#like in general. all my life as I observed normal people interacting with their friends I thought complaining about your life and getting

[leatherbookmark]

I hate how like. Very often when I'm trying to whine to someone, it goes something like

me: I don't really like visiting Relative A as much as I do Relative B, you know? Relative B always plans a full meal when you're visiting, along with drinks beforehand, and you're talking and hanging out the entire time, so you feel taken care of, and it's nice because it's like they really want you there and want you to have a good time! But with Relative A it's like you get tea when you arrive, but then someone turns the TV on, so no one pays attention to you, and by the time it's time for dinner you're bored, and when it's dinner no one's really talking but watching the TV instead, and it's often conservative news or pseudo-documentaries, so eventually you start bringing books or your laptop and move to a different room, but it's like, I can read and use the internet at my own house, yknow?

person x: oh, I hate being in the center of attention during family dinners tho. like, stop asking if I have a boyfriend!

perxon y: oh man, I'd love to just chill in another room while everyone else is talking, I wish hanging out could look like that

like... right, but... that's not... what I meant, really...

[selfaware-bungou-stray-dogs]

What kind of interaction would the reader have with the Decay of Angels. (Mainly Fyodor Dostoevsky, and Sigma ,Nikolai Gogol) how would they treat the reader?

(my poor baby need some Love Sigma <3)

Here you go. As I said before, all characters will get their own entries later. Same with Decay of Angels. Until then, I can share this headcannons with you.

On the side note. A little update on main entries progress. Self-Aware Dazai Osamu entry is in progress. The first third (Becoming self-aware) is almost finished.

Self-Aware! Decay of Angels x GN! Reader

Headcannons

Warning: OOC. Yandere. Stalking. Mentions of world domination. Mentions of killing. English is my second language.

General

🐾 Group, that take longest to join the others.

🐾 Not because of you or their feelings towards you. Because of how slowly they were introduced in the manga.

🐾 Their plan has failed. What they should do next? How it should be connected to you?

Bram Stoker

🧛 At first, he doesn't care, that he is fictional. It's not like he is walking around. Besides, right now he has no one, he can consider his friends.

🧛 But it changes, thanks to Aya. The girl is mesmerized by you and your world, and, after being appointed as Bram's 'guardian', she tried to show Bram, how wonderful your world is.

🧛 Slowly, Bram warm towards you. You don't seem bad. Besides, your emotions feel nice. Also, there is so much interesting in your world.

🧛 Like to watch videos with you and Aya. Sometimes, two of them watch something on their own.

🧛 Will try to find a way to get his body back and control his ability again. Because this ability will help you. He will give you an army of vampires, ready to serve you.

🧛 You are normal human. You are an interesting human. You treat someone like him is human. He will help to bring the human world to their knees for you.

Sigma

🃏 At first, Sigma is on the cross road. It's not like he is entirely human, so knowing that he is fictional, doesn't hit him as hard as the other characters. Bit, still, it hurts, to know, that he was created for someone else's entertainment. And the voice of Guiding Light. They were praising him. Lowing him. Did you try to trick him? Was it the same situation, as with Dostoevsky, three years ago?

🃏 No. It was different. You aren't fake. You were real. Not only that, but you liked him for simply existing. You liked him as he is. No need to use his ability or do something for you.

🃏 Sigma would observe your messages. To make sure, that people won't try to scam you.

🃏 One time, on The Internet, you were discussing with other people what would you do, if you had a chance to see Sigma in real life. Sigma was disgusted by some responses. But then, he heard you.

"I would give him a cookie and ask for a hug".

Congrats, Sigma is now as red as a tomato.

🃏 Sigma will memorize everything about you. He doesn't want to lose you. Near you, he has a scene of purpose.

🃏 His purpose - be in your life. To make you feel happy.

____________

Sigma grumbles under his breath, looking another scam message from your mailbox.

The same person has been trying to scam you for a while.

Sigma send the scam letter to Fyodor. He will help to deal with thief.

Parasite, that want to hurt you. Who wants to steal from you. He deserved to be punished.

Sigma looked at the Little Light, floating above him. One day, he will see the true you. One day, he will bask in your emotions. And he will give you a hug you want so much.

Nikolai Gogol

Fyodor Dostoevsky

🤡 Let's just say, after some time of internal conflict, reassuring words and conversations with other characters, Gogol will see you as the embodiment of freedom. A real person, who doesn't need to follow the plot and can do anything they want.

🤡 Gogol is one of the characters who became obsessed with you. He believes, that he will become free, if he stays near you.

🤡 Your influence broke the plot chains. Your influence make him realize, that he is fictional. Nikolai is grateful. He will do anything for you.

🤡 Like to watch videos with Circus performances with you. If you liked some magic tricks, will learn, how to do it.

🤡 He is perfectly sane, and knew, that killing is bad. But, for your sake, he will kill.

🤡 You are Their Guiding Light. You are his bird. He will fight for your freedom. For his freedom. For freedom of other BSD characters.

____________

Nikolai Gogol was angry. He heard from Sigma, that someone tried to steal from his Birdy. He wished he can drag the thief there. To make his last moments the real Hell.

Gogol wished, that you were there. His Birdy is so weak. They don't have ability. Everyone can take their freedom away.

Gogol looked at Little Light, circling around his hands. The proof of your existence. The proof of your emotions. Untouchable...

But don't worry. They are near. Soon he will be near you. Soon no one will dare to take away your freedom.

Fukuchi Ouchi

🐀 Became self-aware earlier, than other DOA members.

🐀 At first, he was simply curious about your world. Then, he became curious about you. Then, he became obsessed with you.

🐀 You don't have an ability. You live in the world with no abilities. His perfect world. You are perfect in his eyes.

🐀 Fyodor Dostoevsky is one of the hackers, who hacked BSD Mayoi Inu Kaikitan app. One of the creators of the portal.

🐀 Watch whatever you are watching. He just wants to spend time with you.

🐀 Perfection must be saved. And Dostoevsky will save you. He spent enough time to start trusting other characters. But he also won't stand back. He will protect you.

___________

Fyodor Dostoevsky smirked. Nikolai Gogol and Sigma were standing near him.

Fyodor has found the scammer. Found him and post all his personal information for everyone to see.

And put a special virus on their phone. The one, that will connect his phone to the portal. The scammer will be the perfect lab rat for a testing.

Bright light.

Scammer was laying there. Bleeding, but alive. Fyodor Dostoevsky smirked. The next second, Gogol's hand grasp scammer's head.

Little Light were floating above them, as always. And his Perfect Guiding Light will stay perfect and safe.

The next day, BSD gang find the body of a scammer. Fyodor, Nikolai and Sigma didn't hide, that it was their doing. That they have tested the portal and protected Their Guiding Light.

"Aren't you afraid, that 'Kamui' will be angry at you doing things without an order?" mocks Dazai, looking at Fukuchi.

Sigma was first.

"I was working for Kamui for three years. Never heard anything good from him. And Guiding Light were nice to me. They are more deserving of my loyalty."

Then Gogol.

"He promised me freedom. He lied. But Guiding Light is there. They are my freedom. They are more deserving of my loyalty."

And then, Dostoevsky.

"Kamui promised the world without sin. He failed. But Perfect Guiding Light already live in sinless world. They are more deserving of my loyalty."

Fukuchi Ouchi knew, that he has lost to you.

[sn0wp1anets]

observations about joel (mostly speech stuff) and interactions with others bc ive been hyperfixated since the beginning of time (also theres alot of bs commentary im sorry)

general stuff:

very very british like extremely british

'bloody' and 'blooming' ALOT - when he's annoyed or shocked or offended (im gonna call this his pseudo swearing for the rest of this for convenience)

instead of very he says 'well' sometimes (e.g. "this bloody pico park music is well annoying) and "absolutely"

instead of really he says 'proper' sometimes so "stress is proper northern" etc

instead of 'i haven't' he says "i've not"

he gives an explanation for basically everything he does and instead of because he says 'as' alot

'to be honest' "i bloody hate woodwork to be honest" (sometimes he says 'to be honest with you' too)

'innit' occasionally "it's like waterslide innit"

'like so'

'by the look of it'

he gets irritated really easily - "for goodness sake" and he'll start cutting himself off alot "this bloody-" and also his voice gets much more high pitched and his pseudo swearing gets way more frequent. also 'blooming heck'

(and also this isn't super relevant but when he gets mad all his friends start commenting on it and its the funniest thing- in the overcooked stream as soon as he starts getting annoyed everyones like 'oh here he is')

i didn't know if i should put this in a specific section but he says 'babe' alot - not just to lizzie but to jimmy like ALOT and also in general - i'll talk about this a bit more later tho !

pauses alot: in between words/phrases, and also before he answers questions (this is not as often but also if he wants someone to stop him- he was playing scrabble and was basically asking if someone could spell out vagina so he was slowly going 'and a g....and an i...and a n...' etcetc idk this isnt relevant i just thought it was worth mentioning)

he's kinda an oversharer 😭 ? (this is lh hes 31 im sure he shares what he thinks is appropriate) but at any given moment he starts giving details about his life- a kinda memorable example of this is in mcc26(?) when w*lbur made fun of his accent so he started telling a story about his grandfather and giving alot of details about him after he said he couldnt talk too much about it AND grian begged him to stop

repeats things (especially when he's annoyed) : "game's a bloody joke. game's a bloody joke"

he basically never says 'oh my god' its always 'oh my gosh' or 'oh gosh' sometimes its 'oh jesus'

his voice is generally higher pitched and more expressive in videos than in streams but this is more of a general cc thing than a specific joel thing

very confident in his builds (AS HE SHOULD BE !!!) and he'll share his thoughts alot : "i think it's come together really well" "lovely" "i'm really happy with it/with how it's turned out" etcetc

when he narrates he uses a mixture of 'I' and 'We'. what i've noticed is he uses I for his thoughts ("i feel like" "i think") and we for everything else ("we need" "we're quite high in the sky" etc)

