#(which is just stress and complaining and frustration and being emotional every single time she goes)

[seekingthestars]

i do not mind my family talking to me about things

but also

it's very exhausting to be everyone's sounding board for constant complaints about one thing or another

[filterjeons]

private show | jjk

✦ pairing: jeon jungkook x reader

✦ summary: throughout your relationship, you never thought jungkook would ask a certain type of action from you. however, you take it into consideration...without the intention of him nearly catching you

✦ rating: M, not suitable for minors

✦ genre: smut

✦ word count: 7.4k

✦ warnings: dom!jungkook, sub!reader, tsundere!reader, rough & unprotected sex (wrap it b4 u tap it!!), dirty talk, degradation bc im a whore for that, masterbation, voyeurism, oral (f receiving), fingering, orgasm denial

Honestly, you didn’t know what you did in your past life to earn a man like Jungkook but you weren’t complaining one bit anyways. By just one look at you, people assumed you weren’t the type to have a boyfriend and you would spend the rest of your life alone. Luckily, you managed to prove them all wrong by being with someone who loved you for the way you were instead of your money. 

It was a blessing and a curse to be born into a rich family of doctors who expected you to be the heir of the family hospital. Despite having your future already planned for you, you fell in love with playing the violin after being introduced to it when you were young. The feeling of holding the violin against your jaw as the bow ran across the strings to produce a classical melody that you’ve familiarized yourself with throughout the years. 

You would much rather be at a violin recital in a beautiful dress playing one of Bach’s sonatas than being cooped up in your room studying biology. However, your parents didn’t feel the same way. 

When you were about 6, you ranked second at a competition against tons of kids who were in their later-preteens but that wasn’t enough to prove to your parents how much you loved music. They took it as a sign of failure because “it’s not being first” and always used that argument against you to emphasize on how you have to be at the top of your class. 

“Mommy! Guess what, I got second place! Second out of a bunch of bigger kids! I didn’t expect-” you squealed, kicking the back of the limo’s glass partition. Instead of candy, you were buzzing with excitement due to how well you placed in your county’s music recital. But what you didn’t know was that even a place close to first was never enough. “Why didn’t you get first?” 

As those words ran through your ears, you felt your blood run cold and the eyes that were dancing of excitement and joy started to dull. You clutched your certificate tightly, tears starting to swell up. 

“That’s because there was a sixth grader who was better than me and she was really good, she can play the piano-” “You see, if you can’t get first then you shouldn’t pursue a career in music. It’s too hard and competitive for you anyways. How about you focus on your studies, especially since you’re going to take over the hospital when you’re older.” 

Up until last year which was your freshman year of college, you obeyed them by devoting your time to studying and only treating music as just a hobby while you hide your feelings along the way. Now that you think about it, you barely had friends during high school since every break period, you were always alone in the music room and you were too stubborn to go up to people. The only reason why you would talk to someone is to work on a group project but it ended up being that you would do all of the work while they slack off. 

Everyday felt dull and uninteresting, especially since you’re being put in a fate that you don’t even want. But like some stupid cliche, it all changed ever since you met him. 

You didn’t even intend to meet him, hell you barely knew he existed. But the night of your chemistry midterm, the apartment next to you decided to have a party which most of the school is invited to and blast loud music that could be heard from the next town over. 

It couldn’t get any worse as you were already stressed from college and your parent’s crazy expectations and you were definitely not failing otherwise you’re dead meat. Normally, you would just try to sleep it out with earplugs but since you barely ate anything but coffee and granola bars and you were tired from the 24 hour studying, that was your last straw. So you did the thing a person would do in your situation: marching over to the party in your purple star-printed nightgown to give them a piece of your mind. 

Already at the door, you could feel people’s stares burn into you, due to why you came to the party when you didn’t bother interacting with people and why you were in your pajamas. Maybe people were going to talk about you on Instagram but you didn’t care, you just wanted to ensure that you have enough sleep so you could at least pass. 

Unfortunately for you, you must’ve looked extremely stupid because you were wandering around the same area like a drunk man. Random people did offer to get you a drink but you declined; after all it was a school night. Eventually you gave up trying to even bother talking after seeing the host, local frat boy Jackson Wang, surrounded by the rest of the partygoers in a beer pong game. 

Frustrated and exhausted, you hauled yourself up to a seemingly empty room and collapsed onto the bed. Not only did you enter a college party in your pajamas but you wasted precious time studying over something idiotic like this. With all of these negative emotions inside of you, screaming inside a pillow was the first thing that came into your mind. And unfortunately, someone had to be the witness of your near mental breakdown. 

“Woah, is everything okay?” a velvety voice chuckled, patting your back slightly. Well, another reason why your night is absolute shit. You turned your face up to chew off the mysterious person but for some reason, your voice was all caught up in your throat. 

He was different, different from all of the boys that ever interacted with you. Despite you being a complete loner, the guys in your high school tried to hook up with you but you were never interested. They stunk of axe and the only reason why they’re “popular” is because they were on a sports team. Besides, you were too busy in your academics to even think about dating. 

You couldn’t really see him but the guy who’s in the room with you looks better than every single guy in your high school combined: his long dark hair in a mini-ponytail contrasting with his cute bunny-like face. 

“Wh-who are you?” “Jeon Jungkook. I’m a member of the boxing team and my family owns a records shop downtown. What about you?” 

“I-i-” “Aren’t you Y/N, the smart girl who doesn’t talk to anybody and spends her time either studying or in the music room with her violin?” Thank god the room is dark because your face was burning up badly. Barely anyone knew you and if they did, they had bad things to say about you because you were so quiet and boring. However, what he said was a fact and you shouldn’t blame him for having an impression on you due to what other people said. It hurted nonetheless though, especially since he was a part of a sports team. 

“Yeah, that’s me. What do you want? If it’s homework answers, then fine!” you snapped, immediately standing up and walking away. You were absolutely done with this night, all you wanted to do is sleep so you have some sanity tomorrow. 

“You sure are feisty. It’s cute,” he said with a cocky grin stuck on his face. Oh, how you wanted to slap it off. 

“If you’re asking me out, I’m not interested!” you fought back. Although you were one step out of the door, something about him made you want to stay. Like you wanted to talk to him. 

“I didn’t say anything about that but if you want it that way-”

“No! I-I’m sorry for acting all rude, I’m just having a really bad night and I’m not in the mood to talk to anyone,” you mumbled, turning on the light. Oh how it was a bad idea..

Now that you could really see his face clearly, your heart felt like it was about to explode. He was dressed in a simple all-black T-shirt and jeans with combat boots to match. What really captivated you were the tattoos on his hand and up to his elbow, each symbol and design etched out beautifully which must’ve taken hours. 

Although you were at least wearing clothes, you felt exposed due to the stupid pajamas you have on. He somehow sensed your embarrassment and gave you a small smirk which made it ten times worse. 

“Well, do you want to explain why you were screaming in a pillow earlier?” Normal you definitely wouldn’t spill her feelings to a hot guy she just met five minutes ago but with him, you felt safe. Like for one night, all your worries and feelings are immediately gone and it’s just you and him. 

Was this the stupid shit they call “love at first sight”? 

“My midterm is tomorrow and I can’t sleep from all of the noise so I came here to yell at the host of the party. Jackson Wang, fuck you and your decision to host a party today,” you sighed, settling yourself next to him. You would expect him to immediately laugh and make fun of you since it was something a lot of people did to you whenever you cared about your grades. Instead, he looked at you with understandment and listened to what you had to say. 

“Honestly, I don’t even know why I went to this stupid party in the first place,” he replied, making you snort out a laugh. As you were trying to collect yourself from his statement, Jungkook’s mouth turned up into a small smile. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t expect that. Anyways, I guess I should get going since I have a big day ahead of me,” you smiled, feeling a small weight being lifted off of your shoulders. As you trudge out the door, Jungkook’s arm stops yours for a second. 

“Do you think I can have your phone number? Not for dating but you sound like a really cool person to be around and no offense but you seem lonely.” “Thanks for the compliment. But here you go,” you said sarcastically, scribbling down your phone number on a random piece of stationary in the drawer next to the bed. Maybe this is all a fever dream, maybe you’re hallucinating due to how little sleep you’ve gotten during midterm week. 

“I’ll see you soon…” he waved you goodbye as you gave a final look at the door. He was interesting but now isn’t the time to be distracted! You’re pretty sure that if you pinch yourself, you’ll be back in your dorm since this is just a dream? “Also, d-don’t take it the wrong way! It’s not like I like you or anything! I just wrote down my number because you asked nicely! We’re never going to date!” Not only did you pass your midterm but your last line to Jungkook in the stuffy college party would become your famous last words. 

It’s been years since you and Jungkook met at that party and a lot has changed then. You started to grow feelings and date him a few weeks after your midterm, eventually making the relationship official in a month. After a few months into dating, he introduced his parents to you first. They were a sweet family with amazing home cooked meals which you were dying to recreate and luckily, they accepted you with open arms. 

However, him meeting your parents wasn’t that smooth. Now that you look back on that day, not only were you permanently deciding to be with the one that you love but it also felt like you were breaking free out of the shell that your parents trapped you in because you didn’t want to go down the path they set for you. 

You shook your head to yourself, not wanting to be reminded of the painful past. Now, you were a violinist playing in recitals and companies and Jungkook was running his parent’s record shop. You were happy and you didn’t care about what your stupid parents think. They can simply ask someone else to run the hospital and it’ll still be fine. 

As soon as the practice track ended, you turned off the metronome and packed your violin away. The apartment that you and Jungkook shared was average-sized, a notable difference from the mansion you used to live in but it was better. You were with the person you love and that’s all you could ever need. It may sound corny but a simple life with him was all you ever wanted. 

After you pack away your violin, you impatiently wait alongside the door for Jungkook to get home. Right now, he has boxing practice for a match next week and he wanted to stay with his teammate Taehyung to be the best that he can but he’s stopping by for a day. You’re not into boxing but like the good girlfriend you were, you attend most of his matches (some conflicted with your performances) and cheer him on. 

Although you miss having him by your side, you’re also aware of how much boxing means to him as it was a break from the hectic life of owning a music store. Another positive in your new life was the amount of music there was, a good break from the science and math that filled your childhood. 

You heard some jiggling among the door locks and surely enough, Jungkook’s handsome face was in your view. He was wearing a black sleeveless shirt and some blue jeans, a very simple outfit after spending most of his time at the boxing gym. 

“Hey baby,” he cooed, giving you a hug and a kiss on the forehead. 

“Hi. I’m so happy you’re back, I was starting to worry that you forgot about me,” you joked, carrying his boxing bag to your shared bedroom with him tagging behind. 

“You know I would never forget about you,” he muttered, wrapping his arms around your waist and kissing the back of your neck. Instead of wriggling away like you normally do, you allow yourself to relish in his affection since he wasn’t a person who did it often. 

“I missed you..” you mumbled, turning around and kissing him. He returned the kiss more passionately, slipping his tongue inside your mouth. The sudden action made you forget about everything, focusing only on him. Unfortunately, with your senses locked on him, it caused you to fall onto the bed, your head nearly hanging off of the edge. Jungkook used your weakness to have more control over the kiss and you, carefully grabbing the back of your head to deepen the kiss. Even though he always controls kissing you, his lips are also full of love and longing due to him being gone for too long. 

“God I missed this,” he mumbled, breaking away to remove the buttons of your blouse and kissing the side of your neck. You whined from his touch, feeling a bit embarrassed due to how much time it’s been since the two of you were together. 

“What is it baby girl, are you nervous? Come on, we’ve known each other for years and I know you can take anything I give you.” It was true of course but for some reason, it felt like the first time you had sex with him. 

After your shirt has been taken off, you unconsciously cover your chest with your arms. You didn’t know why you’re acting so self-conscious, especially since you’ve been a challenger to him in bed. 

“Hey, are you okay? We can stop if you don’t want to-” Jungkook asked softly, reaching over to take your hand. 

What’s there to be nervous about? It’s just Jungkook and like he said, you’ve known him for too long. Besides, don’t you have too much pride to act this way? You swallowed the lump in your throat and looked back at him with a seductive smile. 

“You were taking too long to take off my shirt. How boring,” you said coyly, tapping his nose playfully. He returned your gaze, his eyes darkened with lust and desire. 

“Well then baby girl, how about you take off the rest of your clothes since you seem like you want to do it,” he muttered, sitting up with his attention completely on your chest. One thing you were infamous in your relationship for is being a brat, a mix of you being submissive but not backing down completely. Even though you liked being a good girl sometimes, the rest is just you on the receiving end. After all, you won’t back down to a challenge, nonetheless if your challenger’s your significant other. 

If a person only based off of what they saw, they would think that you were the one taking absolute control due to the aura you give off and your harsh personality. However, at least between you and him since you were one to keep your private life a secret, he is the one with the reins and you were completely fine with it. 

You unclipped your bra, throwing it at some random place in the room and revealed your exposed breasts. He ogled at your body up and down, his familiar lustful gaze running through his eyes. 

“Hey, what are you staring at?” you barked, slowly starting to feel awkward. Unlike you, Jungkook had no shame when it came to your bedroom activities and there were times when he would just stare at you while you’re completely bare. How embarrassing...but it’s no big deal. 

“Watch your mouth you little brat. Do I have to punish you on my day back?” he said darkly, his tone immediately making the back of your hairs stand up. Your face softened, heat forming in your cheeks as you twirled a random piece of your hair, a random habit that you’ve done since elementary school.

“I-I’m sorry.” “Sorry what, baby girl? You’re smarter than that.” “Sorry..sir.” After that word was uttered in your soft and obedient tone, Jungkook could feel his dick growing harder by the second. Hearing you give up all of your confidence and letting him control you never failed to turn him on. 

“Now take off the rest of your clothes, sweetie. Or are you going to continue being a dumb little girl and keep playing with me,” he growled softly, leaning back on the bed frame. You felt like acting up some more but he truly was scary when he’s upset and you didn’t want to make his visit back bad because of your behavior so you simply did what he said. Even though you wouldn’t admit it to the world, you also love obeying Jungkook. 

You quickly unzippered your jeans, pulling them off along with your panties and kicking them out of the bed. The warmth from the clothes were immediately replaced by the chilly air from the air conditioner, your nipples standing up and goosebumps filling your body. It was humiliating, especially since Jungkook can see you so clearly. 

“My precious sweetheart,” he cooed, leaning over you and you could feel his hardened member alongside the roughness of his jeans as he slowly grinded into you. 

“Ahh…” You didn’t know what to say, except you knew you wanted more. Jungkook’s mouth was latched onto your nipples, sucking them harshly while his other hand was massaging and flicking on them repeatedly. You felt your eyes roll back to your head and your pussy dampening, even though he wasn’t doing anything yet. 

“You like this baby?” he asked gruffly, tugging on your nipple teasingly as it sends sparks of pleasure inside you. You only let out a whine in response as he broke apart from your chest and slowly made his way down your body. 

All of a sudden, he inserted one of his long fingers inside of your core, sending vibrations throughout your body. You squealed from the intrusion as your body tried to familiarize itself with his finger, your walls clenching around his digit. 

“Damn, have you gotten tighter since last time?” He started to thrust his finger in and out of you at a moderate pace, trying to get you used to the feeling. As if one isn’t enough for you, he suddenly inserted a second one to stretch you out. 

Your mind was a haze, not paying attention to anything that was happening around you and focusing on the pleasure that Jungkook was giving you. His fingers attempted to reach the spongy section of your g-spot, the place that absolutely had you in hysterics. Surely enough, his fingertips grazed over it and you could nearly come undone at any second. 

While he added an additional finger and completely filled you up, you could feel his smooth tongue on your clit, flicking and sucking on it feverishly. High-pitched moans and mewls were coming out of your mouth embarrassingly as you tugged on Jungkook’s long locks in order to steady yourself of the pleasure. 

You could feel him curl his fingers and touch your g-spot, sending sparks within you. At this point, you were barely in a stable mindset due to how good he was making you feel. You felt a knot building up in your stomach, your orgasm coming close to you. 

“Are you gonna cum now baby girl? Do you want to cum for Sir? Yeah, I know you do, I could feel it coming,” he said tauntingly, his fingers and tongue abusing your cunt and the vibrations among it made the sensation feel even better. 

“Y-yeah, I’m gonna-” you whimpered pathetically but to your dismay, he completely stopped by sliding his fingers out and removing his face. With your release dismissed like it was nothing, you felt annoyance build up on you as your body shook from the denial. 

“What the hell? Why did you stop?” you groaned, your eyes shooting sharp daggers at Jungkook. If looks could kill, he would surely be dead within two seconds. But all that’s on his face were your liquids and a cocky smirk that you want to wipe off instantly. 

“Because I want you to cum on my dick first. It’s been so long since I’ve been inside you, y’know?” he said casually, pulling off his shirt like it was nothing and revealing his impressive 6-pack. One thing that you were always in awe of was his figure. Jungkook was a really athletic person, always finding time out of his day to work out and maintain his muscular body. You didn’t mind if he didn’t have abs but it neutralized his cute face that could easily kill anyone. 

“It’s been a while, yeah? You ready kitten?” Jungkook kicked off his jeans and his boxer that covers his massive bulge was immediately in your vision. You could feel your thighs rubbing together as you were craving him inside you. 

“You’re calling me kitten now?” you mumbled shyly as he sat on the edge of the bed, palming his hardened member. 

“Yeah because you’re my cute kitty, aren’t you? Do you want to take off my boxers for me?” he smirked, knowing how excited you are to see him like this again. Like there was no tomorrow, you yanked it off impatiently and his dick sprang out, hitting his abs before standing up instantly. 

“You’re excited, aren’t you? Don’t deny it,” Jungkook teased, stroking his member teasingly before setting you down on your back and hovering above you. 

“I want it,” you mumbled impatiently, getting excited with the thought of him fucking you until you can’t walk again. He chuckled at your reaction, slowly slipping himself inside you. You shrieked from the sudden movement and tried to make yourself comfortable even though this wasn’t new to you. 

“Alright baby, let’s go,” he said gruffly, slowly pulling out and slamming it back inside within the next five seconds. You let out a scream as he picked up the pace into the all-too familiar rough and fast one. 

“Damn, you’ve gotten way tighter since the last time I’ve fucked your brains out. Feels so good for Sir,” he groaned, his dick completely filling you warm and deep to the point where it could nearly reach your guts. “Does my baby like that? Like getting dicked down where I can feel her in your stomach?” “Ahh, oh my god!” You could only moan and whine in response, pathetic noises coming out of your mouth as Jungkook’s dick hit every surface of your pussy. His veins already made it even more pleasurable and you could feel the tip grazing upon your g-spot, making you even more sensitive. 

It hasn’t been long but embarrassingly, you could feel your orgasm arrive once again due to how good his dick was thrusting into you. As he continued to drill your abused cunt, you could feel your legs tremble at the sensitive feeling and the impending sensation of your orgasm starting to grow in your core. 

“S-sir, oh my god-” you mewled as Jungkook used his force to flip you on your stomach, your face covered in the pillows. You couldn’t feel him inside you for a second but suddenly, he slammed inside you with no remorse and continued fucking you at that fast pace. 

Your cunt throbs as you prepare yourself to cum all over his dick. Jungkook could sense it too by the way your walls started to tighten around him, making it even more pleasurable than the last time you two had sex due to how tight you were. You were praying that he doesn’t deny your orgasm again but there were times where he was that cruel. But you’ve behaved enough to not warrant that type of treatment. 

“Is my baby gonna cum now? Go on, come for me, I want to see you come undone on my dick,” he chanted lowly, his pace fastening due to his orgasm coming in soon. Like his words set off a reaction inside you, you screamed out his name and squirted on his dick and stomach. Using that as fuel to keep going, Jungkook thrusts even faster than before to catch his own high as you try to calm yourself down from your own orgasm. 

“Ahh, Jungkook-” you whined from the sensitivity but you kept holding on so he could cum too. The way his sweat dripped off of his forehead and complimenting with his dark locks nearly made you want to cum again. 

“Fuck, I’m cumming, oh shit,” he moaned out, his thrusts slowing down and surely enough, you could feel his dick spurt out his seed inside you. He started to pull out and stroke himself, spurts of his cum filling up your pussy to not waste a drop. 

You and him started to breathe heavily from the intense fuck as you gingerly pulled up the sheets to cover your body. It’s not like you were embarrassed of him seeing your body, it was a habit you did after you have sex with him.

“Did you miss me?” he smiled, lying down next to you and covering an arm around your waist. You nodded, snuggling up next to him on the neck of his crook. There weren't any words spoken from the both of you for a while, instead you were just enjoying the presence of him next to you because after today, he’ll be gone again. 

If you had it your way, you didn’t want him to go but he really wanted to participate in his boxing match and what kind of girlfriend were you if you didn’t support him? Still, you loved every moment with him and he was the one thing you absolutely loved in your life. 

After a moment of silence, Jungkook broke the silence by facing towards you with seriousness in his eyes. You were worried that something may have happened, so you braced yourself with the worst that could happen. But surprisingly, his words were a bigger shock than any other disaster you could think of. 

“Y/N, do you mind if I ask something of you? I hope you don’t find it uncomfortable or invasive.” “Sure, what is it?” You should’ve known from the cheeky smirk he gave you that he was going to request this type of stuff. 

“I want to see you touch yourself. I think you’ll look so hot fucking yourself with your fingers while all I’m doing is just watching you.” “What the hell?!” 

You were lying if you said you didn’t think about it a lot, especially since Jungkook left the house today this afternoon. Now that he wasn’t there, the apartment felt lonely again and you automatically missed him. 

However, the thought of him also brings you back to the conversation you had after you two had sex after a while. 

“You’ve never touched yourself? I figured that something like that would come easy to you!” “Well- you know I have dignity right! It’s already embarrassing enough that I’m your submissive!” 

“You’re right, it’s already hot seeing you act all whiny and needy for my touch.” “Shut up! Stop making fun of me!”

You shook your head, trying to get rid of Jungkook’s words. With the intent to clean your room to take some stuff out of your mind, you walked to the shared bedroom and started to rearrange random knick-knacks that were placed in peculiar locations. 

While you were wandering around, your eye caught sight of a black duffel bag that was in a hidden corner of your bed. With curiosity, you approached it to check to see what was inside. It was heavy and filled with boxing gloves and other equipment, meaning that it was Jungkook’s. 

He must’ve forgotten it when he left today, you mused, holding the glove to your chest. A normal person would immediately contact him and give it back but it was like a living piece of him, having its name and scent. You can’t believe you already miss him that much to hold onto his boxing gloves for some comfort. How pathetic. 

The smell of him already reminded you of yesterday, when he touched you and made you feel so good. You groaned to yourself as you feel your panties dampening just from the thought of Jungkook giving you pleasure. 

“Y’know what, it wouldn’t hurt to try, right? Alright Jungkook, I’ll do it,” you muttered to yourself as you slowly grazed your fingers to your lower region. You could already feel the slick coming out of your panties, signalling how wet you were. 

You were a smart person but frankly, you were confused on how to touch yourself especially since this was your first time. Memories of the way Jungkook inserted and thrusted his fingers inside you flashed through your mind, giving you an idea on how to start. 

You slide your panties off to your ankles and slowly insert your index finger inside of your core, letting yourself get familiar to your own fingers inside of you. It sure felt different than when Jungkook did it, it wasn’t enough to completely make you feel undone. You pumped another finger inside, giving you something inside at least but it was no better than Jungkook’s touch.

“Ahh, Jungkook,” you moaned softly, flicking your own clit with your fingers which makes the pleasure at least a bit better. You would rather have him with you but it was enough to fill up a small part of his absence. Remembering every time he fucked you harshly was enough to quicken your pace with your fingers, your walls clenching around them and your orgasm closely approaching. 

Your other hand groped your breasts, flicking your nipple and massaging them while the other was thrusting in and out of your needy cunt. You were completely in your own euphoria, the world completely fading away from you. Unfortunately for you, that euphoria is only short-lived. 

An annoying sound ran throughout your room, the culprit being your cell phone. You groaned with disappointment as you attempted to pry your fingers out of your pussy and your orgasm fading away with every time the ringtone chimed. 

With your slick-covered hands, you read the text and your blood started to run cold from the words that were displayed on the screen. 

[Jungkook ♡]

- Hi babe, I’m coming home bc I forgot my boxing bag.

- Sorry that this was sudden

- Actually, I’m outside the apartment rn

You’re fucked. Absolutely fucked. But lucky, you still had a minute to spare to make it seem like you weren’t doing anything. You put his boxing glove back in the bag and wobbled downstairs to the front door. The door locks started to jingle and you immediately opened them just for him to take his bag and go. You love him with all of your heart but now’s not the time to chat with him. 

“Hey Y/N, do you have my bag?” he asked across from you, looking as good as ever. You forced a smile and shoved his bag in front of your face.

“Yeah, it’s this one right? So, here it is so you can get going now! Goodbye!” you grinned, sweat dripping down your face. 

Jungkook looked puzzled on why you were acting that way but decided to go along with it. “O-okay, thanks.” 

“Of course! Now, you should get going now! Your boxing rehearsal isn’t going to wait forever, is it?” you chuckled, trying to push him out of the door but he didn’t budge. After taking a quick glance at you (more specifically your legs and the amount of slick dripping down), he decided to stay. 

“Woah, woah, there’s something going on. Let me in,” he said stubbornly, pushing against you to get inside the apartment.  

“What are you talking about? There’s literally nothing going on! You should go back to the boxing place!” you argued but he wouldn’t listen. Jungkook grabbed your hand and pulled you upstairs into the bedroom and set you down, looking straight into your eyes. You immediately blushed as his eyes held such confusion and hunger inside. 

“Don’t lie to me, only bad girls lie. So tell me baby, what exactly is going on?”

Surely he didn’t know right? You still have some time to lie because there’s no way he knows. 

“I was taking a nap before you texted me.” 

“Without your panties on and a shit ton of slick dripping down your thighs?” he asked with confusion, pulling up your skirt and revealing your soaking pussy, throbbing due to the atmosphere. At this point, you were absolutely stuck in a corner as Jungkook stared at the way you’re completely aroused. 

“Ahh, um..” “Are you cheating on me, Y/N?” His eyes were now full of sadness and hurt and you could immediately feel your heart start to break. 

“N-no! Of course not! I would never cheat on you, you’re the one who I love! It’s just because..” you tried to get the idea out of his head, holding his hands tightly. Jungkook’s face brightened up a bit before being replaced with suspicion.

“So, what’s up? What were you doing while I left?” There was absolutely no talking yourself out of this because Jungkook would find out either way at this point. But at least it’s better than making up a stupid lie, right? “I..um..remember how you said you wanted to see me touch myself yesterday?” “Of course.” “Well...I was doing that..” you mumbled with embarrassment, avoiding his eye contact. Jungkook’s ears picked up what you said and his face lit up with excitement and desire. 

“Say that again for me?” he smirked, loving how soft and shy you were now.   

“I..was touching myself while I was thinking of you,” you said a bit loudly but it was still so embarrassing. You had no idea why he was all so happy right now but it made you happy nonetheless.

“Do you think you can show me?” he grinned, staring up into your eyes. 

“What?! N-no! It’s private right? You see, it’s private for a reason! Now you got your bag and figured out why I was acting weird so you can go now!” you snapped, heat automatically filling up your body. 

“It’s okay, I can skip practice today. This is important, why didn’t you tell me?” “It’s not something I should tell you.” “Anyways, you’ve been a bad girl today. Touching yourself while thinking of me, you’re so naughty. So your punishment is to reenact what you did before I came back and I’m not leaving until I see you touch yourself. But don’t worry, if you need help then I’m always here,” Jungkook purred, his dominant persona on. You gulped down a lump down your throat but you weren’t ready to back down to him yet. 

“No I’m not! I’m not giving up my dignity just yet!” “Come on, little girl. I know you were fucking yourself like a little whore while you were gone. Did your tiny little fingers fill you up completely, better than my cock? I know you didn’t because even though you’re a whore, you’re still such a slut for my dick.” His dirty words made you even more turned on than normal with even more slick running down your thighs. You knew it was better to obey, especially since he’s talking like this. With that being said, you scooted yourself with the back of your head hitting the bed frame. After a minute of hesitation, you lifted up your skirt which revealed your whole pussy to him. Jungkook stared intently, noticing every little twitch that it made as it’s longing for something to be inside it and how wet it has become. His lips were curled into a smirk as your fingers started to graze over your folds. 

Taking a deep breath, you inserted two of your fingers to aid the throbbing in your core. It felt  different than when you did it before, maybe due to Jungkook staring at every little movement you made.

Despite your initial refusal, having him watch over you turned you on even more and the throbbing only continued to get worse after you slowly started to move your fingers. You didn’t know how much it turned you and him on, judging from his erection in his pants. 

“Ahh, oh my god,” you moaned, adding an additional finger and groping your boobs with your other hand.

Jungkook’s mouth was in shock, shocked at how you can look so sexy touching yourself even though it was your first time. His dick was begging to be released in his now tight sweatpants but just watching you like this was more than enough.

He’s never admitted it directly to you but surprisingly, he’s such a voyeur and seeing you wrecked with only your fingers or even a toy could make him cum as hard as him actually fucking you.

“J-Jungkook, please…” you mewled, rocking your hips against your small hands in an attempt to hit your g-spot, where only your boyfriend knows. 

By now, you’ve inserted your whole hand inside of your core and it still wasn’t as satisfying as Jungkook’s long fingers inside you. You should’ve been embarrassed that his vision was at you masterbating but frankly, you didn’t care anymore.

“Shit baby girl, just like that, fucking ruin yourself,” he grunted, slightly stroking his hardened member through his sweatpants. 

“I want your mouth on me,” you cried, slowly starting to feel the same ecstatic feeling of your release. The way his eyes were set on you alone brings you closer to your high as you’re practically grinding on your hand. 

Luckily, Jungkook heard your wish and immediately brought his face down to your core, taking your fingers out and licking your clit like there was no tomorrow. His face was completely buried with the goal of eating you out and getting your cum out of you. It wasn’t a thought that ever crossed your mind but you never realized how much better Jungkook made you feel and how the throbbing seemed to go away after he was with you. His face was absolutely covered in your juices and adding to his warm mouth were his long fingers. 

“You like that don’t you, you slutty little girl?” he hummed, the vibrations of his mouth making you even more closer to the edge. You gripped onto his arm tightly, your fingernails dragging along his muscles due to how much he was giving you. 

You felt his fingers curl against you, hitting your g-spot and bringing you closer to your climax. It felt too good and you were craving to be ruined by him. Jungkook stared at the way you were shoving his hand amongst your tight little cunt, grinding on it as you try to reach your high and the squelching sounds it made. 

Within seconds, you were close to your orgasm and you were trying to chase after it feverishly. His tongue and his fingers were too much for you, even though you received them last night. They made you feel so satisfied and full, always filling you up to the edge and the way he was hitting every spot nearly made you cream all over his fingers. 

Unfortunately for you, he immediately pulled his fingers and mouth away, completely denying you of releasing. The hot feeling and intensity disappeared instantly and was replaced by the familiar throbbing as you let out a groan of disappointment. This was the second time you’ve lost your orgasm and you just wanted to release on him once more. 

“Why did you stop? I was going to-” you growled, your face heating up due to the increased temperature inside. 

“You’re not going to cum when I’m away. Is that a rule you can follow?” he said sharply, licking every remain of your juices off his face and wiping the excess with a tissue. 

“W-why?” “Instead, I want you to send me a video touching yourself but not cumming until my match. Is that an order my little girl can do?” 

You absolutely hated the fact that you won’t be releasing for a while but you didn’t want to get him mad. All you can do is just accept your fate and nod. 

“There you go, don’t worry, I’m going to make you feel so good once I win,” he grinned, kissing you passionately. You could immediately taste yourself on his lips and felt his hardened member upon you. There were more things that the two of you would’ve done but he wouldn’t allow that to happen. 

“Well then, I’ll be off. You’ll behave, right?” he parted cheerily, grabbing his bag and leaving the apartment like he didn’t just completely ate you out and denied your orgasm for the second time. As you heard the door lock, you’re left with your skirt drenched from your juices and the aching feeling between your legs. 

Oh the things that Jungkook does to you. But what would happen if you gave him a little surprise during his boxing match. Surely, you weren’t that submissive and besides, it would be fun to tease him..

“You did great man!” Taehyung cheered, high-fiving Jungkook as soon as his match ended. He shared the same with a bunny-like smile and went inside the locker room to clean up to see you. Not only did he win but he’s going to be staying with you for a while now. 

With a bright spirit, he unlocked his locker and opened his phone to a text message from you. There was an attachment with a seemingly innocent message but once he opened the video, it only fueled his desire. 

[Y/N ♡]

- I miss you so much 

Inside of the video was you fucking yourself with your fingers, high-pitched and incoherent whimpers coming out of you and from the looks of it, it was like you’re about to reach your climax. 

Within the last few seconds, it cuts to you creaming all over the bed and licking your juices off of your fingers seductively with a cute wink at the end. All of that just to rile and tease him. 

Shit, the things that this girl does to me, Jungkook sighs, feeling his member starting to grow inside of his pants again. They were simple instructions yet you can’t obey properly. Maybe it was due to you being a brat and wanting to be put in your place again. 

Well, if there’s one thing that you and Jungkook know, is that you’ll certainly not walk the next day.

a/n: honestly, i’m not too proud of this but i hope you liked it regardless! let me know what you think and have a great day <3

[krisrix]

Saw a post about the "lack” of trauma in Wayward Son, especially in comparison to the representations of trauma in Carry On. Which seemed like a gross oversimplification of the many ways trauma can manifest and therefore came across to me as dismissive and gate-keeping, whether or not that was the intent.

There is no one correct way of experiencing, exhibiting, or depicting mental health/trauma. And these things shift within everyone all the time. The way a person’s trauma manifests at one point will not be how it always manifests. That’s part of the problem.

So, I thought I would offer some of my own thoughts about the ways we see Simon and Baz’s mental health issues and trauma played out in WS, especially in comparison to how we see it in CO.

This is NOT exhaustive. I am likely going to forget many things. But it’s something.

Simon:

Simon shows signs of PTSD, depression, anxiety, and rejection sensitivity dysphoria

These were all things he had in CO, but they were well-hidden thanks to his compartmentalization abilities and the fact that he was held together by pure stress and adrenaline at all times

Pretty much every single thing shown to us in CO is also shown to us in WS, though sometimes in more subtle ways - name it, it’s probably there

Now that he has his own space, his own rules, and no reason to fear for his life on a constant basis (no care homes, no attacks, no Big Bad, no roommate out to get him), he actually has SAFETY and COMFORT for the first time in his life - and he has no fucking clue what to do with it!

He crumples under the complete LACK of pressure - it was the only thing holding him together

He’s developed a drinking problem, neglected his hygiene, dropped out of school, and gained weight due to lack of maintaining his usual levels of self-care - this is not someone being “listless” - this is someone with mental health concerns on a level where intervention is needed

But rather than tackle this, Simon forces his brain to continue its attempts at compartmentalization, and he stops going to therapy

Except he can’t do that anymore, because Pandora’s box has been opened - AND, again, he has no external pressures keeping him going

He feels hopeless about his future and views himself as completely useless

His self-esteem is awful to the point where he is sabotaging his own health and relationship

He thinks he’s showing Baz “who is really is”, but he’s actually just discrediting himself entirely, showing us his self-destructive hero complex in a different way than in CO

He’s still reactive and loses control - he screams at Penny when she uses her magic on him, he’s itching for a fight, and he’s also channelled a lot of this into possessiveness

He still shows his black-and-white morality continuously throughout the book - not trusting the vampires, throwing his life on the line to save Agatha even though he knows it’s a trap, still quoting the Mage, etc

He only comes to life when he finally has a reason to be useful again

He kills vampires and possibly kills Terry - this is not surprising - he spent his entire childhood as a soldier, slashing things, blowing things up, etc - WS is showing us this side to him explicitly, whereas it was more glossed over in CO - but it was always there (he killed an excitable dog in CO, remember?)

He is disfigured - he cannot go out in public without depending on someone’s magic (which we already know from CO that he hates!) or covering up oddly in a trenchcoat

Even with those things, he can’t go confined places - like the Tube - or a public toilet!!!

