#(though 'use' is a bit of stretch in the latter case - as shown)

[freepassbound]

Just out of curiosity...

Does anyone else see the problem here?

[ohnoitstbskyen]

Seeing your ask on Plural and I’m wondering if you would like a plural character in League maybe with a shapeshifter gimmick to represent the two personalities/spirits.

Either a case of D.I.D or of spirit possession or symbiosis with another sapient creature.

Because it is a very Christian/Western concept to think all spirits possession as a negative one takes all fight between two entire with many cultures having shamans who let spirits use their body for healing rituals. I think that blends into D.I.D too. Despite them being really different.

This even goes into Scrizophrina which is a totally different condition. With people from more rural areas reporting more positive hallucinations then from the industrialized developed world.

It’s worth noting that in Japanese a animist based culture there are much more positive portrayals of spirt possession and split personalities like in Yugioh.

Hrm, I can't really speak to your latter comments there, I don't know enough about either animism or schizophrenia (which is not the same thing as DID) to comment. Nor on the thing about shamanic cultures, although it feels a bit like you're generalizing there.

But as for League, depending on how you want to read them, there already are plural characters in League of Legends - Varus is three distinct personalities in one body, and Kalista is... somewhat inconsistently written, but in concept she is a system of all the spirits and consciousnesses of everyone who has invoked her to seek revenge.

If you want to stretch it, you might even argue that the Kindred are a plural character. They have separate bodies, but they are one person expressed in two personalities, and their origin story specifically relates them as one entity who split into two personalities because they were quite simply happier and more complete that way.

Of course, in the case of both Varus and Kalista, those characters are written from the perspective that their plurality is some kind of distorting affliction. Varus is a corrupted monster trying to possess the body of Kai, while the consciousnesses of Kai and his lover Valmar try to resist. It sorta shakes out to a shoulder angel/shoulder devil scenario where Varus pulls on Kai's anger and thirst for revenge, while Valmar tries to remind him of his humanity.

Legends of Runeterra tried to move the character in a different direction, conceptualizing them much more like a harmonious plural system that is in agreement with themselves, rather than a "tormented struggle over the true nature of the soul" sort of thing, but it's still kinda in the concept of the character that Varus' plurality is a corruptive body horror.

With Kalista, the storm of consciousnesses inhabiting the shared body has been shown to be a sort of chaotic, destructive thing that is eating away at her "original" personality and replacing it with a single-minded revenge spirit, and that's basically written as a tragic, bad thing that represents the loss of her true soul to the corruption of vengeance, anger and hatred.

The Kindred, if you want to interpret them as plural, are much more balanced and harmonious, two expressions of the same being, bonded by deep mutual love and affection.

None of them, of course, are intended to be plural representation - at least not as far as I know. And honestly, yeah, I think it would be extremely cool to have a character that is intentionally and conceptually designed to express something real about the plural experience.

I'm... not a hundred percent sure if I'd trust Riot to be able to do a good job of that, though. There's a lot of Too Many Cooks bullshit that happens at Riot, which undermines most good-faith efforts from its creatives to do interesting things. Some higher up business-suited jackass might just be like "other stakeholders think it's cooler if they're a gross evil monster who is evil because they're plural because being plural is bad and weird and makes you dangerous to people around you" and then whoops here comes a James McAvoy in Split ripoff champion :/

[archivyrep]

The go-to archivist depiction

Example of someone who cross describes as a go-to depiction of an archivist; this is Archie in Regular Show

Samantha Cross, an archivist who reviews examples of archives in popular culture, has argued that the "go-to depiction of an archivist" is often middle-aged, White, male, and likely cisgender. She also described Zootopia as feeding into "the stereotype of records and archives being distant," and the almost useless archivist in Voltron: Legendary Defender. One of the best examples of what she describes as the "go-to depiction" of an archivist is Archie in Regular Show, but there are others as well, which align and buck this depiction.

Reprinted from my Wading Through the Cultural Stacks WordPress blog. Originally published on May 13, 2022.

If he can be considered an archivist, there is the Librarian in an episode of She-Ra: Princess of Power. He oversees the Library in the Valley of the Lost, and is said to be a hermit. He is an elderly man with White hair and is White. He also manages what is known as the Inner Library, which has books "in a language not used in a thousand years." It is, arguably, a bit archivy. He is not the only White archivist I've written about on this blog. One of the oft-mentioned on here is Jocasta Nu, an elderly White woman, who runs the Jedi Archives. Another example I sometimes forget is the White female archivist who is manipulated by Anna to change a birth record in My Dictator Boyfriend. [1]

Some fan fics seem to feed into the idea that archivists are White people. These fics show archivists as stereotypical with grey hair, for instance. Others showcase archivists of color, including those which I've written myself, even making Bow's dads archivists, even though they are historians in the original series, She-Ra and the Princesses of Power. This is a bit of an oddity, however. As, others example of a White archivist are the records clerks shown briefly in an episode of 180 Angel, Abigail Chase in the National Treasure franchise, and a reference librarian in Can You Ever Forgive Me?. Additionally, it could also be argued that Theoda and Pothina in Cleopatra in Space are archivists, or at least information professionals of some kind as they work in a museum of the show's protagonist.

Apart from Hermes Conrad, a bureaucrat who you could argue is an archivist I suppose, there's the Japanese man, Ura, in Pale Cocoon, a green Gem named Peridot in Steven Universe. The latter two could be either be said to be archivists, each in their own way, or engaging in some archivist tasks. In any case, Peridot's voice actor is Shelby Rabara, a Filipino-American actress and dancer. More directly than any of these examples is the Black male record clerk, Clark, in Joker (played by Brian Tyree Henry), who tries to help Arthur Fleck get his hands on records of his mother. However, he is determined to stick to the rules, leading Fleck to literally steal the records from him to avoid the red tape.

There are two characters other than Hermes, Ura, Peridot, or the unnamed record clerk which can undoubtedly be described as archivists: Arizal in Recorded by Arizal and Grandpa Park in Stretch Armstrong. Neither seems to have professional training (Arizal may be on the path to such training), but both engage in actions which make them archivists in one way or another. There's a solo archivist in Ultraman Taiga, a presidential archivist named Briony in Leif & Thorn, and a 26-year-old archivist named Cortez Velasquez in Heirs of the Veil, the blue-skinned sisters (and archivists) in Lore Olympus, and Rae, an aspiring archivist in Always Human.

There are many other examples and characters who engage in archivist duties like arrangement, description, preservation, appraisal, reference, collaboration, outreach, administrative tasks, and selection, so in that sense, this is only scratching the surface. That is in part because the number of posts on this blog are minimal, not even reaching 100 posts at present, so I don't have many other examples to use for this post. But, if I decide to pursue this in the future, I may come back to this post and build on it again.

© 2022 Burkely Hermann. All rights reserved.

[keijifairy]

meeting your younger sibling 〃

♡ midoriya izuku, bakugou katsuki, todoroki shouto

genre. fluff!!!

author's note. i recently watched heroes rising and im still so 🥺 the big three as big brothers (and mayhaps dad! katsuki hngngngnggggg) makes me hella emotional so i made this <3

༘ midoriya izuku

you had to stay home and miss classes to look over your younger brother for the day

you informed your boyfriend izuku in advance, and he even wrote you notes on everything you missed :(

after a tiring school day had ended, he packed his things + a cute extra notebook for your notes and doodles that never failed to put a smile on your face

he quickly changes from his school uniform, planning to head over to your house to check up on you, not forgetting to ask you beforehand

he comes over and is immediately greeted with an embrace from you as soon as you open the door

his poor heart is still not used to the abundance of affection you shower him with, and he always makes sure to return it back (though with more stuttering and heat in his cheeks)

"go ahead, i'll get us some food." you tell him, as he enters your home, already disappearing into the kitchen

it's the first time he's meeting your little brother, and he spots him quietly laying on his stomach at the living room, and coloring on an all might coloring book

he goes 🥺🥺🥺

your brother looks up, a yellow crayon in his hand as he makes eye contact with a gushing izuku

the latter introduces himself, his eyes twinkling and a soft smile stretched in his lips. "hello!! i'm izuku~!"

your brother only tilts his head and blinks without a word, and casually averts his attention back to his coloring book

he takes the book in his hands, standing up and quietly walks in front of your boyfriend who is crouched to match his height

the child holds up the coloring book, a page of an unfinished colored portrait of all might shown, beside izuku's head

izuku only giggled, confused but isn't too bothered, as he's too focused on the cuteness of your brother. 

he's obviously already attached !!

"you…" the five year old trails off, with wonder glinting in his eyes as he averts his gaze back and forth between the drawing of all might and the boy in front of him. "look like a good hero."

izuku swears his heart started melting

your brother has always looked up to heroes, like izuku was (and still is) ever since he was a little child. your brother's always so excited to hear you talk about being a hero in training, and of course, he's aware about the stories of deku. you always talked about him like the greatest hero in the world with sparkles in your eyes

to hear a little kid casually complimenting him like that had izuku's heart go all 💞

before he could even utter a response, your brother takes his hand, making izuku stand up, letting himself get gently dragged to the spot the child was on

your brother lays back on his stomach, snatching a blue crayon from the ground and pointing it to your boyfriend

"want to color with me?"

you coo silently to yourself, hiding in the kitchen as you press the camera button to capture the nth photo that is set to be your lock screen

༘ bakugou katsuki

'how do u make a baby sleep'

'??? tf should i know'

katsuki may not be the best quiet person to be around a baby, but you're desperate and tired and your baby sister just isn't at all !!

so ten minutes before your boyfriend's bed time and way past your sister's, you had managed to bug him enough to come over your house and help you put her to sleep

your hair is a mess, baby food is splattered on your shirt, and your eyebags are deepening (school works have been piling up), and the first thing katsuki tells you as he steps into your house is, "you look like shit."

you only roll your eyes, a yawn escaping your lips. "thanks, i'm flattered."

your sister is wailing like the baby she is, as she wildy waves around the empty milk bottle in her hand. toys are littered on the floor and baby powder is spilled on the kitchen counter at some point. it looks like a hurricane had passed by your house !

"what were you feeding her?" 

"baby food and two bottles of milk." you sigh, taking the bottle from her hand to wash it

you look over at him, a tired smile straining your lips. "sorry i asked you to come over so late, katsuki." 

"here," his eyes darted everywhere to the walls to avoid your curious eyes, as he gently shoves a plastic of food into your hands. "you can't sleep on an empty stomach."

is he....blushing...?

you take the plastic, the sleep in your face disappearing, your smile widening as you shuffle through its contents. "...and diapers?"

he scoffs, and you're absolutely correct; his cheeks are flushed! "just in case you ran out or something..."

"awww, thank youuu." you giggle, and katsuki clicks his tongue , mumbling a whatever like the tsundere but big softie inside he is

you ask him if he wants to hold your baby sister, and with a sigh, he does

he doesn't want to tell you that he can't bear to see you tiring yourself. as soon as he saw you so worn out and not getting enough sleep like you promised him, he felt his heart clenching painfully. so whatever it is, he'll always do anything for you (even if he acts so annoyed and reluctant most of the time)

there's that constant furrow of his brows and scowl in his lips, but when her cries suddenly cease and her tiny hand holds up to cover his whole thumb as she looks at him with her pretty doe eyes, you see how his own soften and how he seems to freeze for a split second

from the shape of your brows, and to the curve of your cupid's bow, your adorable baby sister truly resembles you

and katsuki found himself silently admiring her, as he sneakily catches a glimpse of you in the corner of his eye, in utter disbelief and amazement on how her eyes slowly flutters shut in the arms of the normally loud boy

you stand there at the corner, breathing out a soft laugh 

he's going to be a great dad, you just know it

this is what i like to call jay is whipped for kacchan <3

༘ todoroki shouto

shouto had asked you out on a date today, but unfortunately, your parents had left the house and asked you to look over your eight year old sister

'i'm so sorry i bailed on you, shouto :( do you wanna hang out at my house instead tho haha 👉��'

baby boy was really understanding, and quickly agreed to move your little date at home instead

'it's fine. at least i still get to see you.'

while waiting for shouto to come over, you just couldn't help but brag about the best boyfriend ever to your little sister

you showed her your whole album of photos of shouto: confused selfies with a blush on his cheeks, stolen shots of him literally doing anything, and photographs you had taken of him during dates. what a model

"i don't think he's your boyfriend." your sister deadpans, eyebrow raising suspiciously at you

you snickered, basically shoving your phone at her face; a photo taken by ashido of shouto silently fixing the strands of hair framing your face as he stood in front of you, while you only sat there, staring at him with hearts in your eyes aka your lock screen 🥰

she only shrugs, pushing the phone away. "maybe it's edited."

"WHY YOU LITT—"

ding dong

did i fail to mention that even though your sister seemed utterly fazed by the perfection called your boyfriend, she was already dressed in her elsa costume from halloween and even had the audacity to use your makeup? you only narrowed your eyes at her as she smugly presented herself to you

she's unusually quiet now though, trailing after you as you open the door and greet the man himself

"my love, my darling, my angel~" you beam innocently at a dumbfounded shouto at your doorstep. he surely wasn't expecting such an affectionate greeting, with the hue of pink painting his cheeks making him so obvious

"hello….my love…darling….angel…" he looked so adorably confused, eyes blinking owlishly and the corners of his lips tugging up slightly

"come in~"

as he enters, he quickly notices your little sister clinging on your legs, innocently gazing up at him with her mouth agape

"hello…" 

"are you really my sister's boyfriend?" she blurts out, shamelessly pointing at you with a bewildered look on her face

he's unbothered though, nodding swiftly and meeting your eyes. "yes."

"why?" oh, she is so going to get it !!!

shouto blinks, averting his gaze fully to you with confusion swirling in his eyes

"because i like her."

"but why?" "stop—"

"because…" his cheeks had gone a full shade of red, but his face remained still, not removing his gaze at you. "she's beautiful and kind."

your heart is beating a bit too loud for your liking hahaha

your sister cranes her neck to look up at you, squinting her eyes in disbelief and you gasp, obviously offended. "you believe me now?"

"only because he's—" she lowers her voice, cutely puffing out her cheeks—"cute."

"you are so—"

"let it go, sis."

long story short, let's just say your competition for shouto todoroki just got added by one (1) evil elsa wannabe sister.

[and-there-were-words]

A Spider Life: Slow days (Chapter 05)

I first wanted to write something out of the Spider Queen’s POV, but struggled to keep it within the narrative I am going for at the moment. I will write something for her after what’s show-canon though. A slow one with some more HCs, but I hope you still enjoy this chapter!

Also “Ask questions” had been enabled, I did not notice they weren’t before /o/

---

Taking place some time before “Minor scale”.

After the last two, rather smooth successes of gathering the artifacts, things had turned… slow. With everyone doing their best to busy themselves, Syntax makes some (for him at least) interesting observations. (Wordcount: around 2150)

---

With the mirror in their possession, the little lady had grown silent while working on the furnace. Aside from that whisper business of course, that had been a constant the last few days. And while nobody wanted to admit it out loud, it put everyone on the edge. Even the Queen.

However, nothing would stop Syntax from working on his spiderbots, even trying to improve the additional arms on his back. Not the easiest thing to do when you don’t have eyes on the back of your head, but making sure they just won’t snap in the heat of a moment felt rather crucial. The additional weight to this upgrade wasn’t exactly a worry to him at all, in the end he wasn’t one of the brawler types.

Something in the air changed, making him halt for a second.

“Yes Huntsman, how can I help you?”, he spoke without needing to look up. The other spider made a frustrated noise at being detected, he had been just mere inches away to give the scientist a poke. With an annoyed huff he turned around to stomp back to Goliath. Syntax would be lying to say if the other's frustration didn't plug on a string of satisfaction. This sort of interactions had been going on for a while now.

Leaning back, just to give his spine a proper stretch, the scientist couldn’t help but feel a little bit proud of himself. Just the progress he had made the last few days was satisfying, and not only the ones on his machines – but himself too. Huntsman had taken a sadistic joy in startling him whenever he could, and he was infuriatingly good at it. Though, Syntax started to pick up on the faint noises the hunter made when stepping on stone, the shuffling of clothes. Eventually he could catch him prior to a scare.

Which only goaded Huntsman to try even harder, becoming more and more silent and careful in his steps. Syntax had taken recordings to measure the changes of skill level (and for his own sanity) – by now, the hunting spider was so silent that even his gadgets could barely pick up the sounds anymore. Certainly a skill Huntsman had all along, but finally seemed to shake off the initial rust after his involuntary slumber. With the knowledge that he wouldn’t be able to catch him on that anymore, the scientist tried to focus on other giveaways.

What had started as an obvious attempt on grilling his nerves, developed into a near playful banter. Just the wordless back and forth to get the other to try harder. In an odd way, it almost felt like Huntsman was training him, but he was careful to keep that thought to himself. Syntax knew better than to read too much into the hunter's actions, as chaotic as they were.

Nonetheless, the scientist found himself trying to imitate the hunter now and then. Since the guy was going on about smelling all kind of stuff, he gave it a try himself. At first not picking up much more than the damp air in the cave, the metal of the machines. It took him a while to find stronger differences, trying to casually walk past Goliath and the Queen. He found it rather surprising that they didn't seem to do much to hide their presence, but maybe it was simply the comfort of the cave that allowed them to do so.

Picking up on Huntsman was an entirely different beast. The man always seemingly on guard, always ready to appear and disappear. However with time, the scientist managed to actually pick up on Huntsman’s scent, as faint as it was. Kind of earthy, a little bit mildewed, and Syntax could swear there was the ever lingering hint of fresh blood. Did this guy ever wash that pelt of his?