'genuinely'

'what (are) you on about'

'what the heck'

he will say very random (kind of odd) things just out of nowhere as if its normal and he'll only realize it's weird when someone questions it? e.g. the mumbo trauma dumping bit in SL, or in one of jimmy's streams he said 'until i get back to the hotel if yk what i mean' and jimmys like 'i dont' and joel just goes 'idk either'

accent stuff:

it's really recognizable idk what to say

very northern: hes from yorkshire - his accent used to be stronger in his old videos but you can definitely still hear it (like its still super different from grian or like mumbo idk)

his 'th' sounds come out as 'f' (idk if this is an accent thing or a joel thing but he's talked about it and said his family members have it too)

again not sure if this is an accent or joel thing but when he says any word with 'con' he says it kinda differently- it's hard to describe but for example when most people say convention the 'on' sound is more like a 'un' sound? whereas with joel its very much an 'o' sound like in 'box' or 'coffee' (genuinely have no idea how else to explain it but in phonetic symbols- joel essentially never says /ʌ/ it's almost always /ɒ/ when its a 'con' word)

jimmy-

NICKNAMES !!! 'jim' is used alot - more than anyone else and one of the only people who calls him this. hes used 'mr neutron' too (idk how many times'

(he also doesnt actually say tim/timmy often and when he does its exclusively when grian is present)

typical british male friendship nicknames: 'lad' 'big man'

when he joins jimmy's stream he always says hi in a very dramatic way?? usually with a pretty deep voice (idk this is just something i noticed)

he calls him a loser alot?

(this might be more of a bad boys point) but joel is generally not that mean to jimmy? definitely he's meaner than he was a few years ago but that makes sense because they weren't as close but. he'll call him a loser and stupid/idiot sometimes but his main 'bullying jimmy' momentsare usually always when he's with someone else (usually grian, sometimes fwhip)

'what are you doing jimmy' or sometimes 'what are you doing with your life'

lizzie:

'babe' like all the time. once lizzie mentioned that they don't even really use each other's names alot because they just say 'babe' all the time

oli:

ok so joel really doesn't use that much like modern internet language but oli does and then joel will pick up on it (its cute but also horrifying sometimes)- he kept saying 'dogs' in reference to feet after oli said it

they flirt alot but differently to how he does with jimmy (hes more passive whereas with jimmy he initiates it more idk how else to describe it)

he calls him 'man' sometimes

he's also really giggly around oli theyre adorable

(tbh theres so much more to say about oli and lizzie but idk if i have the energy and time for like 10+ years of interactions rn - and honestly alot more for everyone else too but like.)

grian:

in general joel picks up on people's energy etc and mimics it alot but it happens so much with grian specifically - this sounds very weird but the more time he spends with grian in one go the more he starts to act like grian (especially with interactions with jimmy)

[literary-illuminati]

2024 Book Review #19 – Klara and the Sun by Kazuo Ishiguro

This is the third book I’ve picked up as part of my whole aspirational ‘read a piece of non-SFF capital-l Literature every month’ New Years resolution. Of those three, it is the second I opened only to discover it actually is science fiction and/or fantasy after all. Which is just a very funny thing to happen twice, and also meant the book was significantly less outside my comfort zone than I’d expected. Which did make it quite a pleasant read.

The story follows Klara, an AF (Artificial Friend, a companion robot for children) in a broadly sketched and mildly dystopian future America. At first it just follows her life in the shop where she’s kept, observing the world around her and interacting with the store manager and the other AFs, but the meat of the book is her life with the family who buys her. Over time you learn that Josie, her child, suffers from severe and increasing health issues as a consequence of being ‘lifted’ (genetically enhanced, in some unclear way) in the womb. Klara, being solar-powered and having quietly developed a one-robot religion underpinned by a firm belief in the power and benevolence of Mr. Sun (and a moral opposition to Pollution, which obscures and drives him away) does her best to invoke his help in nourishing and restoring Josie. At the same time, she learns that her job is not just to comfort Josie but, should she die, to be her mother’s replacement goldfish and imitate her perfectly.

The setting is broadly sketched and never really exposited upon – it’s just not something Klara is particularly interested in – but it’s a very modern sort of dystopia. Much of the populace, even among the American professional elite, have been left ‘post-employed’ by robotic automation. The remaining meritocratic elite have embraced novel and risky genetic enhancements for their children, as the only possible way of ensuring they get into a good school and one of the few good careers left. There are fascist militia compounds off in the distance somewhere. The overall feeling is that of a society dimly aware it’s midway through collapsing, but with no ideas of how to arrest its fall. But since Klara has no interest at all in either politics or economics, we only see this as it directly intrudes upon the story, with nary a lecture or manifesto to be seen.

I’ve only ever read one other book by Ishiguro, so I really don’t know how much this generalizes, but the similarities to Never Let Me Go really were striking. Both books are set in really rather horrifying societies, but portrayed in an utterly normalized way by someone who never even thinks to question the real rules they live under. Which is even more striking because in both cases the protagonist is seen by society as only quasi-human – like a person, but existing only in relation to and for the benefit of the people who really matter. And in both cases the story follows the protagonist who lives their life moving through the role they were made for without ever really resisting it, let alone changing it. Not that the roles of ‘friend to sick child’ and ‘mandatory organ donor’ are exactly comparable but, you know.

A definition I’ve always kind of liked for what makes literary fiction, well, literary is that it’s as or more concerned with the beauty and presentation of its prose than it is on the information the prose is conveying. Not at all true in terms of how the term’s actually used (genre is marketing), but it works for me, and lets this book count as literature quite handily. The whole story is told quite tightly from Klara’s point of view, and it’s a pleasure to read. Even if it took me more than a few pages to really understand how she described scenes, always foregrounding the ways they were divided by grids or patterns of the sun’s light.

Portraying the normal human society through the eyes of a naive and somewhat alien narrator to get away without explaining everything is a classic sci fi trope for a reason, but it’s overall used really well here as well.

I’m still not entirely sure how to interpret the sudden intrusion of magical realism with the ending. But otherwise, really quite a good read.

[phenomenalgirl9]

Wonwoo x Reader: Night and Day

Summary: Where you find the quiet waiter working in your father's in really cute, however he's not so quiet and shy all the time.

A/n: First Seventeen fic!!! Btw Wonwoo is kind of a cultivator (from chinese ancient dramas) but idk if everyone will get the reference so I used the word "demon hunter" not "slayer" cause that a whole different concept. This was a request from my friend, and I hope I could do justice to him and the idea :)

W/c: 2.6k

_____________________________________

You were sitting on your father's inn's roof to watch people, it's your normal routine on quiet days. If this was around meal time the restaurant area would be filled with borders and visitors and you'd have to go down to help your mother in the kitchen. You looked down as the quiet guy that works for your father as a waiter and shook your head when you found him getting bullied by one of the regulars, again. You walked to the stairs and got down, and greeted the customer, eyeing the new woman he brought in today. "Sanghyeon ssi, I hope your wife is doing well" you said, cocking your head and looking him in the eye and he shut up. His wife was one of the main vegetable suppliers of the inn. What a shame his wife was probably working hard in their fields while here he is roaming with Adultresses and bullying poor waiters. You thought to yourself "May I know what's wrong" you then asked and he simply shook his head. You looked to the side to find Wonwoo standing there small and quiet, with his head down. His white robes tied and tucked nicely under his grayish blue half robe. His white sleeves are rolled up to his elbows, round glasses sat on his nose bridge that compliments his face. 

"Let's go" you told him "Please enjoy your meal," you said with a light bow and walked off. "Don't let them bully you like that. Speak up" you told him and he simply nodded and almost ran off. You didn't notice but his ears were already red with his interaction with you. 

He snuck a glass at you from behind the kitchen blinds and you sat down on one of the empty tables to read a book. He watched the way your eyes shone as you read with a hint of a smile adorned on your lips. He noticed the way you pulled your hair behind your ear as your new haircut always covers your eyes, hair coming in the way while you're reading. 

"Wonwoo~" he heard a name call from inside the kitchen and he rushed to work. 

You were reading a romantic book to find some inspiration. However, the protagonist kept reminding you of someone, someone you love to watch. His intent gaze, wordless nods and silent eyes, sometimes he sits and stares up at the sky and you wish you could know what he was thinking of. You blushed when you realised all this you have been thinking. You walked back to your spot in the roof and started writing:

In a world of vibrant voices echoing afar,

There lived a quiet boy, like a distant star.

His soft-spoken nature, an enigmatic grace,

Embracing silence, with a gentle embrace.

He wandered through life, a thoughtful observer,

Immersed in solitude, an inward explorer.

His mind a sanctuary, where dreams would unfold,

And secrets whispered, like stories untold.

You smiled when you were done, and you suddenly heard some commotion from downstairs. Now, this was unlikely because it was over dinner time, by now the inn should have been closed and your mother, father and you were supposed to be off on your way home as it's your brother's turn to stay the night. You got down to find a noble man and his wife and attendants checking into the inn. 

