#im jaebum fanfiction

[hoodiejaebum]

where do y'all read your fics these days?

is it ao3 or like. bc I literally only see people with 25 notes and their fics are decent in the got7 tag so yall have to be going somewhere else or there's rly only this many ahgase here

[ahgaseda]

pray | two

you are more than my existence, please listen to my prayer, hold me, tell me about myself, call my name so I can know who I am...

summary : everyone knows of the unspeakable evil that lives on the mountain, but you willingly sacrifice yourself to the demon named Jaebeom, as long as he takes you far away from the monster waiting for you at home.

warnings : strong profanity, explicit dialogue, instances of blood and violence, graphic sexual content, black magic themes, potentially triggering elements that involve mentions of past child abuse, mental health, etc.

miniseries chapters : one / two / three / four / five / six / seven

For the first few days, you returned to the border without fail. Waiting, but mostly hoping and praying that an entrance was made for you. It went without saying you navigated the edge of the forest, searching for the slightest break in the trees and thorns for you to slip inside. You were ready to endure any injury to be back where you belonged.

Of one thing you were certain - you hated Jaebeom. How he had taken everything from you. It was selfish and cruel, and you would never forgive him for it as long as you lived.

After weeks passed and the woods remained silent as the grave, wholly impenetrable, you finally surrendered. The last time you stood before the forest, you bid her a tender farewell.

You would give anything to know Jaebeom felt your pain, that he longed for you in his heart as much as you did for him. The woods must have been lonely.

Did you cross his mind at all? Even for just a moment?

A voice came from behind you, jeering, “And here she is again, staring at a wall of trees.”

“Hello, Gale,” you droned with disinterest.

A more arrogant and disdainful boy never existed than Gale. As a child, he often led the charge of children throwing rocks as you passed by. He always shouted the loudest when it came to how alone and pitiful you were.

But in more recent years, as you developed into a young woman, his gaze became less scornful and more filled with something worse.

He came to stand beside you, though his presence was unwanted, and spoke mischievously, “I can think of much better ways to occupy your time.”

“I’m sure you could,” you spoke, monotonous and uninterested.

Neither your body language or tone could dissuade him. “Everyone has advised me against my attraction to you,” he continued, moving even closer to your side.

You avoided his eyes and retorted, “For that I am eternally grateful.”

Gale ignored your response altogether and said, “They say you’re wild, untamed, and that you would not be a good, dutiful wife.”

Music to my ears, you mused, fighting back a grin. “They are absolutely right.”

Gale crept closer, until you could smell him, until you could feel his hot breath on the top of your shoulder. Your entire body bristled, wary.

“I spent a lot of time with horses, the kind we use for war, and I can assure you,” he whispered coldly. “Even the wildest of them can be broken into submission.”

You rounded on him, refusing to show him even the slightest of fear, and countered, “I’m not a horse. I’m a woman. And I would defy you with every breath in my body until the day I died.”

Gale’s lips broke into a broad smile and he cooed, “And that is what I desire about you.”

You rolled your eyes, parting from the border with a rush to your step. Gale was unnerving. There was malice in his eyes. He didn’t see you as a human, he made that abundantly clear. To him you were an animal, a trophy; something to own and mount on the wall.

He followed you closely, losing what little patience he had. “I would rather you accept my proposal willingly.”

You snorted and kept walking, exclaiming, “That was a proposal?”

“Yes,” he replied, puffing out his chest. “I want you for my wife.”

The mere thought set a bad taste on your tongue. You frowned, wrinkling your nose, and said, “I have no interest in having you as my husband.”

Angered, Gale grabbed your arm roughly and yanked you back, nearly knocking you off of your feet if not for how solidly he gripped you. “And do you think you will ever find better than me?” he shouted, leering over you.

You stared up at him in defiance and said, “I already found better than you and I loved him. And I can still taste his kisses.”

Gale blinked rapidly, shock fading into jealousy. “Is that so? Then, where is he? I do hope I’m invited to the wedding,” he sneered, mocking.

You bit your lip, eyes filling with tears at the memory of Jaebeom casting you out of the forest.

“You are an insane little thing,” Gale muttered, tightening his grip on your arms until you whimpered. “If not for how beautiful you are, I would never waste my time on you.”

At that, Gale released you harshly and skulked away, leaving you with your tears.

You turned a little, gazing solemnly at the forest in the distance. It was time to let go, time to move on. You would have to focus on self-preservation for the foreseeable future. And so you stopped visiting the border, forcing yourself to keep from looking in the woods’ direction.

On the morning of your eighteenth birthday, you wanted nothing more than to stay in bed. It had been a year since you last saw Jaebeom.

Despite your sadness, your father would never allow you to spend a day in your room and you continued on as if it were any other Thursday. You sat at the table and picked at your breakfast.

Your father did little to hide his eagerness at the offers he received for your hand in marriage. He planned to build his small fortune on your back.

However, the current war waged between men had put a delay on the arranged marriage. And your father’s temper had never been worse.

He reached sharply across the table and grabbed your wrist, growling, “You had better make this man happy. I will hear nothing of you resisting his advances. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes, father,” you spoke submissively. You knew nothing of the man he mentioned, only that he would soon own you.

There used to be more fire in you, but it had burned out. Every day felt as cold as the forest had been when she was taken from you.

Your father continued to rant, but his voice faded into the background. All you could think about was the kiss with Jaebeom on your last birthday. Your first kiss. And you shared it with a demon in the canopy of the forest, watching the sun go down.

There was nothing that could compare, nothing that could ease the pain of having lost your only friend on the same day you realized you were in love with him.

Commotion outside tore you from your melancholy thoughts.

Your father glanced through the window, brows stitching, and huffed irritably, “Damn kids harassing something again.”

That piqued your attention. You excused yourself and gathered your heavy skirt in your hands, hurrying outside to see what the rowdy neighborhood boys had found this time. Once you rescued a nest of eggs from their clutches. On another occasion you saved a fawn with an injured leg from their amusement.

This time, the boys were chasing a little black shadow and cornered it along the fence by the chicken coop. Only when you squinted and looked closer did you realize it was a baby panther.

“What is wrong with you?” you exclaimed, snatching a stick from one of the boys’ hands and slapping him over the head with it. “It’s just a baby, you brat!”

“Give it to me,” jeered another boy. “My father can make a little rug from its pelt.”

“I will skin you first if you touch it,” you threatened with a snarl, approaching the small beast delicately.

She seemed to sense your intentions and did not attempt to bite when you hoisted her up by the scruff. You cradled her in your arms, seeing she was female, and spoke soothingly to her.

The little cub wailed, starving for food.

The door to the nearby house burst open and a man wielding a knife yelled, “That little beast killed two of my chickens!”

Your eyes widened at the weapon he brandished and you knew the cub was about to suffer a brutal fate. You couldn’t stomach the thought and so you did what you had always done.

You ran.

The boys shouted with disappointment and called for their fathers. The man preparing to butcher the cub warned of punishment you would endure for blatantly defying him. Another voice, belonging to your father, broke through them all, demanding you stop dead in your tracks.

You listened to none, thinking only of the innocent beast in your arms. She gave no struggle, only gazed up at you with warm yellow eyes. For an animal, she seemed well-aware of the dire situation.

You ran until the border came in sight. Months had passed since you saw its thorns. They had not moved even an inch since the day you were barred from entry, but you had to try.

“You have to let me in,” you yelled with conviction. “I won’t let them kill her!”

The little cub mewled in your arms.

For a moment, you were met with only silence and your heart sank. Someone or something had weighed the scales and did not find in your favor. Tears filled your eyes and you whimpered, desperate.

Then, the forest groaned. It knew your voice, even after all this time.

The boughs shifted and the thorns parted. You were given the smallest of entries, enough space for one person as if you were a highly kept secret. You knew, thought it went unsaid, that the forest would certainly seal itself again in your wake, trapping you inside forever.

This was it.

You contemplated setting the cub at the edge and ushering her inside, but there was no one to feed or protect her. Then, you looked down at the cub and chuckled at your own hesitation. Your heart belonged in the forest and now you could finally return home.

You pressed inside, vanishing into the darkness.

After only a few steps, the thorns came alive again. No one would be able to follow you.

You cradled the cub close to your chest protectively and walked. You had no idea where to go, no thought of where you should go. You merely walked among the trees, breathing in the icy air that tickled your skin.

The forest had darkened. Light struggled to seep through the canopy. You could hardly see ahead and your breath appeared like smoke from your mouth. The cub noticed too and burrowed against your breasts for warmth.

“Don’t worry,” you cooed, exhaling heavily so your breath was manifest. “I’m a dragon.”

The joke may have amused you, but it was lost on the cub’s ears. She whined and hid her face in your arms with a mewl.

You pressed on, reaching the small clearing that once made your heart soar. The ground was brittle, the grass had died. A howl echoed amidst the darkness.

The forest had remained bound in winter for an entire year.

Rustling tickled your ears. The air chilled even more. Ice nearly formed on your lips and lashes. You shivered in place, hands turning numb. But you stood firm, knowing he had come.

Jaebeom descended from the shadows above and your heart jumped wildly in your ribcage. His feet touched the ground and his wings swept gracefully around him, coming to perch over his head.

“I told you,” Jaebeom warned through clenched jaws. “Never to come back here.”

You glared vehemently at him, how he could treat you with such frigid judgment. But you were quick to notice the year had not treated him kindly either. Darkness marred his beautiful, piercing eyes. Even more ink seemed to be branded across his chest. Despite the anger coursing through you, you wanted nothing more than to kiss him and melt the ice.

“I didn’t know where else to go,” you murmured shakily, glancing down at the beast you had smuggled inside. “They wanted to slaughter this little cub.”

Jaebeom took a step closer, peering down at the ebony creature in your arms. She turned and with one look at him, hissed in defiance. You fought a grin, pleased at her reaction.

That was why the forest let you in, Jaebeom mulled with a frown. Your willingness to protect nature. The wood heeded his wishes, but he was also required to heed hers. It was a mutual, symbiotic relationship.

Though he cursed the forest in his mind for letting you inside, he knew she would hear no argument of sending you back.

Jaebeom moved closer, wings dragging the ground behind him. “Are you afraid, cheonsa?” he asked lowly, almost in intimidation.

You hardened your gaze and replied, “No.”

Jaebeom tilted his head and persisted, “But you know I’m a monster.”

You eyed the great horns on his head and scoffed. “You are no monster compared to them.”

Jaebeom came even nearer and you could hardly breathe. Winter had taken residence in his chest and was freezing everything around him. He reached out and stroked a thumb over your cheek. You sucked in a breath. Despite his cold, he carried the scent of a raging wildfire, destroying all in its path.

“If I steal you away, you will be my bride,” Jaebeom reminded, his voice almost like a song. “Can you fathom that - being the demon’s bride?”

You countered, “You can’t steal what is already yours.”

Jaebeom’s eyes flickered and he was tempted to smile. A year for you had been an eternity for him. It still perplexed him how he had been able to survive for so long without you. His wings arched, flaring out in display.

“You broke my heart, Jaebeom,” you whispered morosely. “You chose my life for me.”

Jaebeom nodded, apologetic though he dared not apologize. “Fate had other plans,” he replied gruffly.

“If not for the war, I would be married by now,” you told him with a foul taste in your mouth, then snorted. “It’s been a year. I would undoubtedly have a child as well.”

Jaebeom stuttered, imagining the great swell of your belly or the sight of a dark-haired newborn nursing at your breast. He could barely force out the question, “Do you… want children?”

For the past year, you had been forced to give the notion plenty of thought. Swallowing the lump in your throat, you replied softly, “If I have a child I want them to be from a place of love and passion. Not convenience or obligation.”

“I understand,” said Jaebeom with a nod, glancing down at the cub once more. The little thing promptly gave a high-pitched growl at him.

You looked up at him with wide eyes, surprised. “Do you?”

“Yes.”

Your cheeks flushed as you asked, “Is that what you want from me?”

“What?” Jaebeom exclaimed. “No.”

You searched his face in confusion and pressed, “Then, why do you have to take a bride?”

Jaebeom pursed his lips and spoke dryly, “The Master commands it.”

You shuddered when you realized who he was referring to and said, “He’s not here. Why do it?”

“As we age our magic grows,” Jaebeom explained, surprisingly patient. “That’s why the forest is saturated in black magic.”

You waited.

“We have to find someone, someone we can bond our souls with, or the magic will become too much. It will kill us.”

Your eyes widened. “You mean, I will bear magic?”

He gave a single nod. “Yes.”

Your imagination ran wild and you asked, “Will I grow horns or wings?”

“No, you will stay as you are, but the sun will not smile upon you any longer.”

You sighed, softening a little, “I will be doomed to live in the darkness. Just like you. That’s why you pushed me away.”

Jaebeom’s eyes shone with unshed tears and he reached to cup your cheek, desperate to feel your skin beneath his fingertips again. He pulled you close, lips mere inches from yours, and whispered, “I saw you in the sun. I could never bring myself to take that away from you.”

You set your jaw and replied, “They can keep the sun, but you stole away my light for a year. For what I thought would be the rest of my life.”

Jaebeom winced, hearing that pained him though he already knew it deeply. “I promise, I will spend every day until my last making it up to you.”

You fought a smile, lowering your head to hide the corners of your mouth lifting.

Jaebeom slipped his hand beneath your chin, tilting up until your eyes were on him again. “Well?”

You sang quietly, “The demon comes to take her away. On a bed of stars they will lay.”

Jaebeom smirked before finishing, “And never again will she see the light of day.”

You giggled. It should have come as no surprise he knew the songs your people sang of his kind.

A scream sharply pierced the forest, making your blood run cold. You whirled around, shuffling backwards in horror. Jaebeom wrapped his arms around your waist and steered you behind him.

“What is that?” you gasped. The cub in your arms stirred restlessly, terrified.

“The forest is wounded,” he told you angrily, charging forward. His great wings fanned out, bristling with aggression.

Gale stepped with purpose inside, sword glistening with the dew of trees and vines. He had cut and sliced an opening for himself in pursuit of you.

The moment Jaebeom came into view, Gale gripped the hilt with both hands and held it before himself, shouting, “Stay back, demon!”

Jaebeom was livid and snarled, “You dare bring steel inside this place?”

You molded yourself to his back, a hand on Jaebeom’s arm, and called incredulously, “Gale, what are you doing?”

Gale felt his blood boiling at the sight of you in a demon’s clutches and said, “I saw you run here. I know you’ve been entering the forbidden woods all along.”

Jaebeom snapped, “Be gone from here.”

“Like hell I will,” Gale retorted. “Do you think you can steal my fiancee?”

Jaebeom scowled, seething.

“Your what?” you blurted in disbelief. “Gale, I said I will never marry you!”

“Your father agreed.”

You stood there dumbfounded. It was your worst nightmare come true.

Jaebeom’s wings rustled, a testament to his fury - and his restraint.

Gale held out his hand and called your name. “Come. He won’t take you while I have a sword.”

Jaebeom grimaced, eyeing the weapon with nothing short of loathing.

You let your hand slip down Jaebeom’s arm, moving past him until he was behind you. Jaebeom didn’t stop you. He knew the choice was yours and he would have to live with whatever you decided.

“You said I was insane,” you told Gale, gazing down at the cub against your chest. “Maybe I am. But not nearly insane enough to marry the likes of you.”

Gale recoiled and his face tensed with rage. “You little bitch, come with me now. I bought you fair and square!”

You met his eyes and felt only sympathy. And after a pause, you said, “I am where I belong.”

Jaebeom moved faster than you thought possible, sweeping you in his arms and taking to the air with a forceful beat of his great wings.

Gale’s shouts and threats faded into the rushing of wind.

You gripped Jaebeom tightly, gasping for air and lost for words. The demon soared through the forest, branches moving from his path and birds singing his arrival. When he broke through the canopy, you gasped at the thick fog around you, the same clouds you remembered surrounding the mountain.

Jaebeom flew higher and higher. Your ears began to ring. Your breaths were labored. You had never been at such an altitude. The cub in your arms screamed its confusion.

With you in his arms, the demon burst through the clouds, alighting on a precipice of stone. You looked around curiously, gasping at the sight of a looming castle before you.

For a moment, you held Jaebeom tightly, peering over the crest of his shoulder. He rather liked the heat of your rapid panting on his neck and made no moves to set you down.

“Where are we?”

“Home,” Jaebeom replied softly.

“This is your home?” you asked, voice trembling from the flight as you gawked at the many turrets and towers.

“Our home,” Jaebeom whispered in your ear, nuzzling his face in your hair. The scent of you was overwhelming.

“And what about this little shadow?” you asked, leaning down to kiss the brow of your baby panther. She closed her eyes contentedly at your affection though her fur still stood on end from defying gravity.

Jaebeom lowered you to the ground, an arm wrapped around your waist until you found your balance. “She’s all yours,” he droned. “I’ll have no part in raising her.”

“Shadow,” you mulled to yourself, meeting the yellow eyes of your new companion. “I quite like that name.”

You placed the cub on the ground and she danced at your feet, following you dutifully as you walked with Jaebeom into the castle. The demon pushed open the double doors and you stepped into the endless stone foyer, the pitter-patter of your bare feet echoing down the walls.

“It’s massive,” you said, gazing up at the ceiling and spinning in a circle.

“Mostly unused,” Jaebeom told you blithely. “I tend to keep myself between the bedroom and the kitchen.”

You chuckled, twirling again. Little Shadow refused to part from your feet.

Jaebeom watched you with delight, but you would have never known given the lack of expression on his face. “That… human in the forest,” he began.

“Gale.”

Jaebeom clearly wanted more explanation than that and pressed, “He was your betrothed?”

You laughed. “No. Definitely not.”

Jaebeom still wasn’t satisfied. “He seemed to think so.”

You finally faced him and quipped, “Then, he is much crazier than he ever said I was.”

Jaebeom tilted his head, smiling slightly. “Do your people consider you insane?”

You beamed with pride. “Very much so.”

The demon chuckled.

You studied him, approaching him with purpose in your step, and began, “All of my betrothals fell through. Men were ready to pay for ownership of me. Did you have something to do with their failures?”

Jaebeom shrugged and replied, “Men are preoccupied with the war between realms.”

You cocked a brow. “And how would you know that?”

“I have prayed every day since you left that the war would never end,” Jaebeom told you solemnly.