Of course, he would never claim that his own sense of scent was as powerful as the hunter’s, but it was enough to know who was currently around the cave. The little lady didn't seem to have any telltales like these, which usually would've raised red flags in his mind but… he didn't question it, nobody else did either. Anything else he came in contact with, the scents of the surface… became a mixed blend of too much too quickly. Maybe a task for another time.

Aside from that, scent and hearing weren’t the only senses he had noticed an improvement in! Their lair seemed to have become much less dark, he wasn’t as dependable on his goggles as he used to be anymore. What before had looked like chunky and random bits of webbing, now unveiled themselves as carefully crafted pieces with intriguing patterns, with uses he was still starting to understand. Goliath did his best to explain them in more 'common' terms, and it was always a pleasant surprise to see how excited the large spider became to share his knowledge. The more time Syntax spent within the Silk Web Cave, the more beautiful this place became to him. A pride welling up that he lived here.

However their hideout wasn’t the only thing that was much more layered than he previously thought. Turning around in his seat, he watched the other two henchmen going about their day. Currently sticking their heads together over something he couldn't see from his position. Still, he watched them a little, while he was sorting further observations in his mind.

...to no one’s surprise, when he wasn’t within the lair, Huntsman was hunting. Or at least, somewhere outside doing who knows what for days on end. Yet always coming back with some good pieces of meat, roots and berries (but mainly meat). The first time Syntax saw the hunter preparing food for dinner, he nearly refused to partake in it. Mostly because he couldn’t imagine his meals to taste anything but bland, or worse, be poisoned. Color him surprised, that stew was better than most dishes the Queen would concoct on a daily basis. Another thought Syntax would take to his grave before speaking it out loud.

When Huntsman wasn’t around for dinner, and everyone else felt too lazy to scavenge for some proper food options, Goliath and he would order takeout. The strong spider clearly intrigued by this concept, always wanting to try something new. Syntax often questioned the sanity of the cityfolk, considering that the delivery people didn’t had much care to come down near a spider den. The food from the surface world had something comforting to the scientist, as cheap and artifical as it sometimes was. Though he was really craving noodle soup as of late and he wasn’t entirely sure why. Syntax let out a little sigh while standing up.

This whole food thing had also shown an interesting side on Goliath. While the Queen and Huntsman didn’t seem to particularly care about human food (the latter even openly showing his distaste for it), the strong spider had taken a deep fascination. Especially sweets and candies seemed to have struck his attention the most. More than once did Syntax catch him just trying some new trendy food or colorful jawbreaker that he got from… who knows where. Goliath didn’t make any of this a secret, however he clearly wasn’t one with a rotten sweet-tooth as he barely finished anything. “For science.”, he once said with a wink and didn’t elaborate any further. Okay then.

“What are you two doing?”, Syntax casually asked as he wandered closer to the two. The strong spider looked up in confusion for a second before giving the younger man a smirk, “Secrets”. The scientist blinked owlishly, circling around them to look over the smaller spider’s shoulder. There were parchments of leather, deer if Syntax would have to guess, with Huntsman trying to draw squares and circles. Large black smudges here and there told the story of many previous attempts, letting the edges of the material look almost black by now.

"Get away from me.", the kneeling spider hissed, Syntax complying with an annoyed eye roll. Looking back at the larger man in an unspoken question. "We want to make a new robe for the Queen.", the giant almost beamed with excitement. Only for the big smile to water down in mild disappointment, "Buddy ain't good at designing though."

"If you wouldn't be just so damn picky!", Huntsman shot back, smudging away his latest attempt. "Just let me do what I do best, I know what I am d-"

"No!", Syntax flinched a little in surprise. It wasn't exactly an usual thing for Goliath to argue, or to even interrupt someone. "I want this to be special and you just can't get the patterns right! For the Queen's sake, just follow a plan for once!"

The scientist had to raise a brow. This was the first time he ever saw the two of them actually butting heads and… he had to admit, it was a little bit refreshing. Letting his eyes wander to some other pieces of leather, recognizing the sketches as copies from the patterns all over the cave. This one was a sigil of warding, as he had learned the other day, and a few were the Queen's own emblem. In case some other spider demon decided to come here, they would immediately know who's domain they dared to enter. The rest of those, he had not gotten an explanation yet.

"If I may.", mechanical arms shoved Huntsman unceremoniously to the side. Crouching down to pick up one of the charcoal, he started to draw. He was no expert on how to draw people by any means, but it certainly resembled the queen more than any of Huntsman's attempts. With careful strokes, he designed a fairly simple cut, working in the patterns on how he would think would look good on the Queen. It didn't pass him that the other two were watching with bated breath.

Once done, the scientist sat back on his heels, giving his creation a proper look. Not too shabby, if he may say so himself.

"Oh this is really good, Syntax!", Goliath cheered, looking like he wanted to touch the sketch but didn't dare to. On the other end of the emotional spectrum, Huntsman almost looked like he was about to explode.

"The fuck is your problem.", the elder hissed in dreadful silence, whole body tense and twitching. "What do you think you are!", he now became louder but Syntax did his best to just give him a neutral expression and not to budge. Which may not have been the best idea, as it only agitated the other further. The hunter was now standing, looming over him. "You really think you can just come in here and do whatever?! Think you can just be part of this??"

Large and sharp spider legs lashed out, in reflex Syntax let out a startled cry and raised his arms in an attempt of protection. But the pain didn't come. They hadn't aimed at him, instead… having shred the parchment with the sketches to bits. "I REFUSE TO WEAVE THIS."

Like an angry lion, the hunter had bared his fangs in a snarl. For a moment, Syntax was still prepared to be hit by the other, but the hunter suddenly turned around and just. Left. Goliath looked torn between the two men, mouthing a silent "Sorry" before hurrying after his friend.

A breath he didn't know he was holding, escaped his lungs. Syntax crumbled a bit to the floor, bitter thoughts flooding in. Just when he thought things were doing okay. Of course he had to step right into a sensitive nerve for the older spider. Heavy clicking pulled him out of his thoughts, but he couldn't care at the moment to look presentable before the Queen.

Spider Queen looked between the tired scientist and shredded pieces of leather, no apparent expression showing. But of course there was a glint of recognition in her eyes. "Why y'all causing such a ruckus?" Syntax sighed silently, giving a brief summary of the recent events.

The silence that followed was uncomfortable, the scientist not entirely sure how his Queen would react. To his surprise, she let out a little tired sigh. "Weaving is something quite personal to us. Especially if we do it for someone else.", she explained without really looking back at him. Instead giving the destroyed sketches another glance. "Just pretend this never happened. He'll get over it." With that, she simply left.

Syntax pulled his lips into a frown. Just ignore this all? If Huntsman got over it or not, it did not matter. His fists clenched a little, looking at the floor, choking and holding back bitter tears he could feel burning in hte back of his eyes. Syntax was more upset that he apparently wasn't allowed to be an actual part of this clan, no matter how hard he tried.

[popculturebuffet]

Prince of Wishful Thinking (Tom Retrospective): Tough Love or The True Monster

Hello all you happy people and welcome back to Prince of Wishful Thinking, what is usually my look at the life and times of Tom Lucitor but since I NEED to cover the season 3 finale as vital part of Tom’s story, we’re taking one last look at the tragic tale of Meteora Butterfly before the finale sends these two stories hurtling together. You’d THINK this would be the last detour of this already sizeable arc.. and you’d be wrong as i’ll also be covering Kelly’s World, as I feel it’s vital for both “Curse of the Blood Moon” and “A Boy and his hard to remember title”, as it provides extra context for Marco’s anguish in the former.. and provides extra evidence for why a CERTAIN MOMENT in the latter pisses me off to no end.. seriously even when as universe dies and the only people left are Frankllin Richards and Galactus, there will still be a little note reading “Fuck how they treated Kelly” written in all caps so Galactus remembers to yell it. 

So sadly that DOES mean it’s been three entries in this retrospective in a row that either haven’t feature Tom at all or in the case of the last episode only had him in short cameos. I mean we did get his love affair for pie but we also got a creepy goblin man forcing his girlfriend and best friend to kiss each other, his best friend being WAY to eager to jump to that conclusion, and neither considering using Marco’s Scissors because the writers only remember he has those half the time in Season 3... and clearly I ddn’t either as I forgot to mention that plot hole, something @jess-the-vampire​ brought up to me. Sadly I DID forget to consult on this when we talked earlier this week , and she’s not online as I write this so I won’t have her insight for this one. 

But if you want some Tom content, i’m happy to share my crossover ship for the boy with you. I’ve been shipping him with Octavia from Helluva Boss lately.  Because of course it’s Helluva Boss, i’ve not been at all subtle with my obession with it and much like Letterkenny, X-Men and Dragon Ball Z Abriged it is a love I never plan to be subtle about. 

But I just think they compliment each other well: They have contrasting atittudes, and tastes in music, but seem like they’d share hobbies. Like taxidermy.. I could see Tom buying this... demonic combination of a badger, a skunk, a deer and my nightmares Octavia is preciously holding up.

Granted I also feel tom would both animate them with their dead souls.. and then use his new woodland friends of the dammned as a chorus to sing “Can You Picture That” from the Muppet Movie, because that’s what my mind does on a regular day. I think the contrasting attitude creates great chemstiry and it made me also realize I have a thing for ships with directly contrasting home lives.  Tom has two loving decent parents who deeply love one another and at worst simply didn’t reign in his worse behavior because it was standard for demon stuff. Octavia in contrast simply has two parents, one who DOES love her and tries his best, but his best includes calling his side piece “My big dicked blitzy” right in front of her and hiring said side piece to guard them, and her mother who clearly thinks so little of her daughter’s emotional well being she hired a cowboy to shoot her daddy dead in the middle of a large crowd. The point is I think they’d be adorable and they both badly need to be happy after being emotionally fucked over by people they care about. 

But  alas my new ship will have to wait as we marginally important things to get down too.. things that will impact both this season and the next’s endgame and utterly destroy Eclipsa and Moon’s relationship for good. Sound fun? Well if so join me under the cut won’t you?

We open in the Pidgeon Kingdom.. and things aren’t exactly great.. and by that I mean Meteora stomped a hole through it and ravaged the place and Rich demands blood.. and vengance.. and possibly blood vengance. But not Tekken Blood Vengance.. he already has like 5 copies of that on dvd. Still needs it on Blu Ray though, hook him up if you got it. 

So Moon and Eclipsa are trying to smooth this over/find out which way did she go George which way did she go, and are angrily dismissed after they try Rich’s patience, not helped by Eclipsa not being familiar with the Pidgeon Kingdom because they hadn’t slaughtered everyone who used to live there yet. Look that’s what happened, Star outright mentions in the Big Book of Spells that htey suddenly sprung up where another kingdom was and no one knows what happens. There was some bird murders up in that place.. or birdur if you will. Some birds drank some human blood. This is what Alfred Hitchock tried to warn us about with his film built on horrifying actress abuse. 

The point is with some more pidgeon-led murder stabbings on the cards our heroines are trying to find her since their attempts to convince Rich not to go on an Archer Style Rampage fell on deaf ears. 

But it’s clear from the second the two are alone both have diffrent priorties: Eclipsa desperatley wants to find the daughter she lost and talk her down from what sh’es become, help her become better and hopefuly heal from the pain she’s been in. She’s lost her husband, her kingdom and centuries. She can’t loose her baby girl too.

Moon on the other hand... clearly has no intrest in helping Meteora or stopping this peacefully. Her first thought is stopping Meteora. Her living through it is not necessary. It’s also clear her racisim isn’t REMOTELY gone depsite Buff Frog and Star’s best attempts and despite learning just how deeply and horribly Mewni’s engrained racism has hurt eclipsa and destoryed Moon’s own family history. To Moon this is just a big monster to fight.. i’ll dive into this more in a bit.

For now our heroines encounter an angry mob. This time their not here for Homer Simpson, but for Meteora as her rampages have destroyd their towns, livelehoods and given some weird guy a hat. It’s the best bit of the episode and i’m embarassed I forgot it happened. 

So with them being no help our queens back out but end up finding some actual help: Eddie! You know the guy from the episode I skipped over... River’s cousin or something like that. He dosen’t have a wiki entry, I do not know why. He’s voiced by Rhys Dharby of Flight of the Conchords Fame whose since made quite the career as a voice actor. No major roles yet that i’m aware of, but a lot of delightful minor ones like this. It’s good to see him he was one of the highlights of that show and not just because he sang this..

Eddie showed up in the Bog Beast of Boggabah and I honestly forgot he was in this episode.. but again, it’s Rhys Dharby. It’s not like suddenly finding out “Aw god dammit Pauly Shore is in this”. So Eddie agrees to help as he’s been tracknig Meteora.. and we find out something troubling: Meteora is getting BIGGER. Gradually, to the point the bog from said episode Is skipped over is drained because she DRANK IT. We also get a great exchange “I’d hate to see the size of her mother” “Actually her father more than helped with that”

Awwwww.... seriously Esme Blanco is a national treasure and has some great deliveries in this one.. and some heartbreaking ones. But before we can get to that it turns out Meteora sucked the powers out of Eddies family.. who he misses..e xcept one guy> That guy can fuck right off. Seriously Eddie is also a national treasure and I wish he’d shown up in season 4. I mean he couldn’t of HURT it. For one it’s Rhys Dharby and for another that season shot itself in the face, both feet, the groin and then the face again enough that I don’t think anything could hurt it as bad as the writers already did. 

But sadly we say farwell to Eddie as he goes out how men have since the begining of time.. deciding to poke a strange creature till it murdered him. Or took his soul out in this case, speaking of which...

Yeah while I couldn’t get Jess in time for this review, she did bring this up in the past: Meteora’s ablility to pull a 

Comes right the fuck out of nowhere with no build up and no explination for it. She DID drain personalites and according to this episode youth.. but that was with a big ole machine. It MIGHT have been intended to be one of Globgor’s powers.. but that makes zero sense, as if he COULD do that, as we saw with Toffee last season when he had that power, also out of nowhere but at least it made a touch more sense given his power was draining magical energy anyway at the time, so adding souls to that isn’t a huge stretch, but as we saw that would’ve been game over for the comission, especially since we DO see him fighting them one on three next season. If he had this power, he wouldn’t be in crystal and I think they realized that, but just tried to act as if his daugther COULDN’T do that and assumed everyone would casually forget. And I get not accounting for me writing about this years later, even I wouldn’t of thought that, but not counting on fans both young and old to latch onto a continuity error? Have you met fandoms Disney, have you? It dosen’t bring the story down entirely and I get WHY ti’s there, so she can nonlethally kill people so we’re not down most of the cast for Season 4, but it feels like an easy win button and one she barely uses despite it being eye beam activated. It should be easy enough to pull, boom, soul suck, win, rinse and repeat. It’s okay to have uber powerful tequniques but they have to have a drawback. For instance the Kaioken from DBZ. It’s a really damn cool technique that gives the user a neat red aura and amplifies poewr.. but the more you amplify the more strain it puts on your body and the more likely you’ll die, and Super later creatively explained why it hadn’t been used since Super Sayian was introduced because said form would’ve sped it up so much it’d be too much for a body to take. Here whie Meteora dosen’t use it in EVERY fight, she uses it enough that it makes no sense this isn’t just her first move for every fight she gets into, mental breakdown or not. 

That being said Meteora’s current mental state as she talks to her mother, having regressed to talking in only a few words and acting like a child, makes perfect sense. Henious already wasn’t in great mental shape to begin with, having a slow sustained breakdown since Marco overthrew her. and now on top of this she remembers her whole life has been a lie, starts to mutate into her natural state at a rapid and likely unehalthy pace, and then finds out on top of all of this Mewni is rightfully owed to her. Given she ended last episode blowing a guy up for rejecting her, it’s not a stretch that given even more power and no time to process anything, Metora would deteroate further. 

Esme and Jessica really knock this scene out of the park as Eclipsa presents Metora with her old doll Bobo and gently trying ot talk to her.. but you also get the fear Eclipsa feels as she tries to awkardly manuver around the fact her daughter is far more unhinged than she was prepared for, even threanting Eclipsa simply because Eclipsa wanted to be called mother instead of mommy. But despite this fear.. Eclipsa wants to help and Walter beautifuly captured metoera as a hulk like tragic figure:a being with low sanity and too much power desperate to be loved by the one person it cares about. And it makes it even more heartbreaking as Eclipsa explains what happened: bad people trapped her , a disfunctoinal society with a racist queen and even more racist subjects has taken hold in her absence... and it’s clear both want opposite things: Meteora wants what sh’es owed, her family back on the throne and Mewni back in her graps, but has lost herself so much to rage, anger and insanity she can’t see it’s not hers to take, while Eclipsa.. just wants her daughter back. She’d be happy just settling down with her and having a LIFE after hers was taken away. Eclipsa just wants a chance to be with what family she has left. It just HURTS to know that despite RIGHTFULLY hating the comission, despite having eveyr reason to take the crown from Moon by force and make the world better by force.. she dosen’t want that. She just wants some peace. It’s selfish... but it’s hard not to be when you havealmost nothing to hold onto. Eclipsa has lost her legacy, her husband and her crown... Meteora is all she has and all she wants and sh’ed of been happy if she just accepted that. If that was enough. 

But the real telling part, and the thing that ultimately makes this go as bad as it does.. is Moon’s reactions to all of this. Sh’es CONFUSED by Meteora having a toy as if that’s foreign to her a monster would, and she’s cleaerly livid , if restrianing it, at both Meteora’s deire for the crown and Eclipsa RIGHTFULLY calling out the state of how things are, and mildly at that. Despite seeing how much damage Mewni’s inherent racisim has done, how it lead to her living a lie, ruined Eclipss, Globgore and Metora’s lives, despite how DESPERTLY her daughter struggles to fight against it, despite seeing firsthand that Monsters can have famiies and lives... she can’t let it go. She can’t see monsters as people. SHe dosen’t see a flawed person who was turned into a metpohrical monster by years of brainwashing and abuse and is slowly unravling under the weight of her true self.. she just sees a threat to her kingdom. She dosen’t see her kingdom as racist, just as it should be. And she dosen’t see herself as stepping down like hse damn well should’ve the MOMENT she found out everything. Because at her heart Moon can’t accept the truth and clings to her racisim. 

