#(this is also just me complaining about a family member)

[coquelicoq]

did i tell u guys about how my family, who have been lukewarm at best and vaguely antagonistic at worst about using they/them pronouns for my nonbinary sibling, did a complete 180 upon learning that my sibling is also good with she/her...like i can't even tell you how hard it's been to get them to even just try to use they/them and then they hear she/her and a switch is flipped in their brains that goes "you are an asshole actually" and all of a sudden my mom is buying PROTECT TRANS KIDS t-shirts and my grandmother's apologizing to me when she messes up. okay i'm glad you got there eventually but if this capability was inside you all along i don't understand why you couldn't have been doing this with the they/them set. like my grandmother told me a couple years ago that she wasn't even going to make an effort because she was probably going to die soon (<-completely made up excuse; obviously any of us could die at any time, and she is old, but she's in good health and her mother lived to be 100) and therefore wouldn't be seeing my sibling often enough for it to matter??? but she/her is worth the effort where they/them was not, apparently. like again i can't complain about the outcome but i am very much complaining about how we got here. what even is this.

[fingertipsmp3]

Ughhhhhhh I hate writing and I hate not writing and I hate myself

[jammmbi]

god i need therapy and to move out

[linabirb]

i think i should get paid for waking up every day with the worst chest pain ever and having to deal with a family that just goes "but you don't have to go outside anymore!! you don't have to go anywhere!! you're fine!!" and when i say that i'm tired of taking my meds bc even though they help me they also remind me that there's something wrong with me my family goes "oh maybe you should stop taking all your meds then :)" like THAT'S NOT THE POINT.

[zemnarihah]

priests should not fucking go by father outside of church settings like that is so inappropriate imo i am not fucking calling you father ever ever ever

[thefeistydragon]

Normally I will tip delivery people no matter what, but if the way you're taking shortcuts on the job is endangering disabled people, especially my family, and making their lives harder? Especially if it's directly risking sending them to the hospital? You're not acting in solidarity with us, so I'm not about to act on solidarity with you. I know how hard customer service like that it but it's no excuse to make life hell for people who already have it hard enough.

[soysaucevictim]

For real though... learning some Tico/Tiquismos stuff while writing this thing has been a delight and a fun challenge, you know?

All because I chose the Spanish surname "Espinoza" (because the Begotten!Twins are thorny as hell, and it suits them) and looking up where that name was very common. Honed in on Costa Rica for the twins' dad.

I'm glad I'm at least aware of dialects being a thing.

(And none of the racist, imperialist, classist BS from my grandpa thinking there's such a thing as academic/perfect Spanish. That anything outside of that arbitrary, practically non-existent dialect, is just fucking slang/wrong.)

[ko-eko-ev-go-ms]

Smth I think about sometimes is how like, I do so much stuff to overcompensate my struggles with various things, but generally I don’t acknowledge that I’m doing outside things to overcompensate or if I do I don’t get into specifics.

And then because of that like even if I tell people I’m struggling with x thing they just won’t believe me sometimes coz they didn’t see/listen to me doing work on my own time.

Even if I’m already underperforming they won’t understand how much effort it was taking JUST TO UNDERPERFORM.

But then if I make any progress or aren’t the literal worst it’s all swept under the rug as if it’s easy for me and I just wasn’t working hard enough the whole time or something?

[navree]

still on this, the thing that makes markey in particular so galling to me is that he's done NOTHING. he's been in politics for as long as my mother has been alive (my mother is in her fifties) and the only thing he has in his record in terms of tangible achievements is some bill from twenty to thirty years ago that makes it harder for poor people to have internet (in stark contrast to joe's proven bonafides and progressive record but shrug dot emoji). he's accomplished nothing meaningful, his win was based entirely on vibes that children decided he had and taylor lorenz's moronically credulous brain tried to pretend was smart politics, and promises that he immediately turned his back on the second the primary was over. he barely spends time in MA, if it weren't for joe trying to primary him he wouldn't have been in that state at all for the entire calendar year considering he lives in maryland. he's emblematic of everything people claim they hate about politics and careerism, but because he did the right lip service and sponsored one bill with aoc back before her brain developed, a bunch of kids who barely understand how government works went all in on using the internet to pretend he was this leftist king who would be the bernie of a new era and were surprised when a man who voted for the hyde amendment and stood by it even in 2020 and continuously famously doesn't back down on any bad decision he made continued to have the same stances he's had for the last fifty fucking years. fuck him, fuck the 'markeyverse', i'm so glad it basically immediately ouroborosed itself and that they're all useless and can't ever interfere in an election ever again.

calling the markey haters

[dalishious]

Dragon Age: The Veilguard’s Familiar Faces and Factions

The trailer for Dragon Age: The Veilguard has dropped, and I couldn’t be more excited. It’s like a new breath of life has entered my lungs!

