggy let out a snort, his green eyes looking towards the sky for a second. “Yeah,” he agreed. “No kidding.” 

Both of you became quiet, a few beats of strangely comfortable silence passing between the two of you before you broke it. 

“But probably not with you though,” you joked. “You’re probably just all clown, complete with bad jokes and questionable make up. And,” you looked at him, a spark of mischief in your eyes, “you’re probably not even that tall.” 

You hoped to God that Buggy really did have a sense a humor and that your playful jabs didn’t go over his bandana cladded head because you really didn’t want to make an enemy out of him. And if he didn’t get your sense of humor, then you and him probably would never work out anyway.  

Your stomach fell to your feet at the thought. What were you even saying?? Jesus, you really were delusional. The quicker you guys found Arlong and split ways with Buggy, the better. 

But of course, the universe had different plans for you, because Buggy did in fact have a sense of humor and took your mockery of his height in stride. 

“What- not tall?? Please,” his voice becoming playfully haughty. “Just wait until you see my body, sweetheart. I’ll be looking down at you, telling you the best jokes you’ve ever heard in your life with some fresh clown make-up on,” he said, winking at you with a click of his tongue. “I call it ‘the Buggy trifecta.’” 

You looked away from him, hiding your flushed cheeks as you shook your head, a smile on your face as you opened your mouth to say something back when Sanji came up to the upper deck, a small smile on his face when he saw you and effectively cutting off your banter. 

“Ah, there you are y/n!” the blonde cook called out. “I’ve been looking for you. I didn’t realize you’d be out here on, uh,” his blue eyes darted to Buggy for a nanosecond before looking back at you, “clown duty.” 

Buggy scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Well, good morning to you too, happy feet.” 

Sanji glanced at Buggy again, furrowing his eyebrows for a second before shaking his head once with a blink and letting out a small sigh as he turned his attention back to you, deciding it wasn’t worth it to argue with the clown head. 

“Yeah, so, uh, anyway,” he said as he put his hands in his pockets. “Breakfast is ready,” he relayed, jabbing a thumb behind him. “I wanted to let you know before it got cold.” 

“Hey, what about my breakfast, blondie?” Buggy complained. “I might just be a head right now, but a clown’s gotta eat, you know?” When he saw the questionable stares from you and Sanji, Buggy shook his head. “Don’t ask me how it works,” he said before either of you could say anything. “But it just does. I still get hungry and need to eat.” He looked back up at Sanji, his green eyes expectant. “So how about whipping me up some scrambled eggs, huh?” 

Sanji blinked. “Oh, well, sure-” 

“I got it, Sanji,” you said, cutting off your lifelong friend. You stood up from your seat, sheathing your daggers back into their holsters on your hips. “I’ll make you some eggs Buggy.” 

“Ooo, look at that,” Buggy laughed. “You really are full of surprises, aren’t you?” he asked, wiggling his eyebrows. 

Ignoring the questioning look Sanji was giving you, you walked past the two men, well, man and talking head, and started going down the stairs. “Here’s another surprise: I’ll cook you your eggs once I’m done eating, in like an hour. How does that sound?” 

“Whoa, wait, wait, wait! I didn’t mean it like that, y/n!” Buggy quickly backtracked, trying his best to smooth things over with you as fast as he could. “I meant that as like, a good surprise! Really!” 

You smirked to yourself, finding it funny how quickly Buggy switched up his mannerisms in order to get what he wanted. “Sanji, you’re on clown duty!” You called out, tunning Buggy out, leaving him begging and pleading with a confused Sanji, who was wondering what the heck he just witnessed between you two. 

[bingsooow]

Hi! I was wondering if you can do amab! Venture hate fucking fem!reader who works for talon 😇

W anon for requesting this I’ll make this one extra special

As Sloan finished up their excavation at Petra, they admired the artifact they found. All that time spent in the sun as it ruthlessly beat down on them was worth it. They were covered head to toe in dirt and sweat. They took a moment to wipe off the dirt on their cheek. Sloan gathered up their things and all the while had something lingering on their mind.

Earlier that day, they had a run in with Talon. More specifically as they would put it, one of their goons. But it didn’t feel like they were just fighting against any normal talon goons. This one in particular was smarter, more swift and aggressive. Judging by the body shape alone it had to have been a girl right? It was something they pondered. They couldn’t tell however. The individual was masked.

Sloan set up camp somewhere right by the ruins they explored at. As they finally got something to eat and had a chance to sit down and breathe they could hear something from outside. It sounded like rustling. They hummed before peeking outside of what they called home for the time being.

“Must have been the wind.” Sloan said trying to convince themselves that they were alone. Nobody was there with them. Except they were incorrect. As soon as they turned around there was the same talon worker from earlier. Sloan jumped in fear. What were they doing in their home?

Sloan didn’t have time to question it before they grabbed their drill, they held it up like a threat. “You’re not getting any of these artifacts.” They said proudly, trying not to express their fear from how they managed to sneak behind them. The person didn’t say anything, rather it looked to the side observing the artifact Sloan worked all day to obtain.

“Oh no not that one!” They lunged to get it, however the figure grabbed it. Sloan could begin to feel frustrated. All day in the heat finding this little important piece of history and they could possibly loose it. The only thing on their mind was getting it back.

Fighting this figure was harder than they thought. Having to avoid breaking other things they owned as they tried to get it back was harder than they thought. At some point they kicked off the helmet that the figure wore. And it was a woman. A beautiful one at that. But they couldn’t let themselves get wrapped up into her looks when she was trying to steal from them.

Once Sloan had their hands on the artifact it seemed to shatter from what it gone through moments prior. In that instant Sloan seen red. They weren’t the same they usually were as their hard work went to waste.

They tackled the woman, Sloan holding her down as they looked down at her. When she looked back at them she had a smirk. She hadn’t said much to them until that moment. When she laughed at them. It got them more frustrated.

“This isn’t funny! You just ruined almost 100 years of history and this is funny? My hard work is all gone!” They yelled at her hoping she understood what she just did. “That little piece of crap wasn’t worth much anyway nerd. You wasted your own time.”

Sloan never thought they would hear that in their life. That some relic that they found wasn’t worth much. “You’re wrong! It’s worth so much! And it’s so-“ “I don’t care. Are you going to let me go? Hit me? I’m so scared.” She seemed to say sarcastically.

If it weren’t for her pretty face Sloan would have already been done with her. However an idea clicked into their mind. A way for them to get their revenge without actually hurting her face. They liked looking at it.

“Actually no, I’m going to fuck you and you’re going to take it.” Sloan thought those words were foreign to them. Like it didn’t come from them and they forced themselves out of their mouth.

“Like you could.” She seemed to say with a laugh. Mocking them. Sloan hated being mocked and made fun of. It pissed them off some way they’ve always kept concealed. But with that they thought that they shouldn’t use the bed to prove to her their worth. They were going to leave her right on the ground.

“Just you watch.” And just like that Sloan had this beautiful woman uttering nonsense under them. Their fingers were softly squeezing her throat. A sinister smile across their face as they watched how she reacted. Sloan was just teasing her core with their cock. Moments before using their fingers.

“What was that you said earlier?” They asked as they inserted themselves into her. It wasn’t hard at all because she was already so wet under them. But for Sloan this was almost like heaven for them. Usually since they’ve been out here they’ve had to rely on their hand. This feels much better than that.

Sloan could hear her mumble meaningless apologies as they started at a slow pace. “You know..maybe I’m not sorry..you can’t-“ Y/n was cut off as Sloans pace got faster. Hitting deeper with each stroke. It left her speechless as she least expected it.

Sloan took out all their frustration and anger from earlier all on her in that moment. They were biting her, leaving soft pink hickies in the firelight that engulfed the room. Eventually they could hear her basically begging them, crying out for them. “S-so close…” But Sloan didn’t care. This wasn’t just for her. They cared about them and their release. It sounded selfish but again they didn’t care.

They could feel her tense up under them and tighten their core around Sloans cock. They bit their lip trying to prevent any whimpers from falling as they got closer and closer to their release. The talon agent on the other hand was moaning out, most likely from overstimulation.

Sloan then grunted out, the sound they tried to keep hidden came out of them as they pulled out in time to cum on her stomach. They closed their eyes as they panted. A couple moments passed, and Y/ns priority was getting cleaned up before she had to go back to report her failure to Talon.

The two didn’t say anything to each other after. She left as swiftly as she came. And dazed Sloan almost wondered whether they could see her again. They noticed something left behind from her however. A note, they questioned why it would have been left behind.

Once they read it she said that she wouldn’t mind coming back for them. Not for the artifacts or relics but for them alone. They didn’t know if they should be scared or excited but either way Sloan smiled reading it feeling something bubbling up in their stomach as they put the note in a safe spot.

Again thanks so much for requesting this and I enjoyed writing it :D I considered other versions of writing this before I settled on this one alone.

[a-student-out-of-time]

Thoughts on DRDT Chapter 2 Episode 12

//Hey everyone! So, it's been 17 months since the last episode, which...holy crap, right?

//Now that we've come to the continuation of our story, we have some new things to discuss, and I'm not just talking about what I've said. Instead of just repeating myself again, let's break down what's been happening in this episode and then we can continue theorizing.

I have three big things I want to address in this, which we should consider going forward:

(SPOILERS AHEAD)

The Murder Was Actually WORSE than it seemed

So Charles' point about where they fucked up was about the murder. However, it was about something I don't believe any of us quite considered: that the water from the relaxation room was taken and held for later use. We do have jugs in the trash that prove it's possible.

It's nice to see Teruko admit that she made a mistake and that the time of the murder was wrong, but to me, this meant two things: our murder could've happened at quite possibly any time and it would've been worse than it sounds.