And that my friends.. is what ultimately leads to Tragedy. Not Meteora’s unraveling mental state, not Eclipsa’s naitvite. What happens next is ENITRELY Moon’s fault. Whle Eclipsa was failing to get through to Metora, she was trying her best and might of gotten somewhere.. but Moon was already settling to attack.. and does so, making it look like Eclipsa set her own child up. 

A fight ensues, a suprisingly even one... but Eclipsa breaks it up and PROVES her way could’ve worked. In one of Esme’s best performances sshe tearfully tells her daughter she loves her.. that ALL she wants is time with her to make up for what she’s lost.. she dosen’t need a kingdom or her crown or her wand, all things she DESERVES... she just wants her daughter. She just wants to help her baby girl before she goes so far down this path of hatred and vengance she’s alreayd well trod upon there is no point to return to. 

It gets through to Meteora, makes her stop... and Moon TAKES ADANTAGE OF THAT. She then restrains metoera with a magical rock barrier and starts palpatineing her to death. It’s a horrifying moment that ultimately shows who Moon really is.. that when given the chance to let Meteora go, let her CHANGE and grow as a person and help the kingdom.. she instead tries to kill her. When she’s no longer a threat,  hasn’t seriously hurt her in their fight, and could use her power to RESTORE the damage she’s done, fix what she’s broken and help the kingdom grow and mend the bridges racisim has torn down. But all she can see is a monster, and something to destroy.. not someONE to save. 

So Eclipsa does what Moon would do if it were star about to die and saves her daughter, desperatly trying to stop mooon.. and allowing Meteora to get a clear shot and take half of moon’s soul. While Eclipsa is able to stop her from taking the full thing, Moon is left disoreinted and half alive and leaves on insticnt to parts unknown while Meteora escapes. Eclipsa is left alone, devistated and with her daughter truly lost. And the worst is truly yet to come. 

Before we get into final thoughts i’d like to talk about how this scene impacts Moon’s betryal later. To me having rewatched this scene.. it only makes it work MORE making it clear Moon simply can’t fahtom racial equality and that she can’t fahtom that eclipsa had very good reason for doing what she did ... to me it comes off as her using Eclipsa betryaing her as a very flimsy justifcation to not validate her rule and to first retire and then try a coup. That “Well she “BETRAYED” me so i’m fine. “ But in truth... she betrayed Eclipsa first. She attacked her daughter TWICE when Eclipsa was close to getting through to her Her reasons are flimsy.. because i’ts not ABOUT eclipsa, but what eclipsa represents: equality with a race Moon dosen’t see as people. It’s about Moon’s racisim coloring everything tills h’es truly blinded and should have lost everything She didn’t because the ending is a fucking disgrace, but we might get to that at some point, the point here is for all that disgrace’s faults... it did get it right here, and Moon was always portrayed as being unable to let go of her racisim no matter what it cost her or how much her daughter despteratly tried to change her. Trust me as someone whose Dad used to argue that gay marriage meant he should be able to marry his cat, and who still argues against trans people using the bathroom of their choice, I get trying desperatley to change someone who don’t wanna. “Sigh”. 

Final Thoughts: This episode is truly excellent. The writing is top notch as is the voice acting for all involved and the climax isa true, well led up to tragedy. The animation is also on point, with the characters emotions on perfect display. This is an episode I now realize is one of the series best and worth ar ewatch if you haven’ts een it. Truly amazing stuff that gets me pumped for the finale.. and disapoints me in how the series could reach these highs for one finale.. but would sink to it’s lowest point for next seasons.  Next Time on Prince of Wishful Thinking: Star tries depseratly to find her mom, while Marco, Tom and a motely crew of misfits try to take down Meteora and Tom learns the awful truth from the photo booth and wears a zuko ponytail which weirdly looks good on him. That boy can rock anything let me tell you. 

If you enjoyed this reviews, please consider joining my patreon at patreon.com/popculturebuffet. As mentioned my 30 dollar stretch goal includes a review of the cluster fuck that is the series final arc, and the goals up to that , me making 20 and 25 dollars a month repectively, have their own nifty rewards: At 20 i’ll review Darkwing Duck once a month, the two remaning Ducktales 87 mini series I have not covered and the Danny Phantom film The Ultimate Enemy. 25 meanwhile gets you reviews of the Proud Family Movie, the theatrical recess movie and the Kim Possible almost finale movie so the drama. And 30 also gets you reviews of every episode of gravity falls season 1 at least one a month till I finish it at some point, so as you can see you get a lot of bang for your buck and these reviews will be public for everybody. Not only that but joining my patreon gets you a review a month if you pitch in 5 dollars and evne if you can’t swing THAT much just 2 bucks gets you access to my discord, a guarnateed pick in my shorts, votes for patreon exclusive reviews, and SAID patreon exclusive reviews. It’s a lot of bang for your buck is what i’m saying so please help me out so I can make a living off this and sign up today. I even JUST ADDED an exclusive and utterly insane scrooge mcduck review, The Great Wig Mystery. So throw in a buck to check that out. 

And if your intrested in Tomtavia... please hit me up. I’m really proud of it and until then... i’ll see you at the next rainbow. 

[xenosgirlvents]

Hey can I rant to you about how I find the mono-focus on the very much human dominated forces of Chaos as the real bad guy of 40k to be honestly even worse than the Imperiaal focus?  You know what I always wanted in 40k?  Lizardmen, Alien Ogres, Space Dwarfs, Skaven, and some Vampire Counts to the Necrons’ Tomb Kings.   In WHFB only three playable armies were human (five if you count the undead as human) and WHFB had a larger number of independent factions than 40k.   Meanwhile in 40k about half of all the armies in the game are Imperial and another large chunk are the equally insufferable legions of Chaos as the two factions circlejerk over who is the more racist and xenophobic.   While in FB you had the annoying emphasis on Chaos as the one true threat (which is increasingly being emphasised in 40k including the awful, awful retcons they want to do to the war in heaven where what was supposed to be the xenos equivalent to the horus heresy gets “akshually the real bad guy is chaos lawl” shoved into it), humanity was just a part of the struggle against it or other forces such as Undeath or the Greenskins.  Not even the biggest part, with the High Elves, Lizardmen, and Dwarfs all bearing more of the burden than the Empire or Bretonnia.   Meanwhile, while theoretically 40k is a setting where non-chaos bad guys are more relevant and more able to defeat Chaos and take over as the one; the non-humans actually do less.  Chaos is the only bad guy faction allowed to have permanent wins, to be undefeatable without any asterisks marks and whose fanboys (including GW’s writing team) love to endlessly circlejerk about how opposing Chaos is useless because they’ll get you in the end. And how 40k is really about humanity’s inevitably doomed succumbing to Chaos and how the Chaos Space Marines and Daemons are the destined victors and blah-de-blah.  Any time an effective counter to chaos is written about in any other faction’s lore; the Chaos favouratism gets to show with “akshually chaos overcomes this because phhbbbbbt” with eye-rolling descriptions of how Chaos overwhelms say; the Tyranid hive mind by scattering it with the great rift, or how the death guard can infect nurgle, or how actually Tzeentch only pretended to lose to the Eldar or how Slaanesh actually pulled a fast one over the T'au.   Nobody is allowed to be more of a threat than the Chaos Space Marines and Daemons even though the former are literally a bunch of spoiled paramilitary stormtroopers salty about the Emperor saying they weren’t allowed to rule over normal humanity like god-kings and the latter have lore that is fifty million variations of “lol inevitable victory”.  The Chaos Space Marines are so lacking in numbers, so incapable of large scale cooperation not riven with petty fratricidal personal rivalries, so bereft of a functional logistical train, and are lead by such an insufferable band of edgy cartoon villains that they should honestly be little more than a nuisance that the Imperium only focuses on because of their symbolic threat. An annoyance compared to the much more organised and vastly more numerous and far better at exponentially scaling up power of the Necrons, the Tyranids, or the Orks. One that is carrying out an empty, pointless rivalry sparked largely over a bunch of stormtroopers being furious about not being allowed to be kings.  Wouldn’t it be more thematically meaningful and fit better into the cosmic horror that 40k wants to be if Chaos was actually mostly a symbolic threat that would be ignorable if the Imperium wasn’t still spooked over what amounted to an attempted religiously motivated military coup ten thousand years ago and that ultimately; this petty rivalry doesn’t matter? That the bitter hatred over Horus’ coup ultimately is meaningless in the face of the fact that this galaxy, this universe, has never belonged to humanity or anything spawned of it?  Khorne may feed off the violence of humanity and many minor xenos species; but Gork and Mork are a far more pure form of warmongering and what we now know as the Greenskins are just the tip of the iceberg compared to what they can really do when the WAAAGH! gets rolling. Nurgle may be an infestation of humanity’s despair and inability to progress but the Tyranids are the cancer that will kill the universe itself. Tzeentch may be clever and ancient as the firstborn of Chaos; but the Necrons have plans stretching back to before even the very idea of Tzeentch came into being.   And of course, unlike the Dark Elves; the Druklhari aren’t really a major villain or threat. Vect is just kind of an asshole in his own little corner, not one of the top big bads the way Malekith was.  But nah instead we get CHAOSCHAOSCHAOSCHAOSCHAOS coupled with ADB and Reynolds’ bizarre (but in hindsight, given what we’re shown of Chaos; sensible) revelation that actually Chaos is even more racist than the Imperium.  It leads to 40k’s central conflict being between Satanist Ethnonationalist AnCaps and TradCath Ethnonationalist Reactionaries. Creepy bloodthirsty edgelords versus Roman bust twitter pfps.  None of the other villains are ever allowed to “usurp” Chaos’ place as “the real threat” and any time non-chaotic bad guys get a time to shine, the Chaos writers pitch a fit and force in awful reminders that Chaos is actually the real threat behind everything and can never ever lose.   It makes Chaos come off less as an interesting villain and more of a childish edgelord fantasy written by a bunch of kids who go “nuh uh!” everytime they take the L or insinuate that spikelord edgy mcgee is anything less than the coolest bad guy ever made.  The fandom makes fun of Abaddon because he textually hasn’t really done much in thirteen tries? Well actually retcon in some outlandishly complicated super duper secret plan so that he and his army of *checks notes* less than one million racist storm troopers in ancap colours are actually totally the greatest threat in the setting and not the vastly more organised Tyranids or more tactically competent Necrons or the more numerous Orks.  People still make fun of abaddon because he looks like a goofy mook rather than an awesome overlord (at least Archaon looks like someone you’d immediately figure for as the big bad of a setting; Abaddon looks more like…the real bad guy’s stupid but strong brute muscle enforcer)? Have an entire novel series written to squee about how awesome and cool he is which literally none of the other “big bad” factions’ primary characters have ever gotten.   Also I am sick to death of how GW pushes Khorne as the unbeatable poster bad boy of the entire setting over and above even the rest of Chaos. Yeah his aesthetic is simple, marketable, and he’s incredibly easy to write into plots (even if I think there’s never been more interesting takes on Khorne where he’s shown as actually capable of cleverness in the pursuit of maximising mindless death and destruction as we see in Dawn of War 1 and Dawn of War 2 Retribution; where the Khornate villains have an impressively clever scheme even if the end goal is just “kill people”) and you can explain his concept to anyone.  Please stop trying to throw him into literally everything and let other bad guys have even a little bit of spotlight.   Octarius and Armageddon? Khorne crashes the party. Tzeentch threatens Luna? Well akshually Khorne invades Terra, take that nerds.  Where does Khorne even get all these worshippers to yeet themselves into every warzone in existence when he probably offers the least to his followers that most people would want? 

So on some points I agree with you, others I disagree, and in some places I understand the general feeling you’re conveying but am not quite so vitriolic.

Yes; I wish 40k as a setting was more akin to WHFB and AoS in that it permitted more factions to matter. 40k is, I agree, so myopic in it’s focus that it becomes frustrating. If the other factions weren’t playable I would understand, certainly, but if you’re going to offer players a chance to invest in the Xenos factions but then just never give them any return on that investment it feels like nothing more than lying to people.

Similarly; I also wish we saw more of a non-Human (and even then more of a non-Chaos Space Marine) component to Chaos. I find it hard to take Chaos seriously as a universal force when, over their supposedly non-linear/infinite period of existence they seem to never have done anything other than obsess over one species who, compared to the majority of other playable species in the game, have been around insanely briefly.

Yes; I do agree that I wish at times Chaos wasn’t used to usurp Xenos threats just to pull the old ‘but Chaos was the true villain all along’, see what you mention about the Hive Mind and the Great Rift, about Chaos usurping Orks on Armageddon etc. etc.

However, I disagree that Chaos is remotely as irritatingly favoured in the lore as the Imperium. Yes, it is true, that it is not infrequently written in vague terms that ‘you are all doomed, Chaos comes for you,’ but, in the majority of cases, this is purely informed, never shown. It is akin to the lines that tell us ‘Aeldari are so smart and elite,’ but then we just get shown them being curbstomped over and over again. We’re ‘told’ Chaos is some great looming threat which will win...but in practise they do only mildly better than Xenos in the lore, with Chaos losing the vast majority of everything they ever do in the lore, just like Xenos. I will admit Chaos has, lately, done *marginally* better in the lore, and that is definitely connected, as you say, to the active focus to make Chaos the ‘big bad’ now, but it is still only marginal.

I do agree that I would prefer not to see Chaos made to eclipse all other threats but my main motivation here is just because in 40k, as you point out, Chaos is never separated from the Imperium. In WHFB and AoS Chaos can take on a plurality of forms and is not just a ‘spikier’ version of the main human faction. For this reason the recent feeling I have had is just that 40k is increasingly becoming a clone of the Horus Heresy which, as someone who likes Xenos, is obviously a disappointment.

I don’t share your very strong disdain for Chaos. For the most part, in 40k’s lore, I feel Chaos is largely akin to Xenos in that we’re all glorified punching bags for Space Marines (you yourself point out Abaddon’s memetic loser status). I concede Chaos does *marginally* better but, at current, that is so inconsequential to me that it doesn’t bother me anywhere near as much as the treatment of Xenos vis-a-vise the Imperium.

My personal take is I think the favouritism as an antagonist, shown to Chaos, is less detrimental to the cause of Xenos agency in the lore than the raging boner GW and BL have for the Imperium and, in particular Space Marines. 

I also, in general, think Chaos would benefit from being developed in a more nuanced way. I don’t see them quite as cardboard-cut out as you seem too (not denying many are because BL and GW can’t write non-Imperium characters well mostly) but I think many of them have, and to an extent do also, get treated more nuanced in some of the literature. I do think a big failing here is that Black Library has made *some* efforts to make *some* of the Chaos characters interesting and nuanced but, for some reason, GW tends to just ignore this. Hence Magnus can in his own novels be portrayed as sympathetic due to his loyalty to his people and desire to not persecute Psykers, but then when appearing in a campaign supplement just makes the stock-generic ‘bow before me mortals/I am your doom/all shall fall’ comments with little to no character.

Personally, and this is recognizing as I said above that I do understand some of the points you’re making, I feel like Chaos players and Xenos players, in terms of the lore treating us like crap, have more in common than not. But, again, that’s just my personal opinion! 

[sintreaties]

do you have any yumesaya headcanons?

I do! As I said before, I do believe that they wouldn’t be the best of couples, so let’s start with something pleasant:

— Sayaka easily gets jealous as Yumeko is one of the friendliest fiends she’s ever met, and also, one of the most hantsy. When Yumeko notices though or they talk about it, the latter decides to hold back a bit, at least around Saotome

— Considering the way Yumeko acts around Mary, I don’t exclude that Sayaka would hate every second those two pass together. It would eat her up from the inside and she’d end up becoming openly hostile (follows a ToD arc between Mary and Sayaka, but without ToD and without Mary, cause she really doesn’t give two shits about Yumeko in that regard)

— Whereas Kirari has always given me the impression of one who doesn’t like food unless it’s sTiMuLaTiNg ( you can’t tell me she wouldn’t be one of those kids who only eat dinonuggies as a child), Yumeko is shown to enjoy sweets in canon. She might share this preference with Sayaka, also teaching her to relax when it comes to tea-time.

— Yumeko isn’t that good at making tea, Sayaka tries to avoid making it because she connects it to Kirari, so their dates usually entail going to tea rooms and just enjoying a quiet moment together. They try as many places as possible before settling to their favorite — but they’re still looking for more.

— Yumeko being friendly implies that Sayaka gets to know a lot of people through her. They’re not buisiness partners, like in Kirari’s case, so little by little, Sayaka gains new friends, although unwillingly. (Saotome and Suzui are obviously included)

— Yumeko and Sayaka are brethrens in arms in their communal dislike of Midari.

— Yumeko likes to surprise Sayaka with random gifts — whether she won them in bets or not.

— Sayaka learns to lean on Yumeko’s physical attentions, soon becoming almost dependent on them and learning to use physical contact as one of her love language

— on Yumeko’s part, continuos attempts at gambling, wether with others or with Sayaka, will force the latter to impose herself to avoid as many as possible when there’s no reason for them. Sometimes Yumeko listens... most of the time, she doesn’t.

— Yumeko’s way of influencing someone isn’t always the most pleasant, even when the result would be for their own good (see: Itsuki in Choice Poker, or Tsubomi). When they fight they can both be very stubborn, but if Yumeko wants to have her way she will have it. If they fight there are often long stretches of time in which Yumeko refuses to acknowledge Sayaka’s presence, like she did with Yumemi in the Election gamble.