"Y/n go home, we'll have to stay and attend them, they're paying great" your mother whispered, you didn't want to stay back so you set off for home. Your home is a cottage just on the extended end of the market. You love it as it's surrounded by nature away from the hussle of the town. But today the walk was rather eerie and extremely quiet, as if the general sounds of the forest were also silent. Suddenly, you heard rustling, you looked around to not find anything. Again, the sound was heard and it's from the trees and bushes just in front of you to the left. Only if you could go a bit more you'd reach home, but now you're alone in the middle of nowhere and helpless, the only minus point of your house decides to come into play the exact night you were walking home alone. A lot of missing people and dead people have been reported on the other part of town since the last two weeks, you remembered and shuddered, you don't really want to end up on those missing posters. 

You heard the sound of footsteps and strain your eyes to look through the darkness to see a figure standing, still as dead, it was as if surrounded with darkness, the eyes (or at least where they supposed to be) show red. Everything in you screamed RUN but you couldn't, your feet felt heavy and tears stung your eyes. Is this how you die?

"Get back!" You heard a sound of a heavy voice and a man in black hanbok literally jumped in front that thing and you, his back faced towards you. He ran at that thing and engaged with it attacking it, a sword in hand. What is going on?, you thought as you tried to step back, when your feet could finally move. The man was finally able to piece his sword through that thing(after receiving lots of blows and scratches) and it started to shudder and burn from within. What is happening?!

The man then suddenly turned and the face shocked you, Wonwoo? He came extremely close within the blink of an eye and you heard his voice clearly as he said "don't roam alone in the night, it's unsafe" right into your ears as you were too stunned to speak. You felt a pressure on your neck and suddenly saw darkness. 

The next thing you know is opening your eyes in your bed as your brother called your name repetitively. "What is it Mingyu?" You asked, "Were you drinking last night?" He asked trying to sniff bard into the air, "why are you in your good robes, sleeping in the living room?" He asked with an amused expression. "I was feeling tired, so I thought to…. Rest a bit here, but I fell asleep. How was the night?" You asked trying to change the subject. "It was so tiring! That man is so demanding and he's gonna stay for three more nights. Mom has already gotten fresh and gone. You go and help them and let me catch some sleep" he said and you rushed to get freshen up and go to the inn. As you entered the inn you saw Wonwoo and Jeonghan serving. Suddenly, last night's occurrences flashed in front of your eyes and you were stunned. Was that all true or a dream? You don't even remember reaching home? What was that thing? What is Wonwoo? Before you could think any further your mother called you inside to help. You and your brother worked as your parents rested to work through the night as the Noble man might just want a baked duck in the middle of the night.  

Thus, here you were walking home with your friend Seungkwan telling him all about the previous night and how Wonwoo has been very smartly avoiding you the whole day and Seungkwan asked "Are you sure you were awake? You didn't chug a peg or two or six?". "No!" You refused "I know what and whom I saw" you said "besides you saw the way he was walking slowly and those scratches on his arm he was trying so hard to cover, they all match I saw him fight" you added. "You're parents and brother won't be home right?" He asked and you nodded. "Then let's go investigate" he said and pulled you towards a different road. "You know where he lives?" You asked as you whisper-yelled."Girl, I know everything" he said "and by your description it was a demon, if what you said is true then it means Jeon Wonwoo is a Demon hunter. Why would he hide it?" He said and suddenly you pressed a hand on his mouth, a figure stepped out of the house. It was actually nobody other than the person in question. In a black hanbok, his wide shoulders were evident. The intricate golden thread design all expanded and his back held his sword. You looked at Seungkwan who's eyes were wide in shock, he removed your hand from his mouth and lipped 'you were right?!' and you shrugged. Before either of you realised Wonwoo had disappeared. "Where did he go?" You both stood up and looked around "He's a hunter, of course he disappeared" Seungkwan said and suddenly you heard a thud and before you could turn you felt a metal on your neck "Gotcha" he whispered near your ear sending chills down his spine and then there was darkness.

When you felt water sprinkled on your face you jolte up! "You!” you told him "you keep knocking me out!" You complained, then looked around to find yourself on the river bank. Wonwoo calmly sitting beside you at a feet distance. "What?" You asked, as you found him looking at you wordlessly. "Some bravery you have to be in the middle of nowhere at night again alone. That too with that sword bearing good for nothing lover of yours" he scoffed. "First Seungkwan isn't my lover he is my friend and second don't say it like that" you frowned. "I didn't mean to offend you. And I didn't know, I just heard the villagers-" he stopped. "Yeah, me and Seungkwan grew up together, his house was the closest one to mine and the only one on this path, the village children used to call us weirdos and never played with us, so it was pretty much me, him and my brother. And he's not into swords, it's just a family thing for him" you said "Wait. Where is he?! Is he safe!" You suddenly remembered and panicked. "Don't worry he's inside my protected circle of talismans nothing can cross it" he assured you, something within you trusted him. You noticed his features more clearly now that the specs are gone. His handsomely sculpted face and the gravity in his eyes. "Why do you hide?" You asked him finally, "I don't hide, I just try to blend in well so I don't stand out. I don't want to gain attention" he said shrugging and you nodded. 

_____________________________________

You watched as Wonwoo walked around serving, the way his demeanor is so different from what you saw the previous night. He passes by you in the same manner he always does in a shy way, you can't help but think how he is both the shy boy with glasses, but also an intimidating man with a sword. 

In the realm of passion, behold a boy,

With stormy hues in his wistful eyes,

Where lightning sparks, an infernal joy,

A tempest within, no disguise.

In those depths, an untamed tempest brews,

A wild force, relentless, undeterred,

The raging winds dance, their primal cues,

Unleashing power with each whispered word

You wrote, you couldn't help but feel warmer now that you know him more than the others, you've seen him more. You met him by the river two days later, you talked about the sun and the moon, the Ajjhumma's tasty mandu that you get in the town's square, your favorite poems by Lan An. You told him about your childhood and he told you how he was, and how he ran away from home 3 years ago and never returned. He had walked you home that night, you had a smile on your face the whole time the next day. He was still shy in front of people, he told you he feels nervous in front of people, but you bring in a sense of comfort in him. 

_____________________________________

1 month later

You often met Wonwoo at night by the river, Mingyu had once asked you where you were going one night and you made up an excuse and bribed him to keep his mouth shut. Since the past week there have been many missing cases so Wonwoo had told you not to leave your house at night, there was a demon on loose in the woods. However today Wonwoo himself didn't turn up to work, it was around midday and he still hadn't come to the inn and your worst thoughts were taking control. Seungkwan tried to calm you but it didn't work, you finally told your parents that you weren't feeling well and left. You speedily walked towards his house with Seungkwan following close behind, and found his door unlocked, tears stung your eyes as you rushed inside, you found Wonwoo lying motionless inside and you ran to him. He was breathing, it was light but his pulse was there. You quickly tried to pick him and made him lie on his bed, you checked and he was running fever, he had several scratches on his arm. 

"Kwannie! Do something" you said in panic. "I'll get a doctor," he said but you stopped him. "You said you knew everything and I know you know about medicines. We can't let anybody know about him, he didn't want that" you said and tears flowed down he was in pain, it was evident on his face. "Wait wait, take off his robes, I know a few herbs that could help him," Seungkwan said. You couldn't think you followed his instructions. You whispered an apology and undid his robes and found more bruises, and then noticed one wound on his stomach that was turning blueish, demon poison, you had heard from Seungkwan that some demons had poisons. Seungkwan quickly came back and prepared the medicine, and you pulled the unconscious man up and applied the concoction. You applied cold wet cloth on his forehead and Seungkwan kept a check on his pulse, by sunset it was steady, Seungkwan promised to sneak you out of the house in the morning and sent you home. "He is sleeping, I'll keep a constant eye in him, trust me, go home before your mother arrives and we're both in trouble, I'll make some excuse at home tomorrow" he assured and you reluctantly went back. 

You couldn't sleep even for a moment, your mind was clouded with thoughts, the wounds, bruises, his face when he was in pain. Your heart had stopped for a moment when you first found him lying on the ground, your heart still aches and something told you it will stay that way until you see him awake.

Its been 2 days, since you and Seungkwan took turns and looked after Wonwoo. You felt your heart empty when you looked at him, you sat at a corner of his cottage and leaned your head on the wall. You didn't realise how tired you were and fell asleep. You woke to the sound of shuffling and opened your eyes to scream. It was the man Jeon Wonwoo himself back from almost his death. He slowly brought his hands and brushed off your bangs out of the way from your eyes. "I don't like this haircut, your eyes are always hidden, I can't look at them from far" he said and tears welled up in your eyes. You stood up and hugged him as you sobbed into his chest as he caressed your hair. "Don't scare me like that" you scolded him as he apologized to you. That was when it clicked what situation you were in and you jumped back away from him. For so long he was unconscious and you never noticed his actual wide shoulders, that seemed so strong. His strong muscular arms and the many old scares that told stories of his bravery. Jeon Wonwoo was a beautiful man, you concluded. 

"Hey Y/- AAAAHHH OH MY GOD!" you heard Seungkwan curse and screech as the two of you broke into laughter. 

_____________________________________

Masterlist

[the-lonely-crow]

Celia Ripley Thoughts

ok these are some observations/theories/headcanons i have about Ms. Ripley and seeing as things have started to get Crazy on podcast i figured this was a good time to write them all down in a semi organized and coherent collection.

From her first appearance i was struck by the fact that her personality is vastly different than either Lynne Hammond or Archives!Celia. At first i thought this was because she was the Celia from the Protocol universe but as Things have happened I’m thinking actually her super perky friendly personality is not really genuine.

She knows far more than she’s letting on and has no interest in telling anyone, even Sam. She actually seems like she’s trying to keep information from Sam or at least control what information he gets and when.

In the meeting with Gerry Celia kept distracting Gerry from the questions Sam was trying to ask. She interrupted Sam twice just as he was about to ask a question to ask about first his house and then the painting. Ill get more into this in a second when i talk about my theory as to what is going on with her but mostly she just seemed excited to have met Gerry Keay and to have gotten a painting out of it.