Within the trailer, we now have confirmation of who our seven companions are going to be, and among them are a few familiar faces from the book Dragon Age: Tevinter Nights. We also have some name-droppings of a couple factions featured in the same book and the comics, Dragon Age: The Missing. So, here is what knowledge is established about these faces sand factions.

Neve Gallus & The Shadow Dragons

Neve Gallus was first introduced in the Tevinter Nights story, “The Streets of Minrathous”. She comes off as a no-nonsense and a little intense kind of person. Neve is a Tevinter mage who works as a private investigator. For example, if someone wants some detective work done but doesn’t want the public to know, they would hire Neve. On occasion, she’s even been hired by the templars, who act like just regular cops in Tevinter – and yes, that includes their corruption and primary goal of simply protecting the elite – but Neve prefers to work alone because of that corruption, and has a personal grudge against the order for taking bribes to cover up crimes.

Neve has a prosthetic leg below the knee, made of dwarven-crafted metal.

In The Missing, Neve says she is friends with the Shadow Dragons. In the article shared by EA, as of The Veilguard, she is officially a member. The Shadow Dragons are a group of concerned Tevinter citizens who help those in need. This includes supporting escaped slaves, for example.

Emmrich Volkahrin

Emmrich Volkahrin was first introduced in the Tevinter Nights story, “Down Among the Dead Men”. He is a necromancer from Nevarra, and therefore naturally a member of the Mortalitasi – specifically, a professor in the Mourn Watch. The Watchers serve as elite guardians of the Grand Necropolis. Emmrich is on the eccentric side, personality-wise, but kindly and informal.

Emmrich has a skeleton assistant name of Manfred, who helps him with different office tasks. He also has friends in Myrna, a fellow Watcher, and Audric, a dead guardsmen who looks after the library.

Lucanis Dellamorte

Lucanis Dellamorte was first introduced in the Tevinter Nights story, “The Wigmaker Job”. He is the favourite grandson of Caterina Dellamorte, First Talon (leader) of the Antivan Crows. As such, he was raised from birth to be the perfect assassin in a ruthless and torturous environment, knowing only cruelty from his family. This has led to him feeling less like a person and more like a living weapon – and he is treated like one by everyone who knows of him. He has “the Demon” as a nickname.

I know a few people are curious about the “mage killer” title in the trailer. Rest assured that Lucanis specifically kills evil blood mages. In his own words: “If someone wants to pay me top coin to kill a bunch of racist blood mages—who have it coming—I’m not going to complain.”

Where his cousin Illario has a “silver tongue” as Lucanis puts it, he himself is a lot blunter. His reputation of a killer is spotless, except for one small problem: He has a heart under all that black leather.

Lucanis and Illario get along quite well, except for the fact that Lucanis is destined to be the next First Talon, after Caterina dies. Illario wants the job far more than Lucanis, but Lucanis isn’t sure he’s capable of making a decision for himself that goes against the wishes of the Crows.

The Veil Jumpers

The Veil Jumpers were first introduced in The Missing #3. They are a group made up of primarily Dalish elves, though also inclusive of other folks of any walks of life willing to help, working to try and control the new threats within Arlathan Forest. The forest has become a ground of chaotic magic, with the Veil so thin that time and place is jumbled together. Thus, the Veil Jumpers move in and out of the spots that bleed into one another.

The Veil Jumpers do have a headquarters called “The Sanctum”, but we know nothing else about it.

The Lords of Fortune

Despite the Lords of Fortune being mentioned in more than one Tevinter Nights story, as well as the show Dragon Age: Absolution, we don’t know a lot about them. The only concrete information provided is that they are a loose group of people who collect trinkets and glory. They come out of Rivain. They typically wear a lot of their collected trinkets like badges of honour. That’s really all there is, so I can’t wait to learn more.

[ew-selfish-art]

DPxDC Au: Normally when Danny vandalizes ancient cave walls and historic places on his 'favor' missions for Clockwork, he gets sent back to erase them. But no, apparently this time, when Danny added his actual phone number into some painting, he's not allowed to go back and fix it. Ugh.

...

Tim has had the painting of Bruce professionally reviewed a few times since the old Bat was retrieved from the time stream. He's not entirely sure how the painting still exists, he's not even sure that it matters any more... But one day Tim catches something new in the painting.

It was small, and it could've just been the light at first but... Is that a phone number in the background?? It looks like black marker on the black curtains and it makes him feel feral. The family is kinder this time about how they think he's gone crazy- but each one of them admit that they can't remember a phone number ever being present.

The lab reports that the number was added over the paint- and that it's an ink based marking akin to a sharpie but like, hundreds of years old. So... It's been added recently but not at all recently enough for Tim to have an explanation.