Folding your arms, you shot back, “I didn’t leave. I was cast out.”

Jaebeom felt his heart clench and hardened his gaze. He reached out and took your hand, bringing it to his lips for a chaste kiss. “And how long are you going to hold that against me?”

You smiled up at him and smarted, “For as long as it pleases me.”

Jaebeom wanted to chuckle. His heart was spinning, dancing in circles. Every moment you stood there before him he found it harder and harder to breathe.

When he woke up this morning, he had no idea you would be with him.

But here you were, the brightest of smiles on your lips, traveling up to your glistening eyes. Jaebeom was hopelessly drowning in his feelings for you.

You blushed when he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you flush against him. His bare chest was hot beneath your fingertips and you wanted to trace the pattern of one of his many tattoos.

“Do you accept me as your husband?”

You stared up at him, the grin making your cheeks hurt, and replied with a single nod, “I do.”

Jaebeom ran his thumb over your bottom lip, studying you intently. “Come with me then,” he beckoned with a low voice.

“Where?”

“To bed,” he replied bluntly, taking your hand and leading you beside him.

Your eyes widened and you asked curiously, “Are you trying to bed me without a wedding?”

He looked over his shoulder. “When I said make you my bride…”

“Oh, I see,” you said, planting your feet and letting your hand slip from his grasp. “I want something more binding.”

Jaebeom stopped, pivoting on his heels to face you, and his wings shuddered with excitement. “There is nothing more binding than me claiming you as my own.”

You found your resolve and reminded him, “Once upon a time, I offered myself to you.”

Jaebeom paused, heart heavy, and murmured, “I remember.”

Your lip trembled. “You made me feel unworthy.”

Jaebeom asserted, “I was the one that wasn’t worthy.”

You sighed. There you stood in the castle of a demon, about to become his bride for all eternity. You had prayed and wished for freedom and protection all your life, and he would forever be your lighthouse in the storm.

One day you would let go of your anger.

“I fully intend to surrender my virtue to you, Jaebeom,” you told him. “But first, I want marriage.”

Jaebeom wrinkled his nose. “Hmph.”

“And a wedding,” you added, at this point resorting to humor to relieve the tension you caused.

“Fine,” he said shortly.

“It can be just us,” you continued, slipping back into his embrace and wrapping your arms around his waist. “And someone obviously to perform the ceremony. Whatever you desire.”

Jaebeom roamed his hands to rest on your hips and his great wings moved instinctively around you, shielding you from invisible dangers. “My only desire is you…,” he finally revealed. “And whatever makes you happy.”

You batted your lashes. “I would not be opposed to a white dress, if you happen to have one.”

Jaebeom exhaled loudly, searching his thoughts for where in hell’s name he could find one. “I need to send a few letters.”

At that, his hands slipped free of your body and he began striding down the hall.

You followed him eagerly, hot on his heels, and asked with excitement, “Does this mean we will fly again?”

Jaebeom turned, brows furrowed. “No,” he replied flatly, pushing a door open and pointing inside. “Stairs.”

“How boring,” you whined, proceeding forward.

The two of you appeared in one of the higher towers, a turret with glassless windows. Ravens congregating inside squawked at your sudden arrival, but quieted at the sight of their fellow winged creature.

Jaebeom took small rolls of paper on the nearby table and began scribbling with a narrow piece of charcoal. You watched in silence as he prepared six brief letters, tucking each into the ankle band of a crow and sending it out into the sky.

“Ravens,” you thought aloud. “We use doves.”

“Doves have very small attention spans and even smaller brains,” Jaebeom deadpanned.

You giggled.

Returning to the main hallway from the tower, Jaebeom said, “Come along. I will show you to your room.”

“My room?” you questioned in pleasant surprise.

Jaebeom held out his arm and you looped yours in the crook of his elbow. “Assuming you won’t come to bed with me until we’re married, it would be poor manners to put you in my room.”

You chuckled. “I see.”

He escorted you to a door and explained, “This is the only spare bedroom that gets any use. My fellow demons sometimes stay here when they come to this side of the forest.”

You nodded to let him know you understood.

Jaebeom pushed the door open and ushered you inside.

“Oh,” you gasped, eyes widening at the scale of your room. Massive windows graced the far wall, curtains blowing lightly in the breeze. The bed lay in the center, on a raised platform, and a canopy of white gossamer material gathered overhead, tied to each of the bedposts.

Your vision darted to the desk along the wall, littered in writing materials. Then, you looked to the bookshelf and quaint reading nook, wanting to throw yourself on the velvet chaise and feel its warmth.

Shadow bolted inside, nearly colliding into your legs, and began to survey the room for herself. You giggled at her joy, following after the baby panther and plopping down on the side of the bed.

Jaebeom struggled to hide his smile more than ever, but his pale face stayed constant. He proceeded to say his goodbyes, allowing you to get settled with privacy.

“Jaebeom,” you called, before he could shut the door.

Jaebeom stuck his head back in and asked, “Yes?”

You gripped the side of the bed, your legs hanging and unable to touch the floor, and hoped he would sate your curiosity. “Do demons really steal away only the most beautiful of mortal women for their brides?”

Jaebeom bobbed his head. “Those of us doomed to live among mortals have no other choice. The Master keeps all she-demons in Hell with him.”

You blinked. “Oh.”

Jaebeom shifted his weight, his wings curling to his back almost in embarrassment as he continued, “We aren’t like your kind. No demon forces a woman into bed with him.”

You had tried to veil the question, but clearly he had realized what you were after and his answer put you at ease.

“We mate for life. Whoever we give ourselves to is our mate until we die. We need them to want us.”

You stood, approaching him somberly. “Am I free to leave? If there ever came a time…”

Though you had accepted him, Jaebeom understood you would want reassurance that you weren’t a prisoner in his castle. “I could not stop you,” he said, tender.

“Even if I am your mate?”

“Then, I would go the rest of my life with half of me missing.”

That’s right, you remembered. He said you would bear magic. “It sounds intense,” you told him. “So final.”

Jaebeom snorted. “We demons tend to live in extremes. Very dramatic, the lot of us.”

Heat flushed your cheeks when you asked shyly, “Would you prefer to have a demoness as your mate?”

Jaebeom shrugged. “I’ve never laid eyes on one.”

You looked down bashfully, tucking hair behind your ear, and mumbled, “I’m sure they’re far more beautiful than I am.”

Jaebeom felt his hands twitching with the urge to take you in his arms again as he whispered, “Nothing in this world or beneath it is more beautiful than you are.”

You lifted your head, gazing up at him while your heart fluttered.

“I’ve said too much,” Jaebeom huffed, gliding back to the door. “Rest now, cheonsa.”

“Why do you call me that?”

He paused, then teased, “It means… clumsy one, in my mother tongue.”

Somehow, you knew that wasn’t true.

Turning back to your room, you grinned and danced on your toes. It was a far cry from your little cot in the attic of your father’s house. Shadow whined at you, curling comfortably on the bed.

But you couldn’t sleep. Excitement raced violently through your veins. You smiled until you covered your face with your hands. Despite having no wings on your back, you swore you could fly.

Here you were, stepping into a new life; one you had always dreamt of, but could never reach.

As you lay on your back in bed, comforted by the crisp night air slipping past your curtains and into your sheets, you thought of Jaebeom. Your mind was consumed with memories of him.

You licked your lips, thinking of his broad chest and muscled arms. He had felt so strong when he carried you through the forest, as if you had been weightless. You imagined it must take endless restraint to keep from breaking you.

Your pulse quickened as you thought of your kiss beneath the trees, how carefully he had laid you on a bed of grass. How gentle his caresses and touches had been.

You tossed and turned a last time before giving up. Such a fool, you thought. As much as you had longed for Jaebeom, every moment of every day for the past year, to be sleeping in the room across the hall from him.

Smirking, you sat up in bed, looking to the baby panther asleep on one of the pillows. You gave her chin a scratch and sang, “Stay here, little Shadow.”

The door to Jaebeom’s room creaked no matter how slowly you pushed it open and you winced. To your relief, the figure in bed did not stir. Tiptoeing closer, you marveled his wings and how they tucked to his body like armor whilst he slept.

You pushed aside the wisp of curtains hanging from his bedframe and climbed onto the mattress, propping yourself over him. How beautiful he was, you thought. You were green with envy at the length of his lashes.

Leaning in, you pressed your lips to his with the most innocent of kisses.

His eyes slowly opened. Clearly he had not been asleep.

“Why are you…” Jaebeom began.

“I changed my mind,” you interjected.

He cocked a brow. “About?”

You straddled his hips and pulled the nightgown over your head, revealing your naked body for the first time.

Jaebeom swallowed the lump in his throat, eyes on your breasts before returning to your face. “No wedding?” he asked, more so for your benefit.

“Yes, wedding and the white dress,” you said levelly. “Tomorrow.”

Jaebeom brought his hands to your thighs, caressing his way to your hips and waist. Then, he confessed like a solemn vow, “All I’ve thought about is you. Every waking moment is you. Every dream I dream is of you.”

You felt tears in your eyes and whispered, “Kiss me, Jaebeom.”

He didn’t have to be told twice. Jaebeom sat up, ensnaring your body in his arms and molding his lips to yours. You held his face in your hands, kissing him back with desire before raking your fingers through his dark hair.

Jaebeom rose with you in his arms, guiding your legs to lock around his waist. His massive wings were daunting as they shrouded protectively over you. They shuddered and rustled with arousal, restless.

You slipped your hands through his locks and gripped his horns, feeling their ridges from base to tip. They were sharp, no surprise there, but Jaebeom seemed to feel nothing.

His wings were entirely different. The moment you touched where they connected to his shoulders, the wings came alive, fluttering. You danced your fingertips through his feathers, pleased at the way Jaebeom’s breaths staggered out as you kissed and touched him.

When you had your fill, you took his hand, fingers covered in black script, and brought it to your mouth, pressing kiss after kiss to his knuckles.

Jaebeom returned your affection, lingering his lips on the curve of your neck, trailing kisses to your collarbone and the swell of your breast. His hand slipped from your grasp and his palms roamed your body, drawn to the softness of your skin. You let out a small whimper when his thumbs rolled over your nipples.

Finally, he tightened his arms around you and asked, “Are you sure?”

You gave him a nod. “Yes.”

Jaebeom pressed his lips to your chest, squarely over your heart. The brands appeared, flesh-colored. Not stark black like his. The markings blended in with your skin.

You clenched your teeth and hissed. The burn of his branding was not painful, but the searing heat took you by surprise. You relaxed when you realized you were in no discomfort.

Then, you tipped your head back and moaned softly. Magic was coursing through your veins, from the tips of your fingers to the soles of your feet. White hot fire pulsed from your heart, like you were consumed in flames.

Jaebeom pulled back, gazing down at his handiwork. The script was in his mother tongue, which one day he hoped you would speak fluently with him. The magic would seep into your bones, living inside you until you both returned to the earth.

“The first of many,” Jaebeom growled, eager to see more brands spread from the anchor across your heart.

You smiled down at him, reaching for his naked chest to trace your fingertips over winding letters that lined his muscles.

Jaebeom cradled your face, running a thumb over your cheek affectionately. You couldn’t part your gaze from his eyes for even a moment.

“Please be gentle,” you whispered shyly.

Jaebeom tugged you down, kissing your lips. Then, his hand parted from your face and landed on your naked breast. “You will never know pain from me, my love,” he growled, kneading your mound. “Only pleasure.”

You swallowed thickly, desperate to kiss him again.

Jaebeom gathered you in his arms and turned, laying you softly on your back and making a place for himself between your thighs. His great wings arched and splayed, hiding you within.

His wings shuddered as he made love to you, like the ecstasy of your body unhinged them. You would never forget how it felt to be one with him, how he not only filled you, but made you overflow. And Jaebeom would never forget how you cried out his name when he found release in you.

Never had you been more satisfied. Every ache in your body was gone, never to return. The longing in your soul had dissipated. You were completely whole. All of your life you had been running and searching.

Finally, you were home.

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[kokobop-fire]

Birth {Im Jaebum}

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the gifts that I use, also English is not my first language so sorry for any grammar mistakes.

Jaebum tried to wipe the tears from his face, but more kept coming out of his eyes. In the distance, he could hear your grandmother's screams of pain and Jessica's voice trying to calm her down.

Everything had happened so fast, your whole pregnancy had been high risk, but he never thought it was going to end in your dead when he answered Jessica's call saying that they had to take you from the emergency room to the hospital.

Jessica had been sleeping with you the night before since at any moment you could go into labor; she never thought that she would wake up in the middle of the night and find you in a type of coma and the middle of a pool of blood.

Jinyoung had to rush him to the hospital, arriving just in time to be able to enter the emergency cesarean section; he did not care if there was a fan in the emergency room or if someone recognized him; he was thinking about you and the baby.

You wanted a natural birth; you went to classes with your grandmother when he could not accompany you; when he entered the room where you were going to have the c-section, it seemed chaos; your vital signs were going down, the nurses ran from one side to the other Carrying bags of blood.

Jaebum felt like he was in a movie as if he were on automatic pilot; the baby had to be taken out as quickly as possible; they were afraid that the baby would suffer some damage due to lack of oxygen, as soon as the head of their baby came out of your abdomen. Her first screams were heard, Jaebum tried to smile, but the smile was gone when the monitor that carried his vital signs began to sound, indicating how your pressure was rising at high speed before after marking any type indications of life.

For half an hour, the doctors tried to get your heart to beat again, but you had developed a condition called eclampsia, which had left you in a coma and caused your extreme bleeding.

He hadn't noticed he was crying silently until one of the doctors pronounced you dead was when he let out a sob. When he left the operating room, he found Jinyoung talking to one of the doctors while a nurse, along with Jessica, was trying to calm your grandmother.

Ironically, you died the same way your mother did, in labor, due to the same condition that your mother had developed; your poor grandmother had already lost her daughter and now her granddaughter in the same way.

Jinyoung tried to talk to him, but he ignored him, he was looking for the room where they put the newborns, he had not seen his little girl, when one of the nurses came to the room she helped him look for the baby.

It was not until when he held her in his arms, it was when reality hit him, the baby had lost her mother, and he did not know anything about babies; it was something to have you by his side and another to raise the baby alone, he felt without hope.

Was he qualified for that? Would he be a good father? How would he talk about you with the baby?

"It is beautiful, right?" Jaebum was scared when he heard Jessica's breathy voice, which looked like a walking disaster, her pajamas stained a little with blood and her face red and swollen from crying. "We will be fine, Jaebum; you will not be alone; Mrs. Hee Jeen and I are going to be with you for whatever you need."

He nodded slightly without taking his eyes off her little girl, her face had a pink shadow, her big round cheeks, and her big eyes, "I don't even know what name to call it."

"(Y / N) had a name, Sun Heen, it was the name of her mother."

"Im Sun Hee, I like it."

He had a long road ahead of him, but one thing he was sure of was that he was never going to leave his little girl alone. He was going to be in charge of giving value to her name Happiness and Goodness.

Im Sun Hee {임선희} Born on 01/10

[taexual]

HOLIC - 50 | jb x reader

pairing: Im Jaebum x Reader

genre: enemies to lovers au | roommate au

warnings: fluff

words: 3.1k

disclaimer: i do not own the gif, please let me know if it belongs to you, so i can give proper credit

the final chapter is up, let’s get it!

           prev / next

To say that it was raining cats and dogs would have been akin to saying nothing at all because the precipitation that night resembled a whole downpour of whales much more accurately. You have, of course, experienced rain before and you never really appreciated it much, but as you exited the car outside of the building, you welcomed every drop with a smile on your face. It seemed as though there used to be so many things in life that you’d hated, but tonight, as you texted Jaebum, announcing your arrival at the party, each of those silent moments of hatred seemed to lose all meaning.

The waiter took your coat after you entered the empty loft that you and Jackson had picked out for tonight’s event. Giving him a grateful nod and brushing the wet hair away from your face, you grabbed a glass of champagne by the door and headed for the party. With each step that you took inside of the packed venue – full of people, waiting to hear and to congratulate Jaebum on his debut EP – you watched the white walls of the building come alive with the pictures you’ve taken of Jaebum in Jackson’s studio that very first time you were there.

You wanted to take partial credit for the planning of this event, but really, it had been Jackson’s idea. As soon as you and him started to work together, he didn’t see a point to host your exhibition on a separate night from Jaebum’s release party because the two instances were connected so closely to one another. Jaebum had used you for inspiration when he worked on the songs he’ll be putting out for the world to hear and, similarly, the only pictures you wanted to exhibit for all to see were the ones that featured Jaebum.

Now, smiling as your eyes searched for the live-version of the man in the pictures on the walls, you welcomed the warm memories of all the days leading up to this moment. All the fights and the make-ups. All the kisses and inside jokes. All your shared friends – who were all here, eager to congratulate you and Jaebum both – and all of your shared nights.

The title piece for both, your exhibition and Jaebum’s EP, greeted you in the center of the room, reading in bold letters, “HOLIC. indicating a person’s abnormal desire for something.” Another memory sparked in your mind – you’ve only settled on the title a few nights ago, lying awake next to Jaebum who was tracing symbols on the sensitive skin of your neck—symbols, that were only visible to him—with the tip of his finger.

“I’ve never needed anyone this much before,” he had whispered to you then, “so much that it feels like an illness without a cure.”

You had responded to him with endless confessions of love, lasting all throughout the night and well into the morning, and all was decided.

Admittedly, out of all the memories that the pictures on the walls brought back, the memories of the last few nights before this party were your most favorite ones. Even if thinking about them made you much dizzier – and hotter – than the champagne that was being served here.

“Hey!” Jackson’s shrill voice distracted you and you turned your head to see him and a group of executives you thought you’ve seen around his studio a few times before. “Where’s the boyfriend? We should get some pictures taken of you two together.”

“Oh,” you looked around again. “I thought you were with him. Isn’t he in the back?”

“I don’t know,” Jackson glanced towards the hallway at the end of the room – it lead to a storage room that Jaebum had planned to use to rehearse, “he was waiting for you to arrive.”

“I’ll go find him,” you said and, with a quick nod at the people in Jackson’s entourage, excused yourself.

You didn’t even reach the hallway before you saw the door open at the far end as Jaebum stepped out of the storage room, his shoulders hunched and chest heavy with anxiety. He closed the door, stopping short as soon as he saw you.

