#(with of course a million disclaimers and question marks because i’m me)

[bohemian-rhapsody-in-blue]

For the ask game!

🏳️‍🌈

I got the notification and decided to send an ask before I forgot :3

Awww, thank you so much!!! I’m so honored :)

🏳️‍🌈 Are you a member of the LGBTQIA+ community?

Uh…kinda! Right now I identify as “asexual???????”, complete with all those question marks after it. I’m still in the process of figuring out my identity, but for now that’s what I tentatively feel comfortable with—and it is part of LGBTQIA+!

Thanks again for the ask!

[~💖 Ask Game 💖~]

[starryeyedweeb]

Valentine’s Day with BNHA

A/N: I know it’s late for Valentine’s Day, but this is about the fifth time I’ve tried posting this because every other time it never got a single note even though all of my other stuff does pretty well??? So not to be that person, but if you see this I’m begging you to give it some love because it’s one of my favorites!

*DISCLAIMER*: As I’m over eighteen, I write all underaged characters aged up to be eighteen or older.

Contains: As always, sickly-sweet fluff; gender-neutral

Characters Included: Todoroki Shoto, Bakugou Katsuki, Yaoyorozu Momo, Shigaraki Tomura, Dabi/Todoroki Touya, Aizawa Shota

Valentine’s Day with...

Bakugou Katsuki

As expected, Bakugou thinks that Valentine’s Day is kind of ridiculous and isn’t too keen on celebrating

When his friends ask him what he’s planned for the holiday, it results in a bit of a rant

“Valentine’s is a shitty holiday for shitty partners to try and make up for being shitty. I take them on dates and spoil them all the time, so why should I make a big deal about a random day in February?”

But because he wasn’t a shitty partner, he knows he has to do something for you

“Oi, do you want to go hiking?” he asks shortly on Valentine’s morning, already dressed for the occasion. “We can go to that spot you’ve wanted see for a while.”

You agree- eagerly.

You honestly weren’t the biggest fan of hiking until you started dating Bakugou, who’s obsessed with it

It’s like meditation to him- one of the best ways for him to find a calm and clear mindset- and the two of you always have your best conversations when you’re out on a hike

Plus he looks amazing in his hiking clothes

The trail in question is further outside the city than most, and when you arrive, it’s pleasantly deserted

With backpacks swung over your shoulders, the two of you start down the rough path, which cuts through a thick forest

When you first started hiking, you could barely keep up with Bakugou, but you had gotten much better at it over time and are now able to comfortably keep pace with him, even holding his hand part of the time

The trail is mainly uphill, though, and periodically he will all but force a water bottle into your hands

“Get a drink. I don’t want you getting all dehydrated on me.”

When you reach the peak of the trail, which is a flat clearing overlooking the city below, Bakugou indicates for you to sit down and pulls out two bento boxes that he had packed prior to the event

Though there’s nothing heart-shaped nor unnaturally red or pink inside, the box is sweetly filled with all of your favorite bento foods

And of course, they all taste amazing

“Katsuki, this is so good!”

“I know.”

“Come on.” You playfully push his arm, feeling his muscles rippling beneath his jacket. “Seriously, though, thank you. Life has been so crazy lately, and this little break was perfect.”

“So you’re not upset we didn’t do anything more, I don’t know...” he trails off, furrowing his brow and running a hand through his hair, “...on theme?”

“Of course not. Stuff like that is for shitty partners who use a holiday as an excuse to make up for being shitty. They’ll go right back to their behavior the moment the day is over.” You interlace your fingers in his and hold his arm with your free hand. “This was perfect.”

Bakugou can’t resist a smirk and short chuckle at your sentiment, realizing exactly why he’s with you

“Hey, what’s that look for?”

“Nothing.” He shakes his head. “Kiss.”

You reach up and press your lips to his, and his arms wrap around your body, holding you close

When you pull away, you cast a glance out at the tranquil cityscape below and reluctantly check the time.

“Do you think we should head back down?” you ask.

“No. I want to stay here a little while longer.”

Todoroki Shoto

As one of the top heroes, Todoroki Shoto is a hard man to get alone, but you have high hopes for Valentine’s Day.

On the morning of February 14, the two of you check into the luxury hotel he had booked for a romantic staycation, awaiting an entire day of activities planned around the resort: lunch and dinner reservations, a couple’s massage, seeing the hotel’s nightly show...

Only for it to all be completely foiled before it even starts when Shoto gets an urgent call about a villain incident gone badly wrong, with as many heroes as possible desperately needed to help.

“Go ahead and do everything we had planned,” he urges as he’s leaving, rushing through a parting kiss. “I’ll be right back.”

But you know that it’s not going to be as simple as “I’ll be right back.”

The moment the door shuts behind him, you can’t help but turn on the TV and flip to the news, trying to find out just what Shoto had gotten himself into

The danger of the situation makes you sick with anxiety, and you have to turn it off almost immediately for the sake of your own sanity

Trying to follow his wishes, you go through the motions of the day you had planned, but instead of reaping the intended benefits of rest and relaxation, your brain is completely clouded with worry for Shoto’s safety

Which is only amplified when the hotel lobby has the news on with a crowd of people clumped together before it to see what’s going on, and the receptionist approaches you to ask if you’re alright

Dark falls with no sign of Shoto, but your heart leaps when you get the news notification that the battle is over

You turn the news back on for live coverage of the heroes that participated being interviewed about the events, but your stomach knots once again when you see no sign of Shoto

They haven’t mentioned any casualties, you wonder, but have they missed him or something?

When a knock echoes throughout the room, a cold feeling of dread washes over your body

You freeze and merely stare at the door, sure you’re about to receive the news that’s the worst nightmare of any partner of a hero

Until the door opens, and reveals Shoto holding a bouquet the size of his torso, looking a bit battered but otherwise alright

You launch yourself across the room, and he drops the flowers to engulf you in his arms

“God, Shoto,” you sob. “No matter how long I’ve been with you, waiting and worrying never gets any easier.”

“I know, I know,” he murmurs back, stroking your hair. “But I’m here now. I’m fine. I ran here the moment I could get away.”

When you finally allow him to pull away, he hands you the flowers, and you call room service for a vase and a first-aid kit

You sit Shoto on the bed and tend to his minor wounds, then order some of your favorite comfort foods for a very late dinner

Shoto is never one to discuss his missions right after the fact, so instead you just talk about nonsense things, like the most recent episode of your favorite show to watch together, and where the two of you wanted to go on your next vacation

Afterward, the two of you lay in the dark, so tangled together that it’s nearly impossible to tell who’s whom

Neither of you are tired at all, realizing fully that the privilege of getting to hold each other like you are was almost taken away that day

You feel your eyes start to well up at just how much you love the man next to you, realizing how much you need him

Shoto seems to sense that you’re going to a dark place, so he traces his fingers lightly against your cheek and breaks the silence.

“I forgot to tell you. I extended our stay here so we can still celebrate like we were planning to. I’m sorry I had to go today.”

“Shoto, you don’t have to be sorry.” You cup his cheek back, a few tears spilling out of your eyes as they meet his. “I’m just so glad you’re safe and that you’re here with me.”

Yaoyorozu Momo

Recently, an adorable little paint-your-own-pottery studio had opened on yours and Momo’s route home

You two had always meant to go for a fun date, but never really had the time, so when a Valentine’s event is announced, you both leap at the opportunity and reserve your spots right away

When Valentine’s Day arrives, you and Momo show up half an hour early for the event, wearing coordinating shades of red and pink

Laughing at your accidental matching, the two of you kill the time until the event begins by taking a million photos together

When the doors to the shop open and you’re finally allowed in, Momo’s eyes nearly pop out of her head in excitement, and you just know it’s going to become a regular date spot for the two of you

The shop is decorated like a romantic tea shop straight out of a cheesy movie, with lace doilies marking work stations, faux roses as centerpieces, and red, white, and pink balloons covering the ceiling

The special event involves painting spindly teacups with handles shaped like hearts, the workstations supplied with punch and sweets, all colored and shaped for the holiday

“Look at these!” She exclaims, picking up the ceramic cup at her workstation. “What should we paint on them?”

“Why don’t we do a matching design?” you suggest. “That way we can remember this even better.”

“Yes, let’s do that!” she agrees. “What design should we do, then?”

You two decide to keep it simple: paint the mugs solid baby pink, stamp tiny red hearts all around, and then Momo would use her elegant handwriting and paint both of your initials in calligraphy on one of the faces.

You ready your stations and sit shoulder-to-shoulder as you work, chatting and giggling the entire time, occasionally nudging each other playfully with your legs

“Could you hold the cup at this angle for me while I do the calligraphy?” she requests, which gives you an excuse to sit even closer to her, the scent of her rosy perfume engulfing you

“I wish I had handwriting like that,” you whine, watching her paint the graceful swirls of your initials, followed by the date below.

“I can teach you,” she offers, coming to stand behind you. “Here.”

She puts her hand over yours, and guides it along in the shape of the letters, her free arm looping around the front of your shoulders in a casual hug

“See? You’ve done it!”

“It still doesn’t look nearly as good as yours.”

“Well, my heart stamps don’t look nearly as good as yours. I don’t think I applied enough pressure.” She returns to her own seat, stares at you for a few moments, then giggles. “Speaking of, you’ve got paint on your face. Come here.”

You lean forward so she can wipe off the paint with a gentle touch, and she places a kiss on the now-clean spot.

“There. All better.”

When the two of you finish painting the mugs, you turn them into the counter so they can be finished in the kiln, then sit by the window of the shop to enjoy your sweets while you wait

“I’m very excited about these cups,” Momo says, reaching out for your hand. “They’ll be a lovely little keepsake.”

“Me, too,” you agree, resting your head on her shoulder. “It’ll be nice to have tea in them every evening.”

“Exactly. And if there’s ever a time when we have to be separated, whether it be for hero work or some other reason, we can bring our cups with us to remember that the other is always there, waiting to come have tea together.”

Shigaraki Tomura:

Despite his villainous ideals, in romance, Shiggy is actually quite sweet, if not a little clumsy

When you first became close to him, his unhealthy lifestyle and lack of self-care worried you, so you made a habit of cooking for Shigaraki, and leaving a week’s worth of nutritious meals in the League’s fridge for him

He had never revealed this to you, but he appreciated it so much, and wanted to return the favor

When Toga mentioned something about Valentine’s Day, he knew that it was his perfect opportunity, and made his plans by ordering everyone of the League to get out and stay out for the night

He then did some research about something good to make you, wracking his brain to try and remember what you’ve mentioned liking, until he remembers a very important fact:

He can’t cook.

At all.

Has never even once tried.

Which poses an obvious problem.

He panicked for a few moments, until he landed on a new, and possibly better, idea

When you arrive for the date, dressed comfortably (because, as much as you love Shigaraki, you know that there’s no way you’ll be going out for Valentine’s Day), you’re a little bit surprised to find him standing in the kitchen

“Shiggy?” You approach the counter warily. “What are we doing tonight?”

“I can’t cook. I want to know how.”

“You want me to teach you how to cook?”

“Yes. I want to know how to make your favorite meal.”

“Okay. That’s simple enough.” You make to join him in the kitchen, but he blocks your path.

“No. I want to make this for you. Just sit down and...tell me what to do.”

That proves to be quite a bit more difficult, as you never truly understood just how hard it would be to explain cooking to someone that has never used more than a microwave before

The music you had put on in the background was quickly drowned out by his frustrated swears, and you can tell that there are times when he almost loses his temper, but holds it together for the sake of your Valentine’s gift

A couple of utensils do fall victim to his decay, though, and he subtly tries to sweep the remains away in embarrassment.

At one point, his poor knife technique leaves a decently sized cut on his finger, and you jump into action, running for a First-Aid kit

“I’m not a child,” he mutters as you clean the small wound, avoiding your eyes.

“I know,” you reply lightly, pressing a playful kiss to the bandage you had just secured.

As Shigaraki comes close to finishing the meal, you raid Kurogiri’s stores for your favorite bottle of wine, pouring two glasses and setting them out on the table.

“Does this look right?” Shigaraki asks once the final timer goes off, warily holding out his creation.

“You tell me,” you answer. “I’ve made this for you before. It looks the same to me.”

When the two of you sit down and portion out the meal, Shigarki neglects his own plate as he watches you take your first bite

You fight to keep your face neutral, because honestly, it’s god awful, even though you had been right there the whole time, telling him exactly what to do

But you really didn’t expect anything more from a first time-cook, and even though the flavor is completely wrong, you still enjoy it, because you can practically taste how much this prickly mass-murderer actually cares for you

And as twisted as your situation is, you wouldn’t change it for the world

“Is it good?” Shigaraki mumbles from across the table, pulling you from your thoughts.

You take a sip of your wine. “Thank you so much, Tomura. This was such a thoughtful gift. I really appreciate it.”

“I knew it. It’s shit.” He pushes his own plate away in frustration. “I just wanted to pay back a favor and I can’t even do that right.”

“Shig, what did I just say? I appreciate this so much.” You round the table to his seat, rubbing his shoulders and planting a kiss on the top of his head. “Of course your first attempt doesn’t work. But that gives us something new to do together. For tonight, we’ll order some takeout, but starting tomorrow, I’ll give you another cooking lesson, and then another, and another, and another... as many as it takes until you can make a whole meal for me by yourself. Deal?”

He meets your gaze with a puppy-dog expression, placing his palms over where your hands rested on his chest.

“Deal.”

Dabi/Todoroki Touya:

Let’s just say that Dabi isn’t one to ignore traditions.

He’s one to very openly and dramatically oppose them.

You were anxious if not a little worried to see what he was going to have planned for Valentine’s Day- but, honestly, as his partner, you’re equally as unconventional in your own ideals

And he doesn’t disappoint, coming home with tickets to a ghost tour at the most haunted spot in town.

“Do they even do these on Valentine’s Day?”

“Obviously. That’s when I got the tickets for.” He shrugs. “Apparently it’s a thing that people do.”

“Hopefully not very many people. You know how we hate crowds.”

“And hopefully it’s not overtly themed for this asinine holiday.” He takes your waist and whispers the next words in your ear. “The idea of a dark room and an invisible audience is romantic enough.”

“Oh, stop it.”

“I just made you more excited, didn’t I?”

“You’ll have to wait until the day to find out.”

When Valentine’s Day arrives, you dress for the occasion and meet Dabi at a glamorous hotel in an older part of town

Before the tour begins, the guide allows the guests to go to the bar for some drinks, and begin to tell the story of the hotel and the paranormal activity that had sparked the attraction

Dabi seems uninterested, taking in the architecture of the historic buidling and peering down random hallways

“I’m getting bored of this,” he mutters in your ear. “I’m ready to see something interesting.”

“Shh, Dabi, I’m trying to listen,” you whisper back.

He responds by pinching your ass. “So, are you in a naughty mood tonight? Noted.”

“Stop it,” you mutter, lightly pushing him away, but your flushed skin is a dead giveaway to how you truly feel about the situation.

When the tour actually starts, you and Dabi round out the end of the group as it descends into a long, dark hallway.

Eventually, you feel Dabi’s hand leave its spot around your waist, but you’re so distracted listening the tour guide tell stories at the front to even notice.

Until cold hands grab you from you behind and give you a violent shake, growling animalistically in your ear

You let out a terrified scream, but the laugh that comes after is all-too-familiar

“Dammit, Dabi!” you gasp, doubling over to your breath and quiet your heartbeat.

“Aha.” His hands trail down your sides and squeeze your waist. “Gotcha.”

You eventually reach the main event of the tour, which is an old storeroom that had been unused for years due to the intense paranormal activity

Dabi actually stood still next to you with his arm slung around your shoulders, interested for the first time that night as the guide used the ghost box and actually got answers from the spirits that occupied the room.

Though there are a few times when you have to stop him from pulling some prank to scare the other people taking the tour, trying to convince them that they’re actually in immediate danger of possession

When the event is over, however, and the guide is ushering people back down the hallway, Dabi pulls you into a closet, igniting a small flame on his palm and pressing a finger to his lips

When the noise of the crowd filing out is gone, he presses forward forcefully and starts to bury you in deep, passionate kisses

“Wait, wait.” You pull back once you realize what his idea is. “Isn’t this a little...scary?”

“Isn’t that what makes it fun?”

Aizawa Shota

Valentine’s Day happened to fall around one of Aizawa’s busiest times at UA, and he was so tied up and tired that you had barely seen one another lately.

So, when he remembers what’s coming up and drowsily asks you what you want to do for Valentine’s Day, you surprise him.

“I’ve already made plans for us,” you reveal, handing him a printed itinerary. “I booked us a spot at a day spa. Those are all the treatments we’ll be doing.”

“Why’d you choose this? I’m curious.”

“You need some time to relax, and I want to spend time with you when your mind is on something other than which one of your students is going to get broken next.”

“Fair enough.”

On the morning of, the two of you check into the spa, and are instructed to go change into the fluffy bathrobes they provided

“Do I really have to put this on?” he complains, holding it as one might hold a dirty diaper.

“What’s wrong with it?” you ask, already changed into yours.

“I don’t know how I feel about my chest being out on display like this.”

“Well, I’ll like it.” You snake your hand up his shirt and rake your nails down his skin. “C’mon. We’re going to be late for our couple’s massage.”

Once Aizawa has reluctantly changed, the two of you start off your day with massages and facials

You had arranged for him to get a special eye treatment, and the small sounds of relief from his table reveals that your gift is very much appreciated.

“Are you relaxed?” you inquire as you move on from the massage room to your next destination.

“More relaxed I’ve been since I stepped through the doors of UA for the first time.”

“Well, are you relaxed enough to get a hair treatment?”

“Honestly? Bring it on.”

When Aizawa is laying back in a chair, a towel wrapped around his head and a styling cape draped over his robe, you can’t help but snap photos of the slightly comical scene

“Are you taking pictures?” he grumbles.

“Do you mind that I am?”

“Just as long as my students never see it.”

“Noted,” you reply, adding the photo to an album of embarrassing pictures you planned to show them at the end of the term.

After finishing the hair treatment- Aizawa’s hair looking better than you could ever dream yours would- and moving on to a high-tech infrared light treatment, you finished out the day with a soak in the spa’s top-rate onsen, reserved for just the two of you

You sit in comfortable silence in the hot water, bodies pressed close to each other

Shota’s arm was draped around your shoulder, and you loosely held the hand that fell across your body

When you lay your ear on his chest, you notice that his heartbeat is the calmest you’ve ever heard it

“So, did the spa serve its purpose?” you ask, tilting your head up to gaze at him.

“It did. Though I think it was less the spa’s doing, and more the fact that I spent an entire day with you.”

You hum happily, reaching up and tapping his chin. “Nice and well rested now, are you? You sure look pretty.”

He chuckles lightly, running a hand through your hair. “So do you.”

“Well, there’s still about an hour left until our dinner reservation,” you observe, noticing the clock on the wall. “Is there anything you want to do to kill the time before then?”

“We’re both sitting in hot water, naked,” he replies matter-of-factly. “The answer should be obvious.”

[cyaneyesullivan]

listening to WAP and having thoughts...

i took my interest off petekey for a while to focus on other stuff, but everytime i listen to Fall Out Boy, the wonder and amazement spark back immediately... i’m still completely blown away (among other things) by how much Pete must’ve liked (loved) Mikey to keep up with it for so long -- or how much he feels in general. and even if the songs aren’t about Mikey (i have discussed this briefly), it doesn’t change the fact that Pete is absolutely tormented by his own emotions. it’s kind of fascinating.

with that being said, i’m in the mood to list off all the suspicious lyrics ever written by Pete that makes me go “damn, Mikey really did a disgusting number on him” or like, “poor Pete man”

disclaimer: again, these lyrics, let alone songs, might not be about Mikey, but i choose to believe so. i have to satisfy my fixation and bedazzlement on the fact that petekey highkey happened in the summer of 05. 

i’m only including my favorite songs or i’ll be here all night.

italic = my favorite lines

in no particular order:

Bishops Knife Trick (a LOT to unpack in this one): - And I’m living out of time, eternal heatstroke - Spiritual revolt from the waist down - To the places that we never should have left - I’ve got a feeling inside that I can’t domesticate, it doesn’t want to live in a cage, a feeling that I can’t housebreak - And I’m yours, ‘til the earth starts to crumble and the heavens roll away - I’m struggling to exist with you, and without you - I’m sifting through the sand, sand, sand, sand, looking for pieces of broken hourglass - Trying to get it all back, put it back together, as if the time had never passed - I know I should walk away, know I should walk away - But I just want to let you break my brain - And I can’t seem to get a grip - No, no matter how I live with it

Heaven’s Gate (some interesting elements here that describe Pete’s all-consuming yet destructive love) - If there were any more left of me, I’d give it to you (this one is just a personal favorite, not particularly related to Mikey) - Go out in the world, start over again and again, as many times as you can - ‘Cause everything else is a substitute for your love - I’ve got dreams of my own, but I want to make yours come true (another personal favorite lol) - You’re the one habit I just can’t kick

The Last Of The Real Ones (i adore this song but it leaves a lot of space for vague interpretation, so I’ll just list off my favorite lyrics that give me goosebumps when I think they’re meant for Mikey) - You are the sun and I am just the planets, spinning around you - You were too good to be true, gold plated, but what’s inside you? - I know this whole damn city thinks it needs you but not as much as I do, as much as I do - I wonder if your therapist knows everything about me - That ultra-kind of love you never walk away from - I am a collapsing star with tunnel vision, but only for you - My head is stripped just like a screw that’s been tightened too many times, when I think of you - Just tell me, tell me, tell me I, I am the only one, even if it’s not true, even if it’s not true

Just One Yesterday (oh my lord, this one lmao -- honestly the whole song has this odd vibe that it’s a pointed jab at Mikey) - Anything you say can and will be held against, so only say my name - I’d trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday (any notion that suggests Pete is obsessed with the past is a win) - I want to teach you a lesson in the worst kind of way - I don’t have the right name or the right looks, but I have twice the heart (i just feel like maybe he’s implying he’s not a girl and that does not please no-homo Mikey) - If I spilled my guts, the world would never look at you the same way (lol) - And now I’m here to give you all my love - So I can watch your face as I take it all away

Headfirst Slide Into Cooperstown On A Bad Bet (my ultimate favorite of FOB. unbeatable. i had to put it here if only to honor it) --> i talked about it before -- there are no obvious marks of petekey here, but i made a post on it in the past

Immortals (lolol) - I am the sand in the bottom half of the hourglass (hourglass, time, past, bottom half, Pete is still waiting for Mikey, blabla) - I try to picture me without you but I can’t - ‘Cause we could be immortals, immortals, just not for long, for long - And live with me forever now, pull the black out curtains down (blocking public exposure?) - I’m still comparing your past to my future - It might your wound but, they’re my sutures (Pete’s heartbreak = big inspiration that keeps him writing lyrics therefore having a career?)

Centuries (obviously) - Some legends are told, some turn to dust or to gold - But you will remember me, remember me for centuries (they must have done super crazy shit back in 05) - And just one mistake, is all it will take, we’ll go down in history (presumably, their story must be so nuts it will end up in a massive gossip explosion) - Mummified my teenage dreams (his songs lol) - No it’s nothing wrong with me, the kids are all wrong, the story’s all off, heavy metal broke my heart - Bruises on your thighs like my fingerprints - Cause I-I am the opposite of amnesia (notable, since there is concrete evidence of their ‘lovestruck summer’ in the form of a million of his lyrics) - You look so pretty but you’re gone so soon - We’ve been here forever, and here’s the frozen proof (again, his lyrics, photographs, dramas, tweets etc)

Irresistible (honestly, the whole song lmao) - Mon cheri (i’m only putting this one down because, little story: i didn’t know about petekey when i first listened to this song, and i’m french, and when i heard this for the first time i was like, wtf, people keep wanting to use french words and end up using them wrong. well, oops. maybe the use this time wasn’t as faulty as i thought)

HOLD ME TIGHT OR DON’T - I neve really feel a thing, I was kind of too froze - You were the only one, that even kind of came close - I took too many hits off this memory (memory = joint? lmao) - Another day goes by (without Mikey?) - So hold me tight, or don’t (basically, settle or fade) - Oh no, no, no this isn’t how our story ends - I got too high again when I realized I can’t not be with you or be just your friend - I love you to death but I just can’t, I just can’t pretend, we were lovers first - Confidants but never friends, were we ever friends? (interesting point since they never really had a lasting friendship. it’s a well known fact they helped each other with their own monsters (so, confidants), but after the whole summer fiasco, their friendship was at best on and off, and even then, there’s a lot of mourning on Pete’s end. poor guy) - ‘Cause I’m past the limits, the distance between us, it sharpens me like a knife

Jet Pack Blues - I’m the last one that you’ll ever remember - And I’m trying to find my peace of mind - She’s in a long black coat tonight (someone, in a significant night, has been in a long black coat too) - Did you ever love her? Do you know? Or did you never want to be alone? (notable, Pete is questioning whether or not his ‘love’ could stem from loneliness, because this shit happens way too often than should be) - Don’t you remember how we used to split a drink? It never matted what it was - I think our hands were just that close, the sweetness never lasted, no Novocaine (i like this one in particular because it just seems to suggest that Pete will never be finished with this, and will haunt Mikey forever, either to get revenge for being left behind or relive that one unforgettable summer) - I will always land on you like a sucker punch (omg lmao) - I am your worst, I am your worst nightmare - If you knew, knew what the bluebirds sing at you, you would never sing along - Because they took our love and they filled it up, filled it up with novocaine and now I’m just numb - I don’t feel a thing for you (sure) - I’m just a problem that doesn’t wanna be solved - I feel like a photo that’s been overexposed (i wonder if it’s because of all the junk he posted on livejournal) that concludes it! of course, there are so many more obvious songs, like Fourth of July and Bang the Doldrums, but i don’t love those songs, so i didn’t include them. and side note, the lyrics hit that much harder when Patrick is the damn singer and makes everything hurt. but i’ll rant about that in another post, maybe.

(it doesn’t really matter who sees this or doesn’t -- i just wanted to put this out somewhere. petekey will forever be so interesting. the impact Mikey (or whoever Pete wrote about) had on Pete is just unbelievable to me.)

end.

[jensungf]

𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐎𝐕𝐈𝐄𝐒 🎬 𝐥.𝐝𝐡

summary: the kissing booth was a horrible movie, but somehow you still managed to get roped into watching the god-awful sequel, and the only reason you could blame was your stupid best friend by the name of lee donghyuck. oh, and the fact that you may or may not be whipped for him too.

pairing: reader x lee donghyuck genre: fluff + best friends to lovers!au word count: 1.7k

a/n: i wrote this on a whim once again, but it’s lowkey dedicated to @gohyuck​ and @haechaaaaaaanssi for always fueling my hyuck feels! also disclaimer: i have not watched kissing booth 2 nor do i ever plan to </3

“no. no way. not in a million years.”

   donghyuck looked at you with his puppy dog eyes, his perfectly soft and supple pink lips puckered into that damned pout that made your heart palpitate and head spin. you blinked and forced your head out of the gutter.

  nope. there was no way you were giving in, you told yourself as you tried to ignore what you liked to call the haechan effect. more so known as the phenomenon that your best friend had over people (unfortunately, it meant especially you.)

“please y/n, no one else wants to watch with me!” donghyuck pleads, grasping your hand with his oddly petite ones. you tried to ignore the way your heart was beating erratically out of your chest at his small action. you didn’t know if you should be saddened or relieved that he probably didn’t even know how much of an effect it had on you.

“you really couldn’t ask mark? or johnny?” you quip, yet the annoyance in your voice was dissipating with every word you spoke, the longer he held your hand.

  were you sweating? could he feel your sweaty palm? could he hear how loud your chest was pounding? you hoped you weren’t being obvious with how smitten you may or may not be at the moment.

he shook his head fervently, pouting even more. “they said no, and i really wanna watch it with you, so pretty please?” 

  how could you say no to him when he was looking at you like you held the world in your hands? even though you already knew deep down that you were going to give in, that didn’t mean you were going to give in without a fight.

  you kept persisting as you finally untwine your fingers and tug your hand away, nose wrinkling in distaste. “the first movie was already so bad and cringey! why the hell is there even a second one?”

  the expression on donghyuck’s face morphed to one of hurt, and you immediately felt the panic rise in your chest. you didn’t mean to offend him, as much as you abhorred the aforementioned movie (seriously though, it wasn’t possible to sit through the first fifteen minutes even when everyone was practically gagging every minute or so). you knew how much he liked this movie, and even though you vehemently disagreed with his taste (leading you to force him to agree to a movie marathon of your favorite rom-coms), his opinions were still valid. 

  he sighed dejectedly, looking down at his lap like a kicked puppy. “all right, fine. i guess i'm just going to go watch the movie… alone… all by myself…” he mumbled, continuing on for dramatic effect. 

  of course. give it to lee donghyuck to always get his way with you. no surprise when he always had his way when it came to you unfortunately (after all, it was only the cost of having your heart stolen by him.)

  you paused for a second. it was so obvious he was only being like this to just guilt-trip you into watching the horrid sequel with him. but in the end, your heart won. so much for mind over matter.

you let out a small huff, “... fine.”

  donghyuck looked back up at you with stars in his eyes, his face instantaneously brightening at your response. “really?” 

  he tackled you into a hug and you felt the air being knocked out of your lungs by his sheer weight as you let out an ‘oomph’. “i knew you loved me!” he screeched as you yelled at him to get his stupid booty off of you because of course i love you, you idiot.

“only this one time. and then you owe me,” you mutter, trying to forget the feeling of his arms around you. it didn’t help your budding feelings that he happened to be very affectionate with everyone, especially you. you leaned over instinctually and grabbed his cheek, feeling his soft skin and squishy flesh between your thumb and forefinger. “you know one day i’m going to stop listening to you being an idiot right?” 

  he grinned and cupped your cheeks between his palms as well, squishing them together until your face hurt. “just admit that you love me,” he cooed before he let go with a cackle.

  you both settled into your spots on the couch, and you try not to think about the way that his body is so close to you (not to mention the warmth radiating from his body that made the soft quilt on you unnecessary) as you try to ignore the way it seemed like he was slowly inching closer and closer to you. 

  however, you suddenly shifted your attention to the familiar sound of the netflix intro playing on the tv in front of you, and braced yourself. just as you expected, the movie was sickeningly cheesy and cliche. that being said, this just meant that you couldn’t resist looking over at him every time as he let out his adorable laugh at a cheesy line or how his pretty brown eyes widened before every predictable scene. it was a miracle you managed to sit through the entire two hours of the despicably cliche love triangle. maybe because you probably spent most of the time not so discreetly paying more attention to the boy besides you than the actual movie. 

  you hadn’t even realized that the movie had ended until you’re snapped out of your trance at the sound of donghyuck’s screeching. “i can’t believe that they left the movie on a cliffhanger!”

  you let out a hum of bemusement and donghyuck finally notices your gaze on him. it was difficult for him to focus on the movie as well, when he was trying his best to ignore the fact that your attention was all on him. in fact, it took him every ounce of self-control to not bust out in a smirk and kiss your pretty face right then and there.

  donghyuck turns to you with an unreadable look in his eyes, causing you to freeze. “w-what?” you stammer, suddenly realizing how close he was to you. “stop looking at me like that, hyuck, you’re scaring me.”

he leans in closer to you, and you jerk backward. what the heck was he doing?

the corners of his lips upturn into a smirk, “you’re not that slick, y/n.” 

if your heart was beating out of your chest earlier, you might as well be playing it on a stereo for everyone in the tri-state area to hear. “what are you talking about?” you say, unable to hide how breathless you had become.

he cocks an eyebrow in amusement. his voice drops an octave as he parts his lips to whisper, “you didn’t think i’d notice how you were staring at me the entire time, baby?”

you let out a small gasp. you felt practically immobilized from the shock coursing through your veins— from the fact that he called you baby or that you were caught, you weren’t sure.