See, death by drowning is already one of the worst ways to die, but if they obtained some jugs of water and used those in the murder, it means that our victim must've been waterboarded to death. Drowning is bad, but waterboarding is an even worse and more horrific way to die. More importantly to this case, it's pretty quick for the culprit.

Without oxygen, you'll experience brain death within 6-10 minutes. Since we now know the murder was set up in advance overnight, this means that all they really needed to do was grab their target, carry out the drowning and then hang the body to break the neck and disguise the cause of death. It could be over in less than 15 minutes.

We also now know that, as we all predicted, the murder likely took place around 7:30-8 AM, not PM, when most people were asleep and only a few were up at breakfast. This has also thrown most everyone's alibis out the window.

Essentially, whomever our victim was, she was murdered via waterboarding and then her body hung up while some people were awake. They cut is so close that the body was still swaying, as Teruko noted. That wouldn't happen just from the fans.

2. What's David Game Plan?

I've made it no secret that I'm not a fan of David, nor do I agree with the view that he's set to be DT's rival. As I've said many times before, Teruko doesn't need a rival like him, since the only challenge he offers her is being an existential threat.

That being said, I both like and dislike what happened with David this episode. It's good to see him not consistently being an annoying troll who evades questions by being a dick, and to actually have something more to say and some actual questions he raises. He's been lying about being Arei's killer, and apparently, that's part of what he considers a noble goal on par with Xander.

David's point in this episode is that he wants to be a "good person" like Xander, which echoes my points in my theory about how that's what this chapter is about: The Meaning Of A "Good Person." Teruko is, understandably, still very bitter and hurt by his betrayal, so she considers that idea laughable. David's point that "I'm sure he had a good reason" actually made me laugh, admittedly.

But what's interesting is he gave us an answer in the form of a non-answer. He claims he believes in something greater than himself and the lives of everyone else in this game, and since they're all on TV, he questions why this would be happening if the people behind it didn't want to make things entertaining. He brings up how Xander wanted to end the killing game and he's been derailing the trial because he says he wants to do the same.

What's frustrating is, as Hu says, David has essentially decided everyone's lives aren't important enough to preserve, so it's better if they all just give up and die to end the game. Xander did not want that, he wanted to end it with minimal casualties. A Total Party Kill is antithetical to everything Xander stood for, so if David is being sincere, he's really spitting in the guy's face.

I'm really curious what exactly he meant by him being the only one who "recognized" him. The thing with J early on proved that some of these people were at least aware of each other pre-game.

But does this mean David is actually a good person with noble goals? What part of "You exist to manipulate others" is not clear? I can't accept that at this point, but here's what I can accept, because it fits in so well with what we've been seeing:

Consider: why exactly did Xander try to kill Teruko? Because someone wanted her dead and somehow convinced him to give it a shot. We know that someone out there wants Teruko dead for whatever reason, and direct attempted murder has failed. What's the next best thing? Convince someone else that she needs to be dealt with.

Remember the secret David got? "How could I even select what secret to be your motive? Just about everything you've done in your life is worth killing for. The killing game is all your fault."

And let's be real: it's gotta be Teruko's. Between everything we've seen, it can't be anyone else. I'm sure David just said it was Xander's because it was easier to blame a dead person.

So let's consider how easy it would be for David to see that secret and then convince himself that Xander not only had the right idea, it really is better to let everyone die if it means Teruko is gone too. I can buy his admiration for Xander could drive him to do something like that if he learned something that horrible about Teruko, and then decide it was all for the greater good.

That, of course, assumes he actually means what he says. I remain convinced that Hu was the one who carried out the killing in his stead, and with the Blackened rule- it's the one who's the "most mastermind-y," not just whoever deals the fatal blow- David's alibi is irrelevant.

"But Bubbles, didn't Hu and Nico say that they have alibis for morning?"

Yes, but I'm also convinced David drove both of them to attempt murder for these very same reasons, first with Ace and then Arei. Either this was a "selfless" act based on his blind hero-worship of Xander that required everyone to be sacrificed, or this is all a selfish act to end the game and escape with his own life. Until someone can independently verify that Hu and Nico have alibis, I can't believe anything they say.

As for why they wouldn't say anything, Hu made a very impassioned speech about wanting to live and that David has no right to decide who should live and die. She is correct, and if her secret is that she was a hopeless child who tried to end it all three times, that actually adds a lot more weight to what she's saying here.

...But at the same time, under the belief that whomever killed would be executed, why would someone who wants to live just admit to being the one who did it? I don't like to consider it, bu Hu's desire to live paradoxically makes her more suspicious in my eyes. At least in being David's patsy.

Oh, and speaking of murder, here's the thing we all called.

3. Levi's Secret

Let's be real: we all probably saw this one coming. In the closing minutes of the episode, Levi admits that his secret is being a remorseless murderer.

Now, where everyone got this wrong is in assuming that, because that's his secret, it means that he must've been the one to kill Arei. That theory can be pretty definitively put to bed because, as I said with Hu, why would a murderer just admit to being a murderer after all this has happened?

Moreover, his point wasn't a confession. He didn't say he was the one who killed her, he apologized for potentially derailing the discussion again, and this was when everyone had hit a dead end in how to progress. If Levi were the Blackened, why would he do that? It would be in his best interest to stay quiet until the very end.

Instead, I think this is where an even stronger point in my favor comes in: Arei really did visit Levi, and they did discuss their secrets, but he didn't kill her. They either collaborated, talked about it or at least made peace about it, since they both came from pretty shitty families and probably found some common ground.

David brought up what it means to be a good person, but Arei and Levi are also great examples. Both have done terrible things and wanted to find redemption from them, Levi with murder and Arei with being a bully. The only reason I can see this being brought up now is because we have yet to hear his or her side of this story, and that could bring us to more important revelations down the line.

//So there you go, my breakdown of this episode. It's answered some questions, pretty definitively ended a couple theories, and raised many more points of discussion. And thankfully now we only have to wait until Friday to receive some more answers : P

[karniss-bg3]

Writing prompt! Imagine Kar'niss and Tav actually getting into a disagreement about something relatively serious (something other than Kar'niss just getting grumpy about not feeding the shadows), and it being a moment of realization for one or both of them that Kar'niss is growing as a person to be more than just a yes-man to a perceived "majesty"

Weeks had passed since Tav’s arrival at Moonrise. During their stay they had bore witness to many incidents that made their skin crawl, atrocities which cemented in the idea that this may not be the place for them. They were in the process of packing their things, stuffing articles of clothing and supplies into their bag in a hurried fashion. Their mind often drifted to Kar’niss, one of few individuals in the accursed place they felt even a sliver of sympathy for. Yet he seemed cemented in place, unwilling to budge from his devotion, putting Tav in a conflicted state of mind. Distracted as they were they didn’t hear the soft clicking that moved along the wall, their concentration broken by a voice tucked away in a high corner.

“What is the True Soul doing?”

Tav whirled around, their heart rate kicking into high gear from the sudden intrusion. Their gaze drifted to see several reflective eyes peering at them from a darkened corner, watching Tav with an intensity that was slightly off putting. They often forgot there were many holes the drider could squeeze through if he wished it.

“Kar’niss, you startled me,” Tav said. They placed their hand on their chest in an effort to steady the rapid thumping within their rib cage. “I’m packing. I don’t think this is where I belong.”

Kar’niss’ pedipalps curled tight to his body, inching from his perch near the ceiling to creep closer to the ground. “True Soul is...leaving?”

“Yes,” Tav murmured, “I think that is for the best. I realize you hold loyalty to your Mistress but I at least ask for a head start before you inform the others. I’d like to think I’ve earned your trust enough for that much.” Tav swung their pack over their shoulder while turning to face the perplexed drider.

He frowned and climbed off the wall, his legs carrying him across the floor to bridge the gap between himself and Tav. “A traitor, a heretic…?! How dare one of Her faithful abandon Her!” He arced up while his front legs lifted into an aggressive stance.

Tav didn’t budge, reading Kar’niss’ face, able to see a tinge of uncertainty within his features. “No, how dare She treat one of Her faithful the way She does you.” Tav snapped, their chest pushed out in an effort to stand up to his advance.

“Wh—What? True Soul speaks lies. We are Her chosen, Her devout! We should rip out your blasphemous tongue!” Kar’niss shifted from side to side in an anxious trot, his hand retrieving the sword at his back.

“I am the first that has spoken any truth to you at all, at least in these walls. Don’t you see how they treat you? You’re less than dirt on the bottom of a shoe to these fanatics. They have one goal and they don’t give a shit who dies to obtain it. That includes you.”

“No, NO! Majesty loves us, She did not see an abomination in us. She saw a soldier, strong and loyal. A guide to shepherd Her followers into Her light. We are important!” Kar’niss’ breathing increased in pace, the grip on his sword hilt so tight that his knuckles grew ghostly pale.

“I don’t see you as an abomination either. Does that count for nothing? Who else besides me has spoken to you since I’ve been here? Who played beautiful music for you while you stood alone at the top of the tower?”

“But—“

“Who bandaged your wounds when the rest left you to die? Who called you by your name? Not drider, not web-arse, not eight-legged freak. Kar’niss!”

His hands trembled, his eyes darting around in confusion. “W-Wuh—We...are Her chosen. We are nothing without Majesty’s light…” His voice trailed off, wobbled and in pain.

“Which is the lie they have been feeding you since the beginning. But I don’t believe that, not for a second. I think you’re better than playing puppet to some selfish deity. You should come with me, leave this wretched place. Rise above the expectations of someone else.”

Kar’niss backed away from Tav as if he had been struck with a weapon, visibly panting from a growing panic. “They do not know us! They think they can barge in and try to lead us astray!”

“I am trying to lead you astray because I don’t want you to die here!”

“What does it matter if we die? Our lives are forfeit, we belong no where! We are nothing!” Kar’niss’ voice raised, his body lifting up more so as his inner anger churned deep within.

“Stop it, it’s NOT TRUE!”

