#(very vaguely implied)
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A lot of the justice league canonically have children who they raised more or less since birth,
(thereās a few time travel/rapid aging/losing them for a few years issues, but ignoring those)
,Itās not entirely out there to think that one of them would bring their kid to the watch tower.
I want there to be a fic where someone brings their kid, and have that kid meet Captain Marvel. Thereās no doubt on this persons mind that Cap will adore the kid, heās great at interacting with children, and their right! Heās great with the baby, answering their questions, picking them up, giving them hugs and high fives, all the cool shit!
Heās this 9 foot tall god speaking to a 3 foot tall toddler and answering all their questions with the seriousness of an actual interview, itās going wonderfully!
When the kid toddles off to go interview another one of the supers, Billy turns with this big grin on his face and asks the parent,
āSo how old did you say they were? 2?ā
And the parents like,
āNo? They turn 5 in a couple months,ā
And Captainās smile just, drops.
His face pales, he looks back at the child who is chatting with one of the more human members and doesnāt even reach their waist. Thatās what a four year old looks like, laughing at everything, chubby cheeks, small curls, and teeny tiny body.
Thatās how big four year olds are.
Thatās how big Billy was.
Thatās what Billy looked like after his parents had died and he was sent to live with his uncle.
That was what Billy looked like right before he became homeless
Oh God-
Thatās the day when he found that he could technically throw up while powered up.
#cw abuse#tw child abuse#<- implied only but itās very obvious#I think itās obvious anyway#uncle ebenezer batson#ebenezer batson#me and my homies all hate that guy#dc#dcu#dc comics#billy batson#shazam#dc captain marvel#captain marvel#vague justice league#justice league#when I say that he could technically throw up I mean that it was 100% not vomit
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it hurts to imagine what he would think of you right now
#dream smp#wadds art#tommy innit#ctommy#dsmp exile arc#ctommy fanart#tommyinnit fanart#dsmp fanart#dsmp#very vague image i guess i just had a vibe for this one#implied suicide
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thinking about a concept in which your parent and step-parent are going through a bit of a rough patch in their relationship, so in order to resolve this tension, keep you and skully (mostly) out of it, and hopefully return with a stronger bond, they decide to live in separate spaces for the time being while the idea of divorce is constantly whispered about. you remain in the city with your parent and your step-parent takes skully back to their hometownāthat little, misty town in the mountains and trees. the one where all the eerie folklore and stories skully adores comes from. the one with such a small population that you often tell your friends at school it's "that weird cult town."
well, (un)luckily for you, your parents want you to have an amicable relationship with your stepbrother. so when the winter holiday comes around, they make plans to ship you off to that weird cult town so you can spend the next two weeks shacked up in the woods with your step-parent and stepbrother. and skully will get to return to your home come summer break! the whole arrangement feels much too complicated, and at this point you just wish your parents would stop trying so hard and divorce already. :/
but there's no getting out of it, so you pack your bags and are shipped off to the place you've not-so-affectionately dubbed Cult Town.
you've actually never been here before. when your parents first met, it was in the city and so you've only ever known the rush that is city life. but everything is considerably slower here in a comfortable sort of way. there's no hurrying after taxis or packing yourself into a crowded train. it doesn't smell like the city either. also, the internet connection is horrible. you spend your first few minutes in this town trying to get proper reception while you wait to be picked up. it's only two weeks, though. you're certain it will go by quickly.
skully isā¦still strange. you were never really close when you lived in the same house. he kept to himself just as you did, but right now heās immensely welcoming. he carries your bags, offers to show you around town, and seems so pleased you've come to visit for the holidays. your step-parent notes he spent an absurd amount of time cleaning up the guest room just for you, but skully just flusters and babbles about how it's only right to treat a dear guest with hospitality. there's even a vase of pretty flowers waiting for you on the bedside table when you enter the tidy room.
you're not very thrilled to be here, but you content yourself with the fact that it's only two weeks. skully has a long list of things he'd like to do with you while you're here. you're not sure what you can possibly do in a town this small other than look at the same trees and meet the same townsfolk over and over, but anything's better than boredom.