Tim doesn't want to hear any more of his family members opinions on the matter and he certainly isn't going to just, stop investigating or something stupid like that. So, he takes the painting to the tower, gathers his team (Cassie, Kon and Bart), and they call the number in the middle of the night after a lot of planning/back-and-forth/catastrophizing.

It doesn't answer until the final ring, and the static that comes through the phone is bone chilling. A deep, monstrous groan which echoed with agony fills the room.

"I have a math test in like, three hours, who the fuck are you and why the fuck are you calling in the middle of the night?" The voice now complains, still sounding vaguely inhuman despite it's very human word choices.

"Your number is in a historical painting, we had a few questions but uh, you can call us back later?" Tim cringes as he says it but he hadn't planned on having to reply to someone trying to go back to bed. Or someone who was apparently also a teenager. (He had so, so many contingency plans for like, every kind of villain, alien or demon. lame.)

"...Ugh. might as well." The voice calls out, agreeing with a sigh that echos so deeply the team can feel it in their bones.

"Cool. Good luck on your test?" Tim offers.

"Mph." And the line hangs up.

...

Danny is at lunch with Sam and Tucker when he remembers the late night call. He'd spent the morning bitching about never getting a full night of sleep and it finally occurred to him what had happened. Of course his friends think it's hilarious that CW wouldn't let him erase his number. Of course they do.

They stop laughing when Danny calls the number back.

"Hello, this is Red Robin of Gotham. I have Superboy, Wonder girl and Impulse present with me. How did your math test go?"

[fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-liar]

"wow haha this man is 5'6 look at how short he is" meri behen he's Indian

[mlyscha]

↳ "DAFUC" ⭑

𝓼ynopsis. in which you came across a trend where you say "dafuc" after every single sentence that comes out of your mouth. 𝓹airing. enha!member x female!reader 𝓰enre. fluff, crack, trendy. 𝔀arnings. obvious curse words, not proofread and just sunghoon, sunoo and riki with their side eye thing lol. 𝔀𝓬. 1,6k+ 𝓶asterlist.

♡ 𝓪melie's 𝓷ote: oh my god. oh my god oh my gooooddd thank you guys for all the support on my last posts◝(ᵔᗜᵔ)◜i'm so happy and thankful <3 also, i've never had crumbl cookie before so idk if riki's part is accurate or not but... 😜

― 𝓱eeseung: the confused yet amused one.

"okay, so, my boyfriend is gonna rate these sylvanian families i got this week, dafuc," you spoke to the camera while holding a small box filled with the little cute characters. heeseung nodded to the camera, waving at it. "alright, pick one from this box and rate them," "okay-" "dafuc!" "wha... okay, this one is... a rabbit..?" you nodded. "yes, it is," "um... i'll rate this a..." "dafuc!" your boyfriend looks at you funny, frowning as a grin began to spread across his face. "what are you doing?" "what? dafuc..." "there! why do you keep saying that?" "saying what? i am just making you rate my new sylvanian families, babe," "you're playing with me," "dafuc!- no i'm not, dafuc," heeseung threw the little rabbit and it landed in the box you were holding. "babe! dafuc?! rate my-" "i know what you're doing, you little thing-" "AH!" you squealed when your boyfriend suddenly jumped against your body, holding you close and giving your neck subtle bites. and then he would say something like: "yeah, dafuc, dafuc!" with that big grin of his while hearing your laughter.

― 𝒿ongseong: noticed but just brushed it off.

"hey, guys, so, my boyfriend is gonna rate and review my new purse! dafuc. i bought her yester-" "what was that?" jongseong snapped his head at you after the sudden change in your tone. "i don't know what you are talking about," you held his shoulders, moving him to fit the camera's frame better. "okay, anyway guys, i bought this beautiful purse yesterday and i'm obsessed! dafuc!" he ignores. "just to clarify some things: this purse is y/n's boyfriend sponsored, 'kay?" you rolled your eyes behind him, hearing his amused chuckle. "okay, this purse is nice and feels good quality," "what else? dafuc!" "um..." ignores again, just giving you a amused and subtle side eye. "the colour is great and it might fit lots of things in here..." he analyses the purse's inside. "it's cute and it suits you really well, i'm glad i were part of this," in a comic way, jongseong bowed at the camera, giving your purse back to you acting in the same way.

you ended up ending the video after a brief goodbye; "babe, didn't you notice anything off?" "mhm? what exactly?" "ugh... nothing..." you were just about to walk out of the room when you heard your boyfriend's shout: "dafuc!" "babe!"