“i owe you, right?” he asks teasingly, and you can’t find it in you to nod your head, but he continues on anyway.

“here’s my payment then.” 

  before you could question him, he closes the gap between you both and connects his lips with yours. your mind goes blank and the only thing you can even think of was how lee donghyuck was truly going to be the death of you. he moves his soft, plump lips against yours and pulls you in closer by your waist. your heart was skyrocketing at this point, lost in the feeling of how right it felt. he moves his hands up to cup your cheeks gently, as he breaks away to allow you both to take a breath. he smiles and pecks your lips again as he pulls away.

you didn’t even realize that your eyes had squeezed shut before you opened them and drank in the sight of his handsome features. you traced over the moles dotting his face like a constellation, and how undeniably breathtaking he was. you felt as if you were drunk, practically intoxicated by your best friend’s presence and touch. 

he smirks proudly. “how was that for payback, huh?”

you snap out of your daze and immediately shove him away. “lee donghyuck, what the fuck was that?” you grumble as you try to wrap your head around what had just happened. 

“aww, don’t tell me you didn’t like it! i’m not that bad of a kisser y/n,” he teases with a fake pout.

you flushed warmly at his words. “no! i just— ugh, you’re so annoying!” you felt the heat creep up your neck as you refuse to look him in the eye. 

donghyuck remains silent for a moment but he throws his head back and bursts out laughing. “you’re so cute y/n…” he says between laughs, finally putting his hands to squish your cheeks and mimic what you had done to him earlier. his eyes sparkle before he forces you to lock eyes with him.

“can’t you tell i like you too?” 

you feel time stop, just for a second, before your instincts kick in and you practically go into overdrive. your jaw drops and you grab a pillow to throw at him. 

“you knew all this time!?” you spluttered in embarrassment, “i can’t believe you— oh my god, you’re such a bitch!”

“it’s not my fault you’re so obvious! and you’re too cute to resist. how is it my fault for not being able to hold back from kissing you when you look so pretty like, all the time?” 

you let out a groan as he envelopes you into his arms. you stop struggling because fuck, what was the point anymore when you were exposed? donghyuck rests his head onto yours as he rocks you slightly back and forth, humming in contentment. he presses a gentle kiss to the crown of your head, and you can’t help but wrap your arms around him as well, accepting your fate.

“so… does that mean we can do it again? like how they did it in the movie?”

“lee donghyuck!”

bonus scene:

“so did you even watch the movie at all?” he asks while stroking your head as you lay on his chest, listening to the sound of his heartbeat. the movie was still replaying on the flat-screen tv, yet it was practically background noise drowned out by the comforting thump of donghyuck’s heart.

you sigh and bite your lip guiltily. “not really…”

he looks down at you as you tilt your head backwards to get a better look at his face, only to see a mischievous grin spread across his face. you raise your eyebrows in suspicion. “what?”

“you know…”

he pauses before flashing a cheeky smile.

“there’s a kissing booth 3 coming out.”

“over my dead body!”

[literallymechanical]

Well, are you going to fill us in on "why we are morally obligated as a species to some day blow up the Earth"? Sounds like a supervillain backstory

(This was originally inspired by qntm’s fantastic satirical essay, “To Destroy The Earth,” but I disagree with him on a few key points. I highly recommend checking out qntm’s fiction, particularly Ra, Fine Structure, and There Is No Antimemetics Division. Disclaimer: this is a thought experiment, I’m not actually going to destroy the Earth.)

Let us begin with this: you want to destroy the Earth.

That’s not a question or an instruction, that’s an axiom. A fundamental truth from which a logical system is built. It’s your Statement Zero, the singular concept from which the rest of these instructions are built: you want to destroy the Earth. You might not know why, and you certainly don’t know how. Trust me, you really don’t know how. Take all of your cultural knowledge of Death Stars and hyperspace construction crews and throw it out the window, because it’s not worth a clipped penny.

That being said, here are a few reasons to somebody might want to destroy the Earth:

You want to wipe out humanity

You want to wipe out some other species

General misanthropy

It’s obstructing your view of the Moon.

You want us to colonize Mars or Venus, and you figure this is the best way to get everybody on board.

These are bad reasons to destroy the Earth. If any of these sentiments resonate with you, please stop reading this essay. This isn’t for you.

Anyway, let's put a pin in the “why” for now. We'll get to it later. Let's tackle the "how" first.

To destroy the Earth, you need a Plan, with a capital P.

The shape of the Plan is extremely simple to define, much simpler than the relatively detailed (and, in my opinion, fragile) instructions others have outlined. It has just two parts.

Figure out how to destroy the Earth. This is defined as the Earth not being there when you're done—any chump with nuclear weapons can scour the Earth, you're trying to make the entire thing go away.

Destroy the Earth.

However, a lot of shapes are simple to define, but hard to draw. The Mandelbrot set can be defined by a single equation and a couple of instructions, but the result is a fractal. This Plan will be fractally intricate as well. We certainly can’t draw up the full Plan right now. We can barely even begin to draw the outline. Let’s take a quick stab at it anyway.

First of all, I don’t know how to destroy the Earth. We can speculate a bit, but we certainly can’t choose a method yet—you'll likely need multiple redundant strategies anyway. “Blow it up” is one idea, but the gravitational binding energy of the Earth is about 2*10^32 joules, and there is no conceivable technology that can handle that sort of power right now. “Launch bits of it into space one by one until there’s nothing left” sounds promising, though it will take a while. “Mess with its orbit until it’s close enough to the Sun’s Roche limit to get ripped to shreds” is a fun idea. Or maybe in the next million years, you'll come up with a better way.

The most important part of that statement is “the next million years.” It will take a very long time to figure this one out. A million years is a pretty good estimate, though if you'll proactive it might take as little as a couple hundred thousand.

That brings us to the hardest part of the Plan: making sure the Plan survives a million years.

Right now, you're in a precarious position. Climate change probably won’t entirely wipe us out, but it will likely disrupt civilization enough that the Plan will be lost. Nuclear war might actually cause us to go extinct. A killer asteroid certainly would. Therefore, the first thing the Plan needs to do is save the world. Reverse climate change, or at least halt it. Nuclear disarmament. Peace, or as close as we can get to it. Medicine, spaceflight, art, prosperity, happiness, survival—all part of the Plan.

Colonizing other planets, and eventually other solar systems, is also in the Plan. Not just for a backup in case of killer meteor, but also because when you do destroy the Earth, you’ll need somewhere to stand. Remember, you're not trying to wipe out humanity here! Just destroy a planet. This will be tricky. It’s very likely that there’s no such thing as faster-than-light travel, so it will take a while to spread across the galaxy. This might take up the bulk of the million-year timeline.

(Quick note: you may be tempted to conquer the Earth, or set yourself up as some sort of galaxy-spanning God-Ruler. In my personal opinion, this is a bad idea. Right now, empires typically last a couple hundred years before falling. Do you think it would be easier to hold on to multiple planets than just a bit of land around the Mediterranean? I believe that it’s best to have your Plan set up a system where people can survive and thrive without needing you.)

But as tricky as interstellar colonization may be, it’s still the easy part. The hard part is that the entire Plan has to reconstruct itself from scratch if everything goes wrong.

The Plan has to be the most massively redundant, self-repairing, and robust project humanity has ever undertaken, or will ever undertake. The Plan needs to be able to resurrect our entire species on its own, without human intervention, in case something goes wrong (e.g. nuclear war) and we all get wiped out. Here’s one idea: computerize the Humanity Reboot Protocol, stamp the code onto platinum bricks, launch a million copies into deep space and onto every rocky body in the solar system, and have it check back in every once in a while. You can have that one for free.

The Plan also needs to have a way to re-motivate humanity to destroy the Earth. Maybe that’s as simple as posting it to tumblr and having a lot of people read it, but it will probably be a bit more complicated. Crucially, the Plan does not have to be visible. Nobody actually needs to know that the Plan exists, if you’re clever enough. You might be tempted to turn it into a religion, but religions change and die. Remember: the Plan has to eventually pop off, no matter what we do to ourselves.

The Plan is now its own entity, both distinct from and deeply intertwined with humanity.

(As a side note, this begs the question: What if the Plan is already in effect? If it’s a good Plan, we wouldn’t be able to tell. What if some sufficiently motivated creature set things into motion ten thousand or a hundred thousand or a million years ago? Food for thought.)

Alright. So, enough time has passed, and you’ve figured out how to destroy the Earth. I use “you” loosely at this point. Maybe, against all odds, you’ve figured out immortality, or mind-uploading, cloning, whatever. More likely, you’ve been dust for a million years. That’s not important. Regardless, “you” are standing on Mars or wherever and your metaphorical finger is hovering a metaphorical big red button marked “DESTROY THE EARTH.” Step 2 of the Plan.

Let’s pause here and go back to that pin from before: Why? Why are you destroying the Earth?

Well, a lot of reasons. If I were doing this, my Plan would include abandoning the Earth for other star systems and setting it up as some sort of museum. I'd take all the biosphere with me, of course, and make better Earths elsewhere. Imagine a hundred Earths, each of which are perfect nature preserves, or more! Imagine finding a good silica-heavy planet, turning it into molten glass, and sculpting it into something beautiful. Imagine spelling your name in an Oort cloud. Imagine an ocean planet full of whales.

Imagine coming back to a deserted G-type solar system with a few dusty rocks, an asteroid belt, and a handful of gas giants. Imagine breaking them down to make raw materials for a Dyson sphere.

Bam! Earth destroyed! You did it!

Maybe a paleontologist somewhere will figure out that this might be the planet where we first evolved, and it would be nice to put it somewhere safe. Hey, does that count as destroying the Earth? Where the Earth once was, there is now empty space. No more Earth! That sounds pretty destroyed to me. Bam! Earth destroyed! You did it!

Maybe your Plan is different, and the Earth is still inhabited. For what it’s worth, I hope you’ve made it a paradise, one of a thousand Edens across the galaxy. It would be a shame to blow it up… but if Sol-3 is just one paradise among many, what makes it significant? “Earth” is our homeworld, but now there are a thousand homeworlds, so what is “Earth?” What makes this one rock special? Nothing! You’ve successfully destroyed the entire concept of “Earth.” That might be harder than blowing up a planet! Well done! You did it!

In conclusion, here is why I say it’s a moral imperative to destroy the Earth:

Eventually, a baby bird has to leave the nest. Somebody needs to be the mom bird who lures her chicks off the edge, and it might as well be me.

[smolbeandrabbles]

Innocence - Andrew ‘Pope’ Cody x Reader (Animal Kingdom)

@mandy23b​ @wltz-bby​ @happyskywhale​

GIF CREDIT: X

‘This is gonna be one hell of a night, I know you want it...’ ~ Kim Petras, There Will Be Blood.

Author’s Note: Basically, this is a fic in response to #ThatOneFic on AO3. I got a little bit of ‘if you can’t beat ‘em join ‘em.’ syndrome and then decided I was better than that.  Could have written the one that’s in my drafts, but doing my Director’s Cut and then talking to everyone about it really got me like... 

Why not start some probably not very good smut with murder, after all? 😉

Can I disclaimer myself? The notes for this (written, as tradition states at like, 3am) are just pure filth. And I was horrified reading them back. So yeah, you’re not... getting that, but you’re getting remnants of what it could have been...

Added 800 words during the editing process because he needed it. I’ll fight for my vision of Andrew one fic at a time...

Innocence - Halestorm

Disclaimer: AK nothing to do with me / Part inspired by my own Director’s Cut analysis of Andrew & further fic research / lyrics & gif not mine

Small ‘need to know’ info: David is a policeman, and readers oldest brother.

Premise: When a drugs deal goes awry on the wrong side of town, and the police on the case, Andrew has one place to go. You’re used to this behaviour, but there is something about that dangerous side of him you just can’t resist - and you don’t want him to hold back...

Words: 5639

Warnings: Swearing / Sex / Sinday/Sunday Smut / Drugs references

____ You see it from the outside You're running toward the wall Swinging from your blind side But you don't know me at all I've been here too many times before And your tears don't mean a thing I only come when you scream Is this what you wanted Did I make your dreams come true? You're sitting in a corner Wondering what you got into And you ache for things you don't understand That your tears don't mean a thing And I only come when you scream, I told you Child, don't follow me home You're just too perfect for my hands to hold If you choose to stay, you'll throw it all away And I just want to take your innocence There's no such thing as fate Only yourself to blame You never walked away Child, don't follow me home You're just too perfect for my hands to hold If you choose to stay, you'll throw it all away And I just want to take your innocence

---

The scent of bleach filled the apartment; opening the front door gave you nothing more than an instant headache. You were lucky it didn’t make you gag, and you stood blinking for a few minutes – surely the feeling of your eyes stinging was only phycological?! Slipping your bag from your shoulder you exhaled deeply, followed by an inhale you instantly regretted, groaning and dragging a hand over your face. There could only be one culprit. What the hell had he done this time? He was probably long gone by now, tidied away and back home “ANDREW!” This was certainly more a cry of frustration to yourself; it wasn’t like you’d actively get mad at someone so volatile. This time you were met by an answer, coming from vaguely the direction of your bathroom. “Okay. But it wasn’t my fault this time.” You jumped immediately, dropping your bag, hand to your heart. “Geez! Are you incapable of giving me anything other than a heart attack!?!” Instead of being verbally answered, the man himself appeared; the white shirt and black slacks were ill fitting. Like he’d just grabbed the first possible thing he could from some shelf or other. Judging by the sizing, they were likely your brother David’s. Your eyes instantly narrowed; only one reason Andrew wouldn’t be wearing his own clothes. “What the fuck did you do?” He held both his hands up, the attempt to stop you from jumping to conclusions clearly not working by your unimpressed face: “Got caught in the crossfire, that’s all.” You folded your arms, daring him to pull the other: “Oh yeah, my whole apartment smells like bleach because you got caught in the crossfire.” His face was deadly serious: “You can’t expect me not to retaliate now, can you.” Your body’s instant reaction to that was to move away from him, but your jerk away was not followed by a step back, “So you did kill someone.” His eyes flicked over your shoulder for a split second, “Not exactly.” “Andrew!” “Would you rather I was dead?” He touched his hand to his chest, immediately making you defensive. “Don’t say things like that--!” Of course not, you never liked thinking that it was a distinct possibility. The corporate world of the men you used to date – of the man you almost married – was a million miles from the one standing in front of you right now. Andrew turning up here unannounced was not unusual, but it usually meant something had pushed him here. It was that thought that prompted your next question; “What happened?” “Drugs run gone wrong.” Too blunt. You opened you mouth, eyes going point a-z - you weren’t really looking at anything, you just didn’t want to look into his eyes when you knew all they’d show was how deadly serious he was – “You know, sometimes I wish you’d be just a little more subtle with me, Andrew.” You shook your head “But, I know that’s not your strong suit.” He gave a shrug, “You asked. Usually you don’t want to know.” “Yeah well, now I wished I hadn’t.” You indicated to your bathroom, “What state is it in?” “It’s fine.” You pushed passed him with a huff; “I’ll be the judge of that!” You couldn’t actually stand in there for more than a few seconds at a time, but when finally you deemed it safe, you couldn’t help but conclude that he was right. Even if he was on thin ice. “How much damn blood was there for you to need that much bleach?” Andrew gave you a single slow blink; “I like to be thorough.” There was an edge to his voice that sent a shudder up your spine that wasn’t entirely unpleasant. Yeah, you knew that. “Did you come all the way up to my apartment in blood stained clothes?!” “Not exactly.” “This I don’t want to hear.” “I know there’s cameras. I know the blind spots and trust me, no one saw me.” That was about the only thing he’d said so far you did trust. Andrew was far too good at this – if he said no one saw him, then no one saw him. Or they were already sworn to silence. “And your clothes are where?” Because if they weren’t in a dumpster about 6 miles away, you’d throttle him yourself. “Oh no, you-” “It better not have been a shirt I liked!” This blink meant nothing, and his face remained stoic. So it probably was, now doused in someone else’s blood. Vital evidence, of course. You sighed and stepped towards him, “The police?” “Drug land wars. It’s gonna look like exactly what it was.” “Promise me this isn’t traceable?” “It wasn’t our side of town. But you know that means nothing.” “A…Andrew…” You took his face in your hands, beneath your fingertips the tiny litter of scars you could still feel, but not see. His body was littered with such marks – you doubted he’d ever consider healing properly before he was off to the next big ‘adventure’. “Tell me you’re gonna be okay?” He placed his hands gently on your waist, but shook his head, “I can’t. You know that.” Andrew would stretch the truth, perhaps even lie by omission; but never blatantly. Not to you – not to someone who cared about him in the way you did. You shook your head, fingers holding him a little firmer before you placed your forehead to his: “I’m just glad you’re safe.” It was all you could say, but you meant it. It could have been his blood all over someone else’s clothes, with their significant other now holding them the way you were holding him. Instead they were likely getting news that the person they loved was dead, and you got to feel Andrew Cody breathe. He wasn’t holding you like a man who loved you, you weren’t even close. You weren’t about to unpick his feelings right this second, but you knew exactly what that meant.   “You can’t stay, can you?” He shook his head again, slowly, detaching himself from you. “Not today.” Not I’m sorry, not I love you, just not today. His brothers were at the scene, but Andrew was the one that was in trouble. You wondered if that meant he should be staying – or if he thought staying would put you in danger. This was meant to be his safe house… then again, maybe he needed to get back to his family. Andrew had a knack for disappearing by coming to you – for exactly that reason, no one would think to look for him in this part of town – if the Cody’s didn’t know where he’d got to, they’d be facing chaos. You weren’t about to tell him that his presence god-knows-how-long later dressed in someone else’s clothes probably would only add to that. “If you need me…” “I’ll come back.” He only gave a single nod, those blue eyes telling nothing but the truth. Andrew let you steal a single kiss before he was heading toward your front door, he opened it without a word, pausing only to half raise his hand to say goodbye. You wanted to tell him you loved him, it didn’t seem like an appropriate moment, and with a last lingering look your apartment door closed, leaving you alone. You let out another breath, this time loud as it built into a groan, hands running into your hair: ‘What the fuck am I doing!?’

***

You weren’t exactly in the know on this type of thing, and living across Melbourne in your apartment, you saw Andrew by arrangement, or when he chose to see you. Crime in Melbourne didn’t interest you until it had to – and half the time it was only because he forced your hand. A shoot out on the wrong side of town attracted the attention of the police. The Cody’s weren’t in favour with the police at the best of times, so this only made the cops go haywire. You were none the wiser, but the boys knew it. The law would be all over them – Baz was surprised that they weren’t already, and to counteract this, quickly managed to set a plan in motion. Although it was enacted with an air of panic. “Alright! This time we take no chances, its lockdown. We can’t go anywhere; we move slow and cautious and don’t do anything.” Baz stilled and thought for a moment before turning to his friend, the most likely candidate to get into the wrong kind of trouble. They’d all been there, sure, but it was Andrew the police would come down hardest on. “If we do, we gotta stay put – if necessary, hide. Pope, that means you-!” Craig and Darren immediately began arguing about “How can the house be safe!?” and Baz had the job of reasoning about alibis and how they usually got out of this with help from Ezra, commonly - without evidence - nothing went anywhere… and trying to knock some sense into their panic. Andrew wasn’t hearing any of this, instead he just sat calmly, eyes on a fixed spot – staying here wasn’t his only option. In fact, it was an option he’d rather not take. He stood, wandering off to his bedroom, exiting barely a minute later with a bag. At this point the others realised that he was in fact, leaving, and their yelling after him didn’t cause a turn back. Andrew Cody left without a word. “Andrew!! POPE! Where the HELL do you think you’re going man?!” Baz was too preoccupied with his friend to bother holding the other two back, and yet they didn’t attempt to chase their older brother. He knew the answer that Andrew wouldn’t give; “Y/N.” Darren turned to him with wide eyes; “Is that even safe-!?!” Baz thought that was doing you a disservice as a head strong city girl, you knew what you were getting into. You knew who Andrew was. “Man, I don’t even know where she lives. It’s perfect. After all, who is gonna ask a girl - who barely knows the names of three drugs - where the hell Andrew Cody is. She’s the last place you’d think to look...”

They all heard the car engine start, and as it pulled from the drive they were left in silence. “Should we stop him?” “Nope. It’s not worth it. Pope’s made his choice, best he lay low and out of it for now.” Craig tipped nearly his entire body as he mused his thought; “How did he even get her anyway!?!” Baz frowned, “It’s not about how he got her,” Although he was sure he knew the answer to that,  “it’s about how he’s keeping her.” “Fear?” Baz was almost worried that that was Darren’s gut answer and shook his head firmly. “No. No that’s not it. Pope wouldn’t hurt her.” “You sure about that. He’s got pretty violent tendencies...” This particular incident was a case in point. “No. Because she really WOULD leave.” Unless it was truly accidental; you’d kicked him out for drugs – he lay a hand on you (in a way you didn’t like; he’d seen the scratches and bruises that often adorned your hips that you seemed to like showing off sometimes) Baz wouldn’t think you’d be incapable of calling the cops yourself. That wasn’t a thought he liked. “Oh, she loves him, dearly…” “So what is she to him?” There was a tone of disgust in Craig’s voice, Baz gave him a significant look, “At the very least, a safer space than he’ll ever have here.”

** Weekends alone were nice. You liked waking in someone’s arms, you liked wasting your time on nothing, maybe you’d be treated to a walk somewhere, but it was likely that if Andrew was staying the weekend, you’d not leave your apartment. But alone you could very nearly sleep the whole thing away, eat whenever you wanted – maybe do a grocery store snack run, see your friends at all your favourite Melbourne coffee bars, take your car up to your parents for the weekend to see the kids… but staying under the covers with nothing but your dreams was the priority.   And given that the smell of bleach was finally completely dissipating from your apartment, tonight was the best you slept in days. However, when you woke this morning you weren’t alone. Which was fine either way, your boyfriend had a key and this behaviour wasn’t uncommon, but he was not beside you in bed. Rather, standing at the foot of it staring at you. Andrew Cody wasn’t even blinking, and the only thing that would indicate that he wasn’t a statue, was the rise and fall of his chest for every breath he took. He’d been here for a while, simply observing your sleeping form, your movements and your breathing; Andrew didn’t want to wake you when the dreams seemed good. He didn’t scare you, or make you jump. If anything his presence made you feel a little safer, but by the indication of your clock it was nearly midday… what was he doing here? You flattened yourself out onto your back as you stared right back at him, but his eyes didn’t hold yours very long, raking themselves down your body. The fluctuation of his breathing changed, and you could read that like a book. This man was clearly DTF. And although you couldn’t possibly believe that Andrew would make the journey across the city just for that, it wasn’t out of Andrew’s remit. “What?” Your voice was still soft as you pushed yourself up with your arms so you sat. “Andrew? Baby, what?” Your pulse was elevating to meet the look on his face, the hunger in his eyes. Clearly your body was more than happy to read the signals of his and be roused from its dreams to give signals of its own. Your tongue danced across your bottom lip as you lowered your gaze to the rest of Andrew’s body. You couldn’t deny that you could feel the rise in your arousal and this time, as his eyes came up to meet yours again, your body tingled under the weight of his stare. You wanted him right now too. “C’mere.” You encouraged him, tipping your body back to rest on your hands, head inclined. Andrew didn’t need more than that invitation, crawling onto the bed, hands either side of you. You could hear his breathing now, and he was close, but still not touching you. You continued watching the way he was still staring at your body, the change to the colour of his eyes – he was putting too much thought into this and it was torture. Andrew inhaled you, and you could almost feel the heat coming from him. For a moment you realised you’d been forgetting to breathe, and as you did so your body gave a throb, stomach knotting deliciously. The scent of him covered you. With Andrew this close you didn’t think there was any going back from that. “Do you want me? Andrew? Babe? Do you want me? You can say it...” He still wasn’t looking at your face, and although his head movements were neither confirmation or denial, they were indecisive. With no verbal reaction, but consent certainly needed in order to continue, you closed that gap, grazing your lips to his cheek you nudged his head back just enough to ghost his lips. “I want you, too. Baby, I need you.” If he wouldn’t consent verbally, you would simply let him know you did. He immediately let out a growl, pushing you back into the sheets. Even if you expected kisses, you didn’t expect them to be this harsh and it was very nearly shocking – was Andrew only trying to hold himself back? He pinned you down; knees by your hips, feet between your legs. But you didn’t struggle against him, hands shooting to his shoulders and through his hair – Andrew didn’t pin your wrists. You could feel your hips widening for him – knowing immediately that you wanted him to do whatever the fuck he wanted to you. Shifting himself so that you were still pinned, Andrew pulled your underwear down your legs, discarding them. All the while his lips were still on yours and he wasn’t affording you much breathing room. Some would say this was too close, but this was just where he liked to be. His hands ran smoothly back up your thighs and your hips wiggled underneath his, looking for anything. Andrew answered you sooner than expected, clearly he wasn’t in the mood to wait for this, and slowed his hands to part your thighs just that little more. You immediately moaned into his kiss as Andrew ran his index finger teasingly through your folds. You knew he wouldn’t stop there, and you had to leave his lips in order to draw enough breath to whine as he circled your clit slow. Andrew freed you from being pinned just so you could feed your legs into a more comfortable position whilst still giving him access to you; already flushed, you knew he wouldn’t have to do much to work you up. Dipping his fingers into your arousal as he brushed his thumb across your clit, it wasn’t long before he pushed a finger inside you and even shorter before another joined it – widening you for him. You weren’t even sure you were fully awake yet and your mouth to brain filters hadn’t kicked in, hands shaking as you undid the buttons on your own shirt. “Fuck baby, I need you inside me. Oh, baby please, fuck me, hard. Harder. Edge me, tease me, make me yours.” Clearly neither of you were quite sure where that had come from by the look on his face, but if Andrew thought that was what you wanted, that was what he would give you. Andrew knew what the way you were talking was doing to him as he undid his belt and jeans; it was weird to hear out of your mouth sure, but you were only succeeding in turning him on even more. He removed his fingers from you and thrust in with more force than you expected – causing you to cry out again; not entirely in pain. He growled, lips to your neck as his nails dug into your hips, you pulled his body closer, locking your legs behind him. You drew Andrew deeper; but that was exactly where you wanted him. Here we go with another set of bruises I luckily never have to explain… No trips to the beach for another week, then. If this was back at his, if he’d have called you and asked you to come over – which wasn’t often but it did happen - then this would have to be quiet, and you got the feeling that he was going to be so rough with you that it would be impossible to be silent. But also Andrew liked it when you weren’t – he liked hearing the sounds that he was capable of drawing from you. For just a second he placed his head against yours, and that single kiss was gentle; you thought you were already breathless, perhaps in anticipation, but still managed to say it: “Baby, I will be as loud as you want.” It didn’t take long before you were blissfully sighing his name, moaning and arching you back into him and the travel of his hands. You had to admit you were insanely turned on, but also, in your house you could turn the volume to 10, because that’s what he enjoyed. Andrew didn’t hurt you when you had sex, it wasn’t something that occurred to him; sure he held you tight enough to leave marks and scratches, but he wasn’t actively hurting you. So him being this rough was an unusual experience. But Andrew also didn’t usually talk, beyond the occasional phenomena of his own quiet sighs, and his whispers of your name. So, you weren’t sure if you had unlocked or awakened something in him that was always there, but he never knew you wanted, or Andrew was simply playing into your request – but the threatening growl in his voice as he spoke basically had you doing as he commanded on the spot, “I’m gonna make you cum over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and then when you can’t take it any more I’ll finally cum for you.” You whimpered your ‘what!?’ in such a way that it didn’t even sound like a word – your fingers clinging onto him and tangling into his shirt for dear life as he continued his reckless rhythm inside you. You felt too high on the feeling of him fucking you, but you would take him at his word – that was exactly what Andrew was going to do, unless you told him to stop. And he would, if he didn’t want to hurt you, he would. He'd be out the door faster than he could apologise if not. Did you want him to stop, was the question? Instead you responded in kind; “Fuck me Andrew. Do whatever you want with my body, it’s yours.”

Andrew didn’t say anything unless it was worth saying, unless he meant it (at least sober) - that was like an unwritten rule. Although maybe with you like this he wasn’t entirely sober, ever. But it felt so heat of the moment and foreign to him - what he was telling you wasn’t calculated… it wasn’t even truly blunt information but it turned you on. And that clench of your muscles around him was something that he could feel. The same way he could feel your pulse under his fingertips, and your warmth: that was your life, your heartbeat and it jumped with your excitement. The sound of it with the ticking of his watch; everything was suddenly so sensory to him. It ran wild the harsher he was with you and the harder you panted; desperate to take on more air. He didn’t have to associate that sound with life, either, he knew that noise when taking it. Andrew wasn’t sure if he was supposed to find that sexy or not; but he thought he did.

Every little sign of your body was all he needed; Andrew could pay attention to that minutia of detail, whether it be the sounds you made, or the shake that you fought so hard against, the movement of your body under his, how it felt to have your fingertips glide over him, for your lips to press into his skin, smaller tensions of resistance… but also how it felt to be inside you - how being a little rough and talking a little dirty seemed only to make you wetter, a little tighter, a lot more desperate for him - as if suddenly all your senses had heightened too. Maybe this was just something you both needed. But all of this was bringing you pleasure - that’s what mattered most. That Andrew was bringing you something positive; HE was doing this to you. He didn’t know why you stuck around; he gave you plenty of reason to leave. But you proved a point, even if really you knew you were only proving it to yourself; that Andrew Cody could make a positive impact on people’s lives. You wanted nothing more than to desperately confirm to him that he wasn’t just some tool his family could use for violence without mercy. Andrew could be this for someone; a life partner, needed, wanted, loved... And it wasn’t just you - but the way your whole family felt about him; Andrew deserved a real family.

He watched the sweat dance on your skin for a minute, acutely aware of the way your nails were digging into him; “Andrew, PLEASE, give me more-!” You weren’t just a someone though. You were you. You of all the damn people in this city, let alone the world. You could have anyone you wanted - you almost got married. Whether that man be long gone or not, occasionally it crossed Andrew’s mind that if it wasn’t for him coming into your life, your absolute fascination with him, the fact that this was practically an affair… you would be married right now; in some extravagant mansion in some fancy part of Melbourne. But you weren’t, you were with him - having loud rough sex in your apartment in a moment where you were thinking things didn’t get much better than that. Andrew proved to you that you didn’t have to settle for what you thought you wanted - but you could just as easily find what you really needed, even in the most unexpected of places. For Andrew, he couldn’t help but admit there was an excitement about the potential of corrupting someone not from his world, nor should have ever crossed the line into it. And yet here you were, beneath him.

He didn’t go back on any of his growled promises; and every time you came it felt different. Because this wasn’t just about one thing – not just the physical act; it was how you were feeling about him, and how Andrew felt for you. How he listened intently to what your body was telling him and changed it up - how you vocalised what you liked (and maybe when he got a little too rough). Emotions might have been hard to find in Andrew Cody but they were buried there somewhere, and they were real, and sometimes he gave you a glimpse of them. Even if it was just the look on his face right now, as you came for him again, and again, and again… The slight sympathy in his features as you begged him to cum for you, in short sharp breaths that he could really barely register as a sentence: hot and flushed and sweaty and spent… but his; completely his. Heart, Body, Mind and Soul. And Andrew didn’t need to look at the marks across your skin to know it.