Prior to Penny’s new spell, he had not been able to sit up straight properly for over a year - OVER A YEAR - he probably has chronic pain on top of the trauma of this

Baz:

Simon tells us he’s “blossoming” - that does not mean it’s necessarily true

Baz has thrown himself completely into his studies, and whenever he is not on campus, he is babysitting Simon

He is still coping with self-destructive martyrdom - he devotes all his time to Simon and does whatever he can to make Simon comfortable

One remnant of their history as enemies manifests in how Baz is terrified to set his boundaries in the relationship - he’s always on eggshells, he’s always counting himself lucky to be in Simon’s good graces at all, after everything

He watches everything he says around Simon - he’s terrified of giving Simon a reason to officially end things - the teaching-Simon-to-drive scene is a perfect example - it’s sweet and flirty and sexy, but also, Baz is SO careful about making sure Simon doesn’t get frustrated with him or the process

He still sees himself as unworthy of love - which is why he would rather have what little shreds of a relationship they still have left, than nothing at all

He is MISERABLE in America - he is starving and being burned alive and gets shot multiple times!! And he never once complains - that’s not admirable - that’s sad - that’s really fucking sad

He continues to put all of his dignity and pride into his external self, both visually and through his academic achievements, rather than into his mental and emotional well-being - perhaps even MORE than ever before, given how much he’s “blossomed” despite not going to therapy

These are high-functioning mental health issues - not a lack of them

He still hides his vulnerability and affections - he still never feels safe being himself - both as a vampire and as Simon’s boyfriend - coincidence? I think the fuck not

He likens Simon kissing him after the Ren Faire fight to when they shared magic, taking down the dragon - he thinks about how this time, he doesn’t need to pretend he’s not soaring inside - and then a few hours pass, and Simon pulls away from his kiss, and Baz has to go right back to hiding

He spent his entire childhood playing the villain, and now that he doesn’t have to anymore, we get to see that this is not who he was in the slightest

He’s the one appalled when Penny is doing illegal things - he’s the one always trying to talk them out of an altercation - he WANTS to be good but wasn’t allowed to before

He IS loyal - very loyal - and Simon uses this against him in subtle ways

He has no idea who he is - but we do get to see him try to find out, thankfully - it’s a matter of how much of this he is willing to accept and use as a catalyst for his own self-actualization - this is a journey he has only just begun - which should be celebrated, not seen as a dismissal of his struggles which came before

“You live in fear! In denial!” - pretty sure that says it all

There is so much more than this, but I am just so fucking tired.

Feel free to reblog, add your own thoughts, counter-points, etc. I love a good discussion. Just be respectful, ok? It’s not hard.

[harrysbbby]

scared to love

Pairing: JJ x Reader

Requested:  Heyy, can you please write some JJ x reader where they have feelings for each other and the know somehow. But like Y/N is afraid of her feelings because she has been through a lot of emotional abuse and has been hurt by people close to her and she doesn’t want to have her heart broken by another person who is important to her and also thinks that she will break him even more but she still can’t help to have feelings for him. I don’t if this makes sense thanks. Btw I really love your writing ❤️❤️

thank u to the very kind anon who requested this. this is the first request i’ve done in a while just hoping it isn’t shit. but enjoy x

Y/N hadn’t been friends with Kiara all that long before she convinced her to hand out with the rest of her friends. 

Y/N hadn’t even meant to become such good friends with her, but she was lonely and the nice girl, with the curly hair who came up an spoke to her at lunch when no one else would seemed like a better bet than anyone.

Kelce, Y/N’s boyfriend (or more aptly, ex-boyfried, although hard to come to terms with) had cheated on her the few days before. She had sat on her own in the cafeteria, now an outsider, banished from the groups she called her “family”. Sarah cast her an indifferent look, before turning back to Topper and Kelce, who had his arms around the girl Y/N had caught in his bed.

She moved her food around her plate, the food no longer appetising as she swallowed the lump in her throat. A mane of untameable bushy curls framing a slender body slouched next to her. Y/N recognised the girl as Kiara, someone she did not know overly well. She had heard of her, and her falling out with Sarah, but that was before Y/N’s time with Kelce.

“So you’ve been booted too, huh?” she asked monotonously, chomping into a carrot stick with the least amount of enthusiasm she had ever seen.

“Yep,” Y/N replied.

Each day Kiara would join her at the same table, bonded together as outcasts. Kiara complained about how Sarah was a back-stabbing bitch and Y/N complained about how Kelce was a cheating man-whore. Their friendship continued to grow deeper, Kiara talking about the new friends she made who she referred to as the Pogues, just as Y/n started to open up about her home life.

Her dad had left well before she was born, and her mother, not being able to cope with the stress of being a single parent or the heartbreak she felt when the love of her life left her, had palmed you off to your Aunt and Uncle, gracious enough to take you in as their own, and send you to the private school of the Outer Banks. But their bottomless pockets of wealth were never enough to fill the void of Y/N’s empty heart. Kelce had filled it for a while, but now she just wondering if instead of filling the hole, she was really just using him to cover it up.

In an attempt to make her feel better and more included Kiara invited her to a day out on the marsh with her friends. With no reason to decline, she accepted the offer.

So, Y/N met the Pogues, who while albeit it mildly insensitive to the fact she had just had her heart ripped out of her chest by a long-term boyfriend she trusted, were a good distraction. Pope was lovely, finally someone she was able to chat about books and movies. John B was like the older brother she’d never had, pushing her to try new things, but being there to catch her if she fell.

JJ... well, he was a little different. He was raucous and loud and absentminded about other’s feelings. But it exactly what Y/N needed. To get away from the money, and the expectations and the lies and just enjoy some time with her newfound friends.

Easier said then done.

She knew JJ was a flirt. He would sling his arm over her shoulder as they walked to the beach, or place a hand on her thigh while sitting beside her on the HMS Pogue. He would make off-hand comments about how good she looked in a bikini or if she was being uptight that she “needed a good fucking.”

He meant well, and Y/N took them as light-hearted joked but she could tell there was more. More in the way his hands would linger as they brushed her’s when passing her a beer around the Kegger fire, or how he would stare intently at her when she explained concepts to him on their weekly study session in the Chateau. JJ was important to her. Which was exactly why she continued to deny his advances.

Y/N couldn’t handle the pain she would endure if JJ hurt her. The wound from her father leaving her was long, but had was now a forgotten scar. The wound from her mother abandoning her with her Aunt and Uncle was a scar, only recently healed. The wound Kelce left when she caught him with another girl was still fresh, barely beginning to mend. If she gave herself to someone again and she got hurt, her wounds would re-open, leaving her to unravel, unsure if she could piece herself back together again. 

So she started to avoid him. And he noticed. And she thought she had gotten away with it, until one night at the Boneyard, when he pulled her aside, their slightly intoxicated states allowing the conversation to arise with nearly no inhibitions.

“You’ve been avoiding me,” he stated as they reached the outskirts of the party, quiet enough to hear each other speak.

“No, I haven’t,” she countered. JJ crossed his arms, glaring at her.

“Really?” he asked sarcastically, “so you haven’t ignored all of my texts and left every room I entered at The Chateau?”

Y/N sighed, running a frustrated hand through her hair. There was really no way she could hid from this.

“I thought you liked me,” JJ’s voice came out a lot quieter than she had ever heard it before. Hearing him speaking so softly and tenderly threw her off.

“I..I,” she stuttered, before taking a deep breath, causing herself to look his eyes, which usually looked like oceans, now whirled into a confused storm. “I do like you JJ. That’s the problem.”

“What?” he asked, obviously confused. She couldn’t blame him. She huffed, her mouth opening a few times, no words being formed. She didn’t know what to say.

“I’m scared JJ,” she said, hands running nervously along her arms. His hands covered them, ceasing their movements, forcing her to look up at him.

“Of what?”

“Getting hurt,” she could feel the tears welling up in her eyes. She shrugged JJ’s hands off of hers, bringing them to her face, hiding her face, now spilling over with tears, “You’re a flirt JJ. And a fuckboy. You take a girl, treat her like a piece of meat and shover her to the side. I can’t take that,” she had started to hyperventilate words struggling to form as the back of her throat hiccupped, “like from my dad, to my mum, to Kelce...I... I don’t think I could... take it... getting hurt by someone I care so much about.”

Her sobs were racking her body as she spoke. JJ grabbed her shoulders pulling her into him. His hand cautiously ran along her back, uncomfortable with the fact he had to comfort her. He wanted to, he just didn’t know how.

“I’m broken, JJ,” she whimpered out, clawing desperately at his shirt, “I can't handle it anymore.”

JJ wasn’t sure how to proceed, holding the fragile girl in his arms. He let her cry, only speaking when she had calmed, holding her at arms length.

“I would never hurt you, Y/N,” he said seriously, gazing deeply into her eyes. She felt herself nodding, almost agreeing with the fact she knew she would never hurt him. But it was if she had been burnt, she was too scared to get close to the fire again. “I would never hurt you.”

His fingers placed gently on her chin, pulling her in for a soft kiss. She was hesitant at first, before letting him consume her. She felt safe and protected as he wrapped his arms around her back, pulling her close.

And she was. Her wounds began to heal. Scars littered her heart, but there were no more gashes letting her bleed out.

 She was never hurt again

---------

lmao idk what this was eeeew hope you all enjoyed feel free to send me any requests for any characters!

[ongaku-ato-kakikomi]

Coyotes in the Dark - Part Four

(A/N): This is part of a series. Please make sure to check the masterlist to see if you haven’t missed any chapters.

Masterlist

“We should paint the protecting symbol on your door.”

You give out a sigh as soon as you hear Andrew’s words, waiting for him to walk into the apartment before you close the door behind you. “I’m not painting any symbols anywhere.”

“What?” He snaps his head at you, droplets of water falling against the floor and disappearing a few seconds later. “If you’re not gonna kick that Veronica out, you should at least protect yourself!”

“If I put a symbol on my door, they're gonna notice that they can’t go in there.” You walk past him towards the kitchen, kicking off your boots on your way there. “And you won’t be able to go in there either.”

“You put a symbol on the bathroom door.” You don’t even react when his head suddenly pops up from the sink’s drain; his eyes looking at you when you reach for a nearby glass on the counter. “You don’t think they’re gonna be suspicious of that? Might as well add more protection-Ah!”

He screams when you suddenly open the faucet, water spreading through his ghostly head and making him scream from the weird sensation it gives him. You wait for him to finally disappear before you give yourself a glass of water, hearing him complain behind you while you take a few sips.

“They already noticed that they can’t access the bathroom. Taking it off will only raise more suspicions, and it’s not like they’ll notice the symbol. It’s hidden under the towel rack inside, remember?” You finish drinking your glass of water, then put it on the counter. “Besides, do you really want one of them to see me in the shower?”

You can hear him give out a squeaky noise, your eyes turning towards him to see a look of pure despair on his face mixed with an embarrassed blush. You give out a small smirk at that, a chuckle escaping your throat right when you flick his forehead.

“Hey!” He screams in frustration as soon as you do that, his hands wiping some water off his forehead. “What was that for?”

“You worry too much about me.” He gives out a pout as he looks down at his feet, the little ghost boy having always been around to protect you ever since he died. “I’ll be fine, Andrew. They don’t know enough about the ghost world to realize how much of a danger they can be to me.”

“But still…” Andrew gives you a worried look, biting onto his bottom lip as memories flash into his head. “… that JD ghost is smarter… what if he realizes your potential?”

“He won’t. I promise.” You know he doesn’t believe you simply by the look he’s giving you, which only seems to increase your smile. “And I have you here with me! The best guardian angel I could ask for!”

He gives out a snort at your words, the little ghost now shaking is head and making more water fall on the floor. “You’re an idiot…”

You don’t have time to think of a reply that a loud groan is suddenly being heard from the hallway; the hair on your arms raising along with the rapidity of your heartbeat. Andrew’s face contorts itself into an expression of pure fear just as you both look towards the sound. A scream escapes your lips as soon as you notice a dripping gray hand slowly moving out from the hallway and grasping the corner of the wall, but it’s the decaying face that follows the hand that makes you take a step back; its black eyes and melting gray skin are enough of a threat to make Andrew step in front of you.

A daemonium got into your house.

And you might not be able to survive it.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“Let’s see…” Veronica mumbles under her breath as she walks through a large number of hallways, her eyes looking back and forth between a small piece of paper and all the classrooms’ doors around her. “Only one more class to find…”

“Uuuugh…!” Ram’s the one to let out that word filled with pure frustration, making the live girl tense up. “Why do you even need to find your classes so early? This is boring!”

“I hate agreeing with these idiots,” Heather speaks through her teeth, her arms crossed over her chest as she gives them a side look. “But they’re right. This is way too boring, Ronnie.”

“Maybe not…” The two ghosts give Kurt a surprised look, the not-so naked jock giving out a smirk as he looks towards another direction. “Things could get interesting.”

They turn their head to follow his gaze, Heather already rolling her eyes when she spots a dead girl following some teacher around, though Ram immediately gives out a loud noise of agreement.

“Yo, dude! Great eyes! That girl’s hot!”

“I know, right?”

“You guys are absolute pigs.”

“Will you shut up already?” JD snaps his head at all of them, making them all send back a dark glare. “I can’t concentrate if you keep screaming!”

Veronica shakes her head to try and ignore them, having a hard time continuing to find her classes with them constantly complaining around her. Sadly for her, Heather doesn’t quite like to be boss around, especially not by JD.

“What? Still thinking about that (Y/N) girl?” She gives out a smirk when she notices the anger flash in his eyes, his white one always empty; his emotion only seems to increase when she points her red nailed finger at his face. “Are you scared that scared of losing Ronnie’s attention?”

Veronica feels her cheek warming up at that comment, but she doesn’t quite know why. You were her roommate, possibly a very good friend (she hopes so at least), so why does Heather is making it sound like you might become something more eventually?

And why isn’t she opposed to that idea?

JD looks away from Heather to set his eyes on the live girl, his white eye twitching when he notices the blush on her face. He would lie if he said that he didn’t hate you mostly because of your effect on her… but something about you is also off. Very off. And he doesn’t trust you one bit.

There’s no way you can be so nice and innocent; you must be evil in some way, why else would a ghost follow you around? You may not have killed a kid, but you were surely responsible for that ghost’s death. That’s the only reason why a ghost is bound to someone and not a place.

He’s gonna expose you for who you are no matter what.

“No comment?” He groans when he hears the pride in Heather’s voice, the blond giving out a chuckle. “Would you look at that? JD is jealous!”

“Shut up.”

She only chuckles even more while the two idiots watch and mumble in pure confusion, making the killer boy grind his teeth. He can’t believe that he now has to spend every single second of his afterlife with those three; either until Veronica dies or they start disappearing. He doesn’t really know, but god… he can’t help but wish they would all just go away. That way he can be alone with Ronnie forever.

Doesn’t that sound nice?

“Um, excuse me?” Veronica’s head snaps towards the voice that called out for her, her shoulders relaxing with relief when she notices that it’s another student. “You seem stressed out… are you lost?”

JD squints his eyes at the girl, feeling a sense of some sort of danger from her. She somehow reminds him of Heather; even though her red hair, green eyes, and freckles make her very different from the blond victim.

Still. Ronnie should be careful.

“Ah! Not really.” Veronica gives her a smile. “I’m just looking for my classes in advance, but I can’t seem to find my last one.”

“Oh! Maybe I can help you.” The girl takes the paper from Veronica’s hands without asking, making the live girl’s ghosts narrow their eyes at her. “Ah, I see! It’s not too far from here, I can walk you there if you want.”

“That would be great!” Veronica gives her a smile, making a movement to take her paper back, only for the girl to start walking away.

“She’s a bitch.” Heather squints her eyes at the girl, her arms still crossed over her chest. “I can tell.”

JD knows she’s right. Heather might be annoying, but she’s not an idiot… and her instincts are good enough for him to take them into consideration.

Especially when she makes his own assumptions right.

“Um…” The blue girl shakes her head and follows the red-haired girl, a little nervous now. “My name’s Veronica.”

“I’m Chloe.” The red-haired girl doesn’t even bat her eyes as she says her name, though she seems to realize something and turns a sweet smile towards Veronica.  “I saw you earlier with (Y/N).”

“Oh…?” Veronica seems taken aback by that, having not noticed that someone was watching them. “Well-”

“I’m sorry she suddenly abandoned you.” Chloe’s smile suddenly seems pitiful, the girl’s eyes eying Veronica with a sad gleam in them. “It’s kind of her thing. Don’t take it personally if she didn’t want to help you.”

“Oh, it’s not that.” The red-haired girl seems taken aback by Veronica’s words, JD listening to the conversation very closely. “She came with me to help but needed to go home last minute.”

“She came with you?” Chloe frowns, then gives Veronica a weird look. “You didn’t meet her here?”

“No, um…” Veronica doesn’t quite know how to answer, getting weird vibes from the red-haired girl now. “I’m her new roommate.”

Chloe suddenly comes to a stop, almost making Veronica bump into her. It takes a few seconds before the green-eyed girl gives out a dark chuckle,.

“So you’re the freak’s roommate?”

JD quirks an eyebrow at that. ‘Freak’, huh? Either he was right about you or that girl is as horrible as Heather was when they were in high school.

“What did you say?”

Chloe jumps up at Veronica’s words, then gives her a smile. “Ah! Sorry… your class is right there.”

She points towards a door next to the blue girl just as she gives the paper back, Veronica unconsciously grasping it as she looks at the number. She gives out a smile of relief when she notices that it’s the right class, then turns towards the red-haired girl.

“Thank you-”

She stops when she notices that she’s no longer there, confusion spreading inside her mind.

“Don’t make that dumb face, Ronnie.” She tenses up when she hears Heather’s voice, the ghosts all looking towards an exit where Chloe disappeared. “You know that girl was using you.”

“Why would she use me?”

“To get information about (Y/N).” JD’s the one to speak up, his head tilted as he looks at the door. “The question is… ‘why’?”

“Who cares?” Ram starts to whine again, shaking his head with a pout. “Let’s go home already! I’m bored!”

“Me too.” Kurt gives out a sigh of disappointment. “The hot ghost is gone.”

“Are you guys really stupid enough that you did not notice anything that just happened?!”

Veronica just gives out a sigh as everyone starts to argue once again, her fingers tightening their grip on her paper.

What’s your history with that Chloe girl? Why is there a ghost child following you?

She shakes her head. No. She has no right to judge you for anything that you might have done. She’s sure that her secrets are darker than yours.

There’s no way someone like you could be horrible… right?

- - - - - - - - - - - -

You give out a loud sigh as soon as you manage to close shut the recipient you used to conceal the daemonium inside, remembering earlier the bit you’ve read in a book about sealing them away just in time. Andrew barely managed to fight it off while you were preparing the recipient, the kitchen chairs and the table now thrown aside around the room. Luckily, nothing else was thrown or broke down. All you have to do is replace everything to its place before Veronica comes back, and you also need to find a place to hide this little daemonium so that it doesn’t accidentally get freed.

“My god! What happened?”

You turn around to see Veronica standing at the entrance of the apartment, the four ghosts always following her now looking behind her shoulder with curiosity. You can’t help but hide the recipient behind your back upon seeing her, a blush of embarrassment and fear appearing on your face.

“Um… well…” You look at Andrew from the corner of your eyes, the little ghost now looking at his new roommates with pure panic. “I… um… tripped.”

“You tripped?” Veronica continues to stare at the table and the chairs all tipped over, then looks at you standing beside them without a scratch. “Really?”

“Multiple times.” You give out an awkward chuckle, one of your hands letting go of the recipient so you can point at yourself. “I’m clumsy!”

Andrew looks at you, his words coming out through his teeth. “You seriously think she’s gonna believe that?”

Judging by the weird look she’s giving you… no. No, she’s not gonna believe you.

But you have to hide the recipient before she sees it.

“Why are you not hurt?”

“You know what? My back does hurt a little…” You take a step back towards the hallway, thinking that your only option is to run to your room. “I’m gonna go lay down. Can we talk later?”

Veronica blinks a few times. “Um… sure-”

She doesn’t have time to say anything else that you’re already gone into the hallway, her confusion only increasing with each second. It doesn’t take long for her to close the entrance door a few seconds later, Kurt and Ram already giggling amongst themselves.

“Bro, you know what we should do?”

“Go watch her sleep?”

“Hell yeah! Definitely!”

Andrew gives them a hard glare, already positioning himself in front of the hallway to block them. “I don’t think so.”

“Aw, dude, not fair!”

Heather gives out a scoff, the girl already walking towards the kitchen alongside with Veronica. She kicks one of the chairs, watching her feet go through the material without any care in the world.

“Are we gonna talk about that obvious lie?”

“I’m sure she had her reasons.” Veronica simply starts to put the table at its rightful place with difficulty, giving out a sigh when she’s done. “Maybe she did trip or something.”

“Multiple times? I doubt it.” Heather rolls her eyes, then lets them on Andrew still blocking the way for Kurt and Ram. “Hey, kid! Why did she lie?”

Veronica looks around the empty with confusion, her eyes soon lightening up when she realizes that they must be talking to the kid that’s been following you. Andrew simply snaps his head towards Heater, certain darkness lingering in his eyes.

“Trust me.” He shakes his head, almost shivering at the thought of the daemonium. “You don’t want to know.”

“I do.” JD’s voice makes Kurt and Ram squeal, the two boys stepping away as soon as the killer ghost arrives in front of Andrew. “So how about you just tell me?”

Your ghost friend stares at him for a long while, thoughts running through his head faster than the light. That much JD can tell by all the emotions passing through the kid’s eyes.

“Sorry.” Andrew gives him a smirk, then slowly steps back into the hallway. “I don’t help newbies.”

It’s the last thing he says before he melts down into the floor, leaving JD with a frustrated feeling swirling inside his stomach.

Looks like he’ll have to force the information out of him.

And it’s not gonna be pleasant for anyone.

[jungwon-crush]

(1) home - enhypen

(listening to the song while reading the chapter is recommended~)

rolling green hills stood before me. i closed my eyes as i laid on the wet grass that dampened my hair, while cool breeze flew around my figure. i should appreciate this type of weather since winter is starting to approach, i thought to myself. i want to laze in autumn forever.

"byeooolll!!! byeol byeol byeol byeol byeol!!!!" a nasally voice exclaimed. i internally sighed at the call of my name. there goes my relaxation time.

i stood up from my position, whilst the setting sun gazed at me, and began to search for a hiding spot. i need to at least give him a hard time looking for me, as compensation for ruining my moments of being alone. i barely get the chance to be by myself in nature.

as i looked around, i finally found a shrub to conceal myself in. so, as quietly as i could, i made my way to the bush.

i attempted to place myself inside it, forgetting the fact that i was a complete eighteen year old.

"owww!" i quietly screamed to myself. even though i wore a lengthy brown skirt, i somehow managed to get pricked by a thorn on my right knee. i guess my kilt moved around a lot while i was trying to adjust my stance.

unanticipatedly, the same voice that yelled my name just a short time ago appeared behind me.

"wh-what are you trying to do? imagine being so stupi-"

"shut up, jungwon!" i turned around to see the boy staring at my situation. his two hands covered his mouth, as if he was struggling to hold in his laughter.

"i hope you know that you look like a cat stuck in a tree. except you're a really big cat and that's a very small tree." he giggled.

"oh, be quiet! if anything, you're the cat. now, get me out of here!"

to be honest, i did not need much assistance. i was just in the mood to bother the boy who kept snickering at my condition.

he sighed at my request. nonetheless, he continued to move towards me. his hands found his way to my waist, while i placed my own hands onto his shoulders to steady myself as he lifted me off the hedge. he then placed me back onto the moist grass that i was previously laying on.

once he let go of my frame, i started to dust off my skirt and shake off the coarse leaves on it. i suppose jungwon took that as a cue, because he began to brush the strands of grass out of my braided hair.

with a hue of pink spread on his cheeks, jungwon complained, "and you wonder why others assume that i am older than you! i really do need to stop babying you.."

i crossed my arms and stuck my tongue at him. in return, he mirrored my actions and ruffled my hair.

"it's already sunset, byeol. we should go back home before it gets dark." jungwon said as he forcibly took my hand and led me out of the plain.

i rolled my eyes, "i thought you said that you needed to stop babying me? come on wonnie, please let me stay here a little longer! you can go back home by yourself so heeseung doesn't get worried."

"i'm not leaving you alone in this area. why were you not at your house in the first place? everyone's noticed that lately, after school, you always seem to be out. these days, i constantly look out my window and expect you to be in your usual spot in the living room, but you're never there."

i tugged at the long sleeve of his button shirt, "i don't wanna talk about it, how'd you know i was in the pasture anyways?"

"jake told me he saw you coming here after he finished his classes, he sounded concerned so i came to look for you. and talking about it helps, you know that. i've never allowed you to bottle up your emotions, i've listened to every single word you've uttered since we were kids." jungwon glanced at me with hope written in his luminous eyes.

"i hate how persistent you are. are you like this around other people too? you should take care of yourself too, wonnie."

"don't change the subject. let it out, byeol."

when it comes to yang jungwon, i can never resist.

i huffed into the air, "my dad... he... he  told me he'd return to lutton last saturday, and now it's thursday a week later yet he's not back. he sent me a letter saying that he's still in the city, his boss asked him to work for an extra amount of days there."

"mr. sun's gone again?" jungwon questioned. he moved closer to me in order to put his left arm around my shoulders. i realized that he does this a lot, especially when he notices that someone is under stress.

"mhm," i replied dismally, "i don't blame you for not noticing though, whether he's in lutton or not, he's barely at home. i think we all know that ever since my mom died 6 years ago, my dad avoids staying at the house for too long because our place is filled with memories of her."

"he's been coping like that for too long, when will he come to his senses? does he ever consider the fact that his daughter has been going through a hard time too?" he commented as they reached a district near their neighborhood.

"wonnie, you know his excuse. he always pulls the 'i work hard because of you' card. i can't even argue with him about the issue because, like i said, he's never home. i just want to distract myself from him because this matter has been getting to me a lot. so, recently i've been wandering outside our community. i don't want to disturb you guys with my troubles as well. i don't like seeing you lot get constantly frustrated over my issues."

jungwon grumbled, "byeol, suddenly dissappearing makes us fuss more. we share our problems, remember? whether they're big or small - when niki's bike got stolen it wasn't only him who went looking for it. all of us put effort into finding out who robbed it. we all know that your father's always been... something else, which is why we're here for you. anyways, forget him, have you been sleeping alone? what have you been eating for dinner? most importantly, are you doing your homew-"

the moment those questions left his mouth, i immediately put my hands over his lips. "everytime i mention my dad being gone in a conversation, you start nagging! sometimes i wish you would stop talking."

jungwon let out a muffled,"im gonna lick you." accordingly, i placed my hands back to my side again.

the boy annoyingly flashed his middle finger towards my direction. however, he quickly stopped due to an old lady passing by who gave him a judgemental glare.

it was hard to hold in a sneer.

he hurriedly picked up the discussion again while he scratched the back of his neck, "you still didn't answer my questions."

"i've been surviving on instant noodles and spam."

"heeseung would approve, but i don't. so, you're gonna eat with us at sunghoon's tonight."

"i'm not gonna oppose that, sunghoon's mom makes the best carbona." my stomach rumbled at the thought of pasta.

jungwon screeched as a response, "i know right! and the garlic bread she makes too? she's a five star michelin in my eyes."

i nodded my head in agreement. we were nearing our vicinity already.

"moving on, what about sleep and homework, byeol?"

"i sleep just fine. i'll probably ask sunoo to stay over tonight though to help me with homework. thank god we're both in the same class this year."

i glimpsed at jungwon to see his reaction, but instead of wearing an accepting look, his brows were furrowed and he looked... displeased?

"i bet sunoo hasn't even done the homework, after school today he went to niki's house straight away. all they do is just watch recorded shows - i can help you instead." he suggested.

"trust me, sunoo did the work."

at this sentence, jungwon's tone became a bit more aggrivated, "how would you know?"

"he did the assignment in our study period while i was sleeping. i saw him finish it when i woke up. he sits directly in front of me, conveniant, isn't it?" i grinned.

jungwon answered with a disheartened mumble, "fine, byeol, you do you."

why's he so irritated about sunoo doing homework for once? i wondered, isn't it a good thing that he's finally starting to put effort in school?

due to me spacing out, i did not register that jungwon and i already arrived at our neighborhood.

after bidding goodbyes (the goodbyes being another lecture of how to take care of myself from jungwon because i am already a legal adult), jungwon reminded me to go to sunghoon's house for dinner. he was about to unlock his front door until i ran up to him and pulled his form into my arms.

his arms went stiff for a while, but they ended up finding a way around my lower back - like they always do. he placed his chin above my head, this way i was in the perfect position to nestle in his chest.

"in all seriousness though, thank you wonnie. for always taking care of me." i whispered.

he clicked his tongue, "there's no need to thank me, byeol. i know by now that my prescence is a blessing."

i chuckled while he played with my  tangled hair underneath the nightfall. his fingers intertwined between the locks, then he released me.

he gently pushed me using his shoulder and said, "now go change for dinner."

taglist: @wonwobbles 

a/n: hiii first chap!!! i kinda hate how i wrote this so i'll probably redo it when im free again djdjdj. anyways the rest of the characters will be introduced in the next chap <3

[honeyoongiah]

Drifting apart

Pairings: Jimin x reader, Yoongi x your friend as a side ship  Genre: angst, smut, fluff, slice of life  Words: 7k Warnings: explicit sex, it’s pretty emotional sometimes :(  Summary: You and your boyfriend Jimin are facing a difficult time after drifting apart. Will you end up together, is there still a chance for you after all that happened? 

You loved Jimin and Jimin loved you.

You had been a couple for a long time and you had even moved to Korea to be with him, but he didn’t have much time and you argued about it occasionally. You missed him and his presence. When he was gone, the world no longer felt complete, like a significant part was missing, and you hated that feeling. You knew Jimin felt the same, but it wasn't easy as a BTS member, they toured all the time and if they didn't they wrote a new album and then toured again, a vicious circle. You often lost yourself in grief, but didn't want to show any of it to your Jiminie. You wanted to be the perfect girlfriend when he was there because you didn't have enough time together to waste it with negative feelings.

Jimin was always terribly stressed and sometimes irritable because of work, but he never wanted to do anything other than being a performer. It was his passion. The only problem was that he didn't have his loved one around as often as he would like.

He missed you constantly and was never really focused at work, the longer you hadn't seen each other the worse. Often he was teased with it and then he smiled faintly, hiding how deeply this issue affected him. Every now and then someone asked if everything was okay, but he didn't want to talk about it. He hadn't even spoken to you about your problems. He knew you were suffering but said nothing to be strong for him. That suited you. The thought of you made him smile, but at the same time it hurt so much that he almost cried. Especially the past months were tough for your relationship since Jimin practically lived at work. They worked hard on a comeback and Jimin took a big part in writing and composing on this album as well. It was exciting but also really time-consuming. You felt neglected, like his love for his job was bigger and more important to him than you and that hurt you. You started to feel like he didn’t crave you anymore, like you weren’t attractive in any way. It really made you wonder if you were not enough anymore and you could tell that you became very insecure. You just wanted a little appreciation, a bit more affection and more time with the one you loved the most.

One day after the rehearsal he couldn't take it anymore and tried to call you. For the first time ever, you didn't answer when he called you. Immediately worries arose in him, had something happened to you?

What could be the reason you were unavailable?

"Oh hyung, did F/N tell you something about Y/N? Is there anything special today, I mean is she busy? She doesn't answer the phone."

"No she didn't, but calm down. She’s probably just not on her phone because she fell asleep or is meeting up with friends. Don't worry.", Yoongi tried to calm him down, but Jimin had a bad feeling and he knew he could always trust his gut feeling.

"I don't know, I feel kind of ... weird. I'm sure something's wrong. I know I sound ridiculous, I mean, she just didn't take my call once. But my gut tells me something is wrong." Jimin muttered, stepping from one foot to the other, glancing at his cell phone hoping you would call back, but you didn't. He tried again before deciding to stop by after the rehearsal. He didn't care that he actually had something else in mind, he had to see you now.

When he arrived at your place, he rang the doorbell wildly and you opened the door dumbfounded.

"Jiminie what are you doing here, you have to work ..." - "I don't care, I had to see you."

The fact that you didn't jump into his arms straight away, didn't smile widely at him straight away and didn't form the typical dimples were the second signs that something was wrong.

"What was wrong? You didn't answer the phone." - "Sorry, I was absorbed in my book.", you mumbled and stepped aside to allow Jimin to enter, but Jimin stopped and got a confused look.

"I have to go again .." he said, barely audible. He knew how it hurt you and it was exactly the same for him. He didn't even have time to check on you, but couldn't stop himself.

"Yeah thought so already. See you Jiminie.", you answered with a tired smile that instantly broke Jimin's heart and closed the door in front of his nose. No kiss, no I love you, not even a hug, not a single touch. This meeting had been very unsatisfactory for him.

But he just went back to work, a big mistake that he would realize too late.

Time passed and you saw each other less and less. You answered the phone less and less and Jimin stopped calling you that often. You seemed to be growing apart, but that burned like a dagger in Jimin's heart. He had to prevent that.

So he fought with everything he had for a day off that was finally given to him and he knew he would spend it refreshing old times. To show the love of his life that they belong together.

He had planned and set up big things, even called your workplace to give you a day off.

He cleaned and tidied up his apartment, because he knew otherwise you would complain, he cooked your favorite food as best he could and prepared the table romantically. Champagne and glasses were ready, only candles were burning everywhere. He had asked Jin to help him and of course he agreed.

So when that day finally came, he brought you a small box that said "open me" with a heart drawn next to the writing. Jimin even painted the heart in your favorite color and made you smile. You let Jin into your apartment and went to the living room to unpack.

In the box was a beautiful, burgundy, backless, tight-fitting dress with matching high heels (but not too high, as Jimin knew you weren't used to this and he didn't want to overtax you) and even a matching lipstick. On top of it was a small folded note, which you opened impatiently. "Dearest Y/N, I'm sorry about how things are between us right now. I miss you and I really want to make everything right again. Please get ready, no need to hurry, and then let Jin drive you. I hope you like your outfit, I can’t wait to see you in it. - Chimchim"

Your smile widened from word to word you read and your eyes filled with tears. So much had you wished for this Jimin again. You wanted to finally see him again and spend time with him. You were very happy, but a dark shadow weighed on you.

Because, as it goes with difficult relationships sometimes, your frustration steered you on the wrong track. But you quickly tried to shake off these thoughts and went to your bedroom with the box in your hands while Jin was waiting for you patiently in your living room.

About 20 minutes later you were ready and happy to face Jimin. Jin complimented you and led you to his car to get in. Less than half an hour later you were standing in front of the building Jimin lived in and Jin brought you upstairs to his apartment before saying goodbye and taking the elevator down again. With your heart pounding excitedly, you rang the bell and an equally excited Jimin in a black suit with a small bouquet of daisies opened the door for you. He looked you up and down and couldn't utter a word at first.

"I knew you wouldn’t look bad in it, but that exceeds all my expectations.", Jimin admitted honestly and was once again proud to have such a beautiful woman by his side, both inside and out. "Thank you. I have to thank you in general for everything, this dress is great and so are the shoes and the lipstick. I like it a lot.", you said with a warm smile and Jimin felt like when you had just met. In the past you had a lot of such dates and he had always tried hard, but at some point BTS became known and with that his schedule became more and more tight. He was happy that he managed to organize it for today. "But I can't stay too long-" - "You don't have to work, I already talked with your boss.", Jimin interrupted you with a grin and finally pulled you into the apartment and closed the door.

He led you into the dining room where he had dipped everything in candlelight and the champagne was already waiting in glasses for the two of you. You ate, talked a lot, and flirted again like you did on the first day. Finally you both had some time for each other again. But Jimin noticed how stressed you looked at your cell phone every now and then. "Are you okay?" He asked worriedly. "Yes everything’s alright, just a little spam from my friends.", you replied as calm as possible and took Jimin's hand. "Thank you for doing this. I missed this so much," you said gratefully and leaned over to get a kiss from your dream man. He didn't hesitate for a second and enjoyed it when your lips met again after so long.

At some point you sat on the couch in the living room, already a little tipsy, because it was more comfortable and you were able to sit closer. You were in his arms and looked up into his flawless face. You gently ran your thumb along his right cheek and looked him in the eyes the whole time. You two usually didn't need many words to understand each other. Your chemistry matched so well that everything was said without words.