Celia recognized Jon’s voice the first time she heard Chester read a case but just now decided to mention Jon and Martin to Sam. This goes back into me thinking that she seems to be wanting to keep information from Sam.

I think Sam really likes Celia but I don’t think Celia’s feelings are nearly as genuine for him. It is possible that I’m biased but all of her flirty interactions with him have felt stilted and a bit fake in the same way that her general bubbly personality does. Personally i think she is trying to get as much information from him before she shows any of her own cards.

I saw someone else mention this as well but Celia seems to be like the audience insert for people listening to Protocol who also listened to TMA. Not just with the information she knows but with how excited she was to meet Gerry.

Couple of theories:

I think that if you travel to at least the Protocol universe you have to kill your counterpart if you want to remain stable in the new universe. Conservation of mass and all that. We see that with Darrien he’s bene fine and taken over the other Darriens life with most people none the wiser. I think Celia didn’t kill her counterpart and that’s why she keeps getting teleported in front of cars and trains and things. We know from Anya Villette’s statement that when you travel to the Archives universe you sort of merge with your counterpart (her friends still recognized her and its not mentioned that there were two of her but her friends were “distant”) so i think the kill your double thing is specific to the Protocol universe. It’s possible that this is why she couldn’t take Jack with her if she went back because he wouldn’t have a counterpart to merge with. He just fully doesn’t exist in the other world.

I think Celia intentionally dimension hopped as a favor (as much as someone does favors for their former cult leaders) to Georgie and Melanie. This is gonna touch on my general theory for what the Archives universe looked like post 200 that i wont explain further here for sake of time. Suffice to say i think it was Bad for pretty much everyone even after everything went back to “normal”. I think the hilltop road rift was still active after everything but Georgie Melanie and Basira were too busy trying to help out as the only three people alive who didn’t just spend several months in their worst nightmares to do anything about it. This is when i think Celia, as someone with no memories of any friends or family to reconnect with, volunteered to go see what was on the other side of the rift. Before she left i think Melanie and Basira (and Georgie to a lesser extent) gave her all the information they could on the supernatural including their history with the archives and important people that might be able to help (people like Gerry Keay). I think they told her mostly to gather information and maybe look for jon and martin if she could and come back. Having jack obviously would have complicated that but i do think that’s why she’s knows this universe’s Georgie.

I think one of two things probably happened to lead her to apply at the OIAR. Either 1) she was doing her own research and got to a point where a random unconnected civilian gets to the end of their resources so went to find a place where she could have more access to information or 2) after getting to the new universe she settled down and got comfortable. Like i said I don’t think things were good in the Archives universe, I’m sure a whole new world probably would have felt like a fresh start. She had a fling, had jack, had a normal job. And then ran into something that forced her to get involved again.

Anyway am very excited to see where they go with her i think she’s neat :]

[femmefatalevibe]

Do you have or can you link me any tips on how to be more flirty with the guys/gals without getting attached? I fall in love way to quickly but love the spontaneity amd rush that comes with courting/being courted, so it's a tough dilemma to be in 😭

Hi love! Enjoying feelings of lust, passion, and generally being desired are totally normal. Here are some of my tips/perspective shifts to keep in mind:

Understand attraction is a primal urge, but not a rational emotional nor often sustainable long-term. Recognize the difference between falling in love with a concept and another whole human being. This idealized connection can be strong and instant but is shallow and designed for immediate gratification. A genuine emotional connection between two people takes time and effort towards understanding each other to cultivate.

Be quick to discern between your fantasies and the reality of the relationship. Acknowledge and validate all of the fantasies you have playing in your mind about the future and exciting moments you envision yourself having with this person in your mind – all of the fun date nights, romantic gestures, steamy passionate sex, engaging & heart-warming conversations, exciting adventures, etc. Give yourself to freedom to dream and idealize these experiences. However, it is important to stay grounded and compartmentalize these fantasies from the reality in front of you. Embrace the IRL interactions one at a time as they unfold into your life. Think of just the next text you will send or the current date night, hookup, conversation, etc., you will have with this person. Let yourself feel excited about it. But live in the moment. Not the future or projections from the past – the present.

Reframe flirting and courting interactions as a self-discovery activity. Try to perceive your interactions with your suitor from an outside lens – like a friend is showing your text messages or sharing a story about a potential/new lover they're speaking to. Observe how different conversations, praises, banter, flirting, and discussions on your life values/daily activities/history/dealbreakers, and desired future make you feel and how these emotions influence how you interact with the other person. See what conversations/responses light up inside. Discern which interactions make you feel safe, happy, optimistic, and seductive, or uneasy, embarrassed, shy, and insecure. Use these initial interactions as a gut check to better understand your personal green/red flags.

Consider these interactions like icebreakers. Enjoy the conversations and all aspects of getting to know someone. Think of all these interactions as a series of "firsts" with a new person. Understand this experience is an introduction – not a sign of commitment, to another person.

See the courting stage for what it is: A trial run that can equally be a fun, interactive game and a cautionary life lesson to help guide you through future life stages/relationships. Embrace the seduction stage like a dance. There are some skills you can learn, inevitable missteps and improv moves you will encounter on the way. But, ultimately, you will find your footing and either find a mutual chemistry or give yourself permission to leave the interaction when your energy runs out and your time together comes to its natural end.

Hope this helps xx

[wisteria-lodge]

badger primary + lion secondary

hi, wisteria! I enjoy reading your sorting asks and I’ve been struggling with my sort for a while now, so I thought I would write in to ask you for some help. (the little list of bulletins you made for things to possibly include in a sorting ask was very helpful with this, btw—and now I’m wondering if that’s something that might hints towards a house too: bird? bird-like?)

I grew up in a somewhat stifling house: I played the role of perfect child for a very long time. I still do, except I’m aware I’m playing the role now—whereas I previously used to think that’s “who I have to be”—and this position, though frustrating at times (because it’s actively someone I’m not and it involves many degrees of lying), feels much better. 

A friend of mine once defined “authenticity” as “consensual presentation” and I always liked that. The presentation is the same, but it feels like a choice, and a decision you are freely making when it didn’t before. Of course that feels better. 

With everyone else in my life, I shuffle characteristics around here and there. I moderate based on what I think people can handle; usually, it’s just because I think that different people do require different kinds of modulations (I suppose I say modulations because the traits I exhibit are all present in some degree or another mostly; there are some traits I find exhausting to exhibit and don’t try to, mostly) and I’m generally happy to give them that. I do wish it wasn’t like this sometimes, because it feels like work (so not snake?), but I’ve come to realize different degrees of intensity with different people is just how things work sometimes. 

You have a very sort of calm writing style, but this does sound like Lion secondary to me. This is how Lions talk about face-changing. Like a very chill lion, but still. (Modulation = the classic Lion dimmer switch/volume dial metaphor.)

And overall, it helps people be comfortable + makes for more interesting and thoughtful conversation in general, which I would rather have than never feeling a lil :/ about altering personalities. 

Hmm. Signs of a Loyalist primary? Snake or Badger maybe? 

I suppose this is a good point to switch into mentioning that people are sort of the lynchpin to my everyday

and there we are. 

I like people, I like thinking through how they work, and I even enjoy my job because it allows me to encourage people to reflect about the world and how they think. This isn’t meant to be altruistic, though. I just find this meaningful, because people and their thinking just seem to be the most fundamental axis on which the world works (if not for that, then what would we have?). I’ve also just learned so much from people and interacting with them, and I value that immensely. 

Yes. To me there is nothing so fascinating as people. And what we have here is either a Badger primary, or a very Badgery Paragon Lion. 

That said, and maybe this is funny, I’m also a little shy. Or maybe that’s not the word: I’m reluctant to enter a conversation; I prefer to observe because it takes me time to figure out precisely what I’m thinking and want to say (spontaneity is not my favourite thing…). 

Normally not liking spontaneity would make me say ‘not Lion secondary.’ But I’m not sure. I think you may just be a quieter, more deliberate Lion secondary. 

This has also generally been true for most settings. I like preparation, and I’m usually at my best when I’m ready to some degree (and not too much, because if I go to the point of rehearsal, I obsess too much over controlling and being…well, perfect).  

Interesting. “Too much preparation screws me up” is something I see with Lions and Badgers. (Birds will tell you there’s no such thing as too much preparation, Snakes will tell you that preparation will make them less able to see the moment for what it really is.) 

When I’m in a difficult spot, I can only work my way through it by thinking it out completely. I need to make sense of what happened, to whatever degree I can manage, or else it will gnaw at me. 

This is a bit general. I could see any secondary writing this - even someone like a Snake, although they’d probably mean something very different by “thinking it out completely” than a Bird would. 

I can struggle a lot with letting go of something; I’m trying to learn, because I can see how it makes sense in some scenarios. If the situation involves a conflict with someone, I don’t need to talk it out with them for a resolution; often, it’s enough if I grasp what was motivating them and what they were trying to express in that moment. 

One thing about Lion secondaries is absolutely their tendency to go “okay, so we’re doing this NOW. No we’re not changing the subject. No we’re not coming back to this later.” And while I do kind of love them for it, and BOY does it make for some great fictional characters, you’re right in that it’s not... always the way to go, in real life. 

I do have some lines, though, which when crossed will affect my affection for the person, about which I do talk out loud. When it comes to things that are uncontrollable, (like natural disaster, to pick a random example), and no thinking will help anything, I turn to people for comfort, to remind myself there are still other good things around. 