― 𝒿aeyun: giggles soooo much when he realises.

jaeyun is always amused by everything you do. you know that videos of golden retrievers just adoring their owner? that's definitely him. "and today my beautiful boyfriend- "it's me!" his aussie accent echoed, making you giggle a little. "anyway, yeah, he's gonna review this new lip gloss i bought a few days ago, dafuc! here you go." you handed him the lip gloss. "what should i rate?" "um... the smell, the feel..." "oh, okay," "dafuc!" "mhm... i like the smell, it is not very fruity but still sweet, is good." the gave the camera a thumbs up. "can you apply it so i can taste it and feel it?" "sure, dafuc." you couldn't ignore jaeyun's pouty face while waiting for you to apply it. "can i kiss you now? please, please, pleeeeeasee?" "yeah," you giggled, cupping his cheeks. "dafuc," you spoke before smacking his lips. "that's all?" "mhm-hm," you nodded. "how petty," he complained. jaeyun licked his lips tasting the lip gloss. "mhm... is not that good actually," "it isn't?! dafuc?"

suddenly your boyfriend just stared at you, confused yet curious about your actions. "what? dafuc...?" "there! why do you keep saying that?~" he whined while giggling, hugging you right after realising you were playing with him. "you're so silly, y'know that?"

― 𝓼unghoon: side eyes you so much.

"hey babes!" first side eye. "so, today i brought my boyfriend and he's gonna rate some new clothing i bought this week; dafuc!" "y/n," "mhm?" "why do you call your followers 'babes'?" "tsk, it's just a pet name, you're my ultimate baby, 'kay? dafuc..." you smiled at him and you noticed a small smirk appearing on the corner of his lips; even blushing a little. you chuckled before speaking: "okay, so the first clothing piece is this cute skirt~ dafuc~" "isn't it way too short?" "no is not, feel the fabric and rate it bae, dafuc." second side eye. "it is still short but is cute and suits you really well, i like it." sunghoon nodded while analysing the skirt. "'kay, and...? dafuc," "i rate it a 5/10." "alright," you nodded your head, agreeing with him. "fair enough, dafuc," third side eye. "this next piece is one of my favourites, it is so pretty and ugh, perfect, dafuc." you hid it before bringing it out. "are you ready; dafuc?" fourth side eye followed by a subtle nod. "yes i am, dafuc...?" he mimicked you, kind of confused making you giggled. "tadaaaa~ dafuc~" a beautiful flowy dress was revealed. "it is indeed pretty, i like it baby, 9.5/10." "oh~ dafuc!" and that was his last side eye before the confrontation.

"why'd you keep saying that earlier?" "that...? what?" "the dafuc thing." "it is just a trend babe, like a joke, you know?" you spoke between a fit of laughter. "oh... yeah, i knew it." he pursed his lips, giving you a very last side eye. ― he'll probably search the definition of this word a few minutes later.

― 𝓼unoo: kind of gives up and it's very curious.

"hi everyone, so, today my boyfriend is going to review and rate some of the halloween costumes i've worn over the years, let's get started; dafuc!" sunoo sides eye you for a second, kind of annoyed by your sudden shout, but kept smiling. you abled the green screen video on the tiktok camera and began to search for your halloween costume photos. "alright, so this is the first one, dafuc!" sunoo just looks at you with a curious but amused big grin, almost like he was laughing at your silly action. "um, i would rate this costume an... 8? i think 8.5, it's not good but it's not bad either." he shrugged and you nodded, agreeing with him.

you replaced the last picture with another one, a different costume. "alright babe, i love this costume i think i ate this fit up so rate it carefully, dafuc...!" "um..." he sides eyes you, confused this time by another one of your shouts. "i think i like it...? it's actually really cute, i lied, i like it so much; i actually loved it, babe, oh my god you look so good in this dress, wow..." "awn... thank you babe~ dafuc~" you heard sunoo sigh before covering the camera with his hand. "okay, what are you doing right now?" "what'd you mean?" you pretended to be actually intrigued. "dafuc?" "that! that! why are you saying that after everything you say? should i do it too?"

― 𝒿ungwon: can't stop wondering what you were doing.

"hi guys so, today i brought my boyfriend; say hi, dafuc..." you whispered. "oh, yeah, hi!" jungwon waved at the camera, showing off his dimples while smiling. "and today wonnie' gonna rate my cooking skills, dafuc! because i made a-" "wait," your boyfriend's fit of laughter began to echo. "what was that? the- the- 'dafuc!' thing?" "i don't know what you are talking about," you brush it off. "um, so, i made a beautiful and delicious cheesecake, 'kay, baby, taste it~ dafuc." he stops laughing and cuts a slice of it and takes a spoonful. "mhm! i'ts very good!" "really?! thank you, wonnie, dafuc!" jungwon starts laughing again and you knew why, but kept your poker face. "what? something wrong with the cheesecake?" "not with the cheesecake, but with you, baby," finishing taking a few sips on his water, he looks at you after almost chocking on his dessert. "you are so weird with this dafuc thing..." "um... okay? anyway, how much would you rate it? dafuc." "out of ten?" "yeah, out of ten dafuc," "a nine." he shrugs. "WHAT? WHY DAFUC?" "because the one who made this is weird," "you're done, jungwon." "... aren't you gonna say the word?"