“You’re here,” he said and, even though it was too dark to see him, you could hear the smile in his voice. “You look beautiful. Maybe you shouldn’t come closer or else we might miss the entire event.”

You laughed, crossing the hallway anyway, because you haven’t seen him today yet – he’d left early for a soundcheck and refused to bring you along with him, not wanting you to hear his songs early – and that was too long of a time. Jaebum, feeling exactly the same way, had his arms wrapped around you as soon as you stopped close enough for him to reach.

Every kiss you’ve shared since reuniting that night in the lounge room felt so important and special that you both refused to pull away first as if this was the last kiss you’d ever share and neither of you wanted to be responsible for its ending. You didn’t mind losing yourself in him completely whenever your lips touched but, this time, you two were about to start the biggest night of your lives to date and, despite everything, you had to pull away.

“Jackson is looking for us,” you said, reluctantly breaking the kiss—and then regretting it right away because of how alluring he looked from up close. “He said something about getting our picture taken.”

“Ah, that’s right,” Jaebum groaned. He’d already talked about how little wish he had to participate in the promotional aspect of making music – he just wanted to create and to sing – but he knew he wouldn’t get out of it. “Let’s go.”

“Don’t look so sad,” you said, taking his hand into yours as the two of you headed towards the party. “It’s your big night.”

“It’s our big night,” he corrected, pressing a quick, chaste kiss to your cheek just as the two of you emerged from the hallway. The few photographers Jackson had hired for tonight immediately found the two of you, their flashes going off so suddenly and with such vehemence that nearly everyone at the party turned to look. “God, I feel awkward.”

Smiling, you turned to look at him and – not daring to kiss him now that there were cameras on you – chose to fix his tie for him instead. “Don’t. You look great.”

Jaebum watched you as you tightened his tie, his eyes providing the much-needed warmth on this rainy day – the photographers were having a field day and they didn’t even have to try – and then leaned in to whisper into your ear, “I’m so grateful to have you next to me tonight.”

“I love you,” you replied, his hand clutching yours tighter. “I never thought we’d make it this far.”

“I love you,” he echoed, “I never had doubts about this.”

Thankfully, Jackson proved to be not just a great friend and a talented artist – or perhaps a producer? A photographer? A model? The man clearly hated labels – but also a fantastic party host. Another few moments later, when you and Jaebum were already risking permanent eye damage from the camera flashes, Jackson shuffled closer to you, waving his hand around in a manner so authoritative, the photographers ceased their rapid flash fire immediately.

“Let’s get started, yeah?” Jackson asked and, after getting affirmative nods from both of you, he proceeded to walk Jaebum to the platform in the far corner of the room.

A microphone and a stool was already prepared for Jaebum on the platform, the audio engineers giving him a thumbs-up from across the room. Slowly, the background music that had played through the speakers since the party started faded out, and the room prepared to finally hear what they’d come here to hear.

“Thank you for coming,” Jaebum said into the microphone as soon as he climbed on the platform. His voice sounded so sheepish, you could tell that the few elderly ladies behind you had started to giggle because they were falling in love with him, too. “It’s a very special night tonight and I’m happy to get to share it with all of you.”

You wished for nothing more than to stand silently in the opposite corner of the room where you could hear Jaebum’s clear voice but, as soon as he finished his thank-you speech and introduced the first song, you learned that that was absolutely not going to happen.

Your friends were the first ones who approached you, trying to keep their excitement to a minimum but still distracting you from Jaebum’s music. You didn’t mind – it felt so touching to hear their words of support – and you didn’t really mind the people from Jaebum’s agency who approached you next, either, because, for one, you felt like you had to leave a good impression on them, but also, they were unexpectedly supportive as well. Apparently, this was the first acoustic-showcase-turned-photography-exhibition for any artist signed with their label and that was, according to them, a great start for any career.

You got to hear Jaebum finish the first song – and saw how lost in the music he seemed to be on that platform; he looked like he was exploring a different world, far away from the party and the people here – and applauded as loud as every other person in the room before, just as he started to introduce the next song, you were forced to return to the position of co-host and carry on with your own performance.

Apparently, the people who had come tonight weren’t just friends and acquaintances, but complete strangers as well. They had simply gotten curious about an event in their neighborhood and decided to show up. You learned of this when Jaebum’s second song of the night unleashed a chain of people you’ve never met – all of them were curious about purchasing the artwork. Your artwork.

Truthfully, you hadn’t even planned on selling any of your pictures, so, flushed and disheveled, you left them waiting while you scanned the party for Jackson.

“I got this,” he reassured you as soon as you found him – he was chatting up the three elderly ladies from before – and explained the situation. “You go to the front, yeah? He needs to see you.”

“Y-yeah,” you nodded, overwhelmed by so many things happening at the same time. “Thank you!”

Jackson nodded and headed in the direction you had pointed in, while you made your way closer to Jaebum’s platform. For the first few moments, you couldn’t concentrate on the sound of his voice for too long. You kept turning around to check on Jackson who was showing your pictures and bargaining with anyone who was interested. But, before long, Jaebum’s songs ended up captivating you after all. It was simply impossible not to feel yourself wander into the realms he’d created with his soulful music.

Watching him was an all-consuming experience. Jaebum kept his eyes closed for most of the songs but whenever he did allow himself to look at the audience, his eyes always found you by default. That alone was enough to make your heart race but every time he smiled when he looked at you – as if he wasn’t expecting to see you standing at the front, completely transfixed by him – sent you right into a dizzy spell and you were worried you’d conclude this night by passing out before hearing his entire set.

“The last song,” Jaebum announced right when your cheeks were starting to hurt from smiling so much, “is easily the most meaningful one in the EP. It’s about someone who’s really important to me. The most important, actually. Uh, we met under unusual circumstances, to be honest. I caused a lot of damage in this person’s life – I broke furniture, even,” he had to pause until the audience stopped laughing, “I was generally a very big asshole. But this person and I went through a lot a-and I hope we go through a lot more together.”

When Jaebum looked at you before the first chords started to play, you were afraid you looked like a deer caught in the headlights. Your heart was struggling to keep beating as the time around you seemed to come to a stop.

“You and I, who met by accident,” he started the song, the richness of his voice so much more prominent when he was singing live than it was on the record, “you never even thought about us, but my head is completely filled with thoughts of you. I think about you every moment of the day.”

You tried to focus on your breathing because focusing on the words he was singing – the words he might have written about you – was making your hands shake and your eyes water. This could have been the very song Jackson had mentioned when he confronted you at the exhibition you’d attended with Jiho.

“Without missing a single day, no matter where I am, I want to be with you,” he sang and you perked up, recognizing the last line. This was the same song—the same melody, the similar lyrics!—that you’d overheard Jaebum sing to himself in the shower at the motel all of those weeks ago. “I don’t want to be apart, not for one moment. Let’s make a promise, the two of us.”

You’d have promised him anything in that moment—and any moment that followed—as you listened to him sing, your entire body coming alive with each chord. You could feel your pulse throb in your veins, your temples, and your throat all at the same time.

“Each gesture of yours is picturesque. Even when you wake up in the morning, you sparkle,” Jaebum’s voice continued, his eyes catching yours in a loving—and absolutely unyielding—gaze. “It wouldn’t matter if you were shabby, you’re already inside of my heart. Even if someone else comes along, no one compares to you.”

Your throat was dry but your eyes were the complete opposite. You felt the first tears slip out of your control and slide down your cheeks -- just like the raindrops had, outside of the loft -- as soon as Jaebum gripped the mic stand tighter, starting the chorus of the song.

“I can’t stop thinking ‘bout you,” he harmonised, his eyes closing but his heart remaining open as words spilled out from the deepest cavities of his chest, “I am spiraling out of control. All I wanna do is love you, the spot next to me naturally belongs to you.”

You flinched, startled by an unexpected hand that had landed on your shoulder just as the chorus drew to a close. Tearing your eyes away from Jaebum, you saw Jackson next to you – a proud, almost fatherly, smile on his face. He didn’t say anything but the nod of his head confirmed what little doubts you may have had left – this was the song for you. The song about you.

“When I think about it now, it still makes no sense,” Jaebum continued, the feeling of you finally hearing these words so relieving, he couldn’t help the small smile that had crept up to his lips as he asked, “how did I fall for you in such a short time? Even when I close my eyes, I’m thinking about you. I can’t fall asleep, what’s the matter?”

You knew you were going through the most powerful whirlpool of emotions of your life as you felt the tears on your cheeks but couldn’t resist mirroring Jaebum’s smile.

“I don’t know if I’m me, sometimes I get surprised. My image, even if it’s the same, is a little awkward,” he sang, each and every word full of the feelings he’d grasped and pulled out of his heart to put them into the song. “But I think it’s okay – this isn’t so bad, either. As long as I’m next to you, whoever I am, it’s all good.”

You felt so much love for him, you thought you were going to explode. And, in spite of finding the song simply mesmerizing and utterly unforgettable, you suddenly couldn’t wait for it to end because even though he was singing it on a platform a mere few feet away from you, he still felt too far.

“I can’t stop thinking ‘bout you,” he admitted again in the second chorus. When asked later, you’d never be able to tell if he was singing this song at his release party in front of dozens of people, or if he had pulled you away from the crowd to sing to you about all the things he’d insisted he was so bad at saying out loud.

Bowing to deafening applause when the song ended, Jaebum thanked everyone once again, his speech directed at those who came and those who didn’t. He thanked his friends individually. He thanked his label and everyone involved in the creation process. He thanked his family. And he thanked you – but you were already crying too much to make sense of anything he was saying.

As soon as he was finished, he wasted no time before climbing off the platform and, with a smile brighter than the brightest star in the night sky, he made his way towards you. The people were still applauding him when he reached you but he was now focused on something else entirely.

“You didn’t like the song?” he asked with a smile as his hands carefully wiped the tears away from your face.

You laughed at the absurd question, wrapping your arms around him and leaning your head against his shoulder as you whispered, “I loved it. I love you.”

“I love you, too,” he said and the room erupted into a yet another round of applause as he hugged you back, laughing in the same ethereal way that made your heart dance and the rain outside stop, so the whole world could listen.

With the people around you still on a high brought on by Jaebum’s music and with the applause still ringing in your ears, Jaebum took you back into the world he’d created for you and him only -- a world that seemed to be miles away from anyone else and lightyears away from real life. No one wanted to approach you and interrupt. No one dared.

Kissing your temple, Jaebum pulled away slightly to push a stray strand of your hair away from your face and ask, “do you still have doubts if we’ll make it?”

“No,” you answered, your eyes glittering with life and with love. “I think we’ve already made it.”

   chapter directory

[strrawberrii]

[def.]

It was jarring, to say the least, when your eyes met his. You, by all means, were nothing special to write home about and yet he looked at you like you were the only person left on the earth. That he would hold you above all else and always, always pick you. You weren’t sure why. You were never sure why. But the days that turned into months and then years taught you slowly how to love yourself and through that you were able to look at yourself with the same kind eyes that he did; your def. Complete paradise surrounded you and the longer you were with him the brighter things got, the warmer the air felt, the more vibrant every taste and color were. You would never get sick of it and you hoped so desperately that neither would he.

[strawberriimochi]

[1:14am]

The bitterness set in as the clock ticked away and you were alone in the bed you shared with a boy you were beginning to question if he truly loved you or not. The dinner you had made for your anniversary sad cold and untouched, the candles you had lit earlier were now burned down to tiny little nubs, the dress you had specifically bought for tonight sat balled up on the floor; completely discarded as you drank and drank and drank bottle after bottle of your favorite grapefruit soju. When would he finally show up? Bitterness was at an all time high and you couldn’t forgive him this time. Not again. Not on your anniversary. JB, you thought. Why? Tears were well past the point of falling as if all the salt in your body had been expunged and you genuinely were confused. He said at noon he would be home at five yet it was well past one am and you were still alone.

A ding on your phone alerted your hazy gaze away from glaring holes in the wall opposite you towards the tiny little notification from none other than Jackson. It was simply a photograph, snapped unassumingly by him with the caption wish you could have came out tonight. And sitting there, amongst the rest of the boys was none other than the man himself; your JB. Well, maybe not. Not anymore. Not when he clearly went out for drinks with the guys over coming home like he said for the anniversary you thought he actually cared about.

A simple ? was all you sent back as real questions began running a mile a minute through your whole being. As if the universe didn’t hate you enough tonight your phone chimed again but this time it wasn’t from your friend but from someone who you thought was more than that. JB.

don’t take it out on jackson. b home soon.

Tossing your phone down onto the bed you shut the light off, rolled over onto your side, hugged your knees together and started to cry more salty tears silently into your pillow.

You’d wait like you always did. You’d listen like you always would but the disappointment growing in the pit of your stomach wouldn’t be as easily won over and forgotten. If Jackson hadn’t sent you a picture and your confusion as to why he also thought you for some reason couldn’t have tagged along tonight JB probably would never have even messaged you.

Some boyfriend. It was the only thought that lingered as you lay there, hearing the click of the front apartment door at around three am. The hallway light illuminating the open door as the bed sunk lower. You were stiff as much as you could be while also being completely depressingly drunk; the salt from earlier sticking to everything and you couldn’t help but wonder why he wasn’t trying to sooth you.

“Night,” he muttered as the shifted, getting more comfortable far away from you.

“I hate you.”

[yves-saintlaurwang]

gossamer

[requested: so starting off in a relationship with jinyoung → accident → amnesia → relying almost  entirely on jaebum (hint at love triangle) + the choice of ending was left up to me]

FIN

“Why don’t we just let it go?”

🌙

Have you ever loved someone so much, you can barely breathe when you’re with them?

“I had a lot of fun with you tonight.”

“Was that before or after you had to carry me home?”

His laugh reverberates in his chest, tickling mine as I feel it against his back. I lift my head to rest it on his shoulder and nudge my temple against his neck.

“You didn’t have to,” I say softly even as my arms instinctively tighten around his shoulders.

“True, and you are kind of heavy.”

“Park Jinyoung!”

He laughs again, letting his head fall against mine before his arms – hooked under my knees – lifts me a little. “You said you were dizzy! And you live ten minutes away.”

“Twenty,” I mumble defensively to express my guilt.

“No one drinks wine like you, okay? You’re supposed to hold it up to your nose, smell it first, and then sip.”

“I did that!”

He stops walking and tilts his head, staring at me incredulously. “You chugged it from a paper cup.”

“I take big sips,” I snort.

He’s silent as his eyes narrow judgmentally. I have a clever remark waiting at the tip of my tongue for him, but he pecks my cheek and a laugh spills from my mouth.

“Hey.” I tap his arms for him to let me down, nudging his side with my knee until he carefully lowers me, never letting go until my feet are on the ground. I hold out my hand and he takes it as we continue the short way back to my place.

I know he was indulging in my vanity when he carried me from the studio. Knowing I wanted to show off a little, that I was proud of being able to say that we were together, even if for tonight.

For all I know, he could rethink the entire thing and decide to stay friends. It’s not like we were in a relationship. He was just the guy who asked me to get food with him sometimes. Some guy from my philosophy class I painted for an assignment.

But I sneak a glance at him as we walk along the empty streets and he’s so entirely his own.

Jinyoung was the kind of person who didn’t care what people thought of him. Maybe he indulged in his own vanity, but he never struck me as the type who could be someone else’s somebody.

I envied that. And I was self-conscious as somebody he wanted to know. The truth is, I go back and forth between reassuring myself that I’m doing what’s best for me and reminding myself what a fuck-up I am for it. I mean, I did take pride in my work and I was afraid to show that sometimes I didn’t. It just never occurred to me that what Jinyoung thought of me would ever be important.

I want that. I want that to be important to me. I want him to be important to me.

As we stand together waiting for the light to turn, maybe because I’m a little disoriented, I can’t stop thinking about his hand in mine and the warmth of his palm. And my hands being so grossly sweaty, but he hasn’t said or done anything to indicate he notices.

I take a step closer and he takes his hand back, to my disappointment. But he wraps his arm around my shoulders and gently brings me into his side as we wait. His jacket is soft against the skin of my cheek and I hesitate before wrapping my arm around his waist.

Between the cars passing us, I can just barely hear him murmur to me, maybe even to himself, “You don’t have to hide from me.”

Without thinking, without stopping to wonder what I’d meant to him then, nothing else seemed to matter. I was so used to having to explain myself to the people who told me it was a hopeless dream, an unproductive, uncertain thing to love. When he told me not to, I couldn’t help myself.

I held back hot tears, hid them under gasping laughter because, for the first time in a long time, someone believed in me. Even just the littlest amount, however much it is, Jinyoung believed in me.

“They were beautiful,” he said softly under the streetlights, “I’m proud of you.”

And he squeezes my shoulder, but I bury my face in his jacket. He lets me catch my breath. I manage to whisper, “I’m sorry,” and repeat it again and again only for myself to hear.

I’m sorry because I fell in love tonight.

🌙

I found him sitting outside the art department waiting for me, just like he said he would. Even after I told him I could walk myself home, he stopped answering those texts. That was almost an hour ago.

As I get closer, my footsteps become lighter and I tilt my head only to smile at the book in his lap. Always had a book in his lap, his knee crossed over the other, and his hair fallen over his forehead.

I bend down behind the bench and put my hands over Jinyoung’s eyes, holding back a guilty laugh when he visibly jumps. His hands grip the book just for a moment before he relaxes against his seat.

“Guess who,” I sing coyly.

The muscles in his face move under my touch, his cheekbones too, as he wrinkles his nose. “It’s pretty obvious, I know your voice.”

I roll my eyes and throw my hands up, resting them on his shoulders. “You’re so broody.”

But I kiss his cheek noisily, smiling when he turns to me with one of his own. That serene, relaxed kind that looked sleepy when I first met him. Soft. Jinyoung was so terribly soft.

His hand reaches out to touch my cheek. The back of his knuckles skim my jaw and chin, stroking the corner of my mouth with the pad of his thumb. He looks at me and I don’t want to move. I’ve never been touched so tenderly by someone, never felt so entranced by the way someone’s eyes can hold mine.

He has touched my lips and kissed every inch of my skin, but I’m still getting used to being loved by him.

“And you’ve got too much energy for me,” Jinyoung murmurs before kissing me gently.

Beside myself, my lips twitch and I lower my head, laughing silently as I press my hand over the one he cradles my face in. I lace my fingers through his and stand up as he extends his arm so I could walk around the bench, never letting go of him.