Jimin grabbed your neck gently and pulled you closer to his face, he didn't like this distance between you and he wanted to get rid of it immediately.

You moved closer and your lips met again. At first you were careful, as if you didn't know each other yet, but shortly afterwards the kiss became more demanding and intense so that both had to moan. You buried your hands deep in his blonde hair and never thought of ever letting go of him. With a jerk he grabbed Your hips and sat you on his lap.

You automatically wrapped your arms and legs around his body and tried to pull him as close to you as you possibly could, every millimeter between you hurt.

Jimin bit your lip, asking for entrance. You immediately responded and the kiss intensified with your tongues moving. You could practically feel the tension in the room and Jimin stroked your bare back, giving you goosebumps. "That's exactly why I chose this dress," he mumbled into the kiss with a grin and continued to stroke your skin.

At some point he grabbed you by the waist and stood up while muttering "I can't wait any longer." and carried you to his bedroom. Another few weeks passed and Jimin's schedule was fuller than full. But you two weren’t bothered so much because that evening together gave you new strength and your love was rekindled. You wrote sweet messages and sent each other pictures as often as you could. Jimin was so grateful that he had taken the time to straighten everything out.

That would be a nice ending, right?

But fate decided that things wouldn’t go peaceful.

You were feeling a little strange and weren’t sure what that meant.

You took a pregnancy test and were overjoyed when it was positive, since you wanted nothing more than to start a family with Jimin. To give birth to his kids.

You decided to tell him tonight at Yoongi and F/N's, as the others met there to do something in your friend group again. You didn’t tell your friends yet. First of all, the father of your baby should know.

Incredibly excited, you made your way to Yoongi and F/N.

Shortly after you rang the doorbell, a somewhat stressed F/N opened the door with her daughter in her arms. Little Juna grew so incredibly fast in your eyes.

"The babysitter has canceled. But Juna knows how to behave, so we didn't want to cancel today since everyone had found time."

Little Juna waved to her aunt and spread her arms to give you a welcoming hug.

"Hello my sweetie, how are you?" you asked happily and kissed the little one on the head.

Yoongi came around the corner and greeted you friendly before he kissed your friend on the cheek and disappeared back into the living room. You couldn't wait to live this life with your Jimin. As you greeted everyone, you noticed your other friends were there too, but without their son. Another couple in your friend group made it too, but they always carried their child with them; fifth month pregnant. There were happy families all around you, and you felt your excitement rise. Finally the doorbell rang and Jimin joined the group.

You immediately pulled him aside with a big grin and disappeared with him to your friend's bedroom. "I have to tell you something Chim.", you said, trembling with excitement. You were sure that he would be happy with you.

Jimin raised an eyebrow tightly. Unfortunately, he wasn't as enthusiastic as you were, he already suspected something. And if that were true, his whole world would fall apart.

"I'm pregnant."

You waited anxiously for his reaction, but he just stared into your eyes silently. "Aren't you happy?" You asked after a while of silence.

You began to worry. Didn't he want a family with you yet?

Or didn’t he want one with you at all? The panic slowly spread inside you.

"Who was it.", Jimin pressed out between his teeth, still fixed on your eyes. "What do you mean?" "Who was it that you fucked behind my back?!" 

Your heart immediately slipped into your pants. "Where did you get this idea now?"

Jimin started laughing hysterically and rubbed his forehead. "I should have known. That one day you didn't answer my call, it was because you were with him. And when we spent our evening he kept writing you messages, he was the one that spammed. God, I'm so stupid."

You felt caught and couldn't say anything. You felt guilty, it had only been a one-time thing, but since then Mark, the guy you slept with, hasn't left you alone and didn't understand that he didn’t mean anything to you. You deeply regretted your mistake and hoped to save it with this family cause, but it backfired completely.

Jimin shouted some things at you, about how you could do that to him and that he had loved you, he even bursted into tears but continued to yell carelessly.

Shortly afterwards, Yoongi stormed into the room and stared at both of you.

"Jimin, what's wrong? Calm down."

"I can't calm down hyung. She cheated on me. The love of my life betrayed me."

"And how do you know that?" Yoongi asked carefully.

"She's pregnant.” Yoongi's eyes widened and he looked at you in shock, while you still didn't understand what was going on,crying hard already.

"I'll go now before worse happens.", Jimin said and left the apartment with a loud bang.

You looked at Yoongi questioningly, waiting for an explanation.

"Jimin ... can't have children. He’s born with it. He just never knew how to tell you because he was afraid of losing you."

It was winter again. That meant it was time for you to wrap yourself in your cozy blanket and drink tea on the sofa. Your  motivation to do anything other than that was low anyway.

You switched on the television and tried to distract yourself, but as usually it was of no use.

"I'm back home tonight. Minne is sleeping in her bed. See you later, I love you." you felt that someone gave you a kiss on your cheek.

"Mmm.", you replied silently and didn't even bother to look into Mark’s eyes.

Mark looked at you with a sad expression on his face but said nothing and simply left your apartment. After you had done everything possible to talk to Jimin again, but he blocked it off completely and simply packed his things and left, you had given up and did what you thought was right.

Minne needed a father, her father, so you decided to give Mark a chance. For your child.

You didn't regret this decision, you didn't really care about it. Nothing but your daughter was of any value to you. Time passed and your daughter Minne was born. The little one was now 1 year old, so it was almost two years since you had last seen Jimin.

Again and again you asked the boys how he was and they told you he was doing well, making his dreams come true and slowly feeling happy again.

You were happy about it, you only wished him the best, but it hurt at the same time to realize that you were suffering so much and he just moved on. But you didn't deserve anything else.

After you took the last sip of your tea, you got up to put the cup in the sink and check on Minne again. "Hello my darling. Are you feeling good hm?" You mumbled against her head and kissed her. Minne was still sleeping calmly and didn’t seem to be disturbed in her sleep by her visitor. You went back to the living room and cleaned up a bit while you thought about your life. Your relationship with Mark was almost nonexistent. You let yourself be kissed by him, but otherwise there was no touching at all and you hardly spoke to him. Obviously he noticed all of this, but said nothing, hoping that time would heal your wounds and you would finally be ready for a real relationship with him.

But the only one who was buzzing around in your head was Jimin. It was almost two years ago and on the one hand it felt like an eternity the last time you touched him, on the other hand the pain of the loss felt like it was yesterday.

You sighed depressed and let yourself fall back onto the sofa. You had nothing to do, but you didn’t feel like doing anything either. Every day was like the other. Get up in the morning, take care of Minne, take care of the household, cook for everyone, go to sleep.

You assumed it would go on like this for the rest of your sad life.

But as fate would have it, you got a call with which everything began to change again.

You checked your cell phone and saw Yoongi calling you. Yoongi? You were wondering what he could want as you answered.

"Yoongi?" - "Y/N? No matter what, don't open the door!"

Startled but above all surprised, you opened your eyes and stared at your free hand. "And why?" - "Doesn't matter, trust me. It's not good. Don't answer no matter how often the doorbell rings. I'll be with you in an hour."

Without saying anything else, Yoongi hung up and you were still staring at your hand in confusion. Why shouldn't you open the door? Who would come and what would happen if you opened anyway? You sat cross-legged in front of the TV, but didn't concentrate on what was going on in the series. You stared at the door and waited for something to stir.

This was the first time in a long time that anything exciting happened in your life, so there was a tingle in your stomach. Suddenly there was a violent knock on your door and although you had stared at it and waited exactly for this to happen, you twitched in shock.

You put your covers aside and walked slowly towards the door. Except for a knock every 2 seconds, nothing could be heard. You couldn't make out who it was because you couldn't hear a voice and the person held a hand over the spy on the door.

Should you really open it? Yoongi sure didn’t warn you for nothing and if he even wanted to come by, it had to be something really serious. However, something inside you said you should open that door. You slowly lifted your hand and put it on the doorknob, gently pushed it down and pulled the door open.

Since the person had put his hand on the spy and apparently supported himself on the door, he stumbled a little step inward. "I didn't think you'd open." Jimin slurred and grinned a little at you. Those were the first words you had heard from Jimin's mouth in 2 years, the first time you faced each other again.

"Why shouldn't I open?” 

"I know that Yoongi called you. Thank you for always having your own head and never listening to others.", Jimin said and smiled again, closed the door behind him and leaned against the wall. He ran his hand through his hair and took a look around. "Nothing has changed." - "Have you been drinking?", you asked worriedly. Jimin wasn't a great drinker, he didn't really like it and stayed away from it most of the time. At least that was what you knew back then. "Don't worry, I'm used to it.", he giggled and held his head, apparently feeling dizzy.

You pulled him onto the sofa and grabbed your cell phone, quickly walking to the bedroom to make a call. "Yoongi, you don't need to come."

"So he's already there and you opened the door. Damn Y/N, can't you listen to someone just for once? It's not good for both of you. Jimin drinks a lot and has thrown his life away since you broke up. Every time he drank he wanted to see you but we stopped him, he should forget you and move on but he never could. Strangely enough, he escaped us today and we didn't find him again.”

"But I want to talk to him."

Yoongi knew he couldn't win this battle and gave up. He had tried his best to protect you two, but if you were so stubborn and wanted each other, maybe you just belonged to each other. No matter how much pain you had to go through. "Do what you need to do but take good care of him." You dialed the next number and waited for someone to answer it.

"Honey, is everything all right? You never call me."

"Please sleep at a friend’s today, I need time for myself and a little distance. We'll see you again tomorrow." you said and didn't wait for an answer but hung up straight away.

Sighing, you threw your cell phone on the bed and stared out the window until you could feel warm hands around you hips pulling you closer.

Jimin slowly laid his head on your shoulder and completely enclosed your body with his arms. "I missed you so much, jagi.", he whispered in your ear and gave you goosebumps all over your body. Immediately a tear ran down your cheek, but you made no move to wipe it away. "I missed you too, chim.", you whispered back just as softly.

When Jimin heard that you still called him that after all these years, he buried his face in your hair and tried to hold back his tears.

"You should go to sleep. You have been drinking and probably regret what you are doing when you wake up in the morning." Jimin immediately shook his head vigorously and began to distribute small, gentle kisses on your neck. You drew in a sharp breath in surprise, but tilted your head to give him more space. You hadn't let anyone close to you for two years.

Jimin remembered exactly where your weak point were and began to suck and bite the area. You moaned slightly and Jimin grinned against your skin, his breath tickling pleasantly.

"Jimin .. stop ..", you tried to say, but wished for nothing more than that he wouldn't listen to you. "How am I supposed to stop when you say my name like that?", he growled against your shoulder and began to run his hands over your body.

But apprupt he stopped and stood motionless for a few seconds.

"Jimin?", you asked, unable to see his face as you were still leaning your back on him. You were afraid that he had changed his mind and would decide to leave now. "That guy had been touching you like that since we last saw each other, right?” You immediately shook your head. "I didn't let anyone touch me like that again."

Jimin let out a relieved breath and pulled you a little closer to him. "Me neither. It's been way too long ...", he muttered and ran his hands under your top. Finally feeling Jimin's touch on your skin again made you gasp again. "Did you miss me that much?" He whispered against your ear and then bit it lightly. You could only nod.

"Tell me that you missed me."

"I missed you so much Jimin."

"Tell me that you are sorry."

"I cannot put into words how much I regret it. I am so sorry for what I did. Not a day goes by that I do not regret it."

"Tell me you love me. Me and only me."

"I only love you Jimin and I will never love anyone else."

"Tell me you want me."

"I want you Jimin."

"Good girl," he breathed against your skin as one hand wandered into your pants. You sighed in relish and made Jimin move his hand even faster. Your body shook slightly and you breathed in and out irregularly. You longed for Jimin's lips and wanted to turn around, but Jimin wouldn't let that happen.

"Not yet, baby." You could feel that Jimin was also aroused so you rubbed your body against his. "That's unfair, I have the upper hand here. Stop turning me on so much." Jimin replied in response and made you grin. You continued to move your ass against his already hardening dick, earning a groan in response. "I can't wait any longer." Jimin muttered and pulled his hand out. He turned you  towards him and took off your top before doing the same with his.

You gently stroked Jimin's chest and bit your lower lip. Jimin grinned when he noticed how you admired his body and grabbed your ass. You jumped and wrapped your legs around his waist, your hands around his neck. He pressed you against the wall next to you and only a few millimeters separated your lips. "Say my name", he breathed against your lips.

"Jimin .."

"I'm the only one who can touch you like that. I'm the only one you can touch like that. My name is the only one you can moan. Understand?” You nodded.

"I'll make sure everyone knows." He began to bite and suck on your neck again, only stronger this time. You whimpered softly, stroking his hair and enjoying his lips on you. There were so many nights you dreamed of this to happen again. After a while he stopped and looked at his work. He nodded happily to himself and looked at your face again.

Finally your lips touched and the tears quietly rolled down your face. His lips were still as soft as they were back then and even though he had drunk alcohol he still tasted like strawberries. Jimin noticed your tears and removed a hand from your bottom to wipe them away from your cheek. "You will never have another reason to cry, I promise you.", he whispered and placed soft kisses on your lips. You pulled him closer and made out passionately, the tension of two years finally breaking down. Two years of pain, two years of regret and longing after each other. Two years of wishing that things turned out different, but now was the time to destroy the circle. All you could think about was you and him, your Jimin kissing all over your skin and stroking your body as if he didn’t know it best already.  "Jimin ... how long are you going to keep me waiting?", you breathed out. You really enjoyed this, but you needed more. You needed all of him and you could tell that he felt the same way. “No wait anymore, we waited for way too long with this.”, he replied and brought you over to your bed. He put you down gently and hovered above immediately, kissing every spot of your exposed skin. Normally you would close your eyes to concentrate on the feeling, but there was no way you could look away now. You still couldn’t believe that this really happened, suddenly you felt as drunk as Jimin probably was and you were afraid as soon as you closed your eyes, you’d realize that it’s all just a dream. “You’re still so so stunning, nothing changed.”, he mumbled against your stomach. “You only got more beautiful with time.” You felt your cheeks turning red. Mark told you things like this all the time, but they never made you feel like Jimin's words did. Jimin opened his pants and you did the same. “Hey, I wanted to do that in a second.”, he said with a pout. You chuckled. “I’m sorry, I just have no patience at all, I really need to feel you now.” As soon as you both were fully naked, Jimin placed himself between your legs and began to kiss your breasts while his hand stroked all over your body. You watched how his dick twitched with every moan and whine coming from your lips, especially when it was his name. Jimin stroked your thighs and looked into your eyes. “I will make you mine again.”, he groaned against your lips while he entered you slowly. You gasped softly, feeling how his dick stretched you out. Both of you could tell that the last time was long ago, way too long ago. Jimin didn’t move, instead he caressed your body with soft kisses and strokes over your skin. You buried a hand into his hair and noticed that he let it grow a bit, it seemed like he even dyed it a shade lighter than you were used to but it looked amazing on him. Your lips found their way to his neck, kissing up to his ear before you asked him to move. He began to move his body against yours, thrusting into you slow but steady. You moaned, stroking over his sides and his back while you started to roll your hips against his. “God I missed feeling you, I missed feeling you close.”, he whispered into your ear. “I love you so much, Y/N.” You held him close, moaning into the kiss while you made out longingly. “I love you too, so much.”, you replied with a shaky voice. You were sure you would cry if you weren’t so full of lust right now. “Faster Jimin, please.”, you whined, rolling your hips more desperately than before. He granted your wish and thrusted into you faster, deeper, harder. “You feel so good around me baby, you’re all mine.”, he groaned and continued to mark your neck. There was almost no space left to do so, but he didn’t mind. Jimin just moved his lips to your shoulder and then to your collarbone and your chest. You pulled his hair softly as you began to clench around him, your orgasm building up in your lower stomach. Jimin noticed and moved against you just the way he knew it would drive you crazy, he still knew your body so well, you thought. “Say that you’re mine Y/N, tell me who you belong to.”, Jimin demanded and licked around your sensitive nipple. “Y-you Jimin I only belong to you.”, you whined desperately, the noises you made becoming louder the faster Jimin thrusted into you. “I always belonged to you Jimin, I never stopped being yours.” He loved to hear this from you, the past years were way too painful to even think about it anymore. All he wanted to do was to forget and start over with you, finally starting a life with the love of his life. Jimin was lost in you and you felt the same way as your bodies pressed against each other while your tongues played your old melody together. It didn’t take much longer for both of you to come undone, the intense ecstasy rushing through every cell of your bodies. You moaned each other’s names while you came, holding each other close after cooling down. Jimin buried his head in your neck, kissing your skin lazily. You smiled contently, stroking his back and just enjoying the moment fully, You didn’t feel like this for so long that it was more than just a blessing to you, it saved your life, made it worth living again. For a while you just lay there without saying a word, because you never needed any words to understand each other. You just needed to be with the other to speak without making a noise. Slowly though, you drifted off to sleep with a smile on your lips, noticing that Jimin snored softly already. 

The warm rays of the sun shone in your face and you heard your daughter laughing softly while you woke up. You carefully opened your eyes and sat up. You took a look at the empty space next to you in bed. Had he changed his mind?

But it made no sense that he was already gone because you were still wearing his shirt.

Maybe he just left without waking you up to not make things embarrassing? Maybe he had been picked up from someone that had brought him a shirt? You started to feel sick and decided to get up. With quick steps you went to the kitchen from which you heard the noises and saw how Jimin cooked while holding your little daughter in his arms. 

You made no noise and enjoyed the view that you had wanted to see for so long.

Jimin turned the pancake before putting the spatula to the side and now holding Minne with both arms. She put her little hands on his face and he smiled at her lovingly.

"Usually she doesn't let people get close to her that fast.", you said and Jimin immediately looked at the door.

"So that's Minne. Yoongi told me about her." You went up to Jimin and he gave you Minne on your arm. "What do we do now?", you asked carefully, scared what the answer might be. Jimin frowned in confusion. "Well, first of all I wanted to have breakfast, but if I see you in my shirt like that, we could prepone round two.", he said and grinned cheekily.

You laughed and hit his arm playfully before quickly getting Minne back into bed.

"I'm serious Jimin. You acted rashly yesterday, maybe you regret it. I am not angry if that’s the case. I did something terrible to you and I can understand if you cannot forgive me. You owe me nothing." - "I don't want to lie to you, it hurt like hell when I found out what you did. But these two years without you hurt a lot more. My anger faded away more and more and only my pain remained. Especially the pain not to have you with me anymore." Jimin walked up to you and pulled you into his embrace. "Yesterday you told me that you only love me, that you will always love and that you missed me. I want to hold onto this and try again, make it better this time. I don't want to say what you did wasn’t wrong, but if I had been there for you more I wouldn't have driven you into someone else's arms. I promise to be a better man than I was, that means only if you still want me.” You grabbed Jimin's neck and pulled him down to kiss him. After that, you placed a hundred little kisses all over his face and made him laugh. "Is that a yes?"

"Of course that's a yes. I love you Jiminie and I'll never let you go again."

Jimin and you decided not to change clothes yet and to take a rest on the couch after breakfast. However, he couldn't keep his fingers off you and kept pulling the shirt you were wearing a little higher to stroke your skin underneath. "Jiminie don't do that, I'm still in pain from yesterday I need a bit more time.", you laughed and Jimin pouted. "I've only just got you back and you're forbidding me to satisfy my needs."

Jimin pulled you onto his lap and kissed you gently. "You don't get what you want like that chim.", you laughed, but put your hands around his neck and pulled him closer to you.

Jimin grinned into the kiss. "Apparently yes," he muttered as you kissed him deeply.

But suddenly you heard how the door was unlocked and jumped away from Jimin, who just looked at you questioningly. "Hello darling, I hope you have gained enough distance, I missed you -", Mark's gaze met Jimin's and he fell silent. You only looked from one to the other and were slowly getting scared, if looks could kill both would be dead now.

At some point, Jimin's gaze broke away from Mark and he looked at you. "I thought there was nothing?" - "There wasn't ..."

"Oh, so our relationship was nothing?", Mark raised his voice.

"I did it for Minne! She needed her father and I thought it was the right thing ..." You fell silent. "So you lied yesterday?" Jimin asked coldly. "No, I didn't! Nothing ever happened between us." Mark ran up to you, but Jimin immediately stood protectively in front of you and looked at him aggressively. "Come one step closer and it won’t turn out good for you."

"Y/N, let's talk about it. We are Minne's parents, don't you want to be able to offer her an intact family?", Mark ignored Jimin's words and spoke directly to you. You wanted the best for your daughter, but you also wanted the best for yourself. You didn't want to lose Jimin again. "Please go, Mark. We'll talk another time about how we manage everything regarding Minne, okay?.", you tried to say calmly, but your voice was still trembling. “You are her father and you always will be. But my love life does not depend on this. I’m sure we will find a good solution that will make everyone happy.” You were sorry to the marrow, but you loved Jimin more than anything and there was no point in denying it.

"You can't be serious?", Mark asked with a sarcastic laugh and took a step closer.

"Didn't you hear her?" Jimin pressed out. You immediately noticed how angry Jimin got and that his patience would soon find an end, so you put your hand comfortingly on his back and he let out a heavy breath. “Mark, I am really sorry that my decision hurts you, but this isn’t right for us. I am not happy and I’m sure you are not happy with me either. I never gave you what you needed and you are someone that deserves more than this.”, you tried to explain and you meant every word of it. “I really like you and I want you to be a part of my and Minnes life, but in a different way. I’m sorry.”

Without another word, Mark stormed out of the apartment and slammed the door behind him. Jimin turned to you and looked at you with raised eyebrows.

"I didn't lie, nothing happened between us. He only kissed me now and then, but otherwise nothing happened. We didn’t even call it a relationship."

"He cuddled with you, saw you every day and touched you. Just because you didn't have sex I'm not completely relieved.” You sighed in frustration. "I understand you, but you really don't have to worry, I never wanted him the way I want you." Suddenly you felt Jimin's tight grip on your waist and how he pressed you against the wall. "You were a bad girl when I was gone," he said quietly, looking straight into your eyes. You looked at him in surprise and opened your mouth, but said nothing.

"Do I have to punish you?"

"Jiminie...?"

"It’s Jimin for you.", he corrected you and gave you a cheeky grin.

"What-"

"Hush baby, don't say anything," he whispered against your lips.  "I didn't like the way he looked at you at all. That he always had you with him for the last few years. That makes me very sad." Jimin licked his lips playfully and lightly touched yours with it.

"You'll have to make it up to me. I thought about round two we were talking about already...” You sighed in relief as you heard his chuckle. “Hey stop! I thought you were seriously upset about Mark, but then this..."

"I am really upset about it. But I can't do anything about it, I can't blame you for thinking of your daughter. I love you and I wanted to use my jealousy for both of us at least."

"You're crazy," you muttered, giggling against Jimin's chest, as he pulled you closer in his arms. "Crazy about you." He kissed your forehead and sighed happily.

"Part of me wishes that Mark never comes near you, but I understand that he's Minne's dad. I can't just push myself in between. I'm sorry if I might be in a bad mood in the future when he’s over to visit Minne, but be sure that I can understand."

"You really are the most understanding man that I know.", you stated astonished and once again overjoyed to be able to call him your boyfriend again. 

[just-a-creep-babe]

~Matchup~

Commissioned by @folliaght tysm babe 🥰❤️

Requests are closed!

Masterlist: x

I match you with: Jane the Killer

With how madly in love Jeff was with you, there was no way in hell you would’ve been able to get away without some kind of outside help

Jane, knowing and loathing Jeff after being one of his many (many) victims, knew what it would take to save you

She was able to free you & give you a safe place to lay low for a while, which is actually how your relationship began c:

After spending time with you every day, she started seeing why he was so enamored with you

But, of course, knowing what you’d just been through, she was reluctant to make any moves

Homegirl wanted to give you all the time you needed to heal, after all

So she kept her distance—pretending to ignore the way your smile made her heart flutter & the way your lips always seemed to draw her attention

Without realizing, she ended up overdoing it

She wanted to spare you both from her developing feelings, but in her attempts, she ended up being way too cold & aloof

It’s only when you confronted her about avoiding you all the time that she finally came clean :”)

She made sure you didn’t feel any pressure at all to be with her + made it abundantly clear that she just needed to get this confession off her chest

She‘s, admittedly, surprised and absolutely elated when you tell her you’re ready for a new relationship

She’ll take things at a ~snail’s pace~ from the very beginning to make sure you’re comfortable with everything

She’ll also make sure she knows all about your boundaries so she doesn’t accidentally cross any of them :”)

Highkey drinks her respect women juice every 👏single 👏day 👏so you can bet your tush she’ll give you all the space you need when ya need it

She’s a great listener too—always super attentive + great at empathizing & validating your feelings <3

She’ll do her best to fulfill your needs to make up for all of the bad relationships you’ve had to deal with in the past

*Cough* Jeff *cough*

She just thinks you deserve way better than what you’ve been given & wants to make it up somehow, y’know? 🥰🥰

She fucking adores how soft & sweet you look in the clothes you wear

Loves the mix of delicate and feminine with that classic, natural tone to it ☺️👌

You just have such a cute style—every time she sees you she has to resist smothering your face in lovely little kissies uwu

She admires how, after everything you’ve been through, you’re still not afraid of being yourself & experiencing vulnerability/emotional depth

While she typically listens to rock & heavier types of music, she’ll try to get into classical music for you—and whenever she’s too worked up or stressed & you’re not there to calm her down, she’ll put on a track that reminds her of you & it’ll immediately soothe her

You’re just so lovely, she loves you to bits 🥺✨

Loves lazy days where she’ll prepare some tea or hot chocolate and snuggle up w/ you on the couch under a big warm blanket while you play animal crossing

Because of how attentive she is, one way or another, whether you tell her or she finds out on her own, she’ll learn about your past with your eating disorder

She trusts that you’re much healthier now & can look after yourself, but she’ll still watch out if you start showing signs that you might be re-experiencing some symptoms

And she loves cooking healthy food with/for you so she can make sure you’re nice & full of them good nutrients ^^

She’s a pretty decent cook, but she does mess up sometimes, so she’ll either come to you for help, or y’all will just order takeout while watching some old-timey cartoons :3

It’s actually a Sunday tradition for y’all to wake up & enjoy breakfast while watching cartoons ^^

It’s a super comforting ritual; the stress of the week just melts away & you can both enjoy each other’s presence in peace <3

And after that, she’ll take you downtown to scour second hand shops & y’all will spend the day window-shopping/exploring out & about :>

If anyone dares to make misogynistic comments or try to flirt with you while you’re together, she will end them

Not in your presence though, ofc

No, while in front of you, she’ll just as easily shut them down & humiliate them so bad they’ll immediately regret it

Homegirl’s got some claws and she’s not afraid to show them, especially when your comfort is at stake

She wants you to be as happy & carefree as possible; even if she knows you can handle yourself & are mostly unfazed by what other people think, there’s no way in hell she’s gonna let others try to bring you down

She’s sUPER protective of you tbh

Although she can’t always hang around & watch anime w/ ya sometimes because of how busy she is, she‘ll always make time in her schedule to participate in some of the hobbies you enjoy ^^

She gets way too frustrated trying to sew and it’s actually kind of cute & funny when she tries lmfaoo, but like I mentioned, she enjoys cooking/baking & she also really likes drawing

Seriously, she loves art & is pretty skilled at it too!

She makes for quite the teacher ;)

And even though she’s got a personal vendetta against sewing, she’ll still encourage you by looking up cool patterns & designs for clothing inspiration to try out

Wants 👏to 👏see 👏you 👏flourish 👏

She’s sO damn proud of the progress you’ve made to get to the point where you are now

She knows things haven’t always been easy, which is why she’s always there for you & gives you as much time & attention as you need

She also does everything in her power to keep Jeff from finding you again

And if it ever came down to it, she’d fight tooth & nail to make sure you safely got away from him

Y’all honestly have bonded over similar traumas & bad experiences

She also hasn’t had it easy, so she understands what you’ve been through & can empathize really well to your experiences

Appreciates & admires your strength, bravery, confidence & optimism so damn much, you have no idea :”)

Overall? Best gf 🥺💞💗💖

NSFW

As I’ve mentioned, Jane takes things as s-l-o-w-l-y as need be to make sure you’re feeling alright before going any further

Sex is definitely not at the top of her list of priorities

She values your comfort & safety above all

So it actually takes a decent while until y’all get together in bed, especially if you don’t typically initiate things

And she’s extra careful, extra caring & extra attentive to your needs all throughout

Reassures you ~multiple~ times that you don’t need to go all the way & can stop anytime you want

She takes care of all your needs before even considering her own

Seriously just wants to make it the best experience she can for you <3

When she finds out it’s your first time with a woman, she can’t help but get some devious ideas for the future 😈

Wants to show you how much better than men women are at pleasuring ladies~

Ngl, she can get a little cocky about her skills in the bedroom, but it’s a well-earned attitude 👀

The more y’all sleep together, the less afraid/reluctant she’ll be & the more confident she’ll grow with the way she touches you

And if you wanna experiment with anything? She’ll gladly take suggestions uwu

You might have to do a bit of convincing before trying anything too rough though, because she doesn’t wanna hurt you

But, ya know, she also wants you to be satisfied with your sex life, so she likely won’t flat-out say no to anything

There will be safe words however

Also if you ever wanna do penetration, she’s killer with a strap-on, just sayin 👀💦💦

Highkey leans towards being dominant cause she likes the control

And also,, being too vulnerable isn’t her fave, y’know?

She would totes make an exception for you if ya wanted to be on top, but she knows you’re pretty submissive, so it works out perfectly 😘

She loves how cute you look all panting & flustered beneath her~

She gets a lot of pleasure and satisfaction from making you feel good, so you definitely won’t find her complaining if you’re a bit of a pillow princess 😉

Her aftercare btw? Bomb af ☺️☺️

Like,, because she knows you’ve had bad experiences with past partners, she’ll put sO much effort into assuring your happiness & comfort at the end of everything

So she’ll bring you a glass of water, offer plenty of cuddles & praises—hell, homegirl will give you a back AND foot rub if you ask for it

Just wants her princess to be happy <3

Loves you w all her blackened heart 😘

[lizacstuff]

Another very good episode despite the sad ending which was very well executed by hande. What did you think of the episode?

Very good episode. One nice thing about these new writers, so far, is that the episodes flow a bit better than they used to flow. I think the prior team had trouble putting 2+ hour story without it being disjointed.  These guys seem to be able to manage the format better. 

So much to love in this chapter. So much comedy. So much fun. So much ripping my heart out and stopping on it and then kicking it a little and then throwing it into a fiery lava volcano pit for good measure. 

All those emotions were felt. 

Edser to come, but let's start with Babaanne and the Prince.  It really feels like these characters were introduced with another story in mind, and then the show pivoted. Perhaps the new writers wanted something else, or maybe Fox wanted to renew but wanted the show to get back to basics so they changed course to this reset of sorts? It all feels unfinished.

(continued under the cut)

I think we were all expecting more trouble from both characters.  Not that kidnapping Eda isn't causing trouble, it clearly is, but the fact that it was resolved in the first 5 minutes is notable. What was the point? It did give them a cliffhanger, a chance for Serkan to be a hero, a reason for Serkan to fire Balca, and a reason for Babaanne to change her tune, so it wasn't completely pointless, it served some plots, however it was very anticlimactic. 

Babaanne was pretty anticlimactic too. She comes on like a house on fire in 25, having Serkan arrested on serious charges that could have stuck, framing Alptekin, ruining the project the team had won via the tender. She manipulates Eda into breaking Serkan's heart, goes full matchmaker with the Prince, but then when Eda decides, "Nah, I'm not only not going to give up on Serkan, I'm gonna marry him." she backs off all her threats? 

It does make me wonder if both or either (offscreen) the Prince or Babaanne have something to do with Serkan's plane going missing.  Just so they can fulfill their evil potential. Either of them is powerful enough to pull that off, and it makes more sense than either of them giving up so easily. 

As for Aydan and Ayfer, they made for some pretty good laughs this episode. I think the friction caused by their inherent differences is much more funny, than the fighting over Chef Alexander. As I said in another ask, Ayfer worked my last nerve in her very first scene this episode. She wakes up after being dosed by her mother's choice of life-mate for Eda, but immediately blames the Bolats. Fuck off with that. She enabled her mother, she is more to blame for this situation than anyone but the villains. If she would have stood up to her mother and supported Eda instead of choosing to further Babaanne's agenda by opposing the wedding, maybe Eda's life wouldn't have been put in such danger.  I can't with her. She would deserve it if Eda puts a little distance between them.  

GO DETECTIVE MELO! Love her tenacity in putting together the pieces of Henna night and rightly figuring out Balca's duplicity. For a second there I thought they weren't going to tell Serkan what they found, which made me nervous, but then at the first opportunity she blurts it out. Well done!  We should have known Serkan would be two steps ahead of them except that he's been two steps behind when it comes to Balca since the very beginning. It was very satisfying to watch him fire her. Though, I do wish we would have seen him find out she purposely put strawberry in his drink.  Good riddance!   The ILYs between Serkan and Melo were very sweet, it speaks so well of Serkan that he has such a soft spot for her. Of course it is only natural since Melo has been an unwavering supporter of his since the beginning, Serkan picks his allies well. 

Now onto the couples. The tension between all the romantic pairs this episode was fun, and obviously done for over-the-top comic relief, but also very silly, lmao. Those boys are so DUMB!  Engin has the sensibility of a preteen boy and Ferit never knows when to shut up, he's so naive and he can't read a room.  

However, who didn't love the friendship growth between Serkan and Ferit?  They planned a 15-day bike trip? I'm dying! And crying! However, I fully believe that Eda-broke-up-with-me-I-have-a-sad-and-need-a-distraction Serkan planned that trip and I found it preposterous that Serkan would have any desire to still go right after he got married.  We're supposed to believe that schmoopy, smitten, horny Serkan is ready to leave his newlywed bride for that length of time? Puh-lease he's planning every way he's going to sex her up over the next 6 months, and it's going to take every free minute. Also they can't even find time to get to Paris for the night, but he's going away for that?? NOPE.  Maybe next year, Ferit... but also invite the girls to the bike portion.  

The tension between Eda and Serkan in the first half hour of the ep was a nice little truncated story of the stress wedding planning and a looming, giant life change can put on a couple. Edser started the day in a very schmoopy place, but by the time they left Aydan's they were already starting to feel the pressure. The bickering between Ayfer and Aydan felt typical, and I felt myself being more sympathetic with Aydan.  They're rich, why wouldn't they hire a wedding coordinator? That's a helluva lot of work to do in 3 days!  Why would Ayfer want to spent that time doing centerpieces when she could be enjoying the pre wedding festivities? Dumb. The gems as favors do seem a little over-the-top, but I'd like to take home one of those aquamarines when I attend their wedding, so I won't complain. As far as where they're going to live, both ladies need to step off! They need to be at least 15 minutes of driving distance from both of them.  Not living on the Bolat property and not living in Ayfer's neighborhood. Geez. I'm stressed just typing it up, no wonder it set the betrothed couple on edge.  Obviously, they were having a major disconnect when they got to work. Serkan was dealing with a crisis and probably should have just told Eda that instead of burying himself in work, ignoring her, and getting irritated with her. Meanwhile, Eda should have noticed he was more focused than even the typical workaholic robot, and that meant something important. 

The misunderstanding that fueled their full day stand-off was so silly, and preventable, but also led to hilarity and one of my favorite scenes ever so I won't be too hard on how manufactured it was.  Each of these things-- family wedding planning stress, Serkan being inattentive due to work crisis, and Serkan acting a little "the old ball and chain" when Ferit was blundering along about guys trips and postponing the wedding-- all led to an Eda who was already feeling a bit insecure, so when she overheard Serkan's phone conversation it's not shocking she took it the wrong way.  However, it takes a bit more handwaving to believe Serkan took the conversation the wrong way and went right to freezing her out. Come on, Serkan, you're less emotional and have less reasons to be feeling vulnerable at that moment. She was in your office trying to get your attention on wedding planning and your home and future. You were the one too busy to engage!  Though, I suppose it's believable that these two stubborn souls would allow the misunderstanding to fester out of pride, rather than confront it head on and clear it up right away. It's pretty consistent that when one of them gets their feelings hurt and feels rejected by the other, their defensive walls go up and they both revert to pretending they're just fine and the other's rejection can't hurt them. They need to get over this asap.  