you fall asleep in that old, creaky cabin that never seems to settle, and your dreams are filled with macabre imagery. claws scraping at the door in angry, jagged crisscrosses, as if something wishes to get in. frostbitten corpses frozen in permanent poses of agony. a faceless, shapeless monster lurking in shadows. and cold. so much cold. snow. ice. frozen lakes. you even wake cold, shivering even though the blankets are thick and warm. it's too quiet and too dark when you look out your window. no civilization in sight unlike in the city, where there are plenty of people and buildings and traces of humanity.
out here, the people hardly use their phones and it feels so old-fashioned and it's cold.
skully doesn't like it when you talk about divorce. he's still hopeful that your parents will mend their frayed bond and then you can all live under one roof again. :D you can only roll your eyes: "they're basically divorced already. maybe not legally, but definitely physically and emotionally." skully frowns at that, refusing to argue your point further. when you continue onwards down the dirt path, bundled in a woolen coat and wrapped up in a scarf (a gift from skully), you miss the way his expression sours. the way his orange eyes cloud over.
skully tells you they find bodies in the woods all the time. accidents. murders. suicides. "a forest is like an ocean," he says conversationally while the two of you stroll parallel to a dense treeline. "sometimes you happen upon things that just don't belong. things you don't expect to find in the vastness."
that night, you're tossing and turning again. your sleep schedule has been a wreck ever since you came here and you're almost certain this cabin is haunted because you keep feeling sensations that aren't there. like a whisper of breath on your neck or a hand on your cheek. and something's moving around in your room or beneath your bed or just outside the door at night. something from the forest, maybe? a monster? one of the many restless spirits left to wander aimlessly, never to know peace? you bring it up with skully the following morning: "do you ever feel...watched?"
he smiles around a mug of hot chocolate. "of course not. we drive malevolent spirits away every halloween. there's nothing that can bother you here. aah, if only you could have been here during halloween. it's simply wonderful! you must come next year."
somehow you aren't satisfied with this response, but skully's sliding a mug your way and suddenly any thoughts of local haunts disperse from your mind.
supposedly, chamomile tea aids in sleep. hoping to get at least one good night's rest while you're here, you purchase some from the market with skully when you go on a grocery run for your parent. "there's something so beautifully quaint about shopping together!" he notes, perusing a stall of various winter fruits. "it's very intimate. wouldn't you agree?"
"sure, i guess," you reply with a shrug, not quite understanding the point he's trying to make. maybe that's exactly the point: you're never going to understand him and his unusual ideals. "but isn't that why people spend quality time with one another?"
skully beams and plucks a frostbitten flower from a nearby bouquet, tucking the beautiful blossom behind your ear. "we have similar thoughts, you and I."
do we really?
you make yourself a cup of chamomile, bundle up in the warmest sweater you packed, and drink in front of a crackling fire. skully's sat at the kitchen table, scribbling away in a book and humming to himself. you asked him about it before and he told you it was "a catalogue of daily musings. nothing of great importance." you wonder what he writes about in there... probably stuff about how wonderful jack skellington is, a figure revered in this little cult town. you've never heard of him, but he seems interesting from what skully's told you.
miraculously, you drift off in the armchair, and you sleep through the night, enveloped in sweet, sugary warmth. your dreams are pleasant, too. it's the best night's sleep you've ever had.
skully asks if you like it here. his definition of 'like' is very different from yours, but you decide to humor him anyway. "it's a fine town," you say even though just the other day you were trying (and failing) to text your friends about how unsettling this place is. how life here is just so different from the city. you can't explain it, but if you stay here any longer you think they might accuse you of being a witch next with your city slang and fancy technology box (phone). "the atmosphere and the town are both very cute. it's like a little dollhouse when it's all dressed up and festive like this."
"what a flattering description! as expected, you view the world through the eyes of a poet, seeing loveliness in every little thing," he praises, holding his hands over his chest and swooning.
you feel just a little lovelier now that your sleep schedule is fixed, so you're inclined to agree.
usually, the chamomile knocks you out for the entire night. this time, though, you've awoken to a ghost. you crack your eyes open and slowly but surely shake the heavy sleepiness off. something's on top of you, holding you down in bed, their fingers cold and bony like the ones in your nightmares. you shift slightly, and the ghost freezes, still and silent as death. in the shadows, a pair of eyes search for your face.
a mouth at your ear. something stiff prods at your thigh. "shh," the ghost murmurs. "go back to sleep."
somehow you do. you feel warm again, cradled in the fluffiest of dreams. there's an encroaching coldness, though, a frigid draft threatening to creep in. you sleep through it. you'll talk to skully about it tomorrow.
maybe some ghosts aren't banished during halloween.
maybe some ghosts are made of flesh and blood.