By the time he did finally come undone inside you, your energy was completely drained, body shaking beneath his. You were both drenched in sweat and breathing hard – but every second had been worth it – and your body was singing from every single high you were still on. You couldn’t be sure you were even down from the first yet. You weren’t sure if your mental note should be: we should really do this again, or, we really should never do this again! So you’d put a pin in it for now, far too tired to do more than sift your fingers through his hair as he lay quietly on your chest listening to your heartbeat. Whatever that decision would be, you couldn’t help thinking on the fact that you wanted this more often, you would keep Andrew here if you could… If you thought that was ever possible. One day you’d work up the nerve to broach him moving in, for now you lay still and quiet. Now wasn’t the time… Now you just wanted to get lost in the way he made you feel. ** You had barely left the bed all weekend, if only to shower. (Which hardly ever turned out as innocent as it sounded). Usually exhausted, but hardly something to worry about. Andrew took good care of you. But he really had worn you out and after he’d set you on the sofa, so that he could change your sheets and tidy up, Andrew returned to your sleeping form. He tilted his head to watch you; remnants of that afterglow remained, smile on your face as your body curled up. Although you were tired you looked content, no worries.  Exactly how Andrew wished he could keep you. You were with him though, so that certainly wasn’t easy. He stooped, arms under your body as he pulled you into him. You groaned gently as he tipped you, head against his chest. Andrew gave pause again as you immediately sought the warmth of his body with a sleepy hum. His head gave an involuntary little shake as he carried you back to your bedroom. Depositing you back on your bed to curl up once more, Andrew stopped in the doorway only to make sure you had settled, before he closed the door on you and continued his tidying. *** Andrew thought about simply leaving, maybe it would have calmed down at home, maybe he could find somewhere else to lay low… But, although you’d talked this weekend you’d never quite broached the subject of why he was here. It wasn’t something important to you, he supposed, it wasn’t something you’d ask probably because usually you’d get a blunt answer. You didn’t need to know. And yet maybe this time you did. You were still sleeping when he re-entered your bedroom, and Andrew settled on the bed to watch you this time. However, your body didn’t stir, as it had when he’d arrived; you were relaxed and peaceful. Andrew knew you enough to know that you slept pretty light usually, but you seemed a lot deeper in this time around. He was right, you were exhausted. Through good things, at least. He placed his fingers gently to your neck, searching for the run of your pulse… when he found it Andrew applied increasing pressure, it changed under his fingertips; manipulated by his exertion on you – but when he did this, he could feel it stronger. That was your life under his fingertips; something that he could so easily take from you. And that thought almost scared him, you walked a razors edge - balanced constantly - and yet never seemed to let it faze you. You stood up to him without fear that he could turn around and kill you, even though Andrew knew how aware you were of that possibility. Andrew supposed you just never let it cross your mind. That you wouldn’t allow yourself to believe that your relationship could ever end that way. He would keep it to himself, of course, but Andrew had an uneasy feeling this relationship would only end when one of you was dead. Uncomfortable with the applied pressure, your body woke you; Andrew withdrew his hand fascinated with the way you took on more air as you awoke. It really would be that easy… You stretched slowly and turned to him, “Oh… my god. I-” you glanced to the clock, “…I’m sorry.” “You needed it.” Andrew gave a nonchalant shrug. “I thought you might leave.” “I considered it.” He was still being blunt, you weren’t all that sure Andrew would recognise the difference and let you down softly: “…I might need to overstay my welcome.” You pulled yourself up, taking his hand in yours, “You are always welcome here. What happened?” He would take his leave, if there wasn’t a reason he couldn’t return home. “You know.” “The same as before? So the police are after you?” You said it with an undertone of ‘I told you so’. “Appears that way.” “And you’re gonna tell me what it’s about?” That was a rare event. “…I told you.” He indicated, “But-” and shuffling over to his things he presented you with a large polished wooden box. You were immediately unsure you were going to like this, and opened the lid cautiously, only at the last second realising now your fingerprints were on this thing. ‘David would scream at me!’ You blew out a breath at the contents, unable to quite raise your eyes to his. The entire box was filled with drugs, of various types, surely you couldn’t name them all, but pills, needles and powder were all present in various shapes and colours. Spoils of war? The darker patches of brown you could see around the edges of the box were saying blood to you. You were silent for a long while, before you said the first thing you could really think of, “This... is a lot.” A lot for me. “I know.” You weren’t sure he let your sentence settle enough for him to really know. You became sad for a minute, fingers dancing across the surface of the box as you closed it, unsure of what to do. What you were supposed to do with this information now. Andrew continued, deciding to take the leap of: “I can’t be what you want me to be.” You raised your head, with a blink and looked at him; clear and true, dead in the eye: “I don’t want you to be anything.” You had never wanted him to be anything, you knew exactly who he was. “You might be what they say you are, Andrew.” Not that you would know, being so out of the loop. But you’d seen enough, in your opinion far too much, “But that is not ALL you are.” I know you... I. Know. You. You could think of nothing else than to gather him to you, you didn’t care if he reciprocated or not – it was something you needed to do. Even if it was only for yourself. You buried your head in his shoulder, lacing yours fingers with his. Andrew wasn’t looking at you, he wasn’t even really giving you anything back. But he wasn’t pulling away from you either – and that was just as important. You rubbed his arm affectionately, running up to his collar. Those blue eyes trailed to yours; and you held him there. Your voice was gentle, voicing the only thing that really mattered to you in this moment – his own safety. “Stay as long as you need, we’ll get through this, we always do.”

You always would.

---

Thank yoooooou for reading! 💙💜

[ticklikeabomb]

The Medusas - Part 6

Pairing : Mayans MC x Plus Size Reader 

Warnings : Language

Word Count : 1.9k

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, nor the universe where they were created and interact in. This series/fiction is only for entertainment purposes.

2014

“Motherfucker”, mumbled Tig under his breath. The Mayan in front of him, licked his lips, a smug smile on his face, reaching out for his prize. “Another one”, Tragger shook his head and looked at his poker opponent. “I already have all your cash, what else do you want to trade?”, stated Tranq with humor. The Son looked around and his eyes landed on Chucky. “Let’s put Chucky on the table”, he pointed at the man in question. The other Sons manifested their disagreement but Tig cut short to their chatting, “Shut up, I won’t lose this time. I can feel it”, he blew on his fingertips, his eyes trained on Tranq. “If you insist”, smirked the Mayan. The Son lost in the following minutes, getting pushed by his brothers because of his defeat. The crew patted Tranq’s shoulder in victory. “Chuckyy”, yelled the SOA’s President. “Yes Chibs”, replied the other. “I’m sorry but I’m afraid your time here with us is done. You’re with the Mayans now.” Chucky looked at the concerned before exclaiming “I accept that”. The Sons said their goodbyes to the man and saw him leave with the Mayans.

A few months later

Chucky heard the roaring of the motorcycles diminish the second they penetrated the yard. Walking out from his small office, he received at the clubhouse’s steps. He greeted Tranq and Taza before turning to Bishop and explaining him the tasks he did so far. “I also prepared my specialty for tonight’s dinner”, he happily stated. Bishop graced him with a smile and thanked him. He was making his way inside the clubhouse when Chucky interpellated him, “Oh and you received a postcard. I didn’t know you had a daughter.” Bishop quickly shared a look with Tranq and Taza, the three men approaching Chucky.

“What did you just say?”, asked Bishop not sure if he heard him correctly the first time. “There is a card from a Y/N Losa. Isn’t it your daughter, since it’s the same last name?” “Where?”, Bishop asked him, his hands grabbing Chucky’s arms. “I put it on the table next to the Templo’s entry”, his anxiety kicking in. As soon as he replied, Bishop sprinted the stairs up, making his way as soon as possible to the table. “Did I do something bad?”, mumbled Chucky under his breath, overwhelmed. Taza calmed him down, informing he did nothing and explained Chucky the importance of the card in question. “Keep an eye if there are more postcards and if so, call us immediately.” “I will”, replied Chucky, relieved.

Hey Dad

I hope I still can refer to you as such. I would understand if it wasn’t the case. I hope you and the others are alright. I just wanted to let you know that I’m ok. I’m finally figuring myself out.

I miss you deeply.

Love Y/N

Taza and Tranq stood by the entry, looking down at their freshly elected President, the postcard in his hands. Feeling their eyes on him, he stood up and made his way inside the Templo making sure to close the door behind them. A million different emotions crossed him like a typhon: sadness, anger, hope, relieve. You were alive and apparently alright. He cleaned his tears and took a deep breath before placing the card on his heart, “Of course, you will always be my little girl, querida.” Taking another look, he focused on the address where it was shipped from and exited the Templo. He got his brothers attention by pointing at the address. “Call the others. We’re going on a road trip.”

Memphis

Three days later, the Mayans were seen walking on the animated Beale Street. Bishop turned towards Taza, “Is everything arranged?” “Yeah the sorority knows we’re here. They invited us to stay at their clubhouse for a couple of nights”, he responded. “Good. Alvarez wasn’t joking when he said that the Medusa MC was everywhere”, declared the President. “Hey, I found it”, exclaimed Gilly and pointed at the Tattoo shop. They make their way inside and are greeted a minute later by the owner. “Hello, how can I help you?”, they asked. Bishop took the postcard out of his kutte and showed it to them. “Do you have any information regarding this card? The woman who send it?” They chuckled before nodding at their kutte. “The father I suppose. I figured, your jackets and all. Yeah, she was here a few days ago. She told me you would come.”

“Did she say where she would go next?”, inquired Taza. The owner shook his head and told them they had no idea. “She left something for you, though”, they said and gave him a note. Bishop immediately recognized your handwriting, giving him the confirmation, you were there. ‘Chose a design and get yourself a threat. It’s on me.’ “What’s this?”, he turned to the owner and tattoo artist. “Seems to me that she paid for your next tattoo”, they shrugged. “I’ll leave you a few minutes to choose what you’ll be having.” He sighed, his hands going on his head, unable to contain his frustration. “What are you gonna do?”, asked Coco. A minute later, Bishop stood up and declared, “I’m getting a fucking tattoo”, and joined the tattoo artist preparing the colors and machine behind the curtains.

2015 - 2016

Each time Chucky would call one of the Mayans and inform them about a new postcard of yours, Bishop decided to travel to the location indicated in the card. The second time they rode their bikes guided by you was to El Paso’s Municipal Rose Garden in Texas. Once there, they infiltrated a tourist guide tour, looking around for any clues. At the end of the tour, the guide walked towards the Mayans. “Did you enjoy the tour?”, he asked. “Sure”, smiled Taza. “I’m glad. Now you may pay for the actual visit”, the guide stated and pointed at them to the counter at the end of the way. Angel started to lit a cigarette when the guide’s hand took it from his lips, “No smoking in here!”. Angel’s looked at him surprised at his audacity to publicly correct him in front of his brothers. Bishop gave the Mayan a deadly glare before apologizing on his behalf to the guide. Once arrived at the counter, the men paid for their visit, the cashier’s eyes lingering on their kuttes. “Excuse me, I’ll be right back”, the employee told them. She came back with two garnished rose bouquets and made sure Bishop got the clue. Depositing the bouquets to the men’s arms, she smiled and added an envelope to the bouquets.

“We did all this way just for a bunch of flowers?”, commented Angel with irritation while Bishop went over the note left by you on inside the envelope. He shook his head, a small smile gracing his features. “Shut up”, Bish told Angel before passing him one of the bouquets. He frowned at his President’s motion and fixed his attention to the little card attached to the bouquet, ‘Marisol’, written on it. He opened the card and read the words marked on it, his breath getting stuck on his pipeline for a second.

‘Thank you for everything. You were the mother everyone deserves to have. Always in my heart, Y/N Losa.’

After cleaning his tears off, Angel and the others made their way back to Santo Padre. Bishop stopped at Martha’s and offered him the bouquet you left for her. The two ex-lovers spend the rest of the night catching on their respective lives while Angel stopped at his father’s, setting the other bouquet in a vase next to his mother’s urn. From that day, the Mayans noticed Bishop spending more and more time with Martha, the old flame slowly awake again.

Your third card came a year later, in 2016. The adventure led the Mayans to Denver this time, where they found out you offered them a visit at the Museo De Las Americas. At first hesitant, the crew became fond of these little trips, a way to not only hit the roads but also come closer as a group. It was that moment in the year where they could just let go and not focus on the shit going on back home.

2017

The fourth card came from Utah. This time, El Padrino decided to tag along. They ended up at the Outlaw Distillery, where they discovered the processes on how whiskey and other alcohols are produced. “This is what I’m talking about. This my jam”, declared Neron ‘Creeper’ when seeing where they landed, making the others laugh. There was a collective holler once the owner of the distillery offered each Mayan a bottle, saying it was paid for in advance. Bishop distanced himself from his man and followed the owner. “Excuse me but how could she pay for all of this?”, he asked him. The owner lifted his hands up in defense, stating that he didn’t know and didn’t ask. “I just accepted the payment.” Bishop nodded, “Was it the first time she came by?” He saw the uneasiness on the man’s features. “No, she’s been here some times.”

“Can I ask you for a favor?”, Bishop turned to the other who nodded. “Next time she comes here, could you give her this and tell her to come home?”, he said and furnished him a small velvet box. “I have a daughter myself. I can’t imagine what it is like to lose her. … If Y/N stops by I’ll let her know. You have my word”, stated the owner.

A week later

Cooper’s head lifts up from the papers in front of him once hearing the door’s bell ring. “Hey Coop”, you greet him at the counter, making him smile. “Hey Y/N, hey Ruby, how are you ladies?” “Not bad, not bad. You got our order?”, nodded Ruby. “Sure thing”, replied Cooper, the Outlaw Distillery’s owner, calling out for his employee. Ruby followed the employee while you waited for them at the counter, feeling Cooper’s gaze burning a hole on you. Your eyes locked with his, “How was, you know?”, you asked him. He took a deep breath before telling you how it went with your father. “By the way he left this for you”, he added to which your eyes widened. He set the box in front of you, seeing your face decompose, a hurricane of emotions crossing your features. You reached out to the box and opened it, revealing a gold necklace ornamented with an engraved coin, your father’s initials on it. You quickly cleaned the tear sliding on your face, trying to conceal your emotions. “He also told me to tell you to come back home”, commented Cooper. You nodded processing his words before looking up at him again. “Thanks Coop”, you simply replied. Ruby came back with the order, her attitude switching once seeing your glossy eyes. Her hand landed on her gun but you stopped her, your fingers reaching hers, shaking your head. “We have road to do”, you tell her and assure her that everything was alright.

You and Ruby stop at the gas station after a couple hours to stretch your body and get some coffee. That’s the moment where you tell and show her the necklace. “Are you going to see him?”, she inquired hesitantly. “Yeah…someday.” She hummed, reaching to her helmet. “Life is short. You could lose the ones you love any second. Don’t wait up too long. It’s hurting you as much as it must hurt him”, she affirmed. Your smile gracing your face turned into a chuckle before exclaiming, “So wise.” “Oh fuck you”, she joked. “That’s the plan”, you winked at her and saw her shake her head, laughing. You made your way to your next stop, Charming.

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[taexual]

HOLIC - 46 | jb x reader

pairing: Im Jaebum x Reader

genre: enemies to lovers au | roommate au

warnings: angst + some conflict resolution

words: 3k

disclaimer: i do not own the gif, please let me know if it belongs to you, so i can give proper credit

           prev / next

You’d left a hundred voicemails. You'd called a thousand times. You’d sent a million texts. And yet, even despite your ruthless ambush, Jaebum – in an equally as ruthless manner – still did not reply to you. That was understandable, however, and, more than expected, really – but it still brought you great distress.

You didn’t know where he was and, after having stayed awake the entire night, trying to get ahold of him and waiting for him to return home, you suddenly weren’t too sure where you were, either. Your own room felt foreign and the apartment itself lost all of its’ familiarity.

Finally, at around five in the morning (or, in other words, about five centuries later), your phone rang with a text from Jaebum. You nearly gave yourself whiplash as you leaped from your spot on the bed to reach your phone that you’d left charging across the room.

His text was short and right to the point – he was simply letting you know he was with his friend – but the very fact that he had texted you lifted some of the heaviness off your shoulders. There was plenty more of it still there, though, and you crouched down, hugging your knees to your chest as you re-read Jaebum’s text message another dozen times.

You wanted to call Mark and Jackson to see if he was with them but then you paused. Jaebum obviously needed some space – and time – right now. And, although you felt like he’d left the apartment a long while ago, it was obviously not long enough.

You were dying to explain yourself but you also recognized that he needed to be away from you for a little while longer. The text he’d sent you sparked a new hope that this period of you and him being away from each other wouldn’t last long. You just had to endure it without losing your mind completely. The text had to mean that he knew you cared about him – even despite what you’d done – and he didn’t want you to crawl out of your skin with worry – even if that was precisely what you’ve been doing since he’d left – which, in turn, had to mean that he cared about you, too. But you knew that already – you didn’t need his text to show you that; his reaction when you told him about Jiho was proof enough.

You’d postponed the conversation so you wouldn’t hurt Jaebum and, predictably, you ended up doing so anyway.

Giving him some space was the right thing to do now, so you let him be. Until, a few hours later, you couldn’t take it anymore. It had started to feel like the more space you were giving him, the more place you left for his doubts to take over him. Soon, there would be no space left in his mind to hear you explain what had happened in the past few weeks.

But, just like before, no matter how much you called or texted, Jaebum didn’t answer. Shortly, he turned his phone off altogether. The phone could have died, of course, but still, hearing the operator announce that the person you were trying to reach was unavailable felt very personal. It felt like he’d turned his phone off specifically to avoid seeing your name on his screen.

You knew you called this upon yourself by not telling him earlier but knowing didn’t make this easier. If anything, the guilt you were feeling only seemed to magnify whenever you allowed yourself to think about how easily this could have been avoided.

Jaebum didn’t return home the whole night—this wasn’t the first Sunday night you’ve spent awake but it certainly was the most significant one—and, although your heart had already torn itself into the smallest pieces, you resisted and gave him the space he needed. You still called periodically and left as many messages as you could before your service provider got concerned, but you weren’t going out of your way to get him to respond to you.

By Monday afternoon, you were really only leaving him voice messages so he'd know that you really did care about him and you were aware of how big of a mistake you’ve made by not talking to him about this sooner.

By Monday night, however, you’ve started to have auditory hallucinations and lost count of how many times you thought you’d heard the lock of your apartment door click. Choosing to wait until nighttime, in case Jaebum would choose to return home after all, you sat patiently in your kitchen, doing anything and everything to keep your gaze from shifting to the door.

You wondered if Jaebum would have admired your loyalty – he’d have certainly called you clingy and, perhaps, even compared you to a dog waiting for its’ owner to come home – or if he’d have hated to know that you were still waiting for him to return even after what you’ve done. Frankly, you didn’t spend all of this time sulking ��� you got angry a couple of times, too. Sometimes, you’d think you didn’t do anything wrong – really, nothing happened between you and Jiho; you were just working on your career in the only way that was possible – but, immediately after, you’d find yourself admitting that this wasn’t even the real problem here.

Jaebum didn’t really storm out of your apartment just because you were working with Jiho and he hated the guy. He left because you worked with Jiho behind his back, purposefully dodging his questions about your work just so you wouldn’t have to admit the truth. Even after giving you a fair amount of openings – not that you needed an excuse to share the events of your day with him, considering your relationship status – you still stayed quiet, choosing vague words and plain silence as a way to answer his questions. It was a form of defense in a way and, consequently, a form of lying.

While you listened to Jaebum give you breakdowns of his day and updates on his career, you did not reciprocate and secretly cherished his carefulness – how many times did you thank God that Jaebum was so understanding and so willing to ignore your unusual behavior? – and that was so much worse than just lying about Jiho to him.

When your alarm clock rang the next morning, you got out of bed with a definite plan – you would seek both Mark and Jackson out to see if Jaebum was staying with either of them and you would do anything in your power to talk to him and explain. You could only give him space to think for so long before you drowned in your own thoughts and watched him to drown in his.

Before you could follow your plan – although, perhaps calling it a plan was generous; you really had no idea what you were going to say to his friends if they even agreed to help you – you still had to get through a full day of work at the gallery.

Having always dreaded to see Jiho there, you didn’t really expect today to be any different but a surprise awaited you on your phone when you picked it up to check the time after exiting your car outside of your gallery. It was a text notification from Hyojin, warning you about an article, evidently recounting the photography event you and Jiho had gone to on Friday night. Your stomach sunk before you even opened it, completely disregarding the message your friend wrote before she attached the link.

Instead of reading Jiho’s recap of the event – he’d sworn he would use your pictures for it but you ended up not taking any – you were forced to read through another pile of tabloid-like garbage that, predictably, focused completely on your relationship with Jiho.

Now, on the one hand, the article proved that Jiho’s publicity stunt was a complete success – you nearly suffocated when you saw a picture of yourself leaving the gallery and Jiho storming off after you, an ominous “young photographer couple” written in the description of the shot; clearly, you and him have been noticed – but, on the other hand, not a single sentence in the entire article even mentioned your aspiration to become a successful photographer.

Not only did the writers – tipped off by Jiho, no doubt – assumed that you and him were together but they also allowed themselves to speculate if, perhaps, you and him were going to be the next big artist-and-his-muse names in the world of photography. They even went as far as to compare you and him to Andy Warhol and Edie Sedgwick – which was right on point, considering that Edie was, really, one of many Warhol’s muses – further proving that they didn’t even consider you a photographer. At least, not in the literal sense of the word – they saw the camera in your hands and pointed it out in the description of another photograph of you by the entrance to the gallery. But Jiho was “the photographer” and, according to the writers, in the relationship hierarchy, you were either Jiho’s apprentice (the writers dismissed the possibility after merely toying with it for a sentence of two) or his muse. Not his colleague. Not a photographer. Barely even a person, really.

Beyond frustrated, you walked through the double doors of the gallery and, before you could toss your phone across the empty foyer, you caught sight of Jiho, talking to someone on the phone next to the staircase. You really considered strangling him for a hot minute but, after taking a few deep breaths, you decided to handle this like an adult – or, as close to one as you could get with your blood boiling and pulse pounding in your ears.

“Did you fucking read this?” you demanded as soon as you reached him, pushing your phone to his face. “This is the second god-damn time this happens.”

“Wh—I’m—l-let me call you back,” Jiho said before hanging up the call and putting his phone away so he could focus on yours. He squinted as he read the headline. “Oh, so we’ve definitely been seen, huh? That’s good.”

“That’s not good,” you disagreed. “And we were not seen at all. You were. I was your shadow if even that. Again!”

Jiho wasn’t listening to you as his eyes continued to scan the contents of the article.

“Your little stunt of leaving early worked out nicely, too,” he added in regards to the last bit of the article that recounted, in epic little detail, how you left the event early and Jiho “followed right after like a love-sick puppy”.

“It wasn’t—Jesus, how much money did you pay to get them to write this bullshit?” you asked, retrieving your phone after noticing that it didn’t bring the expected result – not that you knew what you were expecting; it was hard to imagine Jiho doing something other than grinning like a deformed jack-o-lantern.

“You think I paid for this?” Jiho’s eyebrows reached his hairline. “Wow, you must think I’m a millionaire.”

“What are you talking about? You knew so many people who were there—”

“So, I talked to them,” he said as if that was the most obvious thing in the world. Probably rolled his eyes, too, but you weren’t looking at him – you were reading the article and further fueling your anger. “I mean, some damage control had to be done, you caused quite a fuss there. I tried to give the others the impression that—”

“This is your fault, then!” you cut him off with a high-pitched shriek that he seemed to flinch away from.

“I’m not sure I understand what I’m being accused of, here,” he said as calmly as he could. The calmness was a façade, as you’ve already learned, and the veins on his neck were becoming more prominent by the second. “We needed exposure and we got it. What’s the problem?”

“What kind of exposure is this? You told me this wouldn’t seem like a romantic relationship. That they would focus on our professional relation instead of twisting it around to make it seem like—”

“Professional relationships don’t sell nearly as well as—”

“Sell?” you scoffed. “What are these people buying, exactly? That you’re a photographer? Well, they knew that already, I would hope. Or you’ve surely wasted the past years of your life.”

“Right—”

“There’s not really much else in there about me. Except that I’m—”

Seemingly having had enough of your endless tirade, Jiho crossed his arms over his chest, cutting you off, “maybe if you wanted there to be more descriptions of you, you shouldn’t have left early.”

“Oh, so they could have taken more pictures of us to strengthen their narrative of us being romantically involved? No. That’s not okay,” you shook your head, finding it difficult to voice your thoughts rationally and not start screaming. Screaming would have felt so nice. “These articles… they’re not helping anyone but you. Next week, they can write one about you and some other “muse” you’ve brought to a photography event. No one will give a shit about me. I agreed to do this to get myself more exposure as a photographer. Instead, I’m just a new toy you can play around with to get yourself more well-known.”

“Listen, you have this warped sense of how this works,” Jiho said. His patronizing voice made you clench your fists. “These things take time. You think you’ll get popular overnight—”

“Don’t tell me what I think!” you yelled, your patience wearing thin.

“Okay, alright. I’m sorry,” he said, not sounding one bit apologetic. He just felt like he was winning because you were suddenly shouting and he was still successful at resisting to raise his voice. “Let’s not talk about this here—”

You took a deep breath and closed your eyes for a second or two – purely a precaution so you wouldn’t punch him and get yourself fired – even if you were already one step away from quitting – and probably arrested.

“There’s nothing to talk about,” you said then. “This is the last article depicting me as someone’s rumored girlfriend.”

Jiho didn’t seem surprised to hear this.

“See, that’s good because, actually, I’m having second thoughts about this, too,” he said, the bitter tone of his voice dripping with arrogance and entitlement. “Clearly, you’ve got it in your head that you’re in a position to demand an exhibition when you’re virtually nothing in the photography world. You don’t listen to a single word I say and you have enough guts to give me ultimatums as if you know how this works better than I do. I don’t know who you think you are but this is not how any of this works. All I did was try to help you—”

You thought you could only recall one other instance when you felt this frustrated – and more than ready to either rip all of your hair out or to beat Jiho to a pulp – and that was when you met up with Suji and had to listen to her boast about her happy relationship with Jaebum. My God, what a pair her and Jiho would have made – both bull-headed, arrogant, and so unbelievably thick, it was a miracle they’ve gotten this far in life without getting all of their teeth knocked out.

“This was no help for me,” you said through clenched teeth and then unlocked your phone to see the headline of the article again. You pointed your phone at him as proof. “This was all for you.”

“It was meant to help both of us and the gallery we represent—”

“Oh, open your fucking eyes, the gallery’s not even mentioned in the article,” you groaned.

Jiho swallowed, an undeniable – and very well-executed – image of someone who felt wronged and disrespected evident on his face.

“This isn’t working,” he stated, then, obviously taking immense pleasure in having the ability to say this. He knew he was above you in this situation and he relished it. “I’ve lost count of how many rules listed in the contract you’ve broken and yet I closed my eyes, thinking it’d be worth it. I don’t really think so anymore. I think you’re too full of senseless pride and I’m afraid I can’t work with that. You told me you’d quit if we didn’t host your exhibition and, admittedly, that caught me off-guard and, perhaps, even impressed me. But I can see everything clearly now – you’re absolutely not the sort of artist we’re looking for.”

“What sort of artists are you looking for?” you asked, your blood hot and about to pour out of your ears in rapid squirts of burning rage. “Pushovers, willing to follow you around like newborn puppies? Fresh, vulnerable university graduates who lack the spine to tell you that what you’re doing is preying on their lack of experience and using them to your own gain?”

“I’m sorry if that’s how you feel,” Jiho said. “Unfortunately, this partnership is over. Don’t worry about the contract anymore. We’re not going to be hosting your—”

“Oh, good! Perfect!” you shouted before he could finish. “I never wanted to work with you in the first place.”

You turned around, walking away, but Jiho couldn’t resist not having the last word. He simply felt too proud to let you leave this easily.

“Hopefully you’ll continue to feel that way,” he called out after you, “because you can forget all about your dream of hosting your own exhibition.”

You didn’t want to turn around and say something else because it felt like admitting defeat but you couldn’t resist it. You’ve still had a few things you’ve always wanted to say to him and now was finally the time to stop holding yourself back.

“Fuck you,” you dropped over your shoulder, your expression – finally – calm. “And fuck that exhibition. That’s not what my dream is.”

       chapter directory

[kpoptrashibnida]

Enough Pt. 7

A/N: Sorry about the delay everyone! It’s been a hectic week and I wasn’t able to write as much as I would have liked. But finally here is Part 7!!!!! I hope you guys all enjoy it and don’t be shy to let me know what you think! Also, big DISCLAIMER: I think i used the word smiled a little too often in this chapter. I hope you’re not as annoyed by it as I am. Anyway, enough of that; here is part 7! Happy Reading!!!

Your first week working in the New York branch went by extremely fast. Everyone had been extremely welcoming and you loved your team. There were a few receptionists here and there that did not seem too keen on your arrival, but you ignored them because you were there to work and you were their superior; therefore, you were not going to engage in any kind of workplace drama. 

Mark and Johnny have been extremely helpful to you that first week, introducing you to everyone and teaching you the ropes of the company. Jaehyun has also been helpful, but he had been so busy that week, he had not been able to help you as much as he would have liked. You didn’t really mind though, since every time he was around your mind would not work properly and you had severe hypertension. He would stop by once in a while to your office to see how you were doing or if you needed something, which was extremely sweet of him and most likely the reason why a certain receptionist wasn’t too fond of you. 

“Hey, working hard or hardly working?” Jaehyun teases as he walked in your office, holding two cups of coffee.

“I’m working hard at hardly working.” You said with a grin, playing along with him and making him chuckle.

“I usually need another cup by 10 am, so I figured you might need one too.” Jaehyun said as he walked over to your desk, placing the cup of coffee in front of you and taking a seat on one of the chairs.

“You know, I was thinking about getting some coffee. It’s like you read my mind.” You said with a smile, happily accepting the cup of coffee he brought. Taking a sip, your face lit up once you realized it’s the same coffee you always get.

“This is my favorite coffee! How did you know?” You asked, pivoting your body away from your computer and towards the handsome man in your office.

“This is going to sound a bit stalker-ish, but I sort of asked the barista what your order was.” His ears turn extremely red after his confession, which was a cute tell sign of when he was embarrassed. 

“That’s extremely sweet of you, thanks.” You smiled, you couldn’t believe he went out of his way just to get you some coffee.

“So, got any plans this weekend?” He asked, leg bouncing rapidly and you didn’t know if he was embarrassed or if it had something to do with the coffee. 

“Super exciting stuff actually. I’m gonna go grocery shopping and clothes shopping. I know, so much fun.” You said sarcastically which made Jaehyun laugh.

He saw that this was the perfect opportunity to spend some time with you and he did not want to let it go to waste. 

“Do you want some company? I wouldn’t mind tagging along.” He really hoped you’d say yes, not sure if he’d be able to handle rejection at the moment. 

Your heart skipped a beat at his question. Was he being nice or did this mean he was interested in you?

‘Don’t flatter yourself bitch, he’s probably just being nice.’ You thought, feeling silly at the fact that he could potentially be into you.

“Actually, some company would be nice. I’ll need someone to help me carry all the bags.” You smile cheekily, making a gorgeous smile form on Jaehyun’s face. 

“Cool, where would you like to meet?” He asked, trying not to act too excited at the fact that you wanted his company.

“Shall we meet at Times Square? There’s a lot of clothing shops there.” You said, not knowing where exactly the best stores were. You were not quite familiarized with New York yet. 

“Sounds good. Let’s meet in front of the Steps and we can go from there.” He offered, which you agreed to happily. He bid farewell and left your office, leaving you behind and feeling tingly all over from excitement. You closed your eyes and sighed heavily, knowing you were in deep shit if the thought of Jaehyun going shopping with you made you this excited. 