That poor wedding planner. She has a couple insisting they get married in 3 days, they're entirely unhelpful and now they aren't even speaking to one another?  I understand her frustration and don't ding her for asking if they're sure they're ready to get married, but her saying that was definitely one of the things that contributed to the insecurities they were both already feeling. They were both so sad when they had the last conversation in the office, each one suggesting the other to take time to think and rest. Their video call that night was equally as fraught and sad. Sweet, dumb babies. 

The entire sequence of the girls stealthing into the hotel and hiding on the couch was hilarious. I love that Eda doesn't realize that crashing the bachelor party could be embarrassing until she's flat on her back on that couch, hiding behind lobby foliage.  As for the boys, they redeemed themselves a little bit, by being too upset to enjoy themselves.  

One of my favorite parts is Eda trying to be breezy as if the girls being there has nothing to do with the bachelor party. I laughed at Melo taking the blame for suggesting the resort. The single gal always takes the blame, just like the unmarried/not engaged Ferit gets the blame later.  This moment (click here) is one of my favorites of the episode. I still am not sure what she's trying to say with her looping gestures and pointing upstairs and then her haughty pose, and I don't think Serkan knows either, but yet he just gets a kick out of her. The guy who Engin said never smiled, smiles pretty damn easily these days. Also j’adored the wardrobe that had them matching perfectly in shades of cream and olive. In sync and gorgeous. 

Speaking of wardrobe, during that fireplace conversation Serkan looked so huggable in that fleece pullover (more casual Serkan, please!) that I felt terrible that they were not in a place where she could cuddle up to him in front of the fire. Come on! We deserved to see that. That was the biggest tragedy in that scene, slightly ahead of them postponing the wedding. As for that, they were both so convinced that the other thinks they're going too fast, that neither of them was listening to how the other positioned it. Each positioning it as the other's preference. That illustrated the trouble that a little insecurity and a lot of pride can cause.  

Now on to my favorite scene of the episode! Seriously, immediately after watching it I mentally vaulted it to my top 10 scenes list (no such list exists, and if it did it would change all the time, lol).  First, can I say how I appreciated that the friends were all shocked at the news they were postponing the wedding? Ferit and Engin couldn't believe it, and Melo, Ceren and Piril all actively questioned the idea that Serkan would want to postpone. Thank you! You just know if Ayfer were there she would have tried to say "Oh, that's too bad, but really for the best, let's celebrate!"  

Anyway, I loved every second from the moment Serkan says, "Eda, can we talk?" until the apology. Finally, instead of being led by their pride, they both show some hurt which is the catalyst for the heated conversation that clears everything up.  

It's impressive how consistent they've been with some characterizations and how Serkan and Eda yin/yang each other. Eda has always had trouble saying, "I love you." It just doesn't come easy to her. She illustrated that in episode 12, she can handle the sentiment and agree with it, "our feelings are mutual" but it's hard for her to say the words. 

Conversely, Serkan has never had that problem. From the minute he confessed he has told her how much he loves her many, many times and in many, many different ways. What Serkan has trouble with is "I'm sorry". It is so hard for him to say those words. In episode 9, all it would have taken to get Eda back was a simple apology, instead he spent an entire episode doing everything to get her back, but the very simple act of saying, "I'm sorry. That is some next level aversion to apologizing. Whereas Eda doesn't have that problem, she can own her mistakes and apologize pretty easily. 

These scenes outside showcased this dynamic beautifully.  After the misunderstanding is rectified, Eda very easily apologizes, but Serkan goes with a "me too" type of response. The sentiment is there, but he doesn't say the words. A few minutes later, after the crew joins them, Serkan goes all romantic robot and tells her how much he loves her, then prompts her, but instead Eda teases and teases until she finally whispers it. 

Obviously, she loves him and obviously he is sorry about the misunderstanding, but I like the consistency that they both still have trouble vocalizing these specific things.

The fact that Serkan was ready to chuck the guys and his bachelor party in order to have a romantic night with her is very sweet, and also points out how silly the notion of him wanting to travel extensively without her right after they get married. I don't mind things that are exaggerated for humor, but still humor shouldn't need you to completely change the attitudes of the characters in order to hit. And playing on jokes about how marriage and a wife might be viewed as a burden, especially in context of a couple who aren't even married yet, isn't awesome. Which I get, the fact that it is a shitty attitude and a crappy joke fueled the fights between the couples, so at least there was that. It wasn't accepted. 

The lovely montage by the lake was a wonderful way to show us some quiet, romantic moments between them. That's one of the great things about this format, they have time to occasionally gift us with scenes that don't drive the plot, don't move forward any story or character development or even have dialogue, they just exist to make us swoon and fall even more in love with this couple. Mission accomplished! The fact that Kerem is the one who found that location just makes it sweeter. 

Engin, Engin, Engin. What makes you think it is a good idea to judge a beauty pageant?  Your wife is in the hotel! Not that she would be jealous, but, you know, assigning a number value to women based on their looks... it's not great. Also I realize that it's a necessity while shooting with Covid, and we just have to suspend disbelief in scenes that should have tons of extras but are barren, but the hotel holding a beauty pageant and the only people in attendance are three dudes who just happened to be bored in the lobby is funny in and of itself.  But glad the girls got a chance to take their revenge and make the boys feel what it's like to be judged in such a way. Plus it was worth some laughs and gave us a way to unite the bachelor party with the pajama party. 

For me the next scenes only exist to have Edser draped all over each other in the bar.  I didn't really pay too much attention, I think Piril/Engin and Ceren/Ferit all made up, but I do know Serkan wanted to ditch everyone and go back to the room and since we know what happened next.... we know why!  Though I did wonder, did he have a massage appointment for like 10pm?  Or was it the next day? It matters not at all, but it did strike me while watching. I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW MUCH WE GOT OF THEM IN THE TUB!!!  *flings self into the sun*  That was quite something.  Bless these new writers and their willingness to go there.  I love that scene so much. Serkan's smile is just... something else. 

One nitpick is the lighting. Obviously, with the timeline they shoot on, some production value will go by the wayside, though mostly I think they do a decent job despite all the constraints. However, one place that is consistently lacking is lighting in indoor, one-off locations.  The coffee shop in ep 12 is an example, and this was another one. I can understand they need to get in and out quickly. In this case the crew wouldn't have been able to probably prep as much as they'd like, because you're probably not going to put any stand-ins in the water, and you can't take time to perfect it once your big stars are in the tub, mostly naked, submerged and pruning, but the harsh shadows across each of their faces is distracting. Where were the bounce boards? Even those lines out. 

But obviously we don't care. WE GOT THEM BEING SEXY AND PLAYFUL IN THE TUB! What a bounty. That's all that matters.  Loved all the wedding prep, especially the lovely Aydan and Eda scenes. There was SO MUCH JOY... until there wasn't. 

I'm not going to spend much time on the contrivance that led us to the final scenes. I mean, first, Erdem... why are you so incompetent?  And, second, do they not have E-signature in Turkey? Or scanners? Or even fax machines? The idea of having to fly to Italy just to sign something is ridiculous. Oh well, whatever drives their plot, I guess. 

The final Edser scene was brilliant and beautiful and heartfelt and romantic and ominous and painful. All the things it should have been for what happens next.  Poor Serkan! Poor Eda! Why can't they catch a break? 

[readyplayerhobi]

Silver Bells and Cockle Shells

; Widower Single Dad!Hoseok x Reader

; Genre: Angst, fluff, smut

; Word Count: 22.2k

; Warnings: Mentions of death, grief, depression, insinuated blowjob and car sex, penetrative sex, masturbation, fingering

; Synopsis: Jung Hoseok has three beautiful daughters whom he loves more than anything in the world; Soo-ah, Ji-eun and Ji-soo. For five years now, it’s been only them and him against the world. But what happens when he wants to bring someone new into their lives?

; A/N: Hello, this is something I just randomly got in my head. Was meant to be a drabble...ha, evidently not. I half edited this but full honesty, I got bored and just wanted it out! If you like it, pleeeease reblog it! Leave me lovely comments and feedback, send asks and like it! I hope you enjoy this and that...it’s not boring or anything ;-;

; Sequel - Sleigh Bells Ring

-

“Soo-ah!” Hoseok cursed, frowning deeply as he bent over and picked up the toothbrush she’d carelessly dropped to the floor after she’d brushed her teeth for bed. “Pick up your stuff after yourself!”

Sometimes he felt like he spent half his day chasing around after his daughters to put his house back together. Honestly, going to work could be classed as a relief at this stage in his life. Pausing for a moment, he stared at himself in the finger printed mirror before letting out a deep sigh and rolling his eyes. 

He was too young to be thinking like that. At only 33, he was pretty sure that he should only just be experiencing the stress he’d endured for the past ten years. His friends certainly were only just beginning to understand what he’d gone through.

Already, Jimin had started whining about how tired he was with his newborn son which was making Namjoon start to blanch whenever they met up and the conversation started. His own wife was due in three months and Hoseok was looking forward to being as smug as humanly possible whenever the younger man complained himself.

They’d all had to endure years of Namjoon saying it can’t be that bad and encouraging them all to simply remain calm and all that bullshit he spouted in his daily role as a psychiatrist. It had made Hoseok want to hiss fire at him when the man had no concept of trying to cope with two colicky babies alongside a five-year-old who tantrumed over the wrong breakfast cereal.

The man had it coming, Hoseok swore. A small, sinister part of him was hoping that Namjoon’s baby would be the antichrist but then he pushed that thought away. In actuality, he hoped that Namjoon and his wife would have the most pleasant experience as parents.

No matter what, he was positive it would be better than his own experience.

Putting the toothbrush back into its place, he crouched down to grab the cleaner and sprayed the mirror in an even coating, placing the bottle back before grabbing a cloth and wiping the mirror clean. It was stupid, but the pristine surface soothed a part of him that screamed out at the sheer tornado of chaos his children caused.

His love for his daughters was infinite and he would happily give up his own life to protect them and ensure their unending happiness; but sometimes he also just wanted to scream in frustration. Sighing heavily, he rests his hands on the counter and looks down into the sink, brows furrowing together once more as he notes the stains of toothpaste spit that has dried on the porcelain and a deep groan runs through him.

A full clean of the house will have to be done this weekend. He’ll have time to do it as his parents are taking the girls to the aquarium and then a movie for the day after a sleepover. And then, after a whole day of cleaning, they would come back to a nice house with everything in its place and it would all go back to looking exactly how it had in the morning within hours.

Rubbing his hand over his face, he licks at his lips and looks back in the mirror. Said hand soon moves to run through his hair, pushing the sleek, black strands out of his face and he notes idly that he needs to get it cut. The sides are getting too long and he scowls slightly, pushing at the hair that should be shaved close to the sides of his head.

Maybe he could take the girls to get their hair done and then ask if the hairdresser would quickly do his as well. They’d be entertained with each other for a while, surely? Or maybe he could run out on Saturday while they’re gone and get it sorted. He did need to go shopping to buy groceries for dinner and it would make sense to do it at the same time. Hoseok had become very adept at finding time to fit multiple things together.

His stomach flipped nervously as he thought about dinner. 

If everything went right with the conversation he was about to have with his girls, then Saturday evening would be the first time he would introduce you to them. For five years now, Hoseok had raised his beloved daughters as a single father.

It hadn’t been out of choice. 

His eldest daughter, Soo-ah had turned ten-years-old in March this year. She’d been born when he was 23, a surprise pregnancy with his college sweetheart. They’d married a year later and Hoseok had enjoyed four wonderful and happy years with Soo-ah and the woman he’d considered the love of his life, Yoo-jin. 

A second pregnancy occurred when they had both been 27; this time it was planned and very much wanted. On October 29th, two beautiful twin girls had been born and Hoseok’s heart had swollen even more with love and affection. Ji-eun and Ji-soo were perfection in human form to him.

October 29th had also been the last day his wife had been alive. 

Complications from the strain of birthing both girls had taken his wife from him, and he’d suddenly been alone in the world with three daughters relying on him. Grief had taken a backseat as he’d thrown himself into the three innocent lives that needed him so desperately and it had been the hardest thing he’d ever done.

Crippling depression had hit him hard with the loss of Yoo-jin and sometimes the very sight of his kids had caused him to burst into tears as he’d thought about how she wouldn’t get to see their daughters grow and experience life. It had been even harder with two newborn girls who had demanded every moment of his time and attention, leading to him having to take time off work as a software engineer at first and then work from home once his leave ran out.

What had been even worse though, was that not only was he trying to cope with his own grief but that he also had to cope with Soo-ah’s. She’d been only five-years-old. Her mommy and daddy had gone to the hospital one day and had promised to bring back her baby siblings.

Only daddy and two sisters had come home. She hadn’t understood why mommy wasn’t coming back and for two whole months, Soo-ah started and ended every day asking when mommy was coming home. Everytime, his eyes had watered and his throat tightened as he’d had to tell her that mommy wasn’t going to come home, that she’d gone to the sky to watch after them all.

They say kids understand more than you expect, but it had still taken a long time for her to grasp the concept that her mommy was gone. He hadn’t been able to say that she had died, and he’d broken down the night that she’d turned six. Hoseok had tried to make it a happy and fun time for her, but it had only been five months since Yoo-jin had passed and Soo-ah hadn’t been coping too well.

She’d been happy at the start of her party, accepting her presents from all her friends and her many uncles and aunts who doted on her immensely. Her grandparents had already visited earlier in the day and Hoseok knew that everyone was spoiling her to try and make up for the one thing missing from her day.

Later on, she’d begun to act out and had a tantrum that resulted in the party ending earlier than expected. Hoseok had known that she might exhibit behaviour like this; she was just a child and it was a big emotion for her to compute. The happiness and excitement of everything, combined with seeing the other kids with their mom’s had simply been too much.

When he’d put her to bed that night, giving her lots of extra kisses and cuddles, she’d been quiet and sullen. It had broken his heart and yet again, he hadn’t known what to do. There wasn’t a manual for this.

But what had destroyed him had been what she asked him, her voice tiny and more than a little fragile as she curled up in his arms beneath her Mickey Mouse bedding. 

“Mommy’s dead. That’s why she’s not coming home. Right?” How he had got the strength to carry on that conversation with her without falling apart right then and there, he’d never known. But he had. And then he had checked on the twins before falling into his own bed, his pillow soaked with his own tears as pain had eaten at him.

Five years had passed since, and with time it had gotten a little better. His heart no longer aches when he thinks of Yoo-jin and he could talk about her openly with a smile. He made sure to keep her photos in the house for his daughters, reminding them of their mom and letting them know that she loved them. Each of their rooms, the single for Soo-ah and the room that Ji-eun and Ji-soo shared as they refused to sleep apart, was decorated with pictures of Yoo-jin and Hoseok.

It made him sad to know that he had no photos of Yoo-jin and the twins for them, but they’d never asked about her either. They had never grown up with a mom, so they never thought anything of it. Soo-ah had though, and while she had slowly turned back into the happy and loving girl he’d known, he knew that she would never forget her mom.

Nor would he want her to.

But for five years, he’d only limited himself to one-night-stand’s in which both he and the recipient were abundantly clear that there wasn’t going to be anything further. He hadn’t wanted to engage in romance, hadn’t wanted his feelings to get involved. All he had wanted was the relief of an orgasm and the intimacy of another person for a few hours.

His parents had encouraged him to go on a few blind dates in the last two years, and he had done so reluctantly. Even Yoo-jin’s parents had told him that they wanted him to be happy, even if that meant finding someone new to love.

It was hard though. He’d felt disloyal with the first few dates, even if they’d just ended up in casual sex before never seeing each other again. Most of them hadn’t been interested in anything further with a man who had three young daughters. He hadn’t been interested in them once they gave him that opinion.

So he hadn’t bothered mentioning it after, because he simply hadn’t wanted to engage in anything that would involve feelings. 

Until you.

He’d met you a year ago, when Jungkook’s wife had brought you to one of his summer barbecue get togethers. It had been before anyone else in their friend group besides from Hoseok and Seokjin had had kids, so it had been deemed a kid free event to allow the parents to kick back and relax.

Yoo-jin’s parents had taken the kids for the day and Hoseok had got to simply be himself for a few hours without having the stress of constantly checking on what his kids were doing. He’d discovered that three children meant three times the amount of potential damage and carnage that could be caused, and minus another parent figure resulted in just overall disaster material.

Hoseok still shuddered in horror whenever he thought of the supermarket experience from two years ago. Even now, he refused to go back there from sheer embarrassment.

But you had simply been there as a friend, and at first he hadn’t even paid attention to you in any way other than simple respect. You’d been sweet and friendly, if a bit shy as it had been obvious that everyone knew each other except for you. Chae-young, Jungkook’s wife, was a colleague of yours and you’d become close through a mutual love of equestrian activities.

At the time, that was as much as he’d known about you alongside your name, age and that you were the manager of a sales team in an office. There hadn’t been any need for him to know more, but by the end of the night he’d been quietly endeared by you.

He hadn’t laughed as much in years, his smile bright and wide on his face while he talked intently with you. For three whole hours, you’d both been in a little bubble of shared mutual interests from tennis to dancing to pop culture. Neither had noticed the subtle glances everyone was giving each other as they watched their friend, who had spent so many years with his light dim and subdued, come to life before their eyes.

Before he’d even realised what he was doing, you had both swapped numbers and he’d enjoyed a few weeks of casual interaction via text. He’d enjoyed the conversation with someone new and had been determined to not let his busy life get in the way.

Even better, you’d already known about his kids and hadn’t been bothered in the slightest. In fact, you’d even been inquisitive and he’d happily discussed them, pride behind every word. The texts had soon turned into phone conversations which soon turned into video chats.

Soon enough, he’d been meeting you for lunch in the city at a cafe that was between both your workplaces. Hoseok hadn’t realised how close Chae-young worked to him until then, and he’d enjoyed his lunches more than he ever had with the easy conversation that flowed between you both. 

It was ironic really. He’d spent so long not looking for anything that he didn’t even realise when something wonderful fell right into his lap. And you were wonderful, beyond wonderful.

For the first time in over a decade, Hoseok had gone to bed early to simply lay there, curled up under the covers, while he texted you like a teenage boy with his first crush. And that’s what he’d felt like, even if he hadn’t quite realised it. Every text had made his stomach flip and every call made him breathless with nerves.

He found himself going to the bathroom before lunch, checking over his hair and looks before meeting up with you. Things he saw in the store that reminded him of you found their way into his basket before ending up in your hands, all to see that pretty smile that made him feel so funny.

It had been so long since he’d dated properly, so long since he’d liked anyone in more than just a lust filled euphoria, that he just hadn’t realised what was happening. And it had taken his mom, of all people, to point it out to him.

He’d been at theirs one afternoon, the girls playing in the living room with the toys their grandparents had accumulated over the years while he sat at the island in the kitchen. His mom had been watching him for five whole minutes instead of preparing the meal for that night, observing the way her son smiled and laughed to himself, eyes locked on his screen.

It had made tears come to her eyes when she had realised that she hadn’t seen him like this since Yoo-jin had been alive. She had queried him who he was talking to, causing him to casually say your name without a second thought. And then she had asked him how long he had been dating you, which had thrown him for a loop.

“I’m not dating her. We’re just friends.” He hadn’t even realised he’d said those fateful words out loud, hadn’t realised the meaning of what he’d just said. In his mind, that was exactly what you were. Friends.

Which was why his mom had given me an exasperated smile and a shake of her head. “Hoseok, sweetheart. If you’re not dating her, then you should be. I haven’t seen you this happy in...a long time. Especially not with another woman.”

Hoseok had frozen then, staring down at his phone with a frown as his mother’s words had finally penetrated the shield that he had held so tightly around his heart for half a decade now. The last text you had sent him had been something stupid, but he’d gripped his phone tight as he’d realised she was right. You made him happy, you made him want to try.

And that made him feel guilty.

She’d spent the rest of the afternoon convincing him that it was okay to move on, to truly move on and find happiness with someone else. That night, he’d refrained from texting you as he’d tried to compute his newfound emotions and find a place for them to sit alongside everything else in him.

For so long, he’d thought that Yoo-jin would have been the only woman for him. The woman that he would grow old with, be buried next to and so forth. And then she had died at only 28, and he’d been without her once more. He’d spent years convinced that he should stay loyal to her, after all, they hadn’t broken up.

But as he’d laid there that night, he’d worked through the guilt that wracked him as he’d realised that he didn’t want to be alone anymore. He didn’t want to wake up alone, in a cold bed and come home to only his children. Hoseok loved his kids, he truly did, but he wanted someone that he could talk to, laugh with, argue with if necessary, be intimate with. 

He wanted someone to love again, and he wanted to be loved in turn.

Everyone had always said that he had a big heart, always ready to bestow it on whoever had his affections that day. A smile that could light up the sun and so forth. And for five years, he’d only poured love into his daughters because they were all he had.

As he’d gone to sleep that night, he had contented himself with the knowledge that he was no longer happy with his lonely situation. But he planned to do something about it, because he had also realised that he liked you, and he wanted to pour that love into you too if you would let him.

The very next lunch he had with you, he had asked you on a date. His confidence had faltered halfway through as panic had suddenly set in, worry that you wouldn’t want to date a 33-year-old father of three. But you had smiled brightly, face lighting up with such happiness and excitement that he’d been unable to not smile back, before eagerly accepting.

That had been six months ago, and he had fallen in love with you slowly every day since.

Despite this though, he had yet to introduce you to the girls. There were many reasons for this and he’d been pleased that you had accepted them all without complaint. The most important reason was because Hoseok hadn’t wanted to introduce anyone to them if it wasn’t going to end up serious.

It would just hurt them if you broke up and they never saw you again, and he wasn’t ready to impart that kind of emotional turmoil on his little girls. Secondly, he hadn’t wanted to pressure you into doing anything with his kids when you didn’t have to. You weren’t their mom, nor were you looking to be and he didn’t want to force that role on you. 

He’d wanted you to feel comfortable enough to finally meet them, and he’d wanted to feel comfortable enough in his relationship for you to meet them. But also, he’d just wanted to enjoy you to himself without the interference of children.

Hoseok loved his kids, he would never give them up and his whole life revolved around them really. Yet his relationship with you was the first thing in five years that he’d had solely to himself, untouched by their presence. He felt selfish thinking that way, but he’d just wanted to enjoy you a little longer without the pressure of parental expectations.

After six months though, he’d finally decided that it was time. It had been a huge decision, and he’d agonised over it a few weeks before finally talking it through with you. He’d had to be sure that you even wanted to meet them, because as worried as he was for how his daughters would react to you, he couldn’t even imagine what it must be like for you.

You’d started dating him in the knowledge he had three kids, but knowing and actually seeing and being a part of those small lives was entirely different. Most women probably didn’t start dating someone with a ready made family, and he’d stressed a little over that.

Dating him seriously meant you would be directly involved with his daughters. He didn’t want you to think that he wanted a second mom for them, because he didn’t and he doubted his daughters wanted that either, but it would be hard for you to avoid some parental activities.

And that wasn’t even thinking about whether or not you actually wanted children in the future. There was a chance that you might think he might not want more kids because he already had three, but you had none. Overall, it had taken a lot of thinking before he’d finally proposed the idea of introducing you.

He wanted to be able to bring you home, cuddle up with you on the couch after a long day without having to worry about the girls finding out. Eventually move onto you staying the night, hopefully one day in the future even moving in together. He had kids, yes, but that didn’t mean that he couldn’t have a relationship like everyone else.

Hoseok wanted to give you as normal a relationship as he could, despite the three extra people he came with as standard.

You’d been sweet about the whole thing though, consoling him and letting him know that you were supportive of whatever decision he made. There weren’t enough words in the English language for him to convey how much he appreciated how easy-going you were about it all and he’d just fallen even harder for you.

It was a little odd really, how quickly he’d realised he loved you. Admittedly, he’d spent months without even realising he liked you, but he’d told you those three special words within three months. He’d taken half a year to tell Yoo-jin, and he wasn’t sure what that meant. If it meant anything.

But all of this was completely moot if his girls decided they didn’t want to meet you. They were allowed that decision, and Hoseok was fully prepared to love you separately for a while until they got used to the idea. He didn’t want to, but he wouldn’t force someone onto them if they didn’t want it. Nor was he willing to break up with you solely for that reason.

He loves his daughters, but he refuses to let them rule his life entirely. Just as he works hard they’re happy, he knows that he’s entitled to happiness himself.

Pushing away from the counter, he takes a deep breath before heading into the twin’s room. The bathroom was the one all the girl’s shared while he had his own thanks to the en-suite. Something he was positive that he was going to be very thankful for when they all hit teenage years.

The twin’s room was pure chaos, as expected. He’d long since given up trying to keep this room tidy. Instead, he would simply go through once a day and make it look less like a bomb had gone off in it. 

There was plenty of room in the house for them to have a room each, there were actually two spare bedrooms in this ridiculously large house he’d bought with Yoo-jin years ago. It had been cheap purely because it had needed to have a lot of stuff fixed in it, but over the years he’d worked with both friends and family to turn it into the family home it was today.

But splitting the twins up had proven to be an unthinkable act. He’d tried it once when they were four and they’d screamed and cried for hours before going quiet. Thinking they were asleep, he’d gone to check on them only to discover that Ji-eun had gotten out of her bed and was curled up in Ji-soo’s bed.

The very next day, he’d moved her stuff back into the room and they’d been content ever since. Twins were funny, he mused to himself as he watched them both lying beneath Ji-eun’s Iron Man bedding, his iPad in Ji-soo’s hands as they both watched a movie.

He had refused to let them have an iPad, even a joint-owned one as he didn’t want to end up being that dad whose kids spent all their time on a screen. Even now, they were limited to only two hours of screen time a day. Soo-ah was the same, only she was allowed to use the computer to do her homework when necessary as well.

It caused them to whine a lot but he instead encouraged them to play, read books or even use the board games he’d bought. Thankfully, they were pretty happy with it despite the minor whining but he knew that his policy was going to have to change soon. Particularly for Soo-ah.

“Hey you two, how are my little pumpkins?” He said with a bright smile as he crouched down next to the bed. Two sets of identical eyes flicked over to him, their warm chocolate depths filled with sleepiness and fondness swelled in him.

“Hi daddy,” Ji-soo whispered, the tiny mole on her cheek being the only way to distinguish her from her younger sister. Her black hair shone with health in the warm light of the Avengers lamp on the bedside table and Hoseok reached out, stroking the flyaway strands down. Ji-eun was too busy watching the iPad and he smiled, resting his head on the bed next to them both and watching quietly.

There was only a few more minutes until it was over, and he took the tablet from them before switching it off and placing it next to him on the floor. The door creaked open and all three looked over, taking in Soo-ah’s frown as she looked at her sisters and dad.

He’d asked her to come into the twins room once she’d gotten into her pyjamas and he grinned at her mismatching clothes. A Mickey Mouse t-shirt was combined with Batman bottoms but he chose not to say anything as she flipped her long, black hair behind her shoulder in a movement that reminded him so strongly of Yoo-jin.

The twins were growing to look like him, but Soo-ah was all Yoo-jin. It was a soft ache sometimes to look at her, but it just made him love her all the more.

Gesturing to her with an open arm, she tucked herself into his side where he knelt and he kissed the crown of her head with a loud ‘mwah’, enjoying the way she wiggled and whined in protest. She was reaching the age where affection from him was met with embarrassment but he didn’t care.

“Are you all excited to go to grandma and grandpa’s tomorrow?” All three of them nod, excitement lighting up their eyes and he has to bite his inner cheek to stop the grin that wants to paint itself onto his face. His parents spoil them, they truly do. He has no doubt when he picks them up on Saturday that they’ll have eaten their weight in sugary goods and will likely have another toy each.

“Good, they’re looking forward to having you too. I want you all on your best behaviour, yeah?” Each little girl gives another nod and he goes soft with pride for them all. They were truly the most important things in his life and he squeezed Soo-ah a little tighter in response.

“So...err,” He paused, brow creasing as he realised that he didn’t know how to go about this. “On Saturday, we’re going to have dinner with someone. She’s...she’s someone very special to daddy.”

“Is she your girlfriend?” Ji-soo asks innocently, her eyes filling with curiosity and he smiles in response, running his fingers through her hair once more before nodding.

“Yes...she is. I...she’s been daddy’s friend for a while now, and daddy really likes her. So...I want to make sure that you all are okay with that? I don’t want to bring her if you’re not going to be happy.” This is possibly one of the most awkward he’s things he’s done in a while but he preserves, hoping that his daughters will understand and accept.

“Do you love her?” Ji-eun asks and Hoseok freezes, his eyes widening. He feels it’s far too soon to confirm that for them when he’s only just telling them so he shakes his head instead, leaning over to kiss her forehead.

“I like her a lot. She makes me very happy and I want you all to get to meet her. She’s excited to meet you if you want to. But it’s only if you want to.” There’s silence for a few moments more before the twins nod enthusiastically with smiles that resemble his own so much.

“Okay daddy.” They both respond at the same time, causing him to chuckle as that odd twin telepathy happens again. It weirded him out sometimes but it mostly just made him glad that they had each other.

Soo-ah hasn’t responded and he looks down at her, noting the way her eyes are downcast and her body is tight. His heart sinks slightly, knowing that she was going to be the one that he had the most trouble with. 

She was the one who remembered her mom, who vaguely remembered scenes of her mommy and daddy hugging and kissing, whispering they loved each other. It was always going to be the hardest with her, and he wondered how long it would take for her to accept it. If she ever did.

But then she surprises him with a slight shrug, her fingers tracing unseen shapes into his jean covered thigh, her lips pursed out in a tiny pout. “Okay dad.”

Her tone isn’t nearly as enthusiastic as the twins and he frowns slightly, kissing the twins goodnight and turning the lamp off before he gently encourages Soo-ah out of the room. She doesn’t speak on the way to her own bedroom, the interior of this room a soft purple that’s decorated with numerous horse posters.

Without a word, she climbs into her bed and curls up with her back to him underneath the covers. His heart clenched tightly as he sits down next to her, the mattress dipping and causing her to roll slightly towards him. Neither says anything for a moment as he simply runs his fingers through her hair gently, enjoying the way it feels and thinking about how big his little girl was getting.

“Soo-ah? Are you really okay with it? It’s okay if you’re not,” He whispered, looking away from her to the bookcase opposite him that’s filled to the brim with books. “She’s nice, I think you’ll like her. She goes horse-riding and knows so much about them.” 

“What about mommy?” And there it is, the very thing he was looking forward to least. His breath leaves him in a deep and heavy sigh while his head drops down momentarily as he tries to put his thoughts together into cohesive speech. This is all very new and alien to her and he’d always known it was going to be a tougher sell to her than the twins. They’d only ever had daddy, she’d had both.

“Mommy is still here with us Soo-soo, she’s not being forgotten. I still love her so much and I know that she still loves you. Y/N isn’t going to replace mommy, I swear.” Soo-ah stays curled up, her body tight and he grits his teeth, hating that he had to go through this with her.

“What if you fall in love with Y/N and forget about mommy? I don’t want another mommy. What if she’s mean? What if she hates us and tells you that she doesn’t want us?” Wow, this is way more questions than he’d anticipated from merely asking if they’d be okay with meeting you but he got the suspicion that these were things Soo-ah had worried over for the last few years.

Which meant he had to go very carefully, otherwise things could go very wrong.

“You’re not going to get another mommy, I don’t want that for you. You had one mommy, and you always will. Y/N doesn’t want make you unhappy, she’s not expecting you to love her or treat her like a mom. She also doesn’t hate you and she would never tell me make me choose. She’s known about you all the whole time I’ve known her and she’s excited to meet you all. I’ve told her so much about my smart girls. And she’s not mean. She’s one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. I wouldn’t bring someone into your life that I didn’t trust and like. I swear Soo-soo.”

She’s quiet for a moment longer before shrugging again, her body relaxing as she lets out a deep sigh. “Okay,” His shoulders relax as he senses the acknowledgement in that one word. “I love you daddy.”

Biting his lip, he knows that she’s still not entirely okay with it and he also knows that he’s going to have to be very careful on Saturday. He loves Soo-ah, but he knows that she can be temperamental around things like this, with valid reason, obviously. But he also knows that she doesn’t really know what to think, hence her calling him ‘daddy’, something that she hadn’t done for 3 years now.

“I love you too Soo-soo.” Bending over, he kisses her head goodnight before leaving her room too, resting his back against her door as he lets his head fall back and a deep sigh leaves him. He hopes you know how much he truly loves you with how willing he is to let you into his life, because for him and his little family, this is the biggest earthquake to strike since the death of Yoo-jin.

Only this time, he hopes that that result afterwards would be happy instead of painful.

-

Hoseok lets out a happy groan of delight as he bites into the greasy pizza, the tangy cheese contrasting wonderfully to the meaty pepperoni and rich tomato base. It tastes far too good and a voice in the back of his mind tuts at the wilful carbs he’s adding into his body. He’s not as young as he once was and keeping off the weight was beginning to be a little harder nowadays, but he pushed that thought firmly away.

You liked his body, even if he wasn’t as toned as he had been ten years ago. But whatever, you weren’t dating 23-year-old Hoseok and 33-year-old Hoseok didn’t give a damn when the pizza tasted this fucking good. 

A light chuckle sounded from his right and he glanced over, finding you watching him with amusement dancing in your eyes while a bemused smile played on your lips as you chewed on your own slice of pizza. Once you’d realised that you’d caught his attention, you swallow your piece before leaning over to wipe at the grease on his lips with undeniable affection and his stomach felt a little bit fuzzy.

He was being honest when he said that you made him happy, because you really did. In fact, he was pretty sure that this was the happiest he had been in five years and sometimes he got a little sappy and emotional about it. So long had been spent purposefully isolating himself for his daughters that he hadn’t really understood what he was missing out on again.

But, he conceded to himself, he was glad of that as well. Because he wouldn’t have started a relationship with you if he’d started dating earlier. So he was content with his earlier decisions, content with you.

Having kids and losing a wife had really turned him way more emotional than he’d used to be, but he reasoned that it was okay. He’d just learned what it was like to lose something he loved dearly, and he had spent years regretting not loving Yoo-jin more fiercely. Which was why he was determined to make sure that you knew exactly how much he loved you, for however long you both lasted.

He would not make the same mistake twice.

“Enjoying that?” You ask him, expression mischievous as you take the pizza crust he hands you and start to eat it with a joyful hum. Hoseok simply watches for a moment before nodding with a grin.

“Do you know...how nice it is to get to eat junk food?” A snort leaves you as you roll your eyes, shifting until your back is against the cushion on the couch and you pull your legs up. You’re only wearing some bed shorts and an oversized logo shirt with the Star Wars logo on it, both faded from overwashing but still comfortable.

“Am I supposed to feel sorry for you? You’re the one who chooses the meals in your house. If you want junk food, then just eat junk food.” The way you say it is completely casual but Hoseok gasps in mock outrage, a hand resting on his chest.

“How rude! You’re supposed to be complimenting me on how wonderful of a father I am because I make sure my daughters are eating the healthiest food! Did you know, we haven’t had chocolate in our house for over a year now? Only health snacks allowed.” A droll stare is all he gets in response and he squirms slightly, trying his hardest not to let his lower lip pout out.

You were two years younger than him and also childless, yet sometimes he felt like you were the older one and also the parent. 

“Blatantly false. I distinctly remember you eating a Kit Kat the other week in bed when we facetimed. I thought lying was bad Hobi?” You’ve got him there and he finally lets his lips purse before he chuckles in defeat, nodding his head.

“Okay fine, we have one day of junk food a week. But they’re not allowed anything unhealthy unless they’ve done something really good, like got a really good grade or done some chores around the house. Me on the other hand...well, let’s say I might have a secret stash hidden somewhere in the house that little girl’s can’t reach.” His hand waves airily as he speaks and you burst into laughter, reaching out with one foot to push at his thigh.

Without even thinking about it, he lowers his hand to rest on your leg and runs his fingers along your skin affectionately. There’s no pizza left anymore and instead he focuses on sliding his hands along your calf, digging into the muscles there and massaging gently until you let out a soft sigh.

Silence falls between you both, the comfortable kind where neither of you feels the need to speak. The television is playing some Netflix Original series while the lingering scent of pizza still fills the air.