#meraki mumbles#tw: stepcest#tw: drugging#(very vaguely implied)#tw: noncon#tw: somnophilia#yandere twst
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First base is mutual threats
A redraw of this thing I made two year ago. Still love the dynamic
Engaging in verbal passive-aggressive conversations with each other is actually very entertaining passtime. This is why their post-Robobot\pre-Star Allies interactions are so fun to me: this is a very shaky ground, riddled with mutual loathing. Susie, who really isn't doing very well after Max dying (technically her fault) and getting the CEO's status to pressure her. Also not actually processing her trauma in AD, but repressing it along with most of her emotions. And MK with his wounded pride, who is frustrated with himself first and foremost. And genuinely not trusting the new CEO of intergalactic corporation, which is kinda valid
I guess I just love the trope of "this evil\annoying person you preserve them as, turns out to be not so evil/annoying"
#This is how true love looks like guys trust me#Funny enough the one who start the conflict is MK usually. Who is very petty\unnerved due to the wounded pride with genuine unease around S#And his way of dealing with his fears is unhealthy at best. Despite MK saying otherwise#Calm collected and stoic knight can be pretty good at passive-aggressive snide comment when he wants to#But please 50% of Susie's job is making very polite vague death threats - she can and she WILL push back the backhanded remark#Tho she is kinda flattered to be THE person infamous Meta Knight is eery of. That means she is a force to be recon with#This brings some wierd sense of safety#Metasusie#It's very much implied#Kirby fanart#Kirby series#Kirby Gijinka#Susie Kirby#Susie Gijinka#Susie Haltmann#Meta Knight#Meta Knight gijinka#YarArt
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I know itās Chonnyās birthday and I couldāve done something about that but I was possessed by this idea earlier and so I had to bring it into existence. it was a necessity
Make a little birdhouse in your Soul or something idk. this or something similar has most definitely been done before but I will persevere
#chonny jash#soul chonny jash#cccc#chonnyās charming chaos compendium#chonnys charming chaos compendium#cccc fanart#cccc soul#cccc mind#mind chonny jash#heās like implied kinda#that was my intention#very vague symbolic ideas going through my brain#swatch-palettes#< art tag bc Iāll be bothered if I donāt have one
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There's only so much pressure glass can take before it breaks
#eepyart#idk where i went with this tbh i wanted to mess with the half-tones and clip layers#the orginal sketch felt positive until i flipped the colors (I sketched it in white)#and yeah angst!! Yay!!#isat siffrin#in stars and time#in stars and time spoilers#isat act 5 spoilers#vague but also not really?#cw sh mention#cw sh implied#very small but just in case
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Hey haha what if the first place Leo got zapped to in the universe was a barren wasteland with low gravity that reminded him of the Prison Dimension? What if he didnāt know if heād accidentally got sent back there somehow and panicked?
Then when he tries portaling again and lands somewhere else heās relieved for all of two seconds before the reality of his situation hits him and he realizes he doesnāt know how to get back home? So essentially the worst thing about the Prison Dimension (his isolation) was happening again? Haha what then?
#rise comic spoilers#tmnt 40th anniversary#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rise leo#rottmnt headcanons#Iām gonna be very annoying about this plot point for a while sorry#honestly whether or not time dilation occurred him ābouncing around the universeā implies physical destinations#so imo he definitely had to survive alone for some time at least even if it turns out not to have been the months it was on earth#Iām also a staunch believer of this happening a year to almost two years post movie#the boys look too young to be older than that and splinter looked the exact same too so#luckily this comic is vague enough about these things that you can come up with your own inbetweens
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quick question, why are some trans people deciding to post the exact same way as TERFs recently?
