#(which you know is clearly my fault and I just should suffer or something but for some reason I keep refusing)

[raeofgayshine]

All I want is for there not to be a hole in my closet ceiling so I can go back to having my stuff in my room in their correct places and I don’t have to worry about something happening until it’s fixed

But since this isn’t my house I have exactly zero control over that, and over contacting the people who are supposed to fix it. At some point. We don’t actually know when and I’m so fucking upset about it

[occamstfs]

Chauffeur Swap

Another epistolary TF ! Cocky office worker to an equally cocky gym bro, trait swap + IQ Drain aplenty -Occam

Monday May 6th

Morning 

I’m beyond thrilled that I’m finally being looked at for a promotion. I’ve worked my ass off for this company ever since I graduated and I am not going to let this chance slip through my fingers. It’s such a good gig, in the week leading up to them filling the position they’re letting us use the company’s chauffeurs as just one little hint of the luxury this promotion will afford us.

At least, that’s what I thought before my driver arrived to pick me up and I saw what a slob of a man my driver was! I mean my word! I thought it was a prank or something else untoward! I’m sure he could tell too, I could not muster even a shy smile, nothing to do but grimace. God and that was before I got in! He must have just been an Uber hired or something because it smelled like a locker room in there! Truly vile!

God willing this is a one off occurrence, hate to get the oaf in trouble. Though judging by the state of his hygiene though he clearly needs to be taught a lesson somehow! I mean even with this job I couldn't afford to buy cologne enough to hide that stink- perhaps some dog-strength febreze- Ha!

Evening

Godddd fuck! The last thing I needed after such a stressful day was to be greeted by that animal’s face- worse yet, his SCENT! I underestimated just how grueling this interview charade would be. It is just one final hurdle to the big leagues though. I will leave petty contrivances like suffering through this unpleasant car ride behind.

Just to make the time pass with greater speed I put forth some small talk. Not like I could hold my breath near long enough to make a difference, and it couldn’t hurt to vent about what a hassle the day had been hm? After this though he started talking about himself and fwoh- could I not care less about whatever surely protein-fart based drivel or beer-brained diatribe he launched into. 

Perhaps this is unfair, I did not deign to listen to him. So perhaps he’s better than he seems. But who could blame me, sitting in that car was punishment enough to earn me tuning him out. And! And! For him to have the benefit of the doubt surely he could at least wear deodorant! Hm. Unless he is trying? God that would be depressing, to be so, ugh- I continue to hold out hope I never see him again

Tuesday May 7th

Morning

Mm, I simply must develop a better poker face if I am to continue to suffer in this odor for the week, god forbid even longer- I have prepared accordingly however, yesterday no one mentioned it at work but I swear I kept smelling it, him, all day? Same when I got home, just everytime I calmed down from work bam! I smelled this horrid car ride. I am bringing my cologne to work with me, I plan to put it at lest once more when I arrive at work.

It’s just, Why is this my problem right! I don’t know what his problem is, but I don’t see why I have to suffer because of it right? I should not have to deal with someone like this, he’s supposed to be working for me. I uh, it’s not like I think I’m better than him I just, well I am better than him. Hm, I lost my train of thought. 

Ugh, I keep spacing out today- I’m sure it has to do with my twice-daily rides with, hm. I don’t even know his name. It’s? You know I don’t care. I just need to take it easy, I’m not letting this fucking dude-bro pitstain of a man bother me this much! I’m getting my bag and he is not worth a second further of my, uh, attention.

Evening

I have a headache and I don’t know how it is his fault but it has to be. This whole thing is setting me on edge, I need to chill about Ben. That’s right Ben! I got his name, I actually told him about my headache and he told me that he usually meditates to clear his mind- which crazy that someone so, despite all appearances, mindful treats his body like a sty but- Well not a sty I suppose, or at the very least a well built one- 

Ah, that’s not quite appropriate is it. God he is hot though. Honestly sitting there just breathing in his, uh, scent, helped with the headache. Wait no, it was the meditation, God, why can I not stop thinking of his fucking B.o. My headache was gone but now I feel I’m beginning to run a fever, or at the very least I need to turn down the AC or something-

Better not affect my work tomorrow.

Wednesday May 8th

Morning 

Not gonna be a good one. I fucking woke up late which ive literally never done before! I barely got myself up and ready in time and didn’t realize until the car but I didn’t bring my cologne with me. It turned out to be the least of my problems however as when I got in his car I fully spilled my coffee all over the backseat. Hopefully this will mask his putridity because I now have to sit in the front with him for the ride.

He must know. He has to know it has to be some kinda sick, uh, fetish or something. Its untendable untenable. god get your shit together Jacob. Its so hard to focus on anything else now that Im sitting right by him. I need to talk to someone about this, fuck its like hes exposing his pits on purpose. He wants me to stare at him, i bet. Bet he gets some sort of sick rise out of me. Im sure him and all the other chauffeurs probably get together and jack off about how repulsive and, uh, strong they all are.

God Fuck! Get me out of this car im losing my mind! Need to, ill just get some work done on the commute, should help i think. God its getting hot in here again or something, so help me if this fucker starts actively sweating im gonna lose it

Evening

i just couldnt get anything done today i dont know what was fucking up dude? it was just so hot in there and i mustve forgotten to put deodorant on this morning, people kept complaining but i didnt even notice? i guess i was sweating more than usual, but like, it was so hot in that office and my clothes felt weird, tight almost. As if tho, lol im sure no one even really noticed that i was off.

OH speaking of, Ben really put himself together on the ride home today. He was wearing a button up and everything, must have seen how nice im living and got his shit together! Maybe ive been to hard on the douche? nah car still smelled like shit haha! Or i think it did? didnt really notice it until like halfway thru?

Fuck my clothes are so tight all of a sudden, godd its so hot actually. I look fucking huge in this tiny little monkey suit- almost like Benjamin ha- as if id stoop so low, even if i started getting massive not like id be dum enough to be on his level lol

Thursday May 9th

Morning

Fuckin couldnt find ANYTHING this morning dude! it was like someone came in and took or hid everything i need for work today. ended up having to just fuckin leave for the car without a suit jacket- pretty sure ive got an extra in my office tho so were chill there. mm probably shouldve shaved tho lol

Oh yeah the files! i had some reports that i needed to bring in but totally couldnt find them! Turns out benjamin had them the whole time it was weird, guess i left them last night. but he was like such an ass about it, like he knows anything though the uh, jock, jerk uh. hes actually dressed better than me rn isnt he. Finally threw on a dress shirt, surely inspired by me haha- pulling it off quite well too, his chest hair peaking up through mm-

Fuckkk dude my cocks kinda getting hard looking at him, starting to smell musty in the car too, wait oh shit i didnt even notice that it didnt reek when i got in! weird that its starting to stink now tho whats up with that, looks like hes finally noticing tho ha! its nice to see him finally react to how bad my uh, no how I GOD, how bad fuckin’ he stinks obviously. whatever, ive got more important stuff to think about.

Evening 

okay work was like, not fuckin chill today. idk what was up but like, every little thing i did today just wasnt good enough apparently like okay?? you know me, if something seems off clearly, fucking OBVIOUSLY it uh, i? god my head just keeps going blank i dont get it, im just. Huh, kinda smells like Ben all of a sudden, oh fuck lol my pits have completely sweat through my shirt-

None of this matters anyway though bro! Because i just had the BEST sesh with Ben after work!! honestly the work shit doesnt even bother me, shouldve seen me its like i am a natural at this shit i was getting a pump like ive done it a hundred times. im sure it smelled like a locker room on the ride home lol

OH! I didnt even say, it was all ben’s idea!!! he said the gym always helps him when uh, things get too hard to think about and fuckk bro hes so right. hes so, lol i almost said hes so smart- he definitely knows how to work out though, he kept helping me with my technique but im prety sure he just wanted an excuse to touch me- 

not that im complaining LMAO- every time he did it was like i felt myself getting stronger, and less worried about all those yes-man suit fuckers! hed adjust my arms and i would feel my biceps just suddenly pump larger, hed bump his hands into my pecs while spotting me and theyd just force the bar up even faster, wish hed just go ahead and grab my cock lol

theres time yet too- gonna crash at his place tonight! hopefully ill get to see him put his magic fingers and tight body to use cause fuck bro idk if it was the pump or what but i dont think my balls have ever been this blue, like any time i try to think about, oh ughh, work i just. mm everything in my body just begs me to fucking blow a load- 

Friday May 10th

Morning

fucker just went to bed early- got me all riled up and then i had to jack off alone. felt way better than usual tho, my cock seems bigger to lol, dk whats up with that. wanted to try again this morning but ben was just on my fucking ass trying to get me out the door 

i didnt have any of my clothes, duh, so i just threw on some of his, crazy how much they fit me? they even kinda already smell like me lol. he actually put a suit on which seems wild, funny that i look like a slob and he looks like some uh, fancy guy. Like i should right? uhh is my headache coming back? lol idk but looking at him in that fucking suit sure is making it hard to focus-

ben said i can just change n stuff when we got to the office, its why hes dressed up. ill go ahead and drive us and then hell just run up and get my clothes, idk if theyll fit tho? feel like im larger than i was for some reason- oh yeah my massive fucking pump lol- 

mh speaking of pump, maybe while hes up there ill have time to jack another one out, not like anyonell see or care ya? like its a problem im about to be the fuckin alpha of this company or uh, something. itll be done before hes back, only evidence will be cum stains on his clothes lol. ugh it smells so fucking dank in here i might just cum without touching it lol

Evening

shit man, dont know what i was doing? i feel like i was supposed to go into work today but ben says from now on im just his driver. which easy gig right lol? doesnt even care that i dont shower huhuh-

he got his big promotion today!!! he looked so smug and hot when he came down to tell me, and he promised wed have some fun about it when he got home tonight- just gotta drop him off at some stupid fancy dinner ill probably hit the gym while hes there. gotta keep it up or ill look like some fucking dweeb

plus that means ill get the car totaly filled with my bo- hell fuckin love that, after he gets a good whiff no way wil he not want to fuck then and there huhuh fuck, kinda needs to get that exercise in now that hes doing whatever bitchass shit they do all they day up there needs to give in and just fuck me finally its been so, ugh long and my balls feel so full, and im sweating so much god im fogging up the windows loli better be careful i need to keep it together until then urgh- 

god i just smell so fucken hot

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Japan is Winning on Kisses & Other Alternate Realities

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

March 2024 Wk 4

Ongoing Series - Thai

Two Worlds (Thurs IQIYI) ep 3 of 10 - It would be great if we got the alternative romance with dead Kram from Tai’s perspective (JBL style.) Still I like this show. It’s a little bit like I Feel You Linger in the Air only with a love triangle. And while I'm not a fan of triangles as a general rule, I don’t mind it here because the set up is clever. Wayu and  ao are fun sides too. It sure is moving very quickly, which I like. I’m not entirely sure what’s going on. But that’s normal for me with this kind of Thai drama. 

Deep Night (Thurs iQiyi) ep 4 of 8 - They are extremely sappy boyfriends. I love that mom has a secret gf. Could we please have more of them? The love triangle sides are ridiculous, but I do like that it’s all out in the open. I also like they are actually addressing the complicated parental dynamics of owning a sex club. Honestly, I think Khem should have to be a host too. Learn him the right way, girl!

City of Stars (Fri iQIYI) ep 9 of 12 - It’s good, I like the fallout and them actually having to deal with crazy fans and past relationships. They’re so good at communicating it’s kind of a pleasure to watch them suffer through external pressures, because I have faith that they can make it through.

To Be Continued (Thai C3 Thailand grey) ep 6 of 8 - They are such cute puppy dads and so clearly meant to be together, the fact that they aren’t is just frustrating. The fight thing was stupid. And not a whole lot happened... plus singing. I’m getting fatigued with this one. 