He’d come over to yours for the night, enjoying the fact that he was actually able to spend the whole night with you. His parents had asked to have the girls last week tonight and he’d agreed happily, knowing that it meant he could spend more time than usual with you. Staying over was only possible when the girl’s were not home, and that was pretty rare.

Your apartment was pretty small, the size dictated by what you could afford in combination with the car you had and the salary you earnt. But he liked it all the same. It was filled with a combination of pop culture in the form of figurines and plushies everywhere alongside beautiful paintings that hung on the walls or elegant photographs of landscapes. 

Candles dotted the area, a few lit to fight the pizza scent with vanilla and he smiled as he felt himself relax both physically and mentally. There was no hint of children here, no toys thrown around or crayons half hidden underneath furniture. He obviously loved his kids but sometimes it was nice to just...have somewhere that didn’t look like Toys R Us had thrown up in it. 

In actuality, he found dating as an adult slightly odd. The last time he’d properly dated had been with Yoo-jin, and that had been over ten years ago. He’d been a student when they’d got together, only 21 and he’d had a young adult’s mindset to go with it too. At the time, all he cared about was his grades, partying, getting drunk and getting laid.

Not necessarily in that order.

Okay, definitely not in that order.

A job, taxes, bills, childcare, children and so forth hadn’t even entered his head really. Dating back then had simply meant meeting up with Yoo-jin after class and going back to the apartment he’d shared with Yoongi and Namjoon, fooling around for a few hours before crashing in bed. Maybe going to a party or actually doing his homework.

The most stress he’d had was exam period, or maybe that time he forgot to hand in his term paper and he’d been handed his ass by Professor Lee in History of Medieval Europe. That hadn’t been fun.

Dating had been almost...relaxing with how carefree it had been. How unburdened with the stress and realities of life.

Dating now was far different. Now he had to fit in his dates with you in his lunch breaks or the rare evening he could get someone to watch the girls. Talking was relegated to when they were in bed and a lot of the conversations often ended up being about world events or problems with a job or co-worker. It felt mundane and if he thought about it, boring, but he oddly didn’t mind.

Being with Yoo-jin in the early stages had been exciting and fun, dates being extravagant and wild. Being you was different. In Yoo-jin, he’d sought excitement but with you he sought comfort and quiet. A way to simply be Jung Hoseok, the man, again instead of being Jung Hoseok the father or colleague.

He felt a little sad that he didn’t get to experience the wildness with you, but then again, he felt far too tired for that anyway. It was only 8pm and he was already contemplating asking if you wanted to go to bed. Not even for sex, but just because he was tired. 

Though he wouldn’t say no to sex. 

That was definitely something that he’d discovered was perhaps even better than with Yoo-jin, which he’d felt a little guilty about at first. Sure, he perhaps couldn’t go as often as he had when he was 21 but it was just...better.

Both of you were far more experienced and knew exactly what you liked and didn’t like in the bedroom, and you were both mature enough to be honest and open about it. He’d been mortified to find out that he hadn’t actually given Yoo-jin an orgasm for six whole months because she’d been too shy to tell him whereas you’d told him exactly what to do for the very first time you’d slept together.

He’d been a little shocked actually, but it had resulted in perhaps the best sex he’d had in a long time. Particularly for two people who had never had sex with each other. And yet it had; he’d never felt such an intense and emotional connection with someone before and it had even frightened him a little bit, made him feel disloyal because he couldn’t ever remember Yoo-jin like that.

It had taken a quiet discussion with Namjoon over his guilt to realise that the sex was probably better because you were the first person he’d slept with that he’d been friends with beforehand, who he’d fallen for long before. Yoo-jin had been a one night stand that had turned into something more, but he’d known you for months.

Sex with you was some of the best he’d ever had, and it blew his mind even more because you hadn’t even had a huge amount of it in the past six months. The lack of time he had for meeting up with you meant that there just wasn’t time for it and so he’d had to fit it in where he could.

For the first time in well over ten years, he’d actually had freaking car sex. And it was not as pleasurable as he remembered. His cheeks flushed as he recalled that incident vividly. It was perhaps not his best moment sexually, but you’d both handled it so well.

it hadn’t even ended in an orgasm because you’d got cramp from bending over and he’d hit his head against you when he’d jerked forward in worry. It had ended up with you back in the passenger seat and giving him a blowjob while he’d felt guilty as hell over not being able to properly reciprocate.

But even that had proven how compatible you were with each other as only minutes later, with his cum still dripping down your face from where you’d overestimated your deep throating abilities and practically coughed it all back up, the two of you had been giggling like teenagers at the failed sex.

A snort leaves him as he remembers it and he shakes his head in response to the look of query you give him, tugging at your leg until you give in and move over to him. He smiles in victory as you curl into his side, your warmth pleasant against him while he wraps his arm around you comfortably, pressing his lips to your head and simply taking the smell of you in.

You smelt like the perfume he’d bought you for your birthday last month, a fruity candy scent because that’s what you loved above all else and he loved it. It made him want to eat you, and he felt a stirring in his groin as he considered doing just that.

“Are you sure they’re okay about tomorrow?” Your voice is soft and quiet but he can hear the insecurity behind it. He understands why. The two of you had made sure to have an in depth conversation about what would come about from you being introduced to his daughters.

You’d known that it would mean sometimes you would come to his place which would mean interacting with them on a personal level. Dates would sometimes end up being family events and they would come in tow. Quite simply, the longer you continue to date and the more the two of you settle into your relationship, the more integrated you would become into his own family.

He could hardly date you seriously and never include you with his own family. Particularly if he ever hoped to move you in one day. No, you would need to know what you were getting yourself into and needed to be accepting of that.

Just as he didn’t want to force something on his daughters, he didn’t want to force a family on you.

As much as he said to Soo-ah that you wouldn’t be replacing her mom, it would be impossible for you to not take on some mother aspects for them. Firstly, it just wouldn’t be fair to be in a long term relationship with him and never expect to do anything with his kids considering how young they were.

Secondly, you were a kind and nurturing person anyway. He had no doubt that whenever you eventually moved in, because he was pretty positive that would be happening in the future, you would want to actively try with the girls. How receptive they would be, he didn’t know.

But if you wanted to try with them then he certainly wasn’t going to stop you. If they didn’t want to reciprocate then they wouldn’t have to and he’d make sure that you knew that too.

“Well...I mean they’re only kids, so I can only really take them at what they say. The twins probably don’t understand properly but I don’t expect them to. They never got to be with Yoo-jin so, this is all new to them. For them, the only thing they’ll probably get upset is that daddy will have someone else that he’s going to pay attention to. Soo-ah though?” His tone turns a little unsure without him even meaning to and you wiggle against uncomfortably.

“She’s the one who’s going to be harder to get through to, isn’t she?” Hoseok hugs you tighter to him as the despondency in your voice and he wishes that he could take it away, but you’re right. Soo-ah is the mystery in the whole situation and she could make everything perfect or it could all fall apart.

“Yeah. She’s...she’s worried that I’m forgetting her mom or that you’ll try and replace her or something. A valid concern for her to have, but I think it’s going to take a while for her to come round to it. To everything really. To you being in our lives, to me loving someone else. It’s going to be hard on her and I wish I could make it better for her but...I can’t. I’ll just have to work with her and show her that being with you isn’t going to mean that Yoo-jin didn’t exist.” 

You push up from him at that, a hand resting on his thigh and he looks deep into your eyes for a moment. He sees love for him there but also concern for his daughters combined with uncertainty for yourself and he can’t stop himself as he leans forward, pressing a soft kiss to your lips.

“I don’t want to take the place of their mom. Especially not for Soo-ah, I can’t even imagine what she went through and...that’s not what I want. I’ll try ready hard with them, I will. I swear. And I won’t get too offended or upset if they get angry at me. I know it’s a hard situation for them to get used to. It’s just been you four for a while now and I’m the interloper.” His heart warms at your words and he hugs you tighter to him, kissing your forehead hard before resting his nose against you.

“That’s why I love you. You know that? Because you care and you don’t push. I appreciate that so much. They’ll come around to it, even if they’re not happy at first. I don’t expect them to be happy, but I can’t be forced to be alone for the rest of my life just because they don’t like it. I...I feel a bit guilty saying this but...I deserve to be happy too.” A soft brush of your lips against his neck lets him know that you agree and his racing heart settles a little.

He’s nervous for tomorrow, yes, but he knows that he’s right. It’s been years of loneliness and now he’s finally ready to accept someone else. And he knows that his daughters would come to like you just as much as he does. Hoseok doesn’t expect them to love you, and he never would, but he hopes that they’ll at least come to like you.

“Anyway, let’s not focus on that right now. We’ve got that bridge to cross tomorrow. Tonight is just me and you, the last night of it being just us,” His brows wiggle suggestively and you roll your eyes in response, lips quirked up in amusement. “How about we take this to the bedroom?”

An unladylike snort leaves you as you push up from him, grabbing the pizza box and heading over to the kitchen to throw it away as he turns off the television.

“Really? You want sex already?” The exasperation in your voice causes to throw a look of outrage at the kitchen door but you’re not there to experience it so he just grins instead, grabbing both your phones and heading over to your bedroom.

“I just meant going to sleep you horndog! God, I thought men were supposed to be the ones who always thought about sex?” He calls out, biting his lip in amusement as he plugs your phone into the charger by your bed and places it on the bedside table.

The screen lights up momentarily and he grins as the lockscreen image pops up; it’s of him kissing your cheek in a park. It had been one sunny lunch and the cherry blossoms had been out in force, providing the perfect backdrop for a perfect picture.

He jumped in surprise, letting out a yelp and dropping his own phone onto the table with a clatter as two hands grip his ass firmly before they slide round to his stomach, wrapping him in a tight hug while you giggle and press kisses to his back.

“How can I not think about sex when my boyfriend is this hot?” The pink painting his cheeks is slightly embarrassing but he can’t stop the primal flush of pride at your compliment and he wants to roll his eyes at himself. 

Turning around, he looks down at your pretty face and bends down to press his nose against yours in a butterfly soft kiss before catching your lips with his for a proper kiss. His arms move to wrap around you in turn, holding you tightly to him and for a few minutes, he just focuses all his efforts into exploring your mouth in a slow yet sensual kiss.

By the time he’s finished, you’re slightly breathless and he admires the dazed look in your eyes, lips swollen and the stirring in his groin he’d felt earlier becomes even more insistent. Perhaps too insistent given the way you look down at his crotch with a raised brow before glancing back up, biting your lip.

“You might want to go to bed but I want you, so how about it daddy?” He pauses, looking at you with a carefully blank face.

“As long as you never call me that ever again then sure. I think I can forego sleep for a little while longer,’ he grins broadly before stepping back. “So undress for me princess. Let me see how hot my girlfriend is.”

“Yes sir.”

“Oh...now that...I like.”

-

Waking up the next morning was surprisingly nice and he simply laid there for a few minutes in the quiet, taking in the way your scent saturated everything and how warm the bed felt. When he finally did open his eyes, he was met with the sight of a clock that read 8am.

Surprise flooded him for a second before he stretched out, groaning softly before smiling and simply laying there. He hadn’t woken up as late as 8am in years and it felt freaking glorious. Half of him wanted to roll over and simply go back to sleep, but he knew that his body wouldn’t let him now that he’d opened his eyes.

You on the other hand, were curled up in a ball next to him beneath the covers, your back facing him. A few ideas ran through his mind, wondering whether he should just get up and go shower or if he should spend some more time with you.

Time with you won out, as he knew it would have. He wasn’t going to turn down a morning with you without kids, no way in hell. And so without another thought, he rolled onto his side and curled up behind you, humming contentedly as the warmth of your body seeped into his own.

“Princess...priiincess,” He cooed into your ear, grinning as you shuffled slightly in his arms and let out a quiet croak in response. “Are you awake?”

There was no doubt about it, he was being a little shit right now and doing the exact thing that he whined at his own kids for doing on the weekend. But he didn’t care, because he found your response far too cute.

“No.” The pout you must have your on your face is abundantly evident and he laughs, pressing a kiss to the back of your neck. He wouldn’t kiss you, because he’d discovered that you really hated kissing with morning breath. Not that he was a fan either, but sometimes he just...wanted to kiss you really bad. 

Though sometimes he had regretted it, but he just pushed those thoughts out of his mind. No, he wouldn’t kiss you today. At least...not until you’d both gotten up and brushed those pearly whites until the kiss would be minty fresh from both ends. 

Instead, he just squeezed your body tighter to him and let out a quiet sigh of satisfaction. It was easy to forget how nice it was to just lay and cuddle with someone he loved; the warmth of you, the smell of you, the touch of you. It all merged together until he felt himself start to drift off once more, eyes closed and breath levelling out until you suddenly turned in his arms and he jerked awake once more.

An amused laugh left you as you looked up at him, eyes bleary with sleep while pillow lines creased your sleep swollen cheeks and his eyes narrowed playfully. “I thought you were sleeping.” He mumbled, burying his face into the slope of your neck while his hand moved to lay flat on your stomach, fingers stroking absentmindedly.

“Hard to sleep when I’ve got your hard on pressed against me.” Hoseok grunted at that, his fingers darting up to pinch at the nipple that made itself present through the thin material. A yelp left you before you laughed again, taking his hand and trapping it between your chin and shoulder.

“Don’t get too flattered. If I had a dollar for every time I woke up with an erection then I’d probably be just as poor because I’d have spent it all by now. But you get the point.” Your lower lip vanishes beneath your teeth as you hum, brow furrowing slightly.

“Are you saying that you don’t find my sleep face and morning breath attractive?” A snort leaves him as he presses his nose against your cheek, kissing the softness there slowly.

“I find you more than attractive missy, and you know that. I believe this is the first time we haven’t fucked after waking up together.” Pouting, you turn your head until you’re looking directly at him and he ducks his face slightly so that he’s not breathing directly on you. He did that once. 

Once.

“Don’t give me that face. The only reason I’m not balls deep in you right now is firstly, because I need to go shower and then head home to clean up and secondly...I don’t have another condom.” Your face contorts on itself before sighing, your hand moving to brush over his boxer briefs and he lets out a hiss of breath as he feels you move against his cock.

“I could suck you off.” It’s almost innocent and he glares at you, lips pursing before he pulls away, rolling to the side and departing the bed before you can entice him any further.

“That’s not...I mean...minx.” You just grin at him before getting up yourself, letting him see the way your shirt has twisted on you in your sleep, clinging tightly to your curves. His hands clench automatically as he huffs out a breath, staring at the sight of your boy shorts that cup your ass so beautifully.

He was trying to be good here and you were ruining all his intentions.

“So...you don’t want a blowjob in the shower then?” There’s not even a chance for him to respond as you tug off your shirt, revealing the delectable sight of your breasts as they’re revealed to the morning air. Without even looking at him, you head towards the bathroom door.

Indecision fills him as he stares at the door, the straining erection in his underwear telling him to go but the logical part of his mind reminding him that he is, in fact, an adult man and not a horny teenager. But then your panties come flying through the door, landing in a heap and he lets out a deep groan before striding over.

He may be an adult, but he’s an adult who damn well likes your mouth on his cock and he is not turning that down. Not today, when later on will be stressful. Right now, it’s time to just enjoy you while he has you entirely to himself.

Inside the bathroom, he finds you merely brushing your teeth at the counter but your eyes move to land firmly on his and he desperately wishes he didn’t find it so weirdly attractive to watch the way your arm moves. But then he realises it’s what you want as your free hand slowly trails down your body, reaching the hair at the apex of your thighs.

Swallowing thickly, he lets out a slow breath before reaching around you for the toothbrush you’d given him to use here and carefully begins to brush his own teeth, trying his hardest not to look. This was not supposed to be a sexy activity, and yet here he was, eyes glued to your hand while his own hand tried to brush his teeth.

A quiet moan slips from your mouth, eyes fluttering shut and your arm shudders slightly, pausing in your movements as the fingers between your thighs work at yourself and he hisses, brushing far quicker in his haste to be done. He doesn’t want you to get all the fun, no way in hell. 

Leaning over, he spits out into the sink and is suddenly reminded of all the times you’ve chosen to spit instead of swallow when you’d blown him and he has to repress the urge to giggle. Instead, he washes his mouth and realises you’re doing the same next to him, head so close to his own that he has an almost preternatural awareness of you.

Glancing up into the mirror, his breath escapes in a rush as he sees you bending over the counter, one elbow resting while your other hand moves in slow circles between your legs, now spread wider. Oh, this is just not fair, he thinks to himself before his eyes narrow.

“I thought I was getting a blowjob?” He asks, moving upright and looking down at you with an imperious brow raised.

You watch him with innocent eyes in the mirror, your own brows raising to complete the facade while you bite at your lower lip. “Did I say that? I thought you didn’t want anything.” The last syllable ends on a soft moan and his hands finds your hips without him even meaning to as your eyelids flutter shut, mouth opening in a perfect circle as soft moan leaves you.

It’s like a lightning bolt to his groin, cock aching at the sound and he realises he can hear wetness as your fingertips slide between your folds. His own fingers itch with the need to take over, to feel that slickness and rub till you’re breaking apart against him.

“Well...it’d take a strong man to turn this down princess,” Moving behind you, he presses his front to your back firmly and mouths a hot kiss to your shoulder, tongue working slowly before he looks back up into the mirror and smirks at how you watch him with those needy eyes. “I’m not that strong.”

Without another word, his arm comes around to your front and he pushes your hand out of the way, his own delving into the gap and his fingers finally rub against your clit. You’re already slippery with your own desire, worked up from your own touch while you’d been safe in the knowledge that he was carefully watching.

Your head falls back against his shoulder, even at this awkward angle with you bent over the counter but he just focuses on kissing and sucking at the sensitive skin of your shoulder and neck. He makes sure not to leave any marks on your neck but he’s more than giving with his attention, his free hand moving around to massage your breasts firmly, playing with your nipple till you push back against him.

“Condom…” The word is panted out from you, your hips gyrating against the firm touch of his fingers on your engorged nerves and he doesn’t even notice it at first. Not until you’re shifting position, trying to reach over to the drawer by your side. He pauses in his movements, fingers half inside you at this point and watches as you tug open a drawer and pull out a foil wrapper.

Looking back in the mirror at you, his brows raised in a combination of surprise, amusement and mild rebuke. “Wow...you really are a little minx, huh? Keeping condoms in the bathroom and not telling me. I’d say naughty girl but right now, I approve.”

A low laugh leaves you as you tear the foil with your teeth, pulling the condom out and handing it back to him. He kicks off his underwear quickly before giving himself a few firm strokes, breath coming a little quicker from the friction but he’s more than excited to be inside you already. It’s not even been 12 hours since the last time he’d fucked you.

Once on, he reaches between your legs once more and plunged two fingers inside of you, checking that you’re more than wet enough for him without needing to get any lubrication. Sometimes you needed it, sometimes you didn’t. Today appeared to be a didn’t, and he wondered if you had some kink of mirror sex kink because you were already near enough dripping for him.

Grinning, he lined up his cock and rubbed the tip against you, rocking his hips forwards and back in slow motions to let your juices coat his cock. The sensation has you gasping softly, causing your own hips to push back as you try and shift enough to find the right angle to get him to slip inside.

He lets you take control for a moment, watching intently as your pussy finds his tip, the engorged head slipping into your sopping entrance. Holding your ass with his hands, he slows your movements down and slowly penetrates you until he’s balls deep inside, breath leaving him in a slow and controlled exhale as you squeeze tightly around him.

His eyes roll slightly at the sensation and he can’t help but grip your ass harder, tutting slightly. As said, you’d already had sex in the last twelve hours and it had been two rounds worth. He’d been proud of himself for producing two performances like that in such quick succession but he had no doubt that you were feeling at least a little bit sore right now so he tried to go slow for you.

Turns out you didn’t want slow and a soft, keening whine leaves your mouth as you try to push back against him harder. Glancing into the mirror, he has to bite his lower lip to stay quiet as he watches the pleasure filled expression face back at him, your eyes screwed tightly shut while your mouth falls open.

The thrusts he makes into you might be slow, but they’re also deep and each movement has you jerking forwards slightly. It causes your breasts to rock with each slap of his hips against your ass and he watches, entirely mesmerised by the movement and wanting to see how you react when he’s fucking you harder.

“Hobi.” You mewl, the sound strained and yet oddly high pitched as one hand moves back to grasp at his hip, trying to pull him into moving faster in combination with your squirming ass and he brings down the flat of his hand on your rounded cheeks chidingly. The sound is loud in the quiet of the room but your inner muscles immediately grip in tighter, the sensation causing him to choke for a moment and his brows rise in amusement.

Well, someone liked being spanked. He was definitely going to remember that for future events.

Any hope he had of being gentle with you to avoid soreness is gone though and it’s clear to him that you’re wanting it harder and faster than he’s going. So he decides to give you it, his hips moving forward faster until the bathroom is filled with the lewd sounds of skin against skin, slick wetness, breathy pants and lust filled groans and moans.

“Come on princess,” He grunts deeply, kissing your shoulder before his arms slide around your waist. One pushes against the counter, giving him extra balance as he thrusts while the other dips back between your legs, the slippery mess there making your soft warmth even more delightful.

The combined touch of his fingers and cock increases your moans, though they’re more like vocal hitches of breath that whine with stroke inside you. Your own hand moves to press down on his own, rubbing furious, tight circles into your clit while he continues to slam into you. The wetness has to be leaking down your thighs now, coating your inner legs and the thought turns him on almost as much as the completely fucked out visage he gets to watch in the mirror.

Breath coming quickly, he pants into your ear before moving his lips down to kiss at your neck frantically as the pleasure in his groin tightens furiously, the need to move faster and harder so strong as he feels the impending release of his orgasm. He desperately wants you to come first, but sometimes that just doesn’t happen and he can’t help it as your pussy flutters around him once more, tightening viciously and he succumbs to the waves of pleasure that flood through his body.

A long and drawn out moan leaves his mouth, high and filled with pure satisfaction and carnal pleasure as he moves inside you slowly, pulling every bit of pleasure he can out from your warm depths before it feels too much for him. Hissing lightly at the overstimulation, he refuses to move as his fingers move back to your clit, rubbing at you in quick, fast movements that have you shivering in his arms as needy moans leave you.

Tiny movements of your hips as they gyrate and the clenching of your pussy has him whining quietly but he doesn’t move, determined to get you off as well. Sometimes it didn’t happen and you’d push his hand away, but this time you keep him firmly against him until your body seizes tightly around him, muscles stiffening before convulsions take over.

His cock slips from you in the midst of your orgasm but you don’t notice, not when his fingers keep moving and prolonging the pleasure until your hips shift away from his hand, the subtle movement telling him to let go. Heavy panting is all that remains in the room and he strips the condom quickly, throwing it away before wrapping his arms around you and hugging you to him tightly once more.

“Fuck...I was not intending that. I was trying to be good.” He mumbles against your shoulder, not noticing the way you give him a tired smile of affection in the mirror as your hand comes up to run through his messy hair. 

“I didn’t want you to be good. I wanted you to fuck me good and hard, and you did. So thank you.” You murmur, turning around and pressing a kiss to his lips firmly. Neither of you move for a few moments, simply enjoying the post-coital bliss of an orgasm induced intimacy before Hoseok finally pulls away with a contented noise.

“Okay princess, now that we’ve got even more dirty...let’s finally take that shower.”

-

Hoseok finally manages to leave your house an hour and a half later, meaning that he’s running behind on his own internal schedule and he feels the slight anxiety that he always does when he’s not being on time. With three kids, he’s had to learn to strictly regiment his time if he ever wants to get anything accomplished.

Whether they obey or not is a different story entirely.

After getting out of the shower and pulling on some clothes, he’d then been forced to sit down on your couch while you cooked him a quick breakfast. The very idea of having food cooked for him by someone who wasn’t his mom was bizarre after so many years, but he’d enjoyed eating the over cooked toast and bacon more than he’d like to admit. 

He’d originally intended to run out to the grocery store and grab the food for dinner before heading back home and cleaning everything up. Only you’d looked far too anxious about tonight when he’d been on his way out, shooting multiple questions at him that gave away your nerves and he’d felt sympathy swell.

It was easy for him to focus on his girls and worry about their reaction, but he had to try and remember that this meeting involved you as well. And you were at a severe disadvantage in that you are the odd one out, the one intruding into his family unit.

So he’d found himself asking if you wanted to help him before he’d even realised. Part of him felt bad about it as it meant that the girl would be coming home to someone they don’t know, but he figured that they already knew they were meeting you anyway. It would at least allow you to calm yourself down and get a little more comfortable in his home before you finally meet his daughters.

Which was why he was currently walking down the aisle of the grocery store, hand tightly entwined with yours as he pondered what to make for dinner. He was actually glad that you were here for that and he posed the question to you, causing you to hum lightly as you lean into him.

“What do the girls like?” The question throws him a little and he frowns, looking at the rows of microwaveable rice before glancing back at you.

“Well...what do you want to eat though? You’re the reason we’re having a special dinner.” He can hear the soft sigh you give, your head resting against his shoulder and his chest warms at the small gesture of affection. It might not seem much to others but to someone as romantically starved as him, it was unbelievably fulfilling.

Pulling away from him, you move back until you’re gently tugging at him to move and he follows you quietly. “No, we’re going to cook what your daughters love to eat because this is going to be an awkward time for them and their favourite home cooked meal will be one less thing they have to worry about. So what do they like to eat?”

His heart flips at the concern and warmth in your voice, causing him to smile as he glances down, tugging you closer and kissing your forehead quickly. “We’ll make lasagne, they all like that and it’ll give us plenty of food. You like that right? And I know you like garlic bread.”

You grin impishly at that, nodding enthusiastically and he chuckles. “I’ll go get the stuff for the bread, you get the stuff for the lasagne yeah? Should I…” A pause causes him to look at you with a raised brow, watching the indecision flutter across your face before carrying on. “Should I get them anything? Like...a present or...chocolate or something?”

“No, don’t get them anything. I mean maybe you should but...I don’t personally like the idea. I don’t want them to feel like you’re trying to buy their affection and love. Just...be yourself.” There’s a brief hesitation before you nod almost shyly, arm moving to cover your stomach in a protective gesture before you head off in search of the ingredients.

Time seems to move faster after that and before he realises it, it’s already time for him to go collect the girls from his parents. The house had been fully tidied and cleaned, though he’d wondered why on earth he was doing that when you were literally cleaning it with him but something he’d discovered today was that apparently you had a strange kink for cleaning.

Not even sexual, you just liked to clean. He’d laughed when he’d discovered that, your excitement at the Dyson vacuum cleaner he’d produced spurring on the new revelation and he’d proclaimed that he had a house that would bring you eternal joy.

Three children meant there was no such thing as a clean house, just organised chaos. And sometimes not even organised, just plain chaos. 

But true to your word, you hadn’t uttered a single complaint and had instead sung loudly to the music he’d played on the speakers that were connected to his phone. He’d had a whole moment of affectionate bemusement as he’d watched you wiggle around the living room, singing while you even dusted for him.

There had been a few moments of quietness from you when you’d noted the pictures of Yoo-jin on the mantle of the fireplace. He kept a few dotted around the house for the girls and he’d worried for a moment that you’d feel jealous or annoyed.

Instead, you’d simply picked up the silver framed wedding photograph, taking note of the younger Hoseok in a suit and the pretty girl in a beautiful wedding dress next to him, both smiling so brightly with a small Soo-ah in his arms. It was his favourite picture of Yoo-jin and he still felt a bubble of love for her when he looked at it.

Which is why he hoped you wouldn’t be mean. And you hadn’t been, instead looking at him with a small smile and carefully placing the frame onto the floor before moving the others as well. “She was beautiful.”

And then you’d knelt down on the floor and carefully polished the frames until they were spotless, giving them a level of care and attention that had him having to leave the room so that you couldn’t see the tears in his eyes.

Once he’d recovered himself, he’d gone back in and sorted out storing the many toys away while telling you stories behind some of the pictures and preening ever so slightly over how you cooed over the photos of his daughters. Damn right they were cute.

Now though, he was shrugging on a jacket and picking up his car keys to go get them and bring them home. It’s only when he looks back round that he sees the way your shoulders are curled inwards, making yourself small while your hands cross over your chest. 

Moving back over, he hugs you tightly to him before kissing your forehead as your chin rests on his chest, nerves evident in every part of you. “Hey, come on. It’ll be okay. Remember, if they don’t respond well tonight then it’s just the first time. Don’t take it to heart.”

“I know. It’s just...I don’t really know what to do, you know? Never met my boyfriend’s kids before.” A quiet laugh leaves him before he dips down, pressing his lips to your own in a quick kiss.

“I love you,” He turns around and heads to the door, knowing that you’re probably going to end up cleaning something else. Part of him wonders if he should have you leave and come back in half an hour but that seems stupid. So he shakes his head and opens the door, looking back at you and smiling. “Please, try and relax a little.”

“Okay. Love you.”

-

Pulling into the driveway, Hoseok takes a deep breath to fortify his nerves before glancing into the mirror to check on the twins in the backseat. His parents had, as expected, spoilt all three and the twin’s were coming home with Funko figures each to put on their shelves while Soo-ah had a ridiculously thick book of horse breeds.

One day, he worried that he might be expected to buy her a horse. He didn’t like horses, and he certainly didn’t want to own one. You were currently convincing him to let her have horse riding lessons and he was considering it as her Christmas present, but he still worried immensely that she would get hurt.

Still, she was slowly proving that it wasn’t a phase and he knew that he was going to have to relent sooner rather than later. He didn’t want to be the dad who stifled her passions and dreams, even if it could potentially cause interest.

“Okay everyone, we’re back. Now...as I said before, Y/N is already here. She helped me to make dinner and clean the house for you guys! So it’s all clean. Ideally, I’d like you to keep it clean but I know you rascals,” He eyes the twins at that and they both give him identical toothy grins. “Are probably going to mess it all up.”

“Grandma was excited.” Ji-eun blurts out, her expression mischievous as if she was fully aware that she was tattling on his own mother. He can’t help the smile that spreads as he imagines his mom gushing to them. She’d spent years now trying to get him to finally move on, so needless to say, she’d been beyond ecstatic when he’d told her last week that he was going to introduce the girls to you.

“Grandma needs to learn to keep her nose out,” He mused quietly before laughing. “Anyway, I’m just going to ask one last time...please be good for me? Be on your best behaviour and be polite. You don’t have to like her, but I did not raise rude girls, right?” 

The stern look he gives the twins causes them to give him carefully blank faces as they nod slowly. He eyes them for a moment longer, knowing that trouble was never far with them, before turning to Soo-ah. She sits next to him in the passenger seat quietly, arms wrapped around the book and her hair in low pigtails.

“Soo-ah?” She tenses slightly when he says her name before looking at him, her brown eyes filled with so many emotions he didn’t understand. But despite all that, she nods slowly while her lips purse out.

Before he can say anything else, the twins are rushing out of the car and bolting over towards the door. He swore under his breath before getting out of the car himself, watching with resignation as they rush inside.

Looking back at Soo-ah, he sees her quietly getting out and closing the door in a much more gentler fashion than her excitable sisters. Hoseok can’t help but walk over to her, crouching down and looking up at her as he takes one of her hands gently between his own. The fact he has to look up at her now while crouching makes him sad, yet he’s so proud of her too.

“Soo-soo...if you don’t want to do this then you can tell me. You don’t have to meet her. I can ask her to go home, or I can take you back to your grandparents if you want. I’m not going to force you to do something that you don’t want to do, okay?” The only sounds for a few moments are the chirping of the birds in the trees that line the street and a car engine in the distance.

“It’s okay dad. She can stay. I’ll meet her.” His brow creases and he reaches up to run his hand down her hair slowly.

“Are you sure?” One more time, just to make doubly sure because he knows his daughter well. And he knows that she’s not entirely happy, but what can he do when she’s verbally telling him it’s okay? He’s giving plenty of chances for her to back out and he wouldn’t be mad at her. Sad, yes, but not angry. 

“Yes daddy.” And with that, she heads into the house as well. He’s left to stand there, face grimaced as he wonders if he should just call it all off. But then he suddenly realises that you’re on your own in there, with his daughters.

“Shit.” He curses and runs inside, faltering in the doorway that leads into the living room. The twins are sat on the couch while Soo-ah is in the arm chair, all three quiet and looking at you like you’re something fascinating. They’re pretty relaxed whereas you’re stiff as a board in the doorway to the kitchen, a brittle smile on your face that turns into one of relief when you see him.

“Hey err...we’re back? Obviously.  Erm, okay well. Girls, this is Y/N, my...girlfriend,” He doesn’t really know if he’s meant to be introducing you as that or just his friend, but they’d already figured it out the other night anyway. “Y/N, this is my eldest daughter, Soo-ah. And this is Ji-soo with her hair down and Ji-eun with her hair in a ponytail.”

“Hello Y/N.” The twins said at the same time, their voices light and whimsical and he almost hisses at how creepy they sound. They’re doing it purposefully, he can see the shine in their eyes because they know people find it weird when they do that. Soo-ah simply gives a polite hello of her own, dipping her head ever so slightly in welcome.

“Hi...erm,” He can tell that you’re struggling to say something and he so desperately wants to go over and place a reassuring arm around you. But he can’t, because he feels he should be with the girls instead. “It’s nice to meet you all. Your dad has told me so much about you.”

The sudden ringing of an alarm in the kitchen interrupts whatever else you were about to say and Hoseok jerks, eyes glancing behind you to the room. “Okay, girls...clean up and then come to the table. Be quick, we’re having lasagne.”

That gets a bright smile from all three as they jump up and rush towards the bathroom situated downstairs, eager to wash their hands before going into the dining room. You’d set the table earlier for him once he’d shown you where everything was and even now, you were helping him by bringing some of the food into the room.

His daughters were smiling in delight as he served the lasagne out to them, his own stomach rumbling at the smell and he realised belatedly that neither you nor him had eaten since breakfast. The plate you place down with garlic bread is soon emptied, with Hoseok making sure to grab two pieces and place one on your own plate.

It’s odd, having five people at the table instead of three, he thinks to himself as he sits down after handing you the plate with your own lasagne. All of them are used to it being just the four of them, with Soo-ah normally sitting next to Hoseok while the twins sit opposite. But today, Hoseok is sat at the end of the table with Soo-ah next to him on the right while you’re next to him on the left. 

It unnerves him a little, taking this weird head of the table position but he doesn’t mention it as he takes a mouthful of lasagne. A quiet hum of appreciation comes from you and he glances over, chewing and smiling at the way your eyes close in delight.

“Daddy! Ji-soo has more than me!” Ji-eun complains before shrieking as her sister pinches her arm. Already, Hoseok has visions of a full fight blowing up between the two because if they’re not being sweet with each other then they’re having astonishing fights and Ji-eun is already turning around to retaliate.

“Hey! What did I say earlier? Best behaviour. Do not fight.” Hoseok hisses at them, eyes narrowing as he gestures a finger at them. Both girls slump down in their chairs, sauce covered lips pursing as they glare at each other. 

And then, as always with their contradictory nature, Ji-soo carefully cuts a piece of lasagne and places it on her sister’s plate without a word. Ji-eun smiles happily and eats it, doing a little butt wiggle dance in her seat in victory and Hoseok has to fight the urge to laugh at them.

Glancing at you, he notes your widened eyes at his sudden rebuke and his cheeks heat up. “Sorry. You get used to it. They’re either working together to cause trouble or they’re fighting with each other.”

You nod slowly at his explanation before a wry smile spreads, eyes flicking back over to the girls who are now sat being good as gold. “It’s okay. I had a friend in high school who was a twin. They had the worst fights but you did not want to come between them. It must be nice to have someone who will always be there for you.”

“You know someone with a twin too?!” Ji-soo exclaims loudly, her pretty eyes going wide with astonishment and Hoseok doesn’t even bother to stop his laugh this time. They’d never met any other twins before and they knew from people’s reactions that they were pretty special.

“I did! I’m not friends with them anymore but she had a twin brother, not a sister like you two. They had a special language that they would talk in and only they understood it.” At that, Ji-eun is the one to squeal in excitement as she claps her hands.

“We do! Daddy hates it when we do.” He grumbles good naturedly at that, pointing at them with his fork before taking another bite of lasagne with a grin. 