"trans ""men"" aka TIFs aka theyfabs talking about the transphobia and misogyny they've experienced will inevitably make them realise they're just manipulated and weak-minded feeeeemale girl wombyns and then they'll detransition into TERFs!!" has been said by both TERFs and by a few trans people who seem to have some sort of intense hatred towards trans men, usually a hatred based on hypotheticals and strawmen.
ima be honest, trying to integrate radfeminism and misandry into transgender theory will never work because this is the kind of "theory" that results from it. let's just hope this stuff stays in the depths of tumblr and I won't have to hear something like this irl lmao
#transphobia#trans#transgender#ftm#transmasc#wtf is going on#discourse#transandrophobia#transmisogyny#trans solidarity#gender theory#maybe let's not divide and conquer ourselves while we're at risk of losing our rights worldwide#didn't parts of the US ban drag recently while being very vague about what counts as drag#anti-transmasculinity#Discrimination against transgender men#yeah whatev let's have 4 different words for it bc nobody can agree#transmisandry#I think that's the one that most ppl don't like bc it's implying that misandry is a systemic problem which it isnt under patriarchy#but somehow ppl have problems with the other terms too
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Sakura and her comically oversized axes
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#If you look at the secret reference window you'll see that there are actually a few more drawings#That's for my Sakura finds one (1) mention in a footnote that very very vaguely implies Tobirama did something in a lab#And it sends Sakura spiraling down into a rabbit hole and she comes out the other end a chaotic good ver of Orochimaru au#DanzÅ would be interested in her experiments bc they would be very lucrative but she's such a fucking psycho for knowledge#And experiments that it would literally only end in disaster for him she'd probably try to dissect him#Also despite her obsession with fitting as many seals as she can in her body without maiming herself she's still *Sakura*#And she has like#A conscious#Girlie would stop at nothing to tear that man and his empire to absolute pieces#Then she would dissect him#haruno sakura#Naruto#naruto shippuden#naruto art#naruto fanart#sakura haruno#Moldy-flowers#This is also art I was drawing while thinking of Tobirama haunting Konoha and bc he's a psycho he manages to find a way to get somebody#To see him but as all first attempts go he fucks it up a little and only this little brat can see him#But as she does when Sakura finds something she's interested in she finds absolutely everything she can and following in#Tobiramas footsteps#Including the racism!!#/j!!!!
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Pet Recovery Counter-Conditioning Phrases
"I am my own person. I am allowed to prioritize my own needs and assert my own boundaries."
"I belong to myself and only myself."
"I deserve to be loved by others, touched gently, and treated with compassion."
(Romantic specific) "My body is mine. No one is allowed to do anything to my body against my will."
"I am a human being, and I am entitled to human rights, such as food, water, and sleep. My needs are not a privilege that I have to earn, they are human rights, and I will fulfill them when necessary."
"I can think for myself and take care of myself."
"I am a human being, not a slave. I am under no obligation to obey anyone's command."
"What happened to me was unjust. I did not deserve to be abused by my former master, and I will not tolerate abuse from them or anyone else."
"I am a good person."
"I have a right to be treated with dignity."
"I am not worthless. I have value apart from my master's attention."
(Romantic specific) "I am allowed to say no."
(Guard dog specific) "I am not a monster. In the past, I acted to protect myself, and I will continue to protect myself with or without my master."
"My rescuers are not a threat. My rescuers do not want to hurt me. My rescuers are safe people."
"If I am ever mistreated, I will report it to my rescuers as soon as possible."
"I do not need to lie to protect myself."
"I am allowed to love myself."
"I am encouraged to form relationships with the other recovered pets, and they will not be hurt if I interact with them."
(Bonded pair specific) "I do not need to protect my bond. I do not need to depend on my bond. My bond and I are our own people, and I am allowed to develop my own interests and take care of myself before my bond."
"I am a person, not a pet."
#i saw that one conditioned boxboy phrases lore post and it gave me some ideasies#conditioned whumpee#pet whump#box boy universe#box boy whump#recovery whump#implied past noncon#very very vaguely#i mean some of the deconditioning phrases are romantic specific and there are Things that happen to romantics in the lore so#implied past torture#implied past abuse
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world's worst polycule
#inanimate insanity#o2 art tag#ii suitcase#ii balloon#ii nickel#ii baseball#suitloon nickloon and bickel very vaguely implied#t4t4t4t btw#nickel gijinka is inspired by norazingrid
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There's two types of people who use transandrophobia to decribe transmascs' and trans mens' experiences:
- Simply specificity, language used to hone in on a specific way being trans affects people who just happen to be men
- As both the above and as a springboard to discuss how societal misogyny, radical feminism, gender stereotypes, and bioessentalism affect all people who can be pecieved as men or masculine by others, and how bigotries compound in meaningful ways with stereotypes and bigotry surrounding maleness and manhood
Like. Half of you are saying "maleness is a hollow experience which is standard, and exists in opposition to gendered oppression, and transandrophobia is therefore when dudes experience misogyny and transphobia"
and half of you are saying "Being percieved and/or transitioning towards male uniquely affects how I am treated, because, for example, how people perceive my blackness or mental illness or kinkiness or femininity is compounded with my manhood in ways that don't usually happen to gender conforming cisperi women"
Which are two fundamentally different approaches to transandrophobia as a concept. One suggests that maleness is a simple downy layer of privilege that coats a person through their male life, and the other acknowledges that a man (or somebody perceived as masculine/male) can experience oppression in ways that those NOT perceived male may not.