1000 Years Old ep 7 of 12 - Did I miss something happening, or did nothing happen? 

Kiseki Chapter 2 (Sun iQIYI) ep 2 of 6 - It’s so boring, there’s so much guitar playing, and it got weirdly voyeuristic (in a very much not sexy way). I’m totally out. DNF

Close Friend Season 3: Soju Bomb! (Weds iQIYI) ep 3 of 6 - I can’t tell if this is trying to be a BL Romancing the Stone, or a BL Hangover, or both. The problem with situational comedy is it must be both situational and comedic, not just option one. The problem with calling something BL, is that it must be BL. This show got 1 of 3 claims correct. 33% is not a passing grade. DNF 

Honestly, it's the HANDS with these two. They do beautiful beautiful things with their hands. If you're one of those hands-obsessed BLabies you should be watching LIBTSTA!

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Unknown (Taiwan Tues Youku YouTube & Viki) ep 6 of 11 - So the worst finally happened. The mountain of pain has fallen down upon us. And now, hopefully in the second half things get better for our boys. But what a rough ride. Normally, this is not my style of BL, but everyone is doing such a gorgeous job with it, I can’t fault it… except that it hurts. The red thread symbolism was elegantly done. I’d like to hope we get a reunion in the next one, but knowing this style of series they’re gonna draw it out. There's gonna be a more pain first.

Love is Better the Second Time Around AKA Koi wo Suru nara Nidome ga Joto (Japan Weds Gaga) ep 4 of 6 - Those fuck me puppy dog eyes were perfectly executed. I would not have been able to resist either. Gosh they are so damn cute. This is a great show.

Jazz for Two (Korea Gaga/grey) eps 1-2 of 8 - This comes from the Shoulder to Cry On team so I'm scared, but this one is all actors* not idols so maybe they'll be braver. Boy howdy does it have a fantastic opening sequence. Also the lead is fucking adorable. Mr Broody McBroodypants is cute too. Korea sure loves “pretty but broken.” On the JBL end of the spectrum, is everyone in love with their siblings? That’s weird. The dining room scene was painful. All in all, it's good, I'm intrigued. Let's see how you go little show.

I stand absolutely corrected the lead is a member of NEWKIDD (in my defense I'd never heard of them until Build Up last month). I did recognize him from To My Star because at the time I thought he was too pretty to be only a side character.

AntiReset (Taiwan Fri Viki/Gaga) ep 10 fin - Again there was overuse of previous footage and maudlin navel-gazing grief over something we knew was going to happen. So I didn’t really feel much emotional connection to the drama. 7 year time gap.? t was a cute reunion but the moral quandary never really got resolved. I don’t know how to rate this, I’m not sure I will ever watch it again, so that is a big mark against it.

There’s nothing objectively wrong with this BL except how upsetting it is because of the foundational pygmalion story - grown man falls in love with an android who is basically both his slave and, by maturity level, a child. Yet that premise is crystal clear from the get go, so we watch it eyes open. The actors are cute, the romance sweet, the physical chemistry on point (of course, it’s Taiwan) and yet I was left ultimately unsettled by the concept, content, and plot. 7/10 

My Strawberry Film (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 7 of 8 - I'm so ready for this to be over, and for Gaga to have something good on. Soon please?

It's done, ready to binge, but I suck

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps

It's airing but...

Graduation Countdown (Taiwan YouTube) - It's too much to ask me to keep up with 2 minute verticals, I don't have that kind of TikTok endurance training. Waiting to binge.

A Secretly Love (Thai Sat WeTV grey) 10 eps - I watched the first ep but grey is too much work for this inferior of a show. I may pick up and binge if it gets distribution but for now, it gets a DNF from me. KimCop might have held this crap together but Kim without Cop? No thank you.

Lady Boy Friends (Thai WeTV grey) 16 eps - reminds me a bit too much of Diary of Tootsies only high school. Not my thing. DNF unless it turns a corner and is truly amazing.

Tangential to the genre

There has been the occasional discussion on this topic here in this little corner of tumblr so I thought there might be a few intersted in this podcast: AmericanThaiGuy Ron Weaver on the Complicated Issue of Racism in Thailand (The Bangkok Podcast)

Thailand passed its Marriage Equality bill through the lower house. It's expected to pass the high house and get signed by the King, but that hasn't quite happened yet.

And MaxTul dropped a photo shoot.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Starting Soon

3/31 Only Boo! (Thai GMMTV YouTube) 12 eps - New main couple for GMMTV in an idol romance about a boy who dances good and a food stand vendor. Other side of the tracks grumpy/sunshine pair who fall deeply in love but, of course, baby boy idol can't date. Boyband but from GMMTV? Control your singing and I'm game.

3/31 The Next Prince (Thai ????) 12 eps - trailer. ZeeNew in a fantasy/historical set in a palace where Zee plays a knight and Nu a prince - YES PLEASE. (Apparently this is just the pilot, not the start of the actual show, see comments.)

4/1 Love is like a Cat (Korea ????) 12 eps - This completed filming Aug 2022(!) which means there have been serious problems with post-production. This is another of Silkwood's Korean+Thai colab projects. Mew Suppasit plays a rookie film star, called the Cat Prince (for his cold arrogance) who goes up against a charismatic puppyish animal daycare director (JM of JUST B). There is a side romance (love triangle?) with a veterinarian. Geonu of JUST B is also in the cast. Dual languages.

Hum, trash-watch-a-licious?

4/3 We Are (Thai GMMTV YouTube iQIYI) 12 eps - University ensemble BL featuring PondPhuwin, WinnySatang, AouBoom, MarcPawinPoon - basically the good kind of messy gay friendship group (so more My Engineer and less Only Friends). Looks a bit like the Kiss series but everyone is queer. I'm IN!

4/11 Living With Him AKA Kare no Iru Seikatsu (Japan ????) 10 eps - Kindly Ryota goes off to uni only to find his new roommate is his childhood bestie, Kazuhito. Kazuhito doesn’t have a girlfriend and Ryota tries to help him figure out why, they fall in love along the way. Same director as Old Fashion Cupcake.

4/11 Gray Shelter AKA Gray Currents (Korea ????) 4 eps - SooHyuk is only just surviving and reunites with YoonDae, an old friend. They end up living together. One of the leads is played by Choco of Choco Milk Shake.

4/18 At 25:00, in Alaska AKA 25 Ji, Akasaka de (Japan Gaga - may not be global) 10 eps - Yuki lands his first starring role in a BL drama alongside superstar Asami (previously his senior at uni). Said superstar suggests they form a sham relationship until filming concludes. As they actually begin to fall in love, the spotlight begins to burn.

Seriously? You're killing me with these titles, boys.

4/26 My Stand-In (Thai iQIYI) 12 eps - adaptation of Chinese novel "Professional Body Double" by Shui Qiang Cheng. Stars Up (Lovely Writer) and Poom (Bake Me Please) directed by the same team as KP (not a recommendation IMHO - my biggest criticism of that show was the clashing directing styles). This one looks well complicated, lemme try: Joe is a stuntman for famous actor Tong. Joe falls in love with Ming but Ming sees Joe as nothing more than a Tong-replacement. After learning this horrible truth, Joe dies. Joe then wakes up in the body of another man also named Joe. He manages to rebuild the same life as before—with the same people eventually re-meeting Ming. Ming wants Joe back but Joe doesn't understand why. But Ming seems to know what's going on and wants to give him some kind of explanation.

I'm exhausted just trying to describe the plot.

Knock-Knock Boys (Thai WeTV) - 4 college friends conspire to help their friend lose his virginity. Familiar faces like Seng (yes, Billy's previous partner) and Best, news here.

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

NOTE: It looks like one of my personal favorites of last year Unintentional Love Story is getting a spin off!

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENT

Just these two, in my head, rent free. Thanks Japan!

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are too much work.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @rocketturtle4

If ya wanna be tagged each week leave a comment and I will add you to the template. Easy peesy. (With so many tags when does a weekly tumblr post become a newsletter? That is this week's philosophical question...)

[jinnie-ret]

could we maybe get a part two to fallen Angel? Maybe it could have her healing process, like her physical therapy process, and the fan reaction? I just love reading your work :3

fallen angel pt 2

Stray Kids x Ninth Member!reader (Platonic)

content warnings: mentions of injuries (ankle, rib)

genre: fluff, angst

word count: 2.2k

after suffering a nasty fall in a Kingdom performance, Y/N is eager to get back on her feet, only to feel downhearted when she receives some less than motivating news. it's a good thing she has the boys there to support her.

Thank you so much @mynameisnotlaura for this request!! I hope you enjoy! :)

As always, if you enjoy please like and reblog! And my asks are open so be sure to leave in some requests if there's anything you'd like to see!

MAIN MASTERLIST

Stray Kids' Fans in Uproar as Second Member is Removed from Kingdom: Legendary War

With just a few more weeks until the finale of the competition between six boy groups, a second member of the group Stray Kids has been removed from the show.

MNET have released an official statement saying:

"Due to faulty equipment that had not been properly authenticated by outside distributors, Y/N of Stray Kids sustained an injury that has prevented her from continuing in the competition. This is a very unfortunate situation and we wish her a speedy recovery."

However some fans have speculated that it was actually MNET's fault and that they should have checked the equipment themselves.

What do you think? Let us know down below:

Comments:

First Hyunjin, and now Y/N, this is so sad to see our group of 9 go down to 7...

It's clearly MNET's fault! You could tell Chan was angry about something before making sure Jeongin was ok

I wouldn't be surprised if Bang Chan went off at the staff, we all saw how annoyed he was in that one vlive...

Our poor maknaes, I hope they're both doing ok! Jeongin, Y/N, fighting!

I hope the rest of the boys are doing ok, now that they're down two members...

The way you can see the moment things go wrong in the performance and Y/N still manages to keep a calm face!

Okay but you wouldn't have been able to tell that Y/N got injured until they showed it after the performance.

Y/N put her phone down sighing. She was glad there was no nasty comments from what she read but she still didn't feel all too optimistic. MNET had blamed someone else for her injuries, and had also denied her requests of participating in the competition once more. Sure, she wasn't fully healed yet, but they could have let her be a part of it somehow without her dancing too strenuously. And no, she wasn't going to accept their request to just sit backstage and watch. In any other world she wouldn't mind doing so, but she knew that MNET would manipulate their footage and craft a vision that reflected badly on her own part.

It had been a couple of weeks since they filmed that performance, and a week since the episode was released, and Y/N was still on bed rest. Anytime a member saw her hobbling about they'd immediately do the thing she wanted for her, or escort her back to her room. Cutting a long story short, she felt like she was in a hell of some kind. Y/N longed for her independence, which added on top of the reasons why she was feeling so angry and upset and just... jumbled at the moment. It wasn't even like she could hang out with Hyunjin, because when the members left for practice, not before checking up on her of course, she would be left alone in the dorms. Hyunjin was spending his hiatus at home at the moment, but she was excited to see him soon after filming for Kingdom was finished.

Shuffling out of bed, and letting out a harsh breath at the pain that hit her mid section, Y/N slowly stood, now having to hobble across her bedroom floor with crutches, careful not to further distress her sprained ankle. Some say she was lucky it was only a sprain, but really it was a pretty severe one that was she lucky it didn't do any permanent damage.

"You should be in bed," Lee Know sternly said, back turned to her as she entered the kitchen.

"How did you know it was me?" Y/N pouted, letting out a groan as she leant against the kitchen counter.

"Here let me, careful, careful," Han gently supported her weight momentarily, helping her into a seat and offering a smile at her.