“Yeah, it was very strange listening to them. But that’s special though, it means that only you two will ever be able to understand it so it’s something that only you share.” They nod slowly, smiling brightly at your encouragement and his heart warms at how they seem to be pretty accepting of you so far.

His eyes flicker to Soo-ah who’s eating methodically, keeping quiet. She’s always been a quiet girl, but he feels like the silence is more oppressive this time and he chews slowly, wondering how to get her involved too.

You’re talking to the twins now about your favourite Marvel movie, because he’d told you all about their love of the superhero genre and it was a pretty easy way to win favour with them. It seemed to be working too, as Ji-soo was sidling up to you as close as she could get in her chair, her eyes stern with concentration as she discusses in her five-year-old language why she thinks that Black Panther is the best movie.

Which is then countered by Ji-eun’s outraged shout as she disagrees vehemently, proclaiming that the best film is obviously Captain Marvel because she’s a girl and she’s cool and powerful. It leaves him to smile as he rolls his eyes, you throwing your own hat into the ring with the suggestion that your own favourite film is the first Avengers.

He contemplates if he should have warned you about the fact that they’ll never stop talking now that you’ve shown an interest in their favourite subject ever. At least he’d never really mentioned their second passion lately which was Pokemon. 

Admittedly, he was on board with both of these passions but he’d spent so long now discussing them with two overly eager daughters that the very subjects inspired more of a sigh than excitement. Though he would still be taking them to see every film that came out.

“Soo-ah, did you know that Y/N goes horse riding? She even used to do show jumping in high school.” He gestures towards you with an overly bright smile, hoping that discussing his eldest’s favourite passion would encourage her to engage with you in the same way.

All he gets is a sullen look and a shrug before she puts another forkful in her mouth. Despair fills him momentarily but he’s surprised when you take the initiative and take up the conversation he’d suggested. He hadn’t even realised you were listening to him.

“I did! I used to go to competitions on the weekends with my horse, Artemis. She was a really good jumper but I wasn’t very good with her unfortunately. We never really won anything but it was just for fun. Now I just ride whenever I get time. Artemis is pretty old now so we just go trail riding.” Hoseok smiles as your eyes light up as you discuss your horse.

He knew that you were expecting to lose her any time now and it would probably hugely devastate you. After all, you’d had her since you were only 14 and she was still here, 17 years later.

“Cool.” Is the only response he gets from his daughter and he has to bite his tongue in frustration. He’d known that she was going to be the hard one to crack, but he didn’t think she was going to be this cold about it all.

“I think you’d like Artemis, Soo-soo. She’s a...Dutch Warmblood?” He looks at you in question, relieved when you nod in confirmation before he’s smiling back at his daughter. “You told me about those, right? They’re supposed to be really good at that kind of stuff? Maybe, if you want, Y/N will let you ride her.” 

“Of course, she’s really sweet and she’d be good for someone who’s never ridden. She’s old now but as long as you’re not mean with her then she’d be happy to take you round a ring. I think that you’d find her very pretty. She used to be dapple grey but is now just pretty much white.” You say with a smile, turning your head as Ji-soo asks if she can ride too.

“I don’t care.” Soo-ah says suddenly, her voice firm and raised and Hoseok looks at her sharply. Her cheeks are flushed while her brows dip inwards, annoyance and anger written all over her face. “I don’t care about your stupid horse or your stupid riding. I don’t care!”

The silence at the table is awkward after that and Hoseok feels numb, unsure what he’s supposed to do to resolve this situation. So he carefully places his cutlery down on his cleared plate and coughs quietly, giving Soo-ah a smile.

“Soo-ah, sweetheart. It’s okay-” He’s cut off immediately though, as if a switch has been flipped in her.

“Stop saying that! It’s not going to be okay! Because she’s going to come here and ruin everything! You’re going to forget about mom and we have to accept her! I won’t! I don’t care about you! I hate you!” She spat viciously at you but despite her anger, there’s tears brimming in her eyes and Hoseok has never felt more helpless. “I don’t want to talk to you! My dad might love you but I won’t! I never will! I love my mom!”

And with that, she slams her chair out of the way and storms out of the room. The thundering of her feet on the stairs as she runs to her room is soon followed by the resounding slam of her bedroom door and Hoseok feels stunned.

Blinking for a few moments, he watches as the twins faces crease slightly and he can see the tears in their own eyes as uncertainty and fear fills them. They glance between him, you and the doorway and he knows they don’t know what to do.

Are they supposed to be angry with you too, like their sister? He doesn’t want that, and so he clears his tight throat and smiles at them both, a little stiff but they still relax a little.

“It’s okay. Soo-ah’s...not happy about me bringing Y/N here. And she’s allowed to feel that, I’m not mad at her,” Okay, so he was a little bit as she’d just been incredibly rude and mean but it was already fading because most importantly, he understood her. “If you aren’t happy either, then you can tell me. It’s okay.”

Ji-soo looks at him, her beautiful brown eyes shining with unshed tears that she wipes away with a firm hand before shaking her head. “I’m okay daddy. Is Soo-ah okay?”

“She...will be. I’m sure. She’s just...it’s hard for her.” He smiles slightly, moving into Soo-ah’s chair to brush a few strands of hair out of Ji-eun’s face as she watches him quietly. Without even saying anything, she shuffles closer and leans against his side.

“Because she had mommy right?” The question is quiet and his throat feels so tight that it’s hard to swallow. They may only be five, but his twins are so smart and caring.

“Yeah, because she had mommy. So she remembers her, and she’s just worried. But we’re not gonna forget about mommy. She will always be important, okay?” He presses his lips to Ji-eun’s head, kissing her hair before looking at Ji-soo and giving her a reassuring smile.

They’re both quiet for a moment before nodding, and his heart swells with emotion as Jisoo turns to you and takes your hand in her own small ones. “It’s okay. We like you.”

He doesn’t get to see your reaction as he’s looking back at the doorway, wondering if he should go to her and check that she’s doing okay or just let her cool down. On the one hand, he doesn’t want her to feel suffocated when she’s obviously upset but at the same time, he doesn’t want her to feel like he’s abandoning her.

“Go.” You whisper and he looks back sharply, catching your eye as you gesture your head to the door. “It’s okay. Go.”

He stands up and goes to make a move before hesitating, uncertainty in him. You give him another nod and he lets out a deep sigh as his shoulders fall.

“I’ll be right back,” Hoseok smiles awkwardly, mouth stiff as he avoids your eyes. “Be good girls okay? I’ll be back in a few minutes.” He bends down and kisses the twin’s heads, taking in their expression to make sure they’re okay and feeling a bit of relief as their faces are cautiously neutral.

“It’s okay Hoseok, go check on her. I’ll be okay. I’m sure that we can find something fun to do, right?” You give him a tight smile, nerves evident as you look back at the twins with tentative hope. They’d reacted pretty well to Soo-ah’s outburst but he was worried that they might be mean while he was gone. But you give him a ‘go’ look and he knows that you can look after yourself.

So he heads out, feeling a little bad that he’s leaving the table but he has to at least check on Soo-ah. He isn’t sure if he’s supposed to be ignoring her or not but that feels wrong in his gut. She’s already worried about things he doesn’t even know yet, he’d rather not add to that by not coming to see her. At least she knows that her dad is always there for her, even when she doesn’t want him.

Her door is firmly closed and he stands outside it for a moment, hands clenching and unclenching as he’s unsure what to do now. This isn’t a conversation he really knows how to have, but he takes it as a positive really. It at least means that her life since Yoo-jin’s death hasn’t been too tumultuous. 

Taking a deep breath, he raps his knuckles against the door quietly and leans forward, his ear almost pressed to the door. “Soo-ah? It’s dad...are you okay?”

Silence answers him and his stomach sinks. He desperately wants to go in and comfort her, make her smile or just talk to her about her concerns but he’s been very clear over the years about their personal space. A closed door means that he can’t enter without their permission.

It might seem a little extreme given young they all are, but as the only male in the house he felt it was necessary to set those boundaries. When their door was closed, he wouldn’t go in unless invited. They’d grown to be pretty respectful of that for him as well and he was immensely relieved at the high levels of trust they all had with each other all ready.

They needed to know that they had a space that was private and safe, only for them. Which is why he lets out yet another deep sigh, his forehead resting against the white painted wood. It’s at moments like this that he wishes Yoo-jin were still here, so that she can help.

A flash of guilt runs through him then, both for wishing that she was alive when it meant he wouldn’t be with you but also because he is here with his daughters and Yoo-jin isn’t. Swallowing, he pushes that thought away before trying again.

“Soo-soo...I’m not...I’m not mad at you. I know you, and I know that you’re not mean or cruel. You’re just...I know this is confusing for you, and it’s hard. I’m not angry, and neither is Y/N. We understand, but I wish you’d talk to me. Please, let me know what’s upsetting you exactly.” Hoseok really isn’t sure what he’s meant to be saying to her but he’s speaking the truth; he isn’t mad with her.

He was at first, when the biting words spilled out of her. Firstly because he was simply shocked that his daughter could be that rude and mean but then secondly because he’d seen the hurt that had flashed over your face at her blunt rejection. But that had gone quickly when he’d seen the film of tears that had glazed over his little girl’s eyes and he’d known that she only lashing out because she was confused and scared.

“Soo-soo…” His voice trailed off, uncertainty over what to do when he heard noises from inside and his heart jumped a little. 

“Go away dad,” Soo-ah’s voice was strained and he could practically hear the tears, causing his face to grimace as his paternal instincts screamed at him to go to his hurting daughter. “Leave me alone.”

“Soo-ah...sweetheart…”

“Go away!” The words are shrill and he closes his eyes, feeling his whole body drain of energy as he recognises a losing battle. Well, no one can say he didn’t at least try. And at least he’s come to her, even if she doesn’t want him there. It’s not even one of those scenarios where she’s telling him to go away but he can tell she actually wants him there.

This is one of those times when she evidently wants to be left alone. So he will, for now at least.

“Okay Soo-ah, I’ll go. But I’m downstairs if you need me. Just come, or call, and I’ll come up okay? I’m not mad, you can talk to me,” He rests his hand on the door, trying to push through his love and affection to her. “I love you.”

With that, he lets his shoulders slump in defeat, waiting a few moments longer to see if she would come out before walking back down the hall. As much as he’d love to sit and wait her out, he has two other daughters that he needs to be worrying about. Two twin five-year-old’s, actually, who he’s left alone with you.

The realisation causes him to pause, eyes widening as he realises the carnage he could have potentially left you with. They’re handfuls with him, and he at least has the authority to ground them or tell them off. He can’t even imagine how easily they’re running you around.

Rushing down the stairs, he moves into the dining room only to pause in confusion, noting the suspiciously clean table. Heading through to the kitchen, he hears the dishwasher running and is even more confused.

The girl’s don’t know how to use the dishwasher, which must mean that you’d put them in there for him. Guilt rises immediately as he realises that you’ve cleaned up dinner for him, giving him one less thing to do. He appreciates it, but at the same time, he can’t help but think his mom would be scolding him right now.

You’re a guest in his house. Therefore, you should not be cleaning up after yourself. He should be doing that for you.

A sudden peal of bright, girlish laughter from the living room distracts him and he headed through the doorway in pursuit of it. The scene he comes across makes him pause in surprise, head tilting for a moment before a smile spreads and he rests his shoulder against the frame.

None of them have seen him yet, but the twins had you down on the floor with them as they showed you their expansive toy collection. Currently, they had the whole set of Avengers dolls along with others he’d bought for them from the Marvel collection. They were most definitely superhero girls, and currently they were fighting over who got to play as Captain Marvel.

Despite the fact they had three versions of her, but he’d discovered over the years that if one of them wanted something then the other wanted it twice as much. You were sat between them both, a bemused smile on your face as you held a Shuri and Black Panther doll in each hand, looking them over intently.

“Hey, hey! Come on now, let’s not fight, yeah? How about...neither of you be Captain Marvel because you’re both fighting? Why not be someone else? Shuri’s really cool,” You wiggle the doll with a grin, brows raising as you raise her arms up and pretend to fire lasers like in the film. “And then we’ve also got Nebula!”

“Nebula’s bad!” Ji-soo pouted, flopping down onto her butt and crossing her arms. Ji-eun pushed her immediately, laughing loudly as her sister fell over.

“Nebula’s cool! I wanna be her.” She grabbed the doll from you quickly and grinned up at you, pushing the sheet of black hair out of her eyes and behind her ear. He really did need to get their hair cut. It was a mess of tangles as usual right now, causing him to sigh as he knew how much of a struggle it was to get them to sit still and have their hair brushed.

“Nuh-uh, Shuri’s the best. She’s smart. I’m smarter than you.” Hoseok has to bite his lower lip to keep the chuckle inside that so desperately wants to escape as he watches your face fall slightly as they begin to fight once more. Welcome to his world, he thinks to himself, fully amused.

“Hey now, what have I told you both about fighting?” He says sternly, heading into the room and standing over them both with raised brows. There’s absolutely no need to look at you, because he’s fully aware that he’s using his dad voice right. 

And he was equally aware of your thoughts about his ‘dad’ voice, given all the times he’d been on the phone with you and suddenly had to to tell them off, or when he’d given them their goodnight call when they were with their grandparents. It had made him embarrassed at first, to realise his voice changed that much but you’d just been thoroughly amused.

Ji-soo immediately smiles at him, rushing up to her feet and running over to him with Shuri clasped tightly in her hand. He laughed loudly and came back over with her, small hand clasped tightly in his own as she directed him to sit on the floor next to you. Looking over at you with a small smile, he leans over and whispers to you.

“Thank you for cleaning up, but you really didn’t have to.”

“Hoseok, I was alone with twin five-year-old’s that I don’t know. When I’m anxious, I clean. Besides, it wasn’t any trouble and they wanted to help.” His brows rose at that and he looked back at the twin’s, taking in the sloping noses that resembled his own so strongly.

“Wow...so it’s just daddy that you won’t help, huh?” Pressing a hand to his chest, he pouts dramatically in a wounded tone that has Ji-eun giggling as she launches herself at him and settles in his lap. She’s getting too big to be doing this, but he won’t complain. One day, she won’t do it all.

“Daddy said we have to be good.” His heart warmed at that and an immense flush of pride swelled deep within, pressing a kiss to her head in pure paternal love. Glancing back at you, his cheeks flushed slightly at the look of adoration you give him and he just knows that you’re internally screaming at his interaction.

“So. If you’re Nebula, and Ji-soo is Shuri...then what can Y/N and I be? What about...if I’m Captain Marvel?” Ji-eun gasps loudly, shaking her head furiously and he splutters out a mouthful of hair as her ponytail smacks him firmly in the face.

“No daddy! You can’t. You have to be Iron Man!” He lets out another gasp, not actually bothered because Iron Man was cool but he’d actually wanted to be Captain Marvel. The film was great, sue him.

“Why? Because I’m a boy!” Yet he doesn’t push away the Iron Man doll, he calls them dolls purely because figurine is probably too hard for them to say to right now. The red and gold figurine is well used, scratches and dents marring the plastic surface from the intense playing they’d given him over the years.

Which included seeing if he could fly by throwing him out of the window onto the drive. That would have just gotten an eye roll from him normally, except they’d thrown him with some force and he’d landed firmly on Hoseok’s car. Who would have known that such a small toy would cause such a scratch on the windscreen?

“No daddy, because Y/N can be Pepper.” Ji-soo hands you a doll, smaller than the others and from the Iron Man 3 film but just as good. You take it from her with a gracious smile but he can see the confusion in your eyes as to why you have to be Pepper Potts and not one of the other superheroes. 

He doesn’t even think to question the fact that his kids that are doing that odd thing where they both seem to know exactly what the other is thinking. 

“Why Pepper? Why can’t she be Captain Marvel if I can’t?” Playfully, he pushes at the doll in Ji-eun’s hands and she giggles sweetly, looking up at him with those warm brown eyes that he loves so dearly.

“Because Iron Man loves Pepper, and you love Y/N.” Well...there’s not much room for argument there really. His cheeks once more flush red as he steadfastly avoids your eyes, oddly embarrassed at his daughters for outing him so thoroughly to you. You knew he loved you obviously, but the easy acceptance with which they react makes him feel a little odd. 

He doesn’t really know why, but he pushes it away and takes a deep breath. “Okay sweetpea. Now then...what bad guy are we fighting?” 

-

Soo-ah doesn’t come down for the rest of the night, nor does she let Hoseok into her room whenever he comes to check on her. It fills him with worry and he knows that he spends most of the night looking at the ceiling in anxiety.

He knows that, because he’s had more than a few comforting touches or smiles from you throughout the evening. An hour of playing with the twins had soon turned into them sitting with both Hoseok and you on the couch while episodes of Pokemon played on the flat screen television.

They seemed to have got along with you pretty well, and while they certainly weren’t being overly accommodating, they had been open enough that he got the impression that everything was going to be pretty okay with them. You had enough common interests with them to keep them entertained and he had the added benefit of them both being influenced by each other.

So if one really liked you, then the other would come around soon.

Ji-soo in particular seemed to be the one that he suspected would latch onto you with a few more visits. She was already more than enamoured in the stories you’d told her of the places that you’d been over the years and he wondered if you knew that you were probably going to end up with two little shadows soon enough.

After a few episodes of Pokemon, he’d put on Detective Pikachu at Ji-eun’s request because you hadn’t seen it before and they found that to be a complete travesty. It had been around 8pm then and he was being generous in letting them stay up later than he normally would in honour of your visit.

The first hour of the film had involved you having to spend more time listening to the running commentary from the twin’s as they explained important plot points, or what they was important, and point out every little thing. He was pretty sure that you hadn’t actually been able to properly watch any of it, and he made a mental note to watch it again with you at a later date.

And then everything had gone silent. He’d been so invested in his own thoughts and worry about Soo-ah that he hadn’t even noticed until the credits were rolling and no one had complained about it.

Turning his head, he couldn’t help the smile that spread over his face as he took in the sight next to him. Something he probably hadn’t expected to happen for months, but evidently all three were more tired than he’d anticipated.

Pulling his phone out of his pocket, he quietly unlocked it and turned on the camera before taking a picture. Staring at his screen, he grinned and set it to his home screen and placed his phone on the arm of the couch.

Ji-eun was curled up next to her sister, her head resting on Ji-soo’s shoulder until their hair blended together perfectly. Ji-soo on the other hand, was curled up into your side, your arm resting around them both while your head had fallen back against the couch, all three sleeping quietly and he felt a ridiculous amount of warmth and love for you all.

Carefully, he stood up and lifted Ji-eun up as slowly as he could so as not to wake her. She made a soft little noise of complaint in his arms but didn’t stir, not until he was shifting her bed covers until he could get her beneath them. Ideally, he’d like to get her into her pyjamas and have her brush her teeth, but he knew that if he tried to wake her then he’d just have grumpiness followed by an inability to sleep for another few hours.

So this time, he’d let them sleep in their clothes. 

He repeated the same actions with Ji-soo before giving them both a kiss on the head and whispering good night to them, turning off the lamp in their room and closing the door behind him while their night light glowed warmly. Heading back downstairs, he was left with the sight of you fast asleep on the couch.

Hoseok realised that he really, really liked the sight of you in his home like this. It was an odd feeling and he shook his head, moving into the kitchen and looking in the fridge. The dish of lasagne had been left on the side, some foil covering it as it had cooled and he looked inside casually.

There was one slice left, and without a word he put it into a small tupperware tub before heading back into the living room. Crouching down next to you, he placed his hand on your knee and pushed gently while calling out your name to wake you.

A quiet groan left you as you blinked blearily, eyes glazed until they focused on him. They were blank for a moment before filling with warmth as he smiled up at you. Glancing to the side, you frowned slightly at the missing girls and he laughed slightly, standing up and taking your hand to pull you up.

You wobbled slightly, leaning your weight against him as you got your balance but he took care of that by wrapping his arms around your shoulders and hugging you to him tightly. Neither said anything for a few minutes, just simply enjoying the feeling of being in each others arms and he wished that you didn’t have to go.

“Tonight was...good. I love the twins already, they’re...characters,” You chuckle against his chest and he can’t help but laugh in return as he nods. “But sweet. I really like them. And who knew you were this good at cooking hmm? Really got myself a man who can do it all huh?”

His cheeks burn bright red then as he makes a few protesting noises but you shush him loudly, leaning your chin on his chest to look up at him with an adoring expression. “I love you. Your family...is wonderful. I can feel the love between you all, it’s...really nice. Even with Soo-ah. I was a bit awkward but I can understand why she feels like that. I hope that she can come round to me.”

“I’m sure she will. One day. I’m not going to push her though. I feel bad about it because I knew she wasn’t okay with it, but she kept telling me she was. Maybe I moved too fast with it all.” You shake your head in response, tightening your arms around him and pressing a kiss to his chest.

“She’s a big girl, and if she tells you that she’s okay with something then you have to take her at face value sometimes. We all do things that we don’t really want to do. I get the feeling that she was trying for you and at least the ice is broken now. If she refuses to have anything to do with me then...that’s within her rights I guess. At least I’ve met her. Don’t beat yourself up about it, please.” He lets out a bone deep sigh before nodding slowly.

“Okay. Thank you. For today...everything. I...despite the thing with Soo-ah, I’m really happy. Like...really, I’m so glad that the twins seem to like you a lot.” Pulling away from him, you grin as you head out into the hallway and grab your jacket and bag.

“I’m glad that you’re happy. You deserve some happiness too Hoseok, remember that.” Nodding, he catches sight of one of the photographs of Yoo-jin on the wall and swallows thickly. You were right, he did deserve to be happy as well. Yoo-jin wouldn’t want him to wallow forever.

“Oh, you can take the last of the lasagne. This is not going to get eaten unless it’s by me having midnight munchies, and I do not need the extra weight.” Patting his stomach, he held out the container which you took with a bemused expression.

“You make out like you’re overweight Hoseok. You’re not. You’re cuddly sized.” The teasing in your voice causes him to roll his eyes but he just accepts you hug once more, the muffled thanks from you taken in gratitude as he takes a deep inhale of you.

“Be safe. Drive carefully. Text me when you get home.” You exaggeratedly agree to all of his demands before he lets you go, standing in the open door as you turn to him and pull him down into a goodbye kiss. It maybe goes on a little too long, but he doesn’t care.

“I love you.”

“I love you too. Text me.” He says sternly, wagging a finger in your direction as you head over to your car in the darkness.

“Yes dad!”

“Don’t start that again!” But his protest is pointless as you just laugh and get into your car, reversing out of his drive and pulling away. He watches until he can’t see your tail lights anymore before heading back in and locking the door behind him.

His usual nightly routine is followed after that, but after he brushed his teeth and had done his business in the bathroom, he heads back over to Soo-ah’s door and knocks lightly. There’s no answer, and he wonders if she’s gone to sleep.

It makes his heart hurt to think that he can’t resolve this tonight with her, but he decides that he’s going to try and heal the rift between them tomorrow. He has to. He can’t go on with his little girl being mad at him.

After a few more minutes of silence, he sighed heavily and turns off the light before heading into his own bedroom. He spends half an hour beneath the covers of his bed, scrolling through social media and the news on his phone. You haven’t texted him yet, and worry fills him when suddenly, a light knock reverberates around the room.

Sitting up suddenly, he frowns and calls out for whoever it is to come in. The door opens slowly and he’s met with Soo-ah, dressed in her pyjamas and her hair still in the pigtails from earlier. She looks shy and hesitant, her gaze on the floor as one hand crosses over the stomach, holding the doorknob firmly.

“Can I come in daddy?” Immediately he’s nodding, opening his arms to her and she quietly closes the door behind her before rushing over, climbing onto the bed and burying herself in his arms. Even in the dim light of his bedside lamp, he’d recognised the swollen red eyes of someone who has spent a long time crying and he coos to her softly as she wraps her arms around him tightly.

Laying back on the bed, he pulls her with him and kisses her head. “Soo-soo, what’s wrong? I’m not mad at you.”

“Really? I was mean though.” Her voice is more childlike than he’s ever heard it and his heart tugs for her.

“Yeah, I’m not mad. I mean...I wish you hadn’t been mean, but I know that it’s a tough situation for you. Y/N wasn’t mad either. I just...I wish that you would have told me that you didn’t want to and I would have told her to go home. You’re important to me Soo-ah, your comfort is important.” He whispers to her.

“I was okay with it, I swear. I was worried, because I don’t want her to take mom’s place. But I know you like her. And you’ve always been alone,” She pauses, burying her face in his chest while her small arms squeeze him tighter. “I tried, but...I just...I was angry. She’s pretty and smart and funny, and you look at her all funny and it made me angry because she’s not mom.”

Hoseok blinks a few times, trying to stop himself from crying as she blurts out all of her inner feelings. He can’t even imagine how hard this has all been for her, but he lets her continue.

“I want mom, I want mom because she’s pretty and smart and funny too but mom is dead so I can’t have her. But if you’re single then she’s still here. Y/N means that she’s not here anymore, because Y/N will be here and you’ll take down her pictures and then she’ll be our mom but she’s not our mom!” Her words are fast and staccato, not really making too much sense but he doesn’t say anything about it. She’s only ten, and she’s just worried and upset about everything.

“And the twins were being so nice and they didn’t seem to care! I just wanted to scream at them! What about mom! Why does no one remember mom?!” A hiccup soon turns into a sob then and he hugs her tighter to him, letting her cry out her frazzled emotions.

“No one is going to forget mom, okay? I’m not going to forget her and she’s not going to disappear from this house. She will always be here, because you and your sisters are here. There were always be pictures of her in the house for you and I will always talk to you about her, whenever you want. I miss your mom so much, and I still love her. My relationship with Y/N doesn’t mean that she’s going to be forgotten, because she isn't. She is important to all of us and Y/N knows that. She doesn’t want to take your mom’s place, because that place is your mom’s, like I said before.” Pressing a kiss to her head again, he swallows and contemplates how to continue.

“I won’t ever expect you to call Y/N mom, and neither will she. I know you Soo-ah, and I know this is hard for you. Harder than for the twins, because you got five with your mom. But don’t be mad at them. They don’t know any different than it just being us four. They never got to have mom with them, so to them this is all new. I just...I love you all, and I don’t want to hurt any of you.” The final sentence is whispered and he feels more than a little despair.

Silence falls between them for a while before Soo-ah speaks once more.

“Tell me about mommy. Was she nice?” He’s nodding before he even realises it, flicking through his memories of the 7 years he had with Yoo-jin before finding a story for her. And so for the next hour, he proceeds to regale his daughter with all the stories of her mom that she’d never heard before. Stories he’d forgotten over time, but now remembered so vividly.

Glancing at the photograph on the other bedside table of her, his heart hurts as he remembers his beautiful wife. Kissing Soo-ah’s forehead, he smiles down at her.

“You look just like your mom. I know that she’d be so proud of you, you’re such a good girl. I know that she loves you a lot, just like I do. Don’t ever doubt that, okay? No matter what happens, I love you and your mom loves you too.” Soo-ah’s eyes fill with tears once more and she sniffles.

“I’m sorry daddy. I’m sorry I was mean to Y/N. I don’t hate her.” He laughs softly, pulling her back into a bear hug and squeezing her until she giggles, the sound making his heart soar.

“I know you don’t. I know you Soo-soo, and you’ve got too big of a heart to ever hate anyone. She knows that too.” Soo-ah quietens after that and he hums lightly, some song he heard a long time ago but can’t remember the name of. It seems to be working as Soo-ah’s eyes droop closed and she fights desperately to stay awake.

“Tell her I’m sorry. I’ll be nice next time. I swear,” She mutters, voice thick with sleep and he grins and acknowledges it. “Will she still let me ride her horse?”

He desperately wants to laugh at that and part of him wonders how much of this is because she wants to ride a horse. But he’s not going to look a gift horse in the mouth, pun fully intended. He would give Artemis a big, juicy carrot whenever he saw her.

“She’d be happy to. If you want to, then I’ll let her teach you how to ride as well.” A tiny noise of happiness leaves his daughters mouth but she doesn’t say anything further, eyes closing finally before she’s fallen fast asleep.

He doesn’t expect this to be the last time she’ll have an issue with him dating you, in fact he fully expects more issues as she comes to terms with her feelings regarding the whole thing. But at least she came to him and told him what was upsetting her. And more than that, she had apologised for her behaviour. He wanted to apologise to her as well for putting her into the situation, but instead he was just going to have to make sure that he paid more attention next time.

For ten minutes, he simply enjoys the happiness he feels from the reconciliation with his daughter and the exultation he feels at the fact he’s not having to go to sleep with her angry at him. Finally though, he gets up and carefully takes her to her own bed, musing to himself how he ended up doing this with every daughter tonight when he hasn’t had to put Soo-ah to bed like this in years now.

When he gets back to his own, he sees the message icon on his phone blinking and eagerly jumps back into bed, turning the screen on to see that you had finally texted him.

[9:31pm] Y/N: I’m home :)

[9:31pm] Y/N: I stopped at the store and they had a 2 for 1 on your shampoo. 

[9:32pm] Y/N: You can keep one here and take the other home :)

[9:32pm] Y/N: Also bought a candy bar. I’m eating it now. Mmmm

He grins at your texts and shakes his head before his fingers are flying across the screen, typing out his own response.

[9:35pm] Hoseok: Mean, you know I can’t eat candy

[9:36pm] Y/N: We established that was a lie yesterday Mr Jung

[9:36pm] Hoseok: :(

[9:36pm] Y/N: I’d share my candy with you :)

[9:37pm] Hoseok: Ha. Thanks. For the shampoo too <3

[9:37pm] Hoseok: I just put Soo-ah to bed. She came to me. Told me why she was mad. She says sorry

[9:38pm] Y/N: She doesn’t need to apologise! She’s allowed to be mad. Is she okay?

[9:38pm] Hoseok: Yeah, it was exactly what I thought. Worried about her mom. I just have to make sure she knows I won’t forget her

[9:39pm] Y/N: You won’t. I don’t want to take her place. Even though I kind of am but you get what I mean

[9:40pm] Hoseok: I do. And I love you for it

[9:40pm] Y/N: I love you too

[9:41pm] Hoseok: She also wants to know if you’ll still let her ride Artemis

[9:42pm] Y/N: Lol, of course! 

[9:42pm] Hoseok: Kinda said you’d teach her how to ride too

[9:43pm] Y/N: Haha, again, of course. I’d be happy to for you :) and the twins if they want

[9:43pm] Hoseok: Thank you. I’m gonna sleep now. I love you <3

[9:43pm] Y/N: I love you too <3

He grins at the final message before placing his phone on the bedside table and looking at the picture of Yoo-jin and him on his own table. Smiling softly, he reaches out and brings it closer to him, rubbing his thumb over her face beneath the glass.

“I hope you’re okay with this baby. I’m sorry you can’t be here, I wish you were. I hope you’re not mad at me for being with Y/N. I think you’d approve though, I really love her a lot already and she makes me so happy. I miss you, but I hope you’re okay with me moving on. I won’t forget you though, like I told Soo-ah.” Placing the frame back on the table, he turns off the lamp and curls up beneath the covers with a sigh before drifting off to sleep, his dreams filled with his daughters, you and Yoo-jin as a happy family together.

[somedayonbroadway]

It’s spooky season so... Coraline AU?

Ooooooh this is gonna be a fun one.

Coraline AU

Characters

Racetrack Higgins — Coraline Jones

Jack Kelly — Mel Jones

Katherine Plumber — Charlie Jones

Crutchie Morris — Wyborn Lovat

The Bowery Beauties — April and Miriam

Obadiah Weisel — Mr. B

Todd Kloppman — The Cat

The Spider — The Other Mother

JoJo De La Gurra, Specs, Henry — The Ghost Children

Medda Larkin — Mrs. Lovet

Albert DaSilva and Spot Conlon — Manhattan Friends

Okay, so…

Tyler “Racetrack” Higgins-Kelly is a curious eleven year old boy, drawn to odd and peculiar things. Growing up, the boy can often be found reading books on witchcraft and the unexplained, which is one of the main reasons he had such trouble making friends. No one wants to hear him talk about ghosts or alternate dimensions or witches. But Race loves it.

This all worries Jack, his half-brother and guardian who adopted him when he was five years old. See, Jack was never under the impression that his baby brother was a normal little boy who would be into superheroes and action figures, but he’d hoped Race would grow into being a little more extroverted and happy. Race has a lot of energy and likes to talk a lot which makes caseworker visits a bit hard on Jack who doesn’t want his baby brother talking so freely about somewhat violent and ridiculous things. But they get by.

Throughout elementary school, this odd little boy only manages to make two friends, Spot and Albert, who help him fight off bullies and such. He adores his friends and is just about destroyed when Jack and his fiancé Katherine sit him down to explain to him that they would soon be leaving Manhattan for Santa Fe, all the way across the country, for Jack’s new job as an animator.

Race is angry with his brother, claiming that he’s ruined his life by making this decision, not knowing that Jack has been dreaming of having this job for years. Katherine, a young writer who is working on her own novel, tries to sit him down and explain why this was happening, that Race would make new friends and maybe even find new places to explore. Race still resents both Jack and Katherine, Katherine who had just officially adopted him as she and Jack were engaged to be married.

Still, Race has no choice but to say goodbye to his friends and sit by while Jack forcibly packs away all of his things into boxes, trying desperately to cheer him up by telling him about the mansion they’ll be moving into, a house that had been divided into three separate apartments. He tries to hint at his baby brother that it might be haunted or peculiar, but Race is not interested in hearing this, not even as they’re driving away from their old apartment.

When they arrive at their new home and Katherine and Jack help their hired movers to arrange everything in their new apartment, Race is told by his brother, whom he’d been bothering by grumbling and complaining to him all the way, to go outside and explore, but to not wander too far. Race does as he’s told, still angry, but glad he at least has a chance to test out water witching.

The boy finds a dowsing rod and lets it lead him to a hidden well, scared half to death by a black cat who’d been following him since he’d stepped foot off of his porch and another odd boy, only a year older than him who informs a confused Race who can’t find the water his rod had led him too that if he stomps too hard, he’d fall into it.

The well Race had stumbled upon is said to be so deep that if fallen into, one could see the stars in the middle of the day. Race is immediately drawn to it. The odd boy, Charlie, offers to push him in, but Race just shoves him in the shoulder, explaining that he doesn’t like to be stalked by psycho nerds and their cats. Charlie tries to tell Race the cat doesn’t actually belong to him, but he does feed it every night and give it baths sometimes. The cat doesn’t like to get dirty or wet. Race calls Charlie’s cat a wusspuss.

This odd boy is very observant and has things of his own creation saddled all over him, most of them looking to be dangerous weapons, and, even if Race doesn’t necessarily like it when this kid runs his mouth, he can’t help but admit to himself that those gadgets are pretty cool. He does note that Charlie walks with a limp, and finds the boy has a metal leg. Charlie asks Race where he’s from, guessing LA or Chicago, based on Race’s mannerisms and clear uncomfort to the quiet that surrounded them. Race just shrugs it off and tells Charlie that he’s from Manhattan.

Charlie explained that he’s shocked that Race lives in the “The Lodge” which is what folks around the place call the old mansion. Charlie’s adoptive grandmother and caretaker, Miss Medda, made it clear that she doesn’t rent out the apartment to people with kids. Race thinks nothing of this and tries to move on, but after noting that Race was out water witching, Charlie inspects the dowsing rod the younger boy had chosen and instructs him to wear gloves next time, as the rod Race is holding is poison oak. It doesn’t take long for a rash to spread on Tyler’s hands.

Later, back at home, Tyler tries to tell Jack about his day, rambling on about how he’s almost fallen into a well and died, but stressed out with all the work from his new job, Jack brushed him off, asking him to unpack and entertain himself rather that go back outside now that it’s raining. Jack really doesn’t like mud. But, Katherine comes inside not too long after, holding a gift for Racer, a little doll with button eyes that looks just like him. Race is at first a bit creeped out, but then figures Charlie altered the doll to look just like him, on account of him wanting them to be friends even though Race finds Charlie slightly annoying.

Either way, he takes the doll with him through the house, even after telling his guardians that he’s much too old for dolls anyway.

A couple hours after that, Race begs his big brother to let him go outside once again but Jack refuses, telling him this apartment is filthy enough and he can continue unpacking more than the single box of snow globes that he’d unpacked when they’d first arrived or find a way to entertain himself because Jack is busy working and is brand new at his job and has a project due and doesn’t want to get fired before he’s survived a week. So Race goes to bother Katherine instead.