Only one of these interpretations is intersectional. Black individuals who are policed more hashly when interpreted as masc know they are risking dangerous experiences when transitioning to male, as has been discussed before on here (to no avail). Male or percieved male people with personality disorders are treated as more dangerous than women with similar symptoms, and are sometiems diagnosed with different disorders entirely based on percieved gender differences. This affects transmascs too, especially considering the already dire state of queerness in psychiatric institutions. Being a male birthing parent is a whole shitshow of transphobia because men are not supposed to give birth, and transmascs are lucky to access related healthcare at all, let alone access it without being ceaselessly misgendered and treated as a stigmatised 'other' to deleterious affects on parent and baby. These are just a few examples, there are many more ways maleness can screw a person over. And that's not to say that female privilege is a thing instead of male privilege, but rather to emphasise that men are not supposed to be minorities. Men are not supposed to be assaulted, men are not supposed to be outliers, men are absolutely not supposed to be trans.
When a man is autistic, he's not just autistic, he's an autistic male, and that makes him more likely to be killed by cops (especially if black). When someone says "you claim you're not ableist but you're scared of the homeless x on a bus talking to xself", they always say the person is a man, because that sounds more significant (and cops think so too). Consider when a person's rape/abuse is considered to not be all that serious due to the victim being male, or when a man's attraction is considered to be more exploitative than a woman's, or when a fat man is considered more creepy/sexist than a thin man or a fat woman. Consider why so many caricatures of evil and creepiness are men with deformities. Consider the fact that men's bathrooms don't have baby changing tables, and that a man may get less support from others after their child's death than the mother might. Maleness can negatively compound with things like minority status, vulnerability, aggression, sexuality, etc. in ways that screw that person over, both in social spaces (such as queer communities that dislike/distrust maleness and masculinity, or how isolation affects men harder), and in more tangible ways, like their rates of suicide and being murdered.
There are tangible ways in which transitioning to male can negatively affect a person's life even if you remove (hypothetically, not really possible) the transphobia element, and these also constitute as worthwhile topics of discussion. If you think maleness is the lack of gendered oppression, then you're not intersectional in your feminism at all. If your life as a male is genuinely sunshine and rainbows (apart from the transphobia if trans), then good for you, genuinely that's great, but not everyone lives in a radfem fantasy world.
Being unable to tell the difference between men talking about mens issues/liberation, and right wingers talking about oppressing women more, isn't feminist. It's ignorant and antifeminist. (MRAs don't care about actual mens lib, and are actively worsening it because they are sexist and opposed to gender lib. You guys know that, right? That male and female liberation aren't oppositional or binary, but the same gender liberation that is entirely oppositional to patriarchy?)
These men and mascs talking about issues facing men aren't ignorant womanhaters who deny misogyny and want ultraprivileged men to be coddled, they are good faith members of your community with experiences just as varied and valid as yours. Treat them like it.