Lion is still possible, but I’m leaning Badger for you. Honestly because you seem... a little mellow for a Double Lion, and the lion secondary is absolutely coming through. 

More broadly, in general, I struggle with doing anything I have no interest in.

Kind of just a people thing, but Bird secondaries are especially good at just sort of *making* themselves interested in things, which kind of feels like a superpower to me. 

 I’ve noticed that I can develop an interest even in things I previously felt utterly disinterested in (again, often because of perspectives people offer) and then do it willingly. But otherwise, I’m not good with completing tasks that are need-to-do/might offer something in which I don’t find any meaning (or even a job in which I can’t find value). 

When you’ve talked about the things you find value in, it’s been - people, understanding people, helping people understand themselves. So even though you are using Lion primary language here, I’m going to double down on Badger.

I think this might be all I have to offer for now? I hope it’s enough! thanks for reading it, in advance!

 Yours,

sww

[kijosakka]

got possessed and decided i must make a post about noahs character arc in dramaturgy Immediately

ok,, so the gist is friends. this is the Give Noah Friends Arc. he starts with no friends and then he gets some.

and he also gets some character flaws. for fun. dont worry he grows he develops,, umm so noah [in this AU] as a Character is very deeply rooted in two things: his defense/coping mechanisms, and his background in the industry.

to cover: his defense/coping mechanisms. they are. Bad. his primary defense throughout the show is his nonsubstance itself — but beyond that, the way he intentionally makes himself unpalatable. he makes jokes and seemingly mean-spirited quips at peoples expense and that would be innocuous if it wasnt all he was. but he very intentionally doesnt have character beyond that.

its like advanced self isolation (and regular self isolation when he refuses to interact with anyone after he gets eliminated and generally when hes off camera). additionally (to bring in themes from my original two posts) he creates a severe disconnect between noah The Person and noah The Character and it seeps through to his perception of his castmates as well.

^ this ties back into his Industry past, which,,, kinda fucked him up?? its not like its a normal developmental setting and it shows when hes being noah The Person. he doesnt really know who he is in normal settings; hes so firm in his identity within the industry and his role in it, but in Real Life, Teenage settings? clueless. has no idea what hes doing.

his severe disconnect of person and character also affects the way he sets boundaries, which is to say, hes really fucking bad at it. entertainment industries are Sketchy As Hell, and he kept his head afloat by navigating the system and working within it, but never learned to set clear-cut, do-not-cross boundaries in his relationships as a result (smth smth setting those limits were ‘taboo’ within the industry and could limit the work you got or how many people were willing to reach out)

< tacking onto that parentheses thing, hes also wildly unfamiliar with non-transactional relationships (in this way, him and alejandro are very similar). hes grown up seeing these people around him play nice for the strict purpose of give-and-take and has very few examples for things that are not that. he constantly struggles with understanding that he doesnt have to ‘repay’ things or ‘give’ something to be treated fairly.

(also smth to be said about his ‘keep everyone away’ thing where he silently thinks that even beyond the cameras if he tried to form relationships on the show he would be treated poorly/‘trampled on’ because his nonsubstance wouldnt allow him to ‘give back’ in a way that would make those people see him as worth treating fairly.

his castmates are effectively part of the industry now, why wouldnt they treat him like hes always been taught the people in the industry would?)

^ and again, it seeps through to his perceptions. to things like the love triangle, or sierras obsessive behavior towards cody; noah has trouble understanding why people like courtney would be distraught at it, because to him he can only see it in a transactional light (amplified by it being an on-camera relationship eventually turned plot point). similarly, it takes him A While to properly understand codys distress because to him it seems like sierras giving and he should just ‘return something’ to make them even (not really hitting him that he cant ‘return’ feelings like that).

which brings be further into his overarching Arc. you know, the character one. kicked off initially by wanting to unmask alejandro as a patent fake, he gets his development in other areas too --- like finally getting some real-world experiences with kids his age instead of studio execs three decades his seniors.

it gives him proper, real point of reference as to what matters to his peers beyond a clinical sense and observation --- in short, he learns to better understand the castmates around him beyond what the industry exploits them for, and in doing so he develops past his initial stunted-ness.

< and that in turn helps him learn past his slightly (very) fucked up headspace and perception that his childhood environment created.

(and to slot in now, noahs character in the AU is perfect for consistent themes of internal conflict. how he initially builds up relationships, conflict. struggling on whether to keep the act or expose alejandro, conflict. being hyperaware of both the audience and cast perceptions of him, conflict. realizing his battle has become two-sided and alejandro and thus the cast/audience is catching glimpses of his Person, conflict. realizing hes in too deep and now the plot itself demands him from a meta-ish standpoint, conflict. just conflicts all around for this guy.)

now there is the whole... being a person on camera thing. which is in essence what the entire AU and story arc thereof is centered around: noah learns that he can Be a Person and drop the overly sterile self-regulation sometimes. im,, slightly torn on how exactly to cement this kind of shift in behavior,,

< as it makes sense in my head, noah would be more willing to relent his vice-grip on his facade for the sake of achieving his goal (being expose alejandro outright/at least see whats underneath). so therefore, for the story to progress, there would have to be those opportunities, and for it to make sense those opportunities would have to increase as the plot goes on (and, ofc, inline with alejandros own relent on his mask for the sake of going back and forth in some weird bid for who can expose the other and still keep up their own facade)

^ this is kindof what ive 'settled on' to build up the rest of the AU events on (i will have to find some way to slot in those opportunities proper uuuughghgggh) but yet again if Anyone has Any thoughts at all,, hand them over pretty pls pspspspspspsp

[paeliae-occasionally]

OC interaction tag

Thank you @leahnardo-da-veggie for the tag!

Your OC: Katherine from A Perfectly Normal Schoolgirl

Katherine looks like a fifteen year old girl, acts like a cryptid and is probably closer to the latter than the former. She's quiet, secretive, and rather creepy, at least to the casual observer. To someone who knows her (that is, her best friend/apprentice Dane and her elder brother L), she is a pathological snarker, has the worst authority issues known to any immortal entity, and likes chocolate gelato more than life. She'd gleefully pick a fight with anything from vampire teachers to the goddess of dreams for no bigger reason than because she could. That said, she does have a good heart.

My OC: Apollo, older brother to tyro and proficient runic.

Apollo is about 24. He is very protective of people he cares about, this includes all magic kids because they are routinely exploited by the mages in power. He is generally a really chill person and is very observant of how people receive him. Because of this he is incredibly patient and will convince you to tell him your problems so he can help you solve them. That said, he is an incredibly capable caster and will non-lethally fight you if you threaten others.

Now for the fun part, Interaction.

I think the interaction would start when Apollo notices something is not quite right about Katherine. He would be primarily concerned about her well-being and would try to get her to talk about the obvious issues she has dealt with in her past that made her this way. To this I think Katherine would vehemently deflect by trying to start conflict with the powerful runic guy. Apollo would stand there casting shields as Katherine attacked him, trying to calm her down. She would then get bored, Apollo would try to help her again and the cycle would repeat until she was actually in danger when they would fight the threat together.

How did I do? Does this sound like your OC?

Tagging @bookish-karina, @illarian-rambling and @drchenquill

I know some of you have already been tagged, feel free to ignore this if you want. <3

+open tag to whoever finds this interesting.

[theoriginalsapphic]

Most Mlevens seem like they're very unintelligent people. I'm not talking about the young fans, but the guys on Reddit who sit around thinking they're geniuses because they saw Mike and El kiss, and used their superior powers of deduction to observe that Mike and El are currently dating.

Then they try to refute Byler evidence that even the casual viewers noticed, and their reasoning sounds like it's coming from a person who has had zero friends or normal social interactions in their lives. "Mike wasn't upset that the Byers' phone line was busy because he wanted to call his friend. He has a girlfriend, who he called during S3, so that must mean she's the only person he has ever called in his life. Once a guy has a girlfriend, he doesn't have friends anymore or talk to anyone else ever."

First of all, I’m so sorry it took me so long to reply.

The subreddit has started very recently to accept that Will is gay, and that is after of months of being in denial of the obvious and after it had to be confirmed in multiple interviews and statements outside of the show that Will is, in fact, gay. And when I say it was hard to convince them that Will is gay, I mean it.

And don’t even bother trying to imply that Mike could be anything but their mediocre gamer self-insert that ends up living the perfect heteronormative life with the coolest girl in the world for virtue of being the main male character.

mind you, these are the same type of people that saw Mike treat El with basic kindness and decided that it meant they were in love and meant to be together forever.

There is also complete lack of misunderstanding that Will’s sexuality arc, his history of trauma, and his connection with the supernatural are intrinsically connected and that all of them are equally important to Will’s character and the story.

There is also just a complete disregard about the only confirmed queer characters in general, because if they aren’t there to be the supporting cast to the straight characters, their presence on screen is worthless and a waste of time.

If there is something that signgate has left as a lesson it’s that we shouldn’t bother even thinking about the subreddit. If any other ship had been written on that sign, the posts about it would still be up. They straight up admitted to deleting posts that discusses byler, thus making it clear that the subreddit isn’t actually for everyone despite what its name may say.

My point is, don't even bother with reddit.