“I’m sorry you had to wait so long.”

He shakes his head, “I had to get some reading done anyway. I’m standing in for a professor next week and I really don’t want to blank in front of eighty kids.”

“Kids?”

“Freshman,” he corrects himself, exasperated. “I want to be respectable.”

I look down at his pale blue button-down shirt and pressed black slacks, blinking at the patent leather shoes before meeting the amused expression on his face.

“What?”

“Jinyoung,” I sigh out, “You already dress like their grandfathers, you don’t have to worry about being respectable.”

He blinks, tilting his head up at me. “Why are we together again?”

“Because you feel safe going completely unhinged around me?”

“Huh.” He lets go of my hand and puts his book in his shiny, pressed leather messenger bag that I thought was so damn pretentious. “Thought it was because you’re charming and ridiculously full of life. Could have something to do with your ability to paint me extremely well.”

“If you love me, you can just say so. I mean, if your pride can handle it,” I grin widely.

“And spoil you? Absolutely not.” He stands up and takes my chin between his fingers again to kiss my forehead. “Besides, that’s too simple. And there are other ways to say it.”

“Like?”

“Like, I can’t wait to have dinner with your parents next week and tell them what an incredibly talented daughter they have.”

I lower my eyes, biting my lip to hide the girlish glee bubbling in my stomach. “My dad wouldn’t let you in the house after that.”

“That’s too bad,” Jinyoung shrugs, not feeling sorry at all. “Guess I’ll just climb up through your window. Get real Shakespearean with it.”

“You’re such a nerd.”

“You love this nerd.”

I shake my head and pull him away from the bench. “Can’t argue with that logic. I call Romeo!”

“You don’t want to be Juliet? She owns the last half of the play.”

“No way, you’d look way better in the dress.”

He laughs next to me, nudging his shoulder into mine before putting his hand on the small of my back and pulling me to him, walking together in strides.

“So what kept you?” he asked.

“Struggling with a piece,” I shrug, “Couldn’t quite get it how I wanted.”

“Another block?”

“Something like that.”

Jinyoung squeezes my hip as we stop at the crosswalk. “You’ll figure it out. There’s nothing you can’t paint.”

That gentle, so certain confidence in his voice takes my breath away. I want to tell him that that’s not true. There are plenty of things I couldn’t put on canvas, not even the best artists could.

But I look at him and find the pride I searched for in people I’ve known all my life. So does it even matter?

He’s going to say I painted the sun and stars and the moon in the sky if I tried to argue anyway.

He turns his head to look back at me knowingly and shakes his head with an amused smirk.

But I could never paint the depth of his gaze when he’s reading words off a page out loud. Or hear his laugh even though I’ve memorized every line in his face, every curve and crook of his hands when he covers his mouth.

Even though it’s never stopped me from trying, I could never capture Jinyoung in all that he is.

There are no colors, shades, hues of any kind that could give life to the light he brings out of me or the one I spark in him.

🌙

I don’t expect Jinyoung to come to the studio. I don’t expect anything, or even allow myself to want anything from him. Not when he hasn’t tried to contact me and knowing that what was left between us was all we had left.

In an entirely selfish way, I think maybe it’s better if he decides to never see me again. At least then he could forget me. It’s only fair when I’d forgotten him. I try not to listen to myself, to that little part of me that is getting easier to ignore whenever the thought that I deserve to be forgotten creeps into my mind.

Still, it doesn’t stop me from waiting for him.

But six o’clock passes, then seven, and eight. K leaves at nine after he hands me the keys. The time passes either like a blur or achingly slow, and I’m caught between looking over a work-in-progress and washing up. In the end, I’m just waiting and trying to hide it.

He comes, I’ll talk to him.

He doesn’t, then he doesn’t.

He comes, I’ll tell him the truth.

He doesn’t, then he doesn’t.

He comes, I’ll tell him to forget.

He doesn’t, then he doesn’t.

If he comes, I deserve it.

If he doesn’t, I deserve it.

I’m not ready. Whether Jinyoung will show up or not, I’m not ready to face him now and Jaebum is right. I’ll never be ready to face him. I’m afraid to do the hard thing if it means that I’ll be hurting him.

But I’m afraid that if I don’t, I won’t be—

“Hello?”

Run.

A chill runs up my spine as I put my dirty brushes in the sink and take a step towards the door. With hesitating hands, I push it open. He’s not up yet.

“Hello?”

Hide in the cleanup. Maybe he’ll leave.

He won’t. Jinyoung is not someone who just gives up after not even trying. He doesn’t believe in doing the easy thing. He cares too much to ever choose the easy thing.

I’m scared. But I step outside and work up that bit of bravery he saw in me to call out, “Up here! Cleaning!”

Like nothing’s wrong. As if he didn’t leave my hospital room with his hands balled into fists and his head down because he couldn’t bear to look at me.

Be brave, I tell myself and shut my eyes, opening them when footsteps echo from the steps. Be brave.

I walk over to meet him halfway, but the sight of him leaves me breathless. His chest is heaving slightly like he was trying to catch his breath and sweat gleamed from his temple down his neck. Tucked under one of his arms is a small shoebox.

Did he run here? To give my stuff back?

My eyes are fixated on the white box, at the little bits of paper tucked inside and instinctively wrack my brain for what it could be that I gave to him. Thinking it could distract me from this gnawing emptiness in my stomach.

“I wasn’t sure—“ His voice cuts through the silence between us.

I look to him and find that he’s staring right back. Jinyoung, who was beautiful even with tears shining in his eyes, the beautiful boy who waited for me. Who told me that everything was going to be okay when I didn’t even know his voice anymore.

Jinyoung who promised to love me if he never saw me again.

“I honestly didn’t know if I should have come,” he murmurs. And I hear it in his voice, the uncertainty and that doubt he tried so hard to hide from me. If it meant protecting me, he’d choke on his own pain before any of it could touch me.

I smooth my already dry hands on my jeans, not knowing what to say. “Sorry. I mean, thank you,” I add quickly, blinking at the floor. “Sorry, it’s late.”

“It’s fine. Are you okay?”

“How can you ask me that?” I blurt out before I can take it back.

He flinches as if I’ve just hit him.

I purse my lips and look up at the ceiling so he can’t see me, but I know he does and that makes it so much worse. My fingers squeeze the thick fabric of my jeans, trying to stay calm. To keep myself level, think good thoughts, think real and good thoughts.

I am not broken. I am not broken.

My throat feels tight as I watch Jinyoung watch me in stunned silence, but I can’t keep him waiting like this. I take a shaky breath in, then carefully out.

“All this time, even now, you’ve put me before you. Even when it hurt to hear me say that I-I forgot—“

I covered my mouth and breathe through my nose, keeping my eyes up. Keep the tears back and show him that I am not this broken thing. I am not fragile, not the glass girl he was too scared to even touch in that hospital bed.

“I’m sorry, Jinyoung.” I raise my chin and meet his eyes even when all I want to do is put my head down. “I wanted to tell you that you didn’t deserve that. And I’m sorry for making you wait for me. I’m sorry for every minute and every second that I ever wanted you to wait for me.”

I’m sorry to him even now for wanting him to meet the distance between us, knowing it could drag him to sink with me.

He clears his throat and it echoes through the empty room before he takes the steps closer to me.

As he nears, I notice how tired Jinyoung actually looks. His shoulders slightly slacked, footsteps heavy. There was a bit of color under his eyes and a barely noticeable sag in the lines of his mouth.

He stops in front of me with the box still securely tucked under his arm. And he says to me very carefully, “You could have died.”

“I—“

“I almost lost you,” he cuts me off, drawing closer until he’s standing over me. “Maybe it’s selfish. I’m sorry if it is, but I almost lost the girl I love. The last thing I wanted is for you to apologize to me for losing yourself.”

I shake my head, not knowing what else to say or do to make this better or how to tell him that that wasn’t what I meant. I want to run away. I’m not ready. I need to run away.

The box falls with a loud clack, flutters of paper and pit-pats of things I couldn’t discern. All I know is that Jinyoung has his arms around me. He can still find it in himself, in all the pain I didn’t mean to give him, to wrap me up.

His fingers find my hair, trying to give me tenderness when all he wanted was to know that I feel it, to want to make me feel it. His other hand is at my back, squeezing me to him.

“Why did you wait?” My question is a whimper against his shoulder and I want to hook my arms around them, but it still feels too scary. Too terrible to want someone so much.

“I told you. If there was a chance, I would. I told you,” he says, so sure of himself. So unfamiliar, but I know. “So why don’t we just let it go?”

The weight of his arms lifts, but he takes my face in his hands and I search for him as he searches for me. I don’t want to let it go. I don’t want to this to be all that we’re living for.

“I said I’d wait for you to be you,” Jinyoung says with a forlorn smile. It didn’t reach his eyes and neither did mine. “And in the meantime, I’d be me. I thought, Im Jaebum – maybe – I didn’t think. And I forgot you too when I was angry.”

I held his wrists in my hands, allowing myself this selfishness. I let myself need his closeness, to want his tenderness, want his longing for me. I want to wrap him up, want to kiss his lips. I want him to be wanted.

But all too soon, the warmth of his touch leaves my skin. He takes my hands in his, his own fingers twitch before he squeezes mine. “I didn’t come here to change my mind.”

“Even with what we have left?” I ask in spite of my selfish thoughts. “Even when it’s broken?”

“It doesn’t have to be forever,” he answers hoarsely, stopping to clear his throat again. “We aren’t broken; this isn’t your fault. I want you to be you and I’ll still be me and I still want what we have. It was never broken for me. You were never broken to me.”

“Then why did you bring my stuff back?”

He bends down and picks up some of the papers that’d fallen, all creased from folding and covered in ink or pencil shavings, easel stains, oil blots. Jinyoung holds them out and up to me, unfolding them carefully.

“You can’t keep this, these are all things you gave me,” he says defensively, eyes wide and determined. “I didn’t come here to give it all back, I wanted to show you that they’re real. And so are we. And so was this part of you.”

“Then I want to know the part of me that had you.”

Maybe we can’t ever be the same. I don’t think there’s anything in the world that could fix what’s wrong or replace what’s gone. So why shouldn’t we let that go if it means we can start here?

I put my hands at the sides of his neck and I look at Jinyoung the way he has always wanted. He doesn’t dare touch me now and I see his hesitation despite wanting to.

“Can I kiss you?” I ask as he lowers his head to mine. His nose brushes along the length of mine and I can almost taste his warm breath as it fans over my mouth.

He cradles my chin between his knuckles and strokes my cheek with his thumb.

We don’t know if anything is going to be okay. We don’t even know if this could turn out the way we want or if Jinyoung and I would find what we’re hoping to find. I don’t need him to fix me. He cannot whisper the aching in my bones away or lick my wounds to vanish.

Only I can do what I need to do for me, on my own, to live with the scars.

All I know is his kiss, how he says, “I love you” in all the different ways he knows how without making it simple.

All I know is this moment, I cannot say that I don’t remember him when I know this happiness. I know the depth of his love brimming in those glassy eyes that I can’t paint. I know the sound of his laugh as it’s one that’s hard to hear.

He crushes me to him with his hands in my hair and his mouth coaxing mine open. I hear myself whisper his name and feel us both let it go.

[optimizche]

The one where he's in love with his best friend's girlfriend (MT)

Mark Tuan hated himself.

For a wide variety of reasons, he hated himself.

He had done his fair share of foolish things in his life.

Flunked classes. Forgotten to pay his bills. Quit jobs one after another. Spent whatever money he made on exorbitantly priced things that were downright unecessary.

Just last night, he had forgotten to do this week's laundry, which meant that he'd have to wear yesterday's jeans today.

But the worst mistake he had made, was falling in love with you.

Oh god, was he in love with you. Day in and day out, his heart ached for you.

Was it possible to just die of heartache?

Your effect on him was absolute, ever since you had walked into his life.

Whenever you laughed on any of his lame jokes, his heart skipped a beat. He could swear that your laugh was the most melodious sound he had ever heard. No song could ever compare.

He noticed every last detail about you. How, whenever you wore your hair up in a messy bun, you forgot to tuck in a few strands around your face which inevitably came loose to partly shroud your gorgeous face, framing it like a piece of classical art.

How you hated wearing shoes, or even flip-flops at home, preferring to run around barefoot.

How you bit at your lip, chewing at the reddened flesh, everytime you were immersed in a task that required your full concentration. Such as reading a book. And he knew that you almost always preferred to read epic fantasies over sci-fi.

He loved it whenever you hugged him, your body so warm and welcoming against his. The perfume you always wore drove him insane. Jasmine and cedar and honeysuckle.

He loved you.

So much.

So much that it hurt.

But like every love triangle in every romantic comedy, you belonged to someone else.

You belonged to Im Jaebum.

His best friend.

And that was a crippling tragedy for Mark's heart. He could never have you.

You and Jaebum were head over heels in love with each other. The perfect couple, in everyone's love textbooks.

Sickeningly adorable.

Nauseatingly saccharine.

The whole group could see how happy you made Jaebum. How you inspired his music, made him aspire to be his best.

And Mark knew he was being a horrible person for pining and lusting after his friend's girlfriend.

But the heart wanted what it wanted.

And his heart wanted you.

With a heavy heart and an even heavier sigh, he forced himself to get up from bed.

Putting on a random t-shirt that was lying around, he walked out, toward the kitchen. On the hunt for some breakfast. Mindlessly wondering if there was any of last night's pizza left in the fridge, because along with forgetting the laundry, he had also forgotten to buy cereal.

But when he turned the corner, his breath got stuck in his throat.

You were standing there, dressed in Jaebum's old t-shirt, hair piled up in your usual bun. Few strands falling loose.

You were whisking some eggs in a bowl, chopped vegetables and seasonings sitting ready on the countertop. Making omelettes.

Performing even such a mundane task, you looked like a goddamned angel who had descended from Heaven.

And the way you were biting down on your lip while focussed whisking the eggs, it made Mark's stomach somersault.

He didn't know for how long he was standing there, just watching you, but he knew for certain that he could just stand there looking at you forever.

You noticed him, a smile spreading across your face, making his heart feel light and fuzzy. Like hot chocolate.

"Morning, Mark! Would you like some eggs?" you asked him.

He came to his senses, snapping out of his lovesick reverie, when you addressed him.

"Yes, please," he replied, walking over to where you stood, to help you by making some toast.

"Where's Jaebum?" he asked you, a little warily. He didn't want him to barge in right now and interrupt the precious few moments where he had you only to himself.

"He's sleeping," you said, pouring the eggs onto the hot skillet, the resulting sizzle loud and clear.

Stay asleep for a while, Jaebum, Mark mentally willed his slumbering best friend.

Let me be with her for just a while.

[mikmikisnotcrack]

Music Box || Im Jaebum

Fantasy AU: Ghost! Jaebum

▪▪▪

• Your grandmother was a lil weird

• When you were a kid, she always told you weird stuff. A lot of them revolved around one thing though, and that was witchery

• You thought it was really cool that your grandmother told you this witchery stuff, but eventually your parents told you that it was all just fictional.

• It ruined your childhood, but hey, you still thought your grandmother was cool

• But when you grew up, she became weaker and eventually passed away.

• You were absolutely devastated. I mean, who wouldn't? You had a cool grandma who always told you witchy stories and who was by your side whenever you had problems in your life.

• Before she passed though, she had given you a carousel music box that you were told has been around for ages.

• You kept it on your bedside drawer so that you wouldn't feel alone.

• Whenever you stressed about exams, deadlines, your best friend Jackson or work, you always turned to the music box for comfort.

• Though, when you thought it made you feel like you weren't alone

• You didn't think it would actually make you feel less lonely

• Because you sWeAr tO gOd you feel a presence around you ever since you brought the music box into your apartment.

• It could just be you being paranoid because it was your first time being away from your family home

• But legit it felt like someone else was in the room

• You wanted to consider putting it back in your old room back at home, but it has stuck with you for too damn long to NOT be by your side. Besides, it was from your witchy grandma, why would you keep it away from you?

• One night, you were incredibly stressed. Finals were coming up in multiple subjects of yours and it was really hard to balance that with your part time job as a barista.

• On top of that, some professors were so helpful in lessening your stress by giving some paper works due! How fun.

• The night was full of your constant groans of frustration and the sound of paper crumpling.

• It was 2:30 am you wanted to drop the fuck out right there and then as you slammed your head down on the multiple papers scattered on your desk.

• The frustration from the past few days that you bottled up was finally bursting, and now here you were, crying on the bond papers that have been on your desk.

• Until you heard it

• Your music box was fucking playing

• Your head snapped over to your desk where you saw the music box playing. The little gold horses were spinning.

• This shit was something straight out of a horror movie.

• The moment your head left the papers, they all went flying off your desk. You didn't even know how to react because all the windows were closed and your fan wasnt open. You're haunted fOR S U R E

• "You know, you should really take it easy on yourself"

• You whipped your head around but nobody was there.

• Nope nope nope nope

• You pushed away all the papers that remained on your desk, shut your laptop, shut your textbooks, and went straight to your bed, covering yourself with the duvet.

• The music box will not stop playing!!

• You inhaled sharply before you were met face to face with a boy with dark hair and eyes to match.

• You wanted to scream, but you didn't know where your voice fucking went

• "You know, it's really bad to pent up your frustration like that. You should relax"

• "P-Pardon???"

• "You heard me"

• Your eyes were wide as dinner plates. This guy was definately not here when you entered the aprtment

• And this guy was definately not a normal human being!!!

• "Ohhh shit I forgot that humans aren't used to this thing... sorry"

• No shit humans arent used to that thing!! It's not everyday your dead grandma's music box plays in the middle of three am and a ghost throws off your damn paperwork!!!

• "You know what, my stress levels are sky rocketting right now! I'm seeing things!! I should really go to bed!!"

• And with that, you turned to face the opposite way from ghost boy and put the duvet up to your nose.

• Before you completely fell asleep, you heard your papers being fixed and the lamp on your desk turning off.

• "Good night (Y/n)"

• The next morning you woke up a little more refreshed than normal.

• It was a friday, which meant that your classes started a little later than usual.

• You brushed your hair and went to the bathroom to take a quick shower.

• After doing your morning routine and picking out your clothes, you went to the kitchen to make breakfast.

• Except, it was already made for you.