#āmen can't handle having privilegeā mfs when they realise they experience less lethal violence in a police confrontation#when their cancer treatments aren't inaccessible. when they don't have to fight for custody of the kid they gave birth to#āsexism doesnt affect men. i am very smart and well read. minorities trust and like meā#the people who think the existance of misogyny means men don't experience sexism are gonna have a real one reading this lmao#you may now make shit up about me not believing in female oppression or something#go ahead. put a bunch of words in my mouth. i won't reply#transandrophobia#transphobia#intersectionality#mens liberation#you'd think people would be more open to the idea that being percieved male can screw someone over huh#but no. back to essentialism and talking about aspects of living human beings like they're pokemon strength/weakness charts#āif men have issues then that implies women aren't oppressedā <- weirdly common opinion. also oppositional sexism and black n white fallacy#like. this is 101 feminism stuff. this isn't a bold new rare take on maleness. it's just thats sexism is popular on tumblr#this has been a known take for generations of feminism you just flatten men into a vaguely oppressive force#trans rights#intersectional feminism#mens issues#plus testosterone is so controlled that DIY is almost impossible and will get transmascs thrown in jail#my custom trans tshirts should come today#i'm mocking the hypothetical sexists in the hypothetical replies but genuinely i think mens lib is having a big hayday on tumblr now. yay#i love us all#stay safe#i hope this is coherent. it's not exhaustive and it's super long lol
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if i see one more post about how solas/mythal/elgar'nan had a weird love triangle thing going on i'm gonna scream
#probably gonna annoy some people by saying this#but i think it is really telling that taash's response 'they were doin' it'#is positioned in a way that strongly implies it's the immature response to take#not to say i'm 100% right bc they left it deliberately vague for a reason#you're meant to make up your own mind#and i personally do not see this as a stupid love triangle bc a. i fucking hate love triangle plots they're overdone and boring#and b. it's stated multiple times that the ancient elves felt things in different ways that can't be fully understood by mortals#so deducing that it was a romantic bond is an oversimplification of something that's actually very abstract#falon'din and dirthamen were called both twins and lovers by legends but it turned out to be neither of those things#they were just one spirit split into two#the only two that i think were actually romantically involved were ghil and andruil bc it's stated that they fell in love in the abyss#and there are statues of them naked holding hands apparently#we didn't get enough info about sylaise and june to really say much about their relationship#the actual regret memory of solas and mythal meeting in secret#is the memory that the inquisitor gives to rook#and it appeared after the ritual was interrupted and solas killed varric#when varric told him to stop#when varric expressed his love for his friend and died for it#the parallel is not of lovers but of solas taking mythal's place and varric taking his#ugh i'm just so uncomfortable with the solas/mythal romance stuff#like it actually nauseates me#not out of jealousy but bc his whole story is him dealing with the horrific trauma bond he formed with her#and those are so often borne from family bonds#like mythal is just one big mother wound to solas#i honestly think if they were lovers they would just state it as such#but people have a hard time imagining devotion as being anything other than romantic ig#sad bc platonic relationships can sometimes be more intense than romantic ones
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Giggles hi my beautiful royal with identity issues
[Image ID in alt text]
#I know some people took this as hank being stupid. which they are to some degree but . I think weāre kinda glossing over the bigger picture#his identity is already so vague that the maker (THE MAKER) had to go āthereās nothing here.'#imagine having to live decades of your life just not knowing your name. or even deciding on a name for yourself#like naming yourself is a very common thing in Nevada. the fact hank never gave himself one and just accepted the first one he saw is#interesting#I feel like this could have some vague interpretation about their autonomy and just how aware they are of it and just how much they care#about themself or the world around them#idk ! this excerpt has been keeping me up for a week#madness combat#madcom#hank j wimbleton#does anyone hear me. anyone#also I may be projecting just a teensy tiny bit just a little ittty bittie bit just. a littke#does no one get them like I do - or do I simply project too much of myself onto very subtle - barely implied- details? both? who knows!
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Fandom also loves to take any hint that a character's mom wasn't 100% perfect and spin it off into "clearly she was EVIL and ABUSIVE" with absolutely zero evidence. like. calm down.
#every mother even vaguely implied to exist in mp100#also original timeline lorraine#like in some cases there are real flaws or complexities it would be interesting to explore#but we don't get to because fandom swings SO hard into black-and-white morality#and in some cases it's like. no. shou's mom leaving her shitty husband was good actually.#reigen's mom encouraging her son to get a real job and stop running a scam business is very normal and reasonable#you guys just hate women
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āYes.āĀ |Ā āKneel.āĀ |Ā Best of ThreeĀ |Ā CorrespondenceĀ |Ā AppraisalĀ |Ā CollapseĀ |Ā CupcakeĀ |Ā FoggyĀ |Ā CrackingĀ |Ā Just BreatheĀ |Ā UrgeĀ |Ā TrimĀ |Ā StupidĀ |Ā Upkeep | Old Defeat | Watching | Simple Loyalty | Overreaction | Set Up for Failure | Burning | Healed Wrong | Haunted | Boxes Buried | Heavy Blow | Loneliness
Cupcake hasnāt been sleeping well lately. With anyone else, Simon would assume it was the whole being a prisoner thing. But this one is tough. He doesnāt seem to think he deserves better, even if his pride gets in the way sometimes. There are no longing glances toward the windows, no getting lost in daydreams. Cupcake just wants a beer, some TV, a place to sprawl and relax.