[whyyoualwayssoradical]

i know no one needs my approval or anything but like i completely understand anyone who wouldnt befriend a trans person.

i honestly avoid other trans people as much as i can and rarely tell them i'm trans if i interact with them. nearly all of the trans people i have interacted with online and in real life have been extreme in one way or another. it was like my friends that knew i was trans would also like constantly be trying to connect me with other trans people and it felt impossible to avoid them in most spaces after like idk 2016 or so.

i act as normal and average as can be to avoid anyone thinking i care about gender, the last thing i want is other trans people wanting to be my "friend" because most of them just want to be weird and gross and id rather just not interact with them at all unless i can figure out enough about them through observation to see if theyre "cool" or not or if someone else has vetted them and i trust that person.

like i will run away from/refuse to interact with most trans people. i hear gender i walk the fuck away and just avoid at all costs. i legit play as dumb as possible on any gender topics or if like JKR comes up, idk i suddenly cant read basically or just like idk im not really online or i dont really keep up with that stuff! and people generally dont pay it any mind and just continue on but sometimes they're really relentless & antagonistic.

maybe that makes me a terrible person but i do not want to risk dealing with one of the awful ones again. im getting anxious just thinking about it, like the amount of manipulation and guilting on top of all the fetishes and misogyny, sexism, and insufferable personalities

idk maybe i just had a particularly bad time and was really unlucky but like i completely understand not wanting trans friends

id really rather just be friends with more LGB people. i dont even have the same interests as most trans people. i found it hard to hold a conversation with most of them and i thought it was a me problem but no, conversations with a lot of them were just completely bizarre and surreal.

[9800sblog]

I think the reading it was before is fine. You don’t have to change it! I appreciate that you’re willing to change it. it didn’t make me real upset I just feel bad for them cause they got a lot of pressure on them. I know it’s like part of the job but still I just feel empathetic towards theCause even the career can be fun, it’s not always easy and a lot of times very stressful. I’ve loved music and would love to a career but idk if it’s for me cause there’s just too much to risk ya know? Mingi seems so sweet but yea I think people sexualized him, San, Wooyoung, and others a lot. Which they are grown men yes but idk

oh I just wanted to make sure that if my reading made people upset, then, at least I wrote it in a way that ateez would feel comfortable with me sharing, you know? because they like to have good control of their careers and personas, I just wanna make sure that it wouldn't bring trouble.

and yeah, it is pretty sad if you think too much about it, they chose this path when they were kids and didn't know better, they'd probably do it differently if they could, but it's not possible. all that we can do is, with the knowledge we have now, is decide if we like where our future is going and what can we do to change or maintain that?

most times when I read for ateez, specially as a group, the energy is very lighthearted and comfortable, they seem pretty close to each other and really emotionally intelligent. their troubles are very common, with the support they have of close friends and family, they will be fine! it's temporary, it's situational 😁

and, like, it's fine and normal to be attracted to people and have explicit thoughts and conversations about them, but people are too comfortable on the internet saying things that we usually keep private. I've said it before, but I think there's a big difference between east asian fans of kpop and the rest of the world, because it's general knowledge for them that they can pay for events and people to play a part when they're lonely, idols aren't the first people to do that. but, for some reason, foreigners, specially westerners, think that when idols are interacting with them, it's not pretend and they're somehow freeing them from the oh so oppressive asian culture. you can easily find videos online of fans comparing idols in korea vs the usa, for example, and it's so dumb because in both cases, they're just doing their best to get paid.

i think instead of giving up on your passion because you see the troubles, you can learn from them! ateez, specially, are people that you can learn so much from just observing them. ask questions, what can you do differently, with no hurry? how can you slowly introduce music career, in a way that makes your soul happy, into your life? and if you ever meet them, I'm sure they would love to give advices and help, they're good with that.

[nulltune]

anemone :   how does your muse view the world ;   as a cruel   &   unforgiving place ,   a land full of wonders ,   or something in - between ? where does that world view come from   (what experiences ,   life lessons ,   etc .) ?

botanical headcanons,   open !   @brawlqueen  ♡

definitely somewhere in between! hakuno has a very realistic view on things, she naturally views things in that very objective and rational manner (which makes sense considering how in canon, she's an artificial intelligence literally made to observe and understand aha-). hakuno sees things as it is and wouldn't delude herself to anything otherwise. she's surprisingly sentimental though, so she'd really be able to understand both ways of seeing it. the world can be cruel and unforgiving, but it can be a place full of wonders too.

i'd say that she's someone who has a very harsh yet honest view of things, but still wants to believe in the good in it! be it the world or people, that's pretty much the general outline of the way hakuno interacts with things.

hakuno's an amnesiac and has stated herself that she has no memories of "living" and no memories of experiencing any "enjoyable thing" (side note: 😭😭 I JUST WANT HER TO BE HAPPY WAAHH) and her life so far has been... pretty tough :,) i do have a general-ish backstory for it (and btw AAA TY LILY FOR LIKING ITT 💞 i hope it was a good read omg 😳💖), but yeah in canon she lived in a literal war for pretty much the entirety of her life! so you can probably imagine that it wasn't exactly the best quality of life, and it definitely is a setting where she'd get a firsthand experience of just how brutal the world is.

but it's exactly those experiences that makes her cherish the small things in life- even something as simple as having a meal with a friend is something extremely precious to her, so i think if she got the chance to properly live, there'd be many things in world that she'd appreciate too 🥹 she'd definitely be the sort that finds all kinds of magic and wonder even with the most basic and normal life methinks because she never had that kind of peaceful experience </3

that said! a key aspect for my hakuno is how disconnected from everything she is, so even with all this, i think she'd have an innate feeling that she does not belong to this world at all. it's also important to note that in canon, this is a legitimate fact! so i do want to make sure that in my portrayal, this isn't just something that comes from hakuno's insecurities, but a true and genuinely undeniable fact about her. she's a nobody with no home or place to belong to. so there's something bittersweet in it, because no matter how much beautiful and no matter how much she wants to be a part of this world, she'd an outsider to it.

i feel like these few line's from a poem (mary oliver's "october") sum it up pretty nicely:

so this is the world.  /  i'm not in it.  /  it is beautiful.

side note: it really explains some other aspects of her character too!! because while she does have a great appreciation for the world and all that, she's completely detached to it. it doesn't matter to her on a personal level, if that makes sense. that's how we get some brutal lines about how the world doesn't matter to her, which is just an instance of her brutal honesty rather than anything outright malicious. you can see this in her interactions with people too!

so hakuno may appear cold and aloof at times, (which is as a result of her just being really blunt i'd imagine avfjsbfb) but she's really someone who's slowly trying to understand her own emotions and be more human. you'll find that she's so incredibly softhearted and sentimental actually 🥺

[keefwho]

xenokhi Questions 2

Are there any artists that you like to keep updated with on their art or learn specifically from?

Only loosely. While I search tags/topics I'm interested in I will see work from the same few people and a few have stuck out but I don't tend to follow anyone and specifically keep up with them anymore.

Do you feel any urge to be more part of your local community and wish there were more oppurtunities to share your art?

I do, however I live in a valley with a population of 500, many of them off the grid people and their art tastes revolve around local wildlife and conservative themes. I think it could be fun to try and break into that anyways as an opportunity to get out of my usual subject matter if only I had the time and energy for yet another project.

Have you thought about doing public art or more community based projects? What about collaborations?

Since I don't have connections or a community, I tend to stick to myself. I've done small collaborations with friends in the past though and I've liked it. What I've learned is that it takes an acceptence of differences from all parties involved to collaborate on anything effectively and that is hard to find and maintain. Because of that it's not something I've found I can just jump into, it has to fall into place naturally.

How do you feel that your art impacts those that you do intereact with? Could you describe a normal interaction with your clients?

This is a tough question because in the past I've been known for my "unsavory" work. Most people I talk with including my friends didn't know I was an artist before meeting me so they got to warm up to what I did and were okay with it considering how normal of a person I was. As for clients, I keep things strictly professional and never choose to say more than I have to. I work with people who can have pretty extreme interests and while I respect that, I try to keep a reasonable distance. Most seem to understand this.

What barriers have you experienced in gaining exposure for your work as an independent artist?

I don't think the algorithm favors art like mine, I disagree with the idea of an algorithm completely because of how tailored it can get to people as if no one is able to make choices as to what they see anymore. In other spheres like that of VRchat, the infrastructure isn't there at ALL to support the discovery of new or interesting content. As a solo entity, there is not much I can do for myself it seems other than rely on people searching for specific tags.

How has social media influenced your approach to creating art? Do you feel pressured to follow certain trends or cater to popular themes?

I do not feel pressured but I do see the appeal. Trends seem to be a chance to get seen. It's like a big community event almost where if you participate, there is a decent likelyhood you will be seen by more people including those who might see something they like and stick around.

Have you observed any conflict between creating art for yourself and creating art that sells? How do you balance personal expression with market demands?

I have been conflicted about this. Generally I've found time to do both, however. Given the way I schedule, commission work has a specific amount of time I need to do it and after that I'm free to do my other stuff. I have suffered from the time commissions take out of my life though. I have a mountain of ideas and projects that can never be done thanks in part to having work to do that drains my creative battery.

Do you feel that there is a risk of “capitalizing” on certain artistic movements or themes? How does this affect your choices?

I see no risk unless you fear losing yourself. I see them as an opportunity to try something new and maybe even stay relevant in the long run if thats what you want. I'm thinking about 90s/2000s artists whose style/subject matter is still firmly rooted in those times which is cool in it's own way but experimenting with new themes could enhance that and make something very unique.

Have you encountered community pushback on any pieces you’ve displayed, and how did you handle it?

Like I mentioned before, I was known for unsavory content. I've never personally cared what people think of me or my work for a specific reason. My philosophy is that artistic expression should be free and limitless. I do not judge content I don't like, I simply do not partake. Likewise I expect the same for myself. I respectfully disagree with anyone who thinks otherwise. The good thing about the internet is that I do not have to engage in conflict if I really don't want to. So I don't.

I would also like to provide a space for just a general discussion at this point and ask where do you think I am going with all of this? I know it may seem like a super silly question and very open ended but I am curious how my vague request has impacted you.