— No matter how badly Sayaka decides to set her foot down, upon seeing that their relationship is falling apart, she always gives in. And that’s not really cash-money.

— Yumeko is a fucking tornado. She sweeps everything and everyone up, sometimes dragging them miles away from where or what they want to be. This implies that if she wants to gamble and Sayaka (or something that Sayaka owns) can be wagered she will use it however she sees fit, forcing her into all the bets she wants. Which is also not very cash-money of hers.

— If Sayaka was to really show herself against Yumeko’s addiction, the latter could try to convince her through coarse and extreme means (i.e. a gamble indeed), she would keep whispering sweet nothings in her ear every time to keep her docile, or she could start gambling in secret, which is what most addicts do when they’re cornered, increasing Sayaka’s insecurities. Also not a good look.

That’s all I have for now. Feel free to add as many as you want in the replies!

[feigeroman]

Station to Station (funk to funky...)

So, spurred on both by one of my previous headcanon posts getting liked and reblogged by @mean-scarlet-deceiver​ (who is totally awesome - go check them out), and by The Unlucky Tug’s magnum opus of a video essay about his take on the Island of Sodor (check it out below, and then check him out - both are totally awesome), I decided it’d be a fun idea to share some of my own headcanons about Sodor. Most of these are things I remembered while watching the video, which you can see here...

...And I’ll be presenting them in the order I remembered them. The video isn’t strictly necessary to understand this post - I just wanted to share it. It’s also worth having a copy of the Sam Wilkinson map (mentioned in the video) to hand, as it’s what I used as the basis for my take on Sodor. Yes, I know it’s a bit of a clusterfuck, but so is my version of the timeline, so...

***

1) Knapford is Tidmouth, and Elsbridge is Knapford

What do I mean by this? Well, what the RWS calls Tidmouth, the TVS calls Knapford. And what the RWS calls Knapford, the TVS calls Elsbridge.

Confused? I certainly was the first time I tried typing that! I’ll just explain the headcanon:

Basically, I go with what the RWS says. In other words, what the TVS calls Knapford, I call Tidmouth (incidentally, I prefer this version with the big yard alongside)...

...And what the TVS calls Elsbridge, I call Knapford. I know this shot doesn’t really show the station, but I decided the yard in the background is part of Knapford as well.

2) Which harbour is which?

This is somewhat similar to HC1, in that I’m changing up some of the names of established locations. There are many docks and harbours on Sodor, but the show mainly focuses on Brendam (and either Knapford or Tidmouth in earlier seasons). Those locations change drastically from season to season, and I wanted to account for most of the various appearances. So in no particular order:

For Tidmouth Harbour, I use the current Brendam Docks (though my headcanon is something nearer to the real-life Southampton Docks).

For Knapford Harbour, I use a mix of S2 Knapford Harbour and S3B Brendam Docks Just imagine that the former evolved into the latter over time.

For Brendam Docks, I use the S2 Brendam Docks.

I’ve loosely based Arlesburgh and Kirk Ronan on the real-life Bristol and Weymouth harbours, respectively.

3) Two or three-track mind

Okay, this was something I only thought up after seeing Tug’s video. He points out that the number of tracks tends to vary between sets, and he decides on the following:

Three tracks means it’s somewhere on the main line.

Two tracks means it’s a branch line.

One track means it’s either the far end of a branch line, or a freight-only line.

However, he also makes the point that some parts of the main line are inexplicably double-tracked, such as Cronk Viaduct (which he moves to Wellsworth, but that’s neither here nor there):

In cases like this, my headcanon is that the main line was originally completed as a double-tracked railway, with most of it being upgraded to triple-track later on. Obviously it may not have been possible or feasible to upgrade certain sections, hence them being left as double-track.

4) Lower Tidmouth

Now here’s one that I really like. This unnamed station from The Three Railway Engines was christened Lower Tidmouth by the TVS modelmakers. It’s located between Tidmouth and Knapford, and sits on the southern outskirts of the former town. Even though Tidmouth is a pretty large town - especially in my headcanon - its main station seems to cope well enough on its own, so why this extra station?

My headcanon is this: During the War, Tidmouth would most likely have been of great strategic importance, with its harbour and rail links - and therefore a prime target for air raids. Just in case the main station was bombed out of action, Lower Tidmouth was constructed just outside what was then the edge of the city, to serve as a temporary passenger terminus. After the War, the rudimentary station was given a major upgrade, after it was discovered that many people living to the south of Tidmouth found it more convenient than the main station.

5) Lower Tidmouth Tunnel

A much smaller idea now. This short tunnel is located between Tidmouth and Lower Tidmouth, and I just want to say I like to imagine that this looks the same as Henry’s Tunnel does in the TVS - two tracks in one bore, one track in the other. The only difference is that it’s built from red brick, as shown here.

6) Some ideas above Edward’s Station

This is a double-barrelled headcanon concerning Wellsworth. One concerns the station itself, and the other concerns its goods yard.

Firstly, the station itself. There’s been a lot of debate about which way round it should be. Should the footbridge be at the western or eastern end? Personally, I think it should be at the western end. My reasoning is that that would allow the bay platform siding (where Henry is in the above picture) to be at the eastern end, facing towards Gordon’s Hill. I assume that’s where Edward would normally be stabled when he’s waiting to bank trains up the hill. I just think it’s more convenient on that front.

As for the goods yard?

Well, I think this is Wellsworth Yard. That’s it. That’s the headcanon.

7) The Parkway Stations

This next headcanon concerns a rather obscure part of the Sodor railway geography - namely, these two tiny stations on the main line.

These stations serve the tiny villages of Balladrine and Kellaby respectively - though, in true railway fashion, they’re actually located some distance from the communities they serve. My original idea was to go down the usual route and just add the suffix Road to the station names, but then I was struck by a flash of real-life inspiration.

In the 1970s, British Rail opened a number of park-and-ride stations, which basically means you drive to the station, park your car and continue your journey by train. They usually have the suffix Parkway, as the first one was built close to the M32, which is also known as the Bristol Parkway.

Anyway, that’s the gist of this headcanon. The North Western jumped on this Parkway bandwagon around that same time, allowing people from the villages to either drive or catch a bus to the stations, and then catch a train to wherever.

8) The new Kellsthorpe Road

In my own personal timeline (which is a whole other headcanon in itself), Season 8 takes place in 1976, and it’s during this season that we see Kellsthorpe Road being built. Obviously the station had existed since the railway was built, so what’s with this new one?

Well, I like to think this was actually a relocation to somewhere more convenient for both the town and the junction with the Kirk Ronan branch.

9) Crovan’s Gate and other small works

I already touched upon this idea before in my Victor’s Haulage Truck headcanon, but if you haven’t read that, it goes like this:

I’m not a huge fan of the Steamworks and Dieselworks being separate facilities in separate locations. I just think the RWS version of Crovan’s Gate makes more sense, seeing as you would want all your major repair equipment and facilities to be concentrated in one location.

That being said, I wouldn’t say all this sort of work should be concentrated at Crovan’s Gate. It’s implied in the RWS that more minor repairs are carried out at smaller workshops across the rest of the system - I’d assume these are located at all the major engine sheds, and that there’s at least one on each branch line. These would also be useful for when there’s more work than Crovan’s Gate can take on at once.

10) The Sheds

Speaking of sheds, I have a handful spread across my version of Sodor. Basically, I have a couple at each end of the main line, and one on each of the branch lines. And since the highest operating district number in real life was 89 (for Oswestry), I’m gonna say all of the NWR’s engines are allocated to District 90, covering all sheds on the region:

Tidmouth (90A)

Knapford (90B)

Crovan’s Gate (90C)

Vicarstown (90D)

Barrow In Furness (90E)

Arlesburgh (90F)

Ffarquhar (90G)

Brendam (90H)

Peel Godred (90I)

Kirk Ronan (90J)

Great Waterton (90K)

Norramby (90L)

11) Dryaw Goods Station

Alright, this one is more about a specific episode than a location, but I thought it was worth throwing into the mix. This goods station only appeared in Thomas Gets Bumped, and nobody is quite sure where it’s meant to be. Some people say it’s Hackenbeck. Others say it’s Toryreck. Me? I’ve always thought of this as the original Dryaw Station, on what is now the Harbour line on the Ffarquhar branch.

I say this because the surrounding scenery matches what’s shown on the map, and it makes sense for a freight-only station to be located on what is now a freight-only line. But if that’s the case, why does Thomas seemingly pass through daily with his passenger train?

I toyed with the idea of Thomas being there because he’s pulling a workers’ train, but then I came up with something better. In my personal timeline, this episode takes place during the initial construction of Knapford Harbour, and the new passenger line with it. More specifically, during a brief interim period between the closure of the original Dryaw to passengers, and the opening of the new passenger line.

12) The Sports Field Halt

At the end of the Sodor Explained video essay, Tug admits that he couldn’t think of anywhere to put this station from Three Cheers For Thomas.

Sam Wilkinson’s map places this halt just south-west of Elsbridge, and that’s where I’ve decided to place it too. Not just because it’s semi-canon, but because do you know what other location is just south-west of Elsbridge?

Yes, this cricket field. In my headcanon, I’ve merged these two locations together. Makes sense, right? They’re both sports related things, next to an embankment, and just south-west of Elsbridge. I don’t think it’s too much of a stretch, and you can always imagine the halt is a request stop serving the sports field.

***

Alright, I think that’s enough headcanons for one post. Firstly, because I underestimated just how much I had to talk about. And secondly, I’ve always said it’s not wise to put all your eggs in one basket. It’s much more sensible to just put out a short thing, let it simmer for a while, and then finish off the rest later.

I hope you guys have enjoyed this post. I certainly enjoyed finally getting all these thoughts out there. Stay cool, stay safe, and I’ll share the rest of my thoughts at some point in the future (even if they are as insane as the ones I’ve already shared so far!)...

[everything-laito]

could you analyze Q.E.D? owo

Anon, you do not even REALIZE how long I’ve wanted to do this. Song lyrics are always challenging for me though, which is why I’ve never gotten around doing it. But, since I have confidence in Laito’s character and his context, I think I can do it. I get most of my DL song lyrics from Silvermoon on live journal, so special thanks to them! If you wanna listen to Q.E.D, it’s on my Soundcloud!

Please note that this analysis is a lot more loose because it’s from a song. Stuff like this is typically up to interpretation even more than Laito’s regular game script. After writing this, I discovered that @/the-madame21 had her own interpretation that QED is Laito talking to Cordelia inside of Yui. So I’m just getting imposter syndrome thinking that this analysis isn’t good enough because it’s not as “confident” as my other ones, but oh well! I hope you enjoy my interpretation too!

Let’s dive in! (and if you have anything to add on, please do, I had a bit of trouble with figuring some stuff out; song lyrics are pretty much poetry which is my weakness haha) Full thing under the cut!

As time passes, the more it expires, fading away Love dies only when growth stops If everything was laid bare, no matter what, Would the heat of the feelings from that day lessen?

I do believe the first line has to do with Laito being a vampire, with his seemingly eternal life. I don’t know what he means by “that day,” either it has to do with Cordelia or Yui. I had trouble understanding what “if everything was laid bare” so I looked up an alternative translation that said “If everything were gone, and nobody could change what went wrong,” Both essentially say the same thing, so I know it’s just a translational choice. So, I believe this is Laito questioning his emotions and thoughts about how love works. 

His statement of “Love dies only when growth stops” sounds more of a definite one; like he’s confident in it. It’s also an absolute statement, which we should all know that absolute statements should be avoided, because there are always exceptions. To me, this implies that he doesn’t have a lot of experience with love––aside from the feelings he’s experienced. Which we know is true (until Yui really, considering this his his more blood character song) and we know it’s not true love with him and Cordelia. 

I think the “growth” part in that really made me think. What does he mean by growth? I’m not fairly experienced in romantic love, but I do know love of any kind (platonic, family) you both grow together or off of each other. It’s a constructive relationship, but the “when growth stops” stumped me, because people typically never stop growing. But, in Laito lingo I think “growth” might mean until he gets bored? It makes sense to his character but I can’t say for sure. 

Even if my life was surely coming to and end, Entertaining the faint hope that this blood of mine will be passed on, The crystal of love it emitted in your body, “……―――It’s meaningless”

This... Kinda sounds like the hint of getting someone pregnant, but I really don’t think this is the case. The “crystal love” is also hard to say what that’s about, but I believe that has to do with biting/fangs. To Laito, pleasure = love, and in this case specifically, (whether we’re dealing with Cordelia or Yui) pain (typically from fangs) = pleasure = love. As for him mentioning his blood, I’m not sure if that’s a reference to turning Yui into a vampire in the first game (x to doubt kinda) or Yui and Laito “intertwining/becoming one” at the end of his More Blood’s route. But, I’m not sure! Because blood as a motif means many things within DL and in real life. 

I do believe this is Laito going back and forth believing in love or not. He’s been through so much shit which is why he says “its meaningless” despite him “entertaining the faint hope.” He’s shutting down his optimistic thoughts in an attempt to be realistic. 

Ah, as time passes, Even if it was somehow replaced, There’s no proof that I ever loved you or anything “………Because I didn’t want to say it”

THIS. THIS. GOD, it kills me. I do think by this point we know he’s talking about Yui. Sure he’s told Yui that he loves her but it was more of a meaningless thing. Yet again he says it genuinely in the scene where him and Yui do it consensually. So, I don’t know! This whole song is vague!!! But what else do we expect from him. 

He’s basically saying that if he moved on to love someone else, there was no proof that he loved them, but like how he directly says, it’s because he didn’t want to say it. Hesitance like this probably links back to the previous lyrics of him going back and forth with whether love has meaning or not. 

After all, it’s all over, isn’t it? In time, won’t everything disappear, no matter what? So without robbing us of our ‘now,’ stringing the memories together, As the continuous bloodsucking stretched out into ‘eternity,’ If you say you wish for ‘immortality,’ We’ll prove it now! Together with you, Q. E. D. ―――…………!!!!!

Queue “It’s Over, Isn’t It” from Steven Universe This is like... optimistic nihilism (which I so vibe with lol) and I think this is Laito saying he just wants to focus on the present and get rid of the thoughts he previously said in this song (whether it be through healthy ways or unhealthy ways... it’s probably the latter). This does insinuate Yui’s presence, and him turning her into a vampire. This I believe is just another distraction for him to attempt to avoid his circling, depressing thoughts.

Now we gotta talk about what QED means. QED is an acronym for the Latin phrase “quod erat demonstrandum,” which means “what was to be shown.” In math or a philosophical argument, it’s used at the end of an argument or problem to basically say “it’s been proven.” Wikipedia also adds on that it can mean “thus it has been demonstrated” when used in this light. 

Laito’s “QED” is his desperate effort to prove if his feelings and thoughts are correct. Man it’s taken me years to actually figure out what he means by this, but this is my own interpretation. 

As the time of death approaches, the nearer it draws, coming into view There is always light behind No matter who, everyone is praying to someone There is just little remaining of that day, isn’t there?

I’m still so confused what he means by “that day.” I know this is Laito we’re talking about, but come on LOL. From this I have a feeling it’s about Cordelia and maybe the first day she abused him? I’m not sure. Maybe it’s meaning that he’s moving beyond Cordelia. I do like these lyrics because it’s super poetic. As for the “everyone is praying to someone,” this doesn’t mean everyone believes in a god, this just means that everyone has that one person they either look up to or look to gain a moral compass. That’s what a religion (to my understanding) essentially is at its basis. 

Even if we quietly tried to abandon hope, Your lips on mine again and again, as this bittersweet time passes by somewhere, The crystal of love it left within my heart, “……―――It’s worthless”

This is Laito admitting that he’s feeling love really. This is through Yui’s own love too. But him saying “it’s worthless” is another desperate attempt at him trying to be “realistic” and to not get his hopes up. 

Hey―――………Shall we dream? That we fell ill, and there were days we couldn’t see If the proof that the two of us were alive is stained red, “………Forgive me”

The way he says “forgive me” in the song is SO desperate and sad. But I think this implies that he’s asking for forgiveness for his past actions? I do think that he knows he’s twisted but he just doesn’t know anything else aside from his normalcy. Sure his actions aren’t justified but they’re explainable. 

I also think his “dream” he suggests is maybe he wants to feel alive? Maybe him feeling like his feelings “aren’t valid” because he feels that they’re “human” emotions. Because in the games he repeatedly states how he’s a vampire and not alive etc but it’s interesting how he says “if the proof that the two of us were alive” like woah buddy

The tone that depicted the future of tomorrow always shattered in your ear In your torn eardrum, it left behind a dangerous red wish As the continuous whispers stretched into ‘eternity,’ If you say you wish for ‘immortality,’ We’ll prove it now! Together with you, Q. E. D. ―――…………!!!!!

This might reference that really.... awful.... terrible.... scene in ecstasy 04 of HDB. (I think it’s 04 ((edit: its 03 LOL I should’ve checked)) but it’s the really really uh awful one) But again I’m not sure. He does still reference turning Yui into a vampire though which is interesting, because that’s the only thing I can think of an “eternal love” being.

“If there’s no such thing as ‘eternity,’ I want to destroy this time… That’s…what I’d wished……”

This man really just wants to grasp onto things for eternity, goddamn. I think that he still just wants to distract himself or something because I’m not sure what else he would mean by that. 

Only this feeling, Forgetting the ‘warmth’ that lived, Somehow, it’s becoming vague That’s not the only thing―――……!

This seems that he’s slowly forgetting Cordelia’s “love”, which is nice. Because it’s been a long time and the whole “that’s not the only thing” might imply that he’s losing himself in other ways too aside from the feeling of Cordelia. 