“IT IS!”

“Tell me what the fuck you want!” Tav yelled as they stepped forward, invading the drider’s space despite how volatile the situation had grown.

“I—We…”

Tav marched up and poked Kar’niss directly between the pedipalps. “Don’t hold out on me now, speak for yourself for once.”

“Be silent!”

“Tell me, TELL ME!”

“To be more than THIS!” He cried, the grip on his sword lost causing it to hit the ground with a loud clang. His entire body quivered while he backed away from Tav. His form once puffed up and aggressive shrank down considerably, tucking himself away into a corner. He put his face in his hands, the sob he bit back escaped, a torrent of emotion unleashed. “I want to be more...than this.” His words were muffled by his hands, dripping with pent up anguish he kept locked away for far too long.

Tav exhaled a heavy breath while they rubbed the back of their neck, doing their best to calm down after the heated exchange. They wandered over to where Kar’niss sought to hide away, a frown etched over their features. “As do I. Please don’t give up, there is more for you out there than you may think.”

His hands lowered to reveal his face which was smeared with moisture. He stared at Tav a long moment to think over what was said, struggling to process it. Before he could respond the sound of quick footsteps were heard approaching the room. The door thrust open and a half-orc woman known as Z’rell entered.

“What is going on? We heard a commotion from downstairs!” Her eyes darted to Tav with scrutiny then wandered over to Kar’niss who looked upset. “Drider, you are meant to be on patrols. You’ve been asked not to hassle the True Soul. Must we take you to the dungeons for reeducation?”

Tav frowned while Kar’niss sucked in a sharp breath, his fear of such a fate radiating from his very pores.

“No, Disciple Z’rell. He is not hassling me,” Tav said.

The half-orc’s upper lip curled, taking note of the packed satchel over Tav’s shoulder. “And where is it you’re going? You’ve not been given any assignment.”

Tav’s breath hitched in their throat, their gaze wandering over to Kar’niss. They knew he could out them at any moment as he knew of their plan to leave. A silence fell over the room, each party involved looking to one another, the tension thick in the air.

“W-With us,” Kar’niss said. “We are to retrieve new followers, it is Majesty’s will. With a True Soul they will be more willing to follow an a-abomination.”

Tav’s eyebrows lofted with some surprise. They watched Kar’niss’ features, able to sense it pained him to lie and yet at the same time it was an odd sort of relief to him.

Z’rell huffed. “Very well, if it is in service to the Absolute. Do not be gone for long, we march for Baldur’s Gate soon. And for fucks sake keep it down.”

Both Tav and Kar’niss nodded. “Of course Disciple Z’rell, we understand. Thank you,” Tav said.

The warlock rolled her eyes and left the room, closing the door behind her with a firm slam. The pair left behind exhaled in unison, as close of a call as either could’ve expected. Tav turned to the drider who was still a little dazed and pensive.

“You saved my neck. Thank you, Kar’niss.”

He shook his head while rubbing his hands together in a nervous fervor. “She will be angry with us. We will be punished, She will take Her light away.”

Tav stepped in closer and reached out to cup his face in a bold move, guiding his chin to look at them. He was startled by the touch unsure how to react to it, but he wasn’t wholly opposed to the contact. “We will find a new light. Come with me, leave this place. Be more than this.” They paused and made eye contact with him. “Please.”

His lips trembled while his legs shuffled with hesitation, one hand rubbing at his plated arm in uncertainty. He had never defied the Absolute before, never even considered it. When he looked at Tav he felt things he couldn’t yet understand. Everything they said had been true even if some pieces were still difficult to fully accept. They were one of Majesty’s True Souls, maybe it meant more than he was meant to know.

“I...will go with you, True Soul. But we are afraid.”

Tav bowed their head and nodded. “I am too. Take comfort in the fact that we’ll be together. I won’t hurt you, I won’t make demands. Trust in me.”

Kar’niss’ brows knit, the very idea of trust a foreign concept all its own. “I will try.”

“Let’s get out of here.”

Kar’niss followed Tav out of the room, the pair wandering past the guards without incident. Kar’niss’ eyes darted around nervously as if certain all around him knew he was leaving for good, certain someone would call out their betrayal. No one did, not a peep to be heard from the residents within, all too self absorbed in their own goals and desires to care about the drider’s or Tav’s intent. They’d exit Moonrise tower and march away from it’s looming shadow toward Baldur’s Gate. Kar’niss stopped on the road to look over his shoulder at the building he’d called home for sometime now. A lingering sadness hung over him, the push and pull of desperation for the Absolute’s acceptance locked in a bitter battle with his deep rooted desire to carve his own path. He couldn’t be sure this was the right choice or even if he fully believed in it, brainwashed as he was. But there was a tiny voice growing within his mind, a spark of free thought that told him to follow Tav into the den of the unknown. For better or for worse this was the voice he chose to listen to. He ripped his gaze from Moonrise and looked ahead to Baldur’s Gate, dutifully marching behind Tav to seek out new horizons, his fate left hanging in the balance.

A crack had begun to form in the foundation of his faith. It would be up to Kar’niss if he wanted to nurture the sprouts of change—or stamp them out as weeds.

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

A few days ago, you wrote about Harry's (Meghan's) red flags that would make them a security threat. Which got me thinking ... In the past 3 weeks the level of security risk for William and Catherine (and the children, by extension) must have gone up considerably.

When this forat started off as a joke, it was mostly about handling Catherine's privacy and her medical history. And someone somewhere must have realized that the London Clinic would be an easy source of security breach. I'm assuming that the hospital has top notch NDAs and everyone is expected to be absolutely discreet since many many high profile patients get admitted there. Maybe even some, whose medical diagnosis and history, if disclosed, would rightly tilt the world on it's axis.

So maybe that was this angle was not top priority, because the agencies assumed they would be discreet. Everyone also assumed that actual news agencies and media outlet wouldn't print any info obtained illegally from hospital sources, even if they had the capacity to pay the source for the info.

Nobody thought some two-bit Instagram influencers would gleefully pounce on the chance like vultures.

Another angle, and this is very very serious IMO, is that once the conspiracies started all blame was falling on William. He was the villian who had allegedly done dispicable things to C to put her in the hospital and was then hiding things. The number of threats he received from randoms of social media must have been mind boggling. He is the heir, he has to be physically protected and kept safe at all times. And doing that effectively, without addressing the rumours head on would have been very difficult. Especially if they still wanted to maintain Catherine's privacy and dignity while doing so.

(And I said dignity because how you handle your own medical diagnosis is absolutely a matter of your dignity and boundaries and space)

Not to mention, nosy people would have started stalking the kids at the schools and playtimes. If at all that happened it would never be disclosed.

I think the utmost priority for people someone like William and Catherine their safety, merely based on their constitutional significance. And handling a looming PR crisis was not at the top of the palace list. Blaming the "palace" for not handling the PR crisis better is just wrong IMO.

The palace is not some big bad shadowey shady entity. The palace is essentially the principals, their immediate staff who work for the pricipals, and that includes different agencies that work towards ensuring their safety and security at all times.

If the palace was keeping their cards close to the chest, then that means it was Catherine and William who were keeping their cards close to the chest. Mainly because as normal humans their priority was to understand and absorb what was happening, what could happen and how to plan their lives in the immediate aftermath of this devastating news.

Their priority couldn't and wouldn't be to make sure they look nice and are seen doing nice, cute things together just so some lame Karen sitting in a dark, damp, mouldy room likes them. Karens will Karen on. So catering to Karen's sensibilities will never ever be part of the palace PR and crisis management strategy.

What I don't get is why were the British press baying for William and Catherine blood. From what's come out in the last 2 days, it seems that at least some journalists had an idea that this was a very serious matter. That it was absolutely not about W being an violent abuser or a cheater or Catherine wanting to look pretty, nor was it about KP staff giving up on W+C because they are secretive exasperating, inept bosses.

It was simply about a family trying to come to terms with a devastating news that was drastically going to affect the lives of all 5 of them for a long long time. It's something that you never plan for, no matter who you are.

Knowing that, why were they so cruel, so callus. Where was their sense of nationality or even simple human decency?

They stood by Catherine when she was wrong called a racist. So why did they not stand by her when she is going through the worst time of her life emotionally and physically?

They made a mountain out of a molehill, to the point that from a security POV the powers that be concluded that the best way to mitigate the security risk would be breach her emotional safety, to ensure her and his, physical safety. I truly think this was the #1 reason on the list of reasons why they disclosed it the way they did.

Old ask from March 24th.

Simple. It all boils down to whom the press declared their enemy.

When they were defending Kate over the racism claims, they were defending her from Meghan, UK's Public Enemy #1.

When the Waleses were dealing with Kate's health crisis, the press didn't do anything, and even joined in on the attacks, because Kensington Palace was the enemy since KP refused to give updates on or access to Kate, which the press didn't like. So they stood by and piled on.

[kabie-whump]

OK I'M SORRY I JUST GOT THIS IDEA

what if at some point Athos decided to punish Ventis with a drug that makes him PAINFULLY aware of all that's happening, in contrast with the way the nighspill makes him numb?

It's okay if you don't write it, I just needed to share it

(I'm sorry if my english is bad, it's not my first language)

ooo I just got back from vacation and I am thrilled to see this in my inbox! This is a very fun idea! Also I love it so much when people talk to me about my stories.

Decided to do a little bit of writing from Athos's POV, just to shake things up a bit.