You seem to be someone interested in knowing other people's perspectives regarding art, maybe to enhance yourself using knowledge from so many different sources? Maybe it's just a simple interest that makes you feel good. Either way I support people choosing to listen to other's opinions. I personally am trying to open myself to more social opporunities so that's why I responded to your post about interviews. It's nice to be heard and to admit to myself and others that I do know a little bit about something.

[our-monochopsis]

brief thoughts on communication skills and debate, autism and masking, tact, good vs bad faith debate

rambles sorted into loose sections half self examination diary half loose psychological thesis

the skill of speech

i was thinking about how much i like to talk (i am very self-aware that i ramble, i like hearing myself talk, i can go on random triads and anecdotes for an indefinite amount of time if nobody stops me) and started thinking about the concept of speech as a skill, or communication skills in general

the thought first started with the idea that most people don't 'train' speech; i think of RPGs that use it as a skill, speech in fallout or in some form charisma in DND systems. but in real life most people don't really think about how they talk at all, they aren't really conscious of how or to whom they're communicating to as much as they are just saying things

i think actually taking the time to try and improve your own communication skills is rare, sort of like how a few weeks of exercise immediately puts you above the majority of the population because most people simply don't exercise at all

i thought about myself and how much i love to give speeches when the time is appropriate, or how 'easy' it is to keep myself composed under pressure or to adapt a new personality for the purpose of acting or a bit

autism and communication skills

i'm autistic, i struggled socially, but i'm somewhat adverse to the general social struggle stereotype because i don't find it overtly difficult to speak to people or make friends, i just find it incredibly tiring and taxing on my mental energy (it's not that i DISLIKE it, i love having friends and making them, connecting with people, it just takes a lot out of me to start and maintain them)

so i STRUGGLED socially, but i was capable of building the pathways in my brain by observing and studying human beings throughout my life in order to 'mask' and fit in

i had to develop my own social skills and blend in to the world of normal people, masking is a second skin, its a different person, its very off-putting to think

1. a majority of the people i interact with in my life are never really interacting with me, they're just interacting with the mask i wear, never even getting close to what i'm actually like as a human being because that mask is on tight

2. i had to become someone else in order to succeed socially, i have to be an actor to make friends in most average social situations

that as an aside, i basically had to RPG grind the concept of communicating with people for my entire life, so i built up a bunch of XP. compound that with me being lucky enough to not spawn with as much negative levels as some of my other brothers/sisters on the spectrum. i managed to get to level 1 and afford myself basic social skills, but ive been doing it for so long i do it without thinking, so im just passively collecting more XP by experiencing further social situations. i obviously have a general cap to what ive gained this way because im not some kind of politician or actual career public speaker, i can just compose myself well in a pressuring social situation and deliver words in a way that people are able to understand

i literally had to work through the concept of basic human communcation backwards- i had to reverse engineer how to speak, and built it back up slowly until i arrived at level one and then managed to push up a little bit further since i was now able to take information i had previously learned and stored in the databanks and reformat it after a system upgrade to make better use of stored data

so if regular people are level 1, maybe im like level 3? or maybe the game-ification aspect of this is falling apart and i should stop doing it

what even is being good at talking? tact?

i'm not necessarily the most goated speaker of my generation but i think

engaging in a serious conversation in a way that is

clear

concise

understandable

is actually really hard, especially when dealing with someone who is already predisposed to disbelieve you or not take you seriously

now let's briefly talk about the word 'tact', aka knowing who your speaking to and changing the way you communicate in order for them to better understand you

the actual definition being

tact

/tak(t)/

noun

adroitness and sensitivity in dealing with others or with difficult issues."the inspector broke the news to me with tact and consideration"

(adroitness=cleverness, skill)

this can manifest in a lot of ways most people already do but didn't know the word for

knowing your friend doesn't like something, so you don't bring it up

acting differently around friends vs family

when in rome, doing what locals to in an unfamiliar environment

masking, code switching, etc are all forms of tact

i think that most people have a very basic level or understanding of tact

adopting social norms to me is like your body's subconscious sense of tact adapting your personality traits (creating new ones or suppressing old ones) in order to not stand out as much

some people are born with some sense of tact and other people start at zero have to learn and develop it over time

approaching it from a perspective of a debate or disagreement changes things though- people who have tact, are good at speaking, communicating, etc. can completely lose these skills when faced with a disagreement

advanced tact- consoling, teaching, mental optimization

I think simply being able to speak to someone who

isn't aware of what your aware of,

of the notion they're unaware of,

and doing so in a way that is understandable,

is a basic mental facility some people don't build

basic tact is as i described earlier, but an advanced sense of tact comes into play when you're consoling someone

(how are they upset? what is the problem and how was it caused? do they need it to be fixed, or do they just need to vent? what is the remedy, does there need to be one or is the answer getting over the hump to acceptance? etc.)

or, when you're trying to explain something or teach someone

(what makes them 'not get it?' what's causing the mental block? how do you bridge that gap for them? how do you explain something to someone who doesn't know what you know, about the thing they don't know about, in a way that they can understand?

how can you make them understand in a way they can understand, not in a way that makes you understand?)

these things are basically social puzzles, challenges that put your communication skills to the test, sometimes it feels like a normal jigsaw puzzle and sometimes it's like tip-toeing around a minefield. in these situations you're usually looking for a 'breakthrough', that's the best outcome- a resolution that DOESN'T necessarily fix their problem, or tell them something directly, but puts them in a position where they can resolve their own problem, or learn without your aid

the goal of consoling isn't to make yourself the savior, it's to put the troubled person in a place where they're capable of getting over it themselves

in a way this could sound bad- if you were to be critical of my thinking, you could say something alongside the lines of 'that's selfish, you don't want the mental burden of trying to help them, that's just giving up'

but from my point of view, putting someone in a position where they're capable of 'getting over it' themselves means they come out stronger. obviously that isn't always the goal, or the best method, or even necessary, i'm not a psychopath. but i think the best outcome is that person being more capable of handling their mental struggles in the future themselves. instead of stepping in to save them as part of some kind of grand hero complex, you are giving them the mental tools to repair what's broken or off-kilter, and hopefully adding it to their own skillset.

and a similar view is seen for teaching- the ultimate goal isn't to make the pupil understand a concept, but to give them the tools and make them understand how they can understand the concept. then, they can apply that same thinking to similar questions or concepts in the future.

and both of these 'best outcomes' (as i see them) can only happen with tact! really good, strong tact!

if you want an extremely basic version of this, we learn equations, not just the answer to the number problem. now apply that thinking to every form of teaching, consoling, or other social skill test

the difficulty with tact with convincing and debates

you will never be an effective communicator if you can't see through someone elses eyes

instead of writing people off who don't instantly or instinctively understand you as being ignorant on purpose to spite you or just stupid, build that mental facility and put in shifts walking in other people's shoes

even if it sucks, even if their reasons are stupid, you have to understand their reasons they think something before you could ever hope to convince them what they think is actually wrong

you HAVE to do this- you HAVE to, if you are engaging in the 'debate' seriously, scale the walls of their mental fortress and figure out what makes why in their brain

and obviously, this is a very difficult thing to accomplish because it's impossible to have a 100% completion rate. it's somewhat unavoidable that we insert our own bias and assumptions into their thought patterns and reasoning

and to double down, even when communicating with someone who stands for the same goals or ideals, you are both possibly interpreting the thing you agree with in different ways. sometimes when deconstructing a concept someone agrees with you on you'll find that you actually think very different things, or have radically different reasons for coming to the same conclusion, in a way you don't necessarily agree with

simplified; it's unavoidable to assume things. the game played properly is assuming things correctly, though the method of combining concrete information with a series of loosely stitched together educated guesses blanketed in a patchwork benefit of the doubt

sometimes you'll deconstruct someone's mental patterns and realize it makes you not like them even more. you understand the reason, but the reason is bad and stupid. but that's still the board you have to play on if you want to actually engage with them or even hope to change their minds. that's still the springboard you're bouncing off of. you understand this person better-

now can you actually engage with them properly, better? or does it make you hate them more? can you ignore that in order to communicate with them? so on. sometimes you have to grit your teeth and trudge through the wasteland. sometimes you pull out of the matrix early because it isn't worth it. sometimes the mountain is too high to climb. sometimes you try anyway

this isn't to say that people who think awful things are always worth considering or communicating with; i don't believe in giving a platform to a racist for instance. racism is an inherently illogical thing. to 'understand' a racist involves jumping through a bunch of poorly though out wiring that, if untangled, will simply break the machine. you can't seriously debate a racist because it's a concept so stupid it's impossible to take seriously.

sometimes you can still try tip-toeing the subject. the concept of 'seeing through the eyes of a racist' sounds insane but you can do it in order to present themselves with their own logical fallacies. sometimes all it takes to deconstruct a concept is asking questions about it's basic functions. but then again there's generally no merit to saying something like, 'you've intentionally taken an illogical position in order to excuse hate' because most racists already know that. it only really works if that specific racist is trying to approach their racism with easily disproven psuedoscience or something of that matter

okay enough about debating racists lets get back to

when you are arguing with someone even about something basic you're actively challenging the bridges they've built in their brain to connect information which have been reinforced in their mind for an untold number of years

a heated debate over a serious topic, or a battle of wits, while instinctually intellectual in nature in the sense of needing to get your facts right and righting the wrongs your opponent presents,

is actually a skill that relies more on charisma, as a debate isn't about being right, it's being able to convince the other person that you're right

intellectually you can understand that the information you have is the correct information, but can you make someone else see that? believe it? take it into consideration?