It was the end of the day and you left your office feeling extremely fatigued from your first week. Since the state of your fridge was very sad and pathetic, you decided to grab some Chinese food on the way home. 

You had just arrived home when your phone started ringing. You looked at your screen and saw Mina’s name appear, making you smile and answer immediately.

“Mina! Oh my gosh, I am so happy to hear from you!” You exclaimed happily, truly missing your best friend. 

“Babe! I miss you so much! Work isn’t the same without you! How have you been? How’s the new job? The new apartment? Is everyone nice? Do I need to kick anyone’s ass? Ooh any hot guys?” Mina managed to say all that in one breath, making you laugh at her interrogation. 

“Well work has been great, everyone on my team is so nice. The new apartment is amazing! We should video chat so I can give you a tour. And there is a hot guy in the PR department….” You said slyly, knowing your best friend was going to freak out and ask for details.

“Bitch give me the tea!!! What’s his name? How hot is he exactly?” 

“Well, his name is Jaehyun and he is like a 15 out of 10. He’s so gorgeous!” You sighed dreamily, chuckling when you heard Mina screech from the other side of the line.

“Do you have a photo? I have got to see what this guy looks like.” She said curiously.

“I don’t. But I might take one with him tomorrow. He’s going shopping with me.”

You had to pull the phone away from your ear at Mina’s screaming, laughing loudly when you heard Suho’s panicked voice from the other end. Mina apologizes to him and told him that she was just excited.

“Oh my god. Is it a date? Are you gonna do the nasty?” 

“Mina, shut the fuck up! We are just friends and he was kind enough to offer to help me since I’m new.” You scolded her, thankful that she was across the world and couldn’t see the way your face heated up at her racy words.

“Okay okay I’m sorry. You gotta send me a photo though.” She insisted 

“Yeah yeah I will.” You smiled, glancing longingly to your Chinese food, which was probably cold by now.

“So, guess who’s been asking for you..” Mina said, making you furrow your eyebrow.

“Who?” You asked as you took out your food containers, doing a little happy dance when you saw they were still hot.

“Chanyeol…” She said cautiously, making you pause your actions. 

“That’s surprising. You didn’t tell him where I am, right?” You asked, not wanting him to know anything about you.

“Of course not! I even told Suho to keep him in the dark. I guess he’s been trying to get in contact with you but hasn’t been able to.” She explained.

“Yeah, well that’s because I blocked him.” You said, taking a bite of your delicious food.

“Damn, that’s pretty badass.” She said impressed.

“I wanted a clean break. And I didn’t want him texting me when he felt like he wanted his favorite fuck buddy.” You shrugged, not really in the mood to talk about Chanyeol. 

“Makes sense. Well babe, I’ll let you go. I’m glad you’re doing well. Don’t forget to send me a photo tomorrow. I love you.” 

“Love you too.” You said before hanging up. You ate your food in silence, not wanting to think about Chanyeol and the fact that he’s been trying to get in contact with you. 

‘It’s not that deep. He probably just wanted to come over to mess around. I’m sure he has many other options.’ You thought bitterly, shaking your head to rid your thoughts and focus on the fact that you were going to have a great time with Jaehyun tomorrow.

***

“Hey! Have you been waiting long?” You asked Jaehyun as you approached him, surprised to see that he was waiting for you already. 

“No, I’ve been here for like five minutes. I stopped by for some coffee first.” He said with his signature smile, handing you a coffee cup. 

“Oh gosh you’re the best. Thank you!” You said happily, accepting the cup from him. You took in his appearance and you weren’t sure why you were as affected as you were. He wore plain dark jeans with a cream turtleneck shirt and a tan coat, his hair styled away from his forehead, looking every bit boyfriend material.

“So there’s a store down the block that has great professional attire. Want to go there first?” He asks, both of you walking away from the large crowd.

“Yeah that’s perfect.” You agreed, following him through the throngs of people 

Jaehyun recommended a clothing store that had plenty of professional options, he was actually being extremely helpful and was helping you choose nice pieces. You couldn’t help but feel warm and tingly at his attention and how genuine his help seemed. You didn’t want to go there, but you can't help yourself. You knew that Chanyeol would never in a million years would want to go shopping with you. He wasn’t about buying clothes but taking them off of you. You shook the thought away, knowing that it wasn’t fair to compare Jaehyun to Chanyeol, they were completely different people.

After purchasing a couple blouses, skirts, pants and blazers, you guys headed out to a different store. You needed to buy some shoes and coats for the winter that was soon approaching. Jaehyun helped carry your bags, insisting that you needed both hands free in order to shop effectively. He trailed behind you as you looked through the racks of clothing, making conversation and making you laugh. You couldn’t help but notice the glances and stares from other women in the clothing store, eyeing Jaehyun and giving you a dismissive glance. You smirked to yourself, finding their petty jealousy funny; and you couldn’t help but feel victorious because he was there with you, even if it was just as a friend. 

“So, I’m getting pretty hungry, any thoughts about dinner?” Jaehyun asked as you both walked out of the store, your own stomach grumbling a bit.

“We should get something soon, I am getting hungry too. I’m good with anything though.” You said as you walked towards your last stop of the day.

Jaehyun’s phone rang and he took it out, answering with an eye roll.

“What do you want?” He asked, making his friend on the other line laugh because of his attitude.

“Come on man, you’re happy to hear from me. Hey so Mark and I are bored and we should go eat something together.” Johnny said, grabbing his keys with a happy Mark trailing behind him.

“I can’t, I have plans.“ Jaehyun said, glancing over at you and noticing you had stopped at a pretzel cart. He smiled when he saw you bouncing happily on your feet, excitedly waiting for your pretzel to be done.

“With whom? Is it a hot date?” Johnny asked, intrigued at his friends secretiveness.

“None of your business.” Jaehyun said, making Johnny howl while Mark made kissy noises. “Real mature guys.” Jaehyun rolled his eyes at his friends childish antics, questioning why he’s even friends with them.

“Hey, sorry I got so hungry and had to get one. Want some?” You offered as you walked up to Jaehyun, not noticing that he was on the phone.

“It’s okay.” He said softly, smiling as he watched you bite into your pretzel.

“Oh my god. Is that who i think it is?” Johnny exclaimed excitedly, hurting Jaehyun’s eardrum.

“Bro! Is it really?” Mark asked, his voice going up a couple octaves.

“Guys, shut up. I’m hanging up.” Jaehyun warned, not wanting to deal with their crap.

“Who are you talking to?” You asked curiously, amused at how stressed Jaehyun looked.

“Johnny and Mark.” Jaehyun said, giving you a tight lipped smile.

“Oh! Can I say hi?” You asked

Jaehyun gave the phone over to you, not being able to deny you of your request. He was a little surprised at himself, but he knew he was attracted to you the second he saw you, so he shouldn't be so surprised.

“Hey guys! How’s it going?” You asked, your bubbly voice making Johnny chuckle and Jaehyun’s chest constrict.

“We were just telling Jaehyun that we wanted to grab something to eat, but I guess you guys are busy.” Johnny pouted, making you giggle at his playfulness. 

“Why don’t we all get dinner together? I have one more store I’m going to and then we are done.” You informed, not noticing Jaehyun’s frown of displeasure. He loved hanging out with Mark and Johnny, but he really wanted to spend some time alone with you.

“Sounds like a plan! Why don’t we have dinner at your place? Mark and I will bring food and drinks and meet you and Jaehyun there.” Johnny proposed. You agreed and said goodbye, hanging up and handing the phone back to Jaehyun.

“So what’s the plan?” Jaehyun asked.

“We are going to have dinner at my place. They’re bringing food and drinks.” You said, stopping in front of the last stop if your shopping spree.

“Sounds good.” He said, trying to hide the displeasure in his voice. He’d much rather have dinner just with you.

“Did you want to wait for me out here?” You asked, not sure if he would want to go inside with you.

“Yeah, I’ll go…” he trailed off, as he looked up to see what store you were going into. It was Victoria’s Secret. “In with you.” He finally finished his sentence. Gulping are his stupidity, he should have looked up before giving an answer.

“Okay.” You smiled shyly, not expecting his answer. “Let’s go.” 

‘Fuck! Fuck! Shit! Fuck! I hope she doesn’t think I’m a pervert! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!’

You entered the store with Jaehyun trailing behind you, still carrying all of your bags. You felt really bad for him, so you told him to sit on a bench inside the store while you do your shopping. He sat down and tried not to look around the store. He got a few glances from women there, some curious and others disgusted. He glanced over to where you were and saw that you picked up a black lace bra and panty set. Looking away quickly, he felt his ears get hot from the sight of the pretty undergarments. He really felt like a big pervert at that moment and hoped you hadn’t noticed him looking.

“I’m going to go pay now.” You let him know, a few items in your hands

“I’ll come with you.” He said as he got up, trailing behind you as you got in line. 

He tried really hard not to look, he really did, but he couldn’t help himself. He wished he hadn’t looked as he saw your lacey black, white and cream items being wrapped and bagged. When you left the store, you noticed his ears were bright red. You felt a little bad, but you couldn’t help the small smile that took over your face. It was an extremely cute sight. You took some of your bags back and stuffed your smaller Victoria’s Secret bag inside another shopping bag. 

You decided to take and Uber back home since taking the subway with so many bags was going to be tricky and uncomfortable. The ride to your house was quiet but comfortable, the soft music was calming as you closed your eyes. It was a long day and your feet were aching, who knew shopping could be so tiring.

Walking into your apartment, you place your shopping bags in your room, telling Jaehyun to make himself at home. He sat down on your couch and stretched out, also tired from his long day of shopping with you.

Before you could leave your room, you heard the doorbell ring, telling Jaehyun you would get the door.

“Hey! We are here and we brought the goods!” Johnny announces as you open the door, hands full of food bags

“Woot woot!” Mark exclaims behind him, waving the alcoholic beverages in his hands.

“Come in guys! You can leave the stuff on the table.” You told them as they walked into your apartment, taking their shoes off at the door.

“What’s up man!” Johnny greeted Jaehyun, the other man giving him a halfhearted response, making Johnny laugh. 

“We brought Chinese food, I hope that’s okay.” Mark said, taking the containers out of the paper bags.

“That’s perfect! Let’s eat guys, I’m starving!” You said, placing plates and silverware on the table for the guys to use.

You all started to eat and make conversation, talking about what you've been up to on the weekend.

“Oh so Jaehyun kindly offered to help you shop today? That’s so sweet!” Johnny cooed, making you and Mark laugh. Jaehyun, on the other hand, just gave him a glare, not liking his friends bullshit. 

Eventually, once the beers had been passed around, everyone was having a good time, including Jaehyun. 

After finishing the food, you all moved to your living room, bringing beers with you. You guys were enjoying yourselves, taking, laughing and drinking. An hour later, Mark was already passed out on the couch. The newly turned 21 year old not having a high alcohol tolerance. You and Johnny were in the middle of a conversation, when he blanked out and stopped speaking. As soon as you called his name out, he passed out on the couch, his body leaning against Marks. You couldn’t help but chuckle, their low alcohol tolerance very amusing. You looked over at Jaehyun, who sat at the end of the same couch as you, and found him peering over at you. A soft smile graced his face and his cheeks were tinged a pretty shade of pink. 

“Why are you so quiet?” You asked, noticing that he had been oddly quiet since Johnny and Mark started to get plastered. 

“I just feel relaxed after the beers.” He said, moving his head towards you and giving you a small smile.

“Same, i'm not drunk, but I’m pretty buzzed.” You smiled, closing your eyes for a bit.

“So,” you started, opening your eyes and looking at Jaehyun, the alcohol giving you some courage. “Are you single or do you have a special someone?” 

His eyebrows raised at your question, amused at your boldness.

“I’m single.” He said, peering at you from below his eyelashes. 

“Hmm. Makes no sense.” You shake your head sleepily. There’s no logical explanation as to why a gorgeous man would be single.

Jaehyun chuckled at your answer, flattered that you thought that way if him.

“How about you? Are you single or do you have someone special?” He mimicked your question.

You hummed softly, closing your eyes and chuckling.

“I am super single. I haven’t been in a relationship for a long time.” You shared, Jaehyun looking at you intently, it made your stomach flip.

“Why am I not convinced?” He inquired,  somehow being able to look right through you.

“Well, there was someone in Korea. But he wasn’t my boyfriend…” You looked over at Jaehyun, who nodded and smiled softly. You took that as a sign to continue speaking. “He was more like a friends with benefits. It started out very casual, but somewhere along the way I started to really care about him. Like, really care about him. I wouldn’t call it love, but I did care for him. I knew he was never going to want to be in a relationship with me, but I couldn’t walk away. There were times where I felt like he cared for me too. But, I started to realize he was only using me for sex. I mean, I knew our relationship was strictly physical, but he wasn’t even trying to pretend. I distanced myself from him for a while and when we finally did...reunite, I found out he was sleeping with other women. We weren’t in a relationship but we had agreed to be exclusive. So when he didn’t tell me he had started sleeping around with other women, I felt betrayed. It hurt and I called things off. And we haven’t been in communication since then.” You hadn’t realized that somewhere along the way you started to cry a little bit. Tears streaming down your face. You wiped at them angrily, embarrassed at having Jaehyun see you cry. 

You felt him shift on the couch and he was next to you in a second, embracing you in a hug. It felt so nice, comforting and soft despite him having a strong and hard body.

He pulled away slowly, making eye contact with you.

“Don’t be hard on yourself. If you’re still hurt and need to cry, then cry. He’s an idiot that lost the opportunity to be with a strong, successful beautiful woman. He doesn’t deserve you.” He said, looking into your eyes.

You both stayed like that for what felt like forever, staring into each other’s eyes, no one uttering a single word. You don’t know who moved first, but Jaehyun was only an inch away from your face. Mark started coughing from the other couch, making you and Jaehyun pull away from each other quickly. Both your and his cheeks turning bright pink, you could blame the alcohol for that. 

“Bro, what time is it?” Mark asked groggily, trying to sit up but failing due to Johnny’s large frame leaning against him.

“It’s time to go home.” Jaehyun got up from the couch and slapped Johnny on the face, startling him awake. He just grumbled and rubbed his face, Mark laughing as he got up and stretched out his numb arm. 

“Thanks for having us, sorry we fell asleep.” Johnny said, giving you a side hug.

“Any time.” You shrugged, smiling at the sleepy giant.

“Thanks for everything noona. Is it cool if I call you noona?” Mark asked, making his way to the front door with the other two men.

“Of course you can.” You smiled warmly at the cute boy, his sleepy face extremely adorable. 

“Good night.” Jaehyun said as he escorted the still loopy men out of your apartment. He had already ordered an Uber and needed to get downstairs as soon as possible.

Once they were gone, you decided it was time for bed. You were so tired and sore and buzzed, you really just wanted to get to bed, your much needed shower could wait until the morning. Once in bed, you couldn’t help but recall the conversation you had with Jaehyun. You really hoped you didn’t ruin things by bringing up your toxic relationship with Chanyeol. Chanyeol. Wow. It really had been a while that you didn’t think about him. That was good, it means you’re progressing. You felt a pang in your chest, your eyes watering again as you remembered the roller coaster of emotions you felt with Chanyeol. You tried to forget it all and it finally felt like you were, you were almost there.

You glanced at your phone, not completely coherent enough to stop yourself. Grabbing the device, you went to your settings, locating your blocked list. You unblocked Chanyeol’s number and sent him a message. Locking your phone, you went to bed. You didn’t realize how much you were going to hate yourself in the morning. 

***

Chanyeol’s phone dinged on his night stand, bringing his mind back to earth. He reached over and his gut twisted when he saw your name appear on his screen. 

I need to forget about you. Why are you in my head?

He couldn’t explain the feeling inside his chest as he read and reread your message. He felt a small smug smile grace his lips. So you did think about him still. He wasn’t the only one that couldn’t stop thinking about you. 

“Who is that, Oppa?” The naked girl on his bed asked, draping her body around his and drawing shapes on his chest in what he assumed was a poor attempt at being sexy.

He looked over at her, no longer needing her presence since he finally heard from you.

“Get out.” He said, looking at her dead in the eye.

“What? You’re not serious, are you?” She asked offended. They had literally just finished fucking, there’s no way he’s kicking her out.

“Are you stupid? I said Get. Out.” He bit out, annoyed at this girls attitude.

She scoffed indignantly and got up from the bed, quickly dressing herself and leaving his apartment, slamming the door behind her. Chanyeol finally got out of bed and made his way to the bathroom, needing a shower before returning to work; his lunch break was almost over anyway. He hummed in the shower happily, feeling like he was on top again.

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[innerpostmentality]

Breakfast at Tevis

Four thousand years ago gods and magic shaped and ruled and were plentiful in the world. Man and all the creatures were shaped and marked by it. Then things began to change. Gradually those things of magic diminished and the things of science took precedence until magic became a myth tucked away safely in children’s fairy tales and skilled entertainer’s parlor tricks. It’s been a thousand years of progress unmarked by true magic.  …………………….. Things are about to change.

This fic is part of a collaborative AU created by my talented friends @tornbetween2loves @kennaxval and myself. This part was written 50/50 by myself and @tornbetween2loves. Special thanks to @tornbetween2loves for the gorgeous mood board for Crown Prince Aeneas and the beautiful Sarissa   Disclaimer: all original TRR characters and references belong to Pixelberry, however we are claiming their beautiful children as our own creations. Please see the Series Master List here: Arcana Unbound Series Masterlist Pairing feature: Aeneas X Sarissa Word count: 4300 + Warnings: mild angst, erotica  Tags: @darley1101 @gardeningourmet @speedyoperarascalparty @hopefulmoonobject @bobasheebaby @carabeth @sawyeroakleyscowboyhat @riseandshinelittleblossom @stopforamoment @teamtomsato @furiousherringoperatortoad @indiacater @sirbeepsalot @alesana45 @strangerofbraidwood @museofbooks @furryperfectionlover @ao719 @blackcatkita

  Aeneas led Sarissa out to the limo and Evan opened the door for them. He climbed into the car and held his hand out for her to help her in.  "I was not sure you would join me this morning. And I do apologize for the early morning. I wanted to be certain I spoke to your father before there was any news of us."   The ride to Tevi's was short this early in the morning. Tevi's had expanded over the years since Liam and Hyclea had first gone to breakfast there. When Hyclea gave them the Queen's seal, a personal endorsement, their business doubled then doubled again. But the quality was always maintained in their food. And at least once a month the royals would come visit.   "Sarissa," He kept her hand and was stroking gentle circles around her knuckles with his thumb. "It is early so I do not think any press will be there when we arrive. But it is a possibility when we leave. Have you considered what you want to tell them?"   Sarissa’s brow furrowed as she thought about Aeneas’ question. “Honestly I hadn’t thought about it much.” She squeezed his hand and looked at him sheepishly. The press never really paid much attention to her, they would bypass her and swarm her brother. “Do you have some pointers for me? Maybe I could just follow your lead.” She looked away, suddenly nervous. She knew that she would be in the spotlight being courted by the crown prince. This would take some getting used too. She was trained to fade into the background, be unnoticeable.  She looked up into his violet eyes and knew he was worth the nervousness and any awkwardness she might feel being in the spotlight. She smiled at him warmly. “Can’t we just tell them the truth?”   Aeneas looked pained as he held her gaze. His voice was that deep, soothing velvet that was almost mesmerizing. "If this Social Season were only about me I would call a press conference and tell them how completely remarkable and enchanting you are. But Social Seasons.." he sighed before he continued "Social seasons garner support for the crown from the nobility and the public. It is like a lottery where every person feels like they might win. I," he shook his head, "I have to be perceived, initially at least, to be fair. And that is so contrary to what I feel."   “I understand.” She looked deep into his eyes. “So once the social season starts you will be spending equal amounts of time with all the women who participate.” She broke their gaze and looked down as hot tears pricked the corners of her eyes. Her voice was soft and filled with uncertainty. “What if you find you like one of them better than me?”   "No." Aeneas lifted her chin. "Look at me Sarissa." His voice was serious and he waited until she met his gaze. "Listen to me. I need you to hear me not only here." He touched her head gently. "I need you to hear me here." He touched the center of her chest over her heart.   "This is exactly what I was trying to tell you last night when I told you that my brother was the better catch." He shook his head and looked in her eyes then gently turned her head so she could look out the window as he pointed at all the traffic and people. He shifted so that he was right behind her and she could feel the warmth of his body as he spoke gently in her ear. "There are billions of people in the world. Millions in our country that I must think of. That I must care about. That I must try to take care of. And if you chose to sit beside me it means that you will have to share me and I will have to share you. Even beyond the social season we will have to watch each other dance with others and share intimate conversations with others. We will be apart negotiating alliances, trade deals, attending summits." He turned her slightly and gently stroked her jaw as he urged her to face him again, his features held a deep longing hopefulness. "But in the midst of all that, at the end of all that, I want to believe, I need you to believe in this."  Aeneas brought his mouth to hers. His fingers trembled as he threaded them into the silkiness of her glorious hair. Passion like he'd never known unfurled in him and he was vaguely aware as he groaned his need for her. He was completely torn between his rational side that knew he needed to stop and recover his composure, and the imperative of his emotions that drove his body to passion.   Sarissa was overcome as she felt her own emotions and passion rise to meet his. She could feel how desperately he wanted her, no, needed her and any small shred of doubt she had was gone. This was exactly what she wanted. Her whole life had been preparation for this moment and gave her strength. She was meant to be his queen. She just knew it. And she would jump through whatever hoops necessary to get there.   He released his grip on her hair and tried to pull away from her but she kept her lips on his as she grasped his hand and pressed it to her chest, covering her heart. After lingering a few moments longer in their passion, she pulled back, breathless. Their lust-blown eyes locked together as Sarissa cupped his face in her hands. “I hear you, Aeneas. I know what it means to be with you. To love you.” She brought her face close to his again. “You’re worth it. You’re so worth all of it.” She kissed him again gently, deepening the kiss as she stroked his cheek.   He was shaking his eyes closed when he broke the kiss finally. He pressed his forehead to hers. "Sarissa.. oh God..." He let her go and leaned over. "Give me a minute. We are going to be at Tevi's in a few minutes and I cannot get out of the car like this." He struggled as he tried to control his breathing and calm himself. He chuckled and turned his head to look sideways at her. "You are dangerous."   Sarissa scooted over a few inches on the seat to give him some space as she smiled at him innocently. “Dangerous? Me?” She winked at him playfully.   He reached out and grabbed her hand and held it as he closed his eyes and just breathed slowly. "Have you been to Tevi's before?"   She nodded. “Sure. They have great coffee.” She squeezed his hand gently. “Are you ok?”   "Well this is not exactly how I pictured this morning. And it amuses me on some not completely mortified level.  You are so beautiful. Do you know that?"   Sarissa blushed and smiled at him shyly. “Thank you. You make me feel so wonderful. Everything you say to me makes me feel like I’m the most special girl in the world.” She looked up into his eyes, her cheeks still flushed. “So what will we tell the press today? Because I fear that they may take one look at us and know what we are feeling.”   He smiled at her the violet of his gaze intense. "You are. I need you to remember that through all of this."   He chuckled. "The press will always speculate. But if we are pressed I shall tell them that we are planning a surprise party. That should calm them a little."   The limo pulled up in front of Tevi's and stopped. They waited a few minutes while security confirmed everything was ready for them. Evan opened the door and allowed Sarissa to exit the limo a moment later Aeneas exited the car. He stepped out and smoothed his jacket and offered her his arm.   They were escorted into the courtyard dining area and to a table situated next to a beautiful Jacaranda tree. Aeneas pulled her chair out for her before he sat down across from her. The waiter handed them menus and asked them what they would like to drink. Aeneas smiled at her. "I requested this table. It's rather special to my family. It was where my parents had their first official sort of 'date'. That was back in prehistory. And the walls were built to keep the larger dinosaurs out."  “How lovely. You’re such a romantic.” She smiled. “This is utterly charming. Having our first date in the exact spot where your parents had theirs.” She giggled. “Good thing we don’t have to worry about those dinosaurs anymore.”   Aeneas got lost in her eyes for a moment. He blushed. "Yesterday I would not have thought that I was a romantic. I was pretty methodical studying the files." He frowns. "Was I mistaken thinking that you had a class this morning? I was surprised when your dad said 7:30."   Sarissa’s face reddened as she dropped her eyes to the floor. “Yes, I was supposed to be in class at 8. But I wasn’t planning on going, even before you showed up.” She looked up into his eyes curiously. “Do you have a file on me Aeneas?”  "Of course. Sarissa, you wanted to be a royal guard." He shook his head and chuckled. "And when I asked for files on the ladies attending the season they were thorough. I have files on Calais and my mother. I have no idea how that happened."   She smiled at him, her eyes sparkled. “Well you can officially move my file from the ‘royal guard’ pile to the ‘attending social season’ pile.” She giggled. “So what kind of stuff is in my file? Do you find that it’s accurate? Will I be able to have any secrets from you?” She raised an eyebrow at him. “Or maybe you should just throw that file in the trash and see what impression I can make on you?”   Aeneas started to speak but then the waiter came back with their drinks and asked them about their breakfast preferences. He ordered them a basket of assorted pastries, pieces of cheese pie, and a sliced fruit plate.   "I hope you do not mind me ordering for both of us?"   He looked thoughtful for a moment as he thought about the contents of her file. "You are described as a dedicated student with excellent skills. You are a senior with emphasis on security, infiltration and threat analysis. You excel in your physical combat courses. You are 21, two months younger than me. Red hair. Gray eyes. 5'7". Daughter of Bastien Lykel and Olivia Nevrakis-Lykel Duke and Duchess of Lythikos, second child of the couple." He grinned.   "It is woefully inadequate. Tells me nothing about which side of the bed you sleep on. Whether you snore. Does not tell me if you prefer the orange walnut sticky rolls or the chocolate eclairs. It's basically useless."   Sarissa giggled as she took a sip of her coffee. “Interesting. Well, I prefer to sleep on the right side and I will always choose the eclairs. As far as the snoring goes....” Her eyes danced as she gave him a sultry look. “...you’ll have to wait to discover that for yourself.”    “Would it surprise you to learn that I also have a file on you? And Calais? And Leo? And your parents?” She raised an eyebrow at him. “And I’ll bet my files are a lot more detailed and informative than yours.”   She smiled as she thought of her father teaching her to remember details about those she wished to protect. Not just the public knowledge details, but personal details. Observations. Even her mother had encouraged the idea. She had figured that the files would come in handy if she ever chose to take a different path and attend social season.   He grinned at her wide enough to show his dimple as he selected a cardamom cream horn and shook his head. "I know who your parents are so it does not really surprise me. But I am curious since you have been studying me. Is there anything that surprises you about me?"  Sarissa tilted her head to one side as she reached for a pastry. She contemplated his question for a moment as she took a bite. She smiled at him brightly. “To be honest, everything about you surprises me Aeneas. From a fairly young age my dad taught me to maintain a certain distance from you. Not a physical distance, a personal one. He said it was important for me to maintain a professional relationship with those I aspire to protect.” She smiled as she licked a bit of frosting off the tip of her thumb. “So even though I was aware of certain personal details about you, I’m finding you to be nothing like I imagined. You are so kind, passionate and protective. I feel so safe around you. And not just because of your guard detail.”  Cream filling clung to his upper lip as he continued to smile at her. "I am glad you feel safe with me. I shall always do my very best to keep your faith in me, Sarissa."   He sipped his coffee and the cream filling disappeared. He looked thoughtfully at her for a long moment. "How many more classes do you have to finish your degree? I know you are a senior but I also know people who have the credits to be a senior but have changed majors so are not so close to graduating." He laughed and shook his head. "Then there is my sister and brother. They are just set upon making me feel like the slow child."   Sarissa giggled. “You, the slow child? I find that hard to believe.” She smiled as she sipped her coffee. “I have never changed my major, I have always known what I wanted to study and who I wanted to be. So I will be graduating after this semester.” Her eyes sparkled as she gazed at him. “I plan to finish my coursework online for the remainder of the semester.”   He nodded as he took another bite of the cream horn. "Sarissa I know you were really upset with Calais and Xiphos last night. I was too. Then I realized what happened with me. I do not think either of them were really keeping something from us. I mean I do not believe they were really together before yesterday."   Sarissa nodded in agreement. “I didn’t understand how they could feel so strongly for one another in such a short time.” She locked her eyes on his violet pools and her voice was deep and sultry when she spoke. “But I do now.”  His eyes flashed and then he sipped his coffee and took a bite of his cheese pie.   "Yes...."  He studied her intently for a moment. "Anyway, Calais was pretty upset about upsetting you. And Sarissa, I think they are... very serious. I hope that doesn't upset you."   Sarissa took another bite of her pastry, then washed it down with coffee. She nodded in response. “I’m not upset that they’re serious.” Her eyes narrowed. “I’m upset because your sister has had this crush on my brother for months, maybe even years, and she never told me.” She sighed and looked down at her cheese pie as she picked at it with her fork. “I guess my feelings are just hurt. I thought we were best friends. But Calais kept this huge secret from me.” Her voice was shaky as tears welled in her eyes.   Aeneas looked sympathetic as Sarissa got emotional. "I wish we were private. When you are upset all I want to do is hold you and somehow make it better. Sarissa.." His voice was soft and soothing, "Calais does consider you her best friend. She is..." His expression got pained and serious. "When she came back from school to work on her doctorate sculptures here she was much more closed off.”  “Has she talked with you about what happened?"   Sarissa avoided eye contact as she shook her head. “No. I always knew something was different. She came back changed.” She took a deep, shaky breath and exhaled slowly as she wiped a tear from her cheek and looked him in the eye. Her expression pained, she smiled at him sadly. “Another secret she’s keeping from me.”  He extended his leg under the table and pressed it gently against hers. He looked in her eyes, his were full of sympathy. "Not just you Sarissa. She hasn't told me what happened either."   Her head snapped up as a shocked look crossed her face. “She didn’t tell you? But..... she tells you everything.” She looked away, suddenly feeling very ashamed. Here her best friend had gone through something so traumatic she couldn’t talk to anyone about it. And all Sarissa could do was be angry at her for finding happiness with her brother. She buried her face in her hands. After a long moment she raised her head to look at Aeneas with remorse. “I’ve been acting like a selfish brat. I’m so sorry.” She shook her head. “May I ride back to the palace with you after breakfast? I’d like to speak with Calais.”   He nodded and handed her his handkerchief. "She did not tell me about her feelings for your brother either. I do not know what happened. But I know she was hurt badly by someone."   Sarissa nodded as she dabbed the corners of her eyes with the handkerchief. After taking a moment to compose herself she cleared her throat and smiled at him. “Enough sadness. This is supposed to be our charming, romantic first date.” She winked at him with a smile. “So what are your plans today Aeneas?”   He lifted a brow at her and smirked. "I have a couple of meetings after my cold shower. Then I am heading to the children's hospital to take some stuffed lions to the children. I have a fitting. Then another meeting with father and the Italian ambassador about an upcoming trip. Then I expect to fall over from sleep deprivation and dream of you." He smiled and winked at her.  Sarrisa’s mouth dropped open in surprise. “Are you always this busy?” She rolled her eyes at herself. What a dumb question. Of course he was always this busy, he was the damn crown prince! She sighed and closed her eyes as her cheeks reddened. “I-I’m sorry. That was a pretty stupid question.” She smiled at him sheepishly.  He smiled. "We are a working monarchy. Father insists that we have regular contact with the people in addition to the state affairs. Most people still envision something more like sitting around on couches being fed peeled grapes I expect." He shook his head. "There are no bad questions Sarissa. You are welcome to ask me anything."  He called the waiter over and asked for a basket of pastries to take with them.  "For mom and dad." he explained. "Are you ready? I think we may have dodged the press if we leave now."  She nodded and drank the last of her coffee. “Thank you for breakfast. I have very much enjoyed your company, Aeneas.” She smiled at him again, her dark eyes sparkling.   Once they were back in the limo Aeneas looked at her shyly. "Sarissa, would you mind.. might I hold you?"   Sarissa beamed as she scooted close to him on the seat. “Of course.” She reached out and tentatively placed her hand on his knee, drawing small circles with her fingertips. She fought to keep her breathing steady as she felt his arms around her. Her stomach fluttered as their eyes locked together. Her voice was soft, barely a whisper. “Aeneas....will you kiss me again?”   He grinned. "I think you are plotting to keep me in the car."   She laughed and he kissed her. Gently he explored her mouth. He stroked her cheek then he moved to feather kisses along her jaw to her ear. He whispered hoarsely, "You are so beautiful." he gently nipped her earlobe and then kissed it, playing with it with his tongue.   Sarissa moaned softly as he nipped her ear, her hand slowly moved from his knee to his upper thigh as she kissed his neck. She smiled into the crook of his neck and whispered, “I could stay in this car with you like this all day.” She trailed kisses up to his ear and nibbled gently. “But then you’d have to cancel your meetings and your trip to the hospital, your fitting and your meeting with your father and the ambassador.” She pulled back breathless to look into his eyes, her eyes dark with lust. “And the cold shower would not be necessary.”   A groan was pulled from deep inside him. He grabbed her hand and pressed a kiss into her palm. His eyes were blazing, luminescent violet rings around his lust blown pupils. His voice a deep velvet caress as he murmured, "If I expire from need you will have to explain to my parents and yours why they can't remove my smile."  She smiled and kissed his lips softly, speaking into the kiss, “I don’t mind explaining. I’ll even take all the blame.”   "Sarissa… I.." He closed his eyes as he struggled. Then opened them to look deeply into her eyes. "I told your father I would respect you. You have no idea how much I want you. But you deserve so much more than the back seat of a car." He pulled her tightly against him and kissed the top of her head. His whole body was tense and almost vibrated with his restraint.    Sarissa pouted as she snuggled against him. She could feel him tense next to her and she placed her hand on his thigh. She sighed deeply and said in a very serious tone, “You’re right. We wouldn’t want to piss dad off. Especially not before you find a milk producing yak.” She chuckled softly, her body shaking against his.   He held her tightly as he controlled his breathing by counting in his head. Dizzy with her scent and her softness and the feel of her in his arms. He laughed with her as he murmured in her hair. "I promise I will find that yak if it is the last thing I do."  "Hey... Thank you for talking with Calais. You really are her best friend. I think your brother and I made peace last night when he was leaving. Forgive him, Sarissa, do not carry hurt with you."   Sarissa nodded. “We’re all going to be okay aren’t we Aeneas?” She sat up straight and turned to look him in the eye.   He grinned. "Well yesterday I would not have been able to answer that question with any kind of conviction.” He kissed her knuckles still as he looked into her eyes. "When I look at you, when I hold you I can't help but believe that we all are going to wind up fine."   She smiled at him as she lightly stroked his cheek. “I feel the same way. It’s amazing the difference a day can make.”   Aeneas opened his arms to hold her while they were taken to the family entrance of the palace. He stroked her back. "I wish we could just spend the day together. I hope we will be able to manage that before the insanity of the season gets underway."   Sarissa kept her hand on his thigh, making circles with her index finger. “An entire day? That would be amazing.” She looked at him hopefully. “Can we try to make that happen? Pretty please?” She stuck her bottom lip out in a small pout and batted her eyes at him.   He chuckled and tugged gently on her bottom lip.. "Does that work with your dad?" He kissed her forehead. "You know I will try to make it happen."  She grinned widely at him. “Actually, it does work with dad. Well most of the time anyway. I’ve always been daddy’s little girl.” She turned to look deep in his violet eyes with a sultry gaze. She leaned close and kissed his lips softly. She pulled back after a moment. “Imagine what we could do with an entire day together.”   "My virtue feels imperiled." He couldn’t help himself. He knew he shouldn't but he stole another kiss before he signaled for the guards to let them out of the car. "I will talk with you later Beauty."   She climbed out of the limo, his taste still tingled on her lips. “Thank you for breakfast Aeneas. I had an absolutely wonderful time.”    He bowed over her hand, flipped it and kissed her wrist softly before he let her go.