After all, it’s all over, isn’t it? In time, won’t everything disappear, no matter what? So without robbing us of our ‘now,’ Stringing the memories together, as the continuous bloodsucking Stretched out into ‘eternity,’ If you say you wish for ‘immortality,’ We’ll prove it now! Together with you, Q. E. D. ―――…………!!!!!

(I already analyzed these lines haha) but wow I love this song. I know this isn’t as confident as my other analyses but I hope this suffices, anon! 

As always, thanks for reading, and the ask box is open for any business you may have with me!

Ciao! -Corn

[devil-in-the-d3tails]

It’s the End of the World as We Know It - Chapter 2

summary: During the international quarantine in your first-ever pandemic, the people around you slowly begin to disappear. As the world grows quieter and quieter, you find yourself all alone-- no power, no friends, and only one goal: to find whoever of your friends might be left and reunite with them.You're naive to think anything can be that simple. As you're faced with ever-increasing loneliness, you run into some boys who apparently went to the same high school as you. Will you join forces with them to figure out your strange circumstances together, or will you brave loneliness in a world that is slowly crumbling apart?

Link on AO3!

words: 3,341

rating: M - Mature

genre: angst/humor, romance, adventure, apocalypse AU, reader-insert

warnings: sort of depressing content, a smidge of violence, cursing

a/n: this one’s a little short, but please enjoy nonetheless!

- Can I Crash Here? -

It’s raining outside. You sit on a mattress that’s been grouped together haphazardly with a number of other mattresses in the dark, cold gym. Akaashi has been sitting next to you quietly this whole time, and you’re appreciative of the silent comfort. Indie lays at your feet, heaving a great sigh every now and then.

When you’d shown up at the gym, you were relieved beyond words to see some familiar faces-- even though you hardly knew these boys at all, they were still alive. You remember falling to your knees and screwing your eyes shut as the grief and fear from the past few weeks came pouring out of you in shaking sobs. Akaashi had been the one to awkwardly pat your shoulder, while Indie sniffed and licked at you nervously.

Somehow in your hysteria, you had been ushered to sit on a mattress while you sobbed into your knees. After a few minutes, you hesitantly looked up to find Akaashi next to you, and Bokuto and Kuroo kneeling in front of you with distress and hesitation-- of course they wouldn’t know what to do in this situation, as you hardly knew yourself.

Akaashi had gently asked you what happened, but you shook your head, unwilling to think of what you had just been through. You remember when a fresh wave of panic overcame you, and you had gasped, which only worried the boys even more.

“M-my car!” You ran your hand through your tangled hair. “I parked it outside the school-- shit, I’m sorry, I-- I didn’t even think-- oh, fuck, they’re gonna find me--”

“Hang on.” Kuroo asserted, placing a firm hand on your shoulder as he hooked you with a steely, calm gaze. You remembered how his bright eyes grounded you somehow, how they brought you back to the present. “We can drive your car over here and hide it. Here, gimme the keys. Akaashi, wait with her-- Bokuto, come with me.”

“Huh? Why do I have to come?” Bokuto exclaimed.

“In case I run into whatever’s got her so scared, I don’t wanna be alone.” Kuroo shrugged as he stood, your car keys having somehow made it into his palm.

“Ohhh, scared, are ya?” Bokuto teased.

“Yeah.” Kuroo said, and that definitely sobered up his spiky-haired friend as the gravity of the situation settled uncomfortably around you four. Bokuto had cleared his throat, and then he had patted your head awkwardly.

“Don’t worry! We’ll fix everything for ya.” He had beamed at you, but you could only stare blankly back. Bokuto shifted awkwardly, then gave Indie a few pats. “Good dog! Okay, we’ll be back. Take care of her, Akaashi!”

The two boys had left about ten minutes ago, and here you were, now sitting in the spacious, cold gymnasium of your high school next to a boy you barely knew who gave you poptarts only a day before. Was it a day? It feels like weeks ago.

You look up at the high ceiling as the rain pitter patters against it soothingly, and you can feel Akaashi’s gaze land on you at your movement. You lick your dry lips, and glance at him.

“A-are none of them awake?” You whisper, and you’re referring, of course, to the number of other sleeping humans surrounding you and Akaashi. The sleeping lumps are unidentifiable, as far as you’re concerned-- you’re surprised there are so many people grouped together in one place. There’s some snores here and there, but no one besides you and Akaashi are awake.

Akaashi shakes his head. “These guys can sleep through a fucking typhoon.”

You laugh a little, and Akaashi’s chest warms up a bit. It’s nicer to see you smile instead of cry. He clears his throat.

“So, what happened?” He asks quietly.

You bite the inside of your cheek and glance at him. He seems to always have the same calm, apathetic expression on his handsome features, but his voice is comforting and tinged with worry. The two of you have been sitting in the quiet for some time now, and you’re sure you gave him quite a scare upon your sudden arrival, so you suppose he deserves an explanation.

“Well, I… went home, unloaded some of my groceries.” You clear your throat. “Then, um, I tried to text my friend Callie, but it wouldn’t send, so I fell asleep. And then I woke up around 3:30 and heard some guys in my house…” Biting your lip, you remember being grabbed by the red-head, and subconsciously wrap your arms around yourself, which doesn’t go unnoticed by Akaashi. “Um, so then I ran out and drove here.”

Akaashi hums and studies you for a moment. He can tell you’re troubled, so he doesn’t want to press the subject. But he doesn’t want you to stay troubled.

“What’s his name?” He asks, petting Indie behind her ear.

“Indiana, Indie for short.” You smile sideways at him. “And she’s a girl.”

“My bad.” Akaashi returns your smile, glad to see you relax just a bit. “She’s trained really well.”

“Yeah, she tackled one of the guys back there.” You say proudly, but after you think about it for a second, you hope she didn’t kill him. Indie looks up at you, panting happily, and you give her a pat on the head.

“Damn. Guess we shouldn’t mess with you, then.” Akaashi sits back, and you suddenly notice how close the two of you are sitting. Maybe it’s the extreme lack of human contact you’ve had recently, or the fact that Akaashi is insanely cute, but you feel a blush creep up your neck despite yourself. It’s also stupidly late. And you’re tired.

You glance away from him as you hear footsteps outside the gym, and the doors open to reveal Kuroo and Bokuto, the latter twirling your car keys on his finger.

“We have hidden your car!” Bokuto announces triumphantly, and you shush him, only to find that he hasn’t actually disturbed any of the sleeping people behind you. Akaashi was right, you think as you glance at him again.

“Getting cozy while we were gone?” Kuroo grins, looking between you and Akaashi as the two close the doors behind them and walk up to you. You stand abruptly-- it’s the goddamn apocalypse, you don’t need a crush. Still, yet another blush creeps up your cheeks. Akaashi rolls his eyes as he stands up beside you.

“Where did you hide it?” Akaashi asks.

“Behind a tree.” Bokuto gives you your keys back.

“I should add, we also put some leaves over your car for added security.” Kuroo says, and you nod appreciatively.

“Just so long as you parked it near the gym, it should be out of sight from the street.” Akaashi yawns. You feel a wash of guilt at your realization that you’ve kept these guys up really late, after they’ve done who-knows-what kind of hard work during the day. Not everyone has your fucked up sleep schedule.

“Thank you so much-- um, I’m really sorry for keeping you guys up.” You say sheepishly.

“Don’t apologize!” Bokuto exclaims. “We were up when you got here anyways. Hey, here’s a question-- if your leg gets cut off--”

“We should get some sleep.” Kuroo cuts in. “As much as I’d love to hear her input on that topic, it can wait until the morning.”

Bokuto sighs in resignation, but rubs his eyes tiredly. He wanders over to his mattress and flops down, burrowing himself into his pile of blankets. Kuroo stretches, then stops abruptly as he whips around to look at you.

“Oh shit, where are you gonna sleep?” He asks you, then looks to Akaashi, who frowns.

“Oh, I can just sleep on the floor.” You wave your hand dismissively-- you really don’t want to put them out of any comfort.

“No.” The two boys say at once, and you’re a bit surprised at their severity. Bokuto is already snoring, much to your surprise.

“I’ll sleep on the floor-- you can sleep in my bed.” Akaashi offers, already pulling a blanket off of his mattress.

“Please, you can sleep in my bed.” Kuroo asserts, peeling off one of his own blankets. The two boys look at each other, and you could swear they were glaring.

“No!” You exclaim. “You guys already helped me enough-- plus, it’s cold as hell in here and sleeping on this cold floor is bound to make you sick, and you can’t get sick during the apocalypse-- do you know how easy it is to die from the common cold, especially when there’s no doctors around?!”

The two boys are a little taken aback by your exclamation, and so are you-- this is the most emotion you’ve shown in quite a while. You bite the inside of your cheek and frown, crossing your arms. “None of us are gonna sleep on the floor.” You assert, and Kuroo tosses his blanket back onto his bed.

“What do you suggest, then?” He asks, crossing his arms right back.

“You could sleep with one of us.” Akaashi says quietly, like that has zero implications whatsoever. Your eyes widen, and you’re so glad it’s dark in the gym because you’re sure that your face is as red as a tomato. Kuroo snickers.

“I’m down if you’re down.” He says teasingly, and raises his eyebrows at you.

“Up to you.” Akaashi adds quietly. Clearly, this decision is in your hands-- and you don’t want them to sleep on the floor, and you certainly don’t want to sleep on the floor yourself, and sharing a bed with one of them couldn’t possibly be that terrible, could it?

You gulp, and glance at the floor. Kuroo is hot, you’re not gonna lie-- you’re sure he pulled all the girls in school. He also seems like he’d be really nice to curl up against, since he’s much bigger than you are. And Akaashi, he already makes you feel safe. Plus, his broad shoulders and undeniably fit body cross your mind as you imagine how it’d feel to tuck your head under his chin...

You shake your head. Even though you are touch starved, you will not make things worse for yourself by imagining how it would feel to cuddle with any of these boys.

You clear your throat, aware of how long you’ve been silent.

“Um, I’ll sleep with Akaashi-- if, if that’s okay.” You mumble, hoping to any higher power that they can’t sense your immense embarrassment. Akaashi nods, though you don’t miss the almost triumphant look he tosses Kuroo’s way. The latter only shrugs, flopping down on his own mattress a couple beds over.

You bite your lip, unsure of where to look as you slip off your shoes, then begin to peel off your outer layers. Akaashi undoes his belt, and you look at him alarmingly. He looks confused for a second, then seems to realize what that might look like.

“U-um, I’m gonna keep my pants on.” He says, and it’s the first time you’ve heard him sound nervous. You nod quickly.

“Yeah, me too.” You hate sleeping in pants, especially jeans-- usually it’s a huge tee shirt and undies for you, but you are not about to strip down to only that with a boy you’ve only just met, no matter how cute he is. You slip off your socks, then sit on the mattress with your back to Akaashi. You feel the mattress dip as he sits down too, and you take a deep breath before laying down on your side, facing away from the boy next to you. He does the same, and you can feel the warmth of his backside against yours as the two of you are just inches apart.

The rain falls steadily above your heads, and after a moment, you feel Akaashi shift behind you, and a blanket suddenly finds itself draped over your body. You roll over onto your back just as Akaashi begins to pull away, and he shrugs.

“You said yourself we can’t afford to be cold.”

“Thanks… You have a blanket too, right?” You whisper. Akaashi doesn’t answer, but that in itself is an indication that he doesn’t. You pause, then toss a portion of it over him, only to find it’s just a bit too small to cover the both of you.

...Unless you scoot closer together. The two of you lock eyes with that realization, and you know that he has to be blushing as much as you are. You quickly face away, and he does the same, as the two of you scoot closer together so that your backs are pressing against each other. You take a deep breath to try and calm your racing heart as the warmth from Akaashi begins to spread throughout your whole body. You feel his breaths, which even out rather quickly. He must have been really tired.

You, on the other hand, are wide awake. Your heart won’t stop racing, which is super annoying. Still, you screw your eyes shut in the hopes that you’ll at least get some sleep tonight.

The rain continues falling, and eventually, you are lulled to sleep.

[-]

The first thing you register is a pleasant warmth and an even pleasanter smell. You instinctively nuzzle your face closer to it, and in response you feel whatever sensation that’s wrapped around you tighten its hold. You’re properly wrapped up, though you don’t know what’s around you or where you are. All you know is you’re extremely comfortable and happy.

As consciousness slowly seeps in, memories trickle in one by one: running down your stairs, frantically gripping your steering wheel, wandering around your abandoned high school, dropping your hammer on the concrete outside the gym while staring at--

You furrow your brows, and your eyes flutter open against your will-- you haven’t gotten nearly enough sleep, but you can’t stop waking up as you take in your surroundings.

Your face is currently burrowed into Akaashi’s chest, your head tucked under his chin. Your hands are actually curled into his white shirt, and as you let go of it bashfully, you find that his arms are wrapped around you-- one laid flat on the mattress beneath you, and the other resting over your waist.

A blush once again lights up your face as Akaashi shifts in his sleep, unconsciously pulling you closer. He lets out a contented sigh, and you feel a foreign tingle spread throughout your whole body. You bite your lip-- as sunlight slowly filters into the gym, you’re sure that no one else is awake yet, otherwise you would’ve been woken up to the sound of Kuroo teasing you and Akaashi to no end.

You can’t let the other guys see you and Akaashi like this-- you can’t handle the embarrassment. As much as you don’t want to wake Akaashi up, you have to. Biting your lip, you move to pull away from him, but almost instantly, he tightens his hold on you, and with a grunt, he rolls over onto his back, pulling you with him. You suck in a breath, trying to stay silent as you now rest on top of his chest, one of your legs between his.

You bury your face in his chest, completely unsure of what to do. He was so exhausted last night-- you don’t want to wake him up! Just as your mind begins to race for a flawless escape strategy, Akaashi groans and rubs one eye open.

“Mnf….” He says your name groggily, and you ignore how his gravelly voice sends tingles up your spine.

You decide to play dumb, and turn your head to the side with a big yawn.

“Hmm?” You answer quietly, and relax your body as much as you can. You feel Akaashi freeze in place beneath you, and he quickly removes his other hand from the small of your back.

“U-um… you’re… on top of me…” He mumbles, and you groggily lift your head to face him, making sure to keep your eyes lidded so that you can play this off effectively.

“Huh?” You furrow your brows as you meet Akaashi’s gaze, whose face is now bright red as the sun slowly illuminates the gym. You catch the subtle, perhaps accidental, glance he takes towards your chest, and realization hits you then.

You’re just in your undershirt… a tank top… and your chest is pressed against his… You can imagine exactly what kind of view he had just then as you quickly roll off of him, your arms crossing over your chest quickly.

You both stay very quiet, unsure of what to say to each other. You ignore how nice it felt to be held by him, and how much you didn’t really want to leave his embrace. God, how childish of you-- it’s just the fact that you’re starved for human interaction, that’s why you’re feeling like this.

Somebody yawns really obnoxiously a few beds over, and you look up just as someone hurls a pillow towards the offensive yawner.

“Can it, Shitty-kawa.” Somebody grumbles.

“I can’t even wake up without getting scolded, can I?” The yawner answers.

The gym slowly starts to stir as the sun grows brighter through the high, square windows. You sit up at the same time as Akaashi, and you both can’t help but glance back at one another bashfully. Reaching down, you pull your flannel over your now cold shoulders, and Indie gives your hand a good morning lick.

“Morning,” Kuroo yawns, and grins over at you and Akaashi. “Sleep well?”

You blush, and only mutter a “good morning,” back.

“Huh? Who’s that?” The yawner exclaimes, and you turn towards the sea of mattresses to spot a boy around your age-- also insanely cute, with somehow perfectly styled hair-- sit up and openly stare at you. “Hmm, nice one, guys. She’s pretty cute.” He grins, and you’re not quite sure how to respond to that.

“We’re just ignoring the social distancing rule now, huh?” The guy who threw the pillow sighs and sits up to look at you, as well. You feel like a deer in the headlights, so you look for any possible way to escape this conversation.

You shoot to your feet, and turn to Akaashi. “Where’s the bathroom?” You mumble, but Kuroo answers for him.

“Down that hallway, to the left. No-- sorry, right. That’s where the girls bathroom is. And the plumbing still works!” Kuroo grins, and you nod quickly, turning to rush off to the bathroom. Indie follows behind you loyally, and you hear the boys begin to talk about you openly as you run off.

“Yeah, we met her yesterday…”

“...showed up in tears…”

“...Call her cute again, see what happens, Shitty-kawa…”

You’re in the school bathroom before you know it, and you laugh wryly to yourself as the familiarity of it makes you almost feel like you’re back in school. Small groups of the dirty tiles are arranged in your school colors, and there’s still a very old flier hanging on one of the stall doors, advertising a school play that never happened.

You rush to the sinks, and turn on the cold faucet water. You grip the sides of the sink with ferocity, and dare to look at your reflection.

There was no way you looked cute in this moment. That guy was either extremely thirsty or a cruel liar-- your hair was matted, eyes drooped and tired. You’re sure that your dark circles never looked darker. A wave of embarrassment overcomes you at the realization that you slept next to cute Akaashi looking like this...

You shake yourself of those thoughts, and look at yourself with hardened resolve. You splash your face with cold water, and that wakes you up a bit. Deep breath in, deep breath out. This is only temporary, just until you can gather your thoughts, enough supplies, and enough courage to travel to Ohio alone. This is only temporary…

But it’s your life now.

[instant-typo]

Title: Mark me down as yours 

Pairing: Sidney Crosby / Evgeni Malkin  

Tags: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Fluff, some light cursing, Idiots in Love, Fluff and Humor, Romance, Omega!Sidney, Alpha!Geno, Getting Together, Alternate Universe - College/University

Word Count: 2326

Summary:

Geno's got it bad.

There’s just something about the sight of Sidney holding something that belongs to Geno that makes his hindbrain salivate and activate all the embarrassing Alpha instincts buried deeply in his chest, somewhere below that repressed memory of his grandfather walking in on him at 16 and his highschool talent show performance during which he tripped over the cables on the floor and tore his jeans. So there’s that.