• There in the kitchen, was ghost boy placing the sunny side up egg on the freshly cooked bibimbap

• "Oh, you're awake"

• Proceeds to pour you a cup of coffee in a shameless "stressed, depressed, kpop obsessed" mug

• "Uhhh, y e a h"

• "You should eat up, your finals will be coming up today and you need nutrients to keep your head functioning"

• Places the mug on the bar counter.

• "Well? What are you waiting for? Eat up"

• You reluctantly take a seat on your favorite bar stool and dig into the bibimbap. It was surprisingly reslly good! It tasted exactly...

• "The way your grandma used to make it?"

• "Excuse me???"

• "Oh! Im not a mind reader or anything, it's just that a huge wave of nostalgia just appeared on your face and I just thought that you thought... Yeah, I'm just gonna stop right there"

• You took a sip on the coffee he had made and realised it was exactly how you make it! With a huge amount of creamer and sugar.

• You watched as he leaned on the bar counter and eyed you down.

• "How are you doing that?" You ask

• "Doing what?"

• "You're definately not human, because I know for a fact that I do not have a roommate and you appeared out of no where... Yet here you are, you just cooked breakfast for me AND scared the shit out of me last night"

• "Oohhhh fuck um... Sorry about that. I'm Jaebum by the way"

• You squinted at him as you proceeded to drink your hella good coffee.

• He pulled at the collar of his black hoodie nervously as you eyed him down

• "ANYWAYS! Ghosts that have been around for some time become more powerful, and we learn how to lift objects and do normal mundane shit. Though, not exactly as mundane because we're still technically spirits with no bodies"

• "Interesting..."

• Once you finished your food, he took it from the counter and placed it in the sink while you made your way back to the room.

• You were about to pack your notebooks, but you realised that Jaebum had done it for you.

• Wow, a very helpful ghost!

• "I guess I'll talk to you later???" You say before exiting your apartment.

• "Lmao as if you have a choice on not talking to me"

• Son of a--

• And with that, you leave!

• After another eventful day, you come back home to find Jaebum on the couch eating the honey butter chips that you stored away in your shelf while he watched Strong Woman Do Bong Soon on netflix.

• "Yah, those are my chips!"

• "Woops"

• It was a weekend tomorrow, so you didn't have to worry about any of your shit. Free time for you, yay!

• You dressed up in your favorite t-shirt, a huge hoodie and a pair of shorts and mads your way back to the living room and watched SWDBS with your ghost friend.

• "Soooo Jaebum, why the hell are you here??"

• He pauses the drama before turning to you.

• "Weeellll I may or may not be binded to your music box and I can't go anywhere else"

• "W h y???"

• "Strap in, I'm telling you a longass story"

• So! From what you have found out, Jaebum's mom really liked the music box that she was gifted with during her and her husband's first wedding anniversary. However, that marriage slowly spiralled down into chaos once Jaebum was born.

• When Jaebum grew older, they eventually divorced yet his mother never let go of the love she felt for her husband. Eventually she died, still holding the music box

• Jaebum was surprised that she wasnt the one that haunted the music box

• He swore to himself that he would protect the thing his mother cherished the most and the person who cherished the carousel music box.

• So his mom's best friend's daughter ended up getting the music box after the both of them had died... And that daughter ended up to be one of the ancestors who passed down the music box, until it was handed to you.

• "Soooo you dont have any plans on going, idk, to heaven?? Or hell"

• "yAh I am a good ghostie with good intentions!! Why would I go to hell?!"

• "I dont know!! Just saying!!"

• "I dont know, maybe when you die I'll consider going back to heaven"

• And that is how you got stuck with your ghost friend Jaebum!

[imagination-of-a-melted-bitch]

An Oral Confession {Im Jaebum}

Prompt: Jaebum eating the reader out? I don’t really know lol I’m surprised you answered!!! And can you make it so the reader is younger then jaebum?

Pairing: Jaebum x Reader

Word  Count:

Warning: None~

"You never what?" Jaebum asked, his eyes widening in surprise at your slightly tipsy confession. "You can't be serious..." He shakes his head, looking as you cover your face in embarrassment, your shoulders shaking with laughter. "You're 21 years old, single and beautiful as fuck and you're telling me that no one has ever gone down on you?" You feel your lips tug upward at Jaebum's words, but you nod nonetheless. "Why?" He simply asks, and you shrug,

"I don't know!" You cry, throwing your arms over your head, "I mean I've been with a handful of guys...it's just...they've never gone down on me, they never offered so I never asked," It was simple really, just as simple as what you had just said but Jaebum kept pushing,

"Don't you wonder what it feels like?" You nod your head, looking at your best friend's face and with one glance you can tell he's up to no good. "Maybe I can help..." He trails off, eyes darting over your face for any signs of discomfort.

"Jae I couldn't possibly-" He holds a finger up, softly shushing you,

"We're best friends, isn't this what best friends are for?" You looked at him in depth, his voice was calm but his eyes screamed for you to say yes, it was clear this is something he's wanted for a long time.

"Jae..." You whine, licking your lips, "Are you sure?"

"Yes," He smiles, eyes flickering from yours to your lips, "Come on, you know you can trust me...I won't do anything you don't like, I won't do anything to make you uncomfortable..." You stand up off the couch, walking backward toward his room, "Where are you going?" He furrows his brows,

"We can't do it on the couch, so come on!" You giggle watching Jaebum scramble off the couch and toward you. You turn on your heel, leading the way to his room. You slowly open his door, teasing him. He huffs and pushes the door open all the way, ducking past you into the room.

"You're moving so slow!" He whines but wraps his arms around you, foot kicking the door closed. "This is no way to treat a man who is only trying to help," He mumbles, pressing his lips against yours as he falls against the bed, trapping you beneath him. "I'm not going to waste too much time, just wanted to know what your lips felt like," Jaebum cheekily smiles before pulling the collar of your shirt down, lips attacking your collarbone. You moan at the feeling of his warm lips against your skin, your back arching into his touch. "You're so responsive," He hums, sitting up and back on his haunches watching you with an eager stare. He lifts your shirt and trails his fingers over your stomach, watching in amusement as you mewl, bucking your hips off the bed.

"Can you just get to what we came in here for?" You whine, and Jaebum chuckles,

"That's funny coming from someone who was literally teasing me not even five minutes ago." He pokes at you, hooking his fingers in your leggings, deciding not to be too much of a tease. He stands up to pull them completely off your body, mouth watering when he notices you weren't wearing any panties. "Where'd your panties go?" He laughs, quickly recovering, trying not to sound too affected by the lack of underwear.

"I don't wear panties with leggings, everyone can see them," You explain, unknowingly closing your legs as Jaebum's eyes linger on your glistening core.

"No!" Jaebum barks, hands landing on your knees, slowly opening your legs once again. "Don't hide from me," He kneels at the foot of the bed and pulls you to him so he was leveled with your core. "You don't ever have to hide from me," He whispers, and you sit up on your elbows, watching him with a cautious gaze. "If I'm doing anything wrong or making you uncomfortable in anyway let me know, okay?" You nod your head, feeling yourself grow wetter at his intense gaze. Jaebum brings his hand up and parts your lips, sticking his tongue out and dragging it up your slit.

"Fuck..." You shiver, already losing it and he hadn't even started to do anything yet. Jaebum doesn't have time to be cocky about the situation as he runs his tongue along your slit again, his eyes falling on your face when he wraps his lips around your clit. "Shit!" Your hips buck into his mouth, one hand coming down to push him closer to your core as he begins to suck on the throbbing nub. Your eyes flutter closed and it feels like you're floating. Jaebum wraps your legs around his neck and pushes himself harder against you. He pulls away and takes your core in his mouth, running his tongue up and down your aching slit, stopping every so often to flick the tip of his tongue over your clit, the simple action making you thrust your hips off the mattress. You absolutely lose it when he pushes his tongue into your tight entrance, flicking his tongue upward in an attempt to find your g-spot. He knows he's found it when you trap his head in-between your thighs, letting out a scream of his name. Jaebum chuckles against your core and pulls away when you release him from your hold. "What are you doing?" Your eyes snap open, head snapping down to find him smiling up at you.

"I don't want you to cum too soon or anything..." He says, shrugging, "I also want to give you the full experience," He runs his index finger down your slit and pushes it into your tight hole, his cock jumping at the way your hips lift off the bed to meet his touch, needing more. He slowly pumps that one finger in and out of your walls, trying to stretch your out for his second finger.

"I need more," You plead, "Please, give me another finger," Jaebum complies and pushes his middle finger into your tight walls watching a wave of pleasure wash over your face. "Thank you," You moan, falling flat on the bed, letting Jaebum fuck you with his fingers. He decides to have mercy on you for your first time and leans over you, wrapping his lips around your clit, sucking on the nub once again. "Fuck Jae!" You cry, fingers tugging at his hair, hips rolling into his mouth, "I'm so close," You warn and he begins to suck harder, flicking his tongue faster against your clit. He pushes his fingers harder against your g-spot, his other hand coming up to run under your shirt, to roughly grab your tit, running his thumb over your already pert nipple. Your other hand wraps his wrist nails digging into his skin when your orgasm washed over you. You never thought it'd be possible but this was one of the most powerful orgasms you had ever had, your toes curled, and your skin felt like it was on fire as your eyes fluttered closed. You could do nothing but moan Jaebum's name and rut your hips against his mouth. "Fuck...." You whine, pushing his head away from your core when it had grown to be too much. You miss his pulling his fingers from you to lick the juices from the two digits but not the groan of appreciation at your taste.

"You did so good," Jaebum praises, kissing the insides of your thighs, letting you bask in your high. "So good," He repeats and finds your leggings pulling them back on. Once you've recovered a little, his caring nature subsides and he's back to his usual cocky self. "So, how was it?" You look over at him, your eyes still heavy from the orgasm and from the liquor,

"This wasn't just a one-time thing was it?" Jaebum erupts in laughter, shaking his head,

"Not if you don't want it to be,"

[softforimjaebum]

Ripped Jeans

Im Jaebumx Reader

Word Count: 3.5k

Genre: Thigh Riding Smut

Summary: Jaebum had been thinking about a certain kink all day long, even when he shouldn’t have been

Author’s Note: Send all the holy water y’all have, and drink some yourself. We all need jesus. Inspired by this:

To say that Jaebum was tired when he returned to his dorm after fan meets was an understatement. They would usually meet people all day long, and by the time he was alone in the confines of his shower, he didn’t want anyone to so much as talk to him, not even the rest of the boys.

After that, he would heard straight to bed. Some nights he even skipped dinner because the thought of the muscles in his mouth working made him feel awful.

But tonight, he just couldn’t get his mind off you. He knew this was the worst time seeing as you would probably be cuddled up in bed since he hadn't mentioned meeting you. He had seen the pictures you had so innocently sent him, trying on new dresses that you had bought that day in the few breaks they got during the day and it had somehow driven his thoughts wild.

He knew you didn’t send those pictures to try and tease him, but he couldn’t help it. All he could think for the rest of the day was getting you off. And now here he was, in the shower with the water cascading down his body with a hard on he didn’t want to do anything about. He didn't want anything to do with it if it didn’t involve you. But the problem was, he really did want to do something about it.

Usually, he wouldn’t be so needy. He could get himself off for the night and just meet you the next day to take better care of him. It had been way too long in his honest opinion since he had been able to see you owing to the many promotional events GOT7 had been a part of.

No matter how he tried he could not get this one image out of his head. You, riding his thigh, getting yourself off. He could almost imagine you grinding on his thigh, giving in so easily to his depraved kinks. On second thoughts, he realised you probably had a similar kink anyway. He could imagine your hands pulling at his hair and scratching any skin you could find because he wouldn’t let you get off that easy. It was almost painful to think about teasing you (and teasing himself in the process), but for the life in him, he couldn't stop thinking of it.

He was harshly pulled from his fantasy land by Jinyoung knocking on the bathroom door.

“Jaebum hyung, I need to brush my teeth, why is the door closed?”

He let out a deep sigh, turning the shower off and stepping out to reach for his towel kept on the rack.

“Give me a minute I’ll be right out” he shouted out to Jinyoung.

He dried himself the best he could, and then look at the pair of shorts he had brought with him to wear after his shower. He had made the mistake of bringing basketball shorts of pretty flimsy material, the kind that made it especially difficult to hide a hard on. He sighed again, debating whether to just wear his towel out. It wouldn't help much but it would be better than putting these shorts on and risking Jackson spotting him. He would never let Jaebum live it down.

“Hyung?” Jinyoung called out again

“Coming!” he shouted, sounding a little harsher than he initially intended. He couldn't help but let his temper flare.

Deciding to just go with the towel, he yanked the door open and walked past Jinyoung without a word; if anyone could understand Jaebum’s temper flares, it was Jinyoung. They had known each way too long to not realise the little things about each other.

Walking into his room he was almost glad for Jackson to be fast asleep on his bunk. Because this way, Jaebum had the room quiet and to himself. He had some things to mull over.

Should he just text you to meet him? He knew he couldn’t just go over considering he didn’t know what the situation with your roommate would be like. It wasn’t because your roommate had any hard feelings for him, in fact she loved him and babied him the way you would often baby Yugyeom, but because she hated being disturbed in her sleep. If you and Jaebum had plans she would either borrow your noise cancelling earphones or would shift to Jaebum’s dorm for the time the two of you needed the apartment. But if he decided to just show up unannounced and tease you into screaming his name until it was all you could remember, and mind you he definitely did plan on that, she would kick you both out onto the streets.

Then an idea struck him. Jackson had recently leased a car. He kept complaining about how he couldn't always wait around for the company cars to drive him around and wanted some privacy to himself, and so the company had allowed Jackson to lease a car for the next year to drive around as he pleased. The windows were obviously tinted, and at this ungodly hour, Jaebum could think of a couple of places that would be empty enough to park the car and have his way with you.

He decided to text you, checking if you were even awake.

Are you awake?

Your phone dinged, and you were surprised to see a text from Jaebum. You knew he had a fan meet during the day, the many pictures of GOT7 being, well, GOT7 had made its way onto your Twitter feed. Whenever he had a schedule as busy as today, you didn't expect him to contact you any shape or form. Pre-comeback, mid-promotion, all these times were when you had least contact with him. Not that he didn't make up for it whenever he could. If there was a day when he was just slightly less busy he would show up on your doorstep with takeout and cuddle you into the next morning.

Yes I am, everything okay babe?

You were ever so slightly worried at such a late night text only asking if you were awake. Your mind automatically went into mother mode because everyone knew idol life wasn't easy, and at this hour, everyone tends to overthink. You had just about locked your phone to wait for his reply, expecting a couple of minutes to pass before he did; everyone knew Jaebum wasn't a fast texter. He was quite a grandpa in that way, and truth be told, you could almost swear your grandma actually texted faster than him. However, you were surprised again at how quickly his reply had come.

I’m coming over, wear something easy to take off

OH. You were confused for about five seconds before it dawned on you; this was a booty call. You were still confused about Jaebum actually having enough energy to even text but hey, you weren't complaining. Needy Jaebum was the best Jaebum.

You had ended up just ditching your Stitch pajama bottoms for a plain skirt and about 15 minutes later, Jaebum was calling you asking you to come outside, saying that he had brought Jackson’s car with him.

You rushed out, leaving a note on the breakfast counter for your roommate just in case she woke up and found you gone. You recognised Jackson’s car easily, having helped him select this very one yourself.

Sitting in the passenger side, you greeted Jaebum with a smile, and you could tell by his face he wasn't kidding around. He did, however, lean in to give you a quick kiss on the cheek before starting the car. There were silence between the two of you as he drove, and that wasn’t an uncommon thing for the two of you.

After driving about 20 minutes, Jaebum had brought you to what looked like an empty parking lot where he drove till the very corner of it and parked the car.

He was the first to break the silence, before you could even think of starting a conversation.

“Come here” he said, signalling to his lap and extending an arm towards you.

You quickly undid your seat belt, kicked off your slippers and crawled onto his lap, his arms engulfing you even before you were fully comfortable.

“I really missed you” you whispered while you nuzzled into his neck. You placed a lingering kiss that sent shivers down his body and he slightly pulled your body back.

“Me too”

You could tell he was being honest about his feelings, even though he never used many words to express them.

He took this opportunity to kiss you, soft and lingering at first, teasing you. If there was anything Jaebum loved to do, it was to find new ways of getting under your skin and teasing you. You knew tonight would entail the same, him having come up with something he knew in his heart would drive you mad. His hands were lightly caressing the exposed skin of your thighs, sending goosebumps all over your body.

He continued this until you wanted more than just soft kisses. Your hands went straight to his hair, pulling his face towards yours and he chuckled before deepening the kiss. His hands rested on the curve of your back, starting to slowly move you to grind on him. You lightly clawed at his neck before holding onto it and using that as a leverage to grind a little harder on him.

He could feel it when you started to get into grinding on him, the friction caused being slightly addictive. His hands crawled under your skirt and grabbed a handful of your ass, causing you to lowly moan into the kiss.

He pulled away from the kiss and went straight for your neck. He loved biting as much as you did, and you would probably have a lot of makeup to do in the upcoming days trying to hide the marks he was leaving. He started near your collar bone, slowly making his way up to your ears, his hands still holding onto your ass and maintaining just how fast you could grind on him.

“Ride my thigh” was all he whispered in your ear before pulling away from you completely and sitting back in the seat. He looked at your face, trying to read your expression. And you would be lying if you didn't admit that was one of the hottest things you’d heard Jaebum say, and you’d heard him say a lot of filth to you.

“You kinky little sh-“ you started with a smile before being cut off by a quick kiss from Jaebum, his face mimicking the smile on yours.

“Don’t even try to act as if you don’t love the idea already” Jaebum said, his eyes eager to see you do what he asked.

Well, he did have you there.

You got up on your knees and slightly repositioned yourself; the huge seats in Jackson’s SUV coming in extremely handy as you put both of your knees on either side of his thigh. This is when you noticed what he was wearing; he wore the same jeans as the ones he had worn earlier in the day at the fan meet, the extremely distressed jeans. He had only bothered to change his shirt, now wearing a plain black shirt that clung to his broad shoulders for life. The very thought of grinding on his ripped jeans made you moan.

Noticing this, Jaebum put both his arms on your waist and pulled you down to sit on his thigh, hurrying you along. Once seated you were slightly unsure of how to go about his request, but started grinding on his thigh like you had been before.