― 𝓻iki: mocks you by mimicking you.

"hey y/nnies! so, today i brought my boyfriend and we are going to rate this week's crumbl cookies, are you ready baby? dafuc..." "yeah," he nods, checking himself out on the camera. "stop checking yourself out, dafuc?" riki sighs, sitting back on his chair. "are you excited, babes?" "i actually am, i've never had these i just saw them on my for you page sometimes, so..." "yeah, riki never had these so.. let's get started i guess; dafuc." riki gives you a discreet side eye, squinting his eyes at the camera mocking you while you opened the box. "and for our today's crumbl of the week we have... chocolate chip, a... butter cake? i think it is; a peanut butter one, the original pink sugar cookie, a strawberry cupcake and the new york cheesecake cookie, dafuc!" "what was that?" "what do you mean?" you whisper, kind of ignoring him.

"okay baby, which one you want to try first? dafuc!" side eye. "um... this one...?" he points to the strawberry cupcake flavoured cookie. "alright, this is the strawberry cupcake, dafuc." you handed him the cookie, waiting for his reaction. riki bit it and handed the cookie back to you. "what do you think?" you asked after taking a bite out of it. "i dunno..." he shrugs, scrunching his nose. "'kay guys, i forgot to mention riki doesn't really like these sugary things ― slash ― cookies, so... dafuc, yeah, but, how'd you rate it?" "4 dafucs and a half."

© 𝓪𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐢𝓮, 𝗺𝗹𝘆𝘀𝗰𝗵𝗮 𝗌𝓽𝓾𝖽𝗂𝗈𝓼. ⋆

[long-live-astronerd-ghost-king]

DPXDC prompt. Family? Assemble!

Reporter: Gotham News, and we have a new supervillain on the line. Mr Phantom, what are your demands at the moment? Phantom with lack of sleep and with tears: I..I want a titanium model of a spaceship! And to get a good night’s sleep and to go to the local school…and some fudge and.. Reporter: Oh, my bad. Just one question for clarification, are you by any chance an orphan or are your parents villains? Phantom: I prefer the term mad scientists Reporter: Okay. So, Gotham news! And with me on the line is the new potential child of Wayne or Batman. Want to know how two serial adopters will share a child leading a double life? Stay with us and find out. Now let's check in with Jessie for our weather report. Phantom: Wait, what?

~~~~~

Danny spends the night running from the Red Hood with a bag of fudge, Red Robin with a pot of coffee, Batman with the adoption papers and, for some reason, Brucie Wayne with an idea of internship at a space station. Ha! The Justice League will never let a ghost into orbit. Not that Wayne can blackmail superheroes or smth. Danny: Fuck you all! I’m done with vigilante activity, I’m not your competitor! What do you want from me? And I’m done with crazy billionaires too. I swear, I’d rather be adopted by a local mob boss just to piss you off! ~Later~ Danny *sees peering out of the corner Matches Malone*: Are you kidding me?! Robbie *jumps off the roof and lands right behind Danny*: Stop running, lil brother, No one’s left the family yet. Minnie: What about Neal? Robbie *shakes a knife with a bow on the handle negatively*: He’s on sabbatical, that doesn’t count. Anyway, it’s a gift for you, cub. Danny: Um, thank you, but my lab scalpels are definitely sterile, and your blade was in who knows who before you brought it here. Robbie: It’s brand-new! And Archie decorated it with a ghost on the handle. Look! It's cute! With a smile and… Dick: Hands up! You’re under arrest for trying to steal our new member! Minnie: Why is he yours, damn cop? Selina: Boys, don’t fight. He’s mine. Schrodinger’s cat is still a kitten. Killer Croc: No way, my niece is staying with me. Danny: Uncle Waylon? Long time no see. Ra's: My grandson needs steady access to ectoplasm. Danyal, come with me. Danny: Over my dead body! Oh shiii…I mean no. Anyway, don’t you think the alley’s getting a little crowded?

~~~~

Killer Croc: Is he still mad at me? RR: Danny doesn’t talk to uncles who tried to eat his beloved brother Red Robin. Killer Croc: He wasn’t even your brother then. What do you want? An apology from me? RR: That would be nice.

~~~~

Danny: I didn’t think the GIW agents would really fear the reputation of Gotham and not follow me. What a relief! Jason *quickly throws the knife into the sink*: Wow, you got lucky. Alfred: Master Jones, why don’t you eat your steak? I thought last week you were complaining to Batman that 'cause of him you got not many prey. Croc *pulls a piece of white robe from the teeth*: Well, now there is a lot of it. Bruce *gives Jason and Croc the side-eye*.