There should be a law against this, Geno thinks and drapes himself a bit more dramatically over his table top. Nobody should be forced to sit through a two-hour lecture on the history of data ascertainment and theories. What does he care about relativism and rationalism and theories that have been disproven already.

He’s not forced to attend these lectures, Seryosha likes to remind him.

Seryosha is not forced to stick his nose into Geno’s business, Geno likes to remind him.

He’s got his reasons. He’s got plans.

A plan.

Or, well, some parts of a plan. A plan-ish idea?

Attending a boring lecture and staring at the back of someone’s head who sits three rows to the front and seven seats to the right - he’s counted, several times - counts as somewhat of a plan.

Sidney, ever dutiful Sidney, is taking notes in that neat little handwriting of his, with prettily crossed ts and curled as, and the only reason Geno hasn’t left the lecture yet to return at the end and try and talk to Sidney then instead of waste his good time in the stuffy hall with hundreds of other suffering souls is because Sidney is writing with The Pen. The pen Geno has graciously lent him at the beginning of the two-hour hell when the sweet Omega had grown so adorably distressed because he had apparently forgotten his own pen and oh no Sidney how will you be able to take notes here better take one of mine yes really I’m sure here you go.

Seryosha had mocked him under his breath because apparently, Geno scrambling over three rows of crowded desks and almost falling over his own backpack to casually hold out the only single pen Geno had ever owned in his entire university life had not been a real smooth move.

Dick.

As if he knew.

As if he had any idea.

If he’d seen the smile on Sidney’s face or the soft blush on his round cheeks or had heard the stuttered thanks in that cute flustered voice, he would have understood!

There will be teasing he’ll have to endure later, but it is well worth it.

Sidney is somewhat of a legend on campus and one of the first things Geno learned about when he transferred some months ago. Captain of the varsity team, valedictorian of their year, volunteer at the local shelter, regular winner of dressing like a robber award in the unofficial college gossip newspaper.

As if dressing in unfitting, bland clothes will somehow hide all of… that.

They’ve exchanged words, once or twice. Or rather, sometimes Sidney talks at him, about a shared class or some team, and Geno will forget all his English and stare, probably like a bug-eyed creep, until Sidney wanders away again.

So he’s got that going for him…

Sasha had shown him a summary of thirst posts about Sidney’s… assets with so much manic glee once after tickling the secret of Geno’s little crush out of him and Geno had seen himself forced to delete Sasha’s final’s essay from his laptop two hours before the deadline.

(He’d given him the copied version he’d saved on a USB stick ten minutes before it was due because he’s not an asshole. That big of one, anyway. Also, because that Nicklas guy Sasha is friends with scares him. Not that Sasha didn’t totally have it coming, though.)

Anyway.

The sight of Sidney writing with his pen, his light blue pen with the broken off clip and scratched off font makes the Alpha in him purr and stretch contentedly. There’s just something about the sight of Sidney holding something that belongs to Geno that makes his hindbrain salivate and activate all the embarrassing Alpha instincts buried deeply in his chest, somewhere below that repressed memory of his grandfather walking in on him at 16 and his highschool talent show performance during which he tripped over the cables on the floor and tore his jeans. So there’s that.

It leaves him giddy and possessive, almost hot and as much as it soothes his inner Alpha it also wakes the hunger for more, to shower Sidney in things that belong to Geno, smother him in gifts and care and his scent and-…

A sharp elbow in his side tears him out of his little daydream.

The air around him is beginning to cloud with pheromones. His own, he notices sheepishly, other Alphas throwing him glares, Omegas close by shifting distractedly. Even Seryosha, who’s so used to Geno’s smell, is scrunching up his nose and turning his head away, jaw tense.

Embarrassing, to lose control of his scent like that, like a newly presented Alpha.

Geno’s eyes are drawn back to Sidney again, compact, cute Sidney whose ears are red and whose shoulders are drawn up and huh that’s interesting. He feels smug that his scent prods such an adorable reaction out of Sidney.

Sidney… ah, Sidney.

A look at the clock. Half an hour left.

Geno returns to his dramatic position on the desk and stares at the fluffy black strands of hair that curl at the nape of Sidney’s neck. They bop up and down with the jerky movement of his arm as he writes. He wonders what Sid would taste like, there, under his curls, where the skin is tanned and smooth looking and-...

Geno has to actively keep himself from thinking about that neck or jerky hand movements to prevent a repeat of the pheromone accident. Though it would be worth it to see if those ears would light up that enticing shade of red again.

Maybe later. Maybe once they are alone.

Nothing of the lecture has stuck in his brain by the time the bell finally rings and other students around him gather their things. He knows already that he’ll be cursing himself later during finals when he’s barricaded himself into one of the library’s corners, stewing over most likely Seryosha’ notes and understanding absolutely nothing. Oh well…

He casts another longing look at Sidney’s (very beautiful) head.

Worth it.

Geno stuffs his pullover and unopened notebook back into his backpack and stands, stretching his back just so that the slightest sliver of skin is visible over the waistband of his jeans just in case Sidney is looking. The Alpha inside of his chest purrs loudly when he does indeed meet skittish brown eyes that trail up over his chest and flee from his own when their owner finds himself being watched.

Alright. Geno’s practiced this in front of the mirror. He throws Sidney charming smile #4 and winks.

Sidney isn’t watching him anymore.

Instead, Sidney, sweet Sidney, is talking to Kris. Alpha, member of the photography club.

Genos’s mood sours as quickly as it had lifted.

And why would Sidney be talking to Kris when he could be looking at him, talking to him? Geno huffs out a breath of air and pulls his backpack up higher on his shoulder, leisurely walking down the steps of the lecture hall towards the pair. After all, Sidney still has his pen, right? He needs that pen. Now. Preferably before Kris can put that hand on Sidney’s shoulder!

(Also he really needs that pen because he only owns the one and he’s not gonna get laughed at by Sasha again when he inevitably steals one from the front office desk.)

Geno’s steps pick up and before he knows it, he’s rounded the last desk and casually joins the bubble of the two men. Well, it’s more Sidney’s bubble he’s joining.

“Hi!” There’s an awkward halting in the conversation and Geno’s smile grows wider and sharper with every second Kris’ hand keeps dangling in the air like a limp balloon between Sidney and him. Sweet triumph sings in Geno’s chest when Kris drops it and nods uncertainly, maybe to Sidney, maybe to Geno’s not so subtle please back off this is mine thank you. He prefers to think it’s the latter.

“…right. Right, uh… Your pen?” Besides him Geno can feel Sidney shift and when he chances a look down his face is flushed and his eyes are fluttering through the room like a scared little bird. Geno wants to wrap him up in several blankets and handfeed him Russian sweets while petting his head and telling him about how absolutely adorable he is!

Then Sidney looks up and their eyes meet and Geno is lost, can feel himself slipping and falling further and does nothing to prevent it. Sidney’s eyes are endless, cautious and so expressive at the same time, the soft brown brilliantly deep and drawing him in. Geno wants to make himself a nest in their depth and slowly unravel Sidney from the inside, wants to curl himself up in and around the Omega and be at peace there.

“Geno?”

Yes! That’s his name! His name on Sidney’s lips! His!

“Geno!”

He wonders if Sidney knows about Geno’s desire to show him what a perfect mate he’d be for him. How well Geno could take care of Sidney and his needs! He wonders if Sidney will allow him to prove it to him, if Geno were to ask him right now to please, please go out with me, let me buy you gifts and fall asleep with you, please let me court you, please. I have a grandma in Russia who sends me the good chocolate, I can provide for you!

“Earth to Geno?”

Geno startles, tries to catch himself smoothly against the edge of the nearest table and lands his hand smack dab in a puddle of… something. He grimaces and wipes it on his jeans. He’d… rather not now what that is. Ignorance is bliss, or whatever.

“Sorry, I’m…” say something that will impress him. “Very caught in, uh, Molyneux problem theory. Very interesting, uh, how he, uh. How he say that!” And that is precisely the reason he doesn’t talk around Sidney.

Sidney throws him a doubtful look over his backpack, though the corner of his lip twitches faintly, so Geno is cautious to count it as a victory.

“Really? I thought that was extremely boring, to be honest.”

“Oh God, yes, thank you. So boring? He not have any hobbies? Nobody love him, tell, ‘oh maybe go play outside, this not real problem’. If that his only problem, I’m like see him take SATs!”

Sidney’s hand is not quick enough to cover his mouth and the laughter that bursts out of him is so adorably strange yet flattering that all Geno can do is stand there and grin, like a stupid idiot probably. Had he counted the smile as a victory before, then he’s now high on triumph sticking his hands in his pockets to keep himself from doing something stupid, like hugging Sidney to his chest and not letting him go again.

Geno’s heart thumps heavily in his chest.

Now would be a good moment, he’s already talking to Sidney, he could just ask for one dinner.

And he’s definitely going to do it.

Once they are outside.

Totally.

They wander out of the classroom together, Sidney’s backpack bumping into his side with every step.

Yep, he’ll do it now.

“So, thanks again for the pen,” Sidney says, tugging on the straps hanging over his shoulders.

“Yep, sure, no problem.”

Sidney hesitates, then nods and takes a step back and Geno is an idiot. A huge, stupid, idiot. Maybe he could share some of his problems with Molyneux, because he has a lot of them!

“Okay, good. Well then, uh, see you next week?” Who’s he kidding, not even Molyneux would want his problems.

Sidney nods again, steps back, hesitates, then turns and sets off into the direction of the cafeteria.

And yeah, hate to watch you go, love to see you leave, or whatever, English, but man, he blew it. Totally combusted it.

Geno rolls his head back towards the heavens and groans his frustration at the century old gums stuck to the ugly white ceiling places when Sidney stops abruptly, then turns on his heel and marches up to Geno with an expression on his face that has Geno fearing for his bodily safety, for a short little second. He’s never going to admit that to Sasha.

“Actually, no.”

“No?”

“No! I’m not gonna see you next week. Well, no, uh, I guess I am. Unless you’re not coming? Oh man, what I’m trying to say is, I’m free this evening. And tomorrow. Wednesday is bad, because I have training then and Thursday is club meeting, but Friday would be good, unless you don’t want to watch the Habs game, then I’m busy because I really want to watch Carey Price and-...”

“Sidney-...”

“I want to go out with you. On a date!” Sidney stares up at him as if daring him to say no. His cheeks are an adorable pink, his lower lip an obscene red from his obsessive chewing and Geno is powerless against the slow smile spreading on his own.

“Tonight is good,” Geno says softly, catching Sidney’s fluttering hand in between both of his and giving him a slow, hopeful smile.

“Yeah? That’s… that’s good.”

They stand there, grinning at each other like lunatics, hands clasped between them. After a second they take a step back, probably because Sidney’s face looks like it’ll burst into flames any second now, dropping their hands to their sides. He can probably only stand so much soap opera behaviour.

(Sidney might have to get used to that. Geno has so many ideas stored in his head, he and his Alpha instincts have been holding back so badly, and he’s probably going to barf all of his gushy little feelings over Sidney’s weird cargo shorts.)

For now, Geno tugs him forward, towards the cafeteria, their pinkies brushing on every other step.

“I have grandma, in Russia. She send me very good chocolate!”

“Oh? Tell me more!”

[bladekindeyewear]

Book Commentary on Inversion Theory

Alright, as a follow-up to this post, it looks like there’s an actual full bit of Homestuck book commentary (around the pages nearing Rose’s grimdark transformation, Book 6 pg 115, HS pg 3305, thanks @ramiedersedreamer and @zandraxofnebulon) about how Inversion Theory (1, 2, 3, 4, 5) isn’t what we thought.  Quoting and reading it first (not the whole reddit post but that portion at least), then discussion under the cut:

"Rose is a Light player, but her blackout effects result from arguably the nadir of her role as such a hero--that is, when she succumbs to Scratch's manipulations and other eldritch persuasions, and goes grimdark. This truth would appear to lend credence to a line of classpect thinking known as "inversion theory," which really isn't without its merits. This note has just gone to the bother of describing one of its merits, in fact. However, it is possible to get carried away with this line of thinking and use it to evaluate everything that happens in Homestuck. For instance, you could say "Well, Karkat is a Blood hero, and here's where he stops being as Karkatty as usual, so that means he's being the opposite of his aspect. Which means he's being Breathy instead of Bloody. So that means a bunch of other stuff, ipso facto, Homestuck has been EXPLAINED." That's not really the way all this works. Aspect lore runs deep, but it isn't the Rosetta Stone to the story. When in doubt, it's better to remember this: rather than an underlying mystical logic where all classpect roads lead to Deep Answers, HS is a comprehensive nexus of many themes, and all roads lead to the basic idea that this is a tale about kids who are trapped in the universal struggle associated with growing up."

I... hm.  Dammit.  Is that all he wrote??  This slippery author is a master of giving us tantalizing and insightful details without committing to any hard yes-or-no whatsoever.  >:T

I’d been building myself up to reading this all throughout yesterday with gut-wrenching dread that at this late, late, late hour he’d finally given us a definitive “NO” on Inversion.  Instead we get this quite interesting but more vague “eh, there’s merits, but don’t go too far with it”.  Which is...... 

...about as potentially-optimistic as I put it in the previous post, if not moreso?

Andrew’s being careful to lavish odd praise on inversion theory, too.  Which some people are going to interpret as (Option 1) “Nice try, but dead wrong”, like the anon who put a snippet in my inbox initially, and others will interpret as (Option 2) “The big ones are RIGHT, nudge nudge, but stop applying it everywhere cause the fans who say every line of the comic means ‘ghosting inversion’ are looking at the story wrong and annoying everyone”.

As someone guilty of being one of those fans described in the latter half on occasion, I can CERTAINLY agree with THAT last part.  Andrew made it really clear with the ending of Homestuck proper -- “this side shit didn’t matter as much as you thought it did”.  I was so enamored with the classpect system that I thought almost everything was being shown to us through those lenses, at one point -- but even though perhaps more than the random reader might have thought is there, like he says, it ain’t supposed to be no Rosetta Stone.  Even when I WAS overapplying classpect everywhere, the people who did it too often in places I felt clearly un-merited REALLY pissed me off!  I can’t imagine how much more that might’ve been magnified in the shoes of someone who happened to apply the correct, lower amount of classpect and had to put up with me babbling and slathering it everywhere, much less the author’s shoes.

But there is still a big hole in his criticism, one he intentionally seems to have left there to me.  By saying “don’t look for it everywhere”, but ALSO that “there’s more than some merit to it”... I don’t think it’s a stretch to think the truth might not only be somewhere in between Options 1 and 2, but perhaps even closer to Option 2.

Aaaand HERE’s where if you’re someone who HUNGERED for me to admit wrongdoing by sticking with this theory for so long, you’re no doubt angry.  Looking at me as making excuses in the face of this long-awaited OBJECTIVE PROOF OF TOTAL THEORY DISMISSAL... WHY won’t the deluded bastard FINALLY succumb to REASON?  ANDREW HIMSELF spoke up on the issue, IS THIS NOT ENOUGH?!???

And, well... you’re right to be angry.  To be honest, I’m a fair bit pissed off too -- I could’ve used a solid “NO”, traumatizing as it would’ve been to me!

But that’s not what we got, because... *rolls eyes @ author* ...that’s not how Andrew works nowadays.  And as irritating as it is, I also have to respect it a bit.

Andrew has become pretty committed to not full-on table-flipping fan interpretations and fanworks, avoiding forcing one “correct” interpretation (see: central struggle of HS^2 and the villains labeling divergence from canon at all as “bad”) because both interpretations should be rewarded.  If something is REALLY wrong and hurts objective appreciation of the lessons he wanted to portray in his comic, like people plastering Classpect everywhere to the exclusion of the story’s central canon-escaping themes, he’s willing to shut them down... but when it comes to effective-sounding interpretations of the comic that he possibly never intended but “could” have been what he intended?  He’s REALLY careful not to step on them!  Or even sometimes DISTINGUISH them from the ones that he DID intend, sometimes, to keep as many fan interpretations alive in our imaginations as possible.

Which, as someone who pins Inversion’s entire existence on the assertion that “Andrew deliberately intended this and it’s our DELUSION otherwise”, really pisses me off at times like this.  This is a theory hinged on the idea that Andrew had been deliberately hiding INCREDIBLY clever evidence throughout the comic for these intense thematic moves.  All the SYMBOLISM we thought was pointing to inversion would lose an incredible amount of its meaning if it were all an accident.  What about all that cool imagery in the Breath and Blood post?  Did any of THAT really mean what we thought it was there for, like between WV and PM?  Was any of it REAL?  Will we ever even get an ANSWER?  The answer is “no, we won’t”, because Andrew persists in this method of keeping his cards close to his chest even if he has to take them to the damn grave, cause he knows we’ll have more “fun” not knowing ‘em.  That considerate son of a bitch.  >:(

I’m serious -- it really does make me more than a little angry.  I really do wish he’d said more to show us where we’re off-course.

But HS^2 has brought us Terezi telling us that Mind and Heart are indeed opposites.  He MIGHT be holding onto the info because we may get it later in canon itself...

Meh.  I’ll try not to hope too hard.  And I’d better clarify what I actually believe, here:

My TL;DR thoughts on Andrew’s commentary up above are that when it comes to Inversion Theory (1, 2, 3, 4, 5), he’s leaving room for some of the BIG events to have been right or almost right -- say, #1, maybe #2, and only POSSIBLY #3 or #4 -- while telling us to back off and cast SERIOUS DOUBT on stuff that could have more character-driven explanations, especially #5.