It felt a lot different though, the feeling of the distressed material of his jeans rubbing against you through your panties was delicious. You rolled your hips slowly, treasuring the new found friction, getting used to it.

Jaebum, on the other hand, had other ideas. He wanted to push you to the edge and then keep you there, just begging for his mercy. His hands gripped your waist tighter, making you grind a little harder on his thigh. He could feel the material of your panties on the skin that was exposed and as much as he liked it, he wanted to feel just how wet you were, he wanted damp spots on his jeans by the time he was done.

Lifting you up a little, his hands reached under your skirt and towards the waistband of your panties, tugging them down quickly. Not knowing how to exactly take them off all the way, he thought it would just be easier to rip them, seeing as the lacy material wasn't that strong anyway. As soon as you heard the material rip, you looked at Jaebum wide-eyed, and only slightly disapproving. You didn't have time to voice your disappointment though since as soon as your panties were gone, he brought you back down on his thigh and the feeling of the rough material of jeans right on your clit drove you wild.

“Fuck, Jae, that feels so good”

You were a moaning mess and his lips were everywhere on you, sucking marks on your neck before moving downwards and biting the supple skin of your chest. He managed to unclasp your bra and kneaded your breasts before pinching one of your nipples, making you cry out above him.

One of your hands is in his hair, pulling every time he gives you little bouts of pain and the other one is holding onto his shoulders for support. You grind on his thigh faster, and that is when one of his hands moves to your hair, yanking your head backwards, making you look directly at him.

“Look at yourself, riding my thigh in Jackson’s car in a fucking parking lot. You know anyone could see you like this right now, and I bet you wouldn’t even care would you?”

All you could do was whimper. The fucking mouth on this boy was pure filth and he knew too well that you loved it.

“I can fucking feel how wet you are you know? Just like that baby, keep grinding on me”

He held your eyes as you kept grinding on him, dangerously close to your release. And he could tell because the next words he said almost made you cum.

“I can feel how desperate you are to cum, but don’t you dare do it until you’ve soaked that spot on my jeans” he said, pointing to where you were grinding on him.

“Jae” you whispered, your own voice sounding broken and raw. “I can’t, its too much”

The harshness of his jeans was too much to bear, and to not cum while grinding on it even worse.

But Jaebum wasn’t having any of it, he just shook his head no, making you whine in protest.

Deciding to distract you, he grabbed your hand and placed it on top of his clothed cock.

“Can you feel that? How fucking hard you make me? Just seeing you this needy to cum, fuck baby, its so hot”

“Jae that isn’t helping”

“Oh well” he smiled at you momentarily, the purest smile one could imagine, before you rubbed him over his jeans making him throw his head back and moan.

At this point, you could feel the mess that you had made on thigh, and Jaebum still had no mind of letting you finish.

“Please jae, please fuck”

“Don’t you dare cum” he said, gripping your waist and stopping you from moving at all.

After a little while, when he was sure you had calmed down, he started moving you again. He was controlling the pace, and you were happy to let him because there was no way you could think straight enough to even ride him properly. Just as you were close again, he made stopped moving you again. And again, and again. He kept doing this until you were so close to the edge that you could start crying at how frustrated you were at being denied your orgasm so many times.

“Such a good girl for me aren’t you?” he smirked at you as you tried to catch your breath when he stopped you again.

In response, you dug your nails into the skin of his neck that you had been holding onto.

“Oh hurting me isn’t going to make this any better for you baby” he said in a mockingly sweet voice.

“Please Jaebum” you managed to say, knowing fully well how needy you sounded and just how badly that got him off. He loved to see you as desperate for him as possible.

“Okay, make yourself cum” he said, completely letting go of you and leaning back.

You stared at him in surprise, you really didn't think you could move on your own.

“Come on, be a good girl and let me watch you get off just riding my thighs”

Placing your hands on his chest for support, you started moving; slowly at first, and gradually picking up pace as he kept on whispering how dirty you were for him, how it made him so hard seeing you like this.

His jeans surely had a soaked patch by now, but that didn’t help how rough they were, and it was making things even more difficult for you to get off. Sensing this, Jaebum took two fingers and slid them right along your clit. Letting you grind on his fingers instead of the rough jeans.

“Jae-“ you started to warm him that you were close when you were cut off by him suddenly putting his fingers inside you; catching you completely off guard and in the process pushing you into your impending orgasm.

You cum around his fingers, still rutting again his palms, trying to make your orgasm last as long as possible, your hands gripping his shirt tightly. He just sits there looking at you, making a mess of yourself. Saying he was hard was an understatement by now, but looking at you cumming almost made him cum in his pants.

When you were too sensitive for his hands to be on you, you lazily brought your hands down to his wrist and pushed it slightly. He complied, and slowly withdrew his fingers from you, careful to not make any sudden movements to hurt you.

Your eyes were closed, too busy catching your breath when you heard a low moan from Jaebum and your eyes shot up to his. He was looking down and following his gaze down you realised he had undone his zipper and pulled his cock out, that he was now stroking. With the same hand that had helped you with your orgasm. You had to admit that was the hottest sight you had seen, seeing Jaebum getting himself off.

And that sight itself turned you on, and you wanted to help him. You had an easy idea to do both of those things at once.

To draw his attention back to you, you slowly rolled your hips on his thighs once again, and his eyes were quickly back on yours. You smiled at him, and leaned in to kiss him.

“So hard for me baby” you said, still grinding steadily on him, the oversensitivity long forgotten. You placed your head near his ears and continued, “You look so hot like this, Jae”. You let one of your thumb swipe over the head of cock, collecting all the pre-cum that was leaking from his cock.

“Making such a mess for me” you said, leaning back and putting that thumb in your mouth, sucking and licking it as you would to his cock.

Jaebum whimpered at this, and it made your inside twist. You wanted to hear that noise over and over again.

You rolled your hips faster on him, noticing his hand picking up pace too.

Your orgasm was approaching fast, owing to how sensitive you were and you did want to finish until you saw Jaebum finishing first.

“Jaebum, I can’t cum unless I get to see you cum first baby”

He was a mess, hearing you talk to him like this was a first, but it turned him on beyond belief and as soon as you said those words, he was done for. With one last stroke of his hand, he was cumming all over his shirt, moaning your name and writhing beneath you.

It was a sight to behold really, Jaebum’s face contouring in pleasure, his voice thick with need. It propelled you towards your own orgasm, your eyes seeing stars as you shut them tightly. To say that you were both a wreck, you more so than him, would be pretty accurate. Either of you could really move, just holding each other until your breathing returned to normal.

That’s when Jaebum reached towards the tissues kept in the dashboard of the car, and wiped both of you clean. Once he was done, he carefully lifted you up and you plopped down on the passenger seat. When Jaebum tried to pull away from you, you just whined and held onto his neck tighter. You weren't ready to have him leave just yet.

He chuckled at you before saying “Let’s get you home baby, you can cuddle with me there”

[ahgaseda]

pray | one

you are more than my existence, please listen to my prayer, hold me, tell me about myself, call my name so I can know who I am...

summary : everyone knows of the unspeakable evil that lives on the mountain, but you willingly sacrifice yourself to the demon named Jaebeom, as long as he takes you far away from the monster waiting for you at home.

warnings : strong profanity, explicit dialogue, instances of blood and violence, graphic sexual content, black magic themes, potentially triggering elements that involve mentions of past child abuse, mental health, etc.

miniseries chapters : one / two / three / four / five / six / seven

A demon lived in the shadow of the mountain. That was the legend you were always told. Each time as a restless child you wandered toward the woods, your mother - aware that scolding held little effect on you - would try to instill some sense of terror instead.

“The demon will catch you and drag you away,” she would say, voice a high shrill.

I wish he would, you often told yourself.

There were days you sat for hours on end, gazing into the darkness of the forest. You imagined wraiths and monsters and any other deadly creature that could devour you without consequence.

You wanted to be devoured. It was the closest to salvation from your father you would ever find.

It went without saying you had no friends. You were the strange little girl that would rather chase butterflies and climb trees, always lingering dangerously close to the forest’s border.

“She wants to dance with the demon,” other children would tease in a jeering song.

You paid them no mind. The woods enraptured you, beckoned you within her boughs. You would cup a hand to your mouth and send out a call, wordless notes that your soft voice would carry into the shadows. The woods would sigh, caressing you with wisps of wind that let you know your calls were heard.

Stamping your little bare feet, you would gather courage to enter. It was forbidden to enter the accursed forest, where black magic was known to breed. Though you considered yourself brave, you feared the punishments that would follow if you were caught. And for that reason alone, you returned home every time.

Not until you woke on a rainy day to find your mother gone were you finally driven to enter. Without her, there was no one to protect you. She had left you alone and defenseless with a man that drank away his sorrows. In your young mind, you didn’t blame her for saving herself, but you would resent her for it for the rest of your life.

Bare feet plodded across the fields. The kids threw rocks cruelly at you when you passed by, but you were much too fast. You heard their words, full of hatred and scorn, and kept running.

You reached the border, a small child staring into the gaping maw of the black forest. Survival pulsed through your veins. In that moment, you decided whatever lived inside the forest was far less dangerous than the man outside it.

“Please,” you whispered, hands clasped before you in prayer. “Grant me safe passage.”

Then, you stepped inside.

The first thing you noticed was the softness of the ground beneath your feet. The fields had been rough and coarse against your soles, but even now, something cooled your broken skin. You looked around in curious awe, the smallest rays of light piercing through the canopy overhead. When the mist hit the rays of light just right, little rainbows appeared in their wake.

You reached out, touching one of the trees. Dainty pink flowers grew from its bark, winding between your fingers. You giggled, marveling the buds and their tiny leaves. Birds alighted on every branch to chirp curiously at your presence.

Further in, you continued, turning in a circle as you walked, just to make sure you didn’t miss a single sight. It was like nothing you had ever seen or even dreamt of in your wild imagination.

Suddenly, the air cooled. The wind rushed. You rubbed your arms as your breath appeared like smoke. The birds disappeared into the heights of the trees.

You came to a stop, listening to the loud beating of wings. It sounded like a bird, a thousand fold.

The boy alighted before you, wings rustling at his shoulders.

You could hardly believe your eyes, mouth opening in shock. Surely before you stood a boy, no much older than yourself, but the similarities were few. Enormous black wings arched above his shoulders, still shifting as the boy levelled his gaze at you harshly.

“Why are you here?” he asked with impatience.

Your attention had landed on the dark curved horns sprouting from the top of his skull, then drifted to his skin. He wore no shirt, only trousers. You could imagine what a hassle pulling a shirt on over wings would be, but you moved your interest to the black ink in his flesh. He was covered in script from neck to fingers and everything in between, etched with a language you would never hope to understand.

“What are you?” you asked with a child’s naivety.

The boy tilted his head. “What do I look like?” he replied, almost menacingly.

The little fear you had promptly evaporated. Your lips parted in a wide grin and you giggled, exclaiming, “You’re a fairy!”

The boy’s brows stitched and the most incredulous frown took over his face. “A… fairy?” he exclaimed in disgust.

You raced forward, colliding into him and wrapping your arms around his bare waist. “I prayed to the woods for safe passage and she sent you to protect me!”

The boy grasped your arms and attempted to pry you off, adamant. “I’m not protecting you.”

“Of course, you are,” you said with glee, pulling your head back from his chest to peer up at his face. “The woods said so.”

Surly, he wrinkled his nose and barked, “I don’t listen to trees.”

You let your hands fall from his body, taking a step back. “Everyone knows there’s magic in this forest.”

Of all the creatures you expected to find, he was the last possibility. A child much like you, despite wings and horns and a host of tattoos in his skin. You marveled the script on his chest, but you knew it would be quite rude to ask for a translation at the moment.

“Dark magic,” he corrected sternly, striding forward and waving his hand. “Come with me.”

You watched him walk past you and didn’t hesitate to do as told. You followed the short-tempered boy back to the border, eyes on his long wings as you trodded behind him.

He pointed at the forest’s edge and cocked his head, clearly motioning for you to take your leave. “Now, go,” he snapped.

You turned sulky. “Can’t I stay a little longer?”

“No,” the boy replied without missing a beat.

You puffed up your cheeks and began to pout.

The winged boy furrowed his brow and asked, “What are you doing?”

You stomped your feet and grasped his wrist between your hands, tugging on his arm. “Let me stay!”

“You humans are strange,” he murmured under his breath.

You released his hand and broke into a sprint, breezing past him and toward the deep shadows of the forest. The boy rolled his eyes at your attempt of escaping him.

You didn’t get far and you gasped aloud when the boy appeared from overhead and landed squarely in front of you. It was hard to stop considering how fast you were going and you smacked against his hard chest, falling backwards onto the ground with a thud.

“Clumsy things,” he sighed, pretending to brush dirt from his shoulder.

You got to your feet, dusting off your legs, and looked up at him with amusement. “What is your name?”

“Jaebeom,” he replied, surprised at himself for being so forthcoming.

You gave him your name, though he did not ask for it.

“Mm,” was all Jaebeom said. Then, he turned and proceeded to walk away.

You trailed behind him and surveyed his wings again, finding them astounding in every aspect of the word. “How far can you fly?”

“Far.”

“How high?” you pressed.

“High.”

You scowled at him, finally getting irritated at his curt replies, and asked, “You don’t have many friends, do you?”

Jaebeom blinked, turning to you confusedly. As if your question had completely thrown him off balance.

“You seem like you don’t know how to have a conversation,” you explained, softening at his expression.

“There’s never been a need,” he replied sadly.

Your heart ached at that. It was a feeling you knew all too well. “I can be your friend, if you like,” you offered sweetly. “Your first friend!” At that, you extended your arm.

Jaebeom glanced down at your outstretched hand, clearly unimpressed.

You smiled with delight when he finally shook your hand. Even among his kind, the gesture was recognized.

Jaebeom shrugged, hiding his interest. “What do friends do?”

“Well,” you began, moving to his side as he continued to walk between the trees. “We talk and play and tell each other stories. We ask about each other’s day and…”

By the time night fell, you managed to draw the faintest of smiles from Jaebeom. And there was no way in hell you weren’t going to bring loud attention to it.

Pointing at his face, you exclaimed, “You smiled!”

He gawked and quickly deadpanned, “I did not.”

“I made you smile!”

Jaebeom rolled his eyes and deflected, “I’m only smiling because it’s nighttime now and that means it’s finally time for you to leave.”

You chuckled at his dryness, knowing by the aforementioned smile he had grown to enjoy your company. “Next time I’ll make you laugh,” you told him with a mischievous grin. “Just you wait and see.”

Jaebeom, who had been looking down at his feet pensively, reared his head up in surprise. “Next time?”

“Bye, Jaebeom-ie,” you called with a wave, stepping through the opening in the forest’s edge. “Thank you for making me forget how sad I was.”

Jaebeom’s face softened and his eyes burned with the threat of tears. “You were sad?”

But you had already run far enough not to hear him. Your heart was swelling, feeling joy for the first time in such a long time. This day, a day you swore would be the worst in your life, had become the best because of a winged boy named Jaebeom.

Jaebeom felt an ache in his chest. For the hours you spent with him inside the woods, you had been sad and yet you spent all of your energy simply trying to get a smile out of him. Jaebeom wanted to find whatever - or whoever - had made you sad and remove them from the face of the earth forever.

“Until next time, cheonsa,” he spoke softly before turning back to the dark loneliness of the forest and vanishing inside.

You could barely sleep. You thought endlessly of your new friend - your only friend. You told no one about him. Not that you had anyone you would want to tell.

Slipping into the woods became your happiness. You spent any possible hour hidden away among the trees. Jaebeom always sensed your return, as if the forest eagerly told him, and would join you within seconds of your entering. After a few months, you began to assume he waited near the border for you.

Together, you and Jaebeom grew from clumsy children to blossoming teenagers. Jaebeom was the first to notice the change. Suddenly, he was nervous to rough and tumble with you as he usually did. You were quite disappointed at not wrestling in the mud with him anymore, but to him, it seemed overnight you began smelling too good.

Though Jaebeom always playfully teased you, soon he was too awkward to do so. And you noticed how you began to win most of the rounds of verbal sparring. As you grew, your body changed shape. Feminine curves reminded Jaebeom you were becoming a woman and he was becoming a man.

Teasing turned to flirtation, which was dangerous. Jaebeom could tell you were receptive to his little touches and his occasional hungry remarks. He rebuked himself for not being more careful, for letting friendship drift too close to romance. Sadly, Jaebeom knew he could no longer prolong the inevitable.

On the morn of your seventeenth birthday, you escaped into the forest like any other day.

As you stepped inside her borders, you rubbed at tears with a rough hand. It had been torture at home. You were facing a fate worse than death in your eyes. Careful to never let Jaebeom see you cry, you dabbed at your wet cheeks with the sleeves of your dress.

Little did you know, Jaebeom perched in the tree above. His blood boiled. Someone had hurt you and on your birthday no less. He was angry, but stifled the rage for your sake.

Jaebeom descended before you as he always did. After years in his company, you never gasped in surprise when he landed just shy of you.

Flashing a smile, you greeted, “Good morning.”

“Is it?” he questioned, never giving an inch.

You shifted nervously and watched him move closer. “I’m a woman now,” you finally spoke, fighting back tears. “They have discussed selling me to a princeling or a lord. Some nonsense about me being beautiful.”

“Total nonsense,” Jaebeom retorted, trying to make you smile. Though the news made all the blood drain from his face.

“It’s strange,” you mulled softly. “Being sold like a broodmare. I’ve never felt more like an animal than I do today.”

Jaebeom grit his teeth. Fire licked across his skin.

Wrapping your arms around yourself, your voice trembled, “My aunt told me today that the first few times will be unpleasant. More than likely, the man who buys my hand in marriage will not care about my comfort.”

Jaebeom wanted to snap any man in half that hurt you and he snarled, “Why are we talking about this?”

“Oh,” you said, flushing with embarrassment. “I-I’m sorry. I was… thinking out loud, I suppose.”

Jaebeom regretted the harshness of his words. Clearly you were scared and he could do nothing to comfort you.

You spent the day with your only friend in somber, peaceful quiet. Jaebeom took you to all of your favorite places. The river to feed the koi, with their glistening scales of every shade of every color amongst the lily pads. The winding trees to see the newly hatched crop of vibrant parrots followed.