~~~~

Ra's: You do realize that Malone, Wayne and Batman are the same person, right? Boy, you were born into a family of geniuses, don’t disappoint Grandpa. Danny: Triple pocket money, triple gifts for the holidays, the opportunity to complain about the same family member three times. No, Grandpa, I definitely don’t understand. Ra's: Smart little weasel.

~~~~

Selina: Okay. Purely theoretical. Do you like to steal? Danny: I wouldn’t say that. But somehow I stole the sword from the fright knight. And also stole few jewels but then I was under the mind control. I returned them. Well, the crown and ring of the king of the ghost zone I also took without permission. Oh, and the answers to the test once. And I’m really sorry about the last one. Neal: I feel the story behind it but I prefer to know nothing about it.

[dcxdpdabbles]

Am going feral for Danny's grill, I'm salivating for another part, perhaps the batfams reactions to Tim's theory of Danny being fae and just "ohh oh that tracks, that tracks a little too well, but atleast he's a nice fae? Also I vainly remember Constantine drunkenly complaining about a pariah being a bitch king so maybe Danny is actually fae royalty which is why he can afford to be nice??"

Sry for rambling ♡

Tim's investigation updates are alarming, to put it nicely. Bruce can't say he's thrilled by how his son discovered a new Fae court or that his son is now untraceable within the said court.

He would think Tim was missing if it weren't for the reports he finds at family information locations. Thankfully, the fae seemed benevolent—at least for now.

Bruce would be the first to admit that he did not like how, out of all his kids, Tim always seemed to get involved with the oddest of missions.

Reading the Young Justice reports always gave him a headache- baseball game for the plant? Accidentally killed Santa Claus?!? - So, he not only figured out a Fae had appeared in Gotham but also ate the food the Fae offered him? Yeah, that was his Tim.

Bruce had picked up Tim's progress reports before anyone else. His other children were focused on a missing person case and their own cases.

Bruce figured that as long as Tim was treated right, he could spend time searching for a way to get his son home safely without worrying about the others. He has spoken with every member of the Justice League Dark, interviewed any god or goodness in the Justice League, and done extensive research on Faes themselves.

Almost everything had given him the same result: A human could be returned from the Other World only if the Fae allowed it.

It's not impossible to trick a Fae into releasing Tim, but it must be delicately done. Those types of beings rarely forgive and never forget.

He had planned for this to happen to him long before he became Batman—after all, he knew those creatures were real after learning of Aliens—but each of his plans to escape the Fae had an "It's alright if I die" in progress.

He could not apply those plans to Tim as he did care if his son lived.

He was replaying his interview with John Consitiante- seeing as that man had a lot of practice swinging his soul as a bargaining chip- when Jason came stomping down the stairs.

"I can't find him!" He swears, throwing himself in a computer chair with a huff. Bruce lowers the volume on his computer, making a sound in the back of his throat. It's the usual noise he makes to convey to his children he is listening and is curious about what is upsetting them

Jason, easily able to understand his sounds now, ranks a hand through his hair with a scoff. "The favor one of my contacts called in. Alvin Draper. I can't find anything on him before my contact took him in"

"Could be a fake name," Bruce offers, typing into his search engine some keywords John spilled in his drunken state. He reads over the runes that pulled up while considering Jason's words. "He gave your contact his name in the same breath as his work. He would unlikely have trusted him that much, so he creates a false name to cover up his street name, which he only gives to customers. His birth name is even less spoken."

"Yeah, I thought the same, so I took the initiative to look at anyone working in his usual areas. Some working girls who answer to me have also asked around. Anyone even remotely matching the description has been tracked down and kept safe, but none were the target. I've even had the others look into it just in case the few corner boys didn't trust Red Hood would be more forthcoming with information. Nothing. Zip. Nada! I'm not an amateur, Bruce. " Jason snarks and Bruce fights off the wave of pride. Of course, his children were able to do all that without him. His kids were incredible at their work.

"No one has seen or heard of Alvin within the industry. If he's a corner boy, he's a private one. Those are the worst because it usually means the clients are crazy powerful and extra careful to not be seen."

Bruce pauses, mind rushing at lightning speed. "Power, not seen and....does this Alvin Draper happen to work on these streets?"

He pulls up a map with various colored dots on it. Bruce had been carefully tracking down where Tim and his Fae had been going through. Tim mainly stayed at the Fae's manor but was allowed to go out to work. One of the reasons Bruce truly believed it was benevolent.