"Thanks, Hannie," Y/N smiled at her squirrel like member, turning back to Lee Know.

"Not hard to distinguish the difference between crutches and hobbling, to normal footsteps. Plus you normally run in for my breakfasts but you can't do that at the moment," Lee Know tapped Y/N on the nose as he put a plate of pancakes in front of her.

"Hey... don't remind me," Y/N said, shoulders feeling tense as her irritation was evident on her face.

"Yeah, you'd normally be the first one in here," Seungmin chuckled.

"Stop," Y/N slammed her fork down against the table, feeling bad for suddenly lashing out but she also felt so annoyed at the fact she currently couldn't do less.

"Sorry, sorry, we won't mention it no more, unless you want to, okay?" Felix calmed her down, one hand on her shoulder as the other ran through her hair.

"No, it's okay, I'm sorry, it's just... It's really annoying, I've ranted enough about it, you guys already know what I think about it all," Y/N waved her hand dismissively after her apology.

"Doesn't mean we don't want to hear it," Changbin reminded her, as he always did, being the great listener he is.

"Yeah, plus you know you've got our support and the fans' too, right?" Jeongin quietly pitched in, still not fully awake himself.

"I know, I know," Y/N nodded, taking a bite of her pancakes, humming in delight.

"Good?" Lee Know rose an eyebrow from across the table at her, a satisfied smile appearing on his face when she nodded enthusiastically.

Bang Chan emerged from his room just a everyone was finishing breakfast.

"Come on, time to go!"

"You missed breakfast," Changbin tutted at him, Chan only able to respond with a sheepish smile.

"You have to go so soon?" Y/N asked quietly. She could already predict how her day was going to go. Lay down, watch Netflix, sleep, repeat.

"Sorry sweetheart, got a lot of recordings to do today and we need to practice for collab stages on the show," Chan felt bad for his dongsaeng, he could tell she was feeling lonely, but they all tried their best to keep her in the loop.

"I can't even sing on the tracks?" Y/N asked hopefully, but even she knew that the answer would be...

"No, I'm sorry, you know it could make your ribs feel worse if you do. And you know you've got a physio session today, right? Seojun hyung will come round to pick you up and take you there," Chan reminded her, as she let out a groan.

"Ugh, I forgot about that. At least it gets me out of the dorms for an hour or so," she tried to see the positive side.

"See, not too bad!" Jeongin tried to encourage her, but it fell on deaf ears, knowing no one else would want to be in her position right now.

"Can someone help me to the sofa before you guys head out?" Y/N asked awkwardly. She always was awkward when doing so, feeling a guilt of some sorts that crept up on her in these types of situations.

"If we must," Seungmin playfully rolled his eyes, but was gentle nonetheless as he and Felix supported her onto the sofa.

"You comfy?" Felix double checked, shoving a pillow underneath her lower back to help with the healing of her ribs.

Y/N nodded as she took in some deep breaths, the short walk from the kitchen to the lounge leaving her a bit breathless.

"Are you sure you'll be okay, Y/Nnie?" Han bit the top of his thumb worriedly.

"I'm fine, I've got Netflix to keep me company for now, I'll see you guys later," Y/N didn't even look at them as they left, turning the TV on and hoping to block out her jealousy and irritation.

There was a knock on the door before it was unlocked and Y/N couldn't believe that she had already watched 6 episodes of Modern Family.

"Hi Seojun oppa," Y/N greeted him as he helped her stand and grabbed her crutches.

"Hi, Y/Nnie, how are you feeling today? Ready for your physio?" Seojun said warmly.

"I'm never ready, you know that," she laughed as he helped her out of the dorms and took her to the physio session.

On the way there they listened to some music, and Y/N fought deep within herself to not put her all into singing along. She couldn't make things worse. She wanted to recover as soon as possible.

Throughout the session Y/N herself felt like she was making good progress. Seojun and her physiotherapist, Soyeon, praised her as she did her exercises.

"So, only 2 more weeks left, yeah? Then it's been 4 weeks like you said and I can start working again," Y/N said with a big smile on her face. She was in a good mood from how the session went, which was soon to disappear.

"Yes, I did say 4 weeks, but I also said 4-6 weeks. Unfortunately it seems like your body is taking longer to heal than we initially expected, which isn't anything to worry about but I believe your healing process will be more in the 6 weeks," Soyeon informed Y/N, feeling bad for the younger girl.

"Right, okay, yeah, that's fine... thank you as always, Soyeon," Y/N said with a tight lipped smile and turned to Seojun with a look that said 'I want to go home now'.

And he complied. The manager felt bad, hearing the sniffles Y/N tried to hide during the journey back to the dorms. But knowing the girl, he didn't want to make a big deal of it, and simply passed her a tissue, knowing she would be thankful.

He helped her back into the dorms and took her to bed, letting her rest and feeling slightly reluctant to leave, he eventually did, sending a text to the other Stray Kids members to let them know how she was doing.

'Y/N isn't feeling too cheery. Not a good result to the session today, she's back home now. Could do with some comfort I think.'

And with that, the boys rushed home as soon as they could, not wanting their fellow member to be feeling upset. They knew she was angry, but they hadn't really seen her sadness or tears since the day her injury happened.

"Y/N?" there was a tentative knock on the door.

But Y/N didn't answer, she was too busy being curled up warmly under her duvet, her own sobs sounding muffled to her as she listened to some sad music through her airpods.

"Y/Nnie, hey sweetheart," Chan said softly, brushing her hair out of her face and removing her airpods.

"Adele? Damn she is going through it," Seungmin muttered to himself as he put the listening device to his ear, wincing lightly when Changbin heard and smacked him on the back of the head.

"Go away," Y/N tried to pull the duvet over her head not wanting the boys to see her upset but failed.

"Hey, hey, none of that, what happened at the physio appointment today?" Chan asked worriedly, thumbs swiping away the tears that ran down her face.

"Was it something serious?" Jeongin asked frowning, hoping that it wouldn't be.

Felix sat around the other side of Y/N cuddling her behind gently, for comfort.

"I've got 4 more weeks of this. 4 more weeks of doing nothing," Y/N sniffled, Felix rubbing her stomach in circles with his hand that was draped lightly across her midriff.

"I thought it was 2 more weeks?" Lee Know wondered out loud.

"Me too, but now I'm stuck here like this for even longer. Something about not healing as they expected," Y/N hiccuped on her sobs.

"Calm down, you're working yourself up, it'll be ok, those weeks will fly by," Changbin soothed her as he patted her head.

"I just hate doing nothing. I feel like I'm making you guys do all the work and making you babysit me when I should be pulling my own weight," Y/N confessed after calming herself down a bit.

"It's not like that at all. Plus, we love babysitting our maknae," Han let her know, patting her leg from where he was perched on the bed.

"Speak for yourself," Seungmin joked, making Y/N laugh, and then stop from the pain in her ribs.

"Here, silly, take these," Lee Know handed her some paracetamol to take, shaking his head fondly at her.

"I'm not silly," Y/N sleepily muttered after taking the tablets, leaning back into Felix's arms.

"You are for thinking you're making us do all the work," Chan sighed, still smiling at the girl.

"Yeah, don't worry, there's plenty for you to do when you're up and about," Lee Know said with a devilish smirk.

"That's fine by me," Y/N yawned, eyes fluttering shut.

"She's the only person I know that can sleep so comfortably at the idea of having lots of work to do," Jeongin shook his head with wide eyes.

"Told you, works like a charm," Lee Know laughed quietly at his shocked face.

They all stayed until she fell asleep, leaving just her and Felix in the room in peace.

tagged: @oo-li

[myfandomrealitea]

ok I’ll be honest, I was one of the people who approached your safe space post with the mindset “yeah, but…” like, I now whole-heartedly agree that there should absolutely be fandom spaces devoid of real world issues. We all need our spaces to rest and relax. I think I just felt weird about your post because previously ive been in fandom spaces which did operate on the (perfectly fine) rule of ‘no politics’…but ‘politics’ would also include talking about a gay ship or any queer headcannons.

That obviously wasn’t fair to you because you obviously didn’t mean that w/ your post, but I can personally see as to why some people would feel that way if they were in similar fandom spaces. I do still want to reiterate I do agree with your post and I think some of the rebloggers took it…a bit far? Like Jesus Christ some of y’all need to eat a snickers. I also think some of the wording like “bitching about world issues” and “whining about their shitty parents” might’ve thrown me off but that’s not your fault and really a non-issue 🤷🏽‍♀️

you can delete this ask if you want I really won’t mind, I think I can just see as to why there were so many ‘yeah, but…’ rebloggers.

I actually really appreciate asks like this. For a multitude of reasons, but also because it gives really good insight and outer perspective for both me and other people who are aware of or involved in the discussion.

I think what a lot of people don't yet grasp about me is that while I may hold an opposing view to yours (general, not directed), in the vast majority of cases I still very much understand why people would think the way they do and where that thought process comes from and goes.

Its very, very easy to fall into the mindset of thinking that not helping when you have the ability to makes you a bad person or however in/directly causes suffering. Its very easy to be in the mindset of one single individual making a magnitude of difference.

I fully and genuinely understand and comprehend a lot of the points being brought up.

I just don't agree with them and hold a different outlook on those issues.

For example:

Talking about enjoying a queer ship to me is not 'political' in the sense that, personally, if you're a homophobe and upset by generic conversations about queer people, I really could not give a fuck. And if you raise objections to me talking about two dudes kissing, I'm simply going to remove you from my space because clearly it is not beneficial for either of us to share it. And I made it.

Its obviously very very much down to personal discretion to decide where that line is and what that bracket encompasses, but I think the most universal aspect of that safe space post was trying to get people to understand that forcing others to suffer in solidarity isn't activism and that strangers are not obligated to allow you to use them as support and a dumping ground for your needs.

Spreading around videos of people's dead loved ones isn't activism.

Spamming taglines and buzzwords on completely unrelated posts and videos isn't activism.

Relying on complete strangers for emotional and mental support and regulation while dumping vulnerable, graphic, personal information on them is neither safe nor healthy.

People are not obligated to smother or confine their happiness because of your misery. If you're having a bad day you have no right to tell other people they can't be happy in front of you.

A lot of people, mostly white knighters and people of color took the post as "a white privileged pig saying its okay to let racism slide because you want to play your video games" (actual hate mail I received) and that's so laughably and wildly far from the actual basis of the post.

I've had bigots in my servers before. Homophobes or racists who've slipped through the cracks.

You know what happens when they say something homophobic or racist?

They're immediately removed, blocked and reported, and their information is placed in a private document I keep. I issue an apology to the members of the server for their actions, and life goes on.

People are, of course, entitled to take the post as they see fit. They're entitled to their own perspectives and opinions. I'm more than happy to simply focus on the people who have taken support, guidance and solace in the post.