// Non-explicit rape/non-con, forced drug use, sensory play (hot wax, ice), burning, bondage

~~~

Athos was getting bored.

The intimate moments he shared with his dear, sweet Ventis were pleasurable every time, sure. The genasi was good at what he did, even while he was dazed out of his mind off nightspill. But still, Athos couldn't help but wonder if there could be more.

Yes, Athos could do whatever he wanted to Ventis without worry of him putting up a fight. He did an amazing job lying there, making just enough noise to keep his master entertained, but there was never any enthusiasm on his part. It was all an act, a display in the form of soft moans and fists clenched in blankets, but there had been the occasional moment where he slipped and Athos could see the true numbness behind his eyes - the way he fought to stay awake.

Sometimes Athos found himself wishing Ventis would put up a fight, would show any indication that the things his master did to him genuinely made him feel something other than boredom.

It was the nightspill's fault. It kept Ventis calm, but it turned him into more of a mindless doll than anything else. Athos considered withholding the drug for a day, just to see what it would be like to use him without it, but he knew it wouldn't have the desired outcome. Ventis would be too distracted by the withdrawals to care about anything else.

Besides, Athos only trusted magic suppression cuffs so far, and he did not want to risk being shocked the second he touched Ventis. It would ruin the mood.

Athos needed to make him feel things, without taking away his nightspill.

The solution he came to was simple, really.

More drugs.

It took some research and some mingling with sketchier characters down by the docks, but eventually Athos managed to obtain a substance that should do the trick. It was meant to counteract the nightspill, to make Ventis feel everything.

And feel everything he did.

It was fun to watch it kick in, to see pretty purple eyes blinking hard, pupils shrinking to pinpricks.

"There you are," Athos whispered, his fingers brushing along Ventis's sharp cheekbone.

Ventis jumped, the hairs on his arms standing upright at that one little touch.

"Hm. This'll be fun."

He'd ended up having to tie the boy down. Apparently he just didn't know how to hold still when he could actually feel what was happening to him, and Athos had tired of struggling to pin him to the bed and dragging him back into place every time he made a weak attempt to crawl away.

This was so different from what he had become used to over the last year or so. Athos had always loved the sight of his pet lying still under him, eyes half closed, all sleepy and dazed as he took what he was given.

But this?

Unmatched.

Athos watched with a grin as Ventis's body arched against the ropes, his lithe muscles straining. The blindfold over his eyes was soaking wet, standing out a stark silky red against his pale blue skin.

It wasn't sex anymore. Athos had tired of that some time ago and had since moved on to other little experiments - other ways to play with his slave in the hours before the drug wore off.

"Stop!" Ventis wailed as the light of a match flickered against his heaving stomach. "Please!"

Athos chuckled. He'd never heard Ventis be this loud and demanding before.

"That's perfect, treasure," Athos said softly, pulling the flame away for a moment before lowering it onto Ventis's skin once more. "You're doing very well."

"Please-" his voice broke on a relieved sob as the match was extinguished. "Please, no more."

"But you sound so pretty, darling. I never get to hear you like this."

Ventis's chest shuddered as he tried to regain control over his gasping breaths. His skin was covered in droplets of water and wax and little purple burns, all remnants of the sensory experiments Athos had conducted on him. His perfect face glistened with tears and drool.

"W-What did I do? Please, Master. I don't- ah!"

As Ventis babbled on, Athos dipped his fingers into the cold glass bowl on the bedside table, fishing out a fresh ice cube. He pressed its smooth surface to the freshest burn, watching with fascination as his whole body broke out into shivers. 

"Aw, so sensitive. We should do this more often."

~~~

@scp-1296 @sapphicccici @acer-gaysimpstuff @morning-star-whump @yeetmyskeet

@sleepyiswhumping @bitchaknso @unicornbeck @wounds-seen-and-unseen @3-2-whump

@looptheloup @lindsay00000008 @rainydaywhump

[heartnosekid]

well, friends. i’m sure a good lot of you have seen this post. i was denied today. i have to contact a lawyer and i don't even know how to begin advocating for myself outside of simply contacting the firm an ex-friend of mine used to obtain disability.

if you would rather not read the whole vent, i completely understand. but if you would still like to provide answers or support to me, here are my main issues.

i need advice from others who have been denied disability and have gone through a lawyer to obtain it. i need advice on what to do about getting started with victim advocacy. that's about it, i reckon. i love you all. my dm's are open. you will be blocked if you clown.

and yes, i realize my stim blog is not the place to talk about this. i understand, but this is my largest audience and i feel i would be a fool to not post this somewhere it may be actually received.

tw for mental health talk / long vent under the cut, particularly of the despairing kind, and also mentions of CSA / CSAM, psychosis, and my general disabilities. if this post needs more trigger tags, please let me know and i'll add them.

my whole life i have been treated as if i am not struggling because i can do the bare minimum to keep myself alive. i can survive, but never thrive, and even surviving now has become difficult. i can't feed myself regularly, my guardians do that for me. i can't stand for longer than a few minutes at a time without extreme duress and pain, which makes cleaning, showering, and going out super difficult and beyond draining. i can understand abstract concepts and certain ideas and am emotionally intelligent, but i struggle heavily with understanding money or how government works, particularly when it comes to laws and loopholes. i don't know when i'm "being had", as it were, and others have pointed this out to me throughout my adulthood. it feels as though this entire disability journey has been me "being had". they gave me something to cling on to, the possibility i may be able to receive real help, and it seems as though they basically knew the whole time they were going to deny me again. for the fourth time. i know that is unrealistic but, it does feel that way.

i wrote several full length books when i was a child / young teenager, and had two published. i won't share the titles because i have outgrown what i wrote and find them childish and frankly embarrassing, but everyone upon learning that i have written and had novels published, immediately jumps to the conclusion that i am some kind of self-sufficient, incredibly intelligent and capable person. i have never once been able to effectively take care of myself. without my guardians, i wouldn't be able to manage money, insurance, bills, cars, groceries, among other things. i don't even halfway understand how insurance on anything even works despite having been shown how it works.

i can see something, be "taught" to the best of someone's ability, and i will still not be able to learn. this has been a constant issue throughout my life, and the american public school system has continually helped these issues perpetuate. all schooling has done is teach me how to parrot back concepts and ideas, remember them for a limited amount of time before losing them to the void, and not how to fundamentally understand and learn them or utilize them in daily life. even higher education was like this, and i was not able to thrive throughout my experience with college despite making mostly okay grades (i cheated and lied a lot, okay. i'm not proud of it but i felt i had to get through or i would be severely punished). i had to a sign an agreement that i personally still do not fully understand to "obtain" my associate's degree, and i do not know why despite the fact it was explained to me, in detail. the information has not registered, and i now no longer have anyone that was involved in said agreement to explain it to me. everyone i say this to is like, "what? that doesn't make any sense." and i'm like. yeah. it doesn't, and i have zero ability to explain it to them in a way that makes sense.

i mention my associate's degree because i am sure in some form or fashion it was used against me in the disability process, since i was "able to complete higher education". also it should be noted i did an early college program. also probably has been used against me. also cheated through most of it.

people have always considered my kind of autism to be hyper competent, since it appeared that way when i was a child, despite showing several signs that i was struggling with a math-centric learning disability, called dyscalculia. i have since deteriorated to the point of barely having the knowledge a young adult should have, about how life works financially and honestly in general.

i have extreme fear about what may happen to me without proper assistance. my guardians will be able to take care of me for some time, but after that? that feels like a black hole to me. it doesn't exist nor will it while i am under-assisted, and this black hole fills me with utter despair. i try not to let it permeate my daily life, so as to not dwell in a future that doesn't exist yet and has the possibility for change. but god. it fills me with literal existential dread, and it is becoming so much more difficult to ignore the older i get.

a lot of factors have been used against me my entire life to deny me assistance, and these reasons being yet another factor has really dredged up a lot of shit from my past.

this is besides the point, but i also learned recently that CSAM was made and distributed of me when i was a child and wow. that has hit me in ways i cannot even describe. part of me is like, why was i not allowed to know after the fact, even when i became an adult? i was directly involved. why did no one tell me my abuser was convicted for counts of spreading CSAM, and that they lied directly to the court system about their inappropriate actions with me? i was disenfranchised in more ways than one by more than one person on allowance of my abuser, and i am just now hearing about it. i don't know how to deal and i don't know how to get started with victim advocacy in my area.

but at the same time, whilst being treated as severely more competent than i am, i have also been infantilized relentlessly, by nearly everyone around me. how does this make any sense. i feel incredibly stupid and uninformed and at the same time privy to things about my disabilities others are not, while not being able to effectively communicate it. i feel i am screaming and begging for help, nearly at my wits end with a lot of things, and all of it is reading as "owie booboo" to anyone who could do anything to help. i feel i am falling through the cracks, and i fear having to crawl back up through them. i fear i won't make the trek. i fear i will lose motivation and let myself rot. it feels like no one in a position of power has taken a true effort to really help me and i cannot help or advocate for myself. i am very scared.

on top of all of that stuff, i am withdrawing pretty heavily from cymbalta, experiencing heightened panic attacks every day, PNES (psychogenic non-epileptic seizures), more episodes of psychosis and hallucinating than i'm used to, all of my mental and physical issues are out of control, and now this disability stuff. i also won't be able to see a psychiatrist for...maybe a week or so more, so no bridge meds till then.

these last couple weeks have just really kicked me down. thank you for reading if you got this far. i appreciate you more than you know and i have no idea where i would be without y'all and this blog. i love you all so very much.

-ish

[dontmeantobepoliticalbut]

Early Saturday, I read about how Donald Trump’s supporters are already preparing to contest the outcome of the 2024 election if their candidate does not win.

A few hours later came the news bulletin of a shooting in which Trump was injured.

After watching CNN for a while, I flipped to Fox News. The difference in the coverage was striking. CNN was strictly factual — which of course meant repeating vague generalities while waiting for more facts to emerge.

Not Fox. Nor the majority of the media, now dominated by the right wing.

Quickly, Fox had a former police officer on, calling for “transparency” in any investigation, and warning Attorney General Merrick Garland, with no basis at all, not to pull any hanky-panky.

It was also full of various commentators stating, one after another, that people need to tone down the rhetoric, and that America has no place for political violence.