[choicesfanatic86]

TTS:  Part 13 (Liam x MC)

DISCLAIMER:  All characters belong to Pixelberry Studios, except characters unique to my story.  Those belong to me. ;)

PAIRINGS:  Riley (MC) x OC, Riley (MC) x Liam, Liam x Riley (MC) x OC, Olivia x Drake, Bertrand x Savannah, Maxwell x OC

SUMMARY:  When Liam unexpectedly shows up at the Beaumont Estate, Riley’s emotions run wild.

If you are new to the series and would like to catch up by reading previous parts, please check out my master fan fiction listing.  CATCH UP HERE

TAGS:  @herladyshipxx  @theroyalweisme @blackcatkita @devineinterventions2 @hopefulmoonobject @captainkingliam @pbchoicesobsessed @cocomaxley @queencatherynerhys @mfackenthal @boneandfur @spetstoof @bobasheebaby @grapefrults @pessimystic-fangirl @dralenamax @mspaigemoore @drakelover78 @kaitycole @jayjay879 @hhiggs @umccall71 @penguininapinktuxedo

If you want to be added to the tag list so that you an be notified when new parts of the series are released, please let me know, and I will add you to the above list.  Also, if the tags aren’t working for you, I can also message you when I post a new part.  Please request to be added to the “message” list and I’ll gladly shoot you a quick message of the new part’s posting.

Part 13! :) We are a little over half way complete with the series, guys! :) I hope you enjoy some Liam x Riley angsty romance, because this chapter is only about them!  Thank you for all the sweet messages about Part 12.  It’s my favorite part by far!

Part 14 will be released on 4/19/18.

PART 13 - Liam

It was the first time in two years that she had allowed his name to slip past her lips.  His name rang over and over again in her head.  It was no longer he or him . . . generic terms to refer to someone she thought was long out of her life.  Instead, it was just Liam.  It had been so much easier to pretend that she didn’t care about him or about the love that they had shared when she didn’t say his name.  It helped her to forget, or at least try to forget the memories between them.  At least that’s what she told herself.  Hearing it . . . saying it . . . it made things much more real.  Suddenly, she could no longer hide from the reality that there was unfinished business between the two of them.  She had left Cordonia on that God awful night without as much as a goodbye.  She knew better to tell him she was leaving.  After all, she had made herself very clear about her position on things between them.  She knew that if she went to tell him goodbye, she’d take one look at him, and suddenly throw caution to the wind again and stay.  For him.  Stay until it killed her.  Stay until her heart was shattered into a million more pieces than it already had been.  

Standing here in front of him had made her heart feel as if it were going to jump out of her chest.  She didn’t know what to expect.  The silence between them lingered and each passing moment had her feeling more and more anxious.  The waiting for one of them to speak was killing her.  She had millions of things she had wanted to say in that moment, yet she couldn’t bring herself to say any of them.  She imagined that he probably felt the same way.  She nervously twisted the sides of her sweatpants, her gaze wandering over Liam.  In the back of her mind, she had realized that she probably, at some point, would run into him while in Cordonia, but she hadn’t imagined it would be so soon.  She felt so confused.  She remembered feeling the same thing that God awful night she had left.  She had never felt more lost . . . well except for now.  As hard as she tried to push that night out of her memories, their last conversation would forever be ingrained in her mind; after all it was the night she had closed the door on Cordonia for what she thought would be forever.

“Liam,” she yelled through falling tears, not caring if anyone else in the palace could hear her.  She was angry, upset and most importantly hurt.  She needed to talk to him.  Something had to give.  Riley could not sit through another court event with the side-eyes and whispers.  She couldn’t take the public and private ridicule anymore.  “Liam,” she pounded on the door of his study furiously.

He opened the door swiftly, motioning for her to quiet down.  “Riley . . . what’s the matter?” Liam’s brows creased in worry as he pulled her inside before anyone could see them together.  

Riley narrowed her eyes as he tried to calm her down.  He was concerned about the gossip.  They couldn’t have the betrothed king seen running around with one of his former suitors, the American slut no less.  The monarchy’s stability had already been questioned enough over the years.  They didn’t need another scandal adding a black mark to its ever-turbulent history.

“I can’t take this anymore!” She exclaimed, throwing her hands up in defeat.  “These people . . . this place . . . nothing is going to change.  We aren’t going to find Tariq.  The scandal is never going to be resolved,” she cried out sadly.

Liam walked over to her, placing his hands firmly on her shoulders.  “They will find Tariq, Riley.  We just have to be patient.  This sort of thing takes careful planning and calculation.  It – “ Liam tried to explain, before she interrupted.

“It takes time,” she said disgustedly.  “I know!  That’s all I’ve been hearing for two months, Liam.  How much more, Liam?  I can’t help but feel we’re running toward an ending instead of a beginning ,” she sobbed.

“Riley, what’s bothering you?” He led her over to the couch in his study, having her sit down to calm herself.  “It isn’t like you to get so upset about these sorts of things.  What happened?”

She started to carefully wipe away the tears from his eye, trying to compose herself.  “Lady Kiara’s mother called me the American slut at dinner tonight,” she whispered sadly.  She saw his jaw clench, disapproval forming in his eyes.  

“She’s not the only one, Liam.  I hear the rumors . . . the whispers about the troubled American.  They say I’ve brought shame to the monarchy.  Maybe I have,” she looked at him sadly.  “Everyone at court thinks I’m a joke.  Then there’s Madeline,” she sighed.

“What about her?” He asked, a bit more concerned than before.

“She’s constantly flaunting the engagement in my face.  Do you know what she had the audacity to have me do?” Riley exclaimed.

Liam shook his head sadly.  “She made me pick up her wedding band the other day,” a new set of tears starting to stream down her face.  “That was supposed to be my wedding band, Liam,” she tried to get out, her voice quaking.

Liam started to rub her back soothingly.  “I know things have been difficult for you,” he replied sadly.  “I wish there were something I could do to make things easier for you.”

She looked at him through bleary eyes.  “But, Liam, there is something you can do.  You’re the King.  Can’t you put a stop to this?”

Liam’s eyes shone of deep regret.  “I’m so sorry, Riley, but there’s nothing I can do.  Bastien and the rest of the security team are working tirelessly to find Tariq so that we can clear your name, but you heard my father, the monarchy is at risk.  If it’s revealed that the Crown was involved with a plot to rig the selection of Cordonia’s Queen . . . who knows how the people would react?”

Riley heaved a deep sigh, suddenly feeling so emotionally drained.  “Liam, how much longer will I have to endure the whispers?  The lies?”

He frowned, grabbing her hand.  “We have to be patient.  My love, we will wait for as long as it takes,” he squeezed her hand, trying to be encouraging.

“Liam . . . the wedding is in two weeks,” she whispered.

He nodded despondently.  “I’m well aware of how close it is, Riley.”

“Are you going to marry her?”  She asked, a wave of anger washing over her.  She stood, pulling her hand away from his grasp.  “Tell me honestly, Liam.  If we are unable to find Tariq and there isn’t any other way to clear my name, are you going to go through with it?”

“Riley . . .” He started, a bit speechless at her sudden burst of outrage.

“Liam,” she said firmly.  “Just tell me if you’re going to go through with it,” she demanded, desperately.

He averted his eyes from her steely gaze.  “I will do what I have to do for Cordonia,” he said without emotion.  

Riley felt like she had been sucker punched in the gut.  Mere months ago she needed to talk him out of abdicating.  She remembered their discussion in the grotto about what their lives would be like away from court.  Riley could picture every part of their regular, ordinary lives.  She longed for it, of course, but she knew that Liam wouldn’t be able to give up the monarchy.  She would never want him to do that for her.  Now, suddenly she felt differently.  Cordonia be damned, all she wanted was Liam.  She tried hard not to cry, biting her lower lip until she could taste her salty blood on her tongue.  

“What does that mean for us then?”  She bit back a sob.  She didn’t want him to see her cry.

“I honestly don’t know,” he said quietly.  He stayed silent for a while; Riley contemplated whether or not she should leave.  After all, what more could be said?  He had ultimately sealed the coffin of their relationship.  He’d marry Madeline, and she’d be left out in the cold mending a broken heart.  She turned to walk away, when he grabbed her hand, pulling her closely to him.  “Have you thought any more about Madeline’s proposition?”

Riley’s face contorted into pure rage, she pushed him way from her.  How could he even ask that?  She had made it clear to him that if he were to go through with the marriage, she couldn’t be with him.  It wasn’t fair to him . . . to her . . . and as much as it pained her to say, it wasn’t fair to Madeline either.  Riley was no longer on the verge of tears, instead, she was on a warpath.

“What kind of person do you think I am, Liam?  We’ve spent all this time together and it feels like you don’t know me at all,” she screamed.  “I’d never do that.  You have to make a choice, Liam.  It will be a difficult one, but you have to think of your happiness . . . you have to think of our future . . . if you still see a future for us,” she added.

Liam was silent, taking in her words.  He walked over to his bar cart, pouring himself a glass of scotch.  He sipped quietly, Riley waiting earnestly for his response.  He inhaled deeply before starting, “What kind of King would I be if I put my own selfish desires before the needs of my nation?”

The words struck Riley across the face.  She knew then that she could no longer stay in Cordonia.  How broken had this country made him?  How broken had his father made him?  She looked at him with a newfound sadness.  Maybe he knew all along that their time together was fleeting.  The happily ever after was never in the cards for them.  She didn’t have a chance in hell in marrying him.  

“What kind of man does it make you if you’d gladly have an affair in order to fulfill your selfish desires?” she spat back at him.  She shook her head angrily.  “To hell with Cordonia, Liam.  To hell with the monarchy.  To hell with you,” she yelled.  “I wish I never came to this godforsaken country.  I wanted to marry you.  I wanted a family,” a small sob escaped her lip.  The future she had once pictured was slipping away from her with each passing second.  “You and this goddamn country have done nothing but ruin my life,” she hiccupped.

“Think about what you’re saying, Riley,” he tried to reason with her.

“I know exactly what I’m saying, Liam.”  She turned away from him, for what she thought would be the last time and sadly walked away.

When she left Cordonia, she vowed to never think of him again.  Of course, that was much easier said than done.  It was a lie she told herself so that she could move on.  It took months before she was even able to get him out of her head.  After all, how could she just forget someone she thought she’d spend the rest of her life with?  The love . . . the excitement . . . the passion.  She had never experienced that with anyone else.  She had foolishly believed that they would have the storybook ending that all great romances had.  She was wrong.  The memories of their fight burned in her mind, causing her eyes to water as she was brought back to the present, still awkwardly standing out in the veranda, waiting for one of them to make the next move.  

Looking at him standing in front of her, there was a part of her that ached with him being so close, yet so untouchable.  She remembered all the nights they spent together, wrapped in one another’s arms, kissing one another until they were out of breath.  She remembered the secret rendezvous on the engagement tour, when she still had hope that they would be together in the end.  She longed for the days when his gentle kisses would make her woozy and oh so happy that she’d spend days smiling after a simple night with him.

But then she remembered Madeline and the wedding and his words to her that night about Cordonia.  The raw emotions she felt back then came tumbling back.  Suddenly, she felt the urge to scream at him.  She wanted to scream at him for going through with the wedding . . . for leading her on and breaking her heart.  She wanted to blame him for the sleepless nights and nightmares . . . to blame him for the struggle it took to rebuild a new life for herself that didn’t include him in it.  She wanted him to hear how miserable she was those first few months after she left . . . to know the same pain and hurt that she had experienced all those years ago.

Her internal struggle was interrupted by a shiver down her spine.  A mix of the night’s cool air and her nerves had caused a chill to spread all over her body.  She felt herself begin to tremble. She started to rub her shoulders with her hands, trying to rid herself of the uncomfortable sensation.  Liam seeing this started to remove his leather jacket.  He walked forward, placing it loosely over her bare shoulders, his hand briefly brushing her arm in the process.  The trembling worsened, her body yearning for more of his touch.  She closed her eyes scolding herself at such thoughts.  She was supposed to be mad at him.

“There now, that better?” He smiled a little, breaking the silence between them.  He took a few tentative steps forward toward her, unsure how to proceed.  “I must have dreamt about this moment at least a hundred times over the years,” he whispered with a half-smile.

She looked at him, still remaining silent.  She saw the longing in his eyes.  The longing to hold her, to kiss her, to whisper the sweet words he had spoken to her all those years ago.  She closed her eyes, unable to hide the fact that she had the same longing . . . when she knew she shouldn’t.  It had been two years . . . it may as well have been two lifetimes ago.  Things had changed, and she couldn’t just pretend that things weren’t different now.  She was different now.

“I’ll have to admit,” he spoke quietly.  “I didn’t quite think this through.”

She looked up at him, confused, her eyes asking for clarification.

“When I learned that you had returned, I found myself pacing the floor of my study at the palace.  I had just returned from the derby with this new piece of information, and I didn’t know what to do with it really.  The news of your return was ever the surprise.  Considering how things were left between us, I thought you’d never step foot in Cordonia again,” he explained.  “I didn’t fully know what to do or if I should do anything at all.  So, I hopped on my motorcycle and decided to go on a ride to clear my head.  Give me a chance to rationally think things through at least that had been my intent.  As you can see, my thought process wasn’t entirely rational.  I found myself pulling up to the Beaumont property, and well, here we are,” he motioned between them.

When Riley didn’t respond, he continued to speak.  “I don’t really know why I came here.  I tried to have more restraint than this,” he looked disappointed in himself.  “I apologize; I suppose when it came to you, I never could think clearly.  I wanted to respect the fact that had you wanted me to know you were here, you’d have told me yourself.”

After what seemed like hours, Riley finally addressed him.  “Who told you I was back?” she asked.

“Does it matter?”  He asked, shaking his head at her.  “I wish it were you.  I wish I had gotten a telephone call from you telling me that you were coming back and that you’d like to talk,” he said sadly.

She turned away from him then, suddenly embarrassed.  “I guess not,” she shrugged, pulling his jacket tightly around her.

“Perhaps we should sit down?” He motioned to the couch under the awning.  “It may help you warm up a bit more,” he explained.  She nodded, moving to sit on the far right side of the couch.  He followed suit sitting on the far left side.

“Your hair is shorter,” he said quietly.  His eyes were intense as he studied all of her features, as if he were trying to memorize all the changes that had happened over the past two years.

She instinctually reached for the edges of her hair, nodding slightly.  “I wanted a change,” she ran her fingers through her hair.

“I like it . . . it’s different.  A nice different.”  Liam went to reach for her hand, but Riley pulled her hand away, taken aback by his sudden desire for physical contact.  

“I’m sorry . . . it’s just . . . I forget sometimes that we haven’t seen one another in two years.  I remember all of our time together as if it were yesterday,”  He sighed, clearly disappointed by her rejection.

“What are we doing here, Liam?” She asked quietly.

“I’m not sure,” he responded truthfully.  “When Drake came to me that night you left, he told me that you were going back to New York.  I foolishly didn’t believe him,” he sadly said.  “I was so angry and hurt after our fight, I didn’t want to see you.  He begged me to talk you out of it, but I truly did not think you would leave.  I thought that after a good night’s rest, we’d both have calmed down and have clearer heads.”  He cracked his knuckles anxiously.  “Clearly I was wrong.”

“I am sorry .  . . for leaving the way I did,” she acknowledged.  “You deserved better than that.”

He nodded, “And I’m sorry for discounting your feelings on things.  I guess I had been groomed for a life of service, I often forgot that not everyone has the same outlook on things.”

She didn’t know how to respond to that, so she didn’t.  She let the silence sit between them, before he spoke again.  “I stood at the end of the aisle at the cathedral, half-hoping , half-expecting you to somehow appear.“

“That was rather presumptuous of you,” she stated frankly, a little bit of bite in her tone.

“I’m sorry?” he asked, taken back by the change in her tone.

“To expect me to stop your wedding, beg you not to go through with it,” she sighed.  “That’s what you meant right?”

“You left, Riley.  I never thought I’d see the day where you stopped fighting for me . . . fighting for us.”

“Fight for you,” she exclaimed, angry, but not the least bit surprised at the direction their conversation had taken.  “That’s not fair,” she yelled.  “You don’t get to say that I didn’t fight for you, Liam, because I did.  Every damn day that I had to watch you hold Madeline in your arms pretending to love her.  Listening to you tell the press how excited you were to be marrying her.  Allowing noble after noble to degrade me . . . question my character . . . That was me fighting for you,” a broken sob escaped her lips.  “You broke my heart, Liam!”

“And what of my heart, Riley?  Was your heart the only one worth caring about?  My heart broke just as yours did.  You didn’t give me as much as a goodbye.  Maybe had I known – “

Riley stopped him.  “Maybe had you known that I was leaving, things would have been different?” she asked.  “Liam, let’s not kid one another.  Nothing would have been different.  You still would have married her, and I still would have left,” she said sadly.  

“I didn’t want you to leave,” he replied.

“You didn’t give me a choice,” she said firmly.  “You asked me to be your mistress, Liam,” she said.

“I did no such thing.”  He grumbled indignantly.

“You didn’t use the word mistress, Liam.  I’ll give you that.  But a girl knows how to read between the lines.  You asked me if I’d considered Madeline’s proposition.  You know , the one where she gave us her blessing to be together in every way we wanted except through marriage.  What kind of life would that be, Liam?  I wanted a life with you where we didn’t have to hide our love for one another,” Riley started to cry, hyperventilating in the process.  Liam watched on, mouth ajar, taking her words in as she spoke.  “What if I got pregnant?  Our child would be seen at court as a bastard.  That child would have been forced to endure the same shame and ridicule that I went through every single day.  That’s if she would have even allowed me to have a child.  I went on that ridiculous engagement tour, had the press spread horrible lies.  I overcame obstacle after obstacle just to be with you, only to have my dreams of being your wife dashed time and time again,” she sobbed.

“Riley . . .” he reached his hand across the couch, placing it on her knee trying to comfort her.  

Riley didn’t shy away from the physical contact this time.  She was too upset, angry that she had allowed herself to breakdown in front of him.  The overwhelming stress of being back and trying to avoid him and reached its toll.  

“I did not come here tonight to argue about our past or to upset you.  Although, it seems as if I have unfortunately done both,” he said sadly.  “I don’t know what I had hoped to achieve by visiting you.  Perhaps I had some small sliver of hope left that we could pick up things where we left off . . . Madeline and I . . . we divorced.  I couldn’t live the lie anymore,” he explained solemnly.  “I miss what we had.  We loved one another once, Riley.  Very much.  Our relationship started out as a friendship and, I’d like us to get back to that point,” he murmured hopefully.  “Then maybe someday . . . we can revisit the idea of a relationship again,” he smiled wistfully.

“I have somebody waiting for me at home, Liam,” she blurted out thoughtlessly.  She closed her eyes.  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for you to find out that way.  I just don’t want to mislead you,” she explained.

His face distorted into a look of disappointment, although he quickly corrected himself, giving her a light smile.  “Of course,” he said  “he must be someone very special.  I hope he realizes how lucky he is.”

Riley nodded slightly, wanting to move away from all talk of Paul.  “It’s nearly midnight,” she whispered.  “You should get back to the palace, before they realize you’re missing.”

“Come to dinner with me,” he blurted out suddenly.  Seeing the surprise on Riley’s face, he corrected his word choice.  “Please come to dinner with me,” he said.

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea, Liam,” she replied sadly.  “Maybe it’s best if we keep our distance for a while.”

“It’s just dinner, Riley.  It would just be the two of us catching up with one another’s lives, rebuilding the friendship we once had.  It’s important to me.  I want to start over, start fresh.  I respect that you have someone who you’re with back in New York.  All I want is to be your friend,” he replied simply.

“I don’t know if I can make it tomorrow,” she explained.  “There are all these wedding events and parties,” she sighed.

“I doesn’t have to be tomorrow.  The next night . . . any night you so choose as long as you agree to have dinner with me, I will make sure my schedule is cleared.”

She frowned at him, “I don’t know . . .” she trailed off.

“Just come to dinner with me, and I promise, if after we’ve talked and shared a meal you still want nothing to do with me, I will honor your wishes and will never bother you again,” he said sorrowfully.  

She considered his words.  Could she really go to dinner with him?  Pretend that they hadn’t broken one another’s hearts?  She had just chewed his head off about everything that happened, and he still wanted a friendship with her.  He was crazy.  She closed her eyes, knowing she was about to make the wrong decision.

“Okay, I will have dinner with you.  I’ve got nothing to lose right?” she shrugged.  “Well, except my sanity I guess,” she deadpanned.

He released a low chuckle.  “Thank you.  Once again, I apologize for the intrusion, but I do not regret it,” he smiled lightly.  He pulled something out of his pocket, and grabbed a pen that she had lying on the table next to her laptop.  He scribbled something down, handing it to her.

“To let me know if you’re free tomorrow night,” he explained.  She nodded.  “I’ll be seeing you, Riley.” He once again moved to touch her hand, grazing her fingers lightly as he went to leave.

“Goodnight, Liam,” she whispered faintly as butterflies suddenly fluttered around in her stomach.

[ask-magala]

@dragonkingteo‘s 1000-followers Event

Contest Entry - Cats! 

Disclaimer: I don’t actually own any pets at the moment. However I have done research into pets (mostly because I want to be a good pet parent once I have a pet (つ﹏<)･ﾟ｡) I am NOT an expert by any means. Do NOT interpret the stuff in this entry as fact.

This entry is a “what if Magala Mod was a dorky YouTube (or should it be HunterTube?) blogger who owns several monsters as pets and two of them happen to be ‘Stras”. This assumes that we live in the Monster Hunter world but we somehow managed to domesticate monster (Monsties?) and keep them as pets. Its a slightly unconventional entry. 

mini cameo by @stygian-zinogre-zero

My entry stands at 9,084 characters or 1,675 words.

[Teostra sitting in a box. He turns to look at the camera.]

“Ok just a bit closer… closer… closer… yes Haru… just don’t move…. ARGH!”

BOOM!

(Insert quirky intro that involves only pictures of Teostras, Lunastras and random monsters. Cut to dorky looking mod)

“Hey there Monster Hunters! Magala mod here and today I’m gonna talk to you about…”

[picks up adorable looking Teostra. He’s doing a blep and sheds all over mod’s shirt.]

“My pet ‘Stras! This here is Haru.”

[Puts him down. Picks up a Lunastra. She wiggles.]

“And this here is Diana. Aren’t they cuties?~”

[Magala mod tries to cuddle Diana. The Lunastra just puts her paw on Magala mod’s face and pushes. Magala mod just goes (￣ ￣|||) Cut scene. They are now on the floor.]

“After I posted a picture of Haru and Diana, a lot of you guys have been asking me stuff like… Where did you get a ‘Stra? Aren’t they really hard to take care of? And aren’t they dangerous? Well I’m here to say yes. [BOOM in the background] Yes they are dangerous.”

[Magala mod runs to get a fire extinguisher.]

*Technical Difficulties - Please Stand By*

[Cuts back to floor. There are now new scorch marks. Haru is curled up on Magala mod’s lap. Diana is sitting in a box with a “I really don’t care” look on her face.]

“But they are worth it, if you can take care of them. Just like any other pet they have their needs and if you can’t give them their needs, then you should really reconsider getting one as a pet. Isn’t that right Haru?~”

[Haru stretches and goes back to sleep. Magala mod starts squishing his toebeans.]

“Ok now first things first. How did I get these two. For those of you who don’t know, all domestic ‘Stras are descended from a group of wild ‘Stras back in the 20’s. Those ‘Stras lived in a monster sanctuary in the Volcanic Hollow. They were raised as orphaned cubs, not taken from their parents like some people believe. For a while, people were breeding them to help with the wild population. Those cubs were bred for their fur and parts, instead of hunting the wild population. Remember things were different back then. Monster rights aren’t what they are now and there are seriously no health benefits to ‘Stra horns or claws.”

[Haru gets up and starts playing with Diana. She looks uninterested, but he insists.]

“They started testing for temperament and they bred calmer ‘Stras with other calmer ‘Stras. Soon they became popular pets for people. Because of this, all family lines of ‘Stras are documented. I have the family tree for these two in my files. It's pretty neat because I know who the parents are and how likely they are for certain diseases. The National ‘Stra Club and good breeders do their best to not inbreed any litters.”

[Diana smacks Haru on the face. He looks offended.]

“Ok so if you remember a few months back I was on hiatus. That was because I was picking up these two! My family and I drove all the way to Volcanic Hollow and checked out the original breeding sanctuary for ‘Stras. If you want to know more, click on the link to my video blog in the description below... And here is where this video gets serious. If you want to adopt a ‘Stra please get it from a reputable breeder.”

[Magala mod picks up Diana. She does a cute royal yawn before licking her paws.]

“The process to get these two took FOREVER. Ok. And I mean it! I was on a waiting list. A waiting list for a year. The sanctuary went to my house. They checked everything. And by the way, if you want to get a ‘Stra or any monster from the Volcanic area, check out Volcanic Lions. You can find them on Hunterbook. They take care of everything: Diana and Haru’s vaccines, spay and neuter, and microchip. They also insisted that if I could not take care of them, they would take them back. I had to sign a waiver and everything. Total these two cost me 1 million zenny.  But you two are worth it right?”

[Haru does a blep and rolls. Diana just stares with cute eyes. Magala mod cuddles her head.]

“Yeah so if you want one look out for those things = reputation, reviews, waivers, documentation. All that. Remember a reputable breeder doesn’t do this for money. Most of that money was to cover vaccine costs and the rest went to their non profit. Because ‘Stras are an exotic breed, they have to have certain vaccines and have specific things the vet needs to watch out for. I picked them up when they were 6 weeks old. They were never taken from their mom or anything. They are also well socialized.”

[Mod tries to pick up Diana again. She just stares at mod before wiggling out.]

“Ok now on to danger. Like all the exotic monster breeds. These ‘Stras are dangerous. Their explosion powder gets everywhere so get one of these.”

[picks up a Roomba vacuum. It's already filled with explosion dust.]

“I empty this thing. Every. Single. Day. Oh my Gog. Its insane. So get one of those Furminator combs too. You will need it. ‘Stras are long haired monsters so they need ALOT of grooming.”

[Puts the Roomba down. Haru and Diana hiss at it.]

“And get the fireproof model. It's worth the extra 100 zenny. Now ‘Stras are a high energy monster. They need lots of toys and entertainment… Unless your ‘Stras are like these two. Seriously. I buy them many toys.”

[Shows a whole room of toys and pet beds. Haru and Diana are loafs in cardboard boxes labeled “Konchu Express”.]

“They prefer the boxes.”

[cuts to old footage. Magala mod offers them a new expensive toy. Haru and Diana climb into the box it came in. Magala mod goes: (ლ‸－) *facepalm*]

“Make sure you trim their claws often. One of the benefits of getting ‘Stras from reputable breeders is that they are well socialized. The breeders touch their paws often so they are used to getting their claws trimmed.”

[Cuts to footage of Mod trying to trim Haru’s claws. He fusses a bit. Mod tries to trim Diana’s claws. She just daintily puts her paws in Mod’s hands.]

“Diana here is the diva. She just likes getting her way. Haru is more reckless but he’s the cuddle bug. Make sure you play with them often. Like most monsters, they have their own personalities. But since they are from a good breeder, they have good temperaments. Watch this.”