[redsaurrce]

LOVE SHOT -DOSE 3 <Kiss me here>

synopsis 💉 Where jk becomes the part of an experiment where he wasn't supposed to take the love shot but ends up taking it in high dose and gets obsessed with yn by mistake

pairing 💉 YANDERE Scientist!jeon jungkook x Scientist!fem reader

genre 💉 scientist!au , smut (minors DNI)

word count 💉 3K

warnings 💉 - kissing, profanity, jungkook is horny AF, cumming, fingering, boobplay, nippleplay, neck biting & kissing, manipulative man in da household y'all

DOSE 2

taglist 💉 @aajjks @effielumiere @dearsullix @canarystwin @yourslut16 @imwithurmother @perfectlyfangirling @pnibts @bloodline1632 @hopeonysus @roundedreluv12 @jub-jub @maqsxi @kooscameras @jungkooksleftbigtoe13 @thatblena @yawnyanii @viridiphile @milkxgukk @outro-kook @puppiliciouslove @mata0-0mata @pk-jimin @jungchanie @ziraspells @twisted-loved @lunaofsun @inlovewithallmusic @sassyfoxunknown @teugiie @hsaranghoe @jjhmk @mryuyux @xxoverthinkerxx @fandems @hollyverday @ohmygodddsblog @fly-on-the-wall @lookformyvoice @slutforwwh @shakashakaa @meikoo @emochicksasukeee @dearly-somber

@mymomsaid-no @madnesstaking0ver @miyoung23 @outofst1le @jiminstreble @kanvis @k3lynn @imagine-this-motherfucker @dontcallmeelle @jkbabiey @1-in-abillion @bangmechanpls @uarmyhore @devils-blackrose @hrndez2008 @azur3s @erennjim @cherryunie @vynmin @fragmentof-indifference

"Jungkook I suppose you won't have another episode any sooner, how about I go and buy an inhaler for you?" You said and got up from the sofa to leave but just in time he got ahold of your wrist.

He gulped as he looked up at you with a twisted expression, "I can't believe you still dont get it Y/N, this isn’t any normal fever or breathing problem that I am having... normal medicines or devices won't make any difference, the only thing I need is your presence, your touch, only you. Who knows what'll happen to me once you leave me here alone."

You blinked, "Jungkook, it'll hardly take ten minutes, why are you overreacting?"

"Overreacting!? Am i?! Y/N, I am the one going through this so I clearly know what I need right now. I can't believe this myself either but just the thought alone of being separated from you even for a moment is causing me heavy discomfort in my heart." He said and you could feel pain in voice.

You bit your lip in guilt, you shouldn't have been so harsh with your words, you sighed.

"I'm sorry i should have maintained my demeanor, you are already suffering, i-i shouldnt have said something so hurtful." You gritted your teeth as you mentally cursed yourself.

Jungkook decreased the distance between you and him, he released his grip from your wrist and cupped your face, "Yes, those words were indeed hurtful but you know what hurts me more right now?" He asked you as he caressed your right cheek, you looked up at him and saw him, his expressions slowly becoming sadder.

"What?"

"To see you sad- It hurts me the most, so i hope to reconcile and let you know that none of us are at fault and it was just an accident that you and I have got caught up into, instead of wallowing in sorrows, why don't we work on solving the problem we have at hand right now?" He said as if an adult was consoling a child.

You nodded slowly, "You're right, i'll no longer bring this up, we should probably focus on solving it."

He smiled.

Wow, that was so easy to get you on board! Jungkook thought to himself, not to mention how he had masked on an evil smirk with a friendly smile in front of you.

Jungkook was not in his right mind, that's what he thought at first when thoughts of kissing you, holding you tight, sleeping with you started flooding his mind.

He wasn't sure when and where things got twisted, the dose which was supposed to act as a cupid became much darker, as if it began to bring out a new Jungkook out of him, turned him much more sly and lustful.

A Jungkook which he never thought to become, but now he wishes he never goes back to his old self.

His old self who didn't even possess the courage to confess to you while now, he kissed you merely within a day of taking the dose, he's much more bolder now, much more twisted.

He knows it too.

And he loves it.

Meanwhile you hated it. You hated how Jungkook ended up being a victim of your curiosity, from your point of view, you saw this as something Jungkook hates too. He probably has someone he likes but look at him here stuck with you, unable to stay without you.

You may hate it but he has all the more reasons to hate this situation more than you, that's what you thought, it made you feel so guilty and bad which is why you couldn't say no when he said, "Y/N, let's sleep together."

"Huh?" You raised your eyebrows, did you hear that right?

He sighed, "You're probably thinking that I hate all of this, i know you feel pity for me.. its written all over your face."

Your eyelids fluttered at his observation, you pressed your lips thin, "You're right, i guess."

He held you by your shoulders and said, "And i think i have a solution to this. "

Your eyes at once went wide, "You do?"

"I think.. so? I'm not really sure if this will work but there's no harm in trying it out right?"

"Okay, so what is it?" You asked him.

"I just asked you to sleep with me a moment ago, right? Well, I'm just trying to put the pieces together. You see, my symptoms do not vanish through any antidote, nor through anything whatsoever except you." He licked his lips and continued, "So what if the cure is the ultimate step between us? That is having the extreme- I'm talking about sex, I can't think there's anything else more intimate than that?" He tilted his head and waited for your answer.

You took a moment to think over this, it seems like a plausible solution yet you saw loopholes in it. Like for example if instead of you, if Jungkook saw any celebrity at that moment... how could this solution work out?

You've realised what a mistake it was to even come up with this experiment- ugh! You just can't stop with the regret. "Alright! Doing something is better than doing nothing. Let's just get it done and get over with it."

You said and went inside your bedroom, Jungkook was stunned for a moment, he didn't expect you to fall for his logical lies so easily but then again, he knew he was using your weakness for his gain.

Your weakness being guilt and regret and his gain being the pleasure that was about to come tonight.

He snapped himself out of his thoughts and walked towards your bedroom, upon entering he almost fainted seeing you shirtless for the first time ever.

You sat there on the bed quietly looking at him, just a bra and a panty on you, yes.. it was awkward because you never thought you'd ever sleep with a colleague, evenmore to think it was Jungkook you were talking about.. whom you have never seen as anything more than friends.

You already undressed yourself because you thought it would be easier for him to have you in this state from the get-go!

Meanwhile Jungkook looked at you from head to toe, you looked so fucking beautiful and he just couldn't take his eyes off of you.

He gulped hard as he approached you, "Y/N, when was the last time you had sex?"

"Mmm.. it's been quite a few years." You answered.

"How was it?" He asked.

Your eyes naturally twitched at the thought of your ex, you really don't want to remember it but yet you couldn't deny that "It wasn't bad."

He smirked, "Is that a challenge for me? I hope you say "it was best" the next time someone asks you the same question." He said confidently while pulling up his shirt.

You looked at his bare body and my oh my! Look at those chiseled abs! No wonder he looks so confident.

"The condoms are in the drawer." You said and climbed up further on the bed until you sat against the bed rest.

He took them out and stuffed it inside his pocket and got up on bed.

He crawled towards you like a predator aiming for its prey, he started kissing your legs and thighs and sniffed at your pussy like a dog.

He could feel the twitch in his pants already, oh just how tempting were you!

He licked your inner thigh and it tingled from the cold sensation of his wet tongue.

He kissed over your clothed pussy and continued kissing your abdomen till he reached your chest area.

He brought his right hand and hovered it over your bra like a feather, you let out a tiny moan when he fingers scratched your cherries from over the fabric.

In no time they became hard, he used his thumb and index finger roll them like a screw and then squeezed them hard. You whimpered from the pain and just then he pulled down your bra exposing your beautiful breasts. He kissed them softly and started to lick them gently until he squeezed them hard again with his incisors.

You closed your eyes shut and straightened your legs from the sensation, he took this opportunity to use his hands to slide down your panty and started fingering your pussy.

While his teeth were squeezing and chewing on your nipples, his fingers were deep inside you mirroring the movement of scissors.

You moaned and he could feel his soul leave his body by how beautiful you sounded just then.

As soon as he felt your juices were leaking, he brought out his fingers and smothered the juice all over dick. His dick which was also leaking mixed with your cum, he took them and rubbed it all over your face.

You were too busy to feel disgusted as you no more had the presence of the surrounding, it was just you and the pleasure Jungkook was giving you.

He knew that you were enjoying it, afterall you looked like you were ignorant of the world at that moment. He moved up and licked your entire face clean with his tongue and when every drop of juice was in his mouth, he opened your mouth and started placing sloppy kisses on them.

Meanwhile he quickly teared off the condom packet and put it on his dick before going inside your vagina.

The first time he thrusted in, you gasped and as a result you swallowed the cum that was inside your mouth.

He thrusted again deeper and your back arched at the pain, he now slid his dick in and out of you continuosly until you went numb. Just as things were getting even more intense, he suddenly felt the crook of his neck had started to burn.

He stopped altogether and clenched his teeth at the pain, you wondered what made him stop so you looked at him.

All of a sudden you felt sobered up from the daze of pleasure, you immediately asked him with wide concerning eyes, "What is it?"

"My- my neck, it's really hot Y/N, can you please touch it- no- please kiss it?" The pace of his breath became faster.

"O-ok." You quickly leaned in and blowed some air and kissed the area.

Jungkook sighed as he instantly felt relief, "Thanks a lot.. I think the solution of having sex failed--" He hissed in pain as the same burning sensation returned again but this time on his dick.

His eyes grew wide, wow this loveshot really is a big deal huh? It sure knows what Jungkook's fantasies are.. even though he was in sheer pain, the happiness of how to overcome the pain overjoyed him.

You asked, "Jungkook what's wrong?"

"Ah-ah my- my .." He pointed downwards and you looked at his member, it really did look red like it was flaming up.

"Will it be alright if I kiss there?" You said in worry.

"I- I don't know, please hurry up." He said in pain.

He removed the condom at once, you gulped and quickly bend down to kiss his dick. Yes, as expected the pain was gone and it takes a few more seconds for the redness and hotness to vanish... so he thought of using this information to gain a bit more than just a kiss.

He started to pretend, "Ah- ah Y/N it didn't work, can you please lick it?"

You blinked at his absurd request but he looked quite in pain so you tried to forget everything and started to lick his cum covered dick.

Jungkook was having heavenly pleasure as he placed his hands at the back and relaxed at the work you did for him. As soon as you heard his sigh of relief, you looked up to look at relaxed face of Jungkook.

"Is it gone?"

"Oh yes yes! Thanks a lot Y/N, I can finally sleep in peace tonight."

-

After washing up last night and lying next to Jungkook- who was sleeping soundly, you couldn't help but ponder over a long time of how to reverse things and if it still was a good idea to roll this out in markets. What if people start misusing them?

In the morning the door bell woke you up. You yawned, just who the hell is there so early in the morning? Oh where's Jungkook?

You stepped out of your bed and heard shower noises coming from the bathroom. Must be taking a bath!

You went to open the door in half sleep-awake state but the sleepiness soon evaporated the moment you opened the door, the person standing in front of you was the last person you'd ever like to meet on Earth.

Your ex-boyfriend Park Jimin.

"Y/N, i broke up with her." Were the first words that came out of his mouth.

As if you cared! Did he seriously destroy your sweet sleep for something so useless? You rolled your eyes, "And? Why exactly are you here?"

He gulped, "I am here to ask you something. Why did you warn me that day when i left you for her? You said its okay if I'm breaking up with you but i should date anyone but her, why did you say that? Did you see this coming?"

You scoffed, "You're here for something i said years ago?! And why do you even want to know, dont you already know why you both broke up. Now stop bothering me and go away!"

"I'm not done yet, if you give me the answ--" Jimin paused immediately as soon as he saw someone coming in his line of sight behind you.

"Who's he?" Jimin asked you and you turned back to see. Your eyes went wide as you saw Jungkook standing there with wet hair and just a towel wrapped around his waist.

He walked towards both of you when he spotted an unknown male figure.

"Let me introduce myself, I'm Y/N's--"

"His name is Jungkook." You quickly cut him off before he could say something absurd, you looked at him with threatening gaze, "when you are going to introduce yourself, please state your name first before taking mine." You said shooting lasers off your eyes and then turned towards Jimin, "Anyways, you should get going now."

He knit his eyebrows, "Why are you so eager on sending me away Y/N? Won't you offer even a glass of water?"

"Hey hey mister, if she says go away, you should go away." Jungkook stepped in between you both.

Jimin poked his cheek inside with his tongue, "Are you her boyfriend?"

"No, he-" You were quick to deny but Jungkook cut you off, "and what if i am?"