Last night Cupcake dozed off on the couch for a few minutes. Simon watched as bushy brows twisted, as the scarred chest hitched under the wifebeater, as rugged fingers twitched at his sides. He woke too soon and reached instantly for his bullet-riddled right leg.
The pain is keeping him up. Simon almost feels bad about that, although theyāve gotten to have less sessions, this week, with the little thrills heās getting seeing that pain all day long.
Heās asleep now, though. Cupcake is on his back, on the floor instead of his bed - which is strange, although he probably gave up on the blankets and tried the carpet, instead, in his pained tossing and turning. Leaning in the doorway, Simon feels his attention slide off the man that heās watching, straying to thoughts of groans and muffled screams. Maybe if Cupcake eats well enough at breakfast, he can suggest they have a session. Could be fun. The itch is there under his skin.
Into the room he pads softly. His pajama pants brush softly against his ankles, long hair warm and comforting across his shoulders. Itās a peaceful night with the cool air after last nightās rain and the crickets chirping outside. As Simon draws near, he can make out the very faint freckles across Cupcakeās cheeks. His short brown curls that make him look so much younger than the previous bleached mess. Twenty-seven, his file says. But Cupcake cannot read, can barely add numbers in his head, struggles to come up with words that are more than two syllables long.
Violent, antisocial, sadistic, restless, said the file. Cupcakeās never shown his violent side, here. Head tipping to the side to ponder as he watches the man sleep, Simon wonders if Cupcake is really violent by nature, or if he lashes out when provoked, like a malnourished dog in the back corner of a shelter. Antisocial makes sense, with Cupcake barely bothering to talk about the outside world and taking so long to try to get out. Must not have family. Sadistic - Simon canāt speak to that. Thereās rage in his eyes, sometimes, but thatās normal for his position. There is no one here for him to hurt but himself.
Restless is the most fitting of all his descriptors. Simon finds himself reaching out, despite wanting Cupcake to stay asleep. There are dark smears of exhaustion under those closed eyes. Heās been healing slowly, he needs this. But traitorous fingers creep forward through the air until they find a stray lock of that soft brown hair. Why does Cupcake hate it so much? Enough to fry it into straw, and change its color, and grow it out in a frizzy mane. It feels reminiscent of how Cupcake ignores mirrors like they arenāt reflective at all, theyāre just a normal stretch of dull wall.
His rumination wandered, and his fingers laid too heavily against Cupcakeās scalp. The soft bed of hair disappears suddenly, and the body that was so still and relaxed a second ago is moving sharply. Simon barely has time to widen his eyes before Cupcake jolts and slams bodily into him, sending them both tumbling across the floor.
A flurry of brown hair, round eyes, fists. Animalistic grunts punch their way out of Cupcake as he tries to beat Simon away from him. He can punch, Simon finds, winded into silence by the second blow and then struggling to escape a single hit. Itās like a brick is being driven into his ribs, his head, his upper arms.
Above him, straddling him chaotically, Cupcake bares his teeth and looks like a child trying to beat back a demon. Simon finds himself trying to contain the violent swinging arms rather than truly fight back. The panicked growls and grunts get louder as Simon manages to roll over and get Major onto his back, locking him in a bear hug.
āNngh, nnh, nnh,ā Cupcake grunts, breaths hissing out through locked teeth. He is shaking, vibrating under Simon, who is focused on setting his knees against the floor and tightening his arms to effectively snuff out the fight. āNo, no, nnhā¦ā
As close as they are, Simon can hear the tears clogging up Cupcakeās throat and suffocating the pleas out of the air. As soon as his hold is secure enough, Simon lifts his head.
Mistake. A collision with his head, pain blooming hot in his nose. Violent, antisocial, sadistic, restless. One of Simonās arms unwind from around Cupcakeās back and twist fingers in his hair to pull his head up and slam it back down.