[Magala mod plays with Haru’s muzzle. He doesn’t bite. When Mod lets go, he licks her hand.]

“I highly recommend getting two. They play with each other while I’m out at work. But I know that costs more. And trust me…”

[Glances at them. Haru is tearing a box to shreds. Diana is daintily licking her paws.]

“They go through a ton of litter and food. And that goes to the last question. Are they hard to take care of? Well yes. I would not consider them a beginner pet. They are very high energy. A walk is not enough exercise for them. They love to pounce and play hunt. Lately I’ve been taking them to agility courses.”

[Cuts to footage from agility. Magala mod is showing Haru how to jump through hurdles. He runs and then sort of chews on the hurdle. Laughter in the background. Haru rolls over onto his belly and claws playfully at Magala mod.]

“I know most people see agility as something for Nargacuga. But ‘Stras can do the same. These monsters are usually bred to for show. Haru and Diana love showing off. I dunno if you can tell but Diana’s been trying to get in the camera this whole time.”

[Diana glances at the camera, before looking cute and showing off her mane.]

“So overall, ‘Stras are a really cool high energy pet. They are very loyal and they love showing off. Train them well and you won’t regret it.”

[Mod picks up Haru. He does a cute blep and shows his toebeans.]

“Remember that this is from my experience with these pets. Before going out to adopt one, make sure you do your research! If you have any questions about taking care of one I recommend asking a vet.  Before adopting, please be sure to check out your local shelter or rescue and see if you can adopt one before buying. I know I paid 1 million zenny for these two, but half of that money goes to the Volcanic Lions Rescue Foundation, a non profit rescue that rehabs and rescues wild ‘Stras.”

[Haru wiggles out of Mod’s arms. Diana gracefully walks in the shot and sits down.]

“Ok thanks for watching! Next video I’m gonna talk about one of my other pets. This has been a long time request. I’m gonna be talking about…”

[Picks up a cute Gore Magala. She realizes she’s on screen and wiggles away.]

“Maggie, my Gore Magala. I’m gonna be talking about how I got her, how I take care of her scales, and most importantly why you should adopt not purchase a Gore Magala. But specifically for ‘Stras I recommend a good breeder or a ‘Stra specific rescue. Well all that and more on the next video! Please leave a like, comment, or subscribe! I’ll do my best to answer any questions but remember if there’s a pet emergency. Please call your vet. Oh and...Happy Hunting!”

[Credits roll… Really its just the two ‘Stras playing with each other. - Cut to candid scene of Magala mod playing with the ‘Stras.]

Styg Mod (behind the camera): “Hey you do realize that between Diana, Haru, and Maggie, you have the monsters that shed the most?”

[Magala mod gives a “you don’t even know” look. Holds up the Roomba.]

Magala Mod: “And that’s why you get three of these.”

[purple-spring]

Apparitions - a SH fanfic

Author’s note: And so here it is, my labour of love and early Christmas present for the SH fandom - the sequel to ‘Tomorrow’ and ‘Coming Home’. I owe a debt of gratitude to so many people. To @jandjsalmon​, my beta/meta/co-pilot, thank you, as always, for reading and reworking and questioning and pushing this to become what it is now. Erin is my tribute to you. To @theatreofexpression​, who also read and beta’d and cheered me on, you are a gift, and I treasure our conversations. To @oleekingcole​, @gingerheel​ and @a92vm​ for all your support - I am grateful for our friendships.

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. While it is based on a number of real-life events (Riverdale auditions, shooting of Riverdale 1.06, the SH San Francisco trip), it is purely speculative, and was not intended to upset or offend.

Summary: Lili is haunted by Cole, and by her fears. When the time comes to banish her ghosts, will she fold? Or will she follow her heart?

Read below, after the cut, or on Ao3. 

“Do you believe in ghosts, Lili?”

The voice that Cole put on was ridiculous, and Lili rolled her eyes at him to indicate that she thought as much. He laughed as he grabbed her shoulder and pulled her in against him, kissing the top of her head affectionately. He’d been in a good mood ever since they landed - gleeful, even. As though by simply moving away from the confines of Vancouver, the context of work, he was immediately freed to be this - happy, carefree, relaxed Cole.

Luggage in hand, they looked up at the gaudy pink facade of the Queen Anne Hotel - apparently one of San Francisco’s most haunted spots, which looked anything but spooky in the garish light of day.

Cole turned to her. “You ready?” She nodded excitedly.

When he’d first suggested it for their weekend away, she was reluctant. Having been accustomed to their getaways in the wild woods of British Columbia, San Francisco felt like a strange, random choice. Throw in a haunted hotel, and it seemed downright bizarre. But Cole’s stubbornness, and his powers of persuasion, were the stuff of legend; he’d once spent three days locked in a bitter stalemate with Roberto over what breed Hot Dog should be, and lost, but just barely, and not for lack of trying.

While Lili was proud of the fact that she was less susceptible to Cole’s nagging (one of the advantages of being his actual girlfriend and being on the receiving end of his pleas all too often), she was certainly not immune to being swayed by a pair of piercing, pleading blue eyes and countless sleepy conversations in the morning while she was still enveloped in his arms. This, he knew, was totally unfair on his part: she was completely undone in his embrace.

“But it would be so good, Lils,” he said, nuzzling her bare belly with his nose, right where he knew it tickled. She giggled and kicked at him half-heartedly. He looked at her with a glint of mischief in his eye before biting down - gently, but firm enough to leave a mark - causing her to sit upright, cussing up a storm, before whacking him soundly with a pillow.

“Not cool,” she mumbled, rubbing gingerly at the spot where he’d bitten her, before lying back down. He smiled before bending down to kiss it apologetically, getting a sarcastic little pat on the cheek in return.

“Seriously, though,” he said, resting his cheek back on her stomach and looking up at her. “It would be intriguing, right?”

“I don’t know, Cole. I mean, why would I want to stay overnight at a haunted hotel? That’s just asking for it.”

“Asking for what, exactly?”

“Like, asking to be haunted, I guess?”

Cole’s head popped up as he gave her a skeptical look. “You don’t believe in that shit, do you?”

“Hey, might I remind you that your own brother believes in that shit? Remember when he freaked out at the Chateau Marmont?”

“Yeah, but that’s Dylan. Which reminds me, I need to send him my monthly text message asking him if he’s felt any more of that weird energy he was harping on about.” Lili smirked at that. Round infinity of the Sprouse Roast Battle. “As for you, though, I thought you’d be more of a skeptic about that sort of stuff.”

“Me?” Lili paused, chewing on her bottom lip thoughtfully. “I don’t know. I’d say that I have a healthy dose of fear and superstition. Like, say, if someone read my tea leaves or something and said that they saw misfortune in my future? Eh. Whatever.”

Cole grinned at her, the dimples over his top lip deepening in the laugh that threatened to spill out of him. “Alright, ‘fess up, Lils. Who read your tea leaves? Was it Mads? It was totally Mads, right?”

“No!” Lili laughed. “She’s a vegan, Cole, not some earth goddess.”

“Oh, come on, like she wouldn’t be reading your tea leaves.”

“Okay. First of all, no-one read my tea leaves, I was making a point. Secondly, you know I don’t drink tea. It’s basically —“

“Flavoured hot water, yes, you’ve said so a million times.”

“Exactly. And thirdly, leave my beautiful precious vegan bean alone.” Cole laughed and settled his head back on her tummy. “Anyway, that sort of stuff, I wouldn’t sweat. But staying overnight at a hotel that’s actually known to be haunted? Come on. That’s some serious, next-level insanity.”

“I’m just saying,” he mumbled, face down on her bare skin. “It would be interesting.”

Lili narrowed her eyes. “Okay. Out with it, Sprouse. What’s your angle? Why are you pushing so hard for this?”

“No angle.” Cole slung his arm over her waist and looked up at her. “Just, you know, a fun weekend with my girl. And the pictures would be cool, don’t you think?”

She pushed a lock of hair away from his eyes. “There are cool pictures to be taken anywhere, and you of all people should know that.”

“Okay, fine then. It would be an adventure. And you love adventures, don’t you?”

Lili smiled, still bashful over his reference to her birthday greeting. “Yeah, but to somewhere that potentially houses a ghostly presence?”

He sat up and stared at her levelly. “Wow. You honestly don’t remember?”

She racked her brain desperately. Nothing stood out. “Sorry. I’m out.”

“Come on. The abandoned mental hospital? Season 1 shooting in Coquitlam?” He looked mildly hurt. “I thought you would’ve made the connection, Lils. It’s coming up to a year.”

Shit. Of course. Lili wanted to smack herself in the face. Did she really forget? Wait. That didn’t sound right. She made the calculations in her head.

“Cole, that was in November. We’re planning for this weekend in October.”

“It’s close.”

Lili laughed. “It’s barely close!”

“It’s close enough.”

“Well, you made me feel like shit for forgetting. And I didn’t.” Her eyes softened at the memory. “Come on. How could I forget that?”

Indeed, how could she? Riverview Hospital. Filming Episode 6. Cole, surrounded by the debris of a decrepit asylum, his hands cupping her face, the two of them emotional but also laughing at the absurdity of having a moment in the midst of an abandoned mental hospital, of all places.

As they now stood in front of the Queen Anne, his arm around her shoulder, hers wrapped around his waist, she recognised that perhaps it had slipped her mind momentarily because all of that felt like a whole lifetime ago. In that moment, as they lay in bed, caught up in travel plans and each other, those days of secrecy and second-guessing and sneaking kisses around the set seemed like ancient history.

It was his question, unintentionally, that brought it all back. It reminded her of the days when she was unsure about what she meant to him, or even what he meant to her. When he was nothing but an apparition that lurked in the corners of her mind and made her heart clench in its tender, invisible grip.

Do you believe in ghosts, Lili?

She sure did.

He was once one of hers.

…

It was at auditions for Riverdale that they’d first crossed paths. She’d been engrossed in her script, running over lines in her head with her earphones plugged in, barely conscious of the fact that some guy she had never met before had been nudging her foot repeatedly to get her attention. One last, hard nudge did it: she finally looked up, startled, as he motioned for her to remove her earphones.

“Hey, are you Lili?” She nodded and replied in the affirmative. “I think they’re calling your name.”

Her first thought was, oh, shit. She scrambled to get all her things together, willing herself to stay calm.

Her second thought, as she conversed briefly with Foot Nudge Guy, was, oh, hey. Kinda cute?

But she had no time to extend that thought as she hurriedly said goodbye to her friend Israel (who was trying out for both Archie and Jughead) and rushed off into her audition. It wasn’t until later when Israel came over to catch up and debrief over dinner that she realised who it was.

“You are bullshitting me.” She froze while rummaging in the kitchen drawer. “Cole Sprouse? Like, Cody Martin Cole Sprouse? You’re telling me that he was the guy who was nudging my foot?”

“Yeah, it was definitely him. They called his name out and everything,” replied Israel. He laughed suddenly. “Everyone in the room was falling all over themselves to get a glimpse of him, and you were literally the only person he spoke to, and you barely noticed him.”

Lili shrugged sheepishly. “Well, I was prepping for my audition.”

“Fair. Also, I think he might’ve been auditioning for Archie as well. Just my luck.”

“Aw, come on. You totally should’ve just psyched him out, Izzy. Stared him down, or pushed him as you walked past or something.”

Israel laughed. “Fuck, dude. Like I’m really gonna psych out Cole Sprouse. The guy’s been acting since he was in diapers.”

“Yeah, I know,” Lili paused thoughtfully. She thought of the guy that she saw at the audition - completely unassuming, determinedly normal - and felt a pang of sympathy for him, an actor who was just trying to book a job, but with all the added pressure of everyone staring and speculating and wanting a piece of him. “I wonder what drew him back to acting.”

“Who knows? Didn’t he and his brother go to college for a while?”

“That’s what I heard.”

Just then, Israel’s phone buzzed on the table. He gave Lili a nervous glance before picking it up. He read it quickly, then his face fell. “Shit. My agent. I didn’t get the part.”

“Aw, Iz.” She walked over and consoled him by patting his shoulder. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.” Israel visibly relaxed. “Actually, you know what? This is good. I don’t think I told you - I auditioned for this other film, which went really well, and I was kinda nervous that I’d have to pick between that and Riverdale if I got this one, too.”

“That’s awesome. So I guess the universe made that decision for you, huh?”

“Totally.”

“And, you know, worse comes to worse, you’ve always got my famous curly fries to give you solace.”

“More like your frozen bag specialty curly fries.”

Lili beamed as the oven timer sounded. “Hey, don’t hate. Haters don’t get curly fries.”

She was pulling the fries out of the oven when her phone rang. Israel glanced at her. As working actors, they knew what a phone call meant, as opposed to a text message.

“Lils?”

“Yep. I know.” Lili took a deep breath and held her phone in her hand as it kept ringing. She faced away from the room, keeping her face close to one of the kitchen walls. Inhale, exhale. Repeat. She finally answered the call. “Hi, Lili here.”

The next few moments were a blur, out of which she could only remember the most mundane details. The heat emanating from the open oven. The tired, pale pink paint of the wall she was facing. The distinct smell of fries. And the way she looked down at her shirt to check if it was puffing out from how hard and fast her heart was beating.

She hung up and turned to Israel, tears in her eyes. He knew. And she would remember what he was about to say to her in that moment for a long time. She would mark it as the veil that divided her life into Before and After, foreshadowing not only Riverdale, but everything else - Vancouver, the long days and nights of shooting, the thrill and loneliness of her sudden skyrocket to fame, the comfort of unexpected friendships.

And, of course, Cole.

“Lils,” Israel said in a half-whisper. “I literally just watched your life change.”

…

That was the beginning. Back then, Cole had been a half-formed spectre that dipped its toe into her head every now and then, making the occasional ripple.

And then she took his jacket home by accident, and things started to change.

Roberto had called her not long after her agent did, warmly congratulating her on getting the part and looking to arrange a meeting with her and the guy who booked Jughead’s role.

“We haven’t confirmed it with him just yet,” Roberto said, laughing. “So we’ll hold off letting you know who it is for now. It’ll be a good surprise on the day.”

Despite the uncertainty, Lili was excited. She knew that the show had only been green-lit for a pilot episode at that point, but the prospect of working on a potentially big project - one that could mean a new life as a full-fledged working actress - thrilled her. And she was also excited to meet one of her future castmates.

Walking into the production office that day, Lili regretted not bringing a cardigan. It was an unusually hot spring day in LA, and as a result, the building was blasting its air conditioner at full strength. She’d dressed carefully for the meeting, mimicking an outfit she saw on Betty in one of the special edition Betty comics - a red, strappy sundress with yellow flowers printed on it. She found it at a thrift store, and couldn’t believe her luck. She knew that Roberto, being the creative director of the comics, would recognise it immediately and appreciate the reference.

What she wasn’t expecting was the fact that the guy playing Jughead would recognise it, too.

Or that said guy was Cole Sprouse.

What. The actual. Fuck. She recognised him and silently cursed Israel for getting the guy’s audition details wrong. He said Cole was auditioning for Archie! How am I supposed to deal with this now?

Cole was already seated and reading (she caught a glimpse of Hemingway on the book spine), and suddenly she feared doing something stupid or awkward as she walked into the reception area. Somehow, she managed not to trip over herself, or make a strange noise, or stare longer than necessary, and for that she quietly congratulated herself.

She couldn’t help it, though - she stole a quick glance. Lili realised that she had only been partially right about him seeming normal. Because while he did look the part - dressed as he was in dark khakis, a plain white shirt, worn tan jacket, with a large backpack sitting at his feet - her keen eyes recognised that he carried with him the aura and glow of difference, of being just a little more special than everyone else. It was in his eyes - they were bright, active, perpetually amused. They carried the playful air of a prince pretending to be a pauper.

Lili sat down two seats away from him, unsure whether she should initiate a conversation. As it turned out, she didn’t need to worry - he spoke to her first.

“Betty comics, number 12, 1994,” Cole said, startling her out of her apprehension. She looked up, and he was looking at her with a subtle, half-formed smile. “Right?”

“Uh, excuse me?”

“Your outfit. It’s Betty’s. From the special edition Betty spin-off.” He looked away and chewed on his lower lip thoughtfully. “Or maybe it was number 11?”

“Number 13, actually. ‘Paper Caper.’” Lili smiled at him. “But good try.”

“Ah, damn it. Knew I should’ve crammed for the impromptu Archie universe quiz.” Cole leaned over and offered his hand. “I’m Cole, by the way.”

She took his hand and shook it. It was warm to the touch, and his handshake was firm while the skin was smooth, though slightly calloused at the knuckles. A craftsman’s hands. She remembered that he was a photographer now. “Hey, Cole. I’m — “

“Lili, yeah. From auditions. I remember.”

What the hell? He remembers me? She masked her surprise by laughing at the memory. “That’s right, I think I have you and your foot to thank for getting me to my audition in time.”

“Damn straight. My foot will now take a small cut of all future earnings as a token of your gratitude.”

She laughed. “Sweet. Does it take AMEX?”

“This is a cash-only operation, kid. Sorry.”

“Cash-only, huh? And here I was thinking this was completely legit.”

“Whoa, hey. Cole Sprouse, Foot and Co is a totally legitimate outfit.”

There it was. His name, his famous, well-known name - though couched within a joke - was now released into the ether. She felt it hanging in the air between them - an unwanted phantom reminding them that they weren’t just two random strangers who managed to hit it off immediately, that his fame made it a little more complicated than that. She could tell that he knew it, too, and that, like her, he was regretting the awkward halt to their spitfire banter. She decided to change the subject. “So... you know comics, huh?”

Cole beamed. Lili was touched to see his relief at the distraction. “Oh, yeah. I worked at this huge comic book store on Sunset Boulevard for a while.”

“You mean Meltdown?”

“Yeah, that’s the one.” His eyes lit up. “You know it?”

“I do,” Lili said. “I, um, actually have this thing for special effects make-up, and I’ve been there a few times to pick up some inspiration.”

“No kidding. You got any pictures of your work?”

She felt shy all of a sudden. “Yeah. Did you wanna see them?”

Cole got up and settled into the seat right next to her. “I do, actually. I’d love to.”

She unlocked her phone, opening to the album containing all of her work before leaning over to show him. This close, she caught his scent; a mix of pine, laundry soap, and the faint undertone of cigarettes. She wasn’t sure why, but she consciously committed it to memory.

“So, um, these are a few that I did on some friends…”

She swiped through, showing him pictures of cosplay makeup she had done during Comic Con season, some prosthetic work (which fascinated Cole the most), and some Halloween looks she had experimented with. She was in the middle of showing him her 2D Wonder Woman look when he paused, seemingly intent on something, before gently placing his hand on her forearm.

It was a jolt to her senses. It was so sudden, yet so innocent and unassuming. She looked up at him, and their eyes met. They were close enough that she could take a closer look at him, count the freckles and moles that formed a constellation on his face.

“Goosebumps,” he announced matter-of-factly. “You’re cold.”

“Um, yeah,” she conceded. This close to him, she could barely think straight. “It’s freezing in here.”

Cole stood up and shrugged his jacket off. “Here, put this on.”

“What? Oh, no, I couldn’t possibly --”

“Lili. Honestly, it’s fine.” She felt a small, unexpected thrill at the sound of her name coming out of his lips. It sounded both foreign and familiar, as though he’d known how to say it his entire life, and she was hearing him say it for the first time today. “Besides, I’ve been numbed and hardened to the cold by many a bitter New York winter.” As he said this, he put on an old man voice, which cracked her up. “This jacket is purely for aesthetic purposes.”

She took the jacket from him and put it on. Aside from the extra bulk, it felt like a second skin - warm, well-worn, comfortable, protective. She looked down at her outfit. “Not much of a Betty now, though, am I?”

Cole shrugged and smiled. “Still looks good.”

Lili froze while her mind went overdrive. Was that a compliment? Wait, is he flirting with me? Are we FLIRTING? But before she had time to think this through, a door had opened and a PA was inviting them to step in. Cole picked his bag up and gave her a bemused look before gesturing ceremoniously towards the door.

“Well,” he said. “Shall we?”

The meeting was fairly casual, with Roberto wanting his first two co-stars to meet each other properly and to get a glimpse into the planned narrative arcs for their respective characters (if the pilot was successful). The entire process was fascinating to both of them - Cole had obviously been out of acting for a while, and Lili had never worked on anything as large-scale as Roberto was planning for Riverdale to be. A whirlwind of storyboards and script teases and sketches made time pass quickly, and soon Lili found herself being ushered back out to the waiting area with Cole. Both of them were buzzing with anticipation.

“Well…” Lili started. The sentence trailed off and finished in a grin. There was no other response, no words for how excited she felt about working on Riverdale.

“Yeah.” Cole nodded. He seemed to be in a daze as well. He caught her eye and she couldn’t help it. She burst out laughing. He did, too. Out of pure mirth. As if they couldn’t believe their luck.

“This is crazy, right?” she said.

“Absolutely fucking crazy.” A short pause settled into their conversation as Cole seemed to mull something over. “Hey, you doing anything right now?”

Lili’s joyful mood dissolved as it gave way to nerves. Is he…? No. Don’t be ridiculous, Lili. Anyway, you’ve got something on. Gah. “Um… I am, actually,” she said. “I’m catching up with a friend over dinner. I haven’t seen her in ages.”

“Ah.” Cole nodded. “You live around here though, right? LA?”

“Yep. I’m an Ohio girl, though.”

“Awesome. We should hang out sometime.”

It was a statement, not a question, and from anyone else, at any other given time, it would’ve sounded arrogant. But not from Cole. Because Lili knew, as well as he did, that he was just following through to the natural conclusion of the afternoon they just had - the banter, the ease, the strong, natural pull between them. It was beyond chemistry. It felt… spiritual. Supernatural.

Still, given who he was and how closely they’d be working together in the next few months, she was naturally hesitant. And so she was surprised to hear herself replying:

“Yeah, we should.”

Lili knew, from the moment they exchanged numbers, from the way she watched the deft movement of his fingers as they entered her contact details into his phone. She knew when he pulled her in for a hug before saying goodbye and felt her body melting into his. She knew when she jumped into her Uber and realised, with a surprise, that she was still wearing his jacket. And that he didn’t ask for it back, either.

She knew. It was a foregone conclusion.

She was haunted by Cole.

...

The next few months passed by in a golden blur. Slowly, Lili’s days filled up with preparing for Riverdale. And with Cole. He texted her often, and called most nights. She met Dylan, as well as Cole’s entire social set from the West Coast, and soon became friends with them as well. He took her around to where he was staying in LA - at Debby’s - where they’d watch sunsets and pet her cats while talking about everything and nothing at all. He gave her unnecessarily detailed lectures on how to use her camera. She sent him memes.

At first, it was fine. She figured that whatever she felt for him at the production meeting was a fluke and would eventually dissolve with time. Except... they didn’t. Instead, she could feel something taking root in her heart. Whether it was infatuation or love, she couldn’t quite tell just yet. But it was there. And it made her panic.

When he told her how he felt for her, his confession whispered in the early hours of morning as they lay together on the couch at Debby’s place, that panic was replaced by euphoria, which was only heightened with each frenzied kiss, each extended ‘good night’ over the phone. They kept things between them for the time being, wanting to preserve and protect this still-undefined thing that they had, away from all the noise. They carefully avoided any talk of the future, living day to day just as Cole had promised: tomorrow, he had said. Tomorrow, you’ll still have me. And, faithfully, Lili held onto that.

But with each day that passed on the Riverdale set, the harsh black and white of reality slowly seeped into the technicolor dream that was her world with Cole. The hours were long, the schedule was gruelling, and she found herself mentally and physically exhausted by the demands of playing Betty Cooper. She started feeling more moody and brooding, despite Cole’s best efforts to make her laugh, as well as his constant insistence on pulling her into some unknown corner on set to sneak in a secret kiss. At first, she put it down to simple fatigue, and took naps whenever she could. But as the weeks wore on, she felt essentially the same, and it worried her.

One morning, after a night of tossing and turning, Lili turned up early to the Riverdale stages, where they were filming for the day. She’d woken up at 5 after finally drifting off to sleep only four hours prior to that. Frustrated at having gotten so little sleep, she threw off her covers and picked up her phone to check the time, and saw that she missed a text from Cole.

“KJ still shredding his guitar at 2 am. He claims that the apartment is sound-proof but clearly it’s not inconsideration-proof. Tempted to call cops on ourselves. Live with me? Please? KENETI SUX (don’t tell him I said that).”

It should have made Lili smile. Except that she noted the same strain of worry tugging at her, making her feel anxious. She tried to shrug it off, but as she got up to get ready for the day, she felt it sticking to her ribs and crowding her lungs.

“Lili?” Madelaine walked into out into living room, bleary-eyed and still in her pajamas. The two girls were sharing an apartment in Vancouver, which Lili was grateful for. They were both homebodies, happy to bunker down and watch old episodes of Friends while everyone else was out partying. “What the hell? Are we due on set this early?”

“No, babe. Go back to sleep. We’re due in at 9.” Lili got a mug out and starting spooning coffee granules into it. “I just woke up early, that’s all.”

Madelaine gave her a look as she eyed the coffee container in Lili’s hand. “Uh, Lils? You don’t drink coffee.”

“I know.”

“And that’s my organic, shade-grown, vegan-certified coffee.” She considered Lili carefully. “Are you okay?”

Lili picked up the container and looked at the label. “Huh. Didn’t realise. Should do me fine, though.”

Madelaine walked over to her. “Hey, look at me.” Lili turned, and Madelaine gasped in fake horror. “Okay, whoa, we are gonna need some face masks tonight because those eye bags are killing me, girl. Those are Cole level eye bags.” Lili gave a short, humourless laugh at that. “Honestly though, are you alright? You haven’t been yourself these past few days.”

“I know, Mads. I’m sorry.”

“Hey, don’t be sorry. That’s you, and that’s how you feel. Doesn’t matter what it’s about. Don’t apologise for that.” Madelaine rubbed her back, and Lili felt tears welling up in her eyes. She was tired and worried for no apparent reason, and Mads was being so kind and maternal, and it took all of her energy and willpower not to burst into frustrated tears. She turned to her and gave her a quick hug.

“Thanks. I’ll be okay. And, um…” Lili looked pointedly and regretfully at the mug of unmade vegan coffee.

Madelaine rolled her eyes and laugh. “Yep, I’ll get rid of this.”

Lili smiled and headed out the door. “Love you, Mads.”

“Love you too, Lils.”

Lili drove in to the studio lot. There was hardly anyone at the stages when she walked in. Britta, one of the series writers, waved at her happily and came over. “Hey, Lilibeth,” she said, using the crew’s favourite nickname for Lili. “Shit, what time is it? I didn’t know you guys were due to come in already.”

“Nah, you’re fine. I got up early, actually.” On cue, Lili stifled a yawn. “Thought I might as well come to set, get some prep work in.”

“Yeah, well, don’t work yourself too hard just yet. It’ll probably be a while before we start shooting. Have a walk around for now. Hair and makeup should be getting set up soon.”

“Thanks, Brit.”

“No problem. Oh, and hey, is Cole around?”

Lili went still. Why was she being asked about Cole ? Did they know? For some reason, this bothered her more than it should have. “Um, no...? Why?”

“Oh, I’ve just got something on script he needs to check. No biggie. I’ll catch you later, okay?”

Lili picked up a hot chocolate from craft services and walked around the stages, stopping to chat and say hi to people here and there. As sleep-deprived as she was, she was enjoying this - seeing the cameras rolled out across the floor, the set designers hard at work adding little details to each interior, the script supervisors flipping through the scripts and marking things off their lists.

This was the life she had chosen, since age 14. There was no Plan B for her - she decided that for herself a long time ago. It was going to be acting or nothing. And now here she was, in the midst of a dream come true, and yet something was niggling at her, and she couldn’t figure it out.

As Lili walked past the Cooper house stage, she slowed down.

She and Cole would be filming there the next day - their first onscreen kiss. She remembered, with a smile, how they had received the script and read over it together in her apartment, kiss included and all. He played the role of director too, joking that each kiss wasn’t good enough (“Come on, I’m just not FEELING it, Lili.” “Shut up, Cole.” “Make me.” And she did).

Standing here now, though, she felt none of that pure elation and only felt… apprehension. They had joked about it all week since reading the script, but now that they were coming up to it, Lili felt more and more nervous, almost as if…

Hang on.

She stopped in her tracks. The truth finally crashed over her.

It was simple. So simple she couldn’t believe that she hadn’t seen it coming. Her reaction to Cole’s text that morning, Britta’s innocent query regarding his whereabouts...

She was running scared.

It was staring her straight in the face, literally, as she faced the exterior of the Cooper house stage. Here, her work, her dreams, and all the sweat and toil she had invested into them, were about to intersect with a relationship that was still taking its first, tentative steps.

And she had no idea what was going to happen.

Because this wasn’t how the story was supposed to go. Not in her mind. Not when she started out on this path. She had landed the biggest role of her career and the trajectory of her life was meant to be straightforward and predictable from then on.

Cole, however, was an unexpected twist in the tale. She didn’t see him coming, and now that they had collided head-on, she was reeling from the impact.

The questions came to her mind, fast and unbidden.

What if we hold each other back?

What if this doesn’t work?

What happens when people find out?

What happens when we fight?

What if he loses his focus?

What if I lose mine?

And, most painful of all. What if I lose HIM?

Lili walked up the steps to the Cooper house in a half-daze, and she sat herself down on the doorstep to collect her thoughts. The euphoria and afterglow of being with Cole had kept all these questions at bay, but now, as reality was setting in, they were being unleashed, and she was powerless to stop them.

Suddenly, everything she took for granted in the past few months was overshadowed by the cold sting of fear.

Suddenly, she wasn’t sure she wanted this kiss to happen.

…

Lili felt out of sorts for the rest of that day. Thankfully, it was a light day, shooting-wise - just a few filler scenes before they got around to the heavier sequences over the next few days.

Cole arrived on set later in the afternoon, just as Lili was finishing. He was on his way out of the makeup trailer when she stepped in for her clean-up. She was so lost in her thoughts that she bumped into him on the steps leading up.

“Whoa!” he said, laughing as he steadied her by the shoulders. “Has someone been drinking the acetone?”

“Cole,” she breathed out. She felt spooked seeing him, as if her thoughts had materialised this apparition standing in front of her.

“You okay?”

“Yeah.” Lili racked her brains for something, anything, to say. “So, ah, you’re shooting today?”

Cole gave her a funny look. ”Yeah. I work here, Lils. Not just a pretty face, you know.” He smirked at her, eyebrows raised, lips slightly puckered - a deliberate ‘pretty’ pose. Despite the fact that it was so ridiculous and put on, it still melted her.

“Of course, yeah. Stupid question.”

He narrowed his eyes at her. “You sure you’re alright?”

“Totally.” She forced herself to smile. “Oh. Hey. I’m sorry I didn’t reply to your text earlier.”

“Which one?”

“KJ shredding guitar at 2 am. Hang on, you sent me another one?” She slipped her hand into her pocket, looking for her phone.

“Yeah, just a few hours ago. I figured you’d be filming.” He chuckled at a sudden memory. “Oh, and as for KJ, I ended up throwing a carrot at his head. Not my most impressive enactment of a visual metaphor - because ‘carrot top’, of course - but it got the message across.”

“You guys actually have carrots at your place?”

Cole rolled his eyes. “KJ juices.”

“Oh. Right.” Despite herself, she giggled at the mental image she had conjured of KJ chopping up vegetables and throwing them into a blender (“Carrots. Pineapple. Ginger. Legends.”).

He smiled at the sight of her laughing. “Hey, so, the text I sent you. Apparently, this place we’re  shooting at in two days? Is haunted as fuck.”