If there’s a seriously FUNDAMENTAL transformation in a character that isn’t fully explained by their character journey alone (as kids growing up), involves significant outside interference, and is reflected by countless visual cues, THEN we should want to see if Inversion Theory “has merit” in that sort of case -- while laying it up against other competing theories that account for external interference of a non-Inversion-related nature in their actions too.  Things like pre- and post-ascension Aradia or pre- and post-dreamdeath Jade seeming almost completely different characters?  Or Rose seemingly taken over by the Horrorterrors... only to do nothing to benefit them but throw her mainself at Jack and get killed so she’d be forced to ascend on the moon mission rather than God-tier-die?  I’d say Inversion is worth consideration and -- daresay -- worth believing in, in such cases.

And it still might all be wrong.  There are legitimate ways to read Andrew’s commentary above that would have people screaming that Inversion has been disproven, that the “merits” mentioned were just a nod of respect to the losing side that I’m completely overblowing.  But those seem to me like carefully ambiguous words from a carefully ambiguous man, and if there’s anyone to blame for their ambiguity, it’s Andrew.  Trust me; I don’t like it either.  He’s had plenty of practice saying things in a way that we CAN’T really draw many assumptions from.

Heck, even the Redditor transcribing this summarized their thoughts in a way that draws some assumptions I don’t believe are there:

Mostly I think it's just interesting that he's actually addressing Inversion Theory, and the gist is basically "it's a cool idea and has some merits, but the classpect system and story are not quite that formulaic." Sorry BKEW. At least we know Hussie has been paying attention to our wild theorizing.

--which is a rebuke drawn on the common interpretation that Inversion describes too “formulaic” a classpect system, especially with specific-class inversion like Seer <-> Witch and such.  But IS that what Andrew is saying? Andrew criticizes the overapplication of aspect theory in describing everyone’s actions page to page, but does that mean a quote-unquote “rigid” system (I’m not going to play out the old “specific-class-inversion-is-too-rigid” vs “youre missing the flexible potential a fixed system gives” arguments again) is ITSELF an overapplication of classpect to people’s actions and personalities? Is he perhaps hinting that only Aspect stuff mattered in Inversion cases and the Witchy Rose class stuff was just a separate thematic thing that fits by coincidence??  What does it mean? WE DON’T KNOW!  AND IT’S PISSING ME OFF AAAARGH

...I think I’ve said all I can think to say for now.

I mean, I’m glad Inversion Theory wasn’t outright disproven.  I think it’s neat.  I have a lot of emotional investment behind it, and being told it was all a worthless goose chase would have made me vomitously sick!  But as I struggled with at the end of Homestuck proper, constant ambiguity shows a fair bit of disregard of its own, and both ending AND epiloguing Homestuck not only without a “yes” on this but without even a clear “NO” has caused me more gutache and poor feelings across MONTHS than either answer ever would have given me.  I thought we’d earned that by getting through it, that we wouldn’t have to wait for YEARS and then STILL get cockteased like this.  And I wonder how much I’m going to regret, later, that this wasn’t just a clear, simple “NO”.

I’m being told there’s an upd8 just now and I should read it.  I’ll get on that.  Cy’all.

[shinneth]

SUF as a whole just left me with an empty feeling.

I feel you there, anon. In Dreams aside, I could take or leave the rest of this series (and in most cases, leaning well towards the latter sentiment). 

But I guess that’s to be expected when 90% of SUF focused squarely on Steven’s PTSD and need for therapy and the many, many red flags shown as early on as the beginning that signaled his eventual breakdown to where he ended up in the climax.

Especially with the fanbase itself constantly screeching that Steven needs therapy, Steven has PTSD, Steven’s gonna corrupt, et cetera… like, it was all laid on far too thick. So when we got to Growing Pains, it really didn’t move me like it did so many others because it came off as such a “No shit, Sherlock” moment for me when Priyanka finally addressed the underlying issues the show itself really didn’t even bother trying to be subtle about.

Don’t get me wrong; a lot of people who have suffered (or are presently suffering) from the same problems as Steven irl have been helped a lot by these kinds of episodes, and I do appreciate that.

But from my personal standpoint, yeah… I knew from the start that Steven’s underlying issues alone were not gonna be enough to sustain a full series, and sure enough, it wasn’t. We got to see some bits here and there with the other characters, but we also had a few choice characters be really shitty people in season 5 that never got properly addressed before it concluded, and with the timeskip in SUF, all of that just got handwaved off as “dealt with offscreen”, which is the laziest BS ever. 

And worst of all, at the end, they really didn’t stick the landing well at all. I’ll at least say SUF’s resolution wasn’t the mega levels of offensively terrible as Change Your Mind - but then again, it’s hard to out-do giving totalitarian space dictators with countless lives lost under their watch a fucking FACE-TURN out of nowhere. 

Like, really, the Diamonds’ presence (White especially) in SUF actively made my viewing experience even worse towards the end. Yes, I should be glad they’re establishing that the Diamonds are at least starting to use their powers for good and rebuild some of the lives they ruined.

But, y’know… doesn’t change the fact that they’re all responsible for multiple counts of global genocide. Like, any living creatures native to their colony planets? They’re still fucking gone. And the Diamonds themselves just come off VERY unnatural as “nice” guys - and in many cases, they’re even creepier now than they were as villains. Good god, White’s blubbering in the climax was fucking insufferable, though. 

Partially I think this comes from SU being a “kids show” so there’s this pressing need to end things as cleanly as possible. I’m more miffed that in the end, Steven still got pretty much everything he wanted.

They had some admittedly good set-ups to Steven’s growth, like having him accept that people grow up, change, and move on with their lives. We see the clear evidence that Steven’s got an unhealthy clinginess towards his human friends - and Connie’s no exception. 

And considering they took the time to establish that:

Connie has friends other than Steven. She gets along with them just fine, so it’s not like she’s totally lonely or isolated without him.

Connie is ambitious with many goals and aspirations when it comes to her education and potential career paths. She’s shown to have put a lot of thought into her options and at no point comes off as feeling pressured by her parents or friends into this.

Connie knows she has to work hard and often to achieve her dreams, and despite that rigid lifestyle, it doesn’t seem to bother her in the least. That would imply she really wants to reach these goals she set for herself, whether or not Steven’s in the picture at all.

Connie and Steven’s dynamic is a far cry from how it was when they started out in the original series. You can tell Steven has no clue what Connie’s talking about when it comes to her goals and just plays along, pretending he understands anything coming out of her mouth.

Connie, despite what her speech would lead you to believe, has been every bit as insufferably dense as the gems in SUF when it comes to Steven’s issues. In Bismuth Casual, Steven’s very specifically-worded concerns were misconstrued as a fear of skating (or his inability to, whatever) - and in the end, they just became Stevonnie rather than properly talked things through. You know, something PERIDOT 100% did in the prior episode.

Connie is very firm about wanting to live her life as herself. She’s not against being Stevonnie from time to time, but like hell does she want to be Stevonnie for the long term. 

Connie knows marrying in general at her age is a stupid-stupid-stupid idea, even if it is Steven. And considering her well-established commitment to her studies and reaching her lofty goals, Connie - at least at the time - seemed to know a relationship with anyone just wasn’t in the cards for her at this point in her life. There’s no need to rush that shit, and she won’t compromise her life just to give her needy friend this thing he wants that he doesn’t even fully understand truly is. 

Or, you know… just have Connie backpedal hard on a good chunk of that and date Steven so that he won’t become a monster again. I’m mostly kidding with that - but by kissing his monstrous self and that triggering his restoration, then soon later we see that even though Steven and Connie can only have a long-distance relationship at best, she’s dating him right now anyway even though this needlessly makes her life way more complicated than it needed to be - like seriously, how can I not take that as Canon Connverse being founded on the condition of “Okay, if it’ll keep you from losing your shit, going pink, and turning into a monster, I’ll date you”?!

And in the end it yet again gives Steven more-or-less exactly what he wants, even if it isn’t something he really needs. 

I’m glad Rebecca clarified that Steven would still visit Beach City often, because I had a very hard time buying him just traveling by himself on the road. And maybe it would have worked better if he was just doing it short-term to “find himself” or something along those lines, but nope! They’re basically saying this is what Steven wants to do.

And honestly, even that is dampened with his clearly-stated intention of visiting Connie way more than he intends to visit the gems. Even though Connie’s gonna be busy. With college.

This just… wasn’t a good ending. It had plenty of good moments - his goodbye to Bismuth, Lapis, and Peridot especially was very well-executed and the closest this finale came to drawing out any real emotion out of me. I loved the scene of Steven giving Greg his room; that was adorable. The last meeting with Tsundere Jasper was amusing.

But everything else… ehhh.

I mean, what can we really take from this season that I haven’t already outlined? The biggest takeaways were the plot points everyone saw coming a mile away that weren’t even executed all that well. 

In Dreams, as great at is was, might as well have not even happened - because what really carried over from that episode through to the end? Even though Peridot was the only one who got through to Steven, legitimately comforted him and addressed his fears, and the episode for once ended with Steven being happy with no underlying concerns about his problems - immediately he’s back to being awkward and depressed and frustrated by Bismuth Casual.

And I get that shit like trauma shouldn’t be resolved so easily, but for what In Dreams accomplished, I expected there to at least be a semblance of progress. Steven’s known since that episode he can hang out with Peridot and talk to her about whatever without needing a reason to do it, but he never ever takes her up on that again. 

So again, what was the point? 

You really get the impression that the quality of writing took a backseat just to emphasize the symbolism of an issue people commonly have, but SUF’s execution stretched my suspension of disbelief far beyond its limits. 

And nothing stretched that farther than Connie’s insufferable fucking speech in I Am My Monster; that pretty much completely made In Dreams feel like it never really happened in SUF’s continuity. 

In some ways, I just prefer to believe In Dreams was just a dream itself. An AU offshoot in SUF itself. Considering it’s so ridiculously good compared to the other nineteen episodes and by far the most pure and wholesome, maybe that’s the best way to see it. 

In Dreams was too good for its own series. That’s literally the only thing I personally took from SUF as a whole (at least in terms of lasting impact). 

So yeah, I guess for only one episode of twenty to really hit me in the feels, “empty” is an apt way to describe the series, anon. 

Seriously, if I didn’t have my own massive SU-AU to mess around in and do things properly, this probably would have upset me more. 

Instead, I just chuckle at Rebecca’s Monster Steven and raise her to what I’m putting my version of Steven through in my current story. Where I’m pulling all the stops to make other characters matter even though the stars are undoubtedly Peridot and Steven. 

And I’m actually making actions yield serious, lasting consequences.

(yeah, part of me wishes Jasper wasn’t revived - or alternatively, have Steven accidentally shatter White Diamond instead of Jasper since he came awfully close in canon

or even better, shatter Jasper and revive her, then accidentally shatter White and not be able to revive her since Steven used up ALL that diamond essence on Jasper…

yeah I’m kind of a monster)

Your pain is mutually felt, anon. So I’ll prescribe you endless refills of better-written and better-executed SU fanon to heal the emptiness SUF left inside you.

[thoughtfullyyoungduck]

Not your fault

A/N: so I did my best to make this as accurate as possible, but if its not then I would like to say I’m sorry! If anyone has any requests please feel free to send them in! 

Summary: Bill, Stan and Richie have a fight with their daughter present. 

Bill’s hand in his did nothing to calm Stan down. Stan was, to put it simply, seething. Richie and their daughter were laughing, but Stan couldn’t help but grimace. The seven year old was seated on Richie’s lap, while Richie was rocking the both of them back and forth. Emily, the name of the young girl, was giggling like her life depended on it. Her smile was bright and radiant and Stan begrudgingly had to admit that she as having the time of her life. Still, it wasn’t enough to take Stan’s mind of the fact that Richie had not listened to the agreement that was made between them and Bill.

The latter was sitting with his legs crossed on the side of the couch, his lips stretched into a wide and unhesitating smile reaching his arm out behind Emily, just in case Richie leaned forward too much, and she fell. Stan gripped the newspaper stronger in his hands, he needed to have a word with both Bill and Richie, but he was responsible enough to realize that the conversation was not one they needed to have in front of their daughter. Emily’s wavy black hair were swooped up and down, each time Richie leaned forward again.

Stan couldn’t handle it. The constant back and forth was driving him crazy, he needed peace and quit and order, for some reason the rocking made his skin crawl. Still, when Emily’s green eyes focused on his, Stan’s lips too turned into a smile, displaying all his love for her.

In the two years she had been with the family, Stan, nor Bill or Richie had even been mad at her. It was something about her, that made you forget all your worries and just focus solely on her.

She hadn’t done anything either, Stan was mad at Richie, and maybe even a little at Bill, but not at Emily.

She smiled back and reached her arms out towards Stan, and Stan without question put his newspaper down and opened his arms to sweep her into them. He kissed her forehead, a habit he developed right after she moved in, and tucked her tightly into his chest. Just having her this close made some of the tension in his shoulders disappear. His shoulder dropped down, and the insistent feeling of anger started to melt away.

‘Go on little songbird,’ Stan said, ‘why don’t you go play in the garden for a bit? I’ll make you a snack in a few minutes.’

Stan had nicknamed her songbird, because the little girl was always muttering along to every song she heard. And because the three of them had such a different taste in music, she knew lots of song.

She nodded and squeezed him tight one last time, ‘okay papa’, her adorable voice called out.

Without pausing for even a second she jumped of Stan. She always did this, she had so much energy that she always jumped into things headfirst, which was surprising considering she was more of an introvert. There was, of course nothing wrong with this. They just found it funny that she could be so timid, yet so brave at the same time.

Stan could still remember the first time they had met. Emily had been 5 at the time, and she had been really quite.

Bill was the one who had brought adoption up, on the anniversary of Georgie’s disappearance. Stan had been on board right away, without even considering the fact that adopting with three people was not the most easy thing to do. Richie had agreed aswell, even though he seemed the most hesitant out of the three. They had had many conversation, most of them late at night when nobody could sleep or a nightmare woke them up.

They had agreed to adopt, not to foster. It was Stan who made that decision, naturally with the agreement of both Richie and Bill. Stan had the upmost respect for foster parents, but he couldn’t see himself do it, he doesn’t think that he could ever put all of his attention and love into a child, only for them to be taken away again.

After it was decided that they would adopt the next problem arrived. Which two would be the official foster parents? There had been lots of discussions, because at the end of the day, the person who wouldn’t be on the official document of adoption, had legally no say in anything regarding the child. Which meant that it would take a lot of trust and devotion to be the odd parent out.

Eventually it was Richie and Bill who would be the two adopting, and Stan would be the unofficial parent. They all agreed that nothing would be decided without the consent of all three the parents, and so Stan trusted Richie and Bill enough to know that official or not wouldn’t change a thing.

They confirmed their relationship at the adoption center, because their relationship was not something they wanted to keep secret from their baby. The adoption center was understanding and accepting, and was all in all an amazing support system. It had been a subject for discussion

Stan, Bill and Richie didn’t care which age they adopted, nor did they care if it was a boy or girl. Based on their interests and personality traits they were shown a group of children, but for some reason, Emily caught the attention of all three of them right away.

The first meeting with Emily went a lot better that Stan had thought it would. He had been so nervous, especially because Emily would have to be okay with having three parents, but she was the kindest and accepting child that Stan had ever met.

She had looked up at them with her innocent eyes, green like a forest where it has just rained with brown spots, furthering Stan’s point that there was a forest to discover in her eyes. She had smiled a shy smile and waved, hiding part of her face behind her hair. Bill, Richie and Stan instantly fell in love.

During their conversation she kept sneaking glances up at Richie, which Bill took notice off immediately. Bill bumped Richie with his shoulder, and gestured at the child when she did it again, so Richie would notice too. He then crouched down to her height and smiled, opening his mount to make a joke. She beat him too it though, ‘aren’t you that funny and weird man from tv’? Stan had never laughed so hard.

It was in their third time getting together that she finally asked why they were always coming together, all three of them, while all her friends had two parents.

‘It’s cause we all love each other so much, we didn’t want too choose. Our love is so big, that we have to share it with the three of us.’ Bill had explained to her. He had looked almost pale, because at this point the all had become attached to Emily, and they wanted to take her home.

The only reaction Emily had was shrugging her shoulders, her smile not wavering for a second before letting out a timid; ‘okay, that’s so cool’, with wonder in her voice. Stan came to the conclusion the he was never letting this little girl go.

And he had been right, only 3 months later Emily came to live with them.

Her bedroom had a window looking down onto the massive garden they had, full of trees and Birdbaths for Stan. Once they got notice of Emily coming to live with them, they had also placed a bright red swing set.

The color of her walls was purple, which Emily had chosen herself. She had a two persons bed with the band Queens on the covers because, courtesy of Richie, Emily had learned to love the band. She had a bureau, a table for her to draw, a wooden closet, tons of her toys neatly placed in a corner and a bean bag near the window. When she saw her room for the first time, she had started crying. Granted, the room was huge, but still. With both Bill and Richie being famous, and Stan not being short on cash either, they could afford anything the little girl wanted.

Stan had though that Richie would be the one to grant Emily anything she asked for her, but t his surprise, it was actually Bill who couldn’t say no to anything. He suspected that it was because of Georgie, and Emily certainly wasn’t spoiled, but Stan and Richie still told Bill that he needed to set boundaries, because that’s what parents are supposed to do.

After only 5 months she started calling Stan papa, Richie dad and Bill pops. Richie would never admit it, but he started crying when she called him dad for the first time.  

After two years, Stan couldn’t imagine living without Emily at all. He had never been so happy, and he felt like his life was complete. He could tell that Bill and Richie felt the same way. Bill wrote children books sometimes, only for Emily’s eyes, so he could read it to her and see her face light up as he told her he only wrote it for her. Richie would tell her jokes all the time, and play with her in the park and their garden. Stan was the parent that provided the food and practiced with Emily on her hobbies, which included singing. Stan would kill Richie if that video ever made it to the internet.