It didnāt feel forceful enough to knock him out, but Cupcake goes still with a shudder. Simon pulls back farther to urgently look into his face, hand sliding down from the short curls to tug on Cupcakeās face and check his eyes. But Cupcake is still awake. He tries to squeeze his eyes shut, and turn his head away, and only croaks out a soft sound of defeat when his head is yanked back and his eyelids pulled open, one at a time.
Simonās not even sure if a concussion would appear as oddly sized pupils so soon, but they look fine for now. So he pulls back, planting firm palms on Cupcakeās shoulders to help him remember to stay down.
It seems to be dawning on the pinned man that he just fought back. That he beat Simon into the ground, if only for a minute. As soon as he can, he closes his eyes again, breathing hard through flared nostrils.
āWhat was that?ā Asks Simon, voice soft. The blood dripping from his nose and onto Majorās bare chest doesnāt register to either of them as a pressing issue. āWhat was that, Cupcake?ā
Cupcake is afraid. Heās always quieter, when he is. His angry is loud and energetic, his excited is stunned and hesitant. His afraid is very still, breathing hard, trying to process things and largely failing to. The rusted cogs in his head only turn so fast. Cupcake doesnāt know what to do now that he lashed out, doesnāt know what comes next.
āI wonāt punish you,ā Offers Simon, leaning down harder to show that he can keep the man pinned. āIf you talk.ā
Cupcake sniffs, and grimaces at how snotty the sound is. He never looks more silently furious than when he sounds pathetic. āTalk?ā
Simon runs a thumb back and forth near Cupcakeās collarbone. He either doesnāt notice it, or doesnāt want to be caught showing he hates it. The silence that comes in the stead of an explanation from Simon doesnāt help.
āābout theā¦ā Cupcake clears his throat. Opens his eyes, which instantly skitter away from Simonās kind, curious face. ā...Freak out, when I wake up, andā¦ and thereās someone on me. Okay?ā He lashed out. He could be killed for this. He knows it, itās got his chest still lurching with shallow gasps. āām sorry. Didnāt know it was you.ā
With a sympathetic nod, Simon adjusts his weight to be more on Cupcakeās hips and less on his stomach, to make breathing easier for him. āWho did you think I was?ā
Silence. The pain of his shot let has him twitching, trying to change his position without it looking like heās trying to throw Simon off. No answer.
āWeāve been doing this for a while, Cupcake.ā Simon lifts a hand from a pinned shoulder to take hold of his jaw and force eye contact. Cupcake looks angry, but maybe not at the man above him. Or not just at him. āI let you get away with things. Have things your way. Itās better for both of us, to not be too strict.ā
The reminder of his place is working, already, without the threat being spoken. Simon can see it in how Cupcakeās breaths miss a beat, how he holds still and waits for the promise of things getting worse.
āWould it be easier for you if I held the gun to your head?ā
ā...Donāt.ā It is quiet, almost a whisper. āMake me. Too fhh-... dumb as, too - stupid. To make something up. I justā¦ donāt make me talk.ā
There is something in the vulnerability, there. Something more than pain in his voice. Simon is curious, so curious. But should he really devote energy to punishing the guy having a nightmare, or a trauma response, or whatever that was? Should he tear Cupcake open and expose his fears to the air, just because he wants to know? Maybe Cupcake has earned some grace.
āOkay.ā Hand sliding off of Cupcakeās jaw, he draws back and stands. Cupcake slowly, achingly drags himself toward the bed. Climbs up onto it, eyes on the floor the whole way. He needs space, needs to be left alone. āSure thing, Cupcake. Try to sleep.ā
Cupcake is silent until Simon is all the way out the door. In the dark of the room, he mutters, just barely audible, ā...Thanks.ā
taglist:Ā @morning-star-whumpĀ ,Ā @lthrboy,Ā @apokolyps,Ā @paperprinxeĀ ,Ā @vampiresprite,Ā @wollemi-whump,
@watermelons-dont-grow-on-treesĀ ,Ā @whumps-and-bumpsĀ ,Ā @defire, @notactuallyluska
#whump#drabble#mine#major#simon#nightmares#past trauma#captivity#dehumanization#referenced or implied noncon#very very vaguely implied but the theme is there#the cycle
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