Your eyes went wide again, just why the hell is acting like this!?

Jimin took a glance at your face and scoffed as he looked at Jungkook, "Well, you aren't so why don't you step out of our business, ah- i forgot to introduce myself, I am Park Jimin, Y/N's ex-boyfriend." Jungkook's pupil shook at Jimin's words.

Jimin saw that.

He smirked and then looked at you, "Y/N i won't ask anymore about me and Ningguang, but I'd appreciate if you could give me a dose of loveshot. I heard from one of my friends whose brother had volunteered for the experiment. As soon as i heard your name, i knew it had to be you."

You sighed, "Why do you need it? To get Ningguang back?" You scoffed, "Why don't you bring her to the lab tomorrow to register her as a subject?" You smiled sarcastically.

Ningguang? It seems Jimin and Ningguang were lovers or something? Jungkook thought.

The bulb in his mind immediately lit up as soon as he saw this as an opportunity to get rid of Jimin, he interrupted, "Uh actually we do have a sample in the lab, right Y/N? Let me bring me it."

You frowned, "Why would you?"

"Y/N you do know that possibility of errors decrease with increase in number of subjects right?" He said.

"But-"

"Hushhh." He kept a finger on your lips, "We should help him out Y/N, didnt we take the oath of showing equality to everyone who needs our help and not involve personal feelings? I'm sure you didn't forget it already, did you?"

You sighed with a sour expression, "Fine whatever."

Jungkook smiled and went inside to bring the tiny bottle of 5ml dose and a new injection.

"Here, may you and your lover get together just as before, that is our one and only goal of the shot." Jungkook said as he handed items over to the Jimin.

"So you were a scientist too, thanks anyways, I'll keep you guys updated about our relationship, if thats what you wanted as you are not asking for money in exchange of this." Jimin reasoned.

"Precisely. Ah, just update only me, no need to bother Y/N, she's already busy because of me..so you can update just me, here have my number." Jungkook said and punched in his mobile number in Jimin's phone.

Once he was gone, it felt like Jungkook could finally breathe. "Well.. thankyou." You spoke and Jungkook looked at you in question, "What for?"

"Well, for him to text only you, I don't want to get involved anymore with him so.."

"You're so adorable, ofcourse i could sense from a mile away how you badly you wanted to smash the door on his face." He chuckled and so did you.

"But why did you even give the shot to him, what if something goes wrong?" You asked as you walked back to your room.

"Relax Y/N, it's the safe limit 5ml dose that I've given."

You tched, "Yeah yeah, and please put on a shirt."

"Ay ay captain!" Jungkook chuckled while putting on his shirt.

Meanwhile Jimin was now sitting inside his car.

He clutched the packet of the injection tight and said to himself, "Who said I'm going to use it on Ningguang?" He smirked as he glanced at your apartment for the last time before he drove off.

DOSE 4

AYO JIMIN THEN WHO???👀

[cocogum]

The Great Wave - Chapter 7 Review

‼️SPOILERS FOR THE CHAPTER‼️

Warning(s): unhinged behavior, fat shaming, unnecessary use of foul language, osamodas slander

This chapter made the stupid decision to edge me.

We come back to Yugo having an episode from the poison he just drank and he is going through it hard.

My guy is coughing up blood, eyes are turning red, body is shaking like a mad man, screaming in agony, and his wakfu antlers are even going crazy…

To top it all off, he’s now having a series of igniting explosions because of the dofus residing in him. Like you can’t make this shit up, my guy is literally creating explosions from the inside out. Look at the damages.

(damn, amalia is carrying this whole banquet. look at her saving these ppl what a queen ✨)

Which clown decided it was a good idea to poison a demigod in charge of six dofus and expect nothing abnormal or deadly to happen?????

Oh yeah, the blue-skinned cows.

I don’t care what anyone says. The osamodas family was in charge of the poison attempt, I don’t care if it was that Sadida woman’s idea since it’s obvious she’d know more about poisoning. The osamodas are at fault, the osamodas king told Aurora that they should wait and let them enjoy this last happy occasion. He also told Aurora that they knew about the marriage but weren’t invited?? Come on, they’re clearly at fault here!! They’re the ones who told the Sadida servant to do something about it and she improvised! But what these two bozos didn’t know, was how it would backfire on them. This is stupid to think about because they KNEW Yugo wasn’t a normal person. Poisoning Yugo is like trying to poison a deadly cobra. Or in this case, A FUCKING DEMIGOD. Either way, you’re gonna get jumped.

Like, OF COURSE Yugo’s gonna have a freakout and fuck shit up when his body had been messed with a deadly substance.

OF COURSE, he’s gonna hurt a lot of people around him if he’s around anyone.

OF COURSE, he won’t fucking die cuz of his divinity status.

OF COURSE, he’ll start ruining the kingdom these two fucking dumbasses want for no reason.

You can’t make this shit up.

These two are so bad at being villains, they don’t even know what the fuck they’re doing to people they don’t bother knowing more about. They don’t even know who their target is.

After understanding what kind of poison Yugo drank, which was the belladone, we now know why Amalia knew what was in the cup. She probably recognized the smell of it.

Amalia: “Adamaï…The belladone is the worst of poisons…”

According to how she describes it, this poison is so deadly that it kills the person or animal who drinks it in under ten seconds. The victim first drinks it and then foams at the mouth before collapsing and dying.

We’ve seen the same thing happen in another era of the World of Twelve and that was back in the Cire Momore backstory which was an event around the Dofus era.

The daughter of a queen tried poisoning her for all the suffering she’s endured and had the help of a painter to do it.

Gustave (painter): “I found the berries at the exact place you indicated.”

Princess: “Perfect. Do not forget to carefully wash your hands. The belladone is highly toxic.”

Based on this passage alone, we’ve learned that the belladone are purple berries that are so toxic, that they can even damage you if you don’t properly wash your hands after you pick them.

After that, during the banquet, the princess secretly poured the poison into her mother’s wine. But just before she could drink it, her dog suddenly jumped at her, causing her to drop the wine, which made the pet drink it from the ground instead.

The results were exactly what you expected to happen.

Once the dog drank it, he foamed at the mouth and collapsed, immediately dying from the drink.

So when we compare this instance to what happened to Yugo, we can see a huge difference.

Unlike what happened to the dog (or any mortal), Yugo is still standing but is terribly shaking, coughing blood, and having an episode. His body is trying to get the poison out of his system by coughing but his body is still alive.

The only thing Yugo can say while in this situation is “It hurts”. My guy is in severe pain but he’s still breathing, I don’t think anyone in the history of the krosmoz has ever taken the poison like this, let alone a divinity of all people.

Yugo: “Sor…ry. The…pain.”

Bro even has the time to say sorry while kneeling on the ground and holding his stomach. He’s literally at death’s door, grasping for life, his body trying and struggling to reject the poison, and he still finds the time to apologize for something that wasn’t even his fault.

What a chad.

Amalia: “Yugo…He should already be…”

Adamaï: “My brother isn’t like everyone! He possesses the six primordial eliatrope dofus, if he manages to take hold of himself, then he can take it…”

Even Amalia is shocked that Yugo is still breathing. But Adamaï over here is telling her that he WILL survive this if he can perfectly control it with the eliatrope dofus.

And we all know how that ended up for him the last time he used them…

So Adamaï flies in and takes Yugo away from the banquet before he actually hurts somebody.

Adamaï: “Yugo, you have to focus. Or else you’ll destroy your kingdom or end up killing someone!”

But bro is not listening cuz the second Adamaï pulls him up, dude just overcharged himself before exploding AGAIN.

JUST LOOK AT THE DAMAGE!! THAT LITERALLY LOOKS LIKE A CRATER!! You can even see how perfect the circle looks from this shot.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, the moment you’ve all been waiting for.

AMALIA FUCKING GROWING SOME BALLS AND JUMPING ON THE OSAMODAS.

Nah cuz this scene was what we needed! THIS was the moment we wanted to see ever since that blue-skinned woman started breathing in front of our screens!!

As soon as Yugo caused another explosion, this was it for the stupid clown ‘royal’ family. They signed their death sentences and Amalia is fed up with their bullshit.

Cuz trying to make her marry one of their relatives, being disrespected by them while her brother did nothing, getting told to leave her home and kingdom, being told that she should be replaced, sure she could manage all that.

She can take it. But seeing her husband being poisoned like that on the same day that a wedding was supposed to happen AND having the osamodas randomly being there to witness it, was the last straw before she finally fucking snaps.

She had just lost her whole family in a short period, she wasn’t going to lose her husband to some clowns.

(Also what the fuck were they thinking of poisoning her husband when she had already lost so much?? Did they really think this whole thing wasn’t going to backfire on them??? What a bunch of amateurs.)

And look at them just standing there looking 😮😱😱😱😧😮 LIKE OF COURSE SHE WAS GONNA KILL Y’ALL, YOU BOTH LOOK LIKE THE ODD ONES OUT HERE ‼️‼️

They even looked caught off guard when they saw Yugo causing explosions.

You got Aurora over here with her dumb ugly bat pet looking all shocked, covering her mouth as if she was surprised to find out her dad’s shenanigans wouldn’t work. And then you got animal king over here realizing he fucked up.

And right when they get confronted for their repetitive bullshit, they see literal death looking back at them with the most bloodthirsty eyes they had ever seen before.

Amalia’s so pretty in this shot ready to rip them apart 🥰🥰

Like yes queen, cut them to pieces, we’re about to have a barbecue 🤤🤤

As soon as they get caught red-handed, that’s when they suddenly turn soft and act like victims.

Fatty: “Stay back my daughter, this girl has lost her mind.”

“StAy bAcK mY DAUghTEr, ThIs gIrL hAs-“

Shut yo dumbass up little boy you knew something like this would’ve happened stop playing with me.

He’s over here acting like a random passerby when a second ago he told Aurora that they should wait a little more for something to happen.

So when he gets cornered by the very same girl who he had disrespected and ignored in Season 4 and wanted to be replaced so his useless trophy daughter can take the throne, now she’s suddenly “lost her mind”???

Fuck you.

Amalia: “YOU MONSTERS! I WAS READY TO CONFIDE YOU MY KINGDOM!”

Fatty: “I don’t know what you’re imagining, girl, but…”

That useless fat fuck KEEPS PLAYING THE CARD VICTIM EVEN WHEN SHE HAS EVERY RIGHT TO BLAME HIM.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME????

WTF IS WRONG WITH THEM?!!?

She has EVERY RIGHT and he’s over here HEARING HER say that she was ready to give him the kingdom but this fatso is too high up his own ass to hear her cuz he’s still delusional and telling her he didn’t do shit. Even when she was this close to giving it to him, this guy was not budging from the victim card.

If I could spit at anyone in my life, it’d be him. What a sad excuse of a man. I bet my own kidney Chibi can take him in a fight.

This is literally my favourite panel of this WHOLE volume so far.

Amalia: “You poisoned my husband.”

I love it so much ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

LIKE YES FUCKING KILL THEM RIP THEM APART THEY’RE JUST STANDING THERE LIKE PROCESSED MEAT READY TO BE CUT‼️‼️‼️‼️

DO IT ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

I just love how the more Amalia becomes enraged, the more her speech bubbles tremble and shake, implying that she’s slowly but surely becoming more unhinged and losing it.

Fatty: “Crazy girl…”

Takes one to know one, bitch.

This chapter genuinely edged me, I WANNA SEE SOME BLOOD ALREADY‼️‼️

YOU’RE CO CLOSE JUST KILL THEM‼️‼️‼️‼️

DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DOT IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DOT IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DOT IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DOT IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DOT IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DOT IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DOT IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DOT IT DO IT DO IT-

I PRAY that these poor excuses of antagonists DO NOT appear in volume 2. The chapter cover of the tenth chapter only features the Sadida servant who poisoned Yugo and she looks completely calm, almost like Yugo’s explosions and Amalia and Aurora’s fight have calmed down.