Even the rare red stag came to greet you, allowing your hand to touch his snout. You were hard pressed to find a creature as beautiful. You always gaped at him in awe.

Jaebeom’s eyes were on you, never wavering. He knew you would assume the visits to your favorite reaches of the forest would be in celebration of your birthday. Not in a final farewell.

He was letting you say goodbye.

When the sun began to set, Jaebeom led you to the border. You almost made him drag you.

“I… have a present for you,” Jaebeom finally said, rifling in his back pocket.

“Jaebeom,” you sighed. “I told you that wasn’t necessary.”

“Well, you told me that after I started making it so…,” he countered in feigned scolding. “I didn’t want it to go to waste. That’s all.”

You snickered. He was always deflecting and you expected nothing less.

Jaebeom wasn’t the only one who had noticed the changes in your bodies. You were well aware of the broad expanse of his chest, the bulging muscles of his arms, and the chiseled lines of his stomach. There were many times you had to resist the urge to slip into his arms. You wanted to feel the heat of his body against yours. It was maddening; the warmth that emanated from him.

Jaebeom finally handed you the tiny box, snapping you from your reverie.

Your heart fluttered. Tears pricked at your eyes before you had even opened it. Lowering your head bashfully, you whispered, “I can’t remember the last time someone gave me a gift.”

That wounded him deeply, though his expression stayed neutral. “Happy birthday, cheonsa,” was all Jaebeom said.

You could hardly believe your eyes as they blurred with tears. Inside the box was a ring. The dark stone was held by gleaming silver, small strands twisting like the roots of trees to hold the gem securely in its center.

“Jae…,” you breathed, lost for words. “It’s…”

“It’s a black diamond,” he explained anxiously. “They are supposedly very rare. Like you.”

You pulled the ring from the box, slipping it on your finger slowly. Were you even worthy to wear something of such value?

“You don’t like it,” Jaebeom groaned at your silence. “I should have known it was too dark. I can try to find something else.”

“Stop,” you replied, peering up at him as the tears escaped and rolled down your cheeks. “It’s beautiful.”

He was thrown by your emotion. “You’re sure?”

You wiggled your fingers, staring at the gift with affection, and whispered, “Never in my life have I seen something so beautiful.”

“I have,” Jaebeom blurted, immediately biting his tongue.

The admission was lost on you. “Thank you.”

He smiled. “You’re welcome.”

“I will cherish it forever.”

Jaebeom held up a finger. “One last present.”

“Jaebeom,” you started.

Before you could argue, Jaebeom swooped you in his arms and beat his great wings. You cried out in surprise, wrapping your arms around his shoulders as you were carried higher and higher into the air.

The trees hummed, branches moving from his path as Jaebeom ascended even further. He had never flown with you before. Jaebeom knew he would have to be full grown before he could carry another person with his wings. Now, he was at the cusp of adulthood and to him, this would be his only chance to let you feel flight.

The two of you appeared in the canopy. You clinged to Jaebeom desperately, panting hard on his neck.

“Open your eyes, silly girl,” he teased, coming to sit at the summit of a tree and holding you securely in his lap.

You listened to the familiar sound of his wings relaxing, folding to his back dutifully. The air wisped past your ears and tasted crisp on your tongue. You had never been this high in your life, no matter how many trees you climbed in your youth.

Opening your eyes, fresh tears streamed down your cheeks.

The forest continued for miles and miles, stretching past what your vision could see. The horizon was endless. But at the center of your gaze was the ever-looming mountain. Its heights were hidden in the clouds.

“I never knew,” you stammered. “It’s such a big world.”

Jaebeom chuckled, his eyes on your face filled with such wonder. The sun’s rays reflected in your glistening eyes. Jaebeom knew in that moment he was hopelessly enamored.

You would never know the pain he endured for your sake. He could not survive in the sun. Even as he held you while the sunset splashed the sky with her colors, the sun punished him. The ink scrawled across his skin burned.

But he swore it was worth it to see the sky painted in your eyes.

You heard your name on his tongue and turned to meet his gaze, surprised above everything else when his lips touched yours.

Jaebeom had kissed you before, but nothing like this. Yes, his lips had graced your cheek or the corner of your mouth, and many times you pressed your lips to his brow or nose in playful flirting.

Nothing like this.

The surprise faded and you let your eyes flutter closed. Less afraid, you released your vice grip on his shoulders and slid your fingers into his dark hair, deepening the kiss.

Jaebeom lit a fire inside your soul, coaxing it to the surface with his heated kisses. You moaned softly at the push and pull of his hands kneading your back. The sound brought Jaebeom back to reality and without warning, he fell backwards, tumbling back through the canopy with you in his arms.

You yelled at first, terrified at the sensation of free-falling, but quieting when you remembered the man who held you could fly. His wings unraveled and punished the air with powerful beats, allowing Jaebeom to alight on a branch.

Jaebeom kept his hands on your waist, letting you regain your balance, and grunted when you melded your lips back on his. You tugged on his hair, hungry for the fire he made race through your veins. Jaebeom smirked darkly against your mouth, flicking his tongue between your lips.

Then, he remembered what he had to do.

When Jaebeom broke away, you swayed where you stood, steadied only by his rough hands around your waist, coaxing up and down your lower back. Had you known kissing was such a rush, you would have kissed him a long time ago.

Your eyes met and you giggled, bashful. Jaebeom lowered his head, hiding a smug grin, hair falling in his face.

“Please,” you sighed breathlessly. “Keep kissing me.”

Without another word, Jaebeom stepped from the branch with you in his clutches, using a single beat from his wings to land gracefully on the ground. His eyes burned into yours and the forest suddenly felt undeniably warmer.

Jaebeom lay you on a soft bed of grass, propping himself over you and kissing you tenderly. You were aware of his body on yours, how he had made himself comfortable between your thighs.

And you were content to kiss him for an eternity.

The playful teasing was long gone. The air was thicker. This was a mood you had never felt. This was intimacy, raw and unbridled. You were in the arms of the boy you loved and the only person you trusted.

With your fingers tangled in his long hair, you kept him trapped to you, humming softly at his lips melding with yours. You slipped your hands down his chest, tracing your nails over the endless ink scribbled expertly in his skin, and moved to grip his shoulders. Your touch wandered closer to his wings, feeling where the joints connected to his back.

The moment you touched their bases, the wings came alive at your touch, fanning and stretching overhead and rustling with excitement. You suddenly felt that no one had ever touched Jaebeom’s wings and the act itself was considered an intimate one. Jaebeom kissed you even harder, darting out his tongue to rub along your lip.

Jaebeom palmed your breast and your breath hitched. He broke the kiss to look into your eyes, assuring himself you were alright with his touch. You didn’t hesitate to grab his hand, steering it lower to the hem of your blouse and guiding him underneath to your bare skin.

You moaned softly when his hand settled on your naked breast. Jaebeom kneaded and caressed, rubbing his thumb over your nipple. His lips broke from yours and brushed over your jaw. When you felt his mouth on your neck, you arched into his touch and locked your ankles behind his back.

Something was happening between your legs - a tugging ache you had never felt before.

“Jaebeom,” you sighed, squirming beneath him. His kisses on your neck were making you crazy, filled with a need completely new to you.

You succumbed to the way he made your pulse race, undulating beneath him and roaming your hands restlessly across his body. His skin felt hot, scalding against your fingertips, like he was burning alive and you were to blame.

“I, um,” you hesitated, clearing your throat. “What if we…”

Jaebeom sucked beneath your ear and hummed, “Hm?”

You blinked, heart thundering against your ribs. “Can I give myself to you?”

Jaebeom’s eyes flickered at the thought, but his voice was firm against your neck. “No.”

Your heart sank, surprise sharply fading into disappointment. “But if I do, then they can’t sell it.”

Jaebeom met your gaze, nuzzling your nose with his own, and spoke sadly, “I can’t.”

You peered up at him through the haze, through the warmth the two of you had begun to make together. Questions and pleas raced through your mind, but all you could bring yourself to ask was, “Why?”

“It’s different for my kind,” Jaebeom explained, pupils dilated wide. “It means more to us.”

That stung and you did nothing to hide it. Lips trembling, you cried, “And it means nothing to me?”

“That’s not what I meant,” Jaebeom said hurriedly, shaking his head and causing more hair to stray into his face.

You looked away, resisting the overwhelming urge to cry. You weren’t worthy of him. He didn’t say it, but that was how you felt.

Jaebeom felt you unhook your ankles and let your legs slip from his hips, and he knew he had made a mistake. He never was good at wording things properly.

He gazed down at you with longing, realizing the position he was in; you on your back beneath him, him laying between your thighs. Heaven knew he wanted you more than anything. He had never desired another person before in his life. Only you, for as long as he could remember.

But he couldn’t make love to you. If he did, he would belong to you forever.

Jaebeom sat up, lifting you with him. You pulled away from him once on steady footing and Jaebeom rubbed his thumb across your bottom lip. You lowered your head, nervous.

“I’m sorry, cheonsa,” he whispered. Jaebeom wanted to fall to his knees and beg your forgiveness. Here he was, desiring nothing more than to destroy any man who hurt you and yet he had cut you deep.

“Don’t be sorry,” you quickly told him, putting on a brave face. “I wasn’t thinking.”

Jaebeom knew that was a lie, but he didn’t challenge you. He cocked his head toward the border and you gave him a nod, dragging your feet as you followed.

Heading toward the forest edge, you turned back to him and asked, “See you tomorrow?”

Jaebeom grit his teeth, pushing down the surge of emotions threatening to crush him. “No.”

You blinked in surprise.

“Don’t come back here again unless you plan to stay.”

You couldn’t believe your ears. Your heart vanished somewhere in your stomach. “What? Why?” you exclaimed. This had to have been nothing more than a cruel joke.

“When I reach full maturity, I have to take a bride,” said Jaebeom, avoiding your eyes.

“Jaebeom, you will never reach maturity,” you teased, trying to alleviate the sudden tension with humor.

Jaebeom tightened his hands into fists and forced the words out, “I’m serious. And if you’re the one that comes, then I will have no choice but to take you.”

You stepped away from the path, rounding on him squarely. Only a moment ago, you had willingly offered yourself to him. You had never felt so bemused and out of place. “Why is that a bad thing?”

“Because you deserve more,” he murmured, pained. “You deserve a life in the light. Not trapped in my darkness or my curse.”

Your face tensed with oncoming tears when you realized what all of this meant. You were being cast out from the woods and Jaebeom had not taken you, because he was saving himself for someone else. “I would rather be trapped in your curse than mine,” you countered, resistant.

Jaebeom shook his head and huffed, “He’s not a curse. You can escape him. Make a life for yourself. The simple life you’ve always wanted.”

Your lips trembled and you felt yourself breaking when you said, “With a man that hurts me?”

Your voice almost made him come undone. Jaebeom had sworn never to disappoint you. For years he wondered if you would be the one he chose to take when the time came, but after seeing you beneath the sun, he knew he couldn’t condemn you to an eternity in the shadows.

“Don’t try to change my mind,” he snapped.

You bristled with anger and shot back, “Why not? You want me to make a life for myself. Well, the life I want is with you.”

Jaebeom threw up his hands and angled away, resolve crumbling. “You don’t even understand what that means,” he shouted bitterly.

You had never confessed your feelings to him. Jaebeom was a vault, but you could feel him slipping away from you forever. “I understand that I love…,” you began shakily.

Jaebeom was on you then, covering your mouth with his hand. His eyes were scalding, filled with tears. “Don’t say it. You have no idea what I am and what I will become. You have always seen me as something good and kind, but I’m not. I’m far from it.”

You pulled his hand away, showing him no fear with how he had backed you against a tree, and said, “You’re a demon.”

Jaebeom blinked.

“I’ve known all along,” you told him. “My people tell tales of your kind. Demons live in the shadow of this mountain. It is why the forest is forbidden. Dark magic breeds here. The elders sing songs of the winged men that steal away the most beautiful of mortal women.”

Jaebeom backed away, surprised. “You knew?”

“Yes.”

Jaebeom’s face tensed with confusion. “And still you kept coming back here?”

“I’m not afraid of you,” you whispered, carding your fingers into his black hair. “I’m afraid of them.”

Jaebeom gathered you back in his arms and leaned his head against yours, eyes filled with tears. He was in physical agony. He couldn’t imagine being parted from your warmth for even a moment. All this time you knew what he was and yet you never feared him, never rebuked him for the monster that he was and would always be.

Then, he said, “Go.”

When his arms slipped from your body, you clutched him to you tighter and whimpered, “Jaebeom, you’re the only happiness in my life.”

“I mean it,” he hissed, spitting your name like venom. “Get out.”

You could do nothing when he pried you from him, pushing you backwards just enough to put distance between the two of you. The air turned cold. Winter had come in the fraction of a second. The forest seemed to shroud, cloaking itself in darkness.

“No, Jaebeom,” you shouted, planting your feet. “I know you love me.”

Jaebeom lowered his head, hiding his face and displaying his horns in aggression. Wings outstretched above him and the woods howled a piercing cry that made your blood run cold. He slightly lifted his hands, bold with ebony symbols and script, and thorns began to grow.

Rebellion filled you, but you were powerless. You wanted to defy him, but you staggered back, the darkness and thorns threatening to devour you. With one last look at the demon you loved, you turned and ran.

The shadow never stopped. It spilled over everything like ink. The thorns billowed and spread. You ran until you gasped for air, until your muscles ached. By the time you reached the edge of the forest, you landed on the grass with a thud, panting desperately for breath. The thorns swarmed between the trees, twisting and tangling with vines. You watched in horror as they finally stilled.

Rising to your feet, you approached the woods, placing your hand on the prickly stalks. There was no place for you to fit through. It was sealed away. Up and down you scurried along the border, looking for a weak spot. Even just a tiny place you could crawl inside.

There was none.

Tears fell down your face. You raked your hands through your hair, pulling the disheveled mess from your eyes, and screamed at the top of your lungs, “I hate you!”

The forest groaned.

You charged forward and pushed at branches, tore at the leaves. You clawed at whatever you could reach, trying to forge a path inside, and all the while you chanted bitterly, “I hate you! I hate you!”

Somewhere in the forest’s midst, Jaebeom crouched on the rough expanse of a branch, seated limply with his head hung low in shame. His wings lay at his side, lifeless and unmoving. The woods had never felt so cold then, so devoid of magic.

Your voice echoed. Those three words were a constant song in his ears, vowing to haunt him till the end of his days.

Not until the moon came to its full height overhead did you accept defeat. Dragging your feet home, you gazed at your bloodied, tattered hands. Wishing to avoid questions, you hurried to the nearest stream to wash yourself.

As you submerged your aching hands into the gentle waters, you heard the faintest of whispers in your ear. Unnerved, you stood sharply, looking around for who had spoken. Then, you cast your eyes down and gasped. Your hands had healed. Only small, faded scars were left in your flesh.

Smiling ever so softly, you turned to the looming forest in the distance. No matter what Jaebeom had said or done, the woods still loved you.

But still you cried yourself to sleep. You cried till you could shed no more tears. Slipping the ring from your finger, the only gift you had ever been given, you clutched it tightly in your fist and cradled your hands to your chest protectively.

For a moment, you had tasted magic and known what it was like to be safe and loved.

And as quickly as it came, it was taken away.

next chapter →

Hey there, beautiful! If you enjoyed this, please leave a like or reblog or follow me! Or maybe buy me a coffee so I can keep writing? Or check out my masterlist here for more stories! Thanks for reading :) - Katya

This work is fictional and for entertainment purposes only, but is licensed and protected under a creative commons attribution-noncommercial-noderivatives 4.0 international license. Any instances of plagiarism will be dealt with accordingly. Do not re-post or translate without my permission.

{ copyright 2018-2020 © ahgaseda // all rights reserved }

[yiensaintlaurent]

00 | the other side - mark tuan

pairing: mark tuan x reader

genre: angst, smut, idol! got7, idol! reader

warnings: cursing, explicit sex, takes place in present time with minor flashbacks

summary: mark knew it was game over the minute he saw you. despite being apart from each other for so long, no amount of practice in front of the mirror would've prepared him for the way his heart dropped the moment he saw you walk in. he'd forgotten about the hold you had on him, you; the love of his life, the one that got away.

character preface

mark tuan :

male

age: 29

birthday: september 4, 1993

currently living in arcadia, la county, california, u.s.a

y/n:

female

age: 25

birthday: september 15, 1997

currently living in seoul, south korea

originally from new york city; part time in los angeles

all got7 member info is in present time.

let me know if i should post ch. 01 :)

______________________________________________________________

disclaimer:

slight or recurring mentions of other idols, groups, familiar names.

despite it taking place in present time, with real time events, this story the plot and scenarios are 100% made up

[taexual]

HOLIC - 48 | jb x reader

pairing: Im Jaebum x Reader

genre: enemies to lovers au | roommate au

warnings: angst

words: 3.4k

disclaimer: i do not own the gif, please let me know if it belongs to you, so i can give proper credit

           prev / next

The next few days passed by surprisingly quickly. You’ve set your mind on a fair number of things and finally relieved yourself of some of the exhausting doubts that have clouded your mind for as long as you could remember. Most importantly, you’d decided to quit your job at the gallery – and, thus, began your last week of work before you moved on, diving head-first into the dark unknown.

Knowing that you wouldn’t have to work there anymore and no longer having to stress out about your potential exhibition made every morning much easier as you no longer had to spend the first fifteen minutes after waking up cursing at every inanimate object in your way. On top of that, although plunging yourself into the abyss of uncertainty was relatively scary, you still felt alive with excitement. Not to mention, now you had much more time to find a new job, all while rehearsing the words you were going to say to Jaebum once Jackson finally called you with a way for you two to meet.

You had decided to start to work on a new version of yourself but, first, you needed to fix your relationship with Jaebum. That was the only broken thing from your past that you wanted to take into the future with you. No, “wanted” didn’t quite describe it – needed, perhaps. You needed this relationship to continue because you were afraid of your life without it. You were waiting for Jaebum to make the choice of where to go from here but, even though the reins were in his hands, you weren’t going to stop fighting for the one solid thing on an otherwise rocky foundation of your life.

This determination was a relatively new feeling for you but it was the only feeling that you were certain about. If, like Jaebum, you had to pick the most prominent emotion that you were feeling and put it into your art, you’d have picked the overflowing love and inserted it into all things around you until your surroundings were screaming as loud as your heart was.