“Really?” She slid the lock button on her screen to open his message, and there it was - a screenshot of an article he’d been reading on Atlas Obscura. She looked at the description and read it out loud. “’Riverview Hospital, historic insane asylum… what untold stories could be uncovered from the relics of an institution that has witnessed the torment of so many personal demons?’ Holy shit.”

“Right?” Cole looked as though all his dreams had come true. “So you in?”

“Am I in? For what?”

Cole gave an enigmatic little grin. “A little urban exploring adventure.”

On any given day, Lili would have jumped at the opportunity. But not today, not after her earlier revelation on the steps of the Cooper house. She wasn’t sure she could take some extended alone time with Cole right now. “Look. It sounds great. But honestly, I am way too much of a wuss for that.”

Cole scoffed. “You? Seriously? Come on. And anyway, I’ll be there. I’ll bring my camera and everything. It’ll be fun.”

“Cole.” Lili was starting to fret inside. She had to dissuade him somehow. This would be in two days. It was going to be the day after their kiss scene. She wasn’t sure how that was going to work, what the aftermath would be.

“What?” His face fell slightly. “You don’t wanna come?”

“Can I just… can I let you know closer to the day?”

Cole shrugged, obviously a little disappointed. “Alright then. Just let me know soon. I want you there, Lils.” He leaned in slightly, his voice dropping. “It won’t be much of an adventure without you.” He looked around quickly before swooping in to kiss her playfully on the cheek, and walked off in the direction of the stages.

Lili felt the outline of his lips on her skin as she watched him leave, and knew that it would stay there for a while.

Don’t do that, she thought. Don’t make me fall harder for you than I’m falling right now.

…

The morning drive felt like a meditation. Lili had woken up extra early to prepare herself for the scene, reading over her script again, reciting it out loud to herself, then repeating it without the paper in front of her.

But that was just a distraction. After all, she was always pretty good with memorising dialogue. On her drive to the set, she was focusing on an entirely different set of words.

It’s just another scene.

It’s just another scene.

It’s just another scene.

She repeated it to herself like a mantra as she drove, and if she had a little bit longer - an extra day, perhaps - she would have eventually believed it. But as she pulled into the parking lot, she felt her palms sweating on the steering wheel, her stomach filling with butterflies. She wondered whether Cole was feeling the same.

Come to think of it, he hadn’t messaged her that morning, hadn’t brought the kiss up in conversation in the past few days. Maybe I’m overthinking this. Maybe it would be fine.

But as she slipped on her costume for the day - Betty’s usual jeans paired with a light, cream-coloured V-neck sweater - she became aware of the same questions plaguing her mind from the day before. What if we hold each other back? What if this doesn’t work? What if I lose him?

It was going to be a long day.

Cole was already at the Cooper house stage when she arrived, drinking coffee and laughing with some of the film crew. He caught her eye as she walked in, and he gave her a soft smile and raised his cup at her by way of greeting. Looking to avoid him, she gave him a quick nod and a wave before finding a spot on a couch on the other side of the room, lying down and closing her eyes.

She wasn’t even aware that she’d dozed off until one of the crew tapped her on the shoulder. She got up, had her ponytail fixed quickly, and nervously ascended the stairs to Betty’s bedroom.

She didn’t even get a chance to speak to him properly before shooting started. Steven, their director, was at the bottom of the ladder outside Betty’s window, talking Cole through the scene. He did the same with her earlier, and as she waited, she stared at the bits of duct tape on the floor that marked her blocking cues. They had blocked the scene fairly quickly, and in that time, she and Cole were both bristling with a nervous energy that prevented them from saying too much to one another. They both sensed the significance of the scene. Roberto, who had written the episode, was taking a rare break from working through scripts and was standing next to one of the cameras, eager to see how the scene would pan out. It was a big day for the series: the birth of Bughead.

The scene as it was scripted would be fairly simple: Jughead would knock on the window, wait for Betty to open it, and say his line. He’d climb through, they’d have their exchange and turn to face each other. After that, it was onto the kiss - bold, swift and immediate, just as Roberto and Tessa had written it in the script. She’d be startled, she’d remember Jason’s car, and they’d end it with their sleuthing dialogue. Easy.

Well, easier said than done, Lili thought.

Soon enough, Steven was standing behind the camera, and the scene was ready to be filmed. “Quiet on the set!” someone yelled. Lili sat at Betty’s vanity, fiddling with her necklace. A chorus of voices signalled the start of shooting.

“Roll it— ”

“We’re rolling.”

“Thirty-three, take one, and—”

“Action!”

A tap on the window. Lili turned around, performing her first beat perfectly. Cole stepped through into Betty’s room, and they moved seamlessly through their blocking - Betty walking ahead of Jughead, turning to him every now and then as they went through their dialogue.

Betty was meant to be distracted in this scene, and Lili played that up, making sure to avoid looking at Cole. But as he said the line “they’re parents, they’re all crazy,” she couldn’t help it - she looked up briefly, and noticed that his own eyes were downcast. That they seemed to be avoiding her.

Well, that’s different. In rehearsals, Cole usually delivered the line straight, with a confident, knowing smirk. Here, Lili could feel a different energy emanating from him, but she couldn’t name it, couldn’t be distracted, not now when was being swept up in the mood of the scene.

“Also…”

Well. Here we are. Jughead’s big line. The prelude to the kiss. She braced herself.

“What?” she replied.

She looked expectantly at Cole. He should have been kissing her by now. Instead, his gaze flitted anxiously over her, his eyebrows drawn together as though in confusion.

Oh my god. Did he forget this part? The air thickened with tension. Lili grew nervous as she felt the room weighing in on them, and she racked her brain desperately, trying to think of what to do as the cameras kept rolling. She decided to cue him in again. It was technically off-script, but never mind - he’d thank her later for stepping in.

She repeated her line, a little more forcefully. “What?”

And then, there. In that flash of a second, she saw it.

Doubt. Hesitation. Fear.

All in his eyes. All mirroring her own.

In that moment, it shocked her. Cole - confident, self-assured Cole - was standing here in front of her in such vulnerability.

And she saw the truth that had eluded her in these past few days, the one she would’ve guessed at, had she been paying attention.

That she wasn’t the only who was afraid.

That he was haunted, too.

But before she could process any of this properly, she was startled back into the present as he visibly switched gears, stepping in swiftly to close the distance between their lips, right when she least expected it.

It was unlike anything they had ever rehearsed or even done in real life. It wasn’t what the script called for. It started out like a cymbal crash, but turned tenuous and tender - a quiet question mark rather than the decisive full stops or passionate exclamation marks that characterised her kisses with Cole.

And she was hopelessly lost, enveloped in this secret part of him that he was unknowingly letting her into. It felt intimate, to be staring into this fissure that he had exposed. It didn’t scare her; it felt right. It threw her into blissful relief, to feel the tentativeness in that kiss, to feel her own uncertainty mirrored and marked onto her lips by his own.

As they parted, she smiled, purely out of reflex. Cole’s hand was still cupping her face, and he released a deep sigh that seemed to take up his whole body.

“Cut.”

Steven’s voice was like a temple bell cutting through the transcendence of the moment, calling them all back to reality. Lili was confused. The scene wasn’t over yet. She turned to the crew and saw that they were all transfixed. Roberto’s eyes were misting over behind his glasses.

“Guys, that was….” He was momentarily lost for words. “That was it. That was the take.”

Britta, who was the script supervisor for the scene, cleared her throat. “Roberto, that wasn’t how you and Tessa planned it on the script here. You okay with that?”

“Am I okay with it?” Roberto shook his head in incredulity and turned to their director, who looked just as moved as the rest of the crew. “What do you think, Steve?”

Steven looked over to Cole and Lili, taking them in thoughtfully, as though he was seeing them in a new light. “I know we still had a few lines to go, but I had to stop it there because I wasn’t sure how you’d play the next beat, and quite frankly, I wanted to make sure that we preserved that on film.”

“Preserved what?” Lili asked.

Steven smiled at her. “Magic.”

…

Before Lili knew it, the scene had wrapped. She was desperate to speak to Cole, but Roberto had already cornered him in what appeared to be a fairly intense conversation. She loitered around for a few minutes, but gave up after they sat down on the couch, apparently settling in for a long discussion.

It was her only scene for the day. Lili made her way back to the makeup trailer in a pensive daze, watching her feet as they measured out her steps. She had no idea how she ended up seated in front of the mirror, with Erin, the head makeup artist on the show, handing her a cotton ball soaked in cleanser.

“Alright, you beauty,” she said, smiling. “Let’s get you cleaned up and on your way home.”

Lili complied, methodically wiping the makeup off her face. She loved this. For her, it was an important part of her day, this literal stripping away of character. And she especially loved doing it with Erin, who had become a close friend to her in the months that they’d been doing Riverdale together, and who was one of the few people who actually knew about her and Cole. Often, she’d sit in the chair long after her makeup had been taken off, having long talks with her and sharing skin care tips and chocolate.

Erin busied herself with cleaning her brushes while Lili wiped off her eye makeup. “So. Everything go alright with the big scene today?”

Lili paused, the cotton ball poised over her eyelid. “Yeah. It went really well, actually.”

“Great.” Erin smiled warmly at her before turning back to her brushes. This was another reason why Lili loved her. She knew when to leave her be.

They were both quiet for a few moments, with nothing but the sound of running water echoing in the empty trailer. Erin tapped the brushes dry over the sink, then turned around and smiled at Lili through the mirror. “All done, then?”

Lili nodded. Erin took the cotton ball from her and threw it in the bin, before handing her a warm towel.

Lili dangled it loosely in her hand, thinking to herself. “Erin?”

“Yes, lovely?”

“What do you do when…” Lili’s voice trailed off, and she pursed her lips, unsure of how to complete that sentence. Erin stood by, waiting patiently.

“What do you do,” she started again, “when you’re absolutely sure that you’re right where you want to be, and you want to move things forward, but for some reason… you’re just scared shitless?”

Erin pulled up a chair right next to her and sat down. “Are we talking about a certain young Jeep-driving photographer here?”

“Well… yes. Partially. But it’s to do with everything else as well.” Lili exhaled a long breath. “Riverdale. Our careers. Everything.”

“Okay.” Erin nodded. “What do you think is making you scared?”

“I don’t know. I keep running through all these questions in my head - questions that maybe I should have been asking myself months ago, but didn’t. Or couldn’t.” Because I was crazy about Cole and still am and everything feels irrelevant whenever he says my name or his hands are on my skin. “Either way, I think they’re all essentially asking the same thing.”

“And what’s that?”

Lili turned her gaze on Erin, her eyes full of worry. “What if this breaks us?” she asked, her voice small. “What if it breaks me? ”

Erin sighed, and took Lili’s hands in hers.

“Lili, how did you get started on all this?”

“What, on Cole?”

Erin chuckled. “No, not Cole, honey. We all know how that started. The boy is very charming. And he was always nuts about you.” Lili smiled at that. “I mean acting. Your career.”

“Well… a lot of auditioning. A lot of getting knocked back.”

“I mean before that. Why did you audition? Why did you keep getting up, even when you got knocked back?”

Lili gave a short laugh. “Because it was the only thing I was good at?”

Erin swatted her arm lightly. “That isn’t even remotely true and you know it. Come on. Tell me.”

Lili paused thoughtfully. “It was the only thing I ever really wanted to do. It’s where my heart was. Or is.” She sighed. “It’s where my heart is.”

“Well.” Erin patted her hand. “Isn’t that your answer, then?”

“My answer? How?”

“Lili. Think about it. Your heart led you to acting. In that process, did it ever betray you?”

“No.”

“Did it ever fail to warn you of danger? Or lead you to the wrong door?

“No.”

“Did it ever leave you high and dry? In all those times when you were auditioning and failing and starting over, did it ever leave you short of passion, or tell you to give up?”

“No.”

Erin leaned forward, making sure that she listened. “Then follow it, Lili. Trust it. It hasn’t led you astray yet, and it won’t start now.”

Suddenly, Lili knew what she had to do.

“Erin…” She had no words. She’ll just have to express her gratitude later. “I’ll be back.”

She stood up and hugged Erin fiercely, before running out of the trailer.

Lili ran to the parking lot, to check if Cole was still around. By sheer luck, she caught him just as he was opening the door to the driver’s seat.

“Cole!”

He turned around, startled. She sprinted to his car, which was on the far end of the parking lot. She hadn’t run for a long time, and soon her legs and lungs were on fire. But she couldn’t stop. Somehow, her body was pushing her forward, propelling her to the only person that mattered right now.

But what was she supposed to say? Now, as she stood in front of him, out of breath, all coherent thought abandoned her.

“I, um…” She put her hand to her chest to control her breathing.

“Lils.” His eyes were wide as he took her in. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, just… give me a sec… one moment…”

Cole was caught between looking amused and worried. Wordlessly, he took out a water bottle from his car and offered it to her. She shook her head.

Lili straightened up after a while. “Sorry. Were you leaving?”

He shook his head. “I was just grabbing something out of the car.”

“Oh. Right.” She looked him in the eye, and she was suddenly nervous. “Um. Are you still exploring the abandoned asylum tomorrow?

He looked surprised. “Yeah, I am.”

“Is anyone else going with you?”

Cole smirked. “Nah, I think it’s just me and the ghouls tomorrow. Why’d you ask?”

“Just… I would love to come.” She said it tentatively, worried that things had changed since their scene earlier. “Does my invitation still stand?”

Cole looked surprised at that. “Yeah, of course.” She breathed a sigh of relief. They were fine. Thank god. “But… Lils, I thought you were scared?”

“No,” she replied, smiling. “I’m not scared. Not anymore.”

…

Riverview Hospital in Coquitlam was a sprawling expanse of old, decrepit buildings that extended over a wide acreage of land. It had served many purposes since its inception as The Hospital of the Mind, but had been largely abandoned since the mid-1990s, and was mostly used as a filming location.

Many of the Riverdale crew had already worked there at one point or another, and all of them agreed: while it looked beautiful on film, it was definitely haunted, and none of them liked going anywhere near it.

“Place gives me the creeps,” said one of the lighting guys to Cole as he assembled his camera. “I have no idea why you two are so crazy about going in there. It’s dripping with ghosts.”

But nothing could dissuade Cole, and Lili had her heart set on following him. So as the crew set up the shoot, they went poking about the place, looking for an entrance. Cole was accustomed to urban exploring, while Lili was not, so he ran on ahead of her, rattling various doors and looking for windows they could climb through. Finally, he found one, and Lili felt a rush of affection for him as he poked his head from behind a loose door, his face spread widely into a grin, his hair dishevelled with bits of debris in it.

The entrance he found had a slightly precarious drop, as most of the staircases had crumbled away over time. As Cole took Lili’s hand to help her step in, he said quietly, “You know, there’s like a billion spiders in here.”

Lili yanked her hand away and smacked him on the arm. “Fuck off. I’m out. Seriously, Sprouse. I’m done.”

“Jesus. I was kidding.” Cole’s laugh echoed throughout the empty room. “Anyway, I thought you weren’t scared.”

“Cole, you know I hate spiders.”

“Alright, I’m sorry.” He smiled at her, and she cursed him silently for that smile - that perfect, heartbreaker’s smile that made everything immaterial in its wake. “Shall we?”

Together, they stepped into the room and were hit by the decades-old funk of pent-up dust and refuse and god knows what else. She knew she should have been scared, but somehow she only felt a heavy sort of sadness for what had transpired in the place - this was a mental hospital, after all. Cole seemed to feel it, too, as he suddenly turned quiet and pensive. He lifted his camera and started shooting as they delved further into the building.

They walked through the hospital, exploring long hallways and empty rooms. Cole shot some beautiful images, which he showed her.

“These are brilliant, Cole.”

“You think?” He examined one that he had taken of her standing in a doorway. “Ah. I can do better than that.”

“You’re too hard on yourself.” She gave his arm a reassuring squeeze. “Honestly, these are beautiful. As always.”

Cole shrugged to himself, and she followed at a short distance behind him as he kept shooting away.

Now or never. She took a deep breath. “Cole?”

“Mmm?”  

“We, um… we never got to talk about our scene yesterday. The kiss.”

He lowered the camera, turning to look around at her. “What about it?”

“Well, for starters, that wasn’t how we rehearsed it.”

He raised an eyebrow at her, half-smiling. “Well, at one point we were rehearsing it on your couch, with you straddling my lap. So, yeah,” he laughed, “definitely not how we rehearsed it.”

She reddened and smiled at the memory. “You know what I mean. It was off-script. I had to cue you in twice, remember? I mean, it was definitely beautiful, and Roberto obviously loved it...” She crossed her arms. “But why? Why’d you play it differently?”

“I don’t know, I just...” He sighed and looked down. “It felt right, you know? It came out of what I was feeling at that exact, precise moment.”

“Which was…?”

“A whole fucking lot.” He laughed nervously while running his hands through his hair. “I mean, Jughead’s never kissed Betty, right? But you and me, we’ve kissed. We’ve done more than kiss. So, going into the scene, Steven and I were talking, and I realised that I had to access some part of myself that was in the same nervous, anxious place that Jug was at during that point.”

“And what place was that?”

“Can I be honest?” Lili nodded, encouraging him to go on. “It’s this.”

“What, me and you?”

“It is, but it’s more than that.” He scratched his cheek, frowning. “Look, the way I see it, shooting that scene was like a metaphor.”

That wasn’t what she was expecting. “A metaphor?”

“Yeah. For us. And for Riverdale.” He sighed. “There’s me and you, and that’s obviously surreal and incredible. But there’s also everything else - all the pressures of a schedule, the artifice of the set, the scrutiny of everyone around us. You know what I mean? All the noise.”

Lili nodded. Of course she knew what he meant. It was the same thing she’d brooded over on the steps of the Cooper house stage.

Cole went on. “I guess I was just hyper-aware of all of that heading in. The noise became a distraction, and suddenly what was supposed to be a fun scene where I got to kiss this gorgeous girl that I really liked turned into this overwhelming commotion.”

Despite the gravity of their conversation, Lili had to look down to suppress a smile. He called me gorgeous. It never got old.

“That’s why I hesitated, why you had to cue me in twice. I was just caught up in my own head.” He looked at her, his eyes filled with a soft tenderness. “But your voice called me out of that, Lili. When you cued me in the second time, it was... like air. Like breath. And suddenly there was this clarity amidst all the doubt and fear that was clouding my mind.”

Fear. There it was again, that word, lurking over them like a watchful spirit, waiting to see who’d slip up first. The truth, which she had guessed correctly in those tentative seconds after their lips parted, was that they were both scared. They were both calculating the risk, aware that with each day that they found themselves in each other’s arms again, the stakes were being raised, and the questions were stacking up. Is this worth it? Will this stick? Will it stay?

And she was done with it.

Today, she had the answer to silence all her questions. Here, of all places, where fear lived, she was banishing hers.

She took a step towards him, closing the gap between them. “Cole, I need you to listen to everything I have to say without stopping me. Okay? Because if you stop me, I don't know if I can say it all.”

He nodded, and they were both silent. Lili brought her hand up to touch his chest, to feel his heart beating in the palm of her hand. It was strange to see him so still. Cole was always in motion, always talking, always on the move. His heartbeat - steady, constant and faithful - was a reminder of that. But right now, she needed him to stay put.

“When you first told me how you felt about me, back in LA, I was afraid. I was scared of my own feelings, afraid of how much I felt for you, and terrified of where that would take me.”

Cole nodded, keeping his eyes fixed on her.

“But I shouldn’t have been, because every day with you since then has been an adventure. You’ve made me laugh. You’ve given me the craziest stories to tell. You’ve taken me to some of the most beautiful places I have ever seen.” She looked around them. “Except this. Honestly, this place is a mess, Cole.”

He laughed at that, and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer.

“A few days ago, I was afraid again, for all the same reasons that you were afraid. Because suddenly everything became real, right?” Cole nodded. “Yesterday’s kiss wasn’t just an onscreen kiss with some random guy. It was a kiss with you. And yes, we were professionals about it, and the scene turned out amazing, but still - the fear was there because I didn’t want any of that noise to get to us.”

She exhaled and looked up at him. “But the noise is always going to be there, right? If it’s not Riverdale, it’ll be something else. And so it’s pointless to be afraid, to run scared. Otherwise, we’d be running this whole time.

“I don’t have all the answers to my questions. And I can’t say that I’ve resolved everything in my mind and that everything will be fine. But... I’m okay with that now. Because being with you has only made me bolder, Cole. It’s given me more courage to be myself, to pursue my passions, to dream bigger dreams. And if I follow where that leads - where my heart leads - I know that it won’t lead me astray. Because it will only lead me to you.”

Lili was tempted to tuck her face into his chest, to look anywhere but into his eyes. But she forced herself to keep her gaze on him - two pools of black, ringed by ocean blue.

“I love you, Cole.” She spoke it in one, swift sentence, and paused as she felt his breath hitch against his ribs. “I think I have for a while now.”

Silence. She could feel the weight of it filling the room to the brim, light driving out darkness.

“This isn’t a bribe, or an ultimatum, or a bargain. You don’t need to say it back. I just…” She shrugged helplessly. “It can’t be helped, and it can’t be kept in. I wanted you to know. You deserve to know.

“So there. I love you. Out of this uncertain but hopeful heart... I love you.”

“Lili? Cole?”

Voices in the distance. They were due back for the scene. The moment was gone, the bubble had burst. Lili was a little disheartened, but grateful that she was able to express herself to him. Maybe it was best this way - to leave their little secret whispered into the walls of the asylum, never to be uncovered.

Except Cole had other plans.

He seized her hand, and before she could ask him what he was doing, they were sprinting down the hallway and further into the building, past rooms she had never seen, past crumbling walls of plaster, eerie chambers that echoed their racing footsteps, broken windows and splintered doors and emptied ceilings.

Finally, they came to a stop in the middle of a large, light-filled room. He turned to her, panting from the run, his ocean blue eyes raging with a passionate storm.

“Lili.” There was something about the way he whispered her name, between ragged breaths, that stirred something deep and urgent in her.

Who started what, they couldn’t tell. But it was Lili who pulled him in by his shirt and Cole who pushed her up against the wall, one hand leaning for support, another flush against the skin on the small of her back. When their lips crashed in the middle, it was anything but tentative or tenuous. It was bold and bruising, frenzied and desperate. It was driven by a need that was both body and soul.

He brought his hands up to hold her face, and she felt him shaking. It startled her. She pulled back and he looked down at her in protest at the lack of contact. She took his hands in her own and brought his palms to her lips, soothing and calming him, wanting to say that it was okay, that this was where fear ended, that she loved him, she loved him, she loved him.

She tilted her head up, closing her eyes, wanting to kiss him again, but she was met with nothing. She glanced up at him.

“What?”

“However long you’ve know,” he said, his voice barely a whisper, “double it. Triple it.”

She stared at him. “Cole, what are you --”

“One day, I promise, I will make it up to you, for not saying it when I knew. For not being as fearless as you are.” He paused to take her in. “Because I love you, Lili Reinhart. I love you with every fucking thing I’ve got.”

His words crashed into her like a wave, pulling her under the current. This time, she was shaking. And crying.

Their small, tear-soaked kisses would gradually deepen into a longer, more searing one, and they stayed that way for a while - oblivious to time, unheeding of the space they were in. Until it felt like there was nothing left to give. Until they had filled themselves with each other. Until the same voices from earlier echoed in the distance, calling their names, calling them back to reality.

They looked at each other. “Well,” he said, “what now?”

She smiled at him. “I suppose we have to go and film.” She kissed the tip of his nose, and he wrinkled it at her. “After that? I don’t know. We’ll see.”

He smiled back at her, and he took her hand, interlacing his fingers with hers.

As they walked back out, passing through the hallways of the abandoned asylum, she felt giddy like a teenager, wanting to etch their names into the walls. Maybe not their initials - too juvenile. But she understood the need: she wanted to mark this place as it marked them.

But what would she write?

Here lies fear, she thought. Here it lies, conquered by love.

…

“So, remind me again why we’re still awake at 3 am.”

Their room at the Queen Anne Hotel was darkened save for a small, antique lamp beside their bed, which illuminated Cole’s bare form next to her. He turned to face her, and as he moved, most of him became obscured by the shadows. But it didn’t matter. Lili had already memorised his face. In some ways, she knew it better than her own.

“Well,” Cole started, “besides the fact that someone wanted toast and eggs at 1 in the morning—”

“Which someone else also enjoyed, leaving me with only HALF of said toast and eggs.”

“True. But yes, besides that fact...” She could sense him smirking in the darkness. “Do I really need to provide a blow-by-blow account of what happened here?”

Lili rolled her eyes. “No, because you’re only going to be gross about it and I don’t want you to ruin my night.”

“Fine then, be boring,” he said. “But to actually answer your question - don’t you remember what I said yesterday? About the witching hour?”

Lili slid under his arm and closed her eyes as she settled her head against his hard, muscled shoulder. “No. Remind me.”

“You never listen to my stories,” he whined.

“Yes, I do. But the witching hour doesn’t sound like something I want to remember while trying to sleep in a notoriously haunted room.”

“Ha. Fair point.” He cleared his throat dramatically. “Okay, Lili, picture it. Prague, 2014. The days were glorious, and the dig was on—”

“And as much as I love a Golden Girls reference, I’m about to fall asleep and you’re about to lose me here.”

“Alright, geez.” He sat up, and forced her to sit up with him. She groaned, but complied. “So a guy I was working with on this archaeological dig in Prague, he’s from Ireland, right? Comes from an extremely superstitious family, whereas he was a little more enlightened. Anyway, on our last night in the lab, we’re both up until 3 in the morning bagging rocks--”

“Sounds like a real rock star lifestyle you had there.”

Cole paused. “Did you just… with that rock pun…? You know what, I’m gonna store that in the back of my mind and comment on its magnificence later. So we’re up at 3, in this dark, dank little lab, and he freaks out a little looking at the time. I asked him if he was okay, and he says to me--”

“Oh my god. Are you about to attempt an Irish accent? Please say yes.”

“Lili, no.” She giggled. “He says to me, ‘Sorry, man. I just get a little creeped out around this time - the witching hour, you see. My ma always went on about it. Kinda hard to get rid of the habit.’”

Lili yawned, but she was intrigued. “So what was it?”

“Apparently, the witching hour - between 3 and 4 am - was usually the most active time for witches, spirits and demons. Something to do with the absence of canonical prayers at that time. But I looked it up afterwards, and it’s a real thing - people swear by it. They say that most ghost sightings happen around that time.”

Lili could have slugged him. “So... you’re telling me... that you’re keeping me up at this ungodly hour... to see if we could sight a ghost?”

Cole smiled sheepishly. “You were up anyway…?”

“Cole!” She was freaking out now. “This isn’t funny!”

“It’s not meant to be!”

They were half arguing, half giggling themselves silly. Lili dove underneath the covers, and Cole followed her in, tickling her mercilessly as she tried to wriggle out of his grasp.

A loud thump from the other side of the wall terrified them, and they both froze. A series of mumbled swear words from another disgruntled guest put them at ease. Not a ghost. Lili sighed in relief.

“Surrender?” Cole asked.

“Surrender,” she conceded.

They lay back down on the bed, still breathless from laughing. He turned to her, and took her hand in his, holding it against his chest.

“Hey. I love you,” he breathed out. “You know that, right?”

Lili turned to look back at him, and smiled. A year of this, and still it gave her a small thrill. What is it about us and saying ‘I love you’ in haunted places? To anyone else, it would have seemed bizarre. But to her, it made perfect sense. Because when they first met, Cole had been nothing more than an apparition that haunted her dreams - a vague half-entity that she knew so little of, that held no form other than the jacket he left her with.

But as time went on, the apparition put on flesh, and he became more real with each memory they created, each adventure they embarked on, each kiss that they shared. And then it wasn’t him that haunted her, but the fear of the uncertain, which they banished with finality at the abandoned asylum.

And now, here they were, in another haunted spot, celebrating a milestone while waiting for actual ghosts. We are the weirdest, she thought. And I love us.

“Lili?”

She snapped out of her thoughts and turned to him. She brought her hand up to caress his face, marvelling that this was real - that it felt real to her beyond what her fingers could touch. That she could feel it in her lungs and in her heart and in her bones.

“Yeah, I know, Cole,” she finally replied. “I love you, too.”

He turned over so that he was looking down at her, then kissed her bare shoulder. “So you staying up with me for witching hour? Could be interesting, right?”

Lili chuckled. “I thought you said you didn’t believe in that shit.”

“I don’t,” he said. “But I’m a skeptic willing to be proven wrong. Just don’t tell Dylan.”

She laughed and nodded and pulled him down for a firm kiss. Why the hell not. “Sure,” she replied.

They snuggled underneath the covers, Cole rattling off anecdotes at random, Lili listening, willing herself to stay awake. Not to witness the supernatural, but to experience the tangible. To experience Cole.

Let the ghosts come, she thought, as he put his arms around her.

She had nothing left to fear.

[sarangkris]

*longest yeah boiiii ever* bring me that d/s chensoo!!! -subbyjd anon

MY DEAR SUBBY JD ANON THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE AND THESE ASKS ILU HERE IT IS I’M SORRY IT’S NOT AS MUCH AS IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN WITH HOW LONG YOU HAD TO WAIT BUT! at long last, your d/s chensoo

*disclaimer just in case anyone needs it: everything they do is pre-agreed on. kyungsoo “getting angry” isn’t really anger; jongdae “getting him mad” is his way of showing kyungsoo how intense he wants the scene to be, and even though they talk about it beforehand, it’s much more fun when there’s an actual basis to the punishment ;3

anyway~

like i said in this post, jongdae would be an absolute little shit of a sub, and this is especially true with chensoo. don’t let him being a sub fool you- he knows exactly what he’s doing and kyungsoo more often then not plays right into his needy little hands.

jongdae knows exactly which of kyungsoo’s buttons to push to get the best and quickest reactions out of him, and he slowly presses a delicate finger to every single one of them while looking soo dead in the eye with that coy little pout he has. he’d be an absolute tease, but of course kyungsoo knows exactly what he’s doing and will make jongdae pay for it (which is what dae wanted the whole time)

jongdae would love the takedown- fast and dirty with a struggle once kyungsoo finally lets him have it, and before he knows it he’ll be all tied up with kyungsoo at his back yanking the knots just to make them bite. he’s a wiggler, so soo would tie him up tight- legs, arms, chest, hips all bound up in pretty red ropes and tied to whatever they have (bed posts, chair, table) until he can barely move and shove a gag in his mouth before jongdae even gets the chance to get loud (but of course, somehow he manages to do it anyway)

even though he’s a little shit, he can be good when he wants to be, and on top of that, kyungsoo has this fucking tone he uses that makes jongdae obey before he even has time to think about it. just one word can have subdae dropping to his knees at kyungsoo’s feet

he’d be a needy sub who loves the attention soo gives him and hates being ignored. he knows how incredible his ass is and demands that it’s given the attention it deserves, and kyungsoo is more than happy to spank it raw and press bruises into it with his fingers

he knows how much ksoo loves it too and isn’t afraid to wave it in front of his face to entice him in front of other people or alone- not that he needs to, but it’s a lot more fun to play innocent as kyungsoo’s eyes go dark and his knuckles go white when he tries to keep it together. they’d have a million different plugs in all kinds of shapes, designs, functions, and colors for every occasion (including occasions where jongdae has to try not to blow his load in public), so his ass definitely gets plenty of attention

(like idk i have this image in my head of jongdae being extra cheeky one day and kyungsoo punishing him by tying him to the four corners of the bed with an intricate chest harness connected to the infuriatingly placed vibrating plug that’s just barely missing the right spot as kyungsoo straddles him and gets himself off right above him)

group parties are not out of the question. jongdae loves being watched and praised by as many people as possible and loves to show kyungsoo that he can be good with them there. others can attend, but kyungsoo is the one calling the shots

(and also maybe baek would be a frequent second sub of ksoo’s who would get jongdae in to all kinds of extra trouble. they wold be a nightmare together, but the punishment would be so so good)

BUT ANYWAY. jongdae would love being manhandled and reminded just how strong kyungsoo is, whether it be folding him in half or through the crack of a cat of nine tails. when jongdae wants it rough, he wants it rough, and kyungsoo is more than capable of delivering. he loves having marks that last for days and hurt long after the scene is over to remind him of what they did

because of this, the aftercare would be so so so sweet though. kyungsoo is nothing if not a caring and loving dom who would wipe jongdae’s tears away and give him long slow massages to make sure that jongdae knows everything is okay- kyungsoo’s got him and will take care of him. lots of cuddling and kissing and gently whispered reassurances. kyungsoo would make sure that everything was healed up nicely before they went at it again and do soft mushy caring scenes with lots of gentle touches and praises in between. jongdae loves being told how pretty he is- how good he is and how much kyungsoo loves him, and kyungsoo is happy to oblige. he’d kiss him everywhere and worship jongdae’s body like the masterpiece it is

[smolbeandrabbles]

Just Another Thing - Phil Beckman x Reader (Knowing)

This Kiss

GIF Credit: X

Author’s Note: “HOLD ON!!” I hear you splutter “SHE FINALLY WROTE THAT SEQUEL TO THIS KISS SHE PROMISED US BACK WHEN SHE WROTE IT IN JUNE!?” Yes. Yes I did! 😏 What can I say. I missed this man.