SO PLEASE TOT PLEASE DON’T PUT THEM ANYWHERE ELSE ANYMORE.

Seasons 3, and 4, and the great wave’s first volume are already enough. So cut it out. Let me have a day where I don’t get a migraine just thinking about what kind of dumbassery these fake osamodas will do in the next chapter.

[fuck-your-proana-blog]

Fellow disabled people/in recovery people/suicidal people, please avoid interaction with @skylarthethompson .

I tried to kill myself last year because of my ED and chronic pain. I was in a coma for 2 days, in the hospital for 2 weeks, and am still suffering the after affects of the damage the 3 months worth of pills I swallowed did to my brain and body, and I'm still struggling with suicidal thoughts due to my many physical and mental illnesses. I just hope me exposing this cruel human will keep them from hurting anyone else who is also struggling.

Telling someone they have nothing to live for is so fucking beyond ok and I just want to warn anyone else who is suffering from chronic pain/illnesses/disabilities and mental illnesses/suicidal ideation that this person is a cruel and insensitive troll and to not let them rent space in your mind.

I reported them; anyone else who sees this please report this despicable behavior so they don't do any further damage to the mentally ill/chronically ill community here on Tumblr.

The first comment is clearly suicide baiting, and I guess they realized that and tried to seem a little less depraved; but you can't undo saying shit like this:

Also, take a look at the victim mentality at work here: "you're a smart smart nice person and I'm a dumb dumb mean person." 🙄.

And then there's the fake "do-gooder" story. So telling a very disabled person that their life isn't worth living is helping, and "a good coping mechanism"?? Anyone with half a braincell can tell you're just trying to seem less like an asshole when you've been exposed as one. Nice try to not seem like an absolute garbage person; but it didn't work.

And this selfishness: "I don't feel safe now! I don't want my virtual life ruined! I don't want gross people telling me horrible insults when my mental health can't take it!" Funny, because I didn't want your gross opinion on why I should just kill myself because my life is too miserable to be worth living with all my mental and physical illnesses. Nice ableism you got there. Also I didn't ask anyone to send you "horrible insults." I just asked my followers to avoid and report you for suicide baiting; which is a very severe problem on the internet that no one deserves; least of all mentally and physically disabled people like me and many of my followers.

"Please don't ruin my life over this!" If you say things online that you don't want everyone to see, that you can come to acknowledge are the actions of an asshole, that's your problem. Don't tell people they should just give up and kill themselves if you don't want people to see how heartless you are. If your life is "ruined" by something you said you have no one to blame but yourself.🤷

And of course the classic "I reported your post; I won't let you ruin my Tumblr life." ...are you even serious? You wrote those words; all I did was take screenshots and show them to my followers so they don't become victims of your harassment themselves- not everyone has the great support system I do, so they deserve a warning about people like you. Plus I said nothing wrong, I just told you that telling people to kill themselves is fucked up and made a post exposing your cruelty so you couldn't harm others who struggle like I do. If your "Tumblr life" gets "ruined" from this, your have no one to blame but yourself because all I did was post the words you put on my posts. I don't give a shit that you're "only 18;" you're still an adult and should know better than to tell strangers on the internet that their lives are so horrible they should just kill themselves.. also if you were actually "sorry" you wouldn't have said more cruel things after your oh-so-sincere apology.

There were even more responses they made saying they were going to kill themselves and it was my fault because I posted things they publicly said on a public platform, telling me they were going to Livestream their suicide and publicly blame me for their death, etc. (I reported those comments to Tumblr for a suicide threat but didn't get screenshots before they were deleted.) You can look at the amount of notes on said posts; this one has 27 replies with only 2 from me so they were harassing me all day with 25 comments while I went to some of my many appointments, so obviously I didn't get screenshots of them all, but the ones I did screenshot are more than enough proof that this person who told me I should just die and was trying to blame me for their mental state; saying I was guilty of something THEY actually did to ME, and that if they killed themselves it would be my fault... For simply making a post telling vulnerable people to be aware of them and their disgusting behavior because no one deserves to be told their life isn't worth living; especially when they've been fighting with those thoughts in their own mind for years and don't need some asshole online trying to push them over the edge towards suicide.

When I was a fucking child I knew that telling people to kill themselves is wrong. Not my problem that you're so cruel you can't see it that way and harassed me all day as I went to my disability appointments finding out if I need more surgery while my notifications were going off at a ridiculous rate as you were trying to convince me I'm the bad guy for warning vulnerable people about you; a person that told someone they don't even know who is a suicidal, ED recovering, physically and psychologically disabled person, that their life isn't worth living and they should just kill themselves.

This person is a threat to the mentally and physically disabled and they need their blog to be terminated so they can't trigger people on the edge like me and so many of my followers and others in the disabled/ED communities on Tumblr.

[gralunaisland]

I have a question.

Have you ever thought to yourself or any antis thought to themselves that it’s okay to like toxic ships in fiction?

Mashima never said a day in his life that his ships weren’t toxic and were healthy so idk why yall be so upset that people like these things?

Toxic ships in exist in fiction and real life. I love reading toxic relationships in fiction. I eat it up but I understand that’s not okay for real life.

If you truly want to see toxic relationships in fiction read Korean comics. They have some extremely toxic relationships in their stories and I love them all because it’s only fiction. It’s a reason why things like this exist because people like me exist to read it.

Is It Okay to Like Toxic Ships in Fiction?

Oh, this is a fantastic question, Anon.

I have never said that no one is allowed to like toxic ships in fiction. Ever. In fact, I've said the contrary, where, yeah, even I like some toxic ships (excluding things like p*doph*lia etc.) where people clearly aren't good for each other but it's an entertaining ship regardless as long as you know it is immoral in real life. If you know you'd never support certain toxic relationships in real life, but still like certain toxic characters together, there's not much harm to it.

My biggest issue with the Pro gr///via fandom?

It's that seemingly most of them deny that gr///via is a toxic ship in the first place. That, and some of them will attack anyone who says otherwise.

That's part of the reason why I've dedicated this blog to parsing gr///via's toxicity, to show why so many Antis have issues with it and because there are so many people who refuse to believe that gr///via is toxic in any way, shape, or form.

I've actually talked to Pros who acknowledge that gr///via is a toxic ship, but that they just like it for some reason or another, and I totally respect that because they realize it's a toxic ship. While I hate the "it's just fiction" argument because it's a dreadful slippery slope, all in all, gr///via really is just a fictional ship between two people of the same age.

You say Mashima has never said his ships were healthy, but that doesn't matter, and that's never been an argument that I've made, that Mashima said he'd make healthy ships (which of course he didn't). Most authors don't go around explicitly saying that anyway, so that's another reason why that is a straw man argument.

However, another part of my issue with gr///via is that it's a canon ship, one that Mashima pushes heavily, and it is portrayed as something to be desired.

There are plenty of toxic ships people make up on their own, fanon, where the author never intended for it to be a thing, in which case it's the fans' fault for making up such a thing, but the fact that the author of FT makes juvia a complete scumbag but makes it so that she ultimately gets the object of her desires teaches the very wrong lesson. He also tries to make her pass as a "good person", having everyone love her and cheer her on no matter what she does to them.

If you make a character do very toxic things, but also make them appear good to other people in the show and make it so they never face any consequences for their actions (the worst consequence juvia ever gets from her sick behavior is some sweatdrops from other characters, but no one ever stops her and many in fact encourage her), readers/viewers might get the impression that that character really is a good person, and that their actions should be emulated to get their desired results. Mashima has even apparently said in an interview that Gray is somewhat of a self-insert, so the fact that he gave Gray juvia as his love interest says a lot about what Mashima desires or fetishizes.

"If you truly want to see toxic relationships in fiction read Korean comics."

I have, and that has nothing to do with this conversation. "If I truly want to see toxic relationships", all I have to do is watch Fairy Tail and suffer through every gr///via/juvia scene.

Thanks for your ask!

[mdhwrites]

Epic: The Musical: The Differences Between "Just Men"

No one in Epic is ever fully in the right. It is a tale of mistakes, of going too far, of lines being crossed and what must be done for the sake of that which we hold dear. Of human emotions crashing against the harshness of reality. But in it, Odysseus is still the hero, still the one we follow and his 'brother' Eurylochus demonstrates clearly why for when they both wail a single line.

"I'm just a man!"

When Odysseus does this in the song who's namesake is this, it is a plea for forgiveness. To hear that he is in grief about what he must do, even as he does it. That is because he is currently having to step up. To be more than a man and make choices that determine more lives than any human being is ever supposed to be beholden to. It is why he is the captain. He is not infallible but the fact that he is willing to take this burden, to take on this suffering for the sake of others, is why he stands tall on the wall, even as his soul is dragged down. It is this same exhaustion, this same desire to be just a man, that makes him try to use wit to make situations he can get out of that don't require him to be more than a man. He makes mistakes but in the moment, he doesn't know, but such is why Athena calls him out for this too. Because to err is to be human, but that is never an excuse Ody makes. Otherwise, he might have had something to say after Scylla. He isn't perfect, you do not want to BE Odysseus, but he is forgivable in how he fucks up.

MEANWHILE

Eurylochus is only desiring it as an excuse. That even as he knows the cruelty he inflicts, even as he has what he is about to do be highlighted as one massive mistake, he doesn't care. He simply wishes to do what he wants, that which keeps him safe while not making him look bad. It's how he would justify his hypocrisy if ever pushed on it. He feels guilty about the windbag but just before then? During "Luck Runs Out" he claims his worries are just because he doesn't want another brother to die, just like Odysseus but if that were true... Why would treasure tempt you?

In every time that Odysseus fucks up, a choice HAS to be made. Kill an infant in unjust combat or let all of Greece die? Let your brothers die with only your silent thoughts to keep them alive or make sure that their story may spread with honor? Admit fault and bring shame and guilt upon you all or use the humanity of your people to reach an understanding, even if that's not what was asked of you? They are mistakes, they play into his tragic flaw of hubris, but something had to be done. Because as Eurylochus even says: You want all the power, you take all the blame. For that is the burden of leadership.

Eurylochus though never has to act. In fact, much of the time he does nothing. And when he does nothing, nothing goes wrong because he is willing to listen to those who know better. Those who are thinking bigger than themselves. He runs from anything that might harm him and then pretends that each triumph is his own to take. His cowardice does him right ONCE during "Puppeteer" but even then, it goes too far in wanting to let men die. Because he will ALWAYS let men die if it guarantees his own safety.

This is why Odysseus, even in a musical who is so critical of him, is still the hero, albeit a classic greek hero still. After all, if your wisdom only ever advocates for yourself, why should anyone listen to it? That makes you a monster, not 'just a man'. See you next tale.

======+++++======

I do have my brother to thank for getting me into the musical. Specifically, he made sure I listened to Ruthlessness properly once and when I heard, "Die," it could not leave. Helps that not only is the writing in the whole thing incredible, the songs are just BOPS! Seriously, cannot recommend checking it out for yourself enough if you haven't.

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[xerith-42]

Stop blaming characters for bad writers

Seriously, stop fucking doing this. While this is a post that could certainly be applicable to MANY fandoms, I'm mainly directing this whole rant at my target audience which is mentally ill minecraft obsessed freaks.

If a character is written badly, gets badly fumbled by the creator, or has the ball dropped in regards to their arc in some way, a lot of people will blame the character, as if they're a real conscious person making these decisions. When they aren't. They're a block man literally being controlled by two people who just aren't very good writers and one or both of them are incredibly sexist, kind of racist, ableist, and just bad writers in general.