If he ignored the information in the packages, it seemed like Tim was taking some personal time off. His other children surely thought so. They all just laughed at the fact Tim was not about but was still solving the most cases out of all of them.

It was primarily remote work, which Bruce didn't mind. Tim needed a vacation from Red Robin and Wayne Enterprises' CEO.

"Yes!" Jason gasps, leaning towards the map. "How did you find all the targeted areas? My contact said Alvin moved almost every night."

Bruce weighs his options before carefully admitting. "It wasn't my intention to get Alvin's area. I have been tracking a new Fae court that followed these paths."

There was a significant pause before Jason asked with great patience. "There is a what in Gotham?"

"A Fae."

"...Okay, and how long has this been in our city?"

"About two months now."

Jason takes a deep breath. He reaches around Bruce to press the communications line, which he presses four times. At once, the cave is filled with the noise of his children going about their night- either in or out of costume.

All but Tim, since he is still within the Fae's castle. It's a setback that Bruce can't find the castle, even after Tim tells him exactly where it is with coordinates.

He assumes that he, as a human, has no access to the building. Nothing on his computers or tests proves that there is a building there, but Tim swears that's where he's been.

"We have Faes in Gotham. B. has known about them for two months," Jason announces, cutting everyone off. The lines go very silent, and Bruce blinks, confused when he can pick up some anger in his children's silence.

"B?" Dick says in that You better tell me everything right now, old man voice. It's the strangely sickly sweet tone he uses that disguises danger.

Bruce is mystified. Why is he angry? "Two months ago, Tim informed me that a stranger had caught his attention and that he was going undercover. He mostly noticed inconsistencies with his target, but it was only after following the suspect home that he realized the man was not human-"

"Father, are you saying a Fae has Red Robin?" Damian interrupted which is unusual. His youngest almost never does that; he's far too polite and disciplined.

"Yes. He's been in his castle the whole time he's been away."

"Did he eat anything the Fae gave him!?" Duke's cries sounded almost hysterical.

"Yes, he has been there for two months. Tim needed to eat."

"RR has been gone for almost three months, B.!" Harper snaps. She was out as Bluebird for the first time in a while. Her college assignments were really cutting into her hero time.

"Is he okay?" Cullen asks quietly. Bruce had always suspected the lad had a crush on his son, flushing deep red whenever Harper brought him over.

"He is fine. Tim has kept contact with me and seems to be thriving with the Fae. I have been working to get the being to give him back without causing him harm."

"That's what all the research you've been doing lately was about?" Barbara demands.

Bruce squints at the screens where voice lines are beside the images of his children. He doesn't know why but understands that even she is cross with him. "Yes."

"Master Bruce, we will be having a conversation later," Alfred hisses- actually hisses, and Bruce feels cold, hard dread slip down his spine. Oh no. Had he done something wrong again?

Should he not mention his theory that Tim and Alvin are one in the same? Would that make things worse or better?

Jason lets loose a series of swears in Spanish. He leans against the table, pitching his voice loud enough that the rest of the Bats can hear him. "Crude, I think the Fae collects people with the same physical characteristics. Tim and Alvin are known as people of the same height, eye color, age, hair color, and even skin color."

Dick, Damian, Duke, and Harper all swear in their own native tounges, which makes Bruce fight the urge to sink down. Yes, it is better not to mention his other theory of Jason's contact being said, Fae.

Not until he has proof, at least.

"Let me guess." Steph chimes in with a sigh. "Tim followed the Fae because he's pretty."

Bruce remains stubbornly silent, but he thinks that Tim finds the Fae or "Danny" quite handsome. Why else would he spend three paragraphs of his report describing Danny's hair?

"I think we all need to come together to work on this," Dick says next, voice taking charge. Bruce's pride and adoration for the children grow a few notches higher when they all agree without thought.

"Who knows what Tim or Alvin are going through."

Meanwhile, Tim sighed as one of Danny's "hired" help carefully worked out some knots in his back. How long has it been since he had a spa day? Too long. "Was that too rough?"

"No, it's the perfect pressure."

"Wonderful. After we are done here, would you prefer a mud bath or a soothing seaweed wrap?"

"Oh, a mud bath for sure."

[teojira]

Really enjoyed your headcanons on Caeser and Proximus, do you mind doing the same with Noa?? 😊🙏

[Noa and day to day life with him!] [Headcanons!]

Summary: Noa takes you back with him to his home, and the clan accepts you as one of them. Even if you're concerned otherwise.

Word count: 1k (Jesus christ)

Warnings: None that I can think of! Can be read as Platonic or Romantic! You and Noa are attached to one another. (Yes, this is me projecting.)

A/N: Noa is so near and dear to me, I literally did not mean for this to be so long, and I STILL cut myself off. This is 1k words worth of headcanons for him, and it is not enough. I'm Noa's #1 fan, I am sorry to all my friends and family who have to hear me talk about him constantly.. Ask me for Noa anything, and I will give you the world.