Also I watched it the other day, and therefore have thrown MIT in as liberally as possible-!  Disclaimer: Knowing Characters not mine / lyrics not mine / gifs not mine - see credit. It’s about the only set on this website 😉

Premise: As expected, you’re unable to concentrate in your lecture. And Phil is justly rewarded for his curiosity. But your affair has bigger things to worry about than that right now, and make no mistake, Phil Beckman wont stand for it... 

Words: 4404

Warnings: May-December Romance / Student/Teacher Relationship  / swearing / sexual connotations & pre-amble

____ I ought to know better but you know that never stopped me before Yeah, my wheels just have a way of spinning, always ending back at your door So add your name to the list Of all the things I can't seem to kick Just like smoking, just like drinking, I'm a fool for ever thinking I'm done Yeah, I always break that promise, if I'm honest it ain't ever just one Or two, when I'm running into you I'm right back on that road, pushing that first domino Yeah you're just another kiss, another Friday night I shouldn't be wasting Just another "what you doing later on?" I shouldn't be saying I got my excuses, no I don't know why I do it You're just another, just another thing I shouldn't be doing --- At least you were correct on one thing. You couldn’t successfully sit through two hours of John Koestler without getting distracted, or clock watching. All you could think of was the way Phil had pulled back from you curiously with his hands under your dress wanting to know what you were wearing. He was less than two hours away from finding out at all points of this lecture. But you didn’t think one had ever gone so slowly. John was always interesting, and you were mostly attentive of what he said because he had a habit of giving his tutees pop quizzes any time they went to 1:1s or had questions, just to make sure you’d been paying attention to at least the rest of his lecture. You knew you were likely to fail the next one. Maybe you could get Phil to bail you out of that-! Even your friends all knew you were distracted, but would never have guessed the reason in a million years. Sometimes you’d heard your friends talk about how stunning lecturers were – or some of the lab technicians – and Phil was, on occasion, the hot topic. But you never took any bait offered to you. Besides, they were right, he was hot and deserved to be the only one you ever talked about, and you had all the facts. But, you instead opted to spend your college time as far from single as you could get. It not like you were ever meant to get involved with Phil, after all. Your problem was, what had started off as a good romance – perhaps even something promising, was now a break-up-make-up-break-up nightmare. And you weren’t sure who was keeping who and for what reason. Probably good cover for any time you’d been with Phil and had to walk into a classroom right afterwards looking flushed with a bruise in a risqué place. So long as they think that’s what was distracting you, you weren’t going to say otherwise. None of them were going to assume it was John, and you’d for sure set them straight on that one immediately. The bell wasn’t even merciful on you, observing that your note page was practically blank as you collected your things and slung your bag back over your shoulder - Yeah, there was no way you were remembering a minute of this class. You exited with your friends, itching to spring across the campus into Phil’s office and subsequently his arms. However, Ethan was waiting for you outside the building. Oh… shit… You sighed softly, the girls nudging you with giggles. He was tall and conventionally attractive. On the football team – but not the quarterback, which was fine with you. “Hey-!” He dipped his frame to kiss your cheek, surveying what you were wearing with as much interest as any other boy on campus was. You nearly huffed; still not for you! “Girls-!” He gave your friends a soft wink as they left you to it. “Hi!” “How was your day?” “It’s gone pretty good yeah-!” If he’d let you get on it’d be better, “Yours?” “Better now.” He gave a grin, “Hey, babe, I was thinking we could go out and grab dinner… movie at my place?” “Oh.” This was where problems always started – nothing he’d suggested was bad, if it was a usual night. But not right now… “I have a 1:1 now, and then I was gonna study.” “We can study together?” He immediately suggested, and then pressed; “Who is your 1:1 with? I can wait.” “Well it’s not like I know how long it’s gonna be…” “Who is it with?” Ethan demanded; eyes narrowed. “Phil Beckman.” You were a little uneasy about that, why was he interested? “Oh. He’s your favourite, right?” And jealous. And right now made you wish you’d never mentioned Phil at all, once, ever. “He’s a good teacher…” “Skip it – say you forgot-!” “What!? No, I need to go ask him about this it’s important--!” Please don’t make this hard… “Just send him an email-! How hard is that-!?” “Ethan.” You sighed, “Please. I need to see him.” “Why?!” Well you weren’t gonna give him a straight answer, “This work is due. Tomorrow, babe, I promise.” “Fine.” But it was obvious he wasn’t happy. “Fine-!” He therefore didn’t say goodbye and turned to walk back to his car, kicking leaves and stones as he went. You raised an eyebrow and rolled your eyes; this is exactly why you spent your relationship efforts on a man. There was no way in hell you’d ever think Phil would behave like this. You brushed it off and turned back in the direction you wanted to head – you had way more important things to worry about now. *** Phil opened his office door with a smirk, leaning against the door frame with his arm up – like for a second he wasn’t about to let you in. But the way he looked at you made your mood instantly brighten. He took a half step forward, twisting his body to see if anyone else was around. You both knew how to keep it quiet if people were in the offices either side of his, but if no one was at least you could be a little more vocal. He stepped in to let you past, and you noticed his blinds were already all closed – that allowed you to bite your lip a little harder. “How was the lecture?” “Terrible...” “Oh! Really?! John’s lectures are supposed to be riveting!” You let him round you, so that your back was now to his wall, covered with an intricate array of star charts and planetary information. And other pieces he was working on for papers. You’d asked him about nearly all of them and at this point could probably recite them, or do his research, yourself; but heck – you’d been in here enough. “Well yeah, but I wasn’t really listening. I was thinking about you...” “Oh?” Phil took the step forward that made you concede one, pressing your back up against the wall. “Oh? Mr.Beckman, don’t pretend you don’t know that…” “Mr.Beckman?” He questioned with a playful smile, “Good think I’ve been sitting thinking about you this past 30 minutes…” Phil’s smirk was as equally delicious as he was, “…You are quite the distraction…” You bit your lip again, this time far more seductively, “Speak for yourself.” He placed his hands above your head, pulling in his forearms and also pressing them to the wall – his lips touched yours – and your hands were on him before he could do anything about it. You wanted that overshirt off, you wanted his shirt off, you wanted him to hoist you up against this wall and you wanted your dress on the floor… you wanted marks all over you. You needed him to make you his once more. His lips moved from your mouth to your neck, following the trail of your pulse – your nails raking up his back and through his hair. The day was over; Phil would let you mess it up now. You found yourself staring at the ceiling for a few blissful moments and almost giggled – Phil had once spent a great deal of time sticking stars up there in constellation forms; because once you’d make the mistake of telling him that climaxing with him was like shooting to the stars. He’d laughed, considering his profession, and the next thing you knew he’d stuck the plastic shapes to the ceiling and declared ‘Now you can be with them. Among them-!’ He pulled away with a slight growl to his voice. Your heart leapt – you always wanted to hear that. Phil with that tone thrilled you, it always happened when he was turned on. “Your dresses drive me insane. Stop wearing them in class. It’s not going to end well and I’m going to get suspended, is that what you want?” His lips grazed yours again as he brought his hands down to your hips. You sighed – wanting them under your dress again. No, of course you didn’t want him to get suspended… But Phil knew you wore them for him – and you were fairly certain he didn’t really want you to stop. The dress didn’t really matter, all it was doing was hiding everything else; what he actually deserved. “It’s not even the dress...” You breathed, watching his gorgeous blue eyes darken further by the second “…What I want most is it on the floor…” He tipped his head; bringing his hands to the buttons – remembering the feeling of lace under his fingertips. This had to be good. Phil’s fingers worked quickly through them as his kisses became rougher – but his choices of where to place them, almost with pinpoint precision, was where he knew would make you moan the loudest. Phil responded to that by grinding his hips into yours, and this time you moaned his name. It wasn’t fair that this man felt so right. That it could feel quite this good to be with him. He pushed the unbuttoned dress over your shoulders and it felt to the floor. Phil took a step back, biting his lip a little at the marks he knew were going to be left along your collarbone. Hardly caring, because not only would you be unconcerned, but he’d probably end up with his own collection before he left this evening. But ever since this had started, you liked buying different lingerie, literally for the sole purpose of him taking it off. You always noted styles, colours and fabrics that Phil liked best. Lace being one of them. Phil was classic – he liked black, red and pink lace and satin… and eccentric patterns. But also anything he deemed unusual – you’d worn lime green once as a joke and he’d been pretty impressed. Phil growled again, this time a little louder; “…Black Lace…?” He ran his fingertips under your panties and you gasped again, “…For me?” He chuckled, sliding them down your legs as he kissed you once more; “Oh, darling, you needn’t have…” ***  Every so often you’d go a week or so without being lectured by him – either because his classes had labs conducted by someone else, or because you had home study time rather than having to attend class. You saw him around but you both knew better than to see too much of each other. Whatever illusion you were trying to keep up. But every time you caught a glimpse of him whilst heading to another tutorial, or passing in corridors in lectures and you got to smile and say ‘Hi!’ was certainly the highlight of your day. You also both got to laugh privately at the outfits you wore when you didn’t have to see each other. Of course, you were still in summer dresses but they were a little more modest, or you wore leggings under them, and he rarely wore his black jacket; opting instead for ringer-tees and looser fitting clothing, occasionally with slogans on. And you hated to tell him that he probably didn’t look as cool as he thought he did. Which reminded you that you still hadn’t told him how hot he looked in that black number. Phil was at least glad that it gave both of you the opportunity to work – or focus on work. But that didn’t mean he didn’t think about you, and often. And it wasn’t like he didn’t look up your class schedule and make sure that wherever he was walking might coincide with your exit from lectures. Today however, he was walking across the MIT grounds with John – talking about each other current set of research papers – he was sipping good coffee and so absorbed in the science of everything that even though he missed you, you were the furthest thing from his mind. Even when John started to make jokes about Phil getting a girlfriend. “Nah-! Man. Nah-! That’s not… I’m good!” He laughed, “I’m perfectly fine-!” As they kept walking, they realised that many of the students were weaving out of the way of something going down in the middle of the campus. And as they approached, they realised that shouting was quickly turning to screaming. They both stopped dead. Your friends were standing over to one side looking like they might rather be anywhere else, the other students were dispersing and heading to their own classes as quickly as possible; except from those curious enough to slow their walks down to watch the entertainment. Of course, the ‘entertainment’ was you and Ethan. Having a fall out in the middle of campus was not an ideal situation, but this shouldn’t have surprised you. And this argument was just about as vicious as usual – both of you throwing words you’d end up pretending you didn’t mean. Phil’s eyebrows furrowed; he didn’t like this for obvious reasons. But he wasn’t sure he could get involved either. John just shook his head; “AH, yeah. I can understand why you wouldn’t…” “Shit, we surly can’t allow them to scream at each other in the middle of campus-?” “I dunno. Twenty somethings…? You ever seen these two go at it before? It happens all the time. They’ll just make up in a few hours.” Phil narrowed his eyes, disliking that even more; “You think smart girls wouldn’t get involved in something like that!” John raised an eyebrow at his friend; “Oh, the whiles of being young!” Phil scoffed, running a hand through his hair – “I still think we should stop this.” He ground his teeth together nearly full on glaring at Ethan. Justified, because then it started getting physical – and the second Ethan put his hands on you Phil wasn’t looking for John’s permission. You pulled away but he grabbed you again – and this kept happening; Ethan continued to drag you back as you pulled away from him, and with both of you still yelling at each other this wasn’t about to end well at all. “HEY!” He pushed his coffee into John’s chest and started across the grass. Not my girl! “Phil-! Hey- Phil-!” John’s protests were ignored “HEY-! HEY-! LET HER GO!” As Ethan’s grip only seemed to tighten on you Phil was seeing red; How fucking dare he!! Funnily enough that looked to be near enough what you were saying – and you didn’t even notice Phil until he was practically next to you. “MAN! I SAID LET HER GO!” “She’s my girlfriend-! I’ll do what I like.” Phil almost did a double-take. Ethan! You are walking a thin line! Then took a deep breath and pushed between the two of you. You reeled, rubbing your wrist, but also hardly believing this was about to happen. “She’s not YOURS!!!” Phil’s arm was out, and you knew he was essentially protecting you. He was shorter than Ethan but older; and right now, fierce. But that rung in your ears ‘she’s not yours!’ Oh…Phil… He seemed to realise what he’d said too; “Y/N is NOT a possession!” He took a breath, and stilled his anger – this boy was still a student after all “…No girl is.” His eyes flicked back to see if you were alright, but you were nearly in a world of your own. Did he… did he feel the same thing for you as you did for him? What was he thinking? That was dangerous���! Ethan scoffed, “Yeah, whatever man.” “Ethan.” Phil tipped his head, “I know I might not lecture you, but I know the people who do. And more importantly, I know the coach. You really think he’s gonna wanna hear about this?” Phil turned again, seeing the marks on your arm – and suddenly having a pretty good idea that the bruises on you weren’t always from him. “…Or see pretty hard evidence…” His swivel back was measured, if Ethan wasn’t careful Phil was going to deck him. Luckily, Phil had got a pretty good handle of the situation, and Ethan swallowed hard – stepping back. His body was still between you and him, but Ethan had to take one last jab; “Now you need some teacher defending you-!? You’re just fucking lucky-!” He shouldered his bag and stalked off, leaving Phil to yell after him again. “COOL IT-!” Once Ethan was across the other end of the field, he turned back to you voice immediately alarmed; “You alright-!?” “Yeah…” You straightened your dress of choice today and neatened your hair – “It happens often, I’m used to it.” “And you’re still with the guy-!?” “Phil.” You sighed gently, “It’s… this isn’t the place or time…” you bit your lip, “Please…” “Don’t ask me not to make a scene after that-! Are you sure you’ll be okay!?” You nodded up to your friends still standing awkwardly off to one side “…Yeah…” He followed your eyeline and had to concede that. “Okay. Just take care... Be careful.” You couldn’t help your smile at the concern filling his eyes, and extending to the rest of his features, he was leaned in, his back bent to get closer to you. Still fairly protective.  If you were alone you knew you’d have reached out to hold him, to kiss him in thanks. Heck – it was hard to not to do so right now. “I will. I promise…” You took a few steps back; “Thank you…” “You’re welcome.” Then he grinned, “Anytime.” And you knew he meant it. Phil watched you nod, then turn to go back to your friends, who were all ready to welcome you with open arms. “Y/N!” he couldn’t resist making you look back at him; he missed you this close. “If it happens again – my door is always open. I’ll follow through. I promise.” You almost blushed; “Thank you… Mr.Beckman… I’ll keep that in mind.” ***  Phil didn’t really think he needed to worry about you – you didn’t come and see him, and you didn’t email him either. Things hadn’t quite graduated to having each other’s numbers, although if you ever asked him, he knew he’d give it up in a heartbeat. You were grown up yourself now, a young adult, you didn’t need him to hover around you like a parent – which would have obviously been completely the wrong word. You could take care of yourself, Phil knew that too. He’d rather you come to him if you really needed him. Today he was immersing himself in some practical work with the other scientists and thoroughly enjoying not having to deal with students for once. He didn’t have papers to mark and – away from his desk – no emails to answer from people who clearly hadn’t been listening in lectures. Sometimes he rolled his eyes and thought about sending them over to you, but never did. If only they had her intuition-! Also, Phil was sometimes selfish with his time and wanted to give it to those who wanted to excel to the next level – he had plenty of final years wanting to do their PHDs and Doctorates, go into the field, and lecture themselves – or those that were genuinely struggling despite doing everything they could. Which caused him to sarcastically respond to some of the other students on Saturday nights when he got takeout and had nothing better to do. Today was also when you turned up again. It was a few minutes before he spotted you, immersed in measurements and brainstorming around machines and the gigantic telescope that MIT had installed here. But when he did spot you, Phil immediately became worried – you were crying. And that wasn’t what he wanted to see. He gently touched his colleague on the shoulder to excuse himself, to which she gave him a gentle smile – and ran across the lab to you. “Y/N-!” His voice was filled with the concern etched across his face, “Oh, sweetheart what’s wrong?” “I- He--- He--” I fucking warned him! - Phil had to be careful with the way he touched you here, “Oh…Oh God! Okay. Okay, sweetheart, come on… come on, lets go to my office… It’s gonna be okay, It’ll be okay…” By now the scientists Phil was working with had turned to see where he was running to and he held his hand up to excuse himself. But they thankfully seemed to understand, most were female, and he thought they’d probably appreciate where you were coming from. But maybe not why you’d go to him. At least he could explain the fight in the grounds, although he was sure that’d got around the campus by now. Phil led you up to his office, hand moving from hovering over your shoulder to your lower back, slamming the door shut – in anger at Ethan – he locked it. “What did he fucking do to you-!?” “No… No, Phil it’s… it’s not like that… he didn’t…” This was strange for you, this was a side to Phil Beckman you’d never even glimpsed before now – seeing you and Ethan fighting had really shaken him up, like suddenly it was a reality that you were technically ‘with’ someone else. And Phil didn’t like it one bit. “Don’t lie to me. Sweetheart, don’t lie to me. I promise, I will make him regret it – and if he comes for you again, he’s gonna wish he never fucking touched you.” He rubbed your arms, soothingly, forehead to yours; “Darling, what happened?” “You saw what he did to me when we were outside on campus. You think he’s any better when we’re together? He’s not exactly your biggest fan…” “Well that was obvious. Don’t tell me he took me out on you-!?” “He takes everything out on me.” You sighed, “And now especially you.” Phil narrowed his eyes; “He’s not good enough for you. You know that right?” “Phil-” “He’s certainly no good for you, and he doesn’t deserve you.” “Phil, please don’t-” “He’s hurting you. I don’t know if it’s because you think you need him so desperately as cover for this, but…” Phil shook his head, and you thought he was about to start welling up “I can’t watch him hurt you…” He pressed a delicate kiss to your forehead and then your lips, “Do you need to stay here a while, I’ll stay with you you know that…” His left hand moved to yours, as his right moved to your side, pulling you protectively to him. But you winced, and checking the position of his hands, Phil knew there was no way that Ethan was leaving bruises on you like that just pushing you around… And suddenly his cheeks were burning, and you could read that expression as well as anything. Phil was jealous - you could think of many reasons why. Ethan could show you off, could be with you outside and off and on campus. Ethan was your age. And then the one that was more obvious, your intimacy. You let his hand go and took his face in your hands, “Phil… Phil – I’m not. We didn’t…” You shook your head, “I’m here. I’m here with you. I’m not having sex with him.” You pressed your lips to his, hard, as if that would prove it. “…How can a man like you be jealous of someone like that?” He sighed; “Because of everything he gets to be with you…” But he returned your kisses, slow and loving. “How can someone like you be with a man like him?” “Maybe I’m not as smart as you think I am…” You ran your hands up his chest, and he didn’t stop you, gripping onto his overshirt. “Bullshit.” “You think I don’t get jealous too?” For a minute Phil wasn’t sure how to answer that, but then he chuckled, and very nearly smirked. If you cared enough to get jealous too. He didn’t have a girlfriend, that much was true – but he did have a lot of female colleagues. And you knew he was an all-around nice guy - Phil had a certain charm – and you were sure that you weren’t the only woman in the University enamoured with it. “It’s kinda cute when you’re jealous – that I would have to admit…” You gripped him tighter with a small pout, not exactly liking that, as he thought. Then Phil threw your phrasing right back at you; “It’s not like I’m having sex with them though, is it?” He wasn’t sure that sex was the right word; that made it neither here nor there. But Phil wasn’t sure which one it was – and he was afraid to call it either way. You let his overshirt go, running your hands beneath it; allowing your fingertips to splay over his heart – before leaning forward, pushing your forehead to his. He closed his eyes, allowing you to have that moment of calm to yourself. Before you moved to brush your lips to his – a sweeter kiss than usual – and he pulled you closer, holding you tighter. You ran your hands into his hair, and only tentatively pulled away. “Y/N…” He breathed your name, sending shivers over your skin – gorgeous blue eyes reopening – “As your lecturer I can only advise you on your work here, perhaps your career. I can perhaps implore you – if you came to me with something more personal. Off the record advice…” Phil took a breath, and he sounded hurt; possibly more because of his feelings for you than anything else, “…But as whatever we are. I would beg you to leave him, I would beg you so I don’t have to worry about you being hurt. You don’t deserve to have someone you love hurt you.” You blinked multiple times, hardly daring to believe the words coming out of his mouth. Not because of what was said, but because of the choice it presented you. One you weren’t sure you could afford to pass up. You looked between his eyes, hands gathering in the middle of his chest, you took a deep breath and swallowed - looking away, just to look back into his eyes with renewed confidence; “I don’t love him.” The silence was momentary – the urgency to reply was great, but in reading what you were really telling him you both needed that moment of gravitas. Phil found himself saying the words before he knew he was saying them. But upon doing so knew he’d desperately wanted to say them for a long time; “I love you too.”

---

Thank You For Reading! 😘

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“CoinLab Is a Big Stopping Block”: Mark Karpeles Talks Mt. Gox Creditor Claims and Life After Trial

This post was originally published here

Disclaimer: The interview was edited and condensed for publication

Mt. Gox crypto exchange is well remembered — but mostly for a bad reason. The year of 2011 marked the biggest heist in terms of the amount of crypto stolen, an eye-watering figure of 850,000 bitcoins (BTC), worth around $473 million at that time. Four years on and only 200,000 BTC of that were recovered.

Most creditors still don’t know if or when they will ultimately get their funds back. Apparently, we may not see a conclusion any time soon, as Mt. Gox.’s trustee continues its standoff against the United States-based company CoinLab in court.

Meanwhile, recent reports that Mark Karpeles is working for Japanese company Tristan Technologies as its chief technology officer have unsettled the community, with many believing that Karpeles is now back in the crypto game. To clarify these rumors and to find out the details regarding Mt. Gox settlements, Cointelegraph spoke with the man himself, Mark Karpeles.

Media reports and rumors

Alex Cohen: First of all, let’s talk about recent reports that claimed you recently joined a brand new blockchain firm, Tristan Tech, as a CTO. You then took to the press to clarify that those reports were not accurate. Can you clarify all of this, please?

Mark Karpeles: This is not particularly a new role; I have been doing this since 2016. Tristan Technologies is a very small company. We have probably, I think, four employees, with two engineers, including myself.

So, it’s a very small entity and we’re working toward creating IT services — but nothing blockchain-related at this point, at least.

There are different reasons for why I work here. One of the reasons was that, at the time, I didn’t really have a choice anyway, considering I was just out on bail. And as such, it was not easy to find a job.

Also, I think Tristan Technology is a company that is very interesting on one specific point, which is that the director of the company is also my lawyer, who dealt with the criminal case in Japan..

I have an opportunity to work on things that most IT companies cannot do, because either it’s too complex or it’s about things people don’t even know is possible.

AC: So, just to clarify, do you have any plans to work in or with crypto, or do something blockchain-related right now?

MK: Well, of course, there are probably things I can still do in crypto. But I don’t think it’s the right timing, right now. It will depend on how things evolve in the future.

In the meantime, it is important to express and share what I have seen during my years at Mt. Gox and after that, and there is a book I’ve published in Japan that contains a lot of explanation – like what happened at Mt. Gox, what the status of cryptocurrency is, what has been done so far, and what needs to be done as soon as possible to make sure that crypto evolves and become something for the future.

Overall, Karpeles has not ruled out returning to the crypto and blockchain industry at some point in the future, after overcoming the most pressing obstacles:

MK: I don’t know when, it will not depend on me alone. It will also depend on the industry itself. Right now, I still have one trial ongoing in Japan.

The original charges include embezzlement and breach of trust, for which I have been judged innocent. But there’s only one thing remaining, to which I’m appealing.

So, it’s going to take some time, I believe. But I’m going to fight until the end to prove my innocence on this.

Legal battles continue on all fronts

The original charges against Karpeles were filed in 2015 on the grounds of breach of trust and embezzlement. He was eventually found guilty of record tampering and handed a 2 ½-year suspended jail sentence, which he is now appealing.

AC: How long do you think it will take until we see a conclusion to all the court cases?

MK: There are different legal processes going on at the same time in different places in the world.

I believe it’s going to be years until everything Mt. Gox clears out of the courts — maybe more, so it could be even 10 years, I don’t know. But I believe the thing most people are waiting for right now, really, is a bankruptcy itself. If we can just find a solution for creditors, I believe it would be much better for people than just waiting forever.

Actual progress right now depends on one specific creditor, which is a company called CoinLab. They are a firm that Mt. Gox at one point tried to work with to handle customers in the U.S. because of regulations. It was not really possible to do from Japan.

Read more on this: A Guilty Verdict, Impatient Creditors and a Resurrecting Movement: Mt. Gox Saga Continues

As it turned out, CoinLab didn’t get the right licencing, and they didn’t do things that were expected of them, so the agreement couldn’t move forward and CoinLab tried to sue Mt. Gox. We countersued CoinLab in the U.S.

In the meantime, Mt. Gox went into bankruptcy, so the lawsuit became a claim. So earlier, CoinLab filed a claim with Mt. Gox. But, with the recent petitions, they had a new $16 billion claim, which is completely preventing everything moving forward.

AC: During and after your trial, several media outlets reported that you have vast wealth stored in crypto. Is that true?

MK: Well, I wish that was true because I wouldn’t have to work. So, no, I don’t have any kind of crypto.

During the Mt. Gox bankruptcy, I was pushed to bankruptcy myself. I was detained for almost a year, during which time all my belongings were seized by the trustee fund. When I came out on bail in 2016, I came out with absolutely nothing.

The only thing remaining was a genuine distrust and simply the impossibility to get any kind of job — which, compared to this, actually I would say that I accomplished quite a bit, getting back on my feet. But I’m still far from done, I believe.

But still, if I had billions in crypto, it would have been so much easier for me. I did manage to finally create a bank account, but most banks would just say no, seeing my name. So, it’s been a while to find the bank that would let me even just create an account. I’m definitely not going to get any credit cards anytime soon.

When could Mt. Gox creditors get their money back?

AC: What of the amount that the creditors would be paid back? There were conflicting reports in the media, so is there a specific number?

MK: Well, I would say it’s confirmed because the only reason for it to get changed would be in case CoinLab gets a different amount approved, which is very unlikely, as far as I know.

I do not think the amount is going to be any lower than what it was going to be during the bankruptcy. It should also include cryptocurrencies such as bitcoin and bitcoin cash. But the case is that, I guess, it could take years.

For this, there are two parts: The trustee fund has actually secured more than $500 million worth of cash by selling bitcoins during the bankruptcy, and it has more than 100,000 bitcoin cash, which can be distributed too.

So, the only thing that remains would be to clear the CoinLab charges and then submit an original plan to the court. which would then outline a concrete road to implement the plan. So really, CoinLab is a big stopping block to moving forward.

Basically CoinLab has made a claim that is clearly outrageous. I mean, $16 billion is, by any kind of total, too much. And very clearly, it’s only there to delay the process in order to be in a better position when negotiating some kind of a settlement.

But quite clearly, the only way CoinLab would get any kind of money is if the trustee of the court approves a settlement — because the claim, as I know, has no merit.

In February 2019, U.S.-based bitcoin business incubator CoinLab upped its initial court claim against Mt. Gox from $75 million dollars to $16 billion. The original filing against the bitcoin exchange, which took place in 2013, implicated Mt. Gox of breaching a contract regarding the servicing of customers in the U.S.

Mark also shared his expectations regarding the outcome of the case against CoinLab:

MK: For the case, if it goes to the end, CoinLab will definitely lose and will not be awarded anything. I believe the trustee has a very good chance against CoinLab, as long as the case gets properly fought.

But the thing is, CoinLab is not fighting to win but to cause delays, because they know there is a big pressure on the trustee to clear everything as soon as possible, which is not an option as long as CoinLab is there.

Questions from readers

Ahead of the interview, Cointelegraph has asked the community to send in questions through social platforms. Here are several of them:

Does Brock Pierce have any right to the Mt. Gox URL?

MK: I do not believe Brock has the rights, as of today, for the URL or Mt. Gox itself. Of course, if he wants to take Mt. Gox, surely he can make an approach to the trustee, and the trustee would review it, discuss and decide whether it’s a good thing or not. But I do not believe — at this point, anyway — that this kind of thing will happen. Brock Pierce actually made two attempts at reviving Mt. Gox.

He came to Japan, so I met him in this office right here, actually, and we talked a little bit about different things. Basically, it didn’t seem like he had a solid plan to bring recoveries to creditors or to make things move faster. He seemed set on the idea of issuing a new coin. So, based on what I’ve seen, I’m not sure it would have benefited everyone equally.

Does Mark have any regrets about getting involved in the crypto world? And if he could go back in time and change anything what would that be?

MK: Well, I would say my main regret was to accept Mt. Gox instead of just creating a new exchange.

At the time, I didn’t have the overall experience I have today. When Jed [i.e., Jed McCaleb, the founder of Mt. Gox] came to me and offered me Mt. Gox — asking for money — I didn’t, at the time, find it suspicious. So no, with the experience I have today, I would never do those kinds of things.

Mt. Gox creditors are still waiting

AC: Do you still have any altercations with Mt. Gox creditors?

MK: I do have a lot of contact with many creators. I’m helping many people to try to go through all the process, which is in Japanese. Of course, I’m trying to do anything I can to help people, because today, I cannot do much more than that — although I’m making sure the bankruptcy process has anything it needs from me and trying to make it possible for creditors to contact me.

AC: In terms public perception, people were and still are quite suspicious of you. Do you think this notion toward you has softened over time.

MK: Being judged innocent of charges is actually a big stamp of approval from a Japanese court, based on the police investigation. So, I believe it’s actually helped restore a lot of trust and a lot of belief in people for me.

But, there’s still one case remaining, which I’m still fighting. Even if I am proven truly innocent, some people would just say that the court is not being fair or something. But actually, that would be an uphill battle, because Japan tends to have a very high conviction rate.

Justifying that I am innocent of the charges, the prosecution didn’t decide to appeal this. Something that I didn’t expect to happen. I believe this really means something.

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