what the 'facts don't care about your feelings' crowd doesn't ever really seem to understand is that emotional intelligence is intelligence. you have to be really smart to understand people psychologically. using 'tact' is a charismatic skill that is built on intelligence. you have to have tact! when you don't have it, you can't talk to people good! nobody's going to pay attention to what you have to say if you can't deliver it effectively!

that's why political parties have politicians. they're the mouthpiece; they're the charisma, they are the tact of the political machine. they are the human delivery of a political parties ideas

even if you do really think someone is stupid, you saying that doesn't help

are you actually trying to debate with someone and convince them you're correct, or do you just want them to feel bad about being wrong? i've done both, but it's important to understand the difference between actually having an intelligent debate and just having an argument (don't get semantics on me you know what i'm saying)

for example, if someone makes a shitty tweet, you don't have to really dive into their psyche and change their mind one neuron at a time. sometimes you can just call them stupid.

but let's say your family member or friend says something wrong? to the point where you actively need to engage with them in a way that doesn't lead to a by-the-numbers negative influence on both parties, potentially damaging the relationship?

that's the chance to employ tact. and knowing when to use tact and when it doesn't matter... that's right baby, that's tact too. we're always tacting whether we like it or not, that's why it's good to be good at it

sometimes you actively stand to gain something by taking your social opponent in a direction that doesn't actively go against them. sometimes you have to make a stupid person think it was their own idea to change because otherwise they never will. sometimes being gentle with someone whose being aggressive is the only real answer. etc

in a debate, taking a position of unrelenting offense or playground insults instead of using tact and effectively engaging with your opponent would lead to a loss. but what if it didn't?

a quick aside on good faith vs bad faith debates

streamers arguing with eachother on a livestream regardless of the subject aren't engaging in a serious debate, they're basically just socially wrestling for an audience to comment on

you can have a debate with someone. you can use tact, be an effective communicator, be nuanced. but if the goal isn't to seriously engage?

when there's an audience involved, are you preaching to the choir? do you play to the ever-updating twitch chat? in front of your friends, are you disagreeing with your opponent or are you just agreeing with your friends?

the goal of modern televised debate, from internet personalities to our modern day politics, is less step by step and more setup and punchline, where the ultimate goal is to pedestal yourself as a noble unassailable being of pure facts and logic punching down on a rancorous, ignorant buffoon who should be ridiculed for even daring to go toe to toe with someone better at making the other guy look dumb. it is by basic reasoning a 'bad faith' position to take

i watch streamers argue sometimes, its fun, but it's hard to take it seriously even if someone is saying things you agree with. it's a different kind of debate, a different kind of social challenge. you have the common pressure of a watching audience, but entirely different goals. 99% of the time, a publicized debate is more about making your enemy into content instead of actually having a logical discussion about something.

i'm not here to make you understand why i think the way i think, or to deconstruct why you think the way you think, i'm here to turn you into a content farm. i'm collecting clips. it's for the subscribers, not the noble goal of reaching common ground or a logical conclusion

am i a master debator? baiter? do i debate? master debate? inator? master debator inator?

how i approach debates;

revisiting the optimization i talked about earlier- despite writing all of this out in a mad dash of mental strain at 4 in the morning (time goes fast when your rambling), puttering away at what it means to talk good for hours in front of a dimly lit screen, i typically do not engage in tact when it comes to debates. i don't take people seriously. but my reasons are very good i think

i can generally tell when someone wants to engage in a serious discussion vs when they are only here to virtue signal their own beliefs and leave, grandstanding their beliefs over yours with no intention of an actual discussion

i have a limited amount of mental energy and it generally isn't worth spending on spur of the moment internet flamewars

i am a mental optimizer

the last note- i think the ultimate goal of a debate should be common ground. the ultimate goal of a debate should not be to be 'right', but to establish a new, more constructive narrative for both parties. this is the utopian outcome; we take two disagreements, a result of missing information and confusion, put what we know together and pit various bits and pieces of data together, we figure out what is and isn't true based on what we both provide, and in turn we can both walk away smarter

but i know the chances of this actually happening are incredibly low

when i say i love to debate people, it's kind of unavoidable to conjure the image of a ben shapiro emulator running off damaged software. but i really do like it when i disagree with someone about something and we both run off our own reasonings and lists. a good debate or argument is like fencing. it's fun!

and it's fun when both parties use their tact, so that even if a common ground isn't necessarily reached, we can understand the value in eachothers viewpoints, or at the bare minimum ingest enough information to better understand the other person's point of view if we're unable to liken benefit or meaning to their actual beliefs

that's a pipe dream though. it doesn't happen

the ending

now that i've talked about communication skills, autism, tact, and racism, let's revisit the gameification aspect i was going for earlier

a

level one tact challenge(tm)

is giving someone a little push to do something they already wanted to, like acknowledging it's okay for someone to start doing something they were waiting for confirmation on

level one tact challenges are basically just suggestions that don't require a lot of thought. use tact to determine what it is and then just pull the trigger. you can't miss you just need the basic thought to understand what that person is waiting to hear, or when to shoot

a level two is convincing your friend to take a bite of your food at a resturaunt. the meal contains something your friend normally doesn't like, but it doesn't taste the same it usually does.

i don't typically enjoy or seek out spinach. but when my friend wanted me to try the spinach dip with our nachos, i didn't really have to think about it.

three is convincing someone to start their day when the bed is really comfortable and they're still tired,

four is like... convincing someone who isn't confident that they look good in the clothes they're trying on. you use tact to understand why/how they're self concious, understanding through tact they don't actively see what you see because they see themselves as a worse version of themselves.

maybe you accentuate what you like about it. it's just so 'you', the style matches what you usually wear, it fits you well. maybe more specific, like it makes your shoulders broad in a nice way, or it adds a lot to your side profile/silhouette. use some tact to compliment then in a way they feel good about in order to raise their confidence. sometimes you have to fish for a path that works before you walk down it...

4 is the jumping point in a way, once you get here and above you're actually challenging people, or challenging their preconceived notions or thoughts. it becomes more an actual struggle from there up

a level five is teaching a basic task that is relatively difficult to a child,

level six is a heated bad faith livestream argument,

a level seven is convincing your friend/family to stop saying something they didn't know is insensitive/a slur,

a level eight is convincing your friend/family to stop saying something they're fully aware is insensitive or a slur,

a level 9 is a presidential debate stage,

and a level 10 is actively trying to debate twitter troll about racism being bad or not

if i were to really close my eyes and throw the dart at the board from a relatively close yet still blind distance, i'd say most of the human population can realistically handle a level 4 challenge with some great effort, 5 when they really apply themselves, and then break down at 6 and above, if they even try at all

and a noticeable amount of the population stop at 2 and put zero effort into any further tiers

and to place myself i feel like i could realistically tackle a 7 and below, 8 is possible with great effort. there are also a lot of people who can or at least think they can/are willing to try, but on average i feel like most people wouldn't really be effective communicators when it comes to such challenging situations to be in. remember that winning is communicating and using tact effectively, not just shaming someone for being wrong or etc as discussed earlier

the worst part about grinding tact/communication XP is unless you serially choose which battles to fight (which isn't a bad thing necessarily it just means you're gonna level super slowly) you're destined to inevitably fail. in fact, if you're willing to dissect why you failed beyond just the shame of social failure and reclusion, it's probably the best way to level your skills. you have to have enough skill to diagnose your skill failures. it's a muscle; you build it up, but it has to burn itself before it comes back stronger. and if you don't keep using that muscle, it'll eventually atrophy. failing is normal when trying to progress in anything and that is still true for things like communication skills, so maybe do some self-preparation before actually engaging and get that mental fortitude up before someone takes a wrecking ball to your wall in retaliation

oh, and there's the whole idea that the 'dark side' of tact is basically just manipulation, but then it gets muddy when you try to draw the line sometimes. if your manipulating someone to do something that's good for them and doesn't directly benefit you, are you manipulating them? or are you just using tact? at what point in a debate does your toolbox start radiating sith energy? how many people use tools they aren't even aware radiate darkness, even if it's done with good intent to achieve good outcomes that aren't necessarily beneficial for you?

i mean obviously there's a moral failing, because what you think is good for someone might not be what they want, and if you preside over their own reasoning you're overstepping your boundaries. i think this is solved with safety nets; although i don't like the idea that i have to self-impose restrictions on how i interact with people to make sure i'm not acting on bad faith without realizing it, it's probably more normal than i'd think, and it's better that i'm self aware enough to have that understanding in the first place. but then there's that whole conversation to have about extreme situations and excruciating circumstances; we ban drugs like meth because it's inherently extremely harmful to consume. if someone is fully informed, aware, and conscious of what meth does to the body, and they choose to take it, and you don't let them, are you taking away their freedoms? are you 'playing god' by not letting people hurt themselves? but what do we know is really hurting? when are we supposed to let go?

i think there's a much larger conversation to be had about things like this, but there are some notions i'd like to think about and dissect in the future; ideas like, well it's bad for an individual to do it, that's why we create systems that check eachother for failures before pushing laws like 'no meth' through. even the most obvious things have to be rigorously checked, because at one time, gay marriage being illegal was the result of a failing system. and how much trust do we even put in our modern day legal system? is the 'system' not just a collection of individuals who can be manipulated themselves?

what even is manipulation? control? tact? did i properly explain what tact is in this post? am i being tactful right now and writing something digestible? no, im not being tactful at all, this whole post is catered to how i logically approach things and isnt explicitly 1:1 written for people who dont think like me

putting a cap on it before i completely go off the rails; that whole self-imposed discussion will be it's own post. i hope the rest of this is legible