On the other hand, that didn’t stop days like this from happening. Days where fights happened, and Stan felt like screaming into a pillow.

‘You said that we would never make any decisions without consulting the others first’. Stan’s voice called out harshly, as soon as Emily had left the room.

Bill, who was still holding Stan’s hand squeezed, a silent plea to stop the fight before it even broke out. Stan ignores this, shaking his head quickly.

‘Stan, please don’t make this a big deal, it was just a stupid school outing.’ Richie groaned, his teeth already clenched together. A sure sign to Stan that Richie too was getting worked up.

‘Guys, stop it. You two are adults, don’t turn this into a fight.’ Bill tried, ever the negotiator. He hated fights, they often reminded him of his parents fighting after Georgie’s dead. Stan knows this, but still he can’t just let this go. He still feels the anger burning inside of him, even though he knows that Richie is right, it is just a stupid school outing.

In the beginning of the week Emily had come home with a permission slip, to go to a school outing for an overnight stay-away at the zoo. Stan hadn’t wanted her to go, he used the excuse of it not being clean there, but in reality he wasn’t ready to let his little songbird go for such a long time yet. He knew it was stupid, but he couldn’t help himself.

Richie and Bill had wanted to let her go, but because it had been a busy week they decided to discuss it on Friday. That had been the plan, only Richie had decided to already sign her permission. Emily had been begging to let her go, and Richie had just wanted to her to be happy.

‘it’s not about the stupid outing Richie’. Stan cried out, and despite being composed most of the time, Stan had to fight back the tears threatening to escape.

‘Well then what is it about Stanley’? Richie rebuked with a glare on his face.

‘It’s about the fact that you can make that decision and I don’t’. Stan lamented, while he felt bill’s hand beginning to shake.

In an instant the anger on Richie’s face melted away, replaced by  a look of guilt.

‘I know that we made this decision together, but I can’t help but feel like you guys aren’t willing to take my opinion into consideration, I would have let her go you know. I love her too much to let her waste this fun opportunity, but you still let her go without listening to me, and that hurts Rich, I’m just as much her dad as you are.’ Stan heaves without taking a breath.

He can feel Bill shuffle closer and wrap an arm around him, even Richie coming to join him.

‘I’m sorry Stan. You’re right, I should have listened to you. Not to mention that I should have waited for us to make the decision together. I’m really sorry, I just wanted to make her happy s’all.’ Richie mutters, pressing a kiss to Stan’s head.

Stan opens his mouth to respond, but before he can another voice, this time a timid sound calls out.

‘I’m sorry papa, I didn’t mean to make you fight’. Emily is standing in the door opening, clutching her teddy bear in her hands. Her eyes are filled with tears and she’s squeezing the neck of her teddy bear so tight, Stan is worried for a second that she will rip it’s head off.

Stan lifts his head from where he had placed his head on Richie’s shoulder. He instantly feels guilty, a feeling that spreading like a wildfire through his body. Bill opens his arms and sobbing Emily run into them.

‘It’s okay sweetheart this has nothing to do with you. Grownups fight sometimes, doesn’t mean they don’t love each other’. Bill whispers to her, while she tucks away her head in his neck.

‘pops is right songbird, Daddy and I just had a little fight. That is not your fault though, nor should you worry about that.’ Stan replies calmly placing his hand on her back, softly sweeping back and forth.

In the meanwhile Richie gets up again from besides Stan, and crouches down in front of Emily, just like he had done the first time around. He reaches for her hand and kisses the back of it, making Emily giggle like the funniest thing just happened.

‘Let’s do something fun, the three of us. How does that sound baby’? Richie asks, and Stan can’t help but laugh at the exiting nod it entrances from their daughter.

[michelles-garden-of-evil]

Episode 33 Review: The Gentle Zombie

{ Not available on YouTube }

{ Synopses: Debby Graham | Bryan Gruszka }

{ Screencaps }

And now, following our over-4,000-word-long sojourn into the eerie, isolated estate of San Rafael on Tuesday, we at last return to the even eerier and even more isolated locale of Maljardin, THE DEVIL JACQUES ELOI DES MONDES’ Garden of Evil! *sting*

Once again, Colin Fox has the day off to recover from his spinal injury the year before, meaning we get another Foxless episode. Unlike some of the previous Foxless episodes, however, this one is a real treat. We get the first centered around the mysterious Quito, Jean Paul Desmond’s silent manservant, Raxl’s closest companion, and owner of the adorable Chalcko, mascot of this blog. We also finally get payoff for my least favorite Maljardin-era subplot, the saga of the Holly portrait--which, if you ask me, is long overdue--and it’s good.

The Lost Episode summary for this episode indicates that it was always intended to focus on Quito. As usual, the Cleveland Plain Dealer provides the most detailed and best summary (and I am not at all biased, despite living in Cleveland):

Source: Cleveland Plain Dealer (October 24, 1969). The “Repeat” part is a misprint, as the episode only aired once on WKBF.

Interestingly, we already saw Quito give Holly the gift of a sparkling stone three episodes ago in the aired version of Episode 30. For whatever reason, the executives and/or Ian Martin himself decided to have this event occur earlier in the series’ timeline, possibly with its original importance to the overarching story decreased. The second sentence of this summary, however, remains accurate, as you will find in this review.

Quito kissing the cryonics capsule.

The episode begins with Quito visiting Erica Desmond's capsule and bringing more flowers for her. Both the way he kisses the capsule and the fact that Jean Paul doesn’t make him give Erica flowers show that he, like Raxl, truly loves her.

After leaving the crypt, he visits the Great Hall following a painting/bickering/recap scene between Tim and Holly, to stare at the portrait of Erica--or, rather, the roughest possible approximation of her appearance, because Jean Paul has done everything in his power to make Tim’s project as difficult and frustrating as possible for him (see also my post on Episode 24). A drum pounds for suspense, he turns to face the portrait, and, just as he reaches out to touch it,

HE COLLAPSES!

Fortunately, Alison and Dan come in from outside at just the right moment for her to check his pulse. She believes him dead at first because he has no heartbeat, but then hears him breathing despite him continuing to have no pulse. She concludes, much to pragmatic lawyer Dan’s shock, that Quito must be a zombie as he once said (this is another instance where I can’t recall which episode, unfortunately).

This is what the Holly portrait looks like now, by the way.

A close-up of the face. Still looks approximately halfway between Holly’s face and Erica’s in Tim’s original sketch of her.

They leave Holly and Tim alone with Quito while they go to the lab (in Alison’s case) and the crypt to search for the missing cyanide (in Dan’s), when they hear Holly scream! Dan, who was so close to making friends with Chalcko, bolts upstairs to find the mysterious servant previously thought to be dead (un-undead?) has once again come alive. He starts to pursue Holly, but Alison stops him, so he turns around and tears the cover off the Holly portrait. “Is it Holly, or my sister Erica?” she asks herself out loud. “I can’t tell!”

The rest of this scene suggests that perhaps Quito, too, can’t tell, or at least sees too much of Erica in Holly to ignore. Most likely, that’s why he’s drawn to her and waits on her as though he were her servant as well as that of Jean Paul and Erica. Dan attributes Quito’s fainting to the shock of seeing a portrait that so captures Erica’s likeness that the uncanny resemblance between her and Holly frightens him.

Two and a half months ago, Curt of the Maljardin Blog wrote that the production crew did not cast an actress to play Erica at the beginning of the show, as evidenced by their use of crew member Lara Cochrane to play Erica’s corpse in Episodes 1 and 4. But now I wonder, what if Ian Martin originally intended for Sylvia Feigel to play Erica as well as Holly, given his frequent mention of their alleged resemblance? It seems like an odd decision, especially because I believe that Sylvia was originally destined for a dual role as both Holly and the blonde girl whom Tarasca sacrificed in her nightmare. But, if Sylvia Feigel was supposed to portray the living Erica, would that mean that Erica’s past incarnation was not Jacques’ wife Huaco, but the sacrificed girl? It wouldn’t make sense for Erica’s past counterpart to be her instead of Huaco, unless he decided to also give Sylvia her role, which would have made her Huaco’s third actress. But this is all extremely unlikely, especially because such a quadruple role seems like far too much for a single arc of a live-action series. Even Dark Shadows didn’t make its actors play four roles in the same arc.

All right. Enough of a theory that I myself don’t completely believe, even if it is possible (if improbable) that Ian Martin intended it. Matt-- who, naturally, hurried down the steps when he heard his stalkee screaming--thinks that the reason why Quito fainted upon touching the portrait was because he "sees something of Erica Desmond in [Holly]." I believe there’s more to it than that, though. There must be something supernatural going on that made him faint, something like Erica’s ghost exerting her power over him. But they never did explain this bit, so--like most of this show--it’s up to interpretation.

Tim: “Quito, I thought you were dead!”

Quito touches the portrait and then his heart. “Only Raxl can tell what he’s trying to tell us,” Matt claims, but Alison, too, understands the message. Quito, whom Dan calls “a soulless man,” loves Holly.

This horrifies Holly even more than Matt’s affections. She shouts “NO!” and Quito retreats to the crypt. She throws a fit, disgusted by the thought of “a monster who lunges at people” wanting a romance with her, and even accuses him of pushing her down the staircase, even though Quito was in the temple at the time.

For the Serpent’s sake, Reverend Stalker, leave her alone! The last thing she needs is your “comfort” when we know that what you really want is to get in her pants!

Holly: “Drag, drag, drag, the Reverend Matthew Drag!”

I’m dying of laughter at this terrible line.

Dan suggests that, if Jean Paul can’t bring Erica back to life, he may decide to replace her with Holly. We know that Jean Paul would never do that, but that his ancestor Jacques almost certainly would--at least once he got bored with his lovely witch Elizabeth/Tarasca. (I’m still not convinced, though, that he doesn’t want to make her sacrifice Holly, either just for fun or so that she--and, after their marriage, he--can get her fortune.)

Tim begs to differ about the painting’s resemblance to Erica, once again lampshading the absurdity of the whole situation. You have an artist painting a portrait of a dead woman, using a living one as his model who may or may not resemble the show’s current image of Erica Desmond. He took on this commission to save his life, but, now that he is on Maljardin, he’s in more danger than he ever was while the Mafia was pursuing him. And now a zombie passes out, and the other characters blame it on Erica’s likeness to Holly, which Tim must know is a completely ridiculous explanation. I’m telling you, someone’s spirit--either Erica’s or Jacques’--made him collapse. And if it was the latter, most likely Jacques intended to kill him a second time.

Quito in the crypt.

I want to shift focus now to the subject of zombies and their portrayal on SP, as well as what we know of Quito’s past. This section will contain references to slavery and suicide, so, if those subjects trigger you, you may wish to skip ahead to the next section, beginning with another copy of the photo of Quito looking into Chalcko’s birdcage.

Before I got into SP, I was long predisposed to dislike zombies because of the clichéd way that most horror movies and shows depict them: namely, as mindless creatures focused solely on eating human brains. Hordes of walking corpses who go on living only to consume and destroy are a useful metaphor for the effects of things like consumerism and social media addiction, but they don’t make for interesting characters; in fact, they make for rather dull ones, in my (highly unpopular) opinion.

But Quito was shown from early on to be a very different kind of zombie, almost the opposite of the Dawn of the Dead type. We see hints as early as Episode 12 that he has thoughts and feelings and now we have confirmation that he even has the capacity for love. He appears mindless, soulless, and unfeeling to some other characters, but those who know him well like Raxl and Jean Paul know that, despite his silence and his undead state, he has a mind, a personality, and even a heart. It doesn’t hurt that Kurt Schiegl gives Quito a great deal of expression and personality through his body language; we may not know exactly what thoughts are going through Quito’s mind, but we can get an idea. (And he never once expresses an interest in eating brains, which is another plus.)

The reason why Quito is so different from most modern portrayals of zombies is because he is based on an earlier conception of who zombies are and how they are created. In the traditional beliefs of Haitian Vodou, a zombie is created when a Vodou sorcerer or bokor resurrects a corpse to serve as his personal slave. While there are many theories as to when these legends originated, the most likely theory (which Mike Mariani argues in The Atlantic) is that they began during the period of French colonialism. During this period, which stretched from 1625 to the Haitian Revolution at the turn of the 19th century, most of the population of the island of Hispaniola (then known as Sainte-Domingue) was enslaved on sugar plantations, which required back-breaking, often deadly labor. This, combined with the other indignities of slavery, drove many enslaved Africans living there to commit suicide in an effort to return to their home countries. The idea that those who ended their own lives would be stuck on Sainte-Domingue eternally as zombies came about as a way or Haitians to discourage suicide. “Death was better than slavery for many – the suicide rate among Haitian slaves was very high. It was bad to be a slave,” Amy Wilentz writes in her review of the Vice documentary I Walked with a Zombie. “Worse would be to die and discover that, rather than returning to Africa, you continued to be enslaved as a dead person, run by a master, doing his bidding – and this is the fear that created the ‘Americo-normative’ zombie, as we know him.”

According to Mariani’s article, zombies did not become associated with bokors until after Haiti won its independence and subsequently abolished the institution of slavery. He calls this “the post-colonialism zombie, the emblem of a nation haunted by the legacy of slavery and ever wary of its reinstitution...The zombies of the Haitian Voodoo religion were a more fractured representation of the anxieties of slavery, mixed as they were with occult trappings of sorcerers and necromancy.” Wilentz associates this with “the fear of re-enslavement,” for “no one wanted to be dead, consciousness-less, and working for free for a master,” especially in a country that had fought so hard to rid itself of its shackles.

The show canon for Strange Paradise has not given--and will not give--much information about Quito’s backstory. What we do know is that he is a native of somewhere near Maljardin, descended from an indigenous Central American culture related to the Aztecs, and that was alive during the same period as Raxl. He was Jacques’ “servant” (more likely a slave) in the 17th century and, at some point before Jacques’ death, became a zombie. We also know from his reaction to the Conjure Man’s name in Episode 13 that the Conjure Man did something to him at some point that traumatized him, which may or may not have included the spell.

The Paperback Library novel Island of Evil, however, gets far more detailed about Quito’s backstory and shows his transformation into one of the undead. In the novel, Jacques forces Raxl to relive a particularly painful memory from the 17th century in order to coerce her into doing his bidding in the then-present. In her memory, Raxl visits the pregnant and bedridden Huaco des Mondes during a dinner party, although Jacques has forbidden them from meeting with each other. When he catches her returning from Huaco’s room, Jacques gets revenge on Raxl by stabbing Quito (who is her husband in the books) and then forces an African Vodou priest whom he recently purchased to resurrect him for his guests’ entertainment.[1] It’s worth noting that, like the zombies of Haitian folklore, the Vodou priest tells Raxl not to allow Quito to consume salt: “Should he eat either [salt or meat],” he says, “he will know he is a dead man.”[2] Thus the book canon connects Quito both to the horrors of slavery in the colonial-era Caribbean and to early zombie folklore, before zombies became the brain-eating monsters they are usually portrayed as today.

Quito checking on his adorable bird. Curt recently mentioned the possible connection between Chalcko, Huaco (Jacques’ “pigeon”), and Erica (Raxl’s “little bird”) in a post on his Tumblr, which was a piece of possible symbolism that had never occurred to me until then.

Dan reveals to Matt that Jean Paul has a Stanford-Binet IQ of 187. I’m noting this only because I’ve referenced it before in regards to Jean Paul’s alleged intelligence juxtaposed with his tendency to make stupid decisions. He may have an IQ of 187, but that only applies to his book smarts, not to common sense decisions like the knowledge that you should never make a deal with the Devil unless you are absolutely certain that the Devil won’t screw you over, or that you can defeat him through loopholes or some other, similar means. Even the smartest people--even those with an IQ of 187--can be manipulated, and that is true of Jean Paul, whom THE DEVIL JACQUES ELOI DES MONDES has successfully outsmarted. I wonder if he even suspects that Jacques has no intention on bringing Erica back to life, as he revealed fourteen episodes ago?

Holly talking to the cryonics capsule.

At the end of the episode, Holly visits the crypt to talk to Erica’s capsule. “ Mrs. Desmond,” she says, her hands on the capsule, “I want to say something to you. I don't know if you can hear or not, but I'm so afraid. I’m afraid of Quito, I’m afraid of my mother, and also of the Reverend. Mrs. Desmond, I’m so afraid somebody wants to kill me. But not your husband. I love him the way I love my father, but I'm so lost and so alone. Please help me...I want to know what it was that Quito and they saw in the picture.” 

Quito catches her talking to the capsule and approaches her, his arms outstretched. “No, please!” Holly pleads, finally screaming and running from him, leaving the zombie with a heart alone in the crypt.

Upstairs, Holly calls for everyone to “see what you’ve done,” and the camera cuts to the portrait, which now bears a slash across the middle:

The end of the ill-fated saga of the Holly portrait.

“There is your spirit of love,” she cries, “or is it hate?” Alison, Matt, Dan, and Tim stare on, shocked and appalled by the slashed portrait and forever unaware of the identity of the culprit. The episode implies that the responsible party is Jacques Eloi des Mondes by showing a shot of his portrait glowing shortly before this scene, but this episode’s trivia on StrangeParadise.net indicates someone else. As with the trivia for Episode 30, it has to do with plot points that ultimately remained unexplained on the show, but nevertheless contains spoilers for the true nature of one character, so read at your own risk.

The first time since the pilot that Jacques’ portrait has glowed.

Coming up next: The characters react to the slashing of the portrait and we learn a telling bit of backstory about Elizabeth Marshall.

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Notes

[1] Dorothy Daniels, Island of Evil (New York: Paperback Library, 1970), pp. 92-99. I will cover this book and the other two Paperback Library novels in more detail in a future series of posts.

[2] Ibid., p. 100.