I was flabbergasted. The only mass political violence in America had been January 6, stoked by Trump, other Republicans, and Fox News. Most of the aggressive rhetoric in this country has come from the same crowd.

At a time when circumspection and restraint are needed the most, the choric chant that the problem rests with others — meaning the Democrats — was as galling as it was predictable.

Underlining this instant politicization were a man and a woman at the Trump rally in Butler, PA, flipping their middle fingers at CNN’s camera within seconds of the shooting.

The current frenzy is all based, it should be underlined, on the act of a single individual — a registered Republican. Somehow, this is now to be used to tar and intimidate all Americans who legitimately and thoughtfully question Trump and his motives.

And, just as predictably, one Fox talking head said that this is what happens in a country with “godlessness” — without anyone mentioning that this could not happen in a country with “gunlessness,” since Trump and his allies are thrilled that practically anyone can obtain a murder weapon and unlimited ammunition. (Some perspective on hate, violence, and guns: From 1990 to the present, according to official statistics, far-right extremists have killed more than 520 people — while far-left extremists have killed 78 people. For more data, go here, here, here.)

And, while decrying division in the country and calling for toning things down, the Fox folks continuously referred to Trump as “President Trump” or “the President,” as in “the President is fine,” yet I heard a “newsperson” referring to the actual president simply as “Biden.”

In other words, at Fox they are working to create more division and animosity, still stoking the stolen-election lie, and setting the stage for more discord and potential violence.

I doubt we will hear much candor on the irony of all this. We will see plenty of “The Photo”: the blood-streaked face of the brave, wounded, defiant victim-hero. Fox and its Republican allies will successfully milk this for all it is worth, their base will in their own minds decide that the Democrats are somehow to blame, and the major media and Democrats will have no idea how to combat this nonsense.

All this will almost certainly redound to Trump’s advantage at a time when everything is already cutting his way.

That’s where we are with less than four months until the presidential election. To tweak a Trumpian favorite: GOD HELP AMERICA.

[pebiejeebies]

Uhh weird chat abt why I think nickel’s apology was sketchy

NICKEL.. wasn’t the one who said sorry.

AND BEFORE YOU SCREAM AT MY FACE ANYTHING LET ME SPEAK!! I HAVE A REASON!

let’s talk about clover.

remember an/some episode(s) ago when nickel went on a therapy session with clover? Right?

she told him to rethink his whole life right??

NICKEL DIDNT RETHINK HIS LIFE. CLOVER DID.

It was all clover. Think about it

she’s lucky. She gets whatever she wants because of it too.

if she WANTS nickel to be friends with balloon, she will WISH that he becomes friends with him.

WHICH MEANS. there’s a high chance this whole apology was all just clover’s luck

we’ve seen how that stupid box was forced to do something it mentally/physically couldn’t. And it ended up doing what clover wanted (or at least keep her safe)

think about it. One episode, therapy with clover, next episode? Magically becomes the most nicest man ever and supports balloon while giving him his own space.

His apology felt so off, at first I was like YOOOO NICKLOON!! But in reality it was all clover, it’s just so off to me man.. maybe I just hate nickel or smth

But really think about it, there’s no way ANY person or object would do a full mental switch up THIS EASILY?! I took YEARS to stop abusing my sisters mentally and physically. There’s no way a fucking month will change him this quick. TRUST. ME.

I was as horrible as nickel and even worse too, it took years of struggle and patience to obtain what I have today! But nickel? NICKEL? NICKEL?!?! makes the luck do it all for him.

and that made me so fucking angry. you made me question myself and why I took so long to change, you are making other people think change is THAT EASY. you PEICE OF SHIT. (Not you dw, I mean AE)

Literally to the point I feel like nickel was like some sort of puppet or smth

Clover: do this

Nickel: alright

AND EVEN WHEN HE DOES IT ISNT EVEN HIS FUCKING CHOICE. IT ISNT. ITS HER LUCK. NOT NICKEL. now nickel feels like he fucking achieved something, when it was all clover.

LIKE COME ON. you made the fandom happy over something that could potentially be a lie?? There’s no way he magically becomes all cute and sweet and STAYS like that after her luck goes away. There’s just no way.

and ofc it had to be clover, it was all just to say “Oh he changed so quick because of—“ EXACTLY. they are cowards. they don’t wanna make the character slowly struggle and try to get better

they wanna get to the point and that’s it

so everyone goes WOAHHHH NICKLOON!! YAYY!! (no hate to the nickloon shippers btw) without taking so long, because they don’t know how to write any characters without some big flaw

So let’s just make clover “help” him!! Cause she’s lucky!! Yay!! And he can just change in a day or two!1 YAYY!!!/s

HERES ANOTHER POINT TOO. SHE CAME OUT OF THE FUCKING BLUE IN THAT EPISODE. “oh I just wanted to be a detective” yeah sure ae. Sureee… sure thing mf. Just solve one fucking word puzzle game and call yourself a detective. Idiots. (Again, pointed towards ae)

take a moment and think about this. Because maybe I’m just wrong, I’m usually wrong anyways. I just need to know I can’t be the only one who thinks that clover was the one who apologized, not nickel.

But for once I feel like I’m right about this, and if I am.. AE im fucking onto you. You fucking cowards.

(and before you ask, no. I’m not okay. I hate how they made me question myself. And I hate how they’re saying it’s so easy to change, and I hate how they’re so lazy about someone’s personality shift)

I don’t hate the animators. I don’t hate the storyboarders, I don’t hate the voice actors, I don’t hate ANYONE in ae. EXCEPT these fucking writers. There are so many better writers out there with ACTUAL ideas and ACTUAL talent, and experience and so much more about life and personality.

even I can write better characters without even planning it out. Imagine. Skill issue fr.

Please note that this isn’t targeted to you either, your opinion on this is valid, so is mine. Let’s keep this chat friendly though.

[not-so-lost-after-all]

There Are Worse Things I Could Do

This little thing is inspired by Dicken's A Christmas Carol and visions of the past, the present and the future - all of them dark. After all, a romance with Astarion can go so horribly, horribly wrong...

Warnings: Nothing major, I believe. Canon appropriate violence and angst.

Word count: 3000

---

It's pouring cold, almost freezing rain the whole afternoon and the day is dark and gloomy, so everyone retreats to their tents. They all have their own things to ponder, after all, as they're getting closer and closer to the city. Esipre is bone tired, as it seems she has nothing to show for her troubles except for the pile of corpses. Her companions put so much faith in her but ask so few questions. Perhaps she should run, it's still time...

She's observant and that was what actually more often than not made her the leader of whatever group she was part of - that doesn't mean she decided it's essential to keep them all alive. Take Astarion for example. It would be so easy to make him do her bidding, everytime, all it takes is a gentle push.

And yet... she treated him with kindness, like a feral cat who is most certainly won over through food and warm touch. She was a fool. They both were. During their first night in the forest, she was drunk but the second time she realized he was just going through the motions he did countless times before. Squeezing her nipple, then kissing her neck, his learned moans of pleasure. He had to do all kinds of work for his old master, Esipre gathered. She tried to please him too, as she learned during her short time at one brothel, and now she has to bitterly laugh about what they both were doing. Surely he must have noticed too but neither of them spoke about it.

When she offered him her blood on the fourth day in the Shadow-cursed Lands because she couldn't stand the thought of him starving, he gave her one surprisingly soft look and quietly thanked her. Esipre did it two more times and each time it took a bigger toll on her. Her fingers were randomly going numb, her mind hazy and the bite marks took longer to heal. Her vampire had the hilarious idea of offering her sex again.

"Oh please, be serious for a moment," she said sternly. "Don't insult my intelligence. Or yours. I'm not even what you want. Go flirt with Wyll or talk to Lae'zel about Soně glorious slaughter."

That wretched land was behind them but even almost a tenday later she mostly avoids him. She looks at her still unnaturally cold fingers and sighs. Perhaps it's been a mistake after all. She doesn't need distraction anymore, she needs to focus. Maybe they are both broken but some broken things are just too sharp. Perhaps he's a broken piece too but from a different puzzle.

Esipre is still standing in the entrance of her tent, watching the dark sky as the raindrops slowly turn into unexpected snow flakes. Then she notices her vampire eying her from across the camp, silently asking for her invitation. She quickly ponders it, then nods gently. Dammit, she can't ignore him forever.

Inside her tent, she is greeted by the silver light of the moonlanter. Esipre immediately notices two ripe red apples on her bedroll. There's also something artistically arranged lying under the apples - a beautiful wine red shawl embroidered with black thread. She kneels and takes the fabric in her hands with stupid smile on her face.

"You like it?" Astarion is kneeling right next her without her even noticing. And to her amusement, he grins like a proud cat.

"Of course. Was there crime involved while obtaining this beauty?"

"Ah. Maybe a little crime but nothing you should bother your lovely head with, darling." He grows more serious and suddenly seems to avoid her eyes. "You're almost as pale as I am and I can't exactly give you any warmth. Thought this could be a gift you wouldn't refuse. I don't want to lose my favorite food, you know."

Esipre presses the shawl to her chest, accepting it. No matter how impossible or annoying or irritating he can be, he's the first one who made her feel something so strongly in decades.

"It's alright when it's with you, my bloodthirsty friend," she says warmly. "Tomorrow you'll have the chance to rip throats again and leave my blood for the battlefield again. But thank you anyway." She feels a faint blush in her cheeks. She hasn't received any gifts since she was a child.

Astarion opens his mouth to say something but changes his mind. Instead he just takes her hand and kisses her knuckles. Then he brushes his lips over the soft skin on her wrist but Esipre doesn't even flinch.

They end up lying under two blankets although they have nothing to really offer to each other right now. It's foolish, she thinks, but she always turns to him like a moth to the fire.