Katherine, has just gotten over a writer’s block and is on a spree. She is writing a graphic novel (that Jack is illustrating for her) and she really doesn’t need any distraction, but when Race walks in to ask if he can play outside, she brushes him off, asking what the boss said. When Race admits that Jack said, no she says no too and Race starts playing with the creaky door behind her, just to try and get a rise out of her.

See, since this whole thing started, Jack and Katherine both had been somewhat ignoring him, for a lack of better words. Both stressed out from artistic deadlines, they leave Race alone for the most part and Race has never really been good at being alone. He misses when Jack used to play with him and when Katherine used to read with them and make him laugh. He missed them and, as he is a small child, the only way he knows how to display these emotions is to get very frustrated and angry.

When Katherine suggests Race explore the house, as it’s about a hundred and fifty years old, Race does, knowing that no matter what he says, Jack and Katherine are still gonna have to do their work.

He takes his doll with him on his explorations where he finds boring paintings, boring windows and a disgusting shower. He accidentally hits a switch that turns off the electricity in the house and he hears Katherine screaming, as she’d been working on her novel on her desktop. The boy feels guilty but flicks the switch back and runs away, as though he’d never done any such thing.

Still he continues on, counting the windows as Katherine had instructed until he sets his doll down and turns to find it gone. When he finds it, it’s still in the same room, only it’s hiding behind an old painting that’s leaning against the wall. Upon moving the painting, Race sees a door encased behind horrible wallpaper and calls out to Jack to figure out where the tiny door leads. Though he tries to explain that he’s very busy, Jack eventually caves asking Race that, if he were to do this for him, he’d leave him alone and let him and Katherine get some actual work done. Race agrees.

In the kitchen, Jack finds a drawer full of forgotten keys and rummages around, trying to find whatever key it was that would unlock that door for his baby brother. He finds an odd looking key, one that’s top looks like a button. Jack’s not sure why, but he knows that must be the one that unlocks that small door. He unlocks it, only for Race to pull it open and find a brick wall. Disappointed, Race begins whining again only for Jack to tell him that they made a deal and to quiet down so that he can do some work because his deadline is in a couple of days and he has to finish this project.

Later that night, after Katherine cooks a dinner that Race doesn’t like, he pesters Jack about why Jack doesn’t cook anymore. Jack is a really good cook, and he used to cook for him all the time before they’d moved, even when he’d worked two jobs. But Jack tells Race to be grateful to Katherine who always sings him a sweet little song before giving him food. He promises Race that he’ll go shopping soon and get him something he likes. The boy just rolls his eyes and grumbles so Jack makes him take a few bites before sending him off to bed.

Race goes, taking his little look alike with him and snuggling it as he drifts off to sleep, as the little doll makes him feel a little less alone.

In the middle of the night, Racer is woken up by squeaks sounding from beneath him. He finds that there are four little mice running around his room. Rather than being scared of them, he follows them out into the hallway, down through the apartment, past Jack and Katherine’s room, into that little door.

When he opens the thing, he finds the brick wall gone. Instead, there’s a twisting, glowing blue tunnel. Race gapes at it, believing this to be some kind of dream. Still, he crawls through to the other side, rolling through a door at the end and finding himself in a lit up apartment that exactly mirrors his own. And something smells amazing.

Following his nose to the kitchen, Race finds Jack cooking in the kitchen. Only, it’s not Jack. The man looks just like his brother in every aspect but one.

He has black buttons where his eyes should be.

Race is stunned by this, but, upon asking where he was and why Jack was cooking in the middle of the night, the man responds that he is in fact Race’s big brother; The Other Jack. The Other Jack explains that everyone has another family, but doesn’t go into depth about it. He just smiles at Race and excitedly states that he’s been waiting for him and that he cooked this dinner to celebrate his arrival. He then asks Race to go get The Other Katherine, who is in her study.

In Katherine’s study, Race finds The Other Katherine playing the piano and singing, something she used to do for him when he’d first started to understand she’d be becoming a big part of his life. Race finds that she too has buttoned eyes too as she whirls around to pull him into her lap and helps him play the keys like they used to. Race is sad to end this moment, but does tell The Other Katherine that The Other Jack says it’s time to eat. Not even a little upset by this, The Other Katherine scoops the boy up and takes him back to the kitchen where The Other Jack has set up a beautiful meal of steak, potatoes, corn on the cob and rolls, complete with a literal gravy train and a milkshake chandelier. Afterwards, The Other Jack surprises Race with a cake that decorates itself right in front of him, a special “Welcome Home” message written across it. Race is a little hesitant, but can’t help but feel happy here, where he doesn’t feel so alone.

Noting his hesitation, The Other Jack suggests they play a game. Maybe, hide and seek in the rain. It’s only when Race mentions that it’s not raining that the sky opens up and rain pours down. The Other Jack and Katherine claim they love mud and want nothing more than for him to be happy. The Other Jack even states that mud is good for poison oak, something Race never mentioned he had. A bit nervous at this, Race suggests he should get back to the other Jack, his first big brother. When The Other Jack says that he can stay as long as he wants, Race states he’s tired and should get to bed.

Upon arriving in his backwards bedroom, Race finds that the picture he had on his dresser of Spot and Albert is moving and they’re talking to him. His bed is completely made up, unlike the cot he has at home as they haven’t gotten that far in the ways of unpacking. While talking to his button eyed friends in the photo, The Other Jack spreads mud over Race’s rashes gently and lovingly. Then, The Other Jack tucks him in and kisses him goodnight and he and The Other Katherine stay with him until he drifts off.

Waking back up in his own room, his poison oak completely gone, Race rushes to tell Jack what happened and Jack let’s him ramble on as he pours his brother a bowl of cereal, letting him eat before he tells Race about their crazy neighbors, telling Race he should meet them and tell them about his odd dreams, that the actresses downstairs might be curious about hearing his wild stories. Katherine, however, does joke with Race about having The Other Jack making her some kind of remedy to help her sleep through Jack’s snoring at night, but Jack sarcastically laughs and brushes her off and tells her that if the real Katherine wants her illustrations done she better get writing.

Race does go off to explore, going downstairs to meet two former actresses, Kaitlyn and Beth (named after the two actresses who play The Bowery Beauties in Newsies Live). Even though Jack has instinctively made fun of his neighbors already, calling the actresses old bats and the old man upstairs a drunk, Race gives into his curiosity and knocks on the door downstairs, finding that the two old actresses are nearly crazy. They claim to be somewhat psychic, though, and Race finds that interesting.

When Beth reads his tea leaves, she sees that he’s in terrible danger, even though Kaitlyn claims she must be reading it wrong.

Still, Race goes along like nothing is wrong, wandering back to his apartment and finding mail that doesn’t belong to his guardians sitting on the porch. He goes to return it, finding an eccentric old man that Race believes is a little creepy. The old man says his name is Weisel, but Race purposely gets it wrong, calling the man Weasel, instead, just to get a rise out of him. Weasel states that he is training mice to put on a circus. Realizing this man must be a little crazy, he goes to leave before the old man tells him that the mice have a message for him.

Don’t go through the little door.

Weasel shrugs it off, telling Race that the mice are a little bit crazy. But Race knows exactly what they’re talking about.

On his way back down to his door, Race is stopped by Charlie who is out slug hunting with his feral cat. Race asks if Charlie made that doll look like him to which Charlie replies that he found the doll that way. He also says that if his Grandma found out that he was near The Lodge that she’d kill him. Medda says this house is dangerous.

He then goes off to tell Race that Medda had a twin brother when she was little that disappeared and was never found. Medda claims that he was stolen.

Race gets annoyed with Charlie when Charlie rambles on and on and won’t listen to a word Race says about the Other World inside his house or The Other Jack. Even though he has fun with Charlie for a half an hour he still finds him a bit annoying, even if he is nearly as off as Race himself.

That night, despite all the warnings he’d gotten throughout the day, Race leaves some cheddar cheese out for the mice that lead him to the small door the night before. When he wakes up to hear them again, he excitedly follows them back through the door and finds The Other Jack readily waiting for him, lifting him up as he cooks, pressing a kiss to his head to thank him for the cheddar he brought them. Then he tells Race to go fetch The Other “Better” Katherine, letting him know that she’s out in the garden.

When Race finds The Other Katherine outside, he finds that she has made the garden look perfectly like a replica of Race’s own face. She explains that The Other Jack said he’d love it because he knows Racer like the back of his hand. Race can’t help but admire the gift before The Other Katherine takes him back to his Other Home and The Other Jack reveals that he’s made breakfast for dinner. They eat before explaining that Mr. Wiesel from upstairs invited Race and Charlie to see a mouse circus.

Race is annoyed that there’s another Charlie, but The Other Jack reveals that this Charlie can’t talk and is always smiling. That he fixed him. So Race goes with The Other Charlie to see the circus, marveling at the circus where they’re given popcorn and all the candy they can eat. Well, Race eats it. The Other Charlie just smiles and holds it all. After this, they head downstairs and Race is carried to bed by The Other Jack and his Other Family stays with him while he drifts off to sleep.

The next day, Race rushes to the door, just to see if it  really is just a dream. But it’s locked. Later, as Jack places him in the car, explaining to him that Katherine has a meeting with an editor back in New York and that they need to go shopping for new school clothes, Jack lets Race ramble on about this Other World on their way to the airport to drop off Katherine. But when it comes to school shopping, Race immediately whines about the boring, colorless clothes Jack picking out for him.

He does ask for one thing. A newsboy cap that he finds at the store they’re at. Jack tells him he doesn’t need it, even though Race tries to explain that everyone else will be wearing the same clothes as him but no one else will be wearing that hat. Jack tells him to put it back. When Race comments that The Other Jack would buy them for him, Jack does his best to hide the hurt but he then shoots back that maybe The Other Jack should buy all of Racer’s clothes.

Race asks Jack why he locked the door to which Jack responds he thought Race might feel safer because he found rat droppings in that room. Jack doesn’t like these dreams of Race and is starting to think it might be dangerous to indulge them. But the boy insists they’re the most fun he’s had since they moved.

Those words hurt Jack even more. But he knows he can’t argue. He hasn’t been spending a lot of time with the kid.

When they get home, Jack reveals he needs to grab some groceries and asks Race to come with him, promising to let him pick out something he liked, but when Race gives him attitude, Jack just sighs and leaves him alone, telling him that he’d be back and that he loved Race. Race just lets him go.

When Jack’s gone, he immediately goes searching for the key to the little door, unlocking the thing and finding the glowing blue tunnel to be waiting for him. He knew it wasn’t just a dream.

Crawling through to the other side, Race finds a note waiting for him. He’s been invited down for an acrobatics show at the apartment of the two actresses and The Other Jack would be back later to cook him dinner. Race smiles at this and heads down to meet Charlie and see the show.

Before he can get there, however, he meets a cat, a cat that looks much too similar to the one the real Charlie has following him everywhere. Believing him to be The Other Cat, Race addresses him like he would any other cat, but when the thing starts speaking to him, he jumps and scrambles back, confused. The cat informs him that he’s not some Other. He’s just him. He tells Race that this is something that he and The Spider did sometimes. It was a game. When Race asks who The Spider is, the cat ignores him. He hints at the fact that he was once friends with The Spider, having found this world as a young man and finding it interesting until he’d made a mistake. Race doesn’t get to ask anymore questions before the cat who’d said his name was Todd Kloppman catches a mouse that turns out to be a rat.

Race, a bit nervous by all of this, still continues on to meet The Other Charlie.

The show is spectacular. Beth and Kaitlyn go from being their old selves to their younger selves in an instant and even bring Race in to be part of the show. He loves it.

Charlie silently walks Race home and Race is excited to see The Other Jack at the door. He doesn’t see the silent warning The Other Jack gives The Other Charlie when he sees the boy not smiling.

At the dinner table, The Other Jack and The Other Katherine tell Race that they have a surprise for him and push him a small gift wrapped box. The Other Jack explains that Race could stay forever if he’d like, but he’d have to do something first. Inside the box, Race finds. Two buttons and a needle.

The Other Jack wants to sew buttons into his eyes.

He explains that black is traditional, but Race could have any color he’d like. Suddenly, all of the warnings Race had been given rush to the front of his mind. He tells The Other Jack that he can’t see buttons in his eyes and then tries to laugh off the offer and go to bed, hoping he’d wake back up in his real home. But when he wakes up too soon, he’s still in The Other World.

He goes to try and get back to the little door but finds it locked. When he finds The Other Katherine, she’s mindlessly playing the piano and rambling about how The Other Jack is losing his strength and needs it back and that’s why she’s so tired. He rushes out to go find The Other Charlie, despite The Other Katherine’s insistence that it would do no good.

He runs out of the house and finds Todd lurking about. He walks with the cat into nothingness as he walks away from the house, while Todd explains to him that The Other Jack has alternative motives. He jokingly suggests that maybe The Other Jack lured him here because he was looking for something to eat.

They walk around the small world, ending up back at the house where Todd finds another rat and The Other Jack comes out to meet Race and offer him chocolate, seeming to notice his hesitation. He informs Race that even the toughest of spirits can be broken with love. But Race tells The Other Jack that he wants to get home to the real Jack.

As he continues to ask the buttoned eyed Jack to let him go home, The Other Jack gets angry and demands an apology. When he doesn’t get one, his true form begins to show.

As he grows angrier, he grows taller and thinner until he has a spider-like figure that Race is horrified by. The Other Jack, yells and drags Race towards a mirror, throwing him inside and telling him that he can come out when he’s learned to love him. Race is trapped.

Realizing that there’s no way out, the boy tries to lay down on the small bed inside this dark, windowless chamber. He’s terrified when he sees three ghosts curled up on the bed, all three having buttons for eyes. They ask Race if he’s next and Race doesn’t fully understand what they mean. He asks their names and they reveal they don’t remember them but they miss their real families. The ghost children explain that The Other Jack is a type of witch that can appear however it wants to to lure children to it because it feeds off of curiosity and the best source is the eyes of curious children. They explain that they were given a doll that had their likeness so it could spy on them. That The Spider is an entity that finds where a child is the most unhappy and lures it into this fantasy world to eat its eyes. The eyes then become a part of the world as the world is a part of The Spider, the entity that lives there.

They tell Race that their souls are trapped in this world because they don’t have their eyes but if they were able to find them, they’d be able to escape. They ask Race to find their eyes if he can, but to worry about escaping first and foremost lest he wanted to end up like them.

Only a few minutes later, gloved hands reach through the mirror and pull him out. It’s The Other Charlie, trying to rush him back through the door. The Other Jack hears them and Race tries to pull his silent friend with him but The Other Charlie shows Race that he’s only made of sand before he pushes the boy through the tunnel that is now a creaky dark wooden crawl space lined with spider webs. But Race forces himself through and slams the door in his real home screaming out for Jack.

No one comes running.

Race runs around the apartment, longing for safe arms and reassuring words but Jack’s just not there.

Upon realizing this, Race rushes to his neighbors, telling them that his brother was missing only for them to brush him off and tell him that Jack was probably just out running an errand. Beth, however, does give a Race a little trinket, a triangle with an eye whole in the middle of it. She says it’s for finding lost things.

Charlie finds him and asks for the doll he gave him back and Racer tries to tell him what the ghost children told him, and he realizes that he met Medda’s twin brother. Charlie is confused by this and calls Race crazy before running (limping) away towards his home.

Race tries to call Katherine. The phone won’t connect. He cries, begging for Jack to stop playing this joke on him because he doesn’t like it, but Jack doesn’t pop out to comfort him.

Race is all alone.

So he curls up on Jack and Katherine’s bed, shaking and crying, trying to wake up.

He’s woken not too long after that, by a cat pawing at his nose. Confused and scared, Race asks if Todd knew where his brother was, shocking to find that the cat nods at him. He follows the kitty to a full length mirror in the hall, watching the thing swirl in a mystic blue before he can see snow blowing harshly all around a shivering young man who’s only wearing a t-shirt and jeans.

Jack rushes to the glass when he can see the little boy. Race gasps and tries to get to him, but finds that he doesn’t know how. Jack pressed his hand against the mirror, tears in his eyes as he has no idea what’s happening, but he knows his baby is on the other side of that glass.

In a fit of panic, Race bangs on the glass and the mirror shatters around him. He knows that The Spider is behind this. And he knows he has to go back to The Other World.

As he crawls back through the tunnel, Todd follows him, instructing that he should make this into a game. The Spider loves games. So Race takes his advice, though the cat warns him that The Spider won’t play fair.

The other door opens and someone who appears to be Jack shouts for him, nearly in tears as he reaches for the boy. But, upon touching him, Race realizes that it’s just another one of The Spider’s tricks.

The Spider asks why Race would run away from him while dragging the boy to the kitchen to make him breakfast. Race demands his real brother be returned to him but the Spider claims that Jack must’ve just run away and gotten bored of him. After The Spider sends The Other Katherine away, Race proposes that they play a game, anger rising in him at the entity pretending to be his brother, but more at himself for wanting to get away from Jack and Katherine in the first place.

The Spider is intrigued by the prospect of a game, unable to back down from a challenge. So Race explains that he’d find the eyes of the ghost children and his real brother and that if he did, The Spider had to let him and everyone else go.

The Spider accepts.

But Race demands a hint.

“In each of three wonders I've made just for you, a ghost's eye is lost in plain sight,” is all he gets before The Spider vanishes and leaves him alone.

The little boy does his best to explore, needing to find the eyes of the ghost children. The first in the garden The Other Katherine had made for him, the second in the theater Beth and Kaitlyn had cheered for him, and the third in the mouse circus where rats were now crawling over spilled candy and popcorn.

Race uses the small thing Beth had given him to fight his way towards those treasures, nearly getting swallowed by the small world, torn apart by the puppet twins and eaten alive by the rats that made up a Weasel. But he finds every eye. All that’s left is finding Jack.

However, as the night settles over The Other World, The Spider claims Race might be too late. Ever clever, Race manages to trick The Spider into unlocking the small door he’s locked up already, claiming that he knew that’s where the which had hidden his big brother, all the while knowing that Jack was trapped in a snow globe on the mantle, something he’d figured out after seeing a tiny handprint on the glass.

He grabs the glass and tumbles through the tunnel, leaving The Spider behind after an epic battle that the ghost children, finally free, help him win. They help him back inside his own home where Race hastily locks the door and goes to run, only to slip on something.

One of the snow globes is broken.

The front door opens and Jack calls into the house, saying that he’d just picked up Katherine from the airport. When he sees his baby brother kneeling in glass and water, he immediately rushes to him, still covered in snow, though he has no idea what Race is talking about when he hugs him tight, sobbing about him being free. Jack just helps him to the kitchen and cleans him up, apologizing to him because he knows this has been an adjustment for Race and he knows it’s been hard on him, but he just wants to make it up to him.

Race just hugs him and Katherine so tightly, never wanting to let go.

After his guardians tuck him into bed, Todd curls up next to him as he drifts off. He dreams of the ghost children, who thank him refusely for setting him free. But it’s not over, they tell him. Race is still not safe.

As there is only one key to that door, The Spider will find it and Race needs to hide it where he’ll never be able to get it.

So, in the middle of the night, Race runs out into the woods to that old, forgotten well with his cat, nervously humming the song Katherine would sing to him all the time and planning to drop the key down the well. Little does he know, one of The Spider’s crawling hands is following him, ready to strike before Charlie rushes to save him, nearly getting pushed into the well himself. But the slightly older boy manages to crush the hand with a stone and together he and Racer drop the key down into the never ending well.

And Race is finally free.

He grows to love the neighborhood and the mansion he gets to live in. Jack and Katherine even host a barbecue on his insistence, inviting everyone, including Charlie and Miss Medda who Charlie explains he’s never seen so at peace.

And though Race refuses to go anywhere near that little door again, all is well.

Race has his real family who love him dearly. And that’s all he’ll ever need.

For more Mood Boards and AUs, click here!

@racetrackhigg

[one-abuse-survivor]

hi, it's the milky way again

it's been a while since i've dropped something in your mailbox

i've now finished the school year and the grades and reports are coming in tomorrow or the day after. i'm kinda scared of them because i know they dropped a lot since last year but i'm pretty sure i passed most if not all of my courses so i think it'll be fine.

i started working a summer job a week ago and i'll be working the next week too. it's mostly because i need the money so i can replace my broken phone but also because we had to do some kind of job/workplace experience thing because of our school (that was voluntary though because of covid). the job pays really well so i might also get a new binder with the money since the one i have now is falling apart. on the other hand, working 8 hours a day for five days straight has really taken all of my energy and i can't listen to music while working which makes it a lot harder. the last week i've mostly been coming home in the evening, maybe eating something and going straight to bed.

(also i got my period last thursday and i hate hate hate it so much it makes everything so much worse even without the dysphoria it's just so messy and annoying to deal with)

a week ago i finally jumped over my shadow and talked to my mom but it was a huge disappointment. i'm pretty sure i couldn't get my point across in a way she'd understand and she kinda just admitted not being able to help after saying a bunch of things that really hurt. i removed myself from the situation by "going to bed" aka going to my room, locking my door and crying myself to sleep. i was just really pissed off and talking to her was kinda my last resort for when i realized i couldn't help myself anymore.

anyway, the day after that was monday (when i started working) and me, running on barely any sleep because the night before was a disaster, had to somehow survive work and i'm pretty sure i ignored or snapped at a lot of people that day which i feel kinda bad for.

on wednesday after work i talked to my mom again because i was pissed off and couldn't let it sit. she said the same kind of bs she had used on sunday and we got nowhere, since then i've probably been a lot less friendly to her but i'm just not ready to give up so much energy for her.

her favorite arguments we're things like "but others have it a lot worse" (which is a mindset i've worked on getting away from for quite a while) (also my mom was referring only to my grades with this but little does she know that the only reason why my grades aren't dropping that badly is because no matter how bad i got mentally, i yeeted stuff like self-care before school because school had always been structured and mostly clear while life in general was just. not.)

other arguments she used were "just get off your phone and set a timer for 45 minutes and concentrate on what you wanna get done" and "just pull yourself together, it's not that hard" (those were about me saying that i struggle with starting tasks and getting shit done)

lastly she also said that my expectations are just way too high and that if i didn't expect only the best from myself (this was about grades too) i wouldn't get so disappointed if i didn't get that great grade i was hoping for. and like, she's not wrong but if you've only ever been good at one thing in your entire life and you were really good at it, then you'd just expect nothing but the best from yourself because you know reaching that isn't impossible.

and she ended it with "what do you expect me to do?" and "i can't help you" and i realized later that i just should've said that she should help me get someone that *can* help me, like a therapist or something.

anyway, i'm proud of myself for finding a summer job and finally talking to my mom and not so proud of my grades and the fact that i can't seem to get the point across to my mom

thank you for creating this safe space for people like us, i wish you a happier time than the one i'm having :')

milky way here :|

got the reports and grades and stuff yesterday and i'm just :| about it. like, yea i know i'm still somewhere at the top of the class and that i'm more than one and a half grades better than some others in my class but i'm still upset about my grade in maths for example but my parents laughed/chuckled at me when i was upset and that really hurt

and afterwards my mom said something along the lines of "yes you're allowed to be stressed but because of your good grades you don't have the right to complain about being stressed" which is absolute bs and i still don't understand how having good grades disqualifies one from complaining and i'm sure as hell not gonna ask her

i just wanna scream in her face but i'm pretty sure she'd slap me if i did that

i'm almost done with my summer job and since monday noon i had the chance to work in a different part of the factory which is a lot less uncomfy to be in because it has AC and since it's not in the lab itself, i don't have to wear a hair net, an overall, steel-toed boots and rubber gloves.

today i set myself a few goals for the summer break and for the next school year and i really hope i can get through with those because it'd make future-me extremely happy

have a great great time :D

and PS: since tumblr has been eating a lot of notifs lately i missed a lot of your posts and i tried filtering by the milky way anon tag but only one post showed up. i'm not sure what's up with that tho

Hi again! Don’t worry, I got you. Here’s a link to all the asks you’ve sent up to this point: first, second, third. All of them are tagged, but the tumblr search engine isn’t exactly known for its accuracy. I use the tumblr original post finder site for this stuff, but I just realised by looking for your asks that the site takes capital letters into account, so the ones that were tagged with a capital M in Milky weren’t showing. They all do show now that I changed the M to lowercase. So I’ll have to try to be more consistent with that from now on 😅

On to your asks. First off, congrats on finishing your course! And I really hope you can replace your phone and your binder :D sorry about getting your period, though, that really sucks :(

I think the conversation with your mom that Sunday is the one discussed on the third ask I linked. I'm really sorry the same thing happened on Wednesday. It's not your fault you can't get across to her—she's the one who should be open to helping you and offering possible (actual) solutions to the problems you're bringing up to her, and not you who should spell out every single thing she can do to help you. You're not being unclear to her—she's being obtuse and refusing to listen.

You're not meant to know how to just "pull yourself together", and you're absolutely right that your grades not dropping all the way doesn't mean you're not struggling, and you still deserve help so you don't have to jeopardise your mental health for your grades. And while she's right you don't deserve to be so hard on yourself or to expect perfection from yourself, that's also something that you deserve professional help with. Again, you're not meant to know how to just turn off those emotions and thought processes.

*hugs* sorry your math grade wasn't as high as you'd hoped. It's okay to be upset and disappointed by that, and I'm so sorry they laughed at you. You do have every right to express your emotions, and you're not being unfair to anyone else for being unhappy with your own grades. I often feel the same! I get really good grades (as I think I've already said), and I also often feel disappointed when a grade isn't as high as I'd hoped. There's nothing wrong with feeling that way. I'm really glad you know what your mom says is bs, because it really is. It's no wonder you feel like screaming in her face—she sounds incredibly frustrating, exhausting and invalidating to deal with. You deserve so much better than this 😔

I'm so glad you're proud of yourself! I'm really proud of you too for everything you've accomplished despite her being so unhelpful and invalidating, and I really hope you're enjoying the rest of your summer holidays and you can reach your goals! And if the occasion arises and you do end up using the "you can help me find someone who can help me" line, I hope it goes better. But if not, again, please know this is an issue of her refusing to listen, and not of you being unclear about what you need.

Sending a huge virtual hug ❤️

[multisugars]

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧— how they comfort you when you’re stressed out

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬// 𝐚𝐧𝐱𝐢𝐞𝐭𝐲 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬, 𝐛𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠

𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧 — can you do an outsiders reaction where the reader has too much on their plate (work, school, etc.) and their SO asks them if they're ok and the reader just bursts out crying from stress?

i did add a couple different sceneries! because i didn’t want to write the same thing for each of them, but it all has the same feel to it!! xx

𝙙𝙖𝙧𝙧𝙮

your boss decided to call you into work last minute. it’s only been a few hours since you returned home. which means you haven’t even gotten enough sleep to feel replenished. you wished so badly to tell him no, but he’s extremely hard headed and strict. especially towards the woman that work for him. and, you know you could use the extra money, as you’re putting on your uniform you can’t help but feel a sense of tiredness, it’s so overwhelming it makes you start to feel weak at the knees. you immediately call out for darry.

“what’s wrong y/n?” he asks worriedly.

“i-i’m just so tired,” you cry out. “i feel like my boss never wants me to have a break.”

you sit in the chair that rests in front of your vanity. you’ve never felt this exhausted in your entire life. darry takes notice at your weakened state, he hates to see you so worn out. it’s not normal for you to lack energy, you’re the most bubbly person he knows.

“okay, lets lay you down,” darry slides his arms under your legs and carries you over to your shared bed. you’re more than capable of walking yourself, but you don’t complain.

“just take a nap and rest awhile you need it more than anyone.”

“no,” you struggle to escape his strong hold. “i can’t i have to go to work.”

“not today, you’re not goin’ in i don’t care if i have to go talk to your boss myself,” he pulls the blanket over you tucking you in warmly. “rest now.”

“thank you, darry.”

𝙨𝙤𝙙𝙖𝙥𝙤𝙥

you’ve been working towards your masters degree in psychology for the past two years. you’re so close to being done but it’s so much work and the assignment you were just assigned is crazy difficult and time consuming, you try to push yourself to get more done before bed, but eventually your hands start to cramp from the all the typing, your muscles ache from the hours of sitting at your desk. soda comes into your room when he gets home from work. he’s immediately concerned when he sees you hunched over with your head in your hands.

“y/n...” he questions. “you alright?”

it doesn’t take much for you to break. all the stress finally came piling down on you.

“hey,” soda kneels down lifting your chin so he can see your face. “relax.”

“there’s so much pressures on me,” you vent. “this assignment is impossible.”

“nothing’s impossible for you,” he reassures. “you can do anything. i just think you need a break.”

“yeah i definitely do, will you lay with me for awhile?”

“of course i will,” he smiles shyly.

𝙥𝙤𝙣𝙮𝙗𝙤𝙮

you anxiously walked up the tall stairs into your HS, today was the day of your history presentation. this is what you’ve been dreading for the past week. public speaking wasn’t at all something you were comfortable with or liked doing, and it doesn’t help that you aren’t friends with anyone in your class, well besides ponyboy. he’s the only one you speak to.

you meet him in the hallway, putting your book bag and unneeded things in your locker. ponyboy noticed your hands shaking as you closed the door.

“you scared about this whole history thing huh?”

“uh- a little,” you shrug trying to hide your nerves.

“you’ll be fine,” he tries to reassure you.

but before you can walk away you can already feel the familiar stinging sensation starting to build up in your eyes, your heart rate accelerates, you feel like you’re drowning and can’t reach the surface.

“i can’t breathe,” you say as sheer panic overtakes your body.

pony’s face softenes. he grabs your hand dropping his books, taking you into the nearest closet.

“shh just look at me okay?”

you nod focusing all your attention on him. he runs his fingers through your hair while wiping a few tears away from your eyes. you take slow steady breathes. this isn’t the first time he’s had to help you get over a panic attack. once your breathing gets back to normal again, you feel like you’re finally ready to go to class.

“okay,” you breathe. “let’s go.”

“ uh we’re gonna need a late pass... unless you want to spend the end of the day in detention.”

you look down at your watch noticing you’re about six minutes late to history.

“damn it!”

𝙙𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙖𝙨

it’s been a busy night at the movie theater. you’ve tried your best to fill everyone’s orders while also working the cash register. your boss previously complained about how many workers there are on each shift so he cut back. sadly this leaves you to try and get so many things done at once. the stress of it all is starting to really affect you, but you can’t quit. you need this job more than anything right now so you can afford to get books for school.

even though your boss a jerk you do somewhat like this job, you’re a people person so seeing familiar faces every week puts you in a good mood, but every now and then you’ll get a disrespectful customer. this time it was a group of boys, you recognize some of them from the college you attend.

“what shit movies are playing tonight?” one of them asks while skimming through the candy.

“can you read? look at the boards outside..” you try your best to keep your cool.

“i don’t think you employees are allowed to talk to us paying clients like that,” his demeanor quickly shifts.

“hey we gotta problem here,” you hear a voice from behind the guys. knowing immediately who it is.

they quickly scurry off, as dallas pushes himself to the front of the line.

“you okay doll?”

“i am now,” you say softly as you wipe just a single tear from your cheek. you didn’t really care about the boys but it never feels good to be embarrassed at your place of work.

“don’t let those jerk offs make you cry.”

you nod and sneak in a quick kiss before dal leaves.

𝙟𝙤𝙝𝙣𝙣𝙮

“why can’t he do it this time! i’m going to be late!” you argue. your parents have asked you to clean the house again for the third time this week, and you normally don’t have a problem with helping out but your brother has been sitting in his room playing video games all day and you need to be somewhere. you feel like they always pick you at the most inconvenient times, and the worst part is johnny is waiting for you outside, you’d hate to make him wait.

“your brother is sick and slow! it would take him an hour to even sweep the kitchen,” you mom says as she puts her coat on.

“he’s not sick! he’s playing video games!”

“do it y/n! or you and johnny won’t be going anywhere tonight,” you dad warns as he slams the door behind him leaving you in a mess.

“WHATEVER!”

you collapse on the couch, breaking out into a full on crying fit. it feels like your parents are punishing you. johnny must have heard your cries from the front porch because without knocking he opens the front door, approaching you slowly.

“hey you okay?” his asks trying to help but this only makes it worse.

your cries get louder and johnny is completely stunned. he’s never seen you this emotional. you’re almost positive he’s going to think your absolutely insane after tonight.

“my parents hate me!” you say dramatically.

“i don’t think that’s true.”

“they are always making me clean things or do everyone’s chores,” you sigh. “we can’t leave until i sweep and mop all the floors.”

“well i’ll help ya,” johnny offers.

“really?!”

“yeah, but we better get started...” he pulls you up from the couch bringing his jacket sleeve up to your eyes so he wipe your tears away.

𝙩𝙬𝙤-𝙗𝙞𝙩

“i get that ma’am but i don’t have the receipt.”

“then i’m sorry hun...we can’t exchange it.”

you were trying to get a new shirt for two-bit. the one that you previously ordered had came in to small. but since you ordered it off the store website you didn’t have a paper receipt, and your order wasn’t showing up on their computers, which made you frustrated.

“so there’s no way i can get a new one? or even just get my money back?” you question.

“i’m sorry,” the cashier shakes her head obviously uncomfortable with the situation.

you don’t respond, instead you leave the shirt on the counter and walk out. it might not be a huge deal for some people but you didn’t have a lot of money. and you were out 25$, with nothing to show for it. when you get home two-bit is lazily slumped over the arm rest of the couch, drinking a beer.

“hey baby where’d you sneak off to?”

“the clothing store down town...”

“what’s up? you seem upset?” he asks lifting himself up from the couch.

your shoulders slump down as you bring your heads up to cover your face.

“wow wow don’t cry! sorry for askin.”

“no it’s not that,” you tell him. “they wouldn’t let me exchange your shirt today.”

“and that’s what you’re cryin over?” two-bit laughs wrapping his arms around your frame. “it’s fine.”

“i just wanted you to have something special.”

“you’re all i need y/n.”

𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙫𝙚

steve had decided last minute to stop and get gas at the DX before the two of you finish your date. this annoyed you a little since you tell him every morning to just fill up while he’s at work, i mean makes sense right? but with his forgetful nature it’s hard to keep him on track with things. when you pull into the gas station it’s pretty empty, only one car parked along the gas lineup. steve steps out to pump and you go into the store to pay. when you walk in you’re met with a very rude and arrogant man who pushes you aside so he can be helped first at the register.

“excuse you sir?” you’re taken aback. “i was in line first.”

he laughs not offering you a response. the lady working the register meets your gaze and mouths “i’m sorry” in your direction. she must not be a very confrontational person, which you understood.

“i’m only paying for gas it won’t take long,” you add hoping the man will let you go since steve is waiting outside in the freezing weather.

“not my problem, you got somewhere to be?”

“actually yes, i do.”

“dressed like that?” the man scoffs. laughing as he scans up and down your body.

you might not have name brand clothes like him, but they weren’t dirty or disgusting looking. as he hands the lady his credit card to pay you can’t help but hang onto his cruel insult. right before you’re about to storm out the doors, steve runs right into you, latching on tightly to both sides of your arms. you lean your head into his chest.

“hey what’s goin’ on?”

you wrap your arms around his waist, crying softly as you reply the mans insult over in your mind.

“that man he-he was being a complete jerk!”

“what did he do?! huh did he hurt you!” steve becomes more aggressive.

you shake your head.

he takes out a handkerchief from his pocket and wipes your eyes gently, while also trying not to smear your eye makeup. you laugh at his sweet gesture.

“you’re the best,” you lift onto your tiptoes placing a small kiss on his forehead.

“i know,” he smirks. “now let’s go outside before that jackass leaves i wanna give him a piece of my mind.”

[fimflamfilosophy]

Characters: Tearing Each Other Together

After the world-sweeping success of my previous article (forty notes on Tumblr, wow!) and being driven out of my house due to mold for the second time in two months, I think the time is right to add another essay to the subject of character design and writing. But what’s left to say after having definitely solved the entire process of character writing the last time?

Well, suppose you can figure out the emotional state of one person. That’s well and good, and oddly harder for people than you might imagine. And I think the reason it’s so hard is because in virtually any show you’re not going to be given a character in a vacuum to learn that process from. They have some story, something they’re trying to overcome, and other characters they’re bouncing off of, and the actual process of conflict is more complicated than knowing who your characters are.