Do me a favor and strap the fuck in for this it's alot.

I am so glad someone asked about Noa bc I got ALOT to say.

Noa has had it with humans, Mae put him, his clan, and countless others at risk, he should not trust humans, really he shouldn't, but he can't help it. She also betrayed you in the process, and now you're alone.

You agreed to help him and Mae against Proximus, you're the only one who actively goes up against Proximus as well.

Swinging and trying your best to try and get Proximus off of Noa, yelling and crying while the other apes just stare in fear. (Later on they apologize, but you don't hold it against them.)

It's a huge risk to invite a human with them again, but then he remembers Rakas words, Caesars words, and decides he can't told another's decisions over you.

So when he gently grabs your hand in his, looking down at you with a strained smile, blood seeping from his lips, you follow, back to his clans land.

Now on to the good stuff, it's kinda awkward finding your place among the eagle clan, the elders are gone, his father Koro is gone, there really is no guidance as to where to place you.

You drift mostly, either helping Dar or helping with the young ones, teaching them how to read and write, helping fish, farm, the basic tasks.

Dar loves you by the way, doting on you and making sure no one messes with you in a harmful way. She teaches you their customs and traditions, all the while playfully teasing you about Noa. She's a mom, she knows.

You're happy with your work, happy with your place among the clan. It's genuinely shocking how much they were willing to forgive and to not hold any grudges against humans after one ruined everything.

It helps that Noa takes accountability for you, somehow so trusting that you will not cause harm. His faith in you speaks volumes and you remind him everyday that it won't go to waste.

All he does is send you a sweet smile and ruffles your hair.

You find yourself helping Noa alot with crafting new tools and contraptions, being a second pair of eyes that can catch onto things he can't.

"Very smart." "Thank yo-" "For an Echo." and he does that stupid cute little sniff afterwards and it makes it tremendously hard to hit him.

He's such a little shit I fucking hate him.

You're his shadow when his duties permit, he's taken on a higher role of the clan, sometimes going out for days at a time but you're always at the edge of the Village waiting for his return, anxiously working your bottom lip until you see him in view.

You're both extremely attached to one another, Soona and Anaya become attached to you too, dragging you along in everyone's free time to go climbing, to eat, to hunt, just about any group outing has you as their fourth member.

Noa was worried about them accepting you, but they love you just as much as he does.

It makes his heart swell when he sees you and Soona together, giggling about something surely only you both understand while Anaya groans and complains about being left out.

It's like you've always been meant to be with them, to round out their group.

Soona and Anaya will offer to be the one to carry you this time, they do want to, genuinely, but Noa won't let them 99.9% of the time, He's used to your weight, he trusts that he can keep you safe the best. (Says the ape that literally almost died multiple times doing stupid shit)

"Noa worries too much, they will be fine." "Anaya is clumsy. Can't trust you to carry yourself, much less echo."

He tries not to carry you everywhere, but it is so much more convenient than waiting for you, so he scoops you up often enough that the stares don't bother you anymore.

Remember how in the movie, all the apes sleep together communally? Well you're at first extremely nervous about that, not wanting to ask what exactly are your accommodations because surely they don't want you there with them.

Actually, Noa does, so jot that down.

When you shyly move away, he raises his palm up at you, nodding to the space besides him.

When you don't move, he gently tugs you down, laying on his back and shutting his eyes. The clan hasn't really fully rebuilt and started to gather things needed for shawls and coverings, so it's not strange to him that you cuddle up to him to steal his warmth, peeking an eye open to see your face squished into his side, knocked out.

He wraps an arm around you, incasing you in more warmth.

This is a nightly routine until you finally take it upon yourself to throw yourself on him, he chokes out a breath as you make yourself comfortable.

Soona and Anaya usually join in, he cannot fucking breathe but he's so happy that it outweighs it.

When Mae inevitably shows back up, she sees you out in the distance, you look so genuine happy, so at peace with where you are. You even have some eagle feathers in your hair, integrated into their life that it shocks her.

It's enough to make her put the gun away, grasping at Rakas necklace like a lifeline, sucking in a deep breath to stop her from crying.

Maybe apes and humans can live at peace with one another after all. She hopes you prove her wrong.

ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ᴠᴇʀʏ ᴍᴜᴄʜ ꜰᴏʀ ʀᴇᴀᴅɪɴɢ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ʜᴏᴘᴇ ᴛᴏ ʜᴇᴀʀ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ʏᴏᴜ ꜱᴏᴏɴ!