The parasite behind her eye is especially restless tonight, probably getting upset that she hasn't used its power enough recently. As she's half asleep with a headache, the snowflakes are starting their silent dance in the darkness outside.

---

The first vision is from her past. Esipre feels the presence of her dream guardian in her mind. He looks and sounds like her noble father and the irony isn't lost on her. Papa never protected and in her head she knows that but she's always been bothered by her treacherous heart and her heart can't accept the truth.

It's still cold outside and it's snowing. Her body is her own but she's twelve years old. A pitiful dirty thing still dressed partly in her silky dress. Her mother tried to bribe her nurse to poison Esipre three nights ago and since then the girl has tried to ask family friends for protection. Her father sent a word, surely. But they all refused to shield her, this evening she visited the last person from her past.

Her heart is sinking and all she wants to do is to cry but she already knows that a crying girl on a dark street would meet the same fate as a noisy baby bird fallen out of its nest.

Suddenly there are two men moving across the street's corner. One of them is a heavily drunk human with tanned skin who can barely speak or walk. The other one is visibly much more collected silver haired elf. "Sure, sure, darling, let's hurry," says the elf impatiently and tries to push the human. It's enough for the other man to fall. "Fuck!" The elf kicks him in frustration but Esipre also senses some desperation in his voice.

Then he notices her and inclines his head. There's no warmth in his unsettling red eyes, nor his cruel smile. "Hello, little bird." She is preparing her muscles to run.

Her adult mind already knows how it's going to go. He's going to offer her some food and she's going to take the hook. Her child mind is scared and hungry and already ready to give up because she's weak and she knows it, everyone takes a look at her and knows it. Just a clueless lost girl standing there in the winter's night.

The elf takes her to the palace where she has her last meal with the man whose name her father mentioned several times in disgust before. Lord Szaar. He simply watches her, bemused, before suddenly taking her hand and piercing her wrist. She cries in pain and tries to free herself, kicking, screaming. Cazador Szaar just laughs at her feeble attempts, taking gulp after gulp. In the end, her cries turn into whimpers and her limbs go numb - it's like freezing to death on the street…

Except none of that happened. The elf with the silver curls grunts and grabs the lying human by the hand, roughly sweeping the pavement with his back. Espre runs to hide. Weak, helpless.

It doesn't  have to be this way, you know she hears the voice of her guardian in her head.

---

The next vision is quick and brutal.

She sees Astarion and his fangs above her neck and quickly pushes him away. She doesn't think, only acts on instinct, and they're both equally shocked when she plunges a wooden stick into his chest.

Esipre is sprayed with his thick blood and she thinks she'll never forget the look of betrayal he gives her when he's falling to his knees. "I'm sorry," she mutters. She's confused and angry - at him, at herself?

But no, he indeed is a vampire just as she suspected. Vampires do have the eyes of a wolf. Even their hearts are that of a wolf. Their beauty is just a sign of their sickness - the lack of a soul.

She leaves with the others in the morning, leaving his dead body behind. If any of them bothered to connect with his tadpole, they would know. Only Esipre tries, about an hour after they continue on their way. That vampire isn't really dead, just paralyzed. Not that it matters because like all the others, even his tadpole decides to leave when he's of no further use. He feels it crawling out of his eye socket and it makes his stomach turn. Hers too.

When his parasite is finally gone, his skins starts to burn and turn to ash and all he can do is to scream in his head. At the back of his mind, there's an insane laughter that at least he's dying free. His last thought is of the home with green doors from his childhood and the gulls over the stormy sea.

-That was empowering and felt good, no?

-No, it honestly was a bit… pathetic.

Esipre senses a wave of frustration from her guardian, she' lightheaded and everything goes black.

---

"I could have killed you, you bloody fool!"

And yet, when he boldly asks her to give him her blood freely, she relents, trusting that he's not foolish enough to harm her.

His fangs are like shards of ice into her neck and she grits her teeth. That's what she gets for her compassion but oh well, a bit of her blood is far more important for him than for her. Her pulse quickens and her heart is racing as it must pump her blood into two bodies now.

"Enough," Esipre says sharply when her mind becomes hazy.

But he doesn't stop, perhaps he even can't anymore. She tries to raise her rand but it's already too heavy, so heavy that Esipre just brushes the vampire's shoulder. Astarion pins her down and bites deeper into her neck.

"Astarion!" She tries to shout to wake the others but only some low screeching escapes her mouth. "You bastard..." Her voice is barely above a whisper. In the end, her death isn't painful, it's like falling into a dark cold lake and descending slowly to the bottom.

Her spirit lingers in the material world for some time out of spite. In the morning, Astarion is long gone. The others are bickering and almost leave her body just lying there but Wyll, bless his heart, volunteers to dig a shallow grave for her. It's actually Gale who saves the day by sacrificing himself. She has nothing to do with their victory, oh no.

As for Astarion, he's tortured to death by the Gur and later resurrected by his master only to be sacrificed in some hellish ritual. Used and discarded as always. If her soul wasn't on its way to the hells because she never got the chance to redeem herself, she would have felt a slightest glimmer of pity for him.

So this is what you prefer? Remember I tried to warn you every step of the way.

---

The next vision follows and this time there's nothing familiar about it. Surely it must be the future? It's all so confusing. The dim red light and the glass windows are strange and so is the feeling.

She took the power, for him and for herself. That much she is sure of.

Her lungs aren't working and when she tries, she remembers her last breath, then the quick torturous bang of her heart and... silence. It did hurt but the thought of him blatantly lying to her and that it's just the beginning? It hurt even more.

Months turned into years and years into decades. This was a moment to celebrate the death of duke Ravengard - a name that somehow ring a bell - and Astarion ordered that everyone should be merry. Did he order the murder of the duke too? Many things he just doesn't tell.

This celebration at the palace is one of hundreds she has attended, it was still the same on repeat. An eternity of fucking strangers in increasingly "creative" ways and watching him do the same (she vaguely remembered he thought himself a whore or was that just another trick of her mind so her delusions aren't shattered?). Of ever more unhinged bloody games. Of forcing people to pretend to love you. She blames herself for that. Now she understands that Astarion holds it against her too.

She was his first and favorite pet and perhaps if she thought clearly in that moment once upon time, she would understand that some people would find this existence a blessing but not her. Why are there scars made by a silver dagger on her hands and breasts like some mark of ownership when she's supposed to be powerful?

Esipre squeezes the hand of her lord and smiles at him like so many times before. Smiles as she's picturing the last words she's ever going to tell him before killing him tonight and taking his place. But of course he doesn't sense it, he's looking right through her.

All that time she is thinking: "Can you really see me now? Don't I remind you of someone? Someone you killed?

---

In her mind, she is yelling at her guardian. 

Enough! You advise me to take power? I will give you more than you bargained for!

Esipre is viciously pushing and kicking him in her head with all the power her tadpole is giving her and surprisingly, she is able to show him what she likes instead.

So she actually did that. She is the Absolute. Sitting on some goddamned throne in a dark massive room that resembles a temple. Everything she deserves for the life stolen from her and lost decades - Astarion would be proud. And he is standing next to her with hand on her shoulder. She helped him to ascend and Esipre still remembers his smile when she took the power, accepting her as his equal. And she is a benevolent ruler who only punishes those who don't understand her vision. 

What she sees should stop here. But Esipre knows that would be a lie. In the future, she turns her head to her consort and Astarion smiles at her with that smile they both know is fake. She now knows that she compelled all of her friends. Compelled him too and when digging deep enough into his mind, she finds out that she broke whatever was left of his heart and his soul. She gave him hope, gave him power, only to replace his former master - and this time there are no illithids to save him. Telling him he can say no but she is doing so with a wicked smile. Astarion is still performing - he knows it and knows she knows and she knows he knows that too. And sometimes when she looks over her shoulder and the curtain is down, his face and eyes are unmoving and dead tired. Like a man who got his second chance and ruined that one just as surely.

The giant hall is empty except the two of them - or so she thought. A bright lightning from one of the balconies hits her right side and strikes her down. Her body feels like burning as she's lying on the stone floor. HELP ME! She orders Astarion.

She senses no resistance from him, of course, and as she turns her head in his direction when he's not coming to her rescue, she sees him chained by his hand to the leg of her throne. The handcuffs are made of silver and he's struggling against them as they're burning his flesh. Astarion can't touch them, of course, only let them burn through his hand. But by then, she'll be long dead. 

He is complicit in all this, she realizes immediately. Even in her pain, she can't help but nod to him with respect. As she loses consciousness, she can hear him laughing. The last thing she sees is him glancing at the night sky and its stars through the glass ceiling. “Make a wish,” he laughs. He laughs until he cries…

Esipre is in the dark again and her visitor is no longer with her. Before the connection is no longer here, she can catch a glimpse of yet another visions. She dies grey haired and wrinkled in the arms of her vampire and asks him to forgive her for failing him. She still prefers this vision. Then she sees herself dying in a pool of blood hand in hand with Astarion after what she suspects was an ambush. His eyes are not ruby red but emerald green. It is alright though, as this is still several centuries into the future…

She is half conscious and aware that she's sleeping in her tent, feeling cold tears in the corners of her eyes. 

---

To her surprise, Astarion stayed with her the whole night for the first time. “Morning, sweetheart. It was an uneasy night, I suppose?”

“Just some nightmares.” Her heart is not so heavy just looking at him. “And it made the things I want a little bit more clear.”

By the sunrise the thin layer of snow outside has already melted. During the day she notices Astarion giving her some sort of guilty look.

“Do you have a moment?” is the first thing he tells her after everyone else went to sleep.

There's this strange vulnerability in his expression and Esipre already knows that whatever he's about to say, she's going to listen with an open mind.

Tagged:

@spacebarbarianweird

@lirotation

[fansids]

Alright, I gotta lotta thoughts on s4, but this is the main thing I'm not particularly happy with.

It's not very organized, I'm writing as I'm thinking so I apologize beforehand.