Yeah, Laurance does some pretty shitty things through out Season 2 of MCD, actively crossing lines he wouldn't have previously crossed. We as fans can cope by saying something something calling, or just saying Laurance is a bad abusive person, but the reality is that the writers wanted to force the series to fit a specific vision and as a result were willing to do anything to get the series to that point. In order to make Aaron the most favorable suitor for Aphmau, her previous suitors need to be out of the picture, or clearly inferior options.

Garroth suffered the out of the picture, being mostly absent outside of a few cutscenes here and there until episode 81 of season 2, but episode 81 is the culmination of the writers goals to make Aarmau happen. By the time Garroth has returned to the series, the damage has already been done. He's not getting the life he wants. And Laurance is written out of the picture as well, but only after being shown to be inferior because Jesson were pushing an agenda.

Laurance didn't deteriorate as a person due to neglect of his physical and mental well being after a severely traumatic experience. He deteriorated as a character because the writers stopped giving as much of a shit about him and instead were using the series as self indulgent fanfiction of alternate versions of themselves. That's not Laurance's fault.

And this applies to any character who was completely fumbled in MyStreet due to this similar focus on wish fulfillment from the writers. Jess has stated that the relationship between Aphmau and Aaron in Phoenix Drop High is reflective of her relationship with Jason, we all know this. This means that any characters who come off as total fucking creeps in that series (namely Gene), are not actually acting on the whims of their own autonomy or desires as characters. They are acting in service of telling a predetermined story that they are retroactively being added into for author fulfillment.

In this regard I fully support fandom cope and say that you should rewrite your little guys to your hearts content. But if you're going to criticize these characters for their actions, don't criticize them. They didn't do anything wrong. All characters are just puppets in service of the story or themes a writer is trying to push. If a character acts in an objectively terrible way, especially a way that isn't in line with their previous characterizations, that is a failing of the writers, not the character.

And I feel like largely a lot of us can and frequently do this. We're actively criticizing Jesson for being terrible low-key bigoted writers all the god damn time, it's like half of the content here. But when we get into character discourse I feel like some people cling onto bad actions of the canon too closely and I've seen more than a few posts presume some pretty terrible interpretations of characters based on these actions. Obviously Laurance is a character I and a lot of others are fixated on so a lot of discourse revolves around him, and it was seeing some... interesting takes on him that prompted me to start writing this post.

But this happens to everyone. Quite personally based on the character I was shown in MyStreet, it feels really weird that Garroth would make an insensitive comment about his brother's weight. Yeah siblings poke fun at each other and often cross lines, but if that was something Zane was seriously insecure about (which it seems like he might be) then it does make Garroth come off as a really insensitive brother, which just doesn't gel with how hard he tries to bond with Zane despite their tense relationship. And I don't think Garroth should be criticized for making those comments.

Whoever wrote those lines (Jess and/or Jason) should be criticized for writing a scene where a character is mocked by their older sibling over a physical insecurity even if said sibling would not normally do that. It's not Travis' fault that Jesson never decided to give him more of a character beyond "funny pervy guy" that's not funny in every anime they've watched until Season 5 of MyStreet. It's unfair to try and say Travis should be scrutinized for his borderline sexual harassment of some characters when it's not his fault that happened, he was written by writers who don't think this sort of behavior isn't all that bad if they make it out for comedy and punch him in the face.

And god dammit it's not Laurance's fault that his jealousy became the most prevalent emotion he felt. Laurance has always been a character to give into his vices and yet fight against them at the same time, it's what makes him compelling. If they were going to pull on those vices in order to make him a less appealing love interest, he never had a chance to really be his own character after a certain point. Because at a certain point in Season 2, Jesson stopped caring about the character they had been writing for over a hundred episodes at that point. They just wanted to canonize their self insert ship and were willing to do anything to get it.

Laurance isn't an abusive angry person who would have killed Aphmau if they got together. He's a flawed character being handled by incredibly flawed writers who are prone to making some of the worst decisions you have ever seen a creator make in regards to their character writing. He was caught in the crossfire of the adoration he received from a very dedicated fanbase, and the creator who would rather pretend he and his previous arc didn't exist for the sake of her fun. It's not Laurance's fault his arc was stilted, jerked around, and ultimately ended with him completely face planting. And yet still reliably dragging his bloodied body up at just the slightest glimmer of hope (Void Paradox).

It's deeply poetic and tragic that I can describe his character in universe and in the meta-textual sense that way, but we should never blame Laurance, or Aaron, or any other characters for things being like this.

They didn't write the show. Jess and Jason did.

[mostdisconcerting]

Bad Day=Binging ScarNash

I had an interesting day today. Not in a good way. So as one does in such a situation, I went back to rewatch ScarNash. Cuz they’re my comfort ship.

This is just me reviewing almost every scene of the episode so I can forget that life exists for a little while🙃

Today I picked 4x04. And goodness I do not regret it one bit.

Starting with Patrick and the fat goose line. I’m sorry but why did that have to be so damn funny. “My fellow punters…” and “copious amounts of whiskey”, with his very Frank expression shifted my mood from stressed to joyful immediately. And I only now noticed that as Patrick and Eliza leave to meet Carter, Eliza yeets a paper in Clarence’s direction (or at least she tried).

I applaud Clarence’s “shit the parents are gonna argue if I don’t step in” senses. We love him for them.

I’m gonna make a rare mention of William, but I felt so bad for him when Ivy started talking about her mom’s gout. If I was eating anything resembling her description, I would gag to no end. Ruined the poor dudes snack.

Watching Patrick panic is probably my favorite part of this episode. Bros just pacing up, down, round and round, trying to think of what to do. (He’s literally just me but toned down and with an adult brain 😂)

That scene at Fallons was perfect. That unanimous “who?”, and the cover up that “we do love a little gossip now and then.”. It’s adorable and funny to see these to be in such sync and in such odds as they are.

Also, idk if anyone else noticed but she’s holding his ARM in the stables scene?! How-wha-why did I not notice that?

Poor Fitzroy. He could’ve had a much nicer career with his father out of the way. He’s known for being his father’s son, this way he could learn to be his own man.

We gotta talk about that cab scene. Literally, Patrick was trying to make things better by saying “it’s not your fault they left”, and just made it worse by adding “it’s mine, I should’ve never left you in charge”. She looked so genuinely offended by what he said, only to be shut down cuz they were literally in the middle of investigating.

Then they just break into Fallon’s office like it’s nothing and start bickering about the resignations again. She said she didn’t fire any of them. And then she admitted to firing multiple. Which is great I guess. So… we have that. Then they just hop through the office when someone comes in. Like. They have no right to be this adorable. Why are they literally my grandparents on steroids.

Turns out the lines about Eliza sulking started in this episode, which clearly adds to why she’s pissed when he spends the entirety of 4x05 just telling her she’s sulking and she should not sulk.

Then we have scene where Patrick’s pacing again. And I don’t blame him for making Eliza nervous too. Like he said “good I don’t see why I should suffer alone” (which is a quote I’ve been using way to much in real life recently lol)

Clarence makes his grand entry with some food and the info that Gibson is here. 🙃

And I’m finally going to end on those last two scenes of them together (cuz I skipped William kissing Eliza)

Them blackmailing Carter was hilarious. I mean, we know both of them were hella nervous cuz he could’ve just gunned both of them down there but that’s whatever. I love the little voice moderations and the expressions Eliza and Patrick pass each other basically saying “he’s agreed, now let’s get the hell out of here before he changes his mind and kills us”

Then we got Patrick praising Eliza. That could’ve played out to be an even more heartfelt scene had Eliza not seen the time and ran off. He looked disappointed, but he seemed to let it go (unlike William would’ve as we know) , understanding she probably forgot to do something .

Makes me sad seeing potential like this being flushed down a toilet.

They’re an old married couple and I love that for them🙃

[kagekitsuneoflight]

Hazbin Hotel criticism has been done so much by so many people about very real and serious things but I’m throwing my hat in the ring because this is something most people don’t talk about often.

Hazbin is boring and it misuses it’s setting and biblical characters/inspirations. Or rather it doesn’t use them in a way that’s actually interesting.

For a show about heaven and hell and blatant Christian setting it sure does seem to only take the aesthetics. And not even the visual aesthetics. It’s not even clear on which branch of Christianity it’s drawing from.

This is going to be done with a casual tone and it’s not very well structured because I am not being paid to write about my grievances.

Adam’s motivation as a villain is so shallow and flat. You’re telling me he’s doing this for funsies? For a laugh? Adam was made in God’s image. What does this say about the guy. For a show whose themes is about going “not everything is black and white!” It sure does make him (even visually) black and white. Which is just sooooooo. Boring. Here’s an actually interesting idea that also makes Lucifer more interesting. Adam was cast out of Eden, which was paradise on earth, all because of how Satan (aka Lucifer) tempted Eve (and thus Adam) into sin. So why not make Adam’s enthusiasm for rampaging through hell so that he’s wrecking a Lucifer’s hellish paradise in revenge? If Adam had to suffer then so too should Lucifer. It’s *Lucifer’s* fault after all.

Lets not even get into how Lucifer and Satan are technically two different people. It’s a common thing. But still if you went with Lucifer’s actual story where he’s being so jealous about humanity that he went out of his way to RUIN it all for them. it gives him more depth then him being Depressed. And loves his daughter.

It opens so much more that you can do with *both* characters. It also makes Charlie’s motivation to redeem sinners carry a more personal weight than just. Doing it because it’s right. Her dad was the catalyst! She’s taking on the sins of her father! Make her LEARN that as his child, she does not need to feel responsible for what he’s done. (And, hey, maybe have Vaggie be the one to teach her that! You know, the Angel? The one who would best be able to teach how to change from sin? And not just be “haha fuddy duddy no fun allowed” character.)

Saint Peter is in the show. Saint Peter is there. I am not going to get into Saint Peter because the implications and questions it poses is going to make me insane. And he’s probably only there because of how ingrained it is that *he’s* the one who greets you at those pearly gates. He’s pop culture Saint Peter and not the actual Saint Peter.

Now you might be wondering “what about Lilith she’s clearly going to be the antagonist in the second season.” Yeah she can still have that. We have no real basis on how much she’s done or doing. The only real motivation we have is that she wants to stay in heaven.

(My theory (aka what I think would make Lilith interesting) is that Lilith originally planned to try and outnumber and out power hell so then she could try and take paradise for herself. But obviously the yearly exterminations put a damper on the plan. I bet she was *happy* to be with Lucifer. I bet she loved her family. But she’s in hell. She’s in hell and the queen and her subjects do not respect her (if they do not respect charlie or lucifer, then they will not respect her) and when you have known what paradise on earth is, well you’d want it back. Originally you might’ve planned to take your entire family with you. But you just can’t manage it. Your husband is wallowing and tells stories but he takes no action. You start to resent him. Your daughter has heard his stories and has taken on his naïve hopefulness and maybe that’s what you loved about your husband when you fell into sin with him, but now it just reminds you of what you had and what you cannot reclaim and she looks *so much like her father* you start to resent her too. It’s Lucifer’s fault that you’re here. It’s Charlie’s fault that you stay. And then something changes. You strike a deal. You get to stay in heaven. The paradise you want.)

In a good world this is what Lilith’s motivations are. Which is a lot of words for saying Charlie should have this final “the child shall not bare the sins of the father.” Moment during her confrontation with Lilith. (This would have been something that was slowly built up during the show.)

Charlie shouldn’t be trying to redeem sinners in an attempt to apologize for her father’s actions. She should be doing it because it’s the right thing to do. (You know, for a main character, she sure does remain rather stagnant.)

What else did I want to point out the flaws for.