Hate, Love, or Indifference, It’s All A Struggle

So what’s the essence of a story? There’s some motive that’s trying to be achieved. A conflict. And I can’t stress this enough. Conflict. Because it’s one thing if you say your main character is a kid who wants to be the best Poke’mon trainer and completely another to have that be a concrete objective with a satisfying story and conclusion. Wanting to be the “best” isn’t actually conflict. It’s a dream. Being forced to travel the known world to acquire eight gaudy pins that probably cost twenty-five cents each to manufacture? That’s conflict.

And not only do you have to travel the world, you do so with a shrill red-head who explicitly hates you because you trashed her bike, and a sex-starved pervert whose life dream is to make Poke’mon mate with each other for a living. And that’s important. Without Misty and Brock, Ash’s journey is a lot less interesting for a lot of reasons. Misty calls Ash out every time he messes up, and aside from being on a watch list, Brock is a helpful older character who tells Ash, and therefore the audience, what’s what.

But let’s back up, because people understand the benefit of Brock and Misty at a basic level, but when you’re starting off, how do you know who those people should be? Well, every show, from sitcom, to comedy to drama, does its best to balance personalities against each other so there’s always some sort of conflict possible between them.

Now, “conflict” doesn’t mean they’re trying to kill each other. It could mean they’re falling in love with each other. Maybe it means they don’t have much in common but have to work together over long hours in isolation. The idea is simply that there’s something to overcome between these people. Misty thinks Ash is stupid - that’s a conflict which is often leveraged to push Ash forward. Brock, however, has a reactive role in the show, only functioning in conflict when a womanizer who grovels at the feet of ladies Ash is already helping anyway.

It’s odd because if Misty were older she would be set up very well as kind of an “opposites” romantic torture device with Brock. They’re even depicted as professional equals, which would have made their levels of expertise and experience more balanced. Had they been closer in apparent age, a “will they won’t they” romance would have fit adequately, with Brock’s constant hitting on other women serving as a major, hopeless, long-lasting roadblock to a serious relationship between them; it would work especially well because Misty is established to have an inferiority complex to her prettier sisters. It also might help explain why Brock hung around so long. But as it was, Brock’s main contribution to the inner dynamic was to act as a mediator, caretaker, and mentor.

But circling back to Brock’s dream of Poke’mon husbandry. Well, on the meta level that’s why he doesn’t leave. Because it’s not a motive, he’s not taking steps towards it, and it’s not going to happen, it’s just a dream. Until it does happen, anyway, and then they wrote him out of the show - but we’ll dig more into this later.

Balancing Imbalance

The best place to look to see good conflict set ups between characters are popular sitcoms. Consider the show “Frasier”: it ran for eleven seasons and revolved mainly around the personal spats of Frasier, his brother Niles, their dad, and the dad’s caretaker, Daphne. Frasier was arrogant, Niles was insecure, Dad was an earnest roughneck, and Daphne was well-meaning. Frasier and Niles were also elitist pricks at times so they couldn’t even always agree where to eat together, much less with their father who was happier having a burger with ketchup.

Every episode had some central motivator; an ice fishing trip, a joint investment, an awards ceremony - but these things were just catalysts to the main conflict, which was almost always something between characters. We’d seen it time and again, that Frasier and his Dad would come to blows over differences in taste. Niles would try to court Daphne while torn by his commitment to his failing marriage, over and over. But the pithy banter and the way they resolved it would always be new, so people watched this show, episode after episode, for over a decade.

And the simple beauty of it all was that each of the characters had something to do with each other. Whether it be filial obligation, lust, sibling rivalry, friction between introversion and extroversion, or taste in food, they always had some source of conflict to make a show out of. Niles and Frasier were both psychiatrists, but from different schools of thought and different working environments, so they even had chances to butt heads academically and professionally. It was rich with writing opportunities and it’s not any wonder it lasted so long.

Another sitcom, “New Girl”, which was about a group of roommates, had a good dynamic set-up between two characters, Schmidt and Nick. Nick is a messy slob and Schmidt’s a type A neat freak, creating a really obvious source of conflict to work with. But then they had a third character, Winston, who they lampshade as the token black guy. 

Now, the joke that Winston is the “black friend” has pretty much no legs, so in the early seasons you see him acting as kind of a third party mediator, or maybe a wild card, and it winds up being funnier when Winston is unhelpful. So as the seasons went on, Winston gradually lost his damn mind. He becomes a cop and meets a woman so that he’d have some character growth and dynamic, but also develops into a man who would burn a building down as a prank. The writers had no idea what they were doing with him and he gradually flew further and further off the handle.

Don’t get me wrong, I really liked Winston as a character. Aside from being funny in the show, watching the writers gradually unglue him from sanity was its own meta comedy above that. I knew they were doing it on accident, but having such a good time with it that it was just going to keep getting worse. In fact a major component of the finale for the whole show is an insane thing Winston does. They wrap the show on the note, “Winston is crazy”. And it all happened because they didn’t figure out what Winston’s conflict was at the start. He didn’t have a source of conflict with anyone, so the man became a living breathing embodiment of conflict in general.

Your Story Ends With the Conflict

Now, the catch is, in any type of fiction, whether a video game, a roleplaying session, or a sitcom, the story ends when the conflict does, because if the conflict is over there’s nothing more to tell! It used to frustrate me to no end back when “My Little Pony” was popular and the other nerds on the internet used to ask, “How many times must Fluttershy learn not to be shy, or that being shy is okay? When will she overcome all that she is and eliminate the core element that creates conflict for her?”

The answer should always be that the character will learn their damn lesson when the show ends or when they’re written off it. If you are sick of seeing a character and don’t want to see them any more, the best thing to do is close out their issues, because once they have no conflicts, they have no story, and there’s no point in doing a show about them. Asking Fluttershy to stop being shy is asking to say goodbye to her, because she's a cartoon and her job is to entertain kids by being neurotic and yellow.

People think they’re so smart when they say they’d solve all a character’s problems if it were them. In the finale to the first season of Poke’mon, for example, Ash decides to gamble his whole championship run on Charizard, who’s a self-absorbed bitch of a creature that ultimately throws the match and leaves it an open question whether Ash might have won if he’d left the team primadonna sitting on the bench.

Some viewers see that and complain it’s the dumbest possible thing Ash could have done, but it’s probably one of the single most brilliant things the Poke’mon writers did in the grand scheme, because think about where it left us. Ash didn’t achieve his goal of proving he’s “the best”, but it feels like a fluke and if he got another shot, he might make it all the way. This gave the show a gateway to more episodes with Ash still having something to prove and a dumb mistake indicating he still had a lot to learn. Because he didn’t win, his story hadn’t ended.

In some cases shows can end characters just by addressing some dream goal they’ve been expressing since the first season. In the case of Brock, they intentionally removed him from the show by introducing him to some girl who was willing to work with Brock in the animal husbandry business. He’d been traveling all this time, his dream opportunity fell into his lap, and he was gone. What reason would he have to refuse, and why would anyone stop him? And of course, Brock’s dream job was incompatible with the central plot elements of the rest of the show, so that was it!

The Format Informs the Conflict

If you want to write something but you aren’t sure when it’s going to end, you need a concrete, long-term conflict that’s not just going to go away. For example, in “Scooby Doo and the Thirteen Ghosts”, there were thirteen ghosts. By design, that show should have ended after Scooby Doo found all thirteen ghosts. It actually ended earlier than that because it was cancelled, but you get the idea. When you have a finite goal, your run time is going to be finite as well.

At least in theory. In “JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure” they establish at the beginning of one season that everyone’s magic powers were based on the Tarot. Now, I don’t know the Tarot off hand, but as the show went on I knew that sooner or later they’d run out of Tarot cards, and in my mind I assumed the season would be over when the Tarot ended. But then I got a good chuckle when a guy showed up and his powers were based on a totally different theme, because I knew the writer had realized he’d stumbled into something good and wasn’t ready to end it. He invented a cheap excuse to keep going! And I think if “Scooby Doo and the Thirteen Ghosts” had been successful they’d have managed to unleash a whole lot more than thirteen ghosts because Hannah Barbera was not exactly a studio with a lot of shame.

Character conflicts like those in sitcoms are a great way to have conflict perpetually, because people don’t really change that much and there’s no reason why most of the fundamental friction shouldn’t be there indefinitely. But of course, character-driven conflict is going to be secondary in an event-driven show. “Jojo” actually does have a lot of character conflict, but the plot is primarily about the battles and the journey - if all the fighting ended Jojo’s characters probably couldn’t carry a sitcom, at least not without some serious hard work, a little genius, and a touch of elbow grease.

For event-driven conflict, you’ll want to establish a target - a moving target if you don't know when the story ends, and that can be pretty difficult. Old action shows and comics used to do it by having a rotating cast of villains, so that after one was defeated another would show up tomorrow, and it was assumed these guys regularly broke out of prison, or they escaped in rocket pods, or whatever, and they’d be back later with a new goofy scheme. In these cases you tend to find reactive heroes; they patrol the streets until a lunatic in tights and a garden-themed hat shows up and transforms everyone into people-shaped topiaries somehow.

For active heroes, you need to establish something that requires a lot of structure, like Ash’s journey to win the Poke’mon League. In every country he visits, they all have this asinine rule that you have to go to eight unique locations and kick the ass of someone who disadvantages themselves with an easily-countered mono team that all have the same exact weakness. You can’t be accepted into the League if you haven’t proven you own a water Poke’mon to utterly flatten the fire gym! Let’s be real, this nonsense is probably designed intentionally as a money gate - most people run out of cash before they qualify. Either way, it ends when Ash wins the league, and he lost the league so the show could keep going.

For roleplaying games, the same rules apply. With your players, you’re either going to establish a reactive goal - an adventuring guild hires a bunch of colorful salarymen with silly accents to go to a dungeon as part of their nine to five job - or you need players to set an active goal for themselves and keep the realization of that goal beyond their reach until you’re ready to end the game.

The Active Hero Acts

In my younger years, I learned to roleplay in almost exclusively player-driven games where we were expected to come up with our own goals and pursue them ourselves, but I’ve discovered that is stunningly rare in most roleplaying circles. Your typical D&D player likes to play the salaryman with a funny accent who doesn’t have to worry about the venturous part of adventure. His boss told him to go to the Cave of Everlasting Wonders and Torturous Screams, recover the Sword of Bad Portent, and then hand it over to the department of magic items where they’ll file the paperwork to get it delivered to the patron that wanted the sword for some reason. No need to have your own motives.

But what if you want to play a crime fighter who actually, you know, busts up all the crime? Clearly you can’t just wait for crime to happen passively - you’ve got to go after people. Act instead of being reactive. Purse snatchers are small time and in a more grounded setting the guys you’ll catch by being passive are just grunts being hired out by someone - usually kids in a lot of cases. You have to seek out the bosses.

Making an active character to fit into any setting can be challenging, and I’ve seen quite a few pitfalls. I think one of the funniest motives is always “the guy who wants to go home” due to its obvious failure condition. A lot of stories are about everymen who just want to get out of trouble, but those stories end when they get out of trouble! In many books, movies, shows, or roleplaying games, you’re almost always going to find opportunities to send that guy home, and you’ll have to either conveniently ignore it, switch motives and decide not to go home, or end the whole story with going home. These characters only work where the story is happening to them and it's all out of their control.

I’ve also seen my share of the “quirky genius inventor/scientist”. When someone designs a character mistaking a dream for a motive. They dream of building a better mouse trap, you see. That’s their inner conflict. And while this is a real world conflict, it’s difficult to make it a good story because actual science and invention involves a lengthy quantity of controlled experiments. You breed hundreds of fruit flies, expose them to nicotine, and try to isolate the gene that causes nicotine resistance. It can be fascinating work at its level but sometimes the most exciting part of your day is when you give yourself a steam burn cooking the fly food. The “quirky scientist” in fiction is usually more of a mentor, and if he insists on staying in his lab doing his work then he’s not even a main character - he’s a guy who explains fruit flies to the audience and then is never heard from again. Other times he’s the asshole who invented the story’s whole problem.

I once played in a game with “the quirky scientist who wants to go home”, and man was that a frustrating ride. The game itself was about occult magic and demons, and for most of the game the scientist was experimenting with teleportation magic to go home and was focused on that above the goal of finding and eradicating demons (the game’s premise). And when he finally met a boss demon that could teleport him home to his lab, he went! We wound up retiring a character who, to be honest, was barely even interested in the main subject of the story. Had he been in a film or a show, they’d have cut the character after the first draft because he served no purpose and wasted screen time.

So how do you make sure your character has a working, proactive goal, in a nutshell? Establish a goal that can be achieved by the character within the framework of your story through action by leaving his house (or after burning his house down so he can’t go home), and then make sure the goal is big enough that it will take many broad steps to get there - those steps need to be concrete and visible, not things that would happen off-screen. Most importantly, tie that goal into the main premise of the story, so that reaching the end of the story generally may achieve what the character wants.

If You Aren’t Trying, It’s Not A Trial

Okay, I understand that last bit probably requires more unpacking. But think of it this way. There’s a writing structure referred to as the “Hero’s Journey”. Basically it goes like this: the hero is forced into adventure, he meets friends and goes through trials, he hits his lowest point, he is reborn into a better man, he ends the conflict, story over.

What I’m talking about specifically right now are the trials. The “wacky inventor” is usually presumed to do all his research off screen because most media likes to focus on the results of the invention and the conflict. But if you were to focus on the trials of a scientist, it’d actually be about procuring research grants and potentially materials. You wouldn’t watch a show about a man who checks gene A-235 for nicotine resistance in flies, then goes on to A-236, then A-237.

If I were to write a story about a researcher, here’s one thing I might do: the researcher fails to find what he’s looking for in gene A-235, and when he goes to seek a grant to look at A-236, he finds one of his colleagues has convinced the university that the protagonist’s research is a dead end. Hearing this, the researcher realizes he’s about to lose his lab, so he writes a bit of a lie into his report on A-235. He says it may prevent cancer.

Now, the protagonist is, deep down, a good man. He thinks this will generate some buzz at the university and get him more funding, but he’ll do a follow-up and show the data doesn’t hold up. After that he’ll ask for money for A-236 and everything goes back to normal. But disaster strikes. His article, which was only supposed to show up in an obscure research journal, gets picked up by a major news network and winds up being spread all over. Suddenly he’s “the man who cured cancer”.

And as he’s trying to figure out how to navigate the issue, another researcher comes out and says that under peer review, he was able to replicate the results. He too shows that A-235 cures cancer! Now the hero isn’t sure. He becomes a celebrity and simply lies about his research because he has no real data, but try desperately as he might, in private he just can’t get the results the peer review insisted were there.

He struggles and struggles, coming to blows with his colleague who’s scrutinizing his research notes. Throw in a love interest who’s impressed with what this guy did, and actually I think I’ve just described the plot of some movie I saw a long time ago about faking cold fusion. I think Albert Einstein was a supporting character in it. In my version the twist would be the peer reviewer was also trying to get a grant by lying. Point is, the central conflict of the film certainly isn’t the scientific process, it’s all the crazy crap that happened on the way from point A to point B.

The story is in the trials. If nothing changes, if the character doesn’t have to change their way of life or go through anything special, it’s either not a story or it’s not your typical story. There are plenty of experimental films or well-regarded books that can make a certain banality become interesting. Stories that explain the simple struggles of day to day living for people on hard times. But the trials, the palpable challenges, that’s really the meat of it all. When you think of what your character should be doing throughout the story, he should be going through these efforts, these steps, these trials, all in the name of whatever his broader goal is.

Where You Start Affects Where You End

It also matters quite a lot when and where characters are introduced. A lot of tales follow some basic notes, and one of the more common elements is “crossing the threshold”, which prevents your characters from going back to their life before the adventure. It’s used because it compels the characters forward, as they have no other direction they can go. It can be anything: the character’s home town is destroyed, the character commits a crime, he accepts a contract, his mother dies - so long as it prevents him from going back. It’s especially useful in roleplaying games where you really need everyone to be driving forward.

In one such roleplaying game, I got in a spat with the guy who wanted to run the game because I was trying to make a leader character, but the game master wanted to base his game around a movie he’d seen with a single main character. He’d elected another player to be that main character, and explained to me he’d be starting the game after that character had already crossed the threshold and had begun his journey. This meant that everyone else were supporting cast and could go back to their normal lives at any time, because they were coming willingly from where they were and not really facing any drastic changes to their personal status quo.

I eventually resolved not to play in that game at all, because none of the character dynamics I wanted were going to work. It was supposed to be a “wannabe” superhero game, with the premise that everyone wanted to be heroes, except one player had already started the journey and it turned out another had already reached the end of that arc and was going to play a character that had been a hero going on years before the story began. There was no plan to really reconcile the narrative clashes.

If that game were to work as it was, without me being present, then the person playing the pre-established hero would have needed to take the mentor role. The other players besides the main character would have needed to be comfortable in auxiliary roles, and the group would have to play as though they were part-way into the story. Still learning to be a team but well past the initial stages of a plot, and they’d all need to think up reasons to be in this group individually on their own, because the threshold had already been crossed and they didn’t cross it together.

The friend running the game was actually dismissive of my advice here, arguing that I was overcomplicating everything with a meta analysis of narrative and structure when all we need is a basic drive to play, and I don’t think he realized he’d set himself up with a much more complicated game and less cohesive premise by going about things as he had.

The already established hero couldn’t be the mentor because a mentor character had already been created as an NPC. The auxiliary players weren’t really informed at the outset they’d be auxiliaries - especially not me who’d wanted to play the team leader. The player who’d been designated as the central protagonist didn’t want to lead or be the central protagonist. It could have worked, but it would have taken a lot more planning and many more concessions than a typical game.

In a more recent game, I’ve got another bit of an issue with the start misleading the general goals of the players. It’s a sci-fi game, and first, one player is doing “the quirky inventor scientist”; his current stated dream is vaguely to create transhumanist technology. He also wants to play the leader, so he established himself as the most important man nobody has ever heard of. He has spies in every major institution in the known galaxy and is a genius beyond comparison. He’s currently based in a rusting pirate ship in the middle of the space boonies doing nothing with his life save being the most important man.

Meanwhile, I set up a disgraced military officer with a revenge quest against his own nation. But the pirate crew my character joined turned out to not believe in structure nor leadership and they killed their last commander to have a system of “democracy”. My structure-minded character has tried to take the lead and drive us forward, but he runs into general deconstructive resistance and the “quirky scientist” wants to be the leader, but hasn’t yet expressed self-motivated goals.

It’s not exactly my most harmonious game and there’s quite a lot going wrong here, but here’s how it could have worked: first, establishing that the crew of the pirates respects no leadership places the entire crew in the precarious position of being “chickenshit” at the outset. That kind of incohesiveness is why a band of rogues gets easily defeated; it’s not the behavior of scrappy men of action, but hopeless men of inaction. A corrupted “democracy” collectivises failure while awarding success to whoever actually has the most power in the group structure - it protects the weak leaders from responsibility and disincentivizes good work by allowing those same men to reap rewards while offloading the burdens to those lower on the ladder. In essence, “If things are screwed up, blame the democracy. If things are good, I did it.”

What should have happened was the “quirky scientist” should have been in charge to start with, because otherwise he has no reason to be on board the ship. He’s the most powerful man in the galaxy, after all. If it were because he was financing the pirates to go on raiding and salvage missions relevant to his research, then it would make sense. He’d have a purpose and a position of leadership just as the player wanted. It would also establish the pirates have some command structure and a level of respect for it that allows them to function.

And the power struggle between the disgraced officer and the scientist? Perfectly reasonable character conflict that would drive actual, meaningful roleplaying and story. The scientist may bankroll the operation but the officer is the tactical talent and the two pull in opposite directions, as power-hungry men often do.

However, the opportunity to start with a sensible and meaningful social dynamic has passed, and on top of that the “quirky scientist” keeps his galaxy-wide power a secret, so it’s all kind of messy and “badly written” in the sense that most audiences would be generally rooting for the crew to fail, and they’d find the grand reveal of the scientist’s galactic power to be frustrating and unrewarding because it’s more of a plot hole than anything. So close on so many counts and yet so very far, and the opportunity to pull it together eventually is present but a more challenging and uphill battle than getting it right at the outset.

In The End, Did We Even Learn Anything?

Creating a character is easy, in my opinion. Creating a working story with a group of self-driven characters can be a lot harder. This is especially true of roleplaying games or of cooperation with multiple writers, where you need to be on the same general page with a committee. It can help a lot to establish the exact conflicts at the beginning, but as can be seen with Winston from “New Girl” or the later seasons of “My Little Pony”, what you have can morph beyond your control as things go on.

Sometimes you never had control in the first place. Sometimes you lose control because you conclude the original conflict of your story and struggle to find a new one - the brand is too successful to let go. Maybe an executive comes in and injects an idea that throws the entire balance of everything totally out of whack and now nothing works. Sometimes your friend thinks story structure is overrated. It’s a difficult juggling act.

So at the end of this essay did we even learn anything? It depends a lot on what you’re trying to do and what you wanted to learn. If you’re the more typical Dungeons and Dragons group, you don’t need to think much about this. Just make your characters and passively react to activities handed out by Dungeons, Dungeons & Co - your conflict is event-driven. Are you writing a sitcom? Well, balance a tangled web of conflicting character habits and write the ensuing disaster. Want to make a complex film about a group of highly motivated, proactive people with sophisticated individual goals that ultimately converge while still respecting their rich, conflicting, inner politics, and do all that writing as part of a team? Well, good goddamn luck, but with the right start and enough care you can make it happen.

[an-ambivalent]

Pernicious Poison [Yandere! Jennie]

Warnings: This work deals with yandere themes, consists of sort of non-con nsfw?? and other behaviours that can be uncomfortable or triggering to read. Read at your own risk. This work is purely fiction. I do not believe any of the mentioned members would display this sort of this behaviour irl, and I do not condone any of this behaviour irl.

A/N: okay so here’s the deal. This was going to be an one-shot and what you read below was just going to be the start so if it feels incomplete it is. I was going to write more to it but I forgot how I was going to continue to it lol RIP. So this is pretty shitty ngl lol

With meticulous care,

You fed me the poison.

Intoxicated my mind and soul,

until you made me yours.

[Name] often wondered what was wrong with her; what was it about her that led others to cheat her, to take advantage of her. They tore her honest heart one piece at a time, and every person she thought could be the one, was nothing except for another trash in the sea who took everything she had to offer, never returned even a fraction of it, before dumping her to be on their merry way. It was not even one or two who may have cheated on her, it was every single one she was introduced to. With one after another sleeping behind her back with someone else, and her being the sole common variable in all of the situations, it did make her question herself. It felt as if something was at fault with her, that if all of them cheated on her, she lacked something, she was not enough -- she would never be enough. If this happened so many times, then for whatever reason she could not think of, this was what she deserved, this was as good as it was going to get. 

Tonight, it was a hot night. The thick humidity in the air made one’s clothes stick to them uncomfortably due to the excessive sweating even if they were only sitting idly. Due to the hot weather, and the hot conditions from the sexual activities [Name] had been engaged in, there was a desperate need to release; there had been sweat which had uncomfortably gathered in between her legs and soaking her underwear before they were even close, and other parts of her body. After all the stress she had been harbouring over the last few weeks, she was really looking forward to being able to destress and be completely undone. And although the sex had started off amazing with her current partner, it had resulted in an unsatisfatory climax. There was build up, but no release. As much as it had left [Name] frustrated, she knew by now that she did not get the privilege to complain or voice out her frustration. She was  lucky enough that they spared time for her in the first place. 

“Thanks for quickie [Name],” her partner for the night whispered, before leaving a last heated kiss underneath the ear. As quick as they were to leave once their pleasure was accomplished, they removed themselves from on top of her. Swiftly, they put on whatever articles of their clothing that had been discarded on the floor, as [Name] gingerly sat up, and adjusted the thin straps of her singlet over her shoulders once more to cover her priorly revealed skin. 

One of the phones that was on the bedside table beside the bed, lit up momentarily indicating a new received notification. [Name] did not recognise the phone to be her own so it surely belonged to her partner. She managed to catch a glimpse of what the message was and the implications of it had caused her breath to hitch in her throat. 

It was happening again. The vicious cycle where she let herself be poisoned because that was all that she was ever given, was starting again. 

The message read: when r u coming over for netflix and chill tonight??? ;) 

She tried to keep it casual. 

“Message from a friend?” she asked, and despite her best efforts, the strain from emotions was evident in her voice. 

However, she was not given any response other than a smirk, before they grabbed their phone and walked out, leaving [Name] to her own matters. She sighed before she completely fell back against the bed’s headboard in a half lying and half sitting position. Feeling exhausted and drained for more than words could describe, she closed her eyes and decided to focus on the surroundings around her. Presently, she was one of the many who had decided to seclude themselves to the many bedrooms there were in this house. It was a ‘house’ for who it belonged to, but for an average person’s standard, it could be described as a manor; a manor, whom’s premises [Name] was rather familiar with despite the fact that it did not belong to her. It belonged to her close friend Kim Jennie, who often hosted parties here on an almost daily basis. She was also the one who often introduced the people [Name] ended up dating. In general, with how much time Jennie ended up making [Name] spend it with her, a lot of it was spent here so it was only given she had become accustomed to the gigantic house. 

Speaking of parties, the pop music for the party that resonated loudly throughout the manor, buzzed as incoherent but still familiar insignificant noise at the back of [Name]’s mind. As [Name]’s hand trailed down her body and towards her underwear, in hopes to finish the job her partner should have, her heart began to beat louder and quicker in her ears and against her rib cage in anticipation. Just as her fingers brushed against her folds, and her breathing fastened, with some of her juices coating her fingers, the door to the room was snapped open viciously, and then shut just as quickly. 

Instantly, [Name] withdrew her hand, and with wide eyes, she turned towards to see the intruder. Her cheeks felt flushed in embarrassment when she saw Jennie staring at her with an odd intenseness present in her gaze which she was unable to decipher. 

“Again?” Jennie enquired, and she walked towards [Name]. Jennie shifted the duvet covers as she settled in the bed in the same position as [Name] beside her before she moved the duvet covers on top of them. 

[Name] felt goosebumps stand at the back of her neck as she felt Jennie slowly beginning to caress her arm beside her. Her stomach begin to slowly start twisting itself into knots out of anxiety, and despite how much [Name] did not want to ponder on it, recently, with how Jennie looked at her, and behaved with her, it was beginning to become unsettling. 

“You really have the worst luck with love don’t you [Name],” Jennie started in a low whisper, as she laid her head on her shoulder. “Always being left back, left unsatisfied -- none of them treat you the way you should be treated. It’s unfair, don’t you think? And it always makes you feel like it's your fault. Aren’t you sick of being tossed aside like trash? Being everyone’s last choice?” The more things she whispered, the more the churning in [Name]’s stomach increased. As Jennie intertwined her fingers with [Name]’s, with the very fingers that she had touched herself with and were slightly coated with her own juices, the unsettling discomfort became prominent and sat as the evident devil on her left shoulder. When [Name] tried to pull away from Jennie’s grip on her hand, her efforts remained fruitless because Jennie’s grip was too strong for her. 

“Why are you pulling away from me? I’m the only one who’s always there to mend your broken heart. I’m the one who’s always here to comfort you.” A pause, before Jennie brought up [Name]’s hand to her mouth and started to lick her juices off her fingers slowly, and in between her licks, she spoke. “It’s only right that you reciprocate my actions and feelings isn’t it? Forget about being with everyone else and just focus on us, on me, and the love only I can give you,” Jennie murmured with specks of fixation evident in her voice. Then, without any further notice, she pressed her lips against [Name]’s.

---

I’m really sorry about the poor quality if you actually read this ;^)

[isitreallyok]

Therapy, Medication, And Mental Help

I’m gonna level with y’all here. This post will likely not be quite as articulate as some of the other ones. It’s been a really rough morning, but I wanted to address this issue while it is still fresh in my mind. I have yet to ask for advice or feedback on a single one of my posts, but if anyone has any I’m definitely not opposed to receiving it on this one.

Uh oh. That doesn’t sound great. What’s going on?

I’m going to attempt to keep this as brief as possible, and it likely will still be quite lengthy, but I’m going to have to give a bit of context here as well. My current life situation has been radically altered in the last year. 2020 has thrown so many wrenches in my plans and Covid isn’t even the biggest of them. However, lets take this from the top.

When I was 9 years old my parents divorced. Not a huge deal. It happens to a lot of kids as sad as that is to say. I grew up with my mother, brother, and sister in a single parent household with a skewed picture of who my father was and didn’t want too much to do with him. Fast forward a few years, my dad moves to Idaho and remarries and has a wonderful relationship with my stepmother. I wasn’t able to visit too often, but it wasn’t horrible when I was able to make it out there. As much as I minimize the normalcy of being a child of divorce though it still had a horribly impact on my emotional well being and my mental health as a child. Many other kids throughout school came were content with their home life. They were able to enjoy being children and did not have to worry about the pressures of caring for their siblings started at a young age. I, on the other hand, was not content with where I was at in life and wanted desperately to change it.

My mother was incredibly supportive of us kids as best as she was able. She made sure that we had routine trips to the doctors, that we had what we needed in terms of food and shelter, and even got us therapy and psychiatric help. I was blessed to have that available to me as a child. Many children going through similar situations do not have access to that level of external help for a myriad of different reasons. However even though I had these things I still ran into trouble. As I was growing up my father discredited mental healthcare as a practice so I always had that rattling around in the back of my head. By the time I was 15, I decided to stop taking my bipolar and depression medications because I didn’t feel like they were helping me. This is honestly the biggest mistake I’ve made in my entire life. I continued to see my therapist, until I not longer had insurance at age 18, but I didn’t feel as if I was making any real strides there either because I had also adopted the mindset that nothing was working and therapy and caring for my mental health was a joke.

Wait. Isn’t this a place where you talk explicitly about your mental health and how to manage and cope with various aspects of it?

Why yes. Yes it is. I’ve been handling my manic depressive bipolar disorder unmedicated for the last 13 years. It has been absolute hell most days. A few years ago I hit rock bottom and realized that I needed help. The girl that I had been dating for a few years, was living with, and planned on proposing to cheated on me and I ended up moving back in with my parents because of the situation, I slept on a futon mattress on the floor for months before we ended up moving, and due to this my mental state deteriorated to the point of suicidal ideation with intent.

This is when I realized that I was wrong in my views on medication and therapy. I had been putting myself in a position where I was running people out of my life due to the fact that I was using my friends as free therapy and they drew a line and I had to respect it. There was only one problem with finally accepting that I needed to get help. That problem is that help is expensive. I had been uninsured for mental health since I was 18. I accepted the fact that I needed to get help, but the fact that I could afford it drove me even deeper into despair about my circumstances.

So what did you do? Did you get the help you needed? Clearly you didn’t give into your suicidal tendencies.

Well. Yes and no. I didn’t get the help I needed, but I managed to find a way to distract myself from the troubles of the real world. I poured myself into my job and decided that that was the time to go to college. I do understand the irony or going to college after complaining that therapy was too expensive. Believe me that is not lost on me. The difference is you can’t get student loans for learning how to take care of yourself.

Rather than allowing myself to begin working through the existing trauma in my life, I decided to put myself in a position to where I could start to try to live a “normal” life again. Whatever the hell that means. I had a routine, albeit a poor one, I was socializing, albeit minimally in my classes and typically only for group projects, and I was too distracted by other pressures to reminisce on how much I hated my life. I started taking steps that I felt like a therapist would tell me to and began working towards chasing a dream again. This felt different, but I don’t think I’d venture as far as to say it felt good. It was just a different kind of stress that I was piling on myself. I still felt like I needed help handling the day to day. Learning to cope with my bipolar unmedicated took years and the singular trauma of living with my family again meant that all the coping mechanisms I had worked to develop became even more difficult to manage and I had to once again learn different strategies to handle all the new challenges.

Instead of schooling and attempting normalcy on your own wouldn’t it have been easier to get help?

Easier? No. More beneficial? Absolutely. The hoops that one has to jump through even to get seen by a therapist nowadays is challenging enough and that doesn’t even include financial ramifications for those without health insurance that covers mental health, which most workplace insurance plans don’t. With that in mind, the benefits of getting the help that you need often are not able to outweigh the cost.

Realistically, even if I had been able to afford to get myself the care that I need I likely wouldn’t have. I have always been the type of person to do everything on my own until I have exhausted all of my options. This is not something I recommend. One of the biggest things that I want to learn to do is ask for help when I need it instead of asking after I am already at the end of my rope. Even as I’m typing this I am beyond frustrated and want nothing to do with with the stress I’m under from today and it took me hitting that point to finally open up about talking about it even though it was among the first topics I decided to address when I first started this blog. Asking for help at appropriate times is a topic all on it’s own so we’ll save that conversation for another day.

So I’m starting to see a bit of where you’re coming from, but what happened today?

So this part of the background info I plan to address more in depth in the future and will keep the context of this very brief. Remember how I said that my dad and I had a strained relationship even after he moved? Well that changed once I was about 20. We reconnected and for years spoke nearly every day and he became a close confidant and more of what most people with a healthy relationship with their father have. We disagreed on a lot of things, but we were able to understand each other. A few years ago my stepmother passed away. Even before she passed my dad was diagnosed with early stage dementia. He had been having memory issues and it felt like he was a completely different person. At the start of this year he moved back in with my family and that has been a challenge having my divorced parents living under the same room without the ability to properly communicate with each other.

Fast forward to this morning. I woke up to both my mother and father bickering with each other about something related to Dad’s socks. Rather than handling it like adults they were both fighting like toddlers from what I could hear in my bedroom. This has become an increasingly common occurrence. One gets frustrated with the other, situation escalates, I feel pressured to step in and deescalate the situation, I typically end up frustrated and my mood is shot. Dad feels more comfortable talking and listening to me, Mom backs off because I get what needs to be done done, I wind up once again in the middle of a weird situation between my parents. I tolerate this because of the fact that I am able to assist in my father’s care in a way that is beneficial to his understand of what he needs and it eases the burden on other people that are trying to convey the same message with zero results. However over time this would wear anyone down and that point is where I finally reached this morning.

Rather than being able to calmly handle the situation with a level head I ended up snapping at all partied involved. I snapped at Dad for not wanting to do anything to mitigate the problems he complained of, I snapped at Mom for escalating the situation, I snapped at my sister who was just checking it see if I was okay, I ran the gambit of getting frustrated with people. Instead of handling the situation the way I normally would with patience and dignity, I mismanaged the situation and likely made it worse. 

This is where we get back to the topic at hand. I have finally managed to actually get myself on some half decent health insurance that has wonderful mental health coverage. This kicks in at the start of the year and I will be able to finally get some help with handling the fact that this entire situation has been traumatic and has left some serious scars. I’m excited but this also got me wondering about the part that I need help on.

My bipolar and resistance to most psychotropic medication had to come from somewhere, as it’s a disorder that is tied to genetics, and my mother is not bipolar. This tells me that my father, who exhibits clear symptoms of having bipolar depression, is where I got my proclivity for the development of this condition. That being said, with my father’s resistance towards getting psychiatric care, and being medicated to balance any chemical imbalances, puts me in a weird state for doing what is best for him and his care. Do I force this help on him? Do I accept that he’s not ready for it and sit idly by and continue to watch him deteriorate? With his dementia he’s less likely to be able to receive the care he desperately needs due to his inability to create a coherent thought in regards to what his needs are for the large scale rather than just being fine in that exact moment. So I truly am at a loss. This is the part where I ask for advice. If anyone who has read this far has any experience with dementia and psychiatric care I could really use some advice on how to best have these conversations with my dad. This has been one of the biggest hardships I have faced and I am getting to be at a proper loss for words in how to help the situation which as you can tell by the verbosity of this post is difficult to do.

You’re totally fine in not knowing how to handle this situation. This is a difficult situation to be in regardless of who you are. You’re doing well.

Thank you. All of that stuff is an absolute nightmare to handle and life has been absolute hell, but I hope that that helps you to understand where I’m coming from when I encourage you all to once again remember the three reminders! I know most days, including today, I need to remember them to so lets run through them together before we end things for today. You are so much stronger than you think, you are beautiful inside and out, and jinkies you are worth love, kindness, respect, admiration, and all those things you think you’re not worthy of. Lets turn today around together and kick some butt and take some names.