Spoilers obvi.

I really don't appreciate how Sun Wukong's character has been treated up until this point.

Look, I don't mind the "perfect, heroic mentor is actually not always so perfect and heroic and made mistakes that are still effecting the world now" like fine. Fine. But the way the show goes about it makes SWK look like a worse and worse person. It crosses the line of him making mistakes, to just being generally careless and not learning.

I mean: leaving Xiaotian in s2 and inadvertently neglecting him in the process, keeping the 4th ring a secret in s3 until it's too late, being the reason there was a fourth ring to begin with, the whole Macaque thing that the show seems to be leaning more towards SWK being in the wrong for, and his whole deal with his sworn brothers in s4.

It was already irritating in season 3, especially when he's shown to get yelled at by Xiaotian & Zhu Dachu then continues his usual way, often being unhelpful. I get that Xiaotian is the mc, but like c'mon. SWK is depowered, there are like a million ways to sideline him without doing that.

Season 4 is especially egregious as someone who's read jttw because the Lion, Elephant, and Peng are all terrible villains who spent a good amount of their time eating innocent people. I'm not sure why the show especially seems to be insistent on making the Azure Lion sympathetic and one that feels bad for trapping SWK...then again Macaque exists. You know what no, I don't see why they are insistent on doing that when Macaque exists. He may be one too many times, but once was enough.

Jttw aside, if in Azure Lion's point of view SWK willingly betrayed them and all the "good" they stood for, then trapped his other brothers for thousands of years, and before that was happy to join heaven's courts for like 20-30 years, then I don't know why he'd ever show that level of concern for him. If that happened to me, it would be monkey season, straight up.

(also the fact that he said he'd let SWK go when they completed what they wanted to, I call absolute bullshit. Even if he did feel bad, releasing SWK at any point in time would be a god awful idea)

From what s4 has shown, I think what the show writers wanted to do was build a parallel between Xiaotian and SWK, both having made mistakes that endangered the world and their loved ones as well as Xiaotian learning that his hero is just as human (for lack of a better term) as him. But the execution is lacking as a lot of Xiaotian's mistakes are not really his fault.

DBK taking his staff? It's not like he handed it to him.

Spider Queen using his hair? Is he supposed to stop shedding?

Red Son getting the skeleton key? Again, it's not as if he handed it to him. Also, wouldn't that make it the Bull family's fault, since they opened the coffin?

It wasn't him being careless it was him losing 2 fights and a bit of his hair. Whereas with SWK, it's implied these things happened because he didn't think about the consequences of his actions. They don't really seem comparable.

Also, if you've read jttw (and even if you haven't, but I think the context makes it worse), then lmk SWK is a very miserable character right off the bat. As we can see, he never became a Buddha, his friends are heavily implied to be dead, there are no monkey yaoguai on the mountain, or even a nation anymore, implying that his subjects left, died, or both, and in the midst of all of this he has no support system. Nor does he ever seem to obtain one in the show.

And I think some of these issues could be remedied if he was given the opportunity to tell his side of the story. Everything wrong he does is seen told through the perspective of another person. Not to say they shouldn't be upset, but the fact that SWK just absorbs whatever blame is put on him, never really giving any fair defense doesn't sit right with me. It wouldn't change any of the things he's done, but it would make him a lot more understandable as a character, instead of him consistently being some form of a fuck up.

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

On your post about ex-Harvard president Gay-

This person cheated her way to the top. She took the place of someone who would actually be qualified. I’m certain Harvard has a no plagiarism policy, so she’s enforcing rules on people that she broke and benefited from.

Any other presidents who were/are found to commit the same violation should receive the same punishment.

When comments are made such as ‘this is meant to humble black women’ or that merit is an arbitrary standard, lowers the bar for the community as a whole. There are PLENTY of black women who are intelligent, strong leaders, highly qualified, etc, and she took that position from someone who worked for it and deserved it. To state racism as the reason for her stepping down implies that because she is a black woman, we have to overlook some merit items and academic violations. How is that not racist in itself? There are black women who can do the job competently without having cheated to get there and she took that spot from them. She is the ONLY person to blame for her downfall and to imply otherwise hurts people who could have succeeded in this role.

This is entirely correct.

They can't claim that "society is racist" as the reason Claudine Gay was dethroned, when that same society facilitated her rise in the first place. It's like thanking god for the good things but not blaming god for the bad things... only, sort of inverted.

One of the angry Tweets from Marc Lamont Hill was:

The next president of Harvard University MUST be a Black woman.

This is literally the same diversity-hire attitude that got Harvard into this mess in the first place.

But let's roll with this. How about Carol M. Swain? She's a black woman. She's one of the people Claudine Gay stole from, so if they liked Gay's "scholarship," what they actually liked incorporated Swain's ideas. Swain is also a conservative and a Xian, though. So, what are the chances? When they say "diversity," what they really mean is "ideological conformity."

Any other president would not have been so well insulated or protected. Bob Casten resigned as President of the University of South Carolina after remarks from one commencement speech he gave included plagiarized content.

https://edition.cnn.com/2021/05/14/us/plagiarism-commencement-speech-south-carolina/index.html

The resignation of University of South Carolina president Bob Caslen for plagiarizing remarks in a commencement speech is the most recent example of the awkwardness faced by educators and school leaders when higher-ups find inspiration in the wrong ways.

Caslen resigned from his position Wednesday after admitting his commencement speech plagiarized portions of a speech given by the former head of US Special Operations Command, retired Navy Adm. William McRaven.

“I was searching for words about resilience in adversity and when they were transcribed into the speech, I failed to ensure its attribution. I take full responsibility for this oversight,” Caslen wrote in a letter to students obtained by CNN affiliate WIS.

One speech. Not even scholarship. Not research. A single speech. Not only that, but he took responsibility. He said, the buck stops with me.

Harvard was still backing Gay when the total accusations was up to 40. And Gay's resignation letter demonstrates no responsibility, and only entitlement and deflection. If you've seen the Roland Fryer video, this is completely on brand for someone as corrupt as her.

She was't outsted because she's a black woman. She was protected because she's a black woman. This is the gaslighting that they do. Gay and Harvard are the villains. As you mentioned, she stole a prestigious position from someone else. Could have been a black woman, could have been a white man. Doesn't matter. She stole a position someone else was more qualified to take.

And Harvard facilitated this fraud. And it was fraud. It's literally academic fraud. There were murmurs in corridors for years about Gay's scholarship long before it was ever exposed. But Harvard didn't address it, and when they were pressured to in this most recent blow-up, they faked an "investigation" that found only minor issues with quotation marks. It seems much more like not only they knew, but actively facilitated it. It's extremely hard to believe that, given this goes all the way back to her dissertation, they were completely unaware of this pervasive fraud, and much more likely they were not only aware, but colluded.

Gay and Harvard are the villains. But this is the DARVO - Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender - that they do. You're supposed to feel guilty for noticing their malfeasance. You don't need to. And it's so blatant this time that I think this might even be a tipping point in some way. People are completely fed up with being manipulated. But that's "Diversity, Equity and Inclusion"'s entire game.

[babyrdie]

hcs about platonic relationships in trojan family?

I actually have some, but I'm only going to answer hcs with Paris because I already made a post that's kind of about that, so it makes the whole thing easier (it's in my pinned post).

I have a headcanon that Paris, being raised as a lower-class person with extraordinary beauty, became attached to beauty. Like everyone else, he worked under the sun and really couldn't afford to buy those Phoenician fabrics and expensive gold jewelry from the merchants, but the reality is that Paris didn't need to be adorned with jewels and colors to be considered beautiful. In a way, what was most impressive was how, despite the simple clothing, the often practical-tied hair, and the lack of adornment, Paris looked extremely beautiful.

Paris obviously noticed this. He couldn't help but care very much about this, something special he had that could give him some advantages. It was always so much easier to bargain for wool prices when he smiled sweetly and gently touched the seller's hand, everyone seemed so willing to accept his prices. Whether it was because they wanted him, or because people had a bad habit of assuming that beauty equated to goodness, or because they were too distracted admiring him.

However, he also became irritated by his beauty. It seemed ridiculous to him how the most he could obtain was a few simple advantages. In the end, Paris was still a shepherd like any other shepherd. And it's not that he hated what he did, but it was just that it was frustrating just being able to look at the beautiful merchandise without ever being able to have it for himself. At the same time that he was proud of being beautiful, he was irritated that his beauty ultimately couldn't really give him the things he wanted.

When he became a prince again, Paris suddenly had access to things he hadn't before. So many jewelry, so many quality fabrics. It seemed foolish and wasteful not to use as much as possible, even if anyone looking would believe he was pompous for it. No one, at least, would have the audacity to lie and claim that he looked anything other than fantastic. Perhaps he was beautiful as a warning to his fate after all. He was a prince in his own right and, like so many other princes out there, he would have an amazing life. He was destined for this, Aphrodite even promised him the most beautiful woman. He always knew there was something missing in his life, and now he would get it back.

Due to their different experiences, his relationship with his brothers and sisters was a bit complicated. After so many years of not seeing them, knowing that he was a shepherd while they grew up in wealth, it was impossible for Paris not to feel somewhat bitter about this. He didn't blame them for his life, of course, but he couldn't help but look at Helenus' soft hands and compare them to his rough, calloused, tanned hands from working in the fields. It was infuriating that beautiful Laodice looked so much like him, but her hair was clearly the kind that had been nourished her entire life with only the most precious things. But even though Priam and Hecuba were his parents, they didn't raise him and he couldn't trust that they wouldn't just abandon him again. Therefore, Paris has always made a point of appearing constantly content, to the point where he has been considered extremely carefree and easy to please by others.

His most complicated sibling relationships, in fact, were with Cassandra and Hector.