Ah right ass backwards way that Sinners apparently get redeemed. You are making a show about Catholicism you better get the absolute basics of it down. (We don’t know the breed unfortunately.)

Yeah so like. It should be remorse. You should be seeking out forgiveness for your sins. Not doing one selfless act and then getting killed immediately. And you can have! A very very interesting way of discovering this! You can have Charlie thinking that sinners need to become Good. (And you know, What Is Good.) She could confuse Goodness with Niceness. She could think that so long as they just Stop Being Bad, they get into heaven.

You can have Charlie lean into the whole Fire and Brimstone levels of Being Good. And then have to unlearn that! Angeldust (just using him as the example) Isn’t a sinner because he does sex work and drugs. He is a sinner because of whatever he did to get into hell. He needs to feel remorse for his *actual* sins, and seek out forgiveness before he gets redeemed. (from heaven, ig. Who the fuck is god anyways is god going to be a twink. is there a god? if not then wHY IS SAINT PETER-)

(TAKE NOTES. This is a great way to explore a character’s backstory beyond what’s told via Word of God (a la vizzie) and squinting at the aesthetics and motifs of a character and guessing what they did.)

Being redeemed through remorse can also carry a conflict! Let’s take one of the most morally reprehensible characters on the show. Valentino. Let’s say he has a sudden change of heart. Not a halfassed one. (It has to be REAL to make it an actual conflict). He realizes that what he’s done is vile, evil and reprehensible. He seeks out forgiveness. It is granted.

Because the only forgiveness you need (for Christians) is the forgiveness from god. (or heaven?? Ig?????)

Is there no sin that is beyond forgiveness? Is there no one beyond redemption? Is that whole all encompassing love from god schtick actually real, not clickbait?

I don’t know. Hazbin Hotel doesn’t want to get that deep into it. Because they just want to do a Heaven Bad????? Hell Good???? Or maybe???? Both are Bad and Good??????????? Story.

There is a lot more that I can nitpick and offer criticism to, or simply go “hey wouldn’t this be better?” To with this series. Because I think the concept can work really, *really* well. But it falls so flat on its face that it’s become concave.

[mytalemyworld]

I don't have enough time to talk about the episode (there were some parts I love but also some parts I found sloppy) however this scene is engraved in my mind and heart forever. I can't stop thinking about it.

From the beginning to the end… How the feelings were portrayed and how they were in character and yet showed so much progression. How they were soft yet intense. Just like everything about them.

Alaz: Can we talk? Asi: No. Alaz: I didn't come to fight, Asi. I came to talk this time. Please.

Like this was the beginning (more like the end of me), the way he was begging so they could talk…he's always convincing and she has always a soft spot for him when he is desperate but after everything he knew he was extra soft here.

Asi: So?

He was nervous about how to start the conversation, became insecure about how she would react. He knew one wrong word choice could make their fragile relationship worse…His whole body language, his all eye movements…This was the first time we saw him like this.

Alaz: Look. I know what we are is too ridiculous. It's mostly my fault. Asi: Mostly? Alaz: Okay. (*) Let's say all my fault.

I smiled at his adorableness here.

(*) "Okay" makes sense when it comes to clear translating. But actually he said "oldu" which is usually used when someone asks for you to do something as their wish or command and you are like "okay I'll do it".

She wanted him to be sincere and he was like okay I will be and he kind of owned his mistakes here.

She is Asi, he can't beat her but since this doesn't make him uncomfortable anymore, since he's at peace with his feelings now, he just accepted it and smiled.

Asi: What's going on? There's something off with you. Did you come here to overcome your fears? Alaz: You're right. I am the coward one in this situation. I was scared of your stength. You're always so strong, even when I hurt you, you never break down. Whatever I do, it doesn't matter, you always stand straight in front of me. It's like you're wearing a steel armor…that's what I thought. Since I couldn't beat you, I attacked more. I didn't even stop to think once why this girl was wearing this armor. Asi, for the pain I've caused you- Asi: Stop right there. What pain? Where did this come from? You caused me pain?

We finally saw the continuation of the talk between the siblings. (Honestly, I didn't like the way Çağla told her he was scared of being in love with her. I think this conversation should have happened between them, not like this. But anyways.) When after he'd said "I didn't even stop to think once why this girl was wearing this armor." she waited to hear something different. Not his "I caused you pain" talking.

She outbursted.

Every time she chose to trust or wanted to believe him he proved her wrong. He broke her heart. Even when he looked so sincere. But since she can't afford to suffer because of him she completely builds her walls around again not allowing him to enter anymore.

Her pride is stronger this time also she hates being weak.

It was more like she was talking to herself here. She wants to convince herself, "you've been through so much, how could he bring more suffering, he's such a spoiled brat who has everything in this life, who just sees everything as a play, even you, come to your senses, don't fall into this trap again, he's not worth this pain".

She was arguing, telling how he had no idea about the real pain but this time he wasn't in pain because of his guilt.

This is the face of someone who has realized what she has been through.

This time he was in pain because she was in pain. Not his feelings were on the spot, this was only and only about her.

Now he knows how to love.

Alaz: I am sorry. Asi: Don't be. Don't say sorry. You're being Alaz, as always.

Like you can clearly see she doesn't trust him. He says sorry but will forget what he said the next day and hurt her again.

But then boom! He pulled her and hugged.

Touching is his love language, when he can't explain what he feels, when he can't console someone with words, when he feels like words are not enough and since he knows lack of physical touch between people when they need it makes one more misarable...

And also here…when embracing her was also a need for him he didn't think twice.

She needed that hug too, you know. She closed her eyes and hugged him back slightly.

Asi: Let go. Let it stay messy. You can't put them back together.

He has the opposite effect of "healing" so… They are not good for ecah other, she means. She might be broken but he's the last person to make her feel good. Not anymore at least.

I mean, if he could express what he'd done or what he couldn't do, they would get back on track. Because they could talk once and share what they feel. Then everything went downhill, they lost what they had.

But she will choose to believe him again and this time he won't disappoint her. He will fix what is broken between them.

They're just so heartbreakingly beautiful. The way they fell in love with each other is so beautiful. I just can't get enough of them.

[wildshona]

Making Contact

About a week after I was told that Richard's friends had tracked down Amelia she phoned. It was a long conversation after we had spent about an hour sobbing in each others ears. I mean my sis and i had had no contact for 3 years and so much had happened. we have spoken lots of times since butt i bet we still havent told one another everything.

one thing i remember is how i sobbed AFTER the call with all the guilt i felt. i had to get an emergency appointment with my therapist.

of course dad went off the roof when i ran away. i had fucked up whatever plans he had and one thing about my dad was he didnt like not getting his way and he certainly didnt like an escapee from his carefully crafted system of the roles assigned to my sister and me.

my dad had a view - or excuse - that there were basically two types of women - wives and whores. A good wife was obedient, dressed demurely to the instructions of her man, was a good homemaker, had babies and was satisfied with vanilla sex and maybe the occasional blowjob. A whore was obedient and dressed as her master told her, could stand in on domestic things if the wife was tired and took any type of sex that the man wanted - however humiliating, degrading, rough or whatever. Oh yeah she was a resource for friends as well cos she didnt have any worth.

dad had it all sorted. Amelia was clearly a good wife so I clearly was, well you can guess.

the trouble was when i ran away he was a whore short. Amelia said he was distracted from that when the first moved to the US cos he had a new community to fit in to and a new job to get up to speed on. so while he was buying a gun, joining an evangelical church, and getting in with the work hierarchy it was fine especially as Amelia was getting bigger and bigger with the soon to be Zoe.

but then things started to change. dad started to buy her the sort of underwear that he used to buy for me. not he white or pink cotton but the black or red lacy. and he suggested that she started to wear stockings - only round the house of course. then he bought her toys. not dildoes or vibes. butt plugs. Amelia had nver had anything up her butt - that had been my job. she did it of course - she was a good girl and a good wife. and a good wife and a good girl does what her man tells her without discussion or complaint. she knew it was only a matter of time before it was something else and not just a plug.

she was so shocked about my time on the streets and other things that had happened tp me. she did say that i wouldn;t have had too put up with that if i had only stayed obedient. so it was sort of my fault. well i have always accepted that all that was aconsequnce of me running away but that was ok. my decision - my outcomes.

but i now had this massive guilt that Amelia had taken on some of the whore role for which she was untrained and unprepared. i should say that didnt happen til after Zoe was born but stll. i mean she wasn't supposed to suffer cos of me. but she did. we love one another so she didnt say it was my fault tho maybe we will have some sort of conversation about that one day.

at that time we were happy to be in contact again and could tell one another how much we loved one another. tho she still didnt understand how i couldnt love daddy. I mean Jesus...she still didn't get it. She went to church on Sundays and listened while the preacher talked about jezebels and boys who wanted to be girls and the threats of white women having black babies and then went home and did what her man told her to do even tho now she was being told to be a jezebel - well once the lunch was cooked anyway.

i don't know what we are going to do with her.

[anti-dazai-blog]

I love your blog, although (please correct me if I’m wrong) there’s one thing that doesn’t get enough coverage as it should (in my opinion at least). And it’s name is Q. When Dazai and Chuuya were getting Q out of that guild shed and Dazai holds a knife to their throat, Chuuya says something about how Q killed a whole bunch of mafiosi (I think it were around hundred? Idk) with their ability. Which is just, so messed up if you think about it. There’s this eight year old child, with an ability that makes people go haywire, but only if those people hurt said child(if I understood it correctly). That not only means those mafiosi were hurting an eight year old, but it also means that both, Chuuya and Dazai blame it on the child. And to top that off, as a punishment, Dazai locks this child up.

Anyway, I hope you have a nice day/night!

You’re right you’re so right and you should say it. 

Q suffered so much and doesn’t deserve any of it. 

The way the BSD universe treats ability users is something I really, really want to analyze and discuss. People are locked into whatever their ability sets out for them—for other characters like Yosano, this means that having a healing ability means you have to be a doctor, regardless of any other passions you have in life. For Q, having a mind control ability locked them into being a danger that needs to be locked away, even prior to displaying any dangerous tendencies.

iirc, in the 15 light novel, Mori says that he took in Q after Q’s ability was activated and it ended up harming another child. If Q was any other child who harmed another child in a different way (for example, a child punches another child too hard on the playground), the child would be lectured or sent to the school guidance counselor to learn a better way to control their anger. However, since Q is an ability user, they’re seen as a permanent threat for the way their ability manifested itself, and will be treated as such for the rest of their life. 

The BSD world clearly doesn’t provide any ability training, or have any form of counseling for people who manifest “dangerous” abilities and need a bit of help managing them. 

Although it’s horrible that Q was hurt so much and so badly, I don’t particularly fault anyone for hurting him (I guess other than Mori/Dazai for locking them away), since no one had any way of knowing they were doing it. I also can’t really fault Chuuya for being angry that his friends were killed. But regardless— Q suffered so much and deserves so much better.

[One quick point to touch on is that the mafiosi who died didn’t necessarily hurt Q, but rather could have been killed by the people affected by Q’s ability. We don’t see what happened in detail so it’s all left up to speculation, but the mafia would most likely avoid killing their own, even if “their own” is under a mind control ability which makes them violent. 

As we see with the agency’s side of things, when Kunikida is under Q’s ability, the agency is able to keep him tied up pretty easily to stop him from hurting anyone. Surely the mafia has ways to detain their own members if they were to be affected as well. So with that in mind, the deaths were more likely caused by other people under Q’s ability attacking the mafiosi, and not mafiosi under Q’s ability getting themselves killed or needing to be put down.]

Either way. 

Justice for Q, I want my little guy(gender neutral) to do well in life. Someone should buy them ice cream.