Thinking of Jaebum was what made the wait for Jackon’s call so difficult. You went on with your life – or, tried to – choosing to busy yourself with work instead of sulking, but you couldn’t help but feel your mind wander back to him again. It was like the aforementioned love always pulled your thoughts towards him, never letting your mind stray from him for too long.

And that was how, after convincing Eva that you weren’t going to change your mind about quitting, you finished your day at work, and found yourself looking at the pictures of Jaebum you’ve taken on the day he brought you to Jackson’s studio for the first time. Looking at them brought back all the memories, especially accentuating the fight you and him had had before he gave in and finally played “Don’t Touch Me” to you.

You’d both done and said some awful things to each other that night and you could still recall how much Jaebum’s doubts about you made your chest sting. What made it hurt even more, however – actually, so much more, that for one passing moment, you thought you were having a real heart attack – was Jaebum’s confession that he was terrified of himself around you because he wasn’t thinking. Because he forgave and forgot, and kept giving you second chances every time you did something that raised red flags in his overly-alert mind.

The memory made it hard to breathe all of a sudden.

You’d been so angry and so upset with him for saying those things – for even thinking that you’d ever treat him in any way that he didn’t deserve – and then you made his fears come true by omitting the truth. By selecting which parts of your life you wanted him in. By lying, just like he was afraid you would.

Closing your laptop shut, you got up from the bed and left your room as you tried to breathe in through your nose and exhale through your mouth. It was a pathetic attempt to calm down, really, because it seemed as though your heart was now a whole separate being that was powered by your anxiety and had promptly gone into overdrive.

Breathing exercises didn’t help. Drinking water didn’t help. Lying down made it even worse.

It was the sort of wave of suffering and self-hate that you could have only been saved from if someone told you that everything was going to be okay. No, not someone—him. But he wasn’t here and it didn’t seem like it was going to be okay – hence why you were nearly shedding your skin as you tried to find a way to break out of the paralyzing chains of pain.

You’ve lived through the past few days worried and anxious but still in control. You’ve lived hoping and anticipating your conversation with Jaebum. You’ve considered what you were going to say. You’ve even rehearsed it all. But the consequences of your words is what pained you now.

You haven’t given Jaebum’s response any thought. You had set your mind on explaining yourself to him and giving him enough time and space to decide what he wanted to do but now the raw grips of panic were tearing you into pieces just at the thought of Jaebum choosing not to do this anymore. And the worst part was, you didn’t think it was fair for you to keep on fighting if he gave this up. He was just as mature as you were and he had certainly thought about this as much as you have – what would you even say if he told you to leave?

He had every right to let your relationship go because he deserved one where he would never be put in a situation like this. You didn’t think you had a right to search for ways to make him stay with you if your behavior proved to make him suffer. If you turned out to be as toxic for him as the girl you’d tried so desperately to save him from.

Suddenly, it felt like this was the last time you were standing in your kitchen. And, in a way, you were glad. You felt trapped here, in this room. You felt just as trapped in your own body – but the helpless feeling was slowly fading. Searching for an empty glass inside one of the kitchen counters calmed your heartrate down, replacing the desperate wave of fear you’d felt with a silent numbess.

It was as if a sixth sense had opened something up inside of your heart – subconsciously, you knew what was going to happen the next second, so your mind and body had to prepare in advance: you couldn’t possibly start to hyperventilate when Jackson finally called. And, as soon as you grasped the glass of water in your shaky hands, trying to keep yourself hydrated despite the pointlessness of the task, your phone finally rang.

You lunged for it, drops of water spilling on the kitchen island – empty now that Jaebum wasn’t here to eat meals with you – and nearly landing on your phone, too. You could barely keep yourself together when you saw Jackson’s name on the screen.

“Yes?” you picked up, the one word coming from the back of your throat and thus making you sound like you just woke up even though it was way past into the afternoon now.

“Hey. Sorry it took me so long to call you back,” Jackson started and you couldn’t help but notice the voices in the back of his call. You wondered if Jaebum was there with him. “I—I’ve found a way for you to talk to him.”

Your entire chest seemed to expand to provide more space for your wild heart as it continuously banged against every single rib in your ribcage.

“You did?” you asked, the words coming out in a huff.

“Yeah. There’s, uh, this party his label is hosting this Friday,” Jackson said, quieter now as if he was trusting you with a big secret. “We’ve both been invited and, even though he said he’s not going, I’ll drag him there myself. One of the producers owns this club downtown, so we’re getting a private lounge, and, you know, it seems like a good spot as any for a serious conversation. Away from the maddening crowd, so to speak.”

“Yes, yes, that sounds perfect,” you were nodding frantically. “Are you sure you can get him to come, though? Jaebum isn’t really someone that gives in to persuasion easily.”

“That’s true but alcohol makes this much easier for me,” Jackson replied. “He won’t miss a chance to get drunk. Especially amidst all that’s happening, you know?”

“Yeah. Right.”

“So, anyway,” he added quickly after catching the discouraged tone in your voice. “I’ll send you the address and let the security know you’re my plus-one.”

“Okay,” you inhaled deeply, “thank you so much. I-I—you have no idea how much I appreciate this.”

Shuffling was heard on the other end – from the sound of it, you assumed Jackson was avoiding a group of people that just walked past him – before he replied, “it’s alright. You can pay me back by getting back together. There might be a million-dollar song on the line here, yeah? He can’t write it if he’s not with you.”

“I—”

“I’ll see you Friday,” Jackson said. He must have known you could never find what to say whenever the topic of Jaebum writing a song about you was brought up. “Don’t overthink this, okay? Jaebum might not show it, but I have no doubt that he’s dying to talk to you, too.”

Friday turned out to be an eventful day. For one, it was your official last day at the gallery – handing in the employee badge that you’ve worn around your neck for the past few years was rather bittersweet: relieving, on the one hand, but also rather glum – but it was also the night of Jaebum’s party. It truly felt like today was going to be the last day of your old life – one last hoorah before you started a new era – and you even debated getting a haircut, to really imprint the change that was coming.

As it turned out, you didn’t have any time for a haircut. You barely had enough time to decide on an outfit before, packing up your phone, wallet, keys, panic, and anxiety, you walked out of the door of your empty apartment and headed downstairs to catch a cab.

The ride to the club wasn’t very long, so you didn’t have enough time to rehearse the words you planned to tell Jaebum one more time, but that didn’t really worry you much. You had a feeling your entire thought process was going to end up in shambles as soon as you saw him, anyway.

Once the cab stopped and you stepped into a busy street, it took you a good minute to find Jackson – if he wasn’t waving his hand like a madman, you’d have probably missed him – and then another minute to actually reach him as the people, crowding outside of the club, were very intent on pulling you to the back of the line.

“Hi, sorry there’s such a commotion here,” Jackson said once you finally made it to the door. “I’ve told them it wouldn’t be smart to throw a private party at a club that already goes over capacity every Friday night as it is but no one ever listens to me. Should we go in?”

You nodded, too out of breath to actually respond, and followed him inside. The security guard merely glanced at you before nodding and allowing you two to enter – Jackson, clearly, was a familiar face – and, before you could even prepare yourself properly, you were suddenly listening to the same loud, organ-clenching EDM song that Jaebum was probably listening to.

“Alright,” Jackson stated—and then repeated himself louder when you squinted your eyes as if that could help you hear him better. “Jaebum is upstairs. He got here first and I told him to wait for me in the lounge.”

“Okay—”

You had already turned towards the staircase at the back of the club but Jackson grabbed your hand. “Ah, hold on—you need a drink before you go see him. Let’s take a quick detour to the bar, yeah?”

You had to admit, that wasn’t such a bad idea, so you allowed him to pull you towards the bar where a few girls were already dancing on the bartop lit up by dozens of neon-LED lights. The atmosphere in the club was buzzing with life and it was so electrifying, you were surprised to find yourself loosening up even before you had your first drink.

Jackson took the liberty of ordering while you were too busy watching the captivating dance moves of one of the bartop girls – for someone who seemed as drunk as she was, her movements were surprisingly smooth and, honestly, rather captivating.

“I’m sorry if that’s out of line for me to say,” Jackson spoke, distracting your attention, “but you look different. How have you been doing?”

“Oh. I’m—well, I’ve been trying to move on from the things that made my life miserable,” you said but weren’t sure how much he heard because, just as you started to speak, the DJ changed the song, and the gaggle of young-adults next to you proceeded to screech at the top of their lungs. “Uh, unfortunately, I can’t move on from my own self, so I’ve been trying to make a change in my life instead. I-I guess that might be why I look different.”

“That’s good!” Jackson nodded enthusiastically, not hearing all that you’ve said but definitely catching the most important parts. “I didn’t say it was a bad different. What have you changed so far?”

“I’ve, uh—” once again, you got interrupted by the bartender bringing you and Jackson the drinks he’d ordered, “I’ve quit my job.”

Jackson’s enthusiastic smile suddenly faltered, “oh, shit. You did? What are you doing now?”

“Nothing, really. Searching for a new one,” you replied with a small shrug. “Something behind the stage, preferably. I’ve had enough customer service experience to last me a lifetime.”

He chuckled at this, picking up his drink and encouraging you to do the same. Somehow, you’ve never tried rum before but, after just a sip of the Cuba Libre in your hand, you couldn’t really tell why. It tasted far more like coke than rum and yet you could still feel the buzzing effects of the alcohol as it entered your bloodstream.

“Yeah, I suppose galleries don’t get the best specimen when it comes to clients,” Jackson said once he emptied his glass. “What about your exhibition?”

“Oh,” you took a final sip and put the empty glass down – carefully, so the girl dancing on the bartop nearby wouldn’t accidentally kick it over, “that’s not happening. I’ve said some pretty fancy words to Jiho the last time I saw him, so it’s over. I’m not really hosting one anymore.”

Jackson noted that you didn’t look overly upset about that – in fact, he was sure he saw you smile when you mentioned the last conversation with Jiho you’ve had – but he’s been around enough artists to know how deep the wounds inflicted by a crushed dream could be.

“Well, why don’t you come to me?” he offered.

You frowned, unsure what he meant. “What?”

“To work, I mean,” he explained. “You already know how big my family is on art. We’ve been investing in artists that aren’t just musicians. Actually, my very first job was modeling, did I ever tell you that? My parents hosted this whole photoshoot for me when I was, probably, two months old? The photographer said I was a star.”

You laughed. “Oh, wow, over twenty years in the modeling industry and you’re not even thirty. That’s impressive.”

“I know, right?” he played along, smirking. “But, anyway—why don’t you think about it? Not modeling, I mean. Photography. My family—they’re nice people. We look out for each other and it’s always art that comes first for us.”

It felt like a rather witty—and subtle, no doubt—way to chastise you for choosing to work with someone who thought of publicity before thinking of the art, and you felt your face heat up as you looked away from him.

“T-that’s good,” you commented awkwardly, not having expected to get scolded��yet again—on your decisions by someone who wasn’t Jaebum. You’d prepared yourself for his opinion only. “That’s a great attitude.”

“It is. I think so, too,” Jackson said, not noticing—or, choosing not to notice—your embarrassed state. “And you’re a talented artist. I understand that your mind is probably elsewhere right now—”

“Yeah,” you stretched nervously, “sort of.”

“—but do know that your dream isn’t entirely hopeless, okay?” he finished. “If you want something enough, there will always be a way to make it happen. I’m here for you.”

You’ve heard these words before but they seemed to have a different meaning tonight. Perhaps because you finally realized what the thing you wanted more than anything was.

“Thank you, Jackson,” you said, the thoughts of Jaebum being nearby doing the work that the rum and coke didn’t. You felt positively intoxicated already. “Seriously, I—I can’t thank you enough.”

“Don’t mention it,” Jackson waved his hand and then helped you stand from the bar stool as soon as he realized your mind could only be distracted from Jaebum for so long. “Now go. Talk to him.”

You exhaled shakily, closing your eyes for a few moments to mentally prepare yourself. “Right. I’m going.”

“Everything will be okay,” Jackson reminded you, “as long as you focus on what’s really important.”

You nodded one last time and then allowed his warm smile to push you towards the stairs, leading up to the VIP lounge where Jaebum thought he was waiting for Jackson.

With each step that you took, coming closer and closer to seeing him, you kept thinking about what so many people have said to you the past few weeks – if you wanted something enough, you could find a way to make it happen. They’ve all been talking about your ambitions in life – the exhibitions and the career as a photographer – but, the truth was, those were the things you’d have liked to have but they weren’t exactly the things that you wanted.

What you wanted the most in life – with ten more steps separating you from Jaebum – was to have a purpose. To have it and not to lose it. And you knew what the purpose of life was because you had it found it way before you met Jiho or even started to think about hosting any exhibitions.

Love.

As corny and cliché as it was, that was it. Everyone knew it but they liked to pretend that they didn’t. They searched for something else – money, work, children – but, at the end of the day, it always came down to love. The strongest emotion a living creature was able to feel, so much stronger and all-consuming than any shape or form of anger or hatred.

Knocking on the door and waiting, you were able to understand that love might have started wars but love ended them, too. Love was the beginning and love was the end. And – as you watched Jaebum’s red eyes appear behind the black door of the private lounge room – you knew you didn’t want your love to end. You knew you couldn’t lose your purpose in life.

“Jaebum,” you exhaled, the loud music from the club downstairs almost drowning out your voice. He stopped short at the sight of you. You couldn’t see it but, inside of his chest, a heart that seemed to freeze when he left your shared apartment, was slowly beginning to beat again. “Can we talk?”

     chapter directory

[idolimagines]

Moodboard: Disturbed "You know something is terribly wrong when the psychiatrists themselves begin to go insane." Series coming 10/31/17

[squishylilmochi-blog]

§ Hangover.

Words: 872

Genre: fluff, slice of life, idol!au, female reader

A/N: I thought of doing something more fluff than the ones before. Feed back is always welcome! Hope you like it~ ^^

I was so busy smiling and greeting fans as they nervously gave me their albums to get my autograph. We’ve been like this for almost two hours now.. I’m SO done, I want to go home already. It’s not that I don’t like seeing my fans and talking to them, it’s just that I’m really tired from last night party.. Jackson thought that it would be cool to celebrate our third year group anniversary by going out to have a luxurious dinner, before clubbing.

My head hurts from all the alcohol and the lack of sleep, my ears still buzzing from the loud music and my eyes still a little irritated from the lack of sleep and the pink fog of the club..

«Why the hell did we went there? Furthermore, the night before our first fan meeting after the comeback.. I’m.. too old for all those things..»

Then suddenly a hand patted my back - "Hey JB, last night was awesome, right?"- Jackson whispered, trying to not let the fans in front of us hear him. I looked at him with a poker face. "Yeah right.."- I said sarcastically as I looked away from him, giving all my attention back to our fans, who were asking me to do some cute poses with an snorlax pushie.

As I was doing all those cringy poses for the cameras, the line of the table moved and I heard a giggle in front of me. "THAT.. does not suits you at all, Jaebum.." I looked down and smiles - "Didn’t you said that you wouldn’t be coming?"- I smiled seeing her laugh. She smiled and pushed an album toward me- "Omo oppa~ I’m a big fan of you~" She started to act out as all the other girls in there, making me cringe. «Omg.. I’m so thankful that THAT’s only an act..» I picked the album and searched for my page as she remained quite looking at me. When I found the page, I open it and saw a sticker in there. Surprised I looked at her and saw her laughing, then I read it:

« "How’s the hangover baby? I’m still dead from last night though..I’m starting to hate Jackson.. haha ^3^ Here there’s some coffee and some of your favorite beverages and snacks~ ♥" »

I looked back at her and she was placing some cans and bags of snack in front of me, as well as a hot coffee. I couldn’t help it but smile, she’s too sweet and caring. "Ok.. so here you have the gummy bears, the minds, the chips, the choco pies, the cheese balls and-" - I interrupted her- "You didn’t have to, baby.."- I said as I smiled and caressed her soft rosy cheek. I made her blush a little and she looked away, hiding her face with her small cute hands. "Y/n.. you should have stayed home baby.. you have to work in a few hours.. you have to get some rest too.."- I said placing softly her hair behind her right ear. She smiled and grabbed my hand- "My baby was here all bored and tired.. How could I not come? Also, I wanted to see your smile before going work"- she whispered giggling.

«What should I do? You’re too cute..» I thought as I got a little shy from her words and smiled back. Then I felt Jackson clinging again on me- "Oh! Y/n~ You came~~"- he screamed after noticing her. With his loud voice he attracted people attention, who were whispering things like: ‘Who is she..? Do they know her..? Who does she think she is..? She’s just another IGOT7, right..?’ After hearing all those whispers I got a little sad.. «I’m such a horrible and coward boyfriend.. I still haven’t found the right moment to shout from the rooftops that she’s my girl and that I love her...»

I looked quickly at her, worried about her reaction to the things some fans were saying. "Don’t worry Jae~ I’m fine, don’t worry. I know that’s normal.. because you’re an idol.."- she said as she got up from the chair and moved to the next one, winking at me and smiling. «I don’t deserve you baby..» The fan meeting continued and my eyes were following her as she was passing and talking to each member. She was giving them some coffee too, making them giggle and look at me with a proud smile. The row keep slowly moving, and Jackson whispered at me- "Boy.. If you don’t marry her, I’ll." I looked at him with a killer glance. "I’m kidding bro.."- he laughed - "She’s so sweet~ I love my future sister-in-law~"- he smirked as he hit me repeatedly with his elbow, making me giggle.

Y/n finished the row and started to walk away, I was still following her with my eyes, admiring her small figure from behind as she walked. «I wish you could turn around.. I want to see your beautiful smile again, before you leave to work» but I lost her between the crowd of screaming fans. Composing myself once again, trying to act charming in front of the fans, but pouting a little inside, my phone suddenly vibrated so I looked at it. I got a message:

« "See you this night for dinner~ Love you! ♥♥♥♥     -Y/n" »

I couldn’t refrain my feelings at all.. I couldn’t help it but to smile from ear to ear after seeing her message and the picture she sent. In the photo, she was sitting on the other side of the table, posing with all the members, making funny faces and peace signs as I was in the background, eating the chips she gave me as I talked to a fan, not realizing anything.

«Yeah, see you this night baby.. I just hope that your answer to my big and nerve-wrecking question.. is a happy, YES.»