Cassandra looked at him so terrified when she saw him, anxiously playing with her own long, loose hair with trembling hands. It was as if she had seen a haunting, it was as if she was terrified at the idea of living in Troy where Paris was, as if she wished he had remained lost. He was told not to worry about Cassandra as she was crazy and nothing she said made any sense. She used to be a normal kid, but something happened and she suddenly changed, they explained. You shouldn't take her seriously, they said, after all, not even Helenus can believe her and he's a seer. Paris eventually realized, the few times he heard Cassandra speak (she seemed strangely irritated at the idea of speaking, like it was a waste of time. Maybe she was just repressed?), she really only said nonsense. It was impossible for anyone to believe her. And yet, Paris couldn't ignore how clearly she didn't want him there.

Hector was something more ambiguous. He seemed genuinely concerned and caring, the perfect big brother that he was and that Paris never thought he would have. But that was the problem: Hector was too perfect. The crown prince, his parents' favorite, a formidable warrior, was everyone's favorite brother and even the horses seemed to love him. As caring as he was, he cared too much about his values. This meant that, if he disapproved of an attitude, you would probably know because Hector had a moral duty to let you know. And, of course, he let Paris know everything about it.

Paris couldn't help that it was a bit hypocritical of Hector. A man like him, growing up as the favorite while Paris was left out, living in the luxury of royalty while Paris was a shepherd, wanting to teach lessons about vanity and how beauty and material possessions weren't everything seemed like a annoying joke. Hector never lived without being surrounded by these things, so who was he to say anything? Maybe he should give all his precious things to Paris and go live as a hermit in the forest then. What's more, Hector certainly took some pride in his abilities in himself. Why couldn't Paris have his own pride as well? For a long time, that's just what he had.

Laodice, at least, understood him in that. She was always so well dressed, enhancing her already remarkable natural beauty. And she was a sweet person, offering to teach Paris about aspects of royal fashion that he had never been taught before. It was no wonder that they were both so similar physically, it was because they knew how to appreciate what was given to them.

Troilus was sweet and accepting, so he was nice to everyone, which included Paris. He just thought it was cool to have a new big brother. But Paris couldn't help but think that he didn't really look like he was Priam's son, although he didn't question it because he didn't know if it was a sore point in the family (truth be told, he didn't know a lot about his family. Initially, it was like suddenly live among a bunch of strangers)

Helenus spent way too much time with Cassandra, so Paris kind of avoided him (because he avoided Cassandra. He didn't need to have her looking at him desperately, it was disconcerting) but for the most part he seemed okay. Paris tried to ask him about his future, but Helenus simply said that the power was not his, but Lord Apollo's, and he was simply given the opportunity to be a spokesman for the god. Therefore, Helenus couldn't choose what he saw, he could only see what Apollo allowed him. His choice was only whether he would share the visions of Apollo's blessing with anyone, and how he would share them. Paris expected Lord Apollo to share his bright future soon.

And of course there are others, but there are so many people in Troy, it would take forever to talk about. But yeah, it's noticeable that my Paris is a little bitter. I don't know, I like the contrast of a person who appears almost cartoonish being internally complex.

Anyway, be free to send others asks!

[jeveuxlamort]

Warning, rambling about the death note musical below i am mostly go on about my views on the english lyrics of the 2015 demo, and comparing them to my view of the japanese lyrics, so if anything I say contradicts newer changes, please let me know (also probably should have a general idea of how the musical is structured compared to the original story I realized afterwards I did not mention a ton of context)

(incredibly unstructured thoughts below)

on one hand, I adore the death note musical.

on the other hand, I abhor the english lyrics (yes I know the english version what technically created first) and how Light is characterized in “where is the justice”.

I wish his true motivation, boredom, had stayed the main focus of his motives, if they really wanted to they could have him say flowery things to the class and then have his actual motivations be mentioned, but they make it out like he has issues with the system? which he never really did? he latched the idea of ridding the world of crime (and in his eyes, evil) after he realized the death note worked, but he wasn’t someone who was actively challenging it before he got the death note (and imo he wasn’t really challenging anything after he got it). I personally hate the reasoning of “oh the motivation is different to fit with America” like?? a bored kid who is very gifted academically obtains supernatural powers and uses it to punish people he claims to be evil, can and does still work?? if they didn’t think it would work with America as a setting just have the musical still be set in Japan?? like Phantom of the Opera or Les Mis are performed in other countries that arent France but are obviously french?

ALSO hurricane is just… straight into murder mode without anything else from Light? nothing about the lyrics make me go “yes, this is actually light talking and this is his thought process after discovering the death note works” he goes straight into “I will use this power to rid the world of evil” instead of the moral conflict he had that led him into that thought process? he literally couldn’t handle the idea that he killed two men so he went “well actually they deserved it and I am the only person who could use this the right way” (dumbed down significantly but you get the point) just PLEASE I AM BEGGING FOR A LITTLE NUANCE THAT IS IN THE ORIGINAL STORY (and is in the japanese lyrics btw)

and (imo) L is also?? kinda off??? the english lyrics for “the game begins” just has generic lines that come across like “hey everyone, just so you know, im the detective, and I detect things, with my brain” like nothing about how he views kira, no personality to how things are said, just generic detective speak

(I personally prefer the japanese lyrics, which seem to draw a lot from his musings about kira, where he ultimately decides kira has to be human and cannot be a supernatural force. it just gives so much more insight into his thoughts than just explaining how a detective works)

(edit: also ties into “the unshakable/unwavering truth” and his shock at the existence of shinigami but still believing kira is human and separate from them)

also, why are so many of his lyrics 3rd wall breaks? why is that a thing? the first time it was amusing? but he does it so often??

misa and rem are pretty good overall, my only gripes are that the lyrics don’t feel like lyrics that can only make sense in the context of death note, if that makes sense? like, if you know what going on the lyrics will fit, but if you heard the songs outside of any knowledge of death note they just sound like generic songs that could have been written for anyone? (not just misa and rem’s songs but a few others as well) there are a couple of lines in each song that are more specific to the context, but I just wish they were further intertwined with the story

(again, the japanese lyrics are great with this)

overall, the english demo lyrics feel like a game of telephone where a lot of overall details were kept but other details/ideas were just brushed over and they filled in the blanks with what they thought fit with the story and went “eh, close enough”

(i do have thoughts on the other songs but i mostly just wanted to talk about L and Light atm)

[terrahlee-cup]

I’m just slowly adding more chapters to each of these because otherwise the number of notifications would be a lot lol @raphaelesbian

Foive (The sleep deprivation is invading the main posts more and more teehee)

Aw Donnie no 🥹 I get migraines and owwww. Just wanna… toss pain meds at him. Bonk.

Ah of course Raph can’t relax our boy is so wound up at this point. I do wonder how long Karai messing with the Foot will work. Any time she’s physically present for one of these things she risks being recaptured.

“maybe she just deserved some time without someone trying to hunt her down, friend or foe.” That is very sweet actually. Like, yes she’s still in danger, but she’s getting a bit to do her own thing. 

“If he was pissy when Raph escaped he was livid now that Karai was gone, too.” Yeah that tracks lol. Oh and he’s doing shit himself now that’s… niiiiiiice? Raph is not going to be okay if they actually have to fight him is he.

These kids need somewhere safe to chill where they can get away from each other for a bit. All of them are on edge and stuck in the same space that is never going to go well. “The Lair had become a pressure cooker, and Raph was about ready to burst.” This is not going to be pretty is it.

Lmao how the turn tables— please be careful bud. Aw they’re bonding! They’re so sleep deprived which same, but they’re bonding! Making dark jokes back and forth is a glorious bonding activity.

“They have the self-preservation skills of a group of lemmings.” The jumping off cliffs thing is a myth but- wait Raph’s a fucking lemming. He is THE SAME. FU-

“What if you weren’t alone?” Oh these little shits. You ALL have the self-preservation skills of lemmings. Like these two totally deserve to blow off some steam but I am NOT excited to see them possibly get caught again… anyway BIG SISTER BONDING THROUGH CRIME FUCK YEAH.

“And here I was already planning out the colors for our friendship bracelets.” *stares at a certain piece of fanart and loudly sips drink*

Seex (Hey remember that discord typo-)

Raph being too excited about causing problems to fight with his brothers I can’t lol- these two should never be allowed to go on missions alone.

Bradford hurt Mikey and Raph shall never forget. Good. Karai really said “how in the fuck are you doing that.”

“launder, like laundry?” I mean… close enough? I guess they’re technically washing it? Of the crime? Just not… normally. Um. Yeah close enough.

CRIMES WITH BIG SISTER FUCK YEAH part 2. These two are menaces I am so happy for them. Cause chaos children, go forth. Also MORE BONDING! They’re having so much fun they deserve this.

Sparring instead of committing more crime— yeah a break’s probably a good idea at this point. These two have been through so much recently so seeing them sort of give each other some room to breathe is so nice. They both need it so badly.

Sevan~

Karai gets to be a bad influence the chapter. The teenagers have obtained alcohol everyone, you have been warned. Also Karai, hun, he’d probably have had less intense of a reaction if you’d said what the mystery liquid was before drinking it <3

Raph drank way too much immediately because of course he did lmao. Karai’s “oh dear” reaction— see what you’ve done to him ma’am? His brain is soup. Soup! Stands up and immediately nope HELP-

I really like how these two’s relationship has built up to this point. They’re both a lot more blunt than Raph’s brothers, and it seems to be working in their favor for once. They’ve done a bit of ‘casual’ hanging out, but they also kinda just skipped to having important conversations that they probably both need. Also, these two feel older than the other turtles after everything. Karai just *is*, but the way Raph acts with her is different. I don’t entirely know how to put words to it? They’re being rebellious and doing stupid shit, sure, but it also seems like they’re actually working through things a bit. It’s not just screwing around for the sake of it. I dunno, they have ‘older siblings that are starting to need more of their